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somanyratsinthewalls · 6 months

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Burning Hearts Chapter 14

Pairing: Law x Straw Hat Zoan Type (named) OC

Summary: You were teleported across the globe in an instant, away from your crew. Your body was badly broken and beaten, thrust into the harsh landscape of a Northern island. You are discovered by the Heart Pirates and brought back to health. Startled upon waking up in a foreign place with an unfamiliar crew, you are shocked with the news that you’ll be spending two years there. Trafalgar Law, the captain of the Heart Pirates has made a promise to train you, but will it become something more than a mentor relationship?

**MINORS DNI THANKS**

WC: 2700

Taglist: @zoros-fourth-sword @cottoncandyloverrrr @nothing-but-brass @airwolf92

Burning Hearts Chapter 14

— —

You were having a shower early in the morning before training when you hear the bathroom door swing open. You jolt and cover yourself with your hands involuntarily, even though the shower door glass was frosted.

“Knock much?!” You call out from behind the glass over the thundering of the shower over your head.

“I knew it was you from the smell of the shampoo, relax.” Ikkaku’s familiar voice floats over the shower door into your ears.

“Jeez you scared the shit out of me. Last thing I need is Jean Bart coming in and ogling my boobs.” You sigh in relief after realizing it was just your friend coming in to take care of her own morning routine.

“Hah, Law’d cut his head off. And I’m pretty sure anyone living here wouldn’t mind ogling your boobs. Maybe Bepo, I’m not sure what he’s into and frankly I’d rather not know.” Ikkaku shouts at you as she uses the toilet with the door to the private restroom open to the rest of the bathroom.

“You could close that, you know- AH! BITCH!” You holler as you hear her flush the toilet and the cascading water becomes scalding hot on your head. “Oh SORRY!” Ikkaku laughs as you cower in the corner of the shower stall and wait for the temperature of the water to go back to normal.

“Ugh. Rat.” You grumble and rinse the conditioner out of your hair once the water had cooled down. Once satisfied you had thoroughly cleaned your hair, you stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel to wrap around your torso. You throw another towel in your hair to tie it up to dry. You walk over to the sink next to where Ikkaku was brushing her teeth.

“Does everything have to be a nightmare in this shithole?” You chide her from the sink adjacent to hers, putting toothpaste on your own tooth brush.

“Yes. Can’t believe you haven’t figured that- WOAH!” Ikkaku exclaims and gasps as she looks over at you.

“What? What is it? A bug?” You look down at your chest and start patting your towel as your toothbrush hangs out of your mouth.

“What the fuck is THAT?!” Ikkaku points at you accusatorially.

“WHAT IS WHAT? AM I BLEEDING?” You panic and spin around and look down your legs at anything that might be ailing you without your knowledge.

“Your fucking NECK, Daisy!” Ikkaku cries out at you.

You look in the mirror.

A large red-purple splotchy bruise the exact size of someone’s mouth was prominent on your neck.

“Fuck…” You touch it and scowl in the mirror.

“No WAY!!! You guys finally-“ Ikkaku claps her hands together and jumps up and down.

“NO WE DID NOT!” You spit out the toothpaste in the sink and rinse your mouth out. You sigh and inspect the mark further. “We’ve never done anything like that, last night he was just out of it… after all those brownies he wasn’t really himself…”

“That makes sense.” Ikkaku begins to apply moisturizer on her face in the mirror next to you.

“Wait… why does that make sense?” You ask as you braid your hair.

“Well I figured it would take awhile seeing as he’s a you-know-what.” Ikkaku states as she pulls her hair back in her signature yellow headband.

You turn towards your friend in confusion.

“No I-don’t-know-what? What is he? Gay?” You ask.

Ikkaku rolls her eyes.

“Seriously, D? A virgin. He’s a virgin. Just look at the guy, you haven’t figured that out yet?” Ikkaku asks you with a raised eyebrow.

You look from her back to yourself in the mirror. You run your fingers over the hickey on your neck. It made sense. He was such a terrible kisser before you had started giving him the chance to practice. He was always so hesitant to even look in your eyes when he wasn’t on some sort of mind altering substance. Gods you almost felt bad, hoping that you hadn’t made him feel uncomfortable in your last few private moments… wait.. no, he had initiated both of them…

“Oh…” You say quietly, more to yourself than your friend.

“Duh?” Ikkaku continues. “Just look at the guy. He wouldn’t know what to do with a pussy if it was served to him on a silver platter. None of these losers would. They like comic books and painting tiny action figures, I doubt any of them have seen two boobs at the same time on purpose.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“I’d rather have a guy too nervous to touch me than someone who’s too pushy.” You say as you look down into the sink.

“You’re in luck then. Better get out there and train before he thinks you’ve bailed.” Ikkaku smiles and you continue to get ready for the day.

— —

After another intense training session, you find yourself trailing behind Law through the forest on your way back to the base.

“Ooof!” You trip over a tree root and faceplant into the ground.

“It’s the same path every day, and you’re still this clumsy?” Law states as you pick yourself up and continue your journey.

“No need to be so critical! I’m much lighter in the air nowadays than I am on my feet!” You spread your wings and do a quick flip over the warlord’s head so that you were now in front of him on the path.

“Yeah, since you’ve changed your mind about your powers. You’re still a klutz.” Law scoffs at you with a smirk.

“Can I ask you something?” You flap your wings and glide seamlessly backwards along the path above the ground in front of him as he walks.

“Sure.” Law stares at the dirt as he continues trudging along.

“Are you a virgin, Law?” You ask while continuing your wingbeats backwards towards the base.

Law stops dead.

“I.. why are you asking me that?!” Law raises his voice at you, not meeting your gaze.

“Because…” You land on the ground in front of him. “We’re involved… in some capacity… I don’t think you can deny that after last night…” You flip your long, flowered, braided hair over your shoulder exposing his own bite mark to him. He looks up at you briefly.

“I-I did that? I’m sorry… I can give you some ice for the bruising I- ” Law says after composing himself, but quickly looks back down at the dirt.

“Don’t avoid the question. It’s okay if you are. I’m not exactly well versed in the subject either…” You chuckle and kick a rock around on the ground.

“I am.”

There was a silence.

You broke it.

“Thank you for telling me. If it makes you feel better, I’ve never really done anything… not on my terms at least…” Your smile fades.

“W-why would that make me feel better?! Daisy I.. I’m scared to hurt you.. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable… not after everything-“ Law lifts his head and steps towards you.

“I don’t want to talk about that, not right now at least. I’m just glad we could be honest with each other.” You say awkwardly and meet his eyes, sparkling with both nerves and affection.

“Mhm.” Law nods and gestures for you to keep walking.

The two of you walk side by side down the forest path in silence for several minutes before Law speaks.

“I was thinking we could take the Tang into town this weekend. I want to stop at that bookstore again and grab a few more medical supplies since you keep tripping over trees and hurting yourself.”

“As I recall, you were the last one to need medical attention aboard this crew.” You smirk. “So should we tell Bepo and them that they’ll need to get ready for a trip?”

“No, just you and I will go. That way we can continue training. I think you’re on the edge of a breakthrough with your powers… They can handle themselves on their own here. You’ll have to talk to Bepo about the Tang’s controls, though. I don’t want to run into trouble out there with a rookie who’s only taken the sub out once.” Law continues trudging through the woods.

“I can do that.” You smile. “Last one to the base is a huge fucking nerd!” You spread your wings again and alight above the tree line. You soar over the tops of green firs and pines and hone in on the cold metal structure that was the Heart Pirates safe house that you’ve called home for months now. You land on the ground in front of the steel door and chuckle, out of breath, sure that you’ve beaten your adversary in the race.

You raise your gaze to see Law casually standing with his sword slung over his shoulder, leaning against the reinforced door casually.

“I don’t know why you thought you’d win that one, nerd.” Law smirks and heads into the base in front of you.

— —

The next day, you spent your afternoon aboard the docked submarine with Bepo in the control room listening to him lecture about the knobs, buttons, and screens. It was painfully boring.

“If you see here, this red lever controls the speed of the vessel. There are two jet thrusters on the back of the ship and if you push the lever forward to the top it increases- Miss Daisy are you even looking?” Bepo turns around and looks at you from his position at the control panel aboard the Polar Tang.

You were lounging with your legs up in the captain’s chair and spinning it around in a circle with a lit joint in your hand.

“Yeah man, up fast, down slow. Think I got it- Hey!” You protest as Bepo puts out a leg to stop your chair from spinning and forcing you to look up at him.

“This is serious! Anything could happen out there and you need to be prepared! And the captain would kill you if he knew you were smoking in here!” Bepo scowls at you.

“Doesn’t he smoke cigarettes in here?” You cock your head and ask.

“Well yes but that’s different! It’s-“ Bepo stumbles over his reasoning.

“Aaaah I see, rules for thee, not for me.” You sigh and take another hit off your joint. “Relax, big guy. I may look like a dumb bimbo, but I’m a lot smarter than you think. I can handle this.”

Bepo sighs.

“I’ll only be a call away on the transponder snail if you guys get eaten by a sea king or something and I can take the smaller sub out to get you.”

“Pretty sure the snails don’t get service inside of internal organs.”

“You don’t know that!”

— —

“Fuck!”

You grab more cotton balls off you bedside table and aggressively pack them into your ears. You sigh and flop back down into bed on your stomach and put the pillow over your head. You never thought having Ikkaku as a next door neighbor would be an issue, but it seems her own training sessions with a certain crew member were going very well.

“Ugh gross!” You groan as you try to drown out your friend’s cries of ecstasy from beyond your bedroom wall. Were they getting even louder? You were so tired and desperate for sleep that you didn’t even have half a mind to be jealous of the hot action Ikkaku was getting. You look at the clock. 2:47 AM.

“Gods just finish already!” You gripe as you try to bury your head further into your mattress. It was no use, you could still hear the high pitched whines and cries clear as day through the wall. You had enough, you needed to sleep. You decide there’s only one option left, a risky one, but you were exhausted. You grab your pillow and your stuffed reindeer and make your way out of your room and down the hall.

You arrive at the captain’s quarters and knock on the door. You hear a muffled “Yeah?” From the other side and push your way in, pillow and stuffie in hand.

“Hi…” You call out tentatively.

“Daisy? It’s so late. What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Law quickly steps from his adjacent bedroom and into his office to greet you, pulling a t shirt over his head.

“Ugh. Can’t sleep. The lovebirds’ song is a bit too loud this evening. Can I stay here? I’ll crash on the couch.” You gesture towards the loveseat and pick the cotton balls out of your ear canals.

“No you won’t. Take my bed, come on.” Law gestures you towards his room. “Also wait- what song? Someone has music on?” He asks.

“Ugh I wish it was just music.” You groan. “I think Ikkaku is training Peng too well because she was really getting it tonight. Completely insane, the things I heard.” You shudder and walk past Law’s confused figure and slumped through the archway that led to his bedroom.

“I.. I’m not sure what you mean? Is anyone hurt?” Law knits his eyebrows in confusion.

“Gods she’d kill me if she knew I told you, but long story short she and Peng have been having… dates? Well basically he goes down on her and then sleeps over. She’s usually not this loud but JEEZ… and you CAN’T say anything!” You sit down on the side of Law’s bed and settle your pillow at the head.

“He goes- what?” Law was still in the dark. You were going to have to spell it out for him… wow he really was a total virgin.

You sigh.

“Oral sex, Law. ‘Going down’ on someone, that’s what that is. You know? When somebody puts another person’s genitals in their mouth? Like for pleasure-“

“Okay okay that’s enough!” Law shuts his eyes tightly and waves his hands at you. He shakes his head, as if trying to erase a mental image. “So, how long has that been going on?” He asks you.

“Longer than you’d think. I’m happy for them but I’d be even happier if I didn’t have to be front row in the audience. Thanks for letting me stay, I’m beat.” You slip your legs under the thing quilt and lay down, clutching your stuffed deer to your chest. “Are you coming to bed?” You ask, seeing Law still standing in the doorway.

“Yeah, I’ll hit it on the couch.”

“Oh come on. It’s your bed. I’m not forcing you out. Just come lay down and get some rest.” You scoot over and make room next to you.

“No… I shouldn’t…” Law’s eyes were locked on the floor.

“Seriously? Last time I was here you came in your pants, I think you can handle sleeping in the same bed.”

“W-why would you say-“ Law stutters.

“I’m just teasing you!” You chuckle and throw the covers open, further beckoning him in. “What’s the point of being stuck here if I can’t mess with you? Now get in here.” You laugh and pat the mattress next to you.

Law sighs and throws his shirt off over his head, leaving it on his bedroom floor as he approaches the bed. Law silently slinks into his own bed next to you and lays down. You smile and turn your back to him and rest your head on the pillow.

“Now, no funny business, Miss Rito.” Law whispers and reaches up a cold hand to pinch at your hip. You could hear the stupid smirk in his voice.

“I can’t make any promises, Mr Trafalgar.” You laugh and push your hips backwards into his gently as he wraps his arm fully around you from the back.

Law kisses the back of your head.

“Get some sleep.”

You gladly oblige and drift off into a comfortable slumber with Law’s lithe body wrapped around you.

—

*Author's Note: HI EVERYONE! Sorry this took forever! I have some ideas bopping around for the next chapter so it should be out soon. Yes, Miss D will reunite with her crew, but we've still got more time with Sir Law for now! Once again if you guys have any feedback or ideas for upcoming chapters PLEASE TELL ME! I love yall :)*

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heroicleader2763 · 2 months

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OOC:

CURRENT TIMELINE OF EVENTS — A [INTERACTIVE?] RÉSUMÉ OF CRUCIAL MOMENTS AND MISHAPPENINGS.

first things first, i just need to list some people out that are important to the goofy roleplay happening in this blog. they are the accounts i interact with the most, therefore influencing on a bunch of stuff that happens + will happen. those are:

@leafyztar as LEAFY or sometimes EVIE aka EVIL LEAFY but not exactly: pin's sopping wet mentally ill girlfriend, both in and out of this roleplay [evie is... complicated. by the way they are a system] @mini-leafster as LEAFY JR. & THE GANG: a buncha kids @thescarlet-gardener as SCARLET: the scarleetttt @blue-funny-plant as BLUE FUNNY PLANT aka FBP: he's a plant. and he's blue. yes i know this is purple @obnoxious-show-copper as "THE OTHER COINY" aka COINY²: oh my god there's multiple @lollipop-the-businesswoman as LOLLIPOP: they [pin & lollipop] have yet to interact in the story but she's still quite important @priceless-taggy as TAGGY: a silly object that has never experienced the horrors

i do chat with other blogs at times, but these are the main ones! go check them all out. anyways, timeline time. there's various juicy links to older posts for you to check out! lesser important events are in smaller text, and extra important parts have a ★ star! by the way, i think this is a good visualization of pin's current mental states.

MAY ; humble beginnings: – BLOG IS CREATED!: self-explanatory. nothing much happens here, we get to find out about pin's neurodivergent interests and coiny's chronic dirt-eating issues i mean, quirky relation-ship with pin.

★ – PIN STARTS TALKING WITH LEAFY: they shatter time and space itself just to talk with each other. this is the start of their "pathetic mutual pining"

– PIN GETS HYPERFIXATED ON RHYTHM HEAVEN: this is not exactly a crucial event, i just find it funny. this is brought often

– PIN GETS A BOOTLEG LEAFY PLUSH: it's a comfort item. you'll see it quite often...

– PIN ADOPTS A MONITOR LIZARD: an asian water monitor, to be exact! she is big. she is then named "snapdragon"

– "Im Always experiencing Internal Villain arcs": this was a foreshadow.

EARLY JUNE ; it is pride month, my dudes: – COINY IS A SHORT DUDE: no further explanation needed

– LEAFY IS A BISEXUAL MESS: again, no further explanation needed

– "Fear Garden is about gardening... During Halloween!": uh-oh.

★ – "Happy Pride month girl kisser": pin's lesbian awakening. i mean, she already knew she was a womankisser, buuut...

– GOD THESE OBJECTS SURE ARE REAAALLY GAY: makes sense, it's pride month!

– PIN IS A MEAN BITCH TOWARDS HER FELLOW OBJECTS: this was some hilarious friendly fire

– THESE OBJECTS ARE REALLY GAY, THE SEQUEL: pin is aro-spec, and goes to hell and back for "dating advice".

– PIN TRIES FLIRTING [DUDE JUST CONFESS ALREADY]: it goes... okay? she does make leafy faint, though.

– [I CANNOT REMEMBER WHEN EXACTLY, BUT THIS AROUND THE FIRST TIME THAT] PIN STARTS INTERACTING WITH LEAFY JR: this is very crucial!

– SHE FINDS OUT ABOUT COINY² AND IMMEDIATELY STARTS BULLYING HIM: exactly what's on the tin. pin is mean

– LEAFY PAINTS PIN'S CLAWS GREEN: cute! this is permanent

★ – [ALSO AROUND THIS TIME LEAFY JR IS DISOWNED BY LEAFY, GO READ MORE OF THAT ON @mini-leafster I DUNNO]: pin becomes junior's unofficial mom from now on!

– SOME FUCKASS [/affectionate] ANON M!A'S PIN TO BE VISUALLY IDENTICAL TO FIREY: this was bad. this was also pin's first introduction to evie!

[ PART 1 ; you are here! :-) ] - [PART 2] - [PART 3] - [PART 4] - [PART 5]

#ooc #pinned #timeline

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possibilistfanfiction · 2 years

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This seems really indulgent and I know (and love!) footy au so no pressure at all but -- more butch Bea? Would make my day anytime, whatever you might have in mind! :) Thank you for your words

[i love indulgence, here's what was supposed to be one scene & ended up being 8.4k words about how remarkable it is to be butch :) for @unicyclehippo , also on ao3]

giving your body to ava is easy; giving your body to yourself is the hard part.

you’re supposed to protect her, you’re told: keeping her safe is the only thing that matters. you understand, as you tug a scratchy blanket up over her shoulders on a train to a little town nestled in the alps, that you are in charge of keeping ava safe because she’s the halo-bearer, because she’s the key to slaying demons and defeating adriel and heaven and hell and the earth between. you’re not supposed to keep her safe because she’s ava, but her breaths are warm against your neck, tucked in safely, her chin on your shoulder — you will keep her safe. it’s a vow you take with the gravitas you have your others, perhaps even more certain, sure, clear: you will keep ava safe.

you’ve felt the same impulse — not as strong, and not as sharp, but the same — toward a few people you’ve known. mackenzie, in third grade, after keith, a fourth grader, called her a bitch at recess, and it was easy, so easy, to let the anger well up in you and to, just like you’d been trained in aikido since you were five, punch him in the throat. you’d had to go to the principal’s office after a small riot had erupted, and you’d sat, sullen, while your principal told your mother and father what had happened. they asked you to apologize, and the words — rotten and wrong — got stuck in your throat. you were suspended for a week and your parents made you go to bed without dinner the entire time; your stomach ached to the point of physical pain and it was hard to think, but when you went back to school, mackenzie had smiled big and bright and had kissed your cheek and brought extra cookies to share at lunch, and it was so worth it.

you’d felt the same impulse in eighth grade, with marin, your best friend. she would come over after archery, and she said she didn’t mind that you were sweaty, even though you knew, objectively, it was gross. marin was always wearing a ripped denim jacket you were, silently, in love with, and her parents let her put purple streaks in her dark hair, and you couldn’t stop thinking about her mouth, even during algebra II, your favorite class. you learned to walk, on impulse, between her and the road whenever you were on the sidewalk; you held hands and felt proud: you were, in ways you had no idea how to name, hers. she pressed you up against the packages of mein and liangpi and cans of kidney beans in your pantry and kissed you, quietly and softly, one day. your first kiss, in the dark in the closet, and you had frozen stock still because — homosexuals are going to hell; that’s not love, that’s a sin, every sunday, and wednesdays during lent and vespers too, all the rosaries in the world won’t take away the way marin sighing into your mouth feels so perfect you want to die in it — it’s in your core, this want. so, of course, you kiss her back. you don’t know what you’re doing, have only watched movies where boys kiss girls or maybe you’d mostly skipped those parts; maybe in bend it like beckham you had paid attention to keira knightly’s short hair and her stomach and jesminder’s smile and the curve of her nose and found it more compelling than the men’s matches your dad takes you and your brother to see. your hands are shaking but you fist them in marin’s hair, coarse and curly and perfect, and you think you might explode when she rests her palm on your hip. it feels a little like jumping off a cliff.

and even your father walking in on you hadn’t stopped you from the want; your mother’s you’re disgusting; i’d rather you take your own life than be gay and the priest at their church telling you, quite clearly, that being a lesbian would result in eternal damnation. even that hadn’t been enough to stop the awful and bright desire to help krishna fix her shelf in her dorm in switzerland when you were sixteen, to accept her thanks in the form of laughter and sweet halwa. you are wrong, you know so, because your parents had seen you kissing a girl and you hadn’t wanted to repent; you had wanted to protect marin from speeding cars and hold her hand in the rain and fall asleep curled up next to her with a movie playing in the background, one where girls kiss and they don’t die afterward. it’s a suicide mission, maybe, the way krishna’s skirt rides up to her underwear while she sits on her bed and watches you level the shelf, her brown skin and the stretch marks you think are beautiful, that you think about kissing, all the time. you learn fencing and archery and you get multiple blackbelts in kendo; one of your sensei has a bright smile and short hair and the most precise hands. she’s beautiful in a way you don’t understand, not really, not yet: her hair is cropped short, and her jaw is square and compelling, and she speaks softly and kindly. when she corrects one of your stances you feel a race of electricity down your spine, the opposite of the stress you feel as your hips get bigger, as you go through the embarrassing ordeal of learning how to put a tampon in, as you have to go up a size with your sports bra. she teaches you to use a bo, and there are many things you can’t name: the power; the ache — you see a reflection that feels so much like a home to you that you are not supposed to want that you don’t know how to face it.

most of the girls in your school had gone to university; you had opened your letters from oxford; from tsinghua; from harvard; from the eth, with steady, sure hands, reading the acceptances calmly. it wasn’t hard, not this part: you braid your hair carefully each day and feel a little like throwing up every time you had to put your skirt on, the weekends and your aikido and judo classes and the standard, starchy, thick gi the most profound reprieve — you studied and you took your exams and it was easy, to become an asset, to become a weapon. you’re brilliant, all of the adults in your life tell you so. you stare at your ceiling and on the bad nights you can’t feel your hands. on the bad nights you want to touch yourself so badly you could scream, and you let your fingers wander down your stomach into the curls that have grown dark between your legs, and you think of stupid keira knightly’s hipbones and you feel the wetness there before you pull your hand away, every time. it’s wrong, to want like you do: to think of what a tweed jacket like your professors wear would look like, how your shoulders would be square and strong; every now and then, you stare at the scissors in your bathroom, for trims in the months between semester breaks when you can leave the grounds, and wonder what it would be like to just cut your hair short, how you might get in trouble but it also might be a relief. there is so much grace you can’t give to yourself yet.

of course, you’re not brave enough for any of it. you are brave, enough, however, to want to die: the ocs is bloody and brutal and a home unlike one you’ve ever known. it’s easier to push all of the sin down and fashion yourself useful, so useful if anyone, anyone at all, ever found out what you think about in the middle of the night, they would still have to value you: you have your arrows and your knives and your sisters and the most beautiful bo you had ever seen. you have your habit and your combat boots; you eat three exacting meals a day and you want and you want and you fucking want — but you tell ava about it, as clearly as you can, and she just loves you. you’re rude, for a second, but she sits patiently and doesn’t judge you for your tears or the curling desire in your chest, and then, what feels like a literal miracle, she tells you that you’re beautiful and you want to be called that, you want to be called handsome, you want her to laugh at your jokes and stare too long at your freckles. you want to love her, and you do: you want ava, who is so pretty and kind, despite it all, to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you will be there for her. so you bandage the cut along your cheekbone in the train car and don’t think of the acceptance letters you had calmly thrown in your trashcan, or the thick watch the woman in front of you was wearing, her sleeves rolled up her forearms, or the way ava is warm and soft and you will gone on as many suicide missions as it took to protect her. to protect her, not the halo, not the church: ava.

she stirs eventually and smiles up at you, groggy and grateful and trusting, like she knows you won’t let anything bad happen to her; it’s easy to let her touch you, to let her lean on you, to let her use you for anything she needs. your heart swells as she burrows deeper into your side.

the first time you really allow yourself to think of it, this monstrous, lovely ache inside of you, is when lena, a shopkeeper in switzerland with a neat fade, a perfect quiff combed neatly on top, streaked with grey, and an impeccable linen suit, hands you a pair of pants. ava is in the dressing room trying on a pile of tiny clothes — which you do your absolute best not to think about — and the soft material and exact stitching: neat pleats that will accommodate the small flare of your hips; a straight leg that will sit at your ankle. lena smiles and offers you a few button downs, oversized and collarless, tailored perfectly, and she doesn’t know you’re a nun but you take them all and tell yourself that they’re suitable for you because they’re modest, because they won’t draw attention — not the way ava’s brightly patterned button down she ties into a crop top will, not the way ava will, just inherently, with her perfect smile and elegant brow. you’re drawn to earth tones, to subtle patterns, to thick cotton that drapes without sitting against your chest too snugly. ava loves your clothes, apparently, which is mostly expected because ava loves everything and, you’re certain of it, ava loves you. not as a sister warrior, not as a nun, but as beatrice, which is perhaps the scariest thing of them all.

one day, while ava is working and you have unadulterated and unmonitored time to yourself, you let your feet carry you to lena’s shop. ava has been reading you poems at night, and she’s been steadily collecting a few vinyl to play on the phonograph, even though it’s prone to skipping. it’s a life, gentle and slow, even with your training and the looming threat of an apocalypse of literally biblical proportions, and you have no idea how to reconcile who you have always tried to be with who you are, and what you want.

the first night you had been in switzerland, in your tiny apartment with dust and lumpy furniture and ava’s desperately excited energy, you had sat on the couch quietly as she puttered around and then finally settled in bed. you had lied back on the couch, and she had huffed and then sat up: ‘bea, what are you doing?’ she had asked.

you hadn’t been able to find the words that you really meant so instead you’d told her, ‘i’m keeping watch,’ and you hadn’t had to look away from the water stain on the ceiling to know she was rolling her eyes. you had argued, a little, but the couch was genuinely so uncomfortable and you hadn’t slept in so long, you’d gotten up and shuffled to the unoccupied side of the bed. ‘are you sure this is okay?’ you’d asked, and she’d squinted.

‘why wouldn’t it be?’

you had frowned and bitten your bottom lip and stumbled through, ‘because i — i’ve told you, i —‘

ava had rolled her eyes. ‘i don’t care what your sexuality is, beatrice. what i do care about is you sleeping; you’re dead on your feet.’ she had paused and waited for you to situate yourself under the covers, stiffly on your back, and she had huffed a breath and then — slowly, and you were not the only one who understood the overstep of nonconsensual touch, the pain and fury — settled her head just under your chin, resting on your chest. ‘i trust you to keep me safe.’

looking back, maybe that was it, maybe that was the moment you understood: one day, you want to wear a suit to a nice dinner; you want loose, perfectly tailored pants and expensive, thick cotton and for women and femme people — someone like ava; ava herself, you allow yourself — to think that you are attractive, that you’re sexy, that you would do anything to make sure they’re cared for. that you delight in it.

lena is a miracle herself, you think: she understands who you are, or, at least, who you want to be, buried underneath the rubble of a thousand explosions you’d set off along your spine and within your ribcage. she hands you a beautiful suit, and she lets you try it on; some days, you have tea with her wife and practice your arabic and you blush at aleyna’s gravely voice and the way she talks about her favorite art. you are overcome, when you see yourself in the mirror; your soul, eternal longevity be damned, leaps: there you are. you do up an elegant pair of cufflinks and look at a reflection you have always wanted to know.

there you are.

ava’s freedom is enviable: she wears clothes she loves and excitedly lets you cut her hair to her chin, because she wants to and because she thinks it’s fun and it’ll look so cute, bea, and she smiles afterward, laughs at herself, delighted, in the mirror. you let her think she’s convinced you of something really exciting and serious when you agree to get highlights; mostly, it makes her happy, and it’s not exactly what you want, but it’s something. ava flirts with boys, and ava flirts with girls, and she leans forward against the bar and winks at you when you drag your eyes away from her chest. some days, you think you might strike up the nerve to ask her, late at night, after you’d heard her touching herself in the shower, stifling little moans: what does it feel like to want with abandon? what is it like?

but you don’t: you dance with her, your head hazy, and you leave a letter — too sentimental, too telling, but a breath — for lena and her wife before you flee. you fight your way through all of madrid and an awful, nightmare of a vision of her with the fog, and then you hold her in your arms, once, after she dies again, after she falls and her body explodes inside its skin — literally. you pray and pray and pray — to her, not a single thought spared for god, and you would give up everything in your life: your vows, your worth, everything, for her to be alive. and she is, eventually, and you help her out of your clothes and it’s a kind of honor in this too: she trusts you not to hurt her, never to hurt her. she trusts you, in the shower, while you’re in an undershirt and boxers and you clean the blood from her ears, to be gentle to her, and to keep her safe.

you have your habit and your robes and your weapons; with each passing day, you become more and more terrified that ava is going to die. you love her; you want, in some way, to spend your life with her, whatever that might mean. but where does it all lead for you if she does die? you clutch your rosary in your hand and feel a very particular horror: who are you, if not for ava’s love? where, now, would all that want go?

ava kisses you. it’s your second kiss; you’re the second person she’s kissed, you know as much, but it doesn’t matter: you’ve held her before. you know this, as surely as you know anything. she has been many people, in some way or another, and maybe you have to. there’s so much of your life that has never been yours but the decision to follow her lips as she draws back and bring your hand to her jaw rests in your hands, as steady as they are when you have your bo, and far gentler.

ava kisses you, as she decides to die. you hold her as her body — this beautiful, small, miracle of a body that you love, that you love — fails her, with a particular finality as it glows blue and crumples. you know, when you send her through the portal, that you are going to have to leave this life you have forced down your throat and driven into the marrow of your bones like rods in the center. i love you, you tell her. you hope she knows.

no one cares, you realize, if you try on a pair of men’s jeans at a thrift store in berlin. in fact, robbie compliments them casually; you’re not sure if they know how much it means, but they have a lump of skirts in their arms and a neatly trimmed beard and glamorous blue eyeliner today, so you think they probably do. you pull the pants on in the dressing room: they’re light washed, and loose; they fall just at the bottom of your ankles, and you cuff them twice and pull on the sturdy blundstones you’ve worn all over the world at this point. you can see yourself in them in the winter, a big, elegant peacoat and a scarf pulled around your neck, and soft and warm; you can see yourself in them in the summer, rolled up with sandals and an oversized t-shirt. it’s different, than the time you’d tried on a suit — more casual, more variable — but the recognition is there all the same.

‘did you like them?’ robbie asks, meeting you at the front with a few skirts and a crop top that pangs in your chest because robbie will look great in it; because ava would love it.

‘i loved them,’ you say, and a knot releases somewhere in your chest.

you end up in los angeles — one tattoo on the top of your wrist and a surfing lesson booked — mostly because it’s the city of angels, which feels a little inevitable, and also mostly because it’s so far from anything you’ve ever known. you keep to yourself at first, mostly, but then you make casual conversation with a few of the surfers out near your airbnb every morning, and they love your accent and give you pointers on how to pop up on your increasingly smaller board and invite you to an arooj aftab show at the broad. it aches, to live this life without ava, even though it’s what she wanted for you, what she asked of you.

you drive along the hellish freeway to make it on time, and you let your friends buy you a drink at the outdoor bar, a little paper wristband signaling you’re over 21 after you’d shown your ID at the entrance; you had agonized over what to wear and settled on your favorite pair of pants, one that you’ve had since switzerland, a wide-legged pair in a deep navy that lena had tailored to fit your waist properly, and a linen collarless button down in a seafoam so pale it’s almost white, the sleeves cuffed up to your elbows, a pair of airforce 1s which your friend had promised you are, without fail, cool. you feel nervous but then your friends seriously look through some art pieces in the museum before the show, and one of them has on a pair of leather chaps, and no one cares at all. you’ve pulled your hair up into a careful, smooth bun for as long as you can remember, and at the show you close your eyes and let your heart hurt: you miss ava. you miss the love of your life, and you miss your faith, and you miss something you’ve wanted your entire life: to be seen as who you are. to be brave enough.

there’s lilting smoke and bright lights diluted by it, everything striking in urdu; you can’t translate each word, of course not, but you do understand: there are so many ways to pray. there are so many gods to pray to.

your friend drops you off at your apartment later that night; you stand in the kitchen in your black sports bra and the simplest pair of black cotton underwear you could find, and let your hair out of its bun. your skin is clean and clear and you have more freckles now than you have your entire life. your hair has gotten long, and every few days someone decides to tell you it’s beautiful. it is, you guess, even though, sometimes, it doesn’t feel like yours. you’d watched paris is burning a few weeks ago, alone at night when it was dark and the only noise you could hear was the gentle brush of the waves outside, after you’d poured yourself one of your favorite ipas and made popcorn, after you’d liet yourself eat a piece of pizza even though you hadn’t gone on a run earlier. you don’t feel like yourself, not all the way: you don’t always want to look at your hips and your chest and when your hair tickles along the middle of your back you have to close your eyes and breathe through it; you love the muscles that have grown sharper and bigger along your arms and the ink in your skin and the way your thighs cut strong and taper down to your knees, the color of your eyes at sunset. you are becoming; it hurts.

you watch the holiness in the ballrooms and you know: people have been far, far braver than you. loving ava — loving yourself — is not a kind of death sentence; it’s a kind of life.

camila facetimes you in the mid-morning, after you’ve just finished sparring. you’re in a sports bra, the weather too hazy and hot to wear your entire gi on the full walk home. camila grins when she sees your bare shoulders.

‘picking up the ladies, bea?’

you’ve never definitively said anything, but you kissed ava and then renounced your vows and, honestly, you think everyone probably knew the entire time anyway — it’s not as scary as you thought it would be: camila’s eyes are bright and clear and she’s just calling to say hi. there’s no condemnation; there’s no judgement, only your friend, your sister.

‘no, no,’ you say, and camila pouts, which makes you laugh. ‘it’s just hot.’

‘probably because you’re shirtless on the streets of los angeles.’

‘it’s a two block walk home from my dojo, camila.’

‘you’re not a nun anymore,’ she says. ‘let me have a little fun with it, at least.’

you’re quiet, just a beat too long.

‘how are you doing?’ she asks, resolute and gentle like always.

it goes without saying: you miss ava so much it feels like you’ve broken your wrists; you are in love with the world. ‘i’m — i’m figuring it out.’

it’s a more hopeful answer than camila was expecting, clearly, because she perks up and smiles.

‘well,’ she says, ‘it looks good on you.’

one night you think of the curve of ava’s rib. the twelfth, exactly, the way it wrapped slightly in her back, near her spine, a flutter away. you think of the way her shirt rode up in the middle of the night, how she rolled over onto her stomach and you saw the dimples above the waistband of her shorts, the curve of her ass, the nape of her neck, the delicate press of her wrists. it felt wrong, to look like that, your eyes red with sleep — but she was there, and she was so, so beautiful.

one night you can’t sleep and you close your eyes and think about the way ava’s lips had felt against yours. you try not to concentrate on any of the bad, just for now, just for a breath, just for this sliver of moonlight and the quiet seep of your desire onto your fingers when you press between your legs.

you wonder, absently, if hell will open up and swallow you whole. you rub circles around your clit and try, so hard, to listen to your body, to trust it like you had only learned how to do in a fight, like you had only allowed yourself in moments of pain and danger. but you’re safe, in this big bed by the ocean, and you think of ava’s twelfth rib and heaven and you come silently, pleasure drenching down your spine as you allow it to curve into the light.

you give your body to yourself, just for a few minutes, and it feels like heaven. you lie back against your pillow and blink open your eyes and laugh.

ava has been back for less than twelve hours before she flits through your closet. you’ve picked up pieces here and there, mostly earth tones, mostly loose and comfortable fabrics; you have a few hoodies, which seem to really delight her, and a tweed jacket you haven’t fully worked up the courage to wear with some slacks yet, although they’re both there, and ready, and available.

‘this is so gay,’ she says fondly, meaning, you presume, your entire wardrobe, and it’s so, so stupid for you to feel panicked, because you are gay and you want, so badly, to love being gay, because you love ava, more than heaven and earth, and she came back for you. but still, you can’t erase so many years of hating a fundamental part of who you are; ava frowns and walks up to you slowly. ’bea.’

‘it’s fine.’

‘i’m sorry.’ she takes both of your hands in hers and runs her thumb along the back gently. ‘i don’t — this is all still kind of new to you, i guess.’

it’s gentle, and forgiving, and opens up so much space for you. you had wanted, so, so many times, to change into who you are, brimming under the surface, and you’d only started to feel brave enough when you’d seen her genuine smile at your new slacks in switzerland. you suppose, really, it’s not that much different now. ‘i, uh, i see a therapist.’

‘oh?’ she doesn’t back away, only squeezes your hands. ‘that’s awesome. do you like them?’

‘i do.’

she just stands and waits and you are thankful for her, again and again; you have missed her so, so much.

‘i started — because i was grieving,’ you say, quietly and in the direction of a row of sneakers on the floor. ‘i went because i was hurting, and i didn’t know what to do with it.’ you had started going because, one night, you had gotten roaringly drunk at a little bar in echo park and felt like you wanted to walk into fucking traffic on the 405 when a girl with ava’s lotion passed by you, but that’s a detail you can mention another time, or never.

‘i’m sorry, bea.’

‘no.’ you touch her face gently, rest your hand on her collarbone. ‘not your fault. but what i mean is that — i started going because i missed you, and i didn’t know who i was, really. i left the church, and i fell in love with you, and, like, how do i become who i really am as a lesbian ex-nun whose — uh, person, is, well, missing, for an undetermined amount of time.’

‘therapy does seem like a good start with that,’ she says sagely. ‘also, person?’

‘we hadn’t discussed what we were to each other, before the portal, so.’ you shrug. ‘i know you’re my partner. but you are also my person.’

‘love that,’ she says, and smiles, ‘and love you. and other than how incredible i am, what have you learned about yourself?’

you lead her to a drawer in your closet, and you open it and take out a chest binder, black and unassuming, one you haven’t worn yet but had bought one morning online, after you’d had a wonderful surf session and you had wondered, just enough, how it might feel. ‘i don’t know,’ you say. ‘i don’t — i’m figuring it out.’ ava is still and patient beside you; you have a holy war coming, one neither of you is sure to survive, and it all seems to matter a little less in the face of it. or, maybe, it matters more. ‘is that okay?’

‘fuck yeah,’ ava says. ‘you’re so hot, like, god, even hotter than i remember? what a fucking gift! and, yeah, i mean, you’re however you feel, regardless of me. i know i’m like really awesome, but i’m just a person. kind of. for these purposes, i’m just a girl. mostly.’ she laughs at herself. ‘anyway, try it on! if you want. i love you, and i want to see.’

for your entire life you’ll hold it in your heartspace: i love you, and i want to see. just like that, just like a commandment — true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy. ‘okay.’

‘sweet,’ ava says, ‘i’ll be waiting out here, whenever you’re ready.’

you step into the binder and pull it on like you’d watched a few tutorials of, and you don’t think it’s something you want all of the time, but your heart pounds and your palms sweat and then your entire body settles when you situate the straps on your shoulders and turn in the mirror, see your chest mostly flat. again, it’s like seeing yourself for the very first time: there you are.

you wipe a few tears from your cheeks and let out a big breath and then slip a t-shirt over your head, pad out to where ava is very obviously vibrating with excitement and not at all reading the book on her lap, opened to a random page.

she groans and leans back dramatically. ‘even hotter, wow.’

‘yeah?’

‘yes!’ she narrows her eyes. ‘but, from what i think your therapist is getting at: how does it make you feel? even if i wasn’t here to tell you how hot you are, which i always will be now, obviously. but even if i wasn’t, what are you feeling?’

unbound, you remember, unburdened. ‘happy,’ you say, and she stands and runs her hands up and down your sides, over your flat chest, and kisses you. ‘i feel so happy.’

ava is overjoyed when one of your friends in madrid invites you to a drag show. technically, you’re both supposed to be Very Seriously Working, because there really is an imminent number of battles looming over the horizon, but you rent a little flat a few blocks from headquarters and sometimes try your best to take ava on dates. obviously, she enjoys doing everything in her power to loudly woo you: she buys flowers from a vendor on the corner and dramatically gives them to you; she brings home books you might like, in all kinds of languages; she tells everyone at the ocs how your lesbian love was what was strong enough to bring her back from the other realm. it’s all a little ridiculous, but she always has been, and it’s intoxicating to be the sole focus of her joy sometimes.

ava whistles and you roll your eyes when you slip a warm oversized cream color wool sweater over your binder, careful not to mess up your meticulous bun, and let it sit loose and elegant over a pair of navy slacks and slip on a pair of brown loafers. ava is in a dress and a blazer and she’s done eyeliner and lipstick and she’s so, so fucking beautiful. you’d put a little mascara and chapstick on and a little thrill goes through you: ava wants to be on your arm tonight; she wants to sit next to you and whisper joyously in your ear and kiss you and come home with you — ava looks like that and ava is yours.

there are three queens performing that night, two songs each, ava informs you, when you meet up with your friends. it’s loud and bright and one of the queens — ava’s favorite, if her screaming next to you has any indication — does ‘pure/honey’ from renaissance, which, in ava’s words, brings the house down.

‘gender fuckery is heaven, baby,’ the queen says after, to absolutely raucous cheers from the crowd. ava looks at you with a raised brow but her grin is so big you can’t do anything but kiss her: the swell in your chest is good, you decide, like a perfect set by the pier just after sunrise, wave after wave breaking in a way your body knows exactly what to do with, exactly how to ride safely into shore. you wipe a few tears but you let ava drag you to your feet and you sing along, on your own accord, when they play whitney houston.

‘what’s one thing — especially something that you’ve maybe felt scared of, or that you’re not sure you’ll like — that you associate with queerness that you’ve always wanted to try?’

and, like, therapy is hard, okay? it’s hard when ava is so overjoyed and so fearless about her own sexuality, and about loving you without any hesitation; of course, you both have trauma, but ava has never, in her entire life, tried to deny herself want or pleasure or expression.

and it’s hard because, god, there are so many things on that list. some of them you’ve done: buying men’s pants (that fit you like a dream, thank you very much); dancing with ava and finally kissing her after a few shots; going to a lesbian bar; going to a drag show. you want to get more tattoos — some that mean important things, and maybe some that don’t, that you just like — and you want to smoke weed the way ava does with your friends sometimes, laughing slow and soft and curling up in your lap. you want to kiss ava in front of a van gogh without checking around you first; you want to pull her chair out at dinner; you want to laugh when your friends say that’s gay — with lots of love — after one of them says something sweet about their partner. you want ava to steal your clothes. you want to go to pride. you want, very badly, to find a church that doesn’t make you feel like dying.

‘it doesn’t have to be serious,’ your therapist says, coaxing you along just a little. ‘it doesn’t have to be huge or life-changing. just something you might try, whatever comes to mind.’

‘a haircut.’ it sort of comes out of your mouth without permission, but maybe that was the point; you’re still figuring out want and desire and giving in to them without anxiety.

your therapist smiles, and it feels good, warm, to know that you’ve told the truth, that she seems to understand. ‘why does that scare you?’

you look down at your hands and will yourself not to fidget; your therapist notices and hands you a stim toy, admittedly your favorite one.

‘well, first, what if i hate it?’

‘haircuts are, fortunately, relatively temporary. what would you do if you did hate it?’

‘grow it out again, i guess.’ you think of ava’s collection of hats and beanies. ‘a cap, maybe?’

‘logical. what else scares you?’

‘what if ava hates it?’

‘well, from everything i know of ava, i doubt she would hate anything you decide could bring you joy. and she seems very into you.’

it gets you to smile: ava makes that known often, and to everyone she wants, it’s true.

‘when ava tries something, like a haircut or color, or a more masculine or feminine outfit, how do you feel?’

‘i love her, obviously. in any form; she’s beautiful and she’s my partner.’

your therapist smiles. ‘exactly. and, beyond that, i know we’ve been talking about this, but your sexuality and your relationship to it, and your joy in it, lies far outside of your partner. you were a lesbian before you met ava, and you will be, no matter what your relationship with her is, unless you decide you feel something different. your queerness and place in it isn’t just about sex, or your partner. it’s about who you are, fundamentally, and how you want to be seen for it.’

you nod, take a deep breath. ‘yes. i guess, well, when i was younger, 12 or 13, maybe, i wanted to cut my hair short. i was in so many martial arts and archery classes; i ran and swam all the time, so it seemed easier. it also seemed … cool? like, i thought it might feel… that it might feel good, or right. i didn’t know why.’

‘why didn’t you cut your hair then?’

‘my mother, when i asked, she said that it would make people think i’m … that i’m a dyke.’ you pause, let the hurt well up in you and breathe it out. ‘she used that word, and it scared me.’

‘what does that word make you feel now?’

‘i… i love it? it still feels a little scary, maybe, but — i already know people look at me and don’t think i’m straight, even when i’m not with ava. that used to be terrifying, because what if someone was unkind or even dangerous? but that … it hasn’t happened, and, if it did, i could handle it. i know i could.’

‘so what would a haircut change, then?’

‘if i — ‘ you imagine it, then, you let yourself: how the collar of your favorite turtleneck sweater might look, how easy it would be to take care of after surfing, how you could put on mascara and linen and your favorite sunglasses and hold ava’s hand, just like always. ‘people would see me and know i’m a lesbian, i think. it’s… a choice, for me at least, to look queer. and a haircut is one i can’t immediately change, like clothes. and we’re going to see my old friends soon, and i don’t know what they’d think, and — ‘

‘your friends have been accepting of you, and of ava, and of you and ava together, right?’

‘yes, of course. but it would just be — i couldn’t hide. everyone would know; everyone would be able to see, all the time. ava isn’t read as queer all the time; i can pass as straight. but if i couldn’t — ‘

when you don’t continue, your therapist gently says, ‘you would be seen. which is scary, and i hear what you’re saying, absolutely. but, beatrice, you would be seen for who you are, without apology.’

‘that’s true.’

‘i have one more question.’

‘okay.’

‘what would happen if you loved it?’

‘how are you doing?’ your stylist, xavi — one of your favorite people on the planet, one of your best friends who has been offering to give you a haircut you actually want for two years now — calmly combs out your long hair after she’d washed it.

‘i think i might throw up.’

it makes her laugh, which is maybe a little mean but also why you’re so fond of her; she had been one of the students in your adult beginners aikido class and, while she hadn’t shown any talent or much interest, she had made you smile all the time and invited you and ava to dinner with her and her wife as soon as she found out you mentioned ava, and you had been friends ever since. most days, you just put your hair into a neat bun. ava likes to play with it down, especially when you’re sleeping in, but when you told her you wanted to cut it she had kissed you square on the mouth. ‘i love you, and i want to see,’ she’d told you again, and played with the engagement ring around your finger. ’even if it looks terrible — which isn’t possible, because it’s you — there’s no way i’m ever asking you to take this off. ever, ever, ever, bea. okay?’

xavi pats your shoulder; she had excitedly fit you in this morning after you’d texted her after therapy yesterday with pictures of a short, neat mid-fade to the skin, sitting in your car before you even drove home, afraid you’d lose your nerve if you didn’t. ‘we can just do a trim, or start with a little off, and you can decide how you’re feeling from there.’

it’s so patient and so kind. ‘no, no. i — i’m sure. i’m just scared.’ it’s ridiculous, really, you think: you’ve been shot and stabbed and blown up multiple times; you have killed more people than you can count; you have almost died, so, so many times. but this, this is living, true to who you are. ‘i — this is what i want. i know this is what i want.’

‘okay then,’ xavi says, and collects your hair, smooth and long, into a ponytail at the base of your skull. ‘ready?’

‘as i’ll ever be.’

it’s fast and unceremonious, just a few sips as you close your eyes, but then you feel hair tickle your cheeks and you open your eyes and xavi hands you your long ponytail with a grin.

‘oh my god.’

‘okay,’ she says, ‘we can stop here? i can definitely make this work.’

‘no, no,’ you say, ‘it’s good.’ you laugh. ‘i feel good.’

‘you want to keep going?’

‘yeah,’ you say, let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, settled in a way, already, that you never have been before in your entire life. ‘let’s do it.’

‘amazing,’ xavi says. ‘this is going to look so good.’

and, really, it does: xavi turns the clippers on and you let go of the swoop in your stomach, your clammy palms, the too-fast thud of your heart, and just let yourself become. xavi explains what she’s doing each step, and she talks about the kittens she’s fostering, and asks you about your new aikido class, and it’s easy.

she finishes; she places a hot towel on your neck and makes sure your hairline is clean in the back and then shows you how to put a little pomade in the top, an inch and a half long, textured and dark. she takes the cape off and you stand, look at yourself in the mirror: your favorite crewneck, and a pair of pants ava had surprised you with from artists and fleas, the thin chain with a tiny cross you don’t take off sitting just below your collarbone. ‘i love it, xavi,’ you say, your hands are shaking but when you bring them up to your hair there’s a clarity in your chest that’s never been there before: unbound, unburdened, you remember, and also: i felt finally myself.

you’re in and out of it after surgery; you know your injuries as ava told you and then the surgeon explained more completely. mostly, you’re just relieved you’re alive, because the moment before you hit the wall you were sure you weren’t going to be. you’d asked mary a few hours ago, while ava was in the bathroom, to convince ava to take a walk and then eat an actual meal, not just pick at food while she sits by your bedside. it works: mary bullies ava into it, but sometimes, even now, that’s just what you have to do.

you fall asleep again; you’ve been walking more the past day, up and around with a walker a few times a day. between that and the pain medicine you’re still on, and the residuals from anesthesia, it’s impossible to not nap fairly often. when you wake up, lilith is kicked back in the chair by one side of your bed, her feet, boots still on, resting by your side on the blanket. mother superion sits next to her, doing a crossword in the daily paper. the sight makes you laugh a little, and you’re pleased that you’re a little less sore.

they both notice you’re awake; mother superion puts down her crossword but lilith doesn’t move an inch. you’re thankful your surgeon had let you sit on the shower seat and let ava wash your hair earlier this morning, careful to not press hard against the bruise on the back of your skull or get any water on your incisions — you feel slightly less gross and definitely more awake than you had before.

she looks at you and you feel anxious, all of a sudden: lilith appraises you, and then slouches even further into your seat. ‘gay,’ she decides on, and then, ‘aerodynamic.’

you look to mother superion for a moment, whose mouth twitches in a smile. ‘we didn’t have much chance to talk before the battle,’ she says, ‘but what lilith means is that your hair suits you.’

your brain is still sluggish, but — ’because i’m… gay and aerodynamic?’

lilith, miraculously, laughs. ‘well, sure, but it looks good.’ she shrugs. ‘you look like yourself.’

mother superion nods. ‘it’s good to see you becoming who you are.’

you’re definitely still loopy, overly emotional, but you might tear up from that even if you weren’t. still, lilith rolls her eyes. ‘oh, come on, beatrice.’

‘sorry,’ you sniffle, then rub your eyes.

you hear ava’s, ‘you made her cry? i was only gone for like, half an hour? what the fuck?’

‘i said something nice,’ lilith defends, getting to her feet.

‘sure you did,’ ava says. ‘i can still take you in a fight. i’ll do it, swear to god.’

‘you definitely cannot take me in a fight, ava.’

ava stands, indignant, although it’s made less effective by the comfortable hoodie a little crooked on her shoulders and mary’s a whole head taller than her. the halo flares a little but quiets when you reach out a hand in her direction.

‘oh, for fuck’s sake,’ lilith says, and then in a flash she’s gone. mother superion squeezes your hand before she heads out with a nod and another soft smile, and mary follows.

ava sits on the side of your bed. ‘was lilith an asshole? i swear if she made you feel bad about anything i will kill her.’

‘she was actually, in her own way, kind. and mother superion was too. i’m just more emotional than usual because of the meds.’

‘you��re sure?’

you tug ava down a little and she messes with your hair with a soft smile, then kisses your forehead. ‘very chivalrous of you, to offer to defend my honor, though.’

she laughs. ‘i don’t want to fight lilith again, ever, in any realm, in any way.’ she presses her mouth to yours. ‘but, for you, bea, i would do anything.’

‘you look — ‘ you let your brother fumble over his words for a moment and then laugh, spare him any more worry.

‘hot is fine.’

he rolls his eyes. ‘you look incredible, bea.’ the suit lena had made you — navy, and light, a slim tuxedo pant, a single button jacket and a perfect, crisp white t-shirt tucked in neatly, sitting beneath — fits exactly how you want it. your hair has grown out, and it parts in the middle now, and flops — as ava loves to say — just above your eyes; the sides and back are still buzzed short, and it makes you smile, even now — your ‘prince charming era’ according to ava. xavi had done your makeup: tinted moisturizer and a little bit of mascara.

‘i do look incredible, huh?’

he smiles. ‘yeah. you really do.’ he lint rolls your shoulders for the final time, more out of nerves than there having ever been lint in the first place. ‘well, let’s do this then. let’s go get you married.’

he walks you down the aisle and then you wait in front of the altar you had made, barefoot on the beach, and when ava rounds the corner and then smiles at you, you know you’ve given her a gift too: i want to see. i love you, and i want to see.

‘thank god i married you,’ ava says, tracing a line down your spine and then along the linework tattoo on your ribcage.

‘mmmm,’ you say, ‘i agree. but why, specifically.’

she bends down to laugh into your shoulder before kissing down your spine. ‘it’s fucking insane that you get hotter like, literally every day.’

you laugh too. ‘thank you, my wife.’

she squeezes your hips. ‘wow. my wife.’

you turn over beneath her and pull her down slowly to kiss you. the snow is falling outside but the fireplace at your room in a resort in the alps is beautiful, and everything is warm. you feel the halo hum beneath her hands and it’s easy, it’s so easy, to let ava roll her hips against yours and press you down into the mattress; it’s easy to put on boxers — black calvins, tight against your thighs — after you shower and stand in the mirror. your hands are calm, and it’s so easy, when you really look, to see who you are in your body. to belong only to yourself: there you are.

#wn #warrior nun fic #avatrice #avatrice fic #butch!beatrice #an ode to her bc i love her & i love being butch #if this isn't ur vibe... pls just move along thank u #ava’s favorite way of affirming bea is just being horny. a queen #this entire thing exists bc i had the first line & then lilith saying ‘gay. aerodynamic’ & i had to get from one to the other lmao

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jades-typurriter · 1 year

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Gal Pals + Your First Howl

A POV transformation thing: your closest friends are werewolves, they get you in on it, and they sit with you through the process of your first transformation! @bluebearial (the BESTIE) collaborated on this, basically just passing the draft back and forth; her writing is in purple and mine is in blue. PLEASE go check her out she's a fantastic artist and has more lovely and intimate writing like this on her blog

CW: they're gay werewolves. these girls are doing lots of petting and sniffing

Gloomy. That’s the one word that could describe this night. The sky is a deep grey. Thunder, far in the distance, still makes itself known in the form of a near-constant rumble. Despite the blanket of cloud that covers the sky, a pale glow could still be seen. Lycanthropy, as you had recently found out, doesn’t require direct moonlight to take effect. Just the presence of it is enough to make you itch. For new instincts to crop up. You wish you knew about this going in, but thankfully, your friends are a lot more experienced than you. Even better, they’re here to ride it out with you.

“I know the picture of like, breaking into a clearing in the woods, and having the moon behind you and everything when you transform for the first time is really cool,” trills Fetch, and even through the buzz of excitement and anxiety, you know where this is going. You’ve known it since English Lit. in college; it’s had a point-by-point for everything since even before then. “But not a ton of people actually get to do that! It’s like, part of the lycanthrope experience that gets sanitized and simplified a lot for wider audiences. Sooooo many movies do this bit, and the weather’s always perfect, and everything, but like… would you even wanna wander around in the woods on a normal day? Let alone a vulnerable one like this?”

“I dunno…~” lilts Plum, your other friend, from her place on the couch, “Days like this’re perfect for just, skulkin’ around in the dark. Scarin’ people. Like, rahh~” She even puts her paws up, showing off those amethyst-colored claws. As you watch her, you can’t help but wonder if this whole ‘lycanthropy’ thing has more of a mental effect than you’d first realized. As recently as this afternoon, she was pretty chipper! Happy to help with anything you’d need. But after the moon came out… She’s definitely the more laidback one now, compared to Fetch.

She always found at least some kind of fun in any situation, though a part of you wished she wouldn’t right at this moment. “Like, think about it. Remember when we first met? ‘N you found me diggin’ through your trash? You thought I was some kind’a dog. I wish I had a camera - remember the look on your face when I just started talking to you? Like…” She takes a pause, putting a paw up to her muzzle, trying her best not to laugh (and failing). Like her namesake, she is covered in a thick coat of purple. You remember that in her human form, she had purple highlights in her otherwise dark hair. You suppose the color of her fur was… somehow related to that? How does that even work? What would your fur look like? Yet another question you’d neglected to ask before, well. Y’know.

“Ohhhh my gosh, are you ever gonna leave me alone about that? I thought you were a lit-er-al wolf!!” Plum looks like she has something to say about that, but Fetch cuts her off: “I know, I know, I wasn’t wrong. You did turn out to be a huge bitch,” it says, voice saccharine and head tilting cutely to the side. Plum reaches over you to bop it with her paw, leaving you acutely aware of your position, sandwiched between your two friends. Squished, almost: both of them are much bigger than they are as humans, and they take up much more of the couch, too. You blush as her paw passes by your face—it’s bigger than your whole head. Thinking about Plum lurking out of sight, rummaging around with those powerful things… Thinking about how your own hands might be like that soon enough. You’d pipe up to ask about how soon to expect more changes, but it would be, what, the tenth time you asked? Plus, you’re not sure you want to draw attention to yourself if the partners start play-fighting. Well, maybe you would… But it’d probably be safer to wait until after your change.

But still. On one side, Fetch’s dense, cream fur coddles your arm and part of your leg, acting as a big, fluffy cushion. On the other side, Plum is really invading your personal space a bit as she tries to reach over at her partner. Being caught between a pair of - how tall are they– one, two, three… - six foot tall wolves has you squirming a bit. Partly to get comfy, and partly because… oh wow. This is really happening. Up until a few years ago, you’d figured werewolves weren’t, y’know, real? Your heart flutters. Your stomach tightens a bit, causing you to shudder - anything to somehow vent these feelings. You clench your fists and oh my god, were your fingernails always this sharp? They dig into your palms, causing you to relax your grip. Remembering the situation at hand - or was it ‘at paw’, Plum cranes her neck a bit to look down at you. At least, you’d assume that’s what she’s doing. Her snout is just about the only thing keeping her fluffy, full mane from completely covering her face.

“Hey, hey, listen dude,” she does her best to soothe you, “We’re gonna be here for you, alright? It’ll be like, kinda weird at first. Um, maybe a little scary? I dunno. But, like, once you get over the hump, it’ll feel sooo~o good. You’re gonna feel all soft ‘n like, fluffy ‘n stuff. Like, bwbwbwbwbwb.” She demonstrates in her own weird way, putting her paws to her own cheeks and rubbing them. Her ears, a little droopier than you’d expect from a wolf, flop from side to side as she bleps her tongue out at you. You do feel a bit more relaxed admittedly… Though, there’s another thing you hadn’t thought about before.

Werewolves smell. They don’t smell bad, really, though you wonder if there’s something else making you think that. They just have… a scent, one that’s hard to describe beyond… furry, and thanks to your spot between your two friends, they were basically hotboxing you with it. Every whiff of it makes you feel just a bit more, like, relaxed and stuff. I mean, these are your friends. They’re helping you through this. It’s just what the pack does for one another.

Fetch leans down, reaching behind you to put one paw on each of your shoulders, reassuring you. Well, trying to reassure you; getting so close is giving you another waft of Wolf Girl, and as familiar and calming as it is—you wonder if maybe you already knew what the two of them smelled like, and you’re just starting to recognize your friends the way dogs do—it’s starting to make your head spin. Or maybe that’s the changes, too…

“It really, really means a lot to us that we’re the ones you wanted to help you with this, bestie. Now, someone could have been a little bit gentler about infecting you,” it snips, pointing its snout accusingly at Plum. Oh, yeah. That’s where you recognize her smell from. She all but bowled you over when you had asked the two of them to bite you, and you… still thought about her weight on you fairly often. You wish you could stop thinking about it for, like, a second so you don’t seem like a flustered, shaky nerd, but it’s harder to forget it with every breath.“But the trust is still really sweet! And like, now I get to repay you for being so understanding when I came out, yeah?” It perks up its ears, smiling down at you. You (mercifully) lose yourself in that memory for a moment instead; you see its tail whipping back and forth behind it, and realize, yeah, you’ve been friends for a long time. You’re, like, besties! It always makes you giggle when Fetch calls you that. And you do trust them! Even if they’re a bit silly, you know the two of them are looking out for you. You’re in good paws.

“Yeah! We like, tooo~tally got you, dude. It’ll be a-okay,” she reassures you. “You’re like, basically our best friend so, like, y’know….

You blink a few times, shaking your head as your hearing gets more and more muffled. Wh,what’s happening? It’s as if your ears were suddenly plugged. You can’t hear anything now. Just as quickly as it happens, it seems to stop.

“Oh, huh.”

It’s not until you hear her voice again that you calm down. Though - wow, um, that was a bit loud?? You grimace, wondering just what caused her to shout like that. It was as if her voice gained a ton more bass all of a sudden. You glare up at her, opening your mouth to scold her, but you quickly realize that… like, everything is louder. The rumbling outside, the room’s ambience, even Fetch’s tail as it slaps the couch. Plum’s paw reaches down to the top of your head, where your… ears… are…? “Ohoho~ Hey, Fetch, check this out~” Like, you could just hear the excitement in Plum’s voice as beckons her partner. A pair of tall, fuzzy triangles peaks up from beneath your hair. Speaking of, has your hair gotten longer? You can like, kinda feel it brushing your shoulders… Your thoughts begin to swim as you feel your bestie’s paw just, rest upon your head like that. You want to look up at her, but something compels you to angle to head down. She holds one of your ears between her thumb and index finger, softly rubbing it between her digits. Your ear flicks in her gentle grip, instinctually moving in a way you like, really cannot control. Like, just a bit, y’know? The same, strange feeling causes your free ear to fold down, your shoulders to slump a bit… You squirm some more as the meekest little whine slips out. You rub your nose. Either that scent is getting stronger, or like, your nose is getting more sensitive. Either way… It’s enough to make you sneeze.

“Awww!” Fetch practically whispers. “The new ears are so cuuuuute! Just go easy on ‘em, Plum, you know those things are sensitive when you first get ‘em.” It bends down, poking its snout right into the ear you’ve angled away from Plum. Its voice is so quiet that it barely moves the air, but it’s still so totally clear: “How do you like ‘em, though, bestie?” You shudder, the tingle in your ear crashing down the back of your neck, along your spine, and into your tail—into your tail?! You twist around, pulling your head away from Plum’s paw (you have to suppress another whimper at the thought of no longer being petted) and, looking down, see a fluffy sprout bunching up the bottom of your shirt. Your eyes get all big, and as you get all excited about it, you watch it start wagging basically on its own? And you can feel it and it feels like you’re dancing for joy? You yell, looking back up at the two girls to either side, and Fetch yells back at you. “Oh my gosh oh my GOSH!!!” It squeals. “I can’t believe it came in so quickly!! It’s soooooo cute oh my gosh…” It pauses, then leans down conspiratorially, its own tail wagging again, energetic and out of time with yours. “Hey. You know what’d be a real fun way to scream it all out? Since we’re celebrating?” You tilt your head, feeling your ears flop with the motion, and realize that you probably look a lot like Fetch did a minute ago.

You have a good idea of what it means. If there’s one good thing about all those werewolf movies you like to watch - you kind of know the beats to this ‘story’. …That, and, your friends finding your collection is what set this into motion in the first place. Your tail wags furiously as you put your paws together. That short, stubby thing grows inch by inch, moment by moment. Every little wag it makes, it feels softer, so much softer. You start to understand what Plum meant by those fuzzy feelings. Just the sensation of having a tail at all, let alone wagging it, fills you with a euphoria you didn’t know you yearned for - a euphoria that seems to bubble up inside you. You’ve never howled before, but you’re totally not against it.

“Scream it out…?” Plum quietly asks, a little slower on the draw than you. She perks up an ear, furrowing her brow. “What, like… Oh. Ohhhh.” And she friggin’ grins. “Oh, man. It’ll be just like when we first came out. She leans a bit, squishing you between the two of them. Plum reaches out for her pawrtner’s paw, gently taking hold of it. “Remember that~? It was like, so romantic…~ Holding paws, howling together, getting nice and close after~ And like, we started getting all grabby ‘n stuff, testing each other out, and…~ And– A-Anyway,” she catches herself, sparing you the more… intimate. details, “You ready~? One, two, three!~”

“AwooOOO~OOO~~!” Angling her head up, Plum gives it her all! It starts low and slow, but ramps up in volume until it’s all you can hear. And you feel hyped! Your euphoria reaches a fever pitch, boiling over until you just can’t keep it in anymore! Why not follow your instincts, joining your besties in their symphony?

With Plum’s voice reverberating between your ears, inside your skull, coursing through your chest like the bass of the speakers at a concert, you lift your voice as well, throwing your head back and lifting your voice to match hers, at least as best you can. It cracks and scratches more than once, but you don’t care. It still sounds beautiful to you, and it’s such a rush! You feel like you’re standing through the sunroof and blasting music on the way home from a frat party; you feel like you’re on stage and your voice is carrying through a packed arena.

Fetch claps its paws together, “yay”-ing and chanting ‘go, go, go!” before finally lifting its own snout and joining the two of you. It effortlessly, naturally harmonizes with Plum—the two of them have been running as a pack for a long time, after all, and they’ve had more practice individually than you have. Still, the sound the three of you make together makes butterflies in your stomach, and then washes them away again with liquid awe. It’s like the crowd you were singing to is cheering back, a beautiful droning of joyful voices, shouting wildly and without inhibition.

You were always so jealous of the two of them, once you’d found out. They’d been your friends for years, but when they started dating, and after Fetch realized it was otherkin, Plum turned it at its request, and well—it’s a lot harder to hide two werewolves than it is to hide one. Of course, it didn’t change anything between the three of you, other than feeling a little weird about your fascination with werewolves. Being a fan of the genre, being a furry, even, felt sorta… like stereotyping them? Fetch would use the word “appropriative”, if it wasn’t currently singing its lungs out.

Now, though, after their reassurance, and after doing a bit of digging into those “weird” feelings, you just feel like you’ve been missing out! You keep howling until your throat gets tired, until you start choking on your own drool and feeling the scratchy strain on your new vocal cords. At some point, Fetch reaches out to pat you on the head again, and notices something about your shoulders.

“Dude! No way! Your coat is coming in now, too!” You finally gulp down a breath, after what feels like holding a note for an eternity (and pretty poorly, but hey, you can already feel yourself getting better!) and reach up to feel around your neck. Your hair hasn’t just gotten longer—it’s begun to crawl its way down between your shoulder blade and along your arms!

You think back to before, the way your tail first sprouted from beneath your shirt. You’re getting the same feeling now, watching your new coat spill over your shirt’s collar. You were always pretty flat, but - your cheeks start to glow as you feel your shirt ride up, buoyed by your developing bosom. If that isn’t enough, that same fur spreads across it, only adding to its mass. A thick tuft sprouts up in your cleavage, helping it to spill over the top of your collar. And god, it feels warm. You grow aware of that as you hug around it. You squeeze it in your arms, and an exhilarating feeling rumbles throughout your body. …Or, was that rumbling coming from you? One end of your mouth curls up as you growl to yourself, prompting an amused coo from Plum.

“Hey. Nice teeth.~”

You break from your self-imposed stupor for a moment, instinctively licking your teeth. They’re sharp. Especially your canines, but the rest of your teeth have grown similarly long and jagged. You whisper something resembling a ‘thank you’, too sheepish and too caught up trying to keep yourself even halfway composed. It’s a losing battle, though. Your shirt rubs up against your chest, making every little squirm a challenge to keep yourself quiet. As your coat thickens, it shimmers in the dim light. Your thoughts are harder to grip, divided among so many unfamiliar sensations. Your ears flick and swivel with every little sound. Your tail curls and wags and bats the cushion behind you. Your nose, well on its way to snoutsville is full of unfamiliar, addictive smells. You don’t know what to do with yourself. You reach out to Fetch, grabbing its arm and clinging to her. You let out a whine, rubbing your cheek against its silky fur, hoping for a lifeline as a warm, kind of itchy, but liberating feeling spreads further down your body as it is overtaken by your developing coat.

It doesn’t help you as much as you were hoping. Like, not at all. Fetch is just sooooo comfy, and you feel Plum’s paw between your ears again, and your head starts getting like… all cloudy and stuff… She gets her claws in, short little scratches that drag further and further down through your hair, down the back of your neck—soooo so sososo sensitive right now!!---and up behind your jaw, and you whiiiiiiine and just slowly slump over across Fetch’s lap. It giggles, Plum giggles, and if you weren’t so busy squirming, you might be laughing too, from the way she’s making your head swim.

With your head in its lap like that, panting from all the stimulation, you smell it even more strongly. It smells good. It makes your face burn, it gets your blood pumping, and you follow your nose to its source without a moment’s hesitation, before looking down your snout and realizing it’s pushing into her skirt, right between her legs. You freeze, eyes darting up to its face. It’s laughing harder than it was before, so like… you didn’t make it uncomfortable? Or mad? At least? Plum gives your rear (oh god you were pointing your butt straight at her) a SLAP with her heavy paw, and both of them crack up all over again at the involuntary YELP. It at least un…unsticked the gears in your brain. You apologize profusely, finally pulling your face away from Fetch’s crotch, but it reaches its paw up to cup your snout. “Bestie, don’t even worry. Everybody gets, uh… kinda excited, on their first time. I know I did!” It pauses. “I mean, me and Plum were already dating by then, so—” The mention of dating makes your face so hot that you have to bring up your own paws—when had they even finished changing!! Omigosh!!—to cover it. “Ohhhhh… I mean, hey, I wasn’t bringing that up to say we couldn’t try stuff!! New instincts, new feelings, no judgment, right? That’s what we said!” You look up at her, half-desperate and half-embarrassed, eager to hear the reassurance. “And I mean… we could try dating too, if you wanted? Right, Plum?”

“Oh, yeah,” she readily agrees, before looking down at you, “If you’re, y’know, comfortable with it. Because…”

Your ears flop down as she leans in, her snout basically touching yours. The way she stares at you seems to demand your attention. Whatever she’s about to say, it must be important. You nearly flinch as she opens her mouth again, pre-empting what she might say next. And what does she say?

“I can be a little ruff.”

Your embarrassment like, kinda deflates a little. You almost feel annoyed that you walked into that one. You look up at Fetch again, hoping it could relate, only to be greeted with a barely controlled snicker.

“But, really.” The sound of her voice turns your attention back to her. “If you wanna give yourself a test drive, we’ve got you covered.”As she speaks, Fetch’s paw returns to your head, and, like… wow.~ Your thoughts swim and spiral anew as you let out a content, short “hwrrff.” You tilt your head towards her, savoring her touch. Those gentle, drawn-out strokes. You detect a new scent wafting up from the two of them, fanned by their tails’ steady wags. You can’t put a finger on what it means until you feel a warmth between your loins, one that only deepens the more you breathe it in. You suppose that this is one of the many, many things that you’ll learn before dawn. The night’s just getting started, after all.

#writeblr #transformation #tgtf #werewolf #furry fiction #trans author #indie author #werewolves #transgender #trans #lesbian #wlw #original writing #short story

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faetaiity · 2 years

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I have a few things to say, 1, your writing is really cool!! 2, I thought your profile said "gay, autistic frog" 3, I was wondering if you'd be interested in writing about dark au! donnie with a spider mutant s/o, I think their dynamic would be really interesting considering rise!donnie is scared of spiders

OKAY SO I MADE SOME CHANGES AS I THINK IT WOULD BE EASIER TO WRITE THIS BUT, BIG MAMA'S KID, YOU ARE HER KID, SO UR A YOKAI INSTEAD OF A MUTANT (Also you didn't specify GN or Male, but I WENT WITH MALE FOR SELF INDULGENCE)

Also btw, I am going to be gone from tomorrow thru to Halloween, I most likely won't make any fics during that because I will be at my relative's house and won't have my computer. CW: there's a link with a reference picture to what kind of Spider Y/N is, also mentions of Dark! Big Mama being a shitty parent lmao ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was that time of year again where Big Mama hosted a Party for her allies (The Turtles, Splinter, Draxum, and the Foot Clan.)

It almost always ended poorly, but Donnie hated the entire day

It was a non-stop 8-12 hours of dealing with a Huge yokai that was his most feared animal, a Spider.

Of course, his brothers hated it too, being around that many people, ANNOYING people at that, they hated Big Mama's phrases and accent, they despise Cassandra, even Mikey calls her "TOO GODDAMN MUCH"

The only people they even remotely tolerate there is Draxum and Splinter, even then, they get on their nerves sometimes, they would NEVER say that though, that will guarantee a night in the dungeon.

The party was interesting if they took everyone else away though, it was always a party at Big Mama's special area at the Battle Nexus, fighting and blood was always present, and that was the ONLY good part.

However, this year was different, you were there.

Big Mama paraded you around as his Gorgeous Son, you had a different genus of Spider compared to Big Mama, you were a Gooty Sapphire Ornamental

Donnie, even though he is afraid of Spiders, would be lying if he didn't say you were Gorgeous, just like Big Mama said

He did notice that you seemed to HATE the attention, He couldn't blame you, it was a room full of Manipulative, Smartass, Traitorous assholes, hell, he and his brothers could be put under that category, it sure as hell wasn't inaccurate.

Once he noticed you leave the area, He followed you, you were walking into your room, he hesitated before following you in

Your room was gorgeous, it was covered in a light blue silk, there were Technological systems, making it seem like you enjoyed Robotics

The floorboard creaked under Donnie's feet, making you snap your head towards the noise

You both stared at each other for a second, you looked alarmed before you recognized him from the party

"Come to try and get on Big Mama's good side through me?" your voice seemed soft, but accusatory

"No." Donnie replied bluntly, "I just thought you were just like your Mother said."

You squinted at him, all eight eyes narrowing, you scoffed before saying (More like hissing) out "You know she only says that when guests are around, it Inflates her ego when they agree, she doesn't mean it, she's told me so."

He looked stunned before you kept going on "She just wants to use me to Strengthen her Ties with either you turtles or the foot clan, she's tried it before with Previous clans."

"But" you said softly, "I appreciate you complimenting me like a normal person, your brothers kept making sexual innuendos." your face contorted into an uncomfortable grimace at the reminder of what they said

He seemed to laugh "Doesn't sound like Raph, but DEFINITELY like Mikey and Leo", you smiled at that.

"My Name's Y/N."

"Donatello" he responded gruffly

You two ended up bitching about Big Mama and talking about science, robotics, engineering, and experiments up until he had to leave

You ended up exchanging phone numbers with the purple turtle, you knew how evil he was, and what he does (Reader doesn't support hurting humans in this fic), but oddly enough, you couldn't help but find him cute, douchebag and all.

#save rottmnt #dark! rottmnt au #rottmnt headcanons #rottmnt #rottmnt x reader #donnie x reader #donatello #chaotic gremlin fae #fae being a dumbass #rottmnt x male reader

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nabibeans · 3 months

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Star-studded night

Summary: Seonghwa has always been a fan of K-pop idol, Kim Hongjoong. He admired that the idol was openly transgender and gay, not caring what the industry thought. After a concert one night seonghwa finds himself being asked to sign an nda by security. Why? Because Hongjoong finds him attractive.

Disclaimer: this is a smut fic, no minors! Cunt and pussy are used to describe Hongjoong’s genitals.

•

Seonghwa was excited to say the least, like; pee your pants excited. Currently he was standing in line, waiting for the gates to open to the venue for a concert he’d been waiting for his whole life. Kim Hongjoong was performing tonight, openly trans and gay K-pop idol Kim Hongjoong; Seonghwa’s role model!

He was beyond excited to see him, he’d tried many times and failed to buy tickets, but by some luck he was able to get in tonight with a few friends.

“Holy shit, I can’t believe we’re seeing the Kim Hongjoong! Seonghwa how are you not pissing yourself!?”

His friend Wooyoung shook him, his own eyes wide with excitement. Seonghwa only giggled softly, shaking his head at his friends behavior. In his head he was screaming like a little kid,

“Believe me I’m just as excited to see him! Gosh this is a dream come true! No more dancing around my bedroom and singing to posters, it’ll be the real him!”

Seonghwa swooned, placing a hand over his heart earning a giggle from Wooyoung. The door finally opened a few moments later, entering the venue Seonghwa’s eyes widened. The posters lining the walls of Hongjoong were beautiful, the decorations in the venue matched the artist personality and vibe so well.

“Wow, this is..so much better than online livestreams.”

He sighed breathlessly, Wooyoung nodded in agreement.

“Isn’t it! I hope Yeosang makes it before the show starts. It sucks that work is keeping him late, how did you manage to get off the hook so fast?”

Seonghwa chuckled softly, “told em I was throwing up all morning and having bad stomach pain.”

Wooyoung laughed, smacking his back gently. The pair made their way to their spots at the barricade, they’d be so close to Hongjoong. Seonghwa was already feeling dizzy at the very thought of being noticed by his idol, possibly even getting an interaction to upload to his twitter page. Wooyoung gently tugged Seonghwa’s arm, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“Look! Yeosang is here!”

Seonghwa waved to his friend who was making his way through the crowd, his neon green hair very noticeable under the blue lights from the stage. Once Yeosang made it to them he bowed in apology,

“Sorry I’m late, manager was a bitch and a half today. He kept making me clean shit that didn’t need cleaned, I’m just glad we’re all off tomorrow cause I have a feeling we’re going to be carrying a melted Seonghwa out of here.”

Seonghwa rolled his eyes, reaching into his bag to pull out his light stick, placing the batteries inside.

“Please I think I can control myself around the Kim Hongjoong.”

Wooyoung laughed, looping his arm with his boyfriends.

“Sure ya can! We will see how well you hold up during this concert, if you can survive you can third wheel Yeosangie and I’s date to Disneyland.” , “deal!”

Yeosang shook his head at both of them, he knew they’d both be screaming and jumping up and down as soon as the idol stepped on stage. He’d known them both long enough to be able to read them like open book. Suddenly the lights went dark, the music starting up signaling the beginning of the show.

Seonghwa’s breath caught in his throat, his wide as he watched the stage come to life. The second Hongjoong stepped out onto the stage his heartbeat began to speed up, he looked absolutely stunning. Light pink hair styled to be slicked back, he wore a purple stage outfit, decorated with his own personal touches. It was so perfectly Hongjoong. The idol smiled as he looked over the crowd,

“Are you guys excited for the show! I see some familiar faces, and a few new ones! I hope those of you that are new to my shows have fun! And don’t forget please be aware of your surroundings, don’t wanna accidentally hit someone with a light stick and cause injury. Now without further ado let’s get the show started!”

Hongjoong’s voice was music to Seonghwa’s ears, his eyes already glued to the idol as the concert began. He’d be starting with Take Me Home, one of Seonghwa’s personal favorites.

As the show went on Seonghwa found himself more and more absorbed into the music, the stage sets, but most importantly Kim Hongjoong. It was getting close to the last song, and Hongjoong was making his rounds around the stage interacting with the fans. The idols pink hair was messy now, drenched with sweat; his outfit from before being changed into something more comfortable and causal. When Hongjoong reached Seonghwa’s section he stopped just in front of the long haired male, smiling and holding out his hand.

“Seonghwa! He wants your bracelet.” Wooyoung whispered excitedly.

Seonghwa had completely forgotten about the bracelet he’d made, holding it tightly in his hand the whole time. Smiling softly he placed it in the idols outstretched hand, their fingers gently brushing together sent electric shocks up Seonghwa’s spine. A deep pink blush settling on his cheeks. Hongjoong took the bracelet, slipping it onto his wrist and mouthing a ‘thank you’ before moving on.

“Oh my god-“

Seonghwa’s knees buckled, holding onto the barricade. There was no way that just happened!? He just touched Kim Hongjoong’s hand!? No way!?

“Holy shit he’s totally gonna keep your bracelet on during the last song Hwa! He’s never done that before, he’s not normally allowed to take gifts. I bet you’ll get it back at the end.”

Wooyoung was vibrating next to Yeosang who nodded in agreement.

“Who knows, maybe you’ll get lucky and he’ll forget.”

Seonghwa blushed and giggled, his eyes drifting back to his idol. Hongjoong was so effortlessly amazing, his voice, his performance. Seonghwa almost didn’t want this night to end, he finally got to be close and see his idol in person.

“Okay, it’s time for the last song! You know…I was going to sing Treasure but, I think I’ll sing Star 1117 instead.”

Seonghwa’s eyes went wide. His favorite song? He was going to perform his favorite song!? As the song started Seonghwa’s eyes remained on Hongjoong, who he could have swore at one point met his eyes back.

•

Once the concert was over Wooyoung stretched his arms above his head,

“Damn! That was awesome! What did you think Seonghwa!? You went dead silent after you gave him your bracelet.”

Seonghwa shook his head, snapping out of the trance he’d been in. He’d barely noticed the people around them had began to leave,

“It was..a dream come true! I just can’t believe he took my bracelet! Oh my gosh my mind is just playing it on loop, I touched his hand!”

Seonghwa squeaked excitedly, the trio began to leave the venue. A security guard approached them stopping the group, “excuse me, the artist has requested you.”

Wooyoung and Yeosang both looked towards Seonghwa, whose mouth was hanging open. Hongjoong wanted to see him!? What for? To return the bracelet?

“Me? Did he say why?”

The security guard shook his head, explaining the idol gave no details. Just instructions to bring the guy he got the bracelet from to return it in person.

“Well alright, I’ll catch up with you guys in the parking lot. This shouldn’t take long.”

Seonghwa followed the security guard backstage, his hands shaking a bit. He was going to talk to Hongjoong! Even if only for a few seconds to retrieve his bracelet, it would mean the world to him either was to get the opportunity. Heading backstage a familiar voice was heard,

“Look I really want to do this, please don’t interfere. I’ve already taken necessary steps to ensure both our safeties.” , “if you’re sure Hongjoong. You have an hour use it wisely.”

Who was Hongjoong talking to? The second the pink haired idol spotted him he waved, walking over with a piece of paper in his hand other than the bracelet. In fact, it still sat on his wrist.

“Hello! My name is Hongjoong, but you probably know that. I loved your bracelet, I just had to take it! Did you make it yourself?”

Seonghwa nodded, suddenly at a loss for words. What was he supposed to say to him!?

“I’m Seonghwa, and I’m glad you like the bracelet. I did make it myself, specifically for this concert.”

Hongjoong nodded, gesturing to a table nearby, “let’s sit. I want to talk to you about something.”

Seonghwa nodded, following the idol to the table. When they sat down Seonghwa finally caught a glimpse of what exactly that paper was, in bold letters it read ‘Nondisclosure agreement’ at the top. He was going to sign an NDA!? For what!? Hongjoong cleared his throat, leaning in a bit.

“So Seonghwa; I don’t do this, like ever. So I want you to really think about what I’m about to offer you, you’ve probably noticed by now that I have no intention of returning this bracelet to you. In fact, quite the opposite. I’ll get straight to the point, I’m an idol; but I’m also a young man with..urges. What I’m saying is, I want to have sex with you.”

Seonghwa choked on his own spit. He wanted to have sex with him!? Sex with his idol would normally only be jerk off material but now he had a chance to actually do it!? There had to be a reason Hongjoong chose him specifically, sure he wasn’t a virgin but this was the first time someone had been bold and asked for sex from him.

“Me!? Why me, I’m sure there’s tons of other guys for you to sleep with.”

Hongjoong snorted, pushing the paper towards Seonghwa. He had a flirty smile on his face,

“Because I think you’re attractive, I really like guys with long hair. Plus I want to thank you for this beautiful bracelet, who wouldn’t jump at the chance to have sex with their idol?”

Seonghwa thought about it for a moment, his friends wouldn’t know. He could just lie and say they got carried away chatting.

“Okay. I’ll do it.”

Hongjoong seemed pleased with that answer; handing him a pen.

“I do have my conditions, I’m trans you know that; but I’m uncomfortable having anal sex. So vaginal sex is what we’ll be doing, this means I expect you to use a condom regardless of if I’m able to get pregnant or not, I don’t like the way semen feels inside me. Secondly, no visible marks are to be left on my body. So no neck or shoulder marks, anywhere else is fine. And lastly, the reason you’re signing this paper; tell NO ONE you had sex with me.”

Seonghwa nodded, signing the paper before it was taken away and placed in an empty folder, the name on the folder read ‘Hongie’s Star’ a name that implied there might be more than Hongjoong was currently letting on. The idol stood, offering out his hand.

“Let’s go, we’re not having sex in some shitty venue, I already had my staff tell your friends we’d pay for an Uber for you to get home. We’re going to my hotel, and don’t worry. My staff will be absent the whole time we’re having sex.”

Seonghwa nodded, standing up and taking the idols hand. Suddenly Hongjoong leaned in, pressing his lips to Seonghwa’s in a heated kiss. Seonghwa made a noise of surprise before kissing Hongjoong back, his hands moving to the smaller man’s lower back. After a few seconds the kiss broke, Hongjoong licking his lips.

“Your lips are soft, can’t wait to feel them while you’re eating my pussy later.”

The two finally headed out of the venue, hand in hand. The night was about to get superstar hot.

•

Arriving at Hongjoong’s hotel made this all the more surreal, Seonghwa was really about to have a one night stand with his idol. The Kim Hongjoong!! The door to the hotel room clicked open, Hongjoong leading Seonghwa inside.

“Okay, now we’re alone. Is there anything you need me to do to make you feel more comfortable? Do you need a drink first? I’ll also treat you to a meal when we’re done.”

Seonghwa shook his head, moving into the room and joining Hongjoong on the bed. The two looking into each others eyes,

“I just want to make you feel good. That’s honestly all I need.”

Hongjoong blushed, clearing his throat before nodding.

“Okay, shall we undress? I haven’t had sex in years so I’m kinda rusty.”

Years!? Seonghwa hadn’t had sex in months, albeit his ex was no good in bed. Hongjoong seemed like he’d be good regardless.

“That’s okay, let me take the lead if you’re comfortable with that? You don’t really strike me as the type to be dominant.”

Seonghwa removed his shirt, watching as Hongjoong did the same. The idol wasn’t wearing a bra, small perky breast exposed the second his shirt came off. Seonghwa’s hands reached out, gently cupping the small mounds and squeezing them. Earning a moan from the idol.

“Feels good Seonghwa.”

His head tilted to the side, soft moans spilling past his lips. Straightening up quickly Hongjoong began to unbuckle Seonghwa’s belt, removing it and tossing it to the floor.

“Let’s get these pants off, I’m getting impatient.”

Seonghwa nodded, their hands fumbling with each other’s pants now that the mood had been set. They were like horny teenagers figuring out their bodies for the first time, Hongjoong successfully got Seonghwa’s pants and boxers off first.

“You’re big, wow. Wasn’t expecting you to have such a big dick.”

Hongjoong pushed Seonghwa back, removing his pants and panties the rest of the way himself. Seonghwa’s eyes were glued to his dripping cunt, licking his lips at the way his juices glistened against the bare folds.

“Want me to eat you out first?”

Seonghwa asked, watching the small idol with lust filled eyes. Hongjoong paused, then nodded.

“Yeah, that’s okay. Let me get comfortable.”

Hongjoong adjusted himself against the pillows, shyly spreading his legs. His cunt was flushed pink from blood pumping the the area, clit throbbing with need. Seonghwa lay between his legs, suddenly thankful he had experience with both men and women. His tongue ran over Hongjoong’s slit carefully, making the idol moan in pleasure; his fingers running through Seonghwa’s long hair and tugging on it.

“Fuck, that’s it.”

Seonghwa traced his clit with his tongue, bringing two fingers to press into Hongjoong’s cunt, working him open while sucking on the small pink bud. Hongjoong moaned beneath him; head falling to the side as his hips rolled up against Seonghwa’s mouth and fingers. It felt so good, to release tension like this after a concert, he’d have to have Seonghwa again if this went well.

Seonghwa’s fingers moved in and out of his pussy faster, the sucking on his clit intensifying with each pump of his long digits. Hongjoong was a moaning mess now, legs wrapped around Seonghwa’s next while his hands kept him in place. His orgasm was coming embarrassingly fast, he’d come from just a bit more.

“Gonna come Seonghwa!”

Seonghwa’s fingers moved faster; pushing the small male over the edge with a shout. His juices staining Seonghwa’s face as he came hard beneath him, legs shaking from the intensity of his orgasm. Seonghwa pulled back as soon as he was no longer trapped by Hongjoong’s trembling legs, the pink haired male sitting up.

“I haven’t…wow…who knew you could make me cum that fast!?”

He panted heavily, sitting up and motioning Seonghwa closer with a beckoning finger. Seonghwa obliged, making his way to the idol. The two leaned in, kissing each other fervently; lips and tongue fighting for dominance over each other. Hongjoong could taste his own release on Seonghwa’s mouth, humming at the taste the kiss broke after a bit.

“I want to suck your dick, I haven’t sucked anyone off before so please tell me if I do it wrong okay?”

Seonghwa nodded, getting comfortable in the same position Hongjoong was in only moments before. Hongjoong lay between Seonghwa’s legs, wrapping a small hand around his length and stroking it slowly. Seonghwa was big, bigger than he had initially expected. Nervously leaning forward he gave the tip a kitten lick, earning a well received moan from Seonghwa. Deciding to just go for it Hongjoong took his length into his mouth.

Seonghwa moaned in pleasure, his head falling back against the pillows. Hongjoong’s mouth felt amazing, his tongue was soft and wet wrapping around his shaft. It was a little hard to believe he’d never given a blowjob.

“That’s good. Doing good Hongjoong, good boy.”

Good boy. It went straight to Hongjoong’s cunt, making his legs clench and a whine to escape his lips. Bobbing his head up and down along Seonghwa’s shaft and stroking what he couldn’t fit in his mouth. Seonghwa was getting close, his stomach tightening in a familiar knot. Though he didn’t want to come, not like this.

“Hongjoong stop, I want to come while I’m inside you.”

Hongjoong pulled away, nodding slowly as he wiped excess spit off his mouth.

“Okay, let me…shit! I don’t have a condom.”

He cursed, noticing he’d forgotten to even grab a condom before coming into the hotel room. Shrugging his looked over at Seonghwa,

“Are you okay with raw sex? I’m on birth control, and testosterone makes it really hard to get pregnant.”

Seonghwa nodded, “raw sex is fine.”

The two switched places once more, Seonghwa kneeling between Hongjoong’s legs while the pink haired boy got comfortable in between the pillows.

“You can put it in, please.”

Seonghwa nodded, rubbing the tip against his folds a few times before sinking into him. Hongjoong cried out at the stretch, he’d never had anything bigger than his toy inside of him. The stretch and fullness of Seonghwa’s cock inside him had slick oozing out of his pussy.

“Move! Please, I need you to move!”

Seonghwa’s hips began to rock against his own, their hands holding each other tightly with each thrust in and out of Hongjoong’s tight pussy. Hongjoong’s head fell back loud moans spilling past his lips as their bodies continued to move in sync. Seonghwa let out soft grunts with each thrust, Hongjoong was so tight around him. Squeezing his shaft every time he pulled and pushed back in.

Hongjoong’s orgasm was quickly approaching again, his hand slipping between them to rub his clit in fast circles,

“I’m gonna come!” , “me too.”

Seonghwa grunted, gripping the idols hips tighter. It only took few more thrust before Seonghwa pulled out and came on Hongjoong’s tan stomach, the idol coming beneath him with a cry of pleasure. Seonghwa collapsed onto the bed beside Hongjoong, pulling him against his chest as they both came down from their highs.

“That was…wow..”

His long hair was a sweaty and tangled mess, Hongjoong’s soft pink locks were much the same. A bit of pink hair dye staining the white pillows where he’d been sweating.

“You were wow. I’m glad I decided to try this out. I don’t think I can take anyone else’s dick now yours was so good.”

Hongjoong cupped Seonghwa’s cheek, making him look at him.

“Can you hold me? We can eat after cuddles.”

Seonghwa nodded, holding his idol tightly. Even if it was only a temporary bliss, being able to hold Hongjoong in his arms while drawing invisible stars on his back made this evening such a beautiful dream. Hongjoong suddenly propped himself up,

“Hey…I really liked this, can we..do it again? Can I have your number?”

Seonghwa nodded,

“Later, just relax right now okay?”

Hongjoong blushed, leaning down and kissing Seonghwa’s plump lips. The kiss was different now, tender and sending sparks through their bodies. Perhaps this was only the beginning of something more the the fan and the idol. Something an NDA wouldn’t be able to protect.

#ateez #hongjoong #kpop #ateez fanfic #seonghwa #non canon #ateez matz #smut #ateez smut

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skayafair · 4 months

Text

DBD & VnC

When I watched the Dead Boy Detectives with its main 4 characters and their dynamics, I KNEW it reminded me of something. Thanks to Tumblr dashboard, I remembered!

Vanitas no Carte!

Same gender and sexuality fuckery, supernatural mysteries (ghosts vs. vampires tho), ambiguous complex relationship and nuanced psychology. Please don't watch the anime tho, it's bad, read the manga it's absolutely worth it.

I'LL ELABORATE (character parallels under the read more)

Edwin Payne & "Vanitas" Blue colour scheme

Ok let's be honest they would probably hate each other's guts but they really do have similarities.

The OG detective, the brains Vanitas calls himself a doctor but he solves mysteries first so shush

Gets bitches (unfortunately, like @ mapleleafsunset correctly noticed)

Went through severe physical torture and has Trauma (tm)

Magic user

Books

"What is love" (a.k.a. can be very dense and panic upon the realization)

Has a side that's considered traditionally feminine

Tsundere

Ego the size of a planet (at least Purple is sure of it)

Soulmates with Reddish

Deep personal relationship with Pink (deep friendship in Edwin and Niko's case and whatever Vanitas has going on with Jeanne because it's supposed to be romance but it's queer in the queerest way possible) vanijeanne haters dni

Charles Rawland & Noé Archviste Reddish colour scheme purplish magenta in Noe's case but I don't take criticism

Would totally get along and be an unstoppable force.

The brawn

Tan king

Golden retriever energy

ADHD (totally a headcanon of mine, although I'm 100% sure Noé has it)

Anger and violence issues (is working on it)

THE Sunshine

Loyal to no end (especially to the blue colour coded character)

Complicated relationship with father (figure)

"What is romantic love" (is genuinely confused)

Has complicated (sort of) romantic-ish relationship with Purple (Tell me what Charles has with Crystal? A fling? An infatuation? General attraction for so many reasons? Fell in love and came out of it as friends? All of the above and then some? I think they're inventing queer-romantic relationship as they go. And Noé certainly loves Domi with his whole heart but as a friend? Or not???? I'm so confused) I'm sure Noé's gay tho

Barely interacts with Pink but they're alike and are totally adorable and everyone'd like to see more of them together

Crystal Palace Surname-von Hoverkraft & Dominique de Sade Purple colour scheme (+yellow for Domi)

Their gossip potential really frightens me

The Bitch TM (affectionately)

Sort of a double personality (used to be VERY different until a certain point in the past)

Bisexual queen ok Domi may be a comphet lesbian we're yet to see this

Neglectful family (Domi has it better but only slightly)

Rich af

Has complicated (sort of) romantic-ish relationship with Reddish (Is Crystal in love? Is it just a general attraction? We'll see I hope. Domi is sure she's in love with Noé buuuut are we sure this isn't comphet and trauma bonding? I'm not sure. Hell if I'm sure about ANYTHING or ANYONE in ANY of these canons. Delish)

Tender and close relationship with Pink (We all remember Crystal's first reaction shut up sprites and Domi told she loves Jeanne ^_^)

Used to stare daggers at each other with Blue but eventually bonded over Reddish bitch drama queens who are too alike to get along right away (affectionate)

Niko Sasaki & Jeanne Pink colour scheme (+ yellow and red for Jeanne)

I'm afraid to think what Niko might teach Jeanne about love. They would have been A MENACE but a totally adorable one and everyone would just succumb to them no questions asked.

White hair

Charmes everyone the very instant they see her

THE Sunshine [2]

May play a very interesting and influential part in future (it's a mystery so far but is sort of foreshadowed)

SO CUTE sorry I had to

Has trauma related to a parent(s) loss

Comes off as naive but is actually more than meets the eye

Deep personal relationship with Blue (see above)

Tender and close relationship with Purple (do I have to say anything, and Jeanne said she loves Domi :3)

We almost never see them together with Reddish because the authors know we won't bear such an intense radiance and warmth :3

The way ALL the relationships are so fucking queer to the ground and complicated is the best part. Whoever calls Vnc "a queerbait" are probably the same type of people who call DBD the same. VnC also has A LOT of gender confusion and mixture, as an enby - 10/10 do recommend.

Also it's hilarious how both sources have two sets of characters where each male and female character has a "twin" counterpart and a "different" one, so it's really fun to mix and match the relationship.

Bonus: Tell me Jenny isn't similar with Olivier, I dare you. Even their weapons of choice are a meat cleaver vs. a chainsaw and they're both MESSY about it. Jenny needs a golden retriever girlfriend so bad.

#dead boy detectives #vanitas no carte #dbda #case study of vanitas #VnC

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chaosfantasmic · 10 months

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LINKS FANFIC INTRODUCTION IS HERE!!!😲😲😲😲😲👉*your gay*

well y'all polled it out, and here you. (Also if this is bad I'm sorry I'd pay for your therapy but I'm broke so🤷)

....

Oh of all times to get dumped into a new hyrule THIS was it? They had just been in the captains era and there were hoards of monsters as usual, what was up with that why the hell did he need so many? But point is, at the end of the fight wind had a VERY FUCKING BAD concussion, some bitchey bokoblin socked him the head, yknow but Hyrule would just give him a little red potion and he'd be alright the next morning. But NOOOOOO hylia had to be a fat fucking bitch and open a portal FROM UNDER THEM!? Ok that's inconvenient but at least they were all together, wrong, very shitting wrong, it just so happens that the very badly injured one (im talking about wind) did not come with them, so now they were in god knows what era, with no idea where wind is or weather or not he's still ALIVE, and worse of all it was NIGHTIME, so they couldn't go looking for him, which meant they were forced to set up camp while there injured brother was off somewhere in this place (cause god this hyrule was HUGE, like even wild agreed it was BIG), so yea, it wasn't looking to great.

.....

(WIND POV CHANGE WOOSH WOOSH TRANSITION TRANSITION😲🖕)

Where am I? Why is it....so..dark? Oh, it's nightime. What happened why-, oh yea, I remember now we were in wars hyrule fighting all the damn monsters there, and I got...hit..in the head with a bat..and I got a concussion and then a portal opened up and I'm here.

When the sailor sat upright his head immediately started throbbing like crazy, he clutched his head and groaned

"Annnd there's the concussion." Wind cursed

He grumbled, did he really have to get dropped all alone in the woods of god knows where at night, with a concussion might he add.

The forest was pitch black, either that or he was starting to hallucinate, the only sound was the hum of the crickets and the calm flow of a nearby river

But wind was anything but calm. His head was bleeding like a river and orange and purple spots started to cloud his vision.

Should he at least try to stand up? No no that's not a good idea, he could barley lift up his arm without nearly being exhausted.

"ok calm down wind, calm down, your brothers are here...somewhere, they'll Probobly find you....eventually...maybe....hopefully."

"They're not coming."

And that was when wind realised just how shitty his current situation was.

He could very well die if he didn't do something, which you really can't when your on the verge of passing out. Was he really going to die, no no he couldn't die, what about granny and aryll and the rest of his brothers, what would they think?

The sailor knew that there wasn't much time left before he lost consciousness, so he did the last thing he could think of, with the last of his strength, he shakily mouthed out

"Help."

....

(HEY! TRANSITION!, POV SWITCH BITCHES RAAAAA)

Well help did come

Out of the corner of Winds eye, he saw a small figure, standing amongst the trees, holding a....racoon? Ok he was definitely hallucinating now.

"Ok buddy, It looks like I have some business to attend to, you promise to visit me tomorrow ya?" The mysterious person spoke as they let the racoon jump out of there hands, letting it run off into the woods.

Wind couldn't make out there face, it was covered by a thick green hood.

The person walked up and crouched down beside him, eyeing his head, they grimaced

"Eesh, what creature did this to you?" They said

They shuffled around in there pocket before pulling out a wad of bandages and a thick rag, they set the rag on the spot where winds head was bleeding

"There that should soak up most of the blood-ICK! Gee when did i last wash this thing?"

The rest was a blur to wind, his vision had started to fail him, his ears started ringing, and everything was blurry. All he remembered was a bandage over his head, and the warm orange glow of a fire

"Don't worry, your ok." The person said softly as he drifted off into unconsciousnes

....

Heeeey you finished it, oh Majesty has something to tell you!

#legend of zelda #linked universe #funny #silly #lol idk what else to put here #lu warriors #oc #legend of zelda oc #lu time #lu wind #lu sky #lu wild #lu twilight #lu four #lu hyrule #lu legend

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ashenberry · 1 year

Text

GENERAL DGS2-3 SPOILERS TRED LIGHTLY

[ID: A collection of ms paint doodles featuring characters from the great ace attorney.

Image 1: Ryuu and Van Zieks are playing chess. There is a note pointing towards Van Zieks that reads, "doesnt know how hes losing to this chicken mcnobody" and a note pointing towards ryuu that reads, "honestly just cracked at chess"

Image 2: Ryuu and Iris, who is in her purple outfit, are looking at a portrait on the wall featuring Reigen Arataka from mob psycho 100. Iris comments, "damn this bitch ugly" to which ryuu follows up with "fr" Van zieks is seen below the portrait, furious.

Image 3: Ryuu and Iris are wide eyed looking down. Iris says, "oh my god he definitely murdered a guy" there is a note pointing towards ryuu and iris that says, "looking at a wine bottle" Van Zieks is standing behind them, unamused, with a note that reads, "literally standing right there"

Image 4: Sholmes giving a thumbs up saying ,"gregson would be a real hit in the gay community"

Image 5: A screenshot of Reigen Arataka from mob psycho 100 sitting politely with sholmes clothes drawn over him

Image 6: ryuu saying "HI SLUT" to the previously described image

Image 7: Iris gestures towards sholmes, who has both hands on his hips but looks worried, and says, "HEY RUNO WANNA SEE HOW HARD I CAN KICK THIS SHOLMES STATUE IN THE NUTS" there is a note pointing towards iris that says 'knowingly'

Image 8: Ryuu and Iris standing next to eachother making :3 faces

Image 9: Ryuu yells at sholmes, "STOP KINNING OUR MURDERER" while sholmes thinks of the strangler from spongebob

Image 10: Susato looks to the side and says, "I wonder where mr sholmes is" Sholmes is dancing in the background with a note that says, "breaking it down, as ne put it, "sexual style"

Image 11: Ryuu points ahead of him jaw dropped and says "IS THAT THE GRIM REAPER" Susato looks worriedly over and says, "we knew he was gonna be here???" in the upper right is a cut of doodle of bear ryuu and susato with the word "diggus" under it

Image 12: Ryuu dancing with the text, "lets dance mr slut"

Image 13: Susato dancing with the text "fuck it im gonna do my hail marry theory"

Image 14: Ryuu pointing towards a jpeg of Enoch drebber with the text "ok and? above. Ryuu says, "YES ITS OUTLANDISH BUT YOU KNOW WHO THE VICTIM IS AND ALSO LLOOK AT THEIR HAIR"

Image 15: The judge thinking, "damn these beasts loud!" with the jurors below

Image 16: Sholmes, crying, says, "none of you appreciate my catholic humor >:'("

Image 17: Sholmes is dumping a bucking with the word bleach on it and says, "i love bleaching the sea" gregson is running towards him from behind yelling "THATS HE THAMES U-" the rest is cut off but enough remains to tell it says "SON OF A BITCH"

end ID]

figured id post my dgs doodles from jeffs lets play

#dgs2 spoilers #tgaac spoilers #sketchin'#very long id but im not sorry there were a lot of images <3

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2manyflannels · 11 months

Note

2, 6, 9, and 10 for therion!!! (I hope I did this right)

OTP: Alfyn/Therion

I know. I know basic. They just hit !! Every travel banter they have together I’m giggling, kicking my feet, twirling my hair.

Also, it’s been said before and will be said again as trust issues vs trust too much, and how they balance

Chefs kiss

The way they care AHHHASVBHf;uiabegfdvhucj aferuwdjpsVCbh8pg9urjsdnuxj

(It also doesn’t help that they’re the most popular on AO3 so they have the most content)

BROTP: Therion and Primrose

Another pick that is a pretty lukewarm take. They’re besties

They are the most sassiest sardonic pessimistic bitches

They need each other in this group. Or they’ll be overwhelmed by all these sunshiney bitches

They’re the type of besties to check their nails while verbally destroying a bitch.

MLM/WLW s

Favorite Dynamic (s) (Not Necessarily the same as OTP or BROTP)

Besides the alfion and primrose dynamics I do like the general dynamic of the “PATH” travelers. They’re the disastrous double-date to the chaotic family road trip of the “OCTO” travelers.

Tressa and Therion are really funny to think about. They bicker, a lot. The natural rivalry of merchant/thief.

*to Heathcoat* “You can’t tell me what to do your not Olberic….AND OLBERIC’S NOT MY DAD”

My LGBTQ+ HCS:

uh that boy is

1) gay

2) trans (he/they)

(but we already knew that)

Random HC

Not to be a Debby-downer, but I do believe that he (like Phili) is a war orphan. I think that his parents died, and that's why he had to learn how to fend for himself so quickly.

General Opinion (I love all the main 8 dearly, but I will answer asks about side characters if prompted)

I love you bebee!

I love his arc.

Even though I knew it was coming I did gasp when Darius pushed him off the cliff.

I feel like he is one of the characters who would benefit from the concept of the travelers interacting with one another and discussing that outside of travel banter, as much as I like the Cordelia-Heathcoat trust, I don’t think that was enough for him to suddenly have faith in people again. I think the unwavering found family he hypothetically gained.

I get why he’s the most popular character in the fandom. He is a tragic edgy boy. The rough exterior soft interior somehow never gets old

–

Number asks!!!:

More people than he’d ever fucking expect y’know.

He is the type to care from a distance, but how he shows he cares is really meaningful.

Of course Cordelia and Heathcoat depended on him, and I think even after he returned the dragon stones, they stayed in contact and asked each other for aid time and again.

I think in a group of a lot of yes-men (Alfyn, Ophilia, Tressa, Cyrus) it’s really helpful (while not always appreciated) to have a loud and stubborn “No man”. (Trust issues suck but they do come in hand)

Also in The Travelers, I think everyone depends on everyone. No one is not doing their part in the group project y’know.

He had his purple scarf before Darius, which means it’s something he’s had for a long time. Possibly a remnant of their parents, or maybe the first thing besides food that they stole for himself.

They don’t. Therion is the type to feel emotions and then immediately repress them. He is a trainwreck of trauma repression, and I think it takes him a long time to feel comfortable expressing himself again, even after traveling with the octogang for a long time. He’s the type to have a bad day and punch a tree. I think once he gets some healthier coping mechanisms in him they’ll open up little by little, especially to Alfyn and Primrose.

10:

With one eye open. He is on guard. You know how people say that for some animals sleeping openly is a sign of trust. It’s the same for him. He stays on watch until he’s certain no one is up to stab him and run. When he does sleep, it’s rough. A single noise can wake him, and he has constant flashes of Darius, the cliff incident, and other people who’ve probably treated him horribly. It’s not a fun time until let’s say it together now “he gets healthier coping mechanisms”.

When he does gain a healthier sleep schedule, he sleeps more peacefully but is still a light sleeper and an early riser.

He also goes to bed later because anyone can tell you it’s easier to steal in the dark.

#thanks for the ask!!#this was so fun!!#thanks for reblogging to Bean #let's resurrect this fandom together #:)#therion octopath #also you did it perfectly right.#Thanks thanks thanks

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amaskofmyart · 2 years

Text

A lot of the early doodles of my Sonic stuff, you can tell I’m still trying to figure out the style as well as the characters. Let’s see-

1: This was right around the time I saw the second movie and my eight-year old heart was so excited by the end credit scene that I thought I’d make a proper oc for my favorite boy. But I did also have an old ass oc from the eight-year-old brain that I wanted to bring back and give her more of a story. To be fair, she was just originally Hannah Montana the Hedgehog, because for whatever reason I wanted to be her (then again who at that time didn’t?). At the time of this drawing I hadn’t really begun to flesh her out. Now, Nex is not a fox. He LOOKS like a fox, but is much taller than normal mobians and darker shades on his fur - he is a Maned Wolf. And a total gay disaster! Clara there is a really early design I tried for my brother (it’s his oc) but she has a updated (and much better) look now, so look forward to that!

2: While the details of their meeting are still iffy as I write them, Nex and Shadow meet while Nex is still under Eggman’s “care”. Nex has known about Shadow and the events of the ARK thanks to all the files that Eggman had on them, and while he read every detail he could he couldn’t help but feel bad for those involved. He wonders what kind of person Maria would have been if not for her untimely death, if her disease could have been cured with the aid of Project SHADOW, and the ultimate life form himself! It must have been terrible to have your whole world ripped out from under you like some sort of circus act. Imagine his surprise when Eggman, his self-appointed new father, suddenly brings the very ultimate life form that Nex had spent many obsessive grief-filled nights over to their base! If only he wasn’t so socially inept perhaps he could… befriend him. (Or maybe date him or whateva lmao)

3: Hannah and Sonic are best buds. Hannah herself is a very famous singer, going all around Mobius preforming songs to breath hope and determination into the fearful citizens! She respects Sonic as the saviour of the world, but also knows just how fucking uncomfortable it is to be fawned over every waking minute - so she just treats him like a regular dude and in turn he does the same. Together they just get to be normal kids, doing whatever they feel like at the time, and if Robotnik comes out of nowhere to fuck them up their Speed-Power combo has most botniks out of commission in seconds! The purple one is Anti-Hannah, that’s right baby Anti-Mobius is a thing in my weird fucked up world because goddamn it I love the little fucked up versions (please no one tell Man Blenders (iykyk) about this). She’s Hannah’s opposite (duh) and is all in all a rude ass bitch. More on her later I suppose.

4: Nex is a genius. He was raised (if you can call it that) by Eggman, taken under his wing as a potential prodigy. The only problem, Nex hated Eggman. In his defense, Eggman had wiped out the entire Maned Wolf tribe Nex was apart of just because he was having a bad day - the only reason Nex was spared was because he showed great promise of ingenuity and brilliance at the young age of three - enough it reminded Eggman of himself and decided to spare the Maned Wolf and take him on as a son. Nex however never wanted to be his son, but knew that if he ever acted out, he would kill the young Nex without a second thought. Also Hannah has some real bad family trauma, more on that later as well.

5: Yin is one of two, and since her brother isn’t here I won’t go into to much detail about her just yet. But look forward to it ;-)

6: Hannah and Miley (Anti-Hannah) are both singers in their world, I imagine Hannah is more likely to sing songs like “Nobody’s Perfect” and uplifting shit like that whereas Miley is a total slut and will totally sing shit like “Gimme More” or “Radar”.

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musicfeedsmysoul12 · 2 years

Text

IZMS: The Social Media Experience 1 Part 4

Summary: Across a universe, various social media posts come from a group of siblings and their friends. It tells the story of a young boy and his family, a young boy who will one day become a symbol of hope. AKA: Izuku's dad sucks, he's got a lot of siblings and he likes to tease them online.

ON AO3

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Idiot Siblings Chat

Shin-Shin-Shin: So. We have another sibling.

Circus Freak: Knew it! Though this raises questions.

Fan Boy Extreme: Why?

Circus Freak: He’s my age. Meaning father dearest cheated.

Shin-Shin-Shin: no surprise given why Mary divorced him.

Circus Freak: the mom duo warned her.

Fan Boy Extreme: who is it? Will he be added here? Or is it a ‘no one will know’ thing?

Shin-Shin-Shin: It’s Hawks. Hes currently having a small break down in the bathroom. I’m sitting here very awkwardly with Nara and Hawks PR. And a Commission Agent who looks like his life is flashing before his eyes.

Fan Boy Extreme: probably due to the fact Hawks is thought to be the son of a criminal and like people KNOW that the commission has some sort of dirt on him.

Circus Freak: how did you know the first?

Fan Boy Extreme: look at my name.

Circus Freak: Right. Well… cool! Another brother! Oh god! Imagine father dearest learning 😂

Fan Boy Extreme: given Hawks is openly gay? HA.

Circus Freak: YOU AIN’T GOT ANY STRAIGHT SONS YOU LIKE BITCH!

Fan Boy Extreme: NOPE!

Circus Freak: “I must have a legacy and have many children to reproduce and repopulate the planet!”

Fan Boy Extreme: “And they must be how I envision them! Heterosexual, cisgender and perfect!”

Circus Freak: Ends up with an intersex older kid, a childfree daughter, a bisexual son, a gay son and how many other daughters?! HA!!!

Fan Boy Extreme: Oh you guys official decided?

Circus Freak: Yeah. Don’t get me wrong: I love kids. But to much shit in my life to have them. Dabi only would want one to fuck with his dad.

New User Added!

Shin-Shin-Shin: oh wow didn’t think of that. HA. Serves him right.

14589003000: Hello?

Circus Freak: Oh! New sibling

Name Changed!

Red Feathers: Thanks?

Circus Freak: We’ll come up with something better later, don’t worry.

Shin-Shin-Shin: He should always worry with you.

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Kamui Woods @KamuiWoodsOffical

Today is the day! [Picture of Kamui in his uniform. Next to him is a green haired boy making a face at the camera. He has freckles and green eyes. Next to him is a girl with long green hair that looks like vines, smiling. Both are dressed in casual clothes.]

Kamui Woods @KamuiWoodsOffical

My cousin was invited to give @FatgumHeroOffical’s little sister another girl around!

BIG EATER @FatgumHeroOffical

WE’RE READY! [Picture of Fatgum in his hero uniform, beaming with an arm flexed. Sitting on the arm is a pretty teenager with long dark hair, looking shy but happy]

Gang Orca @GangOrcaOffical

On our way! [Picture of Gang Orca in his uniform, a hand on the shoulder of a purple haired teenager in casual clothes, scowling at the camera]

Best Jeanist @BestJeanistHeroOffical

Already at the area, making sure no paparazzi are around. [Picture of Best Jeanist, posing dramatically. A blond haired teen is next to him, mimicking the pose with a wide grin]

Ingenium @IngeniumOffical

Racing there! [Picture of Ingenium in full armour, a tall blue haired teen next to him with glasses, the teen smiling slightly.]

Space Princess @alleyOOPS

Here to watch and laugh! [Picture of a blacked bobbed haired woman with freckles, a pair of sunglasses low on the bridge of her nose, one eye winking. Next to her is a black haired man with heavy scaring, piercings looking like they were holding his flesh together. Behind them it’s obvious it’s Kamui and Izuku, both looking exhausted]

Analysts are Valid! @jumpbunny

You’re awful. I can’t believe you flew here for this.

-0-

The ADULT (probably) Chat

Gordon Hana: five minutes in and they’re fighting. Shinny owes me a beer.

Kamui Woods: how did you guess?!

Gang Orca: Indeed. I thought it would be ten minutes.

Ingenium: ? You knew they’d fight?!

Gordon Hana: some light cyber stalking. Found Gang Orca’s following list, found Shinsou on said list. Looked through it: kid has a few issues. Mostly the emo “no one else understands” kind.

Gang Orca: he’s aware how much discrimination mutations face but he hasn’t really conceptualized others do to. His father thought it was due to his Quirk. I got my sister to agree for therapy because Hitoshi needs to learn how to be sympathetic at least, and I actually doubt it is. Seems like a cop out to blame it on Quirks.

Best Jeanist: a case of bias? Unable to understand others suffer to?

Ingenium: Oh hell Tenya just got dragged in trying to stop it.

Fatgum: Momo and Shiozaki seem to be just… watching and waiting.

Gordon Dabi: Ibara once saw Izuku outright demolish a guy’s entire outlook on life and then give him an entire new way of it.

Kamui Woods: Give him time and Shinsou is gonna have a very different outlook.

Best Jeanist: oh dear, Neito got invovled.

Fatgum:… oh hell did…

Gang Orca: fucking hell Hitoshi

Gordon Hana: GO MOMO AND IBARA!

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Bubblegum POP @hereismycheese

I just saw all of the heroes during their meet-up ignore the kids brawling and now the kids are best friends?!? What?!?

Bubblegum POP @hereismycheese

Also the girls outright PILEDRIVED one of the boys. It was kinda glorious. But seriously: what?!?

Kamui Woods @KamuiWoodsOffical

Long story short: My baby brother takes issues to people being dumb and being insulting.

Gang Orca @GangOrcaOffical

And my nephew needs to learn to watch what he says because people will get offended. At least it looks resolved… mostly.

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The Legacy Kids

Shinsou: Apologies again.

Yaoyorozu: You don’t need to keep apologizing. Just be better.

Midoriya: Agreed.

Iida: I must concur.

Monoma: Let’s move on: is anyone taking the offer to do a recommendation for UA?

Yaoyorozu: Yes. I feel more comfortable doing this in a more closed setting. With my Quirk I’ll be revealing a lot of skin.

Midoriya: There’s clothes that use DNA? Would this work for you?

Yaoyorozu: Sadly no. I produce the items FROM my body, and it ends up absorbing the fabric when I do. It doesn’t just leave my body. So I end up having to make more fabric, causing me to lose energy quicker.

Shiozkai: Would a sports bra and shorts work then? It doesn’t add much protection…

Yaoyorozu: I was going to just leave it to the designers…

Midoriya: Ah! Don’t!

Shinsou: Bad idea. I’ve heard HORROR stories from my uncle about that.

Midoriya: Shin has an ex who is a hero and she told me about requesting her costume and the fact they gave her something that was basically a bikini due to her skin being impenetrable.

Yaoyorozu: Ah.

Midoriya: Yeah. I say focus on making sure your back/arms/thighs and maaaaaybe stomach is accessible. And eat more ngl.

Yaoyorozu: Before Taishiro helped our mother with custody I was living with my father. He was very… particular how women should look. I’m attempting to eat more but it is difficult on how to adjust.

Midoriya: fathers suck.

Monoma: My father isn’t bad.

Shinsou: You’d be the only one from what I guess from the rest of us. Mine is a creep (moms divorcing him), Midoriya’s told us about his, Shiozaki made a face when hers got brought up and Iida is apparently in custody of his brother.

Iida: Ah correct. My mother isn’t as bad and is in therapy but my father… best left unsaid correct.

Midoriya: I’m changing the chat name.

Chat Name Has Been Changed!

Monoma: Daddy Issues?

Yaoyorozu: It is… somewhat appropriate.

Midoriya: Exactly. So- I’m not taking the recommendation exam. I want to get in on my own as an extra fuck you to the haters.

Shiozaki: Language.

Midoriya:… I can’t use my usual rebuttal! Damn it.

Shiozaki: 😇

-0-

Mom: Izuku, I got a text from Shinji? Saying you’d text him SOS?

Izuku: I ran into Mitsuki.

Mom: what?!

Izuku: yeah. I… I don’t know. It’s kinda hard to explain…

Mom: come home baby, we’ll talk.

-0-

AITA for not forgiving an old friend compared to my brother?

GreenMightBoy

I, 14M, have faced a lot of bullying from my brother and an old friend or well, the son of my mother’s old friend. It’s based on Quirk status from the friend and for my brother there’s a lot of family stuff going on. For instance: Our dad is a populationist, homophobic and prejudiced against like… a lot of stuff. My brother who is intersex got a lot of shit from our dad because of the fact he wasn’t normal, plus he was infertile and our dad didn’t like his Quirk to much which is stupid cause it’s awesome. I meanwhile am male. (My brother prefers male pronouns and being called he/a guy/so on). Due to this my brother picked on me a lot. I was the result of my dad’s third marriage, and my brother is from the first one. His mom died and he ended up staying with his stepmom, my dad’s seond ex-wife.

For simplicity, I’ll call her SMom cause she helped raise me along with my mom after my dad divorced her for not being able to have more children after me.

My brother wasn’t nice. He said mean things, stole my toys, talked down to me, told me my dreams of being a hero were stupid. He was about 10 when I was born. (Our sister was 8 and she came from SMom). I was like four when I was told I would never be a hero from the doctor and my brother decided to be a hero to spite me. He honestly hadn’t been sold on the idea but apparently my despair inspired him. (SMom does remember grounding him for some comments during this time she said were really shitty.)

When I was six, he was sixteen and things changed. According to my brother I managed to help him a lot with his Quirk (I don’t actually know how cause it was really simple to understand). He began being kinder and nicer to me. My brother really changed, got better and really repented for what happened. Up to when he was eighteen and learned I was being bullied by my friend and honestly by the whole school he willingly entered a contract that bound him to an agency that would basically keep him unable to become a hero until he was like 24 just to afford a new school for me. At the time I didn’t get it because to me the same stuff my brother did was like my friend. However as I got older, went to a school where my brother’s cousin on his mom’s side went to as well, and got therapy I realized that… my brother was a jackass but he wasn’t as bad as my friend.

My friend… frankly the more I think about it the more I think my friend never actually was a friend. I have a vivid memory of him taunting me at age three for not being able to skip rocks like him and another memory of him giving me a name that basically means ‘useless or good for nothing’ also at three before my doctor decided due to my Quirk I could not be a hero.

When we were about five he started using his Quirk on me. Without saying much, it’s a fire based Quirk and I got some burns. Most teachers brushed it off as boys being boys, scolded him and that was that. However the school was also apathetic to me due to my status and I began being bullied by everyone because my friend was going to be the next number one hero, I was the useless freak. My therapist thinks I internalized it.

My brother caught my friend hurting me and it led to us being seperated. I was sent to a new school and put into therapy. It helped a lot, more so when I made actual friends. My friend though lived near me and kept tormenting me, even using his Quirk on me still. My cousin (brother’s but she’d my cousin now to as per her) would protect me when she could as she liked to walk home with me since we now went to the same school and she felt she should. We’d avoid them but still I got a lot of burns. My brother ended up arresting the kid and his friends after years of warnings when we turned 12. That was when I saw his mom after all these years. I didn’t know why my mom stopped talking to her until then, when I discovered that she had outright denied what he kid did, saying it had to be roughhousing. Apparently she knew he had a bad attitude but not everything. My mom dropped her and SMom blocked her when she wouldn’t back down.

We ended up moving after this. My mom was dating her girlfriend at the time (now wife). We moved in with her due to the relationship progressing far enough. I was then put into a really good middle school. I never saw the friend again after that.

Why did I bring this up? It’s cause I saw my friend’s mom a week ago and she said hi. We talked a bit, before she told me that her son was doing better and she was sorry. I basically went: okay? And she asked about forgiveness. I said I wasn’t going to forgive him. She was shocked and asked why and I told her because he was really bad and coming from her the apology didn’t mean much. She then asked about my brother and how I forgave him. (She found out through a third party)

In my mind, my brother was much less of a bully. Sure he called me names, treated me badly and stole toys but he never hurt me like the old friend. Maybe my brother was way older when he bullied me but he also smartened up quicker and has been making amends for what he did. My friend though just tormented me. And he hasn’t apologized at all. I told her this and she became angry. Said that it didn’t matter because she spoke for him and he was sorry. I said no it did and I wouldn’t believe it until he said it. She got angrier and asked why I couldn’t just forgive. I walked away then. She came after me, shouting she knew I’d gotten into a fight with someone else and forgave them. I told her a single comment that ends in a fight is NOTHING to what her son did. She got mad and would have started screaming if it wasn’t for a police officer to walk over asking what was going on. I took my leave quickly.

My cousin says forgiveness is divine but also imparted on me that he did not do so in person, and that ‘we are not divine. Forgiveness is healing but if you cannot heal yet do not try so now’. However a few friends at school told me I’d been a bit of a hypocrite and a bit of an asshole. My brother was way older and should have known better, why am I holding a grudge against a kid my age?

So, AITA?

Comments:

SecretNotebook

Bro, you’re NTA. She had no right to ask that- mom already TOLD you.

PolkaDotAfro

I’m telling Mama. She’s gonna rip the woman apart little bro.

SupaPowah

NTA. It’s your brother VS someone not related to you. SO NTA.

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The Grown Up Idiot Kids (and spouse)

Woody: I swear I’m going to go villain and it will be the Bakugou family's fault.

Exhibitionist: I’m your alibi.

To Fast: I’m… what’s going on? And can I change this name?

Danger Kink: 1- go ahead. Hana gave it to you as a joke but she’ll be good about letting you change it.

Name has Been Changed

Hawks: Thank you.

Exhibitionist: Sorry. I thought it’d be funny. Tell me to fuck off if I push. (You’re keeping a silly name for the other chat though.)

Hawks: I’m fine with the other chat. I just don’t feel comfortable having this sort of stuff on my phone.

Name has Been Changed!

Watch Me Fall: Sorry!

Burn B*tch: This alright?

Hawks: Ah… yes thank you.

Burn B*tch: welcome. And anyway: 2- the Bakugou family is a long ass story for Izuku and Inko. I think I have the whole notes somewhere on my phone.

Woody: you actually saved it?!? I was nineteen when I made that PowerPoint!

Burn B*tch: yes. Yes I did. Here, given you all like to comment I’ll go point by point.

Burn B*tch: 1) Bakugou Mitsuki and Inko used to be a thing. I’m 90% sure Mitsuki still has the hots for Inko cause when she was around she made a lot of comments.

Watch Me Fall: TRUE! I saw her at a recent show and she came right up to me asking about Inko, wondering how she was, if she was still dating, and I quote “That younger woman? The flighty one?” I was happy to tell her they are married.

Woody: UGH.

Hawks: That’s… bad.

Watch Me Fall: She looked like she was about to cry. I feel bad for Masaru.

Woody: I hate to blame the victim but like Masaru knew Mitsuki liked Inko. He was there when they dated and he had to know she still had feelings for Inko. We all know their marriage is a Quirk marriage anyway.

Hawks: wait what?!

Watch Me Fall: We don’t actually know. It’s just very convenient that a woman with a glycerin sweat quirk married a guy with an explosive sweat quirk and got a kid like Katsuki with nitro-glycerin like sweat which he can set off on purpose.

Woody: They say it was a business marriage and we just have to accept it.

Watch Me Fall: “it’s illegal” ha yeah right. They just go sneakier. Exhibit A) Dabi’s asshole dad

Burn B*tch: agreed. But this leads to point 2) Mitsuki was very upset about the fact Inko found someone else after meeting the deadbeat known as Hisashi. Exhibit A to Z are the video, letters and recorded texts Inko kept in a lock box. Most were asking her what she was thinking, if Inko thought about it, offers for a threesome or an affair.

Hawks: wait, your step-mom kept this?

Watch Me Fall: Yep. I asked her earlier after she called to warn me about Mitsuki seeing Izuku given I have a show during some fashion thing Mitsuki is going to. She actually told me: it creeped me out a bit so I kept it in case I needed a record for the police.

Hawks: but she never did? Isn’t this evidence Mitsuki still likes her?!

Woody: You’d think but according to her when we asked, Mitsuki stopped after a few months. We don’t know why she let it go on or stayed friends. I think father dearest was a trash fire who fucked with her head.

Watch Me Fall: let’s be real- Inko wasn’t actually that mentally okay. She had issues mama had to make her go to therapy for. So she didn’t have boundaries.

Woody: true.

Burn B*tch: point 3) When Izuku was born Mitsuki tried to basically coparent. Father dearest hated her so she wasn’t allowed over a lot before and after the pregnancy until the divorce when Izuku was three months.

Burn B*tch: point 4) after the divorce went though, Janet made sure to come around with the older kids so Izuku could have siblings and to help Inko. Mitsuki hated this and kept making comments about Katsuki being Izuku’s brother/twin. She tried to use the anger Shinji had to make us leave.

Woody: Thank god Janet wouldn't do it.

Hawks: question: you call your stepmoms by their names?

Woody: I had a mom. She’s dead but when I was a kid I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t call anyone else her name. Father dearest HATED it. Wanted a perfect family.

Watch Me Fall: So we stuck to it!

Burn B*tch: Point 5) Katsuki began bullying Izuku at age 3. He began calling him ‘Deku’ as in ‘Dekunobu’ which frankly is disturbing to hear from a child that young. Bets are he heard Mitsuki say it.

Watch Me Fall: I still don’t think so. I say Masaru. Mitsuki LOVES Izuku. I think she views him as her own child with Inko in a really weird ass way. Masaru though? Fucker totally said it.

Woody: I say Mitsuki. She may love Izuku but he was a huge obstacle in ‘wooing Inko’ given Inko wouldn’t want to destroy a family with her own kid. Also don’t you like him?

Watch Me Fall: Feeling bad for the guy or not, he doesn’t like Izuku for taking Mitsuki’s attention. Masaru is in love with her, and hates that Mituski would totally divorce him and run off with Inko taking Katsuki and Izuku to be a happy family if she could.

Hawks: this sounds like a soap opera.

Burn B*tch: oh it gets worse. Point 6) Bakugou upon Izuku’s diagnosis gets meaner. Later begins to actively use his explosive Quirk on Izuku. Unknown when this started but Izuku has a burn on his back that’s old.

Hawks: seriously?!? What about the school?!

Watch Me Fall: Quirkist. Trust me that school is a shit hole. Or was. We sued it out of existence.

Woody: It was nasty.

Burn B*tch: Point 7) Mitsuki denied her son being a bully and refused to believe ANYONE when she was given evidence. Masaru backed her up. “He’s got an attitude but isn’t a bad kid!”

Hawks: how?

Watch Me Fall: I asked Inko. She said Mitsuki had a really bad home life and outright REFUSED to be like her parents. So she spoiled the shit out of Katsuki and refused to believe he did wrong cause ‘kids aren’t good or bad they’re just kids’

Burn B*tch: she probably got blamed for a lot of shit she didn’t do and ended up internalizing it. I know my brother did. Though he’s more anal about checking facts.

Woody: Wait, are you in contact?

Burn B*tch: fuck no. Natsuo wasn’t part of that shit but I’ve got no interest in contacting any of them. I just know cause Hana stalked them.

Watch Me Fall: Light cyber stalking! Figuring out their Reddit profiles was easy. Natsuo posts a lot of shit about his issues.

Hawks: your family Dabi?

Burn B*tch: I’m not spilling when your phone is probably tapped. Point 8) Mitsuki harassed Inko for years trying to get back in touch. Upon learning Inko was dating a younger woman began to complain on social media about gold diggers and people taking advantage of naive moms.

Watch Me Fall: Point 9) I never want to hack another computer again you scarred me for LIFE.

Woody: Seriously? It was one question you didn’t need to hack her.

Watch Me Fall: I had to figure out how fucking weird Mitsuki was with Inko! And seeing that shit scarred me.

Hawks: So I need to know?

Watch Me Fall: lots of weird-ass mommy kink stuff mixed with a lot of ‘woman showing naive woman how to love’ stuff. Inko sure as hell ain’t naive. She’s a nurse and gave me the talk. And Dabi to.

Burn B*tch: She gave me it because she figured I wasn’t taking care of my scars properly after sex.

Woody: she gave me the talk. Plus she works with the WWP now as a nurse. Says it’s: kinda the same as in the city. More nature oriented. Woman has seen some shit.

Hawks: so… she has an image of uhh Inko and likes to think everything will happen like her fantasy?

Woody: probably.

Burn B*tch: point 10) has been added by me and Hana: The bullying continued despite them being separated. Shinji ran Katsuki and his friends off as much as he could but eventually ended up arresting them when it was legal. This seemed to shake Mitsuki and Masaru up enough Mitsuki stopped harassing us.

Watch Me Fall: But she’s back now! Yay. Not.

Burn B*tch: and point 11) Katsuki told Izuku to jump off a roof and pray for a Quirk in the next life when he was 12. Izuku came home crying. This was TWO years ago.

Watch Me Fall: Bet Mitsuki will go on about how it was two years ago not realizing that REALLY isn’t that long ago lady.

Woody: in fairness people can change in two years. But trauma doesn’t go away that easily. You can’t expect everything to just be swept under the rug because one person has changed.

Hawks: You guys have these debates a lot huh?

Watch Me Fall: Basically? I’m a circus performer in a circus where probably like 65% of them are former villains who went into hiding/gave up crime and the rest have a checkered past to. Some things are unforgivable.

Burn B*tch: Some of us have to deep of scars to ever forgive people who hurt us.

Woody: Not fully spitefully. But just… sometimes there’s something inside us that is broken.

Hawks: oh…

-0-

Kamui Woods: Hey, Hawks you alright? You got quiet in the chat.

Hawks: just thinking. What if they had a good reason for hurting me?

Kamui Woods: the only good reason to hurt someone is to save their life. Even then you’re allowed to be angry at it.

Hawks: what if it was to make me stronger?

Kamui Woods: that’s a shit ass reason.

Hawks: that fast?

Kamui Woods: look: hurting ANYONE to make them stronger is an abusive idea. People don’t get strong because someone hurt them. They get strong because they chose to be. Chose to stand tall and be strong. My dad being a cunt didn’t make me strong. I made myself strong.

Hawks: But they trained me! Made me a hero!

Kamui Woods: no you did that yourself. Something like 50% of kids who were abused become criminals. That’s a 1 in 2 chance. You became a hero yourself Hawks. No one else did that.

Hawks: I was trained by the Commission to be a hero.

Kamui Woods: and most of them are assholes who let Dabi get abused by his pro-hero dad. No really ask him he’ll give you a list.

Hawks: and if the dad’s changed?!?

Kamui Woods: doesn’t mean he didn’t do it. You can’t just rug sweep and pretend it didn’t happen because he changed. We talked about forgiveness earlier: forgiving doesn’t absolve people of their sins.

Hawks: Things we’re simpler when I just worked all the time.

Kamui Woods: I’m not saying sorry for sicing Janet on your contract. That thing was highly illegal and I’m already telling the agents in the know of Dabi’s eventual reveal so they can nab the assholes who did that to.

Hawks:… thanks.

Kamui Woods: welcome.

-0-

Hawks @itsabirdnamedhawks

I’ve only learned I had siblings for about two weeks and already I’m being babied.

Kamui Woods @KamuiWoodsOffical

I’m the older brother it’s my job.

Space Princess @alleyOOPS

Just wait: we’ll find out we have another sibling and they’ll be older.

Kamui Woods @KamuiWoodsOffical

No I earned the title of older sibling for you gremlins. I get to keep it.

Apple @yourdailyfruit

HAWKS AND KAMUI ARE SIBLINGS WTF IS THIS FAMILY?!

Manga Dream @anastasia-dragic

Highly fucked, that’s what this family is. Now, shush and enjoy the show.

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-I realized I’d set myself a timeline here given I said Dabi turned 24 a day before last chapter. So this chapter takes place over two weeks. Making it February in this AU. It takes place when Izuku is 14 so right at the beginning of the manga. Given that January/February is when most high school entrance exams happen I’m saying this right here is about a month or so before canon.

-Yes, in this AU Kamui is intersex and it’s a huge reason Hisashi dislikes him. Plus he’s infertile. So despite Kamui identifying as male and being straight, Hisashi doesn’t like him. At all.

-Hawks was fun to add here. He’s very confused by his new family, while also being lost at learning his dad isn’t the shitty criminal he thought! Still a horrible father!!

-Shiozaki being Kamui’s cousin was suggested on tumblr and I ran with it. I know how mostly portray her but my mind is: she’s very religious but she will also feed you to her plants if you hurt ANY of her family or friends. She’s very accepting to not in a: I’ll pray for you to change way but as in: god created you the way you are and I love you as you, no matter gender identity or sexuality.

-I love Shinsou. I also love him getting his ass kicked to get his head on straight so we did both here. For those wondering he was being a dumbass teenage boy and said some sexist shit that the girls DID not like.

-The ‘rebuttal’ Izuku refers to is ‘suck a cock’. Ibara is pretty chill with foul language here. She doesn’t like it being called anything nasty, but she’s fine with cursing. It started as a joke after these two got a hold of Deadpool. I have an entire long ass headcanon for it.

-The AITA but was way to fun. Comments are welcome to respond as if you’re actually commenting on it!

-Hana and Dabi are little shits but neither push a boundary like that. That’s gross.

-I made this to fucking dramatic but god I don’t regret it. I honestly was going to stick to oblivious Mitsuki and Masaru but thought of this instead!!! Couldn’t resist it.

-I made a tiktok about the Bakugou parents and I’m 90% sure it was a Quirk marriage ngl.

#bnha #bnha au #izms #izuku's many siblings #boku no hero academia #mha #mha au #is all of this reasonable? no #but it's fun as fuck

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