#i just wanna go to sleep and not wake up to deal with this.
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hiiii hope im not to late to your prompt party.
how about “tracing a finger across your lover’s scar” and “kissing your lovers forehead or knuckles” for Buck
because I’m a cool lightning strike scar truther 🫙
yess i’m so glad i got a fluffy prompt request!! i was expecting mostly smut ones, so i love this!! this is also an idea i've had for a while, but never got around to writing, so i'm glad i finally got to write it!! also, i know these scars wouldn’t last that long, but just pretend<3
"tracing a finger across your lover's scar" and "kissing your lovers forehead or knuckles" from this post
you still remember the night there was a knock on your door. you weren’t expecting anyone, which was the first red flag, but when you looked through the peephole and saw the familiar fabric of an lafd uniform, you knew something was terribly wrong.
you could barely look at buck shirtless for weeks; the lightning scars across his torso too painful of a reminder of when you saw him in the hospital. of when his heart stopped.
3 minutes and 17 seconds.
when buck had finally noticed what you were doing; turning the a/c up so it was too cold for him to sleep shirtless, and always coming up with excuses to either of you taking off clothes during sex, he finally pieced everything together.
“baby, what’s going on? why don’t you want to see me anymore?” he asks, arms crossed over his chest as he stands in front of you in your shared bedroom.
you blink slowly, feeling tears well up in your eyes as you take in his hurt expression. you don’t want to tell him the truth, you don’t want to make it into a big deal. and you especially don’t want to face that he had died. not again.
“i can’t look at those scars everyday, buck. it fucking hurts.” you tell him, voice cracking.
his brows furrow as he studies your face, and then his expression falls, realization dawning on his face.
“what, you think they’re ugly? you don’t think i’m attractive anymore?” you can see the tears in his eyes, and you shake your head quickly, closing the distance between the two of you and cupping his cheeks in your hands.
“oh, baby, no. of course not.” you assure him in a soft voice. you can’t believe yourself; you’ve put your needs completely over his. you didn’t even think of how this would look to him. “it’s just that, all i think about when i see those scars is how you left me. you died, buck, and then you were in a hospital bed, in a coma. you have no idea what that was like for me. for a while, we didn’t even know if you’d even wake up.”
he lets out a shaky breath as a tear runs down his cheek, nodding slowly at your words. it’s true, he doesn’t know what that was like, and he feels an odd sense of guilt filling his belly.
“i’m sorry. i just thought that-” he whispers, leaning forward and pressing his forehead against yours as he lets out a long sigh.
you shake your head, smiling sadly as you keep his face right against yours, feeling a tear fall down your own cheek.
“don’t you dare apologize. i’m sorry. i didn’t think about how you’d take what i was doing. your scars aren’t ugly. at all. you’re still you, and you’re still as handsome as you were without your scars, i promise. it was only ever about the memories attached to those scars.” you tell him, voice firm enough for him to believe you, yet soft enough to know that you’re not upset in any way.
you feel him nod against your forehead, and you finally pull back from him and place a kiss on his forehead, lips lingering on his skin for a second or two longer than normal.
“i love you.” you whisper when you pull back, smile softly as you see the sadness and uncertainty melting from his features. “now take off your shirt.”
he raises a brow, a glimpse of his usual self coming back as he smirks down at you and places his hands on your hips.
“are you trying to get me naked, pretty girl?” he teases, and you laugh softly, shrugging.
“just your shirt, lover boy. wanna see you.” you tell him with a smile, turning him around and pushing him down to sit on the bed.
he pulls his shirt off quickly, and when it’s off, you’re quick to straddle his lap and push his back down onto the bed. you let your fingers drag across his skin, tracing the patterns of the scar littering his torso. your eyes follow the path of your fingers, touch feather-light as you take in every dark patch of skin.
buck can feel his heart pounding in his chest as he watches you, eyes darting between your face and your fingers as his hands squeeze your hips, keeping you firmly in place.
when you finally look back up at him, you smile, fingers still pressed against his chest.
“beautiful boy.” you whisper, then lean down and begin to press gentle kisses to his scars, starting at the tips of each lightning strike, then moving up and kissing where each branch of lightning separates from the other, moving in different directions across his tan skin.
he doesn’t know what to do as he relishes in your touch, your attention to his scars feeling so overwhelming and mind numbing. he hadn’t told anyone, but he’s a little insecure about his scars. everyone tells him how cool they look, but he just doesn’t see it. it just reminds him of what happened to him, and what he could’ve lost.but, now, he doesn’t feel bad about them at all, because you like them, and that’s all that matters.
#911 abc#evan buckley#evan buckley x plus size!reader#evan buckley x plus size reader#evan buckley x reader#evan buckley headcanon#evan buckley drabble#evan buckley fic#evan buckley imagine#evan buckley oneshot#911 x plus size!reader#911 x plus size reader#911 x reader#911 fic#911 imagine#911 oneshot#911 drabble#911 headcanon#asks#💌🫶🏼#🫙 anon
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Sleepy
Inspired by this post by iwamimimimi.
TW: it’s suggestive in some part, Dazai’s a bit of a pervert, but nothing in detail.
Chuuya was exhausted.
It had been a long day, he just wanted to take a shower.
Dazai was in the shower, and he didn’t feel like dealing with how handsy he got when they were both in the shower.
After hanging up his coat and hat he sat down on the bed as he unbuttons his vest, he slides it off his shoulders and tosses it on the bed beside him.
Chuuya sighs and rubs his face, flopping back against the bed, closing his eyes just to let them rest a little.
He hears the door open, and Dazai stifle a laugh, he pushes himself up and scowls at his husband.
“What are you laughing at?” He huffs, glaring at him.
“Oh, nothing.” He muses, clear amusement sparkling in his eyes.
He walks over to the bed, climbing on it and over to Chuuya.
“But your hair is all messy.” He remarks, cupping the side of his face as he tilts his head, pressing his lips softly to Chuuya’s.
Chuuya sighs softly into the kiss, letting his eyes flutter closed as he melts into it, the tension draining from his body.
Dazai pulls back, brushing his thumb under his eye. “You look tired.” He comments softly.
The ginger hums. “I am, but you’re not going in my kitchen.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it Chibi.” The bandaged man comments with a laugh. “We can order some pizza.”
Chuuya nods as his husband pulls away and sits back on the bed.
After a moment of silence the shorter man raises an eyebrow. “Aren’t you gonna go order the pizza?”
“I would rather watch you change.”
“Nope, nope, nope, nope.” Chuuya chastises, grabbing the lanky man’s arm and pulling him up before pushing him out of the room.
“You’re so mean, Chibi.” Dazai whines as he’s pushed out of the room.
Chuuya doesn’t listen, and simply closes and locks the door behind him.
After getting changed into his nightwear, he makes his why over to the living room, slotting himself against his husband who instantly wraps in arm around him to pull him against his side.
“Don’t you look cozy.” Dazai teases.
“Shut up.” He grumbles back.
Dazai chuckles. “Wanna watch a movie.”
Chuuya shrugs. “Sure.”
“What are you in the mood for?” The brunette asks, running his hands through his husband’s hair.
“Mh, something light, like a comedy or something.”
“As you wish.” Dazai scrolls through movies, eventually clicking on one.
It doesn’t take long for Chuuya’s eyes to grow heavy again, the heat of his husband’s body, and the fingers through his hair lulling him to the sweet embrace of sleep.
Dazai must’ve noticed because he pressed a kiss to the side of his head. “I’ll wake you when the food get’s here.” He promises, voice barely over a whisper.
“Love you.” Chuuya mumbles, burying his face in the brunettes shoulder.
“I love you too.”
#It’s my birthday tomorrow#Yay me#I’ll probably post about it tomorrow#chuuya#chuuya nakahara#nakahara chuuya#dazai#osamu#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#skk#soukoku#established skk#established soukoku#married skk#married soukoku
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🌻 ₊˚⊹ ࿔ 🌳
#the weather is so lovely today. it’s breezy and cool but the sun is warm so it’s not too cold or too hot out.#i wish it was like this forever.#ive been feeling so tired lately. physically n mentally & idk if its an underlying health issue or bc i haven’t been sleeping super well#the past few days i wake up in the middle of the night but im able to go back to sleep fairly quickly. but i STILL feel exhausted.#im supposed to talk about my lab results w my doc tmrw on the phone so. i hope everything is okay but tbh i wouldn’t be surprised if#something wasn’t optimal. my iron was okay last time i checked it though. sigh i just idefk anymore.#im sick of everything. im irritable for no reason. i don’t wanna do anything. like anything. i just want to rot in my bed#and even my interests are slowly slipping away from me. writing? couldn’t care less if i don’t write anything for the rest of the year tbh.#reading? i couldn’t even care to browse the shelves when we went to the bookstore the other day and it scared the shit out of me#kpop? meh.#i have a massive to do list and uni starts in a month and i have no energy. + dealing with my own brain and nonsensical thoughts on top#of that. overthinking anxiety all that super great stuff.#im also sick of putting in 110% into my relationships and getting half of it back. family friends whoever. and it makes me so sad. +#i feel like nobody even understands me. or even tries to or wants to.#im just tired#sick and tiredddddd#actually a bit sick too my throat hurts#anyways whatever#it’ll be fine i guess#i don’t want to give up but i don’t have any desire to push through im sort of just. floating. ill deal with it when i deal with it#♡ dear diary…
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My sleep schedule is less of a schedule and more of a "fuck it I'll do it whenever I guess".
#ventings#kinda ticked off at myself but idk. normally dont care but its bothering me recently#ill give myself this ! i actually woke up at 9:30 and was up for 50 minutes#before conking back out from 10:20 til just now. i can consider this more of a nap than fully sleeping through the morning#just frustrated idk. i want my old sleep schedule back. i want to go to bed at like midnight/ 1am and wake up at 9:30 and actually#stay awake. i dont wanna feel like i wasted my entire morning just sleeping. eugh#i think its particularly bad today cuz i have work and i kinda dont wanna. deal with work#when i have christmas stuff i rlly need to do and whatever tf else is going on in my head rn#idk. IDK ! give it up for weekend number ????? where i tell myself having to actually wake up at 7 will fix me and then it doesnt
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#i need to sleep but of course i am just thinking#mind racing xoxo i love bpd#thinking about how i'll probably wake up to an im sorry message or something idk and i don't wanna have to say it's fine but rationally#i know it's not a big deal i guess#i just#haha im not important enough to even send a quick text to that you're home and going to bed now yayyyy#i love feeling like i mean nothing to people :/ i feel like i'm doomed to mean nothing#i don't want to go to sleep and i don't want to wake up tomorrow
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...
#im so tired. i dont wanna work on writing assignments#i just wanna sleep forever. thats all. is that so much to ask?#possibly my tatto0 has become infected on the back of my upper arm. possibly bc i when i wake up at night#i am disoriented and itch it when i kno i shouldn't. ugh. possibly that's y im tired#an allergic reaction or an infection. its still raised in places like theres a wire under my skin#what shall i do abt this? perhaps nothing and hope it goes away. or wait for Monday and go to a doctor to b like lol wtf is wrong with this#but the thing abt me is ill convince myself that its all in my head. like i made this happen with my mind and there's nothing wrong but als#if i took medicine it wouldnt work either. its all in my head. bleh#im so tired. i dont wanna deal with this#unrelated#a curse upon me for trying to do something fun#mayhaps ill b itchy forever. eternal torment upon me
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i need to figure out something to do tomorrow that’s relaxing and fun or i’m gonna go insane
like i gotta do a little housework and i should work on some sewing. but i need to figure out a video game or something i can enjoy bc they all seem boring rn but there’s nothing new i want, but also i want that kind of mindless fun break. augh.
#kit talks#i’ve been very stressed the past few weeks and i have 1000 anxieties still eating at me#and i should probably do some extra work to try to deal with some of those stressors but i freeze up and cry if i think too much about it#which is super healthy and normal yes i’m aware 👍🏻#i just wanna get some rest. like real Rest#every time i have woken up for like a week it genuinely feels like i didn’t sleep at all#and i get that i have chronic fatigue but this is worse than normal. i just wanna wake up and not feel like going straight back to sleep#sigh WHATEVER it’s just not a great time rn
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I still have 5 hours left in my shift 😭😭😭
#I just….#really wanna go home today#not having a good day. I started my period this morning and then I got to work and found out only me and one other opener were there but our#opening manager wasn’t here yet so she was late and we spent the next 20 minutes rushing to get everything set up before we opened#and then we immediately started getting customers and it’s just been busy and I’m tired and just don’t feel good bc of my period#and then so far I’ve had 2 of my least favorite customers come through the drive thru where I’m working#one is this dude who’s just fucking annoying another is the guy that asked for my number a few months ago who I haven’t seen since I turned#him down so I took his order and then made someone else deal with him at the window#and then it got busy with everyone ordering drinks like hot coffees which meant I had to walk from our drive thru out to the lobby bc my#coffees were out bc everyone wants coffee today but when I would do that I would still have to be taking orders#and then someone cleared a few specialty coffees off the barista screen without making them while the person was sitting in the drive thru#so I had to make those while doing other stuff too and people were asking me questions#and I was just getting very overstimulated and annoyed plus I’m hungry#and I just want to leave and go home and sleep but it’s my best friend’s birthday so she’s probably gonna want to do something later but I#just don’t feel up to it and I know she’s probably ready to hang out because she’s been off for 10 days with Covid so she’s well rested now#for her birthday but 😭😭😭 I just want to crash into my bed so hard and not wake up until noon tomorrow#also the coworker I work with every day and don’t like is here today unfortunately#and also all of the speakers we use to play music in the back are dead right now and I just want to play music#first world problems but I have so little patience today
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I was too shaken up to say it yesterday, and you probably don’t care but I need to vent
Yesterday at 12:30 at night some of my neighbours got into a fight, bottle of beer shatter, lot of noises like barels were falling down the stair to the point we had to call the police and they ran away… No idea who was fighting, but half the building was there (4 app out of 8) including a REALLY pregnant woman with twins and now my mom says they are giving use dirty looks and I can’t help but be a bit scared even if they are usually super sweet 😭
#I think they may think that if we tell the landlord she’s going to make them leave#so my dad is scared of telling the landlord cause he dosen’t want his ass beat even though my dad could easily beat someone up too bsbsbsbs#I pretty sure we are just stress and anxious about what happen#and my mom is the can of you look at her without smiling and she’s like “’’I see you are mad at me you hate me’’ 😭#so can I trust her#also not because they look at us because they are mad that they’re going to be mad a long time#I would be mad if someone called the police on my even if I deserved it#and anyway they were laughing and screaming next door listening to music (loud but not enough to heard it if it wasn’t total silence)#my dad wants to give up the job of janitor though he has enough and don’t wanna deal with them anymore 😭#so 50$ more for the rent 🤪#yeah that’s what she was paying 😐#I mostly hope they won’t do anything like that again#I slept 3 hours because I had to wake up at 6:46 woke up at 6:30 but couldn’t sleep cause I was too shaken up#we wear so scared someone would fell down the stairs or hurt themself (or even d*e if they fell down the balcony directly)#police found blood in the stairs but with how loud they were it’s probably from a broken nose or something 😭#also my dad saw a car leave so maybe non of them fought but their friend did we couldn’t see at all :/#it’s a whole mess I just hope it won’t make discord into the building 😭#that would be really bad :(#and they know it’s my dad that call cause he yelled police to them 😭#but some were already on their way so someone else call but stay hidden my dad is crazy he went outside to yell at them 😭 ckbsjsn#alex.txt
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Vent
#:(#im just really angry and really sad#and i cant talk to anyone#thats not a slight on my friends its something wrong with me#but the fact that i cant open up to anyone is killing me#im so so fricken tired#all i wanna do is go to sleep and never wake up#my chest hurts cus of how broken my heart is just cus of show shitty my life is#i need a cuddle that im nlt going to get#merp#also dealing with the fsct that i provably have BPD which makes me even more like my mom so#hate that#any moment im not disteacted o cant know peace and i feel pathetic flr it#im just so crushingly lonely it fucking hurts#and its painful to know no matter how hard i cry no one is coming to save me
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Every day I wake up and
#on my phone rn so u get random reaction image of random image i have saved#im tired of everything and im exhausted#i cant deal w anymore shit. waking up is hard i just wanna sleep.#idk. i just cant handle anything anymore.#my will to keep Going is non existent rn.#Cade.vnt
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uh oh my heart is being all stupid again
#og#was getting ready for bed and started feeling it like fucking hell i was just going to sleep 😭#hopefully by the time i wake up it feels better bc i dont really wanna deal with the pain#just wanna be healthy ;__; my health has been very bad recently
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I just finished reading the 'God Save the Blessed American President Mom' fic and I sobbed hard through it all..
#god Im a wreck rn but I needed that cry#my anxiety at work has been so bad lately...#heaviness in my chest shaking hands kind of anxious and its been awful#and the best i can do for myself rn is come home and just disconect reading wholesome rwrb fics#and ive also been having trouble sleeping so thats what i do#until my eyes get too tired#bc i guess some part of me doesnt wanna wake up next morning#and go in rto work and get drilled with emotionally draining work and deal with stupid shit/people#not my coworkers/friend tho#i love them sm they keep me sane ♡#I'll never say it to those dummies but I think they're pretty neat ♡#just here avoiding more sleep writing this#and hoping tomorrow is the day it finally gets better#but not really feeling that hopeful...#either way..#at least i can always escape into alex and henry's love-filled world at some point of the day and worry about nothing ♡#loads of rambly tags but#truthfully-- no piece of media has ever touched me like this#and it really feels like it heals something in me for a while ♡#been thinking if I should see a therapist again too...#but im pretty sure my insurance doesmt cover it...#anyway#goodnight and here's to hoping#sad? little post#stuff
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Don't Call Me Kid - Chapter 8 (part one)
(Rafe Cameron x Reader series, 4.1k words)
series summary: You'd had a crush on Rafe Cameron since you were six years old, but he friend zoned you at every turn. Once shy and insecure, you found new confidence and self-love after high school. When your high school friends go on a reunion beach trip, Rafe finally sees what he lost, but he isn't going to give you up without a fight.
tropes: unrequited crush, glow up, she fell first/he fell harder
series content: some angst, eventual fluff, slow burn, tomfoolery and shenanigans, drinking, fem!reader has occasional insecurity and body image issues
⇢ series masterlist
additional chapter cw! suggestive moments, mature readers only
Carter could hear his car approaching before it even came into view.
She had been grounded for two weeks, caught out with Topper on his granddad’s boat past curfew, and she had never been more bored in her life. Slumped back on the couch, she dipped her hand in the bag to grab another chip, pausing mid-bite when she heard the familiar hum of Rafe’s truck engine growl down the street.
“Oh fuck no,” she hopped off the couch, a trail of crumbs in her wake as she jogged to the front door.
Though she knew you were away for the afternoon, your mom taking you to tour a local college on the mainland, she instinctively double checked that your car was still gone. She was thankful you weren’t here to see him in his oversized ego-mobile zipping down your street like he owned it.
You’d been devastated all week, crying yourself to sleep in the wake of seeing Rafe kiss Cassie Bryant. Nothing made Carter angrier than knowing you were hurt and not being able to do anything about it.
She couldn’t believe his nerve to show up here. He’d been texting to you all week, clearly not taking your lack of response for the answer that it was. You were finally finding the strength to stay away from him, and she was not about to let that unravel.
She stood on the front porch, closing the door firmly behind her, arms crossed and stance wide like she was prepared to defend her castle. Really, she was prepared to defend you.
Rafe parallel parked on the street, some misogynistic country song blaring from his subwoofers. Carter rolled her eyes at the way his massive truck took up enough space for two cars, always claiming what wasn’t his, taking and taking and giving nothing in return.
Closing the driver’s door with a bang, Rafe hopped down from his truck and strolled toward the house, stopping short in the front walk when he noticed Carter glaring out at him.
“You have some fucking nerve, Cameron,” she spat at him.
“I’m not here for you,” he glared back.
“Well no one else in this house wants to talk to your ass right now so you can go ahead and turn right back around.”
He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I just wanna know why she wasn’t at my game today.”
“Uh-oh,” she tilted her head in mock-sympathy, “did ya lose?”
He clenched his jaw, an angry huff of air flaring his nostrils, “yeah, we lost.”
“Good.”
“Can you just let me in?” He started moving toward the front steps, but she didn’t move from her spot blocking the door. “I need to talk to her and she’s not answering my texts.”
“Do you think that’s an accident?” She scoffed. “Take a hint.”
“Okay, what’s your fucking problem, Carter?” He snapped the sentence off with a bite of her name.
“You’re my problem, Rafe,” she bit right back.
“What the fuck did I do? Why isn’t your sister answering my calls?”
“I dunno, maybe you should ask Cassie Bryant,” her hands uncrossed and rested on her hips.
Rafe stepped back, head dropping back in exasperation as he rolled his eyes at the sky.
“That’s what this is about? Cassie and I are just hooking up, what’s the big deal?”
“You mean besides the fact that Cassie’s made my sister’s life hell since they were in the same Kindergarten class?” She threw at him. “Or that you’ve been dragging my sister along since she was six years old just to ditch her for some wannabe Addison Rae tiktok flop?”
“God, you’re always so fucking dramatic, it isn’t even like that,” he gestured toward the window of your bedroom, still assuming you were up there somewhere avoiding him, “your sister knows we’re cool.”
“You’re not cool, Rafe. You’re an idiot,” she told him with a pitying shake of her head.
Rafe turned her words over in his head, finally stopping long enough to consider the possibility that he’d done more damage than he initially thought.
“Is she really mad at me?” He mumbled, tucking his hands into his pockets.
Carter sighed, “No. She’s not mad at you. She’s never mad at you, that’s the problem. You don’t make her mad, you make her sad. All you ever do is make her sad.”
Shoulders falling, Rafe looked past Carter with a vacant stare. He looked so confused and distraught she almost felt bad for him. Almost.
“I didn’t mean to make her sad,” he mumbled, almost at a whisper.
Carter scanned him with narrowed eyes, trying to decide if his penance was sincere. He looked down at his shoes, digging the tip of one into the stony walkway.
“How do I fix it?”
Carter started to think maybe he was sincere after all, but she still wasn’t sure he was in any place to be asking for advice.
“I don’t know if you can,” she told him.
“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” he said hopefully, trying to console himself. “She’ll come around.”
He looked at Carter like he was actually expecting her to agree.
“And then what, Rafe?” She tilted her head, genuinely curious about the answer. “What’s the end game here? You’ll just make her sad for a few more months and then go off to school and…what?”
“I dunno,” he shrugged defensively. “I haven’t thought about it.”
“Exactly. You don’t think things through. That’s always been your problem,” she informed him, “you just do what you want and pay no attention to how it affects other people. If you really cared about her, you wouldn’t keep putting her through the same shit over and over.”
“I do care about her,” he mumbled, her words beginning to penetrate his carefully constructed antagonistic armor.
“I wish I could believe that,” she shook her head sadly, “I wish she could believe that. At least when she did, she wasn’t crying herself to sleep every night.”
Sour regret burned in his throat at the thought of your tears dripping onto your pillowcase, some unfamiliar heartache he didn’t understand.
“Maybe you could convince her that I do,” he offered, “she listens to you.”
“Why would I do that?” Carter snapped.
“Because then she wouldn’t be so sad,” his voice was so feeble it was like he was shrinking right before her eyes, his tall, intimidating frame so small and inadequate under the towering shadow of his guilt.
“Tell you what Rafe,” she began, “I’ll try and convince her that you care about her if you can look me in the eyes and tell me with your whole chest that you won’t hurt her anymore, that you won’t use her to your advantage, or drop off the face of the earth for weeks not answering her texts, or kiss other girls right in front of her face. That you’ll fight for her and put her before your own selfish bullshit. Can you make that promise?”
He wrung his hands, mindlessly adjusting the ring on his right forefinger, jaw clenched as he tried to will forth a convincing enough yes. He couldn’t do it.
“That’s what I thought,” Carter said. “If you can’t fight for her, then…”
“What?” He asked desperately, hoping she’d offer him some olive branch shaped way out of the shame engulfing his chest.
“Then I am asking you- begging you really - to let her go. Stop texting, stop coming by the house, stop making promises you’re not gonna keep. Please. If not for me, then for her.”
“Do you think that’s what she wants?” He asked.
“No. But I think it’s what she needs,” she said, knowing it would kill you if you knew she was doing this, but believing with her whole heart that it was right.
Rafe rarely thought about the future. The farthest his mind went was the next few minutes in front of him. It was his fatal flaw, acting for the moment and not for the moment after, or the version of himself that would face the consequences of his poor choices. Yet, in this moment, he had the keen sense that his next move would be a pivotal one, the gravity of it making his feet feel heavy on the stone pathway. He could stay, he could argue, scream your name until you came out and talked to him. But then what? Would he have the courage to follow through? Was he enough of a man to handle the weight of your expectation?
Ultimately, he knew the right thing was to stay and fight, but the easy thing would be to just go.
So, as he almost always did, Rafe made the easy choice.
“Okay,” he nodded to Carter. “I’ll let her go.”
“Thank you,” she said, voice shaking with the fear that if you knew what she just convinced him to do, you’d never forgive her.
“I’m not doing it for you,” he made sure she knew before turning and climbing back into his truck.
Once in the driver’s seat, he pulled out his phone, looking at your name in his contacts. Like his fingers were moving without his mind’s permission, he deleted you. It didn’t matter really, he thought, he’d remember your number on his deathbed. He’d remember it all, and he’d hate himself forever for driving away.
Carter stayed on the porch, watching him go, praying desperately that you’d never find out she was the reason he left.
⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄
“We’re gonna have to go back eventually,” you said.
Rafe sat behind you in the sand, holding you with his chin resting easy on your shoulder as you took in the sprawling pink sunrise together.
“Says who?” He countered.
You smiled, craning your neck to look up at him. His eyelids were heavy, purple under the eyes from the exhaustion of being awake all night.
“You’re falling asleep,” you noticed.
“Yeah because some girl kept me up all night, begging me to take her to the beach and kiss her,” he joked.
“Excuse me, sir, this was your idea!” You sat up and stretched, your words making him laugh despite his immediate discomfort at the loss of your body in his arms. “What time is it anyway?”
“I dunno,” he shrugged, “my phone’s in the car.”
“Mine too,” you chuckled, “I hope Carter’s okay. She was looking rough before we left.”
He had half a mind to propose the two of you never leave the beach, but he could hear the genuine concern under your lighthearted words. He stood from the sand and dusted himself off, reaching out a hand to pull you to your feet. You took it with a smile, lingering for a moment as you stood, your hand in his, taking one last look around the beach, searching for some kind of landmark.
“What are you looking for?” He asked.
“I just want to remember exactly where we were,” you explained.
“Why, you wanna recreate it?” He smiled softly at you.
“Oh, I plan to recreate it many times,” you wink at him.
It took all his strength to leave that spot and head back to the car, back to the house full of people who weren’t you, back to reality.
“I can drive,” he suggested, planning to take the slowest route possible, and actually follow the speed limit for the first time in his life.
As soon as he started the car up, your CD started blasting through the speakers. You laughed at each other, the catalyst of this whole encounter feeling like it was days ago. The time on the car radio told you it’d only been about two hours. You lifted your phone but the screen remained black.
“Shit, it’s dead,” you told him, opening the glovebox and digging around for a charger.
While you were distracted, Rafe lifted his own phone from the cupholder he’d left it in. His screen did light up, displaying a slew of frantic texts from Topper and Kelce. He winced, wishing he hadn’t looked. He didn’t read the texts, not wanting whatever nonsense they were bothering him with to pop the blissful bubble wrapped around the two of you. He knew he shouldn’t start off your new…whatever this was…by lying to you, but he needed to stay in this happy place just a little longer.
“Mine’s dead too,” he lied, flipping the phone over in the cup holder to hide the screen.
“Of course Carter doesn’t have a charger,” you sighed, “she has like twenty hair ties and lipglosses, but no charger. Classic.”
“I know my way back,” he shrugged, “we’ll be good.”
Rafe put the car in reverse, backing out of the little side road with his arm on the seat next to your head. You watched the way he turned in his seat to look out the back window, neck muscles flexing with the stretch and his big hand manipulating the steering wheel with ease.
For the first time in the sixteen years you’d known him, you didn’t try to hide your gaze as you took him in. The same attraction that used to make you feel skittish and ashamed now settled over you peacefully, like an icy winter finally melting into a warm, bright spring. You looked at him all you wanted, noting every detail, taking mental photographs of every inch of his skin.
You’d always thought he was cute - actually, no, you always thought he was hot as fuck - but now for the first time, you allowed yourself to look long enough to notice how beautiful he was. Pins and needles burst out all over your body as you realized how badly you needed to kiss him again.
Rafe could feel your eyes on him as he drove, choosing not to say anything and risk you looking away. He felt at home in your gaze, happier than he could ever remember being.
Inhibitions left back on the beach, you fearlessly reached out toward him, hand grazing gently over his jaw. You loved the ticklish little stubble that had grown there in just a few days without shaving. You smiled as you thought about the boy who could barely grow peach fuzz, now a man, strong and solid under your fingertips. Something warm and electric buzzed in your stomach, and you knew Rafe could feel it too, his skin heating under your tender touch.
“What are you thinking about?” He asked, keeping his eyes on the road but leaning slightly into your hand to encourage you to keep touching him.
“Nothing,” you smiled, “I’ve just never gotten to look at you this long.”
“Is it making you change your mind?” He smirked, clearly not worried about the answer, his confidence making him impossibly sexier.
“Just the opposite,” you confirmed, “I think you’re always gonna have to drive from now on.”
“Why’s that?”
“Well now that I’ve gotten a good look I don’t think I could keep my eyes on the road. I always had the hardest time not looking over at you.”
Rafe grinned wide as your hand slipped from his jaw to the back of his head, fingers lacing in his soft hair, scratching his scalp lovingly. There was no rhyme or reason to your movements, but you didn’t care, you just needed your hands on him. He didn’t seem to mind, head leaning back into your palm to let you know he needed you as much as you needed him.
“I know you did,” he said.
“How?” You asked.
“Because I could never keep myself from looking over at you,” he confessed.
A kaleidoscope of butterflies fluttered their way through your chest. Now you were certain- you’d never been more attracted to anyone as you were to him in this moment.
Rafe took your silent smile as a good sign, “did I get another A with that line?”
Your hand slid slowly down to his shoulder, over the ridges and ripples of his arms, flexing under your soft touch, until you found his hand, pulling it into your own.
“Gold stars, baby,” you smiled.
Rafe’s grip tightened on the steering wheel, the air in the car becoming thicker by the second as he shifted in his seat. You beamed at him, realizing with a flurry of excitement - you had Rafe Cameron flustered.
“You like when I call you baby?” You purred, eager to see how far you could push it.
His grip tightened around your hand, “you can’t say shit like that to me when I’m driving.”
You could feel the dam breaking. You needed him. Now.
“Then pull over.”
He finally took his eyes off the road for a second at that, looking over at you for confirmation; are you serious? You gave him a steely, lustful look in return; as a heart attack.
Rafe practically popped a tire turning the wheel hard and pulling the car down a side street, driving until he found a little secluded enclave by the beach, a perfectly private spot. He threw the car in park, making you laugh at the jolt it gave with his urgency. He didn’t waste a second, reaching both hands over to grab your face and pull your lips to his.
You sighed into his mouth, no hesitancy holding you back from slipping your tongue between his lips. He pulled away just long enough to grit out a raspy, “come here,” before throwing his seatbelt off.
You unbuckled your own, holding tight to his shoulders as you swung your leg over the console and climbed, somewhat awkwardly, into his lap. Your head fell back in laughter as your butt accidentally pressed the horn, the sound blasting through the quiet morning air. Rafe laughed too, easing your slight embarrassment as he reached down to slide the seat back.
Once you had more room, you pulled back to get a better look at him. He looked up at you with wide blue eyes, so gentle and kind in the way they took you in. Rafe reached up and brushed your hair over your shoulder, taking a deep breath as his hands grazed your shoulder.
“Hey,” he whispered to fill the silence.
You cracked the slightest smile, unable to repress your amusement.
“What?” He puzzled.
“I just didn’t imagine you to be so…sweet like this,” you explained, though you hated how the words sounded coming out of your mouth, afraid it would sound like a criticism and cause him to withdraw.
“Only for you,” he said.
“Uh oh,” you teased, hands laying flat over his chest as you leaned forward, relieved you hadn’t ruined the moment after all, “is big bad Rafe Cameron going weak for me?”
“He always has been,” he nodded, his dimples creasing his cheeks with his sheepish smile.
You slid your hands up to either side of his face, thumbs dipping into his dimples. You’d always wanted to do that. You couldn’t believe that after all that waiting and longing, you really could just lean forward and kiss him if you wanted to.
So you did, like you were trying to prove to yourself that this was actually real. The second your lips met his, you could tell he was thinking the same exact thing.
Rafe’s hands gripped your hips as he sat up off the seat just slightly to meet your mouth fervently. You bent over him, your hair falling in a curtain around his face. His hands felt so good, so right, warm and strong against you. You smiled into the kiss as you could feel them sliding so slowly, reverently, over your curves, until they found a home on your lower back, bringing you forward to rest fully against him. It was the same gentle control he had taken on the jetski, and it was addictive.
He was hard, you could feel him firm beneath you, and your head flooded with lustful thoughts. You rolled your body just slightly against him, but he felt every second of it, his hands sliding lower until he was kneading the flesh of your ass. Breathless, you paused, forehead against, another roll of your body as you pressed into him.
“Do you want me to stop?” He breathed, chest rising and falling with heavy pants.
“No, don’t, I’ve wanted this for so long,” it came out more desperate than you planned, but you didn’t care, you needed him to know.
“Me too, kid, you have no idea,” he smiled.
Your nose scrunched, pulling back to look at him with narrow eyes, “kid? Really?”
“Well you don’t like when I call you baby, so…”
“That is not what I said,” you laughed, “I said don’t say things you don’t mean. You can call me whatever you want, as long as you mean it”
“In that case…” he leaned in again, hands on either side of your face as his lips met yours before pulling away to meet your eyes as he said, “hey baby.”
You melted into him, his hands cradling your head the only thing keeping you grounded to the planet. He littered your face and jaw with slow, deliberate kisses, working his way toward your neck as he whispered more sweet pet names into your skin.
“Beautiful,” with a kiss to your jaw, “angel,” with a kiss to your neck, just below your ear, “my girl,” with a kiss to your collarbone, lingering to suck on the skin right at the base of your neck, marking you lightly.
Your whole body pulled him in tighter, dizzy with the ecstasy of having him like this. Your fingers threaded through his hair, tugging just hard enough to tell him how good he was making you feel. You couldn’t resist but push down into his hardness, muscles tense as his lips tickled the sensitive skin around the collar of your shirt.
“Rafe…” you sighed out as he continued to suck lip shaped marks into you, his hands kneading your ass, arms strong around you like he alone was the one keeping you tethered to the earth.
He pulled away from you just far enough to look you in the eyes, his pupils blown out. There was a kind of darkness in his eyes, sending excitement, and maybe even a touch of fear, shooting through your body. You wondered what would happen if he dropped the gentleness and really seized control, longing to be the one to send him to that place.
“Are you?” He whispered. Hunger, lust, and some more vulnerable third thing laced the deep tenor of his voice as his eyes searched yours, “are you my girl?”
His brows were furrowed so tight with intensity, you worried he was gonna give himself a headache.
You ran your thumb over the scrunched skin on his forehead, smoothing it out, gentle but firm. You continued to run your fingers over his face, both to put him at ease and to buy yourself time, the answer to his question stuck somewhere in your chest, unwilling or unable to make its way to your tongue.
“I…” you started, the worry growing back on his face at the sound of your hesitation.
Before you could finish the thought, a loud DING! rang out through the quiet car, making you both jump.
“I thought you said your phone was dead?” You questioned, more edge to your tone than you’d meant, frustration over the interruption seeping into your words.
“Sorry,” he mumbled, “I just wanted more time with you.”
“It’s okay,” you said, a bit non-committal in your forgiveness. “Who is it?”
Rafe sighed as he retrieved his phone from the cupholder, reading the most recent message.
“It’s Top,” he answered, “he’s saying we should get back to the house but won’t say why. So dramatic.”
You chuckled softly, relief washing through Rafe at the return of your smile.
“We should probably go then,” you said, “if for no other reason than I’m nosy and want to know what’s going on.”
He nodded slowly, hands reluctantly letting you go “we’ll come back to this, though, right?”
You knew he meant more than just the kiss and your intimate position in Carter’s front seat. He meant this; the big ‘What Are We?’
Never in a million years would you have guessed that he’d be the one posing the question, or that you’d have this hard of a time coming up with the answer.
(Chapter 8: part two)
a/n: entering my 'posting what's ready when it's ready and not caring about word count' era, welcome!!
please note, i've closed the taglist for this story. to be first to know when i post please follow @whytheylosttheirminds-works and turn on notifications 💘
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron fic#obx fic#drew starkey#rafe obx#rafe fanfic#rafe fic#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron imagine#obx#outer banks#outer banks fic#topper thornton#x reader#rafe x reader#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron fluff#don't call me kid#topper obx
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whenever you had a nightmare, gojo would always be there to comfort you.
you hated them with a fiery passion, how you’d abruptly wake up from sleep with pure confusion and fear. violently shaking, on the brink of tears with feeling your heart steadily beating out of your chest. it hurt, it always hurt. but no one knew how to deal with them except for gojo.
“heyy, hey. relax, angel,” a soft voice would bring you back to reality, instantly calming you down. his words were always so soothing to hear. “it’s just another dream. you’re okay, we’re okay,” and two strong arms pull you close. his balmy warmth was always your favorite to feel against your skin. gojo still hears the shakiness of your shallow breath as you tremble within his tight secure grasp. your head buries into the center of his chest before he gradually starts to rock you back and forth. “just breathe.”
you were still quite tired, your eyes were struggling a bit to keep themselves open, growing hooded and drooping low. as you start to relax from his pacifying rocking, you let off a elongated sigh that’s been waiting to release from your lungs. “i- it was just a dream?” you murmur, a cracking tremor underneath your sweet tone, a brow quirking into a furrow.
“yes. but you’re okay. i’m here. ‘toru’s here,” he kisses the top of your forehead with that same cheeky smile you’ve grown to fall in love with. you look up with glossy eyes as you’re trapped in his embrace, crystalline cerulean irises shining so bright in the dark that they could be mistaken as green. gojo cups your cheek for a moment, a rotund thumb tenderly stroking against your warm temple. “it’s always just a dream, baby.”
until it wasn’t.
you could stay like this forever.
just happily being entrapped in your lover’s arms. gojo always knew the right things to say to calm you down, to ease you. you were his person and he was yours. all it really took was a few silent minutes of him rocking you back and forth and your eyes would soon gradually close. he’d watch you go back to sleep, brushing a few tresses of hair away from your eyes. as he’d watch you succumb back into your long awaited slumber, gojo would shower a few chaste kisses near your forehead, letting the final words you’d hear was how much he loves you.
but your nightmares progressed as the nights went by.
and this time—your nightmare felt a bit too real.
like usual, whenever you woke up your body would feel between a mixture of cold and hot. a frigid sweat runs down the nape of your neck as you jump up, hearing your frantic heart beats pump straight through your ears. it’s loud, a blaring loud sound that you couldn’t seem to stop. your room was dark, pitch black from your lamp being turned off. as you’re panting, heaving for your breaths to slow down, you’re waiting for those words to come.
“it’s okay, it’s just another nightmare.”
“just breathe, you’re okay. we’re okay.”
you’re waiting for those same words from gojo, you’re waiting for his arms to wrap around you, his soft plump lips kissing against your forehead.
but those minuscule details never came.
you sit up, feeling around your bed with a clammy palm — reaching around near his side of the bed.
to your shock, it’s surprisingly cold. almost as if no one was even sleeping there. within an instant, confusion shoots through your brain.
he was always here,
he promised he’d always be here.
but now he’s not.
“s- satoru?” your voice calls out, though it’s practically already broken. the surreal nightmare you just endured still had you quite shake up. perhaps you were in a dream within a dream. yeah, that had to be it. perhaps.
alas though—that wasn’t the case at all.
you take a long pause once your call of his name was met with gut-wrenching silence. it’s a hurtful pause that makes you bite the inside of your cheek in dread.
you didn’t want to come to reality, you didn’t wanna realize that perhaps just maybe this wasn’t even dream at all.
the harsh reality that you were so scared of facing was real, and the real nightmare was that gojo satoru, your lover, was long gone.
he said he’d win his last battle but he didn’t.
the real nightmare was that gojo satoru — the strongest, was gone and you were all alone. .
#★vegasbaby.#gojo x reader#gojo angst#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo x y/n#gojo x you#jjk angst#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jjk#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojou satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#gojou satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jjk imagines#jjk drabbles
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just a little fluff + angst scenario i wrote because we don't have enough content of logan x reader looking after laura and the three of them forming a family.
english isn't my first language. marvel masterlist <3
—laura, go back to the couch —. logan grunted.
she had opened the door to your room and her head was peeking out. her big brown eyes stared at you. you were in bed, tucked in, waiting for logan to lie down next to you. the dim light from your bedside table was the only thing lighting up the room.
—don't make me tell you again, kid.
—it's fine, lo —. you grabbed his arm and stopped him as he was going to the door to close it. logan huffed. —is everything okay, laura? —you sweetly asked the little girl.
she simply stood in the doorway, biting the inside of her cheeks. laura looked at your bed, if logan lay down there wasn't much more space left but if you squeezed in a little bit maybe she could… logan called your name and shook his head. the little girl looked at you from the door with big dark eyes, glossy with exhaustion and decorated with small dark circles underneath them.
the night before logan and you woke up to her screams. you ran to the living room, followed by him, both scared that the men who wanted to hurt her might have entered your house. but laura was having a nightmare. when you knelt next to the couch and shook her gently to wake her up, she pulled out her claws in panic and cut you on the arm.
you hissed, watching as the blood began to run down your arm. she was more terrified by what she just did than you were.
it's okay, i'm okay, laura. look, it's nothing. are you okay? were you having a bad dream?
the girl nodded to your questions, her eyes could only stare at your arm, bleeding nonstop. logan knelt next to you and grabbed your arm to take a better look. he then looked at the girl, you could see on his face that he was angry. you put your other hand on top of the one he had holding your arm. i'm okay you assured him. his expression relaxed when he realized that with your eyes you were asking him not to blame laura. he walked you to the kitchen to clean your wound and then covered it with a bandage.
it wasn't her fault, lo. you told him and he looked at you in disbelief. he went to your room without saying a word to laura and you kissed her forehead after tucking her in. no matter how much you assured her that you were fine and that it had been an accident, laura didn't sleep at all that night, thinking that she had hurt one of the two people who cared about her the most.
but this night she was at your door as you looked at logan with your lips pressed together. he called your name again. —don't —. he spoke firmly. but how could you say no to the little one? she hadn't asked you anything yet you knew exactly what she wanted.
there was a few seconds of silence.
—you wanna sleep here? —you finally asked.
laura nodded and logan grunted. she was quick to enter the bedroom and close the door behind her. she was wearing a t-shirt of logan's that she almost dragged on the floor. she liked his t-shirts better because they were bigger and she could curl up in them while sleeping.
she went to lie down between the two of you but logan was quicker and took her place. laura huffed and you rolled your eyes. it was like dealing with two small children. but there was no way he was going to sleep apart from you, not even separated by an eleven-year-old girl.
laura ended up curling up next to you in bed and before turning off the light, you made sure that she was well covered by the blankets. she subtly moved closer to you, hiding her head in your chest, and she did not take more than five minutes to fall asleep. you didn't take long to fall asleep either, following the girl's deep breathing and playing with her hair.
the next morning logan was the first to wake up. your back was against his chest, one of his arms was hugging you against his body. well, one of his arms was hugging you both against his body. his arm not only reached you but laura too, who lay with her back against your chest as you hugged her from the back.
as he went to get up to make breakfast, he felt how some small fingers closed around his big ones and kept him from getting out of bed. he looked at the little girl sleeping peacefully, letting you be her big spoon while she held logan's fingers tightly in her hand.
he lay next to you on the bed again, he could afford to stay there a little longer just to spend some more time with his two girls.
#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool and wolverine smut#logan howlett#logan howlett fluff#logan howlett angst#logan#logan howlett smut#logan fluff#logan angst#logan smut#wolverine#wolverine fluff#wolverine imagine#wolverine angst#logan imagine#logan howlett imagine#wolverine x reader#wolverine fanfiction#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x reader#hugh jackman#hugh jackman fluff#hugh jackman smut#x men#avengers#mcu#xmen smut#marvel#marvel angst#marvel fluff
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