#i keep thinking about him

[starkidsonnets]

the moist star, upon whose influence neptune’s empire stands

edward nashton x reader (kinda)

| contains : edward tweaking

| word count : 1625

| note : similar ideas to "тоска," but youre included ! i like exploring edward's obsessiveness and delusions. i swear i'll write more reader-inclusive stuff soon, i js dont have any ideas lol

Edward’s mind was a stormy sea, perpetually churning with doubts and fears that never quite settled. Thoughts crashed against one another like waves in a tempest, each one more anxious than the last. There was hardly a moment of peace; every word or movement or glance was just another flaw of his to internalize, or another reason to add to the ever-growing list as to why he hated everyone. Though, in the stillness, when the world faded to a hushed whisper, his worries took flight. He dissected the smallest interactions, convinced they harbored hidden meanings, each glance a judgment, each word a slight. What should have been mundane became a labyrinth of disquietude, where shadows loomed larger than life. To Edward, thinking was less an adventure and more a prison, each thought a heavy stone weighing down his spirit. He was trapped in a cycle of over-analysis, where the simplest decisions spiraled into agonizing deliberations. There was very little he didn’t scrutinize, as the fear of the unknown gnawed at him, turning the world into a treacherous landscape filled with pitfalls at every turn. 

Despite the turmoil swirling within him, Edward clung to the belief that his mind was his greatest strength – his only strength, really. In a world that often felt chaotic and unforgiving, his intellect was the one refuge he could count on. It was a sharp blade, slicing through the fog of uncertainty, a beacon of light in his shadowy thoughts. He often found solace in the complexity of his ideas, reveling in the intricate webs he wove with his imagination. When faced with challenges, he would retreat into the labyrinth of his own mind, seeking clarity amidst the confusion. He could dissect a problem from every angle, exploring possibilities others might overlook, his thoughts a flurry of colors on a grayscale canvas. It gave him a sense of control, and, dare he say, superiority. In a world where he held zero significance – to anything, anyone – he found some twisted comfort in the fact that he was smart. It was a slight delusion of his, of course. 

“What do they know, anyway? I-Idiots, all of them…”

Still, even he could not deny the rare euphoria of silence. In those fleeting moments when the cacophony of his thoughts quieted, a profound stillness enveloped him like a warm embrace. It was a sanctuary, a pause from the relentless tide of anxiety that typically swept through his mind, leaving him breathless. 

In those rare moments, when he got to see you.

He had first seen you on the subway during his regular commute home from a mindlessly gruelling day at work; an ordinary journey that had transformed into something extraordinary in the blink of an eye. The train rattled through the dim tunnels, a cacophony of voices and clattering metal, but in that moment, all sound faded into a distant murmur. It was as if the world around him had suddenly paused, holding its breath to witness this fleeting encounter. He couldn’t particularly remember how you managed to catch his eye – to anyone else, you were nothing extraordinary. Just another body riding the subway, a transient figure in a sea of anonymity, nothing to take a second glance at. Nothing but another face in the crowd, a mere collection of features blurred by the rush of life. Edward, had he not been so fatedley observant, might have fallen victim to the same tragedy as those who passed you by without a second thought, who might never realize that beneath your unassuming exterior lay a depth of something indescribably enticing. 

To him, you were an enigma, a spark of intrigue that ignited something deep within. You stood there on the subway, simply minding your own business, yet somehow you managed to captivate Edward in a way that felt almost surreal. Your presence was unassuming, a quiet strength that commanded attention without any effort. You didn’t do anything remarkable – just leaned against the metal pole, lost in your thoughts, but in that stillness, you radiated a calmness that cut through the cacophony of the train. There was a grace in the way you held yourself, an effortless poise that drew him in. Your eyes, gazing out the window or perhaps lost in your own thoughts, held a softness that felt inviting. It was in that gaze that Edward found a rare stillness, the kind that made him forget his worries, if only for a moment. He couldn’t explain why, but something about your presence brought a sense of peace he had long thought unattainable.

He couldn’t think. Physically, he could not. The chaos of his racing mind had suddenly come to a grinding halt, as if someone had pressed a mute button on the world around him. In that moment, clarity and confusion were indistinguishable, and he felt an unsettling disorientation. He wasn’t even sure he was breathing, as though the very act of inhaling had slipped away from him, leaving him suspended in a strange limbo of thought and sensation. Time itself felt distorted, stretching and compressing in ways that made no sense. Every sound – the distant rumble of the train, the murmurs of passengers – seemed to blur into a single, muted note, reverberating in his ears without truly registering. It was as if he had entered a dreamlike state, where reality faded and the boundaries of his mind began to dissolve.

Panic fluttered at the edges of his awareness, threatening to pull him under, but it was countered by an unexpected stillness, a weightless quality that enveloped him. His heart raced, yet it felt distant, as if it were a drumbeat echoing from far away. He could feel the subtle rise and fall of his chest, but it was as if he were watching himself from a distance, an observer trapped within his own body. Thoughts that usually spiraled and collided in a chaotic dance were replaced by an eerie quiet. In that silence, he was struck by a profound sense of vulnerability, bare and exposed, as if the world had stripped away all the layers he usually hid behind. All because of you. 

He watched you exit the subway soon after, the recognition returning to your tired eyes, lost in your own daydreams, patting yourself down as you stepped onto the platform to ensure you had all of your belongings. As soon as the doors slid shut, the world – the noise –  suddenly came rushing back, flooding his hollow shell of a body.

This was the case the second time he saw you, too. He noticed you standing there again, the familiar silhouette framed against the dim lights of the subway car, and something inside him stirred. A mixture of excitement and a creeping sense of obsession. Each time you appeared, it felt as if the world fell away, and the chaos of his thoughts faded into the background, allowing him to focus solely on you.

And the third. He found himself timing his commute just to catch a glimpse of you, his heart racing as he stepped onto the platform, scanning the crowd for that unmistakable presence. The way you tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear or how you smiled softly to yourself as you read something on your phone, each detail etched itself into his memory. You had become a constant in his life, a calming force amidst the storm of his mind.

And the fourth. By now, he was no longer just an observer; he was a silent participant in your routine. He would position himself at the same spot on the train, hoping to catch you in moments of stillness, your gaze lost in thought. You were unaware of the effect you had on him, how your presence pulled him from the depths of his anxieties and anchored him in a world that felt increasingly chaotic.

He watched you with an intensity that bordered on obsession, each encounter fanning the flames of a yearning he didn’t fully understand. You were a puzzle he felt compelled to solve, a riddle that intrigued him more with each glance. He began to memorize the subtle patterns of your movements, the way you leaned against the pole when the train lurched, or how you chewed on your lip as you stared at nothing, daydreaming or simply tired from the day. He’d think about your lips on his skin, if they’d soothe the constant ache in his bones the way your mere presence silenced his mind’s agony. The thought melted away the tension in his chest, burning his insides up to black char. He’d save the idea for later tonight, when things got lonely and cold. 

Yet, as he sank deeper into this fixation, a nagging awareness flickered at the edges of his consciousness. He knew it wasn’t healthy to feel this way, to rely so heavily on someone who didn’t even know he existed. But the pull was irresistible; you were the only thing that managed to quiet his relentless thoughts, even if only for a few precious moments.

He needed you more than the tide needed the moon, an unspoken truth that coursed through him like the pull of a hidden current. In the vast expanse of his life, you were the celestial body that governed his every wave, guiding him through the tumult of emotions with a gravitational force he could scarcely comprehend. He needed you with an intensity that transcended reason. You were the anchor that kept him tethered, the whisper of the universe that promised solace amid the storm. Without you, he was but a wandering wave, yearning for the steady embrace of the moon that would quell him. Silence him. Adore him, as he has adored you. 

[analogboii]

y'all I'm never recovering from changbin's latest stage appearance at the festival

HIS ARMS??? LIKE ARE YOU JOKING??? UGH HE'S SO UUGGGHHH

these pictures dont even do justice cause theyre just screenshots. y'all gotta look at the videos im going feral

[sol-consort]

Thane Krios has to be the luckiest man alive to stumble upon true love not once, but TWICE during the same limited lifespan he's been delt by life.

Do you realise how rare it is? Not only was he not looking for love when he found his wife, but it came seeking him out the second time around as Shepard. Most people spend entire lifetimes searching and never even get a glimpse of genuine unconditional love, the suffocating devotion kind.

Don't even get me started on how he hit the jackpot in terms of children, his adult son has EVERY right to condemn him for the neglect he's suffered through courtesy of an absent assassin father, and yet despite all the anger, range, and resentment, Kolyat does the most difficult act of all, forgiveness.

Three times, this lucky motherfucker has managed to find unconditional love a third time! From his own son nonetheless! I know people who'd rather cut off their arm than talk to their parents ever again.

He claims his purpose was for killing, that he's been made to end lives, and it's all he ever knew, and yet his true purpose shined through despite it all—to be loved. Thane was made by life to be loved, as a husband, a friend, and a father. Love sought him out time after time, found him through the lense of a sniper rifle, at the end of a still-warm corpse, during a standstill with the police.

Someone who's lived his life, done the things he's done, ended these many people in cold indifference, shouldn't feasibly have this touching of a funeral, this graceful of a death, its warmth overpowering the cold sterile hospital room.

He didn't change for a reward. That's what you don't understand. The love was there from the start ever before Thane switched his life around. The love saw him as worthy even before he became the kind person he is today. Thane changed because he wanted to, because he was unhappy, and never asked for anything in return for the great effort it took for someone as horrid as he was to become this soft, the suffering it took to become this gentle. He wasn't looking for forgiveness from his estranged son, or a second soul to love him after the loss of his dear wife.

Yet those things still came to him all the same. Because it was written, it was his fate. To be loved beyond reason and circumstance.

[leaffiii]

More Aatrox scribbles

[dalvs-wife]

(through grit teeth) i have never been more normal about a man in my life

[that-dumb-dinosaur]

batman is so fucking cool (such a fucking loser)

[b-r-i-n-g-x]

Two types of people who made a deal with the TV

[cvptainbucky]

i hope louis is okay :(

[madame-mongoose]

I’ve never been super attracted to android Wheatley, I prefer the core and the chassis, and I am so sorry for what I’m about to say but when you first plug him into the chassis I feel like I’m going to Act Up. Call me anything you want but the second I start his tests I want to do anything to hear him praise me again.

No see anon I get you. I am usually like. A strict canon only enjoyer. But something about that one design... im not saying his name bc he flocks to these fuckjg posts. But ooooh my god that wheatley is so big. And he's soft andm I need to like. Press my han ds into his stomach and I need to squeeze him and feel him and. oruhdhdh. okay i need to stop. anyway yeahg praise wrecks me worse than him being mean to me like. same same me too pls tell me im doing a good job wheatley ouhdhhh

[lastmidtownshowmp3]

*head in hands* mike carden is such a babe

[gojonanami]

thinking so many thoughts about professor gojo when I should be thinking about my bodyguard fic…

….goddamn it

[youraverageaemondsimp]

Ewan is actually a hazard for me rn, because I literally cannot focus on studying at all, and my head is literally filled with him and everytime I do a practice a question paper, I stare at it for like 15 minutes because all I'm thinking about is Ewan Mitchell which makes me eventually not do the question paper anymore 😭😭

[jeonqkooks]

a fucking concept: dilf obs jk

[urhoneycombwitch]

chat should I go back to that ice cream shop I went to on vacation (the one with the very hot ice cream slinger. a la s3 Harrington. minus the shorts) under the pretense of asking if my friend’s sunglasses are in their lost and found. but actually it’s to maybe get his number. is that insane or

[venomgender]

how did juwon even get to where he is hes like. the worlds worst detective. literally all of his inferences were wrong

[astoryofsuchwoe]

vic engaging in so many activities that could ultimately kill him in the end.. but he doesn't care about himself as long as his family stays safe.. sdgoisdfgho.