#i just wanna be able to do things!!! i wanna write can i PLEASE stop dying

[johnnysuhbmarine]

Too Good to be Fake

Pairing: Jaemin x reader Description: If there was one thing Na Jaemin was known for, it was being a fuckboy with no interest in commitment. If there was one thing you knew him for, it was being your best friend…and long-time crush. When his group of guy friends gets tired of the roster Jaemin seems to be running through, they propose a deal - they’d each give him $100 if he could settle down with one girl for at least three months. But that was easy money to Jaemin. After all, he could just fake-date you. Content warnings: swearing, talk about sex, mentions/consumption of alcohol, a panic attack (not the reader), one punch gets thrown, reader has a somewhat bad relationship with her parents, their obliviousness to the other’s feelings makes you want to slam your head against a wall, some angst but it’s mainly through unaddressed fluff. Please let me know if I’ve missed anything. Word count: 31,947 A/n: I didn’t know I could write this much, but after making my smau, I was ITCHING for written work ahahahhahahahaha. Please enjoy, though who am I to tell you what to do…as always, feedback would be greatly appreciated. I love you :) also because I must tag @fullsunstrawberry in everything I do...here you go - I love you the mostest!

The semester was in full swing for just over a month, and Haechan was already tired of the amount of girls Jaemin had brought over to their apartment. The first two years of university cemented Jaemin’s image as resident fuckboy, but no one cared about the fact that they couldn’t keep him for more than a night because he was hot enough to make the one night worth it. Similarly, Jaemin couldn’t care less about being labeled a fuckboy - at the end of the day, all it meant was that he was able to get his dick wet with no added pressure from the expectation to ever commit; the concept seemed like heaven to him.

However, the start of junior year had his best friends thinking it was time for a change. As Jaemin sat down in one of their usual cafés for lunch, all eyes were on him. “Alright, Jaemin, we figure you’ve had your fun for the past two years now,” Chenle said with a gleam in his eyes. 

“Too much fun…” Haechan adds under his breath.

Jaemin looked around at the group with furrowed brows. “Whatever is going on, can we stop it and just have our coffee and sandwiches like normal? Why am I being targeted for the amount of fun I’m having? You’ve all had your fair share of fun, too.” 

Jeno let out a small laugh at Jaemin’s defense. “Yeah, but we aren’t nicknamed the campus fuckboy. Plus, we’ve all been in actual relationships during our time in college.” 

Jaemin’s face drops, no longer interested at all in the conversation they were clearly wanting to have. “I could be in a relationship if I wanted to be, I just don’t want to,” he’s quick to mutter in reply. 

“Why not?” Renjun asks, raising his eyebrows in wait.

Jaemin lets out a scoff. “All that love and commitment is stupid. You guys put so much effort into your previous relationships and yet, we’re all currently sitting at this table single. There’s no one who makes me want to even try being in a relationship. Why would I want to risk wasting all that effort on someone?”

His six best friends eyed each other around the table, either not buying it or not caring. “Look man,” Mark starts, getting Jaemin to turn his attention over to him. “Regardless of how you feel about love, Haechan is tired of listening to you and whatever girl you bring home that night…and he’s especially tired of it always being a different girl to walk in on him while he’s singing in the kitchen making breakfast. So, to maybe help him out, and also to test your ability because honestly, I don’t know if any of us think you’re capable…in the nicest way possible, of course. We wanna propose a bet- or a deal is probably the better word for it.” Jaemin shoots his gaze over to the rest of them, but no one bore a look of amusement, they were all curiously locked in. “If you can get a girlfriend and settle down for at least three months, we’ll give you $600.”

Well originally, Jaemin had no interest in any part of this, but if everything worked out the way his brain was planning it, that $600 could potentially be easy cash…not to mention a lot of it.

“I’m in,” he pipes up immediately, truthfully stunning his best friends at the table. Nevertheless, they all shake on it, and then Jaemin only has one thing to do…after finishing his coffee and sandwich, of course.

One day later, you get a text from Jaemin. Free to catch up today? Your cheeks blush warmly at the message. It wasn’t anything special, but after being glued to each other’s sides during high school, college saw you and Jaemin having considerably less time for each other; so it was always nice to see you were still a thought in his mind because truly, you missed your best friend like no other. 

Free to catch up everyday :)) You respond, and Jaemin’s reply comes instantaneously.

Perfect ;) meet you at the café in two hours

You check the clock before mapping out how you would spend all your time in between now and then, quickly deciding most of it should be directed towards making yourself look presentable, seeing as you’ve done nothing but rot in bed all morning.

Fast forward two hours and you were already sitting at one of the café tables when the bell rang as Jaemin walked through the door. He scans the inside before his eyes find you and he lights up. “Hi, best friend!” He says overenthusiastically as he pulls out the chair across from you. You furrow your brows at his tone, not to mention his usage of ‘best friend,’ when you think you remember Jaemin calling you that only once before when you were both still in high school, and had since never labeled you like that again - not that it was an incorrect label, but one that he typically didn’t make a huge deal about unless…

“Oh, god,” you start sarcastically. “What mess did you get yourself into now?”

“Hey!” Jaemin shoots back in mock hurt, moving a hand over his heart as if you’ve just shot him. You let out a light laugh, rolling your eyes.

“Sorry, Jaem, please continue.”

He immediately ducks his head to face his lap, his tone bearing a fraction of the force it previously had. “Okay so, I got myself into a mess.” You can’t help the genuine laugh that escapes you as you shake your head. Jaemin whips his head up to face you in response, but as you manage to stop your laughter, all you can do is meet his gaze with a softness in your eyes that perfectly balanced the playful smirk on your lips.

“I’ve missed you a lot, you know,” you respond, and Jaemin rolls his lips inward to try and stop the smile as he directs his gaze somewhere off to the side. 

“Yeah, hoping you’re still thinking that after I explain,” he replies hesitantly, and your face falls in an instant.

“You got me into a mess?!” You ask in disbelief, and Jaemin lets out a light sigh.

“Not yet, but that’s kind of the goal,” he answers, scrunching up his facial features as he waits for your reprimanding. Though it never comes, and instead, you speak plainly through a sigh.

“An explanation needs to come out of your mouth in three, two-”

Jaemin curls himself into a ball as best he can while sitting in the café chair, wanting some kind of physical defense before explaining himself in a rush. “I need us to fake date for three months so can you please please please be my fake girlfriend?” When he doesn’t get coffee thrown at him, he takes a moment to unfurl himself and look over at you again, his gaze met with your indifferent expression. 

“Why?” You ask neutrally, and it seems to finally hit Jaemin that you were still the same sane, comforting presence you always had been, even if the two of you hadn’t properly hung out in over a year. He settles more decidedly into his chair, though he still frames his words through a lens of embarrassment, figuring that might be the best way to get you to agree - if you knew he knew he was stupid.

“$600 and to prove something to my friends,” he replies, his words light but his demeanor dead serious.

“And why me?” You toss back, causing Jaemin to roll his eyes as he throws his gaze off to the side again with a scoff. 

“Cause every other girl I know has a crush on me and it’d make this very weird. I’m not trying to actually be in a relationship. That’s the last thing I want.” His words this time are firm enough to match his demeanor, and it has you taking a sip of your coffee to fight back the awkwardness you would’ve otherwise choked on. 

“...Right,” you say in agreement, because out of all the times you could come clean about your huge crush on your best friend, right after he tells you that he doesn’t want a relationship is probably the worst time to do so. 

“So?” Jaemin inquires hopefully, snapping you out of your thoughts. You flick your gaze up to him before immediately darting it back to your coffee on the table, one of your hands messing with the straw absentmindedly. Then you give in, because you suck at saying ‘no’ to your best friend.

“...Fine, but then we’re making a contract,” you say plainly, swirling the ice around in your americano. Jaemin lets out something like a laugh, shaking his head.

“Y/n, you’re taking this so seriously-” He starts, but you whip your head back up to him in an instant, cutting him off with sincerity. 

“They’ll see right through it if we don’t,” you state, and you watch Jaemin’s adam's apple bob up and down in his throat as he swallows awkwardly. 

He shakes out of it before putting his hands up in defeat. “Okay, whatever. Go ahead,” he replies, disinterested. You roll your eyes, grabbing a piece of paper and a pen from your backpack. Then you get to writing, because you were gonna need to set some intense boundaries if you were hoping to make it out of this alive. 

“Alright, I think this should be good for right now,” you say after a few minutes, sliding the piece of paper his way. He takes one glance at it before letting out a laugh and directing his gaze back to you with raised brows.

“‘No kissing?’ I don’t mean to alarm you, but that’s actually the quickest way for them to see right through it,” he quips. You run your fingers through your hair awkwardly as you dodge his gaze, finally nodding your head with a sigh. 

“Okay fine, we can change it. No kissing unless they bring it up or get suspicious. Good?” You ask, finally looking up at him again. He lets an amused smile paint its way across his lips as he stares at you across the table.

“Ha, we’ll keep it for now,” he agrees before turning his attention back to the paper and looking over the next thing you wrote. “‘No weird nicknames?’” He reads, popping his head back up to look at you for clarification. You roll your eyes, slightly embarrassed. 

“Yeah, like sugar, pumpkin, honey, buttercup, sweetie, sweetheart, cutie pie, baby, babe, darling-” You’re cut off by a genuine laugh from Jaemin, helping you realize you’ve missed the sound of it a lot, and not at all helping the awkward situation you’ve gotten yourself into. 

“Okay, you’re just naming every pet name imaginable,” he counters as though you were crazy. 

You roll your lips inward, hesitating on how to respond before opting with a near-whisper. “I don’t like them,” you admit quietly, and Jaemin’s demeanor falls from playful to understanding. He opens his mouth to reply but closes it again before any words get out, instead taking another moment to think. 

“They’re gonna expect me to call you something,” he finally says, speaking as though it were an apology. 

You sigh, knowing he wasn’t lying. Idly messing with your hands, you reply quietly. “...are they gonna expect me to call you something, too?” You ask, and Jaemin contemplates with a sorry nod.

“Yeah, probably. Look, you can call me whatever you’re comfortable with, and if that’s just ‘Jaem,’ that’s fine.”

A more lenient answer than you were expecting, you shoot your head up to look back at him again, though your brows slightly furrow as you address the part he didn’t. “What about you?”

Jaemin lets out a soft sigh. “How about I just limit my usage of pet names, and I won’t call you anything food-related,” he suggests lightly, figuring those nicknames having made up your first seven examples meant you hated them the most. You roll your eyes but a smile crosses your face regardless because he was right, after all…and caring enough to actually realize that.

“I can live with that,” you relent, and a big grin comes back onto Jaemin’s face at the progress. He moves his attention back towards the contract, but immediately is whipping his gaze back to you in hurt. 

“Why can’t I be the one to break it off?” He pouts, and you have half a mind to laugh, but you know he’s serious. 

“If you date me for exactly three months and then break up with me, no matter how believable we make it, they’re either going to know it was set up or they’re going to assume you learned nothing and probably not give you the money,” you explain, and Jaemin’s pout turns into an impressed nod.

“You have a point…” He breathes out, causing you to smirk.

“I know.” 

He bites on his bottom lip, deep in thought before turning back to you again. “We probably shouldn’t date for exactly three months then, either,” he adds, and you flash your eyebrows in recognition.

“That’s also true,” you say before putting together a calendar in your head. “Well, if today’s September 27th, three months is December 27th, so…we could have New Year’s Eve be our last night together?” You suggest awkwardly. Though, when you look back up towards Jaemin, he’s putting your timeline together with a nod.

“Works for me,” he cedes, scribbling your end date somewhere off to the side before continuing to scan down the list. His next question comes with the very last bullet point on the contract. “‘Come home with me for Christmas dinner?’” He reads before looking up at you in confusion. You shake your head with a laugh.

“Well, you didn’t think I’d do this for nothing in return, did you?”

Jaemin flashes his eyebrows in acknowledgement. “Okay…so why Christmas dinner?” He asks, and you drop your gaze back to your coffee. 

“My family keeps riding my ass about not having a boyfriend. If you come back with me and pretend to be my boyfriend there, too, then even when we end things, they’ll at least be off my case for a while,” you admit, embarrassment tainting your voice before you rush to make the request sound more appealing. “And it’s not actual Christmas dinner! It’s that first weekend after finals week. You remember the big dinner we always had with other family friends and all that,” you drag off with an awkward laugh.

“Okay,” Jaemin agrees immediately, and you look back up at him in shock.

“Really? You’re agreeing to that?” You question, but he just shrugs his shoulders. 

“Y/n, you’re getting me $600, the least I can do is one dinner with your family. Besides, they’re practically my second set of parents. I’m pretty sure I had at least a hundred dinners with them during high school,” he jokes, and the tension in your shoulders falls. You guys were really doing this…all of this. The two of you left the café and parted ways soon after agreeing to the terms of the contract, Jaemin feeling $600 richer already with how easy this was going to be.

Jaemin picked you up from class on the first day you would be meeting his friends, five days after the two of you signed your contract to fake-date. He greets you with an easy smile outside of your classroom door. “Hey, you ready?” He asks, and you send a nervous smile back up at him. 

“Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess,” you reply with a laugh. He flashes his eyebrows in acknowledgement, feeling much the same way seeing as this was probably the least conventional thing he’s ever done. 

He leads you outside and towards the guys’ regular lunch spot at one of the tables set up in the campus commons. Jaemin had told his friends beforehand that he had gone and gotten himself a girlfriend and thus, to start the three month timer, and they were the ones who begged him to bring you to one of the lunches so they could meet you, and now here you were - walking casually towards the lunch table with Jaemin…too casually, Chenle noticed, because you weren’t even holding hands. He keeps quiet, but lets an easy smirk come across his face as you and Jaemin sit down next to each other. 

“Alright, guys,” Jaemin starts as the rest of the friend group pins their full attention on you. “This is y/n. My girlfriend,” he says with a smile. The label sends ice through your veins. You could not believe Na Jaemin was introducing you as his girlfriend…it didn’t matter that the label was fake, the words sounded real coming out of his mouth. You turn your head to look at him, as if to get some kind of confirmation that it really was Jaemin next to you, calling you his girlfriend. By the time your gaze reaches him, he’s already looking over at you with a cheesy grin, nudging your side playfully with his arm and getting you to relax a little. 

The guys go around introducing themselves, but as they make their full way around the table, Jeno immediately speaks up.

“So, how did the two of you get together?” He asks curiously. A valid question, which is why the guys all lean forward in interest, because of course they would be dying to know how their fuckboy best friend got an actual girlfriend rather than a hookup. It was a horrible question though, because it was one you forgot would ever come up, and you had no game plan to go about answering this. Though, it seemed all you had to worry about was keeping your eyes from going wide, because Jaemin did have a game plan for this, and he answered smoothly.

“I just asked her out,” he says with a shrug. “It’s always been so easy with y/n, I take it for granted most of the time. Every time I’m with her, I’m reminded that it takes no effort to breathe, that I’m standing on solid ground. We met up for coffee the other day and she said she missed me and I-” He falters for a moment, and you finally bring your gaze up from your lap to face Jaemin, just to see him shake his head as if he were breaking himself out of a nostalgia trip. “I wanted to hear that again and again,” he finally says seriously, and you can’t stop the smile from reaching your face. “So, though now it just sounds embarrassing saying it out loud, I straight up asked her to be my girlfriend right after that,” he adds through a laugh. “I had been waiting for the butterflies that everyone always talks about, but the fact that I’ve never really felt that with her just made me more sure I wanna be with her - there’s no discomfort or anxiety,” he says, and with your head ducked back in to face your lap, you miss it when he turns to look at you softly. “She’s just always felt like home.” 

Jaemin’s answer seems to have done its job in convincing everyone, and it definitely did its job in reminding you that you were in deep trouble. Though, as the rest of the guys take in Jaemin’s words with an impressed nod, Mark tries to fill in his holes. “Wait, how long have you known each other?” He asks, which was another valid question seeing as Jaemin talked about you with history even though you had never met his friend group before.

“We’ve been friends since high school,” Jaemin says coolly, though this time, you’re the one to nudge him with a laugh.

“Best friends,” you add teasingly, and Jaemin chuckles as he looks over at your figure before nodding his head.

“Yeah, best friends,” he agrees fondly. “But, I’ve liked her for a while now,” he says, turning back towards the group as his face falls and he shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “I just- obviously have the image that I do and I never wanted to get her tied up in it. She deserves more than being labeled as some fuckboy’s latest infatuation,” he says, and as you furrow your brows at him, he just shakes his head, moving on with a light smile. “Though, obviously, I saw her last week and couldn’t help it anymore.”

Sorry smiles cross most of the guys’ faces - they were no help when it came to keeping labels away from Jaemin, and he was sure putting on a convincing show, making it almost seem like it was their fault the two of you hadn’t already gotten together. 

Haechan swings his gaze over to you with raised eyebrows, shifting gears to try and not to let the dampened mood actually settle in. “And you? How long have you liked him?” He asks, and you have to stop the laugh from leaving your system. Instead, you just shake your head fondly.

“Forever,” you answer truthfully, turning to face Jaemin before immediately pulling your gaze back down to your lap in embarrassment. “Any girl will tell you, it’s impossible not to fall for Na Jaemin.” At this, all the guys roll their eyes, but Jaemin just turns to study you softly, biting on his bottom lip in contemplation as he tries to sort out whether any part of your statement was true or if you were just really good at acting.

However, with the rumbling of Jisung’s stomach, he quickly discards the topic of you and Jaemin, deciding that after all the intro questions were out of the way, food was much more interesting. The guys laugh along as Jisung rips through his paper bag lunch, but it does its job in getting them to focus on their own food in front of them, too. 

Casual conversation occurred over lunch, and you were pleasantly surprised to find it wasn’t awkward at all. Not that you were expecting the guys to be awkward with each other, but you typically weren’t great at meeting new people; and now you were meeting six of them at once, somehow fitting right in, your occasional remarks causing the whole table to laugh - something you’d have to pat yourself on the back for later. The only disturbance comes from Chenle, who had begun leaning way back from the table, carefully balancing his weight on the bench as he seems to examine the ground by your feet. 

The entire friend group eventually catches on to his antics, turning their attention towards him with raised eyebrows. “What are you doing?” Renjun finally asks, the question coming out as though he thought Chenle were crazy…which probably wasn’t too far from his actual stance on the matter.

Chenle shakes his head, pulling himself back into a normal sitting position as he locks his gaze onto you and Jaemin. “Don’t most couples have a hand placed on the other’s thigh or something while sitting? Why are you guys like- a foot away from each other?” He asks plainly. Your face drops and your eyes widen.

“We are not a foot away from each other,” you remark firmly, but then Jisung peaks beneath the table as well, pulling back up with a shrug.

“Uh, you kinda are,” he says, causing Jaemin to roll his eyes.

“Didn’t think you guys were big pda enthusiasts,” he says, trying to laugh it off, but Chenle is relentless.

“Have you kissed yet?” He asks immediately, and you almost choke.

“What?!” You return in shock, but Chenle looks between the two of you with uninterested brows.

“You’ve liked each other for forever and you’re this awkward?” He shoots back in a taunt. You sigh, collecting yourself because you knew what you were about to have to do. 

“You’re right, Jaem,” you say, pulling his attention your way as you place a hand on his cheek and smile in disbelief. “Your friends are annoying,” you continue, and then you lean in and kiss your best friend and long time crush. 

Admittedly, you’ve imagined this moment more times than you could count, but none of those fantasies could have prepared you for what it actually felt like to kiss Na Jaemin. His lips were perfect, he was perfect, and you knew that already but now you felt it. You remind yourself of where you’re at, why you’re kissing him in the first place, and bring yourself to pull back after the one soft kiss, trying your best to make it seem as though that alone didn’t cause you to lose your breath.

As the two of you pull away from each other, Jaemin’s gaze locks on you, running over every inch of your face with an unreadable look in his eyes to contrast the softest of smiles on his lips. “Yeah, angel, they are,” he says through an exhale, and as your face goes completely pink, his smile eases into a familiar smirk. “But if you kiss me every time they piss you off, I might have to have them stick around.” 

You roll your eyes, nudging him in the side again as you focus on the playful banter and not on the fact that Jaemin just rewired your brain chemistry with one ‘angel.’ “Whatever, we both know I kiss you all the time anyways,” you tease, but as you try to shift away again, Jaemin catches your hand in his and looks at you as if you were crazy.

“No, I kiss you all the time,” he rushes to correct, and though you whip your head back to face him in offense, your eyes instantly soften upon contact, a tight smile playing at both of your features instead.

Your only thought was to kiss him again, and you’re thankful when Chenle cuts off any chance of that happening. “What is going on?” He asks in disgust, causing Renjun to laugh and shake his head.

“Hey, you were the one jumping their asses for their lack of public romance. This is your fault.” 

With the conclusion of lunch, Jaemin kept you company on the walk back to your dorm. As soon as you’re out of sight from the rest of the guys, you let out a heavy sigh and accompanying drop of your shoulders. “Well, there goes rule number one…” You say in defeat. If you couldn’t even follow the first rule during your first outing as a ‘couple,’ the rest of these three months were not going to bode well for you. 

Instead of matching your demeanor, Jaemin takes offense. “What, no! We changed rule number one to no kissing unless they brought it up or were suspicious, and they both, brought it up and were suspicious,” he claims firmly, but the playful tone underlying his words makes it so that all you can do is let out a small, wry laugh.

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” you say with a shake of your head, though the smile has made its reappearance on your face. Next to you, Jaemin stops walking, pausing for a moment as he stares at the pavement beneath your feet. As soon as you notice his absence at your side, you turn back around to face him and his small grimace.

“Thank you, by the way,” he says gently, and any remaining tension you were carrying falls away; because any time Jaemin fell softer, you were reminded of how you’d do anything for your best friend. “I don’t know if I really thanked you for letting me talk you into this. I know it’s stupid, but it’s nice to have them attacking me for whether or not I’ve kissed you rather than attacking me for my body count,” he finishes, and it feels as though all your joints had immediately locked up again. 

Jaemin’s title as the campus fuckboy was not lost on you, but talking about anything close to relationships was never a strong suit for you guys; and with him quickly finding his place within a new friend group here at college, it meant you were even less in the know of his whereabouts on any given day. The last thing you were expecting was for Jaemin to keep you updated on who he just fucked, but the entire realm of conversation was always so unreachable for you two. You knew nothing of what the campus fuckboy was truly getting up to; there was sometimes talk in your class when a girl would come in beaming as she told her friends she managed to spend a night with Jaemin, but instances like that were all you got informed by, and you never dared pry deeper into those overheard conversations. 

Sometimes your jealousy would damn near kill you - all these girls boasting about the fact that they had spent a night with Jaemin…you wanted to turn around half the time and tell them to forget about one night because you’ve spent countless days with him; that your entire high school career was covered in his handprints and bright smile which you were sure was laced with drugs - a smile you knew he wasn’t throwing around in the bedroom. 

You never did snap, though, because it was easier to keep your ‘best friend’ label with Jaemin under the radar at college, unless you wished for tens upon hundreds of girls to line up in front of you and ask your advice on how to win his heart. Jokes on them, you were still figuring that out, yourself.

“What is your body count?” You ask with a hesitant swallow, your curiosity getting the better of you now that he’s finally brought it up. 

Jaemin shoots his head up to face you but instantly dodges your eye contact again. For the first time since you’ve met him, he looks genuinely embarrassed. “Another time, y/n,” he says in soft dismissal.

You swallow harshly, in disbelief at what you were about to tell him, but as much as it would sting, it would keep your own feelings at a very needed bay. “If you still want to have sex, you can. I don’t mean to force you into celibacy. Just make sure it’s at the girl’s house so Haechan doesn’t find out,” you say lowly, and Jaemin immediately makes wide eye contact with you.

“Really?” He asks in something like shock. You act as though it’s no big thing, and you’re sure it probably shouldn’t be, anyways.

“Yeah,” you respond with a shrug.

Jaemin takes in your words with a contemplative head nod, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth before his eyes light up in alert, finding another caveat to address. “What do we do if the girl starts talking about the fact that she hooked up with me?” He asks seriously, but you’ve finally found humor in the situation, shaking your head as though there were hardly a need for the question. 

“Jaem, just about every girl wants to sleep with you, or at least make it seem like she did…a random girl claiming to have hooked up with you one day is just going to sound like she’s desperate for attention. No one’s gonna take it seriously,” you say with a playful roll of your eyes. Absolutely nothing you said was wrong, and with a deep breath, Jaemin seems to accept that fact.

As he exhales, he resumes his continuation on the walk back to your dorm, a light nod of his head accompanying his next words. “Okay. Thank you-” His casual start is broken as he turns his head back over to you at his side in question. “Are you gonna be okay? Are you gonna like- hook up- uh…with other guys?” He asks curiously. All you can do is laugh at him.

“Casual hookups aren’t my thing and no way am I getting an actual boyfriend while we’re doing this, but of course I’ll be okay. I’m pretty sure your sex drive is at least ten times greater than mine. I can handle three months,” you reply lightly, and seemingly all of Jaemin’s worries about this new implementation fade away - it seemed perfectly doable without getting caught. 

As you get to your dorm entrance, you and Jaemin turn to fully face each other. “Thanks again for today. I think we got them somewhat convinced,” he says through a small laugh, and you flash your eyebrows in acknowledgement. 

“No reason to thank me for that - you did most of the talking,” you rebuttal playfully. 

Jaemin’s laugh turns into a knowing smirk. “You were the one who kissed me,” he teases, and you shake your head, but a wide grin spreads across your lips, regardless.

“It's not my fault that they both, brought it up and were suspicious,” you remind him, putting your hands up in defense. Jaemin takes a moment to laugh again before settling into a more fond look that was reminiscent of your high school days.

“We’re gonna have to start hanging out more again since they think we’re dating, but even before all that, I think it’d make me happy if we started hanging out more again just cause I’ve missed you…and I know it’s my fault we haven’t talked as often! I got a friend group of guys and an- agenda…with girls, and as such, my entire college career up to now has unfolded in that way. But I miss you because you’ve always been my friend, not because of some agenda or fake-dating scheme.”

“Mmmmmm, best friend,” you correct with a sure smirk, making Jaemin drop his head with a laugh of defeat.

“Yeah, best friend,” he cedes, and your smirk turns into a soft smile. 

“I never do anything, so just text me when you wanna hang. I’ll be there.” 

He looks back up at you with a small grin and a nod. “Same goes for you,” he replies. Then, all that was left was saying ‘goodbye’ in a much more awkward way than usual, before you went back up to your room to decompress from whatever the hell just happened. 

It was a week after that first lunch when you were alone and bored in your dorm. None of the guys mentioned anything about having plans for the weekend while at lunch, which you had begun to join in on every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. So, although you just saw him, you figured Jaemin wouldn’t have anything better to do than hang out with you some more today. You shoot your gaze over to the clock, agreeing there was more than enough time left in the day to make a hang out worth it, and then grabbing your phone to text Jaemin.

Hey, I’m bored. Wanna do something? You send, and Jaemin’s reply is instantaneous.

With a girl rn

For a text that’s letting you know he’s following your directions, it hurts more than you thought it would to read. You know it’s for the best that this be your reality. Jaemin had been your best friend for so long now, the last thing you wanted was to ruin that with your feelings; and while fake-dating wasn’t helping, this reality-check definitely did. He’s not just your best friend anymore, he’s the campus’ heartthrob…the campus’ fuckboy. It was the entire reason behind the bet his friends made in the first place - a circumstance like this was only expected. So, you’d have to forget about the hollow feeling in your stomach right now and instead support your best friend in a best friend way, cause no matter how many times in the next three months he’s destined to call you ‘angel’ or look over at you softly every time you talk in the group, ‘best friends’ is all you are to each other. Oh, look at you go! I figure I’m your alibi, so I guess I’ll stay in for the rest of the night so there’s no possibility of one of your friends seeing me

His reply this time took about thirty minutes to get to you, and even his last text didn’t prepare you for the brick wall that faced you with this one. Thanks 

Jaemin isn’t selfish, Jaemin is busy. It’s the mantra you kept repeating to yourself, because you know he’s not selfish; and while you were expecting a reply more aligned with an apology for forcing your Friday night to be spent indoors and alone, taking the time to text that out probably was not something Jaemin could manage while another girl was surely sucking him off. 

The next Thursday, it’s Jaemin’s idea to hang out after classes. The two of you decided to chill at your place so that you didn’t have to constantly pretend around Haechan, should he be in their apartment. As you swing the door open to Jaemin’s presence, he looks at you with a big grin on his face. “Hey, angel,” he says, patting the top of your head as he walks into your dorm. You track his figure deeper into the living area, looking at him quizzically because the whole purpose of him being here was that he didn’t have to call you ‘angel.’ 

You just shake your head with a smile as he plops down on your couch. “Hey, Jaem.” 

He looks up at you with innocent eyes. “What did you want to do tonight?” He asks, and you shrug your shoulders with a laugh.

“You’re the one who wanted to come over; my plan was to do homework.” Your answer has Jaemin’s face falling, and you watch as he gets up from the couch and immediately walks out the door, leaving you completely dumbfounded. You didn’t think homework was that repulsive to him. Though, moments later, there’s another knock on your door, and you answer it to be met with Jaemin again, this time his own backpack slung across his shoulders. “Wha-?” You question with a laugh of disbelief.

Jaemin sends a smirk your way before once again walking past you and towards the couch, immediately unzipping his backpack and placing its contents on the coffee table. “Homework,” he says casually, looking up at you with raised brows and a smirk. “Best friend, fake girlfriend, study buddy…you get all the fun labels,” he teases, causing you to shake your head before relenting and joining him at the coffee table. 

It was an incredibly normal night. After the two of you finished up the last of your assignments - though getting distracted every five or so minutes with stupid jokes, complaints of coursework, or a sudden remembering of a story that needed telling did not help push things along, the two of you watched a movie. You ended up making hot cocoa, because the privilege of thermostats meant that it wasn’t a crazy option, regardless of the outside temperature, and then sat on the recliner, Jaemin taking up considerably more space on the couch in response. 

The two of you had always been good movie watchers with each other. You both liked to enjoy movies in the same way - the lights off, no talking, no distractions from phones…even if it was a movie you had seen a hundred times. The two of you took movie nights seriously, mainly because with each other, you could. At least, you had yet to find anyone else who would sit and watch Coraline with you and not take a break to say something about how they find it creepy or flatout don’t like the movie when it’s not even halfway over. Though, Jaemin always happily watched, saving his only comments (typically about how “they just don’t make movies like that anymore”) for the credits. 

Just like that, it was like a night from high school, and it ended much the same way - a side hug with Jaemin and his promises of getting home safe, though it was you rather than your mother that he was making that promise to now. 

Walking back into his apartment, Jaemin immediately catches the attention of Haechan, currently making late night ramen in the kitchen. “Did you just get back from y/n’s?” He asks, pulling his attention away from the stove to turn his head towards Jaemin.

“Yeah,” Jaemin answers casually as he makes his trek through the front space and towards his room, only getting distracted when Haechan speaks up again with a playful lilt and a matching smirk on his face.

“Good night?” He asks, causing Jaemin to furrow his brows before realizing what Haechan was actually getting at. 

“What-? Oh, shut up,” he dismisses. Turning back around to face Haechan revealed him to be completely distracted from his ramen - his back now leaning against the countertop as his casual crossed arms added to the tease in his raised eyebrow. Jaemin rolls his eyes at the antics, especially considering Haechan was the main reason this whole deal was made in the first place - because he was tired of Jaemin having sex. “We didn’t have sex. We did normal couple things,” he states confidently before turning around again to actually make his way inside his room and behind his closed bedroom door. 

This meant Jaemin missed the way Haechan’s playful brows furrowed in confusion, his face falling flatter as he spoke through a soft exhale. “What?” Any more time he could have had to actually question it was overridden with the need to tend to his now boiling over ramen; so Jaemin got off easy the rest of the night. 

Haechan was not as forgiving the next time he saw the guys at Monday lunch, though. With you still nowhere to be seen and Jaemin in his line of sight ordering food, he addresses everything in a more serious tone than any of the guys were expecting. 

“Does anyone else find it odd that they haven’t had sex yet?”

Eyes go wide at the rest of the table. “They haven’t?!” Jeno practically shouts before immediately getting embarrassed and making himself as small as possible. Haechan just shakes his head.

“They haven’t even spent the night at each other’s places yet. He always comes back home after hanging out with her and it’s always just him.”

“Maybe they’re taking it slow,” Mark replies with a shrug, but all eyes lock on him with ample skepticism. 

“Does ‘slow’ seem like a Jaemin thing?” Haechan rebuttals. “I mean, come on. We’re talking about the guy who’s notorious for getting his dick wet at any available opportunity.”

“So, we think they don't really like each other? They’re faking it?” Renjun asks with pursed contemplative lips. 

Haechan’s the one to shrug this time in mystery. “$600 is a hefty amount. He’d do anything he can for that, including but not limited to getting a fake girlfriend and lying to us,” he states more firmly, but that’s as Jaemin joins the table; his brows furrowed and mouth hanging slightly open as he looked around at the guys in something like disgust.

“What in the world did I just walk in on? Y/n is not my fake girlfriend. The deal money is nice but I’m at least honorable about these things,” he argues, and immediately all the guys whip their gazes towards him, varying expressions on their faces as Jisung speaks up in genuine question.

“Why haven’t you slept with her yet?” The seriousness of the question and the sheer interest in the rest of the guys’ faces gets Jaemin to roll his eyes.

“You guys are atrocious, you know that?” He says in place of an answer. 

Chenle raises his brows. “The question remains,” he taunts with a smirk.

Jaemin looks him dead in the eyes as he responds. “She means more to me than that.”

“Means more to you than that?” Jeno reflects back with a laugh. “Jaemin, are you forgetting your love language?” This is the first thing you can pick up as you finally get to the table after questions from your classmates held you for more minutes than should be allowed. Regardless, you immediately jump right into conversation.

“Love language?” You echo with a smile. “There’s something I’m knowledgeable about. How’s my words of affirmation boy doing?” You continue, all your attention directed towards Jaemin as you shed your backpack from your body.

He looks up at you still standing by his side, eyes soft and speaking through a small smile. “Better now that you’re here,” he answers, and you don’t stop the bashful smile from coming across your face as you finally get situated sitting down next to him. The gentle moment is broken, though, with Jeno asking a question in total shock.

“Words of affirmation??” He begs for clarification, and the rest of the guys lean in at the table some more in apparent interest. You look at them all as though there was some joke you weren’t getting. 

“Yes? What did you think it was?” You question back, and they respond in almost perfect unison.

“Physical touch.”

You can’t stop the small laugh from leaving your system as you look back at all of them seriously. “Jaemin’s good at showing love through physical touch, no doubt, but words of affirmation is by far his favorite way to receive love, it’s not even a question. And sure, part of that is how he smiles like an idiot whenever I tell him he’s the most handsome guy on the planet - which is stupid because ‘handsome’ honestly doesn’t even begin to describe it…” You trail off awkwardly before shooting your head back up to face everyone. 

“But have you ever seen him receive a compliment that has nothing to do with his body or looks? The way his eyes light up like something just clicked for him? I mean, he’s so many more things before he’s physically attractive, and all he was waiting for was someone to recognize that. Every time we meet up after class and I say something like ‘I’ve been longing to be in your presence all day,’ or ‘thanks for bringing me more happiness than I’ve ever known,’ he’s practically on the verge of tears every time. It’s why when I told him I missed him that one day, all he could think to do was ask me to be his girlfriend. He’s been waiting to be missed on a level that had nothing to do with his body. He’s been waiting to be affirmed in a way that isn’t physical.”

That seemed to get everyone else at the table to shut up, swallowing awkwardly as they instead turned their attention to their food. You let out a small sigh of relief as you dig into your own sandwich, but Jaemin doesn’t think he can even take one bite anymore; a weird feeling in his stomach and his mind going a million miles an hour. When he does pick up his sandwich, it’s not because he’s finally convinced he can keep it down, but because not eating now would be incredibly suspicious to everyone…including you. 

Jaemin walked you back to your dorm after lunch, something that became typical since it wasn’t always possible to pick you up from class for lunch. You were walking in comfortable silence; in fact, an element of awkwardness was only introduced once Jaemin spoke up with a strange sort of cough and hesitant words. “I didn’t know I was a words of affirmation guy,” he finally says after a couple of minutes. 

With the two of you out of sightline and earshot of the others, you let your actions and reactions express more naturally. So, you paused completely, making him eventually stop and look over his shoulder at you in question. “Oh…really?!” You say in light shock before shaking your head and resuming your pace so you could catch back up to him and continue casually. “I mean, maybe you’re not then, but just from what I know-”

You’re cut off with a small laugh from Jaemin as he shakes his head softly, matching his contemplative tone. “No, I think you’re right. Everything you said I- I think you’re right.” He says it as though he were almost embarrassed by the fact, and you decide that’s the last thing you’re gonna allow him to feel in this situation.

“Oh, well, would you like me to affirm you more often then?” You ask seriously. “We aren’t exactly meeting up after class everyday and I’m not exactly telling you I’ve been waiting for that very moment, but I can.”

Jaemin is quick to dismiss the idea. “No, it’s okay. No use doing that when this whole thing is fake. I mean, rule number three or something is that everything is immediately dropped when we’re in private,” he tries to play off with a laugh, and as you finally reach the entrance to your dorm, you turn around to face him solemnly. 

“Jaem, that’s not me putting on an act. You do know I love spending time with you, right? And-” You shake your head, frustrated with yourself that this is something you obviously didn’t do a good job of communicating earlier. “Take us out of this whole situation thing,” you command, finding your footing in what you’re wanting to say. “Just- as friends. I love spending time with you. I want you in my life forever, yeah?” You finish softly, and when you look back up at Jaemin, he’s quick to break eye contact. 

“Yeah.”

The next few weeks saw to it that you and Jaemin were hanging out more than ever. What you saw as insane luck meant that every time you texted asking if he could hang out, he was never ‘with a girl’ at the time; and Jaemin was texting you and being the one to make plans at a far greater rate than you were, anyways. Instantly, your relationship reflected that during your time in high school - the only difference was that sometimes in the midst of trying to pretend you didn’t have the hugest crush on your best friend, you were also having to pretend you did have the hugest crush on your best friend. 

Hang outs were still mainly at your place so that the two of you never had to worry about Haechan, though sometimes you’d purposely have a night in at Jaemin’s to keep Haechan convinced. This was not one of those times. Instead, you opened your door to Jaemin as you have for the past three Friday’s now, which the two of you decided would be ‘date night’ in everyone else’s eyes while really, you’d just keep a low profile and do whatever you wanted. Due to schedules, you always had an hour for homework before you’d be met with Jaemin’s presence, and he was right on time today. “Hey, Jaem!” You greet with a smile as you swing the door open and step back to allow him inside.

“Hey angel,” he replies casually, because calling you ‘angel’ was now a very typical occurrence, regardless of who was around to hear it. He flashes a smile in your direction, but instead of beelining for the couch like normal, he stops to stand kind of awkwardly in front of you before continuing hesitantly. “Mark is having a Halloween party if that’s something you’re interested in…we could go together. I know parties aren’t really your thing.” He speaks as though it were an apology, and all you can do is chuckle at his antics.

“Don’t worry about that. I am your fake girlfriend, aren’t I?” You tease in reply, and Jaemin raises his eyebrows as though he didn’t know where you were going with this.

“...Yes,” he draws out slowly, and you just shake your head at him fondly.

“So, if you’re going, then I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” you answer sincerely, and though you’d never be able to convince yourself of it, you made Jaemin blush - just the tiniest bit. 

He lets out something like a sigh of relief before nodding his head in acknowledgement. “Okay, I’ll tell Mark we’re going, then,” he says happily, and then suddenly it’s right back to routine as he heads for the couch to chill before the two of you could decide what all you actually wanted to do that day. 

The next time you saw Jaemin was two days later when he asked if you wanted to accompany him to the store. It was all light and casual conversation as you strolled through the aisles, most of the time pointing at random items and saying ‘you’ to try and see who could get the other to laugh more. The bit promptly ended when you pointed at a Scrub Daddy to relate Jaemin to, but he instead teased you endlessly for using an item with “daddy” in the name. The only thing to veer his topic of conversation away from that was when you passed the aisle that had been repurposed into Halloween decorations and costumes, making him stop in his tracks.

“Have you decided on a costume for the party yet?” He asks curiously, and you turn back around to face him and redirect your path to peruse the Halloween aisle, touching random bits of costumes before dropping them back to the rack with a shake of your head. 

“Well, I was gonna go as an angel since that’s kind of what you call me now, but if we do it as a couple’s costume, then you’d end up as the devil or a demon or whatever, and I don’t love the idea of that. So…would you wanna go as Team Rocket instead?” You ask in return. Jaemin swallows awkwardly as he takes in everything you just said, but he can’t take too long to explore the slightly comforting feeling brought on by you saying the idea of him as a devil wasn’t your favorite…because that wouldn’t be very ‘I don’t care what anyone else thinks’ of him. Instead, he resorts back to a familiar tease, an eyebrow raised as a playful smirk crossed his lips.

“Who said I wanted to do a couple’s costume?” He shoots back and your face immediately goes red as you scramble for words.

“Oh! You don’t- I was just- it’s not-” You’re cut off with a warm laugh from Jaemin.

“Breathe, angel, I was just messing with you,” he reassures with a shake of his head.

“Maybe you would make a good demon,” you deadpan in return, and Jaemin’s eyes light with fire as his jaw drops.

“Hey!”

“Just messing with you, Jaem,” you banter back, and Jaemin bites on the inside of his cheek to stop a wide grin from making an appearance at your behavior. 

“I’m fine going as Team Rocket, as long as I get to be James,” he says with a mock seriousness, effectively getting you to smile as you roll your eyes.

“Well, I wasn’t going to suggest you be Jessie,” you assure in the same manner, and Jaemin nods his head, seemingly content with the plan before another question comes to mind. 

“Are we dying our hair?” He asks, and this time he’s actually serious. You think about it for a second before giving into the idea with a contemplative nod.

“We can get the spray that lasts up until you wash it,” you suggest, and with a nod from Jaemin, your Halloween costumes were set - all you had to do was make them. 

Fast forward a week and the only thing left to do was iron on the ‘R’ decal on Jaemin’s top, which was exactly what you were doing in his apartment as he took the time to spray blue in his hair. You look up from the heat press as Jaemin walks out of the bathroom. “Huh,” you let out involuntarily, and if you were any less close with Jaemin, you would’ve been embarrassed beyond words. However, he just looks at you with furrowed brows and a curious grin.

“What?” He asks, and you shrug your shoulders as though it were nothing big.

“You look good with blue hair,” you answer, trying your best to be casual about it.

Jaemin’s curious grin had turned into a shiteating one. “Oh, yeah?” He digs, trying to get under your skin; though, you thwart the attempt immediately, instead responding with nonchalance - the exact opposite of what he was reaching for. 

“Well, no more than normal,” you reply, and Jaemin’s brows raise impossibly.

“Now, what does that mean?” He asks playfully, but you just shake your head.

“You’re the fuckboy, Jaemin. You know what I’m getting at.” With that, your attention was back on the iron as it beeped and let you know his shirt was ready. You pull it out from under the heat and turn it around so Jaemin could see the final product, and with a nod of approval, he grabs it from your hands and heads back to the bathroom.

“Looks great, angel,” he finally says, studying his appearance in the mirror before walking back out to the living area. You just drop your head as you feel your face heat up at the compliment. 

“I’ll uh- go get ready,” you say quietly, and then you grab your own costume and hair spray before trading places with him in the bathroom. 

Jaemin doesn’t hide his small smile as he watches you walk back out to the living area in your matching costume with him, and you try your best to pin your focus anywhere other than his soft gaze. “Um- drinking at parties isn’t really my thing so- I can drive us back here afterwards. You can drink however much you want,” you get out awkwardly before moving to sit down next to him on the couch.

Jaemin chuckles lightly in response to your behavior. “Are you sure?” 

You nod your head profusely. “Of course. You enjoy parties a lot. I don’t want you to change an aspect of it just because I’m there, too. So, however much you normally drink…go for it.” 

Jaemin studies your figure with ample doubt covering his features. “I don’t know. Me drinking while knowing I have a ride home typically means I turn into too much to handle,” he jokes, but any form of negative self-talk from him always grounds you, and you’re quick to refute it.

“Not for me,” you say, turning your head to make eye contact with him. “Never for me.” Your soft reassurance has Jaemin simply staring at you, and you quickly turn your head back to face your lap as you overthink every little embarrassing thing you’ve already done tonight. On the other hand, Jaemin didn’t even think twice before leaning over to place a kiss on your cheek. 

Your cheeks puff out with a smile in immediate response to the contact, but as you lift your gaze back up to face Jaemin, your attention is caught by Haechan, who had just walked out of his room in costume - a vampire costume that was already iconic and he hadn’t even done anything yet.

Your soft smile turns into a full-on grin as you address him. “Woah, Hyuck. You look great!” You say with a laugh, and Jaemin whips his head around to face his roommate just to fall into his own bout of laughter.

“Oh, fuck off,” Haechan replies with a playful roll of his eyes as he walks towards the door. “Are you two gonna head out soon?” He asks more seriously, and Jaemin gives a light nod.

“Yeah, we won’t be too far behind you. Y/n just isn’t a huge fan of parties, so we opted for fashionably late rather than fashionably early.” 

Haechan flashes his eyebrows up in acknowledgement before turning back from the front door to face the two of you again. “Alright. Don’t violate the couch too much in the meantime. It’s my favorite couch,” he banters, and this time it’s you and Jaemin to roll your eyes.

“You fuck off,” you say through a grin, and Haechan drops his head with a loud laugh before bringing his gaze back to the two of you with a soft smile.

“I’ll see you guys soon,” he says happily, and with that, he’s out the door.  

It was about thirty minutes later when you and Jaemin entered the party house hand-in-hand. As soon as you got in, you realized your friend group was a lot more popular than you ever thought, because seemingly everyone you went to school with was here. For parties already feeling overwhelming, parties where you could hardly move without bumping into someone were even more so. Though, in the midst of the blaring music, a hundred different conversations, and all the dancing, your attention is turned to your interlocked hand with Jaemin as he gently rubs his thumb across the back of your hand.

You shoot your gaze up at him just to see he’s already staring back down at you softly. Unlike you, he looked completely at home in the party scene, though you figure one can’t truly get labeled a fuckboy without being so. That’s also why you assume he was able to tell you were already uncomfortable from the second you stepped inside. 

Hardly a few feet from the entrance, he leans down to you at his side, speaking slowly in your ear so you could make it out from the rest of the noise. “We’ll stay only as long as you want, okay? If you wanna turn back around right now, we can.”

You shake your head minimally, turning to face him and realizing that action placed your lips dangerously close together. You roll them inwards in hesitation before shifting your gaze to his own. “I’m not going to make you leave super early. You like parties.”

A smirk plays on Jaemin’s lips as he raises an eyebrow at you. “I like you more,” he replies playfully. 

You dart your gaze off to the side, ripping your hand away from his in the process. “I’m fine. Let’s just go find our friends.” You take a step out from the entryway but quickly notice Jaemin isn’t following. You whip your head around to face him just to see his hand outstretched for you again.

“If we’re going to go find our friends, your hand better be in mine,” he quips, causing you to roll your eyes before obliging and lacing your fingers back together. He gives your hand a light squeeze as he flashes you a wide smile and drags you to where he already saw Haechan, Jeno, and Renjun. 

“Hey, you guys look great!” Jeno says with a bright smile as the two of you join their circle. Jaemin finally slides his hand out of yours to instead place it on the small of your back. Despite yourself, a small smile comes onto your face, not at Jeno’s words, but at Jaemin’s touch, and you relax a bit more against his hand.

Jaemin is the one to actually respond as the other two guys turn their attention to the both of you as well. “Thanks! My incredible, beautiful girlfriend made the costumes,” he says, tossing his gaze over to you at his side. You roll your eyes at him, but your smile grows. 

“Making it is not the same as making it look good. You did that all on your own,” you shoot back earnestly. The three guys in front of you throw on a look of disgust, as if they weren’t the ones telling Jaemin he needed a girlfriend. Jaemin just looks over at you with a soft gleam in his eyes, his mouth straining as he tries to conceal a smile. He opts to just kiss you on the cheek instead, then reaching for your far shoulder and pulling you his way. He snakes his arms around you to keep you there in a hug from behind, his thumb gently rubbing up and down your waist. The five of you stood in a circle just talking for at least an hour. Occasionally, one of them would leave to grab drinks for the group, though you were sure to just stick to water the entire night as everyone around you became a comfortable state of tipsy. 

Eventually, Jaemin unwound his arms from your figure, causing you to turn your head and look up at him in question. He lets an easy smile paint his lips. “I’m just running to the bathroom real quick. I’ll come find you again in a few.”

You nod your head, and your eyes follow Jaemin for as long as they could before he became completely indistinguishable from the rest of the crowd. You turn your attention back to Renjun, Jeno, and Haechan. “I’m gonna go find Mark,” you start with an awkward laugh. “I don’t know if he even knows Jaemin and I are here.” The three of them nod at you, Renjun racking his foggy brain for where he thinks he last saw him. You nod, thanking them for their company so far, and then heading off towards the kitchen under the guidance of Renjun’s memory. 

When Jaemin steps out of the bathroom, he almost immediately runs into the body of another guy. Opening his mouth to apologize, the guest beats him to words.

“Jaemin, nice costume,” he says, and Jaemin loses his tension at the compliment.

“Oh, thank you-” He starts, but is quickly cut off again by the stranger.

“You got another one of your hoes to match with tomorrow?” He slurs with a smile, throwing an arm around Jaemin’s shoulder.

Jaemin’s eyes widen as he snakes out under the touch, guiding their hand back down to their side. “Uh, no, y/n’s my girlfriend. It’s just her and we’re just out for tonight,” he replies, turning his gaze away from the man to instead scan the crowd and try to lay eyes back on you.

“Ha! Good one,” the guy laughs out, and Jaemin snaps his gaze back to him in confusion.

“Good one?” He echoes back in question, but with a hard slap on his back that Jaemin thinks was meant to be playful, his conversation partner quickly leaves. Jaemin stands there for a moment puzzled, but he tries to shake out of the uncomfortable feeling as he directs his gaze back to the big crowd, looking for where you may have wandered off to once he sees you’re no longer with the previous group.

He quickly realizes he wouldn’t be able to find you by standing in one place, so he picks up his feet and starts weaving through the crowd again. When he feels a hand on his back, he assumes it’s you, and he whips around towards the figure. His face quickly drops when he realizes it isn’t you, and suddenly he’s extremely conscious of how everyone’s been touching him tonight. 

“Such a shame your costume shows so little skin,” the girl says with a small pout and a fake innocence in her eyes. Jaemin tries to take a step back, just to bump into more people dancing and forcing him back into close proximity. He swallows hard, accepting the fact that he was having to engage in this conversation now.

“My girlfriend picked it out,” he says firmly, and the girl in front of him just tilts her head to the side, now rubbing a hand up and down his arm.

“Well, she’s ruining the fun,” she replies, something like pity in her eyes as she looks at Jaemin. He furrows his brows, his breath getting heavier as the air seems to get thinner. 

“Um, I- I think I’m still fun without showing skin,” Jaemin fumbles out, and the girl just laughs, finally letting her hand drop from his arm as her doe-eyed expression turns mean.

“You’d like to believe that,” she says, shaking her head and walking off.

Jaemin stared after her in a weird mix of hurt and confusion that he hadn’t ever felt before. “What?” He asks in defeat, but there was no one there to give him any clarification. 

He desperately starts looking around for you again. If he could just get back to you, if he could just slip his hand into yours, he was sure the heavy weight that’s found its way onto his chest would disappear. He was shaking, he didn’t know when he had started shaking, but it seemed to take the place of his breathing, and now he was worried about whether or not he would even have time to find you before he suffocated. Almost all the effort he was placing into finding you was now being placed into holding back his tears. Everything was too loud, he couldn’t hear his own thoughts, couldn’t hear his voice if he spoke aloud, suddenly not sure if he was even getting any words out when he opened his mouth, which only worried him more because he was dying and he couldn’t tell anyone. 

Holding your hand, it was the only positive thought he could seem to cling to, the only thing keeping him from collapsing to the floor in a ball - he had to find you, he wanted to hold your hand. He thinks it’s a miracle that his feet are able to start moving again, especially when someone definitely put 50 lb weights in his shoes without him knowing. 

He finally lays eyes on you, now in the kitchen talking with Mark, Chenle, and Jisung. Though you were maybe ten feet away, it might as well have been miles, as another hand gets placed on his chest from a random girl in front of him. “James, let me know if you get bored of Jessie later. I can give you a good time,” she says with a smirk, and Jaemin feels like he’s going to throw up; though he can’t quite tell if that was because of her words or the whirlwind of the past three minutes. In fact, if he knew just how badly he was shaking, he would’ve questioned how she didn’t feel it when she placed her hand on his chest. 

He shakes his head as quickly as he could without getting too dizzy to continue his trek towards you. “No, I quite like Jessie,” he says through hiccups, not sure when the first stray tear made its way down his cheek. He pushes past the girl without giving her time to respond and make him feel worse. All he wanted was you, and when he finally got close enough to place his shaky hand in yours, all he could manage were whispered words that he prayed would reach you, or at least leave his mouth at all. 

“Please don’t leave me.”

Still in conversation with Mark, Chenle, and Jisung, you don’t turn too much attention to Jaemin slightly behind you as you settle your hand into his touch, but that’s when you feel how badly he’s shaking. “Jaem, are you okay?” You ask at your side, though your eyes remained trained on Chenle as he told the least dramatic story in the most dramatic way.

“There’s a lot of people here,” Jaemin whimpers out, the answer confusing enough to pull your focus away from Chenle. 

“I know-” You start, your gaze following from your interlocked hands up his arm and to his face, but that’s when you actually see the state he’s in and your face instantly falls into worry. A steady stream of tears cascaded down his cheeks, his eyes tightly shut to block out the extra stimulation, only opening them to look at you before promptly getting embarrassed and turning away. You immediately squeeze his hand a little tighter in your hold, getting him to train his eyes back on you. You pick up your words as he does so, careful to hide your immense worry in your tone and instead speaking softly for him. “Hey…let’s get you to a quieter room, okay?”

Jaemin nods his head minimally, able to let out a choked response. “Okay.” You take no extra time in telling the others that you were going to have to get filled in on the story later. Instead, you just make sure your grip on Jaemin’s hand is enough to not lose him while navigating through the crowd as you immediately lead him upstairs and into an empty room. 

“Talk to me, what’s going on?” You say, closing the door and turning on a soft lamp light before you whip back around to watch Jaemin pace the entire floor, his fingers running frantically through his hair. 

“I don’t know. Everyone keeps talking to me and touching me and everything is so loud and my head hurts and it’s so hot I’m sweating and dizzy and freaking out-” He spoke all at once, and you knew the last thing he needed was to run out of breath while explaining. You jump to cut him off, still trying your best to make your voice as calming as possible for him.

“Hey…it’s gonna be okay. Can you sit down for me?” The second you said it, Jaemin was on the floor, his heavy breaths visibly not making it to his whole body. Your eyes soften some more as you look at him. It didn’t take a genius to tell you he’s never been in this situation before, and all he knew to do was trust you. You let out a soft sigh as you move closer to him. “I know you said you’re hot and sweaty and overwhelmed with touch, but is it okay if I hug you?”

“Please.” The word comes out weak, riddled with enough tears to make you break. You sit down behind him, placing your legs out along his own outstretched ones as you gently hug him from behind.  

“You can close your eyes, just focus on my voice. You’re gonna be okay,” you state with confidence, rubbing a thumb gently up and down his side. Jaemin is quick to refute, shaking his head with an intensity you wish he wouldn’t right now.

“No, y/n, it feels like I’m dying,” he says, fear covering every aspect of his voice. You let out a soft sigh.

“You’re not dying, you’re panicking.” This, too, he refuses to accept. His response comes out as firm as it could through tears.

“I don’t panic. I’m the cool guy. I’m not panicking, I’m dying.”

Despite yourself, a small laugh escapes you through an exhale, and you hug Jaemin to you extra tight. “Baby, no matter how cool you are, there’s not a person in the world completely immune to panic attacks.”

Jaemin stills for a moment, the sudden switch confusing you before he speaks and confuses you even more. “I thought you didn’t like that word,” he says, wiping his face of tears and then placing his hands on your own arms around his torso. 

You furrow your eyebrows, though with him in front of you, there was no point. “What word?” You ask. Surely he wasn’t talking about the word ‘panic attack’ but racking your brain, there was nothing else you said that wasn’t just a normal word.

“You don’t know you said it,” he says curiously, a small sniffle coming from his figure as he tries his own attempt at a light laugh. 

“What are you talking about, Jaem?” You question again. At this point, you were sure one of you was going crazy, and you really were banking on it not being you. Though, Jaemin just dismisses the subject, and with you sitting behind him, you missed the small smile that now covered his features.

“Nothing, please just continue holding me like this,” he begs softly, and you nod your head, squeezing him tighter for a second.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you reply seriously, and there you and Jaemin sat for at least another ten minutes; the only noise to break the silence was his occasional cries as he still tried to rid himself of tears and calm down completely. 

When you couldn’t remember his last sniffle, you start to rub your thumb up and down a portion of his waist, disrupting the physical stillness before you spoke and disrupted the silence.

“I wanna get you some water soon,” you say gently, but any attempt to move from your position was shot down as Jaemin quickly fumbled to grab your arms and press them firmly back down across his torso, his body beginning to shake again at the idea of you getting up.

“No! Don’t leave! Please,” he chokes out, and almost all of the progress you thought he made in the past few minutes was erased.

You sigh, and refusing to think about the fact that you were practically breaking your own rule, you lean forward to kiss him on the cheek. “I’m staying right next to you, Jaem,” you start, and you watch as he basically forces his breathing to get back to normal at your words…or at least tries to. “Do you want me to call Jeno and get him to bring up water for you, or do you want to follow me down to the kitchen, grab a water bottle, and leave?”  

Jaemin thinks for a moment before dropping his head in what you assume was shame, which was the last thing he needed to be feeling. “I- can we leave?”

You squeeze your arms around his body once more in acknowledgement. “Yeah, come on,” you reply, and the two of you slowly make your way off the floor and into a standing position. As you let go of his waist, you immediately grab his hand in yours, looking up at Jaemin for confirmation that this was what he wanted to do. He stared back down at you with a teary smile and nod, and with that, you led him out of the bedroom and back downstairs. 

Thankfully, Mark, Chenle, and Jisung were still in the kitchen, meaning you had to cover no extra ground to fill Mark in on your departure. 

“Hey, I’m gonna take Jaemin home,” you say, turning to face Mark after grabbing a water bottle from the fridge he was standing next to.

Mark furrows his brows. “Everything okay?” He asks, knowing Jaemin wasn’t one to leave parties early, nor was he one to have tear streaks painted across his face.

You try to smile but it comes out more as a grimace. “Yeah, he’s just a little overwhelmed today. Thank you for inviting us, though. It was a blast.” 

Mark nods his head in understanding. “Thanks for coming. Are you driving?”

“Yeah,” you reply, and Mark forces some sobriety back in his system.

“You haven’t had anything to drink, have you?” He asks in worry, and you let a grateful smile paint your face as you respond.

“No, I’m okay.”

Mark nods before taking another sip of his own drink. “Okay. Be safe. I’ll see you guys soon.” You reciprocate his nod in acknowledgement and then immediately lead Jaemin towards the front door and back to the car.

You make sure he’s all taken care of in the passenger seat before you start messing with the controls in the driver’s seat to move it to where you could actually drive. You make a mental note to apologize about changing the position of his seat and mirrors tomorrow after everything’s calmed down, but as you start driving, Jaemin is the one to beat you to an apology. 

“I’m sorry,” he says weakly, and you risk a quick glance over at him with furrowed brows.

“Huh, why?”

Jaemin fiddles with his fingers in his lap, unable to look anywhere else because of his embarrassment. “For making you leave the party. You were having fun,” he answers softly, and despite your best efforts, a small laugh escapes you.

“Jaem, I was having fun because all we did was hang around with our group of friends. I don’t care for parties in and of themselves, you know that. Truthfully, I’d rather just be with you right now,” you say, and as you pull up to a stop sign, you look back over at him again. Defeat riddled his features as he spits out a response.

“But I’m just crying.” He speaks those words as though he were mad at himself for it, and you don’t understand how your best friend came to believe that he always had to be some perfectly presented guy.

You let out a sigh before turning your attention back to the road. “It doesn’t change the fact that I like spending time with you. Besides, you’d be crazy to think I’d rather be anywhere else right now when you’ve got me so worried about you.” When the only response from Jaemin is another sob he tries to cover up, you frown. “I’m not mad at you for making us leave the party early, and I’m not mad at you for crying,” you add on, and Jaemin finally lifts his head to look over at you in his driver’s seat. He seems to scan your figure up and down, processing your words and the fact that you were actually taking care of him right now. He sniffles once more before abruptly turning his focus back to his lap, and the car ride is silent the rest of the way to his apartment. 

As soon as Jaemin gets into his own room, he already looks a thousand times better; the tension in his shoulders finally falls and his breathing gets more regular. You scavenge around his apartment for anything he may need during the night and next morning, because outside of his panic attack, he was still tipsy, too. 

With a fresh water bottle and ibuprofen set on his night stand, you bid Jaemin goodnight, running a hand gently through his hair as he laid down in bed. However, before you can fully turn around and leave, Jaemin catches the hand you just had in his hair. In shock, you whip back around, just to be met with wide pleading eyes.

“Please stay,” he says softly, and your breath hitches for a moment before you resume your cool, or at least try to.

“Jaemin-” You start, your tone already giving way to your refusal. Though, Jaemin cuts you off in an instant, his grip on you getting slightly tighter.

“You said you wouldn’t leave me,” he shoots back, and his voice is already shaky again from the sudden raise in volume of his claim.

You sigh, trying to slowly snake your hand out of his grip as you reply. “Yeah, but I was kind of meaning that for while we were still at the party, not…now, when you’re going to sleep.”

He refuses to let you out of his hold, and he pulls you even closer to the end of the bed. “What if Haechan comes back?” He starts, trying his best to talk normally. “He’d be really confused as to why you didn’t stay over after the night I had.”

Despite yourself, you let out a small laugh. “There’s no shot Haechan makes it back tonight or is sober enough to think about anything but getting in bed himself. You’re just saying that to try and convince me.”

He finally lets his grip on you drop as he lets out a heavy breath bordering on the dividing line between defeat and hope. “Is it working?” He asks, and though you were finally free from his grasp, able to just say a final goodnight and leave to head back to your place, you don’t. Instead, you drop your head, speaking so softly you’re not sure Jaemin would even be able to hear.

“I want the side next to the wall.” 

With your gaze facing the floor, you couldn’t see the sudden warm glow behind Jaemin’s eyes as he pulled back the comforter on that side and pulled his legs up so you could crawl over by the foot of the bed, neither of you saying another word as you do. 

Jaemin didn’t know why he was so captivated by watching you fall asleep in his bed. The two of you must’ve been at least a full foot away from each other, as you immediately made sure to press up against the wall and make yourself as small as you could. That was fine by Jaemin. He wasn’t asking for the two of you to cuddle in the first place - this was still a fake relationship after all, and he was very much aware of that. In fact, that truth was probably more plaguing than ever at the front of his mind. Now instead of a reminder that he had to pretend to date you, it was a reminder that this was ending in two months. Jaemin’s tipsy brain couldn’t put together what the sinking feeling in his chest meant at the realization of that. So, he pushed it away, and just looked over at you sleeping peacefully right up against the wall. He didn’t need to have his arms around you - knowing you were next to him was enough, and for the first time that night since the party started, he was completely at peace.

When you wake up and realize you were more comfortable than usual in your bed, you open your eyes and figure out that it’s because you’re not in your bed. In fact, you’re hardly resting against a bed at all. Instead, one of your arms is lazily thrown over your best friend’s waist as your head rested comfortably, incredibly too comfortably, on his chest. The discovery that your legs were some kind of interlaced didn’t make things any better, and the full realization that you were practically on top of Jaemin had you jolt. This, of course, didn’t do anything but wake him up. With your head now propped up on his chest, you watch as he slowly peeks open one of his eyes, exhaustion still written over all his features. However, the second his gaze lands on you, he shoots open both eyes. Embarrassment quickly floods your being as you address everything. “Uh, sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

You’re cut off with a light chuckle and softly spoken words from Jaemin. “You’re okay.” Regardless of his response, you can’t shake the embarrassment. Jaemin’s arms fall from around your body as you try to get up, and that’s when you realize both of his arms were wrapped around you in the first place. You push the thought to the back of your head, turning to get off of his bed completely. 

You’re stopped by his hand grabbing yours. You quickly turn your attention back to Jaemin, who still had yet to move any part of his body but his arms as he looks at you softly, pleading. “Can we go back to sleep?”

You swallow awkwardly, your throat now suddenly dry. You dart your eyes around his room before sighing and just landing your gaze back on him. “Um, do you still need me here for that?” You ask genuinely. Jaemin breaks eye contact this time, as he just looks down at your two hands still holding onto each other. He gives a slow nod of his head, humming a little. 

You bite your lip to stop a smile from coming onto your face. It wasn’t often that you got to see your best friend looking as gentle and small as he did now. Jaemin, with the larger than life personality just wanting to stay in bed with you, it was hard to say ‘no.’ So, you don’t. “Okay.” Though when you move to resume your position back by the wall, he chuckles a bit and uses your still interlocked hands to pull you back onto him. 

The next two days after you woke up on top of Jaemin (again) were filled with an awkward period of zero contact between the two of you. You couldn’t blame him for not responding to your text to hang out the day after. You were both really good at never crossing lines back in high school, but Halloween put a blur on every single one…and it didn’t help that he was tipsy that night, too. Outside of whatever rules in your contract were broken, you were sure Jaemin was also just embarrassed to no end. 

There was a lot of pressure on him to be this man with no emotions; his label as a fuckboy meant people typically started and stopped all their thoughts about him at the sexual level, and he did his best to live up to their many expectations in that department, neglecting all the other parts of his being that needed tending to. Vulnerability was not a Jaemin specialty, largely because it’s never what anyone was looking for from him; and anything that lessened his sex appeal, and thus meant he couldn’t make a call and immediately have any girl he wanted, was a possibility he sought to avoid. 

You didn’t necessarily mind the no-contact, though. Your heart was doing flips and spins in Jaemin’s presence on Halloween, and you had to give yourself a cool-down period before seeing him so that you could act normal around him again - whatever it was that ‘normal’ looked like when you were having to convince a group of friends that you liked your best friend while convincing your best friend you didn’t actually like him. 

Jaemin made up an excuse for your absence at Monday’s lunch, but on Tuesday he finally messaged you again and asked you out for ice cream, which you of course said ‘yes’ to. He meets you at the entrance to your dorm and smiles at you with something like a sigh of relief when you smile back at him; though, with his messy hair, thick-framed glasses, and a hoodie adorning his figure, it was hard to do anything but smile - he looked criminally boyfriend. 

“Hey, I’m- sorry…for it being weird these past few days,” he gets out somewhat awkwardly as you start on your walk towards the best ice cream parlor by campus. 

You shake your head with a small laugh. “It’s okay. You’ve been going through it recently,” you joke, and Jaemin licks his lips before bringing himself to laugh as well. 

“Thanks for uh- putting up with me on Halloween.” He speaks as though the words were bitter on his tongue. “I’m sorry about forcing you to spend the night.” 

You let out a sigh. You wanted to stop and force him to see the sincerity in your eyes as you told him that you weren’t ‘putting up with him,’ but you knew you needed to keep this moment more casual so he wouldn’t find these vulnerable bits overwhelming and consequently shut down. So instead, you just keep walking with a small shake of your head.

“You don’t have to apologize for that. You just had a panic attack - if I didn’t spend the night, I wouldn’t have gotten any sleep. I would’ve stayed up all night worried about you. It was better that I was with you.” 

Jaemin lets something like a grimace cross his features as he responds with a wry laugh. “You care about me a lot,” he points out, making you look up at him by your side with raised brows.

“Of course I do. You’re my best friend,” you say seriously, and Jaemin looks down to meet your gaze, giving away the distant look in his eyes.

“Ha, fair,” he begins. “I care about you a lot, too.” As he continues, he drops his head to face his feet. “But I don’t think I’d know how to take care of you while you’re having a panic attack,” he admits regrettably, but all you can do is give a soft smile.

“I’m not expecting you to. All I ask is that you let me be there for you again if you have another one…and that you stop being so embarrassed about showing emotions,” you tack on, causing Jaemin to laugh a bit in defeat.

“Okay, angel, but only with you. I have a hot guy persona to keep up in the real world,” he says through a smile, but you shake your head.

“You’re hot, regardless,” you deadpan, and Jaemin’s face lights up as he nudges you in the side playfully.

“Well, look at that! You sweet talker. Maybe I’ll pay for your ice cream today,” he banters, and soon the two of you are in shared laughter as you elbow him back. 

“Whatever. I’m 80% sure you were gonna pay for my ice cream even before that.”

“80%?” He echos, bringing a hand up to his chest as though he’s been shot. “Such little faith,” he tuts, shaking his head and making you roll your eyes playfully.

“Am I supposed to have more faith in a fuckboy than that?” You tease, and Jaemin’s face falls into a mock seriousness, holding open the door to the ice cream parlor for you as he looks at your figure with raised eyebrows. 

“No, you’re supposed to have more faith in your best friend than that,” he says as you pass through the door, and you look back at him to share matching small smiles.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I have nothing but faith in you,” you reply as he, too, fully steps inside and lets the door swing closed behind him. The proximity has you looking almost directly up at him as he stares down at you in much the same manner; playful gleams in your eyes and fond smiles adorning your faces. At once, he nods his head towards the counter behind you.

“Go order, angel. It’s on me today.” 

You scrunch your face up at him with a big grin. “Thanks, handsome.” Then you promptly turn around and head towards where the cashier was waiting to take your order, not even taking one chance to look back and see how red Jaemin’s face had gotten in response. 

Jaemin knew it was coming, that was the funny thing. He just wasn’t expecting the disconnect between his head and his heart to be remedied all at once; but looking at you standing in line and pointing at what flavor you wanted, he had never wanted to do this with anyone else, but he really really wanted it with you, today and every day after that.

Sitting down and actually eating ice cream included the most normal of conversations between you and Jaemin. He wasn’t your best friend for nothing - the two of you could talk forever and never run out of things to say or comfort and joy to find in each other’s presence. As such, when you finished your ice cream cones and left the parlor, interaction flowed as it always had while he walked you back to your dorm…meaning the two of you looked like just best friends; close enough on the sidewalk to hear each other but far enough apart so that there was no possibility of accidentally grazing the back of each other’s hands or anything. You were hardly conscious of it, elated at the fact that you and Jaemin were so close and consistent again after the past few years, but Jaemin could practically only focus on the distance between the two of you.

You had basically just stepped foot back on actual campus when Jaemin abruptly stopped, grabbing your wrist and turning you towards him as he spoke in a rush.

“My friends are looking, kiss me,” he says in something close to a panic, and so you immediately oblige, pressing up on your tiptoes to kiss him firmly. You place your hands on his chest to steady yourself as you break away, catching your breath - something that Jaemin always seemed to make you lose - as you turn your head around to look at the surrounding area.

“Where are they?” You ask through a light pant, turning back to Jaemin once you checked and double checked but caught no sign of his friends. 

Jaemin licks his lips hesitantly, shaking his head. “They must have left already,” he says through an exhale, and you take a deep breath, finally allowing yourself to step away from Jaemin’s body as you face the ground, trying to regain your footing from the whiplash it felt you just went through. Jaemin lets out an awkward cough before speaking up again. “We should probably hold hands all the time when we’re in public, though. I’m pretty sure Chenle’s the only suspicious one still out of the friend group, but it’d throw anyone off if we’re dating and not holding hands. And if there’s one thing I learned from the Halloween party, it’s that people don’t know we’re dating, and that should probably change so it doesn’t just look like an act put on for the friend group…or Chenle’s never gonna believe it.” 

He wasn’t wrong, and you knew that - you knew that before all of this even started. Rule number three was that the act is immediately dropped in private, but that came with the other side of things being that you had to put on an act while in public, regardless of who was around to witness it. 

You nod your head slowly. “Yeah, okay,” you cede, and Jaemin’s hand immediately finds yours, the warmth from the contact making you realize how chilled your bones currently were. There was no more hiding it from girls in your classes now - you were Jaemin’s girlfriend to the general public, not just to his six best friends. You needed these next two months to pass by quickly, because with the promise of Jaemin’s hand being in yours more than ever, you were sure your chances of survival just decreased dramatically. 

That Friday, your date night was replaced with a night in at Jaemin’s apartment. As soon as he shot you a text saying he was home from class, you made your way over to his place. He opened the door with the bright smile he typically revealed just for you, stepping back to let you inside with a fond, “hey angel.” 

You step inside with a smile and small greeting in reply. “What do you wanna do today?” You ask, turning around to face him once you realize you were aimlessly crossing the span of his apartment for no reason. Already preparing for the question, Jaemin moves his hand from behind his back to reveal a thick blu-ray case in his grip.

“Harry Potter movie marathon?” He asks with a smirk.

You look back at him with raised eyebrows and a small grin of your own. “You know I can’t say ‘no’ to Harry Potter at any point in the Fall or Winter seasons,” you reply, and Jaemin’s eyes find a new glow behind them.

“That and Gilmore Girls; though I’m much more in the mood for Harry Potter because if we started rewatching Gilmore Girls now, we’d have to get through all those episodes with that floppy-haired jerk and really, Jess is so much better,” he adds on seriously, and all you can do is laugh. 

“Hey, Dean is at least better than Logan,” you respond, and Jaemin lets out an actual groan.

“Please don’t get me started on Logan…can we instead get started on Harry Potter?” He asks again, waving the disc case around invitingly and causing you to laugh some more as you walk towards the couch. 

“Just waiting on you,” you answer as you plop down on the couch, making Jaemin roll his eyes playfully before turning around to set everything up on the TV. As the familiar soundtrack fills the room, Jaemin places himself next to you like normal, handing you a blanket to make the cozy night-in complete. 

Two hours later, as Jaemin got up to switch out the discs from The Sorcerer’s Stone to The Chamber of Secrets, you got up for a bathroom break, and when the two of you sat back down, there was maybe an inch less space between you both than previously. Not much else changed. That is, until not even ten minutes into the second movie. You catch in your peripheral as Jaemin moves his hand up to scratch at the back of his neck. You don’t think anything of it until that arm doesn’t come back down to his side, but instead wraps around the back of your shoulders.

“Is Haechan here?” You ask lightly, trying to talk over the sound of your breath hitching. Haechan’s room was closest to the bathroom, and you don’t remember any sign of life coming from nearby while you were in there, but nothing else explained this, because this was not normal between the two of you. 

“No,” Jaemin answers shortly, and all you can do is swallow hesitantly as you fight for words again.

“Then why is your arm around my shoulder?” You ask, trying to make it sound as though your words were a playful tease and not a desperate question. 

Jaemin looks over at you with raised eyebrows and a playful smirk. “Because what if he comes back?” He replies casually, and you try to roll your eyes in much the same manner, as though his arm around your shoulder wasn’t single-handedly making your heart rate spike. He was right, anyway - if Haechan came back, it would be weird for the two of you to be sitting any other way.

It was during Prisoner of Azkaban when Haechan inevitably walked into the apartment. Busy with locking the door behind him, he was caught off guard when locking eyes with the two of you as he turned back around. Though, all at once, his gaze softened as he looked between you, Jaemin, and the television. “Hey guys,” he says warmly, and you mentally high-five yourself not only for the fact that you and Jaemin seemed to have truly won Haechan over, but also that you had won Haechan over; the main reason this bet was even made was because Haechan couldn’t stand whatever girl it was that Jaemin had over, but here he was, excited to see you cuddled into Jaemin on the couch, and that win was not lost on you. 

“Hey,” Jaemin replied with a smile. “We’re watching Harry Potter if you want to join,” he continues, but Haechan shakes his head at the extended invite as he moves to grab something from the mess that was the kitchen counter.

“Tempting, but- I’m all good. I’m about to head back out, actually. Mark and I are gonna hit a few bars and try to unwind from this bullshit week,” he says with a weak laugh. You and Jaemin flash your eyebrows in acknowledgement. 

“Let me know if you need a ride back home. We’ll swing by to grab you and Mark, or- I will, at least, depending on what time it ends up being. Regardless, be safe. I enjoy having you as a roommate,” Jaemin says, his tone turning more playful with every word. 

Haechan rolls his eyes with a smile. “Yeah, yeah. I won’t drink and drive. We all know I’m smarter than that,” he says, but when he makes eye contact with you and Jaemin again, he meets your wide-eyed stares of doubt, causing him to shake his head with a more hearty laugh. “You guys suck,” he says with a smile. “I’ll keep you updated throughout the night. It was nice seeing you, y/n,” he continues seriously, beginning to fiddle with the front door lock on his exit.

“You, too,” you reply genuinely, and with one more nod and wave goodbye, he was out the door. It wasn’t even five seconds later when Jaemin’s arm detaches itself from your shoulder, instead finding comfort at his side again. He didn’t pay any mind to it, his attention pinned solely on the movie. You do your best to not show any physical reaction to the absence of his touch, especially when you were the one giving him a hard time for it in the first place. You’re almost shocked by how well Jaemin is able to turn it on and off, though you figure the real problem was how poorly you were able to do the same. Jaemin was just doing his part, exactly as he said he would. 

Your heart had to stop looking for hidden meaning to every touch, every “angel,” because he was your best friend and crush, but you were his best friend and fake-girlfriend. Unbeknownst to you, Jaemin ran through the same spiel in reverse inside his own head, figuring if he kept his arm around you now with the promise of Haechan being gone, you would surely catch onto the fact that he craved your touch more than typical of best friends - which was exactly what you both were going back to at the start of the new year.

It was the first Tuesday after you and Jaemin agreed to ramp up your public dating facade, and you were already the center of attention as you walked into class at 11:00. You tell yourself no one’s gaze locked onto you as you opened the door for class - that you were making it up; but at least some percent of that story was false, because as you sit in your chair and start pulling out your notebook for class, your name gets called from the seat diagonal to you. “Y/n, rumor has it that you and Jaemin are actually dating,” this girl, Hana, says. You knew she was looking for a response, so you don’t give her one, instead focusing on your pen mindlessly rolling between your fingers. 

“You? With a guy like him?” She continues, adding more bite and disbelief to each word. You keep your gaze focused in front of you, jaw tightening as you try to hide more robust reactions. That is, until she continues. “You can’t be that good in bed.” Your fist clenches as you whip your head towards her; furrowed, taunting eyebrows matching the fire in her eyes and the smirk on her lips, the rest of her friend group snickering behind her. You have the patience for none of it - you were not going to sit here and take this.

“Actually,” you begin, your kind tone dripping in sarcasm. “I know this is something you don’t have experience with, so bear with me, but Jaemin genuinely likes me as a person and so I didn’t have to win him over with just my skills in bed. Yeah! He actually wants to hold my hand and tell me pretty things and I’m just so sorry that he never had the desire to do any of that with the likes of you!” You give her one last look before shrugging a bit, even your fake smile completely ridden from your face. “Actually, I’m not sorry at all.”

Hana looks mortified, her friend group in the surrounding desks all watching the exchange now with wide eyes. You don’t even think any of them saw it coming when Hana got up from her seat and lunged towards you, swinging at your face. “You bitch!” She yells at you, her fist making contact with the area around your eye. You wince slightly but you refused to give her the satisfaction of a bigger reaction - you’d leave that for when you were alone. You move your hand up to touch the area, making sure none of her rings caught your skin and drew blood, but when your fingers came back clean, you just move your gaze back to her in disinterest.

“Are you done now?” You ask monotonously. You catch her fist clench again in your peripheral and prepare yourself for another hit because seemingly none of the other students were concerned with stopping the exchange. However, your professor finally walks in before Hana can even get another word out, and instead she’s told to take her seat as you swing back to face the front of the room in your own chair. The throbbing that half of your face was currently experiencing would have to wait an hour and twenty minutes to be addressed, you weren’t letting her win.

Thankfully, that was your last of two classes for the day, so you were able to head back to your dorm directly after. You throw your backpack down in the entryway and immediately head for your bathroom to assess the damages. “Fuck,” you whisper under your breath. The hour and a half was enough time for a proper bruise to start forming, and it wasn’t necessarily the prettiest of black eyes. You move a hand up to touch the area again, this time just the light pressure already putting you in horrid pain. With a defeated groan, you leave the bathroom and dig through your freezer for an ice pack to hold up to the area instead. 

Settling yourself down on the couch, you decide the last thing you need is for Jaemin to see you like this. With a sigh, you open your phone and pull up your texts with him. Hey, just a heads up, I don’t have a lot of time to hang this week or make it to friend group lunches.  

Jaemin’s reply is almost instantaneous. Is everything okay?

You frown at the message. You hated lying to your best friend, but explaining what was up would defeat the whole purpose of saying you couldn’t hang out anyways. Yep! You reply instead, thankful when Jaemin didn’t press any further. You’d give yourself a week to heal, and then you were sure makeup would be able to cover what little would be left of the bruising by then.

Those plans didn’t even last twenty-four hours. There was a knock on your door after classes on Wednesday and you figured it was your RA here to remind you not to leave your windows open while out at class with the chances of snow ever increasing. Though, when you lazily throw your door open, it’s your best friend on the other side. Your eyes go wide and you immediately move a hand up to cover the left half of your face where your black eye was still very much at its peak. “Jaemin, what are you doing here?!” You ask in a rush, but he doesn’t match your demeanor at all.

Instead, he shrugs, a light smile painting his lips. “I missed you, angel-” He answers as he brings a hand up to your wrist and gently guides your own hand down away from your face…and that’s when his energy completely flips, eyes going wide as he rushes to place a hand on your cheek and assess the damage himself. “Oh my god, what happened to you?!” He asks in a panic. You shake your head adamantly, trying to move his hand away from your face as you reply with a serious bite.

“Nothing, it’s fine,” you reply dismissively, and Jaemin’s eyebrows furrow as he scans your entire face.

“Is this why you said you couldn’t hang out?” He asks, almost mad if you had to put an emotion on it.

You shake your head, dropping your gaze to face the floor. “Jaem, don’t worry about it-” You start indifferently, but he cuts you off with enough emotion for the both of you. 

“What happened?” He questions again, this time his tone much firmer than any of his previous questions. His gaze bore into you, and you knew there wasn’t any getting out of this. You let out an annoyed sigh, shrugging like it was nothing as you go to reply.

“This girl in my class found out we were dating, and apparently that pissed her off because she didn’t think I deserved you or I was taking her spot and all that. And I snapped back so she punched me,” you finally answer, and Jaemin’s body language immediately softens as he looks over you once more with a frown and wide eyes.

“Y/n…” You don’t want to deal with his sorry tone. Instead, you move to meet his gaze again as you shake your head, the frustrated tears in your eyes rather revealing themself in your fractured tone.

“Please just sleep with her, Jaem. Tell her we broke up or something and then sleep with her. Or pretend you’re cheating on me with her…she’d love that, and no one would believe her if she said so, so we keep our cover,” you suggest in a rush, and Jaemin looks at you as though you just committed murder.

“No. Absolutely not,” he replies instantly.

“Jaem-” You start through a defeated exhale, but hearing you out was currently the last thing on Jaemin’s mind.

“I’m not fucking sleeping with someone who hurt you,” he states with force, and you don’t know why this is such a big deal to him, not when the solution was this simple.

“I would just rather have her satisfied and dealt with,” you respond hollowly, and Jaemin actually lets out a laugh.

“Oh, I’ll be sure to deal with her, don’t worry.” His angry promise makes you sigh, and all you can do is respond in defeat.

“Jaem-” You begin, and you’re not given any time to decide how you want to continue as he cuts you off. Passion still courses through Jaemin’s body as he shakes his head, taking a break from clenching his jaw to speak again.

“She should know better than to lay a hand on my girl,” he argues, and now you absolutely know you need to get him to calm down.

“I’m not really your girl,” you state plainly, and if you weren’t already feeling deflated, you sure did now as you admitted that. Jaemin seems to react to your statement in much the same way, his features softening for a moment as he looked at you again, bringing a hand up to run through his hair in frustration; though this time, the frustration was aimed towards himself. 

“I- I know. I’m sorry, I never should have asked you to do this for me. I was so selfish, goddammit,” he rambles under his breath absentmindedly as he begins to pace back and forth. You shake your head softly, reaching out to catch Jaemin’s wrist and force his movements to still.

“It’s fine, handsome,” you state firmly, and you watch as a million emotions run over Jaemin’s face, him just sucking on his bottom lip in hesitation. The hand that was previously caught in your grip comes up to cup your cheek again, his thumb lightly grazing your bruise as he studies you with a sad look on his face. 

“No, angel,” he begins with a sigh. “It’s really not.” 

You falter under his soft gaze and sure words, shaking your head as you fumble for words of your own. “It will be fine, then. Just let me lay low for a bit. I probably won’t be at lunch on Friday…I don’t necessarily need your friends seeing me beat up like this,” you try and laugh off.

Jaemin looks at you quizzically. “They wouldn’t-” He begins, but you cut him off with pleading eyes.

“Jaem, please,” you counter, and he just nods his head solemnly. 

“Okay.” He lets out a breath before darting his gaze around from you to the rest of the living area, locking eyes with your backpack and giving him a reason to stay in your presence for a bit longer. “Can we do homework together?” He asks, and you lightly sigh as you nod your head, guiding his hand down from your cheek so you could instead head towards the couch and set everything up on the coffee table for the two of you. 

Your main distraction from homework came in the form of whatever was on the television. Jaemin’s main distraction came in the form of you; he could hardly finish one part of an assignment without turning his head to look over at you, chewing on his bottom lip as he studied you softly, then whipping his gaze back to his laptop before you could ever feel his eyes on you. It was the least productive he's ever been.

Friday was the next time you saw Jaemin, when he came over as per usual for your ‘date nights.’ However, with you missing the friend group lunch for the second time this week, he immediately greeted you with a related request. “Hey, the guys miss you. They wanted to know if you were down for a movie night tomorrow,” he says casually as he closes the door behind him. 

You turn to face him with a straight face. “Jaem, my black eye isn’t going to be-” You watch as Jaemin rolls his lips inward and dodges your eye contact, and all you can do is let out a heavy sigh. “You told them, didn’t you?” You ask instead, and Jaemin’s hidden lips reappear to form a weak don’t-be-mad grin. That is, until he meets your eyes again and lets out his own sigh, shrugging his shoulders as he resets his facial expression to something more casual again.

“They wanted to know where you were,” he says in defense. You watch as the memory of lunch replays behind his eyes and he tilts his head slightly as he looks at you with an anticipatory cringe in how you were going to respond as he continues. “…and now they’re all pissed and want to be there to make you feel better, too,” he finishes with a dorky smile, as though his full set of teeth would fix everything. Unfortunately, he was right about that, and all you can manage is a huff of laughter as you shake your head. 

“Oh my. Sure, we can have a movie night,” you give in with a smile, and Jaemin lights up before pulling out his phone to text the group that the plans for tomorrow are a go. Then, your Friday night with Jaemin consisted of a large pizza, red wine, and board games. 

That Saturday night, Jaemin came to pick you up and take you back to his apartment where the movie night was being held, insisting that Haechan could hold down fort as he came to pick you up…and that no boyfriend would let his girlfriend drive herself over to his place when he had a perfectly good truck and an excuse to kiss you under the porch light before joining all the guys; you told him he was an idiot, but he met that with a kiss on your cheek, claiming that you were the idiot for not taking a free kiss under the porch light with the Na Jaemin…a low blow considering the reason behind your bruising eye. 

When you step inside his apartment, the rest of the guys silence mid-conversation, instead turning all of their attention to you. Their shoulders drop as your black eye comes into the light. Embarrassment flushes your cheeks as you turn into Jaemin’s chest, and he wraps his arms around you lightly with a warm laugh, kissing the top of your head before turning his attention to his friends. “I’m pretty sure you guys promised me you would be chill about this if she came over,” he states playfully, causing the rest of them to drop their heads with a small laugh of their own.

“Our fault for caring about her,” Jeno banters back, and all you can do is sigh and pull away from Jaemin’s chest, facing the rest of the group again. He was right, not about it being their fault, but for the fact that their frowns just meant they cared about you, and it wasn’t like you didn’t feel the same way towards them - you’d frown, too if one of them walked in battered and bruised. 

You roll your eyes playfully with a mellow shake of your head. “It’s fine. I’m fine,” you assure, turning your gaze to Jaemin before tossing your head side to side with a small smirk. “Besides, I’d say Jaem’s worth a punch or two.” The guys in front of you laugh but Jaemin furrows his brows.

“Or two?” He echoes worriedly, making you turn to him again with a soft, sure gaze. 

“One,” you promise him and watch as a bit of relief washes over his figure, nodding his head as he takes it in. 

“Um, you guys wanna watch Transformers?” Jisung speaks up awkwardly, shattering whatever tension you and Jaemin just created and instead making everyone chuckle. 

Mark whips his head over to Jisung. “I thought we were watching Spider-Man…?” He adds sulkily. Jisung’s jaw drops, because apparently he had been looking forward to a Transformers marathon nonstop since the plans were made; but Chenle cuts off any chance of a response from him, instead just shaking his head rapidly.

“It doesn’t matter. Just choose anything before they take the pause in activity to make out,” he says as though he were horrified by the possibility, and Renjun lets out a sure laugh as he places a hand on Chenle’s shoulder.

“Still traumatized by the pda you asked for at that first lunch?” He asks, and Chenle looks at him with wide eyes.

“Can you blame me? So, they’re in a relationship…that’s great. Slightly cringe, but whatever. You know what’s not cringe? Spider-Man.”

“The Transformers!” Jisung corrects adamantly, getting everyone to laugh again.

“Sure, the Transformers,” Chenle agrees automatically, and Haechan rolls his eyes with a soft smile as he moves to set up the TV. 

The eight of you got situated before another beat could pass. Mark on the recliner, Chenle and Jisung on the small couch, and then you, Jaemin, Jeno, Haechan, and Renjun taking up the big couch in the middle of the room. You cuddled easily into Jaemin as he threw an arm around your shoulder, his fingers lightly tracing patterns on the side of your arm. 

For the group of you typically being a mess of chaos when you were all together, the eight of you somehow all followed the same unspoken rules when it came to movie night. There was no talking and, surprisingly, no one distracted by their phone. However, the peace of the perfect movie night was broken maybe twenty minutes into the first movie, when a chill ran through your body and the resulting shiver didn’t go unnoticed. “Do you want a blanket, y/n?” Mark asks softly. All at once, the guys whipped their heads towards him, furrowed brows adding to their glares at his disruption. That is, until it registers for them what Mark just asked, and all their gazes soften as they draw their attention to you in wait for your answer, Haechan pausing the movie entirely. 

You let out a laugh under your breath, shaking your head at Mark with a grateful smile. “No, I’m okay,” you say quickly, trying to get everyone’s focus back on the movie because one shiver was not enough reason for concern. The guys all flash their eyebrows at your answer, immediately accepting it as they turn their attention back to the movie. 

It isn’t long though before you shiver again, and while your attempt to cover it up was stellar, it wasn’t enough to get past the man holding you in his arms. Jaemin leans down so his lips are by your ear. “Go put on one of my hoodies,” he whispers slowly.

You shake your head minimally in response, eyes still trained on the Transformers. “I’m okay-” Your whispered words are cut off when the movie pauses, and you whip your head over to face Jaemin now, remote in hand and raised brows as he stares back at you seriously. A chorus of complaints erupt from the rest of the guys but Jaemin is only focused on you, and you can’t do anything but let out a light sigh. “Are you sure?” You ask, and Jaemin’s brows go from raised to furrowed.

“Am I sure? Of course I’m sure. You’re my girlfriend. Please go dig through my closet and wear my clothes,” he replies firmly, nodding his head now in the direction of his bedroom. You dodge any further eye contact with him as you instead slip out of his arms and towards his room. You don’t spend too much time in there, more than aware that they were all still waiting on you before unpausing the movie. You throw on the first hoodie you see, trying to ignore how much it smelled like him - how comforting it was to be wrapped in that scent. 

You put on a straight face as you walk back out to the living room, though you begin to think it was unnecessary considering their reactions, or- Jaemin’s, at least. He immediately broke from the idle chatter he was having with Jeno as he instead locked his gaze on you, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. You fall shy under his gaze, looking around at the rest of the guys to see if you missed something before accepting the fact that it was just Jaemin who had the answers. “What?” You ask hesitantly, and it forces Jaemin to snap back to reality and collect himself.

He lets out something of a defeated laugh, shaking his head as he concludes his look up and down your body. “You should’ve been swimming in my hoodies for the past two months already,” he answers seriously, and suddenly your cheeks are on fire. You hide your face in your hands and the rest of the guys let fond grins paint their face at the interaction between the two of you. That was the first time it truly hit all of them that they were each about to lose $100 soon. Though it was hard for them to even be mad about it, because in everyone’s eyes but your own, Jaemin was whipped, and that was all they ever wanted for their best friend. 

The group got through three movies before everyone started fading, eyelids feeling heavier by the minute. Renjun was the one to turn the lamp on at the side table beside him, putting everyone on the same page as they all got up from their seats and started getting ready to leave. Chenle is the first to say his goodbyes and head for the door, but as he places his hand on the knob, he whips back around. “Oh, wait!” He starts, louder than any of you were prepared for as you stare back at him in question. He shakes his head, the volume of his voice apparently even getting to him, but then he looks back at you all seriously. “I’m having my big New Year’s Eve party again. You’re all invited, obviously. I don’t know anyone’s plans after finals week, so I figured I’d just tell you now before we’re all in different places - if you wind up back at NCIT by December 31st, I’d love to have you, and if you wind up back at NCIT even earlier than that, please please please please please-” 

“Chenle,” you all cut him off in unison, and he gives an awkward laugh.

“Please consider helping set up,” he says flusteredly. You all let out fond chuckles as you nod your head at the boy, and he lets a wide smile grace his features before finally opening the door and leaving with a soft ‘thank you.’ 

Dropping you off at your dorm, Jaemin fumbles for words before you can even open the door back to your place, and you turn around to pin all your attention on him instead as he speaks up awkwardly. “Uh- about Chenle’s party…”

“Yes, I’ll go. We said that would be our last day together so we might as well be…together,” you say, and Jaemin nods his head slowly. 

“Okay; and for next weekend…?” He leaves the question at that and that’s when you realize you truly hadn’t given him much to plan with yet. You shake your head with a small laugh. 

“We’ll leave Saturday morning for my parents’ house. I have finals up until Friday anyways. The big dinner you have to be there for is Saturday night, so you can do whatever you would like with your break after that.” 

Jaemin processes the information with a distant expression before pulling it into a smile. “Alright, angel. Good luck with finals next week. I’ll be ready to go Saturday morning,” he says happily, and all you can do is match his smile.

“Good luck on your finals, too-” You start, but as you move to wrap him in one last hug, you catch sight of the hoodie covering your arms and jump back. “Oh! I’m still wearing your hoodie. Sorry-” You speak in a rush as you work to try and slip out of it, but Jaemin shakes his head.

“Don’t worry. Keep it,” he responds seriously, making you whip your head up at him and causing him to laugh. “It would be really suspicious if I came back home with the hoodie that I just said you looked cute in, and I’m not taking any chances with us so close to the three month mark now. Just don’t lose it…it’s my favorite hoodie.” 

You let out a flustered laugh. “Well, are you sure you don’t want it back, then? Haechan is probably asleep already-” You reason as you start pulling one arm out of the hoodie again. 

“Just keep it,” he cuts you off with a warm chuckle before continuing more somberly. “Our three months are almost up. I’ll get it back in no time.” If the words were bitter on his tongue, you didn’t notice. You were too preoccupied trying to neutralize your own emotions at the notion of this all ending soon. 

You’re scared your voice would betray you if you opened your mouth again to speak, so instead you just nod your head, finally wrapping him in that goodbye hug and then turning to let yourself into your dorm. 

Finals week somehow went by in a flash, and you’re scared to add up how many hours of it you spent in Jaemin’s hoodie. Though, the atypical schedule meant that you didn’t really have to worry about that - you only ever ran into Jaemin on campus for friend group lunches, and those were canceled this week since half of you would be in the middle of finals during the usual span of time; so, Jaemin never had to find out that you were practically living in the very same hoodie you had tried so hard to give back originally. 

Come Saturday morning, that hoodie was packed with all of your other clothes in your suitcase, currently in the trunk of your car as you drive over to pick Jaemin up before heading to your house. He places his luggage next to yours before opening the passenger door and sliding in. “Hey, angel! Ready to pull all this off for your parents, too?” He asks with a devious smirk. You roll your eyes, trying to buy into the playfulness to forget about the dread filling your system at the idea of heading back home right now.

“Ready as I’ll ever be. Thank you again for agreeing to this,” you say seriously, and Jaemin looks at you as though you were crazy.

“Of course I’d agree to do this. Do you realize how much you’re doing for me?” He banters back, effectively getting you to laugh a bit as the tension in your shoulders drops. “Besides,” he continues more thoughtfully. “It’ll be nice to see our hometown again.” His words are much more mellow this time, and you look over at him with a sad grimace before shifting into drive and actually getting out on the road. 

As soon as Jaemin went to college, his family moved to Jeju Island, and for as often as the two of you talked about traveling there one day, it was much less exciting of an idea when it was already Jaemin’s home base and it’d just be you traveling to visit him. Even outside of that, you knew he missed the city - moving away from everything you know is only nice if it’s your choice, and moving to Jeju was definitely not his choice. 

It’s not like his relationship with his parents was impacted, though. He understood, and was very appreciative of the fact that they held out on the move until he graduated high school. Truly, if they were wanting to move, this was the time to do it. He’d graduate college and get his own place wherever he wanted; it’s just that now his place to go back to was Jeju rather than Seoul.

On the other hand, your family stayed put in the same house from childhood, but your relationship had gone through rough waters since you started college; something not even Jaemin knew, and now you were wondering how oblivious you could keep him of your current home-situation.

The verdict was ‘not very long.’ As soon as the two of you walked in your front door, your parents seemed shocked to be laying eyes on Jaemin with you. You push past them and towards your bedroom to put your stuff down, sending just a meek ‘hi’ their way. Jaemin watched you disappear with ample confusion, but his face quickly straightened up into a smile as he greeted your parents with hugs and gratitude for having him over. 

Your mom pulls back from the hug with a look of disbelief, shaking her head solemnly. “Jaemin, it’s wonderful to see you. I apologize for not having a space set up for you to stay. To be honest, when y/n said she was bringing a guest home, the last thing we were expecting was for it to be a guy,” she laughs off, and Jaemin’s eyebrows immediately furrow. Your own muscles tighten as you move to close your bedroom door, deciding that was already enough for you to hear. 

“Why?” Jaemin asks in return, trying to match the laugh from your mom, though his was half-hearted at best. 

Your mom shrugs it off like it’s nothing new. “Well, you know our y/n…doesn't exactly have a lot going for her-” 

“Y/n’s gorgeous, actually,” Jaemin cuts off with force, now taking a full step back from your mom and causing her hand to drop from where it was still at his forearm. “And sure, she has her guard up most of the time but that doesn’t change the fact that once she’s comfortable enough to be herself, she’s incredibly easy to love,” he continues, brows furrowed as he makes sure to get his point across. 

Your mom passes her gaze from Jaemin to her husband, taking a moment to exchange strange smiles with him before turning back to Jaemin. “Sorry, I seem to have offended you. I didn’t know you cared about my daughter that much.” She speaks every word as though she’s only half serious, and all it does is frustrate Jaemin even more. 

“Of course I care about her but that’s not even the point. You shouldn’t be saying that about your child and you used to know that, cause you never said anything like that when we were growing up. So, I don’t know what changed but I can tell you it wasn’t the worth of your daughter.” Setting all your stuff down, you open your bedroom door enough to catch his last sentence and immediately let out a heavy sigh, knowing you had to go out there and do something.

“Jaem?” You start, walking back out from the hallway. His face instantly changes from disgust to warmth as he snaps his head in your direction.

“Yeah, angel?” 

You nod your head back towards where you just came from. “My room is still the same one it’s always been. Since we’re apparently bunking together, if you want to go put your stuff in there so you’re not carrying it around throughout the house, you know where to go,” you say casually, trying to make it seem as though the sleeping arrangements were all you caught of his conversation with your mom.

Jaemin nods with a tight smile. “Alright, I’ll be back in a second,” he says, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head as he passes you in his walk to your room and you take his place with your parents in the living room. You and your mom both watch as your dad looks between the two of you before immediately leaving to go outside, shaking his head as he does so and leaving just you, your mom, and the suffocating tension in the room.

You drop your head to face the floor and your mom is the first one to speak. “I didn’t know he liked you,” she says plainly, eyes darting towards the room Jaemin was currently in before landing on you again, your head now whipped up to face her with raised brows.

“Didn’t know he liked me or didn’t think I was capable of having him like me?” You ask in return, and your mom falters for a moment.

“Y/n…” She starts, but you shake your head.

“Am I good enough now? Is this enough for you? That I brought an attractive guy home who cares about me? Are you even the tiniest bit proud of me now?” The fire in your eyes soon matches that of your mother’s, her disproving gaze that you knew so well baring into you.

“Y/n, that’s not fair and you know that,” she counters, her voice raising with every word.

Your jaw drops as you look at her in disbelief. “What’s not fair is you judging me by the man I do or do not have to hold my hand at any given time.” You’re thankful when the words come out firm; you’ve never stood up to her like this, and when your mom studies you with intensity, it’s as though she doesn’t know the woman in front of her this time. 

“Well,” she breathes out, bringing her gaze back to your own. “Being with him has apparently given you some confidence…or a voice, at least.” Her tone borders between indifference and slight disgust, and all you can do is shake your head, unsure of how your relationship with your mom ever turned into this.

“I refuse to believe that you find an issue in the fact that he makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world,” you say in almost a plea for her to tell you it’s not true, but she never does; instead, it’s just Jaemin’s breath hitching in the hallway that he tries to cover up so you wouldn’t know he was listening. When neither you nor your mom turn your heads towards him, he realizes he was still under the radar. So, he prepares himself to walk back into the living room as though he just got done putting everything away in yours.

When he gets back by your side, he lightly kisses your temple, turning to face your mom as he sneaks a hand to rest on the small of your back; your mom stares at the physical contact and you think her eye actually twitches. Jaemin opens his mouth to start casual conversation back up but your mom cuts him off before he can even begin. “Your father and I are going out for the day. We will be back to cook dinner,” she states, and your eyebrows furrow immediately.

“You haven’t seen Jaemin in years and you’re just gonna leave right when he gets here?” You ask in shock, and your mom glares back at you.

“Dinner,” she replies sharply, and then she’s out the door. 

Jaemin’s hand on your back begins to rub lightly up and down, and as you turn to bury your face in his chest, he wraps you in a full hug. “I’m sorry,” you mumble out, and Jaemin shakes his head. With one hand, he lightly guides your chin up so that you make eye contact with him, a soft smile on his face as he looks down at you. 

“Nothing to be sorry for, angel. It’s all okay. How about we just watch TV or something, go outside maybe…what’s gonna destress you?” He asks, his hand that was underneath your chin maneuvering to instead caress your cheek. 

You shrug, doing your best to dodge eye contact as you reply. “Anything in your presence,” you say seriously, missing the way warmth just reached every corner of Jaemin’s being at your words. 

“Okay,” he responds surely, and that’s how you found yourself walking the streets of your hometown, hand-in-hand with Na Jaemin. You visited his old house, the old playground, anywhere you could before the cold air finally caught up to you and you had to retreat back inside for some hot chocolate and more Harry Potter from your last unfinished rewatch session. 

Jaemin never brought up the obvious tension between you and your mom, something you were thankful for, but it also left you feeling guilty because you knew it was on his mind - the equation of where things went wrong between you and your mom after he left Seoul was continuously being worked out behind his eyes. When you explained this part of the fake-dating contract, he wasn’t expecting for your parents to actually be on your ass about not dating anyone, but stepping into this house was like a minefield, and any conversation around the topic turned into an explosion.

He wasn’t gonna make you talk about it though, you obviously weren’t ready to. Instead, he just wrapped his arms around you as best he could, making sure you and your cocoa were always kept warm throughout the duration of your latest movie marathon. 

Surprising you, when it was finally dinnertime, the atmosphere was lighter by the tiniest bit. Your parents were engaging with Jaemin, at least, and the presence of other long-time family friends put you at ease, too, because you knew a big fiasco is the last thing your parents would allow to happen in front of others. 

“Are you staying with us all of break?” Your mom asks as she puts her fork down and places all of her attention on Jaemin. He gives a sorry grin in return as he shakes his head.

“No,” he begins, and your face immediately drops, forcing you to take another bite so it’s less noticeable. “I was thinking I would surprise my parents. I haven’t seen them since the summer, and I figure that means it’s time to fly out and see them again,” he continues with a light laugh. “Though, when y/n asked me to come back with her for this dinner, I- well,” he drags off, taking a moment to turn and face you at his side, a fond smirk on his lips before he turns his head back to face his lap before you can notice. “I realize I’ve gotten incredibly bad at saying ‘no’ to her,” he finishes, his own light chuckle following his words.

Gazes soften all around the table as they listen to Jaemin, but you can’t bring your head up to look at him, sure the look in your eyes would give away how desperately you were wishing for those words to be real.

Your dad is the one to pick up the conversation again. “Well, we’ll be sad to see you go so soon, but it’s sure been a pleasure having you fill our house again,” he says with a tight nod that Jaemin reflects back to him, slightly softer in his perfect Jaemin way. 

That night, you and Jaemin went to bed before the rest of the adults did, but they had the advantage of alcohol to keep them occupied, and while that option was technically open to you and Jaemin, you both decided it would probably be best to stay under the label of ‘innocent youth’ with your parents and family friends.

You walk back into your bedroom after washing your face and putting on pajamas to see Jaemin already laying down. You trace his outline underneath the covers and sigh when you realize how little room was left in your full size bed. You slip under the covers and begin to turn on your side so you could take up the smallest space possible, but Jaemin evidently has other plans as he reaches over and pulls you so that you’re laying against his chest. “What are you doing?” You ask, propping your head up on his chest as you stare at him in confusion. 

He looks back at you as though there were no need for the question, his smirk playing lazily against his lips. “If you’re going to end up on top of me anyways, I’d rather just hold you there,” he replies, and all at once you’re vividly reminded of Halloween night. You don’t argue back, instead just rolling your eyes and resting your head back against his chest as you try to hide most of the blush on your cheeks. 

Jaemin idly draws shapes on your back as he watches you fall asleep on him. He swallows awkwardly, remembering what your mother said about you…what you said to your mother, and a kind of frustration fills his chest. He listens for any signal that you were still awake, and when he finds none, he presses the lightest kiss to the top of your head. “You’re so beautiful, y/n,” he whispers. His mortification comes when he feels you tense under his hold.

“You don’t have to pretend when it’s just us, you know,” you whisper back, and his heart breaks in his chest. His tone is firm as he replies, because if you were going to be awake to hear him say that, he might as well get his point across. 

“Some stuff I never had to pretend for. Some stuff is just a fact.”

You let out a heavy sigh, flipping which way your head was facing on his chest before speaking softly. “Go to bed, Jaemin,” you say, and he doesn’t quite know what to do with the feeling of defeat that arose knowing you don’t believe him. He thinks about saying more but he figures now is not the time for it…that in your friendship, it may not ever be the time for it. So, he lets out his own light sigh, his grip around you going slightly tighter as he gets to work on actually falling asleep. 

The next day, all you really had time for was breakfast before you had to drive Jaemin to the airport. As you pull up to the curb for departures, Jaemin doesn’t even think twice before leaning over the center console to press a soft kiss to your cheek. “Thank you for dropping me off,” he says sincerely amidst the rustling of him gathering his bags from various spaces of your car. You laugh as you open your own door, sliding around to the back of your car to pop the trunk and grab his suitcase.

“I’m coming inside with you, you know?” You tease lightly, missing the way Jaemin’s eyes soften at the care before he quickly vetoes your carrying of his luggage and rips his suitcase from your grip, causing you to laugh some more as you turn to face him now at your side. “But, of course, it was no problem,” you say genuinely, stepping inside the airport with him and too quickly facing the security checkpoint where you’d finally have to split. “Have a safe flight,” you continue, and with each word he’s now taking a step further than you dare to. “Tell your family I said ‘hi.’” 

Jaemin looks over his shoulder to smile back at you. “I will,” he promises firmly with a matching nod, and you throw a grin and final wave his way as he turns back to actually face where he was walking towards the entrance for security. As soon as you’re out of his line of sight, you allow your face to drop slightly alongside your gaze, letting out a light sigh at the feeling of him walking away from you. However, your attention is caught by the increasingly loud sound of heavy footsteps. You shift your gaze back in front of you to see Jaemin had changed his path and was instead heading straight for you again. 

“Jaemin-?” You question, but you’re cut off the second he gets close to you because he wastes no time in dropping his bags, cupping your cheek with his hand, and pressing a sure kiss to your lips. You melted right into it, something you would have to kick yourself for later, but at the present moment, all you could think about was his soft lips still lingering against yours.

“I’ll see you in a week, okay?” He says in a near-whisper. His words weren’t so much a statement as they were a reassurance, like he needed you to know that all you had to bear without him was a single week, like he intended to never leave you again once he came back. All you can do is swallow awkwardly, nodding as you look up at him through your lashes. 

“Yeah.” 

Jaemin’s gaze roamed over your entire figure as best it could with the two of you still in close proximity. You wanted to press up on your tiptoes and kiss him again for the hell of it, or maybe for the comfort of it, but Jaemin is the one to take action first, simply running his thumb gently across your cheek with a small smile before immediately turning to grab his bags and actually make his way through the security checkpoint. All you can do is stand and watch helplessly as he walks away from you. You’d see him in a week, sure, but then it’d be New Years before you knew it and all of this would slip right out of your hands…it practically already had. 

You were back at NCIT before Christmas, trading in family-time for time with Chenle, who was the only other one of your friends on campus for most of that duration. He tried to pretend that he needed to meet up with you to talk about plans for his New Year’s Eve party, but most of it was just excuses to hang out when he got lonely. One by one, the guys all made their way back to NCIT, Jaemin being the last to do so, coming in on the evening flight December 26th. 

You had brought Chenle with you to go pick him up, mainly because Chenle begged you to let him tag along. The two of you stood at the baggage claim for maybe fifteen minutes, Jaemin’s hoodie adorning your figure and providing you with comfort amidst Chenle’s constant nagging that you guys should have brought a sign saying that Jaemin was coming back from prison or something else more embarrassing. 

The baggage claim carousel had already begun spinning for Jaemin’s flight, and eventually even Chenle stops talking to instead join you in a frown as the two of you search for Jaemin. The verdict was that he must have just been the last person off the plane, because around five minutes later, you catch sight of his figure. “There he is- what’s he doing?” You ask confused as you look at Jaemin speed in your direction.

“Running towards you,” Chenle answers as if it were the most casual occurrence ever. He tosses his gaze over to you with raised eyebrows before continuing. “And I think you should probably start running towards him unless you’re prepared to catch his weight, cause I’m pretty sure he’s ready to jump on you.” 

Your eyes go wide at his words as you shake your head. “God, having a lunatic boyfriend is a lot of work,” you respond, feigning exhaustion. Chenle throws his arms up in defense.

“Hey, you chose him, not me,” he quips, making you smile before realizing you really had to start on your run towards him, because of all the things you were prepared for, catching Jaemin’s weight was not one of them.

You take off from where you and Chenle were standing, running up and meeting Jaemin somewhere in the middle as he lets go of his carry-on and puts his arms out for you. “Jaem!” You exclaim, jumping into his arms and wrapping around him like a koala.

“Angel!” He replies just as enthusiastically; hugging you tightly and spinning around once with the momentum.

“Chenle’s here so you have to kiss me,” you whisper in a rush, cupping his cheek with your hand as Jaemin steadies himself again.

He lets out a genuine laugh, catching your gaze with the brightest of smiles in his eyes. “Well, I wasn’t gonna run all this way towards you for nothing,” he says surely. Then he presses his lips to yours, and the resulting warmth in your body should’ve made the snow outside impossible. 

Jaemin breaks away from you when he feels a tug on his shirt sleeve, and the two of you turn to make eye contact with Chenle. “You’re being cringe now, can you please take me home?” He asks plainly, making you and Jaemin laugh as he puts you down on the solid ground again, slipping his hand in yours as the next best option. Then, after making sure Jaemin had all of his things, the three of you were on the road back to NCIT.  

The next day, Jaemin and the guys went out for lunch, one you weren’t invited to because it was one you “couldn’t know about.” Sitting around the table in a perfect reflection of the start of the semester, the guys around Jaemin all wore a mixture of looks on their faces, ranging from impressed to sulky…though that last one was only Chenle, who despite having the most money in the group, hated giving it out. 

Mark is the one to finally address the reason they were all there. “Well, you did it. I’m sure we don’t need to be the ones to tell you that you’ve been dating y/n for three whole months now,” he says with a light laugh. Jaemin can’t bring himself to join in on the smiles and playfulness around the table.

“I can’t believe it’s been three months already,” he says hollowly, but both his tone and the distant look in his eyes go unnoticed by his friends, their tunnel vision on their childish bet covering over Jaemin’s anguish at winning. 

“Here’s your $600,” Haechan says after having collected everyone’s shares from around the table. “Can't wait to have a new PS5 in our apartment,” he quips, but Jaemin whips his head up at him, grabbing the $600 from his hands defensively. 

“I’m not spending it on a PS5…” He begins, dragging off as the fire dies from his tone and he returns to a contemplative state of being. “I’m gonna buy y/n something nice.”

Gasps are heard from quite literally everyone else at the table, all of them looking at Jaemin with wide eyes. “Really?” Jeno asks in disbelief, and Jaemin makes passing eye contact with all of his friends, giving them all odd looks for being so caught off guard.

“Yes, really. She’s the best thing to ever happen to me, and I don’t know how to give her the world, but I can at least get her the best that $600 will buy,” he explains surely, and the rest of the guys all exchange glances with each other before turning back to him, Renjun being the one to take a jab this time through a hesitant laugh.

“Are we still talking to Na Jaemin?” He asks, making the rest of the guys laugh as well. Jaemin just lets out a sigh, finally able to find a bit of humor as well as he shakes his head, tucking the money away and turning the afternoon into a regular lunch hang out. 

Two days later, you get a call from Jaemin sometime after dinner.

“Angel?” He says softly once you pick up, his tone making you smile on the other end.

“Yeah, handsome?” You respond warmly. 

“Wanna go on a drive?” Jaemin asks, giving away no hints as to his current state of emotions, and your eyebrows furrow as you pry more.

“No destination?” You ask, and Jaemin shakes his head, not that you were able to see it anyways. His response is sharp.

“No.”

“Everything okay?” You question, the warmth in your tone turning into concern.

“Yeah,” Jaemin responds immediately. You let a beat pass in silence and it’s enough for Jaemin to want to fill it again on his own. “Just want some more time with you,” he explains shyly, and you let out a small breath of laughter as you oblige. 

“Let me get my shoes on.”

“I’ll be there to pick you up in five,” he replies firmly before immediately hanging up. 

True to his word, it only took five minutes before you’re opening the door to Jaemin. “Hey,” he says as soon as you make eye contact, leaning down to press a quick kiss to your cheek.

“Hey,” you reply, your face hurting as you try not to smile too widely at his actions. Jaemin wouldn’t have noticed if you did, though, because he immediately turns to face the floor sheepishly. 

“Sorry if you were in the middle of something,” he finally says, making you furrow your brows at him - this wasn’t a Jaemin you were used to.

“Nothing that couldn’t wait,” you assure him before prying some more. “What’s up?”

Jaemin pulls his bottom lip between his teeth as he shakes his head hesitantly. “Nothing. It’s just our last few days together. Figured we could hang out before you go off and get an actual boyfriend and I-” You watch as he fumbles for words, eventually giving up with a shrug as he finally makes eye contact with you again. “Go back to doing whatever it is I do.”

His answer doesn’t relieve you of any worry, and you move a hand up to cup his cheek as you tilt your head in study of him. “Are you sure you’re okay?” 

Jaemin nods his head slightly against your hand, a fond smile at your touch replacing the distant expression he previously held. “There’s just a lot on my mind. Nothing for you to worry about. Just wanted to hang out with you and kind of escape it all for a bit,” he explains casually, eventually bringing both hands up to guide your own back down from his face, idly playing with your fingers as he asks his next question. “Do you still like cloud watching?”

“You know I do,” you reply with a laugh, and Jaemin finally bares his teeth as he smiles back at you. He checks to make sure you actually did put your shoes on already before switching his grip so that he was just holding your hand as he walked the two of you to his truck.

You ended up at one of those nature parks, where the fields are preserved for fields-sake rather than playgrounds. The two of you got out and made your way around to the tailgate of his truck and you register that he already had blankets and pillows in the back, completely reminiscent of high school. 

You both sat in silence for a while, staring up at the sky and giving yourselves a chance to be at peace, at least somewhere away from the false sense of urgency that always seemed to be around. Eventually, you move your gaze from the clouds above to where your arms were wrapped around your knees, debating with yourself before finally breaking the silence.

“Jaem?” You call softly, and he turns all of his attention towards you.

“Yeah, angel?” He replies in much the same manner. You dart your tongue out to lick your lips, anything you could do to prolong your question - which you were currently thinking should’ve lost in your inner debate.

You finally let out a sigh, still focused in front of you as you talk. “You know you’re much more than the image you’ve picked up around campus, right?” 

Jaemin’s face immediately whips back to the front so there would be no chance of making eye contact with you. “Um…” He begins, but that was the only word he could come up with before forfeiting with an awkward swallow. You know that means it’s up to you to continue.

“I know that day I first met your friend group, you had to make up a ton of stuff on how we got together and everything, but I don’t know if you were necessarily lying when you were talking about how I deserve better than getting tied into your fuckboy image. I just- wanna make sure you know, in case that has ever been your thought process for anyone you’ve had a crush on, that there’s so many more sides to you than that. An image is an image, okay? Don’t let it get to you.” Your courage is built with every word and you finally turn to face Jaemin as you continue softly, surely. “They don’t know you like I do.”

Jaemin’s lips part with a heavy exhale before he rolls them inwards in hesitation. “Do you mean it?” He finally asks, and there’s just a trace of sadness riddling his voice.

“Of course I do,” you say firmly, and Jaemin takes in your answer with a slow nod.

“It’s been hard. I-” He grimaces before letting out an awkward laugh. “Oh, this is kind of weird to talk about with you,” he continues, making you laugh, too as the atmosphere lightens.

“Whatever,” you say, rolling your eyes playfully. “It’s me.”

Surprisingly, that seemed to do it, because the tension in Jaemin’s shoulders falls as he lets out a light sigh and finally finds his words for what seemed to be the first time that night. “I used to not care. If they wanted to label me as a fuckboy, that was fine. Truthfully, if I was getting my dick wet, I was good-” He cuts himself off at the sound of a slightly louder exhale than normal from you, and he whips his head your way with a pout. “Don’t laugh, I’m being vulnerable.”

You stare back at him with a fond smile on your face and raised brows. “I’m not laughing,” you assure, and Jaemin turns to face his knees again as he accepts your denial of the claim without a fight. Then he starts back up with his explanation, his tone heavy and contemplative.

“Lately though, I’ve just been thinking I want so much more out of life. But, I spent so long under the fuckboy label I didn’t know if I would ever be able to break free from it, if I could ever be more.”

Your gaze on him softens but your eyebrows furrow; there was something so weird about knowing he’s never viewed himself in the way you do. “Na Jaemin, you’ve always been more,” you respond firmly. The lightest of exhales escapes as laughter from Jaemin, and he lets a weak smile play at his lips before responding. 

“And you’ve always felt like home…” He says, matching your tone as he finally turns to look at you again. “That’s another thing I wasn’t lying about that day.” 

You immediately dodge eye contact, knowing it’d reveal to him in milliseconds your real emotions towards all of this…towards him. Probably against your better judgement as well, you lean into him at your side, resting your head against his shoulder. “For what it’s worth, I’ve had a nice three months with you,” you say, your own weak grin making an appearance.

“Yeah,” he agrees, wrapping his arm around you casually. “It hasn’t been too bad, has it?”

There it was, the reason you needed to snap out of it, because for Jaemin, it just wasn’t ‘too bad,’ and meanwhile you’ve been over the moon these past three months. You’d come to your senses eventually - remember that ‘breaking up’ was the plan all along, that the last thing Jaemin wanted was to be in an actual relationship, and that you were going to have to be as okay with that as ever. However, for now, you figured you’d just lean into him a bit more while you still can. 

The next day saw all eight of you at Chenle’s place, helping him decorate and prepare for the big party, and then it was New Year’s Eve. Only you and Jaemin knew that it was your last night together before the ‘break up;’ and neither of you knew that the other didn’t want it to ever end, meaning when you placed Jaemin’s hoodie in his backseat as a way to return it before the party, you didn’t know the idea of giving it back nauseated him possibly more than it did you. As such, the air was tense and awkward between the two of you, trying to keep hidden how devastated you knew you were going to be at the end of the night, and too dumb to realize the best thing you could do is talk about it. 

Hand-in-hand with Jaemin, the two of you join the rest of your friend group, already standing around in a circle somewhere on the outskirts of the set up dance floor. They greet the two of you with bright smiles, none of them plagued with the knowledge that their favorite relationship was ending tonight. However, with the eight of you chatting about anything imaginable, the night became incredibly casual, despite the overwhelming amount of people flooding in around you all.

Eventually, the group divides up, deciding a range of different activities sounded best for the time being. You ended up with Chenle and Jisung, the three of you indulging in the indoor s’mores kit that was set up. Jaemin never moved from where the big group of you originally were. Instead, he let the crowd all pass around him as he stayed focused on you, gaze aimed in your direction with a fond smile as he watched you interact with his friends.

The only thing to break him from his staring is when Mark taps him on the shoulder and hands him a cup of water. “Man, I hope you know you’ve turned into a completely different person,” he says as he does so, making Jaemin furrow his brows in question; though Mark shakes his head as though it were no big thing. “You got this glow about you that scares me, and the look in your eyes when you’re staring at her…I didn’t think I’d ever see that from you - you know, being so against relationships and everything,” he ends with a light laugh.

Jaemin drops his head, his own laugh escaping his lips. “It’s just what happens when you’ve found your person, I guess,” he replies seriously. “I mean, to me?” He begins, finally looking up at Mark in sincerity before throwing his gaze your way. “For her?” He shakes his head, his smile turning into a dumb grin on his face as he finally admits to what’s been on his mind for three months. “Everything’s worth it. All the risk, all the effort, I’d do anything for her.” He looks your way once more before his gaze turns distant and he lets a grimace slip across his features. “It just took being with her to make me realize…I want to believe in love,” he finally says, meeting Mark’s eyes once again. 

Mark’s smile was painted widely across his face, though he stared at his best friend in something like disbelief. “Want to believe it? Jaemin, you’re in it,” he says firmly, and Jaemin immediately lets his gaze fall to his feet as he lets out a heavy sigh.

“It’s less scary than I thought it’d be,” he finally says, and Mark’s smile turns fond as he gets a glimpse at how his best friend operates. He puts on his best voice of comfort as he replies.

“You said it yourself, it’s what happens when you’ve found your person. You should tell her,” he says, tossing his head in your direction casually, but Jaemin’s muscles tense up.

“No, I can’t,” he says in a rush, and Mark lets out a laugh.

“From the one who says he isn’t scared,” he teases, but Jaemin shakes his head - it wasn’t that.

“I- it’s a weird situation,” he says, letting out a huff with his bad explanation. “I can’t tell her. Not tonight, anyways…she won’t want to hear that from me,” he concludes, dragging off miserably. Mark’s face completely flips as he stares at Jaemin quizzically. 

“But- she looks at you the same way, you know?” He says surely, but Jaemin shakes his head again.

“No, that’s just how she looks at me. Even when we were in high school.” He takes a moment to pause, tongue darting out to wet his suddenly dry lips before continuing with conviction. “No, she doesn’t love me. Not like this,” he says, and then he’s walking away, leaving a very confused Mark standing there with parted lips.

“...I thought she’s liked you since high school,” he says under his breath now that he knew there was no way Jaemin would hear anyways. He looks between you and Jaemin before shaking his head - the last thing he needed on New Year’s Eve was to engage in overthinking.

You had just broken away from where you were talking with Chenle and Jisung to instead make your way over to the punch table. Grabbing yourself a glass, when arms wrap around you in a hug from behind, you know the only person it could be. “Hey, handsome,” you say with a smile, turning your head to the side to try and lay eyes on him.

“Hi, angel,” Jaemin replies, taking the opportunity to place a small kiss on your cheek before continuing. “Are we kissing at midnight or are we ending things before then? I’m not sure if you want to start the new year with me or not.” His tone borders on defeat, and you turn around in his arms to stare at him with raised eyebrows and a playful smirk.

“I’ll be your new year's kiss if you’ll be mine,” you reply, and Jaemin lets out a small chuckle. “Besides,” you continue more seriously. “Ending this doesn’t mean you aren’t still my best friend. You’ll be a part of my new year no matter what. We can kiss and just pretend that was our way to say ‘bye’ to dating, cause you know, I guess it will be.” For a moment that you always knew was coming, admitting its near occurrence now felt like you just had the wind knocked out of you. Jaemin just stares down at you with a wide grin, nodding his head along to your words in approval. 

“Alright best friend, then I’ll make sure to find you again before midnight,” he replies, the entire thing making you swallow awkwardly as you nod your head back at him slightly.

“Yeah…” You respond in something like a whisper, and with one light kiss on your forehead, Jaemin vanishes again into the crowd. 

The rest of the New Years party was a blast, no doubt, but the knowledge of what was coming, or more so ending, plagued your thoughts and eventually you just needed to slip away from the rest of the noise. You ended up on the balcony attached to some random bedroom, the cool air something of a relief for your current state.

The only pull back into reality was when the ever-present loudness turned into synchronized cheers, and you catch as the entire party starts counting down from fifteen seconds. You whip around to start on your rushed journey back inside, realizing you never told Jaemin where you would be; but as you turn, you make eye contact with him, just stepping onto the balcony himself, an easy smile crossing his features. “No need to rush. I told you I’d find you before midnight,” he says with a light laugh, and you drop your head with a small exhale as your own form of laughter. “Ready to say ‘bye’ to all this pretending?” He asks, stepping up to where he was directly in front of you.

No. “Yep,” you respond with the best fake smile you could. You already made it this far with no problems, you refused to let it slip that your heart was fully in this right when it was about to end. 

Jaemin matched your smile, and as the crowd’s counting reached the ‘3, 2, 1,’ his hand came up to find its favorite spot at your cheek again. Then he leaned in and kissed you right as the party erupted with cheers of ‘Happy New Year.’ 

Your hands gripped tightly at his shirt, keeping you steady and keeping him close to you; though he wasn’t necessarily going anywhere with one hand cupping your cheek and the other placed firmly on your waist. Unlike any of your other kisses, this one…lingered. The two of you kept steady pace with each other, you gently sucking on his bottom lip and figuring for as long as he’d let this go on, you would take it for all it was worth, trying to pretend you could ever kiss him enough for a lifetime. 

When you think he’s breaking away, you’re instead met with the feeling of his tongue running across your top lip, asking for permission - permission all too easily granted by you as you open your mouth to let him explore. Your New Year's kiss turned into a greedy make out session, which was probably the last thing you were expecting, but you couldn’t take the time to question it because you were too busy drowning in his taste. You loved the taste of Jaemin on your tongue, and his own soft moan - which he tried so desperately to cover up but that you still very much heard, let you know he was currently feeling the same way; and you’d mark that down as a tiny win in the midst of the huge loss you were about to incur. 

Against your better judgement, you finally break away when you truly couldn’t breathe anymore, and Jaemin rests his forehead against yours. The air was just filled with the sound of panting as the two of you tried to catch your breaths. You swallow awkwardly once you do, taking a small step back as you process what just happened, Jaemin’s hand running down your body until you were no longer in reach. “You’re awfully good at ‘goodbye,’” you say in between breaths.

Jaemin immediately dodges your gaze, facing somewhere off to the side as his adam's apple bobs up and down. “I’ve had a lot of practice,” he responds quietly, to the point where you were practically just reading his lips, and then he’s gone, leaving you alone on the balcony to deal with your flooding emotions on your own…not that you could do so in his presence anyways. 

You hated that it hurt this much - that a goodbye you knew was coming still seemed to blindside you. You had allowed your heart to indulge in his every romantic gesture, and while on the surface you knew they meant nothing, you held onto hope in some deep dark corner of your heart that maybe it wasn’t all just pretend; and yet here you were, grouped in with the vast category of girls he’s said ‘goodbye’ to in the way he knew all too well. You were his best friend but you were no one special, and you didn’t expect the resurgence of a fact that you already knew to affect you as much as it did - to make it feel as though you had been hollowed out, bones chilled from the empty space your soul used to occupy. 

You and Jaemin weren’t in contact the entire first day of the new year, though you couldn’t complain because talking to him right away was not something you figured your heart could handle. Instead, you went to work out at the gym and run errands and all those other things people do when they’re single and making a point to say they’re okay with that. To be fair, it kind of worked. Not that you were okay with whatever you and Jaemin had gotten yourselves into coming to an end, but that day of productivity and endorphin-inducing activity helped you ground yourself - these past three months were you helping out your best friend, that was all it was ever supposed to be. 

The next day was far less productive, but you were still functioning like normal. The only disruption from your typical daily routine came with a phone call from Haechan. As soon as you pick up, he starts speaking.

“Why did you go and break Jaemin’s heart all of the sudden?” He asks angrily.

You furrow your brows, though it wasn’t like he could see it anyways. “What do you mean? The breakup was mutual,” you counter in confusion, and Haechan lets out an actual ‘HA’ in disbelief before he replies with animosity.

“I need to know what the hell your definition of ‘mutual’ is because Jaemin hasn’t stopped crying for the past twenty-four hours.” 

You think he’s kidding, like this is one last stupid test of whether your relationship ever added up - but you shake the idea away, he already got the money, it was a week past three months, there wasn’t anything for you to mess up now, the story you’ve been telling would work as it always had. “Crying? What? We both agreed we worked better as friends,” you reply instantly, confusion adequately painting your voice. 

Haechan cannot believe his ears, and he makes sure to let you know so. For as much as you were confused, he didn’t understand why you were acting this way, ten fold. “No, I don’t believe you at all now. He wouldn’t agree on that. I don’t know how Jaemin talked to you, but he talked about you as though he’s never held anyone’s hand before until he held yours. Y/n, it was like you were the one to put every star in his night sky, I swear there’s no way this breakup was mutual.” Your whole world stops and you go speechless on the other end. Haechan was being dead serious, or else he wouldn’t be angry, he wouldn’t be pushing the subject. His words turn over and over again in your head. Jaemin talked about you, evidently when you weren’t around. You were fake-dating and yet Jaemin went out of his way to speak of you fondly to his friends. Jaemin, who never saw the point of getting romantically attached like that, doing more than what was needed in expressing his feelings about you. You push down the feeling of nausea and instead let out a deep sigh.

“I’ll be over in five minutes,” you say quietly, and then you hang up the phone before ever getting a reply from Haechan.

You race over to their apartment, and before you could even knock, Haechan is swinging the door open for you. The two of you make eye contact and about a million emotions pass between you, but it was easiest to pick up on the uncertainty. Haechan opens his mouth as if he’s about to bombard you with questions, or maybe yell at you again…you weren’t sure, but instead he just lets out a breath, nodding his head back in the direction of Jaemin’s room with a soft, “in there.” 

You throw a thankful smile his way, not that you were necessarily guessing at where Jaemin could be, but you were very grateful he was letting you off so easily. Even by looking at Haechan, you could tell Jaemin had truly been crying for the past twenty-four hours…Haechan looked exhausted. 

You lightly tap on the door of Jaemin’s room before entering, breath hitching as you lay eyes on his figure, curled up in a ball and clad in his favorite hoodie that you had given back - the hoodie he now knew you had lived in for the past few weeks because he already caught your own scent on it. Tears raced down his face, and he immediately turned away from you to hide them as he squeaked out choked words.

“Please go away,” he says, and reality hits you all at once. It wasn’t like you thought Haechan was lying, but now you truly had to face the fact that you were the cause of Jaemin’s tears; he wanted you to go away. 

“Jaemin, I’m not going anywhere,” you say softly, shaking your head to emphasize the point. Though, as you do so, your gaze catches onto a gift bag on his dresser, a label with your name written on it in his stupid perfect handwriting. 

You walk up to it, swallowing hesitantly as you turn your attention from the bag to Jaemin and back again. “What is this?” You finally ask. Jaemin shoots his gaze your way, not having previously realized what had caught your intrigue.

“Please don’t-” He rushes to say, but in the pause, you had already pulled out a diamond necklace, holding it gently between your shaking hands. You shake your head, eyes wide and jaw dropped as you’re unable to form a coherent thought. You turn back around to face him, your gaze darting every which way because you’re not sure you can confidently hold eye contact with him.

“Jaemin, what-? Why is this in a gift bag labeled for me-? When did you-?”

He cuts you off, visibly annoyed. “It’s what I used the bet money on. Now please go away,” he demands more firmly, but you wouldn’t be able to follow through on it even if you wanted to, because as you process his words, you lose the ability to move. 

“You spent the $600 on this?” You ask in disbelief, turning your attention fully towards him to try and find any cue that he was lying. “On me?” 

Jaemin turns his head to the side, and you watch as his adam’s apple bobs up and down with an awkward swallow. When he finally answers, his voice has lost its tension, his words instead coming out as though he were ashamed. “$700,” he corrects. “I didn’t want it to feel like I was just gifting you something from the guys.”

You think you’ve gone crazy, or maybe Jaemin has, but all you can do is stare at him in disbelief. “I-”

He quickly finds his fire again, apparently having had enough embarrassment for a lifetime in those few seconds. “Please leave,” he spits out. He dares look up to make eye contact with you before immediately regretting his decision and staring back down at his bed again, wiping more stray tears from his eyes as he fumbles out his next words. “You can take the necklace if you want but just- please leave.”

“Jaem-” You say softly before he can cut you off.

“What?!” He quips, though when he shoots his gaze back to you in irritation, he realizes you’re no longer standing at his dresser, but sitting at the edge of his bed with him. Your fingers barren of the necklace, you instead occupy one hand by placing it on top of his own.

“You could’ve told me you fell for me, too,” you say seriously, and Jaemin stops breathing for a moment as he looks up at you with wide teary eyes.

“Too?” He echoes weakly, and all you can do is give a tight smile, moving a hand up to wipe under his eyes as you try to hold back your own tears.

“I refuse to believe I played off my huge crush on you since high school that well.” You reply with a hoarse laugh.

Jaemin finally recovers his ability to breathe as he lets out a heavy exhale. “You like me?” He asks through tears, and you finally break, having to wipe your own stupid tears off your face before nodding at him with an embarrassed smile.

“I always have. Why do you think I made all those stupid rules to try and make sure we acted like a couple as little as possible?” A bittersweet laugh gets caught in your throat as you think back on it. “If I had to listen to you call me cute names all the time, I wouldn’t have survived knowing it was eventually going to end,” you continue seriously.

Jaemin’s finally able to let out a bashful smile and sorry laugh. “...I called you cute names all the time anyways.”

You nod your head with a fond smile. “I know.”

“I couldn’t help it,” he explains as more tears rush down his face, though this time, they’re at least sliding down next to an embarrassed grin. 

You look at him with playful raised eyebrows. “Just like how you couldn’t help it when you kissed me every time you saw me? Or looked over at me super fondly?”

Jaemin softens as his eyes trace over your figure, the distant look in his gaze letting you know his mind was rather preoccupied with reliving the past three months. “Exactly like that,” he says lowly, and you let out a breath, forcing your gaze away from Jaemin as you instead focus on the way your fingers were idly fidgeting with each other.

“God, Jaem. I’m sorry. I should’ve realized-” You speak apologetically but Jaemin cuts you off again.

“No, I should’ve communicated. Well…” He lets another soft laugh leave his system, the tears finally drying on his face as he works towards fully collecting himself. “I should’ve communicated when you knew I was serious.”

You smile at his words, shaking your head again as you relive every moment of the fake relationship. “I didn’t even know you had time to catch feelings for me,” you begin with something like wonder in your tone. “I mean- weren’t you still hooking up with-”

When Jaemin cuts you off this time, it’s with the most flustered of cheeks and the weakest of laughs. “Um, about that…the very first girl I hooked up with after we added that rule-” He shakes his head with a small smile as he corrects himself. “Well, I say that…she was also the last girl I hooked up with.” Your eyebrows furrow slightly as you process the information, but Jaemin doesn’t give you much time to do so before throwing in another wrench. “I uh- accidentally moaned your name.”

Your head whips in his direction, your wide eyes straining against your dropped jaw. “Jaemin! You did not!”

“Why would I make that up?!” He quips back with a hearty laugh. You move a hand over your gaping mouth, unsure at what exactly you were supposed to do with this news. You shake your head in disbelief.

“Oh my god, what did she do?” You ask, curiosity dripping from your voice. Jaemin bites on the inside of his cheek before giving in again with a light sigh.

“Well, we immediately stopped because we were both mortified, I think. She said something about how I obviously had to go figure some things out, to which I agreed, but for different reasons than she thought…” He drags off a bit but instead just shakes his head and goes in a different direction. “I practically begged her not to say anything about it, but she laughed and said I was crazy if I thought she was going to tell that story and humiliate herself,” he finishes with a small chuckle, and you just stare at him with no less shock than before.

“I can’t believe this,” you manage to get out playfully. 

Jaemin flashes his eyebrows in acknowledgement before his eyes light up and he rushes through more words. “Oh! The best part is, a week or so later, she saw us holding hands in public and texted me saying that she’s rooting for us,” he recalls with a shiteating grin. 

“Stop!” You get out, the idea of it damn near killing you. Though, before you can end up dying of laughter with Jaemin, another piece of information fits itself into the puzzle and you come back to your senses in seriousness.

“Wait wait wait,” you begin, focusing your gaze fully on Jaemin again. “So, you’ve been celibate for like…three months now?” You ask in shock. Jaemin isn’t even the tiniest bit regretful as he responds with a shrug, his sincere gaze meeting your own.

“I only wanted you. Wasn’t going to waste mine or anyone else’s time pretending any different.”

Your gaze softens immediately as a fond smile plays against your features. “Jaem…” You aren’t necessarily sure where you were going from there, but Jaemin picks it up anyways with a small shake of his head; his own weak smile making an appearance again as he recounts those first few moments.

“You kissed me that first day and I assumed I was fucked,” he explains casually. “Everything felt like it changed, and not because it was affection but because it was you.” His cheeks puff out again with a bigger grin as he continues. “Then I had that slip up and I knew I was fucked. Couldn’t get you out of my head for even a moment. It was starting to drive me crazy how much I wanted to make you happy.”

His eyes meet yours again as he finishes, and you search them for answers you knew you would have to ask for. “A good crazy?” You question hesitantly, but Jaemin is quick to shut down any worries.

“The best,” he assures, moving his hands so that he could interlace them with yours. He moves his gaze from your physical contact back up to your face before continuing seriously. “I love you, y/n.” 

You swallow hard, trying to not let any more tears run down your face, albeit happy tears weren’t so bad. You squeeze his hands in yours as you nod your head. “I love you, too.”

“Can we date for real?” He immediately asks, his wide pleading eyes making you chuckle.

“It’s been ‘for real’ for a while now,” you say warmly, but Jaemin shakes his head, not having it. 

“Yeah, but we’re currently broken up if you don’t remember. The entire reason you’re over here is because I couldn’t stop bawling my eyes out…which was the worst feeling in the world, by the way,” he banters back with a weak laugh. You let a grimace cross your face before pulling it into a fond smile. 

“Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll never break up with you again,” you assure him softly. Jaemin doesn’t hide his wide smile as he shifts himself so he can easily lean in and kiss you softly, resting his forehead against your own as he pulls back to smile against your lips.

“I’m holding you to it, angel.”

[luveline]

could you write bombshell!reader getting a tattoo of spencer’s name or something that reminds her of him and his reaction please?

“Why are you kissing me?” you mumble, your voice hoarse with sleep. 

They’re light kisses. “I’m going now,” Spencer says, matching your quiet tone. 

“No.” 

You wrap your arm behind his neck and feel his hair against your wrist. His nose and lips warm your jaw. 

“Yes.” He kisses your jaw. “I have to go, but I didn’t wanna leave without a kiss.” 

That’s really sweet, he’s so sweet, you’re so tired. “Please don’t go, Spencer.” 

“I have to go.” He readjusts your hugging to hum against your temple, distinctly content despite your pleading. “I’ll be back by six for dinner, promise.” 

“Promise,” you say.

You get to keep him for a few minutes, regardless. His neck must sing bent as he is over you but he doesn’t relent, doesn’t move until you encourage his face back to kiss just under his bottom lip. “Sorry, I’m making you late,” you whisper. 

“No, no, I accounted for this. You’re on my agenda.” 

“How much time did you allot?” you ask through a smile. 

“Seventeen minutes. That’s how long we usually hug in the morning.” 

“Gotta get that time down,” you say. 

“Or up.” He holds your face. You turn your head into his touch and keep him for just another half a minute. 

“Okay,” you mumble, letting your eyes flutter closed again, “you can leave, I’m gonna go back to sleep.” 

“Good idea.” He kisses you, and he says goodbye. You’re sleeping again before he’s even left your room

When you wake properly, you still feel loved, like a sunburn but with less stinging. There’s something very special about your boy; something permanent about the way he loves. You can’t imagine he’ll ever stop loving you like this, he’s embedded you so deeply into his life and his routines (and you’d beg him to keep you if he ever changed his mind). That in itself is crazy. You can’t have imagined begging a guy to let you stay, but for Spencer, you would.  

When he comes home that night, half an hour before six, you have no regrets. 

You hadn’t noticed how he was dressed when he left, but he looks lovely in just a simple t-shirt and jeans. Remarkably casual for him, you used to think he only wore t-shirts to bed, but the older he gets the better propensity he has for comfort. What makes it for you is the cardigan. 

“You look nice,” you praise, more than satisfied when the first thing he does after he takes off his shoes is lean down to hug you where you’re sitting on his couch. 

“Thank you.” He pats your back and pulls away. “You’re beautiful,” he says with ease, like he’s commenting on the weather. “Good day?” 

Your lips pucker into a twist. 

“What?” he asks. 

Unfortunately, he sounds deeply worried. 

“No, it’s nothing, I just hurt my arm. Can you have a look?” 

Spencer takes your arm. “What did you do?” he asks, pulling the sleeve of your shirt carefully up to your elbow. The Saran wrap confuses him, until it doesn’t, and he grins at your skin, before frowning again. His flickering emotions worry you, until he says, “Is that mine?” 

You hold your arm in the light. “Of course it’s yours?” 

It’s just a few words from a note he wrote you, perhaps too soon into your relationship for sweetness, and yet one you kept anyways. He told you the story of the I Love You lighthouse, or rather, the Minot Ledge lighthouse, and how the man who lived there had to live on a different island to his family while tending the lighthouse, so he would flash the light once, then four times, and then three times, one flash for every letter of each corresponding word: I love you. The note was left on your dresser. You’d slept together the night before, but he had to leave early. Nowadays he wakes you up, but  back then he’d been too shy. 

I want to be able to do that for you but I can’t find a lighthouse in D.C. that will let me in to try. I’ll keep looking. 

“I’ll keep looking,” Spencer reads. His thumb heistates just under your small font.

“It’s from that note you left me.”

“I know, I remember.” He does his awful frowny face where his eyelids lower and you're sure he’ll never smile again, he looks that upset. “You know this is permanent?”

“They do tend to be,” you say with a lovelorn sigh. 

“I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should kiss you, or hug you, or… I don’t know why you’d do this.”

“But it’s okay?” you ask. It could make for a very awkward conversation if he doesn't like it.

“It’s perfect.” He holds your gaze. “You’re perfect.”

He acts like your tattoo is a gaping wound as he moves in to hug you, careful of your new ink, but relentless in the tightness of his arms behind your back. You laugh, then squeal at his insistence, a giggly girly thing that nobody else should ever hear but him. He doesn’t make fun of you, just squeezes you to him, his face pressed so hard to yours you can feel his cheekbones. 

“Now I just have to say something romantic for you to get tattooed and we’ll be equal again.’

“So we aren’t equal?”

“Um, no way.” Your laugh is self-satisfied and breathless. You turn your lips to his cheek. “I love you. I’m gonna build you a lighthouse.”

“Can’t believe you kept that note.”

“I have a whole shoebox of them. I love that you write them.”

He stops holding himself up, half on the couch and half in your lap as he hugs you with every bit of strength in his arms.

[dice-wizard]

Okay writers listen up

I'm gonna tell you about how I wrangled my shitbird brain into being a terrifying word-churning engine and have written over 170K words in under a year.

I wanna be clear that before unlocking this Secret Technique I was a victim of my unmedicated ADHD, able to start but never finish, able to ideate but not commit and I truly and firmly believed that I'd never write a novel and such a thing was simply outside of my reach.

Now I write (and read!!) every day. Every. Single. Day. Like some kind of scriptorial One Punch Man.

Step the First

Remove friction between yourself and writing.

I personally figured out how to comfortably write on my phone which meant I didn't have to struggle with the insurmountable task of opening my laptop.

I don't care if this means you write in a Discord server you set up for yourself, but fucking do it. Literally whatever makes you write!

(if you do write somewhere that isn't a word processor PLEASE back your work up regularly!)

Step the Second

Make that shit a habit. Write every day.

For me, I allow myself the grace that ANY progress on writing counts. One sentence? Legal. Five thousand furious hyperfixated words? Also legal.

Every day, make progress. Any progress.

I deleted Twitter from my phone and did my best to replace doomscrolling with writing. If I caught myself idly scrolling I'd close whatever I was looking at and open my draft and write one (1) sentence until I made THAT a habit, too.

Step Two-point-Five

DO NOT REWRITE. If you are creating a first draft, don't back up or restart. Continous forward motion. Second drafts and editors exist. Firsts are for ripping the fucking thing out of your brain.

If you're working on revisions after an editor or beta readers or whoever has given you feedback, then you can rewrite that's OK (and it counts as your writing for the day!)

Step the Third

Now that you've found a comfortable way to write and are doing it every day, don't stop. Keep doing it. Remember, just one sentence is all you need. You can always do more, but if one lousy sentence is all you can manage then you're still successfully writing.

Remember: this is what worked for me. Try things until you find what works for you.

You can do it. I believe in you.

[pinkslavicdoll]

𝓑𝓮𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓓𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓶 𝓖𝓲𝓻𝓵

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

everyone has their own definition of a dream girl - a girl who is simply everything we want or everything we want to be. i strongly believe that discipline and the law of assumption can help anyone become their own version of a dream girl. so why not just manifest that into your reality?

start by figuring out exactly what it means to be a dream girl to you.

what's her name? what does she do for a living? how much money does she make? what about her education? where does she live? what does she look like? what does her body look like? what kind of clothes does she wear? what kind of person is she? what does her morning routine look like? what does her day look like? what does her night routine look like? what are her hobbies and interests? how does she see the world and other people? how do other people see her? what are her goals in life? what kind of people does she surround herself with? what does she do in her free time?

now the most important thing is to answer those questions like you're talking about yourself. not "she is..." but "i am...". i suggest you write it down somewhere just so you can come back to it whenever you need it.

answer those questions and add whatever details you want your dream girl to have. please remember that this is the version of a girl who is perfect to YOU. don't feel like your answers have to be something that other people consider perfect, just describe the version of yourself who is truly happy with her life.

now that you know what a dream girl is to you, tell yourself that you are that girl. i don't wanna hear any "oh but she's rich and i'm not" or "oh but she's this and that and i'm not". no! she is you and you are her. if you can imagine it you can have it. think about what your life would look like if you were that girl. daydream, make plans, journal, create vision boards, do whatever that helps you be in the dream girl state. you are your dream girl, that's it. you look like her, you talk like her, you walk like her, you are her. no matter what shows up in your reality, that doesn't matter, you're becoming your dream girl and nothing and no one can stop you.

something that will definitely help with that is doing the things on your list that are possible for you right now. if your dream girl wakes up early and you know that it's possible for you then start waking up early as well. if your dream girl does yoga and you have enough time and are physically able to do it, start doing yoga. you don't have to start with extremely expensive products and routines, just whatever is possible for you right now. do whatever will help you stay in that state and the rest will simply come to you :)

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[somethingthing]

Head Scratches

Dean Winchester x fem!reader

Warnings: slight sexual indications, tiny bit of angst if you squint, other than that, FLUFF

Word Count: ~900

A/N: I’ve literally forgotten how to write but I wanna start again so i apologize for any mistakes and feedback is always welcome!!

Hope you enjoy!

It was a quiet evening, in fact the whole day had been quiet. Your last hunt had drained all of you, making you come to the decision to not go looking for your next.

Dean had protested at first. Not wanting to waste anytime in finding the yellow-eyed demon, yet here he was. Laying with his head in your lap on the dusty sofa in the corner of the even dustier motel room you´d all taken into for the night.

"You know, one of these days we have to splurge just a little bit. Get a proper hotel room, or at least a room that doesn't make me sneeze every five minutes." you said mindlessly as one of your hands ran through his short hair. When you didn´t get an answer you stopped for a second and looked down at him. His eyes were shut. "You´re not falling asleep on me, are you? Sam will be back with some food soon" you stated.

Dean gave out a small huff "Why´d you stop?" One of his hands reached up behind his head, fumbling to find yours, he took it and firmly tangled your fingers back into his hair again "Please do continue sweetheart" eyes still closed.

You smiled softly, not being able to deny how much you enjoyed the nickname "For someone who was so determined to not take a quiet day in, you seem to be enjoying it an awful lot" you giggled out.

"How couldn´t I?" he slowly opened his eyes to look at you, letting a sly grin grace his lips "I´m in company of an very hot woman who continues to stroke my head when i tell her too" he wiggled his eyebrows at you, flashing an even bigger grin.

You rolled your eyes at him "Ha ha very funny" you slapped his chest gently "I´m staring to wonder if this head," tapping your fingers against his forehead "actually does any thinking, and not just the other one" you let your eyes dart to the lower half of his body.

"Not when you´re around sweetheart" he closed his eyes again with a content sight "The not so little, little man down there is perfectly capable of thinking on his own" he said, a bit too proud of himself.

"Jerk" was all you got out, trying keep the heat on your face from rising. You and Dean were something, a thing as Sam would call it, and yeah, maybe you were, but nothing ever really happened.

He´d flirt, you´d respond with something equally as flirty or do your best to try and sound grossed out. Other than that, nothing happened. You didn’t really know what you felt, you liked him, really liked him, but then what? Both your lives where chaos, always on the move, putting your lives on the line almost daily.

Too deep in thought you hadn´t noticed Dean staring at you, nudging you slightly "Hey," snapped out of it you looked down at him "what´s up? That wasn´t too far was it?" he looked at you, slightly concerned.

Still slightly out of it you shook your head "What?" his words slowly coming into your mind "No... no it´s..." you didn´t know how to phrase it, so you just blurred it out "What are we?" Dean opened his mouth and closed it again, you held your breath, anxious for his answer.

At last, he sat up and turned around to face you, cornering you at the edge of the couch, between him and the armrest "Can´t say i haven't thought about it, with my brain, mind you" you couldn´t help but to giggle a bit, letting go of some of the anxiety gnawing at you "I´ve never lied to you, every little flirty comment have been true, i really do like you" your eyes darted to his lips for a second.

"I- I like you too" you felt like a teenager with a crush, all warm and giddy, confused what to do with yourself "I really, really do, but our lives, not knowing what happens next, not-" you were cut off.

He scooched closer, propping his arm up on the back rest of the couch, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear "We´ll never know what´s gonna happen next, even in a normal life we wouldn´t" now it was his turn, letting his eyes rest of your lips for a moment "Question is, what do you want to happen next?" his eyes met yours again.

You didn´t even think about it "This" was all you said before your lips found his. It was slow, almost shy, until Dean cupped your face in his hands and deepened the kiss. It was still soft but more passionate, urgent.

The qlick of the lock on the door made you break away, sucking in air sharply. You shifted slightly just in time for Sam to open the door "Food delive-" he stopped in his tracks, giving you and Dean a funny look "Did I interrupt something?"

"Yes!" "No!" Dean and you exclaimed. Sam looked between the two of you and shook his head "I´ll just, uhm, I´ll just set the food up" he spun around awkwardly.

You looked at Dean, feeling like a deer in headlights "What now?" you whispered anxiously.

He looked at you for a moment, leaned forward and gave you one last kiss, letting his face stay close to yours "We table this for later`" he gave you a smirk and a wink as he licked his lips "All this touchy feely has made me starving" he joked and stood up, reaching his hand out the pull you up.

He pulled you up faster then you had expected, making you come crashing into his chest "But take out isn´t really what I´m hungry for" he smirked before turning a round, dragging you to the dinner table with a heat rising on you face and traveling elsewhere.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Am I back?? Who knows? Might disappear for a year again hah. But thank you for reading and I really do hope I get my writing motivation back cause it’s was fun<333

[allywthsr]

FIGHTING BIRTHDAY | (l.norris)

summary: Lando drinks too much and it gets out of hand, the birthday boy is angry at you

wordcount: 6.3k words

pairing: landonorris x fem!reader

warnings: ANGST!, vomiting, being drunk

notes: please let me know if it’s gut wrenching angst, I never feel the angst if I write it. Requested by anon! Thank you for your request, let me know if it’s how you wanted it :)

I hope Lando is okay, that crash was scary!

”Lando, maybe you should slow down with the drinks.“

You were at the birthday party you arranged for Lando, and he was already peppered. He was barely able to stand, his words were just slurs and his mood changed from funny and happy Lando to angry and annoyed Lando. A couple of drinks made Lando a really funny person, when his world started to spin, he got less funny and more agitated and when he was piss drunk, he got angry at anyone, no matter what you would do or who you were. Of course, he was supposed to enjoy his birthday and of course, he could drink how much he wanted but you were scared of what would happen once he reached that piss-drunk stage again. Last time he screamed at you when you wanted to take him home and you didn’t need a redo of it.

Currently, he was at the world spinning stage, but on the edge to piss drunk, so you tried to keep him sane and stop him from drinking so much, or maybe have a water and a snack in between.

”Oh come on Y/N, you only turn twenty-four once, let me enjoy it.“

”Of course, but maybe you should have a water.“

”Where am I? At a race or at a party? Don’t be such a party pooper and let me have fun drinking, I can handle it.“

So you gave him a smile and wandered off to join your friends again, the friends being the driver’s girlfriends. One more drink and he would pass the piss drunk stage and you were scared of it, you weren’t ready to argue over nothing tonight, especially because you’re not sober either, but you knew your limits and you wouldn’t be so angry at someone, no matter how much you drank. So when you saw him downing his glass after you left him, slightly giving you the side eye, Max came and gave him another glass of something strong and they both clinked their glasses together, and Lando took a big gulp of the beverage.

You sighed and Pietra looked at you.

”Is everything okay?“

”Yeah, Lando is drunk again, but I can handle him.“

”Are you sure? Maybe Max can bring him home tonight.“

”No, don’t worry. He‘s my boyfriend, he won’t do anything. And Max is just as drunk as he is.“

After a few minutes, Max and Lando came over, just by the look in Lando’s eyes you could see that he wasn’t on this earth anymore, but somewhere in his drunken mind. Max had to hold Lando up and looked at you with a pleading look, you knew what to do, so you got up and got to Lando’s side. You linked under his arms and walked with him to the bar, ordering two waters, you sat him down on the barstool and tried to get him to drink it.

”Lando, come on. Drink this for me.“

”Wh… s‘thats?“

You knew if you told him it was water, he wouldn’t drink it, so you had to come up with some lies.

”It’s pure vodka, I have one too! Let’s see who can down it first? The winner gets to drink the glass of the other.“

You lifted the other glass, but it wasn’t meant for you, it was also meant for him, maybe this race thing made him drink it.

”Su..re.“

So he lifted the glass to his lips, just as you did and he gulped it down, while you took tiny sips of yours.

”Won!“

”Yes Lando, you beat me! You wanna have mine?“

He only nodded and grabbed your glass and downed it too. Good. At least there is some water in him now. He looked at the guy behind the bar and yelled: ”Can I have something strong?“ or at least he tried, it all sounded like gibberish, but the guy understood and was about to start working on making him a drink but you lifted your hand towards him.

”Hey Lando, look! Max is dancing silly.“

While you held onto his sleeve, so he wouldn’t fall while turning around you talked to the guy.

”Listen, can you just pretend to make him something and can it be a water with some coke, so he thinks he‘s drinking some coke mixture? He‘s had enough.“

The bartender nodded and got to work, while Lando was crackling beside you, apparently, he saw something funny, but when you looked around you saw nothing but his friends dancing normally. He was a completely different person when he was drunk.

When he turned around again, the bartender just put the glass of water with a spritz of coke on the surface. With a bright grin, Lando took it in his hand and took a big sip. This guy was trying to blackout or something.

”Babe… toilet… pee.“

He tried to point to the toilets but pointed in a completely different direction, so you got up and pulled on his T-shirt to get him to stand up too, you had to carry him to the toilets and waited in front of his stall for him to finish his business, but when you heard him gag, you pushed open the door and saw a kneeling Lando.

”Shit Lando, why didn’t you say anything.“

You sat next to him and stroked his back while he emptied his stomach. To be honest? You were happy he was puking right now, at least he would be a little more sober afterwards. When he was finished, you lifted him back up and checked for any spills on his T-shirt, but luckily there weren’t any and he only went to the sink to wash his hands and his mouth. You both went back to the lounge and sat down, you held his drink out to him and he took it, carefully sipping the drink. He looked at you and his eyes looked a little clearer now, but what happened next, was something you kinda saw coming but kinda didn’t.

”Is this.. water?“

”No, look, it’s a really heavy mixture, the coke is almost see-through.“

”Y/N, I know water when I taste it, why are you trying to give me such bullshit.“

”Because you’re drunk, and you should slow down.“

”Who are you to tell me what to do, huh?“

”Someone who doesn’t like your drunk side.“

”Then maybe you shouldn’t be with me“, before you could say or do anything else, he got up and left the lounge, getting lost in the crowd.

Now his birthday was ruined, at least for you. You loved birthdays from family and friends, especially Lando’s, you had planned this day for weeks, organizing everything, down to the last detail and now you sat in the lounge, waiting for it to end. You were mad but mostly sad, you just hoped he would slow down on alcohol and sober up, but you knew it wouldn’t happen.

Every now and then a girlfriend of drivers and friends would show up and talk to you, but you mostly sat by yourself in the lounge, waiting for Lando to come back and apologize. You tried to spot Lando in the crowd, but it was impossible, the club was packed with friends and family of his, and because of the flickering light, they all kind of looked the same.

When Max joined you, you knew it was bad.

”Y/N… I hate to say it, but… I‘m drunk.“

You chuckled.

”I know Maxie, where’s P?“

”I..I don’t know, lost her a while ago, probably dancing really sexy somewhere.“

”Then why are you here, shouldn’t you be dancing with her?“

”No.. Lando is piss drunk and people are leaving… he won’t drink water.“

”I know, but we will leave soon, don’t worry.“

”But he is… rude, make him.. uhm nice again.“

”He‘s rude to me too, tomorrow he‘ll be fine.“

Suddenly Max got up.

”Come on.. I‘ll bring you to Bob.“

You thought it was funny how he slurred his words, due to him being drunk, he probably thought he was saying things perfectly fine but it wasn’t the case.

He held out his hand for you to take and you did, when you also stood and Max started walking, he was swaying from side to side, no longer being able to walk straight anymore. Hand in hand you walked with Max to where you assumed was Lando, he was sitting at the bar. Sitting wasn’t the right word, he was more like hanging over the bar, it didn’t even look comfortable. The club was almost empty now, a few drunk people were dancing or sitting at the bar as well, but it emptied quickly. Lando turned around and saw Max and you, his features darkened rapidly, oh oh. You immediately let go of Max‘s hand and patted his arm, walking the last few meters to Lando by yourself.

”Should we go home?“

”You…. NO!“

His loud scream scared you, and some people turned to see what was going on.

”Lan, come on, you’re causing a scene.“

”I.. am? You’re with Max.“

”He only brought me to you, because I couldn’t find you. Come on, let’s go outside“, but he only turned around and looked towards the bartender again.

”Another!“, and he pointed to his still full glass.

”Man, I think you should slow down.“

”You don’t tell me what to do! You do your job.“

You decided it was enough, this was a poor bartender who could run to the next tabloid and talk about how bad Lando Norris is.

With one last step, you stood directly next to him and grabbed under his arms, to pull him up. He was wonky on his feet and grabbed your waist when he was about to fall.

”You’re a bad bartender… Y/N, tell him to make me another drink!“

”You’re next drink is outside, let’s go yeah?“

Lando nodded and you looked at the bartender, who was looking shocked and you muttered a quiet ’Sorry‘ before walking with Lando out of the club.

”Where’s the drink?“

”At the hotel, should we go there?“

”You set me up!“

”What? No! If you want you can have a drink there, but I’m tired and you should sleep soon too. It’s almost five am, Lando please.“

”You’re a bitch!“

A few people were standing outside, waiting for a cab or smoking, they all looked at Lando and were shocked about his behavior, just like you. Tears were forming in your eyes, but you could hold them back, you didn’t want to cry in front of his friends. You had a few fights when he was drunk but he never called you a bitch before.

”Excuse me?“

”That’s what you are! There’s no drink, you lied to me. I want a drink, I‘m going back in.“

”Lando, no! Please.“

Now he got closer to you, standing right before you and he was angry. He was pointing fingers at you, ”You’re a bitchy bitch, let me have fun on my birthday, but no! Y/N is coming to ruin the day, as always. I‘m not allowed to have fun, not even on my birthday. You’re the meanest person ever, my party is in full swing and you’re moping because I‘m having fun“, you tried to push him away, to distance yourself a little, you didn’t want him to come any closer, not in this state.

”The Party is over, Lando. Let’s go back to the hotel, please.“

But he ignored you and walked back in, with a big sigh, you leaned against the wall and waited a few minutes. You needed to calm down too, being called a bitch by the human you loved most, hurt, it hurt like a bitch. Hah, pun, because of bitch..

You knew he was drunk, but it wasn’t really an excuse, he shouldn’t think about you like that, even when drunk. After a few minutes, you went back in for the hunt for Lando. He was probably sitting somewhere at the bar and that was where you first went.

He was slouched, again, and you had no energy left to fight with him.

”I‘m going back to the hotel, I don’t care if you sit here for the rest of the week or if you come with me. I won’t come and get you in a few minutes when you decide I’m right.“

Of course, you cared if he came back, but you knew this would make him come with you faster, he was like a little child.

”Fine! But only if I get another drink.“

With a sigh you nodded and looked at the bartender, it was the same one, that did the waters for you earlier, he knew what to do, mix water with some random sirup and act like it’s alcohol. The orange-looking drink was downed by Lando and he said nothing, he got up and forcefully grabbed your arm to stabilize himself.

”Ouch.. Lando, you’re hurting me.“

But he didn’t do anything and just started walking towards the entrance.

”Lando, loosen your grip, it really hurts.“

”Shut up, I don’t care.“

Now your eyes were filling with tears, this wasn’t the Lando you knew and loved, he was some other person that you didn’t like. Your arm was hurting but you carried him outside, and when he was leaning against the wall he let go of your arm. You were sure it would leave a bruise.

You waited five minutes for a cab and both of you got in, once it stopped, you told the driver the address and he started driving, during that drive, Lando tried to touch you on your thigh, getting closer to your private area, but you weren’t in the mood. You pushed his hands away and he pouted, trying it again just a few seconds later. You gave him a stern look, but he didn’t care, he kept on doing what he was doing and you endured it. You weren’t ashamed or disgusted by his touch, but you weren’t feeling it. In his drunk mind, he didn’t get it, so he continued. The drive was only ten minutes long, so when you got out and carried Lando up to the room, you were ready for some peace, but luck wasn’t on your side today.

Lando was trying to kiss you and when you turned your head away for the fourth time, he was ready to fight.

”What is your fucking problem?“

”I don’t want to have sex right now, I’m not in the mood.“

”But I am!“

”Go and take a shower or something.“

”Not only are you a bitch, but a boring girl too! You won’t even have sex with me, what kind of girlfriend does that?“

”Lando, please, calm down. Take a deep breath and go to sleep, we‘ll talk about it in the morning.“

”I don’t want to take any of your fucking breathes, they’re useless, just like you. You can’t even pleasure me.“

You tried to stay calm and don’t let the words get to you, but they hit a spot and tears were slowly escaping your eyes.

”Look at you! You’re crying because you can’t take the truth, I’d rather fuck an oompaloompa instead of you.“

You turned around and walked away from him, you tried to get to the bathroom and lock yourself in, give him time to cool down, but he was faster.

”You do not run away from me when I‘m talking.“

”Lando, who are you? My Lando wouldn’t talk to me like that.“

”Your Lando grew tired of you.“

”Just go to sleep, I know you don’t mean any of these things you’re saying right now.“

He scoffed and sat down on the bed, at least something. You quickly changed in the bathroom and removed your makeup, you didn’t do the full skincare routine, you were tired, psychically but mostly mentally. When you came out of the bathroom, Lando was also changed, well, he removed his clothing and was only wearing his boxershorts. On a normal occasion, you would jump his bones and things would get steamy but today, you wanted to be as far away from him as possible.

You sat down on your side of the bed and sighed, this was a night to forget.

”Don’t sigh that loud, the party was your idea. If you can’t handle me drunk, then don’t organize a fucking party for me.“

”I wanted to be nice and organize something you like. Because all of a sudden, you meet these new people and you love parties, just four years ago, you told me how much you hated going out and rather stay in with me.“

”People change, you’re just acting out because you don’t want to see me happy.“

”I want to see you happy! But are you only happy when you’re drunk and partying?“

”You don’t make me happy anymore, so yes.“

Wow, you knew he was angry and this was the anger speaking out of him. He wanted to hurt you and he knew how he could.

”Lando, I don’t think you know what you are saying right now, so it’s better if you sleep and we talk tomorrow.“

”You’re just scared that I‘ll break up with you because without me, you would be a nobody. You wouldn’t have the luxurious life you have now.“

Now you sighed and looked at your fingers, this was a big insecurity of yours. He was right, without him you would still be in your boring job and stuck in your old life, but you liked your new job at quadrant, the traveling you get to do with

Lando and seeing new places all over the world. The idea that Lando could break up with you, was something you carried around every day.

”You don’t even have an answer to that, do you? Because I‘m right.“

”Lando please, you’re hurting me, you’re very mean right now.“

You felt as if you were discussing with a thirteen-year-old teenager.

”You were mean earlier when you brought me water.“

”I only want the best for you, can’t you see that?“

”If you would truly love me, you wouldn’t have given me water.“

”I love you so much! Don’t ever doubt that, but I just wanted you to remember the night.“

He completely ignored your comment and kept going.

”Maybe I should find a new girlfriend, that wouldn’t betray me like that.“

God, you couldn’t believe he was saying such things only because of some water, but he was piss drunk and probably didn’t even know the love he normally felt for you.

”I can just look through my DMs, you have no idea how many girls write me every day.“

He was hitting all of your spots and he knew it, you didn’t know if his drunk mind was trying to get you back for the water, or if he actually meant it, drunk words, sober thoughts, right?

You got up and got dressed again, you couldn’t endure his words anymore, you had to leave for the night, and give him time to cool down.

”What are you doing?“

”I‘m going to sleep somewhere else, you’re hurting me and you said it yourself, when I ever feel like I’m not welcome somewhere, I don’t have to feel the need to stay - so I’m not staying.“

”So you’re leaving me?“

”Only for the night.“

You gathered new clothes and your toiletries before packing everything in your backpack.

”I‘ll get a new room or something, you sober up and maybe think about your actions. I‘ll be back at some point.“

”Pathetic, you’re running away from me.“

”I‘m not runni-“

”And to think that I was going to propose to you soon, I‘m so happy you showed me your true colors.“

Your heart sunk, a proposal? It made sense, you‘ve been together for years, and everything went well, normally. You two were in love.

”Lando please, it’s only about a water, you’re acting like I cheated.“

He sat up and glared at you, ”It feels like it, you cheated on me when you gave me that water. It was my birthday, I‘m supposed to enjoy that, not drinking water.“

”We’re running around in circles, I’m leaving and you get back to me when you’re sober and know what you’re talking about.“

”I wouldn’t have thought that you would ever run away from me.“

”I‘m giving us space before we say things we don’t mean, or I say things I don’t mean, you already said things.“

”Only true things.“

Without another word, you grabbed your backpack and put it on back, walking towards the door, giving the room one last glance, to see if you collected everything for the night.

”Lay on your side at least, I don’t want you to choke on your own vomit“, even when he said such mean things to you, you still cared.

”I wish I‘d never asked you to be my girlfriend, then I would’ve fucked a random girl into oblivion and I wouldn’t have blue balls right now. In fact, I wish I‘d never even met you, I‘d have a more stress-free life.“

Before he could say anything else, you opened the door and rushed through it. These words were hurting you badly, did he mean them? Without trying to think about it, you made your way down to the reception to ask for a room, and luckily they had one available in that you could move in right away. The receptionist did look at you weirdly and asked if she could help, but you declined and only said you just needed a new room.

When you moved in and laid on the bed, all you could think about was the words Lando said to you, what if it was true? What if you‘d never met Lando, maybe he’d be happier now, not angry at you for giving you water. It’s stupid, because of a damn water. You were sure if he had drunk any more alcohol, he would be black-out drunk right now, maybe that would’ve been better than trying to get him to sober up. There was no right or wrong here, you just hoped he was back to normal when he woke up. If he felt sorry he definitely had to do better than just apologizing, but you needed time, a lot of time. Being called a bitch by your boyfriend wasn’t something that was okay in any way. You were scared of what the day would bring after you woke up, either he would understand his mistakes or both of you would be single.

You tried to fall asleep, but your thoughts drifted back to Lando, was he sleeping? Was he vomiting? Hopefully, he didn’t vomit in his sleep and choked on it. You watched some Netflix and while doing that, you finally fell asleep.

The next morning you woke up in a cold bed, the bed always felt cold without Lando in it, and with all the things he said to you, you still missed him. Your phone was pinging with messages and they were from Lando and some of your friends. First, you looked at Lando’s and saw what he had to say.

When he was trying to call you, you thought about answering, but you wanted to let him cook a little longer. Maybe it was selfish, but you wanted him to hurt a little too, all the ugly things he said to you weren’t something lightly, and even because he was drunk, it wasn’t something you should use as an excuse.

Next, you looked at your friends‘ texts.

Shit. You didn’t know there were pictures taken, so not only did you have the situation with Lando, but now it was public and you seemed like the bad guy, when you did nothing wrong, you only gave him water to sober up.

But eventually, you couldn’t contain your anger towards him and you were scared of the conversation, after an hour of ignoring his texts and calls, you got ready and gathered your things before going to your old room. You unlocked the door and Lando stood in the room.

”Y/N! Where have you been? I was super worried,“ he ran to hug you, but you didn’t hug him back, you only stood straight and waited for him to be done. He tried to kiss you next but you only turned your head to the side, so his lips grazed your cheek.

”Are you okay? Why are you not kissing me back?“

”We should sit down.“

He looked at you confused but sat down on the bed and waited for you to say the next thing.

”The last thing you remember from yesterday was you puking?“

He nodded.

”You got more drunk after, and well, you were pretty hurtful towards me.“

”What did I say?“

”You called me a bitch, said you wish you never met me, then you wouldn’t have such a boring life or made me your girlfriend, said I can’t pleasure you, you were rude to the bartenders, should I go on?“

”That wasn’t me.“

You scoffed, of course, it was him. You pulled out your phone and opened the link your friend sent you of the article.

”If you tell me, this isn’t you and me, then I believe you.“

He looked at the article with big eyes and was stuttering, clearly, he didn’t expect there to be pictures of the situation.

”But why were we fighting? Everything was perfect.“

”Yeah, until you were too drunk and I tried to give you water to sober up, you noticed and freaked out. Called me a bitch and all that, when I finally dragged you to the hotel, you said that you never should’ve met me.“

He got up and walked through the room, ”all because of water?“

You nodded and looked outside the window with the beautiful view on the strip.

”Y/N, I didn’t mean it like that, you have to trust me.“

But you said nothing and kept looking out the window, you knew this was coming, but you were too hurt to let it slide.

”Y/N, please. You’re not a bitch, you’re my angel. I love you so much.“

”Drunken words, sober thoughts, remember.“

”You know how angry I get at things when I’m drunk, do you remember the time I yelled at Max for standing too close to the drinks? Because of stupid things, I get angry. I didn’t mean anything I said.“

”Doesn’t justify it, Lando I’m sorry but I don’t know if I’ll stay in Vegas, I wish it turned out different but you really fucking hurt me.“

”No! Y/N! You can’t leave me, I need you. We planned so many cool things in Las Vegas.“

”Maybe, but I didn’t think you would hurt me that much.“

He sat down and grabbed your hand, you let him, after all, you loved him.

”You have to believe me, baby, I didn’t mean anything I said. I love how cared for me and tried to give me water, I’ll never drink again, I promise!“, he tugged a loose piece of hair behind your ear and grabbed your chin to make you look at him.

”Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t think you’re taking this seriously Lando. You called me a bitch, drunk or not, this is something that came out of your mouth!“, now you were the one that got up and released yourself from his touch.

”I am! I just think we should forget about it, because, clearly, I wasn’t me.“

With a huff, you went and grabbed your bag.

”Think about what you did, I need to go, maybe you were right, maybe we never should’ve met, maybe this relationship was supposed to last for a few years, but not forever and always.“

”Wait Y/N, don-“, but before he could continue, you were out the door and in the hallway. Slowly you walked to the elevator and waited for him to run after you, but he didn’t. The door stayed closed, no matter how long you stared at it and waited for it opened. With tears in your eyes, you waited for the elevator and it took you to the lobby.

You had no plan for where you were going, you just walked. You wanted him to think about the things and realize this isn’t something that he can fix with an easy ’I‘m sorry‘. You walked for at least an hour before resting in a small café near the strip, you prayed that there were no fans of Lando, normally you loved meeting the faces behind the edits, but today you needed your peace. You ordered your favorite beverage and checked your phone, not one call or text from

Lando appeared on the screen, instead millions of messages from Instagram. Private messages, comments, tagged pictures and videos, the list goes on and on. You had even received messages from your and Lando’s parents, yours were worried about you and wanted to know what happened, same as Lando’s. They also told you they couldn’t reach Lando and wanted to know if he was okay. This was all too much, you wish you threw this damn party, then you would be happy with Lando right now. You hated fighting, especially with Lando. After sitting there for at least thirty minutes, you decided it was time to talk about it, you couldn’t endure the unknown anymore, you needed to know what would happen with your relationship.

Once again you held the plastic card against the door and the red light turned green, you opened it and were welcomed with a big bouquet of flowers. You walked further into the room but couldn’t find Lando, instead, you saw two bigger boxes sitting on the bed next to a piece of paper, you sat down and read.

’My dear angel,

I‘m sorry I hurt you, it never was my intention to do so. I know being drunk isn’t an accuse of actions and I’m not saying that anymore, what I did was stupid, you’re not a bitch, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me, I am so glad I met you that day, because if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be nearly as happy as I am. You pleasure me just perfectly, I don’t think that there was a day in these five years where I wasn’t ready to fuck you, by just looking at you. Yes, even in your sweats and with your bun on top of your head.

If I could turn back time, I would. My behavior was unacceptable, and it’ll never happen again, I promise. I love how you cared for me, and kept on trying to give me water, and rubbing my back while I was puking all over the toilet, that’s true love.

I‘m giving you space, take as much time as you need, I’ll wait. If you want to go home, just text me and I’ll book the next available flight home, whether it’s Monaco or your actual home, you won’t even see me, if you don’t want to. But if you’re able to give me another chance, in the two boxes next to you, are things I know you wanted for some time now. I‘m not trying to buy my way back to you, just know I did this to show that I care about you. I have made a reservation in the restaurant you desperately wanted to go to, but it was all booked out. Being a driver comes in handy I guess. I‘ll wait for you. The reservation is at 8:00 pm, don’t feel the need to come, it’s fine if you need more time, I can’t blame you, it’s all my fault.

I‘m sorry, I love you.

Yours.‘

He could be actually really sweet. You dropped the letter on the bed and got up to face the boxes, you first opened the smaller one, in there were your favorite shoes, in that color you wanted. You‘ve been in Lando’s ears for months, that you want to buy them, but you were too stingy. You turned them around in your hands and admired them, they were beautiful. A small smile fell over your face.

Next, you opened the bigger box and pulled the material out, that was wrapped in satin paper. It was a designer dress that you loved, you saw it some time ago when you were window shopping with Lando and you couldn’t get it out of your head. The price was way too much tho, and you forbid Lando to buy it for you, I guess he didn’t listen. You looked back to the flowers and admired them as well, he did go all out. The anger was still there and you were ready to have a screaming match with him, but you felt a little better, the walk also helped clearing your head.

The time on your phone showed you, that it was already 6:32 pm. You thought about just leaving and taking the space you needed, but you couldn’t dump him in this expensive ass restaurant. You were angry, but not cruel.

So you put on your makeup, doing your hair and lastly you put on the dress, it fitted you like a glove, it better does, it costs way too much money for the amount of fabric that goes into it. You looked at your new sneakers, but you couldn’t wear them to this expensive ass dress, so you went with your normal heels. Seeing it was already 8:02 pm, and you had only now left the room, you were going to be late. But he deserved it, you were going to meet him, but you could be a little late. He was definitely sweating already because you weren’t there yet.

You took a taxi to bring you to the restaurant and because of the Grand Prix, the streets were closed and it took longer than normal to get there. Now it was 8:19 pm and you only got to the outside of the building. The elevator was taking you up to the last floor and the waitress waiting at the front desk was welcoming you with a smile. She brought you to the table where Lando was sitting, when he saw you, his eyes lit up and he stood up to greet you. He gave you a kiss on your cheek and you both sat down.

”I‘m glad you came.“

”I wasn’t sure if I wanted to.“

”Oh.“

”What Oh? Lando please,“ you tried to keep your voice calm, so others wouldn’t shift their attention to you, ”You said things that clearly upset me, you can be happy that I’m here. I don’t think a lot of people would do that.“

”I‘m sorry, I didn’t think yo-“

”You didn’t think, seems like you’re not doing that a lot lately.“

Before Lando could answer, a waiter came to you and you ordered your drinks.

”I‘m really sorry, you have to believe me. My behavior wasn’t okay, and it won’t happen again. I promise.“

You said nothing and kept quiet, you didn’t want to forgive him already, he should feel the pain you felt.

”Thank you for the clothes,“ came out of your mouth after you got your drinks and ordered your food. You may be mad, but he still paid hella money for the things.

”You only deserve the best, you know that.“

You nodded. The silence was loud and both of you didn’t know what to say, that never had happened before, normally you always have something to talk about.

”Baby, what do I need to do, that you forgive me? I‘m really sorry. I‘ll do whatever.“

You grabbed his hand that laid on the table.

”I need time, I won’t leave, but I can’t jump back into how we were before the party. Just give me time and you need time to reflect on everything too. Just because I’m staying doesn’t mean it’s fine, neither am I. I love you so much, but you hurt me big time, you humiliated me in front of our friends and tabloids. I need you to be a good boyfriend.“

”I‘m so sorry, it never was my intention to hurt you, nor publicly. I hate myself for letting this get out of hand, I don’t know why I was acting that way, I just know that it’ll never happen again. You have to trust me with that.“

He squeezed your hand and looked at you, you could clearly see how sorry he was. He was embarrassed and you could feel it, he was acting all shy and didn’t really know what to do, he'd never been like that before.

Your food came and it was enjoyed in mostly silence, a few comments about the food or view you had up here, were made, but you both were stuck in your own mind.

The walk to the hotel was silent as well, you were walking next to each other but without touching, it was awful. It has never been that stiff between you two, so when you stood in the elevator that brought you up to your floor, you couldn’t endure this feeling anymore. You hugged and squeezed him tight.

”I love you, okay? We‘ll work it through and we‘ll be okay, don’t worry.“

You looked up at him and pressed your lips to his, he was melting down in your touch and finally relaxing a bit.

”But you also said something else while you were drunk.“

Lando feared the worst.

”You want to propose?“

taglist: @millinorrizz

[mountttmase]

The Way You Love Me

Note - I promised never to write a fic as long as what I need again but this is longer by 3k so sorry about that 😭 this fic would be nothing without @masonmtxo and just thank you so much for all the hours we spent brainstorming this cause I just had so much fun 🩷 this one’s for you bestie 🤗 this fic is a part two of Like Magnets so if you haven’t read that first please do but if you don’t want to hopefully you can keep up! Love you guys I hope you enjoy and feedback is appreciated 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 24.2k

Warnings - smut fluff and angst

You still remember that morning you woke up next to Mason for the first time after you’d reacquainted the night before. You’d been crying like a crazy person and as a result could barely open your eyes but you laid on his chest and watched him intently.

You loved the way his brows were pinched, making him look pissed off in his sleep. It made your heart feel soft and you couldn’t help but reach out to touch them to try and smooth them out. Your fingers shifting him awake slightly but it was worth it so see the smile on his face when his eyes landed on yours.

‘Good morning beautiful’ he sighed, pulling you in closer before leaving a soft kiss on your forehead. ‘You look like you’ve been punched in both eyes’

‘Very funny’ you laughed, rubbing at your eyes to try and do something with them but you knew nothing would make a difference. You could feel they were still swollen from all the crying you’d done last night but right now it was worth it to wake up next to him. ‘Do you have to rush off or do you want breakfast?’

‘I’ll probably have to go sweetheart, I need to get to training’ he pouted and even though you knew that was probably the case you were still sad about him leaving.

‘Okay’ you whispered, a sad smile on your face as he tucked some hair behind your ear and you could tell he was wracking his brain to try and think of something to make you smile.

‘Do you wanna come over to mine tonight?’ He offered, holding your jaw as he stroked your cheek gently and you cursed yourself at that being all it took to make your face light up like the sun.

‘Really? Already?’

‘Yeah, I’m not hiding you or anything anymore. I want you to be a part of my life for real’ he confirmed and even though you told him last night you wanted to take things slow you also knew you had more to talk about. ‘So you’ll come?

‘Okay’ you whispered, giddy and excited about seeing him later and you could see from the smile he was giving you that he felt exactly the same.

‘I’ll send you the address, yeah? And I’ll have dinner waiting for you’

‘I might reconsider in that case’ you joked and the look of shock on his face made you giggle.

‘Cheeky, I’ll get you back for that’ he teased, feeling him move his hands to your waist so he could tickle you relentlessly until you were practically begging him to stop. Pulling him down for a kiss in the end to distract him and you couldn’t help but let out a content hum at the way you melted into each other.

So you went to his that night, him texting you the address along with one of the animal facts he’d saved for you just as promised and you weren’t sure what to expect. It was just his flat as Robin was still in the house but it was still nicer than what you had and you could tell Robin had never set foot in here. It was a man cave to a T but you could tell he’d tidied up a bit for you. Letting you know he’d ordered food so you were safe and you spent the evening cuddled up on the sofa stealing sweet kisses from each other.

‘I like it here, it’s calm’ you commented after a while, watching the corners of his lips tilt up into a soft smile.

‘Well whenever you wanna drop by you can, you know I love having you around’

‘I might take you up on that’ you winked and he was quick to kiss you again. The pair of you not able to keep your hands off of each other it seemed but you weren’t complaining. You’d missed his touch more than you’d realised over the weeks you’d spent apart and now you were back you felt that same force sticking you together again.

‘I hope you do’ he laughed before his face turned serious as he gripped your chin to look at you. ‘What do you think about me introducing you to some people properly soon?

‘Oh? Um I mean-‘

‘Yeah I mean some of my mates know who you are and I’ll tell my family about us soon I promise. You know like when the timings good and-‘

‘Mase wait’ you interrupted. Wanting to stop him in his tracks as he’d clearly got a little ahead of himself and forgot that you’d requested to take things slowly, the thought of having to let him down a bit made your heart hurt but you knew you had to be strong on this one .

‘What’s wrong?’

‘It’s just, it’s a bit fast for me’ you whispered, the sudden realisation changing Mason’s expression in an instant and thankfully you didn’t get the vibe that we was mad or anything.

‘Oh no not you’re right, sorry I just got a bit excited. We've got loads of time for that’

‘I just-‘

‘You don’t need to explain’ he smiled, cutting you off with a quick kiss. ‘You need time and I know that. I’m happy to wait until you’re ready, okay? And if I’m this pushy again just tell me to back off. I’ll take what you give me, just like we agreed’

‘Okay’ you whispered, your heart soaring at the fact he’s actually listened to you and was respecting your boundaries but It wasn’t just Mason going fast that made you pump the brakes. You were nervous about everything that would come with being in his world and meeting everyone as you weren’t sure what people might think of you or if they’d have something to say, but thankfully you were keeping things on the down low for now. Agreeing that you’d take it slow and since the evening you’d spent at his you’d only physically seen him once in three weeks when he came over to yours for a movie night and you realised how much you loved being around him again.

You’d kept in touch with messages and the odd facetime but you missed his touch, his kisses and the way your head fit so perfectly on his chest so after your dinner plans fell through one night, you thought it would be nice to surprise him in hopes you could cook for him or treat him to a takeaway. Taking him up on his offer of popping over whenever you liked and heading over straight from work without letting him know you were on the way.

You weren’t expecting the door to open to a mop of blonde curls though. Their face eyeing you curiously before they sent you a friendly smile and it finally clicked that you’d seen this person before.

‘Oh hey, y/n right? It's nice to see you again’

‘Y-yeah that’s me’ you nodded. Face to face with the boy from the first night you met Mason who didn’t seem to take too kindly to you. ‘Woody right?’

‘Yeah, that’s me’ he laughed, stepping back and nodding you in but you felt awkward and shy and you stepped inside.

‘Sorry, I had no idea you’d be here I was just gonna speak to Mase about something but it’s fine I can come back another time’ you told him, hoping to make it seem like you were just popping in rather than going with the expectation of staying a while.

‘No don’t be silly, come in’ he smiled before you followed him into the sitting room, wondering if Mason would be in there but when you turned the corner there was no one else around. ‘He’s not stopped yapping about you since I’ve seen him. We’re only watching a film so it’s fine, he’s actually just ordering some food. You eaten?’

‘Oh no I um-‘

‘You know what he’s like, eyes bigger than his belly so I’m sure there will be plenty. You might as well stay and eat with us’ he offered and even though his attitude seemed to have done a 180 and he was being more than welcoming you still felt weird about intruding.

‘Are you sure?’

‘Definitely’ he smiled, before he gulped and you knew he was getting ready to say something else. Your heart rate picking up at what might be an awkward encounter but he was talking before you could tell him to stop. ‘Listen, I kinda wanted to talk to you anyway at some point and now seems like as good a time as any. I wanted to apologise for that night, you know when you first met him? I know I didn’t come across as very friendly but you know it was never you right?’

‘I know, you don’t have to be sorry’ you told him, knowing he was just looking out for Mason and it was clear to see he had his back over anything. ‘It was weird for everyone, like I knew nothing at the time and I know you were just looking out for him’

‘I was, and I know how tough things have been for him but I can’t tell you how happy you make him’ he laughed, feeling your cheeks flush straight away at his confession. You knew Mason made you happy but to hear it coming from someone so close to him meant more than anything. ‘It’s like having a whole different Mason around’

‘Well he makes me happy too’ you nodded, speaking quietly as you were embarrassed to admit to him. ‘I know it’s been rocky and weird but-‘

‘I don’t think they understood my southern accent but if my calculations are correct it should be delivered in half an hour’ you suddenly heard Mason shout through the hall, you and Woody turning to look at each other with a smile before Mason rounded the corner and he spotted you straight away. His face a mask of shock but you could tell he was happy and also a little flustered. ‘Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you had plans?’

‘I did, but they got cancelled last minute. I was just popping in but I didn’t realise Woody was here too’

‘I told her she can stay for dinner, you’ve ordered enough right?’ Woody asked him, raising his brows at him. Almost as if he was trying to tell him to act cool but Mason was way beyond that and you could see how giddy he was just at the sight of you.

‘Yeah I have’ he smiled, slowly making his way over to you and as if Woody knew it was his que to go, he excused himself to the loo.

‘Thought he’d never leave’ Mason laughed, falling down next to you on the sofa so he could wrap you up in his arms and you felt your whole body relax as you held each other. ‘Missed you, gorgeous’

‘I missed you too’ you whispered, hiding your head in his neck as you felt too shy to look at him and soon enough he was trying to pull you away so he could see you.

‘Hey, why won’t you look at me’ he laughed, trying to tickle your sides and his plans worked as you started to squirm away but you moved your hands over your face to hide again. ‘Baby, what are you doing?’

‘Stop it, I’ve gone all shy’ you laughed, hoping he’d leave you be but just as you’d figured he did no such thing. Prying your hands away from your face so your red cheeks were exposed to him and the bright smile on his face made you melt.

‘Why are you shy, it’s only me’ he whispered, his own cheeks just as red and you thought it was the most adorable thing in the world.

‘I know’ you giggled, letting him cup your jaw before resting your face in his hand so you could gaze into each other's eyes lovingly before he dipped down to kiss you.

It was like having your first kiss all over again. Slightly hesitant and soft but you could feel his smile on your lips and feel the tsunami of butterflies swarming in your tummy. You loved kissing Mason, and each time you got to kiss him again you remembered how much. Letting him take control as he carefully dipped his tongue into your mouth so he could brush it against yours and in the end you had to pull away as you felt yourself overwhelmed by him. Your heart pounding in your ears as you struggled to catch your breath but his soft smile and kind eyes relaxed you when you were finally able to look at him.

‘You guys want a drink?’ Woody suddenly called, the pair of you jumping slightly and Mason answered for the both of you before he came back to the living room with his arms full of cans from the fridge. They both let you have the first pick before you took your coat off to get comfy on the sofa but Mason was giving you the once over before his face scrunched a little.

‘Do you wanna get changed, love? I’ve got some things you can borrow if you don’t wanna sit in that’ Mason asked, his eyes trailing over your body trapped in your stuffy work trousers and tight top and you couldn’t think of anything better than putting something else on.

‘Actually yeah, if you don’t mind. These trousers are suffocating me’ you laughed but he just nodded at you with a knowing smile.

‘Yeah come on, I’ll go grab you something’ Mason laughed, reaching down to pull you up before leading you down the hall and even though you were just getting changed, having him lead you to his room by the hand made your legs weak.

You followed him in, watching him pull some stuff out of his drawers and handing them to you with a smile before he nodded his head into the bathroom.

‘I won't be long, you can get changed in here’ he told you. Popping a quick kiss to your cheek before he left you to it.

You were just pulling his top over your head when you heard the bathroom door click open. Turning around to see Mason's eyes already over your bare legs and you gulped as he made his way over to you.

‘Sorry, I thought you’d be done’

‘It's okay’ you whispered, placing your hands on his chest as he wrapped his around your lower back and you felt the air shift immediately.

‘Sorry about Woody, I know you waited to wait to meet people’

‘It’s honestly fine, I think we’re gonna be besties’ you winked and the little laugh that erupted from him filled you with pride. You knew he had the prettiest smile you’d ever seen and you loved making him laugh, getting to see him so happy made you feel like you were floating.

‘Oh yeah?’

‘Yeah, apparently I make you really happy and you don’t stop talking about me’ you teased, letting him kiss your cheek and jaw but you almost lost it when you felt his lips at you ear so he could speak.

‘Woody is many things but he’s not a liar, so yeah I’d say that’s all true’ he told you quietly. ‘Woodys a nice entry level, if he’s on board then the rest will be fine when it’s time’

‘Masey’ you whispered, letting him pull back to look at you properly and you could see in his eyes that you both wanted the same thing to happen next. ‘Can I have another kiss?’ You asked, the question only leaving your mouth for a second before he dipped his head and planted lips on yours.

This was nothing like the kiss in the living room. This was slow and steamy and when his hands gripped your bum you let out a faint moan before he hoisted you up to carry you over to his bed. Sitting down at the end so you could straddle him and when you felt his hands on your naked waist as he slipped them under your top you almost lost it.

This was as close as you’d gotten to each other in a while, having not been intimate since he ran out on you after and since you were taking things slowly, sex had been off the table. Ideally you were hoping you could have held out a bit longer and make him work for it, you were drawn back to him like usual. Wanting to touch him and feel him in every way shape and form as you pressed your body into him until you could feel him pressing into you.

‘Mase! Foods here’ Woody suddenly shouted down the hall, the pair of you jumping away from each other before looking up at him. His eyes dark and pretty lips were swollen but he quickly pressed a kiss to your cheek before rolling his eyes

‘Coming’ he called before looking back at you and you both knew you were a little annoyed at being interrupted again but also knew it was for the best. ‘Come back when you’re ready, yeah?’ He nodded, stroking your cheek gently.

‘Okay’ you whispered and with one final kiss he left you to finish getting changed. Giving yourself a moment to collect yourself before pulling on a pair of his shorts and wandering back out to find the pair of them in the kitchen and the smell of the food made your tummy rumble.

‘I forgot to ask, what did you order?’ You asked, coming up behind Mason and placing your hand on his back which made him jump slightly but he was quick to send you a wink.

‘Chinese’ he smiled. ‘Don’t worry, I conveniently ordered your favourite. It’s like I knew you were coming’

‘Why did you do that?’

‘Well I’d consider it our favourite now. You’ve made me see the light’ he winked before dishing you up two identical plates.

‘I feel awful, are you sure there’s enough?’

‘Of course there is love, even got some left over’ he reassured you, planting a quick kiss on your forehead before grabbing both your plates and ushering you into the living room.

You all spoke as you ate, Mason and Woody updating you on some exciting plans and trips they had coming up before Mason was nudging your shoulder and telling you he wanted to take you away at some point but you just blushed as you tried to brush him off. Knowing it was way too early to think about trips when you were still figuring out what everything was.

‘So when can I take you on that first date?’ Mason asked once you’d finished eating. Popping your plates on the coffee table as Woody set the movie up and thankfully Mason pulled you into his body without you having to ask for a cuddle.

‘Whenever you like’ you nodded and the smile on his face my your heart flutter.

‘Okay, perfect. What would you like to do? Remember I said I’d take you wherever you wanna go so think carefully’

‘Hmmm’ you mused, wondering if you should say something completely ridiculous to test the waters as he seemed so cool about everything and when you sent him a cheeky smile he raised his brows at you expectantly. ‘I fancy pizza… in Italy’

‘Pizza in Italy?’

‘You said whatever I want’ you shrugged, watching his face scrunch up adorably as he knew he’d walked into that one but he didn’t seem phased by your request in the slightest.

‘I did say that didn’t I’ he laughed, kissing your cheek sweetly ‘I’ll make it happen’

‘I’m joking Mase’ you told him, knowing if you didn’t he’d actually take you there and the cheeky smile in his face wasn’t exactly doing anything to calm your nerves.

‘No no, I’ll do it-‘

‘Oi, fingers on lips you two. I can’t hear this’ Woody laughed, the two of you bursting into giggles at how stroppy he seemed but you felt bad enough for ruining boys night so you snuggled into Masons chest as he rested his head on top of yours and kept silent for the rest of the movie. Letting Mason kiss your forehead whenever he felt like it and sneak his hand under your top so he could feel your skin under his fingers.

You fell asleep on Mason's chest with around ten minutes left of the film to go. Mason noticing straight away that you’d turned heavy and your breathing was deeper but he let you sleep. Knowing today had been a long day for you and you were exhausted but he couldn’t help but look down at you adoringly. Pressing the softest of kisses to your hairline every so often until the credits were rolling and and he looked over to see wishing giving him a knowing smile that he returned.

‘You gonna wake her up?’ Woody asked quietly but Mason was torn. Looking back down at you so peacefully sleepily on him make him not want to move a muscle.

‘I don’t know what to do. I’d let her sleep here tonight but I don’t know what she wants. She’s had a lot on lately I don’t wanna wake her up’

‘Well you can’t lay there all night, you’ll do your back in’ Woody laughed, standing up so he could stretch his body out but clearly he’d forgotten the remote was on his lap and when it crashed to the floor you woke up with a fright.

‘Shit, sorry’ he whispered, his face turning red instantly but Mason was quick to rub your back and settle you again as your bleary eyes looked up into his.

‘Hey sleepyhead’ he whispered. ‘Do you want me to talk you home’

‘Not really’ you sighed, trying to burrow yourself into his chest even further as you were so comfortable and the rubble of Mason's chest as he laughed made you giddy.

‘Come on love, we need to get up’

‘Nooo’ you protested. Holding your ground as you laid there and you could tell he was amused by your little tantrum.

‘What do you wanna do then?’

‘I think she wants to stay the night, Mase’ Woody called from the kitchen. It making you smile that Woody understood and Mason didn’t and when he looked down at you his cheeks were a bright pink.

‘Do you?’ He whispered, holding you to his chest like he wasn't about to let you go anyway and when you nodded up at him you felt his whole body relax.

‘Is that okay?’

‘Of course it is, You don’t have to ask’ he told you. Kissing your hairline a few times before attempting to get up and eventually you moved yourself off of him and let him lead you to his room.

‘Thank you’ you whispered, ridding yourself of the shorts he gave you so you could sleep in just his shirt and when he eventually climbed in next to you in just his boxers you couldn’t hold in the content hum as your skin touched his.

‘You don’t need to thank me, gorgeous. You know I’ve been dying to be next to you again like this’ he told you. Kissing your head softly wherever he could reach. ‘What time do you need to go in the morning?’

‘I’m working from home tomorrow so I can just get a cab or something’

‘No you won’t, I’ll drop you on the way to training okay?’ He smiled and all you could do was nod and nestle yourself into him further.

This was your happy place and you were so excited to be back.

-

He stuck to his promise and drove you home in the morning and by the time lunch rolled around this sight of his name popping up on your phone made you giggle like a schoolgirl.

You knew exactly what this meant, and after your heated make out session that Woody had interrupted you couldn’t wait to get your hands on him again. In your mind you’d wanted to wait a bit longer but you physically couldn’t at this point as you were once again drawn back to him and now that you knew he might want to make your first time special you couldn’t stop thinking about what he might be planning.

You saw him briefly once for a quick lunch date on one of his days off but it was for barely over an hour as you had to get back to work but you both knew what was coming up and no matter how much you asked he wasn't giving in and telling you where you were going so your imagination was running wild.

When the day of your date finally came, Mason's driver came and picked you up around 8am. A horrifically early morning by your standards but you wanted to get there early so you could check in and get settled and ready for Mason and in the back of his fancy car with a movie on, the drive didn’t feel that long.

You didn’t know what hotel you were staying at exactly, Mason had given you the name but you’d never heard of it and hadn’t bothered to look it up but when you eventually stumbled from the back of the car it you thought you’d been dropped off at the wrong destination.

‘Are you sure this is it?’ You asked the driver as he unloaded your case but he nodded at you warmly as he set it up on the floor for you.

‘100%’ he laughed. Clearly catching on to your stunned expression. There were fancy hotels and there were fancy hotels and this was definitely the latter. ‘Reception is just through that door, will you be alright or do you want me to come in with you?’ He offered and even though you could have used his support, you felt a bit silly so just shook your head lightly.

‘I’ll be alright, thanks though’ you smiled and bid him a quick goodbye before making your way inside.

The reception was huge, a high ceiling with a grand chandelier and you must have looked a bit lost as someone directed you to the check in desk and you were checked in fairly quickly. Taking both room keys as Mason said he’d just text you when he was here so you could let him in and you made your way up to the top floor.

Once the door was open you wondered again if something had gone wrong somewhere. The room was huge with a huge double bed and balcony but the glass walled bathroom that you could see straight into made you blush. The shower being the perfect spot to watch from the bed and your mind was going crazy with all the possibilities.

Mason had told you to treat yourself to room service for lunch before you got settled for a nap, knowing Mason would still be a few hours and once you were awake you took and everything shower before you started getting ready. You were expecting a call from Mason at any moment and just as you’d finished drying your hair you heard your phone ping and you knew he was outside.

‘Hello gorgeous’ he smiled, cupping your jaw and pulling you into a kiss that made your knees weak before you let him in fully. Letting him dump his bag on the bed before he turned to look at you again and the cheeky smirk on his face was making you blush. ‘Nice robe’

You laughed as you looked down at yourself, not wanting to get fully dressed after your shower you’d just changed into the rather racy black underwear you’d bought specifically for tonight and thrown the fancy hotel robe over the top so you could get ready in some comfort but you could tell from the look in his eyes that he wanted to undress you right here and now.

‘Well I’ve never been in a hotel this fancy, and I’ve always wanted to try the robes on so I’m just living my little fantasy’

‘Trust me, so am I’ he drawled, his eyes all over you as he took you back in his arms. Hands trailing down to grab your bum as his lips landed on your cheek before he littered kisses down your neck and you knew exactly what he wanted.

‘Nuh uh, I need to finish getting ready with no distractions’ you told him, pulling away so you could walk over to your makeup bag but you knew he was pouting behind you.

‘But I haven’t seen you for a week’

‘And we got all night to make up for it’ you reasoned, flashing him a smile before picking your bag up and nodding towards the balcony. ‘Now I’m going to do my makeup’

‘Spoil sport’ he laughed, kissing your forehead as you made your way past. ‘I’m gonna have a shower okay’

It was probably a good thing that you were doing your makeup outside and away from Mason, knowing that if he was showering you’d be able to see him in all his glory and you’d probably end up joining him so you kept yourself out of the way and only went back in to get changed. Taking a few lipstick options into the bathroom with you as you were still undecided and wanted to be fully dressed before you settled on a colour.

Your outfit was fairly simple, a short black dress that showed off your legs but the long sleeves kept it a touch more conservative and you knew Mason would love the way it clung to your body and accentuated your hips.

You’d never worn it before, but the tube of red lipstick you’d purchased a while ago and never opened had called your name whilst you were packing last night. Wondering if Mason would like it and since you’d kept the rest of your makeup pretty simple you figured it would be fine to try. Applying it as carefully as you could so you didn’t smudge it and once you were done you wondered why you hadn’t tried it sooner. You felt sexy and you couldn’t wait to go and see what Mason thought.

His jaw physically dropped as soon as soon as he saw you. Eyes trailing all over you as he took every inch of you in and you felt yourself blush under his stare. No one else had ever made you feel this way by just a look and it was like he had the power to make you crumble.

‘You look unreal’ he breathed, walking towards you slowly before resting his hands on your waist. ‘I wanna kiss that lipstick off you so bad’

‘Well you can’t, not till later anyway’ you told him as his pout was evident. Kissing your temple and your cheek before pulling back to give you another once over and you felt your tummy flutter at the way he was looking at you.

‘This is like torture’ he whispered, squeezing your hips but the way you bit your lip as you smiled clearly send him over the edge as he met out a shuddery breath. ‘That's it, we’re not going’

‘Mason-’

‘Nope sorry, I won’t be able to concentrate on anything if I’m sat opposite the human embodiment of Betty boop. I can barely think of a coherent thought right now so let’s just skip dinner’ he laughed and even though you knew he was joking the thought of a whole evening between the sheets with Mason was tempting. You were starving though and curious as to what he’d planned so you pouted up at him in hopes he’d finish getting ready so you could go.

‘But Mason, I’m hungry’

‘Me too, but not for food’

‘Mason I’m serious’ you laughed, tapping his chest as he wrapped himself around you again but you could see he was only playing and with a slight roll of his eyes he was smiling at you again.

‘Alright fine, let me finish getting ready and we’ll go yeah?’

‘Thank you’ you grinned. Letting him kiss the end of your nose and before you knew it he was ready in front of you. Your mouth watering at how good he looked and now you knew how he must have felt before as all you wanted was to drag him back to bed and have your way with him finally.

You managed to restrain yourself though, the pair of you leaving the room and making your way into the Uber outside and you’d been driving around for around ten minutes when you realised you still had no idea where you were going.

‘So where are we going then?’ You asked nonchalantly, hoping he’d forget it was a surprise but the twinkle in his eye let you know you were still about to be kept in the dark.

‘I thought you knew? Pizza in Italy right?’ He winked, watching a pout form on your lips that he was quick to kiss away carefully. ‘It’s a surprise’

You let him have his fun, driving for another ten minutes or so before you pulled over and Mason helped you get out of the car. This wasn’t an area of London you knew very well and when you looked up at him he was smiling down at you sheepishly.

‘Where are we?’

‘Little Venice’ he smiled as he took your hand and you felt your cheeks redden at how thoughtful he’d been. ‘I know it’s not Italy but it’s the closest we have’

‘Mason… this is…’ you mumbled. Lost for words for the boy in front of you and even though this was already the best date you’d even been on you could tell he was still eager to impress.

‘Is it okay?’ He asked, squeezing your hand as his eyes tried to find yours but you were feeling shy at the way he’d put so much effort in and you couldn’t look at him properly.

‘I’m speechless’

‘Is that good or bad?’

‘It’s very good’ you smiled, finally looking back to him before reaching up to give him a quick peck on the lips as you knew he needed a little reassurance. It seemed to do the trick and before long he was guiding you along the narrow path by the canal until your eyes caught sight of a restaurant that was situated above you on a bridge. ‘Is that where we’re going?’

‘Surprise’ he laughed, letting go of your hand so he could wrap his arm around your shoulder before kissing your head and it was like you were lost for words all over again. Looking up to see his shy smile directed down at you but you were too gobsmacked to think.

‘Mase… it’s beautiful’

‘Just like you then’ he whispered shyly before taking your hand once more and leading you to the door.

It was just as beautiful inside and your table was outside on the middle of the balcony so you could look over the river. Your eyes filling with tears as soon as you were able to take everything in but Mason was quick to grab your hand and run his thumb over your knuckles to settle you a bit.

‘Mase… this is…’

‘Just the tip of the iceberg’ he smiled. ‘I’m gonna treat you the way I should have from the start so you’re gonna have to get used to this’ he told you sincerely but you weren’t sure if you were ever going to be able to get used to it. You felt utterly spoiled and you’d only just sat down.

Thankfully you and Mason liked the same sort of foods so after starting off with some cocktails you ended up ordering a pizza to share and a pasta that the both of you thought sounded nice so you could share that too and you had to stop yourself from getting too giddy as he tried to feed you multiple times throughout the night.

‘How’s the pizza?’ He asked, taking a bite out of the slice he’d just fed you with but the way he rolled his eyes in pleasure let you know he thought it was good.

‘Really nice, what do you think?’

‘I like it, we can compare it to the real thing soon’ he winked but you just looked back at him in confusion until he nodded to a white envelope that was sat in front of the menus that you’d completely missed until now.

You sent him a confused look, but he didn’t crack. Waiting for you to open it before he said anything so you took it carefully and opened it with a slight frown. Unsure as to what it could be but you recognised they were plane tickets instantly.

‘Mason…’

‘It’s not for a few months, have to wait till the season ends, but I promised I’d make it happen and I will’ he smiled.

‘I can’t… Mase it’s too much’ you told him. Shutting the envelope as you were too overwhelmed with what he might have done but he was quick to take your hand and rub his thumb over your knuckles soothingly.

‘Nothing will ever be too much for you, I promise’ he told you lowly and the intensity of it all was making your tummy flip. No longer feeling confident enough to look at his face so you looked down at your plate as you blushed profusely.

‘You still think you’ll be with me in a few months?’ you joked and even though he smiled you could he was about to be serious with you and you weren’t sure if you could take it right now given his emotional you were.

‘I think it’s more you thinking if you wanna be with me’ he smiled. ‘You know I’m in this for the long hall right? You're all I’ll ever need okay?’

‘I’m in this for the long hall too’ you smiled, letting him raise your hand so he could kiss over your knuckles and it was like you could have melted on the spot. You knew tonight was going to be special but Mason really had pulled out all the stops and you couldn’t be more grateful for the beautiful boy in front of you. Tonight feeling like a turning point for you both.

You spent the rest of the night chatting and feeding each other. The pair of you too full for a dessert each so he let you pick whatever you wanted and shared it with you. Pulling his chair round next to yours and under the table you felt him tangle his legs with yours before sending you a cheeky wink and it’s as if you felt as light as air. Nothing and no one could stop you tonight and you couldn’t believe you’d finally made it to this point with him.

Just before leaving you popped to the loo but when you got back Mason wasn’t at your table, wondering if he’d gone to the loo himself but when you sat back down you saw him talking to a waiter just across the room. A concerned look on his face as they talked back and forth before his eyes fell on your and his face softened slightly. Nodding to the waiter and thanking him before walking back to you and when he took your hands in his you knew something was wrong.

‘We’ve got a bit of a situation’ he told you calmly but you could tell he was slightly annoyed. ‘Apparently there’s paps outside’

‘Oh’

‘It’s okay, I’ve got a plan. I think it’s best we don’t get caught together just yet, you know? And that’s not me trying to hide you or anything, I can’t wait for the day I get to show you off but just cause of Robin and everything I-‘

‘Mase it’s okay, I get it’ you smiled. ‘I don’t really want to start a shit storm either’ you told him and the look of relief that took over his face made your heart thump. Clearly he was terrified of what you were going to say but you knew by now the trick with Mason was to keep calm and reassure him he was doing the right thing.

‘Okay, so I’ve called an Uber, one of the waiters is gonna walk you out and put you in the car and I’ve told them to do a few laps before coming to get me. I don’t care if they get my picture I just wanna keep you safe, okay?’

‘Okay’ you smiled, letting him kiss the back of your hand gently. You could see he was panicking about it all a little bit but you knew you’d be fine and the way he was trying so hard to protect you was making you melt.

‘I’m so sorry, I’m not sure who called them but I know it’s shit’

‘Mase, it’s okay’ you reassured him, knowing it wasn’t his fault and that he’d tried to keep this as intimate as he could so you tried to keep his spirits up whilst the Uber made its way so nothing could ruin your evening.

‘Ubers outside okay? If you need me just text me and I’ll come’ he told you as he helped you put your jacket on.

‘I’ll be fine’ you smiled. Giving his cheek a quick kiss before meeting the waiter by the door who gave you a soft smile and opened the door to let you out.

You could hear the commotion of the paps outside, around five of them with their cameras poised ready to shoot but when Mason was nowhere to be seen they went back to talking. Keeping an eye on you for the most part and you knew they were watching you get into the car but thankfully no one took your picture.

It was around five minutes later when you pulled back up to the restaurant, a little ways further down but not too far away so that Mason would struggle to find you and you quickly uploaded a few pictures to instagram while you waited for him.

y/n

liked by

y/n it’s not pizza in Italy, but it’ll do.

comments are limited

After a minute or two you saw the flashes from the cameras meaning Mason had left. He walked quickly but calmly, sending them a quick nod before dropping his head down and getting to you as quickly as he could and sliding in next you with a huff but your driver was quick to leave and thankfully the paps couldn’t get close.

‘There we go, no one suspects a thing’ he laughed. Finally settling in the seat and taking your hand to he could hold it in his lap and even though you were glad to bet getting away you didn’t think you were out of the woods yet.

‘Do you think we should let someone know? Just in case they post the pictures of you?’

‘Nah, no point. Man leaves London restaurant isn’t exactly a hard hitting story’

‘You’re not just any man though are you?’ You laughed, not believing how nonchalant he was being and the cheeky smile he sent you let you know he still wasn’t being serious.

‘You’re right, I’m your man’ he winked before placing a quick kiss to your forehead.

You were almost back at the hotel when a weird noise from Mason's phone startled the both of you and he picked it up with a confused expression as he tried to work out what had happened.

‘What the… I can’t believe it’

‘Mase? What is it?’ You questioned, seeing his expression turn angry and you gulped as his eyes flickered to yours and then back to his phone.

‘Think I know who called the paps. Not for certain but I’ve got a good idea’

‘What? Who was it?’

He didn’t speak, just showed you the notification on his phone but you weren’t exactly sure what you were looking at to begin with.

‘What? I don’t understand’ you whispered, even seeing her name written down sent a shiver through you and after such a nice evening you wondered if this would be the start of the downfall.

‘I forgot she was linked to my calendar, she’s the only person who would have called them cause I added it in there and I’m guessing she could see we were there. She knows how much I hate it when the paps show up and she’s bloody notorious for it’ he told you. Your mind wandering back to the photos of him and her leaving the restaurant he was meant to take you to and now it all made so much more sense.

‘Well at least they didn’t get any of me’ you reasoned but you knew he was still angry about it. ‘It’s fine Mase, please just forget about her’ you whispered and you watched his face drop as he realised how talking about his ex was probably the last thing you wanted to be doing on your first date so he gently tilted your face to look up at him before leaving a gentle kiss on your lips

‘I did a long time ago, I promise’ he whispered, trying his best to reassure you and the sad smile you sent his way broke his heart a little bit. ‘I’m sorry baby, come on. let’s not let her spoil our evening. I’ve got big plans for you when we get back’

‘Oh yeah’ you asked, one eyebrow raised and you tried to hold back a smile ‘like what?’

‘Just you wait and see’ he teased. Kissing the back of your hand before the car came to a stop outside your hotel.

‘Will you shut your eyes for me please?’ He asked, stopping outside your door with a cheeky smile on his face and you were about to question him but he seemed so excited so you just did it. Letting him lead you into your room until he made you stop completely and when he softly told you to open your eyes, the sight you were met with almost took your breath away.

The lights had been dimmed, a few candles were twinkling away on the sides but it was the rose petals scattered all over the bed that made your cheeks burn and you looked up to see him looking down at you shyly.

‘What’s all this?’

‘Put in a little request downstairs to have it all done for when we got back. I just wanted to make things special for you’

‘Masey’ you pouted, holding him by his jaw so you could pop a quick but heavy kiss on his lips and even though it was only small you could tell how happy he was you’d finally properly kissed him with your lipstick on.

‘Can you imagine if they forgot and I made you shut your eyes for nothing, that would have been so awkward’ he laughed, spinning you so he could hold you from behind and kiss your neck but you felt yourself melting into him and knew it was your turn to tease him a little bit too.

‘You know Mase, this is very presumptuous. I don’t usually put out on the first date’

‘No? You put out that first night we met’ he chuckled, his lips right by your ear as he kissed the shell of it and you felt a tingle run all the way down your spine as he loved on you.

‘That wasn’t a date though, that was an ambush’ you told him. Your voice already sounding breathy and he began to stroke his hands over your sides and at this point you were finding it hard to stand up.

‘What about when I took you out for dinner the second time we met. Seem to remember I ended up in your bed again’

‘That was just two friends catching up’

‘Oh is that what we’re calling it’ he smiled, leaning over further to kiss the corner of your mouth and you could have melted on the spot. ‘So no sex tonight then?’

‘I think I could make an exception’ you told him quietly, letting him spin you around so you were face to face again and his soft smile made your breath catch in your throat. No one had ever looked at you the way Mason did and you knew you were putty in his hands no matter how hard you tried to be strong.

‘That’s the spirit’ he laughed, watching his face turn serious before he gently bumped his nose against yours. The action making you smile as you griped his shoulders gently and the need to kiss him became overwhelming. Thankfully you could see it in his eyes that he wanted the same and you couldn’t wait to finally have him again. ‘Can I kiss you now?’

You’d barely nodded and his lips were on yours. It was messy and frantic as he grabbed at you, clearly not able to control himself after not having you for so long and you knew you’d both be covered in lipstick now but you didn’t care. Your need for him was stronger than any of that worrying so you let him have you. Kissing him until there was no air left in your lungs and you had to pull back but the red lipstick all around his mouth made you feel triumphant.

‘Shall we go clean our faces first?’ You asked but he just shook his head before running his thumb across your bottom lip and dragging it down your chin to your jaw. You knew your messed up lipstick was even worse now, letting him grab your neck and kiss along where the mark was and you had to hold onto his shoulders tightly so you didn’t crumple to the floor as your legs were so weak. ‘You sure Mase? We’re just gonna make a mess’

‘That’s what I want. I want you to make a mess all over me’ he growled into your neck and you couldn't contain the moan that fell from your lips. Letting him pull you over to the bed and onto his lap and you could feel him through his jeans already as you straddled his thighs.

He eventually let you grab some wipes to clean you both up. Telling him it was like making out with a clown and you didn’t want to stain the white sheets so you carefully scrubbed the lipstick off of him as he sat and watched you but you could tell he was eager to have you. His hands massaging your thighs gently and once you told him you were all done he wasted no time in gripping your hips and kissing you once more. This time a little softer and slower and you were glad you were sitting down still as you could feel yourself melting into him.

His little kisses moved across your face and to your jaw, peppering them across until he was trailing them down your neck and trying to attack your collar bones. You could feel his hands pulling at your top, trying to untuck it from your skirt and once he had peeled it from your body his hands were unclipping your bra and throwing that to the side too. Leaving you sat on his lap completely bare from the waist up and the sudden exposure to the cold air made your skin erupt in goosebumps.

Now you were exposed to him he wasted no time in attaching his lips to your chest. Moaning with you in unison as he sucked on the hardened bud and you couldn’t help but buck your hips slightly. His warm hands splayed out over your back made you shiver but you loved how he was devouring you like he hadn’t eaten in weeks. Kissing down the valley of your breasts before giving the other side the same treatment and when he finally looked up at you his eyes were dark and wild.

‘I hope you know you won’t be sleeping tonight’ he told you breathlessly, lips brushing yours as he spoke but it was his eyes rolling in the back of his head as you massaged his scalp lightly that turned you on more than anything else.

‘You better have got late check out then’

‘I’m nothing if not prepared’ he winked and you knew then you were in for a wild ride.

He stuck to his word and you really didn't get much sleep. Between endless rounds of making each other feel good you found yourselves laying half on top of each other as you spoke. Mason's excitement for your future was contagious and even though you wanted to take things slowly you found yourself wanting to say things to him you never had before.

You’d forgotten how good it felt to have him in between your thighs, to have him take care of you in a way no one else could. To let him do exactly what you needed him to and as he rocked himself into you slowly with his forehead resting on yours you found yourself wanting to say so much but you were lost for words.

You felt as light as air as he kissed your cheeks, peppering them gently across your jaw and up to your ear where his light moans travelled straight to your brain and made you tingle. Your hands wandering the expanse of his back as you lightly trailed your nails over him and when you finally grabbed a hold of one of his cheeks he growled into your neck.

‘I love every single part of you’ you he whispered. You hadn't heard him say that to you since that night in your flat as you weren’t quite ready to say it back but clearly he couldn’t hold it in anymore. ‘I’ve known from the second I saw you’

‘Mase-‘

‘Shhhhh, it’s okay. I know’ he told you and even though you wanted to speak you couldn’t. His lips claiming yours again as he brought you to a high once more and by the time you’d recovered you were barely conscious. He’d really put you to the test tonight and knew you were exhausted after the hours you’d spent between the sheets so he finally let you rest. Getting you comfortable in his arms so you could drift off and before long you were out for the count.

-

You were awoken the next morning by the feeling of Mason's lips on your cheeks. Peppering soft kisses repetitively until you were squirming in his hold and you couldn’t remember ever waking up so happy before.

‘Good morning, sweetheart’ he whispered carefully, trying his best not to startle you as you carefully awoke but when you smiled at him softly his lips curled into your favourite smile. ‘As pretty as you look when you’re asleep, you need to wake up my love. Check outs in an hour yeah?’ He told you and you couldn't contain your huff. Barely opening your eyes to look at him but you could see his pout of sympathy for you. ‘I know beautiful, I’m sorry. But it is almost midday’ he chuckled and even though you knew he was right, you shut your eyes again and got comfy.

Even though you were awake he was still pressing kisses to your face, the sound of your giggles mixing together as you tried to hide but he always managed to find somewhere to kiss. Eventually pressing his lips to yours in a sweet kiss that made your toes curl and when he pulled back to rest his forehead on yours you couldn’t contain yourself anymore. The words you’d been holding in for a while now tumbling out of your mouth in a barely there whisper.

‘I love you’

You could tell Mason was shocked. Not expecting to hear that from you quite clearly but the smile on his face was contagious. He’d told you he loved you before but knew you weren’t ready for all of that yet so had cooled off on it until he couldn’t hold it in last night but you knew he loved you as he proved it to you everyday with all the small things he did.

‘You what?’

‘I said, I love you’ you told him again, a bit more forcefully this time as you wanted him to know you meant it and the look of relief on his face made your chest warm.

‘Are you serious?’

‘Yes’ you laughed, kissing him lightly but he was too in shock to reciprocate. Looking back to see his eyes looking a little bleary as his emotions took over and you knew it must have hit him hard.

‘I love you too’ he whispered, laughing as he kissed again but you knew straight away where he was trying to take things and even though you wanted to, you didn’t have time for that right now.

‘Hold your horses, big boy. We don't have time’ you giggled and when he frowned at you you made the same face back.

‘What? You’ve just told me you loved me and now I’m not allowed to do anything about it?’

‘You said we’ve only got an hour’ you argued but you knew he was about to argue back and you had to be strong.

‘I can be quick-‘

‘Mason’ you laughed. ‘I love you, but no’

‘Fine’ he huffed, pressing one last kiss to your lips before moving away from you. ‘I’m just gonna jump in the shower, okay. I love you’ he whispered and you nodded with a smile at him before he left the comfort of your bed to head into the bathroom.

You wondered if this was the whole reason he got this particular room in the first place, the glass bathroom was completely open and as you laid on your side you had a perfect view of Mason under the shower. You knew he wasn’t doing it on purpose, at least you didn’t think he was, but watching his hands roam across his wet body was getting you right in the mood and before you knew it you were knelt up on the bed completely naked in front of him while he stood and watched you. His mouth hanging open as you brushed your fingers softly over your body in an attempt to turn him on like he was doing to you as a little bit of pay back. Knowing he couldn’t get to you easily as the glass wall was in the way but you should have realised by now Mason always got what he wanted.

He was rounding the corner back into the room in a flash. Soap bubbles and splatters of water following in his wake and you squealed as he grabbed a hold of you so he could carry you back into the shower with him.

‘You can’t tell me no and then tease me like that, I won’t have it’ he laughed. Setting you down before pulling you under the warm water and you barely had time to think before he was pressing you up against the slippery tiles.

‘Mase-‘

‘Shhh, I don’t wanna hear it’ he whispered, his hand flying straight to where you needed him so he could circle over you gently and his first touch made you gasp. Knotting your fingers through his hair as he rested his forehead on yours and you knew you were blushing from the intense eye contact he was already holding you captive with.

‘I’ll go slow, yeah?’ He told you quietly but you could already feel his fingers inching back towards your entrance and when he finally began to push his digits in you let out a breath you didn’t realise you’d been holding.

Even though you’d had him multiple times the night before, it still wasn’t enough for you. He would never be enough for you so you took his already hard length in your hand and began to pump him until his eyes were rolling back in his head and he was moving closer to finally get inside you again.

He managed to hook your leg over his arm so you were more open to him and you gasped as he pushed his way inside.

‘You thought you could do that to me and get away with it, huh?’ He breathed, not letting you answer as he kissed you deeply as he snapped his hips back and forth quickly.

You knew he was trying to get out both over the line quickly as you didn’t have time to mess about but as both your highs approached you felt him slow down. Your leg still hooked up over his arm as his other held you at your waist but you moved your hands to cup his jaw so you could look straight into his eyes.

You didn’t know what it was but things felt different. Your wet bodies sliding against each other as you moaned into each other's mouths. Yours eyes all over each other's faces until they settled on looking straight into the others and it was like time was frozen. Just you and the boy you loved as he tried his hardest to push you over the line and you thought you might burst. Stroking your thumbs up and down his neck carefully as you held his shoulders and you wondered how your legs hadn’t given out yet.

You could see it was a lot for him, his skin covered in goosebumps as his dark eyes bore into yours and you knew you were feeling the same feelings. An uncontrollable feeling of love ripping through you for the boy who was resting his head on yours.

‘Y/n.. fuck I-I’ he stuttered, too overcome with emotion to get his words out properly but you just kissed him in hopes he’d relax and keep going.

‘Shhh it’s okay. I know Mase, I feel it too’ you reassured him and the squeeze of you bum let you know he was just as close as you were.

‘God, I love you so fucking much’

��I love you too’ you whimpered, looking back up into his eyes and you could see they’d become glossy. Clearly too stunned with how he was feeling and when he shivered under your fingertips you knew it wasn’t because of the temperature of the water.

You only let yourselves indulge in each other for a few moments longer as you knew you needed to get dry and dressed. Content with holding each other under the water for a few moments before you both got out and packed up. Mason managing to get himself ready a few minutes before you as you were just zipping up your bag when he groaned behind you.

‘Ah fuck’ you suddenly heard. Turning round to face Mason who was sat on the end of the bed and even though he sounded pissed off, he couldn't hold back a smile.

‘What’s up?’ You asked. Finally zipping your bag up as you were all packed and ready to go but by the look on Mason's face you could tell there was about to be another delay.

‘Come here’ he asked, patting the space on the bed next to him and once you’d taken your seat he passed you his phone and your eyes fell to the photo of Mason immediately. One of him in the same outfit he was wearing last night and it only hit you then that it was last night.

‘What’s this’ you questioned, reading through the article as quickly as you could to get a sense of what was happening and every word made you feel cold.

‘Some shit someone’s published about us last night. You’re my mystery woman apparently’ he laughed but you could tell he was a little pissed about it.

‘What?’

‘Yeah, my brother sent it to me and he’s not happy in the slightest’ Mason groaned. ‘Bad for my image apparently. I should have listened to you last night and told him this might be coming I guess’

‘Sorry, Mase’ you pouted, handing him his phone back but he just wrapped his arm around your back and sent you a small shy smile.

‘Not your fault at all gorgeous’ he winked before placing a quick kiss to your forehead. ‘I’m gonna go call him quickly and clear the air yeah? You finish getting ready and we’ll go home’ he told you and you left him to take his call outside. Watching him pace up and down as he spoke to whoever he needed to but you couldn't tell how it was going as he was keeping his expression blank.

‘How did it go?’ You asked as he walked back in and flopped down next to you. Pulling on your waist so you’d lay with him and once you’d settled on his chest he kissed your forehead sweetly.

‘He put me on the phone to my mum, she’s kinda pissed and I had to tell her about you. I know you wanted things kept quiet for now but I couldn’t not say’ he explained and you could tell he was worried about telling you but you knew it wasn't his fault.

‘No don’t be silly, it’s probably better they know’

‘Well I’m not sure about that cause she wants to meet you now’

‘Oh’ you breathed, knowing it was quicker than you wanted it to be but you knew you’d have to face them one day.

‘Don’t worry, I’ll sort it all out okay?’ He reassured you, kissing your forehead gently as he stroked your hair and you couldn’t help but feel calmer about it. He always had that effect on you. ‘You've got nothing to worry about, they’ll love you’

‘I’m not so sure about that’

‘Why wouldn't they? I love you and you make me happy so that’s all they should care about. The rest is none of their business’ he told you and you knew that’s how he saw things as he’d feel the same for his family if it was the other way around but you presumed they were protective over the baby of the family. ‘Trust me, I’m more annoyed than you are, won’t let me keep my girlfriend a secret for more than five minutes’

‘Girlfriend, huh? Who’s she?’ You teased, looking up at him with a smirk and you saw a look of shock flicker over his face as he realised what he’d said until he smiled it off.

‘Well I mean you told me you loved me this morning, I just presumed’ he joked but you could tell he was a little embarrassed about it still and the bridge of his nose flushed red but you reached up to kiss him softly letting him know it was fine.

‘I haven’t been a girlfriend for a long time’

‘Don’t worry, you’re already the best one I’ve ever had’ he winked, the pair of you laughing as he pulled you into his body. ‘Come on, gorgeous. We’ve got a long drive and I think I want some snacks’ he told you and even though you hated to be going you were excited for the drive with him as you’d never been in his car before.

You stopped off in the small Sainsbury’s that was close to the hotel for some drinks and snacks and when you asked what sweets he wanted he demanded one of everything. You let him know he could only have two things though and once back in the car his hand was either settled on your thigh or his fingers were laced through yours.

You were around halfway home when his phone lit up on the dash. His eyes quickly flashing over before you heard him sigh and his eyes flashed to yours.

‘Everything alright, love?’

‘Yeah uh, could you um… could you have a look on Robins instagram? Apparently she’s posted some stories about me’ he asked quietly and you could tell he was upset about it. You didn’t want to look but you were also curious yourself so you quickly found her and your heart broke as you saw them and what she was insinuating.

‘Is it bad?’ He asked quietly and when you didn’t reply he sent you a sad smile. ‘Can you read it to me? Its fine I promise’

‘Fuck’ he breathed, not realising it was going to be that bad and you saw his shoulders deflate as you replayed what you’d said in your head.

‘Mase, it’s a bunch of bullshit, yeah? We both know she’s just trying to get sympathy from everyone’ you told him in hopes it would make him feel better but you knew not much would right now. ‘Why don’t you post something?’

‘Best not, Lew will lose his marbles if he hasn’t done so already’ he shrugged. ‘It’ll all blow over soon I promise, I know the truth, so do you and that’s all that matters to me okay? I’m done with her mind games and I just want to forget her’

‘If you’re sure. But you know if you want to say anything I’ll be the first one there to defend you’

‘I know, sweetheart’ he muttered, turning to smile at you sadly and your heart broke once more for him. He didn’t deserve any of this and you hated how now she couldn’t manipulate Mason she was just manipulating everyone else.

-

You spent the next few days in a slight state of panic until he asked if you were free in the next week to meet his family and you agreed no matter how terrified you felt. Treating yourself to a nice new dress so you’d feel confident seeing them and at this point you didn’t even care if Mason liked it you just hoped they would.

You didn’t have to worry about Mason though, his eyes hanging out of his head when he saw you just like usual and it settled your nerves knowing whatever happened he would be there. He did his usual though and relaxed you, telling you how excited they were to meet you and that you’d have nothing to worry about so by the time you were finally there and out of the car you were feeling better than you had all day.

The vibes were off though as soon as you were in front of them. Mason's Dad, brother and brother in law weren’t there yet as they had to pop out for something so you were thrown straight into the fire by meeting his mum and sister first. The bright smiling faces you were expecting to be looking back at you looked sour and unimpressed and they both appeared to be sizing you up. Unfortunately Mason was either ignoring it or none the wiser, wrapping his arm around your waist as he smiled down at you before looking back at them.

‘This is y/n, guys’ he smiled proudly introducing them to you. Watching them both give you tight smiles and small nods but the two babies made up for it by inviting you into the living room to join in on their tea party. You were a little too afraid to leave Mason's side and you could tell he knew it, but he gently squeezed your hand to reassure you before looking into your eyes. ‘Go on, love. I’ll join you guys in a minute’ he assured you and after a quick kiss to your cheek you took Summers outstretched hand and let her lead the way.

He didn’t leave you for long but you knew he’d followed them into the kitchen. His face set as he wanted to ask them why they were being so cold but he didn’t really get the chance as they started quizzing him about Robin and he refused to talk.

‘Can’t you just tell us what happened?’ Debbie asked, her voice thick with concern for her boy but Mason just shook his head.

‘No, I don’t wanna talk about it, okay? It’s done, I don’t wanna see her again and that’s that’ he said bluntly but he could see Jaz was looking at him through narrowed eyes.

‘Well you’ll have to, she’s coming to mum's birthday’ Jaz said nonchalantly and Mason felt his tummy drop. There was no way in hell he wanted to see her again and he definitely was not having you and her in the same room.

‘You what?’

‘I invited her a few weeks ago and when we spoke the other day she promised she was still coming’

‘Look I don’t know what the fuck you thinking you’re doing but if she’s there then I won’t be’ he told them harshly. The pair of them looking at him like he’d grown two heads as they’d never heard him speak like that to them before.

‘Mason-‘

‘Nah nah, I’m not having it’ he told them. ‘It’s a dick move, I’m your brother and I thought I came first over anyone’ he spat but he could tell they still didn’t get it.

‘Look-‘

‘I’m serious, you don't know how hard the last few years have been for me and you don’t have any right to do this. So you’ve got a choice, her or me’

‘Stop being ridiculous’

‘Not you’re being ridiculous, I’m not talking to you about this anymore’ he declared before standing up abruptly. His chair making a loud noise as it moved back and scraped across the floor but he didn’t give them the chance to reply before he left them to finish lunch and joined you in the sitting room.

His heart broke for you as he caught sight of you sat in a circle with the girls. Mila was currently trying to put a tiara on your head as Summer poured you an imaginary cup of tea and it’s like he was falling for you all over again as you smiled whilst you pretended to take a sip.

He couldn’t take it anymore, needing your comfort more than anything else so he walked in and your eyes found his immediately. He knew you were a little embarrassed but with a quick kiss to your forehead he sat with you and joined in much to the girls' amusement. At least there were a few women in his life who weren’t disappointed in him.

‘They don’t like me do they’ you whispered, the vulnerability in your voice making his heart break so he quickly grabbed your hand and kissed your forehead again. Wanting to reassure you that it was all fine but also wanting to prepare you for the fact that today wouldn’t be as easy as he thought it would be.

‘Don’t be silly baby, they’ve just got the wrong end of the stick that’s all, they’ll be fine soon’

‘Masey? Where’s Auntie Robin?’ Summer suddenly popped up and you wanted the ground to swallow you whole. Thankfully it was only the four of you in there and Mila had no idea what was going on but you were still embarrassed and Mason could tell so he took your hand and placed it in his lap.

‘Robin won’t be around anymore, Sums. We’re not friends anymore really’ he told her simply but that seemed to be enough for her.

‘Okay’ she smiled at him, nodding and pouring tea for everyone before taking her seat in between her bears whilst Mila decided your lap would be her seat today.

Mason's Dad, brother and brother in law turned up only five minutes before lunch was ready. Mason seemed furious at them for being so long but when they came in to meet you they seemed a little more friendly than the women in his life had been. They were just awkward if anything which was to be expected and when they were called into the kitchen Mason let them all go so you could have a few minutes alone together and he could build you up a bit.

When you were both ready you followed Mason into the dining room. Thankful that he hadn’t let go of your hand but you could tell he was pissed about something else and you weren't sure what until he was directing you where to sit.

‘You’re sitting next to Summer’ he told, nodding you over to the other side of the table before following you around. You still couldn't figure out why his face was set so hard until he reached across the table to swap the wine glass in front of him with the water tumbler opposite.

‘Mase-‘

‘I’m sitting here. End of’ Mason spoke. Cutting his sister off before she had a chance to say anything else. Pulling your chair out for you to sit down and you knew this was about to be one of the most awkward lunches of your life as Mason planted his hand firmly on your thigh as soon as he was sat next to you. You knew no matter what, at least you had him there for you as he turned to face you with a smile. ‘What would you like?’

Mason didn’t let you lift a finger. Pouring your drink for you before serving up your food for you and you were grateful as you weren’t feeling very confident at all. He was a gem though and constantly checked in to make sure you had enough and you were okay but it wasn’t the food or anything like that that was the problem. It was the company.

If they were trying to make you feel awful then they were doing a pretty good job. Mason had told you they wanted to meet you so they could get to know you but if you hadn't been there it wouldn’t have made a difference in the slightest. Not once did they ask you anything about yourself or try to include you in the conversation, if anything they were purposefully retelling stories that included Robin but Mason had a knack for changing the subject.

Maybe it was the fact you were on edge that made everything they did and said worse but you could feel yourself shrinking as the time drew on. Not bothering to say anything or rock the boat but thankfully Summer was keeping you entertained so you didn't feel too much like a spare part.

Mason was getting irate though so you slipped your fingers through his. Giving his hand a gentle squeeze to let him know you were fine and you could handle it and you watched his face soften as he looked at you before dropping a quick kiss on your forehead. The small act making your cheeks burn but you knew it was half for his family too, wanting to show them he didn’t care what they were doing and that he was all about you.

When lunch was over you offered to help clear the table but Mason was quick to step in and told you you didn’t need to before ushering you into the garden with the girls. You wondered if he wanted to talk to them privately so he could speak his mind without getting you upset but when he joined you outside five minutes later he seemed oddly calm.

You were sitting on the floor with Mila in your lap when he approached you. Resting his hands on your shoulders as he looked down at you with a soft smile before turning his attention to them.

‘Hey girl’s, mummy just told me she’s got ice cream for you inside if you want it’ he told them, watching the pair of them scramble up and run inside hand in hand.

You weren’t sure if you should get up but Mason was sitting down behind you soon enough. His hands on your waist as he tried to lift you into his lap as he sat crossed legged and once you were settled he wrapped his arms around your middle and rested his head on your shoulder.

You felt your eyes sting immediately, finally alone and able to let your walls down a little bit but when he kissed your shoulder a few times you couldn't help but smile. Yes the whole time you’d been here it had been incredibly tense and awkward but you still had Mason. His head hadn’t been turned by anything they’d said but when he moved you into his lap slightly so he could see your face better you felt your lip wobble.

‘Its okay baby, you don’t have to hold it in around me. No one can see you, yeah? You can cry if you want to’ he told you softly and it's like the curtain dropped as soon as he said those words. Your hands coming up to cover your face so you could let a few tears free but clearly you were more upset than you realised. ‘I’m so sorry y/n’ he whispered, feeling your sobs grow slightly before Mason turned you in his arms. Letting you hide your face in his neck as he held you and stroked your back lightly.

‘It's not you, it’s just…’

‘I know, gorgeous. We’ll get going yeah? I’ll go grab your bag and we can go home’ he whispered but you didn’t want to back out now. You wanted to stick by him and prove to his family that you were the right one for him no matter how hard it might be.

‘No it’s alright, I’ll suck it up’ you told him. Nodding your head and wiping your eyes as you tried to pull yourself together but Masons hands were on your jaw to make you look at him in an instant.

‘No I don’t want you to do that. You shouldn't have to do that. I don’t wanna be here anymore either so we can just go okay? How about I run us a nice bath when we get in, yeah?’ He suggested, knowing how much you loved sharing a bath together and you nodded with a smile as he attempted to wipe your eyes. Thankful you could draw a line under today early and be alone just the two of you. ‘Come on then beautiful’

He walked you to the back door but told you to wait there so he could get your things and you weren’t in the state to argue. You were snotty and your eyes were puffy and you didn’t want them to see that they’d broken you so you let Mason go inside. Watching him march straight into the living room and he was met with his mum's guilty face straight away.

‘Mason-

‘I don’t wanna hear it. I’ve just come to get y/n’s bag’ he told her. His eyes scanning the room to try and find it but he couldn’t see it straight away and it gave her an in to keep talking.

‘Please Mase-‘

‘I’m so fucking embarrassed of you guys, you know that? Couldn’t play nice for a few hours and now she’s in tears thinking you all hate her’ he told everyone. Finally spotting on a chair across the room and making his way to grab it.

‘We didn’t mean for that to happen’ she told him, her voice sounding low and guilty and in the back of his mind he was happy about it. He wanted them to feel shit for what they’d done to you.

‘Well it did. She means a lot to me and I’m not gonna stay here and let you guys carry on making her feel like shit’

‘We’ve got your best interests at heart always Mason, we weren’t awful for the sake of it’ Jaz piped up but he was too angry with everyone to stand and argue any longer.

‘I don’t wanna hear anymore, we’re off’ he told them nonchalantly, picking your bag up from the chair and turning around but he stopped just before the door so he could stick the knife in again. ‘You know I never thought you guys would be like this, she was terrified about meeting you but I told her it would be fine cause I really thought it would be. I thought you’d be there for me no matter what and I’m so fucking ashamed’ he gulped, shaking his head as the he turned away, walking back out the way he came with your bag in hand before meeting you just outside the back door. His heart breaking once more as he took in your sorry state but he adored the way you smiled as soon as you saw him. ‘Come on sugar, let’s go’

‘I should say bye at least’ you told him, not wanting to appear rude and make them hate you even more but Mason just shook his head and pulled you along.

‘The don't deserve it. Come on, you're fine’ he told you, pulling you round the house by the side gate until you reached his car. Opening the passenger door for you to climb into and before you knew it you were off. Your heart sank at the way things had gone and you couldn’t stop yourself from silently crying the whole way back. Today had felt like a disaster but Mason kept his hand in yours the whole way home and deep down you knew things would be okay.

The pair of you had your bath, Mason letting you cry a little more until he was trying his hardest to make you smile. It didn’t take much as it came natural for you to be happy around him and by the time you were going to bed you were feeling just about okay again.

-

Mason was in the shower the next morning when the doorbell went. You were sat on the sofa in your pjs still as you ate the toast he’d made you a short while earlier and you froze at the sound before Mason's voice rang through the air.

‘Can you get that, baby? Should just be a delivery’ he called so you got yourself up and dusted the crumbs off of your body before answering.

When you opened the door you weren’t expecting to be met with the face of Debbie. You knew your face was one of shock but hers was one of sorrow and guilt and you almost felt bad for her so you gave her a tight smile in hopes she knew you were okay.

‘Hi love’ she smiled sadly but you didn’t know what to say to her. ‘Is Mason here? I think it’s best we all talk’

‘He’s in the shower’ you whispered, unsure if you should let her and if Mason would want to see her but she was his mum at the end of the day and you didn’t want to make her hate you anymore

‘Maybe you and I could talk first then? I think I owe you an apology’ she gulped so you nodded her in and took her to the kitchen. Offering her a cup of tea that she gladly accepted before you took a seat opposite her.

‘Sorry I’m still in my pjs, I don’t normally dress like this’ you laughed, trying to make light of the situation but she just smiled at you softly before her face grew serious again.

‘I’m sorry for the way I acted yesterday, well the way we all acted really. We’re very protective over Mason, too much sometimes, and we were just a bit concerned. He’s not spoken about what happened with Robin and we’ve only had her side of the story so I’m guessing we got the wrong end of the stick. We just assumed the worst after that article came out and we weren’t sure about your intentions’

‘I get that’ you nodded sadly, deep down you knew why yesterday had gone the way it had and that you would have to prove yourself so you started here and now while Mason wasn’t around to tease you. ‘I need you to know that I love your son a lot’

‘I know’ she told you sincerely, ‘and you know what, after seeing him with you yesterday I can see how much he loves you’ she confessed. ‘I’ve never seen him act that way with someone. We’ve known Robin since she was 14 and she’s like a daughter to me but he’s never looked at her like that’

‘He’s had a lot going on that he should have told-‘

‘What’s going on?’ You suddenly heard. Looking over to see Mason walking in fully dressed in his comfies ready for your sofa day but the sight of his mum sat in his kitchen clearly wasn’t what we was expecting.

‘I’ve come to talk’

‘You better not have upset her’ he grumbled, coming over to touch your shoulder protectively but you just placed your hand over his and nodded to the chair next to you and opposite his mum.

‘Mason sit down, it's okay’ you laughed, his eyes lighting up at the way you didn’t seem sad in any way so he took a seat and kept your hand in his.

‘Right, I want the truth okay? I know we weren’t the best yesterday but I need you to be honest with me about what happened with Robin’ Debbie told him and you knew Mason didn’t want to. You wondered if some gentle encouragement might help and when his eyes met yours you sent him a soft smile.

‘Come on Mase, I think it’s for the best’ you offered, hoping he’d listen to you but Debbie clearly knew her son and was ready to guilt her way into him talking.

‘You used to tell me everything’ Debbie pouted, looking down and huffing slightly and he clearly knew what she was doing as he rolled his eyes with a little smile.

‘Yeah well this is shit, I don’t wanna keep reliving it and talking about it all the time’

‘Well let’s make this the last time then’ she told him, reaching over the table with her hand up in hopes he’d place his in hers and after a beat he did. Looking up to see his eyes full of tears at the thought of hashing everything out again so you took his other hand in yours and gave it a gentle squeeze in hopes it would give him some courage.

‘I don't even know where to start,’ he sighed. ‘Things with Robin had been bad for a while but i didnt wanna give up you know? Didn’t wanna throw nine years of a relationship away but she made it impossible’ he gulped. ‘I know I told you I bought this place for Woody to stay in as an investment but that was a load of shi- sorry a load of rubbish’

‘What do you mean?’ Debbie frowned and you looked at Mason quizzically too but his eyes were glued to the table as he fought to get his words out.

‘I’ve been living here. I’ve probably only been in the house a handful of times lately cause I needed my own place to stay’

‘Why though?’ Debbie whispered, confused as to why he’d lied to her and you knew the floodgates were about to open.

‘Cause I couldn’t stay at home. She kicked me out all the time over the most stupid things like I can’t even begin to explain but I was always on edge around her. You know, wondering what mood she was in and if I’d be allowed in my own home that day’ he told her and you watched as her face dropped.

‘She didn’t love me in the end, mum. She loved what I could give her. We were kids when we met and we grew apart but she was comfortable with the life I gave her and didn’t want to give that up. You wonder why every time we went out there were pictures? She always called the paps like she wanted everyone to know I was hers so no other girls went near me’

‘Why did you stick around for so long?’ She asked quietly, her voice sad but understanding and you could see how upset she was for her boy.

‘Looking back, I’m not so sure. She had a knack for making me feel awful about her mistakes so I was the one who would always go crawling back to apologise. It was just this weird cycle I couldn’t get out of until I’d just had enough. I get you were trying to protect me yesterday but it was from the wrong person’

‘I think we were just a bit confused. This seems to have happened really quickly’ she nodded before her eyes were flickering between the pair of you be she was smiling softly. ‘So how did this happen then?’

‘It’s my fault, Robin ended things with me and I told myself that I was done and moving on but I didn’t explain everything to y/n at first and when Robin whistled I went running back like i always did cause I’m a moron’

‘So you didn’t… you didn’t cheat did you?’ She whispered and even though he knew why she might have come to that conclusion he was ready to defend himself even if he had been a bit wrong.

‘No way, I would never do that’ he told her. ’I get the lines are blurry and it doesn’t sound great, it’s not how you raised me at all but I’d never do that. I hate talking about it cause I sound like a dick but I only went to y/n when she’d broken up with me and I never told her I had a sort of girlfriend in the beginning’ he huffed.

‘I’m not proud of it, at all. I’m ashamed at how much I hurt y/n when she’s only ever put me first and shown me love. This thing with us, it’s not what Robin said okay? This isn’t just me spreading my wings for a bit, y/n is it for me and that’s why I thought it would be okay for you to meet her cause I know she’s gonna be around for a long time. But Robin got you like she got me and made you believe something else. You know if anything I cheated on y/n, went running right back into the fire after she offered to give me everything cause deep down I didn’t think I deserved her’ he told her honestly and your heart broke for the boy you loved. His eyes finally meeting yours and the soft look in his eye made you melt. ‘But she stuck with me, no matter what I did or how awful I treated her. She was there for me and all I want to do is make her life as easy as she makes mine feel now’

‘I wish you would have been honest from the start’ Debbie huffed, making the pair of you look back at her and even though you could see she was hurting for him you could see that twinkle in her eye that you knew that she could see there was something special between you. ‘Look I’m your mum okay, it’s my job to protect you. But for once I don’t feel like I have to anymore. That’s your job now, yeah?’ She smiled at you and you felt your heart soar at how much she was trusting you.

‘I promise I will’ you reassured her, feeling Mason squeezing your hand under the table as he knew this was a big deal after yesterday.

‘I know you will’ she nodded. ‘You have been for a while by the looks of things. I’m not going to sit here and say I saw this coming from a mile off cause I really didn’t but I could tell something had changed lately. I thought you and Robin had just finally hit your stride’ she huffed rolling her eyes. ‘I really am sorry for yesterday and I’m sorry for taking her side. I would say she can expect an earful from me but don’t worry i’ll leave it’ she laughed and you could tell Mason was happy to put everything to bed.

Debbie stayed for a little while longer, the three of you talking how you imagined you would be the day before and you felt like you made a good second impression. Debbie giving you a big hug before she left and you let her and Mason have a few moments alone while you got settled on the sofa.

You see how much lighter Mason looked when he came back to join you, the smile on his face was permanently etched there throughout the rest of the day as you stayed cuddled on the sofa. Watching all his favourite movies in between naps and plenty of stolen kisses until he couldn’t keep his hands off you and you ended up having sleepy sofa sex as he rested his head on yours and told you how much he loved you repeatedly.

It was just before dinner when things went a little south. You knew something was coming as it always did with you two. Like god was testing you to see how much you could take and because things had been too perfect for you all day he was ready to throw a spanner in the works. You’d just nipped off to the bathroom it finally happened and you felt you heart drop as the shock ripped through you.

‘Ughhhh Mason! What the fuck!’

‘What?’ He called, his voice getting closer as he ran towards where you were and you smiled as you knew he’d probably find it funny.

‘You left the bloody toilet seat up, I nearly fell in’ you shouted back, adjusting yourself as you laughed it off but when you were finished and you finally opened the door, he was sitting on the bed like a deer caught in the headlights. You didn’t take much notice of it at first and made your way over to him but as you got closer you could see the panic all over him. ‘Seat down when I’m here remember’ you teased, trying to get him to smile but your words had the adverse effect.

‘Sorry’ he gulped his eyes falling to the floor as he played with his fingers and you weren’t sure how to take his reaction.

‘It’s alright’ you whispered, taking a seat next to his to hopefully catch his eyes but he’d withdrawn himself completely and didn’t even react when you took his hands in yours.

‘Do you you, um… do you want me to take you home?’

‘No? Why would I want that?’ You asked but he just shrugged his shoulders softly.

‘Cause I did something stupid and annoyed you. I thought you might want to be away from me’

‘Mase, baby, you forgot to put the seat down, you didn’t kill someone’ you told him softly, the hurt across his face only really hitting you then as you realised what might be happening. The pain of his past so evident and your heart sunk that you made him feel that way again.

‘Sorry I just-‘

‘You don’t need to explain’ you whispered ‘I’m so sorry, I was just having a laugh I didn’t even think’ you explained and you watched him take a breath as if he wanted to say something else but the words never came. In the end he just gripped your hand and looked back up at you hopefully.

‘Let’s just forget it then, yeah? He asked hopefully, letting you pull him into a kiss that you both smiled into and even though you knew you both felt a bit rubbish about what had happened you knew you could move on from it fairly quick and reassure Mason that he’d never have to leave you.

The rest of the night went without a hitch and you were determined to make it up to him. Cooking him dinner and even making him a special dessert that he sat and ate it with the biggest grin on his face. The happiness was so evident on him and you felt accomplished that you could make him smile by just treating him how he should have been all along.

The treats didn’t stop there and you changed the bed sheets whilst Mason was in the shower. You knew he loved the feeling of fresh ones but it was also a treat for yourself as his were much softer than yours and after a little bit of a struggle you undressed yourself down to your knickers before crawling inside as you loved the feel of it just as much.

You weren’t in there on your own long, Mason sneaking his way out of the bathroom shortly after you’d gotten comfy and the feeling of Mason pressing himself against you made you shiver. The sensation of his warm skin on yours was second to none and you almost had to hold in a moan at how good it felt to have him next to you.

When you felt his lips on the back of your neck a content hum fell from your lips as you shivered. You knew he’d been waiting to get his hands on you again properly but there was a little voice in the back of your head that was stopping you from getting you fully involved.

When it came to sex, Mason was the king of being unselfish and made sure he gave you exactly what you wanted even at the detriment of his own pleasure. He knew what to say, what positions you loved and sometimes you could tell he wasn’t feeling it as much as you were but he was so into making you feel good that he didn’t care. Doing whatever he could to push you over the finish line before he took care of himself but you were about to change that tonight.

Because even if he didn’t care about putting himself first, you did and as he kissed his way down your back you began to hatch a plan so you could repay him for all the times he’d made you the priority.

As much as you didn’t want to as you adored the way he was touching you, you rolled over and sat yourself on Mason's lap. His hands reaching round to grab your bum as your thighs wrapped around his and you could feel he was hard for you already. Only the thin material of your underwear separating you as Mason hadn’t bothered to put on anything at all after his shower and right now you were glad.

‘What do you want, baby?’ He asked, pulling you further into him as his hands wandered over your naked back and back down to your bum so he could give it a squeeze and you had to hold yourself back from rocking your hips over him as his touches were turning you on so much.

‘Well I was about to ask you the same, what do you want’ you asked, the question catching him off guard a little but he shook it off and sent you a teasing smile.

‘I want whatever you want’

‘Come on Mase, let me do something for you’ you argued and you knew this was about to be a battle that you wouldn’t win easily.

‘Sex isn’t about what I want’ he smiled but you just rolled your eyes at him cause you knew he’d always thought this but tonight you were going to make it all about him.

‘Yes it is, come on tell me. What’s something you’ve always wanted to try?’ You asked him but he was frozen and you knew his mind was blank.

‘I don’t know… how about you sit on my face?’

‘No, that’s not allowed’ you told him sternly and you knew right away he wasn’t happy about it.

‘Why not’ he laughed ‘you said I can pick what I want, that’s what I want’

‘No you don’t, you just picked that cause you know I like it’ you told him, shimming back down his legs before placing yourself in between them. ‘How about I get started while you have a think yeah?’ You asked but you didn’t give him a chance to reply before lowering your naked chest to the mattress and taking him into your hand so you could guide him into your mouth.

‘You really think I’ll be able to come up with anything while my dicks in your mouth- oh fuck y/n that’s it’ he breathed. His fingers automatically coming to your hair so he could brush it out of your face and when you made eye contact you knew you were driving him crazy.

Mason didn’t ask for head that often, only when he was feeling lazy and you forgotten how much you loved having him in the palm of your hand. The way he just surrendered to you immediately as he moaned and groaned with every flick of your tongue made you feel like you were in charge of him and you let yourself get lost in him. Making sure your bum was sticking up high in the hair so he’d have something to look at but when you looked up at him his eyes were fixed in the corner of the room until he was back looking at you.

‘Come on Masey, tell me what you want’ you demanded after coming off of him with a pop. Using your hand to work him as you took a moment to get your breath back but now you’d given him a taste he seemed to be more comfortable with asking for what he wanted.

‘I want you on top’ he breathed, rolling you off him slightly so he could lay down a bit as you took your underwear off but you noticed his head was still propped up slightly.

‘Okay’ you smiled, attempting to climb over his lap but his hands on your hips stopped you in your tracks.

‘Wait’ he suddenly breathed, face cautious as he thought about whether or not he should say what he wanted to but you nodded at him encouragingly to let him know it was fine. ‘Other way’

‘Okay’ you smiled, trying to hide your own nerves as you’d never done it this way before but you did as he asked and settled over him your your back to him, trying to line yourself up with him but when you looked up, the first thing you noticed was the mirror had been moved from the corner of the room and Masons eyes looking back at you through it. ‘You’ve moved the mirror?’

‘Uh, yeah’ he laughed, moving his head back around so you couldn’t look at him though it anymore but when you turned your body slightly to face him you could see how red his cheeks and nose were.

‘You were watching me earlier weren’t you?’ You laughed and he covered his face with his hands before he was laughing too.

‘Yeah I was’ he confessed. ‘I got a glimpse of you the other night and I wanted to try it today. I like seeing you from all angles’ he winked and you felt your tummy flip at how hot you found it but before you could say anything else he was sitting up fully behind you. ‘Now I know you wanna make this about me but I think you might need a bit of help okay?’ He told you. Wrapping one arm around your waist before settling the other on your upper thigh and you knew what was coming as he began to kiss over your back.

You watched his hands move in the mirror, gently tracing his fingertips up and down your thigh before touching you exactly where you needed him to. Tracing over your clit a few times before dipping his fingers inside you and the growl that left his lip made your head spin.

‘This wet just from giving me head, yeah?’ He whispered before playfully biting your side. And you instinctively felt your hands travel up to your chest as you rocked your hips over his fingers. ‘You like it that much I’ll put you to work more often’

‘Fuck, Mase’ you moaned, a shiver rolling through you at just how turned on you were and you couldn’t keep your eyes away from the mirror that was just off to the side. Your eyes constantly meeting Mason's dark ones and the sight of the pair of you was driving you wild.

‘You see yourself, yeah? Can you see what I see now?’ He asked. ‘I’m so fucking in love with you, you know that?’

‘Mase please’ you whimpered, starting to get overwhelmed with everything that was happening but he knew you were ready now. Laying back down and positioning your hips over him before he was guiding himself inside you and pulling you down further into his lap.

You froze for a second or two, not really sure what you were meant to be doing as you'd never done it this way before but with Mason's hands on your bum guiding you, you began to move your hips and the first moans fell from his mouth.

That was all it took to spur you on to keep going. That mixed with Mason's dirty mouth and the image of him sliding in and out of you in the mirror. You’d caught eyes with him a few times as his eyes were flicking between looking at you in the mirror and watching your bum bounce up and down on him. His hands gripping your bum every so often and you knew he was getting close as he bucked up into you.

‘You wanna cum, Mase?’ You asked, the pair of you staring each other down through the mirror and you could tell he was almost done just by how dark his eyes were. His nose red and flushed whilst his hair stuck up in all directions and you’d sworn he never looked so good.

‘I can’t fucking hold it’ he whimpered, the sound of his voice pushing you to where you needed to be and all you wanted was to reach your highs and melt into each other like usual.

‘It’s okay, I’m right behind you’ you told him, the knowledge that you’d been able to work him up into this state had pushed you closer to the edge than you realised and soon enough you were fluttering around him as he held your hips and bounced you on top of him until he was shuddering beneath you.

It was awkward trying to get you off of him and laid next to him without making too much of a mess but you managed it. Curling yourself into his side and resting your head over his frantic heart that you felt start to slow as soon as you were both comfy.

‘Hey Mase?’ You whispered and he looked down at you softly. His brows raised as he was unsure about what you wanted to say but as soon as you spoke your favourite smile returned. ‘I’m in love with you too’

-

It was a rare few days that the both of you had off when things took a drastic turn. You knew things had been too perfect lately and something was bound to push you off track but never did you think Mason would be up to his old tricks again.

You were doing your skincare in the bathroom as Mason took a quick shower. His phone face down next to yours on the counter and when the sound of multiple texts came through and yours didn't light up, you realised it must be his.

‘Is that my phone or yours gorgeous?’ Mason shouted from inside the shower so you quickly flipped his phone to confirm it was actually his.

‘Yours’

‘Can you see what it is? I don’t wanna get my hands wet’ he told you. Popping his head from around the curtain and his cheesy grin made you giggle.

‘Just a load of texts from Lewis’ you confirmed and he nodded at you before disappearing back behind the curtain.

‘Can you see what he wants’ he asked, shouting the code to his phone for you to tap in but you were stood in shock for a few moments at the fact he’d actually told you how to unlock his phone before you did it and to your surprise it worked. ‘You done it?’

‘Oh um yeah, he’s just confirming about the charity event next week?’ You told him. Trying to hold on the wobble in your voice as you were so unsure and felt like you were invading his privacy.

‘Ahh okay, can you message him back for me? just say thanks and I’ll call him in a bit’ he told you and without thinking you quickly replied with what he’d asked you to. Wanting to lock his phone as quickly as you could as it felt so strange to me using it

‘Okay, done’

‘Thank you baby, I’ll be out in a minute yeah’

‘Okay’ you told him before leaving and getting ready for bed but you couldn’t seem to wipe the smile off of your face.

When Mason eventually joined you, you could tell he was looking at you in amusement. Clearly unsure as to why you were grinning like you’d just won the lottery and when you both climbed into bed he pulled you into his lap so your legs were laid across his thighs with his arms around you and your heart thumped at how he looked down at you.

‘What you smiling at, pretty girl?’

‘You gave me the code to your phone’ you whispered, smiling even wider like a cat that got the cream as he looked down at you and soon enough his face mirrored yours. ‘No ones ever given me the code to their phone before’

‘Well I’ve got nothing to hide’ he told you sinserly, ‘And you can use it or look on there whenever you want to, yeah? I’ll be honest it’s a bit boring but you’ve got free reign’

‘Is it just you and Woody sending each other heart eyes all the time?’ You teased and thankfully he laughed as he ticked your sides.

‘You’ve caught me’ he laughed, dropping a heavy kiss on your lips before pulling back to look at you seriously. ‘You can trust me, you know that right?’

‘I know’ you nodded, and you really thought you could.

The fact he’d given you the code made you not want to bother looking. You knew he had nothing to hide and he’d given you no reason to think anything different was going on until one night after work around a week later you were staying with him again. Mason was taking a call on his work phone in the conservatory when his personal one began to ring beside you and when you looked down at the screen your skin prickled uncomfortably.

Robin? Why was she calling? And why was she still saved in his phone with a heart next to her name and a photo of them all over each other? you wondered. Letting it ring until the call ended before a few texts poured in and your curiosity got the better of you. Punching in the code as quickly as you could with your heart pounding in your ears to try and see what she’d said.

He text her from his other phone? And he was meeting her tomorrow? Surely not this must be some sort of trick she’s playing but the heart by her name and the picture of the two of them making out was making your head spin and you didn’t know what to do.

Mason's voice was soon booming through the house, letting you know he was getting closer so you quickly locked his phone and put it back where it was just in time for him to end his call and take a seat next to you. You tried your best to act casual and like you hadn’t just uncovered his secret but you forgot he could read you like a book and gave you a confused look as soon as he saw you.

‘You alright, gorgeous?’ He asked, his voice full of concern as he wrapping his arm around you just like always but you hid yourself in his body and nodded your head.

‘I’m fine, just sleepy’ you told him, not wanting to say anything and call him out of it really was nothing but you couldn't lie and pretend you hadn’t seen what you had so when he offered you an early night you took it. Noticing how he was reading over messages on his personal phone when you slipped into bed but his brows were drawn and his face fallen as he typed out his replies.

‘You still have that meeting tomorrow after work?’ He asked as he got settled behind you. His arm laying loosely around your tummy as he spoke into your shoulder and you could only muster a nod. Not trusting your voice in case it broke but he seemed happy enough with your reply. ‘Okay, well I’ve got dinner with Rasmus tomorrow night so I might not see you’ he told you and you wondered if this was just a lie so he could go and see Robin. If it was a lie he was horribly good at it.

He was asleep soon after you said goodnight, however you laid there awake for hours. Worrying about what tonight might hold and if he was seeing her again behind your back. You knew you should have said something but in a weird way you wanted him to do it. At least then you’d have the evidence and when you didn’t hear from him for a few hours at around 5pm the next day you could only think of the worst possible scenario.

Much to your delight your meeting was cancelled and rather than go to Masons flat like you were planning on to surprise him you just went home. Wanting to be in your own bed and you laid there with the hump. Wondering what he was doing now or who he was with but after a quick look on Twitter there was a photo of Mason and Rasmus with a fan from half an hour ago and you felt even more confused.

You knew he’d sent you a few texts to see how you were and where you were but you’d left them all unanswered. Not really knowing what to say and if you wanted to see him but at around 9pm you heard the door open downstairs and you know it was him. Making use of the key you’d given him two weeks ago even though you now spent most of your time at his.

‘You here sweetheart?’ He called, hearing him walk around downstairs but you didn’t reply, laying on your side away from the door as you pretended to be asleep just in case he came upstairs and soon after you heard him jogging up the steps and your door opening.

‘Baby? Baby are you- oh shit’ he whispered, his voice getting quiet when he realised you were asleep before you heard him go across the hall to the bathroom. You wondered if he was getting himself ready to come and join you and shit all you wanted was the feeling of his arms around you to make you feel better you could also feel your heart shattering in your chest.

When he eventually came back you knew you were tense so you tried to relax but you could hear him undressing behind you before he slid behind you and his first touch made you jump.

‘It’s okay, it’s only me’ he laughed but when you tried to curl into yourself more so you could hide from him, his tone shifted instantly. ‘Baby? What’s happened? What’s wrong?’ He asked, trying to tighten his grip on you as you pulled away but you couldn’t fight him off. In the end you just face planted the pillows so he couldn’t look at you as the first sobs fell from your lips. ‘Hey come on, just tell me’

‘I feel like an idiot’ you told him, giving up slightly and letting him turn you but you sat up so you didn’t have to lie down with him.

‘Why baby? What's happened?’

‘Where have you been?’ You hiccuped, finally looking over to see him and watching his face drop ever so slightly ‘Just tell me, don’t treat me like I’m stupid. Were you really just with Rasmus all night? ’

‘Baby, I don’t know what you think is going on-‘

‘I know you went to see her, or you’re planning on it at least’ you confessed and it’s like you watched his heart break right in front of you. ‘How could you, after everything?’

‘Look at me, please baby let me explain’ he whispered. Gripping your jaw gently to tilt your face up and in the end you caved and looked at him. This was the explanation you wanted so you might as well hear him out. ‘She’s moving out of the house. You know I said she could stay while she looked for something else? Well she’s going now and I had to meet her so she could sign everything over to me’

‘What?’

‘Yeah, there was some stuff in her name and we said we’d sort it when the time came. I just didn’t want you worrying or panicking so I didn’t say anything but now I realise that was stupid of me cause it’s made it all worse’

‘Oh’ you breathed, the tension lifting off you immediately but you could feel your tears coming thick and fast as you realised everything was fine.

‘I know I’ve still got a lot to prove, but you know I’d never-‘

‘I’m so sorry’ you sobbed, head falling into his chest as he took you in his arms but he just held you and let you cry. Knowing you probably needed to get your emotions out. ‘She called you and I went through your phone. I’m so sorry I know you said it was fine but I get if you want to change the code now’

‘Not at all’ he whispered into your hair before he gripped you tighter. ‘I told you I’ve got nothing to hide and you can look where you want’ he whispered. ‘But baby if you see something or are worried about anything then please talk to me okay? Cause I can assure you it’ll be nothing’

‘I feel like an idiot. I just panicked’

‘I know gorgeous, it’s okay’ he told you but you didn’t feel like it was. You felt like you’d royally messed up even if he was looking at you like everything would be okay.

‘Please don’t be mad at me’ you whispered. Your lip wobbling as you thought you’d ruined everything but he just smiled at you and held your jaw so you had to look at him and you felt your heart rate slow down as he softly stroked your cheek.

‘Hey no, no I would never’ he told you softly. ‘I’m more mad at myself for just not being honest and getting you in a state. I thought i was doing the right thing’

‘I just didn’t want you to think I was insecure but maybe I am’ you shrugged sadly and you could see how much it hurt him to hear you say that as he knew his actions were the cause of it. ‘Its okay, Mase. It’ll just have to be something we work on together’ you told him. Resting your hands on his shoulders so you could stroke his neck as you knew it calmed him but he still looked heartbroken at your confession.

‘I hate that I’ve made you feel like this’

‘Masey it’s okay, it’s just something we’ll have to work on together okay?’ You smiled at him. ‘It's just a blip but we’ll get through it. We always do’

‘I promised myself I’d never make you cry because of me again’ he gulped and your heart broke before you pulled him into your arms. The both of you sad but latching onto the other for comfort and the feeling of him breathing you in made you relax.

‘Let’s just use it as a learning curve, yeah? We just need to communicate more and we’ll be fine’ you told him. Your fingers getting lost in his hair so you could massage his scalp and when he nodded into your neck you knew you’d both be fine. ‘I love you so much, Mason’

‘I love you, too’ he told you. Pulling back just enough for him to kiss you tenderly and when you suggested getting comfy to sleep he let you lay down before resting his head on your chest. ‘We’ll be okay’

‘Of course we will be, we always are’

-

You were on the phone to Mason on your lunch break two days later when you bought up dinner with a friend but much to your dismay he couldn’t go with you.

‘I might not be able to make it baby, I’ve gotta get stuff boxed up and moved back into the house’ he explained and a feeling you couldn’t describe swirled in your tummy.

‘Oh?’

‘Yeah she’s moving out on Wednesday so I can move back in finally’ he told you and you could hear the excitement in his voice already.

‘Oh wow that’s quick’ you told him, thankful he couldn’t see your face as you weren't exactly sure what expression you had on right now. Still processing that you’d have to take on this whole new part of his life when you were so comfortable in the current version.

‘Yeah I thought Thursday maybe we could go there? Stay the night like get settled and get you used to it there. What do you think?’ He asked and you didn’t know why but the idea filled you with dread. You knew the plan was always to move back in once she was out as that was Mason's home but now the time was here you weren’t sure how you felt about moving into somewhere that was so full of her.

You brushed it off though, trying to be positive about the situation, telling him it was a great idea and it was fine until he was pulling onto the drive and you felt awkward immediately.

If you thought his flat was nice then this was a whole different game. You’d never seen a house like this before and even the driveway felt bigger than your whole flat.

Even from the outside you could get a feel for how nice it would be inside. The size and scale was overwhelming and you knew it was well taken care of as all the plants and lawns on the outside were in perfect condition but you had a sneaky suspicion none of that was down to Mason.

He was dying to get inside though and as soon as the car was off he was jumping out. Looking up in what only can be described as pride at his home before he was searching for you and holding out his hand for you to take.

‘What do you think?’

‘Its huge’ you whispered and when he wiggled his eyebrows at you suggestively you rolled your eyes at him with a smile.

‘Come on, let’s go in’ he laughed but you felt yourself stuck to the floor until he was pulling you forward. ‘You want the tour?’

‘Okay’ you nodded, trying to send him a smile but it felt forced and he could see you were nervous so he kissed the back of your hand before walking you inside.

It was huge, five times the size of his flat and you knew you’d get lost in there eventually. But it wasn’t just the size of it that was throwing you off, it was all of Mason's memories that were attached to it.

It was homely in a way that Mason's flat wasn’t. There you could tell it was made for a man to live in whilst this place had a woman’s touch all over it. The empty picture frames a reminder of maybe what used to fill them and the bunch of flowers in the hall made your tummy squeeze.

She was everywhere you looked, from her water bottle that was conveniently left in the kitchen to some of her skincare in the bathroom. You didn’t feel safe from her anywhere and the longer you walked around the worse you felt.

It was like taking a tour of his old life, the one you both wanted to forget, but Mason seemed to be in his element. Walking around and finding things he thought he’d lost and telling you silly stories from moments when he lived there but thankfully they only involved him or Woody.

You couldn’t deny the house was beautiful, loads of bedrooms so all his family could come and stay and a cute cinema room with massive cushions and a big fluffy blanket but the smell of what you could only presume was Robin’s perfume was lingering and you felt your eyes sting. You wanted to be as excited as he was but you just couldn’t.

After the grand tour he went and grabbed your bags from the car. You ordered food in the end, sitting on the sofa as he told you about all the changes he wanted to make that he was never allowed to and you began to relax as thoughts of her left your mind. Hoping you could maybe one day erase every part of her and not think about her being there in every corner of the room you looked.

You could feel yourself relaxing as the night went on but you knew what time it would be soon and your heart was racing but not in the usual way Mason made it.

‘You wanna head up to bed, love?’ He asked, kissing your cheek softly as he stroked your arm but you didn’t reply. This was the part you’d been dreading but when he pulled you up you went with him, following him up the stairs and into the bedroom and once you were in you froze.

Everything was wrong. The smell in the air did nothing but remind you that this used to be their shared room and it was clear that she’d been living here for a while. Thankfully the sheets looked fresh but you still felt uncomfortable about it so you took your time in the bathroom getting ready for bed but the empty products of hers in the bin made your eyes sting.

Once you were ready and couldn’t waste any more time away from him you joined him back in his bedroom. Watching him undress down to his boxers and jump right in, clearly wanting to get comfortable as quickly as he could so you could cuddle like you’d promised him all day but you were frozen to the spot.

That was their bed and this was their room.

He’d picked his usual side, was that always his side? The thought of you getting in next to him was too much for you and you just wanted the ground to swallow you up completely.

‘Baby? Is everything okay?’ Mason asked. His voice soft as tilted his head to look at you, but you kept your eyes on your hands as you played with your fingers.

What were you supposed to say?

In the end you heard him move, climbing out from under the covers so he could make his way to the end of the bed and sit on the edge. Beckoning you over to him again but this time you went to him. Letting him sit you on his lap as he kissed your temple and you felt a shiver roll through you.

‘You don’t wanna sleep in here, do you?’ He asked quietly, gently tilting your face up so you’d look at him and the understanding look on his face made your heart break.

‘Sorry’ you sniffed, trying to keep your bottom lip from wobbling ‘I just-‘

You were cut off by the feeling of him sweeping you up in his arms and walking towards the door. A slight giggle coming from your lips that he laughed at before he walked you down the hall and into one of the spare rooms that you’d been in earlier so he could pop you on the floor gently. Wrapping his arms around your waist slowly and only then did you look at him properly, a soft look on his face and you knew you had to explain yourself a little bit.

‘I don’t know how to say this without it sounding awful but I’m struggling being here a bit’ you confessed and a sad but knowing look crossed his face. ‘I know she’s gone but she’s everywhere I look, it’s like one in one out’ you joked but you knew your comment had hit him hard.

‘I don’t mean for you to feel like that at all, baby’ he whispered before kissing along your hairline softly.

‘Do you want me to take us back to the flat? I don’t mind’

‘No it’s okay, I’ll be fine here’

‘She’s never slept in here i promise. This was my room for a bit when we first started arguing, before I got the flat. It's also Summers room when she stays’ he told you and you felt a lot better about being in there.

‘Let’s sleep here then. Make some new memories’ you smiled at him and you could see his shoulders relax now he knew you were happier in here.

‘I love you so much, you know that right?’ He whispered, trying to reassure you as best as he could but you felt a lot better already knowing that he understood.

‘I know’ you smiled, watching his face relax ever so slightly. ‘And I love you just as much’

-

You didn't see Mason for a few days as you were both busy with work but when you had some time Mason invited you over to the flat. You wondered if he’d ask you over to the house but you couldn’t say you weren’t relieved to turn the key in the lock and find him cooking for the pair of you in the kitchen.

Once you’d both eaten you let him find a movie for the pair of you as you went to the loo but as soon as you returned you could hear him finishing up a call and he gave you a sly wink as you sat yourself down next to him.

‘Who was that?’

‘Estate agents. They’re gonna come take pictures of the house tomorrow’ he told you nonchalantly but you weren’t about to let him say that without an explanation.

‘What, why?’

‘Cause I’m selling it’ he smiled and you knew your face was one of shock.

‘What? Mase no I didn’t mean-‘

‘No no, you were right’ he reassured you. Wrapping his arm around you and pulling you further into his side. ‘That house is too full of memories i’d really rather forget so I’m getting rid and we can start fresh yeah?’

‘Mason…’ you whispered, not believing what you were hearing but he was just smiling his usual goofy smile and you knew you’d be okay.

‘I’m gonna start looking for some new places but why don’t you have a look too? We can go and view them together but there’s no rush cause we’ve got here in the meantime, but this next place I want it to be ours okay? So think about what you want and don’t want’

‘Are you sure?’ You giggled. The prospect of living together officially hadn’t really crossed your mind yet even though you spent every night together and the thought of looking for a home together thrilled you.

‘C’mere’ he whispered, pulling you further into his lap and all you wanted was to kiss him. ‘What did I say on our first date, huh? I’m in this for the long haul, remember. I know it’s a big step and we can wait until you’re ready but we spend all our time with each other that we can anyway and it can only be better once we’re finally together under the same roof’

‘I can’t believe we’ve made it to this point’ you laughed, trying to keep your tears at bay as you seemed to cry at the drop of a hat these days and you wanted to keep yourself in check but Mason's cheeky smile was helping and you knew he was about to make a stupid joke. That’s why you loved him though.

‘We’ve come a long way, huh? And I can’t tell you how excited I am to be so far away from any neighbours’

‘Your neighbours aren’t bad here’

‘Yeah but now I’ll get to fuck you without everyone hearing’ he whispered against your cheek and a loud laugh fell from your lips.

‘Masonnn’ you groaned, trying to act like you were annoyed with his dirty words but you couldn’t ignore the way your tummy flipped at the thought of being able to fully let go with him and try new things. You’d always tried to be quiet here as you knew the walls weren’t exactly thick and as you tried to hide in his neck he just held you tighter to him.

‘Sorry baby’ he laughed, pulling away so you couldn’t hide your face and when you looked up at him he kissed you deeply before chucking. ‘Do you wanna go and have really quiet sex?’

You didn't say a word, just giggled onto his lips before pulling away and leading him into the bedroom so you could take care of him just how he’d liked it as since you’d bitten the bullet and asked what he liked, you had discovered a new found love for pleasing him.

He still fought you on it, letting you know he wanted to make it all about you but every so often he let you have your way and tonight was about to be one of those nights whether he liked it or not.

You knew he loved it though and when you were both knackered and spent you laid facing each other in bed as he held you to his body. Both sharing a pillow as your noses just about touched and the way he was looking at you like you hung the moon was making you blush.

‘I love the way you love me’ he whispered suddenly, feeling his thumb brush along your jaw as his nose bumped yours lightly. ‘I hope I can make you feel how you make me feel’

‘How do I make you feel?’ You asked, your voice just loud enough for him to hear and even in the dark you could see his eyes twinkling. Wanting to spill the contents of his brain and heart to you as he was feeling everything for you right now and all you wanted was to let him know you felt exactly the same.

‘Safe. And understood. Like loving me is easy’ he confessed, your heart breaking at the way he didn’t believe he was good enough and you quickly pressed a kiss to his cheek in hopes it would make him feel even a tiny bit better.

‘That’s cause it is easy’ you told him, feeling him relax as he let out a breath he’d clearly been holding for far too long and when you heard him sniff you knew he was getting a little emotional. ‘Why do you think I fell for you in the first place, huh? Loving you is like breathing to me. I don’t even have to think about it, it just happens and I fall more and more for you every second I’m with you’

‘I don’t deserve you’

‘Yes you do. You deserve to be loved just like everyone else is’ you told him and you almost smiled at how emotional the pair of you had become. ‘I know you've never had someone prove that to you but you do Masey. You’re the kindest and most gentle man I’ve ever met, you make me laugh more than anyone else ever has or ever will do. You’re my world, and my life is so much better with you in it Mase. I love you so so much’

‘I love you too’ he whispered. His voice thick as he tried to hide in your neck so you turned onto your back a little and let him rest his head on your chest. Your words had hit him luck a truck and he swore he’d never been so in love with anyone or could ever be again. You flipped his world upside down in the best way possible and he couldn’t help but spill his guts to you. ‘I never thought I’d feel like this about someone, I know it’s early but I’m gonna marry you one day’

‘Oh yeah?’ You laughed, scratching his head gently whilst trying to make out that you weren’t as affected by his words as you were but you knew your heart was thumping right under his ear.

‘Oh yeah, get the proposal in my head already’ he joked as he squeezed you a little tighter. ‘I just don’t ever want us to end, you know? You're my home and I’ve never had that before. We’re twin flames, remember?’

‘I remember’ you whispered, kissing his head gently before he was looking up at you in awe again.

'Can I tell you something silly?' he asked, his voice quiet in the silent room but you heard him loud and clear and wanted him to know he could tell you anything.

'Of course you can'

'Sometimes when I think about you I feel so full of love I just wanna burst like I can't contain it' he laughed and you squeezed him tightly to your body thinking he was the most adorable thing before he looked away again out of shyness. 'I can feel it right now like I don't know what to do with myself'

'Look at me you laughed, wanting to see his face again as you spoke and when his gentle eyes landed on yours you let your mouth run away with you. 'I feel like that too, a lot actually. I know we didn't take the easy route, but I wouldn't change anything for a second okay? All of this shit we've gone through it's just made us stronger and you're worth every single tear I've ever cried so please don't ever say you don't deserve me cause I love you in ways I can't even love myself' you confessed. Watching his eyes glaze over and you told him everything he’d ever wanted to hear but little did he know you weren’t done yet.

‘At the end of the day, it’s all about finding your person and you, Mason, you are my person. The person I want to spend the rest of my days laughing with, crying with. The one who I want to come home to and fall asleep next to every single day and I hope you don’t ever forget that’

‘Your my person too’ he whispered, overwhelmed by everything you’d said and you knew you had to break the ice a little bit.

‘I better be’ you winked but he just rolled his eyes as he sat up slightly so he could hover over you.

‘Can I take that as a yes then?’ He smiled, referring to him mentioning that he wanted to marry you earlier but even though you knew what the answer would be already you didn’t want to inflate his ego at all and you knew he already knew the answer.

‘You’re too much’ you laughed, pulling him back down next to you so you could hold each other again but as he got settled back next to you on the pillow you knew deep down he’d never be too much for you.

Thank you so much for making it this far and finishing. I really do appreciate it and I hope you loved reading it as much as I loved writing it. Od love to hear what you thought so please do let me know as it would make my day 🩷 love you guys xxx

[frudoo]

I really like your writing! I'm so glad I found your page. I was wondering if I could do a drabble or little one shot ask about the 141 boys (poly or individual doesn't matter either way) I just had this idea because there's so many ideas about the boys not thinking they're good enough for their girl but what if it was the opposite way and I was wondering what you'd think their reactions would be.

The idea is that their girl is on the phone with her friend thinking they can't hear her talking (maybe they were asleep or out for a run or something) and her friend asks how things are going with them. Their girl full on gushes about the boys to her friend and her friend is like "oooo sounds like love to me! Have you told them yet?" And their girl is like "I... No of course not...They can't love me, I couldn't possibly expect them to."

This is long but thank you for listening to me ramble!

PLEASE I got so sappy with this one I just couldn't stop my fingers from typing. Also you're such a sweetheart <333

Warnings: Mentions of self-doubt, food, mentions of sex. Fem!Reader. MDNI.

Kyle Garrick:

     Kyle’s had a long day, and the man just wants a proper cup of tea. He starts down the hallway, but when he hears his name coming from your room, he stops dead in his tracks. He knows it’s wrong, but he can’t help but crack your door open to eavesdrop a bit. 

     “I’m telling you, he’s perfect! When I have a bad day, he’ll take me out for coffee, or we’ll go for a walk or just look around the pet store. Sometimes he’ll even do my laundry! It’s- it’s not a crush anymore. I’m in love with him,” you ramble on to your friend, who’s giggling with glee over the speaker of your phone.

     “Well, have you told him?” She questions excitedly, and you go quiet for a moment.

     “Of course I haven’t. Why would I? It’s not… it’s not like he feels the same. I’d just be hurting myself,” you reply sadly.

     Kyle frowns deeply, and he’s almost positive he can physically feel his heart breaking. God, he’d rather fall out of another helo than ever hear you sound so distraught again. He wants nothing more than to barge into your room and pull you into his arms, kiss away all your doubts and prove to you just how much he loves you. Instead, the sound of your voice brings him back to reality. 

     “I think I’m gonna grab a snack. It was good talking to you,” you hang up the phone and open your door, surprised to see your roommate standing right there. “Kyle! Shit, did- did you-? I’m so-”

     “Y’mean it?” Kyle asks softly, not wanting you to feel embarrassed.

     Even so, you sheepishly nod your head, unable to meet his eyes. His warm hands cup your face and lift your head up to look at him, and he smiles so warmly that you can’t help but do the same.

     “Silly girl. I love you, too.”

     John Price:

     The base was dead today, barely any paperwork to do or new recruits to train. For the first time in months, John was able to get off on time, and he decided to surprise you with a bouquet of flowers and your favorite Indian food. When he arrives at your flat, he uses his spare key to unlock the door and steps inside, kicking off his boots—ever since that one time you playfully lectured him on keeping your home clean, he’s engraved the rule into his brain.

     John sets your gifts on the island in your kitchen, glancing around for any signs of where you could be. You’re definitely home, he can tell that much by your keys dangling off the holder and your own shoes by the door. He carefully steps through the hallway and hears your unmistakable voice in the bathroom, along with the quiet sound of running water. He goes to turn the handle but decides against it when he hears his name slip from your lips.

     “God, I love John so much, you don’t understand. He’s everything I could ever want. Every time I see him, I just- I wanna kiss him stupid, y’know? I mean, shit, he’s already seen every part of me since he’s my best friend and all.”

     “So… when are you gonna tell him? It sounds like he’s interested, babe,” your friend’s voice rings through your phone. “Best friends don’t normally just see each other naked.”

     “Oh, stop it. There’s no way he could feel the same. I’m just… I couldn’t ask that of him. It wouldn’t be fair.”

     John’s heard enough. He trudges back into the kitchen and fixes your plate of takeout, as well as a glass of wine and some chocolates. He arranges the food on a tray and brings it back to the bathroom, not even bothering to knock before walking inside. You scream, and normally he would laugh, but he’s so hurt that you think you’re unworthy of his love, and he’s dead set on proving otherwise. 

     “Do you always scare the shit out of people you’re trying to surprise?” You laugh, hand resting on your chest as if it’ll calm your beating heart.

     “Only the one I’m in love with, sweet girl.”

     Simon Riley:

     “M’gonna step out for a smoke, love,” Simon informs you, and you nod politely.

     The coffee shop is a little too crowded for Simon’s liking, and he needs a break. Your company is the sweetest he could ask for, and he feels bad leaving you for even a second, but the demons in his head were begging for an escape. Still, he stands by the window where your table is located just so he can keep an eye on you. Call it a weakness, but when he sees you messaging your friend, he can’t tear his eyes away from the conversation. Thank the heavens for the little slip-up the café made, having the one-way windows installed inside out.

yeah he’s like,,, stupidly perfect

it’s like he’s trying to make me lose it???

like sir i’m already in love with you

what more do you want

lmaooo why haven’t u told him yet????

he’s obviously in love with ur dumb ass too

oh fuck off

you know we’re just friends

don’t give me hope

     Simon frowns deeply, tossing the butt of his cigarette on the ground and crushing it with his boot. He’s spent his whole life in shackles, deeming himself unlovable, unworthy of anything good or sweet or kind. But when he met you, those thoughts dissolved like melting snow—he even took the mask off for you. He didn’t even know it was possible to love somebody so much, so to have the one person he adores more than anything in the world doubt herself? He won’t have it. 

     He reenters the coffee shop in a hurry, long legs striding over to you as quickly as possible. Before you can even react, he leans down to press his lips against yours, hands firmly on your face to keep you still. When he pulls back, he’s near tears looking at your shocked expression.

     “I don’t love y��like a friend. I love y’like a man loves his wife, like you’re the air I breathe. I’ve always been yours, y’hear me? Always.”

     Johnny MacTavish:

     Johnny’s expecting to feel your warm body beside his when he wakes, but instead he’s met with the soft thud of his arm onto the unoccupied sheets where you should be. He frowns and rubs the sleep from his eyes, checking his phone—it’s only 4:00 in the morning, and the sun isn’t even out yet. You’ve obviously not been in bed for a while, and it worries him. Did you leave in the middle of the night, all by yourself? Shit, what if something bad happened to you?

     Johnny hops out of bed and quickly pulls on his jeans from last night, starting a frantic search through his house. You’re not in the bathroom, or in any of the spare rooms, not even the sunroom where you love to cozy up and read a book. The last place he thinks to check is the kitchen, and lo and behold, there you are, brewing some coffee and talking on the phone to someone. Your best friend, he realizes, when you put the call on speaker to pour yourself a cup. 

     “It’s just… last night, he told me he loved me, and it- I don’t know. It ruined me. I couldn’t even finish, I had to fake it.”

     Johnny freezes and leans against the door frame. His stomach feels sick suddenly—did he really fuck up that bad last night? God, he knew he should have just kept his mouth shut, but he figured there was no better time to confess his feelings for you while he was… well, inside of you. He really thought you felt the same. Your little sniffle drags him out of his thoughts, and his eyes land on your now crying figure once again.

     “N-no, you don’t understand. I know he just said it because of the sex. I’m not… he couldn’t love me. Not the way I love him. We’re just friends who happen to sleep together sometimes. It’s my own fault for catching feelings when he- he deserves someone so much better,” the break in your voice destroys Johnny and all he can do is listen as your best friend calms you down.

     He doesn’t make a move until you’ve hung up. Only after you’ve set the phone down does he come barreling in, wrapping his strong arms around you, ignoring your shriek of surprise. Johnny pulls back to cup your face in his hands, thumbs wiping away the fresh tears that managed to slip past your waterline.

“Ye’re the only one ah want. D’ye understand? Ye’re the only one fer me. Ah meant wha’ ah said, hen, ah love ye. There’s no’ a force on this earth tha’ could make me want ye less. Ye’re mine, alreit? As much as ah’m all yers.”

[eustasskidagenda]

Okay, this post is not based on a request. I kept thinking about it for hours and finally decided to write it down: how the OP characters would text their s/o. So here are some texting headcanons for some of my favorite characters: Eustass Kid, Zoro, Sanji, Law, Sabo. I'll probably write a part 2 with my other beloved characters: Luffy, Marco, Killer, and Robin. :D

☆Texting HCs for Kid, Law, Sanji, Zoro & Sabo

CW : g/n reader, MDNI, Kid is cursing, fluff, funny, partly nsfw, mention of alcohol for Zoro 

WC : 2k

Kid

Your name/photo in his contacts: mine. With a photo of your ass, obviously. And when he's mad at you, he renames you mid(ge).

Such a brat.

His wallpaper: a cool photo of his motorbike (I'm sorry but Kid is that kind of man in love with his own bike/car. But it's okay, he's still my favorite.) Or, a pic of your ass.

What kind of pictures are in his gallery: your ass, random photos of your face when he’s teasing you, his bike, and some punk stuff (music, makeup, outfit etc.)

His fav emoji : none.

He likes to send really, really shorts messages. Like : 

"Hi" "u know" "i have an idea" "So listen:"

Goddam Kid, just write the WHOLE sentence in one message.

He's sending you random pictures of his torso, just to flex with his big tiddies.

And you have to respond with a heart emoji and praise him each time.

If you want, he's more than willing to send dick pick too. 

Again, you have to praise him. Even if the pictures are absolutely non-aesthetic. He's blessing you with his cock after all. 

"Babe, you don't know how to take beautiful pics of your dick." "WTF SHUT UP???????? It's MY dick???!!! OF COURSE IT'S BEAUTIFUL??!!!" 

Yeah, Kid is clearly using extra punctuation. 

Oh, sure, each morning, you receive a mirror selfie of his outfit of the day. Such a punk fashion icon. "Rate my outfit on a scale of amazing to amazing" 

He doesn't use emojis because they sound too soft and stupid. "em0teS aRe f0r s0fT b0ys Y/N"

If you complain about his messages looking cold, he might use random emotes to annoy you like "UgH iF U wAnt 🦬" (with that stupid dumb sponge bob meme)

Whenever he calls you, it seems like he's yelling through the phone. 

He likes using caps lock like "HEY Y/N, WANNA FUCK TONIGHT??????" 

He's sending you random punk/rock music. And you have to listen and react to every single music, otherwise he's so pissed off. He is sharing his world with you, the less you can do is interact with him. 

He also loves sending some pics of what he's working on, because Kid likes to repare/custom some cars or motorbike. 

And last thing, I like the idea of Kid Pirates being a punk music band, so sure, Kid loves to send you some videos of him playing guitar. "My fingers are skilled in three things : music, crafting and fingering you all the fucking day long"

His phone is so damaged because he throws it every time he gets angry (like every two minutes).

Law

Your name/photo in his contacts: y/n-ya. With a cursed picture of you. Just to tease you with it. 

His wallpaper: nothing, just the random by default home screen. In his view, wallpapers are useless and pointless.

What kind of pictures are in his gallery: random pictures you took of him, emo memes, and boring stuff about medicine or basic hygiene rules for Luffy. And a guide to "how to stop screaming and how to control your anger: a guide for children" for Kid. 

His favorite emoji: 🖕🏻

Whenever you annoy him with a stupid joke or a prank you saw on TikTok, his immediate reaction is to block you. He's so annoyed, please, leave him alone. He is immediately aware that it is a prank. Luffy always does the same to him before you do.

He's never using capital, it's for the emo aesthetic, like 'I hate bread'. Nope. But ✨"i hate bread."✨, yeah, much better

And yes, he uses "." everytime, it's for the dark and tired emo aesthetic. 

He always leaves a group conversation as soon as you include him. Please, he's so pissed off by those kinds of things. 

He's able to leave your message seen for days. Just because he was busy and forgot about what you said. If you need an answer, sure, try to call him. He always keeps his phone in silent mode. 

He likes to send you cool articles that he reads. Especially about medicine, tattoos or nerd stuff like movies, books, games etc.

"wanna go to a date tattoo with me tomorrow?" 

That kind of question is clearly his love language

He enjoys teasing you with random photos of his tattooed fingers or chest. "I bet you miss these fingers." And yeah, he's clearing curling his fingers on the pic like he would do when they are inside you. He's really good at teasing you with photos. 

Kid and Luffy steal his phone whenever he's with them. So be ready to receive a lot of ugly pictures of Law (taken by the chaotic duo), middle fingers from Kid, and blurry meat pictures from Luffy. 

Poor Law deserves a break.

Sanji 

Your name/photos in his contacts : 💗💘🛐Mon Amour (my love)🛐💘💗 With the most beautiful picture of you. 

His wallpaper : a cute couple photo.

What kind of pictures are in his gallery : a lot of cooking videos or photos, you, aesthetic pic of the sky and a private album with some hot nudes that you sent to him.

His favorites emojis : 💘💗💖🛐💍🧎🌺🌸🌹🫦🥰😘🧑🏻‍🍳🍽🍷🥘 (yeah, Sanji LOVES emojis)

He's always texting you back. If he can't reply within a second, he won't open the text. Sanji, leaving his beautiful s/o with that awful "seen"? Never. 

All the mornings "good morning sweetheart 💘" and all the evenings "sleep well sweetheart, dream about me 💖"

He wants to take a cute and aesthetic pic of the both of you all the days. 

He bombards you with pictures of his cooking. It's cute, but also annoying because he can't help but send extra long texts. He describes every single action he did, along with recipes and tips. 

He enjoys seeing your outfit of the day. He can attempt to match his clothes to yours. 

Random "I love you 💖" and "if no one told you you were pretty today : you're the prettiest 🥰" 

He enjoys sending you cooking videos. "We should eat this tonight. What do you think? 🧑🏻‍🍳"

He's pretty good at sexting. He knows how to take aesthetic photo of his hands, back, or mouth. Not just an ugly dick pick (Kid, Zoro, I'm looking at you). And he also likes to leave you some message like.

I would sit you down on this table if you were with me right now. You know, the one in your kitchen where he had dinner with your parents yesterday? I would gently kiss your neck, fondle your chest, and slowly kneel between your legs until you shout my name. You would pull on my hair, begging me to keep going until you cum repeatedly on my face.  👅 "

And if you send him a nude, well, he's going to die from a nosebleed.

Rest in peace, Sanji. 

Zoro

Your name/photos in his contacts : "y/n". You pick a picture for him because Zoro and phones are not compatible.

His wallpaper : a cool katana

What kind of pictures in his gallery : gym selfies, katanas and alcohol (all with ugly quality)

His fav emojis : 👍🏻 and 😴 Like:

"hey Zoro, you're alright" 👍🏻

"Zoro, wanna hang out?" 😴

"Babe, what are you doing?" 😴

"… am i annoying you?" 👍🏻

He can responds to absolutely anything with those two emojis. 

Zero is so oblivious, so let's be honest: he is not good at using phones. Almost every day, he forgets his phone at home. And even if he didn't forget about it, it's probably on silent mode or just off.

He doesn’t know how to use the keyboard, so prepare yourself for coded-message like "o!. @= sp⛑t t🧹day???/!df🆎e !!"He can't even use the excuse "my cat walked on my keyboard", he just sucks with technology.

Your messages are often "seen ✔️" and that's all. Not because he wants to be mean, just... he didn't understand the concept of answering every text. He takes all of your messages as random information. Like "Hey, I'd love to see you tonight!". Well. OK. Message understood. That's all.

The only application he has on his phone is Google Maps. Even with it, he still gets lost. "Turn left." Without a doubt, he turns right. 

Once, he tried to please you with a dick pic. But the photo was just terrible: bad luminosity, an ugly close-up of his cock, blurred as fuck, and you can see the dirty tissue behind him.

He doesn't answer when you call him because he's either asleep or at the gym (or drunk).

Once, he also tried to send you a voice message, but it was just the sound of the wind. He forgot to talk closer to the microphone.

Sabo 

Your name/photos in his contacts : "my revolutionary 🎩💛". With a beautiful pic of your smiling face. 

His wallpaper : a symbol of revolution. 

What kind of pictures in his gallery : petition screenshots, his brothers, you, anti-capitalist memes and a private album with some hot pic of you (naughty Sabo)

His fav emojis : 🔥✨🖕🏻💛✊🏻😡😏😎🤩👉🏻👌🏻🫵🏻

Sabo is... complicate. Sometimes, he doesn't answer for WEEKS. And sometimes he's extra chatty. And when he's chatty well...

Sabo is always spamming you with petition links. "Save the dolphins", "save the monkeys", "fuck capitalism", "for the resignation of *insert random politician name*" 

"Hey sweetheart, manifestation tomorrow. See you there!! 🫵🏻" 

When it's not petitions, it's probably videos or articles. Sabo is a pure revolutionary. Be prepared to receive lengthy texts when he wants to fight for a cause. It's cute, honestly. He's really involved and passionate. 

"You, me, on a trip tomorrow?! 😏"

Sabo has a knack for surprising you with trips, so prepare yourself. This man craves adventure and surprises. He wants you to join his crazy journey. 

Sometimes, he's using proper grammar and punctuation, sometimes he's using a lot of !!!!!!!!??????? And caps lock. Especially when he's furious about something.  He makes a lot of typo errors because he's always in a rush while typing.

Let's fught  *figrt *fijkt *FUCK *LET'S FIGHT (and fuck)

He enjoys taking pictures of you unexpectedly because it makes you seem more natural. 

"So… sweetheart… we have a new roommate" with a cute pic of a dog/frog/duck/snail/whatever. Sabo has a kind heart. If he sees a wounded or abandoned animal, he feels obliged to adopt it.

And regarding spicy texts… 

Sabo is a kinky boy. So sure, he's thirsty when it comes to sexting/nudes. As a revolutionary, he is also very careful. He always asks you first before sending you nude or spicy texts. If you're willing, then prepare yourself.

A bunch of nudes. Since he's good with them, he won't display his dick in a weird and unattractive angle to you. He enjoys showing you his hands when he's wearing his gloves. Or a mirror photo of his back.

"I know you will scratch it when I'll fuck you tonight 😏"

You're not forced to send him nude or spicy texts back. He respects your boundaries without exception. And if you send him a photo anyway, he's also really nice. Always a comment like "your ass is soooooo good with this angle. I can't believe I'm that lucky 🥵" and if he wants to save a photo for his collection, he's always asking if it's okay with you.

"Sweetie, i have a new toy for you… 💛"

We all know what he's talking about. Naughty Sabo.

[thedevilspearl]

asking them stupid questions — all brothers

a/n: having a hard time writing smut atm so here’s some silly headcanons with the brothers. i was really tired when i proofread this so there may be some mistakes.

tags: 2k words, no gender specified, reader x lucifer, mammon, leviathan, satan, asmodeus, beelzebub + belphegor. (belphie’s is a little suggestive).

𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑

lucifer has had enough.

it’s been a long day and he wished for a quiet night in his office to relax with some tea while overlooking the bills his brothers have riled up.

but he’s quite distracted tonight.

peace and quiet is not an option. especially with you loitering, floating around his office and touching all the trinkets and décor. you’ve never shown interest in them before, but tonight, all of a sudden lucifer’s office is the most inviting place in the world.

“mc?”

“yes, honey?”

“is something the matter.”

there is a painstakingly long silence before you answer. “….no.”

letting out a little sigh, he asks, “are you quite sure?”

you hum with a subtle nod, barely looking him in the eye and he is now certain something is wrong.

“mc, please. if you aren’t feeling well, you can tell me about it. you don’t need to make this difficu—”

“would you still love me if i was a worm?”

“what?” lucifer’s voice croaks.

“it’s just that i felt sad thinking about how you might not love me anymore if one day i turned into a worm and couldn’t turn back into me.”

“mc, in what world would you ever turn into a worm?”

“most likely this one. remember that time mammon accidentally turned me into a sheep in spells class? i was cute as a sheep, so it was okay. but as a worm, i’d be small and slimy and gross. i’d be unloveable.”

“that is enough,” he rises from his chair, speaking with command but still gentle enough to not upset you further. “you shouldn’t think of such things. it is so silly of you to think i would ever stop loving you.”

“luci….”

“if i must spell it out for you, then yes. i would still love you if you were a worm and i would carry you everywhere with me to ensure you’re never lost or hurt. i would need something small and protective to carry you in, but yes. i will always love you.”

𝐌𝐀𝐌𝐌𝐎𝐍

“if there was a zombie apocalypse and i was bitten, what would you do?”

“hah?!” mammon’s face contorts at your random question. “what are ya talking about?”

“i’ve been thinking about that movie we watched….the zombie one. and just wondered what it would be like.”

“gave up on surviving already, did ya?” he chuckles, collapsing onto his bed beside you, his hand resting on your waist.

“no, but i wanna know! what would you do if i turned into a zombie?”

“well….what are the options?” his smirk earns him a playful smack on the chest. “hey! i’m serious. i’ll be so sad that i won’t be able to think straight, so ya need to give me some options.”

“fine,” you pout, scratching your brain for solutions. “i suppose the most humane thing to do would be to kill me. you know, to make sure i’m not forced to live as a mindless zombie eating other humans.”

“okay….”

“or you could tie me up, maybe chain me, and keep me alive by feeding me living people.”

“why would i keep ya around if you’re gonna stink like a rotting corpse?”

while mammon laughs, your brows furrow with annoyance, mostly feigned but there’s a small sense of hurt in there when you think about mammon not wanting to keep you after you turn into a zombie, despite it being completely logical and reasonable.

“hey,” his voice is soft as he leans over and kisses your cheek, “don’t worry. i’d handcuff us together and let you bite me. then we can be zombies together and never be separated.”

𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍

movie night always means one thing, and that’s you and levi curling up with tangled limbs and a hoard of cushions and blankets. a joint blanket burrito with little space between you but that’s a good thing.

the closeness makes it cosier.

tonight, you opted for a more emotional movie. a romance, but romances are always emotional for both of you. that’s why you try your best to stay away from the romantic movies and stick to action packed fantasies or sci-fi’s that are the furthest thing from romance.

but there was a new and popular movie making the headlines and levi couldn’t wait to watch it. you knew watching it was a lost hope, and now you’re sobbing in levi’s arms watching the struggles the love interests are going through to get to each other.

“i’m so glad it wasn’t that difficult for us to be together,” you sniffle, feeling a wave of gratitude take over. “i love you, levi.”

“i love you, too,” his voice trembles and he quietly wipes his own tears.

“hey, levi?”

“what is it?”

“can i wipe my nose on you?”

“what? no!”

too late. you buried your head into his chest, wiping your face clean and covering his favourite shirt in snot.

“gross!”

“i’m sorry. i wanted to get a tissue but they’re too far away. i didn’t want to leave the burrito.”

“it’s fine,” he grumbles, begrudgingly patting you on the head to tell you it’s okay despite ruining his shirt. “let’s finish the movie.”

𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐍

“would you still love me if i told you the truth?”

satan tries to hide his piqued interest, like he usually does. he likes to come off as the too–cool–to–show–i–care kind of guy but the truth is, he is more invested in this truth than anything else.

he nonchalantly turns the page of his book and with a swipe of his tongue over his lips, he asks, “what truth?”

“that i’m really a lizard.”

well, he wasn’t expecting that.

he watches you intently over the pages of his book. you stop pacing around the library and make your way to him, showing no expression on your face. usually, he would be quite good at reading your face but in all honesty, he can’t tell if you’re serious or not.”

“a lizard?”

you nod. “a lizard.”

“you don’t look like a lizard.”

“that’s because i’m a lizard pretending to be a human.”

“a what now?” he shuts his book, sitting upright from his laid position. he tried his hardest not to give in to your silly but mysterious notion but he is far more interested in your explanation.

“you know about the lizard people, right?”

“i do not.”

“so i just exposed myself for nothing?”

“what in the devildom are you talking about?”

“it doesn’t matter. forget i said anything. if anyone finds out i told you, i could get killed.”

“please tell me that isn’t true.”

silence.

you refuse to even look him in the eye. surely, you are joking. there’s no way you’re really a lizard, let alone it be possible for lizards to be secretly living inside of humans. what kind of conspiracy would that be?

it’s unimaginable, even for demons. but whether the lizard thing is true or he’s falling for a joke, you still need an answer to your question.

“yes,” he pulls you into his side. “i would still love you if you were really a lizard.”

𝐀𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐔𝐒

“asmo,” you sing the demon of lust’s name, catching the attention that he would devote to you at any given moment. “can i ask you something?”

“go ahead, my dearest. fire away.”

he winks, hoping it would be something on the more flirtatious side, but instead you fill his mind with a grotesque image.

“what would you do if you could never touch me again?”

he immediately smothers you with a hug. “what are you talking about?! of course, that would never happen!”

“but what if?” you snuggle into him further. “what if you could never touch me?”

he hums, thinking of any solution to be able to touch you again.

“i’d cry,” he says simply. “i’d cry a lot.”

“aww,” you pout. “i don’t want you to cry.”

“and i don’t want to imagine a world where i can’t hold you like this,” he kisses your lips, “where i can’t kiss you like this,” he lifts up your hand and intertwines your fingers with his, “where i can’t hold your hand like this.”

“asmo….”

“i don’t know what would ever cause me to never be able to touch you again, but it would be the end of my world if it came true. i don’t know if i’d be able to live.”

“you’d still be able to see me and speak to me.”

“but not being able to touch you when i see you and hear you is the most painful torture imaginable. but you know what that means, right?”

“what does it mean?” you squeal and his hands tickle your sides.

“it means i need to do all the touching i can now to make up for it!”

𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐙𝐄𝐁𝐔𝐁

“hey, beel?”

“yeah?”

your quiet voices fill the dark path home from rad. beel always walks you home; be it in comfortable silence or deep conversations, you don’t imagine walking home any other way.

and the quiet air of the evening provides the perfect chance to ask him a question you’ve been waiting to ask all day.

“can i ask you something?”

“sure.”

“if i had five million cheeseburgers and you could only eat them if you slapped me in the face, what wou—”

“i’d slap you in the face.”

“i didn’t even finish my question.” you yelp, brows furrowing in frustration.

“you don’t need to finish it. i’d do anything to eat that many cheeseburgers.”

your feet plant in the ground and beel doesn’t stop walking until your hand which holds his pulls him back.

“are you serious?”

“uhmm….i think so?”

you’re grateful for the fact that he’s rethinking his answer but it was a shock to hear him say he’d slap you so firmly in the beginning. it was a stupid question to ask in the first place, but you never imagined beel ever wanting to hurt you.

he tugs on your hand and you continue walking with him, picking up the pace to get home.

“mc….” he asks. “did i say something wrong?”

his obliviousness to his own words is a harder slap in the face than the slap he promised those five million burgers.

“you said you’d slap me, beel, and it makes me sad.”

“hm….we can go halfsies on the burgers?”

“huh?”

“i’ll slap you and then we can share the burgers.” he promises. “you’d feel bad because i slapped you. and i’d feel bad because i slapped you. so to make it better for both of us, we can split the cheeseburgers.”

you look at him, astounded because you don’t know if his explanation makes his answer better or worse.

𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐏𝐇𝐄𝐆𝐎𝐑

a cuddling session in the attic with belphegor is exactly what you needed after a long, draining day. you naturally made your way up to him as soon as you had some free time, desperate for his warmth.

but belphie had a different warmth in mind with all the kisses he litters up and down your neck.

“belphie, i’m tired.” you whine, but still urge him on to kiss you harder.

“then close your eyes. i’ll kiss you until you fall asleep.”

your heart swarms with the thrill of his words, the promise of being here and showering you with affection even on your worst days.

“is something wrong?” he asks.

“no. why?”

“you’re not falling asleep.”

“that’s because you’re kisses are keeping me awake.”

“they’re meant to help you fall asleep.”

“i hate to break it to you belphie, but they’re having the opposite effect.” you tease.

“is that so?” he nibbles you ear. “what about this?”

you arch into his body, sensitive from his kisses and now the more urgent movements of his lips ignite a fire in your belly. his lips graze you, teeth nip you and tongue swipe over your skin. he sucks hard enough to leave bruises, and kisses softly on every mark he leaves.

“belphie….” the soft whisper of his name catches his attention. “how many ghosts do you think are watching us right now?”

he ceases for a moment, then lifts his head from the crook of your neck. “what?”

“what if there’s ghosts watching us right now? and what if they keep watching us while we….you know….?”

“i never thought of that before.”

“it’s weird, right?”

“definitely. let’s never have sex again.”

[jjkarmy091]

Second Best- Jungkook (part 8 )

Summary: Being friends with someone who has your heart it’s already hard, let alone when that special someone ends up falling in love with your best friend, the one you think would never make anything to hurt you . Will you be able to ignore it and move on? what will happen when everything gets too much for you to handle?

Genre: Friends to lovers; angst; body insecurities; bullying; friend betrayel;

Pairing: Jungkook x female!reader

Wordcount: 5.781

Author's note: It took me a lot but here it is. Got so many blocks writting this and I'm not satified with it. It doesn't matter how many time I write and rewrite it, it feels like it's never good enough but I tried my best so please go easy on me. Hope you like it and let me know if you want a next chapter or not. Also: I'm sorry for any mistakes

Love you loads <3

When Y/n woke up the next morning she could swear her head was gonna fall off. It was one of those headaches it makes you wanna clung onto the bedsheets and never leave ‘till the next day. Flashbacks of the night before went through her brain but she brushed them off. She wanted to enjoy the few days she had taken, yet she’s still thinking about the same. She thought she was doing a good job but Taehyung’s words didn’t really help too, she definitely was going to face Sewoon with all these facts. Y/n always chose kindness over anything else but would all of that have gotten her anywhere? Looking back, she had serious doubts about that. 

Getting up from the bed and heading to the bathroom she notices everything is still very quiet which means Lisa is still asleep. Y/n wants to do something nice for her so she decides to make a huge breakfast once she knows that food is Lisa's undoing and starts preparing things without making too much noise (or at least trying to). Everything’s almost ready when Y/n listens to steps aproaching the kitchen/living room area as she pours some orange juice in Lisa’s cup saying good morning. Lisa looks at her and smiles, answering her back and sitting down.  

“what’s all this?”  

“It’s just a way to thank you for being such a great person to me. I know I've been hard to handle these last days but I want you to know that I truly feel grateful for everything you’ve done for me so far. If it wasn’t for you I don’t know how things would’ve ended up for me, I’d probably be crying in my room, thinking how much I suck because the guy I’m in love with doesn’t love me back” 

“I told you Y/n, it’s completely fine. I always liked you. You bring such a positive vibe and you’re so kind and fun to be around. It’s good to be around you and if I can help you somehow I will.” A few minutes of silence passed until Lisa asked what she was dying to know. “Did you talk to him?” Y/n stops suddenly, swallows hard and shakes her head.  

“No” 

“care to explain why?” 

“I’ve been thinking about your words and you’re right! I have to stop being a pussy and be real with myself and my feelings, not for others but for me. All this mess started because I'm always comparing myself to others all the time. I was so scared that Sewoon and Jungkook would meet and I was the bridge for them to start something. I allowed this. If only I wasn't so afraid and had more confidence in myself maybe it would be me in Sewoon's place and that kills me inside Lisa. For once in my life it would have been simple and sincere and I'm the only one to blame for this."

"What makes you think he was never interested in you Y/n? Because from what you told me it seemed to me that he was quite into you” 

"He definitely wasn't Lisa, you're confusing things. He found my attitude towards him funny when we first met, I don't know. But he never showed any signs, he never said anything and I was afraid of destroying the friendship we were building by saying something. He even used to go on dates. At the end he would go to the coffee shop and we would talk about it and stuff.” 

Lisa frowned “So he went on dates but never hooked up with them afterwards? a boy in his prime, with basic needs and would always come to you afterwards? You never found anything weird?” 

“For what he told me he had just gotten out of a complicated relationship. I think he was more interested in meeting new people, go out for a bit, clear his head.” 

“and come back to you in the end” Lisa mocks while Y/n throws a piece of bread at her, hitting her in the forehead. “Don’t be annoying” 

“Y/n you may not understand much about boys but I do and that's not normal for someone who don't have feelings for you. At best, he would go home.” Y/n drank some of her juice. "stop it! if that was true he wouldn't have gone straight to my supposed best friend. Why would he do that if he was interested in me?  The way he looked at her, how he said she was the best thing that ever happened to him and that he would never be able to love anyone the way he loves her. Not to mention what he did for Sewoon. She told me some things and all I could think about was how I wish it was me instead. I hoped it was me but I'm a coward, that's why I'm still here, 23 years old and a virgin. Even in that regard, Sewoon was lucky.” Y/n looks at her plate, trying to avoid eye contact with Lisa, knowing that would be enough to make her start crying but kept talking

“How she described the way he touched her, grabbed her, how he -- in short, everything. There was this one time she couldn't stop talking about how and where they did it so I invented that I was super busy and couldn't talk so she could leave and I could cry in peace. I swore never again.” 

“After everything Tae told you do you still think things are as Sewoon says?” Y/n didn’t answer, instead she got up and started taking the dishes onto the table, washing them. Lisa got up too, leaving her plate in the sink "always listen to things with a hint of doubt but specially with your heart." Y/n decided to change the subject. 

“What are we doing today?” Lisa laughed “let’s introduce you to this place the right way. See something else than snowboards” With this they got ready for the day. Lisa already knew the place with the palm of her hands so she knew what and where to go with Y/n.  

Even tho her mind was still in another place she actually found herself enjoying their time there. She enjoyed it so much that she didn't even notice the days passing by until the day for them to leave had arrived. Although the first days were complicated now she didn't mind staying another day or two but there were things to fix that she was eager to mend and she wouldn't find the so needed peace she wanted until everything was cleared up.

On their last day there Lisa suggested to go for a hot chocolate where they found Tae and his friend once again. They saw each other a lot during their staying and ended up clearing everything up and agreed that Sewoon was a NO topic. That night they went to a club all together and Y/n remembers having so much fun and getting so drunk that she ended up on top of Tae's friend. (Not the way you guys are thinking, pervs ;)

Y/n already had too much to drink and once they were stepping out of the club she tripped and Tae's friend was there and tried to hold her only for Y/n to bring him down with her. All of them laughed and they even took a picture of them both on the floor in a suspicious position. She just hoped any of it would end up on social media, at least for now because she knew either Sewoon or Jungkook would see it, but of course things never go the way she wanted them too. On their way home Y/n got a notification on instagram saying Taehyung tagged her in a photo so she opened it and saw a set of pictures, the first being Y/n, Lisa, Tae and his friend with drinks on their hands and Tae's arm around Y/n's waist and the second just a photo of Y/n and Tae making a funny face among with other random pics with the caption “Glad to see an old flame again. Loved these days with the best people. Let's repeat it next year” Fuck

She still had two days before going back to work and a few hours' journey ahead of her and the last thing she wanted was to end these wonderful days in an anxiety attack at an airport far from home because of a set of pictures.

It was a peaceful trip, they both took the opportunity to sleep and rest during the flight since when they arrived they had a lot to do. Y/n agreed to move to Lisa's house just as she had proposed. One night before going to sleep she spoke with her landlord and canceled the lease so she had little time to organize her stuff and take them to Lisa's. As soon as the plane landed they looked at each other and smiled, grabbed their things and slowly walked out of the airport where Lisa's father was waiting for them. As soon as they got into the car, Lisa said 

“I'm sad it's over but I'm happy we're getting home. I honestly love traveling but the moment I get to my space and make myself comfortable at home is always the best of all. Speaking of it, we still have to get your things. How about we go to my house, unpack, have lunch and then pack the rest of your stuff? Unless you're tired”

“I agree with you Liz, nothing feels better than the comfort of home, and yes, I was thinking the same. I still have two days before going back to work so I have to make the most of it. Right now, i just really want to eat I’m starving and I can’t function without food” They both laugh. Lisa asked her father to turn on the radio and as soon as he did, Tate mcrae's new song started to play. Needless to say they started singing with all their power until they arrived at Lisa's house. Y/n didn't remember having that much fun, not even with Sewoon and she had known her for years.  

After arriving at the place, her father said goodbye to them and left their bags at the front door so they could unpack them. They decided to order Taco Bell and while they waited for food and for the washing machine to stop, they sat down on the sofa. Y/n was looking at her phone until she heard herself say 

“I don’t know what to do” Lisa gets confused and kept her silence in order for Y/n to say something else, getting comfy on the couch. It took her a while to speak again.

“I-  we got back to reality and I can't ignore the fact that I never spoke to Jungkook again ever since that day. It's making me nervous because my mind is racing 1000 percent, I mean, imagine he no longer wants to talk to me or listen to what I have to say.. In hindsight I should have said something to him but I was so hurt. Furthermore, I received a message from Sewoon asking what the hell I was doing with Tae without telling her. Let's just say it wasn’t a very nice message. What should I do Lisa?” 

“First of all breath Y/n. Being like this won't get you anywhere. Second: I honestly think you should send a text to Jungkook, tell him that you need to talk to him and that you know that ignoring him wasn't the right choice but that there are a lot of things he doesn't know and that it's difficult to explain. Ask him to meet, preferably in a place other than your work because it will draw a lot of attention on you. You still have time to get back to work, make the most of it before - " Before Lisa finished, the washing machine was heard making its characteristic sound and Lisa apologized and said she'd be right back while Y/n continued sitting on the sofa looking stupidly at her phone. Lisa was right, she couldn’t drag this anymore.

“Hi Jungkook, how are you? I hope you’re doing well. I’m doing good. I know i probably kept you up at night, or maybe you didn’t even think of me but still I’m writting this to give you some heads up on why I disappeared the way I did. Truth is, I had a lot going on these last few months and I know that’s not an excuse and I was on the wrong for not replying to your texts but honestly I didn’t know what else to do. I was in a real mess. I still am and the way I thought it was possible to get out of this chaos inside my mind was to escape my reality and move away. I'm sorry, I know I should have said something but I'm ready to explain everything to you now, if you still want to.  

I love you.” 

During the rest of the day Lisa helped Y/n move her things to her new place. The fact that she didn’t have a lot of things made it easier. After that, they went grocery shopping and ended up passing by Y/n’s work and decided to walk in being greeted for her co-worker Sana 

“Ohh well well well. Who do we have here? Good evening lady and welcome back! thought you’d never show your face around here again. I already miss you, how are you doing? And most importantly, when will you return? I'm so tired of putting up with the boss alone, everyday he gets more and more annoying” She says making Y/n and Lisa laugh. 

“It’s been wonderful having some days to actually rest, sad to see it end” Yn says with a smile. “How’s it going around here?” 

“Pretty much the same you know. Had your really hot friend coming over everyday at the same hour he used to come. I guess he didn’t believe me when I told him you took some days off. Weird you didn’t, you guys were so close and were together all the time I thought you’d end up together after he broke things off with Sewoon. The last time I saw him was two days ago with her actually. They came here together.” Y/n’s heart stopped for a second and she had a hard time breathing all of a sudden 

“Together how?”  

“Like I said they came in here together, sat at that table over there and chatted for a while. It was a very busy shift and I was alone here so I couldn’t see or hear a lot. When it calmed down I looked at them, Jungkook was holding her hand and saying something to her while she looked like she was crying or about to. Then I couldn't understand anything else because several customers came in at the same time. When I noticed, he was already coming to pay and Sewoon was at the entrance waiting for him. That day he didn't say anything, he looked somewhere behind me but didn't speak, he just smiled, paid and left but I couldn’t see if he went alone or with her. I’m sorry”  

Of course this was going to happen, all she had to do was disappear for a few days and they wouldn't waste time getting on top of each other. She was so stupid. Was she really worthless? Lisa looked at her worriedly but didn't say anything, simply ordered two drinks while Y/n thanked her and looked out the window. If she had known, she would have enjoyed the trip even more without thinking about those two. She felt bad about leaving Jungkook in a vacuum and he was very much entertained. She always had a tiny bit of hope but what for? Sana had left to prepare their order when Lisa spoke 

“Don't pay attention to it Y/n. It could be many things, you don't know. If he really was with her why was he always coming over and asking about you?” 

“Because that’s what friends are supposed to do Lisa! They worry about each other, which makes sense given how I left the club that night and the fact that I didn't say anything to him in the following days made him think that something bad had happened to me. Everything friendship based.. Maybe that's why he didn't answer me, because he's with her. Sewoon must have shown him the photos we took with Tae on vacation. He was sure I was okay so he moved on with her, again.  

Lisa didn't have the chance to say anything because their order was given to them and they said goodbye to Sana and made their way to the car. Lisa started driving and to get home they had to pass by Y/n's old house. As they approached the road Y/n saw someone she knew very well, Sewoon and next to her was Jungkook in front of her old appartment. As if they could see her, Y/n leaned as far back as she could against the seat.  

""Lisa, for all that is most sacred to you, please don't stop here, don't look, don't do anything other than move as quickly as possible. Don’t ask me anything just go!" 

Always the second, never the chosen, as always. 

-------------------------------------------------------------- 

As they get to their now shared apartment Y/n tells Lisa that she's not hungry and if she doesn't mind she's going to rest because it was a very long day and that tomorrow is the last day and she wants to take the opportunity to organize the rest of her things and relax. Lisa says she doesn't mind at all, that she also feels the same and is going to rest, specially because the next day she has a last minute meeting.

Y/n tried to make Lisa not notice it but she's not stupid. As she drove past Y/n's old building she saw the silhouettes that bothered her so much and all she had to do was put two and two together upon seeing her reaction. The only thing she wanted was to park and give Sewoon a good slap and tell her everything she had been holding back so far.  

After getting home both went to their rooms. Y/n couldn’t get any sleep. She tossed and turned but sleep was far away.  Y/n looked at her phone and still no text or call from Jungkook. Why was she stupid and sent him a text? Clearly he wasn't worried at all, not even an "ok" he had responded. Suddenly she felt her eyes blurry and that was when she realized the tears rolling down her cheeks. She thought she was worth more, even if it was just in terms of friendship. After some time lost in her own thoughts, she decided to put on her headphones and try to get some sleep and managed to do so after a few hours. 

The next day, when she woke up it felt like she had been hit by a bus. Lisa had also gone out to deal with some matters at work, at least she remembered mentioning something about it. Once alone, Y/n had decided to stay in bed. Honestly she wasn't in the mood to do anything else and wanted to take to relax since she was going back to work the next day. Willingness? none. It was going to be hard but the way things were going neither Jungkook nor Sewoon were going to show up there or so she thought.

The next day her alarm went off and Y/n got ready for the day. She was going to do a double shift today since Sana was off, so she was on her own. For some reason she was nervous, it seemed like it was her first day again so her anxiety was on the roof. 

As incredible as it may seem, as soon as she arrived she saw her regular customers greeting her and telling her how much they missed her (most of them elderly people who used to frequent the shop even before she worked there and who had loved her since her first day) relaxed her immediately. Everything went very well. During her break Lisa went to see her and they chatted and drank coffee before going back to do the other part of the shift. Until then, everything was going perfectly. No sign of people she didn't want to see, she hadn't had any rude customers and her boss was in a very good mood. It was all too good to be true since luck is not something that goes on her side. 

Y/n was getting ready to close the shop and at that point she was usually alone. She was putting the chairs on the table when she heard the entrance bell signal that someone else was there with her. When she turned to inform the customer that they were closed, she came across someone she didn't want or even expeected to see.

In front of her was Jungkook with wet hair and helmet in hand. He seemed agitated, confused and angry. Very angry. Y/n couldn't help but notice the dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn't slept in days. She stopped on the spot, what would she say or do? They hadn't seen or spoken to each other for almost a week and the atmosphere was tense and she just wanted to disappear. 

He looked at her with such an intense gaze that she had to turn away while saying "we are closed" and pretended to keep doing what she was doing. 

"Really? After days of complete silence while i was worried sick about you. After leaving without any kind of warning? After that stupid fight on the club and sudden departure with someone that neither Sewoon nor I knew, that's all you have to tell me? we are closed? Are you for real?” 

Y/n stopped doing what she was doing but kept her back to him. It’s a good thing he couldn't see her because her hands were like jelly, shaking so much that she thought she was going to faint right there, however continued to act tough and ignored him, took a deep breath and started walking to the counter until she felt a hand grab her arm.  

“Y/n please stop shitting me. I’ve been going crazy these last few days because of you and you act like you don't care. I don't know what's worse, your attitude or the fact that I don't recognize you at all" and with these words Y/n turned around and looked at him with tears threatening to fall. She released herself from Jungkook's hand and turned completely towards him. She was on the verge of bursting. 

“You. Out of all people YOU are the only one who can't say that. I did everything for you Jungkook. I was always there for you when you needed me, remember? I knew when you were good, when you were sad, when it wasn't the best time to talk and when you wanted to say something but didn't know how. You needed me and I was there but when it was the other way around, were you there for me? Did you care at all?” she sighed “All this because I didn't answer to some calls and texts from you? You were so worried about me that you were always tied to Sewoon, don't tell me you were also worried about me when you were inside her. Be honest Jungkook, you only remembered me when it suited you. Admit it, when it comes to me you don't think twice." 

Jungkook didn't say anything, he looked at her as if she had just stuck a knife into him. He expected everything but this version of Y/n. He had noticed for some time she was different but he never asked her because he didn't want to bring up the subject that was bothering her hoping she’d be the one to open up to him yet it seems like it was a bad decision to wait. Maybe he should have talked to her when he noticed it, he knows he was stupid but he wasn't going to give in now. He was about to speak again when Y/n continued her speech.

“Things weren't supposed to be like this but everything is already ruined so what I'm about to say won't make a difference and honestly I'm tired of staying silent so as not to hurt other people and try to please them. That's why I'm in this shit right now, so here it goes.” Y/n looks him straight in the eyes and more tears run down her face, it's now or never. 

“I’m in love with you Jungkook”

As soon as the words left her mouth, a sob came out as well. This is where it ends and she knows it. His expression changed from angry to pure shock. She knew him very well, but at this moment she couldn't read his thoughts, everything was so confusing, he seemed so confused and she didn't understand why. She was breaking and to avoid even more suffering said

“Please let's not talk about this anymore. Things are pretty obvious and we don't need to drag this out any further. I need to close this Jungkook, I'm tired and I need--" 

“How long Y/n? How long have you felt this way?” Jungkook's look was anything but disappointed. It was a look she couldn't decipher and she also didn't know if she wanted to. Y/n looked down and replied 

“ A few months after we met and started hanging out more” Jungkook turned around and placed his elbows on the counter and his hands resting on his head.  

“And you never thought to tell me? Don't you think that would be a good thing to do?” he sounded so mad. “All this time you had feelings for me and you never said anything, never showed any signs and now I'm the bad guy for moving on with my life? And why you’re talking about Sewoon? We broke things off a long time ago and you know it. You were there!” 

“Ohh please Jungkook, anything but that. I'm not blaming you for anything, in fact, I even supported you, remember ? it was ME who introduced you to Sewoon  because YOU wanted me to! Even if I told you earlier what would change? Every time you came to me it was either because you just had a dinner date or someone had asked for your number. You love to say I'm always on your mind, I guess that I wasn’t on it those nights. I'm just the girl you would share things with and ask for advice, you don't have to be very smart to see that.” 

“Is that why you left without saying anything?” Y/n looked at him and when he saw that he wasn't getting a response, he went to her and got so close that she could see all the moles on his face, some that she hadn't even realized he had.  

“Y/n answer me. It's the least I deserve.” Even though there was some distance between them, Y/n felt trapped so she decided to move away a little, hitting her back on the counter. 

“Yes. After our conversation at the club and the way I saw you look at Sewoon I realized that there was no chance for me, not that I didn't already know, but I got the confirmation that day and the way you were more interested in going to her than hearing me confirmed my guesses once again, yet it was when you went to her and you kissed in the middle of all those people that my heart was left in pieces. I looked at you and instead of being happy that my best friend was back with the girl he's in love with, I just wished it was me in her place. I had to get out of there before everyone saw me break." Y/n cleaned some tears that were running down

"In Sewoon's eyes I'm already pathetic, but in yours? I preferred to die than to know you had that image of me. I went to the bathroom and that's when I met a friend from school, we ended up talking and exchanging contacts. She asked me if I wanted a ride and I took the opportunity to leave, that's when you found me. That night I spent at her house and she made me an offer and invited me to go traveling with her. For my mental health I accepted and only God knows what it cost me not to have said anything to you and I'm really sorry for that, I know it wasn't the right thing to do, but Jungkook you didn't care either because when I texted you back you never answered me. You can't judge my actions after having done the same thing.”

“You could never be pathetic y/n. I've always said how much I admire the way you are and I keep praising that, I would never get that impression of you. I know you went on a trip with Lisa and two other boys, Sewoon had shown me pictures of you, that's why I don't understand Y/n, none of this adds up. And I never received any text from you because unlike you, every day I checked if you had come to work, if you sent anything or if Sewoon knew anything about you. That's the reason I was with Sewoon a lot more these last few days. It's sad that I only found out that you were back because I saw your friend here yesterday, I recognized her from those photos, so I went to her and asked her about you. She told me you were coming back to work today and to show up around this time because you'd be alone. I was crazy looking for you, wondering if you were in a dead end, that's when Sewoon called me saying you were okay, hanging with some guys you probably met there. She also sent me the pictures, that's when I calmed down.”

Y/n didn't know which part made her more shocked, if the fact that Lisa spoke to Jungkook or knowing Sewoon sent the photos to him and omitted the fact that they both know the boy in question.

"Oh my god. After all this time Sewoon is still keeping you in the dark. Well just so you know the guy who posted the pictures is Sewoons ex-boyfriend, the one she left you for. Remember when she broke up with you? Yeah it was because of him. There are definitely things you should clarify with her, as she changes everything that corresponds to reality. Things that don't concern me at all and to be honest I'm tired of this conversation, it doesn't matter anymore. Things happened and it's ove, so if you don't mind it was a complicated day --” She didn't expect Jungkook to get so close to her but the truth is that they were centimeters away from each other and that was making her even more nervous and uncomfortable. She tried to get around him but he put his arms on either side of Y/n's body, trapping her there.  

"Did it work? Did you forget about me there? Did any of those guys help you forget me?”  Y/n had no response, she was completely surrendered to looking between his eyes and lips. She wasn't brave enough to grab him and kiss him, specially since he was still fooling around with Sewoon or so she thought, even tho the denied it. Still she wouldn't feel good doing that even if Sewoon hadn't been the best friend, so she did what she does best, avoided the interaction.  

“"I had fun and regardless of things I don't owe you any kind of explanation. I finally learned my lesson and you're not the exception, Jungkook. You're the rule and I don't give second chances to get me hurt, not even to you. I don't want to continue in this agony every time I see you and ask myself why others and not me? It took me a long time to get there but I finally managed to understand that as long as I don't like and accept myself as I am, neither will others and for that reason I ask you not to come here again. This is a closed subject and one that I want to bury.”  

“We’re not done having this conversation Y/n, I have to tell you some-”  

“Yes we are Jungkook, don’t you get it? I just told you I’m in love with you. My best friend who’s in love with my other best friend, who's still into her ex boyfriend. Did you even hear what I said about Sewoon?"

" I don't care about Sewoon,Y/n. Don't you fucking get it? All this time the only person on my mind was you. I tried really hard not to call you because why would I need to know where you were or who you were with. In your eyes I dated your best friend but in my eyes the only thing that connected me to her was you."

"Lisa has been fixing something she didn’t break because of how weak I was to stand for myself. I’m tired of being this innocent and naive girl everyone can step on. I'm not blaming you Jungkook, you didn't know and things turned out this way and it's okay. It's over and I think it's the best for you and me. I’ll be here if you need something but right now I don’t want to be around you. I need to fix myself before being there for you or Sewoon again and if you really care about me you’ll respect that” 

“Y/n, you're not understanding I--"

“Please Jungkook, just go. Let me do this for me and maybe we can talk about this in the future and laugh about it.” He didn't say anything else, he swallowed hard, shook his head, picked up his helmet and left, slamming the door loudly and that's when y/n collapsed. 

"I love you Jungkook. I love you so much but I can't be your second option." Y/n said as she slid down the wall, succumbing to the pain of something she never had.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

tags: @esposadomd @joonlover1207 @eegyo @furrywonderlandwolf @minghaosimp @differentrunawayperson @nikkinikj @jksusawife @jk97bam @cryingoverpixelsetc @bhonbhon @lostinneocity @almostpurplelady @meowforluv @imagine-this-motherfucker @jk-190811 @cryingoverpixelsetc @11thenightwemet11 @rinkud @ayatie97 @jk-190811 @shaku1995

[makelemonade]

Both the parts for people finding out we're dating the characters are so good! Can I please request you to include Wriothesley in the next part if you're writing it?

how people find out you’re dating them

Wriothesley, Capitano

Wriothesley

ONCE AGAIN THESE GODDAMN MELUSINES

Most specifically SIGEWINNE.

she’s such a cutie patootie. you just wanna eat her up whenever you see her! Sigewinne, the adorableness she is, is not the smartest.

Whenever you come down so often to come visit Wriothesely, she comments on how you are such a good friend to always keep him company! and you just can’t bear to explain to her that is not the case!

This goes on for A MONTH. A GODDAMN MONTH and she has not figured it out.

Even when she bursts into his office to find you maybe massaging his back, arms, hugging him, holding him- she is completely OBLIVIOUS to the point Wriothesly wants to test out kissing you in front of her.

However, her obliviousness comes to a stop one day and for the stupidest yet funniest reason;

He’s not drinking his tea.

She’s shocked. Like jaw dropped, absolutely still shocked. She’s constantly trying to get him to drink or EAT anything other than tea so when she sees him with a MILKSHAKE?! A FUCKING MILKSHAKE.

She’s ready to lose her shit.
and then she sees YOU with the opposite flavour milkshake and she immediately knows and screams it out for the ENTIRE prison to hear.

A prisoner comes in injured; “Have you heard Wriothesly and Y/N are together?!”

On her next vacation, she’s running to Neuvillette, Furina, Clorinde- EVERYONE.

Well, it was a month of peace.

Capitano

It’s funny because he genuinely isn’t even trying to hide it from the Harbingers.

He doesn’t not tell them because he’s worried for your safety- he’s the fourth fucking harbinger he will GLADLY beat anyone’s ass for you even if it means it’s his own coworkers.

The man just doesn’t talk. That’s literally why no one knows. Like yeah, he’ll murmur a few words every now and then but like, he doesn’t see a reason in bringing something up if someone doesn’t mention anything related so he stays quiet.

He does talk a bit more though, and he’s willing to actually sit with the harbingers whenever they sometimes hang out.

It’s weirding them out.

The weirdest thing though,

WEIRDEST.

Is when he speaks to Childe.

Even Childe is absolutely shocked- like what do you mean the guy he’s been like practically simping over fight wise is actually soeaking to him?!?!!!

They have to ask Pierro if he’s sick, and even Pierro doesn’t know and Pierro is the ONLY one capitano talks.

They literally find out from YOU.

You walked into the castle once, being escorted by a guard who is quick to leave once he’s finally let you reach the insides of the castle.

“Sorry to disturb,” You spoke nervously, somehow ending up in some sort of lounge room with the Harbingers. “I’ve brought lunch for my…boyfriend? Uh, Capitano? Do you know where I could find him?”

“Yeah, down the hall, first room on the left.” Arlecchino murmurs, reading through the latest Snezhnaya newspapers.

You smile at her, although she doesn’t see and everyone just returns back to normal.

Until they all realize WHO the hell are you and BOYFRIEND?!?

They all give each other a look before they are RUNNING to you, ready to ask questions and capitano is shocked when suddenly all the Harbingers are in his office and he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop them from questioning you on everything.

He likes the way you laugh at them all- it’s cute. He should bring you more often.

follow me on Twitter!; @II_makelemonade

[konpeitonom]

first time with college grant curly.

nsfw — lowercase intended ^_^

fem reader—

requests are open and heavily encouraged, i write for every mw character ^.^

notes; college curly back in my head again.. sorry if this is short. i did like half a few days ago and just needed to finish it up now. i accidentally deleted the ask to this i am so so sorry anon out there..

nsfw under the cut! minors do not read

— he would wait for you to suggest it. he doesn’t want you to feel pressured to do so. maybe he’d bring the topic up as a way for you to sort of.. tell him how you feel on it? your comfort comes first.

— when the time comes though, he’s all romantic about it. he wants to give a good impression, wants you to want it as much as he does. maybe you guys are out on a little weekend trip, or jimmy decides to go for a few days. whatever it is, he wants you two to be alone.

— he’d tease you just a little on the undergarments you decide to wear.. like, “oh, picked this all out for me, yeah? that’s cute.” .. would laugh as you push his face away in embarrassment. he just can’t help but wanna poke fun at you, just a little! i’d ease any tension, for sure.

— would kiss you in just the right areas.. would ask over and over if you want this- if it’s too much, too little. it might seem overbearing but you’ll just have to push through it.

— he’d eat you out before fucking you. i think. it’s just really intimate for him. please grab at his hair, shove him further, push your thighs together, it encourages him.

— his foreplay is really good, exceptionally so. he likes the sight of you all soaked before he even puts his dick in, really, it gets him so hard.

— he’ll ask constantly if this is what you want, if he’s going too fast and such. he tries to be gentle but to be honest with himself, he’s a bit pent up.. he’s the kind of guy that once he starts even talking to a girl he likes, he’ll avoid stuff like hookups and one night stands..

— whispers sweet nothings, obviously. tells you how pretty you look, especially like that. that you’re doing so well, that he’s lucky to be able to do this with you.

— errrr read my nsfw alphabet, i think his dick is on the larger end. he’s aware of this and will let you decide if it’s something you can take well or not. he’ll be very gentle, promise!

— he’d stop being so lovey after the first round. i mean, he’s not going to be mean but he has been waiting for this. waiting to take you as his. and he hopes you’d be okay with that.

— “fuck, you can take it like this, right?” he’d ask.. as he’s literally splitting you open.

— he’d jerk off infront of you if you couldn’t take anymore.. his sex drive would probably be on the much higher end at this age. there’s something so erotic about it. he’d like to watch you play with yourself too!

— afterwards he’d make sure to reassure you that there’s no pressure to add sex as a regular thing in your relationship.. that he’s okay with it being a once in a while thing, despite how he acted.

— great aftercare! prepares a nice bath for you both. makes sure to have a conversation again with where you both stand. he doesn’t wanna mess things up.

[stove-top96]

Water Colour Eyes

Chapter 2

Y Batfam x GN Reader

Featuring: Platonic Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne (mostly Jason)

1.8K words

I’m not the biggest fan of this chapter, I tried something new when writing it and it didn’t mix well. Chapter 3 will be a lot better. Any and all advice will be appreciated. Comment if you wanna be added to the Taglist (I hope I did it right)

You’re the first one to get cut, although you were scheduled to work the close Albertine wanted you out of there as soon as possible. Honestly you were thankful, if you stayed there any longer you’d probably break. Roa called in sick, so you were stuck fending for yourself once the Waynes left. You messed up 3 ticket orders, because of Albertine’s new no notepad policy, so you were ridiculed by the kitchen staff for being incompetent. The last 4 hours were brutal, you can’t stop thinking about how hard it is to work there. It’s so isolating, and the staff make you feel so stupid. You just can’t take it anymore, you’ve never been made to feel so incompetent and insecure anywhere else. You feel so pathetic for putting up with it, but where else can you make so much money? Being a freshman in college means your options are pretty limited.

Grabbing your coat and bag you prepare to head down to the subway station. It’s already dark out, but going home at 9:45 is a lot safer than the original 12:00. Getting home early means you’ll have more time to yourself, and you won't be bothered since your mom and her boyfriend haven’t been home for a few days. It’s the little joys in life that matter.

As you make it to the station it’s a little more crowded than usual. Something you're thankful for, there’s safety in numbers even if they’re strangers. Riding the train to your stop, even though you’re able to have the evening to yourself, thoughts of doubt still race in the back of your mind. The walk home from the station is always rough, but you get through it everytime. your lips tremble, hands shake, and eyes water, you just can’t seem to forget all the mistakes you’ve made. Even so you push it all down. You're only 15 minutes away from your apartment, so you can make it home and cry a little while you're taking a shower or something. Just make it home. Just make it home. It’s the only thing repeating in your mind, the only thing keeping you moving.

Wandering like a ghost through the streets, your thoughts distract you from everything. Just make It home. You had only two more blocks to go. Wiping the few tears that spilled down. Just make it home. You're gonna have the place to yourself, you can have a nice long shower without your step dad getting mad at you. Just make it home. You don't work another shift until Tuesday, so you won’t see them for a while. As long as you just make it home.

“Give me your money”

“What” you’re snapped back to reality as you're confronted by some junkie in the alley. “I said gimme your money” he took a few steps closer, as you inched backwards “I- I don't have any on me right now” you stuttered, hoping your answer might satisfy him. Judging from his face it didn’t. God what were you supposed to do. This man looks like he’s got at least 100 pounds on you, not that you could fight him even if you wanted. “I’m sure ya do, if ya just hand it over no one gets hurt”. He’s cornered you, you have nowhere to run now. Your heart begins to race, hands start to tremble and the tears that threatened to spill earlier are pouring down your face. This is it. you have no money on you, this man will likely beat you to death. you do the only thing you can do “HELP! Someone please!”. This pisses him off as he grabs your wrist, your heart stops as you see him raise a hand to punch. This is it.

+++++

Jason was on his usual route, he had about 2 hours to kill before he got to see you. Being the one to make sure you were safe was something he took pride in, and walking home with you was different. You were always at your most vulnerable after work, protecting you while you’re in such a fragile state brings a sense of warmth about him. You make him feel like a good person, a good brother.

The restaurant is only about 3 blocks down from his patrol route for the night, maybe he can just take a quick look, to make sure you're okay. Bruce did say something about you having a rough night or something like that, he wasn’t paying too much attention all he could think of was how he could make your manager pay without pissing Bruce off. As he nears the restaurant he’s thankful he showed up, since you're already on your way to the subway. Following you the rest of the way, it’s clear you did have a rough day. Fists clenching and grinding his teeth, his blood boils. You don't deserve any of this, you deserve nothing less than the best. Bruce’s fucked up plan to drive into despair only to pick you up is one he never agreed with. They should just save you now so nothing bad can happen on the off chance they aren’t around. Then at least you’d be protected and with them. It doesn’t matter if you fight at first cause in time you’d understand. But the family just can’t see his side, and you’re suffering because of it.

He’s never felt so useless before. He sees your pain, and wants nothing more than to lift you into his arms and set you free from all your troubles. But he can't yet, right now he’s Redhood, but soon he’ll be your brother. Only then will he be able to ease your pain, but he knows even after your wounds heal there’ll still be scares, he has them too. One day you’ll both understand each other, you share experiences that no one else in the family has. He’ll help in the way no one helped him.

As he nears the alley, he sees the man grab your wrist harshly and swing his other arm. Before the thug’s fist comes in contact with your face, he shoots, aiming for the fist about to punch you. The rubber bullet cracks and breaks the thugs hand, letting go of your wrist to writhe in pain. Within seconds redhood arrives at the scene accessing the damage. “Are you alright?” he asks, voice deep and robotic from his mask. Mind racing a thousand thoughts a second you barely comprehend what’s happening. “What..” you mutter quietly, voice cracking from the tears you shed minutes ago. “Are you alright?” He asks again, hand resting on your shoulder in an attempt to comfort you. “ I- I don’t know” you mumble to yourself as you begin to zone out into your own world. The stress of school, your mom, her boyfriend and especially work, maybe you aren’t okay? Maybe you just can’t push through anymore? You don't know anything anymore. Quickly snapping back into reality “No I'm fine, don't worry, just a little shaken, I’m normally more careful than that.” You stumble through your words, you hope it’s convincing enough, even if you look like a mess and are a little stressed out Red Hood probably saves hundreds of people in a night you can’t keep him waiting any longer. “Thank you,..” you want to say more but he probably has to head back. Gathering your things from your bag you begin the rest of the 15 minute walk back to your apartment, staying more vigilant than ever but still unaware of the masked hero following you home.

Jason’s mind never felt so separated from his body, all he wanted to do was beat the shit out of that scumbag who dared lay a hand on you. But his feelings were irrelevant, you were the only one that mattered right now. The shadows of the alley couldn’t hide your expression. you looked white as a ghost, eyes puffy and wide, your hands trembled slightly as you picked up your things. It didn’t take a genius to see how distressed you are. He wanted to do anything, say something as you walked away, but he couldn't, his body wouldn’t do anything. So he watched his little sibling walk away when they needed him most, never feeling more pathetic. Only after a few minutes of standing did he gain control, running after you to ensure you got home safely, it’s the least he could do for being a horrible brother back there.

+++++

“I believe it would be best to fire that manager” Damian's voice echoes through the Batcave as he prepares for patrol with his father. “Like I’ve told Dick, it's under consideration” Bruce’s response is curt, he understands the boy’s frustrations but in order to reach their end goal they must be patient with everything. Tim rolls his eyes, he understands why but with their current pace they’ll never grow past the current server customer relationship they have. “Have you at least considered our side of things, we can’t let people treat them like that. They’re running herself thin, they could barely smile at us tonight” Tim’s frustration is evident in his voice, why is Bruce not doing anything he understands the plan, even agrees with it but Albertine crosses a line. Bruce goes to speak but is interrupted by a call from Jason. “Yes” he goes silent as the voice on the other line speaks, his face giving nothing away. “Do you have a name?” He asks, the boys are curious. Is tonight gonna turn into something more than a simple patrol? Did a villain plan something big? “Thank you” as he hangs up, his face still doesn’t give any indication as to what was being discussed. “They were attacked” his voice monotone, but the slight furrow in his brow was a clear indicator for the rage brewing inside him. The two boys freeze, as their blood runs cold, and they seethe with rage. Someone tried to hurt their sister?

“What!? Was Todd not supposed to be watching them?” Damion did nothing to hide his rage, mind racing with different possibilities on how he could hurt his brother for his negligence. “He did, and they weren’t hurt. They got sent home early, be thankful Jason stopped by as they were leaving.” Bruce’s voice was firm, but he was lost in his own thoughts and schemes on how they can better insure your protection without interfering with their progress. “Does he have a name?” Tim asked, visibly more relaxed after knowing you were uninjured. “Greg Capullo” Bruce’s answer was short but the tone gave direct instructions. Go after him, he will turn a blind eye to whatever it is they do. Damian, wasting no time leaves the cave preparing to do his worst, while Tim heads towards the bat-computer preparing to make this man’s life miserable. Tonight was a night the criminals of Gotham would remember, as the Bats were far more brutal in every aspect than they have ever been before.

Taglist: @lilyalone @pix-stuff @caged-birdies-blog @toast-on-dandelioms

[moonstruckme]

hii omg I absolutely adore your blog!! i love the interactions between the guys and reader, the way you write them makes them feel so so real 💫 I was wondering, how do you think they'd react to reader having a horrible nightmare and not being able to fall asleep? you dont have to write it ofc, and sorry for my english it's not my first language 🥰

Hi, thank you lovely! Please don't worry about your english, it's amazing and it'd be no problem even if it weren't, and thanks for requesting <3

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.2k words

You wake with a tear already slithering down your face from the injustice of it. Your chest feels empty and crushed, and you press your palm to your breastbone as if that will ease the hollow ache. You come to terms quickly with the fact that none of it was real, you’re okay, but there’s still evidence of your terror and indignation in your too-hot skin. You pull the sheets covering you to the side so that half your body is exposed to the cool air. 

“Hey.” The word is hardly more than a raspy exhale, Sirius’ voice slurred with sleep. You’d evidently slipped free of his arms at some point in the night. You distinctly remember falling asleep with his breath on your forehead, but now there’s nearly a foot of empty space between you. His face rubs against the pillowcase as he shifts to see you better. “Hey, what’s up?” 

“Nothing,” you say, though your voice is tight with unwanted tears. They keep squishing out of your eyes, like aftershocks of an earthquake that’s already fading from your memory. “Just a dream.” 

Sirius reaches for your face. His hand is pleasantly cool against your skin, but he makes a sleepy discontented sound at the wetness he finds. “You’re crying.” 

“Shh, you’ll wake them.” You cover his hand with yours, giving his fingers a reassuring squeeze. “I’m okay, go back to sleep.” 

Sheets rustle as James rolls over to face you. “Whas’ going on?” 

You sigh. “Nothing, sorry.” You turn your face from Sirius’ touch, moving one leg over the edge of the bed. “I’m going to go get some water.” 

“She’s crying,” Sirius tattles, though it’s hard to be too mad at him when his voice is still foggy with sleepy bemusement. He wraps his hand around your elbow. “Wait, stay.” 

You go to shush him again, but then you see that Remus already has his eyes open. He’s been watching you quietly for who knows how long. Superb. At least your crying has finally stopped. 

“What’s wrong, angel?” James says through a yawn, rubbing sleep out of his eyes as he props himself up on his elbow to see you over Sirius. “Bad dream?” 

“Yeah, just a dream,” you reassure him softly. “Go back to sleep, I’m sorry I woke you.”

“Don’t be sorry,” he says, though he still looks like he’s got weights sewn into his eyelids. “Wanna talk about it?” 

“No, thank you,” you say as kindly as you can. “I just want to get a drink, then I’ll go back to sleep.” 

“I’ll get it for you, love.” Remus’ voice is rough. He rolls over and says warningly, “Light,” before turning on the lamp beside the bed. Sirius makes a low moan of protest, turning his face into the pillow, and you and James both squint your eyes. Remus passes James his glasses, sitting up to get out of bed. 

“I can get it,” you object. You go to mirror him, but Sirius holds fast to your elbow, preventing you from moving off the mattress. 

“No, I know better.” Remus steps into his slippers. “I’ve got it, you stay.” 

You watch guiltily as he plods out of the room, then turn to James and Sirius with a bemused look. He knows better?

James gives you a small smile, tinged with apology. “Whenever you say you’re going to get water in the middle of the night, you never come back,” he explains as Sirius wraps his arms around your waist, drawing you closer. “None of us wants you to deal with these things on your own, angel.” 

Your face starts heating again with the knowledge that they’ve found you out. You do often say you’re going for water after nightmares like these, so that your boyfriends will go back to sleep even though you can’t. You usually end up sitting in the living room, distracting yourself with sudoku or reading until it’s a reasonable hour to make breakfast and pretend you’ve only just woken up.

“Give ‘er here, Pads,” James says at your touched silence. “We can share.” 

Sirius holds you to his front and rolls over, situating you between him and James on the bed. James takes your face in his hands and sets about kissing your salty cheeks, lips wet and smooshed and more loving than you could ever deserve. You can’t help but smile as he does it, and Sirius makes a quiet sound of satisfaction, giving your middle an appreciative squeeze. 

“They’re just dreams,” you argue when James pauses. “I don’t need to be babied over something that didn’t really happen.” 

“They’re still upsetting,” Remus says as he comes in with a cup of water, “aren’t they?” 

“Sort of, I guess.” You sit up to take the cup from him, doing your best to convey your gratitude through a look. He gives you a tired smile as he gets back in bed beside James. “But it’s like, half the time I don’t even know what I’m upset about. I forget them.” 

Sirius disentangles his arms from you as you sit upright. He settles for rubbing your lower back instead. “But you can’t sleep afterward.” It’s not a question. 

You take a sip of water, speaking quietly into the cup. “I think I get too worked up.” 

“That’s alright, darling.” Remus’ voice is soft and smooth as butter. “Your body’s just still working through the emotions of it all, yeah? But maybe, instead of running off and staying up all night, you could let us help you.” 

You look over at him. The warm light from the lamp makes his mussed brown hair look golden as he watches you consideringly. “How?” you ask tentatively.

“Seems like all you need is to calm down,” James says, looking up at you from where his head rests on the pillow just beside your hip. You want to squirm at all the attention, but there’s nothing pitying in his gaze. “We can at least try to help with that.” 

You hesitate, and Remus reaches over, wrapping his hand around your cup. “Done with this, lovely?” He takes it when you nod and sets it down on the nightstand. “Alright, lie down.” 

You do as he says, shimmying beneath the covers. Remus shuts off the light. 

Sirius’ grip is solid as he turns you by your hips, setting your back to his front. “Still feeling too warm?” he asks softly. 

You blink into the darkness. “How’d you know?” 

He chuckles, and you feel his lips press against the back of your head a moment before his hands snake under your pajama shirt, cool palms pressed flat to your stomach. “Because I know you, sweet girl.” 

“Do you think taking some deep breaths would help?” Remus murmurs. 

You’re not sure, but you try, counting as your lungs expand and contract until they start to feel a bit more like their normal size. 

“There you go.” James’ lips press to the spot between your brows. “Does that feel better, angel?” 

“Yeah,” you admit. The word emerges like a sigh. Your voice is slipping away, quieting as you grow drowsy. Sirius can tell, and he begins to rub his palm slowly back and forth across your ribs. It grows warm against your skin, but you don’t mind so much anymore. “Thank you guys. Sorry for waking you.” 

“Don’t worry about it, darling.” Remus’ words start to slur as his own sleep finds him. “We’d always rather all be awake than leave you by yourself.”

[luludeluluramblings]

AAAAHHHHH THANK YOU FOR RESPONDING. But your response to the madoka magica question got me thinkin. LET ME COOK. Madoka magica!reader. LEMME COOK. Little warning this might be a yap sesh. Now I have multiple thoughts. Let’s say reader doesn’t do what madoka does and just becomes a regular magical girl. If we follow off of the show/manga. We’re gonna assume reader is gonna be around 7th grade. Which is gonna be such a young age to be fighting those TERRIFYING witches. Lowkey was shivering in my boots when I first saw sayaka’s form. So of course reader is gonna have ptsd. Especially if they were some what in Madoka’s place and watches mami get her head bitten off?!?!? I think the batfam would definitely start to pick up on things. Flinching from touch. Covering up more (covering scars and wounds from battle). Not being as talkative. Distancing herself away from people. We all know Alfred would IMMEDIATELY clock that and try to figure out what’s wrong. Batfamily is gonna take much longer to notice though, and when they do? They feel TERRIBLE. Having to fight some of the most disturbing and hard to beat witches. Having to watch your friends die one by one. I can definitely imagine madoka magica!reader starting to act like sayaka after finding out about the soul gem situation. Depressed and riddled with a LOT of ptsd. The batfam would probably blame themselves (serves them right). And when they try to confront reader to stop fight witches? But what happens if it’s too late. Either madoka magica!reader is either gruesomely killed in battle, or went through the excruciating process of becoming the witch. They wouldn’t know what to do. Some of them letting the guilt eat them alive, letting the guilt control their every thought. Only being able to think about the pain reader must have been in.(Bruce and dick). Some of them denying reader’s dead. They can’t be dead! No no they can’t they just can’t! This is all just a prank to get attention (Damien). Couple of them enjoying anything and everything that remind them about reader. Taking stuff from reader’s room. Just so they can have a little soloist.(Alfred, Tim). Others not being able to stand anything that reminds them of reader. Not being able to be reminded of the neglect reader was put through. That they helped put reader through that neglect. (Jason)

I’d love to hear your thoughts. I have a lot more ideas for this but I don’t wanna yap to much and bother you TwT. But if you wanna have the concept go ahead! I’m not that good at writing so I wouldn’t be able to do. Btw you truly do have amazing writing!! Please remember to never overwork yourself<333

Babe, you have cooked and written this better than I would have. (I confess, I never finished Madoka Magica) And, I about to send all the asks I'm getting over this to you!

But, the way Bruce's disdain for magic would be solidified after this would be interesting. And, if they find out this is still happening to other children still, he'd probably go on a warpath and get the League involved as a way to help ease his guilt.

Or, watching him realize that there's no reversing Reader from being a Witch and that another magical girl is going to come a long an kill them.

I'm honestly wondering if one of the family members would make a deal just for a way to get Reader back.