#i kinda like staying in and doing edibles which is peoples OTHER activity but we cant just do that all the time

[tayne-dot-exe]

was kinda high last night but very aware that I sounded exactly like the pjack post about not fitting into the gay lifestyle because guys only wanna play zelda. its my truth

[jayz4dayz]

Kakegurui character headcanons that are canon in my eyes (Part 3)

Midari: 

You already know this bitch has done hard drugs. She’s probably a dealer at Hyakkaou too ngl

Actually very intelligent and could get all A’s if she cared enough to

Canonly lesbian

She/they vibes 

Hardcore energy drink consumer. Monster and Redbull cans are all over the floor of her dorm room

If you simp for her… ya got mommy and daddy issues, luv-

Is physically touchy toward everyone, but lowkey recoils when someone she doesn’t know or trust touches her

Actively tries to annoy the shit out of both Sayaka and Yuriko as her way of showing her affection 

Night person

I can see her actively practicing witchcraft 

Favorite holiday is Halloween 

Probably has a glass eye somewhere but doesn’t bother putting it in because the eyepatch is a ✨look✨

Was the kid in school who ate glue or play dough 

Is best friends with Sayaka. Do not fight me on this

Needs to go to therapy. Honestly, who doesn’t in that school

Weapon of choice is her revolver, of course <3

Will often lay in Yuriko’s lap because Yuriko actually lets her. It’s one of her favorite things to do when she needs to unwind

Slytherin. 100% a Slytherin. 

Has at least one tattoo somewhere and nipple piercings too if we’re being honest

Can’t stand hot weather and prefers the cold 

Avid fan and listener of the band Mother Mother

Canonly almost shot a person on accident or on purpose with her revolver

Will flirt with Kirari just to piss off Sayaka 

Will flirt with Yuriko just to see her get flustered 

(Y’all can come after me all you want for this one) Has a crush on Yuriko

ESTP-A personality type

Has a pet tarantula

Most likely had a pen explode in her mouth while she was chewing on it in class at some point

Everyone asks “where is Midari?” but no one asks “how is Midari?” 

Favorite color is black or purple 

For SURE owns at least one choker 

Yuriko: 

Refuses to take hard drugs but has accidentally gotten high off her ass from an edible. Midari’s edible, mind you

Is the mom friend of the group 

Owns a minivan and drives Midari and Runa places

Has a dent on the side of the same minivan because Midari hit the side of it with a shopping cart that Runa was in

Nurse vibes tbh

Keeps her eyes closed because she’s lowkey blind and can’t see much anyway 

Ravenclaw all the way

Was a horse girl in elementary school 

Has either really beautiful emerald green eyes or average Hudson-river colored brown eyes. Will we ever know?

Is secretly a cat girl. Why else do you think I used that image in particular for her

Easily flustered 

Has a crush on Midari but is still confused about her sexuality 

She sure as hell ain’t straight tho. Not in that school...

An only child

Is struggling, but wears a smile regardless 

Stepped on a butterfly once and sobbed

Ya know... say what you want, but I get vegetarian/vegan vibes from her 

Avid hot tea drinker 

Has pollen allergies

Morning person 

Prefers warmer weather and hates the rain

Has spa days with Yumemi once and a while

Can’t lift anything heavier than twenty pounds probably 

Would be on the Volley ball team if she wasn’t head of the Culture Club 

Several girls in her club have a huge crush on her and compete against Midari to gain her affection and attention 

Has straight A’s 

Idk why, but I can’t see her knowing how to swim

Gets cold easily 

Wears kimonos even when she’s at home 

Enjoys reading classical literature

Also enjoys listening to classical music

Would never admit this, but she listens to K-pop 

Has a hidden talent for drawing 

ISFJ-T personality type 

Weapon of choice is a bo-staff (which is really just a broom stick)  or Midari

Can speak Japanese, Korean, and Mandarin 

Runa: 

Has absolutely done crack and likely a handful of other drugs 

Has a sugar addiction, but we already knew that one

G R E M L I N     E N E R G Y

Most likely has ADHD or ADD or both even 

I saw somewhere that said she’s 18?? Like, what?? She looks like she’s 12 tf... 

Asexual/Aromatic icon 

Hufflepuff vibes, but I can also kinda see her as a Slytherin

Jokingly homophobic towards Kirasaya and Yuridari 

Will drink nothing aside from soda or energy drinks 

Not a furry, contrary to popular belief. Just enjoys her onesies. Let her live her life jeez

Canonly a baddie 

Short, but will not hesitate in destroying your kneecaps 

Actually really close to the Momobami and Ikishima family

Plays video games with Midari almost every day after school since Aoi left 

Ironically uses “UwU” and “Ara, ara” but does not ironically call people a simp. Can you blame her? She’s surrounded by wlw

Will beat you in Mario Cart. Yes she will. I don’t care how good you think you are

Has managed to not break a single bone in her body despite her size 

Is good at every subject except for geography

Can’t drive, but owns a scooter which she’ll use to get to school if Yuriko is unable to drive her

Owns a pair of Heely’s with wheels  

Unironically wears socks with sandals 

Also wears crocs 

Listens to rap 

Is fast af. “Zoom, zoom, bitches!” 

Secretly a badass gambler

Gets approximately 2-5 hours of sleep each night because she stays up playing video games

Naps during her classes 

Listens and ignores whenever Kirari is pining over Sayaka and talking to her about it

ENFP-A personality type

I can see her owning a hedgehog for some reason, but also a rabbit 

Would probably get away with murder if we’re being honest 

Is not a natural blonde 

Two faced. Like seriously, don’t get on this bitch’s bad side. She’ll destroy you

[murdereraisuha]

Vargas Camp part 1

An attempt at a moderately-detailed summary of the story so far.  Mostly focuses on events rather than conversations cause I don’t have the time or Japanese skills for that.

The sports clubs are all going to have to attend a training camp in the mountains for 3 days where they will have to complete various tasks. Crowley promises to buy club equipment for any club that completes all the tasks, but Vargas says that any club that fails to complete all the tasks will be disbanded.

The morning of the 1st day, the students gather in the mirror chamber. The event guys show up in their new outfits. They discuss the outfits until Vargas activates the mirror and takes them to the dwarf mine, the same place we went in the prologue.

Soon after they arrive, Grim & MC approach the group. Crowley asked them to use the ghost camera to take pictures of the training camp. The ghosts are also here to assist Vargas. The first task for Vargas Camp is to set up their tents. However, for this task and the rest of the trip, the students will not be allowed to use phones or magic. Their phones & pens are confiscated by Crowley, who then returns to the school.

The group moves to the campsite and Vargas gives them a time limit of 60 minutes for everyone to set up tents. The equestrian club sets up theirs together by the river, the track and field club sets up theirs under trees. (this is where Otome Ayui’s translation part 1 ends, the rest is all me. Please take it with a grain of salt)

After 30 minutes, Jack and Deuce decide to work together. Epel and Ruggie also set up tents together and Ruggie praises Epel for his skillfulness. Riddle asks Sebek to help him but he pulls his side of the tent too strongly. 15 minutes left. Floyd complains about having a yellow tent and wants a red one instead even though, as Jamil comments, he’s already set up his tent. Floyd replies by saying Jamil’s choice of beige is too normal and tries to get Ace to agree. Ace doesn’t want to get involved. (Poor Jamil...)

Time’s up. Though there were difficulties, everyone managed to get their tents up in time. Vargas awards them with a Vargas Badge, which he & the ghosts will also award after other tasks are cleared. There will be 7 badges total that will be given out per club (if they clear all tasks).

Vargas proceeds to give them their other 3 tasks for the day.

collecting firewood and starting a fire

catching fish from the lake for use as food

going into the mines and obtaining a magic crystal (crystal? stone? idk lol). They have to get one that′s at least 1 centimeter and 3 grams heavy.

Each club talks about what they’ll do first/how they’ll delegate tasks. (personal note: I love the contrast between how amped up and strategic magift club gets, and then how right after that basketball club has the goofy music playing as Floyd & Ace talk about how they’re hungry and the group quickly decides to go fishing)

Grim & MC first go check out the magift club (minus Leona) getting firewood. They go back to camp and Ruggie shows everyone how to start a fire without matches or a lighter. Suddenly, a tree fairy (a name I’m giving it based on its appearance) appears and the students have to fight it off.

After the fight, Leona explains that during the time when the mine was active, there was a big forest fire. Since then, the fairies of the forest hate fire and that’s why they tried and will continue to try to stamp out any fires the students make. The students have to make sure to guard the fire.

Next, Grim & MC go to the lake and find Deuce & Jack. They’re not having much luck fishing. They spot a giant fish and consider catching it, but it turns out to be Floyd who has switched to eel form since fishing with a rod & having to wait is boring. After Floyd goes back into the lake, a water fairy shows up.

Once the fairy is defeated and there’s no more obstacles, the track & field club succeeds at catching a decent amount of fish. After checking in with a ghost, they go back to camp to enjoy the food.

Finally, Grim & MC go to mines where the equestrian club is. They talk about how to find magic crystals and the conversation’s technical enough that I’m just gonna wait for a translation instead of trying to understand it myself. Sebek finds a magic crystal and is loud about it. A fire fairy appears shortly afterward. They defeat it, Sebek continues to be loud, get the badge from a ghost. blah blah malleus blah blah.

Finally, we get to see basketball club at the lake, where Floyd has effortlessly caught 50 fish while the mobs have only caught like 1. Floyd goes back to human form, saying that he’s bored since the fish in the lake are all dumb/slow. Now that they’ve cleared the task, it’s time for Jamil to cook. However, he needs more ingredients other than fish to make good food, so he gives Ace and Floyd the task of gathering some edible plants. Floyd takes the area near the lake, Ace takes the forest. Ace talks to himself for a bit, there’s a rustling in the bushes, then horror music plays as something lunges at him and the screen goes to black and he screams. Floyd hears it and after some thinking... completely disregards it.

Night falls. Every club has completed their tasks & gotten the 3 badges in time. Vargas tells them to get a good rest, but also they need to have people stay up and guard the fire from the fairies. Vargas then talks to Grim & MC about how he will sleep in the dwarves’ small cottage and how they will sleep in a tent by the side of the cottage.

Jamil questions Floyd about where Ace is. Floyd says he doesn’t know and theorizes that Ace is skipping out. Floyd says he kinda wants to go too, but Jamil orders him to guard the fire and Floyd says that Jamil’s sounding like Azul.

Deuce and Jack go to sleep. Sebek yells at Riddle for napping by the fire but then says he (Sebek) will watch the fire. Riddle wakes Silver up and they go to sleep in their tents. Epel and Ruggie have a wholesome conversation. Leona continues to sleep.

Ruggie and Epel are woken up by the sound of the ghosts clanging frying pans together. Even though the sun’s not even out yet, Vargas declares it morning and hands out their tasks for the day.

Collect lamp fire flowers (灯火の花) for making a magic potion that can speed up the healing of scratches

Catch giant catfish that have been devouring the fish in the lake

Get another magic crystal, but this time it has to be at least 2 centimeters and 7 grams

The students talk about the tasks, then Jamil and Floyd approach Grim & MC with the mystery of the missing Ace. The end.

[thelittlestcheshire]

Is that HAILEY CHESHIRE “CHES” ELSWOOD? Wow, they do look a lot like KATHERINE MCNAMARA. I hear SHE is an EIGHTEEN year old FRESHMEN who is studying ENGLISH at Luxor University. Word is they are an ARISTOCRAT student. You should watch out because they can be IMPULSIVE and STUBBORN, but on the bright side they can also be ENERGETIC and LOYAL. Ultimately, you’ll get to see it all for yourself.

the basics //

Full Name: Hailey Cheshire “Ches” Elswood

Preferred Name: Ches Elswood

Age: 18

Birthday: July 19th

Zodiac: Cancer

Gender & Pronouns: Woman (She/Hers)

Sexuality: Bisexual

Occupation: Youtuber (two channels, a theme park history channel that uploads once a month (documentary style) and a DIY channel she shares with a friend she posts on the 2nd and 4th Mondays of each month)

Relationship Status: In a Relationship with Elliot Mills

Place of Birth: Paris, France

Hometown: Manhattan, New York, New York

Country of Citizenship: United States and France [dual citizenship]

Languages Spoken: French (first), English, Latin, Portuguese, and she’s learning Norwegian (she doesn’t think it’s enough to count yet) and she just started Russian

deeper dive //

Hobbies and Talents:

 ♡ Piano

 ♡ Archery

 ♡ Acting

 ♡ Singing (Voice Claim: Katherine McNamara (updated - spring 2021))

 ♡ Reading

 ♡ Forgeries

 ♡ Lockpicking

 ♡ DIYS (especially involving resin)

 ♡ Writing (not creatively though, essays, Defunctworld scripts)

 ♡ Video Creation

Favorites:

♡ Color: Pink (the watermelon paint color)

♡ Food: Cheap Chinese Food

♡ Animal: Tigers

♡ Drink: Cherry Cola

♡ Flower: Lilies

♡ Book: Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

♡ Holiday: Halloween (costumes) or Christmas (gift giving)

♡ Movie: The Shining

♡ Scent: Vanilla Bean

♡ Place: Her family's flat in Paris

♡ Quote:

“and though she be but little, she is fierce” - William Shakespeare

Bêtes Noires:

♡ Color: Dijon

♡ Food: Sushi (a lot of it has to do with that tuna allergy though)

♡ Animal: Domestic Cats, she can tolerate them but they’re one of the few animals she wouldn’t seek out.

♡ Drink: Coffee (it’s a key reason why she drinks it when she’s panicking, because who has time to panic when you’re too busy being offended by what you’re drinking? Not Ches.)

♡ Flower: Roses (she loathes them, dislike is an understatement)

♡ Book: The Hunchback of Notre Dame - Victor Hugo

♡ Holiday: Her birthday

♡ Movie: The Notebook

♡ Scent: Roses

♡ Place: Touristy Locations, she hates being around tourists ok

health //  

Conditions:

           ♡ Borderline Personality Disorder

           ♡ PTSD

Allergies: Severe Allergy to the Perciformes family of fish (tuna, mackrel, perch , and bass). Shellfish and salmoniformes (Salmon and Trout) are fine, but she won’t try any other kinds of fish just in case.

Sleeping Habits: Ches doesn’t sleep well at all, she has nightmares more often than not, and it’s rare for her to get more than a couple of hours of sleep.

Exercise Habits: While she occasionally skips leg day, Ches exercises daily because she needs to be in good shape for archery. Usually, she goes for boxing (with a dummy, not other people) but she likes hiking a lot as well.

Addictions: Alcohol, although Ches is currently in recovery

Drug Use: Occasional weed (edibles), but for the most part she avoids drugs

Alcohol Use: Ches used to drink multiple times of day daily, but now she doesn’t drink at all because she’s in recovery (attending NA and therapy) and has quit.

personality //  

MBTI: ENFP

Enneagram: 7w8 (The Enthusiast with The Challenger wing)

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral, occasionally bordering on Chaotic Good

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

Percy Jackson Parent: Aphrodite

Pokémon Type: Ghost

Pokémon Subtype: Electric

Winx: Light

appearance //

Height:  5′3 ½” (not at fc height)

Tattoos: One, Two, Three

Scars: None

Piercings: None

Hair:  Red (naturally). Ches dyes her hair from time to time so she has a current hair color thing in her sidebar (you may have to scroll).

Eyes: Green

Fashion:

♡ link to ches’s closet

♡ link to ches’s shoes

life at luxor //  

Major:

♡ English

Clubs and Activities:

♡ Archery Club

♡ Theater (Actress)

♡ Concert Band (Piano)

♡ National Honor Society

fun facts //  

♡ Ches is a former Carnifex student who came over to Luxor during the merge. You can see everything that she’s been up to during her time in the rp on her timeline page.

♡ Ches has a twin brother named Jonah who isn’t at Luxor.

♡ The Elswoods are rich. Top 25 Forbes list, 50+ Billion Networth levels of rich. In turn Ches really doesn’t think that much about money, and how much it actually means to other people.

♡ Valedictorian of Luxor Academy’s 2020 Class, she turned down Columbia’s English program to attend Luxor University.

♡ She doesn’t use her first name, ever. She doesn’t like it, and there’s a fairly high chance of her just not acknowledging you if you call her Hailey.

♡ She’s a bit of a closet nerd - if you look under her bed she has a chest of comic books, although she has NO idea how they got there if you ask her.  Do not question the R2-D2 shaped thing covered by a tarp in her closet. She also doesn’t know where that came from.

♡ Extremely restless, if you want her to sit still during a movie you better give her something to do simultaneously.

♡ Her purse is kinda like Mary Poppins bag, odds are she has what you’re looking for in it. She almost always has her multi-tool on her. She also tends to carry around a single shot nerf gun, don’t ask.

♡ She got her first tattoo while she was away from school, using a forged note of parental consent in New Jersey. (The not fragile one, the arrow was added later).

♡ She has way too many siblings, you can learn about them on her family page. (She has one more not listed, a still born half brother named Julien she learned about via her mother’s diaries. The rest of the children (excluding Emmett) are unaware.)

♡ Loves animals, a lot, sometimes to a reckless extent. She would try to feed piranhas, she does try to climb into enclosures with venomous snakes. She would steal a dog (as would her twin brother, so apparently they have more in common than they realize).

♡ If Ches makes a threat, take it with a grain of salt. Yes, she owns a blowtorch, no she won’t set you on fire even if she lights it in your direction. Your muse might not always know that - depending on how much time they’ve spent with her, but ooc just remember her bark is way worse than her bite.

♡ Ches has a Porsche that she got from her father for graduating at the top of her class. Although it’s currently not travelling with her because the cost of shipping a car is insane. Anytime she’s in Lake George though, this is her baby. (She also owns a Mercedes, which was her first car).

♡ I’m always willing to discuss my muses, so feel free to hit me up if you have any questions at any point.

a tl;dr history  //  

♡ Ches’s mother was murdered on her 8th birthday in front of her

♡ She was raised by her oldest brother, Logan, and is NOT close to her father really. She also helped raise her younger sisters and is very protective of them.

♡ The Elswood she is closest to is Emmett. He’s a big part of why she’s even here, as she’d followed him to Carnifex.

♡ Her first real love was James (an npc). They dated Freshman-Sophomore years. It wasn’t a healthy relationship, and it started Ches’s messy af relationship and fwbs pattern as she didn’t want to go through that again.

♡ Ches left Luxor in October of 2019 because her oldest brother (Logan), overdosed. He’s alive and doing well now, but she stayed in NYC until March 2020 in order to take care of things here.

♡ I strongly recommend skimming Ches’s timeline page before interacting with her. These are just the bare minimum basics, and there’s more things your muse may know on there.

wanted connections //  

♡ Exes (when Ches dates it’s not for long, but she’s definitely the type to be like “I’ll go out with you” if asked and then... dump you if she thinks she’s getting too attached. So her exes are either on good terms, neutral terms, or they probably dislike her a lot)

♡  Former friends with benefits (while Ches is no longer taking on new ones because of Elliot, I’m always willing to headcanon past things!)

♡  Friends (I am weak af for a good friendship plot, never be afraid to be like “hey can our muses be friends” the answer is legit always yes)

♡ Enemies (Ches can... be a lot so it’s not unlikely she’s pissed people off ok)

♡ NA Sponsor (I think it'd be beneficial for Ches to have a sponsor, someone she respects and trusts but not someone with a close emotional attachment. I'd prefer if the muse has been sober for two+ years, but we can probably find a middle ground.)

♡ Ex Friends (People used to be friends with but no longer is on good terms with, either as an aftermath of her addiction, the aftermath of her recovery when that starts, them just growing apart, etc etc)

[perfecttimeseleven]

Perfect Times Eleven Ep. 2 TRANSCRIPT

ACT ONE

SCENE THREE

(REMINGTON’s writing something down on a sheet of paper. She puts her pen down and lifts it up.)

REMINGTON

(putting her pencil down)

There. I think that’s it.

(DR. MORELLO takes the sheet of paper.)

DR. MORELLO

Oh, yes. These look good. Harvest, Ocean, Create, Change, Fight, Art, Family, Freedom...Joyce? Do you mean, like, the given name Joyce?

REMINGTON

Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s Joyce.

DR. MORELLO

Not “choice” or “joy” or something?

JAY

Boyce? Like the actor in Jessie? RIP.

DAISY

(loudly, from another room)

What about, like, “guys” but in a really weird accent? Like, goiys?

REMINGTON

Nope. Uh, Joyce.

JAY

Hey, uh...

DR. MORELLO

What?

JAY

Nah, it’s probably unrelated.

DR. MORELLO

Um. Well, it’s a good leaping off point. Joyce, or whatever the word actually is, can be the first word you concentrate on.

REMINGTON

The word is Joyce.

DR. MORELLO

Jay here can lead you through how to do it.

REMINGTON/JAY

What?

JAY

Hey, you know I’ve been having some trouble with my head people...

DR. MORELLO

Which is exactly why you could use the practice.

REMINGTON

Jay? W-We’re paying good money — I assume — for you. The doctor. Not the random kid.

DR. MORELLO

She works as an, uh, unpaid intern. Remington, this is a seven-day retreat. Did you really think I, personally, would have the strength to lead you in everything twenty four-seven? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go check on Daisy and take my medications.

REMINGTON

Oh! Okay, yeah, that’s...that’s kinda important.

(DR. MORELLO gets up and exits.)

JAY

Why the…pastels…on the shirt?

REMINGTON

For fuck’s sake, I can’t believe you’re nagging on my outfit when your friend Daisy is dressed like a goddamn tie-dye Fruit Rollup.

DAISY

(loudly, from another room)

It’s gay wrath month, dipshit.

JAY

Okay, man, I don’t wanna be here and you don’t either. So let’s just get this over with.

REMINGTON

Or we could take a break.

JAY

A break? From learning vital information about literal voices in your head?

REMINGTON

C’mon, lighten up a little! I’m spending the week here, so let’s, ah,

(leans in, makes a clicking noise with her mouth)

get to know each other.

JAY

What?

REMINGTON

Like, okay. Hmm...

(trying to think of an icebreaker)

when did you first become Dr. Morello’s patient or unpaid intern or whatever?

JAY

Uh, after my mom died in a fire that burned down our house.

(Beat.)

REMINGTON

Oh. Oh, shit. Um. Sorry.

JAY

Don’t be. You didn’t kill her.

(Beat.)

JAY

Dr. Morello’s been taking care of me since.

REMINGTON

That’s nice of him.

(Beat.)

Nice shirt.

JAY

Oh! You…you’ve seen Daisies?

REMINGTON

Ha! No. What do you take me for, an intellectual? The shirt makes you look angsty and hot. I mean, the movie I don’t give a shit about.

JAY

Oh, well, blame me for thinking complimenting a shirt that’s got nothing but a film still on it means you’ve seen the fucking film.

REMINGTON

I didn’t say nice screenshot, dumbass, I said nice shirt.

(Beat.)

JAY

You’re a little shit, you know that?

REMINGTON

Yes. As a matter of fact, I do.

(4. No Room.)

REMINGTON

WHY DO I LIKE GIRLS WAY OUT OF MY LEAGUE?

WITH…MOODY VIBES AND SLICKED BACK HAIR?

WHY DO I LIKE GIRLS WHO LOOK LIKE 80S FEMME FATALES?

GIRLS WITH CHIPPED BLACK NAIL POLISH AND A SCINTILLATING GLARE?

WHY DO I LIKE GIRLS WHO COULD BEAT ME UP?

AND, BY THE WAY SHE’S LOOKING AT ME, PROBABLY WOULD?

WHY DO I LIKE GIRLS WHO COULD FORGET ME IN A WEEK

AND, KNOWING MYSELF, PROBABLY SHOULD?

RELATIONSHIPS ARE SHIT. LOVE IS A HOAX.

LOVE WILL BETRAY YOU AND LEAVE YOU OUT TO DRY.

ONLY THREE PEOPLE ACCOMPANY ME FROM BIRTH UNTIL DEATH:

ME, MYSELF, AND I!

AND, WELL, THE PEOPLE IN MY HEAD.

CALL ME SELFISH! WELL, IT’S TRUE.

GOT NO ROOM IN MY HEAD FOR YOU.

JAY

WHY DO I LIKE GIRLS WHO THINK THEY’RE THE SHIT?

WHO FLIRT WITH EVERYONE THEY SEE?

WHY DO I LIKE GIRLS I ALSO WANNA PUNCH IN THE FACE

THE MOMENT THEY GET A BIT CLOSE TO ME?

WHY DO I LIKE GIRLS WHO BEHAVE

LIKE A 2000S HIGH SCHOOL SITCOM TROPE?

WHY DO I LIKE GIRLS WHO ARE DUMB AND SHALLOW?

GIRLS WHO LACK ALL COMMON SENSE BUT STILL HAVE HOPE?

FEELINGS ARE SHIT. LOVE IS A HOAX.

LOVE WILL KICK YOU IN THE SHINS, SPIT IN YOUR EYE!

ONLY THREE PEOPLE ACCOMPANY ME FROM BIRTH UNTIL DEATH:

REMINGTON/JAY

ME, MYSELF AND I!

…AND THE PEOPLE IN MY HEAD.

CALL ME SELFISH! WELL, IT’S TRUE.

GOT NO ROOM IN MY HEAD FOR YOU.

SOME PEOPLE FIND ONE PERSON THEY GIVE HOURS OF THEIR LIFE TO.

ONE PERSON WITH WHOM THEY SHARE A BIT OF THEIR PRIME.

ONE PERSON TO CARE ABOUT MORE THAN THEMSELVES.

ONE PERSON WHO COULD BREAK THEIR HEART AT ANY TIME!

WHAT’S WORSE? MARRIAGE! GOD, THE LEVEL OF TRUST!

THE LEVEL OF ATTRACTION THAT EXCEEDS SIMPLE LUST!

ONE PERSON TO EXCHANGE VOWS WITH, ONE PERSON TO TIE YOU DOWN,

JAY

ONE PERSON YOU TRY TO CONVINCE YOURSELF WILL ALWAYS BE AROUND!

REMINGTON/JAY

IF ANYONE WERE TO

JAY

KILL YOU, LIE TO YOU,

REMINGTON

MOCK YOU, MAKE YOU FROWN,

REMINGTON/JAY

USE YOU, ABUSE YOU,

JAY

OR, ‘CAUSE OF A MESSED-UP KID, SKIP TOWN,

REMINGTON/JAY

DON’T YOU THINK IT’D BE THE PERSON YOU LET YOUR GUARD DOWN FOR?

LOVE’S THE BIGGEST LIE SOCIETY FEEDS US.

AND IF ANYONE COULD GET THAT, I FEEL LIKE SHE MIGHT

SHE KNOWS ONLY THREE PEOPLE ACCOMPANY YOU FROM BIRTH UNTIL DEATH:

ME, MYSELF, AND I!

REMINGTON/JAY

GOT NO ROOM IN MY HEAD FOR YOU.

GUESS THAT’S WHY I LIKE GIRLS WHO DON’T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING.

‘CAUSE I KNOW THEY WON’T CARE ABOUT ME.

EVEN IF THEY’RE ASSHOLES, THEY WON’T RUIN MY LIFE.

JUST FLIT IN AND OUT OF IT WITHOUT APOLOGY.

ACT ONE

SCENE FOUR

(There are sounds of DAISY moving around in a kitchen, baking cookies. DR. MORELLO enters.)

DAISY

Oh, hey!

DR. MORELLO

Oh, that looks pristine.

DAISY

(endearingly at freshly baked tray of cookies)

Ohh, she is.

(looks up at DR. MORELLO)

Escaped the masses?

DR. MORELLO

(tired)

Tell me why is it I have to put up with teenage girls for hours on end again? No offense to you. You’re the most bearable of the three.

DAISY

It’s your job.

DR. MORELLO

Ah.

(DAISY puts on oven mitts and heads over to the oven, before opening the oven and taking out another tray of perfect, round, golden-brown sugar cookies.)

DR. MORELLO

Oh, that smells phenomenal!

DAISY

(taking the tray to the counter)

Look at us. Aren’t we little housewives. Making some cookies for them as they probably are making out outside.

DR. MORELLO

“Making out”? Oh, Daisy, get your mind out of the gutter.

DAISY

(getting plates) Better get used to the thought. It’s gonna be reality sooner or later if it hasn’t happened already and you know it.

(DR. MORELLO pauses and sighs.)

DR. MORELLO

I do hope you’re wrong. I don’t like the looks of that girl. Jay acts all tough, but she’s already been through so much...

(pauses)

Are you all right, by the way? I know none of us expected this, but —

DAISY

I’m fine.

(sets a plate in front of DR. MORELLO)

Really. Hey, do you want to try one of these? I upped the amount of vanilla extract, so...don’t hesitate to tell me if I’ve committed an atrocity against mankind.

(DR. MORELLO takes a bite.)

DR. MORELLO

Oh, no, delicious as ever! Keep up the good work. I’ll go ahead and order pizza for dinner — cheese is safe?

DAISY

Cheese is safe.

(louder)

Hey, Remy Ratatouille, do you like cheese?

REMINGTON

(loudly, from another room)

Of course I do! What kind of depraved life do you assume I lead?

(DAISY shrugs at DR. MORELLO, who nods.)

DR. MORELLO

Cheese is safe.

(DR. MORELLO exits. 5. Sugar Cookies.)

DAISY

SUGAR COOKIES!

EDIBLE GLITTER ON TOP.

BOUGHT IN A COLOR CALLED “HOLOGRAPHIC SKY.”

GOT THE LAST JAR OF IT STILL LEFT IN THE SHOP;

GRABBED IT RIGHT BEFORE A REAL TOUGH-LOOKING GUY.

BEING HOMESCHOOLED IN A WAY,

I’VE FOUND ACTIVITIES TO WASTE MY DAY,

MY FAVORITE OF WHICH, I HAVE TO SAY,

IS MAKING SUGAR COOKIES!

(starting to spread the frosting onto the cookies)

SUGAR COOKIES!

THEY’RE GLUTEN FREE!

HAVEN’T MADE SUCH A BIG BATCH IN A WHILE.

WELL, IT’S A LITTLE EXTRA. Y’KNOW, FOR THE NEW KID

IN THE WEIRD SUIT, WITH THE WEIRD SMILE

WHO’S EXACTLY JAY’S CUP OF TEA.

GOD, WHEN WILL SOMEONE MY TYPE SHOW UP FOR ME?

SOMEONE TO IMPRESS WITH MY ONLY SKILL IN LIFE:

MAKING SUGAR COOKIES.

AND I’LL TRY TO KEEP IT OUT OF MY MIND THAT SHE’S AN ELEVEN.

BREATHE IN THE SMELL OF GRANULATED SUGAR INSTEAD!

IF I MEASURE THIS RIGHT, THEY’LL TASTE LIKE HEAVEN!

THE FROSTING’S GOTTA BE

AT THE RIGHT CONSISTENCY.

LET’S SEE HOW MANY I STILL NEED TO FROST!

(counting)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10...11. God!

AND I’LL TRY NOT TO THINK OF WHAT THAT NUMBER IMPLIES.

SPREAD SOME GLITTER. “HOLOGRAPHIC”! GREAT, YES, JUST A PINCH.

STOP THINKING THIS GIRL’S DOOMED TO AN INEVITABLE DEMISE?

PUT THEM ON A PLATE ALL PRETTY — GOD, I’M FEELING SHITTY!

SUGAR COOKIES!

I CAN MAKE ‘EM WHOLE-GRAIN!

TRY TO MAKE SURE I’M NOT GOING INSANE!

SUGAR COOKIES ALL FOR THE GUEST —

HOPE YOU STAY ALIVE LONGER THAN THE REST!

STAY OUT OF SIGHT, DON’T MEDDLE, YEAH, THAT’S WHAT I’D SUGGEST!

AND OH...TAKE A SUGAR COOKIE.

[joecial-distancing]

2019 in review in review:

A few years ago I started tracking yearly goals, books read, movies watched etc in a year, along with overview blurbs, in private posts. End of 2019/beginning of 2020 I was really frazzled/burned out about a lot of stuff and just never finished up making the thing. 8 months later, got the urge to read back what I’d got done, then figured I’d maybe go ahead and see about finishing. 

Media tracking below the break. thoughts/blurbs written in 2020 italicized, 2019 not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_____________________________~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Didn’t do so hot on explicit personal goals, but had a lot of stuff go ok around them this year.

School’s been fine/better than fine.

Job’s probably the biggest failing. Still with same job, haven’t made the firm moves to jump off, dragging my feet too much on exploring stuff w/ Columbia/NASA GISS.

Did not get better with covid, lol

Dating life still non-existent, but I’ve registered on apps, gotten more comfortable with selfies, improved general social life dramatically, been flirted with, updated my wardrobe, and generally started to get comfortable accepting that I’m a hot person.

Somehow got extremely better during covid.

Books

Grant (finished)

We stan a taurus legend

Guy was good at exactly one job, and was fortunate enough to have been in the right place/right time to get to do it.

Mort (discworld)

Definitely best discworld I’ve gotten to so far.

Don Quixote p. II

Really entertaining in a way that part 1 wasn’t; I was shocked how much the meta element landed for me.

Consider the Lobster (DFW collection)

had zero context on who DFW is/was when I read, and still don’t exactly tbh. Wanted to wait for a pause in The Discourse before diving into more of him, but dunno if I’m ever going to get that.

Crime and Punishment (revisited)

Weirdly didn’t get much more out of this than I did the first time I’d read it

Better Than Sex (HST Gonzo papers)

Xerox/widespread fax accessibility opening citizen access to mass media in a manner really reminiscent of what social media would go on to do at a much larger scale. Has a much more deliberate narrative arc than the other gonzo papers collections, also has that excellent HST richard nixon eulogy

The Brothers Karamazov

SPQR

Slouching Towards Bethlehem (Didion collection)

Pet Sematary

Not my favorite King, but not bad

Sourcery (discworld)

still funny/charming, but Mort really made clear/reminded me how much the hapless sadsack Rincewind mold of protagonist wears on me after a while.

The Devil's Teeth

My Year of Rest and Relaxation

Liked it a lot more once I realized it was doing a Fear and Loathing thing.

Homage to Catalonia

This should be the Orwell that gets taught in schools. Make it a followup to All Quiet on the Western Front or something, jeez.

Lyndon Johnson I

Having now finished all of them, this one’s probably the least-interesting but sets up a bunch of important context that the others still then feel the need to retread.

The Razor's Edge

Recommended to me as a “white guy discovers eastern mysticism” book, but also is more interesting in its treatment of that than I’d expected (helps it was written in the 40s). 

Cat's Cradle

There’s a part in this where Vonnegut’s making fun of people who try to bond with strangers over being Hoosiers, and my dumbass immediate thought was “ooh, Vonnegut’s a hoosier? Me too!”

Lyndon Johnson II

Robert Caro felt compelled to apologize for spending so much words lionizing Coke Stevens, segregationist opponent to Johnson’s senate run. His goal was pretty clearly to show lbj’s lack of campaign charisma by contrast, definitely definitely overcommitted in his own narrativising.

Libra

I want to go back to this after reading some more De Lillo.

Gravity's Rainbow

This book absolutely kicked my ass

Overstuffed and referential in a specific way that really keeps me hooked in instead of put off. When I learn about some piece of cultural context that I retroactively recognize as being referenced in this, I want to go back and reread the entire thing.

From Caligari to Hitler

Kind of fails both as film criticism and cultural analysis, but absolutely made me want to run for the hills when considering current relationship between mainstream movies and demands of pop culture.

I took a class on Weimar cinema in undergrad that I now realize was probably biting pretty heavily from this and never once referenced it.

Movies

Venom

Movie itself is not as fun as the Tom Hardy hype coverage. PG13 was the absolute worst space to aim for, PG- or R- versions of this could have been a blast.

Harryhauser Argonauts

Was tripping when I put this on, and it was all kinds of fun.

2001: a Space Oddyssey

First time seeing this, all-time classic for a reason!

A Good American (the NSA doc)

Dr. Strangelove

Mel Brooks History of the World p. I

Not my favorite Brooks, best joke was at the beginning.

In Bruges

Had been a while since I saw a proper dark comedy.

Spiderverse

Fukkin awesome!

Visually great, and extremely better than usual superhero stuff for being aimed at PG instead of PG-13.

You Only Live Twice

Highlander (Revisited)

I watched The Old Guard on netflix recently and it mostly just made me wish I was watching Highlander instead, because at least Highlander knows exactly how goofy it is

Moonraker

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Much like The Shining, I though this would have been 100% spoiled for me by cultural osmosis, but turns out it wasn’t, and even the scenes I had seen *totally landed* in-context still.

Kung Fu Hustle

Ichi the Killer

Really gross, really fun

Matrix Reloaded (watched thru highway scene) (Revisited)

The highway scene was not nearly as cool as I remembered it being.

John Wick 3*

Probably dumbest plot of all of them, best choreography. I like how every single fight had its own distinct flavor. “Knife museum fight” “horse fight” “halle berry dogs fight” 

Akira

A classic

Pet Sematary * (ugh, bad)

Why can’t john lithgow be in good movies anymore

The Revenant

MCU Spiderman

Fuck this was awful.

MCU Spiderman 2*

Really weird, complete Rorschach Test of a movie: it’d be totally valid to read into this that global warming is Fake News, for instance.

Lmao this was completely awful

Rites

Dredd (non-stallone)

oh hey Lena Headey’s in this

For All Mankind!

Watched in honor of moon landing anniversary

Lion King *

Watched it way too stoned, was like dark side of the moon + wizard of oz except instead it’s a lion king script reading + nature footage edited for lip syncing.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood *

Many scenes of very long setups for really stupid shaggy dog jokes, which sometimes worked and sometimes didn’t. I do kinda want to rewatch now knowing more about manson, which I knew pretty much nothing about beforehand

Blowout

A good john lithgow movie

also I think I like travolta in things.

Lord of War

A Good cage movie

I like when Eamon Walker shows up in stuff.

Taxi Driver

A classic

Snowpiercer

Watched in a bar with only one speaker working, which is the correct way to watch. Weirder and funnier than I thought it was going to be, which still doesn’t make it good, but,

dbz big green dub

Exorcist III

Brad Dourif just tearing it apart

Deep Red (argento)

Suspiria (1977)

Watched the remake in 2020, which was ok, but nothing tops the Goblin score.

Elf Bowling

Thanks, Gnome

Parasite *

Interesting to me that this one seems poised to hang around people’s good esteem for a while

TV

FMA: B

Rick & Morty

Saw some episodes, generally pretty funny, some misanthropy that’s probably appealing to a certain type of teen al a something like House, but ultimately I don’t totally Get the intensity of discourse about it.

Leterkenny

Mob Psycho 100

One Punch Man

Deadwood

Watchmen

Only watched like half of it. Was playing around with a lot of hefty imagery/thematics, but didn’t really seem ready to rise above playing (tho also I feel like it’s weird on some level to *expect* them to rise above that in the first place)

Music

New Avantasia

HEALTH/ show

lol remember concerts

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard/ show

Just learned about King Gizz in 2019 and got completely obsessed with them. I don’t tend to expand my music selection very readily, and a lot of what I currently *do* know is old/inactive stuff, so it was/is incredibly exciting to have an active group with good momentum just immediately win me over like that.

Mistimed the edibles and ended up with a really good finale and a really long subway ride home.

New Yeasayer

Sad they split up

Steve Wilson Tull remixes

Aqualung’s a good album and the sound mixing’s kinda bad, so I liked this project.

Stonefield

Opened for Gizzard. Really good as studying music

Video Games

Civ VI: Gathering Storm

Hades

Turns out Supergiant’s design proclivities all work *extremely well* on a roguelike

Baba is You

Untitled Goose Game

Cute, if maybe a bit overhyped

finally fucking finished Pillars of Eternity

Had fun with it, but too long, and really dour for how long it is.

Pillars II

Kinda drifted off it eventually, but I do genuinely like that the flavor of the fantasy is colonial era rather than medieval.

There’s a Balancing Bastard Factions element where it’s like the writers are just being smartasses after a while. Having to go extremely out of their way to make siding with colonizers seem like a competitive option.

Pokemon shield

Cuphead

pisses me off, which was a nice outlet when I was stranded by flight cancellations during thanksgiving

Celeste

Also very difficult, but really easy to stay patient with, which is nice.

Disco Elysium

None of the discourse made me want to play this, but people talking about the mechanical stuff it did got me extremely interested. Mostly Delivered IMO.

Breath of the Wild

You can approach the nodes of the main quest in the order you choose, and the second one I chose made ninjas start fucking spawning everywhere when I’m just trying to explore, and there’s no way to make it stop. May go back to it one day.

Podcasts

Relentless Picnic Patreon feed

The treats really helped me start distinguishing individual personalities, compared to the regular eps.

Picnic Discord!

<3

FatT Counterweight

Fun, but also I think Mechs are not my shit.

FatT Spring in Hieron/ end of that particular world

8 months since I’ve last tuned into FatT. ah well.

Law School

He’s in everythiiiing!

You Must Remember This: Manson family

*There’s* the context

Misc.

Kindle train guy

Times Square sleeping guy + kids taking selfies w/ him

toddler singing along after Psycho killer (a, ya, ya ya, ya)

drunk and dragged to a drag show

Central park football family

Soft Steel Drum Subway Busker

Weird old lady going to grand central for oysters

2018 in review (cards):

MySelf (CC)

Self: Tower

Blocked: 10 Cups

Ethereal/subconscious: 8 Swords

Material: 3 Swords

Past: Justice

Future: Page Wands

Attitude: Sun

External: King Swords

Hopes/Fears: 5 Coins

Trajectory: High Priestess

Also Self:

Hierophant

7 Cups

7 Coins

Blind Spot:

(self & others): 5 cups    ||    (others not self): High Priestess

(self not others): Moon   ||    (nobody): 3 Cups

[charles195]

April 28th, 2017

Approximate date of when I lost my virginity. I was a senior in high school. I felt so consumed, like the Edible Woman. My mom yelled at me and said she wouldn’t pay for my college. Why the fuck did she say that? She didn’t even mean it and it was the start of the multiple panic attacks I had every day.

I asked for help. My therapist told me it was good I didn’t actually want to commit. I had a loose plan. I went to the doctor for antidepressants. Mistake. I said I had thoughts. Why would I ever think it was okay to tell someone my thoughts? I was locked away. It was “voluntary” until I wanted to leave and they put a 72 hour hold on me.

We had to do group therapy sessions and recreational activities for “points”. Of course I thought it was stupid. One of them was the thing where you put little colored hexagonal beads together to make a picture. “It’s a metaphor for taking small steps and creating something big and meaningful!” You wanna talk about metaphors? Let’s talk about this stupid mandatory activity is a metaphor for the system assigning arbitrary value to stupid shit to measure our compliance. Fuck it. I just made a dick. I love the ugly little distinct shape of a dick. I loved how inherently offensive it was.

I just wanted to draw or some shit. I had a headache. They wouldn’t give me painkillers. I was stuck in a mental hospital and they couldn’t give me painkillers, but they were okay with putting me on Zoloft and me asking for sleeping pills. They seemed to put everyone on Zoloft.

They actually did listen that time and gave us all pencils and paper to draw. How hard was that? Of course the other patients loved drawing. We couldn’t draw for shit of course.

I actually loved the Zoloft. The first time I took it, I was sitting on the floor outside of a door while we were waiting for some other activity and totally euphoric. Everything felt so good. Why did I have to be locked up just for some pills? My other friend mentioned afterwards that she was able to get medication for her bipolar disorder without getting locked up. It was definitely just because I had thoughts. Don’t trust dumbasses with your thoughts.

Masturbation got me through those three days. My first roommate asked me if I was okay when she noticed I was in the bathroom for a while. We were the same age, 17, and the oldest ones. She seemed so innocent. Her eyeliner was bad but I appreciated the effort she put in. We were all dressed in pajamas with the drawstrings taken out and uglyass blue socks with rubber anti-slip spots on the soles. I hate socks. I just want my feet to be free, man.

I fingered myself as much as I could when we had time to ourselves in our rooms. On the third day I couldn’t orgasm anymore. That’s when I hated Zoloft.

My first roommate was a stressed out top 10 student just like me. She was taking a shitton of IB classes. She applied for Cal Poly Pomona because she messed up on the UC application. She got in there. This year she announced she was transferring to UCLA. I loved her, she was so nice and kind hearted and she was the only one who I felt actually understood me. She was on Zoloft, too, and something else. She told me that Johnny Depp stayed in the same ward as us, too, back when it was a drug rehab center. Later I found a note int notebook from her written in secret code. We weren’t allowed to tell our names and addresses to each other in case one of us was too whack and was a murderer and liability issues. She left me her social media accounts in code. I still have her on Snapchat.

I was sad when she left but kinda excited to have the room to myself. Except we never exactly had privacy. A nurse would walk up and down the hallway periodically at night for checks. It was annoying as hell with their flashlight. I didn’t have the room to myself. My second roommate came during my huge mental breakdown.

She was a lot younger than me, but mature for her age. In a bad way. She was like 14 and said she had sex with her boyfriend. Like damn. Okay. She said she could see dead people but I wasn’t sure if she meant it or if she was just referencing The Sixth Sense. She told me she was taken forcefully and arrested by a police officer. She was a tiny 14 year old blonde girl and she was taken with force. What the hell.

She told me I wouldn’t get out if I was crying like that. She’s been in the mental hospital multiple times. She told me I had to fake progress. I told her she’s right. My first roommate mentioned the same thing.

One morning we sat together on the little seat thing at the window, and just stared out at the sky together. We weren’t allowed to go outside. Their excuse was that it was a temporary facility. That was why everything was so shitty.

When we were allowed to the actual hospital cafeteria “as a treat” instead of eating powdered eggs and other shit in the day room, she swore one of the boys from the other table was flirting with her. I couldn’t tell my eyesight wasn’t good enough. And didn’t she already have a boyfriend? What the hell?

We had “school”. We were watching a hockey movie while some lady paused occasionally and explained the significance of some scenes. Boring as hell. I don’t give a shit about sports. I had real school to return to, which I wouldn’t be able to return to for an entire month. I had AP exams to study for but I missed the AP government exam during those three days. I didn’t make it up. Studying was impossible with just textbooks. I needed my teachers to tell me what the hell the class was actually about. The month before the AP exam was the most important month in the entire school year. My learning was fucked but because I was a senior with panic attacks every single day, I was able given a passing grade. Reparation for the anxiety and depression that high school gave me. I had already been accepted into UCI.

On the third day I asked for the sleeping pills and knocked the fuck out. That was the start of my sleeping pill addiction. You can’t have panic attacks if you’re knocked the fuck out.

I was in the middle of fingering myself when I was told I could finally leave.

Some time later I finally stopped taking sleeping pills. Zzzquil was my shit. I had built up too much immunity. I was taking four at a time when two was supposed to be the max dosage.

As soon I turned 18, I had sex every day. Thanks Tinder. I couldn’t actually orgasm because of the Zoloft. But it just felt good to be penetrated really deep.

Timeline is bad, sorry. After I got out of the LLBMC, I fucked Andrew Mane. Actually that wasn’t his real name and I didn’t even realize that until much later when I looked in the yearbook. Oh my god I loved his big dick. I couldn’t cum so I faked it. It felt good. I thought I loved him. Silly me, I just loved dick. We only got to fuck a couple more time before he moved. What a guy. He was pretty whacky.

On the second day of LLBMC, I asked for my friend to visit. I chose him specifically because we marched together. We hummed the corps song together. It gave me hope. We were the last ones in the visitation room before hours ended and he had to go. He said he didn’t judge me. I believed him. I wasn’t a good friend to him. I regret that.

And then later I got into some sugar daddy stuff.

[whysperingwoods]

hi so i have a question !! do you know of any spells on protecting a relationship from external forces and negative energies ? if not fo you have any suggestions on what to use or do to create one ? thank u sm !!

I don’t normally answer spell requests, but I figured this might be a good opportunity to show how you can use a pre-made spell and deconstruct it if you need to adapt anything or make substitutions. So this post is about:

Deconstructing spells and making well-informed substitutions (and a love spell I guess)

The basic steps I’ll be walking you through are: reading through the spell as it appears in the book or online, identifying the purpose for each item or action, finding equivalent or more powerful items or actions as needed, performing the spell and knowing whether or not it worked. 

If you just want the fish then I guess you can read the first part and go home, but I’m giving you the “learn to fish” option (better deal, imo). 

(This spell is mine btw, so please don’t repost it anywhere. This also means it’s based on French Canadian folk magic, which might differ from your personal practice.)

The intent of this spell is: “These individuals are happy together and prosper, and are protected from hindering forces/energies.”

The spell:

- Two apples- One knife- One pack dry yeast (they’re usually about 7g)- 1.5 tablespoons of white sugar- 1.25 (one and a quarter) cups of warm water- 0.5 tablespoons (half) or 1.5 (one and a half) teaspoons- 1 tablespoon of oil- 3 to 3.5 (three and a half) cups of flour - enough twine or string to wrap around the apple, 100% cotton NOT synthetic (butcher’s twine for example)- Baking tray or bread mold- Oven

1. Before you start any kind of ritual, you want to cut both apples in half top down (vertical through the core). Don’t worry about perfection, it doesn’t matter, but you need to have this step done before you cast any kind of circle if that’s something you do. 2. If you have any kind of “pre-spell” activities such as casting a circle or cleansing your space, go ahead and do that. 3. Bring one half from each apple into the ritual space (”ritual space” as in wherever you do your thing, does not have to be an altar or anything of that nature… I do mine wherever is practical, in this case the kitchen counter) as well as the twine. Put the two halves together, wrap the twine around them three times and tie a knot. If you like to say something during your spells such as a mantra or a sentence setting your intent, to this while wrapping the apple and tying the knot. If short, repeat it three times. French Canadian folk magic often has short rhymes repeated during spells.4. You’re gonna bake some bread. You can use a different recipe than the one linked, and change the list of ingredients accordingly. When kneading, focus on your intent and the two people the spell is involving. There will be long pauses while you let the dough rise: what you do during that time doesn’t matter for the spell. The second time you let the dough rise, you need to put the apple into the center of the dough FIRST (so it is enclosed completely) and let the bread rise around it. Don’t worry if the bread rises funny or caves in the middle.5. Bake the bread with the apple in the center. Ideally you should use a bread mold, but you can just shape it roughly round and put it on a baking tray if you don’t have one. 6. Score a cross shape into the bread using your knife (straight sharp blades work best).7. Once the bread has baked and cooled, each party the apple halves are representing must eat a piece of the bread. Depending on the environment you’re in and the apple you used, you’ll have varying levels of edible bread. If your loaf looks roughly normal, you should be able to each eat from one extremity. The closer you get to the apple, the more chances there are that it’s gooey, undercooked, or mushy from the juices. It’s not bad for you, just kinda gross tasting. Feel free to eat it if you want. The more weird your bread looks, the more your center is sketchy. Wonky bread isn’t a bad omen and won’t affect your spell, it’s just physics and stuff. 8. Enjoy your magically enhanced relationship, and don’t forget that no amount of magic can help if there are too many mundane issues left unresolved. 

The rest of this is below the cut because this is already long af. The counter-spell is also under the cut, all the way at the bottom. Please forgive typos, I’m a very tired gay. 

Link to the upcoming giveaway, on the offhand chance you like free stuff.

Interlude:

Before you deconstruct a spell, it’s important that you determine whether or not the spell should be deconstructed. If you’re using a random spell you don’t know the source of, or something written by someone on the internet (like this one), you can usually make a significant number of (logical) changes and substitutions. 

However, in the case of spells that have centuries of history, such as spells found in old arcane texts and grimoires, the more you change the more likely you are to get an unpredictable result. Spells that have been passed down survive because they work as written, and every change will decrease it’s likelihood of success. Ideally, you want as many checks in the “keeping as is” column as possible, and very few checks in the “changes” column. Sometimes there are things you just have to modify because life has changed since the 1700s, and that’s fine, just make sure you’re changing only when necessary and using sensible substitutions. More importantly, be prepared to deal with any consequences that may arise. 

Deconstruction:

Here I’m going to give you the purpose and meaning behind each element of the spell. The next section will show you how to come up with substitutions.

• Apple: In French Canadian folk magic, it’s a symbol of love and unity. Each full apple represents the person as a whole, and we put the two halves together so they can come together. You want to avoid using only one halved apple, as that implies that each person is incomplete until they are paired with the other half, which can create codependency or abusive relationships. One tradition is to use a half with a stem to represent the male in the relationship, and a half without the stem to represent the female. This is obviously heteronormative and might not work for your situation, so in the substitutions section I’ll list some other options. You can also just ignore the stem situation completely, and just determine in your mind which is which. 

• Twine or string: The twine is representative of the relationship itself, keeping the two halves together. It’s all the good things in the relationship, such as communication, honesty, common traits, etc. We wrap the twine around the apple three times because the number 3 in French Canadian folk magic is used to “strengthen” a spell or intent. 

• Flour: Flour represents prosperity in the home. It does not represent excess. It is having enough to eat, to stay warm, to live happily and comfortably. The type of flour doesn’t matter.

• Other ingredients: Everything else is used as part of the bread making process, and has no significant meaning otherwise. 

• The joining of the apples step is explained pretty well already in the apples info, so I’m going to move on to the bread baking. Kneading the dough and preparing the bread are all symbolic of the time and work it takes to maintain a good relationship with someone, and are important steps if you’re able to do them. During kneading, you should be focusing on your intent for the spell. 

• Placing the apple in the center of the bread is to bind the symbol of the couple (the apple) with the symbol of prosperity and happiness (the bread). The water from both will mix, and water is like the “and” in your spell if it were a sentence. You’re saying “These individuals are happy together AND prosper”. 

• Scoring the bread with the cross is your symbol of protection from outside forces. Since French Canadian folk magic is heavily entwined with catholicism, the cross is a protective symbol. 

• Eating the bread can be considered both the activating of the spell, as well as the closing element. It is enforcing the properties as it is ingested by the people involved, and is symbolic that they have accepted the intent of the sorcier or witch. 

Substitutions: 

I obviously can’t possibly cover every single option here, but I’m going to do my best to give you a lot of suggestions that should give you a pretty good idea of what kind of changes you can make and how to adapt the spell to your abilities, correspondences, and what you have available to you. 

• The apples and twine can be substituted for anything else that would represent the individuals and a loving relationship. If your local folk magic has a symbol that is different from apples, you can absolutely use that instead. Likewise if you have a personal correspondence that is stronger to you, or tag locks for the individuals in question (just remember it’s going in bread, so hair might not be your best option here). 

• The stem situation, as I mentioned in the deconstruction section, is not a mandatory part of the spell. Nonetheless, I wanted to provide some alternate options. You can of course you two stemmed apples, two unstemmed apples, you can cut the apple into more than two pieces (so long as you can roughly fit them together, and you would use a corresponding number of apples), etc. Keep in mind that the stems don’t need to represent anything at all, and they can be unrelated to gender (for example, stem representing the taller person and no stem being the shorter one). You can make it whatever you want. If you would like the stems to represent gender, non-binary genders can be a bent stem, a half stem, an additional stem (just stick it in, don’t put glue on it please), whatever you want. Again, you can completely disregard the stems if it causes any kind of anxiety for you or if you’re like me and massively despise the binary implications of it. 

• If you can’t find cotton twine or don’t have cotton string, you can use anything else that would tie the two halves together. The important thing to keep in mind here is that it is going inside the bread, so you definitely don’t want to use synthetic fibers as they could melt in the oven and go into the bread (don’t eat that). The important thing is that there be something going around the apple holding the halves together. You could even use a long strip of dough from what you’ve kneaded. Another important thing is that you don’t do something that will go through the apples to keep them together, such as using toothpicks, as this has a different meaning and will change the intent of the spell. 

• The bread baking is a step that might be problematic for individuals who are not open about their practice, or who are physically incapable of making the bread because of the kneading, or multiple other reasons. If the issue is the kneading, you can use this no knead recipe instead.  If you’re dealing with any other issue for the bread step, you just need to find a substitute that would represent the same thing for you or for your culture. Some examples: using rice in place of bread, writing your intent to fill up an entire page of paper (or typing it and printing it out) and wrapping it around the apple, burying the apple outside, etc. If visualization is your only option, go for it. 

• Eating the bread is your activation step. If someone is allergic to gluten or has a dietary restriction, you can change the type of flour you use accordingly without changing the intent of the spell. If you didn’t bake bread, any alternative that feels to you like the intent of “the individuals involved accept the intent of this spell” will work. It can be as simple as them both holding the apple and reciting a line if you wrote one, or simply reciting the intent of the spell, etc. This step is going to be dependent on what you’ve already changed if anything. Ultimately, there should be an overall impression of completion afterwards. 

Counter-spell: 

You should always, always have a way to undo any spell that you’ve performed. I personally keep the twine somewhere safe, and will cut the twine in half or burn it if I need to reverse the spell. Alternative options would be to have a set of words as your counter-spell, or some other symbolic means of reversing the spell. Be careful that this information is only available to those involved with the spell, so no one wishing ill on the relationship can do any damage.

[delicate-thoughtsfy]

[Random Dream] Wasted Opportunity Due to Running Away From Happy Crush

Date: 11/08/20

Time slept: 4:13AM - 9:22AM 

Sleep duration: 309 minutes or 5.15 hrs

Time written: 9:31AM

I had a dream where I went back to my temporary house since I’m staying at our permanent house just for covid times. It’s been so long since I felt pretty so I wore my favorite pair of clothing: a striped pink and white round neck fitted stretch blouse tucked in a deep blue long skirt. Closest pictures I could fine are added below. 

I’m suddenly find myself in a classroom with my brown side bag. I had to change quickly because any moment I someone could enter. I laid my bag (which impossible held all materials of clothing) on a nearby table. As soon as I dressed up, I immediately became empowered and wanted to join as much free, relatively safe activities nearby. I didn’t want to waste the opportunity since in my permanent residence, nothing much really goes on. 

The first event was related to film, I think? I remember a lot of people suddenly entering as soon as I finished dressing. I greeted three friends and had small talk. I also charged my iphone while I was there (which I suddenly had) and really stressed the fact to take care of the charger since it’s my mom’s (which I suddenly had).

I went out to the hall, avoiding collisions with people not because of covid but because it’s the right thing to do. Near the entrance of the door sat a teacher, which oddly looked like Erwin Sikowitz from the show Victorius. He’s sitting down while looking at the people in front of him act. Speaking of the acting, I feel like I saw and erotic scene between two males. Since I’m sitted at the left side of the entrance with no one beside me, I alone to close enough see the pained but satisfied expression of the black-haired bottom. I suddenly remember my phone and turns out I forgot to charge it. I just thought I did. So I painstakingly went inside again and charged it. 

On my phone, I think I saw three event notifications nearby. One was for sure about transplanting (I’m beginning to forget now at 9:59AM). Oh! I had to check whether these events are free so I also try to find the word “payment” and check if there were numbers in the event details. I remember the other events have grand venues, such as in gardens and hotels so I definitely want to go. I double checked the event about transplanting and found out that it’s held in an airconditioned venue room somewhere near and I went to go immediately because it’s starting soon. 

I tried to leave but my sister (which was suddenly there and the place now looked like the back of our residential home) wanted food. I used the floor to cook popcorn-style some green peas. At this point I’m extremely agitated because I need to leave soon but the peas just kept getting too burnt and I had to cook for more and repeat. At some point I just said, “Fuck this” and gathered all barely edible peas and that’s that. 

It was late at night and I had to walk to the venue. I (suddenly) had an umbrella and used it to shield my face. I became aware of people around me and since I’m wearing my fave outift, I kinda wanna flirt a little bit but not too much. So I straightened my back and walked in that kinda sultry way women will deny they do. That is, until I realize who the voices were. I felt dread spread out of my body and became extremely grateful for the umbrella covering my face. But then I twisted my umbrella and a large hole was suddenly there, exposing my face to the people to my right. I was right though. These were the group of friends calling themselves パピ and the one who saw my face was the smart one. I horribly bothered by this because one of their member, the sleepy one, was my happy crush for about two years. I just got over him but why is he there of all times! I didn’t see his face but I heard his voice near me and that sent tingles across my body that I don’t want to psychoanalyze right now. I couldn’t stress enough that I was trying my hardest to avoid a confrontation but still close enough observe them if possible. 

At this point, my event venue was nearby but I had a strange feeling that maybe they’re going to that event too. It was such a goof d event too, very timely and free and luxurious. I could probably ask for some free plants during the end. Or at least some plant parts for propagating. However, I didn’t want to see their faces nor hear their happy voices any longer so I took a sharp turn and lowkey ran away. 

And that’s when I woke up. 

Seven months of effort down the drain. Yeah, I probably still like him. Will still have to control my breathing and expressions if we come face to face. It gets so tiring though, so I’m glad this happy crush is not as intense as it used to be.

Here’s my outfit:

Imagine this blouse but short sleeves and stripes of soft pink and white. My hair is also parted to the side in this attire.

Imagine this skirt but deeper blue and the shoes black.

[the-little-red-noodle]

3/29/17 7:42 pm

Sunday night, the 26th, i had the most traumatic experience of my life. As far as i know, ryan and i ate edibles, and I hallucinated and freaked out. Now im not sure where i am. We were going to the panic at the disco concert in san diego. We decided it would be fun to try edibles beforehand so we could have fun and be dancey during the show. We got hooked up with one of his friends and went to our hotel near the stadium. It was around 7:00 when we started eating from a 250 milligram edible cookie. Korova i think? We finished the entire thing but i think i had more. At least 150 mgs to myself. It wasnt hitting yet until we ubered to the arena. We were standing in line when i started to feel it. I was feeling giggly and started having trouble walking. I was mildly nervous that we wouldnt get in the stadium. We kept walking. I was laughing a lot and hanging on ryan. We got into the arena after trouble with the stairs. They checked our tickets. We were walking left towards section R. Then i remember walking down the stairs towards the 5th row. I remember feeling excited and kept saying "baby look how close we are!" Eventually we got to our seats and sat down. We were so close and saint motel was starting to play. Then everything started to go wrong. I was noticing that the high was too much. I remember leaning over to ryan and saying "this was such a mistake" and "im so sorry" and "are you okay". The bass from the music throbbed through my body in a really uncomfortable way. But i wasnt scared of hallucinating, just that i was too high and wanted to throw up and get water. At one point i remember the woman next to me ask "who is playing?" And i said saint motel and she said "no, whos playing now?" And i kinda stared at her for a bit and said i dont know. I was becoming dizzy as the high was nearing the peak. The room blurred together and i tried to stay calm. I remember being able to clap when songs were done and wave my arms with the crowd. A couple times i whispered to ryan that the lead singer of saint motel looked like an Australian from the crocodile hunter. The noise was very loud and at one point i managed to get into my purse and put one ear plug in my left ear, which was closer to the amp. I sat plainly while my whole world started changing. The thing that triggered my bad trip was the singer from saint motel saying something like whos ready for panic at the disco? I froze and asked ryan did they say misterwives? He said no i dont think so. Then i started getting panicked that misterwives wouldnt be playing because i was excited to see them again with ryan. I started frantically trying to figure out if they were here or not, and checked the tickets with no luck. This made me feel terrified that the show we were attending wouldnt have the band he wanted to see. Then i remember looking around the stadium and feeling confused. I started to forget things like where we were, why we were there, who we were, and the people around us. I became terrified and uncomfortable. I remember my vision changing and the whole world becoming more geometric. The singer from saint motels face became a plain triangle as he moved around (kinda looked like phineus and pherb.) and then i started to forget ryan. His face became a plain oval with his features, i think his freckles disappeared. I was dizzy searching the room for something familiar and coming up empty handed, began to scream. I have this awful memory that keeps coming back of my looking at ryan and around the room and just screaming. This hard terrified scream like nothing id ever produced or heard before. during this, what id consider a panic attack, i felt my memories dissipating. I forgot who i was; my name, face, personality, anything. The image of myself also changed in this hallucination to be more geometric and didnt resemble a person. I questioned reality, and what i was, or how i was cognizant. I questioned who ryan was and where i was and what was happening to me. I remember staring at him for what felt like hours trying to remember him and what was happening. I remember saying "youre ryan, right?" And he said yes and that he loved me and was trying to calm me down but i was shaking my head and then i fell into a screaming fit again and pushed him away but also cowered in his lap. I just feel haunted by the sound of me screaming out of such terror, and that i forgot everything that made up my reality. I have a couple memories of asking ryan who i was and what i looked like and as he described me (red hair, green eyes etc) i tried building my face in my head. I looked at several things around the room that were becoming constant again, like the writing on the saint motel poster and the flowers on my pants and ryans face. I dont remember much about coming out of hysteria except when saint motel ended. I remember the house lights being on in the arena and groups of people moving. I watched the group next to us like the boy in the green sweater and the women with leather pants and blonde hair. I was actively trying to ground myself in this reality even though i wasnt sure it was real. Part of me felt and still kind of feels that the trip was like traveling through dimensions and i just stopped here for some reason and had to make the most of it to survive because the screaming fit was more painful than just being uncomfortable in my skin. At some point i turned to ryan and said we need to get water. Then he was walking up the steps and out of my view. I looked around me at the faces of people seated near me and tried to figure out if all this was in my head or if i really did scream like that. Eventually he got back with water and i drank and ate some of a power bar from my purse. I wasnt getting better, but i had some know-how that eating and drinking would help. We did this for a while and then i said we need to go to the hospital and he said ok and walked away again, this time lower to a guy in red and then off to the right, away from the stage. I watched him go and got confused but was restraining myself from freaking out again. I thought i might as well see how this goes for now because my only other option was falling through the dimensions and screaming again. Eventually he came back and said we had to uber (i later found out that he went to a paramedic and they just told him to uber) so he said we had to go outside. He was sitting next to me holding my bag and i stared at my pants for a long time and felt like i was pulling the universe closer to me, like pulling in reality, sucking it up so i could walk. I gathered myself enough to stand and say excuse me as i passed the people next to us. I remember gripping the railing but not really climbing stairs. And then next thing i remember is being on my hands and knees on the sidewalk outside the arena throwing up. I held my hair and so did ryan and then he was throwing up too. A girl asked if we were okay and some guy gave us a water bottle. I dont remember getting up but i remember walking through grass to a street where an uber picked us up and took us to the hotel. The next thing i remember is throwing up in the hotel bathroom. We took a shower and layed on the bed. I watched ryan sleep because he twitched a couple times and it scared me. I dont remember much else but driving home and then being in my room. I had another panic attack yesterday (28th) when i woke up from a xanex nap and then was crying and started screaming and i told ryan to get my mom who sat me on the floor and comforted me. I feel really disconnected from reality. Since the experience i feel like i know logically what happened (ate edible, bad trip, hallucinations, and now just being shaken up) but theres also this voice telling me that none of this is real and that i dont feel 100% comfortable or familiar with anything. Sometimes i have moments of clarity like the first night back at home (27th) when my mom, richard, and shane were in the room with ryan and i and everyone was talking and laughing and i felt calmer. I had a xanex before bed each night and an extra one yesterday after i had the panic attack I just feel really disconnected. I feel like i dont know what reality is or who i am or any of these people or anything and its terrifying. Im scared that i wont get back to normal and that i just have to adjust. I feel like i ruined my life with this one mistake. I dont know what to do but the panic makes me scared for myself. Scared i could hurt myself or even kill myself. I feel like i just want all this to stop so thats where my mind goes. Feeling panicked and anxious and afraid and dissociative and unfamiliar. Feels like the definition of psychosis minus the more schizophrenic stuff (no voices, no fbi stuff). Scared i will never be the same again

[shrinkingwmn]

I finally got to go to the Circle Craft Holiday Market! It is a yearly market downtown that is always held on a long weekend. I wasn’t able to attend in the past because I was working but my days off have changed and when my friend asked if I wanted to go I didn’t even pause to think, I just said yes!

A Holiday Market? Hell yeah!

I went in with a budget, which I’m pretty sure I went over. I went in with the plan to buy Christmas presents, I mostly bought stuff for myself. I went in with a plan to buy a healthy meal at some point in the day, instead I ate all the samples.

Suffice to say, the day didn’t go as planned, which I’m glad about because the fun was spontaneous, I like the stuff I bought, and the samples were free!…which in my version of math helps offset the cost of oh say, the necklace I bought… 😉

It was definitely not crowded, I guess most people went on the first and second day it was open? I like that it wasn’t crowded, no fighting to see the displays, easy to walk around without getting bumped, it was much more relaxing than some of the Christmas events I’ve been to. Plus, it was inside so we were cozy warm. 🙂

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One of my favourite booths was a company called JusTea. It is a Vancouver based, family run business. They go to Africa a couple times a year and source all their tea from there. The tea is all ethically sourced, and some of them are picked (or is the right word harvested?) by a woman’s co-op. Each tin has a picture of one of the farmers on it, so you can see who was making your tea leaves. The teas smell amazing! I kept taking deep inhales of the teas like I was trying to get high from them or something lol but really, it was just because it smelled that good. There was a fruity tea called Purple Rain that not only smelled delicious but had a taste to match. In the end I bought African Breakfast, which is their version of an English Breakfast or Orange Pekoe. It is a mixture of different tea leaves which gives it a more complex taste. Each tin also comes with a hand crafted spoon that took 9 hours to make. 9 hours on a spoon, talk about a personal touch! The gentleman manning the booth mentioned that when you want to buy more you can go to their store and they will sell it to you in a compostable bag, so you can refill your already existing tin, and not create garbage when throwing out the bag. Why doesn’t every company do that? That little touch makes me love them even more. Here is their website if you want to check them out: https://justea.com/

Another great booth is abeego, they sell reusable beeswax wraps that you can use to keep your food fresh and protected, whether it is covering the top of a bowl of leftovers you have in the fridge or wrapped around the sandwich you’re taking to work. I actually own a set of these, they were a gift, and I haven’t used them yet because they kinda freak me out. Instead of buying any at this booth I just grilled them to get a better understanding of how they work and I am kinda amazed. The beeswax has antibacterial properties so you don’t need to worry about your beeswax wrap touching your food. Like you see in the picture you can wrap it around the cut end of a vegetable (their sample is a cucumber) and it will keep the end fresh. You can take your cheese out of the plastic and wrap it in a beeswax wrap and the cheese will stay fresh and mold free longer. They are fairly low maintenance for care, rinse them off using cold water, use a mild dish soap if you really want, then let them air dry. They can be rolled or folded for storage. An important thing to remember is not to get them hot, they are made out of beeswax after all, and what does beeswax do when it gets warm? It melts. So if you’re putting hot left overs in a bowl and want to use the beeswax sheet to cover the bowl, wait until the food is room temperature before covering the bowl. Pretty easy right? Oh, and when they finally reach the end of their life, which is when they stop sticking to surfaces or itself (this can take a year or more to happen) you can either compost it or rip it up and use it as a fire starter when you next go camping. Which for me will be never, so compost it is! I’ve gone from wondering “what the hell I am supposed to do with these beeswax wraps?” to “I can’t wait to use these!” Super glad I stopped and talked with them. Oh, and they are also locally made and ship anywhere so if you are interested their website is: https://canada.abeego.com/

I bought myself a necklace I absolutely 100% do not need, but really wanted, and apparently wanting it mattered more in the moment than needing it lol

Again, a Canadian made product, well, work of art really. The holes in the charm are the Capricorn constellation, my constellation. It is simple, and pretty, and I can see myself wearing it often. She also had a necklace I’m regretting I didn’t get a picture of that is the word fuck, dangling down so you’d have to turn your head sideways to be able to read it if you were looking at someone wearing it. I actually also really wanted that one, but since I spend the majority of my time at work, where I would not be able to wear it, I opted for the one I could actually wear and enjoy on a daily basis. Go figure lol Rachael, the artist, has a lot of beautiful pieces, and since Christmas (and other holidays) are coming up you may want to check out her website at http://www.laughingsparrow.ca This was my most expensive purchase at the Market, and while I wish jewellery didn’t cost so much I can understand why a hand made piece, that is sourced from sustainable materials can’t be cheap. You get what you pay for, and I feel I got something great that will last.

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The other edible things I purchased are a jar of Pink Grapefruit & Champagne preserve, which I will instantly make less fancy by putting on toast. I don’t know how to describe it other than delicious. The Preservatory is a business out of Langley BC, they focus on small batch artisanal preserves, and lemme tell ya, they are good at their niche. I have seen them in a shop called All of Oils in Surrey BC but hadn’t tried them until they offered samples. Man am I glad they offered samples. Their website is: https://thepreservatory.com/

Sweet Thea is a bakery out of Langley BC, they are where I got the cookies. I know the package says I bought Ginger Crinkle, and I did, but if you notice, not all the cookies in the bag look the same. That is because the friend I went with bought a bag of Chocolava cookies and we swapped three for three. I honestly don’t know which I like best. Normally I’d be saying of course the chocolate cookies, but the ginger is also incredibly good. They are soft cookies, both types, and just so decadent. We split one of each cookie in half so for our first cookie we got half of each and while normally I am that person to keep dipping in to the cookie package, I didn’t reach again. Not because they weren’t good, but because they were so satisfying I didn’t need more. I didn’t even know that was possible, did you? You can find their website at: https://www.sweetthea.com/home The lady we bought from wasn’t as friendly as people at the other booths but I’m going to assume that is because it was nearing the end of the day and she was probably tired after a long three days working the market. We may have gone at a quiet time but I’m sure the other days were much busier.

That deceptively simple Lemon Square package is hiding an amazing lemon coconut  square inside. That small square is meant to be cut in to four pieces! The flavour is so strong, not in a bad way, that you don’t need more than a small square to satisfy you. Well, in theory, I am not cutting and sharing that square lol  Here is their website: https://thelemonsquare.ca/

And lastly, Whiskey Marmalade by Blaire’s Confectionery. They are a company in Kamloops BC that makes Scottish treats. They had various types of marmalade, shortbread, fudge that isn’t fudge (apparently in Scotland it is called something different), and probably other yummy items that they didn’t have at the booth or I didn’t notice. Hey, I can’t manage to see everything ya know, especially when I am sampling shortbread and fudge that isn’t fudge lol Their website is being redesigned right now and when I tried to go to it was directed to check out their page on Facebook so if you want to find them I’d search for them there. I didn’t sample the marmalade, I hate marmalade, but I thought my brother might like it, so I got it as part of his Christmas present. Don’t worry, he doesn’t read my blog so no ruined surprise for him! I also wanted to buy the fudge that isn’t called fudge but couldn’t bring myself to spend $10 on a food indulgence…says the woman who ended up buying cookies and a lemon bar *rolls eyes*.

Can a couple pieces of art be anymore Canadian than a beaver in a canoe or a mama bear and cubs in a canoe? I’m thinking no.

So there you have it, an afternoon of wandering the booths, buying stuff, hanging with a friend, and enjoying my first Christmas activity of the season. Only 42 more days until Christmas!

Circle Craft Holiday Market I finally got to go to the Circle Craft Holiday Market! It is a yearly market downtown that is always held on a long weekend.

[bkfitmama]

Outside of Salivar’s on the Harbor

Pool time! That shark hat though!

Delicious cocktail from @Fletcher’s

Roasting marshmallows @HavenMontauk

Thanks for the board @CoreysWave

@MontaukBrewingCo

Our perfect little beach babe!

What was meant to be a quick 2 day getaway, turned into a glorious 5 day family vacation. Never having been to Montauk, I didn’t realize that 2 days there wouldn’t possibly be enough. The weather was perfect, the vibe was incredible, and all 3 members of my little family was has having a great time. I’m now a big believer in all things Montauk and hope to make it an annual, summer tradition. I feel like when you go somewhere for the first time, everything is a bit of trial and error. You ace some of the activities, and others you wish you would have known just wouldn’t be that great. Our trip was pretty impromptu, so we didn’t really do any planning or research when it came to…well, anything. In this post I’m going to include a few great things we did and a few things we weren’t so crazy about. The first two nights we stayed at a little motel in Montauk Harbor called the Sun N Sound. It was a no frills place with a pool and a kitchenette for added convenience (though it’s not like I actually turned on the stove at any point). The best part was having the ocean right outside your back patio. It was beautiful looking out into the ocean and waking up hearing the waves right from our room. Once we decided to stay another two nights, we moved to the hotel literally across the street called The Haven. We had met a couple of families on the beach highly recommending the accommodations there. Boy were they right! We loved this place! We were actually lucky to even get in there and at such a reasonable rate. The rooms actually reminded me of the beach hotels in Greece. They were very white, bright, and crisp. The pool was almost that of a resort’s. It had nice beds to relax on (def. couldn’t do too much of that with a 3 year old running around), a bunch of floats for the kids, and was just all around really nice. The hotel also had a huge outside space with tables, bbqs, and a big fire pit in the middle. It was awesome for the kids staying there to run around and play with each other after the sun went down. We even roasted our own marshmallows the last evening there, which Grace absolutely loved (turns out she’s a pyro at heart). Both of the places we stayed were about a 5 minute walk to a tiny, basically private beach. It was right on the Long Island Sound so the water was calm enough for the kids to play right on the shore without scaring the parents half to death. After dinner, we would head back down to catch the absolutely breath taking Montauk sunset. We were very happy with both accommodations and their locations, but will likely be booking The Haven for future family adventures. As far as dining, we had both hit and misses. Our first night we went to Salivar’s. Grace had a very healthy meal consisting of edamame, french fries, pasta, and ice cream! LOL Sean and I shared a bunch of really delicious appetizers. This place had a huge menu, but we stuck to the sushi portion knowing you couldn’t get it any fresher. We enjoyed this place for sure. For our first breakfast we were just looking for a simple diner in town. If that’s what you’re looking for, you basically only have 2 options: Anthony’s Pancake House or John’s Pancake House. We ended up trying out Anthony’s. Wow were we stressed in that place. It’s not that it was even crazy busy, it was just SO disorganized. Maybe New York has worn down our patience. Also, the fact that Sean and I were in the industry for so long, we notice everything. It took forever to get sat, not because there weren’t tables, but because the man doing the seating was soooo slow. We had to beg for water and coffee several times and the food was super subpar-even for a diner. The next few days we opted for a place called Bliss. This place was simple, easy, and good. We got giant coffees and just had bagels and breakfast sandwiches, which we ordered from the counter. For us, simplicity is key. They had a nice back garden with chalk to decorate the patio with. That kept Grace contained for a bit while we enjoyed our breakfast. For lunch, we brought sandwich stuff with us so we basically just stuck to that. Grace pretty much just had an array of Goldfish, Popcorn, and Pretzels most lunches (You can send me my mother of the year award anytime THANKS). Our second dinner was at a place, also on the harbor, called Fletchers. The food and cocktails here were tasty. The scallops were probably the freshest I’ve ever had. Once again, Grace had pasta. If your kiddos are picky eaters, a lot of the menus at these seafood restaurants become pretty limited. I was happy with this place, but it’s not somewhere I would go again with a child. It’s more for a nice date night. The next evening we kept it easy and just picked up a pizza from Primavera Pizza. We set it up in the hotel’s garden and enjoyed a nice, chill dinner. The pizza here was really good. Again with the easy. Our final night we had dinner at Gosman’s Restaurant. This was the biggest MISS of our vacation. The food was absolutely disgusting. I’m not one to bash a place, but this place is worthy of it. Sean got the 2 lb. lobster. His excitement over it diminished as soon as he tasted how old it was. I ordered the fish and chips. Both the fish and the chips were frozen. Like why? You’re right there on the water…why in the world would you sell frozen fish at your restaurant? The madness of it all was how busy it was. It did have a gorgeous view of the harbor and the staff was nice enough, but it was an obvious tourist trap. I’d rather have edible food than a nice view. But hey, to each their own. Our biggest lesson learned was to bring our own food next trip. With a huge grill at the hotel and even the mini kitchen, it would be so much better to grab our own fresh fish or even some burgers and cook ourselves. When it comes to grilling, it’s really too delicious and easy not to do it, at least a few times on the trip. Spending a fortune on vacation just seems to come with the territory, but I really feel like we were kinda suckers when it came to the food. We just didn’t know any better. Anyway, ya live and ya learn! On our third day, we drove out to the Montauk Point State Park. It had a cute playground where Grace could run around for a while. We walked down to the lighthouse, which was a sight to see for sure. We didn’t pay to go in. It’s something to do when Grace is a bit older. I had a feeling we would get in and she would be bored to tears. Instead, we walked down the path to the beach and skipped rocks for a while. Before leaving, we sat in the swings up top the overlook and stared into the never ending ocean. It was very peaceful. After, we ventured back into town, where we decided to stop by the Montauk Brewery. I would definitely recommend hitting this place up. You wouldn’t believe how cool it is. It’s literally run out of what looks like a barn house. They have a bar in front, with some tables and stuff outside. It’s very charming and the people working there do such a great job. The Watermelon Session Ale blew our mind. I never thought I would be into a beer with the word watermelon in it, but this one proved me wrong. Apparently, it is brewed as an IPA first, so as not too focus on the fruity side of it. This place had a really good ambiance about it. Was a favorite of the trip. We peeked in a few of the stores in town to grab hats, t-shirts, koozies, and some beach toys. In fact, Grace ended up being a walking, talking billboard for the town of Montauk. We got a few basics at Plaza Surf and Sports. It’s a massive beach store with literally everything from clothes to surf board rentals. The best piece of clothing we go was from Montauk Clothing Company. Grace got this adorable shark hat there (posted in photo). We have a tough time getting her to wear hats in the sun and this was one she loved wearing. She wore it everywhere! And everywhere she wore it, she got loads of compliments. My favorite thing we bought in Montauk, was selfishly, a stand up paddle board rental. I had never done stand up paddle boarding before until our second day at the beach. I borrowed one from a fellow beach goer after asking how tough it really was to do it. I immediately fell in love! I had a tough time finding a place in the harbor that would rent paddle boards. I wanted to find somewhere close where I could just carry it to the beach so we didn’t have to face the hassle of tying it to the car. Our last day at the beach, I found Corey’s Wave. What an awesome business. They provide surfing lessons and rentals. They actually delivered the board to the beach we were at and picked it up when I called them to let them know I was finished. The board was nice, the couple that dropped and picked up really friendly, and the convenience of it all was incredible! With all of that, I couldn’t believe how reasonable the price was. I had such an amazing day on that board. Being able to paddle out in the ocean and just take it all on was completely exhilarating. I will definitely use Corey’s services for years to come. Overall, this trip was one of the best we have had. Even with a couple of bad restaurant experiences, you lose all of that being at the beach. I guess that’s the whole point of going out there-letting go. Letting go of the city, letting go of the every day nonsense, letting go of all negativity… Being in a place like Montauk reminds you of the simple beauty in things and I cannot wait to get back.

  Doing Montauk: Family Style! What was meant to be a quick 2 day getaway, turned into a glorious 5 day family vacation.