#i know i was just talking about this in the discord but i cant stop thinking about it ghjghhhh
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love my bad mental health, love being suicidal all the time
#abc shut it#im tired of fighting it and trying to participate in life when it feels like i dont exist#love being lonely and then being told its due to my bad mental health so i pretend it doesnt affect me and i try and be myself#and no one likes me and i dont exist unless i remind people im a person so its kinda like#at a point where its not just suicidal ideation#its just a situation of /when/ and not if haha#ive been alive for 26 years and 20 of those have been exhausting as hell im ready to be done#exhausting and lonely and isolating im sick of it#i try and i try and my life doesnt get better or anymore worth living#and when i vent abt it i get told i need to try harder and im not trying at all and i need to stop being so depressed#its hard to not be depressed when the universe gives everyone around me a better experiences than me#i feel like im screaming that im here please pay attention#and nothing#i talk and my voice gets ignored or i get talked over#i post online to try and start conversations or make friends and i just get ignored#like do i exist at all to anyone else but myself#im trying to reach out and make friends but none of the ppl i wanna make friends with seem interested in having a conversation with me#i add all these people to discord and message them all the time#but nothing gets passed me sending them messages no one ever fucking messages me first#it feels like no one thinks about me and i dont matter#literally no one gives a fuck what i have to say#or anytime i talked im corrected on SOMETHING i say or i get a belittled in response#i cant do this shit anymore i cant#no one gives a shit about what i have to say and its really coming across that no one likes me#bc if my friends cant text me first or respond to my messages at all#why am i in the wrong feeling like im alone and have no friends when im the only one reaching out ever if i wanna have a conversation#and when i do feel like im allowed to talk i just talk and talk and talk and know the people dont give a shit abt what i have to say#i jsut feel like im here to be talked at and do things for other people and nothing more#that whenever i have an emotion its wrong and i need to bottle it up#and i dont eve get a chance to learn how to manage my emotions bc it feels like im going to get scolded or belittled for feeling things
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I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.
#I was interested. I wanted to get to know you.#I did not want validation. I only said it because you said it... I don't know why. I was susceptible.#I was blindly accepting certain things that you said about me. Judgement that you had for me.#I was under severe stress from my job at the time; while at the same time dealing with unresolved emotional trauma and very low self worth.#vent#I was burnt out. Crushed... Completely.#I didn't want attention. I did not want you to cure my depression. I though I was just letting you know me. I wasn't aware I was oversharin#I tried... SO HARD to get over the things that triggered me and hurt me but I just couldn't...#I wanted to. I did everything in my might; I took it to therapy; I looked everywhere within me; to either get over it#or completely forget about you and stop caring at all; so things were ok and normal again; but it didn't go away...#I just feel so... unsafe... at the idea of talking again#I know I wasn't the best listener and I profoundly regret that.#I was not only thinking about myself like you said and I was aware of the effort that other's put; but I was afraid/resistant to PRECISELY#that cause of past events with other people. Because in some I was the one putting that effort and ended badly for me. Looking back#that was inappropiate of you because you felt too comfortable generalizing my past relationships and why in your head they failed.#“I cant help but feel you are looking down on people who” Stay away from me if you ever make a stretch like this again.#By “experiment” I meant that you don't know how a relatioship with somebody is gonna turn out until you go and try. That's all I meant.#I didn't want things to turn out this way. I'm sorry they did.#The effort I put for you may have been shit to you. But to me it was a lot. And I'm done taking judgement.#Altho I love my friends I still keep distance. I still can't completely help that. I can go months not talking to my BF.#You were my BF during my teenage years. I remembered you fondly. I still do.#I don't feel ready to talk again having to keep to myself interest that I might have. Related to trauma. I do not feel comfortable with tha#No I do not look at your blogs.#The day I said I was abused I had a panic attack right after that. That's mainly why I had to cut contact: I didn't want another one.#I didn't tell you because I didn't trust you to not say “talk to the void” again. I didn't trust you to want to hear about it. I didnt feel#safe with you anymore. Event tho we ressumed contact I felt that way the entire time.#I wanted to answer all the questions you had; I really did; until I couldn't stand it anymore.#And the day I removed you from discord... I know you probably had an awful day that day... I'm so; so sorry...#I'd like to one day be completely unbothered by assumptions and stuff cuz I know it's not your fault... You went through stuff too...#stuff
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honestly my biggest wonder about yesterdays drama was like... who even was that? not the person being called out, but the one calling them out. like, its one thing to make a throwaway to make a callout post, but to go on anon and try to pull unrelated people into it? this was clearly someone still in the taleblr server since they had screenshots from literally the same day in their callout
this isnt me taking sides because genuinely i have more important things to worry about than all that, but its different when it comes to this person because like... i just thought yall were different than that? maybe we all dont totally consider eachother friends entirely but i liked to think we were all somewhere around there for the most part
theres only so many of us and we all try to stay chill (to more or less success) because like... theres probably less than 100 of us left, and we're all adults by now as far as i know, and i know age doesnt really equal maturity, but its just so immature to try and stir drama by messaging unrelated parties.
honestly even if the person told me in private who they were its not like id make shit worse by posting about them or something because, again, i have bigger things to worry about, im just curious at this point. its not even an obligation for them to come forward, im just admitting that im curious.
if anything all i have to say is be the bigger person and block and move on when you dont like someone or something someone did. i get that you saw stuff that you found gross and you wanted everyone to feel the same way you did, but the rest of us just want to live our lives. plus i think the people that were messaged arent even in the discord so it was honestly even weirder to do that
ive had my fair share of seeing things that made me feel gross to see or read or know about, like, seriously i found out one of my friends was a pedo last year (and i promptly blocked the cunt). but it doesnt do anything to pull other people into the mess and try to start shit.
basically, just be more mature, cause i know yall are better than that. you dont have to read fics that you dont like, and you dont have to interact with people you dont like. your online experience is yours and the best option is always to block and move on. ive had my fair share of drama, and all it does is ruin peoples days, and not much else.
my biggest point, honestly, is that this is such a small fandom and i dont want whats left to come crashing down because some drama makes everyone left hate it here. i dont care whos right or wrong because literally whatever its internet drama, i just dont want this community to die out.
#taleblr#my post#plus about my ex-friend... im just satisfied in knowing theyre gross and insufferable enough that theyre not gonna have much luck#with relationships of any kind unless they make drastic drastic changes to themselves and their life.#and no i havent read the fic in question here because it just didnt sound like my kind of thing#and im definitely not proship but i seriously think its better to just move on#my thing is like... i dont want people writing about certain topics but i also know that i cant stop people#i dont like things that have been done on either side here which is why im not taking sides#you could argue im an unrelated party but i at least talked to the person a little bit yesterday in the server#i checked up on them after cause i was like 'oh this person i was talking to got banned i wonder what the deal was and if theyre ok'#because from our convo in the server they seemed nice even if they were a bit unknowing of the rules it seemed#and they basically just told me they wanted everyone to leave them alone. so yeah#ill leave them alone and everyone else should too and its just better for everyone to move on#im not going to make any more posts about this after mind you. i dont have asks or submissions on so the only way to contact me#is through my messages if anyone feels like it#or i guess if youre in the discord you could DM me on there too#but otherwise im not going to make any more posts because i just wanted to get this out of the way and move on with my day#i have a huge thing happening later and i dont need this weighing on my mind for it#just be more mature. just block and move on. dont be that guy that tries to bring other people into it that had nothing to do with it#and dont try to make this everyone elses problem#youre allowed to feel disgusted and angry or whatever you might be feeling. but dont make it everyone elses problem#also no i couldnt report my ex-friend because i didnt have the info and also i didnt have evidence more than them admitting to thoughts#and people cant be arrested for thoughts alone as much as you might wish they could#and also they werent ashamed of these thoughts which is why they were disgusting. they only hid them because they knew we would be#disgusted because were normal people. so anyway.#long post
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what if?? instead of doing anything i need to i rewatch prime defenders? what then?
#i cant stop talking about pd#or anything jrwi for that matter#everyone i know on discord has heard about it#so i’m sorry tumblr mutuals#prime defenders is just good okay#the first five episodes are free on youtube#go watch prime defenders#and also riptide#and apotheosis#and *gets shot*
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the thing i hate about having anxiety about info dumping is that it does not in fact stop me from info dumping.
#so i just basically talk while knowing im annoying and tell myself 'well if they get sick of it fair' whille wishing i could stop so i#could stop 'being annoying/talking about something maybe im the only one interested in'#its the 'need to be heard' vs the 'jesus shut the fuck up kid' mental fight#acey is neurodivergent#still thinking about that post with discord being ilke the school cafeteria lol#( chat groups in general are just...i cant See you how do ppl not find that terrifying)#ive gotten a lot better mind but skadfnlads
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#told my roommate ive been depressed this weekend and she kindly offered to watch a movie but i knew shed be too tired and need to cancel#bc of the clocks changing and its ok i know how tired she gets i was the one to suggest it was okay if she cant + it was still a nice idea#but now im alone for the evening again ive been alone all weekend and weekends are the hardest for me and i thought i was feeling a little#better but im not and theres nothing to stop me from harming which is okay i keep it safe and its always a choice i make to do it or not#not anyone elses responsibility but i didnt want.to be alone tonight thats all. and offering something she knows she cant fulfil makes me#feel rejected too and i also wanted to talk abt some of her behaviour that upsets me sometimes but gently bc i dont want it to seem like#im blaming her bc its not her fault im so bad at communicating and neurotic and weird abt shit that doesnt even make sense#but its been bothering me for a really long time and it comes up again every time we meet with other people and i get really upset over it#and im the one that keeps putting off talking about it but its so hard when its been gping on so long and i find it so hard to express#anything and communicate especiallt when its shit like this but im so so so so tired of sitting on it i just want it resolved one way or#another and now i wont see her for a few days bc of this family trip and itll be on my mind the whole time and the thought is making me#feel insane already ive wasted so many hours and hours being upset by her and not being able to talk abt it i need it to stop its not even#that big a deal.it just is to me. and i dont know how to say anythign ever#and she wants to make plans with friends next weekend which feels like hoisting an anvil above my head bc if i dont go i risk having a#rejection sensitive episode bc im vulnerable rn and this is exactly what happened over the summer and it took me months to recover from but#if i do go ill get upset bc ill feel unwanted there and ill be dealing with the same issue that comes up every fucking time and either way#ill end up harming in response to it bc i cant handle how intense my emotions are and i dont have any better outlets right now#for these specific feelings and i dont want to do that i want to be a normal fucking human being who doesnt lock themself in a#stupid fucking iron maiden style repression over completely innocuous shit that no one would even know im reacting this way to#i cant do it i cant do thjs anymore i cant i want it to stop im so tired and it hurts so so much feeling so much like this#they should make a mind for me that is capable of not inflicting distress this intense on itself i need to explode#actually. maybe since i wont see her for a couple days i can write a long discord message about it instead. i know its a shitty way to#deliver information but maybe it would be easier that way rather than trying to summon the courage to say anything in person when im#usually actively upset abt it at the time and my immediate response to getting upset is to shut down and not express which doesnt help#and its so stupid but i need it to not be like this i cant keep living with her and getting so upset so regularly it has to stop now#ill think about itand maybe draft it. and then i can decide. but right now i need to eat. and pack. and then cut sorry. but its ok#ughhhhfdhf. please let this week be better ill try harder ill say something i have to im the one inflicting this on myself by not talking#about it!!!!!!!!! so. man and i think my dinner is cold now too. oh well#.vent#tw self harm
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the chances that tomorrow i encounter a stranger IRL who has read my fics is very low. but it's not zero.
#like i get jumpscared by people recognising my ao3 in discord servers. so. that happening irl wouldnt be THAT far off#i know for a fact i have readers in sydney#is it LIKELY that one of my sydney readers will just so happen to be there at the same time as me? god no#and even if they are then i probably wont know about it#but god i cant stop thinking about the possibilities#im gonna be with an irl friend too. bro what if the person 3 seats over is talking out loud like 'yeah so heres my theory about#what au cpunksabm is gonna write next' and i just have to play it cool#that wouldnt happen. but what if
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idk but maybe some of the reason ppl see the internet as a politically unhelpful tool for activism is because most of the ppl who say that... kinda tend to be in an echo chamber already, or are just surrounded by people who already agree with them and the message doesnt reach farther. we need to find ways to appeal to more people than just the people we like.
#ig to me its like. the internet is literally what radicalized a bunch of alt right dudes. id say its pretty effective at advancing certain#politics. we just need to find a way to advance the opposite politics. and we can start by not shunning anyone who doesnt know everything..#not gonna act like posting shit online is the Only and Best form of activism but i do think it still counts. its more about who you actuall#reach and being realistic about that fact.#if you're only reaching the most lefty of leftists thats a problem.#if you roll your eyes at the idea of working with libs then thats a problem.#the whole point should be increasing our numbers and diversity of views.#and bein passive aggressive or holier than thou is not gonna get you anywhere btw.#no amount of 'on the ground' activism will matter if you cant even increase the amount of ppl at whatever thing you're doing#you cant have the same group of 20 people do whatever and think thats enough#YOU need to figure out why you aren't appealing to more people and figure out how to fix that#and yeah- sometimes that means just saying the most basic progressive shit and not making people feel dumb or lesser than.#stop posting shit w the idea of 'omg this is going to lookso good and smart to my friends/discord' and start trying to figure out#how to look good and smart to the rest of the world too. and one of those steps is not acting like a patronizing know it all whos morally#superior to whomstever you're talking to.#oh and also posting on tumblr is virtually pointless if you're trying to do activism.#at best its a tool to educate ppl but most ppl on here already know shit about shit. you're better off posting on youtube. or if twitter wa#still twitter. which is partially the reason musk bought it bc it was helping open ppls eyes and conservatives hate that
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Hi ive just found this blog and i cant say ive ever thought of a percy jackson hermitcraft au but im love it and would love to let you info dumpanything you havent got to yet!
honestly I've been holding off a lot of things because I'm afraid to be met with "That's not plausible because that's not in the books!" when I've never really liked stricting myself to the books.
But thank you for stopping by :] (although I can't fully claim this AU is the first of its kind) And the opportunity? (Apologies for I'll use your ask for this INFODUMP )
about au au tag discord
The HaTO Discord obviously knows this, but Scar's parent is..... Gaea. I honestly didn't plan to go down this route at first, but when I considered Qrow's idea on it I decided to borrow it (I'm so sorry dad) because, it would actually..... seem cool?
Getting the "Gaea has been asleep in the void of Chaos for such a long time, how can Scar exist?!" out of the way, I'm copy pasting what I first wrote for it here since it's about time I let it leave the discord anyway;
Since Gaia is the earth itself. Just because she's asleep, doesn't mean she's completely incapable of interactions (from what I saw in the books anyway with the Leo stuff). Paired with the fact that Athena is capable of making children simply from thoughts, I thought maybe; what if Gaia could do that same?|
Imagine a mortal nature lover that spent most of their days advocating for the better well-being of the earth. How maybe they've always lived for the earth and with the earth? Maybe they were a farmer, a gardener. If the earth could feel the love its received, wouldn't it basically count as Gaia accepting some type of worship?
The same way how some gods would… gift children as a compliment or a blessing for their mortal partners, I thought maybe Gaia could basically will a baby out of a plant with the *cough* bodily.. fluids... (blood or.. whatever) that seeped into the earth. So I guess it's kinda like a 'babies come from a stork' story. So Scar's mortal parent would've basically been fine another day but would suddenly have their life turned upside down the next day as soon as they see a child in their garden they don't remember having.
Other than that, I thought it'd be cool to see a story following a child of Gaea that has to choose the destruction of their friends or the freedom of their mother.
Scar would've grown up to be a papa's boy ofc, but his dad has taught him to love nature and the earth so much that he honestly wouldn't mind the possiblity of being able to interact with the mom he's been taught to worship his entire life.
I'll stop there ugh I'm so noisy. If you want almost in-character stuff, there's a fake scanned letter of Satyr Doc talking about Scar.
#tw blood#Hermits and The Olympians#PJO AU#HoO AU#hermitcraft fanart#gtws#goodtimeswithscar#hermitcraft goodtimeswithscar#goodtimeswithscar fanart#hermitcraft#gtwscar fanart#gtwscar#Ichikarume Art#low quality doodles fuck#me being nerdge
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EVERYTHING WE KNOW ABOUT THE PHIGHTING APRIL FOOLS TOWER AS OF NOW, THIS WILL BE UPDATED AS MORE INFO IS DISCOVERED OR MORE THEORIES ARE MADE.
ok info about whats theorized to be medkits nightmare GO
Title of game : . (its a period)
Icon is the same as base game, background is the default one
The music playing is just overtime slowed down by a lot
1. MAP
You spawn on a road with sidewalks that have candles, you have a lantern in your inventory.
As you walk you will occasionally see an exit sign.
Halfway, pillars stretch up from the ground, most are normal but some are shaped like hands that reach to the sky. On top of the hands are weird figures with glowing green eyes and horns that look like something from the flaming horns series?
(thats the closest thing i could find,,,)
At the end of the road is the default Happy Home, though with minor modifications. An exit sign is right at the stairs and pointing at the door. Tube tvs are inside the home, a giant one at the middle against the wall with two stacks of tvs in the corners. The left side has one tv off, while the others are full of red static. They don't do anything when interacted with.
Note: This sorta resembles the thumbnail for scythe's teaser.
They also look like the TVs in broker's secret room (i reached the image limit so cant show ough)
Outside to the left and on top of the house are the same weird green eyed figures.
2. DIALOGUE
There are many figures running around saying various phrases,
phrases that ive seen:
"Help!"
"you traitor"
"do something"
"be useful"
"please help me"
"Useless support"
"Help me!"
"help"
"please just heal me"
"Please heal me"
"How's your eye?" (Idk if this is random dialogue or subspace dialogue)
Though, some of these figures are saying things from medkit ally dialogue.
Ingame dialogue phrases:
"Do I really want to work with a rebel on my team?" - Banhammer
"Hey!! Great seeing you!!" - Subspace
"How's that eye doing??" - Subspace
3. THE OVERSEER NEXTBOT OR SOMETHING IDK
You are chased by an overseer eye, it can't be stopped permanently. Though, it can be halted by positioning yourself in the right area, however, it has good pathing and can jump extremely high, so you can't hide from it.
Getting caught by it results in an image showing up on the screen, this rewards you a badge the first time you see it.
Random note: the eye is weirdly clean? im not sure if its medkit's eye or not since I remember soda saying that subspace just threw the eye away,, (not sure if this is still canon)
After this you get kicked from the game with the message "You must kill him to become him."
The interesting thing is that this is the description of the overseer eye cosmetic.
This probably means something like "you must kill overseer to become him" or something but what does that mean who is killing overseer huh what
↑ ok theories have been made (thank u discord user ankles0560 for the medkit part)
The one killing him might be either medkit or katana.
KATANA : there is dialogue between katana and ban hammer
Ban Hammer: "You can't get involved with the business of the dudes higher up." Katana: "And who will stop me?"
↑ I will expand on this later but im eepy rn help
MEDKIT : ok the whole thing is about Medkit so the kick message is probably the overseer eye talking to Medkit,,
Soda has said that if Katana knew more about Medkit, he would kill him. This could mean multiple things but very interesting hm
Another interesting thing is the jumpscare noise, it is a jumpscare noise used in old games.
The interesting part is what it is, the noise is actually the sound of the subspace tripmine slowed down, whether this was just coincidence or because of the subspace thing is unknown, it might even be both?
EXTRA . CHURCH OF THE TRUE EYE INFO
Not really related to the tower but just what we know about the cult
A religious group within lost temple, not everybody from lost temple is a member of it.
It is mentioned in Medkit's phone dialogue.
Every member of the cult is missing an eye.
Soda has mentioned that the reason why Sword's eye isn't missing is because he wasn't born in lost temple.
CORRECTION: Sword was born in lost temple, but wasn't raised in it. The point still stands that this is the reason why he hasn't lost an eye.
Based on dialogue between medkit and banhammer, it has been around for a while now. (THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME)
It is unknown what the goals or structure of the cult are currently.
They have a uniform, Medkit, Scythe, and Broker share the motif of outfits of mostly teal.
Scythe calls Vine Staff "blessed" in her dialogue with her, this is related to the cult somehow since in the same conversation Vine says "No! You and your creepy family can buzz off!"
^ According to broker, her curse is rare but she isn't the first one to have it.
They call themselves a family, and call Overseer their Father.
Overseer info:
There is barely any, but this is what we know.
They are referred to as a leader, it is unknown whether they are the faction leader or just the cult leader.
Scythe refers to him as a deity, whether they truly are one, manipulated the cult into believing they are, or the cult simply calls him a deity is unknown.
An alternative is that she isn't talking about overseer here at all, though if that is so we don't know if she's talking about a sfoth deity or a different one. ← if it is a sfoth deity, it is most likely to be darkheart or venomshank (or maybe even ghostwalker? idk)
btw soda said this. soda wdym
Feel free to add more info or things i missed/got wrong in reblogs or comments!!
pls do say more info if you have it im making this based on what the guys im theorizing with are saying i didnt have time to do more than 1 playthrough
#lynqueylink.txt :3#phighting!#roblox phighting#medkit phighting#scythe phighting#broker phighting#lost temple#phighting april fools#ask to tag ig?#overseer phighting#most of this info i got from the guy im theorizing with who played it like 6 times and took notes#subspace phighting#vine staff phighting
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stop calling mephone4 a child.
my credentials(/silly): mephone4’s biggest fan + someone who sees mephone as representative of myself. i am also an autistic adult. (relevant)
i went on an autistic tirade rambling about this in a discord server but i wanted to compile my reasoning and stuff here into a tumblr post because this is very important to me.
alright. lets start with the most commonly used argument.
calling mephone a child is ableist.
now i certainly agree that some children CAN act the way mephone does. however, i think it’s harmful when your ONLY argument as to why he is a child is ‘because he cant spell’ or ‘because he creates fantasy worlds in his brain as a means of escapism.’
I think the issue is, we are reducing these very real symptoms of mental disorders to ‘oh he’s just acting childish,’ instead of understanding them for what they are. autism and dyslexia are not cured the second you turn 18. it doesn’t work that way. giving in to the stereotype that only children can act this way… i dunno man. it really rubs me the wrong way.
i think it’d be better to view him as an adult with these symptoms because, well, VERY rarely do we ever get representation of an adult with mental disorders in media. at least not in a way that’s not villainizing them or mocking/infantilizing them. (sidebar, mephone IS NOT THE VILLAIN. he did bad things, yes, and should be held accountable for it, but he is NOT. THE VILLAIN. he is an abuse victim, and his way of acting is actually very good representation of the way abuse victims may go on to mimic actions of their abuser.) cobs (mephone’s abuser btw) LITERALLY infantilizes mephone IN CANON. IN THE SHOW. WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO COBS. WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE COBS.
bro didnt go to school
i didnt know how to title this section. basically, people reducing him to a child because he doesn’t know adult things are MISSING THE POINT.
HE WAS RAISED BY COBS.
do you think cobs had ANY interest in teaching him ANYTHING about the real world? about how to be an adult? about how to ride a bike or pay taxes? NO. dude popped into existence knowing nothing except what Cobs WANTED him to know. he was meant to just work for Cobs and do tasks all the time and that was IT. OF COURSE his knowledge is going to be limited to what Cobs taught him. that DOES NOT make someone a child. GO REWATCH THE SHOWWWW.
suspend your disbelief for once in your life oh my god
i dont understand how people are able to suspend disbelief for LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE in fiction. such as murder/death, supernatural creatures, the universe itself as a whole, etc. but when it comes to age, the real world standards MUST be applied, no exception. Like since Mephone was canonically created 14 years ago in-universe that means he is 14 years old. we are completely ignoring the fact he is a fictional talking sentient phone robot for a minute.
and adding in the ‘he acts like a child’ argument for a second… season 1. what 1 year old do you know that can walk and talk and create an entire game show?? he has practically acted the EXACT SAME WAY his entire existence, therefore that argument falls completely flat.
it would be DIFFERENT if in-universe they had established rules, where this age means this and that age means that, but the ii universe DOES NOT HAVE THAT. meaning people are free to interpret age however they want. it would ALSO be different if mephone was canonically stated to be a child (we’re getting to that) OR portrayed to be childcoded. which…. he isn’t.
okay so by these rules all of the contestants are younger than mephone.
the agreement amongst child mephone believers seems to be ‘creation date = birth date = real age’. so bot is like 3 years old. the unvitationals are like 2. all the contestants are somewhere between like 4-14. but wait- some season 1 contestants ACT older or younger than the others? no. no theyre ALL 13-14 only. no exceptions. every newbie in season 3 is like 4-5. every newbie in season 2 is like 10. makes perfect sense.
do you understand how ridiculous that is. WE CANNOT , i repeat, CANNOT APPLY REAL WORLD STANDARDS TO A FICTIONAL UNIVERSE. oh my god. they are holograms. they are robots. they are in a weird plane floating in the vastness of space that has a picnic table that can generate food, and the ability to revive dead people, and ghosts and talking corn and. and all of THAT is fine. but god forbid someone interpret the talking phone as an adult. I DONT GET IT.
b-b-but cobs called mephone a child…
once again, common arguement. i strike thee down with a ‘MANIPULATION TACTIC.’ i feel like this has been covered enough and better in other mephone rambles so im not gonna get into it.
personal section
this is more of a personal experiences and opinions thing. less based on fact. agree or disagree idc this is just my experience.
once again, like i stated in the beginning, i see myself in mephone. a lot. I am an adult. i have autism. i have the tendency to act ‘childish’ sometimes due to my condition. im bad at being an adult. i struggle with tasks that are probably easy for other adults. i’m not a child. it’s very disheartening- i WANT to be viewed as an independent functioning adult, despite my condition, but when even a FICTIONAL PHONE who acts just like i do gets reduced to ‘child’ because he acts similarly to someone who’s mentally ill and has been abused. it HURTS MAN. he’s just trying his best:[
anyways conclusion
idc. you can headcanon whatever you want cause technically nothing is confirmed, but this is more food for thought for the people immediately jumping on the ‘child mephone’ bandwagon.
unless someone is canonically stated to be a child or is very heavily child coded, i don’t think its wrong for people to interpret them as an adult.
if sometime in the future mephone is canonically confirmed to be a child like. in universe. ill probably be disappointed.
i am a firm believer in age doesnt work the same way in ii as it does in our universe. theyre all fictional creatures. they were not created by conventional means. you dont have to apply our world’s standards to it.
anyways uhh. ramble over lol
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when you hear someone say "this comic ruined my life and made me unable to accept my identity!" and you think itll be something like
but in reality its fucking this
#everyone ever saw boyfriends and said THIS COMIC IS THE WORST THING EVER I HATE IT SO MUCH#meanwhile the comic is literally the most tame boring thing ever and is LITERALLY JUST LIKE EVERY SINGLE OTHER#FLUFFY BOYS LOVE ON FUCKING WEBTOON#at the very least i cant blame anyone for hating the webtoon ads or the way that webtoon is obsessed with this comic#but the comic itself? its NOTHING. NOTHING HAPPENS. ITS LIKE 100 PAGES OF 0 THINGS HAPPENING#my post#ignore me#// transphobia#// stonetoss#sorry for using a shitlord nazis comic but like... thats literally what it sounds like when people talk about boyfriends#they sound like theyre talking about the type of shit a guy like pebblefuck would make#this isnt even coming from nowhere i literally used to read and like the boyfriends comic! it was cute! it was fine! whatever!#i stopped reading it because fluff comics get so fucking boring after a while! because nothing! fucking! happens!#the maturity tag is literally because of the transphobic imagery. sadly tumblr doesnt have image censors like discord#i know its not my place to tell someone about their own experience but ive literally had people tell me that the boyfriends comic made them#unable to accept their own queer identity and im like ??? how??? what happens in it??? that caused that???#ive heard people say its fetishistic but that was mostly terfs who were being transphobic against the creator#transphobia#i know this is a weirdly mean spirited post for me to make but like. whatever#transmisogny tw#transmisogny#<- at the very least im trying to tag so people can choose not to see the top image ajfjs
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General consensus so far seems to be “rather mean spirited out of nowhere” “oddly invested in what other people masturbate too” and one trans butch on discord saying that after all the fics that made her feel desirable and comfortable in her body, seeing that happen in your fic and treated like a terrible joke was “a slap to the face”
Not sure if this was the discourse you were eager to invite but uh, a few trans authors are a bit snippy about this after you came after their fics like that
all id really ask is that they like. talk to me. i know i cant avoid people talking about me i knew this when i was writing it, but frankly some of the divide is coming from people assuming my issue is like, with trans women being seen as sexually desirable at all. and not the vast majority of that content being completely alien to that group of people. for every trans woman who writes it or reads it theres another who feels like shes being seen as a joke or their body is being completely misunderstood
of course this isnt the exact conversation i hoped would happen but i still ask if anyone who didnt like it tell me to my face and not act like i did this instead of touching grass or whatever. it feels like it came out of no where because ive been sitting on it for a while. its a compounding issue ive seen in a number of fandoms. and at the end of the day, nothing i say or do can stop thm from writing it, so i dont even want to try it. im just frustrated
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diff anon but what fandoms did you meet your close moots through? i don’t know if that counts as indy lore
that counts! more under the cut. i wanted to talk about all my mutuals
@its-clockwork-princess one of my best, oldest, and dearest friends. years and years of friendship, roleplay, fanfiction, writing. every time i see a duo on screen or in any media my first thought is always her and my second thought is always “us.” we went through a thousand different fandoms and i can’t remember our first but we definitely bonded heavily over fandoms like marvel, dc, and fnaf at the very early stages of our friendship. her dad was actually dating my mom for a long time, which gave us plenty of time together. literally cant even summarize everything we’ve gone through together, everything we’ve built, seriously been friends for a decade and i plan on staying that way for the rest of my life. i cant imagine my life without her, how bleak and colorless it would’ve been. i’m honored to know such a generous and kind person, and someone who helped shape me into who i am today. a love truly unconditional.
@ohgodmyeyes loved his takes on anakin, thought he was so real and so down to earth even though he could stand to be more egotistical considering how talented he is. i think about a certain post he made about anakin -> vader's dick literally once a day. i'm not even exaggerating at all when i say it was my roman empire. in just that small amount of time i was taught his quiet confidence, his exquisite way with words, and his unapologetic thought process. i maintain a distance from him because i'm playing the long game and from what i've seen on his personal posts i feel like he might be overwhelmed if i come on too strong, as i often do. but that doesn't stop me from grinning every time i see him in my notifs and i get to think, "this message was approved by ohgodmyeyes." very proudly.
@somuchfrstardust we talked in the comment section of anakin edits on tiktok i feel like and then i was like "hey wanna be friends" and we haven't talked in a while but that's totally cool, that's just how i am. i still consider them my friend i think they're a rly cool person.
@banakinbabygirl was one of the first anakin/hayden blogs i followed, i love how they write smut. it's a very emotional way of writing, very heavy on the descriptions and realistic reactions that drew me in and kept me there.
@starmanskywalker is one of my favorite writers in general. anything on her masterlist is an instant recommendation from me, instant like, instant reblog, instant indy review. i'm such a jealous person in general but the way i feel about alanis' writing is beyond jealousy. it's admiration, it's fondness, it's awe. i don’t feel envious i feel fulfilled. i was very proud to become her mutual, her friend, be on a first name basis with her, and write fanfiction with her. we have a collab we've been working on for a while but because we're both so busy and it's such a big project it takes a lot of time and a lot of love, but i'm still so excited for the day it's finished and can be published.
@xstarkillerx is so much more than a person i met on the internet. truly one of my best friends, and i can’t imagine not having him in my life. there’s so much i can say that i have actually already said on this blog before. donnie has a way with seeing the world i just love to hear about. i’ll ask his opinions and experiences on everything simply to hear what he, specifically, has to say about it. when we have conversations inhibitions are left at the door for the both of us instead of just me. i feel skinless, muscle-less, body-less with donnie. an entity obsessed with him on discord as we write novels to each other, sonnets about how we view the world and its fictions. donnie is my bread and butter, and i’m so glad i found him and stalked him and forced him to be my friend and now he’s reliant on me just like i want.
@weixuldo such a sweet person and very understanding of me and my boundaries. i first found wei’s blog through their fanart of darth vader which i loved so much i sent every single one of their posts to my best friend who i mentioned at the beginning of this post. i still go back to look at those works every so often to brush up on my love for them. such a talented artist i’m very happy i’m worthy of a follow back, and that we enjoy each other’s content.
@mcondance i met through hobie brown back in june 2022. i loved how they kept luring me to their page by mentioning me and my hobie works they kept reading, i swear they were using my vanity as bait and it worked. they are, genuinely, so fucking funny. i only have friends that are funny don’t get me wrong, but there’s something about jupie that when i’m talking about them to other people, that person is like “omg jupie is so funny.” like. jupie just transcends my sense of humor to other people’s. they’re funny to the masses. i’m very bad at texting, but jupie is a person i try to reach out to so they know i’m virtually loving on them. they like the attention. another writer i’m so pleased to be mutuals with when they’re so skilled at the part of writing i always feel like i’m most wooden at. the side of smut writing that takes feeling and sensation and even an edge of genuine horniness, jupie is so good at translating that onto a page.
@murdrdocs is another mutual i gained from the height of the hobie brown era and i believe i saw her content through jupie’s page. now we don’t get to talk too much but that doesn’t mean i don’t think she’s not a super cool person. i don’t read much, but the things i do get to read specifically on icarus’ page make me very proud to be her mutual. not only is she an accomplished and gorgeous writer, but her blog designs are always envy-inducing. she shifts her aesthetics so seamlessly—even tho i know how changing a theme can be draining and time-consuming—and it’s always easy on the eyes. her navigation is especially creative and i’ll never forget her newspaper clipping themed announcement for last kinktober.
@princessbrunette another writer i’m constantly in awe of. i met her through her anakin works, and invited myself onto her kinktober taglist when she was still a relatively new blog that’s how much i was instantly attracted to her work. her style is so distinct and so refined, i can overlook non canon work because hers is just that good. she’s also very funny, and has a gifted silver tongue. i’m always impressed with how she’s able to paint a picture in her pieces using nothing but the most concise and visualizing words. it’s not often that i watch something because a friend watched it, but i watched obx for her so i could still enjoy her work that’s how much i love it. our universes we create in our dms are so special to me.
@empiresheir was someone i met through their anakin one-shot about order 66 which i’ve reblogged several times and it’ll never be enough. it was such a good piece i gave live updates to my best friend who was reading it too. i sent those screenshots to her orc cos she deserved to know what i had to say. she was also an essential help when i was writing my kinktober project, kind enough to read my pieces and give me line by line feedback just like i like so i wouldn’t go crazy from lack of attention on pieces i couldn’t post til october. not only another talented and powerful writer (capable of dropping my jaw at how insanely good she is at wording things), but such a sweet person to talk to. and though she’s not active in the fandom anymore i think of her fondly and i hope she’s having such a good time with baldur’s gate.
@darthvvder had a collection of anakin drabbles that i found on wattpad of all places and i was amazed at what i read. thoroughly impressed by the physical reactions her works were eliciting in me. got me to care about smut tropes i hadn’t cared about before simply bcos she was so good at writing them. i posted about a line that gripped me and she commented that it was her, i followed and the rest is history.
@jarebare99 is my boyfriend :) he gets an honorary mention. i wrote him an entire book of poetry and my thoughts on him so he can read that if he’s feeling left out from everyone getting paragraphs. i met him in irl not through a fandom but idc.
@ddejavvu was someone i’d see in my notifications including my inbox every so often and she was very recognizable. i really can’t remember how us being mutuals happened? i’d like to say i somehow discovered she wrote and wrote well and once i began noticing i consistently liked her content then i followed and lo and behold she was following me too. mei is very respectful of my space and i like that she texts me without expecting an answer back bcos i like to read her updates and don’t always know what to say. i have some of her inbox messages i gatekeep and i go back and read them every so often and think about how diabolical it would be if i answered them and floored the world, but i have yet to be ready to share the genius.
@anakincentric technically through anakin. even though we don’t talk much bcos both of us have really similar no-contact ways that doesn’t mean i don’t think she’s real sweet. i like when she pops in, drops a banger, and then peaces out. like a disney cameo appearance.
@harrisonbrainrot i wanna say han/indiana. i feel like i was already following his blog because i got to read some of his stuff when i was in a han mood and was like, “yea, this guy gets it.” and then when we reconnected in the comments of someone else’s post, i told him i was a big fan which was true, and then wham bam thank you ma’am mutuals. i have no idea if he knew who i was before or if he was following me, but he’s cool asf. not only is he hot and chill, he’s also really kind with me about not texting. a very generous soul who let me use his crunchyroll to watch jjk out of the goodness of his heart, which i am kissing him for. one of the rare writer’s on here who’s unapologetic in the shit they say, which i always admire and prioritize in who i choose to follow. love his han characterization, so when he’s reblogged a han work of mine, i believe it’s been christened by the harrison ford pope.
@anitheus tagging this blog bcos it’s what i followed first but i also follow her other account @silxani because i love her art style. i love how she draws anakin every time. her spider-sam fanart, and her nsfw anakin works are my favorite, as well as the fanart she made of us for my birthday. gorgeous art style i could look at all day, and i like her personality when we text.
@ivysangel i wanna say it was dc comics but i can’t remember the character, might’ve been jason todd. she came for the dc, and stayed for the other stuff including my general tomfoolery. she flatters me with kind words about how i’ve influenced her, which always makes me soft. we have a lot in common, which is always so much fun to compare, and i love that she watched batman beyond when i recommended it even though i wasn’t expecting her to a) do it and b) love it. she’s aware and respectful of my boundaries when it comes to sharing my ideas which i appreciate, and i love seeing her in my inbox. we haven’t had enough time together for me to nail down everything i like about her, but i will.
@loveliestlovelygirl eloise caught me by surprise bcos it’s not often i get instantly hooked, or at least it hasn’t been that way for a while. i haven’t been in an anakin mood for a while, but i still reblog her works instantly so i can get to it later because i know i’ll like it even though i haven’t read it. idk much about her, but her theme makes me bonkers jealous. it’s so beautiful. like her chapter HTML for her fallen angel au makes me drool.
@psuedosis newest mutual. her reaction towards me made me instantly endeared, and i loved her jet works. some zuko pieces as well! hit at the right time bcos i just finished atla animated. very excited to get to know her more.
boom. indy lore and extensive thoughts on tumblr mutuals.
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What your spooky month pfp says about you!
all my muts @mayisgoingnuts @bulldog-geckorahhhhh @candyclazzyashton @0pumpkinpie @lolipoptheclown @roy-shenanigans whoooo!
(note im not a expert on people and why they like things so if you cant relate to some of these go talk to god or something idk) (one more thing no images cuz my computer sucks and it takes forever)
kevin: overworked, overstimulated, underpaid, GAY next
skid: you are a being of complete destruction for no reason other than ''I can and I will'' and the ADHD of the two.
pump: you also are a being of conplete destruction for no reason other than ''I can and I will" you also dont have autism you have ''awwwtisum''.
happy fella: you took that ''imma little trash rat'' to heart and i love you for that.
bob: you either like him cuz hes you energy or your that ''i wanna fuck your beekeeping dad" meme.
lila: you are the mom of the group or you wish your mom was like her.
father gregor: im forced to think your also a gf fan cuz ant no way your not a MASSIVE yoai shipper also 85% chance your a mad gilf lover.
skids dad: you prob started a cult on discord when you were 12 for funnsies.
moluch: you kin him cuz you got mad anger issues you also are that ''i eat kids'' meme.
roy: your 90% of sm fans you most definitely got that cartman swagg and im willing to bet you say something like ''i will cry scream and through up in that order if xyandz doesn't happen'' same babe same.
ross: you took the one guy with the least voice lines out of anybody and went like ''i love him i love him so much''.
robert: your cool and better than them all. * cough cough awwwtisum
streber: ok i went over this list like 30 times in my head and all i could think is yaoi shipper cuz like he looks cool, he likes Halloween, hes gay and he got de armed those first three things ARE LITTERLY ALL OF US.
frank: stop now bad no STOP SIMMPING HE KIDNAPPS CHILDREN BAD NO.
the clown: clownergy.
john: yaoi shipper but depressed.
jack: basic sorry.
dexter: dog person, autistic.
patty: depressed also youd be like the bill has a gun meme if you had a gun. *cough cough lesbian
candy dealer: you dissapoint me like HES JUST A FUCKING HAT YOU ARE SIMPING FOR A FUCKING HAT????????????????.
juan: you like lesbians, as you should as you should.
radford: you like one of the better ships, idk he cool.
roys mom: you looked at the 20sec she was on screen and went like "i mean shes an asshole but DAMM IS SHE FINE" which same my pfp would be her if i didint like robert more.
the guy who keeps quitting his job (i forgor his name): you gave up before you even started: hes one of the smarter ones tbh bro went like ''im not gonna get murderd over a shitty underpaying candy job fuck this".
alright thats all i could think of. if i missed any let me know and i might make a part two. i hope some of you are offended i want all the smoke losers.
#memes#spooky month#bob velseb#afternoon quil#ross spooky month#shitpost#robert spooky month#roy spooky month#lila#all the other ones#mutuals#what you pfp says about you
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You know the posts recently about bbh neg on twter, the timing of it with that going on, makes me want to hurl, they don't give a shit about "victims" or the real issues. They just want to dunk on the next cc they hate using the current "momentum".
You know what, I say let them go ahead and try to "cancel" Bad, really, go ahead. They're just regurgitating shit DSMP fans has said over the years again and again about Bad. Its fcking funny actually. Oh not forgetting they had to invent new ones or ones THAT THEIR FAVES HAVE DONE TOO BTW, to "cancel" Bad. To think I was looking forward to QSMP fans being "healthier" or "better" than DSMP ones, oh boy am I sorely disappointed.
Let them run their mouths about Bad. Cuz I'm 100% sure the CCs , QSMP admins, and Quackity give 0 shit about them. Etoiles knows and has already expressed how he knows that Bad is overly hated by the fandom and how he receives neg on the daily. Despite knowing that, he's still cordial with Bad. And he even expressed how he tries to not be "angry" or "frustrated" at Bad or else the parasocial fucks will come running to "defend" him from "evil" BBH when he has said a million times over that its not a fcking big deal, and hes just expressing himself NOT IN A NEG WAY. but noooo parasocial fucks be like "oh no my skunkrly wrunkly his feelings got hurt oh no" same shit with foolish fans. Fcking blind af. Esp the new ones who hasnt experienced the prank wars in dsmp. Fcking joyless fucks who cant handle a fcking block game that theyre not even playing. But thankfully, Etoiles stopped being so concerned, and well, yk with Foolish lmao same old same old.
(Disclaimer: SOME FANS NOT ALL, IM TALKING ABOUT THE TOXIC PARASOCIAL FUCKS, YES EVEN THE BIG ACCOUNTS ON TWITTER WITH THOUSANDS OF FOLLOWERS. You know who. Big numbers doesn't mean they're more RIGHT. A parasocial fuck is a parasocial fuck. Also, when I say parasocial, I mean the ones who are toxic and project themselves onto the CC. Being parasocial is fine, if it's the healthy kind, if you know what I mean)
I digress, there's no fcking unfollows or subtweets from CCs to Bad, unlike with D or F. In fact, some CCs and CLOSE FRIENDS of Bad's have always praised Bad and defended him TO THIS DAY. If that is not enough of an indication of how unproblematic he is, Idk what else to say. Just fuck off and live a life in constant misery and hatred ig. That's why don't respond to fucks like that. Just mute em. They can yap all they want but it means SHIT ALL if you don't see it. BBH's community is WAY WAY smaller than the whole fandom (and theres wayyy more toxic fucks) so bbhs community saying shit back to the toxic shits will also mean SHIT ALL. They CLEARLY don't watch Bad anyways so what's the point. Better way to deal with this shit is fight the misinformation, that's all. Spread more positivity and give ppl FULL context and CORRECT information. If you see some shit against Bad, report it and send it to whatever ban list qsmp uses. Send it to mods or something. Ik that Bagi's discord has something like that.
Oh but ppl be like /rp or /lh or "it's just my opinion", who gives a shit. Still report them. We're not dumb. The mods or whoever admins are not dumb. That negative toxic fuck smell on it, is fcking obvious enough.
STOP GIVING THEM ENGAGEMENTS. We can happily stay in each others bubbles without ever talking to each other, AND THAT IS FINE. Don't let the negative fucks in. Mute and report them, and I guarantee you, that fcking stranger on the Internet, you'll forget within DAYS. those fuckers won't even exist to you, vice versa.
THEIR WORDS HOLD NO POWER OVER YOU OR THE QSMP COMMUNITY. KEEP THE QSMP COMMUNITY HEALTY AND SAFE. Fuck them toxic shits.
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