#i just want ppl to see my anders okay

[whiskingskin]

Yall do I post chapter one of my Dragon age fic... I'm still writing the story itself, but happy chappy onesie is donesie and I want people to witness my nasty little story,,,, a dilemma

[prototumblinguist]

Okay I'm gonna try to post a sort of multi-threaded set of tweets i made

Study concept: ppl reading usernames aloud, selectively choosing which part to refer to the user with; eg with my sunmuffin42, it could go sun, muffin, or sunmuffin. 3 syllables are often dispreferred from what i've seen tho—i think esports/speedrun commentating is a good data source (Also prob would never include 42)

also it might bear mentioning that another facet is how we choose to refer to people by a nickname or screen name: Jason Terry (USian basketball player) we'd often call the JET but also often just say Jason Terry—when do nicknames replace full names?

i'm looking around to see if there are esports corpora out there and i found an ACL paper and it mentions the commentators with their nicknames based on their screen names this way to introduce this person is quite telling of this! Anders AND "Anders" ! both are used, but one is the IRL name and the other is specifically the name of the person according to their screen name! (link to paper: https://t.co/eaZrPYKDHY Game-changing event definition and detection in an esports corpus (Olshefski 2015) in ACL Proceedings)

also, like, how much does 3 syllables as a generalization work?

and of course, non english things—commentating in Korean, what part of a screen name would you choose, and how does it pattern compared to what we see in various Englishes?

And a comment from someone on Twitter (idk if they want to be cited directly on the tumblz but you can go find this thread on my Twitter (sunmuffin42)):

this is interesting! I feel like there'd be some effect of familiarity too, like you're probably more likely to read more of the username if you're less familiar with the user, which I guess is a lot like normal nicknames, so it's nicknames for pseudonyms

To which i said: definitely! the fact that all of a sudden we have anonymous/unknown people being talked about with something that is probably not their IRL name and the names are being read ALOUD makes for something that isn't quite "novel" as such but this is a cool novel register and domain

[abbeyfangirl]

dragon age: all characters (companions)

I’ve been in this fandom for a hot minute now and I want to update my opinions on characters :)

Origins

Alistair: super sweet dude who literally is not the stereotypicalchantryguyfightme. He’s a great example of healthy masculinity and I totally wish he was bi because I have an entire essay on that— also: he’s a poc! His mum was brown. In game he’s got dark features. if you really want a blond/blue-eyes/white guy, make your warden that. or accept that brown people can be noble and moral. or just draw cailan, idk. just because BioWare whitewashes doesn’t mean you should.

Leliana: someone hug my singing girlfriend before I crush her under with my own hugs. Also: nugs. Yes! Shoes. Yes! She likes how I style my hair? YES!! I honestly think she’s super duper and it pisses me off whenever someone’s like: yeah she enjoys killing people and the Game. ok. and michel de chevin willingly participated in genocidal marches through the alienage he grew up in with his elvhen mum. 

Morrigan: dirty swamp witch that i stan and also have a v big crush on. tiddies. Have a son with a GW so we can raise him with our tiddies out in the forest. she’s also white-passing, as her father was chasind and all people we’ve seen that are chasind are black. therefore, she is biracial. therefore, poc can be goths and don’t shy away from giving morrigan a darker skintone. if the devs had of been thinking, she’d have a darker skintone.

Zevran: Actually is the best romance, I think. Loves consent, therefore I will stan him so hard my skull cracks a little. Also: he is a very brown boy and if he’s white in da4 I’m seriously going to throw all canon out the fucking window. genuinely a good person who needs to be told so. 

Wynne: grandma who only likes my friends who go to church. but also super sweet and I’d rest my head on her bosom (in a platonic way omg ZEVRAN)

Sten: angry quiet boi. the bestest boi. I totally would give him a kitten for a gift and bake him cookies. Thicc softie. I think if I had DA:O and i knew how to use mods i would mod the fuck outta him. sorry.

Sha(y)le: who’s gender? idk her. See also: fuck birds and authority. pound ur ass into the ground you feathery meatbag little shits. fuck songbirds.

Dog: such a good boi. thicc. thinks Alistair is a whiny fuck and is Morrigan’s only friend. love him. he’s the cutest companion. bet.

Ohgren: honestly forgot about him bcc he’s such a shitbag. also: he could’ve been a really cool addiction recovery type but NOPE. probably would have a trump shirt in a modern au and would catcall wlw and hit mlm. no thanks.

Awakening

Anders: he acts like rlly straight but he’s so gay I can smell it. also he’s rlly cute and fun and I love him so much.

Justice: MAYBE i’M selF CONSCious OF THE twitchING. is the friend that genuinely doesn’t get dick jokes but is ur 110% ride or die.

Nathaniel Howe: honestly is sort of a white knight/neck beard a little, but it’s kind of charming with his whole velanna m’lady?? grump boi. annoying soul patch that I’d mod out SO FAST—

Sigrun: would have ROMANCED the FUCK out of her. why she even entertains the idea of fucking with ohgren makes me realize most of the writers are dumbfucks.png. peppy little emo. 12/10 would die if she kissed my cheek teasingly.

Ohgren: why. why. why. I’d have brought Shayle over. Maybe Zev? Definitely Dog.

Velanna: she was written to be an annoying feminist and you can tell but I deadass am a kindred spirit with her bcc I too am deadpan annoyed with Thedas’ general population too. love her. Would’ve loved to romance her. She’d totally be one of those who’d get all tsundere and be like “n-no i hate you” *kisses the fuckin soul out of you then blushes so hard she’s now a tomato*

Dragon Age II

Anders: fuck the cops. i don’t care. fuck the cops. (vine reference). also: do i hate him for blowing up the chantry that would eventually annul a huge collection of his people? no. read dalishious’s meta on Anders. v intriguing. didn’t they retcon the fuck out of the reported deaths too? like there was like eight Templars and Elthinia in there. Templars killed more “abominations” in a day than Anders in the game canon—

Aveline: initially thought she was fine and then realized she’s shit to my lil brother and I will fucking clap her ginger ass. See also: whorephobia isn’t a joke so fuck off with treating Isabela badly, you tit.

Bethany: sunshine. Literal sunshine. I feel my freckles grow in her presence and i love it. she’s my little baby sister and I’d slam that ogre so fuckin hard before it touched either twin.

Carver: there has to be a mod where both twins survive. I love them both to bits. My babies. carver is my bitter, angry little brother and I can relate because I too am very angry and would totally clap my own ass. hes so genuine and I don’t get the competition between Beth and Carver. Like, both are fuckin stellar in different ways. In this essay I will—

Fenris: honestly, I don’t get the general hate between him and Anders. Fenris’ main arc should’ve been a recovery arc, not drunken moping and revenge. he deserves better. give him a soft sweater instead of his spikes and let him love himself as much as I love him for MAKERS SAKE. like when you really think about their relationship, it could’ve been an eye-opener for fenris and finally some legit sympathy for anders. but we all know that if they had of teamed up that Meredith would’ve been dead before the end of Act 1 so.

Isabela: whorephobia is not a joke. oversexualizing your only appearing brown woman is so poorly written. how about we appreciate her and her lovely bosoms but also let people tease her about her heart of gold? her innate understanding of freedom? instead of just a wave of dick? please?? can we give her some pants for when she fights? can we accept that i fall for rogues who hate themselves?? fuck. also whomever draws her x femHawke x Merrill literally is after my own heart.

Merrill: my fucking babygirl MARRY ME. Fenris could’ve been her older brother type, but NO. she and Isabela should’ve been canonical gfs instead of Isabela/Fenris (no shaming the pairing tho!!). I love how she’s written as neurodivergent. V nice. Sometimes I just look her up and cry because she’s fucking everything. Also: she’s in the Dalish origin and she’s far from being white. Why did they make the most innocent/naïve character really white? hmmmm.

Sebastian: whew that boy. Would totally be that annoying Mormon at your door but you still let him in bcc he’s super sweet. Also: huge ass bible thumper and should get his head slap because you said the maker loved all his children why do you defend a complicit old hag you annoying attractive fuck—

Varric: totally is a bard and the devs couldn’t handle the idea of him being one bcc it might make him look less straight. is the only grey morality person I don’t want to fucking bash in with a fry pan. he sees people and I like that, but you totally know he’s siding with mages every time bcc him and Anders are like besties. I’m sorry. I don’t make the rules. “Professional Younger Brother”.

Tallis: I know nothing about her but she seems okay. I think she was an escaped slave and honestly? Fucking props. Spy on a shitting organization, idk what you’re doing, but your VA was that cool lesbian from SPN so I think ur okay?

Inquisition

Blackwall: Redemption Arc 101. Love him to bits. Sad dad bunwall. good man. actually atoned for his sins by actively becoming a good person. his initial design is 80% hotter im so sorry but so not.

Cassandra: was way browner in the last game. would romance the fuck outta her. I love me a butch lady who melts at my dorky recitation of poetry. BioWare is a coward. also is the worst choice for divine. but not a bad person. could use some more guidance or get her ass whipped by a dalish elf about religion or a circle mage kid whos like “yeah bud i didn’t ask for the templars to whip my ass everyday for existing.”

The Iron Bull: I think the Qunari/Vashoth were a little based off black people (the whole anti blackness thing where ppl are scared of them bcc of whatever reason) and it pisses me off that he had a weird ass dubcon thing with Dorian in banter. It doesn’t make sense— he’s an A+++ dom and would not jump straight in role play without at least checking in at first like wtf BioWare.

Cole: his mother was chasind so he’s like not supposed to be that white? or like biracial? albino? idk. love him to bits tho. He’s neurodivergent and I deadass love him. romancing him? idk. I see why ppl think it’s fuckin nasty but also like as a writer I’d age him the fuck up so fast before my inquisitor even THOUGHT about that. like idk. I’m down with him being a sweet little bro character tho. he’s a babe. love him.

Sera: had the worst fucking writer I’ve ever seen and I willingly read the twilight saga twice by a shit ass racist white lady who okay’d pedophilia. like. Fuck you Kristjanson suck your own dick you fuck. had the worst options in regards to speak to her. has a thicc case of internalized racism that literally most of the fandom just loves to use against her. my lesbian neurodivergent queen. Would write a thousand fix it fics for her. Love her to bits. im gay.

Varric: I haven’t played DA2 so i don’t get why everyone wants to romance him but like. a dwarf romance? yes please. Idk he reminds me of my uncle so I only see him as fun uncle material. Deadass should adopt Cole and Merrill and co parent with Blackwall for Sera. dads? fuck yeah. love me some wholesome, present fathers.

Dorian: is a gay stereotype that I love/hate so much. and he’s also just as bad about being a creep bcc he sexualizes qunari men (in banter). I attribute that to shit writing tho. I want to protect him from all the “omg gay best friend!” people. he’d clearly be that tired gay that wouldn’t give a diddly damn about ur het romance. wanna talk about politics? he’s ur guy/gay.

Solas: “me, an intellectual:”. I don’t hate him, but I’m not about him. He comes off as mysterious and suave (which he totally is) but I deadass would not save him from himself because he’s a racist, exclusionist eggshell. idk. not my cup of tea, but I can totally see the appeal. And he’s interesting, I’ll totally say that. “I think the Dalish are garbage but they made you” is not a compliment. it’s so offensive. and such bait for “quirky girls” which I’m no fan of. Would be Achilles and let Patroclus (Lavellan in his case) die before he realized how his pride is literally a waste of time. If he gets a redemption arc I hope Lavellan gets to slap him before getting him to teach all about ancient Arlathan and show that the Evanuris weren’t all total dicknozzles. (Aka I really have a hard time believing that they’d be slavery cult things. especially since they’ve compared elves to indigenous ppl, Jews and the Romani.)

Vivienne: it’s so racist that they’d make a black woman be pro-slavery. That’s such internalized racism. She could’ve been the cool ass “educate yourself first before you speak, fool” ice lady, but NO. the devs could’ve kept the “Templars are a tool that I proudly can mandate” and the “circles are very good education” and we. Could. Have. Romanced. Her. Like. Fuck. Sake. I just wanna give her a hug and say “love yourself omg!!” and not even in a romantic way. Also: she and morrigan should not have been so antagonistic towards each other. I’d expect them to have great respect for each other, as they both moved up in the world through hardwork and very little help. They could learn different magic from each other too and still maintain that rival respect “oh you” mood. Sidenote: probably the cooler option for Divine. if her approval is high enough she’ll love and be loyal to you forever and i can’t see her agenda being bad. she improves the circles exponentially and tells all the antis to suck her pretty painted toes.

Josephine: an actual disney princess. romanced her my first playthrough. I love her so much. she just makes me so happy. And she’s like: “Integrity, Loyalty, peace. That is what it means to be a GREY WARDEN good fucking person.” she’s the person who would let you hold her hand if you got anxious and she’d be that person who shouldered the whole group project with finesse and poise and would probably lie for everyone as to not be mean. i love josie. her and leliana’s relationship is so cute, too. whether it’s romantic or not: women supporting women.

Leliana: if you leave her hardened you must hate her. why. she becomes so against herself. i like how shes feminine and lighthearted because that’s so powerful-- to remain hopeful when the world is hopeless. (its hard to know when to soften her/harden her so i get it but. google it. she deserves to be happy and sweet again.)

Cullen: uwu war criminal with shit ass “redemption arc” that was actually a half-assed (at BEST) recovery arc. Recovery isn’t linear, it isn’t pretty, and even the broken need to be told they are wrong in order to heal right. Like I’m offended by that bullshit. I’ve had to do some mental health recovery in the past and unlearning lots of toxic ideologies— which I’m still unlearning— and it bothers me that he gets an easy pass because he’s hot. It’s one thing if you like Cullen, it’s another thing if you hold him accountable.

[waroftheposes]

okay heres a good one and tbh i dont have an answer for this one but 1) who’s more romantic? 2) who usually plans their dates? 3) if they adopted a kid, who would be the cool dad and the strict dad?

1) I think Ander is more like romantic in like a tragic romantic hero kind of way? Like I feel like their level of romanticism (word choice??? it’s 1 AM) is very different but they’re both romantic in like non traditional ways. Like ok Ander just had like that whole “I’m going to come see you every day for 10 minutes for months” thing and the, “I only wanna be with you,” and he was also like “I don’t want you to suffer because of me so you can fuck other ppl it’s totally chill” and “I don’t want you to suffer because of me so I’m gonna break up with you while breaking my own heart.” Meanwhile Omar has all the pet names and the “hey pretend like you’re playing video games while I suck your dick” and the “my boyfriend doesn’t care about me since he asked me to fuck other ppl which breaks my heart so I’m gonna drown my sorrows in self destructive ways” but also “I will take care of my boyfriend of a few months while he goes through cancer even if it means not graduating.” Basically both dumbasses who have a lot of love and have no idea how to express it. 

2) Let’s see probably Omar and I will say why. During the Halloween episode Omar like made his costume in a day. A whole Rocky Horror costume with wig and make up and everything and Ander was just like “let’s get some horror masks” like one of these ppl put a lot of thought into things and the other one is like lol let’s wing it

3) both would be the cool dad that child would have no discipline, this is why they shouldn’t have kids, both of them had super overbearing and controlling fathers and I think they’ll go the opposite direction and just be like too chill. That child will grow up WILD and also SPOILED. 

[greensconnor]

i’m asking about your dragon age characters

molly i would KILL for u im ur personal hitman now

anyway i said my city now because the entire bioware writing team sucks shit xoxo and i’m so much smarter than all of them but also fully incapable of having a normal amount of ocs for anything (see: the time i made 20 rwby ocs in less than two weeks) so i have. five worldstates here r some assorted thoughts

uhhh so the worldstates r as follows

eira mahariel (two-handed berserk/champ spec), rhett hawke (two-handed berserk spec), alas lavellan (mage knight enchanter spec), romanced alistair/fenris/dorian respectively

shiv tabris (dual wield duelist/assassin spec), radella “rads” hawke (mage spirit healer spec), kat adaar (two-handed reaver spec), romanced morrigan/isabela/cassandra respectively because im a pc gamer and i think i should be able to date whatever video game woman i like because im infinitely better than cishet men

this world state said yeah i respect mens rights. mens rights to shut the fuck up

twins bronson (sword/shield reaver spec) & bryant cousland (archer ranger spec), carmine hawke (archer assassin spec), syracuse trevelyan (dual wield tempest spec), romanced zevran/anora/josephine/bull. if ur wondering how that works my city now and the warden, hawke and the inquisitor should all meet and so they do because i Said So

riva amell (mage arcane warrior/battlemage spec), graham “gray” hawke (mage force spec), hellathen “hela” lavellan (archer assassin spec); romanced cullen/anders and later blackwall because hawke only likes men who will break his heart. hela doesn’t have a romance because she’s literally 20. who let her lead the inquisition (me it was me). also it should be noted the version of cullen i have in my head only vaguely resembles actual cullen because i write better than dragon age writers ever could and i gave him an Actual Cohesive Narrative and he gets bullied relentlessly for being scrawnier than his mage boyfriend

malien “mal” surana (mage spirit healer/keeper spec), jules hawke (sword/shield reaver spec), ash adaar (mage rift spec), romanced leliana/merrill/krem because i should have been able to kiss krem and its a Crime that i am not allowed to

knight enchanter is a Very op specialization and by Very op i mean it makes a mage with their built-in low constitution stats able to solo the biggest baddest dragon in the game on nightmare mode in under five minutes so like. alas lavellan fist fights dragons for fun send tweet

i think lavellans should be able to hit ppl with bricks for all the shit they endure. thus solas gets pranked by mahariel and alas by which i mean they just tip buckets of water onto him from the rookery

kat might be my only competent inquisitor but she did also try to knock out the right hand of the divine and attempt to gap even tho there’s fucky magic burning up her hand so does she have a brain cell? you decide

also its fantasy land and i do what i want so kat has blue/gold sectoral heterochromia

gray “mage rights” hawke is best friends with fenris which surprises literally everyone. their friendship started because they got into a fist fight and then they were like okay i respect u now. hawke is like hey fenris give me ur sword i have a fun trick to show u [uses his sword as a foci to zap carver in the ass with lightning]

i am Always thinking abt like how cullen could have been one man anti-chantry propaganda machine if he hadn’t so blatantly been shoehorned into every game past origins so anyway bioware forgot about a wholeass moon i can write what i like. [holds up cullen by the scruff of his stupid armor] not only are you bisexual you are also a bottom

i also Hate the whole uwu mage haters get fixed by romancing a mage

unlocked secret dialogue option where my inquisitors verbally cuss out dorian’s dad instead of whatever sympathetic narrative the writers were going for cuz its bullshit.

riva is a showoff and a Menace about being as good as he is because he unabashedly loves being a mage and hes like oooh look at me im sexy i dont need to use my hands to cast magic because i’m just that good ;)) and you know what. hes right.

gray, on the other hand, does Not want to be mage. he wants to be a druffalo farmer and retire in the hinterlands and be left the fuck alone. unfortunately he is gay and has one brain cell and terrible, terrible taste in men. ribbed relentlessly for this by riva (altho does he have room to talk hes been hung up on cullen since he was like 13)

shiv is trans n kieran is the result of doing the dark ritual with her wife and he looks a Lot like shiv (dark skin pointed ears, shock-white hair) and morrigan always just Assumed she dyed it or did something magic with it so seeing their kid come out like that was a WEIRD time for her

leliana almost Murdered by cassandra in worldstate 5 because the warden is Actually There The Whole Time, but its been 10 years, mal’s cut off all her hair and gotten full facial tattoos and she’s like “no one will know its me its fine” and she’s right. she gets away with it. only cullen like, Knows, because he knew her before the blight but he doesnt have a death wish n he like. will Not piss her off

shes dalish by birth n she was stolen from her clan by templars and thus is vehemently anti-circle and anti-chantry in general

uhhh the vallaslin (elf face tattoos) of my 4 dalish characters are:

eira = ghilan’nain (chose em cuz shes rlly interested in the navigation aspect of the goddess)

alas = falon’din (god of the dead n he picked them because he’s Also the god of fortune and alas is like tee hee fun but also he can and will kill u if u fuck with him so yk its fitting)

hela = june (god of the craft bc she likes to Make things but june is also the god who taught the elves 2 hunt and hela is. a hunter.)

mal = elgar’nan (allfather/god of vengeance bc. she is Vengeful. she is Angry. but yk fucking with shem politics and fucking their divine is like. mal may have little a retribution. as a treat.) yes she has the full half-face solid colour tattoo she does NOT fuck around.

bronson and bryant r not genetically identical but they Look similar enough 2 anyone who doesn’t know them well enough 2 play spot the distance. anora and bronson think this is a super fun game to play, especially when nobles realize they’ve swapped out the king but they’re too nervous to say anything

eira mahariel has two hands. one is for holding hands with alistair and the other is for throttling elven gods, apparently. she’s killed one before so solas she’s coming for your bitch ass next. watch urself.

speaking of eira and alistair are married thru dalish tradition and humans don’t recognize it n alistair loves 2 re-propose to her with random things. he’ll just pick up like. a bit of cheese and be like “marry me ;)” and she’s like GASP but whatever will the chantry say!!!! all of their friends r sick of them

“vhenan if you love me bring me a sword” “you think i could do better than a sword made out of space rock?” “:)”

eira is my youngest hero at 18 at the start of her game and kat is my oldest at 32 at the start of her game.

none of my hawkes are under six foot. rhett is the tallest (6′8″) and rads is the shortest (6′2″).

syracuse trevelyan would have been the Perfect inquisitor if he were not a pretty boy himbo and a gay bastard who does Most Things just to spite his parents.

[corypheus pointing at syracuse’s visage in his crystal orb thingo] i want that twink obliterated

i love the companions from older games return thing i truly do so i make it a point for Every companion to return in inquisition so the gang rlly is all here because i am a Slutte for found family

i lie in my keep worldstates because i dont want to choose between hawke and alistair during here lies the abyss but i never make him king and every time i play inquisition and cole has the wicked grace line it makes me Scream. alistair baby im so sorry i did this to you but i didnt actually do this to you

yes this is my everyone lives au but like. all the time. i have never left hawke in the fade and i do not intend to.

fuck whatever nonsense about wardens not being able 2 have kids. by sheer divine power (me) anora and bryant have three daughters; eleanor, sabina & cecelia n both bronson and zevran make Excellent uncles because i think anora deserves good things because i’m tired of bioware being like women bad, actually,

so like most of the time i have the warden & hawke turning up after the move to skyhold n then staying on, with the exception of bryant, carmine & mal. mal is as mentioned previously just There the whole time with her girlfriend. bryant steps in as king of ferelden w/ interests in closing the big hole in the sky spewing demons in2 his kingdom yk. carmine shows up because she wants to help & she wants protection for bethany but she outright says she’d rather die than be inquisitor so cassandra is shit out of luck.

“CHANGE HER MIND VARRIC” “she once doubled down on insisting amaranth was a shade of blue because she didn’t want to admit to being wrong. no one’s changing her mind seeker”

alas is the middle child of eight and is thus very good with children and also bossing around people older than him. 2 of his older siblings come to the inquisition when stuff in wycome has been settled

i left ash with the basic canon background with Some variation (he grew up under the qun and left of his own free will when his magic was discovered n he realized he couldn’t take living as a saarebas

kat on the other hand was raised tal-vashoth and has bounced around basically all over thedas and leads her own merc company when the conclave blows up. she also speaks multiple languages. is there a language she doesn’t speak? probably not

just realized how long this got so im gonna like. stop my general rambling now but lmao yeah theres some basics. waves hands.

[sulkybbarnes]

My god how everyone hates ander all of a sudden and says he doesn’t deserve omar like wtf calm down bitches. He’s a teenager, a human being, he’s gonna fuck up. Not saying it was right to „cheat“ but he immediately regrets and tells omar and learns from his actions. They are in a very complicated spot and they still communicate and make it work. Some ppl are so quick to judge it drives me crazy

Okay I’m going to ignore your tone and “calm down bitches” because otherwise I wouldn’t bother with this ask tbh, but let’s say you caught me on a bad day. 

No one is hating on Ander. I literally haven’t seen a single post hating on him or calling him names as you have just generously done towards the people rightfully criticising his behaviour. If anything, I’ve mostly seen posts trying to excuse what he did or justify it like you just did. Being a teenager isn’t a free pass to fucking up and hurting everyone around you, and if it excuses messing up then it surely doesn’t excuse not apologising for it. And although cheating is a red line for me personally, I would have still let it go had it been handled differently in the show. Elite had Ander cheating, and Omar taking the blame for it by virtue of being closeted. I don’t know how old you are or what sort of experience (if any) you have with lgbt+ issues, but telling closeted people they’re not worth loyalty or commitment is violent and increases feelings of guilt and shame. I talked about it here if you’re interested to read it. No one is denying it’s a complicated dynamic that they have, but once again that doesn’t excuse nor justify cheating. And it sure af doesn’t excuse Omar taking the blame for it. 

I, as a queer brown woman who’s in a situation shittier than Omar’s, have every right to be upset about the character I see myself in getting treated this way. There are millions of people across the world who are closeted and in dangerous situations, and yet there’s next to no representation of it in media. So you can maybe understand why it’s upsetting to see Omar get cheated on, and then take the blame for it with the whole “I understand why you did it, I want you to be happy” without once being allowed any anger or negative feelings about it. Especially when keeping in mind that this happens directly after Omar’s father had a stroke and Omar is in a terrible mindset. 

I haven’t made a single post regarding El*te after watching the new season precisely because I didn’t want to have this type of conversation, yet here we are anyway. If you want to excuse your fave’s behaviour and blindly love a ship without handling it critically then that’s your business, but don’t come into my inbox and talk down to me for perceiving things differently than you do.

[sophygurl]

Okay, time for me to try and remember all the stuff I wanted to make sure and say about my lovely time at WisCon 43 this past weekend. 

Generally, I was just so pleased to once again get to extrovert all over the place in a space filled with amazing people. I got to hang out in my adjoining room full of my pals where we got to touch base with one another between running off to do other things and download our days to one another each evening. I got to enjoy several nice meals with friends I rarely get to see and acquaintances that I admire and respect. I got to have fascinating conversations with combinations of friends, acquaintances, and strangers in the lobby and at parties and in the hot tub. I got to sit on panels with intelligent and creative people with all different perspectives. I got to show off fun outfits and feast my eyes on everyone else’s cool shit and do the smile-and-wave at people I only see once a year even if we never got the chance to actually sit down and talk. I got to meet lots of new people and have adding frenzies on twitter and just generally delight to my heart’s content in awesome smart nerdy people who are also feminists with intersectional leanings - many of whom were also disabled and/or queer in a variety of ways. This is all what I just adore about WisCon so much. And it did not disappoint. 

Being my 10th WisCon, I have stopped being utterly shocked that people might know/remember me. But I’m still a little bit amazed and delighted by it - especially when it comes from folks who I admire a lot and also have not spoken to more than once or twice. I know some people are just better at remembering and recognizing people than I am? But it still never fails to impress me!

I was a little less schedule-y with myself this year than usual. Which is not to say that I didn’t have full written schedules of all the things I wanted to do (planning is my favorite of my OCD symptoms so...). But I was a lot more flexible about doing things like walking in late to a panel because I got excited to sit outside and talk to someone I ran into in the halls beforehand or leaving a panel early if I felt like I wanted to take my time getting to the next thing. I may have still written down all of the things I wanted to be doing in any given time slot and prioritized them in order - BUT I played it by ear at each time and often did a totally different thing. lol

I still did lots of panels! In fact, I find I get to so many panels that I don’t spend as much time just doing hang-out activities as much as I’d like because there is only so much time in a day. I once again never made it to the trans/genderqueer/non-binary space and only went to the disability space the one time for the organized dinner. Ah, maybe next year!

I also still took notes during the panels I went to, but not as copiously as usual, and my handwriting is getting worse all the time so we’ll see how/if my panel write-ups go this year. 

Getting my new walker the day before the con made a huge difference! It’s been two years since my previous walker broke down and I for sure noticed the difference in how much easier it was for me to get around to have one again. 

On the other end of things, I have really gotten used to my hospital bed and having to sort out how to sleep in a regular bed again was an adventure in positioning various cushions and pillows and blankets around and requiring more lidocaine for nerves that got bungled up. But it worked(ish). 

I also broke the toilet in our room. As in, neither plunging nor snaking did the trick and the maintenance guy had to take our toilet apart and cart it off and put a different one in it’s place. The replacement toilet was not currently in use for reasons that soon became obvious - lots of gurgling noises and self-flushing going on. But at least it flushed! 

A few more specific things:

I found a pair of hot pink denim capri’s at the clothing swap that I’m excited to try out! 

I discovered that my habit of suggesting lots of panel descriptions is more of a thing than I realized. Like, I knew I wrote a lot - I just didn’t realize how much more than the other average con-goer that was. I can’t decide if I should be more embarrassed or pleased/proud of this? But either way, it’s not going to stop me and I already have a huge list of ideas to write up for next year, so. 

Only made it to one party, but glad I got to that one. I find I don’t have the physical energy for dance parties anymore and have never been a huge fan of the sit around and make small talk parties, but the Secret Superhero party that Alexandra Erin and co. throw every year is a good one because 1) they give people Stuff To Do which helps cover for all manner of social awkwardness and 2) there’s already built-in a few people I know and can reliably socialize with a little bit so I have less of that tendency to walk in - peek around - see no one I know (or only see ppl I know already talking to other people) - get intimidated - and leave. 

Had planned to go to a lunch meeting for people to yell about The Magicians (of which I have a feeling my opinions would have largely been contradictory), but accidentally wandered off to lunch with other people without realizing I’d done so! Hopefully the 3 people I wandered off with did not feel as though I’d tagged along uninvited, but I certainly enjoyed the chance to get to know them all a little better. 

Once again did not make it to the Vid Party, but DID make it to the Vid Deep Dive panel, which was great. And have watched a bunch of the vids on the list now and am super excited about vids in general again and am hopeful that this will lead me to actually using my YouTube and AO3 accounts to specifically watch and fangirl over vids more. Vids are like magic to me and vidders like wizards - I am so in awe of their talent I cannot. 

Had some really interesting conversations about religion and fandom throughout the con - starting with my panel on the use of religion in SFF TV shows, dovetailing into a fascinating conversation down at the pool, and ending with some thinky thoughts coming out of the Antisemitism at WisCon panel. Possibly more on that later. Also possibly some more panels on the subject for next year?

Lots of panel topics and conversations this year ended up being about the combination of two subjects very close to my heart: 1) hope and/or redemption, and 2) community. Again, possibly more later and certainly some intriguing panel ideas for the coming year. 

I did buy two books this year! Budget does not always allow for book buying, but I did good on the food budget, so I allowed myself two during the sign-out. They were both from people I like to presume to call friends, which is always a nice plus - to buy directly from someone you want to support financially as well as personally. I got First Dates, Last Calls by Alexandra Erin which I’m excited to read and The Apocalypse coloring and activity book by Theo Nicole Lorenz which I’m excited to color!

I had wanted to get Laurie Mark’s final book in the Elemental Logic series Air Logic, along with the 3rd book (since a friend is planning to gift me the first 2 in the series), because Air Logic has just come out and the author and/or publisher were going to be at-con but by the time I got the Dealer’s room they were not there and by the time I left the sign-out they had not gotten there so it was not meant to be. But I still plan to get those books because I ADORE the series so far and am excited about the 4th. (I actually asked my library to purchase the book and am on the first on the holds list to get it once it’s in, so at least I’ll be able to read it soon if not actually own a copy)

As evidenced by my post the other day, I was thinking a lot about conversations being held about making sure more diverse voices are being heard during panels. I don’t have a lot of advice re: making sure more folks from more marginalized groups show up. But I find I did have a lot to say about making sure the panels folks are on end up being inclusive of many voices whether or not those ppl show up to be on the programming itself. And - I suspect - doing the latter well enough will help to foster more of the former as people will feel safer to come and share their perspectives as well as not feel like they have to always BE The Diversity Voice on every panel they choose to attend/be on. But I am a cis white chick, and I feel like it was mostly trans and poc folks these conversations were about, so I am eager to hear what other people have to say about all of this as and if they’re willing to share. 

I tend not to make it to GoH speeches or the Tiptree Auction because I have trouble with sitting still in a large room crowded with people type events. But as expected, even reading the text of Charlie Jane Anders’ speech made me weep with hope and joy and I hope G. Willow Wilson shares hers at some point so that I might also weep at hers. Those GoH speeches are always so inspiring and thrilling. I love this community. I am so grateful I became a part of it. I hope we can just always always keep growing and doing better to and for one another. 

Panels that I may or may not end up writing up a little about in the days to come: 

(the tail end of) Capitalism is Fueled by Anxiety

Favorite Queer Depictions in Fiction

Polyamory and Alternative Relationships

(the first half-ish of) New Pop Culture for Old Farts

Learning to Hear the Dog Whistle

Mental Illness in SFF

Vid Discussion Deep Dive

Antisemitism at WisCon

(parts of) The 116th Congress

Plus the five panels I was on, which will be less notes and more impressions: Killing Eve, Use of Religion in SFF TV, How to Write a Panel, Found Family, and Speculative Fiction on TV [also the spontaneous The Umbrella Academy panel which was small and informal but still really cool!]

[kiicn-blog]

did you hear about the monaco trip? it’s legendary at ucla. KIAN KANG is going, i’m so jealous. their instagram makes it seem like they’re pretty dynamic and they’re all about “do what you do best” & texts left on read. can you believe they’re only twenty-three and they’re going on a free trip to monaco for the summer? hopefully they don’t let their aloof side show too much on the trip. • HAS FIVE SIBLINGS • BROKE UP WITH PARTNER OF THREE YEARS TWO MONTHS AGO

uh henlo, quick intro before i disappear for the evening and write my second paper :( you won't see me till like tuesday :(( afternoon :( after class :(( anyways LMAO i'm aye ! i am twenty three :/ she/her pronouns and in the est timezone ! if u haven't already added me, add me on discord new girl could be the 1 for me#8402 , some of u added me and didnt come say hi so i hOPE after u read this u hit me up :( bc . i rly dont kno who is who tht added me JKFMGDSG dont be shy i do not bite :DDD

okay ima keep this fairly simple, let's start w stats ! 

full name: kian kang, no middle name, call him kk haha nickname(s): kiki, k, ki, do not call him ian he won't ever talk to you again, respect his vegan white ass name age: 23. date of birth: november 2nd 1995. hometown: new york, new york. ethnicity: korean. gender: cis male. sexuality: bisexual. hair colour: black. eye colour: brown. height: 5'11. tattoos: has a tattoo of a lion on his right index finger and a tiny heart behind his left ear. piercings: ears, three on the right, two on the left.

okay quick background ! im not gna write a lot and keep it brief bc ive been writing for school and my brain is DEAD i dnt have the mindset to go into depth bout anything but if u wnna know anything else just ask 

kian comes from a well off background like his mom ? a sugar DADDY ! like his dad married into MONEY !

they live in greenwich village in NYC n tht area is so expensive so u can say he had a nice upbringing, went to the best school

anyways ! quick family talk, his dad rly didn't love his mom , and rly only married for money and security and when kian was born he wanted kian to have all the things and opportunities in life that he didnt so he stayed w his mom

n his dad ? gay as FUCK kept tht hidden for god knows how long

it wasnt till kian was like 15 when he was like o ? father thoust r gay huh

yeah so tht marriage ended LMAO and kian wasnt rly happy that his family broke up

at the wedding when they asked does anyone object ? he stood up and said ME bitch but he was joking but he wasnt joking he was serious , u can say hes .. happy .

he has two siblings, they're still babies, twins, they're like 12 thats baby ok he loves his siblings theyre annoying but loves them ! assuming the other three are gna be from the step sibling plot xoxo i can alter this

ok here's a rundown on  kian now

kian , is a very blunt individual like he can be straightforward about a lot of stuff, he doesnt rly sugarcoat his words, it's just how he was raised

sometimes he can come off mean but like it's just.. how he talks and sometimes he doesn't realize what he says is wrong he just says it like this man has never been told to shut up,

he was always favored in school for the way he talked but sometimes tht warranted eyebrows raising left and right but he was still adored for his stupidity and lack of sense

he's an alright kid , can be nice when he wants to be , gentle soul once u rly get past whatever walls he put up

like he doesn't like to show that side as often unless u LOVES u but i feel like he should have air signs in him ..hmm.. will think bout it KFMDG

what am i missing ..

i feel like i missing something,

oh comign from n y of c he's super into looking good, even when he bums it down he looks good, he'll also call u out on ur choices and be like ur wearing tht ? today ? yikes...

if u want an honest opinion he's not afraid to be honest , v brutal xoxo

i think thts it

anyways PLOTS

so. . this is a possible plot ! and im gna base it off the song 'the wall' by anders if u wanna go take a listen teehee anyways, imagine this . it's all lovey dovey for a year and it was going well like over the moon relationship like you almost think these two would have gotten married but then after the year mark, things began to go down the drain? they started to hang out less, fights would break out, sex that would follow the fights but like that's it.. tht was the only intimacy, and sometimes they'd pretend they're okay for a day or two but then have a complete fit over like idk the wrong food order, cheating speculations could have arose and then they really really tried to make it right their third year, trying to go over what went wrong but then they decided to call it quits BUUtt since it's a fresh wound, they could have some slip ups if ukno what i meaaan anyways yeah if u wnna do this xoxo pls be prepared to plot back FKDG

a possible familial relation, like cousin . only cousin really, obv ur chara would have to be korean or half korean but someone who just knows kian inside and out this could be like an angsty familial relationship or a good one

ok another anders based plot ! listen to don't call :)) anyways this one, sometime after his break up he decided to have a few hook ups here and there, meaningless ofc but this specific hook up left a mark on him , maybe by the way they talked to him , he kept coming back for the four second intimacy, it left him confused n dazed , confused bc why am i feelin weird i just had a heartbreak

honestly im just down if anyone just wants to have a simple hook up plot thts cool too no thinking just lmk ! bc he's had a few after his breakup

enemies / ppl who don't get along ? idk kian could have come off COMPLETELY wrong and ur chara could have taken it the wrong way, insults were thrown here and there and they just don't talk with kindness

a sugar baby ! kian got MONEY ! i told u his mom ? a sugar daddy xoxo he doesnt mind spoiling ppl but only one he aint tht generous also u have to build a relationship with him if u want him to spoil u

uh thts it if u have any other plots just lmk xoxo we dont have to just do these

[thicc-anxieties]

Unpopular opinion ?

Oh boy . Uh okay well I guess one I’ve been giving a lot of thought about but never wanted to say cause like…fandom , Is that I really dislike Anders (from dragon age ) and everything about his character is extremely triggering and uncomfortable ? And I know a lot of ppl really love him and say okay he was abused so all things he does are excusable and that he’s actually really sweet and just needs love but. None of that is really ..at all convincing to me and I have never seen anything he does as sweet or justified.

For one thing he’s really emotionally manipulative with Hawke . The second you even remotely reject him ..he automatically turns to guilt tripping and not accepting your decision to going so far as to harassing the person you end up romancing. .. (fenris..merrill and Isabela ). Compared to fenris,who immediately respects your decision and genuinely hopes you can get along . And doesn’t immediately sound like he wants vengence on you. He slut shames isabela..not taking her relationship with Hawke seriously and calling her a “side dish ” . He is more than just a bit awful to merrill (which is entirely hypocritical in my opinion ) and even implies that she will hurt Hawke no matter what and is simply using him and saying her sweetness(and her…virginal smile..as he likes to put it…which..ew ) is a mask . Also..his comments even after she’s in a shit ton pain are just to belittle her and blame her and basically tell her she should be dead . He also completely demeans and abuses fenris whenever he gets the chance to . Gaslights him constantly,calls him a wild animal and makes gross comments about him being an ex - slave .

 Not to mention he literally uses text book definition abusive tactics to get Hawke to be with him..and no amount of emotional dependency or one -sided advances is going to convince me that he truly loved Hawke as their own person , that he actually respected .(don’t even get me started on the moving in scene) ..another thing is i feel like he literally does not care about stepping all over other marginalized groups of people and ignoring their struggles because he doesn’t believe anything could be worse than what he is going through (yes he is completely racist and sexist throughout the game …and i literally cannot comprehend how ppl don’t see that ) .

 His attitude and advances and flirting are completely triggering to me cause of past abusive relationships and things I used to completely be blind to I see completely now . Anders makes ppl uncomfortable for a reason . I believe them to be completely valid reasons and the “pure boy who did nothing wrong ” ideal that people place on him just…really..really does not sit well with me . Especially cause it reminds me of how I was in past relationships . Overlooking abusive tendencies because my partner had been through a lot and only said things because they needed my love desperately .People seeing that dependency as sweet just…makes me feel gross . And anders genuinely makes me uncomfortable in ..like..a lot of ways . No I don’t hate ppl who love anders , a lot of my friends do. Even if you are completely anti-chantry and understand what he is fighting for at least try to see why people don’t really..find him to be a good romance option or just a good..person .

[girlslob]

Okay but for real its interesting looking at what I ship the hardest (ughhh I hate that I just wrote that sentence seriously but is there a better less cringy word for the act of shipping a relationship? If so please tell me so I can stop embarrassing myself like this) because my most favorite of ships all follow a theme of opposites attracting... Even better if the two characters hate or have a huge dislike for each other at first before they end up unknowingly and sometimes unwillingly falling in love. Like IRL I am not the type of person to want a relationship like that but when reading fiction I am a huge sucker for that trope. Like if u look at some of my most favorite ships its obvious (Draco x Hermione, zuko x katara, fenris x anders, varric x Cassandra, as a couple of examples). And now that I'm thinking about it, I can remember all the way back to being like, 13 and my favorite books/mangas/whatever nerdy shit I was into having that exact same trope as well. I guess I just really love the idea of two opposite people who despise each other for various reasons somehow finding the middle ground and realizing the other is not always so bad. Bonus points if there are angsty misunderstandings, extreme slow burn and complete denial of feelings. Again, not quite always healthy relationship material irl....but then again its not like the relationships in fic are always unhealthy either. Its interesting seeing how authors work out each characters differences. Alright I'm rambling now lmao and I need to leave the house bc ppl are coming to look at it really soon so bye

[jitterydebonair]

Dragon age for the favorite character thing?

>:3canon u didn’t say which game specifically so I’m gonna go with dragon age 2 since it’s what I’ve been playing for the past few monthsThe first character I first fell in love with: Well I thought Aveline was hot? Lmao but fell in love with... I think Merrill first. I thought she was so adorable and still do!!The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Fenris! And all he had to do was speak... it’s hard liking him tho cause he’s....not nice lmaohe can be really harsh esp towards my mage companions (and especially especially towards merrill!!!) but when you’re friends with him/romance him...i love this angsty porcupine ok The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Anders? He’s just okay, he kind of reminds me of Alistair lite in terms of appearance and parts of his personality (except I love Alistair)I condone his love of cats tho, A+ good tasteThe character I love that everyone else hates: Isabela is a really big dork, i think she’s cute! She reminds me of sera in a way, who is also a character i like that a lot of ppl hate.And while ppl love shipping fenris with the dude default hawke they treat him rlly bad at the same time so I’m counting him tooThe character I used to love but don’t any longer: Aveline cause of her intense slut shaming towards Isabela and her quest to set her up with donnic pissed me off. I was blinded by her muscles and voice at first but now the haze has cleared and frankly im unimpressed The character I would totally smooch: Merrill! With her cute face and cute voiceThe character I’d want to be like: Varric cause he’s chill and likeable and has a questionable relationship with his crossbowThe character I’d slap: aveline. tho my hand would probably break on her strong faceAnd also knight commander Meredith cause she looks like that blonde parks and rec lady who’s last name i can’t spellA pairing that I love: (my) hawke/fenris :3and i think that merrill/isabela is cute!! I’m afraid to see how the fandom portrays it tho for obvious reasons so I don’t go into the tagA pairing that I despise: umm any white hawke/fenris or isabela cause i don’t trust white ppl with brown characters and I’ve already seen how they characterize fenris. no way.anders/fenris squicks me out bc the things they say to each other??? Are really gross!!! (Esp anders about fen being a slave. wtf dude)Also I’m not a fan of Aveline/Donnic even tho it’s canon. Came out of nowhere in my humble onion n aveline should have a gf (not me tho cause im about tired of her shenanigans)