#i kinda want to paint the first toothache one

[small-spark-of-light]

toothache wb doodles and also a kaz :D

[ellewritesathing]

Is It Love?

Summary: Demons don’t fall in love, do they? Especially not with pretty baristas that haven’t any interest in them ... right?

Word-count: 2.3k+

Masterlist

A/N: kinda crazy to think that Infernal is finished for now?? but you guys really love my fluffy clay boi so here’s some straight up fluff that is so sweet you might get a toothache tbh

Demons didn’t fall in love. Depending on who you ask, they didn’t feel emotions at all, but Caliban knew that wasn’t true. Demons felt everything so intensely that they became bored of it. They were volatile, oscillating between highs and lows at the blink of an eye. Demons were Molotov cocktails of emotion, just waiting for something to ignite them. 

And then you fucked everything up. 

No, you said, you wouldn’t go out with him because you had a strict policy against dating bad boys that had been in place since your first year of college. As if you knew anything about how bad he was. He took the rejection and his coffee with a smile, before walking out the door and stealing the first BMW he could find. 

Was it cliche? Yes. 

Did it make some very satisfying groans as the metal wrapped around a tree? Also yes. 

At the time, he didn’t know why it bothered him so much that you’d said no to him. You were human. You weren’t even his type - just a pretty barista at the only cafe he could find that made his coffee strong enough without burning it. Maybe it was because the coffee only tasted right when you made it and he was just projecting. 

Maybe he was just full of shit.

Other than giving you his order, he didn’t say anything else to you for weeks. He was a demon but he wasn’t a prick after all. But one night, he was there later than usual, lost in the pages of his latest book, when you set a large to-go cup on his table. 

“Sorry, angel,” you said with a smile. It didn’t quite reach your tired eyes. “We’re closing now but here’s one to keep you warm out there.” 

“I must have lost track of time,” Caliban said as he closed the book and started to dig the wallet out of his jeans. 

“Don’t worry about it. I won’t tell my manager if you don’t,” you said, waving him off. Caliban tilted his head to the side and parted his lips to say something clever he had yet to come up with when you beat him to it. “You’re here all the time, Caliban. I think if we used punch cards you would’ve qualified for a free coffee a while ago.” 

“Well,” Caliban said. He had a funny feeling in his chest, and the worst part was that it didn’t make him feel like committing acts of vandalism. Well, that wasn’t entirely true; almost anything made him feel like vandalism. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” This time your smile did reach your eyes and you laughed to yourself before adding, “Literally, I guess.” 

The next time Caliban went to pick up his order, a little handmade punch card was waiting on top of his coffee for him, your handwriting scrawled over the top. Ten ridiculously overpriced cups of coffee later, and it was you and him alone in the coffee shop. He’d waited until the end of your shift, trying to get as close to that chance encounter of last week as he could. 

He held the punchcard between his index and middle finger as he flashed you a devilish smile. Catching your eye, he lowered the card to the counter and slid it across to you. “So what do I win?” 

“A free cup of closing shift coffee,” you said, turning to the machine and dipping your head to the side as you thought about something. “That you can drink here while I clean up, if you want.”

“A conversation with a pretty girl and a cup of coffee or the chilling walk back to my motorcycle.” Caliban pretended to think about it. “Whatever will I choose?”

You laughed from behind the counter and rolled your eyes. “Settle down there, James Dean.” 

Instead of trying to say something witty, Caliban obediently pulled a chair up to the counter. He watched as you worked, not minding the attention he gave you as you did. Hands quick and nimble, relying more on muscle memory than active thought to work the machine. 

Over one very strong, very black coffee, he learned that you’d never left Greendale but you were working at the coffee shop to save enough money to leave one day. You learned that he’d been all over, and your face lit up whenever he answered your questions the way you’d hoped. As you cleaned the machines and he swept the floor, he told you about his favorite books and you told him about yours. You talked about music and the best hypothetical name for an indie band that only wrote songs about caffeinated drinks. 

(The Transient Coffee Beans was your best pick, The Bland Bastards was his.)

The tightening in his chest when you locked up the store made him want to set something on fire. He didn’t like these feelings - they were insufferably human - and he needed to do something explosive to get rid of them, or at least that’s what he told himself when you turned to give him another smile. You let him walk you to your car, cursing the cold but refusing to use the jacket he offered you. 

“No, no, no, no, no,” you groaned, kneeling next to your car. You felt around the deflated-looking tire and pulled out your dust-covered hands after a few minutes. Looking ready to cry, you turned and sat on the parking lot floor, back against the tire and head tilted up to the night sky. 

Caliban didn’t know what to say. Demons weren’t known for their empathetic listening skills, and it wasn’t like he’d ever tried to comfort anyone before. “Do you have a spare tire?” he asked when his horrible feelings started eating at his stomach in the silence. 

“This is my spare tire.” Weeks, maybe months, of seeing you working with the most high-strung customers and borderline incompetent trainees and Caliban had never heard your voice sound so strained. You took a deep breath and looked over at him. “You don’t have to stay here, you know. I can take care of myself.” 

“I don’t doubt that,” Caliban said, shooting you a smile that was very carefully lazy and mischievous. It made you laugh. It made him feel gut-punched. “If you want, my motorcycle’s right around the corner. I could take you home and you could fix all this out in the morning light.” 

Your eyes narrowed slightly in a way he’d never seen in the coffee shop. He tried not to seem affected. “What’s in it for you?” 

Caliban shrugged, looking around. “Another fifteen minutes with you.” 

You thought about it for a second before shaking your head and holding your hands up to him to pull you up. You weren’t even a breath away now. “Don’t crash into anything or I’m going to start spitting in your coffee.” 

“Deal.”

You absolutely obliterated Caliban with questions before you’d even take the helmet from him. Nervousness was a cute look on you, as was the slightly lopsided helmet on your head. Caliban’s fingers lingered slightly under your chin after tightening the strap for you, but all you did was smile before climbing on the seat behind him. 

Your arms wrapped hesitantly around his waist, but your grip tightened as soon as he pulled off. Every time he sped up or took a turn, Caliban felt your arms snug around him. It was a dangerous line to drive between reckless enough to keep you close and so reckless that you’d let go and never come back. 

It was pathetic. 

At one of the lights, Caliban stole a moment to look down at your hands. His shirt was wrinkled into bunches around your deathly tight fingers. You consciously relaxed them and sighed behind him, resting your head on his shoulder for a moment. It made his heart skip a beat. 

Like he was in a goddamned schoolboy fantasy. 

You were shaky as you climbed off the bike, clumsily getting to your feet and fiddling with the strap under your chin. Caliban didn’t say a word as you handed the helmet back to him; he was too busy staring at your helmet hair. The word ‘adorable’ came to mind, as did ‘arson’ and ‘absinthe’. 

“Well, thanks, James Dean,” you exhaled when he took the helmet from you, hands touching on the underside. “I might get flat tires more often.” 

“I do have a name, you know,” Caliban said with a not so carefully crafted smile. 

“I know. Quintuple shot espresso, no flavor shots or cream and, for the love of Mary, don’t ask if he’s sure,” you said, with a not so carefully crafted smile of your own. “At least, that’s what I tell the trainees.” 

“Bit of a mouthful, isn’t it?” 

You laughed and rolled your eyes as you started taking steps back to your apartment building. “I’ll see you around, Caliban.” 

Demons didn’t fall in love, that’s what everyone in Hell always said. But Caliban had left that life of torment and punishment behind for the mundane life of making art and committing crime. Any sort of thrill to dust off the familiar rush of adrenaline and ignite some sort of emotion. 

And then you fucked everything up. 

Okay, you said one day as you set his coffee in front of him, here was the deal: you’d go out with him, he’d pick you up at seven but if he was even a minute late then the whole thing was off. He said he understood, thanked you for the coffee, and jumped off the first bridge he could find (sure to teleport before crashing into the river below). 

He knew full well why the jumps and petty crime didn’t make him feel better. For one, they were shit coping mechanisms, but, more importantly, the feelings he had for you couldn’t be extinguished like a kitchen fire. 

His feelings were gasoline and you were a raging fire. 

They burnt bright and hot when you held his hand. Red-hot and violent when you kissed him. Sickeningly electric when your fingers traced his scars and told him he was beautiful. If demons didn’t fall in love, then what the fuck was happening to him? 

What was happening when you held him at night when he couldn’t sleep? (Butterflies. Or a heart attack, more likely). What was happening when you hid your face away every time he asked to paint you? (Stubbornness. He painted you anyway). What was happening when you drank a cup of coffee he made you and tried not to spit it up so as not to hurt his feelings? (Laughter. Also a promise to never, ever make another cup of coffee again). 

And what, if you excuse his language, the absolute fuck was happening to him now that you were away, visiting your family for a few days? 

He’d never been this restless in Hell. 

In Hell, he’d build a sandcastle just to smash it to bits if he got riled up. He’d find some poor soul to torment. He would never, ever cut the sleeves off his shirts just to burn the leftover scraps. He wouldn’t spend hours molding the perfect pottery piece just to break it back down to a lump of clay. And he sure as anything would never, ever drink this much coffee and eat this much takeout. 

It was embarrassing. It was unsightly. It was so very human.

And yet none of the dumb yet legal things he did got his mind off missing you - the only solace he got was the nightly video-chat you shared. He was absolutely disgusting. No better than the foolish lovers that washed up on his shores, joined at the wrists and praying for eternity. 

Not that he was thinking about eternity. 

Not that he was thinking about much of anything when he heard the door click open and a duffel bag drag across the floor of your joint apartment. 

Caliban tossed the book to the side as he threw his legs over the sides of the couch. You were complaining as you made your way to him - could he believe the amount of traffic at this time of day? Jesus, he’d think it was the Second Coming with all the fleeing out of the city - but Caliban didn’t care. Messy hair, wrinkled clothes, snarky upper lip; you were perfect. 

And you were home. 

He wrapped his arms around your waist and twirled you around the tiny apartment, accidentally knocking the table that marked the entryway in the process. Your arms tightened around his neck as you pressed a kiss to his temple before turning to check that it was only the keys that landed on the floor in his frantic need to be held. 

“Woah, calm down, James Dean,” you laughed when he eased you back down to your feet. “I wasn’t even gone for a full week.” You ran a hand through his matted curls and Caliban could swear he’d never felt more at peace. “Miss me that much, huh?” 

“Hard to find a decent cup of coffee when you’re not around,” Caliban mumbled, lips grazing yours as he leaned his forehead on yours. 

You rolled your eyes at his dramatics but didn’t pull away. Instead, you moved your hands to either side of his neck and pulled him closer. “I missed you too,” you admitted after giving him the kiss he’d spent days thinking about. You took his hand in yours and led him to the kitchen. “Let’s make you that cup of coffee before the world ends.” 

No, Caliban thought to himself as he watched your tired hands work a machine of a job you’d long-ago quit, demons didn’t fall in love. 

Luckily for him, when he was with you, he was something else entirely.

Tag List:  @caliban-is-my-girl  @t-a-i-l-o-r-m-a-d-e​  @music-movies  @miss--moose​  @marrypuffsstuff​  @harryscarolinaa​  @igorsbby​  @foji2000​  @mschfavngz​  @artaxerxesthegreat​  @thxmagic​  @luquincy  @strawberriesandknives​  @xealia​  @hotmessindisguise​  @olivia-west-allen  @sweetrogers​  @reheated-coffee​  @shelby-x​  @perseny-blog​  @millie-753​  @luneerius​  @shizzybarnaclee​  @lettherebelovex​

[purplesurveys]

916

What Rhymes With “AIR”?

1. Are the walls of your room bare or do you have things hanging up there? I have some things on the wall, yes. A few paintings, Audrey Hepburn wall decors, and a poster of Nam Joo Hyuk. I used to have wrestling posters but my mom, ever the control freak, removed them because she didn’t like them. Sigh.

2. When’s the last time you went outside to enjoy the fresh air? I went out this morning to take Cooper to the vet for his anti-rabies shot. I didn’t necessarily do it to enjoy the fresh air, but that came along with the experience as well anyway.

3. Do you watch the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? I started watching it this month actually! It’s super fun and Will Smith’s physical comedy is hilarious, but it isn’t really the type of show I’d binge-watch given how old the jokes and some of the tropes already are. I definitely don’t dislike it, but I just take longer to watch the episodes.

4. When’s the last time it felt like you were walking on air? Sunday, when I had my virtual grad and found out my parents and aunt and uncle got all my favorite food delivered to the house :) We had baked sushi, baked samgyeopsal, Pancit Malabon, and pichi-pichi that day, aaaaahhhhhh.

5. Have you ever been on air, on a radio station? Very briefly. One of our field trips in high school was a visit to a major broadcasting network, and we we were brought to their AM radio studio. The broadcaster on air at the time – one of my favorites of all time – welcomed us and gave us a chance to say hi on air.

6. Have you ever felt like all of the air was coming out of your lungs? Sure, but I guess it’s more accurate to say that I’ve occasionally felt the sensation of my chest increasingly tightening.

7. Has it seemed as though anything has ever disappeared into thin air? Have you ever pulled an idea out of thin air? The first one, yes. I have this stupid ability to drop a certain thing and have it disappear forever; I hate that it happens to me all the time lol. 

I can relate with the second situation as well; when I was still in school and had to write essays, reaction papers, anything of the sort, I’d wait till the last possible minute to start working on it since it’s by then that the good ideas start pouring in.

8. Have you ever wanted to be on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire”? Sure. I’ve enjoyed trivia for as long as I can remember, so the show has always been right up my alley.

9. Do you know a billionaire in real life? No. I know a loooot of CEO kids, kids of MNC owners/executives, and kids of political dynasties though...comes with the environment I grew up in and the schools I went to.

10. Would you like to be an heir or heiress to a fortune? I wouldn’t say no to that.

11. Would you be able to successfully get away if you ever came across a bear? The one thing I keep hearing is to stay very still, so I’d be doing my best to do just that. I got no other survival skills though and if there’s apparently anything more that needs to be done during a bear encounter, then I don’t know of them.

12. Where’s your favorite place to go? How long does it take to get there? Hmm I’ve loved going to many places. My favorite vacation spots so far have been Sagada - that’s a 15, 16-hour road trip from Manila; Vigan - 8-hour road trip; and Palawan - an hour or so plane ride from Manila. If we’re taking nearby places, I like going to coffee shops to unwind and have a pastry or two. I don’t have a favorite one; I just go to whichever one’s the nearest to me at the moment.

13. How often do you err on the side of caution? I keep it at a healthy 50/50. There are times I’m okay with taking a big leap, but if I’m not super invested in something anyway and/or if there’s not a lot in it for me, I play it safe.

14. How often do people say they’re angry with you? My life revolves around being a (very cautious) people pleaser and making sure I don’t piss off people. The only people who have told me they’re angry with me are my mom and girlfriend.

15. Do you own any long underwear? I have never heard of these until today. I’d love to live somewhere so cold I need to wear clothes specifically meant to be worn underneath my actual outfit lol

16. How much Tupperware do you own? I’m Filipino, man. Filipino moms practically make it their life’s mission to collect as many Tupperware containers as they can. I’m pretty sure we have a bunch that we didn’t even own to begin with - just magically ended up in our cupboard after all the parties and gatherings we’ve had hahaha.

17. What color is your underwear right now? Green.

18. Do you still sleep with a teddy bear? I never slept with stuffed animals; I preferred pillows.

19. What pair of your shoes has the most wear and tear? In my first year of college the only shoes I owned was a pair of Keds. Used it for everything and it unsurprisingly ended up being super worn out - soles got detached from the shoe and all that. I think we still have it here at home – still destroyed – but it’s been untouched for a while.

20. Do you like to play Solitaire? It was a great boredom buster game for me for a time, especially when phone apps weren’t all that expansive yet. I haven’t played it in many months though.

21. Do you or your family own a full set of silverware? We do.

22. What do you have to take everywhere with you? Phone, wallet, car and house keys. Because of school I’ve also developed a habit of accidentally bringing my laptop nearly everywhere I go – I brought it to the vet once, lol

23. Would you like to visit Delaware? Yes. Delaware actually stands out in my memory because I remember reading in a kids’ almanac many years ago that it was the first to become a US state. Ever since then I’ve kinda bookmarked the place in my head.

24. Last time you received dental care? December. My tooth had been hurting for a couple of months but it became absolutely unbearable by that month so I had to book an emergency appointment days before Christmas. I felt super bad for the hassled dentist (who doubles as a family friend, which made it more embarrassing)... but at that point I was crying myself to sleep every night and would wake up at 3 AM crying in pain, and I would’ve done anything for the toothache to go away. 

25. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? Somewhere brutally cold.

26. Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? I’ve never been able to relate to this question, lol soz.

27. Are you satisfied sitting here, taking this survey, or would you rather be elsewhere? I’m satisfied for now. I found more potential leads when it came to job-hunting and I’m not feeling too anxious anymore. I’ve been so focused on looking for corporate communications/PR jobs in the private sector that I forgot about the possibility of applying my skills in something I’m even more passionate about - museums! We have a few government agencies focused on museums, culture, and the arts and I definitely see myself performing in the jobs they offer. It’s even better because it’ll help me get my foot in the door in government positions, and as someone who’s indecisive about law it’ll be a great bridge to start with. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

28. Last time you sat in a barber’s chair? Early March.

29. Do you own any cans of compressed air? I’m not sure...had to look that up. Maybe we do? Idk. Dad will sometimes hoard random grownup stuff from the hardware store so I’m not ruling this one out.

30. Do you have a swivel chair at your desk? Nope.

31. Do you prefer an armchair or a rocking chair? Rocking chair.

32. Would you rather have a beanbag chair or a hanging swing chair in your room? Hanging swing chair sounds so hipster and awesome lol. I’ve had my time with a beanbag chair anyway.

33. What’s the last non-survey related questionnaire that you had to fill out? SSS form.

34. Are there any crimes that you feel make someone deserving of the electric chair? Not really a death penalty kinda gal, but if anyone had to sit in the electronic chair it’ll be people torturing and abusing animals for fun.

35. Do you know anyone who uses a wheelchair? Yes.

36. Do you know anyone who is on welfare? I probably do.

37. Do you play Modern Warfare? Nopes.

38.   Do you ever feel like life is unfair? It is, objectively. I’m a little pessimistic when it comes to this.

39.   Have you ever visited Times Square? No. I dunno if I wanna go there...it seems so crowded and claustrophobic, not to mention super tourist-y haha. I’d love to visit once just to see the bright lights and the giant ads, but I’d much rather be at museums and historical sites.

40.   Do you tell people to “take care” at the end of a conversation with them? Sometimes. I’ve been saying it a lot more often these days, for obvious reasons.

41.   Where is somewhere that you would like to move to? Canada. But I also feel like if I moved there immediately it would be such a culture shock in terms of the weather, culture, how far away I am from family, etc. and I doubt I would cope well. I suppose I can move to either Vietnam or Singapore first, as kind of like a baby step.

42.   What is something in your home that needs to be repaired? One of the stovetop burners stopped working last night and my dad’s determined to fix that.

43.   What kind of sleepwear do you own? I go to bed in just my normal home clothes; I don’t change to anything else.

44.   What skin care products do you use? Water. ;) I’m one of the lucky ones lol.

45.   Do you have any spyware on your computer? Nope.

46.   Do you own any sportswear? What sports? I have athletic shorts from when I played table tennis.

47.   Do you like Fred Astaire? Sure. I’ve only seen one movie of his (Funny Face) and he was a delight in that.

48.   How long does it take you to prepare a meal? I only ever make instant meals, oops.

49.   Do you know anyone named Pierre? Yes, Eva’s youngest sister is a Pierre. I’m just not sure if it’s also the same spelling.

50.   Are you going nowhere fast? I hope not. I’m giving myself a quick break for now after studying for 18 years straight but like I’m not out of ambition or anything like that at all.

51.   How often do you have a nightmare? Not very. They only show up when I’m going through a depression. My last nightmare was two or so years ago.

52.   How often are you able to catch something in mid-air? It’s unpredictable with me. Some days my reflexes are great but sometimes I’ll just be so clumsy.

53.   What do your lawn chairs look like? Brown and wooden.

54.   How many chairs are at your dining/kitchen table? Six; just right for our family of five.

55.   Favorite type of footwear? Sneakersssssss.

56.   When’s the last time one of your senses were impaired? From what? My left eye still gets irritated from time to time. We never really found out what’s wrong with it; my first checkup happened on the day before lockdown, so we never got to go back. When it starts to act up, I usually have no choice but to wait for it to go away.

57.   Have you ever been in a hot air balloon before? No. I’ve been to hot air balloon festivals though. That’s enough for me haha; I’m not desiring to be in one and be up in the sky.

58.   Do you have a good health care plan? My parents do for us kids.

59.   Last time you went to the hardware store? Months ago.

60.   Have you ever played foursquare before? No. I thought that was just a website. Oops.

61.   Do you own any types of eyewear? I’ve worn a pair of glasses since I was 11. I had needed them much earlier but my mom always thought I was being a sissy and just ‘wanted’ glasses to fit in with other kids. It was such a stupid mindset, and it was so stupid of her to not believe her kid WHO WAS STARTING TO NOT SEE. It was only when I took an eye exam at the school clinic and the school wrote her a letter that she finally believed me, but I had been suffering for a while and could barely read the chalkboard for like two years, which definitely affected my grades. 

62.   What brand of cookware do you have a lot of? Not sure about brands.

63.   Nothing can compare to: Having a complete, loving, and supportive family.

64.   Have you ever worked in a childcare center? I haven’t.

65.   Do you have a “beware of dog” sign on your gate? Nah. I usually say it myself. Kimi never got used to strangers.

66.   Have you ever attended daycare as a child? I guess you can say that? It wasn’t daycare per se but some malls used to have play areas/centers and my mom used to drop me off in those while she ran errands for a few hours. Those aren’t too common nowadays because I guess it’s more dangerous to leave your kids now, even with attendants, but they were a fun part of my childhood.

67.   Are you very aware of your surroundings? I’m honestly a little ditzy so no. I always need a more responsible, more street smart friend by my side especially when I’m going somewhere unfamiliar.

68. Have you ever had an au pair or a nanny before? We used to have househelp, but we never saw them as nannies. A vast majority of them never met my mom’s (extremely high) expectations and quit in a few weeks or months, sometimes even days; the few ones who did eventually wanted better lives for themselves and resigned after a few years, which we didn’t stop them from doing. At some point my mom gave up having help around and realized that ultimately, she’d rather clean up and do chores her way.

69. Do you know anyone who has had an affair? Yes.

70. How much are you willing to spend on airfare? I’ve never bought my own ticket so I don’t know how much they’re supposed to be on average...but I imagine I’m willing to pay a lot of money if it means going to the destinations of my dreams.

71. Who do you care about the most? The friends that I count as family.

72. Are you more likely to choose truth or dare? Truth. I’m too shy to do dares and I’ve never had a problem telling the truth anyway.

73. Have you ever seen the Blair Witch Project before? Yes, a few times.

74. Do you like the name Claire? Would you spell it with or without the I? I love it, it sounds elegant and graceful and it’s one of my favorite names. I prefer it with an I – I don’t know any Clares, actually.

75. Last time you went to a fair? Last week of January.

76. What can be done to make life more fair? Ending world hunger and poverty and making education accessible for all. 

77. How much are you willing to spend on cab fare? Not much. Cab fares should be fair after all.

78. Do you have a lot of flair? To some extent, I guess. I’m certainly not dragging myself down haha.

79. Do you own flare jeans? Nopes.

80. Is there a glare on your computer screen right now? There isn’t.

81. When’s the last time someone glared at you? Sometime in the last week would be a safe guess. My mom will sometimes communicate through glares and I’ve picked up the habit from her as well.

82. What type of hair do you have? (color, length, texture, etc) How often do you wash it? It’s black, quite thick, a bit on the wavy side, and has a tendency to get frizzy when it’s humid. Length-wise, it currently reaches just my collarbones. After a rebonding disaster around a decade ago my hair got a bit dry and it never really recovered from that, so I need to wash my hair with a giant blob of conditioner every time I take a shower otherwise it would get dry and hard.

83. Do you know the difference between a rabbit and a hare? I know hares are larger, but that’s about it.

84. Do you like to eat eclairs? LOVE them.

85. What do you consider to be your lair? My car has served as my safety bubble for so many depressing days in college. That’s why I got a little heartbroken when my dad told me he might have plans to sell it to my aunt (his sister).

86. A female horse is called a mare. What is a male horse called? A baby horse? Stallion; foal. Thank you, kid’s almanacs haha.

87. Have you ever used Nair before? Did it work? I used Veet in middle school when razors still scared me. It worked, but it took a whiiiiile and sometimes it wouldn’t even take all the hair off, so eventually I just started shaving. 

88. Has anyone ever told you to “grow a pair”? No, and no thanks.

89. What is something that you own a pair of? Dogs. 

90. What is a rare quality that you have? Other people will have to answer that. They’re the ones who see me and get to decide what’s rare about me.

91. Last food you pared? I don’t think I’ve done that.

92. Do you know someone who is a debonair? Sure.

93. Do you like to scare others for fun? No.

94. What is something that scares you? The idea of being in a plane crash, for one.

95. Do you like Sonny and Cher? Can’t say I’m a fan or that I’ve listened to anything of theirs.

96. Do you know how to share? Do you like to share? Sure. The only thing I’m a little selfish about is my food lol.

97. Have you ever played a snare drum before? A few times before, yes.

98. What do you do with your spare change? I give them to the tambays who help me get out of parking spots. That or I use it to buy food in school, since everything in UP’s cheap enough to pay with coins.

99. Do you know how to put on a spare tire? No. I’m interested to learn though.

100. Have you ever gotten a spare while bowling before? Yep, it’s happened a few times.

101. When’s the last time you wished someone would spare you the details? A week ago.

102. Do you win games fair and square? Sure. I’ve only cheated once and that was on an exam.

103. Do you know how to find the square root of something? Not anymore. I do have a bunch of perfect squares still memorized, though.

104. What are the characteristics of a square shape? Four equal sides that are also right angles.

105. Have you ever been called a square before? No. I don’t know what that means either, so if I got called that I wouldn’t know how to react.

106. Do you prefer the elevator or the stairs? Elevator.

107. Do you ever stare at other people? Only if it’s a bizarre situation. Once when this drunk guy got arrested in BGC and was being physical with the police, I stared and watched the whole thing. I do try to look away for most scenarios though.

108. How often do you swear? A few times a day.

109. Do you ever “swear on your life”? It’s not a saying that I commonly use, no.

110. What do you like to “tear up”? Eh, I don’t really like tearing up things.

111. What type of wares would you sell? Not interested in sales or business, so that’s a pass for me haha.

112. What kinds of clothing do you like to wear? I like wearing whatever’s trendy, as long as I genuinely like the look.

113. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare before? Never. [a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

[holy-hyuck]

High School Reunion

Asking your roommate, Seokjin, to be your fake boyfriend for a high school reunion is only good in theory - or is it?

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Reader

Word Count: 2.3k

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Like, a few swear words towards the end.

"Will you be my date?" you blurted out as soon as you saw Seokjin enter the house. His arms were filled with groceries, as he was usually the one making the two of you dinner, evidently just coming from a trip to the shop. He nearly dropped the bags, thankfully supporting them on his knee. You rushed in his direction, taking two of the bags and placing them on the counter in the kitchen.

Whilst he was gone shopping, you got a letter from your high school, reminding you of the reunion that would happen this weekend. The letter, of course, arrived late, so in reality, the reunion was tomorrow.

When your friend, the only one you've stayed in touch with after high school, called you this morning, he demanded you do actually attend. It was easy for him to say, as his life, even though rocky at the beginning, has taken a great turn. He now has a dog, a cat, a career in the dance industry, and a boyfriend who looks like a Gucci model.

What do you have? A job as a receptionist in a dental practice, where you have to deal with children screaming because of toothaches, and no boyfriend in a year.

You guess you could blame yourself. You were constantly busy; between the job, working on the side as a delivery person to save up for a better car and going back to painting, a hobby long-forgotten in your hectic life. Getting a roommate was Jimin's idea, actually, after he heard you wanted to save up money, and since he was friends with Seokjin - who needed a new place to stay - he gave you his number.

"I'm sorry...?" Jin started, clearing his throat.

"I kinda...have a high school reunion tomorrow and I don't want people to know I haven't gotten anywhere in life?" you rushed, scratching your head. "Does it seem weird? We'd only be going as friends but..." you trailed off, unsure of how to put it in words.

"Wait- You want me to go as your boyfriend?"

"A fake one!" you added in, just to make sure he knew. You realised you sounded slightly ridiculous, and told him with a short notice too. Plus, you were only good friends, but perhaps not good enough for him to do you this favour. He could also feel extremely awkward because you've only met a few months ago and you never even thought of dating him and-

"Sure," he replied, cutting off your racing thoughts.

"Re-really? Like, actually really? Are you-are you sure?"

"Do you want me to say no?" he asked, amusement clear in his voice.

"No!" you exclaimed, your hands shooting up in front of you. "I mean, no, I'd appreciate if you didn't say no." You gave him a sheepish smile, bolting to your room to text Jimin you were coming - leaving out the fact of who you were coming with.

You really weren't trying to impress anyone, you thought at first. That's why you opted for something along the lines of your usual attire; a white tank top, black jeans, laced boots and a bomber jacket. Jin wore a black turtleneck and a beige trenchcoat. In reality, you knew that whatever he'd decide to wear would look good on him, as it was him that was the best-looking part.

The two of you just exited the taxi, paying the driver and you spotted Jimin and Taehyung standing by the entrance. They both looked really good; but then again, when didn't they. You said hi to each other and Jimin pulled you aside for a moment, leaving Seokjin and Taehyung to talk with each other.

"You brought Jin? What the hell, (y/n)?" Jimin accused as soon as you were out of earshot.

"What's so wrong about that?" You pouted.

"That it's going to look like he's your boyfriend."

"And?"

"And he isn't. You can't play it off as being 'just friends'. Besides, probably half of the single people in there will try and flirt with him. It happens nearly every time I'm with him; men, women, teenagers who shouldn't know about the things they're talking about, you name it. You'll have to play jealous, besides, he looks too much like a model to be your boy-" he cut himself off, seeing how hurt the unfinished sentence made you feel.

It was true, though. He looked like a model, and yeah, so did Taehyung; except Jimin was attractive too, so the two of them just looked like the perfect couple. You were very well aware that with Jin's looks, his standards must have been pretty high.

And maybe you didn't think you were unattractive but compared to Jin... You knew he would never date someone like you. And you never thought about it either.

But Jimin - being your best friend - bringing it to light just hurt.

"I didn't mean it like that, (y/n)-"

"Geez, Jimin, I'm not gonna cry over it," you said, even though if you could just go the bathroom, you were sure a few tears would escape your eyes. "And I'm sorry I won't be honest out there, okay? But my life is probably the most ordinary thing there can be, you know? I wake up nearly every day at the same time, eat breakfast, go to work, come back, eat dinner with Jin, go to sleep. I don't have a job I like, I don't live the way I always wanted, I don't have anyone who loves me-" you stopped, sensing the tears that were about to fall, and you looked up to stop them, then back into Jimin's apologetic chocolate eyes, "-just let me have a perfect life for this night, okay? I'll go back to being a loser once this night is over."

Jimin gave you a hug, saying "of course" with a few apologies still rolling off his tongue, then the two of you made your way back to the two model-like men.

If Seokjin noticed your sad eyes and disappointed expression, he didn't let on, but Jimin definitely noticed the worried look he gave you. Jin placed a hand on your back, something you didn't think too much of, and led you inside.

Jin and Taehyung, although never attending this particular high school, were the sweethearts of this reunion. Be it their angelic looks, their charisma, or their extremely likeable personalities, but they made quite the impression on everyone there.

"So..." started one of your old classmates; the one who used to be a class president. "How are you doing?" she asked.

You were about to open your mouth to speak but another classmate cut you off.

"What she means is; who is that Greek god you came in with? Is he your boyfriend?" She looked back, eyeing Jin, who was chatting with Jimin. When he saw you looking, he raised his glass and gave you a smile. "He is, isn't he?"

You put your hair behind your ear, looking down to hide your grin, and nodded your head. You avoided looking up until you were sure the blush from your cheeks was gone; though maybe you were just afraid that you'd get caught in a lie.

And so that's how the night went. You lied. You lied Seokjin was your boyfriend; you lied about how much you loved him; you lied about the future you were hoping for with him.

You lied so much that when the night rolled to an end, you felt disgusted with the words that fell from your mouth each time it opened.

But everything snapped when one of your classmates was leaving with her boyfriend by her side. Seokjin's arm was draped over your shoulder, your back leaning against his chest, and at one point you swore you could feel his heartbeat quicken. You thought he would be a lot more uncomfortable during the event, but he proved to be at ease; about a thousand times more than you were.

"It was great seeing you today. Both of you," your classmate said, giving you a smile, and you knew that that sentence was probably on repeat for every person she's met today.

"You too," Jin said, extending his hand out, shaking it with her boyfriend's, before you could say anything.

Your classmate let go of her boyfriend's waist and hugged you. You were about to let go when she whispered in your ear, "I never thought you could score someone like Seokjin. Maybe you have more of it than you did back in high school."

She leaned back, gave both of you a wave, and - intertwining her hand with her boyfriend's - walked away.

This is what you wanted to avoid. Her. You remembered your first love, her brother, and how continuously she would remind you he was out of your league, but how you could try anyway. It wasn't until you heard him talking about his ideal type that you realised, it wasn't you. And all she really did was tell you "I told you so", because being comforting was not her thing.

This is how you imagined this reunion after you left high school; proving her how wrong she was, and that you could be with someone out of your league, that you could be somebody else's type.

Except none of it was real, and she was right after all. 

Forty minutes left until everyone would start leaving the reunion, and here you were, with a glass of red wine, out on the balcony, alone. You placed the glass against your cheek as you heard the balcony doors slide open, then close again.

You looked up at Seokjin, unable to help the small smile on your lips. "Having a good night?" you asked half-heartedly.

"Not if you're not," he replied, sitting down when you gave him a confused look. From where you were standing, you could only look down at his hooded eyes. He looked tired, but so did you; at least that you had in common.

"Then yours must be fucking crap," you said with a dry laugh.

"Why, what's happening?" When he looked into your eyes, they held sincerity. His gaze proved to be too intense because you looked down, tracing your finger on the ridge of the thin glass.

"I think I'm gonna leave early. I'm not having nearly as much fun as I'd hoped for."

"Please don't," he said, then realised what he said. "I mean," He scratched his nose in a cute manner; way too cute for a guy in mid-20s. "Just... It's not going to be fun if you're not here, you know. You brought your incredibly handsome boyfriend to show off, so what are we waiting for?"

You laughed, leaning on the railing, nearly dropping your glass, and you could hear Jin's laugh too. He was clearly pleased with himself for lighting up your face with a smile.

When you were done, you looked over at him and noticed him observing you with a smile of his own. You tapped on the glass with your finger, then placed it behind you on a wider part of the railing so it wouldn't fall.

"Sorry for dragging you into this," you told him.

"You don't have to-"

"No, I know. It' just... Since you're my boyfriend, I should be showing you off. That's kinda the point of bringing you here," you said absentmindedly and Jin's face fell. "Shit, I mean... I fucked this up, didn't I?" You sighed, rubbing your face with your hands. "It's just better if I go there and tell people that we're not together. I bet you could score someone tonight, besides...lying makes me feel bad."

You played with the ring on your finger, pushing yourself off the structure behind you but Jin stood up in a rush, grabbing your arm.

"I can't believe I let you feel so bad about something I've been wanting for weeks now," he told you.

"Huh?"

"I do wish you would have asked it for real, I really do. But honestly...even being your fake boyfriend is enough. I like it." He looked you in the eye. "I like you. So don't feel bad about this."

He gave you the sweetest smile, then brushed a nonexistent strand of hair behind your ear. "When I first moved in, I felt so foreign in the house, and in the town. Jimin assured me you were nice but I only ever had his words. But you are the best roommate I could ask for, and I've always been so fascinated by you, by the way you are. There's something about you, you know? You're just you but that's honestly more than enough."

You let out a breath, bouncing up and down on your tiptoes, unsure of what you wanted. Thankfully, Jin beat you to it.

He brought his hand under your chin and brought his lips up to yours. He gave you a prolonged peck, but his grin - stretching farther and farther - made the time between you cut short.

He pulled away eventually, and you almost whined, wanting to feel his lips on your for just a second longer. In fact, you could stay like that for the rest of the evening. It was far better than whatever was happening outside.

"You're right. Let's go back home."

Speechless for a second, you raised your eyebrow and smirked. "And what do you have in mind?”

"It's still not too late to grab a dinner, is it? What do you think?"

"I think I'd like that a lot," you replied, your hand somehow finding its way into his. The glass of wine forgotten, the two of you made your way into the building and towards the exit.

"Wait-" You stopped in your tracks, searching the crowd. "Where's Jimin and Tae?"

As your eyes kept searching, they nearly rolled at the back of your head when you saw them making out on a couch.

"I swear they're not usually like this," you whispered to Jin.

"Should we wait for them?" he asked, half-laughing.

"No," you said, looking at him. "It's our night."

And grabbing his hand again, you slipped out of the party unnoticed.

[ellieptical]

Getting a little self-indulgent

I often see that post going round about women being misdiagnosed because Drs don’t listen to them or think they’re being hysterical and I add bits to it but I kinda just want to talk about my experience here. This is going to be kinda graphic and teeth related. 

So when I was 7 I’d had some headaches/toothache for a little bit but not really done or said much about it and then one day my top gum started leaking pus and blood. A lot. Mum took me to an emergency dentist who said I had an infection and gave me some antibiotics. A few weeks, maybe even only a week later it happened again, a lot. So mum took me to the dentist who said it looked like some sort of cyst or something in the gum area, but sent me to the hospital to check. X-Ray or two later and it was diagnosed as a cyst in my upper maxilla with an adult tooth that had grown up instead of down and was pressing on the nerves around my eye .The orthodontist shortly before slipping and sending the anaesthetic needle through the front of my lip rather than into my gum used this exact phrase to a 7 year old “if we don’t remove it you’ll go blind” so I had it removed through a Caldwell-Luc operation (don’t google this when eating or about to have one), they removed some jaw bone and removed the cyst and tooth.  Boom all fixed. 

At 13 I wanted straight teeth, so I went to the orthodontist who took an x-ray and told me I couldn’t have a brace (I already had a retainer) because there was a gap in my jaw bone and I’d have to have a bone graft from my hip. So I declined this. I wanted straight teeth but not that much, this will very much come back to bite me in the arse later. 

I felt lethargic, unwell, sore, headachey, nauseous, tired, angry, achey, tight in the jaw for a while, through uni, and early work days. It got worse and worse, my jaw started to get stuck so i couldn’t open it, my neck would start burning, I’d feel like my shoulders were on fire, I’d feel so impossibly exhausted. I started going for tests it was not: thyroid, cancer, a tumour on my adrenal gland, kidneys, diabetes, ME, CFS, Fibromyalgia, hypoglycaemia. Ferritin stores result came back very low. Took iron tablets, this didn’t fix it. Was referred to Maxillo-facial (henceforth macsfacs) who deemed it to be temporomandibular joint disorder. The consultant who diagnosed me also had TMJ and said on a bad flare up he’d rather get booted in the balls. Well that pain level seemed to tally with the pain I was feeling. So I took the tablets and hoped I’d learn to live with it. I did not. The pain got worse, I missed days and days of work. I would have attacks of pain for no reason, nothing would trigger them, or there’d be a draft at work and all of a sudden I’d lose three days due to pain so bad I couldn’t speak. I’d forget how words worked, I told someone I liked their sheep - I meant shoes. I’d start trembling, and lose feeling in my hands and feet, I start slurring my words, I’d pass out. Then I’d be mostly fine, sore and achey but fine really. But I kept going back to my doctor, and off for the next round of tests. I finally went to see macfacs and I saw an old, white male consultant, who sat in front of me as I cried hysterically and explained to him that the pain was so bad that I was going to step in front of a bus because it was intolerable and I will never forget what he said to me “well, I think you’re probably exaggerating, it’s not that painful or you wouldn’t be able to do half the things you do” I sort of gold-fished, and he said he was standing by the junior consultants diagnoses of TMJ and that I’d “get used to it eventually”. A few months later I was sitting outside my BSL course when I had one of my fits, I couldn’t feel my feet, I couldn’t say anything, I couldn’t ask for help. I was terrified. It passed, I was exhausted but I got through the class. I walked home. 

I called my mum at 2am the next morning, screaming down the phone that I was dying and didn’t know what I was doing, I kept asking her for help but gave her no instructions or anything, largely because I didn’t know I’d called her and left a voicemail on her machine. I think somehow texted my housemate with just the word ‘help’. She came bounding upstairs and helped. She tried asking me questions but I was out of it, I was just screaming, and she called my Mum who was already panicked trying to get a taxi after being woken up by her only child screaming into her answerphone that she was dying. I guess my dad was in respite at this point I don’t know. Eventually my housemate called an ambulance and they did the usual questions and determined I was probably having a stroke. Spoiler alert: I was not. The ambulance came, and the little man on the bike, and the slightly smaller ambulance - it felt unnecessary for 4 people to come out but they did and it cost me not a penny BECAUSE THE NHS IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE!!!!, and they took me downstairs whilst I flailed about and reassured my other housemate whom I worked with that I’d be ‘in tomorrow just a bit late’. I don’t really remember too much except a) gas and air is fucking incredible! b) i kept telling my mum and the man with the bleeding face next to me that I’d left my keys at home and I wasn’t wearing a bra. I eventually got seen and by this point the pain was subsiding and I kept apologising profusely but the A+E doctor pointed out that I’d experienced pain severe enough that a dispatcher and 4 paramedics (one of whom really thought I should have been admitted for a brain scan not put through A+E but it was 3 am so...) thought I was having a stroke. Not to worry but here were some lovely drugs. 

A few weeks later I saw my doctor again who this time thought it might be ME as nothing else was tying in but wanted to just rule out anything neurological so referred me to another Dr who as I described things listened and then sent me for a different scan. I got a referral through to ENT because it turned out there was a piece of bone in my face that shouldn’t be there. Basically the boney part of the cyst from when I was 7, they’d only removed the soft tissue. So I had an operation and they removed that. Some of the pain stopped. I didn’t have the same issues but it still didn’t feel right. I ended up seeing a locum as my doctor was off with their own medical issues. I kept saying it feels like there’s some swelling in my face and so I got two courses of antibiotics because eventually they referred me back. Another scan. Then an appointment out of nowhere with macfacs. 

Turns out macfacs has done a lot of reshuffling because everyone is new and when I mention the old guy they all go ‘ah yeah, he’s gone now’ with the strong implication that he was a cunt - possibly my inference but whatever. Turns out I had a tumour in my face. It’s benign in almost all cases, mine included thank god, but it’s rare 3% of the population get it, and almost always men, and it’s aggressive it’s main deal is that it recurs. I had one when I was 7, in 2012 and in 2015. It gets into bone and takes over. It’s why after my first operation my bone didn’t heal and I have a hole in my jawbone now. Like I said... shoulda got that brace! They’d have seen what was going on then. So I had another operation at Xmas in 2015.  I had the bone inside my upper maxilla, removed and sanded down, the nerves scraped or removed, and painted with essentially embalming fluid, I lost a tooth because the fluid touched it. It was a joint op between ENT and macfacs. I have to go back every year for 10 years and there’s something lurking but it seems to be just the weird shape I’ve healed into but I’m not taking it for granted. I still get some pain and flare ups because my bone is still regrowing. I can’t feel my top left lip at all or a lot of my cheek either. I have a permanently damaged shoulder because of hunching with the pain. I know now because they told me that I had trigeminal neuralgia as a symptom of this tumour, which it’s rare that it would have a tumour as an underlying cause but I did. It can flare up from eating, from the wind on your face or from nothing at all. I explained to person after person what I was feeling and it took so long to get a diagnosis and a fix. The only reason I got it was because of my Doctor who listened and persisted. She’s a female doctor. There are three other female medical professionals in this story. The paramedic who thought I should have a brain scan, the A+E doctor who told me my pain was valid and the neurologist who listened and thought to send me for a different type of scan. They all listened to what I was saying, or slurring. My doctor kept trying, she didn’t abandon me, she really did everything she could. Including handing me copious amounts of tissues whilst I hysterically sobbed at her. So many of the male doctors I saw and see regularly now are lovely and so kind but I had to fight to get them to listen, they had to be shown evidence before they’d believe me. 

I am so grateful that this whole debacle was on the NHS it didn’t impact me financially, I was able to work, I am very aware of the privileges I have but it’s only now as I start to feel fully better (well, the iron is still an issue), and have a friend experiencing migraines so look up things for her that I start to realise how much shit I went through and how angry I am that something that should have been solved when I was 13 was only solved when I was 29. If you know something isn’t right with your body keep persisting, get someone to come in with you - preferably a man, change doctors if you have to and you have that luxury, ask for a second opinion. 

And finally, if one more person says ‘oh it’s like having a wisdom tooth out’ I am going to fucking put pressure on their trigeminal nerve!!!!