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michaelsfavgirl · 10 months ago

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good luck charm

Pairing: Michael Jackson x fem!reader

Synopsis: Michael is a meticulous performer, driven by the pursuit of perfection in every show. Thus, he has crafted the perfect routine to reach his goals and you're an integral part of it.

Tags: smut, masturbation, teasing, p in v, creampie, kinda switch!reader and switch!michael? idk.

Word Count: 4k

Requested: yes/no

Author’s Note: This took an unnecessarily long time to write, I put my whole heart and coochie into it, hope y'all like it :)

Links: navigation | masterlist | taglist

Michael's stress level is through the roof. To say that he is frustrated is an understatement. From the moment he woke up today everything seems to be going wrong.

The day began with an unwelcome interruption, Frank, his ever-demanding manager, barging into his hotel room at the ungodly hour of 5 a.m. hastily telling him that he had to do an unplanned interview before rehearsals which made michael groan as he had to force himself to unwrap his arms around your warm body and miss the chance to kiss you good morning. The mere thought of leaving your side caused him to groan inwardly, a pang of longing tugging at his heartstrings.

As if that early morning disturbance wasn't enough, the interview itself proved to be a tedious ordeal, sucking away precious moments he could have spent with you. After the boring, repetitive interview just as he dared to hope for a swift return to you, hopefully still asleep with your head nuzzled into his side of the bed, fate had other plans. Dragged into an impromptu meeting, he received the delightful news that the equipment for the evening's show had yet to arrive from the previous state. A perfect storm of inconvenience, how lovely, exactly what he needed.

The meeting dragged on interminably, leaving Michael gasping for a breath he couldn't seem to catch. Before he knew it, it was time for soundcheck, his every moment accounted for, no respite in sight.

While he was warming up his voice and helping his dancers perfect the choreography, you stirred from your slumber with a pout etched upon your features, your hand reaching out instinctively for Michael, only to find no trace of your beloved. Confusion mingled with disappointment as you groaned and finally opened your eyes, peering at the clock, its hands indicating that noon had long since passed.

Unbothered, you reached for the remote and flicked on the television. The first thing you saw was a news reporter talking about Michael’s upcoming concert. You smiled as a picture of Michael flashed on the screen, of your beautiful man which elicited a smile from you, a fleeting moment of joy amidst the mundane. But before you could get lost in your daydreams your body finally woke up from its sleepy state and reminded you of Michael’s promise from the night before.

You don’t know what’s gotten into you lately but your hunger for him has gotten insatiable, a primal desire that refuses to be ignored. Maybe you’re ovulating, or maybe it's the absence of his undivided attention, but at that moment, the reason scarcely mattered.

Your hands drew under the smooth, silky sheets, your fingers traced invisible patterns against your skin as your gaze remained fixated on the photograph displayed on the screen before you. With dreamy eyes, you lost yourself in the image, allowed your imagination to weave intricate fantasies.

Impatience coursed through your veins, urging you to seek more tangible sensations. With a swift motion, you tugged up the hem of your nightgown, exposing the soft curves of your body to the cool air of the room. Your hands found their way to your tender breasts, cupping them with a delicate touch that sent shivers down your spine. you momentarily closed your eyes from the contact before opening them again and looking back at the image.

God, he’s so pretty, your pretty boy.

As you gently rolled your nipples between your soft fingers you let out a quiet sigh, feeling some form of pleasure as your nipples hardened beneath your touch, responding eagerly to the stimulation. With each gentle roll between your fingers, waves of sensation rippled through you, igniting a primal fire within. Despite the tenderness of your actions, there was an underlying urgency, a hunger that refused to be quenched.

Your thoughts drift to him, to the man who occupies your every waking moment. He's so undeniably beautiful, a vision that fills your heart with longing and desire. But as much as you loved him, frustration bubbled to the surface. He's a tease, a master of seduction who knows exactly how to leave you breathless.

He very well knew how much you needed him last night. you had been consumed by a relentless need, your body aching for his touch, your soul yearning for his embrace. Your desires were shamelessly pouring out of you. You had pawed at his chest, begged him to touch you. Yet, all you received were promises of tomorrow. Bastard. Where is he now hm?

Left you all alone with a slippery mess between your legs. You were so desperate you didn’t even register your legs spreading. Your fingers trailed lower, slipping past the curve of your stomach and venturing toward your needy center. With one hand still kneading your tits you let the other lightly dance over your soaked panties. You felt the heat of your poor neglected cunt with your fingertips. The undeniable wet patch on the fabric made your cheeks heat up.

You circled your sensitive clit over your underwear and instantly bucked your hips from the contact, each movement sending jolts of pleasure coursing through your body. As you continued to move your fingers it became increasingly difficult to keep your eyes glued to the TV. The news anchor's voice was distant in your mind, drowned out by your determination to solemnly focus on Michael.

In an attempt to replicate his touch, you hesitantly slid your trembling fingers beneath the elastic band of your panties. A soft gasp escaped your lips as you made contact with the slick between your legs. Gliding your finger between your puffy folds and succumbing to the overwhelming sensations, you allowed your eyes to flutter closed, surrendering yourself to the blissful ecstasy.

Feeling the heat building within you, your body started to emit too much warmth for your liking so you impatiently threw the sheets off of you and to the floor with a swift motion. Breathing out you readjusted yourself in a more comfortable position on the soft bedding. Breathing out you resumed your ministrations with renewed fervor, your fingers danced over your glistening pearl with increasing urgency, too frustrated to slowly build yourself to your climax.

As the intensity of pleasure mounted, you found solace in the plush pillows beneath you, your fingers dug into the fabric, trying to ease the gnawing emotions swirling inside you. Head thrown back, you whined as you felt your essence drip down your slit. Oh, how much you had wished that Michael would’ve been next to you. You yearned for his presence, craving the intimacy and connection only he could provide.

Your drooling walls kept squeezing around nothing, aching for the sensation of being filled and stretched by his cock, which made your eyes glossy, the previous pout returning to your face. Muffled sighs left your lips as you pressed the back of your hand against your mouth. Whispering his name, your voice trembling with need.

All you wanted was for him to stuff your little hole with his cock, that’s not too much to ask for right? Frustration bubbled inside you as You stroked your nub faster.

Your panties were drenched at that point, With each passing moment your arousal peaked, pulsing clit weeping for that sweet release. But just as you teetered on the brink of ecstasy, your hand spasming from the quick motions, the shrill ring of the phone shattered the erotic reverie, jolting you back to reality. Gasping at the unexpected sound you cursed the damn thing in your mind for taking you out of the arousing trance you had created.

You tried to ignore it as much as you could but the persistent ringing hindered your concentration. Groaning you reluctantly reached over to the nightstand and begrudgingly answered the call.

"Hey, sweet girl," his voice flowed through the phone, instantly melting away your frustrations and causing you to sink deeper into the soft embrace of the sheets.

"Sorry I left, Frank dragged me out to do a few things before the show and then something else came up and I couldn't get back to you and…” His words trailed off momentarily as he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, baby, truly."

“It’s- it’s fine…you just promised me something yesterday,” you replied, your fingers idly twisting the cord of the phone as you spoke.

“Oh, did I?” You could practically hear the mischievous grin in his voice.

“Don’t do this to me right now, please just tell Bill to pick me up, I miss you,” you pleaded, not caring about the desperation and neediness evident in your tone.

And now, here you were, scrambling to make yourself presentable. You discarded your underwear and straightened out your skirt, hopping on one leg as you slipped into the other shoe. Hastily fixing your hair and grabbing your handbag, you rushed out of the luxurious hotel room.

Your skin still tingling with anticipation, you hurried to the waiting car, exchanging polite greetings with Bill before settling into the seat. Pulling up the partition, you finally exhale. You feel the slickness between your folds and squeezing your legs together as your sensitive cunt throbs with desire. Sealing your lips you try not to make too much noise.

The car ride feels never-ending as you have to restrain yourself from flipping up your skirt and circling your wet center. You clasp your hands tightly together and gaze out the window, hoping the passing scenery would distract your mind from the relentless ache pulsing through your body.

As the stadium loomed into view, you eagerly opened the car door, thanking Bill breathlessly before darting towards the entrance, eliciting a chuckle from him.

The familiar faces of the bodyguards greeted you as you hurried through the halls, your sole focus fixed on locating his dressing room. Lost in your determination, you collided with Karen, his makeup artist, the collision jolting you out of your single-minded pursuit and back to the present moment.

"Jesus Christ, I'm so sorry, Karen," you blurt out, suddenly realizing how frantic you must have appeared moments ago, rushing about in pursuit of your man.

"Oh, it's alright," Karen replies, adjusting her top with a casual shrug.

"Anyway, I-" Before you can utter another word, she interrupts you.

"Actually, I've been wanting to talk to you about something..." And off she goes, launching into a monologue about something that feels entirely inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.

You nod awkwardly and force a smile, though her words seem to flow in one ear and out the other. Desperately, you glance around, silently pleading for an escape from this conversation, but she appears entirely engrossed in her own narrative. Goodness gracious, can't she see that you're utterly disinterested? You've always had the lingering suspicion that she doesn't quite like you, but that's beside the point right now.

"Sorry, K, but I really gotta go," you interject hastily, sidestepping her as you make your way towards the dressing rooms, leaving her momentarily taken aback.

You are not going to let her cock block you today, no ma’am.

You navigate the corridor, scanning each door in search of the one bearing your beloved's name until, at last, you stumble upon it. Standing before the pristine white door, you take a moment to steady your breath, waiting for the frantic pounding of your heart to ease before you dare to step inside. With gentle knuckles, you tap on the door, the mere seconds that follow feeling like an eternity as you await Michael's response.

When the door swings open, revealing his soft smile on his gorgeous face, you can't help but practically fall into his embrace. Your arms wrap tightly around his torso, your face finding solace against his chest. He chuckles, not in the least startled by your sudden affection, and returns your hug, his arms enveloping you in warmth.

"Everything okay, angel?" he asks.

"...I need you. Want you so bad," you confess, your words muffled by the embrace as you bury your face further into his chest, inhaling his intoxicating scent.

Your eyes drift around the room until they settle on the plush couch. Without waiting for his response, you push him towards the sofa, urging him to take a seat. As his knees buckle from hitting the couch he settles onto the cushions, you make yourself comfortable on his lap and connect your lips hungrily.

With trembling hands, you hold his face, refusing to let him pull away as you press your body against his. Momentarily taken aback, he quickly regains his composure, his hands finding their way to your waist, where they caress your heated body with a tenderness that only fuels your desire.

As his hands trail lower, teasingly squeezing your hips, you break the kiss, a string of saliva connecting your lips. You lean lower and press your lips right below his jawline, where he’s the most sensitive. “Woah there, baby,” he murmurs, not entirely surprised by your eagerness but still taken aback by the transformation of his usually shy, innocent girl into an unabashedly greedy minx.

Uninterested in banter, you forgo any conversation, you leave a trail of sloppy, open-mouthed kisses all over his neck, wet tongue swirling over the freshly made hickeys.

Michael starts to feel the craving that has clouded your mind for hours and bucks his hips forward, making contact with your bare, soaked pussy. “Shit,” he moans, feeling your wetness dampening his trousers.

“No panties, hm? So naughty,” he teases.

If this was happening in any other circumstance you would’ve burned with embarrassment and hid your face behind your hands, but not now. Now, all you care about is sinking down on his lengthy cock and finally satiating your burning desire.

He massages your thighs as he inches his palms under your skirt causing your breath to catch in your throat. Taking advantage of this, he angles his head to your side and presses his plump lips against your slightly swollen ones. Hypnotized by his movements you lean in closer, letting him take over ,you relax into his arms, your fingers fumbling with the buttons of his shirt in your shaky hands.

“"Shh, it's okay, baby. Just relax and take what you need kay?” you coos at you with that sweet, soft voice of his that always makes you melt.

With a meek nod, you comply, grinding your soaked core against his hardening shaft. He guides your head to rest against the crook of his neck, adjusting his position to press his cock firmer against your eager pussy. A whimper escapes your lips as you cling to his shoulder, your plush thighs receiving gentle caresses before his hands find their way to your ass, cupping your cheeks in a tender hold which elicits a soft sigh from your lips.

“Gonna be my good luck charm, yeah?” he whispers, his breath warm against your ear.

A whispered "yes" escapes your lips as you roll your hips, your sensitive clit rubbing against the fabric of his trousers, leaving a telltale wet patch that he doesn’t seem to care too much about. He just wants his sweet girl to be satisfied and stuffed full with his cum before he takes the stage tonight.

As he kneads your ass in his big hands you feel your high creeping up on you. A flush of embarrassment warms your cheeks as you realize how quickly you're approaching climax. Michael notices your uneven breathing and firmly grasps your hips, halting your movements.

You whine from the lack of friction but he shushes you by taking off your top and loving up on your soft breasts, his lips lavish attention on your soft breasts, careful not to remove your bra in case someone interrupts. As he peppers your chest with kisses, you manage to unbutton his shirt completely, your shaky hands brushing against his toned torso, a silent plea for more.

Amidst the whirlwind of sensations and emotions swirling around you, you fail to notice the swift movement of his hands as he deftly unzips his trousers and tugs them down along with his boxers. Your gaze drifts downwards, and you whimper at the sight before you – his hard cock, weeping precum, a clear sign that he needs you just as much.

"Please," you beg breathlessly, not willing to waste a single moment longer.

Michael takes your smaller hand and gently guides it to the base of his shaft, where you struggle to fully wrap your fingers around its impressive girth. "Go on, take what you need," he urges.

Straightening your back and spreading your legs a little farther, you let your instincts take over as you feel the weight of his shaft in your hand. Slowly, you begin to stroke his cock, marveling at the way the hood pulls back to reveal his glistening tip. A guttural groan escapes his lips as he digs his fingers into the cushions of the couch to restrain himself from bucking his hips.

Drawing closer, you position his tip between your slick folds, a moan escaping your lips at the sensation of his hot cockhead against your swollen nub. With fluid movements, you glide it under your clit, your shared essences facilitating the smooth motion. Lost in the pleasure, you feel Michael's gaze on your face, his eyes drinking in every detail as his fingers tenderly caress your cheek, a chorus of praises spilling from his lips.

"Don't tease yourself, my love. I know you want more," his voice sends a shiver down your spine as you take a deep breath, steeling yourself for what's to come.

With a gentle shift, he adjusts your skirt higher on your waist, ensuring it doesn't get in the way as you steady yourself on his lap. Propping his cock at your glossy entrance, you slowly begin to push his thick shaft inside your velvety walls. A whine escapes your lips at the delicious stretch, your fingers gripping onto his shoulder tightly for support.

Both of your breathing quickens as you inch lower and lower onto his big, meaty cock, the tightness of your walls resisting his intrusion even as your abundant slickness attempts to ease the way. Eyes shut tight, you revel in the sensation of being filled by him, the delicious stretch of your walls sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body until the back of your thighs come to rest on top of his.

You pant heavily, pressing your forehead against his, seeking solace in his comforting presence. "Just... just need a sec," you murmur, your voice laced with a mixture of desire and anticipation, as you allow your body to adjust to his size. With a grin, Michael reassures you to take your time, his lips pressing softly against your temple in a gesture of affection and understanding.

His grunts mingle with your moans as you squeeze around his fat cock, your body finally accustomed to its massive size. With newfound confidence, you begin to move back and forth, grinding your hips against his, each motion eliciting a wave of pleasure that courses through your body. Your little clit rubs against his coily pubic hair, sending sparks of ecstasy shooting through you as you throw your head back in abandon.

Growing bolder with each passing moment, you lift yourself slightly off his length and drop down again, relishing in the sensation of being stretched with his girthy cock. You repeat this motion a few times, gaining confidence with each descent, until you find yourself bouncing on his stiff shaft.

The room is filled with the lewd sounds of skin slapping together, punctuated by your pants and moans of pleasure. As you continue to ride his shaft, you force yourself to open your eyes and gaze upon your beautiful man. His curls frame his face in a wild halo, his mouth slightly open in pleasure. Unable to resist, you lean forward and press your lips against his once more, the kiss muffling the loud noises that fill the room.

His hands guide you up and down his huge cock, setting a rhythm that drives you both to new heights of pleasure. Your cunt releases more of your juices, coating his pulsing shaft and making your movements slick and easy. Some of your essence even drips down onto his heavy balls, adding to the intoxicating sensation of being completely consumed by him.

Meanwhile, his throbbing tip leaks more and more precum, creating a slippery surface that allows you to slide effortlessly on his length. The combined sensations of his cock stretching you to your limits and his skilled hands guiding your movements send waves of ecstasy crashing over you, threatening to consume you entirely.

Michael's hand leaves your heated skin and finds its way to your lips. Without hesitation, you open your mouth and gently suck on his thumb, lost in the pleasure of the moment. Time seems to stand still as you lose yourself in the rhythm of your bodies moving together in perfect harmony.

Eventually, he gently coaxes his hand away from your lips and brings it down to where you're connected. His wet thumb finds your puffy pearl, rubbing tight circles that send shockwaves of pleasure coursing through your body. Your pupils dilate from the intensity of the sensation, and you can feel the familiar coil building in your lower abdomen, threatening to unravel at any moment.

"I know you're close, sweet girl," his words make you squeeze your gummy walls and whine.

Feeling that familiar coil building in your lower tummy you quicken your movements, bouncing on his thick cock like a desperate bunny, wanting to make him proud. Just as you are clenching around him you can feel him throb inside you, his own release imminent.

You're determined to milk him for all he's worth, ensuring that he won't be distracted when he's on stage. Burying your face into the crook of his neck, you whimper at the burning sensation in your thighs, but the thought of reaching your sweet release spurs you on, driving you to push yourself further.

As both of your climaxes draw near, you hold each other tightly, your warm, sweaty bodies colliding in a passionate embrace. Michael, lost in the throes of pleasure, slams his hips upwards, eliciting a yelp of pleasure from you. With each passing second, you feel yourselves getting closer and closer to that pinnacle of ecstasy, your minds singularly focused on one thing and one thing only.

And then, it happens. Your orgasm crashes over you with an intensity that leaves you gasping for breath. As the waves of your orgasm crash over you with fervor, you can't help but moan loudly, completely lost in the throes of ecstasy. Your cries of pleasure fill the room as your walls clench and unclench around Michael's cock. He continues to rub your pulsing clit, prolonging the intoxicating high as you ride the waves of pleasure.

Just when you think you can't take any more, you feel him drive his hips up, a primal groan escaping his lips. Rope after rope of his creamy seed floods your depths, filling you up completely and painting your walls with his essence. He grunts beside your ear, his breath hot against your skin as he stuffs you full of his cum, some even seeping out from the sheer volume.

As he empties himself inside you, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer to his chest, both of you panting and spent. The room is filled with the sound of heavy breathing as you let yourselves calm down, your mouth dry from all the moaning and gasping.

As your breathing gradually evens out, you find yourself smiling contentedly, drawing invisible patterns on his chest with your fingers. He chuckles at the sight, amused by how just moments ago, you were bouncing on his cock with such need and now you look like an innocent angel.

"It's not funny, you tease!" you playfully poke his nipple.

"Hey, it's not my fault my shows are better when you're so needy for me," he teases back, planting a soft kiss on the top of your head as you feign a fake pout and nuzzle into his chest.

Taglist: @heartss444mj @yeriminist @yeaiamme2 @helloaugustmoon @cinnamoncunt @theladyofmylife @minekarina @kionaaa @theskinniestjackson-denny @youronlyonenini @graciegizmo3184 @theasexual-jackson @mrsmikaelsxn

#kate's writing #smut #michael jackson #michael jackson x reader #michael jackson x fem!reader #x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #michael jackson imagine

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allmoshnobrain · 11 months ago

Text

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

part 29 of 35 | masterpost

word count: 2563 | ao3 link | fic's playlist

I wasn't ready for any of that. The wounds from losing Dave were still too raw, to the point that acknowledging the desire I felt for James made my heart tighten with regret. What the hell was I thinking? I'd chosen Dave. And yet, he’d left me. What I wanted didn't mean shit in changing anything. How could I want anything from James when the very feeling I had for him had wrecked everything I held dear?

✦ summary: After reuniting with her friends, Nore is compelled to confront the conflicting feelings she still harbors for James.

✦ on this chapter: dave mustaine x female!oc, james hetfield x female! oc, oc is cliff's cousin, +18, language, slice of life, angst, love triangle

✦ a/n: Hello! I've talked about this previously on my blog, but as we're headed into the last stretch of the story, I would like everyone to know: while the next few chapters are gonna dive into James and Nore's feelings a bit more, Dave will be back! His story with Nore isn't over yet. Also, we'll have an epilogue that is still on the works. I've wrapped up the main part of the story and I'm hosting a poll to see if you guys prefer I keep posting new chapters once a week or if you're up for me posting them twice a week. If anyone wants to vote, here's the link. Hope you enjoyed the read, any feedback is welcome! 🖤

✧ There's something hanging in the air, I won't say shit 'cause I'm too scared / I'll just pretend we're two lovers not destroying each other / And you don't want me to go, and I just can't say no ✧

I met with Cliff and the guys at Los Angeles airport a few days later. I have to admit, the idea of reuniting with my friends after all those weeks left me a bit on edge, and not fully in a good way. However, catching up with Cliff and Leanne, and then with Kirk and Lars, did ease some of that tension. On the flip side, seeing Pat and James hanging out together didn't really help my state of mind. I couldn't help but wonder how, in just two months, they had become so close that she got an invitation to join the tour. Then it hit me with a pang in my heart that I hadn't needed much more than that to fall completely in love with Dave after meeting him.

I didn't really chat it up much with James. Seeing him with Pat kinda brought back all the wounds from that rainy weekend a few months back. But, he did give me a hug the moment he spotted me, holding onto me for maybe a beat longer than needed before whispering, his lips right by my ear:

"Missed you so much."

Hearing that sure didn't make things easier.

Seeing the guys all pumped up about the trip gave my mood a little boost. None of them, except Lars and me, had done the whole international travel thing before. The flight to Amsterdam was gonna be a marathon, so I had plenty of time to catch up with Leanne, who picked the seat next to mine. We mainly talked about everything that had happened in San Francisco during my absence; Leanne didn't ask much about me, which I was genuinely thankful for. It was nice having her around, but I wasn't really up for diving into how the last few months had been a rough ride. We kept the chatter going deep into the night until fatigue finally caught up with us, and we crashed.

We rolled into Amsterdam about twelve hours later, and man, we were wiped. Headed straight to the hotel, and lucky for us, the producers only snagged double rooms. Since we had an odd number and sharing a bed with Kirk or Lars wasn't my jam, I lucked out with a double bed all to myself. Honestly, better than I thought it'd be.

When night crept in, the guys and Leanne hit the town for some drinks and city exploring. Pat and I, though, opted for a chill night in, catching a few movies on the TV. Not that I wasn't up for hitting the streets, but all the hours spent on the plane did a number on me, more than I expected. Pat called it a night and went back to her room early, but I left the TV humming in the background, not really paying much attention to what was on.

It was well past midnight when I heard some heavy footsteps echoing down the hallway. My curiosity kicked in as a few deliberate knocks hit my door, and I pondered for a moment, debating whether I should bother answering. But the knocks persisted, and my curiosity won out. With a sigh, I rose from my spot and opened the door. My heart quickened when I found James leaning casually against the door frame.

"Mind if I come in?" he asked, a faint smile playing on his lips, though his voice betrayed a touch of uncertainty. I sighed, feeling warmth spread across my face. Having him so close made my heart flutter in a way I hadn't experienced in a while.

"This isn't your room," I mumbled, stupidly, my ability to think straight suddenly on vacation. He chuckled softly, a quick, dry laugh.

"If you hadn't said anything, I would never have guessed. Can I come in or not?"

I hesitated but eventually stepped aside, letting him in and closing the door. He stretched, shrugged off his jacket, and tossed it on my bed before settling down, kicking off his shoes. I furrowed my brow.

"You should head back to your room. Pat's probably waiting for you."

"She can wait," he said, finishing up with his shoes and pulling out a hair tie from his pocket, using it to secure his hair into a ponytail. Oddly, the sight made him even more attractive. I couldn't help but wonder if the hair tie belonged to Pat, who would often wear her hair tied up, and if he was picking up some habits from his new girlfriend. He stood up, seeming totally oblivious to my thoughts, and casually opened the mini-fridge, grabbing a Coke and popping it open. Then, he lifted his serious blue eyes to me. "I wanted to see you."

"Why?" I questioned, feeling my face warm up and my heart race, a million butterflies in my stomach going wild at his words. He sighed, a faint bitter smile playing on his lips.

"I missed you," he said, his voice low. "Last time we met, everything went south. I thought you hated me. Yet, when I saw you today, Nore..."

"James, please stop," I murmured, my voice trembling. He furrowed his brow, looking away, seeming hurt by my words, and I felt my heart squeeze uncomfortably in my chest. "You shouldn't be saying that."

"Oh, really?" He stood up, placing the can he was holding on the table before coming closer. I took a step back, feeling my face burn as I caught the storm brewing in his blue eyes. "And why’s that?"

"You have a girlfriend, don’t you?" I questioned, my voice holding accusation and hurt. "You brought your fucking girlfriend, so maybe you should just head back to her..."

"You make it sound so simple," he growled, taking another step closer, prompting me to lift my head to meet his gaze.

"And isn’t it?" I shot back, my tone bitter. "How aren't you ashamed of this?"

"Ashamed of what? Of bringing the girl I started dating to try forgetting about you?" he scoffed, clearly pissed now. "Tell me, Nore, what was I supposed to do? Just watch you reject me, again, and again, and again, and then act like you loved me just to mess with my head?"

"This isn’t fair to her!" I blurted out, all worked up, my voice getting louder. "This isn’t fair to me!"

"And what about me? Is it fair what you're pulling on me?"

"I don't get why you thought bringing her along was a genius move..."

"It didn't have to be genius. When you bailed on LA, I called you for days. You were the one who wanted nothing to do with me."

"You're such a jerk!" I spat out, my irritation cranking my voice up more than would be okay for past midnight, but honestly, I'd stopped caring about that ages ago.

James growled, getting suddenly closer, gripping my waist with one hand and pulling me against his body, forcing me to look deep into his eyes as he pressed his forehead against mine, his breathing erratic. His other hand cupped my cheek, his thumb tracing my lower lip. All the anger I had seemed to spill over at that moment; I wanted to punch him, to kick him out, to yell I never wanted to see him again, but I couldn't. Not when his lips were inches away from mine, his blue eyes locking onto mine with a fiery passion that made my whole body warm and vibrate inside.

"You fucking love me," he murmured, a smug smile slowly creeping across his lips. "Things would be so much easier if you just admitted it."

"Shut up, James," I growled, my heart doing a sprint in my chest, blood pulsing with fury in my ears, my hands clutching the front of his shirt and yanking him towards me. I needed him to split; I didn't know how much longer I could trust my anger to hold back the temptation of surrendering to his arms.

"Tell me you don't love me, then," he said, throwing in a sarcastic laugh. "Say you don't love me, and I’ll forget all this and leave you alone. You can't, can you? Because you fucking love me, damn it," His words buzzed with almost unrestrained joy, his grip on my waist tightening enough for me to let out a muffled moan from between my lips. Damn, I wanted him to kiss me. For the first time since all that mess had started, I wanted him to kiss me, to touch me, to make me forget my own name.

"Leave," I shot back, the defiance in my voice wavering as I sensed his body against mine. He let out a low chuckle but stepped back, his eyes ablaze, a smug smile on his face. I rested one of my hands on my chest, feeling my heart thudding against my fingertips, and noticed I was shaking. Gripping the doorknob with my other hand, I turned it but hesitated to open the door. "Just... Go, James. Please," I whispered, the adrenaline of the moment wearing off, and the old pain flooding back to fill my chest as my eyes welled up with tears.

James seemed to catch onto my shift in mood, the triumph in his eyes giving way to pity when he noticed my tears building up. That sparked a rage in my chest; I didn't need his pity. I didn't need anyone's pity.

He made a move to come closer, but I just shook my head, turning away as I opened the door. After he left, I leaned against the closed door, letting myself slide down to sit on the floor, hugging my knees to my chest, feeling more alone, confused, and guilty than ever.

I woke up the next morning, feeling like I hadn't caught a wink of sleep. I groaned my way out of bed, pausing only to wash my face, brush my teeth, and swap outfits before heading down to the hotel's restaurant. There, I spotted Kirk, Lars, Cliff and Leanne already posted up at a table, digging into breakfast. I snagged a plate and plopped down next to Lars.

“After breakfast, we'll pack our bags and grab a shower. We're hitting the road after the show for the next city, so tonight, we’re all gonna be sleeping on the bus,” Cliff was laying out the plan when I rolled in.

“Great. Even crashing on a bus is cozier than sharing a bed with Lars,” Kirk griped, ignoring Lars' offended expression before shooting me a grin. “Hey, Nore, fancy bunking with me next time?”

"As if," I scoffed, and Lars burst into laughter.

"Hey, where's James?" Kirk asked, and I shrugged. Leanne bounced up to snag a hot cup of coffee, and Cliff sparked up a cigarette.

"Bet he's sleeping with Pat. Ever since they got together, she's been glued to him," Lars remarked, not looking too thrilled. Cliff snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Jealous, Lars?" I jokingly tossed the question while slathering butter on a piece of toast. He shot me a look, raising his eyebrows with a smirk.

"Hmm, not me. Can't say the same for you, though, huh?" His ironic smile lingered. I let out a frustrated huff, rolling my eyes, feeling the heat rising in my cheeks. Okay, maybe I walked right into that one.

A few minutes later, James and Pat finally strolled in. James, much like me, seemed to have had a rough night, evident in the dark circles under his tired blue eyes. On the flip side, Pat appeared to be the poster child for joy, easy smiles appearing on her lips as she talked to James, occasionally hugging his arm or intertwining her fingers with his. It was like she exuded confidence, as if she knew this was exactly where she belonged. Kind of got on my nerves, but I wasn't ready to dig into why.

The hustle for the show kicked off right after breakfast. We only had a short break to change and pack before heading back to the hotel lobby. A producer-arranged bus was set to pick us up, transporting everyone to a studio for the guys to rehearse the setlist during the day, and later to the venue for the shows. This leg of the journey got us all pumped. It wasn't just the band's inaugural international gig; we were also looking forward to meeting Venom and, naturally, enjoying some complimentary drinks. I must admit, even I was feeling a twinge of excitement and anxiety about the upcoming events.

I sparked up a cigarette while we hung out in front of the hotel, checking out the guys in action. They were teamed up with a couple of roadies, hauling gear that had been lugged up to the rooms the day before. Leanne strolled over.

"Got a light?" she asked, flashing a grin. I nodded, fished out my lighter, and passed it her way. She sparked up her cigarette, taking a few drags till it glowed. "Can I ask you something, Nore?"

"Sure thing, Lea," I replied, all curious. She shot me a look, her usual relaxed vibe getting a bit serious. Her eyes narrowed, like she was attempting to peek into my brain. "Spill it, what's on your mind?"

"How's it all sitting with you? You know, this whole James situation?" she asked, making me feel like there was a spotlight on me.

"James? What do you mean?" I stammered, feeling the heat hit my face. She let out a soft chuckle at my reaction.

"I'm seriously wondering how she hasn't picked up on it yet." Leanne nodded toward Pat; she was holding James’ hand and talking to Lars, who seemed bored out of his mind, like he'd rather be doing anything else. "The way he looks at you. And the way you look at him."

"What are you getting at?" I whispered, my heart doing a somersault of sorts in my chest.

"You're into him, right? And it's crystal he's into you. Maybe you two should ditch the pride act and just… Allow yourselves to be happy."

"But Pat likes him too," I mumbled, letting a touch of annoyance creep into my voice. And I still don't know if I can allow myself to like anyone again.

"Honestly? I think she's crushing harder on James Hetfield, the Metallica frontman, than our James," she said with a chuckle. "Babe, you and James always clicked so easy. You seriously gonna let that slip away like this?"

I was kind of stumped for a response; right then, the bus rolled up, stealing everyone's focus. Lea crushed her cigarette and shot me a smile, then sauntered over to Cliff, offering a hand with carrying an amp. I took a minute to soak in the sight before joining them, attempting to shove aside the tornado of feelings Leanne's words had kicked up in me.

✧ if you'd like to be tagged on the next parts, let me know and I'll add you to the tag list! ❤ ✧

tag list: @killazilla777 @whatsupvic @70srogah @genswine9

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symphonybracket · 1 year ago

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YouTube links: Tchaikovsky 6, Dvořák 9

Comments:

Dvořák 9

I know it's gonna get nominated a hundred times, but I have listened to it four times in a row in the past week so I gotta mention it. Exquisite bliss from first to last note.

it slays <3

When I heard the first movement for the first time, I was GRINNING LIKE AN IDIOT because of how much I loved it. LIKE THIS IS SO YUMMY (link opens to the timestamp)

it's got everything. the interplay between minor and major. themes from the early movements that come back in the finale. the most iconic english horn solo in all of classical music. dvorak wrote it while traveling across the US and was directly inspired not only by his native czech/bohemian soundscapes but the musical languages he heard from black and native americans. there's a tuba part but it only plays for like five measures. fantastic orchestrations, making full use of all the different colors of the orchestra. the start of the finale sounds kinda like jaws. it is physically impossible for me to feel upset while i'm listening to it it's the first symphony i ever played in orchestra and i'm so normal about it that i want to get that EH solo tattooed on my art and also i wrote a paper about it for a university music history class and i got an A on it so it should definitely win the bracket or i'll cry

Tchaikovsky 6

Everyone bangs on about the 4th movement but it's the 3rd movement that really hits

tchaik 6 is what i would listen to if i had an hour to live

the 5/4 movement of the tchaik lives rent free in my mind and i think about it every day

It’s beyond gorgeous. The melodies soar, the orchestra swells, and you just need to lie down for a while after listening to it. It’s Romanticism at its zenith. You want to weep and sigh, and it’s impossible to listen to it without literally feeling something.

Symphony No. 6, titled “Pathétique”, was Tchaikovsky’s final symphony. It is an intensely emotional piece, and to many scholars demonstrates the emotional turmoil that characterized much of Tchaikovsky’s life. He died about a week after its premiere, a fact which leads many scholars to debate about whether the content of the piece itself reflects the possibility that he may have committed suicide. The title itself is often translated to mean “impassioned suffering”, although this was most likely a later addition by Modest and not actually part of Tchaikovsky’s vision. Given these facts, many scholars interpret this piece to be about death and suffering. However, this piece can also be seen to represent life and all its contrasting moments. This interpretation is more holistic and inclusive of all of the moments captured in this piece, and also serves to break down the common narrative of Tchaikovsky as a tragic figure.

More comments about Tchaikovsky 6 below the cut (length warning):

Scholarship surrounding Tchaikovsky’s music tends to focus heavily on the ways his confliction over his homoerotic desires appears in his writing. However, his personal letters reveal a much more balanced understanding of himself that goes beyond the common narrative. In one letter written to Modest describing a new relationship with another man, he writes: “I awoke today with a feeling of unknown happiness and with a complete absence of that emotional sobriety that used to make me repent in the morning for having gone too far the day before.” Many of the letters he wrote regarding his relationships demonstrate no shame and no anguish beyond what can be expected of a man living in a homophobic society. It is important to take this information into account when listening to a piece such as this one that has been discussed so frequently, and to understand it beyond the turmoil and strife that it is seen to represent. Like many of Tchaikovsky’s works, this symphony displays a range of human emotions. It is not only representative of tragedy and “impassioned suffering”; it is a depiction of what it is like to live. It is also interesting to note that this piece is used as a signifier of queer desire in the novel "Maurice" by E.M. Forster, a novel also notable for its radical portrayal of a queer man who gets a happy ending. Much to think about there.

The first movement begins with a lone bassoon soloist playing a plaintive minor melody, which later comes back in the strings. As the movement progresses, it grows in intensity and texture. More instruments are added, and the music becomes more frantic, building and building towards the dramatic trumpet fanfare. Throughout this piece, Tchaikovsky continues to make significant use of contrasting dynamics and melodies, reflecting the emotions he hopes to convey through the music. Dramatic, tumultuous sections are interspersed with pastoral woodwind melodies, and the angry brass fanfares give way to a quiet ending.

The second movement is reminiscent of a waltz, and uses the strings and woodwinds more than the brass to achieve its floating melodies. The dynamics ebb and flow to build tension, but this movement never reaches the same levels of anguish that the previous movement does. Tchaikovsky makes use of pizzicato in the strings to convey a lighter, more cheerful mood, and features the upper woodwinds prominently. He also repeats themes frequently, giving the audience something familiar to listen out for as the movement progresses.

The third movement begins with frantic energy in the strings and woodwinds. As more instruments join the rush of music, the underlying eight note accompaniment does not let up, continuing the vivacious beginning through the whole movement. Instruments pass the melodies between each other and engage in conversations across the orchestra. Like the first movement, the brass play a prominent role in creating dramatic climaxes in the music, as well as supporting the march-like conclusion. Conductor Myung-Whun Chung describes the deceptively dramatic ending as, “one of the greatest, most thrilling, but most empty of victories in musical history,” observing that this movement has the energetic finality of a final movement. The reversal of having the true finale be a slower movement represents a shift away from the “Beethovian model of light over darkness” common in most other symphonies of this time period.

As mentioned before, ending on a movement with a slow tempo was a significant shift away from the standard of the time. This innovation inspired many other future composers to use the same technique, most notably Mahler in his Ninth Symphony. The quiet beginning builds up towards a chaotic rush of fast runs throughout the orchestra, only to stop abruptly and continue in halting, cautious bursts of melody. The movement continues with this cycle of rushing up to a climax and backing away as the movement progresses. Tchaikovsky highlights the horns in this movement, giving them both angry, blaring notes which cut through the string melodies and the flowing, lyrical lines that are passed throughout the orchestra. As the piece ends, the instruments fall away until all that is left are steady repeated notes in the basses, bringing this lament of a movement to an understated close.

#tchaikovsky #Dvořák #the final battle....#round 6 #Spotify

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lefaystrent · 5 months ago

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Me, Myself, and These Guys Who Kinda Look Like Me Ch.2

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: Thomas/The Sides

Summary: It starts with dreams. Then Thomas starts seeing the dream people in the waking world.

Thomas doesn't know how to bring it up to anybody or if he even should at this point.

AKA, Thomas has to acknowledge the six colorful characters in the room, much to their long-awaited delight.

AO3 Link: click here

Chapter 1

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Over the rhythm of water beating down his head, Thomas cannot hear anything past it.

On his list of top ten favorite showers, it's pretty on up there in terms of refreshing. He washes his body carefully, using the shower wall to maintain balance. His legs wobble, and he regrets not having the foresight to bring a chair in here with him, but he perseveres. He doesn't have the energy truthfully to go through his full hair routine. The thought of the grime caking his scalp is enough incentive to at least use shampoo. He wants to feel like a normal human being again.

Normal human beings don't meet the people of their dreams. Literal dreams, not figurative. Normal people don't wake up to a bedroom full of strangers. Normal people freak out at the thought of strangers having power over them while sick.

But normal people would think this is a prank, or that these guys crawled in through his window, or broke into his house some other way. And to what end? To…take care of him while he laid there ill?

Thomas doesn't consider for a second that these men broke into his home. It just...isn't the conclusion his mind believes. These are dream people made real, and even they seem surprised by it all.

They kept asking if he could see them. They knew his name.

They took care of him.

Vague and fever-sick as the memory is, Thomas remembers hands tucking him into bed.

He shudders in the shower and holds his face in his hands. He doesn't have an advice book on this particular scenario. Because his life just wasn't complicated enough.

He feels like crying again, but he's spent. He lets the water rinse out the shampoo from his hair as he rests his weight against the wall. He shoves down the little helpless feeling in the back of his brain, shoves it down in a cellar and chains the doors up tight.

He's got to go back out there. He can't panic now. He's got to-

Why does he need to do anything?

He groans quietly and remains in the shower longer than he needs.

At length, he starts feeling too cold and sensitive to continue. He shuts off the valve. In the water's absence, his skin feels tingly and raw.

He wonders if his fever is starting to seep back in.

Thomas dries himself off in no rush. He takes his time and ignores the voices that reverberate through the door. Once or twice, they get loud, but they are quickly shushed.

A part of him wants to put his ear to the door and try to glean new information. There's so many questions, and the curiosity is definitely there, just...muted.

Maybe he's the chosen one and this is the beginning of his epic fantasy adventure.

He actually snorts at that. It's a self-deprecating noise, if nothing else. He dresses and brushes his teeth. He thinks about flossing or gurgling mouth wash, and then he doesn't. The towel is left half-hazard on the bathroom counter, clothes on the floor. There's no use brushing his hair or worrying about his appearance. He's clean at least. He holds onto that.

He's done enough and too much. He really needs to sit down soon.

Thomas leaves the bathroom and barely remembers to turn off the light. He walks into his bedroom.

You know that feeling you get when you know without a doubt that people have been talking about you? Because when you walk into the room, all conversation cuts off? Thomas never thought he would experience that so effectively.

"I can still see you by the way," Thomas comments, because he has to say something and they're all looking to him as if he has the answers.

Some of them glance at each other. Prince bounds forward, arms wide and smile wider.

"This is a momentous occasion!" he declares. His voice is…royal, for lack of a better term. It's confidant and almost sing-songy. "Sure you nearly died, but more importantly! You can finally meet your guardian angels in the flesh, Thomas! I always knew this day would come."

"You didn't know shit," Green Guy comments, and yes he is picking his nose.

"I knew in my heart of hearts!" Prince denies. He grabs Thomas's hand and holds it to his chest. Thomas can feel the silk of the red sash against his knuckles and the starched uniform underneath. It's a beautiful costume, something similar to many that Thomas has seen in past theater productions. It's something Thomas himself would wear.

Roman's grip is strong and he's gazing at Thomas in a way that makes nervous butterflies flutter in his stomach. When was the last time someone held his hand? "No matter the test of time, tried and true, we've come to you. You! You, dear light of our lives! Oh, this is so exciting! From this day forth, we shall-"

"Roman, knock it off," Virgil hisses. He's looking frantically between the two of them, and Thomas gets the distinct impression that he's waiting for some reaction from Thomas. "Don't scare him."

"How on earth would I scare him? I'm his guardian angel!"

Blue Tie clears his throat and adjusts his glasses. "I have said it before and I will inevitably be forced to say it again: we are not angels of any sort." His words are crisp, complexion flawless, and nose sharp. He is handsome in a clean-cut effortless way that is admittedly a little jealousy inducing, and also reminds him of...someone he can't place. Regardless, Thomas has never looked that put together in his life. "There is no evidence to support the theory or any theory of what we are."

"Aren't we though?" Cardigan says hesitantly. He crawls to the edge of the bed and seeks Thomas's attention. He's...holding Benjamin, Thomas's stuffed bear. That shouldn't be so precious. It should be bizarre. This whole thing is bizarre. "I know this must seem like a lot to drop on you, kiddo, but we're only here to help."

Virgil groans, "He doesn't know that. For all he thinks, we broke into his house to kill him."

"Thank God we treated his fever before we murdered him," Bowler Hat sasses. "Also Roman, there's this thing called personal space. Thomas would probably like his."

"I-" Roman, the prince, starts but cuts himself off. He looks wide-eyed at Thomas, and Thomas doesn't know exactly what he sees, what he's searching for. Can he see how Thomas's brain is disconnected from his feet? Whatever Roman gleans, he painstakingly releases Thomas's hand and takes a step back. He grasps at his own hands behind his back. "Right, apologies, Thomas. I may have gotten carried away. Just a tad."

"Are you gonna puke?" Green Guy asks suddenly. He's stopped picking his nose at least.

"I don't think so," Thomas answers and somehow believes it. Mostly. His brows wrinkle together. "Can we… can I sit down?"

There's a flurry of movement, Cardigan trying to make room on the bed. Virgil elbows past Blue Tie. Roman's touching him again already, a light grasp at his arm to make sure he doesn't fall over presumably. Thomas shakes his head, reeling.

"Um, not here," he says. It's way too cramped. Too intimidating with them all looming so close. Plus, he's spent far too long confined to his bed already. He wants to be able to breathe.

"How about we all reconvene in the living room, hm?" Bowler Hat suggests in a placating way that makes Thomas think that he's used to having more of the brain cells between the group. He's making like he's looking boredly out the window, but there's curtains in the way. The half of his face that Thomas can see is also, well, handsome.

Wow Thomas, the dream guys are dreamy, who woulda thunk.

Bowler Hat continues with a purse of his lips and narrowed eye, "I'm sure we could scrounge up some food while we're at it."

"You are right, it has been awhile since you've eaten anything, Thomas," Blue Tie says, perking up with this new objective. He waves towards the door. "You must have questions, and those can be answered in time to the best of our abilities, but you have not fully recovered and must not push yourself too hard. We will try not to cause you any more undue stress. Would that be alright?"

Thomas doesn't answer at first. He takes in how they're all looking at him, and Roman has snatched his hand away again as if scalded. Or maybe just scolded. He manages to look contrite to the effect of a puppy who was told not to play with a ball but really wanted to play with the ball. Underneath it all, Thomas feels everyone's anxiety. Well, maybe not Bowler Hat. He looks cool and confident. And Green Guy looks like he's just along for the ride.

"Okay, cool," Thomas yields and leaves first. He hears them all shuffling down the stairs behind him. He wonders if he should worry about turning his back on them. More so than be concerned that any of them would pull a weapon on him, he's afraid that they'll disappear.

If they vanished now, he'd never get any answers. He'd have to resign himself to believing he'd gone off the deep end.

Thomas sits on the far end of his couch. It's a large piece of furniture shaped in an L and takes up most of the living room's space. It's not as comfy as it used to be, but it's more than functional. He tucks his legs underneath himself and hunkers down by the wall where the window is. It's tactical, placing himself with his back to the corner so that he can see what everyone else is up to.

They filter down the stairs. For a moment, Thomas is reminded of that first dream. He wonders if they ever stood in those spots when he couldn't see them before, if they'll stand there now. But Blue Tie sits beside him on the couch. Not very close by. There's a respectable distance between them. Thomas gets the feeling that he sat there first to prevent any of the others from encroaching on his boundaries.

Roman huffs and elegantly collapses down on the floor in front of Thomas. He props an elbow on the coffee table's glass top.

Cardigan stands in front of the TV wringing his hands. "Thomas, do you think you could eat? We can make you something, anything you want. If you feel comfortable with that?"

It's surreal, to see this person acting so concerned on his behalf. The attention is more than a little heavy.

He nods sluggishly. "Sure."

"What should-" Cardigan begins, but Bowler Ha breezes by.

"Don't worry, I'll find him something suitable. Virgil, I could use a sous-chef."

Virgil had just been about to sit on the other end of the couch and now falters. He watches Bowler Hat confusedly, and that's all the chance Green Guy needs before he's bouncing over the couch arm and landing face first on the cushions. Virgil edges away from the group to follow Bowler Hat into the kitchen. Thomas knows that they are certainly whispering to each other in there about something. Him. The something is him.

Should he tell them where his food stuff is? Or do they just, know? How long have they been around? For Thomas, it's been weeks, months at this point perhaps. But for them, how long have they been there?

Have they always been there?

Oh gosh, shouldn't he be the one offering them food or refreshments? He's the host. Unwilling or not, his parents raised him with southern hospitality. He blurts out as much, but Blue Tie holds up a hand.

"That will not be necessary. We do not need to eat. Besides, you are the priority."

"But if we could, I'd have some tempura," Green Guy says.

"Oddly tame choice," Roman muses, to which Green Guys shrugs.

"I'm a simple guy with simple needs. You chuckle-fucks are the ones always overcomplicating things."

"At any rate, to begin, introductions are in order." Blue Tie gestures towards himself. "My name is Logan. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Thomas. And this is-"

"I'm Patton!" Cardigan cheers, unable to hold himself back. "Which is what Logan was already saying. Whoops, sorry Logan."

Logan sighs, "It is alright, if to be expected."

"My name's Patton," Patton says again, then smiles large and proud with dimples. "But my kids call me Dad!"

"You have no children to speak of."

"Don't talk down about yourself, young man."

"Young man, there's no need to feel down~" Roman sings to himself.

"And that's Roman," Logan treads onwards.

Hands slap onto the coffee table. "Excuse you! I was about to introduce myself! I can introduce myself, thank you very much!"

"If you weren't so busy with musical interludes, maybe you would have done so first."

And they bicker and almost forget Thomas is there. He watches dumbly. There's a lot of personality between them all, and he gets the feeling that this is a common thing between them. He hopes its a common thing in that way that people aren't genuinely angry at each other and bicker more for the fun of it. Thomas has never really handled people being angry around him. He is a soft bean at heart who runs away from conflict.

Thomas lets it roll over him more than processes. He looks to Green Guy who lays there with his head propped, elbow bent. He's watching Thomas right back unblinking, so Thomas waves.

Green Guy surges up. He thrusts his arms in the air. "And I'm your worst nightmare!"

Roman leans towards Thomas in a conspiratorial whisper. "He's what you get if you say Beetlejuice three times. But like an off-brand Beetlejuice. Michael Keaton's understudy, if you will."

"Or you can call me by my name. Remus." And Green Guy flutters his eye lashes towards Thomas. "No seriously, call my name, right now. I need validation that my brain hasn't been deep fried. Like tempura."

Mind-boggled, Thomas repeats, "Remus?"

There's a moment of serious contemplation from Remus. His lips twitch and wiggle his mustache a bit. Then he relents in a nasally tone, "Ehhh, could have said my name a little sexier, but we'll work on it."

Patton tries to grin, cringes more-so. "Sorry. Remus is very…spirited."

"Digging six-feet deeper with the Beetlejuice reference, I like it Patton," Roman crows.

"Please try not to derail the conversation further, we've important matters to discuss," Logan says.

And it is important. It's sobering, and the others sit up a little bit. Not Remus though. He lounges back now with his arms crossed behind his head. He looks content to watch the proceedings. Past him, further in the kitchen, Thomas can see the other two managing over the bar. Virgil has pulled a bowl away from Bowler Hat's hands and places it firmly on the counter. Whatever he's whispering fervently at Bowler Hat, the body language seems aggressive.

Thomas shuts his eyes tightly for a minute. Is this all really happening? Is he sitting here on his couch with these people in his house?

"Thomas?"

He could open his eyes, but chooses not to. He rests his cheek on his hand and leans into the arm of the couch. "I'm really stupid right now. Please just tell me who you guys are."

"We just went over our names. I am Logan, as I said."

"Not literally, Nerdy Wolverine. He means like- well, Thomas what do you mean like?"

"Like what we represent?" Patton asks.

"Yeah, that one." Thomas points his finger in Patton's general direction. "Like are you guys part of a dream sorority or secret government agency sent here to spy on me?"

"That would be cool, but if we were spies, we're not very good ones. Most of us don't even wear hats."

Because hats were necessary for official spy business.

"No, we are not spies," Logan says. Thomas opens his eyes to look at him. He's evaluating. And somewhat... apologetic? "However, I can see how you can draw such a conclusion, outlandish though it is. This must feel like an extreme invasion of your privacy. That is not our intention, simply a side effect of our existence."

"So what are you?" Thomas asks. He feels like he's hanging on a precipice that he can't come back from.

Diving off the deep end indeed.

Logan takes a steadying breath. Thomas questions if he really needs to breathe, if any of them do. "I cannot tell you definitively. What I can tell you are the facts thus far. A number of years ago, we all appeared individually. Coming into awareness was difficult, and our memories are inadequate of the beginning. The first sign of clarity was you Thomas. Then we became aware of ourselves, and then each other."

"It was pretty confusing," Patton says with a little smile. "At first, it was like we couldn't even talk, just watch and listen."

That wasn't creepy at all. If Thomas tells himself that enough, he will believe it.

"How long?" He asks. "How long have you guys been there?"

"College?" Roman questions, glancing around to the others. Some shrug. "Some of us remember those bits, but others don't so much, so about there."

"Eventually we managed to get a handle on our situation, as they say." Logan elaborates. "There were initial theories that we had lived previous lives and had died, that our souls were bound to you. And while some supernatural myths concur, and our incorporeal state of being lends credence to this idea, none of us have memories of a past life or knowledge of our supposed deaths."

"But I can visualize how I died, so it's kinda the same thing."

Logan shows an impressive amount of restraint and ignores Remus. "Furthermore, all of us have the connection with you to consider. We were not members of your family or friends or anyone you knew in life. Why would we be attached to you in death? There is simply not enough evidence to support this theory. And no, Roman, this doesn't mean we're guardian angels either."

"I didn't say it," Roman mutters. "But you still can't disprove it either."

"Just, back up a second," Thomas says. "If you guys have been here for years, then why now?"

"I don't follow," Logan says, head tilted.

"He means why can he see us now," Patton supplies helpfully.

"Ah, yes, I see now. Tell me Thomas, you mentioned seeing us before in your dreams? How long have you been dreaming of us?"

Thomas bites at his lip. "About... a couple months? I think? It's been awhile. I just thought they were really lucid dreams but then..."

"Then?"

"Yes Thomas, don't leave us in suspense!"

He started seeing them outside the dreams. And it's something he fought so hard to rationalize and bury away. Something that he told himself that he couldn't tell anyone about without being called crazy.

It startles him, how relieved he is to finally say it out loud, even to the dream people themselves. They listen, and they hang onto his words. Remus too looks like he's zeroed in. Virgil and Bowler Hat (he'll learn his name eventually) are still taking too long in the kitchen. Are they listening as well?

Thomas let's it all out in a rush. He feels validated when Remus says, "Yeah, I was in your closet the other day."

"Can you be any less creepy?" Roman demands.

"Creepy is subjective. It's someone's kink somewhere."

"To think, we were starting to break through," Patton sniffles. There are tears in his eyes. If Ghost-Angel-Dream people don't eat or drink anything, how can they cry? "Or maybe that was all you, bud! Maybe you managed it all on your own! I'm so proud of you!"

"But what does it mean?" Thomas asks. He's trying to connect with Patton, to feel like the accomplishment is earned. But he doesn't know why any of this matters. "Why are you guys here? Why me?"

Patton fiddles with his fingers. He rocks back on his feet. "Well, we don't have all the answers, kiddo. I'm sorry, I know it's not what you wanted to hear. We're still figuring this out ourselves. We never thought that you'd... but that doesn't matter. What matters is you."

"Me?"

"Yeah you, buckaroo. You matter a whole lot to us."

And Thomas loses all drive. He sinks into the couch cushions. He feels cold. His arms hug around himself to little effect. He's exposed in his own home with nowhere to hide.

He's shutting down, feels the energy dying with his curiosity.

Roman goes to speak but Thomas holds up his hand much like Logan did with him earlier.

"Maybe– maybe later," he says numbly. "This is a lot."

Worry hangs over them. Thomas should feel guilty for making them worry. What did he do to deserve their worry?

These people were bound to him, trapped. They never had a choice.

Why would they be so kind?

In the midst of his pity party, Patton catches on to his state. He fetches a blanket and drapes it over him, slowly so not to startle him. Virgil reemerges from the kitchen, bowl in hand. He's noticeably alone.

"Hope you like oatmeal," he mumbles. He shuffles forward, face lowered so not to meet Thomas's gaze, and he carefully sits the steaming bowl on the coffee table next to a glass of orange juice.

"I have oatmeal?"

"Don't worry, I checked the expedition date."

It's awkward, five men sitting and standing around waiting for you to eat in front of them.

Roman's eyes squint at Virgil. "Where's the bananaconda?"

Virgil shoves his hands in his hoodie pocket and shrugs. "Stepped out."

Nothing more is said about this. They all accept that Bowler Hat isn't there, though Virgil's mood is tense. He stands there hunched, head ducked away and bangs falling over his eyes. His pose practically screams, "Don't look at me".

Thomas doesn't ask what 'stepped out' entails or about the weird nickname. He starts sluggishly on his oatmeal. Peaches and cream.

The TV flickers on. Everyone glances over to Patton holding the remote. He smiles to cover up a wince.

"Thought we could watch some 'toons. Plus, it's just so nice that we can do this now."

They hold their collective breaths, but when Thomas says nothing to object, everyone goes along with it. There's an unsaid agreement to give Thomas some space, so they don't pester him with more questions or details. They turn their attention to the screen. It's not cartoons at all. It's 'The Office' bloopers reel.

Virgil switches off the main light. Then he shoves Remus's legs around until he fits. Patton squeezes in between Logan and Remus.

On the floor, Roman has turned around to face the TV. He can't help to inch backwards, bit by bit, until he's resting with his back against the couch. His shoulder blade presses against Thomas's knee. Thomas is highly aware of the little peeks he keeps stealing over his shoulder. They're all doing it though.

Thomas stomachs half of the oatmeal and a bit of juice. When Thomas has been staring for far too long at the bowl's contents rather than eating it, Logan takes the bowl gently from him and sits it on the table.

He's seen these bloopers a thousand times. He curls deeper in the throw blanket, pulls the warmth up to his chin, and closes his eyes.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #logan #logan sanders #patton #patton sanders #virgil #virgil sanders #janus #janus sanders #remus #remus sanders #roman #roman sanders #writing #fanfiction #me myself and these guys who kinda look like me #trying desperately to dust off the ole writing chops #i hope you guys like it

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chatterkat · 1 year ago

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Okay saw the posts about Oscar’s fairy tale inspiration being The Little Prince and I not being familiar with that fairy tail read the Wikipedia plot. It honestly seems like an interesting story. I can see how it inspired his character, questioning the logic of the adults in their world.

I get why people are excited about it shipwise, but it also seems to end potentially badly for the prince. He lets a snake bite him so he could be with his rose. Like people joke about the Oscar protection squad already, but what if he actually did die? Would be a huge bummer after his life got stolen by Oz. That doesn’t feel like they would do that that, but look what they did with Penny. Brought her back and killed her again. The wiki says “He then met a yellow snake that claimed to have the power to return him to his home, if he ever wished to return.” The yellow snake reminds me of the God of Light’s gold dragon form. Perhaps it’s instead going to be that the God of Light returns Oscar, because he frees him from the curse of Ozma, and that is what allows him to go home?

Speaking of home, if another of Ruby’s allusions is of the ruby slippers in the Wizard of Oz, there is yet another link to Ruby Rose and Oscar going “home” as the slippers are what give Dorothy the power to go home. I always felt Oscar also had allusions to Dorothy so it might be a secondary one for him. Ruby may give Oscar the power to go home by telling off the gods when they inevitably get summoned. As well as being a reason he wants to go back.

Anyway from the summary it kinda almost seems somewhat reversed the relationship the prince has with the rose. The prince nourishes it, but seems more like it was Ruby who did that in the show. Her showing him the ropes, watching his back in battle. At least for the most part so far. I know he sometimes helped her too in smaller ways. Like when they had that heart to heart about being afraid. Things might be different after the time skip. Also the rose was vain, but maybe it’s more like a hubris thing? Oscar does question Ruby’s choice after all with Ironwood. Ruby ended up repeating the mistakes of Oz. Obviously the story won’t always be 1-1.

Anyway as for time skip, this line like made me think a little. “The prince laments that he did not understand how to love his rose while he was with her”. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? So wonder if he will act differently towards her when we see them again. I still wonder if they really will go for it storywise, but it feels like it makes narrative/character sense.

#rwby #oscar pine #Ruby rose #rwby meta #rosegarden #rwby rosegarden

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omeletcat · 10 months ago

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ALRIGHT so i have a little problem with the worldbuilding/writing rn. I call this problem the magic cycle, based on a carbon cycle, A carbon cycle is a cycle of carbon (yes i know crazy) where you breathe out carbon, plants then make oxygen out of it and then a bunch of shit happens, but basically its a cycle, it keeps pretty much the same amount over time i realized that the magic in my game worked pretty similarly, every person has a soul thats made out of magic energy, magic attracts magic, so it becomes blobs of energy and some places have an absence of energy called a neutral zone, the earth is mostly made out of these neutral zones with exceptions called Nexus (a nexus is a connection linking 2 things together, and the nexuses are places with a lot of magic energy creating slight breaches between the spirit world and he human world. some witches (a small society of people who know about the spirit world and can use magic, wait lemmie tell a bit about them lol, a witch can also use magic, anyone with enough magic in their soul can use it, however it pushes magic out, and since there isn't a lot of random magic energy floating around to absorb it can kill you when you use to much and you're soul dies not even going to the afterlife but just stops existing and you're body becomes a husk, a living organism without a soul a monster without humanity of life in it, thats why witches either use crystals and gems (which have magic energy inside them more then most things) or living things like plans and stuff put into potions to reabsorb the needed energy to survive) when a person dies their soul rises up and gets absorbed into the afterlife, a giant black realm of something that i will not disclose as i feel like explaining everything would ruin the magic behind it. (i do have some idea's for it tho) if a soul is strong enough and can't leave the human world behind they become a ghost, a soul without a body that can mutate as it absorbs magic from other sources slowly losing themselves. BUT this brings up some very complicated questions:

FIRST OFF what happens when a spirit dies? a spirit also has a soul, but that brings up the magic cycle problem, a spirit(or a human) pushes out energy from their soul to use magic, and then absorb the magic from the area, when they are born their parents give a part of their soul that then slowly absorbs magic over time before it is a full soul and can be born, BUT when it dies should it go to the afterlife?? that would break the cycle and mean that magic energy is slowly depleting. The same counts for the human world (which has way less magic then the spirit world) if i make it that when a spirit dies their soul gets pulled apart and absorbed by te realm so the cycle stays intact.. that pretty much. means they don't get to go to the afterlife? and i that afterlife is smth like another plane of existence, that would suck sooo badly. i'm pretty much saying that they can't go to heaven (if that was what the afterlife is.) i could say that the afterlife returns the energy from the souls down to earth and the spirit world, but would that mean the souls die in the afterlife??? , i cant erase the afterlife caus thats. how you get to the spirit world if you weren't born there, when a person is in state between life and death (physical or mental) their soul gets stuck between rising to the afterlife and staying in the human world, so it gets shot down to the spirit world and the body kinda pulls towards it and they match and then end up in the spirit world. ALSO that would mean that if a person uses magic and dies before they can absorb some more, the magic in the spirit world is slowly growing!! that would also be fucked!!! how should i fix this??? either A i make it so that the afterlife returns the magic to their respective plane of existence, meaning that smth weird happens there and i would kinda tell the player wtf happens when you die which is something i don't want or B i don't explain it, ignore it and act like it never happened. what do y'all think??? like actually, tell me what you think i need a second opinion caus i'm tweaking rn.

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babacontainsmultitudes · 2 years ago

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In Defense of the Other Teens

Hello besties :)

SO how about that last episode huh? I've certainly seen a lot of interesting takes and cool art and all that come from it!

And I'm... Here to offer my two cents.

Alright y'all, a few things before we actually get into the meat of it. First, this is a long post. Like, even by my standards this post is pretty fucking long. I hope that I'll be able to keep you entertained throughout at the very least, but maybe grab a cup of tea or coffee or the like before venturing under the cut.

Second, my stance on things will become pretty clear I think fairly early on, if you haven't already put two and two together from the title of this post. That said, there are some fairy bold claims I'm gonna make here, and the fact of the matter is some of them may very well be disproven as soon as today's Teen Talk drops. But I wanted to get this out beforehand, partially as a show of faith in a certain someone, and partially cause honestly I think it's good to practice giving oneself room to be wrong about things. That said, there are still many other points that I think remain important regardless of what we find out next episode (or in teen talk), and I hope you'll find those interesting as well.

Next, honestly, the first few chunks of this little essay really start out as more of a rant/vent than a tight analysis, and I kinda start things in a weird spot if I'm being frank with you, so maybe just try to bear with me for the first few parts, ok? They're still important for the bigger picture I'm trying to paint.

Finally, if I come off as a little extra salty and sassy in this one, I am, but I *promise* it's all in good fun. :)

Alright, so let me tell you my thoughts about Lincoln.

You know what I think? What I honestly, genuinely think? Linc is the most selfless of the teens by a long shot. Like, there's literally no competition. Enough "all he wants to do is help other people and all they ever do is betray him" with respect to Mr. TalkedGrantIntoAPanicAttackThenLeft and more appreciation and recognition for Lincoln Li SayHiToYourDadForMe Wilson, I'm begging you. I could sit here and start listing examples of Linc's selflessness to you for a good long while, but really no set of examples could better illustrate what differentiates Linc from the rest of the teens than this exchange:

Scary: "Chosen one…""

Jodie: "Bat’tholemew, we don't use those words."

Scary: "Somebody they wouldn't expect."

Taylor: "It's me. It's got to be someone that they don't expect."

Scary: "Yeah."

Taylor: "Yeah."

Scary: "It's got to be somebody who's really earned—"

Taylor: "Somebody who’s really earned—"

Scary: "—the respect."

Taylor: "—the right to... And all the knowledge of all the animes together…"

Scary: "Somebody with more knowledge than anybody else."

Taylor: "Someone with— who knows what to do. S… "

Scary: "Somebody who knows what to do to step up."

Taylor: "Somebody who can step up and be the chosen one."

Scary: "And be the chosen one."

Link: "Hey…"

Normal: "Guys, I think… I might be the chosen one…"

Yes, funnily enough, it's Linc's absence here that says a lot about him rather than his presence.

What's more, I frankly just don't think it's fair that Linc can do *so much* for the people around him but the *one time* he decides to do something that (seemingly) goes against Normal's plan, it's depicted as some ultimate act of betrayal or Linc "giving up". I feel like we significantly understate how much the other teens *have* done for the sake of Normal's plan (seriously, are we actually gonna ignore Linc stabbing his leg on a candy cane- TWICE??), and how much they've lost in doing so. If every time they fuck something up undoes everything they've sacrificed or done right, well, that's quite the negativity bias!

So why don't we talk about Linc's decision, actually. Did we just witness Lincoln finally snap? Has he given up on Normal's plan to help the doodler? Has he given up on using empathy? Did Lincoln Li Wilson choose the easy option? I would say no! No to all of those! And I think especially upon a relisten of the final moments in the last episode, Linc's train of thought when he breaks the pic is actually quite clear. And yes, this is about Linc showing empathy towards Scary, but I want to talk about the actual implications of that a bit further as well. Let's start by looking at the final bits of dialogue leading up to the breaking of anchor:

Linc: "Scary, what are you even doing?"

Scary: "You gotta destroy it"

Linc: "We can't- you just heard the Doodler's gonna make the world worse it's gonna kill we just gotta find something, why do you have to destroy it-"

Scary: "You don't know that!"

Linc: "I mean you don't know it's not that way we can find another way to destroy it"

Scary: "No, Willy said that it's easier to control if we destroy the anchors"

[ANTHONY EXPLAINS THE SPECIFICS OF WHAT WILLY WOULD HAVE TOLD SCARY]

Linc: "Well we're not gonna do it that way okay, come on like, the easy way is-"

Scary: "Who died and made you the leader?"

Linc: "The easy way is usually the bad way right? Sometimes the better thing is harder."

Scary: "This is easier what you're just gonna tell the pic 'Oh I love you I'm so nice to you' and it's just gonna give you all its secrets that's not how life works."

[LINK TRIES SAYING I LOVE YOU TO THE PIC AND NORM EXPLAINS THAT HE ALREADY TRIED THAT]

Linc: "Okay well like you're right it's gonna be hard but- I know it's not a person but I don't want more people to die we've already killed enough people like can you just do one thing with us and just try to find a way to make this-"

Scary: "The Doodler is gonna kill more people you're not seeing the bigger picture!"

Normal: "What no, Linc don't listen to her!"

Scary: "Listen to me!"

[AND THEN LINC SNAPS THE PIC]

Okay there's... A lot to unpack here. I'll start by pointing out what I think are a few key things to take note of:

- Linc is seemingly adamant on choosing the empathetic route and not letting any more people get hurt

- Linc affirms that sometimes the harder route is the better one

- Scary rejects the notion that simply saying "I love you" or otherwise being kind in words could actually do anything

- Norm says "don't listen to her"

- Linc's decision to break the pic only occurs after Scary says what she does (above point), seemingly in conflict with what he himself said only moments prior about not taking the violent route.

What I think needs to be understood about Linc is that, more than anyone in the group, Linc's decisions are calculated. Yes they often catch us off guard (seriously the amount of times Linc has done something that's made me actually gasp in shock is a bit crazy), but once the dust has settled, his decisions are always clearly consistent with who Linc is as a person and his philosophy, and accordingly, never come from a place of selfishness. The humor of it aside, when Linc says that he never misses any shot that he takes (:( Can't find the exact quote), he is entirely correct (and admittedly while I probably should gather various examples to show you what I mean, Linc swapping places with himself and Nicky really is the most perfect demonstration I could possibly ask for, as it showcases both Linc's aforementioned selflessness and how Linc's seemingly shocking decisions are never actually accidents or executed with uncertainty on his end). Try to keep these above points in mind as we move forward.

Next, let's consider the pros and cons for Linc of breaking or not breaking the pic, as seen from Linc's perspective. I suppose the general impression I've gotten thus far is that many people seem to be interpreting Linc breaking the pic as a likely (or sure) sign that he has "given up" on Normal's plan, and given in to choosing the "easier" route. This, I perhaps a bit boldly argue, raises a number of questions and ultimately implodes in on itself as an interpretation after even a brief consideration of them. At the most basic, and perhaps least interesting level, it's not like it would be that hard to search a little bit for some demonstration of love (especially with a certain pair of will-they-won't-they partners not too far away... Though I feel like the pic also could have been interesting as applied to some of the other characters around right now? Anyways...) You could say then, that maybe Linc simply doesn't care about using empathy, and has ultimately lost confidence in Norm's plan by this point, so he takes the path of absolute least resistance cause, well, whatever. But wait, didn't Linc *just* say that they weren't going to do things that way, and that he doesn't want more people to be killed? (You might say then that he thinks Scary has a point on "not seeing the bigger picture" and believes that choosing violence here will result in less deaths, but frankly I just don't think there's anything promising or compelling enough about Scary's argument here for Linc to have any real reason to believe it, all the more so given Willy’s involvement). Are we to think, then, that Linc changes his mind purely on a whim, and a whim influenced by Scary of all people no less? Frankly, I see this as a severe underestimation of Linc's strength of character, and this is where we really do need to consider the degree of calculation and confidence that goes into Linc's decision making and risk taking. What I'm saying is, Linc simply doesn't fall victim to selfish impulses that way (and within the group this is a quality unique to him!). Moreover, even if Linc might have his doubts in Norm and his plan, he still has significantly more reason to go with that than to listen to Scary. Seriously, Linc has every reason to not listen to Scary here. When it comes to what Linc cares about the most, Scary has without a doubt harmed Linc more than the Doodler ever could (The significance of Tony Pepperoni being stabbed in Linc's home in front of his dad c a n n o t be forgotten or understated!!!). Even if Linc didn't care at all about showing empathy to the Doodler, if he were acting purely out of selfishness he would still have more reason to do so if only because it means not giving the satisfaction to or otherwise helping Scary (and Willy).

But Scary is confused, and Scary is lonely, and from her perspective she probably does feel betrayed. We (and Linc) are given some important information regarding Scary in this episode. Firstly, we get a glimpse into how Willy has twisted things and convinced her that violence is the better option (not because it's easier per se, but because more people will apparently be saved in the long run). Second, Linc finally understands what Scary needs... Or at least what she doesn't need. Specifically, he understands that simply saying "I love you" isn't enough. He understands that Scary will never believe it no matter how many times it is said, and that to really prove to Scary that she is loved and get through to her, he needs to show her, has to prove to her that, despite everything, he is still on her side.

Linc, I dare argue more than any of the teens, has so much reason to leave Scary behind. But he understands her now, and, against Normal's wishes, listens to her. In a weird way (if I'm not dead wrong about this whole empathy thing), this kind of is Linc's "throne of the doodler" equivalent. It would be so easy to not break the pic, to not choose to (help and) empathize with Scary after all the pain she has caused him, but that's not the kind of person Linc is, and I hope the points I raised earlier make that reasonably clear.

So no, I don't think Linc chose the easy option. I think he believes himself when he says that sometimes the harder route is the better one, and followed through on this when he took his shot.

Sincerely, if you think the Doodler is just a scared teen deserving of empathy and sacrifice and making tough decisions, but Scary isn't, then I think you've missed the point. The Doodler is just acting out and needs help, but when Scary or Linc break an anchor through violence (be it violently empathetic or not), we give up on them? We hope for Normal to abandon them when they're hurting and depict it as deserved or even righteous? I can't get behind that, I'm sorry.

Furthermore, whereas Norm would certainly be justified in feeling concerned for the Doodler's sake if Linc's actions count as an act of violence, apart from that like, if Norm chooses to interpret Linc reaching out and showing support to someone as lost and alone and in need of help as Scary as a personal attack against him, either as a betrayal of their friendship (Norm is very jealousy-prone we’ve known this from the start!) or as a direct attack against Norm's perfect little violence-free narrative that lets him be the hero regardless of who gets left behind wait does he actually just hate Hero cause of her name hm, then that is, respectfully, completely a problem with him, and not with Linc. I think if Normal actually snaps from this, then his entire philosophy of choosing empathy is based on a lie, and Norm just wants to follow the narrative that allows him to be the hero on paper, so that everybody finally loves him.

Well that's a bit harsh huh. Believe it or not, I'm genuinely not trying to throw Norm under the bus here. But... I am trying to expose his flaws and shortcomings in relation to the other teens. This is important moving forward, because in refusing to seriously acknowledge the fact that Norm, while still having plenty of good in his heart, is someone who can be quite self-centered, and ultimately cares about being well-perceived and loved first and foremost, we become blind to the ways in which Norm, like Scary, is vulnerable to future instances of manipulation. That bit on appearance vs. true compassion isn't mere interpretation, by the way, Will has stated this quite clearly in episode 27 of teen talk (and in general I'd really rather not rely on that kind of bonus content in these sorts of posts but, well, it's hard to ignore this):

Will: (In reference to Norm's scene in the pride layer) "I feel like I understand Normal better now, like a kind of darker side of his psyche that's different from Henry... Like Henry's very concerned with being a good person but I don't think is super concerned with whether people like him or not, whereas Normal is like a little concerned with being a good person but *mostly* concerned- it's two different ways to solve love [he explains what it implies for Henry], the other is 'if everyone else likes me, that means I can take that in as well'."

I need to stress that I am not trying to imply that Norm is anywhere close to being a bad person, btw. Normal, like everybody else, has his flaws, but has proven that he has plenty of good qualities as well. What I *am* trying to imply is that Norm does have a tendency to put himself at the center of things, and is from a more meta standpoint benefiting from a narrative that puts him at the center of things (more or less guaranteeing that he will be seen as a hero of sorts no matter what- evident even in how fandom largely depicts him vs the other teens), and I'm just saying that if ever he found himself in Oakvale by some chance he might really appreciate the enforced anti-violence initiative put in place by the town's noble leader who really just gets him and praises him and-

I know (almost) nobody wants to hear this, but if Normal actually had a villain arc, it would most likely consist of him falling down the same path that Barry did. Barry was a hero, on paper. And the people around him certainly saw him as such, and loved and accepted him in some sense of the word, which is what he truly wanted at the end of the day. And he got rid of all the violence!!!

But none of that makes Barry a good person.

*sniff sniff*

Hey... Has anyone else noticed the distinct lack of stinky weebs in this post?

As much as I myself am a bit more interested in the Linc side of things right now, I do need to talk a bit (or a lot) about Taylor too. My little guy! You haven't even had a proper, serious character arc yet and people have already decided that you don't have a shot vis a vis the upcoming anchors, despite easily being the most emotionally resilient and stable of the group. You know what, I'm gonna throw in most loyal too. If you'll humor me...

Taylor may not be the most empathetic of the teens (in fact, he may very well be the least), but this doesn't mean he doesn't care, and doesn't mean he isn't kind in his own way. What's particular about Taylor's brand of loyalty compared to the other teens that I think might make it a bit easy to overlook is that it while it is very strong, it tends to be reserved only for the people he chooses to call his friends (oh, and his mom!). There's no question of Taylor's choice to disregard what Nick tells him and go back to save Linc from the FBI, it embodies some of the most fundamental parts of who Taylor is as a person. Which I guess is to say that, there are ultimately only so many people Taylor chooses to have in his circle, but those bonds are extremely important to him, and he really is ride or die about them. I think that this aspect is most obvious when looking either at Taylor's relationship with Linc or Cassandra, but also with Hermie actually! Oh, and similar to the example with the FBI, Taylor's response to the whole Tony situation is perfectly consistent with this aspect of his character as well. Tony was not part of Taylor's circle, not someone he chose to let himself get attached to (because when Taylor gets attached to someone, it is indeed a very deliberate choice), so no, he's not gonna care that much about Tony's death. But he is bothered by Scary's betrayal. He is bothered because, even if they weren't the closest, Scary was, I would argue, still part of Taylor's circle. And yes, he is bothered by Linc leaving him alone in the last episode for the same reason, except that in this case it's probably worse actually. I know I'm straying pretty far from the original topic here, but still I think it's worth exploring the interesting position this puts Taylor in going forward, especially with respect to Nick.

("Seriously baba when did this become about Nicky literally what are you talking about right now?")

Thus far, Taylor has made it very clear that no, he is not going to allow Nick to be someone he becomes attached to. There's a risk, in loving and becoming loyal to someone as strongly as Taylor does, and Nicky has not yet proven himself to be a risk worth taking. So what happens next? Nicky is (finally) around after all, so what might the future hold for little Taylor? On the one hand, Nicky's "words of advice" might begin to get through to Taylor, which could leave him in a pretty dangerous position. Taylor takes a big risk every time he lets someone in (everyone does but Taylor more than all the others because of how fully he loves and trusts and protects, is what I'm saying- er... He's a lot like his dad that way actually!), so what if Nick convinces him that nobody is worth that risk, and that everyone you hold dear will ultimately betray you? Well, I think we'd be left with a very lonely Taylor! Conversely, what if Nicky decides to prove himself worthy of Taylor's love? What if Taylor comes around and lets him in? ahaha shit I feel like there's a bad joke to be made about Taylor keeping his dad at arms length and his dad not having any arms right now god fucking damn it what even is this post. Will Nicky be able to maintain that trust? If he abandoned Taylor again, after Taylor has allowed himself to become attached (or if something happens to Nicky cause lets face it horrible things tend to happen to Nicky), I think Taylor might finally have a hard time getting back up.

What the fuck was I talking about? Oh yeah, so I guess going back to Norm, on the one hand, I guess on the more extreme end Taylor could actually take Linc's actions very hard, in which case I actually could see him sticking with Norm as an act of self-preservation. That said, I don't personally feel that this will be the case, that Linc is still ultimately in Taylor's circle, and accordingly Taylor's loyalty towards Linc will persist, albeit perhaps with a seed of doubt sewn at the back of his mind. And I don't think in that case that it's fair to frame this as Taylor betraying Normal? As others have pointed out, Norm frankly just hasn't really earned much in the way of Taylor's friendship. Really, as far as I'm concerned, Taylor doesn't really owe Norm much of anything at all. From the very beginning Norm has made it clear that he doesn't particularly care for Taylor, and ultimately has let his own jealousy and desire for attention (especially Linc and Hermie's attention) get in the way of ever really getting to know or appreciate Taylor beyond the surface level. Would I call it betrayal for Taylor to choose to continue to support his best friend instead of the guy who told him that anime isn't real? No, and I think the double standard is pretty obvious if we consider the reverse. That is, if Taylor chose Norm over Linc, after everything he and Linc have been through, would we be framing Linc as the victim of some grand betrayal? I genuinely don't think we would, at least not to the extent that we would with Norm. I suppose I'm saying all this, because well as aforementioned I just find there's been a lot of undeserved cynicism towards Taylor, and I think a lot of it does genuinely come from Normal's privileged position within the narrative as its de facto "hero" and what is most convenient for maintaining that image (and when I say "hero", that does include "righteous villains" who "deserve(d) to snap", just so we're clear on that).

Hmmmm I kinda wanna talk about Taylor and Normal as each other's foils but this post is getting a bit long isn't it... *Sigh* Not today, no, not today.

......Okay but still I have to say that if Taylor actually does finally get his "main character moment" I actually think that would be a great opportunity for Norm to acknowledge, reconcile, and learn to cope both with his jealousy and the parts of himself that are self-centered. Conversely, if Taylor does for one reason or another stray a bit too far into the habit of keeping people at arm's length out of fear of abandonment, betrayal, or the like, I think he could learn something from Norm too (having trouble phrasing exactly what I mean here, so perhaps I'll save the full notion for another time!)

So that's... Yeah, I think that's the most important stuff. I debated on sort of elaborating on examples of Norm's major character flaws, but despite everything my intent here was first and foremost to offer a "defense of the other teens" more than anything else. Though I will say that I think there is something to be said about how Normal's self-centeredness gets in the way of his ability to actually help those around him (Grant and Taylor both being great examples in "The Staircase"), how this contrasts with Linc's willingness to actually listen to and figure out what Scary needs in this most recent episode, and accordingly what Normal could potentially learn from Linc about not just choosing the route that's easiest for you.

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mysteryman-17 · 1 year ago

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DIRK * Their ULTIMATE HEIST turned out to be you. * Don't let them keep their prize!

The original track and Dirk as a character were both created by @emihead. You can listen to the original track and learn more about Dirk at their respective links! (The flavor text at the top of my description is non-canon btw, I just wrote it for the funni.)

Motifs:

Don't Forget

Dirk / Mirror Match (first half)

THE WORLD REVOLVING/BIG SHOT/"freedom" motif

Dirk / Mirror Match (second half)

You can listen to this track in high quality on my SoundCloud here, and are also able to download it (plus a couple bonus renders) and view the transcribed secret lyrics on Google Drive! The rest of the description is underneath the Read More.

Soooooo… this project was originally going to be a LOT different! I initially was just going to do a "with lyrics" kind of cover of the original, and one chunk of the lyrics I wrote for that actually made it in here as part of the secret lyrics! But as I was listening to the track more to come up with lyrics a lot of which were kinda jank hence why I scrapped them, that evolved into a desire to outright cover the track in its entirety from the ground up. This was VERY difficult to transcribe -- and even pick out instruments for -- in a fair few key regards, but the effort was well worth it. I'm admittedly not completely satisfied with the percussion, but I managed to get it in a fine enough state by the end of this whole process. Pitched my cover down a couple semitones from the original, and even added a new section here! While I really adore the original track (to the point of listening to it to an EXCESSIVE degree,) I feel like one slight missed opportunity was the complete ommission of the second half of Dirk's motif, so I used it as a base to merge with ULTIMATE HEIST's stylings and create the new part (while taking similar creative liberties as to what Emihead did with the first half of Dirk's motif.) The lyrics for the vocals around about 1:44 - 1:52 were adapted and truncated from Khamydrian's well-known lyrical adpatation of Mad Dummy. The section in particular that I used was VERY MUCH on the brain as being fitting for Dirk, albeit in a FAR different way than they were for Mad Dummy. So for lack of a better way of putting it, I pulled a fucking Spamton lmaoooo. And ye, I did ALL of the vocals here. But yeah, I think that's about all I wanted to talk about. Was incredibly satisfying putting this together over the past week (has especially helped the tail end of my leave of absence from work fly by,) and I hope you all enjoy! :)

#deltarune #deltarune chapter 3 #deltarune au #deltarune fan character #deltarune dirk #dirk #music #audio

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winn-schott-throughtheheart · 3 days ago

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Idk if this if something you’d do, but bcs I love to project onto Winn and with the disability headcannons, what abt epilepsy? If ur uncomfortable doing those or something that’s ok!! :33

I shit you not I was sooo close to adding something in about seizures but I decided not to, so im doing it now!

maybe something mable the service dog can help out with too?

the most common ones for winn are focal and absence seizures- he doesn't tend to go tonic clonic/grand mal often, it's only happened once or twice, but obviously it's not something he's jumping at the chance to repeat.

I think POTS can actually cause seizures as well, but he can't really tell the difference between epileptic and non-epileptic seizures

it did Not help with him feeling isolated and ostracised when he was a kid. like, at all

he finds it often goes hand in hand with his anxiety. when he's really really stressed out about something, be it an important deadline or an appointment or something, he'll have more frequent episodes in the run up to it. short term stress like panic attacks or meltdowns can also sometimes progress into seizures, which is extra scary

mable is there to help though !

linking back to the poor real time pattern recognition from the other post, he's not great at recognising when he's about to have a seizure. he'll recognise something feels Weird™ but he won't know what until after the fact, which. doesn't help.

this was one of the reasons he figured he should probably get a service dog

(lena is to thank for the funding)

j'onn is good at recognising when winn is having/is about to have an episode, cause he'll feel that his mental signature just.. isn't there. it's hard for people to notice especially because he's winn, and he gets in the zone and he spaces out when he's thinking hard about something or he's distracted, so it can be hard to distinguish this from an actual absence seizure

these can be dangerous even though theyre short, considering how often the deo gets attacked, if he isn't aware of his surroundings

focal seizures are a little easier to spot but still not all that easy, because winn stims a lot normally and any repetitive movements can easily be chalked up to that or anxiety

winn himself actually has a hard time differentiating between a panic attack and a focal seizure, because he doesn't really lose consciousness during them

whenever he has one at work he's sent home, no questions. even if he insists he feels fine after. winn Does Not like this arrangement.

he managed to be inconspicuous enough at catco that cat never noticed. he wasn't upset about it, more relieved that he never had to draw unwanted attention to himself, but a little part of him is glad that people at the deo seem to care so much about him that they'll notice these things

he does struggle with self esteem though and feeling like he's an inconvenience to the people around him. he apologises a lot if he has an episode infront of someone

he's also Not good at listening to people, including mable. he Needs to feel useful, he Needs to be doing something as often as he can, and too often he's been hurt because he brushed off the warnings and not prepared accordingly

he just kinda always has bumps and bruises and scrapes

I hope these were okay!! just some food for thought ig, I don't know what i would do if I couldn't project every fibre of my being onto my favourite characters lol. if I said something wrong or if you have more requests please let me know !!

#winn schott #supergirl #headcanons #epileptic winn schott #charlie answers

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blindedguilt · 1 year ago

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Apparently the dialogue in Japanese during the "Leonard's lament/hunger" is a lot more explicit about his inclinations, would you know anything about this? I've heard that the fairy explicitly tells him to do the nasty to the fallen child soldiers but I've seen no confirmation of this

What WAS Changed from Leonard's Hunger to Leonard's Regret - Drakengard Analysis

//Hey anon! I assume you're talking about the game, right? Because I actually DID translate the full script from the World Inside 10th Anni box for the Leonard's Regret/Hunger chapter a while back (It was the only translated part of an unfinished project to do the WHOLE script that likely won't be finished), but that has in-game comparisons between the NTSC-J and NTSC versions as well! I'll link it here if you're interested. Note: This covers only the EVENTS in the game, and not actual in-game dialogue, as I haven't translated that. Sorry! For ease of access, I'll also provide a hopefully adequate summary below the cut detailing the differences between the original script (Later edited into what would be the NTSC-J version of the game), the Japanese version of the game, and the English localisation! Believe it or not, there was actually more cut content between the script and the Japanese version of the game than the Japanese and the English (Which certainly does have it's blunders, but nowhere near as steep.) And of course, if you have any other questions about this, feel free to reach out to my Discord at barnabism or just send another ask! :) Here's the info, strap in for a LONG post ahead:

So to start with the first scene in Leonard's Hunger, there's a couple points of interest right off the bat, actually!

Pointing Out Leonard's Survival

While it was toned down in the Japanese and toned down even further in English, when the Faerie points out the conscripts in the script it was actually an intended jab towards Leonard's absence "Hiding under the trees" which led to his unintentional survival!

(NTSC) "Hark you, hark! Look in the shadows of the trees. The ones hiding away are probably fine." "......" (NTSC-J) "Hey, hey, look carefully through the shadows of the trees. The ones who hide beneath them might be alive and well! Ahahaha!" "...Kgh!" (SCRIPT) "Hey, hey! Look carefully through the shadows of the trees. The one who does that might survive alive and well! Ahahaha!" "...Kgh!"

I wouldn't chalk this up to "censorship", however (At least not in the case of the English), it honestly kinda reads like a bad game of Telephone which is something you'll see a LOT with the English translation. Where the Japanese seemed deliberately toned down to give more "Insinuations" at best or just to outright write around it at worst, the English seems like its trying its best to pick up on that nuance without... Actually knowing where it's coming from? Without that base point of reference (The script), it seems like there was a lot of grappling around in the dark for those poor English localisers to do. :( *That said, there are some instances where things are explicitly written in Japanese but unable to be fluently translated, like Furiae's confession scene, or sometimes... They ARE just outright changed, like the infamous "You smell very nice" line from Ending D. The Drakengard fanbase DOES commonly assume that the latter is the case all-around, but there's a lot more to it than that! Moving on, here's an example of something that was VERY intentionally taken out from the NTSC-J release to the NTSC release.

"Something Else" - Deleted Snippets From Changed Lines

(NTSC) "Oh, it smells fishy. What will you do? Doesn’t it feel dangerous? Are you shaking? Over here! Here! Here!" (NTSC-J) "It smells fishy. What will you do? Can’t you sense it? Isn’t it dangerous? Hahah! Oh? Are you trembling because you’re scared? Or is it something else…? Ahahahahaha! Here! Here! Look here!" (SCRIPT) Faerie (Maliciously): "You can’t see them, but you can smell them, can’t you? Can’t you? That lively scent is your favouriiite~! Right? A large army of smooth, pallid, soft legs is here!"

So as you can see here, the bit from the Japanese - "Oh? Are you trembling because you're scared? Or is it something else...?" was taken out in the English release, but this original Japanese line that appears in the game is COMPLETELY different from what was written in the script!

And if that edited line in the NTSC-J edition of DOD wasn't clear enough as to what the Faerie was hinting at, here's something that's DEFINITELY more explicit. But unlike the English completely removing it over concerns to content, here it seems toned down as a result of differences in writing systems.

"Inexperience" - Pay Attention to the NTSC-J Line

(NTSC) "Right, right! Young soldiers right out of training, gutted like fish!" (NTSC-J) "Right right, ahaha! Still just sweet little things, lacking and inexperienced!" (SCRIPT) "Right, right, ahaha! Boys, boys, beautiful boys! How appetising~!"

Putting aside the Script's description of the young conscripts as "Beautiful" and "Appetising" (Hard, I know lmao), the edited NTSC-J version VERY cleverly used Katakana to it's advantage to make a point that... Honestly, if you ask me, is even more direct than the Script counterpart. Here's a look at what I'm talking about:

(NTSC-J Original) 「そっ、そっ、ウキャキャ! まだまだケツの青い甘チャンばかりだぜ! 」

I've bolded and coloured the Katakana referenced here with the whole article bolded itself, "Ketsu no Aoi", which as a whole can mean "Inexperienced" or "Lacking in x" (Skill, in this case). The interesting thing here is the use of Katakana on "ケツ" here, which, typically when written like that, is used to refer to someone's bottom. So it CAN be taken as "young and inexperienced" or quite literally, "Their ass is inexperienced" which... *Cough* Yeah. This, of course, is a VERY particular use of Katakana, so I honestly can't blame the English localisers just going "Fuck it" and making it their own.

Scrapped Ideas

An added note before we go onto the next scene, which I believe isn't EXACTLY what you're looking for but something I thought you or anyone else reading this would be interested in. There's also something interesting to mention about the "Garrison" that was brought up here ("If the garrison is here, then the prisoners should be, too."), and that's three things:

This WAS originally going to be a type of "Side-quest" where you go save your Union allies from the garrison and defeating the "Monsters" (I believe subhumans) guarding them, and THEN the conscripts begin to attack you in desperation. Unfortunately, it looks like this sidequest was scrapped, though I question what circumstances led to such a specific line pertaining to the quest still remaining.

At one point, it actually WAS thought that items could be used and included - Particularly "Crystals" and "Smokebombs", though looking back, I wonder if these "Crystals" mentioned here were later saved for the crystals you use to find your path in Drakengard 2....

Remember that one conscript that summoned a ghost at the end of the chapter? All conscripts were originally planned to do that. For better or for worse, it didn't go through.

Necrophilia Jokes

As the title suggests, when you mentioned the faerie explicitly goading him on to do it with the dying/dead conscripts, there actually IS something like that not in the NTSC and certainly not the NTSC-J games, but in the script! You'll find a pretty clear example in the very first line!

(NTSC) "Hey, hey! What’ll you do about the bodies? Stab them again?" (NTSC-J) "Hey, hey! What will you do with the bodies? Hahah! Is your torment growing?" (SCRIPT) "Hey, hey! Are you even lusting after corpses? Ahahah! Aren’t you pent up!"

Which of course is it's own can of worms, but shines MUCH more brightly paired with the Faerie's next line, after Leonard states his commitment to give the fallen conscripts a proper bruial:

(NTSC) "You have time for such luxuries? Well, do you? Do you? Do you?" (NTSC-J) "Hahahah! Is this the time for such a deliberate process? Hey, are you listening to me-? Hey, hey!" (SCRIPT) "Ahahaha! This isn’t the time to be toying with corpses. Hey, are you listening to me-? Hey, hey!"

Of course, the Faerie teasing Leonard about necrophilia can and WILL go even worse into the active goading of "Do it, buddy, I dare you" it will give later on, but I want to intercept that with something the Conscript here does in the scripts that really caught my attention - The Conscript, under the influence of Red-Eye, using the weakness of his inclinations to their own advantage.

The Conscripts "Manipulation"

I'm not gonna lie, when I first detail it really brought me back to this fucked up little fanfiction I saw on Pixiv where this conscript ends up seducing and subsequently disemboweling poor Leonard. As you might be able to tell by my mentioning, it's kinda stuck with me. Pixiv is a fascinating place.

(NTSC) "I’m afraid." (NTSC-J) "I’m… I’m afraid…" (SCRIPT) CONSCRIPT (Alluringly): I’m… I’m afraid…

Through the script, there are different dialogue tags to denote the tone in which that particular line is spoken. While this tidbit in itself isn't much, I figured it very worth mentioning just for its role in the general topic of "More controversial things that were snipped out of either the NTSC-J or NTSC versions of Leonard's Regret/Hunger", not to mention the implications it has on the wider nature of Red Eye Disease as a whole! Think about it - Taking into consideration that the script implies the Conscript "Knew" about his inclinations enough to use them to his advantage, Leonard mentioning that this conscript share's his brother's voice is a detail that definitely catches my attention now. I wonder if it was just tragic coincidence, Leonard being unable to judge correctly in his grief, or perhaps RED allowing the conscript to mimic his brothers? Which is an actually TERRIFYING thought, but hey, I absolutely adore it. There is a plethora of writing material and silly thoughts to have from that alone, which, as an RPer, is probably among the best things I can have. XD

The Faerie's Goading

Back to the faerie, there's a final detail in its teasing for this scene:

(NTSC) "Oh? Oh-oh-oh-oh? Feeling pity? For the enemy? Can’t start wavering now!" (NTSC-J) "Oh? Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh? Are you just happening to feel sympathy right now? For the enemy? Now’s no time to tremble. Hey!" (SCRIPT) "Oh? Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh? Are you getting ideas already? For the enemy? I wonder if you’ll go all the way? Just as I thought! Ahah!"

As is the recurring theme here, the script is MUCH more explicit than either, where the NTSC opts for snipping out a couple more details, which in this case is the line "Now's no time to tremble". There's nothing special I have to say about this outside of jesus fuck, of course so we'll wrap it up with the final event scene in Leonard's Regret/Hunger real quick!

Another Note

Just to add, Beholders and Gargoyles were among some of the enemies planned to be put into this level, along with... Treants! It's a popular bit of folklore across Germany, particularly in regard to the Black Forest (Though it came from France) that scared the crap out of me as a kid, so I was pleased to see them here and VERY upset they didn't make the final cut :(

The Final Scene - Leonard's Botched Confession

GOD, from the first time I saw this scene, I was so disappointed. All that tension, all those hints and build-up for Leonard to finally break and be asked "What's going on here? Why are you acting like this?" You'd think you'd get something better than "It's a secret." You just know that this was a scene that got rewritten last second, and it turns out that in the NTSC-J version, it's the same exact case - but in the script? We finally get to see what was intended to be put there (And my years long grudge against that scene was finally, kinda, put to rest.)

So, when Leonard falls to his knees and asks for forgiveness, and Angelus asks (Or perhaps Caim) asks "Why this wasted pity?", the faerie responds for him (Which, keep in mind, Leonard responds to this by immediately begging for Caim to kill him right then and there):

(NTSC) "He won’t say! He’ll never say the truth! It’s a SECRET!" (NTSC-J) "He won’t say! Haha! He’ll never talk about that. It’s! A! Secret! Heehee. Ahahahaha!" (SCRIPT) "He won't say! Haha! That boy was too cute for him to say. He wanted to hold him, among other such things. Heehee. Ahahahaha!"

To add to the bit "He wanted to hold him", the exact word used is "抱きたい", and while it DOES typically mean "To hold, to embrace" among other things in certain ~contexts~ (Like Furiae's confession scene, where the same word is used) it can also mean "To have sex with". The rest of the scene actually doesn't have next to anything changed outside of a tiny added "...You can't." when the Faerie addresses his wish for death that got trimmed from the script, though I will add for context an interesting thing in the same quote a detail added that wasn't originally in the script, similar to a couple other things we've seen so far, is a distinction that can only be seen in Japanese:

(NTSC) "Huh? What did you say? Helloo! You couldn’t die, could you? Just gave yourself a little nick. So sad. Didn’t you make a promise to live with me, big brother? I can’t survive alone anymore, you know. A pact. We made a pact. Don’t forget." (NTSC-J) "Haah-? What are you saying? Helloo? You couldn’t die then, could you? Just gave yourself a small little scar! …You can’t. Didn’t you make a promise to live with me, big brother? I can’t live alone by myself anymore, you know. The pact, the pact! Ahahaha! Take care to remember!" (SCRIPT) "Haah-? What are you saying? Helloo? You couldn’t die then, could you? Just gave yourself a small little scar! …You can’t. Didn’t you make a promise to live with me, big brother? I can’t live alone by myself anymore, you know. The pact, the pact! Ahahaha! Take care to remember!"

It's actually indistinguishable in either translation, so I'll highlight the Japanese text here:

(NTSC-J Original) 「はあ?　何言ってんのお?　もしもーし?　アナタ死ねなかったんですよねー?　ためらい傷バリバリ!　……やだなぁ。俺といっしょに生きてくれるって約束したじゃないですか、お兄さん。俺、もうひとりじゃ生きられない身体なんですよ。契約ね、契約。フヒャヒャヒャ。おねがいしマッス。」 (SCRIPT Original) 「はあ?　何言ってんのお?　もしもし?　アナタ死ねなかったんですよねー?　ためらいバリバリ!　……やだなぁ。俺といっしょに生きてくれるって約束したじゃないですか、お兄さん。俺、もうひとりじゃ生きられない身体なんですよ。契約ね、契約。フヒャヒャヒャ。おねがいしマッス。」

Again, it'll be hard to find a difference through all that, but you'll see the game actually added a term to the script's "ためらいバリバリ" - "A hesitant nick", with "ためらい" meaning hesitant and "バリバリ" standing for a small little cut or scar! Together it really is it's own term meaning "A shallow (hesitant) scar" The game, however, added a character - 傷 - which on the surface, doesn't seem to add much, as by itself the character quite literally just means "Wound". HOWEVER, put together with ためらい this creates a very specific term, ためらい傷 (Tameraikizu) which quick literally means "Hesitation wound", and stands as an exact term for the wounds left over when someone who attempts suicide fails and is left with lasting (Usually permanent) scars because of it. And recalling Leonard's failed attempt to slit his throat in his introductory scene... You know, I honestly wondered how permanent that scar was. Either way, I hope this post has the answers you're looking for! I really enjoyed writing it, and of course, if you have any questions, feel free to message me (Via asks, DMs, or Discord!) and I'll be happy to get back to you! Thanks so much for sending this in, just being able to talk about our boy is a treat, so again, I really enjoyed it~ :3> Again, thank you, and I hope you enjoy! :)

#||OOC||#Drakengard #Leonard #Leonard Drakengard #DOD1 #drag on dragoon #translations #drag-on dragoon

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lizziethebibrid · 1 year ago

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Can you please do something with Jed/Ben for 18 or 27? Ps I love your work

This is the last ask in my inbox and has been there for a long time, but I finally got around to writing it! (also thank you for the love🥺)

18. Looks like we’re going to be stuck here for a while

27. Tell me what I can do to help

ao3 link here

It was a quiet night. As quiet as it could be considering it was pouring outside. Standing by the window though, staring outside, Jed had never felt so peaceful before.

“Looks like we’re going to be stuck here for a while,” he heard Ben’s voice coming closer. The lights were off and Jed was once again reminded of things he could no longer do.

“Not like we’re in a hurry to go,” Jed said, still staring outside. It was weird. He couldn’t really tell what he was feeling.

“Tell me what I can do to help,” Ben said, suddenly standing next to him. Jed didn’t have to say anything, they both knew tonight was going to be weird and Ben had a tendency to try and help even when he didn’t exactly know what to do. It’d gotten them into trouble in the past, but he was working on it.

Jed was grateful they were surrounded by the dark. It worked to hide at least some of the emotions on his face. He was getting better at using his words, but he didn’t even know where to begin here. He didn’t know if he was happy or not. He felt peaceful, but there was a weird nostalgia covering everything too.

“I don’t know,” he decided to be honest about it. “This is not…” He sighed. “I don’t know.”

“You really don’t feel any different?” Ben asked. He was being tentative about it, Jed could tell.

“I feel a lot different, that’s the issue,” he said. “The absence of blinding pain is great, I’m not gonna lie, but also I was kinda… used to it? I don’t know, it doesn’t make much sense.”

“You triggered your curse when you were young, it makes sense that the sudden absence of it is… unsettling, to say the least,” Ben said.

“Yeah…” Jed trailed off. “I really don’t remember the last time I actually looked at a full moon for more than a few seconds. It’s nice.”

Ben didn’t really say anything, just stood next to him, staring outside too. Jed knew he was waiting for him to say something and if he ended up not saying anything that would be okay too. There was really no wrong answer here.

“I miss it,” he said after a few moments. “All of it. I know being a werewolf comes with a lot of baggage, but it’s the only life I've known. And starting again after all these years is throwing me off. I don’t even know who I am. Who I can be right now,” he spoke the words quietly into the night.

“You have the chance to find out,” Ben said. “But... Look, I know I have made mistakes in the past when it came to your curse-”

“I forgave you about that,” Jed cut him off. “Invited you to the party and everything.”

Ben let out a little laugh, casting his eyes downwards for a second. “I am aware,” he said. “What I mean to say is that our curses did not define us. You are still the same person you were, you’re just… Learning to adjust to this new reality.”

“How are you adjusting?” Jed turned to look at him. “Staying alive and in one place for more than a few days? When was the last time that happened?”

“I couldn’t even tell you,” Ben said, staring back at him. “But I could get used to it. And you are trying to avoid the conversation.”

“I’m not trying-” he started to say, but at the sight of Ben’s raised eyebrow he just gave up. “Okay, fine, I am, but in my defense I don’t think this is something I’ll figure out today. It’s just this night. It makes everything real. I’m really not a werewolf anymore.”

“Well, from what I understand, the gene is still there…”

“I’m also not really planning on killing anyone though…”

“Unfortunate choice of words on my part, I apologize,” Ben said, making him smile. “If you don’t feel ready to leave yet though there is time. No one’s chasing anyone anymore.”

“I don’t think I can figure out what this means for me here,” Jed said with a sigh. “It’s not like I could stay at the school forever. It is supposed to prepare us for the outside world. Not to mention I don’t think there’s really a place for me here right now.”

“There will always be a place for you here, you know that,” Ben said. “I’ve been here for a few weeks and I know that.”

“Maybe,” Jed relented. “But I still feel there’s so much to do out there. Also this really hot dude said he’d come with me and that can’t hurt.”

“Hm, for the record I think that ‘hot dude’ would follow you anywhere.” Ben gave him a grin. Jed wasn't ashamed to admit he found it utterly endearing whenever Ben tried to use expressions like this.

“Lucky me,” he said before leaning in to kiss him. The rain kept pouring outside, the full moon gleaming in the sky and Jed was still… Jed.

They pulled back, their foreheads still touching, their faces barely illuminated in the dark of the room. It was quiet. It was nice.

“We can figure this out together.” Ben’s words were whispered, but powerful enough.

Jed had really been through a lot, not to mention they’d just beaten the gods only days ago. They had a pretty good track record so far.

They were going to figure this out together. He had no doubt about that.

#thank you🥰#new fic #legacies #jedben #benjed #jed tien #ben prometheus #otp: i like simple

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zmediaoutlet · 2 years ago

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happy wincest wednesday!! if you could sort your own wincest fics by kudos which 5 (or 10) would be at the top?

happy wincest wednesday! (sorry i did not send an ask today ;-; -- thank you for keeping up the high fives anyway <3)

Um... hm. I guess this is effectively an 'author's favorites' list, although you could split some semantic hairs here and have it be which fics do you wish were most appreciated, which doesn't necessarily overlap with my own favorites. Tricky. Esp since my own taste (even for my own writing) changes so much, lol. But I can try!

oh so good, oh so fine -- this is my actual top by kudos and tbh it probably deserves to be there. plus the act of writing it was fun and it feels kind of... right, to me, that it's the top.

how badly i have let you down -- also pretty high up in fact, but I actually really like how it comes together as a destabilizing first time, especially since I don't actually like writing first time. Plus, like oh so good, it was written all in one sitting, and I just… often like the fics better when they're one quick shot from the hindbrain like that.

detente -- soulless!Sam/Dean, but it's really more about... Dean scraped down to misery entire, and a Sam who could give a shit but will take advantage if it's convenient. A lot grimier and grittier than I usually write spn, but it worked here.

freud's for suckers -- the early relationship here is just so fuckin cute. Written after I read Less, and if you've read that you could probably tell. This feels like a very Me version of a Dean POV.

eiderdown -- this is just frankly hot as fuck. A Sam who knows what he wants and will get it and isn't shy about it -- also very Z.

asceticism -- The Piss Fic, but more importantly the whole dissection of Dean's relationship to his body feels. idk, correct. Almost wish I hadn't tagged it correctly so people would read it for the part that actually matters, yanno.

the hollow summer -- sad, sad, sad. Whenever I write an AU it will nigh-inevitably be worse than canon. I put some real-life grieving in here and the writing's... honest. I really love the part where Dean beats the shit out of Sam (or tries to, at least).

buccaneer -- I know this is Dean/Crowley (and in fact Deanna/Crowley) on the face of it, but what it really is is the echo-shape of Dean(na)'s overwhelming, overarching need for Sam, felt in the absence of what's been cored out. Plus Deanna's sexy.

be subject to each other -- a rare sequel, but the established relationship here and the intimacy of finding yet another layer of ways to be known just makes me warm on the inside.

In a Cursed Hour -- this is technically gencest-that's-going-to-turn-into-fullcest, and might be a weird inclusion here, but if kudos actually reflected the level of work that goes into a story rather than whether someone's dick got wet in the approved way, this would have about 9000. So. I'm including it, lol.

Turns out I have ~160 posted spn fics, and one way or another they're all wincest (even the ones that have another pairing entirely -- that's how wincest the wincest is). So, picking ten of those. No links -- if anyone wants to read one they know how google works -- but this was actually kinda fun to think about, bud. Thanks <3

#happy wincest wednesday #answers #got me self-reccing which i always find so teethblob!#but -- hell. some of these are good.#might as well admit i think so

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gayrobos · 2 years ago

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Why not have Thrash's frustrations over the war be linked with how Bee was forced to go back into hiding? Speaking of the war episode, why have Shockwave act like that? I was expecting him to come out, not caring that the war is over or anything that wasn't his scientific plans to terraform earth into a Cybertron 2.0. And, you know, not act disgusted at the sight of the Terrans. WHY have a scientist who sees this LITERAL PHENOMENON and act racist to it? No? [2/4]

Shockwave should have been like "Oh good, this could help advance my research." AND TAKE THRASH. It would have been interesting to have Shockwave show the same dissmissiveness Thrash showed when Megatron was retelling the war. Having him question the scientist and receiving answers that reveal how little he cares about anyone outside of his plans. Even if it causes human to be erased, and horribly experimenting on the terrans, in the processed! [3/4]

Also, the absence of Optimus, the lack of him and the autobots on what happened with Bee, THE PARASITE GRUBS! WHY DIDN'T DOTTIE CONTACT ANY OF THEM ABOUT THAT?! Just-! Augh, it feels like so much information was lost in between episodes from the plot's refusal to cover those little moments that should be there to keep it consistent! [4/4]

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tragically, anon, your first ask got eaten. ::( I'm tantalized by the link between bee having to go into hiding and thrash's frustrations about the war. I also thought it was kinda weird that shockwave, who is famous in at least 2 popular continuities for using science to create things that should not be, was not more into things that should not be! and we know he's a scientist in this so it's kinda weird that he's engaging with an unknown phenomenon as like... some kinda robo alt right dude and not as a scientist.

um and then I wrote like a billion words of speculation so I'm putting it under a cut. I know your ask wasn't really about this but oops

you ARE making me want to think about a rewrite to center the terrans + siblings thoughts and feelings about their history. I think it would be cool to have them model "coming to your own conclusions about historical events" since they're the audience identification characters. maybe not the three babiest terrans (who honestly make these episodes SO crowded, there's not a lot of time for established characters). but I really like twitch's motif of being desperate to protect her family, and I'd want to foreground what's going on with thrash--as you point out he doesn't seem to care a lot about the history, he doesn't see why it should affect him. they don't understand how they're supposed to relate to this, which is great! I might have the last piece of season 1 see them accepting that they DO have to care, realizing that no single person who was there for the war can give them an unbiased account of it, not even their parents.

as for mo and robbie, they've already had a very specific education on the war, at least the part of it that was on earth--both their parents were there for it, and we know public schools teach it. and how does it affect THEM? they're not being held accountable for it like their terran siblings, but they do feel protective of the terrans and they're in this weird place where they're half "with the autobots" and half "unaffiliated." it really seems like they've been taught differently than most of the humans we meet in the racism parable episode; the malto kids believe autobots are not to blame for the war. I mean it seems like they have weirdly little blame toward the decepticons either but I think that might just be inconsistent writing. I really want to know what they actually think and how their opinions have changed after personally meeting a bunch of transformers.

e11: doesn't need to change, no notes. I like that the first 3 episodes are just baby terran nonsense and I like the twitch + hashtag relationship. wait actually no we need to address the fact that soundwave got captured on purpose and like... did they escape? what is their plan?? we need 1 crumb of foreshadowing so viewers (me) aren't rattling the bars of the fence like HEY WHAT'S GOING ON!!!

e12: deals with personal identity as a transformer and crucially!! personal identity in relation to war and politics! we hear that megatron adopted a new alt mode when she changed sides--she now has a form that humans can ride in. I think I'd want to have thrash in here instead of hashtag, because he chose his alt mode specifically for mo... we could introduce early the idea that he gets uncomfortable and checks out when he has to think about the war and the fact that he's expected to relate to it. he's not very interested in cybertronian society and falls more on the side of feeling like he's fully From Earth.

e13: deals with the idea of transformers wanting to integrate into human society. I don't get why they didn't introduce anti-transformer racism here if they were so excited about it. also I'm arbitrarily replacing tarantulas with sky-byte, the number 1 guy who is known for being a nonthreatening decepticon. he likes poetry, he likes history, one can easily see him being interested in humans and wanting to experience their culture as one of them, whereas it's not really clear why tarantulas wants to be a human. so I might make this an episode that complicates the enmity and separation between humans and cybertronians. I also want to make a little room to see mo and thrash's opinions about decepticons... cos we DID already do an episode about what if a decepticon seemed nice and fun, and mo and thrash got burned there. here we see them both trying to be responsible big siblings and stop nightshade from hanging out with a decepticon, but thrash also has some complicated feelings about the idea of transformers Becoming humans.

e14: look. if we're doing an arc about how much bumblebee cares about decepticons, we've got to go all the way. we HAVE to talk about decepticon ideology and why breakdown actually joined. friends don't split up for no reason; can we model for kids what it looks like to have a real important disagreement with someone and have to decide whether you can forgive them? how is that a parallel to megatron and optimus' relationship????? which wasn't in this series of episodes at all despite being really important in the first 10??? so I'd add that. I'd also retcon some of episode 8 bc as armcontrolnerve pointed out bee was really blithe about sticking mode locks on the cassettes, which doesn't really jibe with the idea that he values decepticon freedom. anyway. in my perfect world (I'm keeping twitch's freakout obviously) breakdown would be bitter about how bee wants to pretend they don't have any real differences and that their situations are the same and they can forget factional conflict and have a beer together. bee says something obliviously hurtful and breakdown is genuinely going to leave and save his own skin--until he sees bee give himself up for breakdown. we get some reciprocity to their relationship, and we get the sense that bee is willing to put himself on the line for people he cares about even if they're decepticons. the lesson for kids is that good intentions mean nothing if you don't say and do things to care for your friends.

e15: ummm okay I don't think the plot of this episode adds anything. it just makes me feel so bad for dot because she's been assigned saintly mom of infinite patience by the writers but her life is genuinely so hard. if we're gonna have a dot episode let's have a dot episode!!! what are the things she's trying to protect her children from knowing? what happens when she loses her cool and panics or yells or breaks down? I'd want to do a thing where she's trying her hardest to present her strong cheerful face for the kids but when it's over she goes to alex to be weak and express sorrow and frustration. "it's not your fault, kids. your mom isn't upset at you. she's just upset." my priorities are 1) allowing dot to be human and have faults, 2) showing that parents have an obligation of care toward their kids but that doesn't mean they don't need support too.

e16: this is the first time any of the kids get the sense that the war was actually ABOUT something. twitch is uneasy because she understands that the war is still happening and she feels it's her responsibility to defend her family from it. I might show this by having her ask pointed questions: what tactics were used in the war? what were casualty rates like? how can I best prepare for it to happen again? megatron finds this disturbing. the war is over, she insists. (I'd want to start to explore here in what ways megatron's account of the war is self-serving! maybe having nightshade ask cogent questions megatron ends up answering "well it's uhhh complicated.") twitch doesn't press the issue, but it's clear she doesn't agree. thrash, meanwhile, is checked out again and wanders off. shockwave gets reawakened, captures him, and we get the threat he'll be experimented on--I'd use visual parallels or even flashbacks to when they were captured by mandroid. shockwave is foiled and refrozen but thrash realizes: lots of people see us as symbols of whatever they want to see, not as people. thrash understands that there are people who are trying to make his family into a battleground. I'd end this episode by reaffirming that the malto family is not a battleground; they're not divided along those lines, they're whole. to his parents and siblings thrash is just a person. ideally he also looks cool in front of his younger siblings and feels the big brother emotion ::3 the thing that's fun about thrash, which is obvious comparing his shield to twitch's swords, is that he's really not about fighting. he wants to be a good big brother and help his siblings become their best selves; he's empathetic, he's about strengthening internal family bonds through fun and (eventually in my perfect world) also emotional intelligence. so his big moment isn't about taking the burden of battle, it's about being the one who's not freaking out and who allows his younger siblings the space to make informed choices about whether and how they want to fight. so the terrans take down shockwave together while megatron is frozen! we end on something nice with mom and dad... but nightshade, whose lessons in history from sky-byte have made an impression, wonders how shockwave would have told the story of the war.

e17-18: I'm completely changing the plot of these because I think "people are terrified of you because your countrymen destroyed a bunch of their cities, you can't do anything about this because you're just a kid" is a shitty thing to have to put in your biracial family metaphor. so. I'm going to make some wild claims about what the plot of this finale is going to be, and I'm not totally happy with it because I think the show writers came up with a premise that's pretty impossible to do well (giant alien robots on earth as an analogue for marginalized human groups).

I think the intro is bee and brawl and they're genuinely teamed up. we can use this to convey that bee has a reputation among decepticons as a whole for being willing to ignore factional boundaries. yo okay you know what would be really cool? is if bee is using his exile to try to free decepticons who are under human control, being threatened with getting handed over to GHOST in the same way mandroid was threatening novastorm and skywarp. this can be about gladiating as opposed to what I think is a more realistic case (the military extorting people to join? never!) because it's a kids' show. but it's crucial that the same people hurting the decepticons are also the ones hurting humans who are under their power. people who are capable of causing genuine harm to transformers have the power to do that to other humans too. we can even use this to build a little human/tf solidarity. brawl pushes a heavy cart for a custodian whose back isn't what it once was, because it costs him nothing and he has a new perspective on having a job that sucks and hurts you. bee remarks on how he's changed. then we have this bee/brawl friendship and it makes it starkly weird when we see grimlock and realize there's something wrong with her. brawl says that she didn't used to be like this.

the malto half of the plot can be that hashtag and nightshade have teamed up to investigate something suspicious they found on the internet or something. a video of a transformer acting really weird? they dive into forum posts and supply lines and realize that someone is selling devices that mind control transformers. jawbreaker hangs back and tells the four older siblings, who now believe it's their responsibility to bring everyone back safe without waking up mom and dad. so now we have hashtag and nightshade infiltrating the arena in time to see bee fighting grimlock. knowing about the control chips, they realize what's going on and interfere with the fight, freeing grimlock, who furiously demolishes the arena. bee hurries the kids away to find brawl, who's been injured in his own fight against grimlock. at the end of the episode bee and brawl will leave together, with bee citing breakdown as someone he shouldn't have let out of his sight in the first place.

we end up finding out that mandroid is selling control chips to fund his projects, with the rationale that it keeps humans safe from transformers. I think we can still have him appear and have the hashtag fight, because that was really fun. I might cut the GHOST/mandroid connection because the good cop/bad cop thing they're doing with the schloeder siblings is extremely tiresome and irritating. I do want to keep the subplot where robbie meets one of his old friends and realizes he's changed a lot as a result of having the terrans in his family: he's more empathetic to people who are different than him, he interrogates what he's told to see if he believes it. in my mind his friend is excited about transformer fights and robbie's like "dude that's messed up."

so the overall thing the finale episodes are about is 1) people in bad situations feel empathy and solidarity and help each other out, 2) the babiest terrans are developing their moral compasses and teamwork skills. I feel like there's got to be a way to make the plotline more coherent but I've been looking at this post for like 3 hours and I'm just not smart enough to fix the mess the writers have made lol

#ohhhh I just realized bee is the audience identification character for adult fans and that's why he's so into decepticons #and yet has milquetoast praxis #earthspark spoilers -#tfes #okay this post is messy but I've been working on it for TOO LONG #please enjoy anon

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