#i know i said i would try to write out him going through with the actual changes but I dunno guys I'm not really feeling it
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▗▬̸̎͞/̄͆̅ ̎ ̎̿͞͞͞͞͞͞͞͞ι̚━─ ⠀ NYCTOPHILLIAC ⠀ ⠀ 𑄼ల۫ thanos / reader
getting caught up in thanos’s web was a mistake, especially when it interfered with your sleep.
𓂂 ͜ᩘ ̵̼͓̥͒̾͘𑣿 ⠀ TAGS unconsensual voyuerism (thanos & reader have sexual relations in her bed while everyone is asleep. even though they are asleep, i still put this warning because i know some people can get uncomfortable). ooc thanos (first time writing for him). oral sex (fem. receiving). porn no plot. mentions of past sexual relations. fingering. dirty talk. unrealistic expectations of quiet sex(?). overuse of pet names (senorita, mama, etc.) etc.
𓂂 ͜ᩘ ̵̼͓̥͒̾͘𑣿 ⠀ NOTES please heed the warning above as i would hate to make anyone uncomfortable while reading this fic. with that said please enjoy and i apologize for any grammar mistakes or typos.
Despite different games being assigned each day, it all felt the same — as if you had just stepped inside this odd room, surrounded by strangers that held far too many similarities with you. You couldn’t count the amount of times you flinched or teared up as you watched and heard bullets tear people apart, how their strangled cries escaped in a last ditch effort to somehow convince the ruthless guards to spare them. You nearly screamed yourself when blood hit your cheek, tainting the already sweaty area — which you gingerly cleaned up the moment you got time to.
You somehow survived, in just the nick of time too. You wondered if you had any right to be happy for your victory, or you should be remorseful for all the lives lost today. You pondered it for a complete moment before deciding doing so was useless, and not impertinent to your current situation.
Getting out with enough money was of the upmost importance, nothing more and nothing less.
Which is why you were quick to settle into bed the moment the opportunity arose, slipping out of your socks and jacket, pulling the blanket up over yourself, and shutting your eyes. The world around you seemed to cease — aside from the old man’s snoring beside you — your body melting into the mattress. Sleep was the only comfort you could afford to cling to in this situation, anything else was an unnecessary distraction.
Including the one that stood infront of you, taking form as a purple-haired devil.
You never intended to get entangled with any of the other contestants. You could smile and cheer together, but it wasn’t a secret how quickly that relationship could turn sour. Mixing any type of deeper attachments just seemed like a bad idea.
But you fucked up horribly, one thing leading to another, with you in the arms of a man named Thanos, who said just the right words at the time.
You promised yourself that one time was it, you wouldn’t slip up again. You couldn’t afford to slip up anyway.
“Thanos.. go away.” You murmured, courteous of the other contestants around you. You wondered if the two of you were the only ones awake.
Through the dimmed room you could spot Thanos tilting his head, elbow pressing against your bed as he leaned closer.
“C’mon don’t be like that.. just checking on you.”
You rolled your eyes, growing more frustrated by the minute. You desperately wanted sleep- actually, you needed it. You refused to suffer the next morning, especially since your life was literally on the line. You adjusted your pillow, basically staring daggers into the man.
“I’m fine, now, go to your own bed—“
“And.. I’m also cold.”
You blinked rapidly, nearly slapping that stupid smile right off his face. You decided to turn your back to him, ignoring that soft sound of disapproval he released.
“Wear your jacket or something.. hell— steal your friend’s blanket. Just let me sleep.”
You chose to ignore the second sound he released, which seemed to be an unusually pitiful whine, mixed with an obnoxious groan. You wanted to tell him off for his volume, but decided not to— trying to seem as stern as possible so he could finally leave you alone.
But Thanos wasn’t the type to let up, something you quickly learned the moment you met him. Seeing as his fingers began to graze your blanket, rising closer just so his lips were hovering over your ear.
“But you’re right here.. can’t we share some warmth until morning? You wouldn’t want me to freeze, right?”
Thanos’s words were tempting, as usual. Whether you liked to admit it or not, he knew just what to say. Which is why you called him a devil, a sickening demon with that silver tongue.
You bit the inside of your cheek, desperately trying to fight mind over matter. Not only was this bad for your sleep, you were also at risk for breaking some unknown rule. And if you got shot over cuddling, you would definitely haunt this place like a vengeful spirit.
But in the end you gave in, the reason fleeting at the moment. You could only focus on the fact he would hopefully shut up when he got what he wanted. So, wordlessly, you brought up the blanket behind you; hearing his small giddy voice as he climbed in with you.
At least the man was nice enough to allow most of the blanket to cover you, the rest of your exposed self covered by his larger frame. Thanos made quick work of wrapping his arm around your waist, tugging you closer to him as his face found your neck.
“You have to leave before morning.”
Whether acknowledging you or not, the man just let out a hum, lips treading across your warm skin in the process. With a shiver you attempted to focus on sleep, admitting to yourself that the extra warmth was comforting. It also allowed you to truly relax, knowing your back was covered— literally.
Your hand found the back of his, fingers spreading along it as your eyes settled shut. You felt your self slipping in slowly, body growing heavier as that relaxation began to reach its peak.
Only to tumble down the moment you felt a thumb play at the waistband of your pants.
“Thanos..”
“Hm?”
You slowly turned your head, tight-lipped and squinting at him through the darkness. “Don’t fucking hm, me— what are you doing?”
The shit-eating grin that developed was telling, his thumb now slithering under your shirt and rubbing small circles into your skin.
“Not a thing.. yet.”
“We’re supposed to be sleeping!”
The man was quick to raise his free hand, placing a taunting finger to his lips. “Don’t wake the others Señorita, that’ll be just plain rude.” The circles on your skin continued, Thanos closer as his lips brushed against your own yet didn’t fully touch.
“This will help you sleep better. Erasing alll your worries in the blink of an eye.” He breathed, eyes flicking low as if attempting to see beneath the blanket. Instead his hand did the seeing for him, fingers breaching your pants and underwear; tips stroking your soft cunt. He couldn’t help the little twitch of a smile the moment he felt you release a strangled breath, using two long fingers to spread you open to his hand.
And when your lips parted to speak, his own covered them; a gentle kiss that caused your mind to grow dizzy. You couldn’t help your legs spreading, hand wrapping around Thanos’s wrist the moment you felt him at your clit. He rolled his thumb so perfectly, applying delicious pressure to the little bud that caused you to see stars.
The moment you needed to breathe you regretted leaving his lips, seeing as you struggled to keep your voice down. He wasn’t even touching you much yet here you were, panting and releasing the softest moan. With a quick raise of your hand, you covered your mouth— teeth biting into the flesh the moment you felt a finger slowly sink into your wetness.
“Wish I could see..” The soft comment made you groan softly, hips rising the moment he began to piston his finger. Within moments a second was joining, scissoring you open and plunging deeper then your own fingers could. Your eyebrows knitted close, the pain of your bite washing away with each thrust of his digits.
“Thanos.. please..”
“Oh no.. keep your voice to yourself— I wouldn’t want anyone else to hear how pretty you sound.”
As usual his words held such a teasing tone, face moving back to your neck to kiss and bite gently. Even with his small request the man wasn’t making the situation any easier, especially when his thumb moved right back to your sensitive clit; rubbing those same dizzy inducing circles.
You felt way too good right now, your body practically shaking with how much you struggled to keep in. The thought of anyone waking up right now with you in this state — under the mercy of a certain purple-haired, tattooed rapper — was a thought you couldn’t even imagine without your heart pounding with anxiety.
The best thing to do would be to push him off before things progressed. You hadn’t a clue how far he wanted to take this, nor did you think it would end in time for the lights to cut on. And Thanos wasn’t a creep, he would listen to you the moment you expressed actual discomfort from the situation. But you weren’t, that pain you felt all day, that anguish; did truly wash away in seconds just from the flick of his fingers.
The thrusts against your velvety, soaked walls were perfect— your eyes rolling to find your skull the moment the ferocity increased. A metallic taste invaded your mouth from how bad you were biting yourself, but you didn’t care; it was a concern for morning [Name], not horny [Name] who was currently being cared for by the hottest contestant in this god forsaken place.
“Oh, all this clenching— you’re close aren’t you? Can barely get my fingers out.”
The smile in his speech was obvious, breath fanning against your skin as he urged you more and more; curling his fingers just right to hear your muffled sounds peak into a small squeal.
Your nails dragged across his tattooed hand, feeling it flex with each movement of his fingers. Your mind was growing cloudy, barely being able to register the words that were being pressed right against your ear.
“How about I get a taste, huh? Wanna come all in my mouth, mama.. it’ll be such an easy clean up.”
Before you could even think to speak Thanos was pulling his hand out from within you. You had little time to protest when you felt him grabbing your blanket, pulling it over his body as he crawled down your own. Your eyes slowly widened, realizing his words and actions; a new sheen of sweat finding your skin. Your nerves were on fine at this point, inner mind screaming to tell him to do anything else but that.
However, the moment you felt him pulling down your pants and his lips finding your pretty cunt, all hope was lost. The back of your head quickly found your pillow, hand going right back to your mouth to bite down even harsher than before. His tongue exited his mouth in a long stride, gliding across your wet center, and parting you easily.
Thanos created similar ministrations with the tip of his tongue like his thumb, circling your bud and slowly pulling it between his lips. There, he began to suck, the sound noisy but muffled by your blankets and other’s snoring.
Muffled gasps pushed against your skin, hips rising and legs closing around his head; bringing him even closer to you. The peak that was steadily approached seemed to pick up speed far too quickly, your mind turning to mush.
No more were you number so-so, victim to madmen and their sick games. No, you were simply [Name], moaning wantonly with little care for the environment around you.
Your other hand slithered under the blanket, finding his hair and tugging the soft tresses; feeling them stick between the gaps of your fingers. Shamelessly you rubbed against his face, desperate for that sweet release. Your pussy convulsed with each struggled breath you took, stars impeding your vision as you got closer and closer.
You felt it before you heard it, Thanos’s sweet urges right into your pussy. His wet words of make me a mess, pretty girl— don’t hold back on me now, causing you to tip over the line.
His mouth latched to you, drinking up your release as if you tasted better than any drug within his cross. It didn’t help he was practically praising your taste, a sloppy groan being delivered right into your pussy. Gingerly, Thanos licked you clean, assuring not a single drop was left.
Only when the man was fully satisfied did he let up, climbing up from the blanket and popping his head out to look down at you.
“See, it helped— you can barely keep your eyes open right now.”
You released a soft breath, a mix of a chuckle and a sigh as you stared up at the man. “You gonna let me sleep now?” You spoke softly, watching his wet lips curl into a gentle smile.
“Of course. Good night, [Name].”
#black fanfic writer#chubby reader#black fanfiction#black tumblr#black!reader#poc writer#black reader#thanos squidgame#thanos x reader#squid game thanos x reader#squid game thanos#thanos squid game#thanos#thanos x black reader#thanos x reader smut#thanos x black reader smut#thanos smut#thanos squid game smut#squid game smut#squid game x reader#squid game x reader smut#squid game x black reader#squid game x black reader smut
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Hi there 👋 I absolutely love your writing!
Can I request an innocent reader who loses her virginity to Logan. She genuinely is innocent though and doesn’t know what to do but is excited to try anyway. Maybe she does a few things kinda “wrong” so Logan gently guides her and walks her through everything 👉👈
note: Logan being sweet and dom — one of the best things ever.
———
“You’re a bit excited,” Logan said as y/n roughly pulled the man’s pants down. “Just wanna taste,” Y/n said with a small whine in her tone. She knew before the night started that she finally wanted Logan, but after a few shots, she couldn't hide how much she wanted him.
“Well, ain’t that sweet — Never knew you’d be this desperate for me, Bub,” Logan chuckled as y/n slowly traced her hand across his cock that peaked through his boxers.
“Take your time, baby. Feels good already,” Logan whispered as he watched y/n’s eyes grow. She was focused on his manhood. She never thought he’d be this huge. She never even thought she’d see him like this.
Y/n slowly pulled Logan’s cock out of his boxers, showing her his full size. The veins that ran through his shaft, had her cunt throb.
“Look good?” Logan asked, watching the way y/n’s mouth watered. “Y-Yes,” Y/n stuttered as she looked at him all over. She cussed at herself for not seeing Logan sooner.
“C’mon, princess — Taste me,” Logan whispered again as he pulsed around her hand. Y/n took her time, taking a long deep breath before she stuck her tongue out. Logan was confused, but let y/n do whatever it was she wanted to do.
Logan slightly twitched as soon as y/n’s tongue touched his tip. The young girl swirled her tongue around him, tasting pre-cum that leaked from his cock.
“That’s it, baby — Per it in your mouth,” Logan spoke. Y/n nodded before she softly wrapped her mouth around his tip. She was so gentle to the point Logan could barely feel you.
“C’mon, Bub — Take it,” Logan tried getting her to do more, but all she did was swirl her tongue around his cock, thinking that would be enough to push him over the edge.
“Hey, hey, wait,” Logan said as he pulled out of y/n’s mouth. “What? Did I do something wrong?” Y/n asked, making Logan chuckle as he rubbed the young lady's cheek.
“No, Bub — Just need you to stop being gentle. I wanna fuck your throat,” Logan said as he looked directly into y/n’s eyes. His were dark. “O-Okay — I just don’t know how to do that,” y/n said, making Logan laugh. “Baby, you don’t do anything. I do everything. You just sit there, look up at me, while I face fuck you,”
Y/n took a big gulp before she opened her mouth, waiting for him to do whatever he wanted to do to her. She trusted that anything he’d do, she’d love.
“There you go,” Logan groaned as he slipped past y/n’s lips. “Augh,” y/n gagged as she placed her hands on Logan’s hips to ouch back. “Nah uh,” Logan grabbed a hand full of y/n’s hair before he pulled her down on his cock.
“Yeah, that’s it — Gag on it,” Logan grunted as he slipped further past y/n’s lips. Y/n’s eyes began to water just like her cunt began to soak. The way Logan took over made y/n want this more often.
“Always knew you’d feel this good, y/n. Just look at you. Eyes unfocused and runny — Might have to use this pretty little mouth more often,”
Y/n moaned on Logan’s cock as she nodded her head, causing a vibration to run through his cock. Logan slightly growled at the feeling.
“Gonna take it all? Gonna let me drain it all in you?” Logan grunted as his hips bucked faster, barely allowing y/n to nod her head. “Ah huh,”
In seconds, Logan spilled in her mouth, coating her throat with a loud moan. The man’s knees bucked, and his abs flexed. He hasn’t shot a load like this in so long.
“Keep it in your mouth for a little before I eating you out — Can smell that cunt from miles away,”
#james howlett#wolverine#james howlett smut#james howlett x reader#logan howlet smut#logan howlett x reader#wolverine smut#logan howlett smut#logan howlett xmen#wolverin smut#logan howlett x fem!reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlet x reader#logan wolverine#logan howlett#james howlett x you#wolverine x you#wolverine x reader#wolverine xmen#wolverine x men#hugh jackman x you#hugh jackman x reader#hugh jackman smut#hugh jackman
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girl, so confusing | f1
an: this is SADLY the last part :( don’t worry, i do plan on writing more fics for the f1 dilf!! here’s your long awaited reveal on the baby daddy lol made this one extra long for y’all <3 enjoy!!
part 1 part 2
faceclaim gisele bündchen
liked by ynstyle, goss1pformulas and others
f1gossiproom could mark webber be the father? recently former red bull and williams drivers, mark and y/n have been spending time together. the pair were spotted having dinner several times and a source confirmed that webber attended y/n’s daughter’s recital! they were once again spotted out in australia spending time in bondi beach with y/n’s daughter (not pictured to protect her privacy) they were soon joined by friends and webber’s family. a source, who wishes to remain anonymous, saw them and said y/n’s daughter, gemma, and mark were bonding as if they were dad and daughter 👀 he even calls her ‘gem’ and ‘gemmy’! what do you think? is mark webber the real father? we certainly think so!
formulaho3 how about just leave them alone?
roscoesno1fan mark looks like a total dilf in that pic so yes
oscarspastry what if the real father is the friends we made along the way?
webberxvettel i need to know the truth before i die
hamiltonsmerecedes not f1 twitter trying to cancel y/n for getting with their faves 😭
lnwhores i stand by my cancelled wife
myhonestbitchface and when y/n reveals that sebastian is the bd then what 🤨 i feel it in my gut 👀 that german bitch is the bd
blackwidowswife bitch you’re just hungry
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THE PADDOCK SESSIONS has posted a new YouTube video!
Italics = voiceover by y/n
“Hello!” Y/n’s daughter, Gemma, opened the door to Dan. She knew that he was going to film an interview with her mother about her racing career. She watched as Dan’s camera man waved to her. She assumed they had already started filming.
“Gemma hates and loves when I’m away. She stays with her grandparents when I have to leave or if her dad is not busy then they’ll be together. I think she loves it because her dad lets her have ice cream before bed. I’m more of a strict parent between me and him.”
Photos of little Gemma appear on screen. The young girl was picture with her mother on her first birthday, then with Mark and family members then Sebastian and Jenson.
Dan entered Y/n’s London home with Gemma by his side. He spotted Y/n making tea. “Got here just in time.” He laughed as he joined the former driver in the kitchen.
“I hope the flight here wasn’t too bad.” Y/n passed a mug over to Dan.
“Slept my way through it,” before Dan could take a sip from his tea, he noticed the mug that he was given. It had ‘best dad ever’ sloppily written in paint. “Cute.” He held the mug up and smiled.
“Yeah, Gemma made it for her dad last year for Father’s Day.” Y/n smiled proudly at her daughter’s creation.
That’s when Gemma joined the conversation. “But I couldn’t give it to him on actual Father’s Day! He was away racing and couldn’t be here so I had to give it to him later.” She explained.
After the pair finished their tea, they walked together to Y/n’s small garden. There she had a little seating area where the rest of the interview would take place.
“Lovely garden.” Dan commented.
“Thank you, although I won’t take all the credit. Sebastian comes to help, Gemma kind of bosses him around telling him where each flower looks best.” Y/n laughed, setting her mug on the glass table.
“Dad loves the flowers I picked out for the garden.” Gemma pointed out as she joined them outside. As Dan started the interview, Gemma kept playing outside with her toys.
More images of a young Y/n flashed on screen. She was driving for Williams at the time, they were her first ever team.
“Williams was my first home. They were nice to me, but they put so much pressure on me to perform, like every race had to be perfect. And when it wasn’t, you could feel the disappointment, like a weight hanging in the air. I’d go back to my hotel room at night, and it was just me and the silence.”
The video showed a clip of young Y/n in the Williams garage getting ready for her debut race. She noticed the camera then smiled and waved. The video then cuts to from a happy, full of life Y/n to a gloomy, quiet Y/n sitting alone in her garage.
“I didn’t have friends in the paddock back then. Everyone was focused on their own thing, and the people around me—the trainers, the engineers—they all kept their distance. One of my trainers actually told me, ‘I’m not here to be your friend; I’m here to work.’ And that’s when I realized I was completely on my own."
Y/n then looked over her shoulder and saw Gemma using a teddy bear that her father had bought the girl for her birthday last year in Germany. The former driver smiled at the memory of her little family spending a special day together.
Back to the interview, Y/n then talked to Dan about her divorce. It was a dark time for her. She had been young when she said ‘I Do’ to a man she thought was the love of her life. At the time of her marriage, her husband was six years older. She was nineteen at the time, about to turn twenty.
Several headlines from the day her marriage was announced appeared on screen.
“Barely an Adult, Already a Wife: Y/N Marries Six Years Her Senior”
“Y/N’s Whirlwind Marriage: Chasing Love, Not Podiums?”
“Teenage Racer’s Rush to the Altar: Desperate for Love or Just Immature?”
“Is Y/N Looking for Validation in All the Wrong Places?”
“‘She’ll Marry Anyone’: Critics Slam Y/N’s Hasty Decision at Just 19”
"They painted me as some kind of desperate girl who couldn’t handle being alone. The truth was, I was 19, scared, and in love—or at least I thought I was. But that didn’t matter to them. They just wanted to sell papers."
Dan then spoke. “What led to the divorce?”
Y/n sighed deeply. Only a few people knew the real reason. “It’s . . . a complicated thing to talk about. I mean, when you’re nineteen and in love, or what you think is love, you don’t always see the red flags. At the time, I thought I’d found someone who believed in me, who would support me no matter what. But as time went on, I realized that wasn’t the case."
A picture of Y/n getting ready by herself on her wedding day appears on screen. Her family were not present as her husband at the time wanted it to be only them. She smiled brightly at the camera as her photo was taken. The image fades then clips of Y/n racing in the early 2000s play.
“He wanted a family. Kids, a house, the whole thing. And there’s nothing wrong with that, but he wanted it then, right when my career was just beginning. He gave me an ultimatum—racing or him."
Dan lightly gasped at her words. “Oh . . .”
“I chose racing. How could I not? It was everything I’d worked for, everything I’d dreamed of. But he didn’t take it well. He made me feel like I was selfish, like I was throwing away a chance at a ‘real’ life."
Several more images of Y/n and her then husband flash on screen. There’s no photos of him attending races, mostly because he thought racing was dumb and didn’t like loud crowds.
“He didn’t trust me. Whenever I was away at races, he’d insist I call him every single day, sometimes multiple times. If I missed a call because I was in a meeting or debrief, he’d accuse me of . . . things. Things that weren’t true. I couldn’t even have a normal conversation with my trainer or my team principal without worrying about how he’d react."
"There were times I wanted to visit my family, to go home and just breathe. But he’d make me feel so guilty for even thinking about it, like I was abandoning him. So I stopped trying."
The screen cuts back to Y/N on the sofa. Her hands are clasped tightly now, her voice calm but with an undercurrent of emotion.
“And then the divorce was final and for a moment I was happy until he went to the media spreading all sorts of lies.” Y/n added.
Several more magazine headlines appear on screen.
“The Truth About Y/N: Ex-Husband Reveals Why Their Marriage Failed”
“‘She Wanted the World to Love Her, Not Me’: Y/N’s Ex Speaks Out”
“‘All She Cared About Was Fame’: Y/N’s Ex-Husband Speaks Out About Their Divorce”
Then the screen cuts to clips of Y/n’s ex husband being interviewed about their marriage.
“I sacrificed so much to support her career, but she couldn’t give me the one thing I wanted: a family. She was too busy chasing the cameras and the glory.”
“It was rough. Instead of being asked about racing, I was asked about my failed marriage.” Y/n recalled all the times during interviews when her ex-husband’s name was mentioned. “I just wanted to go home a cry, but I had a job to do. But of course the attention I was getting got me fired.”
“How were you told you were no longe driving for Williams?” Dan asked.
“Would you believe it if I said it was a ten second phone call from Claire Williams?” Y/n laughed. “Claire and I were never enemies. A few days after I got her call, she had dinner in my house and explained to me that she didn’t want to be the one to call me, but she was pressured to. Apparently the Williams team thought it was best for her to tell me in a phone call because they thought it would be ‘easier’ if the news came from her, since she’s a woman. They thought it would hurt less coming from her. Can you believe that?"
Dan noticed how Y/n laughed at the mention of the famous ten second phone call.
“It was definitely ridiculous of them. But they didn’t understand how humiliating it was either way. But Claire . . . I could tell she hated it. She ended the call so quickly because she didn’t want to do it. She didn’t want me to be dropped from the team."
A photo showed of Claire Williams talking to Y/n before a race. At the time, Y/n didn’t know it, but Claire was her only friend.
“I don’t blame her for how it happened. She was caught in the middle of a decision that wasn’t hers to make. And honestly, her coming to my house afterward to explain—that meant something. It didn’t fix anything, but it showed she cared." Y/n finished drinking her tea then resumed speaking. “That ten-second call changed everything for me. But at least I know it wasn’t Claire’s choice. It was just . . . Williams being Williams."
“After everything that happened with Williams, you had every reason to step away from the sport. But instead, you joined McLaren. Looking back now, would you say that was the decision that changed everything for the better?" Dan questioned. He watched as her face softened. She truly adored her time with mclaren.
Y/n nodded. “Joining McLaren felt like a fresh start, like a second chance to prove what I was capable of. At Williams, I was just surviving. But at McLaren, I got to thrive."
Clips of Y/n during her time with the mclaren team played. Her smile was genuine and she looked happier than ever.
“I wasn’t sure if I wanted to keep racing. I didn’t know if I could trust another team. But McLaren . . . they believed in me in a way no one else had."
"It wasn’t just about the racing, though. McLaren gave me a second chance, not just at my career, but at myself. It reminded me why I fell in love with this sport in the first place."
“And then came those three idiots.” Y/n laughed when she remembered becoming friends with Mark, Jenson and Sebastian. Her cheeks tinting slightly, but her smile stays steady.
“But with that friendship came negative comments. I remember reading articles calling you horrible names just for having friendships with them.” Dan commented.
“Those negative comments still come my way even after many years,” Y/n added. “I stayed away from social media for that same reason until recently.”
“But with sharing your life on social media also came questions about your daughters life as well.”
Y/n knew it was something that was going to come up in the interview. Dan didn’t want to ask, but Y/n wanted to share. Gemma’s father and her had discussed it before and they both agreed to the interview.
“Yeah, the whole ‘who’s the father?’ thing has taken over every social media app i have. I can’t avoid it, especially when people constantly message me about it.” Y/n spoke. “Jenson thinks it’s hilarious.”
“Jenson?” Dan questioned.
“Yeah, he sent me a meme about it comparing us to Mamma Mia. I sent it to Sebastian and he sent it to Mark.”
The remainder of the interview, Y/n talked about her family she shared with the man who endlessly supported through everything. Every time she talked about him, she smiled brightly. It was clear that she loved him and their daughter more than anything.
As the video came to an end, Gemma was seen running towards someone who was out of frame. “Dad’s home!” Gemma jumped into his arms and hugged him.
“I thought you were flying in next week.” Y/n stood up to hug him.
“I come here to surprise you and Gem and this is how I’m treated?” He placed a kiss on Y/n’s temple, still holding onto Gemma. “Sorry, I definitely interrupted you two, haven’t I?”
“It’s alright, Jenson. We were just wrapping things up.”
INSTAGRAM
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f1gossip after finally revealing the identity of her daughter’s father, y/n and her daughter gemma were seen together in a beach in california 👀 jenson button also lives in california so we’re thinking the button family is spending some time together.
vettelsbees GIRL SEB WAS SPOTTED AT LAX
hamiltonsmercedes AND MARK
nicorosbergisadiva WHAT IS GOING ONNNN
landonorris hey i know her
ferraridepressionclub ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HEREEE
webbertears what do you know you gremlin
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“Can I have money for ice cream?” Gemma ran up to her parents, Mark and Sebastian. The former drivers were all enjoying the sunshine of California, an idea that came from Gemma. She had been the one to call Mark and Sebastian to join her and her parents. They agreed even if they cancelled their plans with friends. They would literally do anything for the young girl.
Without hesitation, all the men took out their wallets and took out money for the girl. Their actions caused both Gemma and Y/n to laugh.
“Okay, thank you.” She gladly took the money from each of them.
“I’ll go with you, Gemmy,” Mark said as he got up from his spot and took Gemma’s hand in his. Together they walked to the ice cream stand.
“Has Claire called you?” Sebastian wondered. Ever since the interview was posted, the Williams team had posted several posts of Y/n when she was driving for them. They were finally acknowledging her wins and podiums. And of course they received some criticism from fans.
“She messaged me letting me know she watched the interview. She’s happy I did it.” Y/n replied.
“We all are. You should’ve done the interview years ago.” Jenson said.
Y/n only nodded and turned her attention to Mark and Gemma. The girl had always been close to both the German and Australian drivers, how couldn’t she when they had been in her mothers life and now they were in hers.
“Gemma asked if she could go to a race, but she wants you all to be there.” Y/n spoke up. Gemma desperately wanted the three men to join her. Y/n knew they would all say yes immediately.
“Did she say which one?” Sebastian asked.
“She said she wants to go to each of your home races.” Y/n grinned as Jenson immediately said he was in. Sebastian laughed then nodded. Of course they would join Gemma, the girl had them all wrapped around her finger.
“And will you be attending too?” Jenson winked at her. “We could do a repeat of what happened after Australia.”
“Funny, I was about to suggest the same thing but it happened in Canada.” Sebastian teased.
“Well weren’t you a busy woman.” Jenson smirked. “And Mark?”
Y/n kept quiet, innocently sipping her lemonade. After setting her drink down, the former drivers waited for her answer. “If you must know . . . We were in Vegas.”
Jenson groaned. “I was thinking Monaco.”
“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, baby.”
#formula 1#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#f1 imagine#f1 x you#f1#mark webber x reader#sebastian vettel x reader#jenson button x reader#f1 driver!reader#sv5 x reader#mw2 x reader#jb22 x reader
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between the ride and the roses (final)
Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: biker/ motorcycle shop owner! jungkook x flower shop owner! reader, enemies to lovers, opposites attract, slow burn, angst, smut, fluff
Word count: 13.4k+
Series summary: There's an insane turn of events when your calm and peaceful life is intruded by Jungkook, a biker boy who sets up his loud business right next to your own. Your paths cross under unlikely circumstances, starting with a clash of personalities but gradually you find yourself establishing a deeper connection with the annoyingly attractive biker jerk. You both have no idea what's in store for you guys as you try your best to put up with each other.
Chapter Warnings: protected sex, oral (f. receiving), mentions of hospital, stitches, wounds, injuries, scars, angst (lmk if i missed anything)
A/N: wow, i can’t believe my first-ever series is finally over. it’s been almost two months since i started this, and you guys have shown me immense love and support for this story—something i’ll forever be grateful for. a part of me feels sad to let go of these characters, but i think i’ll be coming back with a few drabbles every now and then.
i truly hope you’re satisfied with the ending, and i hope reading this series brought you comfort the same way writing it brought comfort to me. thank you so much to everyone who stuck around until the very end. stay tuned for more of my work. also HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYSSSS i hope all of you have the best year ahead. love you guys <3
final: garden of the open road
"Or maybe you should get her flowers!!" Hoseok chimes, his tone bright and optimistic as he leans over the workbench, twirling a wrench in his hand like he’s just unlocked the secret to the universe. "I mean, flowers solve everything, right?" His grin is infectious, lighting up his entire face as he glances between Jungkook and Jimin for validation.
Jimin, lounging across from him with a barely concealed look of skepticism, raises an eyebrow. "Come on, Hyung. Y/n owns a flower shop. Do you really think giving her flowers would be anything other than redundant? That’s like giving a baker bread... or... or a mechanic spare tires. Think it through." He crosses his arms, leaning back smugly as if he’s already won the debate.
Jungkook remains silent, his attention absorbed by the bike in front of him, polishing it. The rhythmic motion of his cloth on the metal feels almost meditative, but inside, a storm brews.
It's been a week since you stormed out of his shop, and the silence between the two of you has only amplified the weight of his regret. Every word that Yoongi had said to him echoes in his mind... Yoongi's disappointment, his advice, and his harsh yet caring words.
He knows now, with absolute clarity, that he can’t keep doing what he’s been doing. Avoiding, running, pushing you away... it was never just about protecting you, it was also about his own fears. And Yoongi was right... he needs to stay. To show you, not just with words but with actions, that he’s in this. Fully. Wholeheartedly.
Meanwhile, Hoseok and Jimin continue their back-and-forth, brainstorming creative suggestions for Jungkook to make it up to you.
Jungkook doesn’t respond, his thoughts spiraling as he grapples with how to make things right and undo the damage he’s caused. He’s been giving you space, knowing you probably need time to cool off.
But he can’t stop himself from wondering. How are you holding up? Are your wounds healing? Are you still angry with him? Do you still hate him? The questions gnaw at him relentlessly, each one heavier than the last.
Every moment without you feels like a thousand lifetimes, and the weight of his inaction is suffocating. His silence, his avoidance… it’s all been one colossal mistake. He loves you too much to keep fumbling this, and after you poured your heart out to him like that, doing nothing would only cement the fact that he’s the biggest idiot on the planet.
Yoongi was right. Jungkook needs to be with you, not just in the easy moments but in the tough ones, too. He needs to be the person who gives you peace, not the one who makes you question everything.
As Jungkook continues his silent contemplation, Hoseok and Jimin’s bickering grows louder, their voices rising as they try to outdo each other in the "perfect apology to Y/n" department.
The two suddenly pause when the sound of the shop door opening cuts through their debate. All three heads snap towards the entrance, and they see Yoongi walking in, his expression as calm and unreadable as ever.
He cracks his neck, adjusts his shoulders, and strides towards Jungkook. Without a word, he reaches into his pocket, pulls out a pair of keys, and tosses them at Jungkook.
Still seated by the bike, Jungkook barely manages to catch them with his greasy hands. He looks down at the keys, confusion flickering across his face. “You… you got my bike back?” he asks, his voice laced with disbelief, his brows furrowing as he lifts his gaze to Yoongi. “Hyung… how did you—?”
Before he can finish, Yoongi shakes his head, cutting him off with a raised hand. “You don’t have to worry about it.” he says, his tone firm. “Just focus on making things right with Y/n. And listen to me carefully... don’t even think about getting involved with Mingyu again. I’m serious, Jungkook. No second chances there.”
The warning in Yoongi’s voice is enough to make Jungkook nod, a mix of gratitude and guilt bubbling in his chest. Yoongi’s sharp gaze briefly sweeps over Hoseok and Jimin, and with a subtle nod in their direction, he turns and heads towards the storeroom.
“Damn, Yoongi-hyung is so cool.” Jimin mutters under his breath, sounding almost awestruck.
“Anyways, like I was saying…” Hoseok begins again, picking up right where they left off, as though the brief interruption never happened. In no time, the two are back at it, listing an increasingly sappy and downright cringey array of suggestions for how Jungkook could apologize to you, the ideas growing more and more outrageous by the second.
Jungkook shakes his head, tuning them out as he looks down at the keys in his hand. He knows that none of their over-the-top plans will work. If he wants to make things right with you, he has to do it his own way... authentic, heartfelt, and real.
He needs to let you know how much he cares, how much he wants you in his life, and how deeply he loves you. No grand gestures or flashy displays. Just him, making it right.
As the minutes tick by, Jungkook finishes working on the bike in front of him. He wipes his hands clean, his mind already racing with thoughts of how to approach you. Just as he’s about to step away from the bike, the shop door creaks open again, drawing everyone’s attention.
This time, it’s Mr. Kwon, the town head, stepping inside. “Hey, boys.” he greets warmly, his gaze sweeping across Hoseok, Jimin, and Jungkook. Yoongi steps out, emerging from the storeroom and raises an eyebrow in curiosity.
“Oh, Mr. Kwon…” Yoongi says, folding his arms as he leans casually against the wall. “What brings you here today?”
“Ah, nothing too pressing.” Mr. Kwon replies calmly as he fixes his suit. “I just wanted to inform you boys about the meeting at the townhall this Friday. The agenda is to discuss the upcoming community drive-in movie night that will be happening on Sunday. It’s an annual event we do for fun and fundraising.”
“A drive-in movie night?” Hoseok’s eyes light up, leaning forward with genuine excitement. “I didn’t even know we did things like that around here! That sounds amazing.”
“It’s one of our most cherished traditions.” Mr. Kwon explains with a nod. “We set up a big screen on the old field just past Main Street. Everyone gathers in their cars, bring snacks, and enjoy the movie under the stars. It’s also a way to raise money for community projects. Last year, the proceeds went towards renovating the public library.”
“Oh wow, that sounds amazing!” Jimin chimes in, his tone enthusiastic. “Do people suggest the movie beforehand, or do you just pick something classic?”
“We like to keep it democratic.” Mr. Kwon replies with a chuckle. “That's why there's a meeting. People pitch ideas, and then we take a vote. It keeps everyone involved and ensures we pick something most people will enjoy. Last year, it was Back to the Future. Quite a hit.” he explains and the boys nod, giving him approved hums.
“So it would be great if you boys showed up on Friday.” he adds, glancing around at the group. “We could all sit down and decide what to watch together.”
“Of course, Mr. Kwon. We’ll be there.” Yoongi says with a small smile, straightening up from his casual stance. Hoseok and Jimin eagerly nod in agreement, their excitement evident. “Well then, I’ll see you all on Friday.” Mr. Kwon says warmly, before stepping out of the shop.
As the door shuts close, the shop falls into a brief silence. Jungkook, who has been standing still the whole time, listening to the exchange without a word, finally moves. He steps away from the bike and towards the counter, his expression thoughtful.
The town meeting. He wonders if you’ve heard about it too and the idea of you being there stirs a mix of anticipation and unease in him. Just the thought of seeing you, after everything, makes his chest tighten and his head spin.
//
"So, you're gonna go back to the shop from next week?" Seokjin asks, gently placing the dinner he just prepared onto your small dining table. His voice is calm, but the concern in his eyes flickers as they briefly land on your bandaged hand.
You nod, offering a faint smile. “Yeah. I can’t just sit at home any longer.” you reply.
You’ve just returned from the hospital with your friends after getting the stitches removed from your head. You glance down at your hand, where the injury is slowly starting to heal.
Thanks to Taehyung and Namjoon, the repairs of your shop have been completed... each detail meticulously taken care of, with them keeping you informed every step of the way.
Over the past week, your friends have been your unwavering support. They’ve cooked for you, comforted you, and stayed by your side, especially after you opened up about everything that happened with Jungkook. They didn’t have all the right words, truth be told, there weren’t any, but their presence alone was enough to carry you through.
You’re not okay, not completely. But you’ve begun to accept the harsh reality that maybe… just maybe… things with Jungkook aren’t meant to be.
That thought cuts deep, especially considering how he hasn’t reached out since that moment. Perhaps you were too harsh, too out of line when you called him a coward, even though all he wanted to do was protect you.
Yet, a part of you still feels a seething anger. You miss him, more than you care to admit and the emotional storm inside you leaves you confused, raw, and aching.
"Also..." Taehyung starts, catching your attention as you glance at him from across the table. "Mr. Kwon called all of us for a meeting at the townhall this Friday." he says, his voice steady but with a hint of excitement. Juwon nods in agreement. "Yeah. It's about the drive-in movie night." she adds.
You’ve known about the drive-in movie night for a while, and you expected it to happen soon, just like it always did every year. When things became official between you and Jungkook, you’d often daydreamed about the two of you sitting together in a car, hands intertwined, sharing pretzels and popcorn while watching a movie.
You never mentioned it to him. It was just one of those scenarios you let your mind wander to. But now, that dream feels like a bitter memory, especially with how things ended between you and him.
Still, despite everything, you know you want to attend. You’ve always enjoyed participating in these fundraising events with the people of your town, and the thought of missing out doesn’t sit well with you. "Will you be coming?" Namjoon asks carefully, his gaze soft and understanding.
You smile at him, your heart a little lighter, and nod. "Of course. Let’s all go to the meeting together." you say, glancing around at your friends.
//
Friday sneaks up on you, and before you know it, you, Juwon, and Taehyung are strutting down the pavement towards the townhall. Juwon has her arm looped through yours, clinging tightly to you like a koala. “It’s freezing!” she whines, shivering dramatically.
“It’s not that bad.” Taehyung says, hands in his pockets. “You’re just overly dramatic.” he shrugs. “Says the guy who wears four layers when it’s below 20 degrees.” Juwon fires back.
Taehyung gasps in mock offense. “Excuse you, I’m fashionably layered, thank you. There’s a difference.”
The chilly banter keeps you distracted until you step inside the townhall. Almost immediately, Mrs. Han spots you. “Y/n!” she exclaims, rushing over. Before you can blink, she’s holding your arms and scrutinizing your face like a worried mom.
“How are you, dear? My goodness, look at this scar. Oh, those boys! Nasty, nasty boys!!” she huffs, her face scrunching in outrage. You smile weakly, trying to reassure her. “I’m doing better now, Mrs. Han. Really.”
She shakes her head, unconvinced. “Better? Better?! I heard they just had to pay a fine. A fine! That’s like paying for parking after committing a hit-and-run. Absolutely ridiculous! I hope karma runs over them with a dump truck.”
Juwon chimes in, nodding furiously. “Preferably a truck full of cow poop.” she says and Mrs. Han agrees with her, her expression serious. You bite back a laugh, trying to keep it together. “Thank you, Mrs. Han. I appreciate your concern.”
As you inch away, you pass more familiar faces, each one stopping to check on you. The flood of questions and well-meaning outrage is almost too much, but you manage to navigate through the crowd and find Namjoon and Seokjin, who’ve saved seats for all of you.
You plop down in the chair, letting out a dramatic sigh. “I’ve survived the auntie inquisition.” you say. Namjoon chuckles. “You’re braver than I am. Mrs. Han once interrogated me for twenty minutes about why I don’t eat enough spinach.”
Seokjin smirks. “Spinach is important. Haven’t you seen Popeye?” Before you can retort, Taehyung slides into his seat. “So, what movie are we voting for? I say Shrek. It’s a masterpiece.” he says. Juwon groans. “Taehyung, not everything can be solved with ogres.”
“First of all....” he replies, raising a finger. “Shrek is a cinematic masterpiece. Second of all, it’s funny, heartwarming, and has layers. It’s perfect.”
Namjoon shakes his head. “I’m betting on something classic, like Forrest Gump. You know, a movie that makes you think about life.”
Seokjin snorts. “More like a movie that makes you think about shrimp. Shrimp gumbo, shrimp soup, shrimp salad…” he says as Taehyung giggles. “Okay, but what about Mean Girls?” Juwon suggests. “Everyone needs a little high school drama now and then.”
“Oh my god... I can quote that entire movie.” you add with a grin. “So fetch.” you say, winking at your friends. Taehyung dramatically raises an eyebrow. “Stop trying to make fetch happen. It’s not going to happen.” he beams and the group bursts out laughing, and for the first time in a while, you feel a little lighter.
While you and your friends continue to laugh, Jungkook lingers by the entrance of the townhall, his gaze fixed on you. He notices the absence of the bandage around your head, the way your laughter fills the room, and the brightness in your smile that feels almost contagious.
It’s such a stark contrast to the image burned into his mind from a week ago... your pain, your tears and though he knows he isn’t the reason for that smile or your happiness, he feels a quiet relief seeing you like this.
“Stop staring.” Jimin’s voice cuts through his thoughts, low and teasing. He nudges Jungkook with his shoulder, breaking his trance. “You’re not exactly subtle, you know.”
“I wasn’t staring.” Jungkook mutters, his jaw tightening slightly. “Sure, sure.” Jimin retorts with a smirk, gesturing towards the hall. “Now move, loverboy. People are trying to get in.”
Reluctantly, Jungkook steps further inside. As he walks past your group, your laughter rings out again, soft and warm. It tugs at something deep inside him, bittersweet and impossible to ignore. He glances at you briefly, the temptation to linger overwhelming, but you or none of your friends notice him. Maybe that’s for the best.
He follows Jimin, Hoseok and Yoongi to the back, where they quietly settle into one of the last rows. Slumping into his seat, Jungkook sneaks another glance your way.
You’re surrounded by your friends, immersed in their lively chatter, and for a fleeting moment, he lets himself just observe. Seeing you like this... laughing, smiling... is somehow enough to ease the ache in his chest, even if he’s not the reason behind your happiness.
For now, that will have to be enough, at least until he musters up the courage to finally talk to you.
Eventually, Mr. Kwon steps onto the dais, commanding the room's attention with his usual calm authority. He begins the meeting, and as expected, what follows is a spirited and seemingly endless debate about which movie to screen for the drive-in event this Sunday.
Suggestions fly across the room, each met with enthusiastic agreements or vehement objections. Some champion a nostalgic classic, while others argue for something modern and thrilling.
The discussion grows lively, with raised hands, animated gestures, and occasional laughter rippling through the crowd. Mr. Kwon, ever the patient mediator, lets the town hash it out, his steady gaze sweeping over the sea of opinions.
Eventually, a consensus is reached... a fun, family friendly timeless classic that everyone agrees will be perfect: The Parent Trap. Satisfied murmurs fill the air as Mr. Kwon finalizes the details, his booming voice carrying over the low hum of excitement.
As the meeting concludes, the energy in the room begins to shift. People gradually drift towards the exits, chatting in clusters as they wrap up their conversations.
Your friends are caught up in their own moments. Namjoon stands by the side, deep in conversation with the grandpa from the bookstore, their voices low and amiable. Taehyung and Juwon hover near Mrs. Han, listening intently as she animatedly recounts some anecdote. Seokjin, ever the comedian, laughs with one of the local kids at the back.
You find yourself standing quietly amid the bustle, a small pocket of stillness in the lively atmosphere. You have the sudden urge to take a moment for yourself, just to step out and catch a breather.
The noise and movement of the hall fade into the background as you quietly slip towards the door, seeking the cool embrace of the evening air.
You walk carefully away from the town hall, the faint hum of voices and laughter fading behind you. The soft glow of the streetlights reflects off the pavement, casting long, quiet shadows that stretch into the night.
Eventually, you spot a bench nestled under a tree, just far enough from the hall to feel secluded but close enough to hear the occasional burst of laughter from the remaining crowd.
Without hesitation, you make your way towards it, the crisp evening air brushing against your skin. Taking a seat, you lean back, exhaling slowly as you let the weight of the day settle over you.
Despite the lively meeting and the buzz of energy around you earlier, your mind has been elsewhere, caught in an endless loop of memories and emotions. Back at the meeting, while the townsfolk were fervently debating over the movie choices, your gaze had wandered... and landed on him.
Jungkook was sitting at the back, his figure partially hidden behind the other people. At first, you weren’t even sure it was him, but when you caught sight of his side profile, the way his hair framed his face, you knew. For a fleeting moment, your eyes lingered on him, drawn like a magnet.
You don’t know if he noticed you, he gave no sign that he did. But just seeing him was enough to stir something deep within you... a longing you’ve tried so hard to bury.
The memories, the outburst, the ache of everything, all of it came rushing back with a vengeance. You miss him. Not just in the quiet moments when you’re alone but even in a room full of people, with laughter and chatter all around, you still miss him. So much.
A soft sigh escapes your lips as you close your eyes, surrendering to the quiet embrace of the evening. The breeze whispers across your skin, cool and gentle, carrying with it the faint scent of the earth after dusk.
Above you, the leaves sway softly, their rustling a rhythmic lullaby that contrasts with the chaos unraveling in your mind. Thoughts you’ve tried to bury rise to the surface, each one heavier than the last. You let them swirl and settle, the weight of them pressing against your chest.
For a brief moment, you allow yourself to simply feel, untangling the knots of emotions that have been wound too tightly for too long. Then, the faintest shift in the air pulls you back. It’s subtle at first, almost imperceptible, but it grows... the unmistakable presence of someone nearby.
Your eyelids flutter open, hesitant, as if you’re afraid of shattering the fragile stillness around you. When your gaze shifts to the side, your breath catches.
Jungkook stands a few feet away, the soft street light casting delicate shadows across his face. His expression is unreadable at first, but his eyes… they speak volumes. They hold a hesitance, a yearning, and something deeper... something that pulls at the threads of your heart.
You blink slowly, your pulse quickening. “Y/n…” he murmurs, your name falling from his lips as though it’s a prayer, fragile and reverent, laden with everything he can’t say.
The sound of his voice sends a shiver down your spine, and instinctively, you look away, unable to meet his gaze. The emotions surging within you feel like too much... sharp, raw, overwhelming.
Without a second thought, you rise from the bench, the sudden need to put distance between you and him overtaking all reason.
You move quickly, your feet carrying you past him. The weight of his presence feels unbearable... the memories, the words exchanged, the vulnerability you showed him, all crashing over you like waves. Each step you take feels like an attempt to outrun the past, to escape the heaviness that standing before him seems to evoke.
But Jungkook doesn’t let you go.
Before you can get far, his hand reaches out, firm yet gentle, catching your wrist. His fingers curl around it, his touch warm and grounding. “Wait…” he says, his voice louder now, tinged with desperation. You freeze, your heart pounding against your ribs.
Jungkook stares at the back of your head, his breath shallow, his heart drumming in his ears. The warmth of your skin beneath his fingers feels like a tether, keeping him steady even as his emotions threaten to overwhelm him.
“Please…” he repeats, softer this time, his voice cracking as though each word costs him something. There’s a vulnerability in his tone, a rawness that slices through the storm in your mind and roots you in place.
You don’t turn around. The silence stretches, settling heavily between you. You feel his hand slip from your wrist, the absence of his touch as startling as its presence.
For a moment, you hear nothing but the faint rustling of leaves and the distant hum of life in the town. Then, his footsteps draw closer. “Y/n…” he says again, his voice steady but achingly tender. “Would you please look at me?”
You take a deep breath, your chest tightening as you will yourself to move, to do something but your body refuses to obey. You remain still, a statue carved from conflicting emotions, unable to summon the strength to face him.
Feelings of embarrassment and awkwardness surge through your veins because, frankly, you don’t know how to look him in the eye after the way you unraveled last week.
But beneath the vulnerability lies another emotion... a flicker of anger. A part of you is still just a tiny bit mad at him, for how he handled everything. For the way he didn’t show up when you needed him most, for the way he shut you out when all you wanted was to be let in.
And now, standing here, completely unprepared and caught in the unrelenting pull of his gaze, you feel trapped. The hurt, the resentment, the yearning... they all collide within you, creating a maelstrom of emotions that leaves you frozen.
So, you do nothing. You let the silence hang, your feet rooted to the ground as you wrestle with the chaos inside.
Minutes pass, or perhaps it’s only seconds... time feels warped, stretched thin under the weight of the silence. And then, suddenly, you feel his arms carefully snake around your waist, the movement almost hesitant, as though he’s unsure of his place.
Your breath hitches as he gently pulls you back, his chest pressing firmly against your back. His warmth envelops you, seeping into your skin, and his breath grazes the curve of your neck, soft and uneven, carrying with it the weight of emotions he can’t put into words. There’s a fragility in his touch, a silent plea, as if he fears that holding on too tightly might cross a line.
Your body stiffens at the contact, every nerve igniting under the intensity of his presence. His touch burns through you like a fire, its heat both searing and soothing, a contradiction that leaves you reeling. For a second, you sway on the edge of surrender, the thought of leaning into him tugging at the corners of your mind.
“Y/n…” he whispers, your name tumbling from his lips, heavy with sorrow and regret. His voice quivers, faltering as the words fight their way out. “Please, just… just give me a chance to explain myself. I’m… I’m so sorry. I’m sorry... sorry for everything.” he says, his tone raw and husky, cracking under the weight of his emotions.
You feel his arms tighten around you, as if afraid you might slip away. The grip is firm yet tender, grounding yet fragile, and you close your eyes, surrendering—if only for a moment—to the storm of emotions stirring within you. Almost involuntarily, you lean into him, your body finding solace in the warmth of his embrace.
Time seems to still as you stay there, the world outside fading into an indistinct hum. Slowly, your hand rises, hesitating before it rests gently on top of his where it rests on your stomach.
You inhale deeply, the steady rhythm of his breath against your shoulder grounding you, even as your heart pounds furiously against your ribcage.
For now, you allow yourself this momentary indulgence... to bask in the bittersweet safety of his hold, the unspoken solace of his touch, and the ache of longing that lingers between you.
“You could’ve reached out…” you whisper, but it cuts through the stillness. Jungkook stiffens behind you, his grip faltering ever so slightly at the sound of your voice. “You could’ve called, you could’ve texted…” you continue, your words trembling under the weight of everything.
Slowly, you flutter your eyes open, the reality of the moment settling in like a quiet storm. “But you didn’t, Jungkook.”
He says nothing, his silence deafening, and for a second, the unspoken emotions between you feel suffocating.
Then, as if the universe conspires to tear you apart, your phone buzzes in your pocket. The sharp vibration feels like a cruel reminder of the world waiting outside this fragile moment. You don’t even check the screen... you know it’s probably one of your friends, calling to ask where you disappeared to.
You seize the interruption as an excuse. Gently, with the hand that rests on his, you grasp his wrist and peel his arms away, stepping out of his hold. “I… I have to go.” you say, your voice barely holding steady as you take a step forward.
You don’t turn to face him... you can’t. If you do, you know you’ll crumble under the weight of his gaze, those deep, expressive eyes.
You pause for a moment, teetering on the edge of staying, of turning back. The urge to look at him, to search his face for answers, nearly consumes you. But you don’t. You inhale sharply, steeling yourself, and before he can say or do anything to stop you, you’re gone.
As Jungkook watches you walk towards the town hall again, he stands frozen, realizing just how crucial timing truly is. How he should have seized the opportunity to make things right, especially when you came running to his shop, pouring out everything that had been frustrating you.
How, instead of fighting Mingyu, he should have been by your side at the hospital.
How, from the very beginning, he should have set aside his pride and admitted to himself that he liked you all along instead of being mean and hurting you with his words.
Timing. It’s always about the damn timing.
But somehow, even now, as the chance to run after you and stop you slips through his fingers, he remains rooted to the spot like a statue, trapped by his own hesitation.
//
You sit in your apartment, tapping your foot against the floor, the faint rhythm filling the otherwise quiet room. You glance at your phone to check the time— 7:14 PM.
It’s Sunday evening and tonight is the night of the drive-in movie and Namjoon had promised to pick you up, along with your other friends. With the movie scheduled to start at 7:30 PM, worry begins to creep in as the minutes tick by with no sign of your friends.
Letting out a frustrated sigh, you get up from the couch. Deciding to head downstairs, you grab your shoes, figuring it’s better to wait outside rather than pacing your apartment like a caged animal.
Just as you slip them on, your phone buzzes with a message from Namjoon. “Here.” it reads. A small smile tugs at your lips as you grab your keys and step out, locking the door behind you.
As you step outside your building and onto the pavement, you immediately spot Namjoon’s car parked across the street, its tinted windows glinting under the lights. You allow yourself another smile, shaking your head lightly at his lateness, and make your way towards the car.
“Hey, what took you so lo—” The words catch in your throat, fading into silence as you open the car door and slip halfway inside. The face behind the wheel isn’t Namjoon’s.
You freeze, your hand gripping the edge of the doorframe, one foot still planted on the pavement outside. The air seems to thicken, time itself grinding to a halt as you stare at him.
Jungkook sits there, hands gripping the steering wheel, his dark eyes fixed on you with an intensity that sends a shiver down your spine. “Hey.” he says, his voice low and cautious. He offers a tight-lipped smile, but it falters, and you can see the tension in his jaw.
You blink, the shock rendering you immobile for a moment too long. Finally, your instincts kick in, and your body shifts as if to retreat. But Jungkook moves faster.
His hand reaches out, gently but firmly catching your wrist. “Wait.” he pleads, his voice suddenly louder, tinged with desperation. “I know… I know I’m the last person you expected to see.”
Your chest tightens, a flood of emotions crashing over you all at once. But his words stop you. “I know I screwed up...” he continues, his voice softer now, almost trembling.
“But… can you just... please... stay? Just watch the movie with me tonight. I… I begged your friend to let me borrow his car because I knew you’d get in if you thought it was him. I know that was weird and probably selfish, but I didn’t know how else to approach you.”
Your lips part, but no words come out. His hand, still holding your wrist, is warm, as your thoughts spiral. “I just… I need to talk to you. To be near you.” he says, his eyes searching yours, his vulnerability raw and unguarded. “Please... Please just give me this one night. One chance to make things right.”
The sincerity in his voice is undeniable, cutting through your walls like a blade. For a moment, you can only stare at him, your heart hammering in your chest.
With a heavy sigh, you shift your leg inside, settling into the passenger seat. You pull the door shut with a soft click, leaning back against the seat as you let out a shallow breath.
Jungkook watches you carefully, his grip on the steering wheel easing just slightly as relief washes over him. The tension in his shoulders loosens, though his eyes remain cautious, as if afraid one wrong move might shatter the delicate moment.
Without another word, he starts the car. The engine hums to life, filling the silence with its steady rhythm. As the vehicle begins to move, the atmosphere remains heavy, a mix of unspoken words and lingering emotions that neither of you dares to address... yet.
Your gaze remains fixed on the passing scenery, a blur of streetlights and faintly illuminated signs. Jungkook doesn’t dare break the silence, his grip on the steering wheel firm, knuckles taut as if anchoring himself.
It doesn’t take long before the car turns onto a gravel path, the tires crunching softly beneath them. You glance up, your attention pulled from the window by the faint glow of string lights strung overhead. They stretch out like a welcoming canopy, casting a warm, golden hue over the open field ahead.
Rows of cars are parked neatly on the wide, open lot, their occupants huddled inside, watching the massive screen that towers at the far end. It’s the typical drive-in movie setup, just like it's done every year... a sprawling outdoor space surrounded by trees, with a concession stand glowing warmly off to one side.
The screen flickers, signaling the movie is about to begin. Jungkook steers the car into an empty spot towards the back, away from the denser cluster of vehicles gathered closer to the center.
He turns off the engine, and for a brief moment, neither of you move. The quiet hum of the field surrounds you as your gaze remains fixed on the screen ahead, watching the movie’s opening sequence unfold.
Jungkook hesitates, his fingers hovering over the radio knob. “I’ll tune it to the station for the movie.” he murmurs, his voice tentative, as if testing the fragile peace between you. He twists the dial slowly, stopping only when the audio from the movie fills the car.
You turn your gaze out the window, watching the faint glow of the screen flicker across your features. The scene outside is almost idyllic... random couples perched on the hoods of their cars, wrapped up in each other’s warmth, sharing snacks as they watch the film.
Your chest tightens as the image before you clashes with the one you used to picture... you and Jungkook, sitting together just like this, cuddled up with his arm draped over your shoulders, laughing softly as you both watch the movie.
The sting in your heart is sharp, but you force yourself to look away, willing the ache to subside. You shift in your seat, eyes reluctantly focusing back on the movie playing on the big screen.
Then, near the gearshift, a faint buzz catches your attention, and almost instinctively, your eyes flicker to Jungkook's phone resting in the console. It’s probably just a random notification, but that’s not what holds your gaze. It's his lock screen.
It’s a photo. Of you. The one he took on your first date, when he playfully tucked wildflowers into your hair and insisted on capturing the moment.
Jungkook notices your silence and follows your gaze. The second he realizes what you’re looking at, his lips part slightly, and he shifts uncomfortably, unsure of what to say. With a nervous twitch, he flips his phone over, as though the simple action could erase what you just saw. But he can’t erase it. And neither can you.
A quiet tension thickens between you both. Jungkook leans back against the seat forcing himself to watch the movie, his posture stiff.
You, on the other hand, can feel your cheeks burning, a strange warmth spreading through you at the realization that he kept a picture of you as his lock screen. Of that moment. A picture you had no idea meant that much to him that he wanted to see it every time he unlocked his phone.
The movie plays on, but the sound seems to fade into the background, your thoughts swirling, caught in a delicate web of emotions you can’t untangle. Finally, you can’t hold it in anymore. "So..." you start, your voice hesitant but soft.
Jungkook’s head snaps towards you, a startled expression crossing his face, but he doesn't speak, waiting for you to continue. You keep your eyes fixed on the screen, avoiding his gaze, though your heart races. "When are you going to start talking?" You ask, the words hanging in the air, laced with a quiet challenge.
Jungkook feels the air escape from his lungs, realizing he can't stay silent any longer. In that moment, he knows he's the one who needs to speak up. If there's any hope of mending things with you, he has to step up... take action, be bold, and stop running from what he’s been avoiding. He has to stop being the coward he’s been.
"I..." he starts, his voice wavering slightly at first. "I thought you wanted to watch the movie. So I was saving it for later." He forces the words out, trying to sound steady, but his gaze flickers nervously.
You turn your head towards him, meeting his eyes with an intensity that makes his chest tighten. "Do you really think I’m worried about the movie when you’re right here?" you ask, your voice soft but firm, your gaze never leaving his.
"Jungkook, you got me here tonight. You asked me to join you. The movie is literally the last thing I care about." Your words settle in the car, quiet but weighty, as though they’ve landed somewhere deep inside his chest.
Jungkook stares into your eyes, the warmth and longing there making his heart ache. His eyes flicker over the familiar details of your face, and it lands on the scar on your head, hidden behind strands of hair. His breath hitches before he finally exhales, his shoulders slumping in defeat as he struggles to find the right words.
"I... I don’t even know where to begin...." he murmurs, closing his eyes momentarily, as if trying to summon the courage. "I thought… I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought if I broke up with you, and if Mingyu didn’t see us together anymore, he’d leave you alone." He opens his eyes slowly, locking them with yours as if he can’t bear to look away now.
"I really thought I was protecting you." He falters again, the weight of his emotions pressing against his chest. "I... I just wanted to keep you safe. That’s what I told myself, anyway. But looking back, I can see how stupid that was. So... so stupid." he adds, his voice breaking slightly.
"I didn’t realize the damage I was doing until you came to my shop that night. It wasn’t until I saw how hurt you were that I finally understood... the full extent of my mistake."
His eyes glisten with regret as he speaks, his voice trembling. "I felt like the biggest idiot. I didn’t even visit you in the hospital. And to make things worse... I was away fighting with Mingyu. Part of me still believes he deserved it, but I made a promise to you, Y/n, that I wouldn’t let myself get into fights... and I broke that promise."
Jungkook pauses, the silence stretching between you as the weight of his words settles deeper in the air. His breath is unsteady, his chest rising and falling, and you can feel the tremor in his hand as it reaches for yours, the touch tentative and unsure, as if afraid you might pull away.
"When I saw what those guys did to your shop... when I heard about you in the hospital... all I could think about was how I... how I led you into all this misery. How I added so many problems to your life." he murmurs, his voice thick with guilt and regret.
"I felt... so guilty. And I thought that maybe, the best thing I could do was let you go. To set you free from all the pain, the stress, the problems... even though it tore me apart inside."
His grip on your hand tightens, the warmth of his touch desperate, as though holding onto you is the only thing grounding him. His eyes, filled with shame, never leave yours. "I thought that was the only way. That if I stepped back, you'd be better off. But now... now I see how wrong I was. So... so fucking wrong."
A tear slips down your cheek, and despite the pain in his words, your heart aches for him. You want to tell him how wrong he is, how you could never be better off without him, how being apart from him feels like the worst kind of torment. But you hold your silence, letting him speak, letting him pour his heart out.
"I love you. I always have... ever since we got together, a part of me realized what I feel for you... is just... so much more." Jungkook continues, his voice strained. His eyes meet yours again, this time soft and tender, like he’s asking for forgiveness without speaking the words.
"Y/n... I know I messed up. I’ve been reckless. My stupid actions, my irrational decisions... they were all driven by fear, not logic. And in the process, I hurt you." His voice cracks as he takes a deep breath, the pain in his chest evident. "I thought I was the reason for everything going wrong. That it was all my fault. And that thought... it just destroyed me."
His thumb gently brushes over your knuckles, as if he needs that small, silent touch to remind him you're still here. His gaze never wavers from yours, his heart laid bare and raw. "But now I know. In the name of trying to protect you, I ended up hurting you the most... and I will always, always hate myself for it."
The sincerity in his voice, the rawness in his expression, pierces through the tension in the air. And in that moment, it’s clear... Jungkook is not just apologizing. He's laying his soul out before you, vulnerable and broken, desperate for you to understand the depth of his remorse.
"I'm sorry, Y/n." Jungkook finally chokes out, his tears falling freely now. "I'm sorry for everything. I wish I could take it all back, but I can’t. I’m just... so sorry for everything." His voice breaks as the weight of his remorse crashes down, and he crumples under the enormity of it.
He cries, his shoulders shuddering, and through your own blurry vision, you see the raw vulnerability etched across his face. It’s almost unbearable.
Carefully, you move your hand from his and reach out for him. Your palm gently presses against his cheek as your thumb softly wipes away his tears. "Shh..." you murmur, leaning closer towards him.
The space between you feels like it vanishes as you slide your arm around his trembling shoulders, pulling him into a comforting embrace. Jungkook doesn't hesitate as he clings to you desperately, his arms wrapping around you as if you’re his lifeline. Both of you pull each other closer, the familiar embrace engulfing the two of you.
"I’m sorry." he whispers again, his voice muffled as he buries his head in the crook of your neck. You feel the dampness of his tears soaking into the fabric of your top, but you don’t care.
All that matters now is the way his trembling form feels in your arms, vulnerable and seeking solace. You hold him tighter, your hand stroking his back in gentle, soothing circles as he sobs against you.
"Please... please take me back." he begs between ragged breaths. "I'll be... I'll be good to you. I’ll stay by your side, and I’ll never, ever leave you alone again." His voice cracks, each word drenched in desperation.
You continue stroking his back, letting him cry into your embrace, your own heart aching at how broken he sounds. "Please, Y/n." he pleads, his voice trembling with hope and fear. "Please tell me you still love me."
"I do... I do love you, Kook." you respond almost instantly, the words spilling from your lips before you even realize it. There’s no hesitation, no doubt. Just the truth. "How could I ever stop?" you whisper, your voice soft but steady.
Jungkook’s breath hitches, and his arms tighten around you as if he’s afraid you’ll disappear. He tugs you closer, bridging whatever small gap still exists between you, the console between your seats now inconsequential. His tears fall harder, but his sobs quiet just a little, as if your words had patched a part of the gaping hole in his heart.
//
As the ending credits roll and the movie comes to an end, you glance down at your intertwined fingers resting on your lap. You lift your gaze to him, only to find his eyes already on you.
Both of you take in the sight of each other... red, puffy eyes, tear-streaked cheeks, swollen lips. Despite the emotional wreckage, a soft chuckle escapes your lips, and Jungkook follows suit with a faint laugh of his own.
"I missed you." he whispers, his voice hoarse but steady, his grip on your hand tightening as though to anchor himself to this moment. "I missed you too." you reply, lifting his hand to your lips. You place a gentle kiss on his knuckles, the warmth of the gesture carrying all the words you can’t seem to form just yet.
Silence stretches between you, but it isn’t uncomfortable. It feels like a pause before a fragile moment you both want to hold onto for just a little longer. "I could never be better off without you, Kook." you suddenly confess, breaking the quiet.
"These past few days have been a living hell for me." Your voice wavers, but you push through. "I understood your intentions... I really did. But all I ever needed was you. Just you. To hold me, to tell me everything would be okay, even if it wasn’t. That’s all I wanted."
Jungkook’s adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard. He nods slowly, his glistening eyes brimming with understanding. "I know." he murmurs, his voice breaking slightly. "I know now. Yoongi hyung... he gave me a piece of his mind. He made me realize how wrong I was. How what you needed wasn’t someone to push you away in the name of protection, but someone who would stay. Someone who would stand by you when everything felt like it was falling apart."
A faint smile graces your lips as you hear his words. "He’s right." you whisper, your voice soft but resolute. Jungkook smiles in return, a small, fragile smile that carries the weight of his regret, the depth of his sorrow, and the immensity of his love.
Leaning over the console, you close the distance between you and press a gentle kiss to his lips. The kiss is soft, lingering, a balm to the wounds you’ve both carried. "I love you." you whisper against his lips, your voice barely audible but loud enough for him to hear the sincerity in your words.
Jungkook looks into your eyes and for a moment, it feels like his entire world revolves around you. You see the way his love for you shines through, raw and unfiltered, and it makes your heart ache in the best way.
When you lean back into your seat, Jungkook doesn’t let you go. This time, he leans forward, his hand cradling your cheek as he captures your lips in another kiss.
But this kiss... this kiss is unlike anything else. It’s not gentle, not cautious. It’s raw, consuming, and electric, charged with everything Jungkook has been holding back for far too long.
Regret seeps through his touch, sorrow lingers in the way his lips move against yours, but it’s love... overwhelming, all-encompassing love that takes over, folding you both into its intensity. And in that wordless exchange, there’s a promise, one you can feel in every breathless second.
You reach out instinctively, grabbing his wrist to steady yourself as the kiss deepens. The console between you feels like a meaningless barrier as Jungkook’s hands cup your face, his thumbs brushing your cheeks with a tenderness that contrasts the ferocity of his kiss.
He tilts his head, his nose grazing against yours, and the sensation sends a shiver racing down your spine. Your lips part slightly, inviting him in, and he doesn’t hesitate... his tongue brushes against yours, the intimacy making your head spin.
It’s dizzying, intoxicating, as though he’s trying to pour years worth of love, loss, and longing into this one moment. Every press of his lips feels like an apology, a plea for forgiveness, and a declaration all at once.
Your chest heaves as you match his fervor, your fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer. You can feel the desperation in the way he holds you, as if letting go would shatter the fragile thread binding you both together again.
When he abruptly pulls away, his breath comes in ragged gasps, his forehead resting against yours. "If we… if we keep going, I won’t be able to stop." he confesses, his voice low and trembling with restraint. "I’ve missed you too much, Y/n... I've missed you way too much."
Your heart pounds against your ribcage, his words igniting a fire within you. You lick your lips, tasting him there, and your gaze locks with his. "Let’s go to my place." you whisper, your voice soft but certain.
For a moment, he looks at you, as though trying to convince himself this is real. Then, with a shaky exhale, he nods, his hand slipping from your face to intertwine with yours. He presses a final, lingering kiss to your knuckles before starting the car.
//
You yelp in surprise as Jungkook tumbles onto the mattress with you, his weight pressing you into the softness of the sheets while his lips remain locked with yours. The world spins for a moment, the intensity of the kiss leaving you breathless and disoriented.
He nips at your lower lip, a soft, teasing bite that sends a jolt of electricity through your veins. You can’t help the way your hips instinctively buck upwards, the friction sparking a low groan from deep within his chest.
Your top rides up in the movement, exposing a sliver of your skin to the cool air. His fingertips find their way there, cold against the warmth of your skin, and the contrast makes you shiver.
He helps you take your shirt off and his fingers return to feel your skin, his touch is purposeful yet hesitant. "God, Y/n." he breathes against your lips, his voice hoarse and filled with longing.
His forehead rests against yours for a brief moment, his heavy breaths mingling with your own. "You have no idea how much I’ve missed this... missed you."
His words make your heart clench, and you reach up to tangle your fingers in his hair, pulling him back down into another searing kiss. This time, it’s slower, deeper, filled with all the emotion neither of you could put into words.
His hands trail along your sides, reverent in their touch, while his lips leave yours to press a path of soft kisses along your jawline, your neck, and the sensitive spot just below your ear.
Your fingers grip his shoulders, and you can’t help but whisper his name... a plea, a confession, a surrender. And as he murmurs yours in return, his voice thick with emotion, you realize that this isn’t just a reunion, it’s a rebirth. A rebirth of everything this once was.
Jungkook pulls back just enough to look at you, his dark eyes glistening with unspoken words. His thumb brushes tenderly against your cheek as he cups your face, his touch so delicate it feels like he’s afraid you might disappear if he lets go.
“This...” he whispers, his voice trembling slightly. “This feels like the first time I’m breathing again, Y/n. Like I’ve been holding my breath this whole time without you.” His words hit you with the weight of everything you’ve both endured.
Tears blur your vision, but you blink them away, wanting to see every inch of his face, to commit this moment to memory. “I don’t ever want to lose this again.” you reply softly, your voice cracking as you reach up to trace the line of his jaw. “I don’t ever want to lose you again, Jungkook.”
His lips curl into the faintest, most heartfelt smile, and he leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. “You won’t.” he vows, his voice steady now. “I won’t let go. I’ll hold onto you with everything I have, for as long as you’ll let me. I’ll prove it to you every single day.”
His words are a promise, one that you feel in the way his hands tremble slightly as they caress your skin, in the way his lips press against yours with a mixture of passion and reverence.
“I’ll let you.” you whisper back, threading your fingers through his hair and pulling him closer. “I’ll let you, as long as you let me hold onto you too.”
He kisses you slow again, as if he’s relishing every second of this rebirth. It’s not just a kiss... it’s an agreement, a merging of two hearts that have finally found their way back to each other.
Jungkook pulls back, his breathing heavy as he rises to his full height. His hands grip the hem of his shirt, and in one fluid motion, he tugs it over his head, tossing it aside without care. The sight makes your breath catch.
You prop yourself on your elbows, your eyes roaming over the expanse of his body, drinking him in like he’s a masterpiece come to life.
The faint sheen of sweat on his skin makes him glimmer faintly, accentuating every dip and curve, the sharp cut of his collarbones, the hard planes of his abs, and the faint v-line that disappears teasingly beneath the waistband of his boxers.
Your eyes linger on the way his jeans hang low on his hips, revealing just a sliver of the waistband of his boxers, and your throat tightens. You missed seeing him like this.
Jungkook catches the way your gaze darkens, and his lips quirk up in a faint smirk, though his own composure wavers when he sees the way you’re looking at him... like he’s the only thing that matters.
His dark eyes flicker down to you, taking their time as they trace the delicate curve of your collarbones, the way your bra frames your breasts, pushing them up just enough to make his mouth water. His gaze drops to your stomach, the smooth expanse of your skin, and the way your muscles tense under his scrutiny.
He exhales sharply, his hands clenching into fists at his sides as his gaze trails back up to your lips, then your eyes, his resolve crumbling. Your beauty just cannot be comprehended and his jeans suddenly feel unbearably tight, the outline of his hardened length pressing against the fabric painfully.
“Fuck...” he mutters under his breath, his voice low and strained, and you see the way his jaw tightens, the way his adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard. "If you keep looking at me like that..." he pauses, his eyes fixed on yours. "I'm going to lose it."
You gulp at his words and watch the way he steps back slightly, his hands moving to the button of his jeans. You watch as he undoes them with practiced ease, sliding the denim down his legs.
The thin fabric of his boxers does little to hide the extremely prominent bulge beneath, and your breath hitches as your eyes lock onto the way his hardened length strains against the material.
With one swift motion, he hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his boxers and slides them down, letting them pool at his feet. His length springs free, thick and hard, and your mouth goes dry at the sight of him... veined and heavy, the tip glistening faintly in the dim light.
Jungkook’s chest heaves as he takes a step closer, his hands moving to your legs. He hooks his fingers into the waistband of your skirt, tugging it down along with your underwear in one smooth motion.
“Fuck, Y/n... look at you.” he breathes, his voice almost reverent. His gaze locks onto your glistening core, the way it clenches around nothing, slick with arousal that almost drips onto the sheets. He drags his bottom lip between his teeth, his pupils blown wide as he takes in the sight before him.
His hands tremble slightly as they settle on your thighs, his thumbs brushing over your skin. “You’re... perfect.” he whispers as he leans in, his lips grazing the sensitive skin of your inner thigh as he takes a deep, shaky breath, the scent of your arousal making his head spin.
You whimper at the way he delicately touches you as you close your eyes, pressing your head against the mattress and your hands grasping for purchase on the sheets. "Fuck, Y/n…" he mumbles, his breath ghosting over your core and making you shiver. "Please... let me... let me taste you."
And before you can even form a coherent thought, he pulls your thighs apart and jerks you close until he’s right there, between your legs, his hot breath fluttering over your soaking wet core. “My gorgeous girl.” he murmurs, his eyes flickering up to yours as he drags a thumb through your folds.
He watches the way you bite onto your lower lip, your sweaty chest heaving, as he moves his hands up and down your slit. He notices the way you flinch at every movement, every touch. “So wet... So wet for me.” he groans, his thumb pressing against your clit.
Your jaw hangs open at the sensation and Jungkook wastes no time, diving in and pressing his open mouth to your slick center. You feel his tongue darting out, the wet glide of it sending sparks up your spine as he licks a slow circle around your clit.
“Fuck....” you cry out, your hips jerking as his tongue teases your bundle of nerves, the rough drag of it on your oversensitive flesh making you see stars. Your hands fly to his hair, tugging at the strands as you try to hold yourself up, your head spinning with the sensations flooding through you.
Jungkook moans into you, his tongue flickering out again, this time dragging slowly along your slit. He nuzzles into you, inhaling sharply at your scent, and you feel his nose press into your folds, his breath hot against your core.
“Oh fuck.” you pant, your legs shaking as he presses an open-mouthed kiss to your pussy, his tongue sneaking out to flick at your clit, the tip of it fluttering against the sensitive bundle of nerves with a feather-light touch.
Your thighs begin to quake as Jungkook laves you open-mouthed, his mouth hovering over your slit, his tongue lapping at your entrance. "Kook… please... Kook..." you plead, your voice cracking with need.
He looks up at you then as his mouth remains fixed on your core, and the sight takes your breath away. His eyes are heavy-lidded as he watches you. Your lips part, your breaths coming in short pants as he opens his mouth wider, devouring your opening.
His tongue darts out, the wet tip of it flicking over your entrance, and then he’s pushing inside, his mouth closing around you as he eats you out like he’s a starving man and you’re the only sustenance that will satisfy him.
"Fuck, Kook !!" you cry out, your hands scrabbling at the sheets as your head falls back and your eyes roll into the back of your head. You moan, your thighs trembling around his head as he fucks into you with his tongue, his mouth pressed open-mouthed against your core.
Jungkook groans into you, the vibrations making you cry out again as he licks into you, his hands holding you open as he feasts on you. His tongue flickers inside you, curling as it brushes against your inner walls, the sensation of it making your vision blur.
He eats you out for what feels like an eternity, his tongue sliding in and out of you in slow, sensual strokes. You’re close, so close to the edge, your pussy clenching and aching for more.
The way his name falls from your lips, over and over, like a mantra, sends a shiver down Jungkook’s spine. His tongue moves against you with practiced precision, each stroke and flick timed perfectly to the rhythm of your desperate cries.
When your legs begin to tremble uncontrollably, your hips bucking against his mouth, he knows you’re close, teetering on the edge of release.
And then it happens. Your orgasm crashes into you with the force of a tidal wave, leaving you gasping for air, your thighs trembling around his head as you arch off the bed. Jungkook groans against you, the vibrations only intensifying your pleasure as his tongue delves deeper, tasting every bit of you.
The tight flutter of your walls around his tongue drives him to the brink of madness. He’s painfully hard now, the strain unbearable as he grips himself, stroking his dick in time with your cries.
His breaths come out in ragged groans, muffled by the way your legs tighten around his head, your hands tangling in his hair and tugging just hard enough to make him growl.
“You’re perfect.” he murmurs against you, his voice husky and reverent, though he doesn’t stop. His tongue moves in long, slow laps, consuming you, drawing out every second of your release as your body quivers beneath him.
When you finally begin to come down, your body going limp and pliant, he doesn’t immediately pull away. He kisses you there, soft and tender, his lips pressing against your sensitive core as if to soothe the aftershocks coursing through you.
Jungkook rests his forehead against your thigh, his breathing heavy and labored as he looks up at you with hooded eyes. His lips are glistening, his cheeks flushed, and the sight of him... disheveled and utterly wrecked from pleasuring you, makes you want him even more.
He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, the sheen of your pleasure still glistening on his lips. His eyes meet yours, dark and smoldering with an unrelenting hunger that sends shivers coursing through your body.
Slowly, he leans forward, his lips brushing against your trembling thighs as though in reverence. His hands roam your hips, fingers pressing into the soft curves with a gentle possessiveness that leaves no doubt of his intentions.
“You’re so beautiful like this.” he murmurs, his voice thick with desire, tinged with awe, as if the sight of you unraveled beneath him is almost too much to bear.
He shifts his weight, moving away from your core, and you feel the absence of his heat like a loss. But then he’s hovering over you, his face so close you can feel his breath ghosting over your skin.
He captures your lips in a kiss that’s tender yet consuming, a prelude to everything he’s holding back. When he pulls away, it’s only to let his lips travel, a slow, meandering path along your jawline, each kiss lingering and full of love.
“I want to make love to you, Y/n.” he says, his voice barely above a whisper, yet the weight of his words presses into you as though they carry the force of a promise. “Let me make it up to you… for everything. Let me show you how much I love you.”
He doesn’t rush as he works to undo your bra, his hands steady. When the fabric falls away, his gaze locks onto your bare chest, and the intensity in his eyes makes your skin prickle with heat. His hands come up to cradle your breast, his thumbs brushing over the delicate curve of your skin and your nipple as though testing the reality of your softness beneath his touch.
“You’re perfect.” he breathes, the words spilling out like a confession before he lowers his head. His lips press against the swell of your breast, trailing kisses that are soft at first but grow more urgent as his need deepens.
His mouth finds your nipple, and he takes it between his lips, his tongue flicking over the sensitive peak in a rhythm that makes your breath hitch. His teeth graze ever so slightly, just enough to send a spark of pleasure rippling through you, and you gasp, your fingers tangling in his hair to hold him closer.
“Oh, God.” you moan, your voice trembling as he sucks on your nipple, his mouth working in perfect harmony with the hand that kneads and squeezes your other breast. His palm is warm, his touch firm but gentle, matching the worshipful pace of his lips.
Jungkook groans softly against your skin, the sound vibrating through you and adding another layer to the heady mix of sensations. He switches sides, lavishing the same attention on your other breast, and the deliberate care he takes makes your chest heave beneath him.
“Every inch of you...” he murmurs between kisses, his voice ragged and filled with adoration. “Every inch of you is mine to love.”
His words, his touch, the heat of his mouth... it’s all-consuming, drowning you in a storm of sensations that leave no room for thought, only the overwhelming awareness of him.
Your fingers clutch onto his shoulders as you arch against him, your breath coming in uneven gasps. Jungkook’s worshipful attention feels like a drug, intoxicating and overwhelming, and the heat pooling in your core is undeniable.
“Kook…” Your voice is shaky, a whispered plea, laced with desire and desperation. “Please… Please make love to me. I need you.”
The words ignite something primal in him. He pulls away from your chest, his lips glistening, a thin string of saliva trailing down his chin. His dark eyes fixate on you as you let your hands trail over your own body, fingers grazing the sensitive peaks of your breasts. You spread the remnants of his kisses over your skin, the gesture both sensual and wanton.
Jungkook gulps audibly as he watches you and his restraint shatters, his body thrumming with the need to claim you, to pour all his love and longing into this moment.
He shifts, stretching down the edge of the bed, his hands fumbling for his pants that remains scattered on the floor. His wallet slips out, and as he opens it, relief washes over him when he finds the condom he had tucked away weeks ago, back when you were still in his life.
He doesn’t question the serendipity, silently thanking the universe for this moment, for you.
With swift precision, he tears the wrapper, his fingers steady despite the fire coursing through his veins. He rolls the condom over his length and glides his hand up and down his hardness. Stroking it to full readiness, he lets out a shuddering breath, his eyes lifting to meet yours.
The way you’re watching him... your lips parted, your chest heaving, your legs spread in invitation, leaves him utterly undone. “Y/n…” he murmurs, crawling back towards you, his hands finding purchase on your hips. “I’m going to show you just how much I love you.”
"Show me, Kook..." you moan, your voice trembling with anticipation as his tip teases your slick folds. The sensation sends a shiver up your spine, and instinctively, you spread your legs wider, welcoming him, inviting him. He adjusts himself, his arms bracketing your head, his elbows pressed into the mattress to hold himself steady.
"I'm all... I'm all yours." you whisper, your voice breaking slightly, the vulnerability of your words hanging in the charged air between you. Your hands find his face, pulling him closer as you crane your neck, desperate to feel his lips on yours.
Jungkook doesn’t hesitate, his lips capturing yours in a kiss that’s both tender and consuming. His hand leaves the mattress, strong fingers gripping your hip as he adjusts your position slightly, angling you just right.
The intimacy of the touch makes your heart race, and you can feel the heat radiating off his body, the tension in his muscles as he restrains himself to not just slam into you. “You’re so perfect.” he murmurs against your lips.
His hand squeezes your hip gently as if grounding himself in the reality of you beneath him, of this moment. When he finally begins to push into you, the world seems to narrow down to just the two of you... the stretch, the way he fills you, the way he watches your face, searching for any sign of discomfort.
You gasp softly, your body tensing for a moment before relaxing into the pleasure of being connected to him in the most intimate way. Jungkook groans, his forehead dropping to rest against yours.
"Oh baby... I missed you... fuck..." he moans, his voice strained with effort, his breaths shallow as he inches deeper, giving you time to adjust to him. Your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him closer, urging him on.
Finally, he begins to move, each thrust slow and steady, as if he’s memorizing the way your body feels wrapped around him. His full length slides into you with precision, the stretch overwhelming yet addictive.
Your noses brush against each other with every movement, breaths mingling as he maintains his rhythmic pace, taking in every push, every thrust, every deep plunge that leaves you gasping for more.
Each time, he pulls out almost entirely, leaving you aching with the emptiness, only to push back in, filling you completely, sending waves of pleasure rippling through your body. It’s intoxicating, the way he moves, the care and passion in every motion.
As he continues, his gaze flickers over your face, watching the way your lips part with each gasp, the way your eyes flutter closed when the pleasure crests higher. He swallows hard, his resolve faltering for a moment before he adjusts his position. Carefully, he lifts one of your legs from his waist, guiding it to rest on his shoulder.
The new angle sends him deeper, hitting a spot within you that makes you cry out, your back arching off the bed as your fingers dig into his biceps. “Oh, Kook...” you whimper, your voice trembling as he leans into you, his body pressing you further into the mattress.
"That's it..." he murmurs, his voice rough with restraint as he watches your every reaction while supporting your leg on his shoulder. “You take me so well, baby....so... so fucking perfect.”
His other hand trails down to your hip, gripping it firmly as he begins to thrust a little harder, a little deeper, the pleasure building with every motion. The intensity grows, but he still takes his time, as if he’s savoring every second, every sound you make, every shiver that runs through your body.
The way he fills you, the stretch of your leg over his shoulder, the tender yet passionate way he moves... it’s overwhelming in the best way. Your hands slide down his arms, clutching at him desperately as he drives you closer to the edge, his pace unrelenting yet perfectly controlled.
“Jungkook...” you moan, your voice breaking as the tension in your core coils tighter and tighter. His name falls from your lips like a prayer, and he tilts his head, pressing a kiss to your ankle. “Faster… please… faster...” you cry out, your plea trembling in the air.
That’s all it takes for him to lose the last shred of restraint. With a growl low in his throat, he pulls you closer, his hands gripping your hips possessively as his pace shifts. His hips snap into you, each thrust harder and deeper.
Seconds blur into a haze of overwhelming sensation as he rams into you repeatedly, his tip brushing against a spot deep inside you... a spot you didn’t even know existed. The pleasure is all-consuming, stealing the breath from your lungs as your body arches into him, desperate for more.
Your vision blurs as you’re overtaken by the intensity, stars dancing behind your closed lids. “I love you… fuck, I love you so much.” he rasps, his voice raw with emotion and unfiltered passion. His hips move with an almost animalistic urgency now, his need for you reflected in every powerful thrust, in the way he fills you completely, over and over again.
The coil in your stomach tightens to the point of pain, an unbearable pressure building with every movement. Your hands claw at his shoulders, your head tossing back against the pillows as incoherent sounds pour from your lips, your body trembling beneath him.
“Jungkook… I’m… oh god…” you whimper, your nails digging into his skin as the pleasure pushes you to the brink, teetering on the edge of release that feels as though it might shatter you entirely.
Your nails dig into his shoulders, holding onto him as if he’s the only thing keeping you together. He groans at the sting of your touch, his hips slamming into you harder, deeper, as if he’s chasing the very essence of you.
“You’re... you're close, aren’t you?” he pants, his voice low and rough, sending a shiver down your spine. His hand slips between your bodies, his thumb finding your swollen, sensitive clit. He presses down with just the right amount of pressure, moving in firm circles that make your entire body jolt.
The combination of his thrusts and the attention on your clit sends you spiraling. Your legs tremble around him, and your walls flutter and clench tightly around his length. You cry out, your voice echoing in the room, your hands pulling him closer as if you want to fuse yourself to him.
“That’s it, baby... that's it... cum for me... let go.” he urges, his voice strained as he fights to keep himself together, his own release hanging by a thread. His thrusts grow erratic, each one deeper, harder, more consuming than the last, driving you closer and closer to the edge.
And then it happens. The coil in your stomach snaps, your orgasm crashing into you with a force that steals your breath. Your vision goes white, your entire body arching into him as waves of ecstasy ripple through you, leaving you trembling and crying out his name like a prayer.
“Fuck, you’re perfect.” Jungkook groans as your walls tighten around him, gripping him like a vice. The sensation sends him over the edge. He buries himself as deep as he can go, his hips stilling as his own release takes over, his groans blending with your cries.
The two of you ride out the aftershocks together, his forehead pressed to yours as your breathing mingles, heavy and uneven. The world feels still, the only sound in the room your shared pants and the faint thrum of your hearts, beating in perfect sync.
//
The soft glow of the bedside lamp casts a golden hue over your room, as your head rests on his bicep. Your fingers absentmindedly play with his as your eyes trace the intricate lines of his tattoos, the delicate patterns swirling along his forearm.
After the intimacy of a warm shower and the tender care Jungkook showed you, the two of you are back on the freshly made bed. The clean, cool sheets are a stark contrast to the heat that still lingers between you, your bare skin pressed to his.
His leg lazily drapes over yours beneath the blanket, an unconscious gesture that speaks of his need to be as close to you as possible.
Jungkook leans in, the weight of his gaze melting away any lingering tension. He presses a kiss to your temple, soft and lingering, before letting his lips brush against the scar on your head... a mark of something from the past, but no longer painful. “I love you.” he whispers, his voice low and full of sincerity.
You tilt your head back to meet his eyes, your own gaze softening. Slowly, you let go of his hand, shifting your body to face him fully. The blanket shifts with you as you wrap an arm around his torso, pulling yourself closer to him.
“I love you too.” you murmur, your voice steady, carrying the weight of your feelings. You move your head closer to his chest, listening to the rhythmic beating of his heart. His arms encircle you, tugging you closer and holding you as though he never wants to let go.
And in that moment, as the soft embrace of sleep slowly begins to claim both of you, there is a quiet realization that settles in the spaces between your breaths. It’s as though the universe, in its infinite wisdom, has woven the intricate threads of time, bringing you here.
From the days when you were nothing more than neighboring shop owners, each a stranger in the other’s world, to the sharp edges of misunderstandings, to the heated arguments that filled the air with tension. You both once couldn’t stand the mere sight of each other... two souls so different, so distant.
But somehow, through all of that, life found a way to stitch your paths together. From those moments of rivalry at the town fair meetings, when every second seemed to breed another reason for dispute, to this quiet, intimate space where the mere thought of separation feels impossible.
Now, neither of you can seem to imagine a world where the other doesn’t exist. It’s as though your lives were always meant to be interwoven, intricately and beautifully, like the finest of tapestries.
Life has a strange way of bringing two opposing forces together, testing them in ways they never expected, only to reveal the most beautiful of connections.
It pushes and pulls, and in doing so, helps them untangle the complexities of their relationship. It compels them to find the purpose behind their presence in each other’s life... why it was always meant to be, why the stars aligned, even when they didn’t know what they were meant to see.
And through the rough roads, where his rusty bike and prickly tires rattled against the cobblestones, and through the vibrant scent of flowers that lingered in the air, the softness of leaves brushing against your fingers, you both have found something more profound and beautiful than you could ever imagine.
Something that only exists when two souls, through time and struggle, find each other and discover the home they never knew they were looking for.
Post Credits Scene
Yoongi stands in the dimly lit alley, the old baseball racket twirling lazily in his hand. Mingyu, Kihyun, and Jaemin are slumped against the cold brick wall, their faces battered, their hair disheveled, fear radiating from their wide eyes.
The faint hum of a flickering streetlight overhead makes the silence between them even heavier. Yoongi crouches down, his sharp gaze locking onto theirs, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “What did I say?” he asks, his voice calm but dripping with menace.
The men exchange nervous glances, their bruised faces pale under the weak light. Mingyu opens his mouth to respond, but a sharp pang from his injured ankle makes him wince and falter. Yoongi tilts his head, his smirk widening as he taps the racket lightly against the ground. “I’m waiting.” he says, his tone almost teasing.
“Never...” Mingyu manages, his voice hoarse, but the pain makes it hard to continue. “Go on...” Yoongi urges, his voice dropping an octave, the smirk now a warning.
“We’ll never bother Jungkook and Y/n again !!” Kihyun blurts out, his hands rubbing together in a desperate gesture, like he’s begging for mercy. Yoongi rises slowly, letting out a soft chuckle as he swings the racket onto his shoulder, causing all three men to flinch. “Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?”
The men dare to breathe, thinking the ordeal might finally be over. But Yoongi’s sharp eyes narrow as he steps closer, towering over them. The smirk vanishes, replaced by a cold, calculating look that makes the air feel oppressive.
“Now...” he says, his voice trailing off. “Do I have to beat you guys up all over again, or will you give me Jungkook’s keys?”
<- part 15
—fin. ♡ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ౨ৎ ‧₊ .ᐟ
series masterlist
my masterlist <3
taglist: @kimyishin @ghijkd @dolligguk @mimi1097 @jksusawife @yooforeaa @abbie1847 @myjungkookthighs @thesarcasmqueen-22 @fairypjminie @lovelytaes-blog @jjeonjjk7 @daddyjeonnn @vantelover1306 @jeeykey @shellyyy177 @daskewl @blackswan18 @korian97 @minimoninini @ericawantstoescape @rpwprpwprpwprw @tokkiggukie @jaytheatiny
#jungkook fic#jungkook#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x reader#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#jeon jungkook#bts#bts jungkook#bts fic#enemies to lovers#jungkook fanfiction#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook imagine#jungkook x oc#jungkook x original character#jungkook x y/n#jungkook scenarios
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helloooo! :D I wanted to ask if you’d ever write for cas? It’s completely okay if not, only do what YOU want <33
BUT I also had a thought so hear me out:
Dean calling the reader a pet name for the first time, and not really realizing what he said but the reader is just like 😵💫 all blushy caught off guard because THE Dean Winchester just called her honey as if they didn’t confess like a week ago 🧍🏻♀️
remember to eat and hydrate, I hope you sleep well too💙
-💫
⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆🔧 honey,
summary. you're dean's honey .ᐟ
pairing. dean winchester x reader
wordcount. 469
notes. this is just wholesome and... relatable. and i'd definitely be down to write for our sweet sassy angel cas! do you have a specific scenario in mind? 👀
The clang of tools against the Impala’s hood fills the garage, a melody as familiar as breathing. You’re perched on a stool nearby, half-focused on the book in your lap, but mostly on Dean. His hands move deftly as he tinkers under the hood, a smear of grease streaked across his jaw.
“Pass me the wrench, would ya?” he says, glancing at you with those green eyes that always manage to make your stomach flutter.
You nod, leaning over the workbench to grab it. When you hand it to him, his fingers brush yours—just a brief, fleeting touch, but enough to send a spark racing through you.
“Thanks, honey,” he mutters absently, turning back to the car.
Your brain short-circuits.
Honey?
Did Dean Winchester just call you honey?
You blink, replaying the moment in your head to make sure you didn’t imagine it. No, you’re sure of it. He said it so casually, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
The book in your lap is forgotten as you try to process the anomaly. A week ago, you and Dean finally confessed your feelings for each other, and while things have been a bit more... touchy-feely, this? This is new.
“Uh… you good over there?” Dean’s voice breaks through your spiraling thoughts. He glances at you again, brows furrowed slightly.
“Huh? Oh, yeah, totally fine,” you blurt, your face heating up.
He smirks, the corner of his mouth twitching like he knows exactly what he’s doing to you. “You sure? You’re lookin’ a little pink.”
“I’m not pink,” you mumble, pulling the book back into your lap and staring at it like it holds the secrets to the universe.
Dean shrugs, clearly oblivious to the bombshell he’s just dropped on you, and goes back to work. But the damage is done. The word honey keeps bouncing around in your head, making your heart race and your palms sweaty.
Minutes pass, and you try desperately to regain your composure. But then Dean turns to you again, wiping his hands on a rag. “You wanna grab lunch? Burgers sound good?”
“Sure,” you manage, your voice a little too high.
Dean tilts his head, his smirk widening. “Seriously, what’s up with you? You’re acting weird.”
“I’m not acting weird,” you protest, even though you’re about two seconds away from combusting.
“Uh-huh,” he says, clearly unconvinced. “C’mon, let’s go, honey.”
There it is again.
You let out a small squeak, your cheeks flaming as you follow him out of the garage. Dean doesn’t even notice, but you’re left reeling, wondering how someone can casually call you honey and not realize they’re turning you into a puddle.
And as you climb into the passenger seat of the Impala, you can’t help but smile, even through your embarrassment. You're Dean Winchester’s honey.
want be part of the taglist.ᐣ ⋆.˚ ★— @iloveeveryoneyoureamazing ⋆ @deans-daydream ⋆ @ariasong11 ⋆ @ambiguous-avery ⋆ @krabog ⋆ @itsdearapril ⋆ @nymphet-quenn ⋆ @bluemerakis ⋆ @titsout4jackles
#dean winchester#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x you#dean winchester fluff#dean winchester fic#supernatural#.docx#.req
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Keep This Low Key
💜 Pairings: Choso x F!reader Rating: Explicit- MDNI
💜 Contents/Warnings: Very emotional at first, but then it lightens up and gets sweet. Light angst, heavy at the beginning, forgiveness and trying for each other, a little jealousy and hurt, lots of kissing, fingering, oral (f recieving), lots of sexual tension and feelings
💜 Word Count: this chap - 10k (long one)
💜 Summary: You have been Choso's best friend for years, and one night he has a date with Yuki, his girlfriend, while you have a date with Ino, your boyfriend, only for them both to break up with you at the same time! You all think of calling each other, but run right into each other. Choso brings you home since you didn't even have your car, and you two are crying over a couple beers and a silly movie, only to have a sudden idea. Why not say fuck dating, fuck heartbreak, and just fuck each other?
No drama, no mess, no upset, and you two are such good friends, nothing can go wrong, right? The only agreement is no feelings, and if you all find a s/o, you'll end things. But the moment Choso opens his heart to you, and the moment you start falling, things get messy, as you realize he's the best you've had, and you're falling hard. Will you all stay friends, become more, or will everything blow up?
✨️Comments and reblogs appreciated if you enjoy- A/N- I attempt to write a song, I am sure I failed be nice abt it lol! ✨️
Chapter Four 💜 Masterlist 💜 Playlist 💜
Chapter Five
It has been two weeks since you spoke or saw Choso. He finally stopped texting and calling a few days ago, finally stopped showing up at your work every morning with that cup of coffee that you asked your coworkers to take instead. You don't even look or respond to him, it's too far gone, it's too much.
You don't respond to Satoru either, he was clearly there for fun, which is fine but you can't believe what you've done. After being so set on sex being this end all be all, Ino’s dumping you so soon after clearly fucked you up, and hopping in bed with Choso had been the biggest mistake.
You are out with Utahime at the club, dancing together and giggling, enjoying her so much, even as you miss Choso like you live and breathe. It's all too much, and you don't know if you can ever repair what has happened, to undo the tangled mess you both had become.
You're not putting fault all on him, but you're still hurt by him. You didn't go to his concert, you hate yourself for that, but it would hurt too much to see. You sent good luck necklaces to the three of them with a note saying you were sick (you especially hate to let the boys down too) but there's not much hope for it, not when you can't stomach facing him.
If you never kissed him, you maybe could have lived your life just fine, if you never had him look at you that way, if you never slept in his arms, you could have said it was friendship. But now, even your strong, fourteen year friendship is hopelessly gone.
Take a shot.
Dance.
Laugh
Take a shot.
Take a selfie with Utahime.
Dance more.
Laugh.
Hollow laughter, laughter that rings just wrong, your eyes aren't as bright when you look in the mirror, but you think you can puzzle together the pieces.
Men flirt.
You ignore it.
Have a drink now.
Dance under the strobe lights.
Laugh.
You're almost human, or at least you're pretending to be, and it almost works, buzzed off your ass and dancing with her helps, giggling as you all walk out in your heels to your ride helps. Taking more selfies and giggling at the reacting on Insta helps, you feel good…
Well, almost.
Choso haunts all of your damn thoughts, it’s like you can’t even imagine things before him, like this gaping hole in your chest. You are tipsy when you get home, images flash as you walk through the door, Choso holding you against it, him on his knees in front of you. Then more images of Satoru, which make you sick.
You never thought actually doing something with the guy you had it bad for since forever would bring you down so badly, it made everything snap into place, things that didn’t make any sense in your mind. It was never just sex with Choso, not from the moment he kissed you and called you beautiful, because you know what ‘just sex’ is, Choso was beyond it.
Now there was nothing left between you.
Choso hearts your pictures, and something shifts, something almost makes you sick about it, not talking to him. You crave to just forgive and forget, to act like this friendship is fixable, to act unbothered, but you can’t just go back now. The decision was made when he first kissed you on that couch, when his tongue ring clicked on your teeth, when his big hands brushed against your waist.
You see his IG is Amber free, and hers is Choso free. You don't know what that means but you can't bring yourself to care anymore, you'd tried to make any sense of any of this and have failed. When you think too much about it, about your decisions, you sob so hard your eyes burn, your cheeks sticky.
You wash your face, put your hair up into a bun, you go back to all of your routines, without Cho Bear things don't really bring you the same joy, but finally you think you can let some of the heartache mend. Snatching up a book and your favorite plush, you snuggle on the couch, buzzed and dizzy. Luckily Satoru doesn't bother you, just a dick pic here and there, you roll your eyes at him.
He was good at what he did, fuck he was real good, but it was not what you wanted, it was what you thought you had to do, to prove something to yourself, that you were inexperienced and overthinking it. But, you were wrong. Choso pushes you to your worst, and you just can't let it continue, you can’t be that girl.
Choso calls, you go to hang up and accidentally hit answer, cursing quietly, hearing the hope in his voice as he says your name.
“What is it?” You ask, tone soft but cold, you haven't talked and don't want to.
“I know you hate me, and I don't blame you. You should.” You tear up as you hear his voice breaking.
“I don't hate you, I just can't be in your life. I'm sorry.” You sniffle, hiccuping on a cry when you set your book down.
“Will we ever be friends again?”
“I don't think so, but it's not all your fault. We both fucked up.” Choso sighs over the phone, you imagine him in your mind's eye. Sexy and shirtless maybe? Low hanging sweats? Is his hair loose and long?
“I haven't talked to Amber. I never will again.” You blink now.
“It doesn't matter.”
“It does! It does. What I did was horrible to you.”
“It's over now. Don't dwell on this. I have to go.”
“Please, please… anything I could do to make you smile again. I hate that I caused this.” You sigh shakily as you hear his crying over the phone. It almost gets to you.
“I'm okay, I promise. Choso I'll always care, I'll always be rooting for you-”
“Please, please… please forgive me.”
“I do. I'm not angry. I'm sad.” You cover your face, choking on your sobs as he does. “I don't hate you not one bit.”
“I hate myself.” You shake your head and can't stop the sobs from wracking your body.
“I know that feeling well.” You both take a breath, both hating what you've lost. “But I promise I don’t hate you, I couldn’t. Take care, please.” Your voice is just a whisper, but he hears you.
“Please, anything, I will do anything, let me make it up. Let me fix it!? I know I'm stupid, I know I was wrong. Please.” His heartbreak in his voice makes it crack over the phone, you’re devastated then.
“Just let it go, okay? Let it go.”
“I don’t want to let you go. I-”
“Good night.” You hang up quickly, cutting off whatever words could wreck your resolve, your hands violently shaking, you press them between your thighs, staring as the phone rings.
Cho Bear.
Will you miss him forever?
*****
It’s been three weeks since you last spoke to Choso now, he quit calling finally, it’s sort of like it was when you were with Ino, when you two couldn’t keep your friendship, but it’s worse because you know what you could have. God, to have even been able to go on a date with him? To imagine building something so beautiful, but instead you’ve ruined it all.
You’re shocked when Megumi and Yuuji are knocking on your door, you stand there still when Yuuji barrels you with a big hug. You sigh, hugging him back, Megumi snakes an arm around you after as well, you almost tear up a bit, thinking of how close all four of you have been so long.
“I missed you two.” You say softly, shutting the door then. “What brings you all over here?”
Yuuji swipes a hand through his pastel locks. “What did Cho do so bad that it’s been three weeks of you ignoring him?”
“Yuuji…” Megumi says with a sigh, dark eyes looking at you seriously. “What he means to say is Choso misses you, bad.”
“He’s so depressed he won’t even play.” You blink at that, looking away then.
“Won’t play? When has Choso not played?”
“He won’t even leave his room aside from work.” Megumi says, your heart breaks further and further.
“I… we can’t be friends. I’m sorry, you two.”
“What, why!? You’ve been friends almost my entire life? As long as I can remember.”
“Yuuji…”
“Did you two…” Megumi trails off, you blush furiously then. “Oh.”
“Oh what? Did what?” Yuuji’s voice annoys Megumi clearly then.
“Tch, just stop.” He looks at you now, seriously. “Is it that bad?”
You nod quietly, sighing and shutting your eyes. “He wouldn’t wanna see me anyway.”
“That’s not true, not at all. Please, just come over, you don’t even have to hang out with him, just let him see you.” Yuuji begs, yanking on her hand now, pulling you towards him so his hands can rest on your shoulders. “You’re his best friend in the world, you can’t just not be one anymore.”
“You wouldn’t understand.” Your tears start running before you can stop them, Yuuji frowns, Megumi brushes a hand up and down your back. “I don’t think me and Cho can fix it.”
“So start new.” Megumi’s voice stuns you. “Start fresh, whatever happened you two can get over it. Have you never had problems, fights?”
“Of course we have. I… I’m scared to even face him.” You cover your face and start crying then, letting the weeks of despair fall out with tears as they comfort you. “Guys I can’t.”
“Just spend time with all of us. I know it would brighten his day, you don’t know how bad it is.” Yuuji’s voice breaks just a bit, and then you realize, Choso must be hurting as much as you are.
“Let me get myself together and I’ll head over.” You say with a small smile, emotional as you think of seeing him again.
Could you all ever go back to being friends, when you are so in love with him… love, yes.
Love.
You’re hopelessly in love with your former best friend, how would you play it casual, how could you even face him?
*****
Choso can’t stand not seeing you, not hearing your voice or your little laugh, god he misses your scent, your presence, your everything. Even if he couldn’t see you, he used to swing by and give you that coffee, and you turned every cup down, not even acknowledging him. The heartbreaking call last week had him finally giving up, realizing he had done too much damage.
How could he hurt you like this?
He thinks back now, to all the signals you gave, to all the clues where he has been so clueless. Choso never got attention from girls, a shy guy, a nerdy guy, it’s been the past couple of years he’s gotten popular with his band. He didn’t realize Amber was that insane over him so quickly, and even so, he saw that hurt on your face before the incident in the car.
He told you one thing but did another, and of course you’re done with him, of course you probably went home with Gojo that night, how could he blame you? There you were, painting things clearly, and here he was, not understanding a thing you meant, like the words couldn’t compute, he couldn’t fathom you felt that way.
Choso has barely left his home for the past three weeks, but for the past week he has barely left his room, guitars unplayed, notebooks left unwritten and sprawled all around his room. He can barely eat or think of anything but you, aching to call you, to see you, but he knows he can’t anymore, he knows he’d just be doing more damage, how could he be so foolish?
The doors open of his room and he grimaces then, as his little brother keeps trying to energetically get him out of the house, to give him all this hope that you two could make up, as if it’s even possible. He blinks and covers his face with his plaid blanket.
“Go away.”
“Cho?” He hears your voice then, making him jump up out of bed, sheets all rumpled and a mess, thinking he’s dreaming.
But you’re there.
You’re here.
Your eyes look just a little puffy, your lips trembling as you see him, he tries to smooth his hair, knowing he probably looks terrible, he hasn’t even showered in days he’s just rotted away. Choso struggles to pull himself together, walking towards you then, and he sees it, you’re trembling, as if you can’t even handle this, seeing him again.
But he was wrong.
When you see him like this, a whole mess and so depressed, it destroys your heart, you can’t take it, even as much as you both had messed up here, he was your closest friend in the world. He was always by your side through your heartbreaks, and you were by his side, and now? You were both suffering alone, and for what, for the fear of not forgiving each other?
Choso doesn’t even know what you’ve done, he doesn’t know you were just as bad as him, maybe worse. No, you two don’t date, but it felt wrong, what both of you did, especially in your heart, you didn’t do it for fun, you did it for some petty sense of revenge, and now it’s hard to face him, but you do. You face your best friend who looks like a mess, with his eyes glimmering with tears.
It’s quiet then, Megumi clears his throat. “Let’s give you both a minute, maybe you can make him shower?”
Yuuji nods. “Please do.”
They leave, shutting the door to Choso’s room, a room the last time you were in that he had sex with you, but was it sex? Or did he make love to you?
How he’d stared into your eyes, cupped your face so gently, how he’d asked every moment if things felt good, if you were okay. The memories make you ache, and not just physically, they make you ache for all of him, for his sweet smile again, for him to just hold you in his arms. You’re just standing there, and so is he, you both open your mouths, then shut them.
He’s clenching his fists, stepping closer now, terrified you’ll just run away, but you don’t. You stay there, looking at him, as he feels emotions in his throat, as the tears begin to fall. He steps a little closer, and you let him, giving him the silent go ahead to approach you further, your chest rising and falling with your breaths as they come faster and faster.
Another step, and your boots are toe to toe with his bare feet, and Choso is looking down at you, his hands hovering just above your shoulders, as if he’s scared to touch you. You feel the sobs building in your chest now, not a word is spoken, but seeing your best friend who you love in tears, along with your own regrets makes you break apart.
“You’re here.” He says your name then, and you break into tears when he pulls you against him for a hug, those tight ones in his strong arms you’ve loved forever, you feel so safe, so right. He’s stroking your hair, pressing you against his chest as your arms wrap his chest. “I didn’t know if I’d… if I’d… see you…”
He’s sobbing out his words, you look up through your tears, seeing him, his stubble, his dark circles as you sniffle. “I’m here, Cho.”
“Feel like I’m dreaming of you.” He squeezes you so tightly, but you crave it, you love it, against him finally.
The room is quiet, aside from both of you quietly crying, sniffling and laughing softly when you look at each other. “You do need a bath, gosh.”
“Hush.” He’s smiling, that heartbreakingly sweet smile you’ve come to love, but you have to pull back a bit, taking a breath, eyes fluttering shut when he cups your face, like you’re precious. “I missed your pretty face.”
“Did you?” You tease softly, opening your eyes, burning from tears.
“I’m so sorry for everything, I am sorry I didn’t listen, that I hurt you.” You feel almost sick now, shaking your head. “I fucked it all up, I did-”
“We both did. I have to tell you something.” He nods then, shoving aside a bunch of things to clear you a seat in his gaming chair, pulling you by it, arms on either side of you as he sits on the bed.
“Anything.”
You take a breath, hoping it will help you, but you feel sick thinking of it. “I was intimate with Gojo.”
Choso blinks long lashes, frowning before nodding. “I figured, that night maybe you slept with him?” He tries to hide the hurt in his voice, but fails.
“I didn’t have sex but… um… oral.” You feel like sinking into the goddamn carpet below you, Choso clears his throat, looking away for a moment.
“I figured so, but was it because you wanted to? Was it because he’s Gojo, an old fling? Was it… for fun? Or… was it because I pushed you there?” His heartbreak is so clear it affects you physically, you’re shifting in the seat, fiddling with your hair, sighing nervously.
“It was my decision, but it was based on seeing her with you, it hurt so bad, but it’s no excuse. I acted on impulse and felt awful.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t feel bad, please.”
“Cho I… we…”
“It’s because of me.”
“It’s not!”
“You always try to defend me, even when I’m wrong, and I was so wrong here. You tried to tell me.”
You’re nodding through more tears, he rests his forehead on yours, as you both take shaky breaths. “I did try to tell you, but now I don’t know what to do, how can we go back to how it was?”
“I don’t know but I’ll do anything, be anything for you.” Your eyes lock, his a glittering violet, dark sooty lashes wet and spiky over them.
“Maybe we should start new?” You ask softly.
“As friends?”
“I don’t know, maybe something else.” Your brace yourself for impact, but his next words fill you with so much hope.
“How about… we go on a date.”
“A date?” You blink in confusion.
“A date, me and you, I am asking you on a date. A real one, a proper one, and we get to know each other as… maybe more.” Your heart races then, you feel it, the giddiness at the thought, but then the guilt.
“You wanna date me? After what I did?” Your voice is breaking, you’re no better than him really, maybe you’re worse? What he did casually, you did in retaliation.
“Oh, sweetie…” He brushes your hair back gently, it feels so good, so perfect then, in his room, with his touch. “You did nothing wrong to me, I think it felt wrong for you though?”
“It felt wrong, so wrong. I hate myself for it.” You’re just a breath away from his lips, but both of you hold that inch apart, you bite your lower lip, his eyes dart to it, but he stays that distance.
“What you did makes sense, I’m just sorry I made you feel you had to. I don’t want games, or hurting each other anymore, please. Let’s just have a date, and if you like me, we’ll do another.” You giggle then, the sound makes his heart swell, it makes him so fucking happy, to see how it lights up your face, even as he brushes tears away, thumbs with faded black polish barely on.
“So we’re going to take things slow?” You whisper, hands gliding up his chest, making him tense then.
“Yes, you deserve slow, you deserve to be treated right, and to choose what you want. If it’s me or not, I think we should try, what’s here, this connection? It’s…”
“Epic.” He smiles then, nodding, thumb brushing against your jaw now.
“I’d die to kiss you but I’d like to earn it, please.”
“It better be something nice, now. And you’re paying.” He grins, you’re wiping his tears now, running your hand through his dark messy locks.
“I’ll pay, don’t worry. Will you wear something that shows off that perfect body of yours?”
“I could be persuaded to. But you’ll be a gentleman.”
He nods, holding your little hand over his chest. “I will be.”
You feel it, the flutters in your tummy, at the thought of something like this, it seems so silly, but you’re giddy, hopeful. “So we’re… gonna go on a date.”
“Tonight.”
“You absolutely need to shower then, I can’t with all this.” You tease, he pulls you against him tightly, kissing your cheek, your temple, hugging you just so, you feel his heartbeat on your cheek.
“I wish you could get in there, fuck I miss every bit of you.” He exhales, you feel his words hit your core, you’re aching now, clinging to him.
“I miss it too.” You look back up now at him, smiling as you both just sit there, quietly. “I’m sorry Choso.”
“I’m sorry, angel. So sorry.” You nod, trying to pull yourself together then, brushing your cheeks with shaky hands. “I will not ever let you down again, even if you hate this date, even if you decide we should be acquaintances, just any part of your life you have me in, I’ll follow.”
“Shh.” You kiss his cheek now, cheeks that tinge pink under the light brush of your lips. “You text the time, and I’ll be ready. Oh, and you better shave.”
“I will.” You smile so pretty at him, as Choso’s mind whirls once you leave. A date with you, he needs it to be perfect.
You came to him, you were real.
Yuuji and Megumi burst in now, and Choso has this silly grin on his face, much to their relief. “You better not fuck this date up.”
“You all were listening!?”
“Just to some of it! Choso!”
Megumi snorts. “He’s gonna kill you, Yuuji.”
*****
Choso pulls up in his little Mustang, you stand there so nervous in the night, having gone over twenty outfits before landing on a little black dress, you figure you can’t go wrong with that. It’s lacy on the chest, it cinches just so in the waist and flares out flirtatious, along with a black jacket since the night has a chill. You see his mouth drop when he gets out of the car, making you flush.
“You’re so beautiful.” He says softly, like he’s in awe, it makes you feel beautiful then, Choso makes you feel so much, like you are so special.
“You look handsome, Cho.” You smile up at him, taking in his black dress shirt and slacks, fitting his muscled frame so sexy. “I’ve never seen you dressed up like this? Where’d you get these?”
“Put away from a wedding.” He admits, you giggle then, the sound brightening his world, as he takes in your gorgeous face. “Your makeup is beautiful too.”
“Oh thank you! Youtube tutorial.” He grins, brushing his fingers along the backs of your cheek then.
“You nailed that shit.”
“I missed the fuck out of you.” He nods, leaning so close, dying to kiss you, but you deserve the night, a night all about you, to take it slow, so he pecks a kiss on your hand, taking it in his. “Gentleman Cho?”
“Mmhmm. My lady.” He teases, your pulse flutters in your throat as he opens the car door for you now, making a show of dramatically bowing. His hand is on your thigh when he’s driving, yours brushes the backs of his knuckles, so much still left unsaid between you, but the comfort of each other overpowers it.
“Where are we going, Sir?” He exhales, not able to handle you calling him Sir because fuck the thoughts going through his head are insane now.
“We’ll be there soon, I think you’ll like it though?”
“I’m nervous.”
“Me too.” He admits, looking at you as the lights of cars drive by, reflecting against your pretty face as he drives you through the night, catching each one of your features just so every time. “Breathtaking.”
“Oh stop.” He hums a bit, big hands squeezing your thigh gently, thumb brushing along your inner thigh now, you shift just a bit. “Thank you.”
“Thank you for being so pretty.”
“Whatever, you’re too much.” You roll your eyes and his laugh fills the car. “I hated it, Cho, being apart.”
He exhales now, grip tightening. “God, me too. I couldn’t bear it, not at least seeing you for that one minute in the morning, it hurt.”
You feel the pain in his voice, no matter how much he tries to hide it from you. “I couldn’t…”
“It’s okay, angel. I understand. You’re probably still hurting, but you’re here.”
“I am here. Terrified.”
“Me too.” Choso pulls up now, and you see it, a beautiful boat in the night, making you gasp at it.
“What!? Oh gosh, I expected a movie?”
“I thought we could have dinner here and just… talk? Relax together? Enjoy the view.” You nod excitedly, and soon you’re walking along the planks, alongside couples strolling arm and arm, Choso watches you carefully, as the breeze blows your hair around your face.
You look like art to him.
You are art to him.
“It’s gorgeous here my god!” Your hands are on the railing, looking up at the clear night sky, the gentle waves of the ocean rolling. Choso can’t keep his eyes off of you, when he agrees.
“Gorgeous.” You look to him then, heating up at his insinuation, at the way he’s looking at you so sweetly, so enamored. “I never meant to make you…”
“It’s fine, Cho.”
“No.” He tilts your chin up, with two long fingers, making you look up at him now. “I never meant to make you feel less than. Not good enough, or worthy enough, you’re worth everything.”
“Gonna make me cry right now?” You whisper, lips trembling, he aches to brush them against his, aches to make every part of you covered in his kisses.
“Just know I appreciate this night, even if it's only once.”
“Hush, Cho bear.” The nickname, so silly and cute, hits him with the nostalgia, of all the years you both were the best of friends, giggling and spending every moment together.
“I’ll hush then, let’s go eat.”
You find yourself across the table from him, you’re nervously eyeing the menu, eyes bulging out. “This is too much.”
“Stop it, please? I did really well for myself with the last show.” You hate that mention then, that you didn’t go. “Don’t be upset about it, I get it. We got your gifts which were very sweet you know.”
“I wanted to go so badly.” You look away, taking a breath, then he’s yanked his seat, dragging it across the floor with a screech, next to you, and you love it, his thigh brushing against yours, his sweet smile.
“It’s okay, I understand. I do. I know you have supported me always, I don’t know if I let you realize how much I appreciated it.”
“I can’t cry, I have on eyelashes, stop.” Choso laughs softly, leaning close and pulling up your menus.
“I’ve never gone on any kind of date to a fancy place, I wanted this to be with you, okay? It’s nothing. But…” He whispers then. “I have no clue what any of this stuff is?”
“Me either! No pictures!?” You lean over then to a couple near you, they smile at you both. “Any advice?”
“I picked the filet mignon, at least I knew the word.” She says, you giggle, nodding then and peeking at Cho.
“That one?” Soon you’re giving the waitress your order, and you can’t help but notice that she’s flirting with him, but instead of how he’d usually be sweet and hopelessly clueless, he wraps an arm around your waist, as if showing that he’s here with you.
It’s everything you’ve ever wanted in one gesture.
Ino picking his ex over you, Satoru having picked random girls over you, and a serious lack of dating has made your shitty limited experience have you extra insecure, something you realized this past month. Choso even just calling you his friend, though it was true, had hurt deeply once you were intimate.
You’re trying to take it slow, one moment at a time, but god he feels so good, against you, with you. He’s cutting at your steak and feeding you little bites, you both sip wine and just enjoy each other as the boat sways through the water. It’s unlike any date you’ve had, you don’t have to get to know him, don’t have to impress him. He’s Choso Kamo, the man you’ve adored forever.
“So it’s a date, what’s your favorite color?” He teases, you snort in laughter, rolling your eyes.
“Oh stop like you haven’t known since middle school, it’s blue. What’s your favorite color, emo boy, black?”
“Emo boy!?” You are both losing it with laughter, with his every little touch, his sweet smile, he carves his damn place further in your heart.
The dessert comes, a chocolate lava cake with a scoop of ice cream, and you laugh at his messy eating, the way he gets chocolate on the corner of his mouth. “You’re so messy.”
“So were you, I remember.” His husky tone makes your mouth drop open, desire clutching you tightly, especially when he licks it off, you can’t help but remember the taste of him, the feeling of his body against yours, the way that tongue just fucking did things.
You clear your throat, trying to shake the thoughts away. “Not gentlemanly, now is it?”
“It’s not, I’m sowwy.” He gives you puppy dog eyes, and you can’t take how cute he is then. You laugh softly, wiping a smudge of chocolate from his face with your thumb. “What’s so funny?” He asks, licking his lips.
“You are.” You reply, unable to stop smiling.
“Am I?” You nod, he’s so close then, his hand on your thigh under the table cloth, you have insane thoughts, what would it be like for him to play with you, right here?
“Shit.”
“Shit what?”
“Nothing.” You sigh, running fingers through your locks now.
“Open up.” Why does everything sound so attractive!? You do as he commands, opening your mouth for him to fork a piece of the chocolate cake, you chew thoughtfully as he watches you with avid attention.
“Food on my face?”
“N-no. Just so pretty.” He’s blushing now, it takes everything not to completely melt, but you’re still a little scared, a little hurt.
When he’s driving you back and you’re in the car, it also takes everything not to jump him then and there, not to let everything overwhelm you. His hand rests on your knee, smiling over at you when you pull up, the tension is still there, the words so unspoken, you want to say more, do more, but you know you shouldn’t yet.
“Would you like to go to our concert this weekend? I would really love it if you came… I may have a surprise I’m working on.”
“I’d love to, Cho. I miss seeing you guys.”
“Megumi and Yuuji really miss you too.” The guilt eats at you, Choso notices, frowning, dark brows drawn together. “I don’t say that to make you feel bad, they understand somewhat.”
“We fucked up so bad.” You blink rapidly, suddenly the car is too small, your hand going to the handle. “I should say good night.”
“Let me.” Choso is opening your door then, taking your hand in his, and you feel it, those butterflies swirling in your tummy, the desire for him in every way possible, as you give him a little tremulous smile. “Can I walk you to your door?”
“You can indeed, Sir.” You’re smiling so big you can’t stand it, you both are on your porch now, your hand still in his, which he brings to his lips, planting a kiss on your knuckles. “You’re like an Emo Disney Prince, Cho.”
“A what!?” You’re giggling again and he snorts in laughter, covering his face. He laughs so hard, and soon you’re just both laughing, looking at each other. He cups your face then, making your pulse race, your laughter easing now, as you stare at him. “You look so beautiful like this.”
“Snorting in laughter?” You ask with a quirk to your lips, he nods then, brushing his thumb on the apple of your cheek.
“Much better than tears.” There is so much between you both, a part of you wants to run inside and hide, another part wants to drag him in and kiss every part of him, but your hand goes to his chest, feeling his heart racing just like yours, just feeling him, being with him.
“I love seeing you smile. I can’t believe we ruined it.” Your whisper breaks him, he shakes his head then, leaning even lower.
“We didn’t ruin anything, maybe we… changed things?”
“You think? Can you… forgive me too?”
“Oh angel, there’s nothing to forgive. We both made a mess of this and hurt each other, but I never once was mad at you.” You step even closer now, swallowing nervously, your hands sliding up to wrap around his neck now, one of his arms wraps your waist.
“Thank you for a beautiful evening, Choso Kamo.” You murmur, a little smile on your lips.
“Thank you for being you.” He whispers, the warmth of his palm seeping through your dress, making you gasp at it, just the brush of his fingers down your back ends you damn near. Your eyes flutter shut, feeling his breath against your skin, waiting for it, waiting for his kiss.
But he just watches you, with your lips pursed, and your eyes shut, his heart fucking stopped now. He knew it, that he loved you, he had suspected it for so long, but then and there he knew he was madly in love with you. Part of him wants to give you a sweet kiss, the other wants to fuck you so good you forget Gojo ever touched you, warring parts in his mind.
His thumb tilts your chin up, and he pauses. “May I kiss you?”
Your eyes open in surprise. “You may.”
As his lips brush against yours, it’s at first sweet and lingering, but then it is like a spark ignites a flame, a passionate desperate kiss that you both crave forms, tongues dancing together, tasting the sweetness of the desert on both of your lips, the tart of the wine, and tasting each other.
Your hands are in his hair, his arms around your waist as he bends over you, you’re both lost in it, lost in each other. His thumbs trace little circles on the small of your back, making you arch into him, his kisses becoming more insistent, more needy. You feel it, the desire coiling in your tummy as he presses you even closer against his hard body, as one of his hands entangles in your hair.
You break apart for a moment, both of you panting, staring at each other, his eyes are full of desire, his pupils blown wide, and you see in his own eyes your face, lips parted, your own eyes lidded with desire. You both ease back, he rests his forehead on yours, desire coursing through his veins.
“It’s taking everything in me not to go inside, to have your taste all over me.” His words end you almost, you’re panting softly, nodding then.
“I know, I want it too.” He kisses you again, softer and easier, taking a deep breath and stepping back, leaving just a couple of inches between you now.
“I want to do things right this time. I want you to feel you’re put first. Please, don’t cry, angel.” You can’t help it, it’s everything you’ve wanted and needed to hear from him, tears streaming silently.
“They’re happy tears this time.” You manage to whisper, he exhales then, brushing them gently, kissing your cheeks.
“I hope soon I can ask you to be my girlfriend.” Your heart stutters then, he tenses as if he’s said something wrong. “Not yet I mean… if…”
“N-no, I’d like it soon. I agree we shouldn’t go further tonight though.” He nods quickly, kissing you once more and standing straight, clearing his throat, he’s rubbing the back of his neck all awkward and cute, the Choso you’ve known forever. “You’re still you, hmm?”
His lips turn up a bit. “I’m still me. You’re still you.”
“I am still me. Text me the details of the concert? I’ll be there.” He beams brightly at that.
“Yeah!?”
“Yeah. Good night, Choso. Thank you.”
“Good night.” After he’s watched you go inside, Choso is covering his face, breath coming so quick, he’s kissed you, and not just as some prelude to sex, no he kissed you after a date.
Everything in him is melting, things aren’t completely lost like he thought, it’s like this beautiful rainbow has entered his world again, illuminating the darkness that losing you had left behind. He’s not even sure he deserves your forgiveness, but he knows he will make sure he earns it properly. He stares at your shut door for some time before he leaves, the longing making him ache.
You’re covering your face, a huge fucking smile on it, as your back is against the door, then you have a hand on your heart, feeling it beat again, for the first time in weeks. You take off your heels, unzipping your dress then, heading to the bathroom to start taking off your makeup, mind whirling. Choso wasn’t lost, and maybe you weren’t lost either.
You try not to get your hopes too high, to not be too quick to think everything will be fine, you both hurt each other deeply, and you have a lot to go, but tonight made the dark bright again, made you realize Choso was your brightness. When you’re in bed, snuggled under the blankets, your phone buzzes and you look quickly to see it, a text from Choso.
Cho Bear: I hope you have a good night, but I have to admit… I’d die to have you in my arms.
His text hits hard, it hits brutal, it was only one night he’d held you like that, but you can’t get it out of your head, how it felt perfect. Like you were supposed to be there, safe and protected, cherished. Even now to think of him holding you brings emotions forwards, the longing in his words matching yours.
You: That would be lovely, I enjoyed that night.
Cho Bear: I enjoyed it too much, especially watching you sleep.
You: Creepy sleep stalker!
Cho Bear: A little bit.
You’re giggling again, eyes heavy now, and he sends the details of the concert coming up while you yawn.
You: I can’t wait, good night Cho.
Cho Bear: Good night, pretty.
You also see a text from Utahime, asking for details, you’re half asleep with one eye open as you text her back that it was so fun. She had encouraged you to go and give it a try, and you’re so happy you did. She gives you a million heart emojis then, making you smile sleepily.
To be in Choso’s arms, you don’t know if you’ll get there any time soon, but in your dreams, there you are.
*****
“She came!” Yuuji exclaims that weekend, you and Choso were back to him bringing you that coffee at work, in fact it came along with a little peck on your cheek every morning. It would make you think of him all day, it would put this goofy smile on your face, but aside from that, you haven’t seen him.
The concert is at a very popular club in the city, and it’s packed, there is Choso’s band and a couple others there, when you walk in and you see them. Yuuji waves excitedly, Megumi gives a little nod, and Choso brightens up, calling your name and waving you up to the stage then.
“You came!” He picks you up in his arms then, a giant bear hug that makes you feel so small as he lifts you up, you hug him around the neck as your feet dangle off the ground, smiling against his cheek.
“Of course I did, I couldn't miss it.” He eases you down as some onlookers come, one including Amber, who makes Choso tense as she strides up.
“Choso, I haven’t talked to you! In forever…”
“Is that your girl?” Another girl asks, Amber laughs then.
“They’re friends.”
You gulp now, panicking as several people come around curiously, and you want to fall into a fucking hole, terrified of what his answer will be, you’re not together yet, so whatever he says…
“No, she’s my girl.” You blink up at him, gasping, he eases you down and wraps an arm around your waist as the whispers start.
“Your girl?” Amber asks, arms crossed with a scowl.
“She’s pretty!” Someone else says, making you flush, snuggling up to Choso, leaning up to whisper in his ear.
“You don’t have to do this.”
He looks at you then, shaking his head. “I want to.” He murmurs, pressing a little kiss on your lips in front of everyone, Megumi and Yuuji are grinning as the girls are babbling, and people from the crowd ooh and ahh. But Amber?
“Really? Her?” Choso tenses then, glaring over at her.
“Yeah, her, what’s that mean?”
“Cho, it’s okay…”
Amber stomps up to him then, leaning close. “You forgot the last time we hung out?”
“I’d love to forget. You can go on if you mean to insult her, because damned if she’s not perfect.”
“Perfect?”
“Why don’t you go on?” Megumi says then, eyeing a bouncer. “Or we could have you escorted?”
“Whatever.” She grumbles, dragging her friends out with her, and suddenly you can breathe just a bit, looking up at him.
“You didn’t have to say all that, it’s okay really.”
“It’s not okay for her to talk that way. She’s nothing.” He cups your face, forgetting the audience right along with you, until Yuuji clears his throat, and you smile at them, tummy doing fucking flips at how good you feel.
“Thanks Megumi.” You say softly, he shrugs.
“She’s a bitch.” You snort a bit, covering your mouth, looking up at Choso again, who has a more serious expression.
“Is it fine I called you my girl?” He asks, you feel it, his nerves then, you nod with the biggest smile, and he exhales. “Okay, good, because I want it to be true.”
“Maybe it will be, let’s see this surprise.” You tease, pecking a kiss on his lips softly again. “I can’t wait.”
As you’re sipping on a drink you watch them start their set, you’re right up front and center, watching Choso’s finger strum the guitar like they’re made to do it, he leans close to the mic and starts singing. His voice resonates through the entire room, earning everyone’s avid attention, including of course, yours.
You watch him intently, as he performs songs you’ve known forever, you’re cheering and dancing and he keeps smiling at you, keeps looking at you. You feel so special then, more than you can ever remember feeling, the fear dissipating with every honeyed flick of his fingers on the guitar, at moments you shut your eyes and just let it wash through you.
You head to get another drink as they prep for the next song, when suddenly there’s a hushed quiet when Choso speaks, making you turn back around and stare at him.
“This song was written in a rush, these two had to learn it so fast, they probably wanna kick my ass.” He says, the crowd laughs a bit, you’re headed back through them with your drink, smiling up at Choso curiously. “But it’s dedicated to someone special, someone I’ve known forever, but who has become very special to me.”
He says your name then.
You can hardly remember your name before he spoke it, before he looked at you like that, and he’s pointing at you, earning the crowd parting just a bit for you. You feel the heat of everyone’s gaze, hear their murmurs, but you’re too entranced and in shock to really see anything but violet eyes across from you on the stage.
“I hope you… I know you’ll get it.” He says then, hoping the lights on the stage didn’t make his blush show too much, then he begins playing, as do Megumi and Yuuji, a melodic tune that sounds nothing like you’ve heard from them.
A/N: *disclaimer I am no songwriter, be easy on me lol*
When the world fades to gray and all I can see is you,
When the nights blend to days and all I feel is you.
The smile on your face it dances across all my dreams,
Feelings so raw it’s like I’m bursting at the seams.
The melody is soft, it’s not their usual rock music, it’s a ballad so beautiful it brings tears to your eyes, hearing the hoarseness of Choso’s voice as he pours his heart into every word. You sniffle and take a shaky sip, trembling as everyone watches you both in wonder, but it is just you two, isn’t it? Hasn’t it always been?
I’d die to have you in my arms every night,
Oh what I’d do to hold you so tight.
To press kisses along your lips,
To touch you with fingertips.
You’re heating up now, breathless as you continue to watch, utterly enamored, it’s as if you feel these words like a physical touch, overheating your body. You break apart that last barrier of fear, piece by piece, because you can’t just make this up, you can feel it, all of him, in all his sincerity.
In a crowded room all I see is you,
Praying at night for all my dreams to come true.
A girl with a smile that can brighten my heart,
A girl with eyes that tear me apart.
Your eyes are a mess, you’re absolutely sure that there is makeup running down your face, as he melody continues, as he starts pouring his heart to you, as he makes you smile, as he makes you melt. You’re trembling so hard your knees nearly knock, aching to be held by him, for him to never let go. You know you have to take things slow, but at this moment it feels impossible.
Feelings I’ve always known,
Feelings I’ve never shown.
She’s the girl that you write songs for,
She’s the girl that I’ve longed for.
By my side through it all,
Never knew we could fall.
The realization that I have come to,
That there’s nobody but you
At that moment you’re a mess, he ends the song but before he can finish you’ve jumped on the stage, he swings his guitar behind him, and you kiss him, pulling him down to you as everyone claps for him. It’s thunderous, but you don’t hear shit, just your pulse racing, just Choso’s heart thudding, he pulls back with tears in his eyes, breaths coming so quick.
“Choso, I hear you. I feel you.” You whisper, brokenly then, and he kisses you deeply, arms wrapping around you.
“I do mean it, I mean it all angel.” You nod, swiping at your tears and smiling so brightly, he leans close, cupping your face, smiling.
“Finish the set.” You whisper, giggling then as you hop off the stage, everyone is enamored as Choso clears his throat, and they start their usual fare. You head to the bathroom, slamming into Amber then, who scoffs at you.
“You, hmm?” She demands, earning your glare.
“What’s your problem with me? It’s not like you and Choso dated.”
“No? Well he sure had his cock in my mouth.”
You tense now. “And? We weren’t together.”
“Don’t you think…” She leans close. “That if he really wanted you, he’d have been with you this entire time?”
“I…” Your mind whirls with doubt, she smiles all nasty at you.
“No worries, I got Gojo’s number, maybe I’ll take your other guy?”
“Psh, like I care about Gojo. Please do, maybe he’ll quit sending me his dick pics.” You say, smirking at her then, she is furious at you.
“He said you’re just friends, you know.”
“Yeah well, I don’t care what he said. It doesn’t matter. We’re not ‘just friends’ any longer, so I expect you to back the fuck off hmm?” You step right to her, damn near nose to nose, and she backs up just a step.
“We’ll see about all that.” She walks off now, leaving you shaky as you peer into the mirror, you feel sick at thinking of them together, once you pull yourself together somewhat you step out, seeing her all clinging to his arm.
Choso shrugs her off though, glaring, and when he sees you he starts walking your way, filling you with so much relief, it’s like you can breathe again. “Was she a bitch to you?”
“Yeah, she’s really salty.” Choso snorts then, kissing you gently for everyone to see. “I hate that you were with her.”
“I hate you were with him.” He murmurs, leaning close to your ear. “How slow are we taking this?”
“Mmm…” You trail your hands down his strong arms. “We said slow…”
“I could eat you out really slow?” Your eyes shoot up to his, god you haven’t been touched that way in so long, and by him especially, you feel his words shoot between your thighs. “I want to feel you cum so badly, watch your pretty face, your last time cumming was…”
“Thinking of you.” You cut him off, surprising him then. “It was playing with myself, thinking of you.”
“Fuck…” Choso kisses you deeper, pressing you against the wall right by the bathroom, his hands on your waist, pressing in. “I’ll take it slow, whatever it is you want to do, I will.”
“You wanna lick me slow huh?” You’re giggling at the thought. “Lick me where, Choso?”
“You know where, you’re so bratty right now.” You can’t stop your giggles, making him desire you even more. “Don’t I owe you a couple orgasms?”
“Maybe you do. Two I think.”
“So I’ll give you two, and we won’t go further… yet.”
“Where?” He exhales now.
“I want you home… I mean… my home.”
“Staying the night is a lot really quick, this is like our second date?” You tease, he smiles shyly then.
“We can just cuddle, we can do anything. Please just come home… over to my home…”
“You’ve said that twice.” He is a blushing mess, it melts you. “I’ll come over for a night cap then.”
“Yeah!?”
You laugh, nodding. Soon you’re pulling into Choso’s home, and it’s a little nerve wracking. Then you remember the last time you were in his bed, you don’t know how you hold back. Choso’s bending down, slipping off your heels, pecking kisses up your thighs then, earning your gasp as you’re dripping wet in your panties.
“Wanna get more comfy?” He asks softly, you nod shyly then, and soon you’re only wearing one of his soft band tees, coming out to see Choso has made you a drink, he hands it to you as you walk in the kitchen, leaning on the counter then. “You’re so beautiful.” He says, brushing your hair back.
“You’re beautiful, Cho bear.” He shakes his head with a little eye roll.
“You always sucked at taking compliments.”
“I know, ugh.” You sip on the drink in the quiet kitchen then, he bends over you, arms on either side of the counter.
“Do you know how badly I wanna fuck any memory out of your head of him?” His words hit you violently, your pussy throbs around nothing. “I won’t yet, but if you think I don’t you’re insane.”
“I… you…”
“I’ll settle for licking the memories out of your pretty head.” You can’t stop the whine from the back of your throat then, only urging him on, he’s got you lifted on his counter then, shocking you. “Let me take care of you, angel, yeah? Just like that first night, when I first tasted you.”
“Please.” Is all you manage, and Choso’s slipping up your shirt, moaning when he finds you bare, sinking to his knees then, he’s so tall it puts him right at face height with your pussy, which his breath alone makes you jerk. “Cho…”
“So fucking perfect.” He swipes a tongue up your slit, your hands enwrap in his dark silky locks, as he shoves your thighs apart, tongue ring hitting your clit. “Mmm… so yummy, fuck.” He huffs now, black blunt nails pressing into the plush of your thighs as he slips his tongue up again.
“Cho!” You whimper, already pathetic, he watches the arousal pool from your little hole, making him throb, cock so hard he can’t take it. He starts drinking you up, the slurping sounds in the kitchen erotic, as his barbell keeps flicking over and over. “Oh my god…”
You’re already close, it’s so quick but he knows you, he knows your pussy, where you like it, what pressure, and when he’s sucking your clit in his mouth, humming on it and watching you, you fall apart. You can’t hold back at all, cumming so much it’s a mess, all over his face, which he eagerly drinks while you’re yanking his hair so hard it hurts, but it makes him harder.
“Good girl, that’s it.” Choso murmurs when he pulls back, you’re blinking vision back, blinded then, taking several breaths as he leans up, slipping a finger in your slick walls, which clench him. “So tight, fuck… soaking me, huh angel?”
“Mnh…” You can’t manage a word, hearing your greedy pussy sucking his fingers so deep. He’s curling it up, leaning to you, lips brushing yours, you lick yourself right off him, hands shaking as you clutch his shirt. “M-missed it… f-fuck…”
“I missed you, missed feeling you.” Choso’s words, his finger curling sends you back over that edge, your eyes roll back, head falling, he kisses down your throat then, slipping another finger. “Feel that stretch, huh baby?”
“Ngh!” You nod, gasping when he’s back down, using his fingers and his mouth at the same time, bringing you higher and higher, all while violet, dilated eyes watch your every expression. Choso’s pulsing himself then, as your walls flutter around him, as your slick pools down his wrist, so slippery now, all while he drinks you, watching you fall apart.
You’re shaking violently, thighs closing around his head as the orgasm washes over you, as the coil in your tummy releases, your scream is so loud your voice breaks in the middle. You’re sobbing when he’s done, it’s so fucking good, gasping for breath, he places a kiss on your pussy then, groaning at it, and you desperately yank him to you, kissing him.
He moans, deepening the kiss, and he feels it then, the sticky hot cum from eating you out start pouring in his sweats, he panics at it, pulling back, and looking at your cock drunk face, eyes dilated so much he can barely see the iris. Your cunt is drooling, he leans down to lap it up again, whimpering as his cock pushes out more cum, picturing it in you.
“Cho, lemme take care of-”
“Ah, no… I already…”
He leans up now, blushing furiously, and your eyes dart down, seeing it now, soaking wet spot on his sweats, sticky white pooling through the material. “I didn’t touch you?”
“You didn’t have to.” He smiles nervously, exhaling. “I’m sorry-”
“No! No… it means you really love it.” You whisper, biting your lip as he eases you off the counter. Choso cups your face carefully, words of love threatening to spill, but he doesn’t know if you’re ready yet.
“Loving it is an understatement, watching you cum? Your pretty face? The way your body shakes? I can’t explain it. And your taste, how wet you get… I couldn’t take it, it just… happened.” You giggle now, earning his glare. “Are you laughing at me? That cruel, hmm?”
“No, I’m just… it’s so cute!”
“Cute? Ugh.”
“I’m sorry it is sweet, and cute… and flattering.” You kiss him over and over, uncaring as his sticky lap presses against your tummy. “I can clean you up?’
“Oh god, I won’t make that right now. No, I want it for you, tonight.”
“Like the first night?”
“Mhmm.” He kisses your forehead now, exhaling. “Let me clean up and we can cuddle, if you want?”
“I want.”
Soon you’re back somewhere you never thought you’d be again, Choso Kamo’s strong arms, he’s got one wrapped around you as you lay on his chest, trailing little circles mindlessly against his bare skin, over his tattoos. You know the story behind them all, you went to him with most of them, but you can’t help but find them incredibly sexy.
His other hand brushes up and down your spine, making you shiver and hum just a bit, you lean your chin up, looking at him then, feeling the words threatening to spill, but not just yet. “I’m still scared, Cho bear.”
He frowns at that, sighing. “I know, angel. I know.”
“I want to say more, but…”
“You can wait, we have all the time, yeah?”
“Yeah.” You kiss him and smile, blissed out from his presence, from the pleasure he brings you.
“How about another date?” You nod eagerly, smiling against his neck as you snuggle up to him.
“I’d love that. I’ll pick it?”
“You’ll pick it.”
“I hope Amber will fuck off by the way?”
“You can beat her up?”
“I could.” He moans at that, yanking you closer.
“Hot.” You both giggle. “I didn’t enjoy it with her. Physical and nothing else? It felt so…”
“Empty.”
“Yeah, empty. But fuck I can’t forget the hurt on your face, and I hate it still, that it made you…”
“Cho…”
“I hate him, I’m sorry. It’s like he knew you were upset and thrived off it.” You wince now, shaking your head.
“He just wanted fun, I doubt it.”
“You’re too sweet sometimes. If I see him? I can’t make promises.”
“You’ll kick his ass for my honor huh?” He chuckles.
“For lots of reasons, starting with high school. Even then, I wish…”
“It’s okay, we have now. Let’s not focus on back then.” He wishes he could change it all though, take away your pain, but he’s so thankful, he nods now, kissing your head and continuing his gentle touches. “This feels so perfect. It’s scary how perfect.”
“It is perfect. Good night, angel.” You yawn, smiling and shutting your eyes, snuggling deeper as you fall into a slumber, the tentative happiness making you sleep quickly, though there’s fear in both your hearts, of what could come between you.
“I… love you. I’m in love with you.” Choso whispers, as he hears you lightly snore, making his heart swell in his chest, hoping one day soon he can tell you.
A/N- I know the last chap was HEAVY with the angst, but they had to go through the worst and a seperation, truly to find each other. The story isn't over, and not done yet, but I hope you're enjoying it even if it got dark for a bit here! I look forward to your comments
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Healing
Something shifts in you after Jean and Scott have their baby making you wonder if you and Logan should have kids.
professor logan howlett x professor fem!reader - established relationship (y'all married), no y/n used, no reader description, your an english professor, logan is a history professor - imagine days of future past logan with the white streaks in his hair, trying for a baby, angst, mentions of miscarriage, mentions of blood, triggering topics, self-loathing, healing
a/n: been sitting on this one for a while. Not going to lie this fucking hurt to write. I cried so much. I have never been through this but i know a few people who have and i can’t even imagine the pain and strength they have.
read on ao3 or find more parts for the series: here
divider credit: @enchanthings
Jean beamed, her face glowing with a soft pride, as she held her baby boy close. His tiny hands curled around the fabric of her shirt, his chubby face peaceful as he dozed off in her arms. Over the past few months, you’d watched him grow from a fragile newborn, all soft whimpers and sleepy eyes, into a curious, squirming infant. It seemed like only yesterday he was swaddled and still, but now here he was, wide-eyed and alert to the world.
Scott stood beside Jean, his posture softer than usual, his typically intense gaze almost watery as he watched her gently rock their son. He looked at them both like they were the center of his universe. A quiet awe in his expression that made something tighten in your chest.
"He’s so precious," you said quietly, unable to tear your eyes away from the little family in front of you. The warmth between them radiated out, a kind of contentment that was hard to describe but impossible to miss.
Jean glanced up at you with a knowing smile, one that made you feel as though she could read you like an open book. "He is, isn’t he?" she said, her eyes sparkling. Then, almost without thinking, she added, "Makes you wanna have one, I bet?"
The words hung in the air for a second too long, and you felt your breath catch, an awkward chuckle slipping out before you could stop it. "Oh, kids aren’t really my thing," you blurted, your voice a little too quick, a little too high. "I mean, I love kids—who doesn’t—but, me... well..."
You trailed off as both Jean and Scott turned toward you, exchanging a quick, subtle glance. Their expressions were a mix of curiosity and mild confusion, like they hadn’t expected that answer, like maybe they were wondering why someone like you—someone married to Logan, no less—would feel that way.
The truth was, you’d never really discussed it. Not in depth. Sure, it had come up in passing a few times, but it was one of those conversations that lingered at the edges of your relationship, something neither of you had pushed too hard to figure out. Logan, with all his complications and dark past, never really seemed the type to want a family. And you? You weren’t sure if you did, either. It was easier not to think about it, to enjoy the life you had now—the two of you, perfectly in sync, no added weight of expectation.
But something had shifted recently. Maybe it was watching Jean and Scott, the way they orbited around their son like he was their entire world. Or maybe it was something deeper you hadn’t allowed yourself to feel until now.
"Do you want to hold him?" Scott asked, his voice gentle, trying to break the tension he had sensed creeping in.
You shook your head quickly, hands coming up in protest. "No, it’s fine, really—"
Before you could finish the thought, Jean was already moving, carefully transferring her sleeping son into your arms. You froze for a moment, a rush of panic flooding through you as the small, warm weight of the baby settled against your chest.
"There you go," Jean said softly, stepping back with a smile.
For a heartbeat, you felt a strange rush of anxiety—what if he started crying? What if you held him wrong? As the baby squirmed lightly against you, something softened inside. His small face scrunched up for a moment, but he didn’t stir, and before you knew it, the panic eased into something warmer, something you weren’t sure you were ready to name yet.
"You’re a natural," Jean whispered, her smile widening as she watched you gently cradle her son.
You glanced down at the tiny face, his soft breathing rising and falling steadily, and for a moment, everything else seemed to fade away. There was something so... peaceful about it. The weight of him in your arms, the delicate rise and fall of his chest. It was calming in a way you hadn’t expected. Your mind drifted, just for a second, imagining what it would be like to have a child of your own, one that looked up at you with Logan’s piercing eyes, with his stubbornness and strength.
The thought caught you off guard, making your chest tighten. You had always been so certain that kids weren’t part of the plan, or at least, that’s what you told yourself. Now with this small life cradled in your arms, you weren’t so sure.
Logan’s low, familiar voice broke through your thoughts. "There you are," he muttered, stepping into the room. His eyes softened immediately when he saw you holding the baby, though he tried to hide it behind his usual gruff expression. "Didn’t know I was married to a babysitter now."
You smirked, though your heart was racing a little. "Jean practically forced me."
Logan grunted in response, but there was a subtle shift in his expression as he watched you. His eyes lingered on the baby for a moment longer than usual, and you could see something flicker there. He stepped closer, his hand gently resting on your lower back, warm and reassuring.
"Doesn’t look like you mind too much," he said, his voice softer than usual, his eyes meeting yours.
You shrugged, feeling the baby shift slightly in your arms. "It’s... nice," you admitted quietly, surprising even yourself with the truth of it. "Holding him, I mean."
Logan didn’t say anything right away, but you could feel him studying you, the way he always did when he was thinking something over. Finally, he nodded toward the baby, his voice low. "You look good like that."
You blinked, caught off guard. "Like what?"
His eyes dropped to the baby in your arms before meeting yours again. "Holdin’ him," Logan said quietly, his voice rough but filled with something more. "You look... happy."
You smiled, but there was a knot forming in your chest now, a new kind of weight pressing down. You couldn’t shake the image from your mind—Logan, holding a baby of your own, the two of you together as parents. It wasn’t something you had let yourself picture before, but now that it was there, you couldn’t unsee it.
Later that day, as you watched Logan outside, talking to Jubilee with that soft, fatherly look he sometimes wore, it hit you again. The way he was with her, with Rogue or the younger kids at the mansion—it was so natural, so instinctive. He had this way of guiding them, protecting them, even if he’d never admit it out loud.
You started to wonder if maybe Logan would make an incredible father. As much as you tried to deny it, the thought made your heart ache.
When Logan caught you watching him, he smirked as his eyebrow raised in curiosity. "What’re you lookin’ at?"
You shook your head, smiling softly. "Just you."
Logan came closer, wrapping his arm around your waist, his usual smirk softening. "Yeah?" he murmured. "What’s that look for?"
You hesitated, biting your lip. "Just... thinking."
"‘Bout what?"
You glanced up at him, your eyes searching his, and for the first time in a while, you didn’t brush the thought aside. "Logan," you started softly, your voice unsure but steady, "have you ever thought about... having kids?"
Logan’s eyes widened slightly, caught off guard by the question. He was quiet for a moment, his brow furrowing as he considered your words. Then, after what felt like forever, he sighed softly, pulling you a little closer. "I dunno," he admitted quietly, his voice rough. "Never thought I’d be good at it. But... maybe." His gaze met yours, something unspoken lingering between you. "What about you?"
You swallowed, your heart pounding. "I think... maybe I’m starting to."
Logan didn’t say anything, but his hand slipped into yours, his calloused fingers curling around yours. He gave your hand a gentle squeeze, his silence saying more than words could at that moment.
𓂃
In the days that followed, you couldn’t shake the thought from your mind. It was as if a switch had flipped inside you, and now you were noticing every little thing Logan did—the way he spoke softly to one of his students who was struggling, the way he offered a stern but patient lecture to one of the kids running down the hallway, his voice rough with that familiar gruffness but still carrying a warmth that hinted at something deeper. Every time, your heart tightened, as though it was trying to tell you something you hadn’t quite figured out yet.
The idea of having kids had never seemed urgent. It was like a vague notion floating somewhere in the distance, something other people did after getting married. For you and Logan, it hadn’t felt like a natural progression. You liked your life the way it was—just the two of you, wrapped up in each other. Lazy evenings spent tangled up on the couch, quiet mornings with coffee and teasing banter, spontaneous trips to the city where you wandered hand-in-hand without any real plan.
Now, with every small act of kindness, you saw Logan show, you couldn’t help but imagine him as a father…and it scared you.
The thought of having a child felt like a seismic shift—one that would change the landscape of everything you loved. It wasn’t just about the sleepless nights or the endless responsibilities. It was deeper than that. You worried that the closeness you shared with Logan, the way your lives intertwined so effortlessly, would somehow slip away. That all the little moments you cherished would be replaced by the constant demands of a tiny person who needed everything from you, leaving little room for the quiet intimacy you had now.
Most of all, you worried that your love for each other would get... lost. That Logan, with all his quiet strength and unspoken fears, would pull away when faced with the weight of fatherhood.
It was late one evening, the two of you curled up in bed, the room dimly lit by the soft glow of the lamp on the nightstand. Logan was lying on his back, one arm behind his head, the other draped over you, his fingers absentmindedly tracing circles on your shoulder. You were nestled against his side, listening to the steady rhythm of his breathing, but your thoughts were racing.
You hesitated before speaking, your voice barely above a whisper. "Logan," you began, your tone uncertain. "Can I ask you something?"
He tilted his head slightly, looking down at you with those piercing hazel eyes, his expression softening as he nodded. "Always," he said quietly.
You swallowed, trying to find the right words. "Do you ever... do you ever feel like we might lose what we have if things change?"
Logan’s brow furrowed slightly, a hint of concern in his eyes. "What do you mean, darlin'?" His voice was low like he was afraid to push too hard.
You took a deep breath, your fingers absently tracing the outline of his chest. "I mean, if we had a kid," you whispered, the words feeling strange on your tongue. "If we became parents… I’m worried that we’d lose... us. The way things are now."
Logan was silent for a moment, his hand stilling on your shoulder as he considered your words. "You think a kid would take that away?" he asked, his voice gruff but gentle.
"I don’t know," you admitted, your voice trembling slightly. "I just—everything would be different. We wouldn’t have these quiet nights or our spontaneous trips. We’d have to give up a lot." You paused, feeling the weight of your confession settle between you. "I’m scared that I won’t have as much time for you. Or that… you’d pull away."
Logan’s gaze softened, a deep sigh escaping him as he pulled you closer, his arm tightening around your shoulders. "I get it," he murmured. "I’m not gonna lie, I’ve thought about that too." He hesitated, his eyes drifting to the ceiling for a moment before returning to yours. "Hell, I’m scared of a lot of things when it comes to havin’ a kid. What if I’m no good at it? What if I… pass on the worst parts of me? All the anger, the darkness?"
You reached up, your hand cupping his jaw as you turned his face toward you. "You wouldn’t," you said firmly, meeting his gaze with unwavering certainty. "You’re more than that, Logan. So much more."
He looked at you, his expression raw. "I try to be," he whispered, his voice rough with emotion. "But there’s a lotta things I can’t control. And I don’t know if I’d be any good at raisin’ a kid. I’ve spent most of my life tryin’ to protect people by keepin’ ‘em at arm’s length. How do I protect someone I can’t keep away from everything bad in the world?"
His words sank into you, and you could see the fear in his eyes, the way his past haunted him in a way that was hard to put into words. It wasn’t just about fatherhood—it was about feeling worthy of it. Of deserving that kind of joy.
"You protect me," you whispered, your thumb gently stroking his cheek. "Every day. And you do it without keeping me at a distance. You let me in, Logan. That’s not easy, but you did it. You do it. And if you can do that, then I think you’d make a great father."
Logan’s eyes searched yours, his breath hitching slightly as your words settled in. He leaned in, pressing a kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering there like he was drawing strength from the contact. "I’m not sure I deserve you sayin’ that," he murmured against your skin. "But it means more than you know."
You pulled back just enough to meet his gaze, your hand slipping down to rest over his heart, feeling its steady rhythm beneath your touch. "I’m scared too," you confessed. "I’m scared of everything changing, and of not being able to handle it. But I’m also scared of… what if we don’t even try? What if we let fear decide for us?"
Logan’s expression softened, his thumb brushing gently over your knuckles as he held your hand. "If we do this," he said, his voice low and steady, "we do it together. No matter what. It won’t always be easy, but…" He hesitated, his voice breaking just slightly. "I’d rather face that with you than spend the rest of my life wonderin' if we shoulda tried."
You felt a warmth spread through your chest at his words, and suddenly, the idea didn’t seem as overwhelming as it had before. It was still scary, yes, but knowing that Logan was just as unsure, just as scared, made it feel more... real.
You pressed a kiss to his lips, letting it linger, your fingers curling into his hair as you drew him closer. "So… we're gonna try for a baby?" you whispered, the words slipping out softly.
Logan’s arms tightened around you like he was anchoring himself to the moment. He pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, his eyes searching yours with a mix of uncertainty and quiet determination. There was a heartbeat of silence before he nodded. "Yeah," he murmured, the sound almost lost in the space between you. Then, with more conviction, he added, "Yeah, why the hell not." His lips curved into a small, genuine smile.
𓂃
Trying for a baby had started out exciting—a new chapter to explore with Logan. You’d always had an active and passionate sex life, and the thought of intentionally building a family together made your heart swell.
It wasn’t the act of trying that was hard—it was the waiting, the endless cycle of hope and disappointment. You had been so sure, so confident at the start. But now, after months of trying and nothing to show for it, doubt had begun to creep in like a shadow you couldn’t shake.
Standing by the window in the quiet library, you stared out at the sprawling gardens, but your gaze was unfocused. Your mind was too busy unraveling itself. Why hadn’t it happened yet? Was it you? Was something wrong with you?
Your thoughts drifted back to the last four years of marriage with Logan. You couldn’t help but wonder why you hadn’t gotten pregnant sooner, even by accident. Not once had there been a scare, not even a close call. The questions swirled in your mind, each one more suffocating than the last. Was it my body? Did I do something wrong? Am I broken?
“Hey.” Logan’s familiar voice broke through the haze. You hadn’t even heard him enter the room.
You felt the warmth of his arm as he wrapped it around your shoulders, his touch gentle, steady. “What’s wrong, darlin’?” he asked, his voice low and filled with concern.
You stiffened slightly, shrugging his arm off and taking a small step away. “I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” you whispered, your gaze still fixed on the window.
Logan hesitated. He wasn’t the type to push when you didn’t want to talk, but this—this distance, the way you’d been pulling away lately—was starting to worry him. He could see the weight you were carrying, the exhaustion etched into your face, even though you tried to hide it behind small smiles and quick deflections.
“Sweetheart,” he said softly, his voice almost a plea, “you don’t have to talk to me if you’re not ready. But… you gotta talk to someone. You can’t carry this by yourself.”
His words broke something loose in you, and you bit your lip hard to keep it from trembling. A tear slipped down your cheek before you could stop it. “I just don’t understand,” you finally said, your voice cracking. “I thought I’d be pregnant by now. I thought it’d be easy… but it’s not, and I can’t stop feeling like—”
“Like what?” Logan pressed gently, stepping closer but keeping his distance enough to not crowd you.
“Like a failure,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. The words felt heavy leaving your mouth, as if speaking them made them more real.
Logan’s expression softened instantly, his brow furrowing with a mix of concern and heartache. “Darlin’,” he said quietly, closing the gap between you and gently cupping your face in his hands. He tilted your chin up so you had no choice but to meet his gaze.
“You listen to me,” he said, his voice steady but filled with emotion. “You’re not a failure. Not even close. Don’t you dare think that.”
“But, Logan,” you choked out, your tears now spilling freely. “What if it’s me? What if there’s something wrong with me? You deserve someone who—”
“Stop,” he interrupted firmly. His thumbs brushed the tears from your cheeks, his hazel eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made your breath hitch. “Don’t do that to yourself. Don’t put all this blame on you. We don’t know why it hasn’t happened yet, but it sure as hell isn’t because you’re not enough. You’re everything to me.”
Your knees felt weak at the raw sincerity in his voice, and you leaned into his touch, letting his warmth hold you together. “I just… I don’t know how to stop feeling like this,” you admitted, your voice trembling.
Logan pulled you into his chest, his strong arms wrapping around you in a way that made you feel shielded from the weight of the world. “We’ll figure it out,” he murmured into your hair. “Together. However long it takes, whatever we have to do—we’ll figure it out. But I need you to promise me somethin’, okay?”
“What?” you asked, your voice muffled against his chest.
“Promise me you’ll stop beatin’ yourself up over this. You’re not weak, darlin’. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known. And if this doesn’t happen the way we planned, it doesn’t change a damn thing about how much I love you.”
His words wrapped around your heart like a warm blanket, soothing the ache that had been gnawing at you for weeks. You tilted your head back to look at him, your hands resting on his chest. “You always know what to say,” you whispered, a faint, watery smile tugging at your lips.
He gave you a small, lopsided grin, his fingers brushing a strand of hair from your face. “Guess I’ve got a good reason to.”
You took a deep breath, feeling a flicker of hope reignite in your chest. “You know, sometimes I wonder if this is harder on you than you let on,” you said softly.
Logan hesitated, his gaze dropping for a moment before he looked back at you. “It’s hard,” he admitted. “But not because of me. It’s hard seein’ you like this. You’ve always been the one who makes things feel right, and I hate seein’ you doubt yourself.”
Your heart swelled at his honesty, and you leaned up to press a soft kiss to his knuckles. “I love you so much, Logan. No matter what happens, I’m just glad I have you by my side.”
His hazel eyes softened, and he pulled you closer, resting his forehead against yours. “I love you more, darlin’. We’re in this together, okay?”
You nodded, letting the warmth of his embrace settle over you like a safety net. The quiet hum of the library wrapped around you both, cocooning the moment in a kind of stillness you hadn’t felt in weeks.
𓂃
It was a few weeks later, and life had settled back into its usual rhythm—teaching classes, grading papers, and the occasional chaos that came with living in a mansion full of mutants. But something was… different. At first, you didn’t think much of it. Everyone felt off sometimes, right?
The fatigue came first. You yawned at least five times during one of your lectures, earning amused glances from your students. “Long night, Professor?” one of them teased, and you waved it off with a laugh, though you were secretly confused. You’d gone to bed early the night before, and yet you still felt like you could curl up under your desk and sleep for hours.
Then, there was lunch. Your usual favorite—whatever Logan had grilled up the night before—suddenly turned your stomach. The smell alone had you rushing out of the dining hall, your hand clamped over your mouth as you tried to breathe through the nausea. Jean had given you a concerned look, but you waved her off, blaming it on some "bad leftovers."
By the third day of these strange symptoms, you couldn’t ignore them anymore. Your mind began to piece things together— the fatigue, the nausea, the way your favorite coffee suddenly tasted too bitter to drink. A flicker of hope sparked in your chest, but you tried to push it down. Don’t get ahead of yourself, you told yourself. It could be anything.
Still, the thought wouldn’t leave you alone. That night, after Logan had gone to bed, you slipped out of your shared room and quietly headed to the mansion’s lab. You grabbed a pregnancy test, your hands trembling slightly as you tucked it under your arm and snuck back to the bathroom.
What if it’s negative again? What if this hope I’ve been holding onto is just… nothing?
But then, something shifted. A small voice in the back of your mind reminded you of Logan’s words. We’re in this together.
Finally, you took a deep breath and glanced down at the test. Your heart stopped.
Two lines.
Tears welled in your eyes, your hand flying to your mouth as a soft, disbelieving laugh escaped you. Positive. You were pregnant.
For a moment, you just stood there, staring at the test as joy bloomed in your chest, spreading through you like sunlight breaking through clouds. The months of waiting, of disappointment, of wondering if it would ever happen—all of it melted away in that instant.
You couldn’t wait to tell Logan. He deserved to know right away. But you wanted it to be special, something he’d never forget.
The next morning, you woke up earlier than usual, your excitement too much to keep contained. While Logan was still asleep, you snuck into the kitchen, rummaging through the cabinets for supplies. If there was one thing Logan loved as much as you, it was breakfast—specifically pancakes.
You whipped up a batch, taking extra care to shape them into letters. The smell of warm batter filled the air, and you couldn’t help but smile as you arranged the pancakes on a large plate, spelling out: You’re going to be a dad.
By the time Logan wandered into the kitchen, his hair sticking up in every direction and his usual gruff morning expression on full display, you were practically bouncing on your toes.
“Mornin’, sweetheart,” he grumbled, rubbing the back of his neck as he headed for the coffee maker.
“Morning,” you chirped, barely containing your excitement.
He turned, narrowing his eyes at you playfully. “What’s got you so chipper this early?”
You gestured to the table, where the plate of pancakes sat waiting. “I made you breakfast.”
Logan raised an eyebrow, clearly suspicious as he stepped closer. But the moment his eyes landed on the pancakes, his entire body stilled.
His gaze moved slowly over the words, his expression unreadable at first. Then, his eyes shot up to meet yours, wide and filled with a mixture of disbelief and hope. “Darlin’… are you serious?”
You nodded, tears brimming in your eyes as you whispered, “Logan, we’re going to have a baby.”
For a moment, he didn’t say anything. Then, he let out a shaky breath, a hand running through his hair as he took a step toward you. “You mean it? You’re… we’re…”
You smiled, nodding again as tears slipped down your cheeks. “Yes. It’s real.”
Logan’s arms were around you in an instant, pulling you tightly against his chest. You felt his body tremble slightly as he held you, his face buried in your neck. “I don’t even know what to say,” he murmured, his voice rough with emotion.
“You don’t have to say anything,” you whispered, your fingers tangling in his hair. “Just… be here with me. That’s all I need.”
He pulled back just enough to look at you, his hazel eyes shining with a rare vulnerability. “I never thought I’d get to have this,” he said softly. “A family. You’ve given me more than I ever thought I deserved.”
You cupped his face, your thumbs brushing away the tears that had slipped from his eyes. “You deserve everything, Logan. And I can’t wait to do this with you.”
A soft, genuine smile curved his lips as he leaned down, capturing yours in a kiss. His hand cradled your cheek, his touch warm. When he finally pulled back, he rested his forehead lightly against yours.
Logan’s gaze flickered downward, his expression softening even more as his roughened hand moved to rest on your stomach. His palm was warm against you, and for a moment, he seemed almost in awe, his thumb brushing gently over the fabric of your shirt.
A chuckle rumbled through him, deep and affectionate. “Things are about to get a whole lot more interesting,” he murmured, his voice carrying both wonder and a touch of that familiar, teasing tone.
Your lips curved into a smile as you rested your hand over his, fingers threading together as your eyes followed his gaze to where your hands now lay. “Yeah,” you whispered, the word carrying a quiet awe of your own. “They really are.”
The world outside the kitchen faded away as you both stood there, the enormity of what was to come settling in. Logan’s thumb idly traced circles over the back of your hand, his expression a mix of pride, love, and something almost boyish—like he couldn’t quite believe this was real.
“You know,” he said softly, his eyes lifting to meet yours, hazel and filled with an emotion so raw it made your breath catch, “I’m not sure how we’re gonna do this, but… I can’t wait to figure it out with you.”
Your chest tightened, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, but you held his gaze, your hand squeezing his. “We’ll figure it out,” you whispered, your voice trembling slightly but full of certainty. “Together. Like we always do.”
Unable to resist, you leaned into him, resting your head against his chest, your arms slipping around his waist. He held you close, his hand still protectively resting on your stomach as the other wrapped firmly around your back.
“You’re gonna be a great dad,” you murmured into his chest.
Logan let out a low, soft laugh, his chin brushing the top of your head as he pressed a kiss there. “I’ll try, sweetheart,” he said quietly, his voice heavy with emotion. “But with you beside me… I think I might just figure it out.”
You tilted your head up to meet his eyes again, a tear slipping free but your smile unwavering. “You already have,” you said softly, your fingers gently brushing along his jaw.
𓂃
Everything was going great—or, well, as great as could be expected when you were juggling teaching, mutant chaos, and the excitement of being newly pregnant. You’d gone to the doctor for a check-up, double-checking everything was on track, and Logan had been, well… different.
Attentive wasn’t even the right word for it. Logan had turned into an overprotective force of nature. He refused to let you lift anything heavier than a book, shot you a look of warning anytime you so much as bent down, and always seemed to be hovering nearby like he thought the baby might need saving from a falling bookshelf or something.
Not that you minded. In fact, you found it… sweet. Especially when his rough hands would slide under your shirt at the end of the day, his palms brushing over your barely-there bump as if he could somehow connect with the life growing inside you. The way he looked at you—at both of you—made your heart feel like it might burst.
But of course, Logan's changed behavior didn’t go unnoticed.
You and Logan stood outside on the mansion’s back patio, enjoying a rare moment of peace. The fresh air wrapped around you like a soft blanket, and you leaned back into his chest as his hands gently rested on your stomach, his thumbs absentmindedly brushing little circles there.
“I like that it’s just between us,” Logan murmured into your ear, his lips grazing the shell of it as his arms tightened around you.
You hummed in agreement, resting your hands over his. “Me too, but… we can’t hide it forever, you know.”
Logan chuckled low and warm, the sound sending a pleasant shiver down your spine. “Pretty sure Chuck already knows,” he muttered, the corner of his mouth quirking into a smirk. “And Jean. She’s probably just sittin’ on it, waitin’ for you to spill.”
You tilted your head back to glance at him, a knowing grin on your face. “Oh, she’s definitely sitting on it. Jean loves a good secret almost as much as she loves saying, ‘I told you so.’”
He grunted in agreement, lowering his head to press a soft kiss to the side of your neck. “If you wanna tell everyone, darlin’, just say the word. I’ll follow your lead.”
You sighed, closing your eyes as his lips trailed down your neck in a way that made you forget about anything other than the warmth of his embrace. “Should we do something special? Oh! What if—”
“Is there any place you two won’t get freaky in?”
The voice startled you both, and Logan quickly yanked your shirt back down as you peeked over his shoulder to see Scott and Ororo walking toward you. Ororo had a toolbox in hand, presumably for the greenhouse, and Scott, as usual, was looking far too amused for his own good.
You burst into laughter, unable to help yourself. “We were just—”
“Just about two seconds from Logan ripping your clothes off,” Scott interrupted with a smirk.
Logan shot him a glare, his arms still loosely wrapped around you. “I was not,” he growled, though the faintest hint of pink dusted his cheeks.
You grinned, turning in Logan’s hold to face them. “We were enjoying the fresh air, Summers. You should try it sometime. Might do wonders for your sunny personality.”
Scott rolled his eyes, but his expression grew suspicious as he glanced between you and Logan. “Something’s… different.”
“Yeah,” Ororo chimed in, narrowing her eyes at Logan. “He’s not acting like himself. He didn’t even make a sarcastic remark about Scott interrupting his make-out session.”
Logan groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as if to will away their nonsense. “I’m right here, you know.”
Ororo gasped dramatically, clutching her chest. “No witty remark again? What in the world is happening? Is Logan… soft now?”
Scott snorted, crossing his arms. “What’s next? Is Logan volunteering to help with art class? Baking cookies for the kids?”
You bit back a laugh, looking up at Logan with mock seriousness. “You have been oddly chipper lately. You’re not sneakin’ cookies out of the kitchen again, are you?”
Logan shot you a look, though the faintest twitch of a smirk betrayed him. “Real funny, sweetheart.”
“Actually,” Ororo interjected, her eyes narrowing in playful suspicion, “maybe it’s not the cookies. Maybe you’re the reason Logan’s gone all soft and smiley.”
Scott’s eyebrows shot up, his lips curving into a sly grin. “Ohhhh, I think ‘Ro’s onto something. Spill it, you two. What are you hiding?”
Logan sighed, running a hand down his face as he grumbled, “Can’t a guy just be happy without you nosy lot diggin’ into it?”
Ororo and Scott exchanged knowing looks, but before they could press further, you took pity on Logan and looped your arms around his waist. “Honestly, I think Logan’s just been spending too much time with you two,” you teased. “It’s rubbing off on him. Maybe we should keep our distance, huh?”
Scott chuckled, shaking his head. “Yeah, right. Whatever’s going on, I’ll figure it out eventually.”
“Don’t hold your breath,” Logan muttered, shooting Scott a glare as he led you back toward the mansion.
Once you were out of earshot, you rose up on your toes, your voice dropping to a playful whisper. “Well, that went… better than expected. Look at you, handling things so maturely.”
Logan glanced down at you, his signature smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, sweetheart,” he drawled, his tone low and teasing. “I’ve still got plenty of gruff left in me.”
“Oh, I know,” you quipped, giving his hand a gentle squeeze as you leaned into him. “But maybe you should save a little of that charm to keep them from growing even more suspicious. You’re practically glowing, Logan.”
He huffed a soft laugh, the sound rumbling in his chest as his fingers brushed absentmindedly over your stomach. “So, let me get this straight—you’re tellin’ me to be grumpy? Never thought I’d hear you say that.”
You grinned, nudging him with your elbow. “Hey, mister, I love you and all your grumpiness. You can’t just go soft on me because we’re having a baby.”
His lips twitched, but he wasn’t listening anymore. His gaze had shifted, fixating on your stomach with a quiet intensity, like the world had narrowed down to just the two of you—and the life you were carrying. His fingers stilled, brushing softly over the fabric of your shirt as if he could feel the baby beneath it.
“Logan,” you said, trying to stifle a smile as you reached up to cup his jaw. You tilted his face back up toward yours, catching his hazel eyes. “Eyes up here, tough guy.”
He blinked, snapping out of his daze, though his lips curved into a sheepish smirk. “Can’t help it,” he muttered, his voice softer now. “Kinda hard to believe, ya know? That it’s… really happening.”
Your heart squeezed, and you ran your thumb gently along the scruff of his jaw. “It’s happening,” you murmured, your voice tender. “And you’re already doing so much. You’re gonna be the best dad, Logan. I know it.”
His hand slipped up from your stomach to rest against your hip, grounding himself in your touch. “Dunno about the best,” he said, his voice low and raw, “but I’m sure as hell gonna try. For you. For them.”
Tears prickled at the corners of your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. Instead, you leaned up, brushing your lips softly against his. “You’ve got nothing to prove, you know,” you whispered against his mouth. “You’re already everything we need.”
Logan didn’t say anything for a moment, just let his forehead rest against yours as he closed his eyes. His hand found its way back to your stomach, resting there protectively. “You make this gruff old guy believe in things he never thought he’d have,” he finally murmured, his voice rough with emotion.
“Good,” you replied with a small smile, threading your fingers through his. “Because we’re not going anywhere, Logan. You’ve got us—gruffness and all.”
He chuckled, pressing a kiss to your temple before wrapping his arm around you and guiding you back toward the mansion. “Guess I better start practicing my grumpy dad voice, huh?”
“Oh, absolutely,” you teased, leaning into him as the warmth of his presence surrounded you. “You’ve got a reputation to maintain, after all.”
𓂃
A few days later, you stood in front of your class, pacing slowly as you explained the finer points of literary symbolism. Your voice was steady, your gestures fluid, but the dull ache in your lower back that had been nagging you all morning suddenly sharpened, sending a jolt of pain through your abdomen.
You froze mid-sentence, your breath hitching, one hand instinctively moving to your stomach.
“Mrs. Howlett?” a girl in the front row asked hesitantly, her wide eyes filled with concern. “Are you okay?”
You forced a smile, straightening up despite the discomfort clawing its way through you. “I’m fine,” you replied, your voice gentle but strained. “Just… give me a moment.”
The room felt too warm, the air heavy, and the students’ curious gazes only amplified your unease. You gripped the edge of your desk to steady yourself, taking a slow breath.
“Claire,” you said, turning to the girl who had spoken up, your tone soft but firm. “Can you keep an eye on the class for a few minutes? I’ll be right back.”
She nodded quickly, her concern etched into her features, and you grabbed your bag, clutching it tightly as you made your way to the door.
The hallway felt endless as you walked, the sharp pain twisting in your abdomen with every step. You tried to focus on your breathing, on the soft click of your shoes against the tiled floor, but panic was starting to creep into your mind.
By the time you reached the bathroom, your hands were trembling. You pushed the door open, the fluorescent lights casting a harsh glow as you stumbled toward the sink. The pain was intensifying, and a sense of dread settled heavily in your chest.
The sound of the bathroom door shutting behind you echoed in the silence, but you barely heard it over the pounding in your ears. Something was wrong—very wrong. Your hands trembled as you stumbled into a stall, the sharp pain in your abdomen making it hard to catch your breath.
You fumbled with the clasp of your bag, searching desperately for aspirin, though deep down, you knew no pill was going to fix this. Then you felt it—a warm, wet sensation and your heart plummeted.
“No, no, no…” you whispered, your voice cracking as you yanked open the bathroom stall door and hurried to the sink.
With shaky hands, you splashed cold water on your face, trying to calm your racing thoughts. But when you glanced down and saw the crimson staining your pants, the world seemed to tilt on its axis.
Panic clawed at your chest, your breath coming in short, shallow gasps. “Please, no… please…” Tears blurred your vision as you stumbled back, your legs giving out beneath you. You crumpled to the bathroom floor, clutching your stomach as sobs wracked your body.
This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t be.
In the hallway, Logan was walking back to his classroom after helping a student with a project. He’d been in a surprisingly light mood—until he heard it. The sound of your sobbing carried faintly down the corridor, and his entire body tensed.
He broke into a sprint, following the sound to the bathroom door.
“Darlin’, you in there?” His voice was urgent. The sound of his voice only made you cry harder. You couldn’t bring yourself to respond, couldn’t find the strength to tell him what was happening.
Logan didn’t wait for an answer. He pushed open the bathroom door, and the sight before him made his heart stop.
You were curled up on the floor, your arms wrapped tightly around your stomach as you sobbed uncontrollably. The crimson streaks on the tiles told him everything he needed to know.
“Sweetheart,” he breathed, his voice breaking as he rushed to your side. He dropped to his knees beside you, his hands hovering over you like he wasn’t sure where to touch without hurting you further.
You looked up at him, your tear-streaked face filled with anguish. “Logan… I think—I think we lost—”
Your words dissolved into a fresh wave of sobs, and Logan’s chest ached with the weight of your pain. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you tightly against his chest, holding you as if he could shield you from the cruel reality of what was happening.
“I’m here,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “I’m here, darlin’. I’ve got you.”
You clung to him, your fists gripping his shirt like it was the only thing keeping you from completely falling apart. Logan’s hand found its way to your hair, stroking it gently as he rocked you back and forth.
“It’s not your fault,” he murmured, his voice trembling. “Do you hear me? It’s not your fault. Don’t you dare blame yourself for this.”
“I… I wanted this so badly,” you choked out between sobs, your face buried in his chest. “I wanted this for us, Logan. And now it’s… it’s gone.”
Logan’s jaw clenched, his eyes burning with unshed tears. He hated how powerless he felt—how he couldn’t fix this for you, couldn’t take away your pain.
He gently scooped you up into his arms, cradling you like you were the most precious thing in the world. “C’mon, sweetheart,” he murmured, his voice barely audible. “Let’s get you outta here.”
You buried your face against his neck, your tears soaking into his shirt as he carried you down the hallway. Logan’s usual gruffness was gone, replaced by a quiet, tender resolve to be whatever you needed him to be at this moment.
When he reached your shared room, he gently laid you down on the bed, pulling the blanket over you. He sat down beside you, his hand never leaving yours, his thumb tracing soothing circles over your knuckles.
Your words were barely a whisper, fragile and heavy. “I’d gotten used to the idea of us… us being parents.” The tremble in your voice made Logan’s chest tighten, and he couldn’t stop the pained expression that flickered across his face.
He leaned closer, resting his forehead against yours, his hands cradling your face. “I know, sweetheart,” he murmured, his voice low and raw. “We… we just have to find a way to keep going.”
You gave a small, broken nod, tears slipping down your cheeks as your fingers reached out, trembling slightly, to cup his cheek. “I just… I wish I could fix this, Logan. I wish I could do something to make it better.”
Logan’s jaw clenched as he swallowed hard, his thumb brushing over your cheek, wiping away a tear. “There’s nothin’ to fix, darlin’,” he said quietly, though his own voice cracked at the end. “This ain’t on you. It never was.”
But you shook your head, your voice breaking into a sob. “It feels like it is. What if—what if my body just… can’t? What if this is because of me?”
The words spilled out, laden with guilt you couldn’t seem to shake. Logan’s breath hitched, and for a moment, he couldn’t speak. He hated seeing you like this—so vulnerable, so broken, carrying the weight of something that wasn’t yours to carry.
“Stop,” he said firmly, though his tone was still soft, his hand gently tilting your chin up so you’d look at him. His hazel eyes, glassy with his unshed tears, locked onto yours. “Don’t you dare blame yourself for this.”
You shook your head again, unable to stop the wave of tears that came. “But what if it’s me, Logan? What if I can’t—”
“Enough,” he cut in, his voice barely above a whisper, but the rawness of it stopped you in your tracks. “It’s not your fault. You hear me? This… this is just somethin’ that happened. And it hurts like hell, but it doesn’t mean you failed.”
His words cracked something inside of you, and you turned away, burying your face into the pillow as another sob wracked your body. Logan didn’t pull away. He stayed close, his hand rubbing slow, steady circles on your back, his presence grounding you even as your world felt like it was crumbling.
After a moment, Logan’s voice broke the heavy silence, softer now, as if he was speaking to himself as much as to you. “Darlin’, we’re not givin’ up. We’ve faced worse. We’ll get through this, too. But you gotta stop thinkin’ this is somethin’ you did.”
Your muffled voice came from the pillow, shaky and raw. “But I wanted it so badly, Logan. I already—I already pictured everything. The nursery, the little shoes… us holding—now it’s been ripped away from us.”
Logan’s chest ached at your words, and he let out a shaky breath, leaning down to press a kiss to your temple. “I know,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I wanted it too. I already saw you as a mom, sweetheart. I still do. I always will.”
You turned your head slightly, your tear-streaked face meeting his gaze. His honesty—his vulnerability—broke through the wall of guilt you’d been building. “You still…?”
“Always,” he said firmly, his thumb brushing away another tear. “I’m not gonna let this define us. We’re more than this pain. And I know it feels impossible right now, but we’ll figure it out. We always do.”
A shaky sob escaped you as you reached for him, wrapping your arms around his neck. Logan pulled you close, holding you tightly against him, his hand tangling in your hair as he pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead.
“You’re not alone in this,” he murmured, his voice a quiet promise. “We’re in this together, no matter what. You and me.”
You allowed yourself to lean fully into him, your tears soaking into his shirt as he held you. His arms were strong and steady, and the way he cradled you made you feel, just for a moment, like maybe things could be okay again.
“I love you,” you whispered into his chest, the words muffled but heavy with meaning.
“I love you too, sweetheart,” he replied, his voice rough with emotion as he rested his chin on top of your head. “More than anything. Don’t forget that.”
𓂃
Life was supposed to keep moving, but for you and Logan, it felt like time had stopped. The days blurred into weeks, and while the mansion hummed with the usual chaos of students and X-Men missions, you both drifted through it like ghosts.
The weight of the miscarriage hung heavy between you, unspoken but ever-present. You couldn’t bear to talk about it, not yet. Not to anyone except Logan, and even then, words often failed. Nights were the only solace, the quiet hours where he held you tightly in his arms as you sobbed until exhaustion finally overtook you. In those moments, he didn’t say much—what was there to say even as his own grief simmered just beneath the surface.
Logan hated feeling helpless, but this was something he couldn’t fight, couldn’t fix. He saw the pain in your eyes every time you avoided his gaze, the way you masked your tears with a smile that never quite reached your face. And it scared him. His mind spiraled into dark places late at night when he couldn’t sleep. What if this broke you? What if it broke your marriage? What if you left him because he couldn’t give you what you wanted?
The others started to notice. It wasn’t just that you both were quieter than usual—it was the way Logan didn’t bite back as much during arguments or how your laughter, which used to light up any room, had grown rare.
“You two seem pretty... off lately,” Scott had commented to Logan one morning in the kitchen.
Logan barely glanced at him, too tired to muster a sarcastic reply. “We’re fine,” he muttered, his tone gruff but unconvincing.
Scott frowned, crossing his arms. “Fine? You’ve barely said three words to anyone all week, and she’s not much better. Is something going on?”
Logan clenched his jaw, his hand tightening around the coffee mug he was holding. “Drop it, Summers,” he growled before walking out, heading upstairs to check on you.
But Scott didn’t drop it.
It was a Friday night, and the team had gathered in the living room for what was supposed to be a relaxing evening. Someone had put on a movie, but the dialogue barely registered as you sat curled up on the couch next to Logan. His arm was draped around your shoulders, protective as always, but you could feel the tension in his body. You weren’t much better, fidgeting with the edge of the blanket you had pulled over your lap.
“Alright,” Scott said, breaking the lull in conversation. “I can’t be the only one who’s noticed something’s off with these two.”
You froze, your fingers tightening on the blanket as all eyes turned toward you and Logan.
“Scott,” Jean warned, her tone cautious.
“What?” Scott pressed, looking around the room for support. “They’ve been acting strange for weeks now. Don’t tell me none of you have noticed.”
You forced a smile, trying to deflect. “We’re fine, Scott. Just busy, that’s all.”
Scott wasn’t convinced. “Busy? Come on. You guys are like the most annoying, lovey-dovey couple in this place. Now you’re quiet and avoiding everyone? Something’s up.”
“Scott, maybe—” Ororo started, but Scott cut her off.
“No, I’m serious. If something’s wrong, we can help, but we can’t do that if you don’t tell us what’s going on.”
Logan’s grip on your shoulder tightened, and you could feel the tension radiating off him. He leaned forward, his jaw clenched, his voice dangerously low. “I said drop it, Summers.”
“Why? What’s the big deal? We’re just trying to—”
Before he could finish, Logan shot to his feet, his voice breaking as he shouted, “Because we lost our baby, alright?”
The room fell into a stunned silence. Logan’s chest heaved, his hands clenched into fists at his sides as he stood there, raw and vulnerable in a way none of them had ever seen.
You stared up at him, your heart breaking all over again as you saw the tears streaming down his face, the anguish he’d been holding back finally spilling over. Logan, the man who never cried, was now sobbing in front of everyone, his shoulders shaking as he tried—and failed—to pull himself together.
“Logan…” you whispered, rising to your feet and reaching for him.
He shook his head, his voice cracking. “I—I couldn’t protect the baby. I couldn’t do anything. It’s my fault, sweetheart. I let you down.”
“Stop,” you said firmly, wrapping your arms around him despite the way he tried to pull back. “Logan, stop. It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault.”
He collapsed into your embrace, his head resting against your shoulder as he clung to you, his sobs muffled against your skin. “I’m so sorry,” he choked out, his voice broken.
Tears streamed down your face as you held him, your fingers tangling in his hair as you whispered, “You didn’t let me down. You could never let me down.”
The others sat in stunned silence, their initial shock giving way to quiet understanding. Jean wiped at her tears, her hand resting on Scott’s arm to keep him from saying anything more.
“It’s going to be okay,” you murmured into Logan’s ear, your voice trembling under the weight of your uncertainty. The words felt hollow, like trying to patch a dam with a handful of sand, but you needed him to hear them, to believe them.
Logan pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, his hazel eyes brimming with unspoken pain. His rough edges, the walls he so carefully built, seemed to crumble in that moment. “I don’t know how to do this,” he admitted, his voice hoarse and raw, each word a struggle.
“You don’t have to know,” you whispered, your fingertips brushing a tear from his cheek, the small gesture grounding both of you.
For a moment, he just stared at you, like he was searching for something—hope, strength, maybe even forgiveness. Then, with a shaky exhale, he let himself lean into you, his weight resting against your shoulder as though surrendering to the vulnerability he so often avoided.
You guided him back to the couch, easing him down with gentle hands. Logan found your hand gripping it firmly, almost desperate, as if letting go would make the pain worse. You stayed by his side while the rest of the team sat in stunned silence. Their usual chatter and banter were gone, replaced by an unspoken understanding that this was something fragile that required care.
Jean broke the stillness, her voice soft but resolute. “Why don’t we give them some space?”
One by one, the others stood, their footsteps hesitant as they left the room. Scott lingered near the doorway, his expression conflicted. He seemed rooted to the spot, torn between leaving and staying.
“I’m sorry,” Scott finally said, his voice cracking under the weight of his guilt. He took a step closer, his gaze darting between you and Logan. “I didn’t mean to push earlier. I didn’t know…”
Logan lifted his head slightly, his jaw tight, his expression unreadable. The tension in the room was palpable, but there was no anger in his gaze—just a quiet exhaustion.
Scott ran a hand through his hair, clearly struggling to find the right words. “I was out of line,” he admitted, his voice thick with emotion. “I didn’t realize… I just thought something was off, and I pushed when I shouldn’t have.”
Jean stepped into the room, placing a steadying hand on Scott’s arm. She looked at both of you, her own eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Scott didn’t mean to make things worse,” she said gently. “We’ve… we’ve been where you are.”
You blinked, taken aback. “What do you mean?”
Jean hesitated, her fingers tightening on Scott’s arm as if drawing strength from him. “Before we had Nathan, we… we lost a baby.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, but the weight of her confession filled the room.
You felt your chest tighten before glancing at Logan, who looked just as surprised as you. Scott’s usual stoic demeanor was gone, replaced by a raw vulnerability that you had never seen before.
Scott cleared his throat, his gaze fixed on the floor. “We didn’t tell anyone. Not even the Professor. It was early… and we thought we could handle it on our own.” He let out a shaky breath, his hands clenching at his sides. “But it was hard. Harder than we ever expected.”
Jean nodded, her eyes glistening as she looked at you. “We blamed ourselves. Blamed each other. But eventually, we realized… it wasn’t anyone’s fault. It just… it happens.”
You blinked, the tears welling in your eyes threatening to spill over again. “I didn’t know,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.
Scott let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “No one did. I thought if I buried it deep enough, it wouldn’t hurt as much. But seeing you two...” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat, trying to steady himself. “I’m sorry for pushing earlier. I didn’t mean to make things worse.”
Jean stepped closer, her hand reaching out to yours. “It’s going to take time,” she said softly. “But you don’t have to go through it alone. If you ever need to talk… we’re here.”
Her words, simple but heartfelt, broke through the wall of grief that had been suffocating you. You nodded, a small, grateful smile breaking through your tears. “Thank you,” you whispered.
Scott extended a hand to Logan, who hesitated for a moment before shaking it. It wasn’t much, but it felt like the beginning of an unspoken understanding, a bridge between two men who had rarely seen eye to eye.
As they left the room, you turned to Logan, your hand squeezing his. “That… helped. A little.”
Logan nodded, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “Yeah,” he murmured, his voice low and steady. “Guess even Scott has his moments.”
You managed a weak laugh, leaning into him as he pulled you close. For the first time in weeks, the weight on your chest felt slightly lighter even if you knew this was only the beginning of trying to find a new normal.
𓂃
Months had passed since the miscarriage, and while life had begun to find its rhythm again, the pain lingered like an uninvited guest. The grief wasn’t as sharp as it had been in the beginning, but it still loomed over you and Logan, casting a shadow on your once-effortless connection. You both knew it wasn’t your fault, but knowing and feeling weren’t always the same.
Logan, always the protector, had become even more so in the aftermath. His hand rarely left yours, as if letting go for even a moment might cause something else to slip away. He hovered constantly—not in a stifling way, but in a way that spoke volumes about his fear and guilt. While you appreciated his care, you could see that he was holding something back, burying his pain in the only way he knew how.
It wasn’t until one late night, when you reached out for him in bed and found his side cold and empty, that you realized just how much he was struggling. Pulling on a robe, you wandered the quiet halls of the mansion, searching for him. It didn’t take long; you heard the familiar snikt of his claws in the training room.
Peeking inside, your heart broke at the sight of him. Logan stood shirtless in the dim light, sweat dripping from his forehead as he lunged at the sparring dummy. His movements were wild, full of rage and frustration. His claws tore through the dummy with brutal efficiency, slashing and stabbing until it was shredded to pieces. When the dummy finally collapsed in a heap, Logan dropped to his knees, his claws retracting with a metallic hiss. He leaned forward, bracing himself on his hands, his breath coming in harsh, uneven gasps.
You stayed in the doorway for a moment, debating whether to give him space or step in. But as you saw his shoulders slump, the weight of his grief almost palpable, you couldn’t hold back.
“Logan,” you called softly, stepping into the room.
His head whipped around, his eyes wild for a second before softening when he saw you. He wiped a hand across his face as if trying to compose himself. “What’re you doin’ up, sweetheart?” he asked gruffly, his voice low and strained.
“I could ask you the same thing,” you replied, walking closer until you stood in front of him. “I woke up, and you weren’t there.”
He looked away, his jaw tightening. “Just needed to… work some things out.”
You knelt in front of him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “You can’t keep doing this, Logan. Pushing it all down, burying it in anger. It’s not going to help.”
His eyes flickered back to you, and for a moment, you saw the raw vulnerability he rarely let anyone see. “I don’t know what else to do,” he admitted, his voice breaking slightly. “I can’t… I can’t stop thinkin’ about it. I don’t know how to make it right.”
You cupped his face in your hands, forcing him to look at you. “You don’t have to make it right,” you said softly, your voice trembling with emotion. “We can’t fix this. We just have to accept it and move on.”
His eyes filled with tears, and he shook his head, his hands coming up to cover yours. “I just wanted to protect you. To give you… everything,” he said, his voice cracking. “And I couldn’t even do that.”
“You did,” you insisted, your thumbs brushing his cheekbones. “Logan, you were there for me every step of the way. You held me when I thought I wasn’t worthy of it. You loved me through it. That’s everything. But you have to let yourself grieve too. You can’t keep punishing yourself like this.”
He looked up at you, his hazel eyes searching yours as if trying to find some kind of answer. Finally, he pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly against him. You felt his chest heave as a sob escaped him, and it broke your heart all over again. You stroked his hair, whispering soothing words as he finally let himself feel the weight of his grief.
After a while, when his breathing steadied, you pulled back just enough to meet his gaze. “Logan,” you began gently, “we need to get out of here. Just for a little while. Go somewhere quiet, just the two of us. We need time to heal.”
He hesitated, his brows furrowing. “You think runnin’ away’s gonna fix it?”
“It’s not running away,” you said firmly. “It’s giving ourselves a chance to breathe. To remember who we are together. We’ve been so caught up in the pain… we need to find our way back to each other.”
He considered your words for a moment, then nodded slowly. “Alright,” he said quietly. “Where do you wanna go?”
You smiled faintly, brushing a stray strand of hair from his face. “Somewhere peaceful. Maybe the cabin up north? Just us. No distractions, no one else.”
Logan exhaled, his shoulders relaxing slightly for the first time in what felt like weeks. “Yeah,” he said, his voice soft but resolute. “I think that’s exactly what we need.”
You leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to his lips feeling a flicker of hope. It wouldn’t be easy, but you knew that as long as you had each other, you could find a way forward.
𓂃
The secluded cabin was tucked away in a quiet corner of nowhere, surrounded by towering trees that swayed softly in the breeze. The air smelled of pine and earth, and the only sounds were the rustling of leaves and the occasional chirp of birds. It was peaceful, untouched, and exactly what you and Logan needed to find each other again.
The calm of the place had worked its magic over the past week. The tension that had weighed heavy on your shoulders began to ease, and you could see the same was true for Logan. His usual gruffness was quieter here, softened by the stillness of the forest and the warmth of the cabin.
As you laced up your hiking boots near the fireplace, you glanced out the window at the sun filtering through the trees. “I’m gonna walk the trail,” you announced casually, straightening up and brushing your hands against your jeans.
Logan’s voice rumbled behind you as he walked into the small living room. “Do you want to go alone?” He leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed as a small, warm smile played on his lips.
You turned to face him, quirking an eyebrow as you stepped closer. “Depends… are you gonna be good company, tough guy?”
That earned you the smallest huff of laughter, his smirk tugging wider. “There she is,” he murmured, his tone warm and teasing as he reached out to pull you into his arms. His lips brushed against the bridge of your nose, lingering for just a moment before he tilted his forehead against yours. “I missed those little remarks,” he admitted quietly.
You chuckled, your hands sliding up to rest on his chest. “And here I thought they annoyed you,” you teased, glancing up at him with a playful glint in your eyes.
Logan rolled his eyes, though the grin that spread across his face betrayed him. “Darlin’, I’d be lost without ‘em,” he said, his voice softer now. His hazel eyes searched yours for a moment, and his hand came up to gently cup your cheek. “I love you,” he added, the words quiet but weighty, as if they held the sum of everything he couldn’t quite say.
You felt a warmth spread through your chest, and you leaned into his touch, brushing your thumb over the back of his hand. “I love you too,” you whispered, the words spilling out like a promise. Then you grinned, breaking the moment with a playful nudge to his side. “Now hurry up, or I’m leaving you behind.”
Logan smirked, dropping his hand to give your hip a playful squeeze. “Don’t get cocky. Let me grab my boots.” He turned toward the door, muttering something about you always keeping him on his toes, but there was no bite to his words—just affection.
A few minutes later, the two of you were walking side by side down the dirt trail, surrounded by the serene beauty of the forest. The sunlight trickled through the canopy above, casting dappled patterns on the ground. You could hear the crunch of leaves beneath your boots and the faint trickle of a nearby stream.
For a while, neither of you spoke, content to simply exist in the quiet of nature and each other’s presence. Logan reached out to take your hand, his fingers wrapping securely around yours. You glanced up at him, catching the way the golden light softened his rugged features. He looked more at ease than he had in months, and it made your heart ache.
“You know,” you began, a teasing lilt in your voice, “I didn’t peg you for the hand-holding type.”
Logan glanced down at you, one brow arching. “Don’t start,” he warned, though the corner of his mouth twitched.
“What? I think it’s cute.” You swung his hand slightly, earning a quiet groan.
“You’re lucky I’m in a good mood,” he muttered, but the smirk tugging at his lips gave him away.
You laughed, leaning into his side as you walked. “Admit it—you like it.”
He let out a low chuckle, his thumb brushing over the back of your hand. “Maybe I do,” he murmured, his voice softer now. “Can’t say I mind when it’s with you.”
Your chest swelled at the admission, and you stopped walking for a moment, turning to face him. “Thank you,” you said, your voice earnest.
Logan frowned slightly, confused. “For what?”
“For bringing me here,” you explained, gesturing to the forest around you. “For… letting me have this time with you. I needed it.”
His expression softened, and he reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “I needed it too,” he admitted, his voice low. “I didn’t know how much until now.”
You smiled, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. “You know, this whole reconnecting thing looks good on you, Logan.”
He huffed a laugh, shaking his head. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t let it go to your head.”
“Oh, it’s already there,” you teased, slipping your arms around his waist. “Now, let’s see if you can keep up, old man.”
Logan let out a bark of laughter, his hand sliding to rest on your lower back. “You’re gonna regret that, sweetheart,” he warned, his voice full of playful challenge.
“Promises, promises,” you shot back with a grin, taking off down the trail as Logan chased after you, the sound of your laughter carrying through the trees.
Eventually, Logan caught up to you, his strong arms wrapping securely around your waist as he pulled you to a stop. Your laughter echoed through the trees, a sound that seemed to brighten the peaceful forest around you. “I was so sure I was gonna win,” you teased, still catching your breath as you squirmed halfheartedly in his grip.
Logan let out a low chuckle, the rumble of it vibrating through you. “Guess I’m not as old as you think I am,” he shot back, his smirk smug as he held you against his chest.
“Oh, you’re definitely old,” you teased, leaning back into him. “I mean, just look at your white—”
“Don’t finish that sentence, gorgeous,” Logan warned, cutting you off with a playful growl, though the amusement in his voice betrayed him.
You turned in his arms, grinning as your fingers reached up to play with the strands of his hair. “You know I love you,” you said softly, letting the teasing drop for a moment. “Pretty sure if I met you… say ten years from now, I’d still fall for you. Still, marry you.”
Logan’s expression softened, his hazel eyes meeting yours with a tenderness that made your chest tighten. “I don’t doubt that,” he murmured. “But for the record, darlin’, I’m glad it didn’t take ten years.”
You smiled, your fingers tracing small circles on the back of his neck. “Me too,” you whispered. The peaceful silence of the forest wrapped around you both, and for a moment, everything felt still, like the world had paused just for the two of you.
Logan’s hands settled on your hips. “You’ve been thinkin’ about the future a lot lately, haven’t you?” he asked, his voice quiet but full of understanding.
You hesitated for a beat, then nodded. “Yeah,” you admitted. “I mean, with everything that’s happened… I guess I just wonder what’s next for us. Like, are we supposed to keep trying? Or are we supposed to let it go?”
Logan’s jaw tightened slightly, his gaze dropping to where his hand rested on your waist. After a moment, he sighed and looked back up at you, his eyes steady and sure. “I think… maybe we don’t need to push so hard. If it happens, it happens,” he said, his voice low but resolute. “But what we’ve got right now? It’s enough for me. You’re enough for me.”
His words hit you like a warm wave, washing away the doubt and guilt that had lingered for weeks. “Logan…” you began, but your voice caught, the lump in your throat making it hard to speak. You swallowed hard and managed a smile. “You really mean that?”
“Of course I do,” he said, his thumb brushing gently against your cheek. “I don’t need anything else, sweetheart. Just you. The rest? That’s just… bonus.”
You let out a soft, shaky laugh, leaning your forehead against his. “You always know just what to say, don’t you?”
He smirked, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. “That’s my job, isn’t it?”
You grinned, shaking your head. “Well, for what it’s worth, I feel the same way. I don’t want us to lose ourselves trying to force something that’ll happen when it’s meant to.”
Logan’s arms tightened around you. “Good,” he murmured. “Because I don’t want to miss a single second of us, just the way we are.”
#logan howlett#wolverine#x men wolverine#x men logan#james logan howlett#logan howlett x you#logan x reader#hugh jackman#professor logan#logan howlett fic#logan howlett angst#days of future past#logan howlett fanfiction#marvel#logan howlet x reader#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett fluff
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Survival in Game
Cho Hyun-ju x Autistic!Fem!Reader
•I'm not autistic, but I have a brother and a cousin who are, so I used my experience living with them to write this character. English is not my first language, but I tried my best to write this without spelling errors. This is my first story on this app, so I hope it is good.
This wasn’t what you wanted for your life. Honestly, you didn’t even understand how you had gotten to this point. All you wanted was to take care of your mother, to repay all the effort she had put into you. And you knew how hard it had been for her.
She got pregnant young and raised you on her own, with no support system. Your father? Well, you never knew him. He disappeared as soon as he found out about the pregnancy. Your grandparents, embarrassed that she had gotten pregnant so young and without even getting married, abandoned her too. That’s how your mother faced the world alone, with you in her arms.
And things got even harder. You knew that being autistic made everything more challenging for her. As a child, you didn’t speak, and your first words came only after many therapy sessions, which were expensive. But she never gave up. You remembered seeing her come home, exhausted after a long day of work, but always with a smile.
— Mom is fine. You’re everything I need to have strength, — she would say, trying to hide her exhaustion.
But you knew the truth. You knew how much she fought, how she struggled to meet all your needs, to make sure you never lacked anything. Everything fell apart when she got sick. You were 19. The illness took all her strength, and she could no longer work. That’s when the weight of the world fell on you. You had to find a job, but no matter how hard you tried, no one wanted to give you a chance. When they saw you weren’t neurotypical, they wouldn’t give you a chance.
Life became a daily struggle. You survived doing small jobs here and there, while some kind neighbors helped with food baskets. But the money was never enough, and the debts started piling up. Your mother’s treatments were expensive, and with each unpaid bill, the despair grew.Then he appeared. The man in the suit.He appeared out of nowhere, as if fate had sent him. With a piercing look, holding a briefcase in his hand. He stopped in front of you while you were resting in one of the subway chairs, with a smile that made you just as uncomfortable as it did curious.
— Looks like you need an opportunity, don’t you?—You hesitated, unsure of what to respond. He seemed to know exactly who you were and what you were going through.
— I want to propose something to you.
And that’s when you got a card with geometric symbols and a phone number. You stared at it, your heart racing without fully understanding it.
---
And now, here you were: in a strange hall, surrounded by people you didn’t know, in a place you had never seen before, wearing clothes you didn’t even remember putting on, and the fabric itched. You weren’t the only one confused. Perplexed looks crossed the room, and nervous whispers filled the air.
Then they appeared: masked soldiers, wearing uniforms that seemed more threatening than functional. You couldn’t help but shrink back, a heavy feeling that something was terribly wrong.They began to speak, explaining what was happening.
— Excuse me! — A voice echoed. Your eyes followed the sound until they landed on a beautiful woman, who seemed just as indignant as she was confident. — They said it would just be some games, but you kidnapped us. And you still want me to believe this?
— We apologize, — one of the masked soldiers replied, the voice distorted by some sort of modifier. — It was a necessary measure to ensure the confidentiality of the games we are organizing.
Questions started popping up from all sides, but the answers provided no comfort, only more tension. You wanted to understand better, but it was hard to follow. The questions, the sounds around you, the smell of sweat and fear in the hall, everything was pulling you in different directions. You began to rock back and forth slightly, trying to focus. It was something that always helped. But the discomfort persisted.
---
You were led to a large open field, surrounded by high fences and cameras that seemed to record every movement. It was announced that the first game would begin soon. When a desperate man screamed that, if anyone was eliminated, they would die, a chill ran down your spine. It couldn’t be true... right? But when the game began, the illusion of safety shattered. The sharp sound of a gunshot cut through the air. Your eyes widened, shock paralyzing you. That sound — loud, deafening to your sensitive hearing — seemed to hammer in your head. You instinctively wanted to cover your ears to block out that deafening noise, but you felt someone hold your hands firmly, preventing any sudden movements.
— Don’t move, it’s dangerous. — The voice came from behind. It was the beautiful woman from before. There was something in the firmness of her tone that managed to cut through your panic, bringing some calm.
— My ears hurt, — you murmured, your voice trembling.
— I know. But you have to hold on. Just a little longer.
Chaos spread around you. People were screaming, some running in desperation, while others were falling to the sound of new gunshots. You felt terror take hold, a heavy knot in your throat. Your legs felt like stone.
— If you don't cross the line in time, they'll still kill you! Look at the doll's eyes! They're cameras that scan for motion! But it's not able to detect you if you're behind something! — screamed one of the players, his voice desperate. — So if you short, line up behind someone who's taller than you!
Your body wouldn’t respond. You were frozen, the noise and the fear trapping you in place.The beautiful woman stopped in front of you, blocking your view of the rest of the field.
— Keep going. — Her voice was urgent, yet gentle. — You need to keep going. Don’t worry, I’ll stay in front of you. Just follow me, okay?
You couldn’t verbalize, but when the music started again, you followed her. Each step behind her felt like an eternity, but she kept her promise, protecting you as you moved forward.
After the game ended, everyone was taken back to the room. The atmosphere was heavy, filled with fear and despair. Lost looks, uncertain steps — everyone seemed terrified, and you were no different.Sitting on one of the beds, you rocked back and forth, an automatic motion, a desperate attempt to find comfort. But it didn’t help. Your breathing was uneven, the sounds around you seemed amplified, and all you wanted was to leave. Your mind raced in circles, always returning to the same question: Why me? You just wanted to help your mother. Everything you did was for her, and now you were trapped here, too scared to do anything.Then the voice of the masked soldiers echoed through the room, imposing order, the man from before who said he had already participated in this game proposed the vote.At first, the idea of voting seemed like an escape. A chance to get out of that terrible situation.
But then they revealed the amount of money accumulated by the people who had died. The sum gleamed in a giant safe suspended in the room. The shine of the money seemed to hypnotize some. Murmurs started to arise. Many were considering staying. You felt a tightness in your chest.
When the vote began, the sound of buttons being pressed was like a constant drum in your ears. You watched the people go to the ballot box, one by one, pressing their votes. Some hesitated, others went with determination.When it was your turn, your hands trembled as you walked up to the ballot box. The panel blinked in front of you: a circle to stay and an “X” to leave. You could barely see properly, your vision blurred by the tears at the corners of your eyes.Your finger pressed the “X.” You wanted to leave, go home. You needed your mother as much as she needed you. But when the final vote was recorded and the numbers were revealed, your heart sank.The majority had chosen to stay.Panic took over you again. Your fingers began to tremble uncontrollably, and you went back to your bed, feeling your whole body tighten. Your mind was in chaos. The rocking movement returned, but this time even more intense, as if your body was trying to compensate for the avalanche of emotions.You felt helpless. You wanted to scream, to cry, but all you could do was try to hold onto the little control you still had.
The terror was greater than anything you had ever felt before. And, even worse, it was just the beginning
Part 2:
#autistic!reader#squid game#cho hyunju#player 120#cho hyun ju x reader#Cho Hyun-Ju fem!reader#Cho Hyun-Ju autistic!reader#park sunghoon#Squid game x reader
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“Not so loud princess”
Princess reader x thief sukuna
Royal au
CW: smut, name calling/pet names (slut,honey), weapons mention, tiny bit of knife play, virgin reader, porn with a plot
I’m not the most amazing at writing smut and idk how to use punctuation (also this is not edited) but enjoy!
Sukuna a well renowned thief in the criminal world,he had gotten a high level job: to steal some royal jewels. He was used to high level jobs but he had never attempted to steal from the royal palace itself, though it should be very interesting.
You, the princess had just gotten into bed after a long night of dancing and chatting with many other debutants and Noblemen. You sigh as you settle into your soft bed, your eyes fluttering closed as you drift off
Sukuna had calculated perfectly how to steal some jewels and be out of there without being noticed. He was going to sneak into the princess’s bedroom and keep her quiet with a knife as he took a few necklaces and earrings, maybe even a tiara if he’s lucky. He snuck past guards and maids doing some overnight work. He slowly opened your window,seeing your sleeping form and smirked to himself thinking this would be easy. His crimson eyes scanning the large room as he stepped into it, despite his very large frame he was as quiet as a mouse.
His well adjusted eyes looked through your various drawers and stands full of jewellery.He finally saw some earrings with giant Diamonds in the centre, just as he picked them up he was hit in the head with something heavy; he hit the floor and grabbed the back of his head “fuck” he groaned as he looked at what hit him. You stood over him in your cute little cotton night gown,a pure gold candle holder in your hands as you stood in an attacking stance “What are you doing here scum?!” You say trying to hide the shake in your voice. Sukuna almost laughed at the sight in front of him “relax princess, I’m not here to hurt you” he says getting up, he towered over you but you didn’t waver your stance or determination, “you’re not the dainty little thing people describe” he chuckles and steps closer “shut up! Answer your princess, what do you want?” You say slightly lowering your ‘weapon’. He scans over your form “just here for a few trinkets, you have so much you wouldn’t mind if I took one or two right?” He said pulling the large dagger out of his thigh garter. You lower the candle holder and step back “okay take some…just don’t kill me” you mumble in defeat.
He stepped closer and dragged the blunt edge of the blade along your collar bone, the feeling the cold metal against your exposed skin made you shiver “I won’t kill you princess” he whispers, you whimper softly “please don’t hurt me” you mumble; he chuckles and retracts the dagger, he turns and grabs a few pieces of jewellery before stuffing them in a pouch, he turns to leave but you stop him. “Is that it?” You ask, he looks over his shoulder at you “what do you mean? You wanted me to hurt you or something?” He says with an eyebrow raised, “no…it’s just, you have the princess here in nothing but a nightgown and you’re just going to leave?”
He grinned and turned around fully “I didn’t know her royal highness was a slut” he chuckles and walks closer, he was so massive. You swallow and look up at him, your nipples were poking through the thin cotton of your nightdress, it outlined your hips perfectly “besides…you couldn’t handle me princess” he smirks. You blush softly “you’re an ass” you mumble; he suddenly grabs your face in his large veiny hand causing you to gasp softly “what was that princess? You should speak up” he says leaning down, his breath fanning on your lips. You bite your lip soft and look up at him, his tattoos were attractive to say the least and his piercing red eyes made you feel naked. “N-nothing” you mumble.
He pulled his dagger out again and hooked the tip of it under a button of the top of your night gown “maybe I should take extra payment…this is a dangerous job you know?” He says popping the button off. Your chest rises and falls with your heavy breaths, you don’t reply and just watch the blade that’s so close to your skin, yet you’re not scared… your pussy is throbbing in a way you’ve never felt before. “Do you even know what sex is princess?” He chuckles, you blush deeply “yes!…it’s how you make babies” you say shyly, he chuckles again and pops the second button, getting a clearer view of your breasts.
You let your nightgown slip off your shoulders and pool at your feet, your panty-clad body on display for him. He tucks the dagger away and sets his hands on your hips, walking you back onto your bed “will you be gentle?” You whisper, “Mm…fine” he mumble and starts to unbutton his shirt. His muscular and tattoo filled torso revealed to you, he looked like a Greek god, your breath became even heavier and your chest rose and fell even quicker. Your eyes trail down to the pink path of hair that disappeared into his pants. “See something you like, your highness?” He says lowly with a boyish smirk in his face, your hands reach out to tentatively unbuckle his belt, he chuckles again “quite the eager little thing aren’t you?” He says helping you take his pants off. In one swift motion you pull his pants and boxers down together, your jaw almost drops when you see the size of his cock.
It seemed about 8 inches and quite thick, it was veiny and the tip was bright red, his cock stood tall and proud as it dripped with pre cum “do i turn you on that much?” You ask as you look up at him. “Hm…give it a taste honey” he says, you look back down at his cock and give his fat tip a kitten lick. He groans and puts his large hand on your head “that’s a good girl” he praises.his pre cum tasted a salty but for some reason you liked,you wrap your lips around the head and suck softly, your tongue swirling around it. He groaned and cursed under his breath, watching how your lips wrapped around him, it was so erotic;Before he got carried away he pulled your head away “lay back princess” he orders. You lay back on your bed and let your legs fall open, he can see the outline of your gushing pussy perfectly through the thin fabric or your cotton panties, “what the people say is right…you are fucking perfect” he mutters and runs his thumbs along your clothed slit making you moan softly. He peels your panties off to reveal your beautiful pussy, your clit hard and twitching, your virgin entrance practically calling his name.
He kneels down and buries his face between your legs, making you gasp out a moan, your hand instinctively going to hold his head as he licked between your folds. “Fucking delicious” he growls against your pussy, you let your head fall back as your fingers tangled in his hair, he sucked on your clit and lapped up your juices hungrily. You gasp and moan,never having felt like this when you slipped your fingers into your panties at night.He slipped a thick finger into your tight hole, your inner walls clenching around his finger “Virgin pussy is always the best” he murmurs, the sound vibrating onto your pussy. He started to pump his finger and in and out of your tight hole as he kissed and licked your clit, his large hand pinned you down by your pelvis to stop you from squirming, but it’s only made the pleasure more intense. Your moans and whines filled the room, you couldn’t even care about anyone hearing you, this man who’s name you didn’t even know was making you feel like you had discovered Pandora’s box and opened it.
He added another finger and starting scissoring your pussy open, twisting his fingers as he pumped them in and out, his tongue never stopped moving on your clit. You looked down at him with hazy eyes as he devoured you “so good- hah!~” you manage to get out, he smirks against your pussy and looks up at you “sukuna” he mutters against your clit. He pulls his fingers out and licks them clean “don’t be too loud” he says as he strokes himself, you’re still panting and feel like everything is moving so fast “s-sukuna?…” you whisper as you look up at him with lustful eyes, “yes ,princess?” “Will it hurt?” He would almost believe you were an innocent young girl if you hadn’t been the one to seduce him in the first place. He spread your pussy lips and looked at your hole “yeah…but the good kinda pain” he says. You swallow nervously and take a moment to really scan his face “you’re quite handsome, sukuna” you say softly, he looks at you as he keeps stroking himself “why thank you princess…you’re not so bad yourself” he smirks.
You didn’t know what it was about him, his voice? His tattoo? That scar that didn’t scare you as much as it should’ve? Perhaps it how he spoke, the soft purr in his deep voice that made your heart skip a beat? Either way you knew one thing, this criminal shouldn’t be near you, let alone be defiling you in such a manner.
He set one of his knees onto the bed, the other planted on the floor to brace him as he lined himself with your entrance, his dark red eyes looked into yours as he slowly pressed his tip into your small entrance. You gasp and whimpered, your hands immediately going to grip his bulging biceps, “relax” he whispered again your shoulder. He pressed kisses along your shoulder, that were surprisingly soft, he growled as he continued to push in; your tight walls squeezing him like a vice, he wasn’t sure if it was the thrill of fucking the princess or if you were just that perfect but he had never felt this good. He pushed in, inch by inch, he kissed you to stop you from crying out and whimpering so loudly; his tongue invading your mouth and not leaving a spot untouched as he claimed you fully. Your back arched off the bed and your nails dug into his skin as he bottomed out with a grunt, he left opened mouth kisses down your throat and along your collar bone as he allowed you to adjust to his size “if you fit into my pouch, princess,I’d steal you away right now” he whispers against your skin. “Sukuna…this is” you could barely finish a sentence, your whole body was feeling things it had never felt before, he ever so slowly started thrusting in and out, “oh…oh god!” Your nails left crescent shaped marks on his biceps. he started moving faster, his massive cock stretching you out impossibly “ah! Sukuna~!”, he put his hand over your mouth “shh…Not to loud princess”. Your loud moans and cries were muffled but the loud squelching of your pussy being pounded into was not, the sound of skin against skin filled the room, his climax was building up quickly and so was yours.
Your eyes started to roll back as he pounded in and out of you, “fuck…look at me princess, look at this scum of a man as he ruins your pretty pussy” he moans, nipping your ear, your breath was hot against his palm and your nails were almost making his back bleed as you clawed at his skin. His other hand reached down to rub your clit, your legs started to shiver at all this new stimulation, your pussy spasmed around him. You felt like your head was spinning, you looked up at him and moved his hand from your mouth, yanking him down for a kiss once more. You never felt anyone’s touch, anyone’s comfort but this? You hoped he’d sneak in and rob you every night if that’s what it took; the way your tongues tangled, how your bodies moved against each other it was addictive.
You were so close, so so close to gushing all over him. You break the kiss desperately, before you can speak he cuts you off “let go…cum for me” and just like magic you do just that. You bit down on his shoulder and creamed all over his cock that was still pounding into you, the way your walls squeezed around him threw him over the edge. He pulled out and came on your stomach like a gentleman. You were panting and whimpering softly as you laid back on your bed, your hair a mess and a thin sheen of sweat over your body, he’d never seen a more beautiful sight “that…that was so amazing” you whisper to him “it was” he whispers back and wipes his cum of your stomach with a tissue.
You sit up a little as you watch him get dressed “ what will you do with my jewels?” You ask curiously, he glances at you as he buttons up his shirt “I give them to my handler, he gives me a nice big payment and I get called for more jobs, that means more money” he says, “so…you’ll come back?” You ask hopeful, he chuckles “sure princess, just don’t tell on me alright?” He smirks; before you’re able to answer he disappears into the night.
You flopped back onto your bed and try to process what just happened, hoping he would keep his word and really come back.
#sukuna smut#sukuna x reader#jjk ryomen sukuna#ryomen sukuna#sukuna ryomen#sukuna ryomen smut#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk#sukuna#jujustsu kaisen x reader
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summary: this is a deep dive into zayne's persona in bed. just a heads up! this is my opinion babess ♡
authors note: just got back from a 4-day trip with my family and knew i had to write more about this post of mine AND I WILL. but until then, here's a little something to keep my zayne girlies on check hehe. i found this beautiful drawing on pinterest, credits to the beautiful owner.
warnings: nsfw content ahead! please proceed only if you are of legal age in your country ♡ • minors dni • talks about temperature play, edging, overstimulation, manhandling, etc.
word count: 1.3k
☆ zayne was a composed man until he was between your legs. his usual stoic demeanor crumbling down to sweet praises and a potty mouth for god knows how much time you allow him to go down on you.
☆ he's obsessed with pulling your torso closer to him and feeling the arch on your back with his hands. i said what i said and i have PROOF.
☆ that is because he is a control freak and loves to feel your body bending to his will.
☆ bro is all chivelry and gentle mannerisms until you both got your own house and freetime on zayne's hands. people can think that he is all vanilla and everything but i will say this man has the stamina of an athlete and the precisive hands of a surgeon canonically.
☆ this man CANNOT be vanilla with the little time he has on his hands and the iq he has to know everything about your body.
☆ i can see zayne paying attention to your every little move at the beginning of your relationship, commiting every little reaction of yours to his memory so that he never does something you won't enjoy.
☆ and he takes pride in that. glimpses of his smirk and the little sassiness he only shows in these moments are the proof of it.
☆ back to his potty mouth, i think zayne is the type of man to spend hours going down on you because he truly enjoys it. i'd say he's only second to xavier to spend major of his time between your legs.
☆ "fucking hell" "just like that, baby"
☆ oh he looooves talking you through it and i know it. like, in every intimate situation, zayne just loves to tease you and torment you with his mouth.
☆ and i mean the occasional "good girl", "that's it, princess", "let go for me, yeah", etc. he WON'T stop until you are overstimulated every time.
☆ i don't think zayne is into overstimulation when it comes to you, but he will go until you are pushing his head away from your core and spitting profanities in his ear. bro loves to hear you go mindless because of him.
☆ like he won't push you after you asked him to stop once (while giving head). but when it comes to him? bro takes pleasure in edging himself.
☆ zayne will be using his last drop of energy into thrusting into you after you both come a thousand times and he will be closing his eyes and throwing his head back and clenching his jaw and tensing all his muscles but he WON'T stop it until you are crying for him to stop. literally.
☆ his dick would ache and both of your bodies would be a mess but he would overstimulate himself for the pleasure of it.
☆ and when you find that out? you'd be making this man drool when giving him head. like he could already have come twice but you'd still be going at it and he would grip your hair so tight and keep fucking himself into your mouth until his body can't take it anymore.
☆ i feel like zayne doesn't know how strong he is when it comes to intimate sessions. like he has a powerful evol and knows how to fight, but he doesn't think much when he is pushing you around on the bed.
☆ manhandling final boss and that's on PERIOD. his last card literally screams this.
☆ loves praising and to be praised.
☆ funnily enough i feel like he has zero patience when he is actually horny but still be committed to the foreplay.
☆ the only time he is irritatingly patient is when you’re trying to dom him and he sees it in your eyes that you like being on top. he would muster all the patience he has and wait for your signal that you are tired and want him to take the control back.
☆ roleplaying? it's a yes in zayne's book. he can't count how many times he has dreamt of you being his secretary or something really corny like that.
☆ bro secretly has a restraint kink. like he loves to see you struggling so you could touch him or see him when all he did was tie your hands with his tie or cover your eyes while he sucks your chest.
☆ a brat tamer. OH MY GOD. why don't i see more people talking about this??? like zayne is the ultimate brat tamer. and i don't mean it for fun like sylus or rafayel would be into, i mean it in a way where zayne would LIVE this on a daily basis.
☆ he'd probably be ACTUALLY pissed if you don't go by a rule both of you previously established. or when you tease him when he is at work.
☆ you both know zayne needs his sanity to finish his crazy work hours, and that he is completely a freak when it comes to lingerie on you. so he would be actually LIVID if you send him a more revealing selfie or a full-on nude while he's at work.
☆ bro LOSES IT. and spends the rest of the day semi-hard or completely distracted. the worst part? he has a 6-hour surgery scheduled today.
☆ expect this man to pounce on you once he gets home. it doesn't matter where you are or what you are doing, zayne would use his strength to manhandle you to his arms and take out his frustration on you for the rest of the night. that's where he will enjoy your cries and pleas the most.
☆ i probably will make a whole drabble about temperature play with zayne but for now i'll say this: zayne is new to this as much as you are.
☆ the first time that he loses control of his evol while with you bro panics. he thinks you are screaming from pain but you are actually coming from the temperature difference inside of you.
☆ imagine...
☆ he didn't realize his cum would actually become fucking snowflakes and that you are extremely hot on the inside, making your body jolt from the initial shock and scream from pleasure.
☆ he would stop everything and start to wonder why were you getting even tighter? and why is his hands fucking freezing the bedframe?!
☆ he probably would come twice as hard now and you would scream even louder than before because his ropes are actually chilly.
☆ fuck, just imagine how red he would get after realizing what truly happened? like he didn't even know that was possible.
☆ and when he gets out of you and he sees just how much he came, he would get even more horny than before and want to go another round.
☆ "can you feel this?", he pushes his cold cum back into your heat and you start spasming from the sensitivity, his even more cold fingers making you see starts. "zayne...", you'd whine and push his hand away, trying to stop the niagara falls between your legs.
☆ he is SO dirty i just know it. loves getting it messy, especially if you both have the time.
☆ if you don't, he'd also be the biggest fan of a quickie in his office where he can shut your mouth and bend your ass over his desk. he'd probably blame the time and say it is more "effective" for him if it's this way.
☆ man just likes to shut you up and make you take it.
☆ i swear i am finishing this but i need to say it: zayne would deny every little thing you accuse him of doing inside the bathroom. like bro would pretend that was a whole different person.
☆ you are like "you literally just fucked me in a public bathroom, z!", and he'd be like "i don't know what you are talking about, woman".
☆ let me finish this here or else i won't be able to stop.
author's note: this was nicer in my head, but ig it is the zayne brainrot making my thoughts all incoherent and numb. lol anyways, tell me what you think of this. send me a request • my masterpost
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ELUCIEN | FAKE DATING MODERN AU
The one where Graysen cheating on Elain makes her want to extract revenge and her best friend is conveniently available.
Rated: 18+ (cuz smut) MDNI.
(I've been writing this for months and the difference between reading the smut I've written when I'm ovulating vs. when I'm not is just...enlightening.)
"L-Lucien!"
The groan in response had Elain throwing her head back as he lifted her legs over his shoulders, sinking deeper into her dripping cunt.
"Knew the bastard had never treated you right." Lucien was growling against her ear, pounding into Elain relentlessly as she pulled his face down to kiss him.
If someone had told Elain a few days back, hell, even a few hours back that she would be having the most soul-snatching and phenomenal sex with her best friend, she'd have laughed in their faces. Now, pinned underneath him as he drew out her sixth orgasm after she had already passed out twice in between, Elain wasn't so sure anymore.
Lucien had always been perfectly mannered and gentlemanly, never crossing any lines- not a single time in the six years Elain had known him. But as he held her down, whispering lewd comments and profanities under his breath, Elain wasn't sure she knew him at all.
All she did know was that, riding his face had been one of the most life-changing experiences she'd ever had. And she'd die if she never got to experience it again.
"Lucien...Lucien, I can't I can't I can't" Elain was sobbing as Lucien took her entire breast in his mouth, pulling her nipple taut in sync with reaching between them and rubbing her clit.
"Yes, love" He told her, pulling back to stare into her eyes as he slowed his pace to hit her deeper, draw out her orgasm longer before he reached down and sealed his lips to hers "You can."
Her moans were muffled as Lucien kissed her so hard it was like he was trying to drive her into the mattress while she clenched around him so tight, it was definitely painful if Lucien's answering groan was any indication as they came together.
Dazed and spent, Elain finally had breathing room as Lucien pulled himself off her but hovered above, leisurely kissing her as her fingers ran through his long hair that had come undone over the course of the night where they hadn't stopped in...4 hours.
It had all started as some petty revenge and Elain couldn't believe how far she had gone because of it. When she'd seen Graysen parading the girl he had cheated on her with around, openly and unabashedly, it had enraged Elain to the point that she'd actually flung some cutlery around.
It was two years of wasted effort and a deep sense of embarrassment that he had moved on, but she was still stuck in the humiliating loop of the entire ordeal. So, when her sisters suggested getting back at him in a way that was both effective and satisfactory, Elain had only one person in mind for it.
Graysen had hated Lucien's guts from the moment they'd met. Elain didn't know if it was because of Lucien's visible wealth or because of his evident pure-bred grooming. Whatever the case, he was perfect for it. But Elain hadn't been sure how to convince him of it.
When she'd finally gotten around to it, Lucien had all but laughed, agreeing almost immediately. It threw her off that he would be willing to go so far for her just for the sake of getting back at her ex.
But Lucien hadn't said a word, just rolled up his sleeves revealing those delicious forearms of his with the protruding veins, sat her down on his lap, those thick thighs making it hard for Elain to properly adjust herself on either side or smoothen down her skirt. He had handed her phone to her, guiding it towards the floor length mirror and helping her perfect the angle before his fingers ghosted under her shirt and he hid his face in the crook of her neck.
Elain's hands trembled as she took the picture, letting the phone cover her face but the entire setting was too intimate for two people who were just friends. She was positively delirious from the light touch of Lucien's warm fingers on her skin, his breath against her hair and his close proximity. She had taken a few more pictures before she gasped when Lucien's mouth connected with the side of her neck. It was a split second; one she didn't even properly register but Lucien was already plucking the phone out of her hand and swiping.
"I like this one" he told her, his warm breath fanning against her cheek as he showed her the last picture.
Elain let him post it.
It was safe to say, it broke the internet. She had only meant for him to post it as a story on his Instagram, but this man had gone ahead and shared that picture with all 760K followers of his.
A picture of Elain on his lap, face hidden by her phone as Lucien kissed her neck with a hand under her shirt had more than 150K likes.
It had taken Graysen less than a day to text her, a screenshot of Lucien's post attached to the message.
This is the best friend you told me to not to worry about?
Elain didn't bother deigning him with a response. Her mission was accomplished, and she felt a lot better.
So, why in God's good name could she not stop herself from coming up with absurd reasons to keep this farce going on for longer?
For Elain, that post wasn't anything. But for the world, Lucien belonged to one of the most powerful conglomerates in the country. Sure, his controlling father was dead, and no one mourned him, and Eris gave all his younger brothers much more leeway than they had ever gotten but for Lucien to be so generous for some petty scheme on her end... it made her question her entire friendship with the enigma that was Lucien Vanserra.
It didn't help that she had always been oddly drawn to him, attractive and unbearably sexy that he was. Always immaculately dressed and groomed, charming and so so mouth-wateringly handsome.
When she brought it up with her sisters; Feyre, who had been friends with Lucien even before Elain, shrugged "Did you ever entertain the idea that maybe he likes you?"
Elain had laughed but sobered up when neither Nesta nor Feyre joined "You can't be serious?"
But they were and like the previous time, prompted her to test the theory.
It felt weird not being able to ask Lucien outright what his intentions were. She'd always been able to talk to him about these things and it felt unsettling to tiptoe around him.
When she innocently asked if he would be up for a few more pictures (that she would post this time), Lucien had shrugged and agreed without giving it a single thought.
The next few weeks were spent posting all sorts of deceptive pictures on her very public account. A hand on her thigh that was recognized as Lucien's almost instantly because of his signet ring. One of a bouquet of her favorite flowers. Another of a candlelight dinner. Of two champagne glasses. A shot of them walking around holding hands.
Very quickly, not only had she started gaining followers by the thousands, but her Instagram feed was filled with pictures of her best friend parading her around like she was his girlfriend for real. All she'd done was explain how it bothered her that Graysen was engaged to the girl he had cheated on her with, and Lucien had taken care of the rest.
Her sisters would swoon whenever a new picture dropped, and her comment sections would be flooded. Her sisters were proving their theory right and to the world, they were an ideal couple. Privately, Lucien had best friend duties as he tried to make her ex eat dirt.
But she could read between the lines. Lucien had remembered her favorite flowers when Elain had probably mentioned them in passing once. The candlelight dinner was set up on a beach near the waters which was on Elain's bucket list. He hadn't stopped holding her hand on the entire walk. Lucien had not removed his hand from her thigh after she had taken the picture, he'd just left it there like she was his real girlfriend.
And Gods, with how good he had treated her, she wanted to be.
She just didn't know what to tell him. For Lucien, she was sure he was just dutifully fulfilling his responsibilities as a long-time best friend. She didn't know how to tell him she loved acting like he was her real boyfriend.
When Vassa's party came around and Elain spotted Graysen in the crowd heading towards her, she was sure she was going to be sick. Three seconds before Graysen reached her, an arm had encircled around her waist and pushed her flush against the side of a firm body.
"Graysen" Lucien had greeted, his smile conveying all the malice he felt.
"Lucien" Graysen returned, eyes immediately dropping to his arm around Elain's waist "Long time."
"Not long enough" Lucien had responded "How's the cheek?"
Elain fought to hide her smile, turning her head and burying it into Lucien's expensive three-piece suit when she remembered that Lucien had punched Graysen on Elain's behalf when they learned of his infidelity.
"I knew you were always jealous of me; you bastard" Graysen had spat at him from his place on the floor.
"Then you would know how this turn of events delights me"
At the time, Elain had assumed Lucien was talking about finally getting to punch Graysen, something he'd been offering to do for a long time every time she complained about her douchey boyfriend. As she recalled that and compared them with recent outcomes, she wasn't sure.
Before Graysen could get another word out, Lucien was already leading Elain away. With a start, she realized it was away from the party as they ascended the stairs together.
All for a show. All for a show. All for a show. All for a show. Elain repeatedly reminded herself.
"How far are you willing to take this, Elain?" Lucien asked, an amicable expression on his face to cover up the seriousness of what he was asking.
With a sinking feeling in her stomach, Elain realized he still believed she was doing everything, all of it, to one up her ex-boyfriend. But somewhere between her request and the first picture they'd taken, lines had blurred for her.
"Till he thinks death is a sweeter alternative to watching me with another man"
"In that case..." Lucien's voice drawled as he led her down the hallway till they were shrouded in darkness, far away from the party and any illumination the full moon was providing.
His head suddenly dipping too close to hers would have had her moving away but Lucien's grip on her waist tightened "He's right there, near the staircase. Watching"
Elain's breath caught as Lucien leaned in closer, grabbing the back of her head "Put your hands on my shoulders" When Elain did that, he instructed further "One hand near my..." He trailed off when Elain grabbed his nape, rising to her tiptoes and pressing her body flush against his.
"I get it" She whispered under her breath as Lucien changed positions, pushing her against the wall and trapping her in between the concrete and his body.
With the angle, Lucien's hands roaming all over her body as Elain rhythmically tightened and loosened her hold on his neck, it was hard to tell what exactly they were doing in the dark.
"Thank you" Elain finally whispered, looking up at him through her lashes, his face mere inches from hers "For going along with this and doing all of this for me despite knowing how silly it is"
Lucien didn't say anything. He watched her in a contemplative way, his gaze darkening when Elain's tongue peeked out to swipe against her lips as she continued watching him.
"Elain" He finally said.
"Yes?"
"Stop looking at me like that unless you want to really partake in what we're pretending to do here."
Elain didn't stop looking at him.
With a tortured groan, Lucien swept down and captured her lips with his, pressing her into the wall while simultaneously lifting her face for better access. Elain moaned at the feeling of his teeth nibbling on her lips before they parted for him, and she gasped when Lucien wasted no time in plunging his tongue into her mouth.
Without breaking the kiss, he lifted her, so she was suspended in the air, legs wrapping around his trimmed waist as she met him stroke for stroke. Lucien released a deep groan in his throat when Elain bit his lip and then soothed it with her tongue.
He pulled back, resting his forehead against hers as they breathed heavily still staring at each other before Lucien pushed her against the wall again, claiming her lips once more, unable to stop his hands from exploring the expanse of her body.
Elain's hands were on his face, memorizing the smoothness of his cheeks and the curve of his jaw as she opened her mouth further for his intrusion.
When they pulled back a second time, Lucien's lips had latched onto the side of her neck, kissing the secret spot below her ear that made her dizzy and gasp against the sensation. Before Lucien's lips latched onto her again, she managed to ask.
"Is he gone?"
Lucien paused as if he had been doused with cold water and he immediately dropped her back onto her feet, pulling back and creating space that Elain was beginning to hate.
"I think so" Lucien noted the empty spot near the staircase while he simultaneously held his handkerchief out to Elain for her to wipe her lips with. She stared at the handkerchief incredulously before swatting his hand away.
"Don't give me that" She grit out, eyebrows furrowing at his closed off stance.
"He's gone so I think we're safe to go downstairs now" Lucien was saying, his face set in stone, so in contrast with how he had looked at her only moments ago.
Before he could make a move to leave, Elain was grabbing his arm and dragging him into one of the empty rooms in the hallway before slamming the door closed behind them and locking it.
She whirled at him, enraged that he still thought she was only using him "I only asked-" She grit out, advancing on him "Because I didn't want to give my cheater of an ex-boyfriend a front row seat to whatever we were doing"
"What were we doing, Elain?"
When Lucien didn't say anything else, just watched her, Elain took his hand in hers "What we did-" She paused when she realized not putting a name to it could upset him further "-Kissing you. That was of my own volition, not based on some inane need to flip the bird to my ex. I liked kissing you, Lucien. I..." She took a deep breath as she met his eyes "I like you."
When Lucien remained quiet and contemplative, with dawning horror Elain realized that maybe she was wrong, and he had only been doing everything out of the goodness of his heart. Springing this on him, oh God, she was cornering him.
She snatched her hand back from where she'd been gripping his as words tumbled out "But that's just me. I- I just wanted to tell you" She took a step back "It's probably because you've been so nice to me" Another step back "It'll go away in a while" She gave a pathetic laugh.
"Elain, where are you going?"
With a start, Elain noted the wood of the door grinding into her back. Before she could answer, however, Lucien's hand shot out and grabbed her arm before he pulled her against him once again.
"Don't think you can run away after saying all that."
"I- I wasn't...that's not what I was-"
"Say it again"
"What?"
"The part where you liked kissing me."
Elain's cheeks were tinted red as she avoided his eyes, fiddling with her fingers "I liked...kissing you."
"Why?"
"I... like you" She whispered.
"Elain, look at me."
"I can't!" She cried, the embarrassment at being so horribly wrong flooding over her.
When all attempts to get her to look at him failed, Lucien lowered himself to her height to finally look at her.
"I like you too, Elain. I like you a lot."
Elain's rising smile was smothered down by Lucien's lips on hers as he lifted her with an arm under her ass, making her squeal into his mouth as he walked them to the bed. He dropped Elain onto the mattress, watching her for a moment as she looked up at him with a flushed face and a glowing smile.
"Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?"
Elain nodded because he had. He had picked her up tonight and stood and stared when she'd opened the door wearing a tiny, red number with a modest neckline which was open at the back all the way down to her waistline. She had worn her highest heels and was still considerably shorter than Lucien, a fact she secretly loved.
As he advanced on her, Elain moved further back on the bed "Then let me tell you how you're the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on."
"You're not so bad yourself" Elain quipped teasingly before she squealed as he grabbed her ankle and dragged her back down to the edge of the bed.
"Such a fucking tease" he told her between kisses as he shed his jacket and Elain's fingers worked on untying the knot of his tie.
When she finally managed to pry his shirt open, her mouth dried at the sight of his perfectly tanned and chiseled muscles, openly gaping at his washboard abs and the v-line disappearing into his pants.
"Like what you see?" He taunted making Elain push at his shoulders till their positions had reversed. With a single tug, Elain pulled her dress up and over her body, leaving her in her red, lacy lingerie.
"Good God"
Elain had never truly known what it was like to be the recipient of a look like that till Lucien had come along. He looked like he'd been wandering in the desert for far too long and just found an oasis. She was his oasis.
"Elain..."
"Lucien, if you don't kiss me right this-"
He was already tugging her down, turning them over as he pressed his entire length against her, drawing a shudder from Elain while he kissed her. He kissed her like he was trying to imprint himself on her. He was kissing her for all the times he couldn't.
Elain gasped when she felt his knee against her clothed pussy, rubbing circles that made her feel faint. She thought she could come from that sensation alone.
"Behave, Elain" Lucien chided, almost like he knew where her mind was at, his fingers roaming the expanse of her back as he unclasped her bra, kissing a path down the valley of her breasts and finally pulling the flimsy material away with his tongue.
Elain made an attempt at modesty but Lucien never let her arms reach down to cover herself. Pinning them above her head, Lucien's jaw tightened when he took in the perfect shape of her tits, the peaking nipples.
"You drive me fucking crazy, you know that?"
She didn't and she told him so. Lucien responded with reaching down and tugging at her breast with his teeth, making her back arch "Elain Archeron.." He soothed the sting with his tongue "You are every man's biggest desire and wettest dream. Do you know how much self-restraint I've had to exercise around you all these years?"
"Here I thought you were a gentleman" Elain lightly teased.
Lucien retorted by slapping her breast making her gasp "Walking around in those tiny clothes with that body, it's like you loved testing my limits. Last Friday, I almost bent you over the kitchen table"
That was partially Elain's doing. She had been testing a theory by walking around in the tiniest night shorts she owned with a camisole that was practically see-through. Lucien had shown no visible reaction except the occasional sigh but she'd assumed it was because she had subjected him to watching romcoms with her.
"You acted like you always did" Elain pouted in sham disappointment.
"I rubbed one out in your bathroom when you went to make more popcorn" Letting her arms go and taking each of her breasts in a palm, Lucien massaged them as he lowered his face again to lick a path up to her throat "Only to come back out and see you bent over the kitchen floor trying to do God knows what"
"I spilled-" Elain gasped when Lucien settled on her breast again, taking the entirety of it in his mouth "-soda"
"I don't fucking care, Elain. All I could think of was you in that exact same position, sitting on my face"
When Elain went quiet, Lucien pulled back to check her reaction, noting one of surprise.
"Fuck" Pulling himself off her, Lucien kneeled over her "Don't tell me Graysen never went down on you?"
"H-He had a thing.." Elain shrugged, arms automatically covering herself in a state of vulnerability "I just thought it applied to how most people felt about..y'know, oral"
Lucien didn't even wanna know if Graysen had made her go down on him. Grabbing her hand, Lucien pulled Elain upright before lowering himself onto the bed and pulling her over him. It was only when he grabbed her thighs and dragged her towards his face that Elain expressed alarm.
"You don't have to do anything just to one up Graysen"
"If I was on deathrow, eating you out would be my last request. Come here"
Clamping both his arms around her thighs, Lucien firmly planted her over his face, her soaked underwear the only barrier between his tongue and the place Lucien wanted it the most.
"You're soaked, baby" Every word against her pussy was a vibration that made her see stars.
Reaching up, Lucien tore her underwear, the sting making Elain gasp and pull on his hair.
"Lucien, I don't-"
With the first swipe of his tongue, Elain forgot what she was saying.
Lucien ate her out like she really was his last meal. He licked a clean swipe from the bottom to the top before capturing her clit between his teeth and tugging. Elain thought she'd black out as she cried out for him, her body bending over his head as she grabbed onto the sheets.
"Lucien!"
"I gotchu, baby" When he hit the spot, Elain's hips bucked forward but Lucien's arms around her firmly sat her back in place.
"You're going nowhere"
And he didn't let her. Not as she rode out her first orgasm, his name a prayer on her lips. Or as her second orgasm rolled into the first one, Elain going slump against him as he licked all of the juices leaking out of her, rolling her onto her back.
Elain's entire face was red, and she didn't think she had it in her to move an inch, but her hands moved up to free Lucien's hair from the band holding it together, pulling him toward her.
"I love your hair" She confessed.
"Yeah?" Elain tasted herself on his lips as Lucien tangled his tongue with hers.
"The volume makes me envious"
Lucien laughed between kisses, unhurried as he caressed her body, rubbing lazy circles on her clit making her eyes flutter and mouth fall open. When she sighed, her eyes barely open and lips swollen, Lucien was gone.
"You're driving me fucking crazy" He groaned against her throat, trying to relieve some of the tension in his pants by grinding against the mattress.
"Let me...help" Elain whispered, hands wandering low till Lucien grabbed onto them, pinning them above her head.
"As much as the thought of that delights me..." Lucien's belt snapping open sent shivers running down her spine "I've waited six years to have you, Elain. Don't make me hold back any longer"
Elain watched him lower his pants, boxer shorts following as she took in his erect length, her mouth drying up at the sheer size and girth "Gods, I want you"
"Say that again" Lucien ripped the wrapper off the condom with his teeth as Elain watched him roll it on with hawk eyes.
"I want you, Lucien Vanserra"
With a groan punctuated with her moan, Lucien sank into her, bracing an arm against the bed to steady himself. Elain's eyes rolled to the back of her head, teeth sinking into the cushion of her lip to hold herself back from screaming.
Lucien had never exercised self-restraint like he did as he waited for Elain to adjust, holding himself back from moving. He was trying to take it easy, make love to her and not fuck her raw and dirty like animals in heat. When Elain rolled her hips and tightened against him, Lucien was positive he'd died and gone to heaven.
"Lucien..." Even her breathy voice was enough to make him finish like a pubescent teenager "Please..."
He didn't need any more invitation as he intertwined their fingers, dug all his body weight into hers, sinking into her inviting warmth to the hilt and pulling out almost completely. Elain was delirious, eyes almost closing at the sensation before they shot open when Lucien hit that sweet spot inside her. The slow and deep strokes he was going for were torture, but Lucien vowed he wouldn't treat his first time with her like a quickie.
Till Elain dug her fingers deep into his scalp and connected their foreheads, speaking right over his lips "Now is not the time to be a gentleman, Lucien. Fuck me like you mean it"
It was like she flipped a switch in him. Something about the mean look in his eyes had Elain more aroused than ever.
When he pulled out completely, Elain whined. Both at the loss of him and his body heat. But Lucien just pulled her off the bed and pinned her over the vanity table.
"I wanted to do good by you, Elain" He lifted one of her legs on the table, stretching her in a way that he would never be strong enough to resist "But you test me every time. Watch" He lifted her face to the mirror in front of them as he sank into her from behind, Elain's head falling against his shoulder "Watch how good I fuck you, baby"
When he started moving against her at a pace much rougher and faster than before, Elain felt herself falling forward but Lucien grabbed her around her mid-section holding her up as she cried out for him, his other hand rubbing circles over her clit.
"Look at yourself, Elain" Lucien urged, grabbing her jaw and holding her face up.
In the middle of her hazy, foggy mind, Elain did register her flushed cheeks, her bruised but perky breasts, the multiple hickeys around her neck and she felt good about them. Lucien felt good. Towering behind her, holding her up with those strong forearms, he looked nothing short of a sex God as sweat glistened his tanned skin that contrasted against her pale one.
She had to take a long moment between his thrusts to actually find her voice "You-" She was already going to combust "You feel so good"
Flattening his fingers on her tongue, Lucien watched as Elain wrapped her tongue around it, panting and moaning, her eyes fluttering shut as Lucien massaged her breasts in tandem.
Her eyes flew open when Lucien delivered a sharp spank on her ass, sending her hips bucking into the edge of the dresser "Eyes on me when I fuck you, Elain"
When she finally neared her orgasm, chanting his name like a prayer he'd all but driven her up the dresser, her face smushed against the mirror with Lucien panting into her hair as he repeatedly hit her sweet spot and applied pressure on her clit.
When one orgasm rolled into another, Elain didn't know. She didn't have any recollection of how Lucien got her back on the bed either, just that he felt too good, and she never wanted him to stop.
Somewhere between her ass being in the air as he pounded ruthlessly into her from behind, holding her hands captive and going slow, edging her orgasm out for hours, Elain had already passed out twice. It was brief, she hadn't even realized it had happened till she awoke to Lucien between her legs, and she never wanted to wake up any other way again.
It was only after Lucien rolled off her that Elain turned to him, automatically resting her head against his bicep. It was funny how something as simple as her perfectly slotting against his side when Graysen and she had been awkward angled whenever they cuddled could make her this happy. That Lucien made her so happy.
"Tell me you like me again" She asked him when he turned to her, pulling her on top of him.
"I like you, Elain Archeron" he said immediately, without missing a beat "And I want to be your boyfriend. Officially"
"I don't know. It's not exactly easy filling that role. It comes with a lot of responsibilities and tasks that I'm not sure you're up to" Elain shrugged in sham pity.
"Are you being coy on purpose?" Lucien twirled a lock of her hair between his fingers, something about the mundane activity so intimate.
"Just letting you know what you're signing up for"
Lucien smiled as he leaned in for a kiss and saw Elain already moving towards him too "Don't worry, love. I have prior experience in that department"
"Really? And how was the feedback?" Elain asked between kisses, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"You tell me" With that, he flipped her on her back.
____________________________________________________
#a court of frost and starlight#a court of mist and fury#a court of silver flames#a court of wings and ruin#a court of thorns and roses#elucien#lucien vanserra#elain archeron#rhysand#feysand#feyre archeron#nesta archeron#elain x lucien
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Isn't that sweet, I guess so
Part 1, Part 2
pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
summary: The secret's out, Steve's proud of himself, and you can't seem to keep your mouth shut
A/N: chat there is no way I put out 2 fic in the past week, this has never happened to me before! yay everyone cheer. again, i have no idea where this story is going how far im gonna go, i def want to try writing other stuff and idk if this is the best place to put and end to whatever this series is but again, we shall see i guess. thank you all so much on the love on my last two works you have no idea what that means to me! please please PLEASE send me asks or comment what you'd like me to write next or if you want a pt4 i need help people
warnings: sfw, swearing, fluff, idiots who like each other
Facing your fears is tough. No matter what it is, no one would actually choose putting themselves through a situation in which they know would cause them extreme distress. For some that may be going on a rollercoaster, interacting with a clown, going into a dark forrest alone, it could even be making a phone call by yourself to schedule a doctor's appointment (which is a valid fear to have, thank you very much.)
And here you were, facing your fears: being sat in your living room with Steve Harrington 3 feet away from you for an extended period of time. It's only been about 15 minutes, where no talking has happened since minute two.
You hope you can get to 30 minutes without fainting.
As you attempted to focus on the book in front of you, Jane Austen's words, who usually kept your focused for hours on end, were not being absorbed by you in the slightest. How could they, when Steve fucking Harrington was in your house.
Steve is the type of guy who Jane Austen would write about, you thought, eyes flickering towards him as he hunched over his book, face crinkled in concentration, trying to understand said author's musings.
The swoop of his hair, the two moles near his neck, his deep, beautiful, chocolate eyes, his gorgeous smile, and my god those arms? Yep, Jane would be absolutely obsessed with him.
"God, why did I agree to do this book?" You are snapped out of your daze at Steve's words. "What do you mean?", you replied. He gave you a look that can only be described as "seriously?"
"I mean, that I can barley understand what any of these characters are saying half the time, and honestly, it's a bit boring. I thought you would have better book recommendations," he said, running a hand through his hair to push it out of his face.
A scoff left your mouth before you could stop it. "Excuse me, are you actually hating on Pride and Prejudice, the best romance story of all time, the romance story, period." You leaned over and snatched his book. "I mean, come on! You are literally only 6 pages in, you can't just judge it that quickly, you haven't even gotten to the good parts yet!", you exclaim.
Steve watched you with an amused look on his face, unbeknownst to you, who kept rambling on, trying to convince Steve this book was worth continuing.
"— and Elizabeth, she is just funny, like actually hilarious. There is one part where she basically tells someone that I'd rather not be wasting my air talking to someone like you, like please, how did she even come up with that? Also, I'm just obsessed with this proper English style of speaking, or writing I guess, because they're basically talking shit but covering it up with fancy words! And when—"
"You talk a lot, don't you?"
You look up from the book and towards Steve, eyes widening slightly, realizing you had indeed been talking too much.
"One of my greatest faults, some may say, and by faults I mean my mom, but she only tells me this when we're arguing, so..." You glance away from Steve's face for a little reprieve. God, he's so hot.
"Well, like a good partner," you continue. "I'm trying to help you get some of this project done, and maybe if Robin were here, she could've helped," you defended yourself, crossing your arms, "which I'm still confused about, by the way. You said something about her telling you earlier how I invited you guys and some other people to work on the project together, but then she doesn't show?"
Steve leans back in his chair, also crossing his arms. You glance down for a quick second and send a quick thank you to anyone who's that Steve is wearing a tight shirt that beautifully enunciates his biceps. Or maybe you should be mad at them, you don't know yet.
"Maybe it's the fact that she noticed, like I did, that it's been a month since this project was assigned and we haven't even started," Steve countered, "which is unlike you, you usually want to get stuff done ASAP."
You look at him in confusion. "How the fuck do you know that?"
Steve smirks, "I also happen to know that you don't have a sister, thanks to that lovely dinner with your mom." You shake your head in disbelief, mentally making a note to yell at your mom later.
"Isn't that what you said one of the many times I asked you to work on the project?" Steve looked so amused with himself, all cocky and proud that he had uncovered your lie. Your brain tried desperately to come up with a realistic enough explanation, but nothing was coming up.
You throw your hands up in defeat. "Ok, fine! I lied! Is it just so hard for you to believe that maybe, just maybe, not everyone in that high school wants to spend time with you outside of it?" Oh my God, why the fuck would you say that, you screamed internally.
Steve stared at you for a second before letting out a chuckle. " You know, I did think of that actually, but only for a bit." He reaches out for the book and grabs it from your grasp, flipping to a random page.
"You can only run away from a guy so many times before he catches a hint," he peers over at you, " and I mean literally, you're a fast runner, did you ever do track?"
"Yeah, in middle school," you answer quickly. Steve lets out a hum of agreement before placing his attention back on the book. You open your mouth, about to quip about being careful to not rip the pages when he speaks again. "I know I'm dumb, but I'm not an idiot, ya know?"
Your gaze snaps to his face. "Steve, I don't think you're dumb." He doesn't look too convinced. "Eh, I think you do. But you're interesting, you took me a lot longer to figure out than the others since girls just typically throw themselves at me."
You make a face of disgust, "Ok, you sound like a total prick, you know."
"Yep, heard it after I said it, but that's not the point here." He point his finger at you, "You have a crush on me."
You splutter out a sound of indignation. "Hello, what?" In your head, fire alarms are sounding. It's a code red, all hell is breaking loose. "Pfft, no I absolutely do not."
Steve raises his eyebrows. "Then how else do you explain the running away when you see me anywhere at school? You always have an insane excuse why we're not able to meet up to start the project, which some are hilarious," he admits, "but you've got me complaining about not doing homework, look what you've done to me!"
At this point you've gone silent, mouth agape with an excuse stuck in your throat refusing to come out. Steve's expression has changed, his eyes bore into yours with earnest, almost as if he's anticipating a certain answer, hoping for it. "So?"
You muster all the courage you have left and just when you're about to respond, Steve interrupts you again for like, the 15th time.
"Anyways, I've to get going, have some things to do and whatever." He gets up, shrugs on his jacket and then places his books in his backpack. You get up too, having absolutely no clue how to tell him not to go, that you want him to stay. "Steve, what do you mean?"
He glances over at you, "Nothing, I just have to go. I'm a busy guy." He starts making his way to your front door, leaving you behind in the kitchen, trying to understand what the fuck just happened. First, he accuses you of having a crush on him, which you do, and then he just thinks he can leave?
Oh, absolutely not.
With a new wave of determination, you catch up to Steve just as he's finishing putting on his shoes. "Say thanks to your mom for me for dinner, it was great," he says as he grabs the door handle. You don't let him continue with whatever stupid thing he was going to say next.
"Listen Harrington, I don't know what the fuck just happened back there, but the fact you think can just, leave after dropping a bomb like that is ridiculous," you say, glaring at him in annoyance, and Steve's just staring back at you with that stupid, stupid, smirk that has not left his face since the moment he stepped foot in here.
"So what if I did like you, huh? What if I did have a crush on you? Because I do, but that, quite frankly, is none of your business, none of your concern, actually, so... yeah." Steve is looking at you and you're looking at him, a little out of breath after your declaration. You don't have the energy right now to fully process what you just said.
All of a sudden, Steve seems to break character, the smugness gone, replaced with subtle endearment. He leans down and presses a swift kiss on your cheek before whispering, "Well, it's a good thing I like you too." He straightness back up and says, "I told you I knew you were different, you're a mystery. You're lucky running away seemed to work on me, by the way. I don't think it would for everyone else," he says while you stare at him in shock. You've been rendered silent once again, with nothing but the thought that Steve likes you back, repeating over and over again.
You clear your throat before speaking, "Well! Um, yay?" You truly have no idea what to do right now. Steve chuckles at your reaction, like he can't believe his words have caused you of all people, who continuously talk and talk and talk, to not have anything profound to say for once. He's kind of into it.
Steve grabs your hand and encases it with the other. "Come over to my house tomorrow after school, I'll drive you. We can work on the project and you know, talk, if you want." You nod fervently, "Yeah, yeah ok."
He smiles and drops your hand. "I really do have to go though, I wasn't making that up," he remarks as he opens the front door. "Oh, sure, that's fine," you reply. You hold open the door for him and watch as he descends the steps and makes his way towards his car. You watch him, holding onto the door for dear life.
As Steve gets into the car, he looks over at you and waves, "I'll see you tomorrow!" You wave back and yell back, "Yeah, tomorrow!" You don't go back inside until the car is out of sight. As you shut the door, you press your back against it, trying to wrap your head around what exactly happened in the last few hours.
Holy shit, you though, Steve Harrington likes me. Steve fucking Harrington. You let out an involuntarily squeal of excitement and immediately regret doing it as your mother calls down from upstairs. "Mija, are you ok? What happened?" Hearing her voice reminds you of her involvement over the events that transpired tonight.
Putting your happiness on hold for a moment, you start to storm up the stairs. "Mom!", you yelled, "How could you embarrass me like that, asking him to stay over for dinner, you know how I feel about him, I just about fainted 5 times throughout the night, how does that make you feel!? You almost killed me an—"
You would thank your mom later, because ultimately she helped, but for now, you'll stick to this.
#what am i doing#stranger things#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington x you#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington fic#steve harrington x y/n fluff#steve harrington x fem!reader#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington x female reader#stranger things fanfic#fluff
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ATEEZ AS FRAT GUYS
Ot8 x F. Reader Content warning: Sexual language
kookinglikeachef: Was originally writing this for “The Sex Lives of College Guys” ff but I don’t think I’ll be doing it anymore because of internal doubts🥲
Hongjoong:
Obviously the fraternity president
He runs shit in and out of the frat house
Takes gender and theory studies courses
And bagged a lot of partnerships with local businesses for fundraising
He had to convince the dean many times not to expel certain members
*Cough* SanGi *cough*
He can be a bit of a snob and a little uptight
Sets strict drinking limits and instruct that the house is intact the next morning
20 minutes in and he’s convincing everyone to climb the chimney
Can usually handle his alcohol but when he gets piss drunk
He’s Debby Ryan-ing at every girl that talks to him
Seonghwa:
Alpha nerd
He only cares about his LEGOs and turning his assignments in on time
Locks himself in his room when there’s a party
Because he just got his new Star Wars set
Eventually joins halfway through
Only to judge everyones never have I ever scandals
But they won’t ever get one out of him
“Never have I ever been to a sex party”
Please he HOSTED and ORGANIZED
Laughing in his head cause not a single soul will ever know about it
Not even his members
And if you’re wondering how no one will find out?!
Well he’s got a fallback plan that proves he was at his fraternity in his room
During said day and said times
BUILDING HIS DAMN LEGOS
He’s also the one that take care of his brothers after a huge party
Probably the only reason the entire house hasn’t gone to shit tbh
Yunho:
The one with the girlfriend
They’ve been together since the second year of high school
And got into the same college
Still going four years strong
He’s majoring in computer engineering
So his servers are not the only thing that can sustain a long uptime *wink, wink*
His hobbies are taking photos of his girlfriend
Or trying any and every kink in the book with her
MULTIPLE PREGNANCY SCARES
Beer pong king
If anyone tries to hit on him he will not let them finish a sentence without making it clear he’s taken
Doesn’t mean that he dislikes getting attention from people that aren’t his girlfriend, though
Sometimes he’d flirt back
Says it’s not cheating if nothing physical happens
Definitely disregards his girlfriend’s feelings about it
He can be a jerk sometimes
Yeosang:
1stly
He don’t wanna be here
He don’t even know how he got into a frat in the first place
Yet he unexpectedly fit in well
Truthfully, he’s the one that’s attracting all the ladies to the frat house
Like roaches
The sorority girls LOVE him
And I mean they want him so bad
As a sister AND to get eaten out by him
Even though he only ever hooked up with one girl
She spread the news like jelly on bread and he’s suddenly that Pod the Rod type (game of thrones lmao)
Pretends to not understand why girls are in love with him
When his members ask him about it,
“I don’t know her” he’ll shrug
It’s always the quiet ones
San:
He’s definitely a legacy
Comes from generations of mischief
I solemnly swear that he’s up to no good
Also comes from money but doesn’t like to brag about it
He’s getting a Bachelor of Arts degree
And is a strip poker enthusiast
Never has a shirt on
He fucks every other week but not-so-secretly just wants to fuck his best friend
Bro bonding time is his favorite time
He loves to talk feelings and makes sure his members are okay
And actually enjoys the charity events
Even volunteers as the mascot
And daydreams about what it would be like to fuck his best friend in it
He and Wooyoung are infamous for their coma-inducing
“Frat punch”
The recipe is only known to them
But anyone who attends their parties are deeply warned about it
He forces people to listen to his drunk rants about how much he’s in love with his best friend of 12 years
Then blacks out under the table hugging a bottle with her picture taped to it
It’s not creepy
He’s just down bad
Still shows up early to morning lectures in blacked out sunglasses
And gets scolded by his best friend
Then he remembers when he told someone that he’s in love with his best friend
Thinks it may have been her
Mingi:
Mingki is the shy one
Or at least that’s what he wants people to believe
No guy on campus likes bringing their girl around him because
HE. WILL. TAKE. THEIR. BITCH.
And he doesn’t even mean to
But he’s ultimately sweet and will never turn down sex
He sleeps around a lot as well as sleeping through classes
Missed and failed his exams
So his grades aren’t as hot as him
Gets told a lot that if he really applied himself
He’d be a great business major
But he doesn’t really gaf
Everyone thinks he’s failing
But he passes with flying colors
Did I mention that he fucked the dean’s wife because she promised to convince her husband not to expel him?
Wooyoung:
Everyone on campus knows about this mother fucker right here
Friends with literally everybody
He majors in history
And is THE life of the party
If he’s not there it’ll be lame af
Good thing he never misses one, though
And still manages to keep up clean grades
He gets invited to other fraternity parties
Thinks he’s going to die at every party
Genuinely believes that the hash slinging slasher is out to get him
That’s just a result of the “Frat Punch”
He does not do relationships
Only has friends with benefits and brags about his favorite ones
Texts “hey big head” whenever he’s horny
And would tag them in fwb memes
He’ll still invite them to hangout with his members
Even after being balls deep in them like five minutes ago
Jongho:
Will deny being in a frat unless you show up outside his door to prove it
Only joined because he heard the rooms are bigger
He does EVERYTHING
From theater to sports to board games with elderly residents
So you know he’s pulling the theater kids and athletes and a classmates auntie
He majors in one of two subjects
Computer Science or Architecture
You see what he does to those apples and watermelons?!
Those hands are God-given
Ask the swim team
At parties, he’s in charge of the playlists
And he sneaks some Wicked in there when everyone’s too drunk to notice
He’s banned from ordering kegs because he kept ordering wine instead
Beats everyone’s ass at pool
Wooyoung likes to hustle people into placing bets on him but he’d just give the money to any charity the sorority might have
#ateez#ateez ot8#ateez x reader#ateez smut#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez headcanons#ateez fanfic#ateez hongjoong#ateez seonghwa#ateez yunho#ateez yeosang#ateez san#ateez mingi#ateez wooyoung#ateez jongho#kookinglikeachef
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Birthday Surprise
Hey there! This is my first time writing anything, and I hope it lifts your spirits after yesterday loss. Enjoy!
nico hischier x reader Theme: fluff Words: 1519
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It was January 4th, Nico's birthday, and the day hadn't gone as planned. His team had just wrapped up an away game—a tough one that they'd lost after a hard-fought battle. You could tell it had stung more than he let on, but Nico was always a pro when it came to handling disappointment. As soon as the final whistle blew, he’d put on his game face, smiling through the frustration as he exchanged handshakes with his teammates and went through the motions of the post-game routine.
You had been pacing around the apartment, trying to stay busy, but your mind kept returning to the same thought: the news you were about to share with him. It was the kind of news that could change everything. And even though you were certain he’d be happy, there was still a sense of nervous anticipation in the air.
When Nico finally walked in, looking tired but trying to shake off the loss, he was greeted by the familiar scent of dinner you had prepared for him. You'd planned to celebrate his birthday, win or lose, but tonight felt different. This moment would change the course of everything, and you couldn’t delay it any longer.
He smiled as soon as he saw you, though there was a tiredness in his eyes, a weight from the game that still hung on him. "Hey, beautiful. Happy birthday to me, huh?" he said with a slight chuckle, kicking off his shoes and walking toward you with a tired but genuine grin.
You took a deep breath, trying to keep your own composure. "Happy birthday, love," you said softly, stepping forward to hug him. His arms wrapped around you, and you could feel the familiar warmth of his embrace, a little more worn out tonight but still steady and safe.
"I’m sorry about the game," you said, pulling away to look at him. "I know it didn’t go the way you wanted."
Nico just waved it off, a little shrug. "It happens. Not every night is a win. But hey, I’ve got you here, and I’ve got my birthday dinner waiting, so I’m still good."
You smiled at his optimism, though the words you needed to say hung heavy in the air. There was no easy way to do this, but you couldn’t wait any longer.
“I’ve got something to tell you too,” you said, your voice soft but steady.
Nico’s expression shifted, his eyes softening as he took your hand. “What’s going on?” he asked, his voice full of concern. His eyes searched yours, sensing something different in the way you were holding yourself.
You took a deep breath, heart pounding as you braced yourself. “I’m pregnant, Nico.”
For a long moment, the words hung between you, and the world seemed to slow down. Nico blinked, processing what you said. Then he blinked again, as if the information hadn’t fully registered yet. His eyes searched your face for any sign of a joke, but there was none. The shock on his face was palpable, and it felt like everything in the room went silent, save for the pounding of your heart.
“Wait… really?” His voice cracked, disbelief and awe mixing together. He took a small step back, his hands still holding yours as if to confirm you hadn’t just said what he thought you did.
You nodded, a small, nervous smile pulling at the corners of your lips. “Really.”
The moment hung in the air, and then, slowly, Nico’s face broke into a smile so wide, it was like the weight of the world lifted off his shoulders. “Oh my God…” he whispered, shaking his head, still in shock but filled with happiness. "A baby... with you... Wow. This is—this is the best news I could’ve gotten today."
You laughed nervously, still a little unsure of how he’d react to such a big surprise after a loss, but his reaction melted away any lingering doubt. Nico pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly as if trying to anchor himself to the moment, like this was all too good to be real.
“I can’t believe this,” he said, his voice full of awe. “On my birthday… this is the best gift I could ever ask for.” He kissed your forehead, holding you close for a few seconds before pulling back to look at you again. “Are you sure?”
You nodded, feeling the weight of the truth settle in your chest. “I’m sure. And I wanted to tell you tonight, because… this is our next chapter, Nico.”
“I don’t even know what to say,” he murmured, still looking at you like he couldn’t quite believe it. “I’m going to be a dad. This is crazy, but it’s also the best thing I’ve ever heard.”
You smiled, feeling the warmth of his love and excitement. "I’m glad it’s with you. I’m glad we’re in this together."
“Together,” he repeated, his voice full of conviction. "I’m all in. Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out. We’ve got this."
———————————————
Later that evening, after you had both settled into the quiet rhythm of getting ready for bed, the apartment felt different. The excitement from earlier still lingered, but now there was a soft, peaceful energy in the air as Nico moved around the bathroom, brushing his teeth and changing into his pajamas .You were washing your face, your reflection a little softer in the dim light of the bathroom, the coolness of the tiles grounding you in the reality of everything that had just shifted in your life.
You may had expected a bit more of a reaction from Nico when you first told him—maybe more enthusiasm, more immediate questions—but what he gave you had been genuine. Still, you could tell he had been processing the news, especially after such an intense loss earlier in the day.
As you reached for the towel to dry your face, you felt his presence behind you. His reflection appeared in the mirror, and you could see the way he was looking at you—his brow slightly furrowed, his lips pressed together like he was mulling over something important.
“Hey,” Nico’s voice was soft, his tone hesitant.
You turned to face him, wiping away the last of the water from your cheeks. “Yeah?”
“I just…” He paused, his hands resting on the counter, leaning in slightly. "I know I might not have reacted the way you wanted at first. I—I don’t know. I guess I was just caught off guard. But I want you to know that I’m excited. So excited, actually. I can’t wait to see you pregnant, to have a baby with you."
His eyes met yours in the mirror, searching for any sign of how you were feeling. He looked vulnerable in that moment, as if he needed your reassurance. His voice softened, just above a whisper, “I’m sorry if it didn’t come out the way you expected, but it’s the truth. I’m just—honestly, I’m a little overwhelmed, but in the best way.”
You set the towel down, turning around to face him completely now, feeling the sincerity in his words. You reached out, placing a hand on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart under your palm. "Nico," you said, your voice tender, "your reaction was perfect. I’m not looking for some grand speech or anything—just you being here, just being honest, that’s all I need."
He let out a breath of relief, his hands gently cupping your face, his thumbs brushing over your cheeks. "I’m really glad you feel that way," he murmured. "Because this is real. This is happening. And I want to be there for you every step of the way. I can’t wait to do this with you."
You smiled, warmth blooming in your chest as you leaned into his touch. "We’re going to be great parents, Nico. We’ll figure it out together. And I know you’re going to be an amazing dad."
Nico’s eyes softened, and he kissed your forehead, lingering there for a moment. “We’re in this together,” he said quietly. “And I wouldn’t want it with anyone else but you.”
The weight of his words settled over you like a protective blanket, and for the first time that night, you felt completely at peace. The loss, the surprise, everything that had felt uncertain earlier—it all faded away in that moment. It was just the two of you, standing together in the bathroom, ready to step into this new chapter, hand in hand.
"I love you," you whispered, looking up at him, feeling his embrace as your anchor.
"I love you too," he responded, his voice full of the quiet certainty that had always defined him. "And I can’t wait to start this journey with you."
As you both turned off the lights and climbed into bed, the weight of the world felt lighter, replaced by the promise of something so much bigger. The future was no longer just a series of unanswered questions. It was a path the two of you would walk together.
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Hii, I hope you had a very happy holiday and that you are well, I love the way you write! I would like to ask you for something half anguish half soft and whatever you want to add some other thing even if it is spicy.. Something where both the reader and Katsuki are both pro-heroes, The reader tries to take good care of himself during missions and avoids getting hurt so that Katsuki doesn't worry (go crazy about it) But Katsuki doesn't do the same and almost always ends up hurt and worrying the reader and this makes her upset by his lack of reciprocity.. They end up fighting for a moment but end up reconciling. I hope it's not too much to ask, bye, kisses🙏
hi hun!! hope you had a very happy holiday too<333 that means SO much to me, thank you lots!! its not too much at all, i hope this met your expectations and i hope you enjoy it. byeee, kisses <333 (disclaimers: handjob in a hospital, nipple play, mentions of breeding kink, calls you mommy, switch katsuki (gets really subby in the end))
katsuki was on his bed in the infirmary, covered in bandages and scratches. he had gotten himself injured again during a battle with a villain.
you walked into the room, face filled with anger and concern. you quickly made your way towards his bed and looked at him, obviously frustrated.
"my fucking god, katsuki.."
katsuki looked at you with a mixture of annoyance and guilt. he knew he had upset you by getting injured again this badly but that didn't matter to him.
"what? i'm fine."
you tried to blink back your tears as they threatened to escape, lips curled into a stubborn frown. "you look anything but fine."
katsuki rolled his eyes, still trying to act nonchalant about his injuries. "i've had worse. you know that. i'll heal up in no time."
he huffed slightly as he attempted to shift his position on the bed, causing a small wave of pain to shoot through him, but too stubborn to show you his signs of pain.
"we have the same damn job," you snapped, holding his arm and helping him up. your eyes narrowed, words filled with irritation and worry. but you don't see me acting like a reckless idiot, do you? i may get a few scrapes and bruises, but i don't look like I've just stumbled out of a warzone."
"i'm not acting reckless. 'm just doing my damn job," katsuki grumbled as he grudgingly allowed you to help him. "and besides, you're always avoiding getting hurt. you never take any risks, so it's no fuckin' surprise you don't get hurt."
you widened your eyes at him in disbelief, shaking your head in frustration. "no risk?"
"yeah, no risk. you always play it safe, you never take any chances, you always avoid fighting any shitty villains that might be too damn dangerous..." katsuki trails off, noticing the look on your face and realizing that he might've struck a nerve.
"playing it safe? is that what you assume i do to prioritize my fucking life?" you let out a scoff of disbelief, lips twisting up in a sarcastic smile. "is that what you think I do when I try to protect myself, so that you don't have to add my name to your growing list of worries?"
katsuki's expression softened slightly. he knew deep down that she was right, but he wasn't ready to admit it.
"it's not about that. it's about getting the job done. sometimes that means taking risks."
"excuse you. i get the job done just fine. at least i don't look like i've been trampled on by a hundred fucking bulls."
"yeah, well, at least i'm not afraid to get my hands dirty."
katsuki knew that was a low blow even as he said it, but his pride was too wounded to backtrack now.
your emotions finally breaking through the facade of toughness as you bit your bottom lip, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill.
"damn it, katsuki," your voice cracked slightly. "all i'm asking is to keep yourself safe. do you even realize how much it hurts me, seeing you injured over and over again, knowing i can't do anything about it? its like.. you don't care. then you go ahead and insult how i do my job and..."
kasuki's expression softened further as he saw the tears in your eyes. he knew he messed up.
"sweets, i... i didn't mean what i said. you're great, okay? the damn best. i just.. wanna do my damn job. i don't want to hold back and let someone get away with shit because i was being too careful."
you let out a huff of frustration, rubbing your eyes with the back of your hand.
"doing your job properly doesn't mean throwing your life away, katsuki. what if something happens again, and.."
your pause as tears welled up your eyes, finally rolling down your cheeks like a waterfall. you tried to wipe them away, movements aggressive as your sniffles growing louder despite the attempts to keep them silent.
katsuki watched as you wiped away your tears, guilt gnawing at him. it was a sight that never failed to clench his heart. he reached out and gently gripped your arm, pulling you closer by the edge of the bed. "hey, c'mon. don't... cry, dammit."
"i'll be fine, i always do," he continued, his voice softer than usual. he crooks his finger to tilt your head up at his gaze. "even if i look like i got trampled on by a hundred fuckin' bulls."
he repeated your words back to you with a small grin. you huffed when you realized he was trying to lighten the mood, giving his arm a gentle nudge as you pouted at him.
"i... i can't lose you. not again, katsuki," you sniffled, lower lip trembling slightly as you kept your emotions in check. "okay?"
katsuki's smirk faded as he heard the raw vulnerability in your voice, the memories flooding his brain back when he almost lost his...
"sweets... i'm not going anywhere, okay?" he repeated, his voice serious now. "i promise." he pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you in a tight embrace.
you huff, calming down in his arms a little as you appreciate the warmth of his embrace and the sound of his steady breathing.
meanwhile, katsuki held you close, feeling your body relax against his. with a sigh, he buries his face in your hair, taking solace in the feeling of your in his arms. he hated seeing you upset, and he hated himself for being the cause of it.
"i'm sorry."
"hmph. you better be."
you sigh as katsuki chuckled slightly, the feeling of your fingers in his hair sending a shiver down his spine.
"i am. i won't be so reckless next time. i'll be more careful, i promise."
"if you don't?"
"if i don't? what, you'll come kick my ass yourself?"
"katsuki."
katsuki takes a deep breath before letting out a long sigh, looking up and his gaze fixed on you.
"if i don't..." he begins, tucking a strand of hair behind your hair. "i just won't. i don't want to put you through that again. i'll keep my word. for you, sweets. okay?"
you nod, your pout giving way to a more relaxed expression as you sank deeper into his embrace. you were a little more relaxed now that he gave you the reassurance you needed. he just needed to recover, and then—
you suddenly felt a slight shiver run through your body as you register the feeling of katsuki's lips on your neck.
katsuki grins when he noticed your slight surprise, continuing to place soft kisses along your neck, pausing occasionally to nibble on your earlobe.
"you worry too much, you know that?" he whispered in between kisses.
"only because i care about you..." you breathe, your voice a little breathless as you leaned into his touch. you really, really couldn't hide the effect his touch had on you.
katsuki's smirk returned as he heard you gasp, the sound sending a wave of heat through his body. he moved his mouth to your jawline, trailing kisses along your skin.
"i know you care about me," he murmured, his breath warm against her skin. "and as much as i love seein' you get all feisty when you're worried about me... i promise i'll be more careful from now on."
"okay...good," you hum softly as he continued peppering kisses down your body. "glad we.. cleared that up."
katsuki chuckles, his lips still against your neck, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine. "yeah, we did."
you had to bite your bottom lip when he moved his lips, nipping at your collarbone. "and now that we have that settled..."
"there's somethin' else i'd like to do."
your eyes widened in surprise as you realized what he was hinting at, heat spreading across your cheeks. "w-wait—"
katsuki grinned again when he noticed how bashful you were getting. he loved it when he could get you all flustered like this.
"what?" his lips hovering near your ear. "you don't want to?"
you shook your head, your desire warred with concern. there was a part of you that wanted to give in to the moment, but practical senses prevailed. he was still recovering from his injuries, and you weren't about to risk his health for an orgasm.
"i..." you began, voice shaky with a mixture of desire and reluctance. "yes, i want to... but not here. and not while you're still recovering, dammit."
katsuki pouted slightly, clearly disappointed. but as much as he hated to admit it, he knew you were right.
"tch, fine. but don't blame me if i start goin' crazy from recovery boredom."
he paused, a sly smirk appearing on his face. "although... i could think of a few ways you could keep me entertained while i recover."
you tilt your head with a raised eyebrow. "like?"
"well... you could start by just cuddlin' with me while i rest," he teased, his voice low and suggestive, tugging you closer to the bed so that you could cuddle him. "or maybe you could give me a few kisses here and there... you know, to help me heal faster."
"oh?" you smile, scooting over the bed and snuggling up to him. "did the doctor approve of that?"
"doctors are overrated," he says in mock-offense as he wraps an arm around you. "they all say the same things. rest and fluids, blah, blah, blah. where's the fun in that?"
"besides..." he leaned in closer with a grin, his voice dropping to a whisper. "who needs a doctor's approval when i have a beautiful woman like you to take care of me?"
you scoff, nudging his arm softly and roll your eyes, running your fingers through his hair. "as much as i'd love to take care of you, i'm scared we might get caught."
"what, afraid of getting caught in the act?" he asked with a mischievous grin. "come on, it'll be fun."
he could tell you were still reluctant. so, he pulled you even closer, his hands roaming up your hips and resting on your waist, his lips brushing your ear when he spoke. "we'll be discreet, i promise. just a few kisses... no one will ever know."
"i'd rather if you just focus on recovering."
"a few kisses ain't gonna set me back. i'm fine, sweets. i heal fast, remember?"
"then, if you heal fast, i doubt you need me to kiss you, right?"
"you think i can't handle a few kisses, is that it?"
you grin at his pout and shrug. "i think you can't. because then you're going to take it too far."
katsuki rolled his eyes, mock-offended. "i have no idea what you're talkin' about. i'm a saint."
he leaned back against the pillows, narrowing his eyes at your reluctant gaze and giggles. "besides, i'm in no condition to do anything strenuous right now. a few innocent kisses won't hurt."
you huff, exhaling in a soft sigh as your pout deepens. your eyes flicker to his, searching for any kind of reassurance. you didn't want to set back his recovery by going too far but who were you to deny him the kisses he needs? "you promise?"
"a few innocent kisses, that's it. no funny business, no getting carried away," he paused, reaching out to take your hand, his thumb tracing circles on the back of her hand. "just a few little kisses to keep me entertained while i recover."
after a moment, you gave in with a sigh, nodding in reluctant agreement.
"fine..." you muttered, your tone a little sulky.
but your gaze flickered to him, your narrowed eyes meeting his with a hint of heat. slowly, you lean in closer, your breath catching in your throat as you prepare to initiate the kiss.
katsuki grins as he tilted his head slightly to meet you halfway, his eyes closing in anticipation.
"that's more like it," he murmured, his voice low and sultry.
katsuki reached up to gently cup your cheek, his thumb tracing soft circles along your skin as he closed the distance between your lips.
the moment your lips met his, he let out a soft sigh, wrapping his arms around you as he deepened the kiss. it was slow and gentle, a stark contrast to the usual.. passionate embraces.
but the kiss deepens and katsuki starts to get lost in the moment, you can feel him getting more aggressive and intense. sensing that he's starting to lose control, you give his bicep a gentle but firm squeeze, signaling him to slow down. it acts like an anchor, reminding him to keep his desire in check.
katsuki feels your squeeze on his bicep and realizes that he's getting carried away. he breaks the kiss, panting for air as he tries to regain control of himself.
he looks at you with dilated eyes, his chest rising and falling heavily. "f-fuck.. 'm sorry.. i got carried away..."
you chuckle breathlessly, your own heart racing. you try to reassure him with a soft, affectionate smile on your lips. "it's okay... i liked it."
"damn it. me too. maybe a little too much," he sighs, glancing down at himself and groans at the tent in his pants. "fuck, you're not making this easy. you know how hard it is for an injured pro-hero like me to resist his gorgeous girl? and i'm supposed to be recovering, remember?"
"oh? who insisted on the kisses, smartass?"
"hey, you're the one who agreed to it."
"weirdo," you tease, poking his side gently. "want me to..?"
katsuki's breathing hitches at you looking down at his lap. he knew he should resist. he needed to recover. but the sight of you, looking at his raging boner, and imagining what you'd look like taking care of it, is almost too much for him to handle.
"don't tease me like that, woman. you know what the answer is."
you glance down to admire the obvious tent in his pants, the evidence of his desires clear as day. you can't help but bite your bottom lip, feeling a sudden rush of heat as something aches in between your legs.
"okay," you whisper, reaching down for the waistband of his pants. "just keep quiet f'me, okay?"
katsuki nods, his eyes locked on you as you reach for underneath his boxers. he feels his breath catch in his throat, his body tensing in anticipation.
"yeah.." he breathes, his voice strained. "i'll be quiet..."
katsuki watches as you touch him, his eyes darkened with desire as he feels your hand wrap around his cock, his body already responding to your touch.
"fuck... fuck, you're so hot.." he manages to say, his voice hoarse and gravelly.
you laugh softly, looking up at him, thumbing the tip of his cock thats leaking with pre. "yeah? you think i'm hot, katsuki?"
"mhm.. so hot.." he nods, his breath coming in ragged pants. he closes his eyes, his head falling back against the pillows as he sinks further into the bed. "f-fuck.. feels so good.. keep goin', sweets, fuck.."
katsuki's hips instinctively buck up into your touch, trying to get even more friction. he grips the sheets, his knuckles turning white as he struggles to keep himself quiet.
you chuckle breathlessly, biting down your bottom lip as you slowly fuck your fist on his cock, purposefully slowing down. "you're not keeping quiet, katsuki. what if someone hears us, hm?"
"fuck, you can't do that to me.. don't tease me like that.." he lets out a strangled moan, unable to hide how needy he is for you. he bites down on his lip, trying to muffle his noise. "i'm tryna be fuckin' quiet, i swear.. but it's gettin' really fuckin' hard.. just keep going.."
you smile, a small, sassy grin that dances across your lips. yu shake your head lightly, titling it to one side as you wrap your fist tighter around his cock. "do you need my help to shut you up, hm?"
katsuki nods, his face flushed and his eyes pleading. "yeah. please.. please, i can't keep quiet on my own. i need you.. i need you to shut me up with your tits..."
you stop stroking him a little to shift positions, maneuvering yourself so that he is lying on your lap and his face on your chest. his head rests on your thighs, and you can feel the warmth of his body against yours as you reach out again to stroke him.
"so needy, sweetheart," you tease in a soft murmur, your fingers tantalizing on his cock as you look down at him.
"hmph," he huffs as his hand slips under your shirt, tugging it up quickly before his fingers warm against your skin as they brush against your stomach. it's not like he could tell you that you were wrong.
katsuki tugs gently on your bra, his intentions clear as his eyes lock onto yours. he doesn't break eye contact with you as he pulls your bra down, your tits spilling from the fabric, hard nipples already meeting the cold air and his hot breath.
it doesn't take long before katsuki's mouth immediately latches onto your nipple, moaning softly against the skin as his tongue swirls around your areola.
"you taste so good," he groaned, his other hand touches your neglected breast, rough and insistent as they knead and massage the doughy mound, pinching your nipple. "fuck, sweets.. wanna make you a mommy. get these gorgeous tits swollen with milk..."
"yeah?" a small, sheepish smile plays on your lips as you try to find your words. but it's hard to think clearly, hard to even form a sentence when he's getting handsy with your tits, feeling your cunny clenching with need. "you wanna make me a mommy, sweetheart?"
"yeah," he breathes, his cock twitching with precum as you stroke him. "i wanna put a baby in you. wanna fill you up and get you all nice and pregnant for me. you want that, right?"
your cheeks heat up as he gets more aggressive with your tits, his hands continuing to caress you. "yeah, maybe. so?"
"yeah? you'd like it if i knocked you up, mommy?"
you let out a soft moan, your body arching involuntarily as you try to process the pet-name. whenever he got subby, which was rarely, it always caught you off-guard. you wanted to deny how much it affected you as he caresses you, nibbling on your nipples like a man possessed.
"katsuki... i thought i told you to keep quiet.."
you clicked your tongue at him, your hand moving up and down his cock faster, purposely toying with him. he whines at the change of pace, his head dropping back against your plush thighs before he presses his face against your chest to muffle his moans.
"fuck... i'm sorry, mommy, i'm sorry," katsuki whimpers against your nipples, his tone almost whining and pleading as he looks up at you. "i'll keep quiet, i promise..."
"it's a shame, really," you murmur. "with how loud you are, now i'm thinking if i should even let you cum."
"no, no. need to cum, i'll be so quiet, i promise," katsuki gasps out, sucking your tits sore in between his pleas as he humps your fist.
"don't stop.. i'll be a good boy, just let me cum, mommy-"
"yeah? you think you deserve to after what you did?"
"im sorry alreadyyy," he moans, his voice cracking as he begs. it's hard to believe he's a tough, powerful pro-hero known for how aggressive he is. all brought down to a whimpering, whiny looking mess for you. "fuck, fuck, i'll do whatever you want... just please let me cum. please, mommy.."
katsuki looked like a little boy who wanted his favorite toy as he fondles your tits. he's desperate, he's needy, he's your whining, jacked boyfriend who just wants to cum.
and who were you to deny him what he wants?
"it's okay, baby," your voice is a sultry purr as you look down at him. "since you've been begging real good f'me, you can cum.."
katsuki's eyes flutter shut at your approval, a soft, guttural moan leaving his lips. he's close, so close that it's almost painful, and he's clinging to you like a lifeline. "shit.. sh-shit, thank you, m-mommy... fuck, 'm gonna fuckin' cum, shit-"
he bucks his hips into your hips one last time before trembling beneath your touch, shaking as his cum shoots down your fists, his cock twitching from the release.
you grin as you pump your fist on his cock, helping him ride out his high. your fingers linger on him for awhile before you pull away, licking your fingers off of his slick.
but someone still needed you. katsuki sat up and pulled you closer and he grabs your face in his hands, his lips crashing into yours in a fierce, desperate kiss. he kisses you like he needs you more than air, like he'll die without your touch. he doesn't even care if he's being needy. he just wants you, and only you.
he breaks the kiss for a moment, panting for air as he presses his forehead against yours. "fuck," he mutters against your lips, his voice rough and ragged. "that was... shit, i don't know what to say." he chuckles breathlessly.
"well..." you start with a cheeky grin, your fingers running through his hair. "you could start by saying thank you."
he huffs out a laugh, a tired smile spreading across his face. he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, inhaling the scent of your shampoo that he just loves. "thank you, baby. you're perfect, you know that? so goddamn perfect."
you bask in the moment, smiling warmly as you revel in the comfort of the cuddle. his warm, firm body against yours feels like home, and you feel content and complete in his arms.
in that moment, you feel completely content and at peace, as if nothing else in the world matters besides the two of you. you press yourself against him, a silent reassurance that he's here, he's real, and he's all yours.
#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugo katsuki#bnha bakugou#katsuki bakugo mha#bakugou katsuki x reader#mha bakugo katsuki#mha bakugou#bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugo#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugou#bakugo#bakugo angst#mha#bnha katsuki#bnha#bakugo katsuki x reader#bakugo x reader#bakugou katsuki smut#mha angst#bnha angst#bakugou imagine#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki x reader#bnha x reader#mha bakugo x reader#bakugo fluff#bakugou fluff#katsuki fluff#katsuki bakugo imagine
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Happiness [26]
chapter title: Burial Plot
a/n: i literally got the fucking writing worms the last few days. i have been non-stop. missus deserves everything because i say so and i love her. (i love you) 4.7k words
warnings: missus’s trauma and her reactions because of it. UNEDITED.
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It’s been at least two days, you were certain of that. There was a tiny window near the ceiling, shining light from dawn to dusk - the only light you were allowed while you sat in the cold basement, holding and taking care of a sick Mellie. You only slept for a few hours, wanting to listen and learn your captor’s patterns, which was what Simon always said to do.
One had heavy footsteps and didn’t do much, only went outside to piss and to smoke. Two liked to pace, he had lighter footsteps, he talked on the phone for at least twenty minutes every hour. Lloyd had loud footsteps, he was constantly talking to his henchmen or on the phone, the only time he wasn’t upstairs was when he came down to make sure you were still stuck with a miserable baby. Anger festered in your chest when you saw him, always bleeding through to the rest of your body.
The only route of escape you had was up the stairs and through the locked door. Then, you had no idea where to go from there.
Would it be better to follow the drive they take up to wherever you are? No, they could easily get in a car and grab you again. If there’s woods, you need to go into the woods.
You wiped at your face after you washed your hands in the sink of the tiny bathroom, it was nestled in the corner of the basement. It was getting darker in the basement, you had already changed Mellie again and tried to feed her but she refused. You were grateful that you were given more diapers than which you started, even if Lloyd handed them to you himself. You were more than desperate to hit him in the face, but you can’t bite the hand that feeds you. You gazed at yourself in the mirror, recognizing your face but not your eyes - fear had made its home there, terror a weight that has drowned many and you weren’t sure you were safe from that fate.
Footsteps above you again, it sounded like Lloyd. You moved out of the bathroom, the concrete beneath your feet was freezing to the touch but you barely acknowledged it, your eyes gazed upon the broken bookshelf beside the staircase. There was only two shelves, one broken and left inside of it. You’ve been looking at it during the day, thinking it may be loose enough to break free and be a weapon.
Creak, creak… click.
The sound of the lock on the basement door made you panic, you darted to your bed to pick up the sleeping Mellie - she barely stirred as you sat on the bed, holding her to your chest and watching your only exit. Your stomach knotted with anticipation, knowing Lloyd would be coming down to “chat” - to pry information about Simon out of you with a cigarette stained smile. Your hands shook, you were desperately gripping Mellie’s little onesie to try and stop it as Lloyd walked down the steps, his wickedly cruel painted on his face.
“Hello, sweethear’.”
A hand on your face made your eyes rip open, the roar in your throat grew louder and your weak arms instantly went to throw the touch off.
“Sweetheart, it’s me, it’s-“
Your push was met with a grunt, “Get off me!”
You threw more of a struggle, you could hear thundering footsteps and you pushed harder. Fight, push him off, keep Lloyd away, away, away-
“Get her on her side-“
“I’m bloody tryin’, Price, she’s not exactly workin’ with me-“
A large hand pushed your hip down, your stomach pressed into the mattress and the same hand on your face cupped your cheek. Paralysing fear pulsed in your chest, your hands were wrenched behind your back. “Get off!” You tried to throw your elbows back, kick your legs, but another pair of hands held your legs down. “Let me go! Let me go!”
“Darling, wake up, it’s me.”
All you could feel were burning hands, disgusting sweat against your face that were merely phantoms compared to this, but it was still terrifying. Your eyes screwed shut as if to hide from your attackers. This wasn’t something you could come back from, they’d tear your limb from limb and pluck the meat from your bones like the starved coyotes they were. Always staring, always wanting to poke, prod, and gnaw on any sliver of skin. “Please-“
Lloyd will kill you. He tried so hard, he’s trying again, he’ll do more than almost slit your throat in half, he’ll stab you, he’ll shoot you, he’ll-
“Watch it, Simon-“
Ice cold water splashed against your face and your eyes shot open, head twisted at an uncomfortable angle and all you could see was Gaz, kneeling beside your bed with a half empty glass of water in his hand. Pressure came from your back, your face, your legs, and you couldn’t move your head to look.
He leaned back on his legs, the sigh that escaped him sounded relieving. “She’s awake now.”
“Kyle?” The hands on your legs disappeared, the pressure on your back slid away, the hand on your cheek went from rough to soothing - it curled around your hairline and brushed the sweaty hairs back. You tilted your head a little to look back, a glimpse of blond hair entered your view. “Simon?”
“Right here.” So he’s the hand on your hair.
The water settled into the sheets before your face, the muscles in your body began to constrict and become almost brittle. The fight in your chest and mind was now long gone, a fleeting exposure to the normal fight or flight response. Fear nestled so deeply in your brain that it bled like a river when you were locked in that basement and nearly tortured. Muscles stunned into paralysis, tears flooded the plains of your cheeks. The nightmares kept getting more vivid, even worse each time, and you weren’t scared by the task force holding you down. Simon’s earned a myriad of scratches, you’ve punched Soap in your sleep, even cut Price’s face with your nails. Gaz was wise enough to be the one to wake you up, after many days of Simon doing it and you screamed so loud every time that the girls were terrified. Ice water was your idea, constraint was your husband’s - you didn’t blame him, the shock of the water would freak you out and you already feel horrible for the damage you’ve caused the family.
You’re already well aware of the exhaustion you bring too. Simon can’t leave you home alone anymore, the rest of the 141 sleep in the empty rooms in the basement just in case your husband needs help with you. Walking was difficult, eating hurt, your lungs out of breath at every turn, even thinking made you ache. He had to be nearly full-time care while he split his time up to take care of the girls, but his friends had stepped up there. It’s temporary, you kept telling yourself. You’d pay them back tenfold someday.
“Jesus, she got you good, man.”
“S’alright.” His gentle hand fled to your shoulder blades, shapes softly rubbed into them. “You alright, sweetheart?”
The sob escaped your lips before you knew it resided there, your eyes screwed shut as tears escaped. You couldn’t roll over to unpin your arm from your chest, your lungs couldn’t rise, and all you could see in your head was that room with the mold, the dirty sink, the bloody quilt, and the box you kept Mellie hidden in. Simon’s gentle rubs on your back did little to help, but it was something nonetheless. Nimble fingers tugged your hair from your face and curled it around your ear, soft words left his mouth as the sound of the bedroom door as it closed made you wince.
“It’s alright, love, you’re home.”
•••
He’s still breathing after you check for the hundredth time. A finger beneath Simon’s nose, his eyelashes fluttered as he dreamt peacefully. He’s tired, you can see it in the way he’s grown sluggish the past few days. Your fingertips ghosted over the bruise on his cheek from where you hit him in your sleep, believing he was your kidnapper and attacker then trying to fight him off. His left hand was settled on his chest, his right arm nestled around you unconsciously. Peace was only afforded at night when you were awake and watching him, crying under the moonlight when you look at all the scratches and bruises you leave on his body. He never deserved this kind of cruelty; it was one you had vowed to protect him from. Yet, the same could be said about him to you.
Your cold hand cradled his jaw, your head finally rested against the pillow again. It’d taken so much of your energy to stay awake, to try and fight the nightmares off, but as you watched your husband sleep, you wondered if you could too.
Except, your bedroom door creaked open and your head snapped to look at it. The shadowy figure held the handle with one hand, the other arm held a shadowy lump. Your hackles relaxed, knowing just how tall your daughter was and you reached an arm down the side of your bed.
“Daddy?”
“It’s just me awake, baby. Come here.”
Winnie shuffled herself into your room, you could recognize the silhouette of her favorite teddy under her arm as she took your hand. You could barely make out her face, but the moonlight reflected off of her tears. Instantly turning on your side, your hand brushed them away.
“What’s wrong? Did you have a bad dream?”
“You were yelling earlier.”
Your answer was immediate. “I just had a bad dream, Daddy took care of me.” An absent movement of your hand curled a lock of her hair around her ear. “I’m alright.”
She sniffled a little, her hand squeezed yours with urgency. “I had a bad dream too.”
Your heart sank, guilt began to gnaw again at your nearly empty insides. Soon it would have nothing left to digest. “C’mon, baby girl, lay up here with me.” You picked Winnie up with what strength you had left and pulled her into bed, nestled on your side. Simon needed his sleep, you decided, so you could handle this. Not that you have been lately, but you still could. Laying around and doing nothing for your children felt painful.
Winnie was quick to dig under the comforter and you nearly tucked her underneath it, and moved more towards Simon so she could have more space. Her hands gripped your loose shirt, her little face nestled on your shoulder and her bear uncomfortably shoved into your side.
“Did you wanna talk about it?”
“I don’t know… It was scary.”
You leaned down and kissed her forehead, “I’m sorry, baby. Was there a monster or was there-“
Her little hand reached up and touched your face, the numbness in your skin dissipated. “You were gone again, Mama, and-and I got really scared.” You met her eyes in the dim light, your hand brushed her tears away. Even now, you could see the true fear on your baby’s face.
“I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere ever again.”
A little cry came from her lips, “I thought you-you were gonna be like Mum Gr-Grace.”
The implosion of your heart in your stomach sounded like a thousand trains roaring right beside you, it made you nauseous. “No. No, baby, I’m not dying anytime soon. It seemed like it though, huh?”
A little nod.
“And I’m so sorry that it happened. Daddy did everything he could to keep us safe, but sometimes the bad guys are too sneaky. That’s how he got me and Mellie.”
“Uncle Koko got hurt.”
It wasn’t a good moment when König had come to see you in the hospital, his loud limp and hard time bending over. He had been shot three times in taking down a majority of the intruders and narrowly escaped death to try and protect you, which had failed. You had cried and apologized over and over, Simon squeezed your hand and the Colonel left swiftly. You cried for hours after that, sick to your stomach that he could have died for you - and it could have been in vain.
“I know. But he’s gonna be okay, just like me. I’m going to the therapist for help, you remember what a therapist is, right?”
“Yeah, they’re-they’re a doctor for your feelings.”
“Good job, duckling. And I’m getting better every day, even though I have those scary dreams too.” You took her chin in your grasp, “Winnie, I will be okay. It will take time, but I will be okay soon. Healing takes its time.”
“But… But what if Daddy gets taken too? What… What happens if Daddy can’t protect us anymore?”
“Well,” Your hand cradled her cheek as you rested your head against hers. “We have Uncle John, Soap, and Kyle. And if they can’t protect us anymore, I will. I protected your sister the same way I would protect you.”
“Then who protects you?”
“I will. Sometimes you don’t need anyone to protect you, but it’s nice to have it. It’s nice to know Daddy does everything he can.”
“But he…” Failed. Betrayed you. Left you to die.
“It was not Daddy’s fault, do you hear me? Get that out of your head. If he knew, it wouldn’t have happened.” You placed a kiss on her head. “You don’t need to think about that right now, Win. Your dream was just a dream, I’m home with you and Mellie and Daddy now. We can talk more about it in the morning, alright?”
Your daughter sniffled a little before she pulled her bear from between you, and tucked him into her elbow. “Promise?”
Your eyes fluttered shut, your nose nestled in her curls. “I promise. Go to sleep, Daddy and I’ll protect you.” Winnie nodded a little before she moved to kiss your hand.
Sleep didn’t evade you then, your dreams were fleeting and unmemorable.
•••
Almost every surface in your house is covered in flowers. Wives of soldiers who served under your husband sent them, Hell, even a few of the nice crystal vases came from König’s wife, Karo, with a beautiful handwritten note expressing her relief in your return and dismissal of your guilt. My husband does everything for his friends and their families, you are and will be no exception. The card is kept on the side of the fridge with a magnet from London.
Speaking of plants, you have three extra houseplants that come and go at all hours of the day. You were grateful for the basement, you didn’t have to displace your children so the 141 could operate out of your home. Instead, they worked out of your way; always checking in on you and your daughters, which were often met with a wave and a simple “I’m fine.” You were sure Price hasn’t seen the inside of his own house since this whole ordeal started. There was never a moment where you were alone, at least two of the task force stayed home with you. Simon hadn’t been alone in days, you’re sure of it. Taking you to and from base for the military funded therapy they so graciously provided you, you suspected he had pulled many strings to get you in somewhere as quickly as possible. It’s a toll on him, he liked to be alone sometimes and there was nowhere he could hide - not that he wanted to, it seemed. He always had to be near you, touch you, something to make sure his presence was known.
You knew it well. It wasn’t hard to miss Simon’s lurking if you tried, nor was it easy to ignore his tired and injured face. Winnie found it entertaining to decorate his scratches and bruises with her Hello Kitty bandaids and kisses pressed to them, to which he smiled after every one. She’s five and smart, the biggest heart you’ve ever seen, and it almost makes you sick just how much like Simon she is. Kind, caring, expressive, and an overall love bug. It made you excited to see if Mellie would be the same, or the baby.
That’s right. The baby.
A back burner topic that you couldn’t think about too often since everything else felt more important than your pregnancy, like your life or Mellie’s. Your hand settled on the plush of your stomach below your belly button, unknown to Simon. He hasn’t mentioned anything since they ran tests in the hospital. Maybe ignoring it would make it easier if you miscarried, which you were almost sure of when you were in that basement. There was a lot of blood and you… the blur of it made your head hurt. Mellie cried, you… You believed the baby wasn’t definite, even when the doctor told you it was - with twelve weeks under your belt to prove it. There was no point for it to stay when it had every reason to leave, when you had every reason to say it wasn’t safe for your family anymore.
Someone had added newborn diapers and clothes to the weekly grocery run by Kyle, they were both quick to hide them away as if it would set you off. You found your gaze rarely moving from the show on the TV, kept warm by your blanket and Mellie. Exhaustion crept in every moment but you fought it, you could barely eat, barely exist without help. The only thing you were good for now was comforting your children and overthinking to Hell and back.
Mellie sniffled against your chest, you looked down at her to see her swiping at her little eye. You were quick to brush her hair back, her eyelashes fluttered as she looked up at you, tears in her eyes. A kiss to her forehead and she hummed contently, her hand going back to holding her pacifier that she continued to suck on. Just a quick glance to you always calmed her down and any attempt for Simon to hold her ended with ear-piercing screams. Sometimes you felt bad for him, for everything he’s enduring for the sake of taking care of the family - but the little itch in the back of your mind couldn’t care at all. The hour of need he vowed to be there for came and went with no sign of him until it was completely over and you had saved yourself. Saved the child you had without him, then his friends had saved you. Not him. And that betrayal felt like your teeth that chewed your nails down to the quick - harsh and painful.
His hand is on your ankle, his thumb rubbed tiny circles through the blanket and a part of you refused to acknowledge the comfort it provided. At least just for this moment, your husband was in no way a traitor but in the dark recesses of your mind, he was enemy number one - the most wanted man, ready to be hanged for his crimes as if he had stolen the crown jewels. The piece of innocence you once had was now shattered into a million pieces and the irrational side of your brain only had one person to blame.
The rational divide in your body craved the sanctuary of his presence, knowing there was nothing he could do - stuck on base, running interrogations in Price’s stead. He didn’t even know anything had happened until Price called him from the hospital, which a part of you was angry at Price for. The blame shifted like branches in the wind, one could not exist without the other.
The peaceful side of your body craved normalcy. The broken and bleeding side wanted to break your hand in the wall and scream at them until your throat became raw.
The gentle rubbing on your ankle turned to a soft pat, your eyes refocused on your husband as he leaned forwards, peering at you. Your face began to heat as he stared at you, like he was able to claw his way into your head and hear every word you said. “What?”
“You feelin’ okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re staring at me.”
A sigh escaped your nose. “Didn’t mean to.”
His head tilted just a little, a couple strands of hair fell away from his face as he began to study you for just a moment. He sighed too, gently rubbed your leg and looked down at Mellie. “Not nauseous or anythin’?”
Your hand instinctively went to Mellie’s back, your fingers splayed out as if to make her look smaller. “No, Simon.”
His body minutely moved back, he sat up straight and wiped at his nose. “M’gonna go shower. Be right back.” Simon quickly stood and walked away, but not without gently patting your head as he did.
His footfalls were replaced by the sound of the front door closing and heavy boots, you craned your neck to see Soap appear. The paper bags he had were shoved onto the counter, he ripped his hood off of his head and wiped his eyes, blinked a few times, then looked at you. “It’s pishin’ a doon out there.” A slight tilt to your head and he sighed, “It’s raining very hard.”
“Why didn’t you say that then?”
“Ah did.” A chuckle left his lips as he peeled off his coat, placing it on the counter. “Ye 'n' yer Simon are too alike.”
“Why?”
Soap began to dig in the bags, “Ye both ask too many questions. Him more than ye, since I like ye more than ah do him.”
You hummed, your gaze moved down to Mellie again. She’d gotten bigger since the incident and her stay in the PICU; the cold didn’t hurt her much, thanks to the flannel you wrapped around her, as well as how fast Price and his small temporary team found her and then you. The image of the rock face still hadn’t left your nightmares and neither had Price’s terrified scream for a medic.
Sometimes it felt like he was your only friend in this birdcage that was once your home. The only one who understood because he was there, he wrapped up your injuries as they bled and oozed, he stared at what you did to your kidnapper. He saved your child’s life, he saved yours, and ferociously defended his decision to keep Simon in the dark. Price was your friend. Sometimes you hated him too.
A pan clanged against the stove and you flinched, Mellie grumbled a loud and angry, “Mama.”
You pulled the blanket farther up her back, even when it freed your freezing feet. “Sorry, honey. Go back to sleep.”
She shook her head, her button nose pressed awkwardly into your chest before she looked up at you. “Seep?”
You knew better than to get her to nap on you, a particular little thing she was. It took a lot of energy to push yourself up and stand, all while still holding Mellie. The tingling in your hands grew worse with every moment, so you needed to get her upstairs to bed before you could accidentally drop her.
No, you wouldn’t drop her. You can’t drop her. She can’t walk, she can’t do much of anything other than babble, she can’t…
You inhaled through your nose before breathing out. The pungent smell of the candle in the kitchen invaded your nostrils, it made you nearly gag at the smell you once loved. You remembered lighting it that night, you remembered…
“Are ye excited for the parties?”
A look to the kitchen was met with a smiling Soap, your eyebrows furrowed and your chin instantly tucked into Mellie’s hair. The bags were gone, he was starting to cook something.
“Parties?”
He held out a spatula towards you, pointed down towards your daughter. There was no look of confusion on his face, only excitement. “Mel’s birthday party and the baby shower. We’ve been workin’ on ‘em for the past few weeks-“
“Johnny.” Simon’s voice echoed from the stairs as he suddenly made his presence known, quickly shucking on an old black t-shirt.
Soap, the ever present beacon of excitement, chirped, “Hi, LT, I’m makin’ dinner-“
But you didn’t even look at Johnny when he spoke, your eyes bored holes into Simon’s wet hair. “I didn’t know you were throwing parties for that.”
Simon’s glare was harsh before it moved to you, softening immediately. “I was going to tell you when you were feelin’ better.”
Feeling better. Feeling better? For fuck’s sake. You’ve been ushered around this house like a 98-year-old grandma with a fall risk, you just minorly damaged your hands and one of your legs, you were fine. Why couldn’t they see you were fine? Price could. Price was your friend, he could see you were fine. Why couldn’t the rest of them? Why doesn’t Simon know? Why does it seem like he doesn’t know anything?
Your voice instantly rose, anger fire balled at him. “You know I don’t like surprises, Simon!” Does he? Does he know? What does he know?
He winced a little, his hand outstretched as he slowly walked towards you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d be upset since you were-“
Think. Know. Understand. Notice. Does he do those things?
“That’s the problem.”
No.
“Come again?”
If he did, he’d have noticed the way you leaned back a little, half a step away as he grew closer. He would have noticed the way you held Mellie tighter, the way she squawked in annoyance as you did. He should have noticed the rage in you.
“I said, that is the problem.”
“What is?”
“You don’t think. You never think! Of course I’m not gonna get better with the lot of you hovering over me! I can do things on my own, I’m strong enough! I’ve been fine for weeks!”
Simon was a strong man, he didn't back down. That you knew, you expected his quick quip, “Your doctor said you should be takin’ it easy, love, that’s why-“
“I’m not weak, Simon! I’m passing all the tests with flying colors!” Spit flew from your mouth, your fingers gripped Mellie’s onesie like it was a lifeline.
You stared at Simon with wide eyes, ones that threatened tears. You could see the exhaustion in his face, the bruises you accidentally left him look so much worse in the light of the window. At any other moment, the sight of what you did to him would’ve made you look away. Now, you stared at him, made him look at you and what his broken promises have done to you.
“I’m just trying to help!”
“I don’t need your fucking help! I didn’t before and I don’t now!”
“What the Hell do you mean by that?”
“You know what?” You looked towards Soap in the kitchen, who seemed to look frozen by your gaze, his eyes wide and shocked. “Thanks, Johnny, but I’m not hungry anymore. I’m going upstairs.”
“Sweetheart-“ His hand grabbed your wrist without warning, the one that held Mellie’s back. You almost instantly screeched as your brain went into shutdown - protect Mellie, protect her, protect her-
“Don’t touch me!” Simon ripped it from your wrist so quickly that it almost took you with him, but you kept your balance and held your squirming toddler closer to your chest. The air in your throat constricted, you struggled to breathe as you whimpered, “Don’t… Don’t touch me. Stop.”
Simon shrunk to a size that was too much like a man you didn’t know, a shadow of something inside his brain that made him seem like a frightened child. “I’m sorry.”
You didn’t care at that moment. That little itch in the back of your mind became a gaping gash, and you could only see him as the man who let you get hurt. Who chose his work over your child’s life. Over yours. By God, you were allowed to be angry now. Your jaw clicked with how hard you pressed it together.
“Don’t.”
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