#i knew i didnt trust their tracking of how many days they had to wait

[riotbeankai]

after over 3 years of managing to avoid it, I tested positive for covid yesterday. literally 3 days after I got my covid booster, so it may be that I got exposed ON the day I got the booster 🙃 but idk if I got it from work or the pharmacy or dinner with family or what so that's fun. I'd been wearing a mask (except to eat) since coming home from a work convention until I could be sure I didn't catch anything there, so hopefully I didn't expose too many people ☹️🤧

[peterrparrkerr]

Gaslighting - read on ao3

Tagging: @snowstark @someonepostedart @thegreenmetblue @sinditia @just-things-things @andacheesyoneliner @lokitonypeter @bluestarker @lilcoffeecup @useless-fanfictions-for-mcu @tnpt

Peter isn't spiderman in this fic, but Tony is Ironman.

*-*

"Tony?" Peter calls, walking down the stairs and into the lab.

"Yes, baby?" Tony answers, lifting his head up from his project to smile at the boy.

"Dinner's ready," he said softly. "I tried to call you earlier but you must've been busy."

Tony steps away from the work bench and pulls Peter towards the stairs again when he saw the curious glint in the boy's eyes.

"I was, I'm sorry, baby. What are we having?"

Peter's Bambi brown eyes flicker up to Tony's, the question momentarily side tracking him from voicing his questions on what Tony was working on.

Peter wouldn't approve, Tony knew. Best to keep him out of it for as long as possible.

"Uh, chicken alfredo, with broccoli and garlic bread," Peter said, leaning into Tony as they both took the stairs up to the main floor.

"Sounds wonderful," Tony smirked, pressing a kiss to Peter's temple before sitting him, then himself at the already set table.

*-*

"What are you working on?" Peter asked, padding over on bare feet. A yawn pulls his mouth open as he rubs at his half lidded eyes.

"Nothing important, baby," Tony hums, closing the lid on the small sample.

"If it wasn't important you'd be in bed with me," Peter pouted. Tony chuckles and steps over to him, making sure -again- that Peter won't get too close.

"You're right," Tony nodded, wrapping his arms around the younger man and kissing his pouty lips. "Lets go to bed, hmm?"

Peter nods sleepily and allows Tony to walk him back up the stairs.

He waits until Peter's fast asleep before returning to the lab. Hes so close to finishing, he can get it done tonight if he focuses.

*-*

"Tony, please, harder," Peter cries, back arching, exposing his neck. Tony snaps his hips in harder, giving the boy just what he's wanted.

Ever since the test, Tony's gotten more energy. He's gotten stronger. Its made their sex all the better.

His next round of shots is in a day. He can feel his whole body changing on a molecular level.

He's more connected with the endo-sym than he ever thought possible.

Peter cums on a wail, and Tony's not far behind, burying himself to the hilt as he fills Peter up.

The two lay beside each other, panting and sweaty.

"What happened to your eyes?" Peter asked softly, turning his head to look at Tony.

"What do you mean, baby?"

"They, flashed," Peter tried, stilted with an effort to find the right word. "I swear for a second they turned blue."

Tony lets out a huff of laughter, turning his head to look back at the boy.

"Must've been a trick of the light," he mused, pulling Peter close, even as the younger scowled in confusion.

"Are you sure?" He asked, lithe form pressed against Tony's more athletic build. If Tony wanted to, he was sure he'd be able to snap the boy in half with his bare hands.

Instead, he nuzzled against Peter's jaw, kissing his skin.

"I've never seen the light do that before."

"Theres nothing wrong with my eyes, baby."

*-*

"What is that?" Peter asked, eyes wide. Tony glances up, inwardly cursing. He didnt realize the boy had made his way down into the lab.

"Its something new," Tony said, deciding it best not to avoid it any longer. The boy was already getting too curious. If Tony didn't give him something, Peter would either leave, or find out for himself.

Tony reaches for Peter and the boy walks into his hold, letting Tony pull him in close and wrap his arms around him.

"Its called endo-sym," Tony hummed. "Its an armor."

"For the ironman?" Peter asked, brown eyes shining with the shifting reflective silver.

Its in a small chamber, vacuum sealed shut so it doesn't get out. Tony's got a problem linking with it still, and doesn't want so many months of hard work going down the drain if the thing decides to leave.

"For something better," Tony said softly. Peter frowned and glanced up at him, pouting slightly.

"What is it?" He asked. "What does it do?"

The endo-sym jumps at the rim of the chamber before falling back down like the waves of a storm. Angry and restless.

"It works like the nanotech from my last suit," Tony lied. "This is just- a smoother version."

"It looks alive," Peter said softly, leaning closer to see through the clear lid. The endo-sym jumped up, sensing a human close by, and Peter jumped back, right into Tony's chest.

"Its not," Tony lied. Peter doesn't look like he believes him, but Tony's not worried about it. He just needs the boy ignorant for a little while longer.

*-*

Tony's expecting the boy to freak out. Expecting it and already ready to explain. The endo-sym is nearly finished. The last injection of Extremis taken the night before, and Tony's eyes are bright blue.

Theres no hiding them from the boy. He wakes up first and makes his way down to the kitchen, making coffee and heating up some leftovers for breakfast.

Peter pads into the room a short time after Tony's second cup of coffee, wearing his tshirt and nothing else, curls a mess on top of his head.

"Good morning," Tony hummed. Peter's too sleepy to pick up on the change as he accepts Tony's coffee.

He barely looks at Tony as he brings the half mug of coffee to his lips and takes a sip.

Tony leans against the counter, waiting for the inevitable. It happens when Peter lowers his mug and finally looks up at him.

He gasped, eyes widening and promptly dropped the mug of coffee.

Neither of them were fast enough to catch it and it shatters on the tile floor, spilling the still hot coffee over his bare feet.

"Tony!" He exclaims. Tony steps towards the boy, glass cracking under his shoes, and he quickly lifts Peter off his feet by his underarms.

"Stay here," Tony orders after setting the boy onto the counter.

"Tony, your eyes are blue!" Peter exclaimed, as Tony crouched down to pick up the glass from the floor.

"They're contacts," Tony hummed, dropping a handful into the trash can before picking up the smaller pieces.

"Those aren't contacts," Peter scoffed. "How did this happen- what caused it-"

"Stay," Tony ordered, glaring up at the boy when Peter moved to jump down again.

The blue eyes really must be shocking, because Peter stills, eyes still wide and breath hitching.

"Tony, please," he says softly, tears beginning to well in those pretty brown eyes. "You have to tell me."

Tony doesn't say anything, just dumps another palmful of glass into the trash before standing and grabbing the paper towel.

"Please," Peter continued, voice wavering. "You've been lying to me for months. You- you're hiding things from me and- and I can't-"

A wet sob cuts Peter off, and Tony looks up from soaking up the coffee spill to see the boy with his hands over his eyes, scrubbing away the flow of tears as he tries to calm himself down.

Tony sighs and stands up, stepping between Peter's knees and grabbing his chin.

He tilts it up, forcing Peter to uncover his face, which is growing splotchy with his tears. His breath hitches on his inhales, and Tony leans in to kiss him softly on pouty lips.

"Do you trust me, baby?" Tony asked, making sure Peter looks him in the eyes.

The boy sniffles and nods, lower lip trembling and body sagging towards the older.

"Then trust that me keeping things from you does not lessen my love for you," Tony said.

"But-"

"No buts," Tony interrupted, wiping the tears from the boy's cheeks. "You don't need to know everything I do, sweetheart. You'll know when I want you to know."

And with that, he crouches down again and continues to soak up the last of the coffee spill.

Above him, Peter continues to cry, face hidden in his arms to muffle the tears and sniffles. He doesn't move though, which is all Tony cares about.

[my-own-oracle]

Could I get a fluffy Drift romantic Valentine thingy?

Of course! Every bot deserves some love. You didn't specify any specific version of Drift, so I'm going with the MTMTE version. If you wanted RID15 or something else, just let me know. Sorry, this kinda got long; I've been without power for the majority of 3 days, this was one of the few things I could to do.

You still kept track of the days that passed on Earth. At first, it was for your own amusement. Wanting to keep track of the time on Earth, but as some holidays came and went, you kept track to keep the connection to your home alive. You kept track of the calendar changes, making a special note when you entered the month of February

You planned, quietly and carefully, gathering spare datapads and using your little stash of credits to purchase a small gift for a particular bot. It was hard keeping the whole thing a secret, considering most of the things you had to hide away were significantly larger than you, but by the power of pure determination, you managed. 

You spent hours locked away in your hab-unit, carefully typing out cheesy Valentine's poems for your friends. Most following the 'roses are red, and violets are blue' format. And when they were done, you beamed. 

You spent the day dragging different data pads around to other bots. Tailgate had even decided to help you for a while, flying you around on his hoverboard, laughing and talking with you as you made your way through the large ship. Even with his help, the event took up most of the day. Slowly everything was handed out. All but one Valentine remained. 

You bid a farewell to Tailgate as he dropped you off at your hab-unit. You had to do this delivery alone. 

This was the Valentine that mattered the most.

**** Drift had spent most of the day with Rodimus, talking about everything from different tactical plans to the many ways the Co-captain could encourage and rally his mechs with a more powerful aura. Or at least Rodimus pretended to listen to that last part. Either way, Drift had spent several hours with his friend. During that time, the spectralist had spied an unusual sight, a datapad in Rodimus' personal quarters. "Did someone slip that in here when you weren't looking?" Rodimus laughed good-naturedly before shaking his helm.

"No, the Space Cadet dropped it off. She's celebrating an earth holiday today and is passing out some gifts to bots she thinks will appreciate them. Rodimus passed the datapad over to Drift, letting him read the short poem written on it.

"Roses are red, And you are too. I am so thankful, To be friends with you." 

Drift found himself smiling as he reads the blurb of text below it, where you explained Valentine's day and its significance to humans in your own culture. 

"So this day is used to express love and gratitude to those around you?" Drift clarified, smiling a little wider as Rodimus nodded.

"She told me humans also use this day as an excuse to express more romantic kinds of love too."

A feeling of jealousy settled in his tanks. 

"(Y/N)- she is truly a wonderful person. Did she pass out many of these?" 

"She had a large stack. You'll probably have one waiting for you in your room," A servo pushed into drifts shoulder plating.

"I doubt that we-" he calms his spark before speaking again. "We may be friends, but we hardly spend time alone together. I think she's frightened of me."

"Uhhh I-"

"She must have learned about some of the things in my past. She can hardly look at me in the optics when we're together, and if we are alone, she can't speak. I fear that I may be terrifying to be around.."

"Okay…. Have you ever thought that maybe your being," Rodumis rolled his optics, "I don't know, a little overdramatic?" 

Drift pondered the thought. But no matter how he looked at it, the hesitant gaze, the fidgeting when together, the quietness she only had around him, all signs pointed to her fearing him.

"Drift, please, don't make me be the responsible one. It goes against my entire being." 

Silence lapsed again.

"I am not spelling this out for you," Rodimus stood, pulling Drift to his peds and shoving him out the door. "Come back when you're done being a sparkling. Go talk to her," the door shut, leaving Drift to walk back to his hab-unit.

****

You could feel your heart racing under your ribs. Thundering with each step you took, leading you to pause every few meters. 'This is so stupid. I can't do this.' you told yourself for the hundredth time. 

"You alright there, Space Cadet?" you snapped your head behind you, spying Rodimus standing maybe a few feet away. When had he snuck up on you?

"I'm fine, just lost in my head." you face back towards Drifts unit, your confidence waning with each passing second.

"Is that another one of those valentines?" Rodimus squatted down to you your level, a servo reaching out to the special datapad you had placed on the hall floor. 

"No," you dashed in front of his hand. "Nothing of interest, really. It's just like the one I gave to you and everybody else."

"And I suppose the box next to it is nothing too," you took a large step to the right, standing between the white and red wrapped box you had next to the Data-pad, before sharing a small, shy smile with the co-captain.

"It's- it's nothing." your voice was softer than you wanted it to be. The smug look on Rodimus' face told you he didn't buy it. "I wanted to give a gift to someone, and if I was on Earth, I would give a special someone candy. I found out Cybertronians can eat energon candies, and I bought a crystal of it as a gift. But it's stupid. He probably won't like it anyways." 

You sunk your head closer to your shoulders. "Just giving him a poem and a piece of candy isn't going to make someone like him notice me." Your fingers worked at the hem of your shirt, rolling the worn material as a means to work out the lump you felt forming in your throat.

Rodimus held his servo out to you, a silent invitation to 'climb up' as he so often said. You took it, settling down into his palm. You watched as he carefully gathered your measly gift into his other servo and began walking in the direction you needed to go.

"So, you like this mech, and you're worried he doesn't like you." You nod. "Who is it?"

"I'd rather not say."

"It's not Ultra Magnus, is it?" You snap a playful glare at your friend. "I just needed to know, I'd still support you, but I won't be thrilled."

"No, it's not Magnus." you heard his vent of relief. Thundering footsteps filled the hall as Rodimus carried you farther a small way.

"so…"

"It- I, Drift," you whispered. "It's for Drift." You were thankful Rodimus didn't outright laugh. He did his best to stay composed. You could feel it in the way his digits curled for a moment, him gasping for air as he tried to talk.

"You think, he- you dont realize-" giggles filled the space between each attempted sentence.

"Yes, I like Drift. Go on, get it out. The little silly human is in love with a bot who probably couldn't care less, who's so far out of her league it's embarrassing." The lump in your throat returned, this time accompanied by a burning feeling behind your eyes. You took a few calming breaths, refusing to cry in such a frustrating situation.

"Oh stars, you're hopeless." Rodimus was smiling, oblivious to your emotional turmoil or not caring about it. "Trust me," he lifted you level with his politics, "He'll be thrilled."

***** Drift sat in his hab-unit, wondering how he could use this Valentine's day thing to his advantage. Find a way to earn some positive affection, and talk to you.

He was coming up blank; you were beloved. There was no way you would give up your time to talk to a bot who terrified you. If only he knew a way to quell your fear and maybe show that he wasn't such a bad bot. Drift heard his door open but didn't turn from his desk. His EM field told him it was Rodimus. 

"Yo." Rodimus walks over to Drift, and before he can turn, his friend grips the closest servo to him. Drift feels you more than sees you, as you're practically tossed into his servo. His optics widen monetarily, and he throws his other servo around you, desperately trying to keep you from falling.

You have his full attention, so much so that the sound of Rodimus putting your gift down on Drift's desk before walking out hardly registers in his audials. Rodimus' smug "You'll thank me later" rings aloud and as the door slides shut behind him.

Drift cautiously checks you over for injuries.  Slowly you roll over, sitting up and trying to look up into Drift's optics. 

Your eyes can barely go past his chassis.

"Are you alright?" Drift questions. His optics take over you again, first your body, then your aura.  

"Hi Drift, I'm alright" you raise your hand in a little wave,  you sound a little frightened, and he watches as your body tenses. "I'm sorry for-uh- barging in like this. But I wanted to bring you a valentines gift." you waved your hand to the small offering on the desk beside him. "It's been delivered, so I'll stop bothering you now, I'm so sorry to have-"

"You are not bothering me," he smiles down at you. You're nervous; that much is plain to see.  He turns his attention to your gift. While the box interests him, he takes the datapad first. 

"Roses are red, And you are kind. I hold you in my heart, always on my mind."

He watches from the corner of his optics as you become red, the color complimenting the flustered pink in your aura. 

"The poem is beautiful," he smiles, but you don't look at him in the optic. He puts down the pad and reaches for the box. The lid removes easily, and he is touched by the piece of energon candy you had inside. 

"Thank you for my gifts, though I will say I'm surprised you gave me one," your eyes snapped to his optics wide and hurt.

"Why, you're my friend." Your question was soft, so quiet should he had been organic, he wouldn't have heard it. 

"You're frightened of me, so I didnt think you would take the time to make me a gift."

"I'm not frightened of you," your hand reached our reassuringly to one of the digits around you, "What gave you that impression?"

Drift listed the clues he had gathered over the few months you'd been aboard, noting that with each one, a look of guilt took form over your face.

"Drift- I-I am not afraid of you," you stood abruptly, hopping from his hand to his desk "do you know what valentine's day is all about on earth?" 

"It's about showing your affection to those in your life," your smile made his spark hum. It was soft, there was fear, but he focused in closer and saw in your aura; it wasn't a fear of him.

"Correct, but only half correct. It's also about telling people who don't know you lo-" you took a breath. "Some humans use this day to confess their love for another person." He could see the struggle you had to keep your eyes at his optics. "Those things I did, the ones that made you think I was scared of you, I did them because I was nervous. I really like you Drift, I would go as far as to say love, but I'm frightened at what you'll do, what you'll think." 

He brought his servo to you again, two digits brushing your cheek and your hair. "If I were human, and it was Valentine's day, what should I do to quell your fears? How am I supposed to respond if I feel the same way about you?" 

You leaned into his digits, your body relaxing from a tension he hadn't realized you had been holding in.

"You just did."

[wizardcommune]

gundham sfw alphabet

pairing - gundham tanaka x gn!reader

warnings - none!!

word count - 1.8k

a/n - FUCK YEAH GUNDHAM (also i apologize, i got lazy near the end)

a = affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

in the beginning of the relationship, he would definitely be very hesitant to show physical or verbal affection since it wasn’t something he was used to. he’d show his love with acts of service and giving, most likely. (giving his s/o one of the devas if he knew they’d be separated for a short period of time, bringing them small trinkets he found like pretty rocks or bones, helping them with homework, etc.)

as time goes on, though, he’d become more comfortable with showing physical affection and would grow to become a huge cuddle bug!!! please hug him for me

b = best friend (what would they be like as a best friend?)

literally the coolest friend ever. especially if you had an alternative fashion sense, he’d be so down to go clothes shopping with you LMAO

if you were okay initiating physical affection outside of a romantic relationship, and were able to make him comfortable with that, he’d totally be That Friend who cuddles with you all the time!! he’d never mention it though, and would die on impact if you brought it up in front of any of his other friends/classmates

c = cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

once he’s comfortable with it, yeah! he’s definitely super touch starved because of him not having friends most of his life, so having someone to cuddle would make his brain go ^^^^^

honestly, he’s good with any position so it’s up to his s/o. he prefers being able to see their face, though

the first time he ever cuddled with them he cried :(( shh don’t tell anyone though

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

man that’s his DREAM!! the idea of just getting to live with his s/o + animals makes his serotonin machine go BRR

honestly, i think he would fucking suck at cooking. baking, however. :))

because of having to clean up after his animals and keep things out of their way, he would naturally be a pretty neat person out of habit!! i don’t think he’d mind too much if his s/o was messy though.

e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

I DIDNT DO THIS ONE BECAUSE IT MADE ME SAD IM SORRY

f = fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

gundham already sets up so many walls, and for his s/o to be able to break those down would already mean he’d be willing to commit. i don’t think he would ever just like.... date random people for funsies, so being in a romantic relationship with someone is already so big to him.

honestly, i can’t see him being the type to want to get married. he’d definitely want to settle down! but the idea of having a traditional wedding stresses him out. (of course, that doesn’t mean he’d be any less committed :))

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

dealing with small animals like the devas has left him gentle by nature!! he doesn’t even notice it, but he is always extremely careful with his s/o with the subconscious fear of accidentally hurting them/scaring them off :(

emotion wise, i think it’d be the same. when he cares about someone (whether it be romantic or platonic) he’s always cautious of teasing them too much since he knows that it can hurt sometimes. 

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

HE FUCKINGNF LOVES HUGS

they’re probably SO good too, like he’s the type to give those hugs that make you feel so safe. full on wraps his arms completely around you and rests his head on yours if you’re shorter (since he’d such a fucking giraffe my god)

i = i love you (how fast do they say the L-word?)

it would definitely take a while for gundham to admit it. i can see him saying it on accident, like when he thinks you’re sleeping or not paying attention to him. he’d also need a lot of reassurance afterwards, just because of that initial fear of rejection

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?)

if he sees someone flirting with his s/o and they’re uncomfortable, he’ll immediately wrap an arm around their shoulder.

“they said they’re taken, respect that knave.”

sometimes he does get insecure that’s he’s too much for his s/o, considering he’s an evil tyrant, and that they might want to leave him for someone who’s..... not an evil tyrant.... (once again, please give him a hug)

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

like i said before, he’s very gentle when it comes to affection so his kisses are vv soft!! he’ll always hold their chin or one of their hands.

his favorite places to kiss his s/o are probably their forehead and hands!!

he loves being kissed everywhere, but he really likes neck kisses and any kisses around his face :^)

l = little ones (How are they around children?)

he’s great with kids!! he’d tell them stories of how he defeated different warlocks that tried to test him, or giant manticores he tamed.

i think he’d really like kids too, mostly because they’re so easy to impress LMAO

it inflates his ego a little bit whenever one gets really into one of his stories

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

if he wakes up before his s/o, he’d gently pull them into a hug while he waits for them to wake up (sobbing)

morning voice morning voice morning voice morning voice morning v

he memorized how his s/o likes their tea/coffee and will make it really groggily HAHA

n = night (how are nights spent with them?)

okokok hear me out

i think that gundham is a really good singer, so he would 100% sing u to sleep

he’d be embarrassed as hell though LMAOO

he’d probably cuddle them before they fall asleep and talk about each other’s days or just random stuff until they get tired

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

i think a few months into their friendship? he would talk about his childhood randomly, but would prefer if they don’t make a huge deal about it.

he’d open up more if his s/o did first! he would take it as they trust him enough to talk about it.

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

it depends on the person! with someone like hiyoko, he can get pissed pretty quickly, but his patience is VERY thick with his s/o. generally, it takes a lot to anger him. 

that being said, if they put themself in danger he would get ticked off out of fear.

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

especially in the beginning of their relationship when he was hesitant about physical/verbal affection, he would focus heavily on listening to them. he really wanted to show them that he respects them a lot, and remembering small things they mentioned would convey that well.

r = remember (what is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

after coming out of the shower, he walked in to see them asleep on his couch with the devas curled up on top of their chest. he went to go lay down with them and it just kind of.. hit him. that he wasn’t alone anymore and they loved and were there for him. :( 

s = security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

he’s very protective!! (especially if you’re in the killing game) the thought of something happening to you is his worst fear. 

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

ALL THE EFFORT

if his s/o asks him to do something in passing, you BET he’s gonna make sure he does his best

he keeps track of anniversaries/important dates religiously because he’s terrified of accidentally forgetting LMAO

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

sometimes i think he might come off as cold when embarrassed because his persona is so important to him, but if they expressed being upset he would backtrack SO fast

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

not very much?? like, i think he would brag about his hair or something sometimes but he’s always joking LMAO

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

yes and no? if something ever happened to his s/o, he would feel horribly empty for a time. but i also think that being in a relationship could help him not feel so lonely and teach him better ways to take care of himself, so if they were to ever split he would be able to heal after he got over the initial sadness.

x = xtra (a random headcanon for them.)

he’s a Mitski Understander (TM) his favorite songs are crack baby, pink in the night, and i bet on losing dogs, i’m up for debate

and yes i absolutely will be making a gundham playlist

i don’t know if this counts since i’m 90% projecting, but i hc him as trans and ND so like. solidarity if you are too wink wonk

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

a/n - just so everyone knows, i honestly think every character would be fine with any type of person since projecting is so important to a lot of us. these are just my personal headcanons, and if they don’t apply to you please don’t take it personally!! <3

i think he would really want a kind s/o. especially with what he’s been through, someone who’s gentle/patient would mean the world to him

also someone who likes animals!! they mean so much to him and were basically his entire life until he met the others, so having someone who shared that interest would make him so happy

z = zzz (what is a sleep habits of theirs?)

it’s not uncommon for him to sleep with his animals!! he mostly just sleeps with the devas though; he would probably place them near his head or on his chest so he wouldn’t accidentally roll on them.

he also really likes cuddling with his s/o when they sleep! he wouldn’t mind being the big or little spoon, either.

[suupernovalight]

Addictive Drug

Ushijima W. x Reader

Masterlist || Next

1) A “Models” Desire

Ushijima ran out of the abandoned facility and ran towards a black Porsche. The car was dark enough to be hidden in the shadows.

“Drive Satori” Ushijima said while getting out his gun.

Tendō, his work partner and all time close friend sighed and stepped on the gas. The car swerved left to right.

“Wakatoshi, calm down, I think we lost them” Tendō said as he slowed down the cars speed.

“Clam down? You kidding me? I almost died back there.” Ushijima said burying his face into his hands. “I didn’t know the bastard had a sidekick.”

Tendō slightly chuckled. “Looks like we have to add him to the radar. Did you at least put the tracking device anywhere?”

Ushijima cursed under his breath. “Nope, the fucker blew it up before I could do anything. Damn it, I failed the mission bad... didn’t I?” He said looking up from his hands.

“Well it is true that you failed...” Tendō started. He watched as his friends eyes dropped into a more stressed out look. “I don’t think anything bad will happen to you. Trust.”

Ushijima sighed and rolled down his window for some fresh air. “Trust...”

At The Agency

A man with a neat beard and dark shades stood and looked out his office window. He watched as the night sky was dark and only the lights of the buildings around shined.

“It was a mission failure... was it” the boss said looking at his two successors right before him.

“Sir- I can explain” Ushijima said walking towards the bosses desk. His eyes filled with desperation.

Though the boss just put his palm up, telling Ushijima to stop talking. “Explain what? There’s no use anyways, the mission is already a failure.”

Ushijima sighed and looked at Tendō who also looked stressed out now. Their boss was one strict man, a man who could ruin your career with the snap of his fingers.

“I’ve gotten a report that the big drug dealer has a sidekick? Did you see his features?” The boss asked Ushijima.

Ushijima tried remembering from what happened a few hours before.

Flashback

“Listen Waka, be careful... anything could happen” Tendō said over the radio Ushijima had on hand.

“I know that Satori...” Ushijima looked around in the dark facility. All around were metal pipes scattered. There were also unusual left over bullets.

Suddenly, Ushijima felt something click behind him. The click was followed by the back of his head being touched by something. He knew he was in a dead situation.

“What are you doing here~” someone unfamiliar said while chuckling a bit. “Didnt you read the sign? “No Trespassing” the guy said gripping his gun more.

Ushijima slowly dropped his own gun and raised his hands into the air. This showed the unfamiliar person that he was unarmed, for now.

“Who are you?” Ushijima asked.

The guy behind him started laughing. After laughing for a few, the guy stopped. “I’m not spitting it out to someone who’s part of Japan’s Defense Force.”

Ushijima’s eyes widened a bit.

“Don’t think I don’t know. I may not know you personally but it’s pretty obvious why you are here. So what will it be?~” the guy said getting closer to shooting the gun.

“Be what?” Ushijima said quickly turning around and grabbing the guys wrist. The gun was now out of line of Ushijima’s body.

“Tch” the guy said trying to fight back.

Ushijima grabbed the guys head and slammed it to the concrete ground. He could see the blood seeping out slowly. The gun was already out of the guys reach.

“What will it be?” Ushijima mocked while pinning the guy.

The guy who was pinned to the ground did nothing but laugh. Every laugh started to get louder, and louder. Ushijima was honestly disturbed a bit.

“Now or never... boss” the guy said.

At the corner of Ushijima’s eyes, he saw someone appear from out of the shadows. He quickly unpinned the guy he was on and started running while grabbing the gun he got.

While running, Ushijima took a close eye of who he was pinning. Brown hair... black eyes... noticible scar across his eye.

Flashback End

“Brown hair. Black Eyes. Has a scar across his eye” Ushijima said snapping back into reality.

The boss tapped his fingers on his desk and sat down on his chair. He then grabbed his phone and pressed a few buttons.

A Mansion Not To Far Away

A girl laid on her bed while being surrounded by money. Her face wasn’t in a happy expression though.

Suddenly, her room echoed with the sound of her phone ringing. The girl let it ring for a few then picked it up.

“Assassin y/n?” The person said from the other line.

You yawned and looked at your nails. “Wrong number sorry”. You were about to hang up but the other line had a different plan.

“Japan’s Defense Force, the boss of this place. You cannot hang up, I’ve locked that” the other line said.

You sighed at this guys determination. “What’s up.”

~~~

“He seriously is gonna hire someone?” Tendō said drinking his champagne. “Wonder how that’s gonna work out”

Ushijima and Tendō were at a bar just relaxing. After a horrible fail, the boss decided to give the boys some break time.

“It all seems useless, we can do it ourselves... even if it takes awhile.” Ushijima mumbled out the last part.

Tendō seemed to notice so he grabbed a drink for his friend and clinked both glasses.

“Don’t worry, maybe this will pay off. The boss did tell us that she’s one of the most dangerous woman in Japan. I’m sure she’s our level, maybe even higher”

Ushijima blinked a few times, then drank his drink. “Isn’t she an assassin? That’s what the boss said right?”

Tendō nodded. “He also said she works as a model to cover her identity”

“A model...” Ushijima repeated.

The Next Day

Ushijima and Tendō walked up to a building. There were many cars around and a lot of good looking people.

“Look at this magazine, ‘A Model’s Desire’, so weird” Tendō mocked.

At the corner of his eye, Tendō could see someone putting a hand on his shoulder. She wore a green coat with a black skirt.

“Watch it, you don’t know who you’re mocking” the girl said walking away with a smile.

Tendō’s eyes widened, he felt his whole body tense up at the moment. Even his friend noticed.

“Who was that just now?” Ushijima asked his friend.

Tendō quickly looked at the magazine, then at Ushijima. “Don’t know... that creeped me out though.”

After a few minutes of stalling, the boys went into the building to go find the assassin girl their boss was talking about.

When walking in, they seen many people posing for their photo to be taken. Many did weird poses. Both Tendō and Ushijima kinda felt uncomfortable.

“Satori, look” Ushijima pointed at a girl far away from the people.

When Tendō looked, it was the same girl who told him to “watch it”. Ushijima got out his phone and read the discription of the most dangerous woman in Japan.

“It’s her. That’s the lady.” Ushijima said walking towards her.

Tendō quickly grabbed his arm and pulled him back. “Not so fast, it looks like she’s about to take photos. Let’s stall a bit to pass time”

Ushijima reluctantly agreed to stall and followed Tendō to the side where they could get a better look of the lady.

While waiting, Tendō sighed. “That’s her motto here.”

Ushijima looked at his friend in confusion. “What?”

Tendō then showed him the magazine. There showed the girl they were looking for.

“That’s her motto... A Model’s Desire.”

[r0sebutch]

more entities love martin because i said so and i think he deserves some powers now

martin can have a little powers. as a treat.

namely, since the web was the first to lay claim to him, hes got some bitchin web powers

yes, our dear martin is naturally silver-tongued, but maybe people find him just a bit easier to believe than they should

he would never do this on purpose! he doesnt know its happening and just thinks that he’s gotten more convincing bc of being around annabelle

this especially helps him in his role as Supernatural Mediator for all the spooky scary eldritch fear entities

nikola and jude are fighting jared because wax vs. meat? hey, please calm down, my apartment is a safe place, no fighting in here.

michael and mike are fighting bc war of the michaels? hey, names arent real and neither are we, so be polite or i wont get you those cinnamon biscuits you both like

etc. etc. being able to pull people a lil towards calmness and peace makes mediating soooo much easier!!!

annabelle is the first to be aware of his powers. he accidentally nudged her a lil when he was trying to stop her and jude from fistfighting in a denny’s parking lot and she was like “wait huh?”

she lets the others know and now that theyre looking they can kinda notice it and theyre worried!

does martin know? when did this happen? if he knows, why is he only using it to soothe interpersonal conflicts?

they realize that there’s no way martin knows he’s doing this, because he’s martin and he would never use eldritch fear powers for personal gain

annabelle calls up the mother of puppets all like “hey is something up with martin?” and the web takes a hit and goes “yea lol i gave him sick ass powers” and annabelle is like “cool cool cool good to know” and tells the others

at first, many of them are furious at the web for giving martin powers that he never asked for or wanted. he would be so upset if he knew!

theyre furious with annabelle. she was the first of them to meet him, the first to take him under her wing, and that makes her responsible for whatever eldritch effects she’s had on him.

but.... the web chose to give him these powers. annabelle may serve the mother, but she is not her. she didnt do this to him.

and........ even if he’d be upset............. they have been talking about how he needs to be able to protect himself

and if he can nudge people towards not wanting to hurt him, then that’s some pretty good protection right there

they decide its a good thing that he has some powers, at least. they also decide not to tell him.

its not that they think he would use them if he knew! its quite the opposite, really: they think he would feel terrible and end up hurting himself trying NOT to use them if he knew.

so they just........ wont tell him.

and if he calms them a bit too easily in fights, they make a little note of it. they keep track of that, just like they keep track of how many vitamins he gets, because they want him to be healthy and to feel good

and if you starve the eldritch fear entity powering you, you feel the starvation more than it does.

they’re not okay with martin starving, even if its spookily rather than physically. they super arent okay with martin figuring out why he’s starving and then letting it happen because he feels bad.

if they have to deal with a teensy bit of manipulation to let martin not starve, then they’re fine with that? they love him and want him to be happy and healthy

at some point, though, he does figure it out. maybe he subconsciously nudges jon and gets called out on it because archivist knows when hes being manipulated, or maybe he doesnt have control and pushes someone a bit too far and notices on his own.

either way, when he finds out, he’s distraught. he tells his family, and they react with significantly less shock than he’d thought they would

he figures out that they knew. when he asks why they didnt tell him, they explain. they were scared he would feel bad, or try not to feed it and end up hurting himself, and they arent okay with him hurting himself.

hes frustrated and sad and scared and he just. shuts down. he spends days catatonic, curled in a little ball. his family, monsters they may be, were supposed to be his haven. the people he could trust above all others.

and they hadnt told him.

they cannot comfort him. they cannot get him to come back to himself. when he sleeps, he does not dream. when he wakes, he does not see.

but after a couple days, the web takes notice. she reaches out to him, tries to soothe him, offers to take away his powers

he asks her if she can give him more control over the powers, instead. he doesnt want to be manipulating people subconsciously, but he wants to be able to soothe conflict if it might end up hurting people

she agrees, and he gets up and applogizes to his family

they apologize more profusely, over and over, covering him in hugs and kisses once he signals that he’s okay with physical contact right now

big family apology and forgiveness time :)

martin gets to be happy and accepted and loved AND he gets bitchin web powers :)

[imyourmumloser]

Trash to Treasure - Eisuke Ichinomiya x reader

Chapter 3

Chapter 1 2 4

It felt like days since I had first arrived in the fancy room yet the ticking clock on the wall said otherwise. The bodyguard was busy typing away on a laptop with furrowed brows. He would spare a glance at me every now and again but otherwise his sight stayed glued to the screen.

In the few hours I had been here two other men had shown up. The tense atmosphere didnt hold up for long with them around as they greeted me in the least serious way possible and joked around with each other while introducing themselves.

"Sor, I didnt think I'd ever find you alone with a pretty lady like this," the one in a red jacket said while nudging him slightly before turning to me. "You can call me Baba, pretty lady," he beamed with a wink. He was definitely a strange man and I didnt hesitate to move away slightly as I eyed him suspiciously. The small gesture of discomfort caused the other man to laugh at Baba as he pouted in rejection. However, it didnt take him long to recover and move closer to me.

"So what do you see in Sor then?" he questioned me while wiggling my eyebrows. Thankfully, I didnt have to reply before Sor dragged him away from me and out of the room with the other man. I couldn't help but silently thank whatever god sent him my way to save me from the situation. Eventually the Sor guy returned alone thankfully and the silence from before the clowns came had returned as well.

More time ticked by yet before I knew it the familiar sound of the elevator opening filled the room and out sauntered a familiar face. My hopes were high as my heart began to pound before I remembered my random, crazy act before and realised this most likely wasn't going to go well. The good thing is that he didnt have a lawyer with him so maybe I wasnt going to end up in prison.

Sor finally looked up to Eisuke who pulled out his phone as he made his way to the sofa. "Come to the lounge and bring Mamoru," he ordered before ending the call without wasting a second of his precious time. He continued over to the raven haired male who showed him his laptop screen. Eisuke's eyes swiftly scanned whatever was on the screen before looking at me. Oh boy.

Just as I gulped and anxiety flooded me, the two clowns from before returned with a sleepy looking man who I'm assuming is the Mamoru that Eisuke ordered to come here. They all sat on the sofas as I felt the breath from my lungs leave. Why did Eisuke want so many people here? Maybe they were his legal team which would mean I was in deep trouble.

The thought made my hands clammy. All I wanted was to carry out my mothers will yet the day just couldn't go as planned and here I was surrounded by men who would most likely change my life. Its moments like this where i would go to my mother for support, comfort and advice but none of it was on the table anymore and I was alone in this world. Eisuke wasnt pleaded in the slightest at me just standing outside his hotel so imagining how he would respond to me acting like a wacko lady and causing a scene sent a shiver down my spine.

As I continued dreading the potential future that was going to be thrown my way they talked among themselves. Even if I was paying attention their voices were hushed enough that it would have been loud enough for me to hear; not that I wanted to hear it though.

"So you're mother is (mother name)?" Eisuke's voice pulls me from my dark thoughts. After processing his question I nodded hesitantly.

"You knew her?" I asked. It didnt click that Eisuke would have known my mother and I didnt really know anyone else who knew her so he would be the first person who I could talk to about her.

"Knew?" he questioned.

Before I could talk, I felt like a pile of bricks had been dropped on me. I hadn't said it out loud yet. I bit my lip as my eyes stung from the familiar heat of tears. I blinked them back as I questioned if I wanted to say it. It was real if I said it. I spent days feeling numb on my own before throwing myself into finding Eisuke so I never got to come to terms with the cold, hard truth.

"She... died," I mumbled back in response. Those two words not only confirmed that she was gone but also dragged a dull atmosphere into the room as a short silence followed suit. My heart ached and I could sense the look of pity on one or two of the mens faces and I hated it so for my sake I tried to move the conversation on.

I took a deep breath to soothe myself and forced the tears back before speaking. "That's why I wanted to talk to you, Mr Ichinomiya," I said as I turned toward him. His brows knitted together in thought as I awkwardly waited in response.

After what felt like the longest few seconds he finally turned towards the other men. "Her safety is to take top priority. Get ready for the meeting for when I'm back," he ordered as he got up and walked towards me. "You, with me," he barked and left before I could respond.

"Where are we going?" I asked but followed anyway despite knowing our destination like a loyal dog.

"Your room. My girlfriend should stay in my penthouse after all," he replied but the answer only fueled my confusion.

"I dont have a room here, I cant afford it. Plus what do I have to do with your girlfriend?" I quizzed yet was only greeted with silence. I turned to the others and noticed the clowns laughing at my confusion. Was it that obvious? I thought over the phrase before it clicked.

"Wait, you mean me?! I'm the girlfriend?" His only response was silence as I was practically running after him to catch up with his long, quick strides. Cold much. After chasing after him we finally arrived in a lounge that felt a little more homely yet still as sophisticated as the room I was in prior.

"Y-you didnt... answer... me back there," I huffed out of breath.

"I shouldn't ask questions you already know the answer to. You'll be staying in the guest room. Dont leave the penthouse without my permission. If you leave then I trust you know what trouble will be waiting for you and if I call you better answer immediately."

"You dont even have my number," I said confused, however, my phone buzzed with a message from an unknown number.

"The only replied I should get from you are yes and okay," he half scolded while putting his phone away and nodding his head in the direction of a door. "That's your room."

Without another word he turned on his heel and went back the way we came. That was short and quick. My brain was baffled by the past week's events. I felt foolish for expecting answers as I stood in the lounge all on my own.

Sighing I turned around and walked towards what would be my new room. None of this sat right with me but it was what my mother wanted so I had no choice but to go through with it and trust that she knew what she was doing when she sent me Eisuke's way even if Eisuke was a bit of a dick.

I closed the door to the room behind me as I scanned over the room. It was as elegant as every other room in the hotel but one thing stuck out to me; my things. Why were they here and how? I shuffled through everything to confirm it was mine and after doing so I stared in shock.

Did he do this in the time I was sat with that bodyguard? How would he have been able to find my address then transport it all here? The bad feeling in my gut only worsened as I felt things were going to go downhill with me knowing these people. Not to mention the fact that he's keeping me here and I didnt even have a say in it. The pile of bricks from before hit me ten times harder as I tried to hold onto faith that my mother would keep me from harm's way.

I sat on the bed as the darkness of the night consumed me just like my thoughts did. Surely I was safe, right? Mother would never put me on harm's way. I continued to try and justify what was happening and before I knew it my eyes were opening to the harsh rays of the sun. I guess I fell asleep at some point last night.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes as everything came flooding back to me while my gaze wandered around the room, focusing on my things that mysteriously appeared here. As I pulled my body out of bed I noticed the view of Tokyo. The view was breathtaking and looked like something I would never be able to afford even if I saved up five lifetimes. I felt like I was in a trance as I soaked in the modern scenery and ant sized people.

A knock from the door echoed through the otherwise silent room. I turned as the door swung open to reveal a maid in a blue uniform dress that bowed down to me slightly. "Good afternoon Miss L/n. It's time for your appointments. I've been requested to show you to them," she stated as she raised her head to me.

"Appointments? Afternoon?" I seriously overslept.

"Yes. Mr Ichinomiya is waiting for you. He's a busy man as you know. We must hurry," she replied while eyeing my day old, wrinkled clothing. I'm guessing these wont do for his standards.

As I scurried to the bathroom to get dress I wondered about the appointments the maid was going on about. I dont remember being told about any but yesterday is kind of a blur but I did remember him telling me that leaving him waiting would lead to trouble for me so I hurried along and reappeared in front of the maid.

"Ready? We must be quick," the maid said, leaving the room before I could even answer. Do I get a say with anyone in this hotel or am I just a doormat?

We soon arrived in front of an empty boutique. I turned to the maid with a quizzical look but all she did was stand by the door gesturing for me to go in. Eyeing the empty shop suspiciously, I pushed the clean glass door open and looked around in curiosity before my gaze landed on the one and only Eisuke Ichinomiya.

"You're late," he scolded. His brows were furrowed as he looked down at me in disapproval. "Try these on," he ordered. He jerked his head in the direction of several tracks of dresses as confusion took over me slightly.

"Which ones?"

He scoffed in return and as I looked at him I just managed to see him roll his eyes at me. Wasnt he supposed to be my boyfriend? Does he not know that definition of boyfriend or is this how he treats every woman?

"All of them obviously."

My jaw almost dropped in shock as I stared at all the dresses. He wanted me to try all of them on? This was going to be a long day and it was already way into the afternoon.

[no-worshiped-roads]

Alright next part of mutant au

Zuke has finally arrived to eve’s district and boy does the conversation go south fast

Eve is just... so angry

She makes it clear she thinks zuke abandoned her and zuke has no idea what shes talking about

Most of this fight is dodging and talking/arguing

Thing is zuke and eve had been running away ftom horrible humans that kept them prisoner, at one point they wind up seperated

While running zuke fell down a cliff and the humans presumed him dead, he survived obviously but eve was recaptured while he was out

Some mutants from vinyl city found him and brought him back to be healed

By the time he woke again 3 days had passed and he had no idea where he was

He also found the humans were long gone with nadia from his rescuers

It took another week to heal and he’s got back problems from it

At some point, about 2 weeks later tatiana rescues nadia from the humans

She had been outside of the city making sure they were far away cause they had been close to discovering them when she found them with nadia

After rescuing her and taking her back to the city she gave her time to heal

It took nadia a long time to trust anyone again because to her, it seemed zuke abandoned her and saved himself

Especially when years passed before they had contact again (nadia learned he was in the city but zuke didnt know till after mays kidnapping given that she went by eve)

Zuke actually has to start fighting back which doesnt help especially with a particularly hard blow is landed on her head

It isnt till after eve retreats into her own dimension that theyre able to talk things out, somewhat. Eve at least understands he didn’t abandon her but she seemed really disoriented

Zuke asked her where may was and she seemed to be even more confused when he heard may shout

He left her dimension in a hurry to try and find may, since she was defeated, her other dimensions should have disappeared and dumped their contents back into reality

Unfortunately by the time he gets to where he heard may theres nothing. Just some scorch marks leading out the door

Kliff calls and tells him he needs to go and face the head of nsr, tatiana, in order to get may back and stop all of this

It later occurs to zuke as hes heading to face tatiana that kliff called him and knew what happened

Without zuke telling him

Tatiana

During the talk with eve tatiana had shown up. It didnt take her long to track down where may was held. After a bit of a scuffle, cause may did not go down without a fight, she was able to winnand knock may unconcious.

Thing is while may is strong she has poor control. And tatiana is stronger. I mean fire and time powers so. Yeah.

May wakes up in a chair at nsr tower on the upper floor. Before her with their back turned is tatiana.

“Awake i see.”

May finds she cant move desite not being tied down or anything.

“Dont bother. I used my time abilities to freeze your body in place. You will wait here for our meeting.”

“M-meeting?” May cant help but to feel nervous.

“You dont think i run this on my own do you? I have an individual at my side that needs to meet our newest members of nsr. And help to prepare them.”

“Im not gonna to join nsr! Zuke will bust me out of here and-“

“I plan on him coming. He’s a perfect addition as well. Since you two seem to make a good team, i’ll likely put him in your district.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“To protect others.”

“No? Why are forcing them into this, taking them away if they dont want to? Why-“

“Enough. Your friend has arrived.”

Zuke manages to get up to the tower, finding that these fights are a lot harder without may. He sees may in the chair and goes to rescue her only to be stopped by tatiana. The two fight eachother, with zuke barely being able to avoid losing. Zuke gets knocked down but before tatiana can freeze him too may attacks from behind.

Zuke managed to fight her long enough that she was letting her power on may slip till may could move again. The two fight her side by side till they win. With a very disoriented tatiana on tge fround they realized that all the artists seemed confused and lost after their defeat. As they wonder that out loud, a voice interrupts them.

Kliff

Kliff shows up at the end of the fight congratulating them for helping form a new nsr. And joining it as their newest members.

Theyre understandbly confused when this happens, but dumbfounded when kliff reveals who they really are

Theyre the real head as nsr as they revealed, and kliff has been controlling everyone by force

kliff is a psychic genius, but his powers arent strong enough to control so many prople, much less ones as strong as the nsr artists

So he made chips that went in heads to amplify their powers, mainly his mind control powers, and when he hot a hold of sayus team he was able to make them upgrade the chips, but had no need to use em yet

However the chips had been wearing off, and he no way to get the update into them cause they had weakened do much he was shut out unless the artists were severly weakened

Kliff tricked b2j into fighting nsr to weaken them so the chips could be reprogrammed to be stronger, while simultaneously getting the two out of hiding so they can be controlled as well

Zuke is still confused but mayday stiffens remembering the injury she woke up to in eve’s realm

“Seems one off you figured it out”

“Wh-may?”

Mayday

He activate the chips and while its a bit useless on tatiana given how weak she is, it works well on mayday

Zuke is frozen st first seeing mayday gets into a fighting stance at him and is blown off his feet when she attacks

Zuke mainly dodges and tries to talk to her as she attacks mercilessly

Zuke is reluctant having to fight her but when nothing he says snaps her out of it, he realizes he has no choice

The fight isnt easy as mays powers out match his easy in power

However he has one advantage over her

Control

May is strong, but has poor control over her powers

So he uses that against her to make her powers backfire on her till he manages to win

She collapses to the ground and doesnt move and this freaks zuke out till he finds her pulse

Kliff part 2

Now zuke is beyond pissed, with may out cold by his feet

“What the hell is wrong with you?!”

Kliff (k): see you will be a perfect canidate. Tatiana was right, you two make a good team.

“Why are you even doing this?!”

K: “why? WHY?! HUMANS! THAT’S WHY!”

K: humans are vile disgusting creatures that hunt torture and kill us for sport or entertainment or some bullshit holier than thou attitude, pretending they were some kind of savior for humanity!

K: I am going to build up the strongest mutants and unify them, to protect the weaker who cant fight back. And any human that dares to stumble across here? The artists will KILL them.

“Wtf kind of logic is that?! Youve taken away their will and are trying to make them into killing machines!”

K: hah. It doesnt matter if you understand, you just need to obey.

“You know for someone who hates humans so much, you sure sound like some ive met before.”

This pisses kliff off and the fight starts though its not much of one

Like i said kliff is a weak pyschic relies on controlling stronger mutants in order to get what he wants

So he’s easily beaten

So Kliff activates something on the satellite, it was meant to send out a beam over the city to control everyone all at once

But it wasnt ready and kliff causes it to short circuit and fall

Zuke panics cause hes the only one at ready to stop it but then tatiana and may start coming around, cause when the satellite went out of commission so did the signal that Kliff was using to amplify his powers and control over them

It mostly happens like it does with thr original game in stopping the satellite including kliff getting smacked, but with more confusion because Tatiana doesn’t really know who they are since she’s been under control for so long

They stop the satelite and kliff keeps trying to fix it so he can regain control before eventually slinking off

The end kind of has them all talking and figuring out what’s happened and where to go from there

They keep nsr around but allow others being controlled to go free once their chips are removed and actually make it a place of protection, rather than the oppresive fear it had been before

And there is a lot of aftermath stories if you all have questions about them

[oyesmendes]

a year later

a/n: remember the person who asked for whiskey and pendants part two? and i told her no? well i was wrong. i made this a 5SOS and Shawn Mendes crossover LOL don’t killme 

@mendesficsxbombay​ hope i didnt rip too hard

One year. They’ve been broken up for one year as of today, not that anyone was counting. Y/N couldn’t be bothered to count the number of days since the supposed love of her life broke her heart into pieces and left her hanging by a thread. She had better things to worry about. Like how she was on her way to an album release party for 5 Seconds of Summer, in her favourite scarlet red dress, the fabric clinging on to her body and hugging the curves she was once too shy to show off. Her hair was now cut short, the messy waves of her hair doing wonders to frame her face. She got a tan from her recent trip to Bora Bora, figured that she would go even if Shawn wasn’t the one to take her there. It was a solo trip to foreign land, scary yet exhilarating, and somehow in-between her time in Bora Bora and the party that she was now on the way to, Y/N found herself. She started dating again, no surprise one of the 5SOS band members, Calum. But she also finally knew how she wanted to live her life by her own rules, to play the game her way. She let herself love in the ways she hadn’t done before, and honestly, she was making good progress. Y/N was happy, so fucking happy and content with her life.

“We’re here” the driver announced as the car came to a stop. Y/N thanked him before stepping out of the car, making her way into the building. She met with her friends at the rooftop bar, nursing a cocktail as they caught up and discussed the album tracks. The band had greeted her with a wide grin on their faces, throwing around too many inside jokes they had made during the course of curating the album. She then shared the deepest, most loving kiss with her boyfriend and then left him to party the night away with his brothers. Y/N was having a good time, dancing to the songs that she had painstakingly produced. That was until he sauntered in.

One of her friends nudged her slightly, turning her attention to the entrance where Shawn stood, exchanging hellos with the band. She would’ve guessed he would be here, after all he was friends with the band before she worked with them. There was a pang in her chest when she actually took in his appearance. He had an acid wash denim jacket on, signature white T-shirt with black skinny jeans, not forgetting his worn out Chelsea boots. He looked fresh as hell she wasn’t going to lie, his hair styled perfectly and the smile on his face as wide as when he first locked eyes with her. Before she could even react, Shawn’s eyes were scanning the crowd. It was as if he knew she would be there, and of course why would he not know? Her name was on the record for God’s sake. She quickly turned to face the bar, her friends providing the adequate distraction as they went on about their lives. Though it wasn’t long before a hand landed on Y/N’s shoulder, and the look on her girl friend’s faces was enough to tell her who it was.

“Hey” She breathed out. He had a beer in his hand, cheeks flushed from the influx of alcohol. Shawn grinned stupidly, babbling out a response to her. Y/N got off the bar stool, turning to face him.

“Nice to see you again.” A genuine smile was on her face now, because it was really nice to see him again, and the fact that he looked happy was good.

“I almost didn’t recognise you with your hair, and wow, this dress.”

“Thanks.” Y/N said shyly. The confidence that she brewed over the past year was now gone in an instant while she was under his eyes. She cursed at herself mentally, standing up straighter in her black stilettos. He never saw this side of her before and to Shawn, it was absolutely stunning. An awkward silence fell between the both of them, the chatter of the rooftop bar insufficient to fill the air. Y/N played with the rings on her fingers, hands still wrapped around the half empty glass.

“Can we talk? Maybe somewhere quiet?” Here we go. Y/N nodded, grabbing her glass off the table as she followed behind Shawn. They made their way through the small crowd, stopping to greet mutual friends every once in awhile. Shawn let them to a corner with less people, and a view overlooking the Los Angeles skyline. It felt like their first meeting all over again just that this time, her heart was in different place and the feelings between them far from mutual.

“This is nice isn’t it?” Shawn sighed, letting the cool wind brush his face. She hummed in response, watching the lights sparkle below them.

“I’m sorry for that night, Y/N” He tilted his body to face her. Throughout their two year relationship, Y/N was like an open book and Shawn knew her every move before she even thought about it. But right now, the book was closed, and he was trying really hard to read the words that weren’t there.

“I am too.” She turned to face him as well, and that’s when she noticed the pendant sitting on his chest. The one that she left on the floor of his apartment lobby, the one that brought them together and broke them apart. Her breath hitched in her throat when she felt Shawn grab onto her hand softly. There was no more spark, at least for her, it was just a shockwave sent through her system as she quickly pulled her hand back. Y/N watched as Shawn’s face dropped, him nodding understandingly.

“I just wanted to say I miss-“

“No, please don’t do this” She ran her hand through her hair, the messy curls now a disheveled mess.

“Let me apologise, Y/N. Let me fix this.”

“What for?”

“For the sake of our love.” Y/N let out a humourless chuckle at those words. This was some cliche scene straight out of a movie and right now, she wasn’t having it.

“For the sake of our love? Are you out of your mind, Shawn? There was no love between us the moment you led that stupid blonde chick- Sarah, come into our life. There was no love the moment you left me to clean up the pieces of that broken glass that afternoon.” Her voice was raised ever so slightly, earning the attention of some people nearby. She turned to face the skyline again. It felt like a sick joke to Y/N - now that she was happy, he wants to come rolling in? No God damn way.

“We both had a part to play that afternoon, Y/N.” Shawn stated as a matter-of-fact. Two can play this game.

“Yeah, but I didn’t have a part in sitting on your lap throughout the party that night.”

“I just wanted to apologise, why do you have to make this so hard?” Shawn sighed. Now Y/N felt the anger bubble in her chest. She slammed her cocktail down on the ledge to make a point.

“Do you think I had it easy? I look put together yes, but the scars from the heartbreak are still here, Shawn. I was hurt but I’m getting over it, I’m happy. As much as you would like for us to kiss and make up, I can safely tell you that it’s not going to happen. I’m not the same person anymore.” As if on cue, a six foot tall Australian made his way to Y/N’s side, hands wrapping around her waist protectively.

“Everything alright, love?” Calum kissed the top of her head, looking at her then at Shawn. Y/N could only smile and nod though the hurt on Shawn’s face was evidence that nothing was right. Calum acted oblivious to the situation, pulling her in even tighter. 

“Then is it alright if I steal her away from ya for a minute?” Shawn nodded with a tight lipped smile as he watched her cuddle into the Calum’s side.

The rest of the night felt like a blur to Shawn. Y/N disappeared with Calum after the encounter with him to the other side of the bar so she could calm down. Once she emerged in the crowds again, Shawn had his eyes following her as she jumped from group to group with her boyfriend, if not she was stuck to the side of his bandmates or their girlfriends. He wanted to get to her, explain everything and let her punch him if she must. He wanted to tell her he was sorry, and how much he loved her. He wanted to show her the pictures of Aaliyah’s graduation, the new song he wrote a couple of weeks ago that he thought would be perfect for her to produce. And most importantly he wanted to show her the ring he meant to give her that night a year ago. But he couldn’t.

She looked too happy and confident in her own skin that he couldn’t bear stripping that away from her. She was in love, the glow of her skin and look in her eyes as she stared at her boyfriend didn’t keep anyone guessing. A loud laugh erupted from her lips while she stood next to one of the band members. Her eyes found Shawn’s and she looked for a brief moment before returning her attention back to the group.

“If you’re going to stare, at least be more discreet, mate” Calum said as he took the seat next to Shawn. Shawn stayed silent, eyes still following her as she leaned on the shoulder of one of the girls.

“I know you still love her.” Shawn looked at Calum who was undoubtedly a little drunk, but he was right, even a blind man could tell Shawn was still head over heels for her.

“I do.”

“But you’re in love with the old her.” What the fuck was this man talking about? Shawn thought to himself. He downed the last shot of tequila, wincing as the alcohol slid down his throat. Shawn wanted to get up from his seat and bolt out those doors, but Calum’s next words glued him to the bar stool.

“I know this is stupid, and trust me mate I can’t believe I’m talking to my girl’s ex-boyfriend, but yeah Y/N’s changed.”

“In what way?”

“In the smallest as well as the largest of ways.” Calum took a swig of his beer, “She no longer drinks whiskey like how she did a year ago. Made me get rid of all my whiskey glasses.”

Calum didn’t know it was a low blow, but Shawn felt the knife stab his heart. He waited for him to continue, “She’s so confident of her work now, and she’s one of the most creative people I know. She’s comfortable in her own skin, she’s happy-“

“You don’t know that.” Shawn cut him off but Calum could only smile to himself as he set his bottle down.

“I do, she wasn’t like this a year ago in that club.” Both their eyes flickered over when a large chorus of laughs came from her and her friends. She was dancing and twirling around, something she would never have done with Shawn.

“I get why you still love her, Shawn. But that’s the old her you’re seeing. This is a brand new Y/N, I hope you know.” Calum pat Shawn on the back before joining his friends. He watched as she kissed him softly on the lips and pulled him to dance with her. She was happy.

Shawn could only push the tray of shots back to the bartender as he made his way to leave the bar, to leave the woman he once called his own.

[ablackfangirlwrites]

Dishonest part 2

Dishonest part 1

After a long silence between the two of you, you had made a decision

"Aizawa I think it's best we dont see each other anymore"

Although he doesnt show it aizawa goes into straight panic mode

You just seemed too clam he'd rather you get mad and yell at him

He wanted you to hit him tell him how stupid he was how much he messed up

But you didnt you simple stood there not making eye contact with him

And that made him feel worse

He felt like he broke you

You had even called him by his last name you never did that

"Is there anything I can say to change your mind?" He asked

He needed to at least try to make it up to you

You couldn't believe he would ask you something like that

Hadn't he done enough

"I know I have no right here but Y/n I'm still in love with you, and I still need you in my life."

You wanted to be angry with him and you want to yell but you simply dont have the energy to argue with him

And even worse when he said he still loved you, you believed him

But he also clearly loved someone else

And despite everything you've been through together

You couldn't bring yourself to just forgive and forget

You believed him you just didn't trust him

"No Aizawa, there isn't anything you can do...now I'd like it if you left."

Aizawa would try to think of something to say but he knew it was useless

You made up your mind

So he left

It would be years before the two of you reunited

You would be shopping by yourself

Since you had broken up you never got back into another relationship

You simply stayed busy with your job

You would have a fling every once in a while but nothing that really lasted

In truth it was because deep down no one could compare to Aizawa

But your time with him had ran its course

Aizawa also spent those years alone

After you had confronted him about his infidelity he had stopped seeing that person

He'd focus himself into his work

There were many times he would think about stopping by your shop and trying to start things over but he just couldn't bring himself to do it

He was shopping by himself when he saw you

It had been years but you were just as beautiful as you had always been

you didnt see him though

So He wasnt going to say anything to you

But when you did make eye contact and recognize him you would stop in your tracks

You also thought about how he looked just as beautiful as he always did

But then you would panic were you supposed to say something to him?

Are you supposed to still be mad at him??

It had been years since you saw him

Surely you could be civil and say hello

You hated to admit it but the sight of him made your heart sore

Once the two of you were close enough Aizawa would speak up

"Hello Y/n."

You would smile "Hello Aizawa.....its been a long time."

He would nod, "Yeah...how are you?"

The two of you would talk for a moment catching up

Never addressing the awkward tension the two of you no doubt were standing in

After catching up s bit the two of you would go back on your separate ways

You wouldn't hear from each other for a few mouths

It would be after the USJ attack

You remembered Aizawa telling you he was a teacher

After you heard all the reports on the news you couldn't help but be a bit concerned

You still had his number

You wanted to know if he was okay

So it wouldn't hurt to call him right?

Right?

But he never answered

Instead, you got a callback but it wasnt Aizawa on the other line instead it was Hizashi

You were friends with Hizashi back when you were with Aizawa but the two of you hadn't spoken in years

"Y/n?"

You'd recognize his voice

"Oh, hi Hizashi...I was calling for Aizawa its stupid really I was just seeing if he was okay which I'm sure he is it's Shouta, after all, I shouldn't have called-"

"Y/n" he would say to stop your rambling

Then he would tell you about Aizawa's condition

Dropping your phone you couldn't help but panic

You had to see him regardless of your past you still had a place in your heart for him and you wanted to be by his side

Aizawa would be banged up

But he was going to survive

So many thoughts would be running through his mind when he finally woke up

But most of it he would forget whe he awoke and saw your head laying down at his side

"Y/n?" He was confused why were you hear

He was grateful but he couldn't phantom why you would come and see him

You woke up to the sound of his voice

You had been there all day waiting for him to wake up

And when he did you could help but cry "I was so worried Shouta."

Aizawa would immediately feel bad he made you cry again

"I'm so sorry Y/n," Aizawa would start. "When I was fighting there was a moment I thought I was going to die. And the only regret I had was what I did to us-to you and I'm so sorry. You deserved better and even now you're here I dont deserve you. But if you could find it in your heart to forgive me I promise I'll never hurt you again."

You didn't know what to say you definitely wasnt expecting that

Part of you had been forgiven him

But there was another part that wasnt sure

"Y/n?" Aizawa would call your name wondering what was going through your mind

You would sigh, "How about we talk more about this when you get better, until than let me just take care of you."

[sugaredge]

I miss Frances and Isaiah, they were so cute.

i have conflicted emotions. i was never fond of him when they were together quite honestly, when the news broke they got married i knew it would end how it did, though i hoped it wouldn't. he started dating her when she was underage and he had a whole child. a one year old baby. plus he says frances was the one who proposed and being older (especially with a baby at home) he should've known better. it seemed like he got his in, plus frances was 19 when they were engaged, she was far too young to be a step mother, and after they were married she tweeted she wasnt having kids for many years as she still felt one herself. when they divorced he demanded so much in spousal support and when he didn't get that or the house he kept her dad's guitar to auction off. he caused the family hell.

it's unusual, he dyed his hair the same exact colours as kurt (bright red and light purple) and kept his hair and outfits similar to his. it's much more unsettling looking back. plus ever single tour he was on was through frances' connections (gerard way, frank iero, smashing pumpkins, the used). on his old facebook he admitted his clothes were stolen from goodwill or frances. though he was said to have surprised frances with all these wonderful gifts, it's clear he paid for them all with her trust fund, then claimed she spent too much (though she kinda did, but he also did). everything seemed opportunistic.

however i was on the eeries twitter the other day (it's still up), and isaiah tweeted on there. it's a rare glimpse into his personality, a little goofy with social commentary on misogyny and violence in media. he seemed like a well likeable guy. moreover it's clear he and frances had a lot in common in terms of music, movies, books, comics, tv shows and art. and her friends liked him (though i guess they had too, with the exception of courtney, who despite trying to have a relationship with him was always weary of him). he supported her education, art and music. and photos of them are very sweet. she was very clearly in love. but he turned very bitter with the divorce. if he truly respected her, and if he actually loved her he wouldn't have tried milking her for money. i know he has a child to support but he also has another parent to raise her with, as well as his family, ultimately his kid is his responsibility. he never needed money from her. he never needed to paint her as a crazy rich kid drug addict hoarder that he did everything he could to save. however his attempts to slander her name was shortlived as his refusal to return kurt's guitar made him the most hated guy in america, the eeries twitter was flooded with comments under every post telling him how horrible he is and to return the guitar. i dont think he could go many places without being harrassed by a nirvana fan anymore. he totally screwed himself all for money.

looking back at pics, old facebook exchanges, if you're in the moment it's very cute lovebirds sharing their life together. my old laptop died and i cannot anywhere find the pics of isaiah and frances making forts in their room to stay and read in, things like that are so cute (sometimes i do wonder who was thirdwheeling taking all these pics of them kissing, or in their house or at family gatherings together). but adding any kind of context, rationality or hindsight, it seems totally predatory to me. he didnt even wait for her to be of age he got his talons in right away. it's creepy. eerie is a fitting band name. if he was smart (and if his band was any good) he should've committed to growing his band and having a quiet divorce when frances filed, then maybe he wouldn't be so disliked.

i also often think of how different frances was with him. though she's a very goofy and affectionate person, her twitter made her seem rather misanthropic, then she had a transitional period of indulging in herself, her own interests and building a life outside of him, before dating matt and becoming much more 'wholesome', approachable and having this aura of bubbly, loving energy, she seemed so much more youthful. she's since closed her life off, disabled tagging, disabled comments, deleted social media accounts, no longer opening herself up to the world, which i do respect, though it means i have to post a lot of old content to keep this blog afloat.

isaiah being older perhaps she had to appear much more wiser, mature and standoffish, though it's partially youthful angst, there was this need to prove herself, and she isolated herself so much from everyone else. it seemed to hinder her growth. i also think being a teenager around older couples in their 30s who met their 'soulmate' and had these great romantic stories, of which frances had even tweeted about (gerard and lindsey and the al columbia comic), added to this fantasy that this guy she met at 17 was the love of her life and she had to marry him. i think her friends were good people and trusted her decisions but perhaps they should've told her to slowdown a little.

i think photos of isaiah and frances were cute, and frances gushing over someone she loved was cute. wanting to share that love with the world was cute. i think the situation and how it started and ended, wasn't. it was a naive love. and i'm sorry she has been so troubled because of it. her music seems to be about him. i wonder if those older tracks make the album or if she completely chooses to leave him in the past.

[ducknotinarow]

[ betrayal ] my  muse  finds  out  that  your  muse  has  betrayed  them and  confronts  them  about  it

Oh this is definitely Vald and Richard fitting

((Yes!))

Richard was a snob when it came to his coffee, he claimed can to be bad. But would drink it himself. Claimed some drinks were more sugar than coffee, but even those were served at his cafe. One thing he never backed down on though was his dislike for a certain big chain. All because of the man who owned it.

Vlad.

Not many knew this but Richard has a history with that vulture. Beyond being seen as competition. No, Richard and Vald history gose back to thier college days. Alumni from the same school. Someone Richard got along with relatively well, they may not have always agreed on things but it wasnt so bad. Nor were the more intimate moments.

It was purely lust based and bussniess between. Which made Vald seem like the best person to go into bussniess with untill, Richard was served some papers, all about how he had no rights to anything thier company.

Richard couldn't believe what he was seeing before him. From what he was reading everything he had done, all the time and effort to help launch this bussniess was for nothing because he was getting cut off of it. He crumpled the paper in his hand that laid out the truth to him. Yet he needed to hear it from the vulture themselves.

Tracking him down was easy, everything he said wasn't. It was all true Vald had set Richard up, used him to set up this company and once in a good place take it from himself. Richard slammed his hands on the desk eyes blazing with the betrayal he was feeling cut down with.

"You, cut me out?!" It was dumb to ask but he needed to hear those words that Vald casually gave. No regrets behind his words like he couldnt wait for this moment.

There was nothing Richard could do, he agreed to a lot of what now had his hands tied. Started to wonder if Thomas and Meldoys viwes weren't too wrong after all.

Getting personal with others, left him open to this whole situation after all. Even with how these two were the fact still stand. Richard didnt linger, there was no point.

Vald won after all.

Richard, was so desperate to get this dream going. So desperate to prove a point to his parents. It lead to poor decisions if he hadn't trusted the vulture than he wouldn't be in this place. Heading straight to the escort service building hed been working at on the side, mind buzzing and heart pumping rapidly. Richard was gonna have to start again

I dont care what it takes, my heart, my soul, my body. I'll put everything on the line, Vald I'm not letting you get the better of me.

[youngbloodlisk]

so this doesn't have a title and it isn't relating to any fandom or anything. it's just something i wrote like....mid-2019? used random names and stuff cause i didnt know who to write it for. and i just found it in my notes app lol so i thought i'd share in case anyone would be interested

+ i'm on mobile so i'm immensely sorry for the lack of a keep reading tab

word count: 1.1k~

warnings: death, cheating, manipulation, the guy is an asshole and attacks the girl's insecurities (worth, body), girl blames herself

"Hello?" I answer the call as cheerily as I can. It had been a less than enjoyable day that gloomy February 8th.

"Hi, Anna, it's Lindsay." The sound of my boyfriend's mother's voice lifts my spirits a bit.

I know it's Jared's birthday but he always tells me to pretend it's any other day and if I dare go out of my way for him he won't talk to me until March. I know he's kidding, but I always hope he'll let me do something for him one day.

"Hey, Mrs. Arthur. What's up?"

"Well, it's Jared's birthday, as I'm sure you know. We're planning a surprise party for him, and I was hoping you'd be able to help us set up? We're working on it right now. Are you free?"

"Yes, ma'am, I'm free. I'd love to help, I'll be right over!"

"Thank you, Anna!" She hangs up and I grab my keys.

Soon enough, I make it to his house and let Mrs. Arthur know that I'm at the door. She had said not to knock, as to not make Jared (who is upstairs studying in his room with his chem lab partner) suspect anything.

I help them for around an hour setting up decorations and cooking Jared's favorite foods.

His family keep telling me they appreciate my input on the decorations, as I apparently know him "so much better" than any of them do.

"Ok, I think it's all good. Anna, if you wanna go on upstairs and get him? Just tell him that I said dinner is ready." Mrs. Arthur gives me a wink as I nod and start up the stairs.

I walk all the way to the end of the hall until I reach the door I've entered a million times before.

It's been forever since we last knocked on each others' bedroom doors before we walked in, so I don't even bother.

I crack the door and open it slowly, expecting to see two people sitting at his desk working.

Instead I see my boyfriend and his lab partner (Carissa), both half naked, making out on his bed.

When they heard the door open they jump away from each other and look at me.

I stare into the eyes of the man I trusted for two years.

I had told him so much, things I hadn't even told my best friends.

Wasted so much time, money, energy, and love on this man.

This man who took everything we had, everything he made me think we had, and threw it in a fire.

My brain files through how many of the weird things he's said make sense now.

The amount of lies he told me.

The amount of loving looks that were practically nothing more than a theatrical act.

The way he manipulated my emotions, made me fall in love with him and trust him with everything I had, made me feel special to him and loved by him.

It's all just... appalling.

How could a human being be so... easily used? How could I have been so stupid?

And I physically feel my heart break.

"Anna, it's not what you think-" Jared immediately begins lying to defend himself.

Carissa simply looks annoyed.

I spare no strength slamming his door before quickly making my way down the hall and the stairs.

"Anna, wait!" Jared yells from the top of the stairs.

I halt immediately, so used to obeying what he tells me to do... I don't even realize that I can still walk out.

All of his family are watching in confusion.

Jared runs down the steps, messy hair and shirtless, which only confuses the family more.

I turn around, the tears in my eyes threatening to escape.

"That was not what you think it was-"

"Then what was it, Jared? How are you possibly gonna explain that to me?"

"She... I..."

"I thought so." I turn back around and head for the door but his next words truly stop me in my tracks, without order this time.

"You shouldn't be so surprised, Anna! You were never good enough for me, you knew that."

I hear his mother begin to scold him.

"Mom, stop. She always knew I deserved better than her. She'd never be enough for me. No matter how much of her there happened to be." The extra jab at my body feels like an extra arrow to the chest. "She'll never be enough for anyone. She should expect something like this to happen to her with anyone she dates." He begins to raise his voice. "Who wouldn't need better while they're still pity-dating her? Why am I the bad guy? Why am I the bad guy when you just weren't enough for me, Anna?"

"Jared Arthur!" His mother sounds utterly horrified at her son's behavior.

"I'm out." Jared's shoulder hits mine as he storms past everybody, grabbing his hoodie from beside the door, and slamming the door on his way out.

A few seconds of silence follows, before his mom is by my side muttering her apologies and how disappointed she is in him.

I shake my head.

I push her away as kindly as possible and leave without a word.

Simply trying to make it to my car without crying.

I go to sleep early that night.

The pain is still evident in the tear stains covering about half of my pillow.

I'm woken up by my ringtone, a call from an unknown number.

I groggily answer with a "Hello?".

As in, 'Hello, what absolute garbage is waking me up by calling me at 3am?'

The more the man, the police officer, on the phone talks to me, the more I wake up until I'm crying once again.

"Hello, Anna? This is Officer McNab. I'm sorry to inform you that Mr. Jared Arthur is deceased as of 10:30pm last night. There was an unreported car crash. You are on his emergency contact list. I'm very sorry to wake you, ma'am, especially bringing news such as this. I apologize. But I have to know if you are related to Mr. Arthur or not."

"N-No, sir. I'm his girlfr-... I'm his ex-girlfriend." My voice shakes and it's near impossible to form a sentence.

"I see. Again, I'm very sorry, ma'am."

"Thank you for c-calling me, officer."

"Of course ma'am. Thank you for your time." He hangs up and my phone drops from my hand, seemingly in slow motion.

10:30pm. Not long after he left the house, driving away because he was mad at me.

It was me.

I killed him.

[way-veee]

yān yǔ

rating: m genre: romance, fluff, comedy, wayv being absolute crackheads word count: 1.5k + pairing: reader x wayv pt. 2 

“just recording? okay i can manage that.” you reassure yourself on the phone with your manager. 

“yeah, it’s just for half the day because the boys have rehearsal for the other half, you’ll be in the umeda district, without any cameras or media coverage, me and mr. lee think it will have a more relaxed outcome for the report.” 

“you talked to mr soo-man lee?” you question definitely skeptical of your manager.

 “well i talked to someone that’s ordered around by him so in theory.. you know what forget it.”  

a small smile plays on your lips in the early morning light.

 “just be ready by 10:00 and remember, make them look good, really good. do you hear me?” 

you grimace slightly, you were known to give an unbiased sometimes harsh opinion on your reports. painting wayv in an angelic light would go against everything that you’ve worked for. 

“yes of course.” you whisper, before hanging up the phone unable to take anymore orders from your manager. 

you make sure you have everything in place, you have on one of the sweaters you brought, with jeans and your favorite purse. you pack your laptop and journal so you can jot down notes for today’s section. you even put on a little makeup, not that it mattered what other people saw you as, you just wanted to wear it. after everything is settled you leave the room. 

and there’s no one in the hallway. 

you look at your watch, it’s only 9:41, had the boys not woken up yet? you tip toe quietly to look for any signs of life, but find none. you shrug, it’s not your fault  that the members of wayv couldn’t manage their time properly. you walk out to the garage of the complex expecting a black bmw to drive you and wayv  to umeda. 

instead you find seven fashionably early boys. 

you open your mouth in shock. how did they beat you here?

you hated to admit it but they all looked so good. wearing trendy and fashionable high end clothing, everything looked so effortlessly nice and boyfriend material ish, you knew it was carefully pick out just for this occasion. you roll your eyes in disdain. 

did they have no sustenance in their life? did they have any choices of their own? just the thought constricts you. 

“ i thought there weren’t going to be any cameras today?” you say flatly.          

 they look you up and down definitely not impressed by your boring appearance. 

“if there were cameras around you wouldn’t be here.” you looked shocked, over at xiaojun. 

“and you all wouldn’t be taking photos that i’d allow in my issue.”

 they’re all shocked at you now. no one ever talked back to them, especially not some little reporter girl in a baggy brown sack. 

“the car’s waiting.” you hear kun say, definitely trying to break this doomed conversation apart. 

you all pile into the van, one of their countless and disposable employees sits beside the driver. 

“so y/n,” he says as they drive off. “we hear you’re a great reporter?” 

the boys highly doubted that, they highly doubted that you’re even supposed to be here.

“that’s very kind of you to say,” you respond, genuinely flattered. “i actually was head journalist of the louis vutton fashion show here in osaka, and another one of my articles was chosen to cover the osaka university crisis.” 

you can feel the boys surprised impressions behind you. you had single handedly covered two of the biggest events in osaka. 

they weren’t the only ones that excelled in their field of work. 

when you got to the studio, the managers had takeout ready for you guys to eat. after, you were flung into a meeting after with wayv and their managers, they discussed logistics and statistics no doubt to impress you. 

but all you could focus on was the seven boys sitting on the opposite side of the table, making mean faces at you. 

you couldn’t believe it, they were full on glaring at you the whole time. you couldn’t fathom how superstars like them could be so rude, so you naturally make faces back, sticking your tongue out, curling your lips. 

it didn’t scare them like you intended it too, but it was more interesting than the meeting.

 the boys had to have a word with the producers from the studio. of course you weren’t allowed in, because it was “sensitive information”, so you were exiled alone into a room beside the studio, just with a few chairs and a piano. 

you refrained from playing the piano for sometime, sitting in a chair fiddling with your thumbs, but as the minutes added on you gave in quite easily and decided to play it. 

the leather seat feels familiar as you trace your hands across the keys. the piano was the only instrument you enjoyed playing, something about is was different than every other. whenever you played music on the piano, you immersed yourself in it.

 your right hand starts to aimlessly play a tune by muscle memory, then your other hand joins in and you let out a familiar sigh of relief as your body slips into a state of relaxation that you only get from playing the piano. 

you played the piano a lot when you were in high school. you didn’t have many friends and most subjects didn’t entertain you. aside from writing, playing piano was what you did most. you played pop song covers, jazz, classical, movie scores. whatever you could get your hands on. what you lost in social interactions, you made up with music.

it was also very personal to you. you played with your whole heart, there was so much emotion and expression you put into it. if anyone said something rude about your playing, your whole world would shatter.

but in this very moment, it brought you the stability you needed. so you continued playing, the song was seven minutes long and you played through it twice.

then suddenly, you feel a tap on your back and literally jump up out of your seat. red faced you turned around to see ten, seemingly unfazed. you wonder how long he’d been there. 

you hadn’t heard him enter so he could’ve been there for quite some time. the thought makes you want to shrink down into oblivion.

“i.... sorry i just started to play and...” 

“is that liszt?” he asks, genuinely curious.

 “yes,” you reply with a smile, looking into his light brown eyes. “le mal du pays.” 

you stare at him for a second waiting for him to ask more questions, but he doesn’t. he just turns back around and says 

“we needed you in there ten minutes ago.” 

he then saunters off into the room not once looking back. 

you indignantly huff and walk into the room, shaken by your encounter with ten. as you enter the room the boys stop speaking in rushed cantonese and look at you. 

“okay, now we can get started,” the director of the studio says definitely unimpressed by your tardiness.

 “so as we discussed, this album is going to be more contemporary and natural, this is where the fans will really get to know more about you and your interests.” 

you hurriedly take out your pen and notepad and scribble down points of the meeting you can expand on later.

 the director plays a few back tracks and the boys comment on them. 

 “for the main track we wanted to incorporate minnan dialect, to represent our past,”

you look up at hendery, you love the idea. it would add insight and depth to their music while honoring a part of chinese culture. 

“well..” the director cuts in, “we wanted to take another approach and stick to a standard chinese and english mix. now for the lyrics one of our producers wrote this to go along with a pre selected track..” 

you look up shocked, then at the boys. they looked so defeated after having their idea shot down, you couldn’t believe that SM basically did everything for them and wayv couldn’t do anything to stop it. 

at first you might have called the boys lazy or manufactured. but now you know that they’re trapped and dismissed. 

you see that on their faces. you had no idea. the rest of the “collaboration” took an hour, as you sat there and lied out guts your onto the notepad in front of you. 

both wayv and the producers worked harmoniously, turning primal beats and rhythms into lovely music. 

neither, had happened. the producers played generic pop beats and wayv tried again and again to get some of their ideas incorporated, failing each time.

 the drive back was silent, you could feel the defeat in the air. they were no longer looking at you, or concerned about you. 

they were looking among themselves for hope, for a way to make music they wanted to make. 

their sadness made you want to break in two. 

you couldn’t hate them anymore. you didnt deserve too, they can hate you all they want. but you could no longer be mad at these boys after seeing what they've been through. now everything makes sense.

“well, anyone can play the piano, hell even xiaojun can play the piano and look at him,”yangyang says while gesturing to xiaojun who was trying to persuade lucas to give him a piggy back because he wanted to “move fast”

ten shakes his head at yangyang, hendery and winwin.“no not like that, she was really good.”

“are you sure it wasn't a recording or-”

“no.” ten says, cutting winwin off. “it was amazing to listen to” he reminisces. getting lost in that moment, looking up at the ceiling thinking of your hands dancing across the piano keys like magic.

“it was like, she was supernatural. the look on her face was so serene that i didn’t want to disturb her. it was really weird...”

the boys look at ten waiting for him to say more.

“trust me, when you guys hear her you’ll agree. she sounded professional. really.”

he looks into the boys eyes for a glint of acknowledgment, but finds none.

“how much did you hear?” winwin asks.

“all of it.” 

the boys look at ten in shock, he never usually talked about people this way. especially not a sack wearing gross looking reporter like yourself.

“well that still doesn’t make up for the fact of her being a complete jerk!” xiaojun yells from atop lucas’s broad shoulders.

“i don’t think we can judge her until we get to know her.” kun says as he appears from his room. “there is definitely a lot there that we don’t see.”

“we’ll she’s still a bi-” yangyang then tackles hendery from behind, pulling him off of the bed the other members were sitting on. his words cut off by yangyang's clammy hands. yangyang tries to lick hendery’s nose while he yells fearfully in chinese.

after they had settled down, xiaojun thought he’d say what they were all thinking. 

“today went worse than usual. they usually consider our ideas, or act like they like them. now they don’t even pretend to need us.”

the boys look down in defeat. xiaojun was right. it had gotten worse.

“i dont know how much longer i can do this..” lucas says, looking tearfully into the palms of his hands. “ i want to be a musician. not just a body, or a face or a dancer. i want to sing and make music.”

the boys sit on the silence of the room. 

they feel the same. they had no idea how much longer they could last like this.

“i just don’t understand. our ideas are good. and they’re our ideas. no one should be treated like this.” winwin whispers.

“give it time,” kun offers. “we have fans supporting us and we have each other. music or not i want to stay with you guys.”

henderey grabs kun’s hand with his own as they sit there for the millionth time. contemplating the situation they were in. 

“we have to do something,” ten says looking up at the saddened boys he thinks of as brothers. “and i think i know how.”

they look up hopefully, but as soon as they figure out that the sack wearing gross looking reporter was involved,

chaos erupts.

part 3 

[carlyfrombleachers]

Liveblogging of TS6 (reputation)

Okay. Let me preface this by saying I don’t like Taylor Swift. I think she’s a boring artist, who brings close to nothing to the table. The reason I’m even listening to Reputation is because I keep getting recommended an interview of Jack Antonoff where he talks about New Year’s Day (which is a song on Reputation) and I really want to watch that but I also want to know what the fuck he’s talking about. So here we are. Don’t expect more stuff like this from me. I expect this to be just a one-off thing. Swifties, don’t fucking come after me or I will cry. The only other TS album I listened to was Lover, and I thought it was trash. Absolute garbage. And apparently this one is worse than Lover. I don’t know if I’ll regret this.

Let’s begin, I guess.

...Ready For It?

I keep thinking of that one voice clip from the Hannah Montana intro (?) where you faintly hear a girl say “are you ready for it?” and that’s my first impression just by looking at the title.

I’m hitting ‘play’ right now.

Oh nevermind, I forgot to pay Deezer this month. YouTube it is.

Hey look, Ajay is in my recommended. Queen of reactions.

Help what is this

rockstar taylor??

what the fuck is up with the beat

chorus felt weak. this is my first opinion im not done with the track

i looked at the music video for 3 seconds and i saw a horse bye

i was distracted by the music video help i dont like this

since i looked at the music video for just a lil while i should say it looks weird. it is weird in a bad way it looks like some knockoff cyberpunk thing.

why didnt she just name this “Are You Ready For It?”

I’m... not particularly blown away by this track. It’s fine. I wouldn’t bop to it but I wouldn’t object to it playing somewhere. It’s like... it’s decent.

End Game (ft. Ed Sheeran, Future)

I don’t know who Future is.

she said reputation haha thats the name of the album

ok future is a rapper i dont listen to rap thats why i dont know him

after listening to lover i cant believe this is the same woman this is so weird

not looking forward to the ed sheeran part

“i wanna be your end game” this wasnt really what i was expecting

fuck off ed sheeran (i just reached his part)

according to some tabloid lady gaga mistook ed sheeran for a waiter? i would do the same thing if i saw this redhead fuckface on the street as well lol

“big reputation, big reputation, you and me got a big reputation” so deep!!!

I guess I should take this time to-- is she rapping?

Sorry, I got distracted. I don’t think every song needs to be this huge deep piece that must be deeply analyzed for centuries, but I do expect some interesting message or context for a track at least. If it sounds good, I’d also give it a pass. 

This one? This was boring. I would not verbally object to this playing close to me, I would just have a grossed out look on my face during the chorus.

I Did Something Bad

I keep reading the title in Akasaka Sad’s tune. You know the part where Rina says “A-ka-sa-ka sad, I’m a sucker”? I keep thinking “I did-I did something bad”. I don’t expect it to be like that.

“i never trust a narcissist but they love me” taylor talks about her fanbase

sorry to drag swifties publicly but i will forever take an opportunity to drag a swiftie

predictable antithesis use there with “i did something bad so why does it feel so good” but okay

why was taylor branded a snake again? she pretended it was “””gone””” with lover but like. it’s weird. its not like she punched kanye on stage in 2008 or something. i dont care enough to search for evidence that taylor is a snake so lol go off i guess

dont enjoy the post-chorus part where she’s like drddddddd dddddddd it feels so distracting the gunshots were more than enough

Yeah, this one was fine. My favorite up to this point, I think.

Don’t Blame Me

lol she said “dont blame me” then it buffered bye

i was showering for the past 25 minutes hello i was listening to track 10 and melodrama

i am enjoying this one kinda

“dont blame me love made me crazy” haha wait until you find out what your next era is

“i once was poison ivy now im your daisy” this is a pretty good line honestly

obligatory katy flop moment: haha taylor could hit the high notes in daisy

this sounds like a country song especially in the chorus i dont know what to really make of it

“loooord save me” this is why your female fans are called horse girls

This was... pretty good. The chorus weirds me out still, but it had its good moments. It was nice.

Delicate

stop saying reputation in the reputation album

this autotune voice bits of hers are so distracting

i say as i listen to how i’m feeling now by charli xcx

yes i did just roast myself. gotta leave the swifties with nothing

god the music video for this track has 400m views this woman is making my faves look like indie stars LOL

I keep getting distracted because this song is boring. It’s... okay. I guess. The music video was pretty cute. Nothing caught my attention in the track, but it sounds like gym music. It would play on a gym owned by a 30-something white woman during the yoga classes and you know it.

Look What You Made Me Do

We’ve all heard this song. I’m gonna listen to it and then be done with it.

I guess I’ll just watch the music video.

ONE BILLION VIEWS????????????

Okay. I watched the music video.

Really? All the fem guys dancing with her?

I’m not going to sit here and be like “fem guys are BAD and should all die and never be represented” because… lol. But it is kind of annoying how it was literally just fem guys dancing with her and doing all those faces because you KNOW she was looking for the impressionable gays to go “omg taylor progressive!!!!” and go talk about it on social media.

But am I saying that because I don’t like Taylor? Yes. But that doesn’t make my point less valid.

The music video was pretty good, the production on this track is really good (thank you Jack Antonoff xx) and the track itself is good. Not outstanding or perfect or a serve, it’s good.

Also the ending with all her previous eras? That was cool. The uncool part is most of the “look how rich I am” parts… because we all know you’re rich, Taylor. Nice SFX.

So It Goes…

i got an ad whyyyyyyy

fuck this shit i cant keep up with what shes saying im pulling genius out for this one

this is not lyrically deep i can tell already from genius

im not a fan of love songs i already have CRJ to cover that base and Lorde covers breakup songs I guess and this song is just. boring. lol

Nothing really shocking or noteworthy here, it’s just.. okay.

Gorgeous

I got another ad FUCK

i got a boss baby ad help

god boss baby really was something huh i completely forgot about that

why am i talking about boss baby

okay. reputation

why did a baby say gorgeous

HELP i am so disappointed this is the one track with the lyric video and god this is disappointing

i saw this and i was like “oh shit shes gonna talk about how its gonna be gorgeous when u die” or smth and

lol. LOL. the depth is nonexistent and the bar is in hell

who wrote this? you lied

This song is so boring, LOL. I expected so much from it and was instantly disappointed when the pre-chorus hit. You had everything on your plate and you ate the plate itself. Girl. What the hell. Why. You could’ve given us an anthem about hating your man, and you took the easy route.

Getaway Car

im intrigued

okay im listening and this sounds very jack antonoff? the shotgun thing made me immediately go o_o

it felt a bit weak at the end but at the start i was enjoying it quite a lot… i think this is my fave

I enjoyed this one quite a lot :) It was pretty good but not an amazing masterpiece. It was better than LWTMMD and that’s all I have to say.

King Of My Heart

sounds boring haha

taylor keeps putting these trap beats in things sister youre not lorde LOL

yeah this is kinda boring

WAIT A MINUTE NEW YEARS DAY IS THE LAST TRACK???? IM GONNA HAVE TO STICK UNTIL THE END oh my god please no

i dont. i .. i knew this would be happening but i didnt expect it to be the last one

i guess the timing is accurate ha ha ha ha

i just heard ariana grande

I keep hearing Ariana Grande on this track. Is that good? I don’t know.

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

why are there so many songs in this fucking album

the beat is.. okay. it is catchy

oh i like this i think. its pretty nice

the chorus is nice. yes. i do kind of enjoy this

Yeah, I liked this one. Pretty good writing, and it sounds great.

Dress

wtf is this song why is it so horny

horny taylor is weird stop being horny please

this song is okay i would not revisit it because its just weird. do not like this!!!

when carly rae jepsen says slide on through my window it is funny but when taylor sings i bought this dress so you could take it off i die

oh that second of silence was really good

[looks at the producer] [it’s jack antonoff] :)

This song weirds me out. I don’t like it. It had its moments production-wise but it was... weird.

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

I expect good things from this. With a title like that? Give me a bop.

Currently not being a bop.

Okay, it was cute. Nothing amazing. Just… fine. Cute attempt.

oh i liked the spoken part thats what i expected from this song

Call It What You Want

this is about genitalia this is my prediction

It was not about genitalia.

This song is pretty good if you remove all the mentions to her lover and her man and her baby, which are all the same person, I guess.

This is disappointing.

JACK ANTONOFF BACKING VOCALS

I LOVE YOU JACK

umm anyways

OH HE DID IT AGAIN IM GONNA CRY i love this man

I expected so much from this track and the chorus just… disappointed me.

JACK!!! I LOVE YOU!!!! KEEP SINGING!!!!!

i love this man im gonna cry

The highlight of this song is the part where Jack Antonoff sings.

New Year’s Day

wow the reason why im doing this shit

look at him. :)

this song was cute. nothing special. just cute. very okay.

just. okay. yeah. pretty fine.

nothing special.

Final Thoughts On The Album

It was better than Lover.

I expected this to be a concept album, all about the drama she’s gotten into? But it was just boring love songs with some extra flair. I expected great things from this album, having only heard LWYMMD from it before this. A concept album that’s just an answer/clapback to everyone’s who wronged her à la Yellow Flicker Beat (I know it’s for a movie but that song slaps and I don’t know a thing about Hunger Games) would’ve been PERFECT but it was just... love songs. I need Taylor to stop singing about love and start serving us big meals.

I would not like to revisit this. Like, 5/10. It could’ve been a lot better, but it wasn’t because you’re too afraid to cross some lines, Taylor.

Final Ranking:

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

Getaway Car

Look What You Made Me Do

I Did Something Bad

Don’t Blame Me

New Year’s Day

Call It What You Want

...Ready For It?

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

So It Goes...

End Game (feat. Ed Sheeran, Future)

Dress

Delicate

King Of My Heart

Gorgeous

taylor flop stream gone now

[delicioustrashlove]

To me : a honest open letter to my self. deep breath and open up and express 

What do you know . You went back there again and all though you held on super tight you couldn’t keep him could you? Of course not. You’ve lost your self every-time chasing him and you’ve never been able to catch him.

I thought I wouldn’t survive this one. I thought honestly I was not going to make something of my self . I whole heartedly was ready to give up . What ever happened happened and I could care less it’ll never be as bad as losing you. And I truthfully connived my self that my happiness only lied in your arms.

It took me so long to cry . Once I got back Colorado the reality of my new home, it was such a blur . For a while I pretended you died. To some how help my heart forget you. And thats all I wanted was to forget you. I deleted every picture and every single video .I blocked you on everything I could think of that youd have access to talking to me through . And for what . Just to black out once a week and tell you how much  I miss you and that I love you . I drank my self silly . I mean every event every party every outing I had to be there I had to be anywhere but in reality . Because reality meant no you. It meant what once was and will never be again,, reality meant excepting my feelings. And I wanted so badly to be tough and strong. I’ve gotten my heart shattered a million times by you , you’d think I would get easier . It didnt it was worse . I was so fully invested in you that life didnt exist with out you in it . I didnt know what that felt like anymore . I was so wrapped up In you so blind to reality . Loving you meant losing my self . I lost my self 4 times a year for 5 years trying to keep your heart. I broke my own heart letting you back in to my life so many times . I knew better . But the love I had for you was so much stronger . I couldn’t stay away . I also revolved my entire world around you , so when you where gone I felt so literally like the world was ending . I lost my whole life . I realize now thats not healthy . You have to always prioritize your health and well being before anyone . You have to love you before you love anyone. So wed break up id self destruct then Id put all my pieces back together the ones you broke. Id fix my self and I would get back on track I was moving on I was happy then just like that . One phone call at 10pm where you clearly to drunk to remember the conversation id be on a plane. Drop my job my home my family My friends … quite literally everything just to be with you . Just to love you. All I ever did in this world was so unconditionally love you. I thought I could hate you I did for a while . But I dont anymore . You where apart of my journey and it almost killed losing you but it was supposed to happen . It was part of the plan that god has for me. You coming int o my life brought so much love and bond that ill never feel with anyone else . I will never love someone the way I let my self love you. And when the lesson has finally been learned only then I can move forward to the next chapter. And your purpose in my life was love and lots of lessons and lots of growing . You think god doest hear your heart crying you think he gave up on you ya know , but he never did. In the end you’ll see there was such bigger picture. 5 years I spent going back to you and leaving you. Why did I always go back ? Because loved you but I clearly wasn’t seeing what god prepared for me. He wouldn’t believe his lessons or fallow his guidance so he kept bring ing me back to you so I could relearn and remember why I left and well you might be my soulmate your not meant to be in my story forever . Only a couple chapters . And once you’ve served your purpose to my life that god wants me to have experienced and learned I will be able to move forward. I first must let you go . And I finally am starting to. I got so unhealthy and so sad and so stuck and caused so many health problems to my body . So much that was almost to much to prepare. But I made a choice one day . I chose my self , and not you. I chose to love me and not love you anymore. I commented intently to my family and I mean really gave it my all. I learned that no matter what my parents wouldn’t never leave mom behind .and im going to everything in my power to be a good girl to them and build our love and our relationship . And I think that was gods purpose all along. You cant keep whats not for you . And I didnt understand that when we parted ways. I accept that now . And I know as I continue to stay on the right path god has such beauty waiting ahead for me… look how much I loved you and all I did for you imagine how much I will love the right man. I did alot. Every time we break up I have to fix my self . But I know now its all apart of the journey . All those trials with you just made me stronger it made me braver it made me wiser and it made men grateful for the good ones.  You breaking my heart was one of the best things to happen to me in the end. Because I never would stopped loving you I never would have left you behind. I would have always been your biggest fan and continued to love you till I ended up hating my self. You have the courage to set me free was the kindest thing you ever did for me. At the time I didnt get it but who I am now and what I ve accomplished for my self and how when you try really hard to be better and I mean really hard things kind of fall in to place. God smiles and says okay you deserve this you’ve learned you’ve grown . I manaaged to accomplish that goal of being close to my family . We are so close and we love trust and respect eachother so much . Our bond is very very strong . I managed to get my self too a doctor , I found out I complete sabotaged my health . And oh ya I have 14 allergies !!!!  And some of the effects of those allergies after time has caused a harmful build up to where I was 3 years away form being diabetic , my thyroid completely stopped working . Amplifying my anxiety and my depression . The last month. I was in az i would get sick a lot . Id eat something and get sick . The problem was I was so fuxking drunk all the time I didnt ever thing anything of it. I’ve destroyed my guy and its a blessing that wildly and randomly this doctor asked if she could test me . And we found a lot of issues and also got a lot of answers to a lot of my health issues. Im starting treatment for that . Ill be injecting my self every other day with medicine to help my body repair the damages I have done and it will also help fight allergic reaction and build immunity so this doesnt happen again . I also !!! Am taking my meds again . Different ones but im glad I chose to take this chance on them again . I figured if im going to  put my health and happiness first I dotn need to be drinking and If im not drinking a lot fo stuff is going to come to the surface and I don know how well ill be able to handle that reality. I also like I said thought. Was going to kill my self. I was so heartbroken so so so sad. I knew I needed help and I reached out and got. Now im happy and stable and I get out of bed and I have energy and im so present and to active. I work out everyday . I eat healthy and I lost some weight . My highest weigh t was 168 before our florida trip I got down to 147 , when worked for Linx I was 145 then after being with tj again my mental health went hay wire and I lost my self again . Completely lost. And when I got back to co I was 153 pounds …. I would shift from 145 to 147 … then I just stopped worrying about it and started doing something about it. I channeled all my sadness in to exercise . Im sad go work out im bored go work out im happy hey go work out get that good flow !!  Your angry you miss him what ever it was I worked out then it became all I could focus on cus I learned to love it so Much . I took on running again I put in the work . Things finally where falling into place . I was getting my self back and this time it was better then ever . Better then ever before . I unlocked this door and its been so beautiful. I one day weighed my self just to see assuming id be 145 I was 137 !!!! Wow !!! A week later I was 135 and today I am 133!!!!! Its so cool and feels so good to not be depressed not feel pretty in my clothes. And iliv Amy self. So much . I hope I start working at hooters soon and continue to have a great life. I finally got approved for unemployment and ally back pay and also and extra 13 weeks after mine runs out. Things are just happening . I wasn’t going to get any hadn’t outs . But I was at the bottom thats for sure and you know who was there ? Not tj not the guy you literally did everything for no not him . My mom and my step dad and my brother . They took me in . And it was hard and uncomfterable , but I just stopped going out stopped drinking as much . And did things for them no matter if they where mad at me or if it was awkward.i committed to being good fo them . And I knew it would take time . But little by little ive managed to accomplish all my goals . When I used to be the queen of quitting. I cant wait to see even more of what god has in store for me. And who I become . My skins cleaning up my body is losing weight I more active im healthy and im very in touch with my desires and my well being . I care and love and respect my self so so much. Its like a huge spiritual awakening. I love being alone . I dont feel like alone deserves me right now to be honest .Its gong to take a lot for me to love again but its okay . Not everyone deserves that form me anyway. I worked so hard to me this . To be who I am right now and I won’t let anyone take that away form me. You cause harm to my heart my well being just by !! If you disappoint me disrespect me or hurt me its done . You lost you dot meet my needs your not benefiting and there’s to many many and women on this planet . Ill never waist my time on the wrong one . Ever again. I respect my self to much to put someone over me! And I stand by that now and forever!!!  The new be is bette then ever and its gong to take a hell of a person to change my relationship status . And that cool im honestly not even interested . I dont care to date or hang out or hook up or even have sexual contact with anyone . Im so content with me myself and this beautiful transition im goin through I just want to focus on me and my family and my health. Because this is what its all about. This is what living is. this is life. This is beauty . This is whats important. I feel like im living . And im happy and im only going to get better and better. Thank you god for this life and thank you for giving me the strength to turn the page and start a new chapter on life. I fully trust you and the processs. And that brings me back to “god will never leave you behind” I needed to learn all those things that all may mistakes have taught me . And god has a way of constantly bringing things back Into your life if it has not yet served its purpose or taught you what you needed to learn.  I see that now. Positive mind set is very powerful . Loving your self is amazing and living through god is the best thing you can do . I will always you tj and I will always in some way wish there was a me and you forever .but I cant ever betray my self like that again. That door is officially closed.  See I thought my life was over when you said our relationship was over. But really it had just begun. Everything happened for a reason exactly how its meant to happen . Losing you meant I could finally find my self. It just lit up the path .  God bless <3 no angry  im happy and im I accept this and I forgive my self and you . Life is so Beautiful .

Some one very wise once said … -Life is not about how much you hurt its about how much your willing to suffer. ~VP

Im not willing to suffer any longer.  Except it feel it and then forgive and move forward.