#i keep thinking i'll listen to the dramas when i get the time and never do

[mishkakagehishka]

Omg korka you like obey me and hypnosis mic???? Huge win for me as my main 3 interests at this moment are obey me hypmic and enstars [:

I do!! They're all such beloveds to me, but i haven't found the time to properly listen to audio dramas in a while. And the level scaling in obey me killed me </3 but i love all three so much frfr Asmo and Kuko my best boys

[yamujiburo]

Do you think you could info dump all that you know about Madame Boss and Mayomoto with drawings? I would love to know more about their dynamic and about young Giovanni with baby Jessie. Maybe Delia could ask Jessie about it in a comic? Would it be sad or nostalgic? Maybe both? Like a flashback or something would be cool! Anyway, love your art and everything that you do!! ❤️

I'm not sure I can get it out in just drawings (just because it's a lot) but I have quite a few I've already done if you wanna look through my tags~ I'll also explain a bit here with some of my old comics. Long post under the cut~

Canonically, Madame Boss is the founder of Team Rocket and Giovnanni's mother. Miyamoto was one of her elite agents and Jessie's mother. They're REALLY close as evidenced by how they talk to one another (ex. Madame Boss calling Miyamoto "Miyamoto chan", Miyamoto's informal way of speaking to Madame Boss despite her being her superior, their friendly banter, etc.). Madame Boss sends Miyamoto and two other Team Rocket members on a mission to find Mew, but she and the other members never return. Miyamoto's implied to still be alive, endlessly chasing Mew with Jessie as her north star and reason to keep going. Madame Boss passes away sometime between the radio drama and before the events of the first Pokémon Movie. You can listen to the whole drama here! Madame Boss and Miyamoto are primarily in the first part, but Miyamoto pops up at the end of each of the other parts at different periods of time.

This is more where my headcanons begin! Miyamoto, whose dub name I hc being (Calamity) Jane, joined Team Rocket mostly because of her not great circumstances. She works her way up the ladder quickly and impresses Madame Boss. They become close but at the time, Miyamoto was dating a charismatic performer/con man that MB, not so subtly, doesn't approve of. She was right to not approve as this man got Miyamoto pregnant but left her before he'd known.

Madame Boss, despite her penny pinching behavior (Team Rocket wasn't that big yet), does what she can to help out Miyamoto. They had to tread carefully though, they didn't want anyone thinking there was any sort of favoritism happening.

Jessie is born, and for a little while Miyamoto keeps her and raises her the best she can. On more short term missions she'd leave her with Madame Boss, who's not super fond of children, and would have her own son Giovanni watch her (or have another grunt in Team Rocket watch her). This wasn't sustainable, so Miyamoto quickly puts Jessie in foster care (the foster care part is canon). Miyamoto would still visit her daughter whenever she could.

Ultimately, Miyamoto was a very driven, one track minded woman. She would constantly go on missions and after discovering Mew, became obsessed. It was around this time Madame Boss was starting to catch feelings for Miyamoto. Miyamoto would play along but was not nearly as invested in their relationship is Madame Boss was. Not in a malicious or leading on sort of way, she just had a job she wanted to get done

When it was time for Miyamoto to go on the mission to actually find Mew, Madame Boss, while excited at the prospect of getting her hands on a legendary Pokémon and the money that came with that, began to worry in the days leading up to the mission and tried to get Miyamoto to stay. She offered to send a different team out. To her they were disposable, but Miyamoto wasn't. Miyamoto didn't take the offer, wanting the glory and money of finding Mew for herself (but also had a daughter she wanted to get back to and be able to provide for). She leaves and goes MIA

Madame Boss is brokenhearted and after several years of Miyamoto going missing, is not able to run Team Rocket, troubled by the immense amount of guilt and heartache, and Giovanni takes over. She remains in the organization, more so operating in the background. It was rare for agents to see her out and about. But years later she sees Jessie's joined Team Rocket as a trainee. She requests Viper and Giovanni keep an eye out for her. Viper doesn't know why but does as he's told. Giovanni understands, remembering Jessie as the little toddler he'd have to take care of many years ago as well as her mother Miyamoto, who he knew was very close to his mother.

Not too long after, Madame Boss passes away but Giovanni keeps his promise and continues to keep Jessie employed.

I don't think Jessie remembers much of her mom or anything from around this time. I don't think she even remembers her mom being in Team Rocket or Giovanni babysitting her. She just remembers her mother leaving and never coming back and holds some resentment, not knowing the context of why Miyamoto disappeared.

I've thought about doing a story where Miyamoto returns in my hanamusa au but I still gotta think it out more. It starts with Miyamoto stopping by Delia's restaurant and she and Delia talk, not knowing the little connection they have via Jessie.

[randomshyperson]

A Moody Witch Makes a Moody Morning - [HS Challenge]

Summary: A lazy Sunday with a very temperamental witch suddenly turns upside down.

Warnings: Fluff hours, an attempt at comedy, emo!Wanda being jealous and cute. | Words: 756.

General Masterlist | Wattpad | AO3 | Holiday Season Masterlist

-&-

Lazy Sundays were your favorite.

Especially in a routine divided between being a superhero and a university student, with the bonus of a temperamental emo witch girlfriend who much of the time stressed about things that had nothing to do with you but ended up being your fault. 

You wouldn't have it any other way.

Especially when you had Wanda in tender moments like these - almost asleep side by side, just enjoying each other's company in silence. Wanda, focused on a magic book and you playing some of the strange games Pietro bought you for your birthday.

And with the good Maximoff temperament never failing to change, Wanda suddenly pinched your ribs.

"Hey, what was that for?" You mumbled in a confused laugh, pausing the game and looking at your girlfriend pouting.

"I just remembered last week."

Still massaging the site of the pinch, your confused expression increased. "Can you clarify, my love?"

She huffed incredulously, crossing her arms. The long-forgotten book in her lap. "You're such a cynic!" Accused the girl. " I saw you all secretive with that bitch from your classroom, I'm warning you Y/N, if you ever even think about cheating on me, I'll use the whole list of tortures Nathasha taught me-"

"Wanda, for God's sake." You broke into a long laughter, completely surprised by the sudden subject. She huffed angrily, her pout even bigger. "Hey, princess, look at me."

"I hate it when you call me that."

"You do, huh? Then why do you always get flushed?" You challenge back, smiling at her attempt to hide her own blush. 

Wanda refuses to look at you, however, and you sigh before losing getting tired of the drama and leaning towards her. She reacts immediately, her hands on your shoulders to push you away, but the witch forgets about the comforter entwined around your legs from the night before - her own requirement to sleep cuddled up let it be noted - and when she pushes you onto the floor cushions, she is pulled into her own trap with you.

Your reaction is to burst out laughing, of course; but Wanda is torn between mortification and blind rage.

Until she sniffles softly into your collarbone and you stop laughing immediately, one of her hands going to stroke your back.

"Hey, my love, what's wrong?" You ask worriedly.

Wanda hides her face in your neck, and her voice is muffled by your skin as she tearfully retorts: "I'm a jealous mess, you should find someone who isn't completely insane."

"Wanda, don't be so hard on yourself, these situations are always entertaining." You joke, but she bites your skin hard and you grunt loudly. "Ouch!"

The most apologies you get is a hickey in the same place. 

"Are you done?" You ask, not about the affections but about the whole scene. Wanda nods softly, and you kiss the top of her head, tightening your arms around her. 

The cushions are no bed, but they certainly have their unique comfort with the help of the room's fluffy carpet. You're about to fall asleep when Wanda whispers softly.

"My period is late."

You sigh, without opening your eyes. "Good thing I don't have a cock. Not a real one, anyway."

She pinches you again. "You idiot, I'm just trying to say-"

"That you're PMSing, yes, it's obvious. There's no need to keep attacking me."  You grumble, but Wanda snorts angrily, pulling away to sit down. 

"It's amazing how you can't listen to what I'm saying."

You open your eyes in offense, ready to defend yourself to the blushing girl in front of you. Wait, blushing?

"What are you saying?" You ask worriedly, but your girlfriend grows shy, avoiding your gaze. "Wanda." You insist and instead of answering, she suddenly grabs your wrist. "What...?"

Guiding your hand under her oversized shirt is enough of a hint, but it still makes you laugh heartily. "Jesus, woman, you could have just said you wanted to fuck, you don't need all of that!"

Wanda snorts in embarrassment and pushes your hand away. "You know what, I'll take care of it myself." She stands up, ignoring your protests, and definitely using a bit of magic to torment you and cause the comforters to become harder to get out of. That, or maybe just the insinuation of Wanda playing by herself turns you into a complete mess.

"B-but I want to help-"

"You missed your chance. Good morning to you."

"Wanda!" But she slammed the bedroom door in your face. You chuckled in disbelief.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

i've been having a couple of downer days recently, and i kept looking for a verse i haven't read thrice yet for some comfort, but you're age! gap verse has been a pleasant escape even though its not what i was looking for. you're writing never fails to make me feel better ari 💕💕

Here's how they met 💜

Bruce sighed. He was starting to hate talk show appearances, but at least this one had never been too bad. Angelique was chatty and fun but not grating. Her show ran as school let out. So grannies watched after their naps and kids watched getting off the bus. She ran a little something for everyone.

He assumed he was here for the grannies.

"I'm so sorry I'm late the shoot ran over and I couldn't get away."

The voice caught his attention. Not the fake starlet over dramatic gushing, but genuine distress. And he half turned to look. You looked like you came from a shoot. Straight off the pages of a glossy magazine.

"No worries, Miss Y/L/N we got your call in enough time. We'll just touch up your face and you'll be good to go," the manager greeting you, said.

Bruce smiled a little. Clearly, you were a frequent guest. You thanked him profusely and trotted off. Not needing to be told where to go. And as you go, there's several crew members you can greet by name. You've either been here a lot or worked with them before. Or both. But, it's endearing.

He turned back around listening to Angelique get her updates on where production was. "-And Y/N is in hair and makeup as we speak."

"Oh, bless her heart," Angelique said. "That's what I get calling her last minute." She turned to Bruce and held out her hand, "Are you ready?" she asked.

"As I'll ever be," he chuckled taking her hand, "You know these sorts of things aren't my forte. My oldest on the other hand-"

"Don't you worry about a thing," Angelique reassured him, patting the hand she was holding before letting it go. "Y/N is an old pro- Ah! speak of the devil!" She swooped over and kissed you on either cheek. "You look absolutely divine, is that one of yours?"

"You know it is," you tell her laughing, returning the gesture. "As if I could walk in and NOT wear my own design, you'd never let me live it down."

"So true. Darling," she said grabbing your hand and pulling you over to Bruce, "I want you to meet Bruce. You'll be on stage together today. You know it's charity week and I though it would be great to highlight all the work you do for school arts programs along side the Wayne foundation," she said.

"Hello," you tell him, holding out your hand.

"Pleased to meet you," he said, taking the hand you offered warmly. Giving you his most charming smile. You did look good. And he could tell they hadn't done much to your face or your hair. "I'm a big fan of your work," he commented.

Your smile didn't falter but your eyes narrowed slightly. And Bruce cringed internally Shit. She thinks I mean the Playboy spread, he thought. "Your last movie, the drama, especially. The range of emotion and the depth- It really was incredible."

"Thank you," you tell him. "It was challenging but I really enjoyed it."

Bruce felt his face heat when Angelique coughed and he remembered hearing that you had the ability to make someone feel like they were the only person in the room. He'd forgotten for just a second. In just that brief moment that he was waiting for an appearance. "It showed I uh- my kids made fun of me when I cried at the end-"

"Aww, Angelique gushed, "This is amazing. you guys keep up this chemistry. It'll go totally viral." She bounced on the balls of her feet and kissed your cheek again, "I'll have someone bring you a coffee, sweetie. You're going to start wilting soon."

And before you could say anything or Bruce could offer to go and get it for you himself, Angelique had bustled off to find and assistant to give marching orders to.

[sanguineterrain]

your most recent jason fic has me in a bit of a chokehold and its bc you do so well with the dialogue and the banter!!

HONEYLOVE???#?*×& i need to be physically restrained (i appreciate your fics respectfully)

anyways, the fic has me thinking: imagine it's the same reader, but they know Jason's alive and they're back to being friends again (skipping over the drama of "YOU'RE ALIVE?!?" "yea lmao sorry ily tho") but there's this tension now. and since Jason's not working with a mask anymore (and he's slightly more vulnerable with r), it's him who gets flustered and it's r who does the flirting playful banter. maybe it ends with a kiss (˘ ³˘) ?

i'm such a sucker for a flustered Jason and there's something that tells me he gets really weak in the knees for someone he adores >:) anyways, you can always choose to write this or not but a very big, fat thank you if you do

the reaction pics are SO FUNNY i'm glad you enjoy this au <3

jason todd x gn!nocturne!reader. pt 3 of vigilante reader. this is basically reader just being feral over jason :> they speak for all of us, really. love confessions, tension, somewhat flustered jason, more sparring lols.

pt 1 / pt 2

****

Jason Todd is alive. Jason Todd is sitting two feet away, talking about a case.

You can't quite believe it. You went home two days ago and expected to wake up to the whole thing being a dream or the result of a Poison Ivy hallucinogen.

You can't stop staring at him. It's weird. You're being weird. But you can't help it.

Every time you see Jason, you want to look at him for as long as possible. You don't want to forget his face. This new face. Scarred and hardened, but still good. Still loved.

And, well. It's not like Jason's bad looking. Sure, you thought he was cute when you were teenagers. Resurrection makes the heart grow fonder, et cetera.

But now? Now, Jason makes your heart stupid. You can barely contain your desire. It's been two weeks since he revealed himself, and every time you see him, you have to dig your nails into your palms to keep yourself from showing him what he does to you.

Sometimes you think he sees right through you, but if he does, he never acts on it.

"—listening. Yo. Ground control to Major Tom. Are you with me?"

Jason waves a hand in front of you. You blink.

He's unmasked and in a Fleetwood Mac t-shirt and dark jeans—the most comfortable you've seen him, actually. His hair is still wet from his shower.

"Sorry," you say, suddenly zeroed in on the three droplets of water sliding down his neck. "I'm listening. Just looking at you."

"'Cause I'm so pretty?" Jason asks, batting his lashes.

You reach over without thinking. He freezes when you wipe the water off of his neck. Then you tuck a curl behind his ear.

"You should let me blow-dry your hair," you say, taking your time in dropping your hand. "It'll take ages to dry in this humidity."

Jason's eyes have gone wide. Pink splotches bloom on the apples of his cheeks.

"Uh." He swallows. You watch his throat bob. "Thanks. Maybe... next time."

"I'll steal Dick's. He's got the fancy sixteen setting one."

That makes Jason smile. "Hm. Some things never change."

His eyes crinkle at the corners. Fondness swells swiftly in your chest.

You stay like that for a moment, caught in each other's orbit.

Jason breaks it first, leaning away. "Right. You should probably get back to the Manor. Br–the others'll probably think I kidnapped ya."

You shrug. "I quit."

"What?"

"Bruce was getting on my last nerve. I can't work with someone like that."

Jason snorts. "Join the club. Look, I can't say I'm not thrilled that you're stickin' it to the old man. But if this is 'cause of me... I wouldn't be mad if you kept workin' with him. Honest. If that's what you wanna do, don't let me stop you."

"Jason." You rest your hand atop his. "I joined this life because of you. To honor you. You taught me how to help people, not Bruce. You taught me what it meant to be kind, to be a part of something bigger than myself."

To love, you don't say.

"I..." He shakes his head. "You became Nocturne for me?"

You close your eyes, then open them. You've cried so many times. You don't want to stay in your grief any longer. Not when he's right in front of you.

"When you died, I..." You take a deep breath. "Nocturne was something to ground me. I think Bruce recognized that. I think he knew how much you meant to me. He didn't have to take a chance on me, and I appreciate that he did. But I've realized that he doesn't know everything. Can't see what's right in front of him sometimes."

You squeeze Jason's wrist. He sighs.

"God, I'm sorry," he says.

"What're you sorry for, Jay? You came back. That's all I ever wanted."

Jason chews his cheek for a moment. Then he stands, chair scraping the floor.

"C'mon," he says.

You follow him to the living room. He moves the armchair, the couch, and rolls up the rug. He disappears down the hall and returns with two thick mats. He tosses them onto the floor.

"Uh..." you say. "What're you—"

"'M gonna show you what y'did wrong that night on the roof."

"Wow. Can't believe you're still single. Being reminded of my shitty combat skills gets me so hot."

Jason rolls his eyes. "Alright, smartass. Just 'cause you quit the Bats doesn't mean you won't go out there and keep helping people. I know you. The least I can do is pick up where Dickface left off in your training."

"The least you can do, huh? I think you just wanna pin me against the floor again," you say, smirking.

He clears his throat. "That—no."

"No?" You step closer and look at him through your lashes. You're so close, you're touching his chest. "What happened to tying me up 'cause I was out when I shouldn't have been? Isn't that another educational technique?"

Jason's throat bobs. "That wasn't—I was just saying things."

"Hm. That's too bad."

You skip right past him, onto the mat, and hold out your arms.

"Okay. Put the moves on me, J.P."

It takes Jason a moment to craft his usual poker face. When he does, he groans. "'M not an evil Gilded Age financier. Still don't like 'J.P.'"

"But you like me-ee," you sing-song.

He shrugs. "Sometimes. Until you give me a heart attack and run into a burning building."

"Wish I could've seen your face for that one," you say as you steel your shoulders and secure your feet.

"Better you didn't. I'm sure there was a vein or two popping outta my forehead." Jason cracks his neck. "Ready?"

"Lay it on me, big guy."

"You first. Attack me like you normally would."

So you do. You step forward and throw a punch similar to the one from your rooftop spar. Jason catches it, of course. But this time, he locks you in a hold. One leg is between yours, and your arms are twisted behind your back with one hand. Humiliating.

"Dude!" You wiggle. Jason doesn't yield. "Jay, come on. No petty criminal is gonna know how to do all that."

"I know. The point of this is for you to know how to use someone's size against them."

Jason presses his cheek against yours. You tamp down your shiver. You can hear his heartbeat.

"Take a breath," he murmurs.

You close your eyes and breathe. Jason's grip doesn't hurt, but you're frustrated by how predictable you are. How he knows your body. A part of you is missing in not knowing him the way he knows you.

"Alright," he says. "Think. What part of me is exposed?"

"Not the important parts, I hope."

You can feel his eyeroll.

"You're hilarious. C'mon, focus. What can you attack?"

"Um... your legs. You trapped my arms, but my and your legs are free."

"Good." The praise warms you. Being this close to Jason will never get old. "What else?"

"What else? Do you have a tail I don't know about?"

"Sucha wiseass," he says, mouth close to your ear. "Your head. You're still able to move your head, and you're close to my face."

"Yeah, I'm not headbutting you. Out of the kindness of my heart."

"I appreciate that, sweets. Sweep my leg."

So you do. Jason goes down easier than he normally would for your benefit.

"'Kay," he says, once again underneath you. Now you have his hands pinned. "Good. Remember what went wrong last time?"

"You bucked me off like a Clydesdale."

He smiles. "Yeah, okay. So what'll you do different?"

"I'm not in my suit," you say. "I don't have extra weight in my boots."

"No, but you don't need it if you keep my legs apart."

"So that was your plan all along, huh? Perv."

Jason coughs. "Ah-hum... I—c'mon, lock my legs."

You grin and spread Jason's legs, using your knees to keep him immobile.

And then you just stare. This time, it's not because you're thinking about the miracle of resurrection (though what a miracle it is). No, you're just thinking, once again, about how your best friend got really, stupidly pretty.

And how you really, stupidly wanna kiss him.

Jason still looks young, but his jaw is now defined. He's got a five o'clock shadow coming on. His lips are full and pink. Freckles dot his cheeks and nose. The nose that still has a bump from when he broke it during a fight with Riddler.

You remember how he played it off for weeks. Bruce said that didn't even cry. But when you asked if it hurt, Jason had said yes.

You wonder when the last time Jason cried was. You wonder how much pain he's suffered since.

You wonder if he knows he's got your heart in the palm of his hand.

"Hey," Jason says. His voice is soft. Shy. "I lose ya again?"

You shake your head. "No. Never."

"There somethin' on my face?"

"You're a lot to look at," you say. "Pretty, pretty boy."

That gets an undeniable reaction. Jason Todd has never been able to take a compliment. You've been exploiting that all day.

Perhaps you know him better than you thought.

He exhales sharply, like you've sucker-punched him. His eyes dart to you. Waiting.

"Your eyes are green," you say. "Like, mixed. Blue and green."

Jason nods. "I—yeah. The Pit. Changed 'em. Changed me."

You lean in. His gaze flicks to your mouth. You watch his Adam's apple bob in a hard swallow.

"They're still pretty," you say. "Always had pretty eyes, Jaybird."

"Heh, right. Even with this shit?" He points to the scar that crosses over his right eye, stopping at his lip.

You let go of his wrists—not that you were holding them that tightly anyway. If this were a real fight, you would've lost ten times over already. Considering how much of you is touching Jason, you happen to be winning hard.

You trace the puckered white flesh with your thumb. Jason flinches but doesn't pull away.

"Your face could never turn me away," you say. "Never."

He closes his eyes and shudders. "Y'too nice to me. Always so nice t'me. Even when we were fighting. Why're ya so good?"

Your lips are a hair from his now. "I don't know how to make it more obvious, Jaybird. I'm absolutely insane about you."

Jason's eyes fly open. He sees your mouth and his breathing increases. You smile.

"Yeah, want you bad. No place I wouldn't follow you. Do anything for you."

Jason makes a strangled noise in his throat. You grin.

"C'mon, big guy. I'm right here. Come have me, Jay. I'm yours."

Jason soars up and kisses you. Swallows you, really. His hands hold your waist for dear life. You wrap one leg around his.

You nip his lip. Jason whines softly. Delicious.

You grab his face, fingers tangling in his curls. Jason sits up, slotting you against him. One hand supports you on your back, the other on your side.

"God—" He breaks away, just barely. "You're way too good for me. Had sucha... sucha crush on ya when we were kids. Y'so sweet."

You blindly find his throat and bite, hard enough to leave a mark. Jason makes a guh sound. You lick the bite to soothe it.

"Missed you," you say into his skin. "Missed you so goddamn bad, Jason."

"Yeah. Yeah, yeah," he babbles, clinging to you as you kiss up his neck. "Yeah, missed you too."

"Not letting you go," you say, almost snarling. You're angry with want, angry at the world for keeping this from you for so many years. "It's you and me now, Jay, mkay? Gonna be mine?"

"Always been yours," he says, panting. Jason finds your lips again. The kiss is messy, uncoordinated. Full of love. "No one but you."

You haven't fallen behind. You're starting anew.

"Never been anybody but you."

[tarnished-butsogrand]

To Liam,

It's so strange that I just couldn't bring myself to create anything to honour the role you've played in my life. It's like I cannot allow myself to say goodbye to you, trying to push back the inevitability of it. This permanent goodbye that I don't want to speak into existence.

"Let's leave it unsaid, just one more second

If you don't say it, then it ain't true yet"

When I first 'met' you, I was newly thirteen and I saw your music video 'One Thing' on TV. I had excitedly texted my best friend at the time, gushing about five cute guys on TV that were singing, "Get out, get out, get out of my bed" which amused my friend to no extent. It was the start of a character defining moment in my life, and I didn't even know it then.

It was hard to keep up with you guys, our access to the internet was limited. Watching YouTube videos back then was a task. I would go to all lengths to do so anyway, because it felt like I had five friends who I could joke around with. That's the strangest thing. I so desperately wanted to be friends with you guys. Not date. Just friendship. Looking back at that time, I almost feel sorry for how lonely I was to depend on five guys who didn't know of my existence for friendship, but then I don't. I don't know what kind of person I would have become if I had been oblivious of your existence. Now, I have had so many friends that I have met/ talked to through you. I am not in touch with all of them, but I felt like a part of a community.

You'll never feel like you're alone

I'll make this feel like home.

You taught me to dream. For the longest time, I was adamant I would form a band myself, and be famous and meet you guys. I was so sure of it! I could never afford to buy albums, or the movies, the books even though I desperately wished to. Then, for my eighteenth birthday, I finally got my hands on your book and the This Is Us movie

It was my dream, to meet you guys one day, all of you, and have you sign this book. I would tell you how much you inspired me, helped this little girl in a little town dream of going places. Gave her hope she could make it out of there one day.

I am so grateful for that.

It's hard to think you were together as a band for only five years because it sure felt like ages back then. There was always so much... Drama! I still remember the day Zayn left the band. The best friend who had first heard my atrocious interpretation of your lyrics, she was the one who broke the news to me. My chapattis and okra curry seemed extra salty that day. My family was surprised. What is she crying for? I would tell them and they would try to keep from laughing. It felt like the world had ended, but everything carried on as usual.

Life went on, I begrudgingly decided against pursuing a career in music. It's so funny, isn't it? You guys were living the dream and consequently taught me how to dream. And now, you've left us because of it and I'm still here because I didn't pursue it (not saying I would have become as famous as you, or famous at all). I got into medical school. By that time, you were already three years deep into your 'hiatus'. I would hear about you, now and then. Maybe listen to a single or two. Loved Strip That Down. Loved your interviews. Loved For You. Was waiting for an album.

I kind of lost touch with the 1D fandom and you. In the blink of an eye, 2020 was here. I got back to the fandom right in time for the 1D 10 years anniversary. I was sure it wouldn't have any effect on me. I was grown up now. Then I bawled my eyes out to Fireproof and I realised I was still a sucker, and I would always be.

Nobody knows you, baby, the way I do

It's been so long, it's been so long

We must be fireproof

Then I realised. It wasn't the same anymore. When I left, people were excited about everyone's solo careers. Five times the fun, right? Everything had... Shifted. There were camps and groups and, it just wasn't actually the same. I was horrified. Blogs dedicated to hate certain members, the word 'flopped' being used incessantly when it came to them. And bearing the brunt of the most of it was, you.

I don't want to go back and rehash it all, it's too painful, but you know what? I would have that time back in an instant if it meant you were still out there. Alive. When the possibility of this happening was so damn preposterous, not even the craziest fanfiction could have a plot line like this.

I don't want to say I felt sorry for you, because that makes you seem small. You had talked about your struggles, but you had also gotten better. I heard Heart Meet Break and I heard Weekend. They sound so ominous right now.

Heart meet break, lips meet drink

Rock meets bottom, to the bottom I sink.

Fuck.

I come alive on the weekend

I might die on the weekend

Another line for my demons.

All the while, facing vitriol that was frankly alarming. There was nothing you could say or do that wasn't criticised or scrutinized. I felt helpless but I was determined, once again that the tide would turn. That people would see you for the kind soul that you really are.

Let me tell you, LP1 was damn good! I hope you're proud of that album, wherever you are, because you smashed it! And your First Time EP? Still mad that Slow wasn't on your main album, like who made that decision? I am sorry people didn't pay more attention to your music, because it is amazing! Your voice, of course. That note in Bedroom Floor-you aren't real, you know?

And your videos during the lockdown? And your LP shows? You kept us entertained and happy. We loved watching you do the thing you love the most.

Oh, Liam. Then I gradually drifted apart again. I wasn't there when you came out saying you had been sober. I wasn't aware it had gotten worse. I don't know why, but this October, I listened to your music for the first time in a long while. It's so strange. Just a few days later-

I still can't believe it, Liam. I still can't believe you have left us. I can't believe that this is the end, this is how you had to go. With the world still against you. You didn't get your chance at redemption, you didn't get your chance to prove to everyone how amazing you were! You had so much love left to give. Everyone talked about how you checked up on them frequently. I am sorry there was no one to do that for you. I am sorry for the way you were treated. I am sorry you didn't get the help you needed, I am sorry that we can't enjoy more of your songs, your voice, your paintings and most of all, that laugh where your eyes all crinkle up, and your body physically rocks with it, and for a moment you become the embodiment of sunshine.

You were just a boy, who had one working kidney and the other that miraculously started working. You were just a boy that had a fear of spoons and loved dinosaurs. You were just a boy who apparently couldn't read but wrote so many songs for One Direction that we hold close to our heart. You were just a boy who warned people against snake habitats, and dropped tubs of pasta on your floor. You were just a boy who is loved by so many, whose loss will weigh heavy on our hearts for the rest of our lives.

I'll never forget you. And I promise, I will make all my dreams come true. Maybe not the singing part, but the rest. Hope you're happy, Leeyum. I hope they're treating you better than we did.

How can I forget someone

Who gave me so much to remember?

With love, always

Rini

[chaostroberry1]

Haii can you do a hcs of the Greek brothers (Zeus included but it's fine if you don't want to) to their S/O who is a mortal from the modern era?? I rllyy like your writing especially the Apollo's one ^^

Ofc! I'm sorry for the long wait 🙇‍♀️ I've been eating and rotting in my bed for a while. I dont really know about what you are requesting, there's only very little description. So I'll try my best ^^

RoR Greek bros with modern mortal s/o

Zues

- Mf is old as hell, literally. He'd be asking you all sorts of crap and wonder about the technology you have. He already knows about it, but he does like to stare and wonder what you do all day in that little rectangular piece of technology.

- He also tries to find ways to make you immortal, cus duh, he really likes you. But I think he'd be interested in cute little farm games online when you show him the stuff that you can do on your phone.

- he asks you to buy him a gadget, which you do so. but man, he sucks ass at it. You find him trying to figure out how to use it. Holding it upside down, pressing on all sorts of buttons until you have to lend me some help.

- he's also fond of the slangs and way you talk. He often uses your words too. Like "Lmfao!" Or "LOL!!"

- he wants to learn more about modern society, and everything there is to learn about. Until he found out about google. Mf now keeps on asking the stupidest questions, and even calls his brother's on facetime, just to talk to them about the stupidest shit.

- he'd laugh so loud when it comes to you telling him jokes from your TikTok brainrots and all.

- you talk to him about all the newest things happening, and all. And drama. But I think he's more interested in learning new words.

Adamas

- yes he does use the slangs too. I bet he'd randomly gangsta talk outta nowhere and make the most out of pocket statements.

- give him some love, he's just having fun especially after all the stuff he went through.

- I know damn well he makes yo mama jokes, no matter how old that stuff be. He's older than you bro, he's been alive for a very long time. So you better teach him more to mama jokes.

- your fashion sense was interesting, he wanna dress cool too. So he's gonna force you to show him clothes that he'd like to wear, and he'd pick the edgiest ones. 😭

- he often gets annoyed at how you're always on your phone and not paying attention to him, which makes him wonder what's so good about it.

- you gave him a gadget, which he now likes to watch anime in, or sports probably. Basically anything interesting.

Hades

- he finds you very endearing, and loves you very much. He'd find a way to turn you immortal so that he can care for you forever.

- yes he installed wifi in his place so that you could stay happy, and do whatever the hell you do on your gadgets.

- Bet you bought a TV and watched anime there with him, or maybe TV series or shows. Could even be horror movies. He loves to cuddle up with you whenever you guys watch a horror movie, cus he knows that he'll be the one to protect you when you get scared or tired.

- when you gave him a gadget, he didn't know what to use it for, but you said that he could chat with other people no matter where they at. And even store photos of whatever he wanted.

- it truly amazed him how far humanity had evolved. Now he can just search up anything he had questions about, or facetime his brother's, or buy something for you.

- he likes to listen to songs he finds, and now he's never really bored like he used to be. Maybe gadgets weren't so bad. He knows how to limit himself, and that's why he tries to limit it fro you too. He doesn't want your eyes to hurt, and wants you to get rest.

- there's so many things he wants to learn from you. And how humans do their daily thing. It's amusing to watch.

Poseidon

- Bro he really loves you a lot, he just doesn't show it. But it definitely caught his attention seeing the odd way you talked or acted.

- when you introduced him to a gadget, he just shook it off, not wanting to get into pathetic little things like that, but you insisted. So now there he was.

- he really thought that humans were babied. The fact that they all gotten so lazy over the centuries gave him the ick.

- but he did find some helpful words to use whenever it came to describing stuff. But that's till doesn't help with anything. Like y'all have google, you don't need to waste your time studying when you can just do a quick search and boom, all the answers are there.

- you guys had online shopping, you didn't need to use your legs to do some work when you could just order online. And so much more. Humanity was babied. Everyone was pathetic in his eyes.

- but, you were an exception. Cus he liked you lots.

- I believe that over time, he'd catch himself talking like you, like "it gives me the ick." 💀

- he's such a bitch, but it's ok. Cus it's Poseidon.

[loveandleases]

Hey hi hello, I'm now obsessed with fantasy au rogue Cam lmao

I can imagine him just popping up at random to reconnect w/ MC, maybe even bringing lil trinkets (something he maybe took from his most recent robbery) that reminded him of MC. And maybe he gets teased by some of the other guild members about it like 'oh? going out on another date already? should we get a dowry ready for you, loverboy?'

Honestly, same. (Fantasy Au is just too fun to write. All the drama.)

As Cam steps up onto the old scared wooden table, narrowly escaping a wet kiss on the cheek from Bale, he looks among the other members. From the hardened rogues who've been scouring the city's underbelly for years, to the young pickpockets who are happy with a single gold coin.

He's never been good at giving speeches, the last time he tried he ended up in a back alley with a black eye and busted lip. To be fair, he was drunk. How was he to know that Eamon wouldn't be a fan of him critiquing how he was bedding his date?

They did well on the recent heist, so well, he worried that the boss might decide it's time to cut down on how many members there are. But luckily for him, Eamon is gone, and he's left in charge until he returns.

He clears his throat, the flame of the fire gleaming against the various rings on his fingers - each one representing a milestone within the guild.

He raises his hand, tapping his fingers against his tankard, a sharp ting-ting-ting cutting through the chatter. Each eye falls to him, some glazed over from far too much ale, some with lust.

"Alright you heathens, listen up." He calls out. "I reckon a toast is in order. The Vermilion Crescent pulled off the heist of the season - right under Christoph's nose. A round of applause for the guts it took to rob the man blind. The glory the guild will receive in the morning. And last but not fucking least, for the rich being a little less comfortable in this town!"

The room erupts in cheers and laughter. Mugs raised high and quickly downed again and again.

Cam's grin widens as he looks out at them, each happier than they were the night prior. "Oh, one last thing," he quickly adds, his tone taking on a mock-serious edge.

"The guild takes 10 percent, and I take 5 for finding. Don't forget it, or I'll kick your asses when I'm sober."

Bale smacks him hard on the back, nearly causing him to fall off the table. "You'll take what we give, just like you always have."

Cam waves him off, rolling his eyes as he places down his mug and throws on his cape. "Yeah, yeah. Listen, you keep an eye on everyone. Make sure they don't do anything stupid - "

"Like you would."

"Exact - Hey!" Cam turns, a pale finger pointed in Bale's direction. "I've never done anything stupid."

Bale quirks a brow, eyeing his friend. A friend who is deciding to call it a night far too early, right after their biggest heist to date. He knew what was up.

"You don't honestly believe that?" Comes a deep voice to their right.

Cam looks to Cybil, lifting a finger to flick his friend on the forehead.

"When have I ever - "

Before he can finish, Bale’s arms lock around him like a vice, dragging his arms back as Cybil steps closer, his sharp eyes flicking to Cam’s pocket.

“Hey! If you're not buying me dinner, then get your hands off.” Cam protests, his tone half-joking. But when Cybil’s fingers brush against his pocket, he stiffens. “Cybil, you wouldn’t dare—”

“Oh, I’d dare,” Cybil cuts in, triumphantly pulling a golden velvet pouch free. The room seems to freeze for a moment as Cam jerks free of Bale’s grasp, lunging for it.

"You really think," Bale starts, once he notices the eyes around him he lowers his voice, leaning closer to his two friends. "you really think you can take that necklace and give it to Red without Eamon noticing it's missing from the stash."

Out of all the years he had been with the guild, Cam never took anything for himself. Tonight, that would change. Tonight he would take the one thing Eamon wanted from the heist. The one thing he wanted to give to them.

"Then I expect you to make sure he doesn't notice." Cam straightens his shirt, pushing his wild red hair out of his eyes as he quickly scans the room to make sure no one noticed the exchange.

He knew they would try and keep Eamon from finding it, at least to the best of their abilities. He ignores the way Bale glares at him, the way Cybil clicks his tongue at him. He turns, quickly, before they can talk him out of it and begins to walk out the door. Only for that all-too-familiar voice to yell out for him.

"Look at that, Cam's out to see that little tramp at the Inn. Maybe we should join you, that way we can see what we're all missing." To anyone else, it would sound like Jade is joking. Teasing him about another night spent in Red's company. But Cam knows Jade, better than anyone. How could he not when it's her fault he's stuck with Eamon?

"If you spent less time worrying about where I'm spending mine, you'd probably notice that Eamon has been spending his with your mother."

The laughter around them doubles, with several gasps thrown in. It was a secret, not a well-kept one, but a secret nonetheless.

Cam gives a crooked smile, his fingers tapping just above his brow, then with a flick of a wrist, he waves his fingers outward. Like a small salute.

He didn't need to look to see Jade seething, he could feel her glare as he made his way out onto the streets. His steps are a little lighter as his hands press against the pouch in his pocket.

He knew taking the necklace from Eamon's share was a dumb ass move. Deadly even. But he also remembered when Red mentioned a necklace their aunt used to have. How they loved the color of it, red, like his hair they said. If death were to come for him by Eamon's hands, the smile Red gave him, the way they pulled him in to hug him...hell that would be worth it.

[pipsqueakparker]

just thinking about blitz and fizz hanging out more after fm/at

honestly blitz's relationship drama is probably such a help to rebuilding their own relationship - like, theyre probably both eaten up with guilt over the past, ofc blitz will always feel guilt over the fire, but fizz's body is literally a constant reminder, every time he looks at him he sees the result of what he did. but also fizz now knows that blitz never actually abandoned him, and imagine the guilt that could eat you up from spending the past 15 years hating your best friend over a LIE, and how do you make up for that? how do you move on form that? can you just go on? and how do you reconcile who they are today with who they were back then? after 15 years they have to relearn the nuances of each other, and find out what's the same and what has changed... it's a lot, is what i'm getting at. there's a lot of pressure and a lot of bittersweetness to their reunion...

but then blitz calls him drunk one night and starts spilling about everything that happened with stolas. and fizz invites him over, and he uses the gd crystal to just be there and fall into fizz's arms and just like that they're back, the pressure is off of their past because there's a real problem to deal with together now, and they can just focus on who they are to each other NOW.

and now fizz keeps inviting blitz over to watch their favorite movies, or to have dinner with him and ozzie (he even invites loona, but loona declines). he's trying to keep blitz occupied because he knows how to take care of blitz, even after 15 years, how to take care of this man is ingrained in his soul. and blitz lets fizz take care of him because its the most familiar thing in his life right now.

the day after the antarctica mission, he showed up to fizz & ozzie's place still lowkey fuming. he doesn't use the crystal to get there at all, he's mad at it. when he gets there, though, he holds his wrist out to fizz and says "its broken"

and fizz looks at it. and he calls ozzie in. and ozzie looks at it. and asks why blitz thinks it's broken, and blitz tells them that it's temperamental and it wasn't working for him at all and it nearly got them killed thank you very fucking much. and ozzie and fizz share a look and start snickering. and blitz is very annoyed, asks what they're laughing at. ozzie just hands him the crystal back and assures him that it's not broken.

"what do you mean it's not broken? did you hear me? are you listening?"

and ozzie turns to fizz, "i'll let you handle this one, froggie" and he leaves and blitz is pretty much fuming from his ears at this point and fizz puts his arm around blitz's shoulder and calmly explains it exactly as millie had earlier. these are asmodean crystals, this is how they work, and maybe it's not the crystal at fault... but maybe a certain... drop in confidence...

and blitz puts up all the walls, pulls out all the masks, assures fizz that there is no lack of confidence here, he's not been affected at all by recent events! no way, he is still horny as fuck and retains all of his sexual prowess.

fizz sees right through all of that because he was there when blitz made half of these masks, he can see the cracks, and he's half-sure he can dig his way between them to get to the root of this. there was always the risk of a new wall being put up in a familiar gap, but maybe it was worth the risk. so he pries, makes a few heartless digs to crack blitz's walls, and eventually it all crumbles and blitz is flinging himself across fizz's lap as if they were teenagers again.

"maybe i have been... a little off my game. so what? this thing's not gonna work until i'm - what? drowning in pussy?"

"well, then it would never work -" blitz glares at fizz at that and fizz takes it in stride "- you just need to rebuild that confidence"

"what, like that stupid fucking saying, 'get over someone by getting under someone else'?"

"you're not 'over' him?" blitz sits up and shoves fizz's shoulder, half-hearted, but he doesn't deny it. he doesn't say anything, so fizz continues. "maybe it would help to be with someone else, or -"

"are you offering?" blitz interrupts, trying to win ground back by leaning into fizz's space with a smirk. fizz puts a hand on his forehead and shoves him away.

"not while you're this lovesick -- or, just... spend a night with yourself."

"what? like...?"

"do i really need to spell it out for you, blitz"

blitz says he does. so fizz does, and he sends blitz home with a few new... treats to help him rekindle his connection with himself. blitz is glad loona's out at another party because it may not fix everything, but it is another good distraction.

fizz also likes hearing about blitz's missions, to an extent. he's still not as excited by the blood and guts and gore of it all like blitz is, but he likes hearing what blitz is up to. they have a nice old bitch-fest about emberlynne, fizz is laughing the entire time that blitz is recounting that night.

and hanging out with fizz means spending time with ozzie, and ozzie doesn't quite know what to make of blitz. he and fizz talk about it a lot, because fizz is worried about him, and maybe he wonders if they should meddle just a bit because obviously stolas and blitz just need to really TALK. they're misunderstanding each other, and maybe they could be the little push they need... but ozzie reminds fizz that they can't force anything and as frustrating as it is, they have to let these two idiots figure it out for themselves.

but for blitz, his time with fizz is more than just distraction. it's healing, in a way. and it's filling part of the gap stolas left, the part where blitz got to spend time with someone he cares about, and just listen to them and learn about them and tuck little bits of information away for later in case they're ever important. like fizz's favorite snacks now, which he'll sometimes pick up before heading over. they don't often talk about their past or the fire or anything that could potentially open a wound they're not ready to deal with... but blitz does notice moments that fizz talks with his hands... and he eventually asks because of how frequently the gestures are the same.

and fizz does dip back in the past for a moment, just enough to tell blitz how the fireworks going off had impacted his hearing. his hearing had mostly come back, like he can be okay without anything, but Ozzie actually made him hearing aids, too. but he learned sign language, too, because when it first happened he thought that was all he'd have. and it just sticks with him still, sometimes.

and blitz started to pick up a few, he'd ask sometimes, but others were a little more obvious. he saw fizz & ozzie exchange one, a gesture that reminded blitz of a bull's head or 'rock on', several times before he finally asked about it and fizz explained the 'I', 'L', 'Y' - blitz wants to vomit when fizz tells him how they'll often sign that to each other across a room or wherever just as a recognition of the other. it's so goddamn sweet that blitz is simultaneously seething with envy and bursting with pride at how happy fizz is.

the more time they spend together, the easier it feels to slip right back to how they were as teens. even adjusting for the obvious shifts in their personalities, it's not difficult. fizz is more confident, forward, and proud now, but he'll often retreat back into himself, look at blitz with those soft eyes, and gave up on hiding what a soft sack of sap he truly is. fizz feels like the opposite is true for blitz, there are so many more walls now, there's so much he's afraid of, but the more they fall into the familiarity of the other, the more that old blitz starts to come back out. and old blitz used to talk about his feelings, at least a little bit. more than present-day blitz. and fizz starts to break that down, too. starts to get blitz to admit aloud how much stolas means to him, how bad he feels for fucking it up...

fizz is trying so hard to lead this horse to water so he can drink.

but yeah. just thinking about them™

[missvelvetsstuff]

As per usual, I'm a bit stuck on my current story, No Benefits(don't worry, I'm working on it but progress is slow.) And this idea popped into my head. Well, the truth is I rewatched the Newsroom and it gave me an idea. If you've seen the show you might see the similarities but it's not identical.

If you haven't seen the show, you really should.

Here's a draft of the prologue, LMK what you think and if you want more.

The Situation Room

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: After a mission almost gone wrong, Tony brings back Bucky's former assistant, who is also Bucky's ex. Can they work together without hurting each other? Will the whole truth about their break up finally come out?

Avengers AU where Thanos never happened.

Prologue

Warnings: Swearing, angst, cannabis usage

Buckys motorcycle roared up the driveway of the Avengers compound, returning from a two week vacation after a mission fiasco. Tony had sent him to his house on Loon Lake, upstate. It was bigger and fancier than Bucky ever needed but secluded, quiet and on the water. Very relaxing. Pretty girls at the bar down the road helped pass the time.

He felt himself tensing as he parked and turned his bike off. Flashes of the drama went through his mind and he shook his head in an attempt to clear it.

His goddamn assistant had risked the mission when she didn't make sure he was fully  equipped. She was cute and not bad in the sack but had only lasted a few weeks before forgetting his favorite knife and guns, causing him to be unarmed and unable to protect the civilians he was trying to rush from the building. Thankfully Sam had been close by and able to get them to safety.

Bucky was lucky no one was killed. Well, no innocents were killed but a couple were seriously hurt, including a young girl, maybe 10 years old. He was shot as well but that was healed before he had headed upstate.

The press had a field day and the anti Avengers crowd went nuts. It didn't help that he lost his temper at a reporter who pushed a camera into his face, which he grabbed with his vibranium hand and crushed before returning it to the reporter with a big grin.

Bucky strode into the building, nodding at security as he passed, and went straight for his room to drop his backpack. Then he headed to the common room, just in time for dinner. Most of the team was there and Tony reminded him they needed to meet about the assistant situation.

Obviously his old assistant had been fired but a new one would need to be hired and Bucky hated that whole process. Tony expected him to at least sit in on the interviews since the first three he had were only interviewed by Pepper and washed out within the first week.

After he ate Bucky cleared his plate, confirmed he would meet up with Tony first thing in the morning, and went to bed.

His sleep was interrupted by nightmares of that mission, they had eased while he was gone but were back now that he was home. In his dreams, he failed and innocent people died, he watched that young girl bleed out in his arms before he woke up yelling.

Bucky was up at 5am, worked out, showered, ate and headed to Tony's office. When he arrived Tony's secretary waved him into the office.

Bucky sat across from Tony and waited for him to finish his phone call "Perfect, I really appreciate your help on this. I'll see you in a few minutes?" He paused, listening "No, that's no problem, I'll keep him here."

Tony hung up the call and looked at Bucky with a big grin on his face. "I believe I have solved your assistant problem. I found the perfect person and she'll be here any minute."

Bucky nodded "Great, so I can go now, right." Standing up from his seat, Bucky turned around and saw her. He did a double take, then glared at Tony

"NO! Hell no. No fucking way, this isn't happening Stark. I'm not working with her! Not after what happened. What she did."

Y/N smirked and winked at him while her gut wrenched at the hate in his eyes, she wouldn't let him see her pain. "Nice seeing you again too, Barnes."

Tony shook his head "Sorry pal, you don't get a vote in this. You've gone through 13 assistants in 6 months, not to mention the dozens in the 2 years before that. Y/N was the last one who knew what she was doing. The rest just wanted to get in your bed."

Y/N chuckled "That won't be a problem with me. I wouldn't have even come but I could use a break. Madripoor has been worse than usual since the Power Broker showed up"

Bucky flinched at the mention of Sharon Carter but pushed it aside then smirked "Well we agree on that, you're not getting anywhere near my bed." He looked at Tony "Can I go now?"

Tony nodded. Once Bucky was gone Tony hugged Y/N "Sorry about that but you know how he is better than anyone."

She shrugged sadly "It's fine. I mean he could have gone violent. I'm gonna go get my room unpacked. I'll see you at the team meeting tomorrow morning."

Bucky stalked to his room where he paced angrily for a few minutes before yelling into a pillow then changing and heading to the gym to work it out.

He started on a punching bag and his mind wandered. Why did Tony have to bring her back? There had to be other people out there that could do the job, the rest of the team all had long time assistants and didn't go through all the drama he seemed to. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't hear the door opening.

Steve walked up to him at the same time he broke the punching bag which slid across the room and threw sand everywhere. "You alright there punk?"

Bucky glared at him "Do you know what Tony has done? Did you know?"

Steve sighed "Tony told me this morning. Said he didn't want me tipping you off. I know you're not happy about it but she was the last competent assistant you had. Your mission gear, appointments and paperwork were under control so no goofs like with every assistant you've had since, you know." He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, not wanting to open any old wounds.

Bucky scoffed "How am I supposed to deal with her every fucking day. After everything that happened. I don't know if I can do this without losing it."

Steve nodded "I know but maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe you two can talk and find some kind of closure, even be friends again."

Bucky snorted "Thor been visiting with his fancy liquor? You can't possibly say that and be sober. How can I be friends after she-" he couldn't say it.

"I know jerk but just give it a shot. If it's awful then we'll make changes but at least you'll have tried."

Bucky sighed "I was gonna marry her."

Y/N went to her bedroom, Tony was kind enough to find her a place far from Bucky's quarters, where she had practically lived before everything blew up. She sighed and looked at the boxes stacked up next to the sofa, in her little seating area, before falling into the sofa.

Being in Bucky's presence for just moments was exhausting, forcing her to wade through all the heartache from two years ago. For a long moment she questioned her ability to deal with seeing him again, every day and still so pissed at her. Obviously he still hadn't learned the truth about that day but she wasn't going to try to tell him. She already did that, tried to get to him before anyone else could spin what happened but she was too late and what she found when she tried to go home had blown her life up. She had no reason to expect him to be open to hearing anything from her.

She shook her head to clear the negative thoughts. Bucky might hate her but he needed her, even if he would never admit it. Once his life was back in order and his reputation polished she would disappear back to Madripoor.

When she was done unpacking and organizing her room, Y/N grabbed a sandwich and iced tea from the cooler on the coffee table and sat back to enjoy her dinner. As she cleaned up, she ate a special brownie hoping it would help her sleep but knowing that it wouldn't be enough to stop the nightmares.

Tomorrows meeting would be interesting.

Chapter 1

[thatbitchery]

BOUNDARIES 101; WHAT ARE THEY, WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE THEM AND HOW TO HAVE THEM

A boundary is the line of discontinuity where the rest of the world stops and you begin, simply put. It's the line that says: past this point, you don't matter, I do. That's that. In this way we can classify a boundary as a definition of who you are/ self.

A boundary is more 'yes' than it is 'no' . We easily express the no ( don't talk to me that way) but at the root of it is the yes desire (talk to me with respect). Boundaries are more about desire than restriction. They're more of expressions of the self than a restriction of the other. Stay with me here, I'll get to that point real soon.

Contrary to popular belief, a boundary is not verbal. It's energetic. This is the one point I want you to walk away with from this entire post. You can miss the rest but this. This. One. Here. You do NOT verbally express a boundary, you energetically draw it. This is the takeaway here babe. This right here.

Let me put it this way: you can not tell someone what they can or can not do. Why? Because this is an infringement of free will and NOTHING. Absolutely NOTHING in this planet will cause you to face more resistance and friction than telling a free being what restrictions it must face. You're not being 'strong and powerful' when you tell someone to not speak to you that way you're causing friction and opening the door to a lot more disrespect than there once was.

Take this scenario. That guy at your office that was better off unborn. Every time he opens his mouth you burn with pity for that one poor lady that really spent nine months creating this thing. That Mr Red pill, you know? Youre in a meeting and you say something intelligent that reminds him hes actually dumb so he says something like 'hey sweetheart can you make me a cup of coffee?' With a smirk. The rest of the office laughs, it's just funny you know? Two ways this could go.

1. You tell him it's not funny. "Hey listen Chad that's misogynistic as fuc don't talk to me like that" so Chad raises his hands in mock surrender and goes "whoaaaa I didn't meannanything by it, just a joke. Man, these raging feminists, not everything is misogyny Sarah learn to take a joke, Christ". Now the meeting is ruined for you. You go into an argument that gets shut down in favor of the meeting. Walking out there's two groups of people, on your side and on his side, and now that you've marked a target on your back you know for a fact you'll be the recipient of microaggressions and snide remarks, suddenly work feels so so heavy.

2. You look him straight in the eye and keep talking. You completely ignore that remark and move on. He makes one more move and you ignore him completely, moving on. It's like he doesn't even exist. After the meeting he runs after you to try and act apologetic but you know it's a drama trap, so you stop and turn to him. He's talking but you're staring at his forehead. Then neck. Then shirt. And I mean with absolutely no emotion, no disdain, no approval, just blank staring. He's still talking, you look at his shoes, back to his forehead. He's still going on and you say "work to do" and go back to your desk. That's the last time you speak to him unless you have to, and when you do have to it's three sentence words, straight unwavering eye contact, NEVER forget to stare at that forehead (manipulation 101 beechez) and tilt your head. When your eyes meet glaze your sight like you couldn't be bothered. Before He's done you walk out or move to the next person. You give him no second you dont have to, whatever silly rumors he starts you shrug off, you talk to him with your back up straight and no facial express, like he's nothing (because I mean. He's nothing)

Which one of those two do you think works.

You. Can . Not. Tell a person what they can or cannot do. Back when I thought I had boundaries and I'd tell every Mary and John what they can and can not do to me all I met was "oh my gooooddddd wow you're so conceited if you think I put all that energy into disrespecting you oh my goooood it's not that deep ohmigauuuud girl get over it oh my God so I'm the bad guy now wuh wuh wuh" and walked out of those conversations with more friction and resistance than solutions feeling guilty as hell and even lost some valuable people. You. Just. Can't. You'll shoot yourself in the foot.

So how do we express our boundaries ladies? Energetically. When you decide for yourself no one should come to your house unannounced don't even open the door. My mother does this. She'll be inside just chilling and after you call she'll answer "you should have said you're coming! I wasn't expecting a visitor today so I was busy!" And that's all you get. No apology. No rescheduling. Next time. Call. [Queeeen behavior].

Boundaries have more to do with what you will do than what the other person can and can not do. Once more you can't tell a person what to do, so your boundary is your "if....then" plan. If someone speaks to me in a way I don't like that's the last time I speak to them unless I have to until an apology is delivered and they earn me back. If my bf doesn't call or speak to me all day I'm not speaking to or calling him until there's a bunch of flowers, poetry and restaurant reservation for an apology and an actual apology and it's two strikes and I'm out. If my parents do not respect my choices they don't get to be a part of said choices, the good or bad or in between. If my friends gossip about someone else they lose access to my personal information or life because once a gossip always a gossip. If. . . Then. A boundary without attached consequence is a joke.

If you don't know what boundaries to set there are three ways you can go about it.

1. Visualize the woman you're hoping to become. Who is she. What are her ways. What boundaries do you think she has?

2. Discomfort and pain. Most boundaries are inborn. Since we are born with the 'self' it comes with its own definition/ lines and if there was no socializing process we would still have them but for the sake of fitting in our social groups a lot of us had to give them up (I'm looning at you people pleasers) . If you have lost touch with yours listen to your Discomfort. What's on the other side of that is your desire and the line between is your boundary. Eg; you don't like how that man was looking at you. You have a boundary against sexualization. Okay, the next time someone sexualizes you, what's the consequence they face?

3. Off your head what boundaries do you want. The problem with this method is we express our trauma more than boundaries. I was hurt by someone in this way so this is my boundary. Being that a boundary is an expression of the self to base it on your pain is a betrayal to the self, but until you get back in touch with your self this works. Off head. What do you want.

The reason we have boundaries is to safeguard ourselves , or, our SELF from corrosion, dilution and diffusion. If you're in a constant state of fear, pain, anxiety, fight or flight you need more boundaries, your SELF is in jeopardy and given that life is literally structured about your SELF do I need to explain why it must be protected at all costs? Negative emotion is a good indicator of a boundary crossed. Those things that hurt your soul, those. Keep them OUT of your lines.

You have to train the people around you to respect your boundaries by a shift in your energy that they FEEL and they have to jump through hoops, go above and beyond to get back into your good graces or lose you for life. You must be willing to upset and lose people in safeguard of your best interests, and if the person is irreplaceable even just temporarily eg your boss, you must shift your energy subtly enough that they feel it but softly enough that you have enough time to plan a soft exit without getting fired.

Telling people what to do will bite you later, don't bother. You train people with reward and punishment in the way you regulate your energy, like one trains a dog. Good thing? Neutral and normal. Bad thing? Worship me or die.

Reminder nothing on the face of this planet, in heaven above or hell below or galaxy around is worth betraying your SELF for and keeping up with bullshit is the loudest expression of a lack mindset that says "I'll take what I have because I don't think there is better for me out there", and people can sense this and then you are, in layman's language, royally fucked.

Website

[olderthannetfic]

Update on the Bridgerton stuff: the online fandom is so homophobic and horrible, and the mods of stuff like the main subreddit refuse to do anything about it (but will remove comments by people upset about the homophobia for "generalizing") that LGBTQ+ fans have had to make their own spaces. There's a whole separate subreddit that bans homophobia called r/bridgertonlgbt, and of course the ones from the main one keep trying to get it banned with false reports by accusing them of "heterophobia" and "doxxing" (re: complaining about their homophobic comments in their own spaces). Assholes who are mad about them making a straight romance from the books lesbian in the show are also doing petitions and flooding like every Instagram post including one by the original author about how she was initially skeptical about such a big change from her books but she's had lots of talks with the showrunners and she trusts them, and has always supported greater diversity in the series. People keep misusing that stupid fucking George R.R. Martin quote (about how creators these days don't do anything original but just warp other people's existing works) when he himself has condemned "the show must be exactly like the books" fan attitudes, especially the racist tantrums around House of the Dragon casting a couple years ago. And on a post by the author HERSELF where she explains why she gave the go-ahead, supports these changes, and condemns homophobia in the fandom! How is she "warping" her own work???

I've heard about this all secondhand from my friend and it just makes me so glad I don't go on Insta or Reddit and instead keep my fandom activities to Tumblr or AO3. Where for all the drama over other things, at least this kind of rancid homophobia you get in spaces where everyone is cis and straight feels entitled to only ever consume straight and cis romance stories (they'll claim they "are okay with gay characters but new ones!" but their example is always like a side character who has an unhappy ending, can you really not get why queer fans are not satisfied with that?) at least that's not so much a thing here. Instead I'll be happily writing Francesca/Michaela and Benedict/male characters slash and ignoring and blocking the haters. And remembering that that show has way more fans than use social media and everyone involved is continuing to refuse to listen to the loud idiots online. Like everyone I talk to about it who isn't super online, most of whom are straight women, think the change is really cool and can't wait to see what they do with it. Some of them have read the books, but most have not.

But god, it just seems like toxicity from top to bottom over there. I really wish a lot of the straight women fans would just admit they don't like a lesbian romance because there's no one for them to find hot. And maybe consider why it's not a big fucking ask to "find something relatable" in gay romances, like gay people have had to do with straight ones for all time. Why must we continue doing that but you're entitled to whatever you want all the time? It's just so weird to see these attitudes still and in fandom in 2024!

--

These attitudes never went away.

On the fanfic side of things, the slashers just happen to have built the currently-popular platform, so the haters have to deal.

[allkordelia]

Keep Me Near Your Heart 19

"Jaenara, why are we here." Aemond asked as he was pull along by his wife while he glance around the castle with a look of discomfort.

Jaenara didn't answer him as she turn down a corner before walking towards a door, she opened the door and sigh in relief at the familiarity, she let's go of Aemond's hand to walk further in with a faint smile.

Her old chamber in High Tide.

It been so long since she been here, only venturing there to escape her mother or just to get away. Her grandfather was so happy when she first visited, Corlys didn't have a very close relationship with some of his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Rhaelle's elder children loved their grandfather, but since Aeron and his family live so far away along with his statue as king, they couldn't visit him as much and Rhaelle kept her children with Daemon away from her father after years of no contact.

Corlys's relationship with Jaenara and her brothers was basically none existent until she started spending more time at High-Tide, Jaenara could never understood the drama between her elder relatives, mostly because none of her cousins know what happened so many years ago to make our family walk on egg shells around each other.

"We should get back." Aemond said from behind her as she goes over to pick up a lute, "I have no doubt my mother have sounded the alarms for our disappearance--we should definitely leave." Jaenara stop playing with the strings before turning towards her husband with a frown.

"Why?" She asked sadden, "This is the pefect place to get away and at the perfect time, we need to be alone to talk about what we gonna do to Rivers and your mother." Jaenara explains, she place the lute back where she got it before going to seat on the end of the bed.

Aemond crossed his arms with a uncomfortable look.

"I rather not talk about her...or my mother for that matter," Aemond sighs, "I rather more to forget--" Jaenara made noise causing Aemond to look at her.

"No, no more forgetting or ignoring the problem." Jaenaea snaps getting up, "We must face this, I am tired of being push around by your mother and I'll be damn to be push around by a bastard harlot."

"And what do you wish me to do about it, hmm." He raised his brow in a sarcastic way, "I can't command her to leave, she won't listen, and my mother refuse to listen to caution." Jaenara walks to her husband grabbing his hands with a smug smirk.

"That is why, sweet husband, I have a plan."

Aemond furrow his brows curious.

"You do?" Jaenara nodded her head.

"Yes, I do. But, we must stay here in order for it to work."

Aemond look at his wife with a grimace, making Jaenara's smile falter a bit at the look on her husband's face.

"Must we? Can't we just stay at Dragonstone instead--"

"No, that would be the first place they will look for us."

"But...not here?" He drawls out, furrowing his brows.

"I mean, it depends on my aunt and grandfather," She comment, Aemond glance away from his wife with an unsure look.

"I don't thi--I don't think its a good idea to stay here." Aemond admitted, it was Jaenara turn to furrow her brows.

"Why?" She frowned confused, Aemond look at his wife with a conflicted look before sighing.

"Please, don't make me say it."

Jaenara became even more confuse, she didn't understand the problem with laying low in Driftmark for a few days, it's was a perfect paradise to getaway and relax with a brilliant view.

"Aemond, I'm not going to spend these next few days arguing with you about this, so just say it." Jaenara took her hands backand folded her arms under her chest and look at her husband with a fretful look.

Aemond lock his jaw and squeeze his hands into fist nervously, Jaenara caught the movement making herself ease down.

"Jaenara, I..." He stop as he stare at his wife, and memories he buried away  slowly start to resurface, causing him to close his eye and shake his head before looking at her, "I cannot say it, it is too much...it is too painful for me to revist, can't we just go somewhere else. We can go to Braavo like Alys or maybe Lys." Awmond recommend, but Jaenara wasn't hearing it as she roll her eyes.

"You know what, forget it." She says, making Aemond look surprise only to feel nothing but relieved, "Why don't you go back home, and I stay here." Aemond frowned.

"Jaenara, you know I ca--"

"Yes, you can Aemond, because if you don't than these next few days are gonna be hell...for you." She threatened, "So, you have a choice you either stay here with me and your unborn child..." she starts as her hand move along her round belly catching Aemond's eye, "Or go back home and destroy our marriage again." She shrugged, Aemond look up at her with a frown.

"You think I would do that to you?" Aemond asked hurt before looking upset, "After everything we been through--"

"Don't be draft, my love." Jaenara counter back, "Your mother is obviously unhinge and I wouldn't put it pass Rivers to not try something, so..." she steps close with a small smirk, "That's why we must stay here, away from those vultures, so we can keep our marriage intact and at the same time teach them a lesson." Jaenara grin at her husband, but Aemond look at her unsure, he didn't feel comfortable staying here but he also didn't want to make his wife mad than she already is.

"I...I guess your right, my love." Aemond said reluctantly as his eye stray from her.

Jaenara snarl with an eyeroll, she ignore his reluctance and instead grab his sleeve and turn them towards the bed.

"Do not fret, sweet husband." Jaenara purr after pushing Aemond onto her bed, "Atleast we have each other as our plan thaw out," Aemond glance up to look at her face as she climbs on top of him.

"Our plan?" He asked, Jaenara smirk a little as she straddle his hip.

"Of course, darling." Jaenara purr again, moving her hand to slide down Aemond's chest, before she leans forward to start kissing his neck, "You are the key for this plan to work, as long as you are by my side, you will never have to worry about that wench again." Aemond shudder once Jaenara's hand slip through his breeches and grasp his semi hard cock.

"B-But, what if...they find us?"

"They won't," she promise, "I trust my family to keep your mother in the dark  until our return." Aemond let out a pathetic whimper.

"But--" Jaenara tighten her grasp a bit causing Aemond to choke and moan at the same time, Jaenara lift her head from his bruise neck to look down at her husband.

"What is wrong, husband?" She cock her head to the side, her hand starts to move up and down making Aemond grasp her forearm, "Don't you trust me?" She pout, Aemond open his eye with a frown as he gaze up at his beloved wife.

"I-I do." He strutted, Jaenara move her hand a bit fast with hum.

"Good," she whispered, she leans down capturing his lips as she use her other hand to unbutton his vest.

「                            ⊹₊♚₊⊹                           」

It had been three days since Jaenara and Aemond arrived at Driftmark, and it has been going absolutely terrible.

Aemond has begun to sulk around the castle, something about missing his mother and their tea time, Jaenara roll her eyes and tone him out at the time.

Jaenara has become rather ambivalence towards Aemond lately, it feels like everything he does annoys her. Just him sitting next to her reading a book makes her blood boil and her heart beat with resentment, while other times she wants to fuck him. She beginning to think she's going mad, she can't tell if it's her own feelings or the pregnancy making her feel this way.

Either way, Jaenara didn't seem to care in the end, and neither did Aemond.

It felt like a power trip, she never imagine stooping so low like Alicent and Aemond, she always thought her compassion and kindess was a way to show how better she was than them. But, when she belittle or order Aemond around, a little feeling in her chest she realize was giddy lock away all those thoughts and she took a little joy in making Aemond's days here hard.

Jaenara notice her change behavior the day after they're arrival, she would snap at him for the stupidest things and call him names when she get fed up with his sulkening. At first, Jaenara was shock and confuse, shock at herself with how cruel she was being to Aemond and confuse because Aemond just took it.

Jaenara also notice that he begin to do it a lot lately, it reminds her of the little stray pups in fleabottom always pawing at her gown for food.

She had more sympathy for the small pups than her weak husband, but maybe, she shouldn't be mad at the fact but be proud. Her husband has finally crumbled, he was no longer that scary man she feared a year ago, but rather a pathetic boy wanting nothing but  her attention and love.

"My love." The sound of Aemind's voice snap Jaenara out of her thoughts.

She didn't move to look up at him as she knits her son a new hat.

"What."

"Can we talk?" Aemond asked, making her stop and look up at him finally, he wasn't in his usual casual clothing but rather in his dragonriding attire.

"Where are you going?" She asked ignoring what he said.

"To clear my head," he answered as he took a seat on the armchair next to her, "I wanted to talk to you before my departure, I think it's time...we talk." Jaenara raise her brow at Aemond.

"About what."

"Rivers--" Jaenara look away from him with a roll of her eyes.

"Aemond, what did I say yesterday when you ask me this." She inquired, Aemond gulp before clearing his throat.

"This isn't about the plan--"

"So, this is about you leaving me for her again, then?" She stop to look at him again, making the corners of aemond's mouth curve down.

"Of course not, you know my heart only belongs to you--"

"Good. So, are we done with this convention now." She asked flatly, Aemond parted his lips to say something but clasp them shut when she gave him a look he become all to familiar too.

Aemond bow his head before nodding.

"Lovely, because I am famish and i would like some peaches." Jaenara demanded, putting her needles and hat aside, Aemond stood before helping Jaenara up.

"I'll stop by the kitchen--"

"No!" She snapped, pulling away from him, "Have a servant do it, the last thing I need is for you to bring me plums instead of peaches...again." she glower, moving the covers to the side before taking her book from the side table and got into bed.

Aemond bow his head at the tone in his wife's voice, "Apologies again, my love." He said as he lift his head to look at her, jaenara clench her jaw to keep her from rolling her eyes at how pathetic he is being.

"That's not the apology I wanted yesterday," she sass, making aemond look embarrassed.

"I told you I couldn't...I couldn't get it up that night." He murmur the last as if their was others in the room.

"Or this morning or during tea time, it's as if your cock and eye stop working at the same time." She snickered as she shook her head and turn to the last pashe she was on in her book.

"Hmmm."

Jaenara look up at her husband to find him standing there with solemn look, Jaenara sighs and lay the book open on her stomach.

"Do not look so fretful husband, I was just jesting." She says, Aemond looks at her before smiling timidly.

"I know, my love."

Jaenara smiled up at him.

"Good, because I expect you to pleasure me once you get back from your ride, a woman can only go so long without what she needs."

Jaenara looks away and pick up her book missing the disappointed look that shadow Aemond's features.

"Of course," He utter before step close to lean down and press a kiss to her belly before moving to peck Jaenara's forehead making groan in distaste.

Jaenara wave him away when he tried to kiss her on her lips, Aemond frown at the irriated look on her face.

"I'll be back before dinner..." Aemond trails off, moving away from the bed towards the door before turning to Jaenara, "...I love you, jaenara." He says in the softest voice that had Jaenara glancing up at him.

"Mm-hmm."

Aemond frown again as he wife turn her attention back to her book, Aemond didn't say anything before he left. When the door closed, Jaenara closed the book in her hands and toss it across the room as her mood shifted from irriated to bothered.

She hated when he goes soft like that, she hated it and carved it, sometimes she wish she didn't feel anything at her. Her emotions was all over the place and it was beginning to be draining to figure out what she wanted, why is it that when she's truely alone she starts contemplating her whole life.

Jaenara turn on her side and close her eyes, she ended to stop thinking and start relaxing. The whole point of coming here was for her to get away from all the crap going on back at King's Landing, she needed peace and calm, maybe tomorrow she go out for a walk on the beach, the snell of the ocean always calms her.

All she got to do is make sure her insufferable husband won't be there to ruin her day.

[silvervioletvalentine]

❣️~I'll be getting over you my whole life~❣️

Pairings/ Max verstappen X fem OC Cherrie

And a little bit of

Cherrie X Charles leclerc too.

Word count: 8k

Warnings : pure angst babbyyyyy. Sorry for the heartbreak guys. My bad! I was listening to labyrinth by taylor when I wrote this. Highly recommend to help with the shattering of your heart xoxo

Cherrie could only sigh loudly , her face a clear expression of irritation and unpleasantness as she looked boredly back at the reporter in front of her , yet another middle aged man who felt the need to bring up the name of someone that they just knew would bring up not so happy emotions for her .

Struggling to keep her temper under control as she glanced over her shoulder to see her best friend and assistant, the one woman who was there to make sure she didn't say something stupid or embarrass herself in front of the media , rapidly shaking her head as she made cut throat motions at her.

Clearly warning her not to say what she was thinking, not to do what she always did whenever his name was brought up to her .

Not to blow a fuse.

Well too late Amanda . She thought grimly to herself with a pissed off frown.

That fuse had been lit a long time ago and no amount of media training was going to be able to blow it out now .

"You and max are both striving to win the championship again this year. With max winning last year , do you think that you stand a chance against him? He's seems very determined to become champion once again." The man questioned her , camera focusing in her direction.

No doubt the man had zoomed in to capture the way her eyes twitched just from hearing Max's name spoken to her.

Cherrie cleared her throat in annoyance as she crossed her arms tightly over her chest , pulling her sunglasses down to cover her eyes.

Her father had always told her that her eyes never lied , and well , she didn't want them screaming 'fuck you and fuck max too!’ the camera now did she?

"I think that I stand a good chance , an even better one this year . With my new team and teammates who won't fuck me over like my last one did, I think I'll do brilliantly." She bluntly answered the question. Bouncing on the heels of her feet in annoyance , just wanting to get this whole thing over with.

She hated talking to the press because she knew that all they wanted to hear about was the drama that has taken place between her and max .

It had ruined the whole experience for her and where once upon a time she had enjoyed talking to them and chatting to them about her races , she had now come to dread them.

Because it was no secret to anyone what had happened between the two former teammates , it had been screened worldwide for everybody to see and watch her get fucked over by the one person that she had trusted and thought to have her back.

She hated herself for being so naive because all trusting max verstappen had gotten her was a lost championship.

What should have been her first ever one too and everybody knew that she should have won, it was a no brainer.

Yet something had gone wrong .

The weeks following up to that race had been filled with nothing but bickering and dirty looks from

Max , who had seemed to woke up one morning and decided that he now hated her guts.

She didn't know what it was that she had done so wrong , more than confused and hurt to why he was suddenly acting so cold and uncaring towards her now .

Because as far as she knew , they had been good friends .

He was someone that she had relied on and went to for advice . He had welcomed her into the red bull family with open arms and had been the first one to congratulate her on each milestone that she passed .

They had become known for being a machine duo on the track , both of them making it into the podiums together . Always winning side by side no matter what.

Even off the track they had become close . With Cherrie following him back to his hometown for the holidays and max doing the same with her as well, they practically spent all their free time together.

He had been her favourite person. She could admit.

He was Someone that she had highly respected and loved being around . Each race had been a good one no matter the outcome because they had each other at the end of the day.

Their quickly formed bond had become unmatched and everybody was always commenting on their closeness and how they wouldn't be seen too far from the other .

Finding it strange that Max, someone who didn't like to get to close with other people, who had made racing his life , who had pushed everyone away to focus on his career , had suddenly become so attached to her side over night.

He hated public affection . Yet whenever she was around , his arms would always be around her shoulders or her waist.

Or his shoulder would always be knocking into hers when they sat side by side as he whispered jokes into her ear to make her laugh. Looking so proud with each smile that he could bring out of her , laughing whenever she did as the the sound of her giggles were contagious.

He had refused to even let her drive herself home as well. Claiming that he wanted to be the one to make sure that she got home safely after each race , then claiming that he needed to come in to see her cat anyways .

Then he would end up staying the night , the both of them falling asleep with their arms wrapped around each other like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Because it had been.

She had thought that she had finally found someone to trust and have her back, He had quickly become a very important part of her life.

And then out of nowhere he had started acting strange. Not so nice anymore.

No longer did he put his arm around her shoulder , he didn't even come close to her anymore .

And no longer did he drive her home.

It was as though a switched had been flipped and every single piece of happiness between them began to rapidly fade away with each snide comment and blank stare he gave her .

He looked at her like he no longer wanted to even know her name. As though being around her was a chore for him.

Cherrie hasn’t wanted to believe it and every time she had tried to get him to open up and tell her why he was behaving like this , he always shut her down by simply not saying anything at all.

Just giving her a cold scoff and a rolling of his eyes before he would walk away , leaving her to wonder to herself what the hell had gone so wrong in such a short amount of time.

She had naively hoped that their friendship was just going through a phase , a trial if you will. Thinking that maybe max had some personal issues going on that was causing him to treat her this way, hoping that it would pass and that things would go back to normal and that they could go back to being friends again.

How clueless she had been.

Because that fateful day had then happened happened that completely changed her life .

It was their last race of season , one that would decide who became world champion next . They went head to head . The both of them had been pushing their cars to the fullest and Cherrie had felt her heart racing excitedly in her chest with each lap that she crossed .

She had been third place , half a second behind max when she knew that she could push even further . That she was faster than him then, she could hear her team telling her over the radio that max had been told to let her past .

As it was expected . She was clearly faster than him and needed to pass.

She had pulled her car to the left slightly , ready to overtake him as she had waited for him to pull back a little for her to pass.

Only panic had consumed her when instead of moving to let her through, he had kept pushing and closed the gap.

They had been wheel to wheel, sparks threatening to fly from the rubber as they sped around the corners side by side .

"He needs to let me pass! What is he doing?!" She had shouted down her radio with wide eyes as she struggled not to be taken off the track. Eyeing max’s car next to her in both anger and disbelief .

Their radio's had been connected and she could hear the team yelling at max too , in as much panic as she was about his sudden actions that were putting them both at risk.

"Max! You need to let Cherrie through. Shes got new wheels and can push faster! Let her through max!"

Jerking her wheel as she pressed harder on the pedal , expecting max to finally let her pass once had had realised the danger that he was putting them both in.

But that never happened .

His voice had came through he radio all low and angry and her heart fell to her stomach as she saw the sharp corner that they were coming up to next .

A corner that only had enough room for one of their cars to turn with.

"No." Was all he said before the radio went off on his side as he continued to ignore their teams demanding he do otherwise .

"No!no! No!" She could only mutter in panic .

Unable to pull back and unable to pass max without him letting her , leaving her trapped between Max's back wheel and the car behind her .

Then it happened. She saw max jerk his wheel a little to the right in her direction as they finally came speeding around the corner at insane speeds , she saw the sparks of her wheel first before she felt the end of his car ram against her side harshly .

And immediately her car went flying off the tracks and into the air . Her wheels flying off somewhere behind her as she let out a small scream of fear and shock, squeezing her eyes shut as her car bounced around for a moment before finally crashing into the wall. The front crushing and the halo only just managing to stop everything that fell on-top of her from the impact .

There had been nothing but the ringing of her ears and the harshness of her breath for a few minutes as she quickly shut off her engine and opened her eyes.

Lower lip quivering as her eyes filled with tears , inhaling deeply as she smelt the smoke bellowing out of her engine before voices suddenly reached her ears as people began to quickly flip her car back over and pulled her out .

But Cherrie had been unable to even feel anything but pure rage and hurt as she realised that this was it.

That she was out.

That she had lost the championship that should have been hers . Because of max.

Her own teammate , someone that she had trusted and cared for had stabbed her in the back and deliberately pushed her off the tracks .

She couldn’t believe it.

"He could have killed me." She had muttered to herself in disbelief as the medics pulled her away from her car that was now going up in flames .

Her head ringing with pain as she glanced over her shoulder just as the safety car led the rest of the drivers around the track as they cleaned up the debris from her broken car.

She only saw the helmet on Max's head turned in her direction before she turned away and never looked back again.

Max had won the championship and two weeks later she had announced her transfer to Ferrari. And she had never spoken to him again.

He had tried calling her at first . She had blocked his number .

He had turned up at her house , she had the number to her private gates changed so he couldn't access it anymore .

She had blocked him on all social media and refused to acknowledge him unless she had to. And even then , she refused to play nice . Refused to pretend that she couldn't stand the sight of him anymore .

She was angry . But mostly hurt . Which led to her calling him every name and every insult that came to the mind . She had made it clear to the media or to anybody that asked that she didn't like him, that she no longer had any respect for him as a person.

Max tried to play it cool to the press . Having publicly apologised numerous times , never talking her down to the media unlike she did.

She slagged him off at every chance she got . Now was no different .

All eyes would be on them again today as Cherrie prepared to be sat on a stage in front of a room full of people to discuss the upcoming season.

They had decided that both she and max , being the most talked about and the ones leading their teams to victory , were the ones that were going to be paired together for the conference that day.

She thought that they were incredibly stupid . What did they think was going to happen by pairing them together like this? No doubt the teams were hoping to make them look like a United front . The try and dampen the image of their 'rivalry' to make them look friendly again.

She thought it was ridiculous because there was no way in Satan's asshole that she was was going to play friendly with max ever again.

He had fucked her over . Made her lose the championship and for what? She still didn't know.

He could get fucked. She wanted absolutely nothing to do with him anymore .

As they walked over to the stage where two black chairs were set out with a small table between them, two glasses of fresh water placed on either side.

Cherrie couldn't help but groan as she glanced down at the text Charles had sent her , a picture of him and Lewis about to do their interview popping up on her screen making her click her tongue in envy.

Then he sent another picture of him blowing her a kiss with a cheeky look on his face .

She showed it to Amanda with a scowl on her face , looking at her assistant unhappily .

"Why couldn't I have had Lewis? Or better yet Charles?" She muttered moodily as she put her phone away after sending him a picture of her and her middle finger up.

He knew how annoyed she was that she was going to be stuck with max . Knew how much she had pleaded with their team to let her interview with him instead . Only giving her a sympathetic cuddle and apologetic kiss on the cheek when it was announced that she would have to face max .

No backsies aloud.

He had spent the morning hyping her up and telling her over and over again that she could get through it. That she was a strong woman who needed to face max in order to move on.

She knew that he was right.

She didn't have to like it though.

Amanda just glanced at her with a sigh "because they want to make it look like you and max are on good terms to the media. It doesn't look good for the brand if two of their top racers hate each other." She stated the obvious .

Cherrie just scoffed and rolled her eyes. "It doesn't look good when one of them crashes the other off the track now either does it? This is so stupid . I don't want to do this." She stated unhappily as she saw somebody else motion for her to stay put by the side of the stage while they waited for max to arrive so they could both walk out together .

Her friend just squeezed her shoulder gently "I know but you have to. Just pretend it's Charles. Be nice." She advised her .

Cherrie gave her a look , shaking her head in disbelief .

“Charles didn't try to kill me..." she muttered bitterly .

Before glancing back over to the other side of the stage just in time to see max being ushered in by his assistant , his head turning to look around the room , his eyes looking for someone before they finally fell on her.

His eyes widened for a moment before his lips parted as though he was about to say something . But before he could the the clicking of cameras turned on as they were both being pushed up onto the stage .

Cherrie walked out from the left side while max came from the right . The both of them plastering smiles on their faces as they waved at the cameras and nodded to the people in the room.

Taking a seat on her chair , she crossed her legs over each other before leaning back and getting comfortable . Not even looking over to the man beside her, yet she could feel him stare at the side of her face as they both picked up the microphone they had been given.

There was a long pause that felt nothing but tense and uneasy as no one said anything .

Neither knowing which one should speak first before max finally decided to open his mouth.

"Hello." He simply said to the reporters and fans that were there . Smiling at them a little .

His eyes glancing back over at Cherrie for a second , feeling his heart race in his chest just at the sight of her .

Taking in the tight , red Ferrari shirt and jeans that she was wearing . Her long hair let down in her usual beach waves , red nails and red lipstick to match.

Clearly making her statement .

Ferrari was her family now . No more blue .

Cherrie just smiled at the crowd instead of speaking , waiting for the first journalist to start.

A man stood up with a microphone and nodded at the both of them as the questions started rolling. From race strategies to new helmets and cars , they both took turns answering the questions that were asked of them.

It had been going quite well until about half an hour later when the journalists got more comfortable with getting down to the drama that they were all clearly waiting for.

"Cherrie this questions is for you." A smart dressed man had started . Looking at her seriously "how are you settling into Ferrari? You and Charles seemed to be getting along well. Making a great United front for the team." He said.

Cherrie sat up in her chair a little as she cleared her throat and nodded her head. Seeing max turn his head to look at her from the corner of her eye .

Inhaling deeply before she smiled "it's going well yes. My team is amazing and I've bonded really well with them. And Charles too. We have a great friendship and I know that I can trust him and that we race well together. Even off the track he is an amazing guy. I feel very lucky to work with him." She rambled on truthfully .

She adored Charles . He really was the best teammate she had ever had .

The man picked up on her wording of trusting her teammate quickly and ran with it .

Following up with "I'm glad that you're settling in well. I can't lie and say that I'm not a little surprised that you seem to have trusted Charles so easily to have your back. Especially looking back at your past with your other team." He didn't beat around the bush.

Max tensed at the clear point out to what he had done .

Inhaling sharply as he felt his heart sink to his stomach at the reminder of his badly he had fucked up.

Glancing over to watch as Cherrie refused to even look at him. Merely raising her eyebrow and letting out a small hum.

She laughed a little "well Charles isn't max." She bluntly said making Amanda facepalm from where she was stood watching from the side of the stage.

Clearly knowing that it was all about to go downhill and that there was nothing she could do about it now.

Max just pursed his lips and shifted in his seat uncomfortably. Frowning over at her as he felt the sting from her words hit his chest.

She had never even given him the chance to apologise or even try to explain.

He knew that he had fucked up and all he wanted to do was go back to the past and change his impulsive decision that had cost him not only his best friend but his teammate too.

But he couldn't do that and he knew that he would be regretting his actions for the rest of his life .

He just wished she would let him talk to her so that he could at least try to fix the mess he had made .

The journalist frowned "can you elaborate on that?"

Cherrie frowned as well. Sighing a little too loudly , this time she looked over at max to see him already looking back at her , his eyes unreadable as he stared at her .

"I mean that they're two different people that I've worked with. And I know that Charles won't run me off the track. I don't have to fear for my life racing beside him." She explained to him casually .

Not looking away from max as she watched his face fall at her words , swallowing audibly before he finally looked away.

The man who asked her the question thanked her before another man took his turn.

Clearly eager to pick onto the tension that was now filling the room between the two drivers , he looked over at max .

"And what do you think about what Cherrie has just said? Do you think that she's better with Ferrari than she was in redbull with you as her teammate?"

Max took in a deep breath as he chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment . Trying to push past his own feelings so that he could answer clearly.

Fiddling with the microphone in his hand as he spoke "I understand why she thinks that. But I never intended for that to happen. I didn't and never had wanted to hurt her or put her life at risk." He looked at Cherrie firmly as he spoke .

Needing her to understand that he hasn't deliberately set out to put her at risk. He didn’t want to hurt her.

It had been a stupid split second decision fuelled by anger and jealously , bitterness had clouded his mind and took away his rational thinking .

He had blinked and the next thing he had knew , he had seen nothing but her car being flown into the air before it crashed into the wall and into pieces, smoke quickly blocking his sight of her .

His heart had sunk to the bottom of his stomach the moment he had done it . Panicked and upset as he tried to get his team to tell him if she was okay.

They hadn't answered him at first , clearly shocked and angry with what he had just done.

He had regretted it every second since.

"And I think that she'll do well no matter what team she is in. It doesn't matter how good of a car you have if you aren't a good driver . And she is so.." he trailed off not knowing what else to say.

He couldn't exactly cry and grovel on his knees to her in front of the whole world . No matter how much he felt like doing so.

Cherrie just scoffed beneath her breath, an action that the journalist picked up on.

"Anything to add?" He said.

Cherrie just rolled her eyes. "No." She lied.

She had plenty things she wanted to say. None were suitable for camera.

The man chuckled a little to try and ease the tension. "So I guess it's safe to say that their is no love lost between you two?"

Max sighed quietly . Feeling himself grow more upset by the minute .

This was the closest he had been to Cherrie in months . And he could feel just how much she hated him just by looking at her.

It broke his heart . But he knew that this was his own fault . His own stupidity had done this .

"I have nothing against her . Nothing but respect . I admire her as a person and as a driver. I hope that one day we will be able to become friends again, to put the past behind us." He spoke slowly and honestly as he looked over at Cherrie. Taking the chance to talk directly to her while he could .

Because he knew that as soon as they got off this stage was that there was a chance that he could never get this chance again.

Cherrie shook her head at him as she met his eyes, pursing her lips in anger as she glared back at him. Heart clenching in her chest.

How dare he? She thought angrily. He was the one that had done this. and she didn't even know why!

He had turned on her . Crashed her car off the track which could have killed her! He had been nothing but be an asshole , even before that cursed race had started!

And he wanted her to just move on and let it go?

"And you Cherrie? Do you think that you two could become friends again?" The man asked her.

Cherrie let out a humourless laugh, shaking her head . Ignoring the way Amanda was motioning for her to stop it.

"Absolutely not. I'm not his friend and never will

Be again. I don't need backstabbers in my life anymore." She casually said as though she wasn't slicing him down with each word she spoke.

Max inhaled sharply , frowning over at her .

“That's not fair." He muttered away from the microphone but she still heard him.

Snapping her head over to him with a scowl, glaring back at him. Pain filling her at the reminder of how much she had cared for him.

She would have done anything for him. But he had just turned on her out of nowhere , stabbed her in the back like it was nothing!

"Fair? You want to talk about fairness?" She hissed are him furiously "what's fair about you trying to fucking kill me?!"

He glared back at her in frustration, turning his body to face her fully .

"I didn't try to kill you! I've tried to tell you this! It was an accident . I wasn't thinking-" he tried to explain. Ignoring the way his team was motioning for him to shut up as well.

She laughed mockingly "clearly! You just wanted to be a winner and knew that I would have won so you have to eliminate me from the race didn't you?!" She shot back at him. Forgetting where they were for a moment .

Max's eyes widened , is that what she really thought of him? That he stabbed her in the back just so he could win?

"That's not true ." He shook his head desperately "not at all! If you would just hear me out -"

She abruptly stood to her feet , cutting him off. Throwing the microphone down on her now empty seat , she sent a grimace over to the crowd .

"Sorry but I can't do this ." She apologised to them

Angrily as she stormed off the stage. Hearing max say her name as he rushed after her .

"Cherrie please listen to me!" He called out to her as she pushed through the doors into a empty meeting room, cursing to herself as she picked up her phone that was ringing and quickly turned it off .

Not doubt she would be in for a nasty telling off later but right then she couldn't find it in her to care.

Feeling her heart pound in her chest, anger and hurt feeling like a lethal dose as she struggled to think straight . Struggled not to turn right around and punch him in his stupid face for putting them in this position in the first place .

Why did he have to do it? Why did she have to be so fucking stupid to have trusted him in the first place?

"Cherrie.." he muttered out uneasily as he slid into the room after her , slowly shutting the door behind him and leaning against it so that she had no way to run off before he could explain again .

Yet as he looked at her there in front of him . Looking back at him with teary eyes and hate written all over her pretty face , he felt everything he wanted to say fade away. His mind going blank.

Instead all he could croak out was a weak "I'm sorry." As he placed his hands over his face and tried not to cry. Trying to pull himself together and face what he had done.

Cherrie just looked back at him for a long moment , leaning her back against the wall behind her as she watched him press his knuckles into his eyes , his breathing as heavy and as erratic as her own was.

Feeling that part of her that still cared, that would always care about his well being , rise quickly up in her as she watched him try not to unravel in front of her.

"Max..." she could only sigh. Conflicted . Not knowing what she was supposed to do or how she was supposed to react now that they were face to face like this.

"Don't cry. You don't get to cry about this ." She muttered while uncomfortably glancing away from him, shaking her head stubbornly .

He sniffled before peering up at her with a small , hurt scoff  .

"You don't think I'm upset? You don't think that this is affecting me too?" He ran his hands over his face in frustration. Crossing his arms over his chest as he looked back at her .

She hasn't changed at all. Even dressed in red and glaring back at him hatefully , she was still so beautiful it almost made him angry.

Did her new teammate spend hours gazing at her in awe like he used to? Did he get to see her in the mornings with no makeup on as she stumbled into the kitchen with nothing on but a large shirt?

Did he get to see her when nobody else did? In ways that no one else knew existed?

He hated himself for being so stupid and throwing it all away , if only he had talked to her .

If only he had told her why he was so upset ... maybe then she wouldn't have been looking back at him like she didn't know him anymore .

But she did know him. She was the only one that truly did.

"How do you think I feel then max? I trusted you and you stabbed me in the back! And for what? Just So you could win?" She was rightfully angry at him.

He could only shake his head pleadingly , taking a step closer to her . Wanting to reach out and take her in his arms like he used to, only this time he wouldn't let her go so easily.

"I saw a text on your phone from Amanda . That she had arranged a meeting with Ferrari to talk about your transfer..." he blurted out what had triggered his behaviour in the first place.

Feeling stupid and utterly ashamed as she stared back at him with disbelief in her eyes .

"What?" She breathed out. Brows furrowing in confusion . Remembering that she had woken up to a empty bed beside her that morning , no max In sight when her assistant informed her of the meeting.

It hadn't been definite then. Not before that disastrous race it hadn't .

Max swallowed audibly "you didn't - you didn't tell

Me that you wanted to move teams. I thought - I thought we were a team. That we worked so good together . Why would you want to leave?" Leave me went unsaid .

Cherrie scoffed a little , shaking her head at him in frustration and hurt .

"I didn't!" She finally admitted then making him freeze "i was just keeping my options open. My contract was ending and they called me in just to make an offer ." She told him honestly .

At the time of the meeting she had never thought about leaving redbull. More than happy with her place there .

But then her best friend and teammate had suddenly turned his back on her . Had pushed her off the track and left her no choice but to leave.

She couldn't have stayed there , not anymore. Not after that. It hurt too much to stay.

Max exhaled shakily , shaking his head quickly in denial.

"No. No. You-I thought that you wanted to leave. That you were just going to leave without telling me. I didn't know-" he couldn't believe how wrong he had been.

She hadn't been abandoning him. Hadn't been using him until something better came along. She hadn’t stabbed him in the back at all.

He was the only one who had done that. To her.

"No." Was all he could breathe out. Feeling sick as the realisation that this really all was his fault suddenly sunk in.

Cherrie realised what had really happened then too. Shaking her head at him , upset .

"You thought that I was just going to run off to Ferrari without even telling you? I didn't even want to go at first but you left me no choice in the end max..." she whispered to him.

Swallowing down the lump in her throat , unable to look away from him as she watched his whole face crumple in agony .

His legs could no longer hold his body up as he lowered himself down to the floor on shaking legs , a sob breaking free from his chest as he cried into his knees . So full of shame and guilt . It was killing him.

"God i am so sorry! I didn't meant to .. I wasn't thinking Cherrie!" He cried to her , looking up at her with a face full of guilt.

“I was just so angry. I thought that you were stabbing me in the back and I just - I didn't think at all-" was all he could repeat in tears.

Cherrie slowly lowered herself to floor beside him, leaning her back against the wall as she stared straight at the floor below her tiredly. Sniffling quietly.

Unable to believe that this whole mess had happened because of miscommunication.

If max had simply just talked to her about the text that he had seen... if he hadn't had run her off the tracks and took away her championship from her so easily...

"You could have killed me max . My engine went up in flames from the impact . You could have seriously hurt me all because you read a text on my phone and didn't think to talk to me about it first …before you started treating me like I was shit underneath your shoe.." she breathed out .

Just so exhausted with harbouring the anger and hurt she felt from how cruelly he had treated her.

So tired of feeling this way.

Max squeezed his eyes shut in shame "I know. I should have just talked to you but - I didn't and I just -" he struggled to find the right words to explain how crushed he had felt at the time. "I thought you were going to leave me. And abandon me like- I cared so much about you that the thought of you-"

Cherrie shook her head again. Frowning at her shoes as she thought about how Charles would no doubt be blowing up her phone now, losing his mind with worry .

There was no way that he hadn't seen their disaster conference by now.

He would be so worried . No doubt pacing the room and making up the worst case scenarios in his head to why she wasn't answering her phone .

Because he cared .

Yet he would talk to her about his worries. Ask her about what he had seen or thought , he wouldn't just ignore her and treat her like shit because of a little misunderstanding.

He would get to the bottom of the issue first. Then he would make sure she was okay and he wouldn't leave until he knew that she was back to herself again. Even if that took forever .

Because he cared . Yet he didn't treat her like max did. Like she was exposable . Like she wasn't worth speaking to if she accidentally upset him. 

He would just tell her so and she would apologise , then they would move on. Because that's what people who cared did.

They didn't hurt each other like this. Didn't treat someone like shit. Didn't almost kill them by crashing them off the track because they were upset .

No amount of excuses would ever make up for what he did. He had put both of their lives at danger that night and truth be told their friendship had been over before then too.

It was over the moment he treated her like she was nothing .

It was over the moment he threw her away like their friendship had been disposable and her time was up.

She hadn't done anything wrong. Hadn't deserved the way he had treat her . Hadn't deserved to cry herself to sleep each night as she wondered what she had done wrong . Why he was treating her like this.

She hadn't deserved any of it. She realised it now.

"If you cared so much then why didn't you just talk to Me? You meant everything to me max .. I would have done anything for you." She whispered to him. Unable to look at him anymore .

Max's lip quivered as he sucked in a shaky breath.

Looking at the side of her face tearfully as she refused to look back at him, instead she had her phone clutched in her hand and was staring down at the floor with her lips pursed.

"Don't please . You meant everything to me too-"

"You threw me away like I was nothing max! You don't do that to people you care for . God-"

He grabbed onto her hand desperately , panic filling him as he felt her pull away from him , not only physically but emotionally too.

"I loved you Cherrie!" He almost shouted in desperation . Needing her to understand why he had done it . Even though it didn't make much sense at all.

“I was in love with you and I thought you were just going to leave me -"

Cherrie couldn't believe what she was hearing . Turning on her phone and waiting for the screen to load as she put it down on the floor between them and covered her face with her hands , trying not to cry.

She had wasted enough tears on him. She was just so tired of crying. She didn't want to do this anymore.

"You loved me so you had to hurt me? You loved me so much that you crashed my fucking car?! How does that make any sense max?!" She almost screamed at him, so fucking tired of this shit.

She shoved him away from her when he made a move to touch her again.

He didn't get to do that anymore .

"I wasn't thinking! I didn't mean to . I was just so angry at the thought of you fucking me over like that - that I just - I just blinked and the next thing I knew your car was flying through the air!" He shouted back, upset and ashamed of himself . There was no other way to put it.

He had fucked up. He knew he had .

Cherrie let out a humourless laugh . "So that makes it okay? You were angry and you crashed my car . You could have killed me. Because you assumed the worst of me. Because you didn't trust me." She shook her head at him sadly .

"You don't think about someone you love like that max . I know. Because I loved you . And I trusted you and I never once thought the worst of you until that day. Even when you were being cruel and pushing me away I kept giving you chances. Kept hoping that you would be nice to me again and that things would turn out okay ..." she exhaled loudly with annoyance towards herself for letting it slide so easily.

She deserved better than that.

Max struggled not to break down into sobs again, looking at her with tears in his eyes. Heart sinking deep in his chest.

"You loved me back?" Was all he could whisper .

She finally looked at him then. Smiling sadly "'course I did. Otherwise why else would I let you treat me like that and still have hope in you? Love makes you naive sometimes ..." she muttered quietly .

Max felt like he was going to be sick.

He had come after her in hopes of fixing things and starting over but he had a feeling then that that wasn't what she wanted anymore .

His time had run out .

Yet he still tried , he had to . "I still love you. I'm so sorry Cherrie. If you just give me another chance-"

Cherrie cut him off before he could even finish. Inhaling deeply as she told herself that this was the right thing to do. She couldn't let it keep hurting her like this forever .

She had to move on and in order to do so she had to finally let the past go.

There was no use in clinging onto something that had been over for a while now .

Didn’t she deserve to finally be happy? To be free of this hole in her chest that he has carved out in his name?

"No. I can't. I've come so far now max..." she decided to be honest with him too.

“I felt like I had nothing when you threw me away. Felt like I was nothing but then.." she exhaled shakily as she thought about how much her life had changed over the last year and a half .

How her darkened days had suddenly turned so bright and warm again. As though the sun had been placed in her heart where the max sized space had been left.

"I got a second chance . And I felt what it was like to have a teammate who trusted me. Who boosted me up instead of putting me down. Who didn't make me feel like one wrong word would make him leave me. I didn't have to walk on eggshells around him.." she smiled a little at the thought of him.

“I didn't have to mould myself to what he liked because he liked me on my own. The bad and the good .. who doesn't treat me like shit when something doesn't go his way.." as she talked her phone lit up with an incoming call, vibrating between them.

Both of their eyes went down to the picture of Charles and her that was lighting up her screen.

In the picture the both of them were lying back in her bed under the covers with their heads pressed together , Charles was looking down at her with a grin of adoration on his face as she laid there with a bright green face mask on her skin. Mid laugh as Charles took the photo.

Max felt his heart break in his chest. Exhaling shakily as the phone call came to an end , not even a minute letter a text popped up on her screen from him.

Please call me back as soon as you can mon amour.

I'll wait for you at home. Everything is going to be okay. I love you no matter how crazy people think you are for going berserk on live tv!

P.S your dad is worried . Please call him back too. I can only distract him for so long bébé! X

He swallowed audibly . Watching as Cherrie picked up her phone and typed a reply , her face softening as she read what Charles was typing to her.

Max just let out a sad chuckle , wiping at his tearful eyes with the back of his hand. The last of his hope draining away .

Of course Charles loved her. Who wouldn't? She was perfect . The type of woman men could only dream of spending their life with.

And he could have had that. Could have been the one that she was smiling down at her phone at . The one that she called home .

But he had ruined it . He was the only one to blame this time around.

She had moved on.

He have a feeling then as the pain in his heart only grew , that he may never would.

He was going to love her forever .

"You love him?" Was all he could whisper  to her. Not sure he even wanted to know her answer .

But she gave it to him anyway. She thought that he at least deserved to hear the truth.

"I do." She smiled a little just at the thought of Charles as she saw another text come through , this time of him asking her if she wanted pasta or pizza when she got home.

Home being her apartment . Her apartment where Charles had made himself at home in. He had half of her closet and three of her draws .

He had taken a load of her clothes over to his apartment too without even telling her. Simply transferring their things into both of there apartments until it was equal.

Home is with you. He had whispered one night to her underneath the covers on the bed of another hotel room while they were in another country again.

Doesn't matter where I am. As long as you're with me, I don't care.

And that had been that. Whenever she went , Charles followed .

And she didn't have to beg him to spend time with her. She had finally found someone that couldn't stand to be away from her.

Who got upset when they didn't see each other. Who always wanted to hangout . Who always wanted to talk to her about everything and nothing at the same time

He actually liked being around her . Without her asking .

He loved her without any conditions or rules. He loved her like it was the last time he would ever get to do so, yet he treated her like every time was the first time too.

She finally felt what it was like to find a lover in your best friend . To not have to fear loving someone or being loved in return.

Because loving Charles was easy.

Loving max had brought her nothing but pain.

And she knew who she would choose. With no hesitation in her mind.

So as another text light up her phone , Charles sending her a picture of himself cuddled up with her cat in her bed .

She pushed herself up off the floor with a smile , feeling like a weight was being pushed away from her shoulders as she extended her hand down to max to pull him up too.

"He loves me max . Really loves me. And he likes me too." She told him softly as she looked up at him with what could only be called a look of acceptance and closure .

She was finally ready to move on.

Max sniffled quietly as he squeezed her hand three times , lips quivering as he tried not to break down and cry again.

Not while she was still there.

"And there's nothing I can do to make you stay?" He asked her in a whisper . Voice breaking.

But Cherrie just smiled and shook her head sadly at him. Reaching up to gently kiss his cheek goodbye before finally pulling away.

"Not anymore . He's my person. I can feel it. I can feel his love for me max." She told him truthfully as she slowly walked over to the door. Ready to turn another page in her life again.

"I never felt your love. And what is love of you can't feel it? Goodbye Max." She pulled open the door before looking over her shoulder at him one last time.

"I forgive you."

And then she left.

And as the door fell shut behind her , max fell to his knees with a pained cry. Because he knew then that he had lost the love of his life.

But unfortunately while she may have been his, he was no longer the love of hers anymore .

He was too late.

[fappellmoan]

ok um i am going to vent on something as someone with an outside perspective and people are going to be normal about that right. okay lol. im sick of hearing about taylor swift <3 as compared to a few years ago even she is like... suffocating. and i feel like we never advance this conversation because on one hand we have people who swing into full misogyny when talking about her, and on the other we have people who won't admit that she blatantly uses feminism to deflect from her problematic behaviors, or at least they won't like, do anything about it, and in this way she sort of ends up misleading a lot of young girls into like. girlboss liberal white feminism. im not saying shes a supervillain for it but you can't deny the ramifications of what she does and doesn't speak up about, just given the absolutely massive platform she has. she is the biggest pop star in the world

for the record, i don't expect taylor to be like. a normal person. she was very famous from a very young age and people aren't normal about teen/adolescent stars, especially when they're girls and women. she had her personal drama aired out in front of the world, had so much misogynistic dialogue surrounding her, from demeaning her success to interrogating her dating life (and never holding the pedos who preyed on her at a young age to any sort of standard!) and for many years people weren't very critical of that. it was normalized to be trashing this young girl's name and saying vile shit about her to like the entire nation and i dont blame her for being like, a little off after that. and yeah i also don’t think we should look to celebrities as our end all be all of activism and opinions on sociopolitical issues

but we've gone full swing into like. she is so famous and so big that her actions can be harmful and she does these things anyway because she doesn't expect her fanbase to hold her accountable, lest they be acting like the very sexists who tried to ruin her career. at least i imagine that's what the thought process is like, at least at some level, but at this point it's just like. this woman makes so much money. so much money it's ridiculous. idk how y'all fathomed paying so much for concert tickets but like i'll give props that they at least seemed to have some insane production/theatrics... so like alright. there's that.

but she is reselling the same songs. sometimes that don't sound that good. and making more money off that. yes yes to 'officially own them' and whatever. and releasing vault tracks and other versions of albums with different songs on them. but never all the same bc u need to collect them all. and the thing is some of them are like kinda bad. but you listen to them anyway because we live in a time of overconsumption/consumerism in late capitalism and it's like trendy and fun to be able to tell what song of hers is playing in the first millisecond. sorry or just your personal attachment to her. and don't say it's embarrassing to be a taylor swift fan these days she's like. so huge. and some of you equate embarrassment with having to hear criticism toward her. which might not be as common if swifties idk stepped it up and actually expected something from her?

which i guess is getting me to my main point here. can you imagine like. what would happen if taylor swift actually said anything about palestine? or anything of value in the world right now? no one's asking her to be a fucking scholar on it but genuinely sorry there’s like a genocide. several. the most documented real time genocide of our time i don’t care if it makes you upset that people expect something from her. she is time's person of the year. she has everyone from young girls to lesbians to gay men to bored football wives to dads to well fucking etc you get the point tuned in. she has dabbled in so many different spaces done so many collaborations aligned herself with so many entities who can keep up? if she, as massive as she is right now, posted something as simple as 'free palestine' or called for a ceasefire, can you imagine what would happen? i can’t help but think about it when day in and day out my feed is filled with screaming people being pulled from rubble or having their limbs amputated.

but she won't, because, quite frankly, what does she have to gain from it? she’s teaming up with the nfl right now to make some more money, she's gotta have at least like 4 new albums recorded in the last two years and at least um what three more that you're expecting? and she doesn't even have to like? write new music really? (edit: oh boy!) why the fuck would she be doing anything with her time other than poisoning the planet with jet fuel to visit her pr boyfriend?

taylor swift is never gonna be punk or what the hell ever beyond like a white liberal-at-best moderate woman. but if any of you could talk to each other and talk about, like, organizing in ways that it would be impossible for her to continue to ignore these situations, and just keep playing her tour FILM (how could i forget) in israel and etc, like if you could flood her socials or do a mass movement (and it would be massive given the sheer amount of peoples' top artists she's in) of not listening/buying/interacting with her stuff, until her agents and whatever had to make some sort of statement? like that's the only chance we've got with her

i'm not saying don’t be her fan, or listen to her music, or have an attachment, etc, but she's been around enough vile, anti-feminist, racist things this past year that y'all DO need to hold her accountable. like way more than you do. or it's going to be like really difficult to. tolerate it. haha. like you SHOULD be vocally and loudly disapproving of her actions when it causes a lot of damage overall. speaking up about her insane climate irresponsibility when we're having the hottest years on record is not the same as the people who felt the need to like pick apart her dating life on the news. but can we talk about how she's officially like. circled back and now is purposefully making news about her dating life? for her personal gain and that of the fucking nfl? lol. in a way it is funny for her to ‘take that power back’ in a way, of her image, and i think that’s how some people might view it, but like on the other hand she obviously is gaining a lot from this. you know. a lot of actual money. she is going to profit off this image of her being misunderstood etc for as long as u guys allow it and well i just think that has run its course. yk

continuing into 2024 (edit: and now with the release of a new album!) i don't want to see swifties automatically exonerating themselves from difficult conversations because like they feel like their fave has faced enough unwarranted criticism. or bc other people should also be criticized. much of it is warranted! and you guys need to grow up and be able to talk about it and stop painting taylor swift's face as like the Pinnacle of feminism. she doesn't and shouldn't have to be, and she isn't, and she should in fact be held accountable when she does really fucking shitty things on account of they're shitty! i don't care that she's a woman! it's like that meme of oh yay a woman democrat sent these missiles. oh yay a woman is massively damaging the planet and proudly dated a violent misogynistic racist, and faced minimum criticism for these things over and over because your only comeback is ‘well what about’ if a man did the same thing, etc, you refuse to just look at the situation we do have. yes we should. we should do that we should hold men accountable but you can also like not accept awful fucking behavior from your faves when you have a chance. do you think that’s helping feminism genuinely. use your voice use your power (your money) to like. do something for once. i cannot keep living in the taylor swift echo chamber.

and for the record. i like enjoyed taylor like back when i was a young girl and she had a few songs on the radio, and i honestly even had a moment where i used guys' opinions on her as a first step to navigate who i felt safe around in a very hypermasculine sexist college space. because yes. some people do need feminism 101 and some people's genuinely misogynistic rage will be demonstrated in their hatred of taylor and her success. but at some point we gotta move on from that. if some people will look at the most powerful woman in the world, who has enough money to stay away from them and an extremely massive loyal fanbase watching and supporting her every move - if some men take out their hatred on her, a powerful white woman, how do you think they view and treat women who are not white, thin, "conventionally"/eurocentrically attractive, or accessible to cis/het audiences?

anyway i hope that i can bring a conversation to the swiftieverse cause i honestly believe u guys could have comparable impact to like. bts stans. maybe. if you put your minds together for a good cause. and we don’t have to do the oppression olympics or whataboutisms or WHATEVER for forever. can we please move the conversation forward does anyone else feel insane with like where we’re at

on that note, i really do think now is the perfect moment for you to disrupt shit with your voices and demand better from her. it might not save the world, but it could make a huge difference in changing peoples' minds

okay um. thanks 👍

tldr i can’t do another year of swiftie discourse i just can’t please if there is a god out there help us

[zincsishere]

The lilymation and think before you sleep drama

...why is the world filled with CUNTS??? Another reason why I don't really share my opinions with people.

This is for the lily fan to keep supporting her and attacking the people in my comments with the rude insults. leave them alone!!

My point with this whole thing is:

1. Lily is in the wrong. You DO NOT send other people to attack someone, no matter what they said about you! You guys are assholes! (I'm talking to a certain amount of people). Just because you don't agree with someone politically or you don't agree with someone at all doesn't mean you attack them or try to affect their source of income when they didn't DO ANYTHING. Sharing your opinion shouldn't be a death sentence.

If you don't agree with someone, try to talk to them first and see if they're worth arguing with in the first place. Most of the people that I was arguing with made the argument pointless and meaningless. It just became a dick measuring contest that I got swept into. I'm an angsty, emotional 14-year-old, and sometimes I let my emotions get the best of me and say shit that I shouldn't be saying. That is my fault, and I'm trying to stop doing that. I'm going to encounter a lot of bad people in my life. That doesn't mean I have to get down and start arguing and fighting with them. Most people just want to fight because they want to fight.

This is more of a personal opinion, but I will say it anyway.

2. TBYS wasn't offensive, and I don't even have to defend him. He defended himself. He made a video explaining himself with evidence to show that he wasn't acting like an asshole or being malicious; he was just giving advice.

This drama is old, but I need to set the record straight. Having opinions (that are well supported with evidence) doesn't make you an asshole, and it doesn't mean you should be attacked! People were trying to show me that he was a "bad guy."

But the evidence they showed me was bullshit. He didn't insult them. He didn't say anything rude. He wasn't doing anything worthy of cancellation. Like I said, I won't accept BS from someone just because I like them. ( aka Melanie Martinez < allegedly sexually abuse someone > and Ariana < she wrecked a relationship then made a song about it saying that she doesn’t care >) If there were something worth incriminating him about, I would've stopped being a fan. But, as I said before, just because someone might be an asshole doesn't mean they deserve to be harassed.

No matter how many times I fucking say this, NO ONE IS LISTENING. DON'T FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE! No one deserves to get hurt or harassed just because of their opinions! "BUT HE SAID-😟😟" "BUT HE DOESN'T SUPPORT—😡😡" "HE'S A BIGOT—-👹👹👹" (coming from someone who has never watched a single fucking video)

Respect... shut up, please. I don't care if you like the guy or not, but what Lily did is not acceptable, and you can't defend that. That doesn't make me a dick rider; it makes me someone who has half brain cells left.

him potentially being “shitty” doesn’t matter. Hold People accountable for their damn actions.

Other people are making videos about this topic, and I'm so glad Lily is getting the consequences she deserves (she doesn't deserve to get doxxed; fans are crazy), but the rest is karma. I'm still waiting for a ukulele apology from that girl.

I'm turning off the comment section. If you DM me insults, I'll just report you. You're clearly not worth arguing with.

P.S. What I mean by he didn't do anything. I mean, he didn't sexually or verbally abuse or assault someone. He wasn't a crackhead doing drugs on the street and putting up fight with fags (I'm a homosexual 😐). He wasn't going around cussing out everyone he knew and saw; he wasn't going around shooting up schools. He was sharing his opinions (opinions that are well supported with science, articles, and experience) and putting people in their place when they were being rude or disrespectful. That's why I like the guy. You don't like him, that's fine, but you can't sit here and defend Lily like she's not an asshole herself. She's just a depressed one. (That sounded really rude, sorry lol)

You think the video fucking sucks. you think he fucking sucks. OKAYYYY but don’t act like Lily’s actions were agreeable just because you didn’t like his video or because you don’t agree with what he said. if you wanna argue about that, just go to his channel and confront him about it. he would happily defend his ass.

-Not the lily fans threatening to hurt and rape me yet I’m the bad guy here for not agreeing with someone trying to hurt and harass someone’s career then they want to claim that ALL TBYS fans are “right wing, dumb asshole who are bigot and ignorant” :) I’m turning off my notifications

Before you say anything, you have no idea who I am. Stop saying that I support Lily being doxxed or getting raped. I never said that. I said Lily should get 'consequences for her actions'. I have said countless times that I don't support her getting rape/doxxed threats and neither does thing before you sleep. ( you guys all know by now how crazy and obsessive fans can get when it comes to their idol or their favorite person. those types of fans can’t be controlled even if the creator actively tell them to stop. ) ( this should be argument lily should get consequences for her actions as a YouTuber she knows how crazy fans can get yet she actively told her fans to go harass and flagged a smaller creator because he didn’t like his video he could’ve gotten death threats and rape threats from her young fans. ) She ACTIVELY told her crazy fans to harass without watching any of his videos he told his fans to leave her alone. HOW IS SHE INNOCENT HERE?!?!

You guys keep putting words in my mouth, just finding excuses to dehumanize and make me be viewed as a bad person just for disagreeing with you. I'm a young SA victim, and I was almost raped at a very young age. The fact that you guys skipped over everything that I said just to assume that I condone raping and doxxing is beyond me. I'm saying this again “I DONT WANT LILY TO JUST DOXXED OR R@PE THREATS NEITER DOESNT SEAN (TBYS)”

Thanks before you sleep wouldnt actively go out of his way to make Lily because he wouldn't benefit from it, and because he wouldn't do it. he's not that type of person. Please just watch the video. ( without anger/hate and LISTEN TO WHAT HE SAYS ) because if you actually did watch the video, you would know that it wasn’t hateful or misleading of Lily’s character things that he said about her character are things that she said about herself.

Old non-crazy fans of Lily agree with think before you sleep because they actually watched his video and see that there were something wrong with.

He complemented her and explained parts that he liked about her and gave her advice (more like his fans) about health and fitness, since he has a lot of experience in that area. That's all he did - give constructive criticism and advice. He didn't tell his fans to actively go attack her. While Lily didn't watch the video and told her fans to go to his video that she did not watch, mine you, to go for reported cyberbullying. YouTubers work very hard on their videos, editing and scripting. That to just go down the shitter, and he wouldn't get paid for the work. And Lily is an online creator. She should know that if she's gonna send a huge number of people to go report his video, they're going to do way more than just report his video and they're gonna harass the living shit out of him. You're telling me that she, “a person who is a victim of cyberbullying and harassment because of someone that she used to be friends/dating a manipulative and crazy person”, doesn't know how crazy people can be about their favorite creators to the point of bullying and harassing someone to suicide? She had to go to a freaking mental hospital because of it and you’re telling me that she did not know what she was doing ???l I know this information because I'm an old fan of hers. Her videos brought me comfort, and I watched tons of her videos. I'm still shocked by this behavior. How are you gonna send your crazy ass fans to go bully and harass someone? You were just bullied and harassed yourself online to the point where you had to go to the mental hospital. Like, she is fucking deranged or something.

I truly believe she did that with malicious intent and tried to frame herself as a good person getting bullied by this 'bigot misogynistic fatphobic racist YouTuber.🥺' She knew what she was doing. She should've talked like a proper adult instead of getting a massive group of 2000 people to secretlyharass and ban his video. I wish you could see it how I see it, but creators know what they're doing with these parasocial relationships. The video was harsh, but it wasn't spreading any lies. He gave his evidence, his sources, and he was nice but constructive. Yeah, it's kind of unwanted advice, but it's his video. He can do whatever he wants on it as long as he's make center whole campaign of people to hurt her.

 I