#i just wanna give him a hot meal and listen to him when nobody else does | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sunmoonandeddie · 3 years ago

Text

and he kissed me right here

pairing: modern!bucky barnes x reader

word count: 6,100

summary: I've always been sure that all I ever wanted was a glamorous life.

warnings: Cuss words, mentions of the Afghanistan war (Bucky is a veteran), angst, happy ending, cheesy romantic confessions, age gap

a/n: This is based on the song 'Stars and the Moon' from Songs for a New World! It's the first one shot in my musical series! This is written in first perspective, but there is no physical description or use of a name in this!

Twenty-Two

I sighed as I tossed a few more dirty plates into the dish window, wiping my brow. After a shitty dinner rush and an even shittier rush around two in the morning consisting only of drunk ass college kids looking for some sort of carb to suck up all the alcohol in their systems, I was ready to go the fuck home.

“Sweetheart, you head on home now,” the head chef insisted as he watched my head nod slightly as I tried my best to fight off sleep. “Ain’t nobody comin’ in before Melissa gets here. No point in you staying on your feet any longer.”

Louis was a godsend. At sixty-seven years old, you’d think he would rather be anywhere but a diner at almost four in the morning.

“Nah,” he had said when I’d asked him a few months after I’d first started. “My Ginny died a few years back, and since she’s been gone, I don’t really have the stomach to sit around that house all alone.” He had laughed, but there’d been a deep sorrow that had come over his deep brown eyes. “Kids are worried, but… Sleeping the day away is better than laying up at night staring at her side of the bed…”

“You sure, Lou?” I asked even as I headed for the back room where all the employees clocked in and kept their possessions in their own little cubbies. I did my checkout in view of the security camera, just like always. I didn’t want anyone to be able to say I stole anything.

Everyone who knew me knew that I wouldn’t, but I’d worked at two many places where the girls tried backstabbing each other and sabotaging everyone else to get them fired.

Though people were a lot nicer in Louisiana than any of the other places I’d lived.

Louis chuckled as he set a to-go box in the window, nodding towards it. “Mmhm. Long as Buck is getting you home safe.”

I gave him a joking eye roll as I took the to-go box gratefully, grinning at my name written in all caps with green Sharpie on top. “You know you don’t have to make me dinner every night.”

“Yes, I do,” he said, shooting me a look. “How else do I know you’re getting enough food in you, huh?” He pointed his rag at me. “Now you go ask him to get you home. Tell him I said he can clock out, and that he’s supposed to text me when he sees you safe inside. You better not say you’re gonna ask him again just to walk yourself home.” The old man shook his head as I headed for the back door, muttering to himself, “Damn girl thinks I’m gonna believe she’s feeding herself good enough when she’s risking her damn ass walking home alone.”

Despite the fact that I’d put off asking for Bucky Barnes’s service, I really did appreciate how fiercely Louis cared about me.

It had been a real long time since anyone had cared so much.

I hesitated at the back door of the diner, my hand resting against the cool metal.

What if he said no?

Granted, he most likely wouldn’t. But what if he said yes, and he secretly thought me some dumb little girl that couldn’t take care of herself?

What did I care if he thought that?

“I don’t care what he thinks of me,” I huffed as I straightened my shoulders, holding my chin a little higher.

“Stop talking to yourself and get going!”

I jumped in surprise, before shooting a glare in the direction of the kitchen. “Stop listening in on my private conversations!” I demanded before storming outside with new found vigor.

Only to freeze when Bucky looked up from where he was sitting on the curb, smoking a cigarette.

God, he was handsome.

“You okay, doll face?” He asked, his New York accent a sharp contrast to the southern drawls you were used to.

“Um… Y-Yeah,” I said faintly, glancing back at the door that I’d come in from. “Um… L-Louis wants me to ask you… Can you walk me home? Or give me a ride? I don’t… I don’t know if you drive…”

“I do drive.”

“O-Oh. Okay. Great.”

“But I don’t have my car on me.”

I peered at him curiously. “Oh. Um… I can just walk by myself. I don’t wanna… I don’t wanna be a nuisance…”

He stood up, tossing his cigarette to the ground and stomping it out. “Don’t be ridiculous, darlin.’ Come on. I’ll walk you.” He shoved his hands in his pockets as he began to head for the street. “Besides… It’s a real nice night.”

“Oh…,” I said in surprise at how ready he was to be of service. “Okay. But only if you’re sure.”

A faint smile graced his lips as he glanced at the ground, letting out a faint chuckle that rumbled deep in his chest. “I’m sure, darlin.’ But you gotta lead the way.”

I was surprised by the rapid pitter patter of my heart beat as we walked side by side down the street, the chorus of ‘Yellow Brick Road’ getting stuck in my head on a loop.

Bucky was an enigma that I found myself wondering about more often than not, but I always ended up talking myself out of going there. After all, he was an older man. A much older man. At least fifteen years older than my own twenty-two years, or something along those lines, not that he looked it. The man looked like some kind of rugged Greek god. Like Hades if Hades was born in the eighties. His dog tags clinked together under his shirt as we walked, his metal prosthetic glinting in the moon.

“So how did you end up in NOLA?”

It took me a moment to even realize that he was talking to me, my heart skipping a beat and my face going hot in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” I asked.

His bright blue eyes flickered over to look me over. “How’d you end up in New Orleans?”

“I actually don’t know,” I snorted, avoiding his eyes as I kicked at a few broken up pieces of asphalt. “I just… Picked a bus ticket and ended up in one of the Carolinas. Then I picked another bus ticket and ended up in Minnesota. And then I picked another, and another, and another, and then I actually just… ended up here.” The months I’d spent alone on those Greyhounds felt both so long ago and also like it was just yesterday. “The diner was the first place someone recommended for food that’s good but cheap, and as I was eating my mountain of cheese fries, I saw the flyer that said they were hiring. So here I am now…”

“Huh,” he said, his brows furrowed. “I didn’t take you for the type of person to run off on your own… riding buses all over the country…”

Head tilting to the side, I gave him a long look. “You didn’t? What kind of type did you peg me for?”

Bucky gave me a long look, a single brow raised as though silently telling me that I jumped to conclusions. “Just that jumping from place to place can take a lot outta someone,” he said slowly, his voice low and soothing. “Hell, if you were my girl—” He broke off as his cheeks flushed a pretty shade of pink, his long hair falling in his face.

I swore my heart had stopped inside of my chest, and I swallowed thickly around the lump in my throat. “Oh?”

He rushed to try to correct his wording. “I-I just mean, a lady should be comfortable. And if I had a g-girl like you, well… You’d never want for anything,” he stammered, stumbling over his words like a flustered school boy. “Hell, I… I’d give you the stars and the moon…”

I was shocked into silence, staring up at him like he was the sun itself. “Bucky…”

“No, no, don’t say anything. I… I know that was a lot,” he insisted quietly, unable to meet your eyes as he stared up at the shitty apartment building you called home. “Hell, you probably don’t want a gross old man hitting on you.” His metal hand, glinting in the low light of the street lamp, reached up to brush against my cheek for just a moment before it quickly dropped. “Just let me walk you home each night so I can make sure you’re safe, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I breathed out, unable to take my eyes off of him as he took a few steps back.

There’s a somewhat playful smirk on his lips as he watched me stumble up the steps, continuously glancing back at him. “Goodnight, baby doll.”

“Goodnight,” I said, barely audible before I finally headed inside.

Bucky kept his word. He walked me home every night, and honestly, there wasn’t a moment that I wasn’t thinking about what he had said, about if I was his girl.

What if I was his girl?

But… with that meant I’d have to give up the life I’d dreamed for myself. I wanted luxury, to never worry about bills or where I was gonna get my next meal or if I could afford to buy the nice work shoes or if I could only get the cheap ones that would fall apart in three months and then I’d just be right back where I started.

I wanted the life that celebrities lived. Hell, I wanted to go to parties on the same yachts the Kardashian-Jenners did, even if I couldn’t fucking stand them.

And with Bucky… I wouldn’t have that.

“So why’d you go on the run anyway?” Bucky asked one night as we sat on the curb, eating ice cream in the Louisiana heat. “I know you told me how you got here, but you’ve never told me why.”

“You’ve never told me how you ended up here or why either,” I shot back, nudging his shoulder with my own.

Somehow the age difference seemed non-existent as we sat there. Honestly, I felt like we were just a bunch of dumb teenagers, shooting the shit and enjoying each other’s company.

Bucky took in a deep breath, his shoulders sinking in a way that made it look like he had all the weight of the world on his shoulders. “I was over in Afghanistan for a long time,” he admitted quietly. “When the war first started, I was 19. I had no idea where my life was going and I had no options except my dad’s mechanic shop. So I enlisted with my best friend, Steve. The one I told you about.”

It’s completely silent except for the sound of an occasional car horn off in the distance.

“Neither one of us knew what we were doing. We realized very quickly that we had no reason being over there, but… but there was nothing else,” he said, swallowing around the lump in his throat. The ice cream he was holding was melting in his trembling hands. “I didn’t know how to do anything else, so I stayed. Steve moved up in the ranks, but I stayed pretty low… I didn’t mind. Kinda liked being the older guy all those young kids could talk to, could rely on… Because they were just like me, getting into a fight that wasn’t theirs because they had nothing else.”

My heart was shattering inside my chest as I scooted a little closer, my knee knocking against his as I tried to give him some sort of silent comfort. He’d been through Hell and made it through.

Bucky let his head rest against mine, his eyes closing as he breathed in the scent of my perfume. “They eventually moved me to some kind of specialized team… Called us the Howling Commandos. I found out that Steve was heading it and he picked me to be part of it. That’s how I met Sam, because he was on some sort of similar team with the Air Force, except it was just him and his friend, Riley,” he continued, taking a bite of his chocolate fudge brownie ice cream. “I am proud to say that I didn’t kill a single person while I was over there. I just couldn’t. Hell, they’re people just like me, terrified and unsure of what’s going to happen.” His lips pressed against my forehead, letting it linger. “But then about five years ago, I was on a mission with the Commandos, Sam, and Riley, and… this bomb went off while we were playing a game of soccer. I wasn’t even in a fight. That thing took my arm and it took Riley.”

Tentatively, I let my fingers find his, holding his hand and squeezing reassuringly.

“Sam decided to come home with me.” There was a forlorn look in his eyes, as though he was right back at that game of pick-up soccer. “After losing Riley… he couldn’t find a reason to be over there. And then Steve decided to stay, and hell, he’s still over there, leading that fucking team…” Glassy baby blue eyes finally found mine, the both of us doing our best to not cry. “I couldn’t face my family for a long time, so Sam asked me to come stay in Louisiana with him and his family, and I haven’t left since.”

“Have you gone to see your family?” I asked slowly, almost like I was scared I’d frighten him if I spoke too loudly, like a wild animal. “Let them know where you are? That you’re safe?”

He turned to look at me, his baby blues shining. “You worried about me, baby doll?”

“I can’t help it,” I said honestly, unable to tear my eyes away. I hadn’t opened up to someone like that in so damn long. “I can’t help but worry about you.”

The way that I felt about Bucky absolutely terrified me, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. It snuck up on me, like a train coming around a bend.

I hated it.

“What do you want out of this life?” Bucky asked on one walk home, his arm linked in mine. He’d become so much more… tactile. If anyone took a moment to look at us, they’d think we were a couple on a romantic stroll.

Perhaps we were.

But I couldn’t help but grin as I looked up at the sky, taking in the warm air. “I wanna live like how the movie stars do… I want a big house on the beach and twenty cars and a yacht and… and…”

He looked at me long and hard. “And you never wanna have to worry about where your next meal is coming from, if you’re gonna have a place to sleep at night…”

For some reason, I’d felt a bolt of panic over whether or not he’d understand. Whether or not he’d think differently of me, but I should’ve known that he wouldn’t. Hell, he knew me better than anyone else.

“You understand,” I said quietly, my hand squeezing his bicep gratefully. “I want to live how the other half lives for once. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”

A small smile graced his features as we shuffled along. “There isn’t. But… What about love?” He asked.

“Love?”

“Love.”

Love.

Could I even have love? Did I want it?

“I don’t know if there’s a lot of room for love in my plans,” I admitted after a long moment. “In my experience, love has always just been a lie. A word used to manipulate and eventually abuse.”

Letting out a snort, he let his fingers tickle down my tricep until his fingers intertwined with mine. “I’d show you it’s not… I’d show you what real love is,” he said. “I’d give you every part of me, give you all my strength to help you grow into who you wanna be, even if I don’t particularly care about being famous or rich…” He brought my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles. “I’ll give you a love story, a life, that’s a million times better than any recycled Hollywood plot… I’ll give you the stars and the moon, if you would just let me.”

I hated the way that he made my heart beat faster, the way my breath hitched. “Jamie,” I breathed out quietly, the two of us having stopped in our tracks to just… take each other in. Live in each other’s presence for a moment. “I…”

“You want a big life… one a lot bigger than little old me,” he said simply, shrugging. His blue eyes were so honest, so loving. So warm. A warmth I hadn’t ever experienced before. “I know. But that doesn’t change that I’m in love with you. And if you ever change your mind…” Bucky reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card, pressing it into my free hand. “This is where you can find me. I figure it’s time for me to go home.”

We’d come to a stop in front of my building, and I was shocked at how tight my chest felt. My eyes watered as I stared at him long and hard. “Jamie, please… I⏤”

“Don’t say it. It’s okay,” he insisted as he cupped my cheek, letting his thumb run over my skin as though he was memorizing it. “I just want you to be happy, darling. You got that?” His lips pressed to my forehead, letting it linger. “Go get that life you’ve been dreaming of.”

Twenty-Three

I left New Orleans the next day, grabbing a bus ticket after throwing all of my belongings into my old duffel bag. It was time to move on.

But God, did it hurt.

I didn’t stop crying for weeks, fighting the urge to go right back to Louisiana and tell Bucky to take it back, to get him to beg me to stay with him.

But what kind of life would that leave me with? Working in the diner day after day? Never getting anywhere?

But you’d have James, a voice inside my head reminded me snarkily.

Then again, he most likely wasn’t even in New Orleans anymore, if what he said was true when he gave me the business card of his father’s mechanic shop. Was he really planning on going home to New York City?

A few months later, and I’d worked my way all through the southwest to Santa Fe, where I met Pietro.

My heart was pounding as I pressed in the familiar numbers, having memorized them from the business card now soft and faded from how often I held it in my hands like a lifeline. “Come on… Pick up… Pick up…”

“Barnes Tires and Motors, this is George,” a man said in a gruff voice when he finally picked up. “How can I help you?”

“H-Hi, is James there? James Barnes? Bucky?” I stammered out, hands trembling so bad that the old payphone was almost rattling.

There was a pause, and then muffled talking away from the phone.

And then I heard it being picked up. “This is Bucky,” he said.

It felt like the wind had been knocked right out of my lungs. How had I gone so long without hearing his voice?

Breathing in sharply, I tried to figure out the words to say. But my throat was dry and it was like I’d suddenly forgotten the entire English language.

That was all that it took for Bucky to realize it was me. “Baby doll? Baby doll, is that you?” He asked quietly. “I…” He took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. “You don’t gotta say a thing, sweetheart… But just know that if you’re in trouble or you need help or… or anything at all, you better call me…” His voice wavered, as though he was fighting tears just like I was. “God, I miss you so much, baby doll. I love you.”

I love you, too.

I hung up before I could actually say the words. “God, I’m so fucking stupid,” I whispered as I leaned back against the wall of the gas station I’d found myself at, rubbing the heels of my hands into my eyes.

My dumb ass had decided to wander from the bus station, and I’d walked over a mile away. Unless I was staying in Santa Fe for a bit, I’d need to start making my way back.

“You okay?”

In my distress, I hadn’t even heard the rumbling of the motorcycle or noticed the handsome man making his way to me. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine,” I said even as I wiped my nose with a pathetic sniffle.

He eyed me for a long moment, his eyes roaming over my figure. “You hungry? I know a great little place nearby. My treat.”

And well, I was never one to turn down free food.

Even if that ‘little place’ ended up being a food truck.

“You know, when you said it was a little place, I didn’t picture it having wheels,” I said teasingly, licking salsa off of my lower lip. “Though, it is the best food I’ve ever gotten from a food truck before.”

“Oh, come on. This is the best food of all time!” He laughed, shaking his head.

“I don’t know if I’d go that far,” I snorted, finishing off my flautas.

Pietro looked at me long and hard. “So, are you gonna tell me what the hell was going on to have a pretty girl like you all teary eyed?” He asked, his head tilting to the side.

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “Was this your plan all along?” I asked. Wiping my hands off on a napkin, I did everything I could to avoid his eyes. “Get me all fed and then question me?” But at the same time, the thought of being able to finally talk to someone about it was so appealing… After a long moment of hesitation, I finally gave in. “I fell in love with a man, and he let me go because he knew that I want a life he can’t give me,” I said. “And I was a bitch who didn’t even tell him I love him back when he said it to me.”

Pietro took in a deep breath, slowly letting it out. “Damn. You really are a stone cold bitch, aren’t you?”

“Hey!” I indignantly threw a chunk of tomato at him, glaring. “I just opened up my heart, you dickwad.”

“Dickwad?!” He said, blinking at me in shock. “No one’s ever called me a dickwad before.”

I raised a single eyebrow at him. “Maybe not to your face, but they definitely have.” He gave off the vibe of a fuckboy, of a really, really bad fuckboy.

“Well, since you’re running away from your feelings, how about you spend a week or two with me on the road?” He asked with a grin.

I couldn’t help but blink at him in shock. “What?” I let out a laugh, pulling one of my legs up to my chest. “Do you throw that line out to every girl you meet? Or am I just special?”

Pietro threw a chip at me, and I barely managed to dodge it. “No, I don’t. But… You remind me of me. Needing adventure. A life bigger than four walls and a fence.”

Instinctively, I wanted to snap back that sometimes, four walls and a fence could be an adventure, could be the biggest life there was, as Bucky’s face flashed across my mind.

But I couldn’t do that. Not when I wasn’t ready to face the truth myself.

“Come on, sweet cheeks,” he teased as his foot hooked around mine. “Just think of it. The open highway, a rhythm beneath your feet… Nights full of passion and days of adventure…” Pietro’s voice was deep and husky, as though he was trying to lure me in. “No strings… just warm summer rain soaking us to the bone before we find some cheap motel to huddle down in…”

Plastering on a smile, I stood up and brushed myself on. “Thanks, but… I’d rather be drinking champagne, and the quicker I get to LA, the sooner I will be.”

He let me go with a kiss on the cheek and his cell number pressed into my hand, with a promise to come and pick me up the second I rang.

And despite how sweet he was, how wild and funny and charismatic, there was only one man I wanted to call.

Twenty-Four

I sipped at my martini as I sat at the rooftop bar, absentmindedly watching the television that was mounted on the wall as people droned around me. I’d been in Los Angeles for a year, and I’d spent my time finding the best places to find a husband who could give me the life I dreamed of.

As much as I didn’t want to admit it, it took connections to build a career, and the best way to get a foot in the door when nepotism was so rampant was by marrying someone in the industry.

My silk dress was the most expensive thing I owned, something I’d saved up for months for, had skipped meals for. And fuck, was it worth it. I could feel the stares, the lingering gazes on the little bit of thigh that was exposed by the slit in the dress.

I’d already turned away several men, able to tell just from their expensive watches and cheap suits and shoes.

It was amazing how all the up and coming finance bros thought they fit in with the truly big dogs.

“Well, hello, gorgeous.”

I turned to see who was speaking, my heart skipping a beat when I realized who I was speaking to.

The world famous (or infamous) director, Tony Stark.

“Hello, handsome,” I said smoothly, my lashes fluttering innocently as I took a sip of my horrible drink.

I fucking hated martinis. Always had.

But ordering a martini was more sophisticated than ordering a frozen strawberry margarita.

“Is this seat taken?” He asked as he motioned to the empty bar stool right next to me, even as he was already sitting down. “Let me buy your next round.”

“I can’t think of anything better,” I said, feeling as though my dream life was already in reach.

Twenty-Eight

“Tony, where are you taking me?” I laughed as I let my boyfriend lead me to the private dock at our Malibu mansion.

Well, his mansion. I just happened to also live there.

It had been a whirlwind of a year since I had met Tony, and he’d bought me that second round. He’d taken me all over the globe, anywhere my heart desired.

But I made sure to avoid New York City, though he never understood why. I would never tell him.

Not when I was so close to my dream. I could practically taste it.

“Come on, come on. I have a surprise for you,” he said, keeping his hands over my eyes. He was sure to keep me from tripping and busting my ass, thank god.

The ocean waves were so comforting as they hit the shore, a sound I’d gotten used to over the past year.

He finally brought me to a stop, quietly telling me to keep my eyes closed. “Okay,” he said finally. “Open them.”

My eyes slowly opened, adjusting to the bright light of the California sun. But I was more shocked by the sight of Tony on one knee in front of me, holding out a box with a sparkling diamond ring in it. “Tony?”

The ring was the size of a fucking meteor. It was easily the biggest ring I’d ever seen.

“You know, I never thought I’d meet someone like you,” he said quietly, his dark eyes shining. But his voice was steady. “Someone who understands me, who doesn’t expect me to change into someone I’m not. You accept me as I am, and that’s why I want to give you the world.” He couldn’t help but grin as he nodded to the right. “Starting with that yacht you’ve always dreamed of.”

I hadn’t even noticed that there were two yachts at his private docks instead of just the one. The new one had SS Princess emblazoned on the side, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh… Tony…”

“So, what do you say?” He asked, bringing my attention back to him. “Will you be my wife?”

“Yes.”

Thirty-Two

Swallowing nervously, I looked down at the business card in my hand for the millionth time, the stock paper soft from how often I’d looked at it in the past ten years.

Hell, just how often I’d looked at it in the past six should’ve made it fall apart by now. Not that I didn’t have it memorized.

I’d finally ended my marriage after being miserable for so long. I’d gotten my yacht, my fancy houses, my career, all the jewelry that I could dream of, and none of it made me happy. Tony and I… never grew. And I never dreamed. Every day was the same, and every day was torture as I realized that I didn’t have the one thing that actually mattered.

The garage in front of me was busy, music blasting and the sound of men shouting to each other as they worked.

Suddenly I felt absolutely ridiculous wearing a Chanel dress and Gucci heels, an Hermés bag on my arm.

BARNES TIRES AND MOTORS was lit up along the top of the shop in bright red letters, though the lights in the ‘r’ of ‘motors’ were out.

I felt like a fool. I had wanted the life I had so desperately that I gave up everything for it. I got the movie star life, my name on billboards and my face on magazines.

But it wasn’t ever enough.

My heels clicked against the blacktop as I slowly made my way towards the front area of the shop, bells clinging above my head to let them know someone was there.

“Can I help you, ma’am?” A man asked as he came around the corner.

He looked so much like Bucky, it punched the air straight from my lungs.

“H-Hi. I’m looking for James Barnes. Is he here?” I asked after a long moment of hesitation. There was no way that the man was Bucky, but I didn’t doubt he was related.

The man raised his brows, wiping his hands on a rag. “My son’s in the shop. I’ll take you to him.” His full head of hair was white, his thick facial hair matching. Even with all the wrinkles on his face, he was a handsome man. Holding open the door for me, he led me into the loud shop, some eighties rock song blasting over the speakers.

I couldn’t help but smile as ‘Rock You Like a Hurricane’ by Scorpions came on. It was one of Bucky’s favorites back when we worked in the diner together.

“BUCK! YOU GOT A VISITOR!” The man shouted, causing several people to look our way.

My cheeks felt hot as I avoided their gaze, hoping they wouldn’t recognize me. I didn’t want to be a famous movie star anymore, a celebrity that had to beg for scraps of privacy.

My mind went numb, my heart stopping inside my chest as he stepped around a gray Ford Escape another man was working on.

He was even more handsome than he was the last time I saw him.

“Can I help y—” He broke off, his blue eyes going wide when he realized that it was me. “Hi.”

All of a sudden, everything I’d planned to say flew out of my head. All of the eloquent words I’d strung together were gone. And I just proceeded to word vomit.

“Did you know that, uh, when you marry someone you’re not in love with, you won’t… you won’t grow into it?” I asked, my voice shaking. “Um… I married a man who could give me a life I thought I always wanted, and he just… sucked.” Eyes stinging, I fought back against tears. “And I thought that all I ever wanted was the life I have now, was the life movie stars and the Kardashians lived. But… But I hate it. I hated every second I was away from you.” I let out a weak laugh, unable to stop the tears. “I wanted to turn around the second I got on the bus in New Orleans, but my stupid stubborn ass didn’t. I should have. I should’ve gotten off and just run right back to you because I… I love you, James. I always have.”

The garage had gone almost deadly quiet, and my heart sank when I realized Bucky looked almost frozen in shock.

“I know that I shouldn’t have showed up like this,” I scrambled to say. “But I… I’ve been trying to get my divorce finalized for two years and I finally did, and I kept telling myself that once it was done, I’d never hold myself back from what I really want ever again. From who I want. If… If you want me.” My face felt like it was on fire, my hands shaking. I shook my head as I took a step backwards. “What am I thinking? There’s no way you’re not married. I… I’m so so—”

Before I could finish the word ‘sorry,’ Bucky had closed the distance between us, his hands cradling my face so gently. He held me like I was made of fine crystal as he kissed me. He kissed me like his life depended on it, like I was the one source of oxygen.

And I kissed him back just as fiercely. “I love you. I love you so much,” I breathed out in between kisses, unwilling to let him go as my Hermés bag fell into the dust and oil on the concrete below.

Bucky smiled into the kiss, his arm wrapping around my waist to keep me pressed to his chest. “I love you so much, darlin.’ God, I’ve missed you…” His nose nudged against mine as we finally broke for air, both of us breathing heavily.

My knees felt like Jell-O as I held onto him. His grip was the only reason I hadn’t fallen to the ground already.

“I’m sorry I was a dumb twenty-two year old,” I said, snorting as he stole another kiss.

“No… Don’t be sorry,” he insisted, his fingers massaging my scalp as our foreheads pressed together. It was like he was scared to stop touching me, like I would disappear at any second. “You were young… You had to go out and make your own mistakes… I’ve just been waiting for the day you were ready.”

All the years apart melted away and all that remained was the two of us, two souls so intertwined that there was no way to truly separate us.

Our lips were half molded together as I said, “I’m never leaving you again. I promise I swear on everything…”

My heart almost stopped inside my chest as I heard someone clearing their throat, looking to see Bucky’s father staring at us with his arms crossed over his chest. “M-Mr. Barnes, sir…”

He gave a crooked smile that was so reminiscent of Bucky that I couldn’t help but grin back. “The Mrs. will wanna know if you’re staying for dinner.”

“Yeah,” I said as I looked up at Bucky, toying with a strand of his hair. “That sounds perfect.”

Later that night, Bucky and I laid in his bed, a mess of bare limbs as his fingers ran up and down my back soothingly. “What do you want from this life, baby girl?” He asked absentmindedly.

Humming, I traced shapes on his bare chest, sometimes pressing a kiss to where his prosthetic met his shoulder, on the tender scar tissue. “You.”

A grin tugged at the corner of his mouth, despite the already mischievous look on his face. “Really? Not even the stars and the moon?” He asked teasingly.

I knew he’d give it to me anyway, give me all that he could. But I was sure now that the only thing I wanted from this life was his love. “Not even the stars and the moon.”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes reader insert

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notobsessediswear · 3 years ago

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Okay, so I have a sad Steve Harrington headcannon I would like to share here because people don’t wanna listen to me irl. Disclaimer and warning: I talk about EDs and depression so if any of that is triggering please take care; also these are all just my personal thoughts that I had based on my own personal experiences and I am not a professional so please correct me if I say anything horribly wrong

Steve has an eating disorder. I don’t think it’s as bad as like starving yourself, obsessively counting calories, or making yourself throw up but I think it’s there. The kind of eating disorder that makes the simple task of eating seem unappealing and if you do eat something it feels gross in your stomach and you immediately want to never eat again. Even your favorite foods sound gross. You don’t think it’s that serious because you are eating but not a lot. Like you’ll eat 3 meals a day but it’ll be the smallest portion possible and you’re full after 3 bites. It’s one of those things I that are always hovering at the back of your mind but you brush it off as nothing. Now I understand that this might be a bit of a stretch based on limited evidence but I feel like not a lot of people realize it. Example 1: I don’t remember the exact quotes but early on in season 3 when Dustin visits Steve at Scoops Ahoy Dustin’s is like, “you get free ice cream all the time; how awesome is that!” And Steve replies with something along the lines of “yeah that’s probably not a great idea for me, gotta keep in fighting shape for the ladies.” It seems like a joke that he usually makes but that look he gives is way too familiar. The “I don’t want to worry you but please notice that something is off” half smile look. I hope people know that “I’m not going to eat unless someone points it out and I need to eat but I really don’t want to” look. I don’t know if it’s me projecting onto a character I really like but it feels deliberate, the way that was played. And nobody even notices! Which clues me into the fact of 2 possibilities: 1. This isn’t new and has been going on for a long time or 2. Dustin is oblivious. I’m leaning towards 2 because Dustin worships this guy and pointing out flaws in your hero is hard. I love Dustin but sometimes I feel like he uses Steve as an example of what he wants to be and not his own person. Not only that but this was the 80s and even now people say things like “guys don’t get eating disorders” and living in Hawkins with the upside down and everything no one’s constantly worried about their friend’s eating habits or other issues that seem small compared to what they’ve been through so it can be easy to ignore. Example 2: here’s why I think Steve developed an ED. Steve has proven time and time again throughout the series that he thinks his worth is dependent on his looks. He thinks that people like him cause he’s hot and nothing else. And people keep proving to him that that is true even though it not. The kids look up to him because he protects them and takes care of them when he doesn’t need to and is genuinely a good person. But the issue is, nobody says that. When the only thing people tell you is that you’re pretty or popular or get all the girls you start to believe that that is where your worth lies and you do things to maintain that attention from people. @see_doubleuu on TikTok made a really good video about Steve’s loneliness. He doesn’t seem to realize that people value him as more than a pretty face and that’s proven in his conversation with Eddie in the upside down. He looks shocked when he finds out that Dustin actually sees him as a good person and it’s even more proof that he doesn’t think of himself as one. I honestly think he wasn’t at all in the wrong in Season 1. Now that’s a whole other post, but he’s constantly working to make up for high school and he clearly doesn’t think he ever will. His friends his age, with the exception of Robin, also seem to contribute a lot to his self doubt and hatred. For example, Nancy. When they were together, she called him an idiot multiple times, got mad at him for trying to protect her from Johnathan (who from his prospective was a creep who took pictures of her half naked through a window of HIS HOUSE that his girlfriend was cheating on him with), and never corrected him whenever he degraded himself. (Holy shit this is so long that it won’t let me go on. I’ll make a part 2)

#steve harrington #nancy wheeler #stranger things #fictional characters #character analysis #headcanon

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onionsoop · 4 years ago

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Late at Night /// Nanami x f!Reader /// (+18)

Summary: During a class trip to Hokkaido, you find yourself stuck in the same bed with Nanami which leads to some late night events unexpected events :0

Length: 4.5k

Tags & Warnings: Teacher x Student (Reader is 18), exhibitionism (kind of), voyeurism (kind of), fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, stupid “same bed” cliché, praise (kind of)

Authors Note: Hey everyone, I just wanted to let you all know that this the first fic that I’ve ever written and I hope you enjoy! I’m hoping to keep writing and posting more fics to this blog in the future for Jujutsu Kaisen, Haikyuu, and maybe some other fandoms. Anyways, thanks for reading and sorry for any spelling mistakes :) Oh, also there might be a part 2 for this??? idk, ill decide later on, not sure what direction I wanna take it in

The sound of the bus coming to a halt was what woke you up from your long and uncomfortable nap. You opened your bleary eyes to find the rest of the students in your class beginning to stand up and climb out into the cold and snowy outside. It had been a long trip, about eight hours and during that time almost everyone had fallen asleep. You had all left at eleven in Tokyo and due to being so far North, the sun had already set outside despite it only being seven. You picked up your backpack from where it was shoved underneath the seat in front of you and let out a sigh about having to get up and stretch your stiff legs.

As you filed into the line, you were greeted by a large slap on your back, “Hey Y/N, how’d ya sleep?” Nobara asked, giving you one of her signature grins.

“Fine,” you said rubbing your eyes, “though I can’t say that the bus window made a very comfortable pillow.”

“Well good thing we’ll be able to sleep soon. Hopefully, Gojou will put us together and won’t ruin our fun,” She said with a wink, receiving a small chuckle from you. Two weeks prior to the trip, Nobara had spent most of her time devising a plan to prank Itadori and Megumi while they were asleep. You knew she was counting on you to help her out with it, but you were a little unsure if you wanted to risk getting caught and excluded from the rest of the trip in order to fulfill one of her silly ideas.

Once everyone finally piled out of the bus, you were all led into the Dining Hall for a nice hot meal, a welcomed contrast to the freezing temperatures outside. You had never been to Hokkaido before and both the piles of white fluffy snow and the different array of hot soups and curries were new and exciting to experience. Dinner was overall jovial and chaotic, you sat with Itadori, Nobara, Todo, and Maki and you had all had a good time arguing about what activities you wanted to do in the next few days and which dish was the best. By the time dinner was over, you felt completely stuffed. During the course of the mea, you had eaten almost everything you could get your hands on and now felt more ready than ever to go to bed despite already sleeping on the bus.

Everyone was piled into the main lounge area of the dorm building to be sorted into rooms. You could see students shifting around trying to get closer together and counting the number of people between them to try and be spaced together. From the edge of the room, Nobara was making aggressive eye contact with you and beckoning you to come over, which you quickly did in hopes that you wouldn’t be stuck in a room with people you didn’t know.

At the front of the room, Gojou stood up and clapped his hands to get everyone’s attention. “Now everyone, as you probably know, there are going to be four people per dorm, no more, no less during the duration of our trip. In every room, there is going to be one chaperone and three students. There are only two beds per room, so you will have to share with somebody else or choose to sleep on the floor, it’s up to you. And finally, to your displeasure, we have already assigned who is going to be in what rooms.”

That final sentence caused a groan to come from the student body along with sounds of protest and arguing. Gojou ignored this though and pulled out a crumpled sheet of paper and began to read names off of them. Students all began to pick up their stuff and head to their dorms as they were called out, and as you all listened Nobara let out a groan as she was sent to a room with Inumaki, Panda, and Mei Mei. You waited on the floor still surveying who else you might be put with. The number of students in the room was dwindling and most of your friends had already been taken which sent a pang of worry into your gut.

“... and in room 6 there will be Itadori, Megumi, Y/N, and Nanami,” Gojou said. A momentary wave of relief washed over you after hearing that, you knew Megumi and Idatori semi-well, so it wouldn’t be too awkward of a time, but that feeling quickly dissipated as you remembered you were with Nanami. It was a well-known fact that about ninety percent of the female population found him attractive, and you couldn’t be excluded from that group. The pieces of the puzzle quickly snapped into place as you thought more about the room situation. You were the only girl in the group, which meant that there was no way in hell that they would be letting Itadori or Megumi share a bed with you.

You would be sleeping right next to Nanami. For the next four nights.

The walk to the room was only a chance for you to get more and more anxious as you thought about the upcoming events. Megumi and Itadori were cheerfully chatting in front of you, occasionally turning back to include you in the conversation or make a joke, but it didn’t help with the looming feeling of Nanami behind you.

You all arrived in the room and Itadori immediately jumped on the bed, messing up the sheets and knocking off one of the pillows, earning a sigh and displeased look from Megumi. Despite your nerves, you plastered a neutral expression on your face and tentatively walked over to the second bed in the room, setting your bag down and sitting down on the squishy mattress.

At this point, Itadori and Megumi were starting to argue, Megumi saying that he wouldn’t be able to sleep next to him if he was going to take up that much room while Itadori was doing his best to stretch all his limbs out across the full length of the bed. You pulled out your phone and tried your best to look busy. It wasn’t quite time for lights-out, but you still felt a bit nervous starting to unpack in a room full of guys, especially with one that made your heart race.

Nanami, in his typical fashion, had not said anything since being assigned to the rooms. You felt him sit down on the other side of the bed and saw that he was beginning to unpack out of the corner of your eye. You shouldn’t be so nervous, nobody else is, after all, Nanami was just going to be sleeping next to you, you had stood that close to him before on other occasions. It still felt different though… You quickly shut those thoughts out of your head as soon as they came in. He was your teacher, you shouldn’t be thinking that way.

To distract yourself, you unzipped your bag to go and look for your pajamas and toothbrush. You had packed a mix of cold and warm clothing for your trip considering you would be traveling all over the place, but you soon realized you had made a mistake with your pajamas. You pulled out the green shorts and tank top you had packed without much thought, despite never feeling this way about them before, you now felt that they might be a little too revealing for sleeping in a room full of guys.

You shoved the top back into your bag and opted for a t-shirt instead, which helped you feel a little less nervous about your situation. In order to get out of the room, and to hopefully talk to Nobara, you rushed into the girl’s bathrooms and let out a relieved sigh. This trip was going to be a difficult one to get through.

You quickly got changed in a stall and spent a large portion of time afterward talking with the other girls in the room. Many of them were complaining about who they got put in a room with while others were whining about not getting to stay with Gojou. Apparently, Momo was the lucky girl of the night who got to room with Gogou, Todo, and Mechamaru, but she didn’t seem to have much interest in her good fortune. Finally, Nobara slammed open the door to the girl’s bathroom and made her way over to you.

“I can’t believe this stroke of luck, you got a room with both Itadori and Megumi, that’ll be perfect,” She said with a devious grin on her face.

“I’m not really sure, do we really wanna risk the rest of the trip?” You said, trying your best to calm Nobara’s excitement.

“It’ll be fine, don’t worry. Plus, we can wait until the last day too, then they’ll have their guard down too,” she stated, nudging you in the arm after. You continued to happily chat with the rest of the girls and avoid going back to your room for a good half an hour, but, as expected, you heard Gojou come down the hall announcing that it was five minutes until lights-out. Most of the girls quickly began packing up their stuff and rushing out of the bathroom to not get in trouble and you figured you should do the same.

When you walked back to your room and pushed open the cracked door you were quickly confronted with your nerves coming back and a hyper Itadori. Megumi was in bed doing his best to read a book while Itadori was bugging him through multiple various and loud methods. You went back to your side of the bed and put your toothbrush and skincare away, laser focusing your eyes on anything that wasn’t Nanami.

The five minutes that you had before bedtime seemed to be over before you could even process it. For the first time that night, at least to your knowledge, Nanami finally said something, “Alright boys and Y/N, lights out.” Which earned a complaint from Itadori and caused Megumi to quickly jump up and shut off the lights, eager to have a chance to get away from him. You could see Itadori and Megumi start to bicker about the blankets and “staying on your side of the bed” as you pulled back the covers and crawled in between the blanket and the sheets. The bed was warm from the thick layered blankets on top and the fuzzy fabric it was made out of and as soon as you sank into it, your tiredness from the long day hit you like a brick. Despite that though, you still went stiff when you felt the bed shift from Nanami laying down next to you.

“If I steal all the blankets during the night feel free to take them back.” He said, making you jump and answer with a quick “Okay.”

Even after Itadori and Megumi had finally settled down you still couldn’t completely calm down. You were making sure to stay on the very edge of the bed to not accidentally make contact with Nanami, but it wasn’t a comfortable position. You thought he might be asleep already but you weren’t entirely sure, he hadn’t moved much from his original position either. You could hear Itadori’s snores from across the room and the constant shifting of Megumi who was currently covering his head to try and drown it out. After a while though, you finally felt yourself begin to drift into sleep, and you welcomed it.

It was the middle of the night. You don’t know what woke you up but you found yourself disturbed and rubbing your eyes in the pitch-black room. As your eyes were beginning to adjust though, you immediately froze. You found yourself facing the chest of Nanami with his arm under your head, you must have rolled over at some point in the night putting you right next to him.

The slight smell of aftershave filled your nose and you could hear him gently breathing with the rise and fall of his chest, he must be fast asleep. The loud snores of Itadori still echoed through the room but all you could concentrate on was the man in front of you. You had never been this close to him before, or anyone before, and your heart felt like it was about the burst out of your chest. You wouldn’t dare move in fear of waking him up and making the situation awkward, so you stayed frozen in your spot trying not to shake.

You couldn’t deny that you had thought about things like this before, the thought of being so close to him, having him touch you, and being able to feel him under your hands, but the prospect of having it actually happen was just too anxiety-inducing. You could feel your face going red as you thought about all the dirty things you had done before, and you felt a slight twinge between your legs.

You couldn’t. Could you? You hated the thought as soon as it entered your head, but that didn’t stop your hand from creeping between your legs and resting on your stomach. It was so wrong, he was your teacher, he was nine years older than you, but you didn’t want to stop. You would probably never get a chance like this ever again. You could even promise yourself to sleep on the floor the next three nights, but just this once, you wanted to risk it.

Your fingers crept down under the waistband of your shorts and panties and dipped into the slick folds between your legs. You tentatively put two fingers inside, never taking your eyes off of Nanami’s face, and began to pump them in and out. Your thumb found its place on your clit which you began to rub circles on. The sudden feeling of having your clit touched was enough to make you clamp your other hand over your mouth to try and quiet your breathing. Your first priority had to be staying silent.

You could feel your eyes beginning to half close as you gave into the pleasure, and they drifted down to look at Nanami’s chest and the sculpted muscles under his shirt. You began to move your fingers faster feeling your release on its way and you held your hand tighter to your mouth as your head became fuzzy. Small whimpers were beginning to slip out of your throat and you could feel your movements getting sloppier as you continued to speed up.

A hand wrapped around your wrist, stilling your hand.

You froze, eyes shooting open to find Nanami looking down at you with a weary expression. You opened your mouth to say something but nothing came out. Your brain was in a frenzy, you wanted to just evaporate into thin air or die on the spot, but you couldn’t do anything.

“What are you doing?” He asked with no hint of emotion in his voice.

“I-I’m sorry-- I--,” you couldn’t spit the words out, truthfully you couldn’t even think of what to say. You were caught red-handed and you didn’t think you would ever be able to make yourself forget the embarrassment you felt at this exact moment.

“Do you normally do this when you’re put next to your teachers?”

“No, I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’ll leave--” you stuttered out, trying your best to make the situation end as quickly as possible.

“So this is a special occasion then?” He asked, holding your gaze and not releasing your arm.

“N-No--”

“Which is it then? Do you normally do this or is this a one-time thing?” He said, interrupting you before you could spit out another pitiful apology. You tried your best to slow your breathing to get out a coherent answer, but it wasn’t working with the way that Nanami’s eyes were drilling into yours.

“I-Its a one-time thing, I-I’m sorry, I’ll go sleep on the floor,” you said trying to pull your hand out of his grasp but he didn’t let go. You felt sick, you shouldn’t have taken the risk, you knew that the mortification you felt would outweigh the pleasure you got from masturbating if you got caught.

“You’ll be left frustrated then.” He said. Everything he was saying wasn’t registering, all you felt was the panic in your gut and the need to get away as quickly as possible.

“T-That’s fine, I-I don’t care,” you quickly spit out, feeling tears pricking at the corner of your eyes.

“Are you sure...? ...I’d be willing to help,” he said, keeping his voice low as to not wake Itadori and Megumi.

“I--.., w-wait, what?” You said, the meaning of his words finally hitting you.

“I would be willing to help, I don’t want one of my students feeling pent up and unsatisfied.”

“I…” you didn’t know what to say, you were so shocked by the whole situation that the thought of answering was even too much. He pulled your hand up from under your shorts and out into the open where evidence of your actions was clearly visible on your fingers. His gaze dropped back down to your face expecting a response. You opened your mouth to answer before diverting your eyes and opting to give a small nod.

Nanami’s hand landed on your hip and slowly made its way down under the waistband of your shorts while the arm that was under you came down to reach around your back and pull you closer. You could feel his fingers brushing past your stomach as they trailed closer to your dripping wet cunt. Your breath was caught in your throat as you felt everything that was happening, you had to be dreaming, there was no way.

Nanami’s fingers finally reached your entrance and he slipped one inside of you, causing you to let out a small gasp and cling onto his shirt. His fingers were much larger than yours and could reach places that you couldn’t yourself, making you tighten up around him. It was truly torturous as he began to move his finger inside of you, the friction on your tight walls and the adrenaline from the whole situation was enough to make your head fuzzy and cause a small whimper to come out from your sealed lips.

You could feel him pulling you closer as you held onto his shirt and arched your back from the pleasure. He was already going at a gentle and agonizing pace inside of you, but when he added a second finger it was what threw you over the edge into a shaking mess. You were no longer able to control your breathing and keep quiet so you threw a hand over your mouth in order to stifle your moans and whimpers.

“Getting close?” he asked, whispering into your ear making you shiver from the feeling of his breath on your skin.

Without thinking, you whined out, “Y-Yes, b-but I want more, I-I need you inside of me...”

As soon as you said it you knew you had gone too far. Here Nanami was, fingering you and holding you close to help you cum, and you had the audacity to ask for more. His fingers stilled inside of you and you tightened up at the feeling of them sliding out, leaving you empty. Nanami put his hand under your chin and tilted your head up to look him in the eyes.

“Then climb on,” he said, making your eyes widen.

You took your hands away from their place on his shirt and began to unsteadily move yourself on top of him. At that same time, he had his fingers hooked around the waistband of your shorts and thoroughly soaked panties and was pulling them down your legs. You positioned yourself on top of his lap, your thighs on either side of his hips. You had your hands braced firmly on his chest, trying to hold yourself up, but you couldn’t manage sitting up more than a few inches. Under your bare pussy you could feel his hard-on through his pants and you were trying your best to keep your hips still and not grind on him.

His large hands began to pull his pants and boxers down and you lifted your hips to make it easier, but when he had finally removed them you couldn't hide your surprise about his size. Apparently, the look was written all over your face because a hint of a smile was on Nanami’s face and he grabbed your hips to keep you steady.

“You were the one who said you wanted more, sweetheart. You haven’t changed your mind right?”

You dryly swallowed and quickly shook your head no. Even if you were worried about being able to take him, it didn’t mean that you weren’t going to try, especially when one of your wet dreams was playing itself out in real life.

Nanami slid his hands around your hips and under your thighs to help position you above his cock. You could feel yourself beginning to shiver with anticipation just by looking down at what you were going to take in your tight, dripping pussy. The need to be filled up by him was becoming overwhelming and he was taking his sweet time with looking at you and lowering you onto him. When the tip finally touched your entrance you let out a whimper followed up by a pathetic “please.”

“Please what? I wanna hear you say it.” Nanami said, bringing a hand up to stroke your cheek.

“P-Please fuck me, I-I wanna be filled up so badly,” you said, your voice barely more than a whisper. Finally, you felt him start to enter you, your walls painfully stretching to accommodate his size, and you weren’t able to stifle the high-pitched moan that escaped your lips when it happened. Your vision was getting blurry and your arms lost the strength to hold you up anymore, causing your head to smack into his chest. You heard Nanami curse at the loud noise you made and you felt his fingers force their way into your mouth and down your throat, forcing you to keep quiet. He continued to push your hips down onto him, earning a few whimpers and causing you to grip onto his arm. Despite your heavy breathing, he didn’t give you much time to adjust to his size, you could feel the painful sensation of him pressing up against your cervix as he held you down along with the feeling of your slick beginning to coat both of your thighs.

His grip tightened on your ass as he began to lift you up and down, you tried your best to help by moving your hips but you didn’t have much strength left in your legs after being so close to cumming earlier. The feeling of him stretching you out and rubbing against your slick insides would have ordinarily caused you to make moans that could be heard through the walls, but the combined force of using all your willpower and having two fingers shoved down your throat was enough to reduce your noises to just quick and heavy breathing. The wet sound of you bouncing on his dick was the only noise that could be heard throughout the room and it was enough to make you tighten up around him, causing Nanami to shut his eyes and get a concentrated look on his face.

In a hushed and deep voice, Nanami asked, “Can you keep quiet sweetheart?” which you quickly nodded to. As soon as he had removed his fingers from your mouth, leaving a trail of saliva behind, your hand was back over your mouth and you were biting your lip hard enough to draw blood. His free hand brushed a piece of your hair behind your ear before making its way under your shirt. You felt him grab your chest and begin to pinch your nipple between his middle and index finger, making your job of staying quiet much harder than before. The feeling of having your chest played with sent waves of pleasure down to your crotch, only causing you to feel yourself get wetter and closer to orgasm. The pace he was fucking you at wasn’t ruthless, but it was slow and powerful enough to make you feel your release building up inside of you, every thrust made it a challenge for you to hold on and not completely give in. You could feel that he was close too, his movements were getting more erratic and you could see the sheen of sweat on his face in the dim light of the window.

You took your free hand and moved it up to his face, brushing your fingers past his cheek and sliding them into his hair. You didn't feel like you would be able to hold on much longer and your eyes began to cross as you let yourself fully give in.

“Cum with me sweetheart, okay?” He said, looking up at you through lowered eyelids. You nodded with what little energy you could and prepared yourself for what was next. His hand moved from its spot on your chest and went down to help fuck you faster on his dick. The pace quickly picked up and you could feel that your pussy was going to be bruised in the morning from how hard he was going. He reached his thumb down to your clit and began to move it in circles like you were doing before, causing you to gasp and grip onto the hair that was in your hand.

It took all your effort to keep in your moans and whimpers as you reached your climax, feeling your cunt spasm around him and the words “good girl” falling from his lips. Your vision went blurry as he continued to fuck you through your orgasm and cum inside you, filling you up with his hot sticky liquid.

When you regained your focus, you were both a gasping and sweaty mess under the covers. His hands had moved to rest around your back and hold you against him and his cock was still sheathed inside of you. You didn’t have any energy to move and simply let your arms fall limp on the bed, savoring the afterglow and the feeling of his cum starting to drip out of you.

You felt immensely tired and could feel your eyelids wanting to close. You felt Nanami place a kiss on top of you head which caused a faint smile to form on your lips and you wrapped your arms around him, ready to fall asleep exactly where you were resting on top of him.

As you gave one last look around the room though, the last thing you saw before you drifted to sleep was Itadori staring at you wide eyed from the other bed.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #nanami #nanami kento #nanami x reader #smut #jujutsu kaisen fanfic

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thecrimsondandelion · 3 years ago

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i wanna write an Uptown Girl au for Reddie

as much as i wanna do mechanic Eddie, tall pretty wealthy Richie to go with the music video (that could perhaps be an Arthur au)

it’s just more likely to be Richie pining after wealthy businessman Eddie, who took over his fathers business when he was 21, grew up with good money. or something else idk

i like the idea that Richies wanting to open up his own music store, selling records, cassettes, instruments etc. He works in a bar, a coffee shop, and does ghost hours at a local radio station, trying to keep a stable income (and the cat that i demand he have, who he rescued and has high vet bills)

Beverly and Stan are very dubious, poke fun, bc Eddie wears designer shit, gucci shoes, watches that cost more than they make in a year combined. he’s prim, his hair is always combed to perfection,

and Richies got a pair of converse that he’s owned for 4 years, wears thrifted patterned shirts, and mostly eats ramen and frozen pizza, since he has a lot of shifts to cover

maybe he eventually cooks dinner for Eddie (bc Maggie taught him to cook growing up and he’s good at it), and Eddie has no idea how to cook bc he’s never had to learn, he can eat out as often as he likes, and has always had somebody else cook his meals

all of Eddie’s relationships are/have been materialistic, they strategise, it’s like pride and dang prejudice trying to match make into wealthy relationships, and he’s still in the closet, seeing guys behind his mothers back. all of them trying to buy Eddie with expensive gifts, but never really giving their personal time

Richie’s heart thumps whenever Eddie walks into the room, he just thinks Eddie’s the prettiest, and sweetest guy, even if he is a little out of touch

and it makes him super insecure, bc he can’t really give him much. his apartment is the same size as Eddie’s living room. when he does take Eddie home, the hallway is musty, a couple downstairs are screaming at each other, Richie has to wiggle the door handle to get in, and he can tell Eddie’s on edge, even though he’s trying to be polite

and Eddie loves it, he’s never had somebody really listen to him, or actually want to spend time with him. not try to buy him. he prefers cheap pizza and netflix on Richies couch over an impersonal dinner where the portions are too small for what they cost, while they talk about their parents’ careers and business

Richie takes Eddie out to a bar with Beverly, Stan and Patty. pulls him out to dance, he drinks mediocre rosé, he lets Richie kiss him hot and messy against the wall

maybe one of Eddie’s ex’s outs him to his mother, and tells her about Richie, and she loses it. threatens to cut him off, won’t allow him to run Frank’s business. and Eddie panics and acts cold like he was at the beginning, and breaks things off, bc he thinks his responsibilities lie with his mother, with the business his father owned that he hates

maybe he feels guilty and tries to give Richie a bunch of money, to pay for vet bills, help Richie with his career, to get a better apartment. and Richie blows up, gets angry bc he doesn’t want Eddie money, that’s never what he wanted

which baffles Eddie, he just wants to help, so he tries to get Stan and Bev to convince Richie take it, and Stan gives him an absolute verbal bollocking

he goes back to the stuffy office, his mother pushing women on him. the guy who outed him tries going back to Eddie, to convince him to take him back, it’s been months since he broke up with Richie and the penny drops

and some big dramatic reunion happens, i don’t want to make this post too long, he gets rejected at first, Richie won’t hear him out, that he’s dropped everything. and he goes to convince Stan and Bev to help him get another chance

it works, and eventually things work. Richie teaches Eddie to cook, and they adopt a kitten, and they open that music shop together

i’m determined to write this, even if nobody will read it. but also this might not be coheret

#if anybody wants to share thoughts or ask in depth questions pls do #i just didn’t want this being too long #have a few notsfw-ish thoughts for it #reddie #reddie au #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #stan uris #beverly marsh #losers club #it 2019 #richie x eddie #the losers club #it chapter 2 #it au #long post

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theficplug · 4 years ago

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l Sunflower Vol. 6 l Harry Styles l

Harry Styles x Black Reader

Warnings: none , pure fluff

[harry and reader feels like it’s just time to let the world know.]

As Harry was coming to an end of an era with the Fine Line album. Sunflower Vol. 6 was the last of the bunch to receive a visual to the groovy almost psychedelic track.

You remember when the idea of the song came up. You had explained where your nickname Sunflower came from.

-flashback-

He was sitting on the couch in your shared home with his guitar resting gently across his chest playing the same melody and humming sunflower to himself while watching the rain fall down heavily through the cracked window.

The slight breeze coming through blew his disheveled hair around. Harry had been up all night saying that he didn’t wanna forget the cords and the rhythm of the song that was still coming to him.

You quietly walked down the stairs to find him still up humming and tapping along to the beat as he tried to get into the groove.

“I didn’t wake you, did I?” he asks quietly as he sits the guitar aside and opens his arms for you.

“No, but the cold giant you shaped empty spot in the bed did. Tea?” you ask chuckling softly before handing him the mug in your other hand and kissing the top of his head.

You had also brought blankets with you and draped it over the both of you while settling onto his lap and resting your head on his shoulder. You watched as he instantly relaxed and settled back against it at the sound of your voice. Placing a gentle kiss to your forehead he accepts the pink mug.

“Thank you love.” he says quietly to you before trailing his hands up and down your leg gently as he takes small sips of the earl grey.

“I love nights like this. It reminds me of growing up back home. My mama would yell at my dad and me for dancing around in the rain.”Don’t come in here asking me for vapor rub and soup when y’all are coughing up a storm”. She would say with her face all scrunched up. But we knew it was from a place of love because every time she’d end up running out to joining even if only for a few minutes and she had an umbrella. But the deal was that I couldn’t complain about being woken up at 5am to get the hot comb before school. She knew she couldn’t resist dancing to My Girl with us. To our neighbours who were always in our business we probably looked like a bunch of maniacs just laughing and being happy to love and be loved. ” you explained to him and he would chuckle softly and tell you about how he wished he knew you when you were kids.

He swears that he would’ve known then that you were it for him.

“I was 6 years old when I got the name Sunflower. As usual it was my mother, father , and I sitting on the porch. I was just sitting eating sunflower seeds and staring out at the rain. Waiting for my father to set up the radio and put our favourite songs on. We ran out onto the grass and as he twirled me around. My father said to me “you’re my sunflower because you always grow towards the sun and bring such a light to our lives. Becoming your parents was the best day of our lives. Getting to see you grow is the small moments of magic in this life. That’s how I knew you were the one for me. Because he didn’t think anyone was good enough for me, but when he met you and you actually got him to laugh with you and say yes to proposing to me. I knew this was it.” you explain and laugh at his expression.

“Bae, are you tearing up?” you ask as he leaned over to kiss all over his face then peck his lips.

“I’ve just got something in my eye. That’s all. I just can’t wait to share how much I love you with the world. I want them to feel that when they listen to this album.”

“And they will” you reassure him

-present-

After over a year and a half of dating and being engaged you knew that it was time to share it with the world. There was only so much can take after 10 years of speculations. He was more than ready to tell everyone that there was only one woman he wanted to spend his life with.

He’d like to have a meal with a childhood friend without him being painted as a cheater on someone he wasn’t even dating in the first place.

A sigh of relief washed over you both when the video finally wrapped. You remember telling Harry that if you were going to be a part of this video you wanted the entire crew to be black or at least of colour.

“Those are my rules , Harold. I wanna put my people on, and no offense baby but can’t nobody white touch this fro. I haven’t let anyone besides my mother do my hair since I was a little girl. You got me? ” you expressed to him and he nodded because he had already had the idea in mind knowing he wanted to put his money where his mouth is with supporting black creatives.

He began searching social media for black hair stylists, videographers, directors , and everyone else that would be needed to get the project done.

Now it’s less than 24 hours before the world would know about what has been sweetly yours for a little over a year.

From what you could tell a lot of people assumed that his album was about exes or previous relationships but on the contrary he had actually written one song for closure about a past situation. The rest of the entire album was essentially about you,and how he fell in love with your kindness and how much he adored you. Some of the fans who listened closely picked up on the line in Adore You. ‘Your wonder under summer skies. Brown skin and lemon over ice’ . It was about the vacation you two took a few months before the pandemic right after he wrapped on his newest film. He swore that your mahogany skin glowed under the warm July sun and against the cerulean coverup. That man looked at you like someone told him that you were made out of pure gold. Thus sparking his first track on the album, Golden. You two were even papped together while on the beach with your families but of course most just assumed that you were a family friend. It seemed to be a trend when he’s photographed with a woman of colour before but he reassured you that he was single when he asked you on a date the day he met you at the farmers market.

-flashback-

He tumbled over his words while trying to ask you about what kind of jam you would recommend for him to bring home to his mother.

“I’m gonna be at her home for the weekend and just thought that I’d bring a few things for breakfast while I’m there. Yours caught my eye. Are these little sunflowers all over the jars?” he asks as he bends down to inspect them.

“Yeah , you like it? It’s kind of my brand. It’s been a bit of a slow day. I think it’s because it’s gonna rain. Never one to be scared of a little rain. I can tell that this is gonna taste far better than bringing home a jar of Nutella.” you say to him with a small smile on your face.

After grabbing a plastic spoon for him to try out peach, strawberry, and cherry. He ended up purchasing several jars of all 3, but the cherry jam was his favourite and blushed the entire time you scooped the spoon in his mouth.

“What’s it like to be so lonely like this? I feel like it would be difficult to not be able to be out with others because you don’t want them to have to go through all of this.I feel like even though someone’s “famous” you’ve got to at least treat people with kindness and some level of respect. ” you say to him as the people pushed their way over to your boutique once they realized who was standing there.

You didn’t even really know who he was because you hadn’t been into One Direction in their prime. So, you knew he was a big deal from the whispers and people walking up to him and asking him for pictures and practically offering him their entire supply. But you just knew him as the dorky slightly awkward and weird cutie standing in front of you in the giant sunhat and pearls that stuttered while trying to tell you about his time working in a bakery before they came over.

“It’s alright. You kind of just learn to adapt to all of it after 10 years. . I worked there for like a year but we never had anything that tasted this good!” he admitted and you would giggle softly at the complement and give him your number on the receipt. You could see him doing a little shimmy while waving the number in the air.

-present-

You think back to the conversation fondly before Harry’s low and soothing voice snapped you out of your thoughts as he peeks his head into the room to ask if you want to see the finished video.

You followed him to his little makeshift studio in your home and take a seat on his lap so that you both could see it.

Harry had come up with the concept of you being a sunflower and him being like a bee because he swore he was drawn to you from the first conversation you two had ever said.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his head on your side. He was already trying to hide his smile as the video started with you in a canary yellow dress that flowed over your body making you look like a sun goddess as you twirled with the sunflowers in your afro.

You soaked in the sun and swayed to the music before Harry came into focus.

You remember that day his mother and your parents were on set because they were going to make a cameo at the end and both of your mothers had been behind the camera giving you both thumbs up and standing with their hands over their hearts the entire time.

Harry dances across the screen dressed in bumblebee-esque colours with the black and yellow as he danced around you and you looked over at him wide eyed before moving away from him. You followed the script and continued to dance around to the music doing your own thing as he danced around you to get your attention.

“You look so beautiful babe. Look at you! God damn I am a lucky bastard, aren’t I?” he says giddily laughing and smiling like a boy on the schoolyard with a crush.

“Oh stop, but keep going.” you say jokingly as you pat his thigh softly.

“I mean it. You could’ve gone on set just like this with no makeup and wearing this old shirt and looked like perfection itself.” he complements and it was your turn to break into a smile cause this man really was the sweetest little thing.

“Right back at you, sweet thing. I love how they cut your hair for the video. That was probably the best line up you’ve ever had. It was a game changer wasn’t it? You didn’t know black barbers are magicians.” you say giggling as you watch him prance around in the video in the yellow and black suit.

It comes to the part of the video where your parents and his mother both walk into the shot and your father takes your hand and dance with you as the mothers dance together.

Harry glides over to you and asks for your hand and your father puts yours in his.

He twirls you around as the parents look on and you both show your engagement rings to the camera and smile up at each other.

By the end of the video you and Harry blow a kiss at the camera before sharing a moment of pressing your forehead against his and the video ends.

You sniffle and dab at your eyes with a napkin from his desk and he turns to you before leaning into press kisses to your cheeks and lips.

“I love you and you know that there isn’t anyone else I would wanna tell the world about. It’s going to be just fine because I plan on making you happy for the rest of your life.” he reassures you and you nod before kissing his nose.

“What else can I say Harold? You went from being the awkward sweetheart that wrote me love letters and sung me to sleep when we couldn’t be together to someone I could not imagine life without. If people can’t see that there’s nothing but love and happiness here that’s their business. But this is ours.” you say to him knowing that it’s out of your element to feel so sappy but with him you just can’t help it.

The next day the video dropped along with the caption ‘it’s also our anniversary. So be kind or leave. All the love, H.’

The outpour of love and support from his fans and other celebrities was ridiculously overwhelming but well received as you made sure to make a small short follow up video thanking them for all of the love, well wishes, and compliments.

[ a little different for me but i hope you still enjoyed it to the lovely person who requested it !]

#harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles x reader #fanfic for black girls #fine line album

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skywalkerstyles · 4 years ago

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Kissing Lessons pt7

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader

Warnings: domestic violence, abuse, angst, fluff and more angst

I’m still in disbelief when I wake up the next morning. I look at my arm, it’s bruised, you can see the impression of his fingers. I put long sleeves on. When I look in the mirror I can see the bruises on my chin. I put concealer over that. No need to have anyone else worry.

Except Katsuki.

He saw the bruises. Does he know? I’m a terrible liar and I’m nervous to face him, but when Mei knocks on the door telling me breakfast is ready I take a deep breath and head out to face the music.

He doesn’t look at me, speak to me or acknowledge me in any way during breakfast. I try to act normally, but the tension radiating off of him is palpable.

“What crawled up your ass this morning?” Mei asks him, Katsuki shoots her a glare and says nothing. Nobody comments again after that.

I’m washing the dishes when he comes up beside me. He says nothing, just begins rinsing and drying them as I wash them. “What are you doing Y/N?” He asks me after his mother leaves the room.

“What?” I ask, unable to look him in the eye.

“You lied to me.” his voice is filled with hurt, I scrub the dish in my hand hard, trying to remain passive. “You said Ash wasn’t at that party...So what? You don’t trust me now?”

“I do.” he rolls his eyes, turning to face me, he places his hand on my wrist, and takes the plate from me, dropping it back into the soapy water.

“Then tell me the truth...Did Ash do this to you?” Before I can protest he rolls up my sleeve, his eyes widen in horror as he takes in the purple and blue markings around my elbow. I pull my arm away, rolling my sleeve back down.

“You already know the answer.”

“Yeah cuz you’re a terrible liar.” he lifts my chin gently, looking me in the eye. “Are you gonna see him again?” I pause, trying to think of what to say, but I take too long. He sighs, dropping his hand from my face. “Y/N….I know you don’t want me to tell you what to do-”

“Then don’t.” I turn around, flicking my hands as I march from the kitchen. I’m irritated. I just need to talk to Ash. Get his side of the story and everything will be okay.

“If you don’t slow down and think about this you’ll end up just like your mother!” That stops me immediately. His face is red, eyes troubled. He lowers his voice. “I don’t….fuck,...I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Fuck you.” I say. That hits him and I instantly regret the words. He looks heartbroken, unsure of what to say now. “Ash cares about me. He won’t do it again.” Katsuki snorts crudely and rolls his eyes again.

“That’s what they all say.”

Monday rolls around all to quickly. I’m nervous about what’s going to happen when I see Ash. I don’t know what happened after the party, if he even remembers what he did. My elbow still hurts but the bruises on my chin are fading. I see him as soon as I step inside the building. He’s standing by my locker, a box of candy in his hands. I try to smile but my face feels tight.

“Hey,” he holds out the chocolate to me.

“Hey.” I take the chocolate and open my locker. He shoves his hands in his pockets and leans against the lockers.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry….about the other night. I didn’t mean it….I really didn’t. I just….”

“It’s okay.” I pull out my history book, placing the chocolates carefully in the text book’s spot.

“No it’s not,” he shakes his head and lightly places his hands on my hips, I still at the contact. “I would never hurt you...I’m so sorry.” he kisses me, it’s mild and delicate, and not at all like the monster I met on saturday night. I decide to give him another shot. He pulls away and wraps his arm around me as we walk down the hall, kissing my hair as we go.

“Thank you for the chocolates,” I say as we get to my classroom. He releases me with a smile, kissing my hand. I love how affectionate he’s being.

“Meet me at my car after school. I’ll drive you home.” I give him a slight wave before entering the classroom.

The day passes quickly. I feel much better after talking with Ash, I knew I was overthinking things. Katsuki is waiting beside my locker. I look at him confused. I had already let Mei know I didn’t need a ride. Besides, Things have been awkward since the argument in the kitchen. I don’t really know what he wants at this point from me. I feel like he’s hot and cold.

“Ready to go home?” he asks.

“Ash’s bringing me.” Katsuki narrows his eyes.

“Absolutely not.” I scoff.

“You’re not my father.”

“Y/N.” he grabs my wrist as I turn away from him and pulls me close, his eyes are serious. “Y/N….He bruised you.” he whispers the last part. I pull my hand away, taking a couple steps back.

“Katsuki stop. We talked okay. It’s done. Let it go.” he opens his mouth to speak and I raise my hand. “Enough Katsuki. I’ll be home in a bit.” I leave him standing there at my locker, I don’t look back.

Ash’s car is parked at the far end of the parking lot. I hurry over to it, seeing that it’s running and he’s waiting for me. I open the passenger door quickly and got in, shutting it quickly behind me. He doesn’t say anything.

I turn to look at him, ready to apologize for making him wait on me. But I don’t even get the chance. He turns, an expression on his face that I have never seen before-distorted in anger- and backhands me across the face. The force sends my head slamming into the passenger window. He grabs the front of my shirt, bawling it in his fist and yanking me towards him.

“Where the fuck were you?” he snarls, his eyes are wild and I’m scared. I can taste blood in my mouth. He reminds me of my father.

“Katsuki-” I gasp. “He was-” he slaps me again, keeping his hold on me tightly.

“I am so sick of that dude I fucking swear,” he scream in my face. I am terrified. I stammer, trying to explain, he shoves me back, releasing me and putting the car in drive. He speeds off before I can even get my seatbelt on.

He rants, the whole way to my house. I cower against the door, hand pressed to my cheek. It stings.

“....And I don’t wanna see you talking to him again okay? I’m over it.” he slams on the breaks outside of my house. I jerk forward and slam back into the seat. My head is throbbing and I can feel tears burning against my eyes. He grabs my chin, very much in the same way he did Saturday night, forcing me to look at him. “If you just do what I say things will be easier for you.” he slams his lips against mine hard, I scream internally from the pain.

I quietly enter the house, listening for any hint of sound or movement. It doesn’t seem like anyone is home yet. I shut myself in the bathroom and flick on the light.

My cheek is pink, it may not bruise but my lip is swollen, blood trickling down my chin. The concealer I put on my chin has rubbed off, the bruise looks a bit darker. I lean forward in disbelief, touching my face and wincing as I do so.

“My god.” I mumble to myself. “My God….”

The cycle continues all week. Everytime I do something Ash doesn’t like, as soon as we are alone he hits me. He keeps telling me that things will be easier if I listen to him. I try to. I really do. But nothing I do seems to be good enough, satisfying enough for him. He brings me presents, apologizes, promises not to do it again, and then as soon as I do something.

The morning of homecoming, I wake up feeling anxious. I have a panic attack in the shower. I don’t tell anyone. I don’t really want to go at this point, even as I roll over and look at Mei sleeping away blissfully. I know I would have a good time if it were going to be just us….But it’s not.

I get out of bed and pad to the kitchen. Katsuki’s there, sitting at the kitchen table reading a book and eating cereal, he glances at me as I walk by but says nothing. I’ve caught him watching me quite a bit lately. It perks my curiosity, but I never ask him about it. I get my own bowl and pour my own cereal before sitting down beside him.

“So….”He says, trying to start conversation. “You excited for tonight?” I shrug my shoulders. I appreciate the effort, but I’m still angry with him for what he said about me being like my mother.

“Not really…”

“You wanna stay home?” I shake my head.

“Mei would kill me.” he smirks, nodding his head in agreement.

“Yeah. You’re probably right.” we the rest of our respective meals in silence. The awkward tension relaxing a bit.

By ten, Mei and I are huddled on the couch in the living room watching YouTube updo and makeup tutorials. Matsuki makes us lunch and we eat while we decide on our hairstyles. Everything moves quickly from there. Mei is blasting music so loudly it shakes the floorboards in her room. It’s a good thing their father is working today. We would have gotten into so much trouble.

Around four, we’re scrambling to finish, I try to put on my dress on in the bathroom, but Mei calls for help at the hair station, I open the door to sneak across the hall at the exact time Katsuki comes out of his bedroom too, and he gets an eyeful of me in a strapless black bra and matching underwear.

“Oh my god,” he says, and claps a hand over his eyes. “Will you put on some fucking clothes?” His cheeks flush bright red.

“You know not to come out when we are getting ready. What if I had been your sister.” he makes a disgusted noise.

“I need to go to the bathroom!”

I put my hands on my hips and wait until he lowers his hand, when he sees I’m still standing there he groans covering his eyes again, “Go away.”

“Why?” I smirk teasingly, taking a step toward him.”See something you like?” I feel bold, I know I’m crossing some line, but teasing him is too much fun to pass up.

He opens his eyes and stares me down, as if to say, Is that how you want to play this? And when I keep my stance, he accepts the challenge, his eyes wander all the way down my body and back up, resting for a moment on the fading bruise on my arm before finding it’s place on my face again. I suddenly feel very small, rooted to the spot as he steps closer to me.

He swipes my hair back from my face and whispers in my ear, “Thanks for the show.” I can feel him grinning against my cheek, like the little shit he is. It feels almost normal, like how we used to be. Before the kissing lesson. Before Ash. He steps around me, giving me one last look over before winking and going into the bathroom.

The boys will pick us up around seven. No one wanted to go to dinner first so we waited until it got close enough to just go to the dance. My dress is lavender colored, it looks like a ballgown. Mei wore it in a beauty pageant she was in a few years ago. It’s amazing it fits me, but I love it either way. I grab my wristlet off the bed in Mei’s room and head down the hallway, Katsuki sitting on the couch when I pass by the living room. He calls out to me.

“Hey.” I do a small spin, grinning at him. “What do you think?” he studies me, my hair and makeup, my dress. It feels like he’s staring at me forever before I finally get a response.

“You look….You look-”

“Hey!” I jump, turning to see Matsuki behind me. She’s grinning at me, it’s infectious. “Lookin’ good sister!” she pulls me into a quick hug. “Mei said the guys are here, they’re waiting for you.” I nod, throwing Katsuki a quick smile before hurrying to the front door.

I sit beside Ash in the back of Kai’s SUV. His hand squeezes my thigh hard. He’s angry I wasn’t waiting for him at the door with Mei. Katsuki had told him I was talking to Katsuki. He leaned over and whispered to me viciously, “When we get to this dance….” He doesn’t finish and I know what’s going to happen. It makes my blood boil. Katsuki’s words about my mother ring in my ears. He was right.

When we get to the dance I jump out of the car, slamming the door. Mei and Kai walk around the front of the car while Ash meets me behind it. He stands in front of me, towering over me. “I told you not to talk to that fucking guy. Why don’t you ever listen?” He pushes his forehead against mine. Hard. Fear rises like the tide,but I shove it down. I will not let him conquer me. I shove him away. He stumbles, caught off guard.

"I don't think I wanna do this anymore." I say to Ash. He looks surprised, taken aback. But I won't be my mother. I will be better than her.

"It's that guy isnt it? That Katsuki guy, Mei’s brother."

"No-"

"I've seen the way he looks at you. But you are mine. You belong to me." I grit my teeth, I have to be brave.

"I'm done Ash....I don't want to see you again."

"You want me to ask for forgiveness again? You're an ungrateful bitch you know that." He raises his hand and I close my eyes, waiting for the slap. Instead I hear the undeniable shriek of my best friend and the pound of heels against pavement.

"You don't touch her!" I look just in time to see Mei swing her purse at Ash, hitting him square in the face. He raises his arms to cover his face as she continues to hit him with it, screaming at him. “What the fuck is your problem?! Were you seriously bout to hit her?” Kai stands off to the side, clearly not willing to step into Mei’s path of rage.

“I wasn’t!” Ash shouted. “I wasn’t gonna-” she punches him, blood spurts from his fingers as he covers his nose with his hand. “Mother fucker!” he shouts angrily, stepping towards Mei.

“Hey man,” Kai does step in now, moving forward slightly. “I think you’d better go.” Ash glares at me for a moment, before turning around and walking towards the end of the parking lot. I’m shaking, my nerves on fire, I stood up. I actually stood up for myself.

Mei embraces me, wrapping her arms around me tightly. “Y/N. Are you okay?” she asks, pulling back to look at me. I nod and pull her in again, unwilling to let her go. I am so grateful to have her in my life. But I’m not much in the mood to dance and party now.

One of the teachers lets me use the office phone to call home. Katsuki agrees to pick me up and Mei sits outside waiting with me, sending Kai off to hang out with his friends. I tell Mei everything. She’s shocked and a little hurt that I kept it from her.

“You’ve been through so much shit Y/N,” she says in amazement. “I don’t know how you handle it.”

“I don’t really have a choice.” she smiles sadly, laying her head on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry you couldn’t tell me.” I rest my cheek on the top of her head.

“It’s not your fault Mei....Thank you”

“I would have killed him if I could have.” Katsuki pulls up a few minutes later. Mei hugs me once more before walking back into the auditorium. I watch her, to make sure she gets inside. The car is warm, no radio on as I climb in. Katsuki glances at me as we begin the ten minute drive home.

“That was quick.” he says finally. My forehead rests against the window, I watch the houses go by.

“Yeah.”

“What happened?’ He asks. I sigh.

“Ash was mad that I was talking to you when he came to pick me up. We got into a fight. He tried to hit me but Mei stopped him.” I explain how Mei hit Ash with her purse and finally socked him a good one. Katsuki smiles, proud of his sister. I feel a little better as we pull up in front of our house. He parks the car but neither of us gets out.

“I’m sorry Y/N….” I look at him, his eyes are distant, far off, he’s staring at the street in front of him. “But I’m glad you finally realize you deserve better.” He smiles, it’s small and beautiful. The adrenaline is still pumping through my veins. I lean over, placing my hand on his cheek, I tilt his face towards mine. His eyes hold a question, a curiosity. I answer it by pressing my mouth to his and kissing him as passionately as I can.

He’s breathless and wide eyed when I pull away. It’s a beautiful, satisfying expression.

“Yeah,” I trace his bottom lip with my fingers. He never takes his eyes off me. “I deserve someone like you.”

#bnha imagines #bnha scenarios #my hero academy fanfiction #my hero fanfic #my hero imagines #my hero x reader #bakugou comfort #bakugou katsuki #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugou x reader

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justice4harwin · 4 years ago

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Light’s Corruption-Chapter VII

Summary: With few friends at the Little Palace, Alina must work to win the favour of her fellow grisha and their commander, who makes her feel light headed every time she sees him.

After training in Os Alta for two years, the king grows tired of waiting and demands the Sun Summoner joins a western post near the Fjerdan border along with the rest of The Second Army to test her abilities.

Something happens. Suddenly, Alina wants blood to run down the rivers and those who stand in her and The Darkling’s way will be blinded by her light and swallowed by his shadows.

It won’t be pretty.

Pairing: The DarklingxAlina

Rating: 18+ (better safe than sorry, u know)

Anyone fancy a playlist?

As usual, the tags are in the comments; if you no longer want to be in the list or wanna be added, please don’t hesitate to let me know :)

Click here for chapter VI

Chapter 7: Within the Palace's Walls

Dear General Kirigan,

Dear General

Dear Kirigan

Dear Darkling

"Ugh!" Alina let her face drop on top of the paper, not caring if the ink got into her face, and groaned, loudly and at length. "Why?!" She asked into the nothingness of her room.

She had no reason to write to him. She knew he must've had frequent reports of the ongoings of the Little Palace, so she had no other excuse except to admit the truth, which was that she craved his attention, even if he was days away.

This was so pathetic of her; letting go of a life-long unrequited love just to fall into the arms of the first man who complimented her, even if she did feel a strange pull towards him.

What she needed was time for herself. Yes. She had finally said goodbye to Mal, falling for someone else so quickly would do her no good.

Oh, but Saints! The way in which he had kissed her, like he'd been waiting for centuries, like she was a treasure, like he truly wanted her. She had kissed people before, but never like that. She had enjoyed it, sure, but always stopped it before the clothes started to disappear. It usually bored people, but Alina didn't mind that much. It wasn't like when Genya was in the room while she bathed, helping her get to whenever she needed to be in time by pulling at the knots in her hair and handing her a towel. Genya was trustworthy, she was her friend and she had never given her one of those looks that had made her uncomfortable during her training at Poliznaya, nor made an unwanted comment or advance on her figure.

But The Darkling… That day, she had felt more than willing to let him have his way with her; nobody had set her body aflame the way The Darkling had done that afternoon a few weeks prior; she dreamt of it at night and woke up sweaty and hot, and it was a real effort to not daydream about it during her day.

General Imbecile Brute,

I write to you on this day to let you know of the first snow at the Little Palace. It makes quite the pretty paint...from the inside.

Also, I cannot stop thinking about you and your kiss, and I've been staring at the rose you gave me for such long amounts of time I fear my eyes will cross and I'll be stuck like that forever.

Please, tell me: do you feel the same? Mark 'yes' or 'no'.

Forever at your service,

Alina Starkov, Sun Summoner, Idiot.

Ps: You're not an imbecile, only a little rude; and you're not a brute, but some of your manners need polishing. Other than that, you're perfect.

Signed again,

Alina Starkov, she who lacks decency.

She looked at the letter, a low, prolonged, pitiful sound parting from her lips that turned into an animalistic groan. She grabbed the piece of paper, scrunched it into a small ball and threw it into her fireplace.

The snow covered the grounds of the Little Palace almost entirely, the lake would soon be completely frozen, and finalize the beautiful picture. Some Grisha were excited over the opportunity to skate. Alina had never done it, but Marie and Nadia promised to teach her.

From her horse, Alina moved uneasily. She still wasn't used to horse-riding, but Nina had invited her along with a few of her friends, who were all of different orders. It was a chance she wouldn't miss.

She tugged her kefta closer and held onto the reigns, advancing slowly along with the group, heading to the edges of the woods that surrounded the place.

A Fabrikator passed her a flask of kvas, and despite her dislike for the strong drink, Alina took it anyways and tried not to grimace as the liquid went down her throat.

If she were honest, she'd rather be inside the warm walls of her room in the Little Palace, chattering the afternoon away with Genya. She hadn't need to ask if the Tailor could join them at the stables; Alina was well aware of how little regard the other Grisha had for her -until they needed something-.

"I heard a few of you have been working on new keftas." she tried to make light conversation with the woman as she handed her her kvas back.

"Yes." she answered politely, "We're making a special fabric that should give us more freedom of movement during battle."

Alina rose her eyebrows. It wouldn't help her much if she didn't improve her fighting skills, but it was an interesting idea.

"How's it coming along?"

The woman tried to hide a grimace.

"It's complicated, but we're making some progress."

Alina smiled.

"Maybe you can tell me more about it during dinner." she suggested. "I, for once, would love a different type of trousers."

The woman smiled starkly, her blond hair getting on her face.

"They are rather stiff, aren't they?"

"I can barely flex my legs as it is."

The woman, whose name was Lada Alina remembered, agreed.

"I know. They're not suitable." she said in a strange tone, to which Alina gave her an odd, sideways look.

"Did you hear Zoya is back?" Fedyor interrupted, marching up to keep up with them.

Alina stared at him, groaned, and rolled her eyes.

"That's great." she said dryly.

Her absence was nice while it lasted.

"Maybe if I get under her skin and she attacks again, The General will send her off for a longer time. Or better yet, I could actually beat her."

Who was she kidding? Zoya was a formidable fighter, and Alina was just starting to win every now and then. Also, she suspected that Nina might have gone easy on her during their first sparring match a few weeks prior. She hadn't won against her ever since.

"Tell me about it." the woman in question said, rolling her eyes. "I don't understand her obsession with being on The General's inner circle."

"Says the one who is in the inner circle." Fedyor pointed out.

"Barely." Nina made a gesture with her hand, as if trying to rest importance to the matter. "Besides, it's not such a big deal. I don't know why everyone makes such a fuss about it."

"Well, the higher we are, the better we can protect other Grisha." Alina said, almost hesitantly. "I mean, if we have The General's ear, more ideas will flow about. I'm sure everyone has something to contribute to the cause."

"You don't need to worry about that, sun bean;" Nina smirked. "You're the Sun Summoner, it's likely he'll listen to you."

Alina's cheeks flushed as everyone in the group turned to stare at her.

"I think it's good to aim high;" Fedyor said, drifting the attention to himself, thanks the Saints. "As long as it's for the better of the Second Army."

Nina looked away and uttered something only Alina heard.

"Oh, yeah, betterment of forced servitude."

The Summoner stiffened on her saddle at the bitter words. Was Nina unhappy at the Little Palace? Why? She was one of the most powerful Grisha there; she lived in the most secured place in all Ravka, and her General held her in high regard.

A part of Alina wished she had never hidden her light. Maybe it would've been for the better to leave Keramzin, to leave Mal behind sooner.

It also made her think of someone who scarcely passed through her mind those days: her own mother.

She shook her head, ridding herself of such thoughts. She was thankful for the commodities and safe life she had at the Little Palace. Even if she was one of a kind, everyone else seemed to be adapting well to her, especially since she began to summon on her own and join in their little games by the lake.

She had been hesitant about it at first, but Genya insisted that going would be a great opportunity to both show her power and make allies.

"Besides, they won't believe you're a snob or a fraud if you show them a little." she had said, lazily lounging on a chair as they shared a nice tea one afternoon, while the queen took an especially long nap the very same day the Duke of Balakirev had arrived at court.

Lately, Alina felt more normal, and she was sure that her latest choices had a lot to do with it. From showcasing her powers, to sitting in different sections on different tables during meals and just talking normally about trivial things -even if those did exhaust her mind- and wearing an Etherealki kefta, she was more approachable, and the other Grisha seemed to slowly start to notice it too.

"It's not enough."

"We surely do deserve some more credit." she spoke, even if she didn't fully believe in the sentiment. The First Army was full of otkazat'sya, and they didn't have the advantages of bullet-proof clothing, private tents, furs for the winter and three decent meals per day.

It was all so difficult for Alina. She had once envied the advantages The Second Army possessed over The First, yet she couldn't deny there were other kinds of dangers for the Grisha, that not everything was perfect inside the walls of Os Alta.

Like the distrust of those who weren't like them, their fear, tamed only by their usefulness due only to the Black Heretic's greed.

All around her, her fellow Grisha nodded their agreements.

She wondered, briefly, what would Grisha life be like in Ravka if The Fold hadn't been created in the first place. What would happen if she ever managed to tear it down?

She didn't want to dwindle in those thoughts further.

With the Winter Fete approaching, everyone at the Little and Grand Palace seemed to buzz with all kinds of different energy. The servants were comprehensively nervous and stressed as they ran from one place to the other. Alina's fellow Grisha were either excited or indifferent, but none the less they all put the same amount of effort into practicing their yearly demonstration.

As for Alina herself, she had received the news that she was expected to showcase her power in front of the royal family and the other nobles of Ravka.

"The king wanted to throw a bigger party; invite diplomats from all continents and such, but General Kirigan insisted that it wasn't necessary yet." Genya said one afternoon, as Alina braided her hair.

She was seated very still, her eyes continuously darting from one side to the other as if trying to peek at her friend's work, concern etched on her face.

"He seems impatient." Alina commented, to which Genya huffed, accommodating her friend's new possessions on her vanity with a precision that seemed borderline obsessive.

"You have no idea. He can't wait to see the mighty Sun Summoner." she said, pouting and trying to imitate his deeper voice.

Alina frowned, said nothing, and continued braiding, her movements slowing but almost precise.

The Darkling

Miss Starkov,

Due to my sudden absence, I had no time to notify you that I shall oversee your training personally from now on.

Being far away, I do not wish for you to stall, so I leave you some instructions on what to practice and how, and a few reading recommendations fo-

He leaned back in his chair and sighed.

He was being a fool, and he hated it.

Writing to her with instructions on how to practice her summoning was a foolish idea. She was barely starting and needed overseeing, and the only one besides himself who could help her was his mother, who remained bitter at the woman. He really wanted to know what Alina had said to Baghra to make her so upset.

He almost smiled, feeling something wickedly, childishly happy in his chest at the possibilities.

Tossing the letter into the fire, he leaned back in his chair.

Teaching her through letters would only lead to disaster, but how else would he know about her? How else could he earn her trust while being so far away?

Pathetic.

"Moi Soverennyi." Ivan presented himself, bowing before further entering his tent. He offered him an envelope. "A letter from the Grand Palace."

The Darkling took it and quickly read it, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. Although he had convinced the king that inviting foreign diplomats was not yet a good idea, the stupid man insisted that the Sun Summoner performed alongside the other Grisha. Alina was finally able to summon on her own, but he knew a part of her still feared her gift; putting on a show for an audience was not the best idea.

He…worried? for her?

"We will have to be back in time for the Winter Fete."

Ivan grunted. "I hate that thing."

The Darkling nodded in agreement. After all those centuries, he was more than bored of them. It was always the same waste of time and resources for his army, only to entertain the nobles for a few hours. As if they would not go back to turning their back on them the very next day.

Those fools often seemed to forget that his Grisha could have them for lunch if they so wanted it.

Privileged as The Second Army may seem, people were wary of them, even the nobles who lived in the surrounding areas.

"But they will not attempt anything so long as they need us."

"We have little choice, Ivan."

"We could always host it near The Fold and accidently push the royal family inside it." he said, sardonic as usual.

"Tempting." The Darkling smirked, setting the letter aside with little care.

The Heartrender stepped aside to allow him out, and The Darkling marched towards the river, where a few of his fabrikators were working on a new skiff. It wasn't nearly as grand as the one Alina had boarded that fateful day, but that was due to a different purpose.

There was a strange device being placed underneath it.

"Are you sure this will work?" he asked Petya.

The woman hesitated for the briefest moment, and The Darkling reminded himself internally to summon new graves for his Grisha.

"Such a pity." he thought, sincerely.

"Yes. So long as the Squaller sets a slow pace and nobody exerts themselves too much, they should be able to pass in relative tranquillity."

He had a feeling it would not work. His Grisha had already tried several times to cross through the river, but David Kostyk was sure his new invention would cancel out the soft sounds of the skiff against the water and dwindle the sounds of a heartbeat.

"Do not expect the path to be clear." he said.

"That is exactly why we're going, sir." a Squaller, Igor, approached and bowed. "If this works and we can clear the path, we should be able to make it to the other side eventually."

"Let us hope it does not take too many tries." he said.

Too many Grisha lives, he had wanted to say.

"David is rarely wrong, Moi Soverennyi." Petya said.

That was true. David was one of his best Grisha, which was why The Darkling tried to keep him inside the safety of the Little Palace's walls unless absolutely necessary.

Still, The Darkling though the plan stupid and a waste; but it was either that or forcing Alina into The Fold, and she was far from being ready to make a crossing, even through its thinnest point up north.

As a Squaller, a Heartrender, two Healers and two Inferni boarded the skiff, followed by a few strong otkazat'sya men from the First Army, The Darkling thought of David.

He thought of Alina.

And his thoughts returned to David.

With a sharp nod, he sent off the small team to do their last test and headed back to his tent, where he began to write a letter addressed to Mr. Kostyk.

Click here for chapter 8

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone fanfic #alina starkov #aleksander morozova #darklina #darklina fic #alina x darkling #alina x aleksander #genya safin #nina zenik #fedyor kaminsky #david kostyk

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safetyhaxard · 3 years ago

Text

Do You Know Your Neighbors?

It was only midday, but the sun’s inescapable heat and glaring rays had already made the diner unbearable. It usually got hot around one or two, but today was supposed to be one of the hottest of the year. The Cook had a bandana tied around his forehead in a pathetic attempt to keep the sweat out of his eyes, but the waitresses had no choice but to wipe their foreheads with a spare napkin when they got the chance.

Well, it’s not like they didn’t have a lot of chances. At this time of year, most of the locals were out on vacation at the beach or a week-long tropical cruise. Sylvia was jealous of those who could go – her boss rarely let them take sick days, let alone vacations. Even when the tables were empty for hours, the bell on the door didn’t chime, and Cook stepped away from the grill because he had nothing to do. It was weird yet normal for the only cars in the lot to be Cook’s old Mustang that still shone like it was new and Sylvia’s beat up Ford. They’d listen to the second hand of the clock tick, the sound echoing against the linoleum, just to pass the time.

She didn’t know if the constant tick, tick, tick was better or worse than silence.

Jolene smiled weakly at her, noticing Sylvia’s blank stare and thinking she needed something (really, Sylvia had just been zoned out, feeling like she’d been in a trance from the hypnotic sound of the clock). “Sorry you gotta be here, hun. It’s just as dead as usual.”

“It’s fine,” Sylvia murmured. “It’s not your fault Boss thinks he’s God or something and needs to keep us in prison.”

Jolene chuckled at that – in the way someone laughs at you when they don’t find the joke all that funny. “God or summ’,” she repeated to herself, turning away to wipe some imagined dust off the counter.

Sylvia found herself watching as Jolene moved around the stools and bar. The latter was a curvy woman, probably what some would’ve called a ‘southern belle’ in her youth. Two kids and a husband who worked long hours wore her down, though, and her job was her only escape from that monotony. She often looked older than she was with the dark circles that colored under her eyes and the wrinkles forming around her lips. Despite that, she was almost certainly the peppiest member of the staff and subsequently got the best tips.

The bell chiming pulled her from her thoughts, and both waitresses turned toward the door, eyes flashing with curiosity and eyebrows raising in surprise.

A man stood next to the first booth, hands tucked into the back pockets of his jeans. He looked boyish, but he towered over Sylvia by at least a foot, thin and willowy. His blonde hair fell into his eyes, and it looked frizzy enough to indicate he probably had kept brushing it away and then given up. Once he noticed Sylvia’s eyes on him, he gave her a crooked grin and a little wave before tucking his hand back in his pocket.

“Can I help you?” Sylvia asked, putting on a bright smile and grabbing a menu from the counter. “We ain’t had many customers today, so we’ll have to brew a fresh pot of coffee if you’d like a cup.”

The man gave another toothy grin that stretched a bit too wide. “Aw, no ma’am, that’s alright. I’ll just take a water, please.”

“Comin’ right up. You can sit anywhere you’d like to, hun. We’re dead as can be.” Something about his smile had been off putting, sending a chill down her arms, but she kept up the cheery demeanor. Just ‘cause you don’t like him grinning like that don’t mean you slip up, Sylvie, she thought to herself.

“Thank you very much,” he answered, sweeping around to perch in the booth closest to the door.

Jolene had come back out from the kitchen where she’d been with Cook to see who Sylvia was speaking to. “Good mornin’ to you. What’s a young fella like you doing out here in the middle of nowhere?” Always the charmer, she could use that to snoop into everybody’s business when they came in – quite a talent, really. It made her a good gossip, which had both its perks and drawbacks for those she spoke to.

“Just passing through, ma’am.”

“Oh, no need for that. Just call me Jo.” She laid down a set of silverware and a handful of napkins, glancing up as Sylvia came back with a glass of ice water. “Got business in town?”

The man looked out the window, a not-quite-a-smile flashing across his lips. “You could say that.”

Jolene didn’t seem to notice his face. “Well, hun, a man like you’s gotta need a hearty meal, right? We’ve got a nice bacon cheeseburger meal, but if you’re looking for breakfast, I’m sure Cook wouldn’t mind grilling up some eggs for ya. What’s your name, hunny?”

“Randall Harrison, ma’am. That cheeseburger sounds real nice.” He ran a hand through his hair, most of it staying back but a few strands falling back into his face.

“You got it, hun. Jus’ yell if you need anything else.”

Sylvia followed Jolene back to the kitchen, the latter giving the ticket to Cook. “Don’t you think he’s a little young to be havin’ business? It’s a small town anyways, nobody wants to go there. Especially not this time of year.”

Jolene gave a chortle and nudged the younger woman with her shoulder. “Now don’t go all detective-y on the poor man.”

“It’s just a little weird to me,” she defended.

Jolene arched a brow at her. “Weird for somebody to wanna grab a bite in this heat?”

“I’m just saying—“

“For the love of all things holy, don’t go bugging ‘im.”

Sylvia stared at Jolene for a moment, waiting to see if she’d cave at all. When she didn’t, Sylvia finally answered, “Fine, I’ll leave it be.”

The pair looked over at Randall, who was now doodling on a napkin with a pen — who knows where he got the red ballpoint. His brow was furrowed in concentration as he glared down at his work.

“Go keep him company,” Jolene commanded. “He came out here lookin’ for a meal, not to be lonely.”

“Yes’m,” Sylvia grumbled in resignation, walking back to the booth.

Randall looked up as she approached. “What time is it?”

“Oh, it’s—“ a look toward the clock, the second hand still tick, tick, ticking— “11:36, hun. Somethin’ you’re waiting for?”

“Just a few more minutes, then.” He caught Sylvia’s eyes and grinned, but this time, the boyishness had disappeared from his face. The warmth of his smile didn’t reach his eyes, feeling forced and icy cold. A blink, and the look was gone, and he was back to doodling.

She swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. “What kind of business do you got in town?”

“Why’s it matter?” he asked her.

She shrugged, trying to be nonchalant. “Curiosity, I s’pose?”

He didn’t bother to look back up at her as he scribbled faster. “The important kind.”

“What does that mean?”

A deathly moment of silence ensued as he stared at her. It was a chilling kind of stare, the sort that makes somebody feel more like a mouse in an owl’s claws than a person. There was a knowing gleam to his eye, and though she was certain he couldn’t have heard the conversation from here, Sylvia felt that he knew what she’d said back in the kitchen. “You’re a bright girl, Sylvia,” Randall responded at last. “You’re suspicious of me, right? But your ditzy coworker there isn’t. Your cook probably isn’t, either. You wanna know why?”

Sylvia threw a look over her shoulder and searched for Jolene, wondering why the man’s food wasn’t out here already. Having someone out here, maybe he wouldn’t be saying such strange things. No dice, though — she couldn’t even hear her coworkers speaking to each other.

“Do you want to know why?” he asked again, more insistent.

“Yes?” she stuttered, hesitating before meeting his gaze once more.

He smirked. “Check what time it is again.”

“11:36.” Wait, still?

“Something about that doesn’t feel natural, does it?”

She jerked up from the seat, an invisible weight settling on her chest. “No, the clock is just… It’s just broken.”

“It always ticks. How else do you pass the time but to listen? This is the first time it’s been silent, isn’t it, Sylvia? Is the silence nice?” Randall taunted.

The waitress shook her head. “No, it has to be broken. That’s all.” I don’t care how weird it is, the clock is just broken. That’s how things go, they break. It’s not its fault for bad timing. It’s just a coincidence.

He stood up to face her, his height so much more than hers, making her feel scared and small and insignificant. “What more proof do you need? Do you want the sun to go dark? Locusts to swarm the windows? Do you want me to turn the water in the faucets to blood? Would you rather that I don red horns and fiery robes to prove to you who I am?”

A look at her hands showed her how badly she was shaking, tears welling up behind her eyes and knees shuddering against each other. “You’re insane. Demons don’t really exist, you’re just a person.”

Randall leaned in, an icy cool hand roughly grabbing her chin to yank her gaze to meet his. “You poor thing, telling yourself lies to make yourself feel better.”

“If you’re really a demon, why are you here?”

“To deliver justice.” His eyes seemed to flash red, and though Sylvia didn’t believe him, she didn’t think that she imagined the shift in color. “Do you know how awful the people in that small little town next door are? Liars, thieves, whores, murderers. The whole bunch of them. Men taking advantage of women for fun, teens getting high on the strong stuff, people in power begging for cash they don’t need, spouses with double lives. Why that town attracts those folks, I can’t say, but it does. A little haven where no one looks twice and everyone pretends they know nothing. I think it’s time that the lot finds out what karma waits for them, don’t you think?”

She was frozen in her slip ons, but Sylvia managed to gasp, “You’re lying to me. I know my neighbors, and none of them are what you’re saying.”

“Then you don’t really know them, girl. You’re one of the few innocents, but even Jolene and Cook aren’t. Have you ever met Jolene’s husband? She killed him last year in a rage before burying his body in the backyard. Have you wondered how Cook has such a nice house on the salary this place has? His brother is a drug lord, and in return for recommending his brother to any drug addict he comes across, he gets a good cut of it. Even your boss is an asshole - working you to death and further, all so he can take the profits and pay you barely enough to survive.” He finally released her chin, pushing her into a chair and just watching as she landed on its seat. “You’re blind to it all, but it’s time you figured it out.”

Sylvia watched as the man stalked back to where Jolene and Cook were, as she found herself glued to the chair and unable to even call out their names. Through the order window, she could finally see them, frozen in place by the stove mid conversation. Jolene’s mouth was open in what looked like a laugh, and Cook had a spatula still grasped in his palm as he went to flip a burger.

Randall reached them and reached a hand towards each, the air suddenly static around him. Two fingers touched both Cook’s and Jolene’s foreheads, and it was like the light and life was sucked from them. Both went limp but still stood, their eyes losing their shine and falling shut. Their skin dulled and hair lost its volume as Randall drew his hands away.

Finally, Sylvia was able to find her words, air rushing down her throat as if her chest was a vacuum. “What the fuck?” she yelled.

He quickly returned to her, standing solemnly over her. “I’m sparing you, Sylvia. You’ll find a good amount of cash in your accounts, and no one will ask questions. You go find somewhere else to be and a better job. Forget about this place and this day, and you’ll be just fine. Don’t do anything wrong, and you’ll never see me again.”

“Did you just kill them?!”

“I’m not going to kill you, so does it matter?”

“You killed them!”

Randall glared at her before turning towards the door. “Take my advice, Sylvia. You’re a smart girl. Do better.”

Her body shook so hard that the chair legs were clacking against the linoleum floor. “You just fucking killed my friends in front of me!”

With a sigh, he turned back around and touched two fingers to Sylvia’s forehead. The air was crackling again with static but subtler. “This isn’t your death. I keep my promises. You just need to relax and think straight.”

Her vision began to swim, then go dark. She swayed sideways before falling to the floor with a crack. Pain lanced through her head, a small cry leaking from her throat. She refused to succumb to the darkness, though, and kept her eyes trained on Randall’s figure moving towards the door.

What she didn’t expect, just as the darkness consumed her — horns seemed to sprout from his head and curl around his ears, bat-like wings sprung from his shoulder blades, and fire outlined each step as he lifted his foot from the floor.

He isn’t a demon, is he — he’s the Devil himself.

The door slammed behind him, and finally the clock began to tick, tick, tick again.

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freakie-deakie · 4 years ago

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Lucas // How To: Hurt My Feelings

tumblr only allows 10 images per post so i had to use my transition images sparingly, i hope it doesn’t make the scene changes too awkward. hope you’re all doing well, sending lots of love!

Warnings: there’s nothing too serious, but there’s a mention of toxic family relations and insecurities about friendships

Masterlist

Read Part 2 Here: How To: Kill an Idea

Lucas x Reader (angst // 9.6k words); ft. stepbrother!Johnny

You were a being made up of words. You lived to think words, to write words, to read words, and to speak words. You were jack of all things debate and a master of sounding like a charming smartass. Your words were always chosen carefully, and because of this, your persuasive skills were deadly.

Lucas was a being of action. He moved as his spirit listed, and was often caught indulging in whatever sins his internal chaos prompted him that day. He built the world around him with his own two hands and lived for the sake of creating his own experiences within his own days. He hadn't an interest in the events of the world, nor the stories in it. You don't think he'd ever read a story in his life. Actually, you don't think he'd ever read.

Perhaps that was why the two of you fit together oh-so-well. He was the Yang to your Yin, the left to your right. Your relationship was a perfectly balanced chemical equation. He made a mess, and you cleaned up after him. You were a mess, and he cleaned you up.

Oh, but you can always get messier, can't you?

"Seriously, Y/N? When was the last time you ate?" Lucas folded his arms over his chest and leaned against your doorframe.

"I ate breakfast," you quipped softly, folding your legs up into your rolly chair. You'd been there for almost two days straight, but your project was finally starting to take shape.

"Oh yeah? And what did you eat?" You bit the inside of your cheek, giving him a guilty smile as you twidled your thumbs. "You can't live off of those damn health bars. Christ- Put your shoes on, we're going out."

"Wait, Yukhei, it's okay, I can just-"

"You have ten minutes to get ready before I carry you out of here on my shoulder," he warned before excusing himself to sit in your living room and wait for you.

Groaning, you moved the blanket from your lap and threw on a pair of sweats. You washed your face and brushed out your hair, and with two minutes to spare, you were slipping into your jogging shoes. "Lucas, are you ready?" you asked, stepping out of your bedroom. Oddly enough, he wasn't on that ugly black couch that he loved so much, nor was he in the kitchenette that fit so snuggly in the corner of the room. He wasn't by the window, nor with the plants on your fire escape. You stepped back to check the bathroom. Empty. "Yukhei?" you called out for him again.

Your heart jumped out of your chest at the sudden jolt of your door, followed by three sharp knocks.

"Y/N? I locked myself out..." Breathing out a steadying breath, you placed a hand over your heart. "Y/N?"

"Hang on a second, you big baby." You rolled your eyes and opened the door for him. "I thought you'd been abducted."

"Sorry babe, I had a call. But don't worry, nobody can abduct me when I carry around guns like these," he grinned, flexing his arms.

"I think I liked you better when you were missing." He scoffed. "But you have to promise me to never leave me without any answers. I'd have to hunt you down if you did."

"I'll never leave you, ever," he gleams, throwing an arm over your shoulder and guiding you out the door. You hummed, wrapping an arm around his waist and syncing your steps with his. "Besides, if I ever tried, you'd lock me in your apartment building's basement and I don't really wanna know what else is down there."

"You'd better not try to escape then," you snorted.

You weren't quite sure how you always managed to end up in such ungodly positions, but as long as you were both comfortable, you couldn't complain. However, at the moment, you were very uncomfortable, and the boy laying on top of you was getting an ear-full.

He'd simply barged into your bedroom, saw you laying on your stomach, and decided that you were the most comfortable matress around.

"Lucas, I have to pee."

"Do it, I dare you."

"Lucas, I can't breathe!"

"Then die."

"You are the-"

"Most wonderful person you ever could have hoped to even end up dating? I know. What do you want for dinner tonight? I'm thinking chicken. Thoughts?"

"I'll buy if you get off me," you groaned.

He perked up at that, finally rolling off of you and bouncing over to your closet. "We're gonna match," he said certainly, plucking a black T-shirt and skinny jeans off of their respective hangers and throwing them at you before going back to fish out the jean jacket and belt he'd bought you specifically for occasions such as these.

He rushed you along, ushering you out of your building quickly, excited to go to his favorite marketplace restaurant. Boarding the transit, he took your hand in his much larger one and turned to you to quietly ask if he could spend the night at your place to watch movies and "get frisky," earning a light slap on the wrist which only made him laugh.

You and Lucas were puzzle pieces that fit together. So for the life of you, you couldn't begin to understand why everything seemed to be falling apart.

"I just can't win against you, can I? You have too many debate trophies shoved up your ass!"

"I just-"

"Stop, Y/N. If you won't try to understand my side, we're done here."

"Lucas, I do understand, I just don't agree. And that's okay because we don't have to agree on everything."

"Yeah?" he huffed. "Well on this, we do."

"What do you want me to do? Fly home to (country) and tell my family that their daughter who managed to escape their victimized mindsets and emotional neglect and finally cut ties with them has a boyfriend who wants to meet them? I don't want you to meet them! I don't want you anywhere around them," your composure finally snapped, letting a tear roll down your cheek. You roughly wiped it away with the back of your sleeve.

"Oh, cut the shit, Y/N. You didn't want to introduce me to your 'toxic' best friend either, or your 'overly protective' brother; they turned out to be completely fucking normal. Maybe it's you that's the problem."

"You mean the beautiful best friend, Soomin, that cut me off after I wouldn't give you her number? Oh, and my brother, Johnny, who slept on my couch for a week after meeting you to make sure you weren't staying the night?"

"So I'm the one causing problems? Maybe if you were less insecure-"

"Insecure? Fine, I'll call Soomin and give her your number. And while I'm at it, I'll just ask Johnny to give my number out to all your frat brothers, since that's no big deal."

Lucas slammed his hand down on your island countertop. "Like hell you will. Look, I just want to meet your family. I'm not gonna ask them to move to Korea."

"Lucas, I'm thrilled that your family likes me so much because you're very close with them and that's important to you, but please don't make me contact my family. I don't want them in my life."

He stepped out that night without another word and remained silent for the rest of the week.

You felt like a vase that held flowers but had no water to give them; you were, on your own, too much of some things and not enough of others. Lucas's silent treatment felt like he tipped the scale by hopping off of his side and leaving you to fall.

"Y/N, listen to me," you whispered to yourself as you opened the refrigerator door. "You are a strong, independent woman and your life does not revolve around a boy." You reached for the fruit drawer and pulled out a peach. Fruit was a large part of your diet when you were sad; it was convenient because there was no meal prep. Uni-students like you didn't have time to cook anyways.

A buzzing sound from your counter pulled you from your thoughts. You wiped the peach juice off your chin with your sleeve and put the phone to your ear.

"Y/N? Do you have a minute?"

"Johnny? What's up tree-child?" You hear a soft chuckle over the line.

"Your overgrown boyfriend hasn't left his room since your little fight-"

"Johnny, you know what it was like for me back home. Your mom and my dad- you don't want to go back either, right? You know how bad it was. I shouldn't have to apologise for not wanting to go back."

Johnny sighed loudly over the line. "I'm not saying you have to apologise to him. I'm on your side, but neither of you are trying to fix the situation. So come to our frat, talk, make out, have angry make-up sex; I don't care what floats your boat, just come see him. You're the only person who I know has the ability to convince him to shower."

"See, dearest Johnny, that would mean I would have to shower. And right now, I'm not really feeling up to the task. So if that's all, then I'll be going-"

"Y/N, please? I'll make you dinner, and I'll pay for two- no, three of your textbooks next semester!"

"What do you get out of this, Seo? What bidding of yours will I be doing if I agree?"

"Can't I just reunite one of my best friends with my sister for the- yeah okay, I can't do this. There's a party next week and he's my wingman."

"Goodbye, Johnny."

You didn't know what to expect if you were to text Lucas first. Perhaps he was waiting on you to, or perhaps not, instead opting not to talk to you. However, you were a being of words, and you were desperately trying to sort through all of the Korean vocabulary that you knew in order to find the best words to give to him. You knew he deserved that, the best of you.

Y/N: Hey, can we talk?

You waited and waited, and thought yourself into hours of self torment. Was that text a mistake? Should you not have sent it? Could you have said something better?

After about an hour of stressing over the message and his lack of reply, you manage to pull yourself off of your couch, take yourself into the shower and sulk in its hot, suffocating water and steam.

And then you, naturally, went crawling back to your phone.

"Johnny, is your offer still up? Dinner and textbooks and shit?" Damn your unusually shaky voice, underused in the time you'd spent away from your significant other.

"Y/N? You sound distressed, is everything okay?"

"I don't know how to take care of myself," you admitted without an ounce of emotion in your tone, only growing your stepbrother's concerns. "You know, you're the only person that has checked in on me since our fight? I'm the one in the wrong, and everyone knows it... I need him, I need to apologise."

You hear something clatter over the line. "Now, hold on Y/N. You don't sound like you're thinking straight. I'm all for you guys patching things up, but not to get back into our good graces."

"Johnny, I'm alone. He's the only person that's ever made an effort to distract me from that."

"Hey, wait, you aren't alone. You have all of us. We're all here whenever you need us, not just him."

"John, I'm either your sister or his girlfriend. The guys in your frat don't want to be friends with me, and that's okay. But I want to hang on to what I've got so I'm coming over to fix-"

Your brother cuts you off with a groan. You don't see it, but he sets his afternoon bowl of cereal to the side and runs his hand through his hair. "Hang on a damn minute. I'll be to your apartment in ten minutes. Please, stay there."

"But John-"

"Stay there."

He cursed as soon as he hung up the call, finally noticing the stares he'd been receiving from the others in the kitchen. They'd watched you slowly unravel his composure until he was rushing to pour the rest of his precious Captain Crunch down the garbage disposal. All for his endearing concern for his stepsister.

"Who was that?" his closest friend, a broad shouldered boy by the name of Jaehyun asked.

Johnny paused, looking back at his friends. "My sister doesn't sound like she's feeling very well. She's pretty torn up about- well, you know."

"Can we help? I haven't seen Y/N in ages," Haechan commented, thinking back to the last time he'd had a chance to hang out with you. It must've been the night you joined them for a Smash competition. He remembered that you were really bad at it- or rather, not as experienced as his fraternity brothers who maybe spent a little too much time practicing.

"I honestly don't really know what's going on, so maybe it's best if I go alone."

Haechan and Jaehyun share a look. "Can you tell her to drop by to see us sometime?"

"Sure will," he agrees before slipping into his shoes and heading out the door. He was quick to get to the bus stop, knowing it'd be leaving within minutes.

When the doors to the bus opened, he took note of only one person stepping off. A pretty little girl with features that told any onlooker that she was Japanese. Her hair was lighter than his by a few shades, locks of caramel resting gently on her shoulders, the top layers collected in a little white bow and the back of her head which matched the flowy white v-neck she was dressed in; jeans and white tennis shoes paired to match.

She was a figure of beauty and grace. She offered him a small smile which would haunt him in his dreams that night. Had he not had prior engagements, he would have spent more time drinking her in as she walked down the sidewalk in the direction from which he had come. The gleam off of her pearl earrings blinded him momentarily, and suddenly he remembered that he was on a mission: a mission to get to you and remind you of your self worth.

When you cracked your door, an arm poked through, attached to a bag of goodies.

"When's the last time you ate?" Johnny asked, still not pushing his way into your space. "I brought ramen and cookie dough. I figured we could do with a night in."

You opened the door wider and lead him into the living room. It was a mess, to say the least. A nice collage of wrappers and tissues lay across the floor, the occasional soda can making things interesting. The dishes in your sink were stacked as high as they could go, and unopened letters lay strewn across your coffee table. Your home had become a perfect embodiment of how you felt.

"Y/N..." he said, looking around at the state of things.

"I know, I'll clean up later," you answered, tucking yourself back in to your spot on the couch.

"I'll help you tonight," he reassures you, setting the plastic bag on your counter and taking out two styrofoam cups filled with dry noodles.

"You didn't need to come, Johnny." The look in your eyes told him otherwise. Maybe he wasn't the best older brother in the world, but he could tell that you needed someone right now and he'd be damned if he wasn't going to do his best to help you.

"I know," he soothes. "I came for me. You were scaring me with some of the things you said and I needed to make sure that you were okay for my own sanity. Do you want beef or chicken?"

Episodes of Sword Gai play lowly in the background, a low hum of a language that neither of you understood. He helped you pick up around your house and clean up your living space. He helped you make cookies, and he ate his fair share of them. Your brother, your closest companion since you were young, sat with you all night and talked. The weight of your words though, it was heavy on his chest.

"Y/N, we've always only had each other. We practically fled a country together. You know that you and I are the first and last people on this planet, right? I took care of you back in (country) and I'll take care of you here."

You sighed, rubbing your temples. "I was your scared little sister who came chasing after you. You deserved to have your own life and live it the way that you wanted. I followed you to Korea, and once again I'm your burden."

"Y/N, you're not a burden. I'm glad you came to my University. The closer you are, the easier I can protect you."

"You shouldn't have to protect me though. You introduced me to your friends because I couldn't make any on my own. Then I met Lucas, and you helped him get into NCT and now everyone there has to deal with me-"

"Y/N, they aren't 'dealing' with you. They actually like you. Not because they have to, but because you're fun to be around."

"I don't know..." You didn't want to outright complain that you hadn't even received a text from any of the members of NCT since your fight with the Chinese boy. You didn't want to admit how badly if hurt to realize that they were his friends before they were yours. Now, not only was there a hole in your heart from your boyfriend ripping himself away, but also the growing cavity from the quiet abandonment of your friends. And now, your brother who'd done so much for you your whole life had to take care of you once again.

"What're you thinking about?" He watches your gaze flicker from the TV to his eyes and back.

"I'm willing to admit that Lucas was right-"

"I don't think he was. And neither do you. He has to respect that family is a taboo subject for some of us. Hell, he knows that I don't like it whenever he brings it up. You can work things out without taking all the blame for this, which would be outright unjust."

"I shouldn't have been so sensitive though," you respond honestly.

"You know I hate taking sides-"

"You do not, Seo," you giggle. His face visibly brightens at the sound.

"Yeah, your right, I love taking sides. I'm definitely on your side about the argument. But maybe he's thought about it too. Maybe you should let him explain how he feels about it now. And of course, I'll be sure to give you my opinions afterwards."

"I guess," you offer him an unsure smile. "I want him back in my life. I want everyone else back in my life too. I guess losing him and then losing touch with my- your friends made me realize that maybe I'm rather expendable." Your chuckle was dry, barely making it out of your throat.

In Johnny's eyes, not only Lucas, but his friends as well had been the ones lacking; yet somehow, you thought it was your own lacking that had let them slip away. How dare they hurt you like this? How dare they make you feel unworthy of them?

"I've always known," you continued, "that they were his friends- and yours. I guess I should start trying to make friends in class if we don't get this worked out, huh?"

"Maybe you should talk to them about that before you go trying to replace your friend group. But you're gonna work it out. No one's leaving you. You should see how desperate he looks right now, waiting for you to come marching into our house and demand to see him. He's got too much love in that big heart of his and now that he can't shower you in it, he looks like his purpose in life has been taken away."

Johnny was always there to take care of you, and you felt you could never repay him for that. His advice and soothing words were invaluable to you. Your brother's compassion was the most precious thing in the world to you, especially in your moments of need.

Of course you made an attempt to call Lucas before you showed up on the fraternity doorstep, but if you wanted something to change, for once you were going to have to do something yourself. You had to be able to move your own two feet without him.

Your three sharp knocks were answered by the only Thai resident in the household, a slender boy with cropped bangs and sharp features. Ten was quick to pull you inside, wrapping his arms around your torso and resting his head on your shoulder.

"Buddha has sent us an Angel; we're saved!"

"That bad, huh?"

Ten let you out of his bear hug and looked you in the eye with a look of (semi-) mock disgust. "Y/N, it's been fourteen days since he came home crying and he's showered like twice since then. Mark and I have been trying to coax him out of his room for days. Please, you've got to do something!"

"Challenge accepted," you said, smiling at the boy in front of you. He always knew how to make your day a little bit brighter.

Your heart grew heavy when you remembered that his concerns weren't for you. They were for his real friend, and you could appreciate that.

You tried to shove those thoughts down in your chest as you stepped around him and started on the long trek to your boyfriend's room.

The couch at the end of his bed was a sacred place for videogames and movie nights, a large flat screen just in front of it. His desk was often messy and usually your problem to clean. His chair was a space for studying and the occasional newcomer into his room, a comfortable space to be welcomed. The carpet was a place you liked to lay when you began to think that mattresses were just a little bit too mundane; then suddenly, you'd think the most interesting thing in the world was the orange peel texture on the white ceiling. On the nightstand was an alarm clock, a charger, and a picture of you - and in it was a bottle of lotion and a stash of jewelry you'd given him over time. Even his dresser meant something to you. You'd picked it out with him at a flea market and agreed to split the cost because it was just too beautiful to pass up. The bottom drawer was full of your clothes and he always reminded you that the dresser would one day live in a space with the two of you, together.

His room was a box of memories, and his bed held the most prized of them all. It's where you laid and let yourself be vulnerable with Lucas. It's where your lives came together, and your stories intertwined, slipping from your lips and knotting together like your limbs under the ceiling fan. Promises of the future, swears of the past, and a comforting and cozy present.

You didn't think before you opened the door; it was practically an instinct now. It wasn't necessarily a shared space, but it's a space that's always been offered to you. You'd never imagined that there would be a time when you weren't welcomed there.

It caught you off guard, the body underneath his. A petite girl with Carmel colored hair that was stuck to her damp skin. Your boyfriend moved on top of her, rocking back and forth against her body, eyes trained on hers.

You quietly shut the door and slipped back down the hallway. Doyoung, exiting his room, stopped your frantic attempt at escape from the house, taking in your wide eyes and seemingly disorganized composition.

"Y/N? What's wrong? Wh-"

"I'm okay," you swore, stepping around him. "I'm just not feeling well, I'm gonna step out for a bit."

"Oh," he says, watching you scamper down the steps. "We have medicine if you need it."

You didn't answer. Your priority was to get out of the front door as quickly and as quietly as possible, not even sparing a glance at the boys in the living room who had greeted you earlier.

You walked like a woman with a purpose, fast and in a straight line, away from the house. You didn't bother waiting on the bus, instead you walked right past the bus stop and started towards your home where you would let your composure fall.

Lucas moved one of the light colored strands of hair from Yuri's face. He was propped up on an elbow, admiring the beautiful girl in front of him. She was someone he'd know for a while, having been in his Sociology class the year prior. He'd seen her every now and again, met with her, fucked her, and left her in the morning. The girl with almost orange hair who always wore white was illusive to all but him. Wanted was the girl who always wore her graduation gift from her grandmother proudly, a pair of pearl earrings.

Normally, he wouldn't have allowed the sweet Japanese girl to stay with him after sex, cuddled to his chest, her bare skin against his. It hurt him too much to think that she wasn't the one who was supposed to be in his arms, and as a constant reminder he was always burned by the temperature of her skin. She was hot, a fire that lit in his stomach and yet left his heart cold.

Yuri blinked up at him, stirring from her soft slumber. "Is it nighttime?" she yawned out. He nodded and shushed her, rubbing his thumb over the soft skin of her cheek. He brought their lips together for a kiss that felt so wrong yet so right. Part of him didn't want to pull away and crash back down to reality, the other part of him knew that the girl needed to leave while no one was awake, lest his relationship with you be damaged.

He pulled away first, standing to dress himself in the sweats and Tee that he'd discarded some time ago. He helped Yuri sit up then dress herself. He placed a chaste kiss her forehead and lead her to his bedroom door, expecting her to find her own way out of the house. But before the door closed, he locked eyes with the last person he wanted to see him sending off his rendezvous into the night.

Johnny did not hesitate to put his hands on the door (rather loudly) to prevent it from closing.

"What's a girl doing in your room so late, Lucas?"

Lucas tried to meet Johnny's eyes, but he couldn't hold your brother's fierce gaze. "Studying?"

"Oh yeah? How'd you two get so sweaty while you were studying. You must've been cramming pretty hard." Johnny fold his arms over his chest just as the color of pink on Lucas's bed catches his attention. He stared at it for a moment before the shape registered in his mind. "And how did leaving her thong with you help either of you read a fucking textbook?"

At this point, Johnny has a fist full of Lucas's shirt and is backing him against a wall. Lucas tries to remove Johnny's hand, but only gets shoved harder into the hard surface, pictures rattling on both sides of his head, the picture of your joint trip to the fair the year prior falls to the ground and shatters.

Taeyong comes rushing in from his room, roughly awoken by his neighbor's commotion.

"Johnny? Yukhei? It's one in the morning, what the hell is going on?"

The intense gaze between the two doesn't falter for a moment. "Yeah, Yukhei, what the hell is going on?" When he doesn't receive an answer, he lifts him off the wall and pushes him back against in with one harsh movement. "Don't ever talk to my sister again." Johnny releases his shirt and Lucas's eyes widen.

"Y/N-" Lucas breathes out, grabbing for your brother's arm and stumbling over his words. "Please don't tell Y/N."

"Ya know, Lucas, she just recently told me that she felt like no one cared about her. Her friends were yours, and while you were out of her reach, so we're they. How could you leave her with nobody?"

Taeyong gasped at that. He considered you a rather close friend and cherished the bond he had with you. He understood where you were coming from but it still hurt that you would misread his intentions as befriending a friend of a friend.

Lucas pulled harder at Johnny's arm, keeping him in place as he tried to turn away. Taeyong took this as his que to step between the two and separate them.

"Please don't tell her," Lucas tried. "Please, let me be the one to tell her. She deserves that much."

Your phone had been dead for two days and you hadn't bothered to even look for a charger. You focus your energy on your Korean history essays and devote your time to working on your computer.

Little did you know, this was sparking panic at the NCT dorms. No one, not even your brother, had been able to contact you. Finally, Johnny decided that he had to check on you (along with the ever persistent presence of his younger friend, Haechan, who demanded that he be taken to see you), taking the public transit to your apartment on the northwest border of the campus.

His knocking earned a prompt "fuck off" from your living room, so at the very least they were sure you were still alive.

"Y/N, open the damn door." You didn't even bother moving from your cozy place on the couch. "For fuck's sake- do you know how long we've all been trying to contact you. Let me fucking in or I'll break the door down."

"I'd like to see you try," you mumbled before a solid 'thud' sounded from your entrance. "John, what the fuck?"

"I said let me in. I gotta make sure you're okay so don't make this difficult."

"For the love of fuck, I'm fine, go away."

Thud.

"Let me in."

Thud.

"Okay, okay stop! You're gonna make my neighbors hate me."

You threw your door open to be greeted by, not one, but two friendly faces with murderous intentions in their eyes.

"You can't just drop off the fucking radar, you had everyone scared shitless that something had happened to you," Haechan snapped before bringing you into a warm embrace.

"I'm sorry," you sighed, wrapping your arms back around him. It felt nice to be in someone's arms again, even if it wasn't the touch you longed for. "I've just had a hard few days."

Johnny, who had already pushed his way past you, was beginning to calm himself down like a passing storm.

"What happened, Princess?" Haechan tried. You cringed and he shrugged, still holding you to his chest.

"Lucas and a girl-" Your eyes teared up and the words lodged themselves in your throat. "He's cheating on me."

Haechan's eyes widen and he presses your head to his chest rather forcefully so that he could discreetly pass Johnny a look of sheer confusion. It'd been the hot topic as the frat, but as no one had been able to contact you since they'd made the discovery themselves, he assumed no one had been able to tell you yet. "Y/N, Princess, what do you mean?" he spoke slowly, unsure of how he wanted to frame his question.

"I went to," you hiccupped, "went to see him and there," you hiccupped again, "there was a girl," and again, "underneath him." Haechan's grip tightens around you. The look he's giving Johnny now is one that would've scared armies away from battle. The look on his face was nothing in comparison to the emotion written on Johnny's own features. The storm had returned, the haze of anger clouding both his eyes and his judgements.

Johnny moved towards the door much slower than he'd come barging through it. Like a man marching off to war, he kept his eyes straight ahead and left the same way he'd came. "Both of you, stay here." The door slams shut behind him, mimicking the sound of a gunshot.

Haechan keeps you in his embrace for a few minutes, rocking you back and forth after the tensions in his muscles began to dissipate. He shushed you until you stopped crying, urging you to get your breathing back under control.

"I'm so sorry you had to see that," the silver haired boy mumbled into your hair before sperating himself from you. "Come sit down. Let's talk about this for a minute."

"That's okay, Haechan. I appreciate it but-" you sniffle.

"Y/N, this is an important talk we're about to have, okay? Listen to me very carefully, and after we talk this out, I'm going to order food from any place in this district that you want." You shook your head but did nothing to interrupt him. "We all just found out a couple of days ago. That's part of the reason everyone has been trying to reach you. Johnny caught him, but he agreed to let Lucas tell you. But because no one has been able to get to you, those two have been raising hell at the frat. That's why it is very important that we can get in contact with you, do you understand? If we have things we really need to tell you, your phone needs to be on so we can get to you. We were all worried that something really, really bad had happened to you."

"So it's true? I'm not being dramatic? Lucas really..."

Haechan nodded, pulling you down to sit with him on the couch and tuck you under his arm. "But listen, I know it's aweful. Johnny is probably going to put Lucas in his place right now. So you and I are going to stay here for now, and talk and eat dinner, and get out everything that you're feeling right now. And soon, that boy isn't going to mean anything to you because he doesn't deserve to take up your precious time or energy. Okay? Now what do you want to eat?" He rubbed your back, patiently waiting for your answer. He would move at your pace for the rest of the night.

"Where is he?" Mark and Taeyong are quick to intercept Johnny's trail, desperately trying to avoid whatever chaos was sure to ensue this hour.

"Don't you think it's a little early to start throwing punches this evening?" Taeyong tries.

Ten enters from the kitchen, a bowl of cheap ramen in his hands, Lucas trailing behind him, rocking the college boy couture: no shirt and sweatpants. Ten had by no means forgiven him within the short span of two days, especially not when he picked plenty of the recent fights with Johnny which promised a rather annoying thrill of excitement every night, but Ten knew that in the depths of his heart he felt sympathy and compassion for Lucas. As frustrated as he was with the younger boys, he couldn't abandon him when he had so few people left on his side anymore. Who else would take care of him if not Ten?

Lucas stopped in his tracks when he saw Johnny, slowly handing off his bowl to Ten to be sat on the coffee table. There was a feral beast inside Johnny that Lucas could see right now, and he was afraid that any sudden movements would invoke a violent response.

"I thought you'd be gone longer," Lucas admits. He had avoided the living room recently, especially when he knew Johnny would be home.

"I felt suddenly compelled to come right back and have a nice long chat with you."

Lucas tensed, subconsciously preparing to be thrown into a fight at any second.

"Wait, where's Haechan?" Mark ask, noting that the younger boy did not come in with him.

"He's comforting my sister. He's doing what I should be doing. But I trust him to handle her with care. I trust him to take care of her tonight while you and I have that little chat." He eyes Lucas, reading every sign that Lucas's body is posting, watching as he takes in those words and deflates a bit.

"You guys told her?"

"Didn't have to. She walked in on you screwing another girl." The room falls silent until Ten begins to choke on his ramen. Everyone looks at him as he turns away to hide his wide-eyed expression.

"Ten?" Taeyong asks. "Do you know something?"

Ten slowly turns around to face the group. "Do you remember that night when we were sitting here when she came over, and then she went running out the door a few minutes later?"

Taeyong's face falls. "Oh my God. Is that really the last time any of us saw her?"

"Fuck, and we didn't even know she needed help."

"Doyoung said she wasn't feeling well; he tried to stop her."

"That was almost a week ago, though," Ten thinks aloud. Everyone's eyes fall on Lucas, the boy they'd momentarily forgotten. His eyes are glassy, his composure fallen. There's a beat before anyone dares to ask about the elephant in the room. "How many times did it happen?"

Lucas opens and closes his mouth like a fish. "Did she really see? She saw me with Yuri?"

"Lucas, how many times did it happen?" Johnny's shoulders are squared. He steps towards the boy but is stopped my Taeyong's firm grasp on his arm.

"A lot," he admits as the first tear makes its dash for his chin. "A lot more than I should have. A lot more than I ever wanted to." As wet as his entire face was becoming, he dare not move to wipe away the shame. "I love her. Oh my God, I love her and she'll never want to see me again."

Mark looks between his two best friends seeing nothing but desperation and fury - two ample types of passion for you. "Why'd you do it then?" His words were soft. He didn't want to stir the pot anymore, but he wanted to know.

"I don't know. I love her. Why would I do that to her?" Johnny's composure cracks but doesn't break. He doesn't take off his armor. He was still there, at his own frat, in his own living room to challenge his former mate.

"She was the reason you got into this house in the first place. If she didn't care about you, I would have never helped you get in."

"Johnny stop." Taeyong pulls back on Johnny's arm, reigning him in and telling him to stand down.

"Why? That's how she feels. She feels like she's less than you. I think it should be the other way around. She think everyone only cares about her because they care about you. I think she should realize that you wouldn't even be here without her. How do you even have the balls to cheat on her after what she's done for you?"

"I didn't want to!" Lucas defends.

"Then why did you do it?"

"I don't know! I don't know! I don't know if it was because I was bored, or if I was mad at her one day. I don't know how it started. When I started to see Yuri, it just felt like a small break but then we started to mess around more often. I don't know how it started, but I wish it never had. I never wanted Y/N to have to see that."

In one swift movement, Johnny yanked himself out of Taeyong's grasp and nailed one shot right below Lucas's eye before the other three men in the room jumped in to separate the two as much as the could.

"You wish you hadn't done it because you got caught?"

Lucas holds on to his face but managed to stand up straight. "I wish I hadn't done it because I regret hurting her. It would break my heart to see her with anyone else - I can't imagine how it must've felt for her to see that. So yes, I regret her finding out."

Johnny struggles against the restraint of his friends. "Do you regret doing it? Did you ever question yourself while you were screwing around behind her back?"

Lucas didn't answer, instead he walked away. He gather up the few shards of his dignity that he had left, and locked himself in the first story bathroom for the rest of the night.

Haechan made you put your phone on the charger. He warned you that there would be messages from just about everyone in his frat but that you didn't have to open them all immediately. He stayed up with you that night to help you with both your assignments and your heartache, sending you to bed at a decent time (before two in the morning). He sat in your living room, waiting for any news from the dorms before he went back. He ended up falling asleep on your couch.

When morning came, he was abruptly awoke from a sweet dream by the rattle of the door and three sharp knocks. Annoyed, he pushed himself up and went to check who could possibly be so irritating this early in the morning.

He cracked the door to find a not-so-hot Wong Lucas on the doorstep.

"Haechan?" Lucas asked, sniffling quietly. Haechan shut the door, ready to turn back and resume his slumber on the couch before three more knocks stopped him.

He cracked the door again. "She's sleeping, knock it off."

"Haechanie?" You ask yawning as you wonder to his side. You didn't know that he'd been there all night and came to check the door, not expecting anyone to beat you to it. "Who's at the door?"

"No one, Princess. Go back to sleep."

"Princess?" Lucas questioned, clearly uncomfortable with the younger boy calling you by a pet name.

"Lucas?" Your mind wakes up a bit when you register his voice.

"Y/N," he sighs in relief.

"Haechan," Haechan blurts before shutting the door and promptly turning to you. "Y/N, don't let him in. He's probably here to convince you to take him back and you need to remember what we talked about last night. He made you feel like a small person, don't go crawling back to him-"

"I'm not letting him in, don't worry." You wrap your blanket tighter around yourself. "Why are you still here anyways?"

"I never got the all clear to go home," he mumbled, pulling you back into your bedroom. Three sharp knocks sounded once again at your door. Neither of you moved to answer it, instead you let Haechan lay you down in your bed and tuck you into your comforter before he crawled on top of your covers and dozed back off at the foot of your bed.

Lucas left the flowers and food in front of your door, sending Haechan a text to let him know that they were there (just in case you'd already blocked his number). Pulling his jacked tighter around him, he left the building in search of something to make himself feel better after a night of high emotions.

He found himself at the coffee house down the street from your residence. As he waited on his order, he sat at a booth and pondered ways to get you to, if nothing else, accept his apology. With everything in him, he wanted you back. He wanted to forget the stupid fight, he wanted to forget the other girl - he wanted you. That wasn't fair though, and he knew it. It especially wasn't fair that while you were with him, you felt small compared to him. It wasn't fair that he made you feel like nobody cared about you more than they did him. It wasn't fair that your stepbrother had to be the one to voice your concerns for you; you had never felt comfortable telling Lucas about your deepest insecurities when he was supposed to be the one to get you past them. He was only beginning to realize that he hadn't been there for you the way that you needed him to be - the way that you had been for him.

"Johnny is it true that Y/N thinks we don't like her?" Jungwoo asks, placing himself between both Johnny and Jaehyun on the couch.

Johnny sighed. "She thinks that you guys don't like her, but that you're all too nice to say anything. She thinks that because she's my sister, you guys are forced to spend time with her."

"But I like spending time with her," the younger whines.

"I know," Johnny answers simply. "She just," he inhales through his teeth, "doesn't have a lot of super close relationships. Actually, it was really only me and..." He eyes the staircase. "Can you blame her for having trust issues, though?" he asks rhetorically, more towards himself than anybody else.

"How can we show her we care about her? Like, genuinely?" Jungwoo asks, his simple yet quick thought process spitting out one debacle after another.

"I dunno, Woo. I really don't know. Maybe try to text her more? Maybe check on her every now and again?" Johnny thinks to a moment how much of his private conversation with you he wants to share. He determines that no true friendship deals in lies. "She wanted to apologise to Lucas for the fight they had a few weeks ago. She was willing to be wrong in her principles if it meant she could have that one deep connection back. She said no one had really contacted her since they'd started fighting. She said she felt alone."

Jungwoo's eyes swelled up to the size of saucers. Had he really been so neglectful? Had they all?

"I'm not telling you this to make you feel guilty. She'll never be honest about her emotions, though. She told me that if things didn't work out with Lucas, she would have to start trying to make new friends in class."

"Would she really replace us like that?"

"To her, it's not replacing something if you never really had it."

"She wouldn't even try to talk to us?"

Johnny shook his head. "That's what I'm saying. I wasn't going to tell you that, I don't want you guys to feel bad about it. But if I didn't say something, you'd never know how she felt."

Jaehyun, who'd kept his quiet so far, finally spoke up. "Well I hope she's accepting visitors. We've clearly left her to deal with her problems alone for too long."

"Let's go after breakfast," Johnny suggests, nearly being cut off by the ring of his phone. He excuses himself from the living room to answer it. "Hello? Y/N? What's up? We were just talking about you."

He doesn't see it, but you cringe a little at that. "Uh, hey, are you busy right now? Should I call you back another time?"

As off put as Johnny is by your tone, he doesn't question it. "For my adoring sister? I'm never to busy for you."

You wonder if he was genuinely not doing anything or not. "Really, we can talk later if-"

"Y/N, I'm not doing anything, what's going on?" The line is quiet for a moment. A sickening moment.

"I think I'm gonna transfer back home." Your brother feels his stomach drop. "I've been thinking about it for a while now. I just think it might be the better option for me. I don't know many people here on campus, I struggle to keep up with my Korean classes. I just think it's time I stop following you around like a lost puppy, ya know?" The line goes silent as you wait for his response. "Hello?" You wait. "John?"

"No." His answer is simple and definite.

"What do you mean 'no?'"

"I mean you're not leaving just because you're insecure. You and I both know you're doing wonderfully in your classes this semester. Why would you leave that behind? Because a boy cheated on you? Because you think no one wants to care about you? You're not leaving Korea."

"I wasn't asking. I was just letting you know." Johnny feels his heart break for you.

"On purpose! I care about you on purpose. We all care about you on purpose. Why do you keep trying to take yourself away from us?"

"You shouldn't have to care-"

"You think it's up to you if I care about you or not? That's not your decision. And it's not your decision whether or not the rest of NCT cares for you either. Why are you so hard headed?" Johnny groans loudly into the mic.

"I'm not enough of anything to be cared about."

"Shut up." He promptly hung up and grabbed his jacket.

Your tiny apartment wasn't really made to accommodate many people at once, but the five overgrown boys standing on your doorstep pushed their way into your apartment and made it work.

"Let's take a vote," is the first thing out of your stepbrother's mouth as soon as he crosses the threshold. "All in favor of Y/N transferring say 'aye.'" A silence falls over the boys. "All opposed say no."

"No," Jungwoo is the first to speak.

"No," Jaehyun is quick to follow.

"No," Ten says sternly.

"No," Taeyong adds.

"You have been unanimously voted to keep your ass in Korea and the court rules in favor of putting a bounty on you if you try to escape."

"Wait, wait, wait," you finally get out. "This isn't a democracy; your vote is irrelevant."

"Y/N, why do you want to leave so badly?" Ten asks, crossing his arms and leaning against your island.

"I have to learn to take care of myself. I can't depend on Johnny or Lucas to do that for me anymore."

"Is this really what you think is best for you?" Jaehyun asks, a tinge of guilt in his words.

"I don't know, I guess we'll find out in five weeks when the semester ends in December."

Lucas pressed his palms into his eyes, temporarily making himself see stars. It was cold, a thin layer of snow covering the ground and buildings outside. There was a blanket thrown over his shoulders but it did nothing for the morbid freeze that so deeply effected his mood.

It was midnight when he woke up. Really, he no longer had a desire to eat, and he couldn't make himself sleep anymore lest he grow physically sick. He was left to wallow in his thoughts as he stared out his window, watching the snow fall so peacefully.

"Did I do this?" He asks himself. "She's leaving because of me? Was it me who made her feel so small compared to everyone else? Was it me who made her feel so small compared to Yuri?"

He'd stopped seeing her, his fling. He came to realize that there was a hole in his heart that she could never fill. When he had you, perhaps Yuri was a fun toy to play with on the side. When you were stripped away from him and his sense of comfort was taken from him, he no longer wanted to play with her.

He tried not to contact you. He didn't deserve your time - but he wanted it.

He found himself standing outside of your apartment at one in the morning on a freezing December night. Public transport, if it even ran in this weather, had been closed for the night. There were no students wondering the campus either. He braved the elements alone.

Three sharp knocks. They weren't particularly loud. If you were asleep, he wanted you to remain asleep. But if you weren't, he needed to see you. He wanted to hold you, and kiss you, and love you; he needed to see you. You weren't his toy, you weren't his game - you were his survival, his comfort, his energy, his breath.

"Lucas? What are you wearing? It's snowing out there, are you crazy?"

"Please don't leave."

"Isn't it a little late in the night to be talking about college transfers?"

"Please don't leave me."

You'd seen Lucas cry about a lot of things. For such a physically built man, he was very emotional. He cries when he stubs his toe. He cries when he sees a dead animal on the road. He cries when he laughs to hard. He cries when he's drunk and misses you, no matter how close you might be. He cries over a plethora of movies from sad romcoms to cheesey action movies. Never have you ever seen Lucas sob. He was hysterical and unfiltered, and still in the middle of the hallway.

"Come in, Lucas. It's okay, come in." He steps inside, wiping his runny nose of his sleeve.

"Please don't leave me," he repeats. "I'll be better, I'll do better. I know you deserve so much more than me but please let me be selfish and keep you."

"You'll be better without me," you reassure.

Lucas out himself on his knees in front of you, his hand reaching out unsteadily to hold yours. "Please, Y/N. Please. I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry. If I could take it all back, I would. I swear I would. I hate myself for ruining what we had."

"It's okay, Lucas." You cradled his head to your waist and shushed him, letting his arms wrap around your legs. "It's okay. I wasn't enough and that's okay. You needed something else, that's okay. I wish I would have know, sure. I wish maybe you would have told me that I wasn't enough, but I understand why you did it."

"No, no, Y/N. No, that's not right at all. You were perfect - too perfect, and I wasn't enough of a man to cherish that. I'm not a man without you. I'm a scared little boy. Y/N, please, I love you."

You shush him and run your fingers through his hair until he calms down a bit.

"Lucas?" You ask softly. He hums in response. "Did we ever break up?" You feel his entire body tighten around you as he tensed. He pressed his face harder against your abdomen and cries harder."I'm not going to end it with you," you sigh, "I can't live on my own, you know that better than anyone. I'm so tired of being alone. I need you too."

"I don't have the words to describe you. I'm trying, but I don't know how to tell you what I feel right now."

"Then don't tell me in words."

"You know, I have really hated your life decisions lately." Johnny quips from the driver's seat. "I hate that you're studying abroad for an entire semester. I detest that you got back with your ex, and I am repulsed by the fact that you're wearing sandals in December. Your decisions just suck."

"But I'm making them," you smile at him. "It's only a few months, I'll be back from Bordeaux before you know it."

"I'm glad you're going to France instead of going home. For a minute there, I thought you'd really gone off the deep end."

"Thank you for talking me down from that."

"I really wouldn't have let you go, you know. I would not be driving you to the airport if I wasn't one hundred percent sure that you're going to France."

"Thank you."

"We're going to miss you, Y/N. All of us, we really are." You thank him and offer a warm smile.

"Are you sure you can take care of Lucas while I'm gone? Without killing him?"

Something serious flashes in Johnny's eyes for a second. "I will never see him the same. I hate that you forgave him. But it's your life, and I support you."

"He and I both had to change a lot over the last couple of months. He had to learn to cherish someone that he so often took for granted. He knows now what he did to me, he's made effort to change and I've forgiven him. I had to learn to cherish the people in my life too. I had to learn how to accept that I'm cared for. No body is perfect, but both of us are trying to be good."

"If you've both changed so much, are you still both the perfect opposites?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. I don't think I'm the same person I was before the fight."

"Oh yeah? What about him?"

"Hardly." Johnny hummed in acknowledgement. "I think maybe, he's the word now. He's an idea, an emotion. It's my turn to be the action. I get to live my life for me, now."

"You've always been strong," Johnny adds, pulling into the airport parking garage. "I'm glad you finally realized it."

"I'll be back in June," you remind. "I'll come back stronger than I've ever been before. I'll be able to do things for myself."

"We'll all be waiting for you. Six months?"

"Six months."

"I can't wait to meet you again in six months."

#lucas #wong yukhei #nct #taeyong #johnny #mark #ten #lee #angst #smut #fluff #oneshot #series #x reader #imagine #reaction #jungwoo #kim #kpop

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sunflowersunshinevol6 · 4 years ago

Text

Crawl Before You Walk

Part 5

Pairing: HarryxReader

Warnings: Domestic violence

Except Harry.

He saw the bruises. Does he know? I’m a terrible liar and I’m nervous to face him, but when Gemma knocks on the door telling me breakfast is ready I take a deep breath and head out to face the music.

Harry doesn’t look at me, speak to me or acknowledge me in any way during breakfast. I try to act normally, but the tension radiating off of him is palpable.

“What crawled up your ass this morning?” Gemma asks him, Harry shoots him a glare and says nothing. Nobody comments again after that.

I’m washing the dishes when he comes up beside me. He says nothing, just begins rinsing and drying them as I wash them. “What are you doing Y/N?” Harry asks me after his mother leaves the room.

“What?” I ask, unable to look him in the eye.

“You lied to me.” his voice is filled with hurt, I scrub the dish in my hand hard, trying to remain passive. “You said Jake wasn’t at that party...Don’t you trust me?”

“I do.” he rolls his eyes, turning to face me, he places his hand on my wrist, and takes the plate from me, dropping it back into the soapy water.

“Then tell me the truth...Did Jake do this to you?” Before I can protest he rolls up my sleeve, his eyes widen in horror as he takes in the purple and blue markings around my elbow. I pull my arm away, rolling my sleeve back down.

“You already know the answer.”

“Then don’t.” I turn around, flicking my hands as I march from the kitchen. I’m irritated. I just need to talk to Jake. Get his side of the story and everything will be okay.

“If you don’t slow down and think about this you’ll end up just like your mother!” That stops me immediately. His face is red, eyes troubled. He lowers his voice. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Fuck you.” I say. That hits him and I instantly regret the words. He looks heartbroken, unsure of what to say now. “Jake cares about me. He won’t do it again.” Harry shakes his head sadly.

“That’s what they all say.”

Monday rolls around all to quickly. I’m nervous about what’s going to happen when I see Jake. I don’t know what happened after the party, if he even remembers what he did. My elbow still hurts but the bruises on my chin are fading. I see him as soon as I step inside the building. He’s standing by my locker, a box of candy in his hands. I try to smile but my face feels tight.

“Hey,” he holds out the chocolate to me.

“Hey.” I take the chocolate and open my locker. He shoves his hands in his pockets and leans against the lockers.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry….about the other night. I didn’t mean it….I really didn’t. I just….”

“It’s okay.” I pull out my history book, placing the chocolates carefully in the text book’s spot.

“Thank you for the chocolates,” I say as we get to my classroom. He releases me with a smile, kissing my hand. I love how affectionate he’s being.

“Meet me at my car after school. I’ll drive you home.” I give him a slight wave before entering the classroom.

The day passes quickly. I feel much better after talking with Jake, I knew I was overthinking things. Harry comes up to me at the end of the day, stopping beside my locker. Things have been awkward since the argument in the kitchen. I don’t really know what he wants at this point from me. I feel like he’s hot and cold.

“Ready to go home?” he asks.

“Jake’s bringing me.” Harry narrows his eyes.

“Absolutely not.” I scoff.

“You’re not my father.”

“Y/N.” he grabs my wrist as I turn away from him and pulls me close, his eyes are serious. “Y/N….He bruised you.” he whispers the last part. I pull my hand away, taking a couple steps back.

“Harry stop. We talked okay. It’s done. Let it go.” he opens his mouth to speak and I raise my hand. “Enough Harry. I’ll be home in a bit.” I leave him standing there at my locker, I don’t look back.

Jake’s car is parked at the far end of the parking lot. I hurry over to it, seeing that it’s running and he’s waiting for me. I open the passenger door quickly and got in, shutting it quickly behind me. He doesn’t say anything.

“Where the fuck were you?” he snarls, his eyes are wild and I’m scared. I can taste blood in my mouth. He reminds me of my father.

“Harry-” I gasp. “Harry was-” he slaps me again, keeping his hold on me tightly.

He rants, the whole way to my house. I cower against the door, hand pressed to my cheek. It stings.

I quietly enter the house, listening for any hint of sound or movement. It doesn’t seem like anyone is home yet. I shut myself in the bathroom and flick on the light.

“My god.” I mumble to myself. “My God….”

The cycle continues all week. Everytime I do something Jake doesn’t like, as soon as we are alone he hits me. He keeps telling me that things will be easier if I listen to him. I try to. I really do. But nothing I do seems to be good enough, satisfying enough for him. He brings me presents, apologizes, promises not to do it again, and then as soon as I do something.

The morning of homecoming, I wake up feeling anxious. I have a panic attack in the shower. I don’t tell anyone. I don’t really want to go at this point, even as I roll over and look at Jas sleeping away blissfully. I know I would have a good time if it were going to be just us….But it’s not.

I get out of bed and pad to the kitchen. Harry's there, sitting at the kitchen table reading a book and eating cereal, he glances at me as I walk by but says nothing. I’ve caught him watching me quite a bit lately. It perks my curiosity, but I never ask him about it. I get my own bowl and pour my own cereal before sitting down beside him.

“So….”Harry says, trying to start conversation. “You excited for tonight?” I shrug my shoulders. I appreciate the effort, but I’m still angry with him for what he said about me being like my mother.

“Not really…”

“You wanna stay home?” I shake my head.

“Gemma would kill me.” he chuckles, nodding his head in agreement.

“Yeah. You’re probably right.” we the rest of our respective meals in silence. The awkward tension relaxing a bit.

By ten, Gemma and I are huddled on the couch in the living room watching YouTube updo and makeup tutorials. Gemma’s mom makes us lunch and we eat while we decide on our hairstyles. Everything moves quickly from there. Gemma is blasting music so loudly it shakes the floorboards in her room. It’s a good thing their father is working today. We would have gotten into so much trouble.

Around four, we’re scrambling to finish, I try to put on my dress on in the bathroom, but Gemma calls for help at the hair station, I open the door to sneak across the hall at the exact time Harry comes out of his bedroom too, and he gets an eyeful of me in a strapless black bra and matching underwear.

“Oh my god,” he says, and claps a hand over his eyes. “Will you put on some fucking clothes?”

“You know not to come out when we are getting ready. What if I had been your sister.” he makes a disgusted noise.

“I need to go to the bathroom!”

I put my hands on my hips and wait until he lowers his hand, when he sees I’m still standing there he groans covering his eyes again, “Go away.”

“Why?” I smirk teasingly, taking a step toward him.”See something you like?” I feel bold, I know I’m crossing some line, but teasing him is too much fun to pass up.

He swipes my hair back from my face and whispers in my ear, “Thanks for the show.” I can feel him grinning against my cheek, like the little shit he is. It feels almost normal, like how we used to be. Before the kissing lesson. Before Jake. He steps around me, giving me one last look over before winking and going into the bathroom.

The boys will pick us up around seven. No one wanted to go to dinner first so we waited until it got close enough to just go to the dance. My dress is lavender colored, it looks like a ballgown. Gemma wore it in a beauty pageant she was in a few years ago. It’s amazing it fits me, but I love it either way. I grab my wristlet off the bed in Gemma’s room and head down the hallway,Harry’s sitting on the couch when I pass by the living room. He calls out to me.

“Hey.” I do a small spin, grinning at him. “What do you think?” he studies me, my hair and makeup, my dress. It feels like he’s staring at me forever before I finally get a response.

“You look….You look-”

“Hey!” I jump, turning to see Anne behind me. He’s grinning at me, it’s infectious. “Lookin’ good sister!” she pulls me into a quick hug. “Gemma said the guys are here, they’re waiting for you.” I nod, throwing Harry a quick smile before hurrying to the front door.

I sit beside Jake in the back of Dylan’s SUV. His hand squeezes my thigh hard. He’s angry I wasn’t waiting for him at the door with Gemma. Anne had told him I was talking to Harry. He leaned over and whispered to me viciously, “When we get to this dance….” He doesn’t finish and I know what’s going to happen. It makes my blood boil. Harry’s words about my mother ring in my ears. He was right.

When we get to the dance I jump out of the car, slamming the door. Gemma and Dylan walk around the front of the car while Jake meets me behind it. He stands in front of me, towering over me. “I told you not to talk to that fucking guy. Why don’t you ever listen?” He pushes his forehead against mine. Hard. Fear rises like the tide,but I shove it down. I will not let him conquer me. I shove him away. He stumbles, caught off guard.

"I don't think I wanna do this anymore." I say to Jake. He looks surprised, taken aback. But I won't be my mother. I will be better than her.

"It's that guy isnt it? That Harry guy, Gemma's brother."

"No-"

"I've seen the way he looks at you. But you are mine. You belong to me." I grit my teeth, I have to be brave.

"I'm done Jake....I don't want to see you again."

"You don't touch her!" I look just in time to see Gemma swing her purse at Jake, hitting him square in the face. He raises his arms to cover his face as she continues to hit him with it, screaming at him. “What the fuck is your problem?! Were you seriously bout to hit her?” Dylan stands off to the side, clearly not willing to step into Gemma's path of rage.

“I wasn’t!” Jake shouted. “I wasn’t gonna-” she punches him, blood spurts from his fingers as he covers his nose with his hand. “Mother fucker!” he shouts angrily, stepping towards Gemma.

“Hey man,” Dylan does step in now, moving forward slightly. “I think you’d better go.” Jake glares at me for a moment, before turning around and walking towards the end of the parking lot. I’m shaking, my nerves on fire, I stood up. I actually stood up for myself.

Gemma embraces me, wrapping her arms around me tightly. “Y/N. Are you okay?” she asks, pulling back to look at me. I nod and pull her in again, unwilling to let her go. I am so grateful to have her in my life. But I’m not much in the mood to dance and party now.

One of the teachers lets me use the office phone to call home. Harry agrees to pick me up and Gemma sits outside waiting with me, sending Dylan off to hang out with his friends. I tell Gem everything. She’s shocked and a little hurt that I kept it from her.

“You’ve been through so much shit Y/N,” she says in amazement. “I don’t know how you handle it.”

“I don’t really have a choice.” she smiles sadly, laying her head on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry you couldn’t tell me.” I rest my cheek on the top of her head.

“It’s not your fault Gem....Thank you”

“I would have killed him if I could have.” Harry pulls up a few minutes later. Gemma hugs me once more before walking back into the auditorium. I watch her, to make sure she gets inside. The car is warm, no radio on as I climb in. Harry glances at me as we begin the ten minute drive home.

“That was quick.” he says finally. My forehead rests against the window, I watch the houses go by.

“Yeah.”

“What happened?’ Harry asks. I sigh.

“Jake was mad that I was talking to you when he came to pick me up. We got into a fight. He tried to hit me but Gemma stopped him.” I explain how Gemma hit Jake with her purse and finally socked him a good one. Harry smiles, proud of his sister. I feel a little better as we pull up in front of our house. He parks the car but neither of us gets out.

“I’m sorry Y/N….” I look at Harry, his eyes are distant, far off, he’s staring at the street in front of him. “But I’m glad you finally realize you deserve better.” He smiles, it’s small and beautiful. The adrenaline is still pumping through my veins. I lean over, placing my hand on Harry's cheek, I tilt his face towards mine. His eyes hold a question, a curiosity. I answer it by pressing my mouth to his and kissing him as passionately as I can.

He’s breathless and wide eyed when I pull away. It’s a beautiful, satisfying expression.

“Yeah,” I trace his bottom lip with my fingers. He never takes his eyes off me. “I deserve someone like you.”

#harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #solo harry #hs fandom #hs imagine #hs fanfic #hs2 #hs1

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cuddlepilefics · 4 years ago

Text

8. The Grinch

Fandom: Stray Kids

Littles: Minho (4), Hyunjin (5), Felix (3)

Caregiver: Jeongin (M.), Seungmin (H.), Chan & Changbin (F.)

Chan’s POV.:

Having a week off to relax after the stress of producing our Christmas album, the three littles in our group decided to have a few days of little time. They tried to play by themselves as much as possible, not wanting to burden their caregivers as they were just as run down as the littles themselves. But as a caregiver myself, I didn‘t mind caring for them even though I was tired. Changbin and I have been Felix main caregivers ever since he came out as a little a few months ago. Although Jeongin was Minho‘s main caregiver and Seungmin took care of a regressed Hyunjin, we‘d all take care of the other littles as well, should they need us to.

The littles had regressed yesterday, immediately distancing themselves from us no matter how much we assured them that they weren‘t being a burden to us and that we‘d love to spend time with them. At the moment, the three had locked themselves in Minho‘s and Hyunjin‘s room and I could hear them talk in slightly higher voices than usual, muffled by the door. I sighed walking back to the living room where I found Changbin on the couch sipping his coffee. “Lixxie still doesn‘t want to see us?“, he guessed as he saw me returning alone. I gave him a sad smile while shaking my head and sat down next to him, running a hand through my hair. “Guys, has anyone seen Minho? We were cuddling last night but now he‘s gone as well as his teddy, that means he‘s little but I can‘t find him. What if he got lost or os in trouble?“, a clearly stressed Jeongin skidded into the living room, almost knocking over Seungmin who just wanted to grab himself some coffee. “Relax, Innie. All three are in Minho‘s and Hyunjin‘s room. Nobody got lost but I can‘t tell you whether they are in trouble or not because they won‘t open the door“, Changbin explained irritably, before getting up to dispose of his empty cup. He might not look like it on first sight but Changbin is a very caring and protective friend with a huge heart and he is especially soft for Felix. Not being able to be with our little was putting him on edge. “Yeah, I couldn‘t get back in when I returned from my shower earlier“, Seungmin stated taking a sip of his coffee, flinching as he burned his tongue. “Why don‘t they want to see us though?“, he frowned as he sat down next to me. “The way Lixxie put it, they feel like being egoistic for regressing. Saying it‘s our time off as well and we shouldn‘t have to spend it by taking care of them“, I rolled my eyes. “But that‘s stupid. There is no other way I‘d prefer to spend my time than by playing and cuddling my Minmin“, the maknae pouted biting into an apple afterwards.

“Good morning lovely family, did y’all miss me?“, Jisung yelled with a huge smile before plopping down at the table and shoving a heating spoonful of cereal into his mouth, making him look even more like a squirrel while he was chewing. “Not really, it was quiet for once“, Seungmin sassed earning a glare. “Chan-hyung, I‘m being bullied“, he whined with his mouth still full. “Sorry, I didn‘t understand a word like that, mind repeating after you swallowed?“, I teased before grabbing myself something to eat as well. I was worried our littles were missing their meal if they wouldn‘t come out of their room so I grabbed three strawberry yoghurts as well as three spoons and prepared a plate with apple slices which I all carried to their door placing it on the ground before knocking. “Lixxie, I brought the three of you some breakfast. It‘s right at the door so please eat something if you don‘t want to eat with the rest of us. There was no answer and I sighed, turning around to leave. When I was halfway down the hallway I could hear a quiet clicking noise. At least they had taken the food and were hopefully eating now. I wasn‘t as obvious as Changbin but being away from Felix, especially when he was little, stressed me out too.

When I returned to the living room I found the rest of my members in a dull mood, Jisung‘s smile having disappeared too, as the caregivers had told him what was going on right now. Jisung wasn‘t a caregiver to any of the littles but he was a very caring older brother who constantly showered them with love, watching them from time to time when one of us caregivers where busy. He didn‘t like them holing up and avoiding us so he immediately started brainstorming how we could lure them out of their room. The option to wait for them to become hungry was gone now that I had supplied them with food so we had to search for a new approach. “Hm, what do littles like…?“, he hummed more to himself than to us. “Oh, oh, I know, pillow forts and movies and cocoa and cookies and plushies“, he listed, getting more and more excited. Jeongin‘s face lit up immediately as he ran off to gather all the pillows and blankets from his and Jisung‘s shared room. I smirked at Changbin as we went to collect our pillows and blankets as well as a few plushies and coloring books Feilx had forgotten when dragging his little stuff to the other room. For the lack of access to his own room, Seungmin went to the kitchen to heat up a pot of milk, stirring in some chocolate and a dash of cinnamon.

Jisung had already started to turn the couch into a pillow fort, snatching the blankets from us right as we walked into the living room. If there was something Jisung was exceptionally good at besides rapping and singing, it was setting up pillow forts. It was a skill all the littles loved him for dearly. I went back to the locked door, knocking gently and listening to the hushed voices inside, debating whether they should answer me or not. “Cuties, I know that you heard me. Just wanted to tell you we‘re all hanging out in one of Jisung‘s pillow forts to watch a Christmas movie. We also have hot cocoa and cookies, so if you wanna join us you‘re very welcome. You know, a movie is always better with cuddles but I guess we could somehow survive without“, I informed them, making sure to sound as sad as I possibly could towards the end. I got no reaction so I went back to the living room, where Seungmin placed a few plates with different cookies onto the coffee table in the center of the pillow fort. The others looked at me expectantly as I returned alone and I smirked at them: “Just wait. They won’t be able to resist for too long.“

True to my words, we soon heard shuffling steps in the hall way but decided to pretend we didn‘t till I felt a shy tap on my shoulder. “Well hello there baby“, I whispered, gently pulling Felix into my lap. He giggled quietly, hiding his face in the crook of my neck. “Aww, I missed my sunshine sooo much“, Changbin smiled, wrapping his arms around Felix and me. When I looked up, I watched Hyunjin dig his toes into the carpet, facing the ground with a guilty expression. “Sorry, daddy for locking you out“, the oldest little mumbled, not daring to meet his caregiver‘s and roommate‘s eyes. Seungmin sighed tucking the messy strands of Hyunjin‘s long hair behind his ears. “I‘m not mad, sweetie. I was just sad and lonely because I missed you and you didn‘t want me there“ – “I-I want you. Was lonely too but daddy should have fun too. Don‘t want daddy be stuck with me“, the sensitive Hyunjin teared up a bit. “Shh, it‘s ok. We‘re both not lonely anymore now, are we? You know I always have fun when I‘m with you so I��d be the luckiest person if you‘d stick by my side, princess“, he assured the little. Minho was shy about approaching his caregiver too but one look at the maknae‘s wide smile told him that he didn‘t have to be.

Finally being reunited, we got settled in the pillow fort. Jisung went to the kitchen to fill the littles‘ sippycups with hot cocoa before setting up his laptop to turn on Netflix. Changbin grabbed a cookie holding it next to Felix head and finally getting the youngest little to look up from my neck. Blushing a little, he took a bite of the cookie and giggled to himself before eating the rest. Hyunjin was munching on the treats as well while Minho lay with his head in Jeongin‘s lap, letting the maknae hold the sippy to his lips. I took a small plastic bowl, adding a few of each cookies so we wouldn‘t have to get up from our seated position. Felix was quick to take one of the cookies, choosing my favorite kind and holding it up to my mouth while giving me huge puppy-eyes. I thanked him smiling before opening my mouth so he could feed me. Changbin next to me cooed at the adorable action and the little craned his neck to find the source of the sound, giggling happily as he also picked up a cookie for the older rapper. I heard the quiet clicking of a camera and glared at Jisung who just replied: “We need some Christmas-pictures for the family foto-collection.“

The littles were all still in their pajamas but for a lazy-day like today that was a perfectly suitable outfit. After scrolling through Netflix, we settled for watching The Grinch (2000). Felix had moved from my lap to Changbin‘s stretching his legs over mine while happily sucking on the sippy, Changbin held out for him. The first few minutes of the movie were absolute bliss, till the grinch appeared for the first part, causing Felix to squeal and hide his face in Changbin‘s chest. I rubbed his leg comfortingly and looked over at the other littles‘ reactions. Minho was pressed against Jeongin, covering his eyes and Hyunjin was clutching Seungmin‘s arm tightly while pretending not to be scared. We offered to turn off the movie and try to find something else to watch multiple times but the littles were insistent that they are big boys and want to finish the movie, though we could all tell they were scared.

After having lunch, we continued the rest of the day in a similar fashion, afraid the littles would hide away again if we didn‘t. The three of them got tired pretty early in the evening, probably because the fought so hard to finish the movie, clinging as tightly to their caregivers as physically possible. We all said good night as we went to tuck our babies in. When I carried Felix to our room, Changbin had already pushed our beds together so Felix could lay between us. We often did this when Felix regressed. He was an adorable cuddlebug when he was big and even more so when he was little. Not wanting to miss out on cuddles, we too decided to call it a night early and just go to bed at Felix‘ bedtime. The three of us huddled together in bed seemed like utter bliss and despite not being tired, the warmth lulled me to sleep quickly.

The peace wasn’t to last for long though and I startled awake at the sounds of my baby‘s cries. Changbin as awake already, rocking the little in his arms and mouthing nightmare when our eyes met. I ran my hand over Felix‘ back, shushing him: “What‘s wrong, sweetie?“ – “B-bad dweam. L-Lixxie scawed“, he choked, clinging to Changbin‘s shirt. I sighed, knowing it was a bad idea to let them finish The Grinch. “It‘s ok, bub. You‘re save, we‘ll protect you“, I cooed. “Lixxie, sit with Dada for a while, ok? Binnie will make you some warm milk with honey to calm down“, the rapper promised, shifting the little into my arms and getting up after kissing his forehead. While Changbin went to the kitchen to fill Felix‘ bottle, I gently talked him down, making my Australian accent more prominent. When he had calmed down a bit, I picked him up and followed Changbin to the kitchen. There we found Seungmin, fixing Hyunjin a sippycup of vanilla milk while the little sat on the counter watching him. Hyunjin felt to big to use a bottle but wanted the comfort of warm milk so that‘s why they settled for a sippycup. I lifted Felix onto the counter next to him and the dancer quickly wrapped his arm around the younger. “Let me guess, nightmare?“, I asked. Seungmin nodded rubbing his face tiredly. “Don‘t be scared, Lixxie. Nothing can happen when we all stay together“, the dancer assured putting on his brave face in front of the younger. “Thanks Jinnie“, the freckled boy yawned.

When both drinks for the littles were heated up, Changbin carried Felix to the living room while Hyunjin being the big boy he is, walked himself, holding Seungmin‘s hand. Upon entering the living room, our eyes fell onto the couple laying in the pillow fort. Minho was curled up in Jeongin‘s arms, drinking from the bottle the maknae held to his lips, keeping his eyes closed. Jisung was the first to notice us, while he strung up fairylights all across the living room. “Seems like we‘re having a sleepover“, he laughed, plucking in the last fairylight, filling the room with dim, warm light as we all settled back into the pillow fort where we had already spent all day. While we fed the exhausted littles their bottles, stroking their backs soothingly, Jisung quietly hummed his version of Me after you. The first little to nod off was Minho, after mumbling a quiet “I love you, Innie“ into the maknae‘s shirt. Felix followed suit, having finished about two thirds of his bottle. Hyunjing was the last to go to sleep, placing his sippy down, he curled into Seungmin, telling his daddy he loved him and receiving kiss on the cheek in return. We caregivers wished each other and Jisung good night before we closed our eyes as well.

#fanfic #comfort #angst #christmas #little #little space #headspace #agere #skz #stray kids #cute

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iamdorka · 5 years ago

Text

Mad

Nobody asked for it, but I wrote it because it was a conversation topic between my friend @pixieontheave and me. Hope you will like it! 💋

Being mad at him:

- Sometimes (to be honest most of the time) he acts like a child, with which you don't usually have a problem because that's one of the reasons why you two are together, because you can act live him too but sometimes he just takes is further than usual.

- Like the time when he broke his new car and... he just laughed at it. He really believed that it was just a joke at he could laugh it off which he actually did... you on the other hand couldn't do such a thing.

- This time you really had enough. And the fact that you didn't know about the crash from him but Mod... it was just the cherry on the top.

- 'Chill out babe, everything is fine. We can get it fixed it no time.' he said it to you when you left him a short, but very powerful voicemail which said 'I'm going to kill you'.

- You didn't give shit about his car because yeah that was 'just another material thing' but this mentality what he was having just pissed the hell out of you.

- (Even if his car looked cool and hot as fuck especially with him in it but your heart had another favorite... Slim's bad baby boy. Even if you didn't have a license you knew you would steal it from him in the near future... probably with C but that's another thing.)

- He didn't really realise that you were mad at him until you later swinged by the studio because you were cooking already lunch for yourself on your day off so you thought it would be cool to give them some home cooked meal while they are working. To be honest for him the only meat you would bring him would be your fist in his face but you awkward smiled at him not really saying a word or doing anything else.

- 'You are leaving already?' he asked when after like a little bit more than 30 minutes you were already on your way leaving them here. 'Ohhh yeah... I just have a car to crash, I would love to being in an accident then just laugh about it because it's so damn funny' you grinned at him and without giving him a goodbye kiss you were out of that place.

- You are just as stubborn as him, and he would like never admit it but you knew you were even worse than him in that case. So being in this state with him was like a ticking time bomb waiting to be explode than destroy everything around it and around you. At least it was like this while he was not around but you knew when he would come to yours... you would open your mouth and that would be it. But to be honest you hoped that he would not come near you that day. You needed your distance.

- You ditched your phone for the day, the only thing from that thing which interested you was your spotify playlist which helped you being fueled while you were cleaning your apartment. When you are mad, you usually clean so it wasn't that much of a surprise that your place was as shiny clean to the time you were done with it as if it was just new.

- You didn't really think that he was coming to yours that day knowing about his stubbornness quite well so you were surprised when he showed up.

- 'You know I have keys too' he said when you didn't let him in and you just put your headphones on and with the maximum volumen listening to your favorite A Day To Remember songs you kept going. But you knew damn well that the chains won't let him in even if he tried his best.

- You were happy with your music on, it distracted you the best way possible. You put all of your attention into understanding the lyrics and the little dancing you did. Fuck it... it wasn't dancing at all, it was like a fish getting to to dry beach and fighting for its life but you called that your dance so that was it. Jumping around, letting every part of your body doing what they wanted.

- Probably that's why you didn't notice that your dumbass boyfriend was coming into your aparment...through your window. To get to your balcony was a challenge to begin with because there were no stairs and the only possibility to get there was from your neighbor's balcony which included some real dangerous climbing.

- You spinned because a new song started playing and that's when you noticed him, getting an intense heart attack because of him being a surprise there.

- There he was, smiling at you like he hadn't done anything bad, like everything he was doing was the most normal thing ever.

- 'I will call the police' you said while doing what you had started before not caring about that he was there with you.

- 'No... you won't' he replied than he was behind you and took your headphones off.

- 'But I will cut your hands off if you touch me again. You can believe me on that.' you threatened him not even looking at him.

- And there he was, not saying a word, just having that smirk on his face while looking at you. You didn't know what his tactics were (usually it involved make up sex because he knew you couldn't say no to him) but you couldn't care less so you did what you wanted: not giving your attention to him, like he wasn't even there.

- Calm before the storm. This is what is was. You just let building it inside of you while he was there... just existing. The universe just needed that spark to light you two on fire... and there it was that spark.

- You just reached a point where you couldn't hold yourself more. He had the chillest look on his face while scrolling through his phone sitting in your kitchen counter while you...while you were just there, like the calmest boiling water... from the outside. your inside was another thing.

- You thought it would be a good idea to make yourself a smoothie to help your nerves calm down but when you were almost done, he took it from you and that was the moment when you simple just broke. Not even thinking you just throw it at him. 'You want it? You get it. Enjoy your meal asshole.'

- And there it started, the fire. You didn't hold yourself back, you burned him to the ground because you had enough of his bullshit attitude. You said everything to him what was inside your head, your mind, your heart, your soul.

- He tried to argue with you and even if most of the times he had what it took to debate with you... now he didn't even have a chance. If looks could kill... he would be that dead already.

- 'Sweet talk won't be the answer. Your dick won't solve a thing this time'. your truest reaction for his intentions when he wanted to get closer to you, choosing his 'go to' strategy. He just couldn't wash that mischievous smile from his face. And that pissed you off even more. He danced on thin ice.

- 'I see you don't take me serious... so please... fuck off. You know where the door is. I can't keep arguing because when I say a word you don't seem to want to understand it, not a single word. I lost my interest in this fight.' as your final words left your lips you slowly walked to the door and this time you opened that for him.

- 'I can't take it serious because nothing big happened. Not a scratch on me. Nothing. It's just a car.' you just couldn't understand how he could keep saying this.

- 'But that car wasn't alone. YOU were in it. It's just hurts so much that you are thinking this way. I couldn't survive if something happened to you because your drunk, high as fuck ass sit behind the wheel without thinking. And from now on I don't even think I can sit in a car... And I wasn't even there with you. How can you not see that you mean the world to me asshole?'

- 'You are overreacting babe... really... I didn't want to hurt you... I never even would think about that.' he said, stopping his steps in front of you.

- 'I still wanna have you gone... ' you couldn't just let him win, not this time. You wanted to show him that his actions have consequences. Now it meant some time alone.

- 'Okay...' he agreed then leaned closer to you just to blow a kiss on your cheek. It was a small, sweet kiss. In your belly those butterflies wanted to fly... but you killed them. You had to.

- Even if it took you every strength in your body, you let him go. You had to have that day to think... without him.

- The thing you wasn't prepared for that when later that night you wanted to leave your apartment to bring the trash out your boyfriend was sitting, technically laying in front of your apartment in the corridor passed out, with his phone between his fingers.

- How could a grown ass man, who is bat shit crazy and irresponsible most of the time be this calm and cute when he sleeps? A whole ass different person was in front off you. It almost had you. He almost had you.

- You wanted to touch his face, just to feel his soft face on your fingertips but when you almost did that.... he opened his eyes.

- 'You still hate me?' - he asked with his raspy voice. That was your wakeup call just to get away from him. Far far away.

- 'You still an asshole?' you asked back.

- 'What are you doing?' he asked quietly and for a moment you thought he was a different person.

- 'Just bringing you some company... ' you pointed to the sack you were holding before and now it was beside him and with that you left him there with it.

- You knew you would solve it later... tomorrow but at that moment you just couldn't look at him.

- Being mad at him is always the hardest thing to do but sometimes you just couldn't escape from it... nor could he.

Tag list (write me if you wanna be on it❤)

@no-shxt-sherl @kiss-yall @bakerkells @backoftheroomandnotbelonging @mgk-rooklover1997 @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @southernmgkpunk @thegunnerkelly @lovemythsworld @painkillerash @thegunnerkelly @rosegoldrichie @pinksocktingz @itjustkindahappenedreally @cclynn88 @bluehairedtracii

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colbybrocksmolder · 5 years ago

Text

Lie Detector - Colby Brock x Reader (self-love issues)

“Mike! You’re next!” Sam yelled, Colby slapping him on the ass when he went to stand up.

“This is fucking terrifying” Mike laughed, his hands already sweating. You had recorded a few videos earlier but now you were just messing around. The lie detector operator slowly got him hooked up to the machine and your whole group started throwing questions at him.

“Which guy in the room would you date if you HAD to date one of them” you asked, Mike being one of your best friends, you loved messing with him. He looked around and considered his options.

“I can’t pick Kevin. He’s hung like a horse. I don’t think I could handle that” Mike quipped, everyone in the room busting out in laughter. “Honestly? I’d have to say Colby. It would be like having a pet cat. All you need to do is put on some good music, feed him, and give him cuddles.”

“Why is that so accurate?” Sam laughed.

“I’m offended you think Kevin has a bigger dick than me!” Colby dramatically argued.

“I don’t know! I’ve never seen your dick!” Mike laughed looking to you. “Is Colby hung like a horse or a cat?” He asked, expecting you to have an answer.

“How the fuck am I supposed to know?” You threw your arms up in defense.

“Wait, really?” Jake asked. “I thought you two were...well never mind then” he laughed. “I thought Colby had finally gotten the balls to...”

“Hey! Don’t insult my dick AND my balls!” Colby blushed and fake shoved Jake, not letting him finish his sentence.

Mike laughed “Can I be done with my turn?”

“Pick someone to go next” Sam told him.

“Y/n! Get your ass in the hot seat!” Mike called, your heart immediately starting to race.

“Do I have to?” You pleaded. “I’ll do anything not to be hooked up to that thing.”

“Don’t be a pussy!” Kevin called out.

“We all have to do it” Kat added.

“Fuuuuck.” You sat in the chair, trying to calm yourself.

“Okay, y/n. Who is the funniest person in the room?” Kevin asked.

“Mike. 100%.” You answered.

“True” everyone heard your answer confirmed by the lie detector operator.

“Awww, I feel all fuzzy inside” Mike said, making you laugh.

“Who is the most attractive” Sam asked.

“Everyone is attractive for different reasons” you argued.

“Fuck that, you have to pick” he argued.

“Colby” you answered, looking over at his cheeks turn pink.

“True”

Jake jumped right into the next question. “Would you sleep with anyone in this room?” He asked.

“No.” You answered, seeing a few confused faces.

“True”

“WHAT?” Kat stared at you. She knew you were in love with Colby, so she didn’t know how you managed to slide by on that one. “Hmmm...would you date anyone in this room?” She asked, trying to catch you in what she thought was a lie.

“No.” You answered confidently, seeing her mouth drop open.

“True”

“Damn. Either she’s a really good liar or she thinks we’re all gremlins” Kevin laughed.

“Am I done yet?” You asked, just wanting to get the fuck out of this apartment.

“One more” Mike said. “Would you rather LOOK happy and be wealthy and popular or BE happy and be poor and unknown.”

“I’d rather actually be happy” You answered.

“True” the operator said, moving to take the equipment off of you.

“Pick someone to go next” Sam reminded you.

“Colby” you answered, reaching for your bag and sliding on your shoes.

Colby stood up to head to the hot seat. “Where are you going?” He asked.

“I have to get going. I didn’t realize how late it had gotten” you answered, walking out the door and ignoring calls of your name.

Colby went to stand up, but he was already hooked up to the lie detector. “Is she alright?” He asked Kat.

“I think so.” She answered. “I’ll check on her in a little bit. I don’t want to bug her while she’s driving.”

“I’m mad I don’t get to ask you this in front of her, now” Jake smirked at Colby. “Are you in love?”

“No.” He answered.

“False” the lie detector operator said.

“Colbyyy” Jake said in a knowing voice.

“Yes” Colby sighed.

“True”

“Is the person here?” Sam continued.

“Not anymore” Colby looked towards the door with a sad look on his face.

“True”

“Why haven’t you asked y/n out?” Mike asked. “I honestly thought you guys were together.”

“You heard her. She doesn’t like me.” Colby answered, undoing the lie detector equipment himself. “I’ll see you guys later.”

“Colby!” Kat ran after him. “I don’t know how she passed the lie detector, but I know she loves you. She’s told me. I’m just as confused as you are.”

“No one else got away with any lies, Kat.” Colby said, walking to his apartment and closing the door.

A full week had passed and nobody had heard from you. You had ignored messages, you had avoided social media, and you were definitely skipping Pizza Night tonight. The one thing you had done is listen to a voicemail that Colby had left you. And you regretted that.

“Hey, Y/n.” Colby sighed, already a few drinks in at Sam’s. “I know I haven’t seen you at all this week, but I still hoped I’d see you at Sam’s tonight. I know sometimes you just want to be alone and I’ve always respected that. I’m the same way, but come on...a week? Is the thought of me caring about you so fucking horrible? I don’t care if you don’t want to date me, but Jesus y/n...does our friendship not mean anything to you? You just left. Kat keeps trying to convince me you tricked that stupid machine but I know better than her. You aren’t a liar. That’s why you can’t answer my fucking phone calls.”

And with that, Colby hung up. He downed a few more shots and threw himself into the festivities that accompany Pizza Night.

“Colby, come on.” Mike was helping Sam by dragging Colby to his own apartment.

“I can walk on my own” he frowned at Mike.

“I know, buddy. I just wanted to walk with you.” Mike smiled over at him, knowing not to argue with a drunk friend.

“That’s so nice of you.” Colby smiled at Mike.

“You really went hard tonight” Mike teased him, setting Colby down on the edge of his own bed.

“Y/n hates me. Didn’t want to think about it anymore.” Colby answered, watching Mike take his shoes and socks off for him.

“Y/n doesn’t hate you.” Mike gave Colby a sad look.

“That’s what it feels like.” Colby answered. “It feels like the first time I convinced myself someone could maybe like me for me they ran away and deleted my number.”

“Colby, a lot of people like you for you.” Mike argued, helping him out of his jeans.

“Nope.” Colby insisted. “They like money, followers, parties, sex, popularity, attention...they like who I know...they like drama.” His ramble fizzled out.

“I’m offended.” Mike tried to lighten the mood, looking for a pair of sweatpants for Colby to wear. “I like you for your body and nowhere in there did you say anything about that.”

Colby genuinely chuckled at what Mike had said. “I don’t mean you. You’re my brother, brother. You’re one of the trusted few.”

“Glad to hear it.” Mike said, getting Colby into the sweatpants.

“You know the thought of asking her out terrified me.” Colby said.

“Why is that?” Mike asked, pulling Colby’s button up shirt off of his shoulders.

“Because she doesn’t need me, dude.” He said, letting Mike pull a t-shirt over his head and falling back on the bed. He snuggled into his bed and continued. “She doesn’t want more followers or fame or attention. She hates drama. She doesn’t let people buy her things or pay for her meals. I have nothing to offer her.”

Mike sat down on the bed next to Colby. “Isn’t that what we’re all looking for, though? We want to find someone who chooses us because they want to. Not because they need something.”

“Exactly.” Colby said, sadly. “And she didn’t choose me.”

Mike looked over at Colby and saw his eyes were closed. He pulled a blanket over his friend and left.

You heard banging on your door and flew out of bed to peek out your window. “Y/N! Let me the fuck in!” You heard Mike yell, followed closely by a “Sorry Mrs. Norris. I’ll be sure to watch my language from now on, I promise.”

You laughed a little, seeing the tiny elderly woman scolding Mike.

You opened the door and Mike walked straight in. “Come in, I guess?” You said, closing your door.

Mike sat on your counter, waiting for you to follow him. “What do I need to do to get you to talk to me? Do we need to get drunk? High? Go for a drive?” Mike asked, a blank expression on his face.

“What do you mean?” You asked.

“I want to pick your brain apart, because the Y/n I know wouldn’t have let tonight go down like it did.” Mike hopped off your counter looking mad.

You backed away a step. “What happened? Is everyone okay?”

Mike humorlessly laughed. “You don’t get to know that, y/n. Wanna know why? Because you weren’t fucking there.”

“Mike, I can’t.” You said, feeling your eyes well with tears. You tried to keep them from spilling over. “Every time I’m around you guys, I start to let myself think I belong there. Every time Colby asks me about my day or follows me around or pulls me to sit by him...I’m not going to let myself fantasize about something I’m never going to have.”

“Y/n.” Mike said softly, pulling you into his arms. “Why do you think you can’t have it?”

“Because I can’t.” You stepped out of Mike’s arms and walked back towards your room.

“I know you care about Colby.” Mike said, following you. “Why didn’t the lie detector catch that? It makes zero sense.”

“I said I wouldn’t date anyone in the room.” You crawled into your bed. “If I refuse to date anyone ever, that applies to the people in the room, yes?”

“Fuuuuuck” Mike sighed. He sat on your bed next to where you were laying down. “Why are you so afraid to let him in?”

“I’m fine by myself. It’s safer alone.” You tried to halt your tears, taking a deep breath.

“Y/n, if you always take the safe road you’re going to miss out on so much.” He said, shaking his head. He knew you struggled with letting people in, but he didn’t think it fucked you up as much as it did.

“If I live my little life in my little apartment with my little goals…I don’t have to starve myself or compete with anyone else.” Word started flying out of your mouth with little permission from you. “I don’t have to be the prettiest or the skinniest or the one with the best skin. I don’t have to worry about having the person I love wish I looked more like that girl he met at a party or be afraid to show off their average girlfriend. I refuse to be someone’s regret, Mike. I’m not going to waste anyone’s time. I’m better off by myself and he’s better off just skipping me instead of stressing out about letting me down easy when the next girl comes along.”

The both of you were silent. You were cried out and Mike was heartbroken for you. “Colby got hammered tonight.” Mike sighed. “He told me he was terrified to tell you how he felt because he knows you don’t need him…so if that was your goal, your message was heard loud and clear.”

“He called me” you whispered.

“And?” Mike prodded.

“He’s really mad at me.” Your voice caught in your throat.

“He’s not mad, Y/n. He’s heartbroken.” Mike so wanted to fix this for the two of you. “You know he doesn’t let anyone in either? He doesn’t think anyone is going to love him for him. Those are his words.”

“Everyone loves him, Mike.” You said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“That’s what I said, but he made a good point.” Mike tried to explain. “He comes with a lot of things that people want more than him. Fame and money and bullshit. The good news is that he thinks that you’re different. The bad news is that he thinks you don’t care.”

“I care too much.” You said quietly into your pillow.

“Well at least have the balls to tell him that to his face because he tried letting you in and you left. And that’s not fair. You’re so worried about keeping yourself safe that you’re hurting everyone that cares about you. You broke both of your hearts in the process of trying not to break your own.” Mike stood to leave.

“Where is he?” you asked, sitting up.

“Alone.” Mike shook his head. “I left his apartment unlocked so that Sam and Kat can check on him.”

You pulled your phone out and listened to his voicemail for the 100th time. “Can you drive me over there?” you asked, looking for your shoes.

“Why do you think I’m here?” Mike laughed, chucking one of your flip flops at you.

When you got to Colby’s apartment, Mike went and laid down on the couch. He had planned on coming back and crashing there regardless of whether or not you came. You ditched your shoes and walked into Colby’s room. He was curled into a ball, laying on his side. The stuffed animal you always teased him for having tucked against his chest. “Colby” you said, sitting down on the side of his bed. “Colby, wake up.” When he didn’t budge, you shook his shoulder and pulled the stuffed Koala out of his grip.

“Mike, I just want to sleep.” He said, rolling over to the other side of the bed, facing the wall.

“I’m sorry” you said, moving to lay behind him. You slipped your arm around his waist and hugged him to your chest. “We can talk in the morning.”

“Y/n?” he asked, holding your arms tight against him but not rolling over to face you.

“I’m sorry, Colby.” You softly said, trying not to break down in tears again.

Colby started mumbling something that sounded like “This is a dream. It’s just a dream.”

“Do you want me to go?” you asked, moving to pull your arm back.

Colby held your arm tight to his chest. “This isn’t a dream?”

“No” you answered, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck.

Colby turned over to face you, seeing your face wet with tears. “Why are you crying?” he asked, leaning in to clumsily press kisses to both of your cheeks.

“That shouldn’t be your first question when I’m the one that fucked this up so badly.” You said, closing your eyes. “I’m so sorry.” You tried to calm your sobs.

“Y/n, I love you. I’m not going to stop loving you just because you fucked something up once.” He said, slipping his arms around you. “Come here.”

You moved to lay against Colby’s side. “I love you too, you know.”

“I don’t know if I can let myself believe that.” He said, his breath stuttering like he was afraid to speak. “I’m terrified that the second I believe it you’re gonna leave again.”

You sat up a bit so you could look him in the eyes, your hand moving to caress his cheek. “Colby, I’m just as scared as you are. I’m so so sorry I let you think I didn’t love you.” You leaned down to connect your lips, feeling his move against yours. “I promise I won’t leave again.”

Colby rolled the two of you over, his face hovered above yours. “Y/n, don’t promise me something you don’t mean.”

You could feel his breath against your face, his soft blue eyes set on yours waiting for your answer. You gently set your hands on either side of his face, speaking softly. “Colby, I am so scared. And I’m probably going to freak out a few times because I stopped letting people in a long time ago…but I promise you, I won’t leave.”

Colby let his weight gently rest against you as he captured your lips in another kiss. “Thank you for coming back.” He said, adjusting his body down the bed so he could cuddle his face into your soft chest. “It’s okay if you freak out, y/n. As long as you let me, I’ll be there to help you every single time.”

“That’s a big job you’re applying for.” You softly laughed, running your fingers through his hair.

“So?” He replied. “It’s the most important one I’ve got.”

“How did I get so lucky?” you said, dumbfounded by his words.

“It’s not luck.” He mumbled, slowly falling closer to slumber. “You’re worth it…I love you.”

“I love you too, Colby.” You felt him snuggle just a bit closer. “So much.”

#colby brock #colby brock x reader #colby brock imagine #colby brock fanfiction #colby brock oneshot

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

Text

Survey #352

my head’s a mess and a half, i can’t think of lyrics to put here so yeah here’s the survey

What’s the last vegetable you ate, and when did you eat it? Uh I think it was a pepper in this Healthy Choice dinner bowl I had yesterday. What was your last Facebook notification for? A friend liking this photo I shared of some beautiful, small rock and pebble sculptures of people. What bands have you seen live? Just Alice Cooper. Tell me an interesting fact about your mother: She only has one kidney due to the other being taken out because of kidney cancer when I was a kid. Coincidentally, her father was actually born with only one as well. What do you think is the most important thing to happen to you before the age of 13? Nothing really comes to mind. What were you super against as a young child but aren’t anymore? SUPER against? I dunno, man. What are your plans later today? I don't know. Yesterday my mother informed me that Jason's mother died, and since then I've been in shock. I was in awful condition yesterday because I absolutely adore(d) her like she was MY family, and once upon a time I thought she would be officially, and I still feel very, very dead. I doubt I'll get anything done today. Are you doing anything exciting this weekend? Definitely not exciting... Mom and possibly I are probably bringing Jason's family food for the family get-together they're having (we're not staying for... obvious reasons), but she's unsure because it might be a bit too awkward. I'll stay in the car because I don't want to disrespect Jason's space, but I REALLY want to go through with this. His mom was so important to me, and I don't want to just... do nothing as if she meant just that. I want the family to know I never stopped caring just because there was a breakup. Plus I wanna give Jason his favorite chocolate bar to try to bring him a bit of happiness. I can't imagine what he's feeling, and my instinct of "I need to protect him" absolutely never went away. Who do you talk to the most? My mom. What are some things you do regularly that make you feel old? Go to bed before 9PM, sometimes even before 8. And my knees pop like a motherfucker. Who is your best guy friend(s)? Girt and Sam. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Neither; instead, I just wish it was clearer. I have extremely dry skin, especially on my arms, so I have little bumps and marks there, as well as little freckles over my body. Having like, porcelain skin would be amaaaazing. If you had a tiny scar on your face, would you get it removed or just keep it? Keep it. Look more badass, haha. Have you had an x-ray in the past year? I think so, on my legs. It may have been over a year ago, idr. Do you think your first love still loves you? I don't want to know. I really don't. What is something that is “going right” in your life? *blinks* When did you feel ready to start dating? Seriously, probably late middle school. When was the last time your pet bit you? If you don’t have a pet, have you ever been bitten by someone else’s? My snake Venus has never bitten me. Meanwhile, my cat Roman lightly (and sometimes not so lightly...) bites me pretty much every day when I play with him, lol. Where were you the last time you made out? My bed. When was the last time you cried tears of joy? I probably haven't done that since I met Sara irl. How do you type your sad smileys? One of these three: :( or :c or :< Do you have “decorative hand-towels” that cannot be used in your house? No. What was the last soda you drank? Mountain Lightning, a Mtn. Dew ripoff bc we're cheap, lol. What was the last thing someone made fun of you for? I don't know. Have you ever had any type of surgery? Yeah, a cyst removal as well as tubes in my ears. Should kids be allowed to get tattoos/piercings without parental consent? Uh no????? Who was the last person to hit on you? That I'm actually aware of, Sara. I'm quite sure nobody has since. What was the last thing you decided not to do, that you were supposed to? I was too weak to even clean the litterbox last night. I just wanted to go to bed. I need to do it today. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to tell someone? Hm. Maybe that I didn't love Joel? It was just really awkward and I felt awful about the whole situation. What do you put on hot dogs? Ketchup and mustard. Ever fallen in the shower? I've fallen OUT of the shower. I was extremely dizzy and was trying to get out, and I just passed out onto my chin. Broke some molars and got a concussion. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever called someone you care about? Probably a bitch or something. Do you think that things will get better? I sure hope so. Have you ever legitimately saved a person’s life? I guess I kinda have. My WoW friend Lisa and I were talking, and she wasn't feeling well at all when she suddenly disappeared. Coincidentally, her husband got home RIGHT when I messaged her again, wanting to check up on her, and he heard the alert so checked it out. Lisa was knocked out on the couch having some medical emergency with a name I can't remember, and he just thought she was sleeping. Because of seeing the chat, he took her to the hospital when she probably would've died otherwise. She insists I saved her. What’s your favourite book genre? Fantasy. Have you ever walked out of a movie at the theatre? No. Do dogs like you? They definitely seem to. Animals in general honestly do. Would you say that you project an air of authority? Definitely not. Have you ever jumped off a high dive into a pool? No. I've always wanted to, but I was too scared at any opportunity. Do you use one towel when you shower or two? (one for hair, one for body) I just use one. I dry my hair first, then my body. Have you ever been to one of the great lakes? No, but I did see one of them from a plane when I was flying to Sara's. Who do you know that had a baby recently? My high school friend had her daughter Persephone literally a couple days ago. Cute little thing. Do you like Usher’s songs? Oh wow, what a blast from the past. I don't even recall the names of any, but I remember I enjoyed some as a kid. When was the last time you went to a waterpark? Wow, it has been YEARS. Like, not since I was a teen. Have you ever ridden a train? No. What do you eat your French fries with? Ketchup, sometimes. Do you have family problems? Not really. What’s the last food you ate that was stale? Bread, I think. How do you like your grilled cheese? Just a normal 'ole grilled cheese. What is the most challenging meal you have ever cooked? I don’t cook. What was your favorite thing to do as a little kid? Play video games. Have you ever been close to drowning? Yikes, no. Have you ever had a panic attack? Countless. Do you like doing housework? No, who does? Would you ever get implants? Nah. Do you own a robe? No. Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Yeah, Nicole. Do you like crust on pizza or do you cut it off? I don't trust people who don't eat pizza crust. What was the last song you listened to? "The Ghost of You" by My Chemical Romance. It's making me cry, but I really need to. Have any of your family members been to jail? No. None that I know of, anyway. Is there anyone that you feel you still need some closure with? An old friend, yes. Can you remember when you first learned how to read? No. What event in your life has transformed your personality the most? My mental illnesses as a whole. Have you ever had any teeth pulled? No. Do you still want to be what you wanted to be in elementary school? No, but only because it's not realistic. I don't want to travel. What’re some TV shows that you would like to get into? I don't care about TV 'til MM resumes, and then absolutely whenever The Edge of Sleep is released. Mark is a key actor in it. How would you feel if you were drafted for the military? I couldn’t be. What is your favorite Queen song? Ha, I'm aware this is probably everyone's answer, but "Bohemian Rhapsody" is the bop of all bops. Do you know how to use any foreign currency? No. Been kissed by someone who you knew was “bad” for you? BEEN kissed, yeah. By Juan. Ever taken an at-home pregnancy test? No. When was the last time you were at a loss of what to do? Now. What did you do on your favorite date with a guy/girl? It was a group date where we went to this big arcade one night. What’s a movie you have seen in the theater more than once? None. What is the reason you’re still alive? That's a big answer that I'm not in the mood to ramble about. Have you ever had sex in someone else’s bed/bedroom? Yeah, oops. Do you ever brush your hair before you go to bed? No. Have you ever had a dream about sleeping with a celebrity? (You don’t have to give details.) HAHA this was the only lucid dream I've ever had lmfao. Has anyone ever told you that they needed you? Do you think they meant it? I don't remember. How did you feel when you woke up today? What was the first thing you thought about? Like shit. "Virginia's still dead" just bitchslapped me. Do you still tell your parents that you love them? Well yeah. Have you ever said “I love you” to someone you weren’t going out with? Yes, because I really did. Have you ever been threatened before? Yes. Would you date someone with a physical disability? Yeah. Think of the last person you had sex with. Do you think they’ve slept with anyone else since they last slept with you? Probably. The last time you dyed your hair, what color did you dye it? Red. Think of the last time you went out to eat. Who paid? My mom. Do you save at least 15 percent of your income? What income? Do you ever go on Reddit? If so, what are some of your favorite subreddits? No. Were you ever a flower girl or ring bearer in anyone’s wedding when you were little? No. Are your parents in good health? Not especially. They're both probably unhealthier than the average person. Dad smokes way too much to be healthy, and Mom has a plethora of issues. Have you ever been a caregiver to a sick/disabled relative? No; it sounds awful, but I'm very doubtful I could be because I canNOT clean another human being. Is there any type of medicine you can’t take? For what reason? No. Do you have a favorite pair of pajamas? What do they look like? They're black Pokemon pants with Pikachu jumping by the logo. Do you have any interesting pillow cases? No. If something on your body hurts, which part is it most likely to be? My knees. Are you more afraid of spiders or bees? Both, but situationally. Have you ever worn fake nails? If so, what did the last pair you wore look like? Only once for prom. They were maroon, like my dress. Wait... or maybe I didn't wear them? Fuck, idr. Is Russian or Native American history more interesting to you? Native American history is way more fascinating to me.

#survey #surveys #questions

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