#i keep saying i’ll figure it out but i had this exact conversation with a friend almost a year ago

[ectoplasmer]

squinting really hard at that egogender label again

[kaiijo]

WORK WIFE — KUROO TETSUROU

pairing: kuroo tetsurou x fem! reader content: fluff, timeskip! kuroo (he’s so sexy)

you’re not really sure when kuroo started calling you his ‘work wife,’ but you honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. like many of your colleagues, you’ve been taken in by his teasing smile and charm and the way he brings you your coffee and bagel in the morning, just the way you like it. “good morning, wifey,” he says as he hands you your breakfast with a flourish. “vanilla latte with oat milk and an extra shot of espresso and a toasted everything bagel with cream cheese.” 

you smile and thank him, sliding the bagel out from the waxy paper bag. you glance back inside and sheepishly open your mouth but kuroo beats you to the punch. “and, of course, your stirrer.” he sticks his hand in the pocket of his slate gray slacks and produces a wooden stirrer. 

you chuckle, “you keep those in your pants just for me?”

“a gentleman always is prepared for a lady!”

“‘gentleman,’” you snort. 

kuroo presses a hand over his heart. “i am a gentleman through and through!”

“uh-huh, keep telling yourself that.” you take a sip of your drink. “but thanks again for breakfast.”

he pats your head and sings out, “anything for my favorite work wife!”

“i better be your only one!” he laughs loudly at your reply, the sound bouncing off the walls as he heads down the hall to his office. 

when lunchtime rolls around, kuroo, as usual, appears in your doorway with his lunch in hand. he never has the same thing, you’ve come to learn; today’s meal is grilled fish over rice, and kuroo asks, “up for a lunch date?”

you try to fight the warmth rising to your cheeks, still not used to his wording despite the many times he’s asked the exact same thing. you shake your head and sigh, “unfortunately, i’m behind on inputting the quarter two estimations so i think i’ll be working through lunchtime.”

kuroo still walks into your office and comes around to look at your computer screen. “have you been doing these all by hand?”

“yeah?”

“here, there’s an easier way to generate these estimates.” with a few clicks and keystrokes, you watch as numbers and figures fill the spreadsheet cells before your very eyes. you slump back in your chair, relieved. you glance up at kuroo. he’s so close that you can very clearly smell the way his cologne mingles with his minty toothpaste. your breath hitches as he stares down at you with pride. “you’re a lifesaver.”

“had to save my lunch time with my work wife.”

you stifle a yawn as you save your last pitch for the budget board and power off your computer. you looked out the window, the sun beginning to set on the horizon. you roll your chair away and stretch your hold body out, humming in relief as someone knocks on your door. it’s not hard to guess who it is. “come in.”

“hey,” kuroo pokes his head inside, blazer folded across his arm and his lanyard in hand. “ready to go?”

“yep, let me just get my stuff.” you gather your things and sling your bag over your shoulder, locking up your office and following kuroo out. you walk side-by-side in comfortable, tired silence until you get out of the building. “how was the merch presentation?”

“oh, it went really well,” he says. “thanks for letting me co-opt your time for rehearsal.”

“you know i always have time for you.”

kuroo gives you a smile that’s almost way too soft and sweet for you to handle, and you quickly avert your eyes to the street in front of you as you two come to the metro stop. he asks about how your younger brother is settling into college and you inquire about his grandparents, and it’s an endless stream of conversation as you two board the metro together. 

“oh,” kuroo says suddenly, voice shifting to a quieter tone. “i’ve been meaning to ask, do you want to—?”

you desperately want to hear the end of his question but you’re coming up to your stop and you have to hurry home to walk your dog. “sorry! text me the question?”

he shakes his head. “i’ll tell you later. see you tomorrow, wifey.”

you wave to him over the shoulder as the doors close behind you, and you’re left with a warm feeling in your chest and burning curiosity about what he’ll ask you. 

it’s the next day when your boss calls you into her office, asking you to let the newest employee to the sports promotion division shadow you for a little while until he gets the hang of what you guys do. his name’s nakamura eijun and he seems nice enough so you agree.

nakamura’s in your office as you go over how the jva’s filing and record-keeping online works when kuroo comes in with your daily breakfast. you sit up straighter, ready for him to finish whatever question he was about to ask. 

he stops short when he sees nakamura and asks, “new guy?” nakamura nods and introduces himself, to which kuroo responds with an enthusiastic “i’m kuroo tetsurou. welcome to the team!” and without your usual banter, kuroo drops off your bagel and coffee and leaves without another word. 

he peeks into your office again at lunch and you’re about to wave him inside, but he shakes his head and says, “i’ll come back later!”

he doesn’t. you don’t see kuroo for the rest of the day, which makes your heart sink. it’s the first time in months that he hasn’t followed the unconscious routine the two of your started. you try to look at the silver-lining. kuroo (and thinking about kuroo) is your main distraction of the day, so maybe it was a good thing he didn’t show up so you couldn’t make a fool of yourself. 

what unnerves you, though, is that the following days are much the same. kuroo silently brings you your breakfast and peeks in every now and then, smile never quite meeting his eyes as he sees you eating with nakamura in your office. the days stretch to weeks and you realize two things: one — that kuroo’s avoiding you, and two — nakamura’s a lot less capable than you thought he would be, given that he’s still shadowing you after about two and a half weeks. 

thankfully, you get a little reprieve when nakamura informs you that he’s out sick for the day. you perk up when kuroo comes in with your breakfast and give him your chirpiest “good morning.”

he leans up against your doorframe, glancing around. “your new work husband’s not here today?”

“what are you talking about?”

he says, “your new work husband. he have some emergency or something?”

you frown at his tone. “sorry, let me be more specific. who are you talking about?”

“nakamura,” he responds. finally, he crosses the threshold and hands you your bagel and coffee, the stirrer already inside the bagel bag. he plops down heavily in his chair, arms folded across his chest. 

“you know you’re my one and only,” you say, offering a smile. when he doesn’t reply, your smile fades and you ask, “why do you think he’s my new work husband?”

“he’s been telling everyone that you two spend so much time together that he might as well be.”

you can’t help but roll your eyes and you reach across the desk, tapping your hand on the surface to get kuroo’s attention. he finally meets your gaze and you say, “we’ve been spending a lot of time together because sakura asked me to let him shadow and he’s—” you lower your voice to a conspiratorial whisper, prompting kuroo to lean in closer, “—not very smart.”

“really?” 

you watch as the tension kuroo held in his shoulders disappeared and something like relief washed across his features. you can’t help but laugh a little, “really. is that what got you so grumpy these past few days?”

“hey!” he protests, “i wasn’t grumpy. pouty, maybe, but definitely never grumpy.”

“sure, sure.” you pause and then ask, “why were you so bothered by nakamura saying he’s like my work husband?”

kuroo’s face flushes and with an uncharacteristic shyness, he says, “because, y’know, that’s— that’s our thing. and i’m not too keen on letting someone steal my wife away.”

“good to know you’re a protective husband.”

he chuckles and says, “well, gotta get back to the trenches. those advertisement pitches aren’t going to pitch themselves.”

“don’t i know it.”

as he goes to leave, he hesitates in the doorway. then, he turns back to you and asks, “would you like to have dinner with me tonight? if you’re not doing anything, of course.”

your eyebrows raise but you can’t help the bright smile from breaking across your face. “yeah, that sounds great.”

a year and a half later.

nakamura and you are sitting in the conference room, brainstorming ways to help boost the sendai frogs’s popularity. nakamura taps his pen against his chin and suggests, “maybe we should tell koganegawa to stop yelling so much?”

“no, their fans like his enthusiasm,” you say. 

“well, tsukishima’s their most popular player… maybe we can ask him to ramp up the fanservice. as in, do any.”

you snort but before you can make some snarky comment about how that absolutely will not happen, a voice comes from behind you. “you’re signing a death wish with that. no way tsukki’ll bite.”

nakamura’s face sours and he mumbles something as kuroo towers over both of you. you grin at him in greeting and give him a playfully chastising look, adding, “you’re right but you know it’s rude to interrupt a conversation.”

“just making sure my wife—” he gives nakamura a very pointed look, “—knows who she’s dealing with.”

you quirk an eyebrow. “your wife is a very capable woman, thank you very much.”

he smirks and bends down closer, deepening his tone. “oh, i know.”

nakamura scowls. “we get it, she’s your work wife.”

“actually…” kuroo’s shit-eating grin grows wide like a cat who got the cream and simultaneously, both of you hold up your left hands, matching silver bands glinting under the fluorescent lights. “she’s my wife-wife now.”

[alt-vera]

— text me, texas ⁀➷

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joel miller worries that the girl he’s been seeing is holding out on him on purpose. she definitely isn’t.

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♡ | joel miller | 1.5k | ❛ text me texas - chris young ❜

warnings: pre!outbreak joel miller. outdoor oral (m!receiving). praise. fond nicknames being used. deep throating. age gap. mdni.

❝ it’s breaking my heart and i’m starting to get the message… c’mon and text me, texas ❞

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JOEL MILLER COULDN’T KEEP HIS EYES OFF OF HIS PHONE.

　Whether he was working, or making breakfast for Sarah, his flip phone was always in his peripheral vision. He didn’t even know if it was intentional anymore.

　It’d been a week since he heard from you. A week since the two of you had gone on a nearly disastrous date. A week since he’d gotten a text from you reading, “Talk 2 U L8er, cowboy”

　Texas and Cowboy. You were the one who started the nicknames, jokingly calling him cowboy when he’d come into the ER for some stitches he’d earned during work. Joel knew he shouldn’t be hitting on the resident more than a decade younger than him patching him up, but he loved the way the corners of your eyes crinkled as he cracked a ludic joke, and the way the tip of your tongue peeked out of the corner of your mouth as you honed in on your work.

　This lead to him asking for your number as you discharged him, and you saying yes for a reason Joel couldn’t figure out. Of course, your residency schedule wouldn’t allow for a date right away, something that wouldn’t happen for another two weeks after your fateful meeting, but it did allow for an abundance of phone calls between the two of you.

　Something that had become so routine for Joel that, with their current absence, had caused him a week of fitful, sleepless nights. Missing his texas that wasn’t really from Texas.

　Even now, as he and Tommy shot the shit sitting on the back of Joel’s shoddy wooden porch, beers in hand and cicadas buzzing a backtrack for their conversation, he couldn’t help but steal glances at the folded black device sitting on the table between them.

　“Maybe she’d finally come to her senses,” Tommy suggested with a shit-eating grin as he took a sip from the glass bottle in his hands. “Realized she could do better than a dirty ol’ contractor.”

　“Don’t talk as if your shit don’t stink,” Joel replied gruffly, calloused hands picking at the peeling label of his beer. “You’re in the exact same boat as i am. How is Ashley, by the way?”

　“Fuckin’ a lawyer,” Tommy replied with a roll of his eyes, a much more forceful sip being taken now. “Hey, maybe that’s why she hasn’t called you. She’s fuckin’ her doctor-supervisor whatever it’s called.”

　“Or maybe she’s been too busy patchin’ up dumbasses like yourself.”

　Your voice cut through the summer air, stunning the two men as they turned around to look at you. You leant against the sliding glass door, tank top wrinkled from being in your locker all day and jean shorts hanging low around your hips. Your hair was wild from being thrown up all day, shining in the setting sun as a six pack hung loosely in your hand.

　“Texas,” Joel said weakly, stunned to see you there.

　“Cowboy, Ranger,” You greeted respectively, smiling as you moved to stand in front of the two as you put the pack on the table. “Glad to know you two still think about me when i’m not around.”

　“I’ll take that as my cue to leave,” Tommy mumbled, face ruddy from being caught shit-talking. He placed his empty bottle on the table, fishing out a new one from the pack you brought. “I’ll be drinking this one at home, Doc. Thank ya.”

　You gave him a two-fingered salute as he stalked off, taking his chair and popping the cap off your beer. Joel’s mouth hung agape before he snapped to his senses, hand running over his stubbly jaw.

　“Tommy, y’know, he was just bullshittin’,” Joel mumbled, eyes trained on you, looking for any sort of indication that you were pissed. “Y’know I don’t think you’d do something like that.”

　You laughed heartily, which put Joel somewhat at ease. He melted into his chair just a bit, taking a quick swig.

　“I know, cowboy,” You teased the nickname. Your shorts rode up a bit as you shifted, and Joel fought himself not to stare. “My attending’s been up my ass this week, sticking me in the ER til i ran out of ice packs and stitchin’ thread. That’s why i’ve been so M.I.A.”

　Joel ignored your addressing of your silence, instead quirking his lips up into a teasing grin. “Meet any patients as charming as i was?”

　“Nope,” You replied, taking a swig of your own. “No one can beat the one and only Joel Miller.”

　Joel angled his body more towards yours, “Is that why you took it out of your busy schedule to come see me?”

　“Actually,” You said, wrist twirling as you stretched your soreness, “I have tomorrow off, so i thought i’d pay my dear cowboy a visit, seeing as i left him in radio silence for the past week.”

　“Yeah, darlin’, you can’t do that to an ol’ man like me,” Joel sighed, tracing the wood of his chair. He was never good at being vulnerable. “Made me think you were off, i dunno…”

　You picked up where he trailed off. “Fucking my doctor-supervisor whatever?”

　Joel shook his head, crows feet prominent as he squinted. “No, just that maybe… there was someone else.”

　“If you ever can’t call,” He continued, “You can always text me. Even though i don’t know how to text back, you can always… text me, texas.”

　“Well maybe I can make it up to you…”

　A sly smile danced on your lips as you sank from your chair and onto the balmy wood of the porch, crawling between Joel’s already spread legs. Your fingers traced the pattern on his bet buckle, doe eyes moving to stare up at him. “Sarah’s sleeping over at a friend’s house, right?”

　“Yes,” Joel’s voice came out as a broken sigh. His fingers came up to trace your jawline, rough pads leaving tingles on your smooth skin. “Y’know you don’t have to make it up to me, texas.”

　Your head cocked. “But i want to.”

　Those four simple words made Joel practically fall apart at the seams.

　You felt him relax into his chair, which you took as a signal to continue. You delicately palmed him through his tightening jeans, a groan of satisfaction leaving his lips as you did so. More confident in your actions now that you knew he was enjoying himself, you unbuckled his belt and jeans, pressing kisses to his clothed member.

　Joel’s fingers danced through your hair, pulling it into a makeshift ponytail as you pulled down his boxers, cock springing up against his dark tee to meet the gentle summer breeze. You spit into your hand, stroking him before smoothly taking him into your mouth.

　Joel could stare at you all day, Texas sunset painting your skin with warm hues, your cheeks hallowed as you took him the best you could, hand stroking what you couldn’t. It took everything in him not to bust the moment you got on your knees in front of him.

　“That’s it, darlin’,” He cooed, thumb absentmindedly stroking your cheek as you took him deeper, throat bobbing against him as you tried not to choke. “Just like that.”

　You pulled away for a breath, and he leant down and kissed you. Your palm still stroking the head of his cock as his tongue swirled with yours. He could taste himself on your tongue, the tang of precum mixed with beer.

　You pulled out from the kiss, smiling as you turned your full attention back to his cock, your tongue sticking out of the corner of your mouth as you focused on making him cum, just as it did when you did his sutures.

　Your muscle tickled his slit as you took him once again in your mouth, wrapping around him as you continued to go down. He groaned, large hand putting gentle pressure on the back of your skull as he encouraged you to take him in farther.

　“You can do it, baby. You can take it all.”

　His encouragement spurred you further, nose coming to meet the wiry hairs at his base as he fully went down your throat. You sputtered around him, but he held you in place, hips bucking up into your mouth.

　“Fuck, darlin’, i’m cumming.”

　His warning came out broken as he moaned, hot seed travelling down your throat and leaking out the side of your mouth. You pulled off once he was milked, using your thumb to collect the fluid that escaped, licking it clean.

　You tucked him back into his boxers and laid your cheek on his jean covered thigh, smiling up at him with a lopsided grin as he fondly played with your hair, tucking it behind your ears and massaging your scalp.

　Joel couldn’t stop himself from grinning back, lips curling as he playfully rolled his eyes. “That was one hell of an apology, texas.”

[chukys-mouthguard]

kinda tempting pt 4

part 3

4.6k words

genre: angst, with a drop of fluff

featuring: mat barzal x female reader x matthew rempe

note: to the anon who predicted the exact plot of part 4…was it that predictable? Hahaha 🫣🙈

To say you were stressed was an understatement. On top of trying to plan a destination wedding for this summer, you were also stressing over not just the Rangers but the Islanders fighting for a playoff spot.

Despite having worked through playoff hockey before, this year seemed much harder on you. The longer hours, stricter deadlines, on top of just hoping and praying your boyfriend fiance managed to make the playoffs, or else he’d be off enjoying summer early while you might still be working. Which wouldn’t be ideal if you’re trying to get married this summer.

Though you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t once thought about postponing the wedding, or even possibly eloping. The idea of trying to plan a destination wedding in another country was actually making you insane. Mat was dead set on Italy for your wedding, but with how crazy busy you both had been, there was very little planning taking place. Trying to convince Mat to postpone seemed like an even bigger challenge at this point, one you were afraid to even attempt.

There really wasn’t any rush to get married in your eyes, but you understood Mat just wanted to call you his wife. To not be engaged for long, because what’s the fun in that. Which is why you’d figured to just elope, then later down the line you could have a wedding. But this summer seemed too soon, and you were sick trying to juggle it all.

“Mat, what is all of this?”

Walking into your kitchen you found Mat standing proud with a counter covered in various snacks and goodies.

“Well, you said you haven’t been feeling well. And I figured I could try my best to help! So, I got you chicken soup because who can say no to that. Some cookies from the bakery down the street, since I wasn’t sure if maybe it was your period. And, to be honest this last bit I stole from tik tok when I searched gifts for girls. And everyone said you can’t go wrong with a throw blanket and some fuzzy socks.” He shrugged as he held up the two items, making you giggle as you kissed his cheek.

“Well thank you babe, I thought it was my period, but that still hasn’t started yet this month. Though I will still gladly accept these delicious looking cookies. I really appreciate all this.”

Taking a seat at the counter, you watched as Mat heated up the soup for you before sliding it to you with a spoon.

“Do you think maybe you should lay low today? I mean, with the schedule getting crazier for you, and I’m sure the wedding planning is also not helping. I just don’t want you to burn out or anything.”

Nodding your head as you heard his concerns you sipped your soup. “Well, I might swing by one of those like Minute Clinics at the drugstore. Just to maybe see if I need anything stronger than over the counter meds. I don’t think it’s anything serious, I have my suspicions. But at least I’ll have some answers after doing that.”

He simply nodded, not wanting to tell you what to do or how to take care of yourself. Though he couldn’t help but feel like you were downplaying things, or potentially keeping something from him. Not to mention how guilty he felt for bailing on the wedding planning with the Isles trying to make the playoffs. But if something serious was going on, he wanted to know. Though you would hopefully have your answer today, you weren’t sure how you’d feel when you go it.

-

It had been a few days since you’d gone to the doctor to figure out what was going on, and while you got your answer, it was the one you weren’t hoping for despite expecting it.

Mat had asked how it went, to which you simply responded that it was nothing serious. Hoping to drop the conversation until you found a way to tell him the real answer. Needing a few days to think it through.

As you drove to Madison Square Garden for yet another Rangers home game, you knew your news needed to be shared with Matthew sooner rather than later. Though you two hadn’t spoken since he found out you’d said yes to Mat, and despite him sending the congratulatory text that he did, you were sure he still wasn’t too thrilled about it all. This news definitely not going to make things any better.

After you’d gotten settled in at the rink, having a bit of down time, you shot a text to Matthew. To your surprise you didn’t appear to be blocked anymore. Maybe he’d gotten over his anger towards you, either way, you were thankful for it.

“Can we talk?”

You stared at the screen, waiting to see that he’d read the message, then waiting for the bubble to appear and signal that he was typing a response.

“The usual spot, I’ll be there in 5.”

Those 5 minutes of waiting felt like 50. You had no clue how you were going to tell Matthew your news, figuring it was maybe best to start with small talk and gauge his mood.

A soft smile on your face as he walked up to you, a more stern look on his. He offered a hug to you, feeling it was only right after the argument you two had. He never meant to say the things he did, no matter if they were his true feelings or not.

“So? What’s up?”

Playing with the hem of your jacket you started down the hall, Matthew instinctually following at your side.

“Mat read me the text you sent him the other day, that was really nice of you. Thanks.”

“You called me out here for that?” His tone was a mix of annoyance and sarcasm, making you question even more if this was a good idea or not. But you knew it was best for him to hear things from you this time, not his teammates, social media, or anyone else.

“No, I didn’t. Um, I wanted you to hear this from me. Especially after last time. But, I went to the doctor the other day because I haven’t been feeling well. I thought it was stress with the season gearing up for playoffs possibly. For Mat and for the Rangers. Not to mention trying to plan a wedding in Italy for the summer. But, it’s definitely not just stress.”

A look of concern washing over him as he looked down at you, unsure of where this was going. Nervously cracking his knuckles as he waited for you to continue.

“I, god I haven’t even told Mat and I can’t believe I’m telling you first. But, I’m, I’m pregnant.”

Matthew scoffed, a slight chuckle following as he bit his cheek, his demeanor completely changing as he shook his head.

“Wow, that’s…why the fuck do I need to know this? You just wanted to rub more shit in my face or what? You had me scared that something was really wrong y/n! Did you just tell me to get another half hearted congratulations from me?”

He tried to walk away, not caring to hear anything further, his heart hurting all over again knowing that now you truly were out of his reach for good. But you stopped him, grabbing his hand as you pulled him back to look at you. Tears in your eyes as you tried to explain.

“What!”

Matthew’s voice echoing through the hall as he stared at you, his expression quickly changing from cold to soft as he could see right through you. Seeing the nervousness in your eyes as you tried to pull yourself together.

“You, you don’t know if it’s his, do you?”

As you looked to the floor, that told him all he needed to know. Wrapping you in a hug, he didn’t know what to say. His own emotions running wild at the thought that you were pregnant with his child. But he tried not to get his hopes up, on the off chance it wasn’t his. Plus you were technically still engaged and planning to marry Mat as far as he was concerned.

“Well, you have to tell him. Regardless if it’s mine or his, he needs to know.”

“Oh like that’s easy? To tell the man I’m supposed to be marrying this summer that I’m pregnant, but don’t get your hopes up cause it might not be yours.” You sniffled as you wiped away the few tears that had fallen, letting out a sigh as you didn’t feel relieved at all. Feeling even worse now that you’d told Matthew the news.

“But if the baby isn’t his, he has a right to know. Shit I have a right to know if it’s mine!”

You quickly threw your hand up, covering his mouth in an attempt to quiet him. Not wanting anyone to possibly overhear your conversation.

“Sorry, but, I’m not okay with you pretending like I’m not a part of this now. You want to just not tell him? And then what? Especially if this baby is mine y/n, I’m not okay with you living life like everything is normal just to save your fucking relationship. Think back to how you felt that night. How he made you feel. I get you think it was wrong, yeah you technically cheated on him. But to sweep this under the rug, just because you don’t want to ruin what you two have worked on and fixed. That’s not the solution.”

You knew Matthew was right, but you couldn’t fathom what this news would do to Mat. He’d worked so hard to be a better man, and this is how you repay him? You needed to tell him, of course you did. But you didn’t know how you could do it in a way that wouldn’t risk losing your relationship with him.

“Look, I get it. You’re not wrong, but unfortunately this is not your decision or your news to share. Just, please, let me figure out how to tell him and what I’m gonna say.”

Matthew knew you were right, and it was your decision to make, he couldn’t help but feel like you were going to try your best to hide this from Mat, possibly play it off that the baby was his if it actually wasn’t. He’d try his best to trust you’d do the right thing, needing not to stress and focus on the game he was about to play.

As he left to get dressed, you immediately pulled out your phone, sending a text to Mat. Hoping he wouldn’t see it until after his game, not wanting to worry him or stress him out.

“Can you come over tonight? I have something to tell you.”

-

Pacing the floor of your apartment, you knew Mat would walk through the door at any moment. Your text had scared him to death, immediately assuming you lied to him about your trip to the doctor being nothing serious. He told you he’d cut his post game media time short to be able to get to you, knowing traffic would have already make his drive a lengthy one.

Finally you heard the key turning in the deadbolt, your heart practically sinking to your stomach and you felt like you were going to puke and pee your pants all at once.

“Baby, I didn’t expect you to be up waiting. Come here.”

He dropped his bag and ran to you, arms wrapping around you as he pulled close. Pressing a kiss to your lips before he took a deep breath, trying to prepare himself for whatever the conversation was set to be.

“Are, are you okay? I’ve been a nervous wreck. Please tell me you’re okay!”

You softly chuckled, trying to hold back the tears you could already feel welling in your eyes.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

He looked at you concerned as he took your hands in his, thumbs brushing over your skin as he tried to search your eyes for a sign, but nothing could prepare him for the words you were about to say.

“Mat, I’m pregnant.”

Mat’s eyes grew wide as his jaw slightly dropped, hands leaving yours to grab at his hair. In complete shock he didn’t know what to say or do, settling on questioning whether or not you were lying, to which you told him no you were not.

“Baby! This is amazing!”

Spinning you around the living room before he kissed you, tears now in his eyes as he was overcome with emotion. His reaction only hurting your heart as the idea of possibly telling him the baby wasn’t his still very present in your mind.

“Is this why you wanted to postpone the wedding? Because of the baby?”

His hands now resting on your stomach as he smiled down at them, you unsure of what to say as you were still processing the news yourself.

“Um, kind of.”

He could hear uncertainty in your voice. Tucking some hair behind your ear, he left a hand to caress your cheek.

“Everything okay? You don’t seem excited.”

Resting your hand on his you flashed him a smile, nodding your head to convince him you were fine.

“Of course, it’s just, a lot to take in you know?”

“I completely understand babe, it’s definitely some big news that’s for sure.”

He pulled you in for one last hug, before picking you up once again as he couldn’t contain his excitement. Screaming in excitement as he peppered you with kisses.

“Ahh, I just can’t believe I’m gonna be a dad!”

-

“You’re kidding me. You haven’t told him yet?”

Matthew shook his head as he paced the hallway outside the locker room.

The Rangers were set to play the Islanders, one of the last games before the playoffs, and the last thing you needed was both Matthew and Mat under one roof.

“I told him, just not, everything. I mean, you should’ve seen how fucking excited he got at the idea of him being a dad. How was I supposed to crush him in that moment?”

“Yeah and what about me?”

It wasn’t that you didn’t think about Matthew’s feelings in all of this, you just tried your best to convince yourself that things weren’t going to come to you having to tell Mat about anything that happened behind his back.

“You think I haven’t been excited thinking that baby could be mine?”

His voice now more of a whisper, not needing anyone around to overhear and word to spread. You could see in his eyes that he was hurt, torn, confused. And you knew you had to set the record straight, not just to him, but to Mat as well. Though you weren’t ready for the repercussions that would come with that.

“I, I know you have. I can imagine you losing sleep, your mind running rampant with so many thoughts. And you’re not wrong for that. Trust me, I’ve been going crazy trying to figure out how the hell I’m going to deal with the job of telling one of you the bad news.”

He took your hand, trying to calm himself as he didn’t mean to be angry with you. Trying to imagine what you must be going through with all of this, he felt bad for raising his voice and pressuring you to say or do anything.

“You really don’t have any idea? I mean, you can’t let things go on much longer without knowing. It’s only going to make it that much harder.”

Looking to the floor you took a deep breath, realizing that what you were about to say, would change everything. Your relationship, your future, everything would surely change now. But you had no choice, Matthew was right. It would only be harder the longer you waited.

“That’s just it, I do know. And that is what’s making this so much fucking harder. I just can’t bring myself to say it and hurt someone like that.”

Matthew immediately knew from your words, but while he understood you being afraid to admit you’d cheated. He couldn’t understand you being ashamed of it when Mat pushed you to it. The way you were made to feel, you were sure your relationship was over. And while sure, he’s worked on himself to step up and be a better man to you, it didn’t change everything he’d done before to push you to the point that you’d decided to sleep with someone else. To go to someone else for the things he wasn’t giving you.

“Well, then maybe you don’t have to tell him. Look, I really gotta head in and start getting ready. But, we can talk after okay?”

Matthew gave you a quick hug before heading off to the locker room. Leaving you to gather yourself and get ready for the game. Hoping it would be a good distraction, even if only for a few hours.

-

Warmups had started, and you were in better spirits. The guys goofing off for the camera putting a smile on your face easily.

You watched as Matthew skated over to Mat while he stretched by the red line, wishing you could have been a fly on the wall for whatever they said. Mat instantly having an angered look on his face, shaking his head as he began spitting words back at Matthew. He flashed a cocky grin as he stared down at Mat, shrugging his shoulders as you could see him mouth the words “we can go no problem.”

His statement making Mat rise to his feet, now staring at Matthew blocking your view to know what had been said next. Soon enough, their teammates coming over to separate them and tell them to save it for the game. Matthew skating around a bit as he caught your eye, simply smirking over at you, letting you know that he had definitely stirred up some trouble.

From the drop of the puck, tensions were high. Despite Matthew not getting many shifts, any time he was out there it seemed like the Islanders had his number. Taking cheap shots along the boards, getting in his face after the whistles.

As Matthew stepped onto the ice your eyes flew to Mat, who was screaming at his teammate to change, the look in his eyes one that you’d rarely seen. And you knew he was going right after Matthew. His skates hitting the ice and his path already determined, heading straight towards him before slamming him into the boards just a few feet away from where you stood. Mat standing over him as he taunted him, begging him to get up and fight him.

The crowd erupting as Matthew stood up, throwing his gloves to the ice, the two boys now ready to trade shots. You knew this was a stupid move for Mat, he wasn’t a fighter. And Matthew was surely going to beat his ass.

They exchanged blows, the fight seemed to last forever as they both were bloody. Matthew landing the final punch as they fell to the ice, Mat not letting go and continuing to throw blows as it took two of the referees to pull him off.

As they skated to the box their bickering continued, screaming at one another from opposite sides as they sat their respective five minutes each.

The game continued on in a similar fashion, multiple fights and player ejections, all to end in a thrilling shoutout where the Rangers took home the win. You’d gotten access to the locker room to film the awarding of the post game accolades, noticing Matthew in the corner, his hands resting under ice bags, a black eye already forming on his face.

Shaking your head you were in shock, that two grown men had just beat the shit out of each other, most likely over you because what else would they have fought over. Though you couldn’t be sure, not having any clue what Matthew said on the ice to get Mat fired up the way he did. As you left the locker room, you were shocked to find Mat heading your way. Not yet showered, clearly having just wrapped up his media availability, his expression not happy to see you.

“What the fuck is going on?”

Looking at him confused you tried pulling him to the side, not needing him to make a scene with everyone around.

“Babe, what are you talking about?”

“Don’t fucking babe me!”

His shout causing you to jump, Mat clearly angry though you were still unsure why.

“That fucking kid comes up to me during warmups. Pretends to congratulate me on the baby, then asks me if I know for sure that it’s mine? What the fuck is he talking about?”

A look of shock washing over you as you couldn’t believe Matthew had done that. Whether or not he was right, he had no reason to do that. It was your news to tell.

The shouting had earned some looks of concern from Rangers staff, soon enough a few players had poked their heads out of the locker room. Matthew eventually emerged, Mat immediately turning his attention to him.

“Oh just fucking perfect, yeah come on over and try to save the day Rempe. Haven’t you caused enough issues?”

“Everything okay y/n?”

“Why would you do that? Tell him he needs to be sure the baby is actually his?”

Matthew laughed as he bit his lip, shaking his head as he looked at you. His somewhat cocky attitude not one that you appreciated in this moment. “Really? Y/n, come on. You said it yourself you couldn’t bring yourself to hurt him like that. I tried starting the conversation, so it’s time to just tell him.”

Glaring at Matthew, you couldn’t bear to look at Mat. Tears welling in your eyes as you could feel your world crumbling around you.

“Y/n, tell me what?”

You shook your head as you tried your best to hold it together, Matthew wrapping an arm around your shoulder to comfort you as he looked at Mat, his words coming out stern but apologetic.

“It’s, it’s not your baby Mat.”

Immediately you interjected, feeling the need to try and salvage some type of conversation. “Mat, please, let me explain. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this, I didn’t know he was going to say that stuff to you on the ice. Please just-“

“You’re fucking kidding me. Rempe? Of all people, you fucked him? When?”

Shaking Matthew’s arm from your shoulder you tried to pull Mat aside to explain, but he didn��t want to hear a word you had to say. Doing his best to not make too much of a scene with everyone around.

“This is why you wanted to postpone the wedding, you knew. Didn’t you?”

“No! I didn’t know! Please, just let me explain!”

Your hands moved to caress his face to get him to look at you, but he took a step back.

“Just tell me the truth. Is the baby mine, or his?”

Taking a deep breath, you knew that your answer was going to change everything the moment it left your lips. But it had to happen, he deserved that much.

Sliding your engagement ring from your finger, knowing there wasn’t going to be a wedding after you gave him his answer, you placed it in his hand.

“I’m so sorry. I’m really fucking sorry.”

Mat looked at the ring, shaking his head as he glanced from you to Matthew. A smirk coming across his lips, though you knew it wasn’t a happy one.

“I hope it was fucking worth it. See how this works out when he’s out of the league in two years.”

Mat walked away as you fell to the floor, sobbing as you felt the weight of the world crash onto you. Matthew trying to pick you up and comfort you as best he could, but you quickly pushed him away.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you do that? If you care about me you’ve got a weird fucking way of showing it pulling a stunt like that. I told you to let me handle it!”

Matthew looked at you confused, “He needed to know! You said it yourself, you couldn’t bring yourself to say it and hurt him.”

“And so you decided to do that for me? That wasn’t for you to do! I don’t care if it’s your baby or not, that wasn’t your decision to make!”

Matthew didn’t bother arguing, letting you take out your frustrations on him before you hurried past him. Hoping none of the other guys were listening to what had all just transpired. Gathering your things and heading to your car, needing to go home and take the night to try and wrap your head around what just happened.

-

As you got back to your apartment you couldn't help but pack up some of Mat’s things he’d kept at your place. Figuring it was best to get that out of the way now as you were still coming down from the emotions of things officially ending.

Putting the last of his things in a box, you carried it to your front door. A few soft knocks catching you off guard as you checked the time.

Opening the door you revealed Matthew standing there, duffle bag in hand as he smiled down at you.

“I’m sorry, can I come in?”

Stepping aside, you reluctantly let him in. Despite your frustrations, he was going to be the father of your child. You couldn’t shut him out completely. As he set his bag down, he wrapped you in a hug as he kissed your head.

“You’re right. It wasn’t my place to do any of that, and I’m sorry that I fucked everything up for you. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now. I’m sure you want to punch me in the face. But, I’m not going to leave you to deal with this alone. The breakup and the baby. I’m gonna be here. Whether we end up together, or simply co-parent. I’m not going to walk out on you or leave to deal with this by yourself.”

Smiling up at him you nodded, accepting his apology as you were simply too tired to be bothered with being frustrated or angry at him. Appreciating his willingness to be there for you, for the baby. You knew you were going to need his support through the process. Not even wanting to think about the field day the Rangers organization were going to have with this situation.

Heading down the hall and back to your room, you climbed into bed, desperately needing sleep. Matthew followed behind, leaning against the doorframe as he watched you get comfortable. Your eyes catching his with a chuckle.

“What?”

“Just figured I’d make sure you get to sleep okay.”

“Or you could come to bed too, I don’t really want to be alone after everything that went down tonight.”

Pulling back the covers you scooted to the other side of the bed, making space for Matthew as he joined you. The two of you facing one another as he could see you were drained.

“Matt, if I’m being honest, I’m scared.”

Your eyes fixated on your fingers as you played with the sheets, not trying to get worked up again.

“I know, but I told you, I’m not going anywhere. I’m gonna be here for you and our baby.”

[rallentando1011]

Somnambulant Soulmates (rise Donnie x gn reader)

Prologue, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

Word Count: 2833

“Where in the actual heck did you lead me?”

“Trying to figure that out right now. How many turns have you taken?”

“You mean to the left or right?” you inquired cautiously, steps splashing in the shallow water of the sewer tunnel you currently found yourself in. You thought that since you had taken this exact same path literally yesterday you might remember the way. Well, you thought wrong, which was why you called up the man you were on your way to meet for assistance.

Donnie huffed over the phone. “Both, preferably. Why would you go traversing through a complex labyrinth of a sewer system, not knowing where you’re going, and not keeping track of where you’ve gone?”

“Uhh, misguided faith in myself?”

“Eh. Fair enough. I’ll send auxiliary support your way.”

“‘Auxiliary support?’ What is that supposed to-”

Before you could even finish your thought, not to mention get a response, the call ended.

You gaped. Either the signal cut out, which was feasible in the sewers, or he ended the call. For Donnie’s sake, he’d better have hoped it was the former.

You froze in the eerie silence and dark, breathing tersely. Your hands hung uncomfortably off your sides, shoulders drawn tight.

What were you supposed to do now?

Well, retracing your steps seemed better than continuing further into uncharted territory. Following that logic, you pivoted and meandered cautiously back from where you came.

The tunnel came upon an especially dark section, so you turned on your phone’s flashlight. Your field of vision was small, but at least you could directly in front of you. Better than nothingness..

Suddenly, a strange noise entered your ears. Some sort of mechanical whirring. It sounded vaguely in front of you, though the reverberation from the tunnels made it hard to discern.

You tensed up again.

What if it was from those goons from last night? Or, even worse, what if it was-

As the source of the odd whirring sound came into view, you paused.

“Ohhhh my goodness…” Your startled reflexes swiftly softened as you registered the little purple drone levitating before you.

A very boop-able beak was on what you assumed to be its face, with petite propellers acting as limbs. Bottom line, it was adorable.

“Woah, how’s it hanging, dude?” the drone greeted. “D told me you got a bit turned around down here, but we’ll get you to the lair real quick.”

“Woah.” You admired the tech, tilting your head at it. “So, am I talking to Donnie or an algorithm right now?”

“Neither! The name’s S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. broski!” it- he introduced himself.

“Huh. Nice to meet you, S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.,” you responded and gave your name in return. “Would you mind please showing me to Donnie?”

“No problem!” the drone floated higher excitedly before whipping around. “Follow me. We’ll be back to the lab in a jiff.”

“Thanks!”

You trailed along the polite drone in silence, weaving and wandering through dim channels until he spoke up.

“So, you and D are cool?”

“Yeah, you could say that.” You tipped your head down inquisitively. 

“I don’t know what you see in him.”

You barked out a laugh at how abrupt his sass was. “Oh?”

“Yeah! He can be super overbearing sometimes- like, won’t-even-let-me-out-of-the-lair overbearing, you know? He’s gotten better about it, but he can still be way protective.”

“Surely it can’t be that bad,” you offered. The drone did not seem to agree.

“Oh, it can, bro! One time, he padlocked my propellers and I ended up in, like, a gang almost-”

As your conversation trailed off and you two moved, the area around you grew lighter and you found yourself in the empty atrium of the lair. S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. guided you up to the second floor, down a dim hallway, and to a stop in front of large, metallic doors as his rant about Donnie came to a close.

“Thanks, little guy. I appreciate the help.” You smiled, and the drone tilted his head and returned the gesture.

“Of course, bro! Just let me know if you get too bored with Donnie. Us cool people can hang out and do something less bogus.”

You chuckled. “I’ll let you know.”

With a small salute, you sent him whirring off.

You turned to face the sturdy-looking doors before you. Just as you moved to rap on them, the doors opened with a heavy sound of air. You took a confused glance to the right, left, before stepping into the lab.

The room consisted mostly of metallic silver hues with tables and shelves stacked up with a plethora of technological treasures. Purple mood lights illuminated the room softly, though it was still a lot more effective than your flashlight was.

Sounds of clinging and clanging proliferated from somewhere behind a shelf. You followed them, expecting to find your companion tinkering on something - perhaps the invention he was researching at the library?

Instead, you turned the corner to see him using the titanium arms that extended from his battle shell to swipe what was probably a literal ton of empty energy drinks off of his desk and into a trash can beside it.

You interrupted his tidying up with a cough to announce your presence.

Startled, he snapped his head back to look at you, his technology not ceasing to clear the irrelevant items from his desk.

“Oh. You made it. Congratulations,” he said, though his monotonous tone did not invoke any sentiment of felicitations.

“Yeah, I made it, little thanks to you.”

“I take it S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. behaved himself?”

“He was an angel.” You put a hand over your heart and walked up to him just as a thought struck you. “By the way, how did you know where to send S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.?”

“That is unimportant right now. What matters iiiis-” he paused to gesture to his desk, “-science! Engineering, to be more specific, but we can delve into that more later.”

“Hm.” You leaned over the desk, viewing a highly detailed blueprint and sheet of notes. The thought that he probably  definitely tracked your call faded as you immersed yourself in his work. “You mentioned a prototype of this yesterday?”

“I admire your tenacity, but would you not prefer to discuss the workings of the machine before seeing the results?” he queried.

“Is it not helpful to vary in learning techniques? I’m game for some visual learning.”

“Sigh, if you insist.”

Donnie turned around, delicately grabbed an object from a shelf beside him, set it down on the desk.

The metal object was spherical, for the most part, with some geometric patterns on the bottom to prop it up. It was sizable, though wieldy enough to be portable. On the side of it was an ingrained insignia you’d seen on his other tech, and beside that was an odd yet intentional divot in the side.

“About this prototype for the generator-” Donnie glanced to the side, “it’s been built, but I don’t have the juice for it yet.”

“So you don’t have the energy source for your energy source?”

He deadpanned at your teasing. “It’s a prototype for a reason.” 

“Is that dent where the mystic crystal or whatever is supposed to go?”

“Yes, it is intended to be for a crystal, though I’ll take any viable source I can get. Now, shall we discuss the behind the scenes?”

You nodded.

Before crashing into his own chair, he pulled up a stool for you. Oddly considerate, but you wouldn’t complain.

From talk of sinusoidal waves, frequencies, output and input responses from certain mystic crystals, the conversation went into a plenitude of tangentially related topics, the minutiae of which he had to explain to you, but you got the majority of it. However, such conversation came at a price, for one cannot blab and/or yap for an hour consecutively without obtaining a splitting headache and requiring sustenance.

Eventually, you cleared your throat to get his attention off of the blueprints for the energy source. The turtle met your gaze curiously.

“All this ‘being a genius’ stuff has left me positively parched,” you spoke up, popping the p’s. “You have anything to drink in here? Or is the lair’s kitchen better?”

It felt kind of weird to refer to his residence as a lair, but you were trying.

“This is a laboratory; it would be reprehensible to bring food or beverage in here.”

The two of you glanced down at the miniature trash can adjacent to his desk and the cans overflowing from it.

“Your trash begs to differ.”

He clicked his tongue. “Those cans are empty now, and I don’t have more. We probably have water in the fridge.”

“How about we go somewhere instead? Go for a walk, head to a cafe, get some fresh air. I would prefer not getting lost here again.”

Donnie hummed, tapped his chin.“Not a bad idea. You’re buying, though.”

“Sure!”

He blinked. “I was joking. Of course I’m going to buy my own beverage.”

“We’ll see,” you smiled, hopping up from your seat. “Do you want to grab a coat or something? The wind chill’s bad today.”

“Forcing me out of my lab for food, insisting I prepare for the weather, if I didn’t know better I might say you care about me.” Donnie raised a playful eyebrow.

“Don’t flatter yourself. And I haven’t forced you anywhere. For legal purposes.”

“You can wait here. I’ll be back in a moment.” Donnie hopped up and exited the lab, presumably to get some warmer clothes.

As he slipped out of the room, you traced a finger over the blueprints he had gushed over so adamantly. So much time and effort and knowledge had been poured into every aspect of this project, and that, not to mention the complexity of it, was enough to gain your respect. You pulled out your phone, snapped a quick picture of the paper, not the prototype for now, and slipped it back into your pocket.

You waited for an uncomfortable moment, literally twiddling your thumbs, trying to seem casual. There was a literal trove of things to check out or explore in the room, but you did not know how much time you had. 

And you couldn’t risk getting caught.

So you waited. And waited.

Okay, either Donnie ditched you or he just took forever to get ready.

Thinking back to how late he was to April’s party heavily implied the latter.

After another moment of just standing next to his desk, the sound of footsteps padding closer drew your attention up.

Lo and behold, in the doorway stood Donnie with crossed arms.

His mask and goggles remained the same, steadfast on his head, but he did put on some clothes. A snug black turtleneck and flowy lavender cargo pants had joined the ensemble, though there was still a severe lack of shoes.

“Okay, Steve Jobs.” The comment slipped out of your mouth before you could process it. It came across lightheartedly enough, though, based on Donnie’s grin.

“Don’t say that if you don’t mean it, because that’s going straight up here.” He tapped his index to his temple and started walking out of the lab. You followed after.

“I guess with all that square footage something’s bound to go up there.”

He wrinkled his nose in distaste.

You elbowed

“I’m kidding. Your brain capacity is bound to be maxed out already with all that knowledge.”

“Thanks? That- wasn’t derogatory, right?”

“What do you think?”

“That you’re patronizing me?”

“Sort of. I was mostly calling you smart, in a roundabout way.”

“Huh. So, thanks?”

“Welcome.”

You two quickly made your way out of the lair and onto the surface’s streets.

You realized just as quickly that you had no idea where you were headed to.

“Uhh, D?”

“I know. Unless you have other suggestions, I know a place nearby.”

“Oh, yeah, please lead the way. I genuinely had no idea where to go.”

“Ha,” he grinned, taking the lead down a few streets and corridors and bringing you two to a quaint coffee shop. String lights, beige bricks, sleek tables and booths, the store was modern and comely.

Of course, with it being New York City, the line was huge, but this place was concealed well enough that it at least wasn’t down the road.

While waiting in line, you didn’t talk much, instead opting to either scroll on your phones or try to figure out which kind of coffee or tea you wanted.

As you neared the register, still having no idea what you wanted, you passed the small refrigerated shelf of items.

“Oh, I’ve seen these before!” Your attention caught on some bottles of Yakult, so you selected one of the original flavors. “Never tried it though. Want to try it together?”

“Why not?” he grinned uncertainly and flashed a couple of thumbs up.

“That’s the spirit!”

You two made it to the register and ended up buying the probiotic drinks along with a couple of baked goods. Before he could make a move to pay for at least his items, you swooped in and bought them all with an innocent grin.

His glare saw through your unassuming demeanor.

You got your confections and drinks before making your way to an available booth. You took up a seat across from him and tried the new drink.

“I like it.” You nodded. It was citrusy, smooth, overall pleasant to indulge in.

“Oh. Mmmm…” he shuddered, forcing it down with a queasy smile on his face.

“Huh. You hate it,” you observed bemusedly. You relished the panic that washed over him at your comment.

“What? Nooo. This- this is very… not bad,” he faltered under your smug stare.

“It’s fine!” you reassured as you slid his Yakult toward yourself. “You don’t have to drink it if you don’t like it.”

“But-” he interjected, glancing down at the accursed drink, then back up to you. “But you bought it for me. I hardly consider it amiable to discard something that someone else purchased.”

“Well, luckily for us both, it’s not going to waste.”

Before he had the opportunity to ask you to elaborate, you took a long sip of the probiotic beverage. You smiled while doing so, coming face to face with a floored turtle when you set it back down on the table.

He stared numbly at you before stammering out, “I- you- do you have any idea how many germs we just shared?” 

“Oh well,” you shrugged. “Despite the atrocious things that come out of it, I think you have a fairly clean mouth. Now, how about we get you something else to drink? Something that you don’t find atrocious.”

“Fine, but I’ll be paying for it this time.”

You smiled knowingly, hand already fastened on your wallet. “We’ll see.”

The grin stayed smugly planted on your face as you made it to the front counter and slapped your payment down before he could.

“You’re just gonna have to settle with buying next time,” was your response to his scowl.

“Next time?” Donnie seemed taken aback.

You shrugged playfully. “Unless you don’t want to do this again. I’m good either way.”

“Um, no, n-next time’s on me,” he said hesitantly.

“Alright then. Do you want to tell the barista what you want?” you urged, indicating toward a visibly disinterested worker behind the counter.

“Right!” Donnie finally made it back onto this plane of reality and sprung into action, making his selection from the refrigerated section beside the counter.

“Flavorless juice?” Your jaw dropped as he slid it to the worker.

“Uh, yeah? They’ve got the good kind here. 50% less flavor…”

“Okay then…” you opted to judge him silently and let the man enjoy his juice, albeit an atrocious variety of juice.

You started walking back to the booth before a notification on your phone made you pause. Taking it out, your eyes widened.

“Oh, uh, I spent a lot longer with you than I thought I did. Um, I’ve got to go now, but I’ll catch you later?”

“Y-Yeah! Later!”

You left him standing there with a smile and a couple of finger guns before bounding off toward the exit and out of his view.

Once you left his field of vision, he looked back down at his drink. The drink you bought for him. The drink you spent additional time and money on to get for him just because he couldn’t texturally handle the other one you’d bought him.

What you mentioned earlier about doing this again sounded quite nice.

Perhaps, instead of waiting for fate or probability or whatever was at play to cause you to run into each other again, it could be a more active endeavor, something conscious.

That didn’t sound half bad to him.

(chapter artwork HERE)

Taglist~ @rottmntsimp

@envyjmoney

[mbakuetshurisprincess]

A Betting Woman

AN: Hey y’all! So I’m trynna do some palate cleansers while I work on BTB3 cause lord is that one just emotionally taxing to create lol. 80% of this fic is just Riri and Shuri talking about you and how they view you so there's that. This was heavily inspired by the wonderful work of @generallysapphic who is thee supreme when it comes to Shuriri postings. There's someone else who wrote a Shuriri fic but I can’t find them anymore. Just some cute shit to post fr. Set on a timeline where you went with Shuri to defeat Namor but Riri is a super genius. 

Summary: Normally these types of moral dilemmas don’t bother Riri but after meeting your girlfriend, the queen of Wakanda. Riri decides to pay you a visit to end things. 

Pairing: Shuri x Fem!Reader, Riri x Fem!Reader and the beginnings of Shuri x Riri.

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of D/S dynamic, kissing, i think thats it. 

Translation: Sthandwa - my love , Entle - Beautiful & Usana - baby. 

Word count: 2,864 

Suggested listening: WILSHIRE - Tyler, The Creator. 

“It's morals I really have, it's lines I could never cross But you got somethin' that make All them good intentions get lost I try to keep it together, never felt this way”

Riri knocked quickly on the door three times, rocking on her heels as she did it. 

“Busy right now!” Someone called from the other side of the door. The genius didn’t know if the voice was yours or not but she didn’t care.

‘Oh no, that bitch did not.’ Riri thought to herself. She brought her fist to the door and knocked harder this time. Everything was always on your schedule and Riri was going to be damned if her ending this fling was on your time too. She heard some rustling around and the bed creek before the door opened up enough to reveal a person on the other side. 

The person Riri was expecting to see behind your dorm door was you, it was your room after all. Instead, she was met by the exact person she was here to talk to you about, Shuri. The taller woman stood in your doorway leaning up against the post. She was wearing a black sports bra and a matching pair of black sweats with golden embroidery on the side. The sweatpants hung low on her waist and Riri could make out the band of Shuri’s boxers. ‘She’s a Calvin Klein girl huh,’ The thought came to the mechanic quicker than she could stop it and she mentally cursed herself for getting so off track. 

“Riri Williams, right?” Shuri tilted her head to the side, allowing the name to roll off her tongue. 

Riri’s eyes flashed over Shuri’s figure one more time before she finally pulled herself together. “Yeah that’s me,” She cleared her throat. “Is uh Y/N here?” Riri tried to look further into the room but Shuri blocked her movements with her body. 

This unintentionally gave the younger girl an opportunity to ogle at the Queen’s perfectly sculpted abs and steal a glance at her waistline again, so she wasn’t complaining. 

“No Y/N is busy right now, can it wait?” 

Snapping back into the conversation Riri finally got back to her original plan. “No it really can’t wait, I’ve been needed to talk to her about this.” 

Shuri pondered over Riri’s words for a few moments looking her up and down as she did. Riri wondered if she might melt under Shuri’s gaze. Something about the monarch was slowly starting to make her weak in the knees. She averted her eyes back down to the floor, once again sneaking glances at Shuri’s body as she did. 

“Well I’m sure whatever you wanted to tell her, you can tell me and I’ll relay the message,” Shuri suggested. She had noticed the way Riri was staring at her and decided to play into it. “Is it normal for American girls to make it this obvious when they’re checking someone out, or is it just you?”

Riri snapped her head back up to meet Shuri’s eyes, “What!? I wasn’t- Why would you say that? No, I wasn’t! '' Riri slowly started panicking.

Had she really been that blatant in her staring that the queen would notice? And this was totally not what she came here for or what she had rehearsed saying. 

Shuri relished seeing Riri’s cheeks flush with a dark red blush as she tried to regain herself. “Ah. No matter.” Shuri said with a smile. “What is it that you wanted to tell Y/N?” 

‘No fucking way.’ Riri thought to herself. ‘No fucking way did I just get bested at my own game! Bitch had me stuttering over MY words when I came here to end shit with HER girlfriend. I can’t go out like that.’ 

Riri opened her mouth to speak, after brainstorming something logical like ‘No I need to talk to her in person.’ or ‘I literally have her location and know she’s here right now. I need to speak with her.’ All of those would have been rational things to say but instead what came out of Riri’s mouth was fueled by nothing but good old-fashioned Chicago pride. 

“I’m fucking your girlfriend.” She blurted out.

Shuri tilted her head to the side and chuckled lightly before turning around and closing the door behind her. Riri was left standing in the dormitory hallway staring at the now-closed door. What the fuck was she thinking?? Telling the Queen of arguably the most powerful nation in the world that you were not just seeing her girlfriend, but FUCKING her? Surely that was enough to get her killed and probably in a way no one would know. She would just slowly fade out of the popular consciousness until no one remembered her name; all over some pussy. Great pussy at that, but still. She was roused from her thoughts by the door opening and Shuri standing on the other side once again. 

“I know you’re ‘fucking my girlfriend.’” She said the last part in air quotations with a chuckle. “Are you going to come in so we can finally discuss this or just stand outside confused?” 

The question caught Riri off guard and she stood there staring at Shuri, unsure of what her next move should be. She hadn’t planned for this at all. She had expected to come to your dorm room today and completely end things with you. Normally she didn’t have an issue with sleeping with people who were cheating on their partners. That was someone else’s moral dilemma not hers. But after interacting with Shuri today while she was a guest speaker at a lab on campus, the guilt started eating her alive. 

Eventually, Shuri got bored of waiting and grabbed Riri’s shoulder pulling the small girl into the dorm room and shutting the door behind her. 

“Come in and sit down.” Shuri walked back over to the bed and hopped onto it. When Riri didn’t move it prompted Shuri to speak again. “Do not act like you do not know her room entle, make yourself at home.” 

Riri wanted to ask what entle meant but decided that was the least of her problems right now. She made her way over to the bean bag in the opposite corner of the room and sunk down into it. She could hear the sound of the shower running in the bathroom connected to your dorm and assumed that's where you were since your location had pinged as here, yet you weren't in the room currently. 

“She shouldn’t take too long,” Shuri said noticing where Riri’s line of sight was going. “We can wait till she gets here or you can ask whatever you’d like to ask now.” 

The younger girl shifted in her seat and contemplated what Shuri had proposed. “I’ll wait for Y/N to get out of the shower.” 

Shuri nodded and picked back up the book that was lying on the bed. Riri watched Shuri intently as she read. How was she being so cool right now? Sitting in the same room as your girlfriend's lover would typically draw a stronger reaction out of the average person but the royal seemed to be in a very relaxed state. 

‘Duh’ Riri thought to herself, it’s because Shuri already knew. She had told Riri already so her presence couldn't have been that much of a surprise to her. This thought in turn only raised more questions for Riri. 

‘How long had she known?’

‘Was she upset with Y/N?’ 

And most importantly,

‘How much did she really know?’ 

Shuri looked up from her book and caught Riri staring at her once again, which must be a theme for the night. Riri cleared her throat and spoke. “I change my mind, I’d like to ask my questions and you answer them.” She paused, “Right now.” 

Shuri chuckled at the girl's forwardness. “Y/N did say you didn’t have much patience, I see she wasn’t lying about that… Among other things,” 

Riri swore when Shuri said it she caught Shuri looking her up and down. Shuri didn’t even give her enough time to react before continuing. “But go ahead, I’ll do my best to answer them.” 

“How long have you known about us?” 

“Since the beginning,” Shuri replied simply. 

“And you’re not mad?” Riri questioned, sitting up in the bean bag chair.

“Why would I be?” Shuri questioned back with a genuine look of confusion on her face. 

Shuri’s look of confusion was replicated on Riri after hearing her answer and seeing the woman's face. “Uhh, because while you’re in Wakanda saving the world and shit, I’m here with two fingers buried deep in your girl!” 

“Just two? Normally she likes three but whatever works for you guys really.” Shuri’s sarcasm left Riri’s mouth agape and which only fueled Shuri’s laughter. Once she had pulled herself together Shuri apologized and said she would actually answer Riri’s question, earning a huff of agitation from her. 

“You already answered your question in your question, entle.” Once again Shuri spoke coolly and used that entle word that Riri couldn’t understand. 

“What the hell does that even mean!” Riri sucked her teeth as she spoke. “No more weird shit, no more nicknames in other languages, just explain this shit to me 'cause it’s not making any sense.” 

Shuri nodded, understanding that Riri did deserve the full story. She wanted to wait for you to come out of the shower but the combination of not knowing exactly how much longer you were going to take and her sensing Riri’s agitation; she was compelled to speak. 

“What I mean by that is you gave yourself the answer already. Y/N is here for school for most of the year and I’m kept busy looking after Wakanda. My love has needs that unfortunately due to the distance most of the time I cannot fill. She’s permitted to fulfill these needs in any way she chooses, as am I.”

Riri looked dumbfounded once again as she digested Shuri’s words. “So you’ve known this whole time?” 

“Mhm.”

“About everything?” 

“Pretty much yeah.” Shuri tapped her fingers on her stomach where they lay interlaced. 

“Even the sex?” Riri probed. There was no way Shuri was just so chill about this. 

Shuri was humored, sensing that Riri was hoping to incite an angry response. “Yes, even the sex. Of which I only heard good things about so I must give you credit Ms.Williams, you kept my girl satisfied.” 

The blush returned to Riri’s face and she felt her lips creep into a smile upon hearing Shuri’s praise. Her cocky side came out and she decided to get smart. “You weren't worried I was gonna take her from you?”

“Oh, not for one second. Y/N’s collared, she’s not going anywhere anytime soon.” Shuri replied confidently. Seeing Riri’s confusion she moved her hand down to the necklace resting on her chest; holding it up before letting it fall back down. “Never noticed her necklace? I know she doesn't take it off.” 

Riri’s mind flashed images of you and to Shuri’s credit in all of the scenes, a golden necklace with a small claw was hanging from your neck. Even in the ones where Riri’s head was buried between your thighs and your head was thrown back as you cam-

‘Focus Riri!’ She thought to herself. 

“So she’s your submissive?” Riri clarified.

“Wow, you are pretty smart. Maybe you do live up to that genius title after all.” Shuri quipped with a smirk. “But yes, Bast has gifted me with an amazing girlfriend and sub.”  

Riri desperately wanted to make a smart remark back at the royal but she stifled it in favor of getting more information about your dynamic Shuri. What she had learned thus far intrigued and turned her on. “And she listens to you, a hundred percent of the time?” 

“A hundred and fifty percent of the time.” Shuri corrected her. “Does she not do the same for you?”

“Hell fuckin no she does not!” Riri exclaimed. “There is not a bone in that girl's body that knows how to listen, everything with her is a fight.” 

“My Y/N? Never. She knows better than to even make me repeat myself.” Shuri was baffled at what Riri had said but also intrigued at the idea of seeing a more bratty side of you.

“I don’t believe it, she’s not physically capable of listening.” Riri tapped the side of her head to mimic how hard-headed you acted with her. 

The sound of the shower turning off, signifying your arrival soon gave Shuri an idea. “Do you want me to show you just how well she listens?” 

A smirk slipped onto Riri’s face as she picked up on Shuri’s idea. “Yeah I do, show me how well your girl listens.” 

Shuri let out a puff of air along with her laugh and nodded. You stepped out of the bathroom looking down at something on your towel. 

Let the show begin.

Your bathroom door was on the wall that ran parallel to where your bed was, so when you looked up you were first met with Shuri. “Whew! I needed that baby, I don’t think I was conscious for the first ten minutes of that shower.” You beamed as you made your way over to the bed, still unaware of Riri’s presence in the room. 

“Of course sthandwa. And more to come tonight, you know that. We wouldn’t want to be rude to our guests before that though. Why don’t you go say hello to our friend.” Shuri nodded past you and to the corner. 

You spun around confused at what “friend” Shuri was referring to and immediately alarm bells began ringing in your head. There sat Riri, looking calm as ever manspreading on your bean bag chair. 

“What’s up ma.” She said with a smirk. 

“Oh fuck no.” You murmured under your breath. Never in your life did you expect to mix your worlds like this. Sure both women had known about the other but never in a million years had you imagined them to be in the same room together. You instantly started moving towards the bathroom door, hoping to lock yourself in and formulate a plan without being under either woman's gaze. 

Of course, Shuri calling out a strong “Stop.” ended all hopes of that as a means of escape. “Go give Riri a kiss, I’ve taught you better manners than that.” 

You looked back at your girlfriend as if she had lost her mind. Yes, you had told her every detail about your relationship with Riri and described the sex in explicit detail. But to kiss her in front of Shuri? Something about that felt so wrong it was right. 

“You know I won’t repeat myself without punishment, usana. Go.” Shuri gestured over to Riri who was taking the whole scene in. She watched as you shifted your weight between your feet, debating if you would listen to Shuri. If Riri was a betting woman, she would have bet her entire life savings at that moment that you wouldn’t listen. 

Good thing Riri didn’t like to bet. 

You walked over to Riri and gave her a small smile, slightly embarrassed knowing that Riri just watched you fold to Shuri. “Hi.” 

“So you do know how to listen the first time?” Riri concluded, the smirk still on her face. 

“Only when the right person asks me.” You maintained, crossing your arms across your chest to keep the towel from falling. Shuri heard your response and let out a light laugh and a “Be nice my love.” 

“You heard what your girlfriend said though ma, gimme me a kiss.” Riri sat up in the beanbag chair awaiting you to make the move. 

You looked back at Shuri one more time, kissing other girls had never been an issue for you before but for some reason doing it in front of her felt different. Secretly it turned you on to know that your girlfriend not only ordered but encouraged you to kiss Riri. 

Fuck it. 

You bent down and Riri pulled your face to hers so that your lips met. As soon as they touched Riri hungrily devoured them savoring the taste of you. By now you knew her style and you opened your mouth slightly so her tongue could come in and meet yours. Shuri watched from the bed as you two made out, turned on by the hunger you both displayed. She could tell the two of you were getting into it, Riri especially as she brought her other hand up to cup your cheek.

Deciding this was the perfect opportunity to prove her point Shuri ordered. “Step back Y/N.” 

Once again if Riri could bet she would have bet her life on the fact that you wouldn’t pull away. You loved kissing and she could tell that you were especially enjoying this little makeout session by the way your chest was heaving up and down. 

And once again it was a good thing Riri didn’t bet often. 

You unlatched your lips from Riri’s and stood back up, taking a few steps back in the process. Riri’s eyes flashed between yours and Shuri’s unable to believe what had just happened. 

“Told you she could listen.”

[msmargaretmurry]

18 matthew/leon

18 - things you said when you were scared

(cw for being outed)

In the video, Matthew is instantly recognizable: his curls, wild and golden in the sunshine; his dimpled grin; that stupid Elbo Room t-shirt. His companion is less recognizable, all swim trunks and thick muscle, dark wet hair slicked back from the pool. Over the course of the nine-second clip, Matthew, in the video, tugs this man in and kisses him briefly, then pulls back to say something, then laughs as he’s kissed by the man, longer and more thoroughly. The man has a great ass, and Matthew’s hands find it eagerly as they shift out of view. The cameraperson tries for a moment to find a new angle that works through the foliage and fencing, then gives up. That’s it.

Apparently the Bahamas aren’t far enough to go for some privacy.

While Matthew paces in the bedroom of their rented condo with what seems like his entire family including his uncle-agent on speakerphone, Leon sinks as deep into the couch as is humanly possible, watching the video on repeat in the Tweet that gave it to the world. Leon knows the exact moment it was taken, because it was only yesterday. It would be a hot video if it weren’t so horrifying. They look good together. Matthew looks so happy.

It should be more of a relief that the video doesn’t include a good shot of his face. Instead Leon just feels guilty that Matthew’s the only one getting blown up about it. Feels anxious, waiting for someone to figure it out. Feels nauseous, waiting for what Matthew will say when he emerges from his conference call. Most of what Leon gets through the door is Matthew’s side of the conversation — “I don’t know, I don’t know,” he keeps saying, his voice pitched high, tight with stress. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he keeps saying. “That part doesn’t matter,” a bunch of times in a row, then in an exasperated burst: “That’s none of your business. That’s nobody’s business.”

Leon has no idea who Matthew told his family he was going on vacation with. He just knows it wasn’t him. That’s fine. That’s how it’s supposed to be. 

After an eternity, the bedroom door flies open and Matthew stomps into the main room to start furiously gathering his things.

“I’m going home,” he bites out. 

Leon sits up so quickly his head spins a little. “Sorry, what?”

Matthew doesn’t even pause. He grabs his hoodie from the back of the sofa, his flip-flops from by the door. “There’s a flight tonight, I can make it if I pack fast.”

“”You’re leaving.”

“Um, obviously. My mom’s upset, my dad’s confused, we need to figure out what to do next—”

“Okay, yeah, but what about me?”

Matthew finally whirls to look at him. “What about you?”

It’s like a slap in the face.

“Wow,” says Leon. “Fuck you, too, I guess.”

Matthew deflates. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he says, and rubs a hand over his face, through his hair. “Fuck.”

“No, it’s fine, I get it.” And he does get it, really. Matthew’s life just got rocked, not Leon’s. And it’s not like this is serious, between them. If it was serious, Matthew’s parents wouldn’t be asking who the guy in the video is. Leon’s parents would know where he is right now. When they’d made the plans, Matthew had laughed and said, a lot of effort just to fuck. Leon had grinned and said, yeah, but I’ll make it worth your while.

Leon rocks to his feet and heads for the bedroom. He might as well start packing.

“Leon—” Matthew says, following after him. “I’m sorry, okay? I don’t have time to have this fight right now.”

“We’re not fighting,” Leon says. “You’re leaving, so there’s no point in me staying, so I’m leaving, too.”

“Fuck you,” says Matthew. “You don’t get to be pissed at me right now.”

He’s right. And Leon’s not pissed, not really. Not at Matthew. At whoever did this. A couple of barely-famous hockey players aren’t the kind of people this shit is supposed to happen to. Barely even barely famous. Matthew was right on the phone with his family — it’s not anyone’s business.

“You’re right,” Leon says with a sigh. “I’m sorry. You’re right. Come here.”

Matthew is tense all over, but he lets Leon fold him into a hug. Leon rubs his back, kisses the side of his head, tries not to wonder if this is the last time they’ll ever do this.

“Sorry,” Leon says again.

Matthew exhales wetly against his neck. “I have to leave. I can’t be here. You know I hate people getting in my business. I can’t—”

“I know, I know, I know,” Leon says. He hugs Matthew tighter as his stomach ties itself in knots. 

“I’ll figure out what to tell people,” Matthew mumbles, his fingers curling into Leon’s shirt. “I can just say it was some guy I met here — maybe I wanted a vacation alone or something, I don’t know— I mean, my parents will hate that, they want me to have a secret nice boyfriend or something so we can trot him out and be like, look, still totally wholesome, nothing to see here—”

“Okay,” Leon says.

There’s a beat, and then Matthew pulls back to look at him with a frown. “Okay what?”

“I just mean, if it’s easier that way.” Leon’s brain catches up with what’s coming out of his mouth, and his cheeks are suddenly hot. “I mean. If you need me to be a boyfriend. If that would help. I can do that.”

Matthew stares. “I don’t— I can’t ask you to do that.”

“Did you ask?” Leon says. “No. I’m just saying. If you want.”

It’s probably a very stupid offer. The kind of offer that could blow up Leon’s life in ways he’s only ever thought about as vague, distant what-ifs. The kind of offer you’re supposed to offer only if it’s serious. Definitely the kind of offer he should think about for more than five seconds, but none of that seems particularly important right now.

Matthew sags into the hug again, holding on even tighter than before. Leon squeezes him, kisses his hair, breathes in the smell of the ocean.

“At the very least let me help you pack,” he murmurs. Matthew lets out a long, shaky breath, his fingers digging into Leon’s back.

“Maybe I can fly out in the morning instead.”

[aemondapologistfrfr]

Dethrone - Chapter 6

Warnings: I guess like pg-13 with an intense makeout, probably a swear word somewhere Authors Note: rhaenyra deserves better, this is basically just plotting and manipulating and setting up for the story to progress, ps next chapter will have some smut bc bffr this man is too fine not to Word Count: 2.7k

⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆

I wake up to the sun peaking through the curtains. I stretch out and frown when I don’t feel Aemond. I see a note scribbled out and left on the table. I walk over to it and scan over it.

“My love, I’m off to train for the morning. I’ve had a dress brought up for you. Should you need anything just ask the guard or come to the yard and get me. -Aemond.”

I look around his chambers and see a dress spread across one of his chairs. It’s a soft blue dress with tons of white embroidery and gem details. I slip the dress on and walk over to his vanity to try and tame my hair.

Once I’m ready I walk to the door and place my ear to it to see if I can hear anyone outside. I’m greeted with silence so I quickly open the door and slip out. I get lost a couple of times trying to find the training yard but I’m not in a rush and I’m happy to explore and take in the architectural beauty that is the Red Keep. I finally find the main hall and doors and make my exit to search for the training yard.

When I see his silver hair flowing around him as he trains I can’t help but to smile. How could this beautiful man ever think so lowly of himself. I stand back in the crowd and admire him. When he finally turns towards me I see his face light up. He pushes the man he was fighting to the ground and walks over to me.

“Hello my love.” he coos pulling me into a hug.

“Hi.” I say shyly looking up to him.

“Did you sleep well?” he smiles down to me warmly stroking my cheek.

“Mm I did.” I hum closing my eyes.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Jace shouts pulling us out of our bubble.

“None of your business.” I say turning towards him.

“Daemon has been looking for you.” he says glaring at me and then to Aemond.

“I’m sure he has.” I bitterly laugh.

“Are you just going to spend all your time here with him?” Jace spits with disgust.

“Why don’t you go with Jace and I’ll come find you later.” Aemond says softly in my ear making turn towards him.

“I’m scared they won’t let me see you again if I leave you now.” I whisper.

“I promise you’ll see me again.” he says tenderly grabbing my hand.

“I better. Or I’ll come find you.” I say furrowing my eyebrows.

“Go on.” he says sweetly kissing my hand.

“I’m still here.” Jace says annoyed.

“Yeah I’m coming.” I roll my eyes and walk over to Jace.

We walk silently out of the training yard and I can’t feel the tension around us. My mind is racing as to what my father has told everyone. Surely he hasn’t told them the truth.

“So what the fuck happened last night??” Jace questions once were out of ear shot of the people in the yard.

“What do you mean?” I ask trying to avoid this conversation but gain information about what my father has said.

“I overheard Daemon yelling about you to my mother.” he says side eyeing me.

“And what did you hear exactly?” I pry for more information.

“I just heard something about you and Aemond and the street of silk.” he raises his eyebrow.

“That’s it?” I ask.

I wonder what Daemon has told Rheanyra. I doubt he told her about his whore. I know he wouldn’t miss an opportunity to make himself seem like the bigger person. Clearly he hasn’t told everyone the exact story if Jace is here asking me about it.

“They won’t tell us. We’ve been trying to find you all morning.” he says slowing his pace as Daemon and Rheanyra come into view.

“Well, let’s go see what I did.” I groan as we get closer to them.

Once we make our way over to them I stand there waiting for the yelling to begin. Daemons neck is slightly red around his cut. He looks at me curiously and I can’t figure out the emotion behind his eyes. Rheanyra stands at his side with her hands folded in front of her.

“Where have you been daughter?” Daemon says reaching for my hand which I quickly place behind my back avoiding his touch.

“What happened to your neck father?” the word feels like venom on my tongue as I raise my eyebrows staring at his neck.

We stare at each other waiting to see who will speak first. I see a smirk tugging on the ends of his mouth. I stand up straight and hold my ground never breaking eye contact. We stare at each other in a stand off, neither of us willing to back down.

“Your father got into a scuffle with some men in the streets looking for you last night. We should all be grateful he got away with just a cut.” Rheanyra rips through our silence making Daemon break the eye contact first.

“Gods be great. My hero.” my voice dripping with sarcasm.

Did he really paint himself as the hero? Off looking for me and just ran into some trouble. How can he just lie to Rheanyra like that? She’s never been anything but kind to me and she deserves to know.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jace asks giving me a sideways look.

“Enough.” Rheanyra says sternly stepping between us. “I have no idea what is going on with you two, but we will deal with this in private. Let’s go. Now.” she says intensely staring at me and then to Daemon.

Rheanyra brushes past Daemon and we all begin to follow her. We follow her up to her and Daemons chambers and all find places to sit in the sitting room. Daemon has an air of arrogance that enrages me that he thinks he’ll get away with betraying Rheanrya.

“The rest of you off to Jaces chambers. We would like to speak to Viktorya alone.” Rheanyra says to the other children and they all start to file out.

“So what’s the story then?” I ask raising an eyebrow lounging further back into the couch.

“There is no story to be told besides yours. I spent all night worried sick looking for you.” Daemon says his gaze burning into mine.

I sit there for a moment and think. If I think this through quickly I can use this to my advantage. I can use the truth for a more ideal time. If I cover for my father now I can use him to start a public courtship with Aemond. By having my father support us will allow others to agree and will complete the first step on our path to the throne.

“I will admit to going out and spending the night with my cousins. I’m sorry if I’ve let you guys down. I just wanted to have a care free night and I ended up falling asleep on Aemonds couch.” I say sounding apologetic and avoiding eye contact.

When I look up I catch my father’s eye and see him slightly raise his eyebrow curiously. I slightly nod my head and then turn to Rhaenyra with remorse. My sadness for Rhaenyra is genuine and I wish she was with anyone other than my pig of a father. She looks worried of the news that I spent time with her half brothers.

“Did they do anything you didn’t want or did they bring you any harm?” Rheanyra asks looking concerned more than anything.

“No. They were perfect gentlemen and took care of me all night.” I speak truthfully of Aemond at least.

“I would be lying if I said I’m not surprised.” Rhaenyra says relieved in that sense.

“We must be careful and thoughtful of our actions. We don’t need anymore court drama than necessary. No more sleepovers in others chambers and no more rumors of being spotted in flea bottom, let alone the street of silk.” Daemon says finishing up the fake parental scolding.

“Understood father. May I go to my chambers?” I ask trying to sound like a dutiful daughter and not roll my eyes.

“Of course, I’ll check on you later.” he says holding my gaze for a moment.

I quickly make it back to my chambers and shut the door behind me. I let out a huge breath. My mind is racing with the decision I just made. I feel terrible that I lied to Rhaenyra, but so did Daemon.

I glide over to my balcony seeking fresh air and jump back when I see Aemond looking on at the city. He turns around on my approach and breaks out into a smile.

“How did everything go?” he asks pulling me into a hug. He listens intently as I tell him of everything that happened. “So what is the favor you’re seeking from Daemon?” he asks pulling back to look at me curiously.

“An opportunity to start paving our way. For me and you to have a chance.” I blush looking down.

“What do you mean?” Aemond asks softly tilting my chin up with his hand.

“To have him support our courtship. If that’s what you were to want? I don’t even know if that’s what you truly want, we haven’t fully discussed it. I just put everything on the line. Maybe I’m being too pushy-“ I ramble on and he cuts me off with a fierce kiss.

He pulls me impossibly closer and all my worry and doubt melts away. He guides me back into my chambers slowly so we’re not on display on the balcony. He pulls back and we’re both breathless.

“You would lie and deceive if it means being with me?” he asks looking down at me completely blown away.

“I have and I will again if I must.” I respond cupping his jaw affectionately.

“No one has ever acted so selflessly for me before, my love.” he looks at me softly leaning into my hand.

“He’s coming to my chambers later and we will discuss the future from here. I want you to be here too if that’s okay.” I ask not wanting to sound needy.

“Of course I will be here, you’re doing this for us.” Aemond says with a gentle smile.

“Thank you for this dress. I think it’s quite beautiful and it’s one of my favorite colors. It reminds me of a clear sky.” I say playing with the skirt of my dress.

“You are absolutely breathtaking.” he hums pushing me back so he can fully admire me.

He grabs my hand and slowly spins me around and I give him a lazy smile. Being with Aemond is so calm I feel like I can truly just be. He pulls me back to him and places a quick kiss on my lips that has me chasing him for more. He chuckles and captures my lips once more. We fall back onto the couch and into a daze of kisses and mingled breaths. Time doesn’t seem to exist as we get lost in each other.

⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆

We spent most of the day lounging around my chambers having snacks and drinks brought to us. We discuss potential ways we can start making moves to get closer to the throne. A knock at the door has us pausing our conversation.

“Who is it?” I sit up annoyed.

“Your father wanting to check up on you.” Daemon says too sweetly through the door.

“One moment.” I call back as Aemond goes to open the door for him.

“Come in.” Aemond says opening the door just wide enough for Daemon to enter.

“Viktorya you’re more like me than either of us cares to admit.” Daemon chuckles closing the door behind him.

“You only said I couldn’t sleep in others chambers. Not that I couldn’t have guests.” I say matter of factly as I continue lounging on the couch not bothering to get up.

“My point.” Daemon says as he takes a seat in one of the chairs and props his legs up on the table. “So what is it that you want?” he looks from me to Aemond.

“I would like your support for mine and Aemonds courtship.” I state firmly. My father looks at me deep in thought. He glances between the both of us accessing and calculating. He breathes out a deep breath and looks to us, it seems he’s comes to a conclusion.

“I can giving you my blessing for the courtship and I will allow you to reside in Kings Landing.” he decides. “It’s going to take some time for me to talk to the boys and for them to process and understand. I think in the long run your relationship will prove useful.” he says the last part more to himself than us.

I quite like the idea of living in Kings Landing for while. I don’t really understand what he meant about our courtship being “useful” but I’m glad we have his support. I want to get Vaelys and my things as soon as possible so I can settle into my new life. Kings Landing will offer me a new start and more places to see.

“Aemond will fly me to Dragonstone tomorrow and we shall return before court is held at the end of the week. I expect you to have the conversations and make the announcements by the time we return or I tell Rhaenyra the truth.” I say with no room to budge.

“As you wish.” Daemon rolls his eyes and gets up to leave. “Hopefully we can make this beneficial for everyone.” he tosses over his shoulder before closing the door.

“I think that went well.” I look at Aemond as he walks over to me on the couch.

“I’m pleased to have you all to myself in Kings Landing.” he says pulling me up to him. “I get to show you all new places,” he smirks. “and pleasures.” he adds bringing his mouth to my neck.

I gasp in surprise and expose more of my neck to him. He continues his journey up to my jaw and slowly makes his way back to my lips. He walks us backwards and we descend into a chair. He lifts me so I’m straddling him and pulls back breathlessly with a blown pupil.

I slowly remove his eyepatch and discard it next to us and absentmindedly clench my thighs around him. He wraps his hand around the back of my neck and roughly pulls me into a kiss. This isn’t like the passionate, slow kisses we’ve shared before. Our teeth clash and his catch my bottom lip causing me to cry out.

He releases my lip and reclaims them once more. His other arm wraps around my waist and pulls me closer. I hear him let out a strangled grunt when I accidentally grind against him.

“Fuck Princess,” his voice is wrecked as his other hand flies to my waist to still me.

“I’m sorry,” I pant. “It just felt so good I didn’t mean-“ he cuts me off with another kiss.

“Do not apologize.” he whispers between kisses slowly detaching us making me whine. “As much as I would love for us to continue, I think we should get ready for bed.” he says walking over to my wardrobe.

Aemond grabs out a sleep dress for me and excuses himself to my bathing chamber while I change. He comes out without a shirt and wearing sleep pants. He helps me into bed and slips in next to me.

“Sleep well my love.” Aemond says pulling me to his chest and kissing my forehead.

[svechnikovvv]

when in chicago

pairing: quinn hughes x actress!fem!reader

warning: profanity

summary: chicago was a magical place sometimes

a/n: i’ve binged 11 episodes of chicago pd today, so that inspired this. also, this is just so you guys can have some sort of content out there.

masterlist: here

*in this, the character you play is, hmmm let’s say detective amelia thompson*

“okay, camera’s rolling in one… two… three!” you quickly get into character.

“jay,” you say warningly before he gives you a kiss, then pulling back.

“amelia,” he says in the same tone.

“you know what will happen if voight finds out.” he gives you another kiss

“lucky us, he won’t.” he smirks down at you

“he’s a fucking detective. he’s gonna find out.” you harshly whisper, turning your back to him and going back to making your coffee. his arms wrap around your waist and he rests his head on your shoulder.

“look, babe, i have it all under control.”

“the last time you said that to me, you lost my cat.” you then hear footsteps nearing and you & jesse quickly separate as you finish making the coffee.

“morning sarge,” you call out, getting a grunt in response. you then give jesse a pointed look and walk out the small office. the director then calls cut and you find somewhere to set down the mug. jesse walks over to you and sits down on the edge of the desk.

“what do you have planned tonight?” he asks you

“nothing, honestly.” he nods

“be ready at 6.” you raise a brow at him

“jesse, are you taking me on a date?” he shakes his head

“it’s a surprise.” you roll your eyes

“what’s the dress code?” he shrugs

“causal, but warm.” you give him a skeptical look, but are cut off by the director telling you to get in your places. the rest of filming goes by smoothly and around 5, you all call it a day.

“i’ll be at your place in an hour. that sound good to you?” you nod your head at jesse and he bids you goodbye as you both go your separate ways. your hair was wavy from the stylists on set, so you figured you’d keep it this way for whatever he had planned.

causal, but warm. what does that even mean? you rummage through your closet and grab a pair of jeans, your favorite pair to be exact. you pair them with a black v-neck and your converse. okay, so there’s casual. now, the warm part. you find a light, white jacket and add it to the outfit. giving yourself a pat on the back, you change into the outfit. 40 minutes until you have to leave.

to pass the time, you make yourself a light snack and catch up on some reading. soon, knocks echo throughout your apartment and you get up, unlocking the door and swinging it open.

“ready?” you nod and lock up your place behind you, heading out the apartment complex and to jesse’s car.

“seat warmers asap.” you rub your hands together and buckle up your seatbelt. before jesse drives away, he reaches into his backseat and grabs a bag, setting it in your lap.

“what is it?”

“just open it.” you open the bag and pull out a quinn hughes jersey. you gasped and looked at him, mouth agape. maybe you let it slip one drunken night that you had something for the canucks’ defenseman. you didn’t think anyone would remember it, though.

“they’re playing against the blachawks tonight and i thought you should have a jersey to wear to the game.”

“what do you mean wear to the game?” he then holds up two tickets to the canucks v blackhawks game and you went silent. you then reached across the console and engulfed him in a hug. he laughs and then you sit back down in your seat.

“now we should get going before our seats get cold.” you laugh at his awful joke and he pulls out of his parking spot, heading to the arena.

when you arrive, there’s already a lot of people flooding in. you and jesse navigate your seats and get comfortable.

before the first period starts, your and jesse’s face light up on the jumbotron.

“from chicago pd, please welcome jesse lee soffer & y/n l/n.” a lot of people cheer and the two of you smile and wave.

soon, the first period is underway and you see that familiar number 43 that, until now, you’ve only seen on your tv skate out onto the ice.

“there’s your man,” jesse nudges you, and you hit him playfully as he laughs.

“he probably has no clue who the hell i am.”

“he’ll know who you are after tonight.”

“what do you mean by that?”

“just that i pulled a couple strings so you could meet them after the game.” your eyes go wide and he shrugs. you squint your eyes at him.

“you want something. why else would you be kissing ass?”

“can i not be an amazing friend?”

“i’ll let it slide this once.” you two go back to watching the game and right before the first period ends, beauvillier scores a goal and you stand up and cheer. the buzzer then goes off, signaling the end of the first.

“you cheer this loud at home?” jesse asks and you nod

“a lot louder, actually.”

“i find it hard to believe that you can cheer louder than you just did.” you roll your eyes and jesse gets up

“i’m going to grab a drink. you want anything?” you shake your head and he nods as you keep yourself occupied with your phone. you feel a light tap to your shoulder and you turn around to see a little girl no older than 9 standing there shyly.

“hi, what can i do for you?” you smile at her and she looks up at the older man standing beside her that you didn’t even notice.

“she watches the show and loves detective thompson.” your heart warm at the words and you look at her.

“do you want a picture?” she nods and you turn in your seat and she comes and stands beside you.

“what’s your name?”

“amelia.” now it makes sense why she likes you so much. your character has the same name as her.

“like detective thompson,” you say and she nods.

“okay amelia, let’s smile.” the two of you smile up at the camera and her father takes a picture.

“what do you say, sweetie?”

“thank you,” she says and you nod. they then walk away and jesse’s back beside you.

“met your first fan of the night?”

“a nine year old girl named amelia.” he chuckles

“how ironic.” you nod. the two of you continue to converse and before you know it, the second period starts. the blackhawks managed to score, tying the game. the rest of the second goes by and nobody else scores. it’s down to the third period and pettersson scores for the canucks, giving them a 2-1 lead. but then someone else on the blackhawks score and the game’s tied yet again.

looks like they’re going into OT because the buzzer goes off. end of regulation.

you see that quinn is on the ice and the puck is being passed to him. now you’re on the edge of your seat. he moves it down the ice and he goes to shoot and you feel yourself holding your breath.

he makes it in.

you stand up and erupt into cheers just as he skates over and makes eye contact with you. he points at you and you point back at yourself, brows raised. he nods and tosses his stick over the glass and you catch it, looking at jesse with a shocked face.

“you look like a kid on christmas.” you nod

“i feel like one.” he laughs and you look at the stick in disbelief. jesse then stands with you and the two of you look for some kind of guard and when you find one, jesse flashes the pass he has and they let you by. you bet you look like gandalf walking around with a hockey stick.

the players start to trickle out of the locker room slowly and soon you lock eyes with quinn. his brows furrow slightly and he walks over.

“thanks for the stick, by the way.” you say and he smiles, nodding.

“you were the first person sporting a canucks jersey—mine at that—that i saw and the adrenaline rush took over, i guess.” you let out a quiet laugh

“i’m sorry, where are my manners? i’m y/n l/n and this is my costar jesse soffer.”

“costar?” he questions and you nod

“we’re from chicago pd.”

“that cop show,” it’s like pieces connect and you nod.

“my mom’s a big fan. you mind if i take a picture with you two?” your jaw slightly drops and jesse nudges you, making you break out of your trance and you nod. quinn laughs and hands his phone to elias who happens to be walking by.

“can you take a picture?” he nods and jesse stands at one side of quinn as you stand on the other. he snaps a couple photos before handing quinn his phone back and saying his goodbyes.

“i was wondering if i could get a picture too?” quinn nods

“absolutely.” you hand your phone to jesse and quinn throws his arm around your shoulders. you’re now realizing how he has some inches on you. you scoot closer to him and jesse snaps some photos before he nods and hands you back your phone.

“well, the two of us have to get going, but it was nice to meet you, quinn. thanks again for the stick.” he nods and the three of you say goodbye to one another. before you even get to round the corner to head to the exit, quinn calls your name. you turn around and walk over to him.

“yeah?”

“i was wondering if i could get your number?” he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck and you feel your heart do cartwheels. you nod and put your number in his phone and he smiles, before saying goodbye for real this time. you join jesse again and now you two head towards the exit.

“what was that about?” he asks as you’re leaving through the doors.

“i may or may not have just gotten his number.” jesse stops in his tracks and looks at you.

“for real?” you nod excitedly

“i told you you’d get your man.” you roll your eyes and set the hockey stick in the back of jesse’s car, sliding back into the passenger seat. he takes you back to your place and you tell him goodnight.

you were settled in bed when your phone pinged, lighting up your pitch-black room.

1 notification

hey, it’s quinn. mom said she can die happily now that you know she exists

you laugh at the message and shoot a text back before you turn your phone on silent, heading to sleep. when you wake up in the morning, you see another text from quinn.

good morning :) our plane boards at 12, so i was wondering if you wanted to catch some coffee before i left?

you smiled at his sweet text and told him to meet you at the cafe you and the cast went to sometimes.

when you get there, quinn’s sitting down in the back with a cup in front of him. you order your drink then make your way over to him, taking a seat in front of him.

“there you are,” he smiles.

“wouldn’t be anywhere else.” the two of you continue to talk about anything and everything and he’s such a sweet guy. you still don’t know why in the world he asked for your number, but you’re glad he did.

he checked the time on his phone and got up.

“i have to leave now, i’m sorry. but i’ll text you, okay?” you nod and he gives you a hug bye. his cologne was comforting and you just wanted to stay there forever. you order another coffee and make your way to set.

“woah, you look like a sad puppy. what happened to you?” patrick asks as you take a seat beside him.

“something tells me a certain someone had to leave.” you shoot jesse a look and he holds up his hands.

“i’m sorry, who?” patrick asks

“you know that hockey player y/n likes a lot?” patrick nods

“quinn hughes, right?” jesse nods and gives patrick a look before he prices things together.

“you’re seeing him?” he gasps out and you shrug

“i mean, we’ve been texting and we got coffee this morning before his plane boarded.” as if on cue, your phone dinged and you looked down to see quinn sent you a picture of an advertisement for chicago pd at the airport.

thinking of you

you can’t help but smile at the text and patrick rips your phone out your hand, gasping. he then hands it to jesse and jesse looks at you, smirking.

“are we playing hot potato? no. give me my phone.” you take it back from them “you two are like children.”

“but you love us,” patrick says and you give him a side-eye.

months pass and quinn and you texted everyday. somewhere around the second month of talking, he asked you to be his girlfriend. to say the least, you were over the moon. you haven’t seen him since he left chicago that one day. so to say you missed him would be an understatement. 

“cut! okay everyone, take a break.” you walked off set and made your way to where the snack table was. you’d been eyeballing the plate of strawberries. you grabbed yourself a bowl and loaded it with them, your stomach growling loudly. 

you then felt a tap on your shoulder and you turned around to see quinn standing there. your jaw drops and you set your strawberries down, engulfing him in a hug. he smiles and wraps his arms around you, resting his head on your shoulder. 

“hey gorgeous.” you pull back from him and cup his face in your hands, scanning him over. 

“how’d you even-”

“jesse helped me.” you're still in shock that he’s in front of you right now. he chuckles and leans forward, pressing a kiss to your nose. 

“i’ve missed you,” he whispers and this makes you smile. 

“you have no idea how much i’ve missed you.” you completely forgot that there were other people around you… like your costars who, other than patrick and jesse, had no idea you were seeing someone. 

“y/n, who’s your boyfriend?” 

“guys, this is quinn. quinn, these are my pains in the ass costars.” he gives them all a wave and they all say their hellos. 

“how long have you two been together?” 

“six months” they all gasp  

“and here i was, thinking you’re like, celibate or some shit.” you all laugh and quinn laughs as well. marina then gasps

“you’re the hockey player y/n wouldn't shut up about!” oh no. quinn looks at you, an amused look on his face as you bury your head in his chest. 

“quinn… quinn hughes!” 

“that’s me.” everyone pieces everything together. “you said she wouldn’t shut up about me?” quinn questions, laughing, and you start to drag him to your traile, grabbing your strawberries as well. 

“it was nice meeting you guys,” he waves at them. quinn takes a seat in the chair you had, pulling you to sit in his lap. you rest your head on his shoulder. 

“i still can’t believe you’re here.” 

“well you better believe it because i’m yours for the rest of the week.”

“but hockey?”

“it’s my bye-week. mom said as long as we facetime her once a day so she can talk to you, she won’t be mad at me for not coming to michigan to spend the week with her and dad.” you laugh and pop a strawberry in your mouth. 

“you want one?” you ask him, mouth full. he nods grabs one, putting it in his mouth, humming in satisfaction at the taste. 

“what did they put in those strawberries? they taste better than usual.” 

“they’re always this good. i don’t know what they do to them. but they better keep it coming.” 

when in chicago, you may just meet the one. or your favorite hockey player. 

tags: @goldenbrokenheart @woodruff-edwards @marsthehockeywhore @samosmackie @hughesx3 @jayda12 @theywantedplayer @austinbutlerscaresme @jackhues @jackhughesily @babydollmarauders @equallyshaw @astars-things @akengii

a/n: this was so long, i got carried away. anyways, tumblr messed up so half of this is pasted from google docs so if something pasted twice or the formatting is messed up, i apologize.

[https-harlow]

Fight The Feeling- 1 You Don't Have To Agree

Summary- You and Jack's managers both decide you need to get into a relationship to help your careers. Thinking that you will like each other and not knowing that you had dated in the past, they pair you two up together. You find out some news that might ruin the whole plan.

Word count 3.2k

A/N- this was originally an original character fic, but I changed it and edited it in like 20 minutes, so if there’s any mistakes that’s why.

“Look, you don’t have to agree to it, but just consider it, you being in a relationship will help your career, I promise.” Claire told you, you crossed your arms over your chest as you sighed.

“But who am I going to date? It’s not like I have guys lining up to date me, plus I’m not really interested in being in a relationship right now.” You told Claire. 

“Please, you’re one of the biggest models right now, any guy would be lucky to date you. Plus even if you weren’t, you’re still you, any guy would jump at the opportunity to date you. I’m not even saying that as your manager, I’m saying that as your friend. Plus, it doesn’t have to be a real relationship, celebrities’ fake relationships for publicity all the time.”

You thought about it for a few minutes, you hadn’t entertained the thought of another relationship since you broke up with Jack 2 months ago. You and Jack kept your relationship extremely private, only your closest friends and family knew about the two of you. Not even your management teams knew about you two being a couple, you didn’t want to risk your relationship with Jack being used for publicity. 

You and Jack dated for a little over a year before you broke up. You both loved each other but keeping your relationship private along with both of your careers completely taking off was difficult and led you both to feel like you were being unsupportive of each other and deciding it was best to break up so you could focus on your careers and yourselves.

“Ok, fine.” You agreed, the idea of faking a relationship sounded sort of fun, the perks of being in a relationship without the feelings involved.

“I have the perfect guy in mind, I think the two of you will have amazing chemistry together. The hardest part will be not falling in love with him for real.” Claire teased, causing you to roll your eyes.

“I told you, I’m still getting over a breakup, I’m not interested in a relationship. I won’t be falling for anyone. Who do you have in mind?” You asked.

“You still haven’t told me who you were dating, I want to know.” 

“I’ll tell you one day, I promise. Not right now.” You promised Claire who nodded.

“Well, then I’m keeping who I have in mind a secret, you’ll like him I promise.”

Little did you know, Jack was having almost the same exact conversation with his management team. 

“I don’t get it, you’re always saying how me being single is better for my career. Why is that changing now?” Jack asked Neelam who sighed.

“Well, in a way, it is better for you to remain single, but as tour slows down it will help by keeping your name in the media and being talked about. It will also help people start to take you more seriously. It will also help your image so you won’t be seen as some rapper who sleeps around with whoever, whenever he wants to. It’s difficult to explain but I promise it makes sense, just think about it.” She explained, making Jack think for a moment as he sat back in his chair.

“Ok, fine, whatever, I’ll do it. Who is the girl going to be?” Jack asked.

“I’m still figuring it out, I have a couple girls in mind, but the less information that’s talked about, even between us, the better. I just don’t want someone to overhear us when they walk by. Anyone who knows, will have to sign a very strict non-disclosure agreement. Even then, we have to be careful who we tell. Non-disclosure agreements don’t stop anyone from talking, it just lets us take action if they do.” Neelam said and Jack nodded.

It was only a few days later when your separate teams had planned on the two meeting. You had gotten some news earlier in the day that might throw off the whole plan.

“I need to tell you something.” You told Claire as Claire led you down the hallway to where you were going to meet your “boyfriend”.

“Can it wait? We were supposed to be in this meeting 10 minutes ago, but you were running late.” Claire said, continuing to walk down the hallway.

“Not really, it’s important. Like, really important, might ruin this whole thing level important.” You emphasized and Claire sighed.

“You can tell me after, we already signed all the agreements, everything will be fine, nothing will ruin this.” 

“It won’t take long, just a minute or two. I’m serious, it’s fucking important.” You promised.

“After.” Claire insisted and you rolled your eyes, knowing you weren’t going to win this one.

Less than a minute later and you approached the door. Claire stopping in front of it before either of you could enter, turning to you. 

“Okay, I know you want to talk about whatever it is your freaking out about, but I’m sure it’s going to be okay, and we’ll deal with it after this. Just focus on this for right now and calm yourself down.”

“Maybe I’d fucking calm down if you let me tell you why I’m freaking out and why I was late.” You argued, and Claire glared at you.

“I don’t care why you were late, you can’t change it now. Let’s go, they’ve already been waiting for 15 minutes.” Claire said, giving you a couple seconds to try and calm down before she opened the door, and took a couple steps inside the room. 

“Y/N, this is Jack Harlow, sorry we’re late.”  Claire apologized to his team. As soon as you took a step into the room, you made eye contact with Jack who didn’t know what to do or say either. You instantly felt nauseous, well, more nauseous than you did before. You weren't sure if it was caused by seeing your ex-boyfriend for the first time in 2 months after actively avoiding him or your morning sickness that had started in the last 2 weeks, but your best guess would be a combination of both. 

“I-I’m sorry I’ll be right back.” You said before turning around to walk out of the room and find the nearest bathroom. Out of instinct Jack wanted to follow you to make sure you were okay, but he stopped himself.

“I’m sorry, I promise she usually isn’t late, and now this.” Claire instantly apologized to Jack and his manager. Jack interrupted before he could talk.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize. Is she okay?” Jack asked and Claire nodded.

“Yeah, she just hasn’t been feeling well recently, I’ll be right back, I’m going to go check on her.” Claire said before standing up and walking out of the room to find where you went. 

“So, funny story actually.” Jack turned to Neelam hesitantly.

“What now Jack?” She asked.

“You remember how I told you about that girl I dated but I didn’t tell you about her until we broke up and you kept asking why I was upset?” Jack asked, and Neelam nodded.

“Yeah, what does that have to do with anything?” She asked, and Jack made a motion with his hands to tell her to think about it more. It took her a minute, but she finally put the pieces together. “Was that girl Y/N?” She asked for clarification, and Jack nodded.

“Yeah, it was. We dated for a little over a year.” Jack sighed, running his hands through his hair.

“You didn’t think that might be something you should have mentioned to me before you agreed to this?” She scolded.

“Oh yeah, because I thought the one person I had a relationship with was going to be the one person you would pair me up with. Do I really have to go through with this?” Jack asked.

“You both already signed the paperwork, so yes. Was it a mutual break up at least?” Jack shrugged.

“Kind of? Not really. I don’t know. It’s a complicated situation.” Jack explained.

It only took Claire a few minutes to check one of the bathrooms, finding one of the stall doors closed, assuming it was you.

“It’s me, are you okay?” Claire asked through the door. 

“Not really but I guess so.” You sighed, walking out of the stall and over to the counter, placing your hands down and leaning onto it. Looking at yourself in the mirror for a moment.

“I can’t do this. Not with him.” You told Claire, looking at her through the mirror.

“Why not? I thought you guys would get along?” Claire asked and you laughed sarcastically.

“Yeah, we did. Except now he’s my ex-boyfriend. I fucking loved him.” You confessed.

“Wait, you dated Jack? He was the one you were dating?” Claire asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, he was, and to make things worse, I’m pregnant. With his child.” 

“You’re pregnant? When were you going to tell me?” Claire asked causing you to roll your eyes.

“Yes, I’m pregnant. I just found out this morning. That’s why I was late, and I wanted to before this meeting, that’s what I wanted to tell you, but you thought it could wait.” You said. “I seriously can’t do this. Is it too late to back out?”

“Yes, all the paperwork has been signed and filed. Appearances have already been scheduled, it would be too suspicious to back out now. The only people who know this is fake is the people in that room.” Claire told you. You sighed, running your hands through you hair before putting them down on the counter again.

“I’m never letting you surprise me again.” You told her. Claire opened her mouth to defend herself before stopping herself.

“You know, I was going to defend myself, but I think If I was in your situation, I’d say the same thing.” Claire agreed. “Does Jack know?” She asked, and you shook your head.

“Not yet, you’re the first person I told, I’ll tell him, just don’t say anything okay?” Claire nodded.

“I won’t. Let’s go back in.” You sighed but nodded, following Claire back into the meeting room. 

This time you made sure not to look at Jack this time, sitting down across from Jack and next to Claire. As Claire and Neelam talked about the arrangement, you couldn’t help but look at Jack occasionally. Jack on the other hand, couldn’t keep his eyes off you. You hadn’t seen each other for 2 months since the night you broke up. 

“Are you okay?” Jack mouthed to you one of the times you looked at him. You nodded quickly before looking down at your hands for a moment. 

“Okay, so we have the articles ready to go once they get the okay right?” Neelam asked Claire who nodded.

“Yeah, they are just waiting for the okay from their sources, us, and they will post them. I can give them the okay tomorrow morning.” Claire told her. “Then we have the paparazzi photos, a couple days later, we can tip them off on a location once we have a specific time.”

“And then after that we’ll get them on one couple’s interview, probably the couples quiz? After they confirm their relationship status.” Neelam said and Claire nodded.

“Then after that, we quiet things down, maybe an appearance or two, a social media post maybe. We don’t want to overexpose them as a couple to quickly.” Claire said and Neelam nodded in agreement. 

Neither you or Jack were paying attention to the conversation, Jack to focused on you and you were focused on your thoughts. How was Jack going to take the news you were pregnant? Why was Jack suddenly faking a relationship when 2 months ago he was telling you he couldn’t go public with you. You had so many questions. Some that you knew the answer to but just didn’t want to admit. Claire and Neelam continued to plan out some events for the couple before eventually deciding they had done enough, plus Jack had to leave so he wasn’t late for his next meeting.

“Does that sound good to you two?” Claire asked you and Jack, who turned their heads to her, Jack nodding in agreement even though he had no idea what he was agreeing too.

“Yeah.” You agreed as well, not wanting to admit you weren’t paying attention. 

“Ok, good, I’ll get the articles out tomorrow morning, and then you two have 2 days to figure out what’s going on between you two. I know it isn’t an ideal situation, but I don’t care how much you interact, or how unless we are in public okay?” Neelam said.

“Okay.” Jack agreed.

“Jack?” You fully acknowledged Jack for the first time other then your nod earlier and some glances here and there.

“Yeah?” Jack turned to you.

“Can we talk?” You asked Jack, playing with one of the rings on your finger.

“Can we talk later?” Jack asked and you nodded slightly.

“Yeah, I guess that’s fine.” In a way, you preferred that, it gave you time to think about what you wanted to say and how you wanted to tell Jack you were pregnant, but you also wanted to get it over with.

“Unblock my number and I’ll text you later, I only have one more meeting and then I’m done for the day.” Jack told you and you rolled your eyes at his first comment.

“I will.” You said as Neelam interrupted the two. 

“We have to leave Jack.” She told him and Jack nodded, following Neelam out of the room. Claire put her attention back on you, waiting a minute after the door closed before speaking.

“Are you going to tell him tonight?” Claire asked, you didn’t look up from your hands.

“I guess so. Might as well just get it over with.” 

“How do you think he’ll react?” You sighed, pulling your legs up on the chair. 

“I don’t know. I mean, I know it’s not the best situation, but he’s also half responsible.” You shrugged, leaning back on your chair.

“Why did you break up?” Claire asked.

“I think we tried to keep things to private. It was fun at first, having that level of privacy and sneaking around, but then we had to plan everything out too much and we couldn’t do things that normal couples could do. Neither of us felt like we could support each other, I couldn’t go to his shows, or visit him on tour. He couldn’t come to fashion week like he wanted to or anything like that. I was willing to try going public with our relationship, but he didn’t want to, so we broke up and decided to just focus on ourselves.”’ You explained and Claire nodded.

“How did you guys meet?”

“Some random industry party. We just connected for some reason, and we were staying at the same hotel, and ended up running into each other in the elevator on the way back. I ended up going to his room and we stayed up all night talking.” You said, playing with your ring still.

“Do you want to use that as the story to how you met? Instead of making something up.” Claire asked and you shrugged.

“Might as well, makes it easier to remember.” You agreed.

A couple hours later you had made your way home, at some point during the day you had unblocked Jack’s number. Every time you heard your phone go off, you checked it instantly, part of you wanting it to be Jack, and another part of you hoping it wasn’t. 

Finally, a call from Jack came through, you waited a couple rings to answer it, not wanting to seem like you were eager for his call.

“Hello?” You answered.

“Hey, sorry it took so long to call, I just got done with my meetings. Do you want me to come over to your place or we could meet somewhere if you want.” Jack suggested.

“You can come over.” You told Jack. “We should talk in private anyways.” Jack nodded even though you couldn’t see him.

“Okay, I’m 5 minutes away.” Jack said and they said goodbye before hanging up. The whole time you were waiting on Jack you couldn’t sit still. Even though your apartment was already spotless, you couldn’t help but clean up more just for something to do. As soon as you heard a knock on the door, you sighed, you couldn’t get out of this now. You walked to the door and opened it up.

“Hi.” You smiled softly. “You can come in.” You said, opening the door further for Jack who walked inside.

“Hi.” Jack smiled softly at you. “I just want to make it very clear, I had no idea that Neelam and Claire were going to put us together.” Jack said.

“I believe you Jack because I had no idea either. I don’t think this is a situation that either of us want to be in.” You said, walking into her living room as Jack awkwardly followed behind you.

“I mean, I feel like there is worse people we could be paired with, but you’re right.” Jack agreed as you sat down on the couch, Jack sitting on the other side as you turned to each other. “What did you want to talk about?” Jack asked and you sighed.

“Well, I feel like there’s a lot we have to talk about in general. I know this is just going to complicate the situation even more, but it’s something that you need to know, it’s something you need to know even if we weren’t in the situation we’re in now.” You rambled before Jack interrupted you.

“Your rambling, just tell me what it is.” Jack said, knowing that when you were nervous, you would talk forever before getting out what you wanted to say.

“Sorry.” You said quietly, looking down and playing with your ring just like you had done earlier in the day.

“It’s okay, don’t apologize.” Jack said.

“I don’t know how else to say this, but I’m pregnant.” You told Jack, not looking up at him.

“You’re pregnant?” Jack asked, wanting to confirm he heard you correctly. You nodded.

“Yeah, I found out this morning. I know it’s not ideal, but none of this is.” You sighed as Jack ran his hands through his hair.

Jack didn’t feel like he was ready for a baby. You weren’t together, it wasn’t how he pictured starting a family. Jack still cared for you, and there was even a part of Jack that still loved you, but he no longer felt that he was in love with you. You had a strained relationship, how were you supposed to raise a baby together when you were both as busy as you had ever been, the whole reason you broke up was to focus on your careers, and because Jack had cheated, but Jack didn’t know that you knew that. 

“Is it.” Jack hesitated, knowing that you weren’t going to take the next thing he said well, and he couldn’t really blame you, he just didn’t know how else to ask it. “Is the baby mine?” Jack asked. 

[k0k1ch1111]

we know what time it is by now!

impermanent attachment quote log!

I hope everyone knows these are just things I copied for whatever reason, either funny moving sad idk

“I… might be?” Shuichi shrugged helplessly, letting his shoulders slump in defeat.

“It doesn’t make sense, though. Time loops cannot exist in real life.”

“That’s what every protagonist of a time loop says at first,” Tsumugi informed him sympathetically.

Everything was okay, and his spirits weren’t entirely crushed; only mostly.

“I… might be?” Shuichi shrugged helplessly, letting his shoulders slump in defeat. “It doesn’t make sense, though. Time loops cannot exist in real life.”“That’s what every protagonist of a time loop says at first,” Tsumugi informed him sympathetically.

Everything was okay, and his spirits weren’t entirely crushed; only mostly.

Kaito’s voice drew Shuichi back into reality, and he remembered that oh yeah, this conversation was important.

Kokichi, somebody who had intrigued him for the entire killing game, wasn’t the evil, despicable person he tried to make himself out to be

“Do you want to die?” Shuichi snapped at the boy behind him, lowering his voice to not be heard by his friends. “Knock it off, Kokichi.”

“Shuichi,” Kokichi said sweetly, slowly turning to face him. There was a pleasant smile on his face, but his words were anything but. “I am really, really mad at you right now.”You know what? Screw maintaining his composure.

“Kill me?” Kokichi echoed. “My dear Shuichi… was planning to kill me? Why is the entire Kaito Fanclub after me– what are you doing?”

Shuichi woke up feeling less rested than before.Also, he immediately threw up.

Ch4 oh when I get you ch4. /t

Kokichi was torn between figuring that oh, so he’s totally lost it and wondering what on earth happened to his favorite person in this academy.

“I’d like to see you get shot in the fucking arm!” Kaito barked at him, providing the exact opposite argument Kokichi was trying to make.

“Hey! You got shot and I got shot by your dogs. We’re matching now!” Kokichi exclaimed simply to be obnoxious. He had to cope in some way.

“But I can’t reach the one on my back,” Kokichi whined. “Unless you want me to break my arms trying to reach it?”“I’ll remove it if it’ll shut you up,” Maki offered upon her return.“You’d probably stab me in the throat or something,” Kokichi scoffed haughtily, briefly allowing his resentment towards her to shine through.

Not sure what that “time loop” business is about, though. Is Shuichi mentally ill?

“I’m building bonds by being loveable, Kaito,” Kokichi whispered back. “I’m reverse Stockholming him, so give me a bit, will ya?”

Kaito looked genuinely baffled. “He didn’t kidnap you! And I don’t think Stockholm Syndrome works like that.”“Well what do you want me to call it? Seduction?” he challenged simply to see the look on Kaito’s face. As a fun bonus, Maki’s, too. And the way Shuichi was staring at him was pretty funny, too.

“I thought it was weird when you said that,” Maki agreed simply. “But I didn’t bring it up because I thought you were delusional.”Okay, a little blunt there, but Maki wasn’t one to beat around the bush. Shuichi seemed to think this too, because although he looked wounded by her remark, he didn’t totally break down over it.

Letting him just talk about it was the best solution Kokichi could think of. Keeping everything bottled up inside wasn’t healthy (and he did not want to hear a WORD about his own habits, thank you), especially not for someone as, in the nicest way possible, sensitive as Shuichi.

But over and over again… because Maki poisoned her… her stupid arrows… Strike-9 fucking hurts, okay? It feels like your entire body hates you.

That was going to be so embarrassing to share– Kokichi Ouma! Held at gunpoint! Ugh. There might not be much damage control he could do for this one.

Kokichi automatically cringed. “She is not my beloved Junko. I would never call any woman my beloved. Also, sorry, the name doesn’t really ring a bell.”

And no, the small, reassured smile Shuichi gave him in response to this small gesture did not make his heart flutter like a stupid moth. Not the time, MOTH.

“You’re quick to trust me,” Kokichi teased.“I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you,” Kaito corrected him, looking alarmed by the mere notion. “You’re still an annoying piece of shit, and you’re still responsible for Miu and Gonta. But I don’t want to fight you if it means somebody’s gonna die.”“I’ll try to refrain from strangling you,” Maki added graciously. “At least, not until I know if you’re really the mastermind or not.”

“Well, now I just plainly feel bad…”“You would feel bad, huh?”“Wh-What does that mean?”“Ignore him. Kokichi’s just being an asshole because he knows no one is going to punch him.”

Kaito was surprised because, you know, Exisal. Kokichi was surprised because he couldn’t figure out where the fuck that thing had come from.

Kokichi was very prideful, but that wouldn’t stop him from admitting that dealing with the certified “training trio” or whatever they had going on in their stupid three-way make-out dynamic.

“Just do it!” Kaito unexpectedly shouted at him from the open doorway. “I don’t care if you’re the mastermind or not, you can’t let Shuichi kill himself. Block the damn door!”

There was no way this thing wasn’t drugged. The worst part was that he couldn’t tell if Shuichi was trying to be sneaky about it or not.

Yes, what a wonderful idea it was to antagonize the mentally unstable guy waving around a loaded firearm. What a stroke of genius on Kokichi’s part.

Oh… is that what we’re doing?” Kokichi chuckled, hoping his laughter hid how truly nervous he felt, gazing at the handcuffs. “Am I being arrested? Aww… I was hoping you’d at least take me to dinner, first…”

Third?” Kokichi gasped melodramatically. “I’m not even first? Wow, Shuichi… I thought what we had was special…”

Kokichi tried not to cringe as it carelessly clattered on the ground. She could at least try to respect one of Miu’s inventions, even if the girl herself had done little to deserve it.

He wanted Tsumugi in the ground.

Hell, he had two Electrobombs hidden in his scarf as well. Maybe he should get a sparkly purse or something– he can make it checker themed.

Fuck, fuck, fuck–

Despite how dizzy he felt, he slapped away K1-B0’s hand– or at least tried to. His aim was a tiny bit sloppy. It had its intended effect though, because K1-B0 released him.“Kokichi, are you okay?” Tsumugi asked him anxiously. “You look plainly concussed…”

“What Kokichi are you talking about?” Kokichi demanded with a glare at the robot. “What gave you the impression I cared at all?”“You…” K1-B0 helplessly trailed off, seeming to realize there was no point in arguing. “You are very confusing to me.”

“Work together with the mastermind?” Kokichi couldn’t help but scoff. “Were you dropped on your head as a baby?”

He was laying his soul bare in this thing, which meant that should anyone see this, they would know him better than he knew himself.

Yes!” he blurted out eagerly. He didn’t mean to interrupt them, but… Kokichi. “Yes, I’ll help!”

And wouldn’t you know it, Kokichi punched him in the face.

Usually that would have put off Shuichi– eyes were something he still struggled with, and people like Kokichi and Maki’s eyes– so secretive and cold– were hard to look at sometimes.

But even if his body was weak, Kaito sure wasn’t going to let that stop him. Oh no. That was like trying to stop an airplane going with your bare hands.

“Cats, Shuichi, same thing,” Kokichi waved him off. “He’s obviously three cats in a trench coat! That’s why he’s wearing that thing!”

“What? Are you enamored, Kaito? Have you fallen head over heels for me?” Kokichi immediately started teasing him. “Sooorry, my heart belongs to someone else.”

“Ew…” Kokichi cringed. “Everybody say thank you Shuichi for taking one for the team and not putting us through that! ♪”

“I remember biting someone,” Kokichi offered gleefully.“Of course you do,” Maki muttered disbelievingly.

“I’ll forgive you ‘cause the mental image of you with a gun is hilarious,” Kokichi cut in, his hands placed idly behind his head.

She was still glaring at Kokichi as if he dropped babies on their heads for fun, but it seemed like her dislike for him was outweighed by Kaito’s cheerful and powerful charm.

To be hugged by Kaede– oh, she was so warm.

“Hey, good on you, man!” Kaito praised him. “And if you try any more messed up things like that, we’ll whack you back into reality.”

“Fuck you mean, not holding any grudges!? Hell yeah I’m holding a grudge!” Miu barked, swiveling her glare towards Kokichi and Gonta. “What the hell was that supposed to be you shota cunt!?”

“You’re lucky my legs don’t work,” Miu seethed. “I’d come over there and shove my fist so far down your throat you’d be coughing up keratin for the rest of your life!”“Your fist probably tastes like cum and oil, because being a filthy whore and making things is all you seem to be good for,” Kokichi shot back defensively.

Shuichi stormed into the hangar, and guess what? He held us all at gunpoint!”Nearby, Kiyo choked on his drink.

“You know what? I’ll just ask him myself,” Kaede decided. “Honestly, Kokichi. You make everything so confusing all the time.”Kokichi only offered her a grin. “I know.”

“I’m expressing my artistic side in this notebook Ms. Mister Therapist gave me,” Kokichi told him cheerfully. “I’m what they call a flight risk in the industry.”

“Well, everything that comes out of your mouth tends to be pretty angering,” Rantaro pointed out coolly. “You’re pretty fond of provoking people, and with this kind of news, we need the opposite of that.”

“...noooo but also oh yeahhh whoopee. Joy. Right, Shuichi? Shu? Shui?” That boy sighed. “Man, you make a cool nickname for me or whatever but I can’t think of anything. What would I have said? Maybe… Shu? Shuchuu train? How’s that?”

how about I start fusing our names? How does Shukichi sound? Saiouma? Wait, that’d probably go to our child, nevermind…”

“Kaede’s going to freak, by the way,” Kokichi informed him, as if what just happened was totally normal and casual. “And Kaito owes her twenty bucks now. Hey, can we make out in front of him?”

“The first thing I did when you woke up was confess my love to you. I just kissed you and you’re asking me that? Do I need to propose to you, too? Yes, we can be boyfriends, Shuichi. You don’t even have to fight my seven evil exes!”

tipped you over the edge but everything else adds up. Dealing with that can't be easy, especially if no one remembers and especially if k*ito keeps saying dumb shit all the time. My degree in psychology and 42 years on the field tells me that this is baaad bad. (The censor made le laugh way toi hard)

And everyone who wasn't alive for the crap i pulled still doesn't like me anyway either because i'm an asshole or because everyone elses behavior is putting them off.

maki and kaito are really worried, so you should talk to them. also kokichi i guess. kaede says he's in love with you. if love is what stops you from killing yourself then you guys should smooch. that’s just what i think though.

miu- don't kill yourself again dipshit

Also please tell me if Kaede is right or not. I don't have 20 bucks to give her if she is, and you can do way better than Kokichi. Please anyone but Kokichi.

“HEY! You can’t kiss my sidekicks!”“What?” Maki demanded.“No, but I can kiss my boyfriendddd,” Kokichi sang triumphantly.“BOYFRIEND!?”

[larissa-the-scribe]

Hello, since I am evil and subjected you to this ask game, I will also subject you to asks mwahahaha :))))

May I request: I'm Not Here to Make Friends >:(

*Gasps, faints* How... how dare

Anyways thanks for the ask! (from this ask game)

Info:

This is from Rifters (series 1), where Kathryn is living in a steampunk/superhero world, becoming a part of the younger-hero-training-school-place. Her stint as a superhero has made her some enemies, and her friends from that world also have enemies. One of them is trying to tear down the superhero structure from the inside out, and so, as a first step, has sent his best asset minion adopted son and secret weapon to infiltrate the hero guild place (I really need to define things) as a spy. Part of his mission is also to locate a specific hero who has no traceable identity but has been a thorn in super villain's sides ever since, uh, *checks notes* the out-of-world newcomer came in and stopped the apocalypse.

Benn (currently Eabennor) is an angsty loner teenager who is just here to DO HIS JOB and he doesn't care about anyone ever-- Especially not that Nuisance (Kathryn) who keeps following him around and trying to talk to him--he's Spying and they are his Enemies (aka this is his feral kitten era).

Snippet:

“Anything else you want to say before I slam the door in your face?” He asked—hoping his bitingly sarcastic tone and smile left her little doubt that he meant it. “What about dinner?” she asked. Eabennor stared at her, halfway between exasperated and confused. “I have no idea why you’d think I’d be interested.” Kathryn blinked. “…In eating?” “What?” “Since you just got here you have to sign up for dinner,” Kathryn explained, tilting her head. “Though I suppose you’re probably not keen on interacting with people, or not today at least.” “Oh.” “But you should still eat,” she continued, “even if you’re not interested. The food is very good here.” “Yeah, probably.” Eabennor bit back any other comments that might embarrass him further—though thankfully she seemed dumb enough to not have noticed. “Supper time is usually at 6:30,” she said, tapping her chin thoughtfully, “I’ll talk to someone in the kitchen about setting aside a plate. If you go down at 7:30-ish, it should be pretty clear, at least besides the kitchen crew cleaning up. How long that takes can vary, though, so I can’t give you a solid estimate on how long they’ll be there.” “Good to know,” he said flatly, considering the viability of carrying out his threat from earlier. This whole conversation—no, this whole day—had been a complete trainwreck, and he desperately wanted to be left alone.  “Exact details for the future can be figured out later, though,” she said, smiling brightly, as if looking forward to the conversation had given her a new meaning in life—obnoxiously cheery, he thought to himself—“Matthias is the first door coming into the hallway, and I’m in the hall across the way, so if you need anything don’t hesitate to ask.” “Is that all.” “One last thing,” she added, with what he could have sworn was a mischievous glint in her eye, “I hope you have a lovely rest of your day.” Maybe it was petty, but slamming the door did turn out to be quite cathartic.

[whumpywinterbun]

i need you closer. 1/2

A mission went wrong, Sam is hurt, Bucky is blaming himself and spiraling. Pretty badly. Good thing his neighbor (friend) cares about him.

Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader (something something somewhat around tfatws?)

Part 2

(emotional) hurt/comfort, a little whumpy, mutual pining (idiots in love)

Warnings: panic attacks, hallucinations, self harm (without the actual intent to self harm? Bucky scratches himself bloody while hallucinating), medication

a/n: This is a part one, i’ll post the second part tomorrow or the day after. It’s a little (very) whumpy again hah also english isn’t my native language so uh feel free to tell me if i messed something up.

Bucky had enough of this week. Frankly, every week for the past months but this week was a different kind of bad. He went on a mission with Sam for a bit, which always took a toll on him, but it went sideways, he messed up, they were given wrong intel, Sam got hurt and now he’s back home waiting for Sam to get better and new information on the mission. Bucky spend the past few days visiting Sam in hospital, seeing his therapist and sitting at home, wishing he would have been the one to get hit. In that exact order. Sleep? Something he hadn’t had in days. Bucky talked to his therapist about feeling like it’s been his fault that everything went to shit, but he only got half-assed comments about “not beating himself up” and “not being able to change it now.”

The only good thing was coming back to you. His neighbor. And friend. At least he liked to think of you as a friend. Bucky liked spending time with you, talking to you, going to your favorite cafés and bookshops with you.

You.

He liked you.

And that speaks volumes.

Bucky tried to stop caring about the people around him after Steve left. He always told himself that it would keep him from feeling left alone and lonely ever again. He could be on his own, right? People rarely treated him with kindness ever since he got his own mind back and left Wakanda. Bucky was a monster to some, a murderer to others, a criminal at least and sometimes, he admitted to himself, he wished he would have never gotten out of Hydra. But then came you. Beautiful, kind, cheerful you. And he thanked the entity watching over him, or destiny, or maybe just luck, that an idiot in your apartment complex had caused water damage and you were both looking for a way to escape the mess at three am on the building’s rooftop.

A long conversation, shared cigarettes and exchanged numbers later Bucky was cursing at himself for thinking someone would want to spend time with him.

Several small meet ups, phone calls and neighbor emergencies later, he cursed himself for trusting you enough to keep you in his life.

The worst thing about this week though, was Bucky knowing you were there. Just right next to him and listening to your favorite songs and walking around and watching TV and doing your daily routine that he has heard hundreds and hundreds of times with his enhanced hearing (he swears he's not a creep) , but he couldn’t talk to you. He just couldn’t. You would ask him about the mission, something you weren’t even supposed to know of, but he trusted you too damn much and what was he supposed to say? “Oh, I messed up and now my best friends in hospital, but it’s fine.”?

So, Bucky stayed by himself, ignoring your calls and knocks and hoping you too would soon realize what a massive fuck up he was. He figured that being close to him would get you hurt at some point, so Bucky stayed away for your sake.

What he didn’t know,

or at least didn’t think of,

was that you too could hear him sometimes.

You could hear him opening and closing his apartment door. Sometimes a neighbor would greet him, and you could hear his voice greeting them back. You knew he was there; it was hard not to, and you had long figured that something must be wrong. But you didn’t want to intrude.

Bucky had sometimes mentioned things about his past. Not too much, it made him uncomfortable and you could tell he didn’t want to scare you or something, but just enough to know why you heard him scream at night, why his eyes glazed up, why he tensed up and stared into the distance. So, you let him be, in fear of pushing him away from you. He would come around eventually, you hoped. And so, you kept listening to him opening and closing the door at the same time every day, as some sign of him being okay enough to still be keeping his schedule.

What you didn’t know,

was that Bucky was spiraling.

Pretty badly.

Three Hours. That’s how much sleep Bucky had before he was violently woken up by his dreams again, his throat raw. But he couldn’t escape. He could still smell the blood, the gore, he could still hear the scream. Sam’s scream. Bucky looked around himself and couldn’t recognize where he was, it was all too blurry and dark. He could barely breathe. But what he could see, and feel, was the blood on himself, on his left arm. The blood was stuck between its plates, dulling the black and gold.

Bucky stood up and ran into what looked like a bathroom. His bathroom. Was it his? He couldn’t focus on anything but Sam’s blood clinging onto him. Everything was so blurry. He fell over something, got blood all over the floor. Why was there so much blood? He got into the bathtub and turned the water on but somehow the blood just wasn’t washing off, while the water turned darker and darker. Bucky tried to rub the blood off himself, but nothing helped, nothing could rinse, clean him from the blood he had spilled. He kept rubbing, scratching, anything to get rid of it, but nothing had helped. He looked up, realizing he had painted the walls red. Bucky cried, he screamed. His throat hurt so much but he kept screaming.

And you heard him.

You had heard Bucky scream once already that night, knowing his past was haunting him yet again. But it was when you heard something fall that you put your ear to the wall between your apartments and heard water running for a while. He was probably okay, just trying get rid of the nightmare, you thought, taking a shower seemed like a reasonable thing to do in his position and so you moved away from the wall and were on the way back to your own bed until you heard the screams. His screams.

You rushed out of your apartment, taking the set of keys to Bucky's apartment he had once left for you in case of emergencies. You still knocked on his door, asking if he’s okay through it, just in case. He had stopped screaming at this point, but the water didn’t stop. You couldn’t shake the feeling that something just wasn’t okay, that he needed you. So, you opened the door carefully.

“Bucky, It’s me.”

You had looked around the corridor of his small apartment, slowly nearing the bathroom. You could hear Bucky crying. Quiet, exhausting sobbing. That’s when you entered the bathroom. And there he was. Small, oh god he looked so small and scared, in his bathtub, the water falling on him.

Bucky was still in his underwear, his skin red from the scalding water and his exhausted hands scratching his skin. There were deep scratches all over him, blood seeping through the torn skin. “Oh god…What happened?!” You had sunk down next to the tub, reaching over and turning the water off. “The b-blood. There is so much b-blood. And i-it’s not coming off. It’s everywhere. Go! Please go! You shouldn’t be s-seeing t-this.” You were confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Sam’s blood! It’s everywhere! See!” Bucky held his arms up but there was nothing apart from torn skin that was already slowly mending. You carefully moved your hand up to touch his arm. Bucky winced, his breathing getting shakier. “Hey, it’s okay, you are okay. Come on, breathe with me. In. And out. In. And out.” Bucky had once or twice mentioned that he hallucinated occasionally and you remembered him telling you about medication he had been prescribed to calm him down. Or at least enough to get him out of such intense phases. “I will be right back, is that okay?” Bucky swallowed, before slowly nodding. You smiled softly at him, rushing to the kitchen cabinet you knew he kept his medications in, before finding the pills he had told you about “in case he would totally freak out on you.” You took the right dosage and a glass of water with you back into the bathroom. “Here, take these.” “What's this?” Bucky’s voice was raw and quiet, you had never seen or heard him like this.

“They will help you; you told me to give them to you, remember?” You held your hand with the small, white pills out, trying to smile while you were slowly breaking apart yourself. Bucky reminded you more of a broken child than the strong, tall man you knew. He took the pills, putting them in his mouth before gulping down the glass of water. You sat there in silence with him, little, soft touches to his arm and carefully stroking his head while he slowly came down and started getting drowsy.

“I don’t deserve you…” his head was leaning against the bathtubs edge.

“Bullshit, I care about you.”

“Yeah…that’s the point y/n.”

He looked up, tears in his eyes. “You shouldn’t care about me. Everyone who ever cared about me died, left or gets hurt.” “I’m not planning on dying, leaving or getting hurt anytime soon, so you are stuck with me for a whil- “

“You will.”

You took his hand. “You know that that’s my decision, right? If I get hurt caring about you, that’s on me.”

“Sure…” “I mean it Bucky. I’m being with you right now because I choose to be here. Because I like you. You are my friend. My Bucket. Do you think I could just stop caring?”

“…Thank you.” Bucky rested his head against the tub again, closing his eyes.

“Come on let’s get you out of here, you will catch a cold.” “I can’t get sick y/n.” “Then I will, come on.” You got up, holding your arms towards Bucky to help him get out of the bathtub, before handing him a towel. “Should I get fresh underwear?” “So desperate to rummage through my underwear, doll?” He tried for a crooked little smile. “I will smack you.,” you deadpanned, trying to hide the growing smile on your face. “I don’t think I can stand for long enough without help…” Bucky’s voice dropped again. “I’ll help you walk to your bedroom. Come on.” You hooked your arm in his, leading him out of the bathroom to the bedroom Bucky admittedly rarely used and sat him down on his bed. “Where’s the underwear?” He pointed at a drawer. You threw the boxers at him and awkwardly pointed at the door. “I’ll uh… let you change.” And left the bedroom.

You walked back to Bucky's bathroom, cleaning up a little, putting back all the knocked down bottles and putting some kitchen towels on the wet floor before you could take a deep breath for the first time in what felt like hours.

You adored Bucky. So much. You wish you could somehow show him just how much, but you didn’t want to risk a friendship that meant so much to the both of you for feelings he probably didn’t reciprocate.

“Y/n?” You rushed back.

“You are not naked, are you?” You heard Bucky laugh.

“No.” You opened the door and he was already laying down under the covers, the exhaustion finally taking over.

“Do you need anything Buck? Water, I can make you some tea… I can… stay over on the couch if… you want…” your voice got quieter with every word, not sure if you were overstepping his boundaries.

“No. I mean. Yes. No, I don’t need anything but yes can you…stay over…please? And maybe stay here with me for a bit…” “Of course, Buck.” You went up to the other side of Bucky's bed, sitting down next to him. “Oh man it’s such a comfy bed, you are really wasting it Bucket.” You heard a small chuckle from the blanket burrito next to you. Bucky reached out with his right hand, taking your hand in his. You stayed like this until you were sure he fell asleep, before slowly moving your hand away and carefully getting up. “Please stay.”

“Okay Buck.” You laid down next to him, until his breathing evened out and you too, fell asleep.

[bucketsofmonsters]

To Kill the King - Chapter 3

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

find the full book here

“Leo can we please talk about what just happened because that was weird,” Everand pleaded with him.

“That’s Sir Leo to you, my boy.”

It didn’t feel like the most relevant thing at this exact moment, but Leo had never been great at priorities anyways. “Yes of course sir, sorry sir. I just mean, the princess deciding to save us, did that not strike you as odd? Why would she do that, what does she gain from it?”

Leo gave him a patronizing look as he said, “Now I know you’re quite young and… we’ll say inexperienced but trust me, there are many young women who…”

“No, not… sir she was staring at me the whole time.”

Leo threw back his head as he guffawed. “You always know how to make me laugh, Everand. That’s why I keep you around. Now go tend to the horses, I have to figure out where I fit in in this place.”

“But sir I don’t know where the…” Leo walked out of the room before Everand had the chance to finish his sentence. “Where the stables are, not that you care. I’ll find them myself, it’s fine.”

Everand took to wandering the castle, hoping to stumble upon the stables sooner rather than later. After what felt like an hour of aimless walking, Everand realized he was going to have to find someone to ask for help. Amidst his wandering he saw several busy people he couldn’t quite manage to grab the attention of before they blew past him. He was growing frustrated, determined to pull the attention of the next person he crossed paths with as he turned the corner and saw the same mage girl he’d seen earlier, minus the ridiculous hat. She didn’t seem to notice him, focusing instead on scribbling into a notebook she had pushed against the wall. He slowly walked backwards, not particularly wanting to interact with the girl who had been giving him a death stare earlier. As soon as he quietly left her possible line of sight, he spun around to retrace his steps as far away from her as possible. He rushed off, checking behind him, making sure she wasn’t heading this way and, as he looked behind him, he ran directly into something he was certain hadn’t been there before.

A dark-haired girl stood in front of him holding a big basket full of white cloths. She looked a little dazed but luckily didn’t seem too shaken up by Everand walking directly into her.

 “I’m so sorry,” he said. “I wasn’t looking where I was going. You alright?”

She waved his concern aside as best she could with a basket in both hands and responded, “I’m fine, don’t worry about it.” Then her head cocked to the side for a moment. “Were you not just walking the other way? I’m almost certain I saw you in passing.”

Well, that wasn’t ideal. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m very lost.”

“Oh, I can help you with that. Where are you headed?”

“Uh, the stables ideally. Someone took me and my knight’s horses there when we arrived and I’m supposed to be tending to them.”

“You and your… oh you’re Sir Leo’s squire, aren’t you!”

And there went Everand’s amicable attitude. Of course she got excited as soon as she realized he knew Leo, this is how it always went. Didn’t make it any less irritating though. “The one and only. You were showing me where the stables are?”

“Right of course, apologies. They’re not far from here.”

She gave him a quick rundown of where he needed to go and he headed off immediately, not particularly keen on continuing this conversation any longer. With a rushed, “Thank you” shouted behind him, he hurried off to his destination. 

The girl’s instructions were good and he reached the stables within a few minutes. He felt his annoyance and tension leave his body as he saw Lilypad standing in a stall next to Destrier. He was glad to see they’d been taken care of and he was happier amongst the horses anyways. Leo always told him he was meant to take care of Destrier first but Leo wasn’t around and he had a soft spot for Lilypad. He walked in her stall, giving her some gentle pats along her neck. “You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had, girl.”

“Do you always talk to your horse?”

Everand nearly jumped out of his skin as he heard someone speak from directly behind him. He whirled around, only to see the young mage sitting on a bale of hay inside Lilypad’s stall, right next to the entrance.

“What are you doing here?” And how did she get here so fast? He couldn’t actually ask her that, he didn’t want her knowing he’d seen her earlier, but she’d been further away from the stables than him and he had come here immediately after seeing her in that hall.

“Looking for you, squire boy,” she said, hopping up to her feet as she did.

“My name’s Everand.”

“I’m sure it is, squire boy.”

He let out an irritated huff but decided not to press it, there were more important things to say. “Why were you looking for me?”

She tilted her head to the side and looked him up and down. He got the distinct impression she could see right into his head and wondered if that was something mages could do. “Why don’t you tell me squire. Why was I looking for you?”

He didn’t have the time nor the patience for this. “I wouldn’t have asked if I knew, mage girl.”

“It’s Mari, actually.”

“Alright, mage girl.” To Everand’s annoyance, she didn’t seem to much care what he called her, or at least not as visibly as Everand did.

“Yeah alright, well I came to find you because you are clearly up to something.”

“The only thing I’m up to is trying to take care of my horse, thank you very much.”

Mari redirected her attention to the aforementioned horse. “She’s beautiful by the way, does she have a name?”

Everand’s voice softened. “She’s called Lilypad.”

Mari laughed to herself, trying and failing to cover it up with a little cough. “Yeah alright, I guess that’s kinda cute. Does she help you commit crimes or do you do those on your own?”

Everand snapped. “For the last time, I just got here and I have no ill intent. I don’t know why you are so convinced I mean harm but I swear to you, I don’t. If you’re so set on bothering someone, go bother Leo. He’s the one who got banished, I’m just here to take care of the horses. I could not care less about you and your stupid little kingdom. You’re magic right? Shouldn’t you be able to test my intentions or read my mind or something instead of poking around in someone else’s business?”

For the first time since they’d started speaking, Mari seemed thrown. She mumbled to herself, barely loud enough for Everand to hear, “I’m not going to waste magic on a nobody like you.”

Everand threw his arms in the air. “If I’m such a nobody, why are you so intent on following me around, huh?”

Mari rolled her eyes again. “Alright, I’ll let you off easy this time, squire. Just know if you do get up to anything you will regret it.”

Everand rubbed his temples. “I’m sure I will. As long as you’re here, you might as well make yourself useful. I’m supposed to go to the squires’ quarters after this, where are they?” He hated asking her for help but he hadn’t seen anyone else in the stables and he didn’t want to have to repeat his little trip around the castle.

“Uhhh, if you go out the backdoor and to the right you’ll see a hedge pathway, it’ll spit you out right at the squires’ quarters. Anyways, just remember I’m watching you. See you around, squire boy.”

Everand muttered to himself, “Unfortunately you probably will.”

She poked her head back through the door and asked, “What was that?”

“I wasn’t talking to you, go away.”

She snorted. “I forgot you talk to your horse, carry on.”

And with that she was gone

. . .

Everand spent as long as he could with Lilypad and Destrier, but eventually he did have to part with them and find his way to his quarters. By the time he left, the sun was just beginning to set and he headed out the backdoor, looking for the hedge pathway Mari had described. He found it pretty quickly, an opening in a massive wall of bushes that led forwards, both sides surrounded by the hedges. He assumed it was some sort of garden he’d be heading through, hoping it was somewhere he was allowed to be. 

He hurried inside, wanting to find his quarters before night fell. The pathway took a right and then another right, which confused him, appearing to loop back on itself. As he continued forwards he found a fork in the path. Wanting to ensure he didn’t double back on himself, he took a left. He’d assumed it would open up to a garden or more open path but the hedges continued to surround him. By the third fork in the path, Everand realized what had happened. The mage hadn’t told him how to get to the squire’s quarters, she’d led him into a maze. Despite her trick, he could find his way out easily enough. He’d only taken about five turns and he definitely remembered them but when he went to return to the fork in the path he’d just travelled through, it was gone. He followed the path back further but the only thing he could find was a single bend to the right that had not been there moments before, no fork in the path to be seen. 

His breathing got heavier as he continued to move through unfamiliar territory that he would’ve sworn up and down did not exist mere minutes prior. As he travelled forwards, not only did the path seem unfamiliar but it gradually got narrower. Not liking the rapidly enclosing space he turned around but as he headed in that direction, the path only continued to get smaller and smaller as he progressed. He could feel the walls bearing in on him. He started to run, wanting to be free of the maze as quickly as possible. He wasn’t sure what was happening but he knew he had to get out so in a moment of panic he threw himself at one of the walls.

It was far easier to break through than he had anticipated and he found himself barreling through the hedge into a thankfully open pathway and slamming into something solid, or perhaps he should say someone solid, who fell to the ground with a yelp. 

“God this keeps happening, I’m sorry the maze just-” And then he looked up and saw who he ran into. The princess rose slowly from the ground, brushing off her white skirt to try and get rid of the dirt the fall had left on it to mixed success. “I am so sorry, I didn’t realize.”

He went to help her stand up properly but she waved him off and gave him a smile. “You should watch where you’re going.”

“Yes princess, sorry princess.”

“That’s really not necessary. You can call me Lorelai.”

“I can’t-”

“Oh of course you can, I insist. Wait, you’re the new squire, aren’t you? I remember you! I don’t think I caught your name.”

“It’s Everand princ- uh Lorelai. My name is Everand.”

She smiled wistfully to herself. “Everand, I like that. It suits you. You look like an Everand. Well, you look like a lot of things.”

Everand knew he should stop this conversation in its tracks but he couldn’t bring himself to. Her voice was kind and her gaze soft and he just wanted to talk with her forever. “What other things do I look like princess?”

She laughed to herself as he called her princess again but she didn’t correct him. “Well, Everand, you look very angry and very tired, and I would say that you look kind.”

Kind wasn’t one he heard often. He would hazard a guess that she thought many people were kinder than they were. That’s the thing about people with soft gazes and sleepy smiles, they liked to see the best in people. “Well, I hope I don’t disappoint you princess.”

“Oh, don’t worry, you won’t. Now what are you doing all the way in here? You just got here and you’ve already decided to try and best the maze? How brave of you. It can be quite tricky.”

“No, I didn’t mean to. I asked for directions from the mage and she told me to go through here because she was trying to kill me or something, I don’t know.”

A hand flew over the princess’s mouth and it almost sounded like she was fighting back laughter. “You’ve met Mari I see. She can be like that with newcomers, terribly sorry about that. I promise you she meant no real harm, she can just be… mischievous at times. She’ll come around though, I can feel it.”

“Didn’t mean me any harm? The maze tried to eat me!”

She nodded solemnly. “She wouldn’t have known that. She doesn’t believe in the maze. Not really. But don’t worry, I do. I think it’s just not your time to be here yet, Everand. Or maybe it is your time and the maze doesn’t like what that means. Either way, I would stay out of here if I were you. Until something changes.”

He looked around at the surrounding walls nervously. “Trust me, I intend to stay far away from this place. Right now, I’m just worried about getting us out of here.”

The princess laughed again. “Oh, don’t worry about that, I can show you out.”

“But the maze-”

“Trust me, Everand, we’ll be alright. Now where were you headed? If I know where we’re going the maze will take us right there.”

“Uh, I was going to the squire’s quarters?”

She nodded and shut her eyes very tight for a few moments before spinning around and looking at the hedges around her. “Please?” Everand could’ve sworn he heard them shifting around them.

Then the princess grabbed Everand’s hand to lead him along the path and he almost fainted. He knew that of all the things he shouldn’t have been doing, holding the princess’s hand alone in a maze was pretty high on the list. But was he going to pull away from her? Not in a million years.

She led him forwards for barely any time at all, no more than thirty paces and already Everand could see a gap in the hedges that lead out to some sort of small building. He held his breath whilst they slowly approached the exit. As the princess walked through the gap, Everand found himself speeding up, not wanting to be in there for too long while the princess was outside the maze and he was not. Suddenly he was very happy they were holding hands so the maze couldn’t slam shut with him inside. As soon as he exited, he finally let himself breathe, letting out a massive sigh of relief. The princess dropped his hand and turned to him with a proud smile plastered across her face.

“I told you I’d get you out of there!”

He couldn’t help but smile back. “Yeah, you did. Thank you.”

She dropped his hand and reached up to brush a strand of hair out of his face, one that had probably fallen there when he’d accidentally slammed into her minutes ago. “No Everand, thank you for trusting me. It means more than you know.”

Before Everand got the chance to respond, or maybe just stare at her dumbstruck, the door in front of them flew open and a kid came barreling out of the door, looking like he was barely fifteen. They seemed to be starting squires off younger and younger lately. When he saw who was standing outside of the door, he came to a screeching halt, staring with wide eyes.

The princess leaned down a little so she was closer to his height. “Hello. This is Everand, our new squire. Can you take him inside and introduce him to everyone for me?”

The kid nodded, awestruck, and the princess ruffled his hair. “Thank you so much. I will be seeing you around, Everand the squire.”

For once he didn’t particularly mind being called a squire. “I look forward to it, princess.”

She gave him one last smile and then turned and walked back into the maze. Everand instinctually went to tell her not to, that it was too dangerous, but he stopped himself. She seemed like she knew what she was doing.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Well, I’ve had a hell of a week. So far since last weekend, I have:

- Had a conversation with my roommate after which I became sure I would not be able to stay in my house. There’s been a whole thing for the last couple of months where my roommate is moving out and has tried to give our place to someone else, but I very much like this place (for reasons that range from good price and good location and it’s a good house, to I get too emotionally attached to places where I spend too much time) and want to stay here, and it’s long and complicated but basically I’ve had two months of being constantly stressed due to uncertainty about where I’ll be living in the fall. Then last weekend, I had a very confrontational call with my roommate – and I don’t do confrontation well – in which he informed that he was going to do something I had not previously thought of in order to give the house away, I was pretty sure it would work, got very upset due to the unexpected confrontation and due to the fact that I became sure I wouldn’t be able to stay here.

- Three days later, a couple of other people talked to my roommate, I talked to the landlord, a few things changed (including – I’m not saying my roommate will listen to men but not women, but when our male mutual friend made all the exact same points to him that I did, suddenly they made sense), and I’m now pretty sure I can keep the place. More sure than I’ve been for two months. The first time in two months that I’ve been able to lift almost all of that stress off my shoulders, and it’s an amazing feeling. I almost hesitate to write this for fear of inviting the worst, since nothing’s signed yet, it’s not for sure. Also I do still have to find a new roommate to cover the other half of the rent because his subletter’s moving out. But I can figure that out. It’s a huge relief to know it’ll very likely be okay.

- On Monday night, I accompanied my brother to one of his comedy shows, a decision I made partly to take my mind off worrying about whether I’d get to stay in my place (since I hadn’t yet heard the good news about that getting better). My brother convinced me to put my name in a draw, where whatever name they pick gets to perform in the one spot they keep open for that. My fucking name got picked. I performed stand-up comedy for the first time. I recited some shit that I wrote a while ago and have wanted to perform but haven’t had the guts to try before. It went much better than I’d expected, though that’s only because I’d expected it to be a catastrophic failure. In reality it went fine. People laughed more than one time, which wildly exceeded my expectations. Afterward, several comedians and several audience members came up to me to say I did well. Some were presumably just being nice (I’m sure “just being nice” also factored into the laughs, as I did immediately tell them this was my first time doing it), but they seemed to mean it, at least a bit. I think it actually was all right for a first time. Afterward I hung around the bar and drank with comedians and it was the first time in ages that I can remember having so much fucking fun without any part of it being difficult.

- On Wednesday, I went out to a live Celtic music night. This is because a couple of weeks before that, my parents went to a folk festival out East and saw a few of my favourite singers, and that made me sad, because I used to go see music all the time, and I stopped in 2020, and I’ve seen a couple of music things since then but not many, and I miss it. So, it occurred to me, there’s nothing stopping me from just starting it again. The day after the folk festival that I missed, I Googled folk music in my area, found a reasonably priced Celtic music night at a venue that’s relatively near me, that I’d never heard of because it just opened during the pandemic. I checked its schedule and it has a lot of stuff that I like, including monthly Celtic music nights. This sort of thing is part of why I care so much about staying in my place that’s downtown. Near my sport. Near my friend. Near comedy. Near live music. I’ve spent so much time staying in my house not doing stuff, I’m only just starting to do stuff again, I want to do everything, that is not a good time to lose my downtown housing.

So on Wednesday, I walked to this new music venue, and it’s so good. So good. The perfect size, big enough to fit enough of a crowd to bring in touring musicians, not big enough for the size of the room to impact enjoyment. Capacity of about 90 people, I think, and well spread out. Stage with enough room for a band with lots of instruments. A building that was clearly made with acoustics in mind, the sound quality was fantastic. And when I got there, I didn’t want to pay for the overpriced water bottles you get at venues, but I was so hot and thirsty from the walk that I decided it was worth it. So I asked at the counter for a bottle of water, and they told me I could just take a cup and fill it from their water cooler for free. I will be returning to that venue.

Then they played music! God, it’s been so long since I’ve seen that stuff live, I love it. It was a band I didn’t know, but was made of four people, two of whom I did know, from other projects they’ve done. Three were local and one from out East. They all knew their shit, played a bunch of classics and some of their own stuff. Stuck very closely to the “Celtic” remit (unlike some bands that will just define “Celtic music” as “anything with a fiddle”), explained the history of every song and tune, it was mainly Scottish and some Irish and a few Cornish songs. Was fucking beautiful. The show was just about to start when I got a text from my roommate telling me he’d spoken to the landlord and I’ll get more details later but I’m going to be able to stay in the house.

- On Thursday, I went out to a different comedy night. This is one I’ve been to before, a pub that runs comedy every Thursday just around the corner from my house. I went a bunch of weeks in a row this spring, and hadn’t been for a few weeks, but was pleased when the woman working at the bar still recognized me when I came in, asked me where I’d been. This was normal, she’d started recognizing me after I’d been going for a few weeks. What was less normal was that this time, the guy who runs the comedy night also went up to me, and asked if I planned to put my name in the lotto draw, the same type of thing that I did on Monday when my name got picked and I performed. The Monday and Thursday night things both have seven comedians who are booked ahead of time, and then leave open one “lotto spot” that goes to whoever’s name gets pulled from a pitcher.

I said no, because that hadn’t occurred to me, I hadn’t even started to think about how I wanted to try performing again, I’d only come to watch. Then I sat down, thought for five minutes, got back up, and put my name in. Because why not?

My name didn’t end up getting picked, but I enjoyed some of the comedy (not all of it, these nights can be hit and miss, but a few people were good). After it was over, while I was paying my bill, the guy who runs the comedy night came over to me again. He addressed me by my first name, which briefly surprised me because I’d not spoken to him before that night, and I hadn’t realized he knew my name. He said he was sorry I didn’t get picked for the lotto spot, but would I like to perform – as in be on the actual bill, not just in the lotto – on August 10th, in two weeks?

My first thought was genuinely that he’d made some sort of mistake, what with me not being a comedian. I asked him if he was sure, and he said, “Yeah, I saw you at [name of other pub, that runs the Monday night comedy], you were good. So do you want to perform here in two weeks?” I said yes, and thank you, and tried to seem relatively cool about it. Then I left the bar (after briefly apologizing to the guy who had compered the night for how quiet the audience was, including me because to be honest I’d been too distracted by wondering if I’d get picked for the lotto spot to laugh out loud much, but the compere was good and got visibly distressed about how little audience reaction he got, I told him he was funny and deserved a better response, and he told me that made him feel much better and my comment made his night, I’d been nervous to say that to him but then was glad I did, little life tip, if you have nice things to say to people you should say them), and walked home while trying not to shout out loud “I love this fucking city!” as though I was Jim Carry running across town at the end of a movie.

So... it wasn't just people wanting to be nice when they told me on Monday I'd done well. A guy who runs a comedy night thought I did well enough to put me on a bill.

- Last night, I went out for dinner with my best friend, hadn’t eaten in actual restaurant in ages, that was really nice. Hung out at my place afterward. Appreciated how convenient it is to live a fifteen-minute walk from a guy I’ve known for twenty years and still want to see all the time.

- Today, Saturday, I’m about to drive to Montreal to see Tom Ballard and Josie Long, two of my favourite comedians, in a fairly small room at the Just For Laughs Festival. I am so fucking excited. Beyond fucking excited. I am not even going to try to explain how excited I am, because I won’t do it justice. I’ve written a couple of posts about it already. I can barely even think about it. I still can hardly wrap my mind around the idea that Josie Long is a real person and will be in a room with me, even though I’ve been sent pictures she’s put on social media of herself since she arrived in Canada earlier this week.

- Tomorrow, I am being sent to the seaside for my health. I fly out to my grandparents’ home on Canada’s East Coast, my favourite place in the world (Canada’s East Coast in general is a place I love, but my grandparents’ house, out in rural Nova Scotia and right on the ocean, where they’ve been living since I was two years old and where I’ve spent a lot of time every year of my life, is my actual favourite place in the world). My parents have been there for a couple of months now (that’s how they went out to the folk festival that I had to miss due to not being in the area), and I’ll be joining them for a week, and then we’ll all drive home next weekend, and I start a new job on August 8th.

My grandparents won’t be there – they moved into a care home a while ago, and my parents love that house so much and have been trying to figure out a way to keep it in the family, but it doesn’t look like it’s going to work. So part of why they went down this summer was to look into the process of selling it. They did do that a bit, and nothing’s happening immediately, but there’s a good chance this week will be the last time I’ll ever go there. I hope it won’t be. Selling it might take a long time and I might get there again. Or it might sell immediately because it’s the best place in the world.

Either way, I’m going to enjoy this time there. I feel really lucky to have had all the time with it that I’ve had for thirty years, and I feel lucky to get to see it again next week.

So, that's my life update. Things have been rather rough for a while, but they're really looking up. Not everything's sorted out yet, but to paraphrase 30 Rock's Liz Lemon, I am hesitantly allowing myself to feel slightly hopeful.

[phoenixkaptain]

Red Dragon is even sillier than I thought.

Hannibal killed someone to resemble a medical diagram and Will went in his office because Hannibal gave off weird vibes and in the middle of their conversation, Will happened to notice a bunch of books on medicine that would include the exact medical diagram Hannibal based his kill on.

This is what Will claims made him realize Hannibal was the Ripper.

Will then said something (he doesn’t remember what, so I’m assuming he said “Just remembered, I have to make a call, brb”) to which Hannibal Lecter, who was FULLY AWARE that Will knew he was the Ripper (Hannibal in Red Dragon is a telepath, don’t ask questions), allowed Will to leave his office and call the fucking police on a payphone (which I’m assuming took at least a fucking second because it’s a goddamn payphone) before being like “oh shit, right, I don’t want to be caught” and stabbing Will.

I don’t know, I just can’t get over this backstory. They’ve known each other for like fifteen minutes, maybe. Will has ADHD. Hannibal is just like “yeah, I’ll give him enough time to tell someone I’m a murderer.” Hannibal doesn’t kill Will. He is a surgeon and a murderer with quite a bit if experience at this point, I think if he wanted Will dead, Will would be dead, but instead, Hannibal just stabs him in the gut and leaves him to it.

I want to know Hannibal’s motivations in this. What was he thinking? Was he thinking? Is his side of this story like, “I’m talking to this twitchy little guy who Crawford pulled out of school (Will was in training) to catch the Ripper and we’re having a lovely talk and- oh, hey, this twitchy little guy just realized that I’m the Ripper. He wants to phone the police? Yeah, okay, I’m cool with that.”? What was going on?

(I’m tempted to believe that Hannibal let himself be caught because “you know what would really fuck with this guy? If I went to prison for my crimes.”)

Or, maybe, the fact that Will says he heard an inhale before he was stabbed implies that Hannibal was going to kill Will, but realized that he didn’t want to? Maybe he wanted to eat Will? Maybe he wanted to figure out what was wrong with Will before he killed him (coughmarajadestylecoughcough)? Maybe he actually tried to kill Will and is like “oh shit, mission failed, he’s a fucking live”?

I wish we had a story that specifically went over this one scene and I wish that Harris went into excruciatingn detail about what he was thinking when he wrote it. What was the intent?

Also, upon meeting again, Hannibal mentions Will’s aftershave. “The same atrocious aftershave you wore in court.” He specifies “in court.” I feel like this implies Will wasn’t wearing it when they met in Hannibal’s offie. Which makes sense. Will is just going there because Hannibal gives off a weird vibe, why would he shave and clean himself up? Which leads to my question, why did Lecter smell Will as he was stabbing him? Maybe Hannibal likes the smell of blood? Maybe he likes the smell to go from unstabbed to stabbed?

I don’t fucking know and I probably never will and it keeps me up at night