#i know i shouldn't get involved in drama but some takes are just so stupid sldskfjs

[simpforsolas]

not me bookmarking a thread on twitter where someone said that solavellan is DONE and we aren't getting more content in datv so i can come back after the game is out and send them a youtube link of the compiled datv solavellan romance

[bunnyhugs77]

Daddy Daycare

Pairing: Technician! Jungkook x Teacher's Assistant! Reader

Word Count: 6.7k

Part: 1, 2, 3

Series Content: daycare au, suggestive themes, love at first sight? dilf jk, mentions of antidepressants, mint jk and blonde jk, jk cant sleep, sexual themes, he's so whipped, toxic ex, minor baby mama drama, gold diggers, mentions of death, complicated family history, cute kid cameos, reader can't drive, jk is good with his hands, mentions of abusive relationships, so much fluff.

Other Series Content: soft dom! jk, muscle kink, pussy puts his ass to sleep, unprotected sex (just don't), oral sex (f! and m! receiving), brief choking, minor breeding kink, hickeys, brief dom! reader, reader makes him wait, intimate cuddling, praise.

"And the kiss. Oh, Vanessa, the kiss was something else!" You exclaim, helping to set up the Christmas decorations around the class.

It was only the day after Thanksgiving which means the Christmas season was now in full swing. Stepping up on the small stepping stool to hang the green tinsel over the whiteboard.

"It sounds like you had a good night. What's the problem then?" Vanessa sets up the miniature Christmas tree in the corner.

"I did. Everything was going so well. Dare I say perfectly, until his phone was going off non stop from someone named Hanna saying things like 'when am I gonna see you again' and 'I can't stop thinking about our night together'"

Vanessa gasps. "So what did Jungkook say?" You chew on our bottom lip, "He was putting Ryan to bed in the other room, so he wasn't there when I saw those messages pop up." She tsks.

"I tried to tell you. Nothing good comes from dealing with a parent." You sighed heavily, looking out the window at the playground that was covered in a thick white blanket of snow.

"I know, but I couldn't help it. Him and his stupid smile and his pretty eyes." Vanessa hums smugly. "I'm sure Hanna thinks the same thing." You groan. She's right.

"You're right, I shouldn't get involved. She could be the mother of his child for all I know."

"For your own sake. You better pray she's not. Ex's are a royal pain in the-"

"Good Morning." Vanessa interrupts her own words as she greets the parents that walked in.

Crouching near the bookshelf while you organized the fallen books, from the corner of your eye you were able to pick up on the entrance of your minor headache. Not Ryan, of course, his father.

Ryan was just a sweetheart who greeted you with a hug so tight that he'd knocked you out of your crouched position onto your bum. "Ryan! Be careful." You'd never heard Jungkook's voice so stern. You make sure the boy is okay and help him back to his feet before moving your hair back to where it should be.

"Sorry, Ms. Hill." He apologizes with those big brown eyes that he clearly gets from his dad. "It's okay, I'm fine." You reassure with a smile and he runs off.

Jungkook offers you his hand to help you up but you stand on your own, dusting off your jeans with a clearing of your throat. "Are you okay?" He asks.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I promise. I landed on the carpet."

"That's not what I meant." He says.

Taking a quick glance around the classroom, noticing some parents still making their way in and out of the classroom and the kids making their way to their seats. "You know, now really isn't a good time-" About to move out of his way, he steps in front of you.

Instinctively your eyes rolled, trying to remember what Vanessa told you. Not to get involved. "I know you saw the texts. Let me explain." You shake your head, "It's none of my business, there's nothing to explain. You should get going. I wouldn't want you to be late for work."

With that said, you walk away, heading towards the desks where your students waited patiently for instruction.

Jungkook walked out of the daycare that day deflated and unable to think about anything aside from you, and that look in your eyes. Like you were disappointed, as if you had high hopes for him and he let you down.

He thought he could just move past it, maybe even accept that things wouldn't work out between the two of you, but seeing you everyday, smiling with all the other parents and giving him nothing more than a simple head acknowledgement was killing him.

As much as he wanted to explain himself, he didn't want to force himself into your life. He wanted you to want to hear him out, even if that meant the two of you not talking much or at all for a few weeks then he was going to have to be okay with that.

But there were some days he had to physically restrain himself from breaking the no-contact. He remembers the day vividly. It was the first week back from winter break, maybe he was so pent up because he hadn't been able to see you for two weeks or if it was how good you looked in your leggings.

All he knows is that somewhere between that mix and you squatting to pick something from off the ground, for the briefest of seconds he'd caught sight of the strappy black thong that rose over your hips before they were hidden once again under your bottoms.

No one would've noticed it. No one that wasn't mildly obsessed with you that is. He quickly sent Ryan off and left for work. Managing to somehow squeeze in 13 hours of work into an 8 hour shift, he'd overcompensated as a means to distract himself.

"So you guys just haven't talked since you shooed him?" Vanessa asks for clarification, wrapping her scarf securely around her neck, getting ready to head out after offering you a ride which you couldn't object to, weather conditions were worsening as you were entering the heart of winter in the middle of January.

"I didn't shoo him, but I definitely would've handled things differently if I knew he would start avoiding me. I didn't want things to end like this." You explain, digging your hands deep into your pockets the moment the two of you stepped outside. The chilling air blew in your hair and around your earmuffs with determination.

You strapped yourself in passenger seat, "So you didn't actually want things to end?" With your head laying back on the headrest you puffed out a stressed breath, unintentionally making a small circle of condensation on your window. Like a child you drew a little heart in the middle.

"I thought I did, y'know? Wanted to do what you said and stay away, but maybe I got hasty." She hums oddly, making a ominous "Mhm" sound. "What does that mean?" She pulls out of the parking lot slowly, the snow was really falling tonight, laying on the ground in thick increments.

"Nothing." Turning to face her with your body, "No, no. Say it."

"I've been here. You know I've been here, I've been in a very similar position, but I did somehow manage to get a decent outcome, but things could've gotten much worse, not just for the relationship but for his kid at the time. So, I guess what I'm saying is, take this little break to really think about if this is the kind of thing you want to get yourself involved in."

You nodded, sitting with your hands in your lap like an obedient child. Really taking what Vanessa was saying into deep consideration. Deciding to reflect on it for the rest of the car ride to your building.

"What a day." You sigh, as you drop your keys onto the small counter you kept near the door.

The first thing you noticed was how cold it was inside your apartment, as if trying to compete with the flurrying outdoors. "Why is it so cold in here?" You whisper to yourself.

Flicking on the lights, or at least that's what you wanted. "What the--" the switch flies up then down then up again with the tip of your finger as you restlessly try to turn the lights on. "You've got to be joking."

Wrapping yourself tighter into your jacket as you walk through your dark apartment, relying on the sheer memorization of the layout to get you to the bathroom where you tried turning on the tap. Nothing.

The pipes must've frozen. and the snowstorm blew out your power.

This was great news for you, you'd always loved the movie Frozen and now you get to experience it first hand!!

"You've reached the voicemail box of--"

"Fuck you!" You shout at your phone after 5 hours and the twelfth attempt you'd made at calling your landlord. He's always been an asshole but ignoring his tenants when they were freezing to death is an all new low even for him.

You'd managed to wrap yourself in a blanket burrito surrounded by the 4 candles you were able to light before your hands began to freeze. Your body was barely managing to keep warm until you remembered the small cheap space heater you'd bought from a thrift store a few years back.

But it was buried deep in your closet. However, it took you no time to find it as you dug through the mountains of miscellaneous objects and finally pulled it out from the bottom.

Rushing to plug it in with desperation. Then you remembered. There was no power. As badly as you wanted to scream and toss the heater across your dimly lit room, you didn't. Instead you sat quietly in your burrito and began to cry.

What if this was it?

Tomorrow your students would find out their teacher had frozen to death. Were you being dramatic? You weren't even sure. You're not even sure how they would react, but you're sure the parents would be shocked- and Jungkook.

Jungkook.

"Jungkook!" You gasp. Your freezing hands reaching for your phone, trying to type in his number as fast as you could but your joints felt like they were dead locked in place and moved 1 key per minute.

The phone began to ring, and ring,,,

On the other end of the line, Jungkook was also having a pretty rough night. Laying on his bed with his bare stomach facing the ceiling eyes wide open and his brain a never ending circus.

He tried to focus on his breathing, but he couldn't sleep.

He hasn't been able to get a good sleep for a few months now.

Turning on his side he looked at the picture of him and Ryan at his third birthday party. He was so much smaller then. 'I looked so happy' he thinks to himself with a sad smile on his face.

Beginning to wish that Ryan was with him in that moment but he knew it was for the best that he'd dropped him at his parents' for the weekend. He was beginning to enter one of those episodes and he couldn't stop it, no matter how badly he wanted to, no matter how hard he tries to.

Ryan deserved a father who could be happy all the time-- He sits up. Holding his head in his hands, taking deep breaths. Erasing those thoughts- trying to. Slowly letting his vision roam back to his night stand drawer where he kept his pills.

God, was it always going to be like this?

Lifelessly he reached for the handle and pulled it open, his hands blindly reaching for the cylindrical bottle and unscrewing the cap taking the recommended dose before putting it away.

He lays back down with a soft grunt, staring up at the ceiling tumultuously. Resting his hands on his firm core, focusing on the way it rises and falls with every breath, thinking about the day it stops. The day he's no longer sentenced to the time he's currently serving in his own mind-

"I should try to get some sleep" He mumbles to no one in particular.

His eyes shoot open after a mere 3 seconds of being closed. He listens to it ring, ring and ring, not sure he's in the mood to be taking any calls right now.

Though, it may be his parents with an emergency. He finds himself rolling onto his stomach, more than shocked to see your name pop up on his phone.

"Hello?"

"H-Hi! It's me. I'm sorry if I woke you up," Your voice was refreshing, like the first ray of sunshine after a dark and stormy night or the smell of fresh coffee in the morning.

"No, you didn't wake me. What's up?" You weren't sure if you were looking too deep into things but he sounded different. His voice was flatter, none of that familiar bubbly hint to be found in it, then again, It was nearly one in the morning.

"You probably don't remember but you gave me your card, and said if I ever had any technical issues I could give you a call," your teeth were chattering, prompting you to wrap yourself even tighter.

"I remember." How could he forget.

"Yea! Well, my apartment has no power or running water, so its pretty cold over here, and I was wondering if you had any tips or tricks on how to get something to work."

He sits up abruptly. "What?"

"Yeah, my landlord is pretty shitty and hasn't answered my calls, I'm not even sure if maintenance is available or even knows about the situation themselves." You hear some muffling on the other end assuming he'd dropped his phone but it was actually Jungkook rushing to put on a shirt.

"Hello?" you say blankly, wondering if you'd lost connection.

"It's a fucking snowstorm outside. You'll freeze." You laugh, and that stops him in his tracks for a moment, "Oh I know, I'm getting a little taste of that right now actually. Do you by any chance know what the first signs of frostbite are?"

"Send me your address, I'm coming to get you."

"No, Jungkook. I wont let you do that, the roads are terrible." He doesn't respond, or maybe he does, you couldn't hear over the sound of keys jingling.

Clearly it was useless trying to change his mind, and the last thing you'd want is for him to go out of his way for nothing so you sent him your address.

What would usually be 15 minute drive had turned into 40 with the poor weather conditions but it wasn't any more than an hour before you heard knocking on your door.

Still wrapped in your thick blankets you opened it.

"Are you alright? How do you feel?" Jungkook inspects you, taking your hands in his, "You're ice cold." He says, reaching into his jacket pocket and placing his hand warmers in yours. "Keep those, they'll help you warm up." He insists.

"Do you have everything?" You nod while briefly raising your overnight bag. "Okay, let's go."

The drive over was silent, you somehow managed to fit your seatbelt over your jacket and blanket that you couldn't part with. Jungkook periodically looked over to se if you were okay, never actually saying anything but the concern in his eyes was evident with every glance.

The first step inside his place gave you chills, the good kind, finally. Not the ones that left you shaking for warmth. It was so warm, Jungkook took your bag while walking you towards the living room as he turned on the fireplace, suggesting you warm up before doing anything else.

"Here," He hands you a warm mug of hot chamomile with a bit of honey for sweetness. "Thank you, Jungkook. For everything." You say sincerely, afraid you'd be repaying him for all the times he'd saved your ass in this life and the next.

"Don't mention it." Unwilling to accept such a humble response, "No. I'm serious. I disturbed your night, and you dropped everything to help me." He smiles for the first time all night, it was a small one but it was still a smile.

"I told you, already. I wasn't doing anything. I'm actually glad you called, it was nice to get out of my head for a bit." your head tilts unconsciously at that last part. "Nevermind." Checking his watch, it was nearly three in the morning.

"I set up your stuff in my room. It's getting pretty late, you should get some rest." Your eyes were feeling pretty heavy now that he mentioned it, you didn't fight it. Slowly standing from the pile of throw overs you'd buried yourself underneath making your way upstairs.

"Wait." You pause at the first step.

"Where's Ryan?" You should've realized sooner, but what could you say, you were a bit wrapped up earlier. Literally. "He's at his grandparents, probably snoring right now as we speak." You smile.

You'd gotten ready, taking a much needed shower and tying your hair back into two braids so that they would have some soft waves for tomorrow.

You sat cross legged on Jungkook's bed with your MacBook on your lap as you went through some of the classroom picture's you were yet to send to parents from the Winter Wonderland Concert the daycare had put on last week.

"Hey," Your head snaps up to see Jungkook peeking his head through the door, "I just wanted to say Goodnight." He says and you smile, but you'd just come across something you're sure he would love to see.

"Come look at this video of Ryan singing his interpretation of the opera singer we had perform last week." Jungkook sits beside you on the bed with his legs stretched out in front of him.

He paused when he turned to look at you, "What?" Your face is puzzled at his concentrated expression. "I didn't know you wore glasses?" He says and it reminds you that this was the first time he'd seen you with lenses on, or anyone for that matter.

"Yeah, I usually wear contacts-- Look! This is the part," You get distracted as the video begins to play. And somehow one video turns into five and the computer slides off your lap into the gap between the both of you as your head laid against his padded shoulder.

You'd fallen asleep. Slowly Jungkook closes the laptop and places it on the nightstand, even more carefully removing your glasses and placing them on top of the stowed away device.

Letting you down gently until your head hits the pillow, he sneakily begins to slip out of your grasp. "Stay." You say, your eyes closed and body still. Maybe he was hearing things. He shakes it off and begins to step away.

"Please, m'Cold." You mumble into the pillow with your eyes still shut.

"Do you want me to turn up the heat?" He offers like the gentleman he is, for the first time he saw a sign of consciousness as you slightly shake your head. "I want you to stay, please?"

He was nervous. Settling himself under the convers with you, remaining as far as possible and turning off the bedside lamp. Within two minutes his body froze as you'd rolled over from your side until your head was on his chest.

He wonders if you could feel the way his heart was racing.

you could.

"Relax," you quip, half-awake. Oddly enough, that actually does help him to relax, his arm instinctively wrapping around your waist for comfort. Feeling your body against his didn't trigger his perversions as he once thought it would.

It felt so much better than that. He felt, comfortable. The way your body radiated a calming heat onto him and reassured him that someone was both physically and emotionally present was just enough to lull him to sleep.

As the night morphed into a radiant sunrise you began to stir in your sleep. Your limbs stretching across the the grey sheets and soft blankets while the tips of your fingers roamed the surface.

Slowly remembering where you were and realizing you were in the bed alone. Though you specifically remember going to sleep with him. When did he get up?

Tugging down the leg of your sweatpants that had rolled up at the ankle at some point during your blissful sleep. Rubbing your eyes as you stepped into the bathroom to brush your teeth before finally following that pleasant scent that was wafting around the house.

"Still avoiding me?" You joke as you laid your eyes on Jungkook's broad back that was facing you as he flipped pancakes. He turns to you with a lopsided smile.

"Avoiding you?" Nodding, letting your hands trace the back of the chair before taking a seat at the island, watching him.

"Yeah, you've been avoiding me since thanksgiving." His brows furrow then raise in a mix of confusion and astonishment. "Me? I have not been avoiding you. I was giving you space."

Bracing your hands down on the countertop you shake your head. "Yes you have. Every day you see me and just leave, not a good morning or anything."

Jungkook flips this battered treat a little harder than he should. "Yeah, because the last time I had tried to talk to you, you made it pretty clear you didn't want to talk, so why would I force it?"

You sigh. Vanessa was right, maybe you did shoo him. "I didn't mean to disregard you so inconsiderately, I was just-- I don't know what I was feeling in that moment, honestly." He turns to face you once again, leaning back on the counter.

"I know, that's why I wanted to explain myself." Your eyes watch his buff chest raise and fall as he takes a deep breath, "My eyes are up here." He points between the two of you, and you felt like you could just fall over and die.

You clear your throat, deciding that you simply couldn't make eye contact with him at all after that!

He notices your embarrassed body language, "Hey, I was just joking, I don't mind your eyes wandering a little." He teases and it somehow made your face even hotter, you were afraid you would burst into flames.

"Just-Just go back to what you were saying." You almost plead as you run a hand through your wavy hair.

Jungkook plates the last pancake on to your elegantly presented plate, before sliding it in front of you. Making a plate for himself he decides to eat standing up in front of you with his plate on the counter you could maintain direct eye contact.

"I met Hana about a year ago at Ryan's old school before we switched here. She's another parent I'd met at one of their events. I was going through a lot of shit back then, so relationships were the furthest thing from my mind but one night about 6 months ago, our kids were away at a summer camp for 2 days; and after a few play dates over the prior months, she'd called me to let me know that Ryan had left one of his toys at her place. So I went to pick it up, but we ended up talking, had a few drinks and one thing led to another and then shit hit the roof." He sighs before taking a bite of his breakfast, which is delicious by the way.

Your head tilted to the side ever so slightly, subconsciously of course but Jungkook took it as an indication to explain. "I made sure it was clear to her it was just a one time thing and she agreed. For the first few weeks I thought we were on the same page, but then she started calling me and leaving these... desperate voicemails. After that I already knew I wouldn't be be bringing Ryan back to that preschool, besides their teachers were terrible." You nod, no longer eating as the story kept you fed and engaged.

"At first I thought she would stop over time, but she didn't. It only got worse, so I finally called her back to let her know she needed to stop but she wanted to have the conversation in person, which sounded reasonable to me at the time, but I should've seen right through it because low and behold, the same mistake was made, once again."

"Wait," You pause him, "So when did you guys hook up the second time?" His eyes look up to the ceiling as though the answer was written on it, "Sometime around the end of August, just a few weeks before school started." The twinge of jealousy that bubbled in your stomach was undeniable but you had no right to be jealous. He literally had no idea you existed at the time.

"And she kept calling your phone all the way until Thanksgiving?" you say with a weird tone, unsure how Jungkook would've let her continue to bother him for so long. Almost with shame he nods,

"I kept saying I would get around to cutting her off once and for all, but I went to a pretty dark place, y'know how life can get sometimes. I didn't care much for anything at all, but when I saw what it had done to us," he gestures between the two of you, "I realized my negligence was driving away people that were important to me, and I didn't want to lose you. So I had ended things with her once and for all shortly after new years. Y'know, wanting to start off the year fresh and shit like that."

You swallow, "I had no idea, you were going through such a hard time." You say almost sadly but maintain the soft smile on your face. A similar one creeping onto his face, "Well then that's good. Means the antidepressants are doing their job." He chuckles and you didn't know whether to laugh along or be concerned.

"It's okay Y/n, you can laugh." You smile, "I-I just don't know what to say. All this time I was thinking I was some kind of home-wrecker or that you were seeing someone else, but to hear you explain what was actually going on makes me feel like such an idiot."

Jungkook scoffs jokingly, "Homewrecker? If Ryan's mother was still in the picture, a 'homewrecker' would be exactly what I would need, and a bullet to the head if I'm being honest." he shakes his head, remembering what he describes as the worst time in his life. Your hand boldly clasps over your mouth stifling a laugh at his dramatic expression.

He laughs, "I'm serious, though." His smile fades, "Those are seven years I can never get back." You flinch at the number, that's almost a decade. Calculations begin to roll around your head autonomously. "So-" You begin to say but he already knew where you were going with this.

"We met at 15, had Ryan at 21 unexpectedly, but no regrets of course, and broke up at 22, thank god." Releasing a calming breath of air as he says that last part, clearly they didn't end on good terms if he feels so at peace every time he mentions her absence.

"But that's enough about me for the day. How's your apartment? Any updates on the power?" You shake your head, digging back into your food, "Hopefully it should be fixed by tonight, I'd hate to over stay my welcome." Jungkook rolls his eyes, "You know I want you here more than anything, and I'm not letting you go back to your place until things are up and running again."

You didn't bother fighting him on it, you knew it would be you fighting a losing battle so you let him have it.

It would be a lie to say that you didn't enjoy your lazy Saturday with Jungkook, the two of you lounged around the house talking the day away. You watched breaking bad and kept saying that you had to stop to do some schedule planning for the kids but you couldn't seem to leave the couch, or his arms. "Just one more episode" becoming a meaningless statement.

He was seriously invested in your stories from your travels in Europe over the summer, expressing how he dreams to visit one day.

Time seemed to have zoomed for the next 3 hours, now bringing you to a dark sky and the crackling fireplace keeping you warm as you played a childish round of truth or drink.

The two of you sat comfortably on the carpet with the game cards stacked neatly on the coffee table which was also responsible for holding your shot glasses.

Your chest was already warm from the consequences of three passed questions while Jungkook only had passed two.

"Your turn," your voice bubbly and excited as you pick up the card for Jungkook, flipping it over to ask him. "What's something you've never told anyone?" He sits there, and you can see he really thinks about it. Glancing back and forth between the shot glass and the card in your hand.

"I'm a millionaire." He says it so casually, with a bit of booze in your brain you begin to die of laughter. "Yeah, me too." You snicker, slwoly beginning to quiet down as you realize he wasn't laughing with you.

"Oh my god, are you being serious?" He shrugs, "I guess so. Remember when I said I was going through a lot of shit a year ago? Well part of that stems from me getting some cryptic ass letter that basically announced the death of some rich guy who claimed to be my biological father and left me his inheritance."

You sit there quietly, "I showed my parents the letter as a gag, expecting to get a good laugh out of it and that turned out to be one of the most depressing conversations I'd ever endured." Jungkook honestly wasn't sure why he was telling you all this, he'd told you things today he never thought he'd share with anyone but there was something that let him feel like he could be open with you.

"So you're telling me, you found out you were adopted and suddenly a millionaire on the same day." A slow nodding of his head was all it took for you to see he clearly wasn't thrilled about it. "I still haven't touched the money, really. Although I did use it to cover my parents' mortgage for the next few years. I don't really know what to do with the rest of it."

A small hum escapes your throat as you ponder, "If you ever feel like it's a burden to you, don't hesitate to just pass it on to me. It'll be hard but I'm sure I could think of something to do with it." His head falls back as his body shakes slightly with his laughter, "I'll keep that in mind."

"Your turn," He says, hands reaching to flip over a card as he reads it out to you. "How many people have you slept with?" He makes a certain face at the card as if he was displeased. "This is a bit invasive, do you want me to pick up another one?" You shrug, "I don't mind answering. It's one."

"Like one this year?" It slips out before he can catch it, and he regrets it, you can tell. "No. Just one person, ever. My ex. I'm not really one to have any sexcapades. I have a rule." You're sure if he had bunny ears, one would flop up in curiosity. "Oh?"

"I never go all the way with someone until at least six months of dating them so I can see that they're all in for the right reasons. hence why only one has made it so far. Everyone else usually thinks they can like persuade me three months in." Suddenly your throat felt like it was lined with sandpaper. "Is that a deal breaker for you?" Intently you watched the way he played with the ring hooped in his bottom lip with a serious expression.

"Are you saying we're dating, Y/n?" A teasing smirk spreads across his lips. You look away, unable to handle the intensity of his gaze on your from a mere foot away. "If that's okay with you-" A gentle hand cups your jaw as he turns you to face him, taking your breath away with a sweet kiss. His lips were as soft as you remembered them to be.

You could feel a certain shift in the kiss, turning from gentle and sweet to something a little deeper. It were as though there were magnets between your bodies, you found yourselves impossibly close to the point Jungkook forced himself to pull away from you, only to welcome you to straddle his hips.

"I'm okay with that." he grins before resuming his passionate attack on your lips.

2:04am

Your glasses were on and your hair was up, that was a sign that it was time for you to finally go to sleep yet here you were. Sitting up at the table with a stack of files you'd brought from your place that you needed to go through.

The border around your eyes were tinted red as you strained to stay up and finish, but you weren't even close.

"You're still up?" Jungkook says softly as he comes down in nothing but his black sweatpants. "I could ask you the same thing." Hardly sparing him a glance as you write down numbers onto the papers.

"You know I don't sleep much ever since I got my prescription. I can get 3-4 hours at night if I'm lucky." You frown, finally looking up at him, proud of yourself for not letting your jaw hit the floor as you patrolled him as he went to fill a glass of water from the fridge.

You knew he had a sleeve of tattoos, it was one of the first things you'd noticed about him, but you had no idea his back had its own art as well. The sleeve of tattoos that creeped over the back of his shoulder as it morphed into the most beautiful pair of inked angel wings that spread out across the expanse of his upper back.

You swallowed, shaking away your filthy thoughts. "What's got you up so late?" He leans over you to get a glimpse at the papers. "Regulatory compliances." It was so cute when he was confused. "Basically I have to cross reference the curriculum with our lesson plans and report that everything we're doing is aligned with the boards' outline." It dawns on him in the form of a soft 'ah'.

"When does this have to be done by?"

"Wednesday," It comes out with a rough tone and exhausted groan, you were clearly stressed. "Okay, Y/n, it's only Sunday. How about you put a pin in it and get some rest, hm?" Warm hands are placed on your shoulders and you nearly fall asleep right there but you shake your head, "I'm fine, I can keep going-" You yawn for what must be the 4th time since Jungkook came down.

"Okay, That's it. Come on, we're going to bed." He closes your files and takes your hand, letting you hop out of the chair and follow him up the steps debatably against your will as you're sure you would've given up no longer than 15 minutes later.

The moment your head hit the pillow, you were out like a light. Jungkook chuckles to himself softly at the thought that you truly tried to argue that you weren't tired.

He slips in beside you, loving the way your body naturally detected him and began to roll over towards him just like you did the night before, slotting yourself into his side. Once again, your warmth and the soft feeling of your heartbeat on his ribcage mixing together, prompting his brain to release enough melatonin until his eyes closed.

-

"Good news." Is the first thing you say as you walk into the living room at 2pm after your well needed shower. "The power is working again at my place," Jungkook pouts at what he took as bad news, he was not-so-secretly hoping you would be staying a little longer.

"Don't look so sad, you see me literally every day." the dimple in your right cheek making a brief appearance as you smiled, making your way over to him on the couch.

"I know, but I really like having you here." You poke his cheeks that puffed up with his sad expression. "If you want to see me a little longer, then would you be okay with giving me a ride back to my place?"

He scoffs, "It's funny you thought I wasn't going to drop you off in the first place." he leans forward to drop a quick peck to your lips catching you off guard before bouncing up out of his spot, hardly giving you a chance to process.

The two of you making comfortable conversation with small giggles as you begin to put your jackets on, preparing to return you back to your apartment. Tugging your hat on with a firm pull before you picked up your bag and declared that you were ready to go.

Jungkook opened the door, stepping out with you closely behind him. Not sure if your eyes were blinded by the gleaming light that was reflected off the snow or the bright flashes of light emitted from the dozens of paparazzi camped outside the driveway.

Jungkook's name was shouted from various different people as they waved to get his attention as if being outside his front door wasn't alarming enough. Jungkook's face had been covered in disbelief just like yours, but differently he was able to shake it off and maintain his composure.

Taking your hand in a reassuring manner, he continued his path down the steps, whispering to you to keep your head down as you followed behind him. "Is it true that you're the secret son of the late business tycoon Jeon Jaehoon?" The woman holds a microphone to Jungkook, looking for an answer, and she most certainly got one.

"How about you ask me again when I make sure you're all behind bars for trespassing and harassment hm? How does that sound?" The flashes finally stop and some photographers begin to leave, Jungkook doesn't even wait for them all to leave, trusting that he got his point across clearly and makes his way to the drivers seat.

Once the doors closed it was as though you'd trapped in a foot deep layer or tension within it. Jungkook's chest rises slowly, flared nostrils and tensed brows before a slow and agitated exhaled. "It wasn't you right?" He asks.

Your posture straightens as you face him.

"What?"

"Tell me that it's all just a coincidence, Y/n. I tell you about the inheritance last night and suddenly there's paparazzi buzzing outside my house today?" Your head juts back, offended. "Are you implying that I told someone what you told me in confidence last night? Are you being serious right now?"

"I'm paranoid, okay? I'm sorry."

You sigh. As pissed as you wanted to be, you had to see it from his perspective. A swarm of paparazzi showing up less than than 24 hours after he shares the information with the first person outside his family doesn't exactly work in your favour.

"It's fine, I get it. I'd be paranoid too." He starts the car, leaving his now vacated lot behind. "Then who would do this?"

"Your guess is as good as mine."

-

The following day was as hectic as any other day but you loved your job. Working with such big personalities that were bursting out their small bodies.

But you did love the end of the day too, sayin goodbye and mentally preparing for some relaxation when you finally got home. All day you'd be fantasizing about drawing a nice warm bath with eucalyptus and lavender oils.

You thought of it as the perfect way to wind down after a long day. Although seeing Jungkook's face for a few minutes while he picked up Ryan.

"I'm here to pick up my son." You turn around with a smile, to the new and unfamiliar face. She was tall with dark long locks that were curled at the ends, her heels were high and her face was looked like it belonged billboards and magazines.

You were a bit confused, you'd never seen her before, and you're sure you'd remember someone that brought in such a domineering aura the way she did.

"Sure, if you don't mind me asking who you are." You wanted to remain as polite as possible not wanting to offend her.

"I'm Ryan's mother."

Tags; @talyaaas-blog, @chaconnelatte, @tokkiggukie, @skzthinker, @fangirls94, @xumyboo, @sugakookie132, @katsels, @appleh4ad, @cassies-cookies, @cassies-cookies, @bangtans-momma, @kissyfacekoo, @coralmusicblaze, @busanbby-jjk, @hrndez2008, @looneybleus, @gimeow, @jungkookslittlecarrothoe, @aiselle90210, @jungkookieeee97, @aloverga, @lovelytaes-blog. @itstiredteenager0207, @keiarajm, @junecat18, @nellyboosworld, @imaginethatblog, @gyukookswhore, @chxnb97, @jeodoll, @parkinglot-nights, @jjk97091, @rahullhere, @chaewonsrealgf, @thehxoe, @lpgirl2324, @coconchanel, @minaamhh .

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

don't hold hands, m | myg

pairing(s): yoongi x reader

summary: You're fucking your ex-boyfriend's ex-best friend. You also now own a condo with him and owning this condo has made you house-poor. Yeah, it's not the usual love story and it's not going to be one. Not until you paint the walls black, that is.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; mostly conversations and feels tbh; minor smut (fem reader, marking / scratching, m-receiving oral, doggy, penetrative sex); non-idol!AU; guitarist!music producer!Yoongi x novelist!reader - fwb / roommates-to-lovers

just a story about two people who shouldn't fall in love falling in love, I have plenty of nasty smut so this is a different beat for ya lmao

--

“Is it fun being tortured?”

“Not really, no.”

It wasn’t fair to be this critical but, as long as you didn’t let these words travel outside this room, it was fine, right? At least, you kept telling yourself that. Delusion at its finest.

“It’s so stupid that people enjoy sticking their nose in drama that doesn’t involve them only because their lives are too boring to have any,�� you sighed, tossing your phone across your desk, letting it skid into a pile of post-its covered in scrawled notes. “All because I deleted some photos.”

Notifications were now blocked.

“Some people mistake privilege with right.”

You glared at your phone even though the contents were the offender and not the device. Rolled your eyes, knowing you would be coming back to a shitstorm, but you couldn’t take it anymore. There had to be a limit. And the voice beside you had been telling you to put the damn thing down and stop deleting comments one by one, but the stubborn ram in you thought you could just headbutt through the bullshit.

And that imagery was gonna end there, thank you very much.

Your forehead found the palm of your hand and you sighed again, suddenly feeling the weight.

“I’m never doing that again.”

“You don’t have to.”

Minutes passed.

Silence never felt so serene.

Then it was cut through by steady, slow acoustic guitar, the notes drifting out from behind you. It almost made you feel more guilty. Almost. How fucked was that? You, sitting here right now, staring at nearly bare walls and a table covered in notes and your trusty laptop, almost feeling guilty for the guy that had backed out of the joint loan for this condo in the city that you didn’t even fuckin’ want, but you had been too far into the process to not lose a whole lotta money and too angry to let yourself lose.

How ironic, feeling guilty for the guy who cheated on you.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not,” was the guitar player’s response. “And you shouldn’t be either. For anything.”

You knew you shouldn’t apologize. It just felt like the thing to do, because you hadn’t been wholly right either and, even if you weren’t more in the wrong, you were still wrong, and wasn’t that fucked, putting levels of blame on a situation that, at the end of the day, was all said and done and left everybody bitter and full of scars.

The shitty part was everyone was on your case now and blaming you.

This was what you got for dating the lead singer of a punk band that skyrocketed to popularity on social media. Looked all elegant dark romance on TikTok and Instagram, just screaming and hate-fucking behind closed doors. Constant content to cover up the toxicity. And maybe it was your fault too, letting it get to your head that maybe you really were the beautiful, mysterious muse that the followers painted you out to be. You glossed over red flags – late nights, drugs and drinking, sleeping in rooms of girls that called themselves fans – all part of the industry. Nothing happened. Honest. But the greatest mistake was letting him tag you on Instagram. How cool was it that you were an author?

This bastard.

Not only had you given him some of your best quotes for his lyrics, but now you couldn’t publish those words as your own because this bastard would fuckin’ sue you for plagiarizing.

The guitar continued behind you, on the mattress on the floor.

So, not only were you getting crucified on social media at the moment because he had called you a backhanded bitch in his Instagram stories but also because you had deleted all photos of him on your profile and said fucking nothing. Silence to be polite and all that. He cheated on you, he was leaving you for some whore you had plenty of suspicions about, and, worst of all, he waited until you and him were finalizing the down payment for this expensive-ass-fuck high-rise condo – that money was out of your own pocket, not his, how convenient – and backed out of the loan for the mortgage. His reasoning?

You cheated on him first.

Hello?

With his former guitarist.

Hello?

Your ex-boyfriend had fired his former guitarist ages ago because you and him had gotten too friendly.

Alright, man.

You liked the guy, sure. Talked to him when he was in the studio and found you had a lot in common. Plus, he was crazy talented. Made most of the melodies, self-produced a lot of the songs for the band so they could save money, even contributed to lyric writing so they didn’t have to spend on that either. He even had a good voice, although sadly the band rarely used it. Your art of words paired with his knowledge of music made some viral hits. But then tensions rose between him and your ex when they started butting heads for no reason (there was a reason and it was ugly jealousy). Then arguments rose between you and your ex, but instead of breaking up, you buried yourself into writing your next novel to let the situation cool off.

Sigh, okay, call a spade a spade.

You were avoiding the confrontation.

He fired his guitarist and got a new one.

Then things were good.

Until they weren’t.

Of course, they weren’t. You didn’t solve shit, and he was fucking every girl that threw themselves at him behind your back. Good thing you had strict rules about condoms, otherwise you would probably have some lasting consequences right now. So, when the ground cracked and split apart from under you, what did you do?

Yup, this was the part that made you no better.

You found that former guitarist and fucked him.

Word travelled around. Word also travelled around that somehow you got someone to be part of that insane loan you got talked into. And, oh, shit, did things get messy once a certain someone knew who it was.

But here you were.

Feeling guilty.

You probably couldn’t publish for at least six months to a year because, harrowingly, your demographic was young adult – you had even relied on social media for self-marketing, fuck – and the half of a novel you had now had to be scrapped considering that so many of the quotes were now distressed in dark venues by the lips of an egomaniacal dick that you allowed into your pussy far too many times. Once was already too many.

Fuck.

You didn’t even want to live in the city.

It’ll be so much easier for me to get bigger opportunities. Don’t be a selfish bitch and only think about yourself.

You wanted to scream.

You wanted to throw your laptop into the wall and break it into smithereens, but you didn’t because this piece of technology was currently your only chance of making money. Fuck. Me. Always talking about himself like he was only important member of the band, even though it was the other guys who wrote most of the music and lyrics. No one sided with you, obviously. This was their job and technically not their romance. They were sympathetic but not empathetic to the point of jeopardizing their jobs. Obviously, you hadn’t signed any contracts for royalties or credit. This was supposed to be your soulmate.

Soulmates weren’t so generous to give you pennies.

You’re being greedy and self-important. Oh, so you’re only in the relationship for the money? I’ll give you money once we make it big. Once we get it all, I’ll buy you everything you want. But you gotta help me out now. We’re starving artists, ya know?

You should have asked your parents for monetary help, but you didn’t. Your pride didn’t want to hear the told-you-so speeches for dating a guy they didn’t choose for you. You also didn’t want the arranged marriage appointments back in your life either.

So.

Trapped in white walls, post-its of false starts, and impending doom.

Dramatic, but you were a writer.

“Come here and sit down with me.”

Some part of you didn’t want to face him. It was really dumb. He was your new roommate now. You were fucking him when you were too sad to avoid it, and it was pretty obvious he knew. You were living off his money. Sure, he only paid for half the rent but then food mysteriously appeared in the fridge, bathroom necessities were stocked when they were running low, cleaning supplies neatly sorted into the closet, and all that other shit. None of that wholesale stuff either, but the nicer things normal households could afford.

It wasn’t an exaggeration that you cried into the soap during your shower last night.

All because you finally acknowledged it wasn’t one of those shitty bars that made skin feel like plastic but actually fragrant lathering liquid that you could put on the dense, not-falling-apart-in-one-use loofah that you hadn’t bought. You would have been satisfied with cutting coupons and living on the dregs of the bare minimum, but someone cared enough to not let you do that, and you currently couldn’t do anything to contribute and probably couldn’t for a while.

And that made you feel undeserving.

Maybe you were only fucking him because that was all you could offer.

Pathetic.

The guitarist called your name softly.

Like a beaten dog, you got up and sat down beside Min Yoongi.

He continued to play a melody you didn’t know on his black acoustic guitar. He hadn’t moved in all his instruments and equipment yet. You had told him he could have the whole living room for his studio. He had asked if you were sure and you responded that you were sure that you weren’t going to have anybody over ever so, unless he wanted a living room space, you didn’t want one.

“Shit always happens, you know,” the deep voice reminded you.

“This happening was of my own doing and now I’ve ruined my own life,” you muttered, bitter over a boy and hating that you were bitter over a boy.

A small chuckle. “You have to admit you had help.”

Stupid boy.

“Can’t be helped. Humans are animals of regret.”

It stung to regret.

The guitar playing stopped and now you were met with silence.

Don’t cry.

But it was so tiring to be angry. So easy to be sad. So easy to think, my fault, for being swept up in what he was but not who he was, for believing that you knew what was best when clearly it wasn’t, for being spiteful on purpose. For avoiding looking at Yoongi in the face because you were too ashamed to acknowledge what was going on here.

For being too afraid to ask what he thought of it.

“I regretted not stealing you from him sooner. Thought you were too fuckable for that loser from the first day we met.”

A strange feeling.

Skin prickling, glancing the that pale hand of graceful, callused fingers simply resting on the neck of that guitar, not looking at Yoongi’s face even though you knew it quite well in profile.

“That’s one way to make me feel better,” you replied.

“I’m not trying to make you feel better. Just being honest,” he replied, tapping his fingertips on the wood. “You are ten times too talented and a hundred times too pretty for a guy like that.”

You twitched. “Are you shitting on my standards?”

“Back then? Yeah, I am.” A calm hum, setting aside his guitar and placing his elbows on his sweatpants-covered knees, charcoal gray and worn. “Pretty clear you went full desperado for a guy that didn’t deserve it. Also, he ain’t hot shit like he thinks he is.”

Ow and what the fuck. “Fuck off.”

You felt movement and tracked his hand raising, spinning a finger around his temple. A brief glance and the details sank in. Long, windswept black waves, light cream skin, pointed gaze directed forward and not at you, pensive slight frown of pink lips. You looked away again, past his loose white t-shirt and to your hands.

You used to be proud of them.

They used to be able to type prose like no other.

Now they were twisted in an oversized, olive-green sweatshirt that you picked up from the sale bin of the convenience store for dirt cheap and they didn’t write jack shit.

You also hated olive-green.

Nothing personal. It just wasn’t your color.

“You’re a psycho bitch to put up with him,” Yoongi commented.

He wasn’t wrong. “I’m a psycho bitch all the time.”

“Yeah, and I don’t date crazy.”

You thought you would feel insulted, but you were past the point of caring. Also, there was something about the way his calm voice said it. Like he knew what he was doing. Huh. That was a silly thing to think. Of course, Yoongi knew what he was doing. He did it. He let you in his studio when you tracked it down and camped out until he showed up. He had listened to your psychobabble and didn’t back away when you pinned him to the wall.

This wasn’t dating.

“At least, I thought I didn’t,” Yoongi added, not touching you.

He fucked you too. He wasn’t a starfish in bed, that was for sure.

“I wanted to get back at him too, you know,” that deep, hazy voice murmured beside you. “That bastard turned my friends against me, stole my mixes, and cut out all my connections. Made me start from the ground up, alone.”

Yeah, you did know that. You helped badmouth Yoongi. In the name of love.

Shit.

“Sorry.”

“You’re not sorry.”

Ouch.

“And you shouldn’t be, ‘cause what’s done is done and being sorry isn’t going to change anything.”

You untwisted your hands from each other, realizing your knuckles were white from anxiousness, and relaxed them on your bare knees. Best you could, anyway.

“Yeah,” was the best response you had. This fucking boy ruined your life and stole your eloquence too, apparently. Motherfucker. “You’re right.”

Neither you or Yoongi said anything.

Minutes passed.

Another night in the condo and both of you were sitting on a mattress with a single blanket, deflated pillows, and a box of condoms on the floor.

You touched his forearm the same time his hand moved to grip your thigh.

And then it was the don’t-look-him-in-the-eyes challenge, and he was doing the exact same thing, eyes averted, black hair over them, lips grazing your jaw. Breath against your ear. Hot. His neck under your lips, flexed, fair skin with remnants of bruises, and your teeth sank in, making new ones, listening to his hiss and feeling his hands slide under your sweatshirt. Weighted palms and blunt nails. Digging in.

“Harder.”

He scratched you up as you climbed into his lap, tasting flesh.

Those firm hands gripped your hips and forced them down. Grinding. Softness to growing hardness, unhooking your bra, hands all over like you had lost your mind, your thighs squeezing his sides, yanking his shirt collar down and licking up his collarbone, dripping spit, shivering as you saw it glisten over his marred skin.

Clothes coming off, thrown aside. Guitar sliding to the hardwood floor as bodies tumbled. Your hands on his chest, your hard nipples pressed into the sheets as Yoongi slipped his hand into your hair and shoved your head down. Mouth open, tongue curling around. Moan striking the air, echoing in the nothingness.

Hard, hot, now wet.

Up, down, hitting the back of your throat, unable to choke in the adrenaline of lust, in need, in desire for pain, rubbing your tongue all over as Yoongi face-fucked you hard and fast, thick cock swelling in your mouth, your lips grazing the swollen head and making him shudder, saliva slipping down your chin that was smacking into his balls.

Was it shameful that you were good at it?

Sex solved nothing but you sure had a lot of it as if it did.

A sharp gasp and salty cum filled your throat, drinking, swallowing with effort and the burning sensation of your locked jaw, maintaining the soft tightness. Tongue tracing the contours, keeping him hard, hearing the rip of a foil packet above your head.

You hadn’t even realized that Yoongi had let go of your hair, letting you lick him all over at your own pace.

“What position?” Yoongi panted, husky and breathless in the mostly empty bedroom.

Mattress, chair, desk, laptop. Oh, and guitar.

Bodies on the floor.

You didn’t say anything.

You just turned around and slid down, elbows on the bed, knees spread, ass up.

“Alright then.”

You bit your lower lip.

You almost turned your head, almost looked back, just to check, right, just to check he was okay with it, and then strong hands gripped your hips, lifting them, sliding in, condom on and stretching you out right away, his knees pushing your knees apart and forcing you to arch your back for the angle.

No chance to look back.

You gasped, gripping the sheets, blinded by pleasure and the fading resonance of pain.

Hard.

Deep.

You pushing back, deep not deep enough, hitting your preferred depth and letting your eyelids flutter, veins burning with the repeated ecstasy. One of your hands lifted and reached back, squeezing his hand on your hip, and the grip became tighter, fingertips digging in, smacking his hips into your ass, and your body threatened to throw him back, carnal power meeting his every thrust, clenching around his hard length, and you could hear Yoongi growl your name, low and deep and voracious.

Somehow, his name fell from your lips too.

Rough and sinful, no better than an animal.

His nails dug into your back and dragged down, burning lines into your skin.

Your head tipped back and you moaned, a clear, shameless sound that would become familiar to this ceiling. Pooling wildfire, tightening muscles, wasted nectar sticky between joined thighs, surge after shivering surge of orgasmic apex stinging your veins as you barely registered Yoongi’s shudder and blissful groan, feeling the pulse inside you made than hearing the sound.

The rush of blood roaring in your ears was far too loud for you to hear anything.

Your face felt hot, so hot.

Gripping the sheets, twisting them, pulling them off the edge of the bed.

This moment.

Very few things were as intense and exigent as an orgasm. Fleeting, but a violently memorable. Pure nothingness of soaring high. You chased it. Again. And again. And again, your fingers tangled in Yoongi’s dark hair, pulling it over his face but he didn’t look at you anyway, eyes closed and teeth trapping his lower lip, breath trapped in his chest, driving his hips into yours again and again.

You both kept going until the limits were reached.

The darkness willingly swallowed you up.

-

Min Yoongi always considered himself a rational person, which was precisely why he found himself entangled in the break-up between his former best friend and the only woman he ever considered committing a felony for.

Yeah.

He also didn’t believe in love at first sight.

She was still way too hot for that idiot though.

His eyes could communicate well enough with his dick. The short skirt and exposed thighs didn’t really help either. Still, Yoongi had let it be. Respect was keeping his distance despite racing heartbeat and keeping calm despite shaking hands. He got used to it once the late-night talks about music and wordplay became a regular thing. Sometimes they talked about general life and were surprised on how well they aligned. Still, she never spoke poorly about her then-boyfriend even though there was plenty to talk about.

Scorched earth was their sacred ground.

It was painful to witness.

Yoongi regretted valuing the friendship, mostly because it didn’t mean jack shit at the end of the day. He regretted believing in the elegant, age-old saying.

Bros before hoes.

Tch.

But mostly, Yoongi regretted pretending like nothing was wrong.

He would see the pain in her expression and not say anything. Watch her pack it all away and greet him with warmth that he didn’t deserve because he had a racing heart and shaking hands every time they met. He would watch his former best friend disappear into hotel rooms without explanation and Yoongi knew damn well it wasn’t right, but he kept his mouth shut because he was a coward, something he figured out later.

He could have washed his hands clean of that shitshow, but instead his hands had held her shaking shoulders and watched her struggle not to cry on that cold night.

Yoongi considered himself a rational person, but never a good one.

Too many ways to judge, and her lips had already connected with his as soon as his shoulder blades hit the wall. He didn’t stop it. Maybe it was bitterness. Vengeance. Hate.

No, it wasn’t any of that, actually.

He didn’t know exactly what but, in that moment, Yoongi knew that he would murder that asshole if he saw his former best friend’s face right then, ready to commit a felony all because those beautiful eyes couldn’t look at him, closing instead to blink back the tears that bastard didn’t deserve.

That meant something, all right.

He knew it could take a long time. He knew it would almost certainly be hopeless. He knew he would probably end up with a broken heart and broke as hell. He knew it was a bad idea and he knew it was going to tear him up, this spiral, but when he found himself looking up to the ceilings of these mostly empty rooms, this condo he now half-owed with the woman that was formerly his best friend’s girlfriend, and Yoongi found he didn’t know and he didn’t care what the future held.

She had trouble sleeping.

Less trouble after exhausting themselves.

He had trouble sleeping too, but that was because he was staring at the ceiling and wondering just how rational he really was. One hand behind his head, under the pillow. The other resting on the blanket, on the curve of her hip, feeling the steady hum of her breathing.

She never cried in front of him.

He knew she did cry, because he heard her in the bathroom sometimes. But never in front of him. Showed anger, yes, but never acted helpless even though it was perfectly reasonable to feel that way after everything that happened. Living on the least for his sake, even to the point of skipping meals and spending all her time trying to write, trying to get back to her livelihood, trying to get past all the false starts. Personally, Yoongi felt that she should give up for now and heal herself, but he also knew how it felt to feel stubborn and useless.

Hah.

It was weird, being so close and yet so far away.

He felt it most in the nighttime, even though that was when he was closest to her.

He was never going to be the same. He knew that. He already wasn’t, surprising himself with his own recklessness, and for what? He didn’t even know what she was capable of reciprocating after receiving all those scars. Didn’t even know if he was the right one, if he was better or worse, if…

If he was believing in something that wasn’t there.

Yoongi closed his eyes and went to sleep.

-

Livid.

It was weird. Feeling it. In the past, you buried it, numb, and promptly lived in delusion. But now you could feel it. What was more, you let yourself feel it. There wasn’t anything to stop you except for the occasional mental peanut gallery of you’re a bad person if you feel jealousy, but anger could overtake anything if you let it.

You stared at the scene before you, several meters away.

Seething.

It felt good.

Mostly because it was honest.

It surprised you. You hadn’t expected to feel anything. Sad, maybe. You had already been cheated on, so naturally you assumed the cycle would begin anew, just with less promises and in the gray area of uncertainty. But, no, instead of being distraught and delusional, you felt maddeningly, viciously, nearly on-the-edge of making a fist and dislocating Min Yoongi’s jaw from his skull because he was speaking to a female-presenting human at the entrance of the building that housed his and others’ music studios.

Did you lack context? Yes.

Would that get you arrested? Yeah, probably.

Would that probably not get you laid anymore and label you as an unhinged psychopath? Without a doubt.

But would it feel good?

Don’t know.

You had never punched someone before, although maybe you should have practiced on your ex-boyfriend. He was probably a more deserving candidate. In any case, you remained frozen in perplexation at your willingness for violence because you were pretty sure your… relations… with Yoongi were nothing more than a lonely bitch and a spiteful silver tongue executing revenge, so the amount of fucks you should give about Yoongi speaking to any human being – other than the obvious health and safety precautions – should be zero.

None.

Basket of fucks empty.

And yet.

Clearly wasn’t since you were mentally calculating the angle and force for jaw dislocation while having zero experience in doing so. In any sort of non-virtual manner, that is.

Hm.

Your hands were firmly in the pockets of your black cargo pants. The hip ones, although you had plenty of choice. You kept them there for the safety of passerby or, maybe deep down, yourself. This caused your jacket to fall open, the outlines of the sew-on patches and thick, bunched-up black denim crowding the space between your forearm and waist, your black cropped tank exposed to the chill evening air. You used to wear a plethora of band t-shirts, but, well, those were probably in a landfill or rotting in a secondhand shop.

You figured you would be cold. Unsurprisingly, the anger kept you warm.

Huh.

You thought about turning around and just straight up leaving, petty and picturesque of course, and then Yoongi seemed to sense your projected violence, looking up from the conversation. Dark waves over his cheeks, striking body line, backing away, hiding his eyes for a moment, not that you could see them that well from this distance. You twitched.

The girl reached out.

Yoongi simply bowed, out of reach, and pushed the glass door open.

Honestly, her role in this moment was so miniscule that you completely ignored whatever she did or possibly could have said to Yoongi’s retreating back. Sharpened gaze, and then he crossed the street with the crowd, walking past oblivious bystanders who may or may not become the harrowed audience of the next thirty seconds.

He stopped before you. Bomber jacket, white shirt, black track pants. Monochrome elegance.

You looked up at him, saying nothing.

Over one shoulder was his usual guitar bag that held said instrument and his yellow notepad sticking out of the pocket. He used it to jot down whatever came to him. You almost said something. Almost. Then you remembered that if this, this between you and Min Yoongi, if this was supposed to be nothing, then weren’t you supposed to do nothing but voice your casual annoyance for making you wait rather than, well.

Admit insecurity?

You looked away quickly.

No, it did not matter how reasonable it was, you didn’t like knowing that somehow you had been weakened by an ex-boyfriend, barely a man, no, a mere locust at best, so it was better to not say anything and accept that this was–

“Sorry, I got caught up with the staff about ending my lease.”

Compromised.

You didn’t look at him. “What?”

“Gonna end my lease this month and move my studio stuff to the condo. I can’t afford both.”

He had told you this already. It had been your idea. You already knew you were overreacting to a situation that you created in your head rather than reality. And, yet, the best your mind would allow was uh huh, a plausible explanation, sarcasm included.

“Ah. Right,” was your sharp, mildly frigid reply.

“I can’t read your mind.”

Do you intend to be exhausting?

Your mental peanut gallery was super annoying.

You breathed in. Cool, crisp air. The sound of cars and people bustling in and out of stores. You breathed in again. Did you really intend to be exhausting, irrational, and, worst of all, dishonest? Really, after all that had happened? After getting here, standing here, arriving to pick up Yoongi at his request to do the grocery shopping together?

You turned back to look right into black-brown, piercing orbs.

“I just realized that I have the ability to be jealous,” you exhaled, draining your lungs. “It’s unpleasant and not nearly as delightfully pivotal as the media makes it out to be.”

Something fluttered in those orbs.

Or maybe it was the wind catching his bangs, drifting black strands over his eyes shadowed by dark circles.

Yoongi half-smiled.

“Makes for good songwriting material though.”

There was an air of helplessness to his words. A tone you couldn’t define, except for the understanding, which left you both baffled and with a sense of guilt. There were emotions in that barely-there smirk on those familiar lips. Relief. Maybe a slight bit of shame. A shadow of guilt too. You realized people were glancing at you and him as they walked past, wondering why you both were at a standstill on the sidewalk. Yoongi seemed to not notice them or care.

You pulled your hands out of your pockets.

“Come on. We should go before it gets dark.”

Before you noticed it, your hand was rising.

You pulled it back, but not fast enough.

Yoongi’s free hand reached out and grasped around yours, strong fingers enclosing. Sliding up, calluses on your palm. Your hand lowered, slowly, your eyes moving in the opposite direction. Lips parting. His hand was colder than yours.

You stared at Yoongi.

He looked back, expression unreadable.

“I don’t hold hands,” you said, suddenly breathless.

You tightened your grip.

“Neither do I,” Yoongi replied, taking a step, on the cusp of walking past you, his hand around yours. “I simply just don’t like the idea of yours getting cold when I can do something about it.”

Previously, when you held hands, it was always with a purpose of showing public affection. The look-how-real-this-is-because-there-are-clear-witnesses show. Front row tickets nobody asked for. But this.

This.

You blinked hard and the sting was inside.

The sting of wasted time.

Your name in that raspy, soft voice. Familiar. You looked up, not saying anything and hoping the eye contact was enough. All Yoongi did was smile lightly and tug your hand.

“Let’s get take-out and shop tomorrow. We have plenty of time to eat healthier.”

-

“You can cry in front of me.”

Min Yoongi heard her breath hitch and still.

Seconds that felt like hours ticked by. It was the dead of night. Or maybe one could call it the time when honesty came to life, if the conditions were right. He knew this time well usually with a drink in his hand, but this time he was laying on his side with bruises of bites and carnal memories lingering on his fingertips.

“I wasn’t crying.”

Her voice was thick and strained from trying to keep it even. Her moment of jealousy had happened days ago. He had recognized it right away. Call it personal experience. He also recognized that she didn’t like to feel that way. It was obvious from her torn yet furious expression. It confirmed a lot of things for him. Still, she seemed pleased to help him move and set up his things in the bedroom. They found the living room to be a bit too echoey due to the large space so they switched the two, pulling the mattress to the living room and setting up his equipment in the center of what was formerly the bedroom.

He told her to paint the condo.

She had mentioned in passing that someday she would like to paint her entire living space black. Not this place, because he owned it too, and you probably think I’m crazy for wanting a dark space, huh, Yoongi? He asked her, why wait? No one lives forever. We’re just passing through.

She had given him a weird look.

We own this condo. Paint it.

There were cans of black paint waiting.

Yoongi had intended to go visit his family over the weekend. His parents and his brother who had recently been promoted to head chef at the classy restaurant he worked at. Someone in the family needed to have prestige. Well, that was his own personal feeling. Surprisingly at this point his parents had given up on telling him to get a higher-paying job. They told him to simply be happy.

And get married.

Yeah, about that.

He was still trying to get used to the music producer thing, for fuck’s sake.

“Are you afraid I won’t understand?” Yoongi let himself say, not turning around yet.

Sometimes, people didn’t want you to see them weak. He could understand that.

Call it personal experience.

A shuddering sigh. Deep breaths. Words bogged down, drained.

“I can only be so pathetic before I lose my mind recalling the past,” she mumbled. He felt her weight deepen on her side of the bed, as if she was trying to melt into the mattress. “I made things hard for myself. For you. It’s pointless to cry about it anyway. In the end, it only makes me look ungrateful.”

Yoongi thought about it.

“It’s true that you probably shouldn’t have involved me.”

He shifted, laying on his back now.

“But I’m not a good person either. I agreed, after all,” he murmured, his skin tingling with bruises and carnal memories. “Hm, to be honest, he was always a dick though, from high school till now. Always will be, I fear.”

“You’re easygoing enough not to be affected by his asshole behavior.”

“Not my job to change people. I leave that to parents and clueless fools.”

A pensive silence. Surprisingly not an irritated one. She seemed to accept it.

“Why did you become his friend?” she asked, staring at the ceiling with him.

“We just happened to like the same thing. Music.”

“I’m lucky you decided to become his friend.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment. Then, “I’m lucky that somehow he managed to bamboozle a hot and clever girl, two things he’s obviously not.”

She almost laughed. Almost.

“Who the fuck uses the word bamboozle?”

“You had to admit you were bamboozled, because you sure as hell weren’t dick-drunk.”

“Oh? You think you’re that good, huh?”

“No, I just know he’s that much worse.”

The faintest of chuckles.

“You… You get better every time,” she admitted. “I think I just caught you off guard the first time.”

“Firstly, I don’t like wasting time and, secondly, I had given up for a while before…” I met you. “Romance seemed like an expensive, worthless distraction when I could be using that time and money trying to push the band forward,” he pivoted, running a hand through his hair to push it out of his eyes. “Then that went to shit.”

“Sorry.”

Automatic.

He chuckled darkly. “I’m confident I got the better deal.”

A trembling pause.

“Why do you think that?”

He reached over and placed his palm on the top of her head, lacing his fingers in her hair. Messing it up.

“Tell me the truth. Was he good at sex?”

A burst of laughter. “Really? Alright. No, he wasn’t. He sucked. Thought he was a piston of a muscle car instead of a human being. Oh, and once he fell asleep on top of me.”

He cocked an eyebrow. Turned his head and forced hers to turn as well.

She was smiling.

Yoongi found his chest tight and breath shallow.

“And you didn’t leave him then… why?” he pressed.

She winced, albeit playfully. “I yelled at him. A lot. I don’t know, maybe he was tired.”

“Not an excuse.”

“I know, I know…” Sigh. “I… I didn’t want to believe I made the wrong choice.” Her eyes shifted, but her body was still turned to face his. “I… It made my entire family angry, dating him. Especially my parents. They would never forgive me and hold it over my head forever. I had to make it work. I thought, if only I worked hard enough…” Another heavy breath, squeezing her eyes tightly. “I know it was pride, but I wanted to prove to them and myself that I could do anything. Bad choices? Maybe. But they were mine. I don’t want my life decided by what is best for me. If I suffer for it, those are my consequences.”

Her eyes opened, but barely.

Yoongi kept his hand on her head, running his fingers through her hair.

“I… I feel like shit because now you’re stuck in my mistakes,” she breathed.

He liked to touch her hair. It felt comforting.

“You know what your problem is?”

She glared under lashes and dared him.

Undeterred, he continued. “You blame yourself for shit that hasn’t even happened.”

A disapproving frown. “Hah?”

He tapped her forehead. “You think it’ll bother me if you cry, but what truly bothers me is that you cry alone.” Pushed back the strands, and now he was closer, sharing breath. “You think I’m stuck in your mistakes. Mistakes don’t inherently have only negative consequences. They almost always exist in a gray area.”

“I... I know that,” she grumbled, face against his chest.

“I did say you were clever.”

A drifting, drowsy silence.

“I’m not clever,” she whispered to his skin, pulling her body closer. “I just like you.”

Yoongi felt himself losing to sleep.

“I’ve always liked you, since the moment I saw you,” he muttered into her hair, breathing in the familiar scent, so quietly that he wasn’t sure if he said it at all.

-

“Ah? Yes? Sorry about that. Oh, yes, uh, I’m painting. Everything. Yes, I’ll be sure the keep the windows open. Thank you.”

You closed the front door of the condo. Well. You had expected nervousness, but somehow the conversation between you and the downstairs neighbor had been very calm. Apparently, he worked from home and wasn’t expecting the loud crash of the ladder from your unit.

In your defense, you hadn’t expected it either.

Thankfully, you hadn’t been on the ladder, only trying to figure out how to set it up. It was one of those compact ones that saved space but required some innovative thinking to get the taller height you needed. One crash and a YouTube video later, the ladder was now secure, and then came the knock on the front door.

The thoughts flew by – I don’t belong here, I can’t do this alone, they’re going to scold me and I haven’t even done the upper half yet – but the guy just seemed curious and confused. Didn’t even comment on your awkward outfit of navy boys’ basketball shorts and ill-fitted gray sports bra. Both on super sale. You were still wearing your bra because of the incorrect size, so the gray blob was bordering on ugly-ass tank top.

Look.

Some people had clothing they didn’t care about to paint in and some people had to dive in sale bins because they left behind most of their wardrobe and, with the clothes, their bad memories.

That was the intent.

Things rarely go as intended.

For instance, you thought you were going to feel imposter syndrome for a neighbor knowing that you were painting your own goddamn walls. You turned away from the door after you locked it, frowning. That’s right. Like it or not, bad decisions and minus an ex-boyfriend later, these were your walls. You looked up, out the large, floor-to-ceiling living room windows, and saw the sunlight sparkle over the sprawling city, walls painted half-black and half white surrounding you, and you could say that you never wanted to be here, but.

It was a sick view.

We own this condo. Paint it.

Your muscles were sore from the repeated swiping motion of the paint roller, but there was still this inexplicable energy coursing through you.

“What if it doesn’t look good?” you had asked Yoongi.

He had shrugged. “Then we paint it again.”

“It’ll be dark.”

“Wow, really? I thought black was supposed to be bright and cheerful,” was the sarcastic quip. “Just believe you have good taste and paint the damn walls.”

This condo was an investment that made you poor.

That was the truth you needed to face.

You have good taste.

You scrunched your face slightly as you remembered Yoongi’s facial expression. Was he… praising you or himself? You squinted. This guy. Picked up the paint roller again and saturated it with ink black, making crispy crinkly sounds as you shuffled over the plastic. Good taste. Well, that was relative, wasn’t it? Everything was at the end of the day. You climbed onto the ladder and began the repetitive, monotone motion once more but at a higher elevation. You should have put your music back on. Your phone was on the plastic-covered mattress and you were not about to go back down until you finished this section or ran out of paint. This was going to be a long process, but you had several days and too much time as Yoongi had already left to visit his family.

Now you were alone with a lot of paint and mind-numbing fumes.

Shit, you should have opened the window.

You would have to paint a second coat anyway. Who cared if the first coat was shitty?

Sigh.

Climbing down and doing your due diligence before returning to your post.

You had forgotten once again to put your music back on. Hah. Well, that was fine; you had yourself. You didn’t mind being alone. Heh, sometimes it was better to be alone. You continued rolling away, hardworking in the consistent rhythm. Thinking about it now, this might have been the first time in a long time that you were okay with being alone. Before, you had felt guilty whenever you weren’t thinking about your relationship. Huh. Odd. Was it some kind of mental self-reassurance when you knew something was off? It was hard to tell, but possible.

Everything was off about that relationship. You just had too much pride to admit it.

You sighed, climbing back down to reload.

Wait a second. Was this why there was that wider step towards the top of the ladder? You poured some more paint in the tray and carried it up with you. Oh shit. Wow. Innovation. You coughed and went back to a different patch of wall. No one saw that. See, perks of being alone.

Well, you didn’t hate Yoongi being here.

You stopped painting.

You didn’t just think that.

You went back to painting. Shut up, nagging feeling. You furiously painted on, ignoring your soreness, telling that little voice in your head to shut up, because there were plenty of reasons not to think stuff like that. Firstly, you weren’t ready to think stuff like that. And what if it was only hopeful transference rather than genuine feeling? Asshole or not, your ex-boyfriend’s betrayal of trust was not something so easily overcome. It wasn’t fair to Yoongi either, pretending to like him if you weren’t sure.

You liked Yoongi before you broke up, too.

Wasn’t that fucked up?

You sighed and came back down, careful to scoot the ladder without spilling and causing a mess. Back up and at it. Of course, it was fucked up. And you knew it was, which might have been why you let it get that bad. Might? Was why you let it get that bad. Two hypocrites were meant for each other. You huffed, puffing your cheeks. It wasn’t enough to hold the ticking grenade; you had needed confirmation it was a, in fact, a bomb.

Maybe even hoping it would end you.

It didn’t.

For some reason, you thought Yoongi could see that in you.

Damn, he’s really living in your system, hm?

You frowned.

Your phone rang.

You almost jumped, startled at the sudden sound of an old song you used to enjoy. Back when you were a teenager, and the memories came back as you climbed down. A kid who just really liked rock’n’roll, and parents who did not, but that kid didn’t care, annoyingly setting it as her ringtone on her shitty flip phone. Couldn’t you be her again? Before you had time to ponder, you checked your hands for paint and picked up your phone, answering it.

“Hello?”

“Did you eat?”

You blinked, sitting down on the crinkly plastic upon hearing that deep, raspy voice. “Uh, no. I was gonna stop by the convenience store when the first coat was done.”

“No, you weren’t. You were gonna skip a meal,” Min Yoongi tutted. “Because you don’t want to be a nuisance and use the money I had left you.”

Damn. He knew you, all right.

“If I forget, I forget,” you grumbled.

“Yeah, yeah. Anyway, pick up the food order from the front desk when it comes. They told me about thirty minutes.”

“You don’t have to order food for me. I’m not a kid,” you hissed.

“It’s the pho spot you like and if I don’t put food in front of you, you won’t eat. You intend to do all that hard work without some fuel?” A pause. You made a disapproving noise. “And I know you’re not a kid. By the way, what’s your waist measurement?”

You remained a grump. “Why?”

“I’m here, so I’m going to buy you some clothes.”

“Don’t buy me clothes. Don’t spend money–”

“You need things,” Yoongi cut you off. “Unless you want to come with me? You don’t trust me?”

“That’s not it and you know it,” you snapped back. “It’s not worth–”

“Of course, it isn’t. It’s vain and silly and superficial. And I’m still going to buy you things, so tell me your waist measurement.”

“Yoongi, this is your hard-earned money,” you puffed out, exasperated.

“Yeah, and I make money to provide you with a good life because I think you are the most important person to me. So, do you want me to guess with my hands or are you going to meet me halfway?”

Dead silence.

He called your name, softly.

You told him in centimeters.

“Got it. Don’t forget to check the front desk in thirty minutes.”

-

“I love you.”

His hair was stuck to his face due to sweat. “What?”

“I said I love you,” she said, staring right at him, their chests shuddering from exertion.

Yoongi couldn’t believe it, but also he wasn’t surprised. The room still smelled faintly like paint. The windows still had no curtains or blinds. They were still fucking on the mattress in the center of the living room and he was holding the used condom when she said I love you.

The walls and ceiling were all black, covering them in darkness as the city below glimmered with light.

“I love you,” was his reply.

It startled him, the suddenness of his response. He knew he did. Of course, he did, and he turned away quickly, making his way to the kitchen and throwing away the condom, skin tingling, cheeks aflame, and he was startled by the feeling that remained. He hadn’t expected those words to come out of her mouth even though he was sure of his own feelings. Yoongi had resigned himself to not hear it from her lips. He also didn’t need to hear it to know that it was true.

He saw her head to the bathroom.

Time was funny sometimes.

Suddenly they were both staring at each other on the mattress, the usual ritual completed, and the moment suspended.

“You didn’t have to say it,” he finally said. “For my sake.”

“I didn’t.” Her hair curled over her shoulder, caressing her curves. “I said it for my sake.”

Blankets and pillows and questions.

“I wondered about the validity of it,” she admitted to him. “Been wrong before and all that. Might still be wrong. So, I said it just to see if I regretted it.”

“Ah.”

They stared into each other’s eyes.

“Do you?” he asked.

She shook her head. “No.”

He half-smiled. How very simple yet complicated. He understood. “All the paint fumes really got to your head, huh?”

She looked up at him and he realized with a start that she, too, was half-smiling.

He reached out, smoothing her hair.

“You have a pretty face, Yoongi,” she teased, eyes sparkling.

He raised an eyebrow.

“I thought it would be too cliché, you and me,” she continued and the tone was different now, softer and more serious. “I thought you would get tired.”

She meant, of me.

He had thought this was cliché too. Cliché didn’t mean worthless though. His hand fell, and rested over hers without a second thought. Warm and against the sheets. “If I felt that way, I would have stopped speaking to you long ago. You could take care of yourself too.” Not safely, but could. “Except for money.”

She smirked.

“So you’re saying I need a suga daddy.”

Yoongi twitched.

“Part of me wanted to sell the condo as soon as possible,” she went on, casually glossing over the comment. “But the realtor said it would be a bad idea. I wouldn’t have any buyers without a minimum of six months or a year. Too many superstitions. Part of me thought I should…”

She looked up to the ceiling.

It was a high-rise, after all.

“All the reasons to move here were his. More convenient, better opportunities, owning rather than renting for the investment… I believed in it, more than myself.”

He didn’t say anything. Couldn’t because all those things had benefitted him already. He didn’t only agree to move in help her out. He was still a working music producer. But she didn’t seem to be saying it to condone him.

“I didn’t really think this place was mine until I painted the walls.”

Yoongi thought he should at least confess this part. “That’s why I told you to paint them.”

A small laugh. “You don’t like it, huh?”

“Don’t you remember the walls of the old studio were dark gray? That was my doing. I always resented the last place I rented because they didn’t let me paint the walls.”

“Ah… He painted over the gray.”

“I bet he did.”

They had fallen to the bed now, side by side.

“I didn’t think this would work out,” she breathed.

“I thought it might,” he hummed.

“Why?”

“You’re hot and clever and I wanted you from the first day I saw you.”

A warm chuckle. “Just like that?”

“Well, you had to give me a chance. Couldn’t make the first move due to the circumstances.”

“It was a convoluted and confusing one.”

“Eh, life’s unfair.”

-

“Your husband already paid.”

Your what?

“What?”

The cashier waved you away. You shuffled back, dazed, seeing Min Yoongi emerge from the bathroom in the corner of the restaurant, tucking a bit of his long black hair behind his ears and finding you in front of him.

“The cashier just called you my husband,” you declared.

He shrugged.

“Surprise.”

You blinked at him.

Patrons chatted and laughed as if this was a normal day. The music was horrendous covers of cheesy 2000’s pop. It was very strange, but the pho was good and well-priced, which was why Yoongi and you came here often after his meetings with music companies. Popular talent was in high demand.

He ticked his head to your outfit. “I know you like this dress I bought you, but you’ve left your coat at the table.”

“Oh, shit.”

“You’ve been scatterbrained ever since you started writing again.”

“Shut up.”

--

masterpost

[honeygrahambitch]

Summary: Will is jealous.

"So, I can come by when I'm done with work. If Jack doesn't get any new ideas, that should be around 6 p.m." Will said as he parked his car at the FBI academy.

"Make it a 6:30?" Hannibal replied from the other end of the phone. "My masseur is here until then."

"If your back is stiff just say so, maybe I could do something about it."

"As much as I trust your strong Louisiana hands, I'd rather have someone with actual medical knowledge crack my bones, darling."

"Are you saying I'm too rough?"

"I'm just saying, not complaining. I'm looking forward to seeing you later. Don't have dinner at work, I'm cooking for you."

"Yes, sir." Will said and hanged up. Having a cute little woman come over to give him a massage was so stupid. Very in character for Hannibal but stupid to Will. However, the thought didn't give Will a break the whole day.

**

"Beverly." Will finally spoke after overthinking the dialogue for fourteen times in his mind. "Your time to shine has come. I need relationship advice."

Beverly's eyes lit up like two gemstones. "Finally."

"It's not actually advice that I need. I suppose it's some kind of reassurance."

"I'm all ears."

"Today I learnt Hannibal is getting weekly massages."

"That's honestly not surprising."

"I suppose but don't these things get kind of touchy?"

"You're jealous."

"No."

"The day I see you acting jealous has come."

"I'll leave now."

"No, no, no." Beverly jumped in front of him. "Keep going."

"Hannibal is obsessed with me. A young woman in a short skirt and magic hands can't change that."

"You said it yourself, Hannibal is obsessed with you. You shouldn't be worried."

"I'm not worried about what Hannibal could do. But what if she is into him? Why is a woman touching my partner?"

Jack had entered the room just as Will was saying that so he quickly decided to leave before he would get involved into some drama that would have nothing to do with the case.

"Talk to Hannibal about this. I get your point."

"That would only prove I'm insecure."

"No, that would prove you care and that you are actually serious about what the two of you got going on. Hannibal would appreciate your honesty."

"Whatever. I wasted too much time thinking about it. I might bring it up later during dinner."

"I would bring it up if I were you."

"Do you know how casual he was about it? My masseur leaves at 6:30." Will imitated Hannibal.

"Wait." Beverly said. "Did he say masseur or masseuse?"

"Masseur I think? Why?"

"That's not a cute woman in a skirt. That's a man."

Will stepped back until his back hit the desk. "A man is touching my man? I'm killing him."

"Hannibal or the guy?"

"Yes." Will replied and grabbed his car keys. He looked at his watch. If he left now he could still meet this guy and speak his mind. "How could Hannibal think I would be okay with this?"

"Because he is certainly not into that guy. We are talking about Hannibal, Will. He is devoted."

"Are you two done? We need to discuss-" Jack said as he entered again but Will and Beverly stormed right past him out of the room.

"I am the only man who gets to break his back."

"He will love to hear you saying that. Now, go, I will try to calm Jack down. He will lose his mind when he hears you left."

**

When Will parked his car in front of Hannibal's house, it was close to 6:30. He used the spare house keys he owned and bursted in, ready to catch a scene that would give him all the rights in the world to murder them both.

No such scene was happening. Instead, Hannibal and the man were just heading towards the front door. The masseur was probably about to leave and Hannibal was just guiding him out.

Will's anger reached new levels when his first thought was "they are already done".

"Hello, darling. Let me introduce you to Ben. You should let him take care of your ba-" Hannibal could not finish his sentence as Will stormed towards Ben, grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and lifted him up against the wall with a loud thud.

"You thought you could touch my man and get away with it?"

"Amore..." Hannibal started not lifting a finger. He was in fact entertained by Will's display of force.

"You're hiding behind your stupid job, hoping you can fool people around when all you are is a perverted scumbag. You're a homewrecker."

The man kept trying to defend himself but Will's grip was so tight that he could not formulate any coherent words.

"He was not actually." Hannibal said.

"Did he see you naked?" Will asked, dropping Ben on the floor and turning to Hannibal. The vein on his temple was threatening to burst.

"Yes."

"Did he touch you?"

"Appropriately." Hannibal replied carefully. "Can I make you some jasmine tea?"

"No." Will refused and grabbed Ben again before he could leave. "What would you do if I had a hot man come home to see me naked?"

"I would kill him. Shred his skin off. Butcher him."

"Then you get me." Will said and with a loud "crack", Ben's body stopped moving. Will dropped him on the floor.

"You can breath now. I'm all yours." Hannibal said, a pleased smile on his face.

That's when Will understood. He looked at the body. Then at Hannibal again.

"This was on purpose. You wanted to see how far I would go."

"And I am very satisfied."

"No kidding. Asshole. You manipulated me."

"I did not. I only told you I was getting a massage."

Will inhaled and exhaled loudly.

"Are you angry?" Hannibal asked the same way a kid would ask after doing something that annoyed his parents.

"Yes but mostly relieved. Don't you dare trick me like that again. I was very serious about it."

"That I have observed. It was impressive. I knew you had it in you but I didn't know you would let me see it. Thank you, Will."

"Shut up. I'm hungry." Will said as he passed by him and headed towards the kitchen.

"What about the body? Will? I really had a nice massage, don't make me drag this body into the basement. Give me a hand. Will?"

"Deal with that on your own." Will shouted from the kitchen.

[yourflame]

RULES POST!

reminder: rp rules are rp boundaries. if we're interacting, i'm operating under the assumption you've read this post and understand where i'm at in terms of what and what not i'm willing to do. easy peasy!

some things to know about me, the mun!

*i've been writing in the sonic rpc for a few years now, you might recognize me by the name toby (i'm going by rune now, heads up!) i'm back from my hiatus with a fresh coat of paint and a new way of going about tumblr rp. i will be primarily icon-less since a lot of the time i will not have access to my computer when i'm writing.

*i'm an adhd writer with a full-time job and irl relationships to tend to, so if consistency in a writing buddy is what you're looking for, i can't promise that. if i get super locked into a plot though, you can expect me to be annoyingly invested in it for a while!

*my favorite things to write are: emotions, drama and character development driven plots. i LOVE angst, but also calm, quiet, and contemplative stuff too. shipping is my guilty pleasure, you can probably sell me on most pairings if you think there's a spark between our muses. (just.. nothing involving the littler guys like tails or cream or marine. they're too baby to me.) i also think the juxtaposition between technocolor super animals and boring, mundane slice of life is endearing and enjoyable. i also like to shitpost and write stuff for the bit. to be honest, if there's a cool idea and we're both like "that's a cool idea lets write that" i'll likely be totally down. also i LOVE crossover, it's my bread and butter.

*i don't put up with bullies or assholes! vague posting, pity fishing, guilt tripping, passive aggression, and harassing for responses are all behaviors that i've unfollowed people for because it's dumb and rude and harmed my experience. i don't vibe with callout posts or airing petty drama out on the dashboard for the world to see. don't try to tell me who or what i can't interact with. i have a hunch that most people here on this hellsite community are probably tired, gay ass liberals who just wanna rp funny animals - including myself, and are not bigots. but regardless, if i do see bigoted behavior, that's an easy block. and on that note: the only time i find callouts to be appropriate is if there is a literal predator roaming about or it's for a victim trying to get away from their abuser. (sadly, that happens in rpcs sometimes. keep in mind, there is a difference between actual abusers and people who are just being a dickhead. as i stated earlier, if someone's just flat out rude to me they're catching this block.)

✔️ duplicate friendly. i love duplicate interactions, they're so stupid and charming. ✔️ crossover welcome. at this point if i don't know the character or series - so long as there's an about page somewhere on your blog for your character or you give me a quick crash course on them, i can make my own fun with it. ✔️ shipping fiend. as i stated earlier i love to ship. if we have a ship, it takes place in it's own timeline and doesn't intersect with others unless plotted otherwise. ✔️ AU enjoyer. i love to brainstorm AU ideas and rp them out. you'll find a lot of that here. ✔️ mutuals only. if i'm following you, and you're following me - then i'd love to write with you some time!

❌ no smut. tried it, decided it wasn't for me. i'm down to discuss headcanons & stuff, though - and if you write it i'll read it. also nsfw jokes are funny. should i mention this blog is 18+ and if you're a minor, get out? ❌ don't auto-kill my muse unless we plotted it. don't take control of my muse or assume their actions. they got minds of their own, man. ❌ don't meta game! your muse shouldn't know something about mine if they don't have an IC reason to know it! ❌ don't... run off with my ideas. look, everyone has had the same thought before on here regarding their muses. i don't mean coincidentally same hat. basically, if you see me suggest a plot idea i wanna do that you didn't think of - and proceed to use that idea yourself/with the person i suggested it to - it's a huge buzz kill for me, especially if i get left out of the picture. it's not gonna bug me if we're not interacting, but if we're mutuals... c'mon man. common curtesy.

and that's it. gold star if you like this post to show me you read it. thank you, and i look forward to interacting!

[magical-bigbang-noona]

More toxic 💩 driving me crazy how stans will turn a blind eye to anything their idols do.

WTF is wrong with Kim Heechul? I mean, he's another one who I felt was problematic but again, even I shrugged some of it off. Now he's giving a not really much of an apology for his latest drunk screw up on a friend's video blog.

Yeah, he was drunk. That's not an excuse. The stuff he said against feminists and one certain group of women was ignorant and offensive, though not surprising from a privileged Korean male. Korea is not exactly the capitol of feminist tolerance. Still not an excuse.

He gave the standard "if what I said bothered you" &" I'm sorry you felt that way" victim blaming, non apology which is classic passive aggressive no responsibility taken, sorry not sorry, the problem is with you not me crap.

I stupidly looked at the comments and almost unanimously are the female stans saying he was just "telling it like it is" and has nothing to be sorry for. Wow. How these girls can just throw their own gender under the bus for a crush I will never comprehend and hope I never do.

Same with Kris Wu. Yes, sentencing in China is harsh, but you know, maybe he shouldn't have been RAPING GIRLS while he was a celebrity there. But we got girls crying over his prison sentence and how long it is and blah blah blah.

And once again, I'm pissed because while I wasn't into his music I did like his work as an actor. Yet again, warning niggles for years like I had with S* but yeah, I ignored them too. And that is on me. I'm not claiming I'm completely immune,I need to learn to not ignore red flags, but when I'm faced with proof that a celebrity I had a crush on or admired committed crimes against another human or willingly broke laws with full knowledge of what they were doing and are not really sorry for it other than getting caught then yea, I usually feel horrible and betrayed and then write them out of my life. Not slam the blinders down and go, nah, I like him so he couldn't have done that, end of story.

Take Deng Lun aka Allen Deng, another C-drama celeb I loved. Watched a bunch of his serials. Then he gets indicted in the Chinese crackdown of celebrity tax evasion. Like, in the millions of dollars, somewhere in the neighborhood of 16 million USD. He knew what he did, he deliberately hid his income, he said he did it because "everyone was doing it" (sound familiar?). To be honest a lot were and yes, it was quietly ignored for years til citizens made such a big protest about the differences in treatment that the authorities decided to make a show of coming down on celeb tax dodgers.

He was wildly popular and then literally lost all of his jobs and lucrative endorsements overnight. And fans were crying and metaphorically rending their shirts, saying they are with him and he didn't deserve to lose his status and poor him, we need to let him know he didn't do anything wrong, and meanwhile I'm just upset that someone I liked so much was involved in that.

Just because someone is a celebrity it doesn't mean they couldn't possibly commit crime. Or if they did they had to be a completely clueless, innocent babe in the woods and it's not their fault.

Take TOP. He was and is my bias. Do I think Korea's laws on certain prescription drugs and marijuana is unnecessarily strict? Yes. Doesn't matter.

Do I think he had reasons he turned to marijuana use? Yes. But he still knew how stringent the laws were, he used it, and got caught. And yeah, he lied too at first. Am I happy about that? No. But the situation was what it was.

Regardless of his mental state, and personally, if you think mental health care is bad in the States it's pretty much non existent in comparison in Korea, he was aware of the laws and as a citizen he has to adhere to the law, even if I, a fan in the States, thinks it's stupid and too harsh.

He screwed up. He was liable, he paid his penalty with lenience that yes, considering his life long mental health conditions is justifiable,and the fact that he was so sorry and upset he took an overdose and almost died was also a factor, he admitted his guilt, he was truly sorry for everything, he got the help he needed, and carried out the rest of his duties as quietly as the press would let him.

I never thought of him as a saint who did no wrong. That he deserved none of his penance and was a lily white angel just because I like the man a lot.

I mean, this is simplifying it all, and don't get me started on the almost repeat of the same situation with B.I. of iKon and how I thought and still think YG is a swirling cesspool that harbored a lot of shady crap and when the pins were down they threw their own artists under the bus to protect themselves. They made for a bad environment IMO and yes, I even hold the Co. and YG himself as a terrible influence on S* and feel it all had more than a hand in that whole mess. But in the end, S was a 30 yr old man, not a child, and he knew damn well what he was doing and what the people he was associating himself with were like.

As the saying goes, you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas. So the continuous infantilising of him and saying how he never could have possibly even put a toe out of line knowingly just because you can't deal with your crush not being a blameless ethereal being is just infuriating to me and always will be.

[monzamash]

one thing that i think is really causing a lot of trouble is that journalists are just lumping everything that's happening (horner allegations, jos verstappen/red bull conflict, max to merc, FIA corruption, all of it) into one question and asking drivers like "oh, what's your take on everything that's going on?". like... there is a lot going on

and i don't think it's wrong of drivers to not want to get too involved in the FIA's dealings and other teams' inner dynamics. like for them, all that is just probably "noise" and "distractions" and has nothing to do with them

BUT the problem is that the harassment allegations are being lumped in with those things that are (in my opinion) way less serious. and then when drivers call everything going on "noise" and "distractions", it makes the allegations seem like they don't matter. the journalists are asking stupidly vague questions, and the drivers are responding in stupid ways. because they really should all be separating the allegations from all the other shit going on

however, i do just think people should keep in mind that when drivers are saying these stupid things, they aren't (except in a few cases) being asked about the allegations against horner directly. they're just talking about everything going on generally. that still doesn't mean that they aren't fucking idiots for not realizing that they shouldn't be conflating everything into one answer. like seriously, how hard is it to keep all the drama and rumors that you're allowed to not care about separate from the very serious allegations that do actually affect your entire sport and aren't just "private matters"? 🙄

*cracks knuckles* (also full disclosure it’s morning here in aus so i’m not caught up on any recent updates so lmk if there are any x

this the biggest story in f1 right now and I refuse to believe that anyone in the paddock is naive to that. the jos stuff and max going to merc story all links back to the original reporting of sh so at the very least, those stories are front of mind. the example that stands out in my mind is both daniel, perez and nico because they were definitely talking about the red bull situation and decided to dismiss it (and go as far as to defend the person). the others maybe could brush it off as generalisation but then i just think that they’re burying their heads in the sand about it. i also think some drivers would talk about it passionately bts but don’t want to catch heat publicly (don’t love it but i hope for some this has created some discourse in their personal lives to warrant a conversation - same goes for the average person too) but who knows.

and this might be an unpopular opinion but i agree at least in part with what Valterri said about the media eating this up because it’s fodder for clicks. it’s been grossly misrepresented in all aspects of the sport from the drivers to the pr teams to the journalists… so i don’t expect there to be some almighty savour to come out and restore our faith in the sport but I know for damn sure that there is a long way to go and a lot of work to be done if we want women and other communities to feel welcome in sport generally - not just formula one.

expect cricket australia because the captain of the national team sent an unsolicited dick pic to one of his coworkers and was sacked into non existence and it was beautiful. they’ve obviously fucked up with other things but for the sake of my argument, we will leave it there lol

[dream-critical]

Ok your response to the Quackity comparison was very interesting and I agree, except from:

I'm sorry if this makes me look like a dick but I did read the thread and idk if I believe someone claiming to have been doxxed six seperate times in the same day and then still came back to twitter like nothing happened. If it is real then sure, I hope that person is safe and doing well. But dream stans have made up serious things just to get the heat off of dreams back so I'm skeptical.

The thread was very in depth, so if it were fabricated, it is very was thought-out and intentional. Unless this particular user has a history of false claims (which I haven't checked), I don't think it is fair to dismiss the claim on the basis that they are a dream stan. Doxxing and irl harassment has been an issue in many online spaces where fandoms are clashing, and this isn't an exception. I think it ties in with the other ask, is it fair to label all dream stans as manipulative and morally corrupt? No, some have just fallen victim to Dream intentionally cultivating a parasocial fanbase.

I'm not sure Q was aware of what cellbit had done. And while I'm very very uncomfortable with cellbit, if everyone involved with the situation has said they don't want to talk about it, he has gone through therapy and claim he has changed. Then idk man. As outsiders we don't get to decide shit. Idk this one is complicated and I don't know what to tell you.

I feel more strongly about this point. The situation with Cellbit is entirely fucked and Quackity absolutely deserves criticism for allowing him on the SMP. Immediately after the videos of his ex resurfaced, Cellbit’s current gf (not the ex) posted a thread bashing her and insisting he’s changed and that everyone’s stupid for bringing it up again. It is not at all her place to say that. Abusers don't abuse everyone they meet; most have good friends who they genuinely treat well. It is irrelevant if he never hurt the current gf. He abused his ex into developing an ED and gave her trauma that took her years to recover from. Even if both the ex and Cellbit want to move on, it is not appropriate for someone like this to have a platform like the QSMP. He can be criticised without involving the ex.

I think it is very easy to get caught up in the drama between the SMPs and the "copying allegations", but that is ultimately unserious in comparison to: a fan getting doxxed and harassed irl and the abuse Cellbit's ex suffered. Do you still hold the same opinion? What should Quackity do about Cellbit? And, in a hypothetical scenario where you can be 100% certain the dream stan is telling the truth in their thread, would you say there is any action Dream or Quackity need to take?

The differences between Quackity and Dream you point out for the other comparisons makes sense to me though, so thank you for explaining.

Ok yeah no I personally do agree 100% with your opinion on the cellbit situation and I should've worded my reply better but I kind of am unsure how to address it myself as I've seen a lot of people saying it shouldn't be mentioned anymore for the sake of the victim. But you're right the situation can be talked about without specifically involving his ex, so I'm sorry for the horrible wording.

I am very uncomfortable with the inclusion of cellbit in the qsmp and I think that while people can change, the cellbit situation was so public that I do not think he really should be part of the qsmp. It is still giving someone with a history of abuse a bigger platform than he currently has. I also agree that his current girlfriends statement doesn't mean much. Abusers only mistreat those who they can mistreat and get away with, aka people that depend on them, people who are vurnerable, people who have no safety net etc.

I think the argument that cellbit is kind or sweet or has changed or whatever doesn't mean shit as abusers do that in order to manipulate others and isolate their victim. I do think that people can change, they should just do it far away from vurnerable people and their victims. I wish Q or literally anyone on the qsmp team would talk about it bc it makes a lot of people uncomfortable and also is very very questionable but idk if we are going to get any type of response at all. Which honestly is very frustrating.

The doxxing thing, I don't believe it but if it's true hope they're ok.

While I don't think a content creator should have to scold their fanbase every time something happens, they should still have a serious talk, and explicitly show and say they won't tolerate it when it's something big happens or if the actions were very harmful. Especially when its something that has genuine real life consequences. This counts for every content creator imo and isn't just a dream or quackity thing. So yeah I do think that it should be addressed.

And i hope that the person who got doxxed is ok

[authoratlas]

Flares

A short original work with some OCs. Whumpy fic about a pain flare. Partly because I've seen exactly one fic with a character who had costochondritis and I feel underrepresented.

First-person POV

Cw: pain, pain thoughts, mentions of past physical assault.

(Author's note: sorry to others who have costochondritis that don't like whump. Also, mentioned in the fic is "like the breaks that didn't heal quite right". This is a reference to character's backstory, but costochondritis affects the intercostal cartilage and is not supposed to directly involve bone.)

It hurt to move.

Sure, it usually did, but not quite so bad.

I knew the flare was coming; I'd gotten pretty good at spotting the triggers.

Stress was a big one. It was Spring Break of Senior Year. Graduation was coming up and then I'd start college. I didn't feel ready and neither did any of my friends.

Physical activity often played a role, and I had definitely done a lot of that by walking everywhere with the group. In my defense, it had been fun at the time.

Sleep was another factor; the more sleep I got, the less shitty I usually felt, but the nightmares had started up again. It wouldn't surprise me if the sleep-thrashing and fighting added to my pain as well.

Finally, of course, it's worth mentioning that Matt's Spring Break Parting Gift was a pretty solid punch to the chest. That's probably actually what did it.

Either way, I had known the flare was coming, but knowing was unhelpful; at best, I could take some Aleve and hope that it wouldn't last long. It was still morning, after all.

By noon, the Aleve either hadn't kicked in, or it had, but to little effect. I was still in bed, having taken my meds with one of the granola bars I keep in my room for days like that. I'd hoped getting up would be easy enough, since the group would be coming over tonight, but most movements were instant demotivators; even something like rolling onto my side, something that simple, scored about a 6.5, which was high enough to make me want to stay still and not move ever, ever again. The problem was that when I heard my phone chime, I completely forgot about that little detail, and rolled over to grab my phone. The thought of My People outweighed the threat of pain.

Pain that felt like fire, like the breaks that didn't heal quite right. I curled up, hoping it would make the pain stop. The movement only seemed to aggravate it. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to level out my breathing. Before long, the pain would fade, and it would suck less.

It took about a minute for me to be right; sure enough, the burn returned back to the dull ache that I knew would stick around for a while. I took the opportunity to grab my phone and read the message.

Nico: Shea, are you alright? You haven't said anything in the group chat yet today, and I know you're usually up by now.

Nico. I made Nico worry.

Shea: Yeah, I'm up, just distracted.

Nico: What's up? Is it because of yesterday?

Shea: You could say that. It's not entirely the case, but yeah.

Remember earlier, when I mentioned Matt's "Spring Break Parting Gift"? Well, that was yesterday. Matt is this guy from school that hates my guts over drama from 8th grade, of all things. The funny thing is that the thing he hates me for didn't even affect him, but rather a friend of his. He's just the one that hits the hardest.

Nico: What's going on, Shea? I mean, you trust me enough to fill me in, right?

Shea: Of course I do, but I don't want you to go do something stupid.

Nico: Of course not, silly, why would I do something stupid? I'm not going to walk over to Matt's house, which is just down the street anyway, and kick his ass on your behalf or anything.

Nico: Why would I do that?

Nico: Fuck him and his stupid-ass friends.

Nico: I'm going to kill him with my bare hands.

Shea: Nico, stop it. Matt has never been worth it. He didn't cause the flare anyway, I'm pretty sure.

Nico: You're in the middle of a flare right now?

In theory, of course, I shouldn't have said that. But I wasn't thinking when I sent the reply, and who knows what would come of that?

Shea: I am, but it's not from that

It was a lie, but it was one that could keep Nico out of trouble. In theory.

Nico: How do you know?

Nico: How could you possibly know that for sure?

Nico: Because as far as I recall, you weren't flaring yesterday, and he punched you, and today you're flaring. Sounds to me like he fucking caused it.

Shea: I just don't want you to do something stupid because of it. He's an idiot and he's not worth it. And you going over there and starting shit isn't going to make the rest of the school year easier for me.

Nico: He's not about to just fuck with my boyfriend and get away with it, and I'm tired of him thinking it's okay.

Shea: Okay, you're not friends with him anymore, so here's how that's gonna go:

Shea: Option 1 is you go over there and fight him and he kicks your ass.

Shea: Option 2 is you go over there and fight him and you kick his ass, and then next week, when school starts again, he beats me half to death in a broom closet and leaves me there.

Shea: So tell me again how worth it this is?

There was a knock at the front door; it couldn't have been Mom, because she, of course, had a key. Slowly, cautiously, I got up and walked to the living room and looked through the window next to the front door.

"Come on, dude, let me in."

I opened the door, closing and locking it again behind Nico. "Why...?"

"I had to do something, and you didn't want me at Matt's house, so..."

I sat on the couch, motioning for him to do the same. "Okay, fair I guess."

"Can I ask you a question?" He'd rushed it out almost immediately after I finished talking.

"Uh... Yeah? Anytime?"

"Did that actually happen to you?"

I frowned. "What?"

"The broom closet thing. Did that actually happen to you?"

A flash of memory came through, of falling backward onto a pile of brooms, breathless and bleeding. Of being sure no one would find me until I got myself up and out of there. "Not exactly?"

"It was too specific to be completely made up."

"It wasn't. It just wasn't Matt."

Nico made eye contact for a moment before having a staring contest with the living room rug. "Can you explain?"

It wasn't an order or a request so much as a genuine question, which was something I loved about him. He understood how hard some memories can be.

I nodded. "Yeah. Uh, it was back in 10th grade, and Matt and Ross were out of town."

"So it couldn't have been any of the main 3. Jesse was already expelled by that point."

"It was Patrick and Seth. They swore they needed to do something to 'keep me in line', whatever that means. I'd woken up to a pain flare, too, so I had stabs of pain from my left shoulderblade to about here," I said, gesturing to a part of my back. "It was, uh, the broom closet I got ice-bucketed with, too. Insult to injury, y'know? Patrick locked Seth and me inside and I had pretty much given up by then. How can you run when you're literally locked in there with the dude that wants to beat your ass?"

"Fucking cowa--..." He stopped himself halfway through the word, and it took me a moment to process why.

"No, I agree, they were cowards about it. You can say it, it's fine. I went non-speaking for part of the day after that. Almost had my mom take me to the hospital. Then she decided we were going anyway. It was... a lot of bruising and inflammation. Nothing else. But... I wouldn't put it past Matt to talk to them and do the same thing. And I also don't trust Matt not to, um..."

Not to actually kill me.

"Yeah, I know. I get why you want to leave it alone. But it's hard for me to just accept it. We both know I haven't been going through this with you nearly as long as Jamie or Oliver have."

"We graduate in about two months. Then I don't have to deal with them. And neither do you."

Nico didn't have to deal with the worst parts of them. Not the same way I did. But he had to deal with the aftermath, now, and he had to see me hurt because of them. If I was honest, I'd stopped caring about the pain around the same time my body decided to work against me, but it hurt to see my friends worry. It hurt to feel like my existence made theirs heavier. I knew the trauma would weigh on me long after I was out of school, but I had a good therapist and a great support system. Eventually, I could heal.

All I needed was to make it two more months.

[faunastanza]

Shizukan's Test pt. 2

(part 1)

Prob says a memory was removed. She wonders why common would be connected to a CUT gesture. If you remember way back when, Mr. 5 had a knife that he could use to remove people from the story so, parallels.

The scene goes back to Beleth and the others at the convention. Shizukan looks irritated.

>Criticism is being presented. Accept / Deny?

Beleth starts talking as the prompt is accepted. They sarcastically say that dr. curse was totally asking for it except she wasn't, so Shizukan shouldn't have done that. Shizukan sulks about this, and Beleth says that dr. curse tricked her because she's stupid and still isn't considering Jupet. I'm done with Jupet tbh. I never cared for them in the first place and they felt inescapable back in the day. Their return is not one I'm enjoying.

Beleth commiserates with Shizukan, saying that they understand wanting to beat dr. curse up, but they didn't do it. Shizukan throws some threads around, and Beleth yells at her for acting on Beleth's feeling and blaming Beleth for it.

can someone push my eye back in

Beleth says that it wasn't just Jupet Shizukan wasn't considering again but someone else (not Beleth). They then ask if Shizukan thinks violence is funny and a joke, which is directly from Glip themselves as seen in Circlet of the Sun. Beleth's always been a mouthpiece of Glip's though. Beleth goes on to say that Shizukan got upset that Myandery thought she'd hurt Dead Air, but then she still does this? That's what this comic needs, high school drama and gossip.

"After you choke someone again?", Beleth says, and asks if Shizukan remembers. dr. curse abruptly gets up and says that if Shizukan thinks violence is okay, then control Stolas and make him kill himself right now or die. Again, this is about Sila in reality.

>dr. curse is probing "Beleth"; please list found KEYs in 5 turns or less, and no earlier than 3 hours from the time this message was posted. >Asynchronous.

We cut to that guy with the manhole hands, the Principal whose the most powerful angel ever ever, talking to someone named Gregoria, which creeps Prob out. Principal asks what the shortest route is to Hellside or to Althar. We then cut again to Mel the beecat and some weird spindly thing called Tempo.

i'm your fairy what-mother

This thing has some vague Andre-ish elements but honestly I'm not sure what it is or where it came from. Tempo says a problem is being deconstructed, saying that if you do not move perfectly, someone will die. Prob looks back at her terminal for prompts.

>dr. curse proposes HORTH 14TH to Shizukan. >Shizukan agrees. >Shizukan has until the end of HORTH 14th to work out a solution to the following: -Jupet dies. -Shizukan switches from KEY-20 to KEY-17. -an Entity is thrust from "Beleth". -"I HOPE HE DIES" -[Unknown] >dr. curse is counting the time. >Please state a gift to Shizukan and why in 5 turns or less.

Prob expresses disbelief that "the first race" takes place in only a single day. She wonders how Shizukan will tie this all together into one solution. She says this is when the timer started. She looks for the gift for Shizukan and finds that it involves the Prism.

The scene shifts AGAIN and we get a weird looking Shizukan saying she's going exploring and wondering "Do I exist without you?" with 1-7 near her. She thinks about wishes, it says, and she remembers the stars.

big star related? who knows

We get another prompt window.

>Shizukan is selecting participants. >Define participants in five turns or less. >Shizukan has traced the Chordincepts thread back to the first event. >Each event has been accounted for.

Prob expresses doubt at this. We get a shot of dr. curse looking up at Shizukan, Beleth, and one of those croissant headed Sample robots.

you came to the wrong neighborhood

Notably it's Beleth with the flower in their eye from Broken Toy. Prob speculates that the wishes are remembering Andre, then gets very excited. She taps on her terminal and a voice comes from down the hallway.

We then cut to the Art Pyramid outside the painting class where some pointy thing is sticking out the ceiling. Dude's name is String-Along and has a whole bunch of cables and strings over the ceiling. Endless parade of new pointless characters. String-Along says they got a packet of data that's very small but clearly indicates that something is wrong. They ask why someone is probing this and why they want to CUT.

String-Along looks into several potential outputs, gets annoyed, and pings several pieces of an angel on the Art Pyramid. The first one refuses to connect and gives back a map and a picture of Mel, who's marking out the path of bees. Someone pushes Mel to the ground, prompting them to wonder "why me? why now?"

>Shizukan is attempting to validate Mel's memory. Accept / Deny?

String-Along still seems confused and irritated by all this. The prompt is accepted and String-Along gets a whole bunch of ideas over the connection.

We get into black and white scribble territory as Mel recounts this encounter with Razca I think, although it's hard to make out with the scribbles.

we're playing twister

She says she's not scared of her, but is scared of what she's feeling and starts dissociating, as everyone does. She then says she lied and that she wasn't scared of her, but that doesn't mean she wasn't scared of herself. Razca says she likes Mel to her disbelief and she's freaked out by how this turns her on. She wants to have sex with her but freaks out about it and refuses to accept the thought. Razca says she wants her in her and Mel asks "in her heart?" like that Star Wars meme.

Mel does it but feels conflicted and is scared this might hurt their relationship or she'll disappoint her. She struggles with her feelings and says she feels disgusting, and she doesn't know why Razca wants to be with her subsequently. Razca says that this is often a couple activity in Zweitruity- Zwei. A couple activity in Zwei, like dating. Mel apologizes saying she didn't realize this.

Razca, awkwardly, says that sharing your thoughts and feelings is very intimate and she thought it'd be nice to do. Mel says something hurts but she doesn't know what, then says that sharing, touching, and liking things all hurt. Mel says she doesn't feel like she was meant to share things, just watch others, and that she doesn't know how to be this. Razca squeezes her and Mel says she's okay with Razca and not with herself, and being with her like this makes her very aware of herself.

all these scribbles here

So this means Razca "coiled" with both Mel and Stolas? Razca really gets around. Mel continues having her self-loathing crisis about how awful she is and how much all this hurts because she can't trust herself. She agonizes over her feelings some more and then we cut abruptly to Shizukan and Myandery. Did Razca and Mel RP out this whole weird sex scene in the discord? Awkward.

Shizukan and Myandery are watching something on a compact, and Myandery asks her if she likes it. Myandery pulls out a sheet of words and points at "like". Myandery thanks her and says that it's feeling emotional and liked her letter too, and that it felt like art to it.

Shizukan gives Myandery her word sheet. Myandery is touched by the gesture. Myandery says it got Shizukan a gift of some red ribbons since it reminds it of a dream it had about Shizukan and that the ribbons conduct spirit magic. Also because the ribbons would help Shizukan not be detectable as an angel.

you will be so kawaii

Shizukan, touched and teary, takes the ribbons. Myandery asks if she ever had gifts before, and she points to "for" and "see". Myandery guesses that means she only had presents to look at, but she shakes her head, and Myandery says it'll get more sheets for her. Myandery says its overjoyed in her company in a very similarly detached way as Deca did a while back, which makes me wonder if its another Pengo character. Myandery asks how she's feeling, and she points at happy.

We cut to Storgo (wherever that is) in Undertown where Shizukan is sitting with a needle and a tied up dr. curse in the background. The prompt window comes up again.

>Describe dr. curses's moves in 5 turns or less.

Shizukan looks over at dr. curse.

>What are the consequences of stabbing dr. curse? Describe in one turn only.

Shizukan goes over to her and holds the needle over her while dr. curse doesn't move. She doesn't seem to have any injuries though.

>Shizukan remembers the feeling of stabbing dr. curse. >There is a connection to Archibishop Razca in this memory.

Razca again! We get a shot of dr. curse saying a redacted paragraph with "There is a communication issue..." in the prompt box. We then get a shot of Jupet either tied up or under a blanket, it's hard to tell. "They pretend to be asleep, but it stops nothing" the narration says.

that better not be a double x

This is based off an incident in Glip's childhood with their dad, although from their account of it it did stop him. I don't think detail is necessary here. Sylvan doing something bad to Jupet has been alluded to before in suspicious terms, but it was never really confirmed to be sexual abuse. It still isn't but the implication/parallels here to sexual abuse is very clear.

Shizukan picks up dr. curse who just sort of dangles from their hand. They then put dr. curse under their... skirt? I'm not sure how to describe it, while redacted text leaves "Shizukan imitates living?"

There's then a shot of black and white Shizukan looking confused while dr. curse just lies there all dead-like.

are we back to vore again

We get a shot of Shizu, the original one, talking to Xenon, that sibling of Neon's with the giant headlamp. She says that if Sylvan ever did to Jupet what he did to her, then she'd kill him herself. Xenon asks how serious she is, saying that he's on a list of names to be exiled from Dewclaw, and that if she gets involved in trouble again, they'll start banning her in places. This is also based on a conversation Glip had with their mom about their dad. Again, I don't think any more detail is necessary here.

haven't seen shizu in a while

Shizu angrily says that if Xenon isn't going to help, then she should pretend that Shizu just said nothing. Some kind of creature looks aghast at this. I don't know who they are.

?????

We get a shot of Shizu saying a bunch of redacted paragraphs, great, and she finishes with "okay?". Xenon asks if that's a threat, and if she's threatening her. Shizu said it didn't sound like a threat to her, it sounded like a question. We cut to what might be the Principal and who might be Gaap saying "when is play allowed?". We then get a whole bunch off the prompt window.

>dr. curse has obtained removed KEY-20 moves. >Processing. >dr. curse is searching for removal options. >dr. curse is attempting a removal of Stolas. >dr. curse is attempting a removal of Andrealphus. >dr. curse has failed to remove Stolas. >dr. curse is searching for removal options. >dr. curse has found a point of entry. >dr. curse is currently observing points of connection between Shizukan and Myandery. >dr. curse is searching for removal options. >dr. curse is attempting to disconnect Shizukan and Myandery. >dr. curse is attempting to disconnect Shizukan and Myandery from TALwire. >dr. curse is connecting to River.

We get a shot of River with an infodump. If this is River talking then they sound a lot more sedate than they have before.

river flung himself in front of your monitor

TALwire apparently talked about how KEY-20 can truncate information when they think it won't be noticed. River says that this is what [] does and so do lots of other people who hurt him, and that's what he's playing against in his game, and he felt it here, with you, where [] gave lots of information on []'s feelings and reasoning and you zoomed in "to the paint" having caused an issue. Gaap apparently viewed [] as an issue without explaining why to River and others or considering their feelings. He feels like something bad and harmful is going to happen if you truncate here.

We get a shot of adult Stolas and River walking. Stolas asks what River wants to do, and he says that he wants to go see Mesund in the cells and ask it not to kill Roda, whoever that is. Stolas asks if River doesn't want Roda killed, and River's response is redacted. Stolas asks why River feels like he has to do anything at all, and River's response is redacted. Stolas asks what River is imparting if they're acting out of a sense of obligation, and if that's what care is. River's response is, again, redacted.

Stolas asks if River thinks that if he doesn't talk to the angel now, something bad will happen later. River's answer takes up half the screen but it's all redacted. What's the point!

charlie brown teacher noises

River goes down to talk to Mesund who looks like some kind of weird monster now. Didn't Mesund turn into Phesund in the Art Pyramid...? What is going on? Anyway, River asks if Mesund has the intent to kill, which puzzles Mesund.

just a big jumble of parts

We go back to the prompt window again.

>dr. curse has failed to disconnect Shizukan and Myandery. >dr. curse is swapping Shizukan's KEY-20 for KEY-38. >dr. curse is attempting to remove Shizukan's KEY-24. >dr. curse is attempting to disconnect Shizukan and Shizu. >dr. curse cuts Myandery and Shizukan's connection.

We get a shot of Shizukan's head sort of melting while Beleth looks confused and horrified.

is that euphobia's head again We then get a whole bunch more text as dr. curse continues trying to hack the mainframe. I'm just going to post it as an image.

i'm in

It's mostly a bunch of impenetrable jargon again. Shizukan refuses to connect, then tries to connect to Stolas to store data in him (presumably). dr. curse's cut has erased Myandery from Shizukan's memory (referring to them as "node subgraphs") and now Shizukan can't use Myandery to traverse connections. Apparently there is a KEY-38 infection in Shizukan and Myandery's connection.

Looking closer at it, the infection is a composite and allowed Shizukan to travel to Myandery via the VOID in Stolas... I think. VOID used to traverse in Stolas gets converted to CLEAR structures. dr. curse looks into the nature [] and gets nothing. Shizukan's new mouth head vomits black stuff on the floor. Can't go a VN without vomiting! She seems to have Andre's wand.

>dr. curse observes the following about ENTITY SHIZUKAN attempting to connect to ENTITY STOLAS: -Connection is routed through KEY-38. -Connection is limited to information that carries a high probability (greater than the estimate of 90%) of degrading upon observing. >dr. curse observes the following about the nature of traversing connections that are not recognized: CODE 322 and CODE 413 received.

We go back to Storgo Undertown where Shizukan is holding what appears to be dr. curse's dead body.

>Shizukan has found a backdoor through the Bibliotechnician. >KEY-13 is validated. >Shizukan has obtained a move from Arcus.

That weird looking kiwiface from the World Egg comes back, saying that in the Clearing Tree, their word is the only word that matters.

what IS kiwiface

An eye on a stalk comes down that looks a bit like MALwire, saying that they wanted to let a desire of yours influence the world, but if you aren't ready for it that's okay. There's a real throwback as we get a mention of MALwire again, saying they've connected to Rule 7 of the Mask of the World: If something happens to me, something happens to you.

The shot of Shizukan holding dr. curse gets weird and turns into the version with the head mouth that was vomiting a bit ago.

>Shizukan is applying KEY-38 to dr. curse. >Shizukan is swapping KEY-20 for KEY-38 in dr. curse.

All this key swapping, a real key party am I right? Anyway, weird headface Shizukan says mine as she presses dr. curse into herself, starting to absorb her. We get a sudden cut to Stolas and River and shockingly, River seems to have his hat off.

probably the inevitable conclusion

River says he wishes he could get away from Stolas without getting hurt for it, saying Stolas would put him in his halo or lock him in the dungeon like with Shizukan and Mesund, respectively. Stolas says he wouldn't do that and he'd just put River back in his hand. Stolas here appears to be a full dragon adult like when he was with TALwire, so things aren't really going well for anyone here.

We get another shot of Shizukan eating dr. curse which definitely seems fetishistic. Goop and eating show up a lot in this comic and the scenes go on for a suspiciously long time.

those pigtails, weren't those on the skin shizukan shed before when she lost her collar?

Shizukan keeps on eating dr. curse and getting fat for a while before Beleth eventually screams at wtf are you doing at her. How long were they just sitting there watching before saying something? Shizukan gurgles something, being occupied with vore. Beleth says that Shizukan has no idea how that'll affect her, and says they wish Shizukan cared about anyone or anything at all while she looks ashamed. It's kind of funny on her weird goop form.

me sowwy

Back to String-Along, it says the connection is cut. "Just when it was getting good and just when I almost got it!" they say. I hear you buddy. String-Along starts looking around through the Art Pyramid, finds TAL and runs her coordinates through a KEY. It succeeds and manages to trace a path into TALwire and Stolas, and starts to retrieve the Chordincepts data from TALwire. That's the key! it crows.

We then get a whole ton of unattributed text of people (Chordincepts) talking. They're mostly gossiping about angels and how they're not trustworthy and should all be killed, worrying about spies, and speculating about whether or not Razca is a sympathizer or even an angel herself. As String-Along listens it says it gets maps of their soul signatures and KEYs.

After a while, it comes across another vulnerability of TALwire's. Before we can find out what we get more gossip. They point out the weird popped out eye of Beleth's speculating if that means they fell or got parasitized or something. There's more gossip about the angel menace and who's consorting with angels and such, with one person saying that they were selling angels on the black market.

it's a very opinionated infection

String-Along says it's there too, "organizing key concepts", and that this is all a lot to route. The voices continue gossiping, worrying about Stolas being corrupted and how he needs to get out of there and Arcus spies. The conversation turns to Teslic Yard, with someone saying it's filled with Arcus plants, sending out fake news that Dewclaw is better. Another says they've been suspicious about Teslic Yard for a while, saying that Rooibos had broadcasted about it months ago before communications went down. The broadcast was apparently about how Teslic Yard housed an angel that killed a kid. After giving the broadcast, Rooibos disappeared.

Talk continues about how angels must die, and then someone says it's a conspiracy by Arcusian spies to spread misinformation, and the real culprit behind all of this is the Witches Guild. Witches seem to get a lot more sympathy than angels as people are skeptical. Someone says they saw Razca with a Teslic Yard vehicle in Flower, which was mentioned by Myandery earlier, which makes people even more skeptical of her loyalties. Someone says she's nothing like her father. Talk continues about how evil and sneaky angels are. Some of them wonder if this is the end of the world.

Mention is made of Baphomet's attempts to destroy the source of angels to no avail. Someone tries to change the subject by mentioning a book about a foxbat they liked, although they say the series falls off later on. This is surely a reference to something but I'll be damned if I know what. Paranoia and anxiety ramp up, with someone saying the run a support group for people scared of angels in Althar and invites them to join. Then CONNECTION CUT.

String-Along says it finally pinches the Chordincepts and strangles the signal. ENOUGH OF THAT and it gets to work on its test. THE END. Good luck figuring out what any of that was about.

[laffy-taffy-creations]

"Well you've certainly impressed me…" Supervillain whispered from where they hid.

They watched as Hero assessed the damages and dragged the villain to the car. They called Sidekick to follow with an annoyed tone so they could leave.

Supervillain got out of their hiding spot and left too. No business staying around a crime scene where they'd probably get caught.

Switching to Civilian for the time being, they went to a nearby café. This was an interesting opportunity, but they needed to think everything over before they flubbed it. Too many parts, it was easy to screw up and never get the chance again.

They showed up later on a patrol, one of the few things Sidekick was trusted with. Plan in mind, they easily disarmed and carried the teen somewhere a little more private so they could chat.

"Yo-you're…" Sidekick stuttered.

"Supervillain," they finished for them. "I'm Supervillain. And I thought we could have a talk about Hero."

The other tensed. "I'm not going to give you any information. Or do anything for you. Or… whatever it is that you want."

Supervillain chuckled. "I already know you won't tell me anything. You're not allowed to learn anything that would be useful to me, right? No, I wanted to talk about being my protég�� instead."

They looked baffled. "I- me? You- you want me?" They backed up a little. "No, no this is some trick, you don't want me to be your student I-I-I can't even-"

"Can't what?" Supervillain challenged. "Cant listen? Learn? Can't fight? Oh, I know you can do that."

"I- I'm not able to take anybody down on my own, so-"

"Yes you can. I saw it the other day." They said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Like someone telling their friend about some sort of drama between people you've never even met.

"You… you did?" they asked incredulously.

"Mhm." They added on, "your speed was brilliant, most people would never be able to run that fast, and how long you were fighting? You have great endurance. Oh, the way you thought to dive under their arm to get a hit in on their back? That was brilliant!"

They went on and on as Sidekick just stared, listening quietly. Patiently.

Waiting for the comments on what they did wrong, how they needed to improve on most of their techniques, how most heroes don't fight like that and sidekicks definitely shouldn't be getting involved the way they did.

"But then–" Sidekick waited to hear what they'd done wrong in the villain's eyes "–Hero got on the scene and told you off."

Wait, what?

"You said you were trying to impress them and they called you stupid, so I thought I'd give you the offer of training under my guidance instead."

They waited for a moment.

"Well?" Supervillain asked.

All Sidekick did was stare. "Uhm… well, I wouldn't be able to… I'd get kicked out of the agency and that's really like my home…"

"I can set up a room for you at my house."

"But-"

"Any accomodations you need, I'm willing to take care of."

"...I still have to go to school, and the agency is the only-"

"I will literally adopt you if I have to. No child should be talked down to like that. Now do we have a deal, or should I leave and we both agree to forget about this?"

Sidekick began to cry. They'd never had someone be so adamant about taking care of them before. It felt… good they guessed, even from a supervillain.

Especially the one currently hugging them. Rubbing their back, no hints of being angry at the sudden show of emotion. Gods did it feel nice. And comforting.

They took some deep breaths.

"I… I think I'd like that."

Short Prompt #1229

“I-I… I just wanted to impress you…” Sidekick muttered as they fiddled with the end of their torn cape.

The hero rubbed at their temple with a sigh. “Well… I’m certainly impressed by how goddamn stupid you can be.”

The sidekick didn’t respond, instead looking at the ground and fighting back their tears. Their mentor walked off to deal with the beat-up villain the young hero trainee had managed to capture.

With a sniffle, Sidekick waited on the sidelines dejectedly. They were unaware of the curious supervillain watching them from the shadows.

[eclecticsoftgrungeaestheticzine]

In 2017 my Ex lied to the police our families and our children to take full custody of my son out of fear that I intended to do the same to her, a fear provoked by her husband's insistence that was what I would try to do something he decided without knowing anything about me or ever speaking to me about anything.

Because of the lies that they told I was restrained from speaking to her seeing my child for the next 3 years.

In 2020 I saw a picture somewhere online that looks like him that originated from Tumblr so I screenshot it we blocked it and asked if anybody knew who it was because it looked a lot like my son.

And as soon as I did the entire community within Tumblr at least in so far as anybody who followed or wanted to be followed

Used that inquiry as the opportunity to attack

Sending me DMs saying they killed him and buried him in the desert or that he was on the streets and a gay prostitute, or an hiding after being attacked by some random unknown individuals

And what I'm shocked about isn't necessarily the mentally and emotionally dysfunctional adults and I use the term loosely imagining that telling apparently killed their child is somehow in the realm of pranks or retaliation for some perceived insult ,

But really anyone and everyone else in any way ridiculous lives of the people with big mouths but apparently no balls who could in realizing or understanding what happened could dismiss or ignore the impropriate

You really shouldn't have to know or care about someone

To recognize the right thing to do .

I can have literally redirected all my assets towards the most creative or vicious civil lawyer I can find and almost assuredly had the most offensive of the perpetrators held responsible for the entirety of it and incarcerated for a period of 10 years in a federal penitentiary.

The fact that I don't feel comfortable being responsible for taking 10 years of somebody's life it shouldn't be confused with my willingness to smash their face into a freak show mess of blood and bruises, and I really don't need any other reason beyond the stupid shit that they have said since I realized that they were involved why does it matter they're grievances don't matter the accusations don't matter all that does is proximity

I'm not in any Rush I'll get to you and when I do I'm going to fuck you up straight out and I don't give a goddamn what you say ,

It's funny I told the stripper based on the things she was saying when I he must have put you up to this and for whatever reason whether sincerity or just seeing the opportunity to deflect responsibility she agreed he had

Now the suggestion is that I was just easily manipulated or gullible and I'm talking shit to an old friend who really hadn't done anything

But that has no possibility of being true

Because when I contacted this old friend and told him that I had been robbed and threatened by a sex worker who blamed him he for some reason thought he was in a position to provoke

You can decide why you're getting hit at the time if it helps

Asking someone to rob an abuse me or thinking that you can talk shit about it either way you're getting fucked up

I asked if anybody recognized that he's in the picture because I hadn't been able to speak to my son in 3 years

It's been 3 years since then and every message I've received about anything has been to explain some situation of which I never inquired imagining that who and where and what the people I left behind are doing would be some kind of source of jealousy or frustration which just further illustrates what a petty jackass mentally disturbed child this guy actually is

At one point when I suggested to her that she had somehow been connected to some random person from my past she found it funny and a bit delusional when there was nothing to connect them

I wonder what she would think now 3 years after suggesting it

3 years that he has spent day and night doing nothing other than trying to think of ridiculous Scooby-Doo drama scenarios to suggest to me

I will see what happened is your son is a transvestite gay prostitute going through a sex change who was attacked and he's in hiding and I'm the only one comfortable talking to so if you want to get a message to him I can do that if you suck my dick

I mean I don't know if I'm supposed to laugh or cry when a grown man sees that as the best use of his time pathetic

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

One take I have seen most to protect JC from his actions was the "he had to think about his reputation! WWX didn't care, so it is aal his fault!"

Now, the context we have is a hypocritical and aristocrtic like society, and people are confusing MDZS for those "villainess isekai" mangas/manhwas/manhuas, where the MC has somehow has to fit and fight through the political drama with poise and wit (whenever is actually smart or just stupid plot armor MC). Unfortunately, MDZS is not that kind of media. WWX didn't seem interested in fitting nor wanting to involve himself into that world, he is the "stupid commoner borne" who failed because failed to fit, because he had the worst reputation one could fear to have, and yet he "dared" to defy those norms and act how he believed (and was) right to do, but somehow had to fit into the court drama. Dunno if this rant is making any sense BUT STILL-

But people didn't get the point: WWX is not the hero of a rom-com court drama where he has to fake or do whatever complicated scheme, he was straightforward on his actions (reason why I love him so much as a main character), why do people think he was stupid for simply not complying? Wasn't being rebellious against standards and high society something to be praised once? Then why insult him, call him arrogant and too full of himself when he effectively does that? Because they see through him that being the black sheep is not that "cool" or whatever? I dunno.

Hope this rant of mine made sense, I kinda got nervous while typing, so I hope what I said makes sense ^^''

Awww don't be nervous anon! My inbox is there for anyone who needs to rant and vent away at times! I know it can be hard to put such things out there with your name on it and having at least somewhere to have is immensely helpful.

What is interesting is that we do get this line in regards to why Jiang Cheng did as he did without exactly... thinking of what this can do to Wei Wuxian:

These past few years, Jiang Cheng consistently had been working through the day until late dark. That day, just as he decided to rest early, he had to rush to Jinlintai without stop through the night, due to the shocking incident. He'd already been quelling his anger for some time. Yet due to his natural pride, he was even more incensed having to apologize to others. When he heard Nie Mingjue mention the hardship his sect faced before, hatred sprouted within him. That hate was not just for everyone within the room, but also Wei Wuxian.

Jiang Cheng does as he always has, says things he shouldn't and inaction that hurts someone without caring about the consequences that can't be fixed. He is only thinking of the burden that makes him upset and chooses to punish Wei Wuxian, by not really sticking up all that much in his defense and Jin Guangyao and Jin Guangshan manipulate that very easily unfortunately.

As Jiang Fengmian tried to warn him, "A-Cheng, there are some things that can’t be said even if you're dissatisfied... when you say them even now, it means that you still don’t understand the motto of the Jiang Sect, that you still don’t…”

That you still don't realize the blessings that you have towards people that do care and love you, that they don't find it troublesome to want to keep you protected and happy. Do the same for them as well without masking it with cruelty.

[hantenguclonesimp-minuszoha]

Kimetsu no Yaiba; My worst fandom experience.

Alright, to start off, this can also be considered a warning to those who are interested in Kimetsu no Yaiba/Demon Slayer. I mean, you could count it as one but I don't know, it all depends on your point of view.

Let me start off by saying it's bad. Up until I really got involved with KnY, I had never in my life been involved with any Internet drama whatsoever. My experience with the KnY fandom is genuinely – without a shred of a doubt – the worst fandom experience ever. Now, let me get straight to it.

Let me add right now that I am no angel myself. I said and did some things I shouldn't have done, some which are completely on me and which I will take full responsibility for. I acknowledge that some of my actions/words were immature and uncalled for and could've been avoided if I had just minded my business – for that, I apologise. I might be accused of wanting "revive drama" and that's fine. I am not perfect. I make mistakes like any other person and by no means am I even considering myself to be better or more innocent as if I wasn't involved in some things. I'm not reviving drama, I'm telling everyone my personal experience on Tumblr in the KnY fandom that didn't even last a year. That's how bad it is. This little piece will be disregarded, trust me, I've been here for a good while to know that some people can't read

I will be addressing everything that involved only me and the current situation.

Drama 1

My first and second drama were all within the KnY fandom, the first being involved with art of the sub-fandom Hantengu. For those who are/were close with me, they know that I am the BIGGEST Hantengu fan and anything to do with him immediately attracted my attention. Anyways, the drama happened when I had (re)posted the art of a well-known Hantengu artist on Tumblr without credit.

Now, you might be thinking "but that's deserved!!" no, no. I had asked people to find the artist for me so I could credit them properly. Shortly after, I was DMed by someone I am no longer associated with but is also somewhat well-known in the sub-fandom. They had given me the artist's name and while had I still planned to credit the artist, at the time I was busy and couldn't spare too much time for it at the moment. I didn't think much of it as I was also eating at the time. No problem, right? Wrong. I come back to open Tumblr and my inbox is filled with one or two fans of the artist telling me to credit them.

The first inbox was just someone telling me to "credit the artist", Nothing more or less. I, of course, agreed and gave them proper credit as someone who reposts art should. Done, right? Wrong again. My inbox was then FILLED with rude/respectful fans telling me to take it down with some even calling me an art stealer because I didn't take it down. Let me tell you right now that the first time I was not told ANYTHING about said artist not wanting their "NSFW" art without watermark to be reposted anywhere. All I was told the first time was to credit the artist. THAT'S. ALL.

I once again, quickly took action and had DMed someone who had reposted the post, politely asking them to take it down which they thankfully swiftly did without argument. Unfortunately, that too wasn't enough. I admit that I didn't take the post down which was stupid from me, as I then stupidly argued with the trolls but keep in mind it's my first internet drama, I didn't quite know how to handle it. Anywho, they continued to harass me and dragged OTHER CREATORS into my business, expecting them to beat me to death or something. It got bad to the point where I was blatantly getting harassed, getting called racist slurs even after I took it down and I vividly remember someone saying something about white people their asses being white unlike black people because they can see their shit and black people can't...

What???

I genuinely stared at my phone with genuine surprise 'cause what does that have to do with anything... Anyways, I had found this harassment to have gone TOO far as people were telling me to kms and whatnot to which I took it to the artist who had addressed the situation. Unfortunately, like the low-life trolls they are, they continued harassing me. Either way, I ended up getting full permission of the artist for me to repost their art with credit! :D

Now, onto the second drama which is arguably much worse than the first one.

Drama 2 ft. Overwork/hearts4muzan

Now, this happened in a server of mine which was filled with some active members of the fandom who are also well-known because of how active they were. This started because I said a slur which I didn't know was a slur. Let me add that I am not right in this situation but neither are they for the way they had handled the situation. First and foremost, I could have worded some things far better than I did and could have simply left it at that but people began saying things and I responded on my emotions which I should not have done.

Anyways, things got intense and while I tried to explain myself that I'm not from a certain country where almost all slurs are originated from (at least from what I've seen), they then proceeded to compare their lives to mine, saying that "I'm from (here) and I know not to say that" as if we live the same life. No, darling, just because you know doesn't mean the other does or is supposed to. Plain fucking simple, but nooooo. I'm telling you all right now that to this day I am still extremely bothered by what happened and how they had handled it, among them being literal ADULTS who compared their lives to mine as if they expected me to know just because they did.

Original message

I thought the r slur was the vulgar variant of stupid/dumb the same way "asshole" is the vulgar variant of a jerk/mean person. I heard heard the r slur from movies and commentary YouTubers.

A friend even told me that the r slur in general is used as a way to describe stupid thing like shows, objects, or topics because according to them, "Bro honestly the r slur now is more used to say something is stupid than it is to degrade someone".

Anywho, it got pretty messy as certain people then began twisting the context saying that I called someone a slur when I didn't call anybody in the server or even referred to anyone and instead was referring to twitter as you saw. Among them was miss Overwork who told me to go f myself after having gracefully left the server.

Isn't that right, Overwork/hearts4muzan? You didn't read my apology or anything at all, refused to acknowledge anything and simply called me ableist and left. You also continued to drag out the drama days after everything was slowly dying down, when everyone just tried to continue with their lives. You were trying so hard to get everyone to turn against me, and I'm damn well sure you were trying to get me harassed too. Isn't that right, miss Overwork? Yet you had the audacity to call me childish/immature when you were the one dragging out unnecessary things for no reason whatsoever. You're the adult in this situation, I'm a minor. Look who waited for things to die down and look who continuously screamed like an siren days after. And, by the way, you're the ONLY person who screamed like an siren while everybody kept their MOUTHS SHUT because they knew it was nobody's business. You had absolutely NO reason to put all of that out there but obviously, a drama starter like you wouldn't understand the concept of keeping your mouth shut.

You then decide to HARASS my good friend @lumitylovepill who is also a MINOR for something she wasn't even involved in and had asked NOT to be involved him. You're absolutely sick in the head for this type of shit behaviour. You complain about me saying a slur, yet there you were, calling my friend the f slur, insulting her for her identity, and making racist remarks about my race.

Moving on from that, I was also accused of being a troll by multiple people whose names will not be mentioned. I won't blame them for anything since they didn't know any better, however, I will add that pointing fingers and saying things without proof is not only wrong but can also cause some serious problems and can even lead to the person getting harassed. You can have your suspicions but that's as far as it can go. However, I also would not be surprised if it were Overwork who spread such lies about me.

Next point ↓

This is another point. Like, wow! No shit, Sherlock! You figure that one out yourself, chief? They continued to treat me like I was a 12 yo kid (borderline bullying) getting reprimanded for bullying or stealing rather than a normal teen who was trying to understand the wrongness of it all even if the execution itself of said teen was piss-poor.

(some of) The crowd then went along, telling everyone who walked in that I had called someone a slur and blah blah blah. I then issued a somewhat proper apology which I soon deleted because I wanted to settle some things in private with a certain user (you know who you are). Anywho, certain user had used my mistake as an excuse to act all douchey towards me, making jabs at my age, saying that I was "immature" and that it was "no wonder everyone avoided you". While I admit that the way I handled it was beyond immature, my mistake is not your excuse to act like an asshole, especially when trying to correct someone on something they shouldn't have said/done.

Again, I say that the way I handled the situation was far beyond immature but the way those involved handled it and ganged up on me was not right either. If anything, it was immature and honestly very pathetic. How the hell are you going to compare yourself to someone else as if you live the same life? Either way, it ultimately ended with all involved/who witnessed it leaving the server because yeah, the vibe was ruined. But, with a final note of my dear Dagon that's what we'll call him (you know who you are) – a person who had said once or twice to "educate" myself as if that's supposed to do anything – they simply told me to "do better man" with some "word of advice".

Now, my dear Dagon, let me firstly say that I did not know their OC was a minor and I also did not know that it was on their Tumblr because I kind of don't stalk pfps. If they didn't want any remarks towards their underage oc, they should've specified the vital information from the start unless I missed that which I honestly can't help. And don't bring up the "Well, maybe don't say that" because at this point, I'm going to assume that you've never seen the comment section of an artist. Just need to add that before you start spewing some other holier-than-thou bull again. (That's honestly the impression this dude gave off and I'm not even exaggerating this)

You're little remark about my highschool graduation was not only stupid but completely irrelevant to the topic at hand. Three people who I talk to who also witnessed the ordeal/read it agreed with the fact that this dude acts all high and mighty. (It takes serious effort to emanate asshole vibes through the screen, I'll give you that)

My honourable "dramas" summarised by Dagon

Now, for the first accusation yes, I did call them sensitive which I admit, could have been worded better but I also vividly remember adding that it would hypocritical of me since I don't like it all too much either. I was trying to convey that I agreed with them and that I was only half/mostly joking, which could have been worded better, my mistake. However, you and many others made it seem as if I was insulting the artist's art when I had complimented an encouraged them multiple times before. You and everyone else seem to conveniently miss that fact also. Still, I admit that I should have stopped when I was asked to and for that, I apologise to the artist.

But, don't worry. I'll do better, man.

Next up, you practically excusing the childish behaviour of miss Overwork. You seemed to have missed the fact that she blatantly ignored the apology most of you all so desperately begged for which was so gracefully ignored/disregarded as the specific some continued with the twisted context and accusing me of having called someone a slur. Miss Overwork then proceeded to call me ableist even though I have never once in my life used that term to refer to any disabled person in an offensive manner. She then also began acting stingy towards other members as she had said more than twice that she wouldn't read the apology and my excuses for having said the slur (which, again, was not meant to offend).

The apology everyone so desperately begged for was blatantly ignored/disregarded as the excuse that it was "too long" was used to describe it. I will say that in that brief scenario, I am right because those involved decided to make such a big deal out of it and when presented with a proper apology containing every bit of detail for my mistake, it was ignored.

As for Makio, I will take no excuse unless she either had an important situation going on, my mistake on that. But her excuse was that she went to sleep while I wanted to settle things privately when she clearly had all the time to argue with me nearly the entire night but when I start to try and settle things privately she just closes dms. Not too pretty is it? Especially after having compared me to a literal doxxer who openly expressed their violent views towards certain groups of people. Keep in mind that said doxxer has their supporters who can and will go as far as to try and dox anyone who tries to oppose them. Yet you have the nerve to call me stuck up and act like I committed the worst crime against humanity. Funny.

As for my friend, they quite LITERALLY said only TWO THINGS. All I asked of them was to deescalate the situation so I could explain myself. I did not want them involved in this anymore than they themselves did.

And finally, your word of advice that you and everyone else seemed to bring up as a way to almost shame me. Whether or not you wanted to associate yourself with me at the time, I merely wanted my work acknowledged. I did not quite care for personal interaction unless I was comfortable enough to approach you. I, like everyone else, merely wanted to be acknowledged which you seem to take so personally. Tsk tsk. I wanted to express myself which you seem to shame me for (that's what it looks like ngl) by having constantly brought up the fact that I was a minor, using that as an excuse for my "immature behaviour" as if I hadn't acknowledged my mistake after.

Word advice, Dagon (and everyone else who had made that stupid comparison); comparing your life to someone else's as if you're the same person, expecting them to know the same things you do, is not it. It doesn't quite work that way. And if you don't like what I create, the block button is right there, nice and convenient.

That being said, thank you to those who understood my side of the story, acknowledging the fact that I genuinely did not mean to offend or having really blamed me for my emotional reaction. Thank you for having understood my emotions at the time during that intense moment.

The way things were handled was immature for the so-called "adults" who seemed to know better. They used the fact that I'm a minor and practically infantilised me for something I simply did not know. Need I remind you that not everyone has a life on the internet and that maybe they have their own lives, in different countries that have different cultures?

Let me say this right now, ignorant as it might sound, some of you need to hear this.

Being able to get offended is a damn privilege. Here, nobody gives a flying fuck about your itty bitty widdle feelings because some word has an offensive meaning. We're too busy trying to survive to care about that bullshit, too busy to bother learning about some word, it's offensive meaning and to teach our kids. You're too privileged and self-centered that you forgot that differences are thing. Everybody tries so hard to be the same and look where that leads to.

When I said that slur, I did not mean to offend in any way. Yet there you were making excuses "why did your parents let you watch those types of shows?" MAYBE IT'S TO KEEP A VERY YOUNG ME OCCUPIED AS THEY WERE BUSY DEALING WITH THINGS AS MY PARENTS AND AS ADULTS. Why was it so hard for all of you to understand that not everyone will know everything. I'd add on to this piece but it's useless now. I just hope that everyone who made those stupid remarks understands for next time in case someone says something offensive.

____

Moving back to miss Overwork, it is clear that this isn't the first time they have attempted something as grand as this. I'll say it right now: Well played, Overwork. You succeeded in dividing the fandom even more than it already is, lured the creators into my server, got minors and people who weren't even involved harassed, and managed to get everyone to turn on me. Well done. I truly hope that you are proud of what you're doing at this very moment. Making artists and writers quit, harassing people, and stalking people for the sake of what I assume is your amusement.

Tell me, what the hell is so hard about being a decent human being with common sense? People come here and create a safespace for themselves to escape from the real world. Others come here to make friends and share their love for a certain interest. People come together to have fun and to find an outlet to all the stresses of their real life. Why in all nine fucking hells does that bother you so much? Are you so miserable that others need to feel miserable also for you to feel satisfied? Is scaring people and making them fear for their own safety funny to you? Some sort of knee-slapping joke? Honestly, fuck you. That's all I have to tell you. Fuck you for all the hell you've caused in our community and the fear you have instilled into people who came here to have fun.

I don't give a flying fuck about how this comes off but every fibre of my damn being hopes that you get a taste of your medicine soon. I hope you get harassed, people call you names, and more. Feel what others felt.

____

That was all for everything that involved me.

This fandom is extremely divided, far more than any I have ever seen and been part of. There are LITERAL ADULTS acting like CHILDREN – like bro, I've seen adults either 19, nearing the age of 20 or are over the age of 20 act less mature than me. Keep in mind that all of this is coming from a former Undertale fan, an infamous fandom known for it's extreme toxicity. Then again, the fandom had calmed/died down by a lot by the time I joined so I don't know. The worst I've seen from the Undertale fandom is having bullied our lovely Jael Peñaloza into almost cancelling the beloved Underverse. Maybe it's also that these are different genres of content but even so, I have never seen such disgraceful behaviour from even the other anime fandoms or I'm just not on the internet enough.

Mind you, I got into anime in the late year of 2020/21 with the anime having been JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. The worst I saw was some minor shipwars, problematic HCs/HC disagreements, and problematic art. Everyone was too busy making memes about the world being a JoJo reference or simply JoJo posing. Again, the fandom must've died down so I don't know

All in all, the KnY fandom is a disgrace to the anime itself, an embarrassment of a fandom with so many more flaws – the main ones being ships and hating on OCs – that I can barely name any good I have ever witnessed live in the fandom aside from others correcting some misinformation that was being spread by some fans. Genuinely though, I cannot name a single bit of good that I have ever witnessed in the KnY fandom except for drama in every damn corner I joined after the sub and dub of the Entertainment District are aired. I am deeply disappointed in the fandom of such a good and beautiful anime. The disunity of us all is beyond disgraceful as is the disgustingly toxic behaviour of those parts of the fandom also. Of course, not all are that way, but the majority I've seen want nothing but problems. It's no wonder anime has such a bad reputation.

I am well aware that each fandom has its own flaws and that maybe the KnY fandom isn't even the worst you might have seen, but again, this is personal experience on Tumblr. Mind you, even outside of Tumblr, before I became an active member, it is nothing but toxicity to a disgusting degree. Before I came to Tumblr, my expectations for this app were near non-existent due to its former reputation and I was proven right by the fact that my piss-poor expectations for this practically hellhole of an app were met and even exceeded in terms of how negatively I thought of it.

People here are more sensitive than snowflakes, more ignorant than a misbehaving toddler who refuses to listen to its mother, and more toxic than alcohol. Make a mistake and this place becomes Twitter's lesser half where people suddenly gain some sort of saviour complex and think they're more morally correct than others, be it a mistake or accident.

This is my warning to you should you join the KnY fandom on Tumblr:

You wish to join the KnY fandom? Proceed with extreme caution (especially if you decide to become an active member) because this fandom is a radioactive cesspool of nothing but violence and toxicity, disunity and endless drama. The show is good but the fandom itself is God-awful and I must express my deep disappointment of it all. No fandom I have ever been part of was this bad and I'm not surprised that's why I was so reluctant to get into anime as a whole. This entire thing is like an abusive relationship.

Truly a disappointment to the anime.

That will be all regarding this account once more. This was merely a show as to what truly happened to those who were wondering and I take full responsibility of my actions. I will not be returning to create content on this account whatsoever and it will likely get deleted by the end of the year as I rebuild my reputation on a new one. To all of you who gave me a positive experience, thank you. Words cannot describe how much joy you all have brought me and the fun I had here. Unfortunately, the pure amount of negativity in this place is much too difficult to deal with

With that being said, cya, fellers.

Tell whoever you want but don't forget you blatantly ignored my apology and began acting childish and immature while I acknowledged my mistake and issued an apology.

@hearts4muzan

[prinxejeanne]

[[God of Night drabble, God of Night x Reader (I'm really shameless when it comes to this mf, huh). Takes place at a meeting of the gods (reader is the God of Voyeur, like they were in the stream, so I'm calling you mfs "Voyeur" instead of writing Y/N all the time)- Night asks reader to dance, even though they supposedly don't get along with eachother.]]

[[Warnings: Suggestive content (nothing outright NSFW, but some spicy flirting will be involved), wine drinking, enemies to lovers IMPLIED, and dancing written by someone who doesn't know how the fuck to dance.]]

You were sitting at the mini bar, the sound of the music grating on your ear drums as you sipped the tasteless wine from a chalice and closed your eyes.

Being the God of Voyeur was a tough task, especially considering the fact that you never had a moment to rest. Sure, you had brief moments of silence when there wasn't drama going on between your fellow immortals, but they were gods. When was there not drama going on in the Heavens?

"Ah, Voyeur! I see you're sulking by yourself, like always."

You couldn't help but roll your eyes as you turned around to greet the God of Night.

This man was the source of most of the drama. Him and his damn wife, the God of Day.

Why wouldn't they just divorce already?

"Night! I see you're still as insufferable as always," you retorted, moving to take a sip of the wine in your cup.

Before you could, though, the insufferable man took your chalice and poured the remaining contents into the soil of a potted plant nearby.

"Sorry, I didn't think it was a good idea for you to be drunk this late at night. Could be dangerous, don't you think?" he asked, his voice as smooth as butter.

The dumb, arrogant smirk playing at his lips made you want to punch him.

"What do you want, O' Great and Terrible Night?" you snapped, already done with his bullshit.

"Calm down with the sarcasm, Voyeur, I was going to ask you to dance with me! Unless you don't want to, of course."

Your eyebrows rose at this.

"You dog! Shouldn't you be dancing with your wife?" you respond nearly instantly, feigning shock at his offer.

He held out his hand to you, and smiled. "Sun won't mind. I'm sure she'll find a lesser god to dance with anyway," he said, the resentment for her barely hidden by his othwise confident demeanor.

Hesitantly, you took his hand and rose from your seat, allowing him to lead you to the dance floor.

As a new song began playing, a slow tango, you couldn't help but let out a soft gasp as Night pulled your body close to his, one hand on your waist and the other holding your hand with a surprising softness. You used your free hand to gently hold onto the junction between his neck and his shoulder, and for moment, you could've sworn that his composure dropped for a millisecond, but his calm expression told you that couldn't be true.

It must've been your imagination.

"Night, you should at least buy me dinner first!" you teased, although you were sure he'd noticed how flustered you were.

"I'm sorry, Voyeur, but is that flush on your face from the wine?" he asked mockingly as you two began to dance. "Maybe you should sit down, if you've really had that much to drink!"

You rolled your eyes as that arrogant smirk on his face widened, but you couldn't help but be impressed by how easily you two were moving to the beat.

Unfortunately you couldn't tease the cocky idiot for his poor dancing skills, because he didn't have any poor dancing skills to mock.

"Shut your stupid mouth," you muttered, causing a chuckle from the man you were dancing with.

A well-timed trill in the music caused him to pull you closer until your bodies were flush against each other, and his grip on your waist tightened.

As much as you hated to admit it, your heart was racing and your blood was pumping in all the right ways.

"Well well, Night. You really are a good dancer," you purred, your fingers trailing along the back of his neck as you moved to the music.

The man shivered and his fingertips dug into your skin slightly at this action, and you felt a tug at your heart as his eyes fixated on the wall behind you.

Was he getting flustered?

A new song began, and you started to pull away before Night held onto your hips and pulled you even closer to him than you were before.

He still wasn't looking at you in the eyes, but he moved his hands back up to your waist once he noticed the confusion in your eyes.

"...one more dance," he whispered, his voice barely audible behind the noisy atmosphere of the ballroom.

A smirk plays at your lips, and you return to the same dancing position that you were in before.

"Of course, Night," you reply, the flirtatious tone in your voice giving the god the confidence to look you in the eyes again.

He stared at you for a moment, his lips parted as you began dancing again. He leaned closer, until-

"Night. Aren't you going to dance with your wife?"

You jump slightly, startled by the intrusion, and you turn to see the God of Sun standing there.

Night's wife.

She looked... unimpressed, if anything. Not offended, not heartbroken, just inconvenienced.

"Of course, darling," Night replied, letting go of you and stepping away. "It was lovely, Voyeur."

You make eye contact with him, but keep your mouth shut. Sun was a higher god, anyway, causing a problem with her would be catastrophic.

"I'll talk to you later," you replied, giving Night a sly wink before walking away with confidence.

Dancing with a married man wasn't a good idea, after all, and you knew that.

Still... you also knew that the feeling of his grip on your waist would find it's way into your dreams for months after this.

Damn him.

[absolutebl]

what's your opinion on homophobic actors ? for example the love by chance cast and their scandal with earth? there might be other homophobic ones idk about but I was just using that as a example I still want you're overall thoughts! would you still watch their stuff? or follow them? or another example actors admiting they used bl as a way for clout some people think thats okay and its justified would you agree?

BL Actor Homophobia 

Oh boy. I don't really follow actor drama. Or I try not to. And I kinda don’t want do this, but I guess I should do a sort of official statement thingy. Since this fun silly side blog of mine has sort of gotten bloated and out of my control. 

Like the giant peach. 

ALT

In general, I think it's difficult to understand any celebrity's actual feelings on anything. 

 Sometimes it may not be safe for them to express their true opinion, because of image, brand, business, studio, agency, management, or family concerns or constraints. They may be more supportive or less supportive than we will ever know. Anything that approaches bullying is going to be even more complex because there are so many elements, perspectives, and entities involved. (Although I will always side with the victim.) 

With regards to interview, vlog, or variety show missteps and misspeaks, a lot of BL actors are BABIES, like so young. Tell me you didn't make a stupid fucking idiot statement when you were in your late teens and early 20s. Well, you CAN tell me you didn't, but I won't believe you. I certainly did. I was a pretty lousy human for a while. Queer af but still lousy. 

And a bunch of queers from other countries jumping in and attacking is surely going to change baby boy’s tiny mind... right? Yeah, no. No, it’s not. Multiple studies have shown that attacking someone only drives them into a corner and hardens their sentiments. 

Honestly? I don't think it's ever a good idea to make a hero out of an actor... they are, after all, ACTORS. I mean, come on, you must have meet some of the breed? 

Make a hero of the BL character he portrayed, certainly! But not the actor for goodness sake. He’s only an actor, after all. 

Celebrity turns people... odd. Or maybe it's just that the type of personality that seeks celebrity is innately suspicious? At least to this curmudgeonly introvert. (The fact that I all too often end up dating the fuckers is my terrible judgement and wicked bad taste.)

Where was I?

In most of these cases netizens take everything out of context, or at the very least hugely exaggerate. People pick camps. Yes there are certainly bad apples, but I think about this with kpop a lot, sometimes it's all shades of grey and no celebrity is as evil, or as good, as we want them to be. They're mostly just gloriously shiny narcissistic pricks (affectionate).

Particularly with something like homophobia, the context of identity (or identity erasure or abuse) is very culture specific. With BL we are often talking about places where, until recently, they didn’t even have a word for gay. I don't like to get outraged in general, it's exhausting. But to get outraged about something that some pretty kid said or did, in a language I don't speak, born and raised in a culture I did not grow up in, to a family dynamic I cannot comprehend?

It seems like, considering all the grey areas, I am not really equip to judge.

It's not the same thing, but I'm a long time melody and I often think about what happened to Ilhoon. As an outsider what he went through seems absolutely insane. But I've never lived in South Korea. What the hell do I know? I can only make a judgement call from my safe little nest where (currently) weed is legal and has been for ages. I guess, at the very least being in Kpop should have taught Ilhoon how to be careful enough not to get caught? 

And I guess that's were I do judge.

If the actor is homophobic (by any standards), and acts in BLs, at the very least he shouldn't have gotten his tiny hypocritical arse caught out, now should he? Tut tut on the brand management, fella. Practice a little circumspection. 

Oof. My cynic is showing.

Look, I’m not that bad, I’m just an old tired queer. We’ve been fighting a long time. Can’t I pass the buck (or blunt or cock) along? 

Mostly when one of these stories crosses my radar I just feel sad. And I don't wanna feel that way around BL (or Kpop for that matter), so I try not to even register it's happening. 

Here, you wanna get outraged, get outraged about this: 

ALT

There are major cultural issues in play here, and when this kind of thing happens to an idol on the streets of Seoul, I’d venture to say, there’s society wide systemic problems at the root of of this kind of homophobia, that the homophobe’s are manifesting - like symptoms of a disease. Sure you can treat the pox (with a damp wet white towel, perhaps?), but darlings don’t you think it’s about time we developed a vaccine? (And maybe I think that’s kinda what BL and pop culture can do to culture, if it gets normalized enough.) 

But currently, with these homophobic incidents? We all lose, and we are all to be pitied because of it. 

I love BL because it leads with love, and that’s the best I can practice at this point in my life. Try to talk more about positive BL dramas and less about negative BL actor drama. Try to be a little more loving and a little less outraged. 

That’s it, I don’t have a solution, sorry. Just... perseverance, I guess? su su na and all that.  

(source)