#i know actor mark is controversial you don’t have to fucking complain about him in his goddamn tag actually :|
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man not to be petty but y’all know you actually don’t have to post about how much you hate a character in that character’s tag…..
#i know actor mark is controversial you don’t have to fucking complain about him in his goddamn tag actually :|#you fucking asshole lmao#marshy speaks#delete later
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Animal {Avengers Cast x Male Reader}
Requested by: @gameloversblog Wordcount: 1715 Summary: You play a Marvel antihero who has a pretty bad pottymouth. You finally get your own standalone film and invite your castmates over to watch. Warnings: Foul language.
To say that you brought a new life to the controversial character that you were playing was an understatement. Ever since you were young, you wanted to play a comic book superhero, or perhaps more aptly, an anti-hero because you were always a bit naughtier than the characters you grew up with. You swore an almost unprofessional amount, but your charm and skill was enough for you to keep the roles that you had, you requested to do a lot of your own stunts for the thrill of it, and, well, you were a bit of a flirt with everyone that you came across. So when there was a role opening up in the MCU as an anti-hero with a bit of a potty-mouth, you called your manager and told her that she would receive a big bonus if she managed to get you that audition. Needless to say, she got that bonus, and when you got the role, you bought her a brand new car, complete with a big bow on top, and a cut out of yourself for the backseat so she wouldn’t get lonely.
Unfortunately, these were meant to be family movies, and you didn’t get to swear as much as you had initially hoped. You did continue with your language when you messed up, which would never be in the bloopers unless they wanted to get an R rating on their own, and it became a bit of a joke with your castmates. In one scene that you filmed with Chris Evans and Scarlett Johanson, you actually shocked Evans so hard with your language that you missed a fighting cue and genuinely got struck in the head. He didn’t let up about that for a good month, but it was all light-hearted.
The movie was incredibly successful, as you had hoped that it would be. The critics loved it, and there was even praise on the way that you accurately portrayed your character - but there was one complaint. It wasn’t completely true to the character as you hadn’t been able to swear as much as they did. You brought in a couple of ‘hell’, ‘goddamn’ and ‘what the f-’ before you were cut off, but that was the extent that Marvel would let you do. It was literally signed into your contract that you could not improvise.
But now you were all smiles to the press, though your publicist was always on hand to give you a stern look, or clear your throat if your language started to go downhill. “It was fucking amazing!” was something that you couldn’t help but say when journalists asked about your experience. During one particularly memorable interview, you spewed out, “It was so fucking cool, like have you seen this shit? There’s like explosions all the goddamn time, and those are real, they don’t just put that shit in during editing, it’s right there, like holyyy mother of God, there was a time when I was scared I was going to be actually on fire, because of how close it was. Fucking burning up hot like Rhianna’s newest cd, you know?”
That interview showed on TV and had more bleeps than an episode of COPS. And you know that to be true because Robert Downey Jr called and told you that he had compared them as something fun to do. That interview also ended up on some videos of ‘Most cringy interviews’ which you didn’t completely understand. You had a blast, you were being yourself - it was the show hosts who looked baffled.
Out to celebrate the success of the movie making millions in the box office, you and co-star Jeremy Renner decided to hang out at his house with a couple of beers. Now that most of the press was over, and you didn’t have to go to any more premieres, it was so nice to be able to just hang out with friends. You were lounging in his living room, bottle in hand, telling a story about a scene that you did when you were in an action-comedy movie with some other famous actors. “So Mark Wahlberg has that expression on his face, you knew the one, where he looks all confused, like he needs to take a shit and doesn’t know how to get it out?” You laughed, and Jeremy nodded, knowing what you were talking about. “So I took the chance man, I had to take it, I just blew into my elbow and it made the biggest fucking fart sound, I’m talking about camera breaking loud man.”
Between laughs you heard your phone ringing. When you saw your manager’s name, you were expecting her to come down on you hard for swearing in the interviews. You had no idea that your life and your career were about to make a huge turn for the better. “Yo and hello,” You said, smiling at your cheesy line.
“I’m not calling to bitch at you, believe it or not,” Your manager sounded excited about something, which peaked your interest.
“I would never use the word bitch - I’d more say it’s complaining mixed with nagging,” You started. “All of which I know that I deserve. So what’s up, buttercup?”
“You managed to get a starring role, and I mean, big time starring role.”
“Oh, is someone trying to get a big Christmas bonus? What a coincidence that this is happening around the oh so busy clusterfuck of a holiday. You know - I don’t even remember auditioning for anything lately. What is it, what is it?”
Your manager said the name of the character that you had just played, who was originally just supposed to be a one-off character. “You were recieved really well, so they want to give you your own film. With at least a Mature rating so you can use those words you love so much.”
“I can finally say shit, dick, asshole, fuckfest?” You said, growing happy. You legitimately got up from Jeremy’s couch and started to do a happy dance.
“To a degree,” Your manager warned. “We’re still in talks about who is going to do the script, so you might be able to have some say in it...”
“Thank fuck for that. Do you know how hard it was to say darn with a straight face? Who says darn anymore? I wasn’t playing Cap!” Jeremy snickered behind you and you shot him a wide grin. “I’ll even write the script myself if they can’t find the perfect person. I practically am my character, you know.”
“Yes, I know. Everybody knows.” Your manager sighed. “I’ll put in a good word for you, you know that. Just hang tight. They���ll be sending you an announcement soon enough.”
-
Just over a year later, you were sitting in the living room of your spacious home with your best friends and castmates all around you. You managed to get a copy of the film before the premiere, and managed to talk everyone into coming over and watching it. And you, being a devious little thing, created a drinking game.
“Alright, so here’s the rules,” You said, standing in front of the TV before the film started. Your friends stopped talking amongst themselves and looked at you. You grinned like a maniac. Some of the biggest names in Hollywood were hanging out in your house right now. Suck on that critics who thought you’d never make it this far. You were one of them now. “I don’t have enough alcohol in the house to make you all take a shot at every swear-”
You were interrupted by a couple of laughs, so you gave a wink to Paul Rudd who had been the source of a couple of them. “-So how about you guys just have to take a swig of your beer? And a double if you’re referenced in the film.”
“I guess that sounds fair,” Jeremy said, settling into your second-favorite armchair.
“Why do you want us to get so drunk?” Scarlett Johansson asked, raising one of her perfect eyebrows in your direction. You shrugged before taking your seat, the best seat in the house, your favorite overstuffed chair.
“Instagam, snapchat, facebook, tumblr,” You listed off the various social media sites that you could put their drunken pictures up on.
“I think my publicist would actually kill you,” Elizabeth Olsen chimed in, cracking open her own beer.
“Great! Think of the publicity that would generate for the film!” You joked with that same grin. “Marvel Superstar murdered by publicist of Elizabeth Olsen! The tragic story of a drinking game gone wrong! More details inside if you want to play along...”
“Alright, alright, we’ll play along but no cameras, okay?” Chris Evans said, opening a beer of his own. You couldn’t stop smiling. You absolutely loved when you got your way.
“Alright, ladies and gentlemen, are you ready for the best Marvel film in the world? Now presenting - me!” You pressed play and the movie started.
Almost immediately, your friends had to start taking drinks because of how often there were curse words. Nothing too bad, but just the usuals. Fuck, shit, damn. Not the overly offensive ones.
Your favorite part was slowly coming up. You kept shooting glances over at Chris Evans, which the others noticed, but said nothing about. Chris was oblivious, paying more attention to the film rather than to the people around him.
“Darn,” A character in the movie said, albeit a young one.
“Language!” The camera whipped to your character, who was standing there in a heroic pose. Weapon in one hand, charming smile, looking good for the victim whom you just saved. “In this movie, we say fuck.”
The scene had the right effect. Everyone started to laugh, and Anthony Mackie was nudging Chris, encouraging him to take double the drinks.
“You know, I wasn’t in charge of writing that line, but I keep getting the flack from it.” He grudgingly picked up his beer and finished it off while the rest of the group cheered.
#Marvel#Marvel oneshot#oneshot#Scarlett Johansson#Chris Evans#Jeremy Renner#Mark Ruffalo#Anthony Mackie#Chris Hemsworth#Elizabeth Olsen#Robert Downey Jr#requested
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