#i know i don't rb on here but i mean
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wait wait put your favorite vocal synth songs that you don't necessarily know if people would know in the tags (any level of popularity dw too much about it), the kind you can't stop replaying. what would you tell people to go listen to right now.
#I don't necessarily mean obscure because the thing is vocaloid is Huge so there are massive songs I've never heard.#Also if you're answer changes and you remember this post you can always rb it again. I wanna million songs#(I was just sitting here like 'ohh there's so many songs I don't know'#'when you find a song and you can't stop listening to it. I wish I could ask everyone what those songs are for them'#then I realized I CAN#it may seem like I do a lot of these and that's because I love vocaloid and I love love for vocaloid let's get some recs going)#I can't put down butcher vanity atm#thoughts#vocaloid#cevio#synthv#synthesizer v#utau
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Sorry for the water filter but can I be honest the more I think abt it the more I kind of hate this post. I think it'd be better if it didn't namedrop an actual real life trans person for the sake of going "ew, I don't wanna look like THAT" (especially when contrasting him to these random guys, all I hear in "Elliot Page does not look like Just Some Guy" is basically "I don't think Elliot Page 'passes'"), but even then I think it's interesting how "I am a trans man who wants to present traditionally masculine" is presented as like, the hot take of the century. Should we throw a party. Should we invite. idk. Buck Angel
#like i get where ur coming from here but i actually don't think 'unlike you losers i want to be MANLY' is like a super Hot Take or anything#but maybe i'm just a faggot and a confused little girl and i'll never pass so i might as well join the 41% or however u guys talk. who know#open mick night#gender#rbs off for now bc this post is kinda mean but i had to say it anyway#shaking trans guys by the shoulders Literally No One who thinks being trans is like. a thing that's okay is saying you can't#'look like hank hill' or whatever. no one is stopping you from Being Masc. that's what's expected out of you
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Ah I rec'd Bodhi mainly because i like his design lol, but also because he seems interesting, + as a fellow oc-haver i love seeing other people's Little Guys and enabling art of them!! /gen
u and me anon we are kindred souls... here's an extra bodhi and some ethos for good luck 🫡
#it's rare I use acrylic paint#normally I go with acrylic markers for better control#paint has better mixibg#tikas ocs#anon#answered#btw I do draw etho a lot but like some times it's not the most interesting etho I drew so I don't post him#but I can post him here#i mean the reason I don't lost is if like#oh what if I need him for a day when I'm burnt out#but then I finish the sketch book and I forget to post him at all#anyways these doodles might escape that fate#maybe I'll Rb onto dailyethoslab#my art#bodhi#don't ask about the giant brown blotchy I don't even know what happened
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oh this is going to be......... a problem actually
#me when i start wips i KNOW are going to be so much longer than i want them to be#I KNOW IT I FUCKING SEE IT IN MY MIND#every time Every Single Time#to make things even better it's vega and warden AGAIN#which is objectively not a bad thing because i love them deeply and intensely#but in terms of my bitter and hateful need to be externally validated this is some of the worst news possible because#what it inevitably means is tens of hours of my life in exchange for maybe 30 or 40 notes lmao#half of which are my own self rbs#head in HANDS. why cant i just like writing about characters that are easily and broadly popular#i should have conditioned myself harder into liking milo or asher or sam something#OR DAVID AND ANGEL. GOD my life would be so much easier if i liked david and angel#(you know full well this is not an attack on people who do like those characters. don't pretend like it is so you have an excuse to be rude#i say it every fucking time I AM NOT OWED ANYTHING I GET IT I UNDERSTAND#doesn't mean it's not disheartening to make tens of thousands of words and see almost no acknowledgement of it at all#yes again for the millionth time: nobody is OBLIGATED to like my writing or like the characters i write about YOU DON'T HAVE TO#once again: you KNOW that is not the thing i am bitching about here#i am a hateful spiteful bitch for DIFFERENT reasons#those reasons being i have a deeply insecure and desperate need for validation that no amount of 'art for art's sake!' can cure#art for art's sake is all well and good. doesn't ever seem to make me feel better though#delete later
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I made a friend today! A polyphemus moth
#gonna send these same pictures to an irl who is at least AWARE of tumblr so here's to him not finding my tumblr lmao#ok to rb though!!!!!#i just don't need him to know how much of my brain space is taken up by the pokemon anime and also warrior cats right now specifically#i mean to be fair he's known me since 2013ish so like he KNOWS i'm like this but not the fic writer of it all kfhsjkdghkfd#and we're gonna keep it that way <3#eh he's cool though. my other irls do NOT get tumblr internet culture cringe is dead stuff at all#fanfic is SOOOOOOO normal here. irl it is. uh. not. they do not get it#i'll even quote memes at them and get blank stares#like damn okay i am the chronically online bitch. i get it ksdfhskghfdk#taylor's tag#tw bug#tw bugs#insect#insects
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love the fact that most of the rbb fandom seems to not be on here, meaning i can openly admit i am unironically such a loserboy over jp LMAOOOOO
#like the fictional crush is insane#i have. too many gay thoughts abt them#i genuinely don't know how i fell for them#but i did#rb battles you have ruined my life#slash positive <3 keep doing that thx#idk slightly subconscious about openly being a jp lover in this sense over on twitter or discord#here i feel cosy tho#in admitting that if they were real i'd unironically want to marry them or smthn#they're just too perfect#what can i say#rb battles#rbb#rbbblr#ig#gay thoughts#queer#fictional crushes#yes this also means i'd kill to have shipart drawn of me/my sona and them#<3#it's nearly 4am. goodnight tumbr#*leaves*
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#i just want to say that we have a wonderful bow on the pwhl inaugural season with a great draft from montreal#and wonderful end of year award winners erin ambrose and maureen murphy#with ambrose and poulin on the first all star team [though i think what they mean is the all pwhl team bc they did all star already#i am a fan of wnba i am a fan of phoenix mercury#i am currently on a deep dive so bear with me lol#or appreciate it- it's up to you#i know i was all pwhl last night but this blog serves as a sports outlet so i don't annoy my irls on twitter#and know my next rb should receive the tag 'respectfully ' but it's too old#oh and you already know about the nwsl but tbh i'm such a cas with it#and i already know i won't be a cas with the mercs#the thing is i love to read my old tweets back and it's no different here#sometimes i even catch and fix typos lol#to be clear ily all of the mercs. not nate tibbetts ofc
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seeing stars.
pairing: diana x albert wesker words: 7.0k warnings: migraine, nausea and vertigo, brief mentions of food and alcohol, internalised ableism [read on ao3] — [part one]
A long exhale sounded from the en suite bathroom. It wasn’t one of relief. No, it was strained, wavering as it left parted lips – the evidence of a day riddled with nothing but stress.
Wesker slowly opened his eyes and looked up at the mirror from how he had hung his head, his hands resting on either side of the basin. The figure behind his reflection caught his eye instantly – dark hair a stark contrast to the white doorframe its lovely owner was leaning against. She was simply watching him with this faint, barely-there frown strewn about her features.
Despite being rather annoyed at Diana for sneaking up on him, or more so at himself for not noticing she had done so, he was glad she had kicked off her heels under the dining table. The last thing he needed right now was the shrill clicking of those awful things on the tile floor.
His head already felt like it had been put in a vise and someone was turning the handle; he didn’t need more noise to aggravate it.
“Where are your glasses?” Diana asked, and Wesker could only wonder if he’d imagined the worry clinging to the edge of her voice.
Could she tell he was in pain? That his sunglasses weren’t just some fashion statement people liked to tease him for? Had she put two and two together so easily when most were too dense to?
Wesker’s eyes darted up to lock on to hers in the mirror, though for only a split second, before he looked down again with a small huff. “I don’t know.”
He’d truly had a shocking day. It had been one thing after another, and at some point he had taken his glasses off to rub his eyes then forgot to put them back on. It wasn’t like him to misplace his belongings, and certainly not his shades, of all things, but the stressors piling up ensured the whereabouts of where he’d set them down slipped his mind faster than he thought possible.
It had all started with that pig, Brian Irons. The initial cause of his foul mood. That poor excuse of a man had proven himself to be a thorn in Wesker’s side time and time again; the police chief thought he could undermine those ensuring his unsavoury past was kept under wraps, but Wesker wasn’t going to stand for such insolent behaviour. He made sure to discuss the issue with William during his visit to the NEST around lunchtime, calling for a shorter leash.
However, the day only seemed to continue to go downhill once he’d returned to the station.
The problem wasn’t simply the piles of reports taking up space on his desk; the image of Diana wouldn’t leave his mind. He shouldn’t have stopped by her lab with coffee and spoken to her at all. He needed his focus to be solely on his work. The way she could capture his attention was quite bothersome, really. And that prompted a rather foolish decision on his part – a phone call with plans for dinner.
It didn’t end there. The newest S.T.A.R.S. recruits were a headache in and of themselves, yet getting a call from Sherry’s school the moment he left work had been the icing on the cake. She hadn’t been picked up hours beforehand, and being the next emergency contact, Wesker was informed of such incompetence.
William’s obsession with the G-Virus was getting out of hand. He’d always been more preoccupied with his work than the people around him, but forgetting to pick Sherry up from school was something else. Something Wesker didn’t quite like.
Not to mention it completely ruined his plans for the night.
With a suppressed clearing of her throat, Diana pulled him back to the present. She pushed herself off of the doorframe and made her way closer towards him. “Would you like me to look for them?”
Wesker shook his head and immediately regretted it; the sudden movement made him wince as a short wave of splitting pain made itself known right behind his left eye, causing him to grip the edge of the counter until his knuckles went white. The pain wasn’t unbearable yet, and he was glad his typical nausea seemed to be at bay, but he had no clue how long that would last. Not long, if he had to guess, given his luck with the rest of the day’s events.
Taking a deep breath through his nose and out through his mouth, he steadied himself. With each count, he found it easier to tolerate the ache, though it didn’t subside in the slightest. It would have to do though; he needed to get through his nighttime routine.
He reached over and slowly pulled his toothbrush out of its holder, making sure to not move more than what was necessary.
“No.”
Wesker glanced up at the mirror again with one of his brows quirked in genuine confusion, and he watched as Diana’s reflection inched closer. Then her hands were covering his. Why he found himself frozen at her touch was beyond him, but her soft fingers pressing against his skin was a welcome sensation.
She only pried the toothbrush and paste out of his grasp, far more gently than she needed to, then she placed them back to where they belonged.
“You are obviously unwell. You don’t need to brush your teeth when you feel like this,” she said, voice soft and oddly soothing, as opposed to the hammering against his skull.
Diana took Wesker’s hands in her own again, and her thumbs brushed along the raised veins on the backs of them in slow circles. It wasn’t just comforting to him, it was familiar, intimate, and the point at which he’d begun to embrace her touch rather than shun his craving for it was lost on him.
Her eyes finally landed on his own and she directed a small nod towards the door, making him aware of what she was about to do next. Then she took a step back. Then another. And she carefully pulled him along with her, guiding him towards his bedroom without so much as a word from him. Wesker couldn’t tear his eyes away from her. He didn’t know what to say, what to do, and with how tired he was, he could only let her take the lead. She seemed to have her mind set on making sure he would rest, and that made his chest feel much too tight.
It was almost as if she cared.
The trip to the foot of his bed felt much longer than usual. Diana’s cautious approach made sure of that. He was not intoxicated; she didn’t need to hold his hands and ensure he put one foot in front of the other. And yet she did. He felt like an absolute fool, but he still let her pull him along, regardless.
Once there, Diana sat him down on the edge before she quickly knelt down in front of him, tucking her legs beneath herself as she did so. Her attention went straight towards his boots and deft hands worked to untie their laces.
Wesker couldn’t quite wrap his head around her behaviour. He wasn't sure what to think. On any other day, he would’ve thought her kneeling between his legs quite amusing, especially with how she kept roughly pushing her stubborn tresses that kept falling in front of her face back behind her ears. But his head hurt far too much, and there was just this horrible warmth searing through his chest and up his neck, settling across his cheeks and threatening to join the burning at his temple.
The question in her eyes whenever she’d glance up at him certainly wasn’t helping either. It was almost wary, as though looking for permission to continue. Or perhaps assurance.
Her fingers wrapped around his ankle, carefully grasping it as she pulled off his boot. That made him feel far too odd, but she only repeated the action with its counterpart. He was thankful for the way she placed them next to one another by his bed though, all nice and neat, instead of simply tossing them to the side like anyone else would.
Diana pushed herself up off of the floor using her palms and moved to stand between his legs. Soft hands reached forward to cradle his face, the cool pads of her thumbs brushing along the high points of his cheeks. But she was only looking into his eyes, searching for… something.
He wasn’t quite sure what she was doing, to be completely honest. However, the repetitive movement along his cheekbones was calming, almost strangely so, and he hated that his eyes threatened to flutter shut and his hands itched to reach out and hold onto her sides – perhaps even pull her closer, if he dared.
How could she draw such a reaction from him? Especially given the circumstances.
The last thing Wesker needed was for her to look at him like he was some injured animal; he didn’t want her pity. It was enough that he let her drag him out of the bathroom when he was in the middle of carrying out his routines, as though he was caught in some sort of trance. But to look at him in such a way, to help him undress… It was ridiculous. He didn’t need to be fussed over.
Wesker reached up and closed his hands around her wrists. His grip was tight, though not enough to hurt her – merely cautionary, much like the glare he sent her way. Astute as she was, he had no doubt she would get the message.
Diana’s fingers fell away from his cheeks, curling in on themselves, but she didn’t move to break the distance between them. She only continued to hold his gaze, eyes still scanning his own in search of some answers, even as he loosened his hold on her wrists.
It had been wishful thinking, anyhow; he should’ve known she’d remain defiant.
Wesker pulled her hands further away from his face while he slowly rose to his feet. Then he let go, making them drop to her sides in a rather lifeless fashion. He didn’t miss the question in her eyes, or the way a crease formed between her brows, but he simply focused on manoeuvring around her towards his dresser – unsuccessfully at that, as his side brushed against hers with how he staggered.
Movement made the pain behind his eye considerably worse. The familiar sensation of tiny knives stabbing, leaving puncture wounds in their wake to obscure his vision, made it incredibly hard to keep his eyes open any longer. Wesker took a deep breath to try and steady himself, keeping as still as could be so as to not cause himself more pain. If only for a moment of relief.
One of his hands settled on the surface of the dresser while the other moved to open a drawer. He hoped Diana didn’t see how he fumbled with the pull handle. He wasn’t even sure why that bothered him. But he moved to correct his error far too quickly, causing him to lose balance slightly.
The sight of plain black, white and grey t-shirts folded up and sorted by tone brought some level of structure back to the chaos that had been Wesker’s day, and it pleased him more than it probably should have. The shirts were simply for when he was too cold to sleep shirtless – he wouldn’t be caught dead wearing them casually, otherwise – and he removed one from its designated place for himself, and one for Diana.
The next drawer he opened contained his pyjama pants, all monochromatic and devoid of patterns, akin to his shirts. Just the way he liked. There were a couple of blue pairs though. Not like that mattered; he chose black, as usual.
A tired sigh left him then.
“Diana.” The sound of her footsteps crossing the distance between them seemed to reach him later than when they’d occurred, because she was already standing at his side. Wesker simply handed her the t-shirt he’d chosen for her, then he spoke again without looking her way, “Would you like pants?”
Diana chuckled at that, and the corner of his lips twitched. He treasured that sound. Well and truly treasured it.
“I doubt anything will fit me,” she whispered, the smile in her voice telling him she was trying to subdue her laugh.
“You have long legs.”
She let out a low, sweet hum at his dry response and positioned herself behind him, lifting her chin to rest it on his shoulder as she watched his hands comb through the pairs of pants in the drawer below. It was clear to Diana that he wouldn’t find anything that would fit her, considering she was barely two thirds the width of him, but she let him figure that out for himself. Instead, her hands ran down his sides and towards his hips. She stood on tiptoe to press a lingering kiss to his cheek while one of her hands travelled between them.
“Doesn’t change that you have more hips than I do,” Diana said between another kiss, tone playful, while her hand squeezed a handful of his firm backside.
Wesker reached behind himself and swatted her hand away, but he couldn’t stop the slight chuckle that bubbled up in his throat before it escaped him – one that mirrored her own. Her arms changing position, wrapping around his waist with her chin settling against his shoulder once more, was not what he expected in response, however. The feeling that brought up inside of him was not something he wished to confront tonight.
He needed to place more distance between them.
“Drawstrings.” Wesker held up a pair of pants that could be tightened at the waist, negating her claims that there couldn’t possibly be anything of his that may stay up for her.
Diana held back another sigh as she loosened her arms and plucked the pants from his grasp. Their short moment of joking around certainly didn’t last long, but she wasn’t sure why she even expected it to. It wasn’t the time or place, but she simply didn’t know how to deal with the situation at hand; it was always difficult for her to navigate when someone wasn’t feeling well.
On the other hand, Wesker was none the wiser to Diana’s inner turmoil. He only withdrew from her slack embrace and returned to where he’d been sitting at the end of the bed earlier, entirely focused on ridding himself of the rest of his work clothes. Without her interference.
Nothing seemed to be in his favour today though, because the moment his hips met the bed the entire room began to spin. It wasn’t like he had sat down too fast – or maybe he had finally lost his bearings – but the way the room was warping around him with stars dancing across his vision caused him to squeeze his eyes shut. His teeth ground together of their own accord and he cursed himself for it as that only amplified the pain at his temple.
All Wesker could do was turn his attention towards the buttons of his shirt, trying to ground himself as best he could by focusing on the feeling of one beneath his fingertips. The way the edges pressed against his skin as he pushed the button through its assigned opening felt so much sharper than usual. And it didn’t help that he fumbled on the first go.
“Let me help you.”
The almost desperate plea from the voice across the room couldn’t have come from Diana. Surely. Not even the distinct accent and low, gravelly quality of it could convince him; she had never done such a thing, never sounded like that, even when he’d reduced her to ruins in bed.
The Diana he knew wasn’t so willing to offer assistance.
Wesker scoffed, perhaps a bit too harsh judging by the frown he received, and only roughly unfastened the next button on his shirt. “I do not need your help.”
Oh, how he wished that were true.
The bile burning the back of his throat begged to differ. And it was getting increasingly difficult to just keep his eyes open, like his lids were being weighed down by some invisible force.
The soft sound of a zipper made Wesker glance over to where Diana stood, only to watch as her skirt pooled around her feet. His hands paused what they were doing as his eyes lazily wandered over her, mesmerised by the way she was carefully rolling her tights down her long legs. It wasn’t until she moved on to her shirt and made quick work of the overpriced garment that he shook himself free of her spell. To say she was stunning was frustratingly accurate.
She stripped down to nothing but her panties before pulling his massive t-shirt over her tiny frame, adjusting her hair the minute it was over her head. That shouldn’t have made him smile to himself. The thought that she was cute shouldn’t have even crossed his mind in the first place.
It wasn’t that long ago when he’d considered her vain for constantly worrying about her appearance, and the first time she had worn one of his shirts he had thought she looked absolutely ridiculous – comical, even. It was only endearing now. He chose not to look too close into that change, convincing himself that the pain he was in was simply making him delirious.
Fuck, he just wanted to go to sleep. There was nothing in the world he wanted more than to close this day and reset in the morning.
Despite struggling with each one, Wesker managed to finish undoing the buttons of his shirt and he weakly shrugged it off of his shoulders. It went no further than that, however, even with another attempt. The motion only made his stomach lurch, like waves roiling at sea.
A defeated sigh left him at that, but he was too tired to fight it. He must have made for a pathetic sight, one he wished there was no one present to witness.
That would’ve been grand, if he was so fortunate. Diana was standing in front of him again after dropping the pants in her grasp and crossing the distance in only a few quick strides. Before he could protest once more, she reached forward and laid her hands flat against his shoulders; cold fingers dipped beneath material, causing a shiver to run through his entire body, before she gently pushed the sleeves down his arms. It was unnecessary, but Diana held his forearm as she pulled the sleeve off by grasping the cuff, making sure to not turn his shirt inside-out.
He’d kiss her for that if his head didn’t feel like it was going to explode at any minute.
As soon as she freed him of his undershirt with the same meticulous care, Diana returned to what she had started earlier, before Wesker had stopped her. This time around he wasn’t nearly as tense when she took his face in her hands. In fact, it was the most at ease he had felt all day.
The chill of her palms provided some relief to the burning beneath his skin and the stabbing behind his eye. Even if it was only for a moment – until his cheeks warmed her hands and ripped that pleasant sensation away from him.
The only difference from when they’d found themselves in this position earlier was that Diana now leaned down to place a brief kiss on his lips. Wesker expected some level of warmth in her gaze once she pulled away, but he was only met with the look someone would have when scolding a child who had just hurt themselves on the playground.
If she was insinuating that he was being childish, they’d have a whole other problem on their hands.
Diana readjusted her hold to cradle his face in a more secure manner, fingers pressing firm against his skin. “I know you don’t want my help, but I will not see you make yourself sick because you are too stubborn to let someone look after you.”
Wesker glared up at her. Well, he hoped it was a glare, because whatever left him was all that he could muster in his state. From the way one of Diana’s brows raised, he sure did something, even if he had no idea if it was what he had intended.
They simply looked into one another’s eyes, holding the steady gaze for far too long – a familiar occurrence that usually took place when she challenged him. He supposed it was the other way around this time. It wasn’t that he didn’t want her help, it was that he didn’t want anyone’s. He thought himself above that, and he had managed being in this position countless times before. Even if on some of those days he had gone to sleep without being able to change his clothes.
Perhaps he needed some help.
“Fine.” Wesker relented with a long blink, and allowed himself to settle against her touch and relax some more.
That earned him a faint smile from Diana before she leaned in again. His eyes fluttered shut out of habit, but her lips didn’t connect with his own. Instead, they landed on his forehead, and his moment of ease faded away instantly, his hands balling into fists at his sides the longer she lingered there.
The pit in his stomach seemed to lessen when she withdrew and dropped to her knees again. But his head felt absurdly heavy without her hands holding it up. There was too much running through his mind, it was getting overwhelming. And it wasn’t just the hammering at the side of his skull. He wanted her but he tensed up at her touch, he needed her but he hated her assistance, he… He shouldn’t have invited her over tonight.
What had he been thinking?
Slender fingers curling into the waistband of his pants pulled Wesker from his thoughts, and he looked down at Diana, who had glanced up at the same time with that question in her eyes once more, asking if it was alright to continue. He simply nodded and she focused her attention back to what she was doing; he even lifted his hips to allow her to pull his pants off. Whenever she had dealt with the button and zipper eluded him.
He despised that – the feeling that he was no longer in control, losing his vigilance as the pain distracted him too much. It wasn’t just that though, the woman before him also played a part in causing his dazed state.
It was strange. Wesker couldn’t recall ever having a lover treat him like this. She wasn’t telling him that he was going to be okay, that she was there for him, or any of that superficial nonsense. She was just assisting him, doing whatever needed to be done so that he would be comfortable enough to hopefully get some sleep. It brought about another dreadful sensation to the mix already pestering him.
He lifted a hand and placed it over Diana’s when she reached for the t-shirt he had haphazardly dropped on the bed when the vertigo had hit him. She only looked down at his large hand enveloping hers for a moment, seeming to be the one stunned now. Then her eyes finally darted up to his face, and the steely determination in them from before melted away into that look that unsettled him far more.
“I’m being overbearing, aren’t I?” she asked, a slight trace of a chuckle clinging to the edge of it, as though she was almost embarrassed by her behaviour.
Wesker let out what was probably supposed to be a laugh in response, but little more than an exhale came out. “No.”
He paused as his next words died on his tongue. Or more accurately, they didn’t seem to want to leave his throat and even get that far. Diana was none the wiser and just rose to her feet, hand slipping free of his own and taking the t-shirt with it. Wesker chewed on the inside of his cheek for but a fraction of a second before he swallowed his pride.
A sharp inhale, then he lifted his head to look up at her. “Thank you.”
The genuine smile that crossed Diana’s face made him feel far too warm, like the sun was bearing down on his skin and reaching the deepest parts of him; it wasn’t quite a grin, teeth staying hidden, but the corners of her eyes crinkled and the indents on her cheeks deepened somewhat. She didn’t give him much of a chance to admire it though, too preoccupied with making sure she didn’t move him around too much as she carefully pulled the shirt over his head and helped each of his arms into the sleeves.
“I take it you have photophobia,” she said matter-of-factly. It was almost too clinical-sounding for Wesker’s liking, odd as that may seem. The term alone just left a bad taste in his mouth.
It was sort of his own fault, which he didn’t like owning up to. He’d always had trouble with his sensitivity to bright lights, but he was only meant to wear the tinted glasses Umbrella prescribed him when in the lab or outside. It had been the relief he felt without a migraine clawing at his senses that made him forget he was wearing them at all, and in turn, that developed into a habit of leaving them on for nearly all waking hours. His eyes adjusted to the conditions and it only worsened his sensitivity when he was without his sunglasses.
What he wouldn’t give to have his youthful eyes back.
When Wesker didn’t respond to her, Diana gently cupped his cheek. He tried to meet her gaze, but her eyes were focused just below, where her thumb was brushing across the dark circle marring his skin. Another thing he wished he could reverse time to prevent.
As useful as her help was, Wesker couldn’t understand why she was doing this, why she was being so… kind. So tender. She wasn’t a nurturer, or the type to worry about others. Maybe she did actually care for him, more than she let on. That didn’t feel right though – it just left him profoundly uncomfortable. His mind had to be playing tricks on him with how exhausted he was. That was the only reasonable explanation.
Diana’s thumb paused its repetitive motion and she simply held her hand in place. It was just for another second or two, but her touch lingered well after she departed, leaving a pleasant tingle across his skin.
The last obstacle in the way of Wesker being able to just collapse into bed and hope that his migraine was gone by the morning was the pair of pyjama pants Diana was bunching up so she could help him change into them easily. His tired limbs seemed to move on their own, slipping into each pant leg with little input from him, but the moment he lifted his hips as she tugged the fabric over them, another surge of intense pain hit him, causing him to keel over.
It felt as though his head was being split in two, torn apart from the inside out. He could have sworn the eye taking the brunt of the pressure was going to pop out of its socket at any minute. The only thing he could do was rest his head in his hands and endure it, pressing his thumbs down on the innermost part of his brows in hopes to alleviate some of the pain.
Diana shuffled closer and reached forward to place her hands on his thighs. They only ran up and down the sides of them in a gentle, reassuring motion while her mind scrambled to recall the locations of where she’d seen every thing that could possibly aid him in his house.
Her brain was being just as helpful as his was, because she drew a blank, too taken aback by the sight in front of her. The intimidating Albert Wesker slumped over in pain – that was something she thought she’d never see. He always seemed so… invincible. Nothing could tear down his powerful image and break through his composed demeanour this easily, and she couldn’t quite believe her eyes.
“Albert?” Diana’s voice was so soft he almost didn’t hear it, but his name always sounded so much nicer spilling from her lips compared to anyone else’s. “Do you need a bucket? Or…” She paused for a second then let out a frustrated huff. “Where do you keep your painkillers?”
“They don’t work,” Wesker grumbled.
Of course they don’t, she thought. That would’ve been too easy.
Or he was being overdramatic. So, she pressed on. “Not even a little bit?”
The crease between his brows only deepened, and he squeezed his eyes shut. So, that was a definitive no.
Diana pursed her lips as she tried to think of what else she could do for him. She wasn’t familiar with actually dealing with a migraine, even if she knew all of the treatments on paper; she was fortunate enough to never get them, and she couldn’t remember the last time someone around her had. She could list off every over-the-counter painkiller and triptan that was used to specifically target a migraine, but that would do her no good. She didn’t know what worked for him.
There had to be something though. Diana moved to stand and go take a look at what was in the medicine cabinet in his bathroom, but Wesker fumbled to take her hand in his own.
That made her freeze on the spot.
She had no doubt he was cursing himself for doing such a thing, for how it almost seemed to be a reflex more than a conscious decision. Or perhaps he just needed something solid to hold on to. Whichever it was, Diana didn’t care, so long as it helped. Even if the way he was gripping her hand hurt like hell; she’d been through far worse, so the possibility of a broken bone was something she would simply bear.
“Here,” she whispered while carefully pulling Wesker up to stand a moment after she did so herself. He stumbled on his feet when upright, but Diana was there – the pillar to hold him up and save him from toppling over.
The arm not reaching for his – right hand clasping his own – was wrapped around his back. It served to keep him stable as she slowly guided him over to what she had long since been acquainted with as his preferred side of the bed. This whole ordeal would’ve been much easier if he wasn’t leaning his entire body weight against her, but at least the trip wasn’t too lengthy.
Their hands only parted when Diana let go to lean forward and pull back the covers for him. Wesker really hoped she didn’t see how his fingers extended on instinct, as if to chase her touch. It was utterly pathetic. The urge to hold her was getting increasingly annoying, and he wished his body would just try to not embarrass him for once.
He couldn’t exactly exert much control over his innate reactions in his condition, but if Diana noticed, she didn’t say anything. That was one positive, he supposed.
And the fact that he managed to sit on the bed on his own without dragging her down with him. That probably would’ve earned him a bony shoulder digging into his chest, and that would just make matters worse.
Diana didn’t have to, but she went so far as to help him lie down as well. In a way that wouldn’t make his head feel as though someone had taken a hammer to it, that is. All slow movements and firm but gentle touches, manipulating his limbs for him as they felt too heavy for him to move on his own. And when she was done, one of her hands reached up to smooth back his hair.
That brought about that dreadful flutter in the pit of Wesker’s stomach. Or maybe that was the nausea. He couldn’t tell at this point.
Weary eyes tried their hardest to stay trained on the figure lingering in front of them. But they were unsuccessful. Wesker couldn’t keep them open any longer, not when everything was spinning around like this. He couldn’t even make out what the expression strewn about Diana’s features was.
It didn’t even matter, because her comforting touch left him before the sound of her feet padding across the floor reached his ears – quickly, like she was in some rush. Unnecessary, Wesker thought. He wasn’t exactly going anywhere, lying there in agony.
He didn’t think it would get this bad. It had been so long since he’d had a migraine like this. The nausea, visual disturbances, and all of that nonsense was typical for him, but the vertigo would come and go. Every time it showed itself he was caught off guard; there was no getting used to the feeling of his body swaying back and forth when he was lying perfectly still.
That wasn’t even the worst of his problems.
His mind decided it wanted to be louder than the rhythmic pulse behind his eye, yelling at him to the point where his thoughts felt like they were what was causing his pain by bouncing around and colliding with his skull.
Weak. Pitiful. Unacceptable. Over and over again.
How could he let someone see him like this?
Not just someone, but her, of all people. The woman who would roll her eyes when one of the researchers called off work, the one who boasted about never getting sick, the one who carried herself like nothing could strike her down. Just like he did. And yet here he was, reduced to rubble by a bit of pain.
That’s what was confusing Wesker. Why was Diana being so considerate of his plight? He had no doubt she’d rather be at the lab, or really anywhere else, doing something worthwhile instead of this. She should just leave, honestly. There was no reason for her to stick around; it wasn’t like she felt anything more for him beyond fellowship. Sherry was wrong in her assumption; Diana wasn’t his partner.
She may have been his, but he certainly wasn’t hers. No, she just enjoyed toying with him.
Now was not the time to fall into thinking about that rubbish again. He should’ve never asked her if she wished to stay the night. Or invited her over for dinner in the first place, for that matter.
“Alright.”
That pulled Wesker out of his head. It may have only been low, simply a hurried mumble under one’s breath, but that entrancing voice was unmistakable to him. His little pity party hadn’t lasted long – privacy breached once more as Diana returned from whatever she had been doing. He really did despise that she was witnessing him in this state; this wasn’t how he wished for her to find out he suffered from migraines.
With her hands full, Diana crossed his room with the stride of someone on a mission – full of purpose. First, she placed a glass of water down on his nightstand, then she used her now free hand to pull the bucket she’d found in the laundry out from under her other arm, where it was sitting awkwardly and digging into her side.
Once she set it down beside the bed, she crouched in front of Wesker and placed the ice pack she’d wrapped in a tea towel in one of his hands, which he lifted to his forehead immediately. Diana had no idea if that would help him or not, actually. She preferred heat for pain relief; being sensitive to the cold always made her recovery with injuries from ballet growing up a horrid experience. Maybe she should have looked to see if he had a heat pack instead. That would help alleviate the tension in his neck and shoulders.
No. She had what she needed, she wasn’t going to run around and make an even bigger fuss. It would probably make him feel worse, anyhow.
The only thing left to do was close the curtains and block out any light that threatened to seep into his room, whether that be from the street lamps illuminating the suburb or the bright moon itself. The significance of his blackout curtains now made much more sense to her.
When she stood to round the bed, Diana had no idea why she took the hand by his hip in her own and gave it a gentle squeeze. Her thumb even brushed across the back of it for a second. There was just this odd need to show him that she was there, that she wasn’t going anywhere.
Even as she pulled the curtains shut, the thought didn’t leave her mind.
She wasn’t going anywhere.
Taking care to not make the mattress dip too much, Diana climbed into bed next to Wesker. The last thing she wished was for her getting comfortable to cause him any undue pain because it jostled him about. It was only then, when the covers brushed across her bare legs, that she realised she was only wearing his shirt – the pyjama pants he’d chosen for her long forgotten somewhere to the darkness.
Wesker decided to be rather ungrateful for her cautious approach, as he moved on his own. Diana couldn’t help how her eyes wandered over him, taking in every detail she could as he began to slowly roll over; his brows were knit together, deepening the lines between them, his lips were pulled down in a frown, and his eyes were screwed shut. It was rather obvious to her that he was trying to not bring up all of his dinner, and that sent her heart plummeting down into her stomach. What he was going through really sunk in then.
She wished she could just take the pain away, make it all disappear and guarantee it would never return.
It was an awful feeling, watching the man who had only ever given her these tiny glimpses of vulnerability do what looked to be such a practised motion, as though he had a tried-and-true method for dealing with his nausea for so long.
She felt helpless. But why did she even care? Countless lovers had come and gone, not ever leaving an imprint on her heart, but he seemed to tug at every string.
A loud thump, immediately followed by a rather feeble sound, pulled Diana from her thoughts. It wasn’t quite a groan, but not nearly a whimper either, and she never thought she’d hear such a sound come from Wesker.
While turning, the ice pack had fallen free of his weak grasp and landed on the floor, causing the disturbance. Diana opened her mouth to speak, to ask him if he wanted her to pick it up for him, but she didn’t get a chance; he curled up against her side all of a sudden, resting his head on her chest. That was something she wasn’t prepared for. He had never done that before, and she wouldn’t be surprised if he heard the way her heart sped up at the act.
Diana kept her eyes fixed on the ceiling, not daring to look down at him while her arm hesitated to wrap around his back. What was she even supposed to do? This was all new territory for her, for them, and… it was overwhelming. She didn’t know what to think; there was just this massive weight that had been dropped onto her chest. And it wasn’t Wesker, or the way he slung his arm over her waist.
It was that somehow, despite everything, he had managed to worm his way past all of her defences and make her actually care for him.
But friends do care for one another, yes? That is a fact. And it’s not like their dates meant anything; she had gone on many with casual partners in the past, and they were merely a formality. The longing she felt for him was nothing beyond physical.
The arm around her tightened its hold on her side, pulling her closer, and Diana looked down just in time to see a grimace twist Wesker’s features before he turned his head to rest his brow against her breastbone. Whatever he grumbled as he did so, Diana couldn’t quite make out what it was.
She chewed on her lip while bringing a hand up to the back of his head, gently cradling it and holding him close. She found herself hesitating again, unsure of the implications of her touch – how it could be perceived. But the urge grew too strong soon enough. Whatever was going on between them was just that, and she wasn’t going to complicate matters by overanalysing it.
Her fingers ran through his hair, pressing firm against his scalp in somewhat of a massage. Diana absolutely hated the feeling of pomade residue on her fingers, but seeing the way his shoulders relaxed eased her disgust, if only slightly. She’d just have to deal with the waxy feeling on her skin, she supposed. It was a selfish thought but she wished he’d at least managed to rinse out his hair. She knew he hated it as well, though; his routines were always so important to him.
Wesker let out a long exhale and Diana paused the motion, unsure if what she was doing was actually making matters worse. He didn’t say anything, but the way he held her closer while his legs tangled with her own made her stomach flip, as though she was the one who was going to be sick.
The arm around his back held him firm as she leaned in to press a kiss to the top of his head. She never wanted him to go through this again, and she would find a way to ensure that.
For now though, she made a note to have a look for his glasses first thing tomorrow, before he woke.
#writing.#pair: ewskers#oc: diana#setting: early october 1996. same as part one as it's a continuation of that night // i think i said this all in the tags of the first part#already but i wrote these two fics back in march last year and decided to rewrite them for myself cause my writing has changed and i wanted#them to flow a bit better even though nothing has actually changed in them !! very special fics for me as it shows another side of diana#that i don't really talk much about. i mean all my fics are special to me otherwise i wouldn't write them but you know what i'm saying !!#i wasn't sure if i was going to post this or not cause i'm not feeling great about sharing my writing much but i'm just doing so for myself#if you do read it i would love to hear thoughts for either chapter and of course rbs and kudos are always appreciate but no pressure ever ♡#i'll stop rambling cause i talked about it all in last post in my talk tag but i haven't been on here a lot due to a lot of health reasons#and feeling very disconnected and overwhelmed from here so i'm still around on twitter and such but things have been really bad recently#and i thought it best to not vent on here a lot like i used to and just kind of take time for me. i miss interacting with everyone on here#though and i hope everyone is doing well !!
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I saw the "#is there yaoi in the arakawa family" tag basically right as it popped up in the notes and was also left completely dead on the pavement, but honestly? As someone who is wholly and irrevocably AraSawa-pilled (whether said pill is red or blue in color is up to interpretation...), it's objectively SO much funnier if they're just Like That. I love your comics on the topic!
There's also some element of this post I saw earlier I think, divorced from the sexual context since it's not really relevant to what I want to talk about (you'll just have to bear with me there I guess lol, can't help what the post says). It's also still pretty melodramatic applied to them (even for me) when it chiefly is just. Hilarious. But what I'm trying to say is that, taking a more serious approach, "unresolved potential" is such a compelling and central recurring beat here, so what's one more instance?
I guess that post kind of presupposes that there is or could be yaoi, but I think it's kind of like. The concept of "yuri of absence." But with dads. Like that's along the lines of the emotion things like the pair of armchairs on the second floor of Jo's office evokes in me. Honestly I think this particular ask is probably one of the least intelligible I've sent and I'll probably regret it. But. It's. They're married. But they're not. But They're Married. BUT THEY'RE NOT. But th
after meeting with The Arakawa Family Council the verdict i bring to everyone today on Is There Yaoi In The Arakawa Family is:
Well,
#fave#snap chats#OK BUT NO I FEEL LIKE I AGREE TOTALLY#like it really is... indescribable.... like what's going on here... because it's definitely something..... but not THAT but????#yeah they're married but i don't think they know that.#like its different from the married/divorced energy between kashiwagi and kazama yk what i mean#it's like. when hummingbirds co-evolve with flowers right.#like they just ACCIDENTALLY co-exist perfectly with each other after being around each other so long#like it infinitely is better if its just limbo situation where its like. What Do We Even Label This As. Should We. Do We.#cause again it's infinitely funnier if this all happens and they arent the slightest bit aware#desperately need a montage of arakawa and jo just being in really domestic situations together#but like. with the most This Isn't Anything Serious energy right#like ichi running into the office and jo and arakawa are just having a cute lil candlelit dinner#and ichi just Oh Is This Like... A Thing... but neither of them blink arakawa just wanna know what ichi wants like :)?#thank you for enjoying my comics on the idea though it's really fun walking the line between Being Serious and just Being Silly#i need to make more... but im so busy.... ill just rotate them in my head for now#ill just rb my old faves on the idea lmao#like its funny to toe being For Real bout it if not so i can make more silly slice of life manga parodies#i think itd just be funny if jo experiences human emotion for the first time and its in the most awkward situation imaginable#yk. the drama of it all its so goofy#ohhh but i dont wanna write my silly essay about them.. not now anyway... i do enjoy them immensely tho.#in case that wasn't evident. i'll ramble about them in another post of mine im sure :)#but yes thank you for your input i was hoping you'd come around LMAO i needed that peer review#and im glad- as per usual- we came to the same conclusion. We Don't Know.#edit: in review as it turns out its not old man yaoi its old man yuri. thats my final answer im locking it in
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I'm going to be fucking real with you it's 2023 can we fucking. stop posting those images that are like "this is the shoe of blessings reblog it right now or you'll never feel anything again also we'll kill you" or at the very least get better at tagging them.
#art talks about stuff#this is a very exaggerated example i am aware#fun fact about me is that i'm extremely paranoid and while i know they mean jack shit they still can stress me out a lot#ik reblog bait is the tag meant to be used for that but 1. a lot of people just use that for ''rb and put your x in the tags'' posts#which are like. different#and then also people don't tag it at all#i'm not expecting anyone to immediately change solely just because i said so i'm just. frustrated i guess#and don't even get me started on those ''reblog now to prove you're not homophobic if i don't see this on your dash i'll block you'' posts#fuck you if you post shit like that btw#ik they were more common like 5 years ago but i still see them float around on here at times
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hi b/apo friends. don't want this getting in the tags as i am so so scaresicles. but i went into the tags bc i haven't been there in a quick sec and uh.
i doubt that they'll be a staple of the community but it should be good for u to know that they were highlighted by shinigami eyes, and and that this is a terf. (likely bc they reblogged this post from another terf. and idk abt you but rbing a post claiming that transactivists are erasing gay history and then not only adding onto it, but also not disputing that itty bitty little part... yeah <3)
scrolling thru their blog a bit (w/ shinigami eyes) will show that they follow a few other terfs. it will also show u that they rb and agree w shit like this and this (which isn't transphobic but uh... still wild). anyway. hope ur having a good day friends.
#wynn speaks#i feel like i'm literally going insane whenever i see a terf in the tags . and going thru their blog to find terf stuff to point out.#but not all of them are super obvious.#so if u r still not convinced: they rbed the first post from the source which either means they follow this person already OR#they were in tags which would give them this post which is meant to and let's not kid ourselves here#accuse trans ppl of erasing gay history as if they are not part of the lgbt community#and if u scroll thru the blog of the op of that post btw u don't need to scroll far to see 1. aphobia and 2. transphobia#which isn't a lot. but you know. i feel like i'm going insane with red string over here anyway. BUT#jsyk. there's someone to block and hopefully they don't show their face again.#but if you want you can go to their blog and search up 'trans' and find the post i found. and then some#not so blatant stuff. but they did rb a post abt how 'queer' isn't something ppl should identify as and if they do it's a red flag. so.#you knowwwwwww. :P.#anyway. back to living life.
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friendship is cool bc you get to have these funny little guys who make you happy and become a better person or whatever and laugh a lot. but then there’s the horrors (trying to see and message them frequently enough when you know you can’t possibly juggle all of them all at once and never knowing the best answer)
#nightmare.personal#maybe i tell my irls to fuck off for a week so i can just get to work repairing all my online relationships#i won't actually do that but like. my social battery is so fucked#also there's the other issues but we don't talk aboutu those <- diseased interpersonally#we do talk abt those a lot but im turning over a new leaf to be normal#this is late night confessionals. hi i know cool people. wish i fucking knew how to talk to anybody#its so stupid too bc when i message them or join a vc everyone accepts me like i was never gone and is friendly and kind and all that#but then it's like. do ppl think im not committing. do they think i don't care#and like how do i convince people i care when im barely here and barely know whats going on#idk. wish klav was here he's better at fucking online things i think#i think im doing good socializing with my irls at least. like scheduling hangouts#when my gf comes back i need to see her like asap bc my brain is fucking obliterating itself but thats unrelated#sorry this is litrally late night thoughts#dont rb btw#my irl social life is better and i think part of me sees that as more important?#like obviously all my friends are important to me diffeerently but. if i disappear on an irl for a while they'll give me shit for it#versus online that's just life you know but. i don't know.#sometimes i wonder if my online friends know how much they mean to me and i realize they probably don't and i get scared#and then i wonder how all of them have to feel about me at that point and we don't really have to go into that but like#i don't know. it's always a little a lot scary#and people seem to be so natural at doing this online but i meanwhile just fucking can't#i'm allergic to discord servers its a thing. except the one im active in which makes me happy but i still forget to talk there all the time#so im still allergic but im choosing to partake. its like the lactose intolerance of the whole group
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the results are in! 52.1% of you are Correct! (41.1% + 11%)
12% of you have opinions i'd like to hear more about! (other, niche, What Is A Doughnut, not the same thing) i'd love to hear abt what constitutes a doughnut and which bakeries are delicious and miraculously make specific kinds of doughnuts you love.
i'm sad for the 2.9% of you who don't like doughnuts but y'know, fair enough. it's why i included the option in the first place. i figured there had to be some of you out there.
for 19.1% of you i'm intrigued abt where you're getting your cake doughnuts for them to be scratching a different itch and fulfilling a different but equally significant taste requirement or craving. bc every cake doughnut i've ever eaten has tasted exclusively like baking soda and sadness. and i've eaten many doughnuts from many places. groceries stores, doughnut chains, local bakeries across the nation, doughnuts that i've made myself, doughnuts that my family made, etc.
for the remaining 13.9% of you--have you only ever eaten krispy kreme or dunkin donuts? is your expectation for doughnuts particularly low? have you never had a good yeasted doughnut? if so i feel quite sad for you 😔 or maybe you just prefer doughnuts that can withstand being dunked in coffee (even then you'd have to soak that thing to justify the cake doughnut over a yeasted one, alas).
there's a chance that, even with the description and visual aid, you mistook cake doughnuts for old fashioneds or crullers both of which are different and quite good, should the mood strike. but they aren't cake doughnuts.
anyway, alas. the votes have shaken out. the majority has it!
y'know what
to clarify:
this is irrespective of their toppings and fillings. i am only talking abt the taste, texture, and experience of the doughnuts themselves.
pls do reblog for more answers. &if relevant, tag where you're from. i'm anticipating usa/canada opinions & responses to this mainly, but if you live elsewhere and have Opinions, tag & lemme know.
yeasted/raised doughnuts:
doughnuts where the dough rises through the use of yeast. they are deep fried and develop a pale ring around the middle from frying on both sides and raising even more during the cooking process. they can be glazed, sugared, topped with chocolate etc., have a hole in the middle, and/or be a complete pillow/circle and have a filling.
cake doughnuts:
these doughnuts are risen through the use of leavening agents, like baking powder, baking soda, cream of tartar, etc. they can be baked (in a form pan) or fried (if the batter forms into a shape-holding dough). they're pretty much exclusively in ring shapes/have a hole in the middle. they're topped with any variety of things, and occasionally have inclusions in the doughnut itself, the way muffins and cakes do.
#as i said in the tags of a previous rb i have to disown anyone who is Incorrect here 😔#there is One Exception that i accept and owen you already know this lol#so if anyone else out there is like you you are also Granted An Exception of Judgment! lol#and in case anyone thinks i'm being serious#this is a fucking doughnut poll on a fucking website and it got less than 500 votes#though to be clear in general for stuff like this once you hit 100 votes anything beyond BARELY changes the outcome#by which i mean for some reason 100-150 is relatively representative for some reason it's wild#at 100 votes the yeasted preference was in total about 53% and would ya look at it now--52.1%#ANYWAY#fun times love to be proven right lol#oh also the other reason i don't like cake doughnuts is bc the only way they can be formed into a shape and fried?#is if you activate the gluten enough#which means the resultant texture is just Wrong#with EVERY OTHER baked good that uses raising agents (except for soda breads--and honestly even then)#you Do Not Want That Texture in your final product#and it's too easy to fuck it up and make them gummy or rubbery or DRY as fuck#the reason is bc in order to make the BATTER into a DOUGH you have to OVERWORK IT#which makes a deeply unpleasant texture#baked cake doughnuts are better than fried for that reason but they still suck ass
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Disclaimer. I can hear. This is not a hard of hearing/deaf perspective. You know, this is maybe just me being petty and out of my lane, but isn't it kind of rude to add stuff to videos like "YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN'T HAVE THE FULL EXPERIENCE WITH SOUND OFF" "SOUND ON FOR THE LOVE OF GOD" etc? Editing to say it's mostly 'you need to have sound on to experience this fully' comments I'm talking about. Especially on videos that aren't even transcripted/CC'ed? I mean, I'm guilty of not properly ID'ing everything, though I'm trying to get better about it, but it just feels like a weird... impossible to achieve carrot-dangle to hard of hearing people, I guess, to go on about how only people who can hear will have the REAL experience of a post. Only people who can hear will have the BEST content. It's a weird, unneeded type of comment I see all over the place. I'm positive nobody ever means anything by it at all!!! I just imagine it probably feels similarly to how I feel when people talk about this SUPER COOL EXPERIENCE YOU CAN HAVE BY WALKING IN AN INACCESSIBLE PLACE. LOOK HOW COOL THIS INACCESSIBLE THING IS THAT YOU CAN'T EXPERIENCE! I'M HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME WITH THIS INACCESSIBLE THING. and like, is this totally just a personal emotional sore spot? Yes, fully. But I do still just want to complain about it for a second. read tags before sending me an anon about how I'm taking everything in bad faith about this or commenting, please.
#ok to rb! but also i know someone's going to yell at me for this at some point jfhksjghdjk#this is more adjacent to a vent post than a public service announcement on behalf of all disabled people. i can't do that kshgfkj#i'm not trying to make an issue out of everything#i know people don't mean anything by it#i am aware#i know#i am also a hearing person so i'm not trying to talk over HOH people in any way shape or form#like. all the disclaimers here. i know#it just really rubs me the wrong way is all#i should learn my lesson about not talking about things that bother me here because that never goes very well#but still skdfhdkjgh#not vagueing. not accusing. not calling anyone ableist. not doing any of the things.
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#koushirouizumi ref#koushirouizumi health ref#koushirouizumi fam#koushirouizumi posts#koushirouizumi personal#pneumonia refs#c: hikari#(do we even know for sure what Hikari had was truly 'pneumonia'.)#('I don't know how pneumonia works' I just had to read someone say this in a post recently and...)#(Guys I don't know how to tell you places like Web M.D. are at least decent for a starting understanding of symptoms)#(If I've had pneumonia I honestly don't even KNOW I've come down with all sorts of crap since I was a kid lmao including chronic infections#(but Cousin C had pneumonia so bad it landed her in hospital once for like a WEEK+)#(My other immediate relative iirc also had WALKING pneumonia at a point which YES is a THING)#(Can people here please learn to do research..... before writing 'meta' on the charas saying such things... Just... please)#(I'm linking this to Inform but also for my own reference for when I talk about Hikaris *canonical* *chronic issues* as young Hikari now)#(FYI 'Chronic' often meaning 'symptoms that last 6 months or more' {How do you Know That?} I have hYPErthyrOIDISM)#koushirouizumi no rb
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Guys I might become the Joker about this. Just so we're clear.
Okay. Fellas. Real talk. I've seen some of you do it and I thank you profusely for doing so but can yall PLEASE credit the original artist of that piece yall kinda made into an a dtiys/art meme? That's not official art. I am point blank refusing to engage with any of these pieces that I see not doing such. (Even when it pains me to keep scrolling, because some of them are really good!! And I want them here!!! But I do have some rules for myself I try to stand firm by with this blog.)
Like you can literally see them say right there that it's fine IF YOU CREDIT. I'm fucking begging you.
I'm not mad at anyone who didn't know but I've seen SO MANY versions at this point, and I think I've seen maybe 3 or 4 of them RECENTLY include the credit. (And one with improper credit, I think?) Please. Please just. Tack it on.
#i literally cannot go hunting in scott's tag because I keep coming across posts w/out credit and it's making my blood boil#I'm about to go nuclear. i dont know how but I'm going to. this is a threat and a warning#my only means of warfare are artistic. this should make you very very afraid. because what my brain it telling me to draw in retaliation?#Oh Brother. No One Would Like That (some people would actually but this isn't abt them)#((idk how serious i am about this nuclear option bc like i will be torn to shreds but it's also what I KNOW will cause upset. someone send +#+me different ideas to retaliate with so i don't have to do that /hj))#but i am Grinding My Teeth. I Am Rage. please credit and please circulate this bc I also saw people asking abt this so people clearly +#+haven't seen it or other posts abt it. reblog. it is a gift and your power. You Can Change This.#*gripping you tightly by the shoulders like that one reaction image*#btw i am giving you a gentle pat on the head person who i saw find out that it wasnt official via someone's tags on an rb of their redraw +#+and promptly stop taking commissions ♡ i would kill for you (or draw you something sometime if you go here/somewhere else we coexist)#more people be like them challenge (it's not impossible *points gun* fucking do it)#ooc#txt#btw it's like 4 am thats why im so unhinged im like kinda sorry but also not
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