#i know everywhere i go I'll be risking spoilers

[vasattope]

Yesterday was Luffy, today is Zoro... I guess tomorrow we'll see Nami then 👀

[bugrry]

you're the thing that's crystal clear

hbo!joel miller x fem!reader

hello lovebugs!!

a/n: after thirteen months of no new writing, the inspiration bug finally bit me again! please please please let me know what you think! hopefully i'll have more works coming out in the next few months, fingers crossed! :EDIT: at first i'd had it written that it was a gn reader, forgetting that i'd used she/her pronouns for the reader. so sorry!

in this fic there are spoilers for episode six of the last of us AND i have not played the game, so if there are any inaccuracies, sorry!

tags/warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, reader and joel reuniting (let me know if i missed/forgot about anything!)

word count: 3,105

part two

Joel and Ellie had been at the commune for three whole hours before Joel can bring himself to ask about you. 

“Where is she?” Joel finally asks as the four of them sit together and enjoy their meal. Tommy sighs, as though he’d been waiting for Joel to ask the question. He probably had been. 

“I don’t know, Joel,” Tommy grunted, piercing the last morsel on his plate with his fork. 

“You said she came here with you,” Joel grumbles, his voice just above a whisper. 

“I also said she didn’t want to talk to you,” Tommy responds, swallowing and standing. He grabs his and Maria’s plate once she indicates that she’s done eating. Tommy moves to go to the kitchen, and Joel is following close behind him.

“So she’s here.” He tries to hide the desperation in his voice, but he doesn’t think he was all that convincing. He also doesn’t think he really cares. 

Tommy turns to him, almost snatching Joel’s plate out of his hands. “I’ll tell her you’re here. Let her decide what to do about it. Don’t you dare go lookin’ for her.” 

Joel sighs as he watches Tommy walk away from him, and he decides that he’s going to explore the rest of the commune. He eventually finds himself alone, sitting at a bar in an empty restaurant, thinking about the last time he saw you.

Three Years Ago

“Joel please!” You begged from where you stood with your half-packed backpack.

“No. I’m not joinin’ those Firefly fucks.” He stood tall and intimidating in front of you, almost like he was going to physically stop you from leaving. 

“Even if I have to go?” You said sharply, turning to grab another essential from your small cabinet. 

“You don’t have to go.” Joel almost scoffed. 

“I’ll die if I stay here.” 

“I’ll protect you!” Joel’s hands flew out from where they’d been at his sides. You flinched at the movement and the sudden change in his tone. 

“You can’t. Not from this.” You mumbled, just barely loud enough for him to hear. 

“From what?!” He continued to speak harshly, and you had to push through the instinct to just shut down. 

You dropped what you’d been holding, pressing the palms of your hands into the edge of the counter.  

“From myself!” You took a deep breath and finally turned to face him. “I am rotting here, Joel. I need to get out. For good.”

You had tried so hard to find a purpose here, with him, but every passing day only convinced you further that staying in Boston would kill you. One way or another, you knew that staying here would lead to you being just another one of the bodies that Joel had to toss in the pit. You shuddered at the thought. 

“You’ll rot there too! You can’t pick and choose your life anymore, Y/N! It’s like this everywhere!”

You shook your head, feeling heat rush into your face. “It doesn’t have to be! What if there’s something else out there? Something better?”

“You want to risk your life to find out?”

“Yes, Joel! I have to!” You heard your voice crack, and it was evident that the desperation in your body language had finally seeped its way into your words. 

“Fine!” He barked, turning towards his liquor cabinet as you finished shoving your things into your bag.

“Fine!” You pushed the whimper out of your voice as you zipped your bag shut and made your way out of your shared apartment. 

Once you’d slammed the door shut behind you, you pressed your back against the weakened wood. You shut your eyes as tight as you could, trying to will the tears away as you left down the stairs to where Tommy was waiting for you outside. 

Present Day, 2023

“Joel?” A soft voice comes from behind where Joel had parked himself at the bar. Joel’s head snaps up at your near-silent entrance. “Is that you?”

“...Y/N?” He curses himself for letting someone sneak up on him yet again. But once he sees your face, sees that you’re okay and alive he feels himself deflate. He hadn’t heard from you since you left, only getting bits and pieces from his brother, though Tommy had refused to give Joel much more than that. Joel was sure that had been at your request. After a while, Joel had stopped hearing from Tommy altogether, and thus lost access to whatever minuscule amounts of information he’d been getting about you. 

“They said that Tommy’s brother had come through. Guess they weren’t lyin’.”

“Guess they weren’t.” He mumbles, turning back to where he’d been picking at the chipping wood of the bar.

“You’re really gonna leave her?” You say softly, coming around to the other side of the bar. You pull two glasses from under the counter and turn to grab a bottle of whiskey off the shelf behind you. 

“Shit. How fast does word spread around here?” Joel says, watching your every move, trying to memorize the way you fit into this place so naturally, trying to convince himself that you’re happier here. Without him. 

“Fast enough.” You sigh, placing a half-full glass in front of him. “Dammit.” He doesn’t grab the glass right away, staring at the sloshing liquid until it stills. 

“You can’t leave her.” You say, resting your now empty hand against your hip. 

“Like you left me?”

You sigh, moving to pull a stool from under the counter. You can’t bring yourself to sit directly next to him, not yet. You needed the foot of space that the bar provided to keep you from completely drowning yourself in his presence. “I didn’t have a choice, you know that. You meant the world to me. You still do."

“Do I?” “Joel.” You hesitate. “Do I?” He barks, and there’s a harshness to his words that hadn’t been there when he’d first asked the question. You appear to flinch, but he chooses not to comment on your obvious apprehension. You take a minute to compose yourself before beginning to speak.

“Of course you do. There hasn’t been anyone since you. I don’t know if there ever will be.” You look down at the bar in front of you, daring only once to sneak a peek at Joel’s hands that had finally clasped around the glass. “You don’t have to lie for me. I’m a big boy.” He takes a swig of his drink, grimacing at the pleasant burn it left as it traveled down his throat. “I’m not lyin’. You were it for me.” You continue to avoid his eyes as you busied yourself with wiping down the counter.

Joel grumbled, wanting to drop his head onto the old wood in front of him. “You’re too young for me to have been it for you.” “Maybe so, but I loved you.” “Loved?” “What does it matter to you?” You snap, finally looking up at him and meeting his eyes. It was then that you noticed just how tired he was. Sure, he’d been grizzled and tired when you’d last seen him, but it seemed that the last three years had aged him faster than the previous seventeen had. 

“Never mind.” He says, breaking eye contact and looking back down at where his fingers traced the carvings in the glass. 

You soften, realizing just how much you’d truly missed him, how much you still miss him. You miss the way he’d hold you after a supply run went wrong – or right, for that matter. Joel had loved holding you whenever he got the chance. You miss the way he’d laugh at one of your shitty jokes, playfully pushing you away from him as you tried to get him to admit he’d found it funny. You blush when the thought pops into your head, but you also miss the way he’d put his whole body into kissing you, always made you lose yourself in the feel of his lips, his hands, and his thighs pressed against your body. You didn’t want to dig yourself any deeper of a hole, so you decide to bring the topic back to something you could think about without wanting to scream. 

“Please don’t leave her, Joel.”

Joel groans, looking back up at you and frowning, “We’re back on this?”

“It’s important. I can tell how much she means to you.” “It’s none of your business,” he says, taking a final swig of his drink. 

“Isn’t it?”

He shakes his head, looking down at the empty glass in front of him, “Nope.”

“I suppose it’s not,” you relent, moving to pour him another few ounces. He lets you.

“I’m glad we finally agree on something.”

You nod, looking down at the bottle in your hands. You place the bottle back on the shelf, turning back to take a drink out of your own glass. You decide to push it further. 

“Ellie’s not going to let you leave her.”

Joel sighs as if he’s annoyed that the conversation has continued, but he doesn’t leave. For that, you are thankful.

“What do you know about her?” He demands quietly, still refusing to look back up at you.

“I know enough.”

“I’m not gonna leave her,” he concedes, “I’m gonna give her a choice. Let her stay here or come with me.”

“She’s gonna choose you.”

“How do you know? You didn’t.” 

“That was different.” “Was it?” He grunts. 

“Yes. Because I regret it.” At this, his eyes snap up to meet yours. You’re looking at him sadly, as if it was obvious, as if he should have known that you regretted leaving him. Maybe he should have. He doesn’t say anything for a long while, just staring at you and watching the tears pool in your eyes.

“Oh,” is all he comes up with, and you frown. 

“Is that what you wanted to hear? That I regret leaving you? That I’ve been miserable this whole time without you?”

“No, of course not,” he says sincerely. 

You scoff, rolling your eyes and taking another drink from your glass, “Yeah right.”

“You think I wanted you to be miserable?” Joel says, finally standing from his seat at the bar, “I’ve thought about you every day since you left. I didn’t want to let you leave, but I also knew I had no power to stop you. I knew you were miserable in Boston. I knew I couldn’t convince you to stay.” “Even with how miserable leaving you made me feel, I think it was the right choice.” Joel frowns again, and the wrinkles around his eyes become only more prominent. You yearn to press the obvious hurt out of his face. You don’t let him speak, holding up your hand as you continue talking.

“I think I had to leave you. I don’t think I realized how important you were to me until I didn’t have you anymore.” At your words, Joel's frown only hardens. “You don’t mean that.”

“Don’t you tell me what I mean, Joel Miller,” you snap, your back straightening from where you’d been leaning against the shelf. 

“If I was so important to you, why didn’t you come back?”

“I didn’t think you wanted me back.” 

Joel’s face softens. He looks at you like you’ve just told him the most heartbreaking news he’d ever heard. “What?” He says it so quietly you almost miss it, “You thought…” he trails off, not allowing himself to finish the thought. 

“I thought you hated me.” You blurt. You curse yourself, you’d meant to say it softer than that, to maybe sugarcoat it a little bit. 

“You thought I hated you?” You don’t answer him this time, merely shrugging and looking down and tracing the grain pattern of the bar. “I could never hate you.”

He says it so harshly you feel as though you’re being scolded, and it only makes you shrink further in on yourself. He notices your shift and softens. He comes around your side of the bar, needing to be close to you, to feel your warmth again. You allow him to approach you, and when you don’t shy away from him, he feels a part of him that has been asleep for three years reawaken. He is filled with a sort of warmth that he never thought he’d feel again as he reaches up to cup your face, speaking softly, “Sweetheart, I could never hate you. Never in a million years could I hate you.” He brushes his thumb over your cheek, and he may be imagining it, but he thinks he feels you press your face into his hand. You close your eyes, but he has more to say.

“Y/N, listen to me. We’ve been through too much for me to ever hate you. I’ve seen you at your absolute worst and I still wanted you so bad it hurt.”

You pull away from his touch, and he feels cold again.

“That was before I left,” You say, almost as if you’re ashamed of yourself.

“That’s true. Even after that, though. I never hated you. Not for a second.” “Don’t lie to me Joel,” you almost whimper, and you shut your eyes in embarrassment at letting your voice crack.

“I’m not lying to you. Sure, I was pissed. Heartbroken, even. I thought you and Tommy were idiots for leaving, but there’s no way in hell I ever hated you for it.”

You give a non-commital shrug, still avoiding eye contact with him, “sure,” you eventually mumble.

“I’m telling you the truth. I have to reason to lie to you.”

“To spare my feelings, maybe.” You say softly, now fidgeting with your fingers.

“When have I ever done that?”

This makes you chuckle quietly, and he’s filled with a sort of pride that warms him from the inside out. There’s my girl, he finds himself thinking. Your laugh and your smile fades, and with it, that fuzzy feeling in Joel’s chest. 

“You should hate me.” You finally say. 

“I know,” he says, reaching up to touch you again. This time, he reaches for your hair, pushing a lock of it from your face, “But I can’t bring myself to.”

It's quiet for a few moments before you speak again, “I thought I hated you.” Joel’s hand drops from your face.

“What?” He tries to keep the fear out of his voice, and from your lack of reaction, he hopes that he’s succeeded. 

“I thought I hated you because you let me leave so easily. I thought you’d just decided you didn’t need me anymore. That I wasn’t worth fighting for. That was stupid, I realize that now. But I wrote some pretty bitter things about you in my journal.”

Joel’s hand moves back up to your face, this time to brush away the tears that had fallen down your cheeks, “I could never not need you.”

You shake your head, moving out of his grip again. “You did just fine for more than a decade without me.”

“Maybe I just didn’t realize how alone I was.”

This makes you laugh again, but not in a way that fills Joel with warmth. It’s bitter, doubtful, and angry.

“I could show you,” he starts again, moving back into your personal space, “if you’d let me. I could show you how much you meant to me. How much you still mean to me.”

“I don’t…” you start, but he doesn’t let you finish.

“If you’d let me, I’d spend the rest of my life showing you how much you mean to me.”

“Joel…” you start again, but this time you let yourself trail off, not knowing what you were going to say, just knowing that you should probably say something.

“Please sugar,” he starts again, placing his hands softly on your shoulders. You don’t move any closer, but you also don’t move away, so Joel keeps going, “You said it yourself. There’s still a small part of you that loves me, even if you probably shouldn’t.”

You mumble something to yourself, something Joel couldn’t make out. He reaches up to move your face towards him, to force you to look at him. You obey his silent request, looking up and into his eyes that were somehow still so soft, even after all these years. 

“It’s not a small part of me, Joel,” you say again, speaking louder this time, “It was never a small fucking part. My whole being was devoted to you. It tore me apart to leave you. I was useless on the road. Once we were with the Fireflies, I threw myself into my work and my chores so that I didn’t have to think about the huge Joel-shaped piece that was missing from my heart. I hate myself for leaving, and I hate myself even more for not going back to Boston and fighting for you. I was a coward. I still am.”

By the time you’re finished talking, tears are streaming down your face. Joel is looking at you with the softest eyes you’ve ever seen, and it makes you want to curl into a ball and never speak to anyone again. He lets you cry for a moment before he responds.

“If you’re a coward, then I’m a coward too. I could have just as easily come looking for you.” “I never expected you to.” You squeak out, in between your sobs “And I never expected you to come back. That doesn’t mean I got over you leaving. I didn’t think I’d ever get over it. And I hadn’t, not until I saw you here.”

Once he finishes speaking, he finally pulls you into his chest and just lets you sob into him. He doesn’t know how long the two of you stand there, in that empty bar, with his arms wrapped around you, but what he does know is that he never wants to let you go. Eventually, your sobs fade to quiet sniffles and you shift in order to wrap your arms around his body. Even though the two of you are pressed against each other, the way you grab at him makes it seem as though you need him even closer. You mumble something into his chest that he can’t quite make out, so he pulls you away from him. You whine at the loss of his touch, but you quiet once you see how he looks at you.

“What was that, sweetheart?”

“I said I love you.” You sniffle, reaching up and wiping a tear from his face.

“I love you too, Y/N. God, do I love you.”

-

part two

[sylvia-forest]

[CN] Shaw's Dual Cultivation Pact Date - Part 2

⚡Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a Date which hasn’t been released in EN yet!⚡

Proceed at your own risk, I guess? 😂 Although it's not that spicy but still, a warning is a warning 🤭

[Section 3]

A month had passed since I had "swept Shaw out the door," and he had not come back since.

He might also feel a bit embarrassed and angry.

MC: But you can't blame me for this; anyone who heard such words would… Villager: What did you say?

I realized that I had gotten distracted thinking about Shaw again, so I quickly cleared my throat and refocused my attention.

MC: It's nothing. You just said that there was evil energy surging under the mountain? Villager: That’s right! I don’t know what happened this time, but the formation barriers you set up don’t seem to have any effect!! Villager: Although Taoist Master Shaw doesn’t permit us to come to find you, we saw his condition and it was truly… MC: Shaw? What happened to him?

Startled, I interrupted him. The villagers were surprised to see me speaking so urgently and were taken aback, but they still answered honestly.

Villager: Wasn't it you who sent Master Shaw down the mountain to help us exorcize demons and spirits? There have been too many demons recently, and he has been busy running around everywhere. Villager: Perhaps it's because he's been working too hard. In the past month, Master Shaw's temper has become increasingly bad, and his methods for exorcizing demons have become more and more…

The villager hesitated, stammering as they began to speak.

Villager: It feels like... Master Shaw is showing signs of being possessed by demons. MC: ...possessed?!

Seeing me gasp, the villager began to sweat profusely, and their speech quickened.

Villager: We know that Master Shaw is a good person! But we're just afraid that if he starts treating people like this in the future… Villager: Ahem, what I mean is that we are worried about Taoist Master Shaw, so, that’s why we want to ask you to come out and help your disciple! Villager: If he really does something irreversible, it would tarnish the good name of Fairy MC! MC: ...I understand. MC: I'll handle the matter with Shaw. After you go down the mountain, instruct everyone not to go out today. Villager: Yes, I'll go right away!

The villager breathed a sigh of relief, thanked me profusely, and left.

I lowered my eyes and counted with my fingers.

MC: On the seventh day of the seventh month, when the yin energy is at its peak... It turns out it's already come to this.

I gathered my loose hair, secured it with a blue lotus Taoist crown, picked up my horsetail whisk, and headed out the door.

Demons' aura. A sky-high demonic presence.

The setting sun was like blood, with white bones hanging from withered branches, and ghostly flames mingling with cooking smoke.

The mortals had long since shut their doors tightly, afraid to speak carelessly. In the distant mountains, unknown creatures were making sharp, piercing cries.

After hiding away on the mountain for so long, I've almost forgotten that the outside world is actually like this purgatory.

MC: I really miss the old Qixi festivals... That was the true human scene.

I murmured in contemplation as I began to search for Shaw's presence.

The flower scent was wrapped in a heavy stench of blood, making it appear both gaudy and acrid.

MC: Shaw?

Soon, I caught the faint scent of familiar Tumi flowers near the abandoned cemetery in the southeast.

?.?: For every person you've harmed, I'll cut off one of your claws. It's actually a favor to you. ?.?: ...Regardless of whether you've done evil during this time, I find you displeasing now, so I want to eliminate you. Is that not allowed? ?.?: Want to beg for mercy now? It’s no use.

I couldn't make out what the demon was shouting, but Shaw's voice came through clearly from the graveyard, each sentence ending with a distinct note of pleasure.

In the next moment, a scream pierced the air, and the stench of blood grew even stronger.

My heart sank and I hurried over.

Boom— —

Thunder rumbled ominously, and flashes of lightning crisscrossed the sky. In the intermittent light, a tall, slender figure stood firmly in the center.

Around him are the remains of monsters and demons, and the young man stands amidst a sea of blood. At this moment, he does not seem like a righteous defender of justice, but more like…

Bloodthirsty demon.

...Shaw's cultivation has already reached its peak.

I watched the scene before me with my heart racing, almost stirring up some repressed impulse.

Shaw's God-striking Whip was swinging continuously in his hand, while a demon beast dodged left and right. In the end, it was struck by a bolt of lightning and was obliterated with a scream.

Shaw: I said it was useless, so why bother running?

Shaw's brows and eyes were full of exuberance, with a smile of extreme pleasure at the corner of his mouth, as he reveled in the brutal scene.

Shaw: I'm in a very bad mood this month. I can only say that you are unlucky and happened to meet me.

As he spoke, he took out the talisman and chanted the incantation.

[He recites an incantation here which is kinda hard to translate]

——He wants to summon the Five Gods of Thunder?! Just to annihilate these monsters?!

Without a moment's hesitation, I waved my whisk and immediately sealed the talisman he was about to ignite.

It was only then that he noticed my presence. In an instant, Shaw's gaze was more dazzling than lightning, nearly blinding me.

Shaw: .......You are finally willing to come. MC: ….Shaw!

I stretched out my hand towards him and spoke hastily.

MC: You can't kill anymore now, otherwise you will become a demon! MC: Come with me, I'll help you stabilize your Taoist mind!

Shaw stared at me intently, and after a while, he finally broke into a smile.

Shaw: Good.

Before he finished speaking, he fell forward.

I quickly teleported over to support him. Even through the layer of clothing, I could feel how intensely hot his body was.

MC: ….It can’t be delayed any longer.

I no longer hesitated and took Shaw to a broken house near the mass grave and began to set up formations for him.

Shaw [in pain]: Mm—

In the instant the light flared, a look of pain immediately appeared on Shaw's face.

MC: Is it difficult? Just bear with it a little longer…

Shaw [breathing heavily]: Not uncomfortable.

Shaw interrupted my words, breathing heavily.

Shaw [hesitantly]: I thought...I thought you didn't want to see me anymore

My breath caught, and I instinctively wanted to respond to the unspoken feelings before me.

However, Shaw's vibrant, living form and the red cinnabar symbols that had fallen around him reminded me of my true purpose for coming here.

MC: How could this be?

Another yellow talisman fell, and the dense array of runes bound Shaw, leaving him unable to move.

My fingers gently caressed his heaving chest and came to rest on his heart.

MC: You are my most precious furnace, why don’t I come to see you?

The light from the talisman illuminated the dim old house and also lit up my path.

A black crane perches on the hem of my skirt, its wings poised to fly.

—

[Section 4]

After Shaw heard what I said, a smile appeared on his lips.

Shaw [In a light voice + breathing heavily x1]: Fairy Xuanhe, you finally don’t want to pretend anymore? MC: The goal has already been achieved; why pretend?

I casually replied to him while drawing symbols, as if we were in my courtyard rather than this run-down house.

MC: I was surprised. When did you know about it? Shaw [x2]: Known it from the beginning.

My fingers paused. He raised his eyebrows at me triumphantly.

Shaw [x3]: Back then, Fairy Xuanhe, burdened with too much bloodshed, was hunted down by ten righteous paths and fell into these mountains. Shaw [x4]: After just three to five years, a Taoist priestess named MC suddenly appeared in the mountains. Shaw [x5]: With profound skills and a kind heart, they set up great formations to protect the safety and security of the people around them. Shaw [x6]: It's really... admirable.

Shaw’s breathing was rapid. Although he was clearly talking about me, his tone was so mocking, as if he were recounting someone else’s story. I felt a surge of irritation rise from the bottom of my heart and couldn't help but retort.

MC: So, you were sent by those idiots to test me?

Shaw [coldly]: Do they even deserve it?

Shaw sneered and raised his chin.

Shaw [whispers]: I just wanted to see you myself.

His gaze slowly moved from my brows, down to my nose, to my lips, to my throat... Finally, as if discovering something, it settled on my heart.

Shaw: .....No wonder you have been staying in that yard and refused to come out. MC: I didn’t refuse to come out. Shaw: In fact, you sealed yourself in that courtyard. MC: I didn't… Shaw: The demonic aura has long invaded your heart and mind; you are the one who has fallen into darkness. MC: I'm just about to become a demon!

I blurted out, my anger surging suddenly. I reached out forcefully, intending to strangle the man in front of me who was spouting nonsense.

However, as soon as my fingertips touched the blood vessels on his neck, they were immediately burned and recoiled.

The burning pain brought me back to clarity. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to calm my emotions.

MC: Shaw, I’m just... about to fall into darkness. MC: And with you as the furnace here, I can definitely dispel all the demonic aura.

Shaw's throat moved slightly as if he had finally realized something.

Shaw [surprised]: You want to practice dual cultivation with me...? MC: What else?

I chuckled and slowly stretched out my arms to hug Shaw from behind.

The intense yang energy filled Shaw’s robust body, like a flame that would never extinguish.

The robe was exceptionally loose after the battle, but with a casual flick, it fell into place.

My fingers measured every inch of his hot skin, and the wonderful touch made me addicted.

MC: Life is so joyful in the mortal world; I have no intention of falling into darkness. MC: Over the years, I have devoted myself to research and finally invented a method of harmonizing yin and yang.

Shaw clearly remembered the books he had borrowed. He raised an eyebrow and made an effort to turn his head to look at me.

Shaw: Because demonic energy is extremely yin, you're planning to find an extremely yang 'container' to balance it out. MC: That's right.

I turned my fingers and lifted Shaw's chin with a whisk.

This is the first time I've seen my... cauldron up close.

From this angle, I noticed his eyelashes were so long, his nose bridge so straight, and there was a thin layer of sweat at the corners of his brows, fine and dense.

MC: Shaw, you came to me of your own accord. MC: It is you who want to practice my techniques.

I silently executed the spell and infused the final incantation into Shaw’s dantian.

The fragrance of tea flowers instantly filled every corner of the room.

I know it's ripe.

Shaw, with no strength to resist, was pressed to the ground by me.

On the Qixi festival, the day of extreme yin, with the body of extreme yang, everything was perfect.

My breathing was even faster than Shaw's. The demonic energy that had been suppressed for a long time was no longer in shackles of the seal. It was jolting left and right in my body and was in desperate need of an outlet.

MC: I…

I was like a moth endlessly circling, instinctively drawn to an untouchable blaze, yet fleeing in panic just a second before being consumed by the flames.

For a moment, I even felt that the decision to practice dual cultivation was extremely stupid.

Because it was too hot and painful.

I bit my lower lip and gripped Shaw's shoulders almost with hatred, my nails drawing faint blood marks on his skin.

——Why? Why should I go through this?

As the Xuanhe Fairy, I have always wanted to live according to my true nature and have never harmed a mortal.

Before the demonic energy entered my body, I was said to be weird, rebellious, and unreasonable; after the demonic energy entered my body, I was said to be cruel and suspected of evil intentions.

These fools have also pinned some baseless charges on me and summoned ten righteous factions to kill me...

Why should I endure this!

Unconsciously, blood began to seep into my vision, and the smell of blood rising in my throat gradually overpowered the floral scent, filling my nostrils.

Shaw: MC, MC….! MC: What?

Shaw called my name several times before I woke up from my daze and looked at him blankly.

He was sweating all over, gritting his teeth, and obviously felt uncomfortable, but his golden eyes were still bright, reflecting only my figure.

Even though I was in a mess and my blue lotus Taoist crown was crooked.

Shaw [HIS HOARSE VOICE SOUNDED SO ASKFSGH x1]: MC, give me your breath. MC: ....Transfer Qi?

My mind was so dizzy that I didn't even understand what these two words meant. Shaw suppressed his breath and sneered.

Shaw [x2]: If you want to practice dual cultivation, of course you have to transfer your Qi.

Oh, indeed, the breath could also settle into the lower abdomen. I thought groggily as I leaned closer to Shaw's lips.

In the instant our breaths intertwined, I was pulled into a vortex named Shaw. 

His tongue entwined with mine, then released, only to forcefully invade again, exploring every corner of my mouth, sending shivers down my spine. 

This wasn't me giving him air at all; it was clearly... him taking it from me.

The sound of the rubbing of clothes mixed with my heartbeat, infinitely amplified in my ears, and the burning sensation that was originally painful to me gradually became less unbearable.

At this moment, it seems that the vigorous yang energy and the deep yin energy have finally found a point of resonance, beginning to tentatively merge.

My vision kept wavering, and the scene before me became a kaleidoscope of colors. The painful memories of the past gradually receded like a retreating tide.

By accident, my mind suddenly recalled a small incident when the evil energy had not poured into China and everything was still too peaceful.

That day seemed to be the Qixi festival. I was wandering in the market and met a young man.

The young man said he had someone he loved and asked me if I had any spells that could help him.

What happened next? Did I help him…?

Shaw [annoyed]: You're distracted. MC: I didn't…

All my words were swallowed up by him, and Shaw didn't want to listen to me at all.

He inexplicably began to refuse to cooperate, causing the yin and yang energy that had already been harmonized to change suddenly. I couldn't help but want to hide, but my waist was firmly held by him.

MC: This… This is not right…

I clutched the nearly shapeless talisman papers tightly and spoke intermittently.

MC [blushing]: It should be me… MC [blushing]: It should be me taking your original yang energy; this is the only solution. Otherwise, I...!

I whimpered briefly, the stimulation was too strong and I had nowhere to escape, I could only scream like a rogue.

MC [blushing]: You are my furnace, you must be willing to help me achieve success!

Shaw [breathing heavily + that low seductive voice of his x1]: Who says I'm not willing?

Hot sweat and Shaw's voice both fell into my ears, as he chuckled softly.

Shaw [x2]: I realized... that although you are a talented demon practitioner, you’re also quite foolish. Shaw [x3]: Why do you think I've been practicing your techniques all along?

It's too hot. My mind can no longer understand his words; I just shake my head, trying to escape, but Shaw won't let me.

His lips repeatedly kissed my earlobe, whispering in the closest proximity.

Shaw [x4]: As I said, I will do my best and risk everything I have for the person I like.

Every time Shaw said a word, I felt the violent demonic energy in my body fade a little—

He didn’t have his original yang energy taken by me; instead, he used his yang energy to completely eliminate the demonic energy.

MC: You... you changed my technique? Were you deceiving me?!

Shaw [x6]: Is that not acceptable? Shaw [x7]: Who told you to lie to me back then?

Shaw lifted me up forcefully as if to punish me, and I fell into his tender kisses.

Shaw [x8]: On that Qixi Festival, I told you I liked you and asked if there was a spell to make you like me too. How did you respond? MC: What?

Was that boy Shaw?

My memory doesn’t quite match up with this. Could it be that the years of demonic energy have damaged my mind?

I was speechless and couldn't explain anything. Shaw’s chest rumbled with laughter as he smiled.

Shaw [x9]: Forget it if you don’t remember. Anyway, I already got what I wanted.

After all, I was pulled into the whirlpool by him again.

In the midst of the chaos, I almost had the illusion that Shaw had risked even more than I had imagined.

No, it's not an illusion.

MC: Shaw. 

I reached out my hand and brushed away Shaw's messy hair, wanting to look into his eyes again.

—

📿 Call 1

📿 Call 2

[nqmonarch]

hihi! I want to say that I really LOVE the way you write Blade <33 and also what do you think about Blade with a reader who was part of the hcq in the past being reincarnated and joining the stellaron hunters in the present timeline but they don't remember anything from their past such as being Yingxing's lover

Yeah! Of course :) Didn't know if you wanted Yandere Blade or normal Blade assuming the former because it's the only Blade, it's not anything hardcore tho, I've written so far but let me know if this doesn't suit you, and I'll try again :)

Warning: High Cloud Quintet Spoilers,

TW: Kidnapping, Yandere

Note: Reader is a vidyadhara (think that makes the most sense in terms of reincarnation)

You knew everyone fairly well but you knew Yingxing the best. The two of you spending evenings next to each other in the same bed and days by each other's side. You weren't much of a fighter but he made you a weapon nonetheless and you carried it everywhere.

You would laugh as you saw Jing Yuan and Yingxing train while Jingliu would make them run laps every time they messed up their stance. You would stare at the skies with Baiheng and speak about worlds you'd only heard of in stories. Dan Feng was the one you knew the least but as everyone else became rowdy the two of you would stand in silence, both of you smiling with equal understanding of each other.

Then Shuhu, an emanator of abundance, attacked and those happy moments drifted off as dandelion seeds in the wind. You focused on evacuating citizens, fighting off mara struck with the knowledge you'd gained from watching Yingxing train. Your eyes were always on his body. Jing Yuan had been with you initially, the two of you had been talking about what to do for Yingxing's birthday. Beneath Jing Yuan's aloof exterior there was still a child, he was young after all.

You weren't sure where everyone else was but you only hoped they'd be okay.

Baiheng died. Dan Feng and Yingxing committed a sin, which would lead to both of them being banished. Jingliu returned but was struggling with mara. Jing Yuan was left to deal with the consequences as you left. You couldn't leave your lover on your own could you?

So you followed the mess that Yingxing was, making sure he never got hurt too much, trying to keep him safe. He didn't look the same, white hair turned to a blueish black and cool gray eyes turned a burning hot red. You still loved him, he didn't remember you, and whenever he did it was followed by a bout of pain. Part of you didn't want him to remember, if it was that terrible.

For the majority of the time you stayed by his side he was in and out of it, struggling to even move at points. You weren't around to see when he was able to fight time and again, when he went and hunted after Dan Heng, and how every time he was slain he came back stronger anew.

You had to leave, otherwise you likely would've died. You did it while he slept, otherwise he would've realized and maybe you would've felt too guilty to leave. But you had to go through the rebirth process. You left behind a journal for yourself to read and so you would go back to Yingxing but you never got the chance. After all if anyone else read it, why would they want a Vidyadhara leaving and risking their life, when population numbers already dwindled? Especially if they were risking their life for someone who almost ruined everything.

You were told you took a hundred extra years to hatch. You learned everything anew, deciding to pick up a weapon, it felt comfortable in your hands. Sometimes you'd dream of fighting mara struck off with it, sometimes the weapon was idly by your side as you felt joy course through dream you's body as you spoke to a friendly white haired male.

The thing was throughout a hundred years of living you'd never found a reason to live. The only thing you longed for were your dreams. You'd heard of a land called Penacony, where you could live in your dreams, and you'd smuggled your way in but it wasn't what you thought. You wanted to live in your memories, not some idealistic world. So you wandered planet from planet in search of something, anything. Your only purpose became finding a reason to live.

Everything changed when a woman called Kafka recruited you, she was all smiles and charm, and promised you the thing you were looking for. You'd been skeptical and challenged her but when she elaborated that you'd be able to live within your memories, you decided to join her. Whether Elio's plan worked out or not mattered naught to you, so long as you were able to live in your memories again.

Your dreams got fuzzier harder to reach with time, as if your past life was slipping away from you. This wasn't supposed to happen. But things improved slightly when a man with long navy blue hair eagerly joined the Stellaron Hunters. He looked at you with a strange longing gaze, it was honestly rather pathetic. Pathetic looked good on him though, well he looked good in general.

"Blade," Your voice held no extra emotion to it as he walked over to you, he felt strangely familiar, as if existing by his side wouldn't be that bad.

So you hung around him often, you weren't sure why he hung around you but he didn't speak much to you. It wasn't that there was nothing to say but too much to say, to the point he couldn't say anything. Instead he often clung onto you like you were his lifeline, in bouts of mara, his grip hurt but it wasn't the worst pain you'd experienced. Being a Stellaron Hunter meant you'd faced your fair share of fights. Now that Blade was here, you got hurt less and less, he'd tank blows for you and annihilate whoever you were against. There were always large stains of blood left in the place of your battles but you never got dirty.

You wondered what he would do if you died, go insane? From the little sanity he had left, "What would you do if I died?" You asked a slight smile on your face before returning to your usual silence.

You didn't have a moment to speak before you felt your back crash against the cold, hard floor knocking the air out of you. Normally you'd be able to keep up with Blade while sparring, although you doubted he had the heart to go all out against you. Now he gripped your biceps with no regard for your feelings, yet, it only lasted a few seconds as he loosened his hold to remove the pain yet keep you still. His knees rested next to your hips, and you could feel the heat of his skin through your clothes.

"...You don't like that question?" You spoke with a grin on your face, was he really so attached to you?

Hot red eyes glared at you, as if you'd just committed a sin, "No. You... don't understand anything now. You... you've done far more than you should've." He forced himself to let go of your arms, standing up and walking away as stiff as a board. It was as if the very process was agonizing.

You stared at his back in puzzlement, "...Blade did you know me?"

He didn't answer.

Which led to your turn to chase Blade, always a step behind. When you weren't following him, you knew he was nearby, somewhere you couldn't see him. You could feel his gaze rest on your head, it felt very unique. You'd beg Blade for any clue about your past but he would remain quiet, as if ignoring you. He'd still step into all of your fights, blade itching to be used.

You only made progress on the mission where you'd been ordered to go to the Xianzhou Luofu, as someone who'd been raised there you happily snuck along even if it wasn't your mission. You were sure Elio knew anyway. Blade was on his own mission and for once you were alone. On the Luofu you met a man that gave you the same familiar feeling as Blade, a young fellow by the name of Dan Heng. He didn't recognize you at all though, so you assumed you didn't know him. He was the only one to catch a glimpse of your face without your cloak.

You traveled with him, Luocha, and Sushang for fun before dashing off to the streets, cloak covering any distinguishable part of your body, to buy some snacks. You ran into a short dragon girl, who felt somewhat familiar, but you doubted you knew her too. But then there was the general of the Luofu, a well spoken man, who put on the appearance of a slacker.

Did he sleep because he could no longer stand life? He felt familiar as well but you also empathized with him and that was why you went up to talk him. Putting on the act of a fortune teller, you saw a hint of recognition when he heard your voice. He agreed to let his fortune be read, and you did so staring at him for any other hint of your past. He looked at you very sorrowfully.

You weren't sure what compelled you to say it but you shared some thoughts with him, "I sleep a lot too," you suddenly remarked, uncaring that it gave away you having watched over him for a while, "Less now. But in the past the only place I could live was my dreams, memories of my past life. I yearn for them, dearly."

The general looked at you his smile waning, "Then perhaps one day we can discuss them." So he did know you. Who... exactly were you in the past? How did you find so much happiness, in the simplest things? How could you do that now?

But the two of you were never able to discuss that as the final act of Blade and Kafka's plan came into fruition you found yourself between a mournful Jing Yuan and Blade, who'd reappeared. You didn't mind Blade's company, he just got in the way sometimes.

Especially when he was holding the blade of his sword to the only person who'd been willing to help you recover your past. Jing Yuan didn't put up a fight, it was rather strange, instead he spoke in a wistful tone, "The two of you found each other again." Perhaps you'd been closer to Blade in your past life than you thought.

You'd unceremoniously been brought back to the ship the Stellaron Hunters were currently using. It was not by choice. Blade held you in his arms as you kicked and bit and scratched. He didn't mind in the slightest. He may have even liked it which dissuaded you a bit from continuing. You didn't scream, he'd probably kill any bystanders who cared anyway.

It was annoying. Even once you were back on the ship he was always by your side, literally. One part of his body had to be touching yours at all times, otherwise he'd begin to panic.

"...Tell me about my past." You demanded, glaring at him, concerningly more upset over this matter than him kidnapping you and his constant clinginess.

"Of six people, three must pay the price... why did you waste your time caring for someone like me? You love me..." then in a pitiful voice, seeking for confirmation he asked, "right?"

You looked at the mess of the man before you, had you loved him in your previous life? If so, then wasn't he part of your happiness... So you'd have to learn to love him again, "Right," You lied with a smile, resting a hand on his back as he embraced you burying his face in your neck.

The moment Blade couldn't see your face the smile dropped from it.

Imo Blade would hide his own sinful past and actions from the reader and not want them to have to embark down the road of pain, since he knows how terrible it is.

Reader is also lowkey a two faced person, don't know how much you guys noticed, but they put on one of those facades but inside they're like i'm dying inside yay... ._. i like two faced characters :) they're so fun to read in stories, haven't really written one before though

I honestly think reader is more unhealthy than Blade like yeah he's kind of obsessed with you but at the same time reader just concerning like highly fucking concerning. Did not mean for reader to be so concerning just happened.

Anyway as much as I love like that I waited 800 years for you troupe! I'm not a big fan of it, personally, with Blade's character just because he's a very big red flag for a relationship even as a non yandere. Being in love with someone from the past can turn out good but I feel like with Blade it would turn out so horribly and he would just see a memory as opposed to the past, present, and future of the reader.

I like the idea of him falling in love with someone while he's Blade because Blade feels like a very different person from Yingxing.

That being said the idea of reincarnated lovers always has its own kind of charm :)

[donutsupremacy]

Accidental Desperation (Pt. II)

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Summary:

"Your roommate finds it hard to sleep at night after their dreams were filled with you, and that caused just enough problems for him in his boxers. It seems like there's no other way to get rid of it but to take the matter into his own hands... literally."

Warnings/Spoilers:

Written during 5.0

Featuring the second half of 6reeze (Kazuha, Heizou, Scara/Wanderer)

Modern AU

Gender neutral reader

Possible impr*gn*tion is up to your own assumption

Scara's gonna be called Scaramouche here bc its modern AU (But if u wanna call him smth else be my guest)

And they were roommates shenanigans

PURE UNADULTERATED SMUT

and a bit of fluff lol why not

⚠️ MINORS DNI ⚠️

M*sturb*tion

Voyeurism (I think)

Wet dreams

Perverted 6reeze j*rking off to lewd pictures of you

Cursing

A bit of sl*t sh*ming + D*cryph*lia (Scara)

Praise + Br**ding k*nk (Kazuha)

Unhinged st*lking + P*nty theft and sniffing (Heizou)

I'll die on the 'Scara has a degration kink' hill

Not proofread bc busy and dying

A/N: wELL BETTER LATE THAN NevER

Continuation from Part I

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⚠️MINORS DNI⚠️

Kaedehara Kazuha

Startled awake, Kazuha sat up abruptly and nearly fell off his bed. Hair clinging to his sweaty forehead, face flushed and eyes blown wide, almost out of his socket. Kazuha quickly got up from his bed and made a beeline to his bathroom.

But no matter how many times he splashed his face with water, snippets of his dream just kept appearing.

He didn't know how to stop himself from repeating this... debauchery. About dreaming you underneath him, whimpering and squirming while he breeds you full of his cum like a desperate wolf in heat.

Tears trailing down your eyes as you struggled to speak or even think, only babbling incoherently while he pumps you full. There's nothing more satisfying than to see you filled to the brim with his load. Possibly filled with his babies too.

Kazuha sat back down on his bed right as his phone lit up, he had received a notification from a friend, but he was more focused on the wallpaper of his lockscreen— a picture of you and Kazuha hanging out at a carnival.

It's cute and wholesome... but in reality, his camera roll was either full of cats or pretty sceneries... Or just you alone. And there were almost millions.

He had shamefully jerked off to every one of them.

The latest one was when you sent him a picture of yourself yesterday, wearing his hoodie and his shorts— something about you feeling cold and you being too lazy to wash your dirty clothes. But all he could think about was you wearing his clothing, your oh-so breedable body bare and naked underneath something he always wore.

With a painful erection, Kazuha stared at the seemingly cute and wholesome picture for a good minute, wishing you would've sent a more explicit one. Or just a nude of yourself, that would be indefinitely better.

He's a gentleman, everyone knows how soft, kind and sweet he is... but he couldn't resist masturbating tonight after dreaming himself fucking your brains out. You were asleep anyways, so might as well, he just had to stay quiet...

Discarding his shorts, Kazuha got to work with lazily pumping himself slowly while glancing at your picture every so often.

He imagines himself thrusting his cock into you, showering you with praises. Oh, he knows you'd definitely enjoy it as much as he does. You would tighten around him like a vicegrip after hearing his sweet words, refusing to let him go until he came inside you. He'd leave you nice and full, peppering you with affection.

Outside his door stood you, you wanted to ask Kazuha if you could borrow his hoodie again, your clothes were dirty again and it was late into the night.

Creeps are everywhere at this hour, even at the laundromat. You weren't about to risk that again.

But as you got closer, you heard stifled gasps and groans, unmistakably Kazuha's. His normally soft-spoken voice was too quiet for you to hear anything else, plus the doors and the walls weren't very thin or soundproof. You wonder if he might be sick, which wouldn't be very likely since he's a healthy guy but you're still worried.

You turned the knob and pushed the door open enough for you to enter, calling out for Kazuha with concern, who was still in the middle of building up his climax. But when he heard your voice in the midst of the quiet room, he froze up.

You're standing there, flustered and confused, eyes trained on his flushed face and his hand around his throbbing cock. Well... shit.

"...Well, ah... Th-This isn't... what it looks like..." Kazuha spoke sheepishly.

No point in hiding himself anymore, it's too late, you already saw him butt naked. And vulnerable.

He did his best to stay calm, apologising for being a degenerate and asking if you could leave so he could clean up after himself. He feels as though he has let you down by disgusting you.

But the sound of you closing the door and approaching him startled Kazuha a little. When he saw you sitting down next to him without a word, he wasn't going to complain at all, his fantasy was coming true. Although, he was still embarrassed.

He knew what you were trying to do, but he protested against it, thinking you probably felt obliged to help him just because he was pent up.

You gently swatted his hand away when he tried to let you know you didn't have to, your hand wrapped around his cock. It twitched under your warmth and Kazuha lets out a shaky gasp, his hips struggling to stay grounded and not cum immediately.

"Please... just let me do it for you instead. I know I don't... need to. But I want to."

Shikanoin Heizou

Not again...

This has been going on ever since you both became roommates and he grew obsessive over you, Heizou goes to sleep and frequently wakes up after dreaming of being in-between your legs, thrusting in and out of you rapidly while you're left desperately clutching the nearest surface with weak and shaky hands.

What is this— the 4th time this week? 5th? Maybe even 6th? Probably, Heizou lost count already. Either way, he woke up. And now he's hard for you.

His morals be damned, he's done this probably a thousand times already and it feels so good everytime. It helps Heizou a lot that he had pictures of you on his phone, but Archons forbid that if you ever found out how he got those pictures, you'd probably report him to the authorities.

You're surprisingly oblivious to your surroundings sometimes, it's easy to just slip right into your bedroom and hide under your bed, watching you undress while you ramble to your friend on the phond about whatever was inconveniencing you.

And whenever you were asleep, he would silently creep out, admiring the way your hair spreads across the pillow and the soft snores you emit.

How he'd wish he could just have his way with you you right then and there, but it wouldn't be fair to you and you wouldn't like it. So, as much as he didn't want to waste the opportunity, he'd place a fleeting kiss on your forehead so you'd have a pleasant dream and leave.

With a picture of you in the middle of taking off your clothes that left your bare torso exposed, and a pair of your underwear he had stole on the way out, Heizou had everything he needed.

Boxers down, your photo in one hand, Heizou eagerly wrapped your underwear around his hard cock and groaned at the feeling. You had such great choices for cute and soft underwear, they certainly suit that ass.

Jerking off, Heizou did his best to muffle his moans and unabashed grunts, the fabric of your underwear giving him the relief that his hands never could.

He picked up the pace, furiously pumping his cock against the fabric of your clothing, his hips lifting up and thrusting into his fist. His tongue darting out to lick his lips, wishing it was you he was thrusting into instead of his hand.

Dirty thoughts fill his head, imaging himself bending you over a desk, an iron grip on your hips strong enough to leave a bruise. Your head pressed against the hard surface but not too hard that it would hurt, enjoying the way Heizou was fucking your brains out. Enjoying the way he handles you so gently, yet, so roughly.

And you, sweet summer child, got woken up from the sound of creaking. You noticed it came from the wall that seperated your room from Heizou's, what was Heizou doing this time?

You swore, every night the creaking gets louder and louder, as if whatever Heizou was doing was slowly breaking his bed that he didn't even realize it.

Getting out from your bed, you dragged yourself across the floor. Out of your room, approaching Heizou's. Admittedly, you're head over heels in love with the charismatic rebel you call your roommate... but you also loved sleeping. And you're dead tired right now. It was past midnight.

You knock on Heizou's door, calling out for him and asking him to save whatever he was doing for tomorrow, stating that he was being noisy.

For a moment, Heizou felt his soul leave his body when he heard your voice and the knock on the door. You're on the other side of the door... He grins. You're on the other side of the door.

Instead of hiding himself or asking you to leave, which you were planning to do once he grew quiet, Heizou slowed down to deny the rising climax he had building up in his abdomen.

He calls for your name.

You stopped in your tracks, raising a brow as you glanced back at Heizou's door. When he called out your name a second time, he didn't just call out— he demanded for your presence in a husky tone. A shiver runs down your spine.

As you open the door, hesitantly peeking in, you were met with Heizou sitting by the edge of his bed. Resting his chin on one arm propped on his knee and the held your underwear, being wrapped around his throbbing cock, slowly pumping up and down.

"Waiting for an invitation? Already gave you one~" Heizou cooed, nodding his head towards his cock. You wouldn't say no, not after how much you often talk about him late at night without realizing he was there.

Despite your initial shock and confusion, you obediently closed the door behind you and approached Heizou.

"Well... what'cha waiting for?" Heizou asked in a teasing tone. As endearing as it is seeing you all flustered and embarrassed, he didn't need to push it so far. Right now, he wanted you to get used to his cock before he rails you.

"Uhm... nothing."

Scaramouche

Damn you. Damn you to absolute hell for being hot. That was the first thing Scaramouche thought of when that cursed dream occured again. Not that he'll admit it to being a blessing in disguise.

Even after taking a freezing cold shower, he finds himself still rock hard.

Drying himself, Scaramouche muttered a string of curses after tossing his now wet towel aside. He's way too horny to go back to bed, and he's much too prideful to masturbate like a damn pervert.

He's sitting on the edge of his bed with his shorts down and his throbbing cock out, he couldn't distract himself. No matter how much he tries, all he could think about was how pretty you'd look with your body spread out and exposed on his bed, like a feast for him and only him to devour.

You'd get so aroused as he teased you with his skillful fingers rubbing your insides, hands roaming across your body as he littered hickeys all over you.

Only when you start to writhe and cry would you begin to beg for Scaramouche to fuck you silly, like his perfect cumslut that you are. He'd pump his cock in and out of you, your face half buried into a pillow with his hand pressing your head down, pretty tears flowing down your red cheeks that he'd lean down and kiss away.

Something about you crying from the overwhelming pleasure while he dominates you just turns him on.

There's this constant nagging in the back of his head, telling him to get rid of the problem with his hands now or he'd stay restless. That, or it's just his hard-on aching for some much needed relief. And it needs it desperately.

So that was where Scaramouche is now; Pumping up and down on his shaft as he occasionally peeked at your photos that he took on his phone.

It was just a picture of you laying your head on his lap, fast asleep and his free hand carressing your head. Had you tilted your head a little more to the side, you would bury your face into his crotch. A part of him regrets not giving you a good awakening by stuffing his cock into your mouth, you wouldn't mind it anyways, would you?

Scaramouche tried to tone down his volume, trying oh so hard to not moan too loudly and wake you up. If you caught him jerking off to you, he'd be utterly embarrassed. His ego was far too fragile for that.

Unfortunately, he didn't realize that you were wide awake, about to head out for a midnight grocery trip. Your little snack stash was about to run low, and the store was just right across the road, you're sure Scaramouche wouldn't fret over this.

You're right, he wouldn't. Not when he's busy pumping himself without realizing you're peeking at him through his bedroom door.

At first, you were surprised and a little mortified at first. Archons forbid, you're looking at a guy jacking off.

But that feeling was soon replaced by a disgusting wave of arousal as you heard the indigo haired male barely wheeze out your name. He was close to his climax, and it was because of you.

As much as you wanted to stop, you can't. It's oddly addictive... to see your annoying but hot roommate touching himself to the thought of you, even to the edge of cumming.

Strings of white, hot cum splattered onto Scaramouche's bed, heavy and erratic panting filling his otherwise quiet bedroom. He slumped back down onto his bed, running a hand through his hair.

However, his brief moment of ecstasy and relief was abruptly interrupted when he heard a click from his door. "What—!?" A red tinge appears on his cheeks and ears, hearing your voice mutter out a 'shit!' when you accidentally closed the door too loudly. This damn door keeps snitching on you!

"[NAME]!" You froze outside his door, he's pissed. Very pissed.

As much as you'd like to make a break for it, you knew confrontation was inevitable.

You mustered up as much courage as you could, hesitantly opening the door and taking a step inside. You were caught off guard as a hand grabs the collar of your shirt and getting tugged harshly, your back hitting against the wall next to the door.

"Did you enjoy the show?" Dazed as you were, that voice was unmistakably Scaramouche's. And you bit your tongue to stop yourself from blurting out a yes. "Voyeurism kink, eh? How much more of a slut can you be?"

You stiffened when Scaramouche leaned closer, his breathing ragged and sweat glistening off his skin. Heat pooling in your abdomen, you swallowed thickly as his breath tickled against your nose.

A whimper leaves your throat as the only reply you had, oh... ohh he loved that sound so much... "Cat got your tongue now?" He sneered, letting go of your collar and swiftly lifted one of your legs up to his waist, forcing you to grab onto his shoulders for balance.

"How 'bout you show me how much you like the free show?" He purred, his free hand on your waist, tugging you closer.

"...F-Fine."

[urmomsmattress]

the thing with me is that i have to know how a fic ends i'm so impatient and i don't read fast enough so i'll skim the end to see what happens and then i'll read it, otherwise i’ll literally spaz out if i don’t know what to expect

which really sucks bc i'll wanna go into a fic completely blind but the internet exists so i see the discourse everywhere

art heist baby, these violent delights, and minor crimson rivers spoilers:

crimson rivers for example: i wish i didn't know who got reaped for the second games before i read it but how do i engage in the fandom without risk of spoiling it

art heist baby? what’s a good fic if not one with a MCD? so obviously people talk and the first thing you know before you read is they kill off regulus. it wouldn’t be as good without his death

these violent delights? i thought it was gonna be james who dies bc he’s “jack” or whatever. but nope it's regulus.

they always do my boy so dirty and i ain't even read any of them yet 😭

#justiceforbabygirl

[a-caterpillars-world]

So. I finished Homestuck.

Reading Homestuck in 2024, over a decade since it started, was definitely an experience. There was a lot that i was spoiled for, but a lot that took me by surprise, even though "spoilers" are just about everywhere. I'm glad I was able to go in blind, there's a lot that wouldn't have felt nearly as impactful had i known about it beforehand. I'm not great at just directionless rambling, so I'll organize it in the form of an FAQ of a sort, under a read more since I'm expecting this to be a longer post.

Did you enjoy yourself?

Honestly, yes. I know Homestuck has a kind of negative reputation, and now that I've finished I can certainly see where it comes from, but even considering all of that I can't say I had a bad time. I think Homestuck has a lot to love, even if there's also a lot to hate. Personally I think there's several elements and characters of Homestuck that deserve a better rep, there was a lot I read that was very funny or very narratively compelling even through all the obvious flaws. I had a good time, I don't regret picking up Homestuck.

Do you plan to read anything else related to Homestuck (eg Homestuck 2)?

Maybe! I'm not entirely sure how much I'm missing out on, or how much the various side stories impact the main canon. If one of them seems particularly interesting to me, I'll look into it, but right now I'm good. I'm not even entirely sure how deep the Homestuck rabbit hole goes, though I suppose I could look it up and find out for myself.

Do you have any favorites/what do you think about [character]?

This is a hard question to answer, as Homestuck is a series with a loooot of characters to talk about. If you want to know a more in-depth opinion on your favorites, send me an ask! I love conversation and even since I started my liveblog I've been open to asks being sent in even if we've never spoken. Maybe I'll make a tierlist to organize my favorites, that could be fun.

Should I read Homestuck?

It depends. Homestuck can be a very good and interesting story at times, but a lot of what makes it a great story is hidden behind layers of questionable-at-best humor and casual ableism. I think if you can approach it as it is and understand the flaws inherent to it, it's definitely worth at least checking out. And then if it isn't for you, then it isn't for you, but it did end up being for me so take it as you will. Even if you're just looking at it as a part of internet and webcomic history, I think it's not a waste of time to give it a read. Via the downloadable archive though, not the browser version. Homestuck suffered greatly from the death of Flash, so it's best to read on a version that can better support all the unique elements it utilized without much risk of it crapping out on you (like it did to me, in several key points including the finale.) I also recommend reading with a friend, preferably one who's read Homestuck before so you can talk about things as they come up naturally.

Final thoughts

Homestuck is a fascinating piece of internet history. It's a near-perfect capture of the humor and culture of the late 2000s and early 2010s, largely dependent on a web service that is now entirely defunct. Were it not for the actions of archivists and fans, it's entirely likely we could've lost massive chunks of an incredible piece of webcomic and fandom history. It certainly isn't for everyone, its flaws have been talked about with regularity by essayists and internet historians with the whole spectrum of opinions on it. Even with its flaws, though, it still puts together a quite lovely story, with several compelling characters and scenes that grab your attention and hold it tight. Not only do I not regret reading it, but I completely understand how Homestuck created such a storm of a fandom especially when it was being actively updated. I'm glad I read it, in the end. It brought me a lot of joy in the best moments, and even at the times when I was most frustrated with the story I can't say there was ever a point where it was too much for me. Thank you to everyone who stopped by to check on the liveblog, whether you're one of my friends or a stranger checking in from the Homestuck fandom. It has certainly been an interesting ride, and I'm glad that I got to take it, even if I am in fact several years late to the party. Until next time, everyone!

[koorinokujira]

Yakuza Kiwami is an AMAZING game and I'll shove my love for it in everyone's faces now

So, I kinda realized I didn't make this post yet, and I literally finished Kiwami 2 yesterday, so... whoops? But no matter, better late than never, as they say! Spoilers below, like always, so keep reading at your own risk!

So, Yakuza Kiwami. I've actually seen a full playthrough of it a few years back, so I roughly knew what was waiting for me, but my memory is not my greatest strength, so I luckily forgot most of it. And honestly, even knowing some stuff didn't take away my enjoyment at all!

Now, I gotta say, playing this right after 0 was insane. It made my immersion so much better, and really made me feel things more strongly. I was violently dragged out of the relative peace I got after the whole fiasco with the Empty Lot, the familiar streets with shops and minigames I knew and loved into a new, unfamiliar version of Kamurocho along with Kiryu. It was rough- a lot of things stayed the same or at least similar, but there were enough differences for it to feel like a mockery of all the things Kiryu held dear. He was lost in a place he used to know intimately, and that really got to me, because I had just finished the previous journey with him and Majima.

And slowly unraveling what happened to Nishiki and seeing him fall so far from the bro we used to know genuinely hurt. Especially knowing that he wasn't a bad person before and that he was a sensitive soul that got completely crushed by the circumstances in his life.

As for the story and characters in general, I loved it, it got me in the feels and I was hooked the whole time! While I still think 0 is the best from what I played so far, this story was also amazing. Majima going all out in all the fights and with costumes and disguises, Date-san being an incredibly pathetic man and father who pulled through in the end and sorta sharing that with the Florist, Haruka being a little badass, Reina's tragic, misguided love... there was so much that I adored about this game, and the characters in the main story never really fell flat for me. It also made me love Kashiwagi even more, I just love it when he's there. And the ending was pretty heartwrenching too, though I wish it focused more on Nishiki's death than Yumi's, as I felt their brotherly bond ran way deeper than Kiryu's relationship with Yumi. But that's just my opinion, I still cried and thought it was pretty solid!

Then there are the sidequests. Hoo boy. I have to admit, I didn't really like those that much. They just lacked the spark that the ones from 0 had, and seemed somewhat repetitive in their themes. And there was of course also those very questionable ones. Of course, there were some pretty good ones too! And I had a blast in the whole Pocket Circuit saga, I love Fighter with all my heart.

Speaking of Pocket Circuit, the minigames were still really enjoyable, but I really missed Disco, to be honest. I wish you could groove in a club somewhere at least. The Karaoke gave me whiplash because it was so different (post Yakuza 0 immersion strikes again), and I hated the new version of Heartbreak Mermaid. But I have to admit, I absolutely loved Iji Sakura 2000 and definitely sang it way too many times.

Gameplay was pretty good too! I didn't really like some changes to the fighting system, but overall, it was still really enjoyable to punch everyone in close vicinity. I learned to use Dragon Style a lot more, in 0 I barely used it even though I had it. Tiger drop is spectacular, I will never sugarcoat anything ever again. The upgrade system took some getting used to, but it ended up being my favorite as it was more clear-cut and it was mostly stuff I'd actually use. The Majima Everywhere thingy was pretty fun most of the time! It could get a bit tedious to find specific Majimas, but I got through it like a champ.

So overall, amazing game as the title says, and I will also make another post with some funny screenshots for this game soon! Thank you for reading, and like always...

Have a great day!

[blackrosesmatron]

||

Alright, everyone, buckle up!

This is going to be a long post with all my thoughts and theories about Arcane Season 2 so far. There will be spoilers, so I'm placing everything under a read-more for your convenience—proceed at your own risk!

Let’s dive in, focusing on my favorite Noxian bitch, LeBlanc. She’s clearly been around Piltover for ages, possibly taking on multiple identities ("I am everywhere, I am everyone," as she says in the game).

Why "possibly"? Because we don't even have solid confirmation that Amara is LeBlanc herself. She could be a clone, a Black Rose member, or even someone LeBlanc is possessing.

But for the sake of this post and my headcanons, I'll work with the idea that Amara is LeBlanc in disguise.

This topic spans a lot of fronts, so don’t expect this post to be linear—my brain is a mess right now, okay?!

Let's beging with one thing I have seen everybody pointing out that is when LB calls Mel "sister"

Why mocking her? Why making her angry when she could have tried to bring Mel to her side?

My take? It was pure mockery. Just moments earlier, Mel thought she was trapped in the cell with her brother. Once she realized that wasn’t the case, LeBlanc weaponized the term "sister" as a taunt, almost like waving a puppet in Mel’s face, making fun on how easy it was to trick Mel into believing her brother was alive and there with her (not saying he is dead. He could quite well be alive, just off board)

I'm going a bit further back to explain my thoughts on this.

When Jinx’s bomb hit the council, two people survived unscathed: Mel and Jayce. Right before the explosion, Mel’s golden jewelry glowed. My theory? That glow was a magical shield triggered by Mel herself. I believe Mel has latent magic she’s unaware of, which activated instinctively in a moment of dispair.

And here’s the kicker: I think LeBlanc knows this.

When LeBlanc captured Mel, she already knew Mel was somehow special (She mentioned that Ambessa stole something far more important than gold from them, and I believe she was refering to Mel when Ambessa sent her daughter to Piltover). With the explosion and the aftermatch, She’d noticed Mel’s magic was linked to her emotions, especially the need to protect someone. LeBlanc's labyrinth wasn’t just a prison—it was a test, specifically designed to provoke Mel and awaken her abilities.

Even earlier, LeBlanc’s supposed killing of Elora in front of Mel could have been a calculated move to push her emotional buttons. If Mel’s powers stem from intense emotions, then witnessing her friend being killed might have been intended to bring those powers to the surface.

LeBlanc could have taken a different, kinder or more seductive approach. She could’ve appealed to Mel’s distrust with Ambessa to draw her to the Black Rose’s side. But she didn’t. Instead, she chose to anger Mel deliberately.

Why?

Because LeBlanc wanted Mel to see her as an enemy, a clear villain, forcing Mel to rise to the challenge. When LeBlanc called Mel "sister" in the labyrinth, it wasn’t familial—it was provocation. She knew the taunt would fuel Mel’s rage, culminating in the burst of magic that broke LeBlanc’s chains.

It was a calculate move from her part to choose the violent route with Mel.

NOW

Moving to the other hypotheses people have and that I particularly don't buy:

Mel and LB being literal sisters. LB doesn't seem to be younger than Ambessa to be her daughter (I'm not going into any HC, nor current lore on her because Riot may change LB's lore with Arcane, as it has been doing with all other champions). So if she isn't younger than Ambessa to be her daughter, then she would only be half sister, and their father would have to be the same.

It could be the Kindred (hc some people have based on Ambessa's music video). Or they could have another person being their father - somebody old and powerful.

I...don't believe that because Ambessa is all about family, and even if LB was not her daughter, her interactions with her would've been different - not less aggressive, but different.

If they are not literally sisters, but she uses the term like it is used in sisterhoods or covens, then Mel should've known LB, or at least the Black Rose beforehand, which she didn't. She seemed quite caught off guard with all of that. So that also doesn't make sense to me.

So, on this specific topic, I believe LB only called Mel 'sister' as a taunt to further anger Mel and make her acknowledge her own powers. The Labyrthing being both a trial and a training ground, not a prison.

----

Other Things

LeBlanc could have been active in Piltover for a while now, using clones, stealing identities, or relying on Black Rose followers to carry out her bidding.

A few characters who might be directly or indirectly involved are:

This change in her behavior—it didn’t feel like the same person anymore. So, perhaps Maddie was a real person, and LeBlanc either replaced her or assumed her identity to get close to Caitlyn, even if only for a short time.

Maddie

I'm not entirely sure about this one, but it’s possible. Maddie’s behavior suffered a massive shift between her first appearance and her last. At first, she came across as a sweet and innocent angel when speaking to Vi. Later, she turned into an eager lover with Caitlyn, subtly pushing Caitlyn against Ambessa.

Elora had a close relationship with Mel. As her secretary, she managed Mel’s schedule, coordinated communication, and often handled other important tasks, such as investigating specific information for Mel. This is a critical position that could have been incredibly valuable to the Black Rose. It feels possible that Elora was placed there to keep an eye on Mel and report back, which might explain how LeBlanc discovered that Mel’s emotions were the key to her powers.

Elora

Let me make this clear upfront: I don’t think Elora was LeBlanc. However, she might have been a member of the Black Rose.

That said, there’s also the possibility that Elora eventually turned against the Black Rose. If she developed genuine care for Mel, it would explain why LeBlanc had her killed—it would serve two purposes: eliminating a traitor and enraging Mel.

There is Lest too, that works on a similar note as being a key informer, but I don't have enough on Lest for now! Maybe later on.

I'm not saying any of my thoughts are the truth, nor I expect everybody to think like me or agree with my ideas. I just felt the need to express those ideas. They were driving me inside by being caged in my mind xD

Please, take this as a chance on throwing your ideas and thoughts on my way! I'll be more than happy to hear them! <3

[codecicle]

pfp by @/dible-png × | juanaflippa gif by @/etoilesbienne

Hey, I'm Ashton B Codecicle Swagaythor! | he/they/it with no preference between them | audhd | minor | plural | normal about slimecicle | just some guy, please come talk to me ✌️ | more info under cut!

List of blogs

go peep my girlfriend's blog!! @felixisfruity

‼️ cc!wilbur and cc!dreamteam stans fuck off. if i talk about them im always talking about their characters. syscourse is also not welcome here, respect all plurality or die by my blade. sad! many such cases,‼️

HELLO!! gaze apon ye affront to god and despair. If I or any of my posts have made you deeply sigh with shame and regret then i may be entitled to financial compensation! cashapp me 20 bucks rn.

I'm practically everywhere in councilblr/jrwiblr/mcytblr. You should come talk to me about slimecicle! Charlie and/or mcyt-in-general is my special interest im never leaving this place until i die. qsmp dsmp osmp scu smplive smpearth cogchamp sdmp epicsmp.. my servers.... <3 i also watch chuckle sandwich and jrwi + most mcyt-adjacent people

Important Info:

Im a minor ^_^ so i wont be drawing the labia ghoul as i am 15 years of age smiley face (<- inside joke)

We are plural, but don't talk about it too often. Headmates you don't know (like the guy writing and editing this right now LMAO) will use this blog from time-to-time, so if we start talking funny or having different interests suddenly it's probably one of them. Just as a heads up!

I don't fuck w/ proshippers. I don't wanna debate it, I just don't want you following me or interacting for personal comfort. This extends to any and all incest and pedophilia "ships". Censorship is wrong but Please just go play with your toys in your corner away from me and I'll do the same

I LOVE ASKS!!! PLEASE SEND THEM IN!!!! but Fair Warning: I have memory issues and adhd, so there's a chance they get lost to time. I promise it's never personal! I'm just stupid!

Less Important Info:

^ canceled count: 1 ✅️ For crimes of starting a mass roleplay rpf incident on the dash and attempting selfcest again. don't stop the party edit that also exists of My Issues

Collect my crucifixions. 1 [x] 2 [x] 3 [x] 4 [x] 5 [x]

number ONE codeflippa and qcharlie enthusiast and understander. if anyone tells u otherwise run very very fast in the other direction and dont look back its me boy im the ps5 speaking to you inside ur brain listen to me boy

I'm not a stan twitter I'm just autistic

Obligatory polypirates mention to scare off jrwitwt. WE LOVE MOCKINGJAY NAVYSEAL AND POLYPIRATES HERE 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

Here's a big huge collection of people being normal about me 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

(My normal about father-child dynamics shirt was made by felix! <3 and the juanaflippa divider can be used with credit to the artist!! It was made by @/etoilesbienne)

Tag list ahead! if you ever need me to tag something just shoot me an ask or dm and let me know!!!

original posts -> i make yet anothet post just for me 👍

ask tag -> we have mail :]

best asks I've ever received -> askbox hall of fame

self rb -> reblogging my own post

liveblogging -> liveblogging

important things/fave tag -> saving for later

me-coded posts -> me core

photo found! -> identified slimecicle screenshots

qsmp -> qsmp

qsmp fanart -> qsmp art

absurdly powerful dnd podcast posting -> jrwi (i also tag the individual characters)

liveblogging newer jrwi episodes or jrwiepisodes with spoilers -> jrwilb

generation loss -> genloss

slimecicle cinematic universe -> scu

pokemon (autism²) -> poketag

jerma -> jerma is a fucking cryptid

risk of rain 2 (autism³) -> ror2

gayass military game posting -> cod (my alt ccslimecicle is full of this! head over there if you're seriously interested!)

the mcu / mutual cinematic universe -> old little rp thing I once did with my friends ^_^

(old) tag for rares (my girlfriend) -> my love felix <3 <3

Last update on this pinned post: Saturday, August 17th, 2024.

[thesoleilla]

Flufftober Day 13: Secret family recipe

Masterlist Fandom: mystic messenger

Ship: Saeyoung x Reader

Warnings:Mystic messenger spoilers for 707's route, food and really bad eating habits.

Saeyoung doesn't want you to take care of him, but you won't let that happen.

You knew this work was important and could potentially get you killed if not good enough. But hey, he's important too! So... why won't he take breaks? He is still eating those damn chips and sodas!

He didn't even want you near him now... great. This is how the relationship with the man you wanted to marry was going. Yup, that's definetely how most happy love stories start, right?

You had been trying so hard to make him eat something healthy ever since he came here, but none of your plans worked. That meant, you were going to have to use the big measures...

The family recipe.

You were absolutely convinced it would work after all, nobody could resist it. It was an instant mood-lifter for everybody who ever tried it, and you wanted Luciel to join them.

And so, after another rejection of him willingly being healthy, you put your plan into place.

Of course, he wouldn't just eat it by you just cooking for him and would just get angry at you for caring about him right?. However, this was the first step.

Because there were other steps, and since that man won't eat by himself, you decided to make him eat. By any way, you just needed to succeed.

So after cooking for at least 4hours and putting the maximum amount of care into it (something that would for sure make him angry) you had cooked your meal, but also Luciel's future meal, though he didn't know yet.

First, you just left his playe on a table next to his desk, in a part who was technically "your zone" and noticed he was getting more and more getting distracted by it, and hated it.

Then, the main part of the plan was coming in. You took out a spoon and planned to feed him like a small kid who won't eat his veggies, well this was basically what it was anyways!

After all, he was that focused on his work he shouldn't notice it yes?

Well, it worked but not because of this. He was so tired that he didn't notice the spoon, and you before he already had it in his mouth.

When he noticed, he wanted to get angry of course, but, as already mentionned, this recipe has a power on people.

You saw his eyes immediately light up; and even though he still wanted to get angry, clues were everywhere.

His eyes were getting distracted by looking at the rest of the plate every single second, he was holding back a smile and, most importantly, he just couldn't scream at you. This wasn't even the classic case of screaming while crying because he doesn't actually want to hurt you, no this time; no words could leave his mouth. None. He was desperately trying to get angry, you weren't allowed to so this! But it also felt so good.

"Let me guess, you want the recipe? Sorry not sorry, it's a family recipe; you'd have to join to know, but this is too dangerous right? I have another option: I'll cook it for you and let you have the rest if you take care of yourself. Please. I know this situation is dangerous, but not taking care is bringing even worse risks!"

Saeyoung smiled, because even if Luciel should be angry about this, Saeyoung wasn't.

@flufftober

[the---hermit]

Cursed Bunny by Bora Chung

I have seen this short story collection everywhere online in the past months, and after hearing a bit about it I was quite curious. You might know short story collections are easily my favourite type of book, and I feel like they are an amzing way to get to know a new author. I had never read anything by Bora Chung, and I had never read anything by a Korean author before. The fact that this anthology has stories that fit into diffent genres is also great, because you get to see a lot of the author's potential. Since it's not always easy to talk about short stories collections I'll write a few words for each story in the book. The Head is the first short story and it definitely sets the mood. One day the main character finds a head in her toilet and this face starts talking to her, and things move from there. It was pleasently creepy, and it works amazingly as a presentation of what you are about to read, it was one of my favourite stories of the book. The Embodiement is also quite creepy as a concept, the protagonist starts have heavy problems with her period and then things excalate quickly. I feel like the characters the protagonist of this story play the biggest part in creating a very anxious and claustrophobic enviroiment. Cursed Bunny gives the name to the book and it's a really nice tale about a family who creates cursed objects, and deals in particular with one of these objects. The Frozen Finger was my favoruite short story of this collection. It works amazingly, it's creepy and then it gets worse, it's a really simple idea dealing with a car crash. It's just very well done, and it's exactly the type of story I adore. Snare, alongside with Ruler Of The Winds And Sands, feel just like fairy tales. Just like classic fairy talesthey are magical and their plot feel more bitter than sweet when reading. Although these stories are very different this tale-like vibe worked amazingly for me. Goodbye My Love is a sci-fi short story about androids. I personally feel really creeped out by the idea of highly intelligent machines, and when they look human-like things are even worse in my opinion. The idea was very simple but very well executed. Scars was my only dnf of the collection, I noramlly try to push through with short stories, but I couldn't get into the story and I really didn't care for it. Clearly it wasn't for me. Home Sweet Home is the other story that didn't work for me, I did read it until the end, but I found it predictable and way too long. It's the story of a woman buying a house with her husband, but after the purchase many things start to go wrong in her life. Reunion made me think a lot. One of its themes are traumas and how they influence people's life (and death), which was really interesting. Although it wasn't one of my favourite stories of the collection is probably the one that made me reflect the most. I wish I could say more about each story but I don't want to risk giving out spoilers. Overall I feel like this collection is very interesting, I am really happy I picked it up, and I am now very curious to read more horror by asian authors. This isn't really a horror collection, it's quite difficult to place this book in any genre as I said, there's a lot of maical realism, a bit of sci-fi, and much more. I would definitely recommend it, especially because all stories have very different feels, although they tend to be one the creepier side. I feel like anyone could find something they like in this collection.

[albenyx]

You've reached [name]

pairing: kaeya x f!reader (You've reached Sam AU)

Warning: not proofread, angst with some comfort, story contains of spoilers of the book "You've reached Sam" (i used only the ending)

Note: I definitely recommend you this book

summary: the final goodbye.

It didn't make sense. None of it did, first you were dead and second you were here, talking to him through the phone. 

He was confused, but relieved he could hear you again, he treasured each call in case the day where you two finally say goodbye comes.

He wasn't ready, hell he never was! You both had a future planned together, but then you decided to leave this world too early. Too early for his liking, as much as he didn't want to say goodbye he risked your connection. He risked it just to put peace to those who dearly missed you

He hated to risk losing you, but this was his only way to fulfill his promise to you and to say sorry for never appearing in any of your vigils or even your funeral.

And right now, he had to face the consequences of taking that risk

Driving around the area, he goes to the field you led him to, two days after you picked up the phone. He felt your presence somewhere, you were close yet he just couldn't point out where you would be

[Name] I know you're here. I can feel you, because you're everywhere, you're back in the bookstore, there at the lake, somewhere waiting in the fields. All this time I've been wondering why we've been given a second chance. Because I can never completely lose you. You're part of me now, you're everywhere I look, falling from the sky like petals. 

He checks the time to see 12:34 am. It's already past midnight. 

He's confused about where to go in this wide field, his broken phone clutched into his hand, after everything you did for him, he broke his promise.

A promise to at least say goodbye to you before you go, has he.. ruined things again?

He takes a look at his phone trying to turn it on but it never did. 

He's terrified, disappointed as he holds his phone to his ear and talks to you anyway. If we're connected maybe there's still a chance.

"[Name]—" He starts "I can't hear you but maybe you can hear me. I'm sorry! I couldn't get to you in time. I know you wanted us to say goodbye. I'm sorry I ruined everything again. Please don't wait for me, okay? You can go. You don't have to wait. You can move on now!" His voice cracks, tears threatening to spill "I'm going to miss you so much. But I want to tell you something"

"You're wrong about something. You did leave your mark on this world, [Name]. You left your mark on me. You changed my life. And I'll never forget you okay? Were a part of each other. Do you hear me, [Name]?—" His voice gives out, 

Why can't I call you on another phone? 

Why can I only call you on mine?

Only our phones are connected He hears your voice

Only our phones 

He repeats the word over and over again till it hits him and he sprints back to his car, heading to your house, taking the key under the flower pot where you told him it was hidden on the day you two reconnected. 

No one was home, your family went on a trip to your grandparents which he was grateful for, he ran up to your room taking things out of the box, your CD's, your jackets, your guitar picks, and your phone! 

He checks the time 1:45 am he was late, he then checks the battery to see enough for a call, immediately switching your sims he calls your number which you immediately pick up.

"Kae—"

"[Name]!" He calls, his entire body giving out bursting with relief

"I didn't think you'd never pick up!"

"I don't have a lot of time" You say

"It's okay" He says quite loudly, trying his best to stay strong "I just needed you to know I didn't forget you"

"What took you so long to call?" You ask, a hint of worry in your tone

"I broke my phone, I'm sorry—"

"I'm glad you're okay. I was starting to worry" 

"I'm here now" He tells you "I'm so happy to hear your voice, I thought I lost you forever"

"I'm happy to hear you too. I'm glad you made the call even if it's late. But it's time to say goodbye now, okay? I have to go soon—"

A pained expression comes on his face, his heart hurts, but he can't let you go knowing this. I have to be strong He swallows down the pain "Okay, [Name]"

"I love you, Kaeya. I want you to know that."

"I love you, too"

A static comes through the line, he has to say what he needs to say faster.

"Thank you, [Name]. For everything you've done. For picking up the phone because I needed you. For always being there for me."

Silence.

"Are you there?"

"I'm here. Don't worry." She assures me "But I need you to say goodbye now. Okay? I need to hear you say the word" The words come out cracked and broken.

"Goodbye, [Name]"

"Goodbye, Kae"

Right after she says, "I need you to do one last thing for me, okay?"

"What is it?" He asks

"After we hang up.. I'm going to call you again. And I need you to not pick up this time. Can you promise me that?" 

She needs to break our connection for good. She needs me to move on.

"I can.." He whispers, although it hurts him inside.

"Thank you, I'm going to hang up now. Okay?"

"Okay."

"I'm glad we were able to speak one last time." [Name] Says "Even if it was just a few seconds."

"Me too" Kaeya tells you— but the call already ended.

His body goes numb as he sits on the floor, waiting for the call. And the phone rings. The number is unknown but he's aware it's you. He squeezes the phone tight, wanting to badly pick it up, desperate to hear you again. But he can't do that to you. He made a promise. So he let it ring, he let it keep ringing until it stopped, the screen turned black, and he's alone in the room again.

His heart breaks and sinks into the pit of his stomach. He sets the phone down and brings his knees to his chest, crying.

That was it, your connection is over. Just like that, he'll never get to speak to you again.

Kaeya knows he should get up and go home, but he feels like he can't move. So he sits there in the dark. In your room, alone in the emptiness of the house, wishing things happened differently.

And something happens, your phone chimes with notifications from months ago, he checks through them, and he sees messages and missed calls from Jean and Barbara, Diluc, and everyone else who couldn't reach him these past few months.

Here they are flooding back to him, right after he ended his last call with you. Like his phone has been reconnected to the world, like everything is moving once again.

He notices a new voice mail, one dated from tonight. But the number is unknown and he listens to it immediately.

He hears your voice come through the phone. "Hey— so, I'm not sure if I should do this.. or if it will even work. I probably should have said this to you over the phone, but we ran out of time. Or maybe the truth is, I was scared you would think of me differently.. That is if you knew why I picked up the phone that first time—" A pause. "Before we hung up, you said something that made me feel a bit guilty. You said I picked up your call that night because you needed me. Perhaps a part of that is true. But that isn't the reason I answered"

Another long pause.

"The truth is.. I picked up because- because I needed you, I needed to hear your voice again, Kaeya. Because I wanted to make sure you didn't forget me. You see, I took you to all those places— like the fields, to see the stars that night—so that you'd always remember. So that whenever you looked up at the sky at night, you'd think of me. Because I don't want to let you go yet. I never wanted to say goodbye, Kae. And I never wanted you to, either. That's why I stayed as long as I could. So don't blame yourself for anything. It was me that was keeping you from your life. Maybe it was a bit selfish of me. But I was just so scared you'd forget. I realize how it made it harder for you to move on and I hope you forgive me for that.." 

He hears you pause again "Remember back in the fields, when I asked what you wanted.. if you could have anything? Well— I wanted those things, too, Kae. I want to be there with you. I want to graduate with you guys. I want to move out and live with you, and grow old together. But I can't" 

She pauses again. 

"But you still can. You can still have those things, Kaeya. Because you deserve them. And you deserve to fall in love a dozen times, because you are kind and gorgeous, and who wouldn't fall in love with you? You're one of the best things to ever happen to me. And when I think about my life, I think of you in it. You are my entire world, Kaeya. And one day, maybe I'll only be a small piece of yours. I hope you keep that piece yeah?" A static comes through the line

"I love you more than you can ever know, Kaeya. I'll never forget the time we had together. So please don't forget me, okay? Try to think of me from time to time. Even if it's only for a moment, it would mean so much. You have no idea." Another long pause and a static again. 

"I should go now. Thank you.. for not picking up the phone this time. Goodbye, Kaeya."

And the voicemail ends.

Kaeya listens to it again, he listens to it on the way home, and several more times before he falls asleep, he listens to it the next day when Jean and Diluc comes over and he replays it for them l. He listens to it again that night and the day after that, he listens to it on the days he misses you the most, and wants to hear your voice again. He listens to your voicemail until he has it memorized, and he doesn't need to play it anymore.

But he still thinks of you, he thinks of you when he gets coffee, he thinks of you when he passes by the bookstore, he thinks of you when he gets accepted into the college university he wanted to get in, he thinks of you when he hangs out with the others, he thinks of you after a failed blind date, he thinks of you when he has dinner with your family, he thinks of you all the time. 

But this time he thinks of you without the lonely feeling, when he thinks of you he feels at peace and content.

Once again he was all alone, but this time he knows he has a piece of you with him, so he's alone but he's alone with you.

[pegging-slenderman]

This is my first time writing for rdr2 and also my first time using this format so please don't judge

javier x a heavily pregnant reader im talking like extremely hormonal in a fuck load of pain just waiting to relise this crotch demon (set in shady belle) tw: spoilers about character deaths minor angst and details abt child birth

To say the least he would be really concerned for your and the baby's health

Would probably be asking some of the women around camp (like Abigail a miss Grimshaw) if it's normal for you to be pregnant for this long and still not give birth

They reassure him its ok and just tell him the best thing he can do is try and find some remedies that can induce labor

he rides out immediately to get said remedies because 1 he can't stand to see you in pain and 2 he can't wait any longer to meet his baby

Anytime he leaves camp he makes sure to give you and your belly a bunch of hugs and kisses beforehand

He hates going far from camp scared of missing his child's birth

When you guys had moved into the new camp duch gave you guys your own bedroom not wanting you to sleep on the ground

At night when you two are laying in bed he will wrap his arms around you feeling up your baby bumb

When the O'Driscolls raided the camp he pulled you into cover immediately making sure you were safe praying to whatever God out there that you didn't get hit by any bullets

Luckily Charles was taking cover behind a wagon right next to yall and helped him get you inside as fast as possible

Javier normally doesn't cry in front of people but his eyes were filled with tears once he held you his arms asking you " mi amor are you alright?! You didn't get hit did you? Please tell me our baby's okay!" Whilst holding his hands on your tummy

After you reassure him that you and the baby are okay he kisses your head and tells you to stay in cover while he gose helps the others

After the ramianing O'Driscolls run off and everyone Is going back outside looking at keirens dead body javier encourages you to stay inside

Mainly cause he's scared of anything else hurting you

He's pretty tense the next few days not wanting to be more then a foot away from you in fear for your life

Ofc the day he finally decides you can be out his sight safely is when you finally go into labor

As he's sitting by the edge of the alligator infested water all he hears is you scream In pain and he's jumping up running as fast as can towards you

Once he finds you your already being helped by miss Grimshaw into the tent she had set up specifically for when you gave birth

He followed in asking all sorts of questions until he was silenced by your yells of pain that's when just shut up and held your hand letting Ms Grimshaw take over striping you of your skirt and undergarments and placing a blanket over you

He felt stressed watching you in so much pain as birth was not exactly a fast 123 done type thing

You were in labor for 30 painful hours

You would squeeze his hand so hard his knuckles turn white

He would be trying his best to comfort in his native language you buy given your in labor trying to translate what's he saying is not top of your to do list "mi amor lo estas haciendo tan bien"(translation: my love you are doing so well) you just glare at him "either speak English or shut the hell up"

Once you finally give birth to a healthy baby girl javier Is crying tears of joy while holding his little angel in his arms smiling seeing you finally getting some peaceful rest

Oh any you know he is extremely protective of both you and the baby girl you decided to name Veronica after his late mother

The two of you have him wrapped around your fingers

When he was leaving to go rob the Saint Denise Bank he gave you a loving kiss and huge you and Veronica tightly "Los amo a los dos más que a nada en este mundo"(translation: I love you both more than anything in this world)

Ofc when he didn't return it worried you

You feared having to raise this baby on your own whilst mourning your husband

As Charles returned he informed everyone about hosea and Lenny's death and that everyone else escaped on a boat

All you could think about was javier

And all he could think of was you and Veronica pleading whilst being dragged by a donkey "¡por favor! Tengo esposa e hija"(translation: please! I have a wife and daughter)

When he had returned first thing you did when you saw him was jump into his arms crying "I thought you died!" He would hold you close "mi amor I would never leave you and Veronica "

He cried first time he held Veronica again much like he did when she was born

As yall moved camp to beaver hallow you two would have some arguments "you keep doing these goddamn suicide missions your going to leave our baby fatherless!!" He groaned "amor I don't have a choice I just want a better life for us!" You shook your head "yes because being a widowed mother is a better life!!"

One night he was holding Veronica rocking her to sleep and arthur walked up to him looking more sickly then ever

"Your a great father Javier "

"I know "he didn't even look at arther just his baby girl

"Look I get your loyal to duch but something bad is about to happen and I want you and your family safe when that goes down"

"What do you want me to do?! Go up and run with my wife and kid?! I have no money im wanted almost everywhere I go and I haven't know a life where I wasn't on the run since I was a teenager!"

Arthur reached in his coat and pulled out a stack of money placing it on the table in front of javier "just think about your family first "and walked away

The next night you and javier were packing up a wagon just a few more things then you two would get out of there

Arthur came over watching you two pack "I see you listened to my advice javier "

"I had to I can't keep my family at risk like this it's not how I want my daughter raised "javi said as he packed the last bag "thank you Arthur "

"Don't thank me" Arthur shook his head

You walked over and gave him a big hug "im gonna miss you the most. I'll make sure Veronica remembers her uncle Arthur "you smiled

Arthur just smiled and looked at Veronica "that girls gonna go far in life".he then looked at javier again "what are you waiting for get out of here before someone notices!"

Javier helped you get on the wagon then handed you Veronica before getting on himself taking the reines you waved at Arthur as you rode off

[willelmaxism]

(spoiler alert for solitaire, of you haven't read it yet)

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today i started reading chapter 13 of solitaire by alice oseman, and i was REALLY happy, bc of everything that happens with tori and michael at the party, when they watch the beauty and the beast, and when she falls asleep. i'll talk about that part later cause it's AMAZING.

and then i got to the part where oliver calls tori at midnight cause charlie is in the kitchen and locked the door. i had to control the urge to start crying when i read it cause i was taking the bus on my way to P.E. lol, but honestly, i felt broken when i read that, for so many reasons:

1. i can't imagine how oliver must have felt at the moment, i mean, he probably was around when nick and charlie argued, and just picturing him trying to enter the kitchen and charlie there... it's just... a lot. i felt so sad for him in this part, i can't imagine all the things he must have gone througt.

2. i still haven't finished the chapter, because of how i felt at the moment (honestly, it felt like something i should think about before i kept going), so i don't know what was the argument between nick and charlie about and i don't know if alice explains this in the rest of the book. so when i read it, at first i was SO MAD at nick lol, and then i kinda realized that, yk, he's a human being, ofc he's not going to always be so calm and patient and stuff i mean nothing justifies him leaving charlie alone at a mealtime, but at the end of the day, he's just 16/17 (?), and ofc he gets angry sometimes, it's part of being a person lol. i love that alice shows that even though they're really cute together and they *TRULY* do love each other, they're normal people, so they fight sometimes, and that's ok. the thing is, what they do to repare the damage, and i love she showed us that too.

3. this is kind of touching for me, looking at what happened with tori's perspective, because i'm an older sister too, and i'm 16 too lol, so it puts me in the verge of tears the panic that she must have felt when oliver called her. i mean, your own sibling's life is at risk, and you're somewhere else. that couple of seconds, where you realize what's happening, and the only thing that you can do is hope that they're, basically, not dead, it's... inderscriptible, it's incredibly overwhelming. she must have gone through every possible scenario while going home. the fear, when she was getting into the house, of, basically, finding... i can't write it, it's just a lot. all i can say it's that, at a very minuscule level, i feel her.

4. finally, charlie. there's no way i can fully understand what he had been going through, cause i don't really have any close experiences with this but, i'm sorry for him. i can't believe that in this world, there are people that would hurt others so much, to the point where that person believes that their sole existence makes other people's lives miserable. WHY. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?!?!?!? he didn't deserve this. he's so kind and caring of others, he didn't deserve people ruining his life just for fun, just 'cause he chose to be himself. it's so sad because there's thousands of charlie's everywhere. it's something that needs to stop. we all have to do something.

[sinclairsolutions]

Best boy Vasco!!

It might get spoilery but I'll take the risk because I love him too much.

Hell yeah! Spoilers for one of the plot twists, but it’s p vague

First impression

“Oh gosh he’s pretty--oh shit, that accent!”

Impression now

“Oh gosh, he really *cares* so much... I love him...”

Favorite moment

Honestly, my favorite moments with him are some of the first, when we get to see him at the helm of a ship, in his element. He looks like he’s doing what he’s *meant* to do, and it’s just amazing to watch--the cutscenes also have good direction so that helps too lol

Also, though he never said this in my playthrough, “Without wanting to rush you, bantering about the dangers of [spoilers] is appropriate, but...” is an incredible line and i love the attitude it’s delivered with. Like... without wanting to rush you... we’re in a fuckin’ rush, bro

Idea for a story

This has definitely been ficced at least once, but!!! Vasco *does* set sail again, and takes De Sardet with him, and teaches them how to do Naut Things!! Especially good for a De Sardet who [spoiler spoiler]!

Unpopular opinion

I love Vasco dearly, but I think he was short-changed in regards to his personal quests, becasue they kinda... have fuck-all to do with the main plot? (That’s just my opinion tho!) And I’m usually not a stickler for that sort of thing, but because many of the other companion quests feel like main quests--like, I have to keep reminding myself that it’s possible to complete the game without doing these quests and then going ???????? bc it doesn’t seem possible--I feel like Vasco got robbed here!

Favorite relationship

I really love his and Kurt’s friendship--underrated gems are hidden in the companion banter, I tell you what! I also love how much his crew sticks by him and respects him, even though he’s not “officially” their captain any longer. I myself am not a hardcore Vasco-mancer, but I also think his relationship with a romanced De Sardet is adorable--I mean, damn, *the poetry*!

Favorite headcanon

Tattoos everywhere. That is all. (I don’t even mean it in a dirty way--you know what I mean)