#i kinda doubt it bc like. everything i work on has to be a matter of public record

[bright-and-burning]

niche as hell but oh my god i think i’m gonna spend the first MONTH of work with my skin crawling from having to reconfigure all of my routines and workflows to work with windows… the adhd attachment to my routines and inability to handle deviation well + the comp sci attachment to my specific workflow… this might kill me

[bloodibambiidoll]

Beer and Bunny’s

(Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader)

Summary: Eddie can’t seem to get himself to make a move on the new bartender at the hideout he has a crush on, but one night you decide to take matters into your own hands and he sees something that he just can’t resist. Wk:4.5K

Warnings: 18+MINDI Smut (unprotected P in V), Oral (M & F), Eddie being a lil pervy but reader is into it, kind of inexperienced!Eddie (he’s really nervous and has a lot of self doubt. My head canon for this Eddie is that he’s been with a few girls but none of them were interested in more than a one night stand), no use of Y/N so pet names, and I think that’s it? The smut is kinda soft n sweet, nothing too crazy. Lmk if I missed any!!

A/N: So I was running errands wearing my black mini skirt and my pink bunny panties the other day and this idea came to me. It’s super self indulgent tbh, but in my mind Eddie would lose his shit over something like this and I’ll die on that hill. 🫡 Also I usually read through my shit obsessively but I only read through this once so if you see mistakes, no you didn’t. (Not really tho pls tell me so I can fix them bc typos make me crazy) My Masterlist

Eddie was in a trance, playing his guitar on autopilot as he watched you bus tables, make drinks, and occasionally indulge a customer’s flirting for extra tips. Not that you needed to, that dress and your sweet smile was enough to have any man dumping his wallet out and emptying his bank account for you. Or maybe that was just him.

He knew it wasn’t though, because even though his band was up there putting their hearts into playing for 15 people tops, most of their eyes followed you. Granted it was mostly drunk middle aged men besides Ruth, a 60 something year old woman who was always sitting in the same stool at the bar, drinking the same cheap vodka, with her red lipstick smudged on her teeth. But still, he’s convinced even if the room was filled with a hundred women you’d still be the prettiest one there.

You started working at the hideout a few months ago when you moved to town and ever since then it was like Eddie was possessed by you. He thought about you constantly, the way those cut up band tees always fit so perfectly and how your ass always looked in those tight little skirts has him fisting his cock sometimes twice a night. He wanted to record the way your voice sounded saying his name when you’d bring him his favorite beer after a show without him even asking and play it on a loop over and over again.

But that wasn’t all, he thought about little things like holding your hand, or going to the drive-in and watching horror movies with you. Or just kissing you, god, he wanted to kiss your pretty glossed lips.

The only issue was every time you talked to him it was like his brain turned to mush and everything he had practiced to say disappeared from his mind.

Tonight was different though. After their last song when you came to bring him his beer, you gave him that sweet smile and told him how awesome they did like you always do. But then it happened. You accidentally walked backwards into one of the small amps, tipping it backwards.

“Oh my god! I'm so sorry, shit!” You apologized before turning around to pick it up and when you did Eddie felt like he was about to cum in his pants.

You were wearing this tight little faux leather mini dress with a zipper that went all the way down the middle and these sexy calf high combat boots. But when you bent over he saw you were wearing the cutest pink panties that had little bunnies printed all over them and something about that combination made him absolutely feral.

He heard a whistle behind him and when he snapped his head around to see where it came from he saw one of the guys sitting at the table closest to the stage practically licking his lips while he ogled you. He instantly felt possessive and moved closer so he was standing a few inches behind you, blocking you from everyone else.

You pulled the amp up with a huff before turning around and nearly jumping out of your skin when you realized how close he was.

“Holy shit! You scared me!” You brought your hand to your chest and laughed. “I didn’t know you were so close.”

“Y-yeah I’m sorry, when you bent over, you could uh- see your panties and um… people were looking.” He turned beet red and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Oh, you’re so sweet Eddie, protecting my modesty.” You placed a hand on his forearm and caressed it with your thumb a few times before you stepped close enough to him to whisper in his ear. “Were you looking too?” You pulled away just enough to look up into his eyes through your lashes.

“I- I mean- fuck.” He sighed and looked down at his feet. “I’m sorry… I know I shouldn’t have you were just standing right in front of me and then that guy whistled and-“

“Eddie!!” You squeezed his arm gently to get him to look at you and when he did you just wanted to kiss him. Those big brown eyes all filled with a mixture of lust and guilt were driving you crazy. “It’s okay… I want you to look.”

He’s pretty sure his brain just short circuited, you want him to look? What does that mean?

“I- you want me to- really?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. “You think I dress like this every time I work? Nope. Only on Tuesdays… just for you, Eds.”

“Shit. Really?” He looked at you in disbelief, he couldn’t believe the girl he’s been dreaming about is really standing here in a sexy little dress telling him that she wore it for him.

“Yeah.” You nodded and bit your lip. “I like how you look at me, it makes me… So. Wet.”

He threw his head back and groaned, he never thought you’d be so forward like this.

But he didn’t know that you had been waiting for him to make a move on you for weeks. You were tired of dancing around your obvious attraction to one another so you decided tonight you were going to take matters into your own hands.

“Shit sweetheart. You can’t just say things like that to me in public. You’re seriously going to make me bust in my pants. ”

“Well… don’t do that.” You giggled. “I know somewhere better that you can cum though…” You ran your hand down his arm and linked your hands together causing him to shiver. God, he was so responsive, you knew he liked you but apparently you didn’t know just how much.

“Fuck. Are you serious?”

“Deadly. You have a van, right? What’s the back like? Maybe you can show me.” You winked at him.

“Shit, yeah, I’d love to. But I have to put all this shit in the back and take it back to Gareth’s garage.” He looked so disappointed you just wanted to kiss his pouty pink lips.

“Hmmm… well, I live down the street. What if you drop off your stuff and meet me at my place after?” You suggested.

“GARETH! Take my van to your house, I’ll come get it later.” He turned to his drummer and threw him his keys.

“Dude. Seriously? You’re just going to leave us to pack up all this shit?”

His other band mate, who you think is named Jeff, looked between you and Eddie and put two and two together pretty quickly.

“We’ve got it man, have fun!” He wiggled his eyebrows at him before going back to packing up their equipment.

“Well, it looks like I’m all yours.” Eddie smiled at you nervously. God, he was just too cute.

“Looks like it, cutie. I’m off now, just gotta clock out. I usually walk so if you just wanna wait outside I’ll be right there.” You got on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek before jumping off the stage and walking toward the back of the bar, making sure to swing your hips extra for him.

•

The walk back to your apartment was filled with easy conversation and stolen glances, hands grazing but not quite grasping onto each other. The air heavy with the tension of what was to come.

“This is me!” You gesture towards the front door of your apartment before unlocking it and letting him inside.

Eddie looked around as you turned on some lights, he saw some cool posters on the walls and a large bookshelf in the corner. But before he could take in too much of your world you walked over to him and put your arms around his neck.

“Hi.” You smiled at him with a glint in your eye.

“Hey.” He returned your smile with a crooked smirk, bringing his hands to rest on your hips.

You brought one of your hands to his jaw, cupping it and running your thumb along his cheek. “I really really want to kiss you right now.”

He didn’t respond, instead he pulled you closer by the hips and smashed his lips against yours. His lips felt just as you imagined, pillowy soft and just the tiniest bit chapped. He tasted like the beer you gave him, the cigarette he smoked on the walk, and something that was just him. You moaned into the kiss, shoving your hands into his hair, tugging slightly. He groaned when you licked along his bottom lip, allowing you access. He kissed you until your knees were weak and you were both breathless.

“You are so beautiful. Fuck. I can’t believe I’m here right now. This feels like a dream.” He ran his hands up your sides over your dress. “Also this fucking dress… Jesus Christ.”

“Yeah? You like it? It’s new.” You took a step back so you could do a twirl for him. “I thought about you when I bought it, you know…” you brought your finger to the o-ring at the top of the zipper and tugged on it a little.

“I thought about you dragging me to the dingy bar bathroom, shoving me up against the wall and ripping it off me.”

“Holy. Fuck. You’re naughty, huh?” He chuckled.

“Maybe, wanna find out?” You grab his hand and start walking backwards toward your bedroom, dragging him with you.

You plop down on your bed to take your boots off but before you can reach for the laces Eddie walks forward and takes your foot in his hand, unlacing your shoes for you. Once they’re loose enough he pulls them both off your feet and he’s pretty sure you aren’t real at this point.

Your socks are the same pink as your panties with cute little bunny ears at the top of the ankles. Your socks match your panties.

“Yeah, you like these too?” You wiggled your toes in front of his face and giggled while he looked at you and froze, his face turning bright red.

“Shit. Did I say that out loud?”

“Yes, you did. Wanna know if my bra matches too?” You sit back on your hands and stick your chest out.

“Hell yeah I do.” He nodded dumbly.

“Why don’t you take my dress off and find out then, pretty boy.”

He didn’t hesitate to lean down and slip his finger into the o-ring zipper of your dress, slowly beginning to slide it down. When the tops of your breasts were exposed it became more and more clear that your bra didn’t match your panties because you weren’t fucking wearing one. He pulled the zipper down until it was just under the bottom of your tits and just as he thought, no bra. Your chest was on full display, slightly glistening with sweat from the material of your dress and he wanted to lick it off.

“Fuck, look at you… prettiest tits I’ve ever seen.” Not that he’d seen many but he’s pretty sure these are the best tits in the world regardless.

“You can touch them Eddie, I want you to.” You brought your hands up to squeeze them a few times before grabbing onto your nipples and twisting.

“Hold on, I’m appreciating the art before I destroy it.” He grabbed back onto your zipper and pulled it the rest of the way down so your dress was hanging open. You let the straps fall down your arms, leaving you in just those little panties and socks and he had never seen anything sexier. Your hair was a bit disheveled but still in the style you had done it in before you left for work earlier that night and your slightly smudged dark eye make-up contrasted with the soft pink of your garments. You stand up in front of him and play with the hem of his t-shirt.

“Take this off? I wanna see you too.”

He reaches behind his back to pull his shirt over his head and god damn. He has a few tattoos littered across his pale chest, his skin mostly smooth aside from his happy trail that you wanted to nuzzle your nose into on your way down to his cock.

“Wow. You are so sexy Eds.” You run your nails down his chest and torso, hooking your fingers in his belt loops and pulling his chest against yours. The feeling of your bare nipples pressed up against his warm skin sent shivers down your spine.

“Yeah? You think so? I think you’re the sexiest girl in the world.” He blushed.

“Thank you baby, can I take these off?” You pull on his belt loops with your fingers, running your thumbs along his soft waist.

“Please”

That’s all you needed to hear before you were on your knees in front of him, undoing his pants and pulling them down with his boxers.

“Holy shit Eddie…” Your eyes widen and your mouth waters at the sight of him fully bare in front of you. “You have the prettiest cock I’ve ever seen. I can’t wait to taste it.” And you meant it, his cock was fucking huge, the hard tip leaking just for you.

He was speechless, looking down at you on your knees in front of him with wide eyes.

You lean forward and run your tongue along his slit, holding eye contact with him while you take his tip in your mouth, suckling on it a few times before taking him deep in your throat.

“Oh fuuuuckkk holy shit.” He brought his hand to the back of your head and rested it there gently, letting you set your own pace.

But it was too gentle. You didn’t want him to hold back.

“Eddie.” You pulled your mouth off him with a pop and a string of saliva. “Use me, pull my hair, fuck my mouth, don’t be shy.”

“Holy shit. Are you- are you sure?” He was panting, looking down at you like you just told him he won the lottery.

“I’m so fucking sure, so so sure. If I don’t like something I’ll tell you baby. I promise, I like it rough.”

You spit in your hand, grabbing onto his cock and tugging it a few times before looking up at him with your tongue out.

He was still looking down at you with those big shiny doe eyes and you were about to lose it if he didn’t do something. Your other hand grabs onto his, guiding it to your hair and signaling for him to grab onto it. It took his mind a second to catch up but when he did it was like something snapped in him.

He grabbed onto your hair hard and slid his cock along the length of your tongue, hitting the back of your throat.

“Close your mouth- yeah, like that.” Once your lips were wrapped around him he started to slowly rock back and forth in your mouth, testing you by going deeper with each thrust.

After a few times of him hitting the back of your throat and causing you to gag he realized you liked it. Your eyes were watery, mascara starting to run down your cheeks, drool was dripping down your chin and you were fucking moaning around him like you were getting as much pleasure out of this as he was.

He was fully fucking your mouth now, pumping his cock down your throat while he cursed and moaned, using you just like you wanted. You reach your hand up to grab onto his drool slick balls and take them in your palm causing him to jerk forward and let out the sexiest moan yet.

“FUCKING SHIT!” He used your hair to pull you off of him and you look up at him with hooded eyes, a mixture of his precum and your drool dripping down your chin and he has to physically will himself not to cum at the sight. “ If you keep that up I’m going to cum in the next thirty seconds and I was really hoping I’d get to fuck you.”

“What? You don’t wanna cum twice? We have all night, unless you’re busy then I guess you can stop.” You said dramatically, in a way that he would’ve stopped to find really cute if he wasn’t so fucking turned on right now.

He practically growled as he grabbed back onto your hair and resumed his assault on your throat. One of your hands finds its way back to his balls while the other snakes around him to grab a handful of his ass for leverage.

“F-fuck this mouth is so fuckin- You’re such a good girl fuckin droolin all over, grabbin my balls while I use your little mouth. Wearing those little fuckin panties and socks. Fuck!” His grip on your hair tightened and his hips sputtered as you felt him explode in your mouth. You swallowed around him, moaning at his taste and taking all that he gave you.

He released his hold on your hair and you pulled your mouth off of him, bringing your pointer finger to the corner of your mouth to swipe the cum that dripped there into your mouth.

“Mmmm, you taste so good Eddie.” You smiled up at him, still on your knees.

“Yeah? I bet you taste even better.”

“Wanna find out?” You smirked at him, getting to your feet and laying back on the bed.

“Fuuuuuck” Eddie groaned at the sight of you laying there for him with your legs spread, a very prominent wet patch in those fucking panties, your hands grabbing on to your tits while your fingers pinch your nipples. You looked like the only meal he wanted to eat for the rest of his life. He got on the bed on his knees between your legs, smashing his lips to yours and kissing you like his life depended on it. He slid his tongue along your bottom lip and you immediately granted him access. He tasted himself on your tongue and it caused him to moan into the kiss.

He kissed down your jaw to your neck, running his tongue along the column of your throat, stopping just behind your ear at your pulse point to suck a mark there. He kissed and licked and sucked all the way down your body, stopping to pay your nipples extra attention.

When he reached the band of your panties he licked across your waist and nipped at your hips causing you to let out breathy little moans. He placed a kiss on each of your hip bones before placing one right on the top of your mound, looking up at you with those fucking eyes.

“Mmm baby, I can smell you.” He groaned as he breathed in your scent, flicking his tongue out to run it along your cloth covered slit, adding extra pressure to your clit. He wraps his lips around your bud, swirling his tongue, and even with the small barrier between you it still makes you see stars. He licks all around your cunt, soaking your already wet underwear as he laps at it. Finally he brings his finger to your panties to move them to the side and you barely even have time to process before he’s shoving his tongue as deep as it can go inside of you. Your back arches off the bed as you cry out.

“Oh f-fuck! Yes Eddie fuck!” Your hands come down and tangle into his hair, tugging it and causing him to groan into your pussy, the vibrations going through you like a shockwave.

His tongue came back up your bud, rotating between rough and soft flicks. His pointer and ring finger circle your hole before he inserts them both fully without resistance. He pumps them in and out of you, the room filled with the sounds of your moans and wetness as he laps at you. He sucks harder on your clit just as he curls his fingers just right and you see stars. Your grip on his hair tightened as your hips rocked against his face, his name on your lips like a prayer, riding out your high until it becomes too much and you’re pushing his head off of you.

He looks up at you with your jucies still running down his chin and fucking smiles.

“Sweetest pussy I’ve ever tasted.”

“Yeah? And have you tasted a lot of pussys, Mr. Munson?” You tease.

“I mean-“ Suddenly his face flushes red and that shy nervous boy from earlier was back “Not… that many, a few. I’m no lady killer or anything I mean you know this town is I-“

You grab his face in both of your hands and place a soft kiss on his lips.

“Honey, I was just teasing, I don’t care how many girls you’ve been with, I wouldn't even care if you hadn’t been with any.”

You smiled at him sweetly, pushing his bangs off his forehead and he smiled back, kissing you deeply. There was something so comforting about you to him, he felt like he could truly be himself with you and he’s not sure he’s felt that when he was with a woman ever.

You sit up and push him down by his shoulders, swinging your leg over to straddle him. Your underwear were still pushed to the side, your slick pussy lips were nestled on either side of his shaft as you slid back and forth on him with ease.

“I can’t wait to feel this pretty cock splitting me open.” You leaned forward and slid your fingers in the band of your underwear to take them off but Eddie’s hands came down on yours, stopping you.

“Can you keep them on?” His eyes were pleading, his lips pouty.

“Anything for you, sweet boy. You really like these huh?” You giggled.

“The whole cute pink panties and socks underneath the black leather thing is really doing it for me, if you couldn’t tell.” He bit his lip, running his hands down your sides before bringing them to your tits to squeeze them roughly.

You giggled as you rose up to your knees, taking him in your hand so you could line him up with your entrance and sink down on him slowly. Once your hips were flush against his you both moaned loudly.

“Fuck, so big, filling me up so good Eds.” You rocked back and forth slightly, just adjusting to the feeling of him so deep inside you. Once you felt adjusted you rose almost all the way off his cock before slamming back down on it causing him to jerk forward and moan out your name.

“Holy fuckin shit, your pussy is suckin me in so good holy fu-fuck, ridin me s-so good baby.” And you were, you were riding him like your life depended on it. “Bouncin on my cock just like those little bunnies on your panties, is that what you are? A lil bunny?”

That snapped something inside you, it was like he said the magic words and nothing else mattered in that moment besides riding his cock, being his little bunny.

You were on your heels now, using his shoulders for leverage as you bounced on his cock. Rotating and rolling your hips, the patch of curly brown hair at his base rubbing against your clit just right.

Eddie was in Heaven, he wanted to throw his head back and shut his eyes but he couldn’t tear them off of you. You were bouncing on his cock like a rabbit in heat. A layer of sweat glistened on your body, your hair a mess, there was a bit of drool dripping down your chin and your pussy was swallowing him hole over and over again, you were so wet he could see a milky white ring of your cum on his cock. He was going to cum soon but he absolutely needed you to before he did.

His grip on your hips tightened causing your movements to halt, but before you could even protest he was fucking up into you hard and fast.

“Oh fuuuuck yes, just like that baby, right fuckin there don’t fuckin stop I’m so close.” That’s all Eddie needed to hear, he brought one of his thumbs down to your slick clit and started rubbing fast circles on it while he continued to fuck up into you at a brutal pace.

“Shit, me too bunny, I’m gonna cum. Where do you want it?”

“Inside! Inside please Eddie I want you to fill me up.”

“Oh godddd” He let out a guttural groan, throwing his head back while he pumped his cum deep inside of you. The feeling sent you over the edge, coming undone on his cock while he continued to sloppily fuck you both through your highs.

You sighed, and exhaustedly let your body slump over Eddie’s while you both tried to catch your breath.

“Holy. Shit. That was… wow” he chuckled, running his hands up and down your back.

“Yeah, it really was.” You giggled as you rolled off of him, laying on your side next to him and resting your chin on his chest to look up at him. He was so pretty, his hair disheveled, his skin flushed and decorated in your nail marks, his lips swollen with your kisses. He smiled at you sweetly, shifting around so he could hold you better, he finally got a glimpse of your room.

He didn’t even really look at it when you walked it, he obviously noticed that you had a black open canopy on your four post bed but what he didn’t notice was the cute stuffed animals that were sitting by your black silk pillows, or the cool ass horror movie posters on the walls that contrasted that completely. You noticed him looking around, his eyes filled with awe, like he was genuinely interested in your world and it warmed your heart.

“I like your room, you really have this whole creepy cute thing down to a science don’t you?” He smiled at you, cradling your jaw in his hand and you leaned into it.

“Mhm, I guess I do.” You returned his smile with your own sleepy one, yawning. “You wanna stay the night? You don’t have to if you don’t want to but-“

“I want to.” Eddie cut you off, it was his turn to reassure you. You had seemed so sure of yourself all night but when it came down to if he was going to leave or not he could tell it made you nervous, like maybe people didn’t usually want to stay with you after and that broke him a little. Who wouldn’t want to stay with you? You’re perfect. To him at least. “I want to stay, and I want to take you to breakfast in the morning. I also would really like to take you on a proper date, if that’s something you’d want to do.”

Your heart swelled, because you did want that, more than he knew.

“I’d love that actually.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

You both giggled and kissed each other sweetly, whispering jokes and sweet nothings into each others ears until sleep peacefully took over.

[bellasprettywords]

Crappy day at the office (Spencer Reid x Reader)

a/n: This time I bring to you a little conforting one shot, as I had a really bad day at work and all I craved was some lasagna and cuddles

This is not proofread yet, srry, you guys

My masterlist

Warnings: Fluff, and this is kinda lame, I'm just tired and needed comfort

Word count: 962ish bc there are emojis

Being an Assistant District Attorney was all fun and games, until you had your ass handed to you in Court. Sometimes it felt like no matter how much work you put into a case, if the evidence is not completely convincing, and reasonable doubt just shatters the case you so much time and effort you had put in.

After the disaster at Court, the way back to the District Attorney’s Office was hell: there was a huge road block which caused a traffic jam that made you late for a meeting at with your boss; the printer wasn’t working properly, so you had to struggled when printing some files you needed for a deposition, and you still had at least six pending report for the day. Your head started spiraling, but your train of thought seemed interrupted when your boyfriend’s name popped on your phone screen:

“Hey Spence! What’s up?” you tried to answer as casually as you could

“How’s the most beautiful woman at the District Attorneys is doing?” Spencer said, and you could hear the smile that was forming into his lips as he was talking

“The day has been hectic, I don’t think I’ll be home early today; what about you? How’s San Francisco?” you asked hoping your boyfriend’s day at work would take your mind off from the crappy day you were having

“San Fran was great, I mean, it’s great, but actually, I should get back to work. Talk to you later?” Spencer said in kind of rush, which weirded you about a little, but you didn’t mind, at the end of the day, Spencer quirks were a huge part of what made you fall for him

“Alright then, I love you” you said with the hint of a smile curling up on your lips

“I love you too, honey” he said, blowing one last kiss before hanging up the call

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Finally, after a day that felt immensely long, you were finally pulling up into your apartment building, all you could think about was taking a long, hot shower, eating some takeout, and finishing the day watching reality tv to apace your mind. The way up to your apartment you were just eager to call your boyfriend, hoping this time he had more time to ramble about your crappy day, sure Spencer always tried to rationalize your problems with logical solutions, but you just needed to hear his voice to feel at ease.

You were clicking the key into your door, when suddenly, you realized there was a lovely smell coming from your apartment and with a huge grin, you opened the door to see your boyfriend, mighty Doctor Spencer Reid, struggling to take lasagna out from the oven without burning himself or making a mess.

“Hey… youuuuu” you said rushing to hug your boyfriend and you couldn’t help smiling from ear to ear

“How are you, beautiful?” Spencer hugged you back and you couldn’t help yourself to burry your face in the crock of his neck and take a deep breath, inhaling his scent of muck and coffee “I flew in here when I first called you, but I could tell something was wrong from your tone, so I wanted to do something nice for you”

“Damn it with the profiler abilities” you said, laughing playfully and merging into a sweet kiss

“What happened today? You sounded really odd?” Spencer’s voice was filled with concern, and you could see it building it up on his beautiful eyes

“Nothing, everything, it was one of those days, when everything just goes wrong” you started rambling about everything that went wrong through the day, and nothing filled your heart with more love, than seeing Spencer paying full attention to you, memorizing every detail and nodding empathetically sporadically. You rambled and rambled, while Spencer held you and caressed you, immediately making you feel better.

“… So, that’s enough rambling about me, and my tragic life, when I was coming into the apartment I saw a lasagna being taking out of the oven, so I’m guessing it’s for me?” you said trying to wrap it up, and eager to try your boyfriend’s cooking

“As a matter of fact, I did prepare a lasagna, and I’m excited for you to try it, so let’s sit down and have dinner” Spencer said excitedly, serving one generous plate of lasagna while you poured yourself a glass of wine “Here you go ma’am” he said placing the plate in front of you

“Thank you, very much!” you said placing a kiss into Spencer’s cheek; you watched him placing his plate and sitting down, and you couldn’t believe how lucky you had gotten with Spencer; he really was the whole package, he was crazy smart, sweet, considerate, and sometimes you felt that his only motivation was making you happy.

“What are you spiraling about?” Spencer said, taking you out of your train of thought

“Nothin’, I was just thinking how lucky I am to have such an amazing boyfriend” you said, grinning from ear to ear, ready to dig in on the lasagna; you watched as Spencer blushed and chuckled like a kid, so you said the magic words both you and your boyfriend loved the most to hear: “I love you”

“I love you even more, now dig in and tell me how amazing my lasagna is” Spencer said with a smug smile and you decided to comply, trying what was definitely one of the best lasagnas of your life, because of course, it was made by the man that you love

Sure, your day had been crappy at the office, but with a boyfriend as affectionate, caring and understandable as Spencer was, you knew even in your most difficult days, you’d be okay.

This is a little shorter than usual, and defenetly is over the place, but I just needed a little fluff for my night

[princema-k]

i would actually love to hear your thoughts on when layton would emote the ways you've drawn him! if you want! no pressure if not!

OH B OY HERE WE GO!!!!! again take everything with a grain of salt bc i Forgor bits of the series

BLANKET SPOILER FOR UNWOUND FUTURE/MIRACLE MASK MAYBE??/AZRAN LEGACY

(for reference we are talking abt this post)

SURPRISE: As we know in the PL series, it's very very hard to catch the professor off-guard in any way. Most of the things you would think would surprise him, he's already known for a long time and was just keeping quiet about it so that he could use that information at the right time.

With that being said, the times where he does seem to get somewhat surprised (or taken aback. he's so goddamn emotionally constipated) seem to be when the shocker in question has personal relation to him. Though in the series proper, none of the shocking personal factoids are ever presented in a way to make him jump. So theoretically, if any twists like Claire or Descole's reveal were presented much more aggressively, he might emote like how I've drawn him (though I kinda doubt it). Or just jumpscare him lmao

SADNESS: Obviously we know that Layton can feel sadness and cry, though even at the end of Unwound Future it's clear that he's still holding back with his crying. I'd wager that it's because he's out in public and around an impressionable individual (Luke) that he's not letting himself fully express his grief. After all, a true gentleman never makes a scene in public.

I'd say, if he were to cry like the way I've drawn him (that is, bawling his eyes out), it'd probably be at the end of UF when Luke leaves for America, and he'd have to be alone. And I mean completely alone. He'd be very careful about having anyone even remotely near him before he breaks down sobbing; he'd wait for Luke to go home, and wait a while to make sure that he hears no other footsteps around who could potentially walk in on him, before crying. And even then, he'd still repress it - trying to choke back sobs to make sure he isn't heard, pulling the brim of his hat over his eyes and covering his eyes with his hand, the works. Because sadness/crying is weakness to him, and a true gentleman can never show weakness.

ANGER: Frankly, I feel like this is one of the emotions I've drawn that I actually could see him showing in the series proper. We've seen him in Unwound Future just barely holding back his anger at Clive when he endangered Flora/started wrecking havoc on London (obviously still restrained- yadda yadda yadda "true gentleman" blah blah blah).

To get him to unrestrain it, I'd say you would have to put a lot of people he cares about (particularly his wards - Luke and Flora would likely be excellent choices) in direct danger, as well as taunt him to a personal degree enough times. Because even the Professor has limits to how much mental strain he can take, and all limits can be broken. It's just a matter of pushing the right (or wrong!) buttons on him.

FEAR: This one's tough I think. As an adult who's seen a lot (including his own death), it's pretty hard to find something that would really scare him to that degree. Throughout the series the most he seems to show in terms of fear is either: a) surprise that he quickly recovers from, or b) the end of Unwound Future when he realizes that Claire can't stay with him.

I say that theoretically (and REALLY emphasize on the "theoretically"), you might be able to get him to emote the way I've drawn him... if you subject him to anything akin to his recently unrepressed memories of his childhood, and he's rendered helpless to do anything to help but watch. But like I said, only theoretically. I'd wager that he'd probably just be angry too.

LAUGHTER: ...I honestly have no good clue to how or when he'd emote like this. For him to laugh so heartily, he'd have to be in a state of extreme emotional vulnerability, which isn't often.

I'd say it'd be at a time where he's feeling very relieved, or elated (and they'd both have to be situations that connect to him personally too; outside events won't phase him). How he'd laugh to such an extent I'm not actually sure, BUT I could paint a bit of a scenario: It's the end of UF, but Claire could actually stay without dying, and she makes a sort of lighthearted joke in light of the events. Would he laugh wholeheartedly? I dunno. But judging on what we've seen of him, it's a maybe.

It's a shame we never get to see him emote so colourfully in the hexalogy proper, but as I've stated before in another long-winded half-legible ramble character analysis, he's SEVERELY repressing his emotions due to Claire's last words/"gentleman" values/positive reinforcements from his peers and environments for successfully hiding his emotions. Poor guy.

[lotusmi]

𝙎𝙐𝙋𝙀𝙍𝙉𝙊𝙑𝘼💥ABNORMALLY VOID concept! ✴ 2M

HII MY LOVELY ONES 😈today's sub is fire! 🥵 Are you ready?!!!!!!!

⋆｡°✩ explaining the sub:

★ This sub include all my previous subliminals beneficts! ★ Some of the new beneficts are:

enter with eyes opes ("just as @uniquelymeandmyworld2 did"), stop putting that in pedestral and take easy.... enter even if you not listening to the sub... enter out of the blue as a subconcious 🎁... feel like you have mastered the void and know you are that b... enter while watching some movies or even while u pee... get to have a totally new mindset which makes u feel like u was dumb not to think this easy... persist knowing you get what u want like Abdullah with brazen imprudence... never let time/space/circumstaces let u down bcs they mean nothing... not be lazy like me and turn side and sleep put to persist... stop asking the how but just do it and that's it... get an abnornally insight on how to tap... be not afraid... be not anxious... your mind is saturated that you always enter easily effortlessly ... you not a victim but the one who has self confidence... nothing in world not even putin can stop you entering, everything works for you to enter... when u set the intention you are guaranteed to enter... all methods work for u... you are amazed by how now u are aware of your power... and if u sleep than u enter no matter what... u know that eiypo so if others got their success you can do it too... your 3d is your dream life bcs u assumed it is even while u was manifesting tap into void... you don't need motivation since you are the motivation itself... you always manifest instantly... you don't waver but sticked to the new state of being a void master... your thoughts naturally comes from a state of being a void master...  'Tap into void instantly by affirming once "I am Void". Without relaxing body and mind, without laying down, without doing anything '(voiddestinyanon) 'Be aware that you are in the void when you are in the void' (kokioumalmao)

'Be able to easy ignore the symptoms and let yourself fall into the void' (babushkastyle) Not needing to relax to tap into the void state instantly, not needing to be “laying down” or “being completely still” to tap into the void state instantly, tapping into the void state even without listening to the void state subliminal, and tapping into the void state randomly out of the blue when you least expect it +  be able to tap into it on command instantly, be able to tap into it with your eyes open, be able to tap into it even if you are in a loud area, be able to tap into it even if you have doubts or a negative mindset, be able to tap into it just by saying “void” 3 times no matter where you are, the time, or what you are doing instantly, and be able to tap into the void instantly even if you’re being active like being in class or dancing (anon) ‘wake up in void no matter what ur mindset and beliefs are’   (6ixofme)

+ ALL THAT YOU WANT ABOUT A VOID MINDSET/CONCEPT YOU HAVE RIGHT NOW.

+ You ARE GUARANTEED TO ENTER BY ANY METHOD OR CHALLENGE YOU DO. + THIS GIVES YOU EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT THE MOST ABOUT VOID CONCEPT/MINDSET. YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO BELIEVE IT.

+ ALL affs from the previous ULTIMATE 10K void sub. + MORE I DON'T REMEMER RN LMAO.

✮ WHAT MORE IS INCLUDED? 💣

⋆ Isochronic tones ⋆ Morphic Fields ✩ what is morphic field? "A Morphic field is an energy field that defines the entire biology of all living beings. It provides a force field that guides the development and behvaiour of an organism as it grows." ✦ I don't know how to explain it better, but this will turn the affirmations in energy, so it's like turning a "mental state" in "energy". The state of waking up in the void always and mastered it will take form energetically and it transcends space and time. ⋆ 2.080.000+ AFFIRMATIONS FROM MY PREVIOUS AFFTAPES (i put this x 3) ⋆ AGESTA CODES (yes, repeated 45 each one) ✩ what is agesta codes?

I am kinda lazy to quote the full explanation but the numbers have energy and this codes are channeled sacred codes that implies the energy of their topics. I included those:

I am not worried anymore 215633 I am pround of myself 2710 I always persist 500 I have a lot of patience 629 I am optimistic 817 My life is full of divine trasures 3396815 I got a lot of new opportunites 1111 I always am in control of my mind 85 I am having positive emotions right now 578 I am safe 19 I am happy 9 I am happy 1021 👁‍🗨post about agesta codes soon.

⋆｡°✩ frequently asked questions! ⋆ "Are earphones needed?" Not for this one. ⋆ "How many times I listen?" This is super layered and repeated but you can listen as many times you want but if your head explode is not my fault.

⋆ "Can I sleep with this one?" If you want to sleep with rihanna instrumental 🤷+ if u get headaches don't blame me.

⋆ "Are you doing calm/long version soon?" Yes I AM.

⋆ "It has shifting affs?" No. ⋆ "It has god related affs?" Yea.

⋆ "How I get results?" Listen to it. (Don't assume against it)

💬I feel so happy when you send me asks about your progress and success so please send me them lol.

~nothing can stop you entering in the void anymore, stick this to your mind my darling. 💓

[zayray030]

🐝 anon

I was trying to do something cute but once again it turned to angst lmao. I love me some hurt/comfort. I think I sent this last year? But I’m pretty sure tumblr ate my ask so lemme rewrite it all out

So like treyace early stages yknow, they’re all cute and gross and everything is great until ace starts doubting how trey feels about him. This is before they’re together but they obviously like each other and they’re flirting alllll the time but whenever it seems like more is gonna happen between the two someone needs help for whatever reason and Trey drops everything to go help. (For extra angst and a splash of jealousy I’m gonna say riddle is the one that needs things a lot). So like ace tries to get one on one time alone w Trey but he keeps dipping and ace just withdraws bc he’s so upset

I think a lot of the hurt would be ace feeling like he’s second place all the time like, his parents didn’t exactly play favorites but his older brother always seemed like the gold standard and more well liked. He feels like his friends kinda like each other more than him and he’s the after thought of the group. All his upperclassmen have their faves and he feels he’s not one of them. So when Trey starts paying attention to him more he feels like he finally has a person that puts him first and that there’s someone who values him for the first time. Which is why it hurts so much when he feels like he’s playing second fiddle once again.

So Trey notices that ace is suddenly cold and tries to ask what’s wrong but ace isn’t great and admitting his feelings and kinda shrugs him off. I think the firsties start to notice he’s sad and colder so they try and figure out what’s wrong and there’s big emotional admissions and the firsties promise to try and make ace feel like he’s not the 3rd wheel to them all and they help him with telling Trey how he’s feeling.

So then there’s another big emotional display and Trey realizes that he’s still kind of a yes man and tries to be better while ace works on being more open emotionally and the firsties regret helping bc now ace and Trey are going to be cute and gross all the time lol

Oh I do remember this ask! I just kept on second doubting myself and not knowing how to answer thos properly but by god the extra addition?????? 👏👏👏👏👏

Ace feeling like second best is kinda what inspired me to write the one fic where the senpai just started to PRAISE him and I can kind of imagine this happening in a different scenario except the first years don't go to all the senpai they just go to trey since he's the boyfriend and they all try and basically try to get Ace to open up more

I can imagine Ace overlooking a lot of things at the start of the relationship because he's too bust focusing on the fact that he know has someone where they believe he's special and good enough but then he starts to see Riddle as competition and it destroys the good feelings he had

OH THE PRE-RELATIONSHIP ANGST????? Ace just constantly getting annoyed and thinking that things will change when he and Trey finally get together

OH, TREY NOTICING???? HE is EMBARASSED when he realises that Ace realises that he thinks he's second best to anyone in this school, including Riddle, and is trying to hard to prove it but every time he tries he's confronted with the fact that Ace is right

OH THE BREAKDOWN WITH THE FIRST YEARS????? I JUST KNOW IT HURT!!! ACCUSATIONS!! YELLING!!! INSULTS!!! TEARS!!!! OH my god by the end of it they're all puffy and red and all massaging ice onto their face to help with the swelling whilst still sniffling

From then on they make a group calender where they make sure that there is a group activity between a pair or a trio of the group where they are hanging out. Ace-deuce. Epel-jack. Ortho-ace. Jack-sebek-epel. Something like that so that they're all hanging out and they have a day where they're all together and they sit and talk no matter how humiliating it is

Trey deciding that the best way to truly show Ace that he is serious is by making it public. He stands in front of the cafeteria and loudly declares he can not be bothered to help anyone and he will in fact be focusing on himself and his relationship and Ace for the foreseeable future. He then smiles, princess carries Ace, and walks out to ravish him with attention 🩷

The first years are now forced to hear Ace gush giddily about Trey forever more but at least they get free dessert out of it

[cloudlessly-light]

Hii it's Anon again!

Yessssss I loved that fic bc of Em being in foreign territory and who can deny Hotch's dom energy in CM fr! I absolutely love reading fics playing with that side of him 😍💞

I'd love if you wrote another one where the story is more detailed about how Em starts daydreaming at work, having fantasies after Hotch raises his voice against a suspect/roughs them up physically with ease or disciplines the team like when Reid was about to insult someone at the phone and Hotch just stopped him just calling his name LOL (tbf there are a lot of CM moments where fans are like 'wow I'd love him to grab me like that/talk to me like that' that could be fun to insert these moments 😂)

But yeah, mostly abt Em being confused at her body's reaction and realising it is a very slippery slope she's on, with (the team and) Hotch thinking Em is just distracted until he realises she squirms or disappears after he behaves a certain way verbally or physically etc...

Cherry on top if you figure out a way to conclude that with smut, I wouldn't personally know how to write Hotch confronting her abt it since I imagined that mostly from Em's pov 😂

Anyway, that's my idea of it, I'm happy to know that you like writing this dynamic and I will be happy with ANYTHING you will write about dom Hotch in the end so no pressure, I'm excited for any idea you will work on 😁🩷

A/N: Hi Anon! I hope this is somewhat what you had in mind, it got way longer than I initially thought lol.

Title: To give to you Summary: Emily had never imagined fantasizing about her boss, had always thought she was a top. But then she joins the BAU and meets Aaron Hotchner and everything changes. Word count: 4,7k Rating: Explicit Warnings: Smut, oral, overstimulation, dom Aaron (kinda, it got softer than I thought) bisexual Emily Prentiss, switch Emily Prentiss, sub Emily, mentions of stabbing, mentions of restraints and paddles

Emily had known that she was bisexual early in life, realized quickly that she clearly had a preference for women. For a long time she only dated women, women were kind, smart, gorgeous, stunning beings and she absolutely relished in taking them apart. She spent her late teens and early 20’s exploring her sexuality and preferences. It was easy to figure out that she loved to be in control, loved to bring her partner to their knees, no matter what gender that was.

But there was no doubt that if she were to chose between a man and a woman, she always preferred a woman. There was something about hearing the gentle moan of her name, of feeling soft skin under the palm of her hands. She loved bringing them pleasure and sometimes that pleasure came with a side of pain.

Then she starts working at the BAU, a dream she’d had since joining the FBI. It doesn’t take long for her to throw herself into work all the while ignoring the fact that she barely has time to do anything else. She proves herself fast, knows that she’s impressing the team without really trying as they find out small pieces of her past, and her skills.

It sucks that Aaron Hotchner is one of the last to notice.

Her boss was an enigma to her, quickly stirring up feelings she shouldn’t feel towards her boss. The first time it happened she had tried to ignore it, tried to pretend that the feeling she felt and the flush when he raised his voice towards and unsub was because the interrogation room was stifling. It wasn’t him, it couldn’t be him.

It’s harder to ignore the second time it happens. He was frustrated, the case going awry quickly and Emily watched him instill fear in the entire police precinct as they were working with one single word, voice raised to be heard over the chatter. The tension on his face and the darkness of his eyes was enough to make goosebumps rise on her arms.

And she crashes into the realization that it was, in fact, him.

Then a year had gone by and Emily finds herself daydreaming about him at the most inappropriate times. It’s not like she hasn’t tried to stop, she’s gone out and found both men and women to take home during her time at the BAU. She has relished the feeling of power as she wrought pleasure from strangers in the dark. But then she goes to work the next day and for reasons unbeknown to her she can’t stop thinking about him. She’s smart enough to know that it isn’t just physical, that she felt more for him but just want, but she always forced those thoughts away.

“Prentiss?” Aaron interrupts her train of thought as she sits by her desk, seemingly lost in her own world.

“Yeah?” She looks up at him and bites her lip for a moment. Her cheeks heated from his stare as she realized she was caught zoning out. “Sorry, what do you need?” They were working from Quantico, helping out on a local case.

“They’re bringing in a suspect, I want you in there with me for questioning.” He gives her another pointed look, like he’s seeing into her mind and she has to force herself not to fidget in her seat.

“Of course.” She offers a smile that she hopes comes off as confident and he walks back into his office. Get it together Emily.

She misses the way his eyes linger on her from his office window.

*

She really doesn’t understand why she reacts the way she does to him. She had been around people trying to control her her entire life, had always hated it. It shouldn’t be different with Aaron. But it is.

She thinks it’s because he’s in control in a way that’s effortless, that he demands respect because he knows he’s earned it. And most importantly, she trusts him in a way she doesn’t really trust anyone. She loves him.

But that doesn’t stop her confusion. It doesn’t stop her brain from fantasizing about how his large hands would feel pinning her down and taking her. She could stand in a room full of people and one look from him made heat flame in her veins. She didn’t understand it, she didn’t want to feel the things she did. But she couldn’t stop it.

*

“Where is she?!” Aaron’s voice was raised, his anger palpable as Emily sat across from the slime of a human they were currently trying to get a confession out of.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The unsub, a frail man, skittish in his behavior whimpered and Emily could feel distain as she looked at him.

It’s the slam of Aaron’s hand against the metal table that makes the unsub jump and Emily clench her legs together under the table that gets them their confession.

As the unsub is being led out in handcuffs Emily remains seated at the table, trying to control her body’s reaction as Aaron starts to pack up the pictures and papers to be sorted into boxes later.

“Are you alright?” He asks and her eyes snap to his, wide and dark and she swallows.

“I’m good.” She nodded and stands too. Her hands tremble as she starts to help him pack up, hoping that he doesn’t notice the way her pulse beats wildly, or the flush on her cheeks. But he’s Aaron and he notices everything. His hand is searing as he wraps it around her wrist and Emily has to force herself not to let out a soft moan as she wonders what it would feel like if he grabbed her throat like that.

“Prentiss?” His voice is smooth as he looked at her with something she’d only call concern and something else.

“I’m alright, I think I’m just a little tired today.” She mumbles and pulls her arm out of his grasp. “I’m good, Hotch.”

If he didn’t believe her, he didn’t say anything.

*

It’s been a few months since they interrogated that unsub, had been months since his hand had wrapped around her wrist but she could still feel it, like the palm of his hand had branded her. She’s having more trouble now, because he’s divorced and it’s one obstacle that kept her away from him that’s gone.

They’re in California working a case and it’s hot to the point of unbearable outside. It has caused even Aaron to remove his jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and Emily has to keep herself from staring at the muscle of his arms, from reaching out to drag a nail over the dark hair covering them. When his fingers flex and the muscle jumps with the movement she has to look away, cause all she can think about is how that muscle would tense if he was hovering above her.

“I think the unsub focuses on prostitutes because that’s what available to him.” Spencer’s voice forces her to focus. She feels ashamed for fantasizing about Aaron when women were literally being stabbed in the streets.

“We could force him out of the shadows, try and taunt him? He’s clearly a narcissist.” Derek adds and Aaron who’s remained standing as the rest of them are gathered around a table nods.

“Let’s do it. We can do a press conference.” He decides and looks at Emily, their eyes meeting. “You should do it, a woman would provoke him. Force his hand.”

“Of course.” She nods and she sees JJ doing the same in her peripheral, already getting ready to set up for the press conference.

“Did you bring a dress?” Derek asks and Emily turns to him. She knew why he asked, knew that if she was dressed bordering on inappropriately on camera that the unsub would feel like he didn’t have a choice except to reach out to them.

“I’ll run out and buy one.”

So that’s how she finds herself wearing a black dress that’s just bordering on too much cleavage, the fabric just a little too tight, her jacket over her shoulders that she removes just before she gets up on the podium. It goes by in a blur, she answers questions, goes through the main points that they knew would trigger the unsub, makes eye contact with the camera and gives a flirty smile. She plays her role well and when they’re done Aaron is ushering her out of the room, his hand grazing her back.

“You did well.” He tells her quietly when they stop so she can put her jacket back on, feeling too exposed. When she looks up at him, he’s looking at her with something dark, something different and she offers him a smile.

“Not the first time I’ve done that, won’t be the last.” She shrugs and they walk again, heading to the conference room they’ve spent the majority of the week in.

“You were great!” Derek grins and she rolls her eyes. “If he saw it he’ll call in anytime now.”

Like clockwork, the phone goes off and Aaron nods for her to answer it.

“Supervisory special agent Emily Prentiss speaking.”

During the duration of the phone call she can feel Aaron behind her, eyes zeroed in on her. When the call ends she turns to him and she’s sure she can see the flicker of want in his eyes. But it is probably her own imagination. It had to be.

*

After California she starts to struggle even more. She couldn’t get that look on his face out of her mind, dreamt about it at night, hoped to see it during the day.

She still goes out, still takes great pleasure in finding a partner for the night to take them over the edge over and over again until all that they can do is plead her name. Emily loved control, that hadn’t changed. And then she comes to work and one of the first things that happen one morning is Spencer, arguing with Aaron about something she doesn’t really catch. She walks into the conference room with JJ just as Aaron raises his voice just slightly.

“Reid, that is enough!”

“But I-”

“Reid.”

It’s one word and Emily feels the dull ache of arousal instantly. The tone of voice firm and she almost stumbles back. She’s not sure what happens after that, excuses herself quickly and heads to the bathroom where she stays leaning over a sink and watches her own reflection.

He’s your boss. He’s off limits. You’re not supposed to feel like this. The team would never forgive you.

She tries to think of every reason why she needs to stay away from him. Rinses cold water on a paper towel to press against her heated skin. When she emerges back into the bullpen Aaron is watching her curiously, a small smirk playing on his lips.

*

“Emily?”

His voice is quiet as he stands behind her. He doesn’t touch her but she can feel the heat of his body behind her.

They’re out, a team dinner ending up in a busy bar. She was standing outside, had needed some air, had needed to get away from the group, needed to clear her head. Aaron had just told off a man at the bar as he tried to flirt with JJ and his posture alone intimidating enough for the man to scurry off, and she knew that she needed a moment alone. She hadn’t realized that he had followed her, still didn’t turn around at the sound of her name.

“Yes?” She stares straight ahead and his heavy hand falls to her shoulder, making her inhale sharply as he turns her to face him. He’s looking at her with those damn eyes, dark and alluring and she swallows. “What?” She finally asks after he’s remained quiet.

“What did I do this time?” The amused tone caused her eyebrows to knit together.

“What do you mean?” She thinks she should back away, should move enough for his hand to fall to his side. But she doesn’t.

“You don’t think that I’ve noticed?” His head falls slightly to the side as he smiles at her, a confident leer that makes her cheeks flush. He takes a small step closer to her.

“Noticed what?” She stays put, tries to exude the same confidence that he does but her body betrays her, so does her mind and she feels herself cowering slightly.

“You’re not dumb, don’t pretend to be.” His voice is firm as his hand moves from her shoulder to gently grasp her chin. When he angles her face up to look at him she lets out a shaky breath. “What did I do to make you run away and hide this time?”

She stares up at him, the tension thick between them as she tries to think of all the reasons why she should walk away. She racks her brain but it’s empty, empty on anything besides how much she wants him. How much she needs him.

“You scared off that drunk with two words and a look. I liked that.” She finally admits, almost two years of yearning coming down to this.

He hums, tone dripping of satisfaction as he moves even closer, turns her until her back is pressed against the cold concrete wall and he presses his body against hers.

“You like when I’m assertive, don’t you?”

“Yes.” She breathes quietly and something flashes across his face, something she wants to see again.

“And what are we going to do about that?”

She should have realized that he knew, that he’s probably known exactly what she’s been thinking and feeling from the start. The amusement on his face almost taunting, his smirk teasing.

“I don’t know.” She whispers and she feels her breath mixing with his as he leans down, lips so close to hers. “I’ve never felt like this before.”

“And what do you feel, Emily?” His hands move to her waist and hers lands to his upper arms, lost in him.

“Like you’d take me apart and make me lose the control I’ve always craved. And that I’d enjoy it.”

“Hmm…” His grin turns dark, his body presses harder against hers. “That’s right. You’ve done a good job hiding it. And I’ve done a damn good job to pretend that I don’t want the exact same thing.” His thigh pushes between hers and she gasps. “But I think I’m done pretending. Are you?”

“Yes.”

*

She ends up in his car as he drives them to his apartment. It’s quiet, so quiet as the tension between them gets thicker, her heart beating wildly in her chest.

“I’ve wondered what you taste like since you first showed up in my office.” He says out of nowhere, eyes on the road and his face close to indifferent. But she catches the way he’s holding the steering wheel a little tighter, the slight clenching of his jaw.

“Who says you will get to know that now?” She challenges and he turns to look at her as they stop at a red light. His hand is heavy, fingers gripping when he grasps her thigh.

“Because we both know that the moment I have you in my bed that you’re giving yourself completely to me.” He gives her a knowing stare then let’s go of her thigh only to grab the back of her neck. He doesn’t squeeze, just holds it there and she licks her suddenly dry lips. “Because we both know how good you want to be for me, Emily.”

She’s pretty sure her underwear is already ruined and he hadn’t even kissed her yet.

He doesn’t let go of her until she nods mutely, smiles when she draws a shaky breath as he starts to drive again.

The rest of the drive goes by in a haze and when Emily walks in ahead of him into his apartment she can barely focus on anything else but him behind her. The lock clicks into place and then he’s pressed against her, slowly pushing her hair to the side.

“I’m going to ruin you.” He whispers and she shivers. “Tell me, when you’ve had your little fantasies at work, what do you think about?” His lips are heated as he kisses gently along her neck, down her shoulder.

“I-I fuck,” She couldn’t think straight, her fingers flexing with the need to touch him, but his hand stayed firm on her hips, keeping her planted. “I thought about you in every way I shouldn’t.” She finally says and he snickers against her skin.

“That’s not really an answer.” He turns her suddenly, the only reason why she doesn’t fall is his hands holding on to her the moment they’re face to face. “But I’ll let it go, for now.”

“Hotch-”

“No, I’m Aaron, in here I’m Aaron.” He interrupts her and she smiles.

“Aaron,” She corrects herself and lets one hand move to gently cradle his neck. “kiss me.”

It’s softer than she imagined it to be, his lips careful as he tastes her for the first time. His touch turns gentle for a moment, warm fingers stroking under her top as his tongue licks over her bottom lip, until she opens her mouth to him. She’s barely aware that he’s moving her through the apartment until her back ends up pressed against a wall and they break apart, breath slightly labored as they look at each other.

He raises an eyebrow, a wordless question that she nods into and it’s like flipping a switch. He kisses her again, this time harder, hands gripping at her as he moves her towards his bedroom. Her clothes land in piles across the floor, her own hands tearing at his. Then he pushes her down onto the bed, grinning when something resembling a yelp leaves her.

“You’re so pretty.” His voice is darker than she’s ever heard it, his eyes close to wild as he looks at her like she’s pray and he’s starving. The bed dips as he climbs after her, rips her underwear off her hips leaving her completely naked.

“You ruined them.” She mutters between kisses and he pushes her back enough to undo the last few buttons on his shirt.

“Sweetheart, they were already ruined.” He throws his shirt away and hovers above her. “Do you really think I can’t smell how ready you are for me already?”

The flush on her skin only increases and she looks away in embarrassment but he’s quick to guide her face towards his again.

“Don’t look away, don’t you think I love knowing how much you like it, how much you want me.” His forehead falls against hers for a moment. “You’re going to come until you can’t remember your own name.” She knows it’s a promise.

He swallows down her whimper with another kiss, then moves down her body. She knows her skin will be littered by bruises and hickeys, his mouth hot and wet on her skin until he’s between her legs and licking through her. She falls back against the bed with a strangled moan and he quickly wraps his legs around her thighs, keeping her still.

The groan that rumbles in his chest vibrates against her as he dips his tongue inside of her, pushes it as deep as possible and she gasps. Her hand grips his hair and he pulls back from her with a raised eyebrow.

“None of that.” He takes her wrist in his hand and pins it to the bed. “Unless you need to be tied up.” His eyes glint and she releases a breathless chuckle.

“Maybe next time.” At the mentioning of this happening again he grins widely and nods.

“Good girl.” He lays back down and sucks her clit before she truly has chance to process the way her body responds to his words. It’s the first time she’s been called a good girl, and she feels her body throb with the need to hear it again.

Aaron makes her fall apart in no time at all, has her screaming her pleasure into her own hand to keep the neighbors from hearing and he doesn’t stop. His eyes flicker up to watch as her body trembles, keeps his arms tightly around her thighs as he licks over her clit with the flat of his tongue.

“Oh my God…” She gasps as he continues to eat her out like a man starving. Her hands grip his headboard to keep from gripping at him. He makes a sound against her, whispers filth against her clit until she’s straining and moaning.

She comes for the second time with his name on her lips, breathless and low as her hips buckles against his face. His tongue is sure as he laps through her, lips wrapped around her clit until she’s oversensitive and tries to get away from the stimulation.

“Do not fucking move.” He warns, and she cries out as she stops squirming. “I’m not done.” He licks through her one final time before moving up her body. When he’s hovering above her she sees his face wet from her and that same wild look in his eye. He pins her hands above her head and then pushes two fingers inside of her quickly, thrusting them inside as his palm press against her clit.

“Fuck, Aaron-”

“I said, I’m not done. So that means that you’re not done.” He cuts her off, the firm tone making her shiver. “You love it, you’re clenching my fingers just from the sound of my voice.” He leers and she clenches around his fingers making him snicker as she proves his point.

She doesn’t get to respond, even if she could have thought of some snide remark, his lips were on hers, forcing the taste of herself onto her tongue as he continued to curl his fingers and grind the palm of his hand against her clit. Emily had never been the type to be able have multiple orgasms, but it somehow doesn’t surprise her that he drags a third orgasm out of her in only minutes. She bites down on his shoulder as her body trembles under his, his low words of encouragements the only thing she could hear through the ringing in her ears.

He watches her the entire time, want reflected in his eyes as he waits a moment for her to relax before moving his fingers again. Her arms jerk but his grip only tightens.

“Again.” He grunts and she whines through harsh breaths, the pleasure making her mind hazy. His fingers press against her spot, massages it with precise movements as he kisses along her jaw and neck, swallows down her moans until she’s grinding into his hand again.

“That’s it.” He whispers as her pussy clamps down on his fingers. She comes with a desperate moan, hands fisting above her head as her back arches and her eyes shut tightly. He continues until her muscles start to relax and she slumps, body sweaty and chest heaving when she comes down and Aaron carefully withdraws his fingers. He kneels between her spread legs, eyes on hers as he licks her of his fingers with a low groan.

“You look even prettier than I imagined when you come.” He mutters as he works on getting his pants and boxers off. He catches the way her eyes zeroes in on his cock. His fist wraps around it, pumps it slowly and Emily licks her bottom lip. “You want it?”

“Please.” She gasps, the word out without her even realizing. His eyes flash as she unknowingly begs for him and he fists his shaft harder.

“Maybe next time.” He growls, mimicking her earlier words as he crawls over her body again. Her legs wrap around his hips and he doesn’t waste any more time before pushing inside of her with a smooth thrust.

“You’re huge.” She knows her nails are breaking the skin of his arms as she grips him. He keeps still, gives her a moment to adjust as he grunts his own pleasure into her neck.

“I know, you’re taking me so well.” He pulls back slowly and she moans lowly. “My good girl.” He nips at her neck, licks over her fluttering pulse and she whimpers.

“Please, please fuck me.” She mumbles and he responds to the breathless plea immediately. He starts to fuck her the way she’s been dreaming of, pushes against her hard enough for her body to jolt, fucks her like no one has ever done before and Emily can’t believe how much she loves it.

It’s hard and rough and she knows that his fingers are leaving bruises on the outside of her thigh as he grabs her leg, can hear his pleasure being muttered against her skin as his forehead leans on her shoulder.

“Come for me again.” He grunts when she starts to tighten around him, his tone smug as he looks down at her blissed out face.

She comes so hard she’s afraid she’ll pass out, her body tensing and the corners of her eyes blackening out. But Aaron is right there, guiding her through it, slowing his movements and whispering her name until her eyelids flutter open to look at him with hazy eyes.

“There’s my girl.” He smiles softly. “Do you need a break?”

“No, fuck no.” She presses a kiss to his lips. “I’m good, I’m so so good.” She chuckles and he grins then turns her body around and pulls her onto her hands and knees.

When he pushes inside of her it’s almost with enough force to push her forward, but he’s quick to grip her hair in his fist, pulling her back and making her back arch.

“Beg for me again.” He growls and she mewls.

“Please fuck me, please don’t stop.”

And he doesn’t, he makes her fall apart two more times, every muscle in her body aching as she falls flat on the bed and he’s quick to follow her. He bites down on the back of her shoulder, his hips stuttering as he gets close to his own release.

“Where?” He grunts and Emily whines loudly.

“Inside.” She hears his growl, feels his hips snapping against hers and then he’s coming.

“Fuck, Emily.” It’s barely a grunt, the sound of her name breathless as he gives in to his own pleasure, hips jerking against hers. He gives himself a few seconds to catch his breath and then rolls off her, body covered in sweat as he waits for the feeling to return in his extremities. He looks at her, sees the flush on her cheeks and how she’s still quivering slightly. “Are you okay?”

“I might not be able to use my legs for a few hours.” She quips and he laughs and then pulls her into him. He presses a kiss to her forehead and then her lips.

“So,” He starts and brushes some hair behind her ear. “was it what you imagined?”

“To be honest, you were kind of soft.” She laughs when he pinches her side warningly.

“Brat.” He mutters and she hums happily. “Just you wait, sweet girl. There’s a paddle with your name on it in the closet if you aren’t careful.”

She laughs again but the goosebumps on her arms are hard to ignore and she knows he sees them and only gives her a knowing look, but doesn’t say anything. The room goes quiet for a moment and the next time she speaks it’s a little more careful, her eyes flitting over his face as she bites on her bottom lip.

“Are we doing this? Really?”

“Emily I’ve wanted this for so long. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t sure about this, us.” He smiles softly and she feels something warm in her chest.

“I wouldn’t either.”

[crownedwille]

ngl im kinda confused on why people support crown wille so much. i’m open to the idea, but i’ve always read him the same way since ep1. he was miserable from the beginning of the show (before he even met simon) up until the end. everything about the monarchy affected him in a negative way. wille and simon could not have existed as a couple if wille didn’t step down (and i feel this is something i feel they’ve expressed since s1.) ntm that there is no such thing as a good monarch and wille has never wanted to be in that role. wille is not a PUBLIC person. and nether is simon.

i’m not sure why some ppl think the fall of their relationship came out of nowhere; different problems can always arise, especially with teenagers. maybe some more explaining would help me understand, but at this point i think crown wille was such a stretch to root for.

i’d also like to add that s1 and s2 more likely had open endings to leave as cliffhangers, while s3 is the conclusion of the story. obviously, it’s not to say that everything is figured out, but that everything will be okay.

oh boy, you really want me to get into this again, here we go

he was miserable from the beginning - yeah, imagine me wanting him to have actual development and have a different mindset in the end. you don't start off your protagonist with the same mindset and that never changes, that is not proper satisfying storytelling imo. and it seems like i do have to remind people every time but if wille steps down he will still be a prince, just the second in line and no longer the heir - which is exactly who he was in the beginning. so yeah actually nothing has changed. and there was already attention and pressure on him and he still had duties and i honestly do wonder what was so different about being crown prince bc they never actually showed us.

so he will never really 'escape' the monarchy, he still is part of the royal family, his mother is the queen and he ABSOLUTELY will be a public person his entire life. and simon by association too. a fucking sex tape came out with them and wille came out to the world as queer, there is no way that people won't care anymore about it just bc wille wouldn't be crown prince anymore in a year. and as if him renouncing wouldn't make any headlines and be a huge deal and simon and wilhelm wouldn't have to deal with the aftermath and consequences of that (if they're still together at that point which i have my doubts)

there will always be attention on wille and that is something that should be obvious and i don't understand why the fandom is choosing to be so naive and blissfully ignorant about this. no, i do know, bc the show is framing it like that and wanting people to think that and stay naive and blissfully ignorant to all these facts

and i love hearing how my interpretation was wrong from the start and of course you were right all along. how dare i had hope and thought the point of killing off erik and making wille the crown prince is bc he would do things differently and bring changes and "start a revolution" bc that is totally not what the show has been about before abandoning it and taking the easy way out and not wanting to deal with what that would really entail. how dare i saw wille question traditions at hillerska and him making a public speech addressing that as him stepping into his role as crown prince and show signs of a great, competent "leader" before they also abandoned that and made sure none of that mattered and erased his growth in s3. how dare i thought wille and simon both wanted changes to the monarchy instead of letting it stay exactly how it is and giving it over to a person who has done fucked up things to them and likes the system as it is

if that and the stuff you're saying was the message the entire time i find it really sad tbh and i call bullshit on it. i definitely don't see how everything will be okay now with none of simon's or wille's mental health issues addressed and implied they're actually working on it but yeah of course they escaped the ~evil~ monarchy now and it was all its fault they didn't work out and now they're completely fine and all their problems have vanished, how could i forget

[hyuckswoman]

My love!!

Take some time away if you need, it's okay to feel discouraged, but remember, we love your work, fics, writing, and rambles. We love it all!! Unfortunately, that's the problem with tumblr sometimes lack of engagement can be discouraging, but it doesn't mean your work isn't good or interesting. I hate to say that sometimes it can also be dependent on the member you write for, I've noticed engagement varies a lot between groups/members, and it's hard to not doubt yourself as a writer, but your work is and always has been amazing, fun to read and super enjoyable. It's not selfish of you to have these totally valid feelings, we love you and support you no matter what you choose to do!!

If you're not into writing/kpop as much, that's also okay. Please don't doubt yourself too much and know we love everything you write!! 🫶🫶

no bc litchrally what if i kiss u on the mouth likeeeeeee

i feel like i’m more okay with the situation? it was lowkey greedy of me to expect certain things but ig i’m more okay with the way things are now, if people like my story, then they’ll interact and if not that’s okay bc i still enjoy what i put out kinda

but thank you for all the reassurance and the kind words i swear i lov u babesssss and i hope you’re doing wellllllll

[corybiit]

I love abo aus where omega have a rest over lifestyle lol Oooh What will coryo do if he was wed and bed by alpha sejanus 😂 something tell me he isn’t the book club kinda omega guy lol can’t work or go to uni…I doubt he would wanted to immediacy pop out pups…so I wonder if he dedicates himself to milking him and sejanus into the perfect power couple 😅 senjanus has no choice but to take over the family business and influence politics so he can whisper in his alphas ear and rule the world the only way he allowed and hopefully make a world where his kids won’t have the same restrictions in the future through this deeds 😂 he does eventually love sejanus in the end but dude def uses him to do his bidding when he needs to

Oh, yes, coryo is not one for giving up, he would definitely find a way to get to the top no matter what, and manipulate Sejanus through the years to get the results he wants is just like the easy part, bc Sejanus would do almost anything to make him happy.

Like, in the capitol most high-end jobs are earned through nepotism and connections, coryo would build his own red of connections to make everything happen the way he wants it to happen, keeping the facade of a perfect couple of course.

He would definitely poison ppl and get away with it like in cannon, and he would play his defenseless omega card each tiem to get away with it.

[gaskarth]

rambling stuff under the cut just getting shit off my chest

so beck & i told our roommate last night that we will not be renewing the lease... things are awkward in the apartment now and things kinda suck because it's such a growing pain. we kept saying it kinda feels like we're breaking up with our roommate, but we both agree it's the best decision for everyone involved and what we have now is not sustainable. it still feels bad though, i've already overheard our (soon to be ex) roommate talking about us already saying sort of rude things and their partner has posted abt the situation on lex 😭 but I'm also completely of the attitude to A) toughen the fuck up (this is an inside joke with my family) and B) this is the bed they made and now they have to lie in it. it really is not our responsibility to be their roommates, friends, and their parents all at once. yes i can still feel bad that this is how everything is playing out, that we didnt make this call sooner, etc. but a lot of why this decision was so delayed was because both beck & i wanted to try and make it work and give everything the benefit of the doubt but the fact of the matter is that we cannot continue living with these roommates. everyone is unhappy in the current situation and its gonna suck now but it has to happen and now IS happening. this is rambly and kind of a word vomiting because a lot of stuff is happening very quickly and i want to write everything out just to get it out of my head but also because i'm most likely going to be very MIA for the next month as we figure out or housing situation and what comes next but thankfully we're going to a showing later today for an apartment we both feel really good about and have a few more lined up 🤞 i keep telling myself everything will work out and this is for the best even if it sucks shit right now

anyways love & light send good vibes or whatever bc i feel like my brain is in a blender and theres no off switch

[heatherthetiredwriter]

20 Questions for Writers

Thanks for the tag @autumnwoodsdreamer <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently just one! I've got two others sitting around in drafts but I've not published them

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

8,742

3. What fandoms do you write for?

My one fic I've published is a crossover for three fandoms, Big Hero 6, Tangled: the Series, and Tales of Arcadia: 3 Below. So I guess I write for those three. And my other two unpublished fics are for Frozen and How to Train Your Dragon. DC as well kinda.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Well I've only got one so the list is just

A Game of Keep Away

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I love comments and try to respond to them as soon as I get them! They make me so happy! Though... I do have a problem with... comments.... that I know come from a specific person being on multiple accounts that I try not to engage with too much.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

So A Game of Keep Away is again the only one I've published and its got a LOT of angst and much more to come-- but my unpublished Frozen fanfic probably has the angstiest ending of them all

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

It's not really spoilers, especially since I haven't written it all yet, but A Game of Keep Away will have a happy ending! My unpublished, unfinished httyd fic probably has the happiest ending, but that fic is like never ending I swear---

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Never hate, which I'm glad for. I've had grammar police. But I don't mind them cos "dang it, how didn't I catch that?" My problem, again is mostly with the one specific person who comes and finds my fic no matter where I post it and comes at it with this energy that I do not enjoy. I am glad this person likes my fic but my goodness I don't need that energy in my space when I'm trying to write 😭

9. Do you write smut?

Nope.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Yes! I already mentioned my only published fic right now is a crossover! I love writing crossovers!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I've had so many things stolen off of Wattpad. So. Many. Stories. Oh my goodness.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I am currently co-writing a fic with my boyfriend and our other friend, its called The Last Bat and I am just remembering its also on AO3 I think and that means some of my answers might be incorrect bc I didn't take into account that fic but I don't care cos its not on my account its on his

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

How could you ask me to choose between my favorites like that??? But it might have to be one from How to Train Your Dragon? It was the first thing I really got into. I remember shipping Hiccup and Astrid so hard. And Heather and Fishlegs as well. So maybe one of those two.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My httyd fic... It's too big of a fic to actually write I'm pretty sure. I might could make it smaller, but I'm certain it would take years to actually write out. I think currently it sits at seventy-five chapters? or something like that? But those were twelve year old me chapters and so I would want to re-write them and make them better.... and then I'd have to continue the story.... Like in my head, I'm fond of the story because it was my first ever fic, and because it was a way I connected with my now dead great-grandmother when she lived so far away from me (yes, I did get my great-grandma to sign up for a wattpad account when I was 12), but I don't know if I have the stamina to keep that up again. Plus this was the fic that kept getting stolen. I'm sure its floating around the internet somewhere, despite the fact that I took it down from all my platforms.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told I'm really good at getting into a characters head. And I'd like to agree. Once I'm in, I know their everything. What they eat for breakfast. What color their socks are. How they'd react to the stupid trolley problem. So I never have any problems showing how a character reacts to something. How it makes them feel.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I definitely could be more descriptive. I've noticed I've only ever been descriptive with a character once and that was just because I was so into her head and I knew that instead of focusing on the dangerous missions she was on, realistically she'd be like "Oh I wonder what kind of fertilizer they are using for their poppies? They are beautiful!" So since then I've been trying to paint a visual picture better. Something that I am finding to help is figuring out my setting beforehand and like mixing ambiance players to give the right vibes. Then it tends to come easier. But its something I need to work on for sure.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

In the wise words of @autumnwoodsdreamer "One word: italicise." But also yeah I'll mix in other words. I've done a lot of dragonese for different httyd things. Elvish too.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

How to Train Your Dragon

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Its not published anymore, it didn't survive my personal purge, but it was a crossover between httyd and the hobbit movies. One of my ocs antagonists from my httyd fic got teleported into the hobbit movies and fell in love with Kili. Who then of course dies at the end of the movie and she steals his body and does the whole viking burning boat funeral to try and send him to Valhalla. And then she comes back to her world and the main fic and is like "Imma be a better person so I can be with Kili in the afterlife :)" It was so cringe, but I was free and innocent and thought it was the coolest thing ever and I wrote like I was the most talented person in the world and honestly 12 year old Heather was onto something bc I'd like half of her confidence

No pressure tagging: @susanshinning @rachelbethhines shooot im trying to think of people I know that post on ao3........ if you post on ao3 then please feel free to join!!!!!

[icedmetaltea]

Yesterday was ok, today anxiety's been awful again...

(rambling abt anxiety and nonsense venting below)

felt dizzy/bit of vertigo throughout the morning and when I checked my BP it was 154/108 so that scared the shit out of me... I took a bit of propranolol and that seems to be helping but I'm worried bc when I asked about what a dangerous BP was my stepdad said 160 and up and that's uncomfortably close. The last time it was high it was only like 140/90 so this was really scary

I called the number the crisis ppl give me from a resource sheet on friday again since I never got a response after leaving a message on monday but this time they told me to call yet another number and they said I couldn't get any kind of help till I came to their office to fill out some forms and like??? I CAN'T LEAVE MY FUCKING APARTMENT

Do these people never get ppl with severe agoraphobia?? The last time I had a full-on panic attack I screamed at the top of my lungs and had to call 911 to get ppl to calm me down so I'd stop hyperventilating, you want me doing that in public again??????

Anyway she told me I can call the supervisor and see if she could make an exception in my case BUT ofc she wasn't available and I had to leave a message, no clue when I'll hear back and when I do I doubt she'll even be able to help me

I fucking hate this system. This is why so many people kill and hurt themselves. When they are lost, when there's nowhere else to turn. When the crisis ppl come they give you a whole list of resources but what is there for people like me who are stuck at home, broke, unable to work bc they literally cannot function like this when it gets this bad every couple of months (sometimes more frequently)

it's either go to a psych ward where they'll pump you full of meds that'd just give me the same "locked in" panic attacks which trust me are far worse than toughing it out at home where at least it isn't bright and loud and horrible or face shit on your own

I thought it was starting to get better, yesterday I cooked 3 meals for myself, I went outside and sat on the step for 5 mins, today I can't get out of bed bc every time I try the room spins. Even when I'm laying down like this it's bad. Even if I close my eyes it's bad... I slept better last night and I thought I was doing well but no, midway through the day everything's horrible again. I keep feeling out of breath no matter how many deep breaths I take... other times I feel like there's "too much air" and I'm breathing too fast and can't slow it down... how do I even describe it??

I feel like I'm going insane but at the same time I know it's been this bad and worse before. I remember my childhood. I remember laying on the floor struggling to breathe, alone. I remember begging god to take this sensation of dread to go away, or to just let me die. Anxiety has a habit of always seeming... idk unfamiliar? No matter how many panic attacks you have, they always feel new

and what's worse is I can't even remember how I eventually always overcome these phases bc I ground rule growing up stemming from OCD I had at the time was I wasn't allowed to write anything in a journal bc it was "bad luck" or something (at the very least my OCD isn't nearly as bad these days) Idk if it takes days, weeks or months to get better. If I spend half a year or longer just waiting for things to get better then like um... it kinda becomes a quality of life issue, doesn't it?

Idk maybe it's the weather. It's 65 rn, yesterday it was mid forties, so maybe that's it. Well then I'm fucked bc it's only gonna get warmer as it approaches summer, and ya know climate change and everything wooooo

Doesn't help that the past two times when my stepdad witnessed me having those really bad attacks he said I should go to a padded cell or something... I know where he grew up there was no such thing as mental illnesses or therapy, only "crazy and not crazy", but damn it hurts. At least my bio dad understood what was going on to some extent. He knew anxiety was out my control, that I was going through it but that it didn't make me "crazy", just that my body was reacting physically to something seemingly unsurmountable on a mental level.

My stepdad was even surprised when I told him anxiety is the second most common mental illness nation-wide. I've talked to many other bad anxiety-sufferers, the reason you don't see us outside a lot is bc most of us are inside afraid to leave our houses! We're literally just trying to survive in bodies with malfunctioning nervous systems and in a society that literally is built around causing stress on a daily basis- on normal people, so just think about how that is if you literally have the being-stressed-out disorder my guy

it also seems like whenever I talk to my mom about this she tries to immediately talk about something else. Like I messaged her earlier today and when I brought up feeling dizzy and having a high BP she just said "Sorry you're having a challenging day! We're at the library getting library cards. Libraries are nice!" like sure some ppl like talking about light hearted stuff to distract them but sometimes I just need someone to be there and listen, you know? All it does is make me clam up and bottle all my emotions in, which ofc makes it worse.

I'm scared to check my BP again. I feel like there's something terribly wrong with my body but it's not as if I can see a doctor if I can't 1. afford it till medicaid processes or 2. fucking go to the doctor. You want me to have another one of those soul-crushing panic attacks and shriek around some stranger in an uber?? Hell no

So yea idk what to do. I have a math test this weekend and I've barely studied at all, can't get myself to focus on anything. I can't drop out again, I've already failed this class twice. I don't think they'd let me take it again and I'm pretty sure I've run out of financial aid to pay for it

Ofc mom and dad are gone, my sister said she'd visit me the other day but "forgot" to, so I'm alone. Completely and entirely alone.

The one thing I have going for me is the PMDD won't start up for another week or two so at the very least I have a will to live rn. Anxiety and depression usually go hand-in-hand but since it's just anxiety atm I'm still able to have the motivation to cook and clean when I'm not ya know unable to get out of bed bc my heart is beating out of my chest

When it does come back, well... I'll keep those crisis numbers on speed dial. I've survived all this horseshit, I might as well make it worth something. Idk maybe the thing I'll keep living for rn is a fucking pet fish someday. I have to hold on to every tiny thing that gets me through the day bc there is a chance, even if extremely slim, that things will in fact get better

[void-sand-cat]

Assuming that Michael is the player for Fnaf 1/2/3/5/6 (I have no idea what's going on w/4), I doubt there is any way that the spirits (including afton kids & William here btw) knew who they were trying kill was.

So, the animatronics are old and kinda crappy right? So the missing kids wouldn't have the best vision, and (if I recall correctly) Michael looks a lot like William. Plus, we know they attacked anyone with a security uniform (rip phone guy), so they definitely didn't know. I subscribe to the headcanon that they were affected by possible murder machine programming in the animatronics from William, increasing the likelihood that they had 0 idea what they were doing, but I don't know any proof for this, so disregard it, this theory doesn't need it.

Aftons are tricker. Based on how Elizabeth talks about William, I don't think her or CC knew about how fucked up William was.

Next CC. First off, "It's me." Which works if you think he knows Michael is Michael, but it works just as well if CC thinks Michael is William. Again, I have my doubts he knew how messed up William was, but he definitely knew how much Michael was - at least Michael as Foxy bro. I do believe CC said, "It's me" with no ill intent. Whether or not it was meant for Michael depends on how forgiving you think CC is. Irregardless of how forgiving CC is, he is still affected by bad robot eyes and falls into the same hole as the missing kids.

Before moving on to William, I want to touch on Michael. I don't think he knows that Elizabeth, CC, & the missing kids think he's William. From what I understand of SL, Elizabeth does talk like she knows the player. As mentioned above, SL is not a game I have learned a lot about, nor have I learned about Eilzabeth. I said I didn't think "It's me" was said with anger/hatred, but I do believe Michael interpreted it that way. He had been fending off murderous animatronics all night, and another one just showed up in his office. What else is he gonna think? I don't know if Michael knew that CC was haunting the Golden Freddy costume, but if he did, why would he think his brother would forgive the person who killed him? As for the missing kids, he knew they were attacking security guards (at least after a point), I doubt he thought they knew how he was.

I wanted to touch on Michael before William because this is a special case. I still doubt that William knew the security guard was Michael. His eyes have to be total crap, and (if I recall correctly) he can talk, so why wouldn't he talk to his son? Why would he be trying to kill him? Instead of trying to control him, find out what's happened since he was gone, etc. That's the same. However, I think Michael knows William doesn't know who he is. And wants it like that. Michael likely figured out that William is treating him as a rando. It's not hard to put together, but why wouldn't Michael say anything? Counterpoint, WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE? He knows what William has done, and he's there to burn everything down with William inside.

I am technically in my 2nd fnaf phase, but I've only really ever seen gameplay of SB & Ruin, and that's from speedrunners. I got this far bc of game theory binge watching. Fnaf 4s lore is too confusing for me to touch, I think it doesn't matter, maybe as motivation? Eh, no idea. 6 is more of the same, up till Henry's speech everyone assumes Mike's (oh fuck. Mike has a nickname. I'm a dumbass, forgive me) some rando, Henry speech alerts them their wrong, but they burn before figuring it out.

Edit: According to AO3 tags, I misspelled Mike's name. Guess I should fix that quickly. (I can't fix the misspelling in the tags here, though.) I also fixed a mistake with Elizabeth's name at one point. Elizabeth was a typo, I have no idea how I ended up spelling Mike's name wrong. (I'm American seriously, how did I do that?)

[bastionbibi]

Question if it’s okay to ask: what is it that made Akai one of your favourites? Or at least someone that’s cool in your book

Man.... This is like asking why I love soup.  Ok, I'm not sure if I can stay coherent but I'll try, 

Ive been reading detco on and off since I was a was a wee child and even back then he was already one of my favorites because I like mystery, and he was the definition of that. 

And this way before the revelation that he was a good guy too. There was this moment of 'yeah, okay, this is it, he's the one (that im not gonna be normal about)'. Specifically, I fell in love in that one scene where he met ran on a snowy night, something about that scene was just so striking, especially something about him that, despite how intimidating he sounded or looked, didn't set off any alarms in Ran, that was the point where I knew there's more to this character, and that I love him. 

On another lighter note. I like his shinigami aesthetic, his one liner and lack of facial expression, I like his lonewolf tendency, how weirdly dependable he is and yet, he's not, in any way shape or form, charming. 

Like that time where he confronted Gin for the first time, he could've told Jodie and Conan that he had a plan to elude the BO but he didn't, he acted alone, he's extremely slow to trust but when he does, he pledge to them his true loyalty. I mean, Conan was just a child in his eyes (even though now he knows him as Shinichi), and yet since he decided to trust him, he never dismissed his words or treat him like a liability despite his 'age'. 

When he trust people, he cherished them in his own ways, and that's what I find commendable. 

He's ANNOYING. An asshole 75% of the time, we never got more backstory about him and Akemi because I refuse to believe this man with the personality as hard to love as the taste of blue cheese could land not 1 but 2 amazing ladies like cmon now. I hate how he treated Jodie but I have no doubt he would take a bullet for her if need be, I guess that’s why Jodie still likes him too to a degree but he didnt deserve her tbh (<- says the girl who will still reblog redstarling fanart whenever it crosses my dash). 

The same can be applied to his ‘rivalry’ with Rei, it doesn't matter what his true reason was, he decided that night, when he was holding the bleeding gun of a man he failed to save, he would keep the truth away from Rei and he stick by that decision till now, Rei did everything in his power to literally hunt him down over a misunderstanding and he didn't care, come hell and high waters and he will still keep Rei away from the truth because that's what he decided to do and he keeps his promises, especially ones made to himself. 

I suppose I like him because outside of 'work', while he keeps people on a distance, you don't have to second guess on where you stand, there's a sort of ease in that. 

As the story progresses, we get to see reasons as to why he ended up this way and that was pretty entertaining, seeing how affectionate he can be to his siblings and what happened in his past to make him go the extreme lengths of being an agent to another country and infiltrating a deadly organization etc, it fleshes him out, it makes me excited to see where he'll end up next. 

Also, he looks kinda handsome ngl 

ON ANOTHER NOTE!! He's also just- Really weird?? 

Like ok, sure, he faked his death like one would do but he came back from the grave as a guy 5 years younger with pink hair that's taking his masters?? Hello???? Has he even been to college before like I legit wonder if he knows how hellish a masters program is AND, I know this is based on a situation that's out of his control, out of all the personalities he can embody, he chose to be a milfy malewife who's always ready to babysit others?? Dedication to the bit is unmatched. 

(Also bc i hc him as conans dad and made a whole series about it, thats fun!)

(Anyway if youre in the gc dont u dare call me a simp i am not . ) 

[a-constant-gay-panic]

Hii! I love your work sm ong. I was wondering if you could do a richie tozier angst using prompts 7,9,12,15 from the angst/emotional section where they get into a fight or wtv and then the reader has like a near death experience from pennywise after? I feel like that would be nice bc I'm craving angst 😻

Last Fights

masterlist

pairing: richie tozier x gn!reader

summary: things between you and richie seem to be getting worse and you finally manage to confront him but it’s all in vain. none of it matters and it’s true what it said, you’ll float too. 

warnings: self-doubt, very angsty. that’s it. 

word count: 1.7k 

a/n: i am so sorry this took me so long but i was locked out of my account for a good while before i managed to get back in- this is rlly emotional and i'm kinda sorry… thats a lie. i'm in an angsty mood. hope you enjoy this anon :) 

not proofread in the slightest, beware grammatical mistakes

promts: angst 7. “wake up please!” 9. “no! don't you dare close your eyes!” 12. “is everything just a joke to you!?” 15. “you always do this!”

— — — — — X — — — — — 

your mind is filled with regret and fear as silent tears stream down your face, hair caking against your forehead which is damp with blood and sweat. you regret the way things between you and richie, your supposed boyfriend, were left. but the fear you felt? that had nothing to do with your fight with the glasses-wearing idiot. this wasn’t like any other fear you’ve felt before. this was a primal fear, as if every cell in your worn out body was begging you to run, get out of there no matter the cost. 

you couldn't. not only were you quite literally stuck where you were, a mountain of items separating you from the exit, but the sight of beverly’s floating body halts your flight reaction. you couldn't reach her, it was in your way. its orange eyes which stare through you as it approaches you slowly, mockingly. its mouth is upturned in a sick grin, rows of sharp teeth on display as it spews razor sharp words at you, each syllable coming from its mouth causing your body to grow weaker as you start to give up. 

“there’s no point. they’re not coming to find you.” it starts off, a bubbly laugh being pulled from its chest. “they’re only interested in bevvy which means we get to have so much fun together!” you shudder at the thought of its version of fun. “they’re better off without you, y/n. richie too.” 

your heart aches at the mention of him, a wave of self doubt crashing over you as you consider the possibility of your friends not needing you. “you’ll float too.” its words pull you from your inner debate and you flinch when you see its face right in front of yours, close enough to smell the rotten breath which escapes its mouth. you desperately try to move further away but your back hits a wall almost immediately. you have nowhere to run. 

you close your eyes and feel a gloved hand wrap around your throat, breath hitching as you await the pain, the darkness, anything. 

a loud scream echoes throughout the sewer and you could've sworn it sounded like bowers. whoever it was though, spared your life. its hand loosens as it turns to look into the one tunnel, obviously knowing more than you do in that moment. 

it whips its head around to grin at you, “guess our playtime will have to wait.” 

all of a sudden a wave of nausea oversomes you and you start to feel lightheaded, the fear you were feeling doubling as you lose control of your body. “sleep tight!” it laughs maniacally as your eyes droop shut and body drops to the floor, sewer water soaking the rest of you. 

the last thing you see is the huge figure of the clown looming over you, as you go over the argument you and richie had 2 days earlier. it was the last time you spoke to him and even now, on the verge of death, the only thought which floats in your mind is about him. 

‘i wonder how rich is doing…’ 

— — — 

you slam your front door shut and throw your bag onto the kitchen counter, elbows resting on the top as you grip the roots of your hair in frustration. a knock at the door makes you sigh out loud, already knowing who it is: richie tozier. you had left him at the arcade but he doesn't seem to understand the fact that you want nothing to do with him. 

with a major eye roll, you make your way to the front door, silently thanking whoever could hear you that your parents weren't home. 

“what is it, richie?” you ask as you're greeted with the annoyed and confused expression of derry’s very own trashmouth. “what the fuck was that?” he asks, pulling another eye roll from you. “you mean when you flirted with that chick right in front of me?” he frowns at your words, clearly not agreeing with your conclusion. “i wasn’t flirting. i was being polite.” he says matter of factly. 

“oh please,” you scoff, “richie tozier isn't polite.” he looks at you in silence for a good 5 seconds before responding drily, “i can be sometimes.” 

“so you only choose to be polite when a pretty girl comes up to you, is that it?” your blood starts to boil. “maybe. i’m polite to you, am i not, toots?” he smiles and you swear that you could punch him into next year. “is everything just a joke to you!?” you shout, finally having enough with this nonchalant attitude of his. 

he blinks, not expecting your outburst in the slightest. “why would this be a joke?” he asks dumbly. “you’re fucking kidding me, right?” you deadpan. “no.” is all he says and you laugh. “y’know, i always ignore the fact that you flirt with others, the idea that you’re looking for something in someone else but i can't anymore rich! i can't!” you pace slightly, richie still in the doorway as he watches you, tears slowly fogging your vision as you become angrier and angrier. 

“i’m done! done with your bullshit and with undermining myself and this relationship!” his eyes widen at those words, not expecting you to go this far. “hey, calm down alright? i’m sorry, it’s fine. i-” you cut him off and pull your arm away before he manages to get a grip on you. 

“no, it’s not ‘fine’, richie! you always do this, don't you see? i try to get over it, ignore the self-doubt, but i can't anymore! it hurts… you keep hurting me.” your voice gets softer towards the end and you blink away the tears which threaten to spill over. “i can’t do this anymore.” 

your gaze is downcast but if only you looked at him and saw the broken expression on his face, the tears which shine in his own eyes, size enhanced by his glasses. “so, what? this is it?” his voice cracks ever slightly at the end and your heart aches at the sound but you refuse to meet his eyes as you whisper, “yeah, maybe.” 

he stands in silence, not knowing what to say or how to reassure you that you’re the only one on his mind. the only one he’d ever consider being with, the one he wants to spend his whole life with. the only one in this world that he truly loves. he can’t form the word to tell you this, the only words which manage to leave his mouth are lousy and unimpactful, “i got to go. we can talk about this tomorrow.” 

and with that, he’s off. picking up his bike, he doesn't look back and quickly cycles off, heading straight for his house and he fails to see the heartbreak on your face, the way you crumble in a heap on the ground, hand covering your mouth as you cry. you cry harder than you ever have before. 

if only he knew that you wouldn't be able to talk about it the next day. maybe then he would've said what was on his mind, what he desperately wanted to tell you, things he may never get to tell you. 

— — — 

“-n!” your eyes flutter under your lids, slowly being dragged from the memory of that night. 

“y/n-” you manage to make out your name,  “-please!”, the voice is oddly familiar and it pushes you to try open your eyes. they’re heavy and strained but you need to see if it’s who you think, if it’s who you hope. 

“wake up, please!” your eyelids peek open slightly, taking a second to adjust to the newly found light. 

as you get accustomed to seeing things again, you feel your torso being squeezed, warmth and a familiar smell filling your senses. your eyes prickle with tears as you see the mop of messy curls, weak arms trying to wrap themselves around the boy in comfort. 

“i’m sorry.” he mumbles and you shake your head, causing him to lift his own from your neck. you look into richie’s eyes and you’re filled with regret, wanting to take back everything you said to him. “no,” your voice is hoarse and scratchy, “i’m sorry… i didn’t mean anything i said.” you admitted. 

he smiles sadly and you finally notice the wet lines running down his face. guess you weren’t the only emotional one right now. 

“you have nothing to apologise for. i was a dumbass.” he sniffs and you laugh lightly before coughing loudly, causing his eyes to widen as panic rises in his chest. “no you weren’t,” you manage to get out as your coughing calms down a little bit, “i was… i-” you cough again, face scrunching up in pain, your throat feeling as if you’ve swallowed glass shards and then some. 

you feel your eyes slowly start to close, exhaustion taking over. “no! don't you dare close your eyes! you hear me? don't leave me again, please!” he cries out, the rest of the losers quick;y making their way over to you, the sight of pennywise disappearing down the sewer fresh in their minds. 

 “keep them open!” he urges, more tears streaming down his flushed and dirty face. “i’m tired…” you slur, voice sleepy and mind foggy, finally feeling safe. “i’m fine, jus’ lemme… sleep…” you plead. 

richie shakes his head. “just wait, alright? hang in there!” 

you smile at him softly, hand slowly making its way to cup his cheek. “dumbass…” you start, eyes glazing over, “i love you…” you whisper, hand soon falling off his face as you finally give in to the exhaustion and darkness overcomes all your senses. 

you faintly hear richie cry in the background, the other losers calling your name in vain. you try fight, you wanted to fight for richie but 4 words put an end to your struggle. 4 words which you’ve always wanted to hear from him: 

“i love you too.” 

the words echo throughout your mind as you drift off into the dark abyss, a smile on your face as you take your last breath in the arms of the boy you fell in love with, the only one who’ll ever have your heart.

‘i may only see you in another life, rich, but i’ll love you in every one of them.’ 

you should be scared or anxious but you’re not. you feel content, safe, comforted… loved. 

— — — — — X — — — — —