#i know how hes like and if i saw dialogue in a fic that wasnt quite right id know but damn if i know how to fix it

[nieceeee]

“It’s Better This Way.”

P/S: baby daddy!eren and reader are having casual conversation like old times

W/C: 1146

A/N: cute SFW fluffy scene just showing their relationship together. No triggers, light flirting, baby mentioned…

Little snippet of the backstory of my OC (substituted for Eren) showing their relationship dynamic and maybe a few mixed feelings. Wanted to do something cute and simple. (Note: Eren is now in a relationship but wasnt @ the time of conception or in previous fic ‘Let Me Help’) lots of dialogue this time

Previous fic: Let Me Help

“Aye yo, whats up baby mama!” Eren says as you pick up his daily call. “Ugh E, you know I hate when you call me that.” You say, rolling your eyes. You shift the phone to the right side pressing it between your ear and shoulder. “I mean is that not who you are though,” he concluded. You could hear the shrug in his voice. “I would prefer you call me by my name or at least the mother of your child.” you express. “I don't get the negative connotation behind it anyway. You had my baby. You are my baby’s mother therefore you are my babymama.”

Knowing this conversation wasn't going anywhere, you decided to switch the subject. “Anyway, are you coming by to see c/n today?” You ask as you rummage around your room. “I’m going to try. Things have been a little iffy on my end.” He said with a release of breath. You press the speaker and lay the phone down on the dresser. “Issues at home?’ You question as you reach into the top of your closet to grab your shoes. “Unfortunately. I don’t know man. I mean he’s 6 months old. I thought she would be over this by now.” He said.

You and Eren hadn’t been together when he found out about your pregnancy. And when he finally found out, he was already in a different relationship. It wasn’t the easiest thing for him to get back home and tell his then girlfriend that he had a child with his ex. She initially left him out of anger but eventually came back around to try again. Of course, they were still having their own problems in regards to his relationship with you but he refused to let her be a barrier between him and his son. You and Eren had been on and off for years and were best friends well before then so your relationship was pretty much solid before she ever came along, still that didn't stop her from acting the way that she did. You could see how stressful it was on him some days but you both tried to make the most of it. “Well, Rennie baby, if you want it to work then it will. But things like that can take time. But don't get discouraged. You’re a good man and an amazing father.” You encourage him.

You pull a black bodycon dress dress with a thigh spilt and keyhole neckline out from your closet and press it against your body as you speak. ���How is he doing anyway?” He asked “Acting like his daddy. Always making noise and trying to eat anything he gets his hands on.” You tease. “Sounds about right. I miss my little man.” He sighed. You laugh to yourself. “Eren, you literally just saw him yesterday.” “Yeah, and that’s way too long. Where is he anyway?” He questioned. “He is in his crib taking a much needed nap.” You say. The sound of a FaceTime call coming in grabbed your attention. “Damn E, I was changing.” You say as you rush to swipe to answer. “I mean, it’s not like I haven't seen it before.” He teases. “Boy, don’t get cussed out.” You say as his face comes into view on the screen. “Can I see him” he asks. You roll your eyes and walk across the hall to the nursery.

Opening the door slowly you turn the camera around so that he can see into the crib. His face softens at the sight of his son as he snaps a few FaceTime photos. After he is finished, you creep your way back out of the room, “My little man is so handsome. Looking just like his daddy.” He smiles. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re full of yourself?” You remark, propping your phone up on the dresser as you walk back into your closet. “No, but I’ve been told I fill people up. You would know.” He playfully shot back. “See this is why you keep getting in trouble now, that mouth of yours.” You say. “I would respond but I’ll let you have that one, where are you going anyway?” He asked. “If you must know, I have a date.” You say checking yourself over again in the mirror. “A date? With who? Since when are you dating?” he fired off questions. “Okay, first of all, you’re c/n’s daddy not mine. Second, you don't know him. And third, why does it matter.” You respond, placing a hand on your hip.

“Cause I need to know who got you out here in this freakum dress like you grown.” he fussed. “Boy, I am grown.” You laugh. “Yeah, aight. Don’t get no whoopin.” He said. “Been there. Done that.” You teased, sending him a wink. You both start laughing again. “But seriously y/n, you look amazing.” He said gently. “Thank you Rennie.” You smile. You pick up two pairs of your heels and hold them out in front of the camera. “Which shoes?” You ask him. “Nude, you only wear red bottoms for me.” He smirked. You roll your eyes again. “You are seriously a hopeless flirt.” You say as you slip into the nude stilettos with clear straps that he chose. You grab a matching set of earrings and a thin chain necklace to complete your fit. “Okay, final look?” You say to him and you give him a spin. He watched you intently, looking you up and down. “Reeeeen.” You whine, “Serious opinion.” “Seriously?” He questioned. You nod at him. “That. Right there. Is why you’re my baby mama right now, cause damn y/n.” He responded. You shake your head at him as you feel the heat flush your face. “Whatever, I have to get ready and go.” You grab your purse and your phone and walk towards the door.

“If you decide to come by text my mom. She’ll be here with c/n.” You tell him grabbing your keys. You say goodbye to your mother as you walk to your car. “Okay, have fun. Be safe. Let me know when you make it.” He sounded off. “I know. I will. Will you be here by the time I make it home?” You ask him as you open your driver’s side door and get in the car. “Depends on how late you get back so just text me when you’re on the way.” He says. “Okay, I'm going.” You say. “Okay, I love you babydoll. Talk to you later.” He responds. “I love you too E.” You reply. He smiles and blows you a kiss before hanging up. You sit in the driver seat for a few moments, letting out a bittersweet sigh. It’s better this way you remind yourself as you start the car and pull out of the driveway

[quodekash]

I didnt get enough sleep last night but its not my fault qtoey fuckin kissed

hes literally the most babygirl in this entire show

HIM FRANTICALLY CLEANING UP I LOVE HIM SM

I love this more than I can ever possibly describe

it's so silly

so goofy

HES SO GOOFY

they should kiss again I think

babes your voice just got three octaves higher, do better at lying next time

who the FUCK is this guy and why is he being introduced in episode 7 of 16 (apparently 16??? it's wild that this show is supposed to be 16 episodes long (according to mdl?) cos we're not even halfway through the show and 2 out of 4 of the main couples have officially kissed, and 1 is officially together. which is insane when you think about how msp is 12 episodes long and tinngun didnt properly kiss til thE END OF THE LAST FUCKING EPISODE)

(no im never getting over this, they COULD have counted 67 FUCKING TIMES throughout the show and they fucking DIDNT)

anyway this guy is probably gonna be a main part of the drama that's gonna go down in order to keep this show long enough 😭

why cant we just keep the light and fluffy show as it is and keep spreading joy and dopamine straight to my bones

two adorable little munchkins standing next to each other

theyre my sons

THAT LITTLE GIGGLE I CANT

whAT rEAlLY???

he asked if he could hit on you, then asked if he could KISS you, AND THEN YALL FUCKIN MADE OUT IN A HAUNTED HOUSE

AND THEN WHEN YOU SAW HIM TODAY, HE MADE SILLY KISSY LIPS AT YOU

so I suggest you all give up on this "plan", and change to this real plan: march up to him, ask him out, plant a kiss on his cheek, take your fuckin artist easels and canvases to a fuckin beach at sunset, paint and make out

oml pun's an astrology girlie

HOLY FUCK ITS HAPPENING

what the fuck no why does it look like its gonna get angsty, I cant do this :(

dont make me watch toey sob, I dont want that, I want them to make out again :((

im so confused dude why is he so angry

I genuinely dont get it

I mean im watching at 2x speed so I can get through this quickly so I might've missed some dialogue somewhere or smth, but still

why's he angry

idk why he's angry but I do know one thing: satang is too fucking good at portraying anguish

im too tired to process words so im not entirely sure what he means but I think it sounds poetic so we're gonna go with that

(ahem) THATS SO BEAUTIFUL WTF

WHAT THE FUCK

brb just gonna rip my fucking SOUL out

"its like im sitting in a vast grassy field with a gentle breeze under a bright sky" OKAY WTF ARE THE GMM WRITERS READING MY TUMBLR POSTS OR SMTH

THATS LITERALLY HOW I DESCRIBED THE WAY WIN PROBABLY FEELS ABOUT SOUND

its why his heart doesnt beat fast for sound, he just doesnt have that kind of crush, its more of a relaxing crush, like a gentle breeze

ill fucking find the post if I can

I literally wrote an extended metaphor poem combined with a fic about it

what the fuck dude

if they're watching my posts then why havent they given us my satang and perth siblings agenda yet

and where is the markford series

gmm I know you're looking at this, answer my fucking questions guys

I LOVE THEIR FRIEND GROUP SO FUCKING MUCH DUDE

they all just make me so happy 😭😭😭

okay but he didnt know you were milk frappe boy when hE FUCKING MADE OUT WITH YOU IN A HAUNTED HOUSE

theyre holdin hansssss

is what I think and want to happen about to happen

that wasnt grammar but its fine

THEYF CYKING END IT THERE??

BUT HES ALL PUCKERED UP

HES READY

ALSO THEYRE IN A SCHOOL HALLWAY AND IT WOULD BE REALLY FUNNY

WTF

I HAVE TO WAIT A FUCKING WEEK TO FEEL JOY????

COME ON MAN

oh fuck yes next week theyre goi g to a volunteer camp

volunteer camp episodes are always comfort episodes so thjis is gonna be GOOD

PUN DID IT BC HE WANTS QTOEY TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER??? BRO HE'STHE WINGMAN OF ALL TIME

well anyway I just wanna see qtoey kiss again :(

ill rewatch that one scene in the meantime

buhbye for now my friends, see yous next week

[fictionfixations]

i finally reached it

already forgot what chapters it was but know it was like the last few chapters (SPOILERS)

lets just take a moment and lOOK AT HIM. LIKE HES SO PRETTYYYY and tHAT LITTLE SMILE !!!!

also AWEEE

and look at sad riddle aghh (honestly i don't think i'll ever like hearing full on crying, but the va did a fantastic job. like it wasnt just sniffles it was full on wailing)

like

trey: *saying something*

riddles dialogue box is literally just: *sob*

(anyway the section where we saw riddle's backstory was sad. and i noticed that the boxes where we get his thoughts sometimes cover his mouth so we can't see his expression. maybe it doesnt really mean anything but it felt like something to me)

anyway. you know how i got into twisted wonderland cause i read khr fics where skull was them or something? there was a riddle rosehearts one. and it honestly solidified riddle as one of my favorites before i even knew him

also it makes a lot more sense now (the writer gave him a happy family for one though which awe)

also "...and completely lost track of the time." gave me literal chills

anyway i hate the purple twistunes (sometimes the blue and red ones are trippy when notes are playing at the same time but i got into the habit of 1. listening to the music for guidelines, and 2. noting which color came first so i dont get confused). they're so unreasonably hard sob getting the timing right is hard and the music is a liar because i expect there to be a beat so i hit too early because im listening to the music and its WRONG. so i have to take the music with a grain of salt. listen to it but dont strictly follow it. and really focusing on the white bar but you ever focus so much you stop being able to focus like oh my god i get distracted and i dont know wHY (and thus comes the technique of 'go to the hardest difficulty, beat it, and then go back' or like. at least try it. cause sometimes it makes normal easier???)

if i didnt get all the things for twistunes itd bother me eternally. because rhythm is my jam. but sometimes they're so frustratingly hard cause you have to get like no misses (or no goods and stuff) for easy and normal. and easy is easier but sometimes it just doesnt click with me and aGH.

and im SO thankful that you dont have to get no misses on hard, you just need like ss and stuff which isnt that hard because you can miss a bunch and still get there. but oh my god i remember this time i was so used to it that every mistake i made on hard i just reseted. took a minute to think and realize 'hey wait a second this is hard')

pff.

lOOK AT THE SMILE

anyway i assume riddles mom cant influence him while hes here. does he still live with her? or does he have his own place? but like. if youre so used to following rules set by other people then how do you even live by yourself?

i mean. i guess he kinda took the queen's rules to heart, as familiarity and also something meant to be followed no matter what, because surely if it s a thing that exists, then surely it must be enforced, right? because the queen of hearts was the rightest or something

anyway savanaclaw is next i think. i dont know any of them lmfao

(i just remembered- i think riddle was like genuinely gonna kill ace. he like called on the roses to attack him or something and trey overruled it temporarily by turning it into like cards. oop.)

[wonderbutch]

Hi ! I read your post about the mischaracterization of batfam members, could you expand more ? And how do you choose which characterization is "the right" ? I feel like comics are so old that first characterizations are too simple or over used.

But maybe, it is just not on board with dc merchandising plan...

Thanks you !

I WOULD LOVE TO EXPAND MORE but please keep in mind i havent read batfam comics in a HOT MINUTE but lets gooo.

for starters, the way i personally choose which characterisation to follow is the one that is most consistent within comics, which can be tricky, ill be the first to admit. but if your character basis is off of a headcanon you saw on tumblr/a thing you saw in one comic, you are bound to be just. holding onto nonsense.

now lets talk about how characters are talked about, characterised, and seen within fandom.

lets use dick grayson, aka nightwing, as an example. in the current comics, and in fandom, he is often depicted as the ray of hope and sunshine always happy in a gritty dark world. while this may be true to an extent to his character now, it certainly wasn’t the case when he was first becoming nightwing, and as robin. so many times i see batfamily fics set during the time where jason has just become robin that depict dick as the happy go lucky guy that loves everyone and is a ray of hope and love all the time. in reality (ha!) he was angry, he had just been fired as robin was constantly fighting with bruce, coming to terms with his emotions and feelings about being a vigilante, and dealing with interpersonal relationships. he was by no means acting all happy and sunshine. he loved jason, yes, but he certainly wasn’t hanging around wayne manor idly cracking jokes with bruce. however, as he grew into the nightwing title, he became more mature and less broody, but was still definitely a bit angsty and angry. definitely not the way hes often portrayed by fandom.

moving on, lets talk about jason. this is where comic characterisation really fucks up today. everyone, including fans and writers alike, love to present the idea that jason todd was “the angry robin”. from his first appearances, we KNOW this isnt true. he was full of love for life and adventure and enjoyed school a great amount. he grew up on the streets and had somewhat of a temper, yes, but this was usually to do with people who did great harm to others (for example, the ring at the beginning of death in the family) not because he was actually full of rage always. he was traumatised, yes. but full of hate and rage? definitely not. 80s comics are in that sweet spot where dialogue and storylines are darker and more serious, so its safe to count on jasons robin run as a pretty good place to reference jasons character as robin.

now, with tim drake, he is often depicted by fans as a coffee addicted technology genius mad scientist type character. i have so many problems with this for so many reasons. firstly, shut up about the coffee for the love of rao it has no basis in canon at all. secondly, although tim is talented and intelligent, a concerning amount of fans (and writers/comics, im looking at you, detective comics 2016) looove to say and depict tim as being “the smartest batfamily member”. this is just. so false that it’d almost be funny if it wasnt rooted in sexism (and perhaps ableism). that title will ALWAYS belong to barbara gordon. id love to go into detail about why people treat barbara gordon as second rate to tim but i think thats gonna be for another post. also, tim is literally a high school dropout!! as for the mad scientist thing, PLEASE read any other comic than red robin for your basis of tim drake characterisation. that depiction of tim is because of a very dark time in his life, he most definitely is not like that all the time 24/7.

cassandra cain’s fanon characterisation is probably one of the things about fandom that pisses me off the most. in fics, shes portrayed as this mute girl that loves batman and all his methods completely and has never disagreed with him ever. truthfully, as shown in her batgirl run during the 2000s (read it its so so good) cassandra cain is an 18 year old who has limited speech due to being raised without any spoken language whatsoever. instead, she was raised as a living weapon designed to kill whoever david cain asks. shortly after she kills her first person she is horrified, fleeing to the streets and eventually coming across barbara gordon who decides to take her in and give her the batgirl mantle. she then encounters a psychic who is able to give cassandra the ability to understand and speak english. her speech is short, often shown as short direct sentences sometimes with ellipses when she cannot think of and/or verbalise a certain word. however, she loves to talk and express herself and read books, even if it is difficult for her. for these reasons, i would consider her to be semi verbal and neurodivergent. as for being portrayed as The Biggest Batman Supporter Ever, in her comic run she is often seen directly disobeying batman, and has said point blank that she isn’t loyal to him, but to the batman mantle and symbol itself, taking the no killing rule extremely seriously. although she is one of the characters to obey the no killing rule the most and in its entirety, she most certainly isn’t bruce wayne’s/batman’s biggest supporter nor does she agree with everything he does or even his methods. that title would probably go to damian wayne, believe it or not (again, for another post) but, for these reasons i also consider cassandra cain to be the best choice for who gets to inherent the batman mantle.

this post is getting way too long but uhh those are my thoughts and feelings on certain batfamily characters and how they are mischaracterised by fandom and sometimes comics! i hope u found this informative lol.

[gammafish]

Hello!! I am so sorry if this is weird but i just saw you have your asks open and wanted to leave a little message here! I recently re read your akaren/renkaza fic for the like third time, memories behind broken glass, and honestly i just really wanted to tell you how much i love it. i think of that fic all the time in my day to day life. ive talked about that fic to like 10 different people, every time i read it im sharing screenshots, im talking about it endlessly. your art is such a bonus while reading and really adds to it. its very lovely!! i love the flow and direction of it, the dialogue and the interactions. the way you write kyojuro's inner dilemma is so so so good!! i have such severe brainrot for everything you wrote in this fic!!! god it makes me fucking INSANE CRAZY!!! i get so fucking fhsbdahb at the scene where akaza is so fucking out of it and deliriously desperately saying 'next year.. next year we'll see the fireworks" holy FUCK!!!! god the emotions and build up and atmosphere of that moment drives me fucking CRAZY!!! that ping pongs around my brain all the damn time!! when he says koyuki's name!! when he shouts that its his wife....fuck!!! and kyojuro!!! everything about how he felt !!! the hesitancy and guilt and confusion about why he feels bad, if he should feel bad. akaza is a demon, he ahs killed and eaten countless humans. and yet. and yet!!! the whole weight of him not knowing what tengen thinks of him for this? that was written so well and was so fucking real oh my god i loved it so much. akaza calling kyo out on how he was just needling him for information to satisfy his own curiosity! kyojuro offering him humanity! FUCK! and god shinobu!!! tanjiro and the boys!! i loved loved loved the body horror aspect of you describing the human transformation. it was so grusome and wonderful and felt so real and good and fucking fantastic and amazing and perfect and stunning and this whole fic is so gorgeous. thank you for writing something as beautiful as this! it is truly such a wonderful read, and what a privilege it is to have read it! i literally think about it so often, i have parts of it memorized so i can play it out in my mind as an idle daydream at work. i truly love it so much. i hope you have a wonderful day and im so sorry for screaming in your inbox like this. i hope this wasnt a bother!! and i hope you have a wonderful week!!!

!!!!! Hi!!!!

First of all please please don't ever apologise for something so sweet and kind gkgngkf I just arrived at work and I needed something to cheer me up lol 🤡 I'll cherish this message forever because it might sound stupid but it still blows my mind that I could reach someone with my fics like this, that it does exist outside of my lil computer lmao. The fact that you really like some parts and remember them and you even send screenshots to people?? I do that all the time with my fav fics too but I'm so infinitely flattered that you feel like this about my fic ;-; This just means the world to me. And sorry for lack of updates, too, I do have actually a bit written for the next chapter but it's just very uhh kfjf slow going but you've given me some motivation to write more this weekend:')

Thank you, thank you so much for taking the time to write to me 💙 hope you have a wonderful day!! 💙

[dollwrites]

BABYYY I WAS GONNA WAIT UNTIL THE NEXT ASK TO SAY ALL THIS BUT I CANT WAIT I HAVE TO TELL YOU HOW GOOD THE DABI FIC WAS NEOW, CURRENTLY SHAKING, THROWING UP, TEARS RUNNING DOWN MY FACE (AND LEGS) 😭😱 I am astonished, amazed, taken aback by how good and sexy and gross it was I was fr kicking my feet and squealing the entire time 🥰 (and I mean gross in literally the best way possible like to me gross is an utmost compliment lol). While part of me wants to just love on Dabi and smother him with attention, noncon fics about Dabi are my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE like roughness/sadism and noncon just fit with him so well 😍 I always love the idea of him overpowering and destroying a new inexperienced hero and the whole being taken and forced to stay in their hideout makes me feral every single time, if that was me I would "accidentally" wander into the wrong neighborhood just praying he would snatch me up and kidnap me lol. Also when he called you a fleshlight OMGGGG 😳 I fucking wish lmaoo. The way I actually screamed when he was like "we're past that by now aren't we?" and "this time I will fuck you braindead" ITS TOO MUCH I CANT HANDLE IT 😭 I could literally hear him saying it in his voice when I read his dialogue like it fits him so well lol. I love the way you made him talk like the snarky, condescending, and degrading way he talked to reader was immaculate and spot on like he so would make fun of you the entire time for enjoying it and being wet for him. He was so mean and rough which is soooo perfect like tbh I cant imagine a world where Dabi wasnt a sadistic dom, if you weren't a masochist before you would be after he was done with you. You have no idea how obsessed I am with this fic I'm so happy you decided to branch out to mha and write for Dabi 🥺 you deserve to have your ass ate for this fic fr 💖 I'm so beyond excited for any future Dabi fics you write, I would love to see you write about his quirk maybe 👀 might have to request something for him hehe 👀 but fr i wanna thank you and the shrooms for this amazing fic my life has been permanently altered lol 💖 jjk anon

BABY I DEFINITELY STILL NEED TO GET TO YOUR OTHER ASK BUT !!! I wanted you to know that I did see this and I am OVER THE MOON delighted that you liked the dabi fic!! I genuinely would not have decided to write for him if it wasn’t for you, and so it makes me so crazy happy to know that 1. You liked it but 2. That you think I got him accurate!! 💚💚 ALL I KNOW ARE THOSE CLIPS YOU SENT ME BUT I WANTED TO GET HIM RIGHT FOR YOU

I was so going to include something about his quirk in it but I got a little confused on how it works, I’ll have to read about it, I think! BUT DONT WORRY, MORE DABI FICS COMING SOON FOR YOU

Even from the clips I saw, he seemed like he’d be a mean ass dom and I’m HERE FOR IT I love writing them

And you can request whatever you want too!! Im also hoping you’ll come send me some Tokyo Revengers rqs 👁️👁️ I CANT WAIT TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH YOU IM SO EXCITED

[wordsnbones]

aaaah that makes me so glad to hear!! its like 6am here and im settling down to sleep but i just saw this! and now im determined to double down on the praise with ✨specifics✨

first of all, just… What I Wouldn’t give. that fic…oh god its just one of my fav pieces of writing of all time! like right off the bat the concept is great—akaza wanting to turn kyojuro’s brother, not him, and it would save his life. the good ol’ unstoppable force meets immovable object energy. the way u wrote Senjuro…chef’s kiss. especially cuz he’s not a character i ever super cared for, and now i adore him. his lil crushes, hiding his pain, being more level-headed w his sickness than his brother. ALSO how observant he is, and the whole family dynamic. like , him, akaza, and kyojuro, when their little family started blossoming and he started to be okay with them—that was one of my favorite parts. super well built up, at first his feeling of betrayal, then acceptance, then fully just knowing more abt akaza and kyojuro’s feelings than even they did. that was so satisfying, i was giddy smiling from ear to ear glued to my phone during those moments. just..the back and forth between the three was so so well done. like, ive since gone back and skimmed thru just for the dialogue, to like analyze and learn from it, cuz its nothing short of a masterclass.

and then kyojuro and akaza, who, well, you always nail. great dialogue, and great complexity. kyojuro punching him at first, then slowly accepting that he would consider it, things getting out of hand w senjuro finding out, so many complications and they all came to such satisfying fruition! i also loved how you write shinobu and mitsuri, in general, but also very much so in that fic. and then, well, when everything goes some typa way and we got a cute little demon family, that was just sheer perfection. also, WHAT THE FUCK SANEMI

and i feel it makes sense to doubt your own writing, yknow, like from what ends up written and on the page to the original vision theres always something lost in translation, and when you’re the one writing its difficult to not see the parts that dont align or dont live up to that vision. BUT. as a reader im spared from that burden, and only have the story that’s in front of me, and i think that’s why its almost baffling to hear that your humor is one of the things ur less confident about! like, the fic w tengen n sanemi gifting them the collar, and everything that ensues. i was laughing my ass off so much during that one, and that ending was just great. the whole “cat bite” thing w misturi *getting* it. the one where kyojuro becomes a cat, too, absolutely hilarious. the most unfortunate of moments for him to turn back, the 5 stages of grief they both experience. aaaah, i could rant on and on, but crux of it is that that was truly one of the highlights of your writing for me! especially, with all the angst! because that’s another thing you pull off so (too) well, you wield it like a bludgeoning weapon. Last Sunset im looking at you.

and i think that’s the thing: it’s the good writing, the good flow and pace, sometimes laser focus on the plot goal(which is one of the things i find so hard to manage), the perfect characterization, the dialogue that always has a point, always means something, always incites something, and then the absolutely ferocious angst, and then moments of fluff and comedy that were fully making me giddy and manic. like. they all just hit so much harder because their backdrop makes you thirst for it all the more. it wasnt whiplash bc ur reading thru the harshness and begging for the light. so its just..depth and complexity of emotion, yeah?

but yeah!! this got slightly out of hand but i just had many thoughts left unsaid and it made me very glad to hear that i could make your day. your art certainly made mine. :)

hi!! i spent essentially all day reading your akaza/kyojuro fics today and oh my god. there’s some half coherent comments left on some of those written at 7am dkshd. but then i also saw that you have a tumblr, and i just wanted to say: your writing is amazing!!! i’m a huge fan! i love a story where you can see both the characters from the original source, AND the author’s own characters under. like, your characterization is so on point that when you take it and explore it in some wild direction (never thought i’d want shinobu to be LESS girlboss) it’s amazing! not just the characters, too, but the world, the story, the expressions, the emotion. you also are so funny! like, in the fic itself, but also some of the authors notes at the end had me cracking up so hard. you just…manage to really fit so much emotion in your stories, and i’ve truly connected and been been very inspired by your writing. you are an amazing storyteller, truly. and im just fascinated by your brain, honestly; the smutty fics, the blood drinking fics, the kinks, the angst, the gore, the comedy, the fluff, the romance, the profound queerness of it all. i was obsessed w all of it, it was so beautiful. think i’ve felt the entire range of human emotions today, which, to me, is a testament to your sheer talent. i’m definitely a huge fan now! i can’t wait to see what else you’ll come up with in the future! <3

laskdjflds So, I opened up this ask while I was at work today, (actually I was just checking notifications when I saw it and started reading it) and then like three of my coworkers came over and were like "omg Kaz is smiling, what are you smiling about? You never smile" (untrue, I think I smile a fair amount haha) and then continued to tease me over it the rest of my shift

Lmao, the point is, this made my day, I kept opening it up and reading it and it made me feel so light and giddy. I'm just getting in from work and settling down with dinner and it's still making me smile

Thank you so, so, so much! I'm so glad my stories could bring you any amount of entertainment at all, let alone inspire a whole myriad of emotional responses! To be completely honest, I've hit a point where I'm not super confident in the things I write, and these types of messages help remind me that not only is it something I'm good at, but others enjoy it as well :D It means a lot! Storytelling means so much to me, both my own and the media I interact with, so to know my personal connections with it are touching others means the world!

(Also my humor is honestly the aspect of my writing I'm actually the least confident in, so I'm especially in awe and pleased that you enjoyed that so much)

So glad you enjoyed the fluff and gore and romance and angst and all the niche kinks and smut too haha. Am down to let others examine my brain at any time, have fun with it alkdjfla

Thank you so so much for all the kind words, and I hope you enjoy any upcoming projects! :D

[hopefullyababe]

good lord why is karkat such a difficult character to pin down dialogue for

[avatar-of-procrastination]

How do you think the moonboyz would react to a teen reader being kicked out from her house because she was a lesbian/bi?

Oh this was a.... ride to write. This fic is personal to me because as a closeted bi, this is a scenario that plays in my head a lot. It's scary knowing that there is a posibility that your family won't accept you for who you are.

Hope you like this fic, anon!

Warnings: mentions of homophobic characters, self depriciating thoughts, mentions of death, violence and physical abuse.

I know very little about DID. All that i have written in this fic is through my limited knowledge of DID through the show and through some websites.

I also used google translate for the Spanish dialogues. If the grammar is incorrect, please send me a message and i’ll correct it asap. I don’t mean to disrespect anyone

(English is not my first language. Please pardon any grammatical errors. Gifs not mine)

After the incident in Cairo, Marc patched things up with Layla and the group shifted and settled down in London.

They had moved into a quiet little neighbourhood. The neighbours were friendly but Marc insisted on not befriending anyone, considering his line of work (lets just say he started taking up hitman jobs, okay)

Most people steered clear of the duo except you. You found comfort and solace in their home. You quickly warmed up to Layla and Steven

With your warm and bubbly nature, you basically had Steven wrapped around your finger.

He adored you, and was pretty sure no one would have the heart to hurt such a pure soul

Which is why it was a big surprise to find you on his doorstep, visibly shaking and crying, unable to form words. You had a bruise forming on your face.

He quickly pulled you inside and looked around for Layla becasue he was getting increasingly flustered looking at your face lined with tears.

You simply huged him and sobbed into his shirt. After you'd calm down, you'd explain eveeything. How you were caught on a date with your best friend, how your family flipped out when you said you weren't straight, how things got a little physical and how they kicked you out in the middle of the night, not wanting anything to do with you.

Steven was absolutely shocked at the revelation. He would want to give your family a piece of his mind right then but you were more important at that time.

You were tired from all the crying and asked Steven to cuddle with you. He nodded eagerly.

He brought all the snacks he had in his cupboard and switched on the TV and held you in his arms.

You felt him shift a bit and realized that it was Marc who was sitting next to you.

Marc understood how you felt. To be abused and thrown out by your own family. He pulled you closer and circled his palm on your back. The gesture made you tear up once again and Marc let you let out all the emotions. Once you calmed down once more, he kissed the top of your head abnd whispered, "No one will hurt you here, kiddo. I promise."

Jake had never formally met you. He'd always observe the other two fawn over you. He felt that they were capable enough to take care of you so he never truly felt a need to front.

You had fallen asleep, pressed next to Marc after he camled you down from yet another breakdown.

You were turning around in your sleep, whispering under your breath. You woke up with a start, screaming and covered in cold sweat. The nightmare you had was too real. You saw the dead body of your girlfirend surrounded by your family members, who were chanting, "This is all your fault."

You could still see the cold and lifeless eyes of your lover on the ground, and you thought it really was your fault. If only you never existed, none of this would've happened.

You started sobbing once again, whispering, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

A hand wrapped around your shoulders and pulled you closer. You turned and immediately knew it wasnt Marc or Steven. But you felt safe in his embrace.

"You're alright, niña (kid). I swear to protect you always. No one will ever harm you for as long as I'm alive, my little flor."(flower)

[sapphic-sasuke]

you don't need to get to this quickly b/c pleasee focus on your exams but i made more looking for forgiveness fanart ! the second one isn't finished because of. reasons. help kakashi is such a character. anyway gl on your exams LMAO

- amary

I LIT SCREAMED WHEN I SAW THIS. u rly made art for my other fav scene?!!!!!!!!!!!! feeling so touched rn so unbelievably blessed. ICL recently ive been feeling p meh about my fic but you have just resurrected my love for writing looking for forgiveness and if i wasnt incredibly busy studying for exams id go rn and write sm fuelled alone by the inspiration and love i feel from ur art <3

THE FIRST ONE.. little sasuke looks so distraught omgg you got it so perfect, so right. HES ANGRY, MAD and unhinged. and can i just say im obsessed with the way you use my dialogue it fills me w so much joy fr !!! thats one of my fav things ive written like LMAO i was in my feels when writing that so <3333 (also.. i know almost nothing abt art but bear w me) but the way u emphasised how sasuke's lashing out w his arms/hands out n the sort of close up you did on it bc that alone is so much defiance against kakashi in his body language. i just love it . sm wooooooow

THE SECOND ONE HAD ME LIT IN TEARS MAN. sasuke kneeling on the floor w his hand touching the ground like ninjas do to their hokage.... to me showing how kakashi by using the sharingan on sasuke crossed a line nobody except the hokage could even cross... that kind of stifling, overbearing authority,,, the way he looks so stern and menacing looming over sasuke..... MY POOR BABY SASUKE i love love love this so much!!!!!!!!

ITS SO AMAZING ur art is so good i feel so ???? flattered that such an amazing artist likes my story T.T thank u so much amary n just in general ur one of my fav mutuals ur so great <3333 n thank u for wishing me luck on exams hehehe

[wickedpact]

your regularly scheduled ttt Thots

first main thought: sad. sad sad sad. poor achilles

second main thought: i was thinking abt this as i went to sleep but the difference in 'what an author wants to communicate with a piece of media' and 'what an audience wishes to take from a piece of media' are two different things that ive never thought of much before.

i mean when i read ttt issues, what i want is Lore. i want to learn about the characters, i want to see what makes them tick, i want to learn about their relationships with each other and see how they grow over the years. but thats not necessarily what the authors want to explore with their stories-- like, the nicky story tells you actually very little about nicky as a person or nicky and joe's relationship (at least it doesnt tell you anything we dont already know), and thats not really seemingly the point of the story itself.

but anyways.

ACHILLLESSSSSS

i was honestly expecting smth very different from this one, primarily bc the blurb mentioned andy 'returning' after leaving achilles and i thought that meant her returning to the squad. and bc booker became immortal around the time andy was with achilles, i thought this story would be about them meeting and the obvious clash they would have over andy mourning her relationship (that ended due to her immortality, that she had to let go of due to her immortality) and booker refusing to end his relationships bc he doesnt have the experience there that andy had.

but 'returning' meant returning to her and achilles' house and her finding out how she died, which. rip. i just kind of assumed he died of old age.

AND IT SUCKS bc she left specifically so he wouldnt get hurt, and all she ended up rlly doing is leaving him to die violently alone

i was kind of upset we didnt rlly learned much abt their relationship (what did andy love abt achilles? what did he love abt her? what did they spend their days doing after they retired?) i did love the little bits showing how the two were different, especially in regards to how his life as a runaway slave affected him (and didnt affect andy)

something something andy's immortality granted her the confidence to set aside her weapons so thoroughly for so long, while achilles' past as a slave and respective mortality didnt allow him to be so hasty

but anyways the fact that andy wanted peace so bad-- i mean, like ive said before, we kind of see some of the worst of andy (well, maybe not the worst worst of her) even within the movie. but regardless of how much andy is tired of humanity's shit and how much she likes to swing her axe, she's still a person who wants peace and quiet and safety at the end of the day like anyone else.

its one of a million things i like abt andy. she can be a vengeful god and a doting mother and a thousands-year-long mourning daughter and a tired mercenary & on top of all of those Layers(TM) she can be Just A Person Who Wants Peace. her multitudes are wild to think abt sometimes, how many lives she's led

'but the older she gets the harder she finds conjuring their love in her memory when she comes here. all thats left is the hate and rage that destroyed this place. and that will last forever' 😭

tbh this issue is kind of a monument to how much the immortals lose to bigotry & hatred

and speaking of, the nicky one was alright. like i said you dont really... . learn much abt nicky or joeandnicky. i mean

1. nicky misses joe when hes gone. shocker

2. nicky kills violent racists. double shocker

3. all the violence and hatred nicky witnesses over this period bothers him. huge shocker!

i mean nothing it goes over is a surprise and (unpopular opinion here) im not usually a fan of shmoopy romantic stuff. joe's speech is a huge exception to me and i think its bc the speech is Romance With A Point. that speech isnt just a bunch of flowery sentiments, but it actually tells the viewer quite a bit about joe and nicky's relationship.

(i remember in one of luca's interviews he mentioned that, while reading the tog script, he wondered what a 900 year long relationship would be like, but the answer to his question was pretty much all in the van speech.)

also i think ive mentioned this before, but i tend not to like joenicky fics where joe or nicky have a Big Speech for the other bc pretty much all other romantic sentiment pales in comparison to the van speech for me. and nicky's letter in this story is the same way for me. you can read the whole thing here if you want (the rest of the dialogue within this story is mostly just confederates being racist and nicky being like 'thats nice' before he kills them lmao)

i dunno the whole thing is like. im so sad and lonely. and im killing a bunch of people and that sucks. and im so lonely. and sad. did i mention i was killing people. the sun is mocking me. these clouds symbolize the storm in my heart. im so lonely. and also sad.

i dunno, it didnt unzip me. tho i like how the wine was spiked with that sweet 'joe as the sun' symbolism, love that for us

its also kind of ironically Another TTT Story dealing with 'nicky is killing a bunch of people and hes having a crisis over it'. ive said before, im not a big fan of nicky angst personally + the fact that there isnt much here to actually learn abt nicky + the fact i wasnt huge for nicky's Poetic Liberties + the lack of a solo joe to match this solo nicky kind of made me 'eh' abt it. it wasnt poorly written or anything! i just wasnt ham for it

like with the other ones (moon landing one for instance) even when there was stuff i wasnt huge for, there was other stuff i liked, like most of us didnt care for the depiction of joe and nicky's argument in that story, but the stuff with andy and joe arguing about the moon was cute, and the stuff with nicky and Booker's Relationship Advice was cute. but for this one it was mostly just the letter. and i wasnt huge for the letter, haha

also. mutton chop man

god did this to me bc i bitched too much abut the goatee. he saw my weakness and punished me for it

BUT HOLY FUCK DID YALL SEE THE SHAKESPEARE SONNET QUOTE IN THERE???? ? SONNET 43 BABEY EVERY DAY WE GROW CLOSER TO GODS LIGHT

[freebooter4ever]

i’ve seen the discussion going back and forth on boundaries and sexual objectification, and i don’t have much to add to the conversation other than to say everyone is allowed to determine their OWN ‘lines’ and just because we don’t vocalize them doesn’t make them any less valid. but here’s the limits i set for my blog if anyone feels it is important for them to know (<3):

personally I consider ‘characters’ fair game for anything goes, with ‘public personas’ a little more iffy. ‘RPF’ isn’t new - it just takes on a new more accessible/visible form nowadays. i remember reading my first fic about a ‘real person’ back in my LOTR fandom days - it was a story in first person perspective about the main character meeting orlando bloom on a plane before he was ‘famous’. like a lot of these types of stories, it wasnt so much about the person as it was about the meet cute. the actor was just a convenient placeholder with a handsome face and some personality quirks thrown in to make the romance/dialogue more specific. i personally dont read much xReader fic nowadays, but mostly only cause i’m an old fart who can’t relate to the ‘you’ format. i miss the good old days when people actually created OC’s and then inserted them into things LOL. but also LOL if you think i’ve gone an entire year of quarantine without some imagined personal fantasies of joe mazzello (or steve aoki in the years before)(ramilicious can attest to this. she can also attest to most of these fantasies ending in friendship rather than anything explicit cause that’s just how i roll these days lol). the line i draw is i would never post these types of fics in a place where the subject could accidentally find them - you have to go looking for this stuff on tumblr, most fics are given explicit ratings and under read-mores. with the blacklist tags it’s pretty easy to filter things out. its even easier to add filters to ao3 searches. i am NOT going to do something like message steve aoki and say ‘yeah i watched that movie Ibiza like five times, here is my 1k fic where you’re the dj and i’m the one night stand’. but obviously people still enjoy imagining scenarios like these otherwise movies like Ibiza wouldn’t exist?

for art, i consider anything already on display up for grabs, we all know a certain person’s ass is all over the place...all you have to do is google ‘need for speed’ and rami’s name. HOWEVER, in the case of actors i personally would not draw anything more explicit than what’s already there. i’m not gonna draw full frontal nudity for rami (unless he gifts us with it in a movie, i suppose) or anyone. this is 100% a personal choice for me. 

i was a sophomore or junior in college when i volunteered as a figure drawing monitor where i’d time the nude model’s poses and help them set up the stage and lighting and such. there was this one guy in his mid forties probably, a regular who came every week, and i always thought of him fondly till one day (the day after i ran into my Hot Programming TA during dinner and later sent him an email begging him to go on a date with me because i was desperate for kissing experience)(and Hot Programming TA emailed me back within minutes saying yes) this artist guy who i saw all the time and thought i knew fairly well, decided to draw me instead of the model. which would have been fine except he drew me naked. i was NOT naked at the time, i was wearing a shirt, and a bra, and a full prairie skirt with alternating calico and floral patterns. he drew what he imagined was underneath all that. he came up to me after the figure drawing session and showed me his drawings and told me i had been ‘glowing’ and my response was to laugh it off awkwardly and get the hell out of there as soon as i gave the model their pay check. but inwardly i was thinking a) i was NOT glowing for this creepy man twice my age and b) i did NOT give him consent to sexualize my body under my clothes and then SHOW me that objectification. i never said anything to him or anything else, i continued to be the monitor, and i continued to field off creepy advances from him including multiple job offers, but when i finally realized i could just...stop..and i passed the student volunteer monitor job on to my friend naeem, i also realized that what that older male artist did was NOT ok in my book. and it was probably not something he would do while naeem was monitoring.

nowadays im working in an industry that regularly objectifies female bodies. in the past year alone i have had to deal with requests to make breasts bigger, i have been given character rigs that in addition to the usual elbow, knee, and spine joints also have ‘nipple’ joints but ONLY for the women (to make them jiggle for animation), every time i send out a female pose i get it back with notes that push it further into the sexy type of body language reserved for women (twist the spine more! sway the back more! give it ‘energy!’), i have been told to erase wrinkles and fat and pores but ONLY for the women (men you ADD pores bc realism! and manliness!) and this is all me working for a company that is actually fairly progressive in terms of sexism compared to OTHER studios.

like it or not, sexual objectification is a huge part of specifically women’s lives and how we react to that is our business. for me, turning the tables and putting men on display feels like fair’s fair. i cant stop the men from doing it, so if i want to enjoy sexualizing male bodies, damn it im gonna! like dang it, boy do i want to send steve aoki a thank you note every time he posts a video of himself doing those ice baths during the sunset golden hour bc holy shit gorgeous or working out in his gym wearing VERY little clothes, but i dont because i know what its like when someone imposes their personal fantasies on the subject. or, god, there was that time i had to unfollow nicole’s insta for a while bc i had a very explicit dream about her and realized, shit, i need to take a break and get my emotions under control before i can refollow. and god some of the stuff i see dudes sending her during her live videos on mental illness/meditation is TOTALLY gross and not something they should be confronting her with. and she’s not even ‘famous’ famous. or how some fans send their idols explicit direct messages without consent. THAT feels inappropriate to me.

a part of me feels like i shouldn’t have to defend this. men don’t. they’re even encouraged in mass media to sexualize women. but i also recognize the importance of talking about consent. the importance of recognizing that a celebrity deserves to have their boundaries respected. these are my lines in fandom. other people have different lines they won’t cross, and that’s okay to me. i block or blacklist any blogs or tags i think go over the top.

heck, even in fandom-only spaces i still try to keep my own more sexual fantasies off this blog and only in private messages with my friends and mutuals, and i feel like that might come across as unintentionally prudish or judgmental sometimes. i’m not ‘horny on main’ very often. but like...every time i reblog that particular ‘washing machine’ gif of joe mazzello am i thinking about him naked and thinking about how he’s got very loooooong feet, and ‘gee i wonder if that means /other/ things are Too Big for my tastes’ but also ‘gosh wouldnt that make a pretty picture to draw’???? hell yeah.

i dont know who is gonna actually read this essay but yolo i guess :)

[missjackil]

Glad I Came When I Did...

I came to Tumblr in July of last year, I had only been watching SPN since the March before, but I had watched everything from the beginning and was all caught up, and well into my rewatches when I got here, and I am so thankful that was the case. When I got here, and saw what many of you say about the show, characters, writers and show runners, I wondered what show you all are watching.  For one thing, the show wasnt “better” in the Kripke era, it was just different for the first 3 seasons, but that was just laying the foundation for what the show was building up to. Sure, it was nice to have just Sam and Dean in every episode and not muddied down with side characters, but this show literally being an epic, needed to get bigger. It wouldnt have lasted 13 years and counting,if it just stayed Sam and Dean hunting shifters and vampires. Season 4 changed everything, and keep in mind this was Kripke, not Gamble or Carver, we got Cas and other angels, it got darker and more personal when Dean went to Hell and was tortured and ended up breaking the first seal, and Sam was drinking demon blood and became addicted, and ultimately raising Lucifer, we learned that that the brothers were part of a big Heavenly plan, and even had Gospels written about them. The great battle of Armageddon would be fought by them! Had the story not exploded like that, the show never would have gotten a 6th season. So many of you just said “It never should have gotten a 6th season anyway” but youd sit there and whine for the next 2 years about how badly it ended. Sam sacrifces himself to save the world and ends up alone in the dark? Dean ends up with a chick he hardly knows? How does this make a good ending to such a great story?  Next, Dean is not an abusive masogynist, and Sam is not the pseudo-female that bends to Dean’s every whim. I’ll agree that Dean hit Sam too much in the early seasons (remember? back with it was “so much better”?) but Sam is a big guy and it was always a fair fight whenever he faught back, he just chose not to fight sometimes. Not because he’s afraid of Dean, but because its Sam’s nature to just not want to fight, Those of you who treat Sam like a battered wife from the 50s, or Stockholm syndrom gone wild, are just really projecting your political agenda on a show that wishes to not take part in ANY political agenda.  Sam and Dean fight. In any drama with brothers, they fight. Since early S7, Dean hasnt hit Sam without being under a supernatural influence, and no one seems to want to accept that that part of Dean has changed. Why? Because youre putting Sam in the battered wife position, where you would tell a battered wife, that the abusive husband wont ever change. Not where he SHOULD be, as a big, strong man, fully capable of kicking Dean’s ass if he wants to, but he doesnt because he loves Dean, and knows Dean loves him, even if he hasnt always known the right way to show it. 

On that same topic, Sam is not the female architype of this story, though sometimes a male/female formula is used. Normally however, Sam and Dean are Butch and Sundance or Luke Skywalker and Han Solo the way Kripke created these characters. Sam has feminine qualities, and so does Dean, but all men do, and all women have some masculine qualities.... thats just being realitic. I am just as tired of hearing about Dean’s “Toxic masculity” as I am about hearing that Sam is a woman with a penis... well, we’ve never been shown he has one, so a woman with facial hair? I dont know.... but feminize either of them in your fan fic if thats what youre into, but don’t write it into the show, when that’s not what the show is telling us.  Neither Sam nor Dean are bisexual, and I dont care if Sam has never said he’s straight, or if he sumonned a male crossroads demon, or Dean and Cas breathed the same air, or Dean made a mix tape. After 12 yrs, if neither of these boys have canonically dated a man, we can safely assume they never will. Even if Wincest was canon, it wouldnt mean they have any interest in men aside from each other.  Sam gets blamed for a lot, he does, but not everything all the time and Dean never blamed Sam for anything (after S4) that he didnt blame himself for too. in S5 Fallen Idols, Dean reminds Sam that he broke the first seal, and tells Sam he couldnt have known killing Lilith was a bad thing, In S8 when Dean tells Sam what things he could confess, he isnt throwing blame on him, but acknowledging that these werent good things, and may need confessing.... ignorance is no excuse for the law right? And Dean puts blame on them both for releasing the Darkness. In my time of watching this show, free from Tumblr, never once did Sam come off as stupid, evil, or less important than Dean. Either in the show or where the writing was concerned.  Dean may asstert himself as the boss or the leader, and most of the time, he is the leader, and thats alright, theyre a team, it doesnt minimize Sam at all, he has said basically he prefers to follow because it’s easier than leading, but he certainly can lead when necessary. Dean is the infantry and Sam is the tank. Thats not making one greater than the other, thats stratagy. But as far as being Sam’s boss, look again.... Dean barks orders at Sam sometimes, but Sam gives orders subtly, he tells Dean to stop, he stops, he gives him a bitch face, he stops, he puts his hand out, Dean doesnt get cake, he says “dont kill him” Dean doesnt kill him, Sam flashes puppydog eyes and gets basically whatever he wants. Sometimes Dean defies Sam, and sometimes Sam defies Dean... see that? The narative does not favor Dean over Sam. Again, I state that Sam has never looked weak or stupid or habitually wrong in my time of watching. A few times Dean says “Im always right” but that doesnt mean he is written to be always right. Its just a Dean thing. Dean is not the “fav” of the writers because he has more speaking lines either. Sam is a quiet character, and since Jared isnt comfortable with long monologues, that works out pretty good. Sam has more personafications than Dean, more pain and affliciton... this isnt “HEY WE HATE SAM SO LETS MAKE HIM SUFFER!! HAHAHAHA!!” This is showcasing how well Jared acts pain, or takes on a different personality. This doesnt put Dean/Jensen down, his strong points are comedic parts, making long dialogue not sound boring, and showing full emotion while still being able to speak clearly. Put these exceptional talents together and it makes for 2 awesome main characters that are defined individuals and not mirrors of each other, and yet they stay similar enough to be believable brothers, best friends, and soulmates. I dont begrudge anyones opinion on anything It’s yours, you have it, and I respect it, but it appears that a lot of you are wasting your time on a show you hate, that goes against everything you stand for, and treats your favorite actor/character like a meaningless extra, and sadly, some are following you and theyre not having their own experience, they’re living yours. I cant tell you how often I hear someone hasnt watched a certain episode, or a certain season because Tumblr people hated it, so they thought it not worth it. and I have to explain that Tumblr people hate everything, and mostly wont ever be happy with the show unless whatever ship they ship becomes canon, which none of them will. So may I suggest, lighten up. take the show at face value, dont sit there, arms crossed, phone in hand waiting to meta on something you want to be there that isnt, and just laugh and love and cry with the rest of us :)

[kookingtae]

You have to make a huge post and tell us all the dreams I wanna hear 👀

omg so ive been putting this off for forever bc iTS SO MUCH but i think ive finally got enough time to sit down and type it all out (this is really long so if you want to read some of them, theyre below the ‘keep reading’)

the very first dream i ever had about bts was about jungkook big shocker there except it was long long ago in a galaxy far far away when i biased tae! it was me and jungkook making out on my bed, like full on making out with tongue and teeth and heavy breathing and everything (fUCK im getting flustered just thinking about it) and then all of a sudden he sat up and whipped his dick out! it was vivid af too so when i woke up i felt like i had really seen his dick. then he got back on top of me and we were about to fuck but mY FUCKING MOM WALKED IN!!!!!!!!!!! SHE COCK BLOCKED EVEN IN MY DREAMS WTF i was so mad at her when i woke up

my second dream (i pretty sure it happened while i was still biasing tae as well) took place in this olden day village on a cobblestone street, i dont remember the story behind it but all i remember is jungkook whipped out his dick aGAIN AND THAT SHIT WAS FUCKING HUGE!!!!!! like abnormally long LMAO i was like O.O and he just kept on stroking it and jacking off and i was like jUNGKOOK WE’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD and then i woke up 😂

after that i lost track of the order they happened but i’ll just list them out (btw i know ive had more than this but these are just the ones that are most memorable)

one of the ones that had the biggest impact on me happened the christmas of 2015, and still remember it so clearly bc it was the dream that made yoongi wreck my bias list for the very first time. before then he had been like 4th? 5th? but this made him move all the way up to 2nd O.O

it started out as he and i were dating and i had just finished listening to a song he released where he SANG INSTEAD OF RAPPED!!!! AND IT WAS ABOUT ME. it was such a big deal bc that had never happened before and i was literally crying???? after i listened to it i was super emo and just wanted to see him and love on him and tell him how lucky i was to have him in my life. but when he called to say that he was outside my house to pick me up, i went out there all happy and excited and opened the passengers side door to see hoseok -_- i was annoyed to say the least. here i was on the verge of tears and wanting to spend time with him, and he brought a car full of ppl to accompany us on our date.

i proceeded to squeeze in the small backseat next to an already squished jin, namjoon and jimin. and to make things worse, yoongi was basically ignoring me the entire time to goof off with his friends. i hadnt even gotten a chance to tell him i’d listened to the song he’d just released bc he wouldnt give me the time of day. plus, the topic was too emotional to bring up around his friends. so as we went out to eat and squeezed into that tiny ass booth, yOONGI NOT EVEN SITTING NEXT TO ME, i got the bright idea to make him jealous. maybe then he’d finally notice me.

i did some subtle things at dinner, but nothing too serious until we got back to yoongi’s bedroom and everyone started drinking. i wasnt drunk, but jimin was so he was an easy target for my scheme. at one point he and i were laying down on yoongi’s bed, my back against him and curled into his embrace with his arm slung over my waist and lips lightly pressed to my neck. thats when yoongi saw us and snapped. he kicked everyone out, “that means you, dongsaeng. get your hands off of jordan” he even hissed at jimin and gritted his teeth. “ok, jeez,” jimin had said defensively, to which yoongi replied “thats hyung to you.” needless to say, he was pissed.

once jimin got off of me and i started to get up, yoongi turned to me and said “not you” in a less angry but just as stern voice. i remember being filled with rage, like “oh, so now you notice me?!” yoongi acted confused at first, but once he realized what i was talking about his expression softened and he seemed to feel bad. he silently pulled me into a hug and we laid down on his bed, both sad and feeling guilty at the turn of events. then the dream ended with us both cuddling in his bed, his cheeks between my hands and my waist in his arms, where i told him i’d listened to his song about me and we were both crying and saying how much we love each other and kissing sweetly.

after that, i had aNOTHER yoongi dream in the same night where i had the job of cleaning a dormitory that yoongi lived in. so he was basically my boss, but not really bc he wasnt the one who signed my checks. i still had to respect him tho. the thing was, i didnt speak korean very well (yes, it was a language barrier dream!!) and so he had to teach me some of the words and customs of their culture. a lot of the things i was doing were considered rude, so we didnt like each other at first bc he thought i was bratty and i thought he was an asshole. we fought all the time, eSPECIALLY after he made me call him oppa. i didnt want to show him that kind of respect.

but after a while we ended up bonding the more time we spent together (i was there everyday doing housework after all) and i developed a crush on him. it was unspoken but both of us liked each other, and at one point i confronted our feelings bc it was getting frustrating always having to walk on eggshells around each other and pretend like there was nothing between us. i wanted to be together, and yoongi did too, but then he told me that we couldnt bc he was in bts (which hadnt been brought up the entire dream until now lmao) so basically, it had a sad ending :”)

needless to say, after i woke up that christmas morning i was fucked up.

another one of my favorites was one with tae that i actually wanted to write a fic about when it happened!

i worked at this prestigious company of some sort, and i was in my high-rise building office and had a perfect view of my car in the parking lot below. at one point i was looking out the window and saw tae (who i didnt know at the time) in this black leather jacket breaking into the cars one by one and stealing all the belongings. he was going thru them in order and getting closer to my car, so i panicked and quickly ran down there to stop him.

i reached him rIGHT when he was rummaging thru mine, and i forget the exact dialogue but i remember bickering with him and we were both assholes to each other bc i was mad he was stealing my shit and he was annoyed that i had interrupted him. he told me he was taking everything to a pawn shop, and i managed to talk him out of cashing in all my stuff except for one ring that a family member had given me. he seemed shocked to see that i had it and told me that he had to take it to his boss right away. i was all liKE HELL YOU ARE so i jumped in his old beat up pickup truck with him and rode with him to go turn in it.

it was a long drive and along the way we started talking and figured out there was some sexual tension there beneath all that hatred and next thing i know, im practically on his lap while hes driving sucking a hickey into his neck. and then fucked in his car O.O needless to say, we hit it off.

he ended up parking at the pawn shop where he planned on cashing in all the other items, and for some reason there was a photo booth outdoors in the middle of parking lot on a median???? regardless we went inside of it and tae wanted to fuck. i was super reluctant about it bc i was like tAE ITS OUTSIDE SOMEONE COULD SEE OR HEAR US and he was like “so? live on the wild side a little” like the bAD BOY HE IS (my weakness is bad boy tae ok) and then we ending up fucking in the outdoor photo booth and i woke up!

another one was where i was on this pirate ship trapped as prisoner trying to escape, and i got the help of jin who i think was one of the pirates or something?? idk but i was super skeptical to trust him at first but then we started making out (it escalated really quickly lol) and i remember the feeling of his lips were sO PLUSH. after that im pretty sure i trusted him and he treated me like his girlfriend that he cared about and would keep on kissing me and eventually helped me escape!!

i planned on telling a lot more dreams than this but i dont have as much time as i thought lol :/ most of them are about jungkook tho, and ive had more soft, fluffy dreams about him than i can count on all my fingers and toes. language barrier ones, shy!jungkook ones, boyfriend ones - you name it, ive dreamt it.

my most recent one took place at a water park, and all of bts and my friend and i went on a day trip there. jungkook and i ended up breaking away from the rest of the group and were just being cute and doing our own thing. we would float in the wave pool a lot with my legs wound around his waist and my arms around his neck, and his arms around my lower back holding me against him, and we would kiss and laugh and do a bunch of cute relationship things 😭😭😭 IM GETTING EMO JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

but the majority of my dreams have been romance-based and made me curl up into a ball of sorrow when i woke up bc i know they’ll never be real :”)

[icharchivist]

the fact i stopped writting is killing me more than they can imagine. i hate what i write, i hate that i dont get the emotions right, i hate that i can’t write in french anymore, i hate that my imagination is gone, i hate that i don’t manage to motivate myself, i hate that no sentence sounds right, i hate that i always feel like my characters are empty and only talking for the sake of a punchline, i hate thag i cant keep a flowing narrative, i hate that i get so much restriction upon myself, i hate how i want to carry themes or meaning but fail completely to make compelling stuff, i hate how scared i became to write anything, how unable i am to get the thoughts right, it kills me

writting was everything to me when i was younger. when i was bullied and alone and suicidal and moving around and dealing with my family’s bullshits this was the only thing i was doing. i wrote for so long non stop, if i dropped a story it was to start a new project, i made friends thanks to that, and it was lame stories but i felt free to do whatever i wanted. then i had my ex who was a pretentious fuck who was addicted to high litterature and pushed me to write over descriptive stories that only she could read and she was over criticizing them all the time and it killed it a little for me,

and after that i always had trouble coming back to writing, even if i did, i did write again; i wrote stupid fics for tons of stuff, i even wrote stuff in english, about two years ago, one year counting some drabbles. but then i had to focus on my art studies and i never managed to get that back and everytime i try to write something out i hate every single word that comes out of my hands. i come back to old stuff i wrote and its either cringy or stuff im actually so mad i cant write anymore, and its killing me.

its not like i dropped the thought of writting either, its that at the moment im too low on self esteem and everything to get to appreciate what i do. i can more mindlessly draw, writting is consumming, i cant do that anymore.

and its. not something that makes me happy.

so they started to lecture me on “why i do it all wrong” and giving me advice of stuff i already did or try to do but dont realize its harder than ever.

and again as i said its not like they ever cared. nor that i want them to care about it anyway. when i was young my mom kept repeating i was wasting my time writting and that it wasnt important so i dont see why now she thinks she can tell me what i should write (esp when she adds she would love to read a book about a documentary she just saw like sorry pal i never did historical stuff and it doesnt interest me if you want your history book write it yourself you make it sounds like it’s so easy)

and then my step dad got upset because i was visibly getting unease by the conversation (like almost crying and trying to get out of the room quickly like “ye youre right”) and then he’s been pissy like “you know what you’re right you cant manage it” to drop the subject

like why did they even brought it up in the first place (if not for my mom’s own egotrip over the documentary she watched and was upset that i didnt listen to her say that when she was talking over me talking about why i was insecure) why do they even care and why do they have to make it even worse like fuck this.

im upset. im going to sleep. night.

[vidoxi]

just finished mystic messenger and i just wanna write down my thoughts. major spoiler warning + i-might-talk-shit-about-your-fav warning. if you want to discuss with me any of the points i bring up here, go for it.

Jaehee “No Homo” Kang

so when i first heard that her route was just a friendship route i was hella disappointed and thought that sounded like a total bullshit cop out, but after playing it i feel a little differently. i think it makes sense for jaehee’s character and narrative that she would value a friend over a relationship at that point in her life, but also its pretty clearly said that she does have romantic feelings for you but she needs time to process them, which is especially understandable since you can infer that before she met you she thought she was straight and also she’s catholic. her after ending was the perfect time for her to confess or for there to be the implication that you two are in a relationship, but instead it’s the only after ending where we DONT get to see interaction between you and your partner, which is a bullshit cop out. i do like that in the christmas DLC things got a little more romantic but i’m still wanting more. jaehee and the fans deserve what the male characters get, a CG of a kiss on the lips and a confession of romantic love. i hope that if more DLC gets released, cheritz will push the envelope a little a lot more. but i have heard that korea is still really conservative and for all i know making it more explicit could be illegal so i might be being unnecessarily harsh there lol;;

about her actual route though... it was good. nothing really exciting happened. it was definitely the chillest route i thought, but it was really sweet and she’s absolutely adorable and it warmed me to her a lot. her bad ending 1 (the one where you end up with zen) is so depressing, fucking hell. it feels like you betray her. it’s so ugly. ;_; i never want to do that ending and i’m glad there isnt a unique CG to tempt me into it either. her bad ending 2 (where you push her to work so hard that she ends up in the hospital) is pretty terrible too. after ending was hella cute though, i love the thought of mc and jaehee having their little coffee shop together and jaehee getting to actually work on something she’s interested in and being with her “best friend” all the time. oh and yoosung becoming jumin’s new assistant was interesting and i need me some fics, u feel?

something i also feel a little robbed about is that jaehee never blew up at jumin. she drags yoosung like theres no tomorrow and you just know she could say some venomous shit about jumin so i was hoping there’d be a big confrontation between them where she gets a dramatic The Reason You Suck-type speech but there wasnt really a moment like that.

however, seeing jumin all bitter about it at the end was a little gratifying (sorry jumin)

i love their emojis and you cant stop me from using them

also on this route where 707 has yoosung hunting for the LOLOL expansion pack (how is this boy so naive? im worried) and he finds a buried picture of rika’s dog sally instead, i at first thought that he had dug up sally’s corpse and i was like “wtf the fuck seven”

also wtf @ v saying he has terminal cancer. this is presumably a lie, right? before reading the secret endings i thought he was going to commit suicide but now im thinking that (seriously if you havent played the whole game you need to stop reading this rn) maybe he knew that rika was going to dispose of him soon and he didnt want jumin to investigate his disappearance? iirc yoosung’s good ending is the only one that he’s present in, so is it meant to be assumed that he’s killed off camera in every route possibly?

everyone else under the cut

Zen

the worst tbh. i dont like saying it but there it is. possibly this depends on who you are as a person but to me it didnt really feel like MC and zen had much chemistry except during that scene where youre on his roof together. most of your interactions are just you praising him and fellating his already huge ego. and jaehee was exceptionally annoying with all her “muh zens reputation” shit and feeling like i was taking zen from her was really awkward and unpleasant because it does seem like she has repressed feelings for him. fuck and the whole story with echo girl was super predictable and generic and feels like something i’ve seen 100 times before and probably have. my overall feeling about this route can be summed up by this emoji.

i feel like it could have been improved by either removing the echo girl stuff or at least putting an interesting spin on it. i think they should have made zens’ childhood abuse and family problems and maybe his past as a gang member as well an actual conflict instead of it just being a thing of happenstance. it’s an interesting backstory that as far as i can recall didnt end up having an impact on the current day situation. it would have been interesting if he had some sort of emotional issue you had to help him through like jumin, like secret crippling insecurities due to his family telling him for years that he’s ugly and inadequate, and thats why he tries so hard to be perfect so that people will give him the love his parents didnt. also his elementary school teacher was implied to be a pedophile(??? i dont remember what was actually said in the conversation i just remember the pedo-vibes) so they could have made him a CSA survivor but maybe thats too dark even for mysme lol.

also his bad ending 1 confuses me. the first time i saw it it felt really rapey but rewatching it now, MC does seem to consent but its after being cold and refuting his advances so it seems really weird. MC seemed genuinely disinterested, but i guess she was just playing games, testing him to see what he’d do? since theyre in a relationship a year later. and his bad ending 3 (the one where youre both kidnapped by saeran) is pretty bizarre lol.

so yeah this is the weakest route imo. maybe its different for people who are zen fangirls but i personally felt like i was being super fake the whole route, which was especially jarring coming off of yoosung’s route where the dialogue choices felt very organic to me. also his responses to mean things arent even interesting lol so thats frustrating too. and this route felt weirdly short. all the others felt like 11 days but this one felt more like 5? and when i missed chats on this route i just let it go most of the time instead of spending hourglasses. i wasnt feeling it, mr krabs. by far the best part of his route for me was the relationship development between zen and jumin.

now that ive spent 4 paragraphs just complaining you probably think that i dont like zen but actually i think he’s is a fantastic supporting character and i do like him a lot. that picture of him sneezing was my phone wallpaper for quite a while lol.

Jumin

me at the beginning: i fucking hate jumin han. fuck him. fuck his cat. i hate this type of asshole love interest.

me after zens route: i guess he has some hidden depths... i’m curious...

me after jumins route: *loves jumin han so much i cant breathe*

this guy... this cat man...... where to start? i’ve had a while to think about this route and i’m still not totally sure how i feel. “i feel complicated” is a term i’m going to start using because its just too handy for situations like this.

i guess i dont like that to get the good end you had to be passive and compliant and act like you were walking on eggshells. your relationship with him is undeniably a little scary and abusive. i think jumin needs more in his life than just you. but mysme is an otome game so of course youre the one that “fixes” him but thinking about it more realistically its worrying and jumin should be in therapy cuz the dude undeniably has some issues.

winning his heart by being understanding and with gradual, slow-growing trust was pretty touching. something i really appreciate was him opening up and his true self actually being hard to accept sometimes, instead of whats expected which is “oh youre secretly a perfect, beautiful soul”.

i do really wish they would have opened him up further though. there isnt ever a point where he completely loses control of his emotions. not to be gross but i’d do anything to see him crying, honestly.

i hope people are joking when they say that his bad end (you know the one i mean) is a good end. just because its hot doesnt mean that its good lol. its actually really tragic and shows the deterioration of his mental state and how he’s just accepted that he’s a fucked up/defective person.

“I was worried that the loneliness inside me would pile up and explode some day.” FUCK. dont do this to me jumin. ;_; this line is heart breaking.

something thats kind of interesting and worth noting maybe is that even though the other rfa members arent privy to the VNMs and you can give them little indication that he’s acting so worryingly theyre all still alarmed and concerned and thinks that jumin is going to hold you hostage/abuse you, which makes me wonder if youre meant to infer from that that theyve noticed red flags in his personality that he’s potentially kinda crazy.

and man, zen is always complaining about how jumin seems to have no emotions, but jumin finally opens up about his feelings and zen calls you laughing hysterically about how pathetic he is for being emotional. i was kinda hurt on jumin’s behalf during that call lol. he is so supportive to zen on zen’s route. just... shut the fuck up you albino freak. dont make me whip out yoosung’s “hyung, what’s wrong with you?” emoji. i wont hesitate, bitch.

there. you asked for it. feel those judging purple oblongs pierce your soul.

man, just reading the dialogue options that treat him like a psycho make me cringe. usually i’m tempted by mean dialogue options but not this time. i want to protect jumin han. ;_; i want to untangle his threads. i dont want him to feel like a mutant ever again. i want to love and accept him. i am now the president of the jumin han protection squad. jumin han did nothing wrong. shameless jumin apologist. that’s me. no but seriously he did a lot wrong and is pretty morally grey but thats one of the reasons that i love him. if you love jumin for pure reasons (that arent just “daddy~”) then youre automatically my friend and i love and appreciate you.

just to love on him for a minute: he is so damn funny, for real. he’s such a sass master, its great. him being terrible with technology is funny. his social awkwardness is funny. his shitty jokes are funny because theyre not funny. he should be the poster child for gap moe cuz goddamn. he’s such a ham. an absolute goofball dressed as a billionaire CEO, and i dont think he even knows it.

also every time elizabeth meows i fucking lol. its literally just a woman saying “meow”. every time jumin says “elizabeth is just a cat, she’s not human” i’m like “ARE YOU SURE?”

Yoosung

this is the first route i got and i assumed that i had already peaked at the beginning and no one was ever going to top yoosung for me, and that assumption was correct. i love this boy. do you hear me? i love him. “perfect” has seven letters in it. “yoosung” has seven letters in it. coincidence? i dont think so. i have feeeeeeelings over this character. he is so darling. i just adore him. i’ve opened the app many times just to look at his album. his voice is like a choir of angels. i have so many screenshots of conversations with him on my phone. he is so selfless and caring and adorable and kinky and pure and i want him to be real so i can marry him irl.

i’m not even sure how to give a critique on his route because i feel so emotionally close to the situation lol. i was very, very invested. ah. gosh. this boy. his good ending is absolutely beautiful. you know youre playing a weird otome game when the good ending has your boyfriend tortured and disfigured. he really earned his happy ending, not quite as much as seven but its up there.

i really love how for better or worse, this boy is like putty in your hands to be molded and what you say to him effects him so deeply in a way that doesnt quite get as extreme as with the other characters. obviously your words majorly influence the other characters but i feel never to the extent where theyre hanging on to every little thing youre saying like yoosung does. which makes sense because he’s young and impressionable and doesnt know what to do with himself and he says he wants to be controlled lol.

MAN, speaking of that, i love his bad ending 3 so much. it’s so twisted that he’s technically getting what he wants in a lot of ways. he’s a masochist that loves the idea of being kept as a pet and controlled, and he gets all that and more with saeran. that ending is so fucking hot, slkdfljsf. i might write a fic. i have a couple ideas.

oh shit, using that seven gif just reminded me. there’s a chat thats on the first few days of common route that ive always participated in before, but when you dont participate in it and yoosung has time to ramble, it gets really kinky. he says “i wonder what it would feel like to be locked up? just a bit.... curious lolol” which i think is what he says when youre in the chat too BUT THEN HE STARTS GETTING OFF ON THE IDEA OF SEVEN BEING LOCKED UP TOO. “Imagine the super smart Seven all flustered. and not knowing what to do.” AND I’M JUST LIKE BOIIII;;; HOW YOU GONNA JUST TALK ABOUT THAT IN FRONT OF ZEN AND JAEHEE LIKE ITS NOTHING? if he would take the obvious hints that seven hits on him he’d probably be willing to roleplay that scenario. 707 strikes me as a fetish friendly person lolol.

ummm... well, to get back back on track, ahem.... him confusing you with rika was creepy and interesting and they didnt take it far enough. even on the yandere bad ending he’s still fully aware that you arent rika. it seemed like it was building towards him having some kind of psychosis where if you feed into his desire for you to be rika he’ll really think youre rika but that doesnt happen so theres no real pay off, and he doesnt have time to do anything yandere-y to you before the bomb goes off so i found that ending to be pretty disappointing and unsatisfying. it felt like someone waving a delicious cake in front of my face but only giving me a crumb of it in the end, do you know what i mean? aaa. maybe i can find a fic that runs with the ideas set up here. when youre desperate, turn to fanfiction lol.

speaking of disappointments, i’m not over the last line of his good ending being “youre not rika, are you?” like... at this point we’re past this arent we omg stoppp. this line is a blight on my happiness. fuck rika and fuck whoever thought that was a good last line.

i noticed that yoosung is the only rfa member including v and rika that doesnt have childhood trauma. his trauma all happened recently. i think that lends to him being the most fragile and child-like character. the other rfa members are so strong because their pasts molded them that way, but yoosung has no such constitution and rika’s death is undoubtedly the worst thing thats ever happened to him.

something thats been on my mind concerning bad ending 3: does rika know that saeran is torturing yoosung? saeran must know that yoosung is his savior’s cousin because he’s hacked the chat and presumably has read messages where yoosung mentions being her cousin, correct? therefor wouldnt that make him hesitant to harm him? i think rika must have consented to yoosung being tortured then. maybe his ultimate fate at the end of bad end 3 is that he’ll be brainwashed and become part of mint eye.

man he’s such a bad judge of character lol. he hero worships rika, loves echo girl, thinks that jumin isnt potentially dangerous, and even you can fall into this category if you choose to play it that way. the one person he really dislikes is v, and v has nothing but the rfa’s best interests at heart lol.

something i love about him is how quick he is to call everyone out on their shit. like, his finger is always on the “whats wrong with you? :>” emoji, just waiting for someone to say something he doesnt approve of lolol. he’s so empathetic and naive but he still has such a strong sense of right and wrong and isnt afraid of standing up to his older friends and i think thats great.

ahh. this boy. he might be ranked #2 on LOLOL but he’s ranked #1 in my heart.

707

before playing his route i thought seven was an obnoxious tryhard and that jumin was way funnier, and after playing his route i still think that he’s an obnoxious tryhard and that jumin is way funnier.

HOWEVER.

however. i can definitely see why he’s the most popular character. that hot and cold drama, i-cant-be-with-you-because-it’d-put-you-in-danger, dark childhood backstory, sad clown type shit is a recipe for a lot of fans to be in love with you. he personally doesnt make my kokoro go doki doki like i kind of expected because of the fan response but i do really like him as a character.

he’s similar to zen in the beginning in that you have to constantly stroke his ego and i was like uuuuggghhghghghghg nooooo. “god seven” kill me lol. at least that only lasts for the first few days though.

i liked his bad end 2 where youre really sexually forward with him and he keeps snubbing you until you just snap and push him down lol. (“why arent you pushing me away?” “...i dont know. the floor is comfy.”) seeing him finally just give in and be hedonistic and decide to run away with you was nice. god i want fanfics based on like every bad end, theyre just so interesting

the chat where he tells yoosung that their friendship doesnt matter was paaaainful. also that part on day 10 when youre leaving mint eye and he says horrible shit to v. what was it, “if this is what youre really like i can see why rika blinded you”? like... goddamn, dude. i would never want seven mad at me lol.

one of the moments on this route that got me the most was in the flashback when saeran is being brainwashed and is speaking of or thinking about seven and says something like “please come back. we dont even have to be happy. just as long as we’re together i can endure anything” and then he’s crying about how he misses him and.... augh... *clutches at chest like the heart attack guy meme* i want to give saeran 52 hugs and a box of cupcakes and a puppy. i want to adopt him even though he’s older than me and be his mom. saeran.... saeran...... ;_;

THE ZEN AND YOOSUNG DRUNK PHONE CALL AT THE END OF DAY 10 IS THE BEST FUCKING PHONE CALL IN THE GAME. i called yoosung again after they hang up and he answers and its so great too. i need fanfiction R I G H T N O W about that night. nsfw or sfw, i just need more drunk yoosung antics and zen trying to handle him. oh and if you also call seven at this time he picks up and its really sweet and i think it should have been an incoming call so more people would hear it. the fact that the first time he tells you he loves you is in an optional phone call kinda sucks.

oh fuck his fucking after ending. at first where mc and saeyoung are in bed and talking about going to rescue saeran i was like “GDI CHERTIZ” thinking they were going to leave it open ended, and then in the chat where saeran joins in i fucking s c re a med i was so happy and relieved omfg. seeing the rfa being so inclusive and nice to him warmed my fucking heart. and when they asked him if he has the same taste as saeyoung and he says “ive never been interested in women” and zen is like “oh? where is jumin lololol” i fucking died. i can see now why ive been seeing yoosung/saeran shipping stuff and its romantic and not the abusive stuff based off of yoosung’s bad end 3 like i was expecting. but of course it turns out to be a fucking dream and ruins everything. the second that creepy music box music started playing i was like “fuck you cheritz”.

707′s voice actor in the free talk part is great. saying all these cheesy romantic lines makes him want to “rub sandpaper all over my skin” lmao. and he hopes that it becomes a series with new titles like “Strange Messenger and Thankful Messenger”? fuck yes mate, fuck yes.

does seven not actually open a toy store? :c i kind of want this to be an actual thing. its a good fit for him. maybe the fact that he dreamt about it means that it’s something he’d been thinking about.

oh and BI THE WAY, SEVEN IS BISEXUAL. this makes me so happy. bi visibility is so important to me and the fact that he’s the face of the game, the fan favorite, the canon route, etc, is so delicious. thank you cheritz.

on the subject of the secret endings.... man. i knew it was going to be crazy but i still wasnt prepared. these were a trip and a half and genuinely had me feeling shook up emotionally. if there’s ever a time in my life when i’m too happy i’ll just think about v. definitely the most tragic character in the story. he’s not an angel and he’s pretty much culpable for his own suffering but he did not deserve that.

something of note is that jumin was in love with rika but after learning what she did to v, he has such a grudge against her that he wants her arrested even when she’s completely lost her mind and he even thinks about chasing her down to alaska. he loves v so, so much, augh. it hurts. i’m in pain.

it’s pretty fucked up that jumin (and yoosung and zen and the rest of the world) are still being lied to about v’s “suicide”. jumin spent a lot of money and went to a lot of trouble to get help for saeran, who is his best friend’s murderer and he just doesnt know it.

the fact that yoosung in particular never knows the truth about the cult and drugs and brainwashing and everything is a good thing though. just seeing his hero come back from the dead and be reduced to someone so mentally ill that she cant communicate and needs 24/7 care would be extremely distressing and i imagine would worsen his depression. knowing the truth would be too much i think.

i think this game fucked up v and rika’s VA’s too because both of their free talks quickly derail into too-serious territory. v is like “i once hurt my wife so badly and the guilt was unbearable” and rika is like “im going to die some day and i have no idea when...” and im sitting there like “i need a fucking hug, oh my god”

it’s amazing how quickly the secret endings shot saeran up to being one of my favorite characters. he’s so good. ;_;

okay but what was mint eye’s plan? i know they wanted to end the world’s suffering but like, how exactly? through brainwashing + drugs? rika could clearly see that saeran was miserable though, couldnt she? also some of the things saeran said made me feel like they were going to do some sort of ritual group suicide or something. maybe thats how everyone is going to be happy. and the doctor says that saeran was on peyote, shrooms, AND meth? god damn, what a cocktail lmao rika doesnt fuck around.

i love rika. she’s thoroughly disturbing and a sickening person and i can see why she’s so hated now in the fandom but even she is deserving of sympathy (abused adopted child with severe mental illness) and also has good qualities (high emotional and social intelligence, genuinely sweet, and extremely empathetic). one of my favorite villains from anything in recent memory. she’s terrifying and i absolutely love her.

we never learn her real name, which i thought was intriguing. i get the feeling that she’s meant to be mysterious and unknowable, even with all her power stripped from her as it is at the end.

im so happy that the game ended on a hopeful note, with saeran seeming like he's starting to recover and he's either grown out his hair or dyed it back. he still has literal mint eyes though, which makes me wonder if theyre not contacts like i was thinking and are actually some permanent body mod he had done. he got a tattoo of the mint eye logo, so i wouldnt be surprised if that was the case.

stray thoughts (this part is super disjointed and im just saying things as i think of them)

with the exception of 707 (if you count the secret endings as being part of his route), sometimes i get the feeling of these characters being like big fish in a small pond. mysme is already head and shoulders above what i thought a mobile game could ever be, but that doesnt change that i still feel hungry for something more. i want to see this cast in more situations, under different circumstances. they all feel like fleshed out characters full of potential that are just waiting for something more and bigger to do, like maybe something thats not restricted by being a mobile otome game. but maybe thats one for the fic writers, i dont know. maybe cheritz could work them into another project somehow since mysme got so popular.

i love that the characters have actual flaws. all of them have unattractive qualities that really make them seem human. and all of their relationships with each other are entertaining too. they are all multi-faceted and interesting and i really do adore this cast.

so 707 is the canon route but i hate the thought of any of them being canon because that means the others arent canon. all of them needed you. i want a harem route. give me all of them at the same time.

i feel a spiritual connection with vanderwood. he just constantly looks so done. his gender confused the hell out of me at first. i thought maybe he was a trans woman at first because of the hair and name but then he responds to seven referring to him as a woman with things like “i’m going to taze you”, so i was like “okay, he’s just a dude with a girls name and haircut for some reason” but then seven tripped me up again with the fact that even when the scene is really serious and seven isnt in a joking around mood, he still refers to him with female pronouns. but i guess this could be explained as this is just what seven’s used to. @aouba brought up a really good headcanon that i believe actually is canon because it makes too much sense which is that “mary vanderwood” is just the identity that he’s assuming at the moment, like saeyoung being “707″. its even noted by one of the other RFA members (yoosung?) that the name is weird and sounds fake.

i’m never more thankful to be a pale girl with long brown hair and bangs than when i’m playing this game lol

also i love this game because it feeds into my pathological need to help people without me actually having to do anything lolol

is it just me or do the full portraits of the characters look weird? like when you look at them on the wiki and you can see their legs. i cant tell if it looks bizarre because you just never see their legs in the game or if their legs are drawn weird or both lol.

i love the character designs. 707 in particular is very nicely put together and distinctive. and i love how angelic rika looks. that one taylor swift song thats like “darling i’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream” is totally her theme song.

... okay now that im listening to that song it really does fit rika a lot.

oh and Take Me To Church is def v’s song for rika.

the two guests i was unable to get throughout all the routes is @god and @star. star’s is just so counter-intuitive and god’s seemed like such a crapshoot that with two chances for both i made the same mistake on their first email both times lol.

it surprises me that religion is mentioned so frequently and openly. maybe its not as big of a deal in korea or something? i’m thinking thats the case since two of the VAs mention their religion in their free talk (i forget who but one said they were an atheist and another said they were christian). it just seems like an oddly serious and potentially alienating topic to bring up in a dating sim. also jumin and yoosung are so inconsistent with what they believe. jumin says that he’s christian on one route and then firmly says that there’s no god on another. yoosung says he doesnt believe in god multiple times and that he has no interest in having any religion but he also talks about praying and refers to rika as being “up there” and watching over the rfa. i think zen is actually the only character that doesnt ever say where he aligns.

was anyone else suspecting that rika was the one that blinded the dog, sally? i’m glad that turned out to not be the case.

i love the voice acting so much. i think quality of voice acting is sometimes harder to discern when its not a language you speak, but the quality of the voice acting here shines even to my english-only ears. yoosung’s voice is straight up one of my favorite sounds, 707 has an impressive range and is overall just always entertaining to listen to, i love the way zen’s VA delivers his lines when zen is surprised and his howls lol (which were apparently ad-libbed by his VA), jaehee’s voice sounds so sweet and lovely, and jumin is so very... jumin-y and nice and relaxing to listen to.

zen and the twins were so fucking cute in the flashbacks i want to scream. i know we get to see yoosung as a teenager but im not satisfied and i want to see jumin and jaehee as little children so bad too, augh.

rika and yoosung are the only two characters that get the creepy ass yandere eyes where their eyes get all dull and flat when theyre being crazy.

i never cried but i got pretty close on yoosung’s good end and during the secret endings. i still feel shook from the secret endings lol.

why are there still bad end relationship endings for 707 and zen and jumin that no one has found? its almost february of 2017. its surprising considering the games popularity and how long its been out. is datamining not a thing with mobile games? or does the fandom not have anyone who knows how to datamine, or what?

ships im particularly interested in: jumin/v, jumin/zen, jumin/yoosung, yoosung/seven, yoosung/jaehee, yoosung/zen, yoosung/saeran, seven/saeran because i have no shame, mc/everyone, like literally just every ship tbh because i love every character hnnng

i had no idea that buying the christmas DLC gets you another free talk with the VAs. yoosung’s VA is so cute. “please get your flu shots if you havent already”.

not sure what to do now. i definitely want to replay yoosung. and i want to hunt for all the CGs and phone calls too, but i dont want to spend $20 on the calling cards lol. would buying them even be a better deal than just spending the same money on hourglasses? $26 gets you 1000 hourglasses which is more than you’d ever need, right? it seems like the better deal, unless youre not using a phone call guide for some reason and want to try to just discover them all on your own.

i’m super excited for more DLC. i definitely think there will be more because when you open the DLC folder, the christmas DLC is shoved off to the left, making room for at least one more. also just the nature of it being a DLC folder and not a direct button to the christmas DLC.

... i guess thats all i have to say lol;;; bless cheritz. this game is fantastic and has consumed my life and ruined my sleep for the past almost three months and i had so much fun and i hope they get even more ambitious with their future projects.