#i just... miss her ig
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My former best friend who lives with my family has invited over the friend group that she's made explicitly clear I'm not welcome to join. I keep hearing them laughing from the other room and it feels like twisting the knife. I want to cry
#i want my old friend back#who actually cared about me enough to have patience for my bullshit and not get annoyed when i say things like#'this makeup has to stay on the counter so it doesn't fall apart please stop putting it in ths bathroom drawers'#i miss drinking tea out of a pumpkin shaped tea pot#and listening to the rain#and having deep conversations in an in-and-out drive-through#i just... miss her ig#and it sucks that she no longer exists#personal#vent
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05/13/2024
‼️needed ASAP!!!‼️
Hey, so one of my coworkers at my job just quit this week and management off loaded all their hours on to me bc our department is short staffed
I now have multiple full shifts this week with no food for lunches! I've been skipping meals at work due to lack of funds and my body really can't take it anymore! I need to be able to feed myself.
I need $180 for groceries for my lunches plus household toiletries, I'm having a real rough time before I get paid, pls lend a hand if you Can!!
CA: $lezsalt or $sleepyhen
VM: wildwotko
Dm 4 PP
#sorry we are poor#shout out to her for standing up to managements bullshit#but like girl im gonna miss you 😭#now im just surrounded by cishet dudes#thank you for the hours ig but i need to eat i cant just keep enduring
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what gets me about the shadow/maria dynamic is that it takes the trope of "weak helpless girl dies for a tragic plot device" and subverts it
Maria wasn't helpless in her fate. She did have a choice. Shadow would have been strong enough to protect them both (Where else could they even go? Would he need to hurt someone?) but instead she made a choice to protect Shadow.
Shadow's story isn't tragic because he failed to protect Maria and now spends the rest of his life tormented over it. Shadow's story is tragic because he is the strongest creature alive, but raw power isn't always enough, and his loving friend made a sacrifice to let him go hoping she was giving him a chance to learn compassion because she was strong!
Maria's purpose isn't that she's a weak little girl who dies. Maria's legacy is that she protects the strongest creature alive, and teaches it the strength of love.
Her character gives the moment purpose, not the other way around. Her willingness to die so he can go free, asking him to use his strength to protect the people of Earth, despite everything. It's her proof of love that gives Shadow's burden that kind of extreme weight. Shadow will live forever and with so much limitless power, would life be easy to discard without a second thought? Not Maria's. Not when she asked him to protect it. That weight will remind him, always.
#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#maria robotnik#sonic movie 3#ill just be really super bummed if they miss the point of her death ig#dont dismiss her as just the sad little girl who gets killed and decide that isnt good enough for her character#it can mean SO much if you are big brained. dont waste the moment by pretending it shouldnt happen#i love “maria lives" aus. i will eat that shit up ALL DAY#but THEY feel so good because i know THIS is what she did for him. this is how much she loved him#ok?
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fly high
#my art#ildari sarothril#flat chested queen#the scar on her face is just decorative to make her look more outwardly scary but she probably got it when n*loth missed some spell on -#- accident or something and she walked off her face almost being torn in half like a man so that n*loth wouldn't think she's a little -#- bitch for crying even though she;s never experienced that type of pain in her life and couldn't even fathom it up to that point and it -#- gave her permanent brain damage#i learned to draw her just so i could put her in my dr*gon ball au cause i figured out who she will be but she's FUN ok#also i still don't like white hair on dunmer Bruh but hers can be explained by her greying in 0.0004 after n*loth ripped her chest open#idk she's been through a lot ig :)
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I FORGOT TO THROW OUT AFTER THE EPISODE RELEASED NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
#hand jumper#webtoon#sayeon lee#heron#ig??? BRUH..................#these fireworks are going to SET ME ON FIRE!!!!#but that's alr i guess!!!!!!!!!#because charcoal grilled prawn literally solves all my problems#before thinking about killing people i need everyone to sit down and think of their favourite food#and manifest the version of them that has it!!!!!!!!#maybe then all compulsions and intrusions of the mind can just go away#what if we all just pictured better versions of ourselves and just did it!!!#if we all stretched out our hands and tried we can at least live in the world knowing we did try!!#and it's better than not trying!!!!! AND BEING USELESS PIECES OF ROTTING GARBAGE!!!!!!#idk i've had a shit three years man i don't think i can take this any longer#IGNORE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#AND INSTEAD NOW LET'S THINK OF THE GOODIES YOU'RE GONNA GET IN TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#or now if you offer up your wallet to OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR sleepacross#and for the SMALL price of 5USD that's right 5USD!!!! this is to the people with credit/debit cards ofc#YOU CAN ACCESS THE GOATACROSS QNA BECAUSE IT IS PEAK!!!!!!#but just because the juninators[on here in case they aren't in the server] need to hear this so we can all sing happy birthday to her#INSTEAD OF MISSING IT FOR TWO YEARS#AND HAVING A WHOLE WINTER/CHRISTMAS COMPETITION IN DISCORD WITH MEMES AND ALL WITHOUT THIS CRUCIAL INFORMATION!!!!!!!#I THINK BECAUSE I KEEP THESE IN TAGS IT'S SAFE TO SAY THAT HER BIRTHDAY IS DEC 24TH AND WE SHOULD ALL SAY HAPPY LATE/HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY#TO OUR BELOVED QUEEN JUNI CHANG#BECAUSE NOW I JUST SHAFTED A 40K WIP I NEVER FINISHED FOR LAST YEAR'S WINTER SEASON FOR THE CHRISTMAS EPISODE OF 2024 IN THE RECYCLE BIN!!#BUT NOW WE CAN GIVE HER QUINTICE THE AMOUNT OF GIFTS THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!! SO LET'S DO THAT INSTEAD!!!!#ONE FOR HER BIRTHDAY!!!! ONE FOR CHRISLER!!! ONE FOR CIVIL SERVICE APPRECIATION DAY!!!!!#ANOTHER FOR BEING PEAK MENTOR!!!!! AND ANOTHER ONE FOR BEING GOD'S SILLIEST SOLDIER!!!![in our hearts!!]#APOLOGIES AS ALWAYS IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR HERE!!!! AND A GOOD EVENING TO YOU ALL!!!!
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okay pooks... hear me out..
please hear me out..
#inside out 2#inside out joy#inside out#insideout#HEAR ME OUT OKAY??#pearl x#this is an au about joy going insane ig#ITS JUST FUNNT HOW PEOPLE COMPARE HER TO PEARL FROM STEVEN UNIVERSE WHILE HER OUTSIDE IN REMINDS ME OF PEARL#I miss Pearl from X bro#watch the movie yall its a great one loolll#SHES A STAR!!!!#joy inside out
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Complaining abt Suicide Squad yet again but the fact that they have Waller exposing the alien community to space racist attacks and talking abt how she got to her position through deceit and being a terrible person and stuff is just. Ahsfiwueh JUST SAY YOU DONT KNOW WALLER.
Anyways literally the 3rd mission of the Squad ever (and the first framed as smth Waller picked and not orders from above) was the Squad discrediting and stopping a rogue vigilante who was only arresting POC and funneling white people into white supremacy groups (of which he was the most prominent member) in SUICIDE SQUAD #4. and it's explicitly framed as this mission being personal for Waller that she's hiding from the government bc its illegal like. Guys. Please why are we having her incite (space bc comics) racist attacks now
Also the whole "Amanda got her position through deceit and being a terrible person" NO. she KEPT her position through being shitty and playing complicated political games!!! She wasn't always that way like there is a difference and it is IMPORTANT ppl PLEASEEEE. In Secret Origins #14 we learn Amanda's backstory and she used to be a normal, caring person! Like even after she entered into working in government and politics she wasn't automatically morally bankrupt like please people. She was originally given control of the Squad by Reagan (*sigh* 80s comics...) to distract and get rid of her because she was so successful at pushing progressive social policy in Congress. Acting like she's this static pillar of evil is such a waste of her character and so fucking uninteresting and disrespectful to her arc it drives me MAD.
Like I am NOT saying Waller is all sunshine and rainbows, she fucking SUCKS (said w love <3) but like there's a human being there. It's a progression, she has a character arc like please, DC, please!!! They've fucked up Waller so bad and made her so opaque and uninteresting she can't even be the protagonist of her own story for fucks sake!
Like I don't know how many times I have to scream it until DC hears me or remembers but WALLER IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF SUICIDE SQUAD. ITS HER BOOK. yet right now she's a cutout to be used as the villain wherever the writers please. Even in her book we get none of her perspective really displayed, no exploration of her thoughts with any kind of understanding of the role she traditionally has played and was made to play in the story.
#its like youre unable to root for her in any form. which is annoying bc shes actually awesome actually#also having her say “actually im the good guy fuck you'' w/o any actual deep analysis of her psyche or whatever while doing these things#doesnt count as development or showing shes 3 dimensional. its just having 2 dimensional waller say shes right when everyone is obviously#supposed to believe shes wrong#anyways i want real waller back please i miss herrrrrrrr#anyways hope mr john ridley has read secret origins no 14. i know its from 1987 but please guys please. my only hope#also it was a few months ago but i think they tried to push certain elements of a diff backstory in dream team and sorry but fuck that. and#any mention of another waller background like my eyes are closed sry. im a preboot truther#actually im just ignorant of most squad comics outside the original series. im gonna do a readthrough and become knowledgeable on other#stuff i just need to find time. so if im wrong then sorry if its smth factual and if you disagree with my opinion then uh sorry for ur loss#anyways shoutout to the time i had a nerd night w my one friend and she was asking me abt dc and said my favorite villains and i said waller#and silver swan. and she had a “yuck WHY” to waller and a ???? to silver swan. love shouting out my faves and explaining them to the less#informed. didnt say a number 3 but would probably be parallax ig. idk hes kind of slay. or maybe someone else honestly i like hal but waller#and nessie are blorbo level for me i could think abt them for hours#or maybe it wouldnt be parallax actually idk who my 3 would be. hes definitely up there but way below the other 2. maybe the cheetah#interpretation that i personally have. v different from the popular cheetah interpretation esp rucka vers actually. much closer to the pérez#and esp develops some subtext there surrounding barbara and the exploitation and theft of sacred cultural artifacts and pieces but also#like british colonization a lil bit#but i actually despise the cheetah that lives in my head but think shed be interesting to use narratively and see diana fight#vs the other guys who i find interesting and sympathetic and like for themselves#whereas my fave interpretation of cheetah can rot in hell#i got off topic here#blah#swishy rant#also disclaimer that w the main character ik dreamer is the main character of dream team. im talking more in general and that amanda should#always have a huge role as shes the main character of the squad and yet is treated like its villain and not its protag#sui sq
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i love that in the autumn side stories katelyn doesn't want to go on a date with aphmau, but it's not because she's not gay it's because she's a fucking loser with no relationship experience and she doesn't think aphmau would have fun. and honestly that's so in character for her
#this era of katelyn was a treasure#katelyn was so quick to clarify it to#she had to make sure aphmau knew she was gay#but also a fucking loser#this whole episode was a treat#its just 17 minutes of katemau flirting#and katelyn being a fucking cutie#the whole episode is just aphmau and laurance wanting to make katelyn smile#they love her so much 🥺#they just wanted to see her have fun and enjoy herself#i miss the diaries besties 😔#lucinca also tells Katelyn she'll become a noodle of spaghetti and have fun on her date#shes straight till you get her wet ig#aphmau#minecraft diaries#mcd#katelyn the firefist#laurence zvhal#lucinda mcd
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Hi? Gosh how do I even start with this :'D
I know it's been ages since I've last popped up on here. I've been debating when to post this for a while, but I kept adding to my draft more and more and now it's the end of JULY omgg I felt so guilty disappearing with zero updates but then thought my birthday would be the best day to finally address this considering it'll feel less random? idk but Ive always celebrated my bday with you guys and I'd feel so bad answering your kind asks without me at least explaining why I was gone for months.
Truth be told, I was dealing with a lot of stuff irl. health issues and sudden declining grades that left me stumped and drained for months now- along with technical issues like having to replace some parts of my computer that took a while for me to find to even draw digitally, which I didn't have the time for anyway with how tired and weary I felt every day.
I'm frankly shaken up by a lot of shit rn and I don't know how to be active online with this burden on my chest- Especially as it's been a while since I've even looked at utmv related content and my motivation dwindled. I swear I'd hype myself up to post or reblog something- but I'd see just how much I've missed or the overwhelming amount of posts I'd need to go through and I'd feel so swamped with exhaustion and most importantly guilt, for not clearing the air up sooner to reassure you guys that I'm, y'know, alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. And I'd procrastinate cause typing it all out is hard and I'd give up halfway every time and it's just not fair to you all!
I thought I was handling it well when I started going out and socializing more, instead of staying cooped up at home on my computer all day. and in the first draft of this post I made months ago I was gonna detail some of the fun plans I had, for my life and for this blog :D but relaxing my strict study schedule and letting go a bit of my tight routine, thinking it was better than wringing myself dry to keep it up, backfired horribly, to say the least.
I know right?? so silly to be hung up on stupid shit like studies of all things! but this is a very important thing for me considering my career plans and the competitivity encouraged by everyone I'm surrounded by, the pressure of keeping up adding to my already stressful days. I had to fix myself up first and I couldn't handle the strain nor interact with people and thinking of jobs and exams sapped my energy so much it's frankly embarrassing. writing this feels so cheesy too and it frustrates me to know I could've come back a month earlier if it weren't for that, but I also know putting all of this into words then would just sound like incoherent venting (not that this is very different tbf) and I wasn't in the right headspace to address my absence, or anything really- I didn't want everyone to see me return when I couldn't muster up a genuinely positive message, let alone talk to anyone with a shadow of my usual cheer
I feel like a complete mess and It drives me up the wall how depressed I've gotten. I debated deleting this blog so many times 'cause the fear of disappointing my audience and my friends, for lack of a more fitting sentiment, made me feel even shittier. I'm constantly thinking if this wall of text is worth posting, or if it's better not to burden you all with all my sappy troubles as if it's the end of the world. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'm not trying to dramatize this situation, but I don't think I'm up to pretending I'm all sunshine and enthusiasm you're all accustomed to.
So sorry for worrying you all! I'll try to catch up, deliver some missed birthday gifts, and answer some asks while I'm at it! Again, I can't state how much I appreciate your support throughout the years. It's frankly a miracle I kept any of you around with how much I keep popping and leaving at random with no warning. I definitely can't promise for my stay to be without a hitch, and if you don't mind an inconsistent schedule you're free to stay of course, but I'm afraid I can't sustain the pace I had when I first started this blog. I'll keep posting art, but lower my activity in the fandom sphere to reduce the strain on my mental health. so fewer rants and walls of text, more art, and less stress overall. Love you all and thanks for waiting for this long <3
#I'm not leaving the fandom btw! Just realized it kinda sounds like I will but I won't!#Still got my fem versions and some animations to spice things up in case I feel less inclined to draw my resident skeles lol#To the people that reached out before this thank you SO much!!!#I know this is not gonna reach many people considering my leave but i deeply appreciate it<3#I wouldn't be surprised if people forgot why they even followed me in the first place with how long I've left this time Hhhh#There's some plans about commissions as well cause no matter how many times I fix this poor pc it keeps failing me lmao#And I wanna try my hand at it to feel less pressured and dependent on my academics :')#It's a scary thought and an even scarier process and idk if you guys will be interested? but that's for another post ig >:)c#muah muah ily all thanks for EVERYTHING cause I'd restart this blog all anew if I didn't have so many people that I'd miss around here >:'D#blah blah Yuri is back on her bs so get ready for some banger art!!#To any mutual reading this pleaaaase bear with me if I don't reblog your art immediately#cause I've been tagged on a few and I wanna give them five tags each at minimum and I don't know where to start HHH#If there's something specific you want me to see you're welcome to tag me In it but don't be discouraged I haven't gotten to it yet!#This is So long I'm genuinely sorry aughghg 😭
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i've been wanting to redesign the old mlp gijinkas i had as a teenager for forever so i did some sketches of our beloved earth pony besties!
#i need to practice drawing muscles more aj doesn't look nearly beefy enough for me#she's built like a brick shithouse and anyone who says otherwise is a fool ( /hj )#also i'm not sure if i'm happy with pinkie's outfit it still needs some work#i wanted to give her a skirt + pants combo but idk if it's working for me#i used to draw her with legwarmers and i kinda miss them...#i still like these doodles tho don't get me wrong#just rambling about my own design commentary ig#i need to go to bed now...#my little pony#my little pony: friendship is magic#mlp fim#mlp g4#mlp humanized#mlp gijinka#pinkie pie#applejack#🎨 : mj draws
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NAOMI: …Everyone should join me. I'm... so... lonely... YUKA: Big brother, I'm so lonely...
two different girls, two different deaths, only one thing to say to the boy who failed them.
#corpse party#corpse party rebuilt#satoshi mochida#naomi nakashima#yuka is there..... in spirit ;DDDD#get it bc shes dead. this is the ending where both naomi and yuka dieeeee#anyway i know this ending was ported in PART to bloodcovered but like... not the naomi part... thats the BEST part... ig it just didnt work#something about satoshis greatest fear being that theyll be lonely .#also he let both the girl he loved and his little sister die by his cowardice.#no wonder hes feelin haunted lol. also hes literally being haunted.#interestingly it takes .5 seconds for ghosts (even nice ones like yuka and naomi) to turn evil in rebuilt?!!??! they NERFED the school l8r?#it takes. so. long. in the other games. not here. ^_^ its been 5 minutes naomi has made up her mind she wants 2 kill now.#i will always love rebuilt :3#my nyart#ofc i have 180000 alternate versions ig ill put em on insta as usualllllll#i miss queue#as always i am queueing bc its 3 am
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hear me tf out but anyone else clock Kona in the new episode of skeleton crew??? my brain immediately went new trans just dropped
#her ig says shes samoan which like clones aside having Polynesian people in sw besides jango is great#and them being like pirates or just space equivalent of out on the sea is good shit#but my little gay brain went#brown lady dark hair kind of composer but gruff IN WHITE ARMOUR and silvo being like imagine having ur own command a legion! etc#TRANS SPACE CLONE??? WHO IS LIKE LOW KEY LIKE I MISS HAVING A BATTALION#im gonna make my own one day run it better than the gar and kick the shit out of anyone in my way#its like if u squint and rly want it#skeleton crew#sw skeleton crew#sw spoilers#sw kona
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prob late to the party on this one but we realized yesterday that the tv world dungeons in p4 are literally just palaces from p5- i think the differences are just the specific circumstances, it's like the exact same phenomenon-
#rambearling#persona 4#p4#persona 5#p5#i think the tv world is straight-up just the metaverse from p5. though idk how the dark hour and tartarus fit into this-#we've admittedly only watched p5 and haven't played it ourselves so forgive me if i'm missing something#we've watched our moms play it like a bearzillion times but that's not the exact same as playing it-#the one problem with this is that in p5 futaba's palace collapses after she accepts her shadow#even though that doesn't happen with the p4 dungeons#but ig she was prob also the treasure or something like that idk tbh hgcfxfdhdg-
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more keykid things!!!!!!!!!!!! The design's based on my original player character avatar i used when i was active on khux with a few swaps (mainly cause i had no idea there was a moogle headband lol)
#she's around 15 during khux#when i first made her she was a deliverygirl for the moogle shop hence the sack on her back haha#man i cant believe shes almost 8 years old now that's really weird to think about#also im an oldhead on khux i always thought the colosseum ranking outfits were so good but they stopped doing that on the first year i thin#so a lot of people missed out on so many good outfits and it made me sad#but they let you use any avatar part now in the offline ver so actually its fine lol#i had an alternate outfit i used that was just the ursus regalia armor bc i rly liked the lux particles#but thats not really a flex bc ursus was the lowest ranking union for the entirety of the game's lifecycle rip#i was in vulpes for the first few years but i switched over to ursus to get better ranking prizes bc i could be in a top 5 ranking union lo#anyways#im rambling in my tags oops#talking#ig#kingdom hearts#khux#keykid#oc
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still kind of shocked about how quickly my hype for Genshin's Natlan region faded like I never expected something like this to happen this fast...
#abbey doesn't play genshin impact#it's just... knowing that this is the final act of the Natlan AQ#and having THE Mavuika in the banner isn't enough#THE MAVUIKA. THE PYRO ARCHON.#I feel nothing I don't feel like I'm missing anything#and for a gacha to fail at provoking fomo... your product has to be extremely uninteresting#of course I'm super happy about people who love it! I wish that were me#and I'll reblog the gorgeous gifsets and all#but man... wow...#I also read some spoilers and leaks and my god it just doesn't seem to get better 😭#one of the leaks stated Furina will be rerunning in 5.4#so I'll just enter the game pull for her because I love her#and then... I'll leave again probably#that's so sad#but ig it's better this way#the less gacha games the better#it just feels a lil bad because I literally came back to the game last year and I enjoyed my time w it#and now I'm leaving it again#maybe it's just not for me#I've struggled with liking characters for example#and characters are too important in these games#in fact the only ones I loved were Wanderer Nahida Navia and Furina#the rest are just okay#just likable enough I feel like#anyway end of rant#sorry for the negativity
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while I can't say I've encountered nearly as many Radiant Garden fans as you probably have in order for that to jump to mind, I actually did find myself really agreeing with your take on it. I totally thought I was missing some cutscenes for a while, like maybe I just hadn't seen something that was in the manga or in the DS version of 358/2 days, but no. people actually do just extrapolate off of nothing. and while that's fine for the most part, I never see this level of dedication being put in for female characters. as a huge Aqua fan it's frustrating that she has so many interesting qualities that I'd love to see explored but DON'T because most of the fandom would rather extrapolate from a guy with 4 seconds of screen time than even think about her. unless she's being shipped with Terra, I guess. I think the R.G. folks are just a microcosm of that bigger issue--they'd dig into the earth's fucking mantle looking for gold in an emo boy before digging six feet down for a woman
salt under the cut (i won’t make this a habit i promise)
adjdjcnsnxn that’s an incredible way to put it i might steal that phrasing… see like again i understand the ienzo thing purely from a life situation point of view. if a lil boy was an orphan raised by sketchy weirdos in a lab and then at the ripe old age of 8 had the whole losing-his-heart-and-growing-up-less-than-human-raised-in-a-cult thing. sure i’d want to explore that too! i’d read farther into it than canon. but literally where is the passion for aqua or kairi or skuld etc etc… i mean the girls have their fans but like no one is out here constructing an entire elaborate universe out of them. like i do my best but it’s hard work… but i mean that’s hardly surprising right. that’s how the story goes
honestly ienzo fans don’t even make me mad it’s more like i get annoyed when ppl obsess over like. aeleus and dilan.. because respectfully and i say this with love. there is *nothing* there. they didn’t even bother bringing back their vas in kh3. they are filler. why do all the shifty weirdo radiant garden men draw rabid fans but heaven forbid the ladies get love. hold on *approaches hornet’s nest with a baseball bat* i think there’s something about specifically adult fictional men that- ((i reconsider and stop myself))
but like. people are allowed to do whatever they want idk at worst it’s annoying when they start attacking others over alleged mischaracterization. yes i know in your fun and admittedly interesting fantasy he acts like this. but you cannot get mad when another fan portrays him the way we see him in canon lollllllllll
#but that’s enough negativity. lemme just say: shoutout to the people who DO extrapolate from the girls#kairi fans around these parts are so so cool. give her an inferiority complex!#give her loneliness and guilt so crushing she’ll jump headfirst into any insanity or danger to relieve herself of it!#it isn’t making stuff up it’s just exploring canon further!!#people who make fan works for kairi with genuine love in their hearts NEVERRRRR miss it’s so good#aqua benefitted immensely from 0.2 it’s basically just a character study#like that was exactly what she needed. all that latent crushing weight in bbs being brought up properly#now i wish they’d explore the implications of finally being back in normal reality after having been alone in darkness in warped time#and like the aftereffects of being anti-aqua and plus having had to fight her friends#and coming to terms with the reality that the world has aged 11 years around her but she hasn’t#basically like i want her to have ptsd and dysphoria of sorts#canon is probably too cowardly to take the time to do that so like ig it falls to fans. but i’m happy with what we’ve gotten so far#skuld as subject x fans. celestial trio fans. again they make such amazing work for something that technically isn’t even confirmed yet#asks#dj-of-the-coven
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