#i just wanted it to be over and i wanted israelis to leave and never come back

[jewishvitya]

A pro-Palestine Jew on tiktok asked those of us who were raised pro-Israel, what got us to change our minds on Palestine. I made a video to answer (with my voice, not my face), and a few people watched it and found some value in it. I'm putting this here too. I communicate through text better than voice.

So I feel repetitive for saying this at this point, but I grew up in the West Bank settlements. I wrote this post to give an example of the extent to which Palestinians are dehumanized there.

Where I live now, I meet Palestinians in day to day life. Israeli Arab citizens living their lives. In the West Bank, it was nothing like that. Over there, I only saw them through the electric fence, and the hostility between us and Palestinians was tangible.

When you're a child being brought into the situation, you don't experience the context, you don't experience the history, you don't know why they're hostile to you. You just feel "these people hate me, they don't want me to exist." And that bubble was my reality. So when I was taught in school that everything we did was in self defense, that our military is special and uniquely ethical because it's the only defensive military in the world - that made sense to me. It slotted neatly into the reality I knew.

One of the first things to burst the bubble for me was when I spoke to an old Israeli man and he was talking about his trauma from battle. I don't remember what he said, but it hit me wrong. It conflicted with the history as I understood it. So I was a bit desperate to make it make sense again, and I said, "But everything we did was in self defense, right?"

He kinda looked at me, couldn't understand at all why I was upset, and he went, "We destroyed whole villages. Of course we did. It was war, that's what you do."

And that casual "of course" stuck with me. I had to look into it more.

I couldn't look at more accurate history, and not at accounts by Palestinians, I was too primed against these sources to trust them. The community I grew up in had an anti-intellectual element to it where scholars weren't trusted about things like this.

So what really solidified this for me, was seeing Palestinian culture.

Because part of the story that Israel tells us to justify everything, is that Palestinians are not a distinct group of people, they're just Arabs. They belong to the nations around us. They insist on being here because they want to deny us a homeland. The Palestinian identity exists to hurt us. This, because the idea of displacing them and taking over their lands doesn't sound like stealing, if this was never theirs and they're only pretending because they want to deprive us.

But then foods, dances, clothing, embroidery, the Palestinian dialect. These things are history. They don't pop into existence just because you hate Jews and they're trying to move here. How gorgeous is the Palestinian thobe? How stunning is tatreez in general? And when I saw specific patterns belonging to different regions of Palestine?

All of these painted for me a rich shared life of a group of people, and countered the narrative that the Palestininian identity was fabricated to hurt us. It taught me that, whatever we call them, whatever they call themselves, they have a history in this land, they have a right to it, they have a connection to it that we can't override with our own.

I started having conversations with leftist friends. Confronting the fact that the borders of the occupied territories are arbitrary and every Israeli city was taken from them. In one of those conversations, I was encouraged to rethink how I imagine peace.

This also goes back to schooling. Because they drilled into us, we're the ones who want peace, they're the ones who keep fighting, they're just so dedicated to death and killing and they won't leave us alone.

In high school, we had a stadium event with a speaker who was telling us about a person who defected from Hamas, converted to Christianity and became a Shin Bet agent. Pretty sure you can read this in the book "Son of Hamas." A lot of my friends read the book, I didn't read it, I only know what I was told in that lecture. I guess they couldn't risk us missing out on the indoctrination if we chose not to read it.

One of the things they told us was how he thought, we've been fighting with them for so long, Israelis must have a culture around the glorification of violence. And he looked for that in music. He looked for songs about war. And for a while he just couldn't find any, but when he did, he translated it more fully, and he found out the song was about an end to wars. And this, according to the story as I was told it, was one of the things that convinced him. If you know know the current trending Israeli "war anthem," you know this flimsy reasoning doesn't work.

Back then, my friend encouraged me to think more critically about how we as Israelis envision peace, as the absence of resistance. And how self-centered it is. They can be suffering under our occupation, but as long as it doesn't reach us, that's called peace. So of course we want it and they don't.

Unless we're willing to work to change the situation entirely, our calls for peace are just "please stop fighting back against the harm we cause you."

In this video, Shlomo Yitzchak shares how he changed his mind. His story is much more interesting than mine, and he's much more eloquent telling it. He mentions how he was taught to fear Palestinians. An automatic thought, "If I go with you, you'll kill me." I was taught this too. I was taught that, if I'm in a taxi, I should be looking at the driver's name. And if that name is Arab, I should watch the road and the route he's taking, to be prepared in case he wants to take me somewhere to kill me. Just a random person trying to work. For years it stayed a habit, I'd automatically look at the driver's name. Even after knowing that I want to align myself with liberation, justice, and equality. It was a process of unlearning.

On October, not long after the current escalation of violence, I had to take a taxi again. A Jewish driver stopped and told me he'll take me, "so an Arab doesn't get you." Israeli Jews are so comfortable saying things like this to each other. My neighbors discussed a Palestinian employee, with one saying "We should tell him not to come anymore, that we want to hire a Jew." The second answered, "No, he'll say it's discrimination," like it would be so ridiculous of him. And the first just shrugged, "So we don't have to tell him why." They didn't go through with it, but they were so casual about this conversation.

In the Torah, we're told to treat those who are foreign to us well, because we know what it's like to be the foreigner. Fighting back against oppression is the natural human thing to do. We know it because we lived it. And as soon as I looked at things from this angle, it wasn't really a choice of what to support.

[girlfictions]

something i’ve been thinking about lately is like. growing up muslim right after 9/11 is something i’d never really reflected on much because it was all i’d ever known — at 5, my friend’s mum didn’t let her invite me to her birthday party because i was the only brown girl in our class, at 12, my classmates would joke about my family being part of isis, at 16, my dad was interrogated by american airport security for hours — and it always stung and it always hurt but it was just the way things were because the western world hated muslims. but i don’t think i’ve ever fully comprehended the extent to which we were hated until now.

palestine is being turned into a mass graveyard. every single day there are new photos of the atrocities being carried out against them and videos of them pleading for help and still those who can actually intervene turn a blind eye. israel is claiming to only be targeting hamas “terrorists” while bombing a refugee camp. israeli police raided and assaulted a non-zionist jewish neighbourhood. israeli soldiers are posting tiktoks of them torturing captured palestinians. this is not a complicated issue and it never has been. ethnic cleansing is being committed right in front of us. and yet the western world leaders refuse to call for a ceasefire.

and while zionist organisations accuse pro-palestine demonstrations of anti-semitism, while zionist celebrities insist that they’re afraid to leave their mansions in los angeles, a six year old muslim boy was stabbed to death and his mother wounded in the same attack in chicago. a muslim doctor was murdered while sitting outside her apartment complex in texas. hundreds of peaceful protesters have been arrested (many of whom have been jewish). despite what zionists want you to believe, this is not a jewish/muslim conflict. i have so much love and gratitude to my brave jewish brothers and sisters all over the world who are condemning israel for their actions.

ultimately, israel have been granted impunity by the west. they have slaughtered thousands upon thousands of innocent palestinians. they have bombed hospitals and schools indiscriminately. they have used white phosphorus, violating the geneva convention. they have completely eradicated nearly 900 bloodlines. how many more need to be wiped out? how many more children need to be buried underneath the rubble? how many more doctors need to be confronted with the bodies of their own family members? how many more journalists need to detail the horrific acts of violence they are witnessing? what more can be done to the palestinian people that has not been done already?

i truly believe that palestine will be free one day. i believe the palestinian people will receive the justice they finally deserve. but what breaks my heart is how much they have suffered and will continue to suffer before they are deemed worthy of help. and it would be to all of our detriment if we ignored how much of a factor palestine being a predominantly muslim state has played into the way the world has reacted to their genocide.

[ahmedsal-1qa]

⛔ please help my family don't skip 🛑

Hello, My name is Ahmad Mohammed Hassan Salah, a 33-year-old man from Gaza, Palestine. Under the sky of Gaza, amidst the war and shelling, begins my story. I lived my life in the northern part of Gaza with my wife and three children, dreaming of a secure future for my small family. Nada, my seven-year-old eldest daughter, loves to draw, though her colors have disappeared amid the rubble 🎨💔. Mohamed, my five-year-old son, still dreams of playing in a garden untouched by bombs 🛝💔. As for Huda, my two-year-old, she has started uttering her first words amid the sounds of explosions 🍼💔.

The tragedy began one night of the war when I was forced to leave my home under continuous bombardment 💣😔. I carried my children and my anxious wife, running through the debris and darkness in search of a safe haven 🌪️. Our journey was fraught with dangers, as we left everything behind: our home, memories, and even our money and food 🏚️💔. After a long journey, we found ourselves in southern Gaza, where we set up a small tent as a temporary refuge ⛺😞.

The tent, small as it was, became our new world. Without mattresses to shield us from the cold nights or blankets to protect us from the rain 🌧️❄️, life was harsh. The children slept on the ground, and I struggled to provide any food to feed my family 🍞💔. But the war showed us no mercy. After only three months, we were forced to move once again, this time to central Gaza. The Israeli army described it as a "safe zone," but the shelling followed us like an unrelenting shadow 💔💣.

More than a year has passed, and my family and I continue to live under bombardment and destruction 🌋💔. Each day brings with it a new story of suffering. Food is scarce 🍽️, water is contaminated 🚱, and fear never leaves my children's hearts 😔💔. Nada has started asking, "When will this war end?" 😢. Mohamed tries to comfort his mother, who weeps in silence 😭💔. As for Huda, she knows no world other than one filled with terrifying sounds 🥺.

I also suffer from a chronic illness, and I have a medical report confirming my condition 🏥💔. However, the pain of my illness is less than the anguish I see in my children's eyes 💔😔. I try to be strong, but I sometimes break down when I cannot provide food for them 🥺. My wife stands by me, trying to bring hope, but even hope has become a rare commodity 💔.

Amidst the devastation, I want to send a message to the world: "We are human. Our children deserve a better life. We just want safety. All I want is to sleep one night without fearing that my children will wake up to the sound of explosions." 🙏💔

Due to this ongoing suffering, I appeal to the world through Tumblr to raise donations for my family and for other families experiencing similar circumstances 🌍💔. If you are able to provide any assistance, no matter how small, it would mean so much to us 🙏🫂. You can help by donating food, clothing, or even essential medications that we desperately need 💊🛒. I kindly ask you to share our story on Tumblr, because spreading it may reach kind hearts all over the world—hearts that can offer help and save the lives of my children and the children of Gaza from this hell ❤️🕊️.

My story is not just an individual one; it represents thousands of families in Gaza living in conditions that are unimaginable 💔. The question remains: How long will this suffering continue? And will the day come when Nada can draw a sun without it being covered by the smoke of war? 🌞✏️💔

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #280 )✅️

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters

[zvaigzdelasas]

Do you have an analysis on Sinwar being the new politburo chief? Very unexpected choice.

Have a couple thoughts:

Dissolving more of the barrier between Hamas as a political organization & as an insurgent organization

Spitting in Israel's face who was hoping that a decapitation strike would leave hamas with a leader lacking broader political legitimacy in the organization or create divisions/deepen divisions between civilian governance & militant organization

Lessens the leverage Qatar has over Hamas as they were providing Haniyeh with refuge

Since Sinwar is (presumably) in Gaza, his presence will likely be used to justify decreasingly discriminate attacks even moreso than it was before

Likely much more uncompromising (not to imply Haniyeh was) in negotiations

Israel and the US will have to directly negotiate with someone they despise

Dropsite News describes sinwar as such:

Despite the sinister portrayals, Sinwar’s writings and media interviews indicate he is a complex thinker with clearly defined political objectives who believes in armed struggle as a means to an end. He gives the impression of a well-educated political militant, not a cult leader on a mass suicide crusade. “It's not this black image of Sinwar as a man with two horns living in the tunnels,” said Hamad, the Hamas official who worked directly with Sinwar for three years. “But in the time of war, he's very strong. This man is very strong. If he wants to fight, he fights seriously.”

In 1988, just months after Hamas was founded, Sinwar was arrested by Israeli forces and sentenced to four life sentences on charges he had personally murdered alleged Palestinian collaborators. During his 22 years in an Israeli prison, he became fluent in Hebrew and studied the history of the Israeli state, its political culture, and its intelligence and military apparatus. He translated by hand the memoirs of several former heads of the Israeli intelligence agency Shin Bet. “When I entered [prison], it was 1988, the Cold War was still going on. And here [in Palestine], the Intifada. To spread the latest news, we printed fliers. I came out, and I found the internet,” Sinwar told an Italian journalist in 2018. “But to be honest, I never came out—I have only changed prisons. And despite it all, the old one was much better than this one. I had water, electricity. I had so many books. Gaza is much tougher.”[...]

Sinwar, unlike leaders of Al Qaeda or ISIS, has regularly invoked international law and UN resolutions, exhibiting a nuanced understanding of the history of negotiations with Israel mediated by the U.S. and other nations. “Let's be clear: having an armed resistance is our right, under international law. But we don't only have rockets. We have been using a variety of means of resistance,” he said in the 2018 interview. “We make the headlines only with blood. And not only here. No blood, no news. But the problem is not our resistance, it is their occupation. With no occupation, we wouldn't have rockets. We wouldn't have stones, Molotov cocktails, nothing. We would all have a normal life."

Throughout 2018 and 2019, Sinwar endorsed the large-scale nonviolent protests along the walls and fences of Gaza known as the Great March of Return. “We believe that if we have a way to potentially resolve the conflict without destruction, we’re O.K. with that,” Sinwar said at a rare news conference in 2018. “We would prefer to earn our rights by soft and peaceful means. But we understand that if we are not given those rights, we are entitled to earn them by resistance.”[...]

After the end of Israel’s 11-day bombing campaign against Gaza, Sinwar spoke to VICE News and sought to frame the Palestinian struggle in a U.S. context, using recent cases of lethal police violence against African Americans. “The same type of racism that killed George Floyd is being used by [Israel] against the Palestinians in Jerusalem, the Sheikh Jarrah neighborhood, and in the West Bank. And by the burning of our children. And against the Gaza Strip through siege, murder, and starvation.”

And additionally (echoing the words of Hagari)

Support among Palestinians for Hamas and its Gaza leader Yahya Sinwar, according to the recent poll, “remains very high” and has increased during the past three months. At the same time, while two-thirds of Palestinians polled in the occupied territories believe that Hamas will “win the war,” only 48 percent of those in Gaza agreed.

Hamas has insisted the war cannot destroy its movement and will remain part of the tapestry of Palestinian factions governing its besieged and occupied territories. “What matters is that you finally realize that Hamas is here. That it exists. That there is no future without Hamas, there is no possible deal whatsoever, because we are part and parcel of this society, even if we lose the next elections,” Sinwar warned in 2018. “But we are a piece of Palestine. More than that, we are a piece of the history of the entire Arab world, which includes Islamists as well as seculars, nationalists, leftists.”

Daniel Hagari has also echoed this last bit [TimesOfIsrael is Israeli Private Media]

“Hamas is an idea, Hamas is a party. It’s rooted in the hearts of the people — anyone who thinks we can eliminate Hamas is wrong,” he continued.

Rumors are that Netanyahu is trying to figure out necromancy in order to bring Haniyeh back

Also check out this interview conducted by Vice

[northern-passage]

Reblogging something about celebrating terrorist groups murdering and kidnapping people.....I just hope that anyone who enjoys seeing such things will *never* have the experience of having their loved ones disappear one morning.

I hope they never have to see the faces of theirs relatives, friends, classmates, colleagues and neighbors on palestinian tv being beaten and dragged to gaza by terrorist.

Could you imagine seeing your friend who was missing the whole day on palestinian tiktok being kidnapped while people are happy about it? While entire streets are closed inside their homes because armed terrorist raid your city? Breaking into homes to kidnap people?

No matter what side theyre on i hope no one ever has to experience that kind of horror.

the Palestinian people have had to watch their children and brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers be murdered violently in the streets of Gaza for decades because of the violent occupation of Palestine.

you get to call the colonizers "relatives, friends, classmates, colleagues and neighbors" but the Palestinian people are only ever "terrorists." when the Israeli police drag Palestinians out of mosques and kill them in streets-- more than 200 Palestinians have been killed this year alone, plus the 161 that have already been killed in retaliation-- are you going to call them terrorists, too? as Israel continues their retaliation and kills 30 Palestinians for every single Israeli soldier, is it "terrorism" or will you find a way to justify it, then? will you care about the "relatives, friends, classmates, colleagues and neighbors" then?

"No matter what side theyre on i hope no one ever has to experience that kind of horror." again, Palestinians have been living this for decades. and what we're witnessing now is the inevitable response to those decades of oppression & occupation.

as for your "friends, classmates, colleagues and neighbors" -- they are living on occupied land. land that was taken by force through ethnic cleansing. they can leave at any time-- most of them have already, fleeing back to their home countries with their dual citizenships, or theyre safely sitting in hotels waiting for it to be over. they are settlers. they are part of the settler colony that is actively oppressing, dispossessing, and murdering Palestinians. and to be clear, that post you're talking about is not "celebrating civilian deaths," you are just purposefully misrepresenting it here to further dehumanize Palestinians and depict them as "terrorists." of course i do not want civilians to die. no one wants that. i feel for the Israeli people, the children & the ones who cannot leave. but at least they are allowed to be people, they are allowed to be friends, classmates, colleagues, neighbors. Palestinians have never been granted that, and you are proving it here in my inbox.

these "terrorists" you decry are oppressed people taking up arms-- scavenged from the weapons Israeli soldiers and police have been using against them for years-- to decolonize and take back their home. decolonization is a violent process. we absolutely cannot tolerate a double standard. there is no "both sides."

Myth: Israel is defending itself | Decolonize Palestine

Myth: Israel is not an Apartheid state | Decolonize Palestine

Myth: Israel has always sought peace | Decolonize Palestine

Myth: The Palestinian Authority subsidizes "terrorism" (pay to slay) | Decolonize Palestine

Myth: Israel (or any other state) has a right to exist | Decolonize Palestine

all of my support to the Palestinian resistance, from the river to the sea Palestine will be free.

[jewishbarbies]

after leaving the pro Palestine movement around May, I’ve been left feeling quite stumped and gaslit by fellow liberals and leftists about Palestine, israel, Hamas, Palestinians, and Jewish people. I can’t even wish luck or have well wishes towards Israelis and the Israeli hostages and wish for them not to be raped and tortured without a leftist with a watermelon in their username coming to harass me about shit. I know that the majority is not always right, and that in this case, the majority of leftists are very much wrong about Israel and Jews, but it’s still so shocking that I didn’t see it beforehand (I’m not Jewish myself).

I remember being happy that that Noa girl was found alive and relatively physically okay (she was released on my mother’s birthday, that’s what I remember) and I had to delete my post because I was literally brigaded by s*yr*q followers accusing me of supporting alleged genocide by wishing her well… what?

The same thing happened when I expressed sadness over that French Jewish girl who was like 12 or something and she was raped because she was Jewish by boys her age. Literal antisemitic based rape from children to a child. And people started calling me a genocide supporter and started saying shit like “what about the Palestinians who get raped”. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

Like what happened to wanting peace? I thought we wanted Israelis and the Jewish diaspora safe and healthy, Gazans safe and healthy, Hamas gone, and Netanyahu gone too. I thought we were simply advocating for Palestinians in Gaza to be given equal opportunity and rights as well as Israelis, not for Israelis DEATHS???

sorry it took me a hot minute to get to this, but I appreciate this perspective and I think it’s really important voices like these are heard, for both sides.

a lot of people with good intentions got duped into believing horrible things when I’d say the majority of us all want the same things. safety and peace for everyone involved, equal rights, a two state solution, etc. we get drowned out by the extremes that just wanna fight, but we’re here and there’s more of us than we think. we can and HAVE to work together or there will never be peace.

[evilwickedme]

I keep seeing news that Israel has rejected a ceasefire deal from Hamas and/or that Hamas has rejected a ceasefire deal from Israel, and I'm having a very hard time keeping up with what's true, what terms have been rejected by who, and how ceasefire negotiations have been going in general. Do you have any information you could share or sources you could direct me to that would give this kind of news in an unbiased way? I think that saying that either side rejected a deal without explaining what parts of the terms were not agreed with is dishonest and I hate that I keep seeing it.

Thanks and I hope you're well and safe.

I'm not going to source this with anything specific cause my job is in the news so I'm just doing this off the cuff while literally on the bus there lmao

Both sides are in fact constantly rejecting ceasefire deals, for their own reasons. Some scattered thoughts from the last several months of coverage

One of the biggest points is ending the war. Hamas keeps going back and forth on this but is mostly insisting that even for the first, humanitarian stage of the hostage/ceasefire deal Israel must agree to take out all of its troops and essentially leave Hamas to remain the ruling party in the Gaza strip

This is essentially the only hard no on Israel's side. Netanyahu especially refuses to end the war without a military victory that essentially is impossible to get without entering Rafah (and in my opinion is currently impossible to achieve at all). There is a willingness to pause the war in exchange for the hostages up to a certain degree, but there simply isn't a chance that Israel is going to give up on defeating the remaining Hamas military divisions in Rafah and hopefully killing Sinwar

A lot of the problem is that Hamas will present a deal that Israel finds unacceptable, Israel will take time to deliberate, come up with a middle ground, and then Hamas will actually make a worse offer in return. A lot of things that Israel is currently putting on the table were things Hamas originally requested and was willing to be on those terms, but now they want things that are even further from Israel's interests.

For example, at first Hamas was asking for women and children to be allowed to go back to northern Gaza. Now they are asking for the entire civilian population to return to northern Gaza... And for Israel to not even check that no Hamas agents are going back up north, where there are still many rocket launchers that were never found. Personally I would like that not to happen, as I would like rockets to not be launched at me. Maybe that's a lot to ask, idk

Another example is the fact that at first Hamas asked for a certain number of terrorists to be freed, but that about a third of them (iirc) would be picked by Hamas, with no veto power given to Israel. The offer currently on the table gives Israel no veto power at all, and unlike the deal from November where Israel only freed terrorists who failed to kill anyone, this time Israel will be required to pretty much exclusively free murderers.

The truth is Hamas has very little interest in a hostage deal. They don't want the terrorists in Israeli prisons as much as we want the hostages that are, according to current intelligence, being used as human shields, many of them surrounding Sinwar at all times. The first hostage deal led to humanitarian aid being brought into Gaza, which due to Israeli negligence has been taken over by Hamas; aid is being increased (although not enough) with no "return on investment" so to speak for Israel.

(sidenote: yes, there is not enough aid entering Gaza. Also, a lot of the aid is being taken by Hamas officials, with the remains being sold at outrageous prices to the refugees. Shit is bad from all directions here)

Meanwhile, the IDF has essentially pulled all its soldiers out of Gaza. There are currently only two military divisions in Gaza iirc, and they're mostly just staying there with not much happening. The current attack on Rafah is "small scale", and comes as a direct result of rockets being shot at south Israel on Sunday, resulting in several people being grievously injured. Overall, not much military action is happening, meaning that, for example, agreeing to cease military activities in Gaza is relatively unimportant to Hamas rn (emphasis on to Hamas).

And another truth is netanyahu ALSO doesn't want a ceasefire. The moment this war ends the public will demand an election (hell, a THIRD of the public is demanding an election NOW, before the end of the war), and he has lost many of his more casual voters. He will be forced out of the government either by his party or by the voters, and netanyahu wants power over all else, fuck the hostages.

He doesn't WANT to answer for his actions in front of his citizens. It's no coincidence that he is willing to be interviewed by the foreign press but no Israeli papers or channels; it's no coincidence that he refuses to allow the Israeli negotiators to come up creative solutions, instead giving them extreme restrictions. And his absolute refusal to even acknowledging the possible existence of a future Palestinian state is going to fuck Israel over in unimaginable ways

In short, fuck Hamas, fuck Netanyahu and the current extreme right wing government, #bringthemhome #freegazafromhamas and #ceasefirenow

As usual, I recommend a mix of Haaretz, the NYT, and the wall street journal as my favorite although never unbiased journalism on i/p. It is so important that we all understand that nobody is unbiased about any political issue, including me, and especially not about Israel and Palestine. It is an extremely charged subject that is best parsed out by reading from a variety of sources, and always noting that if something is only quoted or referenced by sources from one "side", it's frankly probably not true.

I hope for the best, and may this nightmare end as soon as possible

[jewish-vents]

Apologizing in advance because this might get you in hot water or start discourse because the person I'm venting about is a person who got insanely popular for (((you know. reasons.))) but I can't keep it to myself I am so tired. I am so fucking tired. I'm so tired of half the jumblr blogs I follow bending over backwards to defend this one lebanese blogger who calls all the Jews she doesn't like "fascists", uses "zionist" as a slur despite this not being a gentile's word to throw around for derogatory purposes, defending every vile thing that comes out of her mouth about Jews because she's young so apparently it's ok to be antisemitic if you're not old or something. Many of these same people would say Jews or Israelis have no right to feel radicalized or even angry by the thorough, disgusting demonization we keep facing on the internet, and if we dare say so much as "the Ottoman empire/Islamic expansion of the 7th century is a form of colonialism too" then these jumblr blogs immediately label us evil Islamophobes or whatever. I've just turned 16 years old and my family is all Iraqi. Soon enough people will be publicly calling for my rape and murder because I'll be in the IDF. People who have never, EVER had that same energy towards Russian Soldiers (and if you don't care about Ukraine, Imagine I refer exclusively to Russian air force members who specifically bombed refugee camps and hospitals in Syria, where, surprise surprise, thousands of the victims were also Palestinians). Oh but none of you have the energy to call them names because they're not Jews, and Russia is big and scary to you so you'll never speak up against it!

People want me dead if I say anything about hypocrisy or how tired I am of being treated like this is Germany in early 1939 every time someone finds out I'm a Jew online. People will call me a white colonizer Karen. Interesting. Do you call other Iraqi people white, or just the ones who descended from the Jews who had to leave to stay alive? And what the fuck did I colonize exactly? I'm so fucking sorry that my grandparents and their parents were kicked out of the only country they knew and no other country in the WORLD would accept them except Israel because they were brown Jews. I know a lot of people would prefer if my grandparents - who were little kids at the time - were killed, so there'd be a few less (((colonizers))) in Israel. People always talk about "well I still have my grandparents' deed to this house someplace Israel took from me therefore it should be mine" and everyone just agrees. Well where's your advocacy for MY rights to reclaim my property in Basra and Baghdad? Where's your advocacy for other Jews who barely escaped with their lives as their property was stolen? Oh that one doesn't matter, right? because those (((evil))) Jews got what was coming to them, right?

But go on. I'm SO glad you're all defending another run of the mill antisemite who minimizes Jewish experience and Jewish pain, whose religion did literally just as much damage to our people as christianity did, colonized just as much land and killed just as many natives as christianity did, and destroyed our holy sites just as much as the Romans did. People like her are allowed to be as vile as they want to Jews and the most baffling part is that OTHER JEWS will trip over themselves running to defend her because "oh she's literally just a little baby!" (even though she's an adult woman) and if actual underaged kids like me complain that we've been getting harassed and threatened with rape by adults because of our ethnicity, to those jumblr bloggers who I assumed would be on my side, it might be a little bit sad, yeah, but it's not nearly as tragic as someone being slightly mean to a lebanese person whose religion is actually demographically significant in the world. because, you know. Jews, Jewish lives, Jewish existence and Jewish safety mean fuck all to both most Christians AND most Muslims. All that most of them want to do is convert us, kill us, or do both. People can go ahead and clutch their pearls about me saying that as much as they want, all of it is still true. These are BOTH messianic religions concerned with spreading by any means and converting as many people as possible, and I'm tired of this website acting as if christianity is somehow horrible beyond any hope of changing while islam is good and pure and never harmed anyone or whatever. No. BOTH of them did irreparable damage to every minority group they came into contact with.

All the while ignoring every other ethnic cleansing and genocide perpetrated anywhere in the world, right now in 2025, because those ones are perpetrated by Christians, Muslims, and the "good" and "benevolent" Communists in China. All those MILLIONS of people dead? don't mean shit. Because they're not as sexy as saying "look! Jews bad!" and patting yourself on the back for being a *good* Jew who agrees with an adult lebanese woman about how all Jewish kids who are angry at being treated like garbage for their ethnicity are fascists, while she, an actual antisemite, keeps getting patted on the back for "working against biases she held her entire life". Newsflash assholes, me, my friends, and kids like us have been working just as hard to unlearn our own biases, too, and we are still literal kids! Kids whose entire families grew up traumatized from the horrid way they were treated BEFORE they even came to Israel, just because they were Jewish, just because they weren't good enough, just because "well you're a sneaky Jew so you must be hiding something, right?" But even Jews on tumblr don't give us the same grace. I wonder why that is. Maybe the horseshoe is just a circle at this point. I don't know.

.

[ancestralsurvival]

I saw an Instagram comment that I can’t get out of my mind.

The commenter identified themselves as an Israeli Jew and said they had never experienced antisemitism before Oct. 7 and felt so sorry for Jews in the diaspora who face the threat of antisemitism every day.

And I just …

Never?

Never experienced “little” antisemitism like being told you’ll burn in hell because you haven’t taken Jesus Christ as your personal savior?

Never experienced “harmless” antisemitism like being the subject of Rapture fascination or “envy” over your “unique relationship to God the Father”?

Never experienced “that was weird” antisemitism like going to a fabric store in Brooklyn, New York, and telling the fabric cutter how much fabric you want but when the fabric cutter lines up the machine to cut what you’d asked for from the bolt of fabric, another fabric cutter looks over his shoulder and says to the first fabric cutter, “You cut like a Jew. Give her a little extra,” only for the first fabric cutter to, indeed, give you a little extra that you didn’t want, you’d asked for what you wanted, and you’re too taken aback to say anything so you just pay for your fabric and leave in a daze and you never, ever used that fabric even though you were so excited when you first chose it, so pretty, not pretty anymore, fabric you still have and every time you look at the fabric you feel like shit and you’re also paralyzed all over again and the thought of donating the fabric or using it in a project both seem somehow wrong?

No?

Never?

(In case you’re curious — yes, Ashkenazi privilege and please don’t judge me for what I can’t control. I didn’t ask for the need to wonder if my Polish-looking face is the result of brave and beautiful intermarriage/conversion or nightmarish sexual violence.)

Anyway, I keep thinking about that Instagram comment and the big and small aspects of antisemitism experienced by diaspora Jews, even the minor interactions I’ve mentioned here, and how I’d normalized that as “something that happens to Jews” and … it doesn’t have to.

It doesn’t have to.

[shipping-isnt-morality]

I don’t feel like I have anything to say to Zionists anymore except “this is what it sounds like to defend genocide.”

I just - can you hear yourself? I know many of you have studied fascism and the rise of genocidal attitudes. Do you think you’re immune? Do you think being Jewish, or educated, or the descendant of genocide survivors makes you immune? You know better.

My god, if the 20th century can teach us one thing, let it be that humans are great at justifying genocide to themselves and each other when motivated to. No education can inoculate against it. Every excuse had been used before. Every feeling of righteous justification for slaughter has already been invoked.

It is undeniable that there are tens of thousands of dead. So many thousands upon tens upon hundreds of thousands of children dead maimed orphaned traumatized by bombs that Israel dropped, shells that Israel fired, targets chosen by software Israel made.

This is undeniable; I can see it with my own eyes. You can say, this is the reality of war, and I will say: this is the reality of your choices. How Israel wages “war” is a choice. How they go about statecraft is a choice. We cannot and should never accept their justifications that some action of the enemy necessitated this response; they still chose the response.

There was a euphemism in some death camps in Poland: “dirty work”. It was often literally true - there’s horrific stories about the smell and texture of industrial amounts of human ash - but also figuratively; the work of mass executions is more often seen as a necessary evil for the accomplishment of a greater good. It’s rarely celebrated or acknowledged openly for what it is at the time. All of this is very normal in genocide.

I look at my timeline in the past months, at the choices Israel has made for its “greater good”, I have listened to the justifications. What I see is Israelis making the same old tired weak excuses for their own dirty work.

And all I have to say anymore is: this is what it sounds like when you defend genocide. You have not invented a new thought in all of it. “They’re not a real group, they’re monsters, we don’t want to kill them but we have to, we just want them to leave before they kill us all and they’ll try to exterminate us the second we stop killing them” - save it.

Do some fucking reading on other genocides - the Armenian one is particularly relevant - and read arguments from genocide deniers and you will quickly see it is all the same shit. Check out Facebook posts from Myanmar during the genocide and it’s basically indistinguishable from tweets from Zionists today. It’s the same shit, over and over and over again.

Literally billions of people with eyes can see what Israel is doing and call it what it is, because it’s been done before, and all the defensive answers and excuses have been done before too.

This is what it looks like when people defend genocide. Always just like this.

[xclowniex]

from a realistic point of view, i dont see how zionism doesnt lead to non-jewish palestinian death or at least repression. if you have a state which has it enshrined in its founding documentation that it is For "Jewish People" (israel has been carefree about fucking over people they dont consider to be Jewish in the right way). two state solution doesnt even solve it since the assumption is just to have another israel and shove all the people they dont think count as jews over to palestinian state and pretend like they didnt just make an ethnostate

The reason you do not see how it doesn't lead to palestinian death is because on a fundamental level, you do not understand zionism from a jewish perspective.

Jews can and have, taken DNA tests and proved that we are descdant from cannanites who lived in Southern Levant. There is history too proving our orign from the region. A lot of jews were forced out due to various empires wanting to kill us, however some jews remained in the region.

Zionism is simply about self determination for jews as one of the indigenous peoples to the region. It does not inherently imply that palestinians are not indigenous as you can very much have two indigenous groups in a region, eg Moriori and Maori for example, both are indigenous to land which is part of New Zealand, but are two different groups.

I'm not going to say that no zionist ever wants harm to palestinians as there are, however the majority of zionists want a two state solution or a land for all solution (which is different to a one state solution of israel or palestine).

Indigenous groups do deserve self determination. This applies to all indigenous groups world wide. One indigenous group gaining self determination does not inherently harm another group of people, indigenous or not.

Ideologies can be implemented badly and not mean that the inherent concept is bad. For example, communism. No country has ever sucessfully implemented communism as they never leave the transition phase without something going wrong. Saying that zionism always hurts palestinians is like saying that communism is inherently genocidal because of China and Russia.

There are plenty of zionist solutions which does not harm palestinians which are deemed as ideal solutions by zionists, such as versions of a two state solution and land for all solutions.

Israel is also not an ethnostate. The percentage of israeli jews is almost equal to those who are New Zealand European in NZ, yet no one calls NZ an ethnostate. There are plenty of other countries whose majority population is around a similar percentage of 70% - 75% of a country and that country does not get called an ethnostate. Either, all countries with the majority ethnicity percentage above are ethnostates, or the threshold percentage needs to be higher for a country to be an ethno state, or if its only Israel who is an ethnostate and other countries with similar percentage are not, then you hold an antisemitic belief as the only jewish state should not be an exception for purely being a jewish state.

I would also like to touch on yoru usage of "non-jewish palestinian".

Whilst palestinian jews do exist (and I do know one personally), they are a very small minority of palestinians. It is illegal to be jewish in Gaza and the West Bank, so there are no rabbi's there for palestinians to convert. So I am very confused as to what you mean as there are no palestinian jews in palestine, and those that exist in the diaspora are a minority in both aspects, so whilst they deserve recognising and care, your wording is very strange and dogwhistle like. The reason I say dog whistle like, is because it is a common dog whistle for people to say that palestinians are the real jews and who we refer to as jews today are fake jews, which is obviously antisemitic.

[woman-respecter]

I’m Mizrahi and akajustmerry is just your regular Arab antisemite. I was going to be level headed about this but I am going to be a massive cunt instead.

Any Arab who says their family fought against Zionism is an antisemite. When Mizrahi Jews faced an actual genocide at the hands of Arab countries and forced into Israel (the popular belief is that WE CHOSE TO LEAVE so let that sink in), it was and is still considered anti Zionism. Why? Because most Arabs and Muslims in general have effectively and brilliantly absorbed their antisemitism into “ANTI ZIONISM” since the beginning so no, they can’t possibly ever be antisemitic when Israel is soooo bad and mean and evil :(

If you look at akajustmerry’s account, you will see no sort of self reflection. Arabs have been babied so much by the West that they will never stop to consider the possibility that they can be antisemitic. The typical response is “We’re semites”. Losing all common sense because they refuse to be held accountable. I have lost my fucking mind and been in countless fights with Arabs/Muslims because they refuse to acknowledge that they have oppressed us and they continue to. I know you’re a white Jew in America who probably don’t feel like it’s your place to talk about these things but Mizrahi Jews need your help. Seriously. What you’re dealing with since October 7th has been Soviet antisemitism mixed with Arab antisemitism.

Celebrities wearing those red hand pins “in honor of Palestine”. Girl Arabs have been haunting Mizrahim with red hands since forever. They did it to us during the Farhud, for example. It’s classic blood libel. There’s a joke that Arab antisemites are obsessed with dogs (their go to insult for “Zionists”). Well, they’re obsessed with telling us we have blood on our hands. It is so important that you read and educate yourself about Arab/Islamic antisemitism.

Going back to akajustmerry’s account, you will immediately see a HUGE issue. What is it you may ask? Well, they don’t believe in peace. They believe in a one state solution where Israel is destroyed and Israelis “face the consequences of their inherently evil behavior” aka be genocided again. Their entire account is filled with hatred against Israelis, wanting them be punished and killed, believing in CLASSIC antisemitic conspiracies that are INHERENTLY ANTISEMITIC such as ZOG (ZIONIST OCCUPIED GOVERNMENT). They believe this is okay because Israelis are “white Europeans” but at least half of Israelis (and most “Jews of color”) are Mizrahi who they forcibly removed from the Arab world, claiming we were all Zionists. But to acknowledge this means that they have to own up to their wrongs. so we may be here forever. A lot of us were Zionists but some of us were anti Zionist as communists and that meant NOTHING because all of us paid the price and it’s not the fault of Zionism. It was your classic case of “ugh, the Jews don’t want to be citizens of our countries, they’re scheming behind our backs and are only loyal to themselves”. Because to be Jewish is to be Zionist to Arabs. People don’t realize this but in the Muslim world, Israel and Zionism and Jews are one. which makes sense because most Jews are Zionist. we have integrated Zionism as a major part of us. Let’s not lie. Israel is very important to Jews. More than half of the world’s Jewish population lives there. so their convenient anti Zionism ends up encompassing all of us hence the inevitable antisemitism. The fact that they won’t self reflect or even put up a front where they hide their antisemitism and pretend to care about being accidentally antisemitic to the good ones SAYS A LOT. Akajustmerry got an anon accusing them of being antisemitic and their response was ZIONIST!!! and that was that. When any Jew you don’t like is a Zionist, well. What are you?

Lastly. All I have to say is. there are HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF ARABS. there are OVER A BILLION MUSLIMS. does this ever happen naturally? no. it was through colonization and genocide. they are no stranger to that. and yet Israel is bad? I wouldn’t have any problems with them hating Israel if they were at least honest and fair. They are no stranger to people doing bad things in their name. There are a fuckton of terrorist groups and extremists (majorly fucking up the Middle East btw) who are Muslim/Arab and many many of them are proudly supported by other Muslims/Arabs. To single out Israel is batshit insane. Mizrahi Jews in Europe (for example France) are facing some huge problems because the much larger Muslim population transported their antisemitism problem there. Think Sarah Halimi, Ilan Halimi. The second intifada enabled Muslim extremists in France to create a wave of antisemitism in response to “supporting Palestinians”. Of course any Jew would have to be insane to think Muslims are our enemy. So why are Arabs and Muslims allowed to think that of us, of Israelis and Israel and Zionists in particular? That will never be normal. Wait guys I think it’s…antisemitic….

They always say we cry antisemitism. If you spoke Arabic you’d know Arabic social media is just straight up saying yahud (jew in arabic but casually used as a slur by like everyone) instead of Zionist. They don’t even pretend. Al Jazeera knows their audience and just says yahud when talking about Israel/Israelis/Zionists.

So yeah to pick apart Jews and to say batshit insane things like anything about Israel that’s positive is propaganda. Well that’s fucking insane. it’s a complete denial of reality where Israel and Zionism is not important to the vast majority of Jews. current anti Zionism (and anti Zionism in general) has always been about ignoring reality. Because the common belief in order to pretend you’re not antisemitic JUST ANTI ZIONIST is that well only a few Jews (the bad ones) are Zionist therefore we aren’t the bad guys. but also everyone’s a Zionist because of the Zionist machine since the ZIOS (slur created by David Duke the KKK guy) control the world.

this is a long ask and i don’t 100% agree w every part of it but yeah i think ur right about how oppressed mizrahi jews have been, mostly by arab communities, and how it seems we aren’t allowef to talk about it. amd i absolutely would not be surprised if “fighting zionism” for that person entailed making lebanese mizrahi miserable or worse. i think also it’s funny when these people pretend they care about mizrahi when they can act like ur noble savages oppressed by the evil “white” ashkenazi jews when they are supporting the people who persecuted mizrahi jews most (not that u aren’t also oppressed within the jewish community at times, it’s just a less deadly oppression than literal murder etc)

[fairuzfan]

Sorry one more thing I wasn't going to talk about but if you had asked me about the binational state/land thing maybe... in 2016, I might have given a somewhat positive answer but I think that since then, Israeli society has become exponentially more racist and anti-Palestinian. Since then we had the Abraham Accords, Sheikh Jarrah, Massafir Yatta, the highest child martyr count in years, and now finally a full blown genocide. Many Palestinians who previously advocated for equality in a single state look at all this, especially in recent months and think "how can I live side by side with these people?"

The vast majority of Israeli society is not against war for the sake of the Palestinians, they're against war for their own safety. They say as much. Hell, look at standing together. The founder guy says "our security is tied in with the Palestinians'". So if it wasn't tied with the Palestinians', you wouldn't care? And I get sometimes you need to introduce people to ideas gently, but their entire organization language emphasizes "shared pain" when there is an oppressor/oppressed dynamic they aren't even hinting at. How can anyone achieve safety if you won't even admit you have power over your Palestinian org members?

Even Brothers in Arms claims to want to "strengthen democracy" but they completely ignore Palestinians have never experienced democracy in "Israel". So what's the point strengthening your own standing when the most disadvantaged still are at rock bottom?? Plus your whole group represents the IOF reservists/members, you have no intention of helping Palestinians when you are the primary oppressors. And this is not an insignificant group in israel!

Not many Israelis are willing to put themselves on the line to protect or even advocate for Palestinians. I mean 7+ months into a genocide and what did israeli society do other than protest *netanyahu*? Hold up flour bags during the flour massacre??? The people serving in the idf are your friends and family and community. Tel Aviv is an hour away from Gaza. Surely you can do *something* physical!! They had people at their Gaza borders starving Palestinians on purpose and people just... watched it happen. Not to mention the IOF, which many Israelis are a part of, participates in the genocide and has been lauded for their "heroism". I look at that and I think "how can I expect you to seriously consider my rights as a person? How do I know you won't miss your old status and reclaim it?"

We've seen Israelis *celebrate* and *ridicule* our martyrs and people. So like where us the good faith in all this? Where can we work with some of these people and think "Yeah I believe they'll respect my inherent dignity as a person"?

Which binationalism relies on this. You need to have good faith between communities for this to actually happen. But when one community won't even acknowledge it's status as an oppressor at the height of oppression? Then what?

Israel as a country has never faced any retribution for its actions for 75 years. No one is holding them accountable. The country teaches propaganda in its schools about the Nakba. There is not serious consideration for Palestinian rights in Israeli society. Why would they suddenly decide to participate in a project that puts Palestinians as equal to Israelis when they learned all their lives that Palestinians are ruthless, unreasonable people who can't be reasoned with, and Israelis are logical, poor victims who are actually the ones who need protection from the Palestinians!

It just is mind boggling because I see people constantly complain about the way they hear things from Palestinians these days like "all Israelis need to leave". And they go on to say "why would you be so hateful/why would you say that" and don't think for a minute they're experiencing a televised genocide of their people (which they could have ended up in their shoes! People forget that Gaza has multiple refugee camps! Any one of us could have lived there!) And conversely are looking to Israeli society for them to do anything and they see nothing. At least think for a moment why they would say these things given the context of the situation. There's a genocide going on! And you're worried about what the people who are experiencing their people's genocide are saying because you're worried for the society conducting said genocide?? Let's deal with the matter at hand first!!!!!!

[screamingfromuz]

People have tried a few approaches to get through to you. I'm going to try another. Why do you think this attack was such a surprise in Israel but not to anyone else on earth? When I ask people I know IRL (In the UK) about this, they say, "I'm shocked by what Hamas are doing but what did Israel expect to happen?" Outside Israel it's clear to everyone that the Gaza Strip situation was going to lead to something like this. You've known about Gaza your whole life, you've know that situation was festering for decades, so why the surprise? How did you think this would end?

i'm emotional, so you won't get a good well researched and structured answer, but an emotional ramble. but you don't want a well researched and organized answer, you want me to cave in call israel a monster colonizer and praise the "brave palestinian freedom fighters". fuck you. or say something you can use to prove how bad all israelis are and how good all palestinians are.

do you know what happened back in the 90s when the news of peace talk broke? the amount of attacks against Israelis grew, the death toll grew. in the four years after the accords the death doll doubled. Palestinian authorities celebrated that "israel gave so much without getting back like fools" and "the only good thing that came out of the accords was the intifada".

so I turn the fucking question to you? what is Israel supposed to do? who are we to talk to to reach peace? or should it dissolve? turn power on my life to people who stated they would like to kill or expel all the Jews? give more resources to a terrorist group? you saw where they put the money they get.

why the fuck do you think Israel exist? because we learned that we can never be free nor safe to be ourselves under the control of others. do you know that between 1948-1951 about 300000 MENA Jews became refugees? and the only reason nobody cares is because Israel took them in, while the whole arab world was happy to leave the Palestinians to rot. do you want a fucking list of every atrocity that was made during this conflict? because both sides have a very long one and the big difference is that Israel fucking won the 1948 war!

and of-fucking-coarse we knew something big was gonna happen! it was in the news for months! people have been screaming at the assholes in charge for so long! it doesn't make it less horrifying! it doesn't matter that we knew that Hamas are stealing all the recourse to make missiles and are going to take advantage of the chaos in israel, it doesn't matter that our extremists are feeding their extremists, cause IT DOESN'T MAKE IT FUCKING RIGHT! we knew Hamas will do some horrid war crime but didn't want to think that people will take whole cities hostage and kidnap and murder hundreds! nobody wanted it to become a fucking war you piece of condescending shit!

we wanted the sane people of both sides to take over and work together! we were hoping to use the near municipal elections to get people who support cooperative living in to the city councils so we can change stuff for the better and fight the anti peace movements of both sides! and maybe gain enough power so in the next parliamentarian elections we will get some decent people that would kickstart the peace process and support palestinian communities into the cabinet! do you know how hard we worked to support Israeli-Palestinian lists for the municipal races? how much effort is put by people to try and make things better?

so i'm gonna ask you again, what was Israel supposed to fucking do?

and If you say "to stop existing" I want you to know that you just exposed yourself as a supporter of genocide.

[jewish-vents]

this new hatsune miku nationality trend is starting to piss me off and of course the watermelon crowd just had to ruin it. at the beginning this trend was super cute and cool and now it just turned into a fest of antisemitism and xenophobia. i’ve been a vocaloid fan since 2016 so miku is one of my biggest comfort characters ever, and seeing her now being swept into this bullshit makes me so angry yet exhausted at the same time. people just won’t leave israelis alone and it’s sickening at this point. stop being so obsessed about us already!! let us have fun with trends and fictional characters too!! why do you want to erase our identities and cultures so badly? how on earth does that even help palestinians exactly. and the funniest thing is that they continue saying it’s only antizionism, not antisemitism lmao.

there’s an israeli person who drew miku as an israeli on twitter (or x. whatever), and the amount of death threats and other horrible things people commented about them is outrageous. i think they eventually deleted the post because of the harassment, and it’s just… so unfair. miku can be drawn as every nationality in the world, and no one will bat an eye. i bet even if somebody draws her as russian or something nobody will give a fuck. people will only lose their marbles and be racist/xenophobic when israel is mentioned and it’s disgusting. i know i may be extremely dramatic over a fictional character and a bunch of buffoons on the internet, but this just shows how ‘leftists’ aren’t really who they represent to be. they act like nazis in a death cult. it’s like they only pretend to care about palestine just to have an excuse to hate on israel and dehumanize half of the world’s population of jews. and yes, believe it or not israelis do have a culture, one that’s more diverse than you’d imagine. cry about it.

it’s pretty ironic how i became so emotionally drained because of a japanese vocal synthesizer. and i really love miku. but i’ll never forgive these hypocrites for not allowing us to breathe anywhere. not to mention the fact they really like to fandomize the conflict for some reason, which is just. insane.

i wish a day would come and people could just treat us like humans beings. let us fucking be

.

[scopophobia-polaris]

Hello, it's the new year and I haven't been...talking much for a long time.

As I've stated, I've had multiple health scares this year, and I -goddamn this is too formal, I dont like to talk about myself much, I'd rather keep things to myself, but I'm currently taking multiple meds for a formal diagnosis, right now I'm being treated for Bipolar. Turns out there was something up. I aint really afraid to talk about it, I mean lots of people get treated for many things and it's normal.

This was uh.....scary for me, I figured something was up and I mean I'm fine now but DAMN first 15 minutes of hearing that? Nasty. Lot of things that are super personal tied to just a lot of shit yada Yada I feel like shit for just being nonchalant about this but I don't know what else to do, I'm taking care of myself and trying to fix my life up.

But now that I'm getting to a point where I'm more stable, I'm starting to feel more ....me? Genuinely, it's gonna take me a long time to make myself get into a solid schedule, I dont think I'll ever have one, maybe the slight one i have now, but atleast I don't feel like I have 0 control over my life at this point.

Idk man I had some kind of control but I don't know...who am I kidding. I feel like a new person. I feel better, my body doesn't hurt as much.

I don't know if being a new person is a good or a bad thing for me but uh...idk idk idk maybe I kept reading through my scripts and realized something.

Anyways, now that I know when to take the meds so I can draw, I've been back to just? Drawing and having fun?

Really living by this its why I'm not online much, if I aint having fun what's the point.

BUT now I get to the uh...other shit.

So because of the meds stuff and all kinds of shit mostly......IM ABOUT TO LOSE INSURANCE...... and I've done a few things.

For starters. I'm setting up a patreon, I'm going to do it so that it would only charge when I make a post of 5-10 pages of the comic, I'm gonna get through my first half of chapter 4 before I ever even think if taking anything from ANYONE, so no monthly just for specificposts. Quite ffrankly, I do not like money, like in a way of it makes me nervous and I want people to get a bang out of their buck because I'd I don't make it good is it worth it????

tWO......I don't like advertising, I never did, I probably should of said I have them last few plushes during December (like everyone around me was saying to do and YET....there is less then 10😭) but I wanted people to be spending money on something worthwhile. Hell I mean, it's guilt, its massive guilt, there are people more in need and NOW MORE THAN EVER.....so to not feel like a thief, anyone who gets this critter here, I will donate a solid 30USD out of each purchase to a family in Gaza in need, of your choice of course. I need to pay for shipping but whatever else is left I will donate the rest. That should leave me around $40 on each plush and that's fine, I'm gonna save it for meds because when I go uninsured idk how long it's gonna be, maybe a bit maybe a while, I dont know yet but I wanna provide aid in some way. Like ceasefire don't mean shit until it's permanent, and I don't trust Israelis to hold true to any promise. So I want some of that money to atleast help SOMEONE. Because in the end I know I can get by but.

But my wife is the only person with a job.......😬😬😬😬😬

Besides all of that I'm sorry I haven't uploaded pages or drawings or anything, I wanna have a better relationship online, like I did when I was younger, when it was just fun and I had my own corner, maybe that'd nostalgia but I'm getting sick of social media, and maybe I don't wanna be walking on eggshells because of fandom whatever. So I will be trying to do more in the future, I hope yall have a good day.

And thank you again for all the patience with my slow ass 😭