#i kinda like playing games fairy/the way authors meant them to play

[glimpsesofeuterpe]

[hitoshisbabygirl]

Author's Notes ♡: Hey Hey, it’s me, ya girl and I’m back with another collab! Ive always loved the roommates theme and have a few ideas for some other ones in my head making this. It’s kinda all over the place because it was a professing with their friendship! Yes I made a Zelda reference and I land about it no. I know Rapp is seen as violent and dense but but this is in a collage au so he’s just a bit...aloof I just love the idea of him actually being a big softie ʕ⊙ᴥ⊙ʔ. I hope you enjoy! ~ bunny ❥

Warnings : NSFW!!! (◎_◎;)

Sweet caring sorta himbo(meh?) Rappa, female oral, Big Dick Rappa , sorta size kink if you really sqint,cheater ex mentioned like once , language

Word count : About 5k! Yikes ^^’

Paring(s) : Kendo Rappa x F! Reader

Enjoy ♡

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Having Kendo Rappa as a roommate is an interesting feat in itself. He is big, and loud , very very loud. He wasn't a bad roommate he just..was like a cute large and fluffy puppy that didn't know his size...or power. Their interactions started as the two met during a halloween party one of the frat houses down the street thew. [ ] went as Midna, her best friend Rumi was dressed as Impa while the last two of her friend group , Amaya and Asa, a pair of sisters, were dressed as fairies. “[ ]! Rumi! you two are so cute! Zelda costumes?” Asa asked as her sister ran up to admire their outfits. “Yeah! [ ] wanted to do some characters that matched us y'know?” She said as she nudged her quiet friend , the girl jumped and laughed , scratching her neck as she gave the excited sisters a small smile “If i was coming out tonight I was gonna wear what i wanted to really wear” [ ] said as the group of them laughed and mingled with their other friends and classmates. While heading to get juice , she heard loud screaming , as the sport boys were starting to show up. First was the football team, then the basketball. Baseball and wrestling came next, then the smaller clubs finished them out. Sighing [ ] was content away from everyone as she watched mayhem ensure, chugging of barrels , more music, girls swarming around the players they crushed on as they did minor things, like talk to their teammates or eating from one of the big food trays laying around. Feeling a tap on her shoulder broke her from her people watching, Rumi giving her a bright smile as she took a cup and joined her. “How's my favorite antisocial babe doing now that all of the party has arrived?” She asked as [ ] gave her a pained smile, going to get more if something to drink “Well I don't feel the need to smack anyone is that a good sign?” she chuckled as she got a hug from the more energetic girl “That's my girl! Don't worry, i wanna get out asap but we’re gonna need our favourite pair of sisters before that can happen and it seems like they're fawning over some of the baseball boys as we speak” Rumi said as they watched a familiar tutu of blue go by, followed by a pink one going a similar way. “I don't get it… but at least their taste in men isn't too bad” [ ] joked as Rumi agreed , laughing “Yeah miss tsundere, you can't stand saps, or most of the jocks either” giving the white haired girl a look she rolled her eyes and gave her own laugh back “Yeah I guess i'm either picky or just got high standards” “Ain't nothing wrong with that we all do!” She said as she elbowed the girl beside her.

As the two of them sat there and talked Rumi glanced past her and her eyes widened, causing [ ] to stop talking “What is it-” before she could question her, the white haired girl jumped up, waving at someone “Rap! Over here!” Constantly yelling to someone [ ] started to ask again when a booming voice came from above her “HEY RUMI” a very loud voice called as stomping could be heard before it stopped “I see you took our idea huh?” With that comment [ ] turned around only to be face to face with a dark cover chest, only to then look up to some of the most warm and amber colored eyes looking down at her “Hello there little lady, I like your costume! Erm..Midna aint it?” The giant ganon dressed man questioned as all she could do was shake her head in agreement, causing the giant male to laugh “Awe don't be shy of me kitten i ain't gonna bite!” He chuckled some more as her friend jumped in “I told you she was shy! Be nice Rappa!” Rumi yelled at the flaming red head as he gave her a toothy grin “Oh I was just teasin’ , I bet I ain't hurt her feelin’s did I sweetheart?” Rappa questioned as [ ] face felt hot, hiding her face in her hands as the teasing duo laughed causing the girl to huff “I'm tired of you two already” She said as a giant warm hand touched her shoulders “Awe dont be like that hun, in time ya’l love me” Rappa teased as he gave her a smile,making her stomach flutter “Yeah! This is who wanted you to meet anyway [ ]! This is Kendo Rappa, our top wrestling boy, Rappa this is my adorable best friend [ ]!” Rumi said as the two gave each other a shy smile , a sly one creeping up on Rumis as she thought to herself “Yeah, this'll definitely happen”

Since then the two had become more acquainted , having many classes together and sharing some similar friends [ ] was used to the bruting and sometimes dense man making a random ( and loud) appearance. As [ ] sat in her mostly empty room thanks to her last roommate moving out after constantly breaking sound rules and getting into it with the girl downstairs for being in her bed with her boyfriend (Yikes) she felt a sense of calm. Closing her chemistry book and letting out a relieved sigh [ ] thought about the fact she was going to get a new roommate, the thought was nerve wracking but also it was exciting as well. It was almost too quiet , having the last room by the stairs meant she didn't have to deal with many people besides her friend group. They weren't loud , unless one of her friends decided to get laid and made way too many sounds, or if their neighbors under them threw parties or also had...extra partners coming around. She definitely could feel she was sorta excited she was going to have a roommate again. The sisters had a room to the left of her while Rumi had the one to the right, sharing it with a girl they knew from math. The rooms were not gender defined, some girls having rooms with guys and vise versa so it made it easy to get a room.

These dorms were also quite spacious, the walls not paper thin and a large enough area space that could house two or maybe even three people. So when she heard a knock on her door she expected it to be her new roommate she was advised would come today. Happily opening the door she was shocked and almost terrified to see just a box, well actually a few boxed stacked hiding whoever it was behind them. But if the faed rustic orange hair and wide shoulders meant anything she knew her new roommate already “K-kendo?” [ ] said as the boxes walked by her , landing with a soft thud as bangs covered the male “[ ]? Is that you?” moving his hair out of the way their eyes had the same expression, shocked. “Uh h-hey there sweetheart why isn't this cute, we’re roomies hun?” he laughed as she couldn't help but give him a smile back. “I never expected to see you as my roommate” [ ] teased as Rappa gave her a hardy laugh “Well it looks like me and you are gonna be close friends here darlin’!” With a wide smile he picked her up and gave her a tight hug, taking her breath away ‘ Oh boy i wonder how this will turn out’ she thought as she was eye leve with her giant puppy like friend, his eyes filled of joy

Which leads into now, [ ] trying her hardest to read up on what her next project could be. As she sat there thinking she heard the tale tell sound of her roommate entering with some of his teammates, the boys loud and rambunctious as they entered. Feeling a heavy hand on her shoulder she looked up to the towering boy that was her roommate, his eyes just as bright as usual. “Hey darlin, we're just gonna talk up sum strats a for the upcoming match and play some games in the back , is that alright?” He asked with pleading eyes as one of his more cocky and jock like friends spoke up “Well youre the man here, dont let some women say if we cant or can be here” Rolling her eyes and proceeding to stand up and push past the wide eyed boy who knew what was going to happen. [ ] took in a breath before opening her eyes to look up to the boy “Well it is my room, i pay shit here and the man over there didnt get this place, so i do choose who can and cant come through my place” She said as she pointed a finger to the boys chest. Trying to push his luck he pushed back against her finger “ I bet you just haven’t gotten a good enough dicking for you to just stay out of the way” He laughed. Before [ ] could hit him hard enough her rust haired friend moved in , clearly towering the boy “Yer better watch yer mouth, she has her right around here, im invatin her space so watch it before there's no place for any of us to relax without rules” He said as the boy sucked up any laughing and nodded his head in understanding. Surprised by her usually aloof roommate [ ] stood back and went back to her work, the other boys scrambling behind kendo as the boy who tried to challenge her jumped to follow, never making a move to mock or do anything again.

The boys picked back up and were having fun in the back room of kendo’s , sighs and groans when they lost and victorious laughs and screams if someone won. Once they all left and everything settle to a quiet rumble as the last few funneled out [ ] could here herself think, reading up on chemistry as she felt a presence behind her. “ ‘M sorry, i didn't know my question wouldve cause a roar outta ya..” Kendo started as she smiled gently, turning to face the wounded boy “Its okay….guess it just lit something in me i always did y'know?” She said with a small laugh as she went to type again, but was stopped by the hulking boy. “I gotta make it up to ya alright? I know i aint say anythin that he did but…. It feels like my fault y'know?” He admitted as his large hand covered hers. “You wont live this down will you?” She questioned as his eyes flickered up to hers, sparking. “Nope, not at all. Lemme treat ya right okay?” For such innocent words [ ] couldnt help the shiver that ran down her back at his words. Maybe it was because he was so close, or that the smell of his cologne was too much, either way her head was spinning as she let him still hold her hand as he tugged her away from her computer , his smile widening as she reluctantly shut the bright screen “Great! Now let's get something to eat im starvin” He rasped out as [ ] gave him a giggle that made the boy stop in his tracks. He always thought she had a cute giggle but this one,for some reason , made his heart and chest feel warm and tight. Ignoring the feeling he took the girl with him, the two headed out to get something to eat as they headed down , the sound of her giggling still running though kendos mind.

Getting a random frantic text from Kendo wasn't unusual, in fact it was quite common for him to do such, which now didn't faze [ ] at all but this one was...particularly odd giving what he was asking ‘Hair? And messy? What in the world is he up to’ [. ] thought to herself as she headed to her shared room with the boy, nervous of what scene she could be entering.

Sighing after his last text she hurried her way to their dorm room and in fact he did leave the door open, making her more nervous as she entered the living room. “Kendo?” [ ] called out as she heard a gruff sound come from her bathroom. Entering was a sight of its own; towels, a bowl of some..substance , bags and bottles of body wash and a one flustered and shirtless Kendo. “[ ]! ‘M so glad yer home here take this” The large man said as he handed her an old toothbrush that was frayed and covered with the same odd substance in the bowl. The lingering smell from the room eventually gave it away ; shampoos. “Uh why do i need this? And why is there shampoo on a toothbrush” She questioned as he groaned, taking the towel off his head as she blinked owlishly at his very faded red orange hair, the color now more of a neon pumpkin. Shaking off extra water caused even more of his hair to fall, landing between his shoulder blades as he gave [ ] a desperate look. “It wont come out, and the more i scub the more...orange i become. I look like a orange peel” He whined as [ ] figured out what he was trying to do

“ You wanna remove the color right? A bowl of shampoo and body wash isnt strong enough” Going into their kitchen she grabbed some baking soda and lemon juice , coming back to the hopeless boy “Let me mix something up ive used before okay? Then we can proceed with your hair” Two and a half hours later the boys hair was now a light peachy orange, just light enough to take up with bleach “Well, if were gonna go for blonde ill go get some bleach and some masks, deep conditioners too, your hair is definitely gonna need it and I don’t want it breaking off because you're impatient to take care of it” she sighed as he was amazed at his hair, running a large hand through the still damp mess atop his head “Wow yer good” He said as she smiled at him, taking her keys “And you have a lot of hair. I'll be back” She said as she hopped up “Wait! Lemme go with you?” He asked but also seemed to demand, pleading eyes looking down at hers as wet hair dropped onto his still bare chest.

Trying not to be hypnotized by where they landed and proceeded to slide down she looked up at her amber eyed friend, who was staring intently as he waited for her answer, soft “Please?” coming from his lips. Sighing dramatically on purpose [ ] laughed at him, giving him a grin “of course you can you big puppy” she said as he picked her up in a hug, a gesture that shows his excitement she's come to learn. Putting her down he went to go to the door before his friend called him out “uhm Kendo? You don’t have on a shirt” she said plainly as he looked at her, raising a brow as he gave his rebuttal “Its hot” He responded. Giving him a side eyed look she turned from him and towards their bedrooms, [ ] sliding into his. Soon she came out with a sleeveless one, throwing it at the hulk of a guy infront of her “You can't come in the store without one” She said as he gave a growl of his own, sliding the shirt over his head as they left their apartment “Well at least ya got me one without sleeves” He huffed as they started back to the door, heading out to finally go to the store to start another process on Kendos hair, the male just excited to finally get rid of his pumpkin hair.

As Kendo sat in the shared living room with [ ] , deep conditioning his hair at her yelling request (‘If you dont re nourish it before you want me to bleach it , I won't do it!’ ) he watched his roommate and now his best friend wanderer around and do housley things for their apartment, the girl content as she cleaned and sorted out things in the kitchen, her body turned away from him as he started to think over how beautiful he thought she was. He want the type to brag or gloat about having so many girls comment on his size , height wised and well sometimes other ways , trying to tempt him to them. All while his friends wanted him to explain how he got the attention from the other gender , Kendo hated to admit it but ,he only wanted his roommates' affection. He knew how put together she was, smart and kind. He saw what her previous boyfriend did, a cheater that didnt take care of the beautiful soul he lived with. He couldnt stand seeing her come home and cry herself to sleep broke his heart, and when he fought the cheater, in the act he didnt feel bad once. Of course it ended their relationship, and [ ] yelled at him for fighting , explaining how he couldve ended in jail for fighting her ex, but he argued it would be worth it.

Sitting and mulling over everything he realized Rumi was right, hed do anything for [ ] but not the same for the other females that passed through his life. She actually, was the first person he did that for and that thought made his head dizzy. Moving from his place on the couch he went to stand in the kitchen, waiting for [ ] to come back from her room. Hearing the iconic sound of her feet pittering across the wooden floor he gave her a lopsided smile as she jumped, smacking into the chest of Kendo. Before [ ] could fall from impacting with his chest he caught her, holding her arm to his chest. “K-kendo! You shouldve told me you were in here! Why are you in here anyway?”[ ] scolded as he laughed, moving out of the shorter girl's way as he started his staring again, this time [ ] noticed him “......What?” She asked as he looked down at her, an unreadable look on his face. “Kendo” she called as he hummed, moving closer “Yer gorgeous” Kendo blurted out as [ ] started to stutter, eyes going wide. Taking teo steps forward he essentially trapped his friend between the corner of their kitchen canopy. “Remember when I fought that bastard of an ex you had?” Kendo asked as he saw [ ]’s eyes go soft , shaking her head “What about him...i'm still mad you almost lost everything just to fight him yknow” she huffed as he poked her cheek “Id do it again if it meant you'd be happy again yaknow” Kendo said as he leaned down to push his head against hers, amber and [ ] eyes mingling. Lifting his large hands he traced each side of her cheek, analyzing over her face as he nuzzled against her nose “Stop playin hard to get would ya? Bad enough you got my heart all in your little hands” he whispered as [ ] just started at the giant , her arms gently coming over to cover his that were place on her cheeks “K-ken..i need to start you hair..” She hopelessly try to argue as he groaned, burying his face into her neck. Squealing at his damp hair touching her shoulder [ ] jumped ,pushing the large boy back “Your hair's wet!” She whined as he chuckleed, mo\ving back as it turned into a booming laugh “Oh my ‘m sorry babe , you look surprised” He said as she smacked hsi chest “Go to the sink, i need to rinse the conditioner” She yelled as he hwld his hands up in a mocked surrender, pulling his shirt up and off in one fluid movement. Caught up by him stripping his shirt off [ ] gave him a glance over, the heaviness of him admitting feelings for her in his own unique way still lingering in her mind as the toned and strong back of her friend made her head hazy. Turning around from the lack of notice of his smaller friend Kendo caught the eys of [ ] staring, her eyes quickly flickering to his curious ones as he grinned “See somethin you like darlin?” He teased as she grunted, reaching up to push his head in the sink “Shut up and let me do your hair”

And like clockwork, Kendo rappa was an icy blonde after two days, a break given to his long ,thick and wavy hair, the giant boy looking over his new look as he sighed happily, loving to have his hair finally look normal. “Well damn [ ]! Ya made it even better than what i was thinking. Look! My hair’s all wavy at the ends and it's soft! Whatever you made me do made it feel better!” He raved as the girl looked over her work. And in fact it was highly even, his hair consistent and lavishy soft. Giving him a shy look she giggle “That's what a deep conditioner will do to damage hair and the way i'm always untangling your hair for you, i knew it would need it before you wanted to go white” She said as he just kept running his hands in his hair, turning back to her “I could just kiss you right now!” He blurted out as they both froze at his words, eyes wide from both parties “I-I aint mean it [ ]” He croaked out as she giggled, stepping back from him “O-of course you didnt, why would you i mean aha..”She said as she moved away more , his own words started to hit him as he realized the reverse effect it was having “NO! No, I'd want to kiss you, I really really want to. I just...want it to be on your terms okay?” he said as he grabbed her arm, holding her in front of him as if she'd float away if he didnt.

“Kendo...I..” [ ] started as she came back to his hip, laying between his legs onto his thankfully covered chest “I just dont want to lose you if you decide you wouldnt want me around” She whispered as he pulled her even closer, kissing her forehead as he stared at her “Dont you ever say that again ya hear me? Youll be my princess and ill be your humble er..knight” He hesitated as he tried to think of a sweet way to explain his feelings. [ ] looked up to him as she felt here eyes feel heavy with tears. Before one even fell Kendo pushed his lips as soft as the strong boy could, wrapping a large and beefy arm around her waist as he slipped his tongue in her mouth, letting his hand slide down to pull her up to sit on the tops of his thighs while he leaned against his dresser. Softly [ ] pushed her hand on his chest and pulled away, now eye to eye with Kendo “Sorry , d-did i overstep my place” He asked as she let out a snot, before laughing. Confused, Kendo went to talk before she stopped him “No no, youre good, just that if we keep kissing on this dressed there's gonna be a hole in the wall” She said as she pointed to where the mirror kept tapping a spot, scrapes already aroring it “R-right!” He laughed too, picking her up to set her on his bed “Now then...lemme serve you princess” He said before kissing her again, not letting her rebuttal his own comment. As the two kissed he made sure to be as gentle as he could be , at times clumsily nipping her lip or his hand pulling hard at her clothes.

All in the name of wanting to show how much she meant to him. Soon he pulled away, a small string of saliva strung between them from the hearty kissing. “[ ]...i think i love you” He said as she gave him a soft look , trying to catch her breath from the dramatic kiss they came from “Good, because i love your loud ass too Kendo” She teased as he smirked,leaning down to bite her neck, causing her to moan loudly “We’ll see whos loud after im done wit ya” he gave his own tease back as he moved between her plump thighs, kissing the flesh there as he pulled her shorts to the side, exposing her flushed lower lips. Gasping she reached for his hand that held her legs apart causing the fresh blonde to look up at her, eyes wandering over her face for signs of him to stop “I-Im not used to being this bare sorry..” She whimpered out as it dawned on the other side of her words “Have you ever ate out baby?” he asked as she hid her face from him, shaking ehr head as he groaned, pulling her shorts down as he saw her lacy panties , a smirk placed on his lips as he peeled them off too, a string of arousal keeping them plastered to her lips “fuck, that bastared really didnt take care of you” he growled as she sat up to see his darkening eyes kiss up to her lips whispering out a “but i will” as he sucked one of her lips into his mouth, causing a lound moan from the woman he was inbetween. Slowly he licked up her lips, searching for that small pearl as she whined, a hand coming down to tug his hair. Grunting he soon found it, sucking onto her clit as she gasped, her thighs shutting over his head as he looked up to her, watching as her back arched off of the bed once her pressed his tongue hard against her clit. Softly he let a hand run under her thigh, a single thick finger tracing over her twitching hole as he pushed it in gently, making [ ] squeal. “K-Ken!” She called out as he looked up again, catching her eyes and flushed face on his actions. Making a show of what he was doing he let a second one join the first as he sucked hard on her bud at the same time making [ ]’s eyes roll back as her hand fell from his head, nervous od pulling too hard. Kendo however had other plans. Feeling her walls tighten around his fingers he made sure to find that spongy spot and hitting it, finally pulling his lips from her clit as he smiled “Uuh Uh doll, look at me” He growled as she hesitantly glances at him, regretting that she did. He looked way too good, hair a mess as he was panting, catching his breath from being down on her. With evry pump of his fingers his muscle in his arm twitched, making her own walls spasm as she watched it “Ya like it sweetheart?” He asked as she shook her head, watching him move back to her pussy “Good, cause i aint done” He said as he gave her clit kitten licks beofe slurping on it, throwing a wink at her as he picked up his pace, making [ ]’s voice rise as she felt herself getting close before quickly snapping at a particular hard thrust of his finger to her spot on her walls.

Letting out a light scream she came over his fingers and tongue, the male laughing gleefully as he sucked up her juices. LEtting her come down some he watched her face as bliss spread through her body and a sense of confidence whent though his. Slowly he picked up the pace of his fingers again, going from a shallow push to more stroking as he heard [ ] whine, grabbing at his hand “Uh uh sweetheart, you taste too good fro me to only let you cum on my tongue once” he said as he pushed her down by her stomach, letting her take his spare hand as he went back to suckling on her lower lips. He knew he had a lot in stored for her, and watching the newly admitted love of his life cum from his pleasing was enough for him to realized he needed to do more. Popping off her clit as puling his fingers gently out he looked at her ravished body, using his non wet hand to pull at his sweats. “Youre beautiful like this [ ]” kendo said as she took in heavy breaths, feeling her throat close as he stroked his massive size, rubbing the swollen head as he looked at her , giving her a soft smile “Ya dont have to take me just yet , hes just throbbin too much” He groaned as he twisted his hand hard over his leaking tip, feeling himself throb as he laid back on his bed. “Ride my face?” he asked with one of the most sinful looks [ ] had ever seen ; lustful eyes watching her as his large hand stroked his larger dick, the soft and fleshy muscle jumping at watching her crawl to him, throwing a leg over his neck

“I-i dont wanna suffocate you..” She said as he smirked before saying “Ya cant suffocate me i want it” Soon he grabbed her hip, pushing her onto his awaiting mouth as he picked up his pace, sliding his tongue into her twitching hole as she rocked her hips, keeping a steady pace as she held herself on his shoulder and headboard, ,depreate moand and cries tumbling out as he rocked her too, going from her clit to her dripping entrance, stoking his dick harder and harde as her moans spurred him on. Soon he felt the bud in his mouth twitch and throb harder, the sounds [ ] made increasing as his own hand sped up with his throbbing head, the telltales of them both getting close. A moan erruptred from the girl on his lips as she came again , her essence running down his face as he groaned, ropes of cum shooting onto his hand and stomach as he came himself, still stroking out what he could as the pressure he felt subside. Sliding off softly [ ] saw the mess behind her, taking it upon herself to lick up some of it as she was met with his same aber eyes, watching her move to his still hard member “Let me take care of you too?” she asked shyly. Fuck he was done for as he felt himslef hardend worse at her words, a large hand coming up to smack her ass as he psuhed her up and over his head, letting his tip and her swollen lips run over eachother. Slowly he pushed his tip past her budding lips, entranced by the way it swallowed her whole “Fuck...i love you [ ] and by the time im done with ya...youll know it” he whispered in her ear as she felet him push, more and moreof his large size spreading her lips father than shed ever had. Her eyes rolled up as she felt him bottom out, both moaning as he picked up his pace, making a soothing rhythm as little moans and whines came from [ ], deep grunts coming from Kendo as he kissed her shoulders and back, marking where he could as he felt himself get closer with how she was throbbing over his member.

Digging his fingers as deep as he could in her plush hips he let our a mantra of ‘Cummin’ i and ‘ I love yous’ in her ear as she pushed back against him, feeling herself teetering as he pushed as deep as he could go ,letting himself cum as she came too, the overwhelming feeling of him throbbing against her spongy walls and previous orgasms enough to push her over a third time. “[ ]” Kendo rasped as [ ] hummed , feeling her legs still shake with him in her “Im serious, i'm never leaving you...you're mine and i love you…” kendo said as he kissed the back of her neck, nibbling her ear as he stayed in her “Mhm….i love you too Rappa..”

[nurvuss]

I Watched the First Episode of Every New Spring 2021 Anime Airing on Crunchyroll

Hey, are you like me, and feeling like you're not getting the most out of your Crunchyroll subscription? Sure, there's stuff on there that you know you like. But whenever I look at the big long list of simulcasting shows, my eyes glaze over and I don't even know where to begin.

I wanted to change my habits and see if there were any shining gems that I should be watching. So, as per the title, I watched the first episode of every new Spring 2021 anime on Crunchyroll. And guess what? There’s a lot of crap! But indeed, there’s some stuff that’s worth your time.

Some clarification: I've only watched shows that began their first season in April 2021.

Backflip!!

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The Lowdown

As Futaba Shotaro comes to the end of middle school, his interest in baseball has begun to wane. Soon he notices the Ao High Boys Gymnastic Club and becomes enthralled, especially after seeing them perform. Once he learns they're down two members, he chooses to sign up and pursue the art of gymnastics. The club is also joined by Misato Ryoya, a star solo gymnast looking to expand his technique through teamwork.

Our Thoughts

Pretty formulaic shoujo sports anime: you've got your himbo, your thug, your ladies' man, your stoic guy, with Shotaro rounding out the cast as the shy and awkward audience surrogate. It looks wholesome enough, and the choreographed routines employ CG in a way that's quite convincing without being hideous.

Who It's For

Fans of  FREE, or Yuri!!! on Ice, or any similar shows about cute boys who succeed at athletic feats. 

Borscht Rating

Burning Kabaddi

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The Lowdown

Legendary high school soccer star Yoigoshi Tatsuya has given up on sports! That is, until he's blackmailed to join the high school kabaddi team, under threat of his online persona being leaked to the entire school. Although Tatsuya initially writes kabaddi off as stupid, the unexpected happens as he begins to have fun.

Our Thoughts

Kabaddi is kinda like competitive tag, or dodgeball but with your body instead of a ball. Burning Kabaddi is basically the shounen alternative to Backflip!! above, replete with nosebleeds, pratfalls, and dudes punching each other. The main cast don't seem to like each other very much; that probably changes as the show goes on but at first blush it's a dynamic I always find annoying.

Who it's For

Fans of Haikyuu!!? Maybe?

Borscht Rating

CARDFIGHT!! VANGUARD overDress

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The Lowdown

The newest series based on Bushiroad's collectible card game, featuring character designs by the beloved collective CLAMP. Petit middle schooler Yu-Yu just doesn't know how to say no. As his older students dress him in drag to use as live makeup practice, he suffers a panic attack and flees into the streets. After being accosted by a pickup artist, he's befriended by Megumi, who invites him to witness a Cardfight match at the local abandoned amusement park. However, Yu-yu is too shy to tell Megumi he's actually a boy…

Our Thoughts

What an unexpectedly weird concept for a show about a card game. Our hero spends the whole episode in drag, whimpering and simpering at the sight of any conflict. Then they show off the latest series of cards, which all seem to be giant buff knights with names like "Bad Steve" and "Violent Bruce". Your guess is as good as mine.

Who it's For

Cardfight!! lovers, Japanese gender studies majors, or the most desperate fujoshi. 

Borscht Rating

Cestvs: The Roman Fighter

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The Lowdown

The year is 54AD, and Nero has taken the throne as the youngest emperor of Rome. At the bottom of the population, Cestvs is a young slave training to be a colosseum boxer. Reluctant, his only choice is to fight or die.

Our Thoughts

Seeing Nero depicted as a gentle little twink is pretty funny. It's also pretty funny that the central character is named after a Roman boxing glove. The animation style transitions to some very uncanny CG when a major fight takes place, and I didn't like that one bit! This seems like a pretty average tournament anime but with a historical setting. It's currently unknown if any of these dudes are fucking each other. I'm gonna say probably.

Who It's For

The venn-diagram of Greco-Roman history buffs and lovers of tournament series?

Borscht Rating

Don’t Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro!

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The Lowdown:

Hachioji Naoto is a nerdy, introverted student who spends his time studying and avoiding socialising. When pages from the fantasy manga he's drawing fall out of his bookbag, they catch the attention of a younger student named Nagatoro Hayase. Nagatoro begins to tease Naoto for his otaku interests and awkward demeanour, peppered with some suggestive flirting.

Our Thoughts:

What would you do if a younger girl flirted with you? Would you cry? Piss your pants maybe? Maybe shit and cum? Don't Toy With Me… attempts to barely conceal its BDSM fantasy with its comedic elements, but it's incredibly apparent as Nagatoro always wipes away Naoto's tears as a sort of aftercare. It's like a lighter, comedic version of Aku no Hana, but lacking any of the ponderings or danger that made that work so special.

Who It's For: 

People who search Pornhub for "bratty sister femdom".

Borscht Rating:

86 Eighty-Six

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The Lowdown

The Republic of San Magnolia and the Giad Empire, have been at war for nearly a decade. Using advanced military technology, the frontlines are fought by giant mecha drones called Juggernauts, controlled remotely by Handlers. Major Vladilena Mirizé is one of the military's most talented Handlers in the 1st District, and one who is constantly teased by her peers for the humanity and empathy she shows her squadron. The government line is that drone warfare has kept casualties to zero, but unbeknownst to the public these "drones'' are piloted by 86ers—the lowest class of citizens, forced to live in military internment camps in San Magnolia's 86th District.

Our Thoughts

This is incredibly my kind of thing. We've got a dual narrative being set up here: Vladilena as the kind, reluctant officer of a fascist regime, and the Bad Company-esque antics of her new ragtag squad, Spearhead. The first episode is split pretty evenly between the two, with each story converging at the end as Vladilena "meets" Spearhead for the first time through her comms station. It's an explosive and enticing first episode, and I can't wait to watch more of it.

Who It's For

Fans of Fullmetal Alchemist, Psycho-Pass, Gundam, or any number of anti-imperialist war stories.

Borscht Rating

Fairy Ranmaru

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The Lowdown

In a quiet corner of the city sits Bar F, a modest drinking establishment staffed entirely by five hot young men. Unbeknownst to the general population, these men are a crack team of fairies sent to the human world to gather the latent energy of "attachment". They do this by solving the problems of young women, taking their hearts in the process.

Our Thoughts

Hubba hubba, a little something for the ladies! It's Weiẞ Kreuz with a bar instead of a flower shop, fairies instead of assassins, and some pretty revealing outfits. There's definitely a little Persona 5 inspiration here too, from the punctuating phrase "Take your Heart!" to many of the visual cues. Make of that what you will.

Who It's For

Fans of Weiẞ Kreuz, slash fic authors.

Borscht Rating

Farewell, My Dear Cramer

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The Lowdown

Onda Nozomi was once the star player of her middle school football team. Completely unmatched, she no longer plays as there's no opponent she deems to be on her level. Meanwhile Suou Sumire far outpaces her teammates, causing her frustration. By a twist of fate, these two girls find themselves joining the scrappy Warabi Seinan High School FC as they begin to learn the value of teamwork and friendship.

Our Thoughts

I don't know sports. And I really don't know football. I had to look up what the title meant, and now I barely know who Dettmar Cramer is. I'm really not the best person to judge this, but it seems like a pretty good female-driven sports anime. 

Who It's For

Fans of Ace o Nerae! or other sports manga/anime about those ever burning bonds between young teammates.

Borscht Rating

Gloomy, the Naughty Grizzly

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The Lowdown:

Pitty lives with his pet Gloomy, a massive pink bear. Can a boy and a bear truly get along?

Our Thoughts:

This is a series of minute-long gag episodes in which Gloomy mauls Pitty and blood squirts everywhere. It's definitely meant to be a morbid parody of Sanrio or San-X; it might be a Rilakkuma parody in particular? Gloomy is the kind of thing you might laugh at if it came on in between shows, but it's pretty slight to go through the trouble of putting on.

Who It's For:

Gag anime fans with one minute to spare.

Borscht Rating:

Higehiro: After Being Rejected, I Shaved and Took in a High School Runaway

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The Lowdown

After a night of drinking in Tokyo, slovenly salaryman Yoshida encounters a teenage runaway sitting under a lamppost. She offers to sleep with him in return for letting her spend the night in his apartment. Yoshida refuses her offer but allows her to stay. The next morning the girl, Sayu, reveals she's travelled all the way from Hokkaido, sleeping with random men in return for lodging and money. Feeling responsible for her safety, Yoshida agrees for Sayu to stay indefinitely in return for handling household chores.

Our Thoughts

This is kind of the inverse of Koikimo (see below), but without a scumbag character and from a male perspective. It's not nearly as nauseating as that show, but it's still a fantasy about living with a busty teenage girl.

Who It's For

Libertarians.

Borscht Rating

I've Been Killing Slimes For 300 Years And Maxed Out My Level

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The Lowdown: 

Office lady Aizawa Azusa dies of overwork in her early 20s, and finds herself standing before a lecherous goddess. Allowed a wish as compensation for her untimely demise, Azusa wishes for an endless life of leisure. The goddess reincarnates her as a 17-year-old immortal witch in an RPG-coded fantasy world. Thrilled, Azusa lazes about, brewing potions for her neighbouring villagers, and kills a small amount of slimes each day to supplement her income. After doing this every day for 300 years, she inadvertently finds herself at Level 99. Her peaceful life is soon upended as adventurers and dragons come from miles around to challenge the legendary witch.

Our Thoughts:

I'm not really an isekai fan, and that goes double for series which aren't set in an RPG, yet use RPG mechanics. Levelling up, grinding stats, min-maxing, as if it's a part of the fabric of the setting. I don't get it. I like watching numbers go up as much as the next dork, but I don't need to watch numbers go up in absolutely every piece of media I consume. Just play a fucking video game, Jesus Christ almighty.

I thought this might be setting up a fun series in which a layabout is reluctantly called upon to undertake a dangerous quest, but I don't think that's what's going on at all. When the red dragon Laika wrecks Azusa's house, she transforms into a cute young girl and the two begin living together, teaching each other the pros and cons of hard work and slothfulness respectively. The trajectory of the series might be as laid back as its protagonist in the end, which, ultimately, would be fitting.

Who It's For:

Isekai fans, slice-of-life fans. The twain have met!

Borscht Rating:

Joran: The Princess of Snow and Blood

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The Lowdown

In alternative history Japan the Meiji Period continued well into the 1930s, and the ongoing Tokugawa Shogunate has brought technological prosperity to the nation through a magical energy source called the Dragon's Vein. Sawa Yukimura runs a bookshop where she lives with her little sister by day, but by night she's an assassin for Nue, the shogunate's secret police. As the terrorist group Kuchinawa deploys transforming beasts in an attempt to topple the shogunate, Nue springs into action with their own abilities.

Our Thoughts

There are a lot of concepts competing here, and a few too many flashy transformation sequences for my taste, but I'm really into it! Nue are made up of sex workers and street musicians, often overlooked and therefore easily able to blend in. There's a supernatural Standalone Complex vibe to how the team operates, and they're almost assuredly on the wrong side. Worth a shot!

Who It's For

Fans of alternate history science fiction, Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex, Demon Slayer.

Borscht Rating

Koikimo: Koi to Yobu ni wa Kimochi Warui ("It's Disgusting to Call This Love")

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The Lowdown

Amakusa Ryo is a womanizing salaryman concerned with nothing but his own base desires. As he slips on the train station stairs one morning, he's saved by the swift action of Arima Ichika, a kind-hearted high schooler. When it turns out Ichika is friends with Ryo's younger sister Riou, he decides she's his soulmate, and begins to pursue her no matter how many times she refuses him. Comedy ensues!

Our Thoughts

Yeah, OK groomer.

Alright look, Korikimo is written by a woman and told from Ichika's perspective, so this is obviously meant to be a lighthearted "older man" shoujou romance. As an older man, all I saw were the adventures of a paedophile and the teenager he's stalking. Fuck off.

Who it's For

There's probably other stuff like this, right? If you like that, here you go.

Borscht Rating

Let's Make a Mug, Too

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The Lowdown

After the death of her mother, Himeno and her father relocate from bustling Tokyo to quiet Tajimi City in Gifu Prefecture. The former salaryman opens a quiet cafe using the remarkable mugs made by his late wife, while Himeno follows in her mother's footsteps and joins the school pottery club. Although her first project ends in disaster, Himeno makes fast friends with the eccentric pottery enthusiasts who make up the club.

Our Thoughts

It's no Eizouken, but I guess it's probably not meant to be. I'm not a big iyashikei genre fan, but if that's your thing, you might enjoy the wholesome non-adventures of three girls trying to make a mug. It's worth noting these episodes are only about 12 minutes long, with the remaining runtime segmented into live action episodes where the voice actresses tour Tajimi and unconvincingly pretend to be interested in Gifu's famous mino-yaki pottery. I think this must be a tie-in with a local tourist board. 

Who It's For

People who enjoy stuff like Aria, actually.

Borscht Rating

OddTaxi

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The Lowdown

In a Tokyo populated by anthropomorphic animals, a solemn walrus named Odokawa spends his nights driving his cab around the bustling metropolis, spending his free time drinking with his pals. Odokawa soon finds his quiet life disrupted by a caper involving a missing girl, some crooked cops, and the animal yakuza. 

Our Thoughts

A deft blend of working class slice-of-life with mystery, cute animals, and striking visual design. OddTaxi might be the sleeper hit of Spring 2021.

Who It's For

Fans of existentialist film noir with absurdist comedy, Polar Bear Cafe, walrus lovers.

Borscht Rating

Osamake: Romcom Where The Childhood Friend Won't Lose

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The Lowdown

Suehiro Maruo Sueharu Maru has his heart set on Shirokusa Kachi, the hottest girl in school. When she begins dating a young actor, Sueharu confides in his childhood friend Kuroha Shida, who's openly in love with him and he rejected in the past. Kuroha suggests the two get revenge on Shirokusa by pretending to be in love. Will Sueharu fall in love with Kuroha for real, making her dreams come true?

Our Thoughts

Give me a fucking break.

Who It's For

I don't know and I don't care.

Borscht Rating

SD Gundam World Heroes

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The Lowdown

The newest instalment of the SD Gundam media-mix franchise. In a world populated by super deform mecha, a burning meteor lands in the middle of Captain City. From it launches a terrible mechanized beast: Naughty Lion. When the police are powerless to stop it, a crack team led by Zhuge Liang Gundam and Liu Bei Gundam sorties to bring Naughty Lion to justice. When the beast stops rampaging, it transforms into Sun Wukong Gundam, a youthful amnesiac mecha horrified at the destruction he wrought. The Three Kingdoms Gundams welcome Sun Wukong into the fold to make sense of this mysterious event.

Our Thoughts

I'm an 80s kid, I know a 30-minute toy commercial when I see one.

No, seriously though, I'm aware of SD Gundam's merchandising—they're cute designs, and I even used to have a bunch of the gum rubber mini figurines. I've played the SD Great War Super Famicom games, they're fun! This is a vehicle to get kids hyped up about the latest toys, which are...based on  a hodgepodge of Journey to the West and Romance of the Three Kingdoms this year? There's even a little SD Guan Yu Gundam with a big long beard!

I kinda wanted to like the idea of a bearded robot, but the mechas are super busy and overdesigned. I guess there's only so much you can do to make your next series of toys bigger and better, so these guys are all decked out in gold accents, capes, horns, and antlers, and half the time I couldn't parse what I was seeing.

I'm so glad I don't have to watch any more of this. 

Who It's For

Very, *very* young mecha fans.

Borscht Rating

Seven Knights Revolution: Hero Successor

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The Lowdown

Long ago, the Dark God Nestra ruled the world through fear. Standing against him were the Seven Knights, seven brave warriors chosen by the Light Goddess Serrass. With their powers combined, Nestra was defeated and the lands returned to peace. Hundreds of years later the wicked Physis Cult seeks to revive Nestra, summoning undead beasts to ravage the countryside. With the Seven Knights long dead, the Granseed Academy has risen to train the next wave of heroes to combat this threat. Using special cards, the students of Granseed are able to call upon the power of the Seven Knights to guide them in battle.

Our Thoughts

As soon as the opening started with its transforming heroes and lovingly depicted weapon cards, I realised this must be based on a mobile game. Indeed, this is based on a free-to-play gacha from Korean developer Netmarble. Even before I was able to confirm this, Hero Successor failed to draw me in, eschewing details on the nature of its world in lieu of a glamourised marketing push for its source material. What's here is incredibly slight, and likely to be of little interest to anyone who isn't deep into this game.

Who It's For

Seven Knights whales, I guess.

Borscht Rating

Those Snow White Notes

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The Lowdown

Sawamura Setsu mourns the death of his grandfather Matsugorou, a talented shamisen player who refused to pass his secrets on. Not knowing what else to do, he leaves his remote village for Tokyo, taking nothing but his shamisen along with him. Soon he finds himself wrapped up in the complicated life of aspiring actress Yuna and her scuzzy rockstar boyfriend Taketo. When Setsu opens for Taketo's band, he stuns the audience with the raw emotion of his playing. However, his heart is still tumultuous. 

Our Thoughts

An entertaining first episode of a speciality music series, which is the kind of thing I have a place in my heart for. I couldn't shake the feeling of some latent misogyny that suggested the role of a woman is to inspire a tortured artist, but I might be wrong. The final few minutes take a twist by introducing Setsu's weird, horny mother who seems to have her own personal SWAT team, and it looks like the series becomes a more conventional high school anime from episode 2 onwards. Don't know about that!

Who It's For

Fans of Kids on the Slope, Sound of the Sky.

Borscht Rating

Tokyo Revengers

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The Lowdown

Former delinquent Takemichi is unsatisfied with the way his life turned out, living alone in a paper-thin apartment and working a minimum wage job under a boss who doesn't respect him. When watching the news one evening, he learns that his highschool sweetheart Hinata was killed, alongside her little brother. On the way to work the next morning, Takemichi falls in front of an oncoming train and wakes up 12 years in the past. Armed with foreknowledge, he attempts to turn his life around and save his onetime lover.

Our Thoughts

This is drawing from a lot of sources; the whole train sequence is lifted straight from Gantz, while the story itself initially seems like a Life on Mars kind of deal. In fact, Tokyo Revengers sees Takemichi jump back and forth between the present and the past, seemingly making small changes until he achieves his desired outcome. It feels like a very video gamey depiction of time travel, and one that's not super interesting.

Who It's For

Steins;Gate fans, maybe? Delinquent manga (Shonan Junai Gumi, Crows, etc.) fans, maybe? It's pretty self-serious compared to any of those.

Borscht Rating

To Your Eternity

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The Lowdown

An immortal being in the form of an orb falls to earth and becomes a stone. Years pass, an ice age sets in, and a white wolf stumbles onto the tundra and dies. The orb, able to take the form of anything that leaves a strong impression on it, transforms into the wolf and slowly learns how to use its newfound ambulatory body. The creature treks back through the tundra where it meets a boy living alone, after the rest of his village left in search of a better life. The boy recognises the wolf as his beloved pet, Johann, and the two begin living together in the harsh, lonely wastes.

Our Thoughts

I'm being a little coy with the synopsis here, and there's a major shake-up at the end of this debut episode. This one's based on a manga by the critically acclaimed Yoshitoki Ooima (A Silent Voice), and it's a depressing, compelling, and exciting start to a series. Lots of potential here!

Who It's For

Fans of NieR, Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon, Last Exile, Kino's Journey.

Borscht Rating

So, there you have it. I'm hoping this will be of use to anyone who experiences a similar sense of dread when faced with so many choices. Maybe we’ll do this again during the Summer 2021 anime season.

Also, please don't get mad at me if I'm snarky about your new favourite show! It’s just TV and I'm a big idiot anyway.

[bonesofapoet]

We Are Unsung Hymns

[jason todd x you]

author’s note: me: im only writing requests this year! also me: what if i explored the more Intense and Darker Themes of being with an anti-hero, especially when they kinda disappear, then show up half dead for the 32nd time? me again: so what im actually saying is due to Recent Events i am once again, projecting onto jason peter todd

p.s. dont judge me for the out of context Shelley quotes + this is a little rusty, i havent written in a hot second. tw blood + injury, alcohol, adult language, loneliness.

word count: 1678 (WOW)

Silence, to you, meant many things.

It was the soft hours of dawn, honey golden light streaming through curtained windows. It was the hush in your soul after a day so divine it felt more like a dream than anything else. Silence was the eye of a hurricane, the calm before the storm.

Sometimes, it was sinister. Silence meant unknown things seeping into hairline cracks left unguarded when things had been going good, going smooth, going so well you forgot life could be anything else, forgot that surprises still existed.

A day of silence had melted seamlessly into two, then drew slowly into four, even five. It had grown harder to keep your mind from straying, to keep yourself focused on the world in front of you and the people beside you. It was easier during the day as most things seemed to be, but, well.

Things were always fine, until they weren’t fine at all.

An arm of the couch, a corner chair. The windowsill cleared of clutter for seamless exits and entries under the cover of night – they all became prime places for dreaming and thinking, for worrying and waiting. For wondering if you were even allowed to be this worried, this affected, because it wasn’t like you and Jason Todd were technically dating, after all.

It was like being suspended in a sort of limbo, a liminal space; floating at a fixed point in space and time where you danced around whatever it was that had grown and blossomed so beautifully between the two of you.

Also known as: a purgatory, of sorts.

So you scrolled through old messages, camera rolls, curled up in the windowsill with a blanket and city lights for company, with city life for a soundtrack. This all dispelled the tension, the sporadic bouts of cracked composure; reliving memories that reminded you of his warmth, of his smile, focused on the ones that surrounded you with comfort. He would come home because he always came home, in one way or another – a little rumpled and tired, or a canvas stained with his journey.

You crawled into bed, grazed fingertips feather-light across his pillow, then dreamed.

Of course Jason was fine. Probably.

-

A few days later, you had become familiar with this feeling, you realized. Adjusting, finally, to all of this from the past, the present. This was your life now, and patience was a virtue. Resilience had to become one too.

Life went on.

And then you received a message, phone vibrating while out on an errand. Twilight was fast approaching, and you tried to race against the heavenly hues as they melted into deep peony pink, bled into bruised violet, became that deep navy blue always mistaken for midnight black.

Night was unpredictable, after all, and this one was no different.

{ Tuesday, 5:36 pm. From: Roy Harper

Coming in hot }

“Oh,” you said, startled. Your feet stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, crowded and loud – then suddenly, abrasively silent – but you began to move again, when your mind remembered what, exactly, that phrase meant. “Oh.”

You were home in record time. Everything happened fast, after that.

The first aid kit was in your hands within seconds, contents already finding their way onto a table, hands acted on muscle memory as they pulled a bottle of liquor, half full, from the cabinet as your front door flew open, ricocheted off the wall.

You didn’t even flinch.

“In here!”

Heavy, shuffled footsteps followed your voice. Roy and Kory hauled Jason onto the cleared space, and you didn’t bat an eye at that either.

His gear was off already, the clothes worn underneath already stained deeper, darker, saturated in places. His white streak wasn’t so white anymore, either. The harsh overhead light hid no details, and you wished this sort of scene still made you cringe, still made your breath catch and your brow crease in worry.

No one ever thought about what changed within you, when the life you crafted was suddenly full of superheroes and vigilantes. It’s never just learning how to stitch, how to help clean fancy bulletproof kevlar, or your rugs by extension. No, some changes ran too deep for anyone to see them, except for you, in moments like these.

Jason’s eyelids fluttered open, closed, rinse, repeat. He groaned, swore brutally when you began to clean up his wounds; you had learned a thing or two by this point, and this was nothing you had not handled before. Kory and Roy held him down while you worked, while you stitched and cleaned and bandaged.

Your routine was a well oiled machine. Everything slowed down after that.

“So this is what it takes for you to answer my messages,” you said, voice loud in the fresh silence, tone caught between a soothing murmur and a sardonic dig. “Just get yourself mortally wounded, avoid all that ‘don’t worry, I’m alive,’ small talk.”

Jason swats away his Outlaws, breathed a cuss as he pushed himself unsteadily upright. He tells them to wait in the jet, and they listened only after you shrugged your indifference.

“Mortally wounded. I thought you just saved my life,” he tried to joke, but this time it didn’t quite land. Not with his voice so rough and his blood on your floor.

“Take what you need on your way out,” you offered to his friends (yours too, now, you supposed). A balm in contrast to Jason’s demand.

You shared a look with Roy and Kory before they shut the door behind them.

“Rarely a dull moment.” Jason continued, more to himself than to you. He picked up the bottle of liquor within arms reach. The cap screwed off easy and he took a drink, then another while you hid the bloody dressing in the trash.

You swore you felt every emotion under the sun in the next seconds that passed. You were careful not to overwhelm either of you with any of them.

“Why didn’t you go to the Manor? You know Alfred does a better job than I do.” your fingers grabbed the bottle cap, played with it while your heartbeat rose and rose and rose. Jason probably heard it from across the room.

You knew the answer of course, at least the one he always told you.

He was quiet this time, though. Tired eyes left yours in favor of looking out the window, curtains still wide open to the prying eyes of nightfall. He went over to close them. “You never told me, but you were worried.”

It was a small truth; he had grown to trust you with those.

You wanted to smile, but you pulled a glass down from the cabinet, filled it with water and took it to Jason instead. Tugged the bottle gently out of his hand, replaced it with the glass.

He huffed a laugh, breath hitching when the movement pulled at stitches. Jason shifted his attention back to the city beyond, peeking behind the curtain every so often. His indifference to the last twenty minutes, the last two weeks-

You ventured out, turned the words over in your mind as you spoke them. “I don’t want to ruin your dramatic return.”

“But?”

“Being temporarily ghosted gives a person time to think.”

His lips twisted into a smirk, eyes bright. “Does it?”

“Jay.” you had grown careful with your words, with their delivery, but they always said fortune favored the bold. “I know you’re not my knight in shining armor -”

Jason snorts, took a drink. You were half tempted to push him out the window.

“- and I’m the farthest thing from royalty locked in a tower,” he kept his eyes to the streets, but yours could never leave him again. They didn’t want to, now that he was here in front of you, acting as if he never left. “But it feels . . . it feels like we’re in a fairy tale, sometimes, you know? And then I don’t hear from you for weeks, or you come home with a bullet lodged in your shoulder, and I can’t help but wonder, ‘What the actual hell am I doing?”

Jason looked at you then, expression closing off, bright blues steeled. “What are you doing?”

You don’t know, and you tell him that too.

But you were still here, and you hadn’t told him to leave. He knew that, and you could see him begin to remember, see him begin to let the tension ease up just enough to be casual.

He said nothing before he stole the breath from your lungs, just like he always does.

“’Death and love are yet contending for their prey.’” he quotes, and you allow yourself that small smile then, moving close enough to touch him, for him to touch you.

You wondered how long it would take, for him to start quoting a poet. Little did he know, you spent enough of his time away reading his favorites to feel closer to your anti-hero, and, well. At long last, two could play that game.

“’Though storms may break the primrose on it’s stalk, though frosts may blight the freshness of it’s bloom, yet spring’s awakening breath will woo the earth, to feed with kindliest dews it’s favorite flower, that blooms in mossy banks and darksome glens, lighting the green wood with it’s sunny smile.’”

Jason’s grip on the glass tightened; he had to look away, because – what the fuck.

Shelley always had a way with words, but hearing them spoken in your voice, so raw and practiced with that glint in your eye -

Oh.

The expression he wore now – it was the most real, the most wholeheartedly Jason, you had ever seen. He cleared his throat. “That’s not even the same poem.”

A quiet laugh fell obnoxious and graceless through your lips, and you couldn’t stop it.

“I’ll work on that one next time you leave me.”

Jason Todd pulled you into his arms then, hid his smile in your shoulder as you held him tight, and held him close.

[natsubeatsrock]

Should Hiro Mashima die?

My answer is no. 

Though, this isn't about actually killing Hiro Mashima. Kinda got you with the title, though, huh? (This was originally going to be titled “Is Hiro Mashima dead?” and released on his birthday. You’re welcome.)

This post is about a widely debated topic of analysis known as the "death of the author." I've talked about this a few different times in passing in a few posts over the years. You could argue that this belongs in my series rewriting Fairy Tail and I considered placing it there. However, I feel that it's better that I keep this detached from that series. This topic concerns criticism of any series. Naturally, being a Fairy Tail blog, I plan on engaging this with the context of Fairy Tail's author being dead or not, hence the title. Still, this is helpful to think about for analysis of plenty of other series.

Again, though, my answer is still no.

Let's start with the origin of this term. The term comes from an essay by Roland Barthes called "La mort de l'auteur". Use your best guess as to what that translates to. I highly encourage you to read the essay as it's pretty short. It's about six or seven pages, depending on the version. There are three main points to his essay.

Creative works are products of the culture they come from and less original than people expect. 

The idea of the author as the sole creator and authority of creative works is fairly modern. 

The author's interpretation of a work shouldn't be considered the main or only interpretation of a work.

Of these three points, I'm sure you recognize the last point. But first, I want to talk about the other points. I believe it is important to understand the arguments being made as a whole.

The first point should be fairly uncontroversial. The vast majority of creative works use established language, tropes, and elements to create a new thing. I wouldn't go as far as Barthes does in this regard. Not to mention, this is somewhat weird to know considering his third point. However, I agree that creative works should be considered products of the culture and genre they come from.

The second point is a bit trickier for me. To be clear, the point is true. You only have to look at various cultural mythologies as an example. There isn't a single version of the Greek myths. There are several versions and interpretations of the various stories and myths. 

Even recent popular fictional characters have had several different interpretations. This is especially true with comics. There have been multiple different Batman interpretations, Spiderman runs, and X-Men teams that fans love. Fans even love and appreciate numerous forms of established characters like Frankenstein's monster and Sherlock Holmes. So, as a consumer and critic of art, I can understand this.

My problem is as a creator of art. I understand this being contentious when it comes to something like religious myths. But, if I create something, I want to get the credit for it. I want people to love my music or writing. But I also want people to recognize me for my skill in crafting it.

This is true even if you hold to the first point Barthes made.  Even if you believe that no art is truly unique, isn't the skill of synthesizing the various tropes and influences around a person worthy of credit in and of itself?

Then again, I am not without bias in this. Barthes says that the modern interpretation of the author is a product of the Protestant Reformation. As a Protestant myself, I get that my background plays no part in my view of this. Barthes also blames English empiricism and French rationalism, but personal faith is the biggest influence on me that Barthes lists.

That being said, there's also something Barthes completely misses in his essay. In the past, stories were passed down by oral tradition. As the stories were passed down from generation to generation, they slowly evolved and became what they are known today. Scholars today can gather a general consensus of what a story was meant to be and some traditions were more faithful about passing traditions down than others. However, you can't always tell the original author of a mythological story the same way we know who gave us stuff like the Quran or the Bible. 

As time passed, stories were written down. With this, it was easy to share single versions of a story and identify its creator. We know who made certain writing of works even before the 1500s. For example, we have the Travels of Marco Polo and Dante's Inferno and know their authors. We could tell the authors of works were before the Protestant Reformation. 

By the way, the Reformation happened to coincide with one of the most important inventions in human history: the printing press. Now you can easily make copies of an individual's works and you don't have to rely on word of mouth to share stories.

I can't stress how important an omission this is. The printing press changed the way we interact with media as a whole and might be the most important invention on this side of the wheel. And yet Barthes doesn't even mention as even a potential factor in "the modern concept of the author"? In his essay about understanding written media? That’s like ignoring Jim Crow in your essay about Birth of a Nation bringing back the KKK.

Now, we get to the final point. The author's original intentions of their works are not the main interpretation. This is understood as being the case after they create the series. Once the work is written and sent into the public, they cease to be an authority on it.

It's worth recognizing how this flows from the other two points. Barthes argued that works of fiction are products of their culture and our current understanding of an author is fairly modern. Therefore, the interpretation of the reader is just as valuable as that of the author. As Barthes himself wrote, "the birth of the reader must be at cost of the death of the author." 

At best, this means that a reader can come away with an interpretation of a work that isn't the one intended. With Fairy Tail, my mind goes to the final moments of the Grand Magic Games. My view of Gray's line "I've got to smile for her sake" has to do with romantic feelings for Ultear. I don't know of a single person who agrees with this. Mashima certainly hasn't come out and affirmed this as the right view.

It's good to recognize that a work can have more meanings behind it than the ones intended by its creator. Part of the performing process is coming to a personal interpretation of a work. In many cases, two different performances will have different interpretations of the same work, neither of which went through the creator's mind. At the same time, both work and are valid.

That being said, there is an obvious problem with this: readers are idiots. Not all readers are necessarily idiots. But enough of them are idiots. The views of idiots should have as much weight as that of the creator. Full stop. Frankly, I maintain that idiots are the worst possible sources to gauge anything of note. (At the very least, policy decisions.)

I know this as a reader who has not been alone in misunderstanding a work. I know this as an analyst who has had to sift through all kinds of cold takes on Fairy Tail. (Takes that are proven wrong simply by going through it a second time. Or a first.) And I definitely know this as a creator who has to see people butcher my works through nonsensical "interpretations."

At the same time, the argument Barthes made comes with an important caveat. He also argued that works are the products of the culture and surroundings of the author. Barthes isn’t making the argument that author’s arguments don’t matter.

As far as I can tell, Barthes doesn't take this to mean that those influences are worth analyzing. Doing so would be giving life to the author. However, there should be some recognition that a creative work didn't come to exist out of nowhere. There's a sense in which Fairy Tail didn't just wash up on the shore chapter by chapter or episode by episode. It came to be as part of the culture it came from.

Now, you'll never guess what happened. Over the years, the concept of "death of the author" lost its original intent. Nowadays, people usually only care about the third point. "Death of the author" is only brought up to dismiss "word of God" explanations of work, after its release. I'd venture to guess that most people using the term casually don't know anything about its roots. I honestly don't know how Barthes would feel about this.

I can understand what might fuel this view. A writer should do their best to write their intended meanings in a work. It would be wrong of a writer to make up for their poor writing after the fact. I don't love Mashima's "Lucy's dreams" explanation for omakes. I know Harry Potter fans don't love the stuff J.K. Rowling has said over the years.

At the same time, my (admittedly Protestant) understanding of "word of God" and "canon" is that they have the same authority. After all, the canon IS the word of God. It is a small section of what God has said, but it isn't less than that.

Of course, it's worth recognizing that nearly every writer we're talking about isn't even remotely divinely inspired or incapable of contradiction. This understanding should cut two ways. An author should never contradict their work in talking about it. Write what you want and make clear what you want to. On the other hand, writers can't fit everything they want to in a work. I'll get to this soon, but their interpretation should be treated with some value.

By the way, people will do this while throwing out the other arguments made by Barthes in the same essay. People will outright ignore the culture and context that a work comes from in order to justify their views. Creators are worshiped and praised for their works or seen as the sole problem for the bad views on works.

What worries me most about this modern interpretation of "the death of the author" is its use in fan analysis. People seem to outright not care about the author's intent in writing a story. They only care about their own interpretation of the work. Worse still, people will insist that any explanation an author gives is them covering up their mistakes. Naturally, this often leads to negative views of the work in question.

This is just something I'll never fully understand. It's one thing if you don't like something. If you don't get why something happened, shouldn't your first move be to figure out what the author was thinking? Instead, people move to the idea that it makes no sense and the writer's a hack.

If all of this seems too heady, let's try to bring this down to earth. Should Hiro Mashima die so that his readers can be born?

Hiro Mashima is one of many mangakas who were influenced by Akira and Dragon Ball. He considers J.R.R. Tolkien to be one of his favorite writers. Monster Hunter is one of his favorite game series. He's even written a manga series with the world in mind. 

It would make sense to look at Fairy Tail purely through this lens. You could see Fairy Tail as a shonen action guild story. Rather than seeing the guild as a hub for its members, Fairy Tail's members treat those within it as family. Rather than focusing on one overarching quest, the story is about how various smaller quests relating to its main characters threaten their guild. Adopting this view wouldn't necessarily be an incorrect way to engage with the series. (Mind you, I haven’t seen this view shared by many people who “kill Mashima”.)

Though, there's more to Fairy Tail than the various tropes that make it up. If you were to divorce Fairy Tail entirely from its creator, you'd miss out on understanding them. There are ways Mashima has written bits of himself into the series. Things that go farther than Rave Master cameos and references.

My favorite example is motion sickness. I often think back to Craftsdwarf mocking motion sickness as a useless quirk Dragon Slayers have. It turns out that its origin comes from his personal life. Apparently, one of his friends gets motion sickness. He decided to write this as part of his world.

This gets to the biggest reason I don't love "death of the author" as a framework for analysis. I believe the biggest question analysts should answer is why. Why did an author make certain decisions? You can't do this kind of thing well if you shut out the author's interpretation of their own work. Maybe that can work for some things, but not everything.

I've had tons of fun going through Fairy Tail and talking about it over the past seven years. More recently, I've been going through the series with the intent to rewrite the series. I've made it clear multiple times in that series that I'm trying to understand and explain Mashima's decisions in the series. I don't always agree with what I find. However, trying to understand what happened in Fairy Tail is very important to me.

It's gotten to the point that I love interacting with Mashima's writing. I talk about EZ on my main blog. I can't tell you how much fun I've been having. I'll see things and go "man, that's so Mashima" or "wow, I didn't expect that from him." HERO'S was one of my favorite things of last year and I regularly revisit it for fun. It's the simplest microcosm of what makes each series which Mashima has made both similar and distinct.

Barthes was on to something with his essay. I think there should be a sense where people should feel that their views of the media they consume are valid. This should be true even if we disagree with the author's views on the series. But I don't know that the solution is to treat the author's word on their own work as irrelevant.

There's a sense where I think we should mesh the understandings of media engagement. We recognize that Mashima wrote Fairy Tail. There are reasons that he wrote the series as we got it and they're worth knowing and understanding. However, our own interpretation of the series doesn't have to be exactly what Mashima intended. We can even disagree with how Mashima did things. 

I know fans who do this all the time. They love whatever series they follow, but wish things happened differently. Fans of Your Lie in April will joke about [situation redacted] as well as write stories where it never happens. You love a series, warts and all, but wish for the series to get cosmetic surgery, or take matters into your own hands.

And who knows? It's not as if fans haven't affected an author's writing of a series. Mashima's the perfect example. I've said this a few times before, but Fairy Tail has gone well past its original end at Phantom Lord (or Daphne for the anime fans). Levy rose to importance as fans wanted to see more of her.

Could Mashima have done that if we killed him?

Before the conclusion, I should mention another way “death of the author“ comes up. People will invoke “death of the author“ to encourage people to enjoy works they love made by messed up people. Given everything we’ve said up to this point, that’s obviously not what should be intended by its use. For now, though, I do think that we can admit that we like the works of someone even if we don’t agree with everything they did as a person. (Another rant for another day.)

In Conclusion:

“Death of the Author” is an imperfect concept, but it’s not without its points. I don’t think we should throw out the author’s intent behind a work. However, we should be able to have our disagreements with the author’s views without killing them.

[tetrakys]

omg what happened in ep 4??

Yes, Damon is in love with the writer’s self insert.

Oh, I understand very well, that’s the problem.

Yes like WTNC, but worse. I used to like WTNC but at first I had two issues. The first was the use of “them” pronouns for August, this because we don’t have gender-neutral in Italian and that was literally the first time I ran into someone addressed like that so I didn’t even know what it meant, it just sounded odd. Then I educated myself a bit and quickly got used to it. The second was the whole Ezra-Finn situation. I played up until episode 6 or 7 I think, but then I quit. Not because I wanted to, but because my interest dropped to 0 just like that.

There is a reason why I don’t like LIs having feelings for other characters, I’m not crazy, it’s not just a jealousy thing, this character belongs to me and no one else, it’s more than that. The excuse writers use for these kind of situations is usually the same, “we want our character to be realistic”, “they have a life outside of the player” etc.

But actually it’s exactly the opposite.

The LI develops feelings for the MC only when the player chooses them to. If they don’t the character is in love with someone else, usually if the player wants them to (in this case not even). Basically this means that only me deciding to romance that character means that he won’t be in love with the person he cares for anymore. Do you think this is realistic? Not even a little. My choices do not command other people’s feelings and choices in real life. This either makes the writing completely illogical, and I don’t like plots that don’t make sense, or the LI still has feelings for that other character anyway. And why, real life or game, would I ever romance someone who has feelings for someone else? I have too much self-respect for this.

And, in this case, Damon is in love with one of the writers self insert which makes things way worse, because no matter how much one wants to reject canon when they wish to, the writers are the Gods of that universe and their word is law.

I don’t like self inserts in general, the need to put yourself into a fictional story in a position of power by making yourself better and cooler creeps me out a bit and I also find it kinda ridiculous, personal opinion. While I was playing the episode I felt like I was reading a self-insert fanfiction, seeing how the character is so cool and powerful, everyone is either respectfully afraid of her or wants to bang her, even the roughest members of our crew looked at her with frightened awe (all of them, check it out) and, the thing I found even crazier, we have the option to feel jealous of her or have a crush on her. I was surprised-pikachu-face all the time while I was reading... like, they really went there? 

This whole episode basically read like an indulgent self-celebration, and MAYBE IT’S JUST ME, most people maybe won’t even get bothered by this and won’t feel like they are the secondary character in the author’s own fairy tale, so don’t come for my head (I will ignore it anyway), everyone has their own opinion. I just know that this is not going to be the last episode like this because another self-insert is going to come and I am pretty sure it’s going to be Calderon’s ex.

So yeah, this is the situation, my favourite LI is Vexx and he seems safe for now, but who knows... I won’t make plans so I’ll see if I’m in the mood to keep playing or not when episode 5 comes out.

[ddaengyoonmin]

Chapter 9

Pairing: Jungkook x reader, Taehyung x reader, Jimin x reader, Namjoon x Reader, Jin x Reader  eventual Ot7 x reader in later chapters

Genre: fluff, angst, smut in previous and later chapters

Theme: Based kinda on sword art online a lot of similar ideas and themes kinda combining the idea of them trapped in the game, but the world is closer to ALFheim online

Warnings: Sad Jungkook and Jimin (Thats a warning because no one wants to ever see these bbys hurting and the author is v sorry.) , A small brawl between members

Word Count: 2.4k

 Jungkook stood in the doorway of the small cave room.  “Found you…” He muttered.

-----------------

You felt like you wanted to throw up.  How did he even find you here? Not that it was your biggest concern at the moment…

Jimin had a terrified expression on his face as he stood up to try and explain,  “Jungkook I-” he started but stopped when Taehyung also entered the room.  Even though Jungkook was in most every way the victim of this situation, Taehyung had always scared Jimin more, and for good reason.

Jungkook just shook his head, a heartbreakingly hurt expression on his face, and stumbled out of the cave room slowly.  

Taehyung took a moment to scan the room, inspecting the situation in front of him.  You were scurrying to re-dress yourself when it clicked in his mind what was happening here.  Taehyung was filled with rage.  In a flash he ran over to the cat hybrid and had him pinned against the wall.  “What the fuck did you do?” he growled.

“Nothing she didn’t want me to” Jimin said with a confident smirk, trying to hide his fear and at the same time assure Taehyung that it was all with permission.

Taehyung still wasn’t pleased with this answer.  He cocked an arm back and punched Jimin in the face.  

Jimin’s health bar took a small hit at this action.  

“Tae don’t” you shouted at him.

Taehyung simply scoffed and shot a glare your way before storming out of the room.

Jimin tried to go over to you for some comfort after being hurt, but you stood and took a few steps back from him.

“I really fucked up Jimin.” you started to sob and shake your head, putting your hands out to tell him not to come any closer to you.

He hung his head and remained silent.

“I have to go” you spoke quickly and rushed out of the room to go find Jungkook.

When you left the small room to enter the bigger room in the cave, you saw that Jungkook and Taehyung were face to face with Namjoon and Jin by the fire.  Aggressive stances and looks being exchanged by each duo.

“You’re not taking her back!” Jin shouted putting up his fists

“That's debatable” Taehyung hissed out, now mirroring Jin’s actions.

“Wait” Namjoon spoke with his face full of confusion. “Holy shit! Jungkook!” he exclaimed

“Oh my god... Namjoon is that you?” Jungkook gasped now looking the fire fairy over “Dude, what the hell” he yelled.

At that moment you had gotten close enough for your presence to be noticed

“Do you guys know each other?” You asked, though it seemed to have an obvious answer as they had used each other's real names.

Jungkook didn’t look at you or acknowledge that you’d spoke.  But Namjoon returned your gaze at them and answered.

“Yeah, we work together actually”

What an odd coincidence you thought.  They probably felt the same.  The tension in the room toward each other had gone down significantly at their revelations.

“So do we still have a problem here?” Taehyung questioned. “You guys know each other so we are good here right? Y/N comes with us” he moved towards you grabbing your arm and pulling you close to him.

Namjoon hesitated.  “I-I’m not sure…” he mumbled. He smacked a hand to his head “I should’ve realized that it was someone I’d know...dammit.  Your game strategies so far have been so skilled, only another game maker would’ve been smart enough to know to snatch up a water fairy at the beginning like that knowing what kind of stats and abilities she had.”

Wait...what? You stared at Jungkook in shock, he still avoided your gaze.  “Game...maker?”

Taehyung nodded since Jungkook obviously wasn’t about to acknowledge your existence any time soon.  “Jungkookie here is a game designer, he played a big part in the creation of this very game we all stand in now” he extended his arm waving it across the room, “And apparently you too... Namjoon was it?” he turned his face to the fire fairy.

Namjoon nodded “Yeah we were in charge of creating the types of spells, skill points and at times the types of quests and rewards for the mission that would be put into the menu screen.  We also got to beta test the game about 2 months ago, so we’ve had a lot of experience already.  There were about 20 of us that got to do that.  They are all probably here too.  But, Jungkook and I are the ones that got furthest in the game” He laughed “Most were better at creating rather than playing”

Jungkook stared down to the ground.  This wasn’t exactly how he’d wanted you to find this out.  He hadn’t wanted to tell you at all, thinking you might blame him for helping create this horror.  He felt guilty about it every day since you’d all been trapped here. Yet, at the same time, what did it matter now anyways.  

He had traveled at top speed going off tips from other players who had overheard a party talk about needing a water fairy so they could try and raid the dragon cave in Niflheim.  When he saw the cave with light from a fire shining from its mouth, he’d hoped he’d find you there.  

When he arrived he’d snuck in using his skills in illusion and sneaking to remain undetected.  He expected to find you tied up, or worse.  Now out of anger part of him felt the worse he expected may have been better than the worse he’d found.  He walked in just in time to see you cumming on Jimin’s fingers.  The man that this whole time Jungkook had thought was torturing you, holding you captive.   He had expected to see you cry out in relief at seeing him when he arrived to rescue you.  But you didn’t need rescuing, you were having a great time.  

He was so hurt, and embarrassed that he had assumed he meant anything to you.  He obviously didn’t, if he did you wouldn’t have been in such an erotic position with another man.  A position that he had pictured himself in with you many times.  He was angry at you, and angry at himself for being so fooled.  When you had kissed him at the inn, he felt like it meant something, and that you felt the same.  

His feelings for you weren’t gone even now, but he didn’t know how he’d ever be able to face you again without seeing that scene play in his head that he’d just walked in on.  The pain in his stomach was unbearable.  And on top of all that now you were probably going to hate him for being one of the game makers.  Not that he wasn’t assuming you might already hate him, because how could anyone who cares about someone do something as cold as what you’d just done.

“Jungkook did you hear Namjoon?” Taehyung was staring right at him.  

Jungkook had been so lost in thought he’d zoned out from the conversation that was still going on between the other three men around the fire.  

“Uh...no actually I’m sorry” he shook his head.

“I said we were such good teammates in the beta version of the game, so it seems like the best solution here is to just join our parties right? Then we both get the water fairy and two great minds” He grinned as he repeated suggested a second time.

“I don’t excuse you for stealing her in the first place, we weren’t just using her like you guys were.  Her name isn’t water fairy, its y/n and she’s our friend” Taehyung said narrowing his eyes at the two men “but this does sound like a smart plan don’t you think Jungkook?” he turned to him.

Jungkook simply nodded.  They were right, it wasn’t a bad idea, Namjoon and him had dominated in the beta test of the game, making it many floors higher than anyone else had with just the two of them.  Yet still he was not too pleased with the idea of having to stay in the same party as Jimin.  He was hoping that if he took you back, if he was able to force you away from Jimin that maybe you’d find yourself having regrets and if you ever did in the first place maybe you’d develop some feelings for him again, maybe he could win you back.   

Little did he know you were already filled with regrets, you had been instantly even before seeing Jungkook standing there in witness to your crimes against him.  You felt like the world's biggest idiot.  How could you do something this horrible to the man you loved. Loved?

Jimin had said that he knew you loved Jungkook, and when he said that you hadn’t thought of it as love. But back in that small room when you had snapped out of the haze of your lustful mess you had created you had realized that yes, it was love, you loved Jungkook and you had just made a horrible mistake.  From here out you were going to do everything you could to make it up to him.  If he’d ever even want to talk to you again.  

“The water fairy agrees I suppose, if I’m allowed a say” you joked hoping to break some of the remaining tension that still was lingering in the room.

Jungkook nodded again and sent a request to Namjoon to merge the parties.

As he did Jimin had wandered out into the room to stand near his brothers.

“That one needs to watch himself” Taehyung growled pointing at Jimin.  “If you still want him alive he’s really gotta learn to keep his hands to himself”

You gasped softly at how aggressive that comment was.  Jimin shyly went and cowered behind Jin.  

Namjoon looked shocked as well “Let’s keep the talk of friendly fire out of this party for everyone's sake huh? We’re all on the same side now, so I’m going to suggest we put whatever grudges we are holding in the past” He said sternly “But, yeah he’ll be good” He added and turned to Jimin with an authoritative look.  Jimin nodded quickly.  

Things seemed to calm down and everyone sat down around the fire.  Taehyung and Jin actually seemed to be hitting it off, sitting down together, each staring at the other’s screen as they compared stats and items that they had found.  They even traded a couple items they had seen that they admired.  Namjoon and Jungkook discussed strategy and things related to what they had done in the beta version of the game.  

“Did you notice how much they hiked up the price on the Inn? That was bullshit” Namjoon scoffed.  

Jimin sat silently as far away from you as he could.  Occasionally he would try and meet your gaze trying to flash an apologetic look your way.  You would only glare and quickly turn your attention away, looking at Jungkook and trying to listen in to him and Namjoon, as if to show Jimin who you really had your heart leaning towards. It wasn’t completely Jimin’s fault in the moment you had wanted it just as much. You couldn’t help but be reminded of your weakness and failure to control yourself every time you looked at him.

He was hurt as well.  He didn’t mean to make you betray the one you loved.  He just couldn’t help himself, he was so infatuated with you, and you were there, so close and comforting him.  When he’d first joined your party back in the woods that second day, he’d started out just flirting with you for fun and for the sake of trying to charm you into leaving your party.  It didn’t take long for him to realize Jungkook was who you had your eyes on.  

You always looked at Jungkook with such a sweet expression that he could only have dreamed would be turned toward him one day.  He wasn’t exactly sure when his fake feelings for you had turned real, but when they did it was more than he’d ever felt for anyone before in his life.  He loved you so much, and he’d had you, underneath him, moaning his name so gracefully and beautifully, it was pure bliss. But, now he feared you’d never speak to him again, he was only the man that had caused you to be disloyal to Jungkook.   

Once the conversations had started to die down and everyone was falling into their sleep, you decided to approach Jungkook.  He was still awake sitting with his knees pulled into his chest poking the fire with a stick.  A frown planted on his face as he was lost in a deep thought.

You moved to sit close to him, hoping he wouldn’t get up and move away.  To your relief he didn’t.  

“Hey” you breathed out softly.

He didn’t respond, still staring into the fire.

“Jungkook I’m sorry…” You started. “I promise that meant nothing to me.  We had just gone through something terrifying and I was weak and...I���m sorry I shouldn’t be trying to make excuses. I fucked up.  I really fucked up and I know it.  I knew it instantly before I even saw you there” you started to feel your eyes fill with tears.

“Okay.” He said without emotion.

“Jungkook…” you were saddened by his lack of words.  You wanted him to scream at you, to tell you how stupid you were.  You’d even be okay with him saying how much he hated you.  Anything but this quietness.  He was hurt, he was more hurt than he was angry and it was killing you inside to know that you were the one who had made him feel this way.

“I wish I could take it back” you whispered.

“Yeah, me too” he softly replied, you could see him start to tear up himself.  He covered his face with an arm.  “Please just let me be y/n.  I can’t right now okay.  We’ll talk more tomorrow”

You hoped he was telling the truth.  Because tomorrow you were going to tell him you loved him.  You’d tell him tomorrow and the next day, and every day until he finally was able to forgive you, if that was possible.  You had to try.

[hitchell-mope]

(Third film. After “ready as I’ll ever be”. In the woods of Auradon)

Lonnie (on her cellphone to Elsa): thank you your majesty. See you soon. (She hangs up). Ok. So we got Agrabah, Arendelle and New Orleans on our side.

Dizzy: what about Auroria and Cinderellasburg?

Jane: you know it just occurred to me how stupid some of these names sound

Lonnie (shrugging): we didn’t name em. Auroria. Possibly. Cinderellasburg. I dunno. Remember it’s her son who’s the homicidal maniac.

Dizzy: true

(In Ben’s office the three villains are looking at smoking hole in the carpet where the king once was)

Maleficent: is he dead

Chad: I dunno. Never done this before. Just thought of what would hurt him and did that. Dunno where that ball came from

Adam: what exactly would hurt him.

Chad: I think it was something to do with you sir

Adam: well he did destroy my portrait. And you had better hope he’s not dead. If he is then he’ll be used as a martyr and the bastards will be even harder to subjugate.

Maleficent: oh don’t worry. The bodies scattered throughout the kingdom? They’re merely asleep. The wand won’t allow otherwise. And a rookie did perform it after al

Adam: so what next?

Maleficent: I need to hunt down the ember and hopefully capture my daughter. You two make sure that the boy isn’t found by his allies.

Chad: Roger

Adam: we are not on a walkie-talkie

Chad (hopefully): but we could be?

Adam: no. You still have your cell

Maleficent: and you have a telapthic link with me. Adieu gentleman

(She disappears into purple smoke)

Chad: ooh I almost forgot. Where’s Audrey

Adam: don’t know don’t care. She’s not important. And she’s thrown in her lot with the villain spawn. She’s not worth saving son

Chad: I did this for her. I need to tell her. She can finally be my queen

Adam: and if she doesn’t want to? Because your skin is peeling off on your cheek

Chad: then I’ll make her. I have the wand. A little trance and then we dance.

Adam: whatever you think is best. Prince Chad of Auradon

Chad: I like that name

(On the island Facillier Celia and the boys have just sat down for lunch)

Carlos: god I forgot how good your cooking was

Facillier: well I’m glad I can still do something for you children. Even if it isn’t much

Gil: this is more then enough sir

Jay: to be honest I kinda missed this. Running away from Jafar. Coming here. Playing arcade games. Having proper good and not glass lined stew. Thank you

Facillier: your very welcome Jay. I have two extra slices for the girls when they come back from their fathers. Would they be interested

Gil: Evie would

Carlos: mom won’t. Vegetarian. But dad probably wil. If not then 🎶more for me🎶.

Jay: I’m done. I’ll put them on the bikes. You go play some games.

Carlos: ahaha I don’t think so. Not after yesterday. I’m coming with you. Don’t even try to stop me

Jay: and miss out on quality time with you? What am I? And idiot? Don’t answer that, just assume the position

(Carlos happily jumps in Jay’s back and they leave the arcade. The silence doesn’t last long)

Jay (from outside): HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK!!!!

(Carlos scurries back in slightly out of breath)

Carlos: the Hook’s stole our bikes. Jay’s chasing them. How long do you think mom and Evie will be at their dads?

Facillier: I don’t know. Why do they want there bikes

Carlos: the blonde said something about revenge redemption and repentance

Facillier: shit

Carlos: what

Celia: Harry’s alive. And they know.

(Outside the sisters Hook are on the bikes and Jay is chasing them. The give him the slip and he takes a shortcut which ends with him crashing through the apartment of someone he knows)

Jay: good thing I can’t get hurt

Cassim: Jay?

Jay: Cassim? You moved?

Cassim: I’m squatting.

Jay: of course. When this is all over I’m coming back for you personally. I need my grandpa after all

Cassim: Aladdin adopted you?

Jay: yup.

Cassim: I’m glad. Now what the hell are you doing

Jay: the Hook bitches stole two of our bikes. Trying to get them back.

Cassim: then go son, go

(Jay teleports away from the apartment straight into the girls path. They crash into him, flip over and land in a pile of crates against the wall)

Jay: you know. I have it on good authority that this is where your brother landed last year. After my friend stabbed him in the dick

Cj: don’t speak his NAME!

(She screams and aims a knife at his throat. He holds her wrist stopping her in the process. There’s a cracking sound)

Jay: do you really think you can hurt me. (Harriet tries to att ack him but he sweeps her legs from under her, she land on her back and he puts a foot on her throat) both of you are just as pathetic as your brother. Now. Tell me (his eyes glow bright gold) why did you steal the bikes?

Harriet (slowly suffocating): Harry. He’s, he’s

Jay: he’s what?

(In hades lair mother and son have just finished their talk)

Harry (still in disbelief): he though she was a mermaid. Oh god the injuicetus of it all

Hades: the what

Harry: it’s not fair. I can’t be related to those. Hold on. Do I have magic?

Hades: I don’t know. You might be a Vernon. James, while very bloodthirsty and oh so confident

Harry: yuck

Hades: is 100% fully human. So I don’t know if you have it in you.

Evie: and besides what do you care if you’re half mermaid? Your owner is an octopus. You haven’t got a leg to stand on

Harry: ohoho neither does the king kid sister

Evie: don’t call me that you have NO RIGHT

Harry: if I have magic. I’ll be more powerful then you

Evie: oh you think so do you? You’re only half god. The rest of you is stanky part human. I’m half sorceress. Mal’s half dark fairy. We’re better then you. In every way shape and form.

(This is when “anything you can do” happens. After the song)

Mal: are you two quote finished? Only cause I really want to get home before the kingdom falls and my fiancé dies

Evie (scoffing): of course. It’s always about what you want. You don’t even care that I’m in a crisis

Mal: I’m sorry what was that?

Evie: oh nothing. As always you’re too wrapped up in your own crap to see I’m suffering

Mal: oh my apologies dear sister. But who’s god awful advice last year led to the deaths of sixteen members of the paparazzi?

Evie: you’re the one that lost control. And then tried to kill me.

Mal: I was pissed that Ben got kidnapped. I also tasered Harry in the neck and nearly crushed Gil’s aorta in a fit of magic induced psychosis. You’re not special

(At this point the guys speak simultaneously)

Harry: you did what to Gil?

Hadie: you killed sixteen people?

Hades: that explains the magical history tour

Mal: Uma tore out my own heart and made me put it back, we used the book to resurrect them and yes the attempted sororicide is what led to it

Hades: wow. And. After all that. You still want to help.

Mal (shrugging): I live there. I have to help. Who else will?

Hades: the authorities. I don’t get it. After everything you’ve been through. Your mother. The coronation. The whatever it was the news called it last year

Evie: the green cyclone. It a lot PR to get rid of. I should know. I was in charge of it

Hades: and now this boy your mother possessed. You’re not thinking about yourself when you really should. By all means. Be all who you think they need you to be. Or be none of it. You don’t owe them or this world a thing. You never did.

Mal: is that from man of steel?

Hades: possibly. We get a lot of old used up films here

Mal: I never really paid attention to the movie besides the two leads

Evie: OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!

Mal: ...I think we need to talk. We can use your den right dad?

Hades: be my guest

Mal: thank you. CMON!

(She teleports Evie and her self to the den and seals the place)

Mal: now c’mon. Spill. Out with it

Evie: out with what?

Mal: the reason you’ve been pissy since the altercation we all had with Adam

Evie: I just...don’t...see...why you’re... ok with all this

Mal: oh?

Evie: he left us. With them. And I know he had his reasons. But they doesn’t excuse or lessen what he did. And I’m so...angry. That you seem fine with it. And it’s not fair. You have the height. More magic. The title. I love Doug and I can’t even say it to him. You’re the main character in this little soap opera that is our lives and I’m on the fringe of it all trying desperately to get a major part. But of course. Your story way isn’t it. And it’s always been like this. Ever since we were thirteen and I stabbed it in the leg. Got a quick hug from Carlos and he rushed straight into your arms and you punted next into the barrier. It’s irrational. And illogical. But I’m not a Vulcan. I have my own shit to sort out and it just feel like I’m constantly waiting out there for it to be my turn. I I.

(This is when “waiting in the wings happens”)

Mal: wow. And yet you’ve never tried out for choir

Evie: hey!

Mal: sorry. But seriously. You’ve been holding onto this whatever this is. For what? Ten years?

Evie: I hate that you’re right. I hate that you’re coining and I’m not. And I hate

Mal: you think I’m coping? I hate it too. I hate that he left us just as much as you do. But I do understand it. If I couldn’t be near Carlos I’d do whatever I could to keep him safe. Even if it meant ceasing all contact. And I know you’d do that for Dizzy and Gil would do that for the twins. I don’t like it but I understand it.

Evie: I guess.

Mal: ready to go back in now?

Evie: fine

(They go back to the main room only to seek new problem)

Harry (absolutely incensed): WHADYA MEAN I LOST A YEAR OF MY LIFE!

The sisters (unimpressed): this should be interesting

(At the arcade. The Hook sisters are ties back to back on the dinner table. Carlos is having a minor breakdown)

Carlos: woah woah wait. So you’re telling me. That the bastard that’s haunted my nightmares since I was eleven years old. Is the son of hades, Mal and Evie’s older brother. And you never THOUGHT TO TELL ANYONE

Harriet: why would we AAAAAAAAARGH

(Jay just flexed the cord binding the two sending an exceedingly painful electric shock through both of them)

Jay: yeah. You don’t get to talk to Carlos. Neither of you deserve to talk to Carlos.

Cj: we only require the presence of one.

Jay: English please

Gil: me. CJ’s talking about me. What do you want.

Cj: do you even care. Did you even think about them. All year long. You forgot them. Traitor

Gil (with more calmness then they deserve): I do care. I come here with my brother and our friends every Friday and I help with the relocation. As for Uma and Harry. They terrify me. They gave me the same look you’re giving me right now when I left. Uma wanted to get out of here, who wouldn’t, but when anything doesn’t go her way she turns cold and horrible. Harry, well, you know how he is. I loved them. And I know they loved me. But they terrify me. And you don’t terrify people you love. So no. I’m not the traitor. No matter what you say.

Jay: how long have you known?

Harriet: since Hadie brought him to the ship 19 1/2 years ago. I was three. I named him after meself.

Celia (unimpressed): huh inspired.

Harriet: if pa knew he had made it with a god who can take a lady’s form at will and sired a child in the process. Harry wouldn’t have lived to say his first words. And don’t either you dare say that it woulda been a good thing

Carlos (muttering): well

Harriet: SHUDDIT. It didn’t help. Father hated him. Insulted him. Tried to hurt him. It’s why I broke both his legs and poked out his eye. Everything I’ve ever done is to protect my brother and sister. And I’ll not have him be put at risk because his whore of a mother couldn’t keep her pissing mouth shut!

Jay (chuckling): I’m sorry have you MET your brother?

Harriet: yes. He’s an angel has a great respect for women. Would kill for his family. I raised him right

Jay: you raised a perverted overly violet ambiance is what you did

Carlos: I just hope that mom and Evie kill him before he gets here

(In the lair Harry’s having one of his patented meltdowns)

Harry: I remember HAHAHAHA I rememhahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA

Evie: May I?

Hades: May you what?

(Evie walks up to her mortal older brother and slaps him around the face so hard he spins in perfect 360 and falls on his face slapped cheek landing on the floor painfully)

Harry: owwww

Mal: you’ve lost a year of your life. Big rotting whoop. You’re still nineteen

Harry: that’s even worse. I should still be young and beautiful

(The girls burst into hysterical laughter. So much so they actually start choking on air. Their brother is unimpressed)

Harry: so not only do you hate me. You think I’m ugly

Mal (trying very hard to keep a straight face): you are not a 12 year old girl and I am not your mother. So yes. Your hideously repulsive to me. More to the point. You’re nothing. You were born nothing. And god willing you’ll die nothing. You repulse me and everyone you know. The only reason our cousin ever kept you around is because she felt sorry for you

(Harry slaps her around the face. In turn she punches him in his face. Then uses magic to screw him up into a tiny little ball. And kicks him into the tv. After which he unfurls himself looking very much the worse for wear. This is when “you’re a mean one mister Hook” happens. After the song)

Evie: so you think we can leave him here as a moulding husk?

Mal (ruefully glancing at their father): I highly doubt it. The Samaritan here will probably heal him.

Evie: ooh idea time

Mal: yeah.

Evie: a repeat of last year. We take it hostage. And make Uma comply to our demands.

Mal: hmmmmm tempting. Can we still keep it beaten bloody and broken.

Hadie: ok this has been alluded to but I gotta know! What did he do. If he’s just in a different gang to you what could he have possibly done to make you hate him so much?

Mal: he attacked my son five years ago. He kidnapped my boyfriend and tried to throw him to sharks

Evie: he extorted my daughter for protection money. He fought my boyfriend last year

Harry: the dwarf stabbed me in the dick

The sister rotten: YOU DESERVE IT

Mal: he’s a foul vile disgusting little troglodyte who deserves eternal torment

Evie: he’s literally a bastard son of a bitch, father

Hades: somehow I think that was directed at me

Evie: ohoho if you’re ever going to be sure of anything in your too long life, be sure that every insult I currently have racing around in my brain is directed at you

Hades: thank you dear

Mal: we should get going

Evie: agreed

Mal: first though dad. Two questions. One. May I have the ember please? (He tosses it to her). Much obliged. Two. Come with us. Please?

Hades (looking guiltily ashamed): ah

Hadie: our dear old dad has barely left the lair. Yesterday’s incident was the first time he’s gone that far since

Evie: my second birthday. Of course

Hades: I’m sorry. I am so so sorry. I just. I can’t risk you, any of you, getting hurt because of me.

Mal (disappointedly): ah. Oh well. That’s fine. Long shot anyway. C’mon E. Wait.

Hadie: what’s wrong.

Mal: that (she points at Harry’s unconscious form). What’re we gonna do with it?

Evie: we’re gonna have to take him with us. A genuine hostage situation. If Uma tries anything. We threaten it’s life

Mal: I like those odds. (She conjures up a hair thin coil of rope and hogties Harry with it). There. That should do the trick

Hadie: doesn’t that hurt him

The sisters rotten: who cares?

(They leave the lair with the pirate railing behind like a deformed balloon. Once they’re at the arcade Evie stops Mal just before the dragon goes inside )

Evie: wait wait wait!

Mal: what what what?

Evie: ok. First of all. Uncalled for. Second of all. What do we tell the others about that?

(She points to Harry)

Mal: the truth

Evie: ok I know you have this “I don’t lie” policy, which is frankly bullshit, but sometimes lying is better

Mal: they’ll find out anyway. No use in letting it fester. C’mon

(They enter the arcade. And immediately notice the hook sisters chained up on the table)

Mal: hey guys. What’s going on?

Jay: they stole our bikes. Mine and Carlos’s bikes they were trying to find Pennywise

Harriet (happy cry/laughing): oh my god. You’re alive AAAARGH

Jay (holding the ignited and still burning chain): hush bitch.

Carlos: is it true mom?

Mal: yes.

Carlos: you and Evie I understand. But him. Dear god hades have some self respect

Evie: Hook thought she was a mermaid

Carlos: she?

Mal: Hades is Harry’s mother. Mine and Evie’s father. Harry’s mother

Carlos: huh, makes sense

Evie: in other news. I’m a day younger than Mal. The result of a rebound apparently

Mal: Maleficent left the morning after the wedding night.

Carlos (massaging the bridge of his nose): that’s a lot of information to get in thirty seconds

Mal: sorry hon.

Celia: what do we do now?

Jay: take all three of them hostage. If Uma tries anything. Off them one by one

Carlos Evie and Celia: agreed

Mal: Gil, buddy, you’ve not said anything yet. You ok?

Gil: how is he?

Facillier: he’s fine son. He’s preserved. Intact. He’s

Gil: is he still mad. About last year.

Cj: if he’s retained the sense Harriet taught him he’ll be mad as all get out

(The core four and Celia exchange a look that says “this explains so much)

Carlos: we’ve got to wake it up don’t we?

Mal: sadly yes. Jay you’re much more level headed than oh no...

(Her attentions turned to the tv where an emergency news report is airing. In Arendelle Elsa is preparing her leave)

Anna: how long are you gonna be gone?

Elsa: as long as my daughter needs me.

Anna: well then. Beat the bastards.

Elsa: oh believe me. I will.

(She takes her rucksack and teleports away to Auradon. She slams into a dome two hundwred miles from the castle and falls to the forest floor. Back on the island Hadie’s on his exercise bike. Hades however)

Hades: I made the right choice didn’t I? It’s not a good idea for me to go. So I shouldn’t. But I should. Bugger it. I don’t know. What do you think? What should I do

(Hadie hops off the exercise bike and faces his dad)

Hadie: what do you want me to say father? You did what you thought was best. I told you not to go try and give her the ember yesterday and look what happened. And now you’re asking me if you made the right decision? I can’t tell you that. Sorry but I can’t

Hades: I know. And don’t be sorry. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have put you in that position. Oooh. Idea.

Hadie: what?

Hades: go with them. Protect them.

Hadie: really?

Hades: yeah. Iri...Mal has the ember

Hadie: oh but they still don’t like you

Hades: but Mal likes you

Hadie: good point. I better get ready then

Hades: HAHA!

(This is when “I’m so sorry” happens. After the song. In the arcade. The news caster is fear-mongering)

Newscaster: we don’t know what’s happening. The black smoke descends and leaves people unconscious. It is believed that a villain may have escaped the barrier after Hades’s attempt yesterday afternoon. The king is missing and lady Mal is nowhere to be fargh (he lets out a strangled scream as his heart is ripped out of his back. His face goes slack and he speaks with Maleficent’s voice) I know you are watching dear. So do me the courtesy of paying attention for a change. I know he gave you the ember. For some reason he took quite a shine to me so it would make sense that you are the favourite. Can not fathom why though. You are basically useless and very difficult to love. Anyway. Give me the ember at your earliest convenience and return to the isle with me and the toffs will live. Fail to do so. And I shall kill every last man women and child in Auradon until only tour pathetic little friends are left. And I will make you do away with them. Just know Maleficent Bertha that if you deny me what happens is your fault. You’d choice sweetie. (The heart is placed back into the mans chest) I’m sorry I don’t know what happened for a minute there urk

(His neck twists violently to the left and he falls down dead)

Mal: oh no. Oh nononononononono.....

(She enters a verbal cycle that only Jay notices. He switches off the tv and gets on the dinner table)

Jay: ok. EVERYBODY OUT. NOW

(Everyone hightails it outside and he sits down beside Mal on the floor)

Jay: it’s ok. You’ll be fine.

Mal: you don’t know that

Jay: I do. I do know that. You know how I know that? This sort of thing has happened to us so many times before. And you know what we do? We win. Every. Single. Goddamn. Time. And besides. You have the one thing Maleficent or chad will never have.

Mal: what? What do I have

Jay: you have me. You’ll always have me. I’m always gonna be there for you. Whatever happens. Be sure if this. I’m here for you

(This is when “I’ll be there for you” happens.)

[kittenshift-17]

You’re kinda harsh to your followers, at times. Do you “owe” it to them to be nice, when you write fic for free? No. But that doesn’t mean it would hurt to show a little patience...

So this dropped into my inbox around midnight last night, and I confess, I’ve had a LOT of thoughts about it since then. Now, after a sleep and with some coffee in my system, I’m going to attempt to address this without my initial thoughts of “Delete it, it’s not worth the drama” and “Bitch, you ain’t seen harsh yet”, both of which were, I expect, human reactions if not necessarily rational.

The thing about my interactions with my followers is (and this is key):

- It’s not JUST you. 

Let me reiterate. Whatever it is you’re saying, whatever fic you’re pestering me for an update for, encouraging me on, or trolling me over. 

YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE DOING IT! 

Now, does that sound conceited? Sure. Maybe. Does it sound like I’m being an ungrateful ass for daring to react in a human manner when 100+ people on the regular ask me the same thing over and over and over again? I suppose, to some, it would look that way.

But let me put it to you this way:

- Do you like being nagged, whined to, cussed out, or harassed? 

- Do you like it when complete strangers skirt around fandom-based social media to seek you out on your personal social media accounts, including my personal Messenger, Facebook, and Twitter, even though I have a Kittenshift17 FB page and my Tumblr account they SHOULD be using instead if they want to make contact with me outside a review?

- Do you like to be PM’d just to be told you’re an asshole. Or a failure. Or a waste of space who should do the fandom a favour and jump off a cliff?

- Do you like answering the same question over and over and over and over and over again?

If you answered “No, I don’t like it” to any of the above questions, then maybe you have a small taste of why, occasionally, I’m a bit impatient with my followers.

Now, rationally I know that a lot of the time when people DM me asking for an update, they mean well. They like whatever thing I’ve created enough that they would like some more. Which is great. Hooray, I’m a teensy bit famous on the internet. Rationally I know that messages inquiring about an update schedule, or a crumb of hope that something will one day be updated (preferably sooner rather than later) are well-meant, and people might even think they’re being nice to reach out that way.

Factually, however, it starts to feel like I’m back in Middle School and my Mother is nagging me to do my homework. Again. And again. And again. BECAUSE IT’S NEVER JUST YOU WHO’S ASKING!

Now, my mother found out the hard way that nagging me to do my homework meant I was willing to fly by the seat of my pants without studying AT ALL for any of my classes, rather than cave to her methods.

Unfortunately, that’s been ingrained. So while I’m sure that in your mind, it’s lovely and polite flattering to DM a favorite author and ask them, “Uh, excuse me, sorry to bother you, but could you please update Tip of My Tongue, post-haste?” or, the ever infuriating “UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE!” reviews and messages I’ve received too many times, y’all only succeed in sparking the same rebelliousness I gave my Mama as a teen, you know?

You DM me about it in any way demanding more, and my brain reacts with a “Fuck that thing! Not touching it now!” (Brain is very basic, especially if it hasn’t had any of the happy-bean-juice yet). It’s not rational, I’m aware, and it’s never malicious, but it’s what happens.

So, yeah, if I’ve been gearing up in private to work on something and then I receive a visit from an Obnoxious Fairy about it, I get cranky. My “harshness with my followers” as seen in the public eye is nothing compared to some of the things I say in private when I get thrown off my game, or get attacked, harassed, insulted, or abused. 

Because.... I’m actually a person on this end, you know?

I’ve got a full-time job, that, with travel to and from is closer to an 80 hour week than the 40 I actually get paid for. I’ve got family and friends I like to visit with or speak to on a regular basis. I’ve got responsibilities, like buying bloody groceries, and fueling my car, and paying my bills, and playing with my cats, and trying to get enough sleep not to actually unleash on a follower when a comment or a message hits me the wrong way or when my boss is being an ass. I’ve got a Boyfee whom I love dearly and whom I enjoy spending quality time with every day.

I also have original fiction stories that I write and publish to try and get some small monetary reward for my efforts on the writing front.

All of that happens, and STILL I try to find time to write the free fic because I like fanfiction and I enjoy writing it. I still find time to share it, when I don’t have to and when it opens me up to a swath of abuse I frankly don’t deserve, because I like hearing from my followers that they enjoy the thing I’ve created when they leave gushing reviews.

The only thing I ask for in return is respect for my mental health, and respect for my boundaries. Reviews are nice, and without them it can feel a bit like of a waste of time to share a story, but I’ve never demanded them, and I certainly don’t expect them. All I want is common courtesy and a bit of patience from readers, and frankly, some more common sense. My 40+ shared WIPs are indication enough that I have zero self-control when it comes to publishing updates.

IF I HAD A NEW CHAPTER READY, I WOULD POST IT! IF I COULD DO SOMETHING TO PREVENT BEING HARPED AFTER, I WOULD DO IT!

So, while I might seem “Harsh to my followers, at times”, it’s likely not just you whose done something or said something that pushed me to the “harshness”. When I snap, it’s because a whole bunch of people have done the same thing and it’s frayed my nerves. That, or you know, they might be complete moron and I confess I have absolutely no patience or respect for idiots. If you ask a dumb question, expect a sarcastic answer. It’s a part of my culture to be a bit brash and to Americans, in particular, my brand of Australian humor and perhaps my tone don’t always translate well, but I confess that if you could’ve found an answer yourself (for example, via the FAQ section of my profile on FFN), then yeah, I tend to think you might be a bit of an idiot and will be sarcastic by default.

Sorry that I’m human.

[tirimsil]

“Alicorns” are dumb

Please see “How fantasy works: Symbolic magic / thematic magic” for context.

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In Friendship is Magic, there are four basic pony races, defined here as cartoon horses who normally have cutie marks:

Earth pony, look like normal cartoon horse, much stronk, good w/ plants

Pegasus, have wings, can stand on clouds, fly, generate wind currents

Unicorn, have horns, can do telekinesis & other magic stuff

Stronk + wings + horn, eventually called “alicorn”

When the show was first conceived, the only “yeah I’ll take everything” ponies were Celestia & Luna, the mysterious Princesses of Equestria. There was no special term; both were considered unicorns in early promo material.

Lauren Faust made them like that to symbolize that they were unbiased representatives of all three pony races.

Because they were all three races at once, and so far as anyone knew at that time they always had been, and they were the only two around, they could not be racist in favor of their own race.

... of course, due to Half-Elf Syndrome, this would not completely stop racists from hating them for being two-thirds another race... but it’s a big help.

Now let’s get into the nomenclature of “alicorns”...

───────────────────────────────────

The word “alicorn” originally referred to the material composing a unicorn horn, or to an entire horn intact. In ancient times, swindlers would pass off various animal body parts as alicorn, claiming that alchemical mixtures containing it would promote health and long life. The most popular actor to play alicorn was the spiraled tusk of the narwhal, and today unicorns are almost exclusively depicted with very similar spiraling horns.

Sometime around 1984, fantasy author Piers Anthony re-appropriated “Alicorn” as the personal name of a specific winged unicorn; he apparently saw it used in reference to a statuette of a winged unicorn in an ad, and had never heard of the word before then.

Anthony was a prolific enough author for this errant usage to quickly spread into the fantasy vocabulary of several languages - as in, several besides English, the only language where the word already meant something. Like “Pegasus”, it quickly changed from the name of an individual to the name of a species.

"Alicorn” eventually found its way into the brony fandom, where it became one of those words used obsessively to make sure everyone knows you know the word exists, even though Celestia and Luna are all three races and not only the two covered by the term, and the show lifted it from there.

Oh, right, let’s talk about that.

───────────────────────────────────

We’re all aware that Twilight, originally a unicorn, later became an “alicorn” (with the first in-show use of the term uttered by Rarity) thanks to a Deus Ex Machina. “Here’s a song, have some wings, OK bye”.

I got childishly butthurt about that like everybody else, but I realized in hindsight that it should have been very predictable: The most popular MLP toys were always the most princess-y ones, and Twilight was the main character and easily the most popular of the six both with little girls and with poonhounds, so of course they’d make her a Princess (at least in form) so they could release a whole second toy to make, to use the industry term, “a buttload of money”.

Twilight transforming into an “alicorn” was only mildly a problem unto itself:

It questioned the viewers’ natural presumption that “alicorns” were always that way and not a transformation to begin with.

It threw off the balance of two to a race the main characters had.

It worsened the narrative underuse of Rarity’s unicorn magic by making her even more obsolete in favor of Super Twilight.

It was a very clumsy end to a very clumsy season.

Still, it opened the door for further alterations to the “alicorn” concept.

───────────────────────────────────

What walked in the door was Cadance. She ruined everything.

Faust originally designed Princess Cadance (supposedly a royal family member) as a normal unicorn, the same way that Prince Blueblood (supposedly a royal family member) was a normal unicorn. I distinctly recall Faust’s immediate reaction to first seeing Cadance with a horn and wings was grumpy drunk-Tweeting, but don’t take my word for that.

The spinoff novel Twilight Sparkle & the Crystal Heart Spell, which was obviously written to send back in time to a little girl from the mid-1800s, clarifies that Cadance was born as a pegasus. She just kinda worldspawned in the woods like Minecraft. She beat an evil witch with the witch’s own magic that Cadance turned into love magic despite not being a unicorn and then Celestia showed up out of nowhere like Gandalf to just POOF make her “an alicorn” because apparently Celestia can just do that.

Also Cadance is adopted.

The adopted pegasus is an “alicorn” whereas the actual blood relative of the “alicorns” is just a unicorn. No wonder Blueblood has nothing but contempt for all living things.

───────────────────────────────────

The malafest pit of corruption that is Cadance’s uterus had to make her kid (Flurry Heart) “an alicorn” right at birth.

Celestia and Luna said they’d never heard of a pony being born as an “alicorn”, which means Celestia and Luna weren’t born that way either.

This destroys the entire reason “alicorns” were ever conceived.

If Celestia and Luna were once any of the normal three races (presumably unicorns), then they are no longer race-neutral; racists will still treat them like the race they started as, and the public can accuse them of bias in favor of their original race, all the same as if they were never “alicorns” at all.

Of course, Twilight (unicorn) and Cadance (pegasus) would suffer the same obstacle, with a mild advantage to Cadance in that what her original race is may not be public knowledge since that happened off in the magic fairy forests of horse-Germany and only Celestia, Princess of Trolling, is a credible witness.

Only Flurry Heart, 15+ years down the line, could reasonably claim to be race-neutral... but who’s going to believe her? That’s never happened before. The greatest living minds and oldest memories of Equestria, Celestia and Luna themselves, said they’d never heard of such a thing. The public will much more likely forget any proof they ever had of Flurry Heart’s birth and presume that, like every other “alicorn”, she wasn’t originally one and that she’s trying to hide “what she really is”.

After all, racism is founded on delusion; it doesn’t matter what race Flurry really is, merely what parody of race she can be plausibly dubbed as.

───────────────────────────────────

Race-neutrality was the only reason to have any “alicorns” at all and none of them can fulfill that purpose; not even the one who’s actually race-neutral.

Here’s what we got in exchange for that blunder:

Absolutely nothing

"Alicorns” gained no consistent lore or mechanics for how they occur, nor any clarification of how or even whether they differ from unicorns in magic or from pegasooses in flight.

There is no clear meta-reason why the writers even need them, other than as bland children of destiny, drivers of toy sales, and general fanservice.

None of the events centering around the game of Who’s The Next Alicorn adds anything particularly profound or even consequential, and none of the characters seem to really give a damn about “alicorns” in general. Nobody is even all that surprised to see Twilight’s transformation; they just go “Wow cool!” and roll with it. The only strong reaction is the characters’ horror when they see Flurry Heart’s wings and realize the show officially doesn’t give a shit anymore about making sense or having cohesive themes.

It doesn’t even benefit the people who make bad Mary Sue OCs on DeviantArt, because they were already making “alicorn” OCs when it was only Celestia & Luna. That’s where the show got the term from, after all.

What a complete waste of potential.

[aj-the-satyr]

All the Questions......

So Tag games...... Used to do ‘em a lot then kinda fell off writing for a while and then it got quiet. Well now I got tagged in 3 of those 11/11/11 things. You know the ones answer 11 questions, ask 11 more to the 11 people you tag. Well I’m not going to tag anyone other than the 3 people asking @writersblockandapotoftea @carrotgirl-1 and @rosewinterborn and say thankyou for doing so. So here goes..... the goat tries to get through all 33 questions.

1) Do you hide any secrets in your books that only a few people will find?

Hmm.... I suppose that I have a habit of making the names of both things and characters have deeper meanings. Like Grigory Zmeya, his last name means snake and he is a snake shifter type person. So stuff like that.

2) If you could ask one successful author three questions about their writing, writing process or books what would they be?

Not sure about this. I’ve read interviews with many authors where they have dispensed their advice and advice is not a one size fits all thing but I would lie to ask more personal things like favorite characters, Least favorite scene to write and most surprising side character. Stuff like that.

3) Do you have a library membership?

Nope.

4) Ebooks, yay or nay?

Used them and they are fine but I am the old school like to have the physical book in my hands kinda goat.

5) What feeling do you want your readers to get from what you write?

Wow, deep question. Enjoyment? Other than that I’d like them to have feelings for different characters, to pick favorites, to hate some and love some. I suppose I’d like my characters to be memorable but I will settle for the “That was Good” feeling after reading, even if nothing gets carried with them.

6) What time of day are you most productive?

Considering how many times I’ve written my snippets after 10pm and into the wee hours of the morning, I’d say then.

7) What is your writing Kryptonite?

Myself really. There are times I just get conflicted about my writing and rather than just let it flow and let the characters lead I will find myself deleting things and starting over many times. I’m trying to do that less but it’s hard sometimes to just let go and see what happens at the keyboard.

8) Which scenes are your favorite to write?

Huh....... I’m a dialogue heavy writer trying to get more description into my scenes so I favor just talking but am trying to change that a little.

9) What comes first in your development/outlining process plot or characters?

Well considering I don’t outline anymore (Used to waaaaay back) It would have to be characters. Make the characters and pop them in a setting. Plot will happen, hopefully.

10) What is your favorite novel to film/TV adaptadion?

Comic books count right? I love the Constantine TV show. Shame it got cancelled, love the fact they brought the character back for Legends of Tomorrow and the fact he might be getting his own show again is awesome. Love Constantine.

11) Do you think yourself as more of an artist or entertainer?

Neither really. Not something I’ve ever thought about, since you are asking me to think about it...... entertainer??

Right onto the second set of questions gonna add a read more break here to avoid taking up huge chunks of Tumblr real estate and for those people that don’t really care what this old goat has to say

12) Play fuck, marry, kill with Gandalf, Aragon and Arwen.

Er........ Kill Gandalf.... no wait he’ll come back for revenge..... Kill Aragon..... man that would be hard to do..... Kill Arwen then? But I wanted to marry her.......... Man...... Kill Aragon with Gandalf’s help, fuck Gandalf as payment and then go off to marry Arwen. Problem solved.

13) If you had to set fire to a famous building, which one would you set alight?

The Vatican?

14) If you could bring someone back from the dead who would it be?

It would be Sandra, a friend I made for a brief time on the internet who I RP’d with and had a good rapport with. She died of cancer at 20 I think, it’s hard to think about. I do always remember that I talked to her through her brother in her final days and managed to make her smile, something her brother told me she hadn’t done for weeks. Crying typing this. Yeah. Fuck yeah I’d bring her back and let her live her life. Fuck Cancer.

15) Which fictional Universe would you go into?

Star Trek. No need for money, could sit at a cafe and write all day. Great.

16) Where would you go if the world ended?

Hell. Oh wait that’s not what you were asking. Er...... nowhere. No point if it’s all gone is there? I’d stay here and still be a loner. Wow..... fun goat answers.

17) What’s you alignment?

Chaotic Neutral.

18) Lovecraft or Shelly?

Er....... as much as I love Cosmic Horror Mary Shelly was one of the most badass goths there has been. Plus the whole creating the sci-fi genre as a fuck you to Lord Byron. She is amazing and doesn’t get enough respect.

19) What’s the weirdest food you have eaten?

Sea Urchin or deep fried shrimp heads not sure which I think was weirder.

20) How do you want to die?

Die? I’m immortal. Or is that immoral? One of those.

21) Who is your least favorite character to write?

Probably The Professor since he’s a homophobic bigot who killed his own son’s boyfriend (Though he claims that was merely an accidental oversight of his grander plan) since he is not a very nice character at all. Makes my skin crawl.

22) What’s your favourite fairy tale?

Can’t say that I really have one. None of them resonate anymore, neither the grimdark originals or the fluffed up modern takes. I do however enjoy the book Dragon’s Bait by VIvian Vande Velde which is about a 15yr old girl who is put out as a sacrifice to a Dragon and ends up allying with the dragon and seeking revenge.

One more set. Almost there with the goat interrogation.

23) When did you know you wanted to be a writer?

Probably in University where I started writing a little something called “Space Gerbils” and was sending it out via email to about a dozen internet friends. They were hooked, I thought it was garbage but voila! The spark ignited. Heavily got into tabletop RPGs at the same time so that probably helped my desire for storytelling.

24) What book/Book series have you always meant to read but have not yet?

The Long Earth series by Terry Pratchett and Stephen Baxter. I have a boxed set of them all but I just haven’t cracked the cover yet.

25) Who’s you favourite writer? 

Published? Either Sir Terry Pratchett or Eoin Colfer. But a special shoutout goes to @yuutfa for Caster. They are a wonderful storyteller and got many an emotion from me while I was reading an early draft.

26) What was your favourite book as a child?

It is one that sits on my shelf this very moment. It is called “Science Fantasy Stories” and is a collection of short stories that I read many times over as a child, back when I would consume a book a day almost.

27) Favorite music to work to?

Soundcloud generally has my back but it does sometimes throw up the odd track that makes me question if its algorithm has developed some sort of twisted intelligence Black Mirror style.

28) Hogwarts House?

Ah..... this question. I’ve read the books, saw a couple of the movies (Did not like the movies) and enjoyed every step of the way. I bought my first Harry Potter books when they were selling the first 3 as a set so I jumped in to see what the fuss was about. Never once have I thought about what House I would be in. Never. So Imma gonna say Slytherin.

29) Hobbies?

Writing?? Generally I play vidja games. Current faves being Monster Hunter World (PC), Endless Legend (PC) and Crash team racing nitro fueled (PS4) and I also daydream scenes with my characters in them. Trying to get back into reading regularly again.

30) Where do you draw Inspiration from?

Everywhere I guess. From random conversations to ideas had after playing games, watching TV or reading books. Sometimes I’m not sure where the inspiration comes from but I am just trying to let myself go at those moments, run with it. Who cares if The Simpsons already did it? Truly new ideas aren’t new anyway. (Except maybe for theoretical physics, that shit is bananas) I mean one of my characters basically declared themselves to be a God (At least in my head) after I read an article on Retrocausality. Inspiration can come from anywhere. Use it!

31) What do you consider your aesthetic to be?

Look I can barely spell that word you want me to have one as well?

32) Favorite mythology?

Favorite mythology of AJ the Satyr................

33) What do you think influences your work the most?

My co author?? But seriously working things out with them has been very helpful but also there’s this little writing discord that I’m part of that is really welcoming and a great source of inspiration and ideas. But all in all I think Neil Gaiman influences me the most when he answered a question about how he does it. He told the person asking that you just write everything down that happens in the first draft and then when you go back and rewrite you make it look like you knew what you were doing all along.

Right. One Goat, 33 Questions. And I won! Not tagging anyone else but I want this to get me going on these tag games. I can’t just hide in the dark corners of Tumblr anymore. I must face the light! Has @notanotherhour done this yet??

[judymulder]

Title: Hearts of Angels

Author: Judy Mulder

Author’s notes: Rumbelle Christmas In July 2017 gift for the wonderful and incredibly talented @rufeepeach. It was such an honor and such a challenge to write for one of the best writers I know. It’s impossible to raise the bar that high (especially when English is not your first language!) but I made my best effort ;) Prompt: “It wasn't love but chance”. I have no idea why I wrote what I wrote, to be honest, because it has no direct relation with that phrase, lol. I incorporated your prompt in a way that is kinda cheating, hehehe. Nevertheless, I hope you like it. From your Santa, with so much love.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to @grace52373 for being my beta!!!!. This fic improved a lot because of you <3.

Summary: When Gideon’s behavior suddenly changes at school, Belle and Rumple start to wonder if they have spoiled their son too much, just like everyone in Storybrooke claim they had.

AO3 Link or continue reading after the cut

Rumplestiltskin gathered all the mail accumulated inside the pawnshop’s mailbox. Perusing through the envelopes, he wished that those ridiculous anonymous letters were finally over. He was sure it was a joke from someone trying to make fun of him. For the past couple of weeks, every day except for the weekends, he had been receiving a blank envelope with a few dollars inside and a computer written note that read “Storybrooke Rent Funds”. That was it. The amount of money never exceeded ten dollars. His patience about this matter was running thin because he knew someone was having fun at his expense, and the whole idea made his blood boil. The last thing he wanted was for people to think he was weak or harmless but it was extremely difficult to inflict great fear in the heart of people when they saw him everyday playing with a little boy and looking at his wife with absolute adoration. Not to mention his bi-monthly attendance to bulky family dinners where all the Charmings-Mills-Jones clan was reunited (along with several dwarfs from time to time). It definitely was not easy being the Dark One under these circumstances. Not that he actually wanted to be the man he was before, but at least he wanted peace and respect and the only way to get both was by keeping the façade of a dangerous and ruthless sorcerer in front of anyone who wasn’t Belle or Gideon. So, this was the reason why these mysterious letters were driving him mad. Someone was daring to believe that he wasn’t dangerous anymore. He would not allow it. Unfortunately, he was unable to investigate this matter further because he had much bigger and pressing problems at his hands right now.  He sighed and put away the damn letter along with the bunch of other correspondences he had no intention of opening at that moment. He only wanted to close the shop for the day and go home, albeit he was afraid of dealing with a painful situation.

Gideon, his beloved five year-old son, was going through some sort of a “phase” that was driving him and Belle crazy. Until a few weeks ago Gideon was a perfectly behaved boy, with excellent grades at school, and in general, he was the pride and joy of his parents and teachers. But recently, he was utterly failing and slacking off at school. Mary Margaret was the first brave teacher that spoke to Rumple about Gideon’s change of conduct. Then other teachers followed and finally even the Principal had to intervene. Gideon seemingly stopped caring about school completely. He slept during classes, all his homework was half done or plain missing and he didn’t pay attention to any teacher’s instruction. Mary Margaret was sincerely worried because that was not the Gideon she knew. Before all this, Gideon was by far the best student in her class. If she were honest with herself, she was jealous that Gideon was a much, much better student than Neal was. They were even in the same class because, although Gideon was almost 2 years younger than him, he was way more advanced than any other kid his own age. If his own teacher was so worried about Gideon, there were no words to express how lost and alarmed Belle and Rumple were once they learned what was happening with their son.

They tried everything. They helped Gideon with his homework after school. They talked to him over and over again in the hopes he would open up to them. They took him to Dr. Whale and then to Archie. According to both specialists, there was nothing physical or psychologically wrong with the child. Gideon kept insisting to his parents that he was fine but that he simply didn’t like school anymore.

It was a common murmur among the inhabitants of Storybrooke that Rumple and Belle tended to coddle Gideon excessively. They never paid attention to those comments before because they never saw anything wrong in Gideon’s behavior and they were firm believers that if their son knew nothing but love, he would grow up happy and full of love to give. Deep inside, Rumple and Belle also knew that they were trying to compensate for whatever suffering the Black Fairy inflicted upon their son in another life. They never punished Gideon, they never yelled at him, because they both clearly and painfully remembered that Gideon was under the clutches of the most ruthless and cruel woman in all the realms. Nevertheless, and given the latest turn of events, Rumple and Belle started to re-evaluate their role as parents. To their dismay, they had to consider the possibility that they might had been accidentally spoiling Gideon during all these years.

Despite their best efforts to approach their son with love and patience, hoping that he would change his attitude towards school, nothing had worked so far. So today, when Rumple returned home from work, he and Belle would start taking other measures and attitudes towards Gideon, even if those would break their hearts. They were desperate and they had to do something. Gideon needed to know that even in his young age he had responsibilities to fulfill with himself and with his family. He needed to know what the consequences of not being responsible were. Otherwise, he would grow up as a flighty, capricious and untrustworthy man.

Rumple wished that everything that had happened in the past two weeks was just a bad nightmare and that Belle would be receiving him at home with a wide smile, telling him how proud she was that their son got another A+ in Mathematics. But when Rumple entered the living room, he found exactly what he feared. Belle’s expression was worried and sad and Gideon was sitting on the large couch with his face down, like he was already expecting a severe sermon. For a split second that image of Gideon reminded him of Belle fearing to be chastised for taking a magical object without his permission, causing an unmitigated disaster inside the Dark Castle. That thought made him feel like someone had just punched him in the stomach and guilt overwhelmed him for so many reasons. The last thing in the world he wanted was his son to be afraid of him. But he had to be firm tonight. He had to be a parent and not an enabler. It was all for his son’s sake.

“Gid failed his exams and homework again” Belle sentenced without any intention of prolonging this agony further. He could hear the disappointment in her voice.

“Son, do you have anything to say?” Rumple asked, shortening the distance between them. He crouched down in front of him as a last offering of playing this nicely. “Please Gideon, please tell us what’s wrong? Please tell us why you don’t want to study anymore? Your mom and I only want to help you.”

Gideon kept his gaze glued to the floor when he replied to his father “There is nothing wrong, dad. I just can’t be a good student anymore.”

“Well, that’s not a good answer.” Rumple stood up in all seriousness but still addressed him in a very calm tone. “If you want to be someone in life you have to study and you have to fulfill your obligations at school whether you like it or not.”

“Gid, you know dad and I love you more than anything, right? But this has to stop. From now on and until you decide to be good student again, you are grounded. You come home directly from school to your room. No TV, no computer, no video games, no toys” Belle informed her son and bit her bottom lip in an attempt to remain strong. Both she and Rumple decided together there was not going to be a “good cop/bad cop” routine in all this mess. Both of them would share the hard responsibility of disciplining their child.

“Also, in case you’ve forgotten, your birthday is next week. If you don’t change your attitude by then, there will not be a party and you won’t receive any gifts from anyone.”

This time, Gideon looked up and faced his parents with clear agony reflected in his eyes. He was the perfect image of Rumple and Belle combined into one tiny person. He had chocolate dark hair like his mom and he also had her chin and lips. But his eyes were identical to Rumple’s: same almond-like color, same sweetness inside of them. Now, those eyes were filling up with tears. It was clear that Gideon wanted to say something, but he didn’t, and instead he ran towards his room where he finally allowed himself to cry. Belle and Rumple look at each other with so much remorse and sadness from what they just had to do. Immediately, Belle closed the distance between them and buried herself in Rumple’s arms which held her tight. In no time, he felt his shirt wet and he knew she was crying too. And his heart broke because for the first time in years, he didn’t know how to fix this chip in his family.

 ***********

Gideon couldn’t stop crying. He was lying on his stomach in his bed and his face was hidden between pillows. He knew his parents were angry at him because he was not a good student anymore. But he couldn’t be one. Not if he wanted to help his friend Melissa. Gideon was willing to live with the anger of his parents and all the punishments they wanted to give him if that meant Melissa was safe and happy. But why Gideon was crying had nothing to do with being grounded and everything to do with the idea that his father didn’t love him anymore. How could he if he broke a promise to him? People were afraid of him because he was the Dark One and he’d never broke deals or promises under any circumstances. But his father had just broken a promise that he made to him in his second birthday. Gideon still remembered it like it was yesterday. He was opening dozens of gifts with his parents after a night filled with nightmares. “Mom, dad, you will always be with me to open birthday gifts, right?” They looked at him with a transparent smile and his father replied to him “Of course, Gid. I promise you that your mom and I will always be with you on your birthdays, you will never spend a birthday alone, and we will always open presents together.” Now, his dad told him there wasn’t going to be a birthday, nor gifts opening, which meant a broken promise. Gideon cried harder believing that the only reason his dad would do such a thing was because he didn’t love him anymore. Maybe mom and dad could only love a son who was smart and good at school. He loved his parents so much that the idea of them not loving him was very scary and very painful. But his parents were not in trouble like Melissa was. He needed to keep doing what he was doing to help her.

“Mom, dad, I am sorry for being such a burden for you. But please, please don’t stop loving me” Gideon asked in a whisper and kept crying until he fell asleep.

 *************

Days passed and nothing improved in the Gold’s household. On the contrary, Gideon was closing off to his parents even more because he felt alone and unwanted. They were treating him with coldness that he never experienced before and he just didn’t understand it. Was school so important to parents? Was it so important that if you fail at it they would stop loving you? It truly seemed like it to Gideon. Every day that he came home from school with bad grades and teacher reports, he was sent straight to his room. He was only allowed to be outside of those four walls to share the family meals. And even those shared moments were awful. Silence predominated at the table right after his parents asked him for the zillionth time if he needed help, and obtaining a negative answer. Belle and Rumple were so lost about the whole situation that they never saw the increasing severity of their treatment towards Gideon. Although their only intention was trying to help their son to overcome this total apathy towards school, they were completely blinded about how much their kid was actually suffering.

And then, Gideon’s birthday came. To his utter dismay, it was a Saturday. During a school day he could have pretended that it was just a normal day, but now he had the entire weekend ahead of him and he was painfully aware that he was going to spend his birthday in complete solitude, remembering that his father broke a promise to him. Belle and Rumple were by his side as soon as he woke up, to say happy birthday and to hug him, which pleasantly surprised him. But there were no gifts, no celebration, and certainly no truce from his punishment.

 **************

It wasn’t without difficulty that Melissa convinced her mom to let her go to her best friend’s house.  Her mom, like pretty much everyone else in Storybrooke, was always wary of the Dark One. Yes, Melissa had heard terrible stories of Gideon’s father. In fact, the Dark One was the reason why her parents were in distress. Melissa also wanted to blame the sorcerer for Gideon’s suffering. But she knew better than that. She was the only one to blame for everything her friend was going through. And guilt was not letting her live in peace. She didn’t know what to do. If she said something, her own parents would be suffering the consequences, but if she stayed quiet, Gideon would continue hurting. With this internal fight occurring inside of her, and her mother saying things about “running” and “yelling for help” in case something weird happened inside the Dark One’s house, she grabbed the birthday gift she had for Gideon and left home.

The Gold’s house was just a short ten minute walk from Melissa’s. She was always in awe about how majestic the Victorian pink house was. Her own house was so tiny and simple in comparison. She wondered if one day she would be able to have enough money to live in a place like this…or just to have enough money so that her parents would not work to exhaustion to put a plate a food on their table. Melissa rang the bell of the mansion and a few seconds later, the Dark One himself appeared on the door frame. His expression was extremely sad.

“Hello Mr. Gold” the little girl with red hair, blue eyes and cheeks covered in lovely freckles, greeted with certain hesitation.

“Hello Melissa. Can I help you with something?” Rumple inquired, a little surprised of this Saturday early morning visit.

“I came to see Gid, Mr. Gold. I brought him a birthday present!” she explained, showing him the golden wrapped packaged she was carrying. A wide smile appeared on her face.

Rumple hesitated because Gideon was grounded and he was not supposed to receive any visits or any gifts. But for some reason, he couldn’t turn down the girl that was standing in front of him.

“Come on in. I will let Belle know that you are here, ok? Please take a seat” Rumple guided Melissa to the living room. She sat down contentedly in the biggest, most comfortable couch she spotted, and waited there for Mr. Gold to come back.

Rumple went to look for Belle in their in-house library. She was surely immersed in a book, even though reading lately was not a joyful activity as it used to be. For Belle, reading had rather become a research activity in an effort to understand what was happening to her son.

She didn’t even hear when Rumple entered the room and he had to clear his throat, trying not to startle her. When Belle’s eyes finally made contact with his, Rumple curiously peeked at whatever she was reading because it was clearly not a book about childhood or child behavior.

“What are you reading?” He warmly inquired, sitting beside her.

“I needed a break from psychology books. My head was killing me since we woke up. You noticed how sleep eluded me most of the night” He nodded and Belle returned her attention to the book in her hands. “This is poetry, a compilation from different authors. I was just reading the most beautiful one…listen to this Rumple” Belle immediately began reading, excitedly, without letting Rumple tell her why he was really there.

“It wasn't love but chance and rather sweet-

your newly weaned son asleep in his crib, your breasts too tender

to be touched. And touch itself, too early, indiscreet.

 Your small son breathed and coughed. I tried to sleep

but couldn't ignore what your body engendered

in mine. It wasn't love but chance and strangely sweet.

 I like your name; you're used to mine, ironic repeat

of your old lover's. With so few facts ought two people surrender

to touch? (Better to date, slow down, try to be discreet.)

 Ok, let's walk around the pond, take a few months or weeks

to study each other and see what portends or

not. It wasn't love but chance and rather sweet.

I'm moved by you as well as touched: shy and indiscreet”.

 “What do you think? Isn’t it beautiful?” Belle asked when she finished reading, smiling and snuggling against him.

“It is, sweetheart…but I came looking for you because there is something you need to know. Melissa is here.”

“Gideon’s best friend?”

Rumple assented. “She brought a birthday present for our son. Maybe we should make an exception in his punishment for today?”

Belle’s smile disappeared completely. She stood up and closed the poetry book, leaving it abandoned on a small table.

“There is nothing I would like more, Rumple. But remember what Archie said, if we change the set of rules that we already laid out for him, Gideon might think that we will eventually accept whatever he wants us to accept with respect to school. We can’t give in now. Not even when this is so painful.

Rumple nodded sadly, knowing that Belle was right. Rules were rules, as much as deals were deals. They couldn’t be broken.

“Come on, let’s explain the situation to Melissa”. Belle took Rumple’s hand leading him to where the girl was waiting.

“Hi, Belle!” Melissa chirped a happy greeting the moment she entered the room and went to hug her, returning afterwards to the couch.

“Hello, Meli. Rumple told me why you came to visit. I appreciate how much you care about Gid. But you must know that he is grounded and unfortunately he can’t receive any birthday presents for now.”

Immediately, Melissa’s face turned sad, almost like she wanted to cry.

“That is not fair! Gid deserves to celebrate his birthday more than any other kid that I know.”

“But you are aware that he hasn’t been fulfilling his obligations at school. Until that change, I am afraid he will continue to be grounded.” Rumple said, and Melissa looked at him. There was a hesitation in her eyes, but suddenly, there was determination as well.

“Then it is true! You don’t love Gid anymore because he is a bad student?” She angrily retorted.

“Of course not. Why would you think something like that? A parent never stops loving their children no matter what” Belle intervened because Rumple was not able to even formulate an answer.

“Gid thinks you don’t love him anymore. He said you broke a promise to him, and you never break promises” Melissa continued, still looking at Rumple.

“What?” Rumple managed to ask although a sharp pain was surrounding his heart, keeping him from breathing properly. When Melissa didn’t answer, Rumple tried again. “What promise did I break?”

“Um, he told me that when he was two years old, you promised him that he would never experience a birthday alone. That all his birthdays would always be filled with joy”

Rumple felt those words like a needle in his heart. Melissa was right. He did say that and he didn’t remember it until now. He made that promise to his son after a nightmare he had on his second birthday. It was a nightmare about him being alone and scared in a very dark place. Rumple knew what that dream meant and he wanted to reassure his son that he would never experience that. How it was possible Gideon remembered it and not him? Rumple was just so upset about what was happening at school that he just completely forgot about that promise.

Sensing the tribulation inside her husband, Belle intended to defend their choice with respect to Gideon’s punishment. “Meli, Rumple nor I intended to hurt Gid in anyway. We love him more than anything in the world. It is because of that love, that we made a difficult decision when he refused to care about school anymore. No kid has a future without education and we are trying to ensure that Gideon understands that, so he has the best possible future.”

Melissa hesitation was crystal clear again. She wanted to say more but was afraid of something.

“Gid never stopped caring about school. In fact, I think he could skip a few years without any problem.” Melissa said, avoiding Rumple and Belle’s confused looks. “You are wrong about everything. Gid isn’t lazy or irresponsible.”

“He falls asleep during classes, he fails at exams, he doesn’t do his homework…” Belle retorted but was abruptly interrupted by the little girl.

“He falls asleep at school because he doesn’t sleep at night!”

“That’s impossible. Gideon goes to bed every night at 9:00pm.” Rumple managed to explain.

“He only pretends he is sleeping at that time, then he waits a couple of hours, and when he is sure that you two are already asleep, he starts working until it is almost morning.”

“He works? Works on what?” Rumple questioned further, completely confused about what he was hearing.

“He does the homework for other students that pay him to do it. He is very good at imitating calligraphy so the teachers never catch him. He does about 10 different kids’ homework for them each day, especially for sixth and eighth graders. That’s why he can’t do his own or stay awake for an exam.”

“What?!” Rumple and Belle exclaimed at unison.

Melissa jumped from her seat, startled at that reaction.

Belle knew immediately that they needed to calm down if they wanted to reach the bottom of this nonsensical story. She sat besides Melissa, putting a hand on her shoulder.

Rumple remained standing, motionless in the same spot.

“Meli, I am sorry we scared you. We just really need to understand what you are saying because it doesn’t make any sense to us right now. Gideon is in second grade. How is it even possible he is doing homework for eighth graders?”

“That’s why I said he could skip years at school without problem.” Melissa replied with a hint of pride in her voice.

“Why on earth would Gideon want money for? Why did he think he needed to work for money? He has everything he needs and wants under this roof.”

Melissa dropped her head and gazed directly at the floor. When no answer was provided, Rumple pushed again. “Melissa?”

When the girl looked back again at him, he could see she was crying.

“He is doing everything for me. It’s my fault that he has been suffering this much for the past weeks!”

Belle reached for her and hugged her.

“Hey, it is ok, Meli. I am sure you have done nothing wrong”

“But it is my fault! I told him that Mr. Gold was taking the house away from my parents because they couldn’t pay rent. I told Gid I was afraid of living on the streets and he said he was going to help me with the rent!”

“Oh, gods, the envelopes!” Rumple felt sick to his stomach and in an effort not to throw up right there and then, he dropped on the armchair and covered his face with his hands.

“What envelopes?” Belle asked with a broken voice and tears welling up in her eyes.

“Gid put the money he was getting everyday in an envelope with a computer-written note and secretly slid the envelop in the pawnshop’s mail box before coming home. It was supposed to be a rent fund to cover my parent’s rent and whoever else that needed it. Gid said that way, his father would not have to leave anyone without a house anymore.”

The moment Melissa ended her explanation, Rumple audibly sobbed with his hands still covering his face. The girl looked at him with a mixture of curiosity and concern. Was the Dark One crying? That was impossible! Then she looked at Belle and she was crying too. Did she do something wrong? Was she in trouble? Was Gid in even more trouble because of her? She only wanted to help her friend and she thought that telling the truth would help. But now she was not sure what was happening.

Understanding her confusion, Belle cleared her throat in an effort to speak. But she failed miserably and only managed to sob harder. She was overwhelmed by emotions. Now she understood everything and she simply didn’t know what to do with the feelings she had at the moment. Gideon did the most beautiful, selfless sacrifice for a friend. He endured stoically every unjustified word, every unjustified accusation, every unjustified punishment both at school and at home, just to help his friend.

While Gideon was doing everything right, Belle and Rumple were doing everything wrong. They caved in and listened to everyone else’s advice. Deep down they always knew all this had nothing to do with their son being spoiled but everyone else in Storybrooke thought the opposite. Oh, how Belle regretted listening to them! If she felt this guilty and hurt inside, Belle couldn’t fathom how Rumple was feeling. But if the way he was trembling and sobbing with his face well hidden between his hands were any indication, he was in absolute hell. Belle needed to be strong now if they wanted to start making amends with their son. She cleared her throat again and this time she forced herself to speak.

“Meli, thanks so, so, so much for telling us the truth. We didn’t know what was happening and now that we know, we will reverse how unfairly we have treated Gideon.”

“I just want my friend to be happy again. I… don’t mind living on the streets if that means Gid is happy.”

“Oh, Melissa…” Belle kissed the girl on the forehead. If this little angel could love her son in this way, then she was like a daughter to her too. “I promise you that you will not live on the streets. Rumple never intended to leave your parents without a house. He is just a little…strict with rental agreements. You have my word that you and your parents will always have a roof over your heads.”

“Thank you, Belle!” Melissa hugged Belle again, finally free of the heavy weight that keeping this secret had on her and knowing that revealing it could cost her family’s home and everything they had. “Can I see Gid, now?” she asked excitedly.

“I am afraid we have to talk to him first, Meli, and it could take some time. Let’s make a deal, ok? Go back to your house and we will call you as soon as we have resolved this. Then we can celebrate Gid’s birthday all together. How does that sound?”

“Good! I can’t wait for Gid to see the present I got for him!” Melissa stood up and grabbed her present, ready to go home. She wanted to say goodbye to Mr. Gold but he was still in the same position and Melissa was sure he was still crying. “Is Mr. Gold ok?” she asked Belle.

“He will be. Thanks to you. Now, let me take you to the door. Be careful on your way home.”

At the door frame Belle hugged and kissed Melissa again. “Thank you so much for loving my son with your heart of angel.”

Meli smiled and started her way back home. When Belle returned to the living room, Rumple hadn’t moved an inch, although his breathing was a little more even now. She crouched down in front of him and took one of his hands between her own. When Rumple finally looked at her, she wanted to cry again. That haunted expression, red eyes flooded with tears, was crushing her heart.

“Rumple…” she managed to say and then she just hugged him, knowing there were no words in this world that could take back what they have done to their son.

Rumple hugged her back as if his life depended on it. He was a shipwrecked man and she was his salvation table. He bitterly cried on her shoulder until he was able to speak again.

“What have we done to our son, Belle?”

“There is no way we could have known. And please, I know you are doing it, but don’t put the blame on yourself.”

“How isn’t it my fault? I was being a monster, like I always am, while my son was being an angel… I don’t deserve this family!”

“Stop it Rumple, please. Yes, you could be nicer with your tenants from time to time, but you also very well know that you were never going to evict Melissa’s parents. It is your job collecting the rent. And sometimes that is not a pleasant job. That doesn’t mean you are a monster.”

“I hurt my son in the worst possible way. I am a monster.”

“You tried to do what you thought was best for him. We were wrong and misled by everyone else’s advice about parenting.”

“That wretched cricket and that stupid doctor Frankenstein!” Rumple replied angrily.

“They were dead wrong about our son. But we have the biggest responsibility here because we are his parents and they aren’t.”

“How can we fix this, Belle?”

“Well…I think we can start by apologizing to our son.”

“How I can look him in the eye now? I feel so unworthy of him. What if he doesn’t forgive me?”

“He will. How he couldn’t with that pure heart he has?”

Rumple was a little bit more hopeful now. He silently thanked fate for having Belle by his side. She was his strength as always.

“Come on. Let’s not allow our son to spend one more minute alone on his birthday.” Belle said while standing up and taking Rumple’s hand.

Those words were enough to arm Rumple with sheer determination. Gideon never deserved a birthday like this. But they still had time to change it.

They went up to their son’s bedroom and Belle gently knocked at the door.

“Can we come in, Gid?” she asked.

Gideon was reading a book and was surprised to hear his parents at his door. He thought they would not talk to him until lunch time.

“Yes, mom” he replied.

Belle and Rumple entered his bedroom and spotted their son curled in a corner with a book between his hands. The sight brought tears to their eyes again. This was so unfair and cruel. He should be playing with his birthday gifts, not all alone and sad just reading a book.

“Did I do something wrong?” Gid asked without understanding the expression on his parents’ faces.

“Of course not, son. You did nothing wrong…but we did.” Rumple knelt in front of Gideon. Belle followed the movement. Gideon’s expression was a complete puzzle.

“Dad? What’s happening?”

“What’s happening is that we know the truth, Gid. We know everything you did to help your friend Melissa.”

“But how?” Gideon gasped.

“Melissa was here and told us everything.”

“Dad, please do not take away Melissa’s house! They don’t have another place to live! I promise you I will work very hard to give you their rent money!” Gideon was so scared about the prospect of his friend being homeless that he didn’t even realize that his parents were trying to apologize.

“Gideon, I would never do something like that. I am so sorry that I let you believe quite the opposite.”

“Your father is a strict businessman Gid, but he is not heartless. He would never leave an entire family on the streets.” Belle intervened.

“I am sorry, son. Truly I am. You were doing something noble and brave for a friend and I was treating you unfairly and I even broke a promise to you because I was angry. I know all of that is inexcusable but…can you forgive me? Can you forgive us both?”

“Do you still love me?” Gideon asked both of his parents with a doubt that hurt so much.

“Of course we love you, son!” Rumple and Belle hugged Gideon “No matter what you do, we will always love you. Never doubt that.

Sadness finally left Gideon’s heart.

“I am sorry for lying to you and for not doing my homework. I was just trying to help Melissa.”

“We know that now, Gid. And we are so proud of you! But next time that you have a problem of any kind, please come to talk to us. We will resolve it together, as a family. Ok?” Belle pleaded.

Gideon nodded, smiling for the first time in weeks.

“Now, how come you were making ten dollars a day for ten eighth graders’ homework?” Rumple asked after kissing his son, in an attempt to lighten up the conversation.

“Um, well, the kids said that was a fair price.”

“Well, I have the smartest son in the world, but I think I could give him a lesson or two in business.”

Belle chuckled at that, but Gideon completely missed the joke.

“We are so proud of you. We will have to talk about having an in-home tutor because it is obvious you are more advanced than the other kids your age. But that can wait. Now, we have a birthday to celebrate!” Belle announced excitedly.

“Really!?”

“Of course, Gid. We will do whatever you want to do today and tomorrow. Oh, and you should call Melissa. She has a present for you!”

“Yes! I want to see her to tell her that you are not angry with me anymore! Can we go to Granny’s for a hamburger and iced tea and invite her?”

“Of course. That sounds like an excellent idea.” Rumple replied with guilt still gnawing at his heart, but feeling more in peace than he had felt in weeks.

“Thank you, dad, thank you, mom. I love you both so much!”

“And we love you too son”

The End.