#i just... i predict thisll still get messy

[mejomonster]

I rather liked the Enterprise episode Home. Trip and TPol were in character, and Archer FINALLY gets to react to the stresses of all the decisions he's made and how UNLIKE how he used to be. The Archer who started the mission was SO optimistic, so hopeful he'd meet new people and do good on behalf of humanity setting an example of kindness in the universe. All the actions he had to take in The Expanse were so morally fucked, so hard for Archer and hopeless and no WONDER he came back to Earth with trauma and hypervigilant about danger, and focusing on the dangers, and more than anything: focused on how much he is mad at Himself for failing to be the good person he intended to be. For failing to uphold his own morals when the crises got bad enough.

I loved that him and the Ambassador talked at the end, Archer apologizing (because he knows he's mad at what he did himself, not really at the Ambassador), and ambassador Soval thanking him for being a GOOD captain and better than he thought Archer would be when the mission first left Earth. It was exactly what Archer needed, some confirmation from outsiders that he did the best he could, and theres more than just perfect and the failure of managing to be perfect.

Id like to choose to believe Soval made out with him with that firm handshake. Because I love to believe in vulcan hand kisses as the best interpretation lol. (Although, seriously, I recognize Soval is an ambassador and he KNOWS handshakes are a sign of respect, and encouragement, with humans - and he shook Archers hand for that reason. To comfort him and remind him he IS respected and valued as a captain.)

I think Trip's scenes with TPol's mom were great, and insightful into his feelings. And TPol has a good mom... a good balance between showing the value vulcans have on family and tradition and the very real Pressures TPols family faces for her revolutionarily new choices as someone working with human allies, while also clearly caring about her daughter and what's best for T'Pol. I think T'Pol's marriage proposal conflict was fairly convincing for me... vulcans tend to have arranged fiances, and hers in particular was taking advantage of T'Pol and her mom being socially attacked to push T'Pol to agree to marry him... even though T'Pol clearly states at first she doesnt want him. The politics of it remind me of TPau and TPring in Amok Time, the situation TPol finds herself in is shitty but I totally see why she would cave to it. She cares for her people, for her mom, knows her actions caused political attacks on her family, and frankly a vulcan spouse who would allow her to KEEP making politically awful moves as a human-vulcan liason is rare... and a vulcan spouse is going to combat more political attacks (especially one who uses their own political sway to protect) than a human spouse (which would draw more attacks on her family) or no spouse (where attacks would continue on her family).

She does NOT want Koss but logically, he is offering a shield against the political attacks happening to her and her mother. I can see why TPol, especially, would cave to that. Shes struggled immensely with her own suffering and judgements from othet vulcans, due to her choices. She could have endured that judgement, punishment, and denial of her value from vulcans if she knows she believes her actions are right. But she feels she cant force her mom to endure suffering too, especially not if there's a way to protect her mom. I dont like Koss, TPol doesnt (and knows hes manipulating her and opportunistic). But for TPols character, she would definitely be selfless and not consider her own wants. At least not yet. If she can find a new way to protect her mom, or hear her mom say shes okay with the political attacks, or if her mom ends up attacked even post marriage? Well then, TPol may well divorce the jerk.

And Trip... as irritating as it is to see someone not fight for their love. I think its in character. The line where he says he doesnt want to tell TPol, because she doesnt need any more pressure or stress? Now THAT is Trip. Thats the love thats been slowly growing. Thats attached to so much more - how despite how rude he was toward vulcans at the start of the mission, how much he impulsively called her rude and mean and demanded she be more like humans on the Enterprise? He does not WANT to put human cultural expectations on her. Not when it matters. Not now that he knows her, and knows what a jerk he was when they met in that way. He knows its not normal in vulcan culture to purposely make decisions that lead to family suffering, for your own desires. He knows vulcans value logic, and dont like to make emotional decisions (generally). He knows that if he speaks up about his feelings to her it will not only make her decision harder: it will dump a bunch of human expectations on her. It'll make her feel she is breaking his heart if she doesnt choose him, make her feel a human would expect her to choose who she loves MOST. And he doesnt want her to feel guilty, to feel shes hurting him more. He knows why shes making this kind of choice, and her values, and he doesnt even want to complicate it with pushing her with another option. It shows how far hes grown from season 1, and how much he cares, and how much he's willing to let go of HIS norms for her.

Which the whole visit also is: he agrees to go to vulcan initially, to extend an olive branch the other direction. The whole show hes offered to bring her to human things to participate in. Expected and hoped she'd be open to it. And this trip is him offering to be open to HER home, her culture, her values, and appreciate what matters to her. He tries SO hard to figure out how to be respectful to her and her mom, compliments aspects of vulcan, adjusts to acting like the vulcans (little conversations with the mom going well as a sign he's doing admirably). In season 1 he often complained about how annoying, judgemental, rude, cold, vulcans were. He came to vulcan and called it beautiful, and never judged TPol or her mom, or their way of doing things, just trying to help. He came with TPol to do what she's been doing for him and all of Enterprise - trying to value human culture, and its starkly different from how he acted in season 1.

Although, he was always pretty open to new aliens on the mission lol. Like the engineer who got him pregnant, he was very open to learning and adjusting while he was talking to her anyway. And this episode Home gets to really hammer in how he can and does do that regarding TPol too.

(Also lol the confession he liked TPol since they argued and he realized he loved it? Reframes their earlier seasons in a fun way I think. Even though i dont think the writers intended it romantically or knew theyd do that back in season 1. Also reinforces my theory TPol and Trip were an exploration of a Bones/Spock relationship dynamic when the writing started).

I think TPol telling Trip she'd marry Koss was so in character. Trip in pain, mad, but accepting it. It being a step forward in a way because she MUST care about Trip to tell him this way, its finally almost an admission, but caring about Trip is NOT good for her situation. And Trip realizes that right then, and for all the pain he's in, ultimately wants her to be Okay. Thats the organic, base, element of their relationship that DOES work and feels natural.

And at the wedding, Trip saying theres no where else he'd rather be, no malice, genuinely he means it. Him watching the vows, and its at once clear to the audience that Trip realizes how much he is NOT vulcan and cannot give TPol normalcy, acceptance or safety in vulcan society, cannot even begin to be part of this world enough to ever give her family the status required to belong. But he loves her for sure, cares so entirely that he stands and watches and would never be the person to selfishly try to call this wedding off. He would never say out loud "I love you! Are you really sure you want this TPol?" He would never. He would stand there and be silent, even if it hurts, rather than make TPol feel conflicted. He knows she already is in pain, is already conflicted and stressed, and he doesnt want to add to it by verbalizing some demand that would ask she give even MORE up. If TPol said she wanted to leave, wanted Koss gone? Trip would support her in a heartbeat and help her make it happen. But only if its her who starts that action.

Its such a contrast to Spock and Kirk in Amok Time. Which really shows how DIFFERENT these characters are. Spock values personal choice more (though TPol faces steeper prices for doing what she thinks is right at times - and she does pick brave choices she believes are right over safe ones), values his pride more than acquiesing to blackmail, values his desires over safety (and we see it in Many missions), and Kirk very much DOES speak up about human culture and wants and applies that somewhat to Spock. Perhaps fairly, as hes half human, or perhaps presumptiously. TPol and Spock are different people with different situations, time periods, values, and personalities. And while Kirk matches Spock in terms of bravely confronting opponents to his decisions (and Spocks), very passionate.

Trip? TPol? They may like arguing, but when its important at work they prefer being a united front that agrees (and typically defaults to TPols command). And when its a serious situation in their relationship? Again, they prefer to agree. Either as a holding pattern: neither wanting to admit vulnerability first, or only wanting to admit it if the other does. Or in decision making: they do both care for each other, and try to extend olive branches (TPol inviting Trip to vulcan... I think she was trying to show she was open to a relationship, and Trips feelings, and Trip matched that by being enthusiastic and open about vulcan and following her lead). If Trip is emotionally in pain, TPol tries to comfort him. So Trip tries to find TPol and comfort her when she seems to be going through things. They (when I feel they're written most naturally) are a very balanced sort of couple. They're like an algebra equation with an equal sign in the middle. They try to match what the other does, and try to rebalance if one draws back or forward more. So if one starts being more caring, the other does too. If one sacrifices, the other does. (I see Kirk/Spock as more of a push/pull naturally, usually one taking command and the other following and it flipping when theres disagreement at times).

So of course Trip would not say i love you out loud. That comes with the human cultural demand of asking her to PICK a life choice based on love, what humans would do. It would be asking her if SHE loves him back - abd since they like matching each other in effort, she'd feel obliged to answer. If she answered, all the pressure would be on: to pick love like a human would, like Trip would, over any other values. So he wont put them in that situation. Its very in character.

Its frustrating. But very much what TPol and Trip would do.