#i know i havent talked much here lately but life has been beating my ass

[phonification]

is this the only balloon taco interaction ever i cant remember if they have actually had an actual exchange of words before. is this it .

[thisdreamplace]

i feel like i havent properly updated in a while so here we go :))))

so lately, ive really been practicing knowing how i cannot mess this up. also sitting with my fears and doubts as they arise and choosing a new story. im practicing full surrender and acceptance of the 3d. and knowing how i must change myself and leave the outer world alone. practicing self validation, over the subtle need for 3d validation. i want to say this podcast episode has really been so helpful for me in navigating this.

about a week ago i felt such deep confidence and knowing within myself. like i felt confident in who i really am, and i just KNEW my desires want me too. i even started to openly talk about my desires with others, because for the first time ever i felt like it was just a fact. i didnt feel like i was reaching for the moon, i felt like the moon was reaching for me. (any audrey fans reading this ?? hehe) i felt so confident i was able to look my 3d mirrors in the face and say, yep. its mine ! i didnt care if i was looked at crazy or not, because i truly felt so confident and secure. it was the most wonderful experience.

shortly after that though, all hell broke lose. a major purge began. at first, i felt so blind sided. it took a couple days for me to make the correlations. everything that was coming up, was the opposite of that confidence and knowing i felt. in a way, it became almost funny ! like this is literally a purge of the old story. i mean, it didnt take the pain away but it was a small amount of relief to realize, i really just have to persist through this moment. i had my fair share of breakdowns, for sure. i even cried so hard one night, wishing i never learned about the law. i felt so suffocated.

what i kept doing, and keep doing, is deciding i can choose where i want to go in any given moment. yall, this is the most difficult thing i have ever done. im not going to lie to you. i am used to giving myself the space to feel victimized completely, knowing how what im experiencing ultimately means nothing, then persisting when im ready. this is my first time that i am, more often than not, looking these doubts/fears/unwanted circumstances in the face and saying, “i accept you. i know you mean nothing. i know its okay that this is so painful right now. i know my desires are already mine.” this is my first time truly practicing acceptance of the 3d and responsibility, then turning inward, knowing how consciousness is the only true reality. practicing letting go of that want for control over the 3d. not allowing my mind to get caught up in “what am i doing wrong ?” and choosing to know i am doing everything right, and these moments are proof of that. like,, i would be lying if i said it wasnt fucking uncomfortable ? but i will say, ive reached the space where i know how this is the work that must be done. i have nothing to lose. and everything to gain. and i GET that. like i KNOW it. omg ive been going thru it emotionally, the circumstances have been beating my ass fr, and yet i KNOW everything is just getting better for me. its like on a level, i dont even want to wallow in self pity ? like as tough as this is, i know that theres so much beauty and love thats coming out of this rough ass patch. like wow. through all of this, i am choosing faith.

to wrap this up i wanna say that more than anything, i want to live freely. (shout out to i am love for emphasizing how its okay to be human!!!!) i dont want to be a picture perfect person. i want to be me, happy, cry baby, joyful, bratty, romantic, playful, allllll that. and i want to live my dream life being true to me. i dont want to give up the things that make me, me. not saying that i want to be miserable, not at all. but im saying this in the way that i fully acknowledge and am accepting how im here to have a human experience. and i dont want any part of me, sweet or sour, to dictate whether or not my desires are mine. they just are mine. existing is reason enough. im allowed to have it all and be human. so, here i am being honest with you guys about everything. im not scared of my past or the circumstances, because i know they have no power in the face of who i truly am: God of my reality, unconditional + eternal love.

💖🌈💫🌺

[ajokeformur-ray]

I watched Joker tonight and typed out my thoughts as they occurred to me. Unedited; typos are guaranteed. I did this a few months ago and really enjoyed looking back at my thought process and I wanted to do it again so that I can look back and know that what I feel is real and true in my darkest times.

You're welcome to skip this; it's under a cut for ease of doing so. Warnings for occasional sexual comment lmao. There’s no self shipping in this, I don’t think.

word count: 2, 575.

I’M SOBBING and I’ve only just pressed play.

Heart squeeze Chest much ow

THERE HE IS

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nooooo baby omg don’t pretend - let yourself hurt if it hurts. Don’t pretend. 

Carnival Carnival Carnivalllllllll 😍😍😍😍😍

I am a Simp for one clown and his name is Carnival

Someone help him, I????

That sign hit Arthur as hard as my love for him did ksksksk

MY EYES BE LEAKIN💔💔💔💔💔

bb nooooo

Oh honey let me kiss those bruises and replace the marks of violence with love, hm? You’re safe with me.

Breathe, my love. Don’t fight the laughter. Let it out, let yourself go. 

Screams into a pillow because????? much sad must kiss

“have you been keeping up with your journal?” LIKE HE HAS TIME

oHHHHH boi’s close to losing his shit

Do it, Artie. Give ‘em hell.

“I think I did” YOU TELL HER!!💖💖💖

I want to be his cigarette. Where’s Satan??? I got a new deal for my blackened soul which he took at half price😂😂😂😂

I’d have my hand between the door and his head so fuckin fast I swear

“I just don’t wanna feel so bad anymore” yep SAME

ohhhh peekaboo🥺🥺🥺

this makes me giggle ksksksk i watch this scene when i feel sad bc it always makes me happy for the time it’s on

he’s so good with kids; he doesn’t have to try and think about what’s funny, he just does it, he’s himself and it works

FUCK OFF LADY CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S STRUGGLING????

give

him

back

his

card

casually wrinkling my nose against tears lmao

ohhh the way he looks up at those stairs from the bottom

i can feel his exhaustion

me too, my love

step step step step

god i wanna get him the fuck outta gotham

and into my arms and a soft, warm blanket

“eat. you need to eat” LITERALLY WHAT I TELL MYSELF EVERY DAY IN HIS VOICE BC OTHERWISE I JUST WOULDNT EAT???? I’m losing so much weight asdfghjk its not enough tho

SUPAH RATS

Did Arthur come up w that joke or was it actually a Murray joke????

HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT IM CRY??🥺🥺🥺🥺

“I WAS PUT HERE TO SPREAD JOY AND LAUGHTER”

YOU DO BABY, YOU DO!!!! EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!

go deepthroat a cactus randall - youre already a bit of a prick so🙃🙃🙃

“THE GUYS THINNK YOU’RE A FREAK BUT I LIKE YOU”

HOYT. YOU CAN GO SIT ON A CACTUS TOO

FUCK OFF

😡😡😡😡

“WHY WOULD ANYONE STEAL A SIGN”//”WHY DOES ANYONE DO ANYTIHNG?” HOYT YOU’RE SO FUCKING ILLOGICAL HERE IM????? ERIKA DOES NOT (ALSO WILL NOT LMAO IM A STUBBORN BIITCH) COMPUTE

Can arthur fuck me like he pounds the trash/????🥵🥵👀

those dark curls.... that crooked tooth... must kiss.🥺🥺🥺

pennys casual cruelty makes me so fucking angry

foreshadowingggggg ~  *JAZZ HANDS*

ugh the way he dances with that gun im👀🥵🥵🥵

he enjoys the power of it and his breathing gets deeper asdfghjk

clumsy baby omggggg i just COOED 🥺🥺🥺🥺

okay maybe im stupid but i genuinely dont understand this “senior who needs to graduate” skit i’m??? how is being an intro to western civ student funny im???? someone explain???

but also dont bc fuck that guy lmao arthur’s hilarious

true millenial humour (and brit humour lmao we’re dark asf)

THE WAY ARTIE TWIRLS HIS FINGERS AROUND HIS HAIR AND DANCES IN HIS SEAT IM???🥺🥺🥺

wanna curl up on his lap at night when hes writing and go to sleep with a 

blanket around our bodies🥺🥺🥺🥺

when arthur wears a shirt at home you KNOW it’s a daydream

THAT CROOKED TOOTH IM WANT KISS.

WAIT IS IT CALLED STAND UP COMEDY BC YOU STAND UP... AND ITS COMEDY???

23 FUCKING YEARS, PEOPLE... TO REALISE THAT🙄

WHEN CARNIVAL CAME ON SCREEN I NTHE HOSPITAL I MADE A PORNOGRAPHIC NOISE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

IF YOURE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, SHOOT MURRAY

WOOPS WRONG LYRICS

😂

“doctor of laughter”🥺🥺🥺🥺

doctor i have a case of the Big Sad can you... do an exam? 😉😏

NO BB DONT BEAT YOUR HEAD UP THERES PRECIOUS CARGO IN THERE

in what world does chucking cold greasy chips in a girls hair being “nice”???

lmao fuck these guys

ohhh honey breathe. dont fight it, my love, just breathe.

my heart’s breaking for you, you sweet thing🥺🥺🥺

i love you so so so so so so so much ugh you’re an actual fucking angel

just breathe darling

i need to get you a cup of tea with honey in it, your throat must be so sore

ohhhh baby im so sorry

i’d take every single punch if i could

i’d die for you

i wish i could protect you

i wish i could look after you

and take all those hits

and kill those guys for you

im so sorry

sobbingggg

YES GOOD MAN THANK YOUUU

KILL THOSE ASSHOLES LMAO DESERVED IT

yeah i have a grey morality... im similar to deadpool in that way tbh

carnival comin’ to kill your insecurities

8 bullets in a 6 chamber???? mm-hm

DONT FORGET YOUR BAG THATS EVIDENCE

AND THE WIG

RUN BABY RUNNNNNNN

GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOOOOO

RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE

THE SOUND OF HIS FEET SLAPPING THE PAVEMENT IM👀

OOOOOH JOKER’S WAKIN’ UUUUUUP

fuck he’s so hypnotic

the way he runs his hand down his lower stomach asdfghj🥵

must kiss the inner tendons on his wrists and lick the blood off his face 

must kiss

he moves like water

fuck hes so fluid

bathroom scene = the scene in which my heart and vagina clench at the same time

im WANT

T POSEEEEEEEE

“i still owe you for that, dont i?”

PUNCH OUT IS MY FAVOURITE THING E  V  E  R

D O N T S M I LE

UGH I FUCKING HATE being told to smile if i don’t fucking want to so BIG mood

PLEASE SHUSH ME THE WAY YOU JUST SHUSHED PENNY IM???

but also dont lmao bc i’ll think you’re mad at me and i’ll hide in the bedroom for the rest of the day lmao i’m sensitive✨✨✨

i wanna sit on his lap and still his bouncing knees

“thats not funny”

fuck off penny yes it is

I JUST CHOKED ON MY COFFEE IM???

“but i do” god the  P O W E R

ugh that fucking sexist piece of shit comedian can choke “women look at sex like buying a car” 🤢🤮🤢🤢🤮

chauvinistic pigs can die thanks

his lil trip upstage im cry🥺🥺🥺

ohhh baby. just breathe, darling. it’s okay to be scared. dont fight it. just breathe. 

he and i both cover our mouths when we laugh/smile in the exact same way and it makes me feel closer to him

how can they think hes laughing at himself when hes literally gagging????

people only see what they wanna

the Penny imitation is👌👌👌

s m i l e

i remember when i came home from seeing this for the first time, i got home and dropped to my knees to cry in the bathroom. it was such an emotional release and so much love and i played smile to try to make myself smile but i only made myself cry harder lmaooooo ~ 

smile and thats life are my go-to songs if i gotta cheer tf up

danger sign = neither works

he looks so soft after his “date”🥺🥺🥺

“thats life” yeah but murray you dont even leave the studio so how do you know????

ngl arthur’s anger scares me.

anyone so much as raise their voice at me and i’ll cry really bad and i will shut myself away for the rest of the day and quiet anger terrifies me so his banging abt in the kitchen would freak me tf out😲

angry bb😭

he controls his anger so fast though omgggg ~ 

that soft please sends me

idk where it sends me lmao

down below probably

BARE FACED CARNIVAL OMG THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE

I LOVE THE MATCHING COLOURS ON ARTHUR AND BRUCE TOO ???

okay but the implication that arthur always carries a clown nose on him is🥺🥺🥺

hes such a good clown im?????

lmao im enjoying the show more than bruce is skskskk

arthur’s lil chuckle makes me🥺

his HUMMING im??? soft?????

his brows are so strong and dark omggg ~ he’s so beautiful

OKAY i’ll be honest i’ve seen this alfred/bruce scene and the thomas bathroom scene later on and the penny flashback scene a 100 times and i still dont fucking understand what did or didnt happen regarding arthur’s parentage im????

 ive seen interpretations to say he is thomas’ son and some to say he isnt and i still cant decide so? im stupid i guess 🙃

“a clown thing?” the  s a s s

“it’s exit only” yeah so’s my ass🙃

if i was there in the hospital room i woulda turned that tv off as soon as i realised what clip was gonna play

murray’s cruelty is d i s g u s t i n g

lmao hes an asshole

arthurs lil clap from joyyyyy ~ 🥺🥺🥺

did i say murray???

i meant  m u r r a t

🙃🙃🙃

sneaky baby

wayne hall either has super bad security or arthurs v quick on his feet

🤔🤔🤔🤔

he looks so good in red omggg ~ 

f o r e s h a d o w i n g

arthurs smile when hes watching chaplin is how he smiles when we all gush to each other abt him and ourselves!!!

hes so cuuuuuute🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰

“told me what” 

ohhhh honey🥺🥺 im so sorry. “crazy” is a trigger word for arthur; it made him start laughing in the bathroom with thomas

“touch my son again ill fucking kill you” yeah?? touch my arthur again and i’ll fucking kill you🙃🙃🙃🙃

^^^ that ones a joke do not come at me

the clerk in arkham was nice to arthur - he, gary and sophie are the good gothamites.

none of it was enough to stop his descent into joker, though, and i’d even say it was too late right at the beginning of the film, too... 

his sock puppet thingy “they cut all those” is such a Joker thing to doooo ~ 

the way arthur’s laughing in the hall at arkham turns into sobbing is gut-wrenching omg the poor thing😭

i wanna hug him and protect him and help him to process this in a healthy way

sweetheart, if i could take all of your pain and put it onto me... i so would. i’d do it in a heartbeat.

i wanna get you into a hot shower, make you some food and sit and listen to you. we can either sit in silence or you can talk to me, my love, and you will be heard and understood and loved.

“i had a bad day”

IT’S OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY OMG YOU POOR SWEET INNOCENT THING IM LOVE YOU🥺💔

THAT ENTIRE LATE NIGHT SCENE LAUGH/SOBBING GOT ME -

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i just wanna hold you and protect you and help you and love you

I’m so fucking sorry, darling. i wish i could take it all away from you

“i havent been happy one minute of my entire fucking life”

NO ONE SHOULD LOOK THAT ANGELIC AFTER COMMITING MATRICIDE IM????

get

that

fucking

gun

away

from

your

face

boi dont test me ill fucking go feral or - no, tell you what, i’ll point the gun at me and see how you like it

im looking respectfully at the green speckled undies scene....👀👀👀

“coming” 😏😏😏

“my mum died im celebrating” and “i stopped taking my medication” and you STILL stayed in the apartment with Arthur????? dudes those are 🚨🚨🚨 signs

woe betide anyone who underestimates arthur fleck lmaoooo

randalls death scene makes me laugh every time omg i feel so vindictive

get WRECKED

i wanna lick the blood off his face. i really want to

ngl i think i have a blood kink... 

“dont look just go” ME WITH MY ACNE WHEN I SEE IT IN THE MIRROR 😂😂😂😂

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER 

ASDFGHJKL

J

O

K

E

R

ERIKA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERRRRRR

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 MY BABY MY MAN OMG THERE HE IS IM CRY???????😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺

my mind is literally blank rn im just staring and crying and smiling so hard my face hurts????? im love him so so so so much

sweet thing’s so used to pain he gets HIT BY A CAR AND KEEPS GOING????

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

hghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

euirrrrrrgkjbgkfbirsghigrbugr

*incoherent keyboardsmash to portray utter love*

ohhh baby no dont cry. oh honey😭 i wanna sit on your lap and kiss your tears away

“i love dr sally”

you have a WIFE at home

“DO YOU REMEMBER?” THAT WAS YOUR CUE TO APOLOGISE LMAO GET FUCKED MURRAT

he’s so CUTE

omgggg ~ 

my hearts gonna give out its SQUEEZING SO HARD IT HURTS

YOU MOCK THEM, BABY!!! THEY GOT IT COMING

“i wanna get it right” hes so passionate

my comments have deceased in number bc im just too starstruck and in love to even think clearly lmao

jokers all i know rn and this is the most peaceful ive felt in WEEKS

im sobbing

ugh fuck this hurts so BAD

youre speaking the truth, darling. im so so proud of you and i love you so much

“THEY COULDNT CARRY A TUNE TO SAVE THEIR LIVES” LMAO INSIDE JOKESSS

literally sobbing right now ugh what the fuck youre in so much pain and in the middle of a breakdown and no one saw you

ugh baby im so sorry, you deserve so much better

you tried so hard and you were gonna fall no matter what

IN THE WHITE ROOM

“hi” baby they cant hear you but im COOING 🥺🥺🥺🥺

you’re so fucking cute

say the word and ill burn gotham to the fucking ground for you

i wanna sit atop that car and cradle your head in my lap and wipe the blood off your face and help you stand up and be there for you and and and😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love you so so so much. 

i’d be so much worse off without you in my life. you brought a splash of colour which has never dimmed or faded. it never will. 

b l o o d    s m i l e

=

im wearing my inside on the outside now and it still hurts

angel💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i see you and your pain. i love you.

i see you, angel. 

his genuine laughter is🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

that cute lil “ksksks” he does im🥺🥺🥺

i always laugh with him omg the two of us are laughing together ugh its the closest i will ever get to sharing in his joy

 t h a t ‘s    l i f e

i love the hallway daaaaaaaaaaaaaance ~ 

them hips dont lie😉😉😉

i love you i love you i love you i love you omg the sun’s like a halo ugh i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you im singing along to thats life while i type out how much i love you at 220am lmaooooo ~ 

i   l o v e    y o u

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 22

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.5 - 4.8k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: i havent even written half of what I wanted to be written in this chapter so they will have an other discussion in the next chapter, and they’ll spend an other day together. i feel like the song thing wasnt as good as it should have been. so i feel like it really sucks. i just hope it doesnt.

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : heres the few requests i used. i suggest you dont read them before reading the chapters tho!

Chapter 22 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

Just as I opened the door to leave, I came face to face with Louis who rolled his eyes and laughed. I knew I should have left a while ago but the truth was, I hadn't shaved in 4 days and my hair was a mess. I was pretty sure it wouldn't bother Niall but it bothered me and I had to do something about it.

After trying out too many dresses, Julie, Eleanor and I gave up for the day and ended up at the restaurant with a few glasses of wine. We talked, we laughed, and I tried to keep the conversation as far from Niall as I could. I was still trying to sort out how I felt, or mostly, what I wanted, and I felt like it was something I had to do alone. I could lie and pretend I didn't love Niall but it was too late. In fact, I have never stopped loving him and I was not sure I ever would. Possibly, if we stopped talking and seeing each other, I could live with someone else, get married with someone else and be happy to a certain extent, but being around him without being with him would be impossible. I've done that for so many years before we started dating and it made me miserable. If there was one thing I was sure, it's that if I ended up with someone else than Niall, I would cut him out of my life for good. That thought made me want to throw up but I just breathed in, trying to calm myself. I hadn't taken that decision yet and I was not ready to, anyway.

"Five more minutes and you'll be late."

"I'm already late, Louis." I just said, shaking my head.

"Yea no, I told him half an hour, not 15 minutes like you had said. I know you and he does too. Don't lie to yourself, Olivia. You're always late."

"Well, i'm an artist!" I tried to defend myself with a small amused smile.

"Yea yea, use that excuse if you want." Louis chuckled, walking in. "Niall's waiting for you. Hurry or he'll already be asleep!"

"That drunk huh?" I raised my nose up. I sort of hoped we could have a discussion, or maybe I just wanted to feel myself beneath him. I was not sure. Either way, my plan was gonna have to change.

"No he seemed a bit better when we came back."

"Came back from where?" I frowned, tilting my head.

Louis' lips curled and he put his hands in his pockets before looking down and chuckling. He looked up at me again and laughed some more before shaking his head.

"No, no way, he'll tell you himself." he finally said, making me grimace. "He's got a surprise for you."

"Whatever, I don't have time to insist." I smiled and rolled my eyes, walking past him and bringing his face closer to kiss his cheek. "Thanks for calling me, Lou."

He turned around to look at me as I walked to my car and raised his voice to make sure I hear him.

"You take care on the road yea? Call me if you need anything!"

I smiled and nodded. "Don't worry. Now call your girlfriend!"

I quickly hopped in my car and drove to Niall's, feeling suddenly a lot more nervous than I probably should. I didn't know why, it was definitely not the first time I was seeing him, and everything was going so well between us, almost as well as it was before he broke up with me. Of course, we had many things to discuss again but we were on the right path, I could feel it. I shook my head, realizing I was talking about him as if we were dating, or at least, as if I was not supposed to marry someone else, and it made me feel guilty.

However, when he opened the door, all the emotions fighting inside of me suddenly disappeared, All I felt was love and my lips curled into a smile, just like his.

"Thanks so much for coming." he let out, moving a bit to let me in, and closed the door behind me. "I just want you to know that I was not jerking off to your nude. Louis just said that because-"

"He's an ass, I know." I chuckled before licking my lips. "Does that mean my nude was not good fapping material?"

His face changed into a few different expressions but finally, he raised his eyebrows and moved closer to me, bending down slightly to slip his arms around my waist and taking a step closer, forcing me to take a step back until my ass pressed against the couch.

"That nude is definitely great fapping material, I didn't say I wouldn't use it, I just meant that I was not doing it tonight, big difference."

My lips curled more and I chuckled as he bent down to kiss me. It was wrong, I knew it, but I couldn't help myself to let him kiss me and touch me again. I never had enough and I probably never would have.

"You're drunk." I let out before kissing him again.

"Mm, yea, a bit."

I laughed and shook my head. "Come on, let's go to bed yea?"

He groaned and his lips found my neck, making me laugh again. I loved how cuddly he became after drinking and I felt his mouth leaving small kisses on my skin, making goosebumps appear.

"Will you let me hold you and cuddle you?"

I smiled and nodded and with a low sigh, he pulled away. We walked to his room but kept the lights off and I helped him with his shirt and pants before getting undressed too, picking his shirt off the floor and putting it on. We both lied down in bed, facing each other, and I could see his drunk smile even in the darkness.

"Olivia, I love you. I think I always will."

I knew he was past the tipsy stage but I couldn't hide that his words made me smile. I moved closer and brought my hand to his cheek, letting my fingertips brush on it.

"You think?" I asked in a whisper, an amused smile reaching my lips.

"I know. I know I will always love you." he corrected himself, making me chuckle again. "And that nude, oh god, pet, just thinking about it makes me hard, look."

He grabbed my fingers before I could do anything and brought it over his boxers. As soon as I felt the shape of his cock on my palm, I moved my hand away. My heart had skipped a beat and I chuckled nervously before raising my eyebrows.

"Hey, don't do that!" I let out with a laugh, making him laugh too.

"You know I jerk off a lot thinking about you?" he mumbled. "That time you slept here, I walked to your room and saw you naked. Fuck, Liv, It got me so horny. It was the first time I saw you naked in over a year. I'm sorry, I swear it was an accident, but it made me so hard I had to jerk off in the shower."

My lips parted and my breath caught in my throat. I remembered that day very well... a bit too well. "You... wait, what?"

He groaned and moved his head before looking back at me again. "I know! I'm so sorry! I think I even moaned your name when I came."

I stared at him a few more seconds as his eyes moved quickly on my face. I pressed my lips together, feeling my heart thump hard in my chest as I tried to decide if I should tell him what I did or not.

"That day I... I sort of walked to your room to ask you for something and I saw you... in the shower." I admitted as he frowned.

"Really? How did you like it?" he asked, his lips curling into a smile. "You never told me."

I wanted to tell him that I actually touched myself next to him without him knowing but for some reasons, the words wouldn't come out and I stopped trying when he whimpered low and more closer, pulling me against him.

"Say you love me, petal. You love me right?"

I smiled a bit, leaving a soft kiss on his jaw. "I love you, Niall."

"I'm also the best fuck you ever had, I have to be." he added in a mutter, making me laugh this time. "I am, petal, tell me I am. I'm better than Louis, at least, yea?"

I moved back a bit to look at him again and frowned. I was a bit surprised by his request since he was never the type to be insecure and I just licked my lips.

"Does that really scare you?"

His face changed in a funny face and he shrugged. "Ha, no." he told me before his face changed slightly. "Okay maybe a bit."

I brought my hand back to his cheek and I suddenly got serious. I didn't want him to keep thinking about that, it was seriously useless to be scared of that.

"I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, and more than I'll ever love anyone else. And you're the best fuck I've ever had, and ever will have."

His lips curled into a smirk and he chuckled low. "I know. Now pretend I never asked."

I rolled my eyes and brought my lips to his, kissing him slowly as he answered my kiss. We didn't go further, we just kept kissing gently and deeply until we fell asleep and it was the very first time I had done something like that. When I woke up, the way I had fallen asleep came back to my mind and I felt a stupid grin draw itself on my lips. That was a bit embarrassing yet that was the most romantic thing we ever did together.

I got up slowly, making sure I wouldn't wake him up, and went to the bathroom before going to the kitchen with pills that I left on the counter. I finally made coffee and found eggs and bread, knowing he may not eat at all. I heard a groan behind me and I smiled despite myself until I felt his arms slip around my waist. His lips reached for my neck and I chuckled, moving my shoulder up.

"It tickles!" I admitted, turning to look at him with a smile. "Your stubble."

He laughed and moved away, grabbing a cup and filling it with coffee before literally swallowing the pills with the warm beverage. I remained silent and put the eggs in a plate, leaving it on the counter between us and grabbing the bread in the toaster.

"No thanks, just eggs is fine." he just shook his head as I handed him a toast.

He handed me a fork and we started eating together, still standing up and facing each other. I wanted it to be that way every single day of my life until I'd die. I wanted to wake up with him, eat breakfast with him, and spend the day with him. All my days. Every fucking day.

"What do you wanna do today?" I just asked, seeing him stop moving from the corner of my eyes.

"You're spending the day with me?"

I shrugged and pressed my lips together to make sure I wouldn't smile too big. "If you want me to."

"So many useless words coming from such a pretty mouth."

"Shut up!" I laughed. "You should have heard yourself last night!"

He grimaced and I laughed some more before shaking my head. I moved closer and wrapped both my arms around his neck, quickly pressing my lips against his. He closed his eyes and his arms slithered around my waist pulling me closer.

"What was that for?" he asked in a whisper, staring in my eyes with a smile when I pulled away.

"I was thinking of going for a walk at the park, and since we won't be able to do that there, I thought it was appropriated to do it here before we left."

His smile turned into a smirk and he raised his eyebrows. "You know what we could do before we leave?"

I laughed again and shook my head, taking a step back. God I loved him so much. How did I always feel so beautiful and desirable when I was with him was beyond me. At first, I thought it was just a way to see if he could still get me somehow, and then I thought maybe he just missed the time we were dating but now? Now I was starting to realize that perhaps it was just me. He wanted me, and he loved me. And that conclusion was exactly what I wanted.

"Maybe later." I proposed with a smile. "Let's go out. Fresh air will be good for your headache."

He groaned again and I laughed some more, walking back to his room to get my bag. I quickly got dressed, the smile on my face never faltering. Was that how it would be if I was with Niall? Would I always be happy, in love and excited to spend time with him? Realistically, I knew it was impossible to always be happy or always smile. Everyone had bad days and living with someone, or even just dating someone, was not perfect, but I felt like if I was with Niall, it would come very close to it.

He came back to the room just as I was done and started getting changed in front of me, making me roll my eyes but chuckle. It took him fifteen minutes to get ready as I waited for him next to the front door and when he appeared, my eyebrows raised.

"Wow, you look good." I pointed out.

"Those are just pants and a shirt. Why? Did you change your mind? We can spend the day in the bedroom if you want!"

I laughed again, perfectly aware that he wanted to go out as much as I did, and took a step closer before grabbing his hand in mine and staring at him. After about a minute, he frowned.

"What are we waiting for exactly?"

I squeezes his hand in mine and licked my lips. "Just trying to imagine what it would feel like to walk around with you while holding your hand."

"How does it feel?" he finally asked in a whisper.

I only send him a soft smile and let go of his hand before walking out of his house. He followed me to my car and I got behind the wheel as he took a seat on the passenger's side. He didn't comment but I knew he preferred when we used his car, perhaps it had something with keeping the control or something like that, but this time, I just wanted to choose the place. I brought him back to the park we had gone to meet last time and we walked around, enjoying the sun and the weather. It was quite a big and popular park but he had a cap on and I was clearly not famous enough to be recognized. I frowned a bit when he stepped out of the traced path to reach a part with a lot less people and sat in the grass as I did the same. We hadn't talked at all and it was not awkward. Silence was never awkward between us. After a while, I just lied down in the grass and crossed my ankles to stare at the sky. It took him a few seconds but he did the same and I noticed he had kept both his hands on his chest.

"That's a dragon." I let out, "A dragon who clearly doesn’t spit out fire. More like, bubbles or something."

I brought my arm up and traced the clouds with one of my fingers as he chuckled.

"That looks more like a snowman to me."

"A snowman? Do you have imagination at all?" I argued, raising my nose up before using a dumb voice. "Oh look, a cloud that's shaped like a cloud?"

He laughed too and I glanced at him right on time to see him lick his lips. "Okay, a few sheep then. And a fence." he paused. "Okay this one looks like two persons having sex."

"No, Niall, that's just projection."

This time, he let out a louder laughter and I smiled more. I turned back to the sky, feeling a cold breeze on my cheeks, and my eyes fluttered. My heart did exactly the same when I felt Niall's fingers grip my hand that was laying on the grass, between us.

"No PDA, remember?"

"Yea I'm re-thinking that rule."

I felt something jump in my chest as the surprise took over me but decided not to say anything. The more time I was spending with Niall, the more I realized that he had changed, and a lot. He was more mature, more balanced and clearly way more ready to settle than he used to be.

The day went by very well. We grabbed food on our way back, ate in the car and ended up at the movies. When we walked back inside his house, I felt tired and stretched with a yawn.

"Wine?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Beer is fine."

I followed him to the kitchen and sat on the counter as I looked at him open a beer and throw the cap in the bin. He took a sip and once again I rolled my eyes as he handed it to me.

"When I open it, there's a tax." he explained as If I didn't already know that rule. It had been instituted when we were teens and he had never stopped doing it since then.

"The tax could be something else than a sip, you know." I proposed with a smirk.

"Okay, show me your tits, then."

"You already took a sip." I pointed out.

"Take a sip of my beer and we'll be even. And then, show me your tits."

I laughed but ignored his request before I licked my lips.

"Yesterday you told me you saw me naked a few weeks ago and jerked off thinking about me int he shower." I told him, suddenly a bit stressed. "Remember?"

"Clearly."

I looked down at my beer as he stood near me, his right side leaned against the counter.

"I saw you in the shower." I added.

"Yea I remember you telling me that last night too." he smiled.

"Mm, when I saw you it turned me on. I.. I touched myself, too. While you were jerking off in the shower. I literally masturbated with you but you never saw me."

His lips parted a bit and he put his beer away before letting out the air in his lungs quickly. His eyebrows raised again and he moved between my legs, grabbing the beer from my hands and putting it away with his as he spread his hands on my thighs. He didn't say anything else, he just reached for the hem of my pants and immediately, I held myself with my hands on the counter and moved my ass up. He pulled on my pants, bringing my panties with them and let them fall on the floor before taking a step back.

"Get your feet on the counter, spread those thighs, darling."

I felt my heart jump in my chest and bit my bottom lip before doing what he asked. His gaze immediately dropped between my legs and he grabbed a chair, placing it in front of me before sitting on it. He made a quick chin movement in my direction before looking up in my eyes.

"Show me what you did." he let out. "Do it like I'm not here."

It took me a few seconds to react but I brought two fingers to my mouth, leaving some spit on them before bringing them between my legs. I let my fingers brush on my clit and slip inside me for a few seconds before going back to my clit. I couldn't take my eyes off of him and the way he was looking at me with a stoic face was driving me insane.

"You know, last time was easier because you were touching yourself."

I had no idea what went through his head but he kept looking at my fingers rubbing against my clit and slipping inside me alternately for a few minutes and finally took his cock out and started stroking it very slowly. The sight made a whimper escape my lips and my thighs tensed as I reached for my clit again. He looked amazing and there was nothing I wanted more than to watch him touch himself until he'd reach an orgasm except maybe feeling him inside me. My eyes were stuck on his cock and when he started leaking precum, I took my hand away from my pussy.

"I think you should come here and fuck me."

"No, you come here and sit on me."

I nodded quickly and moved off the counter before straddling him, still holding myself with my feet on the floor. He watched his cock enter me as I sat on it and let out a curse word as I quickly took my shirt and bra off. Once again, I was naked and he was completely dressed but I didn't mind. I felt at ease to be vulnerable in front of him, and that thought brought me close to tears.

I started moving up and down on him and I felt his hands run on my breasts, stomach, back an ass. He spanked me gently and then a bit harder, making me ride him quicker. It felt too good and my whole body started throbbing as I came close to an orgasm. He groaned and I felt his hands on my hips, helping me up. It made me frown but I followed his lead as he took my hand and brought it between my legs. I started rubbing my clit again and whimpered as I saw him jerk or again. I could feel the tip of his cock brush between my legs with each stroke of his hand and when he came, he pushed my hand away and I felt myself start shaking, his cum spurting against my clit as the tip of his cock brushed against it, helping me reach my peak too. I quivered and moaned, hearing him groan and the whole sight was just too hot. I knew it would probably make a mess but I really didn't give a fuck. I was panting as I slowly got down from my high and reached between my legs with my hand, my fingers brushing on my sensitive clit as I spread his cum on my pussy.

"That was so hot." I confessed in a whisper, making him look up in my eyes.

He got up without answering and grabbing my face to kiss me hard. I felt his cock press against my stomach and moaned in his mouth as he smiled through the kiss.

"Stay naked." he murmured as I nodded before I followed him to his room.

I saw him take off his clothes too and went to the bathroom to clean a bit before getting back in bed. He turned the lights off and we stayed together in silence, just watching the ceiling.

"Heidi sent me a picture of you in a wedding dress." he finally just randomly said after a few minutes. "That's why I didn't answer your text message, I was just so... flabbergasted by how good you looked."

I felt a wave of hated for Heidi for half a second but when I realized what Niall had said, it quickly vanished. I knew I looked ridiculous, no matter which dress he had seen me in, but the fact that he thought I looked great made my whole body feel warm suddenly.

"I want a future with you, Olivia." he just admitted, leaving me speechless.

He turned to me and pulled me closer before I heard him start singing. I closed my eyes to focus on his words and besides his voice, all I could hear was the sound of my heartbeats.

"My mind is complicated Find it hard to rearrange it But I'll have to find a way somehow Overreacting lately Find it hard to say I'm sorry But I'll make it up to you somehow

And I just don't know why The stars won't shine at night

Tell me you want it A thousand miles away from the day that we started But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest If honesty means telling you the truth Well, I'm still in love with you

Did I miscalculate this? Let's just go back to basics Forget about what's come and gone 'Cause I hate to see us like this Breaking up on nights just like this We should be shooting for them stars of gold

So tell me you want it A thousand miles away from the day that we started But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest If honesty means telling you the truth Then I guess we lost our focus And it's killing me that we could go to war like this But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest If honesty means telling you the truth Well I'm still in love with you

Oh, we'll be alright Oh, it'll be alright Oh, we'll be alright Oh, it'll be alright

So tell me you want it A thousand miles away from the day that we started But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest If honesty means telling you the truth I guess we lost our focus And it's killing me that we could go to war like this But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest If honesty means telling you the truth Well I'm still in love with you"

I held my breath for so long I thought I was just going to pass out but I inhaled again when I felt tears fall down my cheeks. He sniffed and my eyes fluttered open only to see him crying. We just stayed there, laying in the dark, looking at each other, both crying, overwhelmed by feelings we didn't really know how to handle. I moved closer and kissed his lips until he deepened the kiss. I tasted the saltiness of his tears and he probably tasted mine, but we didn't care. All that mattered was his warm naked body against mine and the words he had sang to me.

"I love you so much." he sobbed to me in a whisper. "I wrote this the first day I saw you again at the bakery."

I wanted to tell him that I wanted it, just like he asked. I wanted to tell him that I was ready to jump back into this, to be with him and give us an other chance, but I just couldn't. I breathed in deeply and took a decision though. I was going to break up with Dylan. Clearly, it was not working and whether I decided to be with Niall again or not, I couldn't just keep Dylan around and keep on hurting him for weeks.

"That's one of the most beautiful songs I ever heard, Niall." I murmured, feeling my lips brush against his. "All of your songs for me..."

I cried again, letting more tears fall on my cheeks.

"We did lose our focus it's true... but it's back. I focus on you Niall. And you're right, we'll be alright."

I heard him break down again and it broke my heart. I brought my mouth on his against and we kissed some more. I felt his hand on my back and his fingers holding me so tight that they sank in my skin. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him but there were no words. I wish we could have a longer conversation and I felt like there were so many things left unsaid that clearly needed to be heard, but there was no way I was going to ruin this moment.

"I love you, Niall. We'll be alright." I repeated low before I heard his voice crack slightly.

"We'll be alright."

[seoups]

TRIGGER WARNING: ANGST, SELF HARM, DEPRESSION, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, SUICIDE

Growing up in the system with your brother didn’t help you growing up. You and Keigo had no parents to help you with anything. But you had each other, and that was better than any parental relationship.

Your brother soon became a pro hero and the number 3 pro hero. His hero name is Hawks. When your quirk had developed, it was learned that you had the same quirk as your beloved brother.

Keigo trained you as much as he could before you were sent to take the UA entrance exam.

Not to his surprise, you passed the exam and were set to start going to school at UA.

“Good job, squirt,” he ruffled your hair. “Thanks,” you said. “Aren’t you excited?” he asked. “Not really,” you said. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to be a hero but I’m just not excited for 3 years of getting judged by my peers and self-questioning if I’m good enough to be in the course.” “You need to lighten up,” he said. “If only it was that easy,” you said. “Are you ok, kid?” he asked. “Sure,” you said, walking away to your room. “Hey, kid, get back here!” he exclaimed, flying after you. “What?” you asked. “Seriously, are you ok? Do you wanna talk about something?” he asked. “Yeah, I’m fine. You can go,” You said. “I know something’s on your mind,” he said. “Just… you’re such a legend around here. What if I can’t follow your footsteps and be as good as you,” you said. “Everyone at this school are the best of the best. What if I can’t compare?” “Kid, I’ve taught you everything I’ve learned. You are more than comparable. And even if you still worry about that, just don’t tell anyone that you’re my sister,” he said. “Sure,” you said. “Ok, now get a good night’s rest cause you have to go to school early tomarrow,” he said. “Ok, sure. Are you gonna come drop me off?” you asked. “I’ll try my best to make it,” he said. “Ok,” you said.

~

Your brother ended up being busy in the morning and you flew to school yourself. Once you arrived at the UA gate, you landed, encountering a red head with pointy teeth.

“Woah, that’s an impressive quirk,” he said. “Oh, uh, thanks,” you said. “I’m Kirishima. I think we met at the exam,” he said. “Oh right, I’m y/n,” you said. “What class did you end up in?” he asked. “Class 1-A. What about you?” you asked. “Me too! I hope the rest of our classmates are cool and manly like you,” he smiled. “I’m not that special,” you blushed. “Yes, you are!” he exclaimed. “Your quirk is so cool and flashy. Mine’s nothing in comparison to yours.” “What? All quirks are awesome,” you said. “Well, the flashy ones are definitely the best for heroing. Speaking of heroing, your quirk is a lot like Hawks isn’t it?” he asked. “Oh, I, uh, never thought of that before. I guess they are quite similar,” you internally panicked. “Oh hey, Kirishima!” a boy who distinctly reminded me of pikachu screamed out towards the red head. “Hey Denki!” Kirishima exclaimed. “Who’s this?” Denki smirked. “I’m y/n,” you said. “Nice to meet you, Y/n,” he smiled.

You smiled back.

“Are you in 1-A too?” you asked him. “Yeah! This is gonna be so much fun!” he exclaimed. “Maybe,” you smiled.

Maybe this class wasn’t going to be so bad.

~

During lunch, you got a call from your brother. You answered, bringing the phone up to your ear.

“Hey, kid, how’s the first day?” he asked. “It’s surprisingly good. It’s a lot better than what I expected,” you said. “That’s awesome! I got to go, but I’ll see you later tonight,” he said. “See ya,” you said, ending the call.

“Boyfriend?” Kirishima asked. “Brother,” you corrected. “Oh gotchu,” he said. “Me? A boyfriend? No one would want me,” you laughed. “What? You’re crazy,” Denki said. “Not crazy, just right,” you said. “Not right, just fucking stupid,” Sero said. “I- Sero’s such a bully,” you laughed. “You clearly havent had a conversation with Bakugo before,” Kirishima said. “WHAT DID YOU SAY SHITTY HAIR?” Bakugo screamed. “Ah, I hear it now,” you laughed. “I’LL KICK YOUR ASS!” he screamed. “Wanna try me, pomeranian hair?” you asked, sending a feather close as possible to his neck. He growled in your direction. “That’s exactly what I thought,” I took the feather back. “Damn, Y/n, you’re kinda scary,” Kirishima chuckled. “Good,” you chuckled. ~

You flew home, in a surprisingly good mood. After a few hours, your brother returned home.

“Hey, kid, how was school?” He asked. “It was good,” you smiled. “A smile? That’s unusual. What’s got you so happy?” he chuckled. “I have some friends now and they think I’m pretty cool,” you smiled. “No one’s ever really done that before.” “That’s amazing, y/n!” He smiled. “Kiri did say that my quirk was similar to yours but other than that I don’t think they suspect anything yet,” you said. “You should just tell them I’m your brother,” he said. “That’s too high expectations for me,” you said. “If they’re really your friends they won’t judge you based on your family,” he said. “I don’t want to take any chances. I like them a lot, Keigo,” you said. “I don’t want to lose the only friends I’ve ever had. You of all people should understand that.” “Y/n, I-” you cut him off by leaving and going to your room, locking the door behind you. “Y/n, come out,” he knocked on the door. “No, I’m tired,” you lied. “That’s bullshit, you sleep at 1 in the morning,” he said. “I’m sleeping early,” you lied again. “Bullshit. Y/n M/n Takami get out here,” he said. “No,” you said. “Y/n, please. Just talk to me. I know you’re dealing with a lot of shit right now and me not being here most of the time isn’t helping with that but I need you to talk to me,” he said. “I’m going to bed early, Keigo,” you said softly. “Just please tell me that you’re ok,” he said. “I’m fine,” you said. “Ok. I believe you. Goodnight, y/n,” he said. “Night,” you said.

You moved to your bed, lying down.

If I have this great life where my brother makes a ton of money and is one of the top heroes, why do I feel like this. Why do I feel like my life is nothing compared to everyone else? Why do I feel like I’m not doing enough? Why do I feel guilty for feeling this way?

You sighed before getting up and going to the bathroom, rummaging through your cabinets. You grabbed your razor, smiling as the light glinted in the blades. Disassembling the razor and grabbing a blade, you lifted your skirt and the band of your underwear. You pressed the blade into your skin, dragging slowly, trying your best to hide your whimpers.

I deserve this. I shouldn’t be sad. I have everything. I deserve this.

You wrapped your cut with gauze and bandage before you pulled down your clothes again and rinsed the blade, tossing the razor in the trash.

I deserve this.

You went back to your room and flopped on your bed. The pain coming from your side distracting you from your energy you still had left, causing you to go to get tired and go to sleep.

~

“KID WAKE UP, YOU’RE GONNA BE LATE!”

You woke up to the sound of Keigo screaming. Quickly getting ready, you ran out of your room.

You ran to the apartment door.

“Wait, Y/n, you have to eat something!” he screamed. “I’m good,” you said before running out the door.

You ran to the first floor before flying to school. You entered the homeroom 2 minutes late.

“Y/n! You can’t be late!” Iida exclaimed, doing some weird hand motions. “Let alone late on the first day!” “I slept in and my door was locked so my brother couldn’t wake me up,” you said, sitting in your seat. “Why didn’t you parents wake you up?” Denki asked. “Don’t have any,” you said. “Oh, I’m sorry, y/n,” Kiri said. “It’s not like they left me, I never even met them in the first place,” you shrugged. “I just try to forget about it.” “It must’ve been tough without parents growing up,” Uraraka said. “We managed,” you shrugged. “Guys, lay off with the questions,” Jiro said. You smiled at Jiro. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom. Kiri, can you cover for me?” you asked. “Yeah, sure,” he said.

You went to the bathroom and locked yourself in the stall.

Lifting your skirt again, you used a feather to cut a light slit in your hip again, this time lower than the last one.

They probably left because of me. They saw me after I was born and were so disgusted that they threw me and Keigo out. He should be blaming me for not having our parents. Why doesn’t he?

You wrapped gauze and bandage around your hip.

The gauze seemed to be lightly visible, but it wasn’t visible enough for someone to question.

You walked back to class.

“Thanks for covering,” you mouthed to Kiri.

He gave you a thumbs up.

~

“Hey, Kid,” Keigo said as you walked into the apartment. “Hey, you’re home early,” you said. “Yeah, I had some free time,” he said. “Ok, well I have to do some homework,” You said, walking toward your room. “Wait a minute, Kid,” Hawks stopped you. “What’s that?” he gestured to the gauze. “Oh, it’s nothing,” you panicked. “Don’t lie to me,” he said. “I said, it’s nothing,” you repeated. “I will pin you down and see what it is, don’t test me,” he said.

After a second of quick thinking, you attempted to run to your room but Keigo, who has trained his quirk longer, was faster than you and swooped in front of you.

“Y/n, show me it,” he said. “Keigo, please, no,” you cried. “Kid, the fact that you’re trying to hide it from me is making me worry and I’m really hoping it’s not what I think it is,” he said. “Keigo please,” you pleaded. “Show it to me. Please,” he said softly.

You cried as you lifted up your skirt and took off the gauze.

“Did you do this to yourself?” he cried. You sobbed as he pulled you into a hug.

“Do you want therapy? Will that make you better? What can I do to help you? Please I’ll do anything to help you,” he sobbed. “I don’t know,” you cried. “Is school doing this? Is Aizawa drilling you too hard cause I’ll beat his-” you cut him off. “School isn’t doing this,” you cried. “We’re gonna get you therapy and a diagnosis. We’re going to the doctor tomarrow after school, don’t be late,” he said.

You nodded before heading towards your room.

“Wait,” he said. “Bring me all your razors.” “Keigo I-,” you started. “Don’t argue with me on this one,” he said. “And I’ll go to your room and check so don’t try hiding any.” “Ok,” you nodded your head.

I can just use my feathers. I’ll be fine.

“And don’t fucking think about using you feathers. No more locking the door,” he said. “I’m sorry,” you said. “It’s not your fault,” he said, pulling you close and pressing a kiss to your temple.

You smiled and went to your room. Grabbing your packs of razors and bringing them to him.

“How am I supposed to shave?” you asked. “Here, hold up,” he said.

He went to his room and came back. A beard trimmer in his hands.

“Use this. The blades arent sharp enough to cut you but they shave pretty well,” he said. “Thanks,” you said, putting it in your bathroom.

~

“Hey, y/n, are you ok?” Kirishima asked, clearly worried. “Oh, uh, yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for worrying about me though,” you feigned a smile.

He got closer to you.

“Y/n, are you sure? I know the look of not being ok and you’re giving me that look. And I know that was a fake smile,” he whispered.

You took a deep breath before speaking again.

“Meet me outside after class,” you said. “Ok,” he smiled.

…

You smiled as you saw Kirishima outside.

“So, what did you want to talk to me about?” he asked. “You were right. I’m not ok,” you said. “Do you want to talk about it? I’m all ears. I know how it feels to not be ok,” he said. “Um, you know how I don’t have parents but that really affected me a lot and my brother not being around a lot also contributed to that so I started to do a bunch of really, uhm, unhealthy things like self-harm,” you said, your voice breaking. “Y/n, if you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable,” he said, hearing your voice break. “N-no, I want to be able to talk to someone other than my brother about it,” you said. “Ok, then continue,” he smiled. “Yesterday, my brother found out that I self-harm and there was a lot of crying but he was really supportive and wants me to get better and now I have a doctor’s appointment today and I’m getting diagnosed,” you said. “That’s amazing, y/n!” he exclaimed. “I hope that you can get better and stop your habits.” “Thanks, Kiri,” you smiled. “Can I tell you something?” he asked. “Sure,” you said. “I like you a lot, Y/n. And I want you to get better and be happy so I’m gonna do whatever you need me to do to help you out,” he blushed. “You like me?” you asked. “Yeah, and I don’t care if you don’t like me. I just want to help you out,” he chuckled.

You smiled before you hugged him.

“Thanks, Kiri,” you smiled.

He hugged you back.

“No problem, Y/n,” he smiled.

~

You ran to Kirishima as you entered school grounds.

“Kiri!” you exclaimed. “Y/n! How’d it go?” he asked. “It was good! She diagnosed me with depression and prescribed me some meds, and I have therapy tomarrow. I mean, I was sobbing the whole time but it counts, right?” you asked. “It does,” he smiled. “and I’m really proud of you for doing that.” “Thanks, Kiri,” You hugged him.

…

“So, you two aren’t dating?” Denki asked. “Nope, just best friends,” you said. “Somehow, I doubt that,” he said. “Well, we’re just best friends so you’re gonna have to believe it,” you said.

You two chuckled.

~

“Kiri! I’m a week clean!” you cried. “Good job!” he picked you up and spun you. “It’s all thanks to you,” you said. “I didn’t really do anything,” he said. “What do you mean? You supported me the entire time,” you wiped the tears from your face. “You did that all yourself! All I did was reassure you,” he smiled. “I love you, thank you for being there for me, Kiri,” you hugged him. “O-Of course, Y/n!” he smiled.

…

“HAPPY 1 WEEK!” Keigo screamed as you entered the apartment. “Thanks, Keigo,” you chuckled, hugging him. “Are you feeling better?” he asked. “Uhm, a little bit,” you smiled. “The intrusive thoughts are gone so I call it a win.” “That’s good. You’re awesome, Y/n. Thank you for doing this,” he hugged you again. “It’s not that great of an accomplishment but thanks,” you chuckled. “Are you kidding me? This is amazing progress! Next thing you know, you’ll be 100 years clean!” he smiled. “I don’t even know if I’ll live to be 100 years old,” you said. “Don’t say that,” he pouted. “I mean like in the natural way,” you said.

Lie. The intrusive thoughts aren’t gone. You aren’t doing better and this accomplishment is bullshit. It’s praising you for doing the very least.

Brushing the thoughts aside, you went to your room.

~

“Tomorrow, we’re gonna have a bring your parents to school day. Yay,” he feigned a cheer.

The whole class looked at you with a sympathizing look.

How did they all know? Were people talking about you behind your back? Where they trash talking you for being a loser with no parents?

“Y/n, I’m sure you can bring your brother?” Aizawa asked. “Oh, uh, maybe,” you said. “He’s really busy most of the time so I’m not sure.”

You can’t even get your own brother to show up? That’s fucking pathetic.

You were sure that’s what they were thinking. You knew they wouldn’t say it to you because they were too nice.

…

“Keigo, there’s this bring your parent to school thing tomarrow, do you want to come?” you asked. “You want everyone to know that I’m your brother? What about the high expectations?” he asked. “High expectations are better than everyone thinking that I can’t even get my brother to hang out with me,” you said. “Ok, I’ll come with you to school tomarrow,” he said. “Thanks,” you said. “Anytime, kid,” he said.

~

“Kid, let’s go, we’re gonna be late,” Keigo said. “I’m coming!” you exclaimed.

We left the apartment and flew to school, landing at the gate.

“Woah, Y/n, this is your brother? Your brother is Hawks?” Denki asked. “Uh, yeah,” You said. “Nice to meet you,” Keigo shook his hand. “You too,” Denki said.

Kirishima ran up to us, a taller woman coming behind him.

“Hey,” he slung his arm around me. “Hey, Kiri. Meet my brother, Keigo,” you said. “Nice to meet you. I’m Kirishima,” Kiri smiled. “Nice too mee you too, Kirishima,” Keigo shook his hand. “Oh, and this is my mom,” Kiri introduced us. “Nice to meet you,” You smiled.

We walked with Kiri to class 1-A. Keigo pulled up a chair next to me and sat by my desk. Everyone was staring at us.

Aizawa had everyone introduce their parents and you waited patiently until it was your turn to introduce your brother.

You and Keigo stood up.

“Uhm, this is my brother, Keigo. You guys probably know him better as Hawks,” You said. “Nice to meet my little sister’s classmates,” Keigo ruffled your hair. “You’re impossible,” you said, fixing your hair.

You two sat back down.

You looked around. Everyone was so happy with their parents.

I could never have that relationship with my parents. They looked so happy with their parents. Their family doesn’t have to worry about them killing themselves.

I should just end it so Keigo doesn’t have to worry about me.

“You ok?” Keigo asked. “Yeah, I’m good,” you smiled.

They probably left you cause you were weak and lame.

You took a deep breathe before you and Keigo left for your next class.

…

“Alright, Kid. This was fun but I have to go work,” Keigo said. “Ok, what time are you gonna be home?” you asked. “7 maybe?” he said. “Ok, I’ll see you at home,” you said, hugging him. “See ya, Kid,” he said before he took off.

Is that the last time I’ll hug him?

~

The day ended as soon as it had started, and you headed home.

You popped the note into your pocket and started flying home. You flew to the top of the apartment building and stood there.

I’m sorry Keigo. I’m sorry Kiri. I’m sorry for being a pain. I’m sorry for making you worry.

You flew up higher before you put your wings away, letting yourself free fall.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

You felt yourself getting close to the ground. But you didn’t stop yourself.

You let yourself fall and hit the pavement.

~

“WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?” Keigo screamed in the Hospital waiting room. “Sir, please calm down,” the doctor exclaimed. “Just tell me what she did,” he cried. “Based on the injuries, we can tell that she fell from a high distance. At least 500 meters. And since we know she was heavily depressed and was taking anti-depressants, we believe this was suicide. Especially cause we found this in her pocket,” the doctor said, handing the note to Keigo. “Thanks, doc,” he rubbed the tears out of his eyes.

He opened the note.

Hi,

It’s Y/n, but I guess you know that. I know your angry. I know you’re hurt. I know you probably hate me but you have to understand.

I couldn’t do this anymore. I couldn’t pretend I was ok when I wasn’t. The pills weren’t helping. The therapist wasn’t helping. The intrusive thoughts never left. They just got worse.

I wanted to help people but it turns out that I couldn’t even help myself.

Keigo I’m sorry. You were the best brother in the world and I’m sorry for doing this to you. I love you so much and thank you for trying to help me out. I’m sorry for leaving you alone. I’m sorry for being a terrible sister. I’m sorry for ruining everything. I’m sorry for being the worst. You were so supportive and you just wanted the best for me but I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t stay here and I need you to understand that. Please continue to be a hero and help everyone. I love you.

Kiri Thank you for being there for me and being the only one I could rely on at school. Your quirk is amazing and is definitely hero material, flashy or not. You’re going to be the best hero out there. You were always so smiley. Keep smiling for me, ok? I love you.

~

Keigo wiped the tears away from his face before he stepped into the classroom. He stood at the front.

“If you guys remember me, I’m Keigo, Y/n’s brother. You might have noticed that Y/n wasn’t here yesterday and I’m here to talk about that,” Keigo said, his voice breaking. “Yeah, is she sick or something?” Kirishima asked. “The day before yesterday, Y/n killed herself,” Keigo said.

The class was silent. No one could comprehend what happened. Kirishima was stunned. His best friend killed herself. He thought she was getting better.

They had a moment of silence for their classmate.

Keigo walked up to the redhead.

“You’re Kiri, right?” he asked. “Yeah, I am,” Kirishima said. “She wrote a section for you in her note. You should read it,” Keigo handed him the note. “S-She did?” he stuttered. “Yeah. You were incredibly special to her. Thank you for trying to help her,” Keigo tried to smile.

Kirishima tried to smile back. He read the note before handing it back to her brother. Keigo ripped off the part that was for Kirishima and gave it to him.

“Thanks,” Kirishima said.

Keigo smiled back before leaving.

“I’ll keep smiling for you, Y/n,” Kirishima smiled.

[currentfandomkick]

Bio! Dad Strange Part 9

Jason returns, may be a 2 parter to cover tim getting kidnapped and the aftermath. Will let you know at the end. We are getting to Marinette dealing with Ladybugging soon.

Marinette wasnt sure what to think this year. She met The Barry Allen last year. She also figured out 2 heroes pre-flash revelation and two more after—in her defense Hero Stalker’s old theory on The first Robin did Batman in. it is not her fault 5 founding members have the multiple-persona game of a booger.

She was also Tetch (Mad Hatter. Doesnt deserve the name) and Mr. J’s, Jerimah’s, last victim before they died. Then some idiots revived Jerimah. She hates his cult a lot, okay.

Everyone was on high alert and trying to keep her inside. The thing is, she hates being inside. She’s inside for designing, sure. Research? She’ll live.

But 24/7 inside time?

Never a good combo with her.

Rose’s plants may be snitches, but they seemed to agree on the over coddling. She’s ten, can break phones by tapping them, and is defiantely more off her stickers than on at the moment.

The one on her was uring her into some alleyway. If she was reading the movement pattern right, a gang fight.

Lovely, she usually did these with some sort of supervision but they were all being rude and she needed time outside.

She checked her belt, a few pairs of ball weights tied together with one chain each to make bolas clipped to back. She has a taser in hand, and a few rubber bullet loaded gun on one hip and a stun gun her size in the other. She had a packet of zipties and rope up each sleeve. Easy to giftwrap and humiliate bad people, like Batman does.

She blinked once when she saw—new player? In a bright red full face helmet that looks horrible. And he’s holding that gun make all wrong to max out usage. Ugh, amatuers.

Some part of her groaned about a potential run-in with Batman and his new Robin—she was pissed about Tim not telling her still—and decided this was as good an anger management as any. New vigilante, maybe the sirens would help him find a team.

She snuck up behind a few members, quick to grab the guns and move them out of reach. No need to give anyone playing possum an easy out, right—she saw a mix of her people in with the gang. She needed to teip this guy up before he hurt the RKC street kids and honoraries tangled up in this.

“Hey helmet, if you’re gonna shoot them you’re holding the gun wrong.”

Helmet turned to see her. She didnt grab her usual harley-knock off outfit for helping today. She wanted to be Pixie Pop for a bit. And if the Rogues forgot that she’s Pixie well, better for her, right? Pixie just wore her hair like Tinkerbell and wore a bit of green.

The guy he was aiming at made to run.

Marinette grabbed a makeshift bolas and threw it at his knees. She recognized him from one of the RKC hit lists—human trafficker. He fell with them wrapped around tight and defiantely injured bith his knees with how the weights hit him.

“I, Pixie Pop?” Weird, no one had seen her as Pixie in two years. How’d he know it was her?

“Yeah. Havent been around much lately.” She threw another bola at another guy. “You new?”

“Talk after i kill these guys.”

Marinette rolled her eyes, because really?

She threw a knife to screw his aim into non-lethal on one guy. “Kick their ass first, some RKC are in here.”

Helmet oddly did as she said, switching from guns to—is that. A. Sword?

She twisted to punch the guy sneaking up on her. Helmet threw a sword and landed it in his shoulder.

“Thanks!”

“Holy shot you’re really here this time.”

“Did you get hit with feargas as a baby or something?” Her partner being prone to dellusions and good with weapons was a bad thing.

“Just came back from the dead is all.”

marinette hit the guy going for helmet with her stun gun.

“That’ll do it!”

Helmet turned to one of the guys, gun at the ready. She had a feeling Helmet needed a lot of help, or else one of Rose’s agents would be down.

“If you know about pixies, you should know she got an upgrade to having some trust dust.”

Marinette walked over to the guy, letting her tracker plant take a look. The flower bloomed and he got a face full of ‘filter-less pollen’ that’s as close to a truth serum as Rose could make. After all, people can turn sides.

“Truth pollen?” Helmet was staring at her closely.

“Yep.” Marinette turned to her victim. “Are you helping the traffickers?”

“Does infiltration and killing them count as helping?”

Helmet stared at them then.

“Which team?”

“HKT ma’am. How did you get rose to give you one of those?”

“Think for a minute who she gives these to.”

“Comanding officers of the the RKC reconn and interigation but there’s only 15 and i met them all when i joined in the fall.”

“Im the summer help when theyre not puppy gaurding. Now, i have to do zipties on the traffickers, think you can help?”

“I lost coordination from the pollen.”

“Of course you did.”

Marinette turned to see Helmet staring at her. Like she should be dead, not the new revival guy.

“Good enough.”

“I thought only Poison Ivy could do things like that.”

“I have a badass team, well, when they aren’t going overboard. One week kidnapped and suddenly im made of glass.”

“Pixie you are what, ten?”

“So? Two of my best friends went missing becuase no one stepped up, one of them resurfaced as an idiot a year later but still.”

Helmet stopped then. “Two?”

“Hero stalker went after our big brother vanished.. he came back as an idiot.”

Helmet paused. “Hey, you check the others and i’ll help you drop off the good ones at a doctor or something.”

“Zipties are at the ready. Mind doing your share?”

Helmet did as she asked, working with her until all was squared away.

“Okay, my tracker gave off a signal to the RKC to gather our guys here, and—why are bleeding?”

Helmet looked up at her then. “I am?”

“... you’re coming with me since i dont know if you need a transfusion, but i know a guy who can help.”

“I’m driving.”

“On what?”

“Motorcycle.”

Marinette let him walk her to it, and she got on first. He ‘drove’ them while the plant told her when to turn. They ended up at her dad’s clinic as ‘Mr. Smith’. He was so grounding her.

“Smith, i need help,” she tried.

Her dad came out and paled when he saw her carrying Helmet. Before he passed out he let her take it off. “Red hoodie... oh god he said he was revived.”

Her father worked out the blood bags while she checked the wound, bullet still in there. She got it out with tweezers. No major damage to the muscles and shit. How many scars did he have? Pre or post revival?

When he came to she turned to her father and said one thing.

“So this is my new brother. Dont try to get out of it, he kept me alive when i was comstantly pixie, and you said if he was in a bad place then you’d take him in, no questions asked.”

Strange sighed, nodded, and went back to fixing Helmet up.

The next day he was forced moved into an extra room by hers. Somehow there was already clothes his size and style in it.

“Pixie...”

“Im determined and my honorary aunt is a cat burglar.”

Helmet hugged her.

“So for the documents, what do you want to go by?”

Helmet said he didnt want it to be obvious, given who he was before.

“Its not like you were robin.”

“I was.”

“.... i know two robins now, pre-robining. What is my life?”

“ you are ten, calm down. And you knew dick?”

“Met him as Nightwing, not very friendly. But uh, remember hero stalker?”

“The idiot who followed me and B?”

“Yeah, so funny thing, it was a thing that he wanted to be Robin when you went off from Gotham, and then he somehow managed to convince bats to take him on.”

“That Child is Robin.”

“Will be another hero soon if he knows what’s good for him—he’s too easy to make.”

“Wait, you know who he is-is or—”

“I know 5 secret identities and want to lodge a formal complaint about heroes having no secret identity game.”

“Youre ten. I refuse to let you deal with legal things.”

“But illegal is still on the table?”

“I am a vigilante, of course it is.”

“Good, so can we tlak about how dumb Supes secret id is? I photoshoped glasses on as a joke and looked at my file and knew.”

“Wait have they found you yet?”

“No? I dont think so. Not the mom and step dad or father one yet.”

“But its.”

“I know, but i can keep multiple secret identities. They cant handle one. What is this bull they drop in my lap? No masks for two of them, and the three with cant even manage a basic gait switch?”

“I am so glad you noticed too.”

“Also we need to intervene with Hero Stalker.”

“Does your father know-know or...”

“Knows i know, but knows im not telling even in death.”

“Fair. So, heads up i am going to yell at the JL after killing B for impact.”

“How about beating him up instead and kidnapping Hero Stalker? Bats is fine just needs an adult working with him.”

“Maybe. If my mind wasnt so fucked i’d send the Dick a text or something about this, but i think he hates me so that probably wouldnt work.”

“We have planning time, that’s what my house arrest is good for. Now name.”

“... i want to go by Jay.”

“James work?”

“Sure.”

“James “Jay” Smith then. And we are fixing your vilagante outfit.”

“What’s wrong with it.”

“Your helmet has a nose. And the who this is shit for discreet armour. I’ll get a rant in fifteen on armor history from a fashion obsessed friend and make something for you using that, ok?”

“Do i have a choice?”

“I am your little sister offically. resistance is futile.”

—

So the long awaited return of Red Hoodie/Red Hood/Jason Todd.

For refrence (as age is weird here) Jason looks 14/15 here, but due to dead years is technically 18

Tim is 12

Marinette is 10

Dick is 20something.

Bruce is 30something

Heads up, this will be a two parter for this summer. As i love the next part but need sleep.

@ilovefluffbutsmutisalsogreat @emeraldpuffguide @dast218 @weird-pale-blonde-person @mystery-5-5

[askcastielandthemun]

I havent been active for a while and all of my followers are probably not following me really anymore, however, I find myself so completely and utterly alone in this world that I've turned to an old tumblr account that I haven't used in years.

I will include a trigger warning here. I'll be talking about death, smoking, alcohol, drugs, self harm, and suicide.

This past year has been, quite frankly, the worst yet of my life. It's been shit for everyone, to be honest. It's most likely why I've found myself alone. I've silenced myself and I no longer talk about what ails me. Lately it's been so awful and I've had the most suicidal thoughts I've had in years. Every single day is such an exhaustion but the only reason I get out of bed is because I don't want people to know just how bad it'd gotten. I've had multiple attempts to take my life this year, all unsuccessful, and after each attempt when i woke up, I only felt pathetic and weak and mad that I wasn't even successful taking my own life. My friend had done so earlier the beginning of the year, January 14th, and I've felt responsible ever since because he basically told me he was going to do it and I didn't believe him. I've been tempted to drink until my liver gives out or smoke any kind of drugs to over dose, and I don't because I'm scared of my mother or father finding out and punishing me.

I've drank, of course. Not enough to get me wasted. I was near my sister who, at the time, only let me have about a third of a fireball bottle before she took it from me since I'm not old enough to drink and if my mom found out, she'd beat my ass.

Just today, i found out David Bowie, who's music kept me sane for so long, took the virginity of a 15 year old girl when he was in his 40's, i found out my grandpa died on a Facebook post for the second time instead of my family calling me and telling me ( the first time they forgot and i found out on Facebook ), my friend tried to kill himself again, my hairstylist who has been a family friend since I was like 6 and was the only healthy female figure in my life, killed someone and is in jail for manslaughter, and I lost my self harm clean streak.

I'm so tired and I've been trying so hard and yet all my family can see is this lazy kid who only got a job because his dad owns a restaurant. I'm not out as transgender to my dad, either. I'm still called my dead name by my mom and sisters, though, who I am out to. I am so tired that I rarely eat anymore. I'll eat dinner and that's about it. I can't focus on school, I will probably have to repeat 11th grade, or I'll just drop out completely which I'm so against. I don't want to drop out but I'm so tired. I just want to fuckin die 90% of the time.

My room looks so disgusting because I haven't had the energy to clean it since I moved in. My step dad used go call me a pig because of it. I'm so ashamed. It's the real reason why I don't let anyone over. That alone caused a past relationship to fail.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm a broke 17 year old high school student who has to pay for everything themselves because their mother and father don't hold up to their word and back out on promises. I have asked my mom for help and therapy so much. It's been four years. I want to give up so bad.

I'm sorry for this long venting post. I don't have anyone and if I don't get this out to someone, to something, I will erupt into a whole ass psychotic episode.

[softforcal]

Can you do a Luke x opener continuation?? I loved it so much

Luke x Opener!Reader

Poly, Cal, Ash, Michael

-you’re an rising performer and they saw you live once while creating their new album and all fell in love with your voice on the spot

-they convince management that they want you as their opener because you’re amazing

-when your management approaches you about it, of course you say yes and soon after that you’re following all of 5sos on insta and they’re following you

-they want to get to know you pre tour to see if you’re chill, it will be easier to tour together if you’re all buds

-so you go meet up with them at Cal’s house and spend the whole day getting to know each other

-they’re all super cool and you find yourselves all laughing and chilling next to the pool having a great time

-they show you some of their new songs and you all end up having an impromptu singing and dancing party

-yeah, its going to be a great tour

-you have to leave and they all offer to drive you home but you have it covered

-as soon as you’re gone they’re all just like “wow.” “yeah, she’s an angel.”

-they make a group chat with you in it and you all talk a bunch before the tour starts

-meeting up with them whenever you can

-Ashton convinces you to go to yoga

-you go walk Cal’s dog with him

-Michael getting you to create fortnite so you can play with him and Luke

-the first day of tour arrives and you show up to the airport only to be sneak attacked by Ashton who was totally waiting for you, he’d really want you to feel included and welcome

-getting to the plane and you go to sit by yourself but then Michael just comes and sits next to you and smiley, and he’s like “are you ready for tour?!” and he’s just a ray of absolute sunshine

-they all kind of take turns sitting next to you because the flight is so long

-you end up falling asleep on Luke’s shoulder and they’re all just like “oh my god she’s so cute.”

-Luke doesn’t let anyone wake you

-usually the opener would travel in a different van and tour bus but they really want to ‘include’ you so you end up being in their van most of the time and you sleep on the other tour bus but you’re in their bus most of the time

-your first show you go out there and you have an amazing set, as you get off the stage the guys all pull you into a huge hug to tell you how amazing you were

-getting to watch them preform and they are brilliant

-hanging out after the concert in a back stage room laughing and talking about the tour

-singing with them

-going over their note changes with them

-can you imagine singing with Calum and Luke and they both just adore your voice

-Michael trying to teach you how to play guitar if you don’t know how to already

-Cal trying to teach you to play bass

-And Ashton letting you dick around with his drums

-going out after concerts to look at the city

-you always get cold and one of them always ends up giving you their jacket

-or one of them offers to hug you to keep you warm

-Michael gives the best fucking hugs but Cal is a close second

-its because Michael is a lil squish okay!?! don’t fight me on this

-all of you taking pictures of each other and being able to freely post them because you’re their opener and its the cutest thing ever

-everyone speculating that you might be dating one of them

-taking cheeky photos where you’re kissing one of their cheeks or their kissing yours and everyone flips out

-spending entire bus rides in their bus goofing off and laughing and having a great time

-when you leave to go to your own bus for the night they spend at least an hour usually talking about the cute things you did while with them

-one night you’re in the chill area with them watching a movie and you fall asleep cuddled against Calum

-none of them want to move to wake you up so they all sleep there

-waking up next to these four guys, you all having moved at some time during the night and you’re just a cuddle blob

-pre concert rituals together with huge group hugs

-helping Luke put glitter on before a show because “more glitter!”

-sometimes they bring you on stage to sing with them as an encore

-you and Luke just have such vocal chemistry

-”and can we give it up for our angel and opening act, Y/N!”

-so many hugs

-group dogpiles after the show

-you all write songs together and bounce ideas off of each other

-harmonizing together

-tapping out beats together

-running around cities and usually one of them grabs your hand and starts running and then you’re all running around looking at stuff

-Cal and Ashton are huge fans of carrying you when you get tired

-getting shipped with all of them

-the five of you looking at the ship names and laughing then picking favourites

-so every guys favourite ship name is their own name with yours? what a fucking coincidence eh?

-they all ask your favourite ship name and you’re just like…… “uhhhhhh….”

-refusing to choose

-it would honestly be such a mess because it’s not like you don’t know they’re into you but its hard to choose because they’re all hella

—————————————————————–Luke con’t here

-so on tour there are also a lot of interviews the guys have to do

-you usually don’t have to do any interviews which is great, you can just spend the day looking around

-one day you get a phone call from Luke, they’re all set to do this super low key interview that they doubt will get much coverage and he has no idea where the other three are and no one is answering their phones except you and the interviewer suggested if you were available you could go because you’re their opener and they could talk about tour life from an outside perspective

-your management sends you a message and they think its a good idea so before you know it, you’re going and meeting Luke for an interview

-the interview starts kinda funny because you’re all laughing about how three members of 5sos are just MIA but you must be the new 5th member

-the interviewer is actually super sweet about it and its obvious that she’s just coming up with questions because obviously she had made questions for the group of guys but can’t use them anymore cuz they aint there

-”so give us an inside look on what it’s like to be on tour with four giant Aussie men?”

-”oh my god it’s the worst.” you joke, Luke pushing you with a grin, “no it’s great, they’re all super great guys.”

-talking about what it’s like to practice vocals with Luke and if there’s a possibility of there ever being an actual duet that might be released

-”i’d be down to write one. Y/N’s a lyrical genius.” Luke grins

-talking about tour shenanigans

-the other three boys showing up ten minutes in, breathless and with dead phones

-they swap in for you and complete their interview

-but the interviewer asks if it’s okay if she posts both interview videos separately

-management agrees

-its a decent interview and you’re not worried because management assured you it’s a super low key interview company and because it’s the two of you it probably wont get as many views as a normal interview would

-so management is wrong

-the interview blows up online

-for very good reason

-every time you speak Luke just looks at you with the most complete adoration and you hadn’t even noticed

-watching a gif of it because holy fuck how could you have not noticed? well, you were looking at the interviewer so it makes sense

-but holy shit this boy has heart eyes

-you never really know how someone feels about you until you see how they look at you when you’re not looking i guess

-you’re at the hotel later that night, you havent seen Luke since the interview

-you have no idea if he’s seen the frenzy on twitter, your ship name is trending and its mayhem

-you’d always kinda guessed that the band all had sorta crushes on you but the way Luke had been looking at you wasnt a simple crush

-there’s a knock at your door and of course when you open it, its Luke

-”hey, uh, can i come in?” he seems kind of nervous, you’re nervous too, i mean how do you even deal with this situation?

-you’re his opener and you’re not even half way into tour, if this goes bad, it will be very bad

-”i wrote some stuff i wanted you to take a look at.” he says, pulling out his phone and opening the app he keeps all his new lyrics on

-the two of you get comfortable and you take his phone and begin to read

-they’re love songs. really good love songs about passion and the inability to make a move and you start to realize little details about the person the speaker is talking about are little things about you

-”what do you think?” he asks nervously

-”i think whoever these are about is a really lucky girl.” i mean, you’re not just going to assume they’re about you because if you’re wrong you’re fucked

-Luke sighs, “you’re going to make me say it arent you?” “what do you mean?” “they’re about you.”

-”oh thank god!” you laugh, closing the space between the two of you so your lips can meet his

-the two of you crash onto the bed with you on top and you both giggle, lips meeting again

-when you pull away and red your forehead against his, just taking in the happiness, his fingers rub small circles on the bit of exposed skin on your waist

-”you have no idea how long i’ve wanted to kiss you.” he breathes ”was it everything you dreamed of?” “better… i want to take you on a date. a proper date. just you and me. have you eaten yet?”

-the two of you decide to go out for dinner, a late dinner but still

-he holds your hand as the two of you walk

-”Luke should we worry about Paparazzi?” “the entire internet already thinks we’re dating… unless you don’t want to hold my hand?”

-gripping his hand tighter

-you’re already such great buds its like almost any other night, except its just you and him (usually at least one of the others tags along)

-and then his hand goes to cover yours on the table and you melt

-so much laughing

-”i’m so glad those dumb asses missed that interview.”

-he insists on paying

-as you’re leaving the restaurant you get papped a bunch but Luke tries to shield you to the best of his abilities

-ending with the two of you running down dark streets like mischievous children to escape the cameras

-him pulling you into a dark alleyway to kiss you as he presses you against the wall

-”wow Hemmings, you know how to sweep a girl off her feet.” “Princesses are meant to be swept off their feet so it’s only natural.” (ok he would not say this, like straight up he wouldnt, but let me live okay. fuck ya’ll i’m soft and a girl can dream of a guy being this squishy okay?)

-running your fingers through his curls

-the two of you getting back to the hotel and as you’re walking down your hallway to your separate rooms, Cal, Michael and Ashton’s doors all open to stare at you two

-”so how was the date?” “do you two need condoms?” “Luke you’re a walking meme again.”

-like yeah they were all into you, yeah you’re gorgeous, but Luke went for it and you’re obviously reciprocating and bros before hoes, man, they gon support their tall bean friend

-”could you guys give us a bit of space?” Luke laughs but he’s serious

-they all kinda begrudgingly close their eyes as Luke walks you to your door, “see you in the morning?” “yeah we’re bussing to the next city.” “just making sure you’re not getting on the next plane or something.”

-soft boy being worried because he can’t believe it’s real

-reaching up and kissing him again

-he goes from soft to hardcore in an instant, his body pinning you against the wall as his hand cups your face and his other goes to your waist

-whistles erupting through the hallways because of course those nosy fucks opened their doors again to see if Luke got a goodnight kiss

-blushing as you hide in your apartment, giving Luke a quick peck before closing the door

-tour continues sort of like normal

-going on stage is kinda weird now because the fans definitely know you and Luke are trying it out

-you and Luke try to find more time alone

-lots of cute short dates when you can find the time

-holding hands on the tour bus

-he invites you to chill in his bunk for a bit one night and you both just talk about lyrics and vocals until you fall asleep

-waking up the next morning to the rest of the boys teasing you and Luke

-you’ve been dating a while and you’re both anxiously awaiting the next time you get to stay at a hotel because like… there’s been some close calls in hallways and on his bunk but he wants your first time to be somewhere you won’t get interrupted

-and the sexual tension is as thick as smoke

-like the boys don’t even want to be around the two of you

-because you and Luke are just looking at each other with such hungry eyes

-Luke getting kinda weird when any of the other guys are doing cute things with you…. like, Ashton had his arm over your shoulders and Luke growled.

-everyone knows that your casual dating is reaching something more

-the day arrives and you have the longest concert of your life before you all pack into a van to go to the hotel

-the van is silent. you all know what’s about to happen let’s be serious

-”so…. my condom offer still stands.”

-”shut up Michael!”

-as soon as the van stops Luke grabs your hand and the two of you practically run into the hotel and up to your rooms, the door isnt even closed and his lips are on yours.

-first time with Luke when you’re his opener is pent up and needy because you’ve both been waiting for a while and patience is not this boys best feature

-hands are everywhere

-clashing teeth

-laughter

-tearing clothes

-not wanting to have your lips away from each other for that long

-lots of whining and moaning

-grinding

-the two of you finally get on the bed and he pulls away, “Luke-” you try to protest but he just brushes his fingers softly against your face, “give me a moment to just look at you. you’re so beautiful.”

-his fingers gently roaming your body

-its like the eye of the storm. a few moments of him just cherishing you and being so soft

-”Luke i need you.”

-and then he’s back at making you moan so loudly you’re sure the others arent going to get any sleep

-i feel like he’d spend a lot of time worshipping your body with his fingers and mouth

-yeah, at least one orgasm before he’s even actually inside of you

-he works you up until you’re begging him for it before he actually goes inside of you

-staying still for a moment, his fingers brushing over your face again

-then he just goes ham fam,

-i feel like he’d really be down for first time missionary with someone he actually loves

-having access to his beautiful, broad back and shoulders

-scratching him up

-”fuck you’re so pretty!”

-a super intense orgasm lets be serious

-both of you just lying next to each other after, his arm around you as you both stare at the ceiling.

-”i love you.”

-”i love you too Hemmings.”

-okay i just killed myself. sorry fam. i’m dead. i like need a second.

-waking up next to each other

-going for breakfast with Ashton and Calum the next morning and they’re both just grinning hard core. “where’s Michael?” “still sleeping, he’s the one who had a room next to yours last night.”

-so much hand holding

-long sweet kisses before you go on stage

-singing your love songs and having to fight the urge to look at Luke who’s watching you from side stage

-kissing him before it’s his turn to go on

-the band all making grossed out noises whenever you two kiss but you know they’re all soft for you and Luke

-Ashton sending you a bunch of pictures of you and Luke for “when you wanna make it official on the Gram.”

-you and Luke agreeing to each choose your favourite picture and post it at the same time without showing each other so it’s a surprise

-you both choose the same picture because you’re #that couple

-fans go wild. i mean, they knew, but its like official now

-interviewers everywhere want you to start doing interviews with the band because you’re their opener and you’re dating Luke?

-so many cute pictures of the two of you

-i love this concept. i mean. i love 5sos opener concepts but like, Luke is bae.

-Luke singing Valentine to you all the time

-he sings it while grabbing your face and kissing you

-lots of quickies wherever you can but it’s always amazing because you’re like so in love

-Michael refusing to sleep in the room next to yours when ya’ll get a hotel

-the boys switch each time

-you and Luke buying them ear plugs and then laughing your ass off about it

-Luke’s arm over your shoulders

-he’s very protective of you, especially in cities you’re visiting

-he buys you little presents from most of the cities you’re in

-chasing each other through arenas and venues

-yeah, if people hear giggles or screams they know it’s you and Luke messing around

-”have you seen Y/N?” “are the two of you playing sexy hide and seek again?” “no….”

-”how do you even play sexy hide and seek?” “trust me Cal, you don’t wanna know.”

-you and Luke getting so distracted before he goes on stage that sometimes Ashton has to like tear Luke away from you

-getting to help him take off those gorgeous on stage #looks

-just so soft fam. i am so soft.

[indigomez]

P.P Headcanon

Peter gets caught in the start of a mental breakdown.

A/n: sorry again if its shitty asf but I had to post it so:)

Taglist!!: @drakesfiance @whiny-the-poo-bear @underoos-shield @spidervveb @just4muggles @hollandxvoid @themarauderstheoutsidersandpeggy @twilightparker @ukulele-tea-and-ocean @harryshollands

Today, was Fucking Tough.

Work was shit

Everything wants going right for the past like

What?

Week?

Maybe even a month at this point who knows.

You and Pete have been dating for four years.

You two graduated high school eight months ago, so everything before this whole

My lifes falling apart LOL

But man, once you got home. You thought you'd get your episode out before Peter would get home.

But you moped, and shed a few tears but it wasn't coming out.

So, it was getting late. Peter's coming home soon. You decided just to have a glass ( whole ass bottle) of wine and started dinner.

You were almost finished as Peter came in. Through the damn door for once

"Hey baby! It smells great in here are we having steak- baby?" You leaned against the counter, your head hung from your shoulders.

Something wasn't right

"Babe?"

He walked up to you and was lowkey not prepared for the sigh he was gonna see.

You quickly hid your face in your hands.

He just watched you breakdown in front of him, before his very eyes his love was

breaking down

Falling apart...

He turned you around, his hands firmly on your shoulders with your face still hidden in your hands.

"Look at me love..."

You shook your head no.

"Look as me." He pulled your hands away, his heart physically shattering as he saw the tears fall from your eyes.

"No, no no- y/n? Please what's wrong?"

You did nothing but waddle into his arms,

Hiding your face in his chest as he held your waist.

"Bad day?" He uttered, "b-bad month... bad everything"

"Ohh baby..."

He scooped your frail body in his arms, you wrapped your arms around his neck as he carried you to the living room.

He sat you down on his lap on the couch.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

You sniffled, silently moving away from him while you wiped your tears.

He instantly noticed the empty wine bottles, beer and empty bins of ice cream and candies.

"I-just... everything is... is so hard I dont know if I'm living or just dying at this point." He nodded, holding your waist as he looked into your eyes.

"Did something happen?" You silently nodded, swallowing the large lump in your throat.

"Uh... I... I got fired, today... at work. So, I guess I'm a failure." But before he could say anything, you added.

"And... i.. I dont know I love you so much, but I'd hate.. to ruin everything, we have... "

"Babe what makes you think you'd ruin our relationship?" He tucked a loose strand over your ear, cupping your face as you leaned into his warm hand.

"We havent had sex in forever... because of work and all this stress is killing me..."

"Well, I can assure you. Babe that, Mr Stark is letting me off for a while. Which is odd but he took my suit for some updates, "

"But... what about your crime fighting?"

"Dont worry, babe I'm here with you, we can finally just."

He put his hands on your shoulders and pushed you onto his chest while he leaned back into the couch.

"Relax..."

You sighed, placing your head in the crook in of his neck.

"Are you sure everythings gonna work out Pete?"

"It has no choice but to work out, but you've been fighting for so long, your beating this dead horse... so, I'll order some take out, no more alcohol though and we watch some movies. Maybe take a bath? Cuddle in bed?"

You smiled, sniffling and wiping your remaining tears, you nodded.

"I'd love that Peter." He smiled, kissing your lips as he hummed. " I brought your favorite fruits..." he muttered, "the ones with chocolate and vanilla frosting on them?"

"And your favorite cheese and candies, but by looking at all these wrappers, we should hold the candy for another time." He chuckled, you laughed along.

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

Can We Dance? (Hoseok x You ONESHOT)

A/N: My first Jung Hoseok fic! Im so sorry for being super late with this request but... HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS SONG IS UNDER MY MOST PLAYED PLAYSLIST IN SPOTIFY? hehe. this is another one of my attempt at fluff, I hope you enjoy this! 💜

MASTERLIST

I know I don't know you, But I'd like to skip the small talk and romance, girl. That's all I have to say so, baby, can we dance?

"So... still havent found your balls to talk to her I see?"

Hoseok lick his lips, tasting the bitter taste of the alcohol he just gulped down and turned his head to the source of the mocking voice he knows oh so well. Who else other than his emotionless best friend, Min Yoongi of course.

"Shut up. I have two perfectly working balls and I would gladly show it to you if you want," he glared at his friend who just chuckle.

"No thank you. Already seen it and ler me tell you, I am not impressed," he take a swig of his drink and turned his gaze on the dancefloor, where Hoseok has been looking at ever since he entered this club for the after party. "You know... you are bordering stalkerish creepy right now, staring at her for hours and at every other parties too?" Yoongi softly told him as he looks at the girl who took his friend's attention dancing happily with her friends. "You are Jung Hoseok. The talented rapper from Bangtan, and the fact that she attended most of our after parties meant she already probably knows who you are Hobi. It wouldnt hurr to just talk to her for real. Just use that balls you are so proud of and ask her out,"

"I didnt say I want to ask her out. I just want to ask her to dance with me," Hoseok mumble making Yoongi rolls his eyes.

"Isnt that the same thing in your dictionary?" Hoseok kept quiet. There's some truth in what Yoongi is saying. Yoongi knows him the best out from the rest of Bangtan, meaning he also knows that Hoseok has a very weird way of finding his next 'soulmate' as he put it. He has to feel some kind of a chemistry when he dances with her. Other man may asks a girl out to get to know her better, but Hoseok is confident he can feel if they are right for each other just by dancing with the girl or watching the girl dance.

And he has been watching Y/N dance for a countless of times.

And everytime she did, his heart beats faster and faster, it almost burst out from his chest.

And he is aching to just dance with her... and finally get to know her for real.

"Come on Hobi. Man up. What do you got to lose, right?" Yoongi patted his back and walked off to the rest of the boys, swirling his drink, hoping for once, his best friend would take his advice.

Everything Yoongi. I will loose everything if she rejects me.

Here we go again, another drink I'm caving in, And stupid words keep falling from my mouth.

Y/N has managed to catch his attention from the first moment he saw her entering the club for one of their after parties months ago. His eyes followed her throughout the night and after subtly asking around, he found out that she is some kind of a VIP, a daughter of some rich conglomorate. She is not a fan, they told him, she's only here because of her friends, which explain why he never seen her at any of his concerts or fanmeets, but always around at the clubs and parties. He admit that her beauty is what caught his eyes at first but the way she danced and looking like she is having the greatest time of her life is what hooked him in.

Finally trying to take Yoongi advice and determined to atleast get close to her tonight, Hoseok made sure he finishes a few more glasses of whatever alcohol he could get his hands on, feeling the liquid courage making his adrenaline pumping.  He looks around and see his hyungs and Namjoon are settled in a corner booth while the three maknaes are goofing around on the dance floor by themselves.

Ah, he wished he is as carefree as those three childish maknaes, and not sweating his palms off with just the thought of going up and talking to her. He straighten the crease on his shirt and swiped his hair back, after deeming himself presentable enough, he makes his way to the dancefloor where Y/N is.

As he stumble within the first few steps that he took, he soon realized that maybe he took too much liquid courage, more than his nervous self can handle and there's nothing he can do to stop himself now when he is already directly standing in front of her. He cant turn back. He would look like a fool! He can hear the squeals coming from her friends at his presence.

This is a Bangtan party and a member of Bangtan is standing in front of them, of course they would squeal, Hoseok thought. But not her.

Y/N stopped dancing and looked at him, her head cocked to the side, confused as to what he is doing just standing there in front of her in the middle of the crowded dance floor.

"Yes? Can I help you? Do you need anything?" Her soft voice sounds like and angel to him and as he smile to himself he realized something.

Shit. She's talking to me!

"Hi. Y...Y/N," was all he could managed to mumble out and Hoseok feels like slapping himself. He never even talk or make direct eye contact with the girl before and the first word he said to her is her name? Stalker much Hoseok?

He can see Y/N's eyes widen in confusion as the rest of her girl friends giggling, shoving her closer to him before they suddey dissappeared to the other side of the dance floor.  What supportive friendsn Hoseok remind himself to thank them if they ever got together one day.

"You look hot... and extremely sexy when you dance," What the fuck did I just say?

Instead of getting angry or looking appaled, or thinking that he is some creepy pervert, Y/N tried to hide her smile from the obviously intoxicated man in front of her.

"Urmm... thank you?"

"You dance really well. I wish you would grind with me someday," the words came out almost as a slur from him but his wide eyes that is looking straight at her makes Y/N know that he is indeed talking to her.

"Huh?"

"Dance! I mean dance!" Hoseok quickly correct his words. Shit, what did he drink just now? And how much did he drink? Stupid words that he never knew he could even say are tumbling non stop from his mouth. Y/N laughs, a sound that seems like music to his ears. Even more when he is in his intoxicated self. Hoseok wants nothing more than a meteor to hit right now, just so he could be taken out from this embarassing misery.

You know that I mean well, My hands were meant for somewhere else.

However, Hoseok takes her laughter as a sign to proceed and gets closer to her. He puts his arms around her waist and starts to sway their body slowly to the music, carefully looking at her, gauging for a reaction. Y/N just smile and placed her hands on his shoulder, deciding maybe she should give this drunk male a chance. He doesnt look like a pervert... more like a dork? An extremely cute dork.

"Are you sure you are capable to dance right now?" She laughs. Hoseok cant focus on anything else other than the close proximity of their faces. He studied every curve of her face, her nose, her lips, the way her eyelashes touch her cheeks when she closes her eyes... and her scent. God, its more intoxicating than the alcohol he has been consuming. Hoseok cant believe he is holding her right now. That she is actually smiling at him. Without realizing his hands starts to roam around her body, slowly carresiong her sides seductively and occasionally moving lower and lower, right againts her ass as he grinds himself on her.

"Urm..." Y/N moved her hand that is on his shoulders and grab his arms that is encircling her, all the while pushing him nack a little to stop him from continuing to grind on her.  "I dont think we are that close yet,"

Hoseok try to understand what Y/N is probably talking about, but with the mixture of alcohol in his body and the still unreal feeling of being this close to her, his mind is clouded and dizzy, not being able to digest anything that's really happening around him.

"What do you mean?"

"Urm..."

"Oh for fucks sake," Hoseok felt his hands that is encircling Y/N's waist, or more specific, carressing and roaming her entire body like some starving man gets pulled away by none other than Min Yoongi.

"Hey Yoongs! What are-"

"I'm sorry. He is not a good drunk. He  cant handle alcohol well. But you know he meant well right? He's a sweet guy when he's sober. Really," Yoongi cut him off and look straight at Y/N.

"Yes. Yes. Dont worry. He didnt do anything too bad. But I think you should bring him back now. He needs to rest," Y/N giggled before turning around and walk away to find her friends.

Yoongi dragged Hoseok across the floor to their private booth where the other members are already seated and laughing like crazy, fully witnessing what just happened.

"I was finally talking to Y/N Yoongs! As per your advice! Why did you drag me away?" He grumbled as he sat down, looking around bewildered, still not understanding why the others are laughing.

"I told you to talk to her. Oh I dont know, maybe properly ask her to dance or buy her a drink or something. Not grope and grind on her like some horny teenager who just hit puberty in a strip club!" Yoongi snarled.

"Huh?" Hoseok is throughly confused to what Yoongi is saying. Did he really do that?

"Hyung is so wasted he dont even know what he did!" Jimin was laughing like crazy, his hands slapping Taehyung's thigh who is seating besides him who is also laughing like crazy, holding his stomach.

"Why did you get so drunk for anyway?" Jin questioned as the realization hits Hoseok. He remembered that he only hold her waist... right? Did he do something more? To the point Yoongi has to come out and drag him away?

"Shit. I need another drink,"

Oh, oh, one more drink and I should go, Oh, oh, but maybe she might like me though. Oh, oh, I just can't think of what to say, Should I go, should I stay? Just can't let her slip away.

"I think you have had enough Hobi," Namjoon give a small warning, giving his friend a little pat in the back.its rare to see Hoseok gets drunk, especially during a party. And what just happened is exactly the reason why.

"Nope. Really need this one. Just one more and maybe I should just head back," he mumbled as the waitress placed a few fresh bottles and mixtures in a glass on their table.

"Are you sure hyung? She's still here," Jungkook points to the far end of the club where Y/N is sitting down in a corner table laughing with her friends. "She looks like she's having a hard time, doesnt seem angry or traumatized to me. Maybe she liked what you did just now," Jungkook winked at Hoseok while making a provocative grinding move, intending to copy what Hoseok did earlier, making Jin frowned.

"I really dont want to hear you talking about all the nasty things your hyungs do Kook. Im not ready for you to grow up," Seokjin grumbled and down his whole cup making the whole table laughs, except for Hoseok who is still eyeing Y/N's table.

"I dont know what to do. Should I go and try again? Or should I just go home and forgot this whole night ever happen? She seems to like me though. Doesnt she? What do you think? She was laughing and smiling the whole time I was talking to her right?" He rambled on, eyes drifting from one member to the other, asking for answers.

"Its really up to you Hobi. If you want to talk to her, she's right there. If you dont plan to, lets all just go. I'm hungry," Jin grumble, laying out the choices for him.

"I really want to talk to her again. To make sure she knows I'm not some drunk pervert," he lowered his gaze to his lap. "But I wont know what to say when I'm standing in front of her. I will just act stupid again,"

"That... I'm sure you will do," Yoongi agreed without hesitation. Hoseok glared at his friend who is definitely not helping his nerves right now.

"What should I do guys. Should I leave? Should I stay? Urghhh," Hoseok wailed out loudly as he continues to stare at Y/N. "I really dont want her to slipped away..." he added softly. The table turn quiet as they realized how serious Hoseok's feelings towards Y/N are. They all know he has been checking her out for month, but no one other than Yoongi knows how severe his feelings are for her. But there is nothing they can do for him, really.

"I really like her though..."

I talk a lot of shit when I'm drinking, baby, I'm known to go a little too fast. Don't mind all my friends, I know they're all crazy, But they're the only friends that I have.

After a few minutes of contemplating, Hoseok finally decides to just leave the club. He is never going to find the courage to ever face her again tonight anyway. And he definitely needs to sober up right now. No more stupid drunk mistakes.

Just like Jin had suggested, the boys asks their manager to stop at a restaurant as they are all starving. Partying was never really their scene anyway. They always prefer laughter with each other paired with bottomless good food at their comfort restaurants. Hoseok is finally sober enough now for coherent conversations and as they are busy stuffing their faces and laughing over Jin's lame jokes, Taehyung elbowed him in the ribs.

"Ouch. What the hell Tae?!"

"Look," he points towards the door and Hoseok's heart almost stop beating as he saw Y/N and few of her friends, lesser than the group she hangs out with in the club, entering.

"Oh fuck," Yoongi cursed under his breath as all seven boys looks at the door. "This is really fate Hobi,"

All seven of them duck their heads, and since they were seated at the back corner, its impossible for Y/N or her friends to see them once they sat down, which is a relieve for Hoseok still unsure about his next move.

"Shit. What should I do? Should I try again? Or should I just ignore her?" Hoseok is panicking and sweating, making the rest of the boys quietly smile and laughing at his disheveled state. He is always the mood maker, the happy one. Its weird to see him in constant panic and rambling to himself like this.

"I think you should talk to her. You are all sober now. She can finally see how much of asunshine you are this time," Namjoon suggested.

"But I dont know if I can do it sober though..."

"Of course you can hyung. Just think of it as... performing. As if you are dancing in front of millions of people!" Jimin smile at him, giving him the encouragement he needs. Jimin knows as much as he do how dancing is always able to calm him down. He smile at the younger boy and close his eyes, trying to calm himself.

"Okay. I'm going to do it. I'm going to wait until she finish eating and I'mq going to do it. I will find out once and for all if she likes me back or not," Hoseok finally state with utter determination.

"That's the Jung Hoseok we all know and love!" They shouted and whistle happily.

After about 30 minutes of the most nerve wrecking dinner he has ever had, he saw Y/N and her friends stood up and making their way out after paying and bowing to the cashier.

"Lets go guys. Lets get Hobi her girl!" Jin excitedly pump his fist as he stood up.

"Really hyung?" Yoongi rolled his eyes.

"Well, excuse me for being a supportive hyung!"

They start to bicker, throwing comments back and forth as they walked out, not realizing they are already outside of the restaurant, stsnding in the cold walkway where Y/N and her group is also there, eyes already looking at them because of the noise.

"Shut up guys!" Hoseok said through gritted teeth and motioned towards the group of girls who looks surprised in front of them. Who would have thought they would meet the whole of Bangtan in the middle of the empty walkway on this cold night.

"Hi... 1.2...We are Bangtan!" Namjoon suddenly said and Hoseok face palmed himself. He definitely feel like jumping into a black hole and dissappear when the three maknaes followed the leader, bowing at the cue, impulsively doing their official greeting.

"What the fuck are you doing Joon? Now she will think we are weird!" Hoseok hissed at his friend who is standing beside him.

"Im sorry. I panicked okay. We are all just standing here looking at one another not saying anything. I should at least greet them!" Namjoon defended himself, all the while both their eyes are on Y/N and a smile plastered on their faces.

"Yah! You could just say hello like a normal person!" Hoseok hissed back.

"Urm.. guys? We can actually hear you..." Y/N interrupted their conversation, smiling while her friends are giggling like there's no tomorrow. Hoseok shoved Namjoon away, taking a few steps foward toward her and smile.

"Urh hi,"

"Hi. Urm. You are the drunk guy," she points at him making him nodded shyly. "I dont know if I should introduced my self, I think you already know who I am but still, I'm Y/N," Y/N feels obligated to introduced herself since the boys had so nicely did their introduction to them earlier. "We dont have a group. Sorry, no fancy introductions from us. By the way, that was a nice way to introduce yourselves," she teased and waved behind Hoseok's shoulder, acknowleding the other members.

"Thank you," Hoseok nodded sheepishly before he close his eyes in embarassment to hear a chorus of "Hiii Y/N" and excited giggles behind him. He can also hear faint questions such as 'Are you going to be Hobi-hyunf's girlfriend?' which followed with a smack and a 'shut up'. He turned his head slowly to see his six brothers grinning and waving back like crazy to Y/N.

God, why are they doing this to him? Is embarassing a fellow brother in front of their crush a life mission for them?

"Please guys, shut up and behave!" He hissed between gritted teeth, hoping Y/N wont hear him but he guess she did since her laugh got louder.

"I'm sorry for theit... strange behaviour, " Hoseok bowed apologically. "They are not normal. Most of the time crazy and unwell, but I am proud to day that they are my friends. And-"

"And you love them," Y/N finishes for him with a smile. Hoseok smile softly at her, happy that she understands and being extremely okay with it. He can already see getting along well with his brothers in the future.

"Its okay. I understand. My friends are not normal either," she motioned to the group of girls behind her who is still giggling and teasing them as if they were not there. "But what can I say, they are the only friends that I got,"

"That's great then. We already have a similarity!" Hoseok tried to joke to ease the tension but the road fell quiet. His eyes flickered behind Y/N and noticed that her friends has slowly walked away, as their effort to leave them alone and he glanced over his shoulder, hoping his brothers would do the same.

But of course, being oblivious and shameless as they are, all six are still there, now sitting too comfortably on the sidewalk, with Taehyung and Jungkook obviously trying to listen it. Hoseok huffed and turned back to Y/N. It doesnt matter if his brothers gives him privacy or not, he's going to talk to Y/N properly tonight and no one is going to stop him.

"Listen... Im sorry for what happened earlier in the club. I didnt mean to do that. I was drunk," Hoseok finally managed to get the words out. He felt better seeing Y/N is still smiling and standing there, not showing any signs of running away like he expect her to. Could it be that she likes him too?

"Its okay. Its pretty obvious you were drunk. Do you feel better now?" She asks and touch his arm in a friendly manner, which only send tingles through his whole body. Hoseok cleared his throat and try to focus on the conversation.

"Yeah. I feel a lot better after eating. But what I did is not okay. I dont want you to think of me as a drunk pervert. I'm normal I swear," he raised his hand in a swearing motion. "Its just that... I start to do and say weird things when I start drinking. I am not a good drinker. And I'm really sorry," he smile at her. The same bright smile that Y/N usually see on TV or images that her friends will show her.

The smile that she dont know how or why, makes her heart beats faster in her chest.

I was nearly in, but then came the pushy friend, Killed the vibe and took my perfect ten away.

"Its okay. Really. I forgive you,"

"Thank you Y/N," Hoseok replied quietly and the walkway become silent again. After a few awkward moment of just staring at each other Y/N finally speaks up.

"Well, then... if that's all you have to say... then I better get going," she bowed and start to walk away.

"Wait!" Hoseok grab ber hand and immediately lets go when she turns and look at the arm that's holding her. "Sorry... but would you like to-"

"Y/N! Hurry up!" His words were cut of by her friends who suddenly showed up from the corner, looking cold and tired as they waited for her.

"A moment!" She shouted back. "You were saying?" She turned back to Hoseok, hoping and wishing the male would finish asking whatever it is that he wanted to ask.

"I was about to ask you-"

"Seriously Y/N. We need to go. Han Mi really need to find a restroom!" The friend who was shouting for her just a while ago came over and pulled her hand, giving her no choice but to forcefully go with them. She gives him an apologetic smile and bowed her head a little to Hoseok, leaving hin standing there speechless and dissapointed at what just happened.

"Damn, what a cockblocker!" Jungkook makes his way beside Hoseok who is still confused over how rapid things are happening tonight.

"Language Kook!" Jin snarled from the back.

"Sorry hyung," Jungkook scratched his neck sheepishly.

"But Kook's right though. What a cockblocker! Cant she sense the vibe that's happening here?" Yoongi chimed in. "Too bad Hobi. Maybe next time? At least you have successfully talked to her tonight," he patted Hoseok's shoulder, trying to comfort his sad friend.

"Yeah... maybe,"

"Okay kids. Lets go home," Jin ushered them all towards the van that is parked across the road. "Hobi? You coming?"

Hoseok turns towards his brothers who are huddled together in the cold, waiting for him. After a moment he smile.

"No hyung. All of you can go ahead,"

"Where are you going?"

"Im going to do it tonight. Im going to get my girl tonight," he hastily replied before running off into the direction Y/N was hauled into, leaving the six boys surprised but with smiles on their faces.

You know I need you, girl, My heart's not made for someone else. So save me here 'cause I can barely stand. Should I stay? Should I go? It just can lead back to her door.

"Y/N!" After about 15 minutes of non stop running he finally saw her, walking slowly... and alone. Y/N turned around, shocked to find a breathless and panting idol calling her name.

"What... what are you doing here? How did you find me?"

"Isnt it obvious? I ran here," he laughs between taking long deep breath. Y/N rolled her eyes but still smiling at him.

"Thats not what I meant. Why are you here?"

"Wait, where's your friends?" Hoseok looks around to find there is no one else in sight.

"We go separate ways from that corner. My house is that way," she motioned down the street.

"Do you usually walk home? Dont you know its dangerous to walk alone at night?" He frowned, worried for her safety. Its past midnight and the streets are empty. How is she walking alone?

"I know. But I dont usually walk. I send my driver off since I wanted to get some fresh air tonight. My house is not that far from here. Dont worry," she giggled as she finds it amusing how a stranger is worried for her.

"But really, why are you here?" She cocked her head to side as she looks at him, confused.

"Y/N..." Hoseok finally found the courage he needs after all these months of watching her and took her hand in his, rubbing small circle on her soft skin. He is going to do it. He is going to say it. "I think you already know...  but I want to make it clear to you tonight. I... I like you,"

Y/N's eyes widen at his confession. How? When? Why? How?

"But... we dont know each other. You... you dont know me. How can you like me?"

"I know this sounds weird. And I swear I'm not creepy," he laughs. "But I have been watching you since the first time you came into one of our after parties. And I was hooked," he looks straight into her eyes now, he himself surprised by his own confidence. "I saw the way you dance and from that moment I know I need to get to know you. I just know there's something about you Y/N, somethinf that attracts me to you badly. I know you probably wont believe me, and its way too early to say this when we just talk for the first time today, but I think my heart is made for you," his words came out so soft as he continues to stare into her puzzled eyes. "I'm not forcing you into anything. I understand all this sudden and surprising... but I just want to ask you to give me a chance to get to know you," Hoseok held his breath once he finishes, nervously waiting for her answer. It probably took her only a few moments but it feels like a million years to Hoseok.

"May I... Y/N? Get to know you?"

Hoseok felt her hand that he's holding suddenly gripping his back, making him look up from their entertwined hands to her smiling face, which is now nodding softly.

"Want to walk me home?"

I know I don't know you, But I'd like to skip the small talk and romance, girl. That's all I have to say so, baby, can we dance?

"This is me," Y/N stopped in front of a mansion, making Hoseok's mouth fell wide open. When people told him that she's a daughter from a wealthy family, he didnt think her family is this wealthy.

"Let me walk you inside," he motioned for her to go in as the automatic huge brass gate opens. Hoseok was amazed once more when he saw the magnificent water fountain near the front door. The lights decorating the fountain shoned lightly, making Hoseok's heart beats faster than it ever did the whole night as it illuminates Y/N's face softly.

Hoseok has been looking at her for months now, but to him, Y/N has never looked more beautiful than she is tonight, in this moment as she stands in front of the fountain smiling shyly at him who has gone quiet as he stares openly at her. Her long hair softly falling over shoulder, her long eyelashes that touches her cheeks when she closes her eyes, the way her eyes lit up when she smile, the sound of her laughter, everything about her is just ethreal.

Hoseok has no doubt that he has fallen in love hard with this girl in front of him. He dont need to get to know her to be sure of that fact. His heart already recognize her as his. And as he smile softly at her and she looks back at him, eyes wide and sparkling, both hearing the same music that's beating softly from their heart, Hoseok knows there is only one thing left for him to do.

"Y/N, may I have this dance?"

[timjohns3rd]

My life

I am posting this here...just to get it out... not sure if I will show anyone especially Nikki cause I dont want her to think I am influencing things with her too..I just want her to see what I can do with my life and making things for the better... I know you said you thought I started grasping when you started talking to Katie..wasnt the thought...I kept all year...but Branson put me in a good frame of mind... hence why I was more like before..

I know I havent helped out like I should have and know how to...depression and the struggle just kept beating at me...especially when I was actively looking and going out trying to work... only to be knocked down where life kept saying “hold my drink” I hate my fears... I have tried to face different ones to be told they are staying...like with you...to a point..I fought to stay with Shannon...even when I wasnt happy...because also how I was raised...but that...along with my mom passing brought out the depression bad...then Tessa came in my life...and we got together...she helped me get stuff to file for divorce...was my best friend... and got engaged...things seemed good then bam she left...with not even a clue or sign...for the guy she is with now..and I was at the top of my game before she left...and hit hard low..... then family came in to help...my sister and her kids...then we know what happened with that...again when I move out then bam...no replies to messages..etc...then more alone..at this time shannon and her family helped (being nicer now than when I was a part of it)... I stayed alone...some with hope of Tessa or others..but most of the time...because of my fear...then I started talking to Samantha...I met her in a FB group...I went into this different but went in strong some...we had the 2 dates...I started getting close to her daughter on the second one... then bam....was told I reminded her of her father (keep in mind...we were close in age some)...only to see she got with someone that looked alot older..cause I was a gentleman...how I was raised...so her ...along with Tessa...made me feel like I shouldnt be myself either...some people like Nick...Karen...Ruby always tried to make me be myself more or feel better being myself...so I worked hard on being myself..starting to collect again (which the storage incident made me fear that...but trying to be myself and be happy)...I was building my life...etc... got on my feet more...got the car, etc...but at the risk of my mental and physical health...because a friend that I owed alot to...used me and abused me..at least mentally...  then Stephanie happened...met her at the bar..etc..at first she was shy and everything..but had a wild side I soon found out...but private as well...didnt want me to post stuff on FB, etc..or change status...etc... her excuse was to make sure a person who had feelings for her didnt get hurt but kept making me feel ok...but bad about when I had issues not finishing..etc..she left for a week cause she needed time away...according to her..stress from work..etc...she kept in touch..etc...and kinda hinted that the girl there she would play with maybe...while we did the stuff before...only with agreements..etc...I trusted her...but decided to snoop...and found out she was doing more than that...etc..and I felt betrayed but at the same time being made to feel bad..like going on the cruise with friends.. I was done trying...and wasnt looking THEN...I found you... we had a mutual friend (or 20)...alot of common interests...etc... a heart of gold...beautiful smile...a strong ass sex drive...a family ... but it scared me..as you had everything I wanted...but I was scared like what are you going to do to leave me...I snooped as did you...and I never found anything wrong...you stood by me when I was at my lowest...and it made me scared...I got close to your kids...and it made me scared...  one of the reasons (and the only reason) I kept saying “if anything happens to us”... because I expected it (tho stopped after awhile)...when you was pushing away (which I dont blame you)... I got more scared... when I went out and tried to work or look for others...and failed at that then.. It made me more scared... when I couldnt perform I was afraid...when I lost interest in anything sexual..it fucked things up.... plus the other side of that is i never wanted you to think I was using you for sex...or other things.... I sat up at times wondering when the shoe was going to drop...because you were so good..but yet pushing me away... when you went to the Lake of the Ozarks... I wasnt stressed about it...but wondered and worried if it was going to be another situation...it wasnt that I didnt trust you...I expected it..I felt the resentment...but never realized it...Branson was when I was relaxed and happy...was on a family vacation...felt better...and was actively trying more...it had nothing to do with Katie...cause I was realizing you were not going to do what I kept expecting...but then it almost was too late.. which also I felt nervous that saturday...again...for the same reasons...when I saw you coming home I felt a little better... I hate some of my faults...such as my motivation (a lot of my past from exes, family...and work...was designed to kill that in me)... my health issues... wanting to do things on my own without meds (for the reason of wanting to feel stronger and accomplish something)..and just the fears...all of that beat me up so much that it affected us...myself...you... I do always want to do better..and be better..but alot of that gets kicked when around...I wish you could have seen me before...when I was growing up...and the few years before we met how I worked...or how happy I was... since I have met you...your kids...our kid... I have been happy and afraid to accept it..and I know I gotta work on me to learn to accept it...its not just for us...its for me...as I need alot of work... I just know it is better with you by my side.. Trust be told and i have said this many time...I think you are the sweetest, prettiest woman to give me a chance..I didnt go in expecting to find anyone or love...and I did...I remember alot of how we talked...when we met...etc (just not the dates but thats part of my memory issue)...and I can remember where pics are from...or what was going on then...etc...I finally am also getting this out without tears....and staying strong...which is a good start too...cause Im trying to stay positive...and be better Nicole Lee Link...I love you...from the bottom of my heart...and always will...even when my dingaling has issues...my heart...never did...and i hope I can fix myself... and win you back over...and have you see you thru my eyes..etc..

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

no dont apologise! i didnt check until just then so np :)

mmm yeah it is a bit trippy. hehe ITS TRUE THO. yeah sadly i think ur right, and tag blocking is probably a good idea. sometimes smut written well or not in excess is okay but goddamn when its abt 01 line and thats the whole fic... *silently blocks tags*

hehe i do that all the time lol this conversation is carrying on threads from a month ago :) mmm yeah ur probably right sadly, same. HA HE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE and now i have someone to talk to abt them, so thats good! I KNOW felix was actually the one who got me into skz with his iconique gods menu line so i guess i have a soft spot for him. i always tell myself my bias is chan but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ guess im more whipped than id like to admit. mmm yeah that does make sense dw i hope they do that as well. YES king seungmin hIMSELF. GODDAMNIT DONT GET ME STARTED ON MINHO IN GODS MENU I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS PART OF THE GROUP UNTIL I STARTED GETTING MORE INTO THEM. BITCH (affectionate) THE LINE DISTRIBUTION HAS BEEN UTTER DOG SHIT but *deep breath* its better now so were moving on adn hoping it stays that way. sis same but i may or may not have gone thru a rlly depressed phase and actively sought out the elimination episodes so i could actually force some tears out of my emotionless shell of a heart but what cna you do? lmaoo i feel that irl, binnie deserves more vocal lines. yesss channies accent is rlly prominent then, i think also the way he structures his phrasing? is more english speaking than korean? but yeah i totally get what ur saying. AJKSAL lmao

okay then! im excited for whenever it gets done! (maybe tag me?) ahh the cold shrivelled heart of a dark au writer beats again at the thought of torturing another poor characters very soul (/j) :(( yeah that would suck not being able to see them. ohhh ur on the other hemisphere to me! were just going into spring rn. mmm smth to look forward to! YES you put it into words. they rlly are pretty independent from the company (remember how jyp rejected that other dudes songs after like 3 seconds and then how he was apparently nervous to show the song hed written to chan cos chan was so good at writing hits ahhh sweet revenge) mmmYES we rlly need a mute and remove notifications button for our brains dont we?

YES CORRECT i totally agree. some people jsut dont give it a try, adn assume its bad cos its korean smh racist assholes. yes! im coming up to my 6 month anniv actually! sis sAME, i feel like theyre being tugged into appealing to the western american market and theyre not staying as true to their artistic flair as a group, especially with only writing english songs atm. *sigh* ah well, at least theyre bringing recognition to the kpop world. AHUH dead on, theyre going to be discarded pretty soon and then where will bp be? theyll prob go solo paths which is rlly sad but what can you do when the company is run by a prideful asshole? yg is not going to last much longer in the big four if they keep this up.

hehe you get it. oooh very cool! whos ur ult? (sorry if youve said this before) mmmm yeah good decision, i feel liek thats probably a wise decision. this is my first album release as a kpop stan (not counting mixtape oh) so i think ill get it for sentiments sake. yeah! im excited for the new music! mingi was the one who got me into them, but atm my bias is seonghwa followed by san, wooyoung and ateez but jonghos high notes man *swoon* he, yeah atm ive got jake, jay, nikki, jungwon and sunoo down so just trying to get the rest :) heh, yeah kard i rlly only got into cos of bm, ive seen him like interacting with a lot of idols and he seemed nice so i decided to check out the group. ikr gunshot man *another swoon*

no noe! i didnt know what it was until i got it lol. thx toffee ill try and take that to mind :) yeah lol im on a waiting list thats not going to be free until late september so hopefully i can hold on until then. hope ur okay, that sounds like it sucks, hope you can find someone. maybe ill just take you along on my phone and the therapist can get a two for one patient deal lmaooo. mmm, sorry no i havent mentioned it before, i dont rlly talk abt it much. uhhh basically hypermobility? if you google it, it doesnt seem bad, jsut joint flexibility but ive got the severe end of the stick, leaning towards ehlers danlos syndrome so thats fun. basically it just makes it hard for me to exercise, run, jump, stand or just walk for long periods of time and gives me a lot of joint and muscle pain so... thats fun! but obviously so many other people have it worse than me, so i try not to complain. normally in young people it will improve as they get older, but my doctor said bc its severe in me, its unlikely to get much better. but again, i dont have the worst lot in the bunch, so its all g.

oh its good that its not the bad type of rain, a light sprinkling can be relaxing sometimes. aww thx darl, the concern is appreciated but it went pretty well and i managed not to cough too much on stage or kill myself trying to run around to the other side of the stage in the pouring rain so thats good! oooh tea buddies! my dogs a labradoodle, but shes a bit more of a feral poodle lol not much labrador in her at all, unless its her relentless urge to hunt down every bird that has ever walked this earth smh :((( hopefully they can come back on soon, does uni have dances?

ahhh a mood if i ever heard one. hopefully things will get better for you soon, ik anxiety sucks ass. ooh thats always good! when its sunny here, its always melt ur thongs to the pavement hot so the nicely cool sunny days are a lovely change. hehe impatience is not so good for you, but good for us that get to see ur beautiful theme early. ahh no worries, itll come eventually hopefully. and if not, then just things that make you not anxious are good. it doesnt have to be black or white, sometimes gray is good. mmmmm sames i have midterms this week to catch up on and then two weeks of end of terms so thats fun! i hope u can overcome that a little, heres some channie to be ur motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8LWyNjzOww. hah! i hear that all the time, he seems to be everywhere. did you see that tiktok of hans slowed back door rap, i stg it sounded EXACTLY like namjoon, it kinda scared me. also teh beginning of another day, sounds so much like joon i swear.

that reminds me! idk ur biases! i feel like this should be smth i should know so please! feel free to elaborate!

ahh im glad, i was worried it is. mmm same, so no hard feelings if either of us misses a day or smth. ill start worrying if weeks/months have gone by, but if its just a little while thats more than fine. ill just picture you studiously completing notes and i wont worry lol

<3 w.a. 🐺

at some point i really think i'm going to start blocking accounts because blocking tags won't be enough. i saw ask tags the other day and it just made me want to bleach my eyeballs.

i could talk about god's menu felix for hours man. the teaser for god's menu that featured his part on the bridge made me look forward to the mv release. you: biases chan, also you: lixiesbabyhands. yes you are more whipped than you think. i can't believe orange haired minho was given NOTHING during that era but they kind of made up for it in the b-sides. i also hope it stays that way. the distribution for this era was pretty fair.

"torturing another poor character's soul" in all honesty, i used to live for this. 2017 me leading up to early 2020 wrote nothing but angst. i have another aussie friend on twt and tbh i'm still really (O.o) about the seasons! jyp should be terrified skz could easily take over that company. heck if skz grow old and start their own company, they'd probably do a great job at running it. PLEASE. i have issues on muting/notifications both mentally and in real life. sometimes, i just wish to disappear.

some people in my country are just disgusting tbh. not only racist but homophobic too. they label kpop as 'gay' and it DISGUSTS me. it's a problematic behavior/mindset people in my country need to fucking get rid of. anyway, HELP ME 6 MONTHS??? and i've been in this shit for like a decade eye. tbh, i’m not fond of kpop groups trying to appeal to the western audience :// it feels like they’re losing their identity in a way. yes recognition but at what cost? yg has my favorite groups but that’s one shitty company when it comes to promoting.

okay my ult! it’s haechan from nct but i consider chan an ult too. like a close second above my whopping list of kpop boys. oh yes! you should get the album just for like a keepsake? remembrance? how did mingi appeal to you? omg did you start getting interested in ateez back when he was still on hiatus? NOT YOU BIASING THE SAME PEOPLE I DID WHEN I FIRST STARTED STANNING. the infamous ateez thot-line. jongho is easily one of the best fourth gen vocalists out here, no one can change my mind :( good luck with memorizing the rest of enhypen! just in time for the comeback too. i hope i’ll get into kard soon but i’m pretty content (and a tad bit overwhelmed) with the amount of groups i stan right now.

please hold on though, feel free to vent here if you like. thanks for the offer tho HAHA but like i’ll try to get checked here too when the cases die down a bit. i’m sorry to hear about your condition though :( please don’t ever overwork yourself to the point that your joints/muscles would ache. it’s completely valid to complain about it tho. i get that you have others in mind but keeping that mindset really doesn’t do you (like you internally) any better? so if you need to, vent your frustrations out and don’t keep it in.

oh my god, about your performance last sunday. was the stage out in the open? glad you didn’t cough too much and did well on your concert. i’m proud of you! i can never understand dogs and poor birds T_T uni doesn’t have dances unfortunately. i think there’s just one party at the end like a graduation ball. what year are you in anyway? if it’s something that you’re fine with sharing. if not, it’s cool.

good luck with your exams! and thanks for the link! AHA what a cutie. i think he does this motivation thing once in a while during his lives and it’s just comforting. yeah joon and han my irl just freaked when we made that discovery. ult crumbs for her. oh god not me forgetting about every biases when you asked. you can ask for my biases in a few groups just list down the one’s you’re interested in knowing. 

i missed yesterday because i was grinding and finishing what if we stay + school work. finally did it today. i’m sure i’ll reply in like a day or two, definitely not a month unless i state otherwise. if i ever decide to abandon this blog, i’ll let you know.

[happylittleroleplays]

One Tree Hill Sentence Starters: Episode 2

“You shoot this one, lets see what you’ve got.”

“Come on let’s move.”

“Time to go, baby.”

“You don’t gotta come.”

“We’re going.”

“I think you’re making a mistake.”

“You’ll be fine.”

“We’re media!”

“You want my world? You got it.”

“He looks good from behind”

“Destiny has a way of finding you.”

“Nice hands”

“Nice legs.”

“Hey who’s side are you on?’

“Start taking notes, punk.”

“Do you like this guy or something?”

“Do you ever think I might wanna talk?”

“Oh come on, I was joking.”

“Have a nice walk home.”

“Is he okay?”

“You should have been there.”

“I thought you supported this.”

“I should have been there.”

“I Thought I was over it. I really did.”

“I cant go back there.”

“That place knows too much.”

“I guess misery really does love company.”

“Im not here. I was never here.”

“Thats just the way it is.”

“So, You’ve clearly come to cheer me up.”

“Go to sleep, you look winded.”

“Do you mind if I mind if I ask you a question?

Why’d you decide to do it?”

“You dont exactly fit in here, do you?”

“It’s all a big game.”

“I want to know if I’m good.”

“If you ask me, we all just wasted a perfectly good evening.”

“Why do you do it?”

“Do you really like it or not?”

“If I say I hate it, I’m either a liar or a fraud.”

“Either way I lose.”

“Do you wanna come in?”

“I didn’t invite you in. I just asked if you wanted to.”

“I looked for you.”

“I’m sorry I missed it.”

“I shouldn’t take it out on you, I know that.”

“I haven’t been very good to you lately. I just wanted to say I’m sorry”

“Say its okay so that when I see you tomorrow we can start being us again.”

“I’d stand up but everytime I do someone kicks me in the ass.”

“I thought maybe you were different”

“I stuck my neck out for you!”

“Damn it, I trusted you!’

“I shouldn’t have hit him, you’re right”

“Damn right, I’m right.”

“I didn’t run away!

“He might have beaten your ass.”

“What do any of us know about anything?”

“Any side effect from your amnesia?”

“You must have amnesia because I know you would have told me that you got in a fight today.”

“You ever wake up from a dream and try to get back to sleep?”

“I just want things to go back to the way they were.”

“We love you anyway.”

“Do you ever look past it?”

“I think about the future sometimes and it scares me.”

“I know that, I just didn’t think you did.”

“You’ve gotta shake it off.”

“What if I can’t do this?”

“I don’t fit into their world and I never will”

“I haven’t talked to her about it.”

“She’s going through this thing too.”

“Its a rule of life. The prettier the girl, The messier the car.”

“I wasn’t looking”

“This is personal”

“P.S. Stay out of my stuff.”

“What’s this I hear about a fight?”

“He’s hitting on my girlfriend!”

“If youre going to get in a fight, get in a fight over something important!”

“Did you get hurt?”

“So are you you gonna tell me about the fight or do you want to just assume I know about it while i yell at you?”

‘He had it coming.”

“Fighting in class? Fighting AT ALL?

“The guy was being a jerk.”

“He hasn’t been a jerk before?”

“He’s always a jerk.”

“Why go down to his level?”

“How would you know? you weren’t even there.”

“How’d you sleep?”

“I had a really bad dream where I was a jackass.”

“I should have told you the truth about why I couldn’t be there.”

“I dont regret one second of one day with you”

“I’m sorry that you have to hear things like that.”

“I don’t wanna lie to you either.”

“Let him humiliate himself.”

“Im the one who got us there. Not him. Not his system.”

“I know we havent had a chance to talk much.”

“I kinda wanted to stay out of your way.”

“Fear changes everything”

“I always wondered about it.”

“What happens when its gone?”

“Ive never seen anyone lose it. Like really lose it.”

“Prove me wrong.”

“I dont have to prove anything to you”

“I was looking forward to taking you down slowly.”

“Hell, whats the point?”

“You already know its over”

“We both know youre not gonna be there.”

“Why humiliate yourself?”

“You missed again.”

“What are you–stalking me?

“I wouldn’t know anything about it”

“It’s not good enough”

“We have something to believe in again.”

“People who value their lives usually knock first.”

“You can let it go.”

“You’re destroying kids lives left and right.”

“The rest is up to you.”

“There’s no shame in being afraid.”

“Hell we’re all afraid.”

“Figure out what you’re afraid of. When you put a face on it, you can beat it.”

“I’m never good enough for my dad.”

“Did you ever figure out your porn name?”

“I’ve never walked away from anything before”

“I can’t do it, but even worse, I don’t know why I cant do it.”

“In a lot of ways, it’s who I am.”

“I hear you (Name). But I know you”

“I know that no matter what happens you’re still gonna be the same guy you always were.”

“I didn’t want to see his face.”

“I didn’t want to be like him.”

“I felt like he had a piece of me.”

“He’s taken enough from us.”

“It’s hard to fight the things we’re afraid of. Sometimes we just need a little help.”

“I was starting to think you weren’t gonna show.”

[eludum-a]

(scheduled to post this around noon on thursday my time.)

as we head into this (american) thanksgiving, a lot of us are gonna be dealing with some Grade A Bullshit: retail work, bigoted relatives, etc. i wasn’t actually gonna do this originally, but then i realized what holiday was coming up right around the time of my blogiversary and i was like... welp. alright. guess we’re doing this then. things lined up too perfectly NOT to, and things can be kinda shitty for people around this time of year, so let’s put a little positivity back into the community! or something like that.

(yes i realize some of the people here are not american. no reason to deny my love tho.)

anyway, onto the callouts!

@ultimatetalentless have i talked about how much i love sin’s hinut lately? his and nanami’s friendship/rivalry (and his and chibot’s unresolved romantic tension) is so much fun to write and it’s so great having an Angst Partner to shoot terrible ideas at. on top of that i love talking to sin out of character and sharing some of the things we come across that remind each other of our muses. 

@mideoku​ julie followed me and the following day, snakes started manifesting physically in my house. i get no peace from them. they follow me home every day and beat me down with a two by four while yelling down with cis. but if we’re being real here julie’s shitposting lights up my dashboard every day for better or worse and theyre actually a really cool person. we’ll fight in pokemon when u catch up to me binch

@steinways​ sarah’s one of my oldest mutuals from all the way back when she just had her mahiru and i?? love sarah?? she’s such a sweetheart and all of her characterizations are so absolutely stellar. 10/10 would sarah again and also she made my theme so. yknow. amazing all around

@ongakuvoices rio’s a special brilliant soul w so much love for their muses and it shows in everything they write... i adore both their ibuki and their nagisa to pieces!! i know theyre gonna go places in life and ill be over here cheering them on from the sidelines, probably holding up some signs with memes on them

@jrco-disd actually i hate seth. nevermind. i’m not doing this

@nullverum​ boss was like one of the first ndrv3 blogs i interacted with long before the game had its official english release. i remember i made a post a while before saying that i thought ouma/nami would be a strange but cute brotp and hell! i was absolutely right in every way. its even funnier upon finding out ou/ma kind of plays the na/nami role just as much as the ko/maeda role in actuality (he’s gotta do both since a CERTAIN SOMEONE gets fridged at the beginning), so they’re surprisingly good (bad, actually) for each other. 

@ayatsurii sparkle’s peko is great ok? best sword girlfriend, would shower her in love and affection and cute things. nanami apparently has a thing for taller, stoic individuals with red eyes who could kick her ass one-handed. (don’t we all tho??) ahem. anyway. would recommend sparkle’s pekpek.

@kibouzuru i know we were mutuals for a while before i got involved with truth syndicate stuff? i feel silly not having interacted with u before because i rly should have. im really glad i got a chance to bc u and ur egg are cool (well, naegi’s a total dork) and now i can have nanami tease leggy and eggy about their relationship. she’s gotta get back at hinata for all those years of short jokes somehow, too bad naegi’s just collateral

@hikaup i remember i was on the lookout for pokemon blogs a while back and i stumbled across ur blog and was like... what the heck, this hikari seems way too cool... and wow!! i was totally right!! i love ur portrayal so much it’s such good shit and chiaki and hikari already have such a good dynamic. i hope chiaki gets to do Spooky Shit with hikari someday (and maybe even hold hands???? lets not get ahead of ourselves here) btw i get whiplash from how often u put out amazing themes

@kibcu

and yes, im gonna be at your basketball game tomorrow. stop telling me about it

@cantalazarus u know how i feel about u. ur smart and funny and talented and ur take on ur muses is So Good and 

@malchancevilain​ watchy is another one of my oldest mutuals and its always great to see their togami on my dash! we’ve been in a few group verses together now and i love seeing how he handles different situations (always with a great degree of salt) and just hanging out ooc! also: greg grimaldis wherever you are you better believe im getting those fifteen dollars back *mic drop*

@seineijashu​ oh.

hey nerd. we havent rly spoken much in a while but im still out here 100% in ur corner and i love everything u do. i know i dont know like anything about Boruto’s Dad like i said (im more a hunter x hunter guy myself,,,) but even if roleplaying opportunities are scarce im still totally down to talk like any time. now if only our time zones would line up. ps theres a secret message hidden here did you see it

@hopefromtheordinary​ it’s so great to see you back in the dr rpc! i loved your komaeda and your kamukura way back when. i love the twin shenanigans you and sin get up to (serious or crack) and i really can’t wait to get more chibot/kamukura stuff going! im excited i hope ur excited too

@gamblingqueen ANOTHER person i’m so glad to see back over here!! u were one of the first people to rly plot with me to any extent ooc and i am very excited to get right back into it! chiaki and celes are such an odd pair, but it’s wonderful to see them interact after they’ve both been brought so low. im over here rubbing my hands together at the speed of light in anticipation

@mxssias if naegi tries to get nanami to watch sword art online with him one more time shes gonna kill him and hide the body in the reserve course grounds. ahem. anyway. alex you’re such a little shit but you’re funny and i love your egg boy even if he’s constantly getting himself into trouble and sacrificing himself like he doesnt have anything better to do. get that boy a better hobby? thanks

and sorry if i forgot anybody! doing these is kind of exhausting for me and i might have gotten a little lazy, but i tried to hit most of the people i’ve been in contact with ooc at least a bit (who have been active within the past week or so).

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@jrco-disd ok fine fuck you. seth was one of the first people in the fandom to reach out to me and even if he’s often belligerent at me for no good reason (ok, fine, maybe i deserve it) i still really appreciate his friendship and am glad that we can exchange shitty sonic memes with each other. the day we get that sonic forces monster factory is the day we both can die happy, probably after strangling each other

[survivormysticfalls-blog]

Hello castaways! It’s been a long process, but we are finally crawling towards the end of our game! Let’s say goodbye to the Mystic Falls we all know and love by looking back at our old castaways who have fallen

Christian

Veronica: we literally didn’t get to play with each other this game but i wanted to work with you since i saw you were casted too because you’re so pretty and i love you.

Stevie: I believe we voted you out first from our tribe, just kinda how things went. I don't think we talked much

Abel: lmao premerge flop idk you

Jordan: bye you suck

Veronica: you’re such a messy ass bitch and you’re such a fucking freak bYE

Abel: lmao premerge flop idk you

Veronica: MY MAN MY BOYFRIEND I WAS SO SAD WHEN YOU LEFT WE DIDN’T GET TO PLAY TOGETHER AND LET EVERYONE BE JEALOUS OF OUR SHOWMANCE

Stevie:  the tribal you left was crazy. I believe it was me vs you in firemaking and I barely beat you. That was STRESSFUL and we just weren't on the same side for things in this game but you cool

Jordan: idk you

Abel: lmao premerge flop idk you

Veronica: i always enjoy playing in games with you rhea, you’re so nice and always a great ally. unfortunately we really didn’t get a chance to play together since i know you get busy and so you left really early in the game.

Jordan: I love you rhea the hosts were ugly for that ugly challenge

Abel:  i wanted to play with you so bad

Jordan-idk you

Abel: i think u were on my tribe at some point

Veronica: Ľúbim ťa. #michalstanforever

Stevie: I don't think we said a word to each other in this game and you just weren't really around and that's pretty much why you left. This was not your game my friend

Veronica: i don’t think we ever talked and like i cant even check bc when i try to search sydney on skype i just get a lot of chats im in with sydney hicks so sry

Abel: u definitely were in mystic islands

Jordan: idk you

Veronica: king of inactivity! we were deadass in like three games together (this being one of them obviously) in the same tribe and everything and you were ghost in all of them which is unfortunate but i don’t think you really cared.

Abel:  BOY ALL YOU DID WAS TALK ABOUT ZELDA AND NOT DO CHALLENGES 

Jordan: you're cool

Veronica: we barely talked and i’m pretty sure i voted you out so like i’m sorry we didnt get a chance to talk more i really dont remember your eviction if im going to be honest and ya

Stevie: we could not catch a break in this game!! We were at the bottom before we hit merge and had I not won immunity in the double it would've been me instead of you. It sucked losing you as an ally but I made it work

Abel: thats what ur flop ass gets for trying colin

Jordan: I kind of just used you for the first vote then you died

Veronica: your flag was so ugly and i really didn’t mean to pop off at you in the tribe chat to talk about how ugly it was like i meant to do it in my host chat but like i accidently sent it so sry but also kinda not sry urs wouldnt have given us a chance

Abel: Francesqua the LEGEND BISH WHY DID YOU QUIT I WANTED YOU AT THE END WITH ME SO BADLY

Jordan: I love catfish

Stevie: The iconic catfish that we don't know the identity of!! It gave us a bit of conversation but otherwise that's about it

Abel: lmao premerge flop idk you

Veronica: hi catfish

Veronica: hi egg ily and u already know that it sucKS that you were voted out and i wanted u to stay and idk what else to say besides u better still have our text thread or i’m going to scalp you bald...u will be more bald than u already are.

Jordan: idk you

Abel: sorry you talked to me too late :(

Stevie: we pretty much did not speak at all, you didn't really submit anything, and I didn't really have a connection with you in this game.

Veronica:  fellow holosexual...we barely talked game in this game or rly in pms that much at all but like i didnt want to see u in ponderosa but then i did and then i left so i didnt see u there long and idk where im going with this fjsldafjdlsafkjdsa

Stevie:  rocked out KING. You died at the hand of Richie's idol thing or whatever it was. An iconic way to go

Abel: I really liked you! I always assumed I’d be working with you and Veronica post merge but then no one bothered talking to each other lol. F2 in our next game?

Jordan: whew those rocks

Veronica: ur the worst u still havent watched survivor with me so i blame my complete lack of understanding of how certain things are in survivor all on YOU and like i guess to be fair to matthias u were like 2% the reason why i left earlier but its ok ily

Stevie: You wanted out once we hit merge, you weren't talking to anyone and we eventually voted you out. I hope it's what you wanted.

Jordan: ok

Abel:  lmao postmerge flop idk you (jk u seemed nice from a distance vote4me pls)

Veronica: you were 100% the reason why i was voted out of this game and the bitter bitch in me wouldn’t rest until you were out before me once i was back but you might possibly be a worst person to duo with i have ever encountered and i was a duo with nicholas in gleebb...ily tho hehe

Stevie:  I enjoyed playing this game with you for the time that I did but unfortunately it just got to a point where it was your time. You're one of my faves here

Jordan: the queen stayed queen

Abel:  #AfricanSolidarity :’) i wish we spoke more i did enjoy you a lot and I wish i could have done more to save you

Veronica:  i literally owe you my LIFE in this game like 2 times where u have saved my ass 1 being the revive the dead thing and then u not flipping and letting it go to rocks like wheW had me shook to my core and just ily

Stevie: Also a rocked out king. One of my closest allies toward the end of the game, I was sad to see you leave but at least you went out in a fun way! All we were trying to do was make the game fun

Jordan: Patricia's revenge

Abel:  maybe if u didn’t stan nicole u wouldn’t have been rocked out(jk love you lets stay friends)

Stevie: One of my greatest friends in the community!! Idk how but we keep ending up in all the same games. I was excited to have someone familiar until his one but we didn't even encounter each other until the merge. It got to a point where I wanted to vote you out just to do something different. People may have associated us two and a few people actually were surprised by me saying I would vote you out and I wanted to stay true to that. And this has just been a strange game, maybe I'm screwing myself  over by doing that but we'll see!!

Veronica: you deserve to win every game you are in so like #robbedking but like u win things and i already dont win things so i needed you to go so i can maybe win something hopefully rip 

Jordan: icon you deserved better the others can choke

Abel:  DREW I didn’t expect us to become friends, mostly because I really didn’t plan on being active enough to make any friends but I do appreciate the fact that you reached out to me. You’re hilarious and amazing and was robbed. Thank u for being an icon bro.

Final Immunity will be up shortly.

[ta1lulah]

yep. so apparently this is what i’m doing with my quarantine time now.

i am going to rank every travis scott song from his studio albums. there are quite a few instances where i find it impossible to put one song over the other, so the top 1-10 is pretty interchangeable to me. including the deluxe edition songs, there are 47 songs for me to rank in total.

this is in no way me trashing trav’s music (if you don’t know me i literally live so far up his ass that if he sneezed i would come out of his nostrils and have done for many years), it’s just something that i am scarily qualified to write about and should entertain me for a while.

just as a quick pre-cursor to the list: birds is my favourite trav album by far and astroworld had a lot of skips for me, so of course that is reflected. if you don’t agree with that i don’t really care; my mind cannot be changed.

yes i am aware that owl pharaoh and dbr exist.

i’ll explain my choices as best as i can, let’s go

47. wonderful

i fucking HATE this song. ruins the entire vibe of birds and the only song on the entire record that i will ever skip. after having the ends as an intro and apple pie closing off rodeo, i just don’t know what this song is doing. it needs to be deleted

46. nc-17

it’s ok. i just always skip it and it’s very plain to me, i’m not mad at it

45. stop trying to be god

SO overrated. i don’t get it at all. boring fucking song to me

44. rip screw

as above

43. carousel

loved it when i first heard it but it got old super quickly and has little replay value to me. bangs when you haven’t heard it in a while

42. coffee bean

in theory i should like it but i just don’t like the execution. i appreciate it but it’s not for me

41. flying high

i know this song gets trashed on a lot and i dont agree with that completely. it’s a good song but again doesn’t have the heavy replay value that the majority of rodeo has (not to mention it ruins the flow of rodeo, in my opinion)

40. houstonfornication

OVERRATED. when astroworld dropped i saw so so many people putting this in their top 3 off the record and i simply don’t get it at all. it’s a solid song but it’s boring, i never find myself putting this song on voluntarily

39. sicko mode

it was inevitably going to come in low. you may know that i dont trash talk drake, but seriously fuck the second half of this song that drake RUINS. i could happily go about the rest of my life without hearing this song ever again. trav’s first verse is the only reason this is not placed in the 40’s

38. ok alright

from this point on i dont dislike any of these songs and this was pretty painful to place. this song goes, but i am unable to place it any higher. it just feels like a (very good) throwaway track that got slung onto the deluxe edition. also q and trav should sound better than this, i think they could’ve made something better than this track together, i wanted their song to sound like it could’ve been on oxymoron (a wholly flawless record).

37. who? what!

i’m actually really fond of this song and listen to it a lot. to me it just sounds out of place on astroworld and was definitely a huncho jack throwaway

36. stargazing

the beat change aged like old milk. i will admit when i first heard this though, i loved it so much. and the feeling you get when the intro to stargazing starts playing before trav comes out on stage is unmatched, so it has a special place in my heart for that alone. in terms of astroworld as a whole, i think it’s the perfect first song for the album

35. goosebumps

maybe ive heard it way too many times, i’m not sure. but it would feel wrong for me to place this in my top 30, i dont find myself putting it on ever. a classic nevertheless

34. pray 4 love

i used to fuck with this song so much but recently it’s just not doing it for me. something about listening to it now just makes it sound corny to me. “wanna know my dick longer than a pringle box” will live on forever

33. wake up

bangs, but again this song is corny as fuck (maybe it’s just the weeknd as i’m seeing a theme now)

32. 5% tint

solid song, can’t put m y finger on it but it just lacks personality, outro is godly though

31. guidance

i love this song seriously, but i can understand why lots of people don’t. it fits perfectly on birds and it’s placement within the album is stunning, but as a standalone track it’s pretty weak. i would love trav to make more songs in this style

30. wasted

this song is slept on, i love it so much. but if the yung lean version had made it onto rodeo this would be a top 10 track EASY.

29. butterfly effect

we all know this song goes, i listened to this way way way too much when it was first released

28. outside

this was painful. the 21 savage feature is flawless, this song is so interesting to me. beat is gorgeous

27. astrothunder

pretty song, didn’t blow me away but i’m super fond of it. the way tracks 11-15 of astroworld play is perfect and really redeemed the album for me

26. 90210

yep. honestly if this is in your top 3 favourite travis songs i have nothing to say to you. beautiful song, second half is stunning, we all know that, but how is this top 3. LISTEN TO BIRDS IN FULL!!!

25. yosemite

i really like this song but i can’t take it seriously because of nav microphone-gate. (u know)

24. lose

i LOVE this song, but it’s not strong enough to be top 20. it’s a cute song, i dont know

23. piss on your grave

this song has such a special place in my heart. the motherfucking visuals!!!

22. 3500

the future verse. that is all.

21. beibs in the trap

the way this is placed on the album are you kidding me?! perfect. and yes, because it’s nav it missed out on a top 20 spot. it is what it is (the trav verse is absolutely flawless in every way)

20. never catch me

this deserved to actually be on rodeo rather than a deluxe track. the production wooooowwwweeee

19. maria im drunk

i cant even put into words the way i felt hearing thug say “travis scott” on this song for the first time. and the fucking justin bieber verse! godly

18. sweet sweet

such a *sweet* little song, i have an extreme soft spot for it

17. antidote

i dont have to explain this.we all know this song. if you havent seen it live all i can offer you is my deepest condolences

16. through the late night

kid cudi means everything to me and this partnership was always going to create something sensational <3 it is everything i was expecting and more (side note: i am coming back to this a couple of days later after THE SCOTTS has been announced, yes my entire life is made, and when the joint album drops best believe i will be writing a several thousand word post about it)

15. pornography

there couldn’t possibly be a better opening track to rodeo. this shit is like onomatopoeia, i know u know what i mean

14. skeletons

travis and kevin parker working together! of COURSE the song is this beautiful!!! i need an entire joint album plzzzzzzzzz

13. the ends

3 stacks. no more needs to be said (actually i will say that the fact that he was supposed to narrate this album like ti did for rodeo and that it never happened routinely keeps me up at night)

12. apple pie

this was my favourite song off rodeo for a loooooooong time. im a loser and still tear up when i listen to the record in full and hear the last lines

11.  no bystanders

purely for sheck’s “BITCH!”

10. can’t say

it’s true i do transcend every time i hear “gotta take a long drive up the hill”

9. sdp interlude

perfect in every single way. how/where it’s placed on the record is breathtaking. would be in the number 1 spot if it was longer

8. nightcrawler

oh the sosa verse really means everything to me

7. pick up the phone

come on now. all i will say is this: experience this song live, do yourself a favour. i have a fantasic video of trav and thug performing this live at wireless 2019, but unfortunately my manic screaming/crying ruins the whole fucking video. so just take my word for it

6. coordinate

i genuinely cant fathom how perfect this song is. i hate to use the word “vibe” but jeez the *vibe* this song gives off is unlike any other. THIS is my favourite style of trav’s music

5. impossible

legitimately get chills every time i hear “split a pack of the woods down”. yes. the production!

4. way back

everything about this song. the  second half. again, see this song live is a spiritual experience. also, i couldnt love this song any more but then uzi samples this and it just gave me a WHOLE other layer of appreciation for it. what a fucking song (both prices and way back)

3. i can tell

just listen to this again. the “take it up another notcher” part. how is it real?!!!

2. first take

SOOOOO underrated. never in my life would i ever think that the sentence “bryson tiller killed that” would leave my mouth but here we are. the way this transitions into pick up the phone.

1. oh my

we made it!!!! honestly i struggled so fucking much to find a #1 but i think it will have to be this song because it is just so sentimental to me. when i first listened to rodeo this was immediately my favourite song off it and it still remains perfect in every way several years on. quavo in the second half of the song is STUNNING, words just dont do anything about this song justice

if anyone read to the end here we go, if you think my choices were fucked up and idiotic feel free to send me hate via instagram dm (@ta1lulah, plug!)

my actual favourite travis song of all time fucking ever is skyfall, but as i put earlier i was only ranking songs from studio albums.

in conclusion, birds is a criminally misunderstood masterpiece -ta1lulah