#i keep seeing gay pirate shit everywhere now

[yeahthatswhatimtolkienabout]

Um i'm sorry but why do all these words describe Izzy?

If you must know I'm desperately writing my GO s3 fic so I can peacefully move on to writing OFMD fics ;)

[mizufae]

Can I just say, tumblr is the ONLY place online that could remotely be considered “social media” that I have not been forced to think about the depp debacle. Like, there was even an ask metafilter question about how to keep the stuff from showing up on recommendations in other sites, therefor forcing me to think about it again. And even now, I’m doing exactly that to you, here, and for that I am truly sorry. But like, fucking seriously. Every sidebar, every block of sponsored links, every round up of popular things or stuff that is trending or things some algorithm thinks I “might like”, it’s there. It’s creepy, and awful, and I have never had a single moment of interest in his real life personality, and barely even heard of her at all, and now I’m aware of so much of their shit just from my eyeballs glossing over headlines and video titles. I am very lucky in that I’ve never had an abusive partner, and my parents are each others’ best friend, so I can only imagine what it must be like to have this story splashed everywhere for someone struggling with any aspect of that experience. Like, what about all the people who have had to see their parents fight? What about the people who have been abusers and worked hard to change and don’t need this shit reminding them of everything they wish they had done differently? What about people who are deliberately trying their best to break a cycle of abuse? Anyway, thanks for being cool and into gay pirates or whatever, tumblr.

[starlocked01]

Sweet Dreams are Made of This

AO3

Masterpost- Previous- Next

Summary: All Remus ever needed was his life of adventure, being chased from port to port with his brother by his side. No soulmate could compare to the life he loved. But still, he wanted to know who his compass pointed towards.

Content Warning: Alcohol use, Cussing, Implied Sex

Day 19 Rem^2-  Everyone is born with a compass that points in the direction of their soulmate.

Sweet dreams are made of this Who am I to disagree? I travel the world and the seven seas Everybody's looking for something -Eurythmics

Remus loved the open sea and was positive his soulmate did too. He hoped one day their ships would land in the same port but even then he wasn't sure what would change.

He hung from the rigging and felt the salty air on his chest and face. Who could give up life on deck for a life on land? He didn't often wonder about the misery of finding one woman in one port and staying there for the rest of one's life. That was someone else's dream; he was already living his.

He hoped that his soulmate was as happy as he was roaming the world. All the better for both of them if they never met.

Remus checked his actual compass to ensure the ship was on course then checked his soul mark compass. Surprisingly, the ship was coincidentally following the soul mark compass as well. He shrugged and pulled his sleeve back down over the mark before swinging down the ropes to the deck to report to the captain.

"Captain Mercadante, we're on course and the skies look clear. We should be seeing land by nightfall," Remus grinned as he dropped the final few feet to the deck.

"Fantastic, thank you, First Mate Remus. I'll be glad to have this particular job finished," the Captain looked relieved with the report, "these waters are infested with naval ships. It's a miracle we've avoided the sight of any so far. Got any plans for shore leave?" the captain smiled with a knowing wink.

"You know me, a dozen sailors in every port," Remus gave a sly wink right back.

"Yes, my brother, the whore," the captain laughed, "now go make yourself useful somewhere, ey?"

"Aye aye, RoRo," Remus saluted as he dropped down below deck.

"That's Captain RoRo to you!" Roman laughed and made busy checking on the rest of his crew. Just because they were constantly skirting the law didn't mean they couldn't have fun with it. He and his brother had dreamed of sailing the seas since they were young and it was every bit as adventurous as he had hoped.

The crow's nest spotted land an hour before nightfall and Roman made the call to pull into port the next day.

Remus watched his soul mark stay steady as they pulled in. Perhaps his soulmate really would be onshore. It was a curiosity for him at best, to know who the compass on his skin pointed towards. He had more important things to worry about, including not letting the crew crash the ship. He rushed to correct a mistake before it cost them a week on land making repairs.

That night Roman stayed aboard finalizing the payment for the job while the crew was given leave onshore. Remus stayed on board as muscle in case the deal went south, but luckily the sponsor was well satisfied and paid without complaint.

"Appropriate reward for hard weeks of work," Roman grinned, "now get out of here, you've more than earned shore leave, Remus."

"Just like you to always be trying to get rid of me," Remus was practically already over the side of the ship, eager to enjoy the night drinking and flirting.

It wasn't long before he was in a tavern and dancing on a table with a mug in hand. Every patron was either laughing at him or shaking their heads in amusement. He couldn't get enough of their attention. As the musician by the fireplace finished the song he made a deep stumbling bow and jumped off the table, intending to replace the ale he'd spilled everywhere during his careless dance.

Before he could go anywhere, a stranger slid up to him with a knowing grin. Remus smirked back, head swimming in booze but knowing exactly what that look meant.

"Hey, sailor. You know how to have a good time," the man was suave, clearly soberer than Remus.

Remus winked, "you want to have a good time?" It wasn't his best line by a long shot but he was feeling pretty dizzy.

The man laughed, "okay, leave the flirting to me. Want some fresh air?" he was toying with the edges of Remus' collar. Remus nodded and let the man pull him out of the tavern.

"You're a pirate," Remus wasn't sure what prompted him to declare it as they walked along the wharf.

"So are you, what are you gonna do? Call the authorities?" the stranger snorted at the ridiculous notion.

"Why'd you pick me? Half the men in that bar would have had you," Remus could feel himself starting to sober up just a bit. He was still stumbling every step but his thoughts were more in order.

The man didn't answer. Rather he stuck his hand out to Remus, "my name is Remy. What's yours?"

"Oh hey, name buddies!" Remus dramatically threw his hand to his chest, "I'm Remus."

Remy laughed, "see? I didn't even need to know your name to know you were special."

"Flattery will get you everything," Remus laughed, loud and raucous compared to the soft whisper of the low tide lapping at the piers.

"How much for the night?" Remy smirked.

"Tell me I'm pretty."

"That's gay."

"So are you."

"You're pretty."

"I thought you'd never ask," Remus grinned wide, grabbing Remy by the wrist and pulling him in close for a kiss.

The innkeeper had seen everything and didn't need to ask questions; she simply showed them to a small dingy room towards the back and thankfully away from other better-paying customers. As soon as the door closed behind her knowing eyes, Remus collapsed on the bed, never taking his eyes off of Remy.

Remy looked nervous as he undid the buttons on his shirt, "we need to talk."

"About what, sexy?" Remus grinned.

"The soulmate thing."

"I don't give a shit if you don't," Remus was unfortunately used to this hesitation from others.

"No, not like that," Remy spoke softly, pulling off his shirt and turning his wrist so Remus could see it. The needle was fixed decidedly towards him.

"What are you trying to say?" Remus sat up, hand instinctively drifting to his own wrist.

"Check yours. Out of all the men in that bar, it was only going to be you, Remus," Remy sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed next to him.

Remus pulled up his sleeve. His own compass was pointed directly at Remy. He waved his arm in a wide arc from side to side and it stayed trained on the man in front of him.

"No way…"

"Bitch, you better believe it! Not that I was looking for you, but here you fucking are," Remy's eyes shone with the pride of accomplishment.

"Imagine that, two gay ass pirates finding each other on a nowhere island without even trying," Remus laughed and pulled Remy in for a long kiss. This time Remy kissed back and pushed him back on the bed.

---

Remus woke with a pounding head. He had been far worse hungover before but it still hurt to move. He could barely remember their conversation the night before, but one look at his compass proved it. The man lying next to him was his soulmate for the first time in his life.

Fuck.

What would this change? Remus sat up on the edge of the bed and creaking caused Remy to stir from his own sleep.

"Oh my gawwwd, good morning," Remy had a curiously soft, sassy, sleepy tone that cracked into Remus' heart.

Fuck.

What if he fell in love with his soulmate? Remus could hardly force himself to think. Roman would hire the man, almost no questions asked if Remus asked him to, but would Remy drop whatever job he already had for him? Would he abandon ship to join Remy if given the chance? What did he even want-

"You were so good last night, thank you," Remus felt nails running softly along his spine. No matter what he couldn’t leave without saying a word. But what could he say?

"Remy…" he faltered as quickly as he had started.

"I know," Remus heard the bed creak as Remy sat up, "ships don't ever wait, do they?"

Remus turned to face his soulmate and realized that whatever happened, they had to make the decisions together or forever regret what had happened.

"Remy, thank you. You were the one who found me," Remus tried again.

"That's right," Remy grinned at him.

Remus took a deep breath, "where do we go from here?"

Remy shrugged, "back to our ships? Hope we end up in the same port again someday? Pick a ship and sail off together? Buy an inn here and settle down? Where do you want to go?"

Remus thought about it and knew his answer, "I can't abandon my ship or my brother. And I can't ask you to abandon yours."

Remy laughed, "maybe I should like.. rob you blind so you stop giving me those puppy eyes. Don't tell me you fell in love last night. I'm good but I'm not that good."

"No, I didn't," Remus smiled and leaned over to kiss his neck, "I fell in love this morning. And I'll fall in love all over again the next time the winds blow us together. I'm glad we met, Remy."

"You are the biggest sap that ever pretended to sail the seas!" Remy pushed him away playfully, "next time you better have a much thicker skin."

"Is that how you say 'I love you'?" Remus laughed.

"Nah, this is how you fucking say 'I love you'," Remy pulled him into a passionate kiss, hand running through his hair and down his back. Remus pulled his soulmate in closer, memorizing every inch he could feel and smell and taste.

They broke apart and started sorting through the mess of clothes and personal belongings. Remy jokingly pocketed one of Remus' chains with an exaggerated wink. Remus kissed his nose and told him to keep it while not very slyly grabbing one of the man's rings off his finger.

The two walked back to the wharf without saying much. Remy stopped at the edge of one of the docks and gave Remus a long look over.

"See you in the next port, sailor," he grinned, fingering the "stolen" chain around his neck and turning toward a ship already bustling with preparations to sail.

"That's right you better run, thief," Remus rubbed the "stolen" ring on his pinky and turned to leave. He glanced at his soul mark as it pointed straight behind him then glanced up to where Roman was welcoming the straggling hungover crew back on board with loud barking orders to prepare to set sail. He jogged to reach the plank before it was drawn back into the ship.

"Fun night, Rem?" Roman grinned as Remus barely made it on board.

"The most fun a boy can have," Remus grinned back, glancing over Roman’s shoulder to the ship Remy had boarded.

"Did you meet someone special?"

"You could say that. Where're we headed next?" Remus focused back in, ready for their newest job and next adventure.

"I'll tell you when it's too late for you to jump ship," Roman clapped him on the back before returning to barking orders at the rest of the crew.

Remus rubbed the ring on his pinky again as the wind filled their sails and they pulled out of the dock back towards the sea. He knew he'd find Remy again but he was content with their one night together until then.

After all the sea was calling.

Tag List: @stoicpanther @ifrickenhatedeverythingaboutthis @idontgiveafuckaboutshit @tsshipmonth2020

[vectortothehairgel]

I got super drunk and tried to explain the plot of Kingdom Hearts: Part 2

-Ok so now we get into the original Kingdom hearts game! When you walk away you don’t hear me say PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE OH BAAAAAAAAAAAAAYAYAAAAAAYAAAAYABY 

don’t go 

-And so it starts with the same little sproggots you saw in birth by sleep! Except they’re like fifteen, which is the perfect age to be stupid little shits and try to go off on a raft when you coulda asked one of thier dads (who exists in birth by sleep btw, we never talk about that for some reason? I guess it’s not as funny as Sora’s mom who still needs JUSTICE btw) to take you out to see the world?

-Anyway before they can go die at sea, Riku meets a handsome Dark Lad (who’s been there since Xehanort and Eraqus played chess) and was like “Hey you wanna sacrifice the world to see new things?” And Riku was like HELL YES and then Sora went to go find Kairi and she was all sleepy and decided to take a nap at Hotel De Sora’s Heart.

-Leon is there and he’s like “HUrr durr I’m Edgy” and Yuffie’s like “Hi I’m a cinnamon roll” and Aerith is like “Hi I’m a precious baby” and then Donald and Goofy are there like “hey where’s the King” and then they fly into the sky and hit Sora in the head adn Sora’s like “well that’s as good an introduction as any” And they go yeet themselves all over the cosmos.

-The gummi ship was really shitty back then but it never stopped anyone. Also why didn’t they use the gummi heartless to tak eover the worlds? Like fuck you and your magic lamp I have a giant ass pirate ship that’s five times the size of your world and will blast you to smithereens if you don’t stop talking shit. Again, they never asked me probably because I was like five at the time.

-Anyway they go into the gotdamn deep jungle for the only time. That’s the only world that thye did right cause they never have to go back there and thank god because if I have to hear fuckin he hooo hoohooha again I’m gonna split.

-Anyway they also go to Olympus and Cloud Strife is there like “Hurr Durr I’m even EDGIER than Leon who is also here to fight in the tournament but we never see each other or speak” and then Hades is there like “mhmhmhmhhmmhmmhmHMMHMHMHMmhmhmhmh” but he fails in the end cause the power of the Keyblade and Friendship.

-Sora Donald and Goofy (I didn’t use commas cause they’re introduced like that literally everywhere and now exist as one entity in my mind) go to all of the worlds

-And all the keyholes are locked except for in KH2 when they’re not. All this time Sora’s been like “Riku no :(“ And Riku’s like “RIku YES >:)” and he keeps working with Maleficent and the disney villains to be evil and smeaky snek. Like Invi? Riku is Invi 2020!! Haha no.

-Also He’s been kidnapping princesses left and right to open the door to Kingdom Hearts, except it’s not actually the door to Kingdom hearts cause Kingdom Hearts exists in a nebulous concept between light and dark and life and death and love and birth and peace and war on the planet earth :) so what he actually opens is the door to the Realm of Darkness. Mickey is there, idk why.

-Maybe that’s why the keyholes had to be locked again!! Cause they weren’t locked on both sides! My wife probably locked them offscreen cause she’s a badass.

-I’m gay but who isn’t for Aqua amirite?

-And then Kairi brings him back with Princess of Heart powers that are never explained. You’d think a game called Kingdom HEARTS would spend more time discussing the powers of heart but no they spend more time on wierd close ups of Jafar’s face in KH2.

-Anyway Kairi’s back, Riku’s gone, and both Sora and Kairi are okay with drifting away from each other as the worlds reform after Ansem dies from the World’s Strongest Headlight Laser Beams (But not before someone can time travel and grab him for the real organization thirteen!! Why you ask? Fuck you) 

[tadcoopers-throneroom]

Modern day AU?

Alright lets see what I can come up with. I’m going to come up with as much as possible

Main

Madalena would be a politician.  No one expected her to rise to the top so quickly considering her background of a lower class family during college but like a month into office everyone knew she would be a major player.

Richard was supposed to be a major political leader like the rest of his family but after a scandal that his wife madelena may or may not of orchestrated his career was ruined. And soon after Richard and Madelena got a divorce.

He moved back to his hometown and re-met his childhood best friend roberta and got married and started a family.  He returned into politics years later.  In the hopes of redeeming himself and to help improve life for the common folk.

Gareth was also Richard’s best friends.  I’ll say they met when Gareth became Richard’s body guard during his political career.

He fell in love with madelena after the divorce she and richard had.

This caused a rift in there friendship but Richard did forgive him.  It took a while though

I’ll say galavant grew up the same way I did.  He is a military brat like me.  His dad served in the army and because of this they moved around a lot because of this.

They stopped moving during his high school years. His mom and dad got a divorce and Gal didn’t see his dad again until he was like thirty.

He and madalena were high school sweet hearts. She dumped him for Richard in the hopes that his family ties could elevate her political career.  Which left him heart broken. Since he was planning on proposing to her when she got a job instead he gets to see her on tv with other men.

He joined the military like his dad and when he became a general he had to go to a meeting with his superiors.

It happened to be the same place Isabella was.

She is an ambassador to Valencia.�� She and Madelena are debating which country owns a right to the jewel.  Madelena thinks she owns it because of the fact they are occupying where the jewel was held before the invasion and well the jewel belongs to valencia for millennias.

Her and gal started talking during a break  during their jobs and got into a heated debate.

They bicker on and off during this period of Gal and him arguing with superior and Madalena and Isabella’s debate.

But they grew on each other and exchanged numbers before the debates were over.  They got married and sid was the best man

Isabella huge supporter of lgbtq rights.  She always was but after meeting Sid she became more vocal.

She also met Jubille when Sid and Jubille met during a pride rally.  He thought they would make a cute couple before her and Gal dated.  Didn’t work.

Sid was orphaned as a baby and has no memory of his parents

He was raised by a Jewish couple in a very small town that was mostly filled with extended family

He was very loved and was made sure he would never forget

Even when he didn’t want a reminder that he was loved.  He got a reminder.

Sid joined the millitary when he was 18 and served directly under Galavant. 

After Galavant and Isabella became friends he asked Isabella to pretend to be his girl friend for a few weeks in the hopes that his parents will stop asking about a girl friend for a bit.

Isabella agreed and had fun.

They never “broke up” though because galavant managed to convince sid his parents wouldn’t care about him being gay.  They would just nag him about getting a husband.

And they did.

Some Random head cannons less story base or I didn’t think this until after I did character headcannons so a bit more random. Some might be stupid but I’m coming up with this as I go and some are awesome

Sid is the most active on social media

Sid is a major fan boy and collects all the action figures

Sid also volunteered a lot in his community

his mom set him up on a lot of awkward blind dates before finding out he’s gay.  

Actually the awkward blind dates didn’t stop but now it’s with men

if sid does get married best man is Gal

Richard is bi but doesn’t know it and had a crush on Gareth without realizing it

Sid assumed Isabella was mspec because he always had a habit of befriending queer friends growing up but also knew she like boys

and yes he also assumed gal was queer

Roberta got in multiple fights because a kid was bullying richard growing up

Attempts were made to set Isabella up for an arranged marriage but they always fell through (100% of the time the fall out was izzy’s doing)

The wedding planner gets paid for dealing with journalist for Madelena.  But his family was in the wedding planning buisness and he helps out on occassion and plans big fancy political parties for Madalena 

Gareth though can be ruthless helps keep Madelena’s morals in check when she does politics

Madalena is the ruler

Gareth and her became a power couple

Richard never became as political strong again after the scandal but became a mayor of a small town and him and roberta were adored.  

Enchanted forest is still a gay bar but it went all in the enchanted forest theme.  Like it was bat shit insane some of the concotions they came up with. From drinks to interior design. ( the bar actually looks like a forest and the drinks look like potions for ex.)

Gareth was best man during Richard’s wedding and vice versa

though Richard avoided madelena as much as possible during that time

Madelena is a fashion icon her face and outfits are plastered everywhere

the musical numbers on galavant would be pop hits and played on the radio.

off with his shirt is a favorite in the enchanted forest because the singer was a lesbian that lived near the bar

she stops by and visits the bar on occassion

she doesn’t buy any drinks

the pirates were a “gang” but it’s mainly a bunch of friends doing stupid shit in their teens.  But they are still a gang even if they didn’t break any laws

galavant’s dad works in children services and adopts several children himself

Galavant and Isabella live in Valencia but travel a lot after Galavant retires and they visit sid a lot

Gal and Richard met because of Isabella’s political career

And they got drunk and bitched about Richard’s bitchy brother.  he married Madelina after Richard’s divorce but got ill from some mysterious disease soon after the wedding

Roberta teaches self defense classes

And Richard knows his wife can kick his ass and loves it

Richard mentioned that his wife does this during a town hall meeting and that she’s great at it.

Soon it became a popular class for women and she makes a town full of kick ass women

some men joked about it being spinster island so Isabella got a sign for her that says spinster island

Roberta hangs it up

Richard thinks it is hillarious

the jester is a comedian who occasionly writes songs for his act

also rumored to have an affair with Madelena while she dated richard

Richard never got his jokes

Madelena seemed to like him so Richard took her to all his shows

[mangosdoodles-moved]

1, 4, 11, and 13 for hetalia? spill the Salt

I can’t wait to get crucified by the fandom!! :DD ALJGLKGSJLGSKJL JKJKJKJK– To everyone reading this, keep in mind that this is my OWN opinion! My intention is just to vent and rant about my experiences with the Hetalia fandom, so you can either take it or leave it alkjgsjlskg–

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

The incest ships.. Just.. no. I don’t care if they’re adopted siblings, or even cousins, that shit makes me SO uncomfortable on so many levels–

Also, FrUK. Why are y’all so desperate to ship them? They act so hostile towards eachother?? Maybe there’s something I’m missing, but just?? Why?

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?

Alright, are you ready for a salty rant, because this has been bothering me for several years and the biggest reason why I’m isolating myself from the fandom in general– 

…I don’t like GerIta.

Now, I get why people like them together, I really do. Opposites attract, and they have an interesting chemistry on-screen, that’s true!! But.. I just see them as friends, and nothing more? Instead of an actual couple, I see them more as the type of best friends who act like an old-married couple, but it’s 100% mutual platonic love?? Like, they’re soulmates but in a platonic matter? Just a hilarious, yet wholesome BrOTP, right? HOWEVER, the fandom decided to shove this ship down everyone’s throats by constantly acting like this ship is canon. They’re EVERYWHERE, and I MEAN E V E R Y W H E R E.

Let me explain: GerIta is like the My Little Pony of the Hetalia fandom. You are not safe from seeing this ship. You can blacklist it all you want, but you WILL see it anyway. Even when you search for something that isn’t related to it whatsoever, you’ll somehow end up finding it anyway! aND THAT PISSES ME THE FUCK O F F ALKGJSLKGJLSG– 

And don’t get me started on Buon San Valentino and the HRE theories–

I’m not saying that people should stop shipping them, but could you guys at least?? tone it down?? like?? jesus fucking christ??

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

The female characters. Stop saying they’re “ruining the pwecious yaoi uwu”. Just. Stop. Seychelles is one of the cutest characters out there (and a good choice for an MC in the Gakuen Hetalia game!!), I would die for Liechtenstein, Belarus if fucking hilarious, Ukraine deserves better, and Hungary is one of my favorite female characters?? Why haven’t I added her as a platonic/QPP F/O yet?? Fuck?? Just stop bashing them, they want some love, too!!

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

I can’t choose, so I’m going to do unpopular takes about Iggy, Italy, and Germany!!

Why is England always the “sub” in every ship he’s in?? Sure, there’s AsaKiku, but the rest?? Why?? He’s a gentleman, and he was a PIRATE, he could fucking kill you if he wanted to! And don’t you dare say “b-but we need a sub in every ship!! who’s gonna be the feminine role in the gay relationship, if not him??? uwu”. He’s a grown-ass man, and you sound low-key homophobic. Please don’t–

Speaking of which, why is everyone in the fandom treating Italy like a child?? I get it, he’s a lovable idiot, but that does not mean he’s 100% innocent?? He knows how to flirt, I mean haVE YOU HEARD HIS PICK-UP LINES IN THE DUB?? Just because he’s nice and forgiving, it doesn’t mean that he’s a five-year old for acting that way!! 

And now, the big one.. Stop. Treating. Germany. Like. He’s. A. Tool. Just. So. He. Can. Be. Italy’s. Love. Interest. Stop treating every single GODDAMN moment of Germany like he’s referencing to Italy/Romano/Whoever the fuck you ship him with! That man has a life, too!! Let him be himself! Let him to do things for himself! Let him be a three-dimensional character, too!! Why is that so difficult for some people?? 

[aedyre]

Ohhh, I was about to go to bed when I saw @ariela-of-aedyr‘s ask meme :D decided to do it now and not wait for asks since well... bed, and technically it’s Thursday here already :’) also i just wanna babble about my baby

1. What did your Watcher make of the Deadfire Archipelago? Was it their first time there, or had they been there previously? 

First time! Alfaris had never actually left the Aedyr Empire before the start of POE1 and hasn’t even seen all of the Empire at that. His first impression was pretty much “ugh so much ocean and see travel I don’t like boats-- OH GREAT I’M ALREADY STRANDED. awesome.” He... still isn’t that keen on it by the end, though he gets used to it. He also doesn’t like how the archipelago is run very much and could do without everyone and their mother vying for power against each other instead of addressing the very obvious problems being had. He did like the weather though! At least better than the Dyrwood’s.

2. Did they have a favourite location?

Not... really. Neketaka probably comes closest by virtue of being the biggest city around, but it also has both the Gullet (which pisses him off because the Roparu have such shitty living conditions) and the Kahanga palace (which pisses him off because he does not get along with the Kahanga royals :’D). Other than that he liked visiting small, unimportant villages that just peacefully existed. And the Engwithan ruin the Wahaki live in, because of the Thaos mural.

3. How about a favourite companion? Or a favourite NPC? 

Of the new Deadfire crew, definitely Tekehu 😛 He’d endeared himself to Alfaris by the time they entered the Gullet together and Tekehu expressed his shock and dismay about how the people there are treated, and after that they got to comforting handholding really fast which was some wonderful gay shit. (...Also I just like it as a romance trope. Loved it with Aloth in the first game, loved it here, it’s good.)

As far as NPCs go... he rather likes Director Castol and Flaune Elette because he likes their idealism and vision. It’s why he very firmly sided with Castol during the company meeting, which should have been clear to the governor from the beginning -- “Ah yes, this extremely idealistic person who wishes to help people and has no interest nor need in making money (because he comes from money and is essentially never without it) will surely side with my profit oriented leadership over another idealist visionary!” ...Yeahhhhhh, no.

4. Was there a companion or an NPC that they just couldn’t stand? What was it about them that irritated your Watcher? 

None tbh. Alfaris is relatively easy to get along with and to go into the “I can’t stand you” category you need to be a huge dick. (And if your name is Thaos, even that isn’t enough :P) He’d butt heads with Vatnir and Ydwin over ideology, philosophy and theology --though in Vatnir’s case he’d mostly want to help get Vatnir away from Ryrmrgand and more comfortable -- with Ydwin he’s lowkey “well you’re wrong about the wheel but I guess you’re entitled to your wrong opinion :/”, but he doesn‘t dislike either of them. He also wishes Serafen would “talk normally” and Maia ends up leaving because he sides with the Vailians, but they get on well until then.

5. Was your Watcher glad to have Eder, Aloth and Pallegina back again (if indeed they did)? Was there any other companion that they would have liked to have back in their party? 

Yes!! I mean, Aloth is one of his bfs and Edér and Pallegina are his bffs. He wouldn’t mind any of the others except Durance back, though he especially misses Sagani and Kana.

6. What was your Watcher’s ship(’s) name(s)? Did they enjoy being Captain of a boat? Would they rather have been back at Caed Nua?

.....I can’t fucking settle on a name tbh. Last playthrough it was The Prince, named by his mum the Mecwyn when she heard that he would like a nice big ship with maybe a lot of cannons because there are pirates everywhere here, mother, can you believe it? But that wasn’t all that creative and is subject to change if I think of something I really like after all :D

He... didn’t exactly enjoy being a Captain, because traveling by ship is not his preferred method, but he also wouldn’t have preferred being at Caed Nua -- he was getting close to done with what he could do there to help and would have installed a steward before long anyway, and the Deadfire is where he was needed now.

7. Did they have a favourite quest or side quest? How about a least favourite? 

I’d say no real favorite -- there were moments he enjoyed, like being able to help Biha, or get medicine for the sick Roparu, but nothing where I would say “Yes this entire quest is something he loved”. Similarly there were a lot he really did not like, but it’s hard to point to a specific one -- shoutout goes to Nemnok’s though because he got really damn pissed about the whole “oh let’s sacrifice our children to our new god” thing. a) No!!! Just no!!!!, b) dammit Thaos, once again proof your entire plan didn’t work because people are *still* doing this shit. The sacrifices ended up being all right after all, but the spirit of it still made him mad :P

8. Did your Watcher find romance, or close companionship, in the Deadfire? If so, who did they get close to, and how did that relationship develop? 

HOO BOY does Alfie ever have companionship :D I don’t often care much for polyshipping, but he’s a big exception to that. Admittedly, hc wise he was already in a relationship with Aloth, because screw this dancing around your feelings for 5 years stuff in their case (and honestly, no way Alfaris wouldn’t have made sure to keep in contact with Aloth, while Aloth was off hunting down the Leaden Key!). He’s already close to his past incarnation too, though Caolan’s part of their soul ends up being kidnapped by Eothas and thus not around for a big part of the game.

And then there’s Tekehu, who, along with Aloth, is basically tailor made for Alfaris :P Sweetheart who wants to help people? Sad woobie who needs emotional support? A big sub? Yes. Good. Perfect. Alfie was making hearteyes at him by the time they left Neketaka together after dealing with the mess in the Gullet. Tekehu was similarly drawn to the Watcher rather quickly (he’s so easy to raise affection with...) and they talked a lot about the Deadfire and about the Huana and whatever was going on in their quest(s) at the time. Then his last fears that maybe Alfaris wouldn’t want to or couldn’t give him what Tekehu wanted were laid to rest when Alfaris revealed that yeah, actually, he is a dom and he likes taking care of people and giving them what he needs and literally everything Tekehu just described as seeking in a romantic and sexual partner is something he’s happy to give.

9. Which faction did your Watcher side with in the end, if any? Was there a particular reasoning behind their decision? 

The Vailians! The pirates were never in the running despite Furante’s attempts, Alfaris was already annoyed with Onekaza and her brother over the Gullet and Onekaza’s behaviour (please stop trying to do ~banter telepathically kthxbye), then she sent him on a menial errand to get Mairu (”I’m a visiting foreign Prince but ok, maybe this is some cultural difference I don’t get”) which resulted in him freeing the dragon and then him and Onekaza slinging insults at one another. “It’s a poor ruler who doesn’t recognize what is under her feet” gave me life and him too for getting it off his chest :’)

And when it came down to Rauatai vs the Republics, he decided that animancy was more useful to deal with the crisis at hand. Which admittedly was also helped by Pallegina being his bff and very much influencing his opinion of the Republics towards being more positive.

10. Where do you imagine your Watcher’s life takes them after the events of Deadfire? 

He would absolutely keep an eye on what’s going on on Ukaizo, considering how important rebuilding the Wheel is (especially since he’s such a big fan of reincarnation too!), but since he can’t exactly help the animancers fix it faster... I think he’d visit home, try to spread the truth about the gods more (which is helped, I imagine, by Eothas’s actions), help Aloth with the Leaden Key, and just generally keep an eye out for the next crisis to lend his hand, since his overarching goal is to make the world a better place and prove to Thaos that kith doesn’t need the gods for that and isn’t as bad as Thaos has come to believe.

(Though my money for a potential sequel plot would be something involving Yezuha considering the storms are now gone.)

[hpdabbles]

Ace’s Often forgotten Diary

Captain log 1

Sabo gave me this. He taught me how to write and read since he learns by himself. He’s really smart.

 Sabo said it’s important to learn how to write for when we are pirates.  He said to check in whenever I want to practice then every day when I’m out at sea.

 It’s hard, I don’t like it. But Sabo asked me to do it and only beacuse he asked I’ll do it

Captain Log 5

There is a brat living with us now. He is shitty gramps real grandson and cries too much. He’s name Luffy. It’s a stupid name just like the stupid cry baby. 

He follows me everywhere, even though he can’t survive in the jungle. He keeps coming back even after he almost dies. I had to lead him in circles so he wouldn't find our treasure stash but still, he chases me. Stupid brat. 

Captain Log 10

Luffy is my brother now.  Sabo went from Best Friend to Brother too. I have a family. I never thought I would get to say that. Luffy got himself caught by bandits but didn’t sell us out like I thought he would. 

We saved him and he said I had the right to live. I chose to not let him get away and stolen some sake to make sure he is with me forever. I will kill anyone that tries to hurt him. He’s still a weak crybaby but he’s my weak crybaby.

Captain Log 15

Sabo is dead. Luffy is crying. I failed. I’m a failure. I let my brother die. 

Captain Log 20

I leave from my journey in a few weeks. I forgot about this captain log book after throwing it in a box a few years ago, when Sabo’s death was too freash. Honestly, I found it after raiding the tree house. I’m still shocked that Sabo is not here to look through the boxes to prep our ships with. 

Things have been going okay since that day. Luffy got hurt over the years but what else is new? He’s still the little weak brat from back then.I haven’t stopped practicing writing and it’s getting easier to think of words. 

There aren’t a lot of entries in this book so I’m taking it with me. 

Captain log 25

 Luffy has an admirer.  She’s this little girl from the bakery in Foosha named Betty.  I don’t think my brother knows she likes him beacuse he’s too busy getting excited about free food. It’s not surprising. 

Luffy is special and soon he will be getting love confession left and right. 

I am pushing back my departing date just beacuse I re-read this sentence and no good piece of shit is getting my little brother.

Captain log 30 

First night at sea. So far all I’ve seen are big waves and fluffy clouds. Luffy saw me off and gave me this really cool orange hat. It’s rather plain but I plan to add some personal touches to it.

I learned how to navigate from some of Sabo’s old books and I plan to go east from Dawn Island.

Captain Log 35

I wonder how Luffy is doing. Has he been eaten yet? Is he eating right? Did those stupid brats try to seduce him when I wasn’t around? I swear it’s like once puberty hit them all of them tried to corrupt Luffy. 

I don’t regret living beacuse I don’t want to live with regrets but I miss my brother. 

The sea is a very fun place. I’ve met my first mate already. His name is Masked Deuce. He didn’t like that man either but he’s a friend now. I hope the crew gets bigger soon. 

Captain Log 40

I lost my virginity last night. His name was Obas. He picked me up last night at the bar. Deuce didn’t like him but I thought he was funny. He reminded me a lot fo Sabo, but he was older and with some scars on his left side of his face. I think he was a wanted man too,  something to do with the Revolution army.

When I woke up he was gone but I will never forget him.

The crew has gotten bigger. We have about seven members so far. And we are aiming for the grand line after one more stop. Rumor has it that the only way in is through a mountain so we have to fix up the ship

Captain Log 45

Deuce found my captain log book. He said it was the worst writing of events he ever saw and now he started his own for the crew main captain logs. He doesn’t want to include my work the ass. 

So what if I forgot to write every day? And so what if this only has ten entries! He says it’s a diary, not a journal which is so untrue

Captain Log 50

I’m a Whitebeard pirate now. And I’m gay at least I think I am.

 Just have to put that somewhere. I haven’t talked to anyone about it and I haven’t done anything with anyone since Obas. I don’t now if I even count that time beacuse I was drunk.  But the only one that knows I’m not a virgin is Deuce and he promises to never say anything until I figure things out.

The first mate of Whitebeards name is Marco, he is making question things. I think he made me gay. 

Captain Log 55

Marco found this book. I’m burning it.

Luffy flips the page but sees there is nothing left. He clutches the rarely used notebook close to his chest. 

It’s been so long since he last heard his brother's voice, but somehow in these short sentence in Ace’s careful handwriting, he could hear him again. If only briefly. 

Luffy feels tears burn at the corners of his eyes but he still smiles at the blond man before him  “Thank you for letting me read this”  

Marco gives him a bittersweet smile, “It’s all I have left of him. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you reading it yoi”

[lafayeetsgunsandships1757-blog]

High Seas and Southern Dreams {Jefferson x reader}

The afternoon sun shone high in the sky, warming the dark blue water above me. I soak the distorted light in, enjoying the little time I spend near the surface of the water each day. I open my eyes as a shadow casted over me, I look up to see a large brown ship. Oh no… not pirates… I shouldn’t have been out when the sun was high, I should have known. I quickly start for the deep, hoping that I still haven’t been spotted. I continue to swim quickly as as I hear an incredibly muffled yell from above me. Shit. I swim faster than I’ve ever swam before. All of a sudden there was a loud splash and something wrapped around me slightly, I’ve been captured… My life as I know it is over.

I hear more muffled yelling from above as I feel myself get dragged to the surface. I start to try to fight and struggle against the net, hoping that this last attempt of getting away will work. They start to slow down as they hoist me up, almost as if they were having a hard time. I smile a bit thinking I actually have a chance, I start to thrash around more violently. I start to make the rope attached to the net actually sway back and forth. I feel myself drop a little bit back into the water, as I hear more clamor from above. I continue flailing and writhing around. I feel myself sinker ever deeper into the watery depth. It’s actually working, I’ll be free in no time! All of a sudden I just feel a strong force suddenly yank me towards the surface. Whoever joined in to pulling me up did seem to care there was a living thing on the other side. Another strong swift pull, I’ll be at the surface in no time at this rate. I start to panic and flail more, trying my hardest to get free. I feel them hesitate then yank harder, I feel the strong force of the pull, the weight of the water against me. I look up and see I’m just a few feet from being imprisoned by pirates. This is it, I’ll be stuck in an aquarium for the rest of my life. I feel another yank, I’m just barely out of the water, I can feel the warm rays of sunshine on my face. I hear hollering, most of it being incomprehensible. I maneuver myself to face the boat, so I can see who has just ruined my life. I look at the crew, now a little confused about how many people were actually on the boat. There was only one person holding the rope hoisting me up.

“THOMAS! This isn't right!” The man shouted looking away from me and still holding the rope that’s keeping me just barely above sea level, just barely away from my home.

“I KNOW it's not! But it's captains orders to capture and detain any threat while traveling to the Monticelian islands.” (WHAT'D I MISSSS XD) A smooth southern voice quipped in reply.

“BUT (FOR THIS TO SUCCEED THERE IS SOMEONE ELSE WE NEED) SHE ISN'T A THREAT!” The rope man replied.

“WELL I DON'T CA-wait. Did you say she?” hear the southern voice again. I hear the other voice sigh then explain.

“Yes Thomas I said she. Keep your dick in your pants. Jeez.” I would laugh if I wasn't getting kidnaped. With hesitation, the rope man finally pulled me up and completely out of the water.

“Well I can for this, you can't for Lafaye-woah she-she she…” I could almost hear his blood rushing from one head to the other as he began to stutter. As I get hoisted higher into the air I saw the two men. The man that was holding the rope was obviously a centaur. His short hair, which you could see little of, was tucked under a dark grey beanie and a bow and pack of arrows were draped around his chest(icles). The man that was probably the one talking to the centaur, was looking at me with wide eyes and um….something in his pants….His hair was dangling in his face and, well, everywhere. The floof was made of perfect curls that bounced in every direction. He had chestnut brown eyes and caramel colored skin. (no really?) His magenta coat was rolled up his arms and his his waistcoat was the same color, just a darker shade. His pants were a deep dark brown, which complimented his boots.

“What are you stari-oh.my.god.” The other man said facing you. “Hoyshitballssheisamermaidwhatthefuckweshouldn’thavedonethiswhatiswrongwithus.” He stammered.

“Yea no shit, what do you think I was? A fucking fairy? Connards.” I sassed while hanging in the net.

“Um no? But why in Gods putain de nom avez-vous appelé nous connards?” (fucking name did you call us assholes?) The floof said back.

“Regardez la situation de Goddamn dans laquelle je suis.”(look at THE GODDAMN SITUATION I AM IN.) I yelled back crossing my arms. (somehow).

“Ok désolé jeez.” (ok sorry jeez). He put his hands up.

“Can you two speak a language I can fuckin’ understand?” Horsie said to us. The man with the hair of the gods (aka floof hair) looks over to him and chuckles.

“Maybe you should just learn french…. it’ll make it easier on you were your boyfriend talks dirty to you.” He teased. Horsie looked over at him a little aghast.

“He’s not my boyfriend you southern twat…. anyways, back to the we caught a mermaid bit. I think we should just let her go and not tell the captain about this. I mean I don’t think one little mermaid could be a threat to us.” Horsie said looking back at me, away from floof. I suddenly heard a shout.

“HEY”

“Oh here come the assbag.” Floof mumbled.

“YO what is this? Why is a mermaid here? Is she evil or some shit?” He walked, more like stormed, to us. His green waistshirt was buttoned neatly. Which was weird to me, considering they were a pirates. His dark hair was slicked back with a headband(?).

“Hey can you shut the fuck up because I'm literally going to DIE if I stay up here.” I said, sass slipping in my tone.

“Why the hell would we care if that happened?” Greenie sassed back.

“Because if I died, one, you would get no info from me to get to the Monticelian islands. Two, I AM the princess of N.Y.SEA. so that would be bad.” I said back, a smile on my face and happiness in my voice to make myself intimidating with this prick.

“Well shit” Floof laughed. Greenie was flabbergasted. Horsie was snickering.

“W-well i-o cou-ld sen-d y-you t-” Floof cut off Greenie.

“Don't even try dude.” With that Floof walked off into a room for a minute. He emerged back with a large (BAGUETTE) tank,as well as someone that looked like him but with a black cloak on carried it with Floof. He filled it with water and helped Cloak twin put me into the tank.

“TANK you.” I laughed putting some water on my face.

“No problemo. You don’t seem so FISHy now” Floof boy said back.

“Ok lovebirds, you just met don't get kinky in front of us.” Horsie crossed his arms.

“Go fuck your baguette. Besides, we can’t, she doesn't even have LEGS. Dumbass.” Floof replied. That's when Cloaky baguette boy spoke up.

“YO MON AMI. SHUT THE FUCK UP.” He said.

“Oh s'il vous plait Lafayette, we all know that you and Herc like to SMASH.” Floof sassed back.

“BOI, THE ONLY NAMES I KNOW IS LAFAYETTE AND HERC. and it sounds gay. AND ALSO I LITERALLY AM CALLING YOU GUYS FLOOF, HORSIE, GREENIE, AND CLOAKY BAGUETTE BOY.” I snazzily said.

“Grennie?” Floof snickered.

“Shut up FLOOF” Greenie replied.

“WILL YOU ‘ORSE FUCKERZ SHUT UP FOR ONE GOD DAMN MINUTE, JEEZ seigneur s'il vous plaît….”(lord please) Lafayette said back.

“SAYS YOU LAF.” Floof smacked his head in his hand.

“ALL OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP! I AM ASKING YOUR NAMES GODDAMN. WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE FUCKING CHILDREN WHO CURSE?”(haha my other bookkkkkk. Read it XD) I slammed my head against the thick glass in frustration. We heard a door slam, which made my head jerk up and out of the water.

“WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ACTING LIKE CHILDREN?!” A six foot man yelled in an authoritative tone while coming onto the dock.

“That’s what I just asked…” I mumbled.

“YOU’RE NICE AND CHILL FOR A MINUTE WHEN I LEAVE TO MY OFFICE AND THEN SOME MERMAID COMES ALONG AND YOU LOSE YOUR SHIT! THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T GO PLACES GODDAMNIT!” He yelled then sighs as he kneels beside my tank. “Sorry about them. Well, this is Thomas.” He points to Floof. “Lafayette,” He points to cloaky baguette boy. “Alexander,” Grennie. “And Hercules.” Horsie. “The rest of the crew is inside doing their fucking jobs, unlike these 4. James is up there doi-oh wait no he's not. FUCK we’re lost.”

“I can help. I know N.Y.Sea. like the back of my hand and I can show you where the Monticelian islands are.” I piped up once more.

“Ah thank you. By the way, I'm George Washington. The captain of The Revolution.”