#i know i will hurt so so bad for weeks but im also sure that the love will morph into something platonic

[berryblu-soda]

Anyways update i just didnt bother to post earlier:

fr God is good and the whole car crash my parents got into last week was so incredibly mild in terms of injuries!!!! worst was a bruised knee im pretty sure

ALSO-

*taps mic* HUG YOUR FREAKING LOVED ONES OR SO HELP ME!!!!!!!

[kamileonik]

life update?

[our-lady-of-mcr]

everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn

[heartyearning]

why does liverpain manifest so fucking suddenly out of seemingly nowhere & all the ““remedies”“ online are like long term ‘eat nothing but salad until one day you’ll die’ situations . nothing makes me feel more murderous than liver hurty. luckily nothing makes me slower to move around too

[orcelito]

I went and did my exam (very thoroughly), got home and sorted out my finances + ordered groceries (bc I finally have some fucking money to buy them with), & then planned to write a bit and then do some chores. But then I just conked out lmao

It's been... a rough few days. I probably needed the rest.

[vaguenotions]

Oh, yes, I just love your unannounced sleepover where you both come back from the bar after carefully avoiding telling me that's where you were going, and also neglecting to tell me when you'd be home! I definitely do not want to knock you on your ass and take a bat to your dome! That would be rude and unnecessary :)

Oh yes, please do start talking about shit amongst yourselves and make me feel isolated and othered in ny own room! These moments are what I live for, of course. Naturally. Who would ever have any issues with this arrangement at all?

[scarlettmurphy]

STARCROSSED +ੈ✩‧₊˚ LOGAN HOWLETT.

logan and y/n — where you are completely in love with a man older then your father by a good 100 years.. and whose in love with another.

- content warning age gap. nsfw. sh. angst. not really happy endings! pairings: older!logan howlett x xaiver!reader

spoiler: horrible yearning!

note this is my first piece of work so i hope it’s okay! i love logan sm i had to write something for him — and this is really angsty :) pls ignore if there’s any bad grammar! i’m a bit lazy rn, also with the timeline for this fic i have no idea when im going for. im saying 2000s-2010s just remember its a bit scrambled timeline wise cos i wanted my favs here!🤭 enjoy!

you hated when he was around. you couldn’t stand it anymore. your longing glances to him, the yearning looks you gave him which were never returned and only thrown back into your face when you saw how he was looking at jean the way you looked at him.. it had all been getting too much. at first you acted like it didn’t bother you and part of your school-girl crush deluded brain pretend you were just seeing things but as the weeks / months had passed you realised that was the furthest thing from the truth.

recently you couldn’t even bring yourself to glance at him because it hurt too much and that wasn’t even being dramatic, the aching feeling in your heart wasn’t worth getting a glimpse of his timeless beauty so every time he was around you bit down the urges swallowed your pride and acted as if he was nobody to you, just a good friend. a father figure, a teammate.

it felt rude at first, to you since you were the only one noticing it, how you just stopped all those little things you were doing but you couldn’t help it or stop yourself from being like that because it was too hard to deal with — loving someone so much with all your heart but you knew you couldn’t have them. you hated to admit it but it destroyed you and that little part of you right now was falling into a full blown rage as you sat on the sofa alongside logan and wade — charles, hank, scott and rogue being present in the room too.

“i just don’t get her.” scott said out, repeating the same line over again, still bitching about the fight him and jean had after they all got back from the mission — everyone could hear the screaming and scott’s harsh gaze when he entered the room just confirmed it all and the second,of course, logan asked a question after wade made a snarky comment that set off scott and he hadn’t stopped mansplaining it since.

“yea’ well certain people don’t.” logan gruffly spoke out as y/n couldn’t stop her eyes from moving over to him at his words, feeling a sense of hurt coarse through her like it usually did whenever he spoke about jean or implied her. everyone knew what logan’s comment meant and y/n could see how scott was biting his tongue, clearly pissed off like he always was around logan. for good reason.

the tension only grew worse when scott couldn’t help himself and made a comment right back at him, his eyebrows raised as he stood from his seat. charles attention turning right to scott instead of logan, “and what’s that supposed to mean, asshole?” scott spat out like his words were venom.

rogue rolling her eyes at his words as hank shared a little glance with y/n who was cursing the entire situation in her brain as she couldn’t stop herself from looking at logan — those very same feelings boiling in her body as she saw the way his mouth twitched and his jaw clenched. how protective he was getting over jean, a feeling y/n couldn’t help have been wishing for the past two years of knowing the man he would get like over her — sure in a friends way he might’ve done it before, at least that’s how she saw but it never like this.

y/n swore she could physically feel her heart aching.

“pretty sure you know what that means pal.” logan bit back harshly, his words falling to the same tone as scott’s did as scott scoffed at what he said as he bit back with full frustration as charles clearly wanted to get involved - a little grimance pictured on his face as y/n studied her fathers expression, him clearly knowing what jean meant to logan, as y/n looked away before her dad could catch her staring her eyes falling onto a pissed off scott who downed the drink he had in his hand, placing it on the table.

“she picked me.” was all scott needed to say as the weight in the room shifted heavily on logan’s end as everyone could see the way logan’s face dropped a little, that comment taking the little coy expression he had right away but y/n didn’t even bring herself to look, scott’s eyes taking her in as if he knew what she was feeling in this moment. his eyes meeting her own as y/n felt a lump form her throat — the tightness almost burning — as he tutted at how silent logan was before he walked out the room without another word.

with this the room fell silent. everyone knowing the feelings logan must’ve been harbouring right now, y/n especially, as she glanced over to him not expecting to be met with his brown eyes looking back at her as he took in her expression before he roughly got up without another word — going right over to the door.

chaeles couldn’t help himself as he spoke up firmly the second he watched logan head for the door, “logan—“

“just goin’ for a piss, wheels.” he roughly said back before the door shut right behind him.

“more like a bitchless weaping session.” wade couldn’t help say as he had left the room, hank and rogue not being able to help their little laughs from coming out as y/n bit down on the inside of her cheek limiting the feelings she was experiencing as much as she could before she stood up.

“—i’m going to shower.” y/n said out lowly, her words slipping out quickly as the others nodded or hummed in agreement, wades eyebrows furrowing as he clearly felt he knew more of the situation then the rest did but he kept that to himself.

“take some pics for me!” wade called back to her, earning a little look from charles as hank scoffed in reply.

— +ੈ✩‧₊˚

that shower was more like watching a re run of singing in the rain which y/n couldn’t help watch the entirety of for no specific reason before she eventually hoped in the shower. the faint sounds of her speakers being heard as she hummed along to the lyrics of the specific song as she felt the cold water glide down her naked body.

swallowing the pain-filled whimpers that were aching to escape her wet lips as she acted as if the water gracing against all those marks and burns on her skin wasn’t killing her inside despite her ‘little’ case of immortality. immortality sadly didn’t mean you never experienced pain and y/n was clearly the leading case proving that matter as she soon got out the shower after washing her hair and her body.

wrapping the towel around her dainty body as she took in herself in the mirror, the thoughts forming in her brain being within the ‘self loathing’ category as she exited her bathroom. her face falling once she was met with the gruff expression on logans face which turned to one of shock as his eyes scanned over y/n immediately. him swallowing his own spit as y/n hands immediately wrapped around her towel just to make sure it wouldn’t fall.

“lo— shit, i didn’t know you were here.” she quickly managed out, her face a bright shade of red as she watched as logan didn’t move his gaze off her figure.

“—wait.” not a single word escaping his lips as y/n walked over to her bed where her clothes were laid out for her.

y/n’s breath was hitched and she swore she felt all the heat rush to her face as she took in the way logan was just staring at her as she grabbed her clothes with her other hand, taking a few steps back into the bathroom before she swiftly shut the door. her mind a mess as she quickly put on her pajamas before she sprung over to the mirror to double check her appearance before she walked back out to her bedroom.

logan being in the exact same place she had left him — not a single word had left his lips and his facial expression was the exact same as y/n nervously smiled at him.

“what are you doing— uh, here?” y/n asked him swiftly, her words rushed as she swore she could hear her heartbeat in her ears as she saw logan slowly seem to come back to reality, scratching the back of his neck as his lips parted as he tried to say something.

yet it took a little for something to come out as y/n swore she felt something growing in the air as logan finally spoke, his gruff tone a little knocked back then usual, “was coming here to bitch about scott. didn’t mean to see anything i shouldn’t have.”

his words sent a little chill through y/n’s spine as she managed a little smile on her lips, no matter how fake it was she still managed it, as she looked at him. his first words being all the confirmation her heart needed in this moment as she held back her feelings as she felt her heart tense.

“it’s okay.” y/n rolled out quietly, her attention falling over to her bed as she walked over to the foot off it — sitting down on the edge of the bed as logan stayed in place, his arms crossed as he leaned against the fireplace in her room now.

“so scott, you wanna bitch?” y/n trailed off into as logan looked out the window, seemingly lost in his thoughts as he shrugged his shoulders.

“nah, not anymore.” he said, his voice low as y/n took in his hush voice — his words only adding to the building up tension that was making the air thick as y/n looked at him. her eyes taking in every inch off him and how he looked, her mind wondering how he’d feel.. how’d he’d taste.

yet her thoughts were immediately cut short.

“—you seen jean about?”

his words were like a harsh hit round the face as she felt a lump for her in throat, her mind tingling a little as she glanced over to the door. she hated this, every inch of this. she wanted to scream, punch him in the face. confess right there and there at him but she didn’t. she couldn’t.

no matter how much it killed her inside. every second without him being like a gun shot to the heart as she plainly looked back at him, a soft smile growing on her face which was so fake it was indescribable as she nodded to her bedroom door.

“her room, i guess.”

her low words were enough to make anyone know she was hurt yet of course logan didn’t, or he didn’t show he knew as he gave her a playful wink.

“thanks bub.” he said with a nod as he went to walk out the room — his hand on the door when y/n heard his muttered words.

“sleep well y/n.”

his words fell into silence as y/n watched him leave, the door closing behind him being the utmost reminder of how her feelings will probably never be acknowledged. and that harsh reality left her alone in her bedroom for the entire night and with every toss and turn her mind was on one thing and one thing only. him.

— +ੈ✩‧₊˚

[plumipal]

I just had a thought- how would Grim and the ramshackle ghosts feel about all the stuff happening to us?

Especially if the yandere(s) are coming over to our dorm too! Would they, depending on the severity of the yandere and their specific actions, range from supporting it cuz yknow reader gets to be happy with someone who treats them well and loves them to concerned because sweetie please get yourself outta there 😭

I can imagine Grim is NOT alright with it and for a multitude of reasons, they are taking away your time with HIM, and once he pays more attention to the bigger picture? Yeah messed up things be occasionally happening that could very well hurt you!! He does not like that!!!

im just imagining Grim being visibly not alright and reader will not have it either when it comes to him, they are a PACKAGE deal and that is that no matter which yandere comes their way 🗣️

we have many people more alright with Grim being reader’s number one priority, or yknow silently(?) wishing it was them, poor Grim and Reader man encountering yandere after yandere 😭

Grim would give us a look if we expressed any sort of romantic interest in any yandere I think lol

‘Pologies if it was too long or ranty, though I am curious who you think would be the most and least alright with this? I imagine Leona and Ace (legally required to bring up Ace he’s my all time fav next to Grim) would NOT like it lmao

.. first off, this is the longest ask ive ever gotten, I gotta just say oml thank you so much????? You, wrote all of this, fpr me?? 🥹🥹🥹💖💖💖 this literally made my week thank you so much bestie 🥹😭 second off, this inspired me to rant too, I hope you enjoy!- (not proofread btw)

So im mainly gonna focus on grim, no offence to ramshackle ghost fans, I just really like the silly little fire-cat/rat/weasel/creature. He was literally our first friend, our first companion (I bet Ace and grim bicker on who was your first).

And oh boy, guy is NOT HAPPY when he sees all these dumbasses vying for your attention and either trying to butter him up with tuna (which will not work on the mighty grim!) or ugnore him completely! Like you stated you and him are a package deal! Get the prefect and get their silly hungry companion!!

Now, grim surely uses his position as your closest companion as a safety net, they can't kill off the closest you have to family in this world! Guess they gotta live with him if they wanna have a life with you.

Ace hates that grim was your friend before him, feeling annoyed whenever he bullied (Juice) Deuce about being friends with you before him only for grim to butt in. Ace isn't too annoyed with grim though, and grim thinks that Ace is one of the better choises of the roster you have, they're both friends after all.

Of course most students in the cast don't liek "sharing" you with grim, especially the more territorial ones. Leona is probably the worst, I mean come on they're both feline looking creatures. With scent being a heavy thing for felines (yes even beastmen dont come at me) Leona is not happy to have his scent on you be muddied by the little rodent (the greatest mage of all, grim). Probably the worst choise since they're just gonna bicker to the end of the world..

Floyd doesn't like this either! Not fair that he has to share!! And with grim no less.. Floyd results in biting you instead of scenting, his chompers being good for nibbling on you. He also has the advantage that grim is sorta afraid of him (honestly who wouldn't be? Especially yan Floyd...).

Kalim tries to brime grim, with anything he could ever think off! Unlimited tuna for grim, and the best there is as well!! Nything grim could ever want on a silver platter, only if grim let's kalim marry you! That alone doesn't sound too bad, but that unsettling horrifying servant that follows Kalim around. He knows what jamil can do, and he sure does NOT want you with that dude!- guy is manipulative and creepy (he would definelty seperate you and grim!-)

Malleus... Malleus scares grim, guys is honestly horrifying. Threatening to curse him into an eternal slumber so he can whisk you away from him, he doesn't want that! You would also get sad id malleus did that, so luckily the possessive dragon had to share (for now...)

Whoever you choose, grim would probably disapprove, guy thinks of you as family (he will never admit that tho). He cares about you, and he is not okay with the invasion of privacy from these teenagers! >:(

I know you didn't ask fpr any drawing or such, but I couldn't help myself sorry 🤭 hope you like my ramblings back at you!

[auroreliis]

what if reader had k*lled someone before and the batfam (yandere) dis not know like «I dont need your damn protection» reader said to the batfam «but the world is so dangerous out there and your just a baby» the batfam said to reader « B!TCH I have k*lled someone the f you mean im a baby?!?» the batfam with horrified expresion «WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!»

That last little part is a funny little over dramatic way it might go.

Oh, you are COOKED. (Do pardon my use of brainrot language...)

CW: mentions of murder...obviously

The first thing they do is isolate you in a room and keep you there for a while until they figure out what to do with you (and so you can think about what you've done).

What happens next? Therapy sessions, which they all agreed on.

Don't worry, you will tell them everything, specifically Bruce, since he's the one carrying out the therapy sessions.

"Why did you kill that person?"

"How do you feel about it now?"

"Do you regret it?"

"How do you feel after our conversation?"

He pities the person you ended up killing and feels a little disappointed. A life was taken by you, an innocent person's life. He didn't raise you like this, did he...?

However, he also pities you. Unless you are trained to kill someone, it breaks you. He's seen it so many times, people commiting murders and then panicking, breaking down, because they couldn't live with the consequences of their actions.

You're a mere civilian, how could you ever have been exposed to that kind of environment? How could he let this happen? No, it is his fault for waiting so long before saving you from the world. He will teach you why it's wrong. He will make sure you heal and never take another life again. After all, it is his job as your father to guide you in life.

That's right, the only reason you could've done it is because you didn't know any better. You are a mere child in this old, cruel world, after all.

In the end, he holds himself accountable. He should've done better. He should've protected you better from the cruel world you live in.

Dick would be shocked. His little birdie, his angel, killed someone? Impossible. You're so innocent, like a baby, so how could this be true? He would take some time off to come to terms with the fact that you're not the kind of person he expected. When he comes back, after a week, he seems slightly distant.

With time, following your therapy sessions, he will return to his normal, clingy, annoying self. However, you can't help but wonder why he was acting so weird that one week.

Despite the fact that he also kills people, Jason is incredibly suprised and disappointed after hearing that you killed someone. Unlike everyone else, he feels anger. You're so young, so innocent, you grew up in a place where murdering someone was not necessary, so why would you do it? He doesn't kill people because he wants to, he only does it because he needs to. But you didn't need to do it.

That's what upsets him most. You chose to do it. You willingly took a life.

Despite being so hurt, so broken, he still feels an ounce hesitation when killing people, so how come you, someone who didn't go through what he did, could kill someone in a situation that wasn't even self-defense? Nothing could possibly justify it! And here you are, proudly announcing it to them. You should be ashamed.

He kills murderers, so what should he do with you? Does that make you as bad as the criminals he kills? God, he doesn't even want to think about it.

Jason won't get over it for at least a month. He'll be very distant around you and won't be seen smiling for a long time. Towards you exclusively, his behaviour becomes incredibly bitter. In fact, he's the one who most strongly encourages Bruce to carry out the long, grueling therapy sessions. He really thinks it'll do you good...

Tim's reaction would be more mild than expected. He would certainly feel uncomfortable with the fact that you seemingly feel not an ounce of guilt or regret. However, he wouldn't change his behaviour too much for too long.

During the first week, he'd be a bit more careful with his affection towards you. No, it's not because he's scared. He simply wants to observe you and see how effective the therapy sessions are. If he feels that your attitude towards murder hasn't changed, he would encourage Bruce to be more intense during the therapy sessions.

He would be more careful with the activities he offers you, since Bruce called a meeting with everyone to establish more rules, those being directed at Tim mostly. Tim's "cool, lenient older brother"-act needs to change.

From now on, no crime films or shows (especially not any violent ones), no crime documentaries, no crime or detective books, no vular language, no threats towards anyone or anything and for at least 14 months, no leaving the manor.

This change will probably be permanent.

[bigbuffjoonie]

I AM REEEEEEEELING. REELING I TELL YOU!!

Versus | MYG, JHS - Chapter 5

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader x Hoseok

Genre: smut, fluff, angst, crack, enemies to lovers, Villains!AU

Rating: M (18+)

Warnings: swearing, mentions of weapons - blades, use of restraints - chains and straitjacket, implied threat of death by mauling, fighting, mentions of blood, Yoongi confirmed cat owner, Hobi's fuse is getting shorter by the minute

Word Count: 2.5k

Disclaimer: NSFW, obviously I don’t own BTS - they just inspire me

Summary: Supervillain exes Yoongi and Hoseok are sick and tired of having their plans for world domination wrecked by you, aka Vitality, the world’s most powerful superhero. When fellow villain Jimin suggests a little competition to see who can bring you to your knees, they both eagerly accept. Now the battle is on as both men engage you in fight after fight to see who will conquer you first. Will you finally defeat these two, or will they destroy you - and possibly take each other out in the process?

A/N: And we're back in the ring again, for another round of fights! Things are really heating up. Time for our villains to decide if they're gonna put out the fire, or burn even brighter, as Hobi himself would say.

Unbeta’d as usual. I’d love to know what you think - my inbox is always open! 💕

Chapter Four ✨ Series Masterlist ✨ Chapter Six

Chapter Five: Back in the Ring

Yoongi would really love to hear Jimin announce his name as the winner, but the way you’re moving in that straitjacket right now has him doubting today’s his lucky day.

You’re also questioning your luck as you attempt to free yourself from the tight black garment. One moment, you were seconds away from defeating Yoongi again, shooting his daggers out of the sky and aiming for him next, when suddenly you felt that familiar invisible wave pulsate through you, and you fainted.

You, Vitality, the most powerful creature on the fucking planet, swooned like some lady in a romance novel whose stays were tied too tight. You passed the fuck out in the middle of a fight, and woke up wearing a straitjacket, suspended by chains dangling from the ceiling in… well, you don’t know where the fuck you are. He must’ve dragged you back to one of the many safehouses he has scattered across the globe. And your fucking powers are on the fritz again, just like the last time you’d fought Yoongi and ended up strung up on the wall. 

You. Are. Pissed.

“Where the fuck are we, you ginger psycho?!” you shriek, swinging back and forth as you shift your shoulders, trying to loosen the jacket’s stranglehold. “And why the fuck do you even have a straitjacket??”

Yoongi merely cackles, stroking your nose with the tip of his dagger, trying to maintain his relaxed air. The plan is to dangle you over the cage where Moonlight, his beloved snow leopard, is waiting impatiently for her dinner. But the elaborate rope and pulley system Taehyung designed is… well, it’s stuck, the gears refusing to turn, so now Yoongi’s stalling for time while Taehyung searches for his oil. 

Yoongi makes a note to discuss proper lubrication techniques with his confidant once Moonlight’s been fed. 

The power disrupters seem to be working perfectly for once, thankfully. However, you’re bouncing so wildly that Yoongi’s starting to suspect he’s made a bad decision here with his choice of constraint. That damn jacket. Why not use his standard restraints? There are no points here for showmanship. 

Sometimes he just can’t help himself. He’s a natural born showman. 

An agitated growl brings his wandering thoughts back to heel. 

“Patience, darling,” Yoongi calls out to his pet. He taps his dagger against your cheek. “Any last requests?”

“Yeah, why don’t you kiss my ass, motherfucker?” you spit, feeling your left arm starting to slip. Shit, you really hate this part.

Yoongi sheaths his dagger as he roughly grips your face with one leather-gloved hand. “That can be arranged, if you’d like. I told you before, I am open to suggestions.”

“I suggest you go fuck yourself, you fucking cockwaffle!”

He barely blinks at your spite. “For a superhero, you have such a filthy mouth,” he murmurs, running a thumb over your bottom lip. “Want me to put it to good use one last time?”

“Whatever you’re about to say, just shove–“ 

“Always so vulgar,” Yoongi interrupts you smoothly, fingers still grasping your cheeks. He needs to divert your attention long enough for Taehyung to figure out the gears, or this is going to end very badly for him. Again. “It’s almost a shame that I have to get rid of you, pretty bird. We could have such fun together.”

Your shoulder loosens. Finally. 

“I highly fucking doubt that, you homicidal maniac.” But you recognize the glint in his eyes, and your swinging stops for a moment as you find yourself lost in it. 

“Come now. Your time is growing short. There’s no need to pretend with me. How long have we been fighting now? How many battles? I can read you so clearly, after all this time. I know you want to know.” He tilts his face, mouth close enough to yours that you can feel his warm breath on your lips. It’s enough to make you lose focus for a moment, chest hitching as soft fingertips ghost over your chin. 

The shift from cruel to gentle is whiplash-inducing. And strangely alluring. But you need to stay sharp. Concentrate. 

Distract him. 

“Know what?” you ask. Scarlet shimmers around him as he steps closer, hands cradling your head. “What could you possibly think you know about me?”

“I know that you’re frustrated.”

“Obviously!”

“I don’t mean with the current circumstances, pretty bird. I know you’re frustrated with the way your company just can’t seem to keep its hands on me.” The corner of his mouth curls in a self-satisfied smirk. “And you’re shouldering all that blame yourself, aren’t you? No matter how much you do for them, it’s just not enough, is it?”

You blink, trying not to show how rattled you are by his words. It’s like he can see directly into your mind. How the fuck does he do that? “You just think you know everything, don’t you?” 

Yoongi laughs, a low chuckle that tickles your cheek. He adjusts his grip, one hand on either side of your face, eyes darkening as they gaze into yours. 

“It’s true, pretty bird, that there is so much I know. So much that you’re not even aware of. But I will admit now, knowing you’ll take this secret to your grave, that there’s something I’ve always longed to know.”

Something he remembers, one very drunken evening, talking to someone else about. He also remembers the way the other man had glanced at him like he was mad. 

He always loathed that look. 

“What?” The question tumbles from your mouth before you can stop it. This is your chance - don’t let yourself get distracted now!

Focus. 

“What it would be like,” he whispers into your mouth, “if we….” 

One second, you’re both waiting, and then you’re both moving, crossing the space between you. The invisible line. 

The kiss is surprisingly tender. Yoongi moves delicately against your mouth, but the way you softly sigh and part your lips for him turns him feral, and soon you’re both gasping for air.

Yoongi breaks away first, shaking his head, trying to clear the fog of arousal that suddenly clouds his mind. The last thing he wants is Hobi mocking him for thinking with his dick again. 

He’s given him more than enough to laugh at over the years.

“Holy shit,” you pant, staring at him. “Did you… did you feel…?”

Yoongi nods, still hazy. He did feel something. Like sparks. Shooting up his arm. They’re still going, actually.

Oh, shit. Those fucking wonky power disrupters.

ZAP! 

Yoongi’s blasted off his feet. White beams crackle from the fingertips of the hand you’ve managed to free thanks to your dislocated shoulder. With a grin, you zap him again, hard enough to stun, and shake yourself free of the jacket. Another few zaps at your chains and you’re back on your feet just as Taehyung rushes through the door with a can of oil. 

“Found it, hyung!” he yells triumphantly, stopping short at the sight of Yoongi lying on the ground while you tower over him. “Oh. Shit.” 

The can goes flying as Taehyung hits the ground. Yoongi peers up at you blearily, still reeling from your attack. A halo of bright energy flows around your body as you gaze down at him, giving you an ethereal glow. His dazed mind thinks you look like an angel of death. A valkyrie, come to claim him at last.

He sighs as darkness steals him away. 

“Thank you for joining me today, hyungs. Sorry we couldn’t do this in my office, but it’s out of commission at the moment.” Jimin’s smile drips with charm as his holographic image flickers on Hobi’s console. 

“Still can’t get the blood stains out, huh?” Yoongi drawls through the speakers. He’d opted out of using Hobi’s holo-tech for today’s meeting. Typical analog Yoongi. Hobi leans back, letting his legs rest on the table in front of him in his command center. 

Jimin’s smile tightens at Yoongi’s question. “The rug’s just fine, thanks for asking, hyung. Anyway, I thought it was time to check in on your challenge and see how things are going. We should - will you please stop fiddling with that?”

The image of the handsome man in the three-piece suit stabilizes as he glares at someone out of view. “Sorry, Jimin-ssi,” a contrite voice apologizes.

“Hey Jungkook-ah,” Yoongi greets the younger man.

“Hi Yoongi-hyung!” Jungkook trills merrily from somewhere off-screen beside Jimin.

“Quit fucking with my tech, Jungkook-ah,” Hobi growls in lieu of pleasantries. 

“Sorry, Hobi-hyung!” 

Jimin pinches his nose. “If you’re done, Jungkook, I’d like to get back to my meeting now?” 

“Yeah, can we please get on with this?” Yoongi replies agitatedly. Hobi’s not sure what’s more irritating, Yoongi’s voice or the meeting itself. 

He drums his fingers on the console, itching to get this over with. Vitality’s been a thorn in his side since the day she debuted as the Bureau of Technology and Superheroes’s latest super do-gooder. He should be plotting his next move against her. Instead, he’s stuck in this meeting. His mind wanders to his last attempt to defeat her, when she’d literally flipped the balance and taken him down so swiftly. He can still feel the heat of her thighs squeezing him as she’d rolled them over.…

“Hobi-hyung?”

Several seconds pass before Hobi realizes that Jimin’s image is staring at him. “Fuck, sorry, what was that?”

“I asked if you agree.”

“Right. With…?”

“Jesus, will you stop playing with your gadgets and pay attention? Can’t you keep your hands off your toys for five fucking seconds?” Yoongi’s annoyed voice hisses over the comms. 

“Fuck off,” Hobi replies evenly. “I’m not playing with anything, I just drifted off while Jimin was nattering on.”

“Thanks, hyung,” Jimin’s smile finally slips from his face as he scowls into the holo-cam. “Anyway, if you’ll just pull up the Powerpoint presentation I emailed to you, we can continue.” 

Hobi raises a finger and Jin automatically loads the presentation on the main monitor of the command center. An image of Hobi and Yoongi glaring at each other fills the screen, along with the title “Dark Hobi vs Evil Yoongi: Progress Report.” 

“Oh god. Comic Sans? Really, Jimin?” 

Jimin ignores Hobi, clearing his throat officiously. “If you scroll to the first slide, you’ll see…” 

Jimin’s blathering fades into the background as Hobi swipes his finger in the air. Jin follows his movements, scrolling through the slides quickly. There are images of his last battle along with Yoongi’s in here. Each slide also contains Jimin's pompous commentary. Hobi rolls his eyes, flipping through faster. His friend is really milking this competition. 

Whatever keeps him out of Hobi’s hair is fine with him. 

Then he reaches the final slide. 

“What the fuck, Jimin?” 

Jimin breaks off, glancing into the holo-cam. “Hyung, what is it? I was in the middle of discussing - “

“I don’t care. You’re declaring Yoongi the winner so far?”

“Well, look at that.” Hobi’s eye twitches at how pleased Yoongi sounds.

“Hyung! Are you scrolling ahead?” Jimin’s hologram pouts. “You’re supposed to be following along with us. Do you have any idea how long it took me to put this together??”

“Two weeks,” Jungkook pipes up helpfully.

“KOOK-AH!” 

Hobi rubs his face. “Jimin-ah! I don’t care! I just don’t understand how you can say Yoongi’s in the lead. The winner’s the one who kills Vitality. Either she’s alive or she’s dead, there’s no in-between. So how can he be ahead if she’s still breathing?” 

“Well, hyung, if you had bothered to pay attention, I would’ve answered that for you on slide number 34, where I introduce the point system that I’ve - “

“Point system!” Hobi’s changed his mind. Jimin’s doing too much. “Are you serious? This is absolutely ridiculous, Jimin.” He rises to his feet and starts to pace, knowing the holo-cam will track the motion. “Powerpoint presentations and check-ins and now point systems? What a waste of time! I should be attacking Vitality right now!” 

“Excuse me? A waste of time?? How dare - “ 

“Then go.” 

Yoongi’s calm voice cuts into Jimin’s sputtering. He sounds completely unbothered.

Hobi stops pacing, peering into the cam as if it would show him Yoongi. “What did you say?” 

“I said, then go. Go fight Vitality again. No one cares what you do.” 

Red flashes across Hobi’s vision. “I wasn’t talking to you,” he seethes through his teeth, grinding them together. “I was talking to Jimin.” 

“On a conference call. So I’m here too, dipshit.” Yoongi’s voice is a little tighter now. He’s trying to maintain control. It only makes Hobi want to rip into him more. 

“I know you are, asshole, but I was clearly only addressing Jimin, so I don’t need to hear your opinion on the matter! So just shut the fuck up!” 

“Hyungs, can we please - “

“No, you shut the fuck up! Stop complaining and leave already, if this whole meeting is beneath you!” 

“There’s no need for the two of you - “

“I never said it was beneath me!“ 

“You didn’t have to say it, it was implied in your tone! It’s always implied in your tone, you always act like you’re superior to everyone else!” Yoongi’s yelling now, practically roaring over the comms. 

“I do not - “

“Yes you do! Look at the way you’re talking to Jimin! Fuck, look at the way you used to talk to me!”

“Fuck you!” Hobi slams his hands on the table. There’s a replying bang on the other end, like Yoongi’s also taking his anger out on something around him. “I never treated you badly! Never!” 

Jimin silently gazes into the holo-cam, eyes wide as he listens to both men panting. Hobi leans against the wall behind the table, head down as he closes his eyes. Yoongi’s fucking inferiority complex drove him crazy when they were together and it angers him even more now. He never understood how amazing he is. 

Was. How amazing he was. Now, he’s just another thorn in Hobi’s side. 

He really needs to do some pruning.

Jimin clears his throat again. “If the two of you are done…”

“Yeah. We’re done.” Yoongi spits. 

“Finished,” Hobi agrees with a sneer. “As is this conversation. Jimin, don’t waste another two weeks on more of this Powerpoint bullshit.” Jimin lets out a tiny ‘hey’ as Hobi raises his hand. “And don’t send me any more meeting invites. We’ll talk again when I’ve won.” He makes a fist, and Jin cuts the connection. Jimin’s hologram disappears. 

There’s a beat, and then Jin says, “So, that went well.”

“Shut it, Jin.” Hobi slums back into his chair. “Pull up the schematics for file #218. Let’s finalize this. I want to mobilize as soon as possible.” 

“Yes, sir.” Hobi appreciates the lack of pet names as his newest project loads on the monitor. Taking a deep breath, he forces his pulse to slow, trying his damnedest to push that meeting out of his thoughts. But no matter what he does, Yoongi’s mocking tone just keeps echoing in his ear. It’s still there two days later when Hobi boards his jet, on his way to enact his latest plan.

“No one cares what you do.”

He’ll fucking show him. Hobi’ll make Yoongi care, when he wins. Then he’ll make him pay.

Masterlist 💜 Find me on AO3 💜 

© 2022-23 by sunshinerainbowsbts/minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost.

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[reidmania]

hi!! i saw you taking request so here is an idea :)

fem!reader and spencer in an established relationship and they really love each other but they get into a fight. they both say things they dont mean so reader rushes out and while driving away she feels sorry and calls spencer but it goes to voicemail. she starts to send him one saying how sorry she is and that she loves him but is cut off with a loud crash. spencer gets the voicemail and hears about her car accident and rushes to hospital, you can end it however you want hahah. im sorry if this is too much but i feel like you are the only one who can do justice to this <33

guilt ridden | spencer reid

summary ; reader and spencer get into a silly argument that ends in hospital trips and a lot of apologises.

warnings; fem reader, established relationships, arguments, cm things, car accidents and hospitals, arguments, spencer being an ass and reader also being an ass which is all forgotten when things get serious, kinda rushed. angst, happish ending, hurt x comfort kindaish.

an; im sorry this took me so long and im sorry if its horrible. i really just wanted to get this one out of the way bc i rlly enjoyed the idea!!

“I’m sorry, I’ll be back in the morning at some point so I don’t want you to worry and I know you will probably be pissed right now and that okay— You should be. I am too, but I am sorry. I didn’t mean it — I shouldn’t have said it but it was just, in the moment I wasn’t thinking.. Im sorry Spence. I love—”

There was the sound of a gasp, then a bang and then it was silent for a minute until the voice message ended itself. The sound sent goosebumps along Spencer’s arms and sweat to build up over the back of his neck as anxiety made its bed in his stomach.

His entire body went cold as he stood in the kitchen — The same place he had been standing when the stupid argument took place before you grabbed your keys and walked out, muttering how if he was that sick of you, you’d get out of his way before the door slammed behind you.

He had thought about following you and telling you to stay but in the moment he was just angry. So angry. Not even entirely at you, just everything.

He had just gotten home from a case after being away for a week — a case where they couldn’t save the victims. It was one that affected Spencer more than he wanted to admit, all he wanted was to come home and shower.

Then he got home and you immediately hugged him and rambled on about how you missed him and normally — any other time he would adore the feeling of your arms around him, he would breathe in your scent and breath it back out before going on about the case.

This time was different, everything was too much. The grasp of your arms made his body tense rather than relax, your scent was suffocating mixed with the smell of the food on the stove and the candle lit in the living room. It was all just too much.

Not because it was you, there was nothing wrong with you. It was just the day built up, and it was too much for him.

So he pushed you away and began his way to the bedroom wordlessly, where he showered, and eventually came back a little more relaxed — only now you were the one in the bad mood.

Which ended in an argument between the two of you, you called him childish and immature, he called you suffocating and needy.

Neither of you meant it.

But that didn’t stop the hurt that seeped in and the tension that grew between the two of you. Until you were shaking your head telling him to go fuck himself, grabbing your keys and walking towards the front door.

Spencer regretted his words almost immediately when the door slammed shut and didn’t open again. He didn’t mean it but he couldn’t bring himself to follow you yet — he needed to calm down and he was sure you did as well.

He didn’t ignore your call, not on purpose. He was unpacking his stuff when his phone rang from where he had left it in the kitchen. Finding it ten minutes later to hear the voice mail you left, well he had never felt a more intense ache in his chest.

Something was wrong, seriously wrong. He tried calling again and again to no avail as the call went straight to voicemail every-time. He texted you as well.

He was in his car moments later, driving to the nearest hospital because if you were anywhere — it would be there. He heard the ambulance sirens on the way and they did nothing but build the tension in between his muscle and bones.

It wasn’t until an hour later of waiting and pacing around in the hospital waiting room that someone came to tell him that you were here — stable, but in a lot of pain.

He had never felt something like this. Every bit of his mind went blank as walked fast towards the room the nurse had directed him to. His knees felt like jelly and he felt sick to his stomach.

That sick didn’t compare to the one he felt when he saw you lying in the hospital bed, fading in and out of consciousness, a doctor by your side. You were bruised and bloodied and Spencer didn’t think he could stand for another minute as his legs carried him towards the chair next to your bed.

“Honey.” His voice came out a gasp.

But all the same concerned and guilty. Your head turned slightly towards the sound of his voice and he was almost sure his heart broke at the sound of pain that left your lips when moving.

“Spence” You were hardly audible, voice small and so quiet, full of hurt. Genuine pain, you were in genuine pain that you wouldn’t have been in if Spencer had just pulled his head in and didn’t act like an absolute idiot.

It was hard to think about the argument now, how it felt like everything at the time and nothing now. His hand reached out for yours as he tried to ignore the tears that burned in the back of his eyes.

“Im so sorry” He mumbled out. It didn’t even begin to describe the amount of guilt he felt burnt into his stomach, and every inch of his body. He felt sick to his stomach and was almost sure he was going to throw up. “Im so sorry- God Im sorry” He couldn’t help the series of apologies that streamed from his lips, still they didn’t even slightly cover the blame he took in his mind.

“Spence” You said again, almost as if you were unable to say or think about anything else. Despite the pain medication that you had been given — everything hurt.

“Im right here— Im right here.” He repeated, moving the chair in closer, he saw a soft sigh leave your lips despite it being so quiet he couldn’t hear it. He saw your eyes closed and for a moment he genuinely felt his heart break and drop, until they opened again.

You squeeze his hand slightly, it was soft and gentle, all the energy you could muster up put into doing so. “I know. Im sorry” You apologised and it hurt Spencer.

It genuinely made him feel pain in his stomach that you were lying in a hospital bed in an abundance of pain and yet — apologising to him for an argument that seemed so insignificant now.

“Don’t.” Spencer shook his head.

“Don’t apologise, I was an ass— I deserved it. you- You didn’t deserve this. God please don’t apologise.” He almost begged.

The words died on your tongue. Whatever you were going to say now a second thought as you realised Spencer was going to drive himself insane with the guilt and blame of this.

“Its not your fault.” You huffed out.

It was enough to sooth a small part of Spencer’s mind, your voice outweighing the one in his head that held him responsible. Your comfort the one he needed. His hand squeezed yours back.

“I love you — So much. You aren’t suffocating or needy in the slightest.” He felt the need to let you know. God if something happened to you and the last thing you’d heard him say was that he thought you were something— anything other than the most important person in his life and the one who he turned to for everything, the one person he truly loved and adored

Well he would never forgive himself

“I love you” You muttered back weekly, shuffling over on the hospital bed despite the pain that coursed through your body in doing so you made room for him. “Lay with me?” You asked.

He huffed something out before shaking his head, standing up and lowering himself onto the hospital bed. He was careful of your injuries and any pain you may be in as he wrapped his arms around you.

“I love you” He repeated as he placed a soft kiss on the corner of your shoulder. It made a sigh leave your lips, before turning your head to face him.

“I love you.”

[zorange13]

— love island, enhypen edition

— enha as islanders x afab reader (maknae line) | hyung line

so grateful for all of the love on the hyung line version. i love all of you and i hope you liked this one just as much. i suffered a bit of writer's block while writing this. but we persevere!!

warnings/content. suggestive content, sigh…i got carried away on like all of these, misunderstanding trope (it’s not that bad i promise), slowburn, i watched to all the boys i’ve loved before and ever after high while writing this (so healing), not much just love island stuff, no casa amor for riki’s tho (don’t hate me, i just didn’t think it was necessary)

not proofread, bro i gotta start doing that omg

word count. 6.3k

inspired by the aot edition written by @rynfiles !!

Jungwon 양정원

not the eldest (duh), he is kinda the dad out of the group

also an og

wins a lot of fans over by his cute, boyish looks (ofc)

and don’t let him smile, omg THE DIMPLES????? yeah.

also another that people go to for advice for

but somehow the girls there don’t go for him because he seems to be too cute

like, he’s one of the younger ones there and most of the girls preferred the older, more experienced guys

the girls took care of him and almost babied him

to which he would never reject the attention of beautiful women!! (duh) but he didn’t want pity

so it kinda balances out in a way

even though he is such a worrywart, he does in fact know how to have fun and enjoys cracking jokes, playing lil innocent pranks, and having lil dance parties

bc it’s not like yall have your phones 

anyways

you were not an og so…a bombshell lmao

and needless to say, you had such a huge wall up and didn’t know how to even handle men after your last relationship

you had been cheated on…baddd

and coming on this show was just something that you didn’t think much into but one day you auditioned and never looked back

the producers said something about you would make good tv

so why not?

you came in during week 3!!

at this point, won was coupled up with one of the og girls

but it wasn’t really going anywhere and that was ok!!

you came in, not really expecting much

but the great thing was that you were like the only girl that was jungwon’s age

so immediately his head was turnt

the prods did that dumb thing where they have you go on a date with all of the guys to see which one you like more

basically you sit at a table and the guys just kind of microwave their ways from the table to wherever they came from

but ngl…none of them were your type like

jake…hot asf but eh

sunoo…stunning but he was too cute

heeseung…just no lmao

jay…that’s just the bro ngl

riki…yes!! but oh…he’s too young for your liking

so nothing really stuck

UNTIL!!

mr. yang jungwon sat across from you

he was also very hot and very cute 

but still…you couldn’t show your cards yet like 

you had to be a lil mysterious

“hi y/n, im jungwon” he stuck his hand out waiting for your handshake, waiting to sit

to which you liked, all the other dudes just sat down and waved or kissed you on the cheek before they sat

none of them bothered you, it was just nice that jungwon wanted your respect first

the date was genuinely fun!!

you didn’t think that you and him would have that much in common

from what you saw before you came in, he was such a dad

he was the type to serve himself last when they made dinner

the type to make sure the girls put on their sunscreen before their makeup

just very considerate and selfless

almost too much at times

because then he’d find that his food would either be cold

or that he wouldn’t get the portion or piece he wanted

or when he wanted the girls to put on their sunblock, he’d forget to put his on

and would have to get aloe from one of their bags

you, however, did not gaf

you didn’t care to step on toes

you didn’t care to hurt feelings or set boundaries bc you’ve spent so long trying to make others in your life feel comfortable

why?? bc why would you watch everyone around you get what they want except for you? no. (real shit)

selfishness isn’t terrible all the time

so after the date with jungwon, you honestly did enjoy his presence

and vice versa for him so you ended up chatting a lot more

and you guys actually ended up bonding over his current need to people please

and where you lied now with that

“idk, i just feel like i should always look out for people. it’s just how i was raised.”

“yeah, that’s great but when do you ever get what you need? you can’t pour from an empty cup, you know?”

he frowned, not from sadness but it more so exhibited thought. “i guess i’ve never thought of it like that. i just like to feel useful…i feel like when everyone is good then so am i. 

you smiled faintly, “nothing’s wrong with that at all, won. but if it’s at the expense of your own happiness or skimming your wants and needs, then that’s a problem. i’ve been there.”

“really?” he said, genuinely curious. “what happened?”

now you’re kinda mad you even let yourself get this comfortable with him this fast

but this was a time where you had to let yourself be vulnerable

i mean you did sign up for a dating show like cmon

“well…” you sighed, “my last relationship ended about a year and a half ago, and it was pretty rocky. i just thought i was doing everything right, like i was rearranging my schedule to see him. i used to write down everything that he told me that was worth remembering in case i wanted to surprise him with a gift. i’d even bite my tongue when something upset me because i didn’t want to make him upset. now that i think of it, i felt like i was just trying to shrink myself into this little box of what i felt love was and what he wanted me to be or something. but i equated his love to my worth and then my worth to how useful i was to people.”

he let you express yourself but as you did, he slid his hand across the couch cushion where your hand was. though he hesitated, not knowing if you were comfortable

you saw this and decided to be bold and inch your hand forward as well

his ears perked up at the sensation but before he could get totally flustered he spoke up, “so what made you guys break up?”

you smiled bitterly, “he cheated,”

“that’s awful, i’m so sorry. truly, you didn’t deserve that.” anger, then sadness flickered in his eyes

“i know that now, but the best things that i learned was one: never love a man more than he loves me. then two: selfishness and self-preservation isn’t so bad.”

“this is pretty hard for me to hear, but also i think i needed to hear it”

you scooted a little closer to him, “well, you have a cute girl sitting right here with more than enough selfishness to spare. maybe some of it will rub off on you.”

that had to be one of the most cathartic conversations you’ve both had

but from there, he actually started to do for himself more

he wouldn’t wait for everyone to get their food first

he made sure to put his sunblock on 

and now the only other thing that he wanted to worry about now was you

bringing you breakfast, water, making you food when you were hungry in the middle of day, massaging you when you slept funny

in turn, ironically enough you started to do more for the friends you’ve made

you did more favors, said yes but only because you wanted to

you both brought out great things in the each other and it showed

you came in very guarded

but now you were like a butterfly, wearing brighter colors, your natural hair, you didn’t put on as much makeup as before, you laughed more than you have in a long time

all of those things were amazing, putting effort into yourself and looking nice

but you started to feel like your old self and you were gonna embrace for now

you spent more time doing the other girl’s hair and makeup and that was the most fun!!

you and jake’s girl developed a close friendship too!!

when casa came, you also left him a note!!

“ok so i totally left but it’s only for a little bit, i promise!! take care of yourself while i’m out, ok? please promise me, i know i’m not actually there to see you make the promise but i trust you did lmao. don’t miss me too much, or do, because i’ll definitely be missing you. you’re my won and only. love, y/n”

his heart BURST

especially at that last part, so creative it wasn’t like he’s heard that one before

he holds up at casa

still, he’s just being himself

there was one girl in particular that was very into him

she didn’t come on too strong…

i lied i'm sorry she did

but he kept it respectful though!!

you know…arms length

he did genuinely like you and just wasn’t feeling it with the casa girl

he told her, literally right after rejecting her with a smile, “you’re a beautiful girl but my connection is depending on me and i’m doing the same with her. i just wanna make sure i’m doing what’s best for me and her.”

very cut and dry, straight to the point!!

until it wasn’t????

over at the villa, the girls received that godforsaken video of what the boys have been up to

all of the girls were in shock and jaws agape at what they were seeing

when it got to jungwon, all you saw was him and the girl sitting down one of the couches

that wasn’t pleasant to see but whatever

then he sat there, marvelous dimples on display and said, “you’re a beautiful girl, i just wanna make sure i’m doing what’s best for me…”

you were not only, confused but totally shocked

fans hateddd that the prods tried to sabotage like that!!

you’ve made it clear to him what you’ve been through and this was a little more than hurtful

the whole environment was a damn mess like 

some of the girls were crying because their guys weren’t acting right, others were confused

the casa boys tried to help and support the girls but like ew get away we don’t know you wtf

when jungwon came back, you tried to give him the benefit of the doubt

but you were just so withdrawn

at the recoupling he didn’t bring anyone back which surprised you

when asked how you felt about it, you didn’t really have an answer

as days passed and you kept looking at jungwon, it was a reminder of the person you were a year and a half ago

he was tired of it and finally sat you down

“you were flirting with her, won” 

“what?” his brows furrowed, he looked at you like you just said the most ridiculous thing in the world

“you said something about the girl being beautiful and that you’re gonna do what’s best for you.” rolled your eyes

he shook his head in disbelief, as in he was genuinely confused. “i never said that, wait no. i said that but that wasn’t what i said.”

after grabbing your given phone, seeing as you’re the one who it was sent to (conveniently), you both watched the video and jungwon legit burst out laughing

“ok, so they totally twisted the entire thing. what i said was something along the lines of—”

you cut him off, avoiding his eyes. “don’t lie, bro. if you liked the girl then that’s—”

“i don’t even know her! if i liked her i would’ve brought her back.”

“ok so if that was the case then what about me? what if you did like her then what was i supposed to do?”

“you know that’s not fair…”

you leaned back into the chair and huffed, folding your arms. “what did you say?”

“i said that our connection is strong and i want to do what’s best for me and you. i rejected her, i said i didn’t want her.”

you frowned, “i don’t believe you”

he knew you had trust issues, and understandably so. but with that all he could do was sigh, “i get it, you don’t trust me right now and i don’t blame you. that video was crazy but i swear to you—i never even considered her.”

you stayed quiet, folding your arms

he leaned forward, trying to bridge the gap

“what i said was, ‘i’m trying to do what's best for me and her.’ as in, us.” he gestured between you two

“so why even say that? why was it even twisted?”

“because i wanted to make it clear that i wasn’t wavering.” his tone soft, yet firm. “i wanted het to know she didn’t even have a chance. i was..i was hoping that you’d believe enough in me to see that.”

“it’s not just about believing you, won. it’s about what i saw with my eyes and heard with my ears. and it just reminded me of the shit that i wanted to leave behind.”

he leaned back with a sigh, “i didn’t come back to fight with you. i came back because i chose you. and i will keep choosing you, but you gotta trust me.”

“ok”

“ok?” he reached over to you to pull you in for a hug

but you stopped him before he could, “ok. just don’t let anything like this happen again. seriously.”

he nodded, “i promised and i’m gonna keep myself to it. i’m all in with you, baby and i will always choose you.” and you guys shared a gentle kiss

spoiler alert: he kept his promise!!

final 4!!

your last date was a picnic in a hidden garden, with fairy lights, a starry night, with a beautiful guitarist there to play cute mood music

his final speech: “when i came into this, i was so focused on making everyone happy that i lost sight of what really mattered. but with you, i learned that taking care of myself isn't selfish—it’s necessary. and you… you’ve shown me that it’s okay to do things for others, to give more than i ever thought i could. i know trust hasn't come easy for you. you’ve had to fight for it, and i’ve seen that. but i want you to know, the trust we’ve built, it means everything to me. it's not just about what we say; it’s what we’ve shown each other, day by day, that proves we’ve got something real. i don’t want to pretend i’ve got everything figured out, but i do know one thing: i’ve never felt this way before. and i want to keep building with you—slowly, carefully, but always toward something more.”

even though won was so beloved, you were the favorite between you both!!

“seeing her grow has been everythinggg” “they are so black cat and golden retriever” “love a good he fell first and harderrr” “these are my winners idc”

the prods hated that you guys were so loved

Sunoo 김선우

lowkey can see him as the host LMAOO

like he would be asking all the burning questions 

instigating

rolling his eyes at all the dumbasses in the villa

but as a contestant

he’d be a bombshell

i just see him being so sweet (i mean he alr is from my assumptions)

he gives me the couple that partners up like day one and stays solid through the rest of the show

everything about him is just very lighthearted like he’s just there to have fun!!

but when he sees you he’d know that he’d want you

this might sound crazy but just looking at all the other girls repulses him (love them tho!)

he makes it clear that he’s into you and honestly it kinda makes you…teehee

as he continues his journey in the villa he’s adopted as the sweetheart™

everyone goes to him when they wanna vent and just need a listening ear. 

another fan favorite: “bro where did they find this man” “OMGG a man that doesn’t play games and is actually not a literal pos ?/??//?? no way” “i need a man like sunoo in ways that are concerning to mankind”

you and him were talking at the beanbags one day and you were asking him why he seemed like he was too good to be true

“you just slept a lot”

“what does that mean?”

“because i’m the man of your dreams, so you like…manifested me”

you laughed, “shut up” you threw a loose pillow at his head

y’all would be like the boring couple

like gtfoh no one wants to see you two being IN LOVE

WE WANT DRAMA

it’s weird tho bc even tho y’all have been so solid, america kinda doesn’t believe you two

kinda like kendall and nicole like it just felt artificial

you would take losing challenges kinda hard because you were competitive 

sunoo, however, didn’t care but he cared because you did, they were just dumb challenges

were y’all in it for the money or…?

but there was genuine love between you two and it was weird when y’all were voted the fakest girl and guy

it just didn’t make sense, but maybe it was the editing of the show?

til this day you’re like 90% sure the prods sabotaged but it’s ok!!

he just looked at you with so much admiration

he’d help you with your hair if you needed it (only in the event that you were the last girl to get ready or if you were just moving extra slow)

he brought your breakfast like clockwork

he was there if you needed literally anything like it’s insane

when you girls had to leave for casa he was heartbroken

but fortunately, you did leave a note for him!!

“hi baby!! a part of me feels like you’re gonna be hurt  to read this but still we all had to go. i can’t wait to get back to you so we can catch up, i know it’s only gonna be a few days but you know how that feels like forever here. but still, all i’m gonna say is don’t be weird, use your best judgment, and make sure no one bugs out if you can help it. i’ll do the same. i left you a little keepsake, i’ll see you when i get back, precious!”

it’s so bittersweet because he loves the note and it’s like he can hear your voice as he reads it

but that’s the problem, he wishes you were actually here

but he looks across your vanity to see you left him his favorite perfume of yours in a sample just for him

would spray it on him and even spray it on the bed

when the casa girls came he was nice 

it made him sick to his stomach to see another girl sitting at your spot on the vanity table but he knew it was temporary (unless she was picked)

he kept it cute

unfortunately some of the other guys didn’t so he knew recoupling was gonna be a bloodbath

heeseung acting like an asshole

jake doing God knows what

sunoo kinda hated everything that came with love island

you, alongside the friends that he’s made, were the only truly enjoyable things that came with the experience

the useless drama gave him migraines

you ended up coming back with no one and he did the same

it was a happy night for you two 

he hated seeing the girls upset, as did you

but y’all were lowkey eating up the drama lmao

you guys didn’t make it to the final 4

you guys just barely made it in the votes

like out of the final 4, you guys were like 5th

tears

straight EMOTIONAL TEARS 

the couples that were left didn’t want to see you guys go

you guys were beloved still by fans

fans didn’t believe in you guys  until this moment

they were kinda sad that they didn’t bet on you guys earlier 

but you and sunoo didn’t gaf about the money or clout that you gonna get after

all that you needed were each other

Riki 西村力

he auditioned as a joke lmao

he was not betting on making it but when he got the email that was gonna be a contestant, he was shocked

but again, he’s young and turnt so why not

yolo yk?

riki was the youngest boy in the villa (og)

in general he wasn’t that experienced

he’s only ever had one girlfriend in comparison to the others

it didn’t take much for him to realize that

the girls that came in were all older than him and going for the older guys

but it didn’t take a blow at his pride

personally, he doesn’t find the appeal in women that were so much older

like they’re paying bills and he just graduated like

they have nothing in common

but as a person, he got comfortable with the other islanders very quickly and learned a lot about what women do and don’t like from the older sisters in the villa (kinda like bergie from s5)

“yes, riki, you have to flirt. pursue, you’re a man now. most girls will only take initiative to a certain extent, the rest is on you.”

“i know but…how?”

just asking questions, figuring things out blah blah

his relationship with the guys is still very much younger brother

they also give him advice on girls

it’s terrible but he makes note of it so he knows what to and what not to do

he plays stupid pranks on everyone to kill time

but after a while it gets boring when he sees everyone paired off and he’s kinda just…there

but never fear!!

he’s surprised the prods actually like him enough to send him a girl his age

well actually it wasn’t the prods it was the fans that begged for him to have someone (not like he knew that)

“he’s so young, y’all are dead wrong for not having girls his age” “poor riki :( he’s so lonely” “love island plz cast me”

when you walked in, of course he knew you were stunning

i mean, look at you!! just his type

so naturally, all of the islanders were interrogating you at the firepit

“so, y/n, what’s your type?”

you smiled, a little flustered but expecting it. “tall, funny, i like them slim, but like muscular? so i’d say lean?? yeah, lean is the right word. also funny, exciting! i never like to be bored.”

everyone laughed, “well you don’t have to worry about that here, trust.” [sunoo’s girl] said

“i know, i’ve been watching y’all” you say with a playful lilt

heeseung tilts his head, “really? so, who do you have your eyes on right now?” 

what a flirt i stg

you smiled, “not you”

to which that elicited a few laughs from the others, as well as him. “no seriously, anyone here catch your eye?”

you look to the boy sitting a few people down from you, “him”

he was dazed, half listening, and staring blankly at the wooden deck beneath his feet

the only thing that caught his attention was the fact that everyone was looking at him and that you called him out

“me?” he said, with some excitement

you nodded reciprocating, “yeah!”

jake intervened, “wait, how old are you?”

“riki’s age”

the islanders, sans you and riki, all ooooh’d and ahhhh’d 

[jake’s girl] grabbed your arm, locking hers with yours. “that’s so cute, well, we’ll leave you guys to it. you know, gotta give them space.” she looked around at everyone else with wide, indicative eyes. 

they all took hints and left, leaving you two just sitting there awkwardly

and i can’t say that y’all eventually found a groove because…you didn’t

it was so painfully awkward

it’s like all of those things that the girls spoke to him about just…left

but also when he would bring up things to talk about or would ask to see if you shared any interests, nothing clicked

“so do you like music?”

you smiled, “yeah…well who doesn’t like music?”

and vice versa

“do you like to watch tv?”

“of course,”

“cool! do you like anime?”

your shoulders slump, “i’ve tried to watch it, but i can’t seem to get into it. i watched the first season of hunterxhunter and—”

he laughed, “that’s because it’s hxh, that show is…strange. you gotta watch shit like death note, naruto–”

you groaned, “bro that show is mad long”

“you just need to skip all the filler episodes”

you stared at him blankly, “if i need a whole strategy guide to get through it, i’m not watching it”

“it’s a classic!”

wait…i take it back

there was SOMETHING

but somehow even after all of that he couldn’t get any further than just physical attraction

like he knew you were gorgeous but something about you felt dull

like there was nothing you guys had in common

a few days passed, but nothing. 

and you both tried so hard

riki felt so attracted to you, i’ve said it before and i’ll keep saying it

however, nothing stuck and it was really disappointing

you felt similarly so you were on the same page

however, you still didn’t see the appeal in dating anyone so much older

so in some way, riki was like all you had

and you hated the idea of using someone for convenience or obligation

you wanted to want him and for it to be real

in a confession, riki says, “it sounds so shallow to say this but, she checks off all of my boxes. stunning, 10/10. but i feel like nothing’s landing with us, you know? i want to get to know her but i feel like we’re just forcing it. and i don’t want her to feel like she has to settle for me either.”

fans felt him, but still just wanted you guys to work because they saw the potential!!

“but they look so good together!!” “a part of me is sad that there’s nothing there, but another part is kinda glad that riki is getting a taste of what love island and dating is like. it’s good for him.” 

so one night, you guys sat down and things finally came to a head

you guys were alone, all the other islanders kinda scattered throughout the villa and the yard space

“i’m just gonna be honest because i feel like you deserve that.”

he nodded curtly, waiting for you to finish, already anticipating what was coming

“i just don’t think this is working—and it’s not you! i just feel like we’re trying too hard. like you’re everything and more. funny, you’ve been really nice, you’re attractive, but i just feel like we’re missing something.”

there was a beat of silent but then his shoulders settled 

riki smiles, “it’s ok, i’ve been feeling the same way,”

your eyes bulged, “wait you too! omg, this sounds terrible but i’m so relieved wtf.” 

you both shared a laugh

you were both glad that the pressure to perform for one another was alleviated 

since then, things have been ok!!

you did couple up with each other 

mainly for the convenience, and you liked each other enough to not want the other to leave

you guys are hilarious and are sort of the comedic duo of the villa

you guys are kids in comparison to rest so…very childish

but not in an annoying way!!

sort of like spongebob and patrick

ok they’re annoying…

but THEY ARE FUNNY

you both express these feelings in confessionals:

riki: “since we talked about it, it feels different…like in a good way! there’s no pressure and we just vibe now, and i’d like to get to know her for real this time. i feel like i only know her on a friend level, which is nice. i want a friend first you know?”

you: “ok, so why is riki actually funny…? i’m honestly not sure how i missed all of those things the first time around. i feel like i was trying too hard to see if we’d work out and it’s made me miss all of the things that make him fun to be around.”

nonetheless the fans ate up yalls dynamic

but they were still skeptical like…

“...are we sure they’re just not too comfortable? i mean like i love their vibe but WE NEEDD THE ROMANCE” “my besties to lovers slowburn senses are tingling…” “i feel like they’re gonna realize they’re perfect for each other after all omggg”

the islanders couldn’t STAND yall omg

sabotaging challenges

messing up relay races

“you guys gotta stop plotting against us during these challenges” jake groaned as he wrung out his soaked tank top

“it’s just strategy, jakey” you and riki high five, as you then double over laughing

to which he watches you with a smile

but eventually…cracks started to show

when the nights were extra breezy and your dress didn’t cover you up that well, he gave you his jacket

he brought you breakfast every day and made sure jay didn’t put too much or too little of anything in or on whatever you wanted to eat

the way your smile lingered a little too long when he was teasing you

but of course, there’s cameras and fans see it!!

“bro they’re literally falling in love rn and they DONT EVEN KNOW IT” “this feels like the friends to lovers arc i didn’t know i needed” “riki’s smile when she was laughing???? yeah he’s gone”

and don’t kill me

but riki didn’t even peep his feelings until the godforsaken heart rate challenge

you dressed up as a referee: black and white striped crop top, low rise shorts, knee length socks, some cute converse, and of course a whistle

nothing too scandalous!!

you guys are young so no one is expecting a lot from either of you. it’s weird almost, you guys are like the little brother and sister to everyone

so you didn’t do anything extreme, just some funny one-liners.

until you got to riki…

saving the best for last, you sauntered toward him

the boys ooooo’d and playfully punched him; just guy stuff. gross. 

anyways!!!

you flung the string of you whistle around his neck and pulled him closer to you as you got on your knees in front of him

and said, “i think you’re my biggest rule breaker,”

not only were you pulling him physically, you were pulling him in every other way possible

his eyes physically couldn’t leave yours

his heart was beating out of his chest and you hadn’t even really touched him

you pulled him in with your laugh

you pulled him in with your silly little remarks and jabs

and now you were pulling him in with this cheap ass whistle

he smiles, as awestruck as can be, “what rule did i break?”

“you stole my heart”

you’ve never been this bold before

but you did pull him closer, whistle string still around his neck and now his eyes low. almost intoxicated by you

“and you got mine”

wait you didn’t think he’d respond RIGHT THERE ??? WAIT

luckily no one else heard exactly what he said

but you’re like 80% y’alls mics picked it up

STILL so corny, so cheesy, but oh so true

you ended up racing his heart the most!! (duh)

after everything, you guys ended up debriefing…

you guys sat down at the dock and sort of were reliving the chaos that just left you both

then when it got to you, “oh i didn’t know you even had that in you” he lightly hit your knee

you grabbed his hand as you laughed, completely oblivious to the tingling feeling in your stomach

“me neither! i mean it was crazy!! i’ve never been stared at for so long before”

“it was well deserved, especially what your ass put me through!”

you kinda gagged at that, some idiotic part of you was hoping that he just forgot or MAYBE wouldn’t mention it. thus, you ignored what he said and hoped he wouldn’t repeat it.

if you ignore it, it will go away

“do you really think i stole your heart?” he asked

“don’t bring that up! i was just trying to win the game”

he sucked his teeth, rolling his eyes, “shut up! you meant that shit, and i meant what i said too”

you looked around, “you’re serious?”

he nodded, reaching for your hand. “as a heart attack.”

your breath caught for a moment, and you weren’t sure what to say

your relationship with riki had been so playful and friendly (as far as you know it) for as long as you met him

yes, you meant what you said in the challenge but there really isn’t much you guys had in common.

i mean, you guys tried to find commonalities and things to bond over and it didn’t go anywhere

“that’s great, riki. but i just don’t want this to end up like how it was before. like it was so awkward and weird and i don’t want this to ruin us.”

his thumb brushed against your hand, sending sparks through it, “believe me, i know,” he snickered. “but this feels different now though, doesn’t it? i think so.”

you leaned back in thought, “it does, i…like the way this feels. but what if we mess this up again? what if we get—i just don’t want us to not be us again.”

he scoots a little closer to you, your legs now touching. his grabs your leg and placed it over his lap. “then let’s keep it simple,” 

you were a little startled by the intimacy but you maintained your cool when you saw that knowing, gentle smile play on his lips. “simple?”

“yeah,” his hand rested lightly on your shin. “think about it, we tried to be romantic without even knowing each other. now, i know you. i know you more than anyone i’ve known ever. even all 20 of your favorite colors. your favorite rom-coms, i even know your skincare routine in order.” he laughed, “at this point, nothing can bring us back to that.”

“and if it does?” you asked softly, eyes now meeting his own.

his hand slowly moved up and down your shin. “then break my heart. break it into a million pieces.” 

your ears perked up, “wait–you watched–you’re so lame! you watched to all the boys and didn’t even—”

he laughed, “shut up,” before he rested his hand on your cheeks and pulled you into the sweetest kiss you’d ever imagined

maybe being with riki didn’t seem so impossible after all

fans loved you guys!!

“i just love the childlike innocence that they bring to the sluttery of his show” “just a breath of fresh air honestly” “THE SLOW BURN BURNED I TOLD YALL” 

y’all made it to the final 4!!

the final date was something simple; honestly you both appreciated something chill in contrary to the hooliganism that you guys underwent everyday

the prods set up a stunning outdoor setup: a cozy blanket laid out in the middle of a private field with fairy lights strung on nearby trees, a telescope angled at the sky, and a basket of their favorite snacks.

ooh! and there was a special smores kit right next to card decks. 

playing cards, uno (you both avoided that one; no need to start arguing on a date), truth or dare

but his final speech, brace yourself:

“coming into this, i didn’t think i’d get attached to anyone. i thought it’d be fun, a chance to just...be myself and enjoy the ride. and for a while, it was just that. but then,” he paused, looking directly at you “you came along. and everything changed. at first, i thought we couldn’t be more different. we didn’t even make sense on paper, like literally the only thing that we had in common was our age. but then you started pulling me in—in every way possible. your laugh, your little comments, the way you carried yourself. i was hooked before i even realized it. and yeah, it wasn’t perfect, we had our awkward moments. but every time, we found our way back to something real. something i didn’t know i needed until it was right in front of me. i know i joke around a lot, but when i think about what you’ve given me—your time, your patience, your trust—it’s not something i take lightly. you’ve made me want to be better, not just for you, but for myself. so, if i’ve learned anything from this experience, it’s that love isn’t about finding someone who fits into your life perfectly or someone who likes everything you do. it’s about finding someone who just gets you and someone you’re willing to do things for. all because they’re worth it— and you’re so, so worth it. every awkward moment, every stupid rom-com i watched secretly because i knew you liked it, every marshmallow i burned trying to impress you. all of it. so, whether we win or not tonight, i already know what i’ve gained. you’re my best friend, now lover. you’re my world now, i love you, and i’ll do whatever i need to, to make sure that you’re reminded of it everyday.”

we all know who ended up winning

but still you guys are so beloved 

and you even brought a younger audience to love island!!

granted you guys are so happy and get a ton of opportunities now

you’re a brand ambassador for your favorite clothing brand

riki and you also have your own brand deals together and those photoshoots are so much fun!!

you guys also stream and crash out over cod and fortnite together

couples that crash out together, stay together <3

Copyright: © zorange13. 2024. All rights reserved. Do not repost, copy, or distribute without permission.

taglist: @brxght-world @aruumyne @cara9065

[tan1shere]

Are We Still Friends

Billie Eilish x female reader !

A/n: thought I'd do some angst again cuz im in the mood for it turday - I don't know if there's a happy ending tho... SORRY !

Summary: she didn't mean to hurt you, never wanted to. But she ended up doing so. Badly and unfixable.

Warnings: ANGST ! No happy ending, idk if there's anything else ?? Get tissues babes

Masterlist

She wasn't herself recently and it worried you, knowing her past. But it wasn't exactly like that. You began to think that at first when she started isolating from you. But then you saw how cold she had gotten. You started to wonder if it was you, who had upset her. But you've never done anything except love her. She had been out all day, like she has been alot recently. You understood because she has to work ofcourse, but it was always later in the evening when she got home.

You two were seated for some dinner, things being silent like usual. You watch her mess around with the food, not making eye contact with you. "So, how was your day?" She shrugs. "It was alright." She replies. Her tone dry as anything. Your heart picks up in speed, not liking this side of her. It was not only worrying but frightening you. What had you done, what had anyone done to upset her this much?

Whenever you'd ask if she was ok, you'd just get a hum in reply. But it was far from reassuring your concern for her currently. So you ask her properly tonight, usually leaving it be whenever she'd hum. "Baby are you sure you're ok, you've just been so off recently." Her eyes look up at you slightly for a second, then immediately back at her food. "I'm fine." You're surprised by the full answer. "Are you s-" "I said. I'm fine." Your heart sinks at the way she talked to you, was she angry?

"Oh, ok." You slowly grab your plate, going to put it in the sink without another word. That is, until she speaks up. "I'm sorry." She sighs. But you just think it's best to leave her right now, heading up to your bedroom. "Baby." She says timidly, still holding a slight anger in her voice. You knew something was clearly going on, and all you wanted was for her to talk to you. Or atleast figure out what was happening. Is She tired? Did you say or do something? Or maybe you hadn't said or did something.

It was eating at you, stressing you out. All you wanted was for your true love to be ok. It's all you've ever wanted. You couldn't work properly, it invading your mind like a bad smell. All you wanted was to get home and sleep, especially with her. But that also died down along with her happy vibe. No cuddles at all, you felt unlovable. Her mood was killing your own, and causing all your friends to notice. But that was the thing. She seemed to be semi ok with them, still having a tense tone.

But actually making an effort to talk. Maybe it was you, maybe you weren't as interesting anymore. Maybe she'd grown from you, was she getting over you? Night time rolls around after a long, long day. You get into bed, her not long after. Immediately going to get some sleep. "Night baby." You said, softly. "Night." Again, dry. Desert dry. You sigh, turning over on your side. Facing her but closing your eyes. You hadn't noticed, but she was looking at you. The guiltiest look on her face.

A few weeks past and nothings changed. She's still in the same exact mood. It made you wonder if it will always be like this. You were at work currently, going to scroll on your phone while on your break. You lean back in your chair observing. When you see a particular photo. One that made your heart sink. You look at it carefully. But you didn't want to, you wanted to puke. It was Billie, she was kissing another girl. You were trying to rack your brain on when and where this happened.

The caption said "Billie with - some girl." Your brows furrow. Her fans knew about you, you didn't know exactly how well but when you opened the comments it was clear.

'That doesn't look like Y/n'

'Did Billie cheat'

'That isn't her girlfriend'

'Who is she kissing'

You had the exact same thoughts, except there was more of them. Flooding your mind. "Who is she." "Whyd she do this." How could she, you really didn't want to believe it. She would never. Your heart sinks further realizing that it was you. But at the same time it wasn't. She cheated on you. You were still in pure shock, deciding to go home early.

You doubted she had even seen the photo, she hardly ever went on her phone these days. But then that got you thinking, the only time she did was at night. But she'd only go onto text messages, you know. Because her phone would constantly ding. You figured it would be Finn, or a family member. Or even another friend. But now you were starting to think otherwise. You plop down on your bed when you finally get home. Staring at the ceiling.

You thought it over long and hard, and you were picking between confronting her and getting it over with or letting her come clean. But it's been so long you worry she wouldn't. Did she care? But you couldn't bear it, the thought of loosing her. And if you confront her that would be the result. You just hoped deep down she'd come clean and you could try working this out. Right?

The door opens hours later, you see her placing her phone down on the nightstand. "Hey, what're you doing back early?" She asks. "Didn't feel too great at work today." You reply, turning over. "Oh, sorry." You knew she said that to be somewhat sympathetic, but in a way it's as if she was apologizing for more. You shrug slightly, just wanting to take another nap. "Me and Finn finally got done with something we had been struggling on for months." She says a tad bit happier than she had been.

You nod. "That's good, Bills." Now it was your turn to be dry, she wanted to leave you be. Noticing your mood. Going down to the living room. You look over at her phone that she had left, considering looking at it. Was that wrong.. you don't even know if you can trust her after the photo, you were almost certain you'd find what you really hoped not to find on there. When it dings. You just had to, reaching over to grab it.

She hadn't changed her password. Did she think shed get away with it or something? Did she want to just pretend it never happened? All these new questions in your head overflowing. You go to the message and it was from a girl, that girl who was feeling her up at a party way back. You knew Billie didn't like her and found her to be very annoying. What changed? Billie was always a kind person to everyone, never mean to anyone's face. Especially considering this girl was friends with some mutual friends.

But not that friendly. You felt your eyes water, thinking of what to do. You read more of the messages. Reading one of Billies saying to leave her alone in the end. Did she regret it? Why hadn't she told you if so. You bite your bottom lip, feeling the tears pour. 2 years wasted. Down the drain. That was all you could think now. How much of a waste this whole thing was. Slight anger rises in you. Not much because you never got angry, but this. This was the thing to be mad about.

You walk downstairs, little scared for what's about to come. She was sitting on the sofa, when you let her phone fall into her lap. Her head looks up at you, confused as anything. Her eyes move to her phone seeing what was on it. Her head instantly looks at you again, noticing the tears. "Baby-" "Don't. Baby me. You don't have any right to call me that. When you've hardly been doing such for a few months. Why start now." She was stunned to say the least. Even though she shouldn't be, she knew you'd find out eventually. But she honestly hoped it'd fade away and that you wouldn't have to.

"Please let me-" "Explain?" You finish. "Theres nothing to explain. You've been talking to this girl for God knows how long. Kissed her!" She didn't realize you knew that. "How'd.." You scoff slightly. "When your famous Billie. Cameras never leave you. I saw on one of your fans accounts." She sighs, cursing to herself. Now she really felt guilty. She had been this whole time and wanted to tell you. She just never knew how and decided to forget it all. "It was a mistake." You chuckle. "Yeah, a massive fucking one." Her hands go to grab your shoulders as she quickly gets up.

You push her back. "No Billie, don't touch me. Please." The Please breaks her, she finally felt everything. All that she had been ignoring and pushing down until she didn't feel as guilty. That was truly pointless now. "Ba- Y/n. Just let me tell you what really happened." You shake your head. "How am I suppose to trust you. You've been lying to me this whole time." She nods. "I know I know, I don't know why I didn't just tell you. I should've." - "You're a liar. You're a fucking cheat." You go to leave the room. But she goes after you.

"Let me talk, please." You turn to look at her. "What's there to say? That it was an accident. You had been drinking, she came onto you. And that you were intoxicated so you obviously couldn't stop her. Did I miss anything?" She looks at you, that was half true. "Just let me-" "No, save it. Because if it's remotely close to what I just said I don't want to hear it." You go over to the closet. "I had been drinking, and no that's no excuse. I was trying to get away from her. I promise." Your tears come back. That promise was broken to you.

"I have no excuse for what I did. And I should've told you but I didn't, because I was trying to protect you. I didn't want to hurt you especially with how work had got you. I couldn't, I decided to when things eased. Then it started weighing on me. I felt miserable because it was all I was thinking of. The fact I hurt you, the second she kissed me." You grab a suitcase as she waffles on. Her eyes filled with worry. "You have to believe me, I know you won't but please. Please." It had been forever since you heard any emotion in her voice. And now it was need, desperation. "I cant stop you." You say sadly.

She looks at you confused. "I don't like her at all." You shrug again. "I don't know what to believe at this point." You pack a few things, starting to fully sob now, feeling shakey. She comes over going to gently touch your arm. "N-no." You attempt to move her. "Stop." But she now cries ever so slightly, bringing you into a hug. You wanted none of it. But with your weak state, your pathetic hits to her chest were doing nothing. You did need comfort right now but she was the last person you wanted it from.

When you muster up some courage you push her away. Scurrying with the suitcase down the stairs. You needed to get away. You had to.

"Are we still friends?.."

You don't say another word, knowing you both knew the answer to her question. It was the end you just couldn't keep doing this anymore. You didn't want to hurt. This was the only option for now. Closing the front door...

Maybe thats the sign it just wasn't meant to be.

Can't say goodbye..

Can't say goodbye.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey, sex batman! i recently found out that im like, super into hurting people. like, Super into hurting people in a sexual context. does that make me, like, a bad person?

hi anon,

I'm not really interested in declaring who is and isn't a bad person, because I'm not a cop. let's work with something a little more actionable, like "what impact are my actions having on others?"

now, broadly speaking, many people would hear "I like to hurt people" and have the knee jerk reaction that that's bad a scary. but let's pump the breaks and consider nuance and context.

you know who loves to hurt people? my tattoo artist. she punctures my skin, makes me bleed, and causes permanent damage to my body, and she takes great pride in her work. I don't know if you've ever gotten a tattoo, but your body does very much react like you've been hurt, because you have. it doesn't matter that I sought out the pain and willingly paid for it; I was very much injured.

so does that make my tattoo artist a bad person? most people would say no, because she's only hurting people who ask her to do so and are aware of the risks, sober, and of legal age to consent to body modifications. she also follows appropriate guidelines to make sure that while she is hurting me she's doing it as safely as possible, minimizing the risk of infection or other complications that would cause me unnecessary pain or make my healing more difficult.

so we can agree that under these circumstances my tattoo isn't a terrible pervert unfit for society, right? she's a person doing something she likes to people who eagerly seek her out for exactly that purpose.

okay, now let's look at you. you want to hurt people sexy style. that alone is a neutral thing; desires are neither good or bad. thought crime isn't real. but if you want to enact this with real people, what's your move? are you planning to find people who want to be hurt sexy style (an abundant population, I assure you) and talking out the ways in which you could hurt them that would be pleasurable and fun for everyone involved? or are you going to hide in the bushes and assault people like a villain of the week on SVU?

only one of those is bad, in my book, because only one of those options involves victimizing another person and taking away their ability to consent to having sex with you.

so idk dude, I don't really believe many, if any, people are just fully irretrievably Bad. but a lot of people treat others badly. you can't really make that call based on sexual proclivities! there are people who use kink as an excuse to be shitheads the same as there are real assholes who only have married missionary sex with the lights off every other Wednesday. the only deciding factor is how you treat people.

and how you treat people is up to you!

[lenaswritingandstuff]

Your Teddy ~ Theodore Nott x f!reader (PART 3 & END)

Requested: No

Pairing: Theodore Nott x f!reader (+ SPOILER x f!reader - secret and non-reciprocal.)

Summary: y/n gets adjusted at her new life with Theo's help.

Word count: 6.2K

Warnings: swearing, English is not my first language

A/N: Thank God one of my classes on Wednesday was online and the other was cancelled otherwise I don't know when I could have written it lmaooo. ANYWAY. Thank you guys so much for +270 followers, love y'all!! Comments and feedback are always appreciated. Sorry for the typos. Hope you enjoy it! xx

Tag list: @helendeath @im-jesus @wolfyychan @blocked-zombieartist

Tag list for this story: @veryberryjelly @revesephemeres @mgchaser @nojamsonmytoast @cometmultiverse

PART TWO

“Darling?” your mother calls from downstairs. “Dinner is ready!”

Putting your book away, you rose from your bed and let out a silent sigh. The day after your conversation with Theo, your parents insisted you get home to rest, and, while you didn’t want to leave Hogwarts, they seemed to want you with them so bad that you had reluctantly accepted. You had now been home for over two weeks, two weeks spent reading books to learn some things and reading letters from Pansy and Theo. While Pansy’s letters were enjoyable and kept you updated on classes and the current gossip at school, you had to admit you awaited for Theo’s letters the most. He wrote to you about his daily life, sometimes making you laugh with a joke or when he told you about what funny thing one of his friends had done or said, and always ended the letter with the same sentence: I miss you. Those words shouldn’t make you feel the way they did, but they did; and you shouldn’t be missing Theo that much, but you were. 

From the moment you saw him, Theo had captivated your mind. You didn’t know if it was the way he had hugged you when he stormed in the hospital wing, the way he looked at you with those blue eyes of his, or just him, but ever since you had seen him in the hospital wing, you had a hard time not thinking about him. When you had realised what having lost all your memory meant, you were scared some people would lie to you or pretend to be someone they weren’t, but for some reason you knew Theo hadn’t lied. You had felt incredibly guilty when you saw how hurt he was when he learnt you didn’t know who he was - and still felt that way. But now, you also wanted to get to know him, and to spend time with him. There was something about him that just drew you towards him. It was partly physical, because, well, he was gorgeous, but also in his personality, how soft his voice was when he was talking to you, how patient and understanding he was, and how he made you feel safe without even trying. And now, after three weeks of only writing to each other, you couldn’t wait to see him again - but never dared to say it. I’ll try to tell him I miss him in my next letter.  

Leaving your room, you went downstairs to find your parents around the table, your mother bringing dinner to the table and your father finishing to set the table. They immediately smiled at you, and you smiled back. Your parents had been nothing but kind and understanding during your stay, but they constantly tried to make you remember things, so much so that you started to feel a bit overwhelmed after a while - which was another reason you couldn’t wait to go back to Hogwarts. 

“Got some rest, darling?” your father asked, sitting on the other side of the table.

“I hope you don’t overwork yourself, sweetie,” your mother continued. “You’re here to get rest and recover.” 

“I’m fine,” you assured them with a smile, sitting down.

“Are you sure, darling? I have to say, you look a bit tired.”

Your mother was right, and there was a reason for that fatigue. Each night, you had terrible dreams about your abduction - dreams or memories, who knew? - and you were now almost afraid to sleep. Like you had told Theo, you were thankful you didn’t remember anything about your kidnapping, but having those dreams brought you a bit of anxiety. You hadn’t told anyone, because you were scared that your parents would freak out, and didn’t tell Theo in order not to bother him. You ate your plate, not saying a word as your parents talked about everything and anything. Once you were done, there was a moment of comfortable silence, and you cleared your throat. 

“I have something to ask you guys,” you said. 

“What is it, dear?” 

“I’d like to go back to Hogwarts,” you answered, not beating around the bush. “I think I’m fully recovered now. It was nice being here, and I appreciate everything you did for me, but I think it would be good for me to go back to school.” 

Your parents shared a look, and for a second you thought they were gonna insist you stayed here.

“If that’s what you want, y/n,” your mother said, “then we support you.”

“We’ll write to Professor Dumbledore tomorrow,” your father nodded. “It will be good for you to be with your friends again.” 

“And Theodore,” your mother added with a wink. 

You felt your cheeks becoming pink and looked at your plate.

“He’s a good lad,” your father smiled.

“I hope you guys will…find a way to get back to the relationship you had,” your mother said gently. “You loved him a lot.” 

You nodded, and after a long moment of your parents telling you stories about your childhood, you decided to bid your parents goodnight - which always included a hug - and went back upstairs to your room. You lit a candle, as it was dark outside, and sat down at your desk before grabbing a piece of parchment, a quill and some ink. 

Dear Teddy, 

I was supposed to stay a little longer with my parents, but I really want to go back to Hogwarts now. My parents will write to Professor Dumbledore tomorrow, and I hope to be at school in the next few days. 

I miss you.

y/n

You then turned to your owl, who apparently had the habit of going to sleep at the same time as you, who made a small noise as if to greet you as you opened its cage. 

“Can you take it to Theo?” you asked your pet. 

You gently stroked its feathers, and then your owl took the letter and flew across the opened window. 

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

You stepped out of the chimney, and, as expected, found yourself in Professor Snape’s office. He was sitting on his desk, apparently grading students’ work, and barely raised his eyes to look at you.

“Good evening, Professor.”

“Miss y/l/n. I hope you’re fully recovered.”

His last words surprised you, as you had found him cold and severe during the few minutes you saw him in the hospital wing. 

“Yes, thank you, sir.”

“Then I shall see you in class.”

“Yes, sir.”

Carrying your luggage, you left his office, and, as you expected, you found Pansy waiting for you in the corridor. She immediately opened her arms and almost ran to give you a hug, which you gladly accepted.

“Aw, darling, I’m so happy you’re back! How do you feel?”

“I’m good.”

But your attention was on the person behind her. Theo was leant against the wall, his hands in his pockets. You detached yourself from Pansy, and Theo and you started to walk towards each other. You felt your heart beat faster, and it even beat faster when Theo gave you a small, shy, smile. Did I feel that way before?

“Hey.”

“Hey. It’s nice to see you.”

“You too.”

It was a bit awkward, as neither of you knew what to do - a hug? A kiss? - but Theo stared at you for a second before stepping closer, gently cupping your face in his hands and kissing your forehead. You closed your eyes, enjoying his touch and his lips on your skin much more than you thought. After the kiss, his hands remained on both sides of his face before he took them away, and you felt disappointed and sad.

“Thank you for your letters,” you said. “I really enjoyed receiving them.” 

“I liked your answers, too,” he said. 

You smiled at him, and suddenly Pansy chuckled.

“Come on, you bloody lovebirds, let’s go.”

You and Theo shared an amused look before you all went to the Slytherin common room, which was near. 

“We should go get dinner,” Pansy said. “y/n, dear, how about you put that luggage in your bag and you’ll unpack after dinner?”

“Alright,” you nodded.

After all, you were hungry too. Pansy led to your dorm, as you honestly didn’t remember where it was, and you put your luggage inside before going to the Great Hall alongside Pansy and Theo. On the way, Pansy kept talking about all that happened while you were gone, but only heard half of it as your hand kept touching Theo’s, which made you somehow want to hold it - or at least to have some physical contact with him. I’m going crazy, you thought. Why do I want to touch someone who’s still a stranger? 

Once in the Great Hall, you sat between Pansy and Theo, who introduced you to his friends, who all greeted you warmly. You looked around, trying to familiarise yourself with the large, beautiful crowded room. As you had lived in a quiet house for weeks, all the noise around made you feel uneasy and comfortable. Only Theo seemed to notice, as he grabbed your hand under the table. You turned to him, and found him giving you a reassuring, warm look. You squeezed his hand, both to show thankfulness and affection, and he gently stroked the top of your hand. You started to feel better, and focused on the conversations the boys were having. You didn’t participate in it, as you had ho idea what they were talking about half the time, but you laughed at their jokes - and, with each laugh, Theo and you shared a look. Once you were done eating, Pansy and you decided to go back to the common room - as it was still too early to go to bed -, and the boys followed. After sitting on one of the green couches, again next to Theo, for two hours spent listening to the boys, sometimes talking to Pansy and again feeling the push to touch Theo’s hand. As it was now getting late, the boys started to go to bed, as they started classes early tomorrow, but unlike earlier, Theo didn’t hesitate to once again cup your face in his warm hands and kiss your forehead, but this time, you got on your tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. 

“Good night, Teddy.”

“Good night, cara mia.”

You blushed at the nickname, before following Pansy - whose dorm was not far away from yours. 

“I promised to spend the night with Daphne,” Pansy said, apparently feeling guilty. “Her dorm is the one next to yours, so I won’t be very far if you need me, okay? You got along very well with Daphne before your…um, departure. She won’t mind at all.”

“Don’t worry about me,” you said. “I’m actually tired, so I don’t think I’ll have a hard time falling asleep.” 

“Alright.” Pansy hugged you, “Sleep well, dear.”

She gave you one last hug before entering Daphne’s dorm, leaving you alone in the silent corridor. You went into your dorm, closing the door behind you. You looked at the unfamiliar room full of unfamiliar objects. It felt as if it all belonged to someone else. Trying to ignore the feeling, you unpacked your bag, went to take a shower and then went to bed. Tomorrow, Pansy would give you a list of all the things they saw in class while you were gone and it was going to take you a while to catch up on everything - and if you didn’t manage to, it was going to be even harder to pass your exams at the end of the year. 

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

“y/n, wake up! Come on, wake up!”

You jolted awake, trying to catch your breath. The dark, cold room and the unfamiliar voices that had been plaguing your sleep were still fresh in your mind, and your first reflex when you felt two hands on your shoulders was to try to pull away.

“Amore, it’s me!” 

It took you half a second to realise you were in your dorm, safe, and that it was Theo in front of you. 

“Teddy?” 

He nodded, and sat on the bed. “I had the feeling I needed to check up on you, and when I came you were having a nightmare.” 

He started stroking your shoulders with all the tenderness in the world, and, almost without realising it, you put your head in his chest, and he immediately wrapped his arms around you, holding you as close as he could, and put his chin on the top of your head.

“It’s okay, baby, I’m here.” 

He pressed a light yet tender kiss on your temple and your heart, which had been beating very fast from waking up so abruptly, starting beating normally. After a while, you felt better, and not once did Theo move. 

“Thank you, Teddy,” you whispered.

“Of course, tesoro.”

Despite wanting to stay in the comfort of his arms, you detached yourself from him, but he kept one of his arms around you. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, his thumb stroking your skin.

You shook your head, and he gave you a nod. 

“I don’t remember much,” you said. “But… Teddy?”

“Hum?”

“Would you…Would you mind staying here with me?” you asked more shyly than you thought.

Theo looked at you and had a soft half smile. 

“I’d like nothing more, love.” 

He bent to press a kiss on your temple and you moved to the side of the bed to give him as much space as you could. Once he was ready, he gently brought your head to his chest before putting one arm around your waist and the other in your hair. Instinctively, you put one hand on the side of his neck, and after a short moment, you felt your whole body relax. You closed your eyes, and suddenly realised Theo smelt amazing.

“You smell good,” you whispered without thinking.

He had a chuckle, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“You used to tell me that often,” he said. “But thank you, cara mia, you smell good too.”

He started playing with your hair, and you fell asleep to the beating of his heart and his warmth.

When you woke up the next morning, your head was in the crook of Theo’s neck, and one of your legs was over one of his. His arms were still tightly wrapped around you, and, looking at him, you couldn’t help but smile at how adorable he looked when he was sleeping. You put your head back, wanting to enjoy the comfort of his warm embrace for a moment, but you realised it was time to wake up. You pressed some kisses on his cheek, and after a while he started slowly moving. 

“Wake up, sleeping beauty.”

He groaned before he finally opened his eyes, and his lips immediately turned into a smile. He looked at you for a moment, and brought his hand to your cheek.

“I almost forgot how good it felt,” he said almost to himself.

“What?” you frowned. 

“To wake up with you in my arms.” 

“It feels good too,” you whispered, caressing his hair. “And I know it felt good before my abduction.” 

There was no way it didn’t feel like that before. If only I could remember…

“We should get up,” you said.

He nodded and had a small sigh, “Yeah, we should.” But then he smiled, “But five more minutes, please?” 

You laughed and nodded.

“Alright, five more minutes.” 

But, as you should have expected, five minutes into ten, then twenty, and finally thirty before you managed to have him let you get out of bed. You rose from the bed, which made him groan in annoyance, and as you went to the bathroom to get your school uniform, you turned to the bed, where Teddy hadn’t moved.  

“Teddy, come on!” you laughed.

“You know, cara mia, no one would mind if you only started class tomorrow.”

You know he was likely to be right, but you shook your head.

“Maybe, but I have enough to catch on already. I can’t afford to be even further behind.”

“I’ll help you,” he said, sitting. “You were always a very good student, why shouldn’t you be now?”

“Maybe I was, but now it’s different.” 

Teddy stared at you, and you immediately knew what he thought. Yes, it is different now.

“I can still help you,” he said.

You nodded, “I’d love that, Teddy.” 

He finally got up, and agreed to go dress up in his dorm when you asked him.

“We’ll meet in the common room in five minutes,” you assured him. 

And as promised, you met there five minutes later, both all ready for the day. It felt a bit weird to be in a uniform, but you did your best to ignore it. After all, everyone was wearing it. Theo and you sat again with his friends and Pansy, who immediately asked you how was your night.

“Oh, really good.”

You and Theo shared a look and you felt yourself blush. 

After breakfast, you walked with Theo to class, with him sometimes giving you information about the castle, or something you saw. On the way, some students came to you to tell you they were happy to see you again, and each time, you felt thankful but awkward. But thankfully, Theo didn’t leave your side once, and always let you know who the person was - friends for the most part. They were Slytherins for most, but as you came closer to class, it was a Gryffindor boy, with dark hair, green eyes and glasses, who approached you.

“y/n? Hi, how are you?”

“I’m fine, thank you.” 

You noticed the strange scar he had on his forehead, but it felt impolite to ask him about it. 

“Back off, Potter,” Theo said coldly. “We don’t have time for you.”

“Teddy, don’t be rude,” you frowned.

“I was just asking how she was,” the Gryffindor boy said calmly. “I wasn’t talking to you.” He turned to you with a kind look, “I’m glad to see that you’re alright. But…You really don’t remember anything?”

Theo opened his mouth to answer but you were faster.

“No, unfortunately. If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your name?” 

“Harry,” he simply answered. “I’m Harry. We…” 

This time, Theo sighed.

“It is really kind of you to ask how my girl was, Potter, but if the Chosen One will excuse us, we’re gonna be late for Potions.”

He put an arm around your waist, and before you could say anything, led you to the end of the corridor. You gave Harry a look of excuse, but he only stared at you.

“Teddy, that was rude,” you said as you entered the Potions room. “He was nice.”

“Not all people are as nice as they look, love,” he simply said and you rolled your eyes. 

“But, if he asked me how I was, he must have been a friend, no?”

Theo had a small, annoyed sigh. “That’s a big word. But your closest friend is Pansy. And also Daphne, I guess. If you need more friends, ask Pansy to introduce you to girls from our house. Or at least, who aren’t in Gryffindor.” 

Theo indicated you a seat in the middle of the class, and sat next to you.

“By the way,” you asked, “what is that strange scar he has?”

Theo sneered, “Long story.”

You were about to ask him when Professor Snape came in, and all conversations faded at once. He gave instructions for the rest of the lesson, and you and Theo worked on the potion. You laughed a few times because Theo couldn’t stop making jokes. Snape eventually noticed and came over.

“Mr Nott, do focus on the potion. Miss y/l/n needs to concentrate if she wishes to get back to the same level as the rest of the class, and I think your immature foolishness will make it harder.”

“We’re sorry, professor,” you apologised. “I was a bit nervous, as it is my first class since I got back, and Teddy was only trying to help…in his own way.”

Snape stared at you both and left without a word. Theo and you looked at each other and had a hard time not laughing.

“Dumbledore must have asked him to be nicer to you,” he whispered as he stirred the potion. “Usually, we would have got detention. Or at least a threat of it.” 

The rest of the class went smoothly, and so did the rest of the day, with all the teachers telling you they were there if you needed anything, and helping you if needed. As the last class of the day ended,  you put your book in your bag and rose from your seat. Theo did the same, and you started walking to the door, but Theo didn’t move. 

“Pansy and I need to talk to Professor McGonnagall,” he said. “It’s gonna take a while,” he sighed. “Hey, how about you go to my dorm - it’s the first one after the serpent symbol - and eat the snacks I left there? You used to like them.”

You were a bit surprised, but nodded. You left the class, and walked down the corridor when you heard a voice from your left side.

“y/n!”

You turned your head and saw Harry in a smaller, darker corridor. 

“Harry?”

“Can we talk?” 

Your eyes went to the door of the class, where Theo still was.

“Sure.”

You walked to place yourself in front of Harry, and you noticed he looked at you strangely. 

“I’m sure you’ve been asked this several times, but you don’t really remember anything about your abduction?”

“No,” you shook your head. “Nothing.”

You could have talked to him about the nightmares, but if you didn’t tell Theo, the person you were the closest to at the moment, why would you talk to a stranger about it?

“And,” Harry continued, “what did they tell you about it?”

You frowned, trying to remember the first conversation you had with Professor Dumbledore. “Well, they said I went to, um, Hogsmeade, I think, alone, and that’s where I was last seen. Apparently I was kidnapped because my parents work at the Ministry. They also don’t know where I was being held or how I escaped.” 

Harry thought for a second. “And what did tell you about the Death Eaters?”

You frowned again, “Not much, only that they worked for someone with bad intentions. But I’m aware I was likely interrogated and tortured, though. Why?”

“Nott,” Harry said. “His father used to work for that ‘someone with bad intentions’. Malfoy’s father too. Oh, and, Nott’s best mate Riddle, he’s the son of that someone.”

You tried to register his words. Theo’s father? You knew Theo did not see him much, and never thought much about it. Draco? Who has been nothing but polite and kind to you? And Mattheo, the funny Mattheo who constantly teased Theo like a brother, and was friendly and warm? After all, you didn’t know any of them. For all you knew, they might have lied all along. 

“You…think they know something?” 

Harry shrugged, “Who knows. All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t trust anyone. I…just want you to be safe, okay?” 

He opened his mouth to say something else but kept silent. 

“I’ll be fine,” you assured him. “Don’t worry.”

“I’m here if you need anything.”

You nodded and after giving him a polite smile, you went back to the corridor, and walking down it, you ran into Professor Snape.

“Miss y/l/n.”

“Sir?”

“The Headmaster wishes to see you in his office at once. Please follow me.”

You nodded and followed him through numerous corridors. He made you enter a beautiful room with several windows, where the Headmaster was waiting for you. 

“Professor, Miss y/l/n.”

“Thank you, Severus. Please, Miss, take a seat. Make yourself comfortable.”

You approached his desk, and sat on one of the large grey armchairs - which were far more comfortable than they looked.

“If you allow me, Miss, how do you feel?”

“I’m well, thank you, sir.” 

“And how was your first day here?”

“Very good, sir. I’m glad to be back in class with my classmates.”

 “Good, good. And, one last question, did any of your memories come back?”

You shook your head, “No, sir. I tried to remember anything, even small things, but in vain so far.”

Dumbledore nodded. “I expected it, do not worry. However, if I made you come here today, it’s not only to make sure you are well, but also, giving your answer to my last question, to tell you there is maybe a way to find your memory back.”

Your eyes widened in surprise, “Really?”

“Yes. Please, come”

You rose from the armchair and followed him to a small, beautiful basin you hadn’t noticed. 

“This is a Pensieve,” Dumbledore said kindly. "If I put a memory inside, I can watch it. Even the details I don’t remember will be there. However, in your case, I have a bit of hope that, if you put your head inside, you might find your memory again, or at least some of it.” He paused before continuing in an even kinder voice, “But if you do not wish to try, I will not force you. All you have to do is to say ‘no’ and I walk you to the door and wish you a good evening.”

“I want to try.”

For me, and for Teddy. He deserves it. 

And also to see if they’re all lying. 

Dumbledore smiled, “I’ll admit I’m happy to hear it, young lady. So, whenever you’re ready…You will just need to hold your breath for a moment…"

You nodded and walked to the basin, putting both your hands on it. You held your breath, and, having the reflex of closing your eyes, put your forehead forward in the liquid. Your eyes opened by themselves, but no memory came. No scene with your parents when you were a child,, or here at school with Pansy or Theo. The liquid seemed to move a little, as it was being stirred, but eventually, all you saw was white. You waited for a moment, before going back to the surface. You breathed again, and realised, stupidly, that you weren’t even wet. 

“Nothing, sir,” you said, feeling ashamed as if you had failed an exam or didn’t understand something that even a five year old got. “There was only white.”

The Headmaster nodded, “Yes, so I thought. Trust that I’m sorry, Miss. But I will continue looking for a remedy. In the meantime, if your friends or Mr Nott want to show you a memory they have, my door is always open.” 

“Thank you, sir.”

“I believe it is now time for me to wish you a good rest of your evening.”

“Good night, sir.”

You left the office and, after getting lost a few times, managed to finally find your way to the Slytherin’s common room. You heard familiar voices as you came in, and several faces immediately turned to you.

“y/n!” 

Theo and Pansy rose from the green couches and almost ran to you.

“Where the hell were you?” Theo asked in an angry voice. “We searched for you everywhere.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, not expecting him to behave like that, “I was with Professor Dumbledore, he wanted to see how I was doing.” 

“Oh,” Pansy said. “That explains why we couldn't find you. Well, I have to go to the library to do some homework, so I'll see you both later.”

After Pansy left, Theo took your hand and gave you a large smile.

“I have a surprise for you, amore. In your dorm.”

“A surprise?” you said with a smile. 

“Yes,” he laughed. “Pansy and I actually didn’t have anything to tell McGonagall, we just needed to make sure everything was ready. That’s why I asked you to leave. Come on.”

His hand in yours, he led you to your dorm, where he slightly opened the door. 

“Close your eyes, love.”

A smile on your face, you closed them, and Theo put his hands on your shoulders to lead you in, and once you were inside, he put them around your waist. 

“You can look, baby,” he whispered in your ear.

You opened them, and saw the room had completely been transformed. There were flowers and at least thirty small lights in the air (A/N: Like in Disney’s “Tangled”, except it’s not lanterns) all arranged in a precise manner alongside shooting stars, and on your bed were several snacks and several presents. 

“Teddy! It’s so beautiful!” you said, and, without thinking, kissed him on the cheek.

“I’m glad you like it, cara mia. Come.”

The both of you sat on the bed, and he presented all the snacks - and the drinks - he had brought.

“I only took your favourite,” he smiled. “I can’t wait for you to try them.”

The feeling of guiltiness you had when the Pensieve didn’t work came back and you sighed. Maybe I can at least tell him that I tried somehow… 

“I tried,” you said. “In Dumbledore’s office. He…tried to make me remember, but…nothing came. I’m sorry, Teddy. I really want to remember, I promise you.”

“Amore, don’t be sorry,” he cupped one of your cheeks and pressed a kiss on it. “I know you would do anything to remember. And I know it’s not your fault.” 

You nodded before clearing your throat. “Teddy, I…I have a question.”

“Go ahead, amore.”

“Is it true your father used to be a Death Eater?”

Theo looked at you for a while, with both surprise and confusion.

“What? Who told you?” 

You hesitated, but decided to be honest. “Harry. He came to talk to me after class, and…”

“God damn it!” he said, angry now. “This little fucker always have to ruin things. Ever since we got together, he always tried to put ideas into your head.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “y/n, look, it’s true my father used to work for You-Know-Who, but I don’t know if he went back to him after his return, and I don’t care! He could die and I wouldn’t care! I don’t care about him, what he does or what he believes in. All I care about is us and, well, my friends, but I don’t give a damn about anything else!” 

“Teddy,” you said, “I know you care! I’m not saying you’re like him, but maybe through your father and Draco’s, we could find a way to find out who abducted me.”

Theo looked at you, apparently thinking. “We could try…But even if my father or Draco’s father or even his aunt know something, I don’t see them telling us anything unless we use Veritaserum. And we would have to wait for the next school break to ask them.” 

“I can wait,” you say. 

Theo sighed, “If that’s what you want, we’ll make a plan. But, tonight, can we just celebrate being together?” 

Both his voice and eyes were pleading, and all you could do was nod.

“Of course, Teddy.”

He seemed to relax, and, one by one, handed you the presents. There were books, an album filled with pictures of you and Theo, a small book where Theo had written all your memories together, and, to finish, some jewellery - a gorgeous necklace with a heart-shaped diamond, a ring with a small white flower on it - and you thought there was no more gifts and was about to give him a “thank you” kiss on the cheek but Theo took a small grey bag from his back. 

“This one is special,” he said before handing it to you.

You took it with a smile, and opened it. There was a beautiful, small bracelet inside. You took it out and was about to put it on when Theo reached a hand out.

“Do you mind if I put it on your wrist?”

“Sure.

You gave him your wrist and he put the bracelet, but he didn’t let go of your wrist, looking instead at it and caressing it with his thumb. 

“This bracelet is different from the other gifts,” he said. “I gifted it to you on our first anniversary. It has never left your wrist ever since, except once.” You frowned and he looked at you, “when you got abducted, you lost it. I found it on the ground when I was looking for you, and I knew something was wrong.” 

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing, “Your absence was killing me, cara mia. We were never separated since we got together, you know. Even during school breaks, you invited me to your home. Not only that, I didn’t know where you were and could only imagine what you were going through. Even my dreams were filled with nightmares of you facing unspeakable things alone. I couldn’t think of anything but you and how I missed you. I stopped going to class and going down for meals. I would have done anything to get you back, you know? I know I’m still a stranger to you, y/n, and it’s probably too early, but I love you. More than anything, more than my life. You’re all I have, you know? My mother is dead, my father doesn’t give a damn about me. Sure, I have my friends but you…God, y/n, you’re…everything. All the joy and happiness I have, I owe it to you. You taught me to be kinder with others but also with myself, and to have faith in me and what we had. I never took you for granted, and it hasn’t changed. But now, I can’t stand to be apart from you. I totally understand if you want to take things slow, and I will earn your trust and love again, but, please, just…just give a chance, amore. A chance to show you why I’m your Teddy and why you’re my y/n, and to make up for the time we lost. That, even if you don’t remember it, there is a reason why we were together. If you never get your memory back, it’s fine, I’ll spend hours telling you about every moment we had together in detail, and we’ll create new happy ones. I…love you, y/n.” 

After his last words, there was a silence and you could almost feel the weight of his words sinking in, going straight to your heart. That’s when you realised the attraction and the pull you had felt towards him from the moment you saw him was completely normal because Theo, with his large blue eyes and his adorable accent, was your soulmate. There was no doubt why you had loved him. Unable to say a word, you brought your hands to his cheeks and kissed him. The surprise caused him to not kiss you back immediately, but once he did, it was with all the longing he had felt ever since you had disappeared. One of his hands found your waist while the other was on one side of your neck. Your heart started beating faster and you felt something in your stomach before, all of a sudden, you felt as if you were struck by lighting. Your eyes opened by themselves, and images came rushing into your head. 

You playing with your parents as a child, buying your wand, being sorted into Slytherin, your first conversation with Theo and Pansy, all the classes and exams, your time spent with Theo before you guys dated, the moment you realised you were madly in love with him, your first date and first kiss, all the times you guys cuddled, the first time you spent the night loving each other, and, finally the last time you saw him before your abduction. Then, memories of a dark, dirty room and people wearing black pointing their wands at you, screaming in pain as you swore you didn’t know anything, and then, finally managing to escape and run back to the forest where you passed out. You felt tears coming out of your eyes, and broke the kiss.

“I love you too, Teddy. More than anything,” you whispered. 

He frowned, full of confusion, and you stroked his cheeks. 

“I…I don’t know why, but the kiss, it brought back all my memories back. Our first date was a picnic near the lake, right? That’s when we had our first kiss.”

He didn’t say anything but nodded. “You…You remember.”

It was your turn to nod before hugging him, stroking his hair and inhaling his comforting scent. 

“It’s the bracelet,” he suddenly said before breaking the hug. “When I bought it, the man at the shop told me it had magical properties, but I didn’t listen. I was late for class and wanted to have time to create a surprise for our evening. Maybe it remembers its owner?”

“Maybe,” you agreed. “But whatever it did, I’m glad you decided to give it to me that day. I always saw it as a symbol of our love, and now I truly believe it is.”

Theo nodded and you stared at him, admiring how gorgeous he was.

“I love you,” you said, “my Teddy.”

He kissed you again, this time with passion, and you knew this night was the first of many beautiful new memories together. 

(A/N: The bracelet, as Theo said, was magic. When y/n was abducted, a tear fell from her eye to bracelet, and we know memories can be found in tears. So the bracelet basically saved the memories and when she put it on, her memories came back.)

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[star-girl69]

Because Of You

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!AphroditeCabin!Reader

—-

synopsis: years after your rite of passage, the boy who’s heart you broke just won’t leave you alone. clarisse, your girlfriend, quickly decides she’s not a fan.

a/n: should i stop procrastinating and then forcing myself to write shitty fics quickly? probably. but not today!! this is kinda just like an au of dont delete the kisses but… you guessed it… IDC!!!!!!!! from this ask

thank you all so much for patiently waiting i love y’all soooooo muuccchhhhhh 🫶🫶💋 as i mentioned on my acc i have the next week off from school, pls expect more content then!!

Because Of You - Lana Del Rey (Unreleased)

warnings: NOT PROOFREAD, this sucks so bad y’all sorry lolllll, y/n is a year round camper!, starts out very background heavy but i really don’t care 😭, creepy men UGH, ugly bitches not being able to let shit go, im gonna say sexual harassment just incase, swearing, usual demigod stuff y’all know what you’re getting into, jealous!clarisse YESSS, possessive!clarisse ik i screamed!!, protective!clarisse too, slightly graphic makeout scene, i think that’s all, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

When you were young, you were thrilled by the thought of love.

The idea of belonging not only with someone- bodies fitting together like puzzles pieces- but belonging to someone- wrapping around you like a warm blanket.

Later, your half-siblings would describe mostly similar experiences to yours- an overwhelming desire to be loved, wanted, needed. Ever since you ran into camp with a monster hot on your heels and satyr shouting encouragement next to you- everyone’s stared at you. They poke and prod, they act like they’ve never seen a daughter of Aphrodite before.

It’s annoying, but it makes you feel good- but not quite.

Until Alek came along.

You were both 13, you still believed in soulmates, and you wanted nothing more than to be with each other for the rest of your lives.

You were 13, and he felt like the only one for you.

And when you had to break up with him to fulfill your rite of passage- it felt like the world was ending. You cried for days and begged your sister Phoebe to say it wasn’t a true, it was just a mean, mean prank.

But she couldn’t tell you that, and there were more types of love that romantic.

While you longed to hold someone, to be held- you also craved your mother’s approval like you were starving. You wanted her love, you wanted her to visit you in your dreams, you wanted gifts from her, you wanted everything and anything she could give you.

So, it hurt like you had never known hurt before, but you did it. Alek seemed entirely indifferent to it, almost ignoring you and pretending you hadn’t said it- but you felt a warmness around you, a dove flew between trees, you knew your mother was there and she approved.

Breaking up with Alek felt like the sun had exploded on top of you.

Being with Clarisse felt like the sun was wrapped around you.

—-

After Alek’s initial denial, he went through all the other stages of grief, mourned your relationship like you did, and you came out on the other side with a one-sided agreement to forget it ever happened.

Alek got stuck. Or went back. He started to believe that you were still meant to be, that much you could tell.

Until that day at the training fields when your hand slipped at archery and you almost shot Clarisse in the head- and she had glared at you so harshly while you ran over and examined her head, gushing out apologies and fretting over her.

She pushed you away, hand lingering for a second, eyes softening before she quickly looked away.

“Just… be more careful,” she had said, almost like a question, like she wasn’t sure the words were coming out of her mouth.

And, Gods, were you terrified it was all some secret plan. Make you think it was alright only to corner you in the woods and probably kill you, or something.

And when she asked the next day to teach you how to shoot a bow, you agreed with tears in your eyes, knowing of her reputation, and it took a lot of trust and a lot of swapped secrets for her to prove to you it wasn’t all some elaborate plan.

But even if her plan was to kill you the entire time, you fell in love over her fixing your stance, hands brushing as you accidentally grabbed the same arrow, stolen looks across the pavilion.

It wasn’t until a random kid bumped into you, making you fall and twist your ankle. Clarisse had this look in her eyes that was so genuine, so full of love and care for you, softly caressing your leg after she had punched the other kid in the face.

And you realize as she said you were doing great, limping while she helped you to the infirmary, that this was something.

And as much as you hated the violence being committed over you, it was the hottest thing you’ve ever seen, and the warmth in your chest was all you had ever wanted. This was what it was like to belong with someone, to someone, with her, to her.

This was what it was like to be admired. Loved. Wanted. Needed.

And when she softly told you goodbye, you had kissed the corner of her lips and thanked her- turning to walk into your cabin, ankle already feeling better thanks to the ambrosia.

She grabbed you by the wrist and turned you around, pulling you against her tightly and kissing you so harshly like she had just found the secret to the world in her lips on yours, her hands on your hips.

And when she finally pulled away, embarrassing strings of spit connecting your lips, she said she was sorry. Probably the first time she had ever said that to someone, and you smiled.

“Sorry. It’s just… once your lips were on mine, I don’t think I can ever stop. I don’t wanna stop.”

And she kissed you again and it was all you ever wanted out of this life- to love and be loved, to hold and to be held, and it was all because of her.

—-

The welcome back campfire is your favorite time of year.

It’s when the camp comes alive, when the Gods themselves seem to return to this place- even Mr. D is a bit more lively with all the pure infectious energy running through the first few days of camp. Everyone’s getting settled, classes haven’t started quite yet, and the year round campers get a much needed break.

As much as you and Clarisse wanted to keep things private, when she punches someone in the middle of the pavilion for accidentally bumping into you, it’s not hard to figure out Clarisse cares for you more than she does anyone else.

And after one of your younger siblings, Cara, a 12-year-old notorious for staying up late, saw you and Clarisse kissing that first night- it spread like wildfire.

But it was the winter, so it still felt secret, until summer rolled around and Clarisse kept getting more and more annoyed by every camper who entered the gates. She would grab at you in the middle of meals, drag you into her bed, even kiss you in public- do all these things that seemed so out of character for her, but she was a different person when she was with you.

Everyone had been looking at you oddly all night, shocked, confused, even Clarisse has cracked a genuine smile at someone who dropped their drink- squeezing your hand.

Maybe they had all heard the rumors. Maybe they didn’t believe them.

But it’s all cleared up when Clarisse leads you to the best seat, the log not too far from the fire but not too close, wrapping her arms around you and kissing your temple.

Your cheeks heat up, only because Clarisse is never this touchy in public, and never around this many people before.

All of the eyes on you feel weird- they feel so judging.

And you’re not used to that, however vain it may be.

“Everyone’s staring at us,” you mumble, shuffling closer to Clarisse so your legs are pressed together.

She leans her head against your shoulder. “‘S okay. Don’t worry about ‘em, baby.”

You huff. “Did no one ever teach them it’s rude to stare, though? Like… c’mon.”

She sighs dramatically, lifting her head from your shoulder.

“Stop fuckin’ staring,” she says. Not quiet shouting, but her voice is loud and forceful. Her voice carries weight.

And eventually, at the risk of Clarisse’s wrath, all the wandering eyes stop.

A few of Clarisse’s siblings laugh from around you, commenting that the stares were getting a bit ridiculous, everyone just grateful that you all might get a little reprieve from the overwhelming stares and whispers.

But, you still feel uneasy. Clarisse kisses your shoulder.

And while you look around at the faces very pointedly not staring at you, there’s one person who still is. You roll your eyes, open your mouth to comment on it- but your mouth quickly snaps close at the sight of Alek.

—-

You don’t mention it to Clarisse. Maybe because breaking his heart haunts you, maybe what could have been haunts you.

You try not to think of Alek or that night, you try not to think of the entire age of 13. You always knew that Alek never quite let you go. He still sort of believed that the two of you would come back together- subscribing to some abstract belief soulmates.

You don’t think about Alek. Everything you do is because of her, because of Clarisse.

Sometimes, knowing you have secret admirers makes you feel all happy, but now that Clarisse sneaks you into her cabin every night- it makes you feel weird. You really don’t want anyone except for Clarisse, the idea of even being near someone else kinda disgusts you.

But, you choose to believe that maybe he was just shocked, and he’ll get over it in a few days.

You spend your days in the summer sun with Clarisse, holding her hand on walks through the strawberry fields, still using your archery lessons to spend time together, staring at each other from across the pavilion at meals, dreaming about a future together when it gets dark and you’re forced to whisper softly.

Alek is just always lurking. Is it coincidence? Is he stalking you? Every time you’re with Clarisse, trying to enjoy a nice date, he’s there- staring at you like a lovesick puppy.

And if it wasn’t because of her, you would probably be flattered. But you have Clarisse, you’ve moved on, you’re in love and happy.

It’s the late afternoon, you’re trying to enjoy a long moment with her, breathe in the sweet smell and just feel how happy you are, know it’s because of her.

The fields are still crowded with kids who pushed off their chores until the end of the day, so you and Clarisse stay on the outskirts. Not too far into the woods that’s filled with satyrs and nymphs who have grown very hostile towards any two campers who make their way into the woods. But not too close.

You don’t even register that other people are there. You’re going on about your annoying half-brother, she’s pretending to listen intently- but it’s just enough to be here with her, and at least she’s listening to the sound of your voice. At least that brings her some comfort, and that makes you feel good.

“And then, he said-” you trail off, feeling like something’s crawling all over you, practically being able to feel the anger in the air.

“Hm, what?” Clarisse asks, snapping out of her reverie at your silence.

Alek is glaring at you, of course. It just feels so juvenile. You had received letters from him for years- ones that he didn’t sign- but you knew. He said that the two of you had so much more to give together, that a second chance was all he needed to make you forget about the rite of passage, about pleasing your mother.

Clarisse squeezes your hand, leaning closer to you.

You used to like the feeling of getting those letters, of knowing you were loved and wanted. But now, with Clarisse, because of her- it feels wrong.

She follows your eye line and Alek quickly looks away, back down at the strawberries he’s supposed to be picking.

Clarisse’s hand tightens around yours.

“Who the hell is that?” she huffs.

You suck in a breath. “Alek.”

“Al-huh?”

You smile, despite how uneasy you feel.

“Alek, Clarisse. From my rite of passage?”

“Oh,” she nods, nose scrunching ever so slightly. “The one who left you those creepy letters? Has he left anymore?”

“No, no,” you say, risking one more glance at his back- just to assure yourself. Maybe you’re just making it all up. “Not since last summer. I mean, he was staring at us the night of the bonfire too, he’s always around on all our dates- it’s just creepy, at this point.”

“Sounds like the fucker has a death wish,” she drawls. “I’d be happy to help him with it.”

You bump her shoulder with yours. “Yeah, yeah Miss Violence.”

She smiles back, but she searches her eyes and you can tell she doesn’t like what she sees.

“Hey, c’mon. I’ll kill him if he pulls some shit again.”

“Clarisse.”

“Beat him up?”

“Clarisse.”

“Physically threaten him?”

“Clar-”

She smacks her hand over your mouth. “Shhh,” she smiles. “Don’t stress. I’ll take care of it.”

“Clarisse!” you shout, laughing, but her hand is still pressed tight over your moth.

“Oh, sorry, baby, I can’t hear you!”

“Bitch,” you hiss, and she frowns.

“Mean.”

—-

Clarisse, unfortunately, is true to her word.

Alek finally leaves you a note. It’s simple, unsigned, but obviously him. You recognize his chicken scratch scrawl.

All it says is:

I miss you, we could be something

She writes him a note back, a long one- first talking about all of her accomplishments as a daughter of Ares, then detailing all the ways she’ll make him regret thinking about you.

She tells you now, whispers in her bed, she laughs and your mouth hangs open.

“Clarisse!” you gasp, scolding her with a soft hit to her shoulder.

She rolls her eyes and moves closer to you.

“What else was I supposed to do? Ignore it? You don’t know me if you think I could just ignore some random dude flirting with my girlfriend. He’s a fuckin’ weirdo, and hopefully that note will teach him somethin’.”

“I mean. I doubt it will,” you mumble after a moment.

She smiles, your heart squeezes- because her smile is so beautiful- and because Clarisse never smiles like this. It’s bloodthirsty. It’s almost inhuman. It’s Godly.

“Then I’ll have to teach him in… other terms.”

—-

Dinner this evening is slow and relaxed. It’s Friday, so you’ve all made it to the end of the first official week of camp. Chiron let’s the rules fade away tonight, cabin tables have been abandoned and everyone sits where they want.

A few Hermes kids volunteered to start a fire, Mr D is busy trying to get the new kids to sneak him some alcohol- but he’s hard pressed to find ones who haven’t already been warned not to.

The energy in the air is infectious. The promise of a late wake up tomorrow, a fun night, the feeling of the moon and the fire, warmth on your skin- it’s a recipe for lowered inhibitions, for everything to come a little easier.

Clarisse sits next to you a table in the pavilion. You’re surrounded by Silena and Beckendorf, a few Hermes kids, a few Ares kids- a big mosh of random campers squeezed together at this one table- but it works, for whatever reason.

There’s nothing like laughing at someone’s shitty joke and feeling Clarisse laugh with you, pressed close to her so you can feel her chest rumble, feel her arm squeeze around you.

“He did what?!” Silena screeches, looking at you with wide eyes.

You laugh at her shock, at the audacity of Alek.

She sneaks a quick glance at Clarisse, who seems entirely engrossed in her siblings’ arm wresting tournament at the next table over.

“Yeah,” you sigh, feeling sort of complacent with it now. It’s not like anything will change. You’re here because of her, because of Clarisse. Everything you do is because of her.

Breathing, eating, sleeping. Basic human functions and the need to survive has only strengthened with the motivation of staying alive for her.

“Anyways,” you smile. “Clarisse left him back this big, long note. All about how she’s the strongest girl at camp,” you roll your eyes, but you’re smiling too big to be anything but joking. Besides, everyone knows she’s probably right. “And then threatened him a whole bunch. So, hopefully, he’ll just get his head out of his ass and then everything will be good again.”

You breathe out at the end of your small rant, and Silena smiles sympathetically.

“Hopefully,” she echoes.

But, because of Clarisse, because of her arms around you, you don’t feel anything but peace.

—-

Of course, life is not straightforward for demigods.

At the end of the day, you’re doomed to fall in your parents footsteps- except there is no immortality for you to fall back on. You’re vain and you’re proud, just like your parents, and you step too far, jump too high, and you’re as left dust on the floor.

Even though the same path had been left out for you to repeat, doomed footsteps to follow in, you step where they stepped and expect a different end.

The night is pitch black, besides for the brilliant stars and the bright, bright moon. It makes everything feel so private and secret. It makes Clarisse relax, makes her hold you closer but looser.

It feels good to feel her arm loose around you. She’s not afraid of you disappearing, because she knows of someone dragged you away you would rise up from the waves and straight back into her, into her arms.

The Apollo kids are playing music, voices hum along, the night is on fire with the crackles and the rising smoke, on fire with the peace, the content.

It feels like nothing can hurt you here.

But you’re a demigod, and life is not that easy.

The seat next to you is abandoned, and you barely even take notice as it’s quickly filled again- but you take notice of the eyes on you, of the body leaning forward to speak softly to you.

The fact that he’s here, the fact that he blatantly didn’t listen- you suppose you could have felt some sympathy for before, craving a life that wasn’t his anymore. Living off of memories made him too hungry.

Your mouth presses into a thin line as you recognize the voice in your ear.

“Y/N, I jus’ wanna talk.”

The rest of the table has fallen silent, and you realize everyone had almost immediately taken notice of his entrance- and you could tell by the way Clarisse’s body was tense against yours- he would regret ever coming over here.

“Clarisse,” you mumble, shifting closer to her.

She hooks her head over her shoulder, shifting completely so she’s straddling the bench, pressed up against your back.

Her tone is genuinely confused.

“Are you, like, okay in the head?”

The table, previously silent with fear, now bubbles with forced laughter.

“It’s not of your business,” Alek says, staring directly into your eyes. You feel like a deer caught in headlights, just completely shocked, too scared to move like it will all become real.

Clarisse puts her hand on your forehead and floats it down across your face, and your eyes voluntarily flutter shut.

“You’re not even worthy of being looked at by her,” and you can hear the smile on her voice. She confidence seeping from her pores- you can feel it all with the way she’s protectively wrapped around you.

“Y/N,” he says again, ignoring her through gritted teeth. “I just want to talk.”

“If you say one more fuckin’ word to my girlfriend I’m gonna kill you.”

There’s no smile on her voice, no edge of a joke. Not even angry. She’s deathly calm. She’s focused, like a 20 pound weight sinking to the bottom of the sea. She cuts through whatever she has to and everything else knows to avoid her.

You don’t know why the hell Alek just can’t let the 13 year old version of you go, why he’s looking something where there’s nothing, and you’re just so done with all of this.

You open your eyes, sitting up, letting Clarisse’s arms fall around you in confusion.

“Alek,” you start, softly. “We dated for a month when we were 13. That’s all it was, that’s all it’s ever gonna be. It’s over, okay?”

“Exactly,” he breathes. “A month when we were 13- and we were that good together? We could do so much more now, I wanna show you.”

“Okay, I’m done,” you mumble, standing up.

And without you in between, Alek finally gets a good look at the daughter of war. She’s pure, streamlined muscle. Every inch of her body has been meticulously trained to kill monsters- Alek knows that killing him would be easy.

Clarisse cracks her knuckles and you almost laugh at how cinematic it is.

—-

You hum as you run the alcohol pad over her split knuckles. Clarisse likes to leave the scars like this, the small ones, let them heal on her own. Even though she winces at the feeling, you know she’ll be walking around, proudly showing off her scabs until they finally fade away. She’ll cross her fingers and hope they scar, probably.

Clarisse watches you with admiration, admiring your movements, your voice, even though you’re really not doing anything special. But, to her, everything you do is special.

“Did you see how bad his face was?” she asks, trying to remain calm, but eagerness slips into her voice.

“I did,” you laugh. “It was real bad, baby. Good job.”

She huffs, as if it’s common knowledge.

“I always do a good job, just matters what level of good I’m on. I think this was one of my best works though, huh?”

She admires her split knuckles and you roll your eyes, finally starting to put some bandaids on the clean wounds.

“You’re crazy,” you mutter.

She shrugs. “You’re the one who let me. You’re the one who loves me.”

“Yeah,” you mumble after a moment, not really wanting to lie to her, tease her right now. She smiles soft and sweet, placing her fingertips against your jawline and leaning forward.

“Did you like watching me?” she breathes, her low voice hitting you right in the stomach, breath against your lips.

You circle her biceps with your hands and run them up and down the tense muscle.

“You know I did.”

“Three months no dessert,” she smiles.

“Three months of sharing with you,” you laugh. She smiles wider before finally, mercifully, putting her lips on yours.

Everything you do is because of Clarisse. It feels so good to be close to her like this- practically in her lap- fo feel how strong she is, to know what she did for you today.

It feels so good to know she loves you.

When you pull away, trying to chase her, she dodges you and kisses your jawline, your neck, and you throw your head back and release the most unladylike sounds as she leaves hickies on your neck, seemingly determined to make them as dark as possible, as easy to see. And a lot of them.

“Jealous?” you say, biting your lip to keep in a moan.

“Just want everyone to know you’re my girl. Want everyone to know who makes you feel good, feel loved, huh?”

You stomach twists and your mind goes blank.

“Huh?” she repeats, sticking her face in your neck to breathe in and out, catching her breath. “Why you feelin’ like this, baby?”

“Because of you,” you breathe. “Because of you, Clarisse.”

—-

y/n walking around the next day looking like she got attacked by a vampire

silena trying to be happy for y’all but also concerned for your health

clarisse just being proud as hell

—-

this was small so idk if y’all picked it up but clarisse was jealous before alek even came along- jealous that there were more campers coming! like? she just doesn’t like unworthy losers looking at her girl 🙄

—-

possessive!clarisse i love you so much baby

—-

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