#i know aus are kinda overdone but this one is cute i promise

[frisbee-camp]

What’s Hidden Can Be Found|Tyrus Summer Camp AU (complete!)

AO3 link/Wattpad link

Camp Lowland sleepaway camp is an hour drive from Shadyside, where tensions and disagreements have been left for time to mend. But what will Tj and Cyrus do when the past comes chasing after them? Follow the Good Hair Crew and The Good Boys through their annual two-month stay in the wilderness where nature does not care for petty arguments and time has only worsened their situation.

Chapter 4: Forecast

They sunk like a ton of rocks, Cyrus closed his eyes and let the water surround him. The unknown was freezing alright, but it was serene, quiet, gentle. Cyrus thought being reincarnated into a fish wouldn't be half bad. When he came up for air, he saw TJ's hair hanging in his eyes. He was laughing his warm laugh that Cyrus missed so much.

"That was exhilarating!" Cyrus said shaking his own hair out of his eyes. The crowd had gathered on the dock and was whooping and hollering. He saw a couple of them take off their camp T-shirts and jump in with them. Cyrus laughed and smiled as everyone jumped in one by one. His friends splashed and swam and laughed together in the water. For the first time in a long time, Cyrus loved Camp Lowland.

Cyrus could only hope to keep his head afloat but it was impossible to float without bumping into anyone. He didn't know how TJ was able to avoid campers as he calmly floated on his back, Cyrus thought that either he was avoiding people or people maneuvered themselves around him. He was absolutely serene, at one with the surrounding water. He looked like he was sleeping. Cyrus had nearly forgotten about their past, or how he was bruised because of the fall not too long ago. He knew it wasn't his fault, that he slipped and Cyrus just happened to fall. But even after that, they were back to their weird tension-filled longing glances and lingering looks.  He suddenly felt angry at TJ for floating so calmly, how could he just ignore everything? Cyrus splashed water on his face in revenge.

"HEY!" Tj sprang into the water and looked around, "Did you do that?" he said with a laugh and a smile.

Cyrus said, "Who me?" Which landed him getting him splashed in return. Soon it turned into and all around splashing war between TJ, Cyrus, and the other campers.

As the sun started setting, more and more campers crawled onto the beach and close to the fires to warm up. By then, Cyrus started feeling like he was dying. Yes, dying. His arms weren't working how he wanted them to, time had slowed down dramatically, and he felt like making a marshmallow waffle with chocolate syrup and tons of whipped cream. He let himself be led back to the beach by TJ who seemed to be dancing to music he couldn't hear. Tj plopped onto the ground and patted the space next to him. Cyrus thought that was the best idea ever and giggled, actually giggled, which led them both into a laughing fit. Now that he thought about it, Cyrus noticed that a lot of the campers were dancing and laughing more than usual.

Tj laid on his back while Cyrus laid on his stomach closely inspecting a rock in his hands. That rock was very very interesting to Cyrus, it felt like it was giving him superpowers.

"Mcjagger," Cyrus said to TJ as he put the rock in his hand, "this rock-" Cyrus was cut off by his own incessant laughter. He hadn't called TJ Mcjagger for years. Since Tj didn't want him calling him Thelonious Jagger, Cyrus decided that Mcjagger was close enough to lovingly annoy him. He had no idea what was happening to him, "Oh god I-," more laughter this time from TJ, "I'm dyingggg."

"NO Cyrus," TJ said seriously and took his face into his hands, "You're high." They thought it was the funniest thing in the world. But it was suddenly important that Cyrus laid his head on Tjs chest. "What? OMG Cyrus are you okay?" Tj said omg how you spell omg or lol.

"Tj I'm dying," Cyrus said again.

"No no well yeah we're all dying, but you called me Mcjagger, you haven't called me that in a million trillion billion trillion years," Tj lifted his arms to elaborate on how long it had been.

"Whatever whatever," Cyrus didn't want to talk but he also wanted to talk to TJ for the rest of his life. TJ then started singing Whenever Wherever by Shakira to a giggling Cyrus. He joined his horrible rendition.

"Why am I high?" Cyrus asked.

"Because of the bears, the bears, they ruin everything we should rename them jaggers," Tj said to no one in particular.

"The bears?? Oh, shit the bears." Cyrus frowned. He didn't remember smoking the bears, but then he remembered, "T! The gummy bears? You tried to kill me with your own two hands!"

"The gummy bears," Tj repeated.

"I'm dying and you're talking about gummy bears," Cyrus mumbled and sat up, "there's something on your shoulder." A tiny green gecko had crawled onto Tj's shoulder. When Tj saw it he screamed at the top of his lungs, stood up quickly, and ran around in circles to try to get it off.

"AHHHHHHH!!! CYRUS!! A DINOSAUR IS ON MEEEEE!" TJ yelled.

Cyrus knew he was the only one to take care of the job. He stopped Tj and cupped the tiny creature in his hands and left it on a nearby tree. Tj hugged him, "You saved my fucking life," he said as he cupped his face in his hands and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

Cyrus was suddenly grounded, the last couple of weeks of complicated feelings melted away. He let himself be held by Tj for a long time by the lake's shore.

Later, they sat in the shade of the forest. They were both still stoned, but the sunset was nice, it stretched out orange and pink and the clouds reflected the light show.  Cyrus cried. It was so beautiful he couldn't handle it.

"I'm so happy I could die," Tj turned and said to him. Cyrus blinked. The light made Tj look angelic, Cyrus was sure he was sent to make him lose all of his senses. Cyrus kissed him.

It was short, but it got the point across.

"Cyrus," Tj said.

"No, don't say anything. Let me have this moment," he replied as he took Tj's hand. Cyrus didn't know what he was doing. Everything was so weird, nothing made sense, his actions were sporadic and his blood was made of lead. But it didn't matter, he was there sitting with TJ in the middle of the fucking woods. Nothing was real, nothing here could hurt him. If he had his heart broken again, he would just be able to throw it into lake Redwood and go back home.

They laid down in the soft pebbles until the moon was high in the sky. Tj rubbed circles into Cyrus' hands.

Cyrus pointed out the stars for Tj, "That's Capricorn see?" he pointed to stars that almost looked like an arrowhead.

"Yeah I see it," Tj grinned.

"And Ursa major," Cyrus continued, "Corvus, Andromeda," Cyrus listed all the constellations he knew, they weren't many but they still made Tj smile. He didn't even know if he was pointing the right way, the gummies had made him lazy. "And there's Ursa minor, and Orion obviously and why did you ignore me?"

Tj didn't expect the question, he was trying to follow along with Cyrus' astronomy lesson. "I-," he stammered, "I don't know, I thought you didn't want to be around me." Tj was quiet now.

"Who said that?" Cyrus turned onto his side and stared at him.

"No one I just, I don't know. Things have been weird. You act like nothing happened," Tj said to the starry night sky. "I just followed your lead you know. I gave you space. I didn't know what I did. You just said you weren't ready and needed more time. If it felt like it was weird then I just...I don't know, sulked I guess. And I gave you space, like how you wanted." Tj closed his eyes as he said this, "But I never gave up the hope that you'd come back. I never even looked at anyone else, you were the only one."

Cyrus thought about this and felt guilty. That day two years ago, after they had dated for only two months, Cyrus had told Tj that he wasn't ready for a boyfriend. He told him that one day he would, but not now not when school was so hard, his friends were so distant, and he was having panic attacks almost every day. He could only handle so much pressure, he didn't want to risk hurting TJ in the process.

"I'm sorry," Cyrus said quietly.

"I'm serious Cyrus, I waited for you and I'm still waiting for you," Tj said as he looked up.

Cyrus blinked back tears and propped himself up on an elbow, "Fuck you TJ." Tj looked over at Cyrus and frowned. Cyrus felt two years of stress crawl up his throat, "Yeah, that's what I said. Fuck you for being so ughh" Cyrus groaned and sat up all the way, Tj followed. "You're just so unpredictable I hate you."

"You hate me? You literally just kissed me Cy," Tj gave a small smile and raised his eyebrow.

He was right of course, his actions hadn't made any sense, he was going in circles, "I hate that you know me," Cyrus said as he grabbed at bunches of grass, "And it's not the weed okay, fuck. I just! It's everything okay! We break up and I tell you to move on and you don't, you ignore my request and then tell me you'll always be waiting for me? You're just so nice it hurts okay. And! Costume day with Kira, of all people!"

"Cyrus," Tj said concerned as he gently patted his back, "How long has that been brewing?"

"Did you expect me to just brush everything off? Ignore my feelings? I can't fix everyone TJ. I have feelings too," Cyrus ripped up grass and weeds furious at himself for nothing and everything. Not knowing what the hell was wrong with him and not wanting to hurt TJ forced Cyrus to hurt himself instead. He wanted to scream in TJ's face and kick down doors and he didn't know why. He had never felt like that before, and it wasn't the weed's fault. He closed himself off after the breakup and never opened back up, now he was spilling all over the place and he hated it.

"It's not fair," Cyrus continued, "It's not fair, it's not fair." Cyrus sobbed. TJ held him until he stopped.

"Why didn't you tell me all this Cy," Tj said softly.

"I don't know, I didn't know how to fix it so I left it broken," Cyrus said.

"That's okay, not everything needs fixing. Things are allowed to be messy Cy," Tj said kindly. Cyrus shook his head. He had never thought about it like that, he was so focused on having the perfect relationship, that he didn't realize how imperfect relationships actually are. They're messy and erratic and all over the place but that's the fun of it. Loving someone enough to overcome all the insecurities and troubles, TJ knew this. Cyrus looked into his eyes.

"You're right," Cyrus whispered.

"Do you think we could try again?" Tj said as he gently picked the broken grass off of Cyrus' hands.

Try again. Try again? Try what again? Loving Tj? That had never changed. He had never stopped loving him. Everything about Tj was just so perfect for Cyrus that he couldn't handle it. From the perfect hair that always seemed to have one strand hanging in his eyes, how he always defended him, how he'd protect him, how he had the entire school in his palm, Cyrus couldn't even list all the things he loved about TJ. He'd have to talk until the end of time. He decided to open up.

"Yes," Cyrus finally said.

TJ's eyes glittered as he laced their fingers together, "Can I kiss you? Will you let me have this moment?" Cyrus gave an airy laugh in response.

"Yes," Cyrus said.

This kiss was different than the one Cyrus had hastily given him today. This kiss reminded him of how much TJ loved him, Cyrus then knew that his heart had always been with Tj. Tj pulled away far too early for Cyrus' taste.

TJ and Cyrus had been so entranced by one another that they hadn't noticed that the at first sprinkle of rain turned into a downpour. By the time they noticed, the rain had flattened the top of TJ's hair.

"Oh seriously?" Tj said squinting up, "that is so cliche."

Cyrus stood up and dragged TJ up with him as they laughed, "My rom-com dreams are coming true!" Cyrus said. He stood up on his tiptoes and gave Tj another kiss, "But I really don't want to get a cold." The ran was coming down now, fast and cold. Cyrus was shivering.

"Yeah, me neither," Tj said and looked towards the nearby Redwood cabin as other campers raced past them to get out of the rain. "Come on," Tj said and held his hand as they ran towards the cabin.

Cyrus sat on the extra bed in Tj, Marty's and Jonah's room. Tj had given him a hoodie to sleep him. It was about a million sizes too big, but it made Cyrus' heart flutter. It was his Bash Mitzvah hoodie, Cyrus couldn't believe he kept it.

"Where's Marty?" Cyrus whispered to Tj when he came back from doing rounds to make sure no one was lost or killed by a forest creature.

"He's with Buffy, I called on the landline to tell her you were here," Tj laid down on his bed on the bottom bunk. Jonah was snoring on the top bunk, Cyrus had a feeling he'd been asleep for a long time.

"Oh thank you," Cyrus said. The extra mattress didn't have any covers since no one had claimed it.

"Hey, I have something for you," Tj suddenly stood up and rummaged in his bags. He sat back on his bed and opened his palm. It was an intricate green and yellow bracelet. Cyrus came and sat next to him.

"For me?" Cyrus said. Cyrus couldn't remember the last time someone had given him a gift that wasn't on his birthday.

"Yeah," TJ said and placed it in Cyrus' hands. "I made it like three years ago and never gave it to you." Upon further inspection, he saw that read TJK+CG. Cyrus let out a breath and looked over at TJ who was blushing.

"TJ this is so sweet I love it," Cyrus said right away.

"Really?" TJ looked relieved.

"Yes, now help me put it on," Cyrus said.

TJ and Cyrus squeezed into TJ's twin bed for the rest of the night, Cyrus lightly running his fingers through Tj's hair and smiling like a kid in a candy store. He had forgotten how nice it was to have someone who knew you inside and out. He felt like he didn't have to hide around him.

"Right, but we'll live in Malibu obviously," Tj continued. They were now discussing their future together.

"Well yeah duh, I'll have at least five Oscars by the time I'm 40 and you'll be a celebrity physical therapist-"

"And we'll have a dog named Whiskers," Tj added.

"Whiskers? Now that's cliche Tj," Cyrus scoffed.

"Well considering we'll have at least three dogs, I think the odds are pretty high that at least one will be Whiskers," Tj smiled. They were on their sides facing each other with their legs interlaced in the small space, the moonlight dripping over the room and coating them both in a soft glow.

"Fine, but the other two will be named by me," Cyrus said. They were both whispering, it must have been at least midnight and the other campers were asleep.

"Whatever you want," TJ said sweetly, "I'll give you anything you want."

Cyrus' eyes fluttered, "I love you," he said as he traced along TJ's cheekbone.

"You already told me that," Tj laughed a bit.

"When?" Cyrus said, confused.

"When you were on pain meds," Tj laughed a bit.

"Whe-, The pain meds that you caused me to be on?" Cyrus joked and lovingly shoved TJ.

"Look I'm really really sorry you have no idea how sorry I am," Tj said.

Cyrus kissed him to shut him up, "TJ, it's no big deal, you just traumatized me and now I can never go around another river." TJ rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Well, I love you too," TJ said as he looked into Cyrus' eyes, "And I have for a long time."

The next few weeks went by too quickly. Cyrus' new routine now involved following around TJ and cheering him on as he played sports Cyrus didn't know the name of. They spent most of the day whispering to each other and holding hands. TJ was fond of the wildflowers around the willow tree and would bring Cyrus a bunch every morning before breakfast. Cyrus would proudly wear a couple behind his ears as they held hands and went to different camp activities.

None of their friends were surprised when they got back together, not even Jonah who apparently didn't know they had broken up.

Finally, it was time for the last CC, the obstacle course. For some ungodly reason, Buffy had placed Cyrus in the game. There were six stations at the obstacle course; a balance beam, a bean bag toss, a tunnel of some sort, a jump rope, a climbing thing Cyrus didn't know the name of, and a single Rubik's cube on a table. The rules were simple, explained Counselour Moose, whoever finished first won.

"Buffy, I can't do it. I'm not good with pressure involving athletism," He had told Buffy, his cabin leader.

"Yes you can Cyrus, now go," she placed him by the table with the Rubik's cube. Cyrus looked around the field. The four other teams were assembled. TJ gave him a wave from his obstacle course, Cyrus smiled and gave a wave back. Cyrus was bouncing his leg as soon as Counselour Moose blew the whistle. From down the line, Cyrus saw his team members finish their part of the game and tag the person in front of them. He didn't dare look over at the other teams, he had a  feeling that if he did he would surely feel 100% more nervous. Why did Buffy give him the last part of the course? Why did she hate him so?

And then, to Cyrus' horror, Natalie climbed over the climbing thing and tagged him on the shoulder, "Go Cyrus!" she said to a motionless Cyrus. He then clambered to the table and picked up the rube. Suddenly, he forgot what colors go with which.

"What does blue look like?" Cyrus murmured to himself as he moved the little cubes around and around. The crowd was now screaming white noise, he forced himself to take a deep breath. After what seemed like forever, Cyrus finally figured out the cube and ran to ring the bell.

"Done!" Cyrus yelled out, just as TJ said: "Finished!" Cyrus looked around confused as the crowd mobbed them. Oak and Aspen were still trying to figure out the cube, but TJ and Cyrus had tied. Tied. That never happens.

Buffy lifted him as she and the others surrounded him and congratulated him. Cyrus was giddy, he had never won anything sports-related in his entire life. The feeling was new and exciting. He hadn't lost!

"Tied!" Buffy and Andi told him! "You did so good Cy!" Buffy praised.

"Do you know what that means?" Andi said.

"That I didn't lose?" Cyrus asked.

"Yes!" Andi and Buffy both hugged him. Cyrus looked over at TJ who also had a smile on his face and was being greeted by his cabin members.

Later, during the End of Camp Ceremony, Tj and Cyrus sat shoulder to shoulder holding hands as Counselour Moose tallied off the points. Iris' cabin had won over Amber's by 300 points. But it turned out that the tie meant Redwood and Willow tied exactly. They both had won. There would be three trees planted in their honor named Iris, Buffy, and TJ.

"Cyrus! D'you hear that?! We both won!" Tj shook with joy as he took Cyrus' face in his hands and kissed him in front of everyone. Cyrus instantly loved camp.

As soon as camp began, it ended. Cyrus had to say goodbye to his plain roommates, the forest with its freaky animals, the cool waters, even the cat he called Sigmund. For the first time ever, Cyrus felt like he would miss Camp Lowland. Maybe he'd miss it because TJ would miss it. He didn't know, but it didn't matter.

He'd have to go back to Shadyside, with its deadlines and stress, but at least he wouldn't be so alone this time.

"You ready?" TJ said as he took Cyrus' bag for him and held out his hand. Cyrus gave a soft nod and met TJ's hand with his. Cyrus had a yellow flower behind his ear as they walked away from Camp Lowland.

THE END

[smolbeandrabbles]

The Edges - Ralph Anderson x Reader (The Outsider)

@wltz-bby​ @happyskywhale​

Author’s Note: Requested by a sweet Anon 🥰 Thank you for requesting-!

So I thought this was gonna be really short and then I just... did this all in an evening.

I’ve put you in book setting of Flint City and DA Bill Samuels again, sorry 🙈

Also Ralph is an Autumn/Winter baby now, I don’t make the rules.

Featuring a super obscure reference from Episode 8 of ‘The Outsider’

Disclaimer: The Outsider not mine / gif not mine / lyrics not mine / AU no Derek or Jeannie here

Premise: Ralph Anderson could count on himself to say the wrong thing, only this time it’s two days before the birthday you’ve spent all month planning for him. This time he’s not sure if ‘sorry’ is going to cover it... 

Words: 4403

Warnings: Swearing / slight sexual connotations / drinking / AU

______

If life's a puzzle there's a piece for the night we met Next to the one where you drove me home If life's a puzzle there's a piece for our first kiss And it's connected to a summer song And nothing else fit baby before this Love was a struggle So all I know is baby that if this life's a puzzle You are the edges, you're holding all of me together You are the edges making the bigger picture better Before you I didn't know where to start You rounded up the pieces of a broken heart Might take a little time to figure out what the rest is But you are the edges, you are the edges If life's a puzzle there's a piece for our first fight It's bright red and it fits just right Next to the one shaped like sorry On a long ride home from a birthday party And nothing else fit baby before this Love was a struggle So all I know is baby that if this life's a puzzle You are the edges where everything ends and it begins You are the edges and we're gonna fill this whole thing in Yeah Before you I didn't know where to start You rounded up the pieces of a broken heart Might take a little time to figure out what the rest is But you are the edges

---

It was a stupid thing to say. He regretted it as instantly as it came out of his mouth. It was watching the light leave your eyes, all your excitement was gone – just like that. The day was getting later, and he’d had a hard one at work. With two days until his birthday Ralph really wanted nothing more than to have a quiet night in and forget about everything. You, who had spent the last month or so planning his birthday out, could not have had a more opposite feeling. It wasn’t exactly a big secret; you were going to dinner with all your closest friends, and then you’d hired out almost the entirety of his favourite bar to have people come and go as they pleased to wish him happy birthday. And you’d extended that out to pretty much all of Flint City, and your families. So, tonight’s exciting information was that his brother just so happened to be in the area and had promised to drop in. Now, Ralph doubted that would actually happen, but for you to even get hold of Johnny – yet alone get a verbal agreement – was its own achievement. But Ralph was tired, he didn’t care right now, and if he was honest… he wasn’t even sure he wanted a big party with the way he was feeling. So when he just kinda nodded along with an “Uh huh.” And you’d read him and said, “Babe, what’s wrong?” You’d been hit with the very knee-jerk reaction of, “I don’t even want this party! This is all your idea! I just wanna have a quiet birthday!” That not only got increasingly loud, but also angrier. Leading to silence that made Ralph wish he’d just bit his tongue. Then he’d tried to stumble through something else to make it better, but he’d only succeeded in making it worse – and pretty soon you’d been crying and had not only run from the room, but also the house… That was two nights ago, and sitting at his desk on his actual birthday, you hadn’t been home yet. Well, not that he’d seen. Ralph knew he’d overdone it, but he wanted to apologise to your face, rather than over text or call. Besides, he’d actually called your mobile more than a few times yesterday and every single time it went to voicemail. He didn’t want to tell any of his friends that anything was up, and in fact they were just as excited about tonight as you had been. Every time someone called out a cheerful ‘Happy Birthday!’ to him Ralph had to smile and say ‘thank you’ gracefully, even though he was even less joyous about it today than he had been when you’d run out. Eventually Ralph gave in and gave you one last call. Voicemail. Again. There was nothing for it then, other than to hunker down and do his work until he could drive home and get ready for tonight. Yune was the one to tap his desk eventually and snap him out of it, “Yo, birthday boy – it’s go time!” “Oh man, just let me finish this report…” “Uh uh, no way!!” Yune dragged Ralph’s chair away from his desk, and hoisted him up by his arms, “Out! Out! Out! We’re getting rounds in before dinner, I’m buyin’… or Samuels is buying, whatever-! Someone is buying that ain’t you!” Ralph couldn’t help but laugh, “Okay! Okay! Can I shut my computer down at least-!?” “I’m watching you, type another sentence and I’m gonna pull it out of the wall, and you won’t get the chance to save it!” Yune grinned. “Geez, I wouldn’t put it past ya either…” Then Ralph remembered, “Hold on, are you going right now?” “Well, yeah, but our fancy DA won’t be there until a little later – why?” “I… gotta get changed, first.” “Cool, I’ll wait in the car.” Ralph laughed again, “Alright, sweet!” Yune tapped him as they walked back through the precinct, “That’s to make sure you don’t skip out on me! You can’t leave me alone with him, I’ll go insane!” *** They managed to get a few rounds in before Samuels appeared – during that time Ralph tried to forget that the other reason he wanted to be home was to check for signs of you, still nothing – and the DA looked as ticked off as usual. Yune led off, arms folded, “Go on then, which one of ‘your boys’ is giving you jip this time.” Bill Samuels had changed out of his suit too: nice shirt, nice jeans, good black leather jacket – he gave Yune a look to shut him up and turned his unimpressed face on Ralph. “I hear you’re in a lot of shit!” Yune’s expression was unfathomable, “It’s his birthday man, what the hell!” Although when his eyes flicked back to Ralph, the detective looked guilty. Ralph swallowed thickly, “She told you.” “Yeah, she’s been at my place for two days – she won’t tell me everything, but you’ve clearly upset her!” Yune raised an eyebrow, Ralph of course hadn’t told anyone you’d had a falling out. It would make sense for Bill Samuels to know everything though, and for you to go to him. He was your best friend in Flint City, your parents lived out of town so there wasn’t really anywhere else you could have gone. Ralph should have used his detective skills to figure that out – in fact it probably wouldn’t even have taken a detective. “What the hell-!?” Yune smacked his arm, “What happened!?” “It was stupid, but she can’t say I haven’t tried calling her to apologise! She won’t pick up my calls!” “What did you say-!?!?” “I told her I didn’t want this…” Samuels put a hand to his forehead, “After she’s just spent a month planning it out?” “I know! It was late, I had a bad day at the office, I’m an idiot, can we move on?” Bill and Yune gave each other the same look before the DA cleared his throat, “Well after all that, I hope she turns up!” Ralph sighed, turning back to the bar, “Me too.” Yune could only grimace before quickly changing the subject, “Another round guys? What you having?” *** All things considered; Ralph did actually find himself enjoying his birthday evening. You didn’t turn up to the meal however, and after a few reassurances that ‘she’ll be here!’ both from his friends to him and also him to those who joined the three of them, everyone just kinda lapsed into silence about it. Not before Yune had hissed at Samuels to text you. “I can’t force her to come Yune-!” “Well, can we just put the guy out of his misery already?” “Ralph’s a big boy, he can handle it.” “Yeah okay, and whatever he said to her he shouldn’t have. But she set all this up… it’s a shame for her to miss it.” You didn’t reply to the text, but Bill did indicate that you’d read it. When they all arrived at the bar it was done up with banners and streamers, people were already waiting to celebrate with Detective Anderson and seemed to want to buy him round after round of drinks. Ralph just allowed himself to get lost in it all. Turning to the others with a slight smile, “Well, at least we know she was here.” It was nice to see old friends again, and you really had done a brilliant job with coordinating things, digging out people’s contact details and inviting them over from miles around. What struck Ralph the most was how happy they all were to be invited and to see him. The more he heard people say that, and talk about how sweet you were over the phone the more he beamed. “She- she’s really somethin’!” Ralph agreed, with a humble smile, only wishing that as he said it he could pull you closer and watch you get shy, burying your face in his jacket to hide the cute way you would blush. Ralph even received a call from Holly Gibney to wish him the best, “Happy Birthday Ralph!” “I knew you wouldn’t forget.” “I didn’t. But Y/N called anyway to invite me over. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it.” “She seems to have called the entire world to wish me well, Holly!” “Doesn’t surprise me!” She laughed gently, “Give her my love too, Ralph.” “I will. I promise.” If only he could see you to do such a thing. Things got later and he, Bill and Yune were back sitting at a bar chatting about nothing in particular. Including Ralph and Yune summing up cases that were heading Bill’s way and him rolling his eyes, “Brilliant. This sounds so exciting.” And the other two bursting into laugher at the look on his face. At least they were glad to see Ralph having a good time. Making the most even out of a bad situation. *** When you arrived at the bar it certainly was late in the day, groups of people you’d invited all off talking but all still here for him. You were glad of that; it was important that Ralph realise just how much he meant to people – even those outside of Flint City. You couldn’t help but smile as you continued to look around – the owners had let you come in early and spend your morning putting everything up (and also venting your frustrations) and, now it was bustling with people, Ralph’s favourite bar looked even better. Those people who had spotted you were already thanking you for their invites and commenting on how lovely the decorations were. You were taking all of that very much to heart. ‘Worth it in the end, wasn’t it, Ralph Anderson?’ You’d fought with yourself all evening – on the one hand you were scared that he really didn’t want to be here, and that he would just upset you all over again if you turned up and he wasn’t enjoying it, or he was only acting like he was enjoying it. Perhaps Ralph wouldn’t even have turned up at all – although you’d imagine Yune Sablo would have dragged him across town, no excuses. Part of you wanted to stay away out of spite – but then you didn’t want to be spiteful towards him on his birthday. You weren’t sure you could face him over dinner though, so that you’d had to skip and just hoped everyone would forgive you later. You also wanted to make sure that people were here before you turned up, because the ease of conversation between you would be better when the focus wouldn’t be on the two of you as the birthday boy and his significant other. Now to find him… Ralph was not the first of the three of them to spot you; Samuels was the one who offered you a small wave across the bar before nudging him. “Huh?” The DA just nodded and Ralph swivelled on his chair, before his lips parted. You were standing a little way away, and Ralph couldn’t describe you as looking anything other than flawless. Hair and makeup done, your dress was perfect – just the right length to be modest yet show off your legs, sleeves and shoulders in pretty patterned lace, in your hands was a card and present. You stood out in stark contrast to everyone else in the room. You caught his eye and smiled softly, but were clearly waiting for him to come to you. Yune pushed his back, “Go get her, Tiger.” Ralph almost told him to shut up, especially as Bill decided the joke was worth laughing at, but instead slipped from his stool and crossed the room to you. “You’re here.” You nearly giggled, “It’s your birthday, Ralph Anderson, of course I’m here.” “I thought you wouldn’t want to see me.” “I won’t lie, I had to talk myself into it.” His head bowed, “I’m sorry.” “I forgive you, we all have bad work days – I should have known that too.” “No, no. This one is on me, I won’t let you blame yourself.” “Okay, well…” You stepped forward, closing the gap between you, and stood up on your toes – sometimes you loved that he was so tall, sometimes you’d damn him for it - brushing your lips to his, before Ralph pulled you in for a real kiss. Sweet, gentle and apologetic. You knew you had an audience; you didn’t really care. “Happy Birthday.” Sinking back to height you held out his gift, “I hope you like it.” “Thank you.” Ralph took it from you delicately, already chuckling, “Is this what I think it is?” It was so obviously record shaped that he didn’t see how it could be anything else. You gave a shrug, “You’ll have to open it won’t you.” “If this is ‘The Original Washington Square’ I’ll kill you!” “Uh, careful, Detective, there’s a whole bunch of witnesses!” “And a DA and a police lieutenant, but I’m sure we can cover it up if I can get them on side.” “Samuels? Good luck!” He continued laughing, turning it over in his hands, “Can I open it?” “Isn’t that what gifts are for?” He tore carefully through the paper, and then started laughing: The Original Washington Square by The Village Stompers, indeed. “I can’t believe you found it-!” “Took some digging, but some people I know came through.” “Near mint… Aw, Y/N.” Ralph enveloped you in a hug, “I really… really don’t deserve you.” You squeezed him tight, happy to once again be in his arms, “Now don’t you start-! Happy Birthday, darling!” You both stepped back, and he took your hands in his as best he could, “Do you want a drink, or something?” “Actually… I know it’s the party I set up, but I came here to steal you away, Mr. Anderson.” “Oh?” He smiled, “Stealing? You’re walking a fine line there!” “Thought as much!” Ralph turned back to the other two, “Can I say goodbye?” “Mhm.” You ushered him back to them, and at least you watched the three of them banter together before they both hugged him, wishing him the happiest of birthdays – and something that was obviously suggestive by the way he shoved Yune’s shoulder – before they waved him and you off. Ralph draped his arm around your shoulders with a gentle smile, “Alright, you’ve piqued my interest, where are you taking me?” “Ahhhhh… It’s a surprise! Use your detective skills, and you might just figure it out!”

*** Ralph recognised the road you were taking out of Flint City at least – it was the one you needed for the main road to your parents place, so wherever you were taking him, it was easy for Ralph to see how you’d discovered it. “We’re not going all the way out to your folks, are we?” You smirked from the drivers side, “Why? Nervous?” “Not unless you’ve told your dad I upset you two days ago.” “I did no such thing!” You laughed, “It’s just up here, don’t worry yourself.” “As a detective…” Ralph craned his neck, there weren’t many lights up this road to tell him much of anything, “…dark secluded places out in the middle of nowhere tend to get my back up.” “Well thank god I have the FCPD’s finest with me.” He chuckled, and you saw the pink dust his cheeks, “Alright you, I get it.” When you pulled into a side road that Ralph didn’t even see coming, he was glad that your truck was built for off roading, “Yeah, now I’m getting real nervous!” There was a faint glow just up the track and soon you turned again as a tiny collection of quaint looking buildings came into view. Ralph squinted at the sign, “What… is a stargazing ranch?” “Bet you didn’t know Flint City was anywhere near one.” “That doesn’t answer my question.” “It is a stargazing ranch. Is what it is.” “…You’d be so helpful in a police interrogation.” You beamed across at him, “You’re welcome!” You continued on a little way until you came upon another little collection of guest huts, although you were paying more attention to the sky. “Look, Ralph! Look at them!” Well at least he knew now that stargazing was literal. “Where are we?” “You can stay here, but it’s mostly for avid stargazers. Ah, the things you can find on the internet.” “…Right well,” he cleared his throat, “what made you think of this?” “I watch you out in the garden sometimes, but you can’t see them as well there. And I just… wanted to get you alone for a little while.” You parked your truck up, “Your birthday isn’t over, either.” “Are we… staying here?” “Mhm. Don’t worry about clothes and stuff, trust me, you’re covered.” You opened the truck door, “I just need to set up, hold on a second…” Ralph undid his seat belt but waited patiently, giggling to himself at how crazy this seemed to be as you rummaged around in the back of your truck. The tailgate went down and you hopped up and down in the bed for a little while, before you appeared at his side. “I’m gonna need that record and your accompaniment now.” “Can I get out?” “If you close your eyes and trust me.” “This is where I get murdered isn’t it?” “Oh yes.” He laughed, hopping out of the truck, closing his eyes obediently as you took his hand and led him around the back. He heard the flicking of a lighter – Ralph wouldn’t be surprised if it was his own and you’d done a little too much rummaging in his drawers for it – and then sparks, making his eyebrows furrow. “Okay.” You breathed quietly and turned back to him, “Happy Birthday, Ralph!” He opened his eyes slowly, and what came out was a mix of ‘Oh!’ and ‘Aw!’. In the back of your truck you’d set up blankets and pillows to make a comfortable fort for the evening, there was a small cooler for drinks, and a record player. That explained why you wanted the one he was currently holding. But the centrepiece of all this was a cake, three layers of his favourite type with his favourite frosting, inscribed with ‘Happy Birthday Ralph’. Complete with sparklers and- “What is that?” “Oh it’s a fountain… I thought it looked cool!” The shower of blue and silver sparks certainly was something to behold, and Ralph put his hand over his mouth for a second to stop grinning like too much of an idiot. “Oh, Y/N… You didn’t have to-” “YES. YES I did! How can you not understand that? You’re an idiot, Ralph Anderson but you mean the world to me. Heck, without you I don’t know where I would be! And I was SO mad at you! SO mad that you couldn’t see how much you meant to people that they would want to turn up to these things and tell you how much they loved you!! But it took me two days to figure this all out so staying with Bill was kinda a blessing but… Oh, Ralph… I know you think you’re one man to the world but you are the WORLD to so many people. And my world could not exist without you.” He was looking at you very seriously, and all of this was hitting him very hard. Ralph swallowed, fighting back the urge to let at least one tear fall as he wrapped you back in his arms, “Oh… Y/N… I’m…” “Don’t tell me your sorry, I know that… I know.” You wound your arms around him too, “Just… please tell me you realise how much you’re worth?” He pressed a kiss to the crown of your head and smiled, “Sometimes… I think I do. And you’re for sure going to kick it into me.” Ralph pulled back, “I guess I should blow those out and make a wish, huh?” “Yes. You should, but no telling!” Ralph blew the candles out and you let him cut the cake into neat pieces before you both clambered into the back of your truck. He slid the record from its sleeve and set it up on the player, settling back with you Ralph held you in his arms again. You listened in silence for a little bit, content to just eat cake and crack open some drinks in each other’s presence. “Did your brother turn up!?” “No.” He laughed, “I admire your trying.” “Unless he turned up so late that you’d left!” “I hope they gave him hell!” “Oh my god! You think they know who he is to do that?” “He doesn’t look so different to me!” “Don’t know about that, you’re certainly more attractive.” You raised your eyebrows at him. “Oh, we’re gonna trash talk my brother all night?!” Then you both ended up cracking up once more and Ralph turned his attention to the cake, “Okay, this is SO good – did you bake it!?” You blushed horribly, “I should pretend I did. But no, I just ordered it.” “Oh… I’ll forget I asked.” “Haha! I appreciate that!” He studied your face for a moment, before leaning in and kissing you suddenly, making you gasp, “Wh-” “Frosting.” “You are… not as smooth as you think you are!” He cackled, “Yeaaah right, you should see the look on your face!” You shoved him, though knew you were at least a little flushed. Then you did settle back to watch the stars, “Y/N, I know I’ve said thank you a few times tonight but, honestly, your planning is impeccable.” “So… Detective Anderson is telling me he had a good birthday?” “Yes…” “Wow. Not bad when he didn’t want it!” “HUSH!” “I’m holding that over you for a long time, babe, get used to it!” You raised your can with a smile and took a sip. “Just let me thank you!” “I am letting you thank me, gosh, to think you’re usually the one winding me up so easily.” “All I want to say is, thank you for making this such a great birthday… I only wish I hadn’t been such an idiot and you could have shared it all with me.” “Oh, was dinner good?” “Really good.” “I’m glad, it came highly recommended. I was busy up here; don’t worry I did eat. I guess I was worried you wouldn’t want to see me anyway.” “Look I’m just… I’m glad we’re here, now.” You smiled gently as Ralph brushed his lips to yours again, “Me too.” You continued to snuggle together under blankets until the record side needed to be changed and then, as Ralph skilfully flipped it, stayed that way until the record ended. You were happy that the sky was cloudless and that the stars were particularly bright. You’d worried about that all day. “Well,” he looked to the record player, “That was money well spent!” “Oh! I’m not done with you yet…” You rummaged around behind you, and pulled out another box, it made sounds every time you moved it and Ralph once again didn’t need detective skills to know what was inside. “You got me another gift?” “Mhm.” “…Look I know I’m old, but I’m not sure I’m ‘puzzles as a hobby’ old.” “Don’t be so rude and open it! You don’t know what it is!” His grin only told you that this time it was his tease rattling you - as it should be in his opinion - and once again tore the brightly coloured paper from the box neatly. Ralph paused for a second, looking at the picture that the pieces would create. Then looked to you questioningly. “Well, there’s not a picture of us in your office, and you always said this one was your favourite. So, when you’re between cases or you need to take your mind off a case… you can work on your puzzle and after you put the pieces together, you can frame it and put it on the wall-!” “You’re crazy.” “99% of the time, yeah. What’s your point?” But Ralph was beaming, “It is my favourite. But you could have just got me a framed photograph.” “Too easy, Mr. Anderson. I wanted to give you something to do! Also there’s some cheesy line about completing me in there too, but I’m too embarrassed to say it out loud…” He placed the box down and cupped your face in one of his hands before leaning to kiss you into silence again, “Don’t worry,” these words were said between kisses, “I know exactly what you meant.” You wrapped your arms around Ralph as these short sweet kisses continued, and the wind cut in just the wrong direction, forcing you to shiver. “Oh, someone’s cold.” “Well…” You jerked your head behind you, “There’s a whole ass hut back there we can go get warm in.” “Get warm, or get warm?” He questioned, without a hint of suggestiveness crossing his face; smooth one Ralph… “Well…” You thought on it for a minute, “Think that should be birthday boy’s choice.” “Ahhhh… Then I’ll just have to keep you guessing!” He winked, guiding you back to the tailgate you tidied a little before carrying things inside. You were right, it didn’t take long to get a little fire going and for it to warm up nicely. Ralph stood, and admired his handiwork before he turned to you, “Well, you did put on a nice dress just for me…” “Meaning what?” Although the smirk on your face was playful. “Meaning I shouldn’t waste the opportunity to love on such a kind, beautiful girl when she did so much for me today.” He crossed the room before sweeping you up into his arms. You pointed across the room, opposite to where he was taking you, “Alright, Detective Anderson, bedroom’s that way.” Ralph kissed you once again, slow and full of promises, “There she goes again.” “Happy to help, birthday boy.” You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, with a wink, kissing his cheek once more. As he turned on a dime, you still in his arms, he gave an embarrassed ‘we won’t talk about this’ clear of his throat. Well, you wouldn’t tease him about his detective skills just yet. You knew he was about to put them to good use.

---

Thank you for reading!! Thank you for requesting! 🥰

[kpopshitposter]

“Come cuddle.”

Writing Prompt Meme

YAS THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING THIS

I think this got a lil long (I love chan so much) but basically Chan comes into the coffee shop you work in (bc coffee shop AUs will never be overdone) and you fall in love with him instantly because who wouldn’t and then he makes your life better because what else would he do

Potential warning: This contains mention of a parent remarrying and getting a lil drunk at their wedding

If someone were to ask you to describe what happened in one sentence, you’d say a volcano erupted in your heart and destroyed everything in its path. That’s what it was like to fall for him. It was a violent, sudden hot mess.

You had met him by chance and were instantly smitten. He smiled so brightly and made you feel so at ease, so calm. He had this vibrant energy about him that, even when he was simply asking for coffee, you felt beautiful despite the apron wrapped around you.

You found yourself wanting desperately for him to come in. You started trying to look your best and thinking about him all day long. He’d only talk to you in short bursts, but they were always the highlight of your day. You found yourself asking for more shifts just in case he was going to come in. It was so wonderful to have some form of consistency, something to rely on. It was so wonderful to have something become familiar to you, finally, since you moved here and started university.

One morning he made a joke about you seeing each other so often that you’re basically best friends. You tried to not seem too happy about that.

He learned your name.

You learned his. Chris. You treasured this new knowledge like it was an incredibly precious secret.

He starts to ask about you - how long have you been working here? What do you do when you’re not here? It makes you feel so special, like someone cares about you, is interested in you. At first, you’re ashamed of yourself for being so taken by him, but when your world comes crashing down around you and he’s the only one there for you, your heart whispers a very gentle I told you so.

The news comes like a slap in the face. Your father is remarrying.

You’ve never even met his new partner. How could he be doing this? How could he bring a stranger into your life in such a permanent way? To make things worse, he didn’t tell you in person. Oh, no. The coward simply sent an invitation in the post. The only type of communication you’ve received from literally anyone about anything is some weird unknown number trying to call you. Since moving, not even your old friends have kept in touch with you.

When you ring him, he didn’t answer. That wouldn’t be the last time he avoids your call.

It’s barely been six months. You thought you understood him not visiting you since you moved out of the city, but the wedding is going to be near where you live, so he must have visited the venue and didn’t even think to tell you... You’ve never felt so unimportant.

Just thinking about it makes you angry, and it’s not until Chris is in front of you and looking concerned that you realise you’ve been wallowing in your thoughts. Your sniffle comes as a surprise to you. You quickly try to wipe away the tears begging to reveal themselves.

He doesn’t ask if you’re okay, because that would be a pointless question. Instead, he directs his request to your colleague. He doesn’t want to bring attention to you. You smile at him gratefully but it doesn’t reach your eyes. You find your chance to slip out the back and crumble to the floor of the car park.

You’re not sure why you’re crying. Maybe too much has changed at once. Maybe you feel betrayed. Maybe you thought out of everyone, you were a priority to your family. The last thought is the one that sticks with you. You’ve never been a priority for anyone, have you? Your father never cared about what view you might have on this, he never cared enough to introduce you two. If he doesn’t, who would?

The tears aren’t just half-there anymore. Your cries are coming out loudly. Why can’t you camouflage into this wall? Why, why, why? Why do you even bother?

The sound of your name startles you. You gasp, red eyes landing on the sweet-looking boy standing over you. You quickly try to rectify your image, fix your face, fix your hair, fix your clothes. Smile. Laugh. Be strong, for once.

He slowly kneels down in front of you. “What happened?” he looks like he really cares. You look back with distrust. “You might feel better if you talk to someone.” You continue to stare at him. “Oh-” he shifts and reaches into his pocket to bring out some tissues for you.

When you clean your face and wipe your nose with them you decide this couldn’t be more embarrassing.

“Please don’t keep it in, that will only hurt more.”

You want to ask him why he’s so nice to you, but you’re afraid you won’t like the answer.

“My dad is remarrying.” he tilts his head like he’s expecting more of an explanation than that. “I… that’s not the issue, that’s fine.” you don’t want him to think you’re selfish. You explain the full situation. How long does your rant go on for? You’re not even sure. You let it all out. You let everything out. How alone you feel.  How unimportant you must be. “I don’t even think I want to go to the wedding at this point.”

“Why not?”

“It will be so awkward and I’ll probably just end up having a mental breakdown in the middle of the ceremony.”

He’s somehow ended up sitting on the ground beside you. “Wouldn’t you regret not going? The way you feel won’t last forever.”

“Yeah, well, I might regret going, too.”

“But at least you can say you tried. You should still go. If you really can’t handle it you can leave early, but if you don’t even try you’ll always wonder. You shouldn’t assume the worst without knowing anything, maybe he cares so much about you which is why he’s scared to talk to you.”

That rings a little too true. You feel bad for jumping to conclusions and that kind of makes you want to start crying again.

“Even if it’s not awkward I’ll end up spending the entire time alone. I…” you take a deep breath and rub your face. Unless ... “Would you… go with me?”

“What?”

“I know I’ll chicken out without someone to force me.” you also might be finding an excuse to spend some time with him. “Plus, if it ends up being the worst mistake of my life it will be your fault that I went. It’s only fair you go, too.”

Chris looks like he’s thinking it over and you expect to hear don’t be weird, we barely know each other, but instead, he says “Deal. I’ll go with you, and if you end up regretting going I’ll treat you to whatever you want.”

“Yeah? Promise?” He scoops up your pinky with his own and presses his thumb to yours. You feel your whole body ignite with life.

“Yaaaay!” he cutely cheers, wiggling your hand. “It will be fun.”

So, that was that.

You exchanged numbers and smiles before you went back in to finish your shift.

That night, and every night, and every morning, and every afternoon, you spend time staring at your phone. You want to message him so much, but you had no excuses (at least, none that wouldn’t come across as totally creepy). You’d think about funny ways to continue conversations you might have had when he came into the shop, but nothing came to mind.

By the time it came to planning for the wedding you had stared at his number so much that you knew it by heart. So, when it popped up, you almost smashed your phone screen by dropped it down the stairs. It was a picture.

You hesitate before opening it and the moment you do you squeal. Oh. Wow. Is this a dream?? It has to be a dream right?!

You don’t know how to process this.

A second picture comes through shortly after - of him in a white suit.

You sit on a step and try to calm yourself down. He looks so cute it’s painful. You kind of want to cry (but you won’t, because that would be weird).

The pictures make this all feel so much more real. He’s taking you to a wedding. Shit. What are you going to wear??

Okay. It’s been 20 minutes and you haven’t replied yet.

[Text:] I love both omg!!!!!!!!!

Yeah. Way too creepy. You’re quick to delete that.

[Text:] You look good in both of them!

Uhhhh slightly too creepy. Delete!

[Text:] Whichever one you want.

Too aloof. You’re getting annoyed at yourself now.

[Text:] I like both of them, but probably the white one.

Nice. Send!

[Text from Chris:] I was worried I messaged the wrong number for a while.

He responded so quickly that you barely even had a chance to stand up.

[Text:] Sorry, was kinda busy :)

[Text from Chris:] What are you going to wear?

That sends you scrambling up the stairs and into your bedroom. Excellent question, Christopher! You start to rummage through things, finding the sexiest thing you own which fills you with the most confidence. You tidy up and sort yourself out as much as possible before sitting on the edge of the bed and positioning yourself to get a picture. You take as many as you need until you get the perfect one. You get a call from an unknown number and hang up. You don’t have time for people trying to sell you stuff or telling you that you’ve been in an accident recently.

[Text:] Maybe this? Not sure, it’s kinda old and I have a few better things…

You smile proudly at yourself. That was so smooth you can’t believe you - wait. You zoom in. You groan loudly. Underwear flung over your chair that you forgot to move! How could you not realise that?! You face plant into your pillow.

When your phone buzzes, you kind of hope it’s the grim reaper texting to tell you it’s time.

[Text from Chris:] You look amazing - you’ll be turning heads! :)

Maybe he didn’t notice or maybe he’s way too gentlemanly and sweet to comment on it. Either way, you feel yourself fall for him even harder.

After that, it’s a lot easier to message him whenever you feel like it. You send him cute dogs you say look like him. He sends you kittens he says look like you. You tell him about all the crazy customers you had and he soothes your soul with every words he sends you in response.

The day of the wedding comes and he’s waiting outside for you in the cab. You check yourself nervously 1,000 times and consider bailing 10,000 times. Your dad still hasn’t responded to any of your calls - all you’ve been getting is a bunch of random spam. Did he sell your number or something?! You don’t know whether you’re meant to be angry or hurt at this point.

Chris eventually lures you out of the house. When he sees you he smiles.

“Wow… you…” he clears his throat.

“Oh-” you play with the material by your sides, “you look really n- good!”

He seems to blush a little and covers his face slightly with his hands. You can barely even appreciate his cuteness because of how anxious you are.

He opens the car door for you and helps you slide in. You get another call from the unknown number, which leaves a voice message for the 20th time. You delete it instantly. You’re so fed up with being pestered.

The journey to the venue is filled with little glances and attempted smiles. You pat your chest to tell your heart to calm the hell down. He must be able to read your mind because he gently touches your arm.

The car stops at the venue and Chris insists on paying the driver. He even helps you out of the car. Under any other circumstances you’d probably get flustered by this, but you’re too afraid of what’s about to happen to really take it in.

You go in slowly, afraid that around any corner might be your father. You don’t see him until you enter the reception hall itself. He’s standing at the end of the aisle, wringing his hands. When his gaze finds you, he breaks out into a large smile and rushes over.

Okay. You weren’t expecting that.

He pulls you into a big hug and Chris smiles, stepping back to allow you space.

“I thought you weren’t coming!”

You’re so confused.

“I texted you that I was…” your response comes out struggled from the tight hug.

“I didn’t get anything.” your father frowns, releasing you and bringing out his phone.

“I called you a billion times, too.”

“You did? Let me see.”

You show him your call history and he blinks.

“That’s not my number anymore.”

“What?!”

“I tried calling you to let you know that I changed my number. I even left you voice messages. Didn’t you get them?”

“Oh…” you glance at Chris, “I thought it was spam so I didn’t answer any or bother with… why didn’t you text me?!”

“I couldn’t figure out how to, and since you moved out of the city it wasn’t like I could just come see you easily! When we came to see this hotel I tried to meet up with you but you kept hanging up the phone.”

You laugh at yourself, a bitter, miserable laugh. Chris was right. You shouldn’t have anticipated the worst. You shouldn’t have been so paranoid about answering the phone.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he says, and you bite your lip to distract yourself from your watering eyes.

“I am, too.” you sniffle.

“Who’s this?” he leans around you and offers his hand to Chris.

“Hi, I’m Chris. It’s nice to meet you.” Chris smiles, taking his hand in both of his and lowering his head politely.

“Nice to meet you too.” he looks between you both. His name gets called and he glances away. “I have to go, it’s about to start. Take a seat at the front-” he ushered a couple of apparently less important out of their seats to make room for the two of you.

You wonder how much Chris is holding back from gloating that he was right. He doesn’t seem like he is. He just seems happy and proud.

The music starts and you’re back to being nervous. You’re going to see her. For the first time. You’re going to see her.

You’re wrinkling your clothes by how tightly you’re squeezing the material over your thighs. Chris takes your hand and shuffles closer to you.

The further into the ceremony it gets, the more you squeeze him. Your father cries. That’s how happy he is. That’s how glad he was to say I do. To this woman. Whom you’ve never met.

Your family is now only going to be half-familiar to you.

You feel so guilty. You can’t be happy for him the way he deserves. Chris would remind you that regardless of the evil feelings festering inside of you, you’re still there. You showed up. You endure the entire ceremony, and now it’s time for the after-party.

You take your seats and a deep breath. Oh. Alcohol. Nice. You pick up a bottle and pour yourself some. When you offer it to Chris, he shakes his head. You’re not aware, but he wants to stay sober out of worry for you. He’s watching you in concern as you swallow gulp after gulp. You’re trying to drown your guilt.

The newly married couple make their grand entrance and you drink and drink. Their first dance. You take more sips.

You haven’t even said two words to your new mother-in-law… and you’re starting to think that was your own fault. Maybe you’ve just been ignoring signs. Maybe you’ve been too self-absorbed. Maybe the problem here is you, not your father. He deserves so much better.

“I think you should slow down.” Chris tries to take your cup away, “Eat someth-”

“Don’t. Don’t bother.” you might not regret reconciling with your dad, but you sure as hell regret coming and you definitely are starting to regret coming with Chris. You’ve probably misunderstood him, too. You’re probably thinking he’s your friend and he just feels sorry for you.

“There’s bread h-”

“Look, can you stop?!” it’s a good thing the music is so loud. “You got me here. You’re done with your end of the deal. You can leave now.”

He looks hurt and confused but you’re only seeing red.

“It’s great that he’s happy but I don’t know who that woman is. Now she’s part of my family and she’ll have to put up with me like everyone else. You don’t have to worry, you’re excused from pretending to like me.”

“I… haven’t been pretending.”

You grab your bag and stand up. The world sways. You stumble your way past the tables. You need to get out. You’re sure nobody in that room wants to see you. You get out of the hall and into the lobby, you’re determined to get outside while ignoring the strange looks. Even when you lose your balance and fall you still are only focused on escaping.

Hands on your arm are trying to help you to your feet.

You can hear your name.

Everything is so off-kilter. It’s all so wonky and impossible to see. You fall again as soon as you’re standing just by attempting to take one step.

Soon your feet are leaving the ground. You’re being scooped up in the arms of someone you can’t really make out. You’re mumbling to be put down, trying to scramble away from the arms which are cradling you. You’re too weak and apparently too quiet, so you start to shout louder. Put me down, put me down!

But some sort of exchange where you’re being shifted about is happening and soon you’re vaguely aware of being carried into the lift.

You’re able to focus a bit better when you’re still. You start to smile and giggle.

“Are you an angel?” you ask.

The beautiful man doesn’t reply. He just watches the floor number in the lift go up.

He shouldn’t have let you drink so much.

You end up falling asleep against the lovely warm chest you’re being held against. You drift in when your weight is being tilted this way and that so that a door can be opened. You’re laid down on a bed.

A wet towel is being put on your forehead and you’re being guided up into a sitting position and handed a cup of water. It’s then that you realise it’s Chris.

Ugh.

“Why are you here?” you snap.

He sighs. “Drink this. I’ll order some food to the room.”

“I said I don’t want it!” you swat and accidentally knock the cup back against Chris, wetting his suit.

“Stop it.” he sternly says, putting the cup down on the bedside table. “You’re acting childish. Don��t fold your arms at me like that. You already figured out that your dad was trying to call you so why are you still so upset?”

“That’s why! It’s my fault that he couldn’t tell me. He probably tried to get me to meet her a hundred times and I’m sure I found a way to avoid it! It’s my fault that all of this happened! It’s my fault that I felt that way and it’s my fault that I don’t know her. He probably doesn’t want a waste of space like me in his life anyway - I’m sure he was really happy to get rid of me. On top of that you’re still pretending to care!” Your phone is ringing. It’s the same unknown number as before, which must mean it’s your dad trying to find out where you are. That makes you feel even more guilty, which makes you feel worse about who you are. You hang up, which makes you feel worse on top of already feeling worse. It’s a swirling mess of emotions.

“I told you I’m not pretending.”

“Whatever! I get that you’re a nice guy, that’s really great. But it’s not fair! You’re making me like you and you probably don’t even realise! You made me feel special for all of five minutes but your work is done. It’s fine if you don’t want to be around me-” that goes on for a while. You rant about how you’ve fallen for him and how he doesn’t even care and how he’d be dumb to like you back anyway and you rant and rant and rant and Chris doesn’t interrupt you. He allows you to get it all out. He listens to you patiently, refilling the cup of water for you each time you drink it, taking off your shoes, making sure you’re comfortable. He finds some snacks which were already in the room.

By the time you’re done complaining he’s leaning over you. One hand on the headboard and the other on the bedside table.

“Do you think you’ll remember this tomorrow?” he whispers.

You’re tense and confused. You still your body and look into his eyes. He doesn’t mind the smell of alcohol on your breath as you attempt to bitterly reply “I’m sure I will.” Jackass. What is that supposed to mea-

He leans in closer and parts your lips with his own. He steals your breath.

When you start to kiss him back he places fingers under your chin.

Chris gets on the bed and straddles your lap.

“What are you doing?” you whisper.

“You won’t believe my words, so I’m showing you. Is that okay?”

You’re definitely sobering up now.

“I’m thirsty.” when you say that he raises the cup to your lips. When you’re done drinking he sets it aside. “I just… I really…”

“What?” he asks when you don’t finish your sentence. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I really hate myself, you know?” you can’t believe how much Chris has seen you cry.

Chris nods. “I know.”

“What do you know? Everyone loves you.”

He shakes his head, “I’ve had really bad anxiety. I know what it’s like to feel like you don’t want to be with yourself.” he dabs the towel against your forehead. He’s still in your lap.

“Oh.” You keep managing to make yourself feel guilty today.

“Eat some of this.” he picks up the biscuits he found and opens the packet. He feeds you. Your heart is beating wildly as you take it in your mouth.

“Do we have to go back downstairs?” you ask.

“I think the wedding is over now. You can talk to your dad tomorrow if you don’t want to let him know you’re okay now. I think you should sleep this off before seeing him again.” Chris is right - your dad would kill you for getting drunk and ending up in this position.

“... You think I should sleep... here?”

“Yeah. The room has already been paid for. I’ll leave.”

“N-no.” How do you say this without sounding too desperate? “Don’t go. I don’t want to be alone.” Chris nods and brushes dried tears from your cheeks.

“Let’s go to sleep.”

You can barely believe that this is happening. You feel the butterflies in your stomach grow into shy dragons as he gets up and removes his blazer. He’s getting comfortable to spend the night with you. You nervously get under the covers, taking deep breaths with every movement.

You’re so shy at first, and so is he. He smiles at you when you’re both all bundled up. He takes your hand and moves it to his lips.

“This wasn’t how I imagined telling you how I felt but… I didn’t want you to be upset for no reason.”

“How long have you liked me for?”

“I’ve always kind of liked you, that’s why I kept coming back for the gross coffee you make.”

“Hey!” you both laugh.

You seem to fall asleep smiling, because when you wake up the next morning it’s still there.

There’s a moment of unfamiliarity until it all comes back to you.

Chris is still sleeping and he looks so perfect.

You try as silently as possible to get up and creep into the bathroom. You’re shocked by your own reflection. You look like a mess. As quickly as possible you start to try and clean yourself up, adjusting your clothes and your, uh, whole face, basically.

When you’re as satisfied as you can be you try to slide back into bed to pretend you just naturally always look like that, but the mattress shifting wakes him up.

He groans and stretches. He rubs his eyes and squints out at you. He smiles lazily and holds out his arms.

“Come cuddle.” he says tiredly.

You can’t believe you’re hearing this. You can’t believe last night wasn’t a dream. You can’t believe you’re actually lowering down onto him. You can’t believe this is your life now.

[bards-witcher]

Feel - TerrorOhm

This fic is dedicated to @dazednerd​ and is based on her soulmate au, I’m really sorry it took so long to make this for you :’( I changed a couple concepts up but I hope you enjoy it all the same :D

Basically, you dream about your soulmate, but you only really remember touch from the dreams. I’ve also added that if you meet your soulmate and you believe it’s unrequited then you lose the ability to see color.

If people enjoy this au then I’m happy to try and write other pairings as well :D

[Ryan POV]

He tore through his front door, barely paying any mind as he slammed it shut, tears streaming down his eyes. He ignored his mothers’ calls, instead running up the stairs before shutting and barricading himself in his room, only then did he finally curl up in a ball on top of his bed, letting sob after sob wrack through his body until he was too tired to do anything else but sleep.

It’s not too long until he fell asleep, and he dreamt a warm arm snake around him, pulling him against an even warmer body and any tension he had visibly melted away as he relaxed into the boy behind him. Next was that all too familiar voice that began to filter through his dream, one that was so familiar to him here but for the life of him he couldn’t remember when he was awake. 

“Those fuckers treat you like shit again?” He felt the light graze of Brians’ lips on the nape of his neck, sending a shiver down his spine, although the younger boy seemed relaxed he could feel the quiet anger that stirred within him. All he could do was nod, not wanting to break the moment between them. “What I wouldn’t give to punch them arseholes in the face”

He let out a quiet hum as they both settled into each other, even in their dream together they napped, wrapped up in one other, simply enjoying the contact whilst they could as it would be all they could remember when they woke up.

He silently cursed when he woke up to a knock on his door, blinking his eyes open as he leaned up from his position on the bed, casting a quick glance outside to see that it was dark. Slowly making his way off of his bed before moving the chair that had blocked his door and greeting his mother’s worried face.

“Is everything alright sweetie?”

“Yeah mom, don’t worry. I just overreacted a little”

His mom cast him a dubious look “There must be something we could do, the principle –“

“-is not gonna criminalize a whole sports team when most of them are expected to get honors. I just need to keep my head down”

He could see tears brimming his mothers’ eyes and he can’t imagine how helpless she must feel in this moment, she gives a quick nod as if reassuring herself before answering “Okay sweetie, but if it escalates any further I will light a fire under that principles ass the likes of which he’s never seen”

He couldn’t help but laugh a little at that, his quiet murmur of ‘promise’ earns him a smile from his mom before he leaned forward to hug her, enjoying the brief moment between them before pulling away.

“Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes okay?” He gave a brief nod at which his mom smiled before turning to head back downstairs.

Once she was gone he turned and headed straight towards his bed, grabbing one of his pillows in favor of holding it close in pretense of having someone there. In the dredges of his memory, he can remember a warm body and a comforting hand, remembering the comfort and warmth that had been within those touches. Try as he might he couldn’t remember anything else from his dream, not a voice or a face or even a name. 

He knew the rule, of course, he’d only ever remember very little from his dreams with his soulmate, and even then he’d only remember some of the more comforting touches between them. But, a part of him had hoped beyond hope that maybe he’d have some sort of defect that would allow him to remember, to cut out the middle man so he could know his soulmate from the start, but alas no such luck.

With a final sigh, he got up from his bed, dragging his feet towards the bathroom where he washed his face, taking a quick look at some of the bruises that were starting to form just under his collarbone before heading downstairs.

He rushed into the small coffee shop, glancing down at watch and cursing at how behind schedule he was. Even though it was his day off he liked to have some form of regimen but for the first time in a long time he’d slept in and he was now running around like a headless chicken to make up for it.

He was in such a hurry that he didn’t notice the guy right in front of him, coffee in hand, before it was too late, a litany of swear words leaving the Irishman’s voice as he narrowly avoided his coffee being spilled over himself.

“Oh, shit I’m so sorry, are you alright? I didn’t get any on you did I?” His hands moved around haphazardly in an effort to assess the damage but not to invade the stranger’s space.

“I’m good, just about, but you owe me a coffee” the smile the taller man aimed his way told him that he wasn’t truly angry but he couldn’t stop the guilt filling him up.

“Of course, shit, I really am sorry”

“It was bound to happen at some point” He couldn’t help the confused expression on his face at which the Irishman smiled before continuing “you know one of them romantic clichés that are overdone as fuck in movies. Of course, my luck would have coffee spilled over me” He stared in disbelief at the man who only seemed to turn a light shade of red before looking away “Keep lookin’ at me like that and this may turn into a rom-com” 

He blinked as if returning to awareness before quickly diverting his attention away, bright red coloring his cheeks, as he moved further up the queue “So, what’s an Irishman doing in Chicago?”

“Apparently havin’ his day ruined by some cute fucker” He turned bright red and was about to start apologizing before the man stopped him. “I’m just messin’ wit you. Decided to come ‘ere for a little holiday, dunno why, just kinda felt drawn ‘ere, know what I mean?”

He hummed in response, the two of them falling into a comfortable silence as they approached the front counter. He quickly listed off his order, which earned a scoff from the man next to him, before he placed his own order, leaning into the cashiers’ ear to whisper something at which she simply smiled before he paid for their drinks. 

They moved out of the way of the people behind them in favor of looking around the small shop until their names were called out. He stared at his cup confused as he looked at what appeared to be a phone number written on the side of his cup, he glanced towards the barista who had made his drink, however, she was too busy preparing peoples’ drinks to notice him.

“Call me” He turned to stare at the Irishman who had a smug smile on his face, throwing him a wink before turning to leave the store, leaving him to stand there dumbfounded until he finally got some semblance of control.

He quickly keyed the number into his phone before hitting call, it only rang a couple of times before the familiar voice from only moments ago answered him. “That was fast”

He laughed down the phone, mostly out of nervousness “Wanna grab a coffee?” He heard the mans own answering chuckle down the line.

“Ya know I could really use a guide to see what’s in the city” He couldn’t help the smile that lit up his face, for the first time ever happy in the change of his plans.

“I’ll be there in a minute” With that, he hung up the call and headed towards the direction he’d seen the Irishman walk, already planning in his head all the places he’d take him to see.

He let out a sigh as he entered back into his apartment after having dropped Brian off at his hotel. His day with the Irishman had been fun, and he couldn’t wait to see him again in a few days for another tour before he left. 

However, it was in the quiet that all his thoughts came racing forth, he remembered the moment that he’d learned Brians’ name, how his breath got stuck in his throat and he could feel his heart stop for a moment. He knew Brian was the name of his soulmate, being able to retain very little from their dreams, only touch, they had started to trace on each other personal details in the hopes of remembering them the next morning. 

It took some time getting used to but even that form of communication seemed limited, being able to only retain names, not locations or jobs or even details on how they looked. For all these years that name had been enough but now he couldn’t be sure, the fact that the man he’d met today could be his soulmate only made his head spin. 

It definitely didn’t help that at some points during the day their fingers would graze against each other, causing some stirrings in his memories that he’d felt those hands before. In fact, at one point, Brian had held him back, hand on his chest to avoid a crowd of people and he could’ve sworn his heart stopped. He could feel Brians’ warmth even through his layers of clothing and he was reminded of longing touches and spilled secrets in the dead of the night. 

The thought of Brian touching him triggering feelings he’d only ever associated with his dreams with his soulmates arose a multitude of questions he didn’t have the heart to answer just yet, instead forgoing that route in order to make some dinner.

It was a couple hours later that he was in his bed trying to get himself to fall asleep and hoping beyond hope that today he’d dream with his soulmate. After another hour of trying to will himself to sleep, he finally felt unconsciousness taking its hold, a voice coming to him seemingly out of nowhere which brought a bright smile to his face.

“Took ya long enough”

From the moment he saw Brian in his dream he knew. Knew that the man he had met today in the coffee shop was him, his soulmate, the man who knew anything and everything about him and had been there constantly as a form of support.

He fell into the taller man’s arms, said arms holding him tight as he felt a kiss being pressed against his head. “A part a me knew that it was you I met today”

“Was it my charming good looks?” He looked up to Brian who only scoffed in response to his question before letting out a small chuckle, placing both of his hands on his face with a look of endearment.

“It was more so cause you spilled my coffee on me you clutz” He tried to keep himself composed but by the way Brian was laughing it had failed, the hands that were once gentle against his face were now pinching his cheeks, baby voice in place “You’re so cute when you pout like that”

He managed to shake Brians hands off of him, placing a quick jab against the Irishman’s’ side whilst he was laughing which elicited a childish shriek from the younger man. He only made it so far before Brian tackled him and launched his own attack on him. 

Once they’d settled down they spent the rest of the night having lazy conversations they knew they wouldn’t remember, but appreciated all the same, all the while tracing lazy patterns over each other’s arms, legs, back, any part of each other they could touch. Making the most of every moment before their haven would be lost again.

He woke up with an ache in his heart and if he focused he could still feel the path Brians' fingers took over his skin, and that’s how he stayed, not wanting to disturb the last remnants of his dream before his second alarm went off, signifying that he really had to get up.

He smiled when he saw a good morning text from Brian asking for any recommendations on where to go. He quickly typed out his response, suggesting the pier, Skydeck and a couple museums, hopefully, it’d be enough to keep him entertained until they met again in a few days’ time.

The next few days seemed to both drag and fly by like a whirlwind, the moments he could steal from work were used to see the latest pictures Brian had sent him about his wonderment of the city, bringing a smile to his face.

It was Thursday and he had the next three days to entertain Brian, which he was all too happy to do, struggling to keep the small smile that had made its home on his face as he waited for Brian to meet him outside of his hotel.

It was with a sickening feeling in his gut that he saw Brian walking out of the hotel with a beautiful woman on his arm, laughing at a joke she must have told him, a laugh which he’d prided himself on having gotten from the younger man a few days ago.

He composed himself as well as he could as they approached, both seemingly engrossed in their conversation until the pair were almost toe to toe with him, Brian casting him a warm smile in welcome.

“Hey Ryan, this is Cara. I met her in the lobby last night, she’s Irish as well! I hope you don’ mind if she tags along, I’ve been tellin’ her what an amazing tour guide you are.”

He did his best to swallow the bile that had risen in his throat as he nodded, he saw a quick flicker of what seemed like worry cross Brians’ face. He quickly turned and headed in any direction, not bothering to look back to see if they were following him, but by the loud laugh, he heard come from Brian told him that they were.

The rest of the day was hazy as he blindly walked through the streets, here and there stopping to allow the pair to take photos before heading off again. He didn’t really want to talk to either of them, didn’t want to be there with them, instead feeling his stomach drop every time he heard their whispered conversations and loud laughs, too far gone to notice the slight greyish hue that that seemed to color his vision.

At Brians insistence he went to dinner with them, nothing fancy, just a small restaurant which he had assured them was amazing. He tried to smile here and there over dinner, Brian every now and then casting a glance his way which he ignored in favor of staring at his drink.

It was when Brian had gone to the toilet that the woman who had seemingly set out to ruin any chance he had with the Irishman, spoke to him. 

“So, do you know if Brian’s single?” He’d grown to hate that sickly-sweet voice, he’s sure she’s a nice person and under better circumstances, they may have gotten along, but as it stood there was no one he wanted to talk to less.

“He has a soulmate” He mumbled, struggling to believe his own words as he said them, at which the woman only scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“Well duh, doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun though” The very thought made him want to throw up. He couldn’t explain his attachment to Brian, doesn’t know if he wants to, and it’s when he’s about to leave that said man returns, offering a hand to the woman as they get ready to go.

Similar to how he’d spent the rest of the day, he walked them back to their hotel in silence, ignoring the sting in his eyes as he saw Brian wrap his arm around her waist as they entered the hotel and the woman winking at him over her shoulder.

By the time he got back to his apartment, he couldn’t hold back his tears anymore, fumbling several times with his keys until he finally managed to unlock his door, quickly entering before locking it behind him as he fell to the floor in a crumpled heap.

“Who do I need to kill?” The voice startled him, turning to see Craig in his kitchen, knife in hand.

“Craig?”

“The one and only. Now, let’s get you up and you can tell me all about it”

“Craig, what are you doing here? How did you-“

“I knew something was wrong when you didn’t answer your phone gushing about your new toyboy, did something happen?” 

“He uh… He found someone else” Craig’s confused look towards him didn’t help the situation.

“but I thought-“

“Me too, but I guess not” Try as he might he couldn’t stop his tears from flowing, grateful when Craig leaned forward and brought him into a hug, allowing him to hide his face from the world.

“What hotel is he staying in again?”

“Wh-“

“No reason” the way Craig rushed out his words showed that there was, in fact, a reason, however, he didn’t seem inclined to share. Instead offering him one final squeeze before pulling away and helping him off of the floor. “Now, come and help me finish dinner and then you can go wash up ‘kay?”

With a nod Craig lead him to the kitchen, setting him on the counter and digging through his freezer before handing him the Ice cream tub which he kept for occasions such as this.

Despite asking for help, Craig asked very little of him, instead filling him in on what was going on in his life and now and then asking for the odd utensil or herb.

“You better pay me back for all the food you’re using you know”

Craig laughed before ruffling his hair, just dodging the foot that was aimed at him “I’m preparing a beautiful dinner for you here, the least you can show is some appreciation bitch”

He chuckled at that, the first time he’d laughed all day and he couldn’t appreciate his best friend more at that moment. “Thank you, Craig, for everything. I mean it, I don-“

“Alright let's not get too sappy now, it’s only dinner. Can you pass me a baking tray please, and then you’re all good to go”

Sliding off of the counter he opened the door that his feet had been guarding, briefly marveling at his array of baking trays “Any particular one?”

“Blue one should be a good size”

He turned back to his cupboard, except there was no blue tray, only a variety of black and off-white trays. Picking one at random he put it up on the counter only to be met with a confused look from Craig.

“Is the blue one not there? I swear I saw it earlier”

He shook his head as he answered “Couldn’t see it”

Craig then ducked down next to him and in a flash plucked out one of the darker colored trays before standing back up, he noticed Craig looking at him out of the corner of his eye that made him feel uncomfortable until the younger man took pity on him. “You sure you’re alright Ry?”

“I’m fine, must not have seen it” Craig didn’t seem convinced but nevertheless he was let go to go have a shower which he was all too grateful for, washing away any thoughts from the day until a pleasant buzz settled in the back of his mind. He put on his comfiest clothes before meeting Craig back in his living area as the man was flicking aimlessly through his Tv, food ready for him on his table.

“So now you’re wracking up my electric bill as well as using all my food?”

“Shut up bitch” He chuckled as he flopped himself down onto Craig, outright laughing when he heard the man groan in pain before the younger man was shoving him to the other side of the couch.

The rest of the night was filled with crazy stories and stupid jokes in an effort to cheer him up and it wasn’t too long until he felt fatigue start to hit him. Craig setting him off to bed before heading out with the promise to return tomorrow, determined look in his eye.

He woke up to the buzzing of his phone in the other room, letting out a sigh of gratitude when it stopped before he left his warm cocoon of blankets, but it was short lived until it started up again.

With a groan he got up and out of bed, dragging his feet across the floor until he reached his phone which stopped buzzing as soon as he grabbed hold of it. Several notifications had shown that Brian had tried to call him numerous times this morning and even a couple last night.

A part of him wanted to ignore them, to block the number and simply go about his life as normal as he could, but a sicker part of himself, the part that was a glutton for punishment wanted to see what he had to say. It was with that thought that he called Brian, it barely ringing before the call was picked up.

“Hey Ryan, I just wanted to check in wit’ you, I hope you’re okay? You seemed a bit off yesterday” Try as he might he couldn’t stop the way his heartbeat picked up at the sound of the Irishman’s voice.

He was about to answer until he heard the lilt of a woman’s voice in the background, and immediately the warmth he was feeling dissipated and that sick feeling returned to his stomach.

“I’m actually not feeling too good, I may have to bow out today”

“Oh..uh…okay..um will I get to see you tomorrow?” He was somewhat endeared by the disappointment he could hear in Brians tone and as much as he wanted to say yes, he doesn’t know if he could stomach watching another day of him hanging off of some woman’s arm.

“I’ll see how I feel”

“Well, I hope I get to see you before I leave, get well soon Ry” He quickly said his goodbyes to Brian, only that there was a pause before the call ended almost as if Brian wanted to say something more before he too said his goodbyes and their call was ended.

Despite how he normally kept a routine to his day, today he made an exception, instead opting to lounge around his apartment in a pair of sweats, made even better when Craig came through his door, 5-liter ice cream tub in hand.

Happy as he was to mope around, it didn’t give as much comfort as it normally would, his mind kept drifting to Brian, what he was doing, where he might visit, and he couldn’t help but feel as though he gave up. As if at the smallest whiff of competition, he chickened out and could now potentially lose out on something special.

After the pity party he held for himself a new sense of determination ran through him, he was going to try and fight for Brian, and Craig was all too happy to help him out, picking him out an outfit whilst he showered. He was grateful for Craig’s’ help but couldn’t help but think the man should have a better sense than picking out clothes that were a bit on the small side.

His friends’ answer to that was simply a wink and a smack on the ass before sending him on his way, telling him where Brian would be. Before he could question as to why Craig knew where he was, his own front door was shut in his face, leaving him with little choice but to head out.

It wasn’t long before he made it to the park Craig had told him, texting him a general area in which to look for the Irishman and it wasn’t long before he caught sight of him, face wrapped up in a scarf whilst his hair was blowing wildly in the wind. In the faint traces of color that he had left in his vision, he could just make out the slightest tinge of red coloring Brians' cheeks and he was so endeared at the sight he couldn’t stop the smile that graced his face, one that increased tenfold when Brian noticed him, a broad grin plastering itself on the younger man’s face.

He couldn’t keep the smile off of his face as Brian left Cara in favor of jogging over to him.

“I’m glad you could make it Ry, s’good to see you”

“How did you-“

“Craig texted me” Brian only laughed at the confused look he gave at that statement “I dunno either man, it just kinda happened. C’mon lets get outta the cold, 'm freezing my nuts off out here”

He could do little else but laugh, easily falling in step beside him and it was almost as if yesterday had never happened, that was until they made it back to where Cara was stood, a disgruntled look on her face.

“Ain’t it great Ry could join us out for dinner Cara?” He couldn’t help but throw a somewhat smug smile her way and he noticed a flash of anger in her eyes before she smiled towards Brian.

“It’s great babe, but can we please get out of this cold”

Despite the pet name she used, he was somewhat reassured by the confused look Brian gave at her remark, showing that he’d been taken off guard by her use of it. Nevertheless, the younger man turned to him and asked him to lead the way.

It was easy to navigate his way through the streets and soon enough they were heading into a quaint little restaurant him and Craig often frequented. Of course, when they sat down Cara took her seat beside Brian but that did little to deter him, much happier to sit across from the taller man to memorize the crinkles around his eyes and the way his nose would scrunch up a little when he laughed.

This time he was an active participant in the conversations, eager to learn anything and everything he could about the Irishman who seemed just as willing to learn as much about him as well. He had to try and hide his smile as Brian moved away from the hand Cara tried to place on his thigh all the while they were playing footsie under the table.

Although dinner was done he was hoping Brian would want to go with him out in the town, just to walk under the streetlights and talk about anything.

“Do you maybe wanna come out with me for a bit Brian? I know a couple little weird café style shops which are still open if you want to grab a drink”

He could see Brian thinking about the offer, however before he could so much as formulate a response Cara interjected for him.

“It’s getting late and we’ve got an early start tomorrow, we should get back to the hotel right Bri?” He could see the conflict reflected in Brian and he knew the moment he lost, he swore he could feel what was almost a sucker punch straight to his chest knocking all the air out of him.

“Cara’s right, tomorrow though, promise” With those words, the pair got up and donned their coats, Brian saying his farewells whilst he ignored the smug look from Cara, and watched them walk out of the restaurant.

This time he noticed the color draining from his vision, not completely, but enough. The world around him turning to subtle greys and varying shades of white and black. His mind was numb as he made his way home, the implications of what had just happened taking up the forefront of his mind, and he’d done nothing to stop it, again.

He’d let Brian walk away, hadn’t even bothered chasing after him. The fact that color was leaving his sight told him that Brian had to be his soulmate, and yet he’d let him walk away with a woman who wanted nothing more than to get in his pants, the very thought of which made his skin crawl.

He’d hoped that Craig would be gone by the time he arrived back home but was instead greeted by his friend pacing around the living room. He could see the question in his friends’ eyes as soon as he noticed his arrival, all he could do was shake his head in answer, his friend quickly walking over and pulling him into another hug.

They stood there for what could’ve been days, unwilling to move and have to face the outside world. Eventually, though Craig lead him to his bed, although this time his friend got in with him, too tired to question it he let the younger man pull him close against him, glad for the comfort as he quickly fell asleep.

He was gently shaken awake to see Craig standing over him, a plate of food in hand. “C’mon, time to get your ass up. Brians’ gonna to be here in 20 minutes”

“Wha?” He barely heard what Craig had told him, too tired to even make a move, but the mention of Brian had caused him to sit up and make an attempt at rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, trying to ignore the smug look on his friend’s face.

“Your boy crush is gonna be here soon so unless you want him to see you in this, let's face it, dire state, I suggest you get your ass in gear”

He let out a long sigh as he sat up fully in bed, Craig putting the plate of toast in his lap before digging through his closet, haphazardly chucking stuff around until he turned around with a shout, clothes in hand.

The next thing he knew said clothes were chucked towards him before Craig headed towards him, clapping his hands in his face which was quick to startle him to pay attention.

“C’mon Ry, I’m gonna let him in whether you’re ready or not so it’s up to you” His eyes widened at that and he quickly moved the plate off of him to get out of the bed, cringing at the fact that he was still in his clothes from the night before. He heard a quiet hum of approval from Craig before his friend headed out of his room, his only words being ’15 minutes’.

He made short work of discarding his clothes, taking a bite here and there of the toast that had been made for him before grabbing a towel and a clean pair of underwear and heading for the shower. Aware of his time limit he spent little time washing, barely sparing a moment to enjoy and relax in the hot water before he was turning it off. He made quick work of drying himself and donning his underwear, rubbing his hair dry as he left the bathroom in an effort to find Craig and learn how long he had left, hoping that by some miracle he could get some coffee.

He wasn’t expecting to walk into his living room to see Craig playing house to Brian and Cara who were cuddled up together on his couch, although by the looks of things Brian was trying to edge himself further and further into the edge and away from Caras hold. 

He could feel his blush spreading not only over his face but across his chest as well, quickly slinging the towel around his front in an effort to cover up, but not before he saw Brian casting his eyes over his body.

He glared towards Craig who only offered him a half-apologetic shrug “So Brian got here a little earlier than planned”

“Well I’m a firm believer that it’s always better to arrive early, and it clearly paid off today” He saw Brian throw a wink his way which only caused him to turn redder if that were possible. He tried to motion that he was going to get changed before turning and all but sprinting back to his room.

He didn’t pay attention to what Craig had picked out for him, just threw them on, ran his hand through his hair a couple of times before re-joining his guests. The first clue that something was up was when he quickly saw Craig turn away from him and cover his mouth, face going red. Cara slitting her eyes at him was the next thing and Brians’ laugh filling up the living area were the last clue. He looked down at himself to see if there was something wrong and that’s when he saw the word ‘Daddy’ scrawled across his shirt and that’s when he knew Craig had set him up.

“That is brilliant, you hav’ to wear that out.” His face was bright red once again, and he was about to protest Brians’ remark when the Irishman spoke up again “I’m the guest so you hav’ to do what I say. Get your jacket, we’re goin’ out”

“I’m going to kill you for this Craig, you’d better not be here when I get back” He then moved to grab his coat, quickly zipping it to cover the shirt which was short lived before Brian made his way over and undid his coat zipper before readjusting his coat.

They stood like that for a moment, Brian holding onto the lapels of his coat as they stared at each other, he could feel the backs of the taller man’s fingers gently brushing against his neck as he breathed, and the touch sent a shiver down his spine. There was that faint hint of familiarity again and once again he got a flash of late nights, fingers tracing lightly over his skin and secrets being whispered into the back of his neck.

He came back to himself, taking in a big breath of air as he remembered how to breathe and by looking at the man in front of him he wasn’t the only one affected. He’s sure that the both of them could’ve stood like that for hours if left alone, however, it wasn’t much longer before he saw Cara sidle up next to Brian and that’s when they separated at last.

“Shall we head out guys?” He could tell how false her tone was without the accompanying grimace aimed towards him, and by the look on Craig’s face in the background, he could tell as well.

“Have fun out there daddy, don’t get into too much trouble” He shot a glare at a laughing Craig as he left his apartment, both cursing and thanking the fact that he was in his life.

Once again he found himself navigating his way through the streets of Chicago, however, this time Brian had taken it upon himself to be as close to him as possible, their hands brushing against each other now and again, setting butterflies off in his stomach.

When the streets would get too crowded and they had to weave their way through people he’d grab hold of Brians' hand, noticing the blush on the younger mans face, but when they were free from the crowds the Irishman clung onto his hand and he couldn’t hide the small smile that graced his face.

Every now and then Cara would ask them to stop at a shop so that she could look around, occasionally she would try and put on a small show for Brian in some of the skimpier outfits, but it couldn’t be more obvious how disinterested he was. It was annoying in the beginning but with every shop, they stopped in whilst Cara would make her way around the store, Brian would wrap an arm around him and whisper in his ear about some of the other patrons, always eliciting a small giggle from him.

He felt comfort in the touches and quickly grew addicted to them to the point he would purposefully direct them towards shops he thought Cara might like in an effort to spend some more time with Brian.

Any doubts he had about Brian potentially being his soulmate were cemented throughout the day. Although color in his vision never fully returned, with each laugh he elicited from Brian and every touch between them brought the faintest touches back to life. He could see the subtle hues of color throughout Brians’ hair and the pink that colored his cheeks.

It was at Brians’ insistence that they go ice skating, the little experience he had meant that he didn’t have to hold onto the rail around the rink as Brian and Cara did. It wasn’t too long before Brian started to venture out towards the middle, and he was by his side the whole time, always there to put an arm around him to catch him before he fell. 

Soon they were hand in hand and Brian was leading them around as fast as he dared, quite successfully until his skate hit a small ridge in the ice and he fell, the grip on his hand getting tighter leaving no choice but to fall with him, and to his dismay, on top of the Irishman.

“Shit, are you okay Brian?”

“Think so, fuck. ‘m sorry Ry”

“Nah it’s okay, you did well”

“Wit’ all respect, my arse disagrees wit’ you” 

He couldn’t help but laugh, in the back of his mind noting how Brians' arms had wrapped around him, as much as wanted to stay like this he couldn’t help but cringe at how cold Brian must be laying on the ice.

“C’mon, let's get up or your ass will be freezing as well” He made a move to get up but felt Brians' arms wrap tighter around him, quickly putting a stop to his efforts.

“Let’s stay here for a bit” Ignoring the people around them he lay down on top of Brians' chest, feeling warmer than he had all day despite their environment. 

“Ryan?” 

He looked up towards Brian, feeling his own heart melt at the soft look the Irishman had on his face. He felt one of Brians’ hands on his face, felt it move until the fingers were gently running through his hair, shivering when he felt nails scratching along his scalp until Brians hand once again came to rest on his face. “Thank you”

“For what?” He saw Brian smile and he gave a small one in return, closing his eyes when he felt Brians' thumb start to rub along his cheek.

“For makin’ this holiday special” He felt Brians’ thumb start to rub against his bottom lip, a touch he had felt many a time in his dreams. He opened his eyes just in time to see Brian avert his gaze from his lips while he licked his own.

He couldn’t stop his own gaze wandering down to the younger man’s lips, his desire to kiss him overrode any other thought he had, and it was with that he started to lean forward, his heart exalting when Brian too moved forward, their lips barely brushing against each other.

“BRIAN!, Little help here please?” The sound of Caras’ shriek next to them broke them apart, all he could do was rest his head against Brians' shoulder whilst the Irishman rubbed his sides a couple of times before patting him on the back to signify they should move.

He quickly got up, extending a hand to help Brian up before leaving to go help Cara who was flailing her arms in an effort to keep her balance in her venture out to them. 

“What are you playing at? He’s mine. Stay away” He winced as he felt her nails digging into his arms, leading her out of the rink before she all but shoved him away in an effort to get out so she could go hang off a now cold and wet Brian. Once they were back in their normal shoes they made the decision to go back to the hotel so that Brian could get a change of clothes and then they were back to exploring.

They didn’t discuss their almost kiss, only now and again casting looks at one another and quickly looking away before the other could notice. When the light finally started to dim they decided to go for food, making their way into the nearest restaurant and sat similarly to how they had the night before, with Cara by Brians side whilst he sat in front.

Their talk was somber, mostly about how both Brian and Cara were leaving back for Ireland in the morning, he didn’t want to think too hard on the fact that they were traveling together, or that there was a high chance he wouldn’t see Brian again, despite their promises to keep in contact.

Once again Brian left for the bathroom, leaving him alone with Cara who made no effort to hide her harsh glare towards him.

“Tonight’s gonna be the night, maybe I can even convince him to join the mile-high club with me tomorrow, but try not to think about that when you’re in bed alone tonight” Her words made him feel sick to his stomach, but he knew better than to buy into them, he’d seen first hand that Brian was put off by her, so he tried not to feel too threatened.

The sick grin on her face as Brian walked back to them made his skin crawl. “C’mon Bri, we should probably get back to the hotel, early mornin’ and all” He could see the hesitation on Brians' face, see him almost trying to find a way out of it which he was happy to oblige.

“We can go for a couple leaving drinks if you want? I know a nice little ice cream place we can go after?” The bright smile Brian shot his way showed how much appreciated his way out, although Cara had other ideas.

“Brian I really think we should go back to the hotel, I don’t want us missin’ the plane cause you’re hungover”

“I think he can make his own decisions Cara”

“Well we both know you’re only offering so you can get in his pants”

“That’s rich coming from you who just a minute ago was saying you were gonna get him to join the mile-high club”

“I wasn’t the one suckin’ his face on the ice rink”

“Enough” Brians’ voice, quiet though it was, was enough to silence both of them. “’m gonna go, I need time to think” Cara made a move to get up, but he was quick to stop her “Don’t bother” With that, he grabbed his coat and left, he could almost feel his heart leaving with him.

Without a second thought, he ran after him, quick to spot him in the streetlight and getting in front of him to stop.

“Brian please –“

“Don’t Ryan, I t’aught you might be different, but you’re just the same as her”

“And you believe what she says? You know me, Brian, do you honestly think I could be anything like that?” He grabbed hold of Brians coat, only causing the younger man to look away from him, tears in his eyes.

“I don’t know what to think”

“Please Brian” He then moved his hands to hold Brians face, forcing Brian to look him in the eyes as his thumbs made soothing circles on his cheeks “You know me, know everything about me. You kissed the bruises my bullies left all over me, let me cry over your shoulder when Buddy died, been there for me through every failure and success. Please…just feel”

He kept one hand on Brians' face, hopeful when he felt the younger man lean into it slightly whilst his other grabbed one of Brians’ hands, linking their fingers together before bringing it up to his lips and placing a small kiss on his fingers. He felt Brians’ hand squeeze his slightly before the taller man pulled away from him entirely and he couldn’t keep the hurt look off of his face.

“Look I don’t know what you think Ryan but you’re wrong”

“Brian” He leaned forward to try and grab hold of Brian again, anything to keep him from moving away, but the Irishman moved away, all the same, putting his hands up in front of him in defense.

“Goodbye Ryan”

He wanted to chase after him, to try to convince and persuade the Irishman that he was it, that they were soulmates, but he was stuck there. His feet may as well have been cemented into the pavement as he watched the Irishman walk away, looking on far after he’d gone.

It wasn’t much longer that he started to feel the chill of the evening air, heading back to the restaurant to obtain his coat, refusing to look towards Cara who was still sitting at the table with a face like sour milk.

He doesn’t remember much of the trip home; only knows he dropped his keys a few times before gaining enough control to finally open his front door. 

His heart broke a little when he realized Craig wasn’t there, all he saw was a note on his table, ‘Have fun daddy’, he huffed a small laugh at it before making his way towards his room, stopping in the doorway when he’d seen what Craig had done. 

Rose petals littered his floor and bed and the pack of condoms and lube on his bedside table told him exactly what Craig had intended to happen and as much as he loved his friend he couldn’t stand the sight of his room right now.

He dragged his feet towards the living room and fell onto his couch with a loud sigh whilst he waited for sleep to claim him. He doesn’t know whether he wants to dream with Brian or not, doesn’t know what would happen or what he’d try to say but he fully relaxed back into the couch when nothing, but darkness surrounded his consciousness.

He woke up to a pounding in his head and he had to cover his eyes in order to try and block out some of the sunlight filtering through the room and making the ache so much worse. He sat back on the couch as he cast a quick look to his phone, it was 10 am and he tried not to think too hard about how Brian would be halfway back to Ireland at this point, at how he never really got to say goodbye.

This time he did try to look towards the sunlight in an effort to blink away his tears however he soon relented and let them flow freely down his face. He took another glance at his phone, noticing a few messages he got from Craig which he didn’t have the heart to answer at the moment, instead wiping his face as he got up from the couch and dragged his feet towards the bathroom.

Almost mechanically he stripped himself of clothes and stood under the water, paying no mind at how cold it was and remaining motionless even when it heated up. Here he let loose the cries he hadn’t dared to last night, he’d had everything, but the words of a jealous woman and his own cowardice meant that it had slipped through his fingers. It was crazy, but despite having only known Brian for a handful of days he’d never felt most like himself like he was finally whole and could truly be himself, Brian’s departure having left a series of holes for his emotions to drain out of until he felt nothing.

When he was all cried out he turned off the water, not caring about the fact he didn’t have a towel as he made his way towards his bedroom, paying no mind to the cold chill of the apartment that hit him. Once there he half-heartedly wiped himself dry with the first thing he touched before donning his loosest pair of sweats before grabbing the condoms and lube still on his table and chucking them into the bottom of his sock drawer.

He briefly noted the fact he couldn’t make out even the faintest tinge of red on the rose petals, now slightly wilted, that littered his room. He wanted to be worried, to be scared that he was almost at the cutoff point, the point at which he would lose all sight of color and his bond with Brian would be utterly broken, except he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

It took him longer than he liked but eventually, his room was clear of all the paraphernalia that Craig had left, despite the cold air he opened up his window in an effort to get rid of the sickly-sweet smell that still lingered.

He was the furthest thing from hungry, but his body had different ideas and it was almost painful how his stomach grumbled for food. He cast a cursory glance around his fridge, but nothing caught his interest and his cupboards were similar. Eventually, he realized his efforts were futile and grabbed the ice cream that had been left in his freezer, after which moving back to the couch and putting some sort of reality show on his tv.

He doesn’t know how long he’d been sat there when he heard a knock on his door, only knew that his ice cream was long gone and that he’d watched three other shows since he’d turned his tv on. He prepared himself emotionally for the onslaught of questions that Craig was sure to ask him, only hoping said friend had taken the liberty of bringing more ice Cream as he tried to put on as bright a smile as he could manage when opening the door.

That smile was short lived however when he realized it was Brian who was stood there, looking worse for wear as he tried to show a façade of a smile.

“Hey Ry” He couldn’t formulate a response, too surprised at the man in front of him who should have been on a plane halfway across the world at this point. It was only when he saw worry and discomfort color Brians demeanor that he finally interjected.

“Brian” The Irishman looked down at him and they stood there as if staring into the soul of the other and it seemed that Brian was content with what he saw. “You look like shit” The younger man huffed a laugh and he couldn’t help his own smile in return. “What are you doing here Bri”

“I did a lot of thinkin’ last night, realized what a fuckin’ idiot I was for not believin’ in you…in us” He felt Brian grab a hold of hands, adding some semblance of warmth to the cold that he’d felt all night. “I know what an arse I’ve been, all I’m askin’ is for a second chance, a chance to do this properly” He couldn’t help the tears that brimmed his eyes, couldn’t stomach watching the feelings of love flickering in Brians’ eyes, he cast his eyes down to their entwined hands, hands that had held him his whole life. “I love you, it scares me to hell and back that I feel that way after such a short time, but what scared me the most was the fact that I may never see you again, that I may lose you for good”

This time he did look back up Brian, he could see the pain clear as day across his face and he wanted nothing more than to comfort the man in front of him, to brush away his tears and comb his fingers through his hair, to whisper sweet nothings in his ear until he finally heard that laugh he loved so much. There was that word, love. It scared him to think how devoted he was to the man in front of him, but it reassured him that said man felt the same, that they were both walking into this blind, but together.

He gave a reassuring squeeze to Brians’ hands which the man reciprocated, he could now feel the hope radiating off of the Irishman and it reassured his answer back to the younger man “I love you too Brian” He didn’t have time to say anything else as Brian let go of his hands and instead pulled him into a bone crushing hug which he was all too happy to reciprocate. He felt himself being lifted off of the ground and quickly wrapped his legs around Brians' waist, they stood there like that until his need for air was making itself known, leaning back slightly but never leaving Brians hold.

It was then that Brian leads them back into his apartment, kicking the door closed behind him before dropping him gently onto the couch so that he was now kneeling between his legs, and he could swear Brian looked almost like the cat that got the cream.

He weaved his hand through Brians' hair, enjoying the way the younger man leaned into his touch, his heart was practically singing when the touch of his nails got a small moan out of the Irishman. 

He felt the man kneading his thighs gently, but it didn’t last too long until he wanted more, to finally kiss the man in front of him. He moved his hand from Brians now mussed hair to the side of his face, pulling it slightly towards him to signify what he wanted, and it didn’t take long for Brian to get the message, goofy smile on his face as he leaned up to join their lips together.

He didn’t need to have his eyes open to see the burst of color light up his vision again and when they finally broke away for air he opened his eyes to see those soft chocolate brown eyes gazing back at him, unable to stop his own smile lighting up his face.

“That’s better, now I can see ya properly when I fuck you into the mattress” he managed to stop Brian leaning in for another kiss, ignoring the whine the Irishman let out in order to get some answers.

“Wait, what do you mean see me properly?” A soft look crossed over Brians' face as he reached a hand up to hold his face.

“I t’hink you know what I mean, didn’ realize it till last night but my world was all grey without you”

He let a groan whilst Brian only laughed “That’s so cliché”

“I know, but it’s true. I’m glad I get to see your face get all red again when I make a joke and you’re eyes glint with mischief when you know you’re bein’ a little shit.”

“Okay I’ll give you that, but whoever said you’d be the one fucking me into the mattress, I could just as easily make you my bitch” He should feel put out at Brians laugh in response to his statement, but he didn’t even believe it himself.

“Is that a bet?”

Without another word he leaned forward off of the couch, causing Brian to fall back onto the floor allowing him to sit on top of him. Brians’ hands came to rest on his hips whilst he leaned down to press a small kiss just under Brians’ ear “If you want it to be” He felt the shiver run through the man under him, and after that, it was every man for himself.

He doesn’t know how but eventually they found themselves in his bedroom, silently thanking Craig for the stuff he’d left for them, making a note that he’d have to do something special as a thank you for being there for him over the last few days.

That thought was cemented further by the fact that hours later when they both sore and tired and could do little else but curl up against each other, he saw a text from Craig. It went along of the lines that next time to warn him when he had company because he most definitely didn’t want to hear him, and Brian go at each other like animals in heat and that he would send them his first bill for therapy.

Brian only laughed at their predicament, commenting on the fact that they must have put on a good show, which earned him a slap on the chest. Sure, they had a long way to go but at least they now had each other, finally able to hold the other after having only dreamt for so many years, happy to face whatever trials that came their way, together at last.