#i know i have a guide somewhere…………

[rmadridcore]

NSFW Alphabet

Pairing: Jude Bellingham x Reader

Requested

Word count: 2.3K

Warning: Smut! (Minors DNI)

Author’s note: Another request I had on my list that came just in time lmao 🤍 Enjoy, anon!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Aftercare with Jude is practically a ritual. No matter how intense the moment, he makes sure you end the night feeling cherished and at ease. He’s meticulous — cleaning you up with a warm cloth, whispering soft reassurances as he gently wipes away any lingering mess. If he’s gone rough, you’re guaranteed a warm bath where he’ll tenderly wash every inch of you, his touch as gentle as his words, massaging your skin with care. Jude gets extra affectionate afterward; he wants to be close, savoring the post-intimacy warmth with his arms wrapped tightly around you. For him, holding you is almost like another way of saying "I love you" and he needs you to feel that just as deeply.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On you, Jude is truly torn. He adores your eyes, especially how they’re filled with love, but also how they look when he’s making them roll back. Then there’s your hair — soft and fragrant, perfect for his hands to pull when he’s got you on all fours or on your knees. Naturally, he’s captivated by your body, your curves, but if he had to pick a favorite, it’s your lips. Those soft, inviting lips that kiss him tenderly, speak words of love, and do...other things that drive him crazy. The way your lips look wrapped around him or just lightly kissing his fingers, or how they brush over his sensitive spots; it’s irresistible.

For himself, it’s between two: he loves his hands, for what they can do to you — massaging, exploring, or lifting you closer when you’re arched back. And, well, his other favorite…take a lucky guess. But those hands of his? They’re his pride and joy when it comes to you.

C = Cum (anything to do with come, basically)

Jude’s favorite place to is definitely inside you. It’s like he’s on another level when he feels your warmth around him, holding him close — he loves how intimate and possessive it feels, and nothing compares to hearing you ask for it. That alone drives him wild. But if he’s feeling extra smug, he’ll finish on you, usually your face. He loves seeing his release on your lips or the stray drops on your lashes, and the way you look with him still covering you leaves him in awe.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Jude loves marking you, even if he rarely admits it. Knowing the hickeys he left are hidden away on your thighs or chest makes him feel smugly possessive. When he’s in a more playful mood, though, he’ll leave them somewhere visible and watch you try to hide them the next day. Seeing you subtly covering up the spots, his love bites just barely hidden, makes him lose his mind.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Jude’s had his fair share of experiences, he’s learned a lot over time and he definitely knows what he’s doing. But with you, he’s dedicated to learning you — he’s incredibly observant and pays attention to all the tiny details about what you like. Every sigh, every shiver, he notes it down mentally, building a whole guide to pleasing you specifically. His experience shows, but he doesn’t coast on it, he’s always looking to make each moment even better, to discover new ways to make you feel good. He’s invested in making every time together feel like it’s just for you.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He loves anything that lets him see you. Whether it’s missionary, or having you on his lap facing him, or you riding him, Jude is addicted to watching you. Seeing your face flushed and eyes struggling to stay focused on him? It’s everything he wants. The way your expression changes when he’s deep inside you, seeing every little reaction up close — it just drives him to keep going, to watch you unravel bit by bit under his touch.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous etc.)

Jude’s mood is flexible, sometimes he’s lighthearted, laughing softly and whispering silly things to make you giggle. Other times, he’s intensely focused, his full attention on you, dead serious about making you feel every inch of his passion. But no matter the mood, his smugness is always there; he can’t help those teasing remarks and that cocky grin, even at the height of intimacy.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He is definitely a man who takes pride in keeping himself well-groomed. His hair on top is always styled and maintained, and it’s no different down below. He keeps everything tidy and natural, making sure he’s clean and presentable for you.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

With Jude, it’s all about intimacy. He knows that true intimacy is about genuine connection, and he feels that connection with you. His favorite moments are when he’s as close to you as possible, his gaze holding yours if you can keep your eyes open long enough. He’s deeply romantic, telling you all the things he adores about you as he kisses down your body. His intensity and passion grow when he’s with you — nothing matters more to him than making you feel cherished and loved.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Jude likes to jack off, obviously. Who doesn’t? When you’re not around, he’ll definitely take matters into his own hands, but he much prefers if you’re on the other end of a phone or FaceTime call with him. If that’s not possible, he has a stash of Polaroids he’s snapped of you, his favorites that he keeps hidden away to help him out when he needs it. To him, nothing compares to the real thing, but he’ll make do when he’s missing you.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

This man has the most obvious praise kink. When you tell him how good he’s making you feel or how much you love what he’s doing to you, it’s all he needs to melt into a mess. The more you praise him, the more he ramps up his efforts, practically obsessed with hearing your approval. There are moments when your compliments even make his cheeks heat up, and that vulnerability drives him to work harder, making him practically feral in his need to satisfy you.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

While he’s up for a lot as long as you two have privacy, his favorite place will always be the bed. It’s where he can fully take his time, exploring you without limits. The bed gives him the freedom to do whatever he pleases with you.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

It’s honestly everything about you, he’s helplessly attracted to every detail. However, nothing drives him crazier than seeing you in his jersey, with his name and number on the back. He can’t get over the sight of “Bellingham” and “5” emblazoned across your shoulders; it’s a powerful reminder that you’re his, and he’s yours. If you wear it around the house, you’re almost guaranteed to end up pinned against a wall, bent over a counter, or pulled onto his lap as he can’t resist making the most of the moment.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He’s quite open-minded and loves experimenting with new things together, but he has hard boundaries, and bringing other people into your sex life is a firm no. He’s fiercely protective over your bond and can’t even stomach the idea of sharing you with anyone else. Naturally, anything that might hurt or make you uncomfortable is off the table; that goes without saying.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Jude’s mouth was made to worship you — or so he often tells you with a smirk. He’s got serious skill, and he knows how to use it. When he’s between your thighs, it’s his favorite place, and he’s almost desperate as he laps you up, savoring every moment like it’s his last. He’s obsessed with making you come on his tongue and has to physically restrain himself from keeping his mouth on you for hours.

As for you going down on him, that’s a whole different high. Seeing you on your knees, with that gleam in your eyes and your tongue teasing him, brings him to his limit almost instantly.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

His pace varies with his mood, and he loves mixing it up. If he’s been yearning for you all day or feeling a bit possessive, he can get lost in a faster, rougher rhythm, his need for you overpowering everything else. But when the moment’s tender, like on your anniversary or after he’s missed you, it’s slow, steady, and dripping with affection. Every thrust is measured, intimate, filled with soft kisses, whispered promises, and hand-holding. He knows exactly when to be soft or rough, and it keeps things electric between you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Though quickies can be fun, Jude doesn’t favor them. He loves savoring every moment and finds it hard to rush through it; he’d much rather have the time to build up and bring you to the edge slowly. For him, foreplay is essential, and when he doesn’t have the time for all that care and buildup, he’s usually happier waiting until you can fully enjoy each other. That way, the anticipation only makes everything feel even more intense.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

You and Jude are both open to some risks, but you two tend to prioritize safety and privacy. The thrill is there, but he’d never want you both to risk getting caught in any real trouble. However, that doesn’t mean he’s a complete angel: he’s sneaked a hand under your dress at a fancy dinner, given you that mischievous smile, or pressed his hand over your mouth in rooms where you could easily be overheard. Those little thrills are more than enough for him, and they make every private moment afterward even more cherished.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

Jude’s stamina is borderline legendary. He’s trained as a top athlete, and while he’s only human, you might be convinced he’s superhuman with how long he can last. He has a strict rule of making you cum at least once before he even thinks of reaching his own high, ensuring you’re completely taken care of. He’s always ready to go for more rounds than you might expect, coaxing you to “give him one more,” until you’re out of breath and only his name remains on your lips.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He enjoys keeping things interesting, so he has a few favorites like handcuffs, a blindfold, and a vibrator for when he’s in the mood to tease. But more than anything, he loves relying on his own body, his hands, mouth, and everything in between, to make you scream his name. He believes his personal touch is more satisfying than any toy could ever be.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Jude is, without a doubt, the king of teasing. This is because he has learned all the tiny, almost unnoticeable things that turn you on and he exploits them like a motherfucker. He’ll make you flustered with a single look, drag out the anticipation until you’re practically begging, and won’t even touch you until he knows you’re fully aching for him. He loves seeing you on edge, desperate, and completely at his mercy.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He knows how much you enjoy his sounds, so he doesn’t hold back. His deep, husky grunts, the way he moans in that accent, and his whispered, filthy words keep you coming undone. He’s vocal because he knows his sounds drive you wild, and he loves to let you know exactly how good you make him feel.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He’s got a thing for mirror sex. He loves watching you watch yourself as he has his way with you, making you see just how needy and beautiful you are. It’s a game for him — if you close your eyes or look away, he’ll slow his pace and tease you until you’re back to looking at the reflection. It’s a control thing, and he absolutely relishes seeing you struggle to keep your eyes open.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

“Impressive” doesn’t quite do him justice. Jude’s perfectly large and proportional, the kind of fit that has you thinking about him hours after he’s left. When he’s fully hard and deep inside you, it’s a feeling you never get used to, almost as if he’s about to split you in half.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Jude’s sex drive is fairly high, almost perpetually ready to show you how much he loves you. If he’s not dealing with major stress from his career, he’s pretty much down anytime, anywhere. Just a hint of flirtation or a touch from you is often all it takes to get him started.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

As much as Jude loves sleep, he never nods off until he knows you’re completely settled. Watching you fall asleep in his arms, seeing your breathing slow and your face at ease — it gives him his own kind of peace. Once he’s sure you’re comfortable and content, then he lets himself drift off, happy to have you curled up beside him.

[mvrkieboo]

Old Bloodhounds

P46 | he's going to pay

You stared at the city mortuary. Gangnam in the daytime is poppy and bright, lined with riches and luxury. Gangnam at night, however, was when the devils came out to play. The nightlife of Gangnam is erratic and explosive, the morgue was never empty because of it. Fatal overdose, beaten to death, unknown corpses, and mangled bodies. You were still desensitised to it, to your misery.

The fact that you could look at it head on without getting nauseous was a testament that you were never really meant for a life beyond Yoonsu, right?

“Kid. It’s been a while. You promised to stop smoking, remember?” Detective Do’s, Kyungsoo, voice reached your ears, making you lower your cigarette.

“I’m just going through some shit right now.” You had kept that promise, but with Yoonsu back into your life and your loved ones moving on without you, you couldn’t resist it.

Kyungsoo’s partner, Detective Lee Taeyong, tilted his head at your language.

Kyungsoo let out a huff at you, a ghost of a smile hanging on the corner of his lips. To him, you haven’t changed at all. Still rough around the edges, the same girl he had met in that godforsaken stripper joint years ago. Your gaunt face has always haunted him, in a way it’s slightly disappointing you’re still so…jaded.

“This is Detective Lee Taeyong, he’s been my partner for a year now. Still a rookie.” As if on cue, Taeyong stretched out his hand, and you shook it halfheartedly.

“Let’s get inside. I’ll be with you every step of the way.” Kyungsoo gave your shoulder a squeeze, and you nodded rather stiffly.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

“That’s him. It’s Cha Yoonsu.”

Maybe you got too arrogant. Maybe you weren’t so desensitised anymore. That would explain the bile rising in your throat at the sight of this impostor, innocent, who’s wearing Yoonsu’s face. Your chest rose up and down rather violently, making it clear you were in distress. Kyungsoo didn’t have the chance to get a grip on you before you suddenly broke out of the lab, running all the way to the front desk and almost exiting the building altogether before Kyungsoo caught up to you.

He barked out for Taeyong to buy a bottle of water from the vending machine, guiding you to sit on the waiting chairs. He knew you preferred somewhere with more privacy, but considering the only other person at the front desk was the receptionist, it was adequate enough. When Taeyong came back with the water, he was decent enough to offer you a tissue. You took it to wipe out the few stray tears that escaped your eyes.

Kyungsoo who was sitting beside you—his knees digging into your thighs—kept his hand on your shoulder constantly.

“I thought you’d laugh and cuss at the corpse, but I guess I didn’t know you as well as I thought. He’s dead now kid, he won’t hurt you anymore.”

No, if you were still who you were as a teenager, you’d do just that. If it had been the you from just a few weeks ago, Jaehyun your brother again, Mark in your close proximity after so long, you’d break down in tears—you wouldn’t have gotten so nauseous. It was because you were aware that the corpse lying on that slab wasn’t Yoonsu. He was just another one of Yoonsu’s many victims, and you can’t help but think it was you that got that poor innocent man lying on that slab, wearing the face of a monster.

This was your fault. All your fault.

But the worst thing was, you’re about to move in with Yoonsu in some podunk apartment not long after this, and leave behind the people that you yearned for.

Why did Yoonsu have to come back?

No, why was Yoonsu even borned in the first place?

Why did he have to make your life a misery? Why did he have to push you to isolate yourself from your loved ones?

You turned your head to the clear glass doors of the building, seeing Yoonsu drinking a cup of coffee from across the street, a hat covering most of his face.

You’ve had it. He’s going to pay.

You snapped your head back to the floor, focusing on gathering yourself and to calm down. When you were stable enough, you stood up, Kyungsoo following suit. He looked at you weirdly, finding your emotionless face a little off putting. You didn’t look even remotely relieved even with Yoonsu dead. Something was off with you, but as you turned to face him and asked if you were allowed to leave, he let you go anyway. The look behind your eyes was full of rage, for some reason, and he noted you actually looked like you were gearing up for something. He watched as you walked away, a lingering feeling gnawing at the back of his mind.

Something was wrong with you, but what exactly was it?

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Yuno would always make sure not to be at home every time you do, and for the first time in a while, you couldn’t feel so terrible about it anymore, even though he’s probably avoiding you for that fight you had two weeks ago. It was just three days after the concert, after you ditched him and your dad.

“Why? Why am I not as important as he is? Please, I’m sorry for not being there for you when you needed me most, Y/N, but—but I’m here now, as your brother again, so that has to mean something to you. Do you have to put that guy over me? Over Geonwoo and Woojin? When they’ve sacrificed so much for you?” Yuno never liked to raise his voice or yell, as he would seldom get so worked up enough to do so anyway.

But he can’t help it. He still remembered how it felt like when he watched you walk away from the bleachers when he was just about to perform the songs that were of his own creation. Not just covers of some other artists’ songs that he liked, but his own songs. He knew that you knew just how much that concert meant for him, so why?

Why did you have to leave and go to Junyoung? Couldn’t you have put it off just that night and watched him perform and live out his lifelong dream?

“Here we are again as family, but you had to throw it all away just for that guy!” He yelled out at the top of his lungs, making you wince.

“...just because you’re sorry for not being there for me doesn’t change the fact you weren’t there for me, Yuno. Seriously, what would you know about what I went through back then?” You scoffed by the end. 

Yuno began to place his palms on the kitchen area’s island, head dropped down as he took in deep breaths.

“I don’t know anything, Y/N, because I’m trying to let yourself open up to me in your own pace—”

“It’s been so fucking exhausting forcing myself to open up to you guys. It’s not like that when I’m with Junyoung, don’t you get it? Every time one of you acts this way, you’d just make me regret coming clean about my past to you in the first place. God, now you’re making me wish you’d go back to treating me like a stranger.”

—and that’s why he doesn’t want to be around you anymore. Wasn’t even phased when you said you were going to move in with your precious Junyoung. Ever since the morgue visit, every time you replayed that argument you had with Yuno, your promise to get back at Yoonsu would be whispered back to you with more conviction. You were going to make him pay, doesn’t matter the cost.

As you taped the last box of the stuff you're bringing along for the moving, that’s when you noticed Yuno had left his old phone on the living area’s coffee table. He brought a new sim card along with the new phone he brought just a few days ago, so this old phone probably had his old sim card. You took it and checked—yes, the old sim card is still inside. Yuno’s old phone in your hand, you stared at it for a long while, until you made a silent apology to Yuno before pocketing it. You knew he probably wanted to sell it, considering he already did a factory reset on it, but you needed it more.

You could think of a good use for it.

prev | masterlist | next

A/N : Y/N IN HER REVENGE ERA YUPPPPP

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

• taglist • [CLOSED]

@spiderm444rk @morkiee @xiuriii @solvrse @neozon3nha @herebyaccident0 @injunnie-lemon @mystverse @dearmonamour @v-6893 @sehunniepot @bee-the-loser @nessaassen02 @luluvhs @sunghoonsgfreal @docilismo @neocrashed @soobinbunnie5 @cigarettesafterjae @dudekiss3r @kittydollzz @urlocalbeaner5 @polarisjisung @conwunder @wonupuppy @jae-n0 @413ktz @kimsaerom @meowtella @aerivrs @swanyvess @morkleesgirl @sthwaaberry @nominzn @grassbutneo @spicyryujin @koizekomi @sunflowerhae @markeroolee

[thosewickedlovelies]

A guide to writing fics set in museums / with a museum worker character

Hey hi hello it’s your local museum worker here, offering you some insight and tips to writing museum-related fics! This is primarily organized as a list of different jobs you could have in a museum and what their duties entail. This post might also be useful to you if you’re considering working in museums and want to know What Goes On In There. Let’s go!

For simplicity/fic-writing purposes, I would divide museums into 2 very rough groups: large national or city museums that Have Money (think the Smithsonian or British Museums, or the Chicago Field Museum or the Royal Armouries Museum in Leeds); and smaller local museums. These could be local industry and culture/history-of-our town museums, historic houses, or  really niche subject museums run by One Person With A Passion.

Big national museums have a fuckton of staff and money (museums can never have enough money. But these places are very well-off compared to somewhere small that might always be hustling and writing grant applications). If you work here you’re likely to have a specific role in a particular department, and you probably won’t do much outside this role (ex., if you work in collections management, you probably won’t also design exhibits)

The smaller the museum, the more varied your workload will be/the more likely you are to be doing a little bit of everything. You’re probably organizing collections storage, manning the front desk, and desperately running fundraising efforts, all at once. 

To this end, smaller museums are more likely to be closed one or two days a week- you’ll be there, probably cleaning displays or managing storage, but visitors won’t be.

A lot of (most?) universities also have museums, so a college town setting is also doable. But the same big vs small museum disparity is still possible! At Penn State University, for example, the Palmer Art Museum is its own (recently redone iirc) building in the center of campus with a lovely plaza out front, while the Matson Museum of Anthropology is uhhhhh a couple classrooms in the Anthropology Department (which they’re currently rebuilding tbf, so we’ll see what they’ve done with it in 2025).

Types of Jobs

Curator

The one museum job that everyone can name. Nominally the person in charge. Probably laments that their job is way more admin than fun hands-on stuff now.

Actually this is the role I have the least knowledge of, but I think that’s partially because this job might vary the most from place to place? Structural organization can vary a lot between institutions, but I think the higher up you get in any field, the more your job tends to consist of meetings/overseeing, designating, and ~liaising~

A list of things a curator might do:

Planning or approving events and fundraisers, schmoozing with donors and members at said events, approving or designing a schedule of exhibits, publish outreach/advertising or research materials, oversee hiring, approve new object acquisitions (or de-acquisitions), generally make sure that the museum is working within the scope of its mission and if necessary, change or refine their mission

The curator might not necessarily control a museum’s funds; in this case they’ll liaise with the people who do, likely a Board of Executives or Board of Trustees. Once they get the money from these people, though, they could potentially redistribute it as they see fit.

 If you work in a fuckoff museum like the BM, you could also be the curator of a specific department, arranged by overarching subject, geographic area, time period, or even object type (eg Curator of Archaeobotany, Curator of Korean Collections, curator of coins from the medieval period). These categories can be more or less specific depending on what kind of holdings your museum has. I think these types of curators would still be able to do interesting things, as they aren’t the ones who Oversee The Whole Place.

You can also be an assistant or associate curator, like being an assistant manager.

Education/Engagement

These are the people who design fun extra activities (esp for kids) in the galleries or relevant events/workshops/lectures the public can attend. They might be called Engagement/Education Officer or Events Manager or anything similar

Again, the bigger the museum you work at, the more specific your role is likely to be. You might focus on web content/outreach and social media, manage the ‘friends/members of the museum’ program, or engage with shareholders, etc

Or you might do things like develop content and events to engage adult audiences. Workshops or lectures connected to new exhibits, after-hours visits. These people are also probably the ones with an eye on accessibility- you’ve probably seen advertisements for museums’ early or late hours for older visitors, or ‘quiet hours’ for people who might be overstimulated by normal museum hubbub, or tactile workshops designed for visually impaired folks.

I think most places would try to have someone specific for kids activities at the very least. They’ll be designing little activities or dress-up stations for the galleries, kiddie mascots or scavenger hunt trail kind of things, as well as, potentially, activities for any digital elements in the museum. They probably also coordinate school visits and act as a tour guide for classes, and will lead the kids in specific workshops or lessons in classrooms attached to the museum.

As a note on technology- some people would probably say that integrating digital elements into exhibits is the ~next big thing~, that museums have to get with the times in this regard, but opinions vary. Big science and technology museums are the most likely to have the most digital and techy elements in their exhibits, so if this is your setting, your character could also be a generic “tech person”. I would go so far as to say the smaller/more local the museum, the less technology you’re likely to have, but smaller museums are able to get grants, some of them potentially for specifically this type of thing, so it’s totally possibly that they have a few tablets with integrated activities, or some other Digital/Screen Thing.

Engagement Officers are probably the most likely people to be drafted for out-of-hours events, so that’s a potentially fun thing for your character to do. Some museums, particularly bigger ones, have event spaces attached that anybody can rent out, for weddings, galas, markets, etc, so they might also take care of these bookings as well.

Exhibit Design

This role has a lot of nebulous terms: exhibit coordinator, design constructor, exhibit programmer- but these are the people who design the exhibits. They’ll come up with a theme or narrative, a design scheme, choose the objects, write the text. They’ll probably come up with some marketing material as well, that matches the design scheme, or they’ll liaise with the marketing people who will.

These people might not be as familiar with the collections as the collections management folk (below), depending on how strictly divided your roles are, so they’ll likely consult with the collections people on choosing objects for a particular exhibit or theme (they say that good exhibit design builds an exhibit from the objects up, but I digress).

These people will also direct and participate in the install and deinstall (the actual terms) of exhibits- putting the objects on the right plinths/stands and arranging everything just so in the cases. Genuinely there’s a lot of psychology behind exhibit design- colors, lighting, the way you might design an exhibit to be navigated vs the path people will actually take through the gallery, people’s sight lines and where their eyes go first, how the display of any given object affects people’s perception of the importance of that object. Fascinating stuff, many books on the subject. 

There are also a lot of accessibility concerns to be considered here- how bright is the gallery, how large is your display text, at what height is the central eyeline of your cases?

Museums often loan objects to and from each other’s collections, so if you’re building an exhibit and you’d really like to include X type of object but your museum doesn’t have any, you can borrow some from another museum (this isn’t necessarily a guarantee- museums are allowed to say no to these requests, but I think manners would dictate that they should have a good reason)

Museums sometimes tour whole exhibitions as well- the objects, the text placards, maybe even the stands for super special or fragile items- and exhibit coordinator people are the ones who would handle those arrangements.

Potentially good opportunities for angst stories here- wow things come to life at your museum, you fall in love with a statue but oh no it’s only at your museum for three months

Collections Care

People who work in Collections Management have the most direct contact with the museum objects themselves. You probably work here if you prefer objects to people. When a museum gets new material, these are the people involved. They might not always initiate acquisitions, and the final approval is probably down to the relevant curator, but 98% of the time they’d be consulted (I hope).

A mind-boggling statistic is that most museums only have like 10% of their collections on display at any given time. Yeah. Forreal lol. But collections folk will know where the other 90% is and what’s in it (particularly the longer they’ve been there). 

There’s usually a head Collections Manager. Other workers might be a Collection Assistant/Associate, Collections Officer (we like calling people Officers for some reason), Registrar, or some variant of these depending on the specific flavor of your duties. 

Main job duties can be divided amongst documentation and database work, organization and storage of objects, and lite conservation. Just how much/how technical the conservation work depends on your own training, but also on the size/funding of your museum. The more money, the more likely your museum is to have its own lab with people specifically trained as conservators. More on them later. 

Here’s what happens when a museum gets new stuff!:

Ideally, it goes to a ‘quarantine zone’ first. This is a separate space or room where the objects can relax for a few weeks to a few months (ultimate best practice is actually a year, but, you know. that’s a long time) to ensure that they’re not harboring anything icky (bugs, mold, etc) that will infect the rest of the collections. It’s ideally super-sealed and climate-controlled, but the primary feature should be that it’s away from the main collections store.

Collections folk do the paperwork. They’ll give each individual object a unique number (following their preexisting system that will allow it to be identified distinct from all the other objects in the collection). They’ll create a ‘collections record’ for the object- documentation containing any and all information about the object. This includes the accession paperwork (everything that says ‘we legally own this now’); provenance info (all previous owners and everywhere else the object has been in its life); measurements and description (in painful detail); and conservation history and concerns (ie ‘there’s a crack in the side so pick up with care’, ‘this was repaired in the 70s so that glue is gonna fall apart any day now’).

(I'll say as a fic writer that this would be an great time to wax poetic over a beautiful statue or painting; you can’t write “This golden crown deserved to be worn by a great king, or maybe by that broody Roman general in the painting in Gallery B” in the collections paperwork, but you can think it.)

For fiction’s sake, your collections records could be either paper or digital, but in an ideal world a museum would have both setups, for security’s sake. So you’d fill out some long forms and/or input all the information to the digital collections management system (‘the CMS’, or referred to by your specific software’s name, as there are many out there). The CMS is not a static archive, but rather a living register that’s updated every time an object is interacted with. The object records also include where an object is at any given time (‘normally in Case E in the Fancypants Gallery, currently in Conservation Lab A for repairs’).

Once the objects are done in quarantine, they’ll go to storage. If they’re being displayed immediately, they’ll probably go to some interim storage space/shelf with other objects for the same exhibit and in that case only get a temporary setting. Every object will get labeled with their object number (directly on them, with a special pen that’s safe for this. Or if it’s really tiny, like a coin or jewelry, then their own tiny box will get the label). Small or fragile items, or items grouped together, will go in their own boxes (made of acid- and lignin-free cardboard or polyethylene plastic, like Rubbermaid totes; lined with polyethylene foam and then acid-free tissue paper). Stable ceramic vessels might sit directly on lined shelving, particularly if they’re very large or heavy, like many stone objects.

Listen, every type of object has a particular way(s) of storing that’s best for them, you’re gonna have to look that up yourself or consult someone if you need that level of detail

Ideally, before being stored away, objects are also photographed. This could be part of the Collection Officer’s duty, and/or your museum could have a photographer on staff. (say it with me:) This is more likely if your museum is really huge and/or has a backlog of unphotographed collections and has hired someone specifically, even if temporarily, to improve its collections documentation.

I would say a collections person, or anyone with a museum studies degree, should have some minimum amount of conservation knowledge that includes basic storage standards for different object materials, how to spot potential preservation problems (like if your bronze axe head is actively oxidizing or if that green spot looks the same as it always has since starting and pausing decaying), and maybe how to give objects a basic clean or deal with certain types of problems. But the nitty-gritty science is more the realm of Conservators, someone with a degree that ends in -Sci or who’s done some other certification course.

The general collections store should always be dark, slightly too cool for prolonged human comfort, and labeled to high heaven. Objects will most likely be grouped by material- ceramics/pottery, metals, precious metals and stones (jewelry or beads), stone, glass, wood, bone/ivory/other organic material like feathers or teeth or anything that can be decorative, textiles, paintings. A museum often has some paper material/documents, usually part of or related to a group of objects they acquired, but generally paper and photographic material is the realm of archives and archivists. Yet again, the bigger/more well-funded the museum, the more likely it to have a separate archive department, so your character could also work as an archivist in a museum.

Another thing the collections care folk probably do is ship objects. Remember how I said that  museums loan objects and exhibitions to each other? The stuff’s gotta travel somehow! If things are being shipped internationally, they’ll go in big wooden crates, with specifically dimensioned partitions inside. Then it will be lined with our favorite foam and tissue paper, cut so the objects sit snugly inside. I haven’t personally worked anywhere with a possibility of local shipments, so I can’t say where the threshold might be as to when a museum would just pay an employee to drive the objects over vs ship them with a shipping company. But the preparations would be similar, minus the big wooden crate but with extra-careful packing (and paperwork and insurance etc)

Conservation

Conservators are the people who work in labs with fancy equipment. Not every museum will have a formal conservator or a lab of any kind; sometimes the collections care person fills this role, or if something urgently needs care beyond the abilities of the museum’s equipment, they might send it away to a lab elsewhere, the same way you can send your old VHS home videos to a professional archive to be digitized.

If an object is actively deteriorating in a way that could harm itself or other objects (as opposed to like, at risk of fading bc the lighting is wrong, which is a straightforward fix related to the environment), that’s when a conservator would intervene.

Some methods/machinery by which you can analyze objects:

Ultraviolet (UV) and infrared (IR) light - Different materials absorb and react to light differently, which you can use to identify them. Useful for seeing things like the different layers of paintings

Stereo-microscopy (microscopes, of varying strengths)

At magnifications of x5-x100 you can see things like tool marks from an object’s manufacture, traces from wear, deposits, and coatings

At x50-x500, with a thin sliver of a sample, you can see (and hopefully identify) fibers, layers, particles, metallographic structures 

You can get information from objects without taking samples, but samples are usually worth the information. 

energy dispersive x-ray fluorescence spectrometry (EDXRF) - EDXRF allows you to identify the elemental composition of the surface layer of an object. So it might tell you what a tool is made of, and also the composition of the objects it was used on, if they left traces

scanning electron microscopy (SEM) - an SEM uses a focused beam of electrons to produce a magnified, high-resolution image of the surface of an object

X-radiography, both film and digital - X-rayy are beneficial for objects that might be covered by dirt or corrosion and can show you details of an object’s construction or hidden structural weaknesses

I’m not a conservator, so if you want more hard science-based info, ask one of them lol

Listen to me. If you take nothing else away from this post, let it be this:

 Once an object is in a museum, it is never seeing natural daylight again. Sunlight is the ultimate enemy of every object’s lifespan. If you need to see an object in the sun or moon light for ~magical spell reasons~, you will straight up be stealing that object to smuggle it outside.

Okay. That being said, you do hear (and could probably google) stories about museum employees stealing things from their museums on purpose to prove a point about security or insurance to their higher-ups, so like. Depending on your type of museum, it might not be impossible to steal from lmao. (Don’t tell anyone I said that.)

Possibly the most useful advice for you to keep in mind when writing your conservator or collections care characters would be that touching objects hurts them. It might not hurt them now, it might not even hurt them in ten years, but every time you handle an object, there’s a risk that you’ll damage it. Not on purpose, obviously, but to err is human. The simplest, most effective advice my conservation professor ever gave us was “don’t handle an object if you don’t have to.” That means don’t move an object without a plan and a place to put it, first examination should always be visual, not tactile, etc. Unfortunately, that means that your character cannot walk around lovingly handling and caressing their favorite objects (unless this is a Night at the Museum situation where the objects are caressing them back, ykwim)

Museum Technician

These people probably have a lot of different names, but basically, technicians are the background muscle of the museum. They do the technical construction of bigger pieces of exhibition material, up to and including the exhibition cases themselves. 

So they wouldn’t deal with the small mount that the object rests on, but they might build the big plinth that the mount sits on. They’ll help move things around the building, particularly big heavy things, hang big framed works, assist with exhibit installs, and generally do most things which might involve power tools/equipment or heavy lifting

I worked in a big museum that hired a third party company to supply their technicians; I interviewed at another place that hired their own. If you’re a small museum, you might just have a freelance person that comes in once or twice a week to help move things.

Other

Other miscellaneous roles one could have in a museum: researcher (for exhibits and/or collections), gift shop or cafe worker, security guard, room attendant, translator, archaeologist, consultant

Honestly, TL;DR? Just have your character be a consultant of some kind. “Oh no, I don’t work here, I’m Y’s friend. They called me in to provide some expertise on X subject that they’re doing an exhibit on.” This could work for literally any subject- history/archaeology/anthropology, art, transportation, science and technology, anything you might find pictures of in an archive, idk. This could get you into an office or meeting room of some kind in the ‘employee only’ space of the museum, or potentially all the way into the collections store if you’re giving them information they were missing about some objects. Otherwise you’d probably (hopefully) need a key or some other kind of security clearance to get into the collections store.

Whew, that was a ride, huh? I hope this guide was useful to someone! I’m always open to answering questions if you think I forgot something or if anyone wants more details <3

[genderqueerpositivity]

It feels like I'm finally getting somewhere in processing this shit. The process has been helped along by rest, spending time outdoors, talking with chosen family, and rather surprisingly by watching the service from my local UU fellowship online yesterday. Kind of wish I'd gone in person now even though I haven't gone in a few years.

I also wish I hadn't scheduled my next therapy appointment so far out from election day...but I thought, really believed, that things would go differently.

This whole situation is ass. It hurts. I've been grieving and scared and hopeless. I've been feeling betrayed and let down and disappointed. I know that I have not felt these things for the last time.

But the question is how to continue without being consumed by despair? How do I accept and live in the current reality? How do exist in community with those who either explicitly voted for--or "protest" voted for--the incoming shit show? How do I support and show up for those who did not?

How do I put aside the fear and not let it guide my decisions in the upcoming days?

Watching the light creep in this morning, I've been feeling it's loss with each passing day. The longest night is yet to come...but it never lasts forever.

I think I'll be leaning into and holding on to that message especially hard this year.

[alexnamuu]

A conversation between Diomedes and Odysseus that I imagine they had at the beginning of the Trojan War, when they were getting to know each other:

— Well, well, if it isn't the youngest King who ruled Argos that this council of war has ever heard of! The disciple with the silver eyes blessed by Athena, the war cry that terrifies the enemies! — The man's melodious voice pulled Diomedes back to reality. The young king had to hold back an irritated sigh that he would let escape his lips showing his discomfort at having someone close to him.

It wasn't a good day, in fact, since he stepped onto the Trojan lands and instructed his men to start setting up camp, he had never had a good day. Diomedes was used to the patterns of war, the dried blood under his nails, the bruises his enemies were lucky enough to inflict, the calluses forming on his already rough hand, he should stop by the medical tent and see if he could get some blister cream or something, he would do that later.

— It is good to see you again, King of Ithaca— He made no effort to look at the man who sat beside him, his gaze continued to focus on the fire. He expected peace and quiet, but it seemed like Lady Athena wouldn't give it to him anytime soon.

—You were splendid on the battlefield today, a true veteran, far more experienced than any of us— He had been warned about the ruler of Ithaca having a sweet tongue to persuade any man to get what he wanted. This made Diomedes shiver just for being a target of this "get what he wants by any means necessary" guy.

—That's right, thank you— He didn't know how to respond to flattery, maybe that's why he fell for so few. The King (His name was Odysseus, from what he remembered) didn't seem to be bothered by this fact.

— Yes, a real standout, I would say, with my audacity, that you would only lose to Achilles! Or you could even surpass him.

— Be careful with your words, Laertiades — Achilles' sharp voice cut through the silence, it seemed that the Best of the Greeks would rather be somewhere else, but Patroclus, his friend and healer (maybe something more) seemed very happy to enjoy the campfire and chat with Ajax the Great, who was Achilles' cousin, and at the beginning of the war, Peliades didn't seem to want to be away from his closest friend— Or you will be without your precious tongue.

— Don't be so skittish, Peliades, it was just a foolish comparison, forgive me — He made sure to emphasize — But you were still magnificent, young Diomedes.

— Do you need something from me, Leartiades? — Diomedes didn't like mind games where he had to put his wits to work and try to decipher dirty tricks, not after a long day. He would prefer the silence and not having to talk for the rest of the night. So anything that would make Odysseus move away, he would be happy.

— Straightforward, isn't it? — Odysseus didn't seem to mind, staring at the helmet still in Diomedes' lap. — I need a favor from you, something small, nothing extravagant.

— I don't do favors — The young King said — Much less for strangers.

— Come on, we are war companions now and the same Goddess guides us, I think we are not so strange after all — The warm touch of Odysseus's palm came into contact with the skin of Diomedes's arm, a friendly, innocent touch, nothing more than a form of bargaining. But for Diomedes that was like a burning coal, the field reflexes came into action and he slapped the other's hand away from his arm. The most serious expression now on his indifferent face.

— Don't touch me, Laertiades — The young king's voice was low, threatening — And I already said, I don't do favors for strangers, much less those who have very big tongues and words that flatter too much.

Diomedes stood up with his helmet in his hands, putting on the piece that completed his armor, his eyes staring at Odysseus with cold indifference — Do not look for me to demand favors, King of Ithaca, from what I hear, you seem eager to get back to your wife and son.

Diomedes heard a provocative whistle, perhaps it had come from the mouth of the sweet Patroclus who was known for his good heart, but had his attractions for a good fight. He decided to ignore it.

— Gentlemen — He said in farewell, starting to walk towards his own camp. With luck, that would have been the only and last interaction with Odysseus and he would only need to see the man in meetings and on the battlefield.

The distant hoot of an owl was his doubt and likely his condemnation of what would come from then on. Odysseus' sweet tongue would still convince him of many things.

[n0tamused]

Albedo Headcanons

A/n: Since I don't have much to post rn, I decided to go back to some of my old headcanons that I didn't publish and expand on them. These ones are all the way back from 2022 even, but I'm still happy with my portrayal of Albedo lol. Hope you all enjoy them too! I did work on these a little more, but I didn't take in consideration all the new events with Albedo after 2022. Keep that in mind.

Contents: General platonic and romantic headcanons, Albedo x GN!Reader, fluff, dash of angst if you squint really hard, self indulgent, possible grammar mistakes

General headcanons:

- Albedo is not a person who really indulges much, or at all, in friendships and relationships. He can understand the appeal, but he simply does not care as much as an average individual. He has his work to get to and his research to keep going, and the continuously taxing process of keeping relationships in general are tiring for him

- He prefers his solitude much more than any other company. He may not be in love with people much, but he is in love with the trees, the branches, the snow falling and the frozen lakes of Dragonspine - every new day means a new love for him, and he cannot wait to do his homework on anything and everything, even things he understands fully now. One thing you can equate this love of his to is the snow of Dragonspine itself, countless snowflakes hugging the lands, buried deep in crevices and cracks, trying to get to the center of the world.

- Since he has researched so much, even the smallest of new discoveries are very exciting for him, it’s those small joys that show his inner being through the smile that lights his eyes and makes the corners of them crinkle.

- Due to his drawn back nature, and his origins, he isn't so well met with emotions, so those are one of his many interests and curiosities.  He is well mannered, he knows how to maneuver a situation, but when he looks back at it, he can't help but feel distant and confused - why did they get so excited over such a small thing? Why did she blush so easily? Why did that boy get so scared by some wind? Why did he find himself observing the contours of someone’s face when he didn’t know them? Why did he wish to sketch them?..etc 

- He doesn't think he feels sorrow/regret like the others, he isn't like the others that much is certain. Sometimes when he is alone in some comfortable space he will just stare somewhere and wonder.... how would have he turned out if he just...felt more.. What does true happiness without limitations feel like? What is freedom? Does it come without regrets? In those moments he understands what sadness is. All these thoughts make him feel so heavy, his chest is heavy and tight and his heart feels lonely. At times he thinks what would happen if one of his close co workers were to suffer an injury or quit their work for greener pastures, the field of alchemy certainly wasn’t any easy one for everyone. He knows he’d miss their presence.

- There are many more complex questions that plague him late at nights, only to shrug them off like a coat in the morning in favor of his Alchemist coat 

- This all being said, getting close to him is more on the difficult side. Unless you are willing to pull a little more work than him and frequently check in, he simply wouldn't know how to act. He does his best where he sees he can, though. He isn’t emotionless, just a bit clueless.

 - He would gladly help you, and guide you in the field of Alchemy in case you are curious about it, although he would much rather point you in the direction of a "starter mentor" first, before he offers himself as a mentor. It's not that he's underestimating you, but he feels as if giving you a good, solid start with a teacher of an "average" Alchemist would be a much easier way into the field of alchemy. In a way, you could say he’s underestimating himself in handing you the knowledge he has in a way you’ll understand. 

- Klee is one person he feels most close to. Sucrose is a capable lady, smart and close to Albedo, but Klee is someone who simply touches Albedo's heart in more ways than one. He wishes to keep her close and protect her, she feels familiar to him and gives him more sense of grounding to this world even if the responsibility of taking care of her wasn’t something he initially took on by choice

- That being mentioned he definitely has great patience with her, and slowly, even if she is not really able to understand, she is teaching him to feel

Romantic:

- Everyone knows the great Alchemist is also a great artist - everyone who has gazed upon his works would say so with 100 percent certainty paired with a couple more flattering words. Yet Albedo would shrug those compliments off and politely counter their words; a simple thank you does it

- He does not really see much of sentiment in those pieces of artwork as much as he does in the art he did of you

- Those are his favorite pieces. He loves to capture every detail of you whenever he can - the way your nose scrunches, the way your brow quirks, the way you lay down after a long day, the way the wind blows through your hair, the way your hands are after having them soaked in water for too long or when they’re cold..

- He is still quite reluctant about initiating contact, especially the physical one due to his lack of proper experience on the topic. Most information he has was read from books or heard from his fellow Knights, but none worth mentioning or trying in practice in interactions with you

- So it takes much, much for him to warm up to the ideas, you will have to initiate things slowly, so he can warm up to those touches initiated by you as well but he does his own part in reciprocating and returning those small affections

- The best ways of bonding together is babysitting Klee honestly; drawing, searching nature for anything of interest..etc. So that being said his love languages are quality time, after that it would be acts of service and after that words of affirmation. 

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[illumiera]

a new moon rises

or: there is a loom upon which the fate of every mortal is woven, and she who works it is Azura's blessed and cursed all at once. pre-i fear no fate (for you are my fate), 801 words

Near a small island somewhere off the coast of Akavir, the sea glows as though brimming with a galaxy of drowned stars. Stepping onto its shores feels like stepping beyond time entirely, like yesterday and today have fallen away in favour of a breathless, everlasting tomorrow. It feels like a crossing-over, like a journey from death-touched to deathless, and Ilmarenya—Ilmarenya cannot be certain if the salt-haired woman climbing out of the little boat is still Ilmarenya, but she knows that she must try to be nonetheless.

Nerevar—silent now, but he will come if she calls, whether as sound or as a shadow—has never required it of her. Nor has fate, which cares nothing for the name or face she wears as long as she treads the path it unfurls before her.

But her son and his father can have no other, and so Ilmarenya she must remain.

Azura stands at the base of the island’s single mountain. All the art, the statues, the carvings Ilmarenya’s fingers have traced at every shrine—they depict her as the star-touched night with a string of constellations for her girdle, but the Prince of the In-Between is never quite the same. Sometimes, she comes as midnight given body, or the wine-dark of gloaming, or flame-streaked sundown, or the golden hour moving through the air like a dream. Now, at the end—or the beginning—of all things, she is as beautiful and terrible as the dawn, and her skin is lit from within beneath a gauzy gown dyed the precise pink of early summer roses.

“Are you ready, my Moon-and-Star?” Azura asks, and her voice is uncharacteristically soft.

Ilmarenya draws herself to her full height and meets the unblinking burning dusk-dawn of the goddess’ eyes. What passes between them is nothing short of a challenge: Remember our bargain, my lady. I will give you—give Morrowind—my whole body if I must, but never that which I formed within it, never my son. Only when Ilmarenya is satisfied does she at last permit herself a single nod.

“Then come, Ilmarenya Ara’dayn.”

The goddess’ hands are warm, soft, and yet fetter-firm as they close around her own. When the Daedric Prince of Dusk and Dawn leans in and presses her mouth to hers, so too are her lips.

—past—

—present—

—future—

—past-present-future-past-present-future-past-present-future-past—

It beats in her heart, in her head, in her soul like a doom-drum, Il-ma-ren-ya to the thundering of her pulse, and with the taste of roses and crystal sugar on her tongue, Ilmarenya sees.

Sees the spinning of the Wheel, the never-ending weaving of the loom her own hands must guide. Sees the sevenfold stories carved out by the strides of the Brass Tower, the breaking of the dragon, the wandering of the Soulless One, the making and dying of saints and soldiers alike. Sees the many paths of the world, of the worlds, of Ilmarenyas whose disparate choices tangle like caught threads, of Nerevarines who bear another name and face and fate, and sees—

Lliryn.

The image of her son is a beacon, a lodestar amidst it all. Lliryn growing—and she will not be there—into a lanky-legged young man with her nose and his father’s crow-feather curls. Lliryn the wizard’s apprentice, a scion of House Telvanni through and through, and a ghost to a father who sees only her when he looks into his face. Lliryn leaving to find her, and Lliryn collared and chained and seared from the inside out of everything that was hers, and then the fire and the wrath of their ancestors and the wrath of Nerevar come again, and Lliryn in the heart of the blaze with his chin tilted up to the moons-and-stars in prayer, in thanks, and then—

—and then she sees the First with his crown of storms, or the thrice-blessed Last with a healer’s bloody hands, or perhaps both at once, and either way, she cannot see her son, cannot see past the mess of thread that a Hero leaves in their wake. Dead, alive, a thrall of another kind—she can see everything, but not the most precious thing, not the one thing she needs to see.

Ilmarenya does not break. Boethiah’s children know that they must break the world that seeks to break them, and she—she has always been the rock upon which the waves break. Still, she remains on her hands and knees at the shoreline until any mortal’s bones would ache, and the tears that spill to the starlit sand are a bright, liquid gold.

What rises in the end is the Nerevarine, but Ilmarenya Ara’dayn, but something altogether other. Ilmarenya’s eyes, burning with all sundown’s fire, lift to the summit and the loom that waits atop it, and she begins to ascend.

[serpentface]

I'm sure you've already mentioned this somewhere I couldn't find it, but if you wouldn't mind going over it again/redirecting...

It's very clear that the purpouse of marriage here is to basically give a man a wife to have children for him and not producing babies is quite dishonorable/sus. Janeys handily sidestepped this, but what's the societal norm for women who physically cannot get pregnant/bring a pregnancy to term? Is this grounds for divorce? Or something even harsher?

The function of marriage in this society boils down to ensuring the future of your family line via children, securing wealth for oneself and one's family (via dowry and dower, and political alliances in the case of the marriages of nobility), ensuring support for oneself/one's family (via a wife's domestic labor, a husband as a primary supporter and protector, children who will provide labor and will care for you in old age, a male heir whole will carry your legacy, etc), and even ensuring secure passage to the afterlife (your children have filial obligations to ensure you get a proper funeral, the blood bond between a husband/wife is thought to help guide a lost soul if they die without being able to obtain rites).

Social norms regarding a man's expected performance of masculinity as a patriarch are deeply wrapped up into and built on top of this, but it's much more complex than Just benefiting a man's social standing. The blood family is the fundamental social unit and sense of identity in this society- you are your family name before you are an individual, you have profound obligations towards your family and ensuring its survival (both literally in a life or death sense, and in the sense of preventing the end of a line). Nobility generally don't have to worry about obtaining marriage for basic subsistence (though marriage and childbearing still has other squarely practical functions) which is where you see concerns about honor being most preeminent, but maintaining your family name and line in good standing IS understood as a survival concern.

So all that being said, yeah it's a problem if a woman cannot get pregnant or bear offspring to term. In cases where the HUSBAND is infertile, the wife stands a strong chance of being blamed (there is most often no way to prove otherwise in the immediate term, and the wife herself will generally have no way of knowing for certain that it Isn't her). A woman's infertility isn't something that's going to be 'punished' per se (outside of individual cases of abusive husbands), the main response is just going to be divorce (and this is probably the most common reason for divorces).

This is still a very bad situation for a young woman to be in. Being divorced on grounds of infertility (real or imagined) DRASTICALLY lowers your chances of being remarried, which is a matter of security and survival for a woman in this society. Your likeliest chance at remarriage is that a MUCH older widower who already has a set of healthy and/or adult children will be interested in taking you on as a wife, and this is hardly a given. Fathers will also sometimes refuse to reclaim daughters who were divorced on grounds of infertility- this Sometimes has practical elements (especially in cases of poverty, where taking her back is another mouth to feed), and sometimes purely a matter of shame. (Note that this is not THE standard practice, and will often be regarded as perhaps understandable but notably cruel, some will even consider this to be an outright flouting of familial obligations).

A lot of women will also attempt to determine their fertility prior to marriage, and a prospective wife being examined for signs of infertility is highly encouraged (if not an outright prerequisite, especially among nobility). Part of the job of many midwives and all higher echelon physician-priestesses is determining fertility, and they can be hired for pre and post-marital examinations. [This comic mentions it, Hibrides has been suspiciously not pregnant after Janeys going 'yeah I've definitely knocked her up, probably. Bye' and ditching, examined by a midwife yet again at his mother's behest, and determined to be fertile] [This is a distinctly unpleasant and humiliating experience].

Divorce is not usually the First response when a couple struggles to conceive (it's within a man's rights to call for it, but this is rarely a pragmatic move due to the massive resource investment in a marriage to begin with). A Huge portion of traditional medicinal practices focus on improving/ensuring fertility (both male and female), and both spouses will change their diet to include fertility-enhancing foods and take/wear medicines when trying to conceive, and may undergo intensive medicinal regimes if they're struggling.

Religious practice is another avenue for navigating conception issues, and fertility is of MASSIVE significance to this faith (in all its aspects- that of humans, the earth, livestock, rivers, wild animals, etc). The Faces Mitlamache, Ganmache, and Anaemache are most relevant to human fertility (with the latter having associations Specific to pregnancy) and blessings from their priests, prayers and personal offerings, and sacrifices to these Faces are thought to be able to increase fertility or (potentially) cure sterility. Odomache has a role as a protector of pregnant women and of children (superficially disparate to Its warfare and sovereignty functions, but womens' struggles through labor is likened to a combat, especially given high rates of death in childbirth and Very high rates of infant mortality), and Odonii provide blessings to encourage a healthy pregnancy and delivery. A lot of public festivals and rites have at least partial functions specific to female fertility (the annual rites to Anaemache are mostly participated in by women who are pregnant or hoping to conceive).

All this being said, sometimes husbands and wives actually do like, love each other. Marriage in this society is usually arranged (SOME lower class marriages are self-selected but the marriages of noblemen are basically never Not arranged) and the institution of marriage is NOT about romantic interest by any means (though its a standard hope that love will develop with time), but men who are deeply attached to their wives might struggle to pull the pragmatic move of divorcing in the face of clear infertility. You'll see some couples struggling to conceive for years and pouring all their efforts into medical and spiritual intervention (perhaps even making a show of it) without the husband ever hitting the escape button.

Adoption does Exist as a thing (though the extreme importance projected upon blood lineage (and particularly blood Heirs) makes many men more hesitant than is practical, the vast majority of adoptions occur when a man already has secured at least one biological heir). An adopted child is not considered a true blood relative, but rites surrounding adoption involve blood-sharing to establish the child as both legal and spiritual kin, and establishes standard familial obligations (this same sort of kinship rite is involved in marriage and sworn brotherhood). Opting for a divorce in the face of infertility tends to be Much more common than adoption, but the latter can fill all purely pragmatic functions needed of a child in marriage, and couples who are deeply attached to one another are likely to take this route.

[yaffles-world]

Nightswimming

Viktor and his partner decide to go out for a swim.

WARNINGS/TAGS: fluff, mostly non sexual nudity but there is some cheeky brief sexual content, arcane Viktor but blitzcrank makes a cameo cos I said so, no use of Y/N, reader is wearing a dress but is called a good boy otherwise gender is not discussed, spoiler free. MINORS DNI

The wind was softly blowing, and the moon was bright and basked the area in soft white light. It was quiet, away from just about everything. Blitzcrank being the only remotely intelligent life for a fair distance, just in case there was trouble. Most of the animals that would be around were tucked into bed.

That was of course excluding Viktor, sitting carefully on the edge of a fallen tree. His shoulders were hunched over and his cheeks and ears were dusted pink. He was hyper focused on a point in the distance, as I slowly worked my hands over his back brace. I undid the clasps and worked on disconnecting it.

“Are you okay?”

Viktor's amber eyes flicked to mine and then back to his chosen spot in the distance. “Ah. Yes… I feel… naked?”

“Well, that's fair enough. You basically are.” I ran my hands across his back, trailing down the ridges of his spine. He shivered and his cheeks turned a darker shade of red. I gently hold his cheek to redirect his gaze. “If you aren't okay, tell me. If you want to do this another way, we'll figure it out.”

He sighed. “Practically, yes, there are alternatives to doing it this way. If I just want to… see if being in the water alleviates the pain. There's plenty of ways. But I don't want to do that. I want to do this… It's… Beautiful.” His gaze wandered off again and I detached his back brace, putting it beside me on the blanket. I moved down to his leg brace.

“I… It's been… I don't even know if I've ever been somewhere like this. With Zaun, well everything's… polluted and Piltover is so focused on steel and mechanical beauty. Which, there is certainly a sort of beauty to it, yes, but it's different to this. I've never see this many stars…”

I gently placed his leg brace beside his back brace on a clean blanket. I ran my hands down to the only piece of clothing left on him, his underwear, but he held my hands.

“Now, hold on there lubov. That doesn't seem fair.” He reached forward and hitched my dress over my knees and guiding me to kneel down so he could pull it up over my head. There was an initial shock of cold. Viktor pulled me in close and gave affectionate head scratches. “Oh, you are such a good boy for me, not even wearing underwear.”

I shrugged, trying to push down the heat building inside of me. “I just wanted it to be easier.”

He smiled smugly. It faltered when I pulled down his underwear abruptly, revealing a cock at half mast. He shivered again.

“Let's not get distracted here, my love. Are you okay if I carry you?”

“Ah, um, thank you, but that's really not necessary.”

“That's not what I asked you.”

“Well, ah… you certainly don't have to solnyshko but… yes I'm okay with it.”

I scooped him into my arms and pressed his body against mine. He was never particularly warm but his skin was soft and his hair was fluffy and brushing against my face. We walked into the water. It was warmer than expected given the cold night but it was certainly crisp. I slowly lowered him into the water, despite his protestations expressed through squeaking noises.

“It's cold!”

“Ah come on, this? You'd think you'd never been in water before.” I held him close. The water was about waist deep and his arms were wrapped tightly around my back, pressing himself into me with his head in the crook of my neck.

“Solnyshko, really, do you think I've spent my whole life not having a shower?” He pushed himself deeper into me somehow, now close to being fully buried.

“You know I don't mean that…” His ears tinted red. “Wait, Vik, have you never been swimming before?” I cursed myself. Of course he hasn't. Zaun waterways aren't known for being clean after all and who would have taught him? Especially with his body in the condition that it's almost always been in. “I'm so sorry, I didn't even consider that as a possibility. Are you okay? We really don't have to do this.”

He nodded, smushing his nose against my neck. “I trust you. I know you've got me.” I could feel his lips pull into a smile.

“Okay. Okay. No pressure at all.” I laugh breathily and he returns the laughter. “How do you feel?”

“Good. It helps, a bit.”

“Do you think you can detach from me?”

Viktor squeezed tighter with a strength I didn't know he had, but then he slowly detangled himself. He shivered slightly, then stood a bit straighter. He smiled a crooked smile.

“Okay. First step, I'm going to teach you how to float.”

Viktor nodded.

“The goal here is to stay flat and above the water. There should be no parts of your body sinking below the surface, or all of you is going to sink. Generally it's a good idea to focus on the stomach area and keep that above, and then the feet and the head. The head will naturally want to stay above though so the focus is more on the lower body. I'm going to help you. Are you ready?”

Viktor nodded and I put my hand underneath his back and under his knees, tipping him upwards to the sky. I kept one hand under his back and one under his thighs to keep him above water.

“Okay. You got it? Focus on keeping the air in your stomach. That's the point that's going to keep you afloat. And then don't let your feet fall under.”

Viktor hummed in affirmation. I pulled my hands out from under him, not without leaving a quick parting squeeze. Viktor remained steady above the water.

“Very good.”

Viktor whined softly, barely audible if not for the near silence of where we were. I stifled a laugh as his cheeks went bright red.

“Sorry, solnyshko.”

“Oh, no, don't be sorry for doing so good for me.” I scratched his hair. “Focus, my love.” I moved slowly down to his cock sticking up out of the water. “Now this is just too tempting to resist.” I gently lick the tip before going down. Viktor inhales sharply, before steadying his breathing.

“Solnyshko…” he breathes shakily. I hum, before moving back to be beside him.

“You truly impress me Viktor. You're doing so well. But, again… let's not get distracted. However tempting you are.”

I kick up my feet and float next to him holding his hand. His breathing slowly returns to being steady.

“Thank you for taking me out here.”

“Of course.”

We lay there for a while holding hands and looking up at the stars. The trees outline the sky, framing it with their dark, sprawling leaves reaching outwards.

“It's beautiful.”

“And so are you.”

[samarecharm]

Need to mod sims 4 stat: i always forget that theres no fucking black hairstyles to choose from in this game

[mrsrookhunt]

Time Flies

It's been four years since twst came out. In another universe, all of the first years have graduated-- our 2nd years have been in college or pursing adult life for two years, and our 3rd years for three.

In another dimension, they're growing alongside us. We aren't alone, nor will we ever outgrow us, because every thought that we have ever had has spawned a new world within it. We aren't alone. Our most beloved characters, while not real in our world, are living through all the same problems we are in another.

They're scared of the future too, just like we are.

Time flies. We shouldn't be scared of it.

[crescentfool]

so you want to use OBS

hello! i’ve decided to compile information on my OBS setup and some resources that have helped me along the way.  this is mostly for personal reference, but maybe others can make use of this information!

some notes before i get into it:

i use OBS for both offline recording and (twitch) streaming. any footage i record is edited using DaVinci Resolve 18, which is free.

most of my OBS captures are of video games (through a USB capture card, specifically elgato), and the occasional screen/application capture (like clip studio paint, and sometimes PC games).

as such, the information here is reflective of these experiences. this post is not comprehensive to all of OBS’s features- this is just an overview of the settings and configurations that are most relevant to me.

with that out of the way, all the information will be under the cut!

Basic Setup

file format:

how to change: settings -> output -> recording -> recording format -> press “apply” once finished!

I save most of my recordings as .mkv files- it supports multi-track audio! i prefer .mkv over .mp4 because if your power goes out, you still have a recording to work with. 

.mkv files can be read by DaVinci Resolve without an issue- but for Adobe software, they'll need to be remuxed to .mp4 within OBS! (file -> remux recordings -> press the … to select a file -> press the “remux” button)

video resolution and framerate:

how to change: settings -> video -> output (scaled) resolution

my obs canvas is @ 1920 x 1080p (16:9)

i switch between 720p and 1080p as needed! if you're concerned about space, you can probably just go for 720p. i also record at 30 fps, simply because that’s what my capture card supports.

video bitrate:

how to change: settings -> output -> encoder settings (located in both the streaming and recording tab) -> press “apply” once finished!

bitrate is a bit of a doozy to explain, but the most important thing to know is that bitrate affects your video’s quality. lower numbers = lower quality, while higher numbers = higher quality. 

generally speaking, you'll want higher bitrate when you're recording things with high depth of information (e.g. you’d want a higher bitrate for something fast-paced like splatoon, compared to a slower-paced game like animal crossing).

my video bitrate is either set to 3000 or 4000 kbps! and here's some of my other (related) settings while i'm at it:

you can put your bitrate at much higher values than me if you're a stickler for quality- but keep in mind that a higher bitrate means:

bigger file size

more information to upload (when streaming)

your computer will need to encode more

i’d recommend reading twitch’s guidelines on encoding, bitrate, resolution, and framerate to get an idea of what values to pick. for people who are doing offline recording or streaming on a different platform, i suggest googling the appropriate resources!

multi-track audio:

this is mostly applicable to anyone looking to do video editing!

multi-track audio basically allows you to separate your audio sources (e.g. discord, game audio, and your own microphone) into different tracks. 

this is an immensely helpful tool because it lets you adjust audio levels in post-production (editing). some examples of how this can be used:

increasing someones microphone volume if they speak too softly

increasing/decreasing game audio

muting swear words/sensitive information

completely muting voice call + microphone if you want to upload a no commentary video

and more!

to set this up, take a look at your audio mixer panel, and press the ⚙ icon. this will bring up advanced audio properties.

by checkmarking a track box, it puts the audio on that track. to make the above screenshot easier to digest:

track 1 consists of ALL three audio sources- desktop, elgato, and microphone.

track 2 only has the microphone audio.

track 3 only has desktop audio (i use this for voice calls)

track 4 only has the elgato capture card audio (game audio). the volume has also been lowered so that any speaking voices can be heard clearly.

tracks 5 and 6 are unused.

you might be wondering, “why do all three of these have 1 checked off?” this is what i call the universal audio track. i recommend having a universal audio track for a few reasons:

when you stream from OBS onto twitch/youtube- you have to select ONE audio track.

it’s also a nice backup in case you didn’t separate your audio correctly.

if for whatever reason you need to move around your individual audio tracks in editing, the universal track acts as a nice reference point.

mark off your audio tracks for each audio source as you see fit! once you’re finished with the advanced audio properties, go to settings > output.

for the streaming tab, you’ll want to have the number of your universal audio track selected. in my case, that will be audio track 1.

for the recording tab, checkmark all the audio tracks that are applicable to you (in my case, audio tracks 1, 2, 3, and 4). by default, only audio track 1 is selected.

if you don’t check off the additional audio tracks in the output > recordings section, you will not have access to those audio tracks in editing, and you won’t be able to edit your audio tracks independently of each other. so don’t forget to do this! 👍

custom browser docks

custom browser docks are a great tool for when you’re streaming and want to have access to your twitch chat and/or activity feed! (or if you wanted to have some other web browser on OBS).

to create one, go to docks -> custom browser docks.

you’ll be given a table interface that asks you to put the dock name and URL. for streamers who want to have chat and alerts available, do the following:

on twitch’s homepage, go to the upper right and click your icon

then, click creator dashboard

once you’re on your dashboard, go to stream manager

click the vertical “...” on my chat OR activity feed.

press “pop-out chat” OR “pop-out activity feed”

copy and paste the link into the table back into OBS

press apply once you’re done

click and drag the docks around at your leisure to put them where you like!

if you ever decide you don’t want to have something on your OBS dock (or want to bring something back), go to the toolbar, click “docks,” and click the appropriate dock!

third party things

a section of optional things that you may enjoy having.

streamlabs alerts

this is basically for anyone who streams and wants to have their chat and/or follower notifications visualized on screen!

streamlab alerts can be added to OBS by adding a browser source into your scene, and the specifics can be customized on streamlabs itself. it’s pretty self-explanatory, so i’ll just leave a link to streamlabs website, where you can log in using the streaming platform of your choice: https://streamlabs.com/

discord overlay

this is a browser source that can be set up to show people who are in a server's voice chat and who speaks. i recommend this to people who make multiplayer content- it can help viewers distinguish who is who but also it can be helpful in editing.

to set this up, go to https://streamkit.discord.com/overlay, click “install for OBS,” and after logging in with discord, go to “voice widget” and click the server and voice channel you want.

you are able to apply CSS if you'd like more control over the visuals, but the standard layout tends to work fine for me! a search of “discord overlay css” on youtube can help you get more information.

veadotube mini

this is a pngtuber software that a friend recommended to me! no webcam is required- mouth opening and closing is based on your microphone input!

you can download it here (it’s pay what you want!): https://olmewe.itch.io/veadotube-mini

for a proper tutorial on how to use it, i recommend checking out the app's documentation, which you can read here: https://veado.tube/help/

source record

have you ever wanted to stream something with a chat overlay/layout, but wanted your recording to ONLY be the gameplay? or maybe you wanted to record BOTH your gameplay AND your webcam so that you can have a crisp zoom-in on your webcam!

source record is a third party plugin that can help you with that!

the general gist of source record involves applying the “source record” filter on either a scene or source, and customizing the encoding settings accordingly. the exact details of how to set it up is beyond the scope of this post, so I'll just direct people to this video instead (it was very helpful to me):

⚠ a quick note about source record: this plugin can be intense for your computer. be sure to do test recordings and the like to see what your computer can handle (and see if the recordings come out the way you like). it took me a few tests before i settled onto something i liked!

you can download and install source record here: https://obsproject.com/forum/resources/source-record.1285/

vdo.ninja

have you ever wanted to do a collaborative video or stream where you feature someone else’s video on your stream? or maybe you’re doing a multi-person streaming event! vdo.ninja is the perfect tool for you!

vdo.ninja turns your OBS virtual camera into a browser source link- which your collaborator can add on their stream! this is a new tool that i’ve added to my arsenal recently- since my friend and i are planning to stream a side order challenge together! i’ve still got to iron it out a bit more, but i like what i’ve used of it so far.

try it out for yourself at their website here (with documentation and demos available on the homepage!): https://vdo.ninja/ (no downloads required!)

ok! i’m set up! what now?

and with that, that’s all of the settings and tools that i thought would be worth mentioning! while most of my setup was written with video games in mind, some of these plugins and setups may be applicable to other types of videos (e.g. tabletop gaming with a physical camera)!

now that i’ve outlined all these settings, i have one more thing i have to say: regardless of what you're using OBS for, do a test recording before doing anything “official” with it. this recording can be as short as 30 seconds. it’s a good habit to develop that can make sure your streams/recordings turn out the way you want them to!

here are the kinds of things i like to check! it’s not an exhaustive list, but this can be a starting point:

video:

does my video look the way i want it to (and can my computer handle that)?

can my computer handle the load of encoding? - OBS will note in the bottom if the encoding is overloaded. if it can’t handle it, turn down your bitrate or adjust other encoding settings (e.g. i had to toggle psycho visual tuning OFF because it was causing lag)

this is especially the case if you're recording PC games- you don’t want to have slowdown on either your game or the recording!

audio:

are my audio sources (e.g. desktop audio and microphone) correct? - if you plug/unplug devices a lot, be sure to check this (settings -> audio).

are any of my audio sources muted? - make sure you don’t have anything on 🔇 if you don’t want it to be muted! otherwise the audio will be lost forever… (i lost my friend’s VC audio once… it was sad)

are my audio tracks separated properly? - requires you to boot up your editing software, but it's worth doing! for the test recording, just have something from all your sources playing at once, and see if your editor has things separated into tracks.

can i hear the voices clearly? or does the music and/or game overpower them?

if for whatever reason your OBS crashes, or you want more information on anything “critical” or “warning” worthy in your set-up, you can go to help > log files > upload current log file > analyze. crash logs currently can’t be analyzed by the log analyzer- but they’re a valuable tool when asking for help on the OBS forums!

and that’s all! for real, this time. i hope that some of these tools and settings can help anyone wanting to get more out of OBS. there’s definitely other things i didn’t touch upon (e.g. audio filters for noise compression, suppression, etc.), so i suggest doing your own research and trying things out!

happy recording/streaming, and thanks for reading! ✨

[throughpatchesofviolet]

I'm not going to say I understood everything in The Divine Comedy, because I certainly didn't, but there's one thing I did notice that feels relevant to Dante's role in Limbus--the emphasis on stars.

So many parts of the Comedy used stars as a way to describe things (sometimes substituting the word "ray" for "star" to avoid redundancy), and do you know what Dante looks to in Limbus when they heal the Sinners? A star--or "the faint star of truth," according to dialogue from Faust in Canto I, 1-11.

Also, having finished all three parts, I really feel like this star is in reference to Paradiso. In Canto XXXIII, Dante is finally granted a chance to look up and gaze upon God Himself, and while he cannot remember the details of his vision, he does remember "the truth." And what did Faust call this star? "[T]he faint star of truth."

It is only through this star that the Sinners can heal in Dungeons ... it's through this star Dante can use their ability. And, after finishing the Comedy, I genuinely wonder why that is ...

I know some list Dante's source as Inferno, but I really think their source is the entire Divine Comedy--yes, Inferno has Virgil and Charon, and the former serves as Dante's guide there, but Virgil is also Dante's guide through Purgatory, where the Seven Sins are more clearly labeled and assigned a punishment. While it's said at the start of Limbus that Dante is going through Hell, I feel the way the Sinners are constantly killed and revived is a kind of Purgatory--and Dante also endures the pain they go through, as if it's a punishment for them, too.

I think, in some way, Dante is attempting to reach "Paradise," whatever that may be in the City, and that's where their "Aspect" will finally be engraved--much like how their counterpart had God's truth stamped upon his soul after gazing into the "Eternal Ray" head-on.

[shima-draws]

So I'm going to see Shrek the Musical on Friday which is exciting for a multitude of reasons. 1. It's one of my favorite musicals ever and I've never seen it live and 2. One of the kids I grew up doing theater with is playing Shrek. On the national tour!! Which is insane to me tbh!! It's crazy when I hear news of someone I knew as a kid becoming a Broadway star lol

[risingsunresistance]

feels weird to not have much to post, i feel like i basically disappeared off social media compared to how i used to post but. there is simultaneously so much going on (things that are boring/heavy and not fun to post about) and nothing at all going on (i have not been able to play anything very much and havent been watching anything besides random documentaries i stumble across), leading to me having nothing to say lmao

i did finally write down a bunch of hypixel worldbuilding headcanon junk instead of having it only be word-of-mouth between me and ark lol. only 1700 words, i can do better 👍 it was literally only about admin magic, what exactly it means to "hack," what a server is, and limbo kjgfhk. i might make a big post about the limbo section one day :]

[lanternlightss]

happy birf @gracefullilyofthevalley :]

also a silly bonus bc they do help sdbdj: