#i know i say 'it's just wrestling' all the time

[silent-hill-2-official]

Hi, you summoned me, the big gorgeous linux fairy, and this is the Jack Joy's Guide to Linux. This is going to be a long read, so be prepared.

Chapter 0: What do we want? The first thing I would recommend is asking what you want from linux. Linux is open source, has 30 years of dedicated nerds working on it, and is driven by giving people choice and control over their computer. You got options, but with that decisions to make. Is it simplicity? Is it Stability? Do we wanna game, or is this basically just a fancy browser machine with some word processors attached? It all depends on knowin what you want, because there is going to be something that will cater to your needs. Chapter 0.5: Making the tough call The second thing to know about linux is that you are going to be giving up some stuff to gain a LOT of control over your computer. Linux has done a wonderful job getting easier about what it offers, but ultimately you are going to run into some jank. You are going to have to be prepared to touch the scary obelisk that is the terminal. And you are going to have to say goodbye to some programs that just don't work on linux. If you use Adobe Products you are SOOL for example. There are replacements, but you will inevitably end up having to learn something new. Personally, I found the task to be refreshing to get myself acquainted with stuff, but that isn't what everyone wants. Hopefully this is not a dealbreaker.

Chapter 1: Go Oynon, I need to collect my tools.

To Install Linux, you are going to need a few things, and before you begin to just follow this guide as you are doing it, read this entire chapter as there are going to be some things that are gonna be important to know before you get into things.

A flash drive (preferably just a big USB stick, messing around with USB to SD card readers got me a fucked install of mint once)

Balena Etcher

Your preferred Flavor of linux

Some knowledge on the bios of your machine

And preferably a secondary boot device in your machine (IE a second SSD)

First grab the ISO file of the OS you want to install on your PC, which maybe you have already had a potential distro of linux in mind. If not, let me recommend some potential good candidates for someone first messing around with linux.

Side Tangent 1.1: Jack Joy's Pixie Picks for easy Linux Distros

Linux Mint is the gold standard for stupid simple linux distro. It just works*, it comes with a DE(desktop Enviroment) that is reminiscent of windows 7 so adjustment should be minimal and overall, is very uncomplicated. Is a bit bland tho. *(things still break sometimes)

Ubuntu meanwhile you probably already heard of. Think of it as the MacOS of Linux. It has the most company support, it's DE called GNOME is very MacOS like in it's design language, incredibly stable, but also very poor in customization. If something says tested on linux, a lot of the time, it means tested on Ubuntu.

EndeavourOS is my linux distribution of choice. It's based off of Arch Linux, which is what powers the Steamdeck with SteamOS, and as such has a lot of nifty Arch linux niceties, like the Arch User Repository, and KDE Plasma as it's DE. It tries to combine being user friendly while letting you tinker with everything, it is on the cutting edge of linux, but that also means that stuff CAN break more often.

With this side tangent over, install balena etcher and flash your ISO on your USB stick.

Reboot your PC, and as it boots enter into your BIOS. Most systems use the F12 function key, but it might also be any of the other F keys because no one can agree on anything in the fucking tech space. From the BIOS your going to want to look into your boot order and if your USB stick is available, pull it up in the order. If it isn't there, your gonna have to wrestle with your BIOS as there might be some secure boot shenanigans going on. BIOS' vary so much that you'll have to look into your system in particular (which could be a good time to learn more about your PC in general).

Once done, exit out of the BIOS and things should hopefully be happening. Depending on the Linux Distro you used this might look more or less scary, but if it looks like it is doing some WEIRD SHIT instead of booting windows, it's going good. At some point you'll enter a "live enviroment" of your OS (a version of the OS that exists entirely from the USB that will be gone once you reboot) and an installer will be on the desktop or have popped up automatically (at least, for all three of the beginner friendly Distro's I recommended. Please don't try to install raw Arch Linux on your first Linux Install.)

Once the installer gets to formatting drives is where we have to do a hard pause, because formatting drives is SCARY and DANGEROUS if you aren't doing it to an extra drive that has nothing in it. In general it is always scary and dangerous. The installer is going to give you a bunch of options on where it wants to be put, and what it is going to do to the drive where it makes itself at home. If you are putting this on an extra SSD, tell it to do what it wants with that extra SSD and bob is your uncle. If you are putting this on the same drive as your windows install, you are going to have to be real careful and tell it to make a partition, give it however much space you can give it, and voila. Or, if you just want to ensure you never go to windows ever again, nuke the entire drive, in which case you might want to invest in another USB drive to keep a clean copy of a non shit windows OS. Think of that USB drive as an "In case of emergency, Break glass" type safety precaution.

The Installer will finish, either asking you to reboot the PC or doing so by itself, and once it is done it will now do the standard linux boot sequence. Congratulations. You have transitioned your PC from widows to whatever flavor of Linux picked your fancy. From here on out, what you do with your PC is up to you and you alone. Fuck around. Look at all the software that came with your linux install, especially the actual software store where you can get even more stuff.

Hope this guide helped.

im sure someone already made a post about it but i came across a ublock origin add-on that blacklists around 950 AI websites and disables AI overview ☝️ so u can be free from seeing AI in your search

[insidekatmind]

Mission- Bucky Barnes

Wearning: +18,smut

Request: yes!

The jet lands with a jolt on the deserted runway of a private island. Outside the window, palm trees sway in the breeze, and a pink sunset paints the horizon. There’s no time to appreciate it, though. You’re here for a mission, and it’s already off to a bad start.

“I can’t believe I have to do this with you,” scoffs Bucky Barnes, throwing you a look of pure disgust.

“The feeling is mutual,old man,” you reply through gritted teeth. Your name, Y/N, is printed on the fake passport you’re holding, but your real task is far more complicated than maintaining a false identity. The mission requires you and Bucky to pose as a happily married couple to infiltrate an exclusive gala hosted by an international arms dealer.

“Wasn’t there literally anyone else available?” he asks, shaking his head.

“We’re not here for sympathy, Barnes. You’re the only one with a shady enough past to avoid suspicion.”

He laughs, but without a shred of humor. “And you’re the only one who speaks enough languages to keep up with a crooked diplomat. Just don’t expect me to pretend I enjoy being here.”

“And don’t expect a hug from me,” you reply with an icy smile.

---

The villa assigned to the two of you is luxurious: white marble, designer furniture, and an ocean view that takes your breath away. Too bad the tension in the room is heavy enough to crush any promise of relaxation.

“There’s only one bed,” you say, pointing to the massive king-sized bed in the middle of the room.

“Perfect,” Bucky replies, dropping his bag on the armchair nearby. “I’ll take the couch.”

“Not a chance. I need proper sleep for tomorrow night’s gala.”

“Don’t worry, princess,” he says with a smirk. “I wouldn’t come near you even by accident.”

You finally decided to share a bed. You were wearing shorts and a tank top as you stared at the ceiling.

Bucky lies next to you, tense and unmoving. Even without looking at him, you can feel the distance between you both, like a chasm that can’t be crossed. Your eyes wander to the ceiling, tracing the pattern of shadows in the dim light. Finally, he breaks the silence.“Do you expect me to believe that you actually need sleep?” he mutters under his breath.

"What?" You ask, turning to him.Bucky doesn't turn to you, but his voice is still laced with sarcasm. "You heard me. I know you're used to pulling all-nighters for missions. You don't exactly act like the type to need a full eight hours to feel refreshed."

You look at him with a twinkle of sarcasm. "Well this time it's different, I'm on a mission with you and I have to put up with you, so I need sleep".

Bucky rolls over onto his side, finally facing you. “Oh, so I’m such a pain that I keep you awake now?” he says with a smirk. “Is this how you treat all the people you’ve ever worked with?”

"not just old men who think they are better than others" you reply looking at him.“Old man?” He repeats, sitting up on the bed. “You’re really calling me an old man? Aren’t you supposed to flatter your partner on these missions? Or is that just reserved for the men you actually like?” he jokes.

You roll your eyes ignoring him.Bucky doesn’t get ignored easily, though. He scoots his way towards you in the bed, his prosthetic arm brushing against your arm. “What, no smartass reply? I can’t believe I’ve finally managed to shut you up,” he teases, his voice low and quiet.

“Keep your hands or I'll turn your other arm into vibranium too,” you threaten.

Bucky holds up his hands in mock surrender. “Easy, sweetheart. I’m just trying to get a reaction out of you.” He scoots even closer, so that you can feel the heat of his body next to you. “And I think I’ve succeeded.”

“Very funny arm wrestling,” you say sarcastically.“You got plenty of jokes, huh?” Bucky replies, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He leans in a little closer, the distance between you almost vanishing. “You know, I can think of a better way to occupy that smart mouth of yours, princess.”

You turn and find yourself a little too close to him. "Oh really?" you say sarcastically.Bucky takes advantage of your proximity, invading your personal space even further. His face is inches from yours now, his breath dancing across your skin. “You’d be surprised,” he murmurs, a hint of danger in his voice. “I’ve got some ideas….”

Bucky’s fingertips graze your jaw, sending a shiver down your spine. “I wonder if you’d be this sarcastic if I took away that smart mouth of yours.”He shifts his weight on the bed, pinning you against the sheets as he leans over you. He’s so close now that you can feel the heat of his breath on your face.

"What the hell are you doing?" You murmur, looking at him above you.Bucky smirks, relishing your surprise. “What does it look like I’m doing?” he asks, his voice a low growl. His head dips down, his lips brushing against your neck. “I’m testing a theory….”

Bucky's hands roam over your body, the metal one surprisingly gentle. “Tell me your theory,” you manage to gasp as his fingers tease the edge of your tank top.Bucky's lips find your ear, his breath hot against your skin. “My theory is that your smart-ass mouth isn’t as tough as you think it is,” he whispers, his teeth grazing your earlobe. “And I bet I could find a more entertaining use for it.”

“Your theory is wrong old men” you say.Bucky laughs at that, his chest rumbling against yours. “Oh, we’ll see about that,” he says, his hand sneaking under the hem of your shirt. “I’ve yet to see you speechless. I bet I could make you speechless. I bet I could make you forget every smartass comment you’ve ever thought and make you begging for more.”

“get your hands off me” you say looking at him.Bucky's hand stills, pressed flat against your stomach. “Is that what you really want?” he asks, his voice a low murmur. “Or are you just saying that because you’re too stubborn to admit you like my hands on you?”

"Why would I like it, hm?" You murmur, looking at him.Bucky grins above you, his eyes flicking down to your lips. “Oh, I think you do. I think you like me this close to you. I think you like the way my hand feels on your skin….”

His prosthetic hand travels up, pushing under your top until you can feel the cool metal against the skin of your stomach. “I think you’re just too stubborn to admit it,” he says, his voice a sultry whisper.

His fingers trace the edge of your bra through your shirt, a light touch that sends a shiver down your spine. “I think you’re struggling to keep hold of all those smartass comments, aren’t you?” he murmurs. “I think you’re about to lose your words completely.”

“fuck you” you blurt out looking at him.Bucky laughs, his voice a deep rumble. “Now that’s exactly the kind of dirty talk I like to hear,” he replies, enjoying your reaction. His hand slips down, his fingers hooking into the waistband of your shorts. “You know, you really should watch that mouth of yours, princess.”

You could feel his hardness touching you and you looked up at him. "You like this kinky game, yes?" you murmur.

Bucky’s smirk turns into a grin, his eyes darkening with want. “I like anything that gets a reaction out of you,” he replies, his hand roaming across your hip and up your thigh. “And you’ve been giving me quite the reaction.”

His hand slips under your top, his fingers splaying across your back. He pulls you closer to him, his hips grinding against yours. “But I have a feeling we could both have some more fun…”

You hold back a moan feeling his hardness more towards you.Bucky’s smirk only widens as he hears your stifled moan. “That’s more like it,” he says, his hand moving to the back of your neck. “I was wondering how long it would take for you to make a noise for me.”

"you won't get anything from me" he murmured not with the same certainty that characterizes you.Bucky laughs, his breath hot against your skin. “Oh, princess, I think you underestimate me,” he replies. “I’ll get you to make all sorts of pretty noises for me before the night is over.”

His lips find your neck, his teeth nipping at your skin. “And you can’t fool me,” he murmurs. “I can feel you shivering, I can hear your breathing getting rougher. You like this, don’t you? You like the way I’m touching you….”

His hand is roaming over your body, pushing your shirt higher over your stomach and your chest. “Go on,” he urges, his voice husky. “Say it. Tell me you like it when I touch you like this….”

“No, I don’t,” you say even as your sighs grow heavy.

Bucky laughs at your stubbornness, but there’s an edge to it. “Oh, princess, you’re a terrible liar,” he says, his hand moving to your waist. “I know you want this. I can feel it in the way you arch your back when I touch you. And I’m not going to stop until you stop pretending.”

His mouth is on your neck now, his teeth scraping against your skin. “Stop playing games, sweetheart,” he murmurs. “Tell me you want me. Tell me you need me.”

You moan at the contact. “no, I don’t” you say in a tense voice.

Bucky’s smirk widens, his hand sliding up your leg. “Your moans don’t seem to agree with your words,” he murmurs. “I know you can’t resist me. I know you’re just as much of a mess under my touch as I am under yours….”

His hand moves farther north, slipping under the hem of your shorts. “Give in, princess,” he whispers, his voice a low growl. “Just say the words and I’m all yours….”

You closed your eyes trying not to give in but you could feel Bucky's hand playing with your thong.Bucky lets out a low chuckle as he feels you react to his touch. “There you go,” he murmurs, his fingers playing with the lace of your lingerie. “I know you’re close to breaking, isn’t that right? I know you’re just moments away from giving in…”

His thumb brushes against your most sensitive spot through the thin fabric, drawing a gasp from your lips. “Come on, princess, I want to hear you say it,” he says, his voice dripping with want. “I want to hear you admit that you want this as badly as I do…”

You moan at the touch and arch. “I hate you so much” you murmur.Bucky laughs huskily, feeling your body respond to his touch. “No, you don’t,” he murmurs, his breath hot against your skin. “You don’t hate me at all. You hate how much you want me…. How much you need me….”

His fingers toy with the waistband of your shorts, his hand edging them down your hips. “Admit it, princess,” he whispers, his teeth nipping at your earlobe. “Admit that you want me as badly as I want you….” His hand moves to your inner thigh, his touch light and teasing. “Say the words,” he urges, his voice low and rough. “Say you want me, princess. Say you need me just as badly as I need you….”

You bit your lip to keep from giving in but it was very difficult, you were wavering and you just wanted him to give you pleasure.Bucky lets out a low curse as he feels you resist him. “You’re such a stubborn little thing,” he grumbles, his hand tightening on your thigh. “But I won’t let you keep up this act, princess. I’ll break you, it’s only a matter of time…. Just say the words, sweetheart….”

His fingers slide further up your thigh, edging up under your shorts. “Just a few words, princess,” he urges, his voice rough with want. “Just tell me you want me, and then I’ll give you what you need…”

You moan again but you don't want to give in. "No".Bucky curses again, his fingers tightening on your thigh. “You’re so damn stubborn, princess,” he mutters, his voice tight with want. “But you’re also lying to yourself….”

Bucky finally leans down and kisses you passionately and hungrily.The kiss is almost violent, a clash of need and desperation. Bucky’s lips are hot against yours, his tongue seeking yours as he presses you into the sheets. He bites at your bottom lip, then leans back, his eyes dark with desire. “Say it, princess,” he growls, his hand still on your thigh. “Just say you want me….”

You moan and kiss him. Bucky laughs huskily, his hand moving up your body. “There we go, princess,” he murmurs against your lips. “That’s what I’ve been waiting for…”His lips move down to your neck, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin there and causing you to gasp again. “Say it, princess,” he repeats, his hand finally moving up to cup your core. “Just tell me you want me….”

You moan at his words and surrender to him. "I want you".Bucky lets out a low growl of satisfaction as he hears your words. “That’s what I thought,” he mutters, his fingers trailing against your skin. “I knew you couldn’t resist me for long.”

He takes your wrists in his hand, pinning them above your head. His body presses against yours, his weight holding you in place. “Now that wasn’t so hard, was it, princess?” he whispers in your ear, his breath hot and heavy.His hand slides down your body, his touch sending shivers down your spine. “But now that you’ve given in, I’m going to have some fun with you…” he murmurs, his voice dark with promise. “I’m going to make you scream for me…”

He kissed you again and put two fingers inside your panties and into your core making you moan into the kiss.Bucky lets out a low chuckle as he feels you arch against him. “That’s it, princess,” he murmurs against your lips. “Let it out. Let me hear how good I make you feel…”He moves his fingers slowly, finding a rhythm that makes you moan again. “I knew you’d feel good,” he whispers, his eyes dark with want. “

His fingers move a little faster, the pressure inside of you increasing. “But I bet I could make you feel even better…” he murmurs, his mouth moving down to your neck. “I bet I could make you scream for me".

“Bucky” you moan and arch once more.Bucky’s smirk is almost feral as he hears you moan his name. “There it is,” he mutters, his fingers working faster as they press deeper into you. “I knew you’d sound like that when you finally let yourself go…”

He bites at your neck, his teeth sinking into your skin. “And I know I can make you moan louder, sweetheart… if you beg me right…”

His fingers move again, finding a place inside you that makes you gasp. “Beg me, princess,” he murmurs, his voice rough with lust. “Beg me to make you feel good. Beg me to give you what you need…”

You felt his fingers go faster and faster inside you and you could feel yourself getting close. “Please Bucky,” you murmur.Bucky grins at your words, his fingers moving even faster. “Please, what, princess?” he murmurs, his mouth moving to your ear. “Say it. Tell me what you want me to do…”

“let me come please” You murmur moving your hips on his fingers.

Bucky grins at your pleading tone, his fingers finally getting the reaction he wanted. “That’s it, sweetheart,” he murmurs, his voice low and rough. “You sound so pretty when you beg for me like that… so pretty when you ask for what you want…”

His fingers move a little faster, going deeper. “You’re so close, princess,” he whispers, his breath hot against your skin. “I can feel it. I can feel your body tensing up… begging for release…"

He moves his mouth back to your neck, his teeth nipping at your skin as he presses his forehead against yours. “But you have to ask me nicely if you want it…” he mutters, his voice raw with need. “You have to beg me for what you need, princess…”

You whimper at his words. “please Bucky, I’m so close” you murmur.Bucky’s grin widens at your words, his fingers finally giving you what you’ve been craving. “Yeah, you like that, don’t you?” he mutters, his touch rough yet still gentle with you. “You like it when I make you beg for it…”

“please” you murmur moaning feeling yourself getting closer and closer.Bucky’s fingers move a little faster at your words, his touch more insistent as he moves against you. “Almost there, princess, you’re so close,” he murmurs, his voice a low growl. “But I need you to say those magic words. I need you to beg me one more time…”

"Bucky please" you scream.Bucky grins at your scream, his fingers moving faster than ever inside you. “There it is, princess,” he mutters, breathing hard. “You sound so pretty when you scream my name… now let go for me, sweetheart."

You moan at his words and come on his fingers. “fuck” you murmur, closing your eyes in pleasure.Bucky let out a low growl as he feels you come on his fingers. “That’s it,” he mutters, his voice rough with satisfaction. “That’s my good girl…”

He withdraws his fingers and brings them to his mouth, licking them clean. “You taste so sweet,” he murmurs, his eyes dark with lust. “I knew you’d be sweet"

Bucky leans down, his body pressing against yours. “But I’m not done with you yet, princess,” he murmurs, his voice low and dangerous. “Not even close…”

You look at him knowing you were in for a long night.

[ddejavvu]

Telling Tony something like "Don't worry old man, I have enough stamina for the both of us 😌" to tease him, only for him to last so long he has to take over for you when you can't keep riding him :(

this post is 18+, minors dni.

"What was that you said earlier about me being an old man?" Tony muses, casual in tone while your breath fans hot and heavy over his chest.

"Tony, I-i-" You're not sure whether you want to apologize or beg- probably both, but you're so tuckered out from trying to balance leaning into the desperate pleasure clawing at your insides and keeping yourself steadily riding Tony's cock that nothing transmits from your brain to your mouth.

"I should have bet on who'd last longer." He laments, plucking your wrist from where it's bent against his chest, holding your hand hostage in the air before dropping it and letting it fall back down to his abdomen, "I'd have been rich."

"Tony, help me," You plead, almost a wheeze as you rake in lungfuls of air, tears pricking at your eyes as you grind against his hips with the meager strength you have left. Your biceps and thighs sting when you try using them, leaving you weak against Tony's form where he lazes against the headboard. Still, you pump your hips, barely moving but desperate for any friction at all as your parted lips graze his shoulder.

"I don't know, it just seems insensitive." He ponders, "I mean, you were so sure you could take charge tonight, and if I step in now, it would be stunting your potential and leaving you reliant on others to save the day for you." He lets your exasperated sound, part sigh, part whimper, part groan, be the backing track for his next statement, "They say the number one rule of teaching is that they don't learn if you do it for them."

"Tony." Your fingers curl against his skin, surely leaving crescent marks in his chest, "Please- please quit the bullshit. I want- I need, I need more, I need you to move me, please!"

You've said the magic words, and Tony's super abilities may be advertised in terms of his technological marvels, but he's undeniably strong when he wrestles you onto your back, flipping you over so that his chest presses against yours.

"Remember this." He says, but it sounds like an order now, not dry wit like before, "The next time you think you're gonna boss me around, remember the way your back just hit the mattress, and quit playing top before you get exactly what you asked for."

[mayrose713]

Beautifully Cruel World-Chapter 15

Series Masterlist | Previous | Next

ABO Non-Idol Stray Kids Universe Poly OT8 x Reader 18+ MDNI

Warnings in the Series Masterlist as well as any other information needed

A/N: Idk if anyone else's seasonal depression is hitting them harder at the moment but man is mine kicking my ass right now. But I finally managed to get this written so hopefully it isn't shit. I'm just happy to always get notifications of new people reading this and wanting me to still continue so I know my writing isn't completely trash at least. Enjoy!

Chapter 15

Jeongin and Hyunjin rush into the Omega’s room seeing her curled up to Seungmin before both of them jump on the bed.

“Wake up.” Jeongin says in a sing-song voice as he cuddles up to Y/n and Hyunjin puts his whole weight on Seungmin. 

“Get off you pabo.” Seungmin groans, pushing the older beta off of him, causing Hyunjin to land between Y/n and Seungmin.

“Innie.” Y/n groans. 

“What time is it anyways?” Seungmin leans over to look at his phone on the nightstand. “What’s got you guys up so early? Hyunjin is never up willingly before ten.”

“We’re doing our beach day today.” Jeongin beams looking at the two. “Felix and Jisung are waking Minho and Channie hyungs up right now.”

“Changbin just got back from the gym and is in the shower.” 

“You get to wear your new swimsuit. Ow.” Hyunjin glares at Seungmin who pinched  his side.

The omega blushes turning away from the two betas, not sure how to feel about wearing the swimsuit in front of all of them. 

“Jagiya.” Jeongin leans over Y/n, tilting his head to the side. “There’s no need to be embarrassed, it’s just us.”

“That’s exactly why she’s embarrassed.” Seungmin pushes the younger one over to lay back on the bed. “All of you are nothing but horny males.” 

“You say that as if you aren’t a horny male yourself.” Hyunjin tackles Seungmin to the floor and they start wrestling. 

Jeongin pulls the omega to his chest as they watch the two tumble with each other.

“What’s going on in here?” Felix’s eyes widen as he walks in with Chan. 

“Alright, break it up.” Chan bends down to separate the two beta’s but Hyunjin pounces on him. “So the pups wanna play huh?” Chan looks up at Hyunjin before flipping them over, pinning the younger male under him until Seungmin jumps him, tackling the alpha to the ground.

“You’re getting slow old man.”

Felix quickly joins Y/n and Jeongin on the bed taking notice of the glint in the youngest alpha’s eyes and takes the girl from him.

“Join them.” Felix nudges him, making Jeongin look at him unsure. “Go on, I’ve got our girl.”

Jeongin takes a second looking at both of the omegas before smiling and jumps off the bed onto his alpha’s back.

“Ah, Innie, claws.” Chan groans in pain.

“You like it when I claw you.” Jeongin huffs as Chan shrugs him off of his back before suddenly Hyunjin tackles the youngest. 

Changbin, Minho and Jisung step into the doorway to see what's going on, shaking their heads at the antics going on. It’s when Seungmin bites Chan that the alpha has enough and picks up the youngest beta.

“Put me down, old man.” Seungmin squirms.

“Who’s your alpha?”

“Fuck off, I’m not saying it.”

Minho and Changbin quickly grab the omegas off the bed just before Chan flings Seungmin on it, pinning him down.

“Yah, careful.” Minho shouts. 

“Sorry babies.” Chan turns to the two in the other two alpha’s arms.

“Bin, help me.” Seungmin tries to fight Chan’s hold on him.

“You got yourselves into this.” Changbin holds Y/n closer to his chest as Minho has Felix and Jisung leaning against him.

“You know how to get hyung to stop, just say it.” Jisungs smiles.

“Yeah pup, just say it.” Chan beams down at the beta. 

“Not happening.” Seungmin continues to struggle until both Hyunjin and Jeongin fling themselves at the alpha making them all roll off the other side of the bed. 

Y/n flinches at the thud heard from the three of them hitting the ground. She tries to move forward to maybe try and stop them but Changbin holds her in place.

“They’re okay, pretty girl.”

“Trust us kitten, it’s better not to get involved.” Minho holds Felix and Jisung close to them as they had tensed up too at the thud.

“How did this become you three against me?” Chan huffs as he stands with Jeongin locked in his arms and Hyunjin on his back. “I was only trying to separate two of you originally.”

“I couldn’t help but to join.” Jeongin tilts his head innocently. 

Chan lets go of the youngest before throwing Hyunjin off his back and onto the bed next to Seungmin.

“Who’s your alpha?”

Hyunjin looks up at him with an evil grin. “Jeongin.”

“Wrong answer.” Chan growls leaning down to bite the beta’s shoulder.

“And that’s our queue to leave.” Changbin turns Y/n away from the room, Minho doing the same with Jisung and Felix. 

“Does that happen a lot?” The omega asks as she’s led to the kitchen. 

“With them. Yeah.” Minho starts making an easy breakfast. “Innies still a new alpha so the pup likes to play, especially if it’s ‘challenging’ our alpha.”

“The betas just like ruffling some feathers.” Changbin laughs. “Occasionally Lixie and Ji do it too.”

Seungmin walks in smiling. “Hyunjins getting his ass handed to him by both alphas.” 

“He knew better.” Jisung shakes his head. 

“I don’t know why you’re so smug, pup.” Changbin grabs the beta’s arm. “You weren’t any better.”

Seungmin looks up at the older male and gulps.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆

Y/n stands hugging herself as she watches the boys all running around the beach getting umbrellas, towels and beach chairs set up. Hyunjin and Felix have already run out into the water ignoring Chan’s calls to put on sunscreen first. 

She manages to stay unnoticed for a while until all of them get in the water, playing and swimming. Well almost all of them. Minho sits in a beach chair watching her behind his sunglasses as she stands there watching her pack, still wearing her coverup over her swimsuit.

“Y/n.” She jumps when he calls her name and turns to look at him.

The alpha motions for her to join which she hesitates before walking over to the chair where he grabs her waist and pulls her onto his lap.

“Yeah?”

“You look uncomfortable.” He looks over her closely. “Talk to me. Tell me what's going on in that pretty little mind of yours.”

She manages to smile as he taps her head and she playfully pushes his hand away. 

“It’s just… I haven’t worn a swimsuit since I was a kid.” She whispers looking away from him back at the rest of the boys in the water.

“You’re safe with us kitten.” Minho turns her face to look back at him. “It’s just us here so you won’t be harassed like you would be being an omega at a public beach.” He cups her cheek and she leans into his touch. “Besides, you didn’t seem to feel that way the other night when you went skinny dipping with Lixie.”

“That was different.” She rolls her eyes and resituates herself on his lap causing him to grip her hips. “Felix is practically another omega, he’s comforting to be with. And it’s not like I see you with your shirt off joining the others.”

“I don’t like water.” He pinches her hip but then gets an idea. “How about this baby, you take your coverup off and quit being insecure and I’ll join you in getting in the water.”

Y/n looks at him in disbelief. “Did you really just tell me to quit being insecure?”

“Yes, I did.” He places a finger under her chin. “Because you are beautiful and there is nothing for you to be insecure about. We love you how you are.”

“Thanks Min.” She smiles down at him and his hands move to the bottom of her coverup.

“Can I take this off now?” 

The omega nods and he pulls the coverup off her and over her head. He takes in the swim shorts and tankini top she’s wearing as he caresses her sides. “My beautiful girl.”

“Wanna go get in the water now?”

“Let’s go kitten.” He lifts her off his lap placing her on the sand before he gets up, pulling his shirt off, grabbing her hand. 

He drags her along the beach towards the water but stops just where the sand is wet from the waves. The others take notice of this and Chan and Changbin move, Chan running, before picking Minho up and carrying him into the water. 

“Chan put me down.” 

“Are you sure you want that?” The older alpha asks as he walks them deeper into the water.

“Binnie.” Y/n squeals as Changbin picks her up and follows the other two alphas. 

Chan drops Minho into the water causing the male to freak out a little and Y/n holds onto Changbin scared he’ll drop her in the water too.

“Relax, pretty girl.” He kisses her head. “I’m not letting go unless you ask me to.”

The omega relaxes in his arms as they walk deeper into the water. Once the water reaches up to their chests she readjust herself, wrapping her legs around his waist and arms around his neck as he holds her thighs. 

“Hi angel.” Jisung comes up to the two, happy to see her in the water.

“Wanna learn to swim princess?” Hyunjin swims over with Felix.

“Umm...” Y/n looks around at everyone.

Jeongin and Seungmin have joined Chan and Minho now. Chan holding the other alpha while the two pups are splashing them.

“I promise that none of us will let you drown.” Changbin squeezed her a little.

“Yeah, Channie, Hyun and I are all really good swimmers.” Felix reassures his fellow omega. “We’ll teach you properly. And you have all eight of us watching over you and will save you if you need it.”

“Seven.” Hyunjin corrects him as he looks over at Minho who's clinging onto their pack alpha. “Min won’t be saving anyone in the water.”

“I’ll go get one of the floaty rings for him.” Jisung starts to head back to shore.

“Get both so Y/n can have one too.” Changbin calls out before looking at said girl again. “So what do you say Y/nnie? Will you let us teach you?”

“I guess.”

Felix, Chan and Hyunjin made work on teaching Y/n how to swim, and also attempting to teach Minho, again. The other four were always close by in case she needed to cling on to one of them. Which it wasn’t until late evening when she finally stopped latching on to one of the boys or the floaty and actually swam a little by herself. It was only a few feet between Hyunjin and Felix but she did it without clinging onto Chan who stayed next to her the whole time, just in case she needed him.

“That was great, babygirl.” Chan praises once Felix grabs her into his arms. “Now go back to Jinnie.”

Felix helps push her towards the beta and she swims, more like doggy paddles, to Hyunjin who continues to back away a little so she has to swim farther but eventually lets her catch him when he notices her start to panic a little and almost grabs onto Chan again.

“Good job princess.” Hyunjin holds her close. “When we get back home we should do a pool day at least once a week so you can get better.”

“Don’t expect me to partake in those lessons.” Minho calls out from where he rests on the floaty, Jisung also somewhat laying on it.

“Hyung, you have to learn to swim eventually.” Jeongin pokes the alpha.

“I don’t have to do anything, pup.”

______________________________________________________________

Taglist will be close for now as I'm not able to tag more people for some reason

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@mo0n13 @yumuramma @nuggiesnuggetdog04 @idkwhoisthis1971 @violet-hatake

[darlingdaisyfarm]

───୨ৎ praise that old man, girl!

a/n: i adore Stanley Pines and apparently im not alone because the amount of asks i got for nsfw with this man?? who am i to deny the people what they want?? also one anon asked for public sex with Stanley sooo here you go angel!

tags: nsfw, smut, vaginal and oral sex (f receiving), age gap, dirty talk, older man/younger woman, degradation + praise, size kink, dumbification, public sex, rough sex, breeding kink

You hadn’t exactly walked into the Mystery Shack with dreams of employment. Stan had hired you on the spot, half-serious when he said he couldn’t afford to be picky. “you got a pulse? can count to ten? good, you’re in,” while shoving a broom into your hands.

You’d been working here for a while now and Stanley Pines had somehow, against all reason, taken a liking to you. You weren’t like the other employees, you were sarcastic and always ready with a quick comeback. It didn’t take long for Stan to notice and he loved the fact that you didn’t take his shit. He loved how you could dish it out just as good as he could.

You genuinely liked your work. The old place had its charm and Stan, despite his grumpy act, was actually funny in his own way.

You were sharp, quick with the same kind of deadpan humor Stan wielded like a weapon. when tourists asked the weirdest and dumbest questions as “how does this yeti paw feel so real?”, you’d shrug and go, “oh, Mr. Pines wrestled the guy for it last spring! you should’ve seen him in the ring.”

And somehow, your nonsense never grated on him.

He’d grumble about you “driving him crazy,” but the truth was, he admired how you handled people, how you could spin up a lie on the spot and sell it with a sly smirk. Even when you worked him up, you had a knack for knowing how to make him laugh before he could stay mad.

Like the time you’d swapped the “do not touch” signs in the gift shop with ones reading “please steal this.” When Stan stormed out of his office, you barely flinched. “don’t blame me. Soos did it,” you’d said again and he’d folded his arms, sighing.

“Kid, you’re gonna give me an ulcer.”

“Then you’ll get to take a vacation, Mr. Pines.”

You had a way of making him feel younger, somehow. Not just the old man with a bad back and a million regrets. Around you, he felt like the guy who still had a chance to make someone smile. And god, he loved that.

Because, god, you talk back, crack jokes, get in his face with that stupid grin of yours. And he knows you know how to get under his skin. It’s annoying and hilarious at the same time.

You’re a disaster of a worker. He’ll admit that to anyone, but for some reason, Stan forgives you. every time. “who did this? who messed up the brochures?” and you always say the same thing “Soos.”

And fuck, he adores it, the way you lie so easily and confidently. He's not mad, but charmed by it. And maybe a little turned on too, but he’ll never admit that out loud.

“You know, i should fire you, right?”

“Yeah, but you won’t, cause i’m too cute, Mr. Pines.”

Stan had wanted to stay mad, but how could he? Every time you messed up, he found a way to let it slide, not because you were good at covering your tracks, but because you always knew just what to say, how to make him forget the shit you’d done. You made it all worth it.

The pick-up lines started a few weeks in. At first, they were awful, so bad that you’d nearly die of secondhand embarrassment. “you must be tired, ‘cause you’ve been running through my mind all day, doll,” he'd say with a lazy wink. and, of course, you’d always have something ready: “you should probably take a nap then, Mr. Mystery, you’re getting old.”

The first time Stanley tried to flirt with you, he didn’t know how it’d feel. He was always smooth, always had a line ready, but it always went wrong with you. “you know, i must be a snowflake ‘cause i’m falling for you.” but before he could even get the whole line out, you shot back, “snowflakes melt. Is that really how you want to end up?”

He’d blink, caught off guard, then chuckle. “smartass.”

But Stan, the bastard, he loved that about you.

He loved how you never pretended to be anything you weren’t. No frilly nonsense or sugar-coating, just honest humor that reminded him of his own shitty jokes. You didn’t back down, never tiptoed around him, and he couldn’t even be mad when you lied about the mess-ups.

His flirts were always the same, predictable, corny, but somehow, Stan delivered them with the precision of a seasoned performer. He would laugh at your attempts to flirt back what made you want to punch him and kiss him all at once. “you’re cute when you’re trying to be a romantic,” you say as you lean against the counter with a teasing grin. “but i’m still gonna need a drink to believe you.”

Stanley grew bolder though. “if I were a few years younger. . .”

“You’d still be a pervert?”

“Nah, just a smooth talker, toots,” he’d grin, trailing his fingers over a stack of papers as you walked past, brown eyes never leaving you

The more you two exchanged these ridiculous lines, the more the tension built. The fake flirting, the dumb compliments, it was a game to both of you and neither of you could stop playing.

The shack is empty, just for now. It's an early morning in Gravity Falls, the aroma of coffee that Stan insisted on brewing too strong fills the air. He was at the counter, organising some brochures for the tours, his usual tourist-trap grin nowhere to be found yet.

Tourists haven’t arrived yet.

You were running a little late today, again. Not that Stanley really cared, but he always pretended to. The man was predictable like that. By now, you’d learned that his bark was worse than his bite, though sometimes, you didn’t mind the idea of getting a little bitten.

You walk into the Shack with coffee in one hand and bag slung over your shoulder, the creak of the floorboards greeting you. Stan was leaning against the counter when you came, scribbling something on his clipboard, his back turned to you. And that’s when you saw it.

He wasn’t wearing his girdle and it was impossible not to notice the soft swell of his stomach beneath his shirt.

Fuck. You swallow hard, trying to act normal, but there’s no stopping the heat pooling low in your belly. Mr. Pines, all thick and broad, strong arms, messy morning hair, his belly curving under his chest, that's just too much

And while anyone else might have held back, might’ve thought better of sneaking up on their boss, you didn’t hesitate. The moment you saw him, your lips curled into a smirk.

He hasn’t noticed you yet.

Stepping closer, your let your hands slide over his clothes until your palms rested against the warm curve of his belly. He jumps immediately, his hand jerking across the paper, leaving a thick, jagged line of ink.

“What the— hey! what’re you doin’, kid?!”

“Just admiring my boss?” you grin wider, leaning into him.

Another grumpy “pfft. yeah, right.” comes your way when Stan moves to brush your hands away, but you just dig your fingers in harder, letting your breasts press against his back.

“You’ve been hiding this from me all this time? What a shame.”

His face burns instantly, bright red flushing up his neck. “dammit, don’t go grabbin’ me like that! i’m too old for—”

“Oh, come on,” you cut him off, crowding him against the counter. “you’re not too anything. in fact,” your fingers dip just slightly below his beltline, teasing. “i think you’re perfect just the way you are.”

“Perfect? hah, are you outta your damn mind? Look at me! I’m no spring chicken, alright? i’ve got—”

“Got what, Mr. Pines?” you interrupt. “nice body?” your nails scrape lightly against your boss, earning a shaky exhale from him. “i like it. a lot.”

“Cut it out, kid, this ain’t the kinda body women go crazy for. You’re wastin’ your time”

You frown. “says who?”

He huffs in embarrassment. “C’mon, you've seen it. I'm too old and- and uh, rough around the edges?”

“Damn, exactly what i like,” his whole body stiffens under your touch. “big strong hands, broad chest and this belly, i want all of it, Mr. Pines.”

“You got a filthy mouth, y’know.”

“Oh, i had a good teacher.” you giggle, feeling him already getting hard. “you ever been touched like this, Mr. Pines?”

Stan exhales hard, irritated and flustered. “‘course I have, don’t talk like I’m some goddamn virgin.”

“Thats not what i meant.” your nails scrape, dragging slow over his belly, over the dips and curves.

He tries to change the tactics then. “listen, sweetie, i’m too old for this shit, alright? you- you deserve some young, pretty guy who—“

“Who what? who doesn’t look half as good as you? who can’t make me laugh the way you do? who doesn’t make me want to do this? i like it thick, broad, strong. You could just throw me around and have your way with me, Mr. Pines.”

Stanley fucking stops breathing. Hes hesitating because he doesn’t want to admit he’s just as fucking hungry for this as you are.

He runs a hand over his face, trying and failing to keep his composure. “You- you’re crazy, y’know that?” but you always knew how to get under his skin.

“Admit it, you’d miss me if i wasn’t here to keep you on your toes.” your fingertips graze his bulge once more and that's it. Stan’s breath stutters in his throat.

“Hot belgium waffles, you better be serious, sweetheart.” he’s already turning, crowding you against the counter, gripping your waist, your hips, your ass.

“Why wouldn’t i be?” you gasp after you say the last word when he palms your tits, kneads them roughly.

“You wanna be fucked like that? like a real man oughta do it?” he leans closer to your face. You nod too eagerly and Stan doesn’t waste a second “we better make this quick,” while his fingers already yanking at your clothes, dragging you onto the counter, pressing his mouth to yours.

Quick. Ha.

Stan kisses like he’s trying to eat you alive, pushing his tongue into your mouth. You moan, grinding against him, feeling the hard length of his cock pressing into your stomach

You should have known better. Should’ve known better than to touch him like that, to let your fingers linger on the soft curve of his belly as he stood there, all unbuttoned and exposed. But you didn’t. You couldn’t. Because the moment your hands landed there, the pull was too strong, and you knew that if you didn’t take it now, you’d burn up inside.

“You sure you want this, baby? ‘cause once i start, i’m not stoppin.” you nod, gasping for breath, and that’s all he needs. “good, i’ve been holding back long enough.” he gropes you, touches you everywhere, his hands roaming over your back, squeezing your ass.

“Fuck, these are perfect,” your bra is barely on you before he’s palming your tits, squeezing rough, thumbing your nipples, watching them peak.

He licks his lips, then leans down and latches on. Wet, sucking, pulling noises fill the Shack. You arch, whimper, push into his mouth and he groans. “needy little thing, ain’t ya?” he switches breasts, drags his tongue over the swell, teeth scraping before sucking your nipple into his mouth, rolling it, flicking it.

Stanley Pines, despite his gruff exterior, is a sweaty mess in front of you. A man that had given up, probably, on ever being seen as sexy. That’s what made it so deliciously easy to shatter him. To break that cold shell. Because he didn’t see it, did he? He didn’t see how much his body, his age, even his wrinkles, didn’t matter to you. You just want him to feel it. You want him to feel desired, so badly.

“Fucking hell, yer driving me insane, toots.”

You laugh breathlessly. “don’t be so dramatic, old man. You’re tougher than you look.”

“Oh, you’re gonna pay for that one,” he growls as he pushes you back against the counter, gripping your thighs.

His mouth is on you again, kissing down your neck, biting, his tongue leaving hot scorching wet trails that fill your stomach with butterflies. You grind against him, feeling the press of his cock through his pants.

“You want this, huh? want me to fuck you right here, where anyone could walk in?”

“Yes, i need you, Mr. Pines.” your hands grip his shoulders, pulling him closer.

Stanley presses his thick fingers against your underwear, circling your throbbing clit through your panties, drawing soft sounds from your lips.

“Already so wet. Hell, you’re gonna take me so good, aren’t ya? this tight little pussy’s gonna feel so fuckin’ good around my cock.”

You moan, your head falling back, your body arching against him as he works you with his fingers faster, harder.

“Please, please, please, need you!” then, out of the blue, or maybe because you're too lost to even care so you'd mumble everything that comes out of your mouth, you quietly admit. “Mr. Pines, f-fuck, ive touched myself to the thought of you—”

Stanley looks at you. “say that again.”

“I've thought about you, i fingered myself imagining it was your cock.” you say quietly, looking at him with little hearts in your puppy eyes.

“Jesus christ, you filthy little thing.”

“Stan—”

“Mr. Pines.” fuck. the way he corrects you, heat coils in your stomach, between your legs. “You wanna get fucked good, you use the right name.”

“M-Mr. Pines—fuck, please—” his fingers press harder, rubbing slow, teasing circles over your clothed clit.

“Soaked. And i ain’t even touched you yet.” you whine, pressing into his hands, your hips twitching. And that bastard laughs. “poor thing, you really need it, huh? sweetie, you’re lucky i’m not makin’ you beg for it.” yet, he forgot to add.

You’re about to retort, but then his fingers slide your panties to the side, spreading your folds, dragging through your wet slit.

“Fuck, baby, dripping all over my fingers.”

“N-need you—”

“Aw, yeah? that so?” he pushes a finger in your pussy so fucking slow, savouring the way your little cunt takes his thick digit, already imagining how perfect it'd be with his cock instead. “tight angel, fuck, so tight.” Stan manhandles you roughly, spreading your legs with his hands, kneeling in front of you, about to devour you whole. You feel his hot breath against your core and when he leans in and his tongue finally licks a long, slow stripe through your folds, you swear you see stars.

“Taste even better than i thought,” he groans, voice muffled against your pussy. His big hands grip your thighs, holding you open as he buries his face between your legs, licking and sucking like a man starved.

“Mr. Pines—oh my g-god—” Stanley keeps grunting and moaning, the vibration sending shocks through your body.

“Fuck, keep sayin’ my name like that. Can’t get enough of you, doll.” his warm tongue flicks your swollen clit and he slides two fingers into you, curling them, scissoring. Your hips buck against his face, but he holds you down with one arm across your stomach. “Stay still, princess, let me take care of you.”

You’re already close and he knows it, his fingers pumping into you faster, his mouth relentless on your clit. You fall over the edge with a cry, your thighs trembling as he works you through it, fingers still moving, tongue still teasing, until you’re begging him to stop from overstimulation, tugging his hair. Stanley pulls back, lips and chin glistening and grins like the filthy bastard he is. “cant believe i’ve been missin’ out on this.”

He stands, towering over you and you reach for him, fumbling with his belt. When the metal buckle clinks loudly in the quiet of the Shack, Stanley impatiently shoves his pants down to free himself.

Your gaze drops and your eyes widen. Jesus christ.

“Like what you see?”

“I’d be stupid not to,” you grin, reaching out to wrap your fingers around him, making him curse under his breath, his hips jerking into your hand as he grabs your wrist, guiding you to pump his hard length slowly.

But you two don't have much time so he holds your panties aside with one hand, lining himself up with the other and with a single thrust, Stan buries himself inside you, stretching you so perfectly it makes your vision blur.

“Fuck,” his hands grip your hips so hard you were sure there will be bruises. “you’re so fuckin’ tight and warm. Goddamn, sweetheart.”

Your response breaks off into a whimper as he starts moving, slow at first to let you get used, his hips rolling into yours smoothly.

“That’s it, take it, baby, all of me.” you let out a soft moan, looking down where you both connected and he grins, pressing his hand against your stomach, where the outline of him bulged beneath your skin. “look at that, i’m so fuckin’ deep, i can feel myself here. You feel it, baby? feel me stretchin’ ya open?”

You nod frantically, your head spinning with every relentless thrust as he stretches you in ways you didn’t think possible. You cry out, your nails raking down his back, your body arching against him as he sets a brutal pace, driving into you over and over again.

“Such a pretty little thing, lettin' an old bastard like me ruin ya.”

You can only nod, your needy voice lost to the pleasure as youre getting fucked that good, right here in the Shack, where anyone could walk in.

He’s watching you, watching your pussy stretch around his fat cock, watching the way you tremble. His big hands grip your thighs, spreading you wider, forcing you to take all of him.

“Bet no one’s ever fucked you like this before, huh?” he slams into you again, making the counter creak beneath you. Using his strong hands he keeps you in place as his cock drives in and out of your dripping, swollen cunt.

“C'mon, answer me, baby,” he growls, his hand sliding up to grab your jaw, forcing your glazed-over eyes to meet his. His cock buries deep, hitting that spot inside you that makes your legs tremble. ”didn’t ask for silence. you ever been fucked like this before?”

Your eyes are closed as you shake your head, whimpering. “n-no.”

“No, what?”

"N-no one’s ever fucked me like this, Mr. Pines—”

“Good girl, use your words,” Stan grips your chin and forces you to meet his gaze. “tell me how much you love this cock.”

“S-so much,” you manage to choke out between pathetic whines and mewls, your brain turning into useless mess. “i love it, i love you, Mr. Pines, don’t stop!” tears pricking the corners of your eyes.

“Poor thing, all those boys before me and none of ‘em knew how to stretch this perfect cunt open right.” he shifts his hips, grindings his cock against your walls, making you sob. “bet they didn’t even know how to fuck you proper, huh? didn’t know how to make ya beg?”

You shake your head and gasp, clinging to him.

His hand slides down your body, rough fingers rubbing over your swollen, sensitive clit. “owwh, they never even made ya cum, did they, sweetheart?”

“No, they didn’t, Mr. Pines.”

“Fuckin’ shame. all those useless boys, never knew what they were missin’.” his thumb circles your clit. “but don't worry, this pussy’s mine now, ya hear me? No one else’s. I’m the only one who can fuck ya like this, make ya feel this good.”

“Mr. Pines, ple-please. . .’

“Please what, sugar?” he pants, fucking you so deep you swear you feel him rearranging your insides.

You sob, tears spilling from your pretty eyes. “p-please, make me cum—” Stan doesn’t let up, not even for a second. His cock is buried so deep inside you that you can barely breathe and think, barely do anything but moan and take it like the filthy little thing you are.

“Aw, baby, you gonna cum already? just from my cock stretchin’ ya open like this?” you nod, your body tightening around him. “fuck, that’s right, sweetheart, squeeze me just like that. Never thought i’d get to ruin somethin’ so perfect.” his pace picks up, his cock pounding into you so hard you’re sure the counter’s going to break.

You were supposed to keep it quick. just a little pre-tour fuck as you both said.

But thirty minutes turned into sixty and sixty turned into absolute depravity.

The counter was first, but then Stan couldn’t stop. His cock is buried deep inside your soaked, needy cunt as his hands hold you while he thrusts into you.

"Fuckin’ christ, doll, this pussy’s gonna be the death of me."

You had your legs around his waist, arms locked around his neck, Stanley fucking into you so deep you felt like you’d pass out. But then he lifted you up, didn’t even bother pulling out, just carried you like you weighed nothing, still fucking up into you, and took you across the shack like a man possessed.

“Mr. Pines!” and “so good!” were the only words you knew.

“Thought we were keepin’ this quick, huh?” he grunts. “then why the fuck can’t i stop?”

You can’t even answer because your mouth is too busy moaning, gasping, babbling absolute nonsense while he splits you open, every inch pushing against your soft, sensitive walls, stuffing your tight pussy full.

You arch your back, sobbing, because you need it fast again, rough again, animalistic again. And he fucking gives it to you, by grabbing your thighs, folding you in half and absolutely destroying you.

“Fuckin’ filthy girl, letting an old bastard like me ruin this tight little pussy. Even dreamed about this, ugh, layin’ awake at night, fingers buried in that needy little cunt, wishin’ it was me.”

What can you say except loud “yesyesyes!” gasps? However, Stanley is satisfied with that.

“Yeah? bet you’re never gonna want anyone else fuckin’ you again.”

He doesn’t stop. Every display case. Every fake cryptid setup. Even the damn vending machine.

“You're so fuckin’ wet, doll, i could slide into this little cunt with no effort at all.”

Fake exhibits? fucked over them. That fake monster cage? Bent over it. That dusty-ass animatronic Stan managed to steal? yeah, he fucked you right in front of it, hands gripping your ass, hips slamming into yours so hard the damn thing started moving

Stan literally punched it to shut it up.

But did he stop? no.

“Shut the hell up, buddy,” he muttered to the machine, before shoving his cock back inside you and making you scream.

but the final round?

Staff room.

Both of you panting, sweaty, while he takes you from behind, balls slapping against your throbbing clit, the slick sound of skin on skin echoing through the empty Shack.

Or, well, not so empty anymore, because suddenly you hear the honk of a tourist bus outside.

Stan’s head snaps up. “oh, you gotta be fuckin’ kidding me—”

His eyes dart to the stupid clock on the wall and he actually freezes for a second.

“We— we were supposed to open, like—shit, twenty minutes ago.”

“So? keep going.” you say lazily under him.

“Oh, you’re gonna get me in trouble.” but does he stop? does he fucking stop?

No, no he does not. Instead, he fucks you harder.

“I'm gonna make this quick, baby, gonna fill you up real nice, then i gotta—fuck—gotta get to work—“

But then— ��uh, Mr. Mystery?”

fuck.

Stan’s body locks up and you both freeze. The voice is right outside the door. Stanley lets out the deepest, most exhausted sigh. “Uh, yeah?”

The tourist hums. “sooo i was wondering, when does the tour start? we’ve been waiting outside for a while.”

Stan closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “yeah, yeah, uh, give me five minutes, kid, i got, uh, got a bad back today, y'know? just need a second to—uhhh—” you clench around him, tight, so fucking tight and his words cut off in a groan.

He glares at you. you just smirk.

“You okay in there, Mr. Mystery?”

Stan forces his voice steady. “yeah, yeah, just—” he grits his teeth. “just need a minute to stretch it out.” he snaps his hips forward, stuffing his cock back into your cunt, deep and slow, forcing you to feel every thick, throbbing inch

You whimper, just to fuck with him because this old man is so funny when annoyed.

“Fuckin’ hell, stop that.” he growls under his breath at you.

But the tourist won’t leave.

“So, uh, what’s the official policy on taking pictures of the fake exhibits?”

Stan’s eye twitches, his hips jerk forward involuntarily and you let out a choked gasp.

The tourist pauses.

“Mr. Mystery? are you sure you're okay?”

Stan immediately shoves a hand over your mouth. “Told you, just back’s actin’ up, kid.”

The tourist keeps talking.

“What do you think the likelihood is of alien activity in oregon? because personally, i think—”

You clench around him again. Stan chokes on a groan, his cock throbbing inside you as he tries to keep his voice normal.

“Listen, kid, why don’t you, uh, go look at the gift shop or somethin’, huh?”

“Oh, but i wanted to ask about—”

Stan loses it

“NOT NOW, KID. TOUR STARTS IN TEN MINUTES. LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE.”

“Ohh. . . Okay?” fucking finally, you hear footsteps and door creaking, that idiot leaving

Stanley slumps forward, forehead against your shoulder.

“Poor Mr. Mystery,” you tease, moving your hips. “just trying to do his job, but this damn girl won’t stop teasing him—”

“Ohhh, you thought you were so fuckin’ cute, huh?” the deep rasp of his voice sends shivers down your spine. His chest is pressed against your back, his weight holding you down while his cock still stuffed inside your ruined cunt. “moanin’ all pretty while i was tryna talk? teasin’ me in front of that dumbass tourist. Makin’ those fuckin’ sounds on purpose. Thought i wouldn’t do somethin’ about it?”

You yelp when his hand grips your hair, yanking your head back just enough to whisper against your ear. “you wanna act like a dumb little slut? then i’m gonna fuck you like one.” after that, Stan pulls out slowly, torturously just to slam back in.

You cry out. No, the sound you make would be better described as pathetic loud whine.

But Stan slaps a hand over your mouth, pressing you into the couch. “uh-uh, pretty, you don’t get to be loud now. you lost that privilege.”

His cock is so deep, stretching your cunt open, filling you completely. Every thrust is hard, brutal, messy, wet. Your pussy clenches around him, sucking him in, greedy for more as you whimper into his big palm. The couch creaks under you, the whole room still eerily silent except for the filthy, wet sounds of him using you.

“Aw, what’s wrong, baby? thought you liked teasin’ me. now you can’t even take my cock?” as you nearly fall from the fast rhythm. Stan laughs against your ear. “thought you wanted me to fuckin’ ruin you, huh? turn this sloppy little cunt into my personal fuckhole?”

You can't even moan as Stan snaps his hips up, hitting so deep it knocks the breath from your lungs.

“What’s the matter, princess? feelin’ a little too full?” his belly presses against your back, his size overwhelming you, his weight pinning you down, making sure you can’t run from him as he grabs your waist, pulls you back onto him, forces you to take every inch. “ this little cunt’s gonna take every last drop, huh? ‘cause that’s what you are, ain’tcha?”

His fingers grip your jaw, turning your head so he can look in your glassy eyes.

“Say it, sweetie. Tell me what you are.”

Your brows knit together. “m’ your dumb little slut, Mr. Pines. . .m’ made to take your cock—” words come out barely coherent through the lewd slap of skin-on-skin filling the room.

Damn right. His hand slides down, finding your clit, rubbing it fast. Your body jerks, overstimulated.

“Too much?” his voice is mocking. “too fuckin’ bad, baby. Shoulda thought of that before you started actin’ like a brat.”

You’re already close again, what is it now, your sixth orgasm? Eighth? You shake too hard in his hands as your cunt spasms around his cock.

“Gonna fill you up, doll. make you fuckin’ mine. you want that? lemme hear you beg.”

”P-please. . . ple, mhm. . .hhng . .” your words muffled against his palm.

“Please what?”

“Please—please breed my messy cunt, Mr. Pines—please, please—”

“Holy shit, baby, you want me to breed this little pussy? want me to fill you so full you’ll be drippin’ down your thighs all day?”

You nod frantically and Stanley feels you smile widely against his skin what makes him laugh. Such a dumb slut you are.

“Greedy little thing. y'know i gotta work today, right?” his cock throbs inside you, stuffing you so full you can feel him in your stomach. ”but fuck- fuck, baby, can’t help it.” his hips snap forward, burying himself completely as he cums, making you feel every pulse, every throbbing rope of his hot seed spilling inside you, flooding your pussy.

Your own orgasm hits so hard your vision whites out, your cunt clenching tight, squeezing him, milking him dry.

“Oh, that's it, baby, there it is. Good little slut.” you collapse, trembling, fucked-out and absolutely ruined.

Stan stays inside you, catching his breath, watching as his cum spills out, dripping down your thighs. He leans down, kisses your neck. “gonna clean you up, sweetheart.”

You blink up at him through tired eyes, dizzy. “with what?”

He smirks. “my fuckin’ tongue.” uh oh, you guess Mystery Shack is gonna open late today because even though Stanley Pines has a job to do, first he’s gotta make sure his messy girl is properly taken care of.

[aliwritex]

dad!franco headcanons 💐

Before the baby was born, when the furniture for the nursery started arriving he insisted on putting it together himself because he was ‘totally capable of doing so’. And you believed him, but he had a flaw, he never actually read the instructions, only quickly looked at the pictures and guessed it was enough. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. “what happened? i thought you were almost done” you were surprised to see multiple parts of the crib back on the floor “i used the wrong screw, so i was missing some long ones, so i had to got back to get them” “leave it be for tonight, yeah? i’ll help you with it tomorrow” The next morning everything went smoothly as you actually read the steps and organized the different screws and parts by numbers.

You enjoyed being pregnant more than you thought you would, because of your active lifestyle and young age pregnancy was very easy on you. And most of your days were spent on walks, pilates classes and buying. Almost every day you were doing deep research on the best products of each category and online shopping. Especially if Franco wasn’t home, it was the best way to spend time and feel less lonely. You would always call him when things arrived, showing him everything and putting it away in the nursery.

Franco cried way more than you expected when your son was born. Maybe it was because of the exhaustion of being awake with you for 13 hours of labor, maybe he was just very emotional. You were in a bubble for a second when they finally handed you the baby — and it was a short second because you still had more to deliver. But as soon as you were all cleaned up, taken care of and sound asleep Franco turned his full attention to the baby. When you woke up he was humming and the baby was sleeping in his bare chest, only a blanket covering their bodies. “i love you two” you whispered to them

Nothing made Teo happier than seeing his dad come home from work. He was always all smiles when Franco walked through the door or waking up to him when he got home in the middle of the night. “hey” you whispered into the dark nursery “you didn’t need to get up, i got home just in time for his bottle” “thank you, my love, but i’ll take it from here, you go shower so we can go back to sleep” you’d be too tired by the time he was done to say anything about him sneaking Mateo in the bed with you.

Your favorite thing in the world was seeing them sleeping together. It seemed that your boyfriend had magical arms because no matter how fussy or upset Teo was, the second Franco picked him up it was like he couldn’t keep his eyes open, bonus points for chupi and blankie. That’s what you missed the most when he was away, you didn’t have the same patience if Teo was throwing a tantrum to skip his nap times or pushback bed time. You never understood what was so magical about Papa’s chest that made him fall asleep in minutes, if anything you were supposed to be more comfortable – you had two natural pillows! “¡Papa!” your son whined and ran from you when he heard the front door open. “¿que pasa, mi amor?” he picked him up and the crying stopped almost immediately but as Franco made his way in he realized the boy wasn’t the only one crying “vida? what’s wrong? what happened?” he asked but you just buried your face on his other shoulder, letting your tears soak up his shirt. “i’m sorry, ‘t’s nothing, let me take him” “what? no. what the fuck happened here?” he asked calmly “what are you even sorry for?” “not being enough for him, for you. god, i’ve been wrestling him to go to bed for so long, then you get here and boom, he’s out. i just didn’t know what to do anymore” he heard your confession and hugged you tighter, rubbing his palm on your back. “you could’ve called me. i’ll be back in a second. always call me if it gets too much” he kissed the top of your head.

When Franco was home he was in charge of putting Mateo down for his morning nap while you cooked lunch. This one monday though, he had just gotten home a couple hours before but insisted on following your routine, so he sat on the couch with his son, arm wrapped around him to support the bottle in his mouth. Franco was the one to fall asleep instead of the child, who slipped from his dads hold. When he woke up you were standing in front of him, taking a picture of his sticker covered face. “I told you I could put him down if you were too tired” you said, taking the bottle from his hand — that had spilled all over your decorative pillows. “Did he sleep?” you chuckled and pointed to the floor, where your son slept hugging his favorite stuffed animal.

[cryptid-killjoy]

Curly hair was down for the count!

He started screaming at the top of his lungs shrill like a girl. "ZOMBIE! ZOMBIEEEEEEEEEEE! OH GOD! Get it!" He was scrambling, flailing, trying to gain traction in a way that looked worse than a spooked cornered cat with nowhere to go. Bebop wasn't helping at all. He didn't come running to his aid like usual. What triggered him to open his eyes and focus a little was Bebop's voice saying, "Well, well, well, look what the Mother Ginger dragged in."

Then Jax finally noticed it wasn't a zombie that tackled him.

"ELLIE!" His face lit up like Christmas unlike the cautious way Mazzie had presented in Candy Land. "Ellie! You're here."

He pointed at Babyface too. He was smiling so big his eye was like slits and could barely be seen, so happy. He started hugging back.

When Bebop saw Babyface he stood up. Babyface started to smile. A genuine smile. It looked like he was coming in for a hug. Their whole damn family was dead. It was going to be okay this time.

Then he actually got the knuckle nudge. "Look at you actually living through this bullshit. Damn. There's a Beagle Holocaust out there and you're what I get?"

There was a time Babyface took it all and knew his place in the pack of Beagle Boys, but after everything he'd been through, he'd had about enough. The rest of the pack wasn't there to dogpile him if he barked back.

He took one glance to the air. He made up his mind and he charged his brother Beagle and started wailing on him. These two started a wrestling match that was a long time coming and long overdue. Every few jostles one would pin the other and say something snarky. While Bebop started with low blows like Wish it was you instead of Bouncer or insert name here type of jabs Babyface went in another direction when he finally got the upper hand. "Yeah, well while you're sitting here being a crybaby over who you didn't save, I was out there finding more Beagles. I was doing the footwork to start a new crew. I did what Ma Beagle told us to do not sit here on my ass doing nothing letting more of us die like you."

That one got Bebob too heated. He pulled a blade in anger. Babyface pulled his gun. They stared at each other and stared at each other.

Mazzie and Jax looked at each other. They both looked at Ellie. Everyone looked back and forth between each other and then suddenly both Beagles put their weapons down.

"Fine. Time." They'd say it simultaneously as if they both were counting down like it was a game. It was like they both knew if neither went for actually killing one another and they wouldn't because they were brothers that this was a Babyface won draw. He drew the weapon that caused the pause.

"Fine. Fuck." Bebop said sticking his blade in his back pocket. Then he'd start talking like nothing insane happened between them. "Who'd you find?"

"Black Arts. He's got some Beagle Babe with him. Calls her Nebby. Visited my Ma in prison, got some leads."

"Brandy? Zombies didn't take it over?"

"It's not in Nola, dope."

"Oh, right, right. Good thinking, little Beags." Then he rubbed the top of Babyface's hair as if he still wanted to infantilize him somehow even though he just got the drop on him not quite wanting to give up his position so clearly. He was the elder brother.

Mazzie looked over at Ellie as the drama unfoiled itself and then relaxed again. "So, everything's still the same."

Then she started grinning because at least if something was the same even though they knew nothing really was it was something to hold on to. Crazy as the boys being the boys was it; she didn't mind it being that something at all.

"Well, not everything." Jax blurted out.

Mazzie gave Jax a hard glare. She wasn't quite ready for all that, but then again why drag it out?

She waved them into the control room so they could start to understand what was different about Pleasure Island than before. They might not know it like the backs of their hands like Mazzie and Jax did, but they were going to start to understand this clearly the moment they got inside.

"Don't get your hands near them. Don't pet them or feed them."

"Pet or feed the donkeys?"

"No."

Then Mazzie pushed open the door as Babyface shook off his hair from Bebop rubbing it.

His cocky jaw fell wide open. His eyes were just the same. He couldn't decide if he wanted step backwards or run forwards. There inside the control room was the boat full of Beagles all chained to chairs including one of Mazzie and Jax's father's, Honest John.

An alive Gideon, the quietest one turned his head and said, "Oh 'ello there. I didn't expect guests. Do we needs more chains and brains or plates and sammiches? Which kinds of guests are you, dear?"

Then he threw a body part at the zombie Bouncer who started gobbling it down with no manners at all. Yes, Gideon was feeding the zombies.

This was only the beginning of the surprises inside.

“Yeah, but some half-pipes would be cool, some railings,” Ellie said, looking around. If it was themed like an amusement park, why couldn’t it have a skate park? “I’m sure the boys would love it.”

She knew that she was torn. And she knew that Babyface knew. And Mazzie, even if they hadn’t seen each other in a long time. It was a big decision - and she knew the clock was counting down. But for now - maybe just try to get through this night alive, and make sure that everyone else was as well.

She stayed back, out of the questioning that Mazzie was doing to Babyface, which proved that everyone here knew that she was on the fence. She kept her hand on the weapon, looking around for zombies, making sure there wasn’t anymore coming. Mazzie might be able to get the boys to stand down but no one controlled zombies.

But she looked back in time to see the punches to Babyface, and she couldn’t help giggling at that.

“I almost was,” Ellie admitted to Mazzie. “I was stuck inside of our base when everything went to Hell. The zombie virus in the air went away, thankfully, and then there was just the dancing. I duct taped myself to my skateboard and went to Babyface over in Halloweentown. I nearly wiped out so many times because my hips kept trying to hula-hoop or something, it was ridiculous.”

But then shes caught onto what Babyface had. Survivors. What were the chances - not many people knew about the island. Almost nobody knew about the island, actually. So how -

“Beagles?” She repeated, her eyes wide with disbelief. Of all the people - of course the Beagles would endure. There was so many of them, there was no way that all of them could be lost. "Like - Real-time Beagles?"

Big Time. Bouncer.

She put an arm around Babyface, hugging him close, rubbing up and down on his ribs. If there was any time to try to provide comfort, it was that moment, learning the absolute truth. At least he didn’t have to see them, though. Like how she had been pretty sure that she saw her parents shuffling about through Feral.

Her eyes followed up to the porch. Red hair. Looks like she was no longer the only Ginger in Feral.

“Son of a bitch,” She said, grinning. And then she started to run, flats hitting the pavement, going right up to Jax and tackling him down with a hug.

[darknight3904]

All Too Well

Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Summary: As tranquility settles over your life, you wrestle with your feelings for Joel.

Warnings: Langauge, Joel's not-so-secret porn magazine stash.

Word Count: 2k

Previous Part / Series Masterlist / Main Masterlist

June 2024

Peace. It was something so rare in this post-apocalyptic world you lived in now. Despite its rarity, it is something you experience regularly now.

Your days had become calm and almost uneventful. It'd been nearly a month since Adam had shown up in Jackson and Joel had killed The Walrus for you. Whoever The Walrus had as allies in Kansas never showed up. There were round-the-clock patrols still going but Tommy and Joel had both told you many times that they weren't going to show.

Despite the inherent peace, you were still on edge. You knew Adam was dead, you had watched Joel drag his body off into the woods. The Walrus had been tortured and killed yet here you were, still scared that they might appear and rip you away from Jackson in the middle of the night.

These fears had landed where you were now. Instead of staying in your own home like the grown adult you were supposed to be, you had taken up residence on Joel's couch. The past three nights had been spent tossing and turning on the soft cushions. You weren't sure what it was, perhaps fear, or maybe just general loneliness but you found yourself, lying beside him in his bed.

There is a full moon tonight, it shines through the curtains and illuminates the room. The soft creak of the floorboards under your feet alerts him to your presence.

"What's wrong?" He mumbles, barely awake

"I'm cold." You whisper from his doorway.

It's a half-baked excuse, both of you know it's a lie. It's happened three times now, you tiptoe upstairs from the couch and make up some excuse to wiggle your way into his bed.

"Let's get you warmed up then."

The duvet shifts and you shuffle across the room to slip under the covers. You turn on your side to face him, your head resting on his pillow.

"Warm?"

"Mmhm."

"Good."

Joel had yet to address this newfound closeness. You weren't sure what to make of it, all you knew was that you felt safer under his covers listening to his snores.

Luck was never something you could claim to be blessed with. Even at the end of the world, you were unlucky. Todays bad luck once again manifested in the form of the mouth of one spitfired teenage girl.

"So, are you and Joel y'know, together?"

The question has you nearly choking on the glass of water you were sipping on. Ellie was standing across from you in the kitchen, still in her pajamas asking the most embarrassing questions possible.

Joel sighs and plugs his coffee maker in, pressing the start button before turning around to look at Ellie.

"Quit askin' questions and go brush your teeth."

Ellie's footsteps disappear upstairs as she mumbles something under her breath. Joel passes you a steaming mug of coffee before speaking again,

"Got a late-night patrol tonight."

You nod. Late-night patrols meant that he'd be returning in the early hours of the morning, there was no point in waiting up for him to beckon you under the warm duvet of his bed.

"I'm working in the Greenhouse later, going to visit Maria and baby Cailey first."

Joel nods, "I can come by later. You're harvesting potatoes today right?"

"Yeah," You say, "But don't you wanna relax today? We'll have to dig all the plants up, harvest, and then reseed them."

Joel's mouth quirks up into a small smile, "I can think of nothin' more relaxing than digging in the dirt with you."

You roll your eyes and turn away to dig in the fridge for eggs, hiding your blush behind the door as you push a jar of jam out of the way. He was so flirtatious these days, it drove you crazy.

"I don't know what I should do..." You sigh

Baby Cailey coos at his mother as she places him into a small pack n' play someone had hunted down.

"Why not just embrace it?"

Maria made it seem so simple. Embracing the way Joel would flirt with you, it was easier said than done. Truthfully, you were scared. Scratch that you were fucking terrified. You were terrified that it would all be snatched away from you in the middle of the night. Terrified that Adam would rise from his grave in the forest and break into Joel's home in the middle of the night. You were terrified of Joel getting cold feet the way he did twenty some years ago.

"You're insane." You point out, leaning back into her sofa.

She shakes her head in disbelief, "I get it, you're scared."

God, it's like she was in your mind reading your thoughts.

"Look, when Tommy first started asking me out I was scared too. Hell, I avoided him for nearly half a year just because I was scared."

A smile spreads across your face. You remember those days, Tommy had been so distraught whenever Maria would magically disappear from the Tipsy Bison after he tried to approach her.

"We can't let fear rule our lives. In a world like this, we have to live life to the fullest." She says

"And you think by fawning over Joel, I'm living my life to the fullest?" You question

"I do, but don't you already do that?"

You scoff and avoid Maria's smug gaze, she certainly thought she had everything all figured out over there.

"Two weeks ago, you told me you loved his biceps." Maria points out

"I was drunk." You dismiss her comment with a wave of your hand

"Off one glass of wine? Didn't know you were such a lightweight." She smiles

"Yeah, well. I guess I'm getting old." You lie, you definitely weren't drunk.

That had been the day Joel had pushed the couch across the living room and then lifted the TV into a new corner so there was less of a glare when Ellie watched her movies during the daytime. Your jaw nearly hit the floor as you watched from your spot at the kitchen table. God the muscles on that man had to be illegal.

"I don't like Joel. Didn't like him when Tommy first told me about him, still don't really like him now." Maria admits

"Yet you're pushing us together?" You look at her like she's lost it.

"I want to see you happy though." She says earnestly, "Plus, he's my brother-in-law so I feel like that gives me some moral obligation to see that he's living a good life."

You groan and fiddle with a loose thread on the couch cushions.

"It also helps that you act all, well, giddy when he's around."

"I do not!" You say

"Sure you do. It's like your normal personality leaves the room and you're laughing and teasing Joel like you two are high school sweethearts."

You scoff and turn your attention to Cailey who smiles at you when you peer over the edge of the pack n' play. She's got big brown eyes and tufts of dark curly hair atop her head. You're pretty sure Maria had created her all on her own since it looked like Tommy's genes had just given up in the womb.

"She's got your eyes." You point out, turning the topic of conversation.

Maria smiles at the way you observe her baby, "She's got my everything. Tommy was hoping she'd look a bit like him."

"Why? He wants to curse a baby with a life of torture?" You tease

Maria laughs and gently kicks your shin as punishment for bad-mouthing her husband.

"Is she sleeping through the night yet?" You ask.

You don't know much about babies, most of your knowledge came from high school health class when an old teacher named Mr. Klein had droned on and on about how teen pregnancy was the devil reincarnate and that you'd all die if you didn't use condoms.

"If she was, you think I'd look like this?" Maria gestures to her mismatched outfit and unbrushed hair. Her eyes look a bit dull as she stares down at her baby. Truthfully though, even with her odd clothes and sleepless face, Maria looks good.

"I think you look fine." You muse, "Pretty even."

Maria scoffs, "Now you sound like Tommy."

"Well, at least he's right about something."

The greenhouse is humid today. You kneel in the dirt and pull at the tops of the potato plants, ready to reveal the harvest.

"Look at that view!"

You groan and sit back on your knees, your partner for the day is Janet, an older woman who seems to never keep her mouth shut. Her choppy white gray hairs glimmer in the sunlight as she checks the tomato plants. She has to be at least in her mid-70s yet she moved better than you some days.

"Knock it off." You huff in embarrassment

"I'm not the one with those jeans on." She muses, "You said Joel is coming by soon? You're gonna give him a heart attack like that!"

"You're so weird." You sigh plopping a nice-sized potato into the basket on your left

"I know what men think." Janet points to her temple and then to your ass, "Joel is going to lose his-"

You toss a handful of soil at her when the greenhouse door opens, and Joel steps in.

Janet sends you a sly wink as you and Joel kneel in the dirt together, unrooting potatoes beside each other. She also lewdly picks up an eggplant and shakes it in the air when Joel lifts the heavy basket with ease to dump it into a wheelbarrow. You roll your eyes, how has your life become like this?

After nearly three hours of digging in the dirt, you and Joel are on the way back to his home. Your shoulder brushes his and a tingle shoots down your spine. Even now, covered in dirt and stinking of sweat Joel Miller is devastatingly beautiful.

"You sure you're not too tired for patrol tonight?" You ask shyly

"I'll be fine." Joel assures you, "I wanted to give Ellie the house, she and her friend Dina are havin' some Star Wars marathon today."

You nod. You like Dina, she's nice and helps you clean the dishes whenever Ellie invites her over for dinner. Ellie seems to be more content talking the girl's ears off instead of actually scraping the leftovers into Tupperware bins.

"There's nothing worse than an adult hanging around a teenage girl hangout." You smile and elbow Joel's side gently

Joel looks over at you, taking in the wide grin on your dirt-smudged face. You sound like you're alluding to Ellie and Dina getting into trouble together.

"Well, now you're makin' me nervous." He huffs

"You should be." You tease, "You don't even wanna know what my friends and I were discussing at that age."

Joel shakes his head in disapproval, "Don't do that."

"Do what?" You laugh

"Tease me. Ellie isn't at home gigglin' over some...TigerBeat magazine filled with stupid pictures of Ralph Macchio or somethin'. "

"Or is she?" You over-exaggerate your gasp, "What if she got into your porn stash?"

You'd found it one day while Joel was off repairing something at the bar. Under his bed in a shoebox, you had pulled it out, wanting to sweep the dust bunnies from under the bedframe. And, as they say, curiosity killed the cat, before you knew it you were opening the shoebox to reveal three old porn magazines that had to have been from the 80s and 90s.

You had picked one of them up, it was clearly well-loved and flipped through it. Most of it was rather tame, at least compared to some of the stuff that had been on the internet before the fall. One dogeared page caught your eye, A man had a woman on top of him, legs on either side of his hips as she rode him. You couldn't help but notice the remarkable resemblance she bore to you.

"I don't have a porn stash." Joel scoffs, refusing to look at you all of a sudden, yup he was guilty.

"Then what's in the shoebox under your bed?" You ask innocently

Joel's ears have begun to go red as he keeps pace with you, "You're awful, y'know that."

"Don't be a prude." You laugh, "it's natural, Joel."

"Oh is it?" Joel suddenly looks at you, a glint of well, evil in his eye, "That mean you got a stash of your own, baby?"

It's your turn to blush now. Joel had just dubbed a new nickname on you. Baby. Baby. Fuck you liked, no loved the way it sounded coming off his lips. God, it was so him, calling you that.

"No, pervert." You scoff

"You're the one who brought it up, if anything that makes you the pervert." He teases

You huff and cross your arms over your chest, suddenly feeling vulnerable. How'd he turn this into a conversation to tease you? And that new nickname, fuck you wanted to climb right on top of him right here in the middle of Jackson. Instead, you send him a glare,

"You're so annoying."

"Thanks, baby."

Next Part

Ugh, they're so cute, I want to eat them.

My college semester started back up. I'm shaking in my boots and it's only syllabus week :(

Shout out to @heartpatch for inspiring me to introduce the baby nickname.

May I present, what I expect out of TLOU season 2:

Comment to be added to the tag list. This tag list is not chapter by chapter, I carry the tags over to each part.

Tags:

@lunaticgurly  @orcasoul  @snowlycanroc  @freythecrazyfae

@person-005 @greenwitchfromthewoods

@elli3williams @yawnzzzzzzzz @am-3-thyst  @concrete-jungleeee

@cherrypieyourface  @kanyewestest @bambisweethearts

@sarahhxx03 @loveisacowboyyy @amyispxnk @lou-la-lou @dancinglotusbud @superblyspeedydragon @heartpatch

[miwiheroes]

Dropping Byler Evidence Every Day Until Season 5

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ Day 18: Mike's Bedroom Scene . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

Everyone knows this scene, everyone here LOVES this scene (or they better love it). It's so ripe for analysis in every single way, not even just for byler, but for things that happen later on in the season. I think shots like this are extremely thought out. They chose a wide angle shot to show you Mike's bedroom for a reason. They also showed you this bedroom right after seeing El's, to show the contrast between their two lives and how they view each other.

I've already talked about this contrast between their two rooms and the fact that Mike has nothing from El in his room in this post.

1. Rainbow Letter + Closet

I want to talk about something else before the glaringly obvious queer coding first: and that is the fact that El has her own stationary specific for writing Mike's notes, while it is canon that Mike just writes his letters to El on some scrap pieces of paper, showing the unequal amounts they are putting into their relationship:

Anyways, back to El's letter to Mike having literal rainbows on it. For El, this is some clear foreshadowing for her being in the rainbow room, and we can all agree on that right?

So if we can agree on that, then I think we should agree that it could also be true this is queer coding for Mike. It's the first thing you see in this scene, even before you see a shot of Mike himself. Also the fact that the next shot of the scene is Mike next to the open closet with the light on, kind of implies or foreshadows his story being tied to queerness for the rest of the season.

Having the light on in the closet is also to draw your attention toward it. I've talked before about how often in film it is to use light to mean truth, meaning this would imply that being in the closet is the truth that Mike is hiding, since a lot of this scene is taken up by the fact El's lying to him. So what does he have to hide? The set designers utilise light in this scene very carefully, which I will touch on in the later sections <3

2. Posters

This is such a famous piece of evidence that I feel like I don't really need to say anything here lmaooo, like we can see in multiple different shots that instead of having posters of literally anything else on his walls, he has posters of men. Specifically buff men (or a dragon if u wanna be pedantic guys).

This seems so on the nose that it has to be queer coding, just like the scene where Mike goes to the wrestling gym while on his search for a DND replacement for Lucas, and stuff like this has been used on many different queer coded characaters in media for a long time.

I've heard people argue that there is also a girl character in the Conan the Barbarian poster, but honestly, if you watch the film you would know why this is not a great thing to say or equate women to lmao... Basically this film does not shy away from the fact that men in this time period treated women like property so I'd be careful saying that.

If you want to go past talking about the fact this CtB poster is just a poster of a buff man, I'd say that it could symbolise Mike's need to be normal and fit into the "male role" in society that we saw in S3. To be honest, if I saw a guy with this poster, I'd.....run, girl RUN

So anyways, not only is there one poster of a buff guy, there is another. The one on the left is a poster designed by Rick Ruhman, whose other posters can be seen in the show, like in Reefer Rick's house. Buff dragon poster you'll always be famous <3

This is two instances already of Mike being associated with buff men, um, and to be honest that should be enough, but it's funny that there are two other instances of this happening in the show. Another is literally in episode 1 of S4, where Mike goes to the wrestling gym, and another is when he mentions Superman in relation to El for some reason, rather than calling her 'Supergirl' like Argyle does 10000 times.

This is a pattern, everyone. And can be compared to the fact that other male characters who were around the same age as him have posters of women surrounding them in different scenes.

In Steve's room: he was 17

In Lucas's scene with the other basketball guys: he is same age as Mike

3. His Noticeboard

thanks to @runninguplenorahills for this very good photo haha

First of all, want to establish that the lamp is placed next to this notice board on purpose, in order to draw your attention towards it, just like his closet earlier on (and later, you shall see). So you are meant to view this notice board as having little hints on it.

And there are! Not just towards his queerness. and they are pretty much confirmed to be foreshadowing for some of the plot points in S4, so other stuff in his room could also be foreshadowing , but for his queerness too.

These Garbage Pail Kids cards clearly foreshadow some events of S4. I think Heavin Steven may have something to do with Steve literally biting the head off of a demobat, which makes sense, or it could be about him randomly pouring his heart out to Nancy in the caravan. Evil Eddie obviously foreshadows that everyone thinks Eddie is the head of an evil cult and has murdered a woman, which is what's happening in the card. Live Mike is either a reference to Eddie playing his guitar later on, or it could be a reference to Mike's monologue where there are many lightning strikes at the most interesting times... Finally, Mad Max's card shows a brain being outside someone's head, foreshadowing her mind visiting Vecna's mindscape and her being braindead by the end of the season.

Also on his notice board are:

Escape Fun City: reference to California

Pizza Sticker: foreshadowing his time in the surfer boy pizza van and the pizza place.

Will's Drawings: obviously showing that he places more care in Will's drawings than El's letters which I talk about on one of my previous posts. He also still has Will's drawings in his basement.

So how is this byler evidence? Well, I really think this proves just how much thought and care went into making Mike's room foreshadow some later plot points, because the audience can hardly see what's going on here, but it still foreshadows stuff. This leads me onto....

4. The One Way Sign ;)

This one is a classic, and if you don't know this already, then I guess you must be new here hello

I just want you guys to think for a second about the intentionality of this. And I want you to imagine people setting up his room for filming. Because it wasn't just created out of nowhere, people genuinely thought about each decision. Imagine this just being written off as a coincidence, because let's lay out some facts here:

A light has been set up in Mike's closet

That light has been pointed so that it is a beam towards Mike

The closet door has been opened for no practical reason

A one way sign has been ordered, put on the wall in this specific spot.

A one way sign does not foreshadow any other plot points in S4.

I am baffled when I talk to people and they don't think this type of stuff is intentional. It's a blink and you miss it hint, yes, but those types of hints are supposed to be subtle so that when you look back on them, they make a lot of sense.

Overall, this shot of Mike's room is the perfect introduction to his character this season and makes the most sense. There is no other way that he could have been introduced in S4, in my opinion. It's subtlety is only for people who care enough to look, but it heavily queercodes him nonetheless. Just because they're small, doesn't mean they are insignificant.

[atleastpleasetelephone]

Gentle on my mind - Chapter 13

Initially set in 1967 when Elvis is filming Clambake. Feeling miserable and trapped after the Colonel banishes Larry and the spiritual texts, Elvis invites Gloria to keep him company through the last five days of filming. Gloria is an aspiring movie editor and more importantly she's a lot of fun. Will she be what Elvis needs to get him out of the depressive funk he's in?

Catch up with the other parts here.

Many thanks to @sissylittlefeather being my beta reader on this one.

A/N: We're still in 1975...

Pairing: Elvis x OC - Gloria, a budding film editor.

Word count: 2.4K

TWs: Very little. Angst, fluff.

Gloria is nervous about her kids meeting Elvis for the first time, but, as she sits on the bed watching him get changed into his fourth outfit option, she realises not as nervous as he is. She smiles at him in his version of casual wear - a navy shirt and pants, with one of his stage jackets over the top and a large gold belt. 

“Whaddya think?” He turns towards her, fiddling with the bracelet he just put on. 

She steps forward, putting her arms around his neck and looking up into his face. “Gorgeous. Don’t know how I’m going to keep my hands off you.”

The slightly unsure expression that had been on his face when he’d first turned towards her from staring at his reflection in the long mirror on the wall turns into a sunshine smile. He gives her a quick kiss and then they both realise the time, again, and head downstairs. 

The kids are shy when they first arrive, Elvis is big and sparkly and intimidating. But it takes no time at all for him to be on the floor, play-wrestling them both at once, and the shyness melts away completely. Gloria and Patricia chat for a while as they watch him interacting with Corey and Jackie, exchanging smiles with one another at how much of a natural he is with them. As if he’s known them forever. 

Elvis has taken his jacket off, and is sat on the floor panting with exertion as Jackie leans against his arm and Corey sits between his legs, his little hands on Elvis’ not insubstantial belly. 

“I surrender!” He exclaims, his hands in the air. “Ya win. I can’t fight no more.” 

He closes his eyes and sticks his tongue out of the side of his mouth, head flopping to one side as his arms flop down comedically. 

Corey’s little hands slap his belly repeatedly. “You’re not dead! You’re pretending!”

Elvis immediately recovers, opening his eyes and staring right at the little boy. “I’m not dead…” he leans forward, making his eyes menacing and screwing his face up. “...I’m THE UNDEAD! RAAAAAH!” He launches himself forward and Corey screams. 

Elvis wraps him up in a big hug and then giggles right in his ear, before starting an onslaught of tickling. He feels another hand on his arm and looks over to see Jackie sitting there, pouting. She’s not much over a year older than her brother, and she doesn’t like being left out. And being quieter, she often is. Elvis chuckles and pulls her into his lap too. Then he feels a hand on his head and looks up to see Gloria standing there. 

“Hey,” he says. 

“Hi. I was feeling left out.”

“Oh. You want something?”

“A kiss.”

She leans down and he moves a hand to hold her face as he presses a kiss to her lips. Both kids immediately start screaming. 

“Mama!”

“Mama kissed Elvis!”

“Elvis loves Mama!”

When they eventually stop just shouting the first thing they think of, Corey looks up at his mom and asks her a serious question. 

“Is Elvis our new daddy?”

Jackie frowns. “What about our real daddy?”

“Elvis is real!”

Gloria has been thinking about this a lot. She didn’t have to kiss Elvis in front of them, but she had. And now she could make something up that would be easier for them to understand than the truth. But she wants them to understand that life is complicated sometimes, so she decides to talk to them about it.

“Hey. Shush for a minute,” she tells them, waiting for quiet before she continues. “I want to explain this to you. Are you going to listen?”

They both grumble but they sigh and nod and try to listen even as they continue to squirm on Elvis’ lap. 

“Yes Mama.”

“Okay.”

“Alright.” She looks down at their upturned, expectant faces and swallows. “Yes, I love Elvis. And… I think he loves me.” She pauses there and looks at him briefly. She doesn’t want to put words in his mouth. 

“Of course I do, honey,” he replies, craning his neck to stare up at her like he’s the third kid, sitting there and waiting for an explanation. 

She smiles, another of those smiles that stays on her lips and doesn’t reach her eyes. She knows she’s about to say something he won’t want to hear, and part of her wonders if his birthday is the worst possible time to do this. But she’s started now. 

The kids are still looking up at her, rapt. 

“But Elvis lives in Memphis, and we live in San Francisco. And your daddy lives in San Francisco too, and he loves you both a lot. So even though Elvis and I love each other, we can’t live together, because I’d be taking you away from your daddy and that wouldn’t be fair. And Elvis has a very busy life, you both know that. He has to travel all over the country, singing to people.”

“We could go with him?” Jackie suggests, hopefully. 

“You have school, and you know that too.”

Jackie sighs and looks down at the floor sadly. Corey looks sad too. He thinks for a while and then looks up again at his mother, with a face full of hope. 

“Can we visit though? I want to visit! I love Daddy Elvis! Mama! Please!” He’s shouting by the end, and punctuating his speech with exasperated slaps of his hands to Elvis’ belly. Elvis winces, but makes no attempt to stop him. 

Gloria starts to feel her resolve failing in the face of her begging child. She also feels her belief that this was the best course of action starting to falter too. She shouldn’t have kissed him in front of her children. This is not turning out the way she had hoped, although why she thought two small children could deal with such complicated emotions without yelling she’s not sure. 

“Corey, please. I know you’re having a lot of big feelings right now, but you can’t take them out on Elvis. C’mere.”

She picks him up and holds him in her arms and he groans and then bursts into tears. 

“It’s not fair!”

No, Gloria thinks, it really isn’t fair. 

“Son, I think if your mama says it’s okay, I would love ta have ya all here. But only if she says it’s okay.” Elvis clenches his jaw, briefly gritting his teeth before he says the next part. “Your daddy needs ta see ya both too.”

Corey moves his head from where it’s been hanging over Gloria’s shoulder to right in front of her face, and puts a hand on either cheek. “PLEASE MAMA!” Tears streak his face, bright red from all the crying. 

“Shhh. I… we could probably visit…” she replies, feeling almost defeated at this point. 

Corey yells “YAY!” directly in her face and throws his arms around her neck. She strokes his back, absent-mindedly trying to soothe him. Then she looks down at Jackie, still on Elvis’ lap, noticing the sad expression on her face. 

“Jackie?” She asks. The little girl looks up. “What’s wrong?”

For such a small girl she manages a very big sigh in response. Elvis cuddles her close to him and repeats Gloria’s question. “What’sa matter, honey?”

“What about real daddy?” She finally asks, quietly. “He’ll be sad if we’re here all the time.”

“We won’t be here all the time,” Gloria explains, patiently. “We’ll just come sometimes, in the holidays.”

Jackie frowns for a while and then her face sort of flattens back out again. “Oh. Okay then.”

There’s a silence and Gloria starts to think this might be the end of the complicated conversation and she might be able to get this birthday celebration back on track. She carefully puts Corey back down and strokes the top of his head, leaning over to do the same to Jackie. 

Her sister has been watching the whole scene with some interest, and decides maybe now is her time to chip in and give Gloria and Elvis a little time without the children. 

“Come on you two, let’s see if we can find some food, shall we?” She looks down at Elvis. “So long as that’s okay by Elvis, anyway. It is his house, after all.”

Elvis smiles, picking Jackie up off his lap and placing her carefully on her feet, before standing up himself. “Sure is, honey.”

Gloria is relieved to see them go, and grateful to her sister for taking them. That whole situation had been emotionally exhausting. She looks over at Elvis, expecting him to have something to say about it, half-wondering if it will cause a row. 

He moves close to her, then pulls her into his arms, wrapping her in a big hug. “It’s okay, honey,” is all he says, and he feels her whole body relax. 

He kisses the top of her head. It hurts, to know that she doesn’t think there’s a future for them. That they won’t all live together. Of course it does. But she’s here now, and he doesn’t want to spoil the time he has with her. Or the time he has with Corey and Jackie. He’s grown attached to them almost immediately, and he wants them to stay as long as possible, Gloria too. For once he keeps his impulse to anger and upset in check. 

***

The rest of the day passes in a busy and happy blur. Priscilla drops Lisa-Marie off, and various other Memphis Mafia members appear with wifes and children throughout the day. There’s only a little drinking, but there’s a lot of food and, most importantly where the kids are concerned, there’s a big cake. Elvis doesn’t care so much about the cake, or the presents that people have bought him (he likes them, but they’re never quite right), or even everyone singing happy birthday. But he loves his friends being here, and that the house is full of life, children laughing and crying, adults telling stories, singing and even a bit of dancing. Graceland is truly alive with activity in a way it hasn’t been for a long time. And he has Gloria to thank for that. He makes a mental note to thank her properly later. 

***

Gloria tucks the kids in, explaining for at least the third time what to do and where to go if they wake up worried in the middle of the night. Jackie is almost asleep already, not interested in irrelevant information as she’s slept through since she was a baby, but Corey keeps asking and worrying about it being too dark in the room without a nightlight. Wondering what’s taking so long, Elvis walks down the corridor to the room and pokes his head in. 

“Daddy Elvis!” Corey exclaims, in a way that is really not conducive to sleep. 

“What’re ya still doin’ awake, son?” Elvis asks, his voice low and soft as he comes into the room to kneel down next to the bed beside Gloria. 

Corey frowns. “It’s too dark.”

“He doesn’t have his nightlight,” Gloria says, by way of explanation. 

“Oh. Hang on a minute.”

Elvis disappears, then reappears a few minutes later with a ladybug nightlight. “Here ya go. Got a bunch for Yisa.”

He plugs it in and Corey exclaims again with joy, holding his arms out wide for a hug. Elvis leans into it with a smile. Then he walks over to the other bed and gives Jackie a kiss goodnight, not wanting her to feel left out. Remembering the way she pouted earlier, when she had less attention from him, being quieter and less demanding than her brother. 

Finally Elvis and Gloria manage to leave the room, switching the light off and closing the door softly behind them. They walk back to Elvis’ room in silence, and then when they get inside she sits down on the bed with an exhausted sigh. 

“Oh my god. Thank you for getting that light. I thought he’d never let me leave.”

Elvis sits down next to her and puts an arm around her, pulling her against him. “They’re gorgeous honey. A pair a great kids.”

She laughs against his shoulder. “You want them?”

He grins. “Only if I can have you too. You’re incredible, Glory.”

“Hmmm. Thanks,” she mumbles into his jacket, blushing at the compliment. 

“I mean it. Lookin’ after those two, makin’ them into such good kids. After everythin’ that happened with Roger…”

She puts an arm around his waist. “Thanks. That means a lot, El.”

“An’ everythin’ you’ve done fer me. Would’ve been locked up in here on my own today if it wasn’t for you. Yer so special, Glory.”

Gloria can feel tears pricking at the corners of her eyes at his kind words. “I hope you had a good birthday,” she sniffs. 

He pats his lap expectantly and she shifts to straddle him, a stray tear escaping down her cheek. It’s been a tiring, emotional day. 

“I had a wonderful day, thank you.”

His hands cup her face gently. 

“Even after what I said to the kids?”

“Even after that.”

“I love you, Elvis.”

“I love you too, baby. C’mon. Let’s get ready for bed.”

He gently wipes the tear from her face with his thumb, then helps her off his lap again. They curl up together in bed in pyjamas, her hand on his belly. She’d seen the newspapers in the trash this morning with headlines like “Elvis, Fat and Forty,” and her heart had broken a little. She likes the extra weight on him, always has. Her nose presses against his sideburn and it tickles her a little. She kisses along his jaw, thinking this is the most relaxed she’s been with him since their time on Clambake. The least pressed for time. 

“I can stay, if you want?” She says, suddenly. “For the rest of the week. The kids will have to go back in a couple of days for school, but I could stay. Pat said she’d look after them for a while… I’d have to check but I’m pretty sure she’d be okay with it.”

His head turns quickly. “For the rest of the week?” He’s not expecting it and he can feel his throat closing up with emotion. It’s been so long since he’s been able to spend this much time with her. 

“If…if you want.”

“I can’t believe you have to ask that, Glory. Of course I want.”

She smiles. :”That’s settled, then. If Pat tries to say no you can give her a Cadillac.”

***

Taglist:

Please let me know if you want to be added or removed:

@vintagepresley @arg-xoxo @from-memphis-with-love @msamarican @blursedblegh @returntopresley @eapep @everythingelvispresley @i-r-i-n-a-a @sissylittlefeather @arrolyn1114 @jhoneybees @cattcb @polksaladava @lookingforrainbows @jkdaddy01 @ccab @epthedream69 @lustnhim @elvisslut @pomtherine @that-hotdog @ladelinee @angschrof @fairybloodsucker @deltafalax @makethemorning @elviswhore69 @ilovequeen978 @wildhorseinkansas @pocketfulofpresley @dkayfixates @iloveelvisss @argangelbornxoxo @presleyhearted @lvrdollep

[softambrollins]

"if you're mad or upset at an angle then they got the reaction they want" umm we're adults lol i think we can discern if we're upset by a fictional situation on a fictional show or if we're disappointed by the writing not making any sense or being bad.

[turtleblogatlast]

Shockingly underrated thing about Leo is that he’s legitimately charming when he wants to be?

He’s the Faceman! He’s persuasive! That’s not just some random title he gave himself with no backing to it. People will listen to him. Even if they think he’s being annoying or if they’re upset at him, people listen to him anyway! There’s a reason his bros push him out front to talk to people, and when this happens, that talking nearly always works.

Moreover, Leo knows people. He looks at them and takes into account how they act and what they’re like as he makes his way through the conversations. It’s easy to forget this aspect of Leo’s character because he only brings it out when he really needs (read: wants) to, but it really is a notable part of him that always love to see.

And I say charm in particular because he has a knack for not only getting people to pay attention, but for getting people to stay and listen to what he has to say.

[gingermintpepper]

I saw it in your tag game post that you're also fond of the Apollo-Heracles conflict 👀 for a myth that appears in only a couple of sources, it sure has a lot of presence in the vase paintings (no seriously, everytime I think I've seen the last of it, I find ten more)

SO do you have any favorites among the paintings that represent this story??

OMG OMG THIS ASK IS A GIFT. IT IS A GIFT THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR LETTING ME TALK ABOUT THIS

I also think it's extremely interesting that it's a story so popularly portrayed by vase paintings and in such a variety of ways!! It's certainly one of the stories that gets left out of written compilation of Heracles' legend a bit (which is a shame, I think it's a fantastic story) but Apollo had a very peculiar relationship with Heracles in general that I just kind of find amazing (and very, very funny).

Apollo is not a god with any legitimate grudge against Heracles, but he does argue with the mortal a bit like he argues with his favourite brothers 😂Part of why I love the story of Apollo and Heracles fighting over the tripod so much is that it is such a little brother thing for Heracles to be upset with the proclamation his elder brother has given him and so, he throws a great fit, taking up the chair and declaring that he'll just give himself a better prophecy! And Apollo, instead of being a marginally professional big brother, decides to fight him for it until their father has to break up their cat-fight. Like was that not just the plot of the Homeric Hymn to Hermes? Is this not exactly how Apollo treated Hermes when he was a child and now those two are inseparable? 💀

Because of this, my favourite vase paintings tend to be the ones that highlight the personal squabbling between Apollo and Heracles the most. There are some very elaborate ones that have the full host of them - Athena, Heracles, Apollo, Artemis, usually a dog and a doe, I've even seen a couple that had birds and plants etched on them, but the simplest ones that show Heracles about to bonk Apollo with his club out of frustration or depict Heracles nyooming away from Apollo while Apollo (presumably) yells curses about how he's going to fling Heracles head first into Tartarus for daring to take his things? Yeah, those are the premium big brother/little brother things I'm looking for.

(Photo. Marie-Lan Ngyuen)

(Photo. Museo Claudio Faina)

Also the one in the Theoi.com archives is a real classic - perfect energy.

[specialgradefckr]

AWHHHH ty for the tag!! i know i've got soooo many wips i wanna see from you heheheh... omg god i STILL have to check out some stuff XD life really does get away from you sometimes

i'll pass on the tag to @eevwrites and @infinitatis-ink i know you bitches got stuff in drafts. show us the goods. gimme. sample.

hhhhh... the forbidden texts... some of which have gone untouched for like. an entire year almost.

but i have some BESPOKE lines in some of my drafts. i swear to god. some of these are absolutely WILD sjhdflghdg i still love them even after months and months~

from my final heatwave fic, omega!gojo getting sex ed entirely from porn:

Satoru had always liked the idea of getting knotted. Like, what omega didn’t? You were his best friend, and you could confirm you liked the idea, too. The two of you had talked all about it – about everything, once you’d both presented and helped each other out through your first heats. The moment you’d reluctantly shown him your collection of knot toys, he’d ordered some for himself. You had to wrestle with him to keep him from borrowing one to try out, complaining that you didn’t trust him at all to sanitize it properly, and then there was that one time you and he were both in heat at the same time- Anyways, Satoru knew he wanted to get knotted. He just hadn’t found the right alpha to do it with yet. But now he has one, and now he’s finally going to get knotted, like he always wanted. So why, when Suguru finally grinds against his ass, does he feel ice in his gut? He tries to hide how he stiffens up but Suguru notices. Fuck. Didn’t it hurt if they didn’t fuck when they got hard? Like, in the porn, the alpha stepbrother always begs his omega stepsister to help him out just this once, and she agrees because she knows that his knot will be painful and hard for hours if he doesn’t cum inside some hot omega pussy. (Listen, he’s not proud of that one. He’d only clicked on it in the first place because the stepsister looked like… someone he knew.)

this fic i started in like. may of last year or something wild. it's such a fun idea, it's SO full of funny moments:

“This is what I looked like in high school. We dated a whole year, you know, I can prove it. The pictures are still up on his profile.” Piercing, bloodred eyes dart from the picture, and back to you. Fair enough. You looked like crap in high school, and you definitely look a lot better now. “I must have had a pretty fun personality, no?” His mouth opens up, but before he says anything, you put your face right up in front of his, eyes locked, smiling deviously. “Or I must have been a complete fucking freak in the sheets.” He barks out a laugh, and you know you’ve got him. Foot in the door. “You’d suck my dick to get a date to this stupid reunion?” Sukuna didn't take you for that sort of woman, but the teasing question falls from his lips so naturally. “I would suck your dick to make Satoru Gojo feel inferior,” You correct. Where have you been all of my life?

and this one is another super fucked up delicious wip of mine:

“Yo! Suguru!” He calls out cheerfully, dragging either twin by the hair. Their mouths are duct taped shut. “These are yours, right?” “Which one do you love more?” His eyes shine a painful white-blue. Like glacial ice in the sunlight. Suguru's breath leaves him. “What?” “Nanako and Mimiko, right? Which one do you love more? You can keep that one, and I’ll kill the other.” Ice in his lungs. His breath. He had never. Never imagined that Satoru would. “They’re innocent – they’re just girls – ” “Your girls killed two women. They’ve got two lives to pay for their crimes with, but out of respect for our long friendship, I’m letting you keep one. Isn’t that nice of me?” “Two monkeys?” He snarls helplessly. “Monkeys to you. To me, they were women. And I say that killing a woman is a crime worthy of death. Choose now or watch them both die.” It’s not a bluff. Suguru can feel him gathering his cursed energy, he can curse faster than Suguru could even dream of stopping him.

silly wip tag game!◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜

show us a paragraph, line or dialogue out of context from your current wip[s]. if you aren't a writer, feel free to share one from the last fic you read! ♡

these are from three different wips, the last one is something i wrote in december 2024 (those who remember me talking about nanami and a desi reader...yea), and the second one is something my aashi (@fushitoru) has been asking for since the beginning of time [hint: salaryman choso]

— npt: @gojocon @norikuna @sonnytoru @starmapz @aishi-toru @baepsays @gojosoups @indiewritesxoxo @madamechrissy + anyone else

[highfunctioningfleshrule63]

may be i will make some cagecope something or other. like ol times

[age-of-moonknight]

“Three Moments,” Vengeance of the Moon Knight (Vol. 2/2024), #8.

Writer: Jed Mackay; Penciler and Inker: Devmalya Pramanik; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit