#i know i spelled that wrong its dyslexia hell word | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

emmabnn · 5 years ago

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- A Brutal Rip in Reality -

- A Brutal Rip in Reality -

- 𝙎𝙪𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙖𝙡 𝙁𝙖𝙣𝙁𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 -

*ongoing *word count so far: +/- 32K

Description:

This story is about Lilly-Mae, a not so usual twenty-five-year-old, who enjoys the risky things in life with her best friend Thomas. Exploring other dimensions was something they did often -- until they ended up in a place they rather didn't. A world crawling with the Supernatural. Lucky for them, in that world, heroes without capes risk their lives daily to get rid of those nasty creatures. They call themselves hunters. --

- ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ - This being a supernatural fan-fiction, there is gonna be blood, torture, gory detailed scenes, there might be mentioning of depression, self-harm, suicide,... --

- ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ɪɴꜰᴏ - Ongoing #Supernatural fan-fiction that doesn't follow the show so the boys are younger - they're twenty-seven and thirty-one but you'll see that the bunker is already introduced, people that are dead might still be alive, they already know characters they technically didn't know at that age. It'll end up leaning towards a Castiel/fic, but it will have a rather slow build-up. This as originally posed on Wattpad (@Confused_cas)

Lilly-Mae and Thomas Reed are my own original characters. If you're interested in seeing a visual representation of Lilly-Mae you might want to look up; Laurel Toma. --

- ᴍᴇ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ɪɴꜱᴇᴄᴜʀᴇ - Keep in mind, I'm a mediocre writer with dyslexia, so take spelling mistakes lightly... I pour my heart and soul into this story... If you feel the need to correct an error, feel free to do so, but be nice, please... ( '́з'̀)

𝑀𝓊𝒸𝒽 𝓁❁𝓋𝑒, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝑒𝓃𝒿❁𝓎

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚗𝚎: 𝙰 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚘 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 -

A thin blanket of morning dawn hung over the fields of Mr. Joseph's farm. That spiteful rooster that caused me to wake up from my sleep in the most brutal manner, was once again singing whatever hell song he sang every morning. Singing is too polite, rather screaming, although the sun wasn't supposed to come up for another hour.

My bare feet ran through the damp grass while the cold morning air danced between my locks of dark brown hair. Causing goosebumps to cover my entire body.

About ten minutes ago, Thomas sent me a text asking to meet him in the barn of the farmer, also known as Thoms dad. His father knew we spent time together at the barn, which he didn't like. I lost count of the amount of times he caught us and I had to ran home so quick that my own feet couldn't follow.

It was an emergency, Thom said, so I was in a hurry. So much so that I left the house without shoes, still in my pajamas. His message sounded pretty serious, only another reason for me to be more curious than a child on Christmas morning. When the barn finally appeared on the horizon, I could feel my stomach do a back flip, filling itself with butterflies. Their wings fluttering, causing healthy tingles to flow through me. The feeling caused my cheeks to burn, leaving them completely red behind.

What Thom and I had was unique. We've known each other for the longest time. We practically grew up together. Which, made the situation only more complicated.

'He's like a brother to you.'

That was the sentence I forced myself to believe. Though, the fact that I obligated myself to not have feelings for him spoke for itself.

Out of breath and gasping for air, I finally arrived at the typical red barn. Carefully I crawled through one of the planks that had come loose months ago during a wild storm.

"Thom?" I asked softly, expecting a response. Moonlight shone through the many cracks in the wood, creating just enough light for me to be able to see. Except for some old boxes, a broken-down tractor that has been here for as long as I can remember and some hay was there nothing special to see.

"Thomas?" Sounded my voice again, louder this time. Once again, no answer. A short-annoyed sigh escaped from in-between my lips. This wasn't the first time he would text me, asking me to join him, only for him to hide and scare me. Once he didn't even show up, he pranked me, while he was still in his cozy bed at home, probably laughing at me for falling for his "prank".

"Dammit Thomas, you're 25 years old, cut the crap." I snapped, and decided to take a seat on the hay covered floor, leaning against the tractor. To be fair, I'm not the sportiest person, and running all that way got me exhausted. Apart from my heavy breathing, was there no other sound to be heard. No cars driving past, not a single cricket in the tall grass. Even that spiteful rooster went quiet. That was when I realized the weird atmosphere around me. It was cold -- but not just the frisky type of cold. A chill that creates tiny clouds when you exhale. It left your nails blue. At that same time, I had trouble breathing, as the only air filling my lungs was the dry and warm desert kind of air. Black spots started appearing in front of my eyes, obstructing my vision. It consumed me and dragged me into a fear I've never felt before.

Two hands on my shoulders shook me awake from the panic I was drowning in. Greeted by two electric blue eyes was I slowly returning to earth. His lips were moving, but there were no words coming out. Murmur was the only thing I could hear, until I finally fully returned, both feet back in reality.

"Thom?" I asked, mumbling.

"Lilly-Mae, everything okay? You look like you just saw a ghost." A small chuckle in his voice that tried to cover his concern. That however, didn't work on me. He was kneeling in front of me, right at my eye level, inches away from my face. He managed to get me back on my feet. "Lilly?" He asked again, looking for an answer as his fingertips gently brushed a strand of hair out of my face, causing those tingles to start flowing.

"You crazy? You know you can't leave me alone here." I snapped at him, and flung his hand away from me. My reaction was pretty dramatic, but that way I was able to hide those feelings deep within me. I didn't fully lie though, that what just happened was an attack. I have those sometimes, but especially here, where the walls between worlds are thin. When I've an attack, it's like my soul already made the step into the dream world, while my body is stuck in reality. I see, smell and hear things at the other side.

"Sorry... didn't mean to leave you alone, I was um -- looking at the dream world portal, it's... different than usual." He said unsure. "What do you mean, different?"

"The color, it's orange?" I frowned my eyebrows at his response. Orange? Usually they're blue, sometimes purple... but orange -- what could that mean? My stomach turned, I didn't have a good feeling about this, but my curiosity got the better of me.

We started walking towards the portals' location, which was also in a different place than usual. "Maybe we end up on a subtropical island this time." Thomas said laughing, but I didn't react because I was still trying to shake that terrible feeling from before, unsuccessfully. The portal appeared under the roof of the barn, truly an odd place. "It has never appeared here, and that color..." I whispered worriedly. My concern made the tall man next to me laugh. "The color and different location is what makes you uneasy? But you're cool with the fact that portals to other dimensions exist?" He had a point, nothing about traveling through them was normal, yet we've been doing it for years.

"You wanna go take a peek?" Thom asked curiously, inches away from the orange crack in time and space. It was beautiful, lively -- yet something just didn't feel right. The palms of my hand started to sweat; Thom was getting too close to it for my liking.

"I -- I don't know, something's off."

"Oh, you and your premonitions. Let's just go and see, we know how these things work, Lilly. Just -- relax." Relax? Relax my ass. That one word was enough for me to get annoyed. "How many times have my premonitions been wrong?" I asked in defense.

"We don't know that, because we always listen to it. C'mon, let's do something risky for once?" His puppy eyes shimmering with the orange light of the portal. "Once? As if traveling to other dimensions isn't risky enough on its own." An angry sigh escaped me, and with crossed arms I decided to create more space between me and the crack. "You do what you want, I'm gonna see what's on the other side."

"Thomas." I growled his name as a warning. His blue eyes that were looking at me were playful as his hand reached towards the portal.

His gesture made my glare drift towards the orange light while that bizarre feeling plunged me again. A force pulled my soul back in a roller coaster of images, feelings and smells that I didn't sign up for. An image of a cold, dark place hit me on the back of the head. Walls dripping in blood, meat hooks decorated with body parts hung from the ceiling in rows. It looked like a scene straight out of a horror movie. The room came to life with jerky movements that caused me to feel sick. People with bizarre long cloaks entered the room, their faces hidden behind masks -- no, there were no masks. Their faces were deformed. They all took a seat on chairs that stood in the room in a half circle, all pointing towards the center. Their distorted faces that you rather didn't encounter flashed before my eyes as nauseating laughter filled my ears. Another flash, my eyes now focused on what the creatures were looking at. In the middle of the room, a woman strapped with her hands above her head held by one of the meat hooks. Her once blonde hair hung in front of her face, drenched in her own blood.

The atmosphere in the room how ever, was filled with joy, impatience and hunger. Another man entered the room, he ripped what was left of her clothing off her body and I did everything I could to wake up. Everything to return back to reality, my own world -- but it was impossible. The man started to speak, and when I realized what was going on at the other side of the portal, I collapsed.

"No!" I cried out, once again was Thom able to put me on my both feet. "Lilly!" He roared, and my eyes flew open. "We can't go there -- we can't! It's dark there and -- there are bad things there -- they do things they shouldn't Thom! Please -- let's just go back home, please?" I was able to stand somewhat straight up, mumbling, both my hands-on Thomas's shoulders for support. Tears rolling down my cheeks as salty waterfalls. Although I was awake in this reality, I didn't have control over my body. I kept on walking towards him, feet stumbling over every little obstacle on the floor. "Let's just go home, Thom... please."

"Lilly -- stop, what are you doing?" He looked terrified, but my feet didn't stop moving. I wanted to get closer and closer to him, while he just moved further and further away from me. "If we go to that place, we won't be able to make it back." I whispered.

Before realizing it myself, my foot got caught on one of the protruding nails of the wooden floor.

"Lilly!"

I pushed Thomas through the portal, and fell behind him.

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚠𝚘: 𝙽𝚘 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 -

Orange light flashes flew passed me as we were making the fall to the other dimension. I wanted to scream, cry out for help, but the lack of oxygen made that impossible. It was as if we were surrounded by flames that could burn us any second, but they didn't. The contrary, the tunnel of the portal opened up, becoming wider. Revealing its true beauty. The flames took on a different form, a warm sunset. It reminded me of the evenings Thomas and I would spend together, sitting on the roof of the barn. The memory playing in my head took the focus off the horrible pain I was in. Because traveling through something supernatural comes with an expensive price tag.

A hard-concrete floor broke my fall, rolling, scraping, I finally came to a stop, but not without injuries. The palms of my hands bleeding, the thin fabric of my pajamas ripped in some places, revealing my damaged skin that was coated in a thin layer of blood. Gasping for air, I felt my heart beating in a fast and unsteady rhythm. The oxygen that filled my lungs was accompanied by an odor that was familiar to me. Sweat, blood and rotting flesh was polluting the air. Without even having to look, I knew exactly where I was.

When I finally found my courage I looked up, and was confronted with my speculations. Rusted meat hooks hung above me, the body part attached to it fresh, still dripping blood that was collecting in a puddle right in front of me. My vision however wasn't completely correct. The room was empty, but the chairs where the people with distorted faces sat on, were present.

'I have to get out of here.' Was the first thing that came to mind, but that plan, or more so idea was brutally ripped from my mind when the door opened.

"What do we have here?" Sounded a voice, coming from behind me. It knocked the air out of my lungs as I turned around anxiously. The man I saw in my vision earlier, the one that ripped the last pieces of clothing of that poor woman's body stood before me. A wicked grin on his face.

"Got lost, sweetheart?" He asked -- I wanted to answer, try to make up and excuse, but I knew it was too late for that. This was his property, his personal mousetrap, and I walked right into it. The lump in my throat made of fear was too big and I wasn't even able to make a sound that was supposed to represent a word.

"Don't worry, I'll take good care of you." He said in a warm voice, which completely threw me off. His sympathetic speech gave me hope for a split-second. Hope that I could make it out alive. However, all of that disappeared when I saw him reach for a rope. He walked towards me, suggesting that I joined him in the middle of the room, but when my body didn't respond quick enough, he pulled at my arm. My weak legs almost gave away due to his brute force.

"No worries, I won't hurt you -- besides, such a pretty face, it would be a shame. I won't ruin what is going to make me a lot of money." I stood inches from his body that was easily twice the size of mine. His hands looked like they could break bones with ease. Still speechless, I looked up at him, my light brown eyes in contact with his -- orange eyes? He wasn't human -- humans don't have orange eyes.

His words about how I was gonna make him a lot of money were still on my mind, until the confusion finally rolled off my tongue.

"Money?"

"No worries." He said again in his warm, comforting voice as he tied my hands together, to then hang me with the rope on one of the hooks, my hands high above my head.

"What's your name?" He asked.

"Lilly -- Lilly-Mae." I exhaled. "Pleasure to meet you, Lilly. If I'm allowed to call you that. Now, how old are you?"

"Twenty-five."

"Magnificent." His hand held my right cheek for a moment as he looked in my eyes, as if he was hopelessly in love with me. As if he had known me for years. But I knew better, he wasn't looking at me, he was dreaming about the cash I'd make him.

"Lilly-" He said, squishing my cheeks briefly, causing a soft pulling pain. "I'll be right back, with some company who would love to meet you." He did as he told and disappeared not much later, causing the silence to return to the room once the door was closed behind him. My eyes looked up, at the hook that was covered in a thin layer of dried blood, that held me tightly in place. My nails were already turning blue due to the lack of blood flow, my mind filled with thoughts.

Thomas, he also fell through, I'm not alone, he must be here somewhere -- but where? I felt bad that the first thing on my mind was the fact that he could save me, and not that I was concerned about his safety. He wasn't in this room, who knows what they will do to him when they find him?

We were caught in an auction house, a twisted one where they sell people instead of old crappy art. All I had left was my best friend to save me of whom I didn't even know was still alive. With my eyes pointed back to the concrete floor, I took a deep breath.

"Crap..."

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎: 𝟻 𝟺 𝟹 𝟸 𝟷 -

With my mind on zero, my eyes were fixed on the door in front of me and my ears focused on every sound they could pick up. Honestly, I had no clue what I was doing. Searching for a solution was impossible. Praying? Useless. Hoping for a miracle was pathetic, and I had no intentions of spending my last day on earth, being pathetic.

My senses dominated me. Smell, taste, hearing, vision, touch. I wanted to spend my last day on earth, human. The rotting blood scent filled my lungs and a similar taste settled on my tongue. The sound of restless movements and blurry conversations that took place at the other side of the door filled my ears. My eyes, which allowed me to see, absorbed all the color it encountered. There weren't many in this rather dark room, but when they came across a small flower pot that stood on a desk in the corner of my room, my pupils grew interested. The plant that once stood in it, had long since died. But the color of the pot itself caught my attention. Mikado yellow, a beautiful, vibrant yellow color that reminded me of sunflower fields, or the sun in a child's drawing. The cold floor where I stood on with my bare feet shot signals through my nerves. So did the thick rope that was slowly cutting into my wrists.

In that exact same order, smell, taste, hearing, vision and touch. That was how I arranged my senses. Smell the least important in my opinion. Touch the exact opposite. Is that strange? Having a favorite sense? Probably -- I suppose that's just what I am -- strange.

My senses dominated me, until the door opened again, and fear took over.

"Take a seat, gentlemen. Get comfy -- there's plenty of room for all of you." Spoke the man that stood before me about an hour ago. The hairs in my neck stood on end when I saw distorted faces entering the room, hidden under long hoods, their bizar colored eyes most prominent. Again -- not human. Trembling, my eyes started to scan all the -- creatures, until they all had taken their seats, the door closed behind them.

"Welcome -- welcome, I know this is quite unexpected, you could even call it unusual. Two auctions in one day. But what can I say?" His eyes shot towards my direction while he pointed at me, a twisted smile on his face. "She literally walked straight into my hands." Laughter filled the room, causing a chill to slowly crawl its way up my spine.

"Shall we just get started then?" The room agreed and I could barely breathe.

"This is Lilly-Mae, or Lilly, if you're nice enough." Soft laughter bounced around the room, but my eyes didn't leave the man in front of me alone for a single second, watching him as he paced back and forth. "Twenty-five years of age, incredibly soft skin, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious as to what she'd taste like." A thin layer of water formed in my eyes.

"So I suggest we all have a taste." Once again, the room agreed, and a man with a knife and a glass carafe approached me. Not long after, the cold iron cut through me like a warm knife through butter. My blood felt warm running down my chilled skin as it got collected in the carafe.

"Patience, gentlemen." He said, trying to calm the room down. Revealing the thick, red liquid caused the creatures to become restless. They were hungry and made sounds you only hear in horror movies. To my surprise revealed everyone a small glass, for my blood to be poured into. When he said they were gonna have a taste of me, he meant it literally. The precious liquid was shared fairly among all the guests. They treated my blood like an expensive old wine.

"Go for it, gentlemen."

With their heads tilted backwards, they poured it down their throats in one go, like a shot. They were hungry, impatient. Like a wild animal that finally caught its prey after days of hunting. Not much after, the room was filled with I assume are supposed to be compliments, addressed to me. They said things about how special I tasted, how unique and pure I was. But those compliments quickly turned into inappropriate comments. Things they wanted to do to me, how they were gonna do it. Everything was being explained down to the smallest detail, and it made me feel sick.

"Lilly --" A striking voice shot out to me. "It might cost me my life, but you're mine." Vibrant blue eyes were hidden underneath a hood, creating confusion within me.

"Let's start the bidding!" Yelled the owner enthusiastically, who had just wiped his mouth clean after also having had a taste of me.

"Five thousand dollar." The audience immediately started mentioning absurdly high numbers. Not even a minute passed and, they had reached ten thousand. How rare and precious is food for them if they are willing to spend that kind of money?

"We're with more than seven billion people on the planet, why spend so much on me?" I mumbled, and the room went silent. "Enough food, right?" I added.

"Oh, but you're not just food, darling. You're so much more." Snarled a voice.

"When we buy you, you become ours, our property."

"And with your own property, you do as you please."

I felt lightheaded as my thoughts explored the worst scenarios. My instinct told me to escape, to run, but my body wasn't doing anything. Most of my senses were completely paralyzed, but I could feel my heart beating. I felt the unsteady beat pumping through my veins. I could hear it. A sassy comeback with a lot of attitude was ready on the tip of my tongue, but that's where it stayed.

'You're a nice person, your rudeness is just your defense mechanism.' Thomas's old words were going through my mind. He was right, every time it got too much for me to handle was cursing my way out.

"Fifty thousand!" Shouted that strangely familiar voice again. The creature skipped over twenty grands in one offer, and it made the rest of the guests enraged.

"Fifty-five thousand!" Roared another voice in attack, but less than a second later that number got kicked into the ground by the other creature.

"Sixty-five thousand!" And just like that, the bidding war between the two continued until they reached a hundred thousand dollars. They went quiet, as if they needed to catch their breath. Did someone win? Were they going to go even further? Yes. The answer was yes.

"Two hundred thousand." Said the one with the blue eyes. His voice calm and confident.

"Are you insane?" Exclaimed his rival. "What are you gonna do? Sell your house for some sex and a supper?" The blue-eyed creature didn't reply, he won, that's all that mattered to him. I was his property now, and his eyes met mine.

"Two hundred thousand dollar, once."

Silence.

"Twice."

My heart was pounding underneath my rib cage. My breathing heavy.

"SOLD!"

My blood pressure collapsed, causing my legs to give away, my ears ringing. I was sold for two hundred thousand dollars, and now belonged to someone -- something, that could do whatever he wanted with me. He wanted me from the second he laid his eyes on me, and his desires were fulfilled.

"Go ahead, collect what's yours." Spoke the owner of the auction house. Pointing at me, at his price. The man stood up, his blue eyes focused on me. He was tall, but not all too buff. His cloak that was too short revealed a pair of worn-down sneakers. Sneakers that seemed familiar. His hands reached towards the rope that held me tightly. That was when I realized why I've been so confused for so long.

"I don't think you've been here before, what's your name?" Asked the owner.

"Thomas." The blue-eyed person replied.

It was Thomas that bought me, he bought me with money that he didn't have. He was untying the rope, but his eyes never left my gaze.

"Sorry." He whispered so softly that I could barely hear it. There was a crack in his voice because of the dryness in his mouth. I wanted to say something, thank him, but I couldn't manage a single word.

"Congratulations Thomas, as you know, house rules. We only accept cash, the entire amount, at once." He was a dead man walking. Thom never had money on him. It was a damn miracle if he had a five-dollar bill in his pocket.

"Wait, what?" Answered Thom, genuine confusion in his voice. "I never received that information. I have the money, but not with me." The atmosphere in the room changed from the second he spoke those words. The owner sighed and came closer.

"I knew this was gonna cause problems. A newcomer offering such a sum?" Some of the other creatures were also standing up. Were we exposed? Did they know Thom wasn't one of them?

"You know what? I'll give you another chance. Go your way, next time you want buy, you bring cash. Meanwhile, Lilly-Mae will go to Osain for a hundred thousand."

No -- this couldn't be happening. I was safe, Thom made sure I was safe. My world collapsed in front of my very own two eyes, as Thom his blue eyes sought out mine.

"No, that's not happening." Thomas objected. "I fairly won the bidding, like I said -- I have the money, just not on me."

"Where then? Somewhere in Europe where you think we won't be able to find you?" Snapped the owner, who clearly had enough of the situation. "Because then you're thinking wrong, friend."

"We'll be looking for you and her, and you don't even wanna know what happens once we find you." Added another creature. It quickly became clear to me that everyone knew everyone here very well. Like at a local café, but instead of enjoying a beer together, they enjoy some human flesh. Thomas's eyes went from looking at me, to staring at the ground. He was thinking, and I watched as he struggled, biting on the insides of his cheeks.

"Can I talk to her for a second?" He asked hopelessly. It went quiet, most of the creatures were just straight up confused because of his question. Apparently, you're not supposed to care for the item you're buying. But Thomas did care.

"Um -- Sure?" The owner answered slowly. Thom's hands immediately grabbed my shoulders, his face inches away from mine.

"Lilly, I'm sorry." His voice was silent, but filled with panic. "I hope you can forgive me, because I know I'll never be able to forgive myself. I see no other way out, you mean so much to me -- and I promised you I'd protect you, and I failed. I'll make sure no one will be able to ever hurt you again. These monsters, they won't get you, I won't let that happen. I'm sorry -- and I want you to know that I love you. Now, listen carefully to what I'm about to say, kay?"

I nodded as a response, my eyes drowning in tears, my thoughts confused.

"When I step back, you close your eyes, and keep them closed, doesn't matter what happens, okay? Once they're closed, start counting down from five to one. Do you think you can do that for me?"

"Yes..." My voice cracked.

Salty water ran down both his cheeks. His hands left my shoulders as he started to walk backwards. The last thing I saw before closing my eyes was his hand that reached inside of his pocket.

"'Till at the other side, Lilly-Mae." Thomas said, and I started to count down.

Five

Four

Three

Two

One

Bam, and I was dead.

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚛: 𝙿𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚏𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚑 -

He held a gun to my head, my eyes were closed, and bam -- I was dead. A mercy shot. That was the thing he hoped I would be able to forgive him. He only did it to spare me from the horrific things Osain would've done to me.

There I went, my body crashed on the hard-concrete floor, causing the room to explode in anger. The owner just lost a number ending with five zeros. The monsters lost their company and dinner. The impact of the bullet that had flown straight through my forehead in a smooth motion caused my eyes to fly back open. Laying on the floor in my own blood, mixed with that of the previous victims, I looked before me. The big rusted door still directly in front of me, blocked by two pairs of feet. Thom's and those of the owner.

That was when I realized something was wrong. I was dead, yet I heard, smelled, saw, and felt things. I couldn't move and when they started attacking Thomas, I knew I walked straight into my worst nightmare. The monsters flew at him like wild animals. They ripped his clothing, sinking their teeth in his skin. His screaming filled my ears, but there wasn't anything I could do -- except watch. I was trapped in my own body; I had no control. They chewed on his flesh like piranhas, causing a blood bath. Not much later and his body hit the floor. Inches in front of me, his hand almost in contact with mine. My head was filled with my own screaming. He called out for help, begged for mercy, but they didn't listen. The only one listening to the words he cried out, was me.

He continued to fight, trying to escape from their sharp teeth that bit into him over and over, until -- he went silent. His eyes lifeless -- the only movement his body was making, caused by the monsters who were digging around in it. I was going to be next; they didn't care if I was dead. Meat is meat, and if I had to believe them, I tasted too good to waste.

The image of Thomas lifeless eyes that were looking at me was the only thing I could focus on, next to the fear I was in. I wished I was dead, really, dead. Not whatever state I was in now.

'Thomas.' I thought. I wanted to cry, scream, but I couldn't do anything, anything but watch. 'I'm sorry...'

A loud noise in the distance caught my attention. It came from outside the room. Not a second later and the door flew open. Three pairs of new feet were visible. More monsters? No. Shots were being fired, causing the bodies of the creatures to drop like flies. Help had arrived after all, but they were too late. A fight took place that lasted about five minutes before each monster was killed. One of the new men that just burst in got injured, but apparently it wasn't too bad.

"Dammit -- " A deep voice said. "we're too late, again!"

"Try to look at it positively, Dean. At least they're dead now. They can't make any more victims." Replied the one that had been injured, but that Dean he mentioned didn't agree.

"Sure -- Sam." He said sarcastically, before turning to the other man in the room. "Cas -- how long have they been dead?" The third man, who was wearing a beige trench coat sat down on his knees right next to Thom. His hand a few inches above his body that started to shine a bright white light. "About ten minutes." He replied in a deep, rough voice.

"Fifteen minutes earlier, and the poor bastard would've survived." Dean sighed before turning his attention to me. "And her?" He asked, pointing. The man in the trench obviously had supernatural powers. Maybe he could notice that I'm still somewhat alive? My instinct said to make a noise, so I mentally started to scream. Now he sat next to me on his knees, his hand hovering over my body. That light appeared again, followed by a warm feeling that went through me.

'I'm still alive! I don't know how, but please, help me!' I cried out mentally. He didn't reply, however, I was unable to see his face, I was able to pick up his confusion.

"She -- um.."

'Yes! You can hear me... I know you can!' I shouted at him.

"Cas?" Sam asked. "She's still alive." He replied.

'Yes!'

"What?" Dean sounded confused. "You can literally see the other side of the room through her skull, what do you mean, she's still alive?"

'I don't know, just -- get me out of here, please?'

"She doesn't know why she's still alive. I don't understand... She feels human. Well --" Cas's voice was filled to the brim with confusion. "Maybe not a hundred percent."

"Then what is she? Demon, angel?" Sam asked. "No." Answered Cas convinced. "What do we do?" Asked Dean who clearly didn't want to stay in this room much longer.

'Take me with you, please. I don't know what you could do to make me any better, maybe I'll still die. But please, I don't wanna die here, not on this floor.'

"We'll take her to the bunker." Cas suggested, and the other two didn't protest. Not much later, I was laying in Cas's arms, like a dead body. My head tilted backwards, my arms lightly swaying back and forth due to his walking. Just before we left the room my eyes caught a glimpse of Thomas. His blood-covered body on the ground, or what was left of it anyways. The owner of the auction house laid beside him; his body filled with bullet holes.

I took a brief moment to mentally thank Cas for giving me a chance. For getting me out of that dreadful place. With the room behind us, the worst thought hit me. If not for the good nature of the supernatural being that was now caring me, I would've stayed there. I would've died looking in Thoms dead eyes. That wasn't the worst outcome haunting my imagination. What if I didn't die? What if I lived and was forced to stare at Thomas's body that would slowly decompose? That fragment of imagination would stick with me for the rest of my life.

When we finally made it out of that nightmarish building, warm sunshine shone down on my body. Cas with me in his arms walked behind Sam and Dean. My mind filled with fear and panic as I imagined that scenario.

"It's okay." He suddenly whispered, trying to comfort me, so quietly that only I could hear it. "You're safe with us."

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚒𝚟𝚎: 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚐𝚞𝚢𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊 𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚌 𝚌𝚊𝚛 -

Laying on the backseat of a 67 Chevy Impala, I was completely lost. Accompanied by three strange men who were taking me to a place I didn't know, in a world, I didn't belong. Sam and Dean were sitting in the front of the car, the one with the shorter hair behind the wheel, while Cas sat in the back with my head laying on his lap, rather uncomfortably. Laying down like this forced me to look up at him, although I tried to focus on the roof of the car instead.

There hung an awkward silence in the vehicle that I wanted to break, but couldn't. As if Dean was able to read my mind, he spoke. "So, uh -- are we gonna talk about this or what?" The man sitting next to him shifted awkwardly, shortly looking over his shoulder at me.

"What do you want to discuss?" Cas asked, causing Dean to become slightly annoyed. "The dead chick in the back?" He replied rather rude, before also letting his glare drift off to me. "That is bleeding all over the car seat!" He angrily added. "Well, she's not dead." Cas replied in defense. "And how do you know that?" Sam questioned. "Does she still have a heartbeat?" Dean continued. Cas his blue eyes that reminded me so much of Thomas's looked at me before replying, as if he needed to check.

"No..." He answered rather quiet. "Dude, I know you're weird, I know we do weird crap, but carrying a dead chick around?" I was honestly getting offended by Dean calling me a dead chick, over and over.

'I'm not dead though...' I thought, sighing.

"Dean, she just said that she's not dead. Also, she doesn't like being called a dead chick." It was as if the two had to process what Cas just had shared, and so did I. The silence only made me concentrate more on the fact that he was still listening to my thoughts.

"You can hear her?" Asked Sam, breaking the quietness. "Her thoughts, yes. I'm still a celestial being, remember?"

'A celestial being? He's an--'

"An angel, that is correct." He replied aloud before I was even able to question it fully. And just like that, my world flipped upside down for the fiftieth time today.

"So she can hear us?" The long-haired man asked, who by now was fully turned around on his seat, his eyes on me and the apparent angel, who nodded as a reply. "So we can just ask her questions and via you get the answers?" He once again nodded.

"What is she?" Dean immediately asked, again a rather rude tone to his voice.

'Jeez, buy me a drink first.'

"She wants you to buy her a drink first." Cas translated my thoughts into speech, literally. Making Sam and I chuckle for a bit. Cas gave us a few confused looks before deciding to ignore us. "If I recall correctly, she doesn't know how she's still alive, so I doubt she knows what she is." So far I know, I'm human. Hell, I just found out a couple of hours ago that non-human things exist. "She's human, she thinks." Cas said, but I'm certain that no one believed me, not even the angel himself.

I wondered what other forced questions Dean would ask, but Cas was first to ask me something. "What's your name?"

'Thank God for a normal question.' I quickly regretted mentioning... Him. If angels exist, God must be a thing as well.

'Lilly-Mae, um -- did I offend you by mentioning, you know who?' I asked, trying to ignore the Harry Potter reference I just made, just to be sure he knows I didn't mean to be rude. "Nice to meet you, Lilly-Mae, and no. You didn't offend me by mentioning my Father." A small smile on his lips to reassure me.

'So, God was real, angels are real, monsters are a thing, anything I'm missing?'

"Demons." Cas replied is a monotone deep voice. 'Well, fu--'

"Where are you from?" Asked Dean. How on earth was I going to explain this?

"You want us to contact any one of your family so they know you're safe?" Sam proposed. Family, I don't have. I spend the first five years of my life with a drug addict of an aunt, to end up in one orphanage to the other until I was old enough to work and live on my own.

"She doesn't have a family." Cas informed the others. Looked like I managed to avoid the big bad with that reply. "What big bad?" The angel asked innocently.

'Well, crap. Here goes nothing I suppose. I'm not really from, here? Thomas and I, we ended up here after traveling through a portal.'

"Thomas?" Asked Cas, while ignoring the rest of my reply for whatever reason. 'Yea, Thomas, the half-eaten dude back at the auction house? That was Thomas.' I replied rather annoyed because the wound of just having lost the only and most important person in my life was still tender.

"So you're not from this world?" The angel asked. I'm sure he just wanted to know more about me not being from here, but for some reason, it felt like he tried getting my mind off the bad thoughts that were haunting my mind by asking that question. I wanted to shake my head in response, but couldn't. However, I didn't have a chance to reply because Dean and Sam looked at Cas, worried, but more so confused. The angel took his time to explain everything we've spoken about so far, and that gave me some room to breathe and try to place all the new information.

Supernatural beings exist. Turns out I'm not as human as I thought I was, then again, it would explain why I have those nasty attacks and visions. And not being from this world didn't end up being that big of a deal after all? It helped clarify why Cas was unable to 'read me' as he explained. That's why he doesn't know what I am, it's because I'm not from this world.

"By the way, sweetheart." Dean sounded, waking me up from my thoughts. "I'm Dean Winchester, this is my younger brother Sam, and the angel you're laying on is Cas." They're brothers, that actually made a lot of sense.

'Well, nice to meet you guys, I'm Lilly-Mae Mooney, and um -- thanks for saving my life.'

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚒𝚡: 𝚆𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊 𝚋𝚒𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙 -

With my eyes focused on the clock that hung on the wall in front of me, I saw the time tick over to midnight, it was now officially the eighth of August. Exactly three weeks ago the boys found me on the concrete floor of a warehouse, a hole through my skull after being shot in the head by Thomas. I was alone in my room at the moment. A room I was gifted by the brothers in their home. Their home they called the bunker. It was cozy here, although I only saw parts of it for a short period of time. My room was located next to Deans, right over Sam's, at least that's what the boys told me.

I was still trapped inside of my own body, still unable to speak or move, however, there was good news, my head injury was healing well, thanks to Cas's angel powers. Who I found out is actually called Castiel, and not Cas. It took him more than two weeks to build up the courage to tell me his full name. I made a complete fool of myself calling him Cas for weeks, even though I didn't know him well enough yet to be addressing him by his nickname.

I assumed the boys were asleep by now it being passed midnight already, but then again they are never up to any good. I've got to know them better with time, and I'd like to think they kind of like me by now? Castiel usually talks for me, so we were able to have somewhat of a conversation. Cas, however, leaves my cursing out for the most part, which I don't blame him. I tend to curse quite often, but I've told him he doesn't need to make me sound nicer than I really am. He never gave a reply to that... I honestly think he doesn't have the guts to curse himself. Which I assume is normal, him being an angel and all.

"I just don't think it's appropriate for me to curse, Lilly-Mae." His voice filled the room, startling me. I'm never going to get used to him just, popping in like that. As per usual, he apologized for scaring me, and I told him it was fine. That was kind of our ritual by now. He decided to take a seat next to me on the bed, his blue eyes focused on me. I still was unable to move, blink, or look around, so he made sure I was able to see him.

"My apologies for leaving you alone with the brothers today." When I'm alone with Sam and Dean is communicating literally impossible, but I understood that Castiel still had Heaven business to attend.

"How was your day?"

'Well, watching the clock was very interesting.' I replied sarcastically, which the angel didn't appreciate. "Is sarcasm something contagious?" I laughed at his question. The Winchesters are also masters in the practice of sarcasm, but I was a goddess.

'It's something you're born with.' I replied, and if I was able I would've smiled at the butt hurt angel. "And with honestly." He said, and I cursed him for being able to read me like a book.

"Cursing people isn't nice."

'Well, you're not human, now are you?'

"Touché. But Lilly-Mae, we've spoken about this before. Humans need to talk with people about things. It's important for your mental health."

'I can't believe how much that sounds like a Dean sentence. Did Dean tell you that?' The angel was concerned about me, for all the right reasons. I was trapped in my own head. Left alone with my thoughts for weeks now. I had built a private movie theater for myself up in my mind, and the movie that had been playing for weeks; Being Mauled by Werewolves, featuring Thomas Reed.

"You want to talk about Thomas?"

'What else do you want me to say about him, Castiel? We talk about him daily, it doesn't help. He's dead, but that's the thing about life, isn't it? No one makes it out alive.' He took a deep breath as his eyes left me behind to look in front of him. "I suppose you're right about that... And like I've said before, it's okay for you to call me Cas."

'When you start calling me Lilly.' I thought in defense. His eyes met mine again, an annoyed look on his face, and a long silence followed. He forced me to start thinking again, he forced me to go back to that damn seat in my theater. Flashes of him were all I saw. I could hear his voice again, screaming. I could almost feel his presence again, panicked. I once again started drowning in sorrow and heartache. No one ever tells you how much grief feels like fear. Two tears rolled down the sides of my face when I couldn't hold them back any longer.

'It's been three weeks Cas, three weeks ago he stopped breathing and I continued. I'm not over him.' I cried out mentally. His expression softened at my pain. "I'm not asking of you to get over him. I don't expect you to ever do so, I know what he meant to you, Lilly." He regretted pressuring me into confessing how I felt, but as he told me before, it had to happen. I had to talk, I needed a bit of help to process what's happened in a correct manner.

"You're strong and smart, but instead of breaking yourself down, you need to start defending yourself." He spoke words of wisdom and I agreed, but applying that theory wasn't all that easy. He gave me a moment to recollect my calmness and get my emotions under control before speaking.

"I've something for you." He said while revealing a phone with a headset attached. "I don't know if you enjoy music, but I popped by Dean's room before visiting you and took these with. I thought it could keep you entertained."

'You want Dean to get mad at me for stealing his music?' I asked playfully, but was thankful. "I doubt Dean will suspect you for stealing it, considering you are unable to move."

'Touché.' I said laughing. 'Thanks, Castiel.'

"What music do you like?" He asked while placing the headset over my ears.

'Honestly, right now I could listen to everything. Except for Justin Bieber... I don't do JB.' I saw him scrolling through Spotify while he was looking for a playlist he thought I'd enjoy. He eventually clicked on a playlist called 'A Brutal Rip in Reality' and alternative music started playing. It was literal music to my ears.

"I'll quickly heal you, and then I'll leave you to enjoy your music." The angel said, but I barely heard him due to the music. 'Is good, thanks Cas.' He pressed two times on the volume button to turn the music louder, completely blocking out all the sound around me, before standing up ready to start healing me. Joke's On You by Charlotte Lawrence was playing as the room lit up, that warm feeling flowing through me of Cas's grace healing the cells within my body. The music was the best thing that had happened to me in weeks, and when I was completely lost in it, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to enjoy it even more.

I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath?

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗: 𝙼𝚘𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍 -

My heart was beating and I was breathing. I had the smallest control over my facial muscles and I wanted to scream of happiness, but couldn't. The angel that stood next to me equally surprised at the sight of me showing signs of life. My eyes flew back open, immediately meeting the blue ones of Cas.

'You see this?' I asked overwhelmed, he nodded after having lost his words himself. His hard work finally started to show results and judging by his response, it looked like he might've lost hope. He had lost faith in himself for not being able to kick some life back into me. But he did manage, there I laid, breathing. "Are you able to speak?" He asked, and I had to give it a try. A hoarse noise left my throat as a heavy, forced breath.

'Doesn't look like it.' I informed him, kind of disappointed, but I guess I should be happy with small steps. Without saying another word, the angel left the room leaving me alone for a couple of minutes to return with the brothers by his side.

Turned out I was still trapped in my own body. However, it still worked after weeks of being deceased, so did my brain, it was like the two just lost the connection. The one not longer linked with the other.

"Strange..." Castiel said who stood at the foot end of my bed, next to him the oldest Winchester, both their eyes focused on me. "As far as I can tell, there's not too much brain damage to detect." He continued.

"But, half her brain was literally splattered all over the floor?" Asked Dean. In the few weeks I've known him, I had learned to appreciate his brutal honesty.

"So how can there not be too much damage? I know you've been healing her Cas, but you said it yourself, you can't create new brain parts that would replace the missing?" Questioned Sam who was sitting next to me on the bed.

'Magic.' I thought. "Magic." Castiel translated aloud, a small chuckle to be found in his voice. "Very funny, Lilly." Sighed the youngest brother while he was busy trying to feed me by a feeding tube he would lower into my throat because I was unable to swallow for myself. Ironic, isn't it? I didn't need the other half of my brain to live, but apparently, I still had to eat. Everything was so damn -- illogical

"If you're looking for logic, you ended up in the wrong universe." Answered Cas to me. My thoughts weren't my own anymore.

"My apologies." I didn't blame the angel for constantly lurking around in my thoughts, it's because of him that I'm still here, and alive.

I gagged because Sam removed the feeding tube incorrectly. "I'm sorry --" He apologized every time it happened, but it also happened every time Sam fed me because I have a weirdly sensitive gag reflex.

"It's okay, she just has a sensitive gag reflex." Castiel informed the others, oversharing my thoughts again. It was as if the angel didn't understand that humans don't like to just mindlessly share everything, with everyone. He didn't fully understand sarcasm or other non-straight to the point things. My eyes drifted towards Cas as I saw him tilt his head lightly to the left. My mind confused him, which was pretty entertaining to watch. I wondered if he would ever leave my thoughts alone to be my own again.

"Just so you know, I don't tend to read people's minds if not necessary. I am aware that doing so is rude." Did I just hurt his feelings? "He learned that the hard way." Dean added with a laugh. Looks like my mind wasn't the only one he used to snoop around in. "I don't see what is overshared about telling the brothers that you have a sensitive gag reflex?" He confusedly looked around the room, meeting everyone's eyes, looking for an answer. I know he's an angel and all, but he was too damn innocent. Dean wore a small smirk while patting Cas on the shoulder. "I don't know about you guys, but I could use some coffee." He continued, before turning his back to us, ready to leave the room. My eyes slowly made their way over to Sam who was still sitting on my bed, wondering if he was going to accept Dean's offer. He shook his head. "Yeah -- I think I prefer sleep, it's like one AM dude."

"Perfect time to do some more research." The oldest brother left the room as Sam started to clean the mess he made while feeding me. They attempted to find out what I was by looking through old smelly books, but me not being from this world made that task a lot more complicated. So far I still didn't show any reasons to not be human, apart from maybe surviving a bullet to the head, but if angels exist, so do miracles. And of course being able to sense out other dimensions, and maybe still being alive while my heart clearly stopped beating... Yeah, I wasn't human.

"Hey, Lilly?" Sam's voice pulled me out of my train of thoughts and I managed to make eye contact with the youngest brother, making him smile a bit. "I never noticed your tattoo before." He briefly rubbed over the moon tattoo I had on my left wrist with his right index finger. It was a simple line tattoo of the three phases of the moon.

"It is a tattoo of the three phases of the moon." The angel that was still present in the room helped me out a bit, making Sam's attempt at a conversation go smoother. "Yeah -- I can see that, does it have a meaning?"

'I'm a moonchild... so I thought, the moon. Honestly, I was drunk off my ass when I got that tattooed.'

Castiel cleared his throat after having heard my response, I might have surprised him by saying I was drunk off my ass, but I'd like to think that I made him laugh. "Uh -- She said that she is a moonchild." Explained Cas to Sam, and not more, before the Winchester could ask what that meant I made Castiel's attention go back to me.

'Hey, I made a joke, well.. it wasn't a joke, I was actually hammered, but make me sound funny for once, Cas.'

He briefly bit his bottom lip before speaking. "She also said, and I quote; 'Honestly, I was drunk off my ass when I got that tattooed.'" Sam laughed, victory, but on the other hand, Cas looked at me, disapproving. I managed to make a small smile appear on my face for just a moment, causing his harsh look to soften a bit.

"A moonchild? What does that mean?" Sam asked after having cleared his throat to get over his laughter. Before I could describe it to Castiel, he was already explaining it.

"A moonchild is someone born under the Cancer zodiac sign. They're known for being unique and curious souls. They tend to daze off quite easily, preferring to spend time in their fantasy world instead of having to live in this harsh reality. You could refer to them as being dreamers." To my surprise, the angel knew exactly what it was.

"When were you born?" Sam continued to ask, after having listened carefully to all the words Castiel had said. 'June twenty-first of nineteen eighty-five.'

"Ah, so you're twenty-five. Honestly thought you were a bit older." Sam smiled causing his cute ass dimples in his cheeks to appear, creating the urge in me to punch him in the face.

'I'll take that as a compliment I suppose.'

"She'll take that as a compliment. Yet she feels like punching you in the face?" The angel sounded confused but lucky for me, Dean entered the room again, in his hands his computer and a mug filled to the brim with coffee. "I had the best idea while I was making coffee." He said, a smile on his face. "Everyone likes movies, right? So, Lilly, I thought, you're probably bored out of your mind. Mind watching a movie with me?" It was impossible to resist his offer, yet I had to play hard to get. 'Depends on what movie you wanna watch.' Cas spoke my words aloud. "How about you choose, princess? Just one rule, no Frozen, anything but Frozen." Good to know that we're on the same wavelength.

That same night Dean sat next to me on the bed as we watched Life of Pi, which funny enough, he actually thought it was about pie, as in the dessert. We didn't talk throughout the entire movie, but he didn't seem to mind the awkward silence. Cas had left us once we started watching, to do what Dean was originally planning on doing, trying to find out what I am. Trying to find something that would get me on my feet again.

When the movie was over and the Winchester closed the laptop, he looked at me.

"Lilly." His eyes scanned my face, looking for the smallest response. He was acting strange and I didn't know what to expect. "I want you to know that you're going to be fine again. I don't know when, but you'll make it. We'll put you back together." That was the first time the Winchester and I had a private one-sided conversation without the angel reading my mind, or that of the apple-green eyed man sitting in front of me. He gave me a small smile before standing up and leaving the room to close the door behind him.

That night I managed to fall asleep after having listed to my own heartbeat, after having watched my rib cage expand as I inhaled the musky air that filled the bunker for hours. They felt the urge to take care of me as if I was one of their cases. They had to fix me, they felt responsible although I was the one that had managed to screw up my own life. They were going to put me back together, he said. That could only mean one thing, he knew I was broken.

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝: 𝙻𝚞𝚗𝚊𝚛 𝙵𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 -

Groaning, I slowly started to wake up from a long deep sleep. My body hurt, my head was pounding, the muscles in my neck tense and soar. I was freezing cold and when a chilled gust of wind blew over me, I knew something was wrong.

I opened my eyes, staring straight up at the billions of stars that decorated the night sky. I was no longer in the bunker, instead, I laid in the middle of a hard asphalt road in a town I wasn't familiar with. The adrenaline that kicked in made me jump up, quickly looking around me to see if I was safe, like a prey animal in danger. I found myself standing in a long street, bright colored lights lit up the area like neon signs. The street, however, was empty, no people were walking on the sidewalk, no cars were driving on the road. I watched as a big traffic light switched to red in the distance.

It was quiet, really quiet. Almost too quiet to be a big town like this. Shaking my head briefly, I decided to do what was smartest, and that was to get off that road. As I started walking towards the sidewalk, my eyes looked at my legs. I didn't realize until now. I could move? I could walk? My feet stopped moving immediately after I realized, right next to one of the parked cars that stood on the road.

"Wait... What?" I whispered confused while looking at my own two hands, moving my fingers slowly, wearing a small smile on my face. My fingers brushed over my lips after having heard my own voice for the first time in weeks. I quickly moved to look at myself in the window of the parked car. I saw a reflection staring back at me that I barely recognized. After having lost so much weight I barely looked like myself. I softly squeezed in the little meat that still covered my cheekbones before laying a single finger on the car's window to make sure it was really me. Our fingers touched as conformation.

A scream coming from the distance caught my attention, that was the first sound I've heard since I woke up apart from my own whispering, and my feet started mindlessly running. Not knowing what I would encounter, my mind questioned why my first reaction was to go after it.

A single scream made it almost impossible for me to know where it exactly came from, and I came to a stop in the middle of a big intersection. Looking around in circles as I tried to find the source of the noise, who exactly needed help. Scanning the surroundings made me question where I was even more. I had never seen a town quite like this before. Streetlamps gave off a bright magenta color, while storefronts were lit with blue neon lamps. Brands and names flashing in different colors that were being reflected on the wet asphalt road.

I turned around once more, looking into the street on my right side, my breathing heavy and loud when I saw it. About six hundred feet away from me stood a person in the middle of the road. We had direct eye contact as I looked into the bright blue eyes that were focused on me. Billions of questions started rolling through my mind as I looked at the vague person standing in the distance. Was that the individual that had screamed? Maybe that being was the cause of someone else's screaming.

It disappeared, running behind the cars, in between some houses. And just like that my body started moving again. Running as fast as I could I tried to make my way over there. So fast that my feet had trouble following. The cold wind blowing through my hair as I went faster and faster. Eventually closing my eyes as I ran at my top speed. My soul got pulled back home, to the fields where I had ran through so many times. Tears started flowing down my cheeks as images of Thomas started to fill my mind again.

Out of breath and almost tripping as I came to a stop, I now stood where that person was standing not too long ago.

"Hello?" I screamed, looking into the alleyway the person had disappeared in just seconds ago. To my surprise, the alley was empty, apart from lightbulbs laying on the stairs that would connect this road with the one above. I took a deep shaky breath before I started walking again. I knew I was making the one big mistake every character makes in a horror movie, to afterward die in the most horrible way, but there was no stopping my feet. Something in me said to follow those lightbulbs that laid one by one, on every step of the stairs. Even though they weren't attached to an electricity source, they were lit up with cold blue-white light. With my eyes on the small lights at my feet, I made my way up the staircase.

There was something truly odd about this place, and when I finally arrived at the other side of the alleyway, I was once again greeted by the person I was seeking after. It was now clear to me that it was a man judging by his build, but his face was still not visible due to him standing inside the door opening of a house, on the other side of the road.

"Hello?" I once again asked for a reply but he didn't give it to me, instead, he smiled, his blue eyes glowing almost as bright as the storefronts. I swallowed slowly at his weird behavior, before he disappeared again, walking into the house and leaving me standing at the other side, clueless. "Do you want me to follow you? Do you need help?" I asked but obviously didn't get a response. After shaking that weird feeling he gave me, I walked towards the house, my hands as fists hung next to my thighs as I put my first step inside of the building. My eyes drifted to the floor, which there wasn't one. I was looking down another staircase, this one made out of white tiles, surrounded by walls made out of the same tilework as the floor. It looked like an entrance to an underground tram line. Bright green light bounced off the shiny tiles and once again, my body started to move. With quick tiny steps, I ran down the stairs, my hand lightly brushing over the cold metal handrail that was attached to the wall.

Once I made it down I was greeted by a long tunnel made out of the same tiles, lit up by the same vibrant green lights. I ran through it as quickly as possible and came to a stop at the empty platform. Soft music was playing through old static speakers, and again my eyes went looking for my next clue. It didn't take me long to find where he was standing this time. At the platform on the other side, at the foot end of yet another staircase. I lowered my eyes, staring at two tram tracks that blocked me from getting to the other side. I was chasing someone I didn't know in a place I was lost in, but I wasn't suicidal.

"How do I get to your side?" I yelled, looking up at him, still unable to make something of his facial features. My heart stopped beating when his voice filled my ears.

"It's just some rails, Lilly. Do something risky for once."

It was Thomas's voice, and it made me feel sick. Gasping for air I stared at him while I bit on my teeth as I did my best to not pass out. My body came in action again, slowly moving towards him while I dragged my feet over the white tiles. The entire time my feet were the ones I was chasing, but now my feet had to listen to my heart.

I jumped off the platform onto the rails, briefly looking to either side before carefully crossing both tracks, to crawl back up the other platform. My eyes shot up, ready to meet Thomas, but he was gone, and not a second later I was sprinting up those stairs. Looking up, expecting to see the exit, I saw nothing, nothing but darkness. The green lights slowly started to disappear the higher I climbed until I was running up the stairs in pure blackness. Right when I thought these stairs would never end, my lungs filled themselves with fresh air as I was greeted by the stars again. To my surprise, I came above ground not in the town, but in a forest. I made a quick hundred and eighty degrees turn to look for the town that should lay behind me, but no, there was nothing else to see but trees.

I once again made a classic horror movie mistake by yelling, hoping for that person to reply. There were no longer any weird lights to be seen. It was dark and the moist forest air gave me goosebumps. That and the fact that I was standing alone in the middle of a forest at night. I tried listening to my feet to see if they still knew where they wanted to go, but they didn't, they were listening to my heart that had also lost its way. Slowly my eyes drifted from the staircase that was surrounded by bushes and leaves, to the big empty in front of me. I almost missed those ridiculously vibrant bright lights looking at the few trees I could see. The rest of the forest was being gulped up by a dark fog that slowly crept over.

With all of my courage gathered together, I dared venture in the unknown. I didn't know what I was seeking after, apart from the man I had been chasing, that now had completely disappeared. Small branches gave away under the weight of my feet as I walked further away from the stairs that had let me here. However, I made sure I walked in a straight line, in case I had to get out of here again, it was as simple as turning around and walking back.

Being alone in the forest with nothing to see or hear but the animals in hiding, my train of thoughts started rolling again. I was sure it was Thoms's voice that I had heard, but he didn't look like Thomas as far as I could tell. I still didn't see his face fully, but their builds didn't match. I was chasing something I didn't know, I had no clue of its intentions, I was unsure of my own. But what I did know was that I wanted to try to find out what it was I was seeking after, and if I didn't try, I would never know. I wanted to walk among the thing that sparked my curiosity.

I loved nature, walks in the forest. The silent whispers of the wise old trees healed my soul as I cleansed my mind. Nature is pure, yet bares millions of dark deep secrets that would only see sunlight again the day it decides to show itself.

I had been walking for what felt like hours, while small silent whispers rolled over my tongue, humming a song that was able to soothe me in the most terrifying moments. I was whispering the words of a song called 'Little Boy in the Grass by Aurora' and it was one of my favorites. It kept my mind of the eyes that were lurking from the shadows, the creatures that followed me into the night. They weren't really there, at least that's what I hoped. Darkness makes you hallucinate the scariest images.

My mind was drowning in questions I asked myself, but was unable to answer. How did I get here? Why do I continue walking? Why is it that I'm able to walk? With my hands hidden in the sleeves of my oversized hoody, my feet kept going at a steady pace, my eyes fixed on the darkness in front of me. I was brave and for once, I had my own back.

By now I had hoped that the sun would've come up, but it didn't. The darkness was still here and it was here to stay. I had accepted that I would never be able to find that damned staircase again, and I honestly didn't know if I even wanted to attempt to find it. I had made my peace with being in the forest, that was poorly lit by the many stars above, by the moon I was walking under as it smiled at me. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice at first, but then, out the thick darkness appeared a man. On his face a frightened expression. We made eye contact as my feet stopped moving and my heart stopped beating.

"Hello?" He spoke, unsure if I was real. "Yes?" I replied, worried, he didn't look good. "Are you also lost?" He asked, attempting to get closer to me but I kept my distance. "I don't know." I replied, I was unsure if I was lost or not. I didn't know where I was, but I didn't know where I wanted to go either. "What's your name?" I asked while kind of covering my body behind one of the many trees as a barrier between myself and the young man that was still coming closer. "I don't know." He replied. "What's yours?"

"Lilly. Are you okay?"

"Are you?" He asked, causing me to become speechless. "You're not okay." He took the words right out of my mouth. "He has been following you, in case you're wondering. You're his favorite now." My eyes instantly jumped behind me, looking for the thing that had been following me, just to find nothing, nothing but an empty forest. "Who has been following me?" I asked without laying my eyes on the young man. I was too terrified of the darkness behind me to turn my back on it again. "Him. But he doesn't like us talking. He doesn't like me anyway."

"Who is he?" I asked upset while turning around, I yelped when I saw the young man standing next to me, his eyes lifeless as he wore a small forced smile. "You've seen him, you know who he is, he managed to lure you into the forest."

"I didn't see his face, I don't know who he is?" I asked while slowly walking backward, trying to create distance between us.

"Of course you didn't see his face, he doesn't have one." The boy replied with a monotone voice, before his eyes jumped to something. I followed his gaze but saw nothing, nothing but black.

"He doesn't like us talking." He repeated himself. "Why not? Why doesn't he like us talking?" I asked out of breath, trying to find answers. "Because you're his favorite and I'm not. He doesn't want me talking to you..." He sounded scared, but more so heartbroken. "Are you looking at him right now?" I asked while my eyes were still trying to figure out what he was looking at. "No, but he's looking at us." My entire body started to tingle at the thought of something lurking out of the shadows, and the way the boy was describing it. It was something big and bad.

"Maybe if..." He spoke softly as his gaze drifted from the darkness to me. "Maybe that way I could become his favorite again..." His thoughts were bleeding over into reality as he once again started to walk in my direction, his eyes fixated on me. My heart started to beat faster, his mind was in a million places while he tried to figure out his own thoughts. "I'll become his favorite again, if you're dead." He pulled a small knife out of his jeans pocket, pointing it at me, ready to start cutting and slicing. "If I kill you, he'll have to love me!" He screamed, lashing out. The sharp iron barely missed my skin as I jumped back, just cutting through the fabric of my hoody.

"Whoa -- wait! I don't wanna be his favorite!" I yelled in defense, walking backward as fast as I could. He had gone mad and tried to do everything in his power to cut through my flesh, waving wildly in the air with the knife as tears started to flow down his cheeks. "You don't have to kill me, I'll leave and never come back, I promise! I don't wanna be his favorite!" I continued to yell excuses, trying to make him stop, but it was useless. I tripped, landing with my back against a tree, he came closer, his eyes drowning in salty water that turned the whites of his eyes red. The knife pointed at me, shimmering in the moonlight. I tried to prepare myself to be stapped over and over again until I didn't breathe any longer. My hands digging in the moist forest ground as I bit on my teeth, my eyes closed. I was ready, ready to die.

"No!" He screamed, my eyes flew back open to see him standing in front of me, but his attention was focused on something else. "No, please!" He begged, walking backward. He was terrified, his knife fell from between his fingers as he made a run for it. As fast as he could he tried to get away from whatever was chasing him, and by the looks of it, it was pissed. "Please, stop!" His voice was to be heard from a distance, struggling. I tried to not pay attention to it as I crawled over to the knife that he had left behind. I was no longer safe, I had to be able to defend myself. When the sharp object was safely hidden I stood up, wondering where that boy ran off to, I made a quick three hundred-and-sixty-degree rotation to see if I could find him, and I did. In the distance a bright green light started to shine, revealing the young man that was looking around him like a deer in headlights.

"Please!" He begged before his feet left the ground, gasping for air he grabbed his throat tightly. Choking as he started to levitate higher in the sky, the surrounding debris of the forest following in his footsteps. Everything hovered around him while he was struggling for air, fighting to stay alive, trying to defeat whatever energy it was that was attacking him. Speechless I stood and watched what was happening in front of my eyes, having trouble with breathing myself.

Everything fell to the ground, the light went out like a broken lightbulb, and that was when I realized that I now was the one being chased, no longer the other way around. I didn't hesitate and once more, I ran, I ran as fast as I could, dodging the trees, jumping over sticks and fallen over trees. I was running from something big and powerful, but most terrifying, something I was unable to see.

The fear I went through that night at the auction house was something that would stick with me forever, and after that happened I thought I had grown stronger, tougher. But I hadn't, I was afraid and when panic takes over, you lose control over your body. You're capable of doing this you ever thought you would be, in my case; running for hours without looking back. My feet were bleeding, my lips cracked due to the cold air, and when I finally left the forest, I practically fell onto the street in the city I woke up in hours ago. Tripping over my own feet, gasping for air as sweat dripped down my face I ran towards the first house I came across, fists banging on the door.

"Hello!" I cried out hopelessly. "I need help, please!" My eyes shifted fast back and forth between the door and the forest that laid behind me. No one opened the door, so I moved onto the next. Again, no response. I decided to take even bigger measures, I ran around the corner into another street, standing in the middle of the road, screaming for help. And that's when I realized I had come full circle. I stood eye in eye with someone down the street, electric blue eyes just, staring at me. Turns out I wasn't done running yet.

I barged into an apartment building after having kicked in the door, running up the stairs as fast as I could, because I was certain that, that individual that I locked eyes with, was coming for me. I climbed level after level until I reached the last, running down the hall past the many empty apartments. I had cornered myself, hopelessly looking through the window at the end of the hall before turning around, to see that person turn the corner, walking towards me.

"Hello?" A familiar voice bounced off the walls, and without thinking twice I turned my back, opening the window before I jumped. My body hit something as hard as concrete, but when water started to fill my lungs and I gasped for air I knew I didn't fall onto a street. I had fallen in a big body of water. Trying to swim back up, seeking oxygen I finally started to lose my mind.

"What's going on?!" I screamed as soon as my head came above water. Now soaked and even more so freezing cold than before I made it back onto land. Once again I stood in the middle of the forest, billions of stars above my head. I yelled as loud as I could out of pure frustration, before punching into the bark of one of the many trees, making my knuckles bleed. After having physically worked out my anger I allowed myself to sit down and rest. I was sick of it, sick of running, sick of trying to hide for something I didn't know. I was so sick of being scared.

Taking a deep breath as I tried to clear my head and calm down, I remembered something. The supernatural being that saved my life, the one that can read my mind and hear my prayers. Just like that my eyes flew back open, staring at the night sky above me.

"I'm probably talking to myself here, but Castiel? Can you hear me?" My voice sounded calm and collected. I waited a couple of minutes for him to reply or for him to pop up and scare me like always, but he didn't. I was truly alone, or at least that's what I thought.

"Lilly, c'mon..." Thomas's voice filled my ears again, terrified I looked up to where the noise came from. The man I've had been chasing stood in front of me, but not close, on the lake I had fallen into. On top of the water. "Thom?" I asked genlty and carefully.

"Come here." He spoke, and my heart started to beat faster again. Slowly I stood up without taking my eyes off him, trying to figure out if it was really him. I lowered my eyes to see how his feet touched the water, a bright blue light circle underneath him that created tiny waves. "You're standing on water?" I asked confused as the tips of my feet stopped in front of the liquid.

"Lilly-Mae, come here."

"But, I can't?"

"Yes, you can." I took a deep breath and ventured out into the water, but to my surprise, the liquid was solid underneath my foot. The same bright blue light circle was created when I took my first step. Carefully, I took another step as I watched how another wave effect of light was created. I just accepted that I could walk on water and focused on the man in front of me again, walking towards him. The closer I got to him, the clearer he became.

The silhouette of his body already gave allot away, most importantly, he wasn't human. Big antlers stood on his head as his arms were long and strong. Only a couple of feet was left between us when his face was visible. The boy had warned me, he didn't have a face, at least not that I could see. An animal skull within the eye sockets nothing but darkness was looking at me.

"Are you scared?" He asked, for the first time using his real voice. A chill crawled its way up my spine at the deep vibration of his voice. "Should I be?" I asked, trying to sound brave and confident. He shook his head, causing the vegetation that crawled up his body into his antlers to sway back and forth. When I stood in front of him, my eyes looked up from the bright blue light coming from underneath our feet, to at his face. "Who are you?" I asked, trying to get some more information out of him. "I go by many names." He replied. "Are you God?" He laughed in a deep tone. "Depends on how you look at it."

"Where are we?" I asked looking at the stars that reflected in his black eyes. "Lunar Forest."

"Is this real?"

"Do you want it to be real?" He asked, grinning. I could walk again, I wasn't a dead corpse laying in a strangers bed, but I don't know if I wanted to live in a place like this. Think I'd rather be dead in a somewhat more normal place.

"You know where this is heading, right Lilly?" I shook my head at his question, finally realizing how weird he was, wondering why I wasn't afraid of him. "How do you know my name?" I asked, trying to avoid eye contact. "Because I know you, now stop distracting me, and say you surrender yourself to me." He said demanding. I gasped at his tone, not sure what he meant. "Lilly, I brought you all this way, I protected you from James, I killed him, for you. Do not let me down." He growled as he came closer to me, forcing me into looking at his eyes. "What do you mean that I have to surrender to you?" I asked, trying to create more distance from him. "Say you will be mine, that you will stay with me, forever." He tilted his shoulders back, becoming even bigger and broader than he already was.

"I don't know you? You brought me into a weird-ass world, I've been terrified for days? Why would I want to stay here, with you out of all beings?" The words spilled over my lips as if they were poisonous, they enraged him. His build became even larger the more he stretched out, towering over me as he looked down onto me.

"Have it your way." He spat out, before disappearing into thin air. The water I was standing on had changed out for a black floor with only a thin layer of the water left, still those lively blue light circles to be seen under my feet. The trees and nature around me started to fall apart like a house of cards. And when it was just me, the water under my feet and the night sky filled with clouds, I lost it.

"No!" I screamed hopelessly as I looked around me, to find nothing else but endless darkness. "Come back!" I was standing in my biggest fear. Being trapped, alone. "Please!" I shrieked, fallen to the ground on my knees, a big circle of blue light as a result. The clouds over my head started to become thicker, darker, sparks of green light crawling through them like veins. Stinging rain started to fall down, burning my skin on contact. There was a thunderstorm forming in the sky, and I didn't stop calling out to him.

"Don't leave me alone!"

Thunder rumbling sounded, in the distance the static sound of lightning strikes that were coming closer and closer. Vague words were to be heard, they were being repeated over and over again, but I couldn't make anything off it.

"Mahday, eelohtah sahn. Serloh, eelohtah."

"I surrender, please! Come back!" A single green vibrant lightning strike struck down not too far in front of me, making me blind, causing my ears to bleed and ring.

"I surrender!" I cried out, looking up at the sky, my hands reaching out for it. Right before my body came in contact with one of the lightning bolts, flashes of green flowing through my veins were the last thing I saw, immense pain flowing along side it. I thought I was going to pass out, but --

I gasped for air, jumping up, looking straight into a pair of worried blue eyes. Quickly looking around to see where I was located at now, I found myself in the bunker, next to me on the bed sat Castiel, his hands covered in something dirty. At the desk in my room stood the two brothers, in Dean's hands a bowl containing bright green flames, next to him Sam who was holding an empty glass bottle.

"Lilly-Mae, calm down, you're okay, it was just a dream." Castiel spoke, and not much after I passed out.

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚎: 𝙼𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗' 𝚜𝚞𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚎 -

A lock that opened, followed by the noise of a creaking door woke me from my sleep. I was in pain, but felt free. I stretched, cracking all the joints in my body and it was the best feeling I had felt in weeks. After debating it for a while, I decided to open my eyes and wake up fully from my long and peaceful sleep. Yawning, I looked in front of me and was greeted by Dean.

"Mornin' sunshine." He spoke while wearing a small smile on his face. "Didn't mean to wake you, just came to check up on you." My eyes scanned the room, looking for the angel so I could reply, but before I knew it my own thoughts spilled over into words.

"It's okay." I spoke softly, my own voice caught me off guard, scaring me. Both Dean and I were quiet for a while after that, processing the fact that I just said two words. "Holy crap..." I whispered, looking at my own body, at my toes that were wiggling from underneath the blanket, at my hands I was able to open and close. "Welcome back." The Winchester said while he took a seat next to me on the bed. "You fixed me?" I asked, slightly tripping over my own words as I went along. Feeling my tongue move again was odd, then again I've always found tongues to be weird. "We, fixed you." He corrected me, sounding rather proud. "How? What happened?"

"How about we talk about that in the library with the others?" I nodded, it was about time that I left this room. Don't get me wrong, I was happy that I was granted this room, but I was so sick of it. "Yes." I replied impatiently, while I threw the blankets off of me. "You want me to carry you over?" Dean asked as I struggled to hang my legs over the side of the bed, but I shook my head. "Just support me a bit." Dean did as I asked, he hooked his arm under my arms, around my back while I threw my right arm around his neck. "Ready?" I nodded, and we slowly stood up together. My legs shaking, even though Dean was carrying a lot of my weight as he was tilted sideways to support me, because of our height difference.

I put one foot in front of the other, slowly I was walking with Dean alongside me, to the door of my bedroom, ready to leave it. My heart was beating with excitement, my body slightly tingling because of the little stress I was feeling. I tried my best to hide the fact that this moment made me emotional. After weeks of dark thoughts, wishes about just wanting to die, and for this to be over. I was doing it, although the shaking of my legs was driving me insane. We were walking in the hallway, passing Dean's room where I briefly laid my eyes on. It was a mess, but I didn't expect differently.

When my left knee gave away under too much weight that I forced upon it, I snapped. "I already was a weak bitch, but now I'm like a freaking spaghetti noodle." I grumbled, making Dean laugh who was able to catch me right before I would've slipped away. "You'll get your little strength back in no time." He added jokingly, causing my angry eyes to meet his. "I wasn't that weak..." I mumbled, acting as if I was hurt by his comment, and we started to walk again. I couldn't believe I already went through these halls before, they felt so unfamiliar. I suppose I was half out due to the shock and bloodloss while Cas carried me down these halls to get me to my bedroom. Part of me wondered what this place was. I knew it was some type of headquarters of a cult of some sort, but the boys didn't explain it fully. Dean who spoke pulled me out of my thoughts. "You know I don't tend to be the soft type, but you've no clue how happy I am to finally hear your voice." He awkwardly staired in front of him as he tried not to make eye contact, in such a touchy-feely moment. "That makes the two of us." I replied, right before we stopped at some steps, in front of us a big room. My voice that bounced off the walls, echoing through the building caught Sam's and Castiel's attention.

"Lilly?" Sam sounded before he ran into the room, in the middle stood a table, at the side a staircase that led upstairs. With a bit of help from Dean, I was able to walk those few steps before meeting the youngest brother. I smiled, I didn't know what else to do, and when the angel entered the room, a relieved expression on his face, my gaze drifted off towards him.

"Would you look at her, eh? Walking and talking." Dean said with a big proud smile painted on his face. "Yeah, kinda." I replied, referring to that the apple-green eyed man was carrying eighty percent of my weight. My voice that filled the room again made everyone go quiet for a second.

"What? My voice isn't what you imagined it to be?" I asked with a laugh, I didn't really expect anyone to answer that question, but the innocent angel did. "Not quite, you sound very different in your thoughts." I didn't even know that was possible. When my legs gave away again and Dean was fast enough to catch me, everyone came in action to get me a chair. Dean carried me bridal style to a chair that Castiel had pulled back for me. Sitting at the table that stood in the middle of the room, on top a world map that was lit up from underneath, the others joined me.

My finger traced the lines on the map as I waited for someone to say something. I understood that it was a strange sight for them to see me sitting up, not looking dead. "Lilly-Mae?" Castiel asked, and my eyes met his. "Are you okay?" He asked, and I nodded. "Yeah, think so... my tongue feels weird though." I said, before sticking it out, trying to look at it, awkwardly moving it around as I tried to get used to the feeling. Sam who was sitting across from me looked at me with a smile. My bare toes were tiptoeing on the cold tiles while my finger went back to tracing the map. I allowed the boys to get used to the sight of me, while I tried to get used to being able to move and feel again. "Lilly asked me how we pulled it off." Dean broke the silence, reminding me of the question I had asked him before.

"We found a spell that should heal a vessel, technically a body is a vessel, so we decided to give it a try." Answered Sam. "What's a vessel?" I asked curiously. "A human body possessed by an angel or a demon." Castiel informed me, and I locked eyes again with him. "So that means that —?" I asked, pointing up and down his body. "Yes, this isn't my true form. This body belonged to Jimmy Novak, a good faithful man."

"Belonged?"

"He sadly passed away." Cas had been Cas for me for weeks now, but now knowing his body isn't his, it made me feel rather uneasy. "So, you could possess my body?" I asked, but he shook his head. "Not just like that, you would have to give me permission first. Demons, on the other hand, can take what they want." Ugh, demons, nasty ass beings. I had so many questions about the supernatural, but Sam asked me something first. "Lilly, do you remember what happened four days ago?" I shook my head slightly, seeking eye contact from Castiel again that would calm me down. "Four days?" I asked. "Yeah, you were out for four days kiddo." Dean replied. I had slept for four entire days? I suppose my body had to recover from the spell they performed on me. Vague flashbacks of green flames and Castiel's hands covered in something dirty filled my head.

"So, that spell is why I'm back alive?" Castiel nodded. They did it. When they dragged me out of that auction house that one day, I expected to die laying in the car, but didn't. Day by day I thought, this is going to be my last one. But they actually did it. They put me back together. "Thank you..." I spoke softly, hoping not to choke on the emotions that were trying to flow out. "It's the least we could do." Sam said with a small smile. I didn't know what he meant. They didn't know me, didn't owe me anything. Why did they go through so much trouble to fix me? I had hoped that Cas would give me an answer, but he didn't. Was he still listening to my thoughts? Was my mind my own again? I looked at him, expecting him to tilt his head as my thoughts confused him, but he didn't. I felt -- lonely. I had gotten used to that angel on my shoulder, helping me out with the smallest struggle going through my mind. I rubbed my forehead at the too many things that were going through me.

"Are you okay?" Cas asked who saw me struggle. "Yea, it's just a bit much..." I sighed. All my senses were being stimulated again, and it was overwhelming. I once was in love with being able to feel, all the textures, temperatures, but it now was making me feel so damn uneasy. I expected every feeling going through my nerves to turn out to be painful.

"You wanna go rest some more sweetheart?" Dean asked, also sounding rather worried, but I shook my head. I had slept for way too long, I wanted to explore my temporary home, I wanted to live.

"Then what do you wanna do? It's about 7 PM right now, Dean and I were planning on heading out to go grab some dinner." My stomach was already growling at the idea of solid food, and I wanted to ask if I could join, but once again was Dean faster than I was. "You hungry?" He asked, looking up from having looked at my stomach, he must have heard it begging for food. "Yeah, I could use some food." I replied rather shy, not wanting to come across greedy. "What you feel like? We weren't sure what we wanted yet, but I was thinking like a cheeseburger." The oldest Winchester spoke who was sitting next to me, and my gaze shorty drifted off to Sam who shook his head. "Dean, I don't think it's a good idea to feed her anything that heavy, or unhealthy right now."

"Yeah, I haven't eaten anything but baby food for weeks, I don't think my stomach could handle -- Who am I kidding, of course, I want a freakin' cheeseburger?" I said with a smile, already drooling at the thought of melted cheese and pickles. "See?" Dean said, throwing his hands in the air to make his point come across even more. Sam rolled his eyes, letting a deep sigh of disappointment go. "We'll be back in no time, said Dean who impatiently stood up. They were going to bring take out, but I wanted to go with. I wanted to feel the fresh air brush over my skin, I wanted the smell of polluted air to fill my lungs.

"Can I tag along?" I asked, hoping I would get a positive response, but I received nothing but some looks. It was as if the boys were having a conversation in a wordless language I didn't understand. After they shared some looks, Dean nodded. "Sure kiddo, but um, maybe take a shower first?" Suddle as always, Dean.

I couldn't do anything but agree, I smelled like roadkill, I honestly was roadkill for weeks, laying in that bed for dead. Showering, however, wasn't going to be the easiest task considering I was unable to stand on my own.

"Kay, who's gonna shower with me?" I asked trying to hold back a smile as I scared the crap out of the boys. Silence followed my question, along with broken eye contact and uneasy movements. "I'm kidding guys, but, I do need some type of help cause my muscles are as strong of those of a newborn." They sighed with relief, immediately looking for a solution.

"We could put a chair under the shower?" Sam suggested, it was a smart idea and I agreed. Before I realized it, Dean was carrying me bridal style again to bring me to what I assumed was the bathroom. The angel tagged along, bringing a metal chair, rather than a wooden one so it wouldn't be damaged by the water. We didn't end up in the bathroom however, Dean took me to his room, to put me down on my bed. "Imma fetch you some fresh clothes." He explained with a smile, the angel awkwardly waiting outside with the chair in his arms.

"That's sweet of you, Dean. But I don't know if you've realized, I'm small as hell compared to you, I don't think your clothes will fit in the slightest?" He surprised me when he turned around, holding up his sweatpants, boxers, socks, and then a black tanktop that would never fit him. I gave him a confused look, wondering from where and how he got that.

"Don't question it." He said, handing me the clothes before picking me up again, ready to go to the bathroom this time. Him telling me not to question it, only made me question it even more, although I already had a pretty good idea of how he managed to collect a piece of female clothing. I chuckled a bit at the thought of that poor girl that had forgotten her shirt before she left. "What?" He asked, looking down at me.

"Just wondering how one manages to forget her shirt before leaving. I mean, don't get me wrong, I get it, sometimes you've to leave in a hurry, especially if there's a younger brother involved that could catch you, but your shirt? C'mon..." A cheeky smirk appeared on his lips, breaking the brief eye contact we had, as if he was thinking back to the memory.

"Well, she left with one of my shirts on, one of my favorites actually, it was pretty stupid." He admitted, the angel that was still walking behind us also following the conversation as we turned to enter the bathroom. It wasn't what I expected, the room looked like a shower room from a highschool. Stalls, on either side tiled walls, a thin curtain to give you some more privacy. Castiel put my chair down in the second stall right next to the entrance, and Dean put me down on it. Awkwardly I was looking at the two men who were looking at me proudly, as if they just did a good deed by putting me in a shower stall, on a cold, small, and uncomfortable chair. Dean put my clothes down on a sink on the other side of the room, ready to leave.

"What am I supposed to do?" I asked cluelessly. "Shower?" Dean replied, and I knew all too damn well that I had to shower, the question was --

"How?" I asked, wiggling my limbs around like overcooked noodles. "Yes Dean, I don't think it's responsible to leave her alone, she could slip and hurt herself." The angel spoke. "Well, good luck with that, bud." Dean said while padding Cas on the shoulder before leaving the room, leaving us both rather confused behind. Castiel's eyes followed Dean until he left the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Great, now my fate was left in the hands of a clueless angel.

"Um..." I spoke, staring at the ground, trying to find a way that this could work out without it becoming too damn awkward.

"Do you want me to shower with you?" He suddenly asked, making my eyes fly up at him.

"No! No..." I said, holding my hands up begging him to stop with whatever he was doing. I realized it came over rather rude as the angel tilted his head slightly to the left. "No, thanks, Cas. I think I'll manage. Maybe just help me a bit with closing the curtain and handing me the towel and my clothes as I go?" I suggested, and he nodded, coming closer to shut the thin curtain. I took a deep breath as I prepared myself to get undressed, hoping that that thin ass piece of fabric was thick enough not to reveal anything. Lucky for me, I was still wearing my pj's I was wearing the day it all happened, still on my bare feet. With a bit of effort, it was relatively easy to pull my shirt over my head, throwing it over the iron bar that held up the curtain. I could hear Castiel react to what I just did, picking up the item. "Do you want me to throw your old clothes away?" He asked, and I gladly gave him permission to get rid of those damned pieces of fabric.

Now, my pants. Struggling to lift up my own weight, hoping not to tilt over the chair, I wiggled them off. Not much later and after having caught my breath for a second, they also landed on the other side of the curtain. The same thing went for my underwear. I could hear Cas throw everything away as the sound of plastic wrinkling filled my ears. I never thought taking off clothing could be that exhausting. I stayed quiet, trying to get my heartbeat to slow down before I would turn on the shower. My silence concerned the angel.

"Lilly-Mae, everything okay?" He asked. "Yea, I'm fine... This just sucks ass." I sighed, biting my teeth while trying to press down my frustrations. After clearing my head I turned the knob, and as per usual when you shower in an unfamiliar shower, the water comes out ice cold. I yelped, trying as fast as I could to turn it the other way. "Fu--"

"Lilly?" Castiel asked worriedly. "It's cold! I'm fine, water is just cold!" I screamed while struggling to turn the wet knob in the right direction. When warm water finally flowed over my body, I relaxed, sitting back waiting for it to become hotter. With my eyes closed, I focused on every droplet rolling down my figure. They dragged so much of my fears, frustrations, and other emotions with them down the drain. It didn't take long for the room to fill itself with steam as the temperature of the water was almost too hot to bear.

The angel at the other side of the shower curtain had gone quiet, patiently waiting for me to finish enjoying the burning hot water that was washing all the dirt and worries away. My arms got tired quickly as I was washing my hair, massaging my own skull as I went. I didn't want this to end, ever. Having been dead for weeks made you appreciate a lot of things way more than before, this being one of them.

"I have showered once." Castiel's voice bounced off the walls, lightly startling me, I almost forgot he was standing in the same room as I was. "I found it to be rather odd, and overwhelming." He explained. "You've only washed yourself once? How long have you been possessing Jimmy?" I asked, finishing up my shower that already had taken so long the angel was losing his patience. "Two years." He replied. "Cas! You need to shower and take care of him? How on earth do you not smell like ass?" I asked. I thought I had offended him because he didn't immediately reply like usual. "I don't need showers, I can take care of my vessel by using my grace."

"Then why did you shower once?" I asked.

"Because I wanted to know what it felt like. I didn't like it."

"Why not? It's the best feeling in the world?"

"Exactly." He replied rather quiet as I turned the water off, waiting for Cas to throw a towel over the iron bar. "What do you mean?" I wondered. "I'm not allowed to feel." He replied as he poked the towel through the curtain with his arm, almost hitting me. It scared me, and I bit my lip trying not to yelp again, biting just a bit too hard. Blood taste filled my mouth as I licked at the wound. "You're not allowed to feel?" I asked slowly as I accepted the towel. "No." He replied simply, no other explanation attached. I decided to drop the conversation knowing it must be a weird angel thing, as I did my best to dry myself off. Not much after, the angel handed me Dean's dark red boxers along with a pair of black socks. They were obviously too big for me, but comfy so I couldn't complain. Putting the underwear on went relatively smooth, as if my little strength like Dean said, was slowly returning. The angel handed me the rest of the clothing without sharing another word. The silence made my mind drift off to the boy's reactions from earlier. They were genuinely happy to see me up and walking. My words made then speechless. It made me think about how Castiel mentioned that I sound different than in my thoughts.

"Hey, Cas?"

"Are you ready?" He asked, still patiently standing outside of the shower stall I was in. "Yeah, but I have got a question." He opened the curtain, smiling down at the sight of me, clean and with my long wet hair still awkwardly sitting on my metal chair. "What's your question?" I cleared my throat before talking. "What did you mean by that my thoughts sound different from my actual voice?" His eyes went to the ground, looking for a good way to reply. When he made up his mind, he made eye contact. "Your thoughts are delicate, compared to the words you speak."

"Delicate, as in weak?" I asked with a shaky voice, he broke eye contact, giving me a single nod as a response. I smiled the emotions away, asking him to bring me back to the Crow's Nest where the boys were waiting, but not by carrying me, by supporting me. I wanted to prove that I wasn't as weak as he thought. With only one arm hooked into his, my body filled with the power to prove myself, we walked back to the Crow's Nest.

"Much better, isn't it?" Dean asked with a smile as he saw me enter the room, alongside me the angel. "Yeah, just hope I never have to shower sitting on a chair ever again."

"Wait 'till you're eighty." Sam said with a laugh as he stood up, ready to leave to grab dinner. I rolled my eyes, leaning on the handrail of the stairs that led to the entrance to the bunker, letting go of Castiel's arm. Even though I had tied the strings of Dean's sweatpants as tight as I could, they were still attempting to fall off, as if they wanted me to flash everyone. The shirt he had given, however, did fit me, and I decided at that very moment that I had claimed that shirt to be my own.

"Ready for some cheesy goodness?" Dean asked smiling, sounding more excited than I was.

"Heck to the yes."

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚎𝚗: 𝚃𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚔𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚔𝚎 -

With some help from Sam, I managed to make it to the garage, where Dean's beloved car was parked alongside other old vehicles. I was sitting in the back, right behind the oldest brother, Castiel who wanted to tag along sitting next to me. I didn't remember a whole lot from that one night, but the specific scent of the Impala was something that I recalled vividly. The soft leather felt so much more comfortable than the first time I had touched it.

We were heading to Jiffy Burger, Dean's favorite in Lebanon. It wasn't that far of a drive, about ten minutes away from the bunker. I knew Castiel had realized that his words had caused pain, even if he didn't fully intend them to be hurtful. I could tell because he was quiet the entire ride long, staring out of the window as the brothers shared words.

"What do you guys want?" Dean asked as he parked the car, offering to go and get the food himself. I honestly didn't feel like going back to the bunker, back underground, boxed in between walls. I wanted to stare at the clouds just a little longer. "How about we go inside and eat there? No mess to clean up after, right?" I asked, hoping they would allow me to stay above ground. "You're not wearing shoes, Lilly?" Sam said, pointing over the front seat at the socks from Dean I was wearing. "And?" I asked, not bothered by the fact that I had to walk with them through the mud. "I've worn way weirder crap than this, besides, there are a lot of people that go barefoot through life. I've heard it's good for your back." I gave them a rather weird explanation, trying to convince them anyway. Dean shrugged, not really caring either, just wanting to eat already. "Okay fine, but if they think we've kidnapped you, you're gonna explain everything." Sam sighed before opening his door, ready to head into the diner. Dean followed in his footsteps, leaving the angel and me on the backseat.

The stubbornness was still flowing through me. Wanting to prove myself to him, I opened the door, ready to leave, but he stopped me. "Lilly." He sighed, holding me at my wrist, looking me straight in the eyes. "I know what you're doing." I awkwardly lowered my eyes, looking at how his hand wrapped itself with ease around my weak wrist.

"You only have to prove yourself to yourself, not to me, not to anyone else." He spoke, biting on his teeth at the end of his sentence. He studied my reaction, but there was not much to detect. He might not hack into my mind any longer, but he was still capable of reading me like a book.

"I didn't mean to hurt you by saying you sound weaker in your head than in real life. If you could hear my thoughts, or those of the brothers, you'd think we're pathetic." He let go, and I pulled my arm back slowly, my mind hazy at the words he had spoken.

How was I supposed to prove myself, to myself, when the opinion of others is all that matters to me? Castiel thought I sounded weak deep down, and it had burned me to the ground. Once I would prove myself to him, I could start believing it for myself.

"Yeah, you're right." I smiled, not looking him in the eyes. He probably knew how I really felt, but I didn't care. I was going to prove myself anyways. I opened the door, building up the courage and strength to leave the car when wing fluttering sounded. Cas stood next to me, opening the door for me fully. Damned angels and their ability to teleport around like that. "Let me help you." He said smiling, as he held his hand out towards me, asking me to accept it by laying mine in his. Biting on my teeth I did as he asked, slowly standing up, holding on to nothing else but him.

"Sam was right, you know? People are gonna find this suspicious. I'm not wearing shoes, I look like I've been starved for weeks and I walk like I got hit by a car."

"Well let those people think as they please, you know your truth." My truth wouldn't stop them from calling the cops behind our asses though. But I was starving, and I honestly was looking forward to a bit of action and an adventure.

With my arm hooked in that of the angel, we walked into the diner, the smell of delicious food filling my lungs. We joined the boys who were sitting in the left-back corner of the place, right next to a window. Castiel helped me take a seat next to Dean before he went to sit across from me next to Sam.

My eyes were glued to the sun on the other side of the glass, that was setting. I impatiently licked over the small wound on my lip that by now was swollen, as I waited for the stars in the sky to appear. The warm shades of orange took my attention off of everything else, conversations went blurry in the background as flashes of Thomas and me filled my head. The barn, the portal. The colors made me feel sick.

"Lilly--" Dean gave me a push that shook me awake from my thoughts. I cluelessly looked up at him, right in his worried green eyes. "What?" I asked softly. He nodded in a direction that I followed. A waiter stood next to me, his eyes scanning me up and down in a judgemental manner as he was clicking his pen impatiently. He was about my age, a tall skinny boy with dark blond hair, his gray eyes hidden behind glasses.

"Drinks?" He asked slowly, as if he had to explain it to a five-year-old. The rest of the table had already ordered, but when I was taking too long for his liking, he treated me like a toddler. I cleared my throat before speaking.

"Oh, yeah, a coffee, please."

"How would you like it?" He asked.

"Just like how I like myself, dark, bitter, and too hot for you." I smiled sarcastically, that'll teach him talking to me like that. My words made him shrink to the size of a pea. After that, he left our table without another word spoken.

My eyes turned to the boys sitting next to me, surprised looks on their faces. "What?" I asked rather annoyed. "Nothing, he deserved that." Dean said, giving me a soft pad on the shoulder. Trying to cool down a bit more, I put my focus on the menu he had laid before me on the table. I already had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to order, but decided to give it a look anyway. They had all sorts of burgers, basket dinners, sandwiches and a sea of sides to choose from. At the end I settled for a cheeseburger with some fries, and a strawberry milkshake.

"So," I spoke as I laid the menu back down. "what now?" I asked with a smile, wondering what we would discuss over the burgers and fries. "I'm awake, I can talk, so Castiel won't be able to censor my answers to his liking any longer." My eyes shifted from Sam to the angel, amused at the fact that he felt attacked by my words. I was sure the boys had questions, millions of them, and I was ready to take them on. "Why don't we turn the tables? I'm sure you're more confused than we are. We've dealt with weird situations in the past, but this must be something new for you." Sam spoke softly as his hazel eyes looked at me, curious about what I would throw at them. "I'd love to ask questions but I don't think we're in the right environment to discuss such things? Unless everyone here is aware that monsters are real?" Dean looked at me with his angry eyes, I was speaking too loud for his liking.

"No, most people are unaware of the supernatural," Castiel informed me. "and we should keep it that way to prevent chaos from happening."

"What do you think of it so far? Your experiences on earth two-point-o?" Dean asked who sat with his arms crossed, leaning on the table as he looked at me. "What can I say? I'm not sure what my favorite moment was so far, me being dead for three weeks or seeing my best friend being torn apart in front of my eyes." I answered rather butthurt. The best thing that had happened to me thus far was the fact that I could walk again. Dean bit his teeth at my reply, turning his gaze away from me. They probably wished Cas was still there to censor me, but he wasn't, it was the real me they were getting to know now.

"Anyways, what type of cult are you part of anyways?" I asked, looking at the young man behind the counter that was ready to bring us the drinks we ordered earlier. "It's not really a cult, it's more like an order? It's called the Men of Letters. Our grandfather was part of it, which means we are kinda part of it? The bunker had been abandoned for years, so we made it our home. It was that or old crappy motels."

"The Men of Letters?" I asked, but got interrupted by the server. He put our drinks down, spilling my coffee on the table. My eyes met his, giving him an annoyed look as I sighed.

"Are you ready to order?" He asked, taking out his little notebook again, clicking his pen vigorously. "Yeah, four cheeseburgers, please." I spoke, but Sam quickly changed that order. "Make that three, and a chicken salad, please."

"Make that two, and a chicken salad." Castiel corrected. My eyes looked confused between the two of them. Sam ordered a freaking salad, and Cas wasn't even going to eat?

"Okay, two cheeseburgers, and a chicken salad. Anything else?" The boy exhaled his sentence as his hand lazily wrote down the order. I made eye-contact with Dean, looking for confirmation without words that he was down for fries or not. He nodded and I turned back to the server. "Two fries, and a strawberry milkshake." I added, he wrote down what I said. "Any allergies?" He asked just to make sure he wouldn't serve us anything that would literally kill us. "Yes, actually," I spoke, meeting the boy's eyes, looking at me as he waited for my reply. "small portions." I spoke with a grin, making the server even more annoyed. He rolled his eyes before he left the table. I was probably gonna receive a burger where he had spit in, but it was worth it. I turned back to the table, still chuckling at my own joke.

"Small portions?" Dean asked with a smile, and I nodded. "To be honest, I probably should've told him that I'm lactose intolerant, but oh well."

"You literally ordered a milkshake?" Sam asked confused. "Yeah, and?" I asked with a cheeky smirk. "Also, what the Hell?" I spoke as my eyes met Castiel's. "You didn't order anything? Way to ruin the mood." He tilted his head to the left, narrowing his eyes a little. "I don't need food, I'm an angel." He replied. Why were angels so weird? "I don't need more than a thousand calories in one meal either, but I'm gonna eat it anyway?" My focus went to my coffee after that, trying to clean up the mess the server had caused. He had spilled so much that my cup was almost half empty, I even had to steal Dean's napkin to wipe it all up. It didn't take long before I had drunk all of the caffeinated goodness.

"So Cas," I said as I put my empty cup down, looking into his rather distracted blue eyes. "As an angel of the Lord, what are you capable of doing?" I wanted to get to know the creature sitting across from me a bit better. I imagined an angel to be rather powerful, maybe even one of the most mighty beings out there. "I can fly, although you perceive it as teleporting. I can heal other beings, but can also destroy them with relative ease. We refer to it as smiting. We can read minds, enter dreams, we can not be killed by being shot or stabbed, only by an angel blade or powerful magic. There is a very long list of things we are capable of doing." They were basically indestructible. They didn't need food, didn't need sleep, they didn't even have to shower. His words sparked curiosity inside me, admiring him for a bit too long after he was done talking. "If you can fly, that means you have wings?" I asked, looking over his shoulder just to see nothing but the back of the other person sitting in the booth behind ours. "Yes I do, but you are incapable of seeing them. Our true form can be overwhelming." He explained. "Overwhelming?"

"It will burn your eyes out of their sockets." I went quiet after he spoke those words. That sounded anything but pleasant. Although the thought of him having wings made me want to know more.

"He also has a very pretty harp." Dean added as my eyes jumped to him after having heard his comment. "No, I don't have a harp." Castiel spoke in a deep monotone voice, he was annoyed at the Winchesters humor, but it did make me laugh.

We discussed the angel's abilities and weaknesses for a bit longer, until our food arrived. As I had expected, mine looked like total shite. However, I didn't mind, I deserved that. The server plonked my plate in front of my nose, followed by my milkshake, once again spilling it on the table. I looked him dead in the eyes, lowkey getting sick of his behavior. I clicked my tongue before I spoke. "Imma need some more napkins." A sarcastic smile on my face that he gladly returned. "We're out." My eyes drifted off to the counter behind him, looking right at a box of white napkins. "Go fu--"

"Lilly." Castiel interrupted me, cutting my words off while giving me a disapproving look. I bit my tongue, looking out the window at the stars to not let the insults flow out like water. The server left the table, leaving us alone to eat as I went to inspect my burger, opening it up just to make sure there wasn't anything too disgusting hidden in between the layers. Afterward, I looked at my milkshake, letting a deep sigh go at the sight of all the pink on the table.

"I will go get some napkins." Castiel said as he stood up, walking to the counter. The brothers next to me were already digging in their food. Dean filling his mouth faster than he could swallow down. "You know your food won't like, fly away, or anything, right?" I asked with a laugh, also rather feeling sick at the sight of him chugging it down like a newborn penguin.

The angel returned, wiping the mess away for me. I thanked him as I also started to eat. I honestly was scared to dig in. What if I didn't remember how to chew and swallow? It wouldn't surprise me if my cause of death after all of this, was choking on a single fry. I stared at the food a bit longer before picking up a fry, going to dip it in my milkshake when Dean grabbed me by my wrist. "No way." He said with his mouth filled with cheeseburger. "Don't tell me you're one of those fry dippers?"

"Yes I am, and I'm also one of those pineapple on pizza people, bite me." I replied, tugging my arm lose to continue dipping my fry before sticking it in my mouth, exaggerated chewing on it in Dean's direction. He gagged, turning away, causing me to burst out in laughter. "C'mon, don't be so dramatic. It's good!" Sam who put down his fork reached to grab a fry from Dean's plate, almost starting a war. He smacked the hand of his younger brother away, his green eyes angry and threatening. "Jeez, sorry..." Sam said with a chuckle, before reaching into my plate, which was also a rather bold move. I watched as he grabbed a fry, dipping it in my milkshake to try it out for himself. He swallowed it down, pursing his lips making an expression that said 'not bad'.

"Ha! See?" I asked, giving Dean a slap on the shoulder. "That's the opinion of someone that enjoys eating salad, it doesn't count." He replied in defense, and just like that he had declared war. I was going to prove that fries and milkshakes go amazing together. I grabbed another fry, dipping it, then sticking it out the angel, offering it to him. He narrowed his eyes, wondering what I asked of him.

"Try it." I said while sticking it out even further. He accepted the fry but was still confused. "I don't need food?" He repeated himself. "I know, but try to see if it tastes good or not?" I asked.

"Lilly you don't get it I--"

"Please, Cas?" I begged, using my puppy eyes. He briefly looked at Dean who was smiling at the angel in an amused fashion. With hesitation, he stuck the fry in his mouth, biting on it slowly. His face made all sorts of movements and expressions that caused me to chuckle, but I tried my best to hold it back. Finally, he swallowed, quickly scanning the table with his eyes as he tried to place what he had just tasted. "And?" I asked impatiently. "Lilly, I tried to tell you..." He spoke while reaching out for a napkin. "I just taste molecules." He explained. I had forced him into tasting something unpleasant, and I felt bad, but the sight of him vigorously rubbing his tongue clean with the napkin caused me to laugh out loud anyway.

The rest of the evening was filled with silent moments while we were eating, the angel under us looking at us as a proud father. Apart from that, it was filled with me staring out the window, talking with the boys as we got to know each other a bit better. Laughing, making jokes, but also talking about more serious topics.

What I had learned from that dinner experience was that Dean and I are a lot alike, which was dangerous. I was certain of it that we would get into fiery arguments and fights along the way. He was the overly protective, I know I'm crossing the line but I do it with good intentions type of guy. A hard shell with a soft and squishy heart on the inside.

Sam was the protective type, but understanding. He tried to see everything from other's perspectives. He wore his heart on his sleeve, but carried allot of dark crap behind that pure and happy smile. I felt like we would get along better.

Castiel was still very confusing to me. He came across as also being very protective, but the unknowing kind of angel. He didn't fully understand humanity, emotions, behaviors. I felt like I could tell him anything, and he would try to help, but wouldn't know-how. He was very different from how I was, which was good. I could already see him keeping me from getting in trouble. He would be the one to be brutally honest with me if I wanted to know the truth that wasn't sugar-coated.

I had drunk the last of my milkshake, after having emptied my plate. Leaning back when I was satisfied with my meal. The boys didn't think I would be able to finish it, and that's where they made a mistake. Never challenge me. I let go of a quiet burp in my hand, as I looked at the sweatpants that were no longer way too big. I had eaten too much, but damn it tasted so good.

"I tip my hat to you, my lady." Dean said with a smile after he had wiped his mouth clean. He also had finished his plate, which wasn't a surprise. He threw some cash on the table, making sure to give the server almost nothing for a tip. I felt bad, I mean he was mean to me, but I threw some more wood on the fire by reacting the way that I did. Castiel stood up, stopping next to me to support me again, I hooked my arm in his and also stood on my feet. The meal I had eaten had restored some of my energy and walking went way smoother already. With the brothers behind us, we were walking to the door to leave the diner. The angel opened the door, the cold night wind hitting my skin. My eyes focused on the stars that stood high in the sky, making my stomach turn at the idea that we were going back to the bunker, back underground.

Goosebumps covered every inch of my body as my feet walked on the cold muddy ground. I hopped in the car after Castiel had opened the door for me, getting comfy on the soft leather of the backseat. It didn't take long before we were back on the road, all of us sitting in the exact same spot as before. My eyes were glued to the outside world, softly singing along with the music that was coming out of the radio.

"And if you don't love me now, you will never love me again..."

It was The Chain by Fleetwood Mac, one of my favorite songs. Dean turned the volume louder, apparently, he liked it as well, which I didn't complain about, but Sam did. Dean took a sharp right, bringing the full moon into my sight. I could see the big white circle reflecting in my own eyes in the window of the car, it caused me to feel weird. As if the light was sucking me towards it, I couldn't shake the feeling that flowed through me. Something big and powerful was looking down onto me and it made me feel nauseous. It followed the car, it followed me, didn't matter what way Dean turned the moon was standing right in front of me, intimidating and strong.

I swallowed, trying to keep the food down that I had eaten earlier, trying to let Castiel know I wasn't okay, but couldn't. The fear that had hit me on the back of the head left me powerless behind. When my field of vision was filled with nothing else but the bright white light, I snapped.

"Stop the car..." I spoke with a shaky voice, covering my mouth with my hand. "What?" Dean asked confused. "Stop the car!" I screamed, causing the Winchester to yank at the wheel, pressing on the brake as hard as he could. The car hadn't come to a complete stop yet when the door flew open as I stumbled out, falling onto my knees as I tried as fast as I could to crawl into the nearby forest. The fear had caused me to become so nauseous that my food was already back in my mouth. I threw up, about thirty feet away from the car. Sitting on hands and knees as the taste of gastric acid filled my mouth.

"Lilly?" Dean yelled at me worriedly. "I'm okay!" I replied in between some heavy breathes. "I think I ate too much."

"You gonna be okay, kiddo?"

"Yeah, just, go back to the car, I rather not have you listen to me throwing up." He did as I asked, leaving me by myself. Once all the food had come out, and I was able to breathe normally again, I wiped my mouth at a napkin I had taken with from the diner. My head was spinning, and the pressure my body was under hadn't faded. The moon stood high above me, looking down at me. The light that hit my skin felt like it took the air out of my lungs, its grip tightly wrapped around my neck. With shaky legs, I was able to slowly stand up, looking at the forest that laid in front of me.

"Lilly-Mae Mooney." An unfamiliar female voice sounded. My eyes scanned the trees, trying to find where my name came from. Out of the darkness appeared five people, all wearing gray business suits, no expressions on their faces. I knew I was in trouble when sharp blades fell from out their sleeves.

"We finally found you."

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗: 𝚆𝚑𝚘 𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚕𝚜 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚜 -

Before I knew it, I was pinned against a tree, gasping for air as blood dripped out of my nose, my feet inches off the ground. I couldn't move, couldn't defend myself, or even call for help.

"Let her go, brothers." Castiel's threatening voice filled my ears as my eyes shifted towards him, he had appeared a few feet in front of me, also revealing one of those blades that dropped from his sleeve. He spoke of his brothers, did that mean that they were angels? Why would they want to harm me?

"Orders from above, Castiel." The woman spoke in an intimidating tone, that had me pinned as she held her hand out in my direction. "What do you want with her?" He asked as he came closer, putting himself between the angels and myself, physically protecting me with his body. Sam and Dean had arrived, pointing their guns at the creatures, which wouldn't help. I had remembered what Cas had taught me earlier, angels are immune to bullets.

Still unable to breathe, I felt everything starting to spin as my vision went blurry and ringing filled my ears. I was about to pass out when the brothers decided to get involved.

"Put her down!" Dean growled, as he came to a stop next to Castiel. The angel's gaze shifted to the oldest brother, letting him know that his anger would only make things worse.

"We can talk about this, come to an agreement." Cas tried to help, calm them down, but it didn't work. They were determined to fulfill what they were told.

"We are just following orders, Castiel. Unlike you." She spat those last words out as if they were poisonous. I didn't know there was so much bad blood between them.

"Why does she need to die?" He asked, causing the grip around my neck to loosen a bit. "She is bending the rules. She was supposed to die. She doesn't belong in this universe." She spoke, the conversation got her attention off of me, giving me room to speak and breathe.

"It's not my fault, I asked for death that day, but instead I'm still awake." I should've stayed quiet. My air supply got cut off again, even more violent than before. "Shut your mouth, abomination."

"Whoa, easy with the name-calling there, sister." Dean spoke, waving his gun around in a threatening fashion. "Is there no other way we can handle this, so I won't have to destroy you?" Castiel asked, his voice menacing as it was filled with confidence and power.

Unexpected pain shot through my body, causing me to shriek, my voice echoing in the woods for miles on end. They had declared war by their actions, and without hesitation Castiel threw the blade in his hand through the air, landing in the woman's heart. A bright light shone out of her eye sockets and mouth before her body collapsed to the ground. Her voodoo no longer worked now that she was dead, and I also made contact with the moist forest ground not much after. Castiel had killed one of his own without having to think twice, just to make sure I was safe.

It didn't take long before everyone started to fight, the brothers shooting two of the others as a distraction as Castiel pulled the blade out of the woman's body, to use it again one another angel. I wanted to help, kick some ass like they were doing, but barely managed to stand on my own two feet. The men I was now sharing my life with were murder weapons, and I had seen them fight once before, but this was different. They were so damn powerful, but so damn terrifying at the same time. They were home in the skill of combat and murder. Once more they were risking their lives to protect that of mine, and I still didn't understand why.

Everyone was involved in their own small fight, everyone except me and one other angel. A tall man that came at me at full speed, the sharp blade pointed right at my heart. Leaning against the tree I was pinned against earlier, I managed to stand up, looking the creature in the eyes as I prepared myself to get stabbed. He got closer, and just before the blade would impale my body, I mindlessly started moving. My right hand gripped him at his wrist, twisting it on himself, pointing the blade at his body instead. My movement was so quick that he didn't see it coming, causing him to walk straight into the knife.

Staring at his face that was just inches away from mine, I watched as his eyes burned away with bright white light, blinding me. Petrified I watched at how the life in him disappeared. Two empty eye sockets were all that I could see as my hand was still clenched around his wrist. I let a long and shaky breath go before I yanked my hand back. His lifeless body collapsed on itself, hitting the ground right in front of my feet.

I had just killed someone, and I could feel the little amount of food that was still left in my stomach coming up. My eyes were glued on the corpse that was slowly gliding downhill, touching my feet again. I walked back as far as I could, almost crawling up that tree, just to get away from it.

I didn't mind that I had killed a dick of an angel, but Castiel's words that he had spoken so many hours ago were floating around in my head. Angels possess vessels, vessels are humans that permitted the angel to possess them. I had killed an innocent man, a faithful, innocent man. My mind fell, rolling down a steep hill as I thought about everything that man could've been. A father, a brother, a son.

"Son of a bitch." Dean's voice caught me off guard, my eyes flew up at him. He had gotten hurt, but all the angels were dead. All of them except for Castiel that was busy healing the oldest brother who had hurt his ribs in the process.

"Lilly?" Sam spoke who worriedly approached me, helping me to get out from between the corpse and the tree. "Everything okay?" He asked as he placed both his hands on my shoulders, scanning my face for a response. I slowly nodded, empty-headedly staring in his hazel eyes.

"You killed him?" He asked afterward, cutting off my oxygen flow. "I'm sorry..." I whispered, shifting my eyes towards the ground as I was being gulped up in guilt. "What are you apologizing for? I should apologize that I wasn't able to help you out. But hey, you did it? You saved your own bacon." He said with a smile, as if killing someone was a good thing, as if he had to reward me for my deed. "I killed someone?" The soft words I spoke drowned in confusion. "You killed an asshole?" Sam asked, but I could tell that he started to understand me at the end of his sentence. He blinked a few times while taking a deep breath. My gaze drifted off again to the dead body of the man that laid a bit further. My eyes drowning in salty water at the thought of his innocence.

"He might've already been dead, Lilly. You don't know that." He explained, and I suppose he was right, but it didn't make the feeling that was going through me go away. "We have killed so many. Monsters, vessels. You get used to it." My eyes shot up to his again.

"I don't want to get used to this?" I asked, disgust to be found in my voice. He bit his teeth when he realized how bad his explanation sounded. "How do you kill something without becoming a monster yourself, Sam?" I asked, seeking a logical reply.

"There is a little monster in all of us." Castiel spoke who stood next to me. I didn't see that he had approached us, and before I knew it he placed his hand on my forehead. A warm feeling flowed through me as I closed my eyes to embrace it. The pain faded, the swollenness in my lip disappeared as the wound closed itself up. His grace that was coursing its way through me was rebuilding every broken molecule in my body, causing me to feel strong as I felt the tips of my fingers tingle. Just when I had welcomed that feeling with open arms, it left as Cas pulled his hand back.

"Lilly-Mae." He said as I slowly opened my eyes again, to meet his rather gray looking ones. His eyes looked damaged, not as lively as usual. I turned towards him, wondering why he had said my name. "You're no longer safe. Heaven wants you. They want you dead." I swallowed slowly, trying to place the fact that something Holy could want such sinful things.

"I will protect you from them, just like I protect the brothers." My eyes scanned his face, studying his features, ready for whatever he was going to say next. "I will carve Enochian sigils in your ribs, to keep you hidden from Heaven's grasp." I barely understood what he meant by that, but trusted him, so I nodded. He bit his teeth as his eyes briefly looked me up and down. "This will hurt." He warned me, before placing his hand on my chest. The feeling wasn't so bad at first, until he dug his fingers tightly in the fabric of my tank top. I closed my eyes at the feeling of millions of needles flowing through my veins. Biting my teeth as hard as humanly possible to hold back my screaming.

Looking down at my own body, I could see a warm red light shining from within my flesh as burning flowed through my bone marrow. I gasped for air as he let go, falling forward when my body decided that it had been through more than enough in one day. I collided with Cas who prevented me from falling to the ground.

"Jezus Christ..." I exhaled while trying to recover from the pain I was in seconds ago, my hands digging in his arms as I tried to balance myself. "My apologies, but it had to happen." Castiel spoke, who helped me get upright again. "So now what? Heaven can't touch me anymore?"

"They can, but angels are no longer able to locate you." My eyes met his. "All angels? Including you?" I asked, and he nodded. "We'll fix you a phone, no worries. This angel is tech-savvy." Dean spoke who gave Castiel a pad on the shoulder.

Not much later we were back in the car, on our way home. Hoping that this time around we would make it there in one go, without another angel stop along the way. What just happned had me confused. Heaven wanted me dead because I didn't belong here. Which was understandable in some way. Different realities were bleeding over into each other. I had a desteny on my own earth, a plan that was carefully mapped out, and I was bending those rules, but not intentional. Did they know I wasn't fully human, like Castiel had felt before?

He and the brothers had protected me from the angels, Castiel killing his own. My eyes drifted off to the five angel blades covered in blood, that were laying between us on the backseat. Dean decided to take them with, just in case. There hung an uneasy tense atmosphere in the car that was killing me, but also the others.

"Why are they after her?" Dean broke under the pressure. "You heard what they said, Dean. They want her dead because she isn't from this universe."

"So if Heaven is after her, what does that say about Hell?" Sam asked, making my stomach turn at the thought of demons chasing me. "I doubt Hell will get involved with this." Relief filled my body for a brief second, till the angel continued talking. "Unless they too discover she isn't human, and not from this reality."

"I'm not some type of collectible?" I snapped when I had enough of it. They all wanted me because I was something unknown to them. Something they could poke with a stick and see how I would react. Castiel looked at me while his hands rested on his lap as he studied my anger. "So they know I'm not human? And what, God sent his top tier group of sadistic angels to smite my ass? Or to choke me to death, apparently." I grumbled, crossing my arms as I stared at the leather seat in front of me. "Who knew angels were such dicks." I sighed, trying not to make eye contact with the one sitting next to me as I insulted his species.

"God hasn't been around to give orders in a very long time, if I had to guess; Micheal must have given that order." An archangel had its interests put on me, and I didn't even want to know what would happen once he received the news that we had crushed his little following.

"So now what? You guys are gonna train me, right? To become on of you?"

"A hunter?" Sam asked, looking at me over his shoulder as I nodded. "I don't think you wanna be one of ours, kiddo." Dean spoke, but I already settled for how I wanted this to go. "She needs to be able to defend herself if she would find herself in a situation that we are not there to help." Castiel defended my opinion, which I was grateful for. "But first, we need to find out what you are." We made eye contact, wondering how he wanted to do that.

The angel had a plan that he would share with us once we were back in the bunker, our words hidden from the outside between the thick and warded walls.

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚎: 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚕 𝚎𝚢𝚎𝚜 -

- 𝒞𝒶𝓈𝓉𝒾𝑒𝓁'𝓈 𝓅❁𝒾𝓃𝓉 ❁𝒻 𝓋𝒾𝑒𝓌 -

Heaven was now involved in trying to figure out what Lilly-Mae was, turning this into a high-risk job. We were exposed, and it wouldn't take long before Hell would want to associate itself with her.

Having arrived in the bunker, I put my focus on executing my plan. "We will have to open a rift to your original dimension." I spoke, leaning against one of the many bookshelves in the library. Lilly's eyes met mine, she looked worried, scared. I figured that going back to her home-world was the best option. "We can try to get you back home." I continued, but only received negative reactions, especially from Lilly herself. She bit on the inside of her cheek, drowning in thoughts as she looked for a way to respond to my offer. The idea of her home frightened her.

"I don't have anything to go back to, Castiel." She finally spoke, her eyes glued on the wood of the table she was sitting at. I had hoped she would have agreed. If we would return her, there was no reason for Heaven to be upset at her. It would make her life easier, but she had her mind set on the thing she had grown attached to, and it brought her life in uncertainty. She was yet to discover the dangers we would bring her way.

I decided it was best to stop about her going to her home-world, and spoke about how we would open the rift instead. "How did you do it, open the rift?" I asked, meeting her eyes again.

"We didn't open them, they just appeared in the barn of Thomas's dad. I thought it was because the wall between worlds there was the thinnest." She explained, and there was some truth to her story, but she was unaware of how those 'portals' truly functioned.

"Rifts don't open by themselves, my best guess is that your presence sparked them in existence." Another sign of her being a supernatural being. "There's no way, why would they always appear in the barn and not in my house if it was me doing it?"

The mind is more powerful than most think. The rifts were a way for her to connect with Thomas, a reason for them to see each other. "Your emotions towards Thomas must have had an influence on the location." I explained, causing her to fidget with the strings of Dean's sweatpants as her cheeks got a light pink color. I tilted my head slightly as I tried to figure out what I had said that caused her behavior.

"So you're saying that Lilly needs to open that portal?" Dean asked who sat beside her. I shook my head. "It will take longer for her to get that skill under control than for us to just do research and gather the right ingredients."

Inter-dimensional travel was an extraordinary unique skill, the only other beings I knew were capable of doing so were the Archangels, and God himself. She was one of the mysterious ones. Beautifully damaged, ruthlessly scarred, we were yet to discover what she was, but I already knew it was something all-powerful.

"So, a spell to open a rift to another dimension? How will we know it's the right one? I mean, there are millions of alternative dimensions out there, right? How will we connect with the right one?" Sam was asking the real questions, as per usual, but lucky for us was the solution sitting right in front of us.

"Through Lilly's memories."

"That sounds like it's gonna hurt." She said, looking at me for a reply that would entail the opposite of her speculations. "I will have to intrude your memory, which is already quite challenging on its own, but now because of the warding it will be a rather unpleasant experience." A long explanation for saying; yes, it would hurt.

Dean eyed his watch. "When we starting? It's just past ten, think we can do a bit of research before we go to bed?" Everyone agreed, even Lilly-Mae who was rather lost in this world. The brothers and I had experience. We knew what books to consult for specific information we needed. Not wanting to exclude her, Sam picked out a couple of books that could have potential, for her to read through.

Hours passed, books were excluded, empty beer bottles were collected and Lilly her head hung lower and lower until she had fallen asleep, lying with her face on one of the books as her cheek was getting squished. Sam who had just taken a painkiller for the headache he was experiencing, chuckled at the sight of the unconscious girl. "We should bring her to bed." He spoke before yawning, he was also in need of rest. Dean also looked at her, a soft expression on his face.

I think it was safe to say that we all had grown fond of her, even though we didn't really know each other yet. Today was the first day everyone met Lilly-Mae. The real Lilly. She had changed over the last weeks, which was only normal.

My eyes were lazily reading over the words in front of me, skipping most of it, looking for keywords that could lead to more information when Sam stood up to stretch. "I'm gonna call it a night." He said before walking around the table, heading to wake Lilly up to help her get to her room. He crouched so he would be at her eye level, carefully waking her from her sleep. "Lilly."She grumbled in protest, frowning her eyebrows at the sound of Sam's voice.

When people sleep, they are in their purest form. Expressions change, softening, and relaxing under the deep trance. When one sleeps the body heals, the mind stores new memories while destroying others.

"I'll bring you to bed, you want me to carry you?" Sam whispered, patiently waiting for a reply that she wouldn't give because she had fallen asleep again. He called her name again when his patience ran out.

"No." She mumbled, slightly adjusting the way she was laying on the book with her face pressed against the pages. "You wanna sleep the rest of the night sitting in a crappy chair, while laying on a book?" Sam asked, an amused tone in his voice to be heard. "Yeah..." She answered, almost exhaling the word in annoyance. Eventually, the youngest brother stopped trying and was ready to go to bed himself, when I took the task of bringing her to her bedroom on myself. I slid the chair from underneath me as I stood up, walking towards her.

"She said she's okay with sleeping here." Sam informed me as I carefully pulled her chair back to pick her up. "She's passed out, she doesn't know what she's saying." I replied, carrying her unconscious body in my arms. Lilly was so tired and in such a deep sleep that she didn't even wake at me picking her up.

I walked down the halls with her laying in my arms, like the night we had found her in that warehouse. Brief images of how much blood was running out of her wound flashed in front of my eyes. The trail it had left behind took weeks before it fully came off of the tiles, leaving them stained red for days on end. It was one of the many memories I had that I would rather forget, but will never be able to unsee. I kicked her bedroom door open with my foot, before carefully laying her on her bed, covering her with sheets afterward.

Biting on my teeth I took a step back, looking at how peaceful she looked when asleep. Although seeing her like that gave me a double feeling. I much rather had her walking around, biting her tongue trying not to curse. I caught myself staring, and wondered why I felt so obligated to take care of her. Why we all felt that urge to make sure she was safe, happy, and all right. She was a complete stranger that had fallen into our laps during another classic hunt. But yet, this was different.

I had lost my belief in fate years ago after God had turned his back to Heaven and earth, but something inside of me said that meeting her was faith. It had to happen, as if it was carefully planned out. If I didn't join the brothers, they would never have discovered that she was still alive, and it had been months since I had joined them to take care of a case. The chances of me tagging along were so minimal, the chances of her being stuck there forever were so big, but yet it happened.

I had to discover why we were so drawn to her, and with that thought going through my mind, I left her room, not fully closing her door because of force of habit. When she wasn't awake yet, we always left her door open for just a couple of inches, to make it easier for us to hear if something would happen while being in another part of the bunker.

I returned to an empty library, Dean had gone to sleep, leaving me alone to do research. I didn't mind it, however, I could find peace in moments where I was alone. I had put my mind on some old artifacts from in the Black Grimoire, very dark and powerful witchcraft. Skipping over most of the pages I came to a chapter that caught my attention. There was talk about inter-dimensional travel, and when my eyes read over the word 'rift' my heart dropped.

A long and complicated spell was listed, ancient language mixed with a list of rare ingredients. I had found a spell that claimed it would perform exactly what we needed. With the book in my hand, I flew to the pantry, checking how much of the ingredients we already had laying around. For once in our lives, we were lucky and had everything right here in the bunker, everything but one key ingredient; Angel grace. Deciding I would drain my own later on, I made sure I had everything prepared so it would be ready to go once the others would wake in the morning.

Carrying a bowl that was filled with herbs, crystals, the blood of various animals, and the book I decided it would be best to perform the spell in the dungeon. There, the rift would be surrounded by thick warded walls, in the hope that Heaven wouldn't notice the portal opening all too much.

Once I arrived, I crushed all the ingredients together, carefully measuring out the amounts and keeping an eye on the order that I poured them into the bowl. Bathing a painite gemstone in the dust mixture I had created, cautiously covering every bit of the surface with it, to gently brush off the excess afterward. After having placed the gem on the floor, right in front of the big devil's trap that was painted on the floor of the room, I was almost done. The only steps left was collecting my grace, and waiting for the others to wake to perform the spell after having seen Lilly-Mae's memories of her home universe.

Unscrewing the cap of a glass test tube, I prepared myself to extract my grace which was a delicate procedure. Putting the cap down, holding the tube I revealed my angel blade from within my sleeve. Placing the glass against my throat, I slowly brought the sharp metal of the blade closer to my neck, it touched my skin right above where I held the tube, so it would be easily collected. I put pressure, ready to cut my flesh open when I got startled.

"Cas, what the hell?" Lilly's voice filled the room unexpectedly, almost making me drop the things I was holding. "What are you doing?" She questioned as she walked straight at me, her voice sounded angry but her face showed concern. "Lilly, you are awake?" I asked, turning in her direction to meet her. She yanked the blade from my grasp after having come to a complete stop right in front of my feet. I had to look down to meet her gaze due to the height difference.

"Isn't killing yourself a sin?" She snapped, hiding the angel blade from me behind her back, defending it, as if she was able to keep it from me, even if I would try to get it back.

"I wasn't going to kill myself?" I asked, shortly after realizing that the scene she had walked into did suggest otherwise. "The spell calls for angel grace." I explained, pointing to the book on the table next to us. "Oh..." She whispered, slowly revealing the angel blade again, to lay it down beside the collection of paper. "You found a spell to open a portal?" I nodded, turning to show her the list of ingredients and ancient words. "I have everything ready to go, except for the grace and your memories."

She read over the words as I took a moment to look at her. She was standing up on her own, and the way she walked towards me in full fury showed she wasn't struggling with it any longer. The few hours of sleep she had gotten and the meal from earlier had given her body more strength. It made me happy, seeing her slowly become the old Lilly again, the one from before all of this happened.

"Let's do it." She said, laying the book back down, suggesting to perform the spell under just the two of us. She didn't want to wait for the brothers, and I didn't think that was such a good plan. "We don't need them for anything, Cas. You've your grace, I've my memories. We can help each other out."

"Are you suggesting you want to slice open my throat to extract my grace?" I asked, slightly tilting my head to the left. Her eyes widened as she took a step back. "That was what you were doing?" I nodded. "Well, sure, I suppose." She briefly licked her lips before picking up the angel blade she had put down earlier. "You'll have to explain to me how this works though, before I accidentally kill your angel ass." I wondered how long it would take her before she started cursing, turned out not that long. She was scared, yet wanted to help.

"Well, it's just a matter of slicing the skin of my throat open."

"Ah, yes, I'm an expert in slicing that specific part of the body open." She replied with a smile, but I knew she was being sarcastic. If something did go wrong, I could always heal myself. I wouldn't lose consciousness unless too much of my grace was extracted.

I took a step forward, handing her the test tube. "You'll collect my grace in here, and make sure to close the cap tightly, so it won't escape." She nodded, focusing back and forth between the blade and the container, before looking at me. We were already standing relatively close together, but she took another step, almost standing with her bare feet on the tips of my shoes. Biting on my teeth I looked down at her, meeting her milk-chocolate colored eyes. "Ready?" I asked, "Yeah..." She exhaled, before standing on the tips of her toes to be able to reach my neck easier. Her hands were shaking, but there was no need to be scared.

I could feel her warm breath brushing over my skin as she leaned in closer, before placing the sharp end of the blade to my throat. Lilly was biting on the inside of her cheeks again, gnawing, trying to build op the courage to cut into me.

"It's okay, I'm still a celestial being, I'll survive." I gave her a small comforting smile, making her eyes briefly meet those of mine again, her pupils dilated. "I'm sorry." She whispered, before cutting into me. She drew a small horizontal line, and gasping for air I could feel part of me leave my vessel. I rapidly blinked a few times before shutting my eyes fully, biting on my teeth at the dreadful feeling. Life, power, was being drained from inside of me, making me weaker.

I could hear her closing the cap, and that was my clue to heal myself. Placing the palm of my hand over the cut, I mend all the molecules of my vessel, alongside the complicated matter that was me, back together. She had drained more than needed, leaving me dazed and weaker than expected. My legs tried to give away, but leaning with my hand against the table gave me support.

"Cas?" Lilly sounded, her voice vulnerable and concerned. I opened my eyes, lazily looking into hers. She scanned my face rapidly as she put the blade down, and the test tube that contained my grace, looking like a cloudly white light. Her eyebrows frowned as she grabbed me by the arms. "Are you okay? What did I do wrong?" She asked worriedly, not leaving my gaze for a second.

Little did she know that it wasn't her fault, but mine. After what happened in the forest the other night, I was cut off from heaven. My main power source was taken away from me, making every drop of grace count. I wasn't going to share this information, however, it was too early and if the brothers knew heaven wanted me dead again, they would be concerned too.

"It's okay Lilly. I just have to regenerate the grace that got drained, give me a couple of minutes and I should be fine." I explained, I could see her expression relax for a smidge, but not fully. She was happy I would be fine after a while, but that didn't change the fact that I felt horrible right now in this moment. "I'll get you a chair." She spoke before turning her back on me to get a chair from in the corner of the room. "No, it's okay, really. We will have to hurry if we want to perform the rest of the spell before the brothers wake up." It was as if my words had entered her one ear, and immediately spilled out the other.

On her face a moody expression, squinting her eyes slightly as she placed a chair down in front of me. She didn't even have to say it, and I knew exactly what she was thinking. I took a deep breath, gave a small nod in appreciation, and took a seat. Lilly decided to take a seat on the table, rocking her feet back and forth as she admired the grace in the glass tube.

"So, this is what gives you powers?" She asked, and I nodded. "What would happen if someone would drain all of it?"

"I would die, or worse." She tilted her head at my reply. "I would become human." Lilly chuckled, thinking what I just said was a joke. "And so, every time you use your powers, you burn up a bit of this?" She asked, tilting the tube back and forth, making the grace inside of it slide back and forth with it. "Yes."

"And afterward, you have to regenerate, to get back to full power?" I nodded. "So you're basically like a rechargeable battery?" I let a breath heavy laugh go after she had compared me to that. "I suppose you could look at it that way." I spoke, meeting her eyes for a brief second because she was too focused on the bright white light to keep them fixed on me.

"Is there a limit to how powerful you are? Or does your grace just build up if you don't use it?" She was fascinated by what I was, and made me question things I never really thought about before. "I think that every angel has his limit of grace that he or she produces by themselves, but referring to your battery theory from before; there is a way to overcharge a battery." She grew curious at my words, seeking more information she leaned in closer. Her eyes no longer looking at the light, but right into mine. "By consuming souls, one can become stronger than originally intended. But nothing good comes from that, just like an overcharged battery, it breaks."

She took a moment of silence to place that information, the more I explained the more questions she had. Every response sparked curiosity and I decided I was rested enough for the next part, entering her memories. I stood up, offering the chair to Lilly, knowing the pain I would cause her would be too much for her to handle.

"Are you ready?" I asked, carefully studying her facial expressions so I would know the whole truth, not just what she wanted me to believe. Her eyes were glued on the piece of furniture as she slowly swallowed. "This is really going to hurt, isn't it?" She asked softly, her gaze slowly meeting mine. "I'm afraid so." I didn't want to hurt her, but it had to happen if we wanted to find out what she was. Lilly exhaled as she took a seat on the chair, brushing her hair over her shoulders so it hung over her back."Well then, let's get on with it."

"Do you want me to explain how this will work?" I asked Lilly as I took my trench coat off, together with my suit jacket, rolling up the sleeves of my shirt so all the access fabric wouldn't get in the way. She nodded gently as she nibbled on her lower lip, her legs impatiently trembling while she didn't know what to do with her hands. She was extremely nervous, and I tried to calm her down with my words. Stepping closer, I started to speak.

"I will place my hands on your head, entering your mind, searching for the right memories that give me the right amount of information about your home-world. I will look for key differences so I can tell universes apart. I will try my best to not enter personal memories because like I have told you before; I respect your privacy. Every memory I will enter will be pulled back, making you experience them along with me."

I had just warned her that the following minutes would be filled with images of the past. Some of them may be good, others bad. Nonetheless, it would be a physically challenging procedure to go through, but it wouldn't be any easier mentally. She didn't speak another word after that, just waiting for me to get started.

I stood in front of her, now the tips of my shoes almost in contact with her feet as I build up the courage and strength to enter this pure soul. I was going to harm her, make her feel awful, but biting on my teeth I recovered the last piece of Angel Soldier that was left inside of me. I had a job to do, and while wearing a cloak made out of empathy-less angel over my shoulders, I placed both my hands on her head.

Lilly-Mae looked me straight into the eyes, a small smile on her face as she noticed my hesitation and struggle. "It's okay, I'm still a supernatural being, I'll survive." She had twisted my own words I had spoken earlier. My fingers inter-twined themselves with her strands of dark brown hair as I tried to get in direct contact with the skin of her scalp. Placing my fingertips on the right pressure points. Lilly took a deep shaky breath as I closed my eyes, ready to enter her mind.

"My apologies."

My eyes lit up with a bright blue light as my grace started to break down her soul, entering the disorganized mess of cloudy memories. Every image I would pull from her mind would play in front of her eyes, so I had to be careful. I had to keep my curiosity on a leash, wanting to get to know her past, wasn't allowed. Careful to not pull up the bad ones, the ones that could ruin her. A bad memory is poison our mind pours out for us, a poison we get addicted to, unable to stop pouring over and over, wondering why we feel so sick all the time.

Finally, I decided on a memory I would enter, the back of my head filled with screaming that I tried to ignore the best I could. A field, a barn, on the right in the far distance a small white house, on the left a big farm. I stood in the middle of a grain field, the sky above my head had a pink color as the sun was setting. Right in front of me stood a big red barn, voices filled my ears and as I looked up, at the roof of the barn, I found Lilly and Thomas sitting on it next to each other. That wasn't what I was here for, the white house in the distance caught my attention. I assumed it was where Lilly-Mae lived.

I left that memory, seeking another that would involve the white building. It didn't take long before I found one, entering it, biting my teeth at shrieking that bounced around in the back of my head. I still stood outside, the barn in the distance, unable to see the farm, but standing right in front of Lilly's house. Loud laughter filled my ears as I looked to the left, Lilly was laying in the grass, wearing nothing but a simple yellow bikini, next to her laid Thomas wearing black shorts. It was a hot summer day and they were tanning, although Lilly was turning red instead of brown.

Shifting my focus back to the house, I caught the address, I knew where I was. Monteview, Idaho. A very small, simple farmers town, surrounded by endless fields. That was it, it only took two memories for me to figure it all out, but the leash broke, and my eyes shifted back to Lilly and Thomas.

I watched how he made fun of her for getting a sunburn on the first warm summer day. He poked her skin, making her gasp for air at the pain, followed by her glass of water that she poured out over his head. They were laughing, both happy and free.

I stared as I tried to imagine what type of person Thomas used to be. He cared for her, he loved her. Lilly sat across from him as a mirror, reflecting the same exact feelings, yet they never got around to discuss it. If I didn't know better, I'd say that a cupid was behind this, but this universe, there were no angels, no Heaven or Hell. Thomas stood up after being drenched with water, grabbing one of the ice cubes that had fallen onto him, to hold it against Lilly's neck. She screamed at the icy touch, knocking his arm away to stand up, running past me towards the garden hose that hung on the wall.

"Don't you dare, you little monster!" Thomas yelled, pointing at Lilly who had a big smile on her face, her white teeth shining. "Too late! Besides, you're in urgent need of a shower, smelly!" She turned the hose on, soaking Thomas who tried his best to hide from the ice-cold water. Her sweet laughter filled my ears, admiring her I allowed myself to enjoy seeing her happy.

My name that got cried out caught my attention, realizing what I was doing my heart dropped. I let go of her head, my own mind being pulled through a black tunnel before returning to reality. My eyes met those of Lilly that was sitting in front of me. Her cheeks wet as she looked at me, her eyes red and swollen from crying as she was gasping for air. I broke down, realizing what I had done. "I am so sorry..." I whispered before kneeling in front of her to be at her eye level, my hands resting on her shoulders as I tried my best to comfort her.

Lilly bit on her lip, blinking another tear away. "That hurt like a bitch." She spoke under her heavy breaths. "Please tell me you know enough?" She asked, her voice shakey, already scared at the thought that she might have to go through this again. I heavily nodded, I knew exactly where we had to go, but was worried at the fact that I had pulled her through a train of memories of her and Thomas. Closing her eyes, she wanted to speak; "I..."

"Stop, I know. You don't have to say it." I felt horrible, and I wiped away another tear that tried to make its way down her cheek. For a while, all we had was eye contact because that spoke more than words could ever do. In that very moment, I had promised myself I would never hurt her again, I would never lay another finger on her with bad intentions, and she knew. She could tell by the silent conversation we had. I was never good with words or understanding humanity, but she made it easier.

It was about to turn seven AM, meaning that it wouldn't be long before Sam would wake up. The salty water on her cheeks had dried up, but the whites of her eyes that were still red gave away that she had cried. When Lilly's heartbeat had calmed down and her breathing went back to normal, I stood up, rolling down my sleeves to put both my jackets back on. Her mind was hazy and I decided it was best to leave her in silence for a bit longer, while I prepared the last parts of the spell. In the meantime preparing myself to travel to her home dimension.

- 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗: 𝙻𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚟𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚢 -

- 𝒞𝒶𝓈𝓉𝒾𝑒𝓁'𝓈 𝓅❁𝒾𝓃𝓉 ❁𝒻 𝓋𝒾𝑒𝓌 -

"Koth Munto Nuntox"

The ancient words rolled over Lilly-Mae's tongue who stood behind me, holding the Black Grimoire in her hands. She had spoken the spell to open the rift, and as soon as the last sound escaped her mouth, the gem laying on the ground in front of us started to glow. There was a deep rumbling sound to be heard from within the stone as it collected its powers.

The Winchesters were still fast asleep, giving us the opportunity to finish the spell without their interference. I looked over my shoulder to the startled girl who was staring at the bright orange light that shone out of the gem, before a bright flash filled the room. The crystal had exploded, causing a small yelp to escape Lilly. Pieces of it bounced against the walls like glass shards as the blinding light took the ability to see from me. The bright light died down; revealing the brutal rip in reality it had created, lighting the room with a warm orange tone. The rift was long, like a crack in a stone wall, the core bright white, framed by an orange glow. It moved slowly like an organism, waving back and forth, showing signs of life.

I had seen a rift once before, but standing right in front of the tear in space and time that was made out of pure compressed power caused me to be nervous. We were unsure of how long it would last, and the last thing I wanted was to get trapped on the other side. Deciding it was best to just move as quickly as possible, I walked towards the rift. Right before I was about to make contact with it, Lilly grabbed me by the sleeve. She spun me around, making me look straight in her eyes.

"Do you want me to go with?" She suggested, concerned about my safety because she knew the place, and I didn't. I would be lost in the world she had grown up in, but I had to do the right thing. I shook my head, taking her back to her home-world would mentally kill her, and both of us knew that all too well.

"Are you sure? What if something goes wrong, Cas? I don't know how to get you back... I don't have grace to open up another portal. Maybe it's best if I just go?" I grabbed her by the shoulders, cutting off the words that kept on flowing out as a lost waterfall. "Lilly, it's okay, I'll be back before the brothers wake up." A short small smile appeared on my lips, trying to convince her, hoping to calm her nerves. "All you have got to do is promise me you'll be here when I return, okay?" She took a deep breath, sorting out her thoughts before nodding.

Letting my hands slide off her shoulders, I looked at the rift once more, collecting bravery within me. I stood right in front of the tear and could feel the burning heat coming off of it as I tried to figure out my thoughts.

It's just another earth, just like this one. There was nothing to be afraid of. With that in mind, my foot slowly dragged itself forward. Ready to enter the rift, Lilly spoke once more: "Castiel," she whispered my name as she distanced herself from me, "watch your step, it's a long way down." I looked back at her, causing my shoulder to come in contact with the crack. I saw her face, her concerned eyes that were glistening with orange before everything went white.

I was making the fall to the other universe, taking in my surroundings as I tried not to panic. A strong stinging pain flowed through my vessel, making it hard to breathe. The idea that Lilly used to do this with Thomas for fun was beyond me. Their curiosity got the better of them, risking so much for the satisfaction of getting to know other worlds, other outcomes, and realities.

Heat stung my flesh like millions of small needles, and before I knew it the orange color pallet that surrounded me went dark, and the rift in the other world spat me out like something poisonous. Rolling, scraping over a hard concrete floor covered in hay, I came to a stop. Just like in Lilly's memories had the rift appeared in the barn, like she was used to. Dusting off my coat, I stood up, briefly looking around me to make sure I had ended up in the right universe.

The absence of a Heaven weighed heavy on my shoulders as confirmation that this was the correct reality. It was night, and looking at the small amount of moonlight that shone through the cracks of the barn, I put my focus on Lilly-Mae's house. With the blink of an eye and a brief thought about the place, I stood in front of it. Looking at the white walls, as my gaze drifted off to the grass on the left side of the entrance. The memory I had seen earlier that took place in this exact spot played in the back of my head, only now there was no Thomas or Lilly to be seen. It was dark, the grass a somber brown color instead of bright green. In the air hung a chilled atmosphere, none of Lilly's laughter filling my ears, instead; the soft noises of crickets.

Looking back at the door that was blocked by police tape I took a moment to place the fact that she and Thomas were reported missing. Pictures of both their faces were glued on the outside of her house like wallpaper, underneath them laying in the grass bouquets of small white flowers surrounded by green leaves. I crouched down to pick up one of the bundles of flowers, pressing my nose against it to smell them. The soft and sweet floral scent filled my lungs, making me whisper their name; "Lily of the Valley."

The time I had got to know the girl named after the flower, she had informed me that she was very lonely, standing practically alone in this word to face it, but people did care about her. Tea lights circled her house, together with hundreds of flowers, all to support her and Thomas. Two young people who had gone missing from this earth, literally picked off of it like a flower, brutally ripped from life. One of them was safe and sound, the other had come to an awful end, but that would stay a mystery for the people in this universe, a case that would never be solved.

Clearing my mind, I teleported inside to be greeted by old and dusty furniture. By the looks of it, the place was practically untouched since she left. A house stuck in time, put on pause until its owner would return.

Her house was small, but filled to the brim with stuff. Books, plants, pieces of art, and gems were scattered around in a messy fashion, but you could tell she had thought the placement through. I stood in the middle of the living room that existed out of an old dark brown leather sofa with a small simple television, a big bookshelf, and multiple rugs. Directly connected to that the dining room, next to the dinner table stairs that led to the second floor.

The many plants that stood in her house were dead, the sad dried up leaves hanging on for dear life, another sign that this house was no longer a home to someone. Filling my lungs was mostly dust, but next to that a cozy cinnamon smell that blended perfectly with old dark wood. Her house perfectly reflected who Lilly was as a person. I wondered how long it would take before she would start filling her room in the bunker with similar decorations. A hint of a smile appeared on my face, imagining the scene of Dean freaking out over the scented candles that would slowly leak its scent into the rest of the bunker.

Shifting my focus back on the thing I should be focusing on, to begin with, I looked at the many books that laid on the bookshelves. My priority was finding out what Lilly-Mae was, and it didn't take long before I had gone through every single book, checking all the pages. She had a lot of fictional books scattered around, from an innocent series of books called Harry Potter, to a rather weird collection about the different shades of grey. Which I decided to not even look at, knowing it wouldn't deliver me the information I was seeking after.

Deciding to move on I went upstairs because I had a feeling deep down that the book mess would continue on the second floor of the house. The dark wooden stairs creaked under the weight of my feet as I made my way up, taking in as much of the surroundings as I could. Her kitchen was filled with drying herbs, on the windowsills glass jars with water. On the wall that led upstairs hung instead of classic family pictures, multiple animal skulls. Lilly's house had a spiritual touch. A bit, witchy, was the best way to describe it.

The closer I got to the second floor, the more prominent the cinnamon smell became. Old faded red wallpaper complemented the dark wooden floor in the hallway perfectly, together with the as dark wooden doors. The upper floor was as big as the bottom, giving her enough space for two bedrooms and a bathroom, although one of the two bedrooms had become an art room. I briefly laid my eyes on the many paintings that were scattered around the room before walking past the bathroom that strongly smelled of mint. At the end of the hallway was where her bedroom was located. The door of the room stood wide open giving me a direct vision of her messy bed that stood against the window.

On entering the room a weird feeling flowed through my vessel. Seeing the crazy amount of blankets laying on her bed that was swung open showed exactly in how much of a hurry she was the night she left to meet Thomas. I counted three different blankets, and that was quite a lot considering it was mid-summer. A half-empty cup of tea stood on her nightstand that was collecting a thick layer of mold. The weird feeling was the confrontation that went through me that Lilly was indeed lonely. She might have a lot of support from strangers, that pity her going missing, but there was not a single soul who took care of her house while she was gone.

Not a family member, not a good friend, no one. I slightly tilted my head in confusion at the urge to clean the place. I considered it for a moment, but when my eyes met a suitcase that was tucked under her bed, I changed my mind. It was clear that this wasn't Lilly-Mae's home any longer, but all of this was still hers. Instead of trying to get Lilly back to her homeworld, I decided to bring her belongings to her in the new universe she was trying to fit into. Pulling the suitcase from under the bed, I stopped myself.

Info. I was here for information on what Lilly is. Biting my teeth I forced myself to shift my focus, and blinked myself to the nearest library.

-To be continued-

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