#i just tripped and stumbled onto some feelings it'll be fine | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

secretaryofthebirds · 4 months ago

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Both op and my sister are very much correct and I have a couple of additional deets to share.

a) The tolt is an odd stride because a majority of horse strides involve the legs working in tandem with the opposite leg on the the diagonal, i.e. the front right leg will be moving with the back left leg, whilst the front left and back right operate as a different pair. with a tolt the legs do operate in pairs, but not on the diagonal; instead the pairs are along the sides of the horses body. I.e. the front right and back right legs function as a pair, whilst the two legs on the left side work as a pair.

This video I found quite helpful:

youtube

As I side note, I know very little about the flying gait; as best as I can tell, its the tolt but much faster and not many Icelandic horses can do it.

b) Horses are sensitive.

This has already been talked about, but I want to elaborate a couple of points. Firstly, the rider needs to stay calm. I cannot express this enough. I once went on a several day hack with an incredibly twitchy individual who was CONSTANTLY stressing out their horse. As such the animal was more nervous, more likely to kick, buck, etc. This caused a stampede at one point and another rider nearly got seriously hurt - as in nearly got knocked off her horse and then would've been trampled under a stampeding mare. Thankfully, she was a very good rider and managed to stay on, but it was a pretty upsetting event all round.

If something distressing has happened, the rider needs to calm down quick. The horse is already stressed and nervous and will respond to your nerves as well, making it more likely to cause a repeat of whatever incident caused the original stress. Also, if your horse is nervous, it will make the other horses nervous as well. They are herd animals are insanely sensitive to one anothers moods as well as their riders.

I was fortunate on this particular ride that I was on an incredibly benign and incredibly stupid horse - I mean this with all the love in my heart. This turned out very useful, as, if something happened, he would calm down as soon as I did so his mood was very easy to manage. It was not so easy for the others on their more intelligent or sensitive horses to keep their animals from falling into an ourobouros of stress.

c) You can 'reverse' a horse.

'Reining back' is where you pull back the reins to a point where the horse's head is so far back that they'll move their body back to compensate. Some horses you may need to kick them a little to make them understand that you want them move (or they're just feeling lazy lol). It's not really fair to the horse to do this for very long at all, or very often, but if you need to get them to move a metre or two back so you can close a gate or somesuch, it can be very helpful.

d) It can be quite hard to get a carriage-trained horse to canter

This is an odd one, but carriage horses are not usually trained to canter in the sense other horse are. They can do it, all horses can, but they haven't been trained to respond to the same cues and will likely be less familar with having a person on their back to begin with. Without proper encouragement, they'll generally just do a very fast trot - which makes sense for pulling a carriage (they might kick the carriage if they canter whilst pulling) but isn't so helpful for riding as its more limited speedwise than a canter.

e) Sometimes you have to dismount really fucking fast.

I'm a bit more hesitant saying this. Please don't take this as "Just pitch yourself head first off a horse it'll be fine.". It's more that sometimes you cannot do a proper dismount, but you NEED to get off your horse before you are crushed or otherwise injured.

The incident that comes to mind for me is the time the horse I was one stumbled (common) and then tripped onto his knees (far less common) and started tipping sideways. Horses are big animals and if they fall they can overbalance very quickly, which is less than ideal if your leg is what's going to get trapped under a ton of falling horse.

So, in that moment I had to make a decision and that decision was, do I:

a. risk breaking my leg, possibly in multiple places under this horse or b. throw myself out of the, now thankfully closer to the ground, saddle onto the very irregular and very rocky ground, scramble to a safe distance away and hope for the best.

I chose b. I don't know if that was the best choice; in my situation it worked out fine, but I do martial arts and have a lot of experience with falling in a way to minimise injury so I got away with only a few scratches. The horse did not end up fully tipping over and managed to right himself; again no idea if that would have worked with me still on his back. He was fine btw; slight gash on his nose, slight gash on his knee, but in the two seconds it took me to get up to check if he was alright, he had already walked over to a nearby patch of braken and shoved his head in it. I was worried to death in those two seconds; if a horse seriously injures their leg they pretty much have to be put down. I didn't think that was likely, but was still nervous when I whirled around to find him happily snacking.

Anyway, my overall point is; if something happens to your horse (or if your horse is a little shit who decides to roll with you on their back), you may have to get off it VERY fast. Again, this is not me advising this as such, but it is something to bear in mind.

Horses: Since There Seems To Be A Knowledge Gap

I'm going to go ahead and preface this with: I comment pretty regularly on clips and photos featuring horses and horseback riding, often answering questions or providing explanations for how or why certain things are done. I was a stable hand and barrel racer growing up, and during my 11 year tenure on tumblr, Professional Horse Commentary is a very niche, yet very necessary, subject that needs filling. Here are some of the literary and creative gaps I've noticed in well meaning (and very good!) creators trying to portray horses and riding realistically that... well, most of you don't seem to even be aware of, because you wouldn't know unless you worked with horses directly!

Some Of The Most Common Horse + Riding Mistakes I See:

-Anybody can ride any horse if you hold on tight enough/have ridden once before.

Nope. No, no, no, no, aaaaaaaand, no. Horseback riding has, historically, been treated as a life skill taught from surprisingly young ages. It wasn't unusual in the pre-vehicular eras to start teaching children as young as 4 to begin to ride, because horses don't come with airbags, and every horse is different. For most adults, it can take months or years of regular lessons to learn to ride well in the saddle, and that's just riding; not working or practicing a sport.

Furthermore, horses often reject riders they don't know. Unless a horse has been trained like a teaching horse, which is taught to tolerate riders of all skill and experience levels, it will take extreme issue with having some random person try to climb on their back. Royalty, nobility, and the knighted classes are commonly associated with the "having a favorite special horse" trope, because it's true! Just like you can have a particularly special bond with a pet or service animal that verges on parental, the same can apply with horses. Happy horses love their owners/riders, and will straight-up do their best to murder anyone that tries to ride them without permission.

-Horses are stupid/have no personality.

There isn't a more dangerous assumption to make than assuming a horse is stupid. Every horse has a unique personality, with traits that can be consistent between breeds (again, like cat and dog breeds often have distinct behavior traits associated with them), but those traits manifest differently from animal to animal.

My mother had an Arabian horse, Zipper, that hated being kicked as a signal to gallop. One day, her mom and stepdad had a particularly unpleasant visitor; an older gentleman that insisted on riding Zipper, but refused to listen to my mother's warnings never to kick him. "Kicking" constitutes hitting the horse's side(s) with your heels, whether you have spurs on or not. Most horses only need a gentle squeeze to know what you want them to do.

Anyway, Zipper made eye-contact with my mom, asking for permission. He understood what she meant when she nodded at him. He proceeded to give this asshole of a rider road rash on the side of the paddock fence and sent him to the emergency room. He wouldn't have done it if he didn't have the permission from the rider he respected, and was intelligent enough to ask, "mind if I teach this guy a lesson?" with his eyes, and understand, "Go for it, buddy," from my mom in return.

-Riding bareback is possible to do if you hold onto the horse's mane really tight.

Riding a horse bareback (with no saddle, stirrups, or traditional harness around the horse's head) is unbelievably difficult to learn, particularly have testicles and value keeping them. Even professional riders and equestrians find ourselves relying on tack (the stuff you put on a horse to ride it) to stay stable on our horses, even if we've been riding that particular horse for years and have a very positive, trusting relationship.

Horses sweat like people do. The more they run, the more their hair saturates with sweat and makes staying seated on them slippery. Hell, an overworked horse can sweat so heavily that the saddle slips off its back. It's also essential to brush and bathe a horse before it's ridden in order to keep it healthier, so their hair is often quite slick from either being very clean or very damp. In order to ride like that, you have to develop the ability to synchronize your entire body's rhythm's with the rhythm of the horse's body beneath you, and quite literally move as one. Without stirrups, most people can't do it, and some people can never master bareback riding no matter how many years they spend trying to learn.

-You can be distracted and make casual conversation while a horse is standing untethered in the middle of a barn or field.

At every barn I've ever worked at, it's been standard practice with every single horse, regardless of age or temperament, to secure their heads while they're being tacked up or tacked down. The secures for doing this are simple ropes with clips that are designed to attach to the horse's halter (the headwear for a horse that isn't being ridden; they have no bit that goes in the horse's mouth, and no reins for a rider to hold) on metal O rings on either side of the horse's head. This is not distressing to the horse, because we give them plenty of slack to turn their heads and look around comfortably.

The problem with trying to tack up an unrestrained horse while chatting with fellow stable hands or riders is that horses know when you're distracted! And they often try to get away with stuff when they know you're not looking! In a barn, a horse often knows where the food is stored, and will often try to tiptoe off to sneak into the feed room.

Horses that get into the feed room are often at a high risk of dying. While extremely intelligent, they don't have the ability to throw up, and they don't have the ability to tell that their stomach is full and should stop eating. Allowing a horse into a feed/grain room WILL allow it to eat itself to death.

Other common woes stable hands and riders deal with when trying to handle a horse with an unrestrained head is getting bitten! Horses express affection between members of their own herd, and those they consider friends and family, through nibbling and surprisingly rough biting. It's not called "horseplay" for nothing, because during my years working with horses out in the pasture, it wasn't uncommon at all for me to find individuals with bloody bite marks on their withers (that high part on the middle of the back of their shoulders most people instinctively reach for when they try to get up), and on their backsides. I've been love-bitten by horses before, and while flattering, they hurt like hell on fleshy human skin.

So, for the safety of the horse, and everybody else, always make a show of somehow controlling the animal's head when hands-on and on the ground with them.

-Big Horse = War Horse

Startlingly, the opposite is usually the case! Draft and carriage horses, like Percherons and Friesians, were never meant to be used in warfare. Draft horses are usually bred to be extremely even-tempered, hard to spook, and trustworthy around small children and animals. Historically, they're the tractors of the farm if you could afford to upgrade from oxen, and were never built to be fast or agile in a battlefield situation.

More importantly, just because a horse is imposing and huge doesn't make it a good candidate for carrying heavy weights. A real thing that I had to be part of enforcing when I worked at a teaching ranch was a weight limit. Yeah, it felt shitty to tell people they couldn't ride because we didn't have any horses strong enough to carry them due to their weight, but it's a matter of the animal's safety. A big/tall/chonky horse is more likely to be built to pull heavy loads, but not carry them flat on their spines. Horses' muscular power is predominantly in their ability to run and pull things, and too heavy a rider can literally break a horse's spine and force us to euthanize it.

Some of the best war horses out there are from the "hot blood" family. Hot blooded horses are often from dry, hot, arid climates, are very small and slight (such as Arabian horses), and are notoriously fickle and flighty. They're also a lot more likely to paw/bite/kick when spooked, and have even sometimes been historically trained to fight alongside their rider if their rider is dismounted in combat; kicking and rearing to keep other soldiers at a distance.

-Any horse can be ridden if it likes you enough.

Just like it can take a lifetime to learn to ride easily, it can take a lifetime of training for a horse to comfortably take to being ridden or taking part in a job, like pulling a carriage. Much like service animals, horses are typically trained from extremely young ages to be reared into the job that's given to them, and an adult horse with no experience carrying a rider is going to be just as scared as a rider who's never actually ridden a horse.

Just as well, the process of tacking up a horse isn't always the most comfortable experience for the horse. To keep the saddle centered on the horse's back when moving at rough or fast paces, it's essential to tighten the belly strap (cinch) of the saddle as tightly as possible around the horse's belly. For the horse, it's like wearing a tight corset, chafes, and even leaves indents in their skin afterward that they love having rinsed with water and scratched. Some horses will learn to inflate their bellies while you're tightening the cinch so you can't get it as tight as it needs to be, and then exhale when they think you're done tightening it.

When you're working with a horse wearing a bridle, especially one with a bit, it can be a shocking sensory experience to a horse that's never used a bit before. While they lack a set of teeth naturally, so the bit doesn't actually hurt them, imagine having a metal rod shoved in your mouth horizontally! Unless you understand why it's important for the person you care about not dying, you'd be pretty pissed about having to keep it in there!

-Horseback riding isn't exercise.

If you're not using every muscle in your body to ride with, you're not doing it right.

Riding requires every ounce of muscle control you have in your entire body - although this doesn't mean it wasn't realistic for people with fat bodies to stay their weight while also being avid riders; it doesn't mean the muscles aren't there. To stay on the horse, you need to learn how it feels when it moves at different gaits (walk, trot, canter, gallop), how to instruct it to switch leads (dominant legs; essential for precise turning and ease of communication between you and the horse), and not falling off. While good riders look like they're barely moving at all, that's only because they're good riders. They know how to move so seamlessly with the horse, feeling their movements like their own, that they can compensate with their legs and waists to not bounce out of the saddle altogether or slide off to one side. I guarantee if you ride a horse longer than 30 minutes for the first time, your legs alone will barely work and feel like rubber.

-Horses aren't affectionate.

Horses are extraordinarily affectionate toward the right people. As prey animals, they're usually wary of people they don't know, or have only recently met. They also - again, like service animals - have a "work mode" and a "casual mode" depending upon what they're doing at the time. Horses will give kisses like puppies, wiggle their upper lips on your hair/arms to groom you, lean into neck-hugs, and even cuddle in their pasture or stall if it's time to nap and you join them by leaning against their sides. If they see you coming up from afar and are excited to see you, they'll whinny and squeal while galloping to meet you at the gate. They'll deliberately swat you with their tails to tease you, and will often follow you around the pasture if they're allowed to regardless of what you're up to.

-Riding crops are cruel.

Only cruel people use riding crops to hurt their horses. Spurs? I personally object to, because any horse that knows you well doesn't need something sharp jabbing them in the side for emphasis when you're trying to tell them where you want them to go. Crops? Are genuinely harmless tools used for signalling a horse.

I mean, think about it. Why would crops be inherently cruel instruments if you need to trust a horse not to be afraid of you and throw you off when you're riding it?

Crops are best used just to lightly tap on the left or right flank of the horse, and aren't universally used with all forms of riding. You'll mainly see crops used with English riding, and they're just tools for communicating with the horse without needing to speak.

-There's only one way to ride a horse.

Not. At. All. At most teaching ranches, you'll get two options: Western, or English, because they tend to be the most popular for shows and also the most common to find equipment for. English riding uses a thinner, smaller saddle, narrower stirrups, and much thinner bridles. I, personally, didn't like English style riding because I never felt very stable in such a thin saddle with such small stirrups, and didn't start learning until my mid teens. English style riding tends to focus more on your posture and deportment in the saddle, and your ability to show off your stability and apparent immovability on the horse. It was generally just a bit too stiff and formal for me.

Western style riding utilizes heavier bridles, bigger saddles (with the iconic horn on the front), and broader stirrups. Like its name may suggest, Western riding is more about figuring out how to be steady in the saddle while going fast and being mobile with your upper body. Western style riding is generally the style preferred for working-type shows, such as horseback archery, gunning, barrel racing, and even rodeo riding.

-Wealthy horse owners have no relationship with their horses.

This is loosely untrue, but I've seen cases where it is. Basically, horses need to feel like they're working for someone that matters to them in order to behave well with a rider and not get impatient or bored. While it's common for people to board horses at off-property ranches (boarding ranches) for cost and space purposes, it's been historically the truth that having help is usually necessary with horses at some point. What matters is who spends the most time with the animal treating it like a living being, rather than a mode of transport or a tool. There's no harm in stable hands handling the daily upkeep; hay bales and water buckets are heavy, and we're there to profit off the labor you don't want or have the time to do. You get up early to go to work; we get up early to look after your horses. Good owners/boarders visit often and spend as much of their spare time as they can with spending quality work and playtime with their horses. Otherwise, the horses look to the stable hands for emotional support and care.

So, maybe you're writing a knight that doesn't really care much for looking after his horse, but his squire is really dedicated to keeping up with it? There's a better chance of the horse having a more affectionate relationship with the squire thanks to the time the squire spends on looking after it, while the horse is more likely to tolerate the knight that owns it as being a source of discipline if it misbehaves. That doesn't mean the knight is its favorite person. When it comes to horses, their love must be earned, and you can only earn it by spending time with them hands-on.

-Horses can graze anywhere without concern.

This is a mistake that results in a lot of premature deaths! A big part of the cost of owning a horse - even before you buy one - is having the property that will be its pasture assessed for poisonous plants, and having those plants removed from being within the animal's reach. This is an essential part of farm upkeep every year, because horses really can't tell what's toxic and what isn't. One of the reasons it's essential to secure a horse when you aren't riding it is to ensure it only has a very limited range to graze on, and it's your responsibility as the owner/rider to know how to identify dangerous plants and keep your horses away from them.

There's probably more. AMA in my askbox if you have any questions, but that's all for now. Happy writing.

#horse riding #apologies for the ramble but i have Opinions on horse riding #Youtube

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hdsc-ace · 2 years ago

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Avonlea's prodigy || Anne with an E

Rest of my work.

Warnings: none.

Annabelle Carlisle returns to Avonlea from her stay in London to be greeted with her red-headed replacement. No one is pleased with the outcome.

"Three months. Three months, Diana. And you become best friends with some Orphan brat like I don't exist." Two young girls stood in a room arguing. The girl's head was blessed with Coppery Red hair stood by the window yelling at her Raven haired friend who sat on the bed. Annabelle, the red-headed freak, hours ago returned from a three-month trip to England to visit her dying grandmother. She only returned to find out that fellow farmers, The Cuthbert's had taken on a girl. A girl from an Orphan Asylum.

"No one said anything about replacing anyone, Annie." Diana snaps, yanking her arm out of Annie's grip. "And Anne is an extraordinary girl who was lucky enough to get adopted. She needs friends."

"It's Annabelle." Annabelle states blankly to Diana, her eyes locked onto the ground. "I can't associate with someone who can be friends with such a thing." She spits, ending style two's friendship. "Good day, Miss Barry." Annabelle bids the girl a brief goodbye as she walks to the front door, grabbing her hat and coat on the way.

"leaving so soon?" Mrs Barry asks as soon as Annie's hand touches the front door "Everything okay, belle?" She asks again after getting no response.

"Yes, I'm fine. I just remembered that my mother needs help with - the umm." She stumbled over my words, in order to make up a lie. "I'm just- yeah..." She mumbled while pointing to the door. Finally giving up, Belle just walks through the door. As soon as the door closes, she slides onto the floor, her knees pulled up to her face as she cries.

Little did Belle know that Mrs Barry watched her from the window not far from her. "Diana, dear come here." She calls as she watches Belle quickly gather herself and run away before anyone could see the mess she was in, no lady should be seen crying. But Annabelle wasn't classed as a lady in Avonlea, but that's what happens when you grow up on a farm with a family full of males. Her father, uncle and her two brothers.

»»————-　♡　————-««

The next day Belle trudged the cold forest alone as she walked to school. It'll be her first day back in a while and she was excited to see her friends, well not Diana. But I guess you can't count us as friends anymore. Noticing the jars of milk as she nears closer to the school alerts her that mostly everyone was there already, causing her to quickly pick up her pace. As she entered the wooden building, a familiar face within a group of boys caught her eye. "Gil." She smiles as she runs up to the standing boy, wrapping her arms around him. Within the three months apart, there was no one she missed more than Gilbert Blythe. The two grew up together and were rarely separated, they were best friends despite how the adults around Avonlea felt about it.

"Belle." He greats back as he wraps his arms around the girl in return.

"How's your dad?" Belle smiles softly as the two part before Gilbert could respond, a voice interrupted.

"Queen Victoria is back." A voice laughs from behind Gilbert. "Now the two love birds are back together." Belle and Gilbert shared an annoyed look as Gilbert moved to the side, allowing Belle to get a look at the mysterious voice.

Belle and Gilbert were always assumed to be courting because of their closeness but that was never the case, Belle and Gilbert were strictly best friends and will always be. They promised each other. Well they were seven, But they still promised.

"That's something I didn't miss." The girl groaned as she saw Billy Andrews sat on top of a desk, watching her.

"Feel the love there, Annabelle, I really do." He joked, knowing it got on the girl's nerves. "Your presence wasn't missed one bit." Billy says as he points over to the group of girls at the desk.

The exact group of girls were the very ones that Belle grew up with, Josie, Tilly, Ruby, Jane and Diana. But there was one addition, A red head. Her complexion wasn't too far off Belle's own one. The girl wore her Carrot coloured hair in two braids and freckles outlined her face. Compared to Belle's standards of herself, This girl was far more beautiful.

"Knock it off." Gilbert tells Billy as he notices his best friend's face drop as she watches the group laugh at something The new girl said. "Belle?" He asked, standing in front of Belle's view of the group.

"Three months." Belle muttered to herself. "I have been gone for three months." She says louder. "Diana told me they didn't replace me and it clearly looks like they did. Found a better red headed freak that fitted the slot more perfectly than I ever did." She complained with a small cry but Gilbert could reassure the girl, Mr Phillips came into the room.

Everyone quickly got to their seats except Belle. She watched as the orphan freak sat down in her normal seat, next to Diana. "Miss Carlise." Mr Phillips says, attempting to pull the girl out of her trance. Gilbert's hand wraps around her's, squeezing it slightly, making the girl become aware of what's happening.

Belle's eyes darted down to the two's hands, instantly making the girl calmer. It was a thing Gilbert picked up over the years. Ever since Belle's mother died she became more paranoid and the only way Gilbert managed to get the girl to calm down was by squeezing her hand.

"Today, Miss Carlise." Mr Phillips says, more annoyed. "Unless you want to spend the day as a male, you're already dressed for the part." He jokes, making half the class laugh. He was right, Belle was dressed in trousers and a simple blouse, something no woman should wear. Especially in public. Belle couldn't afford anything else, she had to stick with the hand-me-downs from her older brothers.

Not caring, Belle picks up her Books off Gilbert's desk and slides them to the other side of the boy before sitting next to him. This only made the class laugh more and Mr Phillips more annoyed. During this Gilbert tried his best to hide his laughter but clearly failed as Belle noticed and elbowed him in the side.

"Do you think they're dating?" Ruby whispers to Josie next to her. "They're awfully close, and Annie has never done that before." She tells the girl in a worried tone, gesturing to the stunt Belle just pulled.

"They're just friends." Josie reassures. "After all you have dibs. She's just upset."

"About what?" Ruby asks. Josie goes to respond but gets cut off by Diana answering for her.

"Anne replacing her." The girl states as she leans back, her eyes watching Belle from across the room.

"But she's not." Ruby says, looking shocked.

"England does some weird things to a young lady." Josie tells the two before listening back to the class.

"Open your readers to page 32. We will read Barry Cornwall's poem The Fisherman." Mr Phillips says, making the class pull out their books. "Diana Barry. Stand and begin." He orders.

"You never got to answer." Belle whispers to Gilbert as Diana struggles to read. "How is your dad? Is it any worse?" She asks, watching Gilbert's movement for anything unusual.

Mr Blythe was like a second dad to Belle, she cared for him like family. Belle was there to help

"He's getting there." He tells her, with a small smile. The two both know that eventually Mr Blythe will have to depart, leaving Gilbert alone. But when he does Gilbert will have Belle by his side, whether he likes it or not.

"Can I come round soon? Just to see how he's doing?" She asks calmly, hoping not to puncture anything that'll make Gilbert uncomfortable.

"He'll like that." He smiles as the two return to the lesson.

"New girl. Up. Continue." Mr Phillips orders, making Anne stand up proudly with a smile on her face.

"O'er the wild waters laboring far from home for some bleak pittance e'er compelled to roam." She dramatically read. "Few hearts to cheer him through his dangerous life." As Anne read, all the class, par two, were laughing. Gilbert was watching the girl with a small smile as Belle was staring at her book in slight anger. "And none to aid him in the stormy strife. Companion of the sea and silent air the lonely fisher this must ever fare." As Belle glances over at Anne she makes brief eye contact with Josie who wears a disgusted look, similar to Belle's very own.

"She's good. Invested." Gilbert tells Belle as he quickly glances back down to his book then back up to Anne. This only makes Belle silently scoff.

"Without the comfort, hope, with a scarce friend. He looks through life and only sees its end." Anne dramatically finishes, folding her spare hand over her chest and holds her head down, only making the class laugh more.

"Sit down!" Mr Phillips orders. "Sweet merciful lord." He begs under his breath.

The entire class bursts out into laughter except Belle. She just sat with her head resting on her hand, reading the book. "Annabelle Carlisle." Mr Phillips says, quieting down the class. "Read Campbell's pleasures of hope, The downfall of Poland."

Belle instantly stands up and starts reading in a tone completely the opposite of Anne's. "Oh! Sacred Truth! Thy triumph ceased a while..."

»»————-　♡　————-««

Belle sat alone by a nearby tree at lunch. She never did this but things changed. She didn't want to be near that new Orphan freak at all. This is the new Annabelle Carlisle.

"Hey." I voice greets as they sit down next to the girl.

"Prissy." Belle greets back as she bites into an apple. Her eyes watching the boys play in front of her. "I thought I was too disgrace for you to even be near me."

"Well you seemed pretty lonely and I'm guessing my sister and her friends replaced you with the orphan." Prissy says as she straightens out her dress while sitting down. Belle picks up a notebook, opening it a recently written in page. "It's not the same without them. Is it?" She asks, focussing her attention onto me.

"I'm fine on my own, Priscilla." Belle tells Prissy. "Have been, will be." She says while rereading what's already been read in the book.

"You haven't tho." She says. "You had Gilbert, Diana, Ruby, Josie, Jane. Now you don't." Prissy places it on top of Belle's hand, causing Belle to sharply pull hers away.

"I said i'll be fine." The girl snaps. "What do you want, prissy? Honestly, You never talk to me, even when I was talking to Jane," She begins to pack up her lunch and book, hoping not to have to talk to Prissy anymore. Prissy always brings gossip. "Good day, Prissy." Belle bids as she begins walking to the schoolhouse door. Her hand hovers over the doorknob as she looks over to see Anne rushing away from a very confused Gilbert. Quickly, she moves out of the way from Anne but manages to walk into Billy.

"Watch it. Someone actually might think you like me or something from how much you can't stay away." Billy laughs as the two meet face to face. "Wanna play, Carlisle?" He jokes, throwing the small ball into Belle's chest, dropping to the floor as It bounces off her books.

Knowing where this was going, Belle bends down and replaces the books in her hand for the ball. "I have a better aim than you think, Andrews." She says as she throws it into the space between the two before Billy catches it.

"I'm happy to test that theory out." He smirks as he begins to toss the ball into the air, catching it a few times. "A game." He suggests

Belle's eyes shift to the boys behind Billy, they were all quietly laughing to themselves as they watched the two talk. "Set something up and maybe we will eventually." She smiles before walking into the school house, glancing back at Billy once more before going in.

»»————-　♡　————-««

The tapping of chalk against the student's boards echoed the classroom as they copied down what Mr Phillips was writing in silence. Belle watched Gilbert as he glanced at Mr Phillips to Anne repeatedly before grabbing a piece of scrunched up paper and throwing it at her. As the paper hits Anne's face her head shoots up. The girl looks at Gilbert from the corner of her eye before looking down at her board.

"Stop." Belle whispers to the boy while kicking his ankle but Gilbert ignores her. He picked up some chalk and repeated the process, this caught a few people's attention.

Still not satisfied, Gilbert picks up the apple in front of him and quietly walks to the girl. "Whoops." he says as he places the apple on the desk. Ruby and Belle's eyes follow Gilbert as he bends down next to Anne. "hey." He whispers. "Carrots." He says louder, Pulling one of Anne's braids which tipped the girl over the edge.

"Im not talking to you!" She shouts while slapping Gilbert around the face with her board, breaking it in the process. The whole class gasps and looks at the two before erupting into laughter.

Belle quickly stands up, waiting to see if she needs to intervene. "I wouldn't." Billy whispers to Belle from behind, making the girl sit back down.

"Shirley!" Mr Phillips yells to Anne, the class suddenly dead silent at this. "Get up here now! What a vicious display?" He scolds while cleaning the board. Everyone followed Anne's movements as she slowly walked to the front. "Is this what they taught you in that orphanage? Unacceptable."

Belle studies Gilbert's sudden emotion change as he watches Anne. "Told you not to." She whispers to the boy, only to get a harsh shove.

Ann Shirley Mr Phillips writes on the board, motioning for Anne to turn around before writing again. "Anne Shirley has a very bad temper." He reads while writing. "Stand here and stay put." He orders Anne before turning to the noisy class. "And the rest of you Pipe down! Let this serve as a lesson to you that we do not tolerate such displays of temper, here in a civilized society." He explains.

Belle's hand quickly went to her face to cover her smile as she watched Anne getting lectured. "It was my fault. Sir, I, Umm... I-I teased her." Gilbert quickly stands, trying to take the blame.

"Quiet, Blythe. That is hardly an excuse." Mr Phillips says while the class starts laughing again.

Fed up, Belle stands up. "I told him to, Sir." Despite how much she hated Anne and how much Gilbert was protecting her, she knew that her attempting to help would ruin her reputation if word got to her parents but If Gilbert was trying to take blame for the girl she should at least take it for Gilbert. "The freak has no place here. She's not one of us." Belle says while glaring at Anne.

"Still, Hardly an excuse." Mr Phillips tells Belle, neither agreeing or disagreeing with what the girl said. "Quiet, all of you, and return to your lesson."

#Anne with an E #Gilbert Blythe #writing #fanfiction #netflix #fanfic #writings #am writing #writerblr #HDSC-Ace

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pasteljooonie · 5 years ago

Text

Infatuation | Yoongi

Description; Agust D was a world know rapper. Yoongi, was a brat that had too much money to handle. When he and his manager run into trouble, he realizes the attitude that comes out when around her is jealously, because he couldn’t have her.

Warning; Cussing, Mature, Blood Mentions, Fighting

Smut Warning; Rough sex, Biting, Multiple Orgasms, Fingering, Body Appreciation, Unprotected Sex.

Genre; Angst | Smut | AU

Pairing; Yoongi x Reader | Namjoon x Jin

Word Count; 6.7k

"And that's a wrap for tonight! Take it on home, and get some sleep, we have to be back at seven am sharp, anyone late will be fired, that's a promise! Now get your asses home." You sighed, watching the crew begin to disperse, all sharing collective sighs of relief. You were shooting Yoongi's newest music video, and were finally calling a night at two am, thankful there was little needed to be put away, as the rest could remain out for tomorrow's shoot, and what did need to be storaged was being handled by the interns, and they were already nearly done. "Wow it almost seems like you don't want to be here, how shocking." You mocked, walking up to Yoongi as his assistant handed him a water bottle. "Wow it almost seems like you don't have anything productive to say, how shocking." He fired back, making you hit him with your clipboard. "I'm sorry, what would you like me to say? You did great today, you weren't a dick to all the interns, you were cooperative with the crew, you didn't throw more than four tantrums, congrats." You scoffed, making him roll his eyes in response. You were a manager, working under BigHit, and specifically assigned to Yoongi. He had a history of not getting along with his managers, and you were hired to keep him in check, and help him as he toured, produced music, and made music videos. "If you're going to be August D, you need to be productive." You spoke up again. "Stop showing up late and covered in hickeys, stop acting like a frat boy, and screw your head on straight. I'm not going to keep cleaning up your messes when you're too hungover to clean them up yourself. I'm not an assistant, I'm a manager. I don't assist, I manage, and that means sending your ass home, and going to bed, since you need to be awake and back here, in five hours. Otherwise, this album isn't happening, and you can kiss your next tour goodbye." You snapped, making him glare at you. "암캐" he muttered under his breath, making you roll your eyes. "Now go." You snapped, watching him storm away as you sighed, rubbing your temples irritably, before turning away. Making sure everyone was gone, before leaving yourself.

"God he's so obnoxious. They warned me of what I would have to deal with, but god sometimes I just want to punch him in the face." You sighed, laying next to your two closest friends, both of them nodding in agreement. "From what we've heard, only the twelve thousand times you rant about him, sounds like it." Jin said, making you sigh. "He's just a bratty rich kid." You groaned. "And I'm working these hellish hours, not getting any sleep at all, and he's out partying and making me clean him up when he stumbles in drunk again." You huffed. "Well you probably don't get any sleep because you spend the 4 hours you have sitting on your bed complaining to us." Tae said, making you sigh again. "I know, but this is the only therapy I have, so I don't care." You sat up slowly, rubbing your eyes, before sighing again. "Besides, tomorrow is the last day of shooting, it'll only be a six hour day, then I can stay away from him for the next week while they edit and finish it, after that it's just choreo, so I just sit and watch during those sessions." You explained. "Sounds like a babysitter." Jin said, making you shrug. "Then I'm his babysitter. I don't care anymore, as soon as this tour starts everything will be fine. He's just being more of a pain in my ass than usual and I have no idea why." You mumbled, rubbing your eyes softly as you glanced at the clock beside your bed, it was still only three, you could get at least two hours of sleep if you kicked the boys out of your room soon. "Maybe he's on his period." Tae said, making you smack him as Jin laughed, "yeah maybe." You sighed, unable to hide the yawn that escaped your lips. Tae rubbed your back softly before moving to the edge of the bed and forcing you to lay down. "Get some rest, you clearly need it." Jin said softly, you waved your hand at him, but felt sleep nearly pull you under the second your head hit the pillows. "I don't know what I would do without you guys." You whispered, yawning again as you let your eyes close, feeling the bed move as they both got up, and Jin patted your leg softly. "Probably die."

Your sleep was too short, and it was too cold as your alarm woke you up. You groaned in annoyance as you turned it off, resisting the urge to throw your phone at the wall. Groaning again, you sat up slowly, setting your phone down as you grabbed a pillow and repeatedly hit yourself in the face with it. The last thing you wanted was to be awake right now. Finally sighing in defeat, you set the pillow down and made yourself stand up, shivering as you made your way to the bathroom. You didn't change last night, too tired to care about what you slept in, and that meant your makeup as well. You spent a few minutes splashing your face with cold water and cleaning it until it looked presentable, before finally getting dressed. You grabbed the first outfit you found, thankful you were able to wear clothes for comfort and not business, you were able to wear jeans and a regular shirt. Once you were finally dressed you walked out of the room, sighing as you reached the kitchen, and were startled to see Tae and Jin both awake, the later standing by the stove while Tae sat at the island. "Morning sleeping beauty." Jin said softly, setting a plate of toast next to Tae. "I know you have to go, so I made a to-go bag." He smiled, setting a brown paper bag next to the toast. "You're a life saver." You sighed, smiling appreciatively at him as you set your jacket next to the bag, "I have to go get my shoes, I'll be back around one? Maybe two? You guys got any plans?" You asked, already walking back to your room. "Nope! Days off." Tae yelled. "We should go to lunch!" You yelled back, sliding your shoes on, and grabbing your phone. "Sounds good to me." Tae replied, you heard Jin mumble something as well, and smiled to yourself. Glancing down at your phone you saw a missed call and text from Yoongi from half an hour ago.

"Where are you?"

"Shit." You cursed, standing up quickly and running back to the living room, "gotta go. Thanks for the breakfast, see you guys later." You mumbled hurriedly, thanking Jin as he handed you a thermos of coffee, and helped you collect your things. "Yoongi?" Tae asked, despite already knowing the answer. "Babysitter can't be late." You replied, making him snort softly, you said bye to them again and shut the door, cursing under your breath as you hurried to your car.

"You're not supposed to be here until seven." You told Yoongi, watching him struggle to get out of his car. "What time is it?" He asked, rubbing his eyes irritably as you huffed. "Six. The time I'm supposed to be here. What are you doing?" You asked, watching him shrug. "I woke up here." He mumbled, taking a step forward, and tripping over his feet. You watched him fall to the ground and cursed, setting your things on top of his car and helped him back onto his feet. "You woke up here?" You asked, putting his arm over your shoulder and leading him to the set as he nodded. "Did you drive back here? I watched you leave last night, did you come back for something?" You asked, sitting him in a chair as he groaned. "You." His voice was weak as he mumbled, and you sighed. "Stay here." You told him, before going back to his car and grabbing your things. "Why were you looking for me?" You asked, sitting across from him as he groaned. "I don't know. That's all I remember before waking up in my car here." He answered, and you sighed. "You probably got shitfaced. You look hungover, here." He glanced at you blearily as you held out your thermos for him, he took it and twisted the cap off, sniffing the contents questioningly. "It's not black, but it should help keep you awake, eat this, I need to make a call, the crew will have my head if there's no coffee and donuts this morning." You told him, standing up as you watched him begin eating the breakfast Jin made for you. "There's always coffee and donuts." Yoongi said softly making you scoff. "I know. I pick them up from the bakery, but I couldn't stop by before I got here because I had to come make sure you weren't in the back of a police car." You told him, watching him shrug as you stepped away and called Tae.

"I owe you." You sighed gratefully as Tae and Jin arrived with bags and boxes in their arms, "Well we do still have lunch later right? That'll cover it." Tae smiled cheekily as he helped you set up the table, "what's that?" You asked Jin as he held out a bag for you. "More breakfast. I knew you'd give it to him, and you need to eat too." He said as you smiled, hugging him tightly. "God I really would die without you two." You mumbled, beginning to set the donuts up in their usual position. You suddenly heard a car approach and raised your head, it was still six thirty, nobody was supposed to be here yet, but realization crossed your face as you watched the car park and saw four boys step out. "Those are his roommates." You told Tae and Jin, focusing your attention back on the donuts. "He's back here boys." You yelled loud enough for them to hear, but you heard the footsteps stop close and raised your head in confusion, startled to see them standing on the other side of the table holding boxes of donuts. "Yoongi?" You asked, glancing back at the rapper, who shrugged. "Thank you." You mumbled, taking the boxes from them. "This is so many oh my god." You laughed softly, trying to make room for them all, "well I guess this can be used as a way to say thanks since today's the last day of filming." You shrugged, clearing the trash as you turned back to Yoongi, he was still eating Jin's breakfast and slid money to one of his roommates, making you roll your eyes. "Thank you Yoongi. Now we have enough for everyone to go into a diabetic coma." You laughed softly, making a smile grace his lips for a second. "Thank you guys again, I'm sorry for bothering you." You turned to Tae and Jin, watching them only shrug in response, "it was no problem, honestly." Tae replied, Jin remained silent, his eyes glancing at one of Yoongi's roommates. You rolled your eyes playfully before hugging the both of them, and bidding goodbye as they went back home, soon followed by Yoongi's roommates leaving as well.

"You didn't have to do that you know." You said once it was just the two of you. "You're always cleaning up my messes, take it as a thank you, for everything you do." His voice was soft, and you were almost startled hearing those words pass his lips. He never thanked you for something done indirectly. "Well, thank you." You mumbled, making him snort as you began to drink the coffee Jin had brought. "I just thanked you, and your response is 'thank you'? Okay ___" he laughed, and you felt heat rise to your face, and your stomach flutter. You cringed at the feeling and occupied yourself with setting up the props, you didn't know why he was acting so different towards you, but your hated the way it made you feel. After knowing him for nearly two years, him suddenly not acting like a brat was startling. You just hoped he'd go back to how he usually acts soon. "Do you have any medicine?" Yoongi suddenly asked, making you jump and turn to face him, "umm, like pain killers? Yeah." You nodded, walking over to your purse and grabbing the pill bottle. "Do you have a headache?" You asked, pouring the pills into your hand and grabbing him a water bottle. He nodded, thanking you softly as you handed the items to him. You watched him take the pills and pressed your forearm against his forehead. "Are you getting sick?" You asked, squatting down to look him in the eyes, you put your hands on either side of his face. "You're warm. How do you feel?" You asked, grabbing a towel, putting water on it, and holding it against his head. He didn't reply. His eyes were trained on yours, studying your features, until you snapped him out of it. "F-Fine." He answered, blinking slowly as his eyes trailed from your eyes to your lips. "Take it easy alright? You've still got twenty minutes until things actually start, use the peace and quiet as much as you can, see if you can shut your eyes for a bit." You told him, your eyes meeting his, and you saw an emotion behind his eyes that you couldn't place, and shrugged it off as his hangover. "There's more coffee if you need it. Today's an easy day today. Very little dancing, mostly just the slow scenes. It's scheduled as a six hour day, but if we work well enough, shooting should be done within three hours, and we can take breaks if you need any, just let me know if you start feeling sick okay?" You told him, watching him nod as you stood up. He mumbled something under his breath that you couldn't hear, and you shrugged it off and returned to setting things up.

"And that is a wrap on the music video! Thank you so much to everyone that contributed to making this, it's been a pleasure working with all of you, please, take some donuts on your way out." You laughed as everyone clapped, saying goodbye to each other and packing up their items. "Yoongi, you alright?" You asked, walking over to him as he sat in a chair, fanning himself with your clipboard. He nodded slowly, and you feigned a smile. "See? Just like I said, a three hour day. And we're done. You don't have anything other than editing, but you don't need to be there for that if you’re not up for it, so you have the next week to relax and feel better, use it. Don't be out partying, otherwise this sickness isn't going to go away okay? Tell your roommates to buy soup and painkillers. Until then..." You trailed off, reaching into your bag and pulling out the pill bottle from earlier. "Don't abuse it, it's just light stuff." You told him, making him roll his eyes as he took the bottle from you. "Thank you." He said softly, and you nodded, smiling at him again, before beginning to clean up. Today's clean up was longer as things actually had to be taken, and fully cleaned, but by the end it was just you and Yoongi, and two left over boxes of donuts.

"You okay to drive?" You asked, walking over to him, and holding a donut box out. "Yeah." He nodded, waving it off as he gathered his things, seeming more energized than earlier. "Thank you for earlier." He said softly, setting his car keys on top of the box in his hands. "I know I'm a pain in the ass. But I genuinely do appreciate it. I don't know what I would do without you." He said softly. You couldn't help but smile as you glanced at your feet shyly. "Probably die." You replied, he smiled and nodded his head, "yeah, you're probably right. I'll see you around." He said with a soft laugh, waving as he walked to his car. You watched him leave and sighed, watching his car drive away, and you felt a feeling in your gut you hadn't felt in a long time.

"You're an idiot." Tae scoffed. "I know." You groaned in annoyance, holding your head in your hands, sighing as you glanced back up at the boys sitting across from you. The three of you were at lunch, and you had told them that your feelings for Yoongi were turning from a hatred to more of a caring nature. "You were just telling us you wanted to punch him in the face." Jin reminded you. "I know." You sighed. "And now you're saying that you want to kiss him in the face." He said making you snort softly at his wording. "I know I'm just as irritated at myself as you are, but I don't know, he was just acting really different today, he was being nicer, and thanking me-" "that's toxic." Tae interrupted you, making you sigh. "It's not like he's an asshole that beats me and I'm forgiving him because he gave me a flower. He's just annoying, and he's being really nice now, call it a character arc, he's acting a lot nicer, and I appreciate it." You told them, "you're appreciating it too much." Jin replied, making you sigh for the millionth time. "I'm not saying I'm going to go and suck the guys dick. All I'm saying is, he's acting a lot nicer now, and I'm appreciating it. Okay? That's all." You defended yourself. You saw Tae and Jin share a look before sighing. "Just don't move too fast alright? This isn't just a one night stand that you'll forget, this is also your job, and if things go south, BigHit won't just fire Yoongi, managers are replaceable in the eyes of big corporations." Tae warned you, making you nod slowly and huff as you shoved some of your food in your mouth. "I need new friends that will just condone my stupid habits instead of being smart and warning me of the consequences." You sighed, making Jin roll his eyes as he kicked your leg playfully.

Yoongi's attitude didn't change. It was a month later now, and everything was going smoothly, his music video was done, had been for a few weeks now, and you two were just preparing things for tour, and he was still being nice and friendly. You didn't know what had gotten into him to suddenly make him change his attitude, but you knew one thing, it made your 'want to kiss him' turn into a 'want to have a relationship with him' and even you weren't blind enough to know these were dangerous waters. But as of now, nothing mattered as you danced alongside Jin and Tae. The club you stood in was loud and sweaty, drinks in your guys' hands as you forgot about the next day's duties. "Looky looky." Tae teased, pointing out the entrance where you watched Yoongi and his roommates walk in. "Shut up and tease Jin, I'm getting another drink." You smacked his shoulder playfully before walking over to the bar. You sat on a stool and ordered your drink, watching Yoongi approach as you waited. He didn't see you at first, but his excitement when he did was impossible to not notice. "Hey!" He greeted, smiling wide as he walked over, sitting on the stool next to you. "What're you guys doing here?" You asked, watching him order four drinks and a water. "Boys wanted a night out." He told you, handing the drinks to his roommates, and taking the water for himself. "That's new." You pointed out, watching him shrug. "I'm the driver." He replied, watching you nod understandably. "Yeah that's Jin's duty tonight, I just wanted to drink." You snorted softly, watching Yoongi glance at your roommates. "The pink haired one?" He asked, watching you nod in response. "What's his sexuality, do you know?" Yoongi asked, making your heart drop suddenly, "he uh, he's bisexual. Why?" You asked nervously. "My friend, Namjoon-" he pointed him out. "Has been eyeing him, just curious." He replied making you laugh softly. "That's good, Jin's been eyeing him as well." You told him, making him laugh softly. "Perfect, we'll have to try and find a way to set them up then eh?" He laughed, nudging you softly as you smiled, nodding in agreement. "I have to go to the bathroom can you watch my drink?" You hiccuped, watching him nod, he slid the drink closer to him and you got up, thanking him softly before heading to the bathroom like stated. You sighed at the line, despite expecting nothing less from a crowded bar. You waited your turn and were thankful it went quick, and you were already heading back to where Yoongi sat just a few minutes later. "That was unusually quick." He commented, making you scoff softly as you grabbed your drink. "What you time my bathroom breaks now?" You laughed, taking a sip of your drink as he laughed softly, "no, I just meant for usual bar bathroom times, there's always long lines." He said, making you nod, smiling as you saw Jin smiling as he leaned against the bar, and talked to Namjoon, "How're you feeling?" You asked him, seeing him more spaced out than usual, he sat up slowly and stretched. "I'm fine." He replied, turning to face you. "Just bored." He shrugged, you nodded, pursing your lips, you hesitated, before finishing your drink and standing up, "wanna dance?" You asked, holding your hand out to him, he seemed hesitant, before taking your hand and letting you lead him to the dance floor. He seemed awkward, and unsure what to do as you began to move slowly, smiling encouragingly, he slowly began to dance with you, a smile on his face as you two began to dance with each other, and sway along to the music.

The room was spinning when you woke up. You weren't sure what had happened, and weren't sure why you felt as bad as you did. You had never had a hangover this bad, and groaned as you raised your arm in an attempt to brush your hair out of your face, but found it limp, and it fell onto your face painfully instead. "T-Tae?" You whispered, trying to open your eyes but finding it difficult to. You finally got them open and sighed in relief, your head spinning as you tried to sit up and move properly. After a few more moments you finally found strength, and were able to stand up, but found yourself gripping the dresser for support. Only now, you realized, you were not in your bedroom. You looked around quickly, your head buzzing as you analyzed the room around you, and sighed in relief when you recognized it as Yoongi's, from the many times you dragged him home drunk. The previous nights adventures ran through your mind, and you tried to piece it together as you moved towards the door, hoping you would find answers down the hallway. You groaned at the light and covered your eyes, having to hold onto the wall to keep yourself standing, you finally reached the living room and covered your eyes to block out the light, and sighed in relief when you saw Tae and Jin sitting in the living room. "Jin?" You mumbled softly, taking a step forward, the sound of your voice made all the boys face you, Tae and Jin jumped up off the couch and immediately ran to your side, "Hey, come lay back down." Tae mumbled, leading you back to Yoongi's bedroom, and you were too weak to protest. "What's going on?" You asked, looking at them with confused eyes. "Where's Yoongi? Why are we at his house?" You asked, sitting on the bed slowly. "You need to rest alright? We'll talk later, you need more sleep." Jin said softly, making you lay down as you tried to argue, but your words were mumbled and didn't make sense to even you, sighing in defeat, you acknowledged the tiredness pulling you back under, and heard yourself mumble Yoongi's name as you fell asleep.

"So is everyone going to pretend they can't hear me?" You asked. It was later now, a day after the bar, and you were still in Yoongi's bed, yet he was no where to be found. Namjoon was the victim of your question as he set food down on the bed for you. "I'm not sure I'm the best one to talk to you about it." He mumbled, self consciously wrapping his arms around yourself, but you didn't care who told you, you wanted to know what happened to leave you with little memory of the night and in the bed of the artist you managed. "I don't care, just tell me please, it's really irritating not knowing, and pretty panic inducing when nobody-not even your best friends are talking to you, and you're in someone else's bed, in their clothes." You knew the words hit him hard and he sighed, closing the door softly, and sat on the edge of Yoongi's bed, very hesitant as he tried to find his words. "You and Yoon were dancing...." He started, scratching the back of his neck nervously, "and he had to go make a phone call, so he asked Jin and I to keep an eye on you, because you were acting weird, we just thought you were drunk, and would occasionally glance at you." He explained. Your heart began racing in fear as you twisted your fingers together. "We only looked away for a few seconds, and when we looked back you were walking away with someone. We thought it was Yoongi. Your friend said that you two have gotten a lot closer in the last month and so we assumed you were leaving or-" "Namjoon." You interrupted him, wanting him to get back to the point. "It wasn't. We didn't know who he was. Yoongi said he was coming back inside after the phone call, and he saw him leading you out of the bar, you were barely awake, and were mumbling your friends name. I don't know what happened next, but by the time we made it outside, you were unconscious on the curb and Yoongi was on top of the other guy. We took you away quickly, not knowing what to do, but knowing the police would show up, me and Jin were driving you, and we decided to take you here, it was closer than your house, and we could both keep an eye on you until the others got back. They talked to the police, and the guy is gone, but nobody's heard from Yoongi since. He texted us, telling us to move you to his room, and make sure someone was always with you, and he's been gone since." He finished explaining. Your heart was racing as your stomach turned on itself, and you tried to figure out your emotions. You heard him call Jin's name softly, and soon had your friends comforting you as you tried to wrap your mind around everything.

The apartment was silent as you sat on the couch, still piecing your feelings together. It was a few hours later, later in the evening. Jin and Tae had left to get food, they tried to insist you come, or one of them stay with you, but you wanted alone time, and that's what you had for a little while, until you heard the doorbell ring. You got up slowly, and opened the door, your face falling as you saw Yoongi on the other side of the door, his head low as he held out a pill bottle, the painkillers you had given him during the music video. "Thought you might have a headache." He mumbled, still not meeting your eyes as you grabbed his arm and roughly pulled him into the apartment. "Are you kidding me?" You snapped, making him look up at you in shock. "After everything you tell them to put me in your bed, put me in your clothes, and yet you just disappear? With no trace? And don't bother saying anything o-or even texting?!" You snapped, pushing his chest as he took a deep breath. "I'm not doing this." He spoke calmly, despite the anger radiating off of him, he moved past you and towards the door, tossing the painkillers onto the counter. "No we are doing this because you owe me an explanation!" You snapped, walking over and putting your hand on the door, knowing he could open it despite your attempts if he tried hard enough. "What do you want me to say?!" He snapped turning to face you as his jaw trembled. "What do you want me to do huh? To face you? To talk to you? To pretend it's not my fault? Is that what you want ___? Cause you're not going to get it." He sneered, making your heart drop softly. "Yoongi this isn't your-" "how? How is it not my fault? You left your drink with me. You sat next to me. You danced with me. You trusted me." The last sentence was barely a whisper as he said it, tears welling in his eyes as you swallowed thickly. "You're hurt." You said softly, seeing dried blood on his neck, causing him to scoff as he turned away again. "You can't just walk out on me!" You yelled angrily, "watch me." He snapped, his hand on the door handle as you ran over to him. "I don't know why you're acting like this! We're both fine, and we barely even started being able to tolerate each other a month ago! It's not like we're good friends! You-“ you broke off, not finishing your sentence as it hurt yourself to say. "You don't know why I'm acting like this?" He asked, his voice dangerously low as he turned to face you again.

"I'm sorry, would you rather me go back to who I was? Treating you and everyone else like shit because I hated myself too much and couldn't admit that I was the problem?!" He snapped, making your face fall as you took a step back. "The wannabe frat boy drinking myself to death and fucking hookers cause I didn't want to admit that I was in love with the one girl that I couldn't have?! Is that what you want __?! You want an explanation?! I couldn't face you because I'm in fucking love with you and knowing you got hurt because of me made me not even able to face myself!" He snapped, a tear passing his eyes as you stood speechless in front of him. He scoffed as he turned on his feet again, and opened the apartment door. Before he could step out however, you raced to his side again, and this time when he faced you, you pressed your lips against his. Kicking the door shut you held him closely. He grabbed you suddenly, his fingers digging into your hips as he pulled your body roughly against his, panting against your lips as he lifted you up, you wrapped your legs around his waist and let him carry you to your room. Once in reach he threw you onto the bed, and climbed over you, his hands on either side of your head as he trailed his lips down to your neck, and pulled your shirt off quickly. You were panting underneath him as he kissed along the exposed skin of your stomach, and made his way down to your jeans, kissing above your jean-line as he undid your button and zipper, pulling them down your legs swiftly, you grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back up to you, kissing him messily as you began to undo his belt. He pulled away to take his shirt off, and let his jeans fall to the floor and kick them away, you looked at him above you, reach forward you trailed your fingers along his exposed skin, seeing fresh bruises littering his skin and a healing cut just below his jaw, undoubtedly from the fight Namjoon had explained, you pulled him down, kissing him softly. He smiled against your lips before trailing his down to your neck again, you felt his hand trail down your stomach before he slid his fingers into your panties, and found your clit. You gasped at the sudden feeling and tugged at his hair, feeling him groan against your neck as he began to rub circles on your clit quickly. You moaned and arched your back off the bed, wanting more of him you tried to tell him, but found yourself speechless as he entered a finger inside of you.

You whined at the feeling, pulling his head from your neck to kiss his lips as you moaned. "I'm gonna cum." You whispered, your thighs clenching around his hand, he smiled against your lips and entered another finger, making you whimper in pleasure as he egged you on, his lips still ghosting over yours as he smirked and whispered "good girl." You whined again as he added a third finger, thrusting them inside of you quickly, and curving them, making you gasp as he hit your g-spot. You gripped his shoulders roughly and found yourself moving your hips with him. He drank in your reactions and fastened his pace, swallowing your moans as you gasped, cumming around his fingers, he continued to rub your clit and bring you down from your high until there were tears in the corners of your eyes and you were breathless. "I need you." You didn't care how needy you sounded as you watched him smirk, bringing his fingers to his lips you watched him run his tongue over each of them, making you groan as you quickly undid your bra and threw it across the room, desperate to have him inside you, you pulled your underwear off next, and saw him finally begin to pull his underwear down, his smirk still on his lips as he found himself at the end of the bed, and kissing up your legs slowly. "Don't even think about it." You warned as he reached your thighs, paying extra attention to the soft skin on the insides of your thighs, you gasped as you felt a sharp pain, and saw him smirk and run his tongue over the bite mark, and you couldn't deny the heat it caused in your stomach. "Yoongi I swear to god-" you were cut off as he put his hand on your pussy again, his fingers teasing the folds as you whined. "Desperate, are we?" He teased, loving your reactions, he continued to slowly move his fingers, taunting you as he ran them along your slit slowly. "I'm going to kill you." You whispered breathlessly, making him laugh, and only egging him on more. "Easy, you're going to get what you want, I'm just having my fun. I can't help it, your reactions are fucking amazing." He smiled, kissing your stomach again, making you whine impatiently. He finally gave in, and moved his position, so he was now hovering over you, and kissed your lips softly. "You're so goddamn beautiful." He whispered, putting his hand on your cheek, and running his thumb over your bottom lip. "Now's not the best time to go soft on me Yoongi." You whispered, desperate for him to fuck you.

"I know, but it's rude to be looking at art and not appreciate the beauty of it." He hummed, letting his hand trail back down to your clit and rub slow circles on it. "Shut the fuck up and fuck me already." You panted, hating the stupid smirk on his stupid face as he peppered your face in kisses. "As you wish Jagiya." He whispered, giving you a soft wink, before lining himself with you, you felt him rub the tip of his cock slowly along your pussy, allowing it to collect your wetness and make his entry easier, you waited impatiently, and gasped as you felt him slowly push in. He only took seconds to bottom out, and stilled to let you adjust. "Holy fuck." You panted out, your mind in a haze and at a loss of words as you nodded at him, telling him it was okay to move. He leaned down and kissed you softly as he pulled out, before pushing back in. Still moving slowly as you panted against his lips, whimpering as his pace quickened. "Fuck." Yoongi gasped, groaning quietly as he sped up his thrusts, kissing you more passionately now as he stuck with his pace, driving both of you wild as you panted breathlessly into each other mouths. "Fuck..." You whined, gripping his shoulders tightly as he trailed his mouth down your body, focusing on your boobs, you felt him kiss along them before taking a nipple between his teeth, and teasing it, the sensation driving you wild as you moaned his name along with a string of cuss words. You felt one of his hand snake along your waist, feeling every inch of your skin as he leaned up to kiss you again. "Goddamn you're so perfect." He panted, brushing the hair out of your face to admire it. "You're not so bad yourself." You laughed softly, running your fingers through his hair, and letting out a high pitched whine as he hit your sweet spot. "God I'm not going to last long." You warned him, pulling him down to you as you kissed him roughly, "Good." He whispered, panting as he kissed along your body again, and his fingers found your clit again. He rubbed quick circles on it as you moaned, crying out his name as you came around him, your legs clamping down around his waist, you heard him whisper a string of curse words, before moaning loudly as he came inside of you. You panted tiredly as he stilled, his hair stuck to his forehead with sweat as his head hung low. You brushed his bangs out of his face, feeling him pull out and lay on the bed next to you. No sounds other than your breathing were made for a minute, until you laughed suddenly, your heart racing as you turned to face him, his face horror struck as you put your hand on his cheek.

"I love you too." You whispered, watching relief flood his features as he smiled, "I'm sorry, for being such a little bitch." He whispered, making you snort and shake your head. "It's fine. If I hated you I wouldn't of stuck around this long." You mumbled. He grabbed your hand off his cheek and kissed it softly, before leaning forward and kissing your lips. You smiled softly and kissed back, running your fingers through his hair as he pulled away, resting his forehead against yours and blinking slowly. "Do you want cereal?" You asked suddenly, making him burst out laughing as you smiled. "I haven't eaten much today and there's cereal in the kitchen and I really want some." You laughed softly, and he shook his head playfully. "Okay." He sat up slowly. "Let's go get some cereal then."

You two had only been in the kitchen for a few minutes when the door opened, and you watched Tae and Jin walk in, stopping suddenly as they saw Yoongi. "Fucking finally." Tae laughed, making you and Yoongi blush as you stared down at your cereal shyly, reaching over, you grabbed Yoongi's hand and smiled at him, and he smiled back, and in that moment, Yoongi and his smile was all that mattered to you.

#BTS Angst #BTS Fanfic #Namjoon #Seokjin #Yoongi #Taehyung #Hoseok #Jimin #Jungkook #BTS Imagine #Bangtan #BTS

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mystery-deer · 6 years ago

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Kevin faces with a homophobic colleague, which is always trying to insult him and sometimes even follows him in the university, saying bad things. Kevin 's very upset and doesn't want to tell Holt about it, because he thinks it'll bother him, since he had much more homophobes in his life and career.

“Kevin, are you busy?” The break room was empty and Kevin had been enjoying a cup of tea and scouring the news for something interesting. He looked up and suppressed a sigh as Sandra advanced towards him. Instead he just raised an eyebrow.

“No.” She smiled.

“Ooh, so sassy! You know-”

“Did you need me for something?” He interrupted before she could go on what would be a no-doubt infuriating one-sided conversation about how much she loved ‘the gays’ before trying to set him up with some random man she met once a few months ago. Telling her about his boyfriend only led to her blinking as if startled and then saying in a faux-whisper “Oh but…like, I heard that gays- I mean, don’t you all do things on the side anyway?” Needless to say he wasn’t in the mood today.

“Oops, silly me always forgetting! Good thing I have you right?” Kevin stayed silent, unwaveringly holding her gaze and taking a sip of his tea. She looked nervous for a moment and he smiled thinly. “..Right. Anyway um, Cooper wants to see you.” Oh.

Cooper was an ever-present thorn in Kevin’s side and had been ever since he’d come out at work. Every interaction he’d had with the man had been unpleasant even before he’d known he was gay. The very first time the two met Cooper had sneered after shaking Kevin’s hand hard enough to be purposeful and said he had a weak handshake. “Limp wrist.” He added, just to rub his not at all subtle comment in Kevin’s face.

If Cooper wanted to see him it was surely to harass him in some way.

“Do you know why?” Sandra, excited to be engaged again, broke out into a smile.

“Yeah, he wants to talk about Steinbeck’s retirement party or something.” Now the matter was even more confusing. Kevin hadn’t ever spoken to the elderly professor, what could he add to a party dedicated for him?

He realized after stepping into the room that Sandra lead him to. The room was full of female faculty, there wasn’t a single other man in sight other than Cooper, who was making a beeline over to them.

“Hey Sandra, glad you could make it! You’re always the life of a party so I know I had to invite you.” Sandra laughed as she was handed a list of some sort. “Can you do me a favor and make sure we’ve got everything there? And hey- make sure you don’t make this party TOO fun you hear me? Don’t wanna give the old man a heart attack!” They laughed together again as Sandra walked away, reading over whatever Cooper had given her. Newly alone, Kevin felt all of the man’s attention shift to him.

“So, Kev!”

“No one calls me Kev. Do not call me that.” Cooper raised his hands in a surrender motion and smiled, Kevin felt ill.

“Yeesh fine, God you’re always so serious. I thought gays were supposed to all-” he made his voice higher and snapped. “Fun!” Kevin hated how his hands always shook when he was angry, he balled them into fists at his side and looked away subtly, staring at the man’s nose. His eyes never matched his voice when he spoke to Kevin. “Lighten up. That’s your real problem-”

“Why am I here, Cooper? Why did you ask for me.” He could feel Cooper’s eyes narrowing, angry with Kevin’s refusal to play along. “Do you just like wasting my time?” There was a beat of silence before Cooper whirled around and raised the red plastic cup he was holding in the air.

“I invited you because I felt bad for you Kev.” He cooed with faux-concern. “You’re always alone you know?” Kevin remembered the first week after coming out, his acquaintances dwindling down to nothing as they suddenly ate at different times or had a cold they didn’t want him to catch or were too busy to eat right then. Some of the nastier ones just snorted derisively and said they hoped he rotted.

“So I thought I’d invite you to this little shindig, it’ll be fun! Party planning, drinking, hanging out with the gals.” The women all cheered and underneath it all Cooper leaned back and whispered harshly into Kevin’s ear. “You’re practically one of ‘em anyway you f-”

Kevin left the room without looking back, nearly tripping over himself to make it down the stairs and to the parking lot.

As he walked he heard footsteps coming up behind him, he tried to walk faster but the person only broke out into a run. “Kevin, wait!” He didn’t but Sandra caught up to him anyway. She placed a hand on his wrist and he tore it away. “God! You’re such a fucking Diva Kevin!” He continued walking. “I’m trying to be your friend and so is Cooper but you overreact to every little thing! I mean- Cooper can be a bit of a jerk sometimes but he’s trying and he means well-” Kevin spun around and faced her so suddenly that she stumbled backwards, looking shocked.

“I am so sick and tired of people who mean well.” He hissed, planting his feet. Anger bubbled up in him and his head felt thick with it, heavy with steam. “I am tired of Cooper, I am tired of you, I am tired of the world thinking that I am just their plaything, a blank canvas that you can stick your stereotypes and insults and prejudices onto and I will just say nothing and take it.” Sandra took another step back, opened her mouth as if in absolute disbelief. Then she morphed into anger, spinning around and stomping back towards the college.

“I was trying to be nice to you.” she spat. “But whatever. Hope you like being alone.” Kevin waited until she was gone to rush to his car and wait in the front seat for his body to be still enough to drive.

During dinner he didn’t taste the soup that Raymond had made and could barely bring himself to participate in the conversation. He had no appetite, he kept replaying the earlier confrontations over and over in his mind. He knew Raymond had noticed his behaviour but assumed he just thought he was tired since nothing had been said. He tuned back into the conversation at an awful time.

“-and then they just laughed at the poor woman and said she shouldn’t have provoked the beating. She was holding hands with her partner for the lo-” Kevin practically dropped his spoon into the half-empty bowl, feeling his emotions begin to overtake him once again.

“I can’t.” Raymond paused, leaning his head forward a bit.

“Kevin?” A pit formed in his stomach. He was being irrational, he was more than making a scene. He felt out of control.

“I can’t…do this.I can’t hear about- it’s all.” He hated this, he hated when he got like this. “Please excuse me.”

Quickly rushing from the table, Kevin made his way to their bedroom and fell listlessly onto the bed. He heard Raymond calling after him, unsure of whether or not to follow. Kevin stared vacantly, enjoying the cool darkness.

After a moment he called out again. “Kevin?” He couldn’t answer, he wanted to but he felt like someone was clenching a fist around his lungs. He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t move, he could only breath and wait.

He didn’t know how much time went by before he heard the door open and Raymond appeared in his field of view. “Is something troubling you? Normally you would not wear your outside clothes in our bed as it reduces the risk of dirt and bacteria contaminating the place in which we sleep.”

Kevin nodded after great difficulty, face unmoving. Raymond was concerned. Kevin was usually much more expressive than this and his entry into their apartment without a greeting was highly unusual. “Do you wish to talk about it?” Kevin closed his eyes and nodded again, Raymond placed a hand on his shoulder. “Is it alright if I touch you?” nod. “Can you not speak?” nod. “Is that a yes, meaning that it is true you cannot speak?” nod. “Is it a medical problem?” shake. “Do you want to be left alone?” shake. “Alright, I am going to sit down next to you.”

For half an hour Raymond sat down beside his boyfriend and thought idly about his day, what needed to get done before he fell asleep, what paperwork needed to be handed in, that new restaurant that opened up down the street that served that dish that Debra liked. Kevin moved and Raymond’s train of thought was derailed, looking over to check on him.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Deal with…the harassment, the cruelty, everyday.” Raymond felt cold, he set his jaw.

“Are you being harassed?” Kevin recalled just last week Raymond telling him about his colleagues smashing his computer and continually ‘forgetting’ to have it fixed. Remembered them shoving newspaper articles about hate crimes in the area into his locker. Compared to that what he was dealing with was nothing. This only worsened his anxiety, he was getting worked up over nothing.

“No.” He intoned, sitting up. “I am fine.”

“Kevin.”

“I said I am fine, can we drop it?” Raymond hesitated a moment before taking his husband’s hand.

“No. If you are being harassed I want to hear about it. I tell you about such incidents why should it not be the other way around?”

“I am…overreacting.” Kevin said, heart heavy. “I overreact to small things sometimes.” He pulled his hand out of Raymond’s gentle grip to press it together with his other hand. The pressure did little to calm him.

“They will tell you that.” Kevin twitched. “They will tell you that you are overreacting, being emotional, sensitive, exaggerating. It is all untrue, it is all a tactic to keep you quiet.” He leaned out of Kevin’s space but kept his eyes on the man he loved. “You will never have to be quiet with me. Do you want me to leave?”

Kevin thought about this. He thought about Raymond, and how lovely he was, the most wonderful and perfect man he’d ever met. He thought about how safe he felt, the instant relief that had come with being home, with being with him.

“No, please stay.” He leaned closer until they were just barely touching. It felt right. “I have something to tell you.”

#//homophobia #tw homophobia #ask to tag #I tried to write angst and sadness and it's so hard!!#Q&A #But thank you for the ask!!! Of course!!! It stretched my writing muscles (as you can see by the le ngth oops)#kevin cozner #it's mainly focused on him #raymond holt/kevin cozner #my writing #b99 #b99 fanfic

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