#i just want to see a person explode into hundreds of human sized bats and fly into the night or perhaps destroy an incredible amount of shit

[muckmagister]

it's well known that vampires can transform into a bat or even swarm of small bats, however, i imagine it is not off the table to transform into one big boy or perhaps even a swarm of such beautiful creatures

suffice to say i've never wanted to meet a vampire more than right now

[minecraftbookshelf]

What’s the situation with hostile mobs in the marriage of the state AU? I assume the answer is different for night mobs and Illagers/witches, based on what you’ve mentioned before?

So, if nighttime mobs do exist, do they come from somewhere? Or do they just form out of death smoke like they do in the game? Slime is an important codland export, so are slimes different?

And Illagers are probably just another race right? Or is it more of a culture thing? Are villagers also a race distinct from humans? How do the codfolk/mythland interact with the swamp witches, who you mentioned before do exist?

Also this isn’t really related to the main question but I don’t want to make a separate ask; are gems antlers from elven or deer-hybrid ancestry? (Are elves just deer-hybrid fae?)

Wow that’s a lot of questions, your Worldbuilding is really good btw. (And your writing too)

It's low-key kind of scary how you you're batting...three for three? i think? on asking exactly the thing I really want to talk about XD

You would be correct, most of the night mobs are basically wildlife, if incredibly hostile wildlife. Creepers and spiders and such. (Though spiders are sometimes less hostile and more just, doin their own thing and mindin their own business.)

Skeletons and zombies are also not sentient (anymore) and are basically considered large, dangerous pests. Like if cockroaches were human sized and out to ruin your day, specifically. (I'm not sure of their exact origins yet, because I haven't quite decided how I'm adapting my base mcyt mythology for this au)

Spiders are just like real world small spiders as far as "where they come from". Creepers and Slimes are actually similar in origin, n that they are sort of a magical manifestation of an environment. They both kind of...grow? Out of the land. Slimes are a bit pickier about where they grow from.

Slimes can also be farmed (As in livestock, not in the minecraft sense) which they are in the Swamp, where they also grow at a higher rate. They can be fed algae to encourage them to grow, and then split to make smaller slimes, which can be grown in turn.

Creepers just...separate themselves from the land and wander around after dark. Unless they encounter something that causes them to explode. They're generally considered to have about equivalent intelligence of dogs, as far as anyone can tell, and don't seem to be sentient.

Illagers/Villagers are just human/human+. Villagers are usually interpreted as citizens of relevant empires (see, smajor's elves and ldshadowlady's...pastel fish people) while Illagers are a specific culture, mostly based out of the mountains. (This is mostly because I just associate them with mountains because that's where I somehow encounter most of the Pillager Towers I find while playing minecraft.) They are primarily nomadic but do have bases (said towers) and most of them consider the Crystal Cliffs to be their homeland, as much as they have one.

Witches are also humans/hybrids and its a set of abilities and skills and not a species. the Swamp Witches are a specific group who live deep in The Swamp and mainly are fairly isolated, through they do provide council and aid to the other Swamp Dwellers, particularly during the Occupied years, which was when they separated from the majority of the population and went into hiding, when they were targeted by the invaders. The other Swamp Dwellers tend to regard them with cautious respect.

There are also wandering witches, who tend to travel around and either help or harm (based off personal inclination) as they go. Pix is on decently good terms with about half of them, with the other half it is on sight. (Mostly on the part of the witches)

Most Witches do not exist on good terms with Mythland, even a few hundred years down the line. Tensions remain.

-

As for Gem's antlers...

:)

So elves are not deer hybrids (or owl hybrids) despite sharing a few physical traits. (and the fae of the Overgrown are not hybrids either, despite frequent resemblances to butterflies and/or cats)

The primary differences are instincts. Fae and fae adjacent people tend to have some physical traits of different animal species, but they aren't actually from the species if that makes any sense. They don't have the animalistic instincts and tendencies any more than they have the human ones, despite resemblances both ways.

Hybrids are actually human+, as I referred to them earlier in this post. All hybrid species started out as humans. They're ultimately the result of the environmental magic of the world (and sometimes meddling from gods and spirits and such). They will have some combination of physical traits and instincts from their additive animal species, to go along with their human ones. They will also have human lifespans and developmental cycles, with a few minor variations here and there.

(But Rain, you say, you made a whole post about Seafolk and their life cycles and development and how its different from humans? Yes because the Seafolk aren't entirely hybrids either. The Deep Oceans have their own variations of fae folk and there was much more intermarriage and cultural crossover there than on Land. But that's another post altogether.)

As for Gem in specific...All I'll say for now is that

A) There is some extant xenophobia against fae races in a lot of majority human kingdoms and half-elven and elvish-descendant individuals often struggle.

B) Gem insisted stoutly her entire childhood that her antlers are because she's a deer hybrid.

C) Deer hybrids have tails.

D) Gem does not have a tail.

[solalunar-eclipse]

45.06°N, 1.656°E

Summary: Rouge deserves more cool.

Word count: about 4200 words

Author’s Note: Hopefully my writing abilities haven’t deteriorated too much over the hiatus- but either way, please enjoy! (Side note: this is technically set after Scars You Can’t See, but it isn’t vital to read that if you haven’t already)

...

It was truly a beautiful day outside in Empire City. Puffy clouds drifted across a rich blue sky, a light breeze pushing them along as the sun shone down brightly- just enough to bring the temperature up to a comfortable range. Its rays shimmered upon one of the many tall, silvery buildings that this city was known for, threatening to leave a temporary mark on the vision of anyone who looked at it for too long. This particular building advertised itself as an insurance company’s headquarters, and it looked perfectly in place amongst all the other skyscrapers in the city.

The activities going on inside, however, were anything but ‘in place’.

Near the very top of the towering structure, a bat sat in front of a wall-sized computer screen, her black-gloved fingers flying across the keyboard. Firewalls and security systems fell like sandcastles swept out by the tide- no corner of this building was safe when she was in control. Identity checks meant nothing to her, passwords were a breeze, and two-factor authentication? A joke.

Rouge smiled in satisfaction, taking a break to stretch out her fingers now that she was successfully through the various measures designed to keep hackers like her out of these computers. With a click of the mouse and a few keys tapped, the various sums of money the people who worked here had stolen began to make their way back to their rightful owners’ bank accounts.

After all, this building didn’t actually house an insurance company. That was just a cover story for the real business here- draining the cash out of innocent people’s funds. Rouge had been determined to stop this as soon as she’d learned about it before any more people got hurt (when she stole it was usually from rich people who could afford to have one of many diamonds go missing- this was just cruel!), and now she’d successfully completed about half the job. Just returning the money wasn’t quite enough, of course- this scheme had been running for over a year now, and it was about time someone put a stop to it for good. 

That was where her friends came in.

While she manned the cameras, Shadow and Omega were grabbing plenty of physical evidence from the various offices throughout the building- more than enough to incriminate everyone who worked here. Rouge’s job was mostly to ensure that they could get what they needed without any serious trouble. It might be a difficult task, considering that Omega was set on blowing up most of the tech stored here...but she was prepared to deal with that.

The bat leaned back in her chair, catching a quick glimpse of herself in the window as she did so. Ever since they’d left G.U.N., a great perk (in addition to the lack of association with a corrupt military organization, obviously) was that they could wear whatever they wanted on the job. Before, Rouge had really been pushing it on ‘formality’ with her jumpsuit alone, and even then she hadn’t been allowed to wear anything else while on the job for the sake of ‘consistency’.

Now, in a drastic change from her usual style, she wore a tight black leather jumpsuit over a purple shirt, complete with white gloves and high-heeled boots. The latter two had neon blue accents, too, providing a burst of color as well as an actual light source to see by- perfect for dark missions.

Shadow and Omega hadn’t been allowed any personal effects re: clothing before due to the fact that a few too many supervisors saw them as weapons and not people. Rouge had of course argued against this, but there was only so much one person could do.

Now, though, the bat had insisted that both of her friends get more clothing- ‘if nothing else then to stick it to them’ were her exact words- and they had both taken to it quite well after an initial period of hesitancy. Omega in particular had been quite devastated (and then promptly offended) upon discovering that no leather jackets were currently produced in his specific size. Eventually, however, he was placated with the offer of a fedora, claiming it made him look ‘VERY MYSTERIOUS’. He had now taken to collecting hats as well as weaponry.

Shadow could fit into a leather jacket, on the other hand, and consequently owned about five of them, three of which he’d bought within the same week. Today he wore one with red stitching, and while he hadn’t had anything to say about it, Rouge had caught him admiring it in the mirror before the mission (at which point he scowled, blushed green to his ears, and teleported away).

Right now, though, he and Omega were quietly discussing which documents to take and which ones to leave behind. It would raise suspicions far too quickly if the criminals inhabiting this building came back to discover a completely bare office, after all, so they only took several receipts of major transactions as well as a list of the bank account numbers that had been hacked- and some future targets as well.

(Was this whole thing illegal? Kind of. Did anyone really mind so long as they were helping others? Not really. After all, Tails was totally not old enough to fly a plane, but at this point the government had basically thrown up their hands and said ‘whatever I guess’, so it was fine.)

“ROUGE.” Omega said suddenly, making the bat stop her musing and drop her feet from the desk. “THIS IS IMPORTANT.”

“Yeah, hon? What is it?” she asked, ready to deal with any problems that might arise.

“MY HAT KEEPS FALLING OFF. I REQUIRE SOME SORT OF METHOD TO KEEP IT ON.”

The bat sighed and gave a relieved laugh as Shadow hissed, “Omega! This is a serious mission!”

“It’s alright, Shadow. Omega, we’ll find some double-sided tape or something when we get home, alright?”

The robot paused for a moment, thinking. “THIS IS ACCEPTABLE.”

As Rouge watched, they gathered up the rest of the items and began to move towards the lobby. Today was an off day for the ‘business’, so most of the hallways would be empty. The secretary out front would take his usual break to go get lunch in two minutes as well, giving them a clear chance to escape.

And of course that was when everything went wrong.

It turned out that leaving G.U.N. (while the right idea) wasn’t without its occasional disadvantages. If they’d still been part of the military organization, then they would’ve had the resources to figure out that these criminals were more than a little paranoid, so their security system ran diagnostics every hour on the dot. When it discovered the hacking, it locked Rouge’s access to any other computer terminal and then restricted every single application on that one computer.

These people weren’t exactly beginners when it came to computers, after all.

The bat jumped out of her chair the second her computer glitched and froze, panicked. “Guys. Guys, get out of here right now.” she said urgently into her microphone. “I can bust out a window but you two have to go right now-”

She froze as, on the screen, multiple armed guards and two gigantic mechs dropped down onto the ground level and pointed their guns at Shadow and Omega. The robot moved to cover the hybrid’s back as Shadow pulled his favorite katana sword out of its scabbard.

Rouge refused to sit and watch another minute, kicking the door off its hinges hard enough to slam it against the opposite wall and tearing down the hallway to save her teammates.

Shadow and Omega fought well in the meantime, managing to take out one of the mechs and several guards too. Occasionally, Shadow even curled up and was promptly fired out of his friend’s cannon at top speed, turning into a deadly projectile all by himself.

Eventually, though, one of the guards got too smart and pulled out a stun gun, shocking Omega long enough to put the robot temporarily out of commission. Shadow spun around to defend his friend, using the Chaos Emerald he’d brought along to deliver a devastating blow- but he had nobody to watch his back now, and it barely took a minute before the mech found an opening to slam him into the wall as he dealt with the guards.

Shadow dropped to the ground weakly, temporarily unconscious. Omega was still struggling to get his systems back online.

Rouge, meanwhile, was furious.

The bat rushed to the balcony overlooking the lobby from the third floor, her teeth bared as she watched the mech move into position, prepared to bring its giant fist down on Shadow’s unmoving body. Flipping over the railing, she free-fell the three stories to the ground, slamming both heels into the marble and leaving a long crack across the floor. She snatched up the Emerald from the tile where it had fallen out of Shadow’s quills, holding it tightly in her hand. 

“Leave him alone. Now.” she snarled.

When the mech pilot gave her nothing more than a cursory glance, raising the steel fist higher, Rouge charged.

An ultrasonic shriek exploded from her lungs, making every other human in the room double over and clutch their ears. At the exact same time, the glass in the extra-tall windows of the lobby vibrated, cracked, and then shattered into hundreds of pieces.

Rouge didn’t see any of that. Rouge didn’t care about any of that. All she could see was the hedgehog she’d come to care about so much about to be crushed by someone who barely even knew his name.

She jumped up and whirled around in the air, the power of her wings suddenly (strangely) strong enough to send the mech swaying backwards slightly, before lashing out with a kick that dented the chestplate of the thing and hit it hard enough to-

-and Rouge’s eyes widened-

-to send it flying through the shattered windows and down the street that the building faced, so far that it became nothing more than a speck in the horizon.

This was, incidentally, a mech that weighed over two tons. 

Omega, near the other end of the room, silently thanked every inventor that had ever lived (aside from Eggman) that he had powered back on in time to see this.

Rouge, however, didn’t spare more than a second to think about it, instead dropping to her knees to check on Shadow. The moment she pressed the Chaos Emerald back into his hand, the hybrid’s eyes began to open slowly.

“Ugh….what happened…?”

“That moron of a pilot smacked you into a wall, hon. Are you gonna be okay?” Rouge asked, scanning his face for any sign of a concussion.

Shadow blinked twice, then suddenly sat bolt upright, his eyes wide. “...Rouge? Are you sure you’re alright?” 

The bat frowned, confused, looking over herself. “Yeah, hon, I’m….”

She froze.

While Rouge had seen many strange things in her time, the sight of her lower legs and feet glowing bright purple was certainly a first.

As she jumped back from Shadow in surprise, she let go of the Chaos Emerald in his hand, making the aura surrounding her fade. “What...what was that?”

“YOU WERE SO COOL. THAT IS WHAT THAT WAS.” Omega declared, hauling himself to his feet and walking over. “YOU BEGAN TO GLOW AND KICKED THAT INFERIOR CREATION SEVERAL MILES AWAY. THE ONLY REGRET IN THIS SCENARIO IS THAT YOU WERE UNABLE TO CONTINUE DESTROYING YOUR ENEMIES, AS THERE WAS ONLY ONE OF THEM.”

Shadow looked up at her in surprise and- was that a little bit of awe? “I should have known you’d be able to use Chaos powers!” he said, shaking his head as he got to his feet. “Incredible...it’s no wonder you’re so resilient in battle.”

Rouge pointedly ignored the light flush on her face from all of this praise. “Well, we’ve got what we came for, so there. We’ll leave all of this evidence-” and clearly she wasn’t just talking about the papers- “for that new organization the government’s setting up. What’s it called again?”

Omega shrugged- an odd motion with his bulky shoulders. “THEY’RE STILL DECIDING. HOPEFULLY IT TURNS OUT TO BE SOMETHING COOL.”

“Well, whatever their name is, it’s their job now to deal with all this.” Rouge said, gesturing around at the general mess.

At that moment, the secretary returned with his food, only to stop dead in his tracks and stare at the three members of Team Dark amongst the wreckage of two gigantic robots and a lot of broken glass.

The bat ‘s face split into a wide, wicked grin, pointing directly at him. “And you’ll be the one to explain it to them!”

(It took one extremely short chase to retrieve the man- who foolishly thought he could lose Shadow and Rouge in the alleyways- before he was tied to one of the disgustingly ostentatious pillars by Omega. The team then went home and spent the next two hours watching Rouge glow and then break things…mostly things she meant to hit.)

…

Several days later, her team and Sonic's crew (plus Amy Rose) were in a different city, dealing with the usual biweekly Eggman attack. This one seemed, unfortunately, to not have most of the weak spots that usually came into play when fighting one of his giant robots, as both the power source and the mad scientist in question were heavily guarded.

However, after a particularly well-timed attack from Omega, Amy, and Knuckles all at once, Rouge spotted a panel that was currently rather dented and bent open with some wiring spilling out, and knew exactly what to do.

“Shadow! Omega! Cover me!” she shouted, leaping into the air and soaring towards the robot.

Immediately, she saw several smaller robots explode in her periphery, having fallen victim to the deadly lasers and Chaos Spears that her friends used. Her focus was on one thing and one thing only, though- making it up to that panel.

The moment Rouge latched on, she pulled open the panel the rest of the way and began to rewire the machine at an impressive pace. While she might not be the same kind of tech expert as Tails, who built devices and wrote code most people with a PhD couldn’t understand if they tried, one thing she certainly knew was how to make computers do what she wanted.

Eventually, though, Eggman caught on to what she was doing and tried to swat her off his mech with its two giant metal fists. “What do you think you’re doing down there with my robot?” he shouted, swinging at her wildly.

Suddenly, one of the fists in question promptly vanished, replaced by a smoking hole and a bunch of wires where a functioning steel hand was supposed to be. Rouge, startled, looked around for what could possibly have caused this- and promptly relaxed upon seeing Omega retracting his biggest laser cannon (which was glowing red-hot) back into his chassis with a glare up at his creator.

Thankfully, he’d also provided just the distraction she needed to rewire the last few parts, at which point she jumped off just as the robot began to spin wildly...and then its entire midsection exploded, launching the command center with Eggman still inside a good fifty feet into the air.

The bat landed on the ground to cheers from her friends and took a dramatic bow. Omega clapped a hand on her shoulder in a friendly way (which meant he only knocked the wind out of her and didn’t shove her several feet deep into the asphalt) as Shadow looked on with his arms folded, but still clearly proud.

“Wow, Rouge!” Tails exclaimed, his eyes wide and smile wider. “I didn’t realize you knew your way around that kind of tech that well- you should totally stop by my lab sometime!”

The bat shrugged. “It comes with the job, that’s all.” she insisted, but internally she was more than a little surprised- it still didn’t quite come naturally to her to consider that people would be impressed by what she did. All G.U.N. had ever told her was that she’d done ‘as well as was expected’, which made it seem like her skills were just average. Seeing someone who she’d mostly considered an acquaintance telling her how incredible her skills were when to her it was just ‘something I can do’ was...pretty nice, actually.

Rouge offered him a quick grin as the other three heroes came rushing up to her in varying states of surprise and excitement. “I just might take you up on that offer sometime.”

…

A week after that, Team Dark was spending time at the Station Square mall together- a common occurrence for them. It had good clothes, tolerable food, and most importantly lots of jewelry stores. They were here today because Rouge’s favorite was having a sale, and she refused to miss out on any opportunity to shop for gems.

After about an hour of looking around in the store (most of which was spent attempting to prevent Rouge from emptying said store and/or sneaking things out from inside locked cases), the three finally left with about four tiny bags of jewelry, which Omega wore hooked over his fingers. “THIS SEEMS WASTEFUL, BUT ALSO AMUSING.” he’d commented, at which point the bat riding on his shoulder gasped in mock outrage and began to vehemently defend the store’s choices.

They hadn’t gone more than a few steps, though, before she heard some gasps and squeals somewhere off to the left. She sighed. Some people seemed to have this odd hero-worship thing around Shadow, but the attention only made him feel awkward, so it looked like she’d have to play guard as usual here. Drifting down from her perch as the three young women approached, she said, “Alright, ladies, what are you here for?”

The bravest of the three moved forward, clutching something in her hands. “Uh…”

Rouge prepared herself to say no on behalf of her friend, to hear complaints like ‘why can’t we talk to Shadow?? You suck”, but then-

“...can you sign this poster, please?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t— wait, what?”

The bat stared at the poster, her eyes wide. A picture of herself looked right back at her, a smirk spread across her printed self’s face as jewels dripped from the hand not resting on her hip.

The photo was rather outdated now, having been taken not long after the ARK disaster. Post-crisis, Sonic had insisted that everyone (except for Eggman, since he’d caused that whole mess in the first place) get recognition for trying to save the planet together...and that included her. 

Rouge and Sonic had both been wearing Shadow’s inhibitor rings during that photo shoot. It was their way of making sure that even though he wasn’t with them any longer, even though nobody would really remember who he was, he’d still live on in some little way without a big announcement.

She took the poster quickly, shaking off old memories, and gave them a genuine smile- rare for strangers. “Of course, hon!” she said, taking the offered pen and signing her name with a flourish and a little heart.

The one who’d asked promptly squealed and clutched at the poster, a big grin on her face. “Oh wow, thank you sooo much!” she gushed. “You know, you’re, like, my hero, right? Everyone always just, like, says that you can’t look good and be a real hero at the same time, you’re either a sell-out or too serious...but, you’re, like, both?? And that’s just so, y’know, empowering? To see someone looking fabulous and being a hero, but like not taking any nasty comments about it?”

Both her friends agreed eagerly, and Rouge found herself blushing just a little at all this praise. “If either of you have anything else, I could write something on those too,” she offered, still feeling a little bit bewildered at the moment.

This earned her two simultaneous squeals of “Really?!” followed by a lot of frantic searching for paper. Rouge was more than happy to sign her name there too, even adding a little message to each of them- and to the poster for good measure. As the three fans cheered, snapped a quick selfie with her (which was something she so wasn’t used to either), and then rushed off with a “thank you so much!!” Rouge found herself still smiling as she turned to walk back to her friends.

Shadow and Omega had moved a little ways away during all of the fuss, and now they were sporting similarly pleased expressions with more than a little bit of smugness mixed in. “SEE?” Omega asked, and Rouge could tell he’d be smirking if he were able to do so. “WE HAVE TOLD YOU OVER AND OVER AGAIN THAT YOU ARE EXCEPTIONALLY COOL. YOU DIDN’T BELIEVE US THEN, THOUGH….DO YOU NOW?” He stopped there and somehow promptly assumed an even stronger I-told-you-so air than before.

“Maybe you’ll even get your own fanclub before long...oh, wait. Look what I just found.” Shadow added, tossing his phone over to her. Only the faintest of smirks was visible on his face (they were in public, after all) as Rouge stared at the screen proclaiming the current website to be “The Official Rouge Fansite (anyone feel free to join!!)”.

The bat found herself blushing to her ears, flattered and surprised by all of the support she hadn’t known existed until now.

Omega picked her up and set her on his shoulder, turning his head to look up at his friend. “COOL PEOPLE LIKE YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO WALK PLACES.”

“And-” Shadow added, slinging the bags she’d acquired at the store over her shoulder. “-cool people like you shouldn’t have to carry anything either.”

Rouge wondered briefly if her grin might strain her face if it grew much wider. Leaping down for a moment, she hovered in the air just long enough to ruffle the quills on top of Shadow’s head before perching back on Omega’s shoulder and patting the robot fondly. “You two dorks are the best.” she said warmly.

Shadow huffed and began to walk on ahead, clearly embarrassed. “DORK.” Omega called after the hedgehog, his eyes brightening by about fifteen percent in good humor. 

“She called you one too, you know.” Shadow replied without looking back.

“YES, BUT YOUR DORKINESS IS MORE OBVIOUS.” Omega declared, by now shouting across several stores as Rouge tried to stifle a laugh.

“If you don’t catch up and stop talking I’ll hide all the hats in your favorite store and you’ll never find them.” the hybrid growled.

Rouge promptly discovered that Omega, despite weighing a thousand pounds, could in fact move quite quickly when threatened with the loss of a chance to add to his new clothing collection. The robot fired all of his boosters at once, sending them flying down that particular wing of the mall and nearly slamming into a wall in the process.

After a spirited chase that lasted over five minutes (along with lots of shouts of “get him, Omega!” and jumping off balconies and general taunting), the group was promptly escorted out of the mall without a chance to enjoy the store they’d started the ‘fight’ over in the first place.

Rouge watched her two friends sulk for a minute before smirking suddenly. 

“Guess what?” she asked, stepping back to look at both of them.

When she had their attention, she pulled out a nice new summer outfit with a laugh…from that same place.

“You didn’t.” Shadow said, staring at the clothing.

“OH, SHE DID.” 

Rouge then proceeded to pull both a cool hat in all gold and a nice blue bomber jacket out from behind her back as well, her smile widening even more. “Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten you two at all. Or forgotten to pay, either.” she added quickly with a sigh. She soon shifted to watching with delight, though, as Shadow’s eyes widened considerably and Omega’s head whirled to fixate on her hand. 

“HAND IT OVER.” he ordered, holding out his clawed, metallic fingers insistently.

“Well...since you asked so rudely...no.” Rouge replied, before leaping into the sky with a grin.

“What?” Shadow gasped.

The robot’s eyes narrowed. “DON’T YOU DARE.”

Rouge flew higher at that. “Oh, but I do dare.” She wheeled around and began to fly off at top speed, snickering at the sound of indignant shouts behind her. Soon enough, she heard the swish-swish of Shadow’s skates and the clanking of Omega not far behind.

They might be able to catch her eventually, she mused, soaring through a gap between buildings- she wasn’t that fast, really. It wouldn’t be easy for them at all, though. 

After all, Rouge was just as powerful as they were, in her own way.

[sagethewriter90-blog]

Hunter Tales: Trolls

Chapter 3 : Three, Two, One: The Hunt is still on. Hunter stopped at the mouth of a large pond in front of a large cliff that stood tall at six thousand feet. He let out a sharp whistle as he stared at it. He squatted low to the ground and took off with a sprint up the cliff's face. When he made it to the top he jumped and landed in front of a dilapidated log cabin. The cabin sunk down on the right side, there were deep and tiny holes on the logs and a red door hung loosely from the frame on rusty hinges. Hunter took a step forward and a loud shot rung and a fast projectile came toward him leaving a golf ball sized hole through the door. Hunter ducked out of the way of it he stayed low and looked at the cabin with apprehension. The door fell from the frame and a grey cloaked figure barrel rolled out of the tiny house aiming a slingshot at him. The hood of the cloak shadowed the person’s identity, Hunter tried to stand up but stopped as the figure fired another shot from the sling at his feet. The shot left a nice size crater behind curious he looked inside the hole and saw a tiny white pebble inside. The figure reached inside the chest pocket of the cloak and pulled out another pebble. They loaded it into the sling and took aim, “Those last two were warning shots you move again and this one goes between your eyes. Now who are you and what are you doing here?” asked the figure in a deep voice “My name, I go by many, but the elf at the Brisbane inn decided to call me Hunter and I am on a job from said elf to kill the threat here.”, he said. The figure lowered the weapon, and placed inside the chest pocket it removed the hood to reveal a dark skinned blind elf woman. She had a short afro, two large gold hoop earrings in both of her pointed ears, and she had a pair of bifocal glasses hanging around her neck from twine. Hunter stood up and watched her cautiously as she walked closer towards him. She grabbed his wrists and a smirk appeared on her face which only grew when her hands trailed down his body to feel the belt. She took a step back and let out a long relieved sigh, “I see it’s been twenty years since I felt my creations follow me.” She turned around and walked back toward the cabin she ducked underneath the door frame and disappeared into the house he followed soon after. He entered the cabin and saw the woman standing in front of a red brick furnace, an oak barrel sat in the middle of the room next to an anvil and on top of the anvil was a small sledgehammer. “Now for introductions my name is Laura Rosina and I was the blacksmith and inventor of the kingdom before the attack. I created the items you are currently wearing. ” she said. Hunter sat down and asked, “How… How did you harness elemental power.?” Laura turned and reached into the furnace she pulled out a small gray burlap sack that was tied closed by a piece of twine. He opened the bag and emptied its contents out on the ground before him. The sack contained ; a pair of talons, snake skin, and the skeletal remains of a fish. “Me and Tatianna used our elven magic to infuse the elemental attributes of those items into the gems in your belt and bracers.” He picked up the talons and inspected it, “What about the talons?” he asked. Laura let out a sigh and sat down she reached out and took the talons from his hand, “This I used to infused the element of air into a… I forget.” she placed the talons back on the ground, “Now since you are here let's get started.” Quick like a rabbit she jumped into a standing position, he looked at her with confusion “What are you talking about?” She smiled “I'm talking about me making you a weapon for your journey anything you want.” He reached into his pockets and removed the golden eyeball and he untied the string he reached out and placed the items into her hands, “Dealer's choice.” He said she nodded and placed the items on top of the barrel, Laura pointed toward the door, “You wait outside I work better alone.” Hunter stood up, bowed his head slightly and exited out of her workshop he walked to the edge of the cliff and sat down. He placed his hands on his knees, closed his eyes and started to meditate a few hours later Laura stepped out of the workshop with a burlap wrapped up and tied with twine. He stood up and walked over “So, how much do I owe you?” Laura shook her head, “It's on the house I want to help you in your mission.” Laura reached out with her left hand and grabbed Hunter’s wrist and placed the wrapped item in his hands. Hunter nodded and carefully removed the twine and burlap to reveal a pair of golden grappling gloves. Both of the gloves had an ankh symbol etched on to the metal surface, “So, What do you think?” she asked Hunter looked over the gloves and smiled Hunter stepped back and took a knee to her, “Thank you.” Laura chuckled lightly, “No thanks needed. Now on the other side of my cabin a few yards out are some giant walls that lead to the troll’s castle.” Hunter stood up, shook Laura's hand and then took off towards the shack in a sprint. With a single bound he cleared a hundred yards in two seconds he landed on the ground in a barrel roll and sprung to his feet in front of a giant set of oak wood doors that were flanked by giant white walls. Different images of trolls of many different sizes and shapes danced around images of people tied to poles with pain and anguish on there faces. “Halt!” yelled out a two high pitched voices the ground in front of the doors started crumble apart and a long two headed green snake like creature crawled out of the hole on eight giant spider legs it balanced itself on it's tail and looked down at Hunter. “Who? You?” said the thirty foot tall black eyed creature it sniffed the air and it stared at Hunter with hatred. The left and right head shouted respectively, “MURDERER! KILL!” the creature scurried toward him and head butted Hunter into the air from the end of it’s tail it launched a string of gray webbing at Hunter. Hunter stopped his accent his eyes glowing orange, a tiny flame appeared around his middle finger and he curled it underneath his thumb. Hunter flicked his finger and he unleashed a huge flame arrow that turned the web to ash and pinned the creature’s tail to the ground. The snake-spider let out a yell of pain as the flames of the arrow consumed it. Hunter landed with a barrel roll to his feet and stared at the anguished beast, “It's time to end this.” Hunter said he formed two flame swords in his hands and sprinted towards the creature. The creature stared to chuckle menacingly and it’s skin split open and Hunter's wind was sent bouncing across the ground from a tail whip. In a flash the creature constricted itself around his body Hunter freed himself by unleashing a giant explosion of flames which sent the snake-spider through the door and walls Hunter popped his neck and activated the belt and bracers and walked through the hole. He entered onto a long paved road that was made of human skeletons he looked forward and saw the creature surrounded by six million trolls all armed to the teeth and all staring at him snarling and gnashing their fangs. The creature toward over the others and asked “What? Do?” Hunter smirked and slammed his hands on the ground causing a giant explosion of steam to erupt from the ground. The steam died down revealing gold statues of every last troll Hunter stood up and jumped over the statues he landed in a squat on the other side and continued to walk. A few hundred yards away Hunter walked up to a path that on either side were twenty concrete pedestals that had metal bat sculptures on top of all them. Hunter walked on the road toward a giant crater filled with rubble and a giant throne made of bones. On the right side of the throne was a great sword made from gray tungsten in the middle of the sword was a giant white diamond. A tall pale skinned woman with neck length long matted brunette hair and lifeless eyes sat on the bone throne. She looked to be in her late twenties and was clad torso to toe in tungsten armor when she spotted Hunter she gripped the hilt of her blade the diamond lit up and she stood up she asked, “So! Are you to blame for killing my comrades?” Hunter nodded and with great speed she unleashed a giant vertical slash towards him. He jumped up and landed in the crater and aimed a finger gun at her he unleashed a fire hose blast of water at her. The water hit her in the chest knocking her into the throne two hundred thousand blocks of cement levitated from the ground and were launched at her she in a blink of an eye the bricks turned to dust and fell around her in a perfect circle. She stood in the middle with her blade on her shoulders “So you sure are flashy but now I must cut you.” In a blink of an eye she stood behind Hunter with her blade on her shoulders his body fell on the ground in fabulous gory fashion. The armor clad woman jumped backwards over the bloody chunks and stood in front of her throne. Just then a loud snap rung out and the pile of flesh exploded in flames the shockwave from the explosion knocked her through the bone throne. Her body skipped across the ground and she slammed back first on Hunter's torso the bracers and belt gone from his body. He wrapped his arms around her waist, picked her up and slammed her down on the ground with a German suplex. Hunter got to his feet and the woman sat up and asked her voice full of confusion and irritation, “How are you still alive I chopped you up what are you?” He shrugged and replied, “I don't know I just don't die that’s why I'm a hunter.” The woman shook her head, “No! That's not an answer what are you?!” Her lifeless eyes turned dark grey and in a graceful motion she removed his head from his body. His head fell to the ground and turned to ash and as his body fell flames shot out of his neck hole and a new head appeared which he then used to head butt the blade out of her hand. The sword landed few feet behind him and then he kicked her in the chest and launched her backward a few hundred feet she slid to a stop and stared at Hunter with a crazed look. Hunter took in a huge breath in and let it out slowly then his eyes turned orange. He snapped his fingers and stomped his feet and the skin on his waist and wrist glowed green and blue respectively. A few of the stone blocks levitated off the ground and started to melt he clenched his fist and the slag covered both of his arms up to his shoulders then turned to steam. Hunter slammed his hand on the ground and stood up then he flipped the bird to the woman. Her grey eyes showed anger and she sprinted at him Hunter watched her get closer and closer and tilted his head from side to side chuckling. With the blatant show of disrespect the woman let out a roar and lunged at him just then giant geyser of steam erupted from the ground and engulfed her melting the armor from her body. When the geyser subsided she fell to the ground soaked. She wore a leather tank top and pants that clung to her body she writhed in pain from the blisters on her exposed skin. She stood up her hair was wet singed and patchy and her face full of blisters. She layed on the ground flailing her arms trying and failing to hit Hunter the blisters started to pop and thousand white and green tendrils shot out from the pustules and it cocooned itself around her. The top of the shell exploded and a white and green striped creature that was two feet taller than Hunter stood inside the shell ankle deep in a slimy white and green liquid. It had three fingers on both hands and two toes on it’s feet. It had a great white shark fin on top of it's head, it’s eyes were glowing with grey energy, and it’s teeth were sharp and serrated like tiny saw blades. “To answer your early question I am the troll leader and I am your end.” It said in deep and raspy voice and in a blink it grabbed his neck tightly and lifted him up eye level. Hunter ignited one of his hands in flames and he brought it down across the wrist of the creature. It yelled in agony and fell to it’s knees and whimpered as it cradled it’s cauterized stump. Hunter landed on the ground on his feet and removed the hand from his throat and burnt it to ash. Three tiny holes opened up on each digit of the troll’s hand and tiny sharp needles poked out of the holes the troll pointed it toward him and fired a hailstorm of needles at him. Hunter performed a few backflips and dodged the fast moving projectiles. The creature ran toward Hunter with it’s hand balled into a fist. When it got close enough a long tendril of stone shot out of the ground and wrapped around it’s wrist and feet bringing the tall beast to it’s knees. Hunter lifted up his arms and chunks of stone enclosed around the troll's body leaving only the head exposed. It struggled and shouted expletives at him. Hunter walked closer to it and stopped in front of the captured troll. It started to gnash, snarl and bite at him “What the hell are you I killed you, you come back it makes no sense!” the troll yelled in frustration Hunter's eyes and arm started to glow brightly and two giant flaming wings exploded from his back and two water spikes formed on the back of his wrist. The troll's eyes widened in shock, “You're ….” It was quickly silenced as Hunter jammed his water spikes in it's temple the water entered the creature's body when his wings exploded and entered into the rock that surrounded the troll the rocks exploded in a pillar of flames and the creature yelled in agony. When the flames and screams subsided there was nothing left but a ring of liquid gold that surrounded a sphere of water that was enclosed around the armored lady. Her leather outfit was in tatters and on her left cheek was a faint scar. He lowered the sphere to the ground and snapped his fingers and the glow on his arms deactivated. The water around the woman dispersed and layed on the ground on her back coughing up water she rolled on to her stomach and she slowly stood up. Hunter walked over to help her up but she held up her hand and stopped him he took a step back and the lady got to her feet. She tilted her head to the right and tiny droplets of water splashed on the straps of her top. She looked around and she fell to her knees bawling loudly she looked at her shaking hands and she started to vomit. Hunter ran over and held her hair back as she barfed a few minutes later Hunter and the lady sat down on the ground sniffling. Hunter stood up and he held out his hand, she took his hand and he pulled her to her feet “Anything’s wrong?” he asked she nodded and said “It’s my fault.” “What’s your fault?” he asked she waved her hands around, “This if it wasn't for my pursuit of power none of this would've transpired.” “What happened here?” asked Hunter the lady chuckled “That's a long story but first my name’s Gwendolyn Elysium princess of this wrecked kingdom and I would like to thank you for killing the troll menace and saving my life.” She said with a curtsy Hunter waved his hands in front of face and said, “Don't mention it I was on a job anyway and when we fought I noticed something off when I didn't answer those questions.” “Yes I was possessed by the troll king on my eighteenth birthday my mother and father the king and queen had two children me and my little brother Atticus on his second birthday about sixty of the kingdom’s armed guards rushed inside the throne room with a woman who was complete covered from head to toe in a red shawl only a pair of red eyes were visible and she came with a prophecy that said that the trolls will rise and be defeated by a person of royal blood and his protector. When the woman was finished my mother and father started to ask her questions which were which one of their children were the savior. She pointed to the both of us and then she was escorted out of the throne room. So for a few years me and my brother trained to protect our kingdom and we received gifts from our parents for our training the gems, my armor, and my great sword with a note that read these will help in the future.” Gwendolyn looked at Hunter's glowing limbs and said “I see that the gems are in your body.” He looked over himself and chuckled “Yeah it happened when you chopped me into pieces.” She shook her head and said, “You are a strange man. Anyway while we trained our bodies and minds my father took a ferry to the blacksmith and were she infused the gems with elemental power and embed the diamond into the sword.” . Gwendolyn walked past Hunter toward her sword and she lifted the blade up with one hand and placed it on her shoulders she took a breath in and out before she finished “So on mine and my brothers eighteenth and sixth birthday respectively we were by the river we were both supposed to read a book about how the gems worked, I finished my huge book and started to lift weights while my brother read from two giant books. A few minutes into my session a three legged, flea ridden, and malnourished dog hobbled over to me it looked at me with lifeless eyes and spat a small drop of white and green phlegm on my arm. The mucus started to burrow itself in my skin painfully I dropped to my knees but I managed to tell my brother to run before I blacked out. When I came to I could only look on in horror as I slaughtered the entire kingdom.” The ground started to shake and a giant slimy muscled arm emerged from the shell and came down toward Hunter and Gwen. They both jumped out of the way as the hand crashed down onto the ground. Then a large white skinned green striped muscled creature emerged from the shell and it stood tall at thirty feet, “DIE!!!” The troll yelled. Gwen she launched herself at the troll with a gust of wind. She grabbed the blade with both hands and with a powerful slash she unleashed four tornados that surrounded the troll on either side. The tornados converged on the troll pulling pieces of it inside and shredding the slime unleashing a geyser of gold. The wind tunnels dispersed and the woman dropped her blade and fell to her knees tears started to stream down her face as she smiled, she turned her head to look at Hunter and said “I have to undo the damage the trolls did to the land.” “How are you going to do that.” She gripped the hilt of her blade and she stood up. “Come stand by me.” Hunter walked over and stood at her side. “Now I need you to float us up.” Hunter nodded and he lifted his hands up the skin on his waist glowed and a huge portion of the ground they were on levitated out of the ground and above the tree line. Over the horizon Hunter saw a wall of water that surrounded an of dead and living trees. “After the slaughter of my kingdom the king used my wind power to seal the island inside a barrier of water and since my brother escaped he set trolls at every place the bracer and belt was located at trying to tie up loose ends and rule.” She looked around and slapped the under side of the blade and the gem deactivated and the water quickly rushed in flooding the entire island. A large rumble sounded and from the water a giant tree sprouted from the drink, a few miles away from the tree a long serpent like creature appeared from the depth and let out a roar. Gwen smiled, “Laura and Tatianna made it out.” “You know them?” Gwen nodded “Yeah Tatianna was my maid and Laura crafted my armor and sword.” Hunter twitched his fingers and below them a two thousand foot tall watch tower was formed out of splintered trees and stone debris. He landed the chunk on top of the roof of the building “So is there anything else you need me to do?” He asked she shook her head, “No with those two's help this place will be just as it was.” Hunter nodded and then jumped off the tower into the raging water below. Gwen stared at his antic with a smile and shake of her head “What a strange, strange man.”

[mst3kproject]

K05/302: Gamera

The amazing thing about the very first Gamera movie is that they meant it.  By the time it died in 1971, the original Gamera franchise had become a joke even to its makers.  The lack of budget and effort were visible on screen, and the inclusion of things like Guiron, or Gamera playing his theme song on Zigra's back, suggest that nobody was taking any of this very seriously anymore.  But five years earlier (only five years) when they made Gamera, they weren't kidding at all.  They really wanted to make a scary kaiju film, and put everything they had into doing so.

The movie starts when a nuclear-armed bomber crashes in the arctic, and its warhead explodes in the wreck – this wakes Gamera, a sixty-metre, fire-breathing, saber-toothed turtle that has been sleeping in the glacier since Atlantis sank all those thousands of years ago.  Gamera begins flying around the world creating havoc, but also saving the life of a turtle-obsessed little boy named Toshio (I watched a version with subtitles, not the American dub that begat the tradition of naming annoying Japanese kids Kenny).  Toshio thereafter becomes convinced that his vanished pet turtle, Chibi, has grown to enormous size and become Gamera, and embarks on a personal crusade to stop the army from killing it.

Fortunately, at least from Toshio's point of view, the army's not having much luck anyway.  Heat won't kill Gamera, not after he already survived an atomic explosion.  Electricity is tried, and fails.  Heavy artillery doesn't even make him mad.  Fire turns out to be what he eats.  They try an experimental 'freeze bomb' to keep him still while they dynamite the hill below him to flip him on his back, but he just flies away.  In the end, there's only one thing they can do, and that's trap the turtle in a rocket and blast him to Mars!

I spent half my review of It Lives by Night complaining that bats aren't as scary as everybody thinks they are.  Now here's Gamera, a movie about a creature that isn't scary at all! Nobody's scared of turtles.  Even people who are terrified of snakes and lizards generally don't mind them, because popular ideology does not associate turtles with anything harmful.  Turtles are proverbially slow and rather helpless, unable to right themselves if flipped on their backs.  Their evolution has sacrificed speed and power for the protection of the cumbersome shell.  Rather than being in any way sources of threat, turtles are often symbolic of the ability to hunker down and weather it.  Making a movie about a monster turtle is, when you think about it, even more absurd than making one about killer bunny rabbits.

The people at Daiei knew this, of course, and the movie goes to some trouble to counter Gamera's general turtle-ness.  Being a turtle, he's not fast and his motion is severely restricted by the shell (I'd also bet that poor Aragaki Teruo, the guy in the suit, had a hell of a sore back at the end of a filming day).  His enormous size helps, but apparently it just wasn't enough in the minds of the writers to really make him scary. That's why they've also given him teeth, including the upward-pointing tusks that are one of his most notable features.  He breathes fire as well as absorbing it, and he flies.  A flying turtle is a very strange idea, and Gamera's way of flying, by spinning and shooting fire out of the arm and leg sockets in his shell, is particularly bizarre.  The only natural turtle feature the movie makes use of is the invulnerable shell.

When I try to imagine what might have inspired somebody to choose a turtle for their monster movie, I draw an almost total blank. In Japanese folklore the turtle is a symbol of stability and longevity, and a guardian of the city of Kyoto.  There are stories about mountain-sized tortoises, but these are not threatening creatures, either.  All I can really come up with is that they wanted something reptilian, to match Toho's Godzilla.  A dinosaur, or even a lizard or crocodile, would have been too Godzilla-like, though, and a snake doesn't lend itself well to a man-in-suit kaiju depiction... that left a turtle, and they had to work with it.

Gamera is a lot scarier-looking in this movie than he is in any of the sequels.  The black and white film helps, making everything look more atmospheric and menacing, but the design of Gamera himself is also slightly different.  It's a more elaborate and detailed suit than in the later films, and more effort seems to have gone into making him pointy, with the claws and teeth and the sharp scales on his back.  He also looks less rubbery here than he would in later movies, although that may be less about the suit and more about the cinematography: Gamera is always lit from near the ground to emphasize his height, and is more likely to attack by night than by day, when he can be seen by firelight.  Whereas in later movies Gamera is treated like a sort of theme park mascot, here shots are set up to make him a genuine monster.  The images of fleeing people being crushed by debris or roasted by Gamera's fire aren't good from an effects standpoint, but they are very explicit about what's happening.

Gamera is still damned odd, though, so it's fortunate that everybody in this movie seems able to take things in stride.  When the ship in the opening sequence sends a message that it has sighted a sixty-metre turtle, nobody in the American air force base bats an eye.  In any sane movie such a thing would be dismissed as a hallucination or mistake, and the Americans would have to see the monster for themselves to be convinced.  In Gamera people think it's weirder that Toshio likes drawing turtles than they do when an actual two-hundred-foot turtle appears in the arctic!  About the only time people react with what seems like an appropriate level of what the fuck astonishment is when they realize Gamera can fly.

The weirdest thing in this entire movie, though, is the opening.  As the movie begins, a number of planes are on their way over the pole, carrying nuclear weapons.  There's only one thing that can possibly be going on here: World War III has begun.  One of the planes crashes in the arctic and frees Gamera, but what happens to the rest we don't know.  They can't have actually made it to the USA to drop their nukes, because Dr. Hidaka is being interviewed in New York shortly afterwards and the city appears quite whole and happy.  It seems everybody has just completely forgotten about the nuclear strike.

By 'everybody' I don't just mean the characters this movie is specifically concerned with, either – I mean the whole damn world, including the people who ordered the attack and the people it was targeted at.  Nobody in the movie ever explicitly blames the USSR but in a movie from 1965 there's really nobody else who could be directly attacking the United States.  Later in the movie, however, the US and the USSR are working together on Z Plan, as if a giant turtle attacking Japan is somehow more important than the cold war suddenly getting hot.  I'm pretty sure that in literally any other movie, the nuclear attack would be important or even central to the plot.  Here it just sort of vanishes.

Finally, I must ask what we are to make of the relationship between Gamera and Toshio.  Actually, 'relationship' is probably the wrong word – they only interact once, when Gamera saves Toshio from falling to his death off the lighthouse.  This appears to be a deliberate act of mercy on Gamera's part, but if so, it's the only evidence of such behaviour in the entire movie.  For the rest of the film, Gamera feeds on energy, stomps around destroying stuff, and flies away from threats, but he never again appears to notice the humans at his feet.  Saving Toshio is also the only time there seems to be any real intelligence or purpose to Gamera's actions.  The rest of the time, he is only an animal trying to survive.

I guess technically, Toshio is in the movie because kids like monster movies and need a child character to identify with, but that's really not enough to justify his presence.  In later Gamera movies, the children are often the ones who actually save the day (as in Gamera vs Viras) or at least have a place, however poorly-justified, in the action (as in Gamera vs Gyaos).  In Gamera, Toshio spends the whole movie chasing after his turtle friend, but it has no effect on the plot besides to keep the kid as an observer in the middle of things.  He is never disabused of the notion that Gamera is his vanished pet, or that the monster means well in spite of all the destruction he is causing.  The movie seems to believe that having introduced Toshio, it needs to somehow keep him around for the entire running time, and therefore makes excuses to do so.

Of course, the real purpose of Toshio's rescue is to put something in reserve for the sequel.  If we hadn't seen Gamera do this in the first movie, him saving the world in Gamera vs Barugon would come totally out of left field.  It's just unfortuante that there's no place for the interaction in this movie's narrative.

Gamera is really just as silly and nonsensical as its own sequels, but the tone is totally different.  Here everything, from Gamera's bizarre ability to fly to his rescue of Toshio to Aoyagi's unrequited crush on Kyoko, is meant to be taken entirely seriously. This is why Gamera comes across as one of the most earnest and sincere films in the series, and seems to have the most respect for its audience as it never talks down to us.  Unfortuantely, it's also among the less memorable of the Gamera movies.  As far as making an impression goes, apparently you can't beat a pug with a knife for a face.

[impvarjack60]

23 The Test

She let out a blood curdling scream as the blade swung to it's final destination, hopefully in a heart chamber. As much as I hated what she has become, I didn't want her to suffer, well not too much anyhow. As the blade neared her chest, there would be no way to stop it now, the deed had already been done, and the people of the Ark would be free.

Once the blade was a smidge above her heart, it exploded, sending shrapnel everywhere. The shards nicked me all over, including the face. She however was untouched, and still very much alive. The impact blew me off her and onto the floor, the doors swung open and guards had me in their grasp. I had failed, and now I would probably die, or worse.

"Congratulations, 'King' Michael, you passed! I'm so happy for you, sweetheart!!" She ran up to me and gave me a big kiss and a hug, then when she backed off she was stomping her feet, pumping her fists in the air, and sounding just like the excited little girl she used to be. "You shoulda' seen your face!, you were all like, 'GRRRRRRR!!!', and so soon too, I love you!!" My jaw was on the the floor, what the fuck just happened here? "Queen Anna, what's going on here? I just tried to murder you, and you're standing there looking like you just won the lottery!" "Oh, you can just shit-can that Queen stuff, and in a way, I just did!" Her voice went into that childish high squeak. She could barely contain her excitement.

"Am I on crazy pills?, ANNA, I JUST TRIED TO KILL YOU!!"

"No Prince Michael, you sacrificed your life for your people, and saved them from a tyrant. Like any strong, selfless leader would." Her voice was now stoic, and somber. "Oh, shit,... this was another test." "Guards, let him go, and clear the room." "Are you sure that is wise, your highness?" "Please do as I instruct." "By your command." Then she held her hand up to her mouth and whispered; "Battlestar Galactica stuff,... pretty cool huh?" The room cleared, and we were alone.

"My God, Anna. This has to be one of the most elaborate ruses in human history, why did you go though all this?"

"We had to be sure, Michael. Keep in mind there were no battles for you to win, no countries to be conquered, no dragons to be slain, and no Excalibur to be pulled from a stone. You were a mess, Prince Michael, and now look at you! You gave up your life for people you barely know, to save them from the same horrors they prayed to be rescued from. You delivered them from evil." "But why you?" "Who would you have the most problem killing, Michael? A complete stranger, or me?" "But I watched you BEAT people!" "Same shield technology as this necklace, he didn't feel a thing." She touched a button on the center of it and a slight shimmer appeared briefly over her body. "All actors Michael, you said we should put on a play, what do you think of our performance?" "I RAPED YOU!, do you hear me? I RAPED YOU! I don't know if I can ever get over that." "Rape usually refers to an unwilling victim." "Oh my God Anna, you enjoyed that?!" "Well, um,... I'm sorry Michael, I do remember some of the porn you watched. Plus the fact that you are totally buff right now." She started running her fingers up my arms, then she gently wiped the blood from the cut on my face, and tasted it as she stepped back.

"Do you also remember how I avoided any porn that reminded me of you?! I couldn't bear the thought of treating you that way." "None the less- I still liked it- at least consider breaking out that animal again." "Anna, I don't know if I can fully recover from this, I plunged a knife into you in a murderous fervor." "Yes,... for all the right reasons." "This is going to take some time." "I know, but how do you feel right now, after the fact? I don't see you drowning in tears right now." My God! She was right!, I should be in full blow meltdown mode right now. Deep breath. "So, partners then?" It's all I could think of at the moment. "Yes." "Ugh.... I can't help but love you." "And I have always loved you."

Kisses, hugs, joy. They would slowly return. Once again, another life changing event. But I have some mighty big shoes to fill, and this is not over yet.

__________________________________________________

I spent the night in my room. Anna was camped out in the room beside mine. She wanted to be close, just not in the same room as I. Truthfully, I was all for this idea. We needed some space, just not too much space. We went down to the kitchen in the morning, it was all medieval looking, disguising the replicator. Breakfast was kinda' somber, but it was time for some questions.

"So, how was all this planned out?" "We had a few meetings when you were,......away. They voted for me to be Queen." "But why a monarchy? It seems kinda' old fashioned, and tyrannical, as demonstrated over the last few days." "That's the thing, Michael. When things go bad, monarchies suck, and history is full bat shit crazy monarchs. But when the King and Queen are benevolent, they have the best track record of any government style in history. We have done some research while you were away." "Speaking of away, just how long was I gone?" "Four months." "You said it would be three, and Olaf said I was out for eighteen." "Well,.... we had some problems getting this joint ready, and they said they could tack on an extra four centimeters to your height." She was squirming when she said this. "Your totally into this beefcake thing, aren't you?" "I'm sorry, Michael. This is what I'm physically attracted to." She was once again running her fingers slowly up my arm, with a look of allure in her eyes. "So,... You didn't like me before?" "Did I ever once appear to not like you, until you went off the deep end? I loved you then, I love you now. I'm just more attracted to you in this form. Your brain chose this form- ya know- the one with the freckles, and the tiny breasts?" "OK, far enough. Just keep in mind, this is not my ideal self." "Good point, this isn't about you, it's about them. When you look at yourself in the mirror, think about how the people will look at you, this is to keep them satisfied, and me?, just as a bonus. OK?"

She is becoming a treasure trove of wisdom, at the age of eight months. Ten years from now, she will be a formidable queen.

"I guess I'm not in any position to argue, I should be swinging on a rope at noon." "And instead, we have a coronation to plan, King Michael, and a wedding!" "Hopefully not here!" "Yea, speaking of which, we'll be going back home for a month or so while Castle Greyskull here gets a makeover." "How much say do I get in the remodeling?" "Practically none, I'm going to be the Queen, Hunky Man." With that she sat in my lap, and stroked my stubbly face, while batting those giant lashes at me. "Deal, but I want a large study, somewhere where my big speakers can breathe. And a sign on the door that says; 'No Girz Aloud'." "Deal, shake on it?" "Done and done." "There's some things I want to show you before we leave, come on!" So we go out to the back green space, it was all fenced in meadow, off to the side was an outbuilding, a stable. She was practically skipping out to it. "Whatcha' think, huh?! Can I bargain or what?!" It had stalls for eight horses. Wow, she could sell ice cubes to Inuits. "I told them Royalty simply had to have horses." "I suppose I'll be learning to ride?" "Damn straight!" "But so will you." "I was born to ride." That you were, Princess. "Got one more thing to show you." She took me to a large set of doors in the courtyard. "Ya ready?" "Hit me." She opened the doors,... Bicycles! A dozen of them, even had one in my frame size, which was now quite large. These were the lightest bikes I've ever felt. When I went to pick mine up to get it out of the rack, I practically threw it in the air, I guess it weighed two kilos. "Thank you, Anna." "I know how much you wanted one,..and after all you been thru..." God, how absolutely selfless can one person be? Ten hours ago I was plunging a knife into her. "I'm assuming you don't know how to ride one of these things?" "Way ahead of you, Silly Buns." She hopped on one and took off around the courtyard. "I've been practicing." "So I see." She didn't want me showing her up when I got back, clever girl. "We've got one more thing to attend to before we split,... Olaf!" "Yes, m' lady." "Summon the cast." "By your command." Damn, even Olaf is on a leash. "Let's go to the balcony." So we went back into Drearyland, up the steps and down the hall to the balcony. All of the people involved in the test showed up, in there tattered costumes. Anna shouted over rail; "All hail King Michael!" "Hail, King Michael!" went two hundred voices, booming off the courtyard walls, followed by cheers and clapping, I so wanted to cry, but I can't. I must show strength. I am however, finding it easier to hold back emotions now. So I just waved- but I have to wonder- is this what they wanted? It seems like it. They all went thru with this charade, now they sing my praise. Months ago, when I gave my speech, I figured the most authority I would get would be heading some committee. Now look at me, waving at my loyal subjects, who can't wait to led in some meaningful direction, at the dawn of a new civilization. By the future King.

Then the Princess made an announcement.

"Once the castle has received it's rightful decor, there will be a big party. Everyone in the Habitat is invited, and the drinks are on me!" Once again, cheers erupted. "Please, go back to your homes and be at peace, I will be sure to reward each and every one of you for your sacrifice in the time of Prince Michael's trial, and from the bottom of our hearts, we thank you! Long live King Michael!" "LONG LIVE KING MICHAEL!!" It was absolutely thunderous, I'm assuming by design. we waved to the crowd and they disbanded. It was time for us to go. "Let's put on some riding clothes, shall we?" So we got some proper attire for the ride to the Pulaski house, it was time to go home...