#i know i cant be the first to do this but i got splatoon brain rn leave me alone

[rassicas]

hi guys! im back. i went tokyo for a few days. got back at 7 this morning after taking an overnight 7 hour bus ride.... that i did not sleep on bc i cant sleep in moving vehicles. this will be something closer to a proper blog post i guess. splatoon related convention? experience below

i've kept my mouth shut about my plans to go because its not as well known on the english side of the fanbase and i didnt wanna make people too jealous sorry LOL , but i went to splaket 22! it's an unofficial, splatoon-only doujinshi market/artists alley. this was my first convention-sort-of event ive been to since i was... in high school. i also dont really get to meet many other hardcore splatoon fans irl. i was nervous about it because i don't know a whole lot of people on the JP side nor do i have a lot of confidence in my japanese speaking/listening, but in the end it was SUPER fun. i wish i couldve talked a bit more to the artists i did encounter to comment on what i liked about their works but. Skill Issue very few non-japanese people at this event of course but one of the only english speakers i saw i called out to bc they were wearing a shirt with this exact image printed on it no video and no photos outside of designated areas were allowed so i got like. zero pics of my own. but there was a lot of cosplayers i saw! oh and here's the Loot Haul. a few doujin, a clear file, stickers, microfiber cloth and a keychain. im surprised at how little i got, i think i shouldve gone a bit crazier with it

the one with Tao Blu and oonie in the top left (by sachikazerick) I came across by chance and bought because it was cute, featured splatband characters, and also because it all in some familiar inkling language (the last point of which i told the artist as i was buying) when i finally got home and saw the back credits...

SMALL FUCKIN WORLD LOL (i tweeted at the artist afterwards to let him know i came by the table and to thank him for using me and my friend's inkling language fonts!) though truly, i think ardnin deserved the credit more rather than me since he made most of those fonts! ah well, still cool to see more and more fan works using deciphered inkling language. top middle book is a story with some salmonid characters that i havent read yet but im looking forward to it, the art is lovely. top right one was the first thing i bought. the artist is rk_splaworks, whose art i love, and we've been mutuals for a few years and have talked a bit here and there! i was so fucking nervous to meet them in person since my japanese sucks LMAO but they were happy to meet me too and we got a selfie together yippy <3 also havent read their doujin Yet since ill have to rub all my brain cells together and huddle over the dictionary, but i want their oc lore

ok that's all i'll say, next splaket is...june 22. very soon....im already thinking ill. go again. yknow. while im still in japan and all that. i guess ill have to study harder on my jp in the meantime teehee ...i doubt it, but in the off chance anyone following me is going to the next splaket in june lemme know!

[splxtduxlies]

yes i kno i do a lot of agent 24 headcanons but what if. pearlina headcanons

(aka the other splatoon ship that makes up most of my brain's space)

so at this point i think we all pretty much get their lore - marina was an octoling solider that heard the inkantation at the end of splat1 and fled from underground, pearl was a richy rich inkling who wanted to start a band, they make out they get married they adopt agent 8 yk the Canon

marina's first impression of pearl was "wow this short inkling girl can scream"

pearl's first impression of marina was that she looked cool and would make her band stand out from the rest bc of her "weird" look (pearl canonically did not know marina was an octoling lol) it wasnt long until "cool" became "shes pretty cute actually" and then "wow shes beautiful" and it just went downhill from there

for pearl she definitely fell in love with marina's looks first,, shes not even gonna lie,, she can be a lil shallow lesbian smh

marina for. obvious reasons cant say she ever found inklings physically attractive, given the. yk. propaganda in the underground

so for her she really admired pearl's inner beauty first and most

i like to think marina was not on the ground *at all* when she was in the military. definitely the one controlling the tech from the sidelines so she never really had to hold a weapon

hence, marina cannot fight. she's too pretty & she will cry

okay well she did grow up underground so she can hold her own when she needs to but she gets frazzled easily and a little overwhelmed. definitely tries to talk or manipulate her way out of tough situations

pearl, surprisingly on the otherhand, can and will beat the shit out of a grown man

well she's scrappy so she'll bite them and claw at them and kick in their shins and they'll run away but not without literal chunks bitten out of them

anything for her queen ✨️🌸

when marina agreed to make a band with pearl, pearl was so excited she immediately suggested marina move into her home (her bodyguards were horrified)

marina,,, immediately politely declined and pearl helped her get an apartment instead

basically, despite appearances and titles, pearl is not the princess who needs protecting by marina , she thinks of it Very differently

pearl's love language is, obviously, words of affirmation and gift giving

her way of "courting" marina was buying her tons of stuff and offering to have people do everything for her so she doesnt have to lift a finger

it worked for all pearl's exs sooooo should work for this octo baddie right (she is not right)

marina's love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation...actually its mostly physical touch lol

yk marina hugging pearl so hard they fall on the ground at the end of octo expansion. and then she keeps Going

marina is "baby i want the most high tech weaponry on the black market" and pearl is definitely "my baby gets whatever she wants laws be damned"

growing up a only child in a family with a LOT of money means pearl definitely got the spoiling but. she never got the feeling of spoiling Someone Else and she prefers that waay more

marina does not have expensive tastes,,, but she doesnt mind being spoiled sometimes as a treat i meann it would be rude to decline n she was raised to be polite soooOO

if marina's friends from the octoling barracks saw the stuff pearl buys her now they would be in Shock

but dont forget,,, marina was team love so shes not overly impressed by *all* the gifts

of all the fancy music gear and clothes and things pearl has bought her marina's favorite gift has just been plain ole flowers

they dont grow underground obviously but theyve always captured marina, the smell the look the different varieties she loves them

when marina thinks of the beauty and joy of being above ground first she thinks of pearl, and then she thinks of flowers

pearl catches on that marina likes flowers and starts ordering her tons of bouquets and starts lining the hallways leading to her apartment with floral gifts and flowers in the shape of her head and all kinds of junk

marina accepted the gifts. politely ofc

but her fondest memory is of her and pearl doing a photoshoot for an album in a wildflower meadow. marina looked so beautiful and Pearl's crushing was driving her crazy so she gathered a bunch of random flowers in her fist and shoved them in marina's face because she had to give her Something or she was gonna loose it

marina felt so fond, she keeps the dry and crumpled flowers in a locket with her all the time

at some point pearl realized marina likes it better when She opens the door for her first instead of pearl's bodyguards so now pearl rushes to every door to open it for marina before anyone else can

*bodyguard opens car door for pearl on side* *pearl runs to the other side of the car to open the door for marina*

pearl snores and drools like a dad of 4 who works a blue collar job 5 days a week and luckily marina is a heavy sleeper.

marina is the small spoon exclusively,,, when they fall asleep. when they wake up pearl is wrapped in marinas arms AND tentacles and she can't Move

whenever they get into fights pearl Always is the one to apologize. not just because shes usually the one whose wrong but marina is scary good at being cold (surprisingly given how affectionate and sweet she is with pearl) and pearl absolutely Hates it, its like the world feels wrong

everyone notices because marina is usually all over her, so pearl gets pressured by her bodyguards to apologize too (they always know shes in the wrong)

marina makes it look easy,,, but shes usually moments away from apologizing herself bc she misses her pearl so much

pearl is one of those people who makes sounds and hand motions to express feelings and marina is usually the only one who understands

marina has literally made a powerpoint presentation on all the things she loves about pearl in great detail. and she will present it do not test her

she's perpetually in the "crushing phase" and gets so excited to spend time with her and pearls like "babe we've been married for 2 years i see u every night and day"

if i was allowed to keep going i would never stop-

[clairvoylance]

I wish to know your side order ideas :)

i'm so sorry. im procrastinating so hard and i just latched onto this.

ok so i think the mission is going to be to save marina. she's either been brainwashed or unleashed something (probably coral or black ink-- more on that later) and got seperated from eight and pearl. eight and pearl are probably going to be the ones to save her (with maybe an appearance by marie cause of that one screenshot with maybe her leg). they're probably going to have to stop a ancient creature (dinosaur?) as the final boss.

so as far as marina being semi absent (def not completely cause i doubt nintendo is that stupid) is because when you pause the trailer at the right time, there is a colorful shot where marina is looking out to the distance surprised. the first thing to notice here is that the picture is like, full of color, something you don't see in many other trailer shots, which shows that she's not in the same place as eight (or the possible new agent) is. also, she's surprised. i think this is either hinting at a possible brainwashing (it would be expected with the amount of times its happened, but likely enough) or she did an oopsie and unleashed the final boss. i think it's more likely she accidently unlocked something because as i mentioned with what the boss will probably be, it seems ancient. something ancient probably isn't going to brainwash her because the two times we've seen brainwashing in this series are with technology. something that may be before splatoon modern era tech likely wouldn't brainwash her. or, nintendo could break these ideas and just go with it, because they can do what they want. just a thought about why they probably wouldn't. finally, as far as the marina picture, there's a weird kind of... barcode? watermark? thing on the bottom. it's kind of glitchy and distorted, which makes me think it's going to be a brainwashing thing, but also it makes sense for her unleashing something.

as for pearl being the mentor character in the story, the picture of her has the perspective of looking up. and, no offence to pearl, but for her to be literally looking down on someone, they probably have to be laying down. i'm assuming this person is eight because the background looks exactly like the place that the trailer mainly shows. marie might be another mentor character because of the one shot with her leg in the elevator, but still, i think pearl will be the main one.

and as far as the villian, i think it'll be some kind of ancient/dino/coral villian. as far as the coral goes, it's pretty obvious if you've seen any theory videos on this trailer-- the entire place has a bleached coral vibe. the trees in the square look like dead coral, there's a brain (representing brain coral), and the entire place is bleached white. as far as the ancient part, my friend actually found this. if you go frame by frame on youtube (pressing the < or > keys on a computer; i didn't know this before he told me lmao) you can see a skeleton/bone creature. and we were looking for matches, and we found one!! literally, a wiki page!! for a creature (probably, i'm not an expert) alive when dinosaurs were!! so either it is a dinosaur, or has the themes and ancientness of one. because this was a more aquatic animal, it fits with the splatoon themes. also, this creature had a very evil vibe (if you've played fire emblem 3h, think sylvain's crest spear (cant remember the name rn) cause that was the first thought i had when i saw this thing). and, because it seemed so ancient (and has a literal glowing red eye where there should be a socket-- no totk trailer vibes here lmao) i think it's not something that was created by anyone or just another villian like mr grizz-- but something marina unlocks.

thank you for coming to my tedtalk lmao. im totally not procrastinating my annotated bib, noo thats someone else

[colorpicked-flags]

Nonbinary flag colorpicked from Deep Cut alternatively,

Nonbinary flag colorpicked from Frye

[zaptap]

my non-splatoon thoughts about the direct (since i didnt have any room left in my brain for them after about 2:47 last wednesday)

i mentioned i didnt know if id play xc2 (seeing as how it took me 5 years to get through xc3d) and now that its getting smash rep maybe i will? or maybe i wont so i have more time for splatoon

i remember hearing about the famicom tantei club remakes (they were announced for japan in 2019) so it’s cool that theyre getting localized. idk anything about the games themselves though

miitopia!! im still getting through it on my 3ds..... is the new hair customization options (and likely amiibo costumes for pearl and marina??) enough to get me to buy the game again? who can say. might be worth playing again since the big thing that makes the game fun is inserting different people/characters into the game and id have a different cast the second time around which would. uh... switch it up

best part about mario items in acnh is thats one step closer to splatoon items babyyyyyyyyyyy. second best part is the functional warp pipes im excited to be able to warp

worlds end club looks interesting and also reminds me i should probably watch a playthrough of ndrv3. since it came out in 2017 i thought maybe it had a chance of coming to switch, along with other dangan ronpa games, and tbh i think thats still somewhat likely but i think id rather just watch the story than add to the amount of games im trying to play

have no idea what would be in the hwaoc dlc because im still working my way through the game. not even sure if ive unlocked all of the characters (ive been avoiding spoilers), so i cant even make guesses as to who’s getting added

botw sequel not being shown wasnt surprising because given what we know about it (we dont even know its name) there was no way it was coming out the first half of this year. it couldve been in there because that was just the focus of the direct (which is why splatoon 3 got in) but i didnt count on it

skyward sword is like my fourth favorite zelda game but i have issues with it that make me not want to play it again unless theyre ever fixed in a remake (the right-handedness, the awkward motion controls made worse by being designed for right handed players, and the silent realms stressing me out). doesnt look like theyre doing much to improve it unless theres a secret left handed mode they didnt mention. the button controls are a little better i guess, but im still annoyed the sword stuff is still on the right side (although im not sure what else they could do since you need your left thumb to move link around)

[burstbombbitch]

📜 (something something i cant think about a topic)

      Send me a sunken scroll for some lore! || ★       Accepting !!

            ☪️ —— This ask will center on her Killer Wail — how it manifested, the aspects of her design that draws upon it… basically, everything that went into conception when I decided to give it to her. Thanks for sending, first and foremost!

It’s easier to discuss how this first came to light from a character design standpoint, rather than character development ( and more interesting, because I truly did think everything WAY in advance ).

Back in Splatoon (2015), towards the end of the game’s lifespan, I began to learn Kelp Splatterscope, which had the Sprinkler and Killer Wail. Though she was an E-Liter main, I most definitely began to associate her with the weapon. This is probably where the early idea of her having one came into play. This video was one of the ones that stood out to the friend training me, and it made me remember how fond I was of the Killer Wail.

Since learning how to charge, my phone’s notification ringtone became the Megaphone Laser ( hasn’t changed in three years ). As a synaesthetic, the sound just seems to resonate with me more than anything else in the game. When I was designing Xiuying, even though I was using the Kelp Splatterscope in game, she’s still an E-Liter at heart. I tried to keep her within the realm of the Custom brand ( aka, the brand responsible for making E-Liter ).

Not only were her parents funding Custom, but the killer wail was created by the Custom brand, as noted by the sticker. When it comes to her color scheme, it was also influenced by the Killer Wail. Her first original design was actually meant to have white to pink tentacles, to signify the silver to pink gradient on the barrels of the Megaphone. Her final design, instead, was given pink to lilac — just a few inches above the barrel, but still on the barrel nevertheless.

Her design was intentionally meant to appear “doll-like”. When I was making her, I wanted her design to be soft and round ( hence the buns, and the choice of the letter B in her name — circular ). Dolls are, more often than not, for looking at — so her family similarly did just that, keeping her locked away for many years because they feared for her fragility. They are also silent, as she was upon birth.

The juxtaposition of having a Killer Wail — the loudest, most visible special in the first game — within was too good to pass up.

This segues into her character development. Xiuying was born silent, an inspiration drawn from Avatar: The Last Airbender’s Yue. Likewise, her moon symbolism comes from this character ( and is why she was meant to have white, not pink, tentacles ).

Her Autism and Chromesthesia also add onto why she was silent, but more responsive to color — she is prone to stimming, and her favored sensory inputs were sound, touch, and visuals ( particularly, colorful ones ). However, due to her parents’ decision to cut her off from one of these stimulants ( having been informed that their daughter was susceptible to noise ), she never got to explore them as a child. This was both, in hindsight, good and bad — she is now ridiculously sensitive to auditory input ( enough to have meltdowns and tantrums, if not pass out all together ).

Why was this “good” in any way shape or form? Had she been allowed to scream, as many infants do, she most likely would’ve blown circuits, destroyed windows, and caused cacophony wherever she went — the Killer Wail was in her from birth. It is a malfunction of both her light organ harboring bioluminescent bacteria ( found in her brain ) and her undeveloped, unusual vocal cords. By the time she reaches eighteen, they have properly settled in — but the undiscovered aspects of it were never acknowledged, and thus allowed to mutate.

This is why, whereas her family and many other squids have bioluminescence present all over, hers are focused on specific parts of her body ( such as the “constellations” along her head, collarbone, and cheeks ). Her mutations, too, come into play when she sings — her vocal cords have the ability to project color onto her viewers as a result of her mixed bioluminescence and Chromesthesia! It is akin to how, when we stare at a lightbulb for an extended period of time, we have color spots in our eyes — this is why her light shows are generally expensive to view, and stupendous. You only experience her doing this live — it has no effect over recordings.

In practicing how to sing, unbeknownst to her that her voice had a predisposition, she honed the Killer Wail without knowing. In every other verse where she does not become a singer, she does not have the ability to use the Killer Wail.

Her first talent agent’s death is a result of prolonged exposure to high-frequency cries. Xiuying herself is a catalyst of sound — a normal Inkling besides that, but indeed can go over 200 dB. Her soft-spoken nature after his death is directly related — in that, she tries not to cry or be extremely expressive, for fear that ( in her presently untrained state ) she might let off another Wail.

When I first made this blog, I was hesitant to give her the ability — it just seemed so far out there! But I had the idea very early on, as noted by songs such as Bastille’s Weapon being reblogged a month after I made the blog! Considering that it pertained to a voice being a weapon, I thought it was fitting!

And, last but not least, the Octo Expansion further brings out my intrigue in idols and music.

When it was said that Calamari Inkantation “changed” Agent 8, my brain quite immediately went — “okay, but I want to do something with that.” It’s extremely obvious that music has a lot to do with Inkling culture, so I feel like bands, Idols — they’re all very important in those regards. When talking to @takoruler, we discussed a Magical Idol Girl kinda verse — AND I TOOK IT VERY SERIOUSLY. Don’t challenge our love of Sailor Moon tbh. I’m eagerly awaiting the DLC to get some ideas on what exactly I want Xiuying to be doing, but I most definitely want her to take a part, if music is another major centerfocus.

It’s funny — I absolutely did not contemplate her becoming an Agent ( three nor four ) because I did not want to inject more convolution into her, but now with the explanation that a song particularly “helped” Agent 8, I am wholeheartedly more intrigued by the idea. It seems like it’s more of a “past tense” thing, with how they mention Off The Hook, but you can bet I’m going to think of something to give her relevance to the DLC.

A lot of my ideas felt like I was trampling on canon — but I live for breaking free of what we are given, and making things of my own. Similarly with my other blog, @brushwithdanger, I have put in many hours just to figuring out how the Shark Citadel interacts with the world. I love worldbuilding like crazy, even if I don’t say anything unless asked. After discussing this, many in part with @sangfear constantly LYING TO ME and saying I’m amazing at character design, I’m starting to actually believe her bullshit.

Of everything on her blog, the relation of the Killer Wail to both her character design and her character development makes me happy. I’ve worked very hard on her — and I do hope to continue to do so!

[chasholidays]

Hey love your fics im a first time prompt sender, if you can could you carry on Where Everybody Knows Your Name, except with Monty and Miller, I want to see if Monty gets his customer crush too, looking forward to the holiday fics i cant wait thanks x

Original fic here!

“It was Nate, right?”

Monty considers, but he can’t help the smartass retort. It’s his lot in life. “No, Monty. We work together?”

Clarke rolls her eyes, but she’s clearly amused. Possibly in spite of herself, but he’ll take what he can get. “Your customer crush. Nate with the rainbow flag on his bag?”

“Oh, yeah. That’s him. Why?”

“I know him.”

He frowns. “Okay, that’s just unfair. You can’t hog all the hot queer boys. We’re in a recession.”

“Which is why I’m talking to you. He and Bellamy are friends. They hang out. If you came to hang out too, you could actually spend time with him.”

“You have such a weird thing about talking to people you’re romantically interested in. Who does that?”

“People who want to get laid.” She leans back against the counter, watching him shrewdly. He likes Clarke, but she can be kind of intense. “You don’t have to do anything about it. But I figured I should let you know. Hanging out with Miller is a possibility.”

“Miller?”

“Bellamy calls him Miller. That’s why I didn’t make the connection earlier. But we all hung out last night, so—“

“So you slept with a customer and want to enable everyone else to do the same.”

“We’re dating,” she points out. Monty still thinks she might be a witch, honestly. It would explain some things. “All I’m enabling you to do is spend some time with him socially. He’s hosting game night at his place on Saturday night. Bellamy said I could bring friends.”

The entire premise of Monty’s crush is that Nate is attractive and seems to be queer. He’s quiet and polite when he comes in, and usually puts a dollar in the tip jar after he pays. There are no particularly deep feelings involved. He’s eye candy.

But, well.

“Game night?”

“Apparently he’s really into indie board games.”

“Oh my god.”

She smirks, and he’ll give her this one. She deserves to be smug. “So, you’re in, right?” she asks.

“Send me the details, yeah. I think I can make it.”

*

Monty has a fairly effective strategy for dealing with random crushes: he doesn’t do anything about them and eventually they go away. He likes having a person to idly fantasize about, but actually making a move always seems kind of terrifying. In college, his first and only girlfriend had asked him out, and they’d had a year-long relationship that ended with graduation.

And since then, nothing. Just scattered crushes, the kind with no pressure at all. People who aren’t really real, customers and attractive strangers on the bus. When Clarke was hired, he thought about getting a crush on her, but she was too intimidating, and not really his type.

Plus, after less than a month, she was dating Bellamy, which sort of proved his point. Anyone who went from crush to flirting to relationship with the efficiency she did was not someone he could ever date.

But a quiet guy who’s friends with his coworker and her boyfriend, who has board game nights? That guy’s right up his alley. And it’s a more than a little terrifying.

Clarke agrees to walk over to Nate’s with him, so he won’t be showing up alone. Bellamy isn’t even there, so they don’t have to pretend he’s not nervous about interacting with his semi-crush.

“It’s not a big deal,” Clarke says, which isn’t actually that helpful. He knows it’s not a big deal. She doesn’t need to remind him he’s being irrational.

His expression must give him away, because her face dissolves into a sheepish smile. “Sorry. So it’s going to be us, Bellamy, Miller, their friend Monroe, Raven, and her boyfriend. Apparently they try to do this like once a month.”

“Cool.” He pauses. “Bellamy didn’t think it was weird? That you were bringing me.”

“Nope. That’s part of why I asked Raven,” she adds. “I just said I was bringing my two favorite coworkers.”

“Aww,” he says, grinning. “Thanks.”

“Not a lie.”

“We like you too.” He exhales. “I shouldn’t be nervous, right? This is board games. If I’ve got a thing, this is it.”

“Definitely. Also you like Bellamy and Raven, and Miller is pretty laid back. You have good taste in crushes.”

“Thanks. Did we know Raven had a boyfriend?”

“Nope.”

“Okay, cool, just checking. Should I call Nate Miller? Does everyone call him Miller?”

“I don’t think he’ll mind Nate? He and Bellamy met in high school and there were a couple Nates, so he went by his last name. Either is probably fine.”

“It’s probably good,” he says. “Nate is an idea, Miller is a person. I can get to know the person.”

“That’s the spirit.”

They run into Raven a few blocks out, falling into step with her and her boyfriend, a tall guy with long hair who’s about as intimidating as Raven is, honestly. They’re one of those couples Monty is sure could kick his ass without even noticing they were doing it.

“Hey,” says Raven. “Finally putting your money where your mouth is, Monty?”

“I’ve never understood that saying,” he muses. “Do you have any idea how dirty money is? The last place I want it is where my mouth is.”

Raven smirks. “Don’t be nervous. Me and Clarke are going to talk you up.”

“That actually makes me feel worse, thanks. Is this your boyfriend? Do we get introduced or is he just going to lurk?”

“Yeah, this is Roan. Roan, Monty and Clarke. Clarke’s boyfriend invited us. I slept with him after it turned out Clarke and I were dating the same guy.”

Roan takes this in stride. “I will probably need a diagram. But it’s nice to meet you both. Raven has been educating me on the evolution of board gaming beyond Scrabble and Monopoly, so I’m looking forward to an educational afternoon.”

“Oh wow,” says Monty. “Yeah, you’ve got a lot to look forward to. Did Bellamy tell you what we were playing? If Miller’s understanding of modern board games begins and ends with Settlers of Catan, I don’t think I can be into him anymore.”

“What if board game night is actually just Sorry for three hours?” Clarke asks. “What then?”

“As long as it’s not Monopoly. Then none of us would come out with relationships.”

They talk favorite games until they get there, which lulls Monty into a false sense of security. He can do this. He’s a normal person who has normal conversations.

And then Nate opens the door to the apartment building, and it all kind of falls apart. He usually comes in on his way to work, dressed in slacks and collared shirts, but on his own time he apparently favors tight t-shirts and worn jeans. The t-shirt has the triforce on it, too, just to rub it in. It’s like he stepped right out of one of Monty’s pathetic dork fantasies.

“Hey, coffee shop crew. I’m an asshole who doesn’t actually know any of your names except Clarke. I assume you’re Raven and you’re Monty,” he adds, guessing correctly. “And you must be Raven’s boyfriend, name to be determined.”

“Roan,” he says. “A pleasure.”

“Cool. We haven’t ordered pizza yet, so you guys can get in on arguing about toppings. Come on up.”

Bellamy and Monroe are already upstairs, looking at Nate’s–Miller’s–impressive collection of board games. To Monty’s commingled relief and horror, he’s got great taste in games, some titles he loves, others he’s been hoping to try out, and even some that weren’t on his radar at all but look cool.

“I have a problem,” says Miller, when he catches Monty examining a deluxe edition of Underlings of Underwing. “A kickstarter problem.”

“This is honestly amazing,” he says. “Like–wow. You have the game collection I dream of having.”

“Yeah? What are some of your favorites?”

There’s this zone Monty gets into where he’s nervous, where he can interact normally, have full, coherent conversations, but it feels as if he’s watching himself do it, as if he’s in a video game running through a pre-written script until he hits a decision. He and Miller have a perfectly cordial discussion of games, and Monty’s sure he comes across well.

On the inside, though, he’s basically dying.

It gets better once they settle in for actual gaming. The games are engaging and require him to put thought into them, and even though he always ends up playing the same game as Miller when they break into groups, he can interact through mockery and trash talk, which works for him. Especially since Miller gives as good as he gets.

He’s congratulating himself on interacting like a normal human and never having to do it again when Miller grabs his arm. “Hey, have you played Pandemic Legacy?”

“No, just regular Pandemic.”

“I’m trying to get a game going on Thursdays. Bellamy and Clarke are in, so we need a fourth. You want to join?”

“Thursdays?” he asks, to fill the space as his brain catches up.

“Yeah. I figure we won’t make it work every week, but I want to try it. I hear it’s cool.”

“Yeah, me too. I can probably do that, yeah. Thursday nights?”

“Yup. Give me your number, I’ll text you when we’ve got a plan.”

“Awesome, sounds good. Looking forward to it.”

They shake hands, and Bellamy and Miller do a bro hug, and everyone else says their goodbyes downstairs. Clarke’s going over to Bellamy’s, which means she’s not going the same direction he is anymore, and he gets to walk home alone, letting his music dominate his brain.

Jasper’s playing Splatoon when he gets to the apartment, and Monty just collapses next to him with a groan.

“Did it suck?”

“No. It was amazing. We have a ton in common, he has a huge game collection, he wants me to join a weekly Pandemic Legacy game. I don’t know how it could have gone better.”

Jasper pats his shoulder, consoling. “Sorry, bro. That sucks.”

“Yeah, I know.”

*

Miller’s never been one of the regulars who comes in every day, so Monty doesn’t actually see him again for another couple days. He comes in on Tuesday morning, though, looking just as attractive as always, except now he has a personality.

Clarke Griffin is the worst thing that’s ever happened to Monty, probably. This is her fault.

He’s grabbing a big order of pastries when Miller comes in, so he just offers a smile, but he ends up in line right next to him, because that’s the kind of luck Monty has.

“Morning,” says Miller.

“Morning. How’s it going?”

“Okay. I was hoping you were going to be here. When do you finish work on Thursday?”

He blinks. “Oh, uh–three? Morning shift.”

“Cool. I was thinking like six for the game. Order dinner, figure out the rules, fight over how to prevent disease while the world dies around. The usual.”

“Yeah, that should work for me. Are you getting any pastries?” he adds.

“Yeah, blueberry muffin.”

Monty grabs one quickly, puts it in a bag and hands it over. It’s nothing he hasn’t done for other regulars, nothing he hasn’t done for Miller before, even. But this is the problem with a fake crush becoming a real crush: now everything feels important. It’s not fun anymore.

Which is, of course, ridiculous. He still doesn’t have a chance. He just has real things to pine over.

“Thanks,” Miller says, easy. “I’ll text you later tonight.”

“Cool. Have a good day.”

“You too.”

“Very natural,” Maya says, patting his shoulder once Miller is gone. “Totally smooth.”

“It may seem that way, but on the inside I am dying.”

“No, I can tell.”

“Thanks,” he says. “Really.”

“At least you get to hang out with him every week,” Clarke says, and he glares at her.

“I’m not even talking to you. You’re banned.”

She just smiles. “You’re welcome.”

He makes sure there are no customers around before he gives her the finger. So he’s not that doomed.

Yet.

*

Interacting with Miller isn’t that bad, except that the whole crush thing doesn’t get better. He’s just waiting for something to ruin it, and nothing does. Miller is not only hot and queer, but sarcastic and geeky and passionate. He works for a theater company that does outreach in public schools and seems to love it, and while Monty doesn’t really think he saves kittens from trees in his spare time or anything, that’s not really his type anyway.

Miller is his type. Basically just as he is. And he has no idea what to do about it.

“You could ask him out,” Clarke says. They’ve got their fifth week of Pandemic Legacy tomorrow, and Monty might be complaining. Just a little.

In his defense, it is her fault. She deserves it.

“How dare you,” he says.

“Monty doesn’t woo,” Jasper adds. “Monty is wooed.”

“Hey, that’s not fair. Most of the time, I’m neither.”

“Oh right. In general, Monty is just sad and alone.”

“That’s me,” he agrees. “I’ve got a brand, Clarke. Respect the brand.”

“And your brand can never date Miller?”

“No, my brand’s just bad at it. And I think it’s incompatible with his,” he adds.

“Really?” Clarke asks, sounding dubious. “You’re nerds who love games. How are you not on Miller’s brand?”

“His low self esteem makes it hard for him,” says Jasper, like he’s some kind of expert.

“Your mom’s low self esteem makes it hard for her,” Monty mutters.

“You’re great, Monty,” says Clarke. “Really.”

“I know. But that doesn’t mean I’m asking Miller out.”

“Okay. But you could.”

“I could,” he agrees. “I’m just not.”

He assumes it’s the end of the conversation, which is true in a limited sense, but Clarke clearly doesn’t forget, because Monty’s been at Miller’s for about three minutes when their phones buzz with a message from Bellamy: Sorry, something came up, me and Clarke are out.

It’s not even a real excuse. They really could have done better.

Miller must agree, because he snorts and tosses his phone aside. “Wow, subtle.”

“You think they’re having sex?”

“Oh, probably. I meant–” He glances at Monty, like he’s thinking it over. “Bellamy’s been telling me to just make a move for weeks. He thinks just because he’s dating his barista crush, everyone else should too. So he probably decided to skip out just so I’d–do this.”

Monty’s mouth goes dry. “Wait, what?”

“No pressure,” he says, with a shrug. “But if they’re not here anyway, we could switch this to a date. Or we can pretend I didn’t say anything and play video games.”

It takes his brain a second to catch up. “Really?” is what he comes out with, and then, “I mean, um. Can we do both?”

“Both what?”

“Video game date? Like–we’re on a date, but we’re still playing video games. Is that something you’re into?”

Miller smiles. “Yeah, Monty. That’s exactly what I’m into.”

“Oh. Wow. What are the odds?”

“Pretty shitty,” Miller says. “We must be lucky.”

Monty can’t stop grinning. “Yeah, we must be.”

*

He makes Clarke a coffee when she shows up for her shift the next morning. “I’m not saying I forgive you,” he says. “But I no longer want to murder you.”

“Cool.” She raises the cup. “To customer crushes?”

“To customer boyfriends,” he corrects, and she grins.

“Even better.”