#i kept thinking about solitary and protest in solitary while reading. even when it wasn't explictily about that the emotions and descriptio

[trans-axolotl]

just finished reading Failure to Comply by @librarycards --it was beautiful and visceral and haunting in so many thought provoking ways. as a mad and intersex person, so much resonated with me--particularly the amount of ambiguity, the reflections on personhood and unpersonhood and the expressions of transgressive love in the midst of crisis.

for some reason this quote in particular stands out to me:

"I think about resistance as a wall, a wall that can endure much force acting upon it without moving (or, perhaps, the force itself is the resistance and the wall is whatever it must push against). This is a wall I choose to touch. It’s a wall I occasionally forget, now more so than usual. I am trying my best to record re cord so later I will tie it to whatever I is then.

I think they are trying to take my eyes, because my eyes allow me to see the wall that stands between me and the outside. I could not always see the wall, but lately—if, outside time, there is a lately–– it has manifested and now I cannot unsee it." (Cavar, Failure to Comply, pg 158).

this book does not shy away from the horror of institutionalization but also left me feeling hopeful about imperfect, messy, crazy methods of survival.

you can purchase a copy here. content notes for medical abuse, body horror, ed and self harm, and also intersex specific medical abuse.

congrats so so much on your debut novel--this was absolutely fantastic 💜💜💜