#i just wanted to remind somebody that you don't have to change the world in one fell swoop. it's okay to Just Be

[uncanny-tranny]

Your influence in this world doesn't need to be all-encompassing and World Changing. It can be small ripples. It can be gentle and easily missed.

Let yourself do small things. So often, people have this idea that to do "good things," it must be a grand gesture that changes every little thing. Honestly, that can be so intimidating and scary. We weren't meant to carry the world by ourselves. We each contribute, often in small ways, often in ways that aren't seen by everybody. But the people you affect might just take that kindness you gave them and let it light them home. Let yourself be that in whatever way you want. You don't need to carry the world alone.

[itsrlymine]

Ignoring Reality Makes No Sense When You Are Reality

Pay attention to the 3d because what you say about it tells you where you are in consciousness. If you know the outer world is based on your inner world, you don’t need to ignore it. If anything you should laugh bc Mrs. 3D really thought she was doing something like girl bye. 

This notion that you need to "ignore reality" in order to get what you want is wack asf and it pisses me off honestly. Why would you ignore reality when you are reality itself? When somebody calls you by your favorite nickname, are you gonna ignore them because you like that name or will you answer since it’s your name???? 

The 3d is a reflection of old and present thoughts and your state of awareness. How you respond internally is what determines what is happening externally. Change the meaning to what you “see” with your physical eyes and see with your mind’s eye that which you are now choosing to experience. Are you gonna ignore your sp, new money, house or car now bc they are in your 3d???

Your reality/3d only becomes real when you are getting what you want? Are you serious? Who told you that? You need to stop listening to that person. The 3d is you. So if reality isn't real, that means you aren't either boo. How can you be reading this post right now if the 3d isn't real?? Are you dreaming right now or something? Don't take people's advice just because they might be popular or get a lot of attention. Listen to what they say and actually see if it makes sense. Most of the times it doesn't. If you want to ignore reality, go ahead and ignore yourself for a week and see how that goes.

There were times people would tell me I couldn’t have something or do something because it’s too expensive or whatever and every time I’d respond back in my mind like “no wtf. It’s cheap asf actually.” I used this to lower my rent (somebody pays it for me now) and medications costs and ofc flights. Literally anything I want because I have come to understand that it’s just me. 

Similarly, it’s just you in your reality. The 3d is you and you shouldn’t fear it. Let it remind you of who you now are— the creator that has everything they want. Giving her power and trying to act like she isn’t there makes zero sense. Now that you have all your desires, are you gonna act like they are not real because you can “see” them in the 3d? No. That would be stupid and nonsensical.

[peppertoastuniverse]

pep reads: gojo satoru – long fics (pt.1)

Part 2

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☆ the way you love me by @peachsayshi [AO3/tumblr] [status: ongoing ◦ 29/? chapters] [smut!] [fwb!gojo] #pep's first fic she was OBSESSED with #real good good smut WITH FEELINGS

“We can stop anytime. If either one of us feels like... this ...might be too much. We stop, no questions .” “We can stop anytime,” Gojo repeated “... and nothing changes between us .” You swallowed hard at his last statement. You may not be able to read his eyes but you could hear it in his voice that he needed reassurance. “No matter what happens, we’ll still be friends...” you replied softly, “now kiss me before I change my mind.”

☆ you and me by tomodachi [AO3: ] [status: completed ◦ 5/5 chapters] [tear jerker] [eventual smut!] #pep cried #gojo just kinda loves you real hard

“Prisoners say the most comical things when their judgment comes,” you tilt your head, lifting a finger before him, “Who are you?"

--- History is written by the winners, Satoru knew this well. It was only when he lost and got sealed inside the Prison Realm he learned how to be weak and find out a long buried truth.

☆ ito by @peekamatcha [AO3] [status: ongoing ◦ 48/? chapters] [super slow burn] [shinto elements] #pep DIES with every update #the TWIST in that one chapter omg

You, a former sorcerer now working as a university lecturer, were hoping to maintain your distance with the sorcerer world for an eternity to come. However, with the reappearance of an upperclassmen from a decade ago, you are forced to go on a journey which you would rather sit out of. But somebody must save humanity from the impending apocalypse and apparently the job falls on the shoulders of you two.

It would have been alright had he not been everything you didn’t want to be reminded of. And the sacrifices to be made may be more than what had been bargained for. ☆moonlight by @septembersummer [AO3/tumblr:] [status: completed ◦ 10/10 chapters] [smut!] #pep loves this AU #pep SCREAMED

Gojo Satoru is dying. And no, it's not his fault this time.

The curse which is withering Satoru into an early grave is actually the product of his great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather, who had a couple of sons that refused to procreate. And what does a proud, powerful man do when his sons refuse to fuck, and there won't be another heir to the clan?

He curses his own bloodline, of course.

It's only natural that he forces them through some twisted form of sorcery to become uncontrollably, violently attracted to the person they're most genetically compatible with.

It's even better that the curse creates a permanent, unbreakable bond between the two unwilling lovers. That's right, it usually takes more than one fuck to make a baby-- so, why not force them to have twelve?

Satoru wished his ancestor would be resurrected from the grave, just so that he could kill him again. That is, before Satoru inevitably dies.

He's had a good run, he thinks. Now, all he has to do is make sure you don't find out that you can fuck him back to life and try to very stupidly save him from himself.

(here's a spoiler: you do).

☆ a typical family by @literalia [AO3/tumblr] [status: completed? ◦ 32/32 chapters] [non liner narrative] [dad!gojo] #pep absolutely MELTED #slice of life #pep's gojo comfort fic

"satoru. where did you get these kids?"

or

after a six month absence, satoru shows up at your door two little kids following behind. chaos ensues.

☆ and if i cant see by hollowdonut [AO3: ] [status: unknown ◦ 26/? chapters] [slowburn] [eventual smut!] [tw: ptsd] #pep loves the reader's dynamics with gojo!

They say eyes are the window to the soul, but Gojo’s eyes are almost always hidden behind a blindfold. Even when they aren’t, you can never tell what he’s thinking.

You wonder if you should’ve taken that teaching job in Kyoto instead.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ

bonus!

☆ all hail the empress! by @chuluoyi [tumblr/AO3: ] [status: unknown ◦ 1/? chapters] [smut!] #pep loves this AU #but THE END THO? OMGGG you are an empress perfect in every way... until your husband suddenly casts you aside for his expecting mistress. but you won't be dethroned just like that, because the newly coronated western emperor, gojo satoru, sets his sights on you, and thus your revenge against your ex-husband begins...

[heartfullofleeches]

Yan Cheater + Cheater Reader

Yan Cheaters are funny lemme try-

Yan Cheater who sees their darling dearest out on the town alone. You should be with them, but they'll fix that shortly. You're the person of their dreams and after so many failed relationships they're happy to find the right one. On their way over, their entire world crumbles as you're seen hugging and chatting up some random with a closeness you've never showed them. The unfamiliar face slings an arm around your shoulder as you walk off together - laughing as if you were without guilt.

You heartless bitch. How could you? After they'd give you their heart - their everything. Fine, fuck you - they could do the same thing. After crying through the night and crying their eyes they hit up a past fling to forget all about you; aggravated that all they can think of as the look at their partner is features that remind them of you. They ignore your calls, block you on everything, and have the time of their life with whoever's available... And looks like you.

The first time you saw them with someone else you turned tail and ran, saving your tears for a better time and person. Good - run off. You know what you did. They won't chase you - no matter how red their heart bleeds after seeing you after so long. You meet again at a party a mutual friend left in the dark was throwing. You, for closure - them, looking for a new body to take home. They couldn't even hide their disgust as you stomped up to them, two lockets in hand.

"What the hell did I do to you...."

They scoff. Trying to play innocent? "You know what you did."

"No! No I don't! You ghost me for weeks and never seem to be home when I try to talk to you, but the second I see you, you have your arm around somebody else. As far I remember, we were happy together. What did I do to you to deserve this?!"

"Hm... I think it was roughly a month ago. You and that little whore you met outside that coffee shop that just opened."

"Coffee shop?... Wha-" Your eyes widen. Unable to control your anger, you slap them across the face so hard the blow rattles in their teeth. They clutch their jaw. You little-

"That was my cousin, asshole!"

You toss the necklaces to the ground, two sets of initials engraved on their fronts.

"You didn't even bother to ask me about it before you ran off. If you really loved me, you wouldn't say something instead of jumping to conclusions. I knew dating you was a mistake. You spineless coward."

Their tongue feels heavy, likely cut on their teeth from your blow - bleeding; just like the heart they thought they lost. In a way - they truly had.

"Couldn't get a refund since they were custom" You spit on the fallen jewelry as you turn your back to them. "Happy Anniversary."

They fall to their knees, crawling after you as you fall into the crowd - grabbing your ankle. "No, baby. Please, baby - I fucked up bad, I know, but I can make this up to you. Sweetheart please - I'll delete everyone in my phone right now, even my parents. You'll be the only one. You're all I need. Baby, see? I'm doing it - look. Look at me - I'm sorry. Angel? Honey? D- don't leave me... DON'T LEAVE ME."

You have to change your phone number the very next day from all the calls you receive from the burner phones they purchased that same night to speak their part. Jobs too - as they stand outside and harass customers since your boss refused to let them in by your own wishes - accusing everyone of trying to take you away from them. You return home one day to find your front door unlocked and before you can realize the danger you step inside - your ex waiting with a carbon copy of every gift you threw out and wearing everything you ever gave them.

"Darling... I'm wearing that shirt you bought me last Christmas. I honestly thought it was hideous - but...it came from you. I'm wearing that hoodie you thought you lost too. I lied because I wanted to have something that smells like you to keep. It doesn't smell much like you anymore. Only my tears. I'm sorry - I won't ever lie to you again. You're perfect. My sweet angel. Please...give me a second chance. I don't know what I'll do if you don't."

[chaotic-toasters]

Tunnel Vision

Arsenal Women x Teen! Reader

Thanks to @scribblesofagoonerr for helping me on this every time I got stuck (I got stuck a lot 💀)

TW: Graphic descriptions of injury and blood, allusion to a panic attack

----------------------

"Hi, Foxy!" you chirped, hugging the older American from behind. "Are you ready to kick Aston Villa's butt?"

"Hey, kid," she smiled fondly, squeezing you tightly. "I'm always ready. That reminds me, are you all packed for US camp next week?"

"Yeah," you responded with a grin. "I'm excited to see everybody."

Emily released you, ruffling your hair as everyone began lining up in the tunnel. "They're all excited to see you too, but let's focus on the match right now."

"Okay, Foxy." Just before you slipped into your match mindset, somebody else tapped you on the shoulder.

"Oi," the new voice whispered. "No hello for your old roommate?"

"Jordan!" you beamed, tackling the older girl in a hug. "I missed you!"

The Brit's smile was blinding. "I've missed you too, kid. We'll talk more after the game, okay?"

You nodded, hugging her again before stepping into line behind Frida. It was always nice seeing old teammates, but you had no problem beating them in matches.

-

With the score at 4-1 in favor of Arsenal, the gunners should have been having a great time. For some reason, though, your teammates wanted more. They were hungry for a bigger gap in the scoresheet, and it was messing with some of their heads. Steph was pushed up even farther than usual, Leah's tackles were unreasonably harsh, and Stina's shots were so powerful, it was almost like she was angry. The most noticeable change in behavior, though, was Alessia's.

The Englishwoman's challenges and touches to other players were far more fierce than they should have been, and some of the Aston Villa players were making a conscious effort to stay away from her.

You, on the other hand, didn't think the forward's aggression applied to you. That was why you didn't blink twice when Alessia sprinted towards you in the box, trying to open herself up for a pass.

It was unfortunate, to say the least. Most of the players on the field were crowded into the 18-yard box, so when Alessia accidentally slammed into your side, none of the players or officials saw it. Alessia herself didn't even notice, too focused on the ball and too high on adrenaline to feel just how hard she'd hit someone.

Play continued on as you went flying headfirst into the advertising boards, colliding with the signs with a sickening crunch, players too busy yelling and trying to push each other out of the way to hear or see. Not that you could tell. To you, the world was completely devoid of sound. The nearly sold-out Emirates Stadium was silent and dark, things around you terribly blurry and dim. You tried to pull yourself to your feet, but your hand merely shook on your chest as blood started creeping down your forehead. It was strange, you thought, how you could be bleeding like this, but not feel any pain. While debating whether it was a good or bad thing, you passed out.

-

It was Beth's scream of terror that caused play to die down. She'd taken up space on the wing, looking for a pass, but when she glanced up at the goal, her eyes instead zeroed in on your limp form laying in the broken pieces of the advertising board. The Englishwoman's guttural cry of fear had rung out over the roar of the crowd and instantly caught the attention of everyone on the field, and they'd all followed her gaze only to be met with the sight of you, a curtain of crimson slowly oozing down to your cheeks.

"What- what happened?" Emily's voice was weirdly high-pitched as Lotte tried to lead her away. "She- she was fine just a minute ago!"

"Don't look," the Lioness murmured, gently guiding the other defender away by the shoulders. "You'll just worry yourself more if you look."

But she couldn't. Your only American teammate at Arsenal couldn't help but stare as paramedics ran onto the field, surrounding you, talking quietly but quickly amongst themselves. She wanted to look away, she really did, but fear gripped at not only her heart, but her head. It forced her to watch on, to watch as you suffered and didn't respond to the paramedics. The fear was stronger than anything she'd ever felt before, and she was certain that it would be the strongest thing she would ever feel.

-

The gunners were evenly split. Half couldn't tear their eyes away from where the paramedics were lifting you onto a stretcher, and the other half were trying to get their shock-ridden teammates to look elsewhere.

Most of the players apart of the second half were successful in getting the others to direct their attention away from you, but there was one player who was stood inside the box, firmly rooted onto the pitch where she'd stood when the whistle was blown sharply.

Alessia. She'd realized what had happened as soon as she saw you. She may have only felt herself collide with you subconsciously, but she could still remember it. She could remember sprinting as fast as she could, tunnel-visioned on the ball but hitting you in the process, and it was as if she'd been tased with the terrible realization of it all.

She had been the one to push you. She had been the one to send you flying into the advertising boards. She had been the one to cause whatever horrific injury you had just sustained.

She'd been so focused on the game that she'd sent one of the sweetest and most innocent people on the team to A&E.

And for it to be you? You were only sixteen. You were always so happy and and positive, and now you were in bad condition because Alessia was too busy being greedy and wasn't paying attention to anything other than scoring.

As the paramedics carried you away on a stretcher, Alessia's legs gave out beneath her. Her breathing was rapid, guilt taking over every fiber of her being as she gripped at the grass beneath her. Some of her England teammates crouched next to her, speaking quietly, but she was too spaced out to notice.

What was supposed to be a simple match day had turned into a horror show. And there was no one to blame but her.

[mysticheathenn]

What's You're Soul Contract?

Hi, Hexlings!

This pick-a-card reading is about what your soul agreed upon coming to earth. Did you come here to be successful? Break Generational Trauma? Did you come here just for the fun of it? This pick-a-card may help give you more clarity and guidance on why you are here on Earth.

This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help. Tarot should be used as entertainment and not a for sure answer to your problems but as a guide, a sense of hope, and amusement.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

MasterList

Patreon Link

Ko-Fi Donations

NEXT PAC: Patreon Related (I just don't know what as of yet) If you have any suggestions feel free to send them.

Sorry, I have been M.I.A. Depression really is a bitch, but I'm doing better still under the weather but better. I hope everyone is doing well. I missed and love you guys.

Pile l:

What is your Soul Contract? Tarot: 6 of Cups, Ace of Swords, 3 of Wands, 10 of Cups, 10 of Wands, Page of Cups.

Breaking Generational Trauma/Curses. You have a lot of cups and wand energy pile l. This means your pile is all about pent-up fiery emotions that have been denied an avenue to being expressed whether in your lifetime or over the many generations before you. You probably grew up in a household where you are supposed to "stay in a child's place" or "you should be seen not heard." Some of you have to deal with constantly seeing your parents, grandparents, or family in general struggling with money or hating what they do for work but it puts food on the table and clothes on your back but at the end of the day they took out their frustrations on you. I'm hearing "Money is burning a hole in my pocket." Maybe you have one of those parents where you went to your room as soon as they came home because they were always in a bad mood because of how stressed they were or they are penny pinchers like Julius from "Everybody Hates Chris" I heard "That's .49 cents of spilled milk dripping on my table. Somebody is going to drink this milk. Clip Link." They may even hit you for spilling juice even if it were an accident. Either way, you vowed long ago that you were going to break the chains of what your ancestors have passed down. You want to live a life where you can come home to and feel at peace and happy. You want to be that parent that lets your kids feel like they can express themselves while establishing healthy boundaries. Some of you I am even hearing will never stay with someone for the sake of the kids like some of your parents have done. You overall want to live a life where you don't have to apologize, walk on eggshells, or be miserable. Your soul contract is basically to live your life outside the boundaries of what your ancestors have placed on each generation and to pass that same freedom on to those around you or your kids. You are meant to live out loud and maybe even cut off family members if you feel called to do that. I am even hearing that some of you are in the process of re-parenting your parents. Helping or teaching them that the ways of what they knew are wrong and that if they want to remain in your life they need to make changes.

Pile ll:

What is your Soul Contract? Tarot: Page of Pentacles, The World, The Sun, 8 of Pentacles, Queen of Swords

Independence/Financial Abundance. Your soul contract reminds me a bit of pile l but only 1% of it when it deals with breaking trauma/curses surrounding money. You probably grew up if not poor you grew up okay. While you weren't poor your family wasn't rich or even middle class, they were a little above working paycheck to paycheck. For some of you, this has nothing to do with growing up poor but more so with wanting a better life for yourself so you can provide for those around you especially if you are close to family. If not family you may just want Fuck you money to lavishly spend. Some of you want to pay off your parent's mortgage or buy them their dream car. Whatever it is as everyone has their personal reasoning for why they want financial abundance or independence, you are placed here to experience riches and create abundance. I am hearing that some of you want to make a change within the world. You want to grow a business where employees are treated fairly and paid a living wage. This reminds me of the CEO who took a pay cut so he could give all his employees including himself a starting salary of 70k. You want to help out the needy and give back to whatever you can, I'm hearing about finding new solutions to food waste for very few of you. Either way, you are meant to be your own boss. You were never meant to work underneath someone and I feel quite a few of you have been feeling that feeling for quite a while now but don't know how to break the chains, don't have a business idea/where to start, or don't know how to get the funding to start your business idea. Just remember to ask and you shall receive speak to your guides and ask them for help, a sign, or to put someone in your path who can help you out. In the meantime, please be careful with who you share your ideas with. Some of you are too trusting with your friends and family group not knowing they are waiting to see you fail or talk you out of the idea because they want you to remain in the same position as them knowing they could never amount to half your potential. Some of them remind me of the popular TikTok trend from Snowfall "Me. I built this shit. Brick by Brick and I'll be dam if you tear it down because you don't like the way another n*gga talk." Some also just want to latch onto you, remember not everyone is meant to walk the same path. Some people are meant to be left behind or they will keep you in the same place as you are now with wanting handouts, filling you with limiting beliefs, etc.

Pile lll:

What is your Soul Contract? Tarot:10 of Cups/10 of Pentacles, The Wheel, 4 of Cups, The Tower (clarified by the Chariot), The Hermit

Divinity / Spiritual Growth/ Light & Love. You may be seeing the number 1010 everywhere pile lll. You have the 10 of Pentacles, 10 of Cups, and The Wheel is the 10th card in my "The Muse Tarot Deck." The 1010 angel number serves as a guiding light, illuminating your journey in love, money, and spiritual growth. You were placed on this earth to spread light and love, becoming the embodiment of it, and to walk a spiritual path. For some of you this spiritual path may be a religious path, take what resonates and leave what does not. I mostly feel this is a spiritual group because of the symbolism on each card that came out for you. Some of you are leaving your religious background for spirituality because you saw how religion has turned the people around you into the complete opposite of what they teach during Sunday service, some of you are leaving because you felt that the religion doesn't align with you anymore and you feel lost but somehow spirituality has been calling your name and has done some things for you but you feel some type of guilt surrounding it because of your upbringing. For others of you, this may be vice versa where you decide to go back to church, etc. Again take what resonates and leave what does not, either way, you are finding your way back to god (Universe, Allah, Source, etc) and wanting to bring more harmony, love, and community into your life. You probably have been going through some changes recently and for some of you who are atheist or agnostic and experiencing the feeling of being lost, like the way you are living can't just be this, or feeling that there is no way that you are here to just take up space and struggle. You are trying to find more meaning in life because you are on the verge of a mental breakdown or may even have thoughts of suicide because of how alone you have been feeling. Overall you were meant to find yourself. You are meant to come back to yourself through spiritual or religious means. Finding a community that shows you that there is light and love in this world and you aren't alone nor placed here as a waste of space or to struggle. I heard God loves the little children bible school song and this little light of mine. I feel those two songs are to let you know that within the darkness there is always a bit of light at the end of the tunnel you just can't see it because you're honed into the darkness not looking for the light. Also that you are loved whether you feel that way or not. Your community is out there, don't give up.

Pile lV:

What is your Soul Contract? Tarot: Queen of Wands, 9 of Pentacles, Knight of Cups, 4 of Swords, 4 of Cups, 10 of Wands (reversed)

Love/Beauty/Life. You may be seeing 44 or 444 everywhere pile lV. That is for just a few of you not everyone but pile lV your soul contract, the reason you are here is to experience all of life's beauty, glory, and love. Your pile somewhat reminds me of pile lll but only 1% of it is about finding yourself, but for a few of you the whole reading might resonate also. Anyway, you are here to experience being human. I mean after all, you are a spiritual being having a human experience. Some of you probably wonder why you go through tough times or maybe get pissed off at even small inconveniences and I'm here to let you know it's all a part of your process, mission, and experience. You are meant to see life's beauty, travel, fall in love, get your heart broken, make life-long friends, have your first fight, lose all of your money, win the lottery.... all of it...do you hear me? You are meant to experience the good with the bad. The small details of life like Starbucks's pumpkin spice lattes to the smell of books in the library or book store. You signed up to also find yourself amongst experiencing all the large and small things in life. To live your life unapologetically and to be free from what society has placed on what it is to being a human, an adult, etc. If you haven't seen the movie Soul by Pixar/Disney I highly recommend it as this is literally your pile. You were meant to say what goes for your life and what does not because everything is temporary. You know the question "If you were on your deathbed what would your regrets be? What would you have wished you would have done more of? What would you have done less of? Those questions that people love to ask old people.....that is your soul contract. To be asked on your death bed some of those questions and being able to say you lived life exactly how you wanted to live it: Beautifully, authentically, boldly, and filled with love and freedom surrounded by those you love and who deeply love and express their love for you. While you are meant to experience some struggle as it is a part of the human experience you are not meant to live one that is traditional, rigid, or stale. Go bungee jumping, get a tattoo sleeve (or fake one), take risks and ask out the guy first, and write that book that has been on your mind even if you don't plan on sharing it. Overall, do you boo, do you. Live life with no regrets. Live life as if Wes Anderson was the director. If you were a book genre it would be coming of age.

Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.

Stay safe and be blessed

[chattemagique]

yandere! AllMight headcannons + chapter 1 (?)

tw: self-harm, kidnapping, use of curse word (fuck), stalking, obsessive behavior, mentions of daddy issues, indirect mentons of suicide, reader has mental issues fem!bodied reader, mentions of sex

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

PROCEED WITH CARE

- Basically his associations with his first crush and you influenced his main delusions. Also that you wanted to become a superhero, which is so altruistic, just as she was and he was. You were totally made for him. And even in this difficult situation he was there as your savior to guide you towards the right path.

-yan! All might doesn't see you as a villain

-rather as lost young woman or rather babygirl (im sorry for the old ass joke, this actually stayed in my drafts for almost a year)

-delusional yes -his roles in reader's life borders between someone similar to a father figure and a lover, leaning more towards the lover side -would play a therapist with you -could give you the whole world if only you stayed with him and listened to him, stop committing crime and maybe found yourself some hobby or activity that you like

-he would try to be your therapist, would do a little research on mental health and self-harm as he's busy with work/or ask the therapists that worked in the same company as him

Just imagine sitting in his lap while crying in his chest. His hand slowly caressing your back while whispering sweet, comforting words in your ear that it's going to be alright, that he's going to help you get through this.

-ngl I feel like (y/n) would be the first one to initiate sex despite All might being delusional he wouldn't force himself onto you he's just not built this way (kidnapping doesn't count tho ) besides he did that to save you from prison

-It'd be after some time, when he's tried talking to you, feed you with your favorite food and many other interesting, cute desserts that he'd usually bring Midoriya, walking with you in the garden (in the house that he'd brought you in) out of desperation you just kinda started to open up to him, bc there was nowhere else to go.

-he's actually completely fine with you disappearing and not appearing in public anymore, if you don't wanna be a hero

-if you do, then he will "wipe out" any information about this robbing case which has your name, using his connections or/and suggest you to change your name 

***

There used to be a time, when you wanted to become a hero. Not anymore tho. You're even started to doubt whether this wish was yours and not somebody else's.. Were you yourself or just wearing a mask, pretending to be a good person, when in reality just a hypocrite.

The bank's visitors and employees all had their faces planted on the floor while your partner in crime used his quirk to emit temporarily paralyzing smoke to watch them.  You took money from safe deposit boxes.  Someone's money lol.

You didn't expect that he would be here. You were hoping that some average hero would arrive here, when you had already stolen some amount and slipped away together with your partner in crime.

"I AM HERE"

-Shit

Having barely fastened your bag, you headed to the back exit, which led into narrow alleys.  Hearing how your partner was arrested, deciding that all the attention would be on him, you ran as far as possible, weaving through the streets.  Finally seeing the descent into the subway. Since it was night, there was no one in particular and you headed as far as possible.

"Damn, I thought, that I might have to use you, " you caressed the gun through your jacket. It had two bullets, in case if this ain't going to end well and you wouldn't want to suffer in prison. It was that bad and hopeless.

The thing is he still remembers you from the first time he met you 2 years ago, when you were leaving your job at night. He saved you from the robber with a gun.

You reminded him of his first crush, your face, your body, your hair, smell, voice, your beauty, everything. And your potential that he saw in you, when you still wanted to become a superhero.

From that time he watches you all the time.. At first he thought that it wasn't normal, but he just couldn't help himself to keep watching you. Especially when he saw the scars on your wrist.

So the days went on and on and you totally forgot about this accident and couldn't even imagine that someone like nr.1 hero was stalking you.

Obviously, he was very disappointed when he found out about your robbing plans. And he never really liked your villain friend. How could somebody like you even be friends with him?! But that was also a part of your charm, since you tried not to judge people by their cover. So why were you then so judgemental about yourself?

A sudden looming figure was approaching you from the other side of the tunnel. You tried to change the directions, but it was following you. You're at a dead end now. Either you're going to the police, either to them now. Well, you decided to test your chances and meet them.

"okay" you thought, "imma just act as if I'm lost and looking for a way out towards the forest."

You saw some tall middle aged man and decided to just walk past him, as if you're looking for another exit.

"y/n"

You stopped.

"You're on a wrong path."

"Sorry?" you were confused. Who the fuck was he?

You turned your head. Your eyes met.

No. There's no way it's him.

He transformed into his full form and the tunnel room seemed so small in a second.

You didn't realize how you released the bag from your hand and were going to try to run through walls. Your quirk wasn't that advanced, but you could walk through walls. Only it was already too late as you approached the closest wall and felt your heavy eyelids closing.

You woke up in bedroom. Similar to the one you had at your home. You even thought that It was the one and that this whole non-sense from yesterday was just a dream. But it wasn't. Soon you noticed the difference from your usual room.

Your left leg felt heavier than usual. There was a black anklet that you couldn't remove. The room lacked some decor and also the drawers and wardrobe had other clothes you've never had. After inspecting the room, you decided to see what else could be hidden here. There was a big, dark brown woody closet with mirror. You opened it. Suddenly you noticed that the back of the closet was covered with pictures of you. Pictures of you being outside and inside of your room through window.. Scary shit. What the actual fuck.

You just remembered that it was All Might who you've met yesterday in the tunnel. The shocking memory made you fall back and hit the side of the bed.

"Ouch!"

Suddenly the door knob started moving and he walked in.

"(y/n), are you okay?"

You were probably delusional. You were surely delusional. This situation wasn't even serious. It couldn't. You were sleeping. Sleeping for sure.

If only.

"W-what do y-you want from m-me?" your voice was trembling.

"I want you to feel and become better.. with me." Nr.1 said surely.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What if Harry did kill Draco in the bathroom? (other than malfoy wealth getting bagged by ministry, supposedly)

Mostly nothing.

Specifically, What Happens?

Snape, who comes rushing in when Myrtle starts screaming murder, immediately starts to work trying to save Draco and kicks Harry out. Harry walks out in a daze, as he did in canon, and everything's the same--except that Draco doesn't make it.

Harry, panicking, wonders what's going to happen to him now. Will he be put on trial? Is he a murderer? But he didn't mean it and he didn't know what, specifically, that spell did. Draco had just cast an unforgivable at Harry and Harry had unthinkingly used a spell 'for enemies' whose exact effects he didn't know.

I imagine Harry confesses to Ron and Hermione, and while they're both sympathetic and don't blame him... Hermione can't help her "I told you so" moment where she had told him, months ago, that he shouldn't have been using spells in a book written by a malcontent whose effects he didn't fully know himself. And it turns out she was right, and Harry has now used Dark Magic to murder Draco Malfoy.

Harry waits on pins and needles and is called into Dumbledore's office. I imagine it's just him and Dumbledore, while Snape would love to be present, I imagine Dumbledore says no as it would only... aggravate things.

Dumbledore tells Harry that they're going to cover this up to the Ministry.

This was an accident, a horrible accident, and as far as the outside world is concerned, Draco died via some horrible unintended accident and Harry had nothing to do with it.

Harry has mixed feelings about this, as that's not what happened, but is guiltily relieved that this won't be taken to the Ministry.

Dumbledore assuages this by reminding him that it was an accident. It was a heated duel that shouldn't have happened, but duels do happen between boys. Draco had cast an unforgivable first, Harry had panicked and reached into his arsenal for something more than disarming spells. Yes, Harry shouldn't have used that spell, especially not knowing what it did, but he didn't intend for Draco to die. This was hardly a calculated murder.

The events are simply... unfortunate.

"But what about Myrtle?" Harry asks, as Myrtle had immediately alerted the entire fucking school that Harry had been the one responsible.

Dumbledore has had a word with Myrtle, and as for everyone else, they only have the word of a ghost who is... how shall we say "not known for being particularly reliable". Right now, this is just a rumor, the only real witness is Snape who has been given instructions to say absolutely nothing.

Now, Harry blows his lid at that because you can't trust Snape at all, but Dumbledore tells him to shut the fuck up, Harry, you just killed a boy.

Also, Dumbledore sure hopes Harry didn't tell Ron and Hermione. Oh, you did? Immediately? Well, they won't tell anyone.

Point is, Harry, that Myrtle's immediately changed her story and is now saying she was being "dramatic", no one witnessed it, and this will just be a dumb rumor that no one can ever prove. All Harry has to do is say he was not there (and why would he be in the empty Myrtle bathroom right then anyway?) and no one will ever know.

But shouldn't Harry tell people what happened? It's true he didn't mean it, and that he's innocent of intending murder, but shouldn't he tell everyone?

Dumbledore gives Harry a whole speech on "sometimes, you do a very bad thing, after doing a series of very bad things, and somebody dies, and it might have even been you who killed your sister er Draco, then what you have to do is live the rest of your life knowing this and never tell a fucking soul."

Harry's still very :/ about this but then Dumbledore reminds him "Harry, you have shit to do". Harry has to defeat Voldemort, sending Harry to Azkaban for an unintended death, tragic as it is, is only a boon to Voldemort and the Death Eaters. It accomplishes nothing. Moreover, no one wants the Boy Who Lived to have murdered a young boy in Hogwarts. Like it or not, Harry, you're a symbol and right now the hope of the wizarding world rests on your head. If Harry Potter murdered a boy, then the wizarding world will lose everything they ever held hope in and the war will have been lost before it could even begin.

Harry's punishment will be having to live with this for the rest of his life.

This also sets Harry off again, as this is more or less what Scrimgeour told him a few months prior: that Harry, as a symbol, owes it to the people to bolster their spirits through propaganda. Harry doesn't want to be a symbol! He isn't a symbol!

And here Dumbledore has to admit what he... really... didn't want to. Harry, he knew Draco was trying to assassinate him. Cue Harry's shocked Pikachu face. But Dumbledore admits he's been fully aware of every single attempt Draco has ever made, but did not intervene because to do so would be to have Draco and his family executed by the Dark Lord. Dumbledore was hoping Draco would come to Dumbledore of his own accord for protection for him and his mother. Now, because of this... a few... students... may have been hurt and now Draco himself is dead in an entirely preventable manner.

But why didn't he tell Harry?!

Really wasn't your fucking business, Harry.

But if Harry had known--

Harry, you would have either a) acted extremely suspicious as you suddenly stopped harassing Draco out of nowhere for no reason or b) crowed to the rooftops that Draco really is a Death Eater and caused him to become even more desperate.

Harry has now completely forgotten that propaganda bit and is livid that, yet again, Dumbledore didn't fucking trust him with anything and this is just his fifth year all over again. And every time he tried to tell Dumbledore that something was wrong, Dumbledore was internally laughing in his face.

And here, Harry had been so anxious and horrified, when it turns out he'd just killed a fucking Death Eater. Just like he'd thought.

(Dumbledore acknowledges this pep talk could be going better...)

Regardless, with a final, "er, don't do anything stupid and I hope you've understood all of this", Dumbledore sends him back to bed and tells him all will be well.

After the Meeting

And all is...

Not well.

It's true, the Ministry doesn't come for him. The Prophet releases an article that Draco Malfoy suffered a horrible fatal accident, he was eaten by--plants! Evil plants! That's why his face is so cut up (and I imagine new damage was done to the body, by a very pissed off Snape, who now has to cover for fucking Harry Potter's murders).

Harry realizes that everyone fully suspects him of the murder, and they're clearly avoiding him, but no one's accusing him outright. But this is more or less what happened in canon when Draco had only been attacked.

Harry's very pissed about this, and probably has come around to believing "well, it wasn't intentional, and he might as well have been eaten by plants, and he was a Death Eater anyway, so I did no wrong". Though he agrees the book was bad idea.

As a result--

Harry probably still ends up in his Ginny fling.

He's also invited Horcrux hunting, with the same result, only the key difference here is that Draco hasn't let Death Eaters into the castle. The wardrobe was never finished and Rosmerta is no longer under the Imperius.

So, Harry reluctantly instead has to take Dumbledore to Snape, and he's very upset about this as Snape also, clearly, knew what Draco was up to the entire time and Harry still doesn't trust him even if Dumbledore thinks he was giving him everything.

"I'm dying again, tee-hee" Dumbledore says to Snape, and Snape just looks at Harry and--on the one hand, Dumbledore probably did this to himself, on the other hand, how big is Harry's body count going to become.

Snape throws Harry out of his office.

Now, what happens next depends how lethal that green juice really was.

If Snape knows Dumbledore's organs are melting and there's nothing he can do to stop it, then Snape's got a problem. See, Dumbledore wants the wand to pass on to someone unexpected. Specifically, he wanted it to go to Draco, with Snape taking the fall. Well, Draco's dead. On the other hand, if Snape just lets Dumbledore die of poison... does Voldemort get the wand because he brewed it and placed it there? Snape, in that case, hating everything, has to kill Dumbledore himself and then come out "woops, he died of poison", with Harry immediately suspecting (rightly so) that Snape killed him and telling the entire fucking castle "SNAPE KILLED DUMBLEDORE", even though Snape's been covering for his sorry ass for weeks. The difference being that this time, Snape's cover isn't blown so he just sits there and takes it.

(Another irony being that Harry was the one who went out with Dumbledore under mysterious circumstances, where Dumbledore returned clearly poisoned, and now it sounds like he's shifting the blame onto someone else after Harry is already rumored to have brutally killed Draco Malfoy.

But this was also in canon, as Harry was shocked and appalled that, a few weeks later, Harry was being openly suspected and to be arrested for the murder of Albus Dumbledore.)

If Dumbledore survives--I imagine he's even more cursed looking than before, and is very sad as he thinks about all the Horcruxes left to go. "Dumbledore, do you want to put a more effective plan in action and actually tell anyone anything?" No. No, he doesn't. He's just going to continue to pretend he's going to live forever (and Voldemort, I imagine, finds this too hilarious to do anything about. This sad old man just keeps getting more and more feeble with every passing day. What happened to "death is the next great adventure?")

Deathly Hallows and Beyond

If Dumbledore dies, then Deathly Hallows likely still happens relatively unchanged. Harry breaks things off with Ginny, decides Snape is the devil, and realizes that he has to leave Hogwarts to hunt Horcruxes. Ron and Hermione offer to go with him.

Snape still feeds him information, but has a much easier time of it as the Order doesn't think he's a traitor for all Harry keeps shouting it from the rooftops.

Snape likely still gets killed by Voldemort who realizes "oh, you probably killed him in his final moments, lol lol lol, eat him Nagini." Harry may or may not be there to see his final memories and realize "Oh, I am a Horcrux" and go to the woods to die.

Afterwards--Narcissa won't be covering for Harry, as Harry fucking murdered her son, but that could just mean that he and Voldemort get into their final duel before the Great Hall and that the curse just rebounds in the woods. Though Voldemort may just choose to knock Harry out, pretend he's dead, then imprison him, or have Bellatrix do it.

But it's possible canon just happens as it does.

If Dumbledore survives, Harry goes to Hogwarts for his seventh year where he and Dumbledore continue to review weird memories and occasionally, Harry gets to go Horcrux hunting with him. Occasionally, being only after Dumbledore has scoped out said location, decided there's a Horcrux there, figured out most of the traps, and so on.

Dumbledore also investigates the RAB thing (because who fucking got there before them?!) but, depending on if Harry remembers seeing that locket in Grimmuald Place, may or may not lead them to Kreacher. Though perhaps they'll see Umbridge wearing the locket around her neck.

And Harry harasses Snape as often as he can, telling Snape he's guilty of everything. Snape just reminds him, "I covered up your murder, bitch" which Harry does not appreciate.

Voldemort still tours Europe trying to get a wand that can end Harry, and eventually concludes "Oh, Dumbledore has it" and then comes to Hogwarts to finish the man himself once and for all. And then Dumbledore starts sweating because... he's in bad shape, Tom now knows, but if Dumbledore has someone else kill him first then Tom will know to find that person, or kills himself because Tom is coming for him then does it default to Tom being his murderer? Oh boy.

"Um, Harry, kill me, take this wand, and run."

[velvetcloxds]

looking for somebody- send me a gif of a character and I'll write a little baby blurb for it

LIPGLOSS | C.S.

word count: 0.9k

warnings: age gap, as always, reader who wears makeup?

summary: you always forget your stuff in charlie's car, but he doesn't mind all that much since it's a good excuse to get some extra kisses before you go

You made it halfway to the door when you realized your lips were uncharacteristically dry, the pause in your steps making Charlie frown from across the parking lot where he was watching and waiting for you to go inside. He wasn't all that fond of his current spot in the first place, he was too far from the door and he didn't like it at all, having to shift around slightly from where he leaned back against the car to see you and he raised a brow when you turned around and started marching right back towards him.

"What's wrong?" he was straight to the point when you were close enough to hear him, adjusting the tote back on your shoulder, regretting that extra book you forced in there now that your quick walk into work would be repeated more than once, Charlie noticed, not even thinking before taking it from you, looking into it with hidden judgment as he saw how much you had in there.

"Nothing's wrong," you smiled, scrunching your nose at his raised brow, gently forcing him to scoot up and away from the door so that you could open it, missing the little loving look of exasperation as he looked around the parking lot and then stole a glance at his watch, he didn't want you to be late. "Forgot my lipgloss," you explained from inside the car, knee digging into his seat as he tried and failed not to steal a glance at the sight in front of him, you looking into the little mirror to apply the sticky goo.

He was always intrigued by that little gesture, amused by the focused look on your face, the little pout to make the job easier, or even the little head movements to move closer and further from the mirror- it was the cutest thing in the world, he'd decided, though that changed daily with you.

"Take it with you," Charlie suggested, hand coming up to cover the frame of the door where you'd move your head through to make sure you didn't bump in. "I'm sure you can find room in here somewhere," you breathed a scoff at that, taking your bag from his hand and throwing the lipgloss right back into the little cup holder by the gearshift.

"I'll lose it if I take it with me," you explained to him and his hand found your waist before he could think about it, lips tilting just slightly, it was considered a smile by his standards. "At least here I'll know it's safe, got a whole policeman to protect it," he hummed, it was a lovely sound, one of your favourites, it forced you to steal a quick kiss from him, thumb instantly coming up to wipe away your gloss from his lips.

"I'm going to bring you lunch," you wanted to object, reminding him that you did in fact pack something to eat later, but then again, you knew it didn't count as lunch for him. "I'll stop by the diner, get you some pie, know you've been craving some," it was a sickeningly sweet offer, you'd mentioned you craving something sweet last night, he was getting ready for bed and you were sure he wasn't listening but then again, Charlie always pays attention when it's you.

"Will you get yourself a piece too? Stay here and eat with me?" he was considering it, didn't know if he'd have time with everything going on in town as of late, but he knew he couldn't say no to you, you knew too.

"I will," he was the one to steal a kiss, right on your forehead, gently guiding you away from the car, telling you it was time to go, and even if you didn't want to, you knew you should. "Have a good day, sweetheart."

"You too, bear, I'll see you later," you were walking backward, he absolutely hated it, instinctively moving forward with every step you took back, wanting to be able to catch you just in case. "Don't lose my lipgloss."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

[ohdorothea]

This tournament is being run by and for queer fans so please keep that in mind! Homophobes will be blocked on sight <3 More polls here and more info and lyrics for the songs under the cut!

The question is which song is queerer to you! Queerer can mean whatever you want it to mean; you might consider a song queer because you think it was written that way, or because of Swiftian lore. It might be queer to you because of how you relate it to your own life. Maybe you think from a purely literary standpoint the lyrics have queer themes; maybe you're just thinking about vibes!!!

If you’d like to send in interpretations or propaganda for a specific song you can send them to my inbox! All interpretations are welcome and let’s be open and kind in response to all interpretations <3

🫶🫶🫶

Wonderland lyrics

Flashing lights and we

Took a wrong turn, and we

Fell down a rabbit hole

You held on tight to me

'Cause nothing's as it seems

And spinning out of control

Didn't they tell us "Don't rush into things"?

Didn't you flash your green eyes at me?

Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds?

Ooh, didn't it all seem new and exciting?

I felt your arms twisting around me

I should've slept with one eye open at night

We found Wonderland

You and I got lost in it

And we pretended it could last forever, eh-eh

We found Wonderland

You and I got lost in it

And life was never worse but never better, eh-eh

Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh, in Wonderland

Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh, in Wonderland

Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh, in Wonderland

Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh, in Wonderland

So we went on our way

Too in love to think straight

All alone, or so it seemed

But there were strangers watching

And whispers turned to talking

And talking turned to screams, oh

Didn't they tell us "Don't rush into things"?

Didn't you flash your green eyes at me?

Didn't you calm my fears with a Cheshire Cat smile?

Ooh, didn't it all seem new and exciting?

I felt your arms twisting around me

It's all fun and games till somebody loses their mind

Oh, darling

We found Wonderland

You and I got lost in it

And we pretended it could last forever, eh-eh

We found Wonderland

You and I got lost in it

And life was never worse but never better, eh-eh

Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh, in Wonderland

Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh, in Wonderland

Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh, in Wonderland

Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh, in Wonderland

I reached for you, but you were gone

I knew I had to go back home

You searched the world for something else

To make you feel like what we had

And in the end, in Wonderland we both went mad, oh

We found Wonderland

You and I got lost in it

And we pretended it could last forever, eh-eh (Could last forever)

We found Wonderland

You and I got lost in it (Got lost in it)

And life was never worse but never better, eh-eh (Never better)

We found Wonderland

You and I got lost in it (In Wonderland)

And we pretended it could last forever (In Wonderland)

We found Wonderland

You and I got lost in it (In Wonderland)

And life was never worse but never better (In Wonderland)

🫶🫶🫶

Now That We Don't Talk lyrics

You went to a party, I heard from everybody

You part the crowd like the Red Sea, don't even get me started

Did you get anxious though, on the way home?

I guess I'll never, ever know

Now that we don't talk

You grew your hair long, you got new icons

And from the outside, it looks like you're trying lives on

I miss the old ways, you didn't have to change

But I guess I don't have a say

Now that we don't talk

I called my mom, she said that it was for the best

Remind myself the more I gave, you'd want me less

I cannot be your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost

And what it cost

Now that we don't talk

What do you tell your friends we

Shared dinners, long weekends with?

Truth is, I can't pretend it's

Platonic, it's just ended, so

I called my mom, she said to get it off my chest (Off my chest)

Remind myself the way you faded till I left (Till I left)

I cannot be your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost (What I lost)

And what it cost

Now that we don't talk

I don't have to pretend I like acid rock

Or that I'd like to be on a mega-yacht

With important men who think important thoughts

Guess maybe I am better off

Now that we don't talk

And the only way back to my dignity

Was to turn into a shrouded mystery

Just like I had been when you were chasing me

Guess this is how it has to be

Now that we don't talk

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I Gave a 10/10 to a BL... me!

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Nov 2023 Wk 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) ep 4 of 8 - I love this show. I adore Tew's the simple backstory. No frills. No fuss. He got dragged in the way many do and he can kill so they kept him. They aren’t trying to make it needlessly complicated (which is rare for Thailand). That said, the pacing is way tf off, the emotional arc is rushed and then sappy out of absolutely nowhere. Before you ask, the kiss is not at issue, we halfway through they should be kissing, but the romantic life changes - too soon. But I don’t care. Finally, they left us this ep reminded of 2 v important things,

this pair kisses beautifully

in BL all mafia be gay

Fun fun!

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 2 of 12 - It's official, I love this. It’s a classic caregiver/bodyguard trope where one of them is opening the other one up to the world, but sweetly. I’m enjoying the softness of JimmySea's take and I hope GMM TV takes its cues from the success of My School President and doesn’t push this particular show into rough or edgy territory. Stay on target GMMTV. Don't mess with my bias again!

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 3 of 10 - Finally, our adorable side couple has emerged! This show remains engaging without losing pace (despite the main couple being slow burn), which is all I want from a Thai pulp, and more I could ask for currently from a sports BL. 

(Note: when I dictate the computer always puts "Thai pope" instead of Thai pulp - this is hilarious to me.)

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 1 of 14 - I guess they didn’t strip the omegaverse out of this. Unfortunately, I’m not an omegaverse fan, so I find its presence extremely off putting. (But it’s kind of amazing that somebody finally put one on our screen.) Unsurprisingly, it’s a lot of alpha posturing and hyper masculinity, because that’s what this kind of worldbuilding is an excuse for (lazy writing and lazier characterization). This means I don’t like Babe AT ALL except that he’s smell orientated and a bit verse. Way is lovely tho, because Nut is a great soft screen presence amongst the testosterone haze. 

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 2 of 8 - I’m not gonna lie (when have I ever bothered to lie to you all?) I’m struggling with this show. The sound effects are getting worse. That is not allowed. Still I found this installment slightly more bearable than the last last, probably because there was more of the cast in play and less of Jade being too cringe to live. 

Absolute Zero (Weds iQIYI) ep 8 of 12 - AKA temporal paradox of pain.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Friends Forever ep 13 of 24 - Ooo it’s a bit of a teacher/student (coach/player) thing. Linguistic negotiation and kinkification of phi. Also actually kinky. But not consensually. Gonna get dark. Bummer. 

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 1 of 14(!) eps - Whines. Must I? Gaga doesn’t have a skip ahead button. Sad sack main characters really do not work for me. But this was better than I expected. I wasn’t expecting much. 

Look: This is helmed by Cheewin (shudder) with screenplay by Den (Only Friends - shudder the second) under Copy A Bangkok (they deserve not my shuddders). It's gonna be a shizz show people. It's Thai dark War of Y style - my least favorites. Apparently, there is meant to be a "plot" but when has Cheewin ever bothered with plot?

On a completely different note does the blond look like that Korean actor/idol from At a Distance Spring is Green & Wanna One to anyone else? Or is it just me? (Park Ji Hoon)

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

A Breeze of Love (Korea iQIYI) eps 3-4 of 8 - I like it a lot. Dongwook is so obtuse and socially awkward and reserved and needy and Dohyun is so gay over and simultaneously wildly confused by this behavior. Fantastic. A bit stiff, even for Korea, btu I'm okay with it since everything else I'm watching right now is decidedly NOT stiff.

I finished it!

Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru AKA Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo - Japan BL movie 1.5 hr

Best friends life together during university - cheerful sunshine loves to cook, grumpy tsundere loves to eat. Aki is a bit manic pixie dream boy for me (not my favorite archetype) but they’re cute and it’s one of those Japanese slice of life pieces like Our Dining Table that isn’t really a romance in fact it’s barely a drama. This isn’t friends to lovers because they’re basically already in a relationship (which everyone around them knows) they just aren’t fucking. I did spend a lot of time worrying that they weren’t eating any green things whatsoever. In the end this isn’t my thing when there’s no kissing at all, and this was a bit too dull even for JBL. Sorry Japan, one cannot trade on cute and cheese alone. I know, you want to. But that's not a BL or a personality. 6/10 

I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan, maybe coming to Netflix) 8 eps - This classic friends-to-lovers BL is everything Japan does best. Angsty. Emo. Aching. Driven by real thirst. Yamato is deeply in love with his childhood bestie, Kakeru, and has been for ages, unable to hide his ungainly damaging high school need. He wants Kakeru in every way possible and it oozes off of the screen. Kakeru is silly and a little simple, but not frenetic or overly camp about it. He is earnest, and genuinely wants to keep Yamato in his life which means giving a romance (and gayness) a fair chance. We watch him realize his affection and what form it can take in a truly authentic way. This show was impossibly kind to both of its lead characters and I felt honored that I got to watch something so lovely and rare play out on my screen.

I LOVE LOVE LOVED THIS. IT'S SO GOOD.

10/10

Let me be perfectly clear: I have watched 646 BLs and only handed out nine 10/10s.

I talk more about why this one made the cut, here.

It's Airing But...

One Room Angel (Japan Gaga) 6 eps - adaptation of Harada’s manga (which I did not like) about a clerk who's stabbed, nearly dies, and returns home to find an angel waiting for him. With only 5 eps and a good chance this won’t end happy, I'm gonna wait and let you tell me how it goes.

SHADOW (Thai Gaga) 14 eps - I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all) even one featuring Singto and Fluke. I'm holding off on this one and if told it's good I'll binge later.

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed. Waiting to be told if I should bother.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until it completes its run.

Next Week Looks Like This

STARTING

11/20 Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 1 of 6 - trailer here, stars Ohm (of OhmFluke) opposite Guide (bestie from IFYLITA). This looks like an actually gay version of Antique Bakery (play it again, BL). I'm intrigued, it looks HELLA pretty.

11/22 7 Days Before Valentine (Weds ????) ep 1 of 10 - trailer here, horror-esk. Adapted from y-novel of the same name, directed by Tu (180 Degree) stars Jet (Why You… Y Me?). When you want your old love again, but fate sends you a reaper instead. All he can do for you is kill people. I'll likely give this a pass and wait to binge if safe.

11/24 VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - Screenplay by Lin Pei Yu (WBL) about a chef who courts a shy writer with spicy beef noodles.

11/25 The Sign (Sat ????) ep 1 of 10 - trailer here, horror-esk, but with a suspense and adult characters. Special investigators who loved each other in previous lives reunite in new bodies. Stars Billy Patchanon (BillySeng) & Babe Tanatat (new). Includes other SCOY favorites as a special investigation team. I may give this a try (depending on distribution) because I'm into the non-horror bits.

11/26 The Whisperer (Sun ????) 1 of 10 - trailer here. Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). He has dimples (My Ride) but I don't think even that gives me the will. You can tell me how this goes.

11/26 Cooking Crush (Sun YT) 1 of 12 - OffGun are back, trailer here. Adapted from the novel “Love Course! เสื้อกาวน์รุกเสื้อกุ๊กรับ” by iJune4S this is about Prem who runs a not-so-popular restaurant with 2 friends. About to go on a cooking competition with a huge reward, Prem gets involved with Ten, a stressed-out med student who wants Prem to teach him to cook.

Still Coming November BL

11/30 For Him (Thurs ????) ep 1 of 10 - high heat trailer, I suspect iQIYI will scoop this one up. From the people who brought us Unforgotten Night (please no) based on a y-novel, man nursing a heartbreak has a one-night stand, but the other boy didn't want it to end. It looks terribly trashy so I'm in! Maybe I'll do a trash watch?

Nov 2023 line up with screen caps here. Not kept updated.

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

To be fair this was last week but I did get the screen shot until now. (You are Mine)

I Cannot Reach You serving all Japan's favorite tropes plus some very un-Japan decent kisses.

(Last week)

[notmorbid]

fire walk with me.

dialogue prompts from twin peaks: fire walk with me (1992).

make yourself at home. it's gonna be a while.

we don't need any outside help around here.

your behavior is not funny.

we have our own clock.

where are we going to sleep?

you have your own m.o., don't you?

you want to hear about our specials? we don't have any.

are you talking to me in code?

i mean exactly what i said.

i'm gonna make myself a cup of good morning america. you want some?

i've already gone places. i just want to stay where i am.

we live inside a dream.

that's not the way. i told you.

that's what i like about you. you're tough to handle.

quit trying to hold on so tight. i'm gone. long gone.

don't ever leave. i'll never leave you.

you'll be calling soon, and maybe i won't be around.

night time is my time.

why don't you get out your violin?

do you think that if you were falling in space, you would slow down after a while, or go faster and faster?

you will never be a smoker if you don't start.

i don't know when i can come back. maybe never.

what were you doing in my room?

you don't have to lie to me, ever. you can tell me anything. i will understand.

can't we talk about something serious, for a change?

because it is just a feeling, i am powerless to stop it.

i just want one friend. just for one minute.

how about one friend for the rest of your whole life?

i'm your friend no matter what way you are.

even when i just think about your face, i get happier.

where were you last night? i thought we were supposed to get together.

are you telling me there's no santa claus?

you crazy fucking canadian.

remember me? i'm your best friend.

aren't you going to fix me a drink?

when this kind of fire starts, it is very hard to put out.

do you think we're lucky, or just a terrible accident?

i'm as blank as a fart.

how did i get in my house? how'd i get in my bed?

life is full of mysteries, [name].

i don't want you to wear my stuff.

i love you. but i don't want you to be like me.

why doesn't somebody do something about this?

sooner or later, you're going to have to deal with all of this.

it's a school night. back by nine.

bad news, kid.

what is the world coming to?

don't get funny on me again.

let's ditch this place and party.

i'm going home to my bed. to my nice, warm bed.

raccoons remind me of my aunt, who lives in wyoming.

i'm very confused. who am i talking to?

god, why did i say that?

there's no place left to go, is there?

we have everything but everything.

let's get lost together.

open your eyes. you don't even know me.

is it future? or is it past?

where am i? and how can i leave?

you are here. now there is no place to go but home.

you're going right back to bed.

[takamiwife]

song quotes that remind me of you and keigo’s relationship

DISCLAIMER: i am not supporting/endorsing any artists on this list who may be problematic, nor am i trying to erase the original meaning of any songs

💌 if you’d like another one of these pls lmk!! <3 💌

—————————————

“good little girl

always picking a fight with me

you know that i’m bad, but you’re spending the night with me

what do you want from my world?

you’re a good little girl.”

- good little girl ; adventure time soundtrack

“i was all on my own

almost glad to be alone

until love came in on time, on time”

- loving is easy ; rex orange county

“spending the years together

growing older every day

(every day)

i feel at home when im around you

and i’ll gladly say again

i hope the encore lasts forever

now there’s time for us to spend”

—

“this right here still feels like the honeymoon

when you say my name,

nothings changed

i’m still a boy inside my thoughts

am i meant to understand my faults?”

- pluto projector ; rex orange county

“honey i belong with you and only you, baby

only you, my girl, only you, babe (you)

only you darling, only you babe (you)”

- dark red ; steve lacy

“oh, oh, oh, i, i was a city boy

right into danger’s where i’d

always run, a boy who had his fun

but i wouldn’t have done all the things that i have done

if i knew one day you’d come.”

- if i knew ; bruno mars

“when my time comes around

lay me gently in the cold dark earth

no grave can hold my body down

i’ll crawl home to her”

—-

“my babe would never fret none

about what my hands and my body done

if the lord don’t forgive me

i’d still have my baby and my babe would have me”

- work song ; hozier

“hey, hey, hey, lover

you don’t have to be a star

hey, hey, hey, lover

i love you just the way you are

for love is just the same

without fortune or fame

just give me true love and understanding

true love and understanding.”

- hey lover ; the daughters of eve

“my baby here on earth

showed me what my heart was worth

so, when it comes to be my turn

could you shine it down here for her

‘cause my love is mine, all mine

i love mine, mine, mine

nothing in the world belongs to me

but my love, mine, all mine

nothing in the world is mine for free

but my love, mine, all mine, all mine”

- my love mine all mine ; mitski

“all those days chasing down a daydream

all those years living in a blur

all that time, never truly seeing

things the way they were

now she's here, shining in the starlight

now she's here, suddenly I know

if she's here, it's crystal clear

i'm where I'm meant to go

and at last I see the light

and it's like the fog has lifted

and at last I see the light

and it's like the sky is new”

- i see the light ; tangled soundtrack

“and oh, we started

two hearts in one home

it's hard when we argue

we're both stubborn, I know

but oh

sweet creature, sweet creature

wherever I go, you bring me home

sweet creature, sweet creature

when I run out of road, you bring me home”

- sweet creature ; harry styles

“you’re making me crazy

really driving me mad

that’s alright with me

it’s really no fuss

as long as you’re next to me

just the two of us”

- my kind of woman ; mac demarco

“you're afraid to meet someone

'Cause you've been burned, you've been burned, you've been burned

love is good until it's gone

that's what you learned, what you've learned, what you've learned

you don't have to hide your love away and

i know that i'm gonna make mistakes, but

leaning on somebody isn't easy

i'll do what i can to make you see that

this is not a temporary love

this is not a temporary love

now your heart is in my hands, i won't give it up

this is not a temporary love”

- temporary love ; ben platt

“i will not ask you where you came from

i will not ask you, neither should you

honey just put your sweet lips on my lips

we should just kiss like real people do”

- like real people do ; hozier

“oh, won't you kiss me on the mouth and love me like a sailor?

and when you get a taste, can you tell me what's my flavor?

i don't believe in god, but i believe that you're my savior

my mom says that she's worried, but I'm covered in this favor

and when we're getting dirty, I forget all that is wrong

i sleep so I can see you 'cause I hate to wait so long”

- sailor song ; gigi perez

“she is the sweetest thing that i know

should see the way she holds me when the lights go low

shakes my soul like a pothole every time

took my heart upon a one way trip

guess she went wandering off with it

none like most women I know

this one will bring it back whole”

-

“that every night i'll kiss you, you'll say in my ear

oh we're in love, aren't we?

hands in your hair

fingers and thumbs, baby

i feel safe when you're holding me near

love the way that you conquer your fear

you know hearts don't break around here”

- hearts don’t break around here ; ed sheeran

[sagesturns]

The Cut That Always Bleeds.

Warning: None! Just Angst!

I laid in bed. It’s been weeks? Months? I don't know how long since me and Chris broke up. The world outside felt gray and heavy, just like the weight pressing on my chest. It had been weeks since Chris and I had broken up, yet the ache of his absence still lingered, a constant reminder of what I had lost.

I remember his last words, as he looked at me like I was somebody who he didn’t recognize. The same words "You don’t get me anymore,” he had said, frustration in his voice. “You’re not the same person I fell in love with.” It was a sting in my chest, like a knife being twisted which left  me bleeding and breathless. Every moment I was breathing it played in my head like a broken record I couldn’t shut off till I fell asleep. Even when I did, I was haunted by the memories of us, the dreams consuming me and leaving me to wake up with tears streaming down my face.

We had been inseparable for so long, navigating the ups and downs of our teenage years together. I still remembered how his laughter could fill a room, how his smile could brighten even the darkest days. We shared dreams, secrets, and promises that felt like they would last forever. But somewhere along the way, things changed. The love that once felt strong had become fragile, slow disappearing till it wasn’t there. 

I picked up my phone, staring at the blank screen, willing it to light up with a message from him. I knew it was foolish, but a part of me still hoped he would reach out, that he would realize how much I missed him. But each passing minute brought only silence, and my heart sank a little deeper.

Memories flooded back—our late-night talks, the way he would brush his fingers through my hair as we lay on the grass under a blanket of stars. Or remembering the pressure of his kiss on my forehead. Or when he would brush his thumb over my knuckles to comfort me when something happened. His hugs, the ones that once were always filled with warmth and love, kept me safe from all the hurt in the world. Which now left me cold and hurt even thinking about it. Those moments felt like a lifetime ago, and I couldn’t help but wonder how we had gotten here. How had we let the love that once felt so strong slip away like sand through our fingers?

The argument was loud, remembering as the tears spilled down my cheeks and I begged him to stay, to not leave, the words a constant loop in my head. “I, I need you like the air I breathe, I need you more than me, I need you more than anything. Please don’t leave me.”

Now, the silence between us was deafening. I thought about the promises we made to always fight for each other, to never let the world come between us. Yet here we were, two strangers drifting further apart, trapped in our own hurt.

 Tears spilled over as I hugged my knees to my chest. The pain felt like a living thing, gnawing at me from the inside. I could almost hear Chris’s laughter in my mind, see the way his eyes lit up when he talked about his dreams. And I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had let him down, that I had somehow failed him.

I sank down to the floor, hugging myself tightly as sobs shook my body. The hurt felt unbearable, and I didn’t know how to make it stop. I wanted to scream, to cry out into the empty void of my room, but I was too exhausted to do anything but weep.

I realized I had never felt so alone. I was left with the ghost of what we had, a love that had once felt eternal now reduced to haunting memories. At that moment, I understood that sometimes love isn’t enough to hold two people together, no matter how hard you try. With each breath, I felt the weight of my heartbreak settle deeper, and I knew I would carry this pain with me, a scar that would never fully heal. And as the darkness of night began to creep in, I realized that some cuts always bleed, leaving a mark that could never be erased.

a/n: This is my first post! I actually have no idea how Tumblr really works. Lowk not my proudest work but whatever. I hope you guys like this lil story! I love the song 'The Cut That Always Bleeds' by Conan Gray so I wanted to make a story. Anyways I tried my best!

[d3m0nicdream]

Prom Night: Colby Brock (Part 2)

**Colby Brock Prom AU Poll Winner**

Colby Brock x fem!reader - a budding story about two people believed to be unobtainable to anyone, until they set their sights on eachother.

tags: Slow-burn romance, multi-parts, POV change, kissing, drinking, partying. (smut in later parts)

If you havn't read the 1st part:

Part 1

***************************************

"Do you have date for Prom yet?" Kat asks through the screen of the facetime call. You were rummaging through all your dresses and outfits trying to pick on out for this party you guys were going to tonight.

"Ugh, don't remind me." You sigh. It was going to be really hard to find a prom date that wasn't looking to score you because of a stupid game.

"I just want to find a genuine guy. This sucks."

"Bitch, prom is next weekend. What are we going to do? This is senior prom we are talking about." Kat flails her arms before crossing them in thought.

"Why don't you just ask Sam. You literally won't stop thinking about him. Just go for it." You wiggle your brows at her as her face twists in disgust.

"Ew, I'm not asking a boy to prom. They need to ask me. Duh.... And I don't think about Sam Golbach. Gross." You laugh at her response. She was so dramatic but you wouldn't trade her for the world. She was the only one that didn't turn her back on you after the 'game' started. She never got jealous or changed her view of you in any way. She was indeed your best friend.

"What about you and Mr. Brock? You're telling me there isn't anything going on there?" You roll your eyes, trying to ignore her question.

"Bitch, you're dumb. Do you think I should just go with a little black dress moment? What do you think?" You hold it up against your body, modeling it for her.

"Oh yeah! And I have a cute little red one, we can complement each other!" You nod in agreement, happy to have a plan of what to wear, now it was a matter of being ready and looking hot. You had to make the 'game' interesting.

"Where is this party anyway. You didn't tell me anything except 'we are going to a party.' and now I'm curious." She sheepishly looks over at you.

"Well, it's sort of... at Sam and Colby's house." Your eyes go wide.

"Why wouldn't you tell me that!"

"Because I was afraid you wouldn't go." Kat was right. after what happened at school, the last thing you would have wanted was to go to Colby and Sam's house but it looks like this time, you have no choice.

"You are so lucky I love you." You laugh at Kat. It was a good thing there was going to be alcohol because you were going to need it.

*************************************************

"This is their house?" You marvel. It was huge. Where did they get the money for this?

"Oh yeah, this is your first major party. Yeah, they always host the biggest 'Before Prom Party' both this year and last year. It's always a rager." You pull your dress down a bit, suddenly very aware of how short it was. Kat grabs your arm and pulls you to the door. Unfortunately you don't go unnoticed. The minute you and Kat walk in the door, the music stops and the room goes silent before you hear somebody speak from the top of the stairs in front of you.

"Y/N is here." The audience cheers and its deafening. The music starts to play and a path opens for you towards the kitchen where there sits a familiar dark haired boy staring at you.

"Y/N has shown up to one of MY parties? This is insane." Colby giggles at your look and pours a drink, handing it to you.

"For you." Colby winks at you while holding out the red solo cup.

"Hey, what about me?" Kat spats.

"You're not the guest of honor. I see you all the time." Colby scoffs.

"I'M the one that got her to come here so I deserve some compensation." Kat stomps her foot like a child, seething at Colby's sarcasm.

"It's okay, Kat. I gotchu." Sam speaks from behind us as he makes his way into the kitchen.

"I'LL show my gratitude for the arrival of our guest thanks to you, Kat."

Thank you. At least someone appreciates me." She scowls at Colby before he laughs and passes you to leave.

"Have fun, drink up." He winks at you before walking out.

"You never told me you were sort of close with them, Kat." You kind of feel a little sad.

"I go to a lot of their parties so it's kind of inevitable to not be social with them. Plus, I'd rather talk to them than any of these knuckleheads but when it's school, we don't speak." She explains. It still would have been nice to know. Regardless, you down your drink and pour another. You came to get drunk and drunk you shall be. You and Kat are glued to each other's side until you are about four more drinks deep. The night was going exactly how you thought, every man coming up to you trying to shoot their shot. It was exhausting. This was the point when you end up losing Kat and go looking for her. The only problem is, now the drinks are starting to hit you. Your vision is blurry and foggy, everything is delayed. The music is unbearably loud and now without Kat, you were starting to panic.

You find an empty corner and stand there trying to gain your bearings but nothing was working. Your eyes scan the sea of dancing bodies for Kat but no luck.

"Hey Y/N. You okay?" Your thoughts were disrupted by Colby who you were pretty sure had just appeared out of nowhere. His hand touches your arm as if to stabilize you.

"To be honest, I'm fucked up and need to go home." You try to yell over the music but it was so loud. He looks around and nods for you to follow him. You both go up the stairs and down a busy hallway, bee-lining it to a door which Colby pulls out a key and unlocks. He leads you inside and the door shuts with him locking it again.

It was Colby's room. It reflected him almost to a tee. The dark and brooding lighting, the black bed sheets, curtains and couch. you were undeniably in his room.

"I know it's super overwhelming out there. It's more quiet in here. You can sit on the couch. Gimme a second." He rushes to the bathroom attached to the room and shuts the door. You look around the slightly spinning room. It was way more quiet here. Your headache was slowly subsiding.

Colby comes back out and he sits next to you.

"Are you okay?" He places his hand on your knee. You nod your head, not saying anything. Your eyes dart to his. they were a very pretty blue. The contrast even stronger with his dark, black hair. You take in his facial features, darting down his neck, his chest and then subconsciously his crotch. Your train of thought fumbled by his finger grabbing your chin, forcing you to look at him.

"Y/N. Are you good? You need to lay down?" Without thinking you lean forward, pressing your lips against his gently. His lips were surprisingly soft. It was probably the alcohol, you were never this forward. It takes Colby a minute to realise what's happening before he starts following along. His lips dancing with yours, lightly biting your bottom lip. You decide you weren't trying to fight it so you let his tongue slide past, exploring every part of your mouth. The heat of your body starts to rush to your head. The kiss getting heavier with every second. You eventually move into his lap, straddling his legs. Your hands find the back of his neck, pulling him into you. Your bodies are pressed close together while his hands find their place on your now uncovered ass, your dress riding up your thighs. You were about to make some very bad decisions. Or so you thought before Colby breaks the kiss.

"Hey, I think we should tone it down a bit." Colby moves your hair out of your blushing face, your feelings on top of the alcohol misting your face with a pink hue. You lean in again and start kissing him once more, you can feel his arousal under yours as you desperately try to deepen the kiss but again, he pulls away.

"Y/N, seriously. Please, we are not doing anything else. You're drunk. You need to go to sleep."

"Mmmm you're right but... I feeeeel so good nooow." You slur as he stares into your eyes. Your hands roam his chest and then his abs. You pout and he leans in placing a quick peck, taking you by surprise due to being impaired.

"I know you do but I think we should revisit this when you're sober, okay?" With his hands still on your ass, he locks his fingers while leaning forward. He stands up, picking you up in the process and walking you over to his bed. He places you down and walks over to his dresser, grabbing a shirt and tossing it your way. You barely catch it and immediately starts taking your dress off with the awkward realisation that you would need help with the zipper.

"uhm... Colby , could you.."

"Yeah, lemme just..." He delicately pulls the zipper down your back, causing chills to run down your spine.

"Thanks. Now turn back around." You mumble. You don't have to tell him twice. He patiently waits for you to finish.

Once you are covered, he lays you down and covers you with the blanket. He turns to leave but you grab him quickly.

"Colby, will you take me to Prom?" You try your best not to slur your words. You genuinely wanted him to. He chuckles at your request.

"I'll give you an answer when you wake up, okay?" You nod before finally letting go of his shirt. Within seconds, you are out cold. He turns off the lights and heads back out to the party.

******************************************

Colby's POV:

Now that she was asleep, I check the time. 3am. The music had gotten quieter and over half the amount of people were still here and leaving.

'I need to find Sam.' I start looking around the house, picking up cups and plates and throwing away trash as I find it. I head back up the stairs when I don't find him in the kitchen or living room. I hit Sam's room, knocking on the door. He was definitely in there as I heard him shuffling to answer.

"Hey, what's up." He peeks his head out, clearly very much not wearing any clothes. He was holding his door close to shut so I couldn't see past him but there was definitely someone in there with him.

"Hey, tell Kat that Y/N is asleep in my room. I'm going to be sleeping in the living room. I'll clean up a little before I sleep." Sam blushes when he figures out that I know. He nods and closes the door, returning to doing whatever they were doing.

I yawn and start walking around with a trash bag. Everyone left except Jake, Corey, Seth and Nate, them being passed out in random areas of the house. It's not long before I decide the house is clean enough and I pass out too, on the couch in the living room.

******************************************************

Hope you guys are enjoying the series so far. Thanks for all the love

[privatehousesanatomy]

hi this is a very controversial topic in the house md fandom i feel like and i'm going to speak on it. feel free to agree or disagree in the comments and reblogs, but truthfully i don't think anything you can say can or will change my view point.

that being said - house was never the "bad guy". is he a great guy? absolutely not. he's deeply flawed and i can understand why a lot of people hate him. it's hard to like somebody when all you're seeing is what's on the surface. he's cold, abrasive, mean, and an entire list of other words i could use to describe house but that's not the point of this post.

i can guarantee that there is not a single person on this planet that could go through even a quarter of the shit that house has gone through and still say that they're not miserable. you cannot expect someone to go through hell and not come out of it a changed person, and you cannot get upset with a person who's gone through hell and is bitter because of it.

let's start with his childhood. it's always been kinda up in the air just how abusive house's father was - the only real instances we were ever given detailing the abuse was ice baths, being made to sleep in the yard, and being given the silent treatment, which are all absolutely horrible things to do to child, however his childhood wasn't something that was ever touched on a whole lot. house even admits that there were good times, and a lot of people overlook that fact. a lot of y'all aren't willing to accept that people can have good memories of their abusers - that's how they become abusers in the first place. especially in terms of abusive relationships - there had to be good memories before the bad ones could be made. we don't know how john house was in terms of how he spoke about his son to other people. he could have described his son as his pride and joy to the general public but behind closed doors shamed house for not being more like him. having a tainted relationship with a parental figure is damaging and it's really no wonder why house grew up with such a skewed perspective on the concept of unconditional love.

chronic pain is a whole other issue. he was forced into a medical procedure against his will and regardless of whether or not it saved his life, it was still a direct violation of his bodily autonomy and to make it worse, the person that did it to him ending up abandoning him when he became too much of a burden. chronic pain is already hard enough to deal with. i deal with it myself and i completely understand why house gets the way he gets when he's in pain. to the rest of the world, they watch him function and think that the pain can't be that bad, and it's the same shit i experience in my own daily life. the pain is incredibly overstimulating at times and despite how good we might be at pretending that it's not, we're suffering inside.

another thing that doesn't help is how many people remind house on a daily basis how horrible he is and how they're worse off for knowing him. do you honestly expect him to start acting like everything is all sunshine and rainbows when people are practically telling him he's better off dead? that the world would be a better place if he wasn't in it? he is the way he is because everything in his life has proven to him that for some god forsaken reason, the universe is working against him and the only way for it to not hurt him is for him to become an isolated, antisocial individual. can't get hurt if you don't let anyone in, right?

while i'm here, i'm also going to touch on instances in the show that he gets blamed for. amber's death and chase getting stabbed were not his fault. everyone wants to sit here and blame him but there's no blame to put on him. with amber, he specifically called looking for wilson. he told amber to find wilson and send him. amber came anyway. it wasn't her fault either. it was no one's fault but the guy that drove into the bus. house risked his life to try and save amber's, and yeah she died but it wasn't his fault.

and with chase getting stabbed, that wasn't house's fault either. house might have taken the blame for it because if the blame has to be pinned on someone, might as well be him, right? but you can't blame him for either situation.

idk maybe im yapping too much and maybe none of this makes sense but it makes sense to me