#i keep forgetting hes so popular
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he thinks he's slick
now on etsy!
#akechi goro#persona 5#shin megami tensei#smt#megaten#the twitter girlies popped off for the wip of this one#i keep forgetting hes so popular
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Rowling isn't denying holocaust. She just pointed out that burning of transgender health books is a lie as that form of cosmetic surgery didn't exist. But of course you knew that already, didn't you?
I was thinking I'd probably see one of you! You're wrong :) Let's review the history a bit, shall we?
In this case, what we're talking about is the Institut fĂŒr Sexualwissenschaft, or in English, The Institute of Sexology. This Institute was founded and headed by a gay Jewish sexologist named Magnus Hirschfeld. It was founded in July of 1919 as the first sexology research clinic in the world, and was run as a private, non-profit clinic. Hirschfeld and the researchers who worked there would give out consultations, medical advice, and even treatments for free to their poorer clientele, as well as give thousands of lectures and build a unique library full of books on gender, sexuality, and eroticism. Of course, being a gay man, Hirschfeld focused a lot on the gay community and proving that homosexuality was natural and could not be "cured".
Hirschfeld was unique in his time because he believed that nobody's gender was either one or the other. Rather, he contended that everyone is a mixture of both male and female, with every individual having their own unique mix of traits.
This leads into the Institute's work with transgender patients. Hirschfeld was actually the one to coin the term "transsexual" in 1923, though this word didn't become popular phrasing until 30 years later when Harry Benjamin began expanding his research (I'll just be shortening it to trans for this brief overview.) For the Institute, their revolutionary work with gay men eventually began to attract other members of the LGBTA+, including of course trans people.
Contrary to what Anon says, sex reassignment surgery was first tested in 1912. It'd already being used on humans throughout Europe during the 1920's by the time a doctor at the Institute named Ludwig Levy-Lenz began performing it on patients in 1931. Hirschfeld was at first opposed, but he came around quickly because it lowered the rate of suicide among their trans patients. Not only was reassignment performed at the Institute, but both facial feminization and facial masculization surgery were also done.
The Institute employed some of these patients, gave them therapy to help with other issues, even gave some of the mentioned surgeries for free to this who could not afford it! They spoke out on their behalf to the public, even getting Berlin police to help them create "transvestite passes" to allow people to dress however they wanted without the threat of being arrested. They worked together to fight the law, including trying to strike down Paragraph 175, which made it illegal to be homosexual. The picture below is from their holiday party, Magnus Hirschfeld being the gentleman on the right with the fabulous mustache. Many of the other people in this photo are transgender.
[Image ID: A black and white photo of a group of people. Some are smiling at the camera, others have serious expressions. Either way, they all seem to be happy. On the right side, an older gentleman in glasses- Magnus Hirschfeld- is sitting. He has short hair and a bushy mustache. He is resting one hand on the shoulder of the person in front of him. His other hand is being held by a person to his left. Another person to his right is holding his shoulder.]
There was always push back against the Institute, especially from conservatives who saw all of this as a bad thing. But conservatism can't stop progress without destroying it. They weren't willing to go that far for a good while. It all ended in March of 1933, when a new Chancellor was elected. The Nazis did not like homosexuals for several reasons. Chief among them, we break the boundaries of "normal" society. Shortly after the election, on May 6th, the book burnings began. The Jewish, gay, and obviously liberal Magnus Hirschfeld and his library of boundary-breaking literature was one of the very first targets. Thankfully, Hirschfeld was spared by virtue of being in Paris at the time (he would die in 1935, before the Nazis were able to invade France). His library wasn't so lucky.
This famous picture of the book burnings was taken after the Institute of Sexology had been raided. That's their books. Literature on so much about sexuality, eroticism, and gender, yes including their new work on trans people. This is the trans community's Alexandria. We're incredibly lucky that enough of it survived for Harry Benjamin and everyone who came after him was able to build on the Institute's work.
[Image ID: A black and white photo of the May Nazi book burning of the Institute of Sexology's library. A soldier, back facing the camera, is throwing a stack of books into the fire. In the background of the right side, a crowd is watching.]
As the Holocaust went on, the homosexuals of Germany became a targeted group. This did include transgender people, no matter what you say. To deny this reality is Holocaust denial. JK Rowling and everyone else who tries to pretend like this isn't reality is participating in that evil. You're agreeing with the Nazis.
But of course, you knew that already, didn't you?
Edit: Added image IDs. I apologize to those using screen readers for forgetting them. Please reblog this version instead.
#transgender#trans history#transsexual#transphobia#Magnus Hirschfeld#holocaust#holocaust denial#book burning#j.k. rowling#jk rowling#just in case you missed what i mean by all this: go fuck yourself anon :)#trans people have always existed#and we will always exist#if you really wanna pick a fight with me over well-documented history then you better bring in some sources to back your shit#queer history#queer#lgbt+#lgbta+#lgbt#lgbt history#edit: i finally got around to those damn image IDs. i am so very sorry for totally forgetting that's my bimbo moment of the month#also real quick i thought about adding an image of the actual building but the only one i can find has a Nazi parade in front of it#it was taken the day of the book burning raid and honestly if i were to include it then i'd add it to the first few paragraphs#and i think the story's better told when you uphold the hope Magnus Hirschfeld and all the researchers he worked with had#also keeps being brought up: yes Hirschfeld was a eugenicist. it was a popular belief set that was only discredited after WW2#Hirschfeld died in 1935. he literally didn't live long enough to see science turn against those beliefs and practices#considering how he changed his mind on transitions i like to think he would've changed his mind on eugenics too if he'd lived
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So I know that Venti drinks wine for the taste and company, but anyway, consider for a moment the idea of alcohol tasting bad for him and yet he'll always take an offer or invite for a drink because it reminds him of the happy times he used to have with his old friends
#alcohol tw#genshin impact#this isn't even a headcanon or au I'm just throwing the idea out there#like Idk personally alcohol tastes terrible for me but I still do end up drinking a lot with friends sometimes#tho that's probably because they tend to do most of the talking and I'm just mostly stealing their food sjxhxkgv#anyway Idk why a lot of people keeps saying Venti drinks to forget as if he isn't trying to invite people every single time#not to mention how he just goes off and stares into the distance with no wine in sight if he's feeling sad#like I get why it's so popular but he very much drinks more to remember and hang out#and also the fact that in-game wine tends to be associated with memories
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"Killing curse green eyes" is a description that should be reserved for a Harry that is an alarmingly few amount of steps away from using said curse.
#So I may have gotten dragged down into#Harry potter#fanfiction#It just kind of happened... I mean I know exactly how#Usually I would do some kind of media analysis but I haven't actually consumed the source material#Still kinda working on the my student spirit one but it's been thrown into the pile a bit.#I may talk about my preferences in harry potter fanfic though. What I find interesting and such#That would in a sense be more general tropes I think. Not necessarily Harry Potter.#I would say though. Would love to read some of the scenes of fake Moody teaching illegal magic to kids.#Like imagine a terrorist who silently escaped prison became a chemistry teacher and showed the kids how to build bombs#and somehow was like the next best chemistry teacher they've had as the position keep getting replaced every year#That's the best analogy I can come up with. I just think it's hilarious and I would've liked to see more of it.#I imagine he would so try to teach the seven year Slytherins all three unforgivables if I got the chance to#And if he could get away with it he would so put the kids under the crutio for a bit as well#saying something along the lines of âThey have to know what it feels like for real. Know how debilitating it really is.â#I don't think he'd get away with it. But he would probably try to see he could. test the waters with the staff a bit#I guess that's all about the canon though#I found a wonderful youtube video talking about Draco that I really liked as well. Popular fandom reception of him is...#He's kind of a spoiled ignorant bigot. People tend to forget that because#he regretted his empty words when the weight of them and reality backslapped him across the face.
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seeing red bathroom scene they just took it so far and its not something that ever needs to be depicted i got uncomfortable enough in the episodes where a guy kills their (ex-)girlfriend the way its discussed afterwards and constany recapped and yet the narrative expects us to just move forward its all handled so badly that was not executed the way they wanted it to be and yes i'll say it feels out of character or at least inconsistent
#If it rly is that it came from a female writer's personal anecdote of a bad decision she made then give the plot point to anya idgi#it was like show spike is evil so he goes and gets a soul but you've traumatised your cast audience and characters#soooo many other ways same w tara's manner of dying god terribly executed lynchpin episode đ#frankly i think the thing to do is put dawn in danger... via a wish if needed i think dawn is everything#spike is so inconsistent bc its like joss hating that he ruined his cut and dry vampires vs he is popular with audience vs But He's Evil#they just forget to make him evil bc they keep giving him emotions like wanting to save the world#idk generally the show has these ideas of love and sex that rly do not settle with me
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The person who used to be in this office has NOT been here for the past week or two Iâve been here and people keep coming to find him but itâs just me
#chatterye#I keep forgetting his name too#so theyâre like xxx and Iâm like ??????? uhhh#theyâre right btw itâs the guy#he just hasnât been here#heâs very popular HAHA#also people are like is this the xx dpt but like#it is but it isnât⊠itâs complicatedâŠ
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Okay making my bet. Vivi is with the revolutionary army
#watching episodes again as a reminder for tomorrow for when i keep going.... its been nearly a month :')#also is sabo gonna take over dragon now that he is more popular??. lmao#btw sabo didnt kill cobra i am sure he took vivi for protection and she followed bc he is luffys brother#i still dont get shanks going for the one piece... did he want some friendly competition???? wth... i am telling you he is evil#also momo doesnt know about the poneglyph or pluton but he has his fathers diaries and his grandfather knows the complete opposite...#we are never making it to the new era like this ....#i still cant figure out what the one piece being in wano means like what..... bc momo is like a paralel to luffy and then being able to hear#each other.... and yamato too... like its too important.... omg uta cannon...... well now i know... also yamato i missed you....#also..... the man with the scar also... see i forgor about that... what does law know...#also i know luffy was crying when saying goodbye to tama.. thats why he didn't turn around.. this is like the truest thing i have ever said#also also what did chopper make for bepo??? what did robin suspect about law... crying again... goddamn it momo...#momo and vivi monarch nakamas.... shirahoshi princess associate and yamato nakama in training.... i know it...#didnt forget how good this was but like damn it is so good.... 1086 tomorrow letsgo#talking tag#watching one piece
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you know that thing of when you finish a book series that you found deeply mediocre but then you go in the tag and find out that everyone in the entire world except you loved it
#a.txt#i feel like this happens with fandom stuff a lot where ppl ignore the quality of the plot/writing/etc bc they like the characters? or smth#in this one specifically the pacing is so awful and there's expo dumps every three seconds. the author is constantly reminding me of things#i already knew. the dialogue is stilted and sounds like what you think the victorians talked like without actually reading any victorian#lit. deuteragonists introduced in the first book are immediately sidelined by a massive onslaught of one off side characters and flattened#into hollow executions of singular personality traits. minor plot events are recycled multiple times a book in every book and yet no one#seems to anticipate it happening. the author keeps forgetting random details about characters he himself wrote. plot breadcrumbs#are dropped and then go nowhere because author probably forgot about those too. all this and more in redacted.#i'm like 99.9% sure people are so blinded by the popular gay ship that has like zero evidence in the ENTIRE series that they just don't see#how fucking bad these books are
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Ok. Sskk got me
#me season 1: god why is this ship so popular I hate ak*tug away he keeps on trying to murder my boy!!! and heâs so mean!!! and homicidL!#did i forget I am on the âlove and attempted murder go hand in hand websiteâŠâ#did I forget I have a âletâs try to kill each other and die for each otherâ brain#anyway I care them#âŠ.. the fics Iâve read so far (as of today) are mostly really ooc thoughâŠ..
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ïč đŹ ïč ââââUH OH, IâM FALLING IN LOVE.
đąYPNOSiS. you and heeseung have been rivals for as long as you could remember, constantly competing for the top spot in schoolâbasically everything. living next door to each other only added to the fire, the tension between you, especially when heeseungâs cocky aura never seems to waver. but one single encounter shifts the entire dynamic, leading to confusing emotions arising, jealousy, and new surprising revelations. what happens when rivalry starts to feel like itâs growing into something more?
àšà§ đAiRING. academic rival! lee heeseung x fem! reader, e2l, platonic jake sim! x reader.
àšà§ đENRE. frenemies to enemies to lovers trope, neighbours trope, slowburnish, she fell first, he fell harder, angst but vv happy & fluffy ending!! non!idol au.
àšà§ WARNiNGS. profanities, mean girl harassing yn, slight miscommunications, overthinking, heeseungsâ unfortunately vv dumb T-T, kissing, jealousy, insecurities, not proofread so expect spelling errors :3!!
àšà§ WORD COUNT. 10,283 | 10.2K
đđđđŹđiđŠđ§ ïč labyrinth, taylor swift, let the light in, lana del rey, white mustang, lana del rey, i love you, iâm sorry, gracie abrams, nobody gets me, sza, fishtail, lana del rey, bel air, lana del rey, intro (end of the world), ariana grande, daydreaminâ, ariana grande.
NOTE. after three days itâs finally complete:3 this is my first 10k+ work and iâm really proud of it!! feedback is always appreciated<3 ig this is another (late) birthday post for heeseung bc ilhsm!! ă
ă
LiBRARY | © won4kiss all rights reserved
YOU HAVE ALWAYS HATED LEE HEESEUNG IN ALL YOUR YEARS OF LIVING.
or at least, thatâs what you told yourself after your crush on him in freshman year, long before he decided he didnât wanna be friends anymoreâeveryday as you stared at the back of his head in class, as you watched him stride confidently down the halls, or caught a glimpse of him outside your window, you knew you hated him.
it wasnât hatred in the traditional sense, but rather an intense, gnawing resentment that had grown over the years.
he was your biggest rivalâhad been since childhood.
every achievement, every reward you earned, was always tainted by the fact that heeseung was right there, just a step ahead or a breath behind, competing with you for the same crown.
for as long as you could remember, it had been you and heeseung battling for the title of ânumber 1â in everything.
academics, sports, student councilâif there was something to win, one of you would, and the other would be left second place, seething with anger.
you both knew it, and so did the rest of the schoolâthe rivalry between the two of you was practically legendary.
and it didnât help that you were neighbors.
from your bedroom window, you had a perfect view into heeseungâs room.
the distance between the two houses was just a few meters, and if you opened your windows at the same time, you could practically hear each other breathing.
there were nights when you could see the dim glow of his desk lamp as he studied late into the eveningâno doubt working just as hard as you were, trying to maintain his title over you.
heeseung was infuriating, cocky, arrogant, andâworst of allâtalented.
it wasnât enough that he was smartâhe was also athletic, charismatic, and effortlessly incredibly popular.
heâd never let you forget it, either, there wasnât a day that passed without him throwing a smug comment your way about how heâd beat you in the last exam or how he scored higher in a math test by a single point.
âyou almost had me that time,â heâd say with a smirk, as if being second place wasnât a knife in your chest.
so, naturally, youâd responded in a way anyone else would, throwing curses and insults his way whenever you could.
it was a defense mechanism, a way to keep the bitter rivalry alive.
but deep down, you had to admit, there was something almost exciting about it.
heeseung pushed you to be better, to work harderâand while you loathed the look he gave you every time he won, there was something about his presence that you couldnât quite shake off.
then, one morning, everything changed.
it was a normal tuesday, and you were getting ready for school as usual.
the sun was barely rising, casting a soft golden light into your room.
you were standing in front of your mirror, adjusting your uniform, when something caught your eye from the windowâmore specifically, someone.
heeseung.
at first, you didnât think much of itâafter all, his window was right across from yours, and youâd seen him countless times getting ready for the day.
but then you realizedâhe wasnât just standing there, he was shirtless.
your heart skipped a beatâyou froze, eyes wide, as you took in the sight of him.
his hair was still messy from his slumber, and his skin was glowing softly in the glow of the morning light.
youâd never really thought about heeseung in any way other than as your obnoxious rival, but seeing him like thisâbare and vulnerableâyou couldnât deny that it did something to you.
you tried to tear your eyes away, but for some reason, you couldnât.
you felt your cheeks grow hot as you stood there, practically staring at him.
and thatâs when he turned his head.
he caught you.
heeseungâs eyes flickered toward your window, and for a split second, you thought maybeâjust maybeâhe wouldnât notice.
but then his lips curled into that familiar smirk, the one that always made you want to punch him, and he raised an eyebrow.
slowly, he stepped closer to the window, clearly amused by the fact that youâd been caught staring.
your heart hammered in your chest, this was the most mortifying moment of your life.
before you could react, heeseung opened his window, pushing it up with a soft creak.
his smirk widened as he leaned against the windowsill, his bare chest still on full display.
and then, he did something you didnât expectâhe motioned for you to open your window.
for a moment, you just stood there, frozen in place, unsure of what to do.
every fiber of your being screamed at you to ignore him, to pretend this never happened.
but there was something about the way he was looking at youâsomething playful, something almost⊠flirty? it sent your brain into a whirlwind of confusion.
with shaky hands, you hesitated, then slowly cracked open your window, just enough to hear him.
âwhat? did you enjoy the view?â he asked, his voice dripping with amusement.
your face flushed even hotterâthis was not happening. lee heeseung was flirting with you?
he had never flirted with you beforeâhe was usually busy insulting you or trying to one-up you.
but now? now he was standing there, shirtless, with that stupid grin on his face, teasing you like this was some kind of game.
âiâwhat are you even talking about?â you stammered, trying desperately to regain some sense of control. âi wasnât staring, freak!â
heeseung chuckled softly, the sound sending an unexpected shiver down your spine.
âsure, you werenât. itâs okay to admit it, you know? i get it. i am pretty hard to resist.â
you gaped at him, utterly speechles, was this really happening? was he seriously being⊠flirty?
your brain couldnât handle itâwithout thinking, you slammed your window shut, the sound echoing through the quiet morning air.
your heart was racing as you quickly yanked the blinds down, cutting off any possibility of him seeing your red, embarrassed face.
you leaned back against the wall, your hand pressed to your chest as you tried to calm down.
what the hell just happened? was this some new tactic of his to throw you off your game? to mess with your head right before exams?
or⊠was it something else entirely?
for the first time in years, you found yourself truly confused about lee heeseung, and that terrified you.
you tried to push the incident out of your mind, but it clung to your thoughts like a stubborn stain you couldnât scrub away.
that strange encounter with heeseung left you feeling unsettled, his cocky grin and the way his eyes lingered on you making you feel things you didnât want to acknowledge.
flirting. it was definitely flirting. but why? what was his angle?
in the days that followed, things got even weirder.
heeseung, your sworn academic rival, the bane of your existence, had suddenly⊠softened.
the mean remarks, the casual tauntsâgone.
instead, heâd been acting almost⊠considerate?
you noticed it first when you were walking into class one morning, arms full with textbooks and a coffee in hand.
normally, heeseung would be the first to slip in front of you and let the door slam shut in your faceâjust to get under your skin, of course.
but that morning, he held the door open for you, his eyes meeting yours briefly as he gave you a small nod.
âthanks,â you mumbled, confused but too caught off guard to say anything more.
he didnât say anything eitherâno smug response, no condescending smile.
he just let you walk through the door and quietly followed you inside. the whole thing was⊠unnerving.
then, during class, he didnât try to one-up you during discussions, didnât toss his usual gloating looks your way when he answered a question right before you could.
he was just sitting there, minding his own business.
you couldnât understand it. this wasnât the heeseung you knewâthe heeseung youâd spent years battling, exchanging insults, and outdoing each other.
this version of him, quiet and strangely kind, threw you off balance, and it only got worse.
in the hallways, heeseung started greeting.
not with his usual sarcasm, but with a simple, âhey.â sometimes, heâd even smile at youâan actual smile, not that infuriating smirk he usually wore.
you didnât know what to do with it. your brain felt like it was short-circuiting every time he looked at you, like you couldnât reconcile this new heeseung with the one who had spent years making your blood boil.
it wasnât just you who noticed the change, eitherâyour friends started giving you weird looks every time heeseung passed by without some snarky comment.
one day, your friend mina leaned over during lunch and whispered, âwhatâs up with heeseung? heâs been acting like⊠different lately.â
âi donât know,â you muttered, stabbing at your food with more force than necessary. âmaybe heâs finally grown up.â mina raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced.
âor maybe heâs just tired of pretending to hate you.â
you nearly choked on your drink. âwhat?â
âcome on,â mina said, smirking. âitâs obvious. heeseungâs been obsessed with you for years. heâs probably just finally figured out that he actually likes you.â
you scoffed, shaking your head. âthatâs ridiculous. heeseung hates me. weâve been rivals since we were kids.â
mina shrugged. ârivals, sure. but that doesnât mean he hates you. sometimes people use rivalry as an excuse to get close to someone.â
you didnât want to believe it. you couldnât believe it. heeseung liking you? it made no sense.
he was obnoxious, arrogant, and had made your life hell for years.
there was no way he suddenly had feelings for you. no. it was all some gameâsome twisted strategy to throw you off your game. right?
but then there was that nagging feeling deep inside, the one you didnât want to acknowledgeâ the same ones you felt not too many years ago.
the one that kept reminding you of how your heart had skipped a beat when you saw him shirtless through the window.
how your pulse quickened every time he smiled at you now, even if you hated to admit it.
the realization was creeping in slowly, like a slow, dread filled idea building in your chest.
the truth was, heeseung had always been more than just your rival. heâd always been the one person who could get under your skin in ways no one else could.
and maybe, there was something thereâsomething that went beyond the rivalry.
but before you could make sense of it, everything had changed again.
a few days later, you noticed a new face in school.
she was strikingâtall, with long, dark hair and a bright smile that seemed to light up the room.
she moved through the hallways with an air of confidence, making friends effortlessly.
within days, it felt like everyone knew her nameâyou quickly learned her name too: haerin.
at first, you didnât pay much attention to her.
she was new, sure, but you had more important things to worry aboutâlike the upcoming exams.
but then you noticed something that made your stomach twist in a way you couldnât explain.
heeseung was spending time with herâa lot of time.
you saw them together between classes, walking side by side, talking and laughing.
heeseung, who had been oddly nice to you lately, now seemed to be focusing all his attention on this new girl.
it was subtle at firstâjust casual conversations, a friendly smile here and thereâbut soon, you started seeing them together all the time.
and it wasnât just their proximity that bothered you. it was the way they were so⊠touchy.
heeseung would lean in close when he talked to her, his hand brushing her arm casually as he laughed at something she said.
sheâd playfully nudge him back, her eyes sparkling.
it was the kind of easy, natural closeness that made you feel sick to your stomach.
jealousy was a foreign emotion for youâespecially when it came to lee heeseung.
youâd never thought youâd care about who he spent time withâbut seeing him with haerin, seeing how comfortable they were together, made something ugly and bitter rise in your chest.
you couldnât shake the feeling that you were being replaced.
that whatever strange connection you and heeseung had been developing was being overshadowed by this new girl.
as much as you tried to ignore it, the jealousy gnawed at you.
you couldnât help but compare yourself to haerinâshe was charming, effortlessly likable.
she fit in with heeseungâs world in a way that you never could.
you were his rival, his equal in competition, but haerin? she was someone who made him smile without the sharp edges.
you hated it. hated how it made you feel. hated how you started to question if heeseung had ever really changed at all, or if he had just been playing some long game with you.
days passed, and heeseungâs attention on haerin only seemed to grow.
they were inseparable now, and every time you saw them together, your heart clenched painfully.
the worst part was, heeseung barely even looked at you anymore.
he had stopped greeting you in the hallways, stopped holding the door for you, stopped leaving those lingering glances that had started to make your stomach flip.
it felt like you were disappearing from his world.
but maybe that was for the best, you thoughtâmaybe heeseung was never meant to be anything more than your rival.
and maybe you were just fooling yourself into thinking there could be something more.
you had always prided yourself on your confidence.
in all the years you spent locked in competition with heeseung, youâd never doubted your abilities.
sure, he was goodâannoyingly goodâbut so were you.
you matched him step for step, beat him sometimes, and when you didnât, you got back up, ready to fight again.
but now, something was shifting, and it had nothing to do with grades or exams.
it had everything to do with haerin.
insecurity was new for you, but it was impossible to ignore, everywhere you looked, she was thereâlaughing with heeseung, brushing against him like theyâd known each other for years, not just a couple of weeks.
they were so casual with each other, so comfortable.
you told yourself it didnât matter, that heeseungâs friendships didnât affect you.
but it did. it was starting to eat away at you, piece by piece.
what was worse was that you found yourself wondering why it wasnât you.
why had heeseung been so kind to you one minute and then completely shifted his attention to someone else?
had all those smiles, those lingering glances, meant nothing? maybe youâd misread everything.
maybe it had never been anything more than a temporary truce in your endless battle.
but no matter how much you tried to brush it off, the truth was impossible to denyâyou were jealous.
you hated that it felt like haerin was taking your place in heeseungâs life.
you hated the way she made him laugh so easilyâand most of all, you hated how small and insignificant it made you feel.
and then came the final straw.
it was a friday afternoon, the cafeteria bustling with noise as students crowded around tables for lunch.
you were sitting with your usual group, mina chatting about some drama sheâd seen on tv, but your attention was elsewhereâlocked on the sight of heeseung and haerin across the room.
they were sitting together, as usualâhaerin was leaning in close, whispering something that made heeseung throw his head back in laughter.
your chest tightened at the sightâyou tried to look away, to focus on minaâs story, but it was impossible.
that green, bitter feeling of jealousy twisted in your stomach, making you feel sick.
âare you even listening?â minaâs voice broke through your thoughts, and you blinked, turning back to her.
âyeah, sorry,â you muttered, forcing a smile. âjust⊠tired, i guess.â
mina raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced, but before she could say anything, someone approached your table.
it was haerin.
you looked up, startled to see her standing there with a carton of milk in hand, a sweet smile on her face.
but there was something about her expression that felt⊠off.
her eyes gleamed with a certain smugness that sent warning bells ringing in your mind.
âoopsââ haerinâs voice was sickeningly sweet as she âaccidentallyâ tipped the milk carton over, sending the liquid spilling across the table and right into your lap.
your entire body stiffened as the cold milk soaked through your clothes, shock momentarily paralyzing you.
the cafeteria seemed to go quiet around you as everyone turned to look at the scene unfolding.
haerinâs smile didnât waver for a second.
âoh my god, iâm so sorry!â she exclaimed, though there wasnât a trace of sincerity in her voice. âthat was totally an accident!â
you could feel your pulse pounding in your ears as your mind raced to process what had just happened.
the milk was cold, seeping into your uniform, but that was the least of your concerns.
you knew it wasnât an accident. haerin had done it on purpose, and judging by the look in her eyes, she wanted to humiliate you in front of everyone.
for a second, you felt frozenâthe room was watching, the sound of whispers starting to make its way through the crowd as they waited to see what you would do.
âit wasnât an accident,â you said, your voice sharp and louder than you intended.
you stood up abruptly, glaring at haerin. âyou did that on purpose.â
haerinâs smile didnât falterâshe tilted her head, feigning innocence as she blinked at you.
âi donât know what youâre talking about. it was just an accident, really. no need to get so upset.â
the fake sweetness in her voice set your teeth on edge.
anger bubbled up in your chest, mixing with the hurt and insecurity youâd been bottling up for days.
âthatâs a lie,â you snapped. âyouâve been trying to mess with me since you got here.â
the whispers around you grew louder as people leaned in, watching the confrontation unfold.
haerinâs eyes flickered with amusement, but before you could say anything else, a familiar voice cut through the tension.
âhey, whatâs going on here?â
you turned to see heeseung standing a few steps away, his brows furrowed in confusion as he looked between you and haerin.
for a moment, relief washed over you. heeseung had seen everything, right? heâd understand what was happening, and for once, heâd take your side.
but then haerin turned her wide, innocent eyes on him, her lower lip jutting out in a perfect pout.
âi accidentally spilled milk on her,â she said, her voice soft. âbut she thinks i did it on purpose. i donât know why sheâs so madâŠâ
you watched in disbelief as heeseungâs expression softened.
he glanced at you, but there was no anger in his eyesâonly frustration.
âcome on,â he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. âit was an accident. donât make a big deal out of it.â
your heart sank.
you couldnât believe what you were hearingâheeseung was taking her side? after everything youâd been through, after all the strange kindness heâd shown you in the past few days, he was choosing to believe her over you?
âthatâs not what happened!â you shouted, your voice breaking with frustration. âshe did it on purpose! you sawââ
âjust drop it,â heeseung said, cutting you offâhis tone was tired, as if this whole situation was just an inconvenience to him.
âyouâre seriously overreacting.â
the words hit you like a punch to the gut. overreacting? he was dismissing youâagain.
something in you snappedâwithout another word, you turned on your heel and bolted from the cafeteria, ignoring the whispers and stares that followed.
the humiliation, the betrayalâit was too much to bear.
you found yourself in the empty janitorâs room, the quiet darkness swallowing you whole.
you slid down the wall, burying your face in your hands as the tears finally came.
everything hurtâyour pride, your heart, and the foolish hope youâd had that heeseung might actually care about you.
the cold, dim room was silent, except for your quiet sobs.
you tried to keep them in, biting your lip, but the tears just kept coming.
your hands trembled as they gripped your knees, pulling yourself into a ball on the floor of the empty janitorâs room.
it was the only place you could think to hide, the only place where no one would find you in this humiliating state.
you couldnât believe how things had turned outâeverything was a mess.
not just the milk soaking into your uniform, but the betrayal from heeseung, the stupid jealousy you felt toward haerin, and the way the entire cafeteria had seen you break down.
your head spun with anger and sadness, and no matter how hard you tried to calm yourself, the tears kept flowing.
then, there was a soft knock on the door.
you stiffened, wiping your face furiously with the back of your sleeve.
whoever it was, you didnât want them to see you like this.
but before you could pull yourself together, the door creaked open, and a familiar figure stepped inside.
âhey⊠are you okay?â
jake sim?
you blinked up at him, confused, you hadnât expected anyone to come looking for you, least of all jakeâheeseungâs rival on the basketball court and someone youâd barely spoken to outside of class.
he closed the door behind him, giving you a soft, understanding smile as he crouched down in front of you.
you sniffed, quickly wiping the remaining tears from your cheeks.
âwhat are you doing here?â you asked, your voice still shaky. jake shrugged, sitting down beside you on the cold floor.
âi saw what happened in the cafeteria. i figured you might want to be alone, but⊠i also thought you could use some company.â
you looked away, embarrassed that heâd witnessed everythingâthe last thing you wanted was for anyone to see you like this, but at the same time, the quiet sympathy in his voice was oddly comforting.
âi donât need company,â you muttered, but the words lacked conviction.
jake chuckled softly. âmaybe not, but iâm staying anyway.â for a few moments, neither of you said anything.
jake sat beside you in silence, giving you space to collect your thoughtsâit was strange how easy it felt to be around him.
even though youâd never been particularly close, his presence wasnât overwhelming or intrusive. it was just⊠there, solid and dependable.
finally, you sighed, leaning your head back against the wall. âit was her,â you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper.
âhaerin. she did it on purpose.â
jake nodded. âi figured. sheâs been hanging around heeseung a lot lately. guess she thought picking a fight with you would get her more attention.â
you clenched your fists, feeling the anger bubble up again. âand heeseung⊠he just believed her. he didnât even listen to me. he just⊠told me to drop it, like it didnât matter.â
jake was silent for a moment, then sighed, running a hand through his hair.
âyeah, that wasnât cool of him. i donât know whatâs going on with heeseung, but what he did today was wrong. you deserved better than that.â
the simple validation of your feelings made something inside you crack open.
you hadnât realized how much you needed to hear thatâhow much you needed someone to understand what you were going through.
âthank you,â you whispered, your voice barely audible.
jake smiled at you, the kind of smile that felt genuine and warm. âanytime.â
for a while, you sat there in silence, letting the tension of the day slowly nib away in jakeâs quiet company.
it was strangeâthis was the first real conversation youâd ever had with him, but somehow, it felt like youâd known him for longer.
there was no awkwardness, no pressure to fill the silence with unnecessary words. he was just⊠there.
after a while, you finally spoke again. âwhy are you being so nice to me?â you asked, glancing at him from the corner of your eye.
jake chuckled softly. âis it that surprising?â
âa little,â you admitted. âi mean, weâve never really talked before.â
he nodded thoughtfully. âtrue, but iâve seen you around. weâre in the same class, and youâre heeseungâs biggest rival. i guess i always admired how you handled him.â
you raised an eyebrow, surprised. âadmired?â
âyeah,â he said with a smile. âheeseung can be a lot to deal with, but you never back down. youâre tough, and youâre not afraid to butt heads with him. thatâs not something everyone can do.â
you blinked, taken aback by the sincerity in his voice.
no one had ever put it that way beforeâmost people saw your rivalry with heeseung as petty or competitive, but jake seemed to see something more.
something you hadnât even realized about yourself.
âthanks,â you murmured, unsure of what else to say.
jake gave you another easy smile. âno problem. and hey, if you ever need someone to vent to, iâm here. heeseung might be my rival on the court, but that doesnât mean iâm on his side when it comes to this.â
for the first time all day, you felt a small, genuine smile tug at your lips.
jakeâs kindness, his quiet reassurance, was exactly what you needed.
he didnât try to fix everything or offer empty words of comfort. he just listened, and somehow, that made all the difference.
âthanks, jake,â you said softly. âi really do appreciate it.â
âanytime,â he replied with a grin, standing up and offering you a hand to help you off the floor.
you hesitated for a moment, then took it, letting him pull you to your feet.
as you both made your way out of the janitorâs room, you couldnât help but feel a little lighter, like some of the weight on your chest had lifted.
jakeâs unexpected kindness had done more to heal the hurt than youâd expected.
and as you walked side by side back to class, you realized that maybe, this was the beginning of a new friendship.
over the next few days, something unexpected happenedâyou found yourself spending more time with jake.
jake made everything feel a little easier, a little lighter, and you didnât feel the constant pressure to put up walls around him.
at first, it was just small moments here and there, like passing each other in the hallways and exchanging knowing smiles, or sitting together during lunch when mina was busy.
with jake, there were no mind games, no intense competition, and definitely no betrayal.
the first time you laughed with him in class, you almost forgot the sting of what had happened with heeseungâalmost.
it was small things at first. jake would crack a joke when you were feeling down, or lean over during study periods to ask a random question that had nothing to do with school but everything to do with making you smile.
he had this easygoing charm about him, the kind that made it impossible to stay mad or sad for long.
and, of course, heeseung noticed.
it was hard not to. you and jake had started walking to and from classes together, and every time heeseung passed by, you could feel his eyes on you.
he didnât say anything at first, but there was something in the way he looked at you that made your skin prickleâlike he was trying to figure something out, something that was just out of his reach.
one afternoon, you were sitting with jake outside, taking in the rare moment of sunshine between classes.
jake had just told a terrible joke, the kind that made you laugh even though it was ridiculous, and you couldnât help but lean into him, playfully nudging his shoulder.
âreally, jake? thatâs the best youâve got?â you teased, wiping a tear from the corner of your eye as your laughter faded.
âhey, i donât see you coming up with anything better,â he shot back, grinning.
his smile was infectious, and you felt a warm comfort wash over you.
it was nice, being able to relax like thisâsomething you hadnât realized you needed until now.
but then, out of the corner of your eye, you saw him.
heeseung stood a few feet away, watching you and jake with a look that was hard to read.
his jaw was clenched, his eyes narrowed slightly, and for a moment, you couldâve sworn you saw something close to frustration flash across his face.
you immediately straightened up, the laughter dying in your throat as you met his gaze.
heeseung didnât move, didnât say anything, but the tension between the three of you was thick.
jake noticed too, his smile fading slightly as he glanced between you and heeseung, clearly picking up on the strange energy.
âheeseung,â jake greeted casually, though his tone was a little less cheerful than before. âyou need something?â
heeseungâs eyes flickered from jake to you, and for a brief second, you saw something in themâsomething sharp and raw.
he shook his head, his expression unreadable. âno,â he muttered, stuffing his hands in his pockets. âjust passing by.â
you bit the inside of your cheek, unsure of what to say.
there was an awkwardness in the air, a tension that hadnât been there before, and you couldnât help but feel like something unspoken was simmering beneath the surface.
but before you could figure out what it was, heeseung turned and walked away without another word, leaving you and jake in a strange, uncomfortable silence.
jake sighed, running a hand through his hair. âheeseung sure knows how to kill a vibe, huh?â
you tried to laugh, but it came out weak and forced. âyeahâŠâ
but your mind was already elsewhereâon the look in heeseungâs eyes, the way his shoulders had tensed when he saw you and jake laughing together.
heeseung had never been one to back down from anything, but now it seemed like he was avoiding you.
and it didnât make senseâone minute, he was pushing your buttons, flirting with you through the window, and the next, he was⊠distant. cold.
you couldnât shake the feeling that something had shifted between you two, and you didnât know how to fix it.
worse, you didnât even know if you wanted to.
that night, as you sat at your desk pretending to study, you caught a flicker of movement outside your window.
your heart skipped a beat, and before you could stop yourself, you glanced over to see heeseungâs figure illuminated in the soft glow of his desk lamp.
your eyes locked for a moment.
then, heeseung did something that took you completely by surprise.
he reached down, grabbed something from the floor, and with a flick of his wrist, tossed a small rock at your window.
it hit with a soft tap, not loud enough to startle you, but enough to catch your attention.
you hesitated, unsure of what he wanted.
heeseung hadnât thrown rocks at your window since you were kids, back when your rivalry was less serious and more playfulâ back when you could actually call lee heeseung one of your best friends.
now, the gesture felt strangeâalmost nostalgic in a way that made your chest tighten.
still, you couldnât ignore himâyou pushed the window up, letting in the cool evening air, and leaned out slightly, your voice low as you called over to him.
âwhat do you want?â
heeseungâs face was mostly in shadow, but you could see the tension in his jaw, the way his fingers gripped the edge of his window as if he was holding something back.
âi need to talk to you,â he said, his voice quieter than you expected. ânow.â
you frowned, your heartbeat quickening. âabout what?â
âjust open your window,â he muttered, his voice strained. there was something different in his toneâsomething vulnerable, almost desperate.
it wasnât like the confident, cocky heeseung you knew. and that was what made you hesitate.
but after a long pause, you sighed and opened the window a little wider, waiting for whatever he had to say.
you stood at your window, the cool night air brushing against your skin, as heeseungâs figure shifted in his room across from yours.
he was still gripping the windowsill, his posture stiff and tense.
the silence between you stretched, uncomfortable and heavy, until finally, you couldnât take it anymore.
âwhat do you want, heeseung?â you asked, your voice coming out sharper than you intended.
the wound from the cafeteria incident was still fresh, the memory of him siding with haerin burning in your chest.
for a second, heeseung didnât respond, his lips pressed into a thin line, his jaw clenched tight as if he was struggling with what to say.
then, finally, he let out a long breath, and his shoulders slumped, just a little.
âwhy are you hanging out with jake?â he asked, his voice low and strained.
you blinked, caught off guard by the question. âwhat?â
heeseungâs hand ran through his hair in frustration.
âjake. youâve been hanging out with him a lot lately. laughing with him, spending time with himâŠâ his voice trailed off, and when his eyes met yours again, there was a flash of something vulnerable in themâsomething you hadnât seen before. âwhy him?â
anger flared inside youâafter everything that had happened, after he had humiliated you in front of everyone, this was what he cared about? who you were spending time with?
âwhy does it matter?â you snapped, crossing your arms over your chest. âwhat, youâre allowed to spend all your time with haerin, but i canât hang out with jake?â
heeseung winced at the mention of haerin, but he didnât back down.
âthatâs not what this is aboutââ
âthen what is it about?â you shot back, your voice rising with frustration. âbecause from where iâm standing, it seems like youâre just jealous.â
heeseungâs eyes widened slightly, like he hadnât expected you to say it out loud. âjealous? of jake?â
âyeah,â you said, glaring at him. âyou have no right to question who i spend time with. especially after what you did.â
his brows furrowed in confusion. âwhat are you talking about?â
âthe cafeteria, heeseung!â you practically shouted, the hurt finally spilling over.
âyou took haerinâs side, you embarrassed me in front of everyone, and you didnât even bother to hear me out! and now, youâre mad because iâve been hanging out with jake? after you made it pretty clear you donât care about me at all?â
the words came out harsher than you intended, but once they were out, there was no taking them back.
the raw truth of how much heeseung had hurt you was now laid bare between the two of you, hanging in the air like a thick fog.
heeseungâs expression crumpled. for a moment, he looked utterly lost, his eyes wide with regret and something close to panic.
âiââ he opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out.
his throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, his eyes darting away from yours. âi didnât know. i didnât realizeâŠâ
you let out a bitter laugh, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes.
âof course you didnât heeseung, youâve been too busy with haerin to notice.â
heeseungâs face twisted with frustration. âitâs not like that with her.â
âreally? because it sure seems like it.â your voice was trembling now, the emotional weight of everything threatening to crush you.
âyouâre always with her. you donât even look at me anymore. and when you did have the chance to stand up for me, you didnât. you humiliated me, heeseung. and you didnât care.â
the words hit him like a slap. you could see it in the way his eyes widened, how his hands balled into fists at his sides.
heeseung took a step closer to the window, his voice quieter now, almost pleading. âyou think i didnât care?â
you stayed silent, your heart pounding in your chest.
heeseungâs jaw clenched, and then, in a voice barely above a whisper, he said, âiâve been an idiot. i know that now.â his eyes were locked on yours, and for the first time, you could see the depth of his regret.
âyouâre right. i didnât stand up for you, and i should have. i hurt you, and i hate that i did. but itâs becauseâŠâ
he hesitated, the words catching in his throat.
âitâs because iâve been trying so hard to ignore how i feel about you,â he finally confessed, his voice thick with anxiety.
âiâve spent so long thinking of you as my friendâthen my rival and enemy, as someone i had to beat, that i didnât realize⊠i didnât want to admit that it was more than that.â
your breath caught in your throat.
âiâve been feeling oddâweird around you for a long time,â heeseung continued, his voice cracking slightly.
âbut i didnât know how to deal with it. i pushed you away, acted like a jerk because i was scared. and then haerin showed up, and i thought if i focused on her, maybe i could forget about youâget rid of this feeling, but i couldnât.â
tears welled up in your eyes, and you blinked them away, refusing to let them fall.
you wanted to be angry, wanted to hold on to that hurt and betrayal, but hearing heeseungâs voice crack with vulnerability made it harder.
his words, the way he looked at you, made you feel things you had been trying to deny for so long.
âbut why didnât you defend me?â you asked, your voice breaking.
heeseungâs expression crumpled. âi donât know,â he whispered. âi was stupid. i thought if i stayed out of it, it would just go away. but it didnât. and now iâve ruined everything.â
you stared at him for a long moment, your heart aching with the weight of it all.
heeseung was standing there, tears welling in his own eyes, and for the first time in all the years youâd known him, he looked completely vulnerable.
âi donât know if i can forgive you,â you whispered, your voice trembling. ânot right now.â
heeseung nodded, his lips pressed tightly together as he swallowed hard.
âi understand,â he said softly. âbut please⊠donât shut me out.â
without another word, you shut your window, turning your back on him and collapsing onto your bed, emotions swirling inside you.
even though you had closed the window on him, part of you still wanted to reach out.
the next morning, you woke up feeling emotionally drained.
the conversation with heeseung played over and over in your mind like a broken record player, his voice echoing in your head, repeating those words.
âiâve liked you for a long time.ââyou had wanted to be angry, to stay angry, but now, all you felt was confusion.
did it even matter? heâd hurt you, after all.
that shouldâve been enough to keep the walls youâd built between the two of you intact.
but something inside you had softened at seeing him so vulnerable, so broken.
youâd seen a side of him you werenât sure anyone else had ever seen.
as you made your way to school, you told yourself that things would go back to normal.
youâd ignore heeseung like you always did, keep your distance, and focus on the things that matteredâyour studies, your friendship with jake, anything but heeseung.
but the moment you walked into the classroom, all of that went out the window.
there, sitting on your desk, was a small carton of strawberry milkâyour favorite.
you stopped in your tracks, blinking in confusionâthe bright pink carton stood out against the plain wooden surface of your desk, and for a moment, you thought it had to be some kind of mistake.
but then you saw itâ a folded note tucked underneath the carton.
with cautious fingers, you reached for the note and unfolded it. the handwriting was familiar, neat and precise.
âiâm sorry.â
that was itâno explanation, no signature, but you didnât need one.
you knew exactly who it was from. your heart gave an involuntary flutter, and you quickly stuffed the note into your bag before anyone could see it.
your eyes darted to heeseungâs seat across the room.
he was already there, sitting with his head resting on his hand, staring at the window as if he hadnât just left a peace offering on your desk.
he didnât look at you, didnât acknowledge you, but you could feel the tension radiating off him, like he was waiting for you to react.
you bit your lip, unsure of what to doâyou wanted to stay mad at him, wanted to cling to the hurt and anger from yesterday, but this⊠this small gesture of apology tugged at something deep inside you.
heeseung wasnât one to apologize easily. you knew that. he was proud, stubborn, and always had to win. but this? this was different. it wasnât much, but it was something.
before you could figure out how to feel about it, the bell rang, and the classroom began to fill with students.
you slid into your seat, trying to ignore the flutter in your chest as the day began.
over the next few days, it became a pattern.
every morning, when you arrived at school, there was something waiting for you on your deskâa carton of strawberry milk, a small packet of your favorite snacks, even a neatly folded handkerchief after gym class when youâd been sweating.
each gift came with the same simple noteââiâm sorry.â
it was starting to drive you crazy.
heeseung didnât say a word to you during class, didnât try to talk to you between periods, but his quiet gestures of apology were impossible to ignore.
the other students had started to notice too, whispering to each other whenever they saw the latest offering on your desk.
âwhatâs going on with you and heeseung?â mina asked one day at lunch, her eyebrows raised in suspicion. âheâs been acting so⊠weird lately.â
you shrugged, trying to play it off like it wasnât a big deal. âi donât know. heâs just⊠apologizing, i guess.â
minaâs eyes widened. âapologizing? for what?â
you hesitated, unsure of how much to tell herâmina didnât know about the confrontation in the cafeteria, didnât know how much heeseungâs words had hurt you.
and honestly, you didnât feel like reliving it. so instead, you just sighed. âitâs complicated.â
mina gave you a look, clearly not satisfied with your vague answer, but thankfully she didnât push it.
instead, she glanced over at jake, who had been sitting quietly beside you, picking at his food.
âwhat do you think about all this?â she asked, nudging him playfully. âyou and heeseung have always been rivals too, right?â
jake glanced up, his expression thoughtful âyeah, weâre rivals on the court,â he said, his voice casual. âbut i donât really care about that. if heâs apologizing, maybe heâs finally realized he messed up.â
you looked over at jake, feeling a wave of gratitude for his support.
he had been there for you when you needed someone, and now, more than ever, you appreciated his calm, steady presence.
he didnât make a big deal out of the situation, didnât push you to confront heeseung before you were ready. he just⊠understood.
jake caught your eye and smiled, and for a moment, you felt a sense of calm wash over you.
but of course, that peace didnât last long.
later that afternoon, as you were walking through the hall with jake, laughing at one of his dumb jokes, you felt someone grab your wrist.
you stopped, your laughter dying on your lips as you turned to see heeseung standing there, his grip firm but not painful.
his eyes were intense, his jaw set in determination.
âcome with me,â he muttered, his voice low and urgent.
you blinked, confused. âwhat? whereââ
âjust⊠come on.â heeseung didnât give you a chance to argue. he tugged you along, pulling you toward the stairwell that led up to the rooftop.
jake called after you, his voice tinged with concern, but you were already too far down the hall to stop.
your heart pounded in your chest as heeseung led you up the stairs, the quiet intensity of the moment making your head spin.
when you finally reached the rooftop, he let go of your wrist and turned to face you, his expression conflicted, like he didnât know whether to yell or beg for your forgiveness.
âwhat are you doing, heeseung?â you asked, your voice shaky with confusion and anger.
âi need to talk to you,â he said, his voice quiet but desperate. âabout everything.â
the rooftop was quiet, other than the soft rustling of the wind and the distant chatter of the school below.
you stood there, facing heeseung, your heart pounding in your chest.
the tension between the two of you was thick, and the silence stretched on, filled with the weight of everything unsaid.
âwhat are we doing here?â you demanded, your voice sharper than you intended.
you were still reeling from the suddenness of it allâone moment youâd been laughing with jake, and the next, heeseung was dragging you up here like something urgent was at stake.
heeseung ran a hand through his hair, frustration clear on his face.
âi needed to get you away from him,â he muttered, avoiding your gaze.
âfrom jake?â you asked in bewilderment, your anger flaring up again. âwhat does jake have to do with this?â
heeseung finally looked at you, his eyes dark and intense. âeverything. heâsâheâs not the one you should be with.â
you stared at him, stunned. âexcuse me? what gives you the right to say that?â
âi know,â heeseung said quickly, holding up his hands in a gesture that almost seemed like surrender.
âi know i donât have the right. but i canât stand watching you with him any longer.â
your chest tightened as his words hung in the airâyou didnât know what to say.
part of you wanted to snap back, to tell him that he had no business being jealous after what he did.
but the other part of youâ the part that had been waiting for him to say somethingâwas finally starting to understand.
heeseungâs voice softened, and he took a small step closer to you. âeven if weâre enemies, even if weâve always been rivals, i would never side with jake. i would never choose someone over you.â
you blinked, your mind racing. his words made no sense. âthen why didnât you defend me in the cafeteria?â your voice cracked, and you hated how vulnerable you sounded, but the hurt was still there, sharp and raw.
heeseung flinched at the question, his jaw tightening. âi told youâ i donât know,â he sighed, his voice barely above a whisper.
âit was stupid. i didnât realize how much i was hurting you. and when i saw you with jakeâŠâ
he trailed off, his eyes searching yours, desperate for you to understand what he was struggling to say.
âwhen you saw me with jake, what?â you pushed, your voice quieter now, the anger fading away into something softer.
heeseung swallowed hard, his gaze never leaving yours.
âwhen i saw you with him, i realized how much i messed up. i realized that i was losing you, and i didnât know what to do.â he took another step closer, his eyes filled with regret.
âiâve been trying to ignore it for so longâthese feelings i have for you. but i canât anymore.â
your breath hitched at his confession, and for a moment, you didnât know how to respond.
heeseung, the person youâd spent your entire life competing with, the person who had always been rude and cocky, was standing in front of you, confessing that he liked you?
âfeelings?â you echoed, your voice barely audible.
heeseung nodded, his expression raw and vulnerable in a way youâd never seen before.
âyeah. iâve liked you for a long time, but i didnât know how to handle it. so i pushed you away. i made everything about our rivalry because i didnât know what else to do.â
his words hit you like a wave, crashing over you and leaving you breathless.
you didnât know how to process it, didnât know how to reconcile the heeseung youâd always known with the one standing in front of you now, baring his soul.
âi hurt you,â heeseung continued, his voice trembling slightly. âand iâm sorry. iâm so sorry. but i canât stand the thought of you being with someone else. i donât want to be your rival anymore. i donât want to lose you.â
you stared at him, your heart pounding, your mind racing with thoughts.
this was everything youâd been trying to ignore, everything youâd pushed aside because you didnât want to acknowledge the feelings that had been building up between you.
but now, standing here, with heeseung looking at you like he was afraid you were going to slip away, you couldnât deny it any longer.
âiâŠâ your voice faltered, your throat tight with emotion. âyouâre an idiot.â
heeseung blinked, startled. âwhat?â
âyouâre an idiot,â you repeated, shaking your head as a small, incredulous laugh escaped your lips.
âyou spent all this time pushing me away when you could have just told me the truth earlier.â
heeseung opened his mouth to respond, but before he could say anything, you closed the distance between you in one fast motion, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him down into a kiss.
for a second, heeseung froze, clearly shocked by your sudden move.
but then, he kissed you back, his hands coming up to gently cup your face.
the kiss was soft, slow at first, but it quickly deepened as all the tension between you melted away.
it was like everything youâd been holding back, all the unspoken words, all the bottled-up emotions, were finally being released in that moment.
heeseungâs lips were warm and gentle, and he kissed you like heâd been wanting to for a long timeâslowly, sweetly, as if he didnât want the moment to end.
your heart raced in your chest, your hands gripping the front of his shirt as you poured all of your frustration, confusion, and affection, into the kiss.
when you finally pulled away, breathless, you stared up at him, your cheeks flushed and your heart pounding.
heeseungâs eyes were wide with surprise, but there was a small, almost dazed smile tugging at his lips.
âi⊠i didnât expect that,â he whispered, his voice shaky.
you smiled, feeling a strange sense of relief wash over you. âyouâre such an idiot,â you said again, but this time, there was no bite to your wordsâjust warmth.
heeseung let out a soft laugh, his eyes crinkling at the edges. âyeah,â he agreed, his voice thick with emotion. âi am.â
without thinking, you kissed him again, softer this time, more sure of yourself.
and as his arms wrapped around you, pulling you close, you realized that this was exactly where you were supposed to be.
the next day at school, everything felt different. it was subtle at firstâa kind of quiet shift in the air that made you hyper-aware of heeseungâs presence the moment you walked into the classroom.
you werenât used to thisâthe ease, the softness that seemed to have settled between you overnight.
after years of rivalry, the shift from enemies to something more felt almost surreal.
but then you saw himâheeseung sitting at his desk, already glancing over at you the second you stepped through the door.
his usual smirk was gone, replaced by a small, almost shy smile, and it sent a warm flutter through your chest.
you smiled back, the tension from the day before melting away as he held your gaze for just a moment longer than usual.
it was like the rivalry had evaporated overnight, leaving something softer in its place. and yet, the familiarity of your banter remained.
you slid into your seat, feeling a little lighter than you had in weeks.
there was no strawberry milk waiting on your desk this time, no snacks or apology notes, but the absence didnât bother you.
the fact that heeseung had taken the time to talk to you, to open up the way he had, was more than enough.
still, you couldnât help but notice that people were whispering.
it wasnât loud or obvious, but every so often, youâd catch someone glancing your way, their eyebrows raised in curiosity.
mina, of course, was the first to bring it up.
âwhatâs going on with you and heeseung?â she asked as soon as you sat down for lunch.
her eyes were gleaming with excitement, clearly having picked up on the shift in dynamics. âyou two are acting so different!â
you shrugged, trying to play it off as casually as you could. âwe talked. thatâs all.â
mina narrowed her eyes. âyou talked? come on, you canât tell me something didnât happen. you guys have been enemies for, like, forever, and suddenly youâre all⊠smiley. itâs weird.â
you felt your cheeks heat up, and you looked down at your tray, trying to hide the small grin tugging at the corners of your lips. âitâs complicated.â
before mina could press you further, someone else slid into the seat next to you.
you didnât even need to look up to know who it wasâjake, with his usual easygoing smile and relaxed posture, leaned back in his chair as if he owned the place.
âso, you and heeseung, huh?â jake asked, his tone teasing.
you groaned, burying your face in your hands. ânot you too.â
jake chuckled, nudging you with his elbow. âhey, iâm just happy for you. i mean, after everything that happened⊠well, itâs nice to see you smile again.â
you peeked at him from between your fingers, grateful for his kindness.
jake had been there for you when you needed someone, and youâd grown closer over the past few weeks.
but now, things were different, and while you appreciated his friendship, you couldnât deny the new fluttering feeling that came with thinking about heeseung.
still, you couldnât resist teasing jake a little. âyouâre not jealous, are you?â you asked, raising an eyebrow playfully.
jake laughed, shaking his head. ânah, i could never compete with heeseung. that guyâs got it bad for you.â
the teasing tone in his voice made your cheeks flush, and you were about to reply when someone cleared their throat behind you.
you didnât have to turn around to know who it wasâthe shift in the airâthe quiet intensityâwas unmistakable.
heeseung stood there, his gaze flickering between you and jake, his jaw clenched slightly as he crossed his arms over his chest.
âwhatâs going on here?â he asked, his voice casual but with an underlying edge of jealousy.
jake grinned up at him, completely unfazed by the tension. âjust talking, man. relax.â
heeseung didnât move, his eyes narrowing just a fraction. âright. well, weâve got plans after school, donât we?â his tone was directed at you now, and you couldnât help but notice the slight possessiveness in his voice.
you blinked, caught off guard. âplans?â
heeseungâs lips quirked up into a small smile, his eyes locking onto yours with a look of softness that made your heart race. âyeah. walking home together, remember?â
you tried not to smile too widely, but it was impossible to hide the way your heart fluttered at his words.
jake, ever the instigator, raised his eyebrows in mock surprise.
âoh, so itâs like that now?â he teased, leaning back in his chair. âguess iâll have to find someone else to walk home with.â
heeseung shot him a look that was almost a glare, though there was a playful glint in his eyes. âyeah, you will.â
you rolled your eyes, though a small giggle escaped your lips. âheeseung, youâre being ridiculous.â
heeseung leaned down, resting one hand on the back of your chair as he looked down at you with a grin.
âmaybe,â he admitted, his voice softer now, âbut i donât like sharing.â
the possessiveness in his tone sent a shiver down your spine, but instead of feeling annoyed, you found it⊠oddly endearing.
you nudged him lightly. âyouâre such a child.â
heeseung chuckled, the sound low and warm, before he straightened up, glancing once more at jake. âyouâll be fine without her, right?â
jake waved him off, laughing. âiâll survive, donât worry.â
just as you were about to stand up and leave with heeseung, a voice interrupted the playful atmosphere, slicing through the lightheartedness like a cold breeze.
âheeseung.â
you looked up to see haerin standing a few feet away, her expression unreadable, but there was something in her eyes that made your stomach twist.
she glanced between you and heeseung, her lips pressed into a thin line before she focused on him. âcan we talk? alone.â
heeseungâs body tensed beside you, but instead of acknowledging her request, he tightened his grip on the back of your chair, his attention still fixed on you.
âno, iâm good,â heeseung said flatly, his tone leaving no room for argument.
haerin blinked, clearly not expecting the rejection. âi just wanted toââ
âiâm with someone right now,â heeseung cut her off, his voice firm but calm. âand iâd appreciate it if you left us alone.â
the sting of his words was evident in haerinâs eyes, but she didnât argue.
after a moment, she let out a quiet scoff and walked away, her shoulders tense as she disappeared into the crowd.
you stared at heeseung, surprised by how easily he had brushed her off.
heeseung, who had spent so much time with her recently, was now acting like she didnât even exist.
âwas that necessary?â you asked, raising an eyebrow.
heeseung shrugged, his expression softening as he looked at you. âwhat can i say? iâm done with all the games.â
you felt a warmth spread through your chest, and for a moment, you couldnât help but smile.
the possessiveness, the way heeseung had stood by your side without hesitationâit all made you realize just how much had changed between you two.
as the day went on, the whispers and curious glances from your classmates only grew louder.
everyone seemed to be talking about you and heeseung, but you didnât mind.
in fact, you kind of liked it. for once, the focus wasnât on your rivalryâit was on something else, something sweeter.
at the end of the day, as promised, heeseung was waiting for you by the school gates.
you spotted him leaning casually against the fence, his hands stuffed in his pockets, but the moment he saw you, his face lit up with that soft smile that made your heart race.
âready to go?â he asked, falling into step beside you as you started walking together.
you nodded, glancing up at him. âyou know everyoneâs talking about us, right?â
heeseung chuckled, shrugging. âlet them talk.â
you rolled your eyes, but there was a lightness to your steps as you walked side by side.
it felt easy, naturalâlike this was how things were always supposed to be.
and for the first time in a long time, the space between you and heeseung wasnât filled with tension or competition.
it was filled with something warmer, something that made your heart feel full.
as you walked, you noticed heeseungâs hand brush against yours, and before you could stop yourself, you reached out and intertwined your fingers with his.
heeseung glanced down at your hands, a look of surprise crossing his face before his smile widened, his grip tightening around yours.
neither of you said anything for a few minutes, just enjoying the silence and the feeling of walking together.
but eventually, you cleared your throat, glancing up at him with a teasing smile.
âso⊠are we, like, official now?â
heeseung slowed his pace, looking down at you with an amused grin. âofficial?â
âyou know what i mean,â you said, nudging him lightly with your shoulder. âboyfriend and girlfriend.â
heeseungâs expression softened at your words, and he stopped walking, turning to face you fully.
he gently cupped your face with one hand, his thumb brushing lightly over your cheek.
âyeah,â he whispered, his voice barely above a murmur. âi want us to be official. if you do, too.â
your heart swelled at the tenderness in his eyes, and you felt a soft smile spread across your lips. âi do.â
heeseungâs eyes sparkled with something like relief and joy, and before you could say anything else, he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours in a soft, lingering kiss.
it was slow, gentle, and filled with all the unspoken promises of this new chapter you were beginning together.
when he pulled back, you were both smiling, a quiet warmth settling between you.
âgood,â heeseung murmured, pressing his forehead against yours. âbecause iâm not letting you go.â
you laughed softly, your heart feeling lighter than it had in ages. âiâm not going anywhere.â
with that, the two of you continued walking home, hand in hand, your steps perfectly in sync.
and as the sun shimmered down lower in the sky, you knew that this was the start of something beautifulâsomething that had been building for far longer than either of you had realized.
heeseung was no longer just your rivalâhe was your boyfriend.
and honestly? it felt perfect.
© won4kiss 2024
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Just fair warning- I said on my personal post about this that I wasn't going to talk about Neil Gaiman anymore, but as it's becoming clear that him and his publishers and anyone else who makes money off of him is circling the wagons and trying to bury these allegations, as well as some fans still defending and trying to 'rationalize' this information, I feel like, actually, we need to keep talking about him (as much as I cannot stand him and feel physically disgusted now when I so much as see his face somewhere). Specifically, the fact that he's a liar, master manipulator and should not, under any circumstances, be given access to his fans like he has in the past. At the very least. (And if you need to blacklist his name or even unfollow me so as to not be triggered, I completely understand, but I will always try to tag these posts accordingly and I think it's crucial right now that the truth be put where people can see)
This post specifically is in response to those 'rationalizations' I've seen, some that have gone as far as to blame the young fans/groupies that hooked up with him for being 'golddiggers' or just making a mountain out of a molehill for something they now regret. It's not that simple, yall. (And, again, this requires some amount of completely ignoring the story about him extorting his tenant for sex under threat of eviction of her and her three young children, I'm not sure how you 'rationalize' that under the best of circumstances)
So let's be clear here. What we know is that NG has routinely, for possibly an upwards of 30 years, pulled sexual 'partners' from his fan groups, most of whom are 18-22 year old young women (though possibly younger, accounts are coming forward of 16 year olds having allegedly been inappropriately touched/flirted/propositioned by him, which ig is the age of consent in the UK but still?? 16 year olds!!). This wasn't one or two times in the course of three decades, this was a constant pattern of behavior for him and for a very insidious reason.
This isn't to try to infantilize those fans or young women/young people in general or try to suggest that they couldn't have consented to sex with an older person or famous person. In fact, the onus isn't on them at all. This is about an older guy with a lot of fame, power and wealth choosing to sleep with people that he had already conditioned to idolize him and using that power imbalance to coerce them into doing things they didn't want to.
Regardless of one's age or gender identity, it can be difficult to impossible to say 'no' to someone like that. After all, you've been 'chosen' by the chosen one, you're special and not like everyone else, and if you don't do what the popular person everyone trusts is telling you to do you could end up ostracized. Alienated. Or worse. And you know what? Gaiman knew that! He knew it when he was crafting his 'approachable dad' persona on tumblr. He knew it when he was cultivating a fandom of personality. He knew it when he was having huge meetups to try to ensnare more victims. I hate to even think it, but I'm starting to believe he knew it when he was writing children's books too.
It's been talked about again and again in separate issues, but needless to say something not being strictly illegal does not make it inherently, morally okay. It does not erase the fact that this man has been essentially grooming his fandom to feel safe meeting/speaking with him so he can coerce those he can snare into sexual acts they're not comfortable with. That is predator behavior, whether strictly 'illegal' in the eyes of a court or not (but ofc I think he should be criminally punished even if I'm not naive enough to think he actually will be, because this IS rape and rape should be criminally punished)
I'm not personally advocating for anyone to give up being in his related fandoms, but what I am personally advocating for is that people don't forget who he is and what he's capable of, especially when he tries to crawl back to where he was (I'm almost certain he will eventually, as I've said).
Again, at the very least, we need to use what little influence we do have to keep him from infiltrating fan spaces again. He should not be on tumblr yukking it up with young people, he should not be at public appearances hitting on teenagers, he should not be given the unrestricted access to fans that he's 'enjoyed' for the past 30+ years because he is not a safe person. While I wish there was more in the way of restorative justice that could be done, I think at very, very least we should do what we can to limit his proximity to people he could hurt in the future. Make sure no one forgets, because sweeping this under the rug means Gaiman gets to hurt more people.
Lastly, no one is the wrong for having been manipulated by him. Let's make that very clear. What we're NOT gonna do is blame ourselves, each other, the victims, etc, for evil acts that Gaiman chose to do himself, time and time and time again. It doesn't help the situation and it certainly doesn't protect future potential victims. We were all duped because we're human and we attach and a lot of us want to believe there are good people out there, particularly those who make art that means so much to us.
And there are. But let's also use this a teaching/learning tool about how much faith we place in famous people in the future, regardless of how 'approachable' and 'safe' they might seem. Let's remember to have a healthy suspicion of creators/famous people that are oddly immersed in fandom spaces- yes, even the ones you still currently like that seem fine, as difficult as that may seem.
At the end of the day, we don't know them or what they're capable of doing or what they might be plotting to do to us. Support victims. Amplify their voices. Don't forget.
#neil gaiman#tw neil gaiman#tw sa#tw victim blaming#neil gaiman allegations#ya actually im not gonna shut up about this#bc that's exactly what he wants#fuck off into the sun forever
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Emotionally unavailable Barney
Explanation:
( based on a convo with a friend )
Just sort of based on Barneyâs behavior throughout HL2, I know itâs a popular headcanon to believe Barney would resent Gordon, but I honestly feel the opposite is true. Barney seems to have a hard time grasping that Gordon is really there, like Gordonâs presence seemed to have set him 20 years in the past, he seems to associate Gordon with good memories from before the res-cas and the combine, he makes constant nostalgic throwbacks and quips about Gordon, it honestly felt like he was dying to rekindle that old friendship. It feels like heâs trying to push out the bad memories, not wanting to acknowledge what actually happened because despite every single throwback he never once mentions the resonance cascade or anything that happened afterwards, itâs all good memories. I think that Gordon (realistically) would need someone to talk to about everything that happened, he never got a moment to really process anything, being constantly on the move, and out of everyone there Barney is kind of the only person that could understand; but with Barney being a resistance leader I feel like heâd gotten used to hiding his feelings and putting up a strong front for the sake of other people, being a leader part of his responsibility is keeping everyone in good spirits, in turn I think heâd have a hard time being vulnerable around others.
This short comic is kind of a play on that, Gordon wanting to talk to Barney about it, just needing some sort of reassurance, and what better way then talking to your old best friend about it? Gordonâs presence making Barney feel like the good olâ days for a moment, he views Gordon with such a warmth that for a moment he forgets the world sucks.
Before being harshly reminded of the past heâd been pushing so far out his mind in order to be in best spirits during what is the most important mission of his entire life, and trying to shut down any conversation about it in order to not dwell on the past during an extremely stressful and important mission.
Iâve been thinking about freehoun so much if you couldnât tell.
#half life#gordon freeman#barney calhoun#half life 2#my art#Comic#freehoun#half life fanart#illustration#digital art#hl2 art#half life barney#barney half life#half life blue shift#halflife#im gonna end it all one of these days#art#artist on tumblr
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i love these tags this person is so right
actually, can you imagine if dave was raised by B1 roxy?
i wanna get into this actually
(ok i had to spend a few hours rewriting this because IT DIDNT FUCKING SAVE AFTER FIVE HOURS OF WRITING WHEN MY COMPUTER UPDATED WHILE I WAS AFK so it would mean a lot to show this post some appreciation. i LOVEEE hearing what other people have to say)
even though these things mom does are presented in an extravagant, kitsch, jokey way, her intentions always came from a place of sincerity. she is simply Funnie
but rose reads too far into it and assumes things that aren't there, that her mother is passive-aggressively feigning interest in rose's interests simply because the things she does are so extra. "why do all of this if not to mock me"
im telling you right now if dave lived in this household he wouldn't assume antagonism, he'd go,
donât forget who LITERALLY patented tangible jpeg artifacts as their post-scratch adult self and scattered shitty scummed up statue of liberties all over the planet. theres no way some of that overboard artful shit wasnt post-ironic / circling back around to genuine funny sincerity
dave's natural state is funny sincerity like roxy. he's had the natural capacity for this type of humor from the start and this is the direction he goes towards when he grows out of his brother's shadow by the end of the comic. dave and roxy share an earnest âso bad its goodâ type of humor
(lots more under the cut; the length of this meta analysis just got unwieldly with all the pictures and whatnot)
despite the alcoholism, roxy is a supportive mother. she's not the ideal guardian but hells of a lot more supportive of her kid than bro is. if she knew dave's interests she would totally indulge in them with some over the top silly goofy haha shit as a genuine gesture simply because she loves him
rose isn't too keen on it though. but she is more similar to dirk in her natural state of thinking of overthinking shit and assuming the worst, like the tags said
and yes dave got the sweet cuddly yet sometimes backhanded ouppy gene from roxy, probably even moreso lol
roxy's even said rose "sounds like girl dirk"
side tangent here, but this is something i wanna talk about.
i dont think bro should ever be in custody of children ever but if theres anyone who would be up to the task it's rose probably. i know she'd be able to keep up with him. not only does she have a defined personality (dave is more malleable and absorbs his environment like a sponge), if anyone can pick apart B1 dirk's batshit brain and probably be right on the money it's her. lil cal has been pumping patriarchal nonsense into bro's head and rose would be able to bring the fucking facts to the table without losing her own and being a living example of a badass little girl. i also don't think bro would try to force masculine roles onto rose like he did with dave, seeing as she is a girl, so she would actually have more of a leg up and get some passes that dave was never afforded. and rose wouldn't stand idly and accept any bullshit; she is no doormat. and i think this would earn bro's respect
but anyway, from this, couldn't we conclude roxy "sounds like girl dave"?
yeah okay. we havent even gotten into their penchant for funny typos or misspeaks, deliberate or otherwise
so, dave's environment
the sentiment "god you hope you can be as good as your bro at this some day" might have been genuine at the time when he idolized bro but of course he's not able to express that in any sort of sincere fashion because he's in dirk's fucking household. and this level 10 irony shit isnt doing dave any favors
his role models were the Internet and a vague idea of what Bro was like. So he built up his facade based on ironyânot the literary definition of irony, as Rose might be quick to point out, but a popular concept of irony based on the idea that things that didnât make sense actually made sense in some roundabout way. As a master of irony, Dave probably reasoned, he could see in a way other people couldnât why a world that was scary and didnât make sense really did make sense, and could therefore convince those people that he was superior to them. And he would wield his knowledge to maintain the appearance of superiority by calling everything ironic and pretending he didnât care about things that didnât make sense, and he would use walls of vaguely rhyming words to keep everyone at armâs length so they wouldnât discover his insecurities (source)
roxy's style is the embodiment of post-irony. being raised by mom lalonde would be like being raised by joel vinesauce ok
what can i say âŠ.. (getting meta about this actually, hussie got these jpeg wizard wallpapers from a spyware website. link takes some time to load because internet archive)
rose is quick to read post-irony as actually being a joke/insincere, which in bro's case would be true. but i believe dave's natural instinct, outside of the influence of bro, is to read post-irony as genuine, which is exactly how mom serves it. we see this as early as act 3 from him; he understands her motives better than rose does herself:
and in act 6 intermission 2 i think it's pretty clear
but the thing is, it's always genuine from her. dave wouldn't have to second guess it because he's not one to naturally second guess someone's sincerity; that was learned due to his bro being virtually unassailable
there two types of ironies at play here:
seems like a joke, is actually genuine (roxy)
doesnt seem like a joke, is actually a joke (dirk)
you can make the argument that the second is is more psychologically destructive because it makes you question the reality of what is genuine sentiment and what isn't. dave never knew what was genuine and what was irony so he just sort of existed in this sincerity-ironic limbo and always did the opposite of what he genuinely felt on principle even if it always did originate from a genuine place.
"it just a joke bro i was just being ironic i dont actually x" is so much more trust-breaking and psychologically damaging than "wait are you being serious" / "i am being so fucking fr rn davy gravy" / "ok thats actually pretty fucking awesome. giant ass wizard statue" / "RIGHT"
how much about dave would change do you think? his character arc would be completely different for one thing, i think he'd have it good aside from mom's alcohol issues. he'd be left with the sweet and funny parts of him that we see at the end of the comic. the fake coolguy stuff is out, but this remains. this is dave in his element and we see it as early as act 1
he'd probably have no shades growing up in the lalonde residence* either cause those were given to him by bro straight out of the crater as an extension of his own cool image. and john gave dave ben stillerâs aviators for his 13th birthday to replace them so he could âspread his wingsâ
dave said he was wearing them for the ironies but i kind of doubt it. maybe post-irony but there was some reacharound to it being genuine because dave never put those pointy anime shades on his face again.
*though... itâs kind of hard to imagine him without his shades at all? B2 dave still got stillerâs shades from stiller himself so maybe getting them is a universal constant. i can imagine mom getting him them as a birthday gift cause shes pretty wealthy and probably could buy it out in an auction. but also itd be cool if john still gave him it as a gift
dave is actually a lot more genuine and easy to read than he lets on even when grappling with his upbringing with B1 dirk (again, see this post). this can be seen all throughout he comic but a good example is the evolution of thoughts about his interest in the preserved dead things in his room:
if B1 roxy was dave's guardian he probably WOULD have pursued paleontology because she wouldve indulged him in it and probably find it cool and worthwhile to pursue, instead of allowing dave to flounder under ironic detachment, being poisoned by irony to the point of gaslighting himself into believing he doesnt actually believe he thinks this shit is cool. even if it was indulged in this such a way; a superficially kitsch and ironic appearing presentation, it comes from a genuine place and inspires genuine interest. just read the comments.
basically, i think if B1 roxy raised dave, their relationship would have a surface level appearance of being bizarre or over-the-top but theyâd have an unsaid mutual understanding that itâs completely in earnest and just build on each other's funny and absurd gestures of affection. rather than seeing it as one-upping each other, it'd more like collaboration of some silly bullshit that you take a step back and look at full and just say, "fucking incredible"
speaking of paleontology, mom had the proto-ectobiology lab. maybe they'd be able to use the equipment to appearify paradox ghost imprints of the dead shit to create paradox clones of things from the cambrian era??? sounds like a fun mother son bonding activity. and theyd actually put the sciencey shit in the household to use
oh god i know exactly the kinds of music shed listen too also growing up as a teen in the 80s. she on that (post)-punk/art rock/new wave/new romantic mtv stuff. XTC shit fr. this is a B-52S HOUSEHOLD. maybe the associates for the campy melodramatic flair. so he gets to keep the record on his shirt cause he is an enjoyer of the shit in her vinyl collection. dave would still gravitate towards musical expression and music itself but of more variety outside of just rap, with an 80s-90s, even 70s flavor due to momâs influence. see this for perhaps a glimpse. âshe probably visited new york city a lot for business trips and because the music scene was cool as hell around that time, imports came straight from jfk airport, she probably got in on that a bit and have remnants in the form of vinyls and cassettes. in this way she could be distributing void to dave (influencing him with forgotten / presently irrelevant music). now he can REALLY rave about bands none of his friends have heard of. âhey davy grvay watcha listenin toâ (he holds up vinyl cover) âomg snakefingerâ
btw dave lalonde would look like this to me
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My Favourite Alonso : ÌÌâ George Russell
summary: after being introduced at last to some of your brotherâs fellow drivers, one particular brit captures your attentionâŠ
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by fernandoalo_oficial, landonorris and 1,492,262 others
georgerussell63: another awesome week on the track, disappointed with the result but the car is starting to feel real good đ©”
184,967 comments
username1: trust the process george, you got this!!
landonorris: notice how Iâm closing the gap in the second photo??
georgerussell63: @/landonorris you keep telling yourself that my friendâŠ
username2: imagine being such good friends with a legend like itâs nothing đ
fernandoalo_oficial: proudest day of my life making it onto the grid of THE george russell
georgerussell63: @/fernandoalo_oficial: youâve really made it in life now đ
username3: have you ever met a more popular driver on the grid??
kimi.antonelli: it was awesome to be there and learn so much from you this weekend đ©”
username4: weâre always so proud of you regardless of the result đđ»
lewishamilton: great drive again my friend, weâre on the rise as we finish the season!
username5: how anyone can drive in those conditions is crazy to me đ€Ż
mercedesamgf1: another great race weekend george đ©”
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55 and 1,483,958 others
georgerussell63: you could be forgiven for thinking my summer holiday involved a lot of food, and you would be absolutely spot on đ„
163,968 comments
username6: forget the food wtf is going on in that middle photo đ€
charles_leclerc: damn someoneâs really dressed to impress their girl over the summer break! đ„
username7: not even food could distract us from that photo george
landonorris: the secretive post is such an ick btw đ
georgerussell63: @/landonorris no one is as big of an ick as you are!
username8: Iâm so happy to see you enjoying your not so single summer!!
username9: scrolling through socials to see if Iâve missed anythingâŠ
maxverstappen1: stop trying to be like the cool kids with your soft launch đ
lewishamilton: didnât even tell your own teammate you had a girlfriend before telling the world đ
username10: donât think food was the only thing it involved a lot of judging by these photos đ€š
danielricciardo: stop trying to disguise your gf with food đ
username11: you canât just post something like this without telling us more đ«
fernandoalo_oficial: I feel like a proud dad đ„č
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by georgerussell63, lancestroll and 59,472 others
ynalonso: heâs a little more soft launch than me đ„ș
6,381 comments
username12: thank you yn for doing georgeâs work for him đđ»
landonorris: and this is why youâre the favourite compared to george, never leave us hanging!!
oscarpiastri: I knew it was you all along đ
username13: now this is the sorta partnership I can get behind đ
iamrebeccad: remember a couple of weeks ago when I asked you if anything was going on and you said no!?
ynalonso: @/iamrebeccad Iâm sorry we just werenât ready to share đđ
username14: now it makes sense why heâs suddenly become so much more friendly with fernandoâŠ
danielricciardo: george really do he making himself friendly with the alonso family these days đ
username15: his summer was definitely more than just foodâŠgeorge is a liar đ
pierregasly: a little bit!? youâve just come at us outta nowhere yn!!
fernandoalo_oficial: I wanna act surprise but secretly I was rooting for you two all along đđ»
ynalonso: @/fernandoalo_oficial best. brother. ever. đ
username16: yn is already my best friend simply cause she hard launches!!
lancestroll: you canât go abandoning your aston martin roots now you know đđȘđ»
username17: I refuse to believe that there are two better drivers who could make the best brothers in law đ„șđ„șđ„ș
georgerussell63: why did I try so hard to be secretive for the whole summer đ
ynalonso: @/georgerussell63 I just enjoyed tormenting you đ„°
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by lewishamilton, fernandoalo_oficial and 64,968 others
ynalonso: every half an hour I keep switching hats and hoping that no one notices đ
6,973 comments
username18: you canât have two favourites yn itâs forbidden đ
georgerussell63: as long as you prefer the blue hat to the green hat idm đ©”
username19: Iâve got images of yn sprinting between the garages all weekend
landonorris: still donât know why you could pick either of those when you could pick papaya đ§Ą
carlossainz55: @/landonorris or even better still pick ferrari red â€ïž
ynalonso: @/landonorris @/carlossainz55 youâre both far too annoying for me đ
username20: canât wait to see fernando vs george to keep yn in their garage đ„
lancestroll: every time you runaway and go to mercedes Iâm sure I hear fernando cry đ
ynalonso: @/lancestroll heâs always been the dramatic sibling đ
username21: their hats are bright blue and bright green ofc weâll notice đ
lewishamilton: weâll give you whatever you want if you pick mercedes instead đ
username22: this not a sustainable way of living yn đ
fernandoalo_oficial: just remember youâve been green a lot longer than you have blue đ
username23: you need a makeshift blue and green hat for best of both worlds!!
alex_albon: safe yourself the hassle and come and join lily at williams, she keeps moaning sheâs lonely đ
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liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 67,593 others
ynalonso: just for all the people wondering how george and nando are such good friends, a collection of photos Iâve taken of the two of them over the years đ©”đ
7,138 comments
username24: for everyone saying these two werenât close before ynâŠhereâs your proof đđ»
georgerussell63: I look like Iâm about ten years old in that first photo đ„ș
ynalonso: @/georgerussell63 still just as handsome now youâre an old man đ
georgerussell63: @/ynalonso still nowhere near as old as your brother đ
username25: the friendship these two have had has always been special!
maxverstappen1: now I feel old looking at how old these two now are too
username26: I can imagine fernando being the one to set them up somehow đ€
fernandoalo_oficial: donât tell him this now Iâm supposed to be the intimidating older brotherâŠbut heâs easily my favourite driver đ„č
ynalonso: @/fernandoalo_oficial you are the least intimidating person ik đ
username27: look at baby george in the first photo đ«
alex_albon: someone explain please how fernando is only getting better with age!?
ynalonso: @/alex_albon itâs those alonso genes đ€©
landonorris: isnât it about time that george got himself a different haircut!?
username28: fernando watching george grow up right before his very eyes đ
danielricciardo: the kids grow up so fast đ€§
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by alex_albon, lewishamilton and 1,293,068 others
georgerussell63: sheâs not used to hugging tall guys đ
168,492 comments
username29: not george calling fernando out like this đ
fernandoalo_oficial: just because youâre dating my sister donât think Iâll let you get away with height jokes russell!!
georgerussell63: @/fernandoalo_oficial Iâm sorry fernando please donât hate me đ
username30: you canât be mean youâre basically family now đ
danielricciardo: youâre a brave man making a joke like that đđ»
username31: good luck yn dealing with these two together!!
landonorris: nothing wrong with being a little bit on the smaller side đ€š
username32: youâre supposed to get her family to like you george not hate your guts
oscarpiastri: not everyone has the pleasure of walking around like a weird giraffe like you!
username33: canât believe heâs done fernando dirty like this đ
ynalonso: he might be small but he sure is mighty, Iâd watch your back russell đ«
username34: this dynamic is delivering more than I ever thought it would!
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by ynalonso, landonorris and 1,294,067 others
georgerussell63: happy birthday to my love, turns out the alonso family know how to party too đđŸ
48,492 comments
username35: this might be my favourite post of all time đ€©
oscarpiastri: happy birthday yn, thank you for such an awesome party last night!
ynalonso: I think itâs safe to say Iâll never forget last night, thank you for organising it all babe đ
username36: who knew fernando and george were actually the double act we all needed
danielricciardo: now share the rest of the photos you have from last nigh!?
georgerussell63: @/danielricciardo if I shared many more of the photos I have Iâll probably get banned by instagram đ
username37: I canât stop thinking about this party and these photos đđ
landonorris: I canât erase the image of fernando on the table from my eyes!!!
alex_albon: no one enjoyed themselves at the party last night more than fernando!!
username38: who knew fernando still had all those movesâŠ
maxverstappen1: I donât think Iâll recover from what I saw last night for a long time hahah
username39: at least now we all know exactly where yn gets it from!!
fernandoalo_oficial: remember what happens at the club stays at the club đ
georgerussell63: @/fernandoalo_oficial I have a lot more respect for you after last night đ·
username40: george you have no idea that youâre about to be part of the best family ever đ€©
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
#f1#f1 imagine#formula 1#formula 1 x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#formula one#formula 1 x you#f1 reaction#formula one imagine#george russell x you#george russell fanfic#george russell x reader#george russell imagine#george russell#george russell smau#formula x reader#formula 1 social media#formula one x reader#formula 1 fic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 smau#formula one smau#f1 fluff#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 smau#f1 x you
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Steddie | 2.2k | first meetings | ao3
âWhat did you say the name of the band is again?â Steve asks. He has to raise his voice above the sound of the music playing before the concert and the hundreds of conversations around him.
âCorroded Coffinâ Dustin says, probably for the hundredth time, or thatâs what his tone suggests.
âItâs written on the drums.â Mike adds with his constant bitchy petulant tone.
Steve turns around and fair enough, the name is written there in the drums. They are also right there as they had queued for hours to be at the front (they are not in the centre but thereâs no one standing in front of them), and apparently the band and place are small enough that there is no security line in front of the stage. Steve has been leaning against it with a drink in his hand while they wait for the concert to start. And thatâs his excuse. He was leaning against the stage, so the drums were to his back, he couldnât have read them.
âCâmon Steve, even I learned the name of the band in the eternity we have been hereâ Robin says which, rude, but she had agreed to come keep him company at a metal concert without asking for anything in return, so he will let it pass.
The kids (not quite kids anymore, but close enough) had needed an adult to get into the 18+ venue the concert was held at, and of course that adult had to be Steve because âwe are not going to bring one of our parents into a metal concert Steveâ and âNancy and Jonathan are not even in the state and you said you were fun, didnât you?â and he is fun, so he had to agree. And drag Robin with him, of course.
âWell I would remember the name if it wasnât a stupid nameâ he says, a bit too loud if the looks he receives from some of the people around them are anything to go by.
âIf you are so annoyed why donât you go hang out at the bar and leave us alone?â Dustin asks.
âIf Iâm at a concert Iâm getting the full experience, Iâve not queued for hours to stay at the bar. And I have to make sure you donât get squished to death or accept drinks from strangers.â
âWe are sixteen, you already drank when you were sixteen.â
âBut I didnât have a wristband telling everyone I was a minor.â He emphasizes this by hooking his forefinger on said wristband around Dustinâs wrist. The boy takes his hand away with a huff, but whatever he was going to say gets interrupted by a loud cheer as the lights of the venue dim. All eyes turn to the stage, and Steve forgets everything about the little shits around him.
They play the first two songs without interruption, back to back, and they are much better than Steve had expected them to be when the kids had pitched the idea of going to a concert of âa super cool bandâ they had found on tiktok of all places. Steve is very quick to understand their raising popularity on social media the moment his eyes land on the frontman. He is not even wearing anything scandalous, just black jeans, some graphic tee and a leather jacket, but fuck if he isnât attractive. His big eyes, teasing smile and wild hair are very much deserving of the screams they awake in the audience.
When the second song finishes, they donât start a new one, the frontman takes the microphone from the stand.
âAre you ready for the best night of your life?â he shouts, and the audience answers with shouts of their own. Steve finds himself whooping, and answers with a smile and a shrug to Robinâs amused silent question as both of them clap. âWe are Corroded Coffin,â more yelling, and the frontman stars walking around with a smile on his lips while he looks at the ground, clearly enjoying the attention. âAnd these aaaaaareâŠâ he prolongs the last word, building a dramatic effect. âGareth!â he shouts, pointing to the back dramatically. There are yells, the boy at the drums doing a short solo before he stands up to wave at the audience. âJeff!â more yells, a guitar solo. âOur favourite Freak!â laughs from band and audience alike, more yells, and the boy with the bass trying to hit the frontman with said bass. âAnd Iâm Eddie.â
âEddieâ Steve mouths the name.
There are yells as the frontman finishes, a small bashful smile on his lips back on his face after the laughing as he plays with the microphone stand with the hand that is not currently holding the microphone. He looks up at the audience when the yells donât stop, gives a small dramatic bow and smirks when the yells grow louder once again.
âEDDIE MARRY MEâ a voice yells from somewhere in the audience.
âOh? Without going on a date first?â Eddie asks, he has his gaze set somewhere on the audience, and Steve is a bit impressed at how easily he has spot the person in the sea of bodies.
âIâM FREE WHENEVER.â The same voice yells again, it makes Eddie laugh.
âIâm honoured, my fair lady, but Iâll have to decline. Iâm looking for my knight in shining armour myself.â There are ooohs from the audience but Steveâs gut makes a traitorous interested twist. âAnd speaking of knights,â he says, putting his hands back on his guitar, âI think you may know this one.â One note, and the audience is going crazy. Dustin is jumping up and down while he holds onto Steveâs arm, and Steve canât help but laugh at him.
It's when that third song is finishing that it happens. The guitarist is starting a solo, and Eddie looks down to the base of the microphone stand, pulls a confused face, and then looks around. He must not see whatever he was looking for because he has a confused furrow in his brow when he does a second sweep around the stage and beyond, and he catches Steve's eyes. He maintains the eye contact for a second, two, five, and then looks down to Steveâs hands and back up again. There is a smirk in his face Steve is not entirely sure he likes the implications of as he walks towards him while he keeps playing.
Steve can hear Dustin screaming âoh my god, oh my god, oh my godâ right next to his ear as Eddie comes closer until he is standing right in front of them.
The musician is still looking at Steve as he leans forward and asks âgive me a sip?â as he looks down at Steveâs hands for a second. (Or at least thatâs what Steve guesses he says, the noise too loud for him to really hear him without his mic.)
Steve lifts his drink, and the frontman leans forward and down with a smile. He opens his mouth and Steve pours his drink in it. When he finishes, he winks at Steve before he walks away in time to start singing again. The kids around him are screaming, Robin is surely going to make him partially deaf and is shaking him so hard he almost drops the rest of his drink. It takes until the next song starts for the bunch to calm down a bit and focus on the show again.
The thing is, that is not the last time it happens. Eddie comes back to steal sips from his drink every few verses, and when Steveâs drink is finished and he goes to get a beer, he is miraculously let back to the front by the audience. Eddie, of course, also wants to have his share of the beer. So they share it.
It is, if Steve is honest, the weirdest experience he has ever had in a concert. But he is having too much fun and would not change it for anything. A hot singer and guitarist coming to him every few minutes and bending down so Steve can pour drink into his mouth? The best thing that has happened to him all month. It only gets better when Eddie ditches his leather jacket â Steve was starting to wonder when that was going to happen because itâs much too hot in the venue for it and he is sure that a big reason Eddie needs to drink so much is because he is sweating it all and dehydrating â and reveals that the tee he was wearing underneath has the sleeves cut off very freely. Steve can see most of the manâs torso and that is a SIGHT. There are tattoos on his arms and ribcage that Steve immediately wants to see complete, and his waist is slim where the shirt is tucked into the jeans. It makes Steve bite his lip in want.
He is about to pour the last of their third beer in Eddieâs mouth when a small hand stops him. He looks to the side with confusion, sure that none of the kids or Robin would stop him at this point and is met with the smile of a small blonde girl.
âGive him this pleaseâ she says, handing him a bottle of an electrolyte drink. Steve looks back at Eddie just in time to see him groaning. âNo more beer.â She adds, pointing to Eddie as if he was a misbehaving dog, he is surely giving the look, with his big brown eyes and sad look. She turns back to Steve, âand sorry about that, any new drinks you get are on us.â
She is gone with that. Steve looks at Eddie, at the new drink in his hand. Eddie shrugs, defeated, and leans forward. Steve quickly empties the rest of the beer in his mouth before he opens the new bottle and starts pouring from it. Eddie doesnât drink much, too busy trying not to choke on the beer and his laughter.
Eddie ditches his guitar towards the end of the concert for a âcalmerâ song. He walks around the stage as he sings to a boy involved in him that tries to deny the depth of their relationship and tries to date girls, and how in the future he is going to regret not staying with him. He has great stage presence, he has been flirting with the audience between songs, dramatic and charismatic, a bit over the top. Maybe the fastest crush Steve has ever developed, happy to enjoy his part in the show, even when he knows itâs not going to lead anywhere.
Steve feels his heart accelerating as Eddie walks towards him, which is ridiculous, they have been doing this all night. But this time Eddie shakes his head when Steve gets the drink ready, and he can only look as he kneels on the edge of he stage right in front of him as he sings the bridge. They are holding eye contact now, and itâs the closest they have been. Eddieâs eyes are captivating, Steve can only stop looking at them to glance down at his lips. It seems he was caught, because the next second Eddie is speaking.
âAre we about to kiss right now?â he asks, and Steve looks back up to his eyes. He lifts his eyebrows, trying to convey âbring it onâ as best as he can as he licks his lips, Eddieâs eyes glancing at them. It must work, because the next second Eddie is leaning forward, and now Steveâs hand is on his nape, and their lips are pressing against each other.
Itâs probably the filthiest kiss Steve has participated on. At least with an audience. Itâs not long, Eddie has to keep singing after all, but they make up for it in tongue action. The audience goes crazy around them, but Steve doesnât pay attention to them at all, only focused on Eddie. He at least must be paying some attention to their surroundings because he pulls off in time to keep singing and stands up to move around the stage.
There are a couple of songs more, and then Eddie is introducing the band again before he starts listing all the members of the staff that have made the concert possible.
âWe also wouldnât have made it here without our precious manager Chrissy,â he adds, âeven when she worries too much sometimes. Three beers are not enough to get me drunk, especially not shared ones. And that reminds me! I canât forget to thank my knight in shining armour, my perfect drink partnerâŠâ he trails off.
âSTEVE!â Robin shouts next to him.
âSteveâ Eddie repeats with a smile. âThank you for the drinks. Donât go running off now too fast now, alright? Stay for a bit after the concert, I owe you a couple of beers.â He finishes with a wink.
The kids and Robin are screaming again, and Steve is sure he is going to have bruises tomorrow from their grabbing, but he doesnât stray his gaze from Eddie. At least not until the last song finishes, the lights from the stage turn off, and the rest of the lights of the venue turn on. Then, and only then, Steve turns towards the others.
âHow did you say you were going to get back home again?â
Part two
Now with art
#of course the whole gang gets to meet the band#and then they arrange transport for everyone so Steve and Eddie can spend the night together#I imagine Steve like: i bet he does something like this in every concert. this must be a bit. dont freak out robin.#he is a metal musician he must have groupies in every concert#but NOPE Eddie saw Steve and was immediately in love. its him or no one. 100% yn style#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie ficlet#steddie fic#my writings#steve x eddie
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It's a Love Story - Chapter 2
Summary:
Azriel's shadows find their master a wife.
Azriel would just really like his heart not to get broken again.
And Sky...well, she's just really surprised that that far too handsome male is interested in her at all.
Warning:
Rhys Bashing (as usual), I classified this as Azriel x OC, even when it't technically Azriel x Sellyn Drake (but we kinda know nothing about Sellyn Drake other than that she writes books so Sky is kinda an OC), Cassian is kinda a good guy for once, Azriel has a horrible time, as usual... Stuttering, toxic families (For once I do not mean the IC), Self-Esteem Issues, Secret Identity, Body Image Issues, Fat Shaming, People being utterly horrible.
If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please take care of your own mental health and don't read it.
Contary to popular belief, (which was pretty much that the shadows had no mind of their own, which they had, thank you very much) the shadows did do other thing than to only listen to Masterâs orders.Â
Of course they listened to Masterâs orders.Â
But they also didâŠthings that Master didnât know aboutâŠand would never need to find out aboutâŠ
One example in fact was the amount of gold the shadows had squirreled away throughout the centuries. Not for them, but for Master. So that Mater would never need to worry about that again. So that Master would never need to sleep in a dungeon again, like he had as a child. So Master could always have new weapons and could keep himself safe, so that he would have everything he needed.
Gold wasnât the only thing they had squirrelled awayâŠthey had other things stashed away too! Anyhting that made the appearance of being useful one day! Shiny little things, because the shadows liked thatâŠSadly Master never made the appearance that he would appreciate the diamond necklaces they had hidden away in a little cave, but maybe one dayâŠ
Maybe one day Master would take a wife and she would like them.
The shadows had it all figured out. Whoever she turned out to be, they would make sure that she liked them too. They would make themselves useful so that she would like them.
Even when it had never seemed to work before⊠The shadows had made themselves scarce around The Morrigan and The Seer because they knew that Master liked them. And if Master liked themâŠwell, then the shadows would make sure that Master got what he wanted.
Master wanted so few things after allâŠ
They even found The Morrigan her favourite red lipstick that hadnât been made in centuries. Not because they liked The Morrigan, but because Master did.
And in return, she treated Master like that.
And The SeerâŠoh, somehow that was even worse.
Though The Seer wasnât the only one the Shadows didnât like because of that. The High Lord was the other one. And him⊠oh, the shadows would get their revenge.Â
Master was theirs. Nobody talked to Master like that.
(They just needed to wait for the perfect momentâŠand the High Lord would regret ever treating their Master like thatâŠ)
Master had nearly gotten himself killed just because he had wanted to make The Seer happyâŠand nobody even seemed to care about that. Not really.Â
And then Master was working himself to the bone, clearly wanting to forget what happened between him and The SeerâŠand the Shadows just wanted to fix things, but there was nothing to fix anymore.Â
At least nowâŠAt least now, finally, Master was listening to somebody with his best interests at first.
The Shadows would find Master a wife. The best wife they possibly could. And a home too.
And so, with their new mission in mind, the shadows set off to find the perfect home and the perfect female for their master.
The home was the easier part.
Mostly because they already owned it for a few decades.Â
It was a picturesque Lake House at one of the mountain seas in Velaris, not far off from the House of Wind. It was beautiful and just a few minutes by foot away from the city center but still private and quietâŠand the view was spectacular.Â
The home itself was warm and cozy, with large windows that let in plenty of sunlight. Master would love it.
It just needed a littleâŠattention. Some furnitureâŠThey would need to put the stuff they had filled it with somewhere else but that shouldnât be a problem, right?Â
Master would love it. Now they just needed the right female to share it with for MasterâŠ
The shadows were going to find Master a wife⊠They just neededâŠThey just needed to figure out some criteria at first.
Master had said he didnât care about how she lookedâŠso that didnât help them to narrow down the pool of possible candidates.
Nobody with a known mate. Nobody in a romantic relationship⊠regardless of how loose that was. The Shadows were not going to get Masterâs heart broken again, thank you very much⊠Then all the females that preferred females themselves.
That did narrow it down⊠at least a little bit.
Then the moreâŠobscure character traits.Â
Nobody that was a workaholic like Master. That was never going to work.
Nobody that needed endless other people around them to be happyâŠMaster would just get overwhelmed and shut downâŠ
Nobody that didnât seem like they were ready for a long term relationship eitherâŠonce again, they didnât want to break Masterâs heart againâŠ
The shadows had met really bad people. Criminals and murderersâŠthey had seen the worst the world had to offer âŠbut they were surprised by how many females they threw out too that pool simply because of how they behaved towards other people.
Once they had thought that maybeâŠmaybe one female was an option. Dark blonde hair, green eyesâŠshe had a steady job and she liked going out dancingâŠ.by the time she made fun of the limp of a soldier, the shadows wondered if every single person they came across was an asshole. They also wondered if there was anyone out there who truly deserved Master.Â
But the Shadows refused to give up. They would find the right female for Master, no matter how long it took. They had already acquired a beautiful home for him, and now they were determined to find the perfect mate to share it with...
They could easily suss out anybody they wanted to meetâŠthey could figure out which females were availableâŠThe problem was only thatâŠthey did find some kind of problem with every female they came across.
The blonde one that made fun of the limp was just one in a very long row of them. There was another one that they thought could have workedâŠbut she got into earhsattering, screaming arguments with seemingly everybody she came across. Master liked his quietness, that wasnât going to work eitherâŠ
Another few that didnât want a serious relationship even when they said they did, which was completely fine but made them useless for the shadows purposes⊠The Shadows were halfway ready to give up in Velaris and start trying again in another city of the Night Court, when they came across her in a dark back alley.
Across her and probably the dirtiest and ugliest feral cat that the shadows had ever seen.The ugliest cat they had ever seen that she was clearly trying to entice to come home with her.
âH-hey, swe...sweetie,â she whispered, her voice stuttering. She was crouched down o the floor. âWaâWant to go somewhere warâwarmer?â
The cat meowed pitifully and the shadows watched as she wrapped the cat up in the scarf she had worn, not for one moment caring that the cat was goign to ruin it.Â
The shadows couldnât help but keep watching, their curiosity piqued. She was clearly not concerned about the dirt or the torn scarf, and she was attempting to bond with this mangy feral cat. This showed a level of compassion and patience that they hadnât often come across in their search.Â
She seemed determined to help the cat, and the shadows couldn't help but admire her tenacity.Â
The cat looked horribly, with matted, dirty fur, two eyes that stared in two different direction and an overbite. Somehow it reminded the Shadows of Master.Â
Not with the way it lookedâŠmore in the way it pitfully stayed quiet and didnât attack the female, even as she picked it up, wrapped in her scarf and then took it home.Â
She smiled at the mangly back alley cat with so much adoration that the shadows wondered where it was even coming from. Her face was alight with joy as the cat rubbed her head against her fingertips.
The shadows followed along as she brought the cat to her apartment.
It was tiny. Tiny and absolutely stuffed full with books. So many books. Like somebody had tried to stuff the whole library of the Hose of Wind in this little apartment overlooking the harbour.
She had so many bookcases lining the walls, books in little stacks on her dining table and coffee tableâŠor simply stacked on the floor. It was cozy and cluttered and utterly charming. Her passion for literature spilled out of every corner of her home.Â
The Shadows couldnât help but wonder what kin of person would choose to filll their living space with so many books.Â
Apparently a person that had no problem with spending the better part of an hour bathing the cat in her kitchen sink.Â
Weren't cats supposed to not to like water?
This one didn't seem to care. This one sat calmly in her sink and attemptsed to bite the stream of water flowing from the faucet...which meant it snuffled and sneezed for the big majority of the bath. She soaped him up twice, muttering a constant stream of reassurances that the cat doesn't seem to actually need, given the catâs complete lack of distress at being repeatedly soaked.
And still she talked to it, constantly, the stutter omnipresent. She showed a remarkable amount of patience and care as she cleaned and combed the feral cat, gently and painstakingly combing out every single matted strand of hair and making sure the cat was clean and comfortable.
The shadows couldn't help but be slightly taken aback. She seemed completely focused on making sure the cat was happy and healthy, and she didn't even seem to mind that she was making a mess of her kitchen in the process.Â
ââShe scooped said up in a fluffy towel, rubbing it up and the cat purred, looking at her with two eyes that stared in two different directions. It was still the ugliest cat the shadows had ever seen, but she seemed to utterly adore it.
"You need - need a name," she told the cat seriously. She seemed to take this decision very seriously, as if the cat's name was a reflection of his identity. The cat in question was clearly enjoying the attention, purring contentedly as it was rubbed with a fluffy towel. "I thi-ink you are a boy. How about...Hector," she said finally, as if she had carefully considered many options before settling on this one. "I think it suits you.â
"How about some tu...tuna, Hector?" she asked him seriously. "I'll even give...give you the good crystal."
She couldnât be serious, could she?
Apparently, she was. She fed the mangy back alley cat from a fancy little crystal dish that she put a tin of tuna into with a flourish, putting out another dish with water right next to it.Â
She slipped off the apron she had put on, printed with ditsy little florals and sat down next to the cat. Hector happily scarfed down everything she was offering and then came to curl himself up on her lap. âI have a bad track record with males,â she told the cat seriously. âThey end up cheating on me with my sister.â
The statement caught the shadows off guard. What?Â
Despite that admission she she continued to gently stroke the cat in her lap, clearly finding some comfort in his company. "I'll feed you all the tuna I can find, if you keep me company," she told the cat softly. "I could really use some company."
That wasnâtâŠthat wasnât what the shadows had expected. Bu the Hector purre, the sound rough and growly and she giggled, sounding sweet and incandescently happy.Â
She wanted companionship. That was clear. And she was also used to beng the second choice, when the males she had been with, had cheated on her with her sister.Â
They were intrigued.Â
They kept watching, hiding between her books, that seemed to span every which genre as she got ready for bed.Â
She took a bath, and they watched as she let down her hair from the thick braided bun it had been kept it, ripples of chocolate brown tresses falling down her backâŠshe was pretty too.Â
Pretty with dark hair and blue eyes, with lush curves that were swathed into a pair of blue silk pyjamas.
She opened a chest at the end of her wrought iron bed, going through it for a moment and then pulling out a fluffy blanket, into which she wrapped Hector in.Â
âHere, you..you can have that one,â she said softly, placing the cat at the end of her bed. âLetâs go to sleep.â
And so she went to sleep, curled up between floral sheets, and the cat purring at her feed and the shadows watched.Â
They stayed. Â
While she slept, they explored her house, searching for everything that they could learn about her. Searched for a name and her job or her hobbies andâŠ
The answer was found in the desk that was tucked beneath her window in the living room.Â
Dozens of pages filled with loopy handwriting were covering it. Drafts of her newest novel. A romance novel.Â
Just a few moments later they found a stack of lettersâŠand then were very confused for a little while, because there were letters addressed to two different females. Skylar AldenâŠand one Sellyn Drake.Â
It took them a moment until they realised that both names contained the same letters.
Skylar Alden was Sellyn Drake.
Sellyn Drake, the bestselling romance author. Sellyn Drake, who Lady Death loved to read. Sellyn Drake, whose identity was a secret...
Skylar Alden was Sellyn Drake.Â
Skylar Alden, who seemed to prefer to be called Sky, signing everything with just these three letterâŠand who doted on Hector, the ugly cat..She was also Sellyn Drake, Bestselling Romance Novel Author extraordinaire.Â
And she seemed very much content with keeping that a secret.Â
But why?Â
Why did she chose to hide her identity? Was she afraid of the fame that came with success? Or did she prefer to remain anonymous and blend in with the everyday world?Â
The Shadows were intrigued.Â
Was this the only secret Sky was hiding?Â
The Shadows kept an eye her over the following days.Â
They waited for her to do something that would put her out of the running as Masterâs wife. Waited for her to have some kind of flaw that they couldn't deal with...but there was nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
They closely monitored her every move, and half the time she didnât even leave her apartment, preferring to stay curled up inside, write her books, and cuddle with Hector, the cat.
For cauldronâs sakeâŠshe even knitted the ugly cat a sweater so he wouldnât get cold because his belly didnât have any fur after she had removed all these mats!
There was nothing, absolutely nothing, that they could find in her life that could even be construed as unkind.Â
Sky had a bank account that was full thanks to the books she wroteâŠand all she paid for with it, was her rent, her food, her regular mail orders of more booksâŠShe even donated to one of the orphanages in Velaris, for crying outloud!Â
Sometimes she went down to the fishmonger and bought ridiculously expensive tuna for Hector, who she spoiled rotten.Â
Though that one trip to the harbourâŠwhere the shadows hid in her handbagâŠwell, that one trip explained why she seemed more than content to stay in the privacy of her own home for most of the time.Â
Her stutter got exponentially worse when she tried to talk to another person, when it wasnât just herself and the cat that she liked reading her books aloud to...Â
Especially when the person she tried to talk to was an impatient fishmonger that rolled his eyes at her stutter. The Shadows as Skyâs cheeks turned a ruddy red, embarrassment clouding around her thickly.Â
The shadows silently bristled.Â
She acquired her tuna, paid silently and then kept her head down as she headed back home, cheeks still read, while blue, blue eyes filled with tears.Â
And thatâŠthat was just pissing the shadows off.Â
She hadnât even been doing anything! She had just stuttered while asking for fish!
It wasnât like she was doing this on purpose!
One tendril from the Shadows darted out of her bag, waiting until Sky was far enough away that that idiotic fishmonger wouldnât think she had anything to do with itâŠ
And then they only needed to loose that pesky little screw that kept one of the legs of his table attachedâŠScrew you, Fishmonger. Let that be a lesson to be nicer to other peopleÂ
Another customer accidentally jostled said table just seconds later and the shadows snickered to themselves as the fish went flying.Â
The tendril silently returned to Skyâs handbag, as she made her way back home.Â
Hector got some of the Tuna cut up into small pieces on the good crystal bowlâŠand Sky gently scratched him behind his ears the whole time.Â
The Shadows silently wondered if Master would enjoy being scratched behind his ears, as well.Â
âIâll ha--have dinner with my family toâŠtonight. Youâll stay here, al-alright? Iâll be back soon,â she promised the cat.Â
Hector just purred at her, nuzzling against her hand before the cat began to dig into the tuna as though he would never be fed again.
Her family. Well, the Shadows would totally come along for thatâŠwho knew, maybe her family was just as lovely as she was!
They were not in fact as lovely, as she was.
It started with the very first words of her mother who opened the door, Sky juggling her purse and a paper covered tray from a bakery: âDid you bring dessert? Itâs not like you should eat any of that.â
Sky paused at her mother's words, the small smile that had graced her face vanishing like water in the sand.
And then it returned, but the difference between her true smile and her fake smile were so... stark.
"Hi-i. I brou⊠I brought cake," she said, holding out the tray towards her. "Where do youâŠ.Whe-ere doâŠwhere do-o you want me toâŠto put it?"
Her voice was shaking. And she was stutteringâŠstuttering even worse than she had done with that fishmonger.
âTalk properly, Skylar,â her mother admonished her harshly. âPut it in the kitchen.â
Sky gave a small nod, but her eyes were downcast as the Shadows followed her into the house.Â
The Shadows were...not impressed with Sky's mother. It was clear that her stutter wasnât something that she could help, but instead was something that came out stronger when she was nervous or anxious or around other people.Â
Sky set the cake on the counter and glanced towards the dining room. The table was already set, surrounded by other people, that the shadows took in, while hiding in the curtains of the living room:Â
Skyâs mother was taller than her, blonde and grey eyed. The shadows also got their first glimpse at what probably was her sister. Looking just like her mother, tall and slenderâŠaccompanied by a red haired male. And then there was another blonde male, probably a brotherâŠand an older male, who must be her father. At least he shared her dark hair.
âAh there you are Skylar,â the blonde female greeted her, her voice sickly sweet.
"Hi Claire. Hi-iâŠeverâŠeveryone," she murmured looking as though she would rather be anywhere but here.
Her eyes briefly flitted to her father. He gave a small nod, but otherwise he looked⊠indifferent. As though he did not even care.
"We've been waiting for you," her mother said, her voice sharp and curt, "Sit." Sky didn't respond, just moved quickly to the table. She settled down in one of the empty spots, clasping her hands on her lap.
"...Is this what you call fashion?" her sister scoffed.
Sky looked down at her outfit.Â
As far as the shadows could tell, there was nothing wrong with it. I cream coloured blouse, a blue skirtâŠIt was a rather pretty outfit in the Shadow's opinion. Sky looked beautiful and charming to them.Â
âDid you gain weight, again?â The red haired male said with a roll of his eyes. âYou always had a horrible sweet tooth.â
What.Â
Since when did that make polite dinner conversation?
Sky didn't respond, even when the shadows could see her hands tightening around each other, looking down as her mother let out an exasperated sigh. âYouâll never find a male like this,â her mother snorted. âMales donât like it if girls donât keep up their appearances. The least you could do is try.â
"I'm...sor...re...sorry," the stuttering had gotten worse, Sky practically shrinking into her seat. She was fidgeting, looking as though she wanted to disappear into herself and the Shadows wished that they could just sweep her far away from here.
âHow is work?â Her brother asked flatly at that moment. âStill editing your stupid romance novels? I still think you should do something slightly more useful.â
So even they didnât know.Â
Sellyn Drake was a secret even from her family. But then, if her family talked to her like that and it wasâŠnormalâŠthen the shadows werenât surprised.Â
âWhat else is she supposed to do?â the red haired male asked with a snort. âItâs not like she has any skills.â
Sky flinched, not looking at him. The shadows wondered if that was one of the males that had cheated on her with her sister.Â
âOh, come on, Admon. She has some skills,â her sister said at that moment, giving another winning smile. âShe can annoy everybody around her with her inability to speak properly.âÂ
Wow.Â
Sky didnât even flinch. Sky did nothing.Â
She just...sat there through all the comments. Sky didn't even try to defend herself.
The whole dinner went by like that. Comment after comment after comment. About her work, about her body, about her clothing, about her stutter⊠Sky barely had any dinner because every time she picked up her fork with food on it, her mother was shooting her a sharp look. So she left most of the food on her plate and the shadows wanted to bristle.Â
She maybe wasnât as thin as her mother or her sister but that didnât make her any less beautiful or any less deserving of food!Â
When they werenât making prickly comments about sky, her older brother Orin and Claire, her sister were only talking about themselves. It was quite useful only because the shadows learned stuff like the fact that Claire and Admon were engaged to be married and that Orin was working at a bankâŠ
But none of that information made it worth for them to treat her like that.Â
Eventually the dinner finally ended after what felt like an eternity. Sky looking as though she could hardly wait to leave. She rose, and the Shadows quickly into her purse her as she grabbed her purse and her jacket.
"Leaving already?" her mother frowned, standing as well.Â
"IâŠIt's getâŠgettingâŠlate." Sky said, her eyes not even lifting to look at her mother.
The words were barely out of her mouth before her mother's hand darted out, gripping her jaw tightly and causing the Shadows to let out a warning hiss. Sky winced in pain as her mother forced her to look up.
âAt least try to be polite, if you are utterly useless.â
Sky's eyes widened in pain as her lip wobbled. She looked as though she was going to cry, her hands clenching and unclenching as she tried to stay calm. "I'mâŠsor-r-r-ry." She whispered.
But her mother didn't even release her grip. "Don't talk to me like you are the one being wronged. Look at you. Who would want you like this?"
The Shadows bristled at her mother's words. Everyone would want her like this, they thought angrily. We would want her like this.
Sky swallowed thickly, trying to fight her tears. She was trembling, trembling from head to toe.
"I'm sor-rry. Pl-please. Let me go." She stammered.
Her mother simply sneered, and shoved her backwards, Sky nearly falling as she stumbled. "You'll never amount to anything." She said coldly. "You're nothing more than a disappointment."
Sky looked absolutely mortified at her mother's words, tears starting to fall from her eyes as she looked down at her feet. She looked like a wounded animal, like someone who had given up. And it made the Shadows burn with anger. How could her own family be so cruel to her? Didn't they see how kind she was? Or howâŠhow sweet she was?
Sky took a step backwards, and then she was running, practically fleeing out the door, rushing into the night. She was almost running, her breaths ragged as every gasp she took sounded as though she was trying to smother her sobs.
Finally, she slowed down, but didn't stop walking.
She just kept walking, her head down, tears still falling down from her wide eyes. Finally, she slowed down, but didn't stop walking. She made her way back home, shoulders caved in, looking utterly and completely miserable, as opened her door with her keyâŠand then the damn burst.Â
And she collapsed right on the floor in her hallway, great, heaving sobs escaping her. Â
And the shadows just knew one thing with utter certainty: They were going to fix this. They were going to fix this for her and Master.
Even when it was the last fucking thing they did.Â
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