#i just think maybe they should like. heal together
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planetpedri · 18 hours ago
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1 step forward, 3 steps back — Jude Bellingham.
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Pairing: Jude Bellingham x Fem!Reader
Summary: You and Jude had been going up and down with your relationship for the better half of a year. Always taking one step towards fixing things then three steps towards ending it. Thinking it would help, you two take a trip together, but it may have just kick started the actual end of your relationship.
Word count: 485+
Disclaimer/s: Angst , arguing , ect ect..
A/N: Hey Jaybear.. blame Nilah she gave me the idea!
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“We should take a break, maybe?”
The weight of a failing relationship was no easy cross to bear. You knew, and Jude knew, nothing could fix how broken your relationship seemed to be. Plus, you couldn’t keep waiting around for him to love you the way he loved football—despite how he always said he could love you equally, he valued the sport more than he ever had you.
Even know, when you sat across from each other on the balcony of the condo you’d rented—which was supposed to be a vacation that healed your frail relationship, you felt nothing but guilt.
Guilt for failing to maintain what was once a beautiful relationship. Guilt for letting down the man you loved—love. Because you did love him, just not enough.
For the past six months of your relationship, the two of you had been taking one step toward healthy and then three steps back. Arguing constantly, not communicating.. it was all just too much.
Jude’s lips were pursed and his face tight, he was trying to understand what exactly you meant by that. A ‘break’ could mean many things. A prolonged time apart or a way to slow down the break up that was inevitable.
“Is that your only solution?” His words were condescending—mocking even.
Your eye twitches, “don’t give me that tone. It was just a—just a fucking suggestion. I mean, you can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it?” Of course it couldn’t have just been you. Jude felt the tug-of-war with your relationship, too.
Jude licks his lips, looking out at the shoreline. “Yeah, I guess I have. So what? We break up on a vacation?”
Your face contorts. “I didn’t say anything about breaking up! I just—I said ‘take a break’. It’s different.” You tilt your head to the side, urging him to look at you. “Unless that’s what you want.”
“It’s not.” He snaps, “but you seem to want it.”
“Well, I don’t. I just think that we could take the time to be apart. Doesn’t that seem like a better idea than us arguing constantly and living together?”
Straightening in his seat, Jude’s eyes find yours. His expression was unreadable for the first time in the three years you’d been dating. “You’re right.” He nods, “I agree. I’ll move out.”
You shake your head, “no, Jude. I will. I’ll go stay with my sister in England. I don’t mind.”
The new found silence was deafening. Nothing but the distance waves crashing on the shoreline stood between you and Jude’s unwilling silence.
“I’ll book a ticket home tonight. You can stay for the rest of the weekend.” Jude finally speaks.
And that was that. When you returned back inside, Jude opened his laptop and bought the ticket home. By the morning, he was gone. No final ‘Goodbye’, nothing. It was just you, the condo, and your own broken heart.
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likes , comments , and reblog’s are all appreciated. lmk if you’d like to be tagged in future jude posts.
DTS , @halfwayhearted @sakashq @hrts4havertz @joaoflms @spidybaby !
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applebuttercringe · 11 hours ago
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Arcane Episode 6 Immediate Thoughts
Spoilers
-Give me the doomed Jayvik content, I'm ready. Jayce is an off the wall murderer hell bent on destroying Arcane and Viktor is the new Herald of the Arcane.
-Viktor is a full on magical girl transformation dimension. The floating and glowing, start patterns, glowing hair.
-Huh
-So Viktor is straight up God?
-This Caitlyn training scene is dope
-OOOH they're gonna go to Viktor to cure Vander. Thats a cool way to tie all these stories together. I wonder if any of them will recognize Viktor. Did Caitlyn or Jayce tell Vi about him?
-Look at Jinx's face, she does not give a fuck about Vi and Hucks stand off.
-Man the council didn't know shit, Viktor should have been in charge this whole time.
-Man Jayce is gonna show up and destroy it. 🥺
-HAHAHAHAHA VIKTOR IS SO JESUS, the long hair, the robe, the staff.
-Viktor has his original eye color in the Hexcore universe.
-cookie
-Even Jinx knows Viktor is a straight up snack.
-Fortune cookies are canon? What Americanized Chinese food restaraunt is Jinx going to? Is there a Panda Express in Zaun?
-Viktors Steel Oasis is realized
-Oh hey it's the kind of plant that he experimented on the hexcore with
-So is this real Sky and we were all wrong in thinking the Hexcore was just using her image?
-Does this take several days? How long is it taking Jayce to come to the undercity? He seemed in a hurry when we last saw him.
-I don't care if these animatic style visuals are the result of a mismanaged budget. Arcane's 2d music video style visuals are so good when you aren't being told they are just for cost saving.
-"We"
-This is nice, this is what I wanted for Thor and Loki
-Singed has a Vander tracking compass. Like the Vampire compass in Vampire Diaries.
-Does Caitlyn know the Herald is Viktor? How will she react?
-Ooh the Singed-Viktor reunion!
-Why is Viktors voice more metallic than before?
-"Evolution has a destination" I mean technically no, you're a scientist Viktor c'mon. Thats a common misconception.
-GLORIOUS EVOLUTION MENTIONED
-And he had the voice distortion when he said it, this is the desire of the Hexcore not of him?
-Is Viktor dating a ghost?
-OH DAMN, the Caitvi reunion is a violent one. Not looking good for the Caitvi stans, or the future of this ship. They're doing a Catradora.
-Caitlyn is a dictator who is offended by being called a mongoose, and by her ex-gfs new style. Be glad she didn't get bangs Caitlyn.
-"Cupcake"
-Ambessa eating an entire raw meat hunk with her hands.
-Oh damn, the betrayal.
-HOLY SHIT JAYCE, ITS HAPPENING, IM NOT READY!
-The music, is this the start of the inevitable end of a three episode arc music montage fight scene that cuts between the plot points while a pop-rock song plays?
-SPIT ON HER
-Oh no, this is the sweet conversation that happens to make everything happy so they can rip it away by killing one of the characters isn't it? Is Isha gonna die soon?
-OH, the Caitvi reveal! Caitlyn did a good! Nice. All it took was to be in her ex-gfs presence one more time and she completely flipped. Poor Maddie.
-The blind fold is kinda kinky tbh
-is Caitlyn gonna see Jayce? Will they talk? Has Caitlyn seen Viktor?
-Now Jayce has a leg brace, my how the turn tables. I little ableist maybe that a leg brace is used to show who is powerless in the dynamic but still.
-I wish we knew more about what Jayce went through, or how long the time skip is, to have context. C'mon writers what was it?
-Once again Jayce is about to nuke a child with the Hex Hammer
-Is Jayce gonna come be healed?!
-The come to Jesus music when he goes to meet Viktor.
-Viktor is the Avatar, or a Jedi
-Caitlyn will be saved by Jinx! Will this cause another snap change in her alignment. Who knows!
-Its honestly shocking this is the first time someone has tried just grabbing her uber long hair in a fight.
-JAYCE NUKED VIKTOR!
-IS HE DEAD! MY BLORBO! JAYCE YOU BITCH!
-UNREAL
-Vander is crying lava?
-No Viktor Jayce is the reason your commune failed.
-Jinx crying on the floor after being struck by a loved one like when she was a child.
-Aw this is cute
-Isha better not die, don't you dare show. Don't you DARE.
-They did!
-They killed Viktor and Isha in one episode, Now Caitlyn is just chill with both Vi and Jinx, why. Awful. How dare they. First genuinely bad episode.
Final thoughts: AAAAAAAAAH! I'm actually mad. They killed Isha, they killed Viktor. Both in dumb and unnessecary ways. Jayce's motivations have not been explored in any depth or meaningful way this season which would justify the story move. I was fully ready to call this a flawed but good show till the second half of this episode. I think this arc release will genuinely divide the fandom. Beginning of the end. Oof. Sorry boys. Arcane is Fumbled.
Let me in the writers room, I just wanna talk.
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cryptid-crw · 2 days ago
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Can’t stop thinking about @allmightyscroll-swag’s de wing au (or at least the rambles about it) so have something small and shitty I sketched out while I should have been paying attention in a lecture
I think they should be allowed to preen each other <3
Also please don’t come for my wing anatomy I am simply an eepy guy out of practice
Story/explanation under the cut!
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I’m thinking post-de after a long or rough case Kim’s wings got kinda fucked up (maybe during a chase in the air that resulted in (further) injury to his wings (I say further because he already doesn’t fly much because of his very poor eyesight and I’m thinking his flight muscles have probably at least partially atrophied)), meaning he’s got to preen and recover. Harry, worried, visits his apartment to see if there’s anything he can do, and lets himself in to find Kim, curled up and in pain trying to compose himself to preen and work through the muscle tightness. Kim reluctantly agrees to let Harry help, uncomfortable with someone else touching his wings because of said injury and poor eyesight (also maybe bad experiences in the orphanage???? I think so. Lemme give the man some angst).
I imagine it’s like. A huge sign of trust to allow someone to preen you when you’re not family, something that couples barely even do until they’ve been together for months and are comfortable being so vulnerable (wings, after all, are the most delicate part of the soul. Wings and lungs. Dolores Dei’s wings would glow in time with her lungs, a perfect extension of her breath).
But it’s Harry. What could he do to hurt him? (A lot. A lot a lot. But Kim trusts the silly cockatoo. He trusts him with all he is. And he so earnestly wants to help. Just let him.) And so he agrees, shifting to allow Harry to see the damage, to touch his scared back and tight flight muscles, to pick apart the damaged feathers from the healthy, to pull oil from the preening glands and straighten out the feathers to the best of his ability — newly clumsy and unknowing hands working through a process passed down through every family that should be known as perfectly as tying a pair of shoelaces.
Learning together to care for each other, to teach Kim that it’s okay to ask for and accept help, and showing Harry how to use his hands to heal instead of harm (he feared he would fuck up and hurt his police partner more). Growing closer through subsequent preening sessions
Ofc they’ll be idiots about it so they’ll not be together yet but soon!!! Soon they will!! I don’t know how yet but I know it will happen. Surely
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criticallyinneedofadar · 3 days ago
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Hello! Hope this finds you well!!
I was looking to request a Celebrimbor x male reader if that's okay. I haven't seen an m!reader for him yet but I am in desperate need LOL
I was thinking perhaps a scene where Celebrimbor managed to actually get out of the city and was just badly injured, and the reader helps to care for him as he recovers. Maybe the reader was a healer or they were an established relationship before it all happened? I don't mind the details I just want to be able to care for him after everything 😭
Thank you so much in advance!!
Hello my dear! This was a bit difficult for me, as I identify as female, but I hope you enjoy it! I tried to refrain from any assumptions about males but let me know what you think!
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Celebrimbor lies before you, pale and battered, his breath a faint whisper in the quiet of your tent. Despite centuries of facing death and hardship together, the sight of him—your beloved, so proud and strong—reduced to such vulnerability stirs something fierce within you. You, too, are an elf, old as the hills of Beleriand, with powers of healing honed over centuries, yet even your hands tremble slightly as they press a cool cloth to his brow.
“Easy now,” you murmur, your deep voice steady but soft in the Sindarin tongue, each word a balm. He grimaces but doesn’t turn away, his dark eyes seeking yours with that familiar, defiant light that always stirred both admiration and exasperation in your chest.
“This is… nothing I cannot bear,” he says, his words a shadow of his usual confidence.
You raise an eyebrow, barely suppressing a wry smile. “Even now, Tyelpë, you must be difficult.” His old Quenya name slips from your lips, a sign of the intimacy and history between you.
He tries to smile, but it’s only a faint curve, quickly swallowed by a gasp of pain. He reaches for you, his hand shaking, and without hesitation, you clasp his fingers in yours, grounding him. Despite the battles you’ve both fought and survived, it’s moments like these—private, unguarded—that bind you closer than any oath.
“You should not have to do this,” he mutters, as though being cared for by another elf—by you—was somehow an indignity.
“Then perhaps it is well that I wish to do this,” you answer with a familiar wryness. Leaning closer, you meet his gaze, letting him see the resolve in your eyes. “And as your husband, it’s my right, is it not?”
The faintest flicker of amusement dances in his eyes as he leans back, allowing you to continue with your work. Your hands move with the skill of ages as you clean and bind his wounds, murmuring quiet words of reassurance in your low voice. His pain softens as you tend to him, his breaths slowly evening as he finds strength in your presence.
Once the worst of his wounds are cared for, you lift a cup to his lips, coaxing him to drink. “Come, my stubborn one,” you say, your voice gruff yet gentle. “Even the greatest of smiths must take their medicine.”
He sips, still weak, though a hint of color begins to return to his face. His gaze follows you as you work, his hand reaching to trace your jaw with the touch of someone who has cherished you across centuries. “You… look terrible,” he whispers, the glint of humor in his eyes dimmed but present.
“Only because you’re here to witness it,” you reply, leaning into his touch with a sigh, allowing yourself to let go of your own tension, if only for a moment.
He lifts your hand, pressing his cracked lips to your knuckles. The kiss is reverent, a wordless vow between two elven souls bound beyond flesh and bone. In that quiet moment, under the fading stars, you hold him close, his strength and yours weaving together as you both heal in the warmth of each other’s presence.
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object-yaoi · 6 months ago
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yaoi
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yanderenightmare · 4 months ago
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TW: implied nsfw, implied noncon/dubcon, poly yanderes, sprained ankle, captive reader, apocolypse au, talk of fertility, murder of unnamed characters, mentions of potentially killing reader
fem reader
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Just thinking about the apocalypse, the two army men who’ve long survived it in their shelter with barely any trouble, and then you, a poor girl trying hard to outrun your last captives only to run into them.  
You didn’t realize back then that it was like trading piranhas for sharks, too caught up in begging for their aid to think better of it. You should have just kept running, but your ankle was sprained badly, maybe even broken, and you were wearing so little you would most likely have died from the cold during the night if they hadn’t taken you in.
It seems unfair of them to have kept the giant bunker all to themselves, only the two of them, but you don’t judge. You would likely have kept it all to yourself as well.
This new world has bred new humans, and they’re all monsters. It’s honestly quite surprising they’d even let you in, given this is what they’re protecting, this sanctuary from the past, a comfort most people would kill their closest friend in exchange for.
Trust is all but dead, and so is honor or any other morality—you would know, you’ve lived out there for it all, only having survived by spreading your legs at the right moments. It’s a shameful tactic, and many times, you’ve wondered if it wouldn’t have been better to spare yourself and just die. What was the purpose?
This—you think. This must be it. They have showers and working hot water.
You don’t know how it’s possible—the original owners of the shelter must have been some type of millionaire. You haven’t had a warm shower since the world went to shit—years ago. It’s been a choice of waiting for rain or finding a lake, hoping it wasn’t rancid. Meanwhile, they have soap—scented soap, the lush kind you’d forgotten existed. It feels so nice you have to cry—rejoice—sobbing while lathering yourself, watching all the filth go down the drain, leaving you smooth-skinned once again for the first time in forever. You can’t remember having ever been so clean before, feeling reborn.
They have fresh clothes for you too—new socks and underwear, all clean fabrics, so much more than what you wore—pants, a shirt, and a sweater to keep warm. You didn’t know there still existed people who lived like the old days—you’d thought it was long gone, a bittersweet dream you sometimes have the pleasure of at night instead of the usual nightmares. Never had you thought you’d experience anything even remotely similar, but here you are—looking yourself in the mirror after so long, surprised to see a human looking back at you.
And they feed you. Not scraps, not leftovers, not rot, or days-old flesh from the last successful hunt—but freshly baked bread, vegetables, fruit—for fuck’s sake, they even have juice. You cry again while eating, and then you find yourself begging them again, “Please, let me stay—please, I’ll do anything. I can cook, clean, work—anything at all, I can do it, just please let me stay…”
You’re on your knees, forehead pressed to the heated metal floors—toasty and comforting, you think you could sleep better than ever right there.
“We’ll think about it,” one of them mutters as he gathers the plates. His voice was so harsh he might as well have said, not a chance. It’s clear by his frown that he’d rather send you right out again, leave you to the monsters.
“We’ll at least let you stay until your ankle heals, so don’t worry.” The other is more sympathetic, helping you up. “For now, let’s get you to bed. You must be exhausted.”
It hadn’t crossed your mind that they’d have beds—actual real soft downy mattresses and duvets and pillows. The two of you help make it together. It feels so foreign that you wonder if you might have died earlier. Some years back, you wouldn’t have thought heaven would resemble a prison cell, but now it only made sense—safe metal walls and a bed. What more could one possibly want in the world?
“I’ll wrap your leg for you if you sit.” He holds out a bandage roll, gesturing to your ankle.
Blinking, you can’t even register what he’d just offered until he’s getting down on his knees before you.
You panic, then. Bandages are hard to come by—it hardly seems worth it. “There’s no blood, you shouldn’t waste it—”
“It’ll heal better and faster this way,” he adds reassuringly. His voice is so soft and compelling that you find yourself sitting down without further quarrel, even when it makes you feel spoiled.
He’s gentle with you—holding you steady while wrapping it just tightly enough to be supportive. There hasn’t been a man who’s touched you like it.
“Does that feel okay?”
You can barely tell he’s talking to you. It’s all so lost on you that you can only wordlessly nod your head.
He fastens it just as carefully before standing. “Is there anything else you might need?”
You shake your head just as wordlessly. You can’t believe how nice he’s being. It makes no sense at all. Not in this world. Not anymore.
“I’m sorry, but I’m gonna have to lock the door,” he apologizes with a sheepish look once standing on the threshold.
You’d been stuck thinking about how warm the room was, trying to remember a single time you hadn’t been freezing during the night. “That’s okay, I understand,” you say. After all, what’s a locked door in comparison?
“Good,” he smiles—it’s likely the kindest smile you’ve ever seen. “Alright then, good night.”
Once again, you’re left stunned. The last time you’d heard those words spoken must have been from a loved one long since dead. It makes your lip wobble again as you say it back, “Good night.”
It's strange—they could have left you for dead but didn’t. They don’t seem gullible—they can’t be if they’ve managed to protect this place for so long—but you suppose there still exist men who have a soft spot in their hearts for helpless damsels in distress.
As you sink into the comfort, draping your duvet atop your battered body, you don’t even care about the camera in the ceiling—blinking red while watching you.
“Did you have to bandage her up?” he grumbles as the other walks into the bedroom after having said his goodnights to you. 
He’s already in bed, observing through the cameras on a tablet—you were currently curling into the duvet, wrapping it around you close for comfort. You’d likely not slept on anything so soft in a while—it wouldn’t surprise him if you preferred the floor. But no, you drift asleep quite quickly.
“You know how badly things can heal without proper support,” the other answers, regarding it as no big deal. “And besides, it’s not like we often need it—we have plenty to spare.”
He removes his clothes and crawls onto the bed as well, lifting the covers to slot himself right next to the other man, who still has a scowl on his face.
“Oh, come on…” he drawls. “She’s exactly what we’ve been talking about, isn’t she?”
The grump doesn’t answer, still with keen eyes watching you, even as you’ve fallen asleep—as if waiting for you to do something befitting a wild animal in a cage. The other’s eyes fall to the screen as well, but he only awes in delight.
“Look at her, already fast asleep,” he purrs while zooming in on your face. “I mean, did you see how she was begging earlier, what she said? I’d do anything,” he continues, almost whining. “So cute, I could have fucked her right then and there.”
The other man sets the tablet aside with a disagreeing sigh. “We’ll wait at least a week for her system to detoxify from the wasteland,” he says strictly. “I’m not touching her before then, and neither are you unless you want to sleep alone.”
The other groans then, flopping down on his back. “Yeah, yeah, you and your safety protocols,” he dismisses before a smirk creeps up his face, glee twinkling in his eyes as he looks up at his grouchy counterpart. “But then we keep her, right?”
“Tch—we don’t even know if she’s fertile. The wasteland could have made her barren as long as she’s been out there,” the other shuffles down into the sheets as well, turning to look at his partner and the awfully keen look on his face.
“So we test her. Give her a medical check,” he says, again as if it’s not a problem, even when it very well could turn out to be.
They’ve already broken quarantine rules by letting you in here—and who knows what your real objectives truly are.
“I don’t trust her,” he states.
The other pouts. “I don’t see what one little lady can do—she’s hardly a threat. And we already purged the group that was following her. I doubt any of them made it out alive.”
True, he had gone out and sent several gas grenades into the settlement. Surely, none of them managed to escape, but then again—
“Pest control only works when you kill them all, and we’ve just let one inside our own house,” he grumbles.
The other one sighs. “Okay, so if it turns out she isn’t as cute as she looks, we’ll deal with her like the rest. But if I’m right, and she really is just a harmless little thing, we keep her, and I get to have the first go.”
Suppose there isn’t anything better to do aside from killing you straight away, which would only have been a waste of food, water, clothes, and bandages. 
“Fine.”
The other grins at the agreeance, humming, “I guess until then, we’ll just have to make do with each other—I've been hard since we watched her shower.” He leans forward for contact but is shut down as his bedmate rolls around with his back turned to him.
“Tch—take care of it yourself.” Tonight has been too stressful to tug each other’s dicks. 
He can hear him whine behind him, but he settles down soon enough.
Suppose it would be nice fucking a woman again. It’s been so many years he figured he wouldn’t need it anymore. They’ve made do with each other so far. But even he can’t deny, once you’d washed all the blood and muck off, once he saw the dewy hue of your soft skin and the silk of your hair, all those plush curves, and not to mention that awfully sweet look on your face—he felt the tug in his pants too.
He'll do a medical check on you tomorrow. He hopes you’re fertile. But even if you’re not, he might give in to the other’s wishes and keep you anyway. After all, they might have many luxuries, but the comfort of pussy is one they haven’t had in a long, long, long time.
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♡ BNHA – KiriBaku, BakuDeku, ShinKami, DabiHawks, EndHawks, ErasurMic ♡ JJK – SatoSugu, ItaFushi, SukuIta, ♡ HQ – Miya twins, KageHina, BokuAka, ♡ CSM – AkiDen, YoshiDen ♡ BLLK – NagiReo
♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist
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grimandghoulish · 1 year ago
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0097linersb · 4 months ago
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𝐑𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 (m)
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Pairings: Wooyoung x Reader
Genre: Smut
Word count: 15k ~
Warnings: It´s a smut so +18 MDNI pls
Follow me on twitter: wooyosgfreal <3
Part 2
────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────
As someone who has been single for the past 2 years, you often found yourself missing certain things and feelings. It´s not even the dating in itself that you craved, you were in fact, very content with being alone, and after all your inner healing and growth, you didn´t even think you were ready for a relationship at this point in your life. But as you and Wooyoung were on your couch lazily spending the afternoon, you found your body and mind screaming for comfort at the sight of the rainy day outside. 
Your friend had his head on your lap as he played some online shooting game on his phone, the movie you intended on watching now only serving as background noise as you drifted off, hands absent-mindedly playing with the strands of his hair that fell on top of your thighs.  
Hand-holding. 
That´s something you really missed. The feeling of interlacing fingers with someone as warmness spread through your body. When you were dating, you weren´t even that into holding hands, uncomfortable with not being able to move freely or with the way your palm seemed to always feel clammy – But now? You would kill for a chance to walk around a park linked with someone.  
You also really missed being so familiar with someone that you just felt at ease, having a person there to do nothing or everything with, being able to talk or gossip about anything. You remember spamming Mingyu´s chat with every little thing that happened during your day and him just being genuinely happy to hear about it, replying to every single message in order. As your best friend, Wooyoung was someone you talked to a lot, but you still couldn´t text him about how you already drank 6 glasses of water or how you were annoyed because your stapler kept getting stuck – Those are the annoying little things you only get to share with a significant other that has the obligation to put up with you. 
And showering together. You almost felt dramatic tears fill your eyes at the thought of it; sharing the hot stream of water with someone, have them rub soap down your back or massage shampoo onto your scalp, or just simply holding someone in the dark under the running water as steam filled the room.  
Oh, and free massages. You definitely missed those, being able to ask for a massage at whatever given moment with the certainness that you would receive one. Mingyu´s love language had always been acts of service, meaning you wouldn´t spend a single day without his hands squeezing your shoulders or rubbing down your back.  
Maybe you should call Mingyu. Something along the lines of “hey, I know we broke up a few years ago but can you come like, hold me for a minute? Cuddle until we fall asleep?” 
You were so touch deprived you could cry. 
There was also the intimate part of a relationship; You had tried casual sex, one-night stands, friends with benefits, even a Tinder hook up once – It just wasn´t for you. It´s not even the sex on itself that you longed for, you could spend another few years without it if it came down to it. But you did miss what came with being intimate with someone who truly cared about you. When it comes to casual flings, people are normally selfish (yourself included), doing the bare minimum to get the other person off but truly aiming for their own pleasure; it was nice being with someone who´s main priority was making you feel good without the need of having the “favor returned”.  
What you really did miss though, was a bit cruder: You missed the feeling of someone´s dick in your mouth, the groans and whines that came with it, hands tangled in your hair, your tongue tracing hot veins as someone praised you. You missed having someone´s fingers inside of you, your walls tight around them as they pumped in and out of you with ease. You also really fucking missed someone eating you out. 
You subconsciously pulled a bit on Wooyoung´s hair out of frustration but he didn´t seem to notice, eyes fixated on his game. You gently pat his head where you had tugged on the strands and went back to playing with his hair, letting your mind take you away once again.  
Again, it´s not like your relationship with Mingyu ended badly, surely, he wouldn´t mind if you called him up to go down memory lane for a night- 
You had never noticed how plump Wooyoung´s lips were.  
He had a habit of pouting when he was focused, or biting on his lips when he was extra concentrated – which he was doing just now as he tried to shoot at someone who was trying to kill him. When he finally managed to take out the other player and escape, he let his bottom lip go, now all red and glistening as he cursed out loud. They just looked so soft and plushy, and the mole he had on his bottom lip –  
You suddenly realized you were kind of obsessed with Wooyoung´s nose shape. You know what people say about big noses… Also, how good would it feel bumping against - 
“You´re being way too nice. What´s going on?” Wooyoung´s voice suddenly interrupted your thoughts, causing you to jump in shock and realization that you were just thinking about your friend eating you out.  
“I am nice, just not to you,” You correct, meeting his eyes which were looking up as you noticed you were still running your fingers through his hair. 
“I have very strong opinions about that, but either way, it´s what I meant. Why are you being nice to me?” 
“Am I?” 
“I remember very clearly the last time I asked you to cuddle me, almost got down on my knees begging and you just looked at me like I had rolled around in the trash.”  
“You were quiet today, behaving like a normal person-” 
“Go on, call me a good boy. I know you want to,” He rolls his eyes. 
You laugh out loud at that; he did know you well. 
“Nah, you´ve ruined it the moment you opened your mouth.” 
“Guess I´m a bit further from perfect than I thought, getting there though. How was the movie anyways?” 
“Oh, did it end already?” You asked, finally looking at the TV and realizing the credits must have been rolling for a while. “Wasn´t paying attention.” 
“What were you even doing?” He furrowed his eyebrows at you, a second away from calling you stupid. 
“Thinking.” 
“About?” 
“Calling Mingyu,” You half-lied. 
At that, he managed to furrow his eyebrows even more, the biggest judgmental face he had ever sported looking up at you, “Why? Are you suddenly into him again?” 
“No.” 
“Then why?” 
“I don´t know, just-” 
“Oh my god,” His eyes widened, and he covered his mouth in shock. “It´s a booty call.” 
“It´s that what people call it these days?”  You ask, trying to sound nonchalant about the whole ordeal. 
“Oh my god, so it is.” 
“I guess?” 
“Y/N, it´s been like 2 years. I know you´re hot and he´s a man but I think that conversation would be kind of weird. Were you planning on texting him a wanna come smash?” He questioned you as he sat up. “Do you even have his number?” 
“No, I - I don´t know. I-  Let´s change the subject.” 
“Let´s absolutely not.” 
“You´re being annoying.” 
“Aren´t I always?” 
“Yes, defin-” 
“If you´re horny, why don´t you text that last guy you were going out with? He was hot too.” 
“Ew, don´t use the word horny.” 
“Would you prefer I call you needy?” 
Maybe you would, yeah, very much. 
“No, ew. Just stop talking all-together.” 
“So, why don´t you text him?” 
“You know I can´t really enjoy it much when I´m not like, close to the person.” 
“So you thought of your ex,” he deadpanned. 
“Yeah.” 
“Has literally not even one of the guys you hooked up with gotten you off?” 
“I mean, some of them did. But I don´t want to just get off, I-I- I don´t even know what I want, can we please chan-” 
“You want to be treated like the little pillow princess you are, got it.” 
Did he have to say it like that? Suddenly you felt the pulse between your legs raising its intensity. Oh god no, you were absolutely not getting turned on by Wooyoung´s crude choice of words. 
Anyone but Wooyoung! 
“Who says I´m a pillow princess? Am not!” 
“Ah, please. You scream I´ll bring nothing to the table besides looking pretty.” 
“Is that how I come off as?” You gasped at that, feeling deeply offended. “You´re full of shit.” 
“Why are you even getting mad? There´s nothing wrong with that, I´m sure you´re really good at looking pretty under a guy.” 
“Please stop picturing someone else fucking me?” 
“Who says I´m picturing someone else?” He winked at you teasingly. 
You literally, in your over 20 years of life on this earth, have never - not even once - thought you would actually choke over someone´s words. This was Wooyoung, you were used to his ways, c´mon! 
“Yeah, let´s not do that.” 
“Awn, pretty princess got flustered,” He cooed at you. 
You knew he was just teasing you; you knew there was no real sexual intent behind his words because that was Wooyoung, he flirted and teased as naturally as he breathed - but they still got your thighs tensing and you hating yourself for it. Couldn´t you just take a joke for what it was? 
“Although now that I´m thinking about it, I wouldn´t be surprised if you turned out to be a brat in bed. You´re already the biggest one normally.” 
“Look who´s calling me a brat,” You rolled your eyes once again. It didn´t matter if he was right or wrong, Wooyoung had no right calling anyone that when he was the way he was.  
At that, he presented you with the most attractive smile you think would ever exist in the world, a mixture between cunning, excitement and condescending, “You think I´m bratty?” 
“Oh, I´m sure of it.” 
“Maybe I´m just good at matching energies, you know?” He winked, teasing you further. 
“Fuck off. I know San forced you on your knees more often than I´d like to imagine.” 
“Because I allowed him to.” 
You snorted, “Yeah. Sure thing, honey. Now let´s move along, please.” 
Except that, your mind decided to in fact, consider his words. Wooyoung liked teasing and annoying people for his own entertainment, he whined at you every time he didn´t get things his way and he was always playfully flirting with everyone - and you meant literally everyone. Because of that, you had always just kind of assumed (but never spared it many thoughts, thank God) that your best friend was just someone who like to be dominated when in relationships, or sexual encounters for the matter.  
But honestly, you could kind of see it differently after his comments. It was true he always had everyone wrapped around his fingers and somehow, he always managed to get things his way - Wasn´t that also some form of control? The lines were kind of blurred when it came to Jung Wooyoung, but that was kind of even more attractive to you.   
“Oh my god, you´re thinking about it,” Wooyoung teased.  
“You´re the one who started it!” 
“You don´t have to stress your pretty little head over it,” He smiled, his finger finding it´s place under your chin to tip your face in his direction playfully. “I can show you.” 
Oh, absolutely not. 
Your eyes fluttered shut for a millisecond at his words, your guard crumbling surprisingly fast as you practically whimpered, “I know you´re joking but can we please not?” 
“Why?” 
 Couldn´t he stop giving you that annoying freaking smile? 
“Because I am kind of horny and I really don´t want to go there,” You practically growled.  
Now he was the one who broke character, not expecting you to be actually affected by his jokes, before the teasing smile was back on his face in a heartbeat - but you saw it. 
“Did I make you horny?” He teased. 
“Of course not, I was already horny before. I´m just in a weird mood.” 
It wasn´t necessarily a lie. If you weren´t already feeling some type of way since earlier, you would have never - and you really mean that - caught yourself thinking about Wooyoung´s stupid plump lips or if he could actually fuck you.  
“So, you were thinking about getting dicked down while I was here innocently lying down on your lap? You´re dirty,” He snickered. 
“It wasn´t weird until you made it weird,” You groaned in frustration. This is really not how you imagined your afternoon would go down.  
“Want me to help you out?” 
“Got any hot friends who are also not my friends?” 
“I do,” He nodded with his head. “But I´m also right here.” 
Your eyes almost flew out of your head. You always judged yourself as the only person immune to Wooyoung's weirdness, deeming that nothing the man did or say would ever surprise you since you basically were the same - but you now guessed the tests became harder as the years passed.  
“I can´t really tell if you´re joking-“ 
“I am absolutely not.” 
“Yeah, not going to happen.” 
“Why?” 
“Because!” 
“I know you can use your big girl words.” 
“Because as much as it pains me to admit it, we´re best friends. I guess?” 
“Now you´re the one who´s making it weird. You´re hot, I´m hot. You´re horny, now I´m horny. What´s wrong with helping each other out?” 
“What´s wrong is that I never really saw you like that!” You whined. 
“But you´re seeing now.” 
“Yeah, and I don´t like it!” 
“Tell me,” He raised an eyebrow at you, a devilish glint on his eyes matching his smile once again.  
“What?” 
“What you imagined me doing to you.” 
“Oh my god. Nothing!” 
“Oh c´mon, I won´t think you´re in love with me or anything. I know we´re friends and I´m a man, if there is one thing I can understand is simple plain old horniness.”  
“How is this so easy for you?” 
“Oh, I already imagined fucking you many times. In many different ways, too,” Wooyoung stated so casually, like he was talking about his shopping list for when he went to the supermarket later. “You know that one time at Seonghwa´s pool when you were wearing that little orange bikini? I must have made up at least 4 different scenarios, just that day.” 
“I feel kind of violated?”  
You also felt the way something throbbed in between your legs at his words but he didn´t need to know that. 
“As I said: I´m a man, Y/N. I love you and would never do anything to make you uncomfortable or fuck up our friendship, but there´s nothing wrong with fantasizing. It´s not like I actively decide to do it either, it just happens, I don´t know.” 
“Do you just casually think about fucking all your friends?” 
“No, only the hot ones. And it´s not something I keep thinking about all the time, I´m not a creep. Just once every blue moon hormone takes over or something. Also, you´re a fool if you think any of your other friends who are into women have never, not even once, thought about fucking you.”  
“Yeah, I´d rather be a fool,” You rolled your eyes. “Also, San hasn´t!” 
“San would quit his dream job in a heartbeat if I called him over for a threesome right now.” 
“Yunho then! He would never -” 
Wooyoung laughed at that, “Honey, I have something to tell you-“ 
“Please don´t.” 
“Anyways, you´re not lacking options to help you out. All I´m saying is that I´m here and I´d be more than glad to be the one,” He had the audacity of winking at you. “Since you were already thinking about it.” 
“I´m begging you to please drop it.” 
“Only if you tell me what you were thinking about.” 
“Oh my god! You know what? Let´s play your stupid fucking game, Jung Wooyoung. I´ll tell you if you tell me first.” 
“So, you do know how to have fun,” Wooyoung gave you a big smile, his eyes disappearing in happiness as if you had just told him you got him a new car. “What do you want to know?” 
“About the day at Seonghwa´s pool.” 
“Fun. I will use your own words then: I was in a weird mood that day and then you just took your clothes off and looked so good in that bikini. You were sunbathing and at some point in the afternoon you went inside Hwa´s house to get something from the kitchen and my brain just kept flashing images in my head: what if I followed you into the empty house, pushed you against the nearest wall and fucked you, watching as you tried to keep quiet so the others wouldn´t hear from right outside? Your cheek red from rubbing against the wall, your -” 
“That´s scenario number one.” 
“You want all of them? Kinky.” 
“I can just go-“ 
“Calm down, princess. See? I knew you were a brat.” 
“Wooyo-“ 
“Later when I was sitting down on the sunbathing chair with you while you were helping me out with the sunscreen, I noticed how my hand was so close I could pull the bottom of your bikini to the side and just slip my fingers in, right there in the open, no one would even notice. I wondered if you were already going to be wet and how you would sound trying to keep your noises inside with my knuckles deep into you. I couldn´t imagine a better sight than you all pretty clenching around my fingers or how you would look trying to casually spread your legs for me without anyone suspecting. I even went as far as imagining us getting caught, can you picture Mingi noticing what a little slut you are and trying to watch without getting caught himself? Poor boy wouldn´t know what to do with himself, would just loose his mind at how hot you´d look. I wondered if you´d like that he was watching –“ 
“That´s scenario number two,” You interrupted before the skin where you dug your nails into could start bleeding from your efforts to ground yourself and not squirm like an animal in heat at Wooyoung´s words. 
He was good, you had to give him that.  
Wooyoung laughed at you and you wondered if he had any clue about what he was doing to you. Then you mentally slapped yourself because of course he did, he had eyes.  
“When everyone went inside to make some drinks and start on dinner, you sat there on the edge of the pool and started kicking water at me. Remember that? I happened to notice the edge was just the perfect height for me to eat you out from the pool, and you even had your back to the door. We were all alone out there and even if someone came out, I would be hidden from their view in between your legs. I could picture my hands holding your thighs open and your back arching-” 
“Yeah, ok. That´s enough. I´m going to go, humm, shower or something and you can just like leave-” 
“Can I join?” He joked as you stood up. 
“No.” 
“Can I at least stay outside listening?” 
“What? I´m not going to mastu- Wooyoung, I´m just taking a cold shower.” 
“OK, go cool yourself off, princess. I´ll wait for you here,” He informed, unlocking his phone once again and showing you his screen where his game was loading. 
“Yeah, ok. Suit yourself.” 
“You really should let me listen as payback for getting me horny,” He screamed once you were already down the hallway. 
“You got yourself horny,” You screamed back before shutting the bathroom door behind yourself. 
You silently screamed against your hands as you let your body slide down the door. 
What the hell just happened? How many lines did you just cross?  
Why was Wooyoung suddenly so hot? 
And so, a cold shower you took and thankfully, after you left the bathroom, no one talked about the subject for the rest of the night and just pretended that nothing had happened. 
Except that now you were miserable and your mind echoed Wooyoung´s words every time you looked or thought about him. It was not optimal to be crossing your legs in the middle of class at university because you accidentally caught yourself staring at your friend´s veiny arms for half of the lecture. 
★  
“You´re still horny,” Wooyoung stated a few days later when you were literally getting ice cream after class. 
“And I´m actually mortified that you noticed.” 
“You´re being stubborn.” 
“We´re not fucking, Wooyoung.” 
“Dude, at this point I am genuinely feeling bad for you. We can ask Mingi or whoever, just please get some dick.” 
“You´re being kind of sexist-” 
“Y/N, you look constipated. I am worried for your sanity.” 
“Just shut up before I stop talking to you.” 
“I can use a blindfold or something if you´re worried about me seeing you naked-” 
“You´d like that, wouldn´t you? Submissive bitch.” 
“Don´t degrade me unless you mean it,” He winked at you. 
“You are actually insufferable.” 
“I´m just trying to help.” 
“You can´t because you don´t understand that this isn´t just about getting some dick!” 
“So what is this about? You tense every time my hands get near you -” 
“Wooyoung, this is an ice cream parlor. There are kids around, just shut the fuck up.” 
“So let´s go to my place.” 
“I´m not getting inside any closed spaces with you unless there are more people around.” 
“Kinky.” 
“Oh my god, you know what I mean.” 
“I know, just let me tease you. Ok, but seriously now, I think that in order for me to do my duties as a best friend, I need to understand what´s going on.” 
“Since when do you care about your best friend duties? You once left me behind alone at a party to get fucked by Yeonjun or whatever you two-” 
“Allegedly.” 
“No, Wooyoung. Not allegedly, it was literally me that you dragged to a corner to inform you´d be going upstairs with Yeonjun-” 
“No one knows what happened in that room.” 
“Yeah, thank god.” 
“Ok, whatever. Let me help you, tell me what´s going on inside that little messed up brain of yours.” 
“Nop. I really would rather lock myself inside the industrial freezer in the back.” 
“Yeah? Then I´m texting Mingi to go to your place and give you the fuck of your life tonight-” 
“Wooyoung!” 
“Y/N!” 
“Just drop it.” 
“No! Do you actually miss Mingyu? Or dating? Do you want a boyfriend? Is that it?” 
“No,” You groaned, hitting your forehead against the table.  
“So?” 
“Just- I need alcohol if we´re going to talk about this.” 
“Ok, let´s go to-” 
“Wooyoung, it´s 2 in the afternoon.” 
And so, he let it go for the moment, but the next time he saw a single drop of alcohol near you, he sat down next to you and crossed his hands like he meant business, a pointed look on his face. 
★ 
“So?” 
“This is literally my first shot.” 
“Then take it.” 
“Fine,” You begrudgingly complied, and you hadn´t even placed your glass back down before Wooyoung was already pouring you more. Figuring you weren´t going to escape this conversation, you downed your second shot and sighed in defeat. 
“Now tell me why you aren´t getting your back blown out at this very moment.” 
“It´s really weird talking about sex with you.” 
“We talk about sex all the time.” 
“Yeah, about other people, not about me, or about you suddenly being willing to fuck me- “ 
“Not suddenly.” 
“Yeah, whatever. Pour me some more.” 
“That´s what I like to hear,” He smirked at you, eyes glinting as he filled your glass up.  
“Y/N looks miserable,” Mingi suddenly stated, dropping his body next to you on the couch coming from seemingly nowhere.  
“Doesn´t she?” Wooyoung agreed, giving you a pointed look as you punched Mingi for the out-of-pocket comment. 
“Where did you even come from?” You asked the tall man next to you, excited for a change of topic. 
“The kitchen,” He absentmindedly answered you, hand busy filling up the glasses in front of you before handing you one. “Take a shot with me.” 
And so you did, hissing at the burning sensation and taking deep breaths to not gag at the taste of tequila. 
“OK, why does it look like your house burned down?” The man turned his attention back to you after smashing the empty glass on the little center table in front of you. 
Damn it, Mingi. 
You didn´t even have the time to begin forming any kind of excuses before Wooyoung  answered for you in a heartbeat, “Little Y/N over here is horny.” 
“Jung Wooyoung!” You gasped at his choice of words, thorn between hiding behind your hands, punching the man and apologizing to Mingi. 
Mingi, in turn, was frozen in shock mid pouring himself another shot. And you meant that the man wasn´t even blinking, mouth open and hands stuck in the air holding the glass bottle which you took from him afraid he would break it. 
“See what you´ve done?” You sighed to Wooyoung, elbowing his ribs as you tried waving your hand in front of Mingi´s face for a reaction.  
“Wait, what?” Said man came back to life, his voice way higher than what you´re used to. 
“You heard it, man. She hasn´t been fucked right in ages-” 
“Wooyoung, you know what you said about wanting to keep up with your best friend´s duties?” You asked between gritted teeth, about ready to jump the man and rip all of his hair out. “This is really not it.” 
“But you´re hot!” Mingi seemed confused. 
“I told her that!” Wooyoung ignored you. “I even told her you´d volunteer to help her out-” 
“I so would-” 
“Shut the fuck up, you two! Wooyoung, I´m about a second away from blocking you on my phone and never seeing you again,” You were also as close to ripping your own hair out. “Yes I´m horny, the whole world doesn´t need to hear about it.”  
Mingi noticed the crazy look behind your eyes and rubbed your back in comfort, he too knew what Wooyoung could do to people when he decided to be annoying.  
“It´s ok, love. We´ve all been there,” Mingi assured you and his words did soothe you a bit.  
“It´s just – You guys don´t get it. It´s not about just sex. I know I could literally fuck anyone at this party if I wanted to, I´m not dense. I guess I just miss dating but I don´t really want to date anyone at the moment?” 
“So like a friends with benefits thing?” Wooyoung pressed. 
“No, that´s just fucking with a fancy title. I mean like, I miss being touched and hugged and pampered and – I don´t know.” 
“Every time I try to hug you, you freeze and glare at me!” Mingi pouted. 
“I´m just not a touchy person!” 
“I know! That´s why I´m not understanding what you want.” 
“Just forget it-” 
“I get it,” Wooyoung interrupted.  
“Do you?” 
“Yeah.” 
“Are you sure?” 
“You want a boyfriend without the obligations and feelings involved with a relationship. I was right, you´re needy.” 
“Oh,” Apparently it made sense to Mingi too. 
“Ok, and with that, I excuse myself,” You say, already standing up to go find someone else to hang out with because you were definitely not ready for the rest of that conversation. 
★ 
“What are you doing here?” You asked in annoyance after opening the door to your place to a very content looking Wooyoung. 
"I came to be your boyfriend-not-boyfriend,” He smiled proudly. 
"We're not fucking, Wooyoung,” You managed to sigh and roll your eyes at the same time. "Which is exactly what I told you the other 50 times you suggested it." 
"Who said anything about fucking? I'm just here to force the touch-deprivation out of you. Now move, I brought snacks," He said as if he hadn't already pushed you out of the way about midway through his sentence.   
You sighed in defeat, accepting your peaceful quiet night was ruined - You hadn't even locked the door yet and Wooyoung was already sprawled on your couch organizing the snacks on your coffee table, making way more noise than necessary.  
"At least you brought my favorite," You noticed, arms crossed as you stood up next to the couch.  
"These are all your favorites," His eyes were even shining with the amount of pride he had for himself. 
"Says who?" 
"Says me." 
"You called Seonghwa, didn't you?" 
"Only about the chips." 
"Knew it." 
"It's not my fault you literally change your opinions every day." 
"Welcome to girlhood." 
"Now sit down and I'll put something on Netflix." 
"Wooyoung, why-" 
"Y/N, listen," It was his turn to sigh. "You helped me through a lot when everything happened with my grandpa and you were always there for me when shit went down, just let me help you this once however I can." 
"Ok, got it. Enough with the sentimental talk," You quickly obeyed. You didn't like serious Wooyoung.  
"Now, are we feeling Criminal Minds?" He asked once you were sitting next to him, remote in hand. 
"Sounds great." 
“Perfect,” Wooyoung agreed as he put on the show, quickly standing up to turn off the lights before sitting back down and opening his arms. “Come here.” 
“Uh, I would rather not.” 
“I don´t care, we´re doing this.” 
“I don´t think forcing me to cuddle you will help much-” 
“Do you want me to really force you? Because I can,” He raised his eyebrow at you, arms still hanging in the air. 
“I´m pretty sure I´m stronger than you-” 
“Oh my god, just shut up,” He groaned and rolled his eyes at the same time, bending his body forward so he could grab onto your waist and pull you against his chest.  
Ok, yeah. He was definitely stronger than you. 
“Can you not make it so difficult?” He asked once he noticed how stiff you were in between his legs. “Stretch your legs, relax.” 
You decided against reminding him that he was in fact forcing you to do this and obeyed, he was just trying to help after all and maybe he did have a point: Some human touch might help calm your mind down. Also, the quicker you played along, the sooner it would be over.  So, stretching your legs across the couch you did, letting your body relax against Wooyoung´s, who contently wrapped his arms around you as you both turned your attention towards the Tv.  
Well, that lasted for about 10 minutes before you started feeling the heat of your friend´s skin radiating and everything started making sense: Being held by someone you loved really was comforting. Huh, who would have guessed? 
You generally hated being touched by people but right now you kind of felt like a cat, wanting to rub your head on Wooyoung´s shirt and snuggle into his warmth.  
“Can I play with your hair or will you bite my hand of?”  
“You can try,” You answered, not wanting to admit he was right all along and that you would very much like more of whatever this was.  
You could practically feel the roll of his eyes at your threatening tone as he pulled your head like you were just one big barbie doll, so your right cheek would be rested against his chest, turning your body to the side so now your right shoulder kind of met his chest instead of your back.  
“Ouch, you could be gentler,” You complained, rubbing your forehead skin where his palm was planted seconds before.  
“When you deserve it,” He grunted, eyes fixed on the Tv.  
“That was not very let me help you of you.” 
It was easy to tell he bit back his comeback, simply taking a deep calming breath and burying his fingers in the hair behind your neck, gently rubbing the area – Maybe you would purr. Judging you now had the upper hand, you decided to in return wrap your own arms around his wait so you could get comfortable and Wooyoung  gave you a cocky victory smile. 
Damn it. 
The two of you went through the entire episode like that and you were so relaxed that when Wooyoung stood up to open the snacks and grab some wine, you didn´t even complain about how that was a bad idea, sharing some glasses while you watched the second and third episodes and he tossed you around into every cuddling position you never even knew existed, discussing who you though were the killers and all the little gossips of the week. 
“You could create like a cuddling Kama Sutra,” You joked, kind of dizzy because of the drink – or because you had an incredibly attractive man holding you for the past 2 hours or so.  
“Will you quit complaining about my touchy personality now?” He smiled. 
“Nah, this was a one-time thing.” 
“Are you at least feeling a bit better?” Wooyoung asked, adjusting himself on the couch to look at you since you were now sitting side to side after the last episode ended.  
“Yes, actually.” 
It was true, you were no longer feeling like you could rip your entire skin off if you went through another second of someone not touching you.  
“I have one last move prepared,” He informed excitedly. 
“We´re not fucki-” 
“Oh my god, will you quit it with the fucking thing? If you keep bringing It up I might start thinking you´re interested-” 
“What was the idea?” You quickly asked, trying to cut the flirting off before it could lead your brain somewhere you spent the entire night not wanting to go.  
“Let me give you a massage.” 
“Wow, you´re really invested in this helping me thing.”  
“Contrary to your big mouth, I am a good friend. Sit down right here,” Wooyoung ordered, opening his legs and pointing to the space on the floor in between his feet. “Tonight I´ll take the neediness out of you the best I can since you refuse to go out and get some dick.” 
You rolled your eyes and ignored his remark, sitting down where he showed you and waiting silently as he gently gathered your hair and moved it out of the way. You cursed at how your skin erupted in goosebumps as his fingertips brushed against the side of your neck, your breath suddenly caught in your chest. 
You followed the realization that this was probably a horrible idea with another glass of wine, thankful he couldn't feel your heart beating fast.  
Wooyoung worked his thumbs in circles, digging them between your scapulae and pressing them up until they reached your shoulders, which he squeezed in the perfect strength to get shivers running up your spine every minute as he repeated the motion over and over.  
“How are you so good at this?” You whined, hating how your body was reaction to the touches. 
“There´s really nothing I´m not good at.” 
“Humbleness,” You offered. 
“That was a cliché answer, you can do better than that.” 
“I don´t care, just please never stop.” 
“I get that a lot.” 
“Do you really need to make everything sexual?” 
“I´ve always been that way, it´s not my fault that now that you´re horny it´s bothering you.” 
You hated when he put it like that, because yes. 
And maybe the way he sometimes would squeeze your neck during the massage or just the fact that he was touching you, were getting you feeling some type of way you would rather he did not notice.  
“If you were a girl, you´d understand,” You groaned. “Ovulation sucks.” 
“You actually just gave yourself the perfect solution, why don´t you fuck a girl?” 
´Cause what I really want is fucking you. 
Oh, wow.  
Where did that come from? 
“Speaking of which, do you even know how to?” You ask, admittedly kind of shy of asking such question.  
“Know how to what?” 
“Like, have- you like- With women?” You try, motioning widely towards the couch with your hands as if it would help you get your point across so you wouldn´t have to say the words. 
Wooyoung seemed to get it though, hands suddenly stopping on your back so you would look at him, “Y/N, you do know I have fucked women, right?” 
“How would I? You never told me!” You whine. 
“I thought it would be disrespectful?” 
“But when you told me how much you loved choking on San´s dick it wasn´t?” 
“Well, no-” 
“Or when you literally shared about how you thought about your fingers inside of me?” 
“You asked for it!” 
“I don´t believe you,” You narrowed your eyes towards him. “There´s no way I wouldn´t have known.” 
“Do you want like a list or something?” 
“What? No! That would be disrespectful.” 
“See?” 
“Ok, no, wait. Just tell me this: Lauren?” 
“Yes.” 
“Wooyoung, nooooo!” You whined. 
“What? She´s hot!” He was exasperated. 
“Oh my god, everything makes so much sense now.” 
“Wait, did you really think I was gay? We´ve know each other for years! I talk about women all the time!” 
“Yeah, but I thought you talked about women like Kevin talks about Beyoncé! Like in a slayy pussy  queennn way, not in a I´d want to fuck her way.”  
“Would you like me to go around harassing women?” 
“No, listen: I didn´t think you were gay, I just kind of never thought about it?” 
"You though I was just joking around with you the other day and you still got all hot and bothered?" Would he quit teasing you? "Kinky." 
“I thought you were playing and I didn't get any way!" 
“Whatever you say, princess - Wait, why did you think Ali was always hanging around my neck all these months?” 
“I just thought she was kind of crazy – Wait, did you fuck her that good? She wouldn´t leave us alone for a second, it was driving me insane." 
“I just told you there´s nothing I´m not good at,” He winked at you with a cocky smile on his face. 
You wanted to die.  
“Wooyoung,” You warned. 
“Awn, am I getting to you?” His tone was so sarcastic and condescending that a fire burned inside of you that you were afraid was never going out.  
“It´s the wine,” You assured, more yourself than him. 
“It´s always something.” 
“See? That´s why I told you I didn´t want to be alone with you.” 
“Afraid you´ll jump me?” He mocked. “I´m not scared.” 
"Just shut up. If whatever you're saying is true, I just want you to know you have the worst taste in women ever." 
"Well, considering I would love to taste you more than I would anyone else, I agree," He played with your words.  
“Go wash the glasses,” You ordered, the skin under your cheeks burning.  
“Yes, ma’am,” He answered with a laugh, immediately standing up and following along.  
When you were alone in the living room, your face fell between your hands in despair. 
You fucking hated Jung Wooyoung and his fucking giant noise. 
★  
Stupid fucking Jung Wooyoung.  
Fucking hell.  
Cursed be the day that man was born and cursed be the hospital and the doctors and the nurses and everyone in the world for all you cared. 
Your entire body was filled with rage as you opened the stupid coffee maker to pour the water into the compartment – which you had of course forgotten to fill 10 minutes earlier and almost burnt the whole office down. How would you explain to your boss that you started a fire because your brain was simply too busy flashing images of you sitting on your stupid annoying best friend´s face for the past 4 hours? 
It has been 2 days since the day at your place, 2 nights since you've gotten a decent night of sleep. "Why is that?" One would ask. Well, the answer would be that your useless brain decided to sabotage you, having you dream about your best friend over and over again – Which wouldn't be so bad if 90% of the dreams didn't consist of you ridding said best friend's face, waking up sweating and wanting to scream. 
At this point you just wanted to break Wooyoung's nose with a punch, so you'd never have to think about it again. After almost ripping your hair out in front of your computer, you decided on texting Hoshi for Mingyu's number - That's how desperate you were to get stupid fucking Jung Wooyoung out of your head. At least your friend assured that your ex was indeed single now and still didn't hate you, which was enough for you.  
Not really knowing how to tell your ex-boyfriend, after so much time has passed, that you just wanted him to throw you around, things weren't going as fast as planned and you couldn't keep avoiding Wooyoung forever – One, because he has no sense of boundaries and would just show up at your place if you ignored him and two, you really didn't want to have the conversation that would go down when he found out why you weren't around.  
It'd been over a week since you last saw Wooyoung in person, you were still in the talking stages with Mingyu, dreaming about your friend every fucking night and staring at his picture on the chatting app for hours while wanting to die. Now, you kind of genuinely didn't care anymore, Mingi and Wooyoung were right, maybe this was just about getting some dick – and you would find out if one could die of horniness if you didn't get some soon.  
It was Saturday night, Hongjoong decided to throw a small party at his place to celebrate his birthday and you figured alcohol was a good solution since stabbing a knife into your brain wasn't an option. You even invited Mingyu, hoping in person and after a few drinks you'd figure how to ask him to bend you over – The man said he would be pretty late because of previous scheduled commitments but that he would go. Your ex was an incredibly attractive man who knew his way around a lady, maybe you would see all your problems flying away after tonight. 
Except that after your first cup and some chatting with Mingi and Seonghwa on Hongjoong's couch, Wooyoung decided to arrive.  
You took one (1) - ONE, UNO - look at the man and grabbed your phone, shooting Mingyu a text: don´t come, party´s canceled. 
“Bro, your hair looks sick!” Mingi shouted before your brain could even begin to process what you were seeing. 
You were the one actually about to be sick. 
“Decided to try something new,” Wooyoung smirked, jumping over the back of the couch to sit next to you. 
You simply stared at him dumbfounded, glad he was too busy stealing the drink from your hands to notice your mouth wide open.  
Jung Wooyoung just showed up to the party with the bottom part and the front strands of his hair dyed blonde and you weren´t sure what kind of look that even was but you felt like it genuinely changed your whole life. You were pretty sure you got goosebumps when you first looked at him, lucky you were sitting down with the way your legs got weak. 
“What do you think about it?” He asked you after he was content with finishing what was left in your cup. 
“I hate it.” 
Well, you weren´t lying. Your nails were literally digging into the palm of your hands to try and get your head back in place - The new look made his skin look tanner, the mole under his eye darker, the shape of his nose - 
 The way he pushed his hair back, blonde strands surrounding his face - 
No, nop. 
No. 
“Since I know you´re joking, I´m gonna go say hi to Hongjoong and grab us more drinks so we can get this party started.” 
You let him go with absolutely no fight, eyes wide and glued to his form until he was out of your sight as Seonghwa led him to where the birthday boy was supposed to be. 
“Are you ok?” Mingi asked, noticing the crazy look on your face. 
“I need Wooyoung to fuck me.” 
Your brain definitely was short-circuiting. 
“Oh. Wow. Ok.” 
“I´m being serious. And I´m not happy about it.” 
“Hasn´t he been offering for like weeks now?” 
“Yeah.” 
“So just go and tell him.” 
“That´s not how it works.” 
“Oh my god, why do you have to be so complicated?” 
“I need him to offer again so I can say no, then when he insists, I will give in and pretend I´m kind of thorn about it.” 
“And why is that?” 
“So he doesn´t know he won! And I don´t like being vulnerable or whatever.” 
“I know we said you need some dick, but maybe you just need some therapy.” 
“Yeah, that too, but what I really need right now is your help.” 
“Sure,” Mingi shrugged. That´s what you liked about him, things were simple with him. 
“I need him to think I´m horny.” 
“You are horny.” 
“Yeah, but I need him to see it so he will joke about helping me out again.” 
“And how are you going to do that?” 
“Well, I could stand here with a bitch face all night, but it´s Joong´s birthday so I don´t really want to be like that. I don´t really have any other ideas-” 
“Touch me.” 
“What?” 
“Like, be touchy with me.” 
“Oh, that could work.” 
“That will definitely work.” 
“You´re good,” You complimented. 
“You should come to me for help more often.” 
“Don´t push it.” 
“Fine.” 
“You´re invested, huh?” 
“Move closer,” He ordered and you obeyed, sitting sideways on the couch so you were turned towards him, left knee touching his thigh. “Lean forward and put your hand on my thigh.” 
Despite your body´s discontent, you did as told. 
“And don´t flinch when I touch you,” He warned.  
“I feel like a spy,” You joked. 
“All this because you can´t tell a guy you want to fuck,” He rolled his eyes. 
“C´mon, pretend you´re not enjoying this, I dare you.” 
“Touché.” 
When your friends came back with more people tagging along, the first thing you noticed was the way Wooyoung´s gaze traveled immediately to your hand on Mingi´s thighs.  
Ok, yeah, this could definitely work. 
“Here, princess,” He handed you your drink, which you grabbed with your free hand.  
“Thanks Wooyo,” You smiled at the man before turning your attention back to Mingi, not missing the way your friend squeezed his eyes at you.  
Thankfully, Wooyoung didn´t say anything about it, sitting down on the floor in front of the couch as a circle naturally formed in the living room so everyone could play something, and the first choice was the 007 game. You went along with the plan, hitting Mingi´s thigh instead of your own, touching his arm when you had to laugh, not going stiff when his hand met the skin almost at the hem of your skirt. 
You know what? Mingi was actually really hot too, if this night didn´t end how you expected it to, you were so horny you were just about considering asking him to fuck you.  
Whenever you looked in Wooyoung´s direction, you could practically see the engines turning in his head. It was just a matter of time now and you were already feeling shaky with excitement, which you weren´t exactly thrilled about – But then you looked at him again with that stupid hair and that stupid nose and that stupid half-unbuttoned shirt and decided that to hell with your morals and ethics. 
Mingi apparently decided his role in the ploy wasn´t enough for him, since after an hour or so passed by and people started standing up to go after more drinks or socialize with other people, he waited for Wooyoung to approach before asking loud and clear, “So, any luck with the getting some dick thing?” 
You were not exactly a good actress but you did know how to flirt, so not really knowing how else to react to the sudden improvisation, you smiled at him, “Why? Know someone interested?” 
“Yeah, nice to meet you. I´m Song Mingi,” He half-joked, hand still heavy on your thigh. “Oh, Wooyoung. You´re here, didn´t see you there.” 
He was good, you had to give him that. 
“I can see why,” Wooyoung answered, eyes pointing at the contact between you two.  
“Jealous?” Mingi asked his friend, his tone was humorous, but you could see the challenge in his eyes. Even though he was just playing, he couldn´t help being an egotistical Leo. 
“I wouldn´t say jealous is the right word.” 
“Did you know Y/N invited Mingyu over?” Mingi laughed. 
Wooyoung raised an eyebrow at you, eyes dancing with amusement.  
“I already uninvited him, asshole.” 
“Is that why you´re all touchy today?”  Mingi asked. Ok, you would have to buy him some ice cream after the phenomenal performance he was delivering. “Thought you would convince her to fuck someone, Woo.” 
“Believe me, I tried,” He shrugged. 
“Can we quit talking about me like I´m not here? Also, I´m not an animal in heat, stop being weird.” 
Well, weren´t you?  
Really? 
“You sure seem like it,” Wooyoung completed. 
“You look hornier than me, Wooyoung.” 
“I´m not denying it,” He stated matter-of-factly. 
“Oh shit, I forgot my phone with Yunho,” Mingi cursed, suddenly petting his pockets. He was so convincing you almost forgot he was helping you out. “Shit, shit, shit. I´ll be back later.” 
With that he stood up and quickly marched out of the living room, Wooyoung lazily taking his place next to you on the couch. 
“Were you really about to let Mingi fuck you?” 
“Maybe?” You answer, and well, that wasn´t a lie either. 
“Ouch, that kind of hurts my ego.” 
“Mingi and I are just friends, now you and I are best friends. There´s a huge difference there.” 
“So, you´re saying you´d fuck me if we weren´t best friends?” He joked. “Wow, thank you. I´m shy now. No need for all these compliments.” 
You rolled your eyes, not sure what to say that would lead you towards what you wanted, choosing to just be normal and hope the night would eventually get you there. 
“Why did you cancel on Mingyu?” 
“Didn´t think he would throw me around today.” 
“Someone´s getting bold.” 
“Shut up.” 
“I actually like frustrated Y/N, it´s hot.” 
“Then stop bothering me to fuck someone and let me be frustrated in peace.” 
“Well, that seems nice but I´m sure you´d look much hotter getting the frustration out.” 
“Are we back to the “you imagining someone fucking me” thing?” 
“I could correct you once again saying that I´m not imagining someone else, but since you´ve made it pretty clear that you´re not interested, I´m not going to.” 
That was it, that was your moment. 
“And what if I tell you maybe I am?” 
He stopped to give you a knowing cocky smirk that made you immediately regret raising the white flag, “I know.” 
“What? Ho- No -” 
“Y/N, you wouldn´t stop staring at me like you wanted me to destroy you in front of everyone while Mingi literally had his hand on you.” 
“That´s not -” 
“Do I have to pretend I think you were squirming because of him and not me? I can play dumb if you´d like. I can even go call him back if you tell me you weren´t wishing it was my hand almost getting under your skirt instead of his. So, are you going to give in now or are we going to keep playing this game?” 
“Wooyoung-” 
“We´re best friends, I know. But I don´t see how you avoiding me because you get wet every time I´m around is doing our friendship any favors either.” 
Ok, he did make a pretty good case even though you were already convinced like an hour ago. 
“You´re right.” 
“I know.” 
“So?” 
“I´m not fucking you at Hongjoong´s.” 
You stared at him, completely dumbfounded – also not liking how the tables have turned one bit. Wooyoung in turn laughed and sent you another playful wink, “Trust me, you won´t want anyone around.” 
“It took a lot from me to come to terms with this, so we´re either doing it tonight or we´re not doing it.” 
“Oh, princess,” He gave you a condescending look that got you wanting to rip his hair out. “I find that hard to believe, but I appreciate the enthusiasm.” 
“Wooyoung-” 
“Y/n,” His voice was calm, hand finding its place on your thigh where Mingi´s was earlier, except this time the touch burned and got you fighting for your life not to squirm. “I said I´m not fucking you at Hongjoong´s, not that I´m not fucking you.” 
“Then let´s go.” 
“Now, that would be rude, wouldn´t it?” 
“Why are being like this?” You whined, about a second away from actually hitting the cockiness out of him.  
“You have this needy look in your eyes, like you´re ready to drop down and beg at any moment,” He smiled, his free hand gently tucking your hair behind your ear like he wasn´t talking about you on your knees. “It´s cute.” 
“You know what will be cute? When I ask Mingi to fuck me instead.” 
“If you can go to Hongjoong, in front of everyone, and tell him that we need to leave his birthday party right now because you can´t wait for me to fuck you, I´m good to go.” 
“Have you always been this annoying?” 
“Only when I know you´ll like it.” 
“You know you were the one asking to fuck me for weeks, right?” 
“I know.” 
“You just know everything, don´t you?” 
“See? You´re hot when you´re frustrated.” 
“You think I´m sexually frustrated but now I´m actually just mad at you.” He simply smiled at you in return, and you rolled your eyes once you realized where you had dug your grave, “I forgot you have a degradation kink or whatever. Can´t even be angry at you in peace anymore.” 
“If you´re really mad at me, we should fix that. I wouldn´t want my best friend to be angry at me.” 
“I don´t think it´s possible to fix it considering being annoying it´s like your whole personality. Point proven.” 
“Come say that closer,” He winked playfully, and you seriously would cringe at the number of times that man has winked at you if he wasn´t Wooyoung.  
Ok, coming completely clean: You were also kind of annoyed at the way you were definitely getting wet at the banter between the two of you, like teasing each other wasn´t what your whole friendship has been about for years. 
It also helped that Wooyoung´s hand was still on your thigh, veins sticking out and fingers filled with rings that you just couldn´t stop picturing against the skin on your neck.  
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 
It took a second to decide if you would actually listen to that one braincell fighting for its life inside your head or not, but in the end, you decided against it, quickly standing up so you could sit on Wooyoung´s lap and take him by surprise as you straddled his thighs, one of your knees on each side of legs.  
Yeah, there was definitely something pulsing in between your legs. Fucking hell. 
You moved too quicky for Wooyoung to process what was going on, so it really was amusing the way he violently jerked once you moved your head closer, lips almost brushing his ears as you whispered, “What do you want me to say?” 
For a second you had almost forgotten it was Jung Wooyoung under you, but he was fast to remind you as one of his hands found its place on the side of your thigh and the other grabbed onto your waist, where his thumb brushed gentle circles against your exposed skin. He took advantage of the fact you were already bent down to say against your ear this time, “You never told me.” 
“What?” You asked, creating some distance between you so you could look at the smirk on his face and because you didn´t quite like the way you got weak when you felt his breath against your skin so closely. 
“The other day, we made a deal. You said you would tell me what you imagined me doing to you if I told you first, but you ran away after I completed my part. You owe me.” 
Under regular circumstances you would have stood up and left right then and there, but the way his palms met the front part of your thighs and started rubbing them up and down, a bit higher each time, got you wanting to play his game to see where it would end. 
“You´re right. That day was the first time I ever thought about you sexually, and you know what triggered it?” 
“What?” He smiled at the way goosebumps erupted all over your skin under his touches. 
“Your nose.” 
“So you like my nose?” 
“And your lips, but mostly your nose.” 
"And what about my lips and nose?" 
"Was just thinking about how good they'd feel under me," You look into his eyes, centimeters away from yours, thankful that Hongjoong had deemed the lights at some point of the night and now Wooyoung's face was illuminated only by a pink hue, coming from a fake sunset light your friend had bought on AliExpress. 
"That's good, ‘cause I've never wanted someone to sit on my face so bad before." 
“Careful,” You warned, inching your face closer to his, toying with the buttons on his shirt as your lips were almost brushing. “We still need to go back to being friends after we fuck and get this off our systems.” 
"I’m sure we can manage," He smiled, inching closer himself so now your lips were indeed touching as he continued speaking. "I'm a good friend after all." 
"Kiss me then, I dare you," You breathed out, shooting your last shot. 
He laughed at that, "You know I never back down from a challenge." 
But well, it worked. 
Wooyoung made his words true, grabbing onto your waist with a firmness that you didn't know he had to pull you closer. With your chests now glued, his lips finally pressed against yours and you hated yourself for not being disappointed. You so wanted the man to be all bark and no bite, but the moment his tongue met yours you understood why that girl wouldn't leave him alone. You had indeed kissed many people before, but it had never felt like this - and also, you were right, his plush lips were definitely something to obsess over. 
What didn't surprise you at all, was that like in everything else, Wooyoung was a tease. In some moments when you would deepen the kiss, he would pull back a bit and bite on your bottom lip just to laugh when you groaned in annoyance. When he felt you were getting frustrated at his little games, he would grab onto your hips and grind them against his – which well, definitely got your mind to stop thinking about how insufferable he was. Good thing you knew how to play too, hands finding the roots of his hair to pull harshly on it, almost passing out at the whine he let out.  
"I love that you're wearing a skirt," He groaned out. 
"Why is that?" You were so breathless you almost got embarrassed. 
"I can feel how wet you are." 
Fuck. 
"You must be imagining things." 
"Oh, am I?" The cunning smile he gave you along with those words should have prepared you. 
It really shouldn't have surprised you when one of his hands left your ass and snaked its way in between your bodies. You leaned back a little to try and understand what was happening, giving Wooyoung all the access he needed to get his hand under your skirt and press the pad of his middle finger right on your clit over your panties. 
"Told ya," He smirked in content at the way you gasped involuntarily.  
"Wooyoung-" 
"What? Weren't you the one who couldn't wait?" He teased, rubbing slow circles with his finger. "If you're already soaked like this, I can't even imagine what it would be like if I just pushed your panties to the side-" 
"No-" You whined, thorn between just letting him do whatever he wanted or stopping him - since you were very much in the middle of your friend's living room and there were people around. 
"Getting shy now?"  
“Wooyoung.” 
“That´s my name,” You could see in his eyes how much fun he was having teasing you. 
“You want me to stop teasing or stop touching you?” He mocked with a smile on his face, finger still working on you as you fought with all your life to not squirm on his lap. 
“You know what? If you want everyone to see, I can put on a show,” You sighed, accepting defeat. 
You expected Wooyoung to smirk once again but was instead surprised when he stopped and retreated his hand, adjusting your skirt back in place. Your heart dropped at the sight, searching for answers in his eyes, but they were busy looking somewhere else: Mingi had gotten back. You could see the way the tall man was frozen at the entrance, eyes wide and hand once again stuck in the air – this time holding his wallet proudly. 
You sent a glare at the intruder (as if there were not at least 10 other people in the room). The moment Mingi´s eyes caught yours, he jumped as if he had just woken up from a nap and he tried mouthing something like “sorry” and “oh shit” so you just rolled your eyes and motioned with your hand for him to move along, preferably far away. He seemed to get the message, almost tripping with how fast he spun on his heels and left.  
“What? Weren´t you the one who wanted everyone to know?” You asked Wooyoung, tone pointy as you climbed off his lap. It was like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over you. THIS WAS JUNG WOOYOUNG. 
YOUR BEST FRIEND JUNG WOOYOUNG. 
THE GUY WHO MADE YOU DRESS LIKE A CHEERLEADER TO GO TO HIS COLLEGE SOCCER GAMES AND CHEER FOR HIM, THE GUY WHO BURPED AND LAUGHED AT HIS OWN DISGUSTINESS, THE GUY WHO DID A CRISTIANO RONALDO IMPRESSION EVERYTIME HE WON SOMETHING, THE GUY YOU HAD TO ONCE RESCUE FROM A PIG FARM AFTER DRINKING WAY TOO MUCH! 
“Yeah, but I guess my protective best friend side spoke louder,” He sighed too, fixing his pants. “Don´t be mad.” 
“I´m not mad.” 
“Yes, you are.” 
“Yes, I´m mad. Ok? Cause now the magic is over or whatever and I realized you´re my best friend and we can´t fuck.” 
He turned around on the couch to be able to look into your eyes, his searching. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out, so he simply closed his eyes, sighed once again and stood up, offering his hand, “C´mon. Let me take you home.” 
“So, Mingyu huh?” Wooyoung asked, one hand on the wheel and the other on the gear.  
“Don´t do that.” 
“Do what?” 
“Ask about another man and pretend everything´s normal.” 
“Well, I guessed that now that we can´t fuck we can go back to being normal best friends.” 
You locked your jaw and crossed your arms. You were angry and you didn´t even know what for – But you expected Wooyoung to fix it, nonetheless. 
“Use your words.” 
“No.” 
“Ok, then. Silent ride it is.” 
You huffed; aware you were acting like a spoiled child, but you were just angry at the mess inside your head and that your friend was not able to read your mind and untangle everything so it made sense. Maybe you really were just spoiled and angry you didn´t get what you wanted when you wanted. 
“Oh. I get it now.” 
“What?” Wooyoung asked, eyes moving from the road for a second to look at you. 
“When you call me a brat. I get it now.” 
“I was searching my brain for plausible reasons for you to be all sulky, for you to admit you were mad just because I didn´t fuck you at the party?” 
“Yeah? Not just that, but you know I don´t like when things don´t go my way, I just wanted everything to happen fast so I wouldn´t have time to think about it but then when I thought about it, I felt bad because I still wanted it to happen but I know it shouldn´t.” 
“Y/N, it´s sex.” 
“Don´t make me sound stupid.” 
“I´m not, you´re just really overthinking this.” 
“Yeah, that´s the whole point. And it´s all your fault, so you see why I´m mad now?” 
“Yes. I´m the worst.” 
“You are.” 
“Not when I fuck you, thought.” 
“The moment has passed, Wooyoung. The train has left the station. Deal with it.” 
“If you say so. Are you opening the garage, or should I park outside?” 
“I didn´t bring the tag – Wait, are you going up?” 
“Street it is then.” 
“Answer me, stupid.” 
“Yes, I´m going up.” 
“What for?” 
“You said it yourself, if we´re best friends and nothing more is ever happening, there should be no problem with me sleeping over, right? We´ve done it thousands of times.” 
“Yeah,” You squeezed your eyes at him. You knew what game he was playing, trying to prove you wrong – But you were also convinced you were more stubborn than him and that you would instead prove him wrong. 
“Slumber party, fun!” He exclaimed, taking the key out and tapping your thigh before leaving his car. 
“Since this was kind of last minute,” You heard Wooyoung´s voice approaching your room, “I didn´t really bring any clothes.” 
And there he was, next to your bed in nothing but a towel around his hips, long messy hair slightly dripping down his torso and toothbrush in his mouth, looking all casual like you both knew he wasn´t doing this on purpose.  
The fact that it was working only made you even more annoyed. 
“You know where the drawer with your stuff is,” You groaned, pretending to look at your nails. 
He looked way too smug as he turned to your closet, opening said drawer to pull out some sweatpants. You kind of expected (or is it hoped the right word?) that he would just unknot the towel and expose himself to try and seduce you, but he behaved and simply pulled the pants under the fabric before unwrapping it.  
“Have you not heard about underwear?” 
“Have you not heard that it´s healthier to sleep without it? You should hang out with me more, I can teach you a lot.” 
“Yeah, I already see you enough, thanks.” 
“Come dry my hair.” 
“I think you´re perfectly capable of doing that yourself.” 
“Yeah, but I like when you do it.” 
You rolled your eyes and groaned, pushing the blanket out of you, “Fine.” 
Wooyoung walked to the bathroom in front of you, surely having planned the way his back and arms looked from behind. You had seen him without a shirt hundreds of times already, why did you feel like you wanted to jump him now?!!?!?!?  You figured you were over it after coming back to your senses but oh boy, were you wrong. 
“Has San been dragging you to the gym?” You asked as he bent over to get the hair dryer from the bottom drawer. You figured making small talk and acting normally would keep your brain busy. 
“Yeah. And you would know that if you opened the hundreds of snaps I send you every day.” 
“I´m not 14, Wooyoung. Snapchat died in 2015, sorry to inform you,” You joked as you plugged the dryer he handed you. “Give me the towel.” 
He did as told, sitting down on your toilet as you started drying the water excess from his hair. Doing your best so no part of your arm or leg would accidentally touch his skin since you could feel the heat emanating from it. 
That was no way of living. 
Once the towel was completely damp, you tossed it on the floor and grabbed a brush, ignoring how he closed his eyes in appreciation at the touch. You fucking hated him and the way your heart was beating fast for absolutely no reason.  
Now untangled, you reached over to get the hair dryer once again but were stopped with a soft touch to the side of your leg. 
You looked down at the man expecting an answer and he simply gave you a lazy smile, gently grabbing your wrist and pulling you in between his legs, “Come here. Let me look at you while you do it.” 
Well, you let him pull you along because there was nothing really sexual about it, Wooyoung was just a touchy person and he looked like he was about to fall asleep anyways.  
You turned on the dryer and used your fingers to move his hair around so the heat would get to his roots, feeling the skin of your face heat up at the way he hummed in content. Wooyoung had a lot of hair, and not just that, but he had a lot of thick hair, so you were already aware you would spend a long time in there, appreciating the silence and the fact he was pretty much out of it so you could let your guard down. 
WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY you jumped in surprise when both of his hands found their way to the side of your thighs, just very softly rubbing them up and down as you dried his strands, goosebumps erupting all over your body at the delicate touch.  
Once again, just sleepy touchy Wooyoung. 
Nothing new, nothing to fuss over. 
Except YOU WERE FUSSING OVER IT BECAUSE ONCE AGAIN YOU FELT A PULSE WHERE YOU DIDN´T WANT TO FEEL A PULSE. 
This whole situation was just so domestic and nice that it scratched a very specific part of your brain that got you wanting to live in that moment forever – except maybe not with your best FRIEND. 
“I like when you touch me,” His raw voice came out softly. “You don´t do it a lot, so I have to enjoy every chance I get.” 
You didn´t have an answer to that, the only thing you could think to say was “stop” but how could he stop when he wasn´t even doing anything to begin with? This time it was not his fault that your mind was in the gutter. 
“You have enough people touching you already,” You managed to string a few words. 
“Yeah, but it feels nicer when it´s you,” He opened his eyes, you could see the sincerity in them and you felt bad that you kind of just wanted to punch him and run away. 
You were also surprised by the sudden unexpected eye contact, which explains why you accidentally pulled one of his strands a bit harshly. WHAT WASN´T EXPLAINED THOUGH, WAS THE LOW MOAN HE LET OUT AND THE WAY HIS EYES CLOSED AS HIS MOUTH PARTED. OR THE WAY YOURS HUNG OPEN TOO AT THE SOUND OR THE WAY YOU COULDN´T STOP STARING AT THE STUPID MOLE ON HIS LIP. 
It was a moment of insanity, a few seconds when your soul was out of your body; when you tentatively pulled on his hair again, feeling his nails digging into the skin of your thighs and his breathing getting heavier, yours matching. 
“If you really don´t want us to fuck then you´re just being cruel right now,” He breathed out, eyes still closed as his forehead met your abdomen.  
“I don´t?” 
“Is that a question?” 
“No. I don´t. I think your hair is dry.” 
“It´s definitely not,” He argued, raising his head once again. “C´mon, finish it. No funny business, I promise.” 
You wanted to tell him it´s not him you were worried about, it’s the way your own body was betraying you that bothered you, but you took a deep breath and continued with the work, doing your best to ignore his eyes on you or how his hands were once again toying with your thighs or how his thighs were touching your legs or how he was centimeters away from you. 
Yeah, a lot of things to ignore. 
Was your bathroom always this small? 
“You smell nice.” 
“I shower once in a while,” You agreed. “And you said no funny business.” 
“I´m complimenting you, how is that sexual?” 
“It´s not,” You agreed. 
He smirked at you because he too was well aware of the tension, if the way his sweatpants were suddenly tight were anything to go by. Thankfully he didn´t answer because you don´t think you could continue to ignore it if he mentioned he was getting hard just by you drying his hair. 
Eventually, after what felt like days, you finally turned off the dryer and prayed he would agree to your suggestion, “You´re done. Wanna sleep?” 
“Nop, this is a slumber party.” 
“What? You want to have a pillow fight now or do facemasks and gossip?” You rolled your eyes. 
“Although the first option sounds fun, I was thinking we can watch something until we fall asleep.” 
Watch something. 
Until you fell asleep. 
In your bed. 
Sure, what could go wrong? 
“What are you doing?” Wooyoung asked amusedly. 
“Building a barrier between our sides of the bed.”��
He laughed loudly at that, crawling into the bed too and taking the pillows from where you were organizing them, “Wooyoung!” 
“Shut up, you enjoyed cuddling once and you will enjoy it again.” 
“Absolutely not.” 
“What? Afraid you won´t be able to resist me? I thought we were just friends,” He teased. 
“Very funny-“ 
“Because if you´re interested we can just skip the foreplay and go straight to –“ 
“What do you want to watch?” 
You ignored his low chuckle, giving up on fighting for the pillows and getting comfortable on your bed so you could turn on the TV. 
“Community?” 
“Great,” You agreed between gritted teeth, opening the Netflix app and putting on the show from where you two had stopped it as Wooyoung fluffed the pillows behind his back next to you.  
This time he didn´t even ask before pulling you in between his legs, your back against his chest. You didn´t even fight it because honestly, what for? You simply groaned as you felt him searching for the light switch on the wall over your bed.  
“Don´t pretend you don´t enjoy it, I´ve got you all figured out now.” 
“Yeah yeah, believe what you want to.” 
“Shut up, I´m trying to watch the show.” 
You huffed, rolled your eyes and crossed your arms all at the same time. You knew it wasn´t at him you were annoyed – although he was sure making a great job at feeding into it.  
You also immediately regretted wearing shorts as the palms of his hands splayed over your thighs.  
“It´s too hot,” You complained, hoping he would let you go. 
Wooyoung simply stretched out one of his hands and grabbed the AC remote, turning it on before tossing it away and returning his palm to your thigh. His silence told you he was focused on the show and you truly wish you could say the same about yourself, but instead, your eyes were glued to the sight in front of you like it was a car wreck, not being able to look away no matter how much your brain ordered you to. Your knees were bent, your thighs almost touching your chest, so his hands were just right there in your line of sight, all veiny and calloused.  
The harder you tried to stir your mind away and pay attention to the TV, the more your brain looked like a Wattpad fanfic written by a 40-year-old who just got divorced and discovered sex wasn't just missionary. The conversation you had with Wooyoung about how the girls he fucked became literally obsessed with him kept flashing into your head and you were legitimately about to bite onto your fist and scream for 7 whole minutes.   
Your mental breakdown however was interrupted by the man behind you, who with no words started tracing his fingers – seemingly – unpresumptuously over your skin. You ignored it because you had no energy to fight it and as long as it stayed PG-rated it would be fine.  
The soft touches plus the very cold wind from the AC hitting you got goosebumps to erupt up your skin and you just felt how your nipples were suddenly sensitive against the fabric of your shirt and Wooyoung´s hand were just there, mere centimeters away and oh, you so desperately wanted him to touch them. In fact, you wanted it so badly you were fighting for your life to keep the uncomfortable squirming to a minimum.  
Thankfully, Wooyoung didn´t notice it – deep down you knew he was just pretending not to for your sake, but if he could, so would you.  
“Who do you think is hotter, Annie or Britta?” His voice suddenly, almost against your ear, shocked you. “Oh, jumpy, are we?” 
“Shut up, I was just startled.” 
“So?” 
“Britta.” 
“Same.” 
He went quiet once again, except now, when you thought his mind was once again focused on the show, his hands started getting braver. They escalated from just his fingers drawing shapes on the patch above your knees to suddenly coming down to the sensitive skin between your thighs. You jerked involuntarily even though he only traced his fingers about halfway down your legs. Wooyoung once again pretended to not notice your reaction and you pretended to not notice he was touching you.  
His fingers gently brushing the sides of your thighs all the way to your knees before you could feel the tip of his middle finger slowly grazing your skin down the inside of your thighs, lower and lower each time he came down. At this point your heart was beating so fast it was almost coming out of your throat, your breathing labored and sweat building up on your forehead even though the room was freezing cold.  
“She´s kind of annoying, though.” 
“Who?” You breathed out, honestly not even knowing your name anymore. 
“Britta.” 
“Oh, yeah.” 
Silence once again.  
Attention back to the show. 
You had to control your whine of disappointment when he retreated his hands.  
Ok, you took the chance to breathe, count to 10 and give yourself a pep talk. You could do this. You would not fuck your best friend. If not because of your morals and because of your friendship, because fucking him would mean he won, and you would never give Wooyoung the satisfaction. 
Ok, you could do this. 
You could definitely do this. 
Wooyoung gently gathered your hair and pushed it over your right shoulder, the familiar goosebumps showing up once again at the way the tip of his fingers brushed against the skin of your neck.  
Yeah, you could not do this.  
The sound that came out of your mouth when his wet lips met the juncture between your neck and shoulder could only be described as a pinscher finding out it could bark. You were in fact shaking as much as those annoying tiny dogs are known for. 
You froze, not being able to react when you felt him sucking on your skin or when his tongue tried to soothe the pain his teeth left behind. Your core was clenching so hard it hurt. 
“Wooyoung,” Your voice came out as half plead half warning.  
“Hm?” He hummed against a different spot on your neck, and it made it a thousand times worse.  
 “We shouldn´t-” 
“Just tell me to stop and I will.” 
Except you couldn´t. Not when he found your sweet spot and grazed his teeth against it before gently sucking on it. This time you allowed yourself to squirm and you felt it at the same time you heard it; Wooyoung groaned as you accidentally pressed against him and figured out you were not the only one going insane. His dick was hard and now very much pulsing against your ass and lower back.  
Both of you realized you never told him to stop and you were fighting so hard to gain control of your body back as he kissed the vein on your neck - but it was all lost when his hands snaked around your torso and grabbed your boobs. You whimpered, shamefully, squeezing your legs together to try and relieve some of the throbbing.  
His kisses grew harsher, as he sucked one spot hard enough to leave a mark, the pad of his middle fingers toyed with your nipples and you simply couldn't pretend you didn´t want this to happen anymore, not with the way you could literally start dripping onto your bed any moment now.  
A gasp left your lips when his right hand grabbed onto your thigh and pulled your legs open. You felt his dick twitching when he saw the wet patch in the middle of your shorts. 
“Oh, princess,” He sighed, pressing against the stain in pure admiration. 
“Wooyoung-” 
“Tell me to stop.” 
He gave you no time to consider his words, pulling the bottom of your shorts and panties to the side and rubbing his middle finger down your slit to wet it. You carved your nails onto his thighs in return, doing your best to stay grounded. It didn´t even take a minute for you to understand why the prior girls who slept with Wooyoung became obsessed with him, you weren´t really doing anything yet and the second the pad of his finger found your clit while his other hand gently pressed down onto your lower stomach everything became even clearer. You threw your head back on his shoulder in pleasure as he rubbed figure eights against your clit. 
Yeah, you agreed to pretend nothing happened starting tomorrow, but you figured you would never be able to forget the sound of your best friend´s deep moan against your ear when he felt you around his finger for the first time. 
“Glad to see I´m not the only one going crazy,” He groaned against your ear - and when did his voice get so raspy? 
You whined once again, not really knowing what else to do when you were practically on the edge from a minute or two of stimulation. 
“Tell me to stop.” 
“Wooyoung-” 
“I love when you say my name.” 
Were you about to cry? 
At this point, you just wanted him to ignore you and throw you around and do whatever he wanted, but you knew he wouldn´t until you said so, and you were definitely not doing that. Although with every second that passed with his finger on you, that definitely was turning more into a probably.  
“I never told you.” 
“Wha- What?” 
“From all the ways I imagined this happening, I never told you my favorite.” 
“What is it?” 
“It´s the one where we´re in a sleepover and you´re so desperate that you can´t even go to the bathroom, so you just very quietly put your hands inside your shorts and touch yourself right next to me thinking that I´m asleep. And I pretend I am, but I can hear the small whimpers you try to hold back, I can feel the slight shake of the bed and I can hear how wet you are so clearly. Sometimes, I even imagine you would decide to use me, not even try to wake me up, just sit on my face and ride it until I pretend to wake up and finally eat you out until you´re crying and shaking.” 
When you literally had to hold yourself back from finishing at his words, you grabbed his hand and turned around on your knees, smashing your lips with no fanciness against his. He was quick to grab your ass and direct you to sit on top of his legs, your thighs on either side of his in the familiar position as your tongues met and you pulled the hairs on the back of his neck with all the frustration you had inside you. 
“We´re not fucking,” You informed in between labored breaths. 
“We don´t have to fuck, I just need you to sit on my face.” 
You never whined so loudly in your life before. 
That was the one single thing you have been dreaming about hearing for weeks now and you were so happy you could practically cry, in fact, you almost came right there without even being touched. 
I´ll be posting part 2 this week because this was already too long and crashing my terrible terrible computer <3
I´ll be proof reading this some other day sorry for any mistakes I´m just a dyslexic girl with adhd and no english lessons ever
3K notes · View notes
yeahxsurexokay13 · 6 months ago
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ideal weekend, lando norris
summary: while fans stress about the fact that, following their breakup, the actress won't be there to witness the driver's first ever f1 win, y/n gets asked about her ideal weekend off in an interview and accidentally manifests it [actress!reader]
warnings: i think only very bad editing (i tried) and me bringing up yet another footballer i feel affection for for literally no reason
fc: madelyn cline
started this as something completely different from what it ended up being but i think i like it. i'd love it if you let me know what you think tho (((:
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y/n.y/l
📍miami
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Liked by rudeth and 1.059.326 others
y/n.y/l yet another victim of a @/maxverstappen1 win. had so much fun but i think i'll just stick to acting 🙃🙃🫠 thank you @/redbullracing for having me!!! <333
view all 2.071 comments
username at a red bull event? what happened to once a mclaren girl always a mclaren girl????
username this event was basically work for her ?? you ppl need to stop taking everything so personally omg
username professional SUPER FAST driver, part time actress ❤️ by author
username you're in miami the same week of the miami gp. coincidence? i think not 😌😌
username GORGEOUS GORGEOUS GIRL
redbullracing Glad you had fun Y/n! Maybe we should start considering you for a guest appearance in our garage 😉
mclaren Thanks for the offer, Red Bull! But we've already got dibs on her 😉
username UM I HOPE THIS ISN'T A JOKE ??
username don't play with me like this admin!!
mclaren Don't worry. We won't hold this against you 🧡
y/n.y/l ily guys 🧡🧡🧡
username Ok cool now go finish season 4
username Why are u in Miami shouldn’t u be filming obx 4 😪
y/n.y/l side quest
username not the Y/n x F1 content I was hoping for but at this point I'll take what I can get
maxverstappen1 Next time I'll give you a head start. Enjoyed having you with us, Y/n 🫶
y/n.y/l there will definitely not be a next time but thanks tho!!!👍🏼 always a pleasure seeing you ❤️
username pretty 🩷
username Why is Max literally this🧍🏼‍♂️❤️ by author
landonorris Um what's this?
y/n.y/l 😶 not what it looks like
username seeing you two banter like this makes my heart ache 💔
username i'm never moving on from y/nlando sigh
username OBX S4 WHEN QUEEN
29 April 2024
mclaren added to their story
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y/n.y/l
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Liked by maxfewtrell and 1.890.345 others
y/n.y/l me and FORMULA 1 RACE WINNER lando norris
view all 3.830 comments
username JUST WHEN I THOUGHT TODAY COULDN'T GET ANY BETTER OMFG
username formula 1 race winner lando norris has a nice ring to it 😉 ❤️ by author
username What a race, and what a win for Lando!!!
username IM LOSING IT YALL I JUST CHECKED OUT OF CURIOSITY AND BRIGHTON ALSO WON TODAY Y/N MANIFESTED HER IDEAL SUNDAY
username minus the relaxing part lol i know for a fact bestie was stressing in that garage
carlossainz55 It's great to see you back at a race! Missed having you around! ❤️
y/n.y/l thank you carlitos ❤️ wish i could've got to see you up there with lando
charles_leclerc ouch ? 🫤
y/n.y/l noooo, i didn't mean you!!! x
maxverstappen1 ouch?
y/n.y/l i did mean you. sorry /:
username are we back in 2022 and i didn't realise?????? not complaining at all tho
mclaren You and FORMULA 1 RACE WINNER Lando Norris look amazing! 🧡 ❤️ by author
username admin definitely ships
username children of divorce rise !!!!!!! ❤️ by author
username u think u're so funny liking this @.y/n.y/n but we're actually hurting we want our mum back!!!
username seeing you celebrate with lando was everything 🥹🥹🥹
username when i tell you i sCREAMED !!!!!!
username Everything in the world has been healed due to this post
oscarpiastri Awesome that you could come watch. Missed you ❤️
y/n.y/l missed you more pastry boy ❤️❤️
username we were robbed from this friendship !!!😪
username can't believe how emotional I am seeing you two together at his big win
francisca.cgomes ❤️❤️❤️ ❤️ by author
username just realised i am not as over y/nlando as i thought i was. in fact i am not over y/nlando at all.
username well seeing you with FORMULA 1 RACE WINNER Lando Norris just hit me right in the feels💔
landonorris Thanks for being there to share the moment with us ❤️ ❤️ by author
landonorris Also I think after this you might now have to come to every race ever
y/n.y/l clearing my schedule as we speak 🫡
username i am so ready to be delusional
05 May 2024
2K notes · View notes
really-fanny-longbottom · 6 months ago
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never yours
summary: azriel never regretted his decisions so much like he does right now.
warnings: angst (like a lot), fluff (also a lot because we need a balance)
pairings: azriel x reader, azriel x elain, lucien x reader
words: 6.1k
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you were born in day court during the longest and the warmest day of the year — summer solstice.
even though it's not a custom to exchange gifts on that holiday, your parents always told you that you were their greatest gift and that the sun shined brighter that day like he knew that you would be entering this world very soon. 
your father was helion's best and longest friend, and he had a place in his court as his second in command and advisor. 
your mother was the lead healer of the court. she was one of the most powerful and talented healers of prythian, being a very close second to madja. 
due to your parents' jobs, you grew up in the day court palace and close to helion, who didn't just happen to be your high lord but also your godfather. 
your parents reconsider that maybe making helion your godfather had been a mistake because of how much he spoiled you.
on your 4th birthday, he gave you a black baby pegasus as a present, which you decided to name him blackjack.
when he discovered that you liked reading, he had a private library built in your room with all kinds of books.
when you were seven and heard an old male saying that females should only wear dresses, you only wore pants for the next three months and of course, helion made sure you had every type of pants at your disposal. 
when your parents tried to scold him, he just scoffed with his only response being, 'she's my goddaughter. what else am I supposed to do?' with a big grin plastered in his face.
you weren't helion's child, but he always treated you like one, and that never changed, especially after your parents' death. 
your favorite thing about your parents was their mating bond. after you learned that mates are rare and a blessing, it made every single thing about your parents' love even more unique and pure.
you saw first hand what true love is really like. you saw how much they loved, cared, supported, and protected each other.
you saw loyalty and honesty in their deepest forms. seeing your parents' mating bond made you wish to the stars for a mate, and that one day, you would be blessed enough to find him. 
but you also saw how deep a mating bond could go — you saw it first hand, too.
you saw it when your mother died after getting infected by a rare disease while trying to help her patients.
her death destroyed your father. the pain and the grief of losing your mother — his mate, and the love of his life were so big that your father followed her into the next life a few days later, so they could start their next journey together.
before he died, your father made helion promise him that he would take care of you, which he agreed without hesitation.
he became more protective of you. he couldn't stop thinking how unfair it was for you to lose your parents at such a young age, only eleven years old, when helion had them for centuries.
your godfather made sure to provide you with anything you needed from the best education to the best clothes, and when your healing powers start manifesting and you decide to follow your mother's steps, helion called in a favor to thesan to see if he could teach you himself.
the high lord of dawn was happy to accept, and so were you at the thought of having him as your teacher.
you moved to dawn court for a year where you learned everything about being a healer, not only with the high lord himself but also with his best healers. 
you became one of the best — talented, powerful, gifted, and wise. just like your mother.
madja was looking for an apprentice at the time you returned to day, and when she heard about your skills, she asked for you.
rhysand reached out to helion with madja's offer — you would be her apprentice, work in the clinic with her but you would also assist her if she ever needed to go to a patient's residence, and would learn everything she could teach you. 
it wasn't needed to convince you to agree. you had heard about madja and her healing, after thesan, she was the healer you wanted to work with the most, so of course you were more than happy to have a chance to have her as your mentor.
rhysand added that you would be welcome to stay in one of his personal residences, the house of wind, during your stay in velaris.
you were only supposed to stay in the night court for a year, but that was before you met the shadowsinger. 
however, despite wanting the apprenticeship more than anything, if you had known what would happen when you agreed to go to the night court, you would never have accepted the offer.
•••
azriel couldn't sleep.
no matter how much he tried, he couldn't. not with tomorrow so close, not when he knew what was waiting for him in the morning. 
the past was haunting him tonight, his thoughts hadn't stopped since he had been informed earlier of tomorrow's meeting.
so now, here he was, trying to keep his eyes open even though his body was protesting for him to do the opposite.
but he was fighting that need because every time he closed his eyes, you were all he saw.
your beautiful face with your sparkling eyes, your smooth hair, your pointy ears, your sweet voice, and your soft laughter.
you were haunting his thoughts like a punishment for all those years ago. 
so all he could do now was to sit on the edge of his balcony with his legs hanging off while waiting for the sun to be born, and remember how things used to be before he destroyed everything.
 •••
everything was perfect in the beginning.
velaris was beautiful, the people were kind, and the pastries were absolutely delicious. 
the only thing you actually missed, besides helion, was the warmth of the sun like no other court had but the day court — that was just the day citizen in you talking.
your apprenticeship was going amazing. you and madja had instantly connected, and you were learning so much.
two weeks later, you were already attending your own patients without supervision.
you really had a gift, and every time madja complimented your powers, you gave all the credits to your genes — to your mom.
it warmed your heart knowing that the mother had blessed you with this part of her. In this way, it felt like she was always with you.
the house of wind felt just like home, and you adjusted perfectly.
the inner circle had welcomed you with open arms, and you got along with everyone. they thought you and mor would be the closest of all, but they got a big surprise when it turned out to be you and azriel.
the shadowsinger was different from everyone you ever met.
everyone in day was so loud, extroverted and open.
but not him.
he was calm, reserved, and difficult to read, but with time, you ended up finding out that the two of you were more alike than you thought. you were able to go through the shell that azriel had so perfectly built around him over the centuries. 
a friendship was born.
every day, qzriel would fly you to the clinic and then back to the house. you explored velaris together and made your personal mission to try every single restaurant and bakery from the city of starlight. 
you walked along the sidra and even stopped once in a while to dance along the melodies that the musicians were playing. you would read together whether that was in the library, in your room, or in his. you even started training with him and sometimes, cassian.
you became each other's person. 
when a day at the clinic was hard or you would lose a patient, he was there to hug and comfort you, and you found yourself doing the same for him about his missions.
so you decided to take the next step and spoke about your parents' death, how much still affected you losing them.
and in that moment, azriel realized how much trust you put in him, so he decided to return it and opened about his past, his family, and his hands. you listened to every word, cleaned every tear, and held him for as long as he needed.
tou found yourself falling in love with him a little more day by day, and it only took you a few months to realize that you were completely in love.
the day the bond snapped was one of the happiest days of your life.
it happened during the most beautiful celebration in the night court — starfall.
your hair was tied in a long braid that reached down to your waist, decorating the braid were small yellow daylilies.
you were wearing a golden dress that fit perfectly against your sun-kissed skin. the dress had a slit on the left side that went up to the top of your thigh, a single strap held the dress on your right shoulder and when you turned around, whoever was behind you could have a perfect view of your naked back.
golden jewels rested on your ears and neck. 
you looked like a goddess — one blessed by the sun itself.
you were shining just like a day court citizen should.
azriel standed next to you in the balcony while gazing at the spirits passing.
both of your hands rested on the stone of the balcony, and when you went to adjust your hand, it brushed against azriel's.
at the new feeling, you looked up to find his eyes, only to see the shadowsinger already looking at you.
in that moment, with the touching of your hands and the meeting of your eyes, the world stopped.
your hands start interviewing, and everything else just disappeared.
it was just the two of you and the sound of your heartbeats. and then, a golden thread appeared and started tying your hearts and souls.
azriel held your free hand and pressed it against his own chest, right where his heart laid.
you followed his action, freeing your intertwined hands and putting his hand on your chest, above your heart. 
with the final loop of the golden thread around your hearts, azriel bent down and kissed you. 
that moment couldn't be more beautiful and magical even if you tried.
you had finally found the mate that you had wished to the stars all those years ago. 
everything was perfect.
you had everything you wanted and more.
you lived in a beautiful city that you learned to love and were starting to call it home. 
you had the job of your life, working alongside one of your idols. 
amazing friends that made you feel welcomed and part of a little family.
and finally, your mate, the male you were in love with, long before that beautiful and sacred golden thread.
everything was perfect.
but of course, nothing lasts forever.
and all of that disappeared when elain archeron came into the picture.
•••
ten years.
he couldn't believe that much time had passed. all those years without you.
it had been ten years since the last time he saw you.
ten years since he had heard something regarding you.
ten years since he had broken your heart.
and ten years since he had made the biggest mistake of his entire existence.
you had moved back to day court after that day, after what happened and after what he did. 
the high lord of day had forbidden azriel from seeing you and from trying to contact you in any way.
and months later, when the rumors of a certain shadowsinger flying above the palace in hopes to get a glimpse of you reached his ears, helion banned him from his court.
helion had always been a very charismatic and loving person.
he's kind, generous, and a very good friend. He gets along with almost everyone, always joking around and laughing. 
some people may say that he's the nicest and kindest high lord that prythian has ever seen. 
when problems arise, he always tries to find a solution to solve them or if a solution is not possible, a way to improve them.
but not this time.
not when it comes to you and his son — Lucien.
because your heart wasn't the only one to be shattered that day.
no.
lucien's heart was a victim, too.
so, from that moment, everything that helion did was to protect you and lucien.
to make sure that you felt safe, that you had space and time to heal.
azriel's banishment wasn't the only consequence from the events of that day.
that day also cost the alliance between the day court and the night court, and when the alliance fell apart, so did helion and rhysand's friendship.
but azriel wasn't the only one to blame for all of this.
elain archeron was guilty, too.
she, too, was banished from the day court and forbidden to contact lucien in any way.
but unlike azriel, elain's actions cause far more consequences than his. 
the autumn court followed the same decisions as the day court.
the banishment of azriel and elain and the prohibition of any kind of contact with lucien.
eris, now the new high lord of the autumn court after beron's death, didn't take lightly to what happened to his little brother. 
the two of them had reconnected after eris became high lord.
they talked through everything that had happened in the last centuries, made peace with their past, and decided to move forward together.
now, the brothers were inseparable and had the kind of relationship they had always wanted since they were younger.
so when eris heard what had happened, he considered those actions as a personal attack. 
he went as far as to offer lucien the opportunity to choose the blood duel, which his little brother refused, saying that all of this had already caused enough pain.
eris wasn't angry just because of lucien.
he was angry because of you, too.
you were the first person to give him the benefit of the doubt, the first one to not judge him and unlike the others you tried to get to know him, to be his friend and he let you. 
6ou were the first one to know the real eris, to know what he hid behind the mask.
therefore, you had a special place in his heart. even if you didn't share the same blood, you were part of his family.
but that didn't stop with day and autumn. spring joined them, too. 
despite everything that happened and the fact that they were still working on their friendship, tamlin's loyalty remained with lucien.
spring had been lucien's home for decades, and with that came a brotherhood between the two of them. 
needless to mention that jurian and vassa's loyalties also remained with lucien.
to everyone outside the situation, all of this may seem overreacted and exaggerated.
but to everyone involved, it's not.
after all, you and lucien almost died.
that's what happens when a mating bond is rejected.
•••
azriel couldn't believe things had turned out this way.
he was so sure that the cauldron was wrong, that he belonged with Elain.
three sisters for three brothers.
how more poetic could it be?
there were signals everywhere.
feyre with rhysand.
nesta with cassian.
elain with him.
elain wouldn't go close to lucien or talk to him, but she would sit next to him whether during dinners or on the couch, she would talk to him, and requested his company when she went to the garden or to the city.
even his shadows disappeared every time he was with her.
weren't those signals clear enough?
they were meant to be.
the cauldron was wrong. 
so azriel did what he thought was right.
he rejected the mating bond with you, and elain did the same with lucien. 
he never thought that the rejection of the bond would've almost cost your life.
that memory still gave him nightmares to this day.
how pale you turned, how you sank to your knees with your hand pressed against your chest, tears running free down your cheeks and muffled screams leaving your lips.
how much pain you had suffered and how he had been the cause of it.
how once, not that long ago, he had been the reason for your smiles, laughs, and giggles.
but that memory wasn't his.
it was rhysand's.
rhys, who had to go through your mind shields, and knock you unconscious so the pain would stop and that memory led him to another memory. 
the memory of that day and the things that had followed after he shattered your heart.
•••
azriel wasn't there the moment it happened.
no, he was too busy kissing elain after admitting how much they craved each other. 
and while he kissed elain, he felt that golden thread tying the two of you breaking and start slowly to disappear.
nothing could have prepared him for that last memory of you when he and elain were summoned to the river house a few hours later.
rhys had shown him not as a courtesy but as a lesson of how much his actions can affect others.
but you weren't just some other.
you were his mate — former mate.
azriel made a move to go find you.
he needed to explain it to you, and he needed you to understand, but you were already gone.
rhys told him that after you regained consciousness, lucien took you with him back to day court. 
lucien.
who you had become instantly friends with since the male's arrival in velaris.
you had treated him just like you were when you moved to the night court.
you showed him the city, the good restaurants and the best pastries, and also told him about Helion, now that he knew the high lord was his father and he was his heir.
you wanted him to feel like home, just like you did. 
when Azriel made his intentions clear to go to day and find you, rhys showed him the letter helion had sent.
the one that forbidden him from seeing you and from trying to contact you in any way.
the one that also had the same indications to elain regarding lucien.
and that if any of them tried to disobey his orders, there would be consequences.
azriel knew of protective the male was of you and that he would do anything to protect his family, so for a split second, azriel found himself fearing the high lord. 
rhysand also ordered them to stay away from the two of you, stating that they had already created enough problems and the night court could not afford a war with day. 
after they left his office, rhys sat down on his chair, trying to think how he was gonna solve this.
his mind kept going back to you and lucien. 
he was there when lucien came for you.
the red headed male was also pale and every few minutes, his hand would press to his chest in pain, his eyes were still red, probably from the tears he had shed.
rhys knew that Helion's letter wouldn't be the only one he would receive that day.
and like he was right, three more letters arrived during it.
first from autumn, then spring and the last one from the band of exiles. 
rhys passed a hand through his black hair and released a long sigh.
azriel and elain actions had just cost four allies to the night court.
•••
when you and lucien arrived in day, helion almost fell to his knees at your sight.
you were in lucien's arms, your eyes half open with tears still following down your cheeks.
one of your hands was against your chest, rubbing small circles in a way of trying to get rid of the pain.
lucien wasn't much better.
helion headed towards you and started examining you for injuries, but he found nothing.
when confusion made his way to his features, Lucien told him everything.
the confusion was replaced by anger, but the anger wasn't just directed towards the shadowsinger and the middle archeron sister.
some of it was towards himself. 
towards himself, because seeing you like that, helion felt that he had broken the promise he made to your dad and that this was his fault.
without giving time for any more thoughts to fill his mind, helion led lucien to your room, where the heir laid you on the bed.
you had fallen asleep in his arms with your cheeks still stained. 
lucien sat on the chair by your desk that was placed in front of your bed and said to Helion that he would stay with you.
helion gave him a firm nod, remembering that lucien didn't have a room yet in his palace, but he was about to fix that.
helion didn't waste any time after making sure that the two of you were okay for now. 
he called two of his servants to prepare a room for the young heir and went straight to his office where he wrote the letter and sent it to rhysand.
the next week's were a complicated ones but showed that time was the best healer. 
you no longer spend the days locked in your room alone.
you started to eat properly again and went back to work.
day by day, you were smiling more, sometimes making jokes.
lucien improved as well.
he decided to live in the day court for the time being and took his place as helion's second in command.
his relationship with helion was also getting stronger over time.
they were making up for the lost time.
but that wasn't the only thing that changed. your relationship with lucien also changed.
you got closer than ever, due to the fact you were the only ones who knew what the other was going through.
you found comfort in each other's presence and started spending more time together to the point where you became each other's favorite person. 
little by little, you start helping each other heal.
you started putting back together the pieces that had been broken, and the pain started slowly fading until the day that it didn't hurt anymore.
you two mended your hearts and souls, and for the first time, in a long time, you were full again.
your friendship grew, and so did your feelings for each other.
•••
azriel couldn't believe how wrong he had been.
because the cauldron wasn't wrong, it had never been wrong. 
he was the one who was wrong — right from the beginning.
he and elain had tried a relationship after yours and lucien's departure.
it worked for six months until it didn't.
azriel questioned himself why the relationship was starting to fail and why being with elain was starting to feel wrong.
it didn't take him too long to understand the reason. It was because she wasn't you.
he found out that the reason his shadows disappear every time he was with elain wasn't because they were destined but because they were with you. 
his shadows would leave him and elain to go find you, like they were stating that they wouldn't betray you, that they chose you.
on the day he broke up with elain, he found his shadows in your old room, which once was filled with colors, books, paintings, and light, and now was empty, dusty, and dark.
the shadows were swimming around your starfall dress — the one you wore on the day your bond had snapped.
the sight of the dress was painful, and he understood why it had been left behind.
azriel had tried to apologize.
he flew to day court and around the palace trying to find you but he never did and the next day helion sent a letter with his and elain's banishment, making autumn and spring to make the same decision. 
he understood why.
they were trying to protect you and lucien, and even though he didn't have the right, he just wanted to know if you were okay.
he asked rhys several times if he knew something about you, and thys revealed to him that you weren't talking to him or the other members of the inner circle either.
you had stated that it was too early and still very painful. 
so they respected your decision and kept their distance. 
that had caused azriel's guilt to grow even more.
how he wished for nesta to still have her powers so he could go back in time and repair all of this.
the light of the sun broke his thoughts.
the sun was finally making its appearance in the orange and yellow sky. 
azriel released a long breath and looked at the clock perched on his bedroom wall. 
the morning was here, and he was only two hours away from seeing you.
•••
the inner circle stood at the entrance of the day court palace. 
helion had lifted the banishment for this meeting with yours and lucien consent.
both of you said that it had been a long time and that the past should stay in the past, but that didn't mean you would be accepting any apologies today.
koschei was on the rise again, and prythian needed to come together once more.
right now, your past didn't matter.
the doors swung open, and the inner circle made their way inside.
a servant led them to the conference room located in the same hallway as helion's office on the first floor of the palace.
they sat at the marble table while the servant informed them, "the high lord will be here in a few minutes."
receiving a nod and a 'thank you' from rhysand, the servant left.
rhys started, "y/n and lucien will also be in this meeting. now, helion was nice enough to allow the two of you back here, so do not ruin this."
he finished while looking at azriel and elain, making them both nod their heads.
helion entered the room, and the inner circle raised from their seats.
the high lord of the day court made his way to the head of the table.
he turned to the side where rhys and his inner circle stood, offering his hand to rhys to shake it.
taken by surprise, rhys needed a few seconds to process what was happening before accepting his hand.
once they had shaken hands, everyone returned to their seats, but not before helion sent a disapproving look in azriel's and elain's direction.
a few minutes into the meeting, the door to the conference room opened again.
and there you were. 
you were dressed in day attire. a beautiful white dress that hugged your body, with your hair loosen and golden jewelry adorned your neck and ears.
lucien was by your side also wearing day attire, one that matched helion's, with your hand in his.
the inner circle held their breaths at your sight.
it had been ten years, but all the memories came flashing back to them. 
you looked the same, but when you two approached the table, that's when they saw it and shock spread all over their faces.
azriel couldn't believe what he was seeing.
he didn't know what he was expecting to see at this meeting, but it wasn't this.
it wasn't the golden ring that you and lucien had matching on your left hands informing him that you were married that shocked him.
it was the small and round belly that your free hand was resting on and the sweet vanilla scent that was filling the air — the scent of yours and lucien's baby. 
"apologies for our delay," lucien started, then looking in your direction with a smile continued "someone had a big appetite this morning," he ended with a laugh.
you looked at his gaze, a genuine smile on your lips "shut up," you whispered.
lucien grabs the back of your chair, pulling it to give you enough space to sit. "thank you, my love."
you said while watching him take the seat at your right, making you stay seated between him and Helion.
for the first time since you entered the room, you looked at the people in front of you. "night court," you greeted with a small smile. 
feyre was the first to say, "congratulations, y/n and lucien." 
lucien spoke this time. "thank you, feyre." he rested his hand on your belly.
"how far long are you?" rhysand's voice reached your ears.
looking in his direction, you answered, "23 weeks. lucien thinks it's a girl, but i think it's a boy," you added, making rhys smile.
"i always took you for a boy mom." amren's voice surprised you and couldn't help but smile at her words.
"congratulations to you two. the mother knows you deserve it." she finished with a genuine smile.
lucien looked at azriel and elain before directing his eyes to the ancient one "yes, we do. thank you, amren."
lucien paused for a second before turning in helion's direction and continuing. “let's not keep holding on to the meeting. please go on, father." 
helion proceeded with the meeting, but azriel didn't listen to a word that was said.
he couldn't tear his eyes from you and lucien. 
there was no doubt of the love you two shared, not when it was written in both of your eyes.
he didn't miss Lucien caresing your belly and pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, passing his thumb over your jaw, and kissing your cheek after.
or how you rested your right hand on top of his on your belly while your left passed through his long red hair before resting around his shoulders and your smile while doing it.
what bigger proof did he need of your love if not for the baby you were carrying?
lucien's baby, he kept telling himself.
not his.
lucien's.
jealousy invaded his body, but there was nothing he could do.
he made his decision ten years ago, and now he had to live with it.
lost in his thoughts, he only realized the meeting was over when everyone started standing.
rhys and helion were finishing talking, and when the doors opened one more time, eris vanserra walked in with a little ginger boy in his arms.
he couldn't be more than five years old.
he looked exactly like lucien, except for his eyes — those were yours. 
azriel's heart sank, and it sank even more a few seconds later, when the little boy spotted you and lucien.
you already had a baby and you were about to have your second.
with a big smile appearing on his sweet face, the little boy almost shouted, "mommy! daddy!"
the boy jumped from his uncle's arms and ran to you.
you bend down and gather the happy boy in your arms before standing again and passing a hand through his ginger curls and saying, "hi, baby."
you peppered his face with kisses, making him laugh even more. "i thought you were having fun with your uncle," you said, looking at your brother in law.
your son pouted “uncle eris doesn't know how to play. he only wants to do the boring stuff, mommy.”
everyone in the room chuckled. eris gasped with fake hurt “excuse me?”
“elijah.” lucien chuckled and said to your son after joining your side “don't be rude to your uncle.” 
“but it’s the truth, daddy.” elijah hid his face on your neck. 
eris approached the little family with a smile directed to his nephew. "sorry. i tried to keep him entertained, but he just kept asking about you two." 
lucien noticed his older brother had paint and glitter on his white shirt and laughed at the thought of his son giving him a hard time before exclaiming, "it's alright, brother. we were about to leave anyway." 
the little boy settled in your arms and rested his head against yours, lucien started rubbing his back.
when the little boy caught the sight of his grandfather, he asked before anyone could stop him "grandpa, how was the meeting with the idiots from the night court?" 
the room went quiet, and a few gasps escaped.
at your son's words, you turned to look at Helion, now on mom's mood. "helion! how many times do we have to tell you not to speak like that in front of him?" 
the room erupted in laughter at your statement. 
the air became lighter, and helion put his hands in surrender, promising you that it wouldn't happen again. 
you gave him an incredulous look, saying that you didn't believe him.
your son wrapped his tiny arms around your neck and rested his head on your shoulder with a yawn leaving his lips. 
you rubbed your son's back while speaking to him. "C'mon, elijah. let's leave before your grandfather comes up with a new bad word for you to learn." 
“bad grandpa” your son agreed with you while earning new chuckles from the night court. 
even though he was trying to hold his smile, azriel failed. your son was too adorable.
you turned your gaze to the inner circle and gave them a smile. "it was good to see you all." 
"you too, y/n. i missed you." cassian replied.
your smile stretched before telling him, "i missed you too, cass." 
the nickname made his heart ache — maybe there's still a chance for you to reconnect.
you turned to look behind you, meeting your husband's eyes "you're coming, lu?" 
a pink blush made its way to lucien's cheeks "of course, my love."
the heir looked at his father, "we'll see you at dinner, father. night court." he said, giving the inner circle a small nod before joining you and wrapping his arm around your waist and giving a kiss to your now sleeping son.
amren spoke again “see i told you were a boy mom.”
“you're right. if this baby happens to be a boy as well, i'm gonna be in trouble.” you replied with an arm holding your son and while the other made its way to your belly.
“no, you're not. you're gonna be great.” nesta spoke, a genuine smile on her lips “we already can see you are.” she gestured to the little boy sleeping in your arms. 
“thank you, nes.” you were grateful for her words.
on your way out, you met azriel's eyes, but you couldn't find the words, so you simply gave him a nod with a small smile, and azriel returned the gesture.
when the door closed, amren was the first to break the silence "well, the mother has a sense of humor." 
everyone turned to look at her, but she focused her gaze on azriel and elain.
"you rejected them because you believed you belonged with one another only for your relationship to fail six months later. and now," she released a laugh, "your former mates found their way towards each other. fell in love, got married, have a son, and have another baby on the way. ironic isn't it?" she said with the feline smile returning to her lips. 
it was helion who spoke next, amusement all over his face, "indeed. i guess karma is a bitch."
he sent a disapproving look one more time in the direction of the two people who almost cost him his family before exiting the room.
amren's and Helion's words stung, but azriel knew it was nothing but the truth. He realized in that moment that despite your life now and how things turned out, you would never forgive him.
he had lost you forever, and now he had to live with regret for the rest of his life.
after all, you were no longer his. 
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a/n: thank you for reading! i'm thinking in making a general taglist so if you wish to be added let me know.
the beautiful dividers belong to @cafekitsune
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dramaticals · 11 months ago
Text
did you hear what i said?
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pairing: theodore nott x gryffindor reader
summary: after a year of secretly dating, theo breaks things off when classes start up again. it's now christmas eve and he's back with a figurative box of regret / requested by anonymous.
author's note: angst! there will be a part two with fluff, but i just needed to get this out since i've been writing this for too long. (please) feel free to leave angsty requests in my inbox because this is the genre that gets my gears going! but i make no promises on resolutions and happy endings ♡
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"You look happier."
Theodore stands in front of the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, his hands shoved into his pockets. His presence garners murmurs all around, even though the Great Hall was emptier than usual for the holidays. The sight of him makes your breath catch. It's been three months since you last spoke to him, but the memory of that night resurfaces, ripping open the wound on your healing heart.
It was back in September.
Theo had passed you a note in Potions, asking you to meet him in the Astronomy Tower after dark. It wasn't a peculiar ask, so you didn't think much of it at the time. The Astronomy Tower had become your and Theo's spot. A quiet place for the two of you to just exist—no interruptions and no expectations from the outside world. Your house rivalry was nothing in that tower. It was just you and Theo.
The two of you would spend hours hiding there, often cuddled on top of a lush blanket you had hidden nearby. You'd talk about anything and everything with him, from learning about each other's likes and dislikes to venting about classes and classmates. On nights where the two of you favoured serenity, it was never unpleasant. You'd embrace the quiet, exchanging sweet kisses all the while enjoying the comfort and protection of his arms.
That night in September was different, though. You sensed it the minute you ascended the steps to see Theo standing stiffly by the railing, his gaze concentrating on a bird on the horizon.
Theo didn't even turn to face you—acknowledge you—before he was muttering the words that shattered your heart into pieces.
"I'm over this." Theo said, his tone void of any emotion. His hand clutched onto the railing so tightly that his knuckles were pale.
Stunned silence fell over you. You just looked at him with a puzzled expression.
"Did you hear what I said?" Theo turned to you then, and you could see the pained expression on his features. But then something shifted, and his expression turned cold. "I'm breaking up with you."
His words on their own were harsh, but the inflection on each syllable felt like he was personally twisting a serrated knife into your heart.
"I don't understand." You said. "Why? What did I—"
"I feel like you're getting attached, and I think we've run our course." Theo interrupted. His eyes, the ones you became so accustomed to, were dark and flooded with an expression even you weren't familiar with. Theo scoffed. "You didn't actually think we'd last, did you?"
Maybe it was the naive and hopeless romantic in you, but you truly believed you would. House rivalries, judgemental friends, and family expectations were merely obstacles the two of you would deal with together. You just felt so strongly about him, and you were certain he felt the same about you.
"Did you hear what I said?" The Theodore standing in front of you jerks you back to the present.
You blink, and you nearly drop your fork.
"I heard you," you say firmly, returning your attention back to the half-eaten plate in front of you. You make yourself look busy and uncaring (as much as you could with food and a full stomach), as if Theodore's sudden presence had no effect on you.
Theodore shifts in his spot, his eyes darting to the empty seat in front of you, silently contemplating whether he should take it or cut his losses and leave. Reluctantly, he settles on the former. This makes you tense, your lips pursing as he sits. It doesn't help that you were highly attentive to the whispers; your classmates were surely speculating why Theodore Nott would be choosing the company of a muggle-born on Christmas Eve. You put down your fork, bring your gaze to his, and let out an exhausted breath.
"Nott, what do you want?"
Hearing his last name from you makes his jaw clench. It was cold and formal, stripped of any history you two shared.
"Just wanted to know if you were as happy as you looked."
"You have no right to that type of information anymore."
"Humour me."
You glare at him. Theodore looks back at you with such shy tenderness that your gaze softens slightly.
Am I happy? you think.
Some days, sure. But most days, you find yourself wandering back to that dreadful night in September. Even after all these months, you still wonder if you had just said something different or fought back instead of taking it, maybe you and Theo would still be together.
It was why Ginny, the only poor soul who was aware of your relationship with Theo, had set you up with Michael Corner, a cute Ravenclaw boy in your year. He was smart, funny, and occasionally sweet, but he wasn't Theodore Nott.
Still, you persisted. You allowed yourself to indulge in the idea of being with Michael because the brooding Slytherin boy who had your heart had made his choice. You went on a few dates with Michael; he'd walk you to class, sit with you during Quidditch matches, and sometimes—when he was feeling courageous—he'd plant a kiss on your lips in the middle of the bustling corridor.
"I am." You lie, and you bite down on the insides of your cheeks. What good would it do to admit you weren't, especially to the cause of your turmoil?
Theodore watches you, practically analyzing your features. He doesn't have to say anything for you to know he didn't believe you, and you hated that—hated him, for having been so attentive to you that your tells were obvious.
"You are?" Theodore questions.
"That's what I said, didn't I?"
"I think you and I have a habit of saying things we don't mean."
His careful words and wistful gaze make you flush with embarrassment and anger. To this day, you still weren't sure why Theo had broken things off with you, and it was something that had kept you up countless nights. Through gritted teeth and cheeks stinging with remembered hurt, you say, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means," Theodore starts, his eyes flickering around to ensure no one was listening in. While a few lingering glances were sent your way, everyone was spread out far enough that it'd be hard to eavesdrop. He drops his voice anyway. "I shouldn't have said what I did that night. I didn't mean it. I don't mean it."
The anger bubbling in the pit of your stomach erupts, your eyes blazing. "Is this some sick game to you? It's been three months, Theodore. I spent three months crying over you and wondering what the hell I did to you to be so bloody cruel. And now when I'm finally ready to move on from you, you come back to tell me you... you didn't mean it?" The last words leave a dirty, salty taste in your mouth.
"No, no," Theodore shakes his head, swallowing thickly as you recounted the months of hell. He hadn't been doing any better either, but Theo was generally good at hiding his afflictions. Numbing the pain with weed and alcohol were among his favourite remedies. "It's not a game. It was never a game. You should know me well enough to know that I would never mean any of the things I said."
"Know you?" You almost laugh. You had replayed the breakup and the weeks leading up to it in your mind countless times, trying to make sense of the bullshit non-reason he had given when he broke up with you but nothing made sense. The whole thing made you spiral, questioning everything that had ever happened between you two. "I'm actually convinced I never really knew you, because the guy I knew would never have done that to me."
Having had enough of the conversation, you get up, leaving your half-eaten plate and a pained Theodore at the Gryffindor table. You're almost past the door of the Great Hall when Theo, as a last-ditch effort, grabs a hold of your wrist, hauling you to a stop. You let out a small huff and turn to face him.
"Meet me in the Astronomy Tower after dark." Theodore says softly, almost pleadingly. He makes a conscious effort to ignore all the prying eyes that turned.
"Because that worked out so well for me last time."
"Just—please. If you want to continue never speaking to each other again after that, then fine. But at least let me explain."
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You had every intention of ignoring Theodore’s request. He didn’t deserve a chance to explain—the statute of limitations for explaining ended months ago. And yet, you found yourself sneaking out of the Gryffindor common room and up to the Astronomy Tower, inebriated by the countless what-ifs and string of memories: Theo sneaking a kiss on your lips as everyone turned to view whatever Hagrid had for Care of Magical Creatures, Theo resting his hand on your thigh during potions, Theo winking at you as you watched him play Quidditch.
“You’re here.” Theodore says, just as you reach the top of the staircase. He was sitting by the railing.
“I am,” you say as you walk toward him reluctantly. You settle next to him.
Theodore looks at you, and it looks like he’s about to say something, but then he shuts his eyes, shakes his head, and sighs.
You’ve never seen him at a loss for words. He was intentionally silent, sure, but his quick wit never failed him.
“I’ve regretted that night every day, you know.” He speaks up, his solemn eyes trained on yours. “I replay it over and over.”
Theodore’s gaze is unrelenting, brimming with seriousness and a vulnerability that you haven’t seen before. You tear your gaze away from his because the more he talks and looks at you like this, the more you find it hard to breathe.
“Then why do it? Why say those things?” You manage to ask.
Theodore’s jaw clenches. “Lesser of two evils.”
When you look at him with a confused expression, he continues, “It was better to lose you on those terms than to lose you completely.”
Silence falls on both of you, filling the space like a thick fog.
“I lost my mom when I was seven.” Theodore explains, his eyes darkening. “A freak accident.”
Out of the year you and Theo dated in secret, he had rarely mentioned his mom. And if he did, it was small tidbits—precious memories. Regardless of how small and insignificant the memory would seem to others, you gathered how important Theo’s mom was to him. Underneath Theo’s stoic expressions and calculating demeanour was a softness to Theo that could only be accredited to his mom.
“She got caught in the crossfire between some death eaters.” Theodore says, his expression pained. He drops his gaze now, but you keep your eyes on him. There’s a mixture of grief and anger that flashes across his features, and it takes everything in you to hold yourself back from reaching for him. To comfort him.
“It took me years to get over it. I don’t even think I am yet—I’m still angry at my father for allowing this shit into our lives and for continuing to do it.” Theodore says, letting out an exasperated breath. You knew what everyone else knew about Theo’s father—he was a blood purist, rumoured to be loyal to you-know-who. He’d hate you the moment he’d find out you were muggle-born.
Theo meets your gaze now, and it’s your turn to feel winded. It was like you were looking at your Theo again. The sweet, sarcastic, pain-in-your-ass-but-in-a-good-way Theo. “I lost my mom, who meant the world to me, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it if I lost you too. So I pushed you away. I figured it was best to cut our losses before I pulled you into something you had no reason being in. Before I lost you permanently.”
“What’s changed?” You ask, shaking your head. His words were hard to process, but the pieces of the last few months were beginning to click into place. “I’m still me, and last I heard, your dad was still your dad.”
“I realized that, in a way, I was kind of like my dad.”
“What?”
“I mean,” Theo says. “My dad never gave any of us a choice. Not me, and not my mom. We always had to go along with him and deal with the consequences of his actions. I took a choice away from you, and you just had to deal with it. I don’t want to do that anymore. I still think I did it for the right reasons, but I regret it. I want to be with you. I should have told you what I was worried about—told you about the risks of being with me, so we could make a decision together.”
Together.
That’s all you wanted. You were more than willing to have dealt with any obstacle that was thrown your way, so long as you had Theo by your side.
But that was three months ago. And while his words brought goosebumps, butterflies, and heart palpitations, they also brought a slew of conflicting feelings. You understood why he broke things off now, and although his reasoning was well-intended, it didn’t excuse the fact that you had spent the last three months in a state of despair and heartbreak. You didn’t eat as much, your grades dropped, and you couldn’t even look at him until recently in fear of tears and the overwhelming rush of memories.
“So?”
“Theo,” you say softly. Your eyes search his face.
There’s a ghost of a smile on his lips at the sound of his name. Not Theodore, not Nott. Theo.
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
He exhales sharply at your response, and his expression shifts as he turns to face the horizon. He wanted you to say it was worth the risk and that you wanted to be with him as much as he did. He wanted you to forgive him for what he did to you. “It’s fine.”
“No—I just... I need to think.” You say quickly. Your heart was screaming for him, but your brain was weary. And if the past three months taught you anything, it was that you needed to act with your brain and not your heart. “I just need time. This was a lot to process.”
“Right, of course.” Theo says with a curt nod. He turns to you again, offering a weak smile. It was his heart’s turn to break. “Well, thanks for coming tonight and letting me explain. I guess, just let me know.”
You watch him stand, brush the dirt off his robes, and turn away. Just as he reaches the staircase back down, he looks back at you. Your eyes catch his gorgeous arctic eyes, your cheeks burning and your heart racing.
"Merry Christmas, by the way." Theo says before he descends down the stairs.
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youreverydayfangirl · 22 days ago
Text
LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO
pairing: max verstappen x singer reader
summary: the one where she's gone radio silent, everyone settles down and someone begins to plot revenge
warning: online hate, mentions of cheating
a/n: i thought i should switch between real life and online so i could feed you guys more
face claim: sabrina carpenter
f1 masterlist
main masterilst
series masterlist
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y/nsprivate has posted
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liked by thatoneartgirlalex, keekslikestospammmm and 18 others
y/nsprivate healing with my girls
tagged: thatoneartgirlalex, keekslikestospamm
thatoneartgirlalex what are friends for???
-> y/nsprivate I THOUGH JUST BEING HOT TBH
keekslikestospammmm and you better get your cute but downstairs cause we're going out
-> y/nsprivate OKAYY GIVE ME TWO SECONDS
leosfather GO QUEEN
-> y/nsprivate alex is training you i see
livbereallydumb SMASH SMASH SMASH
-> y/nsprivate me whenever i see you
itssabrinaaa YOU DON'T NEED NO TINY DICK MAN AND SKANKY FRIEND
-> y/nsprivate 😭😭😭
________________
Y/n felt a small smile creep up across her face as she went to turn off her phone. She looked up at the warm sun which had begun to set, casting a golden glow along the beach infront of her. The peaceful quiet of the beach was a sharp contrast to the chaos and heartache she had left behind. Still, it had been hard to stay in the moment and she often found her mind drifting back to everything that had happened. Something that seemed to play over and over in her head. Although it seemed everyone else had moved on.
She'd barely touched her phone, forced to reinvent herself and tune out what others had kept saying about her. The whispers, the hate and the betrayal had gone with a swipe of her finger. But the sting of it lingered, a wound that refused to heal.
She quickly grabbed her stuff and shoved it in the bag which lay beside her feet as her mind went to the two girls who were currently waiting in the lobby. They had been rocks for her through this whole ordeal. The trip was supposed to be a fresh start for y/n, a place to forget, but somethings weren't so easily buried.
Y/n hadn't been able to fully trust anyone since exbsf had turned her life upside down. The breakup, the voice recording, it was all too perfect.
Revenge is what had kept circling through Y/ns mind over the past few months. A lot of people had hurt her, turned against her, but their was one person specifically that Y/n kept thinking about. Maybe she wasn’t healing just yet. Maybe she was plotting her rise.
y/nsprivate has posted
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y/nsprivate not even sad anymore guys, just really mad tbh
tagged: thatoneartgirlalex, keekslikestospamm
thatoneartgirlalex AND AS YOU SHOULD YOU CLOCK EM
-> y/nsprivate you know i will
keekslikestospamm NEW SONG YOU BETTER SHOW US SOON
-> y/nsprivate trust me i will
________________
Y/n found her self sitting infront of the piano for the first time since everything had come out. She hadn't wanted to, because that would mean that it was real.
But after pushing from both Alex and Kika, the girl finally felt like she was in a spot were she could poor out her feelings. But something felt different this time, she had never felt this angry before.
She sat at her desk, the sunset infront of her casted a shadow across her face. Her notebook was open, was scribbled sharply expressing her inner turmoil. She tapped her pen on her desk, staring at the page infront of her, one line sticking out specifically.
All I think about is karma.
exbsf & landonorris have posted
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liked by landonorris, f1gossip and 1, 432, 749 others
exbsf 6 months with you <3
tagged: landonorris
landonorris my gorgeous girl
-> exbsf your too cute
user1 I CANT BELIEVE THEYVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 6 MONTHS OMG
user2 parents frfr
liked by creator
user3 pov its been 5 months since y/n disappeared 😭
-> user4 GOOD RIDDANCE
y/nsprivate has posted
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liked by thatoneartgirlalex, keekslikestospammmm and 18 others
y/nsprivate smiling more
tagged: thatoneartgirlalex, keekslikestospammmm
thatoneartgirlalex and happy to see it
-> y/nsprivate stop i love you so much
keekslikestospammmm i can still through hands though right?
-> y/nsprivate KEEKS NO
leosfather as your honorary big brother i could not be prouder to see how much you've grown as a person
-> y/nsprivate CHARLIE STOP
livbereallydumb I JUST WANNA GIVE YOU A BIG HUG
-> y/nsprivate you saw me yesterday....
itssabrinaaa livbereallydumb wanna come to portofino with me for no specific reason
-> livbereallydumb already on the flight babes
-> y/nsprivate YOU GUYS BETTER NOT BE KIDDING RIGHT NOW ASSHHH
-> itssabrinaaa SUPRISE
-> livbereallydumb we wanted to make it a bigger thing then realised we dont really know where to go and we dont speak italian
-> itssabrinaaa didnt think that one through 100%
-> y/nsprivate 😭😭😭
TWO WEEKS LATER
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________________
im trying to make the parts longer cause i feel like there too short
also do you guys like the switch i feel like i wanna give you guys more than just short SMAU chpaters
_________________
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hgfictionwriter · 1 month ago
Text
Discovery: Part Five - First Time
Jessie Fleming x Reader
Summary: With the truth revealed, Jessie and you now have a chance to fully build an authentic, honest relationship. And maybe, the physical intimacy that's plagued your relationship - and Jessie's past - can finally be healed.
Warnings: G!P content. First time; oral (J receiving; R receiving); body image issues; lingering internal conflicts and themes of rejection; language.
A/N: This is SO long. I just got carried away - there was so much I felt would be going through Jessie's mind that I couldn't just skip over during their first time together, combined with all of the previous baggage. It felt much more natural to pace it this way.
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"So, if I ask you to spend the night, do you think you would?"
Jessie couldn't believe the contrast between this morning and now. She'd come over to your apartment with absolute certainty that this would be the end; she'd maybe get to hold you once more and then it would be the inevitable goodbye.
Instead, here you were, cuddled into her on the couch, fingers of one hand intertwined with hers and her arm wrapped around your shoulder. Rather than a painful and heavy goodbye, you'd sat together for hours; conversation renewed, deeper, sincerer, and you were asking her to stay.
Jessie smiled at you.
"I'd love to," she told you before giving a quiet, bashful laugh. "If you asked, that is."
You chuckled and nudged her with your shoulder. "Well I'm asking."
"Then I'd love to stay," Jessie replied with a resolute nod.
"Now that I know why you were so hesitant to spend the night before," you told her with a smirk, leaving Jessie in awe that you could be so relaxed about this and that things felt so natural between you.
While Jessie's mind had been wrought with questions and worries for months, now the only question that remained was, 'What took her so long to tell you?'
You fidgeted slightly and scratched at your temple, eyes cast downward momentarily before you looked up at her.
"Just as before, even more-so now, actually, you're welcome to sleep in the bed. I-I'd like you to." A beat passed and you rushed on. "But only if you want to."
Jessie's heart felt like it was lodged in her throat, but in a good way. She would've never pictured this.
"Y-yeah," she managed to reply, voice almost wavering. "I'd like that."
You clearly were anticipating a decline, because your reaction was delayed and was one of momentary surprise before smiling broadly at her.
"Oh! Fantastic!" You said before shrinking into yourself slightly, seemingly embarrassed at your enthusiasm. Jessie found it adorable and kissed you. Your cheeks were burning pink when she pulled back. "You can, um, wear some of my clothes to bed. I'm sure I have something that'll fit."
"Sure, that sounds good," Jessie said as she gave your hand a reassuring squeeze.
Soon you led her into your room and dug through your drawers for some sleepwear for her. Jessie had been in your room a handful of times, but really only in passing. Given how physical aspects of your relationship had been so taboo prior, the bedroom had become unspoken, forbidden territory. She took this opportunity to look around and really take it in; all of your belongings, the way you had things arranged, all the things big and small that made it yours.
"These should work."
Jessie was pulled from her observations by your voice. She turned to you and gave you a belated smile as she took the items.
"Thank you."
Silence fell over you two, but it felt very different than ones previous. This time, Jessie wasn't scared.
"I know we've talked about a lot today, tonight, but I, um, just want to say again that I'm really grateful you told me everything," you said softly as you looked at her.
"Me too," Jessie returned with a gentle smile. "Again, I'm really sorry it took me so long. I can't tell you how amazing it is to have this openness with you and to be given another chance. I really do love you, and I'm so grateful that I can tell you that and to not have to hide."
You looked at her with the warmest eyes and reached out to gently take the clothes you'd just handed her and set them down on the bed. You took a step towards her, closing the space between you two and wrapped your arms around the back of her neck. Your waist pressed against her’s and Jessie inadvertently swallowed though she held your gaze.
"You shouldn't have had to hide in the first place," you said as you cupped her cheek. "Thank you for trusting me with this." Jessie nodded.
"I'm trusting you with this. My heart. My past. All sorts of things," she finished lightly, hoping for some levity but failing to come up with something witty. She settled for a silly smile that contrasted the weight of her words. You weren't fooled and continued to look at her in earnest. Jessie dropped her smile and allowed herself to sit in this moment with you instead.
Soon your lips were on hers in a slow, deep kiss. Instead of tensing up and coaching herself through it, she finally gave herself permission to relax into your kiss.
Her eyes fluttered open belatedly when you subtly pulled back from the kiss. She looked to you with mild confusion only to see a soft smile crossing your lips. You caressed the back of her neck briefly before kissing her again even deeper. Jessie barely managed to hold back a moan. She tightened her arm around your waist, pulling you closer.
That small act of confirmation seemed to spark something in you. Suddenly, your fingers were running through her hair and you kissed her harder.
It didn't take much for Jessie to feel the telltale signs of her cock starting to stiffen. You were pressed flush up against her - her movements stilled and she shifted her hips back slightly to create space.
"You don't have to," you said slightly breathless as you pulled back just enough to look at her. A moment passed and you shook your head subtly. "I don't want you to."
Jessie inadvertently swallowed. She searched your eyes, a stubborn hesitancy and doubt still lingering in the back of her mind. You caressed her cheek with your thumb and it quieted her thoughts. She pulled you close to her once more and rest her forehead against yours.
"I told you I find you very attractive," she said in a low voice with a smirk. "So much so that it's been a problem."
She saw you bite the inside of your lip.
"I don't see a problem here," you affirmed before giving a smirk of your own. "I like it."
You kissed her again and though Jessie wanted nothing more than to reciprocate, she had to ask once more.
"Are you sure? I mean - you weren't anticipating...this," Jessie finished with a near mumble as she glanced down between you purposefully before looking at you again. "And you said you preferred a strap."
You blushed, dropping eye contact, but caressed the side of her neck still.
"Well, at that time I didn't exactly know that you had anything more than a strap," you said sheepishly before forcing yourself to look up at her. This time, you spoke assuredly.
"And you're right that I wasn't anticipating this. But, I love you. And this," you gave a look mirroring Jessie's a moment ago, "is part of you, which means, I'm all for it." You gave a slight shrug. "And, you know, it's pretty sexy. Knowing...feeling, or seeing, what effect I might have on you." You finished with a shy chuckle. "I'm not upset about it. Let's put it that way."
Some other girls had made fun of her for visibly being aroused, but there was nothing malicious about your reaction. In fact, your reaction was far from it. She smiled gratefully and nodded.
"Okay. Well, I'm glad. And, um, I'm sorry in advance if there are moments - like this - where I get a little too...excited. I don't mean to ruin a moment or anything," Jessie explained as she glanced back down at the slight bulge in her pants - it wasn't anything too overt right now, but if you two carried on it certainly would be.
"You don't need to apologize," you said, mildly chiding her. "I just told you I like it." You slowed, cupping her face once more and speaking softly. "I like it," you repeated.
Any lingering concerns were snuffed out as you began kissing her once more. Slow and patient at first, before deepening. She wrapped her arms around you fully and met your kisses with equal, growing passion. Your hands began to wander down her back and after a moment of hesitation, Jessie allowed her hands to explore as well.
What was an initial arousal was now becoming full-on as your hands played with the hem of her shirt, your fingers grazing ever so lightly against her skin, and when she heard you faintly moan into your kiss, there was zero chance of her hiding the way her cock now strained fully against her boxers and pants.
When you didn't pull away, and instead pulled yourself closer to her, her fingers dug into the small of your back through your shirt, pulling another muffled moan from you.
Jessie opened her eyes, blinking rapidly as she gently broke off the kiss, only now realizing she was short of breath.
"Sorry," she breathed. You frowned at her in confusion.
"What for?"
She frowned in return as she tried to conjure up some coherent thoughts.
"I'm, um, getting carried away," she eventually managed to say.
"I'm not remotely bothered," you assured her. "I'm getting carried away as well, then, too," you added with a faint grin. You looked away briefly before resting your hands on the front of her chest and pushing upwards, your hands feeling their way up her neck and into her hair as you spoke. She nearly shivered.
"I know we just said today we'd take it slow," you looked away again, "but, um, we also don't have to."
Jessie swallowed, studying you intently. "I don't want to pressure you at all. I mean, I dropped a lot on you today. I'm very happy to go at whatever pace you set. I have no expectations."
You nodded, seemingly lost in your own thoughts.
"Mhmm. And, well, we've also been together for months. And...I'd be lying if I said I didn't want you. And, maybe, based on what I'm feeling right now...you might want me, too," you finished with a tentative, but hopeful look on your face.
Jessie blushed with a lopsided grin. "I think that's safe to say."
You both looked at each other, gauging one another and waiting for the other to make the first move. It was several seconds before you grabbed her by the shirt and pulled her in for another kiss, which she readily met.
Hands wandered even more ravenously this time and you were very subtly grinding yourself against her bulge and Jessie swallowed a moan that threatened to escape. She exhaled heavily and found herself pulling you tight against her, her hand now sneaking under your shirt and you moaned in approval.
Surprise flooded Jessie system as suddenly you were pushing her towards the bed, not breaking the kiss until you pushed her down on the edge. When she looked up at you, your eyes were dark with lust and her cock throbbed at the sight.
"Wh-" Jessie's question was cut off as you lowered yourself onto your knees in front of her, not dropping her gaze the entire time. You placed your hands on her thighs and moved your hands upward until your fingers snuck under her shirt to graze her abdomen.
"Is this okay?" You asked. Jessie could only nod, unable to find the words. You toyed with the hem of her shirt again. "Do you prefer clothes on or off for this?"
"I, um," Jessie stammered. "On, for now, I guess." She shook her head. “Wait, I should do stuff for you.” She went to switch places with you but you denied her.
“There’s time for that, too. I want to do this for you,” you said as your thumbs idly caressed her skin. Jessie let your words settle in and a slow smile formed across her lips. She nodded.
You smiled and began to massage her hips, your hands moving inwards until you started to unbutton her pants. She was absolutely aching with anticipation by now. Jessie's eyes were trained on you and she breathed through her lips as her mind tried to keep up with what was evolving.
"You're sure?" You asked one more time, fingers ready to unzip her pants. Jessie let out a breathy laugh.
"Yeah. I am. Um, if you are. You know you don't have to do anything, right?" You didn't break eye contact.
"I know. I want to do this. I want you," you stated and Jessie felt a flutter go through her entire body at the declaration. She frowned as you grew bashful. "I, um, haven't done this in a while though. So...bear with me. I apologize in advance," you finished with a sheepish laugh. Jessie frowned deeper.
"Don't apologize. At all. I-," she wracked her mind for the right words to say. "I'm positive it'll be great. You'll be great. I, um, just want to be with you. That's what's most important to me." You looked up at her from your spot on the floor between her legs and gave her a grateful smile. Your earlier comment caused Jessie's mind to start envisioning you in front of other people in a similar position. She didn't like it.
"And...we don't really need to talk about, you know, other times or people...at least right now," she added gently.
"Oh. Right," you said as you flushed pink. You sat back on your heels and cleared your throat before raising yourself up again and kneading her thighs. "Okay, well, what I mean is, feel free to tell me what you like...and tell me if you don't like what I'm doing."
Jessie felt a tightening in her throat and she forced a series of nods. "Okay, I will."
It probably shouldn't have been a big deal, but she was left in awe to some degree. Other girls didn't care what she liked or didn't like. It was about them - satisfying their curiosity or having a story to tell after. But that wasn't you at all.
She cleared her throat and went on. Now was not the time to get emotional.
"But please don't worry. You can see already that you're doing everything right," she said with a slight chuckle as she tucked your hair behind your ear and caressed your cheekbone with her thumb. "And same goes for you, please tell me if I'm doing anything you don't like. And please know you don't have to do anything that you aren't comfortable with."
"I know, baby," you said as your raised yourself up to kiss her on the lips.
Jessie was kissing you back, eyes closed, when your hand returned to her zipper and began to pull it down and over her aching erection. Her efforts to kiss you back stalled as your hands pushed the fabric of her pants aside and you began to caress her through her boxer briefs.
You began to kiss her neck and Jessie did her best to swallow any impending moans as you continued to feel her through the fabric. Her eyes remained closed as your fingers traced over the head of her cock before gently feeling and exploring what you could of her length.
Next, she felt you trace along a seam of the boxer briefs and her whole body stiffened as your warm hand reached in through the slit of the fabric and your delicate fingers first made contact with her cock.
"Is this okay?" You whispered into her neck as your hand stilled. She nodded. That fleeting touch alone felt incredible and she could hardly believe it was happening.
"Yeah," was all she could manage.
Assured, you gently wrapped your fingers around her length and pulled it through the slit. Now, unencumbered, her full length sprang upward in your grasp and, intentional or not, you sat back and Jessie opened her eyes to see you looking at her cock.
She registered this image of you looking down at her length that stood proudly up within your hand, a large bead of precum pooling at the tip. She wasn't 100% sure how to read your expression, it wasn't negative for sure, curiosity maybe? Either way, a rush of apprehension went through her and she pushed herself back a bit and began to stammer.
"We, um, we don't-"
You seemed to belatedly clue into Jessie's mounting anxiety and you sat up again, one hand coming to cup her cheek as you kissed her mid-sentence, effectively shushing her.
"It's okay," you whispered, kissing her sweetly once more. You urged her to look at you and she did, shoulders visibly rising and falling as her heart raced. “Do you want to stop?” You asked gently, free of judgement.
She studied you, seeing nothing but concern and care in your eyes. She began to relax and she shook her head. “No.”
You kissed her again, letting it linger this time and only pulling away once Jessie's breathing had evened. "You're beautiful," you said. You leaned in so your lips nearly brushed against her ear. "Please don't worry. I love you. And please tell me at any point if you’re uncomfortable and want to stop. That’s perfectly okay.”
“I don’t want to stop,” she told you. She swallowed her residual worries and leaned into your ear. “I want you, too.”
Jessie's jaw fell slack as the hand around her length, which had remained still the past few moments, began to slowly, lightly caress her, your thumb now patiently circling her tip.
Her shoulders rolled back as she felt your tongue flick her earlobe and your breath was hot and teasing against her ear.
"I can't wait to taste you."
She didn't know what she was expecting, but it certainly wasn't for you to say that. She belatedly realized that her fingers were digging into her thighs. She relaxed them along with the rest of her body and you began to kiss your way down until you were resting on the back of your heels once more.
She watched as you looked up at her. You released her momentarily, eyes locked on her still as you licked your hand before wrapping your fingers around her girth again. Jessie didn't drop your gaze, but her shoulders fell at the sensation.
"You can tell me to stop at any point," you reminded her as you began to stroke her up and down. Jessie silenced another moan deep in her throat and swallowed audibly instead as she nodded.
Jessie's mouth fell open further as you dropped her gaze and bent your head towards her waiting arousal. She moved her hands to the edge of the mattress and gripped it tightly as she felt your hot tongue give a slow, teasing flick across the head of her cock. Her breath hitched in her lungs as your tongue languidly circled around the tip.
Her head fell back and her eyes focused on the ceiling as you continued to slowly explore her. Your tongue teased her head, your tongue grazed down her length and back up, your hand gripped her gently, then firmly, you stroked her and circled her.
When your lips wrapped themselves around her tip and you gave a soft, slow lick before sucking and releasing her, she white-knuckled the mattress and set her jaw so harshly it nearly hurt. When your mouth fully sank down on her length, her cock now surrounded by the warmth of your mouth, she couldn't hold back a faint gasp.
Encouraged, you continued, soon bobbing your head up and down on her length and Jessie's breathing became quick and shallow over the incredible sensations that radiated from between her legs and throughout her body.
She curled her fingers inward more, her nails audibly digging into the mattress as you took her further into your mouth, her tip now nudging the back of your throat. Her thighs flexed intermittently as she resisted the urge to move her hips in time with you - she didn't want to be pushy at all.
Her eyes snapped downward as suddenly your free hand found one of hers. She interlaced her fingers with yours and you looked up at her - an absolute sight for Jessie, seeing your mouth wrapped around her swollen cock, your other hand at her base. Again, she was caught off guard as you took her hand and guided it to the back of your head.
The look on her face must've relayed the hesitation or doubt she felt, because you gave a subtle expression of affirmation and pushed her fingers through your hair.
Jessie's breathing was uneven as you refocused on the task at hand, closing your eyes and sucking and licking her once more. Her eyes closed and her head fell back once more as the overwhelming sensations sparked all over again.
She tentatively played with your hair, her hand barely resting on the back of your head as you moved up and down her length. This carried on for a short while until your hand came back up to hers and pushed her hand firmly down on your head, her length going deeper into your throat than ever.
Jessie groaned and clutched your hair instinctually before her eyes flew open in brief panic at allowing herself such a reaction. The feeling ebbed as you continued, undeterred, your thumb actually caressing the back of her hand. She relaxed, sinking into the bed a bit and eyes falling shut once more as she now guided your head up and down.
The sensations that had been building, not just now, but a culmination really of the past several months with you, were about to reach their peak. Jessie's breathing was rapid and she bit the inside of her mouth as a familiar tightening formed between her legs. She opened her eyes, blinking a few times as she tried to center herself.
"I-I'm, I'm gonna cum soon," she told you.
You continued to suck her off and Jessie had to bite the inside of her cheek hard to not groan or curse in pleasure.
"Y/N, I'm not going to last," she tried to warn you, panting as she spoke. "I'm gonna cum."
She expected you to pull back from her, but you remained steadfast, keeping her warm in your mouth until Jessie gripped your hair tightly and tensed up underneath your ministrations. She snuffed out another moan as she began to spill herself into your mouth and down your throat. Her breath hitched as she spurt several times inside your waiting mouth.
Jessie breathed heavily as the twitching of her cock slowed and so did you. It took a few moments for her to come through the haze of her climax and when she did she looked at you in concern. You, however, simply sat back and covered your mouth briefly before swallowing. Jessie just stared at you, stunned.
You wiped your mouth and sat there on your knees before looking up at her. Jessie was still catching her breath as you both looked at each other.
"You taste good," you eventually said, causing Jessie to flush red immediately.
"You-you didn't have to do that," Jessie responded. "Um, swallow, that is." She frowned and flushed further. "Any of it, really."
You frowned in return before giving her a light shrug. "I know. I wanted to." You looked away briefly. "So, um, was it okay?"
Jessie gave you a bewildered look.
"You're joking. You couldn't tell?" She asked, unable to help but laugh a bit. She just shot a huge load down your throat, relatively quickly too - of course she liked it. Instead, you blushed.
"I guess. You were very quiet though," you said somewhat tentatively. You went on quickly. "Maybe that's just how you are - and that's totally fine. I guess I just- I don't know."
Jessie wanted to curse, and moan, and groan with pleasure as you pleasured her, but again, she'd been made fun of before. She'd been the subject of teasing and mocking in hallways or a classroom and it caused her to hold back. She studied you wordlessly for a couple of seconds before nodding.
"I really loved it. You were," she shook her head as she tried to find the words, "beyond incredible." This seemed to relax you and you rose up onto your knees and she wrapped you in a hug as you kissed her.
"Shit, sorry," she said, another blush creeping up her face as she realized her deflating cock was directly on your shirt, staining it with your spit and whatever little remained of her cum.
"Oh, don't worry," you said. You chuckled coyly, gaze flitting away for a second before returning. "We were going to get changed anyway, right?"
Oh right. She'd forgotten all about that already.
Yet again, for the nth time today, you surprised her by locking eyes with her and slowly lifting your top off in front of her. Her jaw dropped slightly and her eyebrows lifted as she took in this stunning visual of you.
"Is this okay?" You asked, your shirt now discarded next to you and your hand behind your back, poised to unhook your bra.
Jessie nodded with a goofy grin. "Yeah, completely."
You smirked and gave her a small nod. "What about you?"
Jessie didn't falter under your watchful stare. She could feel her confidence continuing to build as the barriers she'd firmly placed between you two were rapidly destroyed to discover that there was love and acceptance on the other side.
She lifted her top over her head and tossed it by yours. She reached for your arms and gently guided you up onto the bed with her, your hand still on the back of your bra. She reached behind you, adoring the smile you gave her as she did, and undid your bra for you.
Not thinking twice, Jessie dipped her head to begin trailing kisses down your chest. She cupped one of your breasts and pulled the nipple of your other in between her lips to tease it with her tongue. She grinned into you as your hands wandered and dug through her hair.
She continued to attentively discover your breasts and soon you started shimmying out of your pants and were tugging at hers. Her cock now fully alert and ready to go once more, making her even more grateful that you'd started with a blowjob; it took the edge off for her.
Jessie chuckled softly as she lifted her hips so you could remove her clothes. Yes, she was still nervous, but more than anything she felt an undercurrent of safety and affection and it was such a change. One she more than welcomed.
"Holy shit, you're gorgeous," you said as you took in her naked form. Jessie snorted and gave you a frown.
"You're gorgeous. My God, look at you," she said. She glanced down pointedly at her stiff member. "In case you needed proof that you are so fucking sexy."
Your eyes darkened once more and you pulled Jessie into a heated kiss. The kisses between you two earlier were slow and passionate, but these were hungry and needy.
Soon, you tugged gently on her arm, coaxing her up the bed and she allowed herself to be pulled down on top of you, but made sure to position herself not so precariously against you. She took this as her opportunity to start kissing down your body towards your core.
Your grasp tightened on her, urging her to not move further down.
"Stay with me up here," you said.
"Let me take care of you," Jessie said as she began kissing her way downward once more. "You got to taste me," she looked up your torso at you as she laid slow, lingering kisses down your stomach, "I should get to taste you."
You bit your lip and released her, a smirk on your face as she continued to kiss down your body. She shifted down the bed so her head was nestled between your legs. She felt a buzz, lightheaded even, as your scent filled her senses. Her cock was pressed flat against her torso as she lay on the mattress and she had to readily ignore the hints of pleasure from the friction any slight movement of hers created.
She saw the way your fingers dug into the sheets in anticipation and at a glance she could see the way your arousal pooled at your entrance. Another boost of confidence went through Jessie at seeing physical proof that the act you just performed for her wasn't a turn off, and evidently, even turned you on.
Your knees were raised, feet on the bed and she began to kiss her way down your legs, slowly, teasingly - down one side and then the next. She felt affirmed by how your hips subtly bucked up towards her mouth as she got closer and your fingers dug further into the sheets in frustration every time she pulled back.
She showed an ounce of mercy as she traced her tongue along the junction between your legs and core; staying purposefully away from your inner lips and keeping her tongue light and fleeting. She glanced up your body with a grin, pleased with how your chest visibly rose and fell already under her drawn out attention.
When she saw a bead of cum drip past your entrance and down towards the sheets, she finally delved in. She dipped her tongue down and slowly dragged it upward, capturing your dripping juices and finishing with a soft lick at your entrance. Your body tensed up and a small gasp escaped you and before you had even relaxed she placed her tongue flat against your entrance, before tracing diligently upward through your folds.
You squirmed and writhed as she took her time circling around your clit, giving it a playful flick now and then and finally latching her lips around it and sucking as she lapped at you.
"Oh fuck," you panted as you rolled your hips up into her mouth. She loved your reactions and she grinned into you, sufficiently pleased with herself.
Soon your moans grew louder and you clutched the sheets tightly in your hands. Again, Jessie smiled as she felt your legs tighten and flex around her head.
"Oh God, Jess," you breathed as your hips bucked into her face. "I'm so close." Your hands now clawed blindly at the bed.
Jessie stayed steady, ignoring how her cock absolutely throbbed with need. Every movement and sound you made, along with the way you tasted on her tongue, was driving her mad. She hated to think what state she'd be in if you hadn't given her some reprieve earlier.
Your moans reached a fever pitch and your hips began to jerk against her until you froze mid-grind, your back arching off of the bed and juices flooded Jessie's mouth. She stayed with you, wordlessly coaching you through your orgasm until you hips fell back to the bed and gave a few lingering, stuttering movements. Finally, a heavy, satisfied moan left your lips as your body relaxed and Jessie pulled back.
"Oh my God," you breathed and she smirked as you brought your hands up to your face, eventually draping one arm across your eyes and stretched one leg out as you began to recover.
Jessie watched you coming down, clearly content with her performance. She was filled with satisfaction and pride, but it also sparked a need in her to make you feel that way again. She wanted you to reach that high once more, to feel as amazing as you could, and she wanted to be the one to do it.
Old habits died hard.
This is what she did. As the years went on, one way to defend herself was to make certain there was nothing to make fun of. To be good - damn good. To know exactly what to do and how. But she learned this also had drawbacks of its own. It didn’t change how those girls felt about her. She just went from the butt of a joke to a late night call and little more.
So in time, she more or less stopped altogether. Going into this, she was worried about how rusty she was, but those concerns were quelled by the orgasm she just gave you. And now, she wanted more and to give you more.
She kissed the inside of your thigh. Soft and feathery at first before kissing her way inward again.
She gave you a tentative lick, cleaning up the juices that remained on your lips and your body twitched, an immediate whimper escaping your mouth.
Yes, she definitely wanted more.
She took her time, easing you back towards ecstasy as she gently licked and sucked at you until you were rocking up into her mouth yet again.
This time, as your hands began to grip the sheets once more she reciprocated your earlier move and grasped one of your hands and placed it on the back of her head to give you free rein. She smiled as your fingers immediately dug into her crown and gripped her hair tightly.
You didn't change her pace, and instead simply gripped her tightly as if to anchor yourself as she brought you to another high.
At one point, she pushed your legs back to give her greater access. The shift in position elicited a wanton moan from you and you palmed helplessly at your face with your free hand as she sent mounting waves of pleasure through you.
By the time your moans heightened again, Jessie starting to identify the signs of your nearing release, she had to consciously stop from grinding herself against the mattress for some hint of release.
You gripped her hair so tightly as you came that she winced, but she ducked her head to ensure you didn't see. Not that she felt you could notice even if you tried with how your cries filled the room and you writhed against the bed. Besides, she considered it a compliment.
Your body shuddered as she slowed her licks in time with the way your breathing began to calm.
"Oh-oh my God," you panted as you lay there dazed, eyes closed, the movement of your breasts catching Jessie's eyes as you worked to catch your breath. "I need a moment."
Jessie bit back a chuckle, very pleased with herself and simply laid a soft kiss on your thigh before wiping her face and moving up to lay next to you.
"Holy shit," you said when you finally managed to open your eyes and peek over at her.
"So...was it okay?" Jessie asked. She very likely knew the answer, but, you'd asked earlier and she wanted to reciprocate. And if there was something else you wanted, she wanted to know that too.
You shot her a withering stare.
"Come on," you said. Her expression must've betrayed her, because you next comment was, "Oh yeah. I see your little smirk. You know damn well how much I enjoyed that." You gave a light huff of a laugh. "And if not, I'm sure the cum on the sheets or whatever was surely dripping down your chin should've been a telltale sign."
Jessie blushed at your language and candor, but she liked it.
"Well, you asked me the same earlier and I thought it was pretty obvious how much I liked it," she countered.
You chuckled, closing your eyes once more for a couple of seconds before responding. "Well, I guess I didn't know how to read your reactions throughout. I'll learn though. My reactions? My neighbours could tell you how good you were. Which will be totally embarrassing if I run into them anytime soon, but, worth it."
Jessie tried to tamp down her smile to avoid appearing smug, but felt her face growing warmer despite whatever satisfaction she felt.
"I see you're ready to go again," you said with a lilt in your voice and a purposeful glance down at Jessie's erection.
"Oh." Jessie's face burned hotter. She shook her head mildly. "That's fine. It'll go away eventually. Or whatever."
Jessie's curiosity piqued as you studied her face for a couple of moments, before suddenly she found herself on her back with you straddling her waist.
"I can help, you know," you said lightly with a gleam in your eye. You pushed your hips back, making brief, teasing contact with her length to prove your point.
"Oh," Jessie voiced as a rush of anxiety went through her while she inadvertently dug her fingers into your hips. You took it as affirmation as rocked against her once more. If the fleeting contact with her cock wasn't enough, having your hot, wet heat rub against her abs was sending her into a daze.
"I, um," she stammered as she tried to think through the pleasure and distraction of you rocking against her body, "I didn't bring any condoms with me," she said as she stared at your waist, mesmerized by how your hips were moving. She forced herself to look you in the eye. "I had no idea this was happening tonight."
You stilled entirely and a puzzled expression slowly crossed your features.
"Condoms?" You asked. Soon you nodded as though reasoning with yourself. "For like, safety. Staying clean - all that, right?" You rolled your eyes at yourself. "Obviously. That makes total sense."
"Well...yeah," Jessie shrugged. As she started to elaborate, she found her gaze flitting away, newfound nervousness rising through her chest. "But, probably the bigger thing is, you know, birth control and all that."
"What?" You asked, clearly surprised. Jessie felt herself growing meek, but she resisted as best she could.
"Yeah," she responded, trying to sound nonchalant. "That aspect is...anatomically accurate as well."
She could practically see your mind reeling. She subconsciously began kneading your hips in some attempt to calm you.
"So, um. Yeah," she said, unable to find the right words.
She watched you carefully, vigilantly looking for any hint of what you were thinking or how you might react. The seconds passed and her heart pounded louder and louder in her ears. She looked at you with a concerned frown.
"Say something, please."
A/N: It was FAR too long to fit into one chapter. I'm working on the next part - if you've read my stuff, you know where I'm leaning with this condom situation lol - let me know your thoughts; I can still go a couple of different directions.
Tag requests: @multifandomlesbianic @marvelwomen-simp @kathleenmikaelson
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soobnny · 1 year ago
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ten things lee know says when he thinks you’re asleep — fluff, established relationship, squint of angst
chan | LEE KNOW | changbin | hyunjin | han | felix | seungmin | jeongin
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one. ah, i forgot to tell you, there's a new barbecue place that opened recently. i saw it while i was walking with hannie, and i heard they have really good meat. we should go there soon, maybe have it over a few drinks. i'll buy you meat, let's go eat it together.
two. yongbok tells me i should tell you 'i love you' more. i think he's right. i'm sorry if i don't say it enough. i'm just—new to this. but i really do love you, more than you know.
three. i never feel like i'm wasting my time when i'm with you. even if we're just sitting beside each other in silence, even if we're just drinking tea, even if we do nothing for hours. every moment i spend with you feels so fulfilling. it would be hell with anyone else.
four. soonie, doongie, dori need a mom, hm? they already love you anyway. sometimes i think doongie loves you more than he loves me. i think it's because he's most like me. ahh, do you think they'll love our kids in the future too? do you think they'll get jealous they won't be our only kids? (sigh) i can't wait to marry you.
five. when i'm having a really hard day, i feel healed just by having you with me. how do you do that? how do you make my day better just by talking to me for a minute? i think... wait, i know life is less of a hassle because i'm living in it with you.
six. i've never been the type to wish for time to stop, but there is something about being with you that makes me consider it. when i look at you laughing, unaware that you look so beautiful, i understand for a moment.
seven. i’m sorry. i’m sorry. please don’t leave me. i’m sorry. i hate seeing you cry. i hate that it’s because of me. i’m sorry. please stay with me.
eight. i always find myself describing you when someone asks me what love is.
nine. you promised to eat well, didn't you? did we promise? i guess it wasn't a promise, but i asked you to do so. are you eating well lately?
ten. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. and for as long as i’m alive, you will always be loved.
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a-hazbin-reader · 9 months ago
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Vox with an unlucky s/o?-
What about Alastor with a lucky s/o?
I CAME AS SOON AS I COULD
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Alastor X Reader Headcanons
✅️Romantic
❌️Platonic
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TW: None?? I think??
Description: ☝️⬆️
Unlike with Vox, Alastor immediately believes you when you tell him you're naturally lucky
However, maybe you should've kept it to yourself because what he takes away from that is that you're indestructible
Always sending you in somewhere dangerous first because he knows you'll come away unscathed
Physically anyways
Motherfucker you'll never psychologically heal from this
Sometimes he tries to use you as his good luck shield charm but it backfires and he ends up on his ass
"What just happened?"
It only cools down a little once you two are together
Somehow the fact that you're so lucky is something Alastor takes pride in as if he's the one responsible for it
If you're bragging about it then he's bragging about it
Even if you're not bragging about it
He's eager to prove it too, just waiting for someone to try and call bullshit
"Okay now I know you're exaggerating, Y/N isn't that lucky-"
"Wanna bet?"
Not him shoving you into traffic just to watch you miraculously spin back to him with some tasty food in your bewildered arms
"You're so thoughtful, my dear! That looks delicious~"
Fuck off you can't have any after pulling that little stunt
Alastor is so pleased when your supernatural luck pulls through because he knows he doesn't have to worry about you all the time
You get kidnapped?? Somehow you always end up home by the end of the day with your kidnappers blown up
You're stuck in a street fight??? Somehow you come out on top and the territory is yours now
Sometimes Alastor is genuinely baffled by just how lucky you can be but he's learned to just stop questioning it
You're his amazingly lucky S/O and he's so impressed by it, will use you to help him win bets/place deals
"Wanna make a deal that Y/N will land on their feet after I push them off this building?"
You're gonna make him so powerful
Sometimes you wonder if he's trying to kill you but all your anger melts away at the sight of his proud face
You can't stay mad him, not when he just wants to show you off and genuinely seems to believe in you
It helps that he rewards you afterwards with some affection, rubbing his cheek on you and telling you what a good job you did
Shut up and keep rubbing my head you psychopath
You can always get him back if you really wanted to, your luck would prevail and you'd come out on top
Not that Alastor knows that
You should get revenge
"Mm...you're so gonna get it...~"
"What was that now?"
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The chaotic side of me took hold but I hope you still like it!!
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howtofightwrite · 2 months ago
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So. There is no safe place (in the body) to be shot. There are places that are slightly safer than others to be stabbed (i.e. being stabbed in the meat of your calf is less likely to be lethal than your torso). For the purposes of an arrow wound, which feels like a combination of shot+stab for a swords n sorcery world, is there a “less lethal” place to take an arrow? My character is traveling with companions and gets into a fun little goblin skirmish. I need her to catch an arrow somewhere that will be concerning, but not immediately fatal. Magic Bullshit™️ will keep the wound from healing properly for a few days, but I’ve accounted for field wound care (cleaning and bandaging and such) as she’s being taken on horseback to get proper treatment.
Not deeply.
So, the problem with all of these is tissue disruption. If the injury gets deep enough, the chances that it will hit something vital (especially on the torso) increase dramatically. So, getting stabbed and having the blade catch bone, instead of getting in deeper is “relatively” safe. Similarly, getting stabbed (or shot) in the hand or foot is unlikely to kill you (though, those injuries are likely to result in permanent damage impairing the use of injured appendage.)
Arrows are a little different, in a couple of ways. First, if you get shot, you do not want to pull that off (nor break it off and push it through.) That will increase the risk of bleeding out. Arrows make fairly large holes in people, but if the arrow sticks in the wound (which, it should) it will actually limit the amount of bleeding. Effectively the wound has a partial plug in it. Pulling out the arrow means that plug is no longer there, and they can happily bleed to death on the spot.
The second thing about arrows is that they actually pin muscle together. Think of it a bit like holding two pieces of meat together with a toothpick. If the toothpick isn't there, the pieces can slide across each other without issue, but that's not possible when there's a wooden shaft running through them. Your muscles are a complex web of meat, that slide over each other as you move. Pinning those together means that part of your body will actually lock up. For example, if you're shot in the shoulder, you won't be able to adjust the position of your arm. It's been toothpicked, and it's not going anywhere.
Arrowheads can get wedged in bone. If it's a broad head, or hunting tip, that will be obnoxious to get out.
At the risk of reading too much into your setting, goblins often means poisons, or other nastiness. Though, really, even just getting a tetanus infection (it used to be called “lock jaw”) from their blades is a pretty horrific potential fate. Even if the wounds themselves were relatively minor (cuts and scrapes, maybe a graze or two), a couple days might still result in some pretty horrific harm after the fact.
Also, remember, it's unlikely that bacteria will be understood by the medical science of your setting. So, first aid would still run a real risk of secondary infections.
Depending on their skill in first aid, anything outside of a severed artery or catastrophic organ damage should be (technically) survivable, though the wounds could easily result in permanent impairments, depending on exactly what was hit. A punctured lung might not kill her, but it could result in permanent respiratory issues, such as a cough, and chronic pain while breathing heavily from then on. It could also result in pneumonia and death, which is also, usually, pretty permanent.
Some of this depends more on where you want to land on a spectrum between dark fantasy and swords & sorcery. The genres are similar (and potentially overlapping), but can scatter out into dramatically different works. But, you do have some options on how you want to proceed.
-Starke
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