#i keep just getting stuck with “idk they're fucking around i guess?” and i fall into this trap a lot

[capn-twitchery]

my ocs are great at standing in the background of other character's plots but man i gotta find something for them to do Themselves !!!! or at least go back to timeline hopping more so i can develop the shit happening to them in the past. bc i keep getting Stuck

i gotta start putting these guys in situations. look out both of you 🤺

[blacklegsanjiii]

Laying something new out for ya here... This is just a silly AU

But AU with a girl sanji who is very androgynous because 1. Those suits hide her curves very well and she isnt that big chested 2. She has short hair because she likes it better then that but also one time when she was like 10 Zeff accidentally fucked her hair up and she had to go short- and the style just kinda stuck. 3. She has a deeper voice that can pass as a higher guys voice because of the smokes And 4. Canon sanjis behavior is already a fine mix between masculine and feminine so its not that suprising

So when she joines the strawhats none of them fucking know she's not actually a guy and she also just... Doesnt bother mentioning it to them (i kinda love the idea that SANJI also doesnt realise that they dont know, theyre all idiots)

So when they give her a tour of the ship and point to a bed in the mens bunks saying thats her bed she doesnt even blink an eye, she's spend like 10 years around guys at the baratie and sleeping around them is something she's familiar with

And bathing, we all know besides nami robin and sanji the rest barely shower and when they do they just miss each other

Idk just seemed like a funny idea and wanted to hear your thoughts!! When do you think they would realise and how would if play out 🤔 also how longer it plays out how funnier 😭

That's...that would be her luck. That's so funny.

She let Zeff cut her hair once when she was younger and cried afterwards because he cut way too high and had to deal with the emotional fall out of that because it reminded Sanji of her mom's. It's easier to maintain so she just keeps it short. Zeff is surprised she still lets him cut it but he guesses it's already short so he can't fuck it up much more. She wears suits and as she grows up as one of the guys and while she has her own room it's not much and she still has to get used to waking up shitty men in their bunk room because they're running late to prep and shit.

Between, the hair, the suits, the smoker's voice, and the barely A cups she has she's so androgynous. The regulars know, Mihawk who's had her cook his food and serve his wine and Garp who is passing through. After Sanji joins the crew and they defeat Arlong and Sanji is being shown around she doesn't care and just flops in a bunk to sleep. Maybe Sanji doesn't notice at first because she's mostly called Black Leg but she's being referred to as a boy, is being sent to the boy's quarters, is being called mister. She just shrugs it off as it keeps happen.

When they get the Thousand Sunny Sanji still doesn't move into the women's room, there's just more room in the mens room so she's in there, doesn't question it still. When she's in Kamabakka and going through bridal training Ivankov calls her candy boy she is straight up frowning at them and asking what they mean. She's a girl. She gets like B cups after the TS and Ivankov has tried to convince her to stuff her bra or something. She grows her hair out to shoulder length. I think it'd still be hilarious if after the TS no one still knows until Zou/WCI/Wano.

Like on Zou Sanji doesn't confirm or deny anything just promises she'll come back. Everyone is confused about the Princess thing and so when they go get her. She's in dresses through out all of WCI and during the escape as Judge is shit talking her and Luffy is confused about Judge saying all the best things about her and calling her a girl? Sanji says she is a girl, has been since she was born. Chopper knew but didn't disclose it because he thought Sanji was trying to keep it a secret. In Wano it's Luffy running around to all his crew calling Sanji a princess and a girl and has been the whole time they've been sailing.

They're all staring at Sanji, dressed like the men in her yukata as she stares back and tries to get them to answer why none of them except for Chopper knew. She thought she was in the men's room because of her smoking, did she actually have to be in there? Nami and Robin assure her she can move to the women's room. Nami is very excited to play dress up.

[iwannaban0nym0us]

rambley time - this ended up just being soccer probably gonna reblog w/ everything else so this isn't way too massive

i'm terrified i'm so fucking terrified, everything in my life scares me rn and i hate that because things should be good rn

so uh where do i start, i guess soccer makes sense because thats kinda what triggered this

my soccer team is disbanding,,,, again,,, basically last spring the team disbanded because we didn't have enough people who wanted to keep going w/ the club (a bunch of people dropped soccer, a few went to another club) but what me and 3 of my closet teammates did is merge w/ the team a year younger than us (meaning the other team is playing up a year) but since that team is a year younger now they're hitting the point where people are dropping (plus one person my age is quitting for running and another moved to a better club)

i'm so so scared because this time there's no younger team to merge with and that teammate who's dropping soccer for running i've been playing with her for like 7 years,,,,,

there's two main reasons i love this club, 1) the people, 2) it's not quite as committed as a full on club so i have the flexibility to do robotics (which is a huge time suck)

but now i'm terrified because i don't know what comes next like i always kinda thought i'd play w/ this club through high school and now i'm actually coming to terms w/ the fact that i might not be playing non-school soccer like soon

obviously i do have options, like i could go try out for the clubs that my teammates are trying out for but those are ~30min drive away from where i live since i moved while i was on the team and only stuck with it because of the people and with robotics i don't think that is an option because i don't have the time for a fully committed team that far away

another option is a club team in the city i live in and i've been talking w/ a school friend a bit who also plays and we might try and go try out for some teams together but i'm still not sure i want to play club and even if i do want to i might only want to if its with that friend and we might not make the same team(s)

theres also the option of just playing rec in the fall and maybe spring select in the spring (school is in the winter) and honestly i think thats the most likely thing to happen and idk why but that kinda scares me too maybe its because i've been playing club so long and i think i'll feel like less of a soccer player if i can't keep that up but honestly robotics is by far my priority so i think i could live w/ it if i had to

the most terrifying option is that i just stop playing non-school soccer it's pretty unlikely but its still like an actual possibility and i don't think it ever has been before so coming to terms with it is,,,, a lot,,,

so like the soccer thing is really on my mind and whenever i bring it up with like my parents or my friends i feel like they expect things from me. like today my dad was insistent that we get the info for the club that some of my teammates are trying out for (despite them probably gonna end up on a younger team than me) even tho i was saying no since thats the one option i have actually ruled out. and then yesterday i brought it up around a friend and he was like you're so good why don't you just go join another club team and didn't seem to understand that its so much more complicated than that. and also like my friends make fun of me for being a jock and just like expect me to be a soccer person and idkkk aaaaaa

another thing that scares me about joining another team is coming out again because sports are so fucking gendered i hate it, and like its more than just name or pronouns, i love my current team because they fucking cheered when i came out (they were glad my announcement wasn't that i was leaving the team lmao) but even tho i live in an accepting area there's no guarantee a new team would be accepting, also i finally trained my coach to stop calling us 'ladies' or 'girls' and i'd have to do that all fucking over again, and i really really don't think i could deal w/ being forced to wear a fem cut jersey again so i'd have to figure out how to get a men's uniform all over again w/ the new team and going back to the accepting point being in the closet isn't even really an option because i just look so viably queer (plus i have a girlfriend lol)

[isaacathom]

accidentally prompted myself to reconsider the lotmv story, so thats fun

the premise, such that it was, was that Seora was a demigod of light, and had funky light magic. And there was a weird magical darkness that had corrupted the land, and she was one of a whole class of people who keep it at bay. But that 'bay' is pretty politicised, and at some point the whole forced to live with the magical darkness kidnap Seora to make her fix things for them. And then a whole lot of shit happens.

And that's... fine? i guess. but i think it could be better, and part of that is just. telling the big grand politics angle to leave. there was a lot of weird geopolitics happening and we dont need that.

the changes arent unprecedented, since i tried to fix the story earlier too lmao.

what i think id prefer is something a bit more. social?

In a reconsidered lotmv, Seora is still a light demigod, and still has these very specific duties that she's been practically raised for since birth. There's strict duties and hierarchies and so on, things she can and cant do. She has a 'boyfriend', a bodyguard called Roderick, who has absolutely has no interest in but cannot very well reject, because to do so would be stepping out of the social agreement. it would cause problems for them both, but mostly for her. So she's stuck in her job, and in a "relationship".

At some point, she is contacted by Esther, who is a member of a group trying to fix the magic goop problem - a group whose reasonable requests for aid keep being denied. The two start a very careful correspondence, each bound by the norms around them.

An idea comes into focus. Seora would like nothing more than to help them, but the binds of her position stay her hand. She cant do anything. And if she acts out and voices her support, she'll be stripped of whatever "authority" she had while remaining bound.

So, to get Seora into the correct locations, a kidnapping will be staged. The group will kidnap Seora, bring her back to their place, and "force" her to help them. Once she's done what she needs to do, the group will suddenly become amenable to any of the negotiations presented by Seora's people, and they'll return her. She'll not be harmed, her reputation will be preserved, everythings fine.

For the optics, to make it seem that she's unwilling, they'll need to play up some things. She understands this going in. That they'll need to skirt the line for the greater good. She has her part to play.

And what she doesnt reckon with, prior to agreeing to everything, is on falling in love with Esther. And Esther doesn't either.

And that's a problem. Because if Seora starts getting too comfortable, enjoys herself too much, then the whole part of the operation intended to preserve her reputation fails. Because, well, now she looks willing. And that defeats the whole point.

So the two of them are stuck in a complicated dance of the various expectations of them, what they need to do, what roles they have to serve, and what they want.

Because, for Esther, Seora's help is essential. She's the one person that was on board. They need her magical skills. Esther was willing to risk being caught kidnapping her, because the end goal is very important to her. And now she's in love. And that risks the whole fucking thing.

Strictly, this could have all been "present" in the original version of lotmv, but its a slight reframing to be about those expectations and complications. There's still the issue of what exactly Esther's group is, how they fit in/oppose Seora's. In the original, they're different countries. i feel like that still wooorks? two countries who are not on speaking terms, a group within that countries military (?) who feel they have no other choice. there's some little worldbuilding... bits that make things weird, but its workable, i think. maybe? idk

[bemylord]

aot boys as your boyfriend

♡ character: eren, erwin, armin, jean.

♡ warnings: fluff, gender neutral, some curse words.

♡ note: it's my vision of how aot boyzz will act if they'd fell in love with ya. i already did with levi, so i give a link to that chapter.

ᴇʀᴇɴ ʏᴇᴀɢᴇʀ

you've been stuck in his head the whole night. he has daydreamed about you almost every night.

eren isn't the weak boy who'd be scared to tell you his feelings, just he has some insecurities about it. maybe he feels something because you did awake his titan when nobody can't do that; maybe because he was listening to your voice while he was a titan.

you're dexterous and have some skills in how to kill titans. eren thought maybe your ancestors are ackerman?

but he decidedly tunes himself to ask you on a date. 'y/n, are you busy?' 'nope, eren, is something wrong?' 'yes, no, but.. would you mind to go on a date with me?' so, you had your first date under stars, gazing at the shooting star and made a wish. after that night, you entered into a relationship with a titan boy, without even knowing it.

eren'd call you love or baby. even if you both are in the public, he doesn't care what whoever will say: you're his lover and he wants to make it obvious to everyone.

when you inside walls, having a quiet, kinda day-off from the training and cleaning, eren calls it cuddie-day. why? nothing better to do than having you in his muscular arms, burying his face into your hair and finally rest. you both have a chat about nothing, just half-muttering 'til you both fall asleep.

it's kinda egoist but when you two outside the wall, eren'll keep an eye on you. he kills titans within twenty meters faster than you, so you could continue riding.

his palms have calluses and scars from the fight that he had in the past, but you think it's manly. you always rub his rough skin when you've got the opportunity. for eren, he'll do everything for you just so you keep rubbing his scabrous skin.

during the cuddle session, yeager will cover your face with quick but gentle kisses, holding your jawline delicate, pattering on your cheeks with his thumb.

eren tries to make you feel happy and loveable no matter what. also makes sure that you're knowing that you're safe and protected by him.

you should whisper in his ear dirty phrase, as he gets in the mood right away.

ᴇʀᴡɪɴ ꜱᴍɪᴛʜ

you're his hope and support, his sun and his moon. you mean a lot to him.

overprotective bby. before every expedition, he'll insist on you to stay inside the wall. it's not about trust, it's about he'll be focusing on you, he'll certify every second you aren't surrounded by the titans and you've enough gas.

still, he prefers you to be home, waiting for him. the thought of you biding your captain and lover, gives him the energy to come home safe.

he allows you to wash and treat his wounds after a mission. you kiss his tensed muscular, giving him a soothing back massage, running your hands on his body. 'you finally home, my love. other people and i are safe because of you and your teammates. i'm very proud of you'

after an exhausted and long trip, he asks for a few days off to spend with you.

as your captain, he needs to make sure you're strong and have knowledge of how to kill enemies.

erwin's palms are huge, so you're comparing your hand by pressing your palms in his. after years of using the vertical maneuvering equipment, he also has some calluses. the captain loves those moments when you're interlacing hands, despite his coarse skin. 'do you like hold my hands even if they're unpleasant to the touch?' you laughed, kissed his outer part of the palm. 'yes i do, captain, and i do like kissing them'

his confident way of speaking, you consider as something cute at him.

you need to obey, that erwin is dominant in the relationship.

his favorite kiss is neck or collarbone; pressing the lips against your smooth area around the neck, wrapping his arms around your waist, and mumbles some phrases - best way to kiss.

erwin calls you sweetie or honey. everyone in the survey corps knows you both are dating.

no one from organizations will dare to flirt or say something rude to you: whether it's military or scout regimen. it's quite simple, they're scared to die or be eaten alive by a titan. 'y/n, honey, i just want you to know that i love you' 'i love you too, my love' before and after mission, in the morning or before you both go to sleep, during cuddle, erwin tells you a lot of i love you's

ᴊᴇᴀɴ ᴋɪʀꜱᴄʜᴛᴇɪɴ

i guess jean is the kind of boyfriend who'd hold you by your waist all the time when you're at the public.

those tender and affectional quick kiss on your lips while holding your hands in his.

jean knows what he does whilst kissing you if you get what i mean; holding your waist or he runs his finger down your cheek, drawing patterns on them. in the beginning, jean was timid and uncertain about his movements, he hesitant about what he can do, what he can't. now, he determined the way he kisses his lover.

he likes to brag about you a lot. if someone from the corps is looking at you, he talks to them like that: 'are you jealous that they chose me, not you? get the fuck off them, bastard, or else i'll punch in the face'

he's kinda yandere if someone is staring at you.

if you were brat to him or you had been annoying him for some reason, he'd press you against the wall, holds your hands above your head, smirking at your face expression: he took off guard, you helpless and vulnerable. 'you had been a brat, y/n. do you want my kisses or something more? anyways, i'm here to give everything you've been craving for'

at those moments, jean being as cocky as he could be. he's dominant, controlling your movements, and impudent as fuck.

funny-unfunny jokes; compliments a lot if you feel chagrin or downtrodden. he understood you've been through some difficult problems, and living in the world when you need literally survive every day is sick. that's why jean wants to be your sun and the person who'll protect you.

he prefers to call you heartie [because you got the key to his heart] or angel. 'in the world full of ravenous titans, i want to be the one who makes you smile, heartie. take my hand in your, and let's create our world together'

ᴀʀᴍɪɴ ᴀʀʟᴇᴛ

armin is a sweet boy, who'd treat you like a queen.

read a book before fall asleep. you lay down on his chest, listening his calm voice, falling asleep. it's his preferred to end the day.

far beyond the wall, you are acting in unison: he protected you, you protected him. while he's thinking about a strategy you're killing titans or vice versa.

his hugs are warm and cozy. he put his palms at your back, rubbing your skin through the fabric or if you had some spicy night, pattering on your back indecipherable traces;

those dialogues with a cup of tea, when you half-muttering, in the room, that illuminated by the candles, enjoying that atmosphere.

armin loves to take a bath with you. delicately washing your skin, especially if you've got wounds or injuries. once you fell asleep whilst armin was cleaning you.

i think armin would switch. he likes being a dominant one, having right as he wants to, but he also likes when you're taking the control of his body.

armin has small palms with long fingers, milky skin. his hands always warm and delectable to the touch. in addition, armin is a touchy-feely man: he enjoys hugging or interlacing fingers.

idk why but i think armin'd like to have midnight walks on small alleys in the town, dreaming to change this place. he lives here in fear of the unknown what will be next, so armin'll do everything that he could do.

you capture his spirit, make him lose his breath when you smack your lips against his one's. those spontaneous kisses, you know.

occasionally, he gets sudden bursts of tenderness lol but hear me out: you both are doing nothing or training together when suddenly armin wants to kiss or cuddle you. it's just something tantalizing feeling he got. 'you're so beautiful right now, y/n, i want to give you a kiss' 'only now?' you smiled, receiving a shy kiss. armin blushed at your words; he doesn't mean you look unattractive yesterday or something like that. 'i'm sorry, baby, i didn't mean it, i-' 'i've got you, love, don't worry. let me give my kiss' armin gave you a thousand kisses later, as a token of his infinite love for you.

//~~//

yeap i did it. soon part 3 with tsukki-tsukki.

tomorrow i'll post a request with tsukki and do the rest with aot boys.

[ttlmt]

okay I'm gonna try to do everything

something good that happened to me is that I've started exercising again now that it's not a bajillion degrees out (it's still hot, just not unbearable) and it's mostly just walking my dog or riding my bike because I don't do well with anything more than that, but I hope it'll start having a positive effect on my mental health!

I'm excited for december because I won't have class anymore and I remember that we only have a month left of this god forsaken year

this video made me laugh

I think it's cool that we're all just vibing and making clown jokes while tearing up whenever dnp breathe

okay here's my disaster of a cat

one of my favourite dnp moments that comes to mind is when they didn't even bother to do a proper outro for pinof 10 and it was the softest damn thing in existence like

for legal reasons I'm going to have to deny that this was ever already saved on my phone to begin with

my favourite phandom moment was probably when pigeonfest happened and we all were like "yeah we're gonna spend hours watching their balcony cause they're sneaky and definitelyvgoing to do something" and that 'something' was a toy bird. I guess that moment when we all went absolutely feral at the end of normanfest when we heard dan's voice also falls into this category

fun fact: the last time it snowed in FL (central snd southern because I believe north FL had gotten some more recently than the rest of the state) was in the 1970's! it was realy bad snow though and my mom always tells me the story about how they tried to play in the snow and discovered it had sand spurs

if you don't know sand spurs are these little fuckers. idk if other places call them different things

okay time for recs!

song rec

fic rec

video rec

I don't have any game recs but here's my favourite picrew. hopefully this will suffice

some good news is that 2021 is just around the corner and we're going to be able to start seeing more of what dnp have been up to both personally and professionally. even if I don't have much to look forward to in my life I'm still excited for that, which is one of my favourite parts about being in this phandom

just as an end note here: you always make very elaborate lists of things like this and they're always so helpful so I just wanted to say thank you for being such an amazing human and a wonderful part of this community ❤

exercising is so good! i’ve found just being outside is so beneficial to my mental health (esp with a dog ofc lol) i’ve been meaning to start going for afternoon walks again but i always get stuck with school work. i’m going to my dad’s though where my dog is soon so then i have to go for walks which should be good for me.

yay to december and no classes! and also an end to the dumpster fire! (yes i know its just a number but symbols are important and i need a fresh start lol)

i miss their chaos

honestly the clown thing is the best thing thats happened to the phandom in years and i will never forget coming back from my cabin summer 2019 and everyone had clown urls and icons and it was like a weird clown apocalypse and i was so confused. nowadays i just love how its like our own fun meme

i adore your cat

they’re really out here in love and shit keeping heart eyes like that in videos and we just let them

honestly so many of my favourite moments are just like when dnp throw chaos at us and we just have fun with it like we’re literally like those kids you give a toy and they play with the box we make our own fun

that is WILD and that is literally a hell demon plant. honestly it never used to snow much here but now we’ve been getting massive storms every year and its fucking cold so like climate change innit

this is so pretty??

adding to my tbr rn

FLUFFY PUPPY

this is so cute!!

yesss theres so much to look forward to in the phandom for next year!

ahhh thank you harley 🥺🥺 i’m glad you like them, and thank you for this list as well cause it made me smile and you are just such a lovely person <33

[mikaa-exe]

Demon hunter au | Demon!Hyunjin x DemonHunter!Reader

Requested by @jung-snoopy-woo, thank you so much for your kind words ^^

•Gender neutral reader

•fluff uwu

•some swear words here and there

•might have some typos but I'll fix them asap if I find any

Ok

We don't want to brag here but

You kinda were the best demon hunter of your area

Those naughty creatures got nothing on you

You were always one step ahead

You've been doing this for so long that you already knew every trick they would use to mislead you, every action and almost every face and name -_-

And you could see that they were scared of you, even if they didn't show it

You're basically a whole badass reader damn!!

Let's give some context here

So there's been demons around since before you were born

They aren't the evil bloodthristy creatures that you normally find in books or movies

Well most of them aren't

Some of them kill and do that whole satan thing but the rest are chill most of the time

They're just a pain in the butt jesus

The demons love to be mischievous and play tricks on every one

They steal not because they need money or products but because they love chaos

They go to peoples houses just to mess with their closets and dishes

They eat your food before you can even finish cooking it

They even steal candies from children >:( those bastards

So it's your job to capture these creatures when they get too out of control

You're amazing but there is one specific demon that haunts your nightmares

Hwang Hyunjin -_-

This demon has been YOUR pain in the butt for almost 6 years now!!

The first time he appeared was in your bedroom, you were about to fall asleep when you felt your hair being pulled from behind you

Boy you were hella fast to jump from your bed and grab the closest thing to you in that moment, which was YOUR GUN- no I'm joking, it was a knife, you don't bring guns to bed, that's gross

You looked around but it was too dark to see anything so you sneackly walked to the switch and BAM

No one was there

The fuck

-_-

Now at this point you were positive it was a demon but why wasn't he showing itself or attacking you again? That's not common of them

-"Did you lose something?"

JESUSWTFISHAPPENINGBITCHIGOTAKNIFEANDIMNOTAFRAIDTOUSEIT

The voice behind you made you jump and hit your head in the light that hanged from the wall

Well ouch that was really unecessary

You looked up and--

Wow hello cutie

NOP

WHAT THE FUCK READER IT'S A DEMON AND IT JUST PULLED YOUR HAIR GET YOUR FEELINGS TOGETHER

The little shit had the audacy to l a u g h

Bitch

- "Aren't you supposed to be the best demon hunter here?"

You gave this little shit your scariest gaze

At least the scariest you could while sitting on the floor with your hair all over the place

-"WhY? dO yOu hAvE A pRoBlEm SiR?"

-"Mmh idk... Thought you'd be taller"

And just like that he desapeared, leaving you on the floor still trying to digest what the heck had happened here

So there you go, that's how you two met

From that day on he made sure to visit you almost everyday

He's the one who switches your socks right before you go out just to see you wearing mismatching socks like an idiot

He puts salt on your morning cereal and sugar on your lunch

He goes to school with you and just follows you everywhere

-"Is this what you chose to wear to school? Geez"

-"vxhdbxvvx can you not"

-"That girl is looking at you funny, you should spit on her"

-"WtF sPiT?!"

-"Omg the teacher asked you a question and you're taking this long to answer?"

-"Shut up I'm thinking!!!"

-"What if you stood up right now and started dancing the floss?"

-"Why would I do that?"

-"Why aren't you talking to me? :("

-"Hyunjin I am in class and I don't want to talk"

-"Why do you keep responding then?"

-"I'm about to punch you so hard--"

-"You can't, you're in class"

-"ARHHHHHH"

You would laugh at how ridiculous this situation was if it had nothing to do you with you

BUT IT HAD UFFF

You tried everything to get Hyunjin to leave you alone

Demon traps, boxes, holy water because why not

You tried violence once but the best you managed to do was throwing him some cookies

Guess what

You missed

And you waisted some perfectly good cookies :(

You're not a violent person in general bUT THIS BOY AHH

You even tried talking to him at one point about this whole situation but he was too busy drawing on your kitchen walls with tomato sauce

It was starting to get to you so you reported him to your superiors but they said they didn't have any complains about a demon named Hyunjin

So that means this idiot is only here to mess with you and you only

WHY CRUEL WORLD WHY

Ok

Let's be fair

He never seemed interested in actually hurting you or doing anything too mean

He just seemed to want your attention God knows why

So if you're stuck dealing with him might as well try and enjoy this situation

What do people usually say?

If you can't win, join them

Instead of yelling at him or throwing him your book collection for the third time you asked how his day went and even offered him some cookies

Let's just say he was s h o o k

He just stood there, mouth open and completly lost

JSHDJDBBDNSNVDKD

READER YOU BROKE HIM!!!

You?! Being nIcE to him?!

Is this a joke, where are the cameras?!

The only thing he managed to say was a shy "Good.." and a mumbled "no thanks"

O M G :o

The demon that's capable of spending the whole night talking about God knows what is out of words .. WOW!

The next day you found him repainting his old masterpiece on your kitchen wall but with mustard this time

You quietly walked up to him and replaced the mustard in his hand with a rug

-"I like this smell better"

HE WAS SO CONFUSED THE POOR THING!!

He looked down with the face of someone who was having an existential crisis and started cleaning your wall

You smiled at him and gave him a thumbs up to which he responded with a blink and a worried smile

SJBDJSMBDJE HELP

So yeah, from that day foward you tried being nice to him and understanding his needs and actions

And if we're being honest here

He wasn't all that bad when you got to know him better

Aparently the other demons didn't like him that much so he tried to find other ways to entertain himself

You thought maybe boddering you was his way of expressing himself??

He thought that was the only way he could get your attetion

So you tried teaching him how to help instead of being annoying

He still went to school with you but now he insisted to help by carrying some of your stuff

He was quieter during classes and even started answering some questions on a notebook that you offered him

Maybe it was out of boredom but you were so happy!!

He was learning and that was so good and adorable! ^w^

He asked for your help sometimes with the things he couldn't solve

And you thought he looked so cute when he would bite your pencil whenever a harder question came up

You two started doing homework together and he was getting so much better at each subject

You felt like a proud mother :')

He would now watch you while you cooked for you both and would occasionally ask some questions like why did you put that in there or why were you mixing the ingredients with a fork and not a spoon

So you tried teaching him how to cook

Let's just say he was a whole m e s s

So after hours of intense baking you ended up with a weird red mix and some mashed potatoes

Your kitchen was dirty, sticky, slippery and oN FIRE OMG!!!!!!

After a visit from the fire department Hyunjin promised he would be more careful and ask you before turning on anything

You also discovered he was a whole teddy bear

Omg this boy was so soft and cuddly

He's such a clingy demon but he was also kinda shy, specially at first

THE UWUs

THEY EXPLODED

He started by getting closer to you until your shoulders touched but if you looked at him with a questioning gaze he would immediately push you to the ground and run away with a evil laugh and some flushed cheeks

Whenever you had free time you two would do a movie marathon that always ended up with holding hands or falling asleep on each other

He once had the brilliant idea that you two should definitely watch a horror movie one night

He thought it would be the perfect opportunity to prove you how strong he was and how he could protect you

But it didn't go like he had hoped to

You two ended up a trembling mess of limbs, cuddled up to each other as Hyunjin whispered how bad of an idea that was and how it was all your fault

THIS BITCH I CAN'T-

Some days you would just arrive home totally exhausted and Hyunjin would make you some warm tea and cuddle you on the sofa until you fell asleep

He'd try to stay awake in case you wanted to move or go to your room but you were so warm and cozy that he was gone not even a minute after you

He'd also insist on doing your hair when you were going out

He loved it and he had a lot of fun so anytime he had the opportunity he would ask you to let him help

At first you ended up with a mess of braids and accessories that formed a weird nest on your head

BUT HYUNJIN LOOKED SO HAPPY WITH HIS PUPPY EYES AHH

You ended up going out like that

But he got better with time

Whenever you had to leave him alone at home you would write him a list of things for him to do and others that he shouldn't even attempt to

You arrived later and found your house a little messier than before and Hyunjin cleaning a weird green goo that mysteriously fell on the floor

Y o u r f l o o r

But you couldn't be mad at him now, specially because when Hyunjin saw you he tackled and trapped you in a big bear hug that immediately melted all your anger

How can someone be so cute Hwang Hyunjin wHAT IS HE DOING TO YOU

How dare he mess with your feelings this way

You two started opening up more and more to each other and BAM that's how you got your super demon best friend :D

His mischievous side wasn't all gone, he still pranked you once in a while but now you were sure it wasn't for the sake of being mean

And he made sure to compensate you with cuddles, an attempt of a meal or a gift made of things he found around the house

It so was weird

At first you couldn't handle him but now you two are inseparable!

It's unusual but you both make it work

Your own way ^^

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Jeremiah: how'd you know that was your granny?

Me; i remember her voice. Jeremiah don't cry

Jeremiah: that's so fucked up how do you say that to someone?

Well... I remember her voice and im sure God made sure that memory was open for me. She got a real rugged voice like her life, I knew it when she said I had to apologize. Its a voice that carries all this pain from all these years. Remember she was real old and wrinkled like crispy crispy fried chicken. And her little old eyes... They were always sad and mad and all mean no nonsense and she couldn't ever hear and i hated yelling at her so she could hear so she had me write it down for her.

But her voice is like her face when she was alive, deep from the heart carrying what the heart feels, that's how. Just carrying all her life dignity and harsh life experiences.

So a little story about my mom and my granny. Denise used to live with my granny in one of them silver bullet type campers but it was real spacious. She used to live there with granny to keep her ass from jail. Granny was the only one that could ring her up by her neck like a chicken and beat that ass.

One time we went to visit in about 1985 and Denise went in there and stabbed her with an ink pen right in the foot. I remember that iodine they used to clean and heal it up with all on her skin. And the bandages.

Denise did it right in front of me cause i went out there and Denise was taking off ber top all "my granny gonna give me a bath" and my granny looked scared.

Mind you id already drank bleach watched my twin brother murdered in front of me abd bypassed death multiple times So i knew by looking in grannys blue eyes she wasn't about to give no one a bath.

So i looked all in the small trailer and told her "there aint no place to take a bath. There aint no tub. What in the sink? You're way too fat to"

"Well fine I'll wash the dishes" took a pan and knocked my granny out cold! I ran to get my dad and I felt i didn't run fast enough by the time i got back my mom was all trying sex shit on my granny who was knocked out. So i went outside and screamed on the top of ny lungs and everyone came running then.

They dumped granny in an old wash tub in the yard. Old silver one y'all rich people use to feed your calves and horses in. And woke her up and i was all satisfied cause I got to wondering "where does she bathe?" Well in the big house of course but they only had a shower there. So i was all "now that's a bath" the rest of the summer i used it for my bathing tub and my swimming pool and we made a mud pit to wrestle my cousin in. Girls against girls and boys against boys my granny said. Till i won all the girls at least twice then she said i could wrestle the boys. With my clothes on of course. Kyle was the only one that could beat me of my cousins. Now he is gangsta thug through and through. Big as Hell and i know I'd be a dumb bitch to start with him but he ain't nothing but a big ole teddy bear to most. Still would not cross him a bit. I beat a few of my uncles, too. But to be fair i was pretty wiggly and we were in some real wet slick mud from my tub overflow and swimming with the girl cousins and the boys splashing during their turn. And a bit of sprinkle instigation from my granny spraying us down to call quits and to hose those beat down so they could go play safe.

So that night i was hiding in my moms old bed with granny in her little house and my uncle all dumb came with my mom, not knowing what was to happen. Well my mom told little old Shane to beat it and my mom was all trying her Sins again and she kept wiggling at the curtain and all so I crept up to the corner and peeked around and Denise said "why is she in here?"

Granny said "well you didn't even know she was missing"

And so Denise punched her right in the eye! So i jumped up and knocked down the blue and green and yellow paisley curtain to separate the bed space, thankfully I jumped and it didn't heat me full on the head and i started screaming full on hoping my uncle was close enough to hear.

He was But he ran in the big house to get my dad and his dad and anyone else.

I was standing on the curtain when Denise stabbed my granny with the blue note pen we were using to talk with. And stabbed my granny right in the ankle space above her foot and under the calf.

Then she came for me so i ducked in that small 5 feet of space that the kitchen covered, yanked that pen out my granny and went towards my mom and she ran for the door, the fat coward. So I stabbed her right in the left shoulder blade like a boss bitch. I was 4 years old.

"Well you little" she spat as she turned with eyes only the Devil himself would be fond of. I was fucking exhausted fighting all day and being in the mud and all and i had been sleeping so i got pissed. I wouldn't done that shit she stayed in the big house like she was supposed to.

So i took that pan granny put in the drawer, a good 9 inch iron skillet only God could made and I started beating the shit outta her. Right on the left side of the face first then she fell all fake and i kept beating her then she started biting my granny!!! Right about then the door flew open and my little uncle that had just been out was there and he said "they're coming" i saw relief on my granny i was all "no i got this, shut the door I don't need the whole house seeing this"

But i seen a pair of old man grandpa hands that been working the prison for 40 years reach in and grab those fat ankles and pull her out and im yelling and beating her the whole time. "Hey! What the Hell are you doing?! I ain't finished! Shit and Fuck! Get back here you dumb bitch ---"

And i looked up in the dark and saw nothing but my grandpa's bright blue eyes twinkling in the low kitchen light "Well finish"

"I... Uh.. Let me get the pan!" I was plum confused "are you sure? I can for sure kill her"

"As you wish" and he gestured toward my mother's body. She was wrestling to wake up and grandpa put his bare foot brave to walk in the desert valley of Arizona square on her back and i told him hold on to the door so he didnt fall and i went wailing on her till my dad came and i looked at my dad with that iron pan in both my hands held low at my hips "but I'm not finished"

Oh grandpa just started laughing so hard he could barely stand i was glad he held that door cause for sure he would fallen. And grandpa said "ah just let her"

"Alright!!!" I started to begin wailing again "oh can i dad?" I was a perfect child, always getting permission from adults to murder. Still do. Still do. Except for here and there in My teenage years. "Oh and someone got to take care of her!" Cause my dad and grandpa were wondering if i was finished cause i was covered in blood. And granny was yelling "no its me! Let her finish!"

So my dad went in and left to get some bandages from the house. Cause she was squirting blood all over. And dripping and her tea towel (hand towel) was soaked nearly full of blood except the corners.

Granny hollering "I'll be fine! Let her finish!"

Y'all see me in this old lady? Genetics baby, i got the good ones.

So i started wailing harder than ever on that old beast. Im only four and that iron skillet was heavy and i been done using my muscles for the day already. But i got fueled for seeing that blood and i kept on the back of her neck till grandpa said "woah what's that pen doing out her back? Did you do your granny too?"

My mouth dropped open "no sir"

"Alright then finish" just like a prison guard he told me.

"Well yes sir where shall i hit?" My granny had been teaching me old fancy words and styles of speaking from "the old South" all day. Kinda testing me. She would say a sentence like "shall I order some tea?" And I had to guess what she asked "oh can you" and I would write "can" and she would say what kinda can? She would show me green bean can and i would shake my head no.

"Well you can hit her in the legs so she can't walk and do this no more"

So i hit her square on her lower ass "the top of the legs! The middle! The ankle, the calve!" I went up and down shouting anatomy I looked up at my granny and she looked tired with her head down so i yelled "oh fuck! Is she alright?!? Dad is my granny--?" And she waved her hand at me my dad was looking up at me, his eyes full of pain, sadness and glistening with humor and admiration. My mouth fell over "are you" and i stumbled towards him and granny waved me off again and i seen she was laughing and she sat up heehawwing all kinds! Then put her head down. Grandpa was shaking the whole door with his laughing nearly shaking it plumb off i was afraid. "Now what were you doing when i was shouting anatomy? Your face was different" i hit that ink pen in further about all i could muscle up seeing everyone was alright.

"Anatomy? Billy where she learned this shit from? I know shall and sir was from her but anatomy?! What? Go on you can hit again"

"Oh Idk i guess Denise"

"Yeah that bitch be hitting me if i don't help her study right. Don't you?" I grabbed her by the back of her bloody head and looked in her face and dropped both her and the pan "oh my God, that's gross. She about to stink"

She was dead.

"Now we gotta do CPR" said my tired dad

"Now you hold on! Now this is MY house! Sabrina you do the CPR" i helped him flip the bitch over "now Billy you stay right there. Sabrina now you jump on her chest! Get to starting!"

"But i don't wanna!!!!"

"Now come on I'll help you. Well hold hands, you know how to take a life dont you? Now you gotta earn your path and make sure you know how to restart one too! Now come on! Don't run!"

Dam I tried not to learn that lesson and dam if it hadn't stuck with me all these years. 4 year old kid me learned some real stuff back then in 1985 but here in 2019 i learned the rest of my path. Sometimes it's alright to let me finish and run off. Now me and Jesse are in a fight because he disagreed with me, i got real mad and some new friends questioned my judgement. But they understood after a nap. And i still ain't friends with Jesse now. Cause it ain't about death with him its the fact he still wants kr to suffer. So I'm glad my granny is back Because she aint that way. My grandpa is here, too And he sure is sorry. He died of cancer. My Granny just cause she was old lonely and had a broken heart. And Jesse better watch the fuck out cause hes the liar, not me. He got me mad. Done sent two people to kill me in Santa Fe and some bitch tonight all talking about hiding on my porch with a gun. I told his bitch ass he better be in a bullet proof vest cause ima shoot his face with it. He got scared m i told him he better start running and jesse was all she's too fat to chase you!! For real. My legs work. Today in 2019.

So now i listened cause my dad yelled but my granny said "let her run!"

But I listened cause my dad always protected me so if it was me I'd want CPR probably

And we had a discussion about it. And grandpa said "you want me and your dad to do it or you want me and you?!"

"Me and you, i guess. If someone's gotta do it better be Me, sir i got it" i grudgingly climbed on my moms fat where my grandpa gave me a tight hug and made my sadness disappate.

I tried to run again "now come here!"

"Awh! I thought I'd get a hug and that would be the end!"

"Is that what your mother do to you?"

I started all crying trying to explain.

"Never Mind ill call the ambulance"

My dad did and my dad said not to jump and put my feet where they should go and i just moved up and down real soft a bit once the ambulance lights turned the corner.

Grandpa said to take granny first although she was hurt a bit and said Denise was going to through coroner and the EMT argued "we are here to save a life"

"Then save her!" He pointed at me, "SHE did this Cause her momma, this one" he pointed at the ground "has been attacking dear old granny all day! Now call the coroner! I would say im sorry! But im not! Now call it up use the phone! Go on and do it!"

"Sir let me remind you you're not the sheriff!"

"then call him!!"

"Im glad I'm not in prison because now I can see why you work there youre scaryyyy"

"Did he make you do it?!?!"

"He stabbed my granny with a pen? No she did!!!!"

Granpa was all "whoa! Now she knows consequences of actions and you're standing here arguing and i got one bleeding to death, a little one all nervous and a dead body! Are you here to save a life or what not?!?!"

"Yes sir. Let me get in there to old granny but move her" finally he looked down "oh she's dead. Im sorry sir"

"Well i ain't!" My grandpa was loud granny laughed.

"Y'all are about as sick in the head as i ever seen" the EMT tried not to laugh

"Well you see a grown woman trying to rape your granny! That was her mom and she got her and i sure aint sorry it's about the 5th time today I had to get onto her about behaving!" Then grandpa's voice got quiet and gentler "now this one!" And he picked me up and carried me "now im going over to the tractor!!" And he put me up high on it and told me he was hiding me and I could run if i wanted, no one would ever catch me.

I didn't. And i was told to tell only what Denise had done to my granny. And i had won at muscle wrestling all day in the mud and i was in there sleep to protect my granny And i did. To the fullest extent of the law.

Unfortunately they sent the fat old bitch to the hospital and got her dumb ass back to life. Unfortunately I didn't beat it into her brains well enough... Cause now 34 years later.... Denise hasn't changed.

We should just put her in the field and ran her over with the tractor for the horses to eat and the dogs.

Its made me wiser to the world around me. Smarter than i can stand, until i want death myself because there's no end to misery.

But I've learned that i can't kill them all. So days that I get the good old dead back relieve a misery that i cannot stand that I see in so many people.

And those life lessons I learned all those years ago at the tender age of four have always stuck with me and have changed the world m from Iraq to Afghanistan to the good old USA. And they will continue to. And even in London.

And that's my promise given to me by the dead that they intend to keep.

So lately I've been thinking about Revelations in the bible. It keeps me happy to think one day (hopefully soon) all the evil will drop dead and all the good ghosts can once again have bodies they can keep. That keeps me healthy and "mentally sane" as they call it.

[killerqueenjoy]

99 Question Tag

okay okay I know i got tagged to do this like a month ago on my main blog by @santonicababy iM SORRY LIN ILY BUT THIS WAS SO DAMN LONG

1) DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED

I sleep in the room where everybodies closets are and they all gotta be closed goddamn do you know how spooky it is to even have one open during the night

2) DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS

my parents do, but alas I don't use them in case they have silicones or sulphates in them because I got a whole lotta curls to protect

3)DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT?

if this refers to the sheet protecting the mattress, then my answer is in because how the fuck would you be able to sleep with that moving around???

4) HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE

NO SORRY IM BORING

5)DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST IT NOTES

heck yeah, but for random shit

6) DO YOU EVER CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM

nee my parents are fancy fuckers who use the coupons on their phone (our local supermarket has a damn app skskksksk)

7) WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES

a bear because its one giant son of a bitch and not millions of tiny motherfuckers and also I've never been stung by a bee and intend to keep it that way because majority of my family seem to be allergic

8) DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES

nope! I have a couple beauty spots on my hands and face but thats kinda it

9) DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES

not really but if I've been told to smile then its 200% dead inside

10) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE

i find many things annoying

11)DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK

only when i go up and down stairs, but i also try to make sure i step with each foot equally (if that makes sense) and i step on only certain colour tiles when im bored

12) HAVE YOU EVER PEED IN THE WOODS

the real question is have i ever been in the woods? both answers are no

13) HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS

refer to question 12

14)ummmm idk what this question is meant to be curse you Lin

15)DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS

nope, the idea weirds me out

16) HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK

none, this week and in general

17) WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED

one person and a long yet smol doggo size

18) WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK

Eddie from the Rocky Horror Picture Show has been stuck in my head for the whole week so yeah i guess that

19)IS IT OKAY FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK

HeLL YEAH DUDE HAVE YOU SEEN RAMI MALEK IN PINK

SKSKSKSKS END MY LIFE

but yeah, anyone can wear anything they want to wear (although a suit made out of meat might not be wise)

20) DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS

dudeeeee scooby doo and tom and jerry are my jam I watch them on the regular (among other things)

21)WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE MOVIE

uhhm idkkkkk I tend to repress bad movies sksksk

22)WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME

idk shove it in the closet ig at least it will be hidden behind my sexuality

23)WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER

I usually only drink before or after but ig water??? cooldrink if I'm in a restaurant

24)WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN

depends on the nug

25)WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD

How dare you assume i only have one favourite

tbh it depends cos i love pizza and pasta and stuff but then i cannot live with my granny's curries ksksmks

26) WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE

borhap, sing street, rhps, the natm movies, the harry potter movies, any mcu movies

27)LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU

ahhahahahahahha bold of you to assume anyone wants to do that

28) WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT

nope but I was a catrobat which is basically my preschools acrobatics team that was actually really terrible

29)WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE

nahh m8

30) WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER

this week for a transactional task at school (It was in Afrikaans and I got a C skskskks)

31)CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL IN A CAR

omg no

32)EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET

not old enough to drive!

33)EVER RAN OUT OF GAS

my parents never have for as long as i can remember

34)WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE KINDA SANDWHICH

cheese because I am actually John Deacon

35)BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST

MUFFINS!!!!

36)WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME

school nights its 11pm otherwise i dont have one lol

37)ARE YOU LAZY

YES BUT MY LAZINESS MAKES ME ANXIOUS OOF

38)WHEN YOU WERE A KID WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN

we dont celebrate that here but i rly want to it seems fun!

39)WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN

Ram, which is really cool because im an Aries, so I'm sheep squared

40)HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK

English, Afrikaans (at a basic highschool level), I could speak very vERY basic isiZulu when I was younger but I'm not sure about now, I know a bit of French and Telugu, and I'm gonna start learning Hindi soon!!

41) DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS

nee

42) WHICH ARE BETTER, LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS

i didn't play much with legos and i have no idea what the second one is rip

43)ARE YOU STUBBORN

to an extent

44)WHO IS BETTER, LENO OR LETTERMAN

I kept reading Leno as Lenin ffs

45)EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS

I watch them occasionally with my granny, but I don't keep up with them very well (Kasamh Se is my shit tho)

46)ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS

no, im afraid of falling in general tho

47) DO YOU SING IN THE CAR

My dad and I bop frequently to Never Gonna Give You Up in the car, and also classic bollywood songs (we have even learnt the choreography for some)

48)DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER

i perform

49) DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR

well theres not exactly much space

50)EVER USED A GUN

nope

51)LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER

not sure

52)DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY

most are but thats why i like them

53) IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL

we don't celebrate because we're not Christian (we still eat a lot and exchange presents tho), but it can get stressful if we have to visit extended family, mostly because my extended family loves to insult everything about me so thats great!

54)EVER EAT A PIEROGI

not i good sir

55) FAVOURITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE

never had one, it doesnt appeal to me

56) OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID

a vet

57)DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS

i am a ghost

58)EVER HAD A DEJA-VU FEELING

not that i remember

59)DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY

yes, I take a multi vitamin, a vitamin D pill because I'm vitamin D deficient, and im not sure if this is a vitamin or not but i take evening primrose oil so that im not outwardly a bitch due to pms

60)DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS

i wear slipper socks, because my doggo got jealous of my doggie slippers and murdered them in cold blood

61)DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE

i have one and rarely use it because i forget it exists

62)WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED

a random shirt and pants, though ive been known to kick pants off (ive been doing that since birth), occasionally i manage to get the matching pj set

63)WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT

ive unfortunately never been to a concert before

64)WALMART TARGET OR KMART

ive never seen any of these stores in my country

65)NIKE OR ADIDAS

i own neither

66) CHEETOS OR FRITOS

neither

67)PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS

Peanuts because thats my doggos name!

68) EVER HEARD OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN

no sorry

69)EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS

i went to a bhangra class for about a year, and we performed for our parents at the end of that year (i was in one of the few groups that didnt have to dance in lehengas thank goodness)

70)IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE

YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING

probably something creative, but I don't mind as long as they're happy with what they're doing and its not harming others!

71)CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE

yep

72)EVER WON A SPELLING BEE

never entered one, having to spell out loud makes me anxious

73)HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY

i think so

74)OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS

nope

75)OWN A RECORD PLAYER

i wish

76)DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE

my granny burns incense while I'm at school because my mom and i both get really sick when its just been lit and the smell is strong. Going to the temple is a damn nightmare because of it

77)EVER BEEN IN LOVE

no, too busy fangirling

78)WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT

oof a long list

Queen, Twenty One Pilots, Waterparks, Frank Iero and the Future Violents (ffs fronk stop changin the name), Panic! at the Disco...to name a few

79)WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW

refer to question 63

80)HOT TEA OR COLD TEA

both

81)TEA OR COFFEE

coffee

82)SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES

sugar cookies

83)CAN YOU SWIM WELL

i wouldn't drown, but im no professional either

84)CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE

im doing it right now

85)ARE YOU PATIENT

eh

86)DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING

I've only ever been to Hindi,Tamil and Telugu weddings and lemme tell you 90% of the time bands flop at those weddings because they can't sing the classics without failing miserably, so DJs are generally better. However, in that case, if a band can perform those songs, then I'd prefer a band ig

87)EVER WON A CONTEST

yep, a couple of reading contests

88)HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY

nope, not planning on it

89)WHICH ARE BETTER, BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES

dont like olives rip

90)CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET

i can knit!

in fact, my friends and i are so cool that we're in our schools knitting club (which besides myself, @grandfunnyemopainter and @imjustabruh , only has 2 other members)

91)BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE

lounge or study/library

92)DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED

i guess, its not on my goal list tho

93)IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED

no

94)WHO WAS YOUR HIGHSCHOOL CRUSH

currently in highschool, and in love with the borhap cast, sebastian stan, stephanie beatriz and band members (theres more but yeah)

95)DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY

nope, i have only two ways to deal, be a total pushover or a total bitch

96)DO YOU HAVE KIDS

nope

97)DO YOU WANT KIDS

kind of undecided, but i do want more pets

98)WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR

Dark Blue

99)DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW

my dog, shes been ignoring me for about four hours now because I stayed at school for an extra hour (for knitting club!)

@softspaceboibrian @roger-taylor-owns-my-wigg @im-inlovewithmycar do it cowards

[chasholidays]

okay please write me non-au where bellamy comes back to earth & they missed each other so much that it is now like SUPER AWKWARD & UNCOMFORTABLE TO BE AROUND EACH OTHER?? but then something something grounders, they get captured by whoever they're currently at war with & HANDCUFFED TOGETHER & make a break for it & have to fight their way out in cuffs & idk I just have this mental image of them being chased through a forest but weirdly happy about it cause the magic is back in their relationship

oops I failed to write a scene like that mental image sry tree this is what you get

“I can’t believe after six years and two apocalypses, we still haven’t just made some fucking friends,” Bellamy grumbles, letting his head fall back against the wall. “Hasn’t anyone ever heard of giving peace a chance?”

Clarke laughs, this soft, amused little huff that makes his heart skip. It’s easy to be annoyed when they’re stuck in some jail cell, imprisoned by people he didn’t even know existed, but at least they’re stuck together. The most unbelievable thing is that Clarke is alive, and next to him, and just as pissed off about the whole thing as he is.

That part is, admittedly, completely believable. He and Clarke are great at being pissed off about the same stuff.

“We’ll get there,” she says, with a calm he does have trouble understanding. “What’s the quote? The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”

“Martin Luther King Jr., right?” he asks. “You must have had a while to read while we were gone.”

“I had nothing but time,” she says, and he tries not to wince.

The thing about leaving Clarke behind is that no one did anything wrong, but it still feels like he fucked up. Like he should have done more, even though they’re all agreed that what he did was exactly right. He left her. He was supposed to leave her. And they’re all alive.

This is the happy ending.

“So, how do we get out?” he asks, raising his left hand and pulling hers with it. “And out of this?”

“I don’t know. I assume they want us as hostages. To leverage against your sister and my mom.”

“Which is why we should get out.They can’t use use us if they don’t have us.”

“Great,” says Clarke. “How exactly?”

“Teamwork? Novel concept, I know.”

It’s a stupid thing to say, but it’s been a hard few weeks, harder than he expected. It was supposed to be, well, different. She wasn’t supposed to be alive at all, and while the fact that she is remains probably the single best thing that has ever happened to him, they haven’t settled back into being a unit yet.

Part of him can’t help worry that they never will again. That six years is too wide a chasm to cross.

“Teamwork doesn’t bend bars, Bellamy,” she says, but it’s teasing.

“It might, we haven’t tried yet.”

She smiles, and his heart twists, a little painfully. He’d been ready for a future without her in it, but that was when she was dead. The prospect of future with her in it, but not his, that’s something he’s still getting used to.

“I guess we’re not doing anything else.”

They don’t have any luck with finding an exit, but it’s good to have something to do. As much as Bellamy’s wanted a good few hours to sit down with Clarke and talk, this wasn’t really what he had in mind. And he still doesn’t know what to say to her, honestly. Sometimes, he wonders if he even knows her at all, anymore, if he ever will again.

Then, their guard opens the door to feed them, and it’s like no time has passed at all. Without discussion or a single word spoken, they take him out, even handcuffed together, even with all the awkwardness between them.

Clarke gets the keys with her free hand, and Bellamy gets the man’s weapon. It’s their good luck that it’s his left wrist bound to her right one, leaving both of them with their dominant hands free, and Clarke leads the way while he covers her with the gun.

“Just like old times,” he mutters, and Clarke spares him a smile.

“Like you said, I wouldn’t mind something different, one of these days.”

The timing is perfect, because that’s when they break out of the ship, into the barren landscape of broken trees and wilted grass. It’s how everything looks, outside of Clarke’s patch of green earth, and it still gives Bellamy a creeping feeling of cold dread in his gut. There’s so much more barren ground than there is new growth, and sometimes he thinks they can’t survive this. That it won’t ever be enough.

“So, where now?” asks Clarke, and when he looks at her, the tension eases a little.

Enough is relative. All the people he loved who could survive the fire did, and they’re together. They have food and water, and they’re working together. Clarke is by his side, and even if right now, it’s because she has to be, he thinks this could work.

“Cover first,” he says. “And then we find our way back home.”

“Home,” she agrees. “Let’s go.”

*

They’re in a cave, Bellamy trying to break the chain on the cuffs with a rock he found while Clarke watches the rabbit they caught with one eye, when she asks, “Did you think about not coming down?”

“What?” he asks, glancing up at her.

“Focus, Bellamy,” she says, with a small smile. “If you break one of our hands because you’re not paying attention–”

“Then it’ll be because you distracted me. And breaking a hand is an option, to get out.”

“It’s not that bad,” she says, and takes the opportunity to shake out her shoulders, shifting on the ground to get more comfortable. “I was just thinking, about a month after the five-year mark, I started wondering if maybe the Earth looked so bad, you just decided not to come down. I know that’s not what happened,” she adds, before he can say it. “But–was it better up there?”

“No,” he says. “And you wouldn’t have been happier.”

That gets him a dubious look. “No?”

“Maybe you would have,” he grants, inclining his head. “But Madi wouldn’t have made it alone.”

“No, she wouldn’t.”

“You remember how it was on the Ark,” he goes on, putting down his rock to take a break from the fruitless attempts to break the bond between them. “It never felt like living, just killing time until we could get back to the real world. And it was worse, the second time. When we all knew what we were missing. Or at least, most of it,” he adds.

Clarke frowns. “Most of it?”

“We didn’t know you were still down here,” he reminds her, with a small smile. “And it wasn’t like I wanted to stay up there. But–I couldn’t even imagine it. What would Earth even be like if you weren’t being a pain in my ass?”

She laughs, a bright, surprised sound that’s as unexpected and unfamiliar as it is welcome. “I’m sure you’d find someone else to fight with.”

“No one I like as much as you.”

It feels too honest, and when Clarke looks away, he’s sure it was. But she’s smiling when she looks at him again. “I didn’t know what I’d do either, if you didn’t come back down. That was all I had for–”

His hand is so close to hers that it’s easy to reach over, to twine their fingers together. It’s not until he’s done it that he realizes this isn’t normal for him and Clarke, that for all he considers her one of the most important people in his universe, they don’t do this often. Physical contact was as easy as breathing on the Ark, the close quarters and the lack of other people bringing them all close together. But he and Clarke only held hands once that he can recall, when she took the Nightblood in Polis, years and years ago. It felt staggering back then, to have her deman, and now he can’t help feeling as if this was too casual.

But she squeezes his fingers.

“I’m still sorry,” he says. “For making you wait.”

“I know.”

He wets his lips, looking down at their joined hands. “I think we’ll probably need to wait until we’re back to get the handcuffs off. Raven should be able to get them off in half a second.”

“Yeah.”

He looks over at her, but she’s not looking at him, and he doesn’t know what to say again. It was easy, for about ten minutes after they landed, when all they did was hold each other, catching up on how they survived. And then, once he let her go, he found he didn’t know what to say, and she didn’t either.

They’re allies and leaders and friends, but it’s somehow not enough, and he still can’t figure out why.

“I think the rabbit’s done,” he offers, and Clarke looks relieved.

“I think so, yeah.”

Eating is more than a little awkward, since they both keep trying to use their hands as normal, and dragging each other around without remembering what’s going on, but once Clarke starts laughing about it, he relaxes too, and then it’s just another thing for them to deal with, this strangely funny obstacle that keeps tripping them up.

The awkwardness comes back after, when they have to leave the cave to relieve themselves, but that’s nothing compared to when they make it back to the cave, and it’s time to sleep.

“Side by side?” he finally suggests. “I usually sleep on my back.”

Clarke flinches like he struck her, but all she says is, “Yeah, that’s fine.”

The cave floor isn’t particularly comfortable, and even with his eyes closed, he’s too aware of Clarke, the warmth of her shoulder just close enough that he can feel it, like a light’s on in the corner of his vision, keeping him awake.

“Clarke?” he finally asks.

Her response is instantaneous and alert, as if she hadn’t been even close to sleep. “What?”

“I miss you,” he finally admits. “I missed you all the fucking time, and I still miss you, and you’re right here.”

For a second, there’s nothing, just silence so loud it feels like it’s pressing his ears down, and then she rolls, curling into his side, and he brings his free arm up around her, burying his face in her hair.

“Hi,” he says, and she laughs.

“Hi. I miss you too.”

“I used to think about what I’d do if I ever got to see you again,” he admits. “When I wanted to fucking torture myself.”

“And?”

He pulls back, waits until she looks up before he touches her jaw. When she doesn’t shy away, he leans down and she leans in, and the kiss isn’t one he’d ever imagined, on his back in some strange cave, one hand out of commission because it’s cuffed to her, but that’s not really a bad thing. It’s too strange and uncomfortable to be another dream.

Clarke lets out a shaking breath, and he smooths her hair back with his right hand, smiling.

“And I’ve been wanting to do that for almost seven years.”

“Since when, exactly?” she asks, sounding curious.

He smiles. “Hard to tell when it switches over from I guess I’d say yes if she asked to I’m in love with her. I don’t have an exact second.”

Even in the dark, he can see her smile. “But you are.”

“Yeah. I always thought I’d tell you the first chance I got.”

“Well, we haven’t been alone much.” She bites her lip. “I love you too. And I thought you must have–you thought I was dead. I thought you’d moved on, that you wouldn’t need me anymore.”

He kisses her again, will probably never get tired of kissing her. “I got you back,” he says. “It was a fucking miracle.”

They manage to fall asleep, not entirely comfortable but at least close, and when the sun comes up, Clarke is still there, and he still gets to kiss her.

She makes a face, pushing him off. “Your mouth tastes disgusting.”

“But that’s the only problem, right?”

Her smile is even better when there’s enough light for him to see it. “I’d like to get rid of the handcuffs too. Just so I have full use of my hands.”

He laughs, getting to his feet and pulling her up with him. She settles into his arms for a long hug, fitting in like she belongs there, and he kisses her hair one more time before he lets her go.

“So let’s go home and get ourselves fixed up.”

“I think this was the big thing that needed fixing,” she admits, twining her fingers back in his. He hopes they hold hands this much once they’re not stuck together; it feels like they might.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “So let’s go fix everything else.”

“Yeah,” says Clarke. “That sounds like us.”