#i kind of like this song tbh. nice.
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figure skating set right now please. thanks
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#GUYS I AM PUTTING OFF WORKING ON MY COSPLAY SOMETHING STUPID. im tireddddd i like sleeepingggff i want to play and drawwwww#after work I literally ate a giant bowl of mac n cheese and climbed into bed. lifestyle choices of a 9 year old#anyways i want figure skaitng set. bad. PJSK HAS A WEIRDLY LOW NUMBER OF ACTUALLY WINTERY SETS... like 3. kind of.#i have some thumbnail sketches but im kind of stumped on composition for them. my idea was a nene focus set#(IF HER NEXT FOCUS ISNT PHANTOM OF THE OPERA THEMED INWILL DIE. BADLY. THEYRE GOING TO AN OPER AHOUSE. PLEADBR)#originally my idea was for nene to be biting a medal i was very sold on it bc i love nenes competitive side#however her outfit is so nice i want it to also be part of the art .. its heavily inspired by that one iconic eunsoo lim dress#from her somewhere in time program iirc. im really undatisfied with emus dress tbh my origimal idea was to give it a phoenix look#but a lot of the firebird/phoenix skating programs have very sleek dresses and i want emus to be fluffy. the balance is hard ..#and since i want her program song to be once upon a dream from sleeping beauty i swerved to make it look a bit like auroras ? but again#it definitely feels like the weakest of everybodys ... maybe i just love her too much and want her to look the best. sorry wxs.#tsukasas outfit is supposed to look like a shooting star. easy. program music moonlight sonata 3rd movement like from dazzling light. easy.#actually i like takahashi daisukes moonlight sonata program its a medley of the 1st and 3rd movement.. i think the calm at the beginning#is best. maybe smth like that.. for his card inhad him doing a haircutter spin but again. the outfits good i want the outfit visible. damn.#ruis the one im very set on even now. girl why are you so phantom of the opera.#it has a lot of beautiful programs to reference but the outfit i didnt really have any solid reference i kind of just balled#my main idea was to make it look a bit like both christine and the phantom.... gender Fluid.#my yapfest... i should be SEWING!!!!!!!!#despite my yapping im not that well versed in figure skating i cant really distinguish jumps i just like it . and medalist#i only do normal skating. bc i played hockey for like 7 years LOLLLL inlove skating though Heart.
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Tbh i am not surprised that a person who openly talked about having drinking problems since 1d days, because of how crazy 1d worked has been agressive. What surprises me is people being surprised (they never seriously saw drunk person?). But i am also confused about this whole book. Apparently Maya said that that book is not fully bout Liam but compilation about her exes and some of the worst parts are not about him. But recently she said that the book is “ofc about him” so what is true then? Or did she meant it that ofc some parts are about him or that whole book is about him?
Sorry, just confused
I also am not surprised- we've learned so much more about the real stories of things and about the guys' actual lives over the last years, and the story that has unfolded around Liam has been totally consistent throughout if you've been following it, and so the information Maya is telling us is shocking and upsetting but not difficult to believe. I got an anon yesterday saying they were worried about getting similar revelations about the other boys, like "if Liam could be doing this we just don't know, any of them could", and while in a way that's always true I guess, anyone could be doing anything in private like... that doesn't really concern me. Because none of these Liam revelations are coming out of nowhere, there have been many MANY steps along the way leading us here if you've been watching, and he has talked openly about both his mental health struggles and his addiction issues. So to answer that anon... to find out something similar about Louis would in contrast contradict everything we know about him and no I'm not worried about it. Is he probably very irritating, absolutely, but an abuser or a loose cannon, well that news would shock me. But anyway as for the book I don't find it strange that she was nervous when it came out and treading lightly and later decided, fuck it. In the absolutely on point tiktok she dropped today (YES👏GIRL👏FUCKING TELL THEM👏) she even mentions attempts to keep her from publishing the book, presumably by Liam's team, that I am riveted by and cannot WAIT to hear more details about actually- like I said I don't find it at all strange that she was nervous and downplayed it a bit then. But if she says now that it's just about Liam, well, I would say it's been clear from the beginning that the book is their story. Maya herself brought up the parallel of songs being written about stuff and I think it's the same thing; it's true (she was in an abusive relationship that involved certain kinds of events) but maybe not 100% literal (I'm sure details were changed to make the story work, it's not like a word for word timeline of their interactions or whatever).
#maya henry#blah blah blah#re the tiktok also lmaoooo are people really saying she wants money her family IS RICH like RICH RICH#but hot damn the part about enabling UH HUH !!!!!#yep yep yep#in terms of the other guys and what would shock me... well obviously we know Zayn has also had a history of agression#and we know WAY too much about him being pushy about sex lol#I would not be shocked to hear he crossed a line... but think he's probably just a bit of a fuckboy#I absolutely do not trust Niall behind closed doors but the songs we have about him seem to tell a pretty consistent story;#self absorbed but basically harmless#harry... who tf knows what he is like outside of being with Louis but I would be shocked to hear of him being aggressive yeah#I have a lot of issues with him but taking advantage of people or being pushy are not even on the radar#and as for Louis... like I said yeah it WOULD shock me. I don't just love him because he has a nice face!#it's BECAUSE of the ways we do know him and know what he's like. because of his tenderness and care#and his consistent kindness and love#and his openness about his private side#so yeah- it would shock the hell out of me it really would#but then I think that anon also was worried about eleanor spiling smth about their relationship so we are not coming from the same place#my kneejerk response was I'm sure he paid her on time what else are you worried about lol#although out of everyone if someone was going to say he lashed out at them I suppose it would be her#it was probably one of the most difficult and frought relationships in his life#and one that he did not want#so! but still no it doesn't worry me#tbh there was one thing in mayas video today that did surprise me which was the premeditation#Liam actually planning using the fans against people and sneaking around doing stuff#I guess even believing everythign I had chosen to paint a picture in my mind of someone who was still#basically unaware of the wrong they were doing and more flailing than plotting#and that shakes me a little. and makes me very unhappy to hear#liam discourse
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A transparent Virtute for you, scanned from the back of the Winter Wheat booklet <3
(As a bonus, here's the one from the Vivat Virtute website too, I love her so much.)
#the background on the back of the booklet is black n i dont think i Quite got the plant (wheat? winter wheat?) perfect. the contrast is#so high n removing black BG is always hard but. i think she looks decent#anyway. have some cats#i just like this artwork regardless of the songs tbh#though i am deeply fond of the saga. at rest gets me every time#i was kind of thinking today about this artwork and maybe tattoos. idk it probably wont happen#but itd be nice. she'd remind me it wont ever be easy or simple. she would dig in her claws when i stray#nyxtalks#transparent#cat#virtute#virtute the cat#the weakerthans#john k samson#this was not what i was supposed to be doing this evening
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i enjoy the girl in red cover of girlfriend is better
#usually i dont give a shit about girl in red but wiw. you show me a pop song with disco influence i will lose my shit#IM GROOVINNN!!!! IM GROOVIN!!!!#tbh i think the second half of EGI is a lot stronger than the first half#but there were some nice ones#i rlly like the paramore and teezo touchdown covers#the linda lindas was also pretty nice!#miley cyrus cover though . complete ass. kill it#overalll its just kind of a mixed bag but the second half has more bangers#symb posts
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looking at some takes on characters or relationships or scenes in which things happen between them and just thinking,
How in the hell are people interpreting it this way??? But then i step back and realize that the story or character in question is fundamentally and extraordinarily different from the average person's life experience and I go,
ah,
you guys just... don't have a deep enough understanding of trauma responses...
#mine#vagueblogging again i guess but this applies to many things#its honestly okay that the general public doesn't grasp the deeper layers at play because tbh theyre not often explored in media#to that degree at least#ive known someone with deep. Deep. DEEP traumas#shit that no human should ever go through and sounds almost cartoonishly evil#and the truth is#healing from that is UGLY. the impact it has on how a person interacts with their life is unimaginable#and it often makes NO SENSE AT ALL to someone who hasn't experienced the same shit#it's not as simple as 'i'm sad or scared and i cry easily but if youre nice to me and love me it'll go away'#in my own experience of loving someone like that#you sometimes have to work at helping them rewrite their entire philosophies.#things you wouldnt even think of#sometimes expressing sadness or pain is the hardest part about it because they're so used to turning the other cheek to survive#sometimes theyre so used to being manipulated that they reject any kindness you offer in the most viscerally violent way#and it hurts!#communication is HARD!#receiving love is HARD!#i was listening to Raon Lee's cover of Kokoronashi#and thinking about how raw the emotions are in the lyrics#and how so many average joes out there wouldn't be able to make any sense of it but those who do get it really get it#(essentially like... 'i wish you would just get it overwith and tear me apart#bc it would hurt less than the confusion i feel at how you're kind to me and holding me and promising to never let go...#at least i know how to handle the pain of dying#this is so confusing and frightening what youre doing to me. i hate it i hate it but please... don't leave me alone')#(its such a gorgeous song)#sHIT AND THEN 2 SECONDS LATER I FIND KOHANA LAM'S COVER OF IT AND IT'S SO MUCH MOR E#for the love of god look up that song and turn on lyrics captions
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I think people hated on this song way too much. Ive never been a Lorde fan, and while at first I thought it was really funny (everyone put her on this ridiculously high pedestal, it was inevitable), but seeing everyone turn on her SO much was just awful and made me feel so bad for her.... I don't have much of an opinion on the album in general but I always thought the song was super pleasant! It was nice to hear her being happy about something! Anyway. Sunny mornings hello, solar power back on love and food playlist. A sweet feeling of hopefulness
#pogaduchy#Also the way everyone compared it to a song playing on a tampon commercial or whatever?#I never got that.... Idk its a nice pleasant song. Whatever#Which is also crazy bc it really made me realize how much people do kind of want female artists to be forever profoundly traumatized#And tbh I don't think anything has changed at all. Can you imagine what happened if mitski released an album like that!#Uh... *Can you imagine what WOULD happen if. Sorry typing with one hand at work
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i srsly cant wait for tomorrow... i need my free pulls + colourfes
#tbh im still kindaaaaaa? debating whether or not i should pull on colofes#bc like. i want the cards!! shihoan lims *frothing at the mouth*#and on the other hand. im not quite at a spark :( im at likeeee 49k rn?? and u need 60k to spark with 10 tickets#so i dunno if ill be able to grind out like 11k crystals in the span of the banner#they are giving us the free 3900 which will be nice#and if i fc all the hard songs + ap all the stuff im missing then that shoulddddd be at least another pull#but id still need like. 7 or so thousand in event of that#which idk if i can do LOL#i might just pull anyways tho bc i dont really have any cards coming up in the near future that i NEED (i dont think anyways)#plus an & shiho are usually pretty kind to me (6 shiho 4stars including her colorfes which came home randomly)#(5 an 4stars one of which being her ny lim that came home on my last possible 10pull)#tbh im sorta kicking myself for impulsively pulling on random lim banners as much as i have (30 pulls on recent val banner)#(but i got val nene so its not all bad)#bc if i hadnt done those pulls i could defo spark#oh well ig we'll see#< sorry about the big ass paragraph this turned into i wasnt intending that 😭😭😭#gacha game pull planning is SERIOUS
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Trying to find a MLP FIM song tiermaker that includes the titles instead of a screencap from the ep because I honestly can't tell most of the time since I haven't heard every single mlp song, and for some reason thats harder than I thought so in the meantime I made a tierlist on MLP ships
#not a huge shipper when it comes to this show specifically despite wanting to make a literal nextgen for it. sjdklfklsdfslfs#most of the ones in like are just ''oh thats cute'' dsjflkdsfd#with startrix its like. i like the concept of them and they have funny episodes and a nice song#i think with their stories they'd go well together and they have good chemistry. but also starlight is kind of a bitch to her skldjfdlsfds#so i think canon trixie deserves better than canon starlight. i can fix them though maybe. starlight is getting changed in the au for sure#mostly cause sunset takes her place in the main cast sdkfsflsd she'd get a reduced role#a few of the ones in ''it exists'' are ones i just dont have context for tbh sdjklfdsf#echoed voice
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are there actually hnw anime-only fans..................
#the first two movies suck ass i dont think they created much of a lasting impact#haru.miou anime was ok#and hero.taru...............#the animation was nice and fun but tbh now that a year has passed i can see that the overall balance for me was like . barely positive#the goods do kinda outweigh the bads but it was still eh#i can't see myself rewatching the first ~5-6 episodes like ever#but i feel like . the people who actually liked it must have checked out Some of the songs later right ?#the idea of anime only mona fans ?#actually the idea of anime-only lxl fans is already scary#i keep remembering that one qrt cowboy got in one of the 'someone wrote 3k fics for a rarepair' viral tweets#that was something like ''if they actually thought the source material was good then good for them!''#it was written in a kind tone they were trying to be supportive fr but it was So Funny#i need to see if i have it saved#(it was referring to the anime specifically)#hworks#mar's midnight rambles
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the bat could've been such a great song if only they had put anyone who can rap on the track
#like the beat is nice i think i might've enjoyed this song#but it's a bit meh tbh just because the verses lack any kind of emphasis
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i really want to write a song one day
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#my inspiration to write poetry came back today... or rather yesterday now#but i've been searching up the meanings behind lyrics of songs lately a lot more than i usually do (though i do like my own interpretation#i also want to see the actual meaning in mind and kind of do prefer that i think) songs not from video games btw!#bcs if it's from video games. you can bet i already searched up immediately lol <3#but uhm. yeah. i love writing and i know i have a creative mind ever since i was really young and i love music!#i remember in the car when i was really young i liked to imagine song lyrics alongside melodies? but i want to do that someday#in a proper way. yk. idk how people make songs tbh but i love music so very much i do want to make my own one day.#just casually though GBHJSEBGJH i am very ambitious but i doubt and also don't want to get big in the music scene. but also#it's not as if i'll ever really know! and i'm not sure to what extent i want to be involved with making music. considering i want a#career relating to computer science or psychology/psychiatry or law so... yeah. and i want to go overseas. and explore. and travel.#and i want to make my own video game and write my own book. or multiple of them. so. yeah.#i've always been very ambitious but it was paired with my mind that for some reason never thought i'd have a future but now it's#getting. really there. and it's scary but also it's exciting and still scarier but also. yeah. it's nice. so i'll actually work towards my#dreams! tbh for a long time? i wasn't sure what dreams and hopes i had... like. idk. i just couldn't remember. but now i do.#so i'll try my best and try to be kinder to myself. and uh idk if anyone read this oops i'm rambling at almost 1 am. but yeah! <3#don't forget to treat yourself well. you deserve happiness and success. love yourself. don't give up. you'll achieve your dreams. <33
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WELSH WELSH WELSH WELSH WELSH
as a welsh person i want you all to accept that W is a vowel because honestly it makes pronouncing acronyms so much easier. wlw becomes ‘ooloo’, wjec becomes ‘oojeck’, love yourselves and stop giving us shit when we tell you welsh has 7 vowels. english actually has 15 vowel sounds but because y’all only use 5 letters you have to rely on a spelling system devised by satan
#it’s actually one of the languages I’d most like to learn! I have welsh ancestry and my mom’s name is welsh so that kind of inspired it tbh#welsh#cymraeg#one of the best languages tbh!#it sounds really nice in song form
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went a little crazy and got him
#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo,ide yo !!#i already got the yuta bonus 5 star and i only had 500k points left to go anyway so i figured why not just go all the way#cost of getting yuta aside,i only spent around 1k dia for that final push#i might end up going with the total up center skill for my yellow team for now#since he's a dance unit any my other two yellow cards are performance units#this frees me up to get hiyori in the final stage ss event#i'm not sure if i get to choose two 5 stars (one from fine and one from eden) in that event,or if i only get one like usual#and it would've been nice to get nagisa probably so i can actually use a performance up leader skill for my yellow team#but since there's no other pink cards i can get for free before the 2wink valentine's event,i'm kind of obligated to get this hiyori card#and since there aren't any yellow event songs before the valentine's event,it's not as urgent that i have a good yellow team#i'm still not sure how i should build my teams tbh. i don't want to grind an event for a card only to have to bench it later on#(with the exception of 2wink of course cuz i'm getting all their cards even if they're redundant color-wise)#i don't know who i should get from the 7th stage tour. or if i should just get mission coins#if i get the tsukasa then i'll actually have a dance up center skill cuz the two yutas coming up are both total ups#and i'll actually be able to use one of the blue yuta cards in my team#the problem is that exactly zero of my current blue 5 stars are dance units. i have two vocal units and one performance unit#choosing tsukasa would be forcing my blue team to accommodate yuta. and i already have another tsukasa card so he's a bit redundant for me#kohaku would probably be the slightly more practical choice. but my green team is already heavily leaning towards dance#and considering most of the upcoming free green 5 stars are also dance units,it's likely that he'll very quickly lose his spot on the team#plus there's no green event song for 2wink coming up yet so green is really low on my build priority list#i'll probably end up choosing tsukasa tbh. memorial coins are nice,but if i do the tag team event i'll get a really strong blue yuta card#and the memorial card i'm saving for is also a blue dance yuta card. and like green,there's no blue event songs in store for 2wink for now#so i can really take my time getting that yuta card from the memorial shop#really the only thing i'm having a headache over is how i'm going to grind for es coins. there's so many things i want in the es shop#but every event gives so little of the stuff. and afaik there's no way to buy them with real money,even indirectly
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The musical I'm in rn at school is really fun and has really interesting themes about marriage and gender and relationships in general in the 70s, but my god do I die inside whenever we rehearse one of the songs that basically boils down to the male characters not liking their wives and objectifying other women. Hahahaha.
At least my character's husband loves her. 😒
#we sing through the whole show and every other song has me joking 'damn this sure does make me wanna get married' bc what else do i do?????#like jesus i knew the guy who wrote it had some Issues. i know the way he usually writes women is a bit. eh#but Still#great writer. fascinating storyteller. interesting characters all around.#but he did not like women. not sure if it was a misogyny thing or a trauma combined with period typical misogyny thing. but he didnt#then again it seems he didn't really like men either everyone's kind of an asshole in this show while also not being fully terrible#they're all very human. but it feels very Ugly. idk.#then again it's a niche demographic of rich new yorkers in their 30s-50s in the 1970s#i doubt they'd all be Pleasant#rich is a strong word tbh but y'know what i mean. upper middle class to just full on rich#my character's nice at least. i mean tbh if she wasn't i'd still have fun this is a fun show. but still. :)
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things had gotten quiet again and in all honestly, jack thought that maybe giving his father some space might be best. he didn't know the full story behind how barton and nico had met in the first place... but there was a tension there that was hard to explain. so, even though jack wanted to learn more about nico, a thought had come to mind that they could probably use some private time to talk. being deprived of touch for so long and suddenly getting it, too, by having barton hug him back? it felt nice to the point where all jack wanted to do that day was stay like that. for, the touch itself might've shocked him, but that soon faded into a feeling like he was real again.
albeit for only as long as the hug lasted. jack found himself pulling down his left sleeve, then, because he was now afforded a moment alone. though unlike barton who seemed to simultaneously revel and loathe being left to his own devices by others; jack, like a true extrovert, drew energy from interacting with others. and although he didn't mind being alone sometimes, being quote unquote 'good company to yourself' wasn't always easy. the long and jagged scar on the inside of his left arm was not something he liked to look at, as a rule. but jack had been thinking about julien a lot lately since he died in september.
as he let out a soft puff of air, he approached a cabinet on the wall that held all sorts of things within it. jack was looking for one thing in particular though. he let out a soft 'yes' in victory as he found what he wanted (a pack of tarot cards) and smiled for a moment. at least, up until jack heard the faint sound of someone tossing and turning. it turned out to be jervis which concerned him. maybe instead of waking him up, jack could make him some of that yuzu cha tea he'd brought along with him. he'd purchased it back when his boyfriend was sick a little shy of a month ago and it seemed to help him a lot. thus, jack reasoned that maybe it could do the same for his father.
quietly, he set down the deck of cards on the table before trudging to the kitchen. jack was about to proceed into the main room of the warehouse but halted at the corner when he heard barton and nico were talking to each other. now, he didn't necessarily mean to be nosy, but the instant he heard something like, 'you know that i expect for things between us to be settled after this, right?' from nico's side? jack couldn't help but want to listen. he just barely peeked over the corner of the kitchen, to try to hear them better. barton seemed to go completely silent at that before raising an eyebrow. ❝ uhh, yeah, why wouldn't i know that? and i'd say that you preventing me from a possible death is the perfect recompense for what i did for you. ❞
recompense. didn't that mean to pay off a debt? jack knitted his eyebrows in confusion at this, wondering what the hell his father could be referring to. but it seemed he just needed to wait to get his answer, ❝ yeah, well, its not like i wanted to kill mikhail. it was an accident. i just wanted to spook him into leaving my sister alone. he was an insane stalker who she broke up with for a reason. and yet, the damn cops wouldn't do anything about him, so i had to do something before he killed her. or worse. ❞ barton held both his hands up at this and let out a mix between an incredulous scoff as well as chuckle.
❝ ahh, i mean, i get it. you don't need to defend yourself to me. your sister has been your guardian for years and she's also your best friend — right? though i, personally, would've been happy to kill this guy if he was stalking my daughter or something. i suppose that's one of the many ways in which we differ. ❞ barton wiggled both of his eyebrows once before raising both of his arms up in a shrug-like gesture. ❝ but your uncle is still someone i consider a friend, so when i got the call about how you contacted him in a panic about accidentally killing someone... and that he called me because i was the only person he could trust to get rid of all the evidence? i have to admit, my ego was stroked. ❞
barton smirked around the water he lifted up to his lips before he took a quick swig of it, ❝ and i never like to pass up an opportunity to have someone owe me a favor. ❞ jack quickly moved back to the corner of the kitchen right when he saw that his father's eyes were moving towards him. so, nico wasn't really here of his own free will, but because he owed barton a favor? his eyes darted across the floor as jack tried to plaster on his best smile and crept out of the kitchen. his father rose both of his eyebrows at his sudden appearance, ❝ oh, hi, son. how is jervis doing? ❞ jack nearly stumbled as he picked up his backpack and slung it over his shoulders. ❝ ahh, he's fine. the guy is still dead to the world though. ❞
he took out the jar of yuzu cha he had in his backpack, before looking at barton, who simply nodded. nico looked up from the floor then, ❝ mm. just to let you know, if your father is still okay by the morning, then i'm out of here. ❞ jack saluted at this before sauntering into the kitchen. but once he reached it, he let out a deep breath and just stood there to try to calm his nerves. it seemed he was right on time to catch jervis waking up. placing the yuzu down on the table near the bed, jack only rose a hand in a wave towards the other before speaking just above a whisper. ❝ hey. ahh, you're awake... that's awesome. how are you feeling? ❞
Blackness. Cold, frigid blackness, swallowing him whole. No bottom, no edges. Time bends, stretches, snaps, like threads pulled too taut. Memories flicker, stutter, unravel like reels of old film catching fire mid-playback. Jervis floats somewhere in it, the void pressing in, pulling him under, as his body remains slumped against the cold floor. But in his mind, he's somewhere else. Everywhere else.
He blinks, and he’s suddenly younger, much younger. The world around him smells of damp wood and copper, the air heavy with salt. His parents are there, their faces blurry and featureless, standing by the shore. A storm looms in the distance, its howl drowning out his calls to them. He can taste the brine, feel the cold slap of rain on his cheeks. “Mum! Dad!” But his voice comes out small; swallowed by the wind. His hands — so small now — reach out, fingers straining to touch, but they slip through like smoke. And then they're gone, swept away by the tide…
The blackness recedes into cold, sterile light. Arkham's damp walls closing in. White coats loomed over him, their faces shadowed. The cold metal of the restraints bit into his wrists, sweat trickling down his temples. Tick-tick-tick went the clock, just above his head. The tick-tick-tick became the rattle of pills in a small, plastic bottle. White pills. Green pills. Pink pills.
The needles dig deep. Medication floods his veins—no, not medication, poison. The kind that silences the mind, dulls the edge, but never quite kills the thoughts. They still buzz, frantic, scratching at the walls of his brain. Reality and memory bleed together in front of him, like ink on wet paper, smearing and distorting. He could barely tell which was which.
The room was spinning. Everything. Spinning.
Fifteen minutes. Enough time for billions of cells to generate. But not enough to save her. Sylvie's face appeared, pale and lifeless, framed by dark hair like a broken doll. The hospital room swam in and out of focus. The beeping of machines, the cold, sterile air. Where was Alice? The baby. Where was she?
His hands flailed, desperate to touch something solid, anything real. He found nothing but empty space. And then—wet streets of Gotham under dim streetlights. He was running, slipping on the rain-slicked pavement. Chasing someone. Or was he running from something?
“…and have you fret, picking your cuticles bloody…” Now it was his uncle’s voice cutting through the haze, thick with the smell of tobacco and vanilla. Once comforting, now suffocating. “I warned you, didn’t I?” Stephen’s hazel eyes glinted, hard and cold behind his glasses. “Walls, kit. You built them so high you can’t even see over them.”
Walls. Brick, steel, iron bars. Arkham, again. He laughed, or maybe he tried to. The sound splintered, jagged, snapping like bones.
Sylvie. Alice. Gone.
“You forgot.” Sylvie’s voice now, silk-soft, brushing past his ear. “You forgot to take your meds.”
STOP IT!
Light exploded into his vision, searing, blinding. His pulse pounded, his breath ragged. The Bat-symbol loomed before him, casting a long, jagged shadow.
“You belong in Arkham.” It wasn’t Sylvie’s voice. Not Stephen’s. Not even his own. But it echoed, reverberating inside him. His chest seized, breath caught in a cold vice. Was it fear? Or the shadow gripping tighter, squeezing out the last of the air? The Bat-symbol grew larger, swallowing the world whole.
Flicker. Jump. Alice’s laughter, bright and clear, breaks through the fog. She’s laughing because she doesn’t know—doesn’t know what the world is, what it does to people like him. She trusts him. How can she trust him? He can’t even trust himself.
No. Not laughter. Crying. No. Screaming. Her face warped, twisted, blurred.
The iron scent of blood. Flashes of hands—his hands—shaking, slick with red. His? Someone else’s? He couldn’t remember. He didn’t want to remember. He’s tumbling now, spiraling through the dark, limbs heavy, body collapsing on itself. Everything bends. Folds. Chess pieces scatter across a board, his fingers trembling, knocking them over one by one. He tries to pick them up but they slip through his grasp, the board tilting, falling away.
Another hospital room? No. Too still, too silent. No warmth. Not a hospital. Pitch-black. Arkham, yet again. The isolation tank. 10 inches of lukewarm water that matches his skin temperature. Sylvie’s body was rigid, waxen, chestnut hair tangled and tickling his skin as she floated next to him. “Jervis, love,” her voice drifted from somewhere far off, behind the static hum of his mind, “you never did know when to let go, did you?” A chuckle followed, soft and cold. Not hers. Not really. Sylvie was gone, gone, gone.
Jervis' heart thundered in his ears, loud, uneven. His hands twitched, searching for something to ground him. A surface, a texture, anything. His fingers closed around... nothing. Then, the tank vanished. He was weightless. Falling again. The voice—his voice—screamed something incoherent, something desperate.
“Jervis. Jervis, wake up.”
It was Stephen again, calling to him from somewhere far away, his voice low and warm, a lifeline thrown into the swirling abyss. Jervis clung to it, his mind thrashing in the dark, his body heavy and limp on the cold warehouse floor. But Stephen wasn’t here.
He knew it, even as the voice grew louder.
The darkness peeled back like tar, choking him, wrapping tight around his throat. The warehouse floor beneath him — solid, cool, gritty — replaced by a somewhat lumpy mattress. He wasn’t swimming. Jervis' eyes fluttered open. His joints were like jelly, his lungs burned, heart still racing. Barton. Matilda. His body felt detached, a stranger’s. But slowly, awareness crept in. The dream, the memories, they all slipped away like ash seeping through his fingers. He wasn’t falling anymore. But the past—the blood, the voices, the walls—they hadn’t left him. Not really.
Somewhere deep, a whisper curled into his mind: You’re still running.
#divingdownthehole#tw: mentions of child death.#tw: stalking.#tw: mentions of murder.#tw: scars.#OOF... oh my gosh. 'the dagger' song that you recommended? it matched the vibe of your reply SO well. it was like beautifully#tragic would be the best way i could put it so i salute you on that front!! but AHH gosh you weren't lying about it being heavy.#the first part in which you described jervis envisioning he was in arkham was... OMG. it was SO freaking well-written as well though#as usual and had me at the edge of my seat in a good way the WHOLE entire time ISTG. but yeah i might've taken a bittt longer-#than usual with this one though that was just because i wanted to give you the highest quality reply to this as possible!#but yeahhh. i am afraid that my reply may be lacking a bit in the 'getting to know who jack really is' department but i have laid the-#the foundations for that for the next reply so AHHH I AM REALLY HONORED THAT YOU'RE SO EXCITED FOR THIS GUY!! TEHE#SO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HYPING HIS CHARACTER UP THERE BY SAYING HIII AS THAT MADE ME FEEL SOOO HAPPY-#TBH AND SPECIAL 🥺 but he says HIII right back to you and that its nice to meet YOU TOOOO (though i know he is merely just a character-#he is entirely my brain-child so i am once again Very flattered that you're so excited GAH) but PLSSS do you really mean that?#because that is unbelievably nice of you to say let me tell ya and i am currently crying in the club because of that ;; like? THANK YOU??#SO SOOO MUCH??? that means a lot especially coming from you as you always blow my mind with your replies TBH!!#and i love you for that as well haha <33 but yeahhh. there is honestly more to the story than just what i included here as to why-#he is there because nico IS someone who is good at heart but he has mades some uhh... well mistakes to say the least SKSKS#but since you have a lot of questions i may just expand on this more in my next reply as well 👀#its kind of funny that my song rec for this one comes DIRECTLY from one of the christopher nolan batman movies but:#i also went kind of back and fourth though this song really got the middle part flowing out for me. its 'why so serious?' by hans zimmer-#in the dark knight :)
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bragger, lando norris
summary: fans constantly tease yn for always bringing lando up and being a bit of a simp for her boyfriend - which only gets worse after his first f1 win - so she writes a song about how if they were her they'd do the same.
warnings: none i think??? but let me know if i missed any. the song mentioned is 'bragger' by kelsea ballerini!! (((:
IN HONOUR OF LANDO'S VERY FIRST WIN !! 🥇
y/n.updates
Liked by fan22 and 1.340 others
y/n.updates Y/n's interview with WIRED where she answers the web's most searched questions about her is now out! Go give it a watch 😄
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fan1 she looked painfully beautiful in this
fan2 how was lando in the answer for questions like 'does y/n speak spanish?' or 'is y/n a good singer?' lol
fan7 she said she didn't remember much from high school but knew some words lando had been taught by carlos sainz and that her boyfriend tells her she is... it kind of isn't that weird if u think about it haha
user1 The more I see of her, the more I like her
fan7 i spy with my little eye 1.6K people with no taste
fan3 interview was everything I hoped for and more! she's hilarious and relatable as always
fan4 new drinking game: take a shot every time she mentions lando
fan5 I've watched it like 5 times already lol
fan6 we need a tally for how many times Y/n drops 'Lando' in her interviews. can someone make that happen?
y/n.y/l
Liked by carlossainz55 and 1.890.321 others
y/n.y/l the vibe i bring to the function (ugly crying on facetime) !!! so incredibly happy for you @/landonorris. you did it 🧡🧡🧡
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y/n.y/l also congrats @/oscarpiastri and everyone else at mclaren for an amazing race ((((:
oscarpiastri thank you Y/n! 🧡 ❤️ by author
landofan4 ok this is very cute and nice of her🥺🥺
fan1 ARE YOU STILL CRYING ? BECAUSE I AM DEFINITELY STILL CRYING
y/n.y/l started crying on lap 54 and haven't stopped since
fan2 new post from my fave lando norris fan account yay (also go lando!!!!!!)
user1 Well deserved 👏🏼👏🏼
landofan3 soy lago
y/n.y/l same
lnfour LFGGGG ❤️ by author
fan3 How many times do you think Y/n's going to mention Lando's win in the next week? Taking bets now
maxfewtrell It's the messy hair and smudged mascara for me
y/n.y/l knew i should've gone for the 'perfectly composed while crying' look instead 😔
landofan1 rip lando nowins: 2019-2024 ❤️ by author
landofan2 "you were scared? i wasn't. i was ok (laughs). thank you. i love you" lando 🥹🥹🥹
fan5 when did he say that? omg
landofan2 f1 posted a reel on their profile and you can hear him talking to her!
mclaren LANDO NORRIS IS A FORMULA 1 RACE WINNER 🏆
y/n.y/l I AM SO NOT CALM ABOUT THIS ??!!?
user2 i could've sworn i saw her at the race? why are they facetiming?
fan4 they could barely speak after the win tbh! this is probably a call in between interviews
user2 today's bottle smash hit different ❤️ by author
landonorris I've said this like a million times already today but I love you so much
y/n.y/l i love you i love you i love you i love you
y/n.y/l
Liked by pietra.pilao and 1.809.896 others
y/n.y/l if he was yours, you'd do the same without apologising... new single 'bragger' out now!!!! 💋💋
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fan6 WHAT HAPPENED TO HWLLO ?? HOW ARE YIU ??
y/n.y/l 🫢🫢
fan1 "he's just too damn good not to mention" .....................i mean she is right we'll give that to her ❤️ by author
landofan1 USING THESE SPECIFIC PICS OF LANDO TO ANNOUNCE THE RELEASE OF A SINGLE ABOUT BRAGGING ABOUT HIM IS WILD !!!!
landofan5 that last video is doing things to me.........
landonorris i'm confused does anyone know who this is about?
y/n.y/l no idea 🤷🏽♀️ but let me know if you find out xx
landofan4 apparently about some guy named bob?? I'm not sure
fan8 HAHAHA I LOVE THEM
fan2 she really wanted to make sure she'd made her point clear with this dump omfg
fan3 her point: she has a hot bf and we don't
user1 Well played, Y/N. Well played. 🥸
fracisca.cgomes On repeat ❤️❤️
y/n.y/l lindaaaaaaa ❤️
landofan2 knowing all she's saying is about lando makes the song x1000 times better
fan7 so she saw the tweets... 😐
y/n.y/l i saw everything 👀 they were actually hard to miss hahaha
user2 "i understand why you would want him (i don't mind)" queen behaviour !!!!!! 👑👑
fan4 So this is how she gets back at us for all the teasing lol not complaining at all
landofan3 I can't believe this new song is actually inspired by the fans' teasing about Lando!!🤣
fan5 we joked, she delivered!!! bragger is actually a banger👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
#singer!reader#social media au#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 smau#lando norris x reader#lando norris x y/n#lando norris smau
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