#i just wnat to get this fandom moving

[olderthannetfic]

So I know I'm like several years late to the party with this, I just played it for the first time recently, but for those in this F/F discourse who like me, their big stumbling block with a lot of F/F fanfic is that they're specifically into messier, kinkier or more "toxic" dynamics between women than the romantic friends-to-lovers fluff that seems to predominate these days (though considering this is a common complaint, is probably already on the way out): cannot recommend the visual novel Ladykiller in a Bind enough. Especially the route with the Beauty - not gonna spoil, but you'll have fun, at least if you're not totally turned off by BDSM.

Anyway, has anyone noticed that it feels like even if F/F fandom is moving away from the fluff-only stuff, a lot of people who sign up for F/F in fanfic exchanges seem to be realllllly fluffy in their preferences? Like even in a lot of kink-centric ones (like kink in the BDSM/fetish sense, not the way fanfic uses it as just "trope you like"), it's a lot of stuff like that "consensual sex pollen" thing people were ranting about a few asks ago. I feel like the only way I can get the kind of F/F I really like in exchanges is if I get like five of my like-minded friends to sign up, and then we either end up just writing for each other, or are writing and receiving some M/M or F/M ship we also requested.

I sometimes wonder, because this is a trajectory that I went through myself and have seen so many other lesbians and bi women go through, that it has to do with comfort level about your sexuality. Like I was kind of afraid when first coming out to admit the freakier, less "good representation" style stuff I liked, and then once I got over it I was like making up for lost time. Especially when it seems like a lot of people with those preferences also buy heavily into "anti" thinking (like people have discussed with the Rhaenicent stuff), I do kind of wonder if it's motivated by shame in your less "moral "desires. THough obviously a lot of people just like fluffier stuff naturally and can process all they want and that's still goign to be what they like. I tend to have fluffier, more romantic preferences in M/M for whatever reason and all the processing in the world hasn't made me more want to read whumpier or kinkier fic.

(I'm a lesbian, ftr, and again I don't wnat to seem like I'm shaming anyone else, but I have kind of wondered what it means that /I/ am into one thing with the gender I'm actually attracted to IRL and one thing very different with the one I'm not. And then my preferences in F/M seem to be a lot more situational, depending on the ship or the fandom in question or the fanfic writer, etc.)

Also wondering if even more generally, what y'all have noticed is the difference in the overall patterns of preferences of people who sign up for fanfic exchanges vs. fanfic writers as a whole. As someone who does a lot of exchanges, it's something I've kind of wondered about in myself, too, especially compared to my friends who aren't as into them as much.

--

[modpoppy]

BWAHAHA YOU FOOL YOU CANNOT STOP ME FROM DOING ALL THREE

UNIQUE THINGS ABOUT ME:

the mind wipe.

number one phantom fan! thats my pookie

i have a particular type of scar on my arm ive never seen anyone have the same kind of! its not a very unique circumstance per se i think im just the only emptyheaded fuck (ha) to have accomplished legit scarring from it

not many people can say they have a special interest in accounting can they! i made an accountant ace attorney au, i made kaeya genshin impact’s special interest accounting (and made him an accountant in my au fic), i could talk about it all day!

i

cant think of a fifth thing

FOUR THINGS IM PASSIONATE ABOUT!!!!!

PLUSHIES!! i like plushies a lot and they make me happy and i have too many of them and ive identified which brands i like i wish they had plushie conventions where people can find and share their plushies

WIZARDS im obsessed with wizards i wnat to be awozard i w anta to be vwizarf wi e a aa. rd

im very very passionate about chainsaw man, devilman crybaby, and nge, and how they play out literally vs the narrative subtext vs fandom perception, though i mostly care about csm bc its the most recent and most intense. i WILL DEFEND DENJI FROM WILLFUL MISCHARACTERIZATION WITH MY LIFE

um. the phantom. i dunno

THREE GOOD MEMORIIIIIIIIES

……. well this is hard of course given the mind wipe, and i was mostly left with unsavory memories, but ill sort through and find some good ones.

when i first became active on tiktok, i ordered some jjba plushies, and as a freebie got a Pesci plush. i didnt want it, but didnt feel good tossing it or selling it, so i broadcast to give it away for free and was able to send it to a pesci fan. i like doing things like that

i think i recall getting my hair done up nice and trying seafood for the first time. im really happy in the photo so i think things went well

the dethklok concert was really great! a lot of people complimented my hair and my outfit, one guy let me move in front of him to see slightly better, and someone even gave me a free pickles pin!!

ignore that two of those are post mind wipe.

WAHAAAA THATS ALL OF MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TY FOR ASKINGGGGG

side note: hey guys i dont know if the mind wipes working anymore!!

[sasa-writes-fandom-things]

Omg, hii! I just found you and your writing is so awesome! And then I saw that you write to some of my favorite fandoms! So I have to ask: Could I please have a short fic with Dean and his female reader? She has really pain in the back or shoulders or head, whatever you want but downplays it even tho it is really painful and Dean wnats so help her, like a massage. Thank you! :)

Hi dear anon, thank you so much for your kind words. And thank you for requesting Dean! It was fun to write for him again!

Enjoy x

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: Deanxfem!reader

Summary: You got a stiff neck and didn’t want no help, but Dean wouldn’t be Dean if he let this one slide, would he?

Words: 800

Warnings: cuteness, Dean lending a helping hand

Sitting all cramped up in the library all night to do some research isn’t healthy in the first place. When you still have a sore back from that damn demon crushing you into the nearest wall, sitting like that isn’t healthy at all. You try to relax your muscles by rotating your shoulders and moving your head in circles. “All uptight, huh?”, Sam glances over to you with an eyebrow raised. “You could say that”, you huff and stand up. Stretching your sore body in the process. “Maybe you should take a nice bath.”, Sam suggests, flipping a page over in the book he’s currently reading. You only nod. God your back is really killing you, maybe a nice hot bath will help.

No sooner said than done! The hot water is pouring into the zinc tube. You are grateful that you had a bathbomb left, so the water is turning into some light violet and the smell that comes from it puts your mind at ease in an instant. With a loud sigh you led yourself slide into this warm and wet bliss. Feeling your muscles relax and the slight headache fading away. Soft music is coming from your bluetooth speakers as you dry yourself off. You take a mental note to thank Sam later for the helpful tipp. The soreness in your back is almost completely gone the only muscle that gives you a hard time is your neck. The tube isn’t that deep so the relaxin water couldn't reach it. Making your way to your room, you rub your neck and instantly wince from the pain. The muscle group there are hard as stone. “Better take some painkillers then”, you mumble.

Today is a rather uneventful day, as it is spent with even more research and no field trip. By the time you have worked through the thirteenth book you are in so much pain, you can barely see the words in front of you. The effect of the painkillers you took a couple of hours ago almost completely gone. Your relieving posture doesn’t get unnoticed by a certain hunter. Dean is glancing at you sideways, while looking something up at Sam’s laptop. “You okay over there, sweetheart?” You look up from your book and nod which causes a sharp pain to shoot through you. Your face contorts into a mask of pain. “You sure?” You sigh and close the book. “Yes Dean, I am sure!” You snap back at him. He puts his arms up in defense. “Just checking on you, is all.” He shrugs his shoulders and goes back to his own research. You look over at him again. “It’s really nothing for you to worry about. Just a stiff back, that’s all.” You add in an apologetic tone. Dean looks at you again, his emerald eyes searching your face for any misleading twitch. “I took some pills too. So it really isn’t that big of a deal, Dean.” You assure him further. But from the look on his face you know that your fellow hunter isn’t convinced at all. “He grunts his agreement and gets back to his laptop.

Getting up to grab a new book, you chew your bottom lip. The pain is really getting to you, you didn’t mean to snap at Dean. He was just being polite. Another groan leaves your lips and you let yourself flop on your chair. Your head feels so heavy and you want nothing more than to let it fall flat on the table but instead you cradle it with both hands. Your sighs and groans were all noticed by the older Winchester brother. You are so consumed by your book that you didn’t hear the laptop being shut close and Dean’s chair scraping over the old floor.  Suddenly you feel warm hands caressing your stiff neck. “Seems like someone is having trouble to admit that she needs a bit of help”, he coos and places a kiss at your exposed skin. “Dean”, you sigh out breathlessly. “Yes, (Y/N)”, he breathes near your ear, which lets you shiver. “Let me help you out, sweetheart.” You hum contently as his strong hands massage your shoulders, working your muscles on your shoulder blades and caressing your neck with his thumbs. You feel better in no time, all the stress fading away with each warm brush of his hands. Just when the tension finally leaves your neck for good after what feels like hours, a harsh voice interrupts you.

“Hey, get a room you two!”, Sam exclaims only half serious. Both of you look at the younger brother and start laughing. “If you insist”, you giggle, raise from your chair and take Dean’s hand in yours. “We’re doing our own, special research then.” Sam’s face twists in disgust. “Ugh, too much information!” Again you both could only laugh at his expression. “See ya, Sammy.” Dean chirps in while being dragged out of the library.

Back through the hole

[mysamcedesmadness]

So, Cheesy Romantic Picnic on the Grass?

So, anybody that has been following me here knows that chenoahchantel/noreasonjustbored is my BABAY in this fandom. Thanks for keeping me company when I'm alone with 12-18 kids in a big, scary house, and letting me toss ideas off of you. Hopefully, fulfills the audience.

For all who read, I just wanted to thank y'all. I thought this would be a one shot, but y'all showed up asking for more and I gave more until I came to what I felt like was the end of the journey. Grateful for everyone who took it with us. To think, it started out with some silly dreams. *Biggie voice: It was all a dream!* Anywho… And now the conclusion of So: The Henry Danger Fanfic aka So, I Had a Dream...

So, Cheesy Romantic Picnic on the Grass?

Charlotte had an appointment to check out a small house that she could rent near the university and an interview for an on campus job. When she got back into town, Piper picked her up and wondered, "So.. since you're moving back home, are you and my brother ..?"

"I reached out to him and told him that I miss him. We're going to talk, probably. I hope."

"Have you seen him since the last time I saw you?" Piper wondered.

"No. He's not on social media anymore, or he's blocked me."

"He left social media whenever you went to Europe. Jasper says that he still stalks your pages though. He catches him doing it at work sometimes." Piper cleared her throat and asked, "You still love him?"

"More now than I used to, somehow."

"Well, I feel like I should be the one to tell you… if you aren't going to be able to love him the way he needs, just don't bother. He won't benefit from some kind of quick fix."

"Piper, are you looking out for Henry?" Charlotte teased.

Piper stared at her with a stone face. "Somebody had to after you just quit on him. Did you think Jasper could do it? Jasper can barely take care of himself!" She tapped the steering wheel with her fingers and said, "If you're really gonna do right by him, you have nothing to worry about."

Charlotte found Piper's protectiveness a little weird, but she hadn't been around in years. For all she knew, Henry and Piper were close now.

Whenever they pulled up to this duplex, Charlotte squinted her eyes and wondered, "Where are we?"

Piper gave her a look and said, "Henry's," like, obviously. She slammed on the horn a bunch and unlocked the doors. "He and Jasper are renting this place from that boss of his at the junk store. I had no idea that he owned property. That makes sense. Because, to this day, I've still never seen anyone purchase anything from out of there."

Charlotte kept silent. This was probably something he had on Captain Man's dime. She wondered if Henry and Jasper were actually paying rent, or just able to stay because of Captain Man's resources in Swellview. Jasper was out first, in a belly shirt and a pair of jorts, and Charlotte had to admit - he'd been working on those abs! He rushed and gave her a big hug and swept her up off the ground cheering, "She's home!" When he put her down, they were just chattering excitedly. She saw movement in the corner of her eye, but was a little bit nervous to even turn and see Henry. But, she did. He was speaking quietly with Piper and grabbing Charlotte's bags from the SUV. Piper looked concerned and he looked… well, kinda like he was trying to avoid being scolded.

But, more importantly… He looked… different. He was more muscular, had some facial hair. With the tank top he was wearing, she saw that he'd added more tattoos and she wondered if he'd done so to rid himself of hers. That suddenly terrified and saddened her… But, nope… When he shifted to throw another bag on his left arm, she simultaneously noticed that her tattoo was still visibly in tact (as well as noticed the flex of his muscles when he picked up more). "Hey, I can help…" She said and went to try to get a bag from him. He just smiled and shook his head, then went inside.

Piper had her arms folded and she looked at Charlotte, "You're gonna be here for him, right?"

"Right."

"Okay. Call me soon so we can connect. I know the two of you have a lot to discuss." She hugged her then pointed to Jasper and said, "Go home. You can see her later, like everybody else."

"This is my home!" Jasper said.

Piper pointed at the right side of the duplex, "That's your home and you go to it, NOT to Henry's, right now. Where are his keys?"

"In my pocket."

"They better stay there until he's better." She fussed and then smiled sweetly at Charlotte and waved as she got into the vehicle.

"I think I've grown on her," Jasper said, nodding. Charlotte gave him a confused look.

But, then something occurred to her, "Wait, why are Henry's keys in your pocket?"

Jasper waved a hand and said, "Piper makes me take them if I see him drinking because he got wasted, busted his fists up, got alcohol poisoning, and nearly choked on his own vomit."

"Oh my God!"

"I made that sound worse than it was. These were three different occasions. Not the same night!"

"Jasper, that's worst. That means this is a habit. How'd he bust his fists up?"

"Punching an indestructible man repeatedly." Charlotte held her head. "In his defense, Ray was really asking for it and he was extremely drunk."

"When did he start drinking?"

"It just helps him cope. He does it all the time and only had three incidents."

"Jasper… Drinking "all the time" is an incident, okay? And the three incidents to listed sound pretty bad. He choked on vomit? Alcohol poisoning? Thank God that you take his keys, or he might have harmed someone or himself!"

"Ohhhhh… now that I think about it… The night that he busted up his fists, he did almost crash. He came home with blood all over him because apparently liquor is a blood thinner? Who knew, right? And Piper immediately tried to rush him to the hospital, but he knows that Schwoz can probably fix it, so he says he'll do it tomorrow. Well, Piper is insisting it happens now, before he gets blood all over the house that their parents think that she's responsible, though I'm pretty sure she was probably worried. She's asking him what happened, was it a fight, did he bludgeon someone to death, did he attack a brick wall? He says fine, jumps in the truck and speeds off. So, at this point, I'm confused, because I was his ride home and she's aggravated. She calls the cops on him, and we get in her car and try to follow him. He was all over the place and nearly drove through the front of Junk N' Stuff. He gets out and goes in, and she's SOOOO mad, but I convinced her that I'll take care of him and make sure he gets medical attention. Schwoz fixed him up, but he had to of course wear the bandages for a while, for good measure. But, Piper's been hard on his case ever since."

"Can you blame her?"

"Charlotte… That doesn't help him. He needs support. He needs love…"

As though on cue, Henry returned and even though he was beautiful, Charlotte certainly noticed the pain in his features. He finally gave her a hug as he asked Jasper, "Trying to steal my woman? I don't play that. Not with this one." He gave her a kiss on the forehead and she melted against him and glanced down at his gray sweatpants.

"Piper told me to go home," Jasper said.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea for right now, so we can… chill, you know?"

"Talk to you soon, Jasp," Charlotte said.

Henry flinched and he joked, "You don't call my Jasp "Jasp, I call my Jasp "Jasp."

"He's our Jasp," she said, with their arms still wrapped around each other. Jasper vanished into his duplex and Charlotte looked up at Henry. "Hey, Hen," she said. He just smiled and pulled her close to himself. "You're going kinda easy on me. I guess I expected a fight."

"I've been waiting for years for you to come back. Last thing I want is to fight with you." He rubbed her back and her arms, then cradled her to himself.

"You okay?"

"No. I missed you more than my brain even has words to like depict or whatever." He leaned back and said, "I would kiss you, but I'm not as good as reading you as I used to be and I wouldn't want to cross any lines."

"Well, I would kiss you, but I just want to know… How much have you had to drink today?"

She saw the flicker of offense and he dropped his arms from around her and laughed a little. "Wnat me to pour you one?"

"No thanks, I don't drink."

"Of course you don't. Your life is perfect. You're perfect. Charlotte Page never does anything wrong or unsavory…"

"There's the fight," she said under her breath.

"Yeah, since you wanted one!"

"I'm not trying to fight. I just heard that you were having some problems and I'm concerned. Piper certainly seemed concerned. Can't I be concerned, or did I lose my rights to caring about you?" They were inside. He flopped down onto the couch. This duplex was actually pretty spacious! But, she wasn't distracted. She sat next to him and said, "I would never attack you, Hen. I have your back. But, the things that I've heard are scary, and I want what's best for you. Do you think you might need to see someone about it?"

"What, like rehab? No. I see a lot. I go through a lot. And, from the time I was 13 on up, I have had a very dangerous and stressful job. I was a good kid. I was responsible and dependable. More than most of these cats in Swellview, you know? It's just that nobody really knew that, because I had to hide who I was and I didn't have the energy to be that kid 24/7. When I unmasked, they got Henry. Hopeless Henry, with the bad grades and short attention span." He chuckled. "It was always okay, though. I had the best friends somebody like me could have. And for a while, I had the best girlfriend. I actually thrived for a while. I was doing pretty good in school. My parents were pleased with me. Like.. I was that dude. Then… we graduated and I had to try to adapt to college life with a different dynamic in my support system. I lost my girl and my best friend when you left…" She furrowed her eyebrows and he quickly said, "I'm not saying I blame you, I'm just stating my stressors." He shook his head. "I did my best and was barely getting by in college. Those professors thought I was a lazy loser. I was protecting Swellview with most of what I had to give, and I didn't have my biggest supporter. I didn't want to bother you. I'd already messed things up between us. You… came to visit and we… I thought that maybe you could see that I knew I messed up. I thought that maybe you would open the conversation, because you're so big on opening conversations. When you didn't, I thought maybe it was because you no longer wanted anything to do with me. Because, you don't like to leave things unsettled. But, when you did, I took that as a sign. Then… you group chatted us months later that you weren't coming home for summer because you'd be exploring Europe. It was like the nail in the coffin."

"Okay… But, why didn't you just start the conversation? Henry… I started so many of our most important conversations and the last one that I tried to have, I tried to start numerous times, only to have you thwart it. Did it not occur to you that maybe I was scared that you wouldn't have the conversation with me?"

"It clearly did not." They were quiet for a while. "I'm sorry. I'm the one that broke things off. I'm the one that rushed to the first available girl to try to clear my mind of you. I'm the one who should have and didn't bring the conversation back around when it mattered. You did a lot of the heavy lifting in our relationship. I should have done all the lifting it would have taken to mend it, after I broke it. Because, I've thought about that conversations many drunken nights, and I definitely was the one who," he shook his head and clasped his hands together.

"Henry, if you don't think rehab, what about at least going to therapy? You should sort these things out with a professional."

"How do I explain my Kid Danger dilemmas?" He rolled his eyes.

They were silent again, then Charlotte said, "Okay… You… Have a very important job that you can't discuss for security purposes… A job in which you are responsible for the wellbeing of someone else. Say that you're in protection services… for special needs citizens. The job often changes, but someone is always in your care. It's stressful but it's your passion and your mission and it has affected you in A, B, and C ways…" He was pondering over this. "Don't think about it too hard. It'll hold up. They won't press you to ask what you specifically do, especially if you've already stated that you couldn't go into detail about the job. I just want you to be the best you that you can be. A healthy, happy Henry. You're… the love of my life. I can't stand to see you hurting…"

Henry looked shocked at her saying that. So, he hadn't messed everything completely upm afterall. He took her hand and pulled her closer to cuddle with him. "You're the love of my life, too," he whispered. "Char… Are you here to stay? Are you visiting before going somewhere else to get your masters or phD, or whatever you're working on next?"

"And leave you in Jasper's care again? Look at what happened last time!" She joked, but he had a serious look on his face and was still waiting for her to respond. She sighed and stroked his hair, "Listen, let's first focus on therapy and rehab, then we can have a conversation. I'll even be the one to bring it up." He smiled a little and for the first time since she got back, she saw some gosh dang hope in his eyes.

.

Charlotte cancelled her apartment hunt and just set up in Jasper's extra room. They thought it might make things less stressful for them if she wasn't all in his space, but she also wanted to be close enough to be able to immediately respond, should he need her. It took Henry a while, but she noticed within the next few months of summer, he began to relax more. She noticed that he didn't seem to be replenishing his bar, (because he didn't agree with quitting cold turkey, so it was definitely still there). She hoped that he was pouring out bottles as he got better and not drinking them, though. She and Jasper had keys to the place, so she sometimes went over to use his gym, and his shower. A few times, he'd caught her undressed or partially dressed and quickly retracted himself (yep, in his own home).

One time, though, she came in and he was there, setting stuff up on the mantle where his bar once was. "Hey… I thought you were at work."

"No. I had a meeting tonight, so I took the night off. It's too stressful to fight crime then try to talk to the group, and it was a good night for group," he said and came over to show her something. "Got my six month chip." She gasped and hugged him. It was an effort for him not to kiss her. "Therapy has been really good too," he said and pulled away from her to finish decorating.

"Well… I'm really proud of you and glad that you're doing so well on self."It had been difficult for her to stay out of the way, but she knew that she had to let him do it. If it was just another Charlotte controlled mission, he never could have gotten the recovery he needed or deserved. "So… If… You… are interested in having our conversation… I'd love to do that as soon as you want to." She noticed him tense up but she didn't know if it was nervousness, excitement, a cringe. Hell, he'd spent months fixing himself. Maybe the last thing he wanted was to connect with her or with anybody else. What was she thinking? Six months wasn't enough time!

"I want that more than anything," he said and turned around and leaned against the mantle. "But, I do have a busy week, so perhaps we can set a date. My therapist says that with my job being so versatile and erratic, that I have to be sure to try to have structure in my personal life and not to be impulsive, to maintain stability."

She pulled out her phone and synched their calendars. "Okay, so, as far as when you don';t have work, meetings, appointments and other engagements and I don't have class, work, etc… two weeks from now on Wednesday night sound good?"

"Sounds like a dream," he said (a callback to the first time he asked her out.

She immediately got that reference and added on to it, "So, cheesy romantic picnic on the grass?"

He smiled, the brightest smile she had seen in a while, "I'll bring the blanket."

…

"Aaaaaand, they lived happily ever after," the older Henry said. "True story about your mom and dad…"

The eldest in the backseat threw her head back and said loudly, "Mom, wake up! Dad is telling us the story about your first date again and still insists on pretending that he was Kid Danger!" Charlotte laughed and said, "I am awake and also… if you thought I was asleep, you were gonna wake me up, for that?"

The girl shrugged her shoulders, curls blowing in the wind. "He got to the end of the story. You know he always likes to end on that cheesy "I'll bring the blanket," (she imitated him) "line. Not even smooth. I can't believe you gave him three kids," she teased.

"He didn't have to be smooth. You've seen photos of your dad when we got married."

"Wasn't impressed," she said.

"You literally look just like me, with a tan and long hair," Henry said. "I wanted to name you Henry Jr, but Charlotte was afraid that you might have a complex about it when you got old enough for kids to tease you."

The middle child, and only boy spoke up, "Mom, then what happened after dad's cheesy, not smooth line."

"They are relentless," Henry commented.

"Well, they are my children," Charlotte reminded him with a giggle, then finished the retelling,

"Charlotte's smile as she went back to Jasper's and started packing was the widest one she ever felt on her face. "What's happening? Are you… Where are you going?" Jasper wondered.

"If I'm lucky.. To where I always belonged. Home to Henry. I'll know in a couple of weeks." She contacted Schwoz, "Hey, Schwoz… do you still have any It's Time gumballs?"

"I have the new and improved It's Time gumballs!"

"I'll be by to get it in a few. Click."

Three Hart kids clapped their hands and cheered, "Way to go, Mom!" She chuckled.

"No respect," Henry said, shaking his head, but smiling brightly as they pulled into the carport of their summer house. Charlotte could hardly wait to hit the waves on her trusty old surfboard. Henry could hardly wait to grill hotdogs and… his alert went off and their eldest complained, "Ugh… You've gotta work?"

"Yeah, he does. It's how we have a summer house, so mind your tone, Girl." Charlotte gave Henry a kiss on the lips, placed her hand on his heart to feel his pulse in sync with her ring, and told him, "Come home safely."

"I always try," he said, as he pulled out his gumballs and tried to find some place to change.

"Okay! House Hart, unpack the truck for me," Charlotte said to her 16, 12 and 8 year old. She watched as a red and blue jetpack wearing streak went up and then over. The kids were distracted and said, "WHOAAA! THAT WAS AGENT DANGER!" They were all super excited and she just smiled and shook her head. She told Henry that the best way of always keeping them unaware of his secret identity was to tell them all of their lives that he used to be Kid Danger. No matter how obvious it became, they never presumed he was Agent Danger.

[ehh-is-the-name]

It’s just a rant…

fudofdlkf :,( my heart body and mind yearns for osomatsu san- 

I wanna watch more eps so fukcing badly btu there;s something that stands in my way. MY PRIDE. I have my head up my ass and I’m takin’ a whiff, I re-fuckin-fuse to watch it again but I wnat to so badly. I got into it ~2017 and lemme tell you, it was something else. Let’s just say 2017 wasn’t the best year of my life and it was defined by pain and cringe. So hearing about osomatsu-san lately is having a visceral reaction in my being. Half of me wants to watch the show not only for nostalgia’s sake, but because I genuine loved the show and characters, and the other half doesn’t want to be sucked back into the hellish nightmare that was 2017 for me. The worst part is that the show has nothing to do with why 2017 was bad, it was more of the fandom I put myself into to cope with my situation and I’m afraid of putting myself in that situation, if that makes sense?

I don’t want to be put back in that head space nor feel like I was back in that situation which I don’t think makes sense but I’m still worried about it nonetheless. There’s also the fact I’m just embarrassed at the thought of getting back into it, I thought it was something I left behind as a phase but I guess I never grew up? or at least that’s what it feels like. This plays into the pride thing I was talking about earlier, I feel like I’m better than that; better than the younger me. Me not watching it is like a middle finger to the part of me that doesn’t feel like I’m mature enough to out grow things but to slip back into it... it’s like falling back into bad habits. I don’t want to imagine I’m chilling with random characters to escape what’s going on. I’m better than that. Well, I should be at least, but I’m not.

Man, I feel like that for almost everything nowadays. I’m getting back into hetalia and all the friends I made while in that fandom have moved on. I’m so scared they’ll move on without me, I don’t wanna be alone again. Fuck, lemme get back on topic, Pucca- I got back into Pucca even though I haven’t seen it since I was 6. Watched the whole thing, even the weird 3d version Netflix made. I almost fell back into homestuck cause a friend was reading it but thank god I can’t read anymore, so I couldn’t get back into it. Even BFDI, the fucking icon for this tumblr! I forgot about the show for years than stumbled across it and now I’m back in the fandom again. The thing is I’m mad. So fucking mad that I’m sticking with what I know. I should try something new for once but I’ve just been clinging onto things I should move on from while everyone moves on. God, I feel like a kid throwing a tantrum. nO I doN WAnNA WatCH tHe sHOW cAuSE iT mAkEs Me FeEL LIkE A baBy ANd ALL mY fRIendS aRe BIG kIDS! Jeez, I’m getting on my own nerves, I need to stfu and just watch the show. What’s the worst that could happen? I enjoy the show? I cry about regressing in tastes again? It can’t be that bad.

[littleandroidwrites]

SHIP TAG

Tagged by:��MY LOVE MY LIGHT @vassilievich (their url is impossible 2 spell i get it but i promise they’re worth it so go follow if u don’t already) 

Name 5 OTPs from 5 different fandoms and tag 10 people to pass it on:

1.) Captive Prince: Damen x Laurent (listen LISTEN ULTIMATE OTP I THINK ABOUT THEM 20% OF EACH AND EVERY DAY also if ur interested in reading captive prince but never have before feel free 2 message me to ask abt triggers etc or u kno.. just to share u feelings... bc i ... wnat to kno... ANYWAY THIS ISN’T WHAT THIS TAG IS FOR I’MA SHUT UP I’MA MOVE ON)

2.) The Raven Cycle: Adam x Ronan (iconic. shipped them from their first interaction. can’t believe i was given this @maggie stiefvater: u a fuckin homie)

3.) Harry Potter: Remus x Sirius (this.... is barely harry potter but just roll w/ me)

4.) Marvel’s Jessica Jones: Jessica x Trish (LISTEN I SUPPORT PURE FEMALE FRIENDSHIP BUT THIS ONE IS CLEARLY GAY) 

5.) Addicted series: Daisy x Ryke (i honestly barely fuck w/ this series anymore like at all but i did ship them and aPPARENTLY I DON’T HAVE THAT MANY OTPS THAT DON’T LIVE IN MY MIND HMMM INTERESTING anyway)

 Tagging: anybody that wants to do this PLS take me as this tagging u. scrolling by rn guess what? just tagged u. my special requests tho are: @ashdroiidwrites @cruxiowrites @writingolive

[indieskinsrp]

Important!

I'm not sure if you guys are familiar with rpgs but often they have blogs that serve as a gossip blogs, where people send in information and gossip about each others's muses (that happen within rps or wild assumptions) anonymously to the blog and we'll reply to them.

Would that be something you'd all be interested in having on this blog?