#i just think it would have been more interesting if simon had to deal with the consequences of what he did as ice king

[bluebirdcurse]

Princess Monster Wife watching tv with Prismo: Oh okay, I'm glad they acknowledged the traditionally exploitative gender roles in academic couples. I guess my wish is to not be a Stepford wife abomination?

[marvellous1917]

Icarus Falling Far.

(Part 3)

Pairing: mob!bucky x tattoo artist!female!reader

Summary: it’s the day after giving the dangerous mobster his first tattoo, and he hasn’t contacted you yet. What a dick.

Warnings: cursing, crime, mentions of guns, stalking/harassment (brief), think that’s it.

Word count: 3.6k ish

A/N: i had no plan to make this story into a mini-series, so if this seems a little unplanned… it is. Anyway, hope you like it my loves 😘

(This is not beta’s so any mistakes are my own)

Part 2 ⬇️:

———————

Bold is readers thoughts

Italics is Bucky's thoughts

This starts in Bucky’s POV.

———————

His home office was always the place he went to feel at peace. Ironic really, considering the dealings done within the room. The walls had seen him order his men to assassinate his rivals, to eliminate anybody that got in their way. The desk had felt the tip of the pen write extortionate contracts, sent silently to some of the cities most powerful people, the non-explicit threat sent with photos of their family’s, to reminds them what they were risking if they refused to comply. The window that felt the full strength of his prosthetic too many times to count. The hole in the floor after one of his employees managed to literally shoot himself in the foot. {guess who}

But his peace was teetering on a cliffs edge. His hands were woven into his hair, pulling to try and alleviate the headache forming. Elbows resting on his desk as his eyes stayed staring at one specific groove in the wood.

A knock at the door broke his trance and he sighed. It was a rule in the Compound that if the boss was in his office and the door was closed, you do not interrupt or enter unless there was an emergency. Only one man was brave enough to completely disregard Bucky’s rule, which had led to some… interesting situations when Bucky had girls in there with him.

“Come in,” he called, knowing the longer he waited to respond, the louder and more incessant the knocking would become.

The door opened and there was Bucky’s very own personal dumbass: Steve Rogers. The man had been a part of Bucky’s life since as long as he could remember, if-fact some of his earliest memories were with Steve; young boys playing cops and robbers together, attempting to protect Steve when he picked a fight he had no business being in- which had led to Bucky getting his ass beat as well, and scheming together about how to make sure that Simon Justin never played baseball again after pulling his sisters hair on the playground.

“Fuck me Buck, I’m not sure if today could have been anymore fucked,” Steve stated as he collapsed on to the couch, flinging his legs over one arm and resting his head in the other.

Today was a stressful fucking day.

It was the day that Bucky was making all necessary moves. Why all the problems had to pop up now, he wasn’t sure. And the kicker to this awful day? He had no time to talk to you, the girl he could not get out of his head, no matter how hard he tried. You’d managed to flood his mind, memories of the kiss you shared playing over and over again.

“Did you close the door?” Bucky asked, not moving an inch.

“Yeah.”

“Good because I do not need anyone else talking to me right now,” Bucky said, his voice low and quiet, an air of danger ever-present in his tone.

“C’mon Buck, y’know you love them,” Steve responds with a dopey little smirk on his face, and he tilts his head to make eye contact with the man he calls his brother.

I hate that fuckin smile.

He softly hums his agreement and returns to inspecting the groove on his desk.

“We just gotta talk it out, figure out what the fuck is going on, then plan our next moves accordingly,” Steve says, swinging his legs back to the floor, hands clasped together, his arms leaning on his knees.

“Yeah thanks man, I didn’t think about figuring everything out, maybe I’ll give that a go now” Bucky retorts with weak sarcasm, mind too busy, replaying the events of the day.

“I can leave you alone to get lost in your head, or we can figure this shit out together. It’s your call jerk.” Steve says, tilting his head down to catch Bucky’s eye.

“Alright.”

“Stop pulling your hair jackass.” He adds.

I hate it when you do that.

Bucky drops his hands to the desk and says, “Ok let’s start this debrief with Walker.”

“Nat’s got his ass tied up in the basement for ya, he’s ready when you are.”

“Anybody looking for him?”

“One frustratingly loyal friend, but he has no idea that Johnny-boy is with us. The rest of his little fan club have no idea he’s even missing.”

“Ok, one problem down. Rumlow?” It’s the question he doesn’t want the answer to. He’d much rather spend his time thinking about you. His history with Brock Rumlow was bloody and painful, for both of them. There was only one person from his past that Bucky hadn’t dealt with, and here he was, coming back to ruin the name Bucky had made for himself.

Rumlow knew things about Bucky’s past that made him a a high security threat, but after he failed to blow himself up in an attempt to kill Bucky, he had disappeared. Bucky thought it was finally over, but the asshole popped back up about a year ago, with more power than before, making himself seemingly untouchable by Bucky’s hand.

“Currently moving like he has been, not causing too much trouble for us, though his crew are getting closer and closer to our dealings at the port.” Steve said, a slight look of digits on his face.

“Put extra hands down there for the next couple weeks, see if we can’t scare them off a little.”

“Yes boss. I’ll let them know after this.”

“The commissioner’s dealt with?” Buck asks, remembering the deviation the man had decided to make.

“Yep, send him that gift basket. He called Sam this morning and agreed to our terms.”

“Good. How’s Barton?” He asks, moving into what they class as ‘personal business’.

“Pissed, man. He wants blood for what happened, we all do.” Steve answers, the memory of seeing Clint covered in blood and bruised made his blood simmer.

“We sure it wasn’t Rumlows’ lot, or fuck even Walker?

“Walkers’ fanclub do not have the brain cells, the power, or the information to organise an attack like that, and Parker tracked Rumlow and his men, all are accounted for and have alibis. This is someone new.”

Oh for fuck’s sake. Isn’t two power hungry assholes enough.

“We haven’t found anything? No security cameras, no cell tower pings?” Bucky asks, leaning back in his chair, resting his head on the back.

“Actually, I sent Scott there this morning to check out if there was anything left there and he found something.” Steve responds, some apprehension creeping into his voice.

That got Bucky’s attention. His head snapped back up and locked eyes with Steve who now stood in-front of his desk, pacing back and forth slightly.

“Care to share with the class Rogers?” His voice was hard now, his extreme dislike of not knowing all the information shining through.

Steve exhales sharply, biting his tongue to not retort and piss Bucky off more.

“He found a package tucked behind a dumpster addressed to ‘Bucky Barnes’ that had a memory stick-“

“Like a USB?” Bucky interrupted.

“- Yeah a USB-“ he gets cut off again.

“Then just say USB, calling it a ‘memory stick’ makes you sound 100 years old.”

“-oh dear god, you gonna let me finish?” Steve responds.

Bucky waved his hand at him, a sign for him to continue.

“Scott found a package addressed to you with a USB inside, we gave it to Stark ‘cos Parker was busy tracking down Rumlows crew, and he checked it out and told us it was completely normal, no virus or anything bad in it.”

“Was there anything on it?” Bucky asks, his brow furrowed.

“It..uh..has two pictures on it.” Steve said lowly.

“…of?”

“It’s probably better if I just show you.” Steve said, his tone of voice made Bucky a little nervous.

Steve took out his phone, tapped a couple of time before turning it around to give to Bucky. As soon as the latter had ahold of the phone, Steve took a full step back, which caused Bucky to raise his eyebrows in question.

“Just look.” He says in response to Bucky’s unasked question.

He looked down at the screen and almost immediately removed his left hand as to not break the phone.

Fuck. Shit.

The first picture was of the night he met you. It was taken through the window for you apartment, and clearly showed both you and Bucky, stood side by side, looking through your flash book.

“What the fuck is this?” He pushes out through gritted teeth.

“I assuming that’s the tattoo artist you told me about, the one you got a thing for?” Steve says.

The one I’m obsessed with.

When Bucky gives him a sharp nod, Steve just drops his head, suddenly fascinated with his shoes.

“Shit.” He says under his breath.

“What?” Bucky’s voice was louder now.

“Look at the next picture.” Steve says while avoiding eye contact.

Bucky looks down, his finger swiping to the next picture before he can think about it.

No. No no fuck. Not her.

The next photo was taken from inside the apartment. Inside your bedroom. It’s of you. Asleep. Completely unaware of the danger stood at the foot of your bed.

Bucky couldn’t look away, he was frozen staring at the picture. Your shorts and oversized tee had both ridden up slightly, showing how truly vulnerable you are. The clock on your table showed the time as 3:54 and showed the date.

“…this was taken this morning.”

“..yeah.”

fuck.

———————

Fuck Bucky Barnes.

The bastard hadn’t contacted you since the shop.

Bitch ass told me to keep my phone on so I wouldn’t miss his message, kept me glued to my phone like a weirdo waiting for him to call… and he didn’t. Dick.

Despite the annoyance at the very very attractive mobster, you couldn’t help wonder how he was, what he was doing, if he was thinking about you too.

You’re overthinking about Bucky was interrupted by a knock at your door.

“One sec!” You shout to whoever’s there, getting up and walking to the door. The second you undo the lock, the door is being pushed into your face with a chorus of greetings.

“Come in I guess,” you say to the three who just walked in.

“Well thanks darlin, you got food?” Billy responds, already making his way to the fridge.

“Don’t fucking eat my pizza Bill, I swear I’ll kill you,” you answer, giving both Frank and Curtis a hug, letting the door close behind them.

He laughs off your threat as the others take a seat on your couch.

“Not that I don’t love you guys, but why the fuck are you here?” You ask, moving back to the arm chair in the corner and taking a seat, your phone pinging in the back ground.

“What, we can’t pop in on you whenever we want?” Frank says, leaning back in the arm of the couch, moving to put his feet in the coffee table.

“Frankie if you put your feet on my table, I’m gonna beat you with a spoon.” You call at him.

He freezes and slowly lowers his feet back to the floor.

“We just wanted to come see how you were…Frank told us about Barnes.” Curtis says, cutting into the conversation and completely dampening the mood.

God-fucking-dammit Frank.

Oh fuck do I tell them that he’s not an issue and I actually quite like him.

“Yeah are you ok sweetheart?” Billy asks and he collapses on the couch in the middle of the other boys.

“I’m fine guys, I swear, like I told Frank he’s actually not bad,” you answer, shifting uncomfortable lay in your seat due to the indecision of how much to tell them, “He was nice, polite and kind of…charming, I guess-”

“Is that why you kissed him?” Frank interrupts.

Shit, how does he know?

“-what?”

“You kissed him. Or rather he kissed you but you seemed to enjoy it.” Billy says with an annoying smirk on his face.

“How do you know that?” You ask, shock still written all over your face.

“..the security cameras, kid. You forget about those?”

Ahh fuck.

“Ahh fuck,” you say out loud.

“What the hell are you doing making out with a mobster, Y/N?” Curtis responds, looking at you with those eyes of his that show he’s not judging, just trying to understand.

“I..uh..I wasn’t-really-thinking.” You put you hands on your head, even though Curtis wasn’t judging you, the other two definitely were.

“Obviously you weren’t, he’s a goddam mobster Y/N-” Billy starts, anger in his voice, but you cut him off.

“I know that Bill, ok, I do,” you say, shifting to place your feet on the floor, “but he’s not the animal you think he is, he’s kind and considerate and he makes me feel…” happy. you cut off before the last word, wanting to keep that realisation to yourself for a little longer.

“Plus you bastards can’t be judging me for meeting the guy twice, only yourselves and the devil knows what fucked shit you three have been up to.” You almost shout.

“The fuck does that mean?” Frank answers.

“C’mon Frank I’m not stupid, you three have some shady shit in your pasts. I mean you were goddam military for fucks sake, and don’t think I don’t see the fake payments on the books at the shop-“

“Stop Y/N.” Billy cuts you off. “Stop it now.” He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees, eyes never leaving yours.

You were about to respond to his demand, when a knock sounded at the door.

“Told you to keep you phone on.” A dark voice calls through the door.

Oh shit. No no no not now please not now.

“Who the fuck is that?” Frank asks, suddenly sitting up straight, eyes pinned on the door. Both Billy and Curtis stand, facing the door as if waiting for it to bust off it’s hinges.

“Please all of you, shut the fuck up and don’t do anything dumb,” you answer, moving towards the door.

“Is that him?” Curtis asks.

“Didn’t I just say shut the fuck up,” you retort a little snappier, opening the door slightly.

He cut his hair, it’s looks good on him.

Bucky lowers his arm from his thwarted attempt at a second knock and says, “Is your phone broken or are you ignoring me?” The smirk on his face made your heart beat a little faster.

“Neither, I just missed your text because I have some friends over right now,” you say.

“Is that why you’re not opening the door properly? I can barley see you,” he says with a grin.

“…kinda? Ok wait..” you exit your apartment, pulling the door closed fully behind you, “long story short, they know about the k.. uh about what happened at the shop, and they know who you are and they are not happy about it.”

His eyes darken and his smirk grows wider at the almost mention of the kiss. He shifts until he’s leaning his shoulder on the wall by your door.

“Oh yeah? Doesn’t really matter what they think though, does it doll? Both you and I know how much you enjoyed it.” He says, mouth forming a cheeky grin.

Oh my god.

“Me? You’re the one who started it Bucky, seemed you enjoyed it more,” you respond, having no idea where the confidence came from.

He hums at your statement and says “Well I can admit that I did enjoy our kiss sweetheart, but I may need a little reminder of how it went, it’s been a long day you see.”

“Bucky-” you’re cut of by him stepping closer until your chests are barley touching, the new position making you tilt your head back to see him better.

“What darlin? You ok with this?” He asks slowly, tilting his head to the side slightly, looking into your eyes for any sign of discomfort.

Why does he have to be so sweet.

You nod in answer to his question and he smiles. Not the terrifying grin or the cheeky smirk, but a genuine smile - one that makes him even more beautiful. Bucky raises his right arm, dragging his thumb over your lips and cupping your cheek while you stare up at him, his other hand sneaks around your back, pulling you flush to him.

“You have no idea what to do to me, do ya?” He mumbles, probably not intending for you to respond as he’s closing the gap between you. The kiss is harsh and a little messy, shocking you slightly with his apparent desperation, hands holding you tightly. He takes advantage of your shock, tracing your lips with his tongue and pushing past to deepen the kiss.

His hand drops from you face to your waist, gripping so tightly, you’re sure he’ll have left a bruise. That thought got you’re heart pumping faster, the idea that an imprint of his hands, his fingers would be left on your skin. It felt right. Bucky pushes you until your back hits the wall, hips fitting against yours almost perfectly, one leg sneaking between yours as you let a light whimper escape.

You break the kiss to get some air, leaning your forehead against his, both of you catching your breath.

“Bucky, I mis-”, you didn’t get to finish the sentence before your door opens and you’re suddenly faced with three pissed off ex-marines.

-(Bucky’s P.O.V)

Bucky immediately steps back, releasing you, and straightens his posture. He looks at the men, quietly analysing them. He can tell that they either are or were military, and definitely care immensely about you, probably to the point of beating the crap out of anyone that hurt you.

The one in the middle is a frightening creature , he thinks, but the wedding band means he has something to loose, he should be less quick to anger, in theory.

The one on the right with the short buzz cut and the tense muscles reminds him of Clint, he’s ready to fight at the drop of a hat, and by the look on his face, I’m gonna be his next target.

The man on the left intrigued Bucky the most. His face is blank, showing nothing. He’s favouring one of his legs, and the other shows a bulky piece of metal at the bottom. Wonder if that’s an old military injury.

“Guys, what are you doing?” You ask, apprehension in your voice. Bucky wonders if you’re scared for them or for him.

“Oh we are gonna head out, let you have some time to really think about what we talked about.” The man in the middle says, putting emphasis on the word really.

“Frank please-”

“No it’s ok sweetheart,” Bucky bristles at the pet name the Clint wannabe says, “we’ll see you later.”

“Billy-”

“Shit, I left my phone on your table, could you get it for me?” The other says to you, cutting off your words, smiling at you to calm the stressed look on your face.

“Of course Cutis, one sec,” you respond, Turing to Bucky at the end of your sentence with a look at says please don’t make this worse.

You pass by the men and let the door fall closed behind you.

The silence is tense as the men all stare at each-other.

“So…how’s your man doing? Y’know the one that got jumped,” Billy says, smirking at Bucky.

“How do you know that?” Bucky asks as his muscles tense.

“…Y/N told us, obviously,” Billy says.

The pause was intentional, she didn’t tell them that.

“He’s fine, thanks.” Bucky responds shortly, all to aware of the lie he was just told.

The door opens just before Billy can respond, all four men going silent again.

“Here it is Curtis, guess I’ll see you guys later then,” you say, before hugging each man.

The three shoulder past Bucky as if he was just a man on the street, no care in the world that he could have them killed for that disrespect. But he lets this one slide, for her, as they’re her friends.

“Did you tell them about Clint?” He knows it was a lie but he needs to make sure his cynical brain isn’t marking it up.

“No? Why?” You answer, unaware of the turmoil occurring in Bucky’s head.

Then how the fuck do they know.

“Give me one minute doll, I forgot something at the car,” he says, “go on inside I’ll be back soon.”

“Uh.. okay.” You answer, walking back into the apartment.

He watches the door and as soon as it closes he is moving back down the stairs, hoping to catch and ask the men how they knew about Clint. Bucky normally has an reasonable explanation for everything, but this time he was stumped. He catches them outside the front door to the building, the three of them stood leaning against their car, watching the door, waiting for him to come out.

“How do you know?” He repeats his question from before, voice lower and more dangerous now.

“Y’know…that bastard has a solid right hook.” Billy says. The sentence sends red hot anger through Bucky’s blood.

It was them. But that means…

“Did you get our package?” The big one in the middle asks, Frank, she called him.

Fuck. The anger that has been burning in his veins since the second he saw those photos of you pours out of him and he immediately pulls a gun on Frank.

“Hey now that’s not smart, is it?” Curtis asks in a placating tone.

“Don’t forget about our girl up there. What’s she gonna think if you shoot me for no reason?” Frank says, unflinching staring down the barrel of Bucky’s gun.

Fuck. Fuck. These bastard are the ones threatening everything, they jumped Clint and are using you to get to him. They’re your friends and you? You have absolutely no idea.

————

Yo this took so long to do!! Hope you like my lil twisty turn at the end there 😈.

Lemme know what u think 😘

Tagged :

@sleepyghostygirl @starlightaurorab @where-the-river-bends @imagines-of-the-fandom @bigenargy @uraverageatiny @squeezyvalkyrie @mylifeispainandiloveit @mrvlxgrl @bopbeepboopbopbeep @yvessaintmuerte @thecubanator2 @flubblubbb @teambarnes72 @ria132love @pingpongfingfong @rivthejellyfish @mybakubaby @blue-chup @goatsmcgee @facinated-lemon @daddylorianisastateofmind @buckybarnesb-tch @yeahimcrying @shifting2places @1-800-bxrnes @fandomsfallnomore @bushtail @ghostofwinter @missdarlingsb @amiets2 @leabunny @justmarlen3 @bofadeezs @jehduxi @grey107th @king-of-spades-aroace @sebismyhubby @princezzjasmine @sebastianswhore @cluckityduck @shuriri4life @calwitch @goodkittyspost @iateall-yourcookies @miss-i-ship-it @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @anawhitethorn @radiator-hands @tripletstephaniescp

[the-raindeer-king]

The 141 and having kids with them :) This was fueled by a random thought I had at work, and it was written at like 3am. Pls be kind.

Simon “Ghost” Riley

Due to his personal experiences, I think he probably would be against having kids in the beginning. Like he's seen and been through so much, and I think his main fear would be ending up like his dad. So he always just wrote it off as something he never wanted to experience

UNTIL YOU COME IN 

And at some point, maybe after Johnny starts having kids, Simon sees you interacting with one of the babies. And something about seeing you with a baby on your hip flips a switch in his brain. 

He wants a kid and he wants one now.

Anyway y'all definitely don't stop at just one kid. I like the idea of Simon with 3 kids, all girls of course. He just exudes girl dad energy. 

He's a great dad too btw. Retires from field work after the second girl is born, and absolutely adores them. Encourages them to engage in extracurricular activities. Would coach their sports team if any of them join. Never misses a recital (totally doesn't try to get the other task force members to show up. 🙄 They just happened to be free lmao)

If any of the girls enlisted, he'd probably try to talk them out of it at first. War is brutal, and the idea of any of them going through what he did makes him sick with worry. But he comes around to the idea, and in the end, is so proud of them. 

He's proud of them regardless. All three are firecrackers with big personalities, and he loves them so much. 

John Price

I think, when he was younger, Price wanted kids. Liked the idea of a wife/husband, a house with a yard, and a couple kids. And it just… never happened. Life got in the way, and how could he bring a child into this world, with all the things he's seen? He made his peace with it, and moved on. 

And then he meets YOU. And suddenly he finds himself hoping for these things again. Especially kids. 

Give this man a baby, please! He exudes fatherly energy (in more ways than one ;p) 

After y'all have the first kid, he retires from the military all together. He's paid his dues, and he's got something far more important now: you, and your sweet baby boy :)

I could see Price either only having one, or having a handful of kids. Probably no more than 3 (two boys and a girl) 

A good dad. Maybe gets a little too invested in their sports games, probably ends up as a coach after correcting the old one too many times lmao 

Would be so proud if any of your kids followed in his footsteps. If none of them do, I think he'd be quietly disappointed but proud of them nonetheless. The two of you raised some wonderful kids. 

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

Probably never really gave it much thought. Like having kids would be cool. Not having them is fine too. Kyle definitely wasn't stressing it, he's got bigger things to worry about.

I mean that is until YOU come along. And now he's thinking about getting married and having babies. 

Definitely talks with you about it in detail. He wants your opinion on it, what method to go about it, if you think you're ready for that. A very lengthy conversation that ends in a mutual agreement. 

I think Kyle wouldn't want more than 2. Like you could convince him, if you want more. But he's fine with a small family. 

2 boys. Twins. Absolutely a handful, and Kyle's there to help when he can. I don't think he'd leave the military until the boys are older, maybe 10/11. But he steps up when he is home, giving you a well deserved break from parenting. 

Loves your boys. Play wrestles with them when they're little, brings them trinkets back from his deployments, takes note of their interests and different personalities. 

Wouldn't mind either way if they enlisted or not. Kyle would be proud of them regardless. You've raised two fine boys, what's not to be proud of?

Johnny “Soap” MacTavish 

Oh, Johnny boy here wants a big family. He's dead set on having kids. It absolutely is a deal breaker for him. His partner has to want kids too.

So when he meets you. And you want kids too, he's over the moon. 

If you've got a uterus, the first kid definitely happens unintentionally. Y'all weren't actively trying, Johnny just can't keep it in his pants lmao. 

If not, then it's all planned out and everything goes smoothly, whether that's surrogate or adoption. 

Like I said, BIG family. I'm talking like 5 kids at the least. You cannot talk him out of it.

Also gives big girl dad energy. Probably ends up with 4 girls and 1 boy. And he's fine with it! Loves getting his nails painted and throwing tea parties, just as much as he loves playing soccer and wrestling 

Like Kyle, Johnny doesn't immediately retire. Sometime after the girl 4 and the baby boy, he'd retire from field work. But he's always facetiming with the kids and bringing them stuff back. Being dad doesn't stop just because he's halfway across the world. 

Would be so proud if any of them enlisted. Would probably cry unashamed. But he's equally as proud of them if they don't. 

[frudoo]

For the slasher 141 AU, imagine they didn’t find the guy. He lays low, evading police and CPS until they eventually lose interest, or another case “takes priority” (AKA they can sweep it under the rug.)

141 lies waiting, but maybe it slips their minds, until John gets a call that reader’s been attacked by the guy, or maybe it’s a hostage situation type deal where he has reader and her class under duress while making orders. Does reader dare to try and fight back, knowing her class and the legal trouble it could bring? Does she pretend to comply, until she can overpower him?

Alternatively, 141 using her as bait (consensually ofc) to lure a notorious abuser out of hiding that goes horribly wrong. Love your AU!

I am kissing your brain right now anon

Reader gets some more backstory <3

Part 2 to this.

Warnings: Dark!Fic/DDDNE. Mentions of abuse. Brief mention of teen pregnancy, forced miscarriage, infertility, hysterectomy. Cancer. Cliffhanger ending (sorry!).

“Faster, bitch!”

     You grip the steering wheel tighter, jaw clenched shut. You want nothing more than to smart off to him, but you know better than that. With four armed and dangerous men of your own, you’d think that they would have taught you to check your surroundings at all times, or at the very least to always lock your damn car. You thought it was harmless—all you had to do was run back inside the building to grab your lunchbox you’d left by accident. How were you supposed to know that someone with a vendetta would sneak into your backseat?

     You had forgotten all about the situation for the most part—Oliver had been coming to your class like normal, happy and unscathed, and his mom had been picking him up with no issue. Maybe that’s why you’d assumed the police had taken his father into custody, or that the man simply just didn’t want to come after you. That theory has been completely obliterated, now, with his knife to your neck, barking orders in your ear. 

     “Are you deaf? I said faster!” He’s erratic, positively irate, and you can feel the cool blade pressing harder against your throat. 

     He’s been screaming at you to take him to his wife’s house, and you plan to do just that. You know for a fact that Oliver’s mother has taken him to her parents’ house because she felt unsafe at her own—too many bad memories and the nagging fear that her husband may come back—and for good reason, apparently. The house is totally empty.

     “I’m trying not to get pulled over,” you say plainly, willing yourself not to wince as he leans in closer, hot breath puffing against the side of your face.

     “Whatever. Just- just fucking get there.”

     The man leans back once more, but he’s getting more and more anxious by the second, frantically checking his phone and tapping his leg nervously. You use his distraction as an opportunity to pull out your own cell, quickly searching for one of your lovers’ contacts. You land on John’s, cautiously typing out an SOS and sending it. There’s a read receipt immediately and you know John is already tracking your location, making Simon start the truck and gathering up the other two. 

     You hide your phone before the fuming man behind you can see what you’ve been doing and pray that Simon’s reckless driving will get them at the house around the same time as you do. Your heart and head are pounding with irritation and, for the first time in a while, true fear. 

     Suddenly, you feel like you’re sixteen again, with your father pressing the tip of his blade into your pregnant belly. You can still hear his voice berating you, calling you words no daughter should ever hear from her father. You can still feel the excruciating pain of the bowie penetrating your abdomen right where your womb sat. You can still remember driving yourself to the hospital and being told that you’d lost your baby, and as a result of the knife wound, would never be able to conceive again. There’s emptiness where your uterus should be, loss where there should have been life. Your boyfriend at the time left you after finding out about your hysterectomy. 

     Sometimes you wish you could have been the one to kill your father. Not the stupid fucking cancer that slowly made him hate you less and less as he got weaker. The sickness seemed to take all the spite in his heart and manifest it into a malignant tumor in his pancreas. The doctors found the mass too late, just like your father found some twisted form of love for you far too long after he ruined you. You didn’t have control over his fate, but you do have control over the piece of shit behind you.

     It’s another fifteen minutes of being threatened before you finally make it to the house, and your heart drops when you realize that your boys aren’t there yet. Your mind starts racing—what if they got pulled over? What if they got into a wreck? You don’t know what the hell you’d do without them, especially not now, as the man is dragging you out of the car and forcing you inside the house with him. Thankfully, it’s empty as you expected, but that just infuriates Oliver’s dad more. 

     “Where the fuck are they?” He grabs you by the throat, spittle spraying across your face in his rage. 

     “I don’t know,” you whimper.

     You’re cursing yourself for showing him just how scared you are. He can practically smell your anxiety and it fuels his ego, makes him squeeze your neck so tight that you know it’ll leave bruises. You’ve already resigned yourself to the fact that this is more than likely where you’ll die, with no courage rising up from your belly and none of your boys to have your back. Maybe it’s a fitting end—your father coming back in a different body to finish the job he was too weak to complete all those years ago. 

     “I think you do,” he hisses, tightening his hand and effectively cutting off your air supply.

     Your vision goes spotty and then black, gasping for breath but not even bothering to fight back. At worst, your death will alert the police and your lovers won’t even get to see your body for the last time as you’re dragged to the morgue. At best, the boys will finally show up and get rid of this fucker, albeit too late to save you, but at least they’ll get to see you and take you back home to lay you to rest. Your absence may hurt for a while but things would inevitably go back to normal—and your sweet little kiddos at the daycare. They’re still so young that they won’t remember you after a while, and you take comfort in that fact as you slowly lose consciousness.

     You don’t feel your body hit the ground.

[agentmarvel]

center image by @/ave661

PART I

hitman!ghost x fat!reader (afab, fem) w/ arranged marriage

mdni - 18+; minors and ageless blogs will be blocked

rating: explicit

word count: 2,992

read on ao3

summary: in which contract killer simon "ghost" riley has to marry by a deadline, and of all the women to pick from, he chose you - without your knowledge, against your own stubborn will, and without much hesitation. your entire life, what you thought you knew, is flipped on its head while you try to navigate your new worldview and the complications therein.

cw: toxic parenting

��

Simon stares at the photos before him, eyes flittering across the array wordlessly as he contemplates the question at hand. As migrant as his gaze has been, he keeps circling back to the same photo in his grid. Something about it draws him in, calling to him like a siren song. There’s no inclination that this path could lead him to his death, leave his bloated corpse floating just below the surface like seaweed, equally as limp and lifeless, nor can he be bothered to mind the possibility of rocky shores ahead, nearly certain to run his ship aground if he’s not exercising the utmost caution. His sails have never flown higher, and this? This feels like the right rigging for his needs.

It’s not that Simon wants a wife. Truthfully, he wants for nothing - he fucks when he feels like it, does as he pleases, and has hired hands to handle his household; anything he desires is placed at his feet with the snap of his fingers. He’s earned the life he has now, paid for it in blood, sweat, and tears - the likes of which belonging both to him and the piles of bodies he prefers to think of as stepping stones rather than people. But Simon Riley is nothing if not a man of his word, and the bill has come due.

Twenty years, he promised. Twenty years, and not a day more. It seems like an eternity to an eager, naïve teenager.

John Price, the master of hired guns, trained Simon. He put years of his life into molding Simon into the perfect weapon while instilling a moral compass impossible to sway. It did not come without cost, though. When he agreed to teach a driven, persistent, gifted fifteen year old Simon the ins and outs of the business, they made a deal. In exchange for John’s knowledge, Simon would be given time to build his empire before being required to take a wife.

“A mountain can’t rest upon a single pebble,” Price had told him. “Strength is in numbers, my boy. Earn loyalty where you can and buy it where you can’t.”

He’s been on his own for just over a decade, John becoming his equal, and he still takes those words to heart; hence the spread of pictures. Word travels fast, and when it gets out that the Simon Riley is seeking a bride, every magnate - respectable or otherwise - with a daughter to spare is throwing their hat into the ring. Conceited, perhaps, but having connections with Simon gives a man the kind of power they’d be foolish to reject.

His right-hand, Johnny, has already weeded out those with seedier dealings - those who cater to terrorism or are even suspected of having connections to human trafficking. While Simon is merciless in his kills, he does not kill without compunction. He’s swift and silent and doesn’t believe in leaving them to suffer. Death itself is punishment enough. There’s no purpose in his life for those who inflict undue dolor for their own gain, and he will not be associated with the uncouth.

The process limits his options, though not by nearly enough. Still, nigh on two dozen remained. He culled the field down to a mere nine by adding stricter constraints: age, employment history, education, and the like. He has no interest in the barely legal, the spoiled socialites, the vapid, shallow, or vain. As hollow as this state of matrimony may ring under the circumstances, he’d prefer not to be one of those men who feels disdain for his partner.

That’s the thought that keeps him circling back to one specific photo - a grayscale surveillance-style photo. The subject is undoubtedly stunning, appears to be precisely his preference in every physical aspect, but the devil is in the details. A delicate necklace that appears to be well-worn but treasured enough to stay polished, a purse that bears no distinguishable designer but shows no sign of detrition, neat, complimentary nails, but he can see a thin sliver of dried glue at the cuticle of the thumb; all signs of frugality without sacrificing sophistication...

Even the tiniest observations sing a haunting, operatic tune that keeps Simon hypnotized with little regard for what could lie within the treacherous depths below. Instinct drives interest, and if there’s anything Simon’s learned in his line of work, it’s to trust his instincts.

Not another beat passes before his fingertips finally close around the edge of the picture. He hands it to Johnny.

“Dig up everything you can on this one, yeah?”

♡

Fascination seems to be the weakest word to describe the rabbit hole Simon finds himself in when Johnny slides a file across his desk. He thumbs the manila tab that peeks out beneath the slew of staggered papers, taking caution to remember the name printed neatly across it - your name. It tastes sweet when he says it out loud. Pretty name for a pretty girl, he muses with a nearly imperceptible smirk.

The surname strikes him with a notch of recognition. Your father, if memory serves correct, is one of the largest arms dealers in the world. A pleasant man by reputation, though Simon has never met him directly. Sans the obvious, he keeps his nose clean. Nothing iniquitous or unscrupulous. There aren’t many American families that Simon has ties to, and forging a bond of this sort with a weapons tycoon would certainly be beneficial.

He digs into the contents of the folder, the pages feeling almost like silk between his heavily calloused fingers. A vague eagerness settles into his bones. Simon feigns disinterest outwardly, expression masked in stoicism, but he can’t lie to himself - he’s undoubtedly curious.

Each barely-cooled sheet turned only draws him further into a spiral. Your basic documents - driver’s license, birth certificate, passport - fill in a few blanks. The additional knowledge of your height, weight, and eye color offer insights not clear from the photo. He knows your middle name, birth date, that you’re an organ donor. You’re not living off your father’s money, as evidenced by the consistent bi-weekly paycheck deposits in your bank records. Educated, obviously, as your student loan payments are automatically drafted monthly.

On paper, it’s almost as if you were made for him, and what a thought that is. Optimism isn't in his nature; a heavy dose of skepticism hangs like a dark cloud, brewing a storm of adversarial rationale. But the pinch of hope that hovers like the sun in the back of his mind tells him to digest before coming back for seconds, and he concedes.

In the days that follow, Simon notices himself spending every spare moment revisiting your file. He placates Johnny’s lingering nosiness with the assurance that he’s merely trying to make a prudent choice under the circumstances, but that’s not quite honest. Truth be told, you’ve become a bit of an obsession of his over the last week. He often notes that his mind is wandering to the things he didn’t learn from the dossier - how you take your tea, what perfume you use, where you’ve always wanted to go but have never been. It’s a dangerous admission, one best kept to himself.

He toys with the notion of conducting the same research on a couple of the other candidates, just to be sure, but his decision is made final when Kyle sends over the links to your social media accounts. None of them are private - an issue Simon will have to address quite thoroughly at a later date - so he has no trouble combing through the last several years of your life.

Admittedly, it leaves an adequate mark. You’re witty and smart while remaining a bit sardonic. Thoughtful and warm, but not without your sharp edges. You’re ambitious and driven, a bit of a firecracker. Color him impressed; he quite likes that.

Demeanor aside, he also finds that you really, genuinely are an absolute beauty. The few photos from your file don’t hold a candle to the selfies you’ve posted. Something about seeing you when you feel most confident, when you’re exuding that effervescent glow of aplomb, it sparks a sensation in Simon’s stomach that he can’t quite describe.

That all but seals the deal.

He snaps up his phone and sends a text to Johnny before placing it face-down and turning back to his laptop.

>>> Set up the meeting

♡

As his jet touches down in Bogotá, Simon is reminded of what a nasty beast jetlag can be. It’s an animal he’s not had to contend with since his younger years, a fact for which he’s grateful. Call it a perk of his constant travel over the years and the more… unconventional hours he entertains on jobs. They’re approaching hour fourteen of their flight, though, so he supposes he can’t fault his men for falling asleep.

(He did, however, take a picture of them sleeping on each other before the turbulence awoke them; you know, for the sake of posterity and potential future blackmail.)

Simon’s mind had been far too occupied to allow him the opulence of rest. Upon his lap sits a dossier on his next target, a relatively high profile subversive at that, and all he can think about is the pretty little thing that’s been haunting his subconscious for the last two weeks.

By all accounts, it’s baffling. He understands that this sudden onset of infatuation is irrational, illogical, and quite frankly, irresponsible. It distracts him from things he ought not be distracted from, and that irritates him to no end.

The whirring of the engines slows to a dull hum, and Simon, with a grunt of discontentment, stuffs the file into his briefcase. He’ll accomplish nothing as long as he’s preoccupied. Hopefully, focus will be far less elusive on the flight back.

A loud thunk from the cockpit draws him from his spiral of ire, and Nikolai emerges. He greets Simon only with a curt nod before disengaging the door and deploying the stairs. Once they’ve kissed the asphalt, he ventures back a step, creating room for the men to disembark.

“Welcome to Colombia, gentlemen,” he announces. “We leave in six hours; gives me time to refuel the bird and grab some fuel myself. Enjoy your time, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, okay?” He tacks on a wink for good measure, which draws a bark of laughter from Kyle. Nik’s been with them long enough for them to know that’s a very short list, a fact Johnny is very quick to point out.

Simon claps a hand on Nikolai’s shoulder and hands him an envelope before stepping out - a hefty cash sum for his time and efforts. He may have also snuck in a sizable bonus as an anniversary present, but that will stay between the two of them.

“Get some rest, too, yeah? You’ve earned it.”

The air outside is crisp and pleasant. Underneath the standard airfield smells, Simon detects a pinch of coffee and cocoa. He wouldn’t be surprised; there’s a manufacturing plant not too terribly far from here, and if the wind blows just so, it may carry on the current. It’s refreshing, especially after being trapped for hours in an aluminum tube with three men who, today in particular, seem to be having a war over who can wear the strongest cologne.

Kyle and Johnny flank him on either side as they stroll off the tarmac. They’re both covertly armed to the teeth as a general precaution, but he trusts there will be no sinister intent behind a simple lunch. Surely, his appointment won’t mind. He likely won’t be attending alone either.

At the far end of the strip, a hired car is waiting. It’s relatively inconspicuous for the part of the city housing the restaurant, according to Simon’s research - a sleek, black SUV with windows tinted dark enough to hide any passengers, but passable enough to not draw attention.

Once in the city, it’s inherently obvious that there’s plenty of time to kill before the agreed upon hour. Place and time re-confirmed, the boys are turned loose to occupy themselves however they see fit, and Simon delves into the rows of local shops.

He finds things here and there; a pair of stunning leather boots, a box of cigars for Price, trinkets and treats he can share with his staff or gifts he can bring to gatherings so that he never greets his gracious hosts empty-handed. Even a little something for you, should all go according to plan. He smiles inwardly as he tucks the velvet box into the pocket of his slacks. It won’t replace the necklace you clearly adore, but he hopes you’ll wear it regardless.

After a quick trip back to their driver to leave their finds, the trio makes their way to the restaurant. Johnny and Kyle lag behind, keeping a respectable distance from Simon, whose eyes are immediately combing the patio for your father.

He spots him closer to the corner, sitting with his back to the wall. Two tables over, a pair of rather conspicuous men sit, cliché aviators perched in place while positioned to have a clear view of the upcoming interactions. Simon makes a mental note to wait until closer to the wedding to offer suggestions for higher quality detail. Assassinations are easier when you can gauge your obstacles so easily; trust him, he’d know.

In his periphery, he sees his companions select an empty table four over from the rent-a-cops. Kyle sits with his back to the table, glasses off. Johnny sits across from him, keeping his on to supply a reflective overview. Simon can’t help but crack the tiniest grin. He’s taught them well. They move as a singular unit when needed and rely on instinct over protocol. It’s the perfect display of how safe you’ll be with him. If he seems a little arrogant about it, that’s because he is.

Your father looks up from his phone and meets Simon’s eyes with an unspoken question. Simon tips his chin just once before the man stands, greeting him with a gracious smile.

“Ah, Mr. Riley… Pleasure to finally meet you.” He’s sincere in tone and offers his hand. Simon takes it without hesitation, giving it a firm shake while he shares the sentiment.

“You as well, sir.”

His smile widens a bit at that, and he gestures to the open chair, saying, “Please, sit.”

Simon takes the invitation, settling into the seat and the subsequent relatively meaningless small talk. They cycle through the basics before ordering their food and get a pinch more personal while they wait, discussing their respective hometowns and places their work has taken them. It isn’t until they’re digging into their plates that your father finally broaches the subject they’re both most anxious to discuss.

“As much as I’m enjoying getting to know you,” he begins, gaze not rising from his fork as it prods a pile of coconut rice. “I’m sure you didn’t fly halfway across the world just for that.”

“No, sir,” Simon responds. “I’m here to talk about your daughter.”

That draws the man’s attention, eyes finally meeting Simon’s with a subtle grin. It’s almost somewhat unsettling, like a cat finally catching that damn canary, though he’s unsure whether it’s him or you that owns the role of prey.

“But you already knew that, didn't you?”

“That I did,” he confirms, dabbing the corner of his mouth with his napkin. “Tell me, Simon, what exactly is it about my daughter that calls to the infamous Ghost?”

Simon pauses a moment, unsure of quite how to approach the response. He'd rather not tip his hand until he determines what sinisterity lies behind that predatory gaze. The mask your father is wearing at the moment is approaching uncanny, and a faint alarm bell sounds in the back of Simon’s mind.

“I only ask because, well, I never would��ve expected that a man of your stature would choose someone so… plain, shall we say? Don’t get me wrong, she’s a good girl, but she’s certainly not without her flaws. Stubborn, opinionated, talks too much, certainly far from the ideal housewife. And don’t get me started on how she takes care of herself. Really makes me wonder, Mr. Riley, what ulterior motives might you be hiding?”

“None, sir. Nothin’ I need from you that I can’t get myself.” Simon’s voice is flat as he tamps down the anger crawling beneath his skin. How does a real man speak ill of his own daughter so flagrantly? Does he really have no regard for you? He has half a mind to remove your father’s tongue after the wedding, if only for your sake.

“Pray tell, then.”

Simon scrubs a hand over his jaw before he answers, “Pretty girl. Smart from the sound of it. Doesn’t rely on attention from the public or ‘er daddy’s money. Ain’t lookin’ for a sweet little housewife; I like it when they bite back.”

“And you understand that she’s… How do I put this delicately?” He pauses. “She’s a bit bigger than what you'd consider a trophy wife."

Simon scoffs, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. Of course, he's aware of that. That's part of what drew him to you.

“Quite like a fuller figure. Don’t want a woman who’ll fuss over calories when I cook for ‘er.”

Your father mulls it over, chewing thoughtfully as he considers the words before him. Simon watches as the muscles in his jaw flex and reflex, and he swears he can hear the scales tipping back and forth as they try to find some balance.

Finally, he wipes his face with his napkin. His expression cracks into something adjacent to genuine, and that alarm gets just a little bit louder.

“I suppose this little meeting has reached its end.” He snaps his fingers twice as the waiter, gesturing for the check. Rude, in Simon’s opinion, but he bites his tongue.

“Sir?”

“I’ve got business to attend to back in the States, and by the sounds of it, a wedding to start planning.”

♡

part ii

[callofdudes]

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Autistic Reader headcanons.

A/N: I myself am not autistic but I do know a fair bit about it. So I figured I'd write headcanons before writing a fic just to dip my toes in and see if I can get it right.

I know that autism can present a bit differently for some things across different people. Please feel free to let me know if something in this list is not correct. ❤️

Ghost would be lying if he said he didn't give you extra special treatment apart from his other teammates. And it's well justified. Simon knows not to compare you to a child but he also knows that you need things the others don't.

Simon has picked up on subtle signs throughout the months working with you. How sometimes when things didn't go according to plan on base it would leave you more stressed out than it should have. Sometimes if your food wasn't what you had expected it to be, he'd notice how you'd react.

He eventually consulted your file before making any decisions. That's how he'd found out you are autistic.

Simon knew someone who was autistic, so he made sure to keep his eye close on you.

He noticed each little shift. How you would stim with your clothing or your hair, too embarrassed to carry a fidget toy around base. But that didn't matter to Simon. He made sure to take care of everything. He bought some fidget toys small enough to fit in his jacket and when in meetings or just sitting around, he'd pull a toy like magic from his pocket and hand it over.

You'd been incredibly grateful the first few times, and then it just became routine that Simon would carry around the toys for you and have one on hand whenever you needed.

He also noticed which ones you liked, and didn't like. Some you would hand back because they didn't feel right on your fingers. Others clicked and slid in a way you didn't quite like, and he kept a tab of that. He compared fidget toys you did like to similar ones and was very precise every time he got you a new one.

He made sure that in every environment he was nearby. How you'd react to the lights, different sounds. How you'd react when it got to loud and crowded or too quiet. What noises bugged you and what calmed you.

When on missions, Simon made sure to talk you through each step. He thought his voice would help you to face the unexpected. Telling you where to go and exactly what to do, ready to face any situation.

"Take a deep breath y/n, you're doing great. Two Shadows on your left, you can take them out from where you are without being spotted"

Your level of empathy and emotional awareness was also something he had to take into account. You could sensitive to anger. You could feel a great deal of empathy and almost take on the burden of It being your fault even if you had nothing to do with it. Because of this, Simon made sure that you were aware his anger was never on you.

"Simon? Did I do something wrong? You looked really upset when you looked at me earlier and I just thought that maybe-"

Simon places his hand on your shoulder. "No no, just had a rough morning. You did absolutely nothing wrong. Got it?"

Simon has also become much more aware of how he teases you. You were emotionally aware to the point that you very clearly understood Simon would joke about being hurt, or would make fun of you and it was all jokes. He understood that you understood how his emotions worked as well.

But there was the occasional time where Simon would pretend to be hurt by your words and you'd have genuine regret. It doesn't happen as often as he would have thought, but when it does, he's right there to reassure you he is completely fine.

Simon actually gets more upset than you do when people call you a child wrapped up in an adults body with a nice little bow on top. Of course you have your traits but Simon has seen your hobbies and interests. You're no super genius but you are more than a child. You just have a different trajectory point on life's train tracks. And Simon makes sure to remind anyone he doesn't think is being respectful of you as a person.

Nightmares can affect you more harshly because of your emotional investment with things and the people around you.

The first time Simon saw you become overstimulated he was a little scared he'll be honest. He panicked a little bit. But now he knows exactly what to do. At first he tried to comfort you, allowing you to be swallowed up in his embrace, he crushed you tightly in his arms and smoothed his hands over your muscles. It would sometimes take a while for you to come down from your high, but he was there for every moment.

When he becomes a bit better at knowing how to handle a situation when you get over stimulated the process is smoother. Simon will notice how you can completely shut down. Sometimes it's near a meltdown with tears flowing everywhere. And other times you just disconnect. You don't move, don't speak, completely distant. Simon approaches you gently and picks you up in his arms.

"This ok?" He whispers near your ear as to not startle you. You cling to him tightly, burying your head in his neck. "Alright, come on, you've had a long day."

He rubs your back and brings you to your room. If you're away from base he just finds a separate room that is quiet. Anywhere he can go to separate the noise and bustling energy from you. If you're in your room he'll lay you down and just get you to relax.

Tears flow down your cheeks, hands still clasping the material of Simon's hoodie. Simon gently rubs your collar and down over your shoulders. He presses on different parts of your arms until you relax. "Take a deep breath. Take a deep breath." Simon breathes in deeply, prompting you to mimick. He wipes the tears from your cheeks and fetches your heavier blanket from the end of the bed. "See? You're ok."

He grabs your fidget from your desk and place it in your hand, or sometimes he'll lean over you and allow you to play with his sweater.

He talks softly and calmly, he does know kinder and softer words of reassurance help.

Sometimes all you want to do is hug Simon under the warmth of your weighted blanket, his arms wrapped around you like mountains compressing you from all angles.

And sometimes Simon will shut the door, lay you on your back and lay the weighted blanket just above the bend in the bottom of your spine. If you want a fidget toy he'll get you one to distract your hands while he runs soothing motions along your muscles, feeling them relax and contract. He plays white Noise in the background for you, or he'll give you his phone so you can watch soap cutting videos or other visually satisfying things.

"How are you doing?" He whispers near your ear, thumbs rubbing over your stomach and up around your back to cup your shoulder blades. "Look at it." You flip the phone to show a satisfying paint video. "Oh, that's a cool one isn't it?" You nod and go back to watching it.

Wherever Simon got so good at doing massages, you would not change it for the world. You've expressed before how nice they feel and how they calm you down. And Simon continues to do them.

Simon always makes sure that when you're over stimulated you have something to do with your hands. Again, if you want to play with his hoodie he'll stay with you so you can. If you want to run your hands through his hair, he's become comfortable enough to allow it.

"What are you doing up there?" He asks with a smile. You hum, combing your fingers through the short hair of his nape and up into the longer locks. "Soft." You express the feeling over your fingertips. "Yeah? I did shower." "I like your hair."

The occasional times you go nonverbal and are unsure how to express your needs, Simon will pull out a few toys and just crawl up next to you. He holds out his hoodie strings and comb his fingers through your hair.

He lays next to you, holding up one of the fidget toys. You gently take it and allow your fingers to move over it. Simon stays, fingers moving to drift through your scalp. You abandon the toy quicker than he expected and reach for his hoodie. "Oh you want this?" He smiles and moves closer so you can play with the strings of his hoodie.

Simon knows that you are incredibly passionate about what makes you happy. He often bugs you that you never shut up, but he knows you love it. One time when you both couldn't sleep early on the morning, Simon made you both tea and sat silently while you went on for nearly four hours about the lore of your favorite game/movie/TV show. He'd add little key points and poke out certain details, which would lead you down a detailed side rant before coming back to wrap everything up. The conversations would ring you dry of information. Simon would be lying if he said he didn't like it when you info dumped on him.

It was one of your ways you expressed your love. Sharing these things that made you so incredibly happy and Simon wanted to be a part of that.

Simon is still learning, and honestly he's very happy to learn. Sometimes he gets things right and sometimes he doesn't. But he is always here to make sure you get the care and provision you need. Whether it's taking a step back or a step in.

[skamenglishsubs]

Subtext and Culture, Young Royals, Season 3, Episode 5

Episode 5 starts sometime after August dropped the bombshell about Erik at the end of last episode, and Wilhelm decides for some reason to visit the party palace, in order to make himself feel extra shit? I don't know what's going on here.

Blink and you miss it: Hey, that's one of the clown masks they used for Wilhelm's initiation back in season 1.

Blink and you miss it: Henry and Valter are doing a class presentation on rhetorical analysis, and for some reason they chose former US president George W. Bush as their subject, which is pretty hilarious given that he was a notoriously bad public speaker.

Blink and you miss it: Instead of asking Wilhelm, who is sitting right next to Simon, how he's feeling, he writes the question in his notebook and slides it over.

Subtext: Gotta keep up that facade and bottle all the negative feelings inside!

Lost in translation: Vincent uses the word "nyanländ", "newly arrived", which is the current politically correct way of saying immigrant.

Subtext: ...but in typical bully fashion he asks the target of the racist "joke" if it was funny, and Marwan obviously lies about it as to not upset Vincent.

Subtext: Felice tries to play it off as no big deal, but she actually wants this opportunity to spend time with Sara without her other friends, in order to rebuild the friendship.

Subtext: Sara is right to be suspicious of her dad, because he is a lot more energetic than usual, and excuses his behaviour by him simply being in a good mood. It's probably his new medication that kicked in, though.

Subtext: Speaking of having a hard time showing weakness, that's exactly what Wilhelm's been struggling with by not telling Simon how upset he is about having learned that Erik took part in the gay porn initiation.

Subtext: So the whole subplot of the past four episodes was that the school locked up all the phones, and Wilhelm joined the little strike to get them back, pissing Simon off in the meantime, and now that they have their phones back he's not picking up when Simon is calling him? Not cool.

Culture: The choir is practising "En vänlig grönskas rika dräkt", a Swedish hymnal with text from 1889, but this version of the melody is from the 1930's and composed by Waldemar Åhlén. It's a very well-known summer song that pretty much every Swedish schoolkid has sung at some end-of-schoolyear summer assembly.

Cinematography: We're in the cursed music room, and this time the lighting is harsh and sharp, Wilhelm is in stark contrast to the rest of the room, there's no soft golden light smoothing things out, so we're gonna have an argument!

Subtext: Yeah, no, Wilhelm, sweetie, that's projection, that's what you are thinking about your brother. Simon isn't doing anything wrong here, he's just concerned about you being a moody asshole.

Cinematography: To illustrate how the relationship is going south, the music room which used to be full of instruments, is just getting emptier and emptier, and Simon is left standing alone at the piano.

Subtext: No, he's not feeling ok, and no, he's not interested in making up with Sara right now, because he's still angry at her.

Subtext: There are different kinds of homophobia, for example, there are people who talk loudly about how accepting they are of The Gays, but who react negatively when someone close to them comes out, because they were only fine with it at a distance. And then there are people who are ignorantly homophobic in general, but who turn out to be supportive of anyone close to them who comes out, because they know that that person isn't like The Other Gays. Shitty, but less shitty than the first group, and I think that's how Erik would have reacted had he known about Wilhelm.

Culture: In Sweden, you do the practical driving test in a car provided by the testing centre to make it fair and equal for everyone. These cars all have a red sticker saying they're for driving tests.

Subtext: Micke is failing exactly how he described it in an earlier episode. He's on new medication, it made him feel good and like he was in control, so he thought he could take just one beer with his friends.

Subtext: No, it fits horribly, and you can clearly see that it was on sale and that the price tag is still on it. But this is what Linda can afford.

Lost in translation: Simon actually says "jag vet", "I know", when Sara tells him that their dad let her down and that she is sad and upset about it.

Subtext: Unlike Simon who got a cheap suit on sale, Wilhelm just has his perfectly tailored suit delivered to him by his bodyguards.

Subtext: Last episode Wilhelm picked a sport charity or something that he doesn't actually care about, because he thought it would best fit the narrative the royal court is going for. So now his internal homophobia is screaming at him to remove the nail polish, because it doesn't fit that image.

I don't know what this is: This has got to be an editing goof? This sequence of events doesn't work. Everyone else is up and about, preparing the third year's dinner with the teachers and they're even cooking the food with a chef, but it's early morning and Wilhelm is still sleeping in? Anyway, the whole thing is yet another example of how the school teaches hierarchy. As a younger student you service the older students, and when it's your turn to graduate, someone younger will service you.

Throwback: Aww, Simon made Wilhelm a sandwich, just like Wilhelm made one for Simon a bunch of times in previous seasons.

Culture: Man, early summer in Sweden is beautiful, isn't it? This was shot at Åkeshofs Slott in Stockholm, and if you do a 180 turn on that path, you'll see the subway station Åkeshov, and if you go through the tunnel under the road and then up to your right, you'll end up at a sports centre where I went twice a week as a kid for fencing training!

This tumblr is now about French school fencing! Doublé! Riposte!

Subtext: Time and time again the show has shown us how much August loves this shit, and that he wasn't lying when he said he knew everyone, because clearly he does!

Subtext: And to show how much Wilhelm dislikes this shit, he is so stiff when talking to the invited kids who are actually benefitting from his charity foundation, while August just immediately jokes around with them and is much more comfortable.

Culture: I've seen how a lot of fans think that the flower Wilhelm is wearing is a green carnation, which is a symbol for being gay, popularized by Oscar Wilde. I don't think so, that's not a thing in Sweden as far as I know. Instead, I think it's an alternate version of a Majblomma, which is an actual Swedish charity thing, where you can buy these plastic lapel flowers from schoolkids to show your support around this time of year.

Subtext: Even though Simon is there, he's being shoved to the back, because his presence doesn't fit the narrative. If Wilhelm instead had chosen to start some kind of LGBT charity, Simon would have had a much more prominent role. Oh, and poison or not, that Princess Cake looks delicious!

Subtext: Farima is expertly letting August down, who of course pretends that he's not the least bit disappointed at being excluded from having dinner at the royal palace.

Blink and you miss it: IT'S LISA! HI LISA!

Culture: Kalle Stropp och Grodan Boll are two characters from a radio show for kids from the 1940's, but they've also been featured in books, comic books, a live action movie, and animated cartoons. It's about the two titular characters, a cricket and a frog, and their adventures. The last movie was made in the 1990's though, so I'm not so sure kids these days knows who these characters are. Personally, I can't hear this song without hearing their silly character voices.

Subtext: The Queen is still keeping up appearances and lying through her teeth about how she's actually feeling.

Culture: In real world Sweden, Victoriadagen is celebrated in mid July when Crown Princess Victoria has her birthday, she hands out a sports award, there's a concert, some charity stuff, and you can sort of meet the royals or sing her happy birthday or something.

Subtext: August is repeating the excuse Farima used on him as to why he didn't attend the birthday dinner.

Blink and you miss it: That's a Rolex Oyster Perpetual GMT-Master II. It's only about $10,000 and change.

Subtext: Simon, sweetie, I don't think the royals have any clue as to what "the usual" means when you're describing how regular people celebrate birthdays.

Culture: Simon actually says Laserdome, which is a company in Sweden that has been running laser tag arenas since the 1990's. I had no idea they still existed!

Culture: They're singing Lambo, a drinking song for students. It's a challenge song, so while the rest of the table sings, the target has to finish their glass, correctly sing the response lines, and turn the glass upside down over their head. If you fail, like August does in this scene, you have to do a penalty round and chug another glass.

Subtext: ...before her parents heaped all of their family's expectations on her. But maybe if Felice can break free she could pursue her actual dreams?

Throwback: Remember the scene in S1E3 when Simon is practising the Hillerska song in the music room?

Subtext: Queenie, sweetie, you're not looking Wilhelm in the eyes, you're not engaging in the discussion, and the only thing you do is to talk about Erik every chance you get. No wonder Wilhelm has had enough and explodes at his parents.

Blink and you miss it: Vincent won the "Daddy pays" award. Pappa betalar.

Subtext: In this context the award just means that he's the image of a bad boy, a player. But throughout the season, August has been struggling with whether or not he's actually a bad person, which is why he's not exactly happy with the award.

Cinematography: Fuck me that's a pretty shot of a typical summer sunset. In late May in the Stockholm area, sunset happens at around 9:30 in the evenings.

Subtext: One more explanation for August's body dysmorphia is that he got bullied for being weak and scrawny when he first started at Hillerska, so he decided to start working out more.

Blink and you miss it: The reason Fredrika is outside and happens to see Sara and August kiss, is because she's trying to sneak away the bottle of wine she stole earlier from the kitchen.

Subtext: And the reason Felice looks upset when Fredrika tells her what she saw is because she truly thought Sara was over August, and that's a condition of them reconciling.

Blink and you miss it: Wilhelm plays the first few notes of the original Hillerska song.

Subtext: And to cap off this terrible no-good horrible cliffhanger episode, Simon breaks up with Wilhelm by repeating the words his mom said to him earlier in the episode.

[specialagentlokitty]

Negan x reader - trade skill

Hello. I was wondering if you could please do Negan X reader, where Negan is unable to find Lucille and thinks that someone has taken her. So he has people to search every area in Alexandria (I think it is), only to later find out that Y/N took Lucille in order to clean and repair her, and accidentally forgot to notify him. - Anon💜

You didn’t know why a lot of the saviours were taken to Alexandria, you had a thought maybe it had something to do with Rick not doing what he was supposed to be doing.

You weren’t all too sure but you didn’t really have the time to find out either, you were busy with your own project which is why you refused Dwight when he came to get you to go with him.

Was it the smartest choice?

Definitely not, and you knew you were going to get it in the neck from him and most likely Negan after, but you were always in some kind of trouble.

Sitting on your bed, you picked up the pair of wire cutters, carefully getting ready to cut the barbed wire.

You had already caught your arm once, you just tired a bandanna around it and carried on working.

You had to be careful, you didn’t was to break it, and you had to do everything exactly right otherwise you would be more screwed than you were going to be.

Setting the old barbed wire aside on the floor, you picked up the new one and looked at it.

It was a little rusted with the weather, but it was in a lot better condition than the other one.

Wrapping it around like the other was, you nodded to yourself a little.

Setting the bat aside, you got up, grabbing everything you had been using to fix it you shoved it into a box and left the room.

Making your way down to where the workers were, you walked over and set the box down.

“I’ve not used it all so I’m sure someone can get some use out of it.” You said.

The man looked up, nodding her head as she set the box on the floor.

Humming to yourself, you began to browse through the other things that were laid out on the table, looking for something of interest.

Finding nothing, you decided to head outside instead, looking for some part of a fallen tree or a decent sized branch for a new project.

“Hey (Y/N)?”

You looked to one of the other saviours.

“We got problem with the walkers out front, a few got free somehow.”

You sighed, stopped what you were doing and you pulled out your knife, following him to the front where some of the walkers were banging on the fence.

“You said a fucking few, this is a mini horde dumbass.”

He just shrugged and you glared at him.

“Go get the fucking pole idiot.”

He grabbed the pole and you tried to make quick work of clearing the walkers that were building up.

You heard the cars and trucks pulling up and you ignored it, stabbing the final walker in the head, you turned to the man who went to leave.

“Not so fast, you’re waiting here I’ll deal with your ass in a minute.”

Opening the gate, you walked through the bodies, maybe your way to the far end of the fence, slowly looking along it.

For the walkers to get in the gap would have had to be pretty big, so it wasn’t hard to finally find it.

Kneeling down, you carefully inspected the fence and grabbed some zip ties from your jacket to seal it temporarily for now.

Making your way back over you looked at Simon.

“Sort your dumbass out Simon, this fucker hasn’t been checking the fence, there’s a massive hole.”

“You fix things, you sort it.” He said.

“Not my job asshole.”

He stuck his middle finger up at you and you did the same thing, walking over to the doors to head back inside but you stopped by Dwight.

“What was the trip about anyway?”

He glanced at you.

“He’s pissed someone took that stupid bat of his, I’d stay clear.”

You slowly nodded your head and glanced at the leader.

You had three options, either sneak the bat back into his room, leave it somewhere for someone else or come clean.

You didn’t want someone else to take the heat for your actions, and you couldn’t exactly sneak it into his room so with a heavy sigh, you walked over to where he was stood.

“Negan?”

“What?” He snapped.

He turned around and glared at you and you subconsciously took a step back.

“I know where Lucille is…” you mumbled.

“Where?!”

“I uh… could you follow me?”

Negan didn’t say anything as he trailed behind you, and you took his to your room, opening the door and you gestured to the table.

He walked inside, picking up the bat, carefully inspecting it.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing with her?”

He slowly turned around and you stepped inside the room, closing the door so nobody passing by could look in.

“I uh.. I forgot to tell you…”

“What the fuck were you doing with her?” He growled out.

You sighed, heading under your table you pulled out a box and set it down, showing him to contents.

“I noticed that Lucille was breaking, and you left her on the table so I decided to fix her and forgot to tell you.”

“Why?”

You shrugged a little.

“I like fixing things a guess, plus you wouldn’t be Negan without Lucille.”

Negan stared at you and you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, but you could feel his eyes practically burning into you.

You couldn’t tell if he was still angry or not, and part of you didn’t want to know.

At least if he wanted to kill you for taking his beloved bat then you wouldn’t see it coming so it would make it easier.

“Look at me.”

You took the box, setting it back under the table and began to inspect a few of your things, just doing anything to avoid looking at him.

“I said look. At. Me.”

You turned around, connecting your eyes with his, he wore a blank expression and you watched as he slowly began to grin.

It was that grin that sent a chill down your spine, the same grin that you knew was the last thing some people saw.

“She looks just as good as the first day I made her, shit (Y/N), if I knew you were so handy I woulda moved you ranks ages ago.”

He put the bat on his shoulder, stuffing a hand in his pocket as he looked at you.

“What do you want? Name me one thing and it’s yours.”

“Anything?”

“Damn straight.”

You went quiet for a moment.

“You got anything else I can fix?”

Negan blinked a little in confusion.

“I just gave you permission to ask for anything, anything you fuckin’ want, anything at all, and you want to fix shit?”

You shrugged a little and he laughed.

“Fucking weird as ball man, but alright. I got a few things for you, you’re to return them directly to me.”

“Yes sir.”

Negan began looking around at a few things you had already repaired and made.

It was why he kept you around at first, you were just handy when it came to fixing something that had broke.

He turned around to look over at you.

“How’d you know how to fix her?”

You paused what you were doing.

“My dad owned a repair shop, mostly just household shit, but he could fix up other crap too, loved baseball.”

Negan slowly nodded his head.

“Next time you take Lucille without asked I’ll start breaking fingers.”

“Understood.”

He smirked at you, and he picked up a little figurine you had fixed of a baseball player you didn’t even know the name to.

“I’m taking this too.”

With that he left and you let out a sigh of relief.

Maybe you shouldn’t have drawn more attention to yourself, but in the world it was now, you needed to have people you could rely on, so you needed to prove yourself to Negan if you wanted a chance of being kept around and surviving.

Maybe you didn’t agree with how he did things, but you sometimes had to do these things in order to survive

[sinkovia]

Black Market: III

Hitman Simon Riley x Doctor Fem!Reader

In desperate need of money to clear a million-dollar debt, you accept Simon's offer to become his personal doctor, earning twenty percent of each contract he completes. But as you plunge back into the black market, ghosts from your past emerge, threatening to unravel everything you've worked so hard to run away from.

Mention of sexual assault, mention of Simon Riley's canon backstory, light angst.

Masterlist - Black Market Masterlist

A few weeks passed and with thousands of dollars now sitting in your bank account, you began to reassess the deal you had made with Simon, realizing that it wasn't as terrible as you had initially thought. Slowly, you found yourself lowering your defenses and growing more at ease in his presence and the space around you.

Simon respected your wish to not accompany him on contracts, so you found yourself reluctantly harvesting organs from someone he had killed just minutes ago. It was a grim task, but you saw it as the least you could do for him being so cooperative with your demands.

As you worked, Simon leaned against the counter, watching you tear apart the insides of the man and carefully placing his organs into iced containers. "Thought you wanted to save lives? Here you are tearing into a man I only killed minutes ago," he teased, a smirk playing on his lips. You rolled your eyes at his comment.

"You offered me twenty thousand knowing I'm in desperate need of money. You're a sick man, Simon," you retorted, continuing your work without missing a beat. Simon simply smiled, crossing his muscular arms over his chest.

He looked at the dead man split in half on the table and then to you, marveling at your focused precision and fast hands as you expertly took him apart.

"You think you could've brought him back?" he asked, a hint of curiosity in his voice. You smiled as you took out the last part, carefully placing his heart in the ice chest and sealing the container shut. Then, you turned to Simon, your smile lingering.

"I know I could have," you replied confidently. "But he would have been brain dead."

With that, you took off your gloves and sighed before heading up the steps to your bedroom for a much-needed shower. Simon remained in the basement, his mind swirling with questions about you. He had never cared for anyone before; his life had revolved around accepting contracts and killing people for money. 

No socializing, no interests, no curiosity for other people. But you were different. There was something about you that intrigued him, something that made him want to peel back the layers and uncover your past.

Simon formed a plan in his head to extract any sliver of information from you that would allow him to delve into your history. He needed to know what made you such a skilled doctor at such a young age, considering that medical school takes years of study and experience to achieve the level of proficiency you display. 

You were lying in bed, engrossed in the book that Simon had so graciously bought for you when the savory aroma of garlic and herbs wafted into the room.

Your stomach grumbled in response, prompting you to abandon your reading and make your way to the kitchen. Simon looked up as he set two plates down on the dining table.

"Made you dinner to make up for earlier,"

You raised a skeptical eyebrow as you surveyed the meal before you, but your doubts vanished the moment you took the first bite. "Holy shit, I didn't think you knew how to cook like this," genuine surprise evident in your tone.

A smile tugged at Simon's lips at your reaction. "Wanted to be a cook when I was younger," he admitted casually.

Which hadn’t been a lie, when he was younger he dreamed of opening his own restaurant.

Your eyebrows raised at his revelation. You hadn't expected him to be so open about himself. Relaxing into your chair, you took a sip of wine before sharing a bit of your own past. "I wanted to be a florist."

Simon's interest was piqued, finally getting a glimpse into your backstory. "Florist to surgeon? Pretty different occupations," he remarked, taking a sip of his own wine.

You laughed as you finished your glass and reached for the bottle to pour yourself more. "From a cook to a hitman?" you teased lightly.

Simon grinned in response. "Fair enough.”

Curious about what had steered him away from his childhood dream, you prodded gently, "What steered you away?"

Simon's expression shifted briefly, a flicker of memories passing through his eyes as he glanced down at his plate. "Different circumstances,"

Reflecting on your own past, you nodded in understanding. "Yeah, me too," you murmured, the weight of shared experiences hanging in the air between you.

As the evening wore on and a few more glasses of wine were shared between you and Simon, you found yourself loosening up. Eventually, you began to vent about your past jobs, particularly about a hospital where the nurses were brain dead fucks. You launched into a rant about all of them, each one seemingly worse than the last.

Simon listened intently, his grin widening as he realized the wealth of information you were unwittingly providing him. With each complaint, he mentally cataloged the names and details, knowing that he now had enough clues to get a glimpse into your past.

That night as you slept upstairs, Simon delved into the depths of the internet, scouring through various websites until he stumbled upon a list of old employers associated with your previous job. It didn't take long for him to piece together the missing parts of your identity, and soon enough, he discovered your last name.

Simon navigated through the dark web, his fingers typing in your name with a mixture of curiosity. What he found made his stomach clench.

Before him lay a website, one he was all too familiar with, an organization specializing in sex work. As he scrolled through, he saw old listings featuring you, offering your services for hire. He glanced away when he clicked on a link and saw pictures of you dressed in scant clothing, your eyes reflecting a mixture of exhaustion and fear.

You were only a teenager, no older than seventeen.

His eyes read over an old listing offering a hefty reward for anyone who could locate and return you to them. 

It didn't even cross his mind to entertain the idea of betraying you. In his eyes, you were worth infinitely more than any sum of money or reward. As he sat there, reflecting on your past and the horrors you endured, he couldn't fathom the thought of dragging you back into that nightmarish world.

Your value to him went beyond any material gain, your skill as a doctor made you irreplaceable. And as someone who understood the pain of being used, he couldn't bear the thought of subjecting you to that kind of life again.

With a heavy sigh, he leaned back in his chair, everything suddenly made sense, your reluctance to work for him, your aversion to joining him on contracts.

He hadn't expected you to be remotely tied to the black market, let alone be a victim of it. He had unknowingly brought you back to a world you were desperately trying to escape.

You find yourself unable to sleep, plagued by a throbbing headache that refuses to go away. Desperate for relief, you make your way down to the basement in search of Advil, hoping it will alleviate the pounding in your head. As you reach the last step of the basement you see simon at his desk with his back turned toward you.

Your eyes glance at the computer screen and your heart plummets.

Images of your younger self, captured and exploited, sold into a life of servitude and suffering. The shock of seeing your own face reflected back at you in such a vulnerable state leaves you reeling, the pain in your head momentarily forgotten in the wake of this unwelcome intrusion into your past.

"Happy with what you found?" The words escaped your lips before you could stop them, your voice tinged with bitterness. Simon's startled expression told you he hadn't anticipated your arrival, his eyes wide with a mix of surprise and guilt.

"Just wanted to know who you were… wanted to know why you didn’t want to work for me," he explained, his voice tinged with a hint of remorse.

You couldn't tear your gaze away from the screen, the images of your younger self serving as a painful reminder of the horrors you endured.

"Sometimes people want their lives and past to be private," you murmured, your words heavy with the weight of years of suffering and trauma.

Simon knew that feeling better than anyone.

"I'm sorry," Simon offered, his apology hanging in the air like a fragile thread.

"No, you're not," you muttered bitterly, turning away and ascending the steps. As you disappeared from view, he sighed heavily, sinking back into his chair.

“Fuckin hell.”

The next morning, you found Simon waiting for you with breakfast prepared, a silent acknowledgment of his attempt to bridge the gap between you. Awkwardly, you took your seat at the table, the tension between you thick as you both ate in silence. The weight of his invasion of your privacy hung heavily in the air.

But then, as if unable to bear the tension any longer, Simon spoke up, his voice carrying the weight of his own past.

"The reason I didn't pursue my dream as a kid was because I enlisted in the military… my captain sold me out and I was captured, tortured, and used... anything to break my will and force me into blind obedience to their commands."

"I escaped," he continued, "After being buried alive and digging my way out with the jaw of the rotting corpse I was buried with. I made it home, went to therapy, and fixed my family troubles."

As he spoke, you could feel the weight of his trauma, the scars etched into his very being. "My teammates were also captured, but they were brainwashed. When I returned home one night, I found my family dead, my former team being responsible for their deaths. I hunted them down with the help of the black market and killed them. Since then, I've remained in this line of work.."

You sat there in stunned silence, his words sinking in like heavy stones in a pond. Simon continued to eat as if what he had just revealed was just another fact of life.

In that moment, you realized he already knew so much about your past; perhaps it was time to lay it all bare. With a heavy heart, you met his gaze, finding a shared understanding in the depths of his eyes.

“I was seventeen when a few men broke into my house one night, dragged me and my parents into the living room, and made me watch as they tortured my dad and had their way with my mom before killing the both of them.”

Your focus shifted to the small droplets of water falling against the side of your cup, each one mirroring the weight of the memories you carried.

“I was sold around before I made my way to the organization you were looking at last night. There was a group of us, we were sold to different men for our services.” The room fell silent as you paused, your gaze dropping to your lap for a few moments.

Simon, ever perceptive, sensed your discomfort in revisiting those painful moments from your past. “You don't have to talk about it, love,” he said gently, his voice carrying an understanding tone. “I understand—”

“A lot of the girls were rebellious, so they would get taught lessons,” you cut him off, your voice carrying the weight of each painful memory.

“That's where I learned how to patch up the girls with very little supplies. The man in charge noticed, so he made me start patching up the men who worked for him.” You picked at the skin around your nails as you furrowed your brows. Simon’s gaze never left you, his eyes bouncing over your facial expressions.

“Their injuries weren’t just simple scratches and cuts. They would get stabbed, or shot, and when I failed to save one of them, he made me watch as he tortured one of the girls, killing her slowly as my punishment… It happened two more times after that. I wasn't a fucking surgeon, I didn't know what I was doing.” you recounted, your now fingers picking at the hem of the place mat, the memories still haunting you.

“My lack of skill resulted in the deaths of three girls. I spent five years there, playing doctor for him when he needed it and earning him money with my services. During one of my transports for a service, the car was attacked by one of their rivals, which allowed me to escape. Now I'm here.”

The weight of those years is heavy in your voice. The barriers between you seemed to dissolve, replaced by a shared understanding of the pain and suffering you both carried within you.

"I became skilled out of necessity; failure meant the death of innocent girls."

You took a deep breath before locking eyes with him. “I'm sorry about what happened to you and your family. You didn't deserve that."

You paused for a second before continuing, "I wish you never enlisted.” His brows furrowed as he studied your expression. “Why?”

“Because you’d be working at some restaurant, and I would have never met you or been dragged back into this business.” Simon exhaled deeply, leaning back in his chair.

“You're safe here. We're nowhere near Russia, and if someone tried to fulfill the contract, I’d be here to protect you.” You furrowed your brows, your voice tinged with confusion. “What contract?”

“There’s an eight hundred thousand dollar contract open to whoever can deliver you back to Finn.” Your expression twisted with disgust at the mention of his name, recalling the fear he instilled in you for years.

“When was the contract posted?” Simon shook his head. “Years ago.” You nodded slowly as you picked at your food with your fork.

“I'm sorry, for digging into your past and dragging you back into this, you didn’t deserve that. If you want to leave you can.”  You smiled and scoffed, “And pass up a free bodyguard, free five-star meals, and easy money? Yeah right.” Simon laughed and you smiled.

“Resourceful girl.”

“What can I say.” 

You finished off your breakfast with a comfortable silence and some light back and forth about a new contract Simon was thinking about accepting. Simon picked up both plates and rinsed them off before putting them in the dishwasher.

“A colleague of mine is coming in two weeks or so, he’s going to help me with a contract.” 

You hummed and nodded your head, “Where is he going to stay?”

Simon grabbed a bowl of fruit out of the fridge and started picking at it. “He’s staying here.” You furrowed your brows and leaned against the counter next to Simon, your arm grazing his slightly as you reached for a strawberry in the bowl.

He watched as you brought the plump strawberry to your lips, looking away before you glanced back up at him. “What’s he like?”

“Don’t worry, you're safe around him, he is Scottish though.” You lifted your brow as you looked up at him, “Is being Scottish bad?”

“Bastard will talk your ear off.” 

Black market tag list: @shinchanboi @talooolaaloolla @lieutenantlashfaz @neothewitch @birdienotting @jupiternighties @samiiii333 @silverianni @elowynnlane @lotionlamp @ssc7514 @iloveloveeducks @rejectedbytheempty

If you want to be added or removed from the main tag list or the Black market tag list just lmk!

[dollypopup]

I know what happened, the writers didn't know what to do with a male lead that wasn't Simon and Anthony. Simon had to deal with the trauma, neglect and anger towards his father. Anthony also had major trauma dealing with his father's death and mother's depression.

Colin? They didn't get into his deal. Not really. They were like "Oh, it's Colin. He has no deep dark issues we can explore."

And they left it there, not realizing that a 20 something guy who has no wait time and really wants to do stuff can and will cause all sorts of chaos and no, I'm not talking about the brothel.

It's Colin Bridgerton. The boy breaks things. Let him.

Truthfully? I think it's a lot of things.

I agree that the writers had no idea what to do with Colin, but he *does* have issues to explore. He does have depth. And it's more than just chaos and breaking things.

Colin's story could have spoken to so many people. How many of us have our lives figured out by the time we're 23? He's a middle child in a family of overachievers, in a family where roles have been snatched up already. Anthony is the leader, Benedict is the artistic one, Daphne is sparkling perfect, Eloise is outspoken, Fran is musically gifted, Hy and Greg are just children, but Greg's got determination and Hyacinth has so much sass and fun spirit.

What does Colin have?

How much better it would have been if there was even ONE writer in that room who loved him and understood him. Colin who is lonely. Colin who is young and unsure of himself. Colin who has been rejected. Pretty boy Colin that no one wants to listen to, who no one takes serious. Colin who stumbles through everything, just trying to be helpful. Useful, kind hearted Colin, who does his best and it never pans out for him. Colin who knows how to apologize, the ONLY ONE who knows how to properly apologize, because he has had to have so much practice in it before. Colin who has had his heart broken. Colin who has been lied to. Colin who has to build his trust up again, only to have it broken anew by Penelope when he realizes he's in love with her and she's been Lady Whistledown this whole time? That he can't *stop* loving her, even if his trust is in pieces? That he tries to understand?

How many of us are out here in the same boat? Earnest, good intentions, trying not to hurt anyone- pushed to the side? Unsure of our futures, doing our best?

They could have leaned into his neurodivergence- Colin who needs extra time to respond, who writes down and rehearses what he should say, who practices to fit in, who masks in society. Colin who can be himself around people he trusts and only them- even still feeling like they don't completely understand him.

Colin who hardly anyone wrote to. Colin who loves so deeply, and just wants someone to love him back in the same efforts.

Colin *does* have trauma. Colin has pain he can't voice. Colin cries alone in his bed. Colin tells everyone he's fine. Colin stops talking about his travels and his interests- no one cares. Colin brings ease to his mother, who went catatonic after his father passed when he was 12, and he smiles at her and brings her a beautiful gift and does his best to ease her. Colin compartmentalizes. Colin deals with his concerns alone. Colin is afraid to open up completely.

There is so, so much depth and beauty and relatability and humanity in Colin's story, in his narrative. There is so much to explore. Colin who smiles and laughs and looks to ease people, knowing that he likely had to take on such a role after his father passed. Colin who would rather be an outcast than the center of attention, bonding with Fran. Colin who respects Eloise's passions, bringing her feminist text and listening to her, who didn't tell anyone about how she went to the printers, who didn't disapprove, who supported her. Colin who just wants his brother Anthony's approval, too, and never gets it, no matter what he does. Colin who relates so much to Benedict, the both of them with an artists heart, but doesn't tell him, doesn't break open to confess what weighs heavy on his heart. Colin who watches over Hy and Greg in every scene they're in together, but is never overbearing as a protector. Colin who is tender and sensitive like his mum. Colin who holds the mirror to Penelope in reflection- well intentioned but fumbling, kind but ignored, but also in distortion- lost where she is sure, hypervisible for his exterior and neglected for his interior to her invisible exterior, though everyone listens in to her thoughts.

Colin who loves Penelope, so so deeply, who believes she would never forsake him, only to realize that yes, she would. Yes, she has. And Colin who, instead of cradling this heartbreak, puts himself aside to apologize, only to be lied to once again. Colin who *loves* in every definition of the world, so selflessly, and even when it blows up in his face, decides it was worth it because at least he *tried*.

Colin who tries. Tries and tries and tries, puts forth so much effort, rarely reciprocated.

How many of us can relate to that? How poignant would that have been to see? A man growing up, sloughing off the expectations of his society because at the core of him, he's a lover, a romantic, a dreamer, and he's been raised and influenced by the women in his life so he respects them and listens, who is coming into his own and struggling with his masculinity in a patriarchal society, who doesn't know what he's doing, who feels embarrassed and other.

I love Chaos Colin. Colin who goes in with his heart in his hands, no matter how many times it's been broken. Earnest, open, eager Colin.

But he's even more than that. There's so much to him.

I think the writers didn't know what to do with him, or they were afraid to fully lean into his story. They were influenced too much by a cruel fanbase who hated on him consistently for absolutely terrible reasons, for one mistake, one line, and his character suffered as a result. His actor suffered as a result. And honestly, I do genuinely think there was ableism involved. They even said they rewrote some extra Colin scenes in (like the willow and marketplace) because Jess saw Luke Newton perform Shape of Things and realized just how wide his range was. Why not write to the fullest? If you can't support and believe in your actor, why cast him? Especially when Luke Newton acted the HELL out of Colin. He did more building of Colin's character than anyone else

If the writers weren't ready to dig into him, I just wish they left him be, you know? If you can't love the character you're writing, if you can't find it in you to do him justice, why bother at all?

[creativeashproductions]

Murder Mysteries and Afterlife Businesses Part 2 // Wally Clark

IN WHICH: In which the aftermath of Dawn’s crossing over, other things come to light, and Reader becomes more involved despite her resistance. But what happens when more and more information comes out and more secrets become unraveled.

Warnings: Swearing, angst, mention of murder, ghosts and some fluff

Words: 4k

A/N: Welcome to part 2 of Murder Mysteries. Thank you for the support and interest you’ve had since I posted the first part! The gif will make sense.

Part One

Masterlist

It seemed lately it was all the rage to barge into your studio since Maddie had joined the death crew. Charley had burst through the door with a gust of nervous energy and a lack of manners.

“Dawn’s crossed over.” He huffed, clenching the doorframe with his fingers.

Your brows furrowed, “When?”

“Did the lights flicker? Did you get goosebumps?”

Your teeth came down to gnaw on the skin of your lip, thinking back to the odd moment you’d been standing outside. All new blankets or quilts you liked to hang out on a line to catch the scent of the morning breeze. You’d noticed all the buildings on campus had lost power for a split second.

“I was outside. The light in the school did.” You replied, twisting to focus back on organizing the new fabric and thread you’d gotten.

“That was Dawn.”

Your head snapped up to meet his freaked-out eyes.

Now you knew for a fact that when Janet left, it was absolutely nothing like that. From what you’d gathered, she’d been there one moment and gone the next.

“But that didn’t happen when Janet left. Or when Brady crossed over.” You murmured, forgoing your tasks to focus solely on the unnerved ghost, “Are you sure?”

“He’s sure.” Wally breathed from the entrance. His hands shoved in his variety jacket pockets, his hand one raising in a friendly wave, “Hey.”

Your eyebrow lifted, “Ain’t I miss popularity lately. Okay, I’ll bite. In the decades since either of you joined the afterlife, have you ever questioned how crossing over works?”

Wally shrugged, “I thought it was a very personal and sensitive event. Besides, Janet and Brady are the only ones we know that crossed over.”

The sound of your brother’s name falling from Wally’s lips makes your own twist sourly. The loss of Brady aching all the more.

“The only one who’d know would be Mr. Martin. And we have no reason to not trust him. Right?” Charley said, breaking the silence brought on by Wally’s words. Then, Charley’s dark irises peered as you shifted to toy with a keychain on display, “Right…Renai?”

Okay, so maybe, just maybe, Maddie’s ability to speak with Simon wasn’t the only earth-shattering piece of information. There were reasons for not wanting to join the support group. You couldn’t stomach looking at Mr. Martin. A level of disgust was always there, tying in with your morals.

Mr. Martin held a lot of control as the only adult ghost on the property and, with his position, held more respect. A lot more than a slimy teacher deserved. In order to not attend the sessions, you had a deal of sorts with him. Besides, the weird lightning-fast glances with Janet were a little odd when you saw them together.

“No. Not a reason.” You uneasily replied, shifting to scratch an itch on the bridge of your nose, “I’m not sure how Dawn’s crossed over like that, but maybe it’s just something that changes with each person. Your best bet would be asking Mr. Martin because Wally is right. Crossing over is a deeply intimate moment, and it’s really taboo. But, honestly, even the death event is as well.”

You watched as Charley left the building before shifting to look at Wally, “Hey, Wally?”

“Yeah?” The athlete whipped around to stare at you, “Something wrong?”

“Just…be careful.” You whispered, reaching to squeeze his arm, “Something isn’t right.”

All Wally could do was scan your features; he was sure he saw a flicker of guilt wave over, but he shoved that thought away. He nodded and turned on his heel to follow the ’90s ghost back to the school and the group they’d left. They had a group session to attend and answers to be demanded.

“Oh, Brady. You’d know what to do.” You mumbled, shifting to grab the phone off the desk to check in on other matters.

Split River High School, the late 2000s

Your hand clenched the backpack tossed carelessly over your shoulder, listening to Linkin Park’s album on your iPod. You and Brady had spent the better half of the night ripping albums off of Limewire and creating playlists with each other. The lack of sleep was worth hearing the lyrics flowing into the earbuds from the iPod.

Brady’s shoulder bumped yours when he waved to your father from the parked car on the corner. Brady had always gotten along better with your father than you did. You had an easier time with your mom instead. 

“You should take him up on his offer,” Brady spoke when he noticed the song winding down. His eyes flash to yours on your trek over the football field.

“Spend hours in uncomfortable silence while our dad tries and ultimately fails to connect with me?” You scoffed, “Isn’t that a typical Tuesday for us? Besides, I’m heading up to Chicago for that new thrift store?”

“It’s not like you make it easy, Renai.” Brady snorted, tugging the one earbud to put in his ear, “Get him to drive you. There’s that record store you two to go to…and because I’m using the car.”

Your jaw dropped, shifting to turn to face the bane of your existence, “Brady! It’s my weekend! I missed the last two because you forgot to take the car for an oil change!”

“Just take Dad, please. We don’t have much longer until we’re far from Split River. Please make an attempt at fixing your relationship. That way, you can say you tried.”

You rolled your eyes, but you silently promised you’d at least try to have some form of bonding with the guy that tried his best. But really, why bother when all you needed was Brady, and you had your entire life to get on better terms with Dad.

Famous last words.

“What do you remember the day that Brady crossed over?” Wally questioned from his position near the blankets hung up.

His hands removed each clothespin to carefully fold the new quilt you’d finished only a few days ago. He’d shown up somewhat out of nowhere to help you, and you didn’t put up much of a fight. While angry and hurt, you had missed him in the years of distance.

Your hands froze, “Why are you asking?”

“I’m curious.”

You poked your head around the burgundy fabric you had little clue about what you’d use it for. A new item one the ghosts had snagged from the fabric store in town.

“Well…uh.”

Split River High School, Highlands House Studio

You and Brady never worked Sundays. Ever. In life as kids, it had been days spent as part of your family’s religion before it evolved into how you spent it as teens. In the afterlife, you considered it to be the one day a week you would decompress from all the work and relax. You and Brady were close in life and death, but Sundays you spent away from each other.

You never knew what he did; he preferred not knowing what you did with Wally on those days.

This Sunday, you had woken up with Wally in your small bedroom in the studio and treated yourselves to breakfast in the school cafeteria. You took a walk and smiled when Wally gently dropped his varsity jacket over your bare shoulders. His hand slipped into yours.

“Can we postpone our date? Brady needs my help with something.” Wally questioned, leaning back against the crumbling brick of the school’s side. He felt your head nod in response from its position against his chest.

“Yeah. I can finish up on a project.” You murmured, curling further into his warmth.

Your eyes focused back on gently taking the burgundy fabric from the line and breathing in the scent of the crisp morning air. It was the closest you could get to your mom’s laundry soap. 

“It was Sunday. You surprised me with waffles you made in the cafeteria, you’d spent so many nights figuring out how to use the school kitchen. You were so proud of the smiley face you did on my waffle with the whipped cream.”

“-my momma’s recipe. The waffles and the whipped cream, by the way.” Wally interjected with a grin. It faltered because, while a good memory, it was the last he had shared with you.

“And then I remember learning about Brady.” Your words caused the mood to drop, and the brunette to peer at you as well.

You’d think it was Wally who would have found you and told you that your twin, your soulmate, the other half of the ‘two for one’ joke your parents had used your entire lives crossed over. But it hadn’t been. Instead, it had been Mr. Martin who had shown up on your doorstep.

“I never wanted to keep it from you,” Wally whispered, clenching his fingers on the quilt he ever so carefully placed in the basket. 

The tears marred Wally’s slouched form standing on the field with more distance than ever between your two bodies. Not a second to waste, leaving Mr. Martin to find the one person who had seen Brady last. With the beautiful weather, Wally had taken up residence on the empty football field with art supplies from the art room with one goal in mind.

You and Wally didn’t attend the Homecoming dance in the years together. Not for lack of trying, but the ghosts from the Support Group usually went together. You and Brady would volunteer your talents to decorate with them before bowing out. It wasn’t really your scene. But, out of all his friends, Rhonda had convinced Wally to give it a chance in a promposal-esque event.

You’d stumbled onto him after rather ruthlessly dragging the information out of Janet.

“How could you?” You tearfully asked the jock, limply holding a forgotten brush in his hand. The blue dripping off the bristles matched the streak on his pale cheekbone.

The words were vicious. Dripping with hatred and so much pain, Wally felt horrible. He felt like he was watching his body hit the field back in 1984 all over again, his life falling to pieces in seconds. He struggled to find words to adequately respond to your agony.

“He’s all I had.” You sobbed, curling in on yourself, “You should have told me. Why would you do this to me?”

Wally was out of his limit here with zero relationship experience in his life with the time and energy dedicated to football. Honestly, he’d never had the opportunity, or interest, to woo over a girl or her parents. Then he stumbled into you in the hallway holding that blanket he was done for. And as a ghost, he didn’t have anyone but your brother to win over. And what began as trying to impress Brady turned into a friendship Wally was grateful to have.

“He asked me for time.” Wally quietly spoke, finally releasing the grip on the paintbrush to mar the football like his death had done decades ago.

“I’m his twin, Wally! He’s supposed to trust me! Confide in me.” You pushed his chest when he attempted to step closer.

“I-“

“You took him away. You went behind my back without even considering how I’d feel and did everything in your power to help him cross over.”

Wally’s sadness dissipated enough for anger to drip, “Because of this! He asked my help because you’ve always brushed his concerns off! So sue me, I decided to help my best friend. Just because you’re content to be stuck here doesn’t mean he should have had to be!”

Like a bullet hitting your midsection, pain erupted in your very soul. Wally’s expression dropped, digesting his own words and your reaction.

“Wally, I didn’t get to say goodbye. So why couldn’t you let me say goodbye.”

Wally’s brows came together. How could he let you say goodbye when he hadn’t seen Brady since Wally stumbled out of your bedroom this morning. He couldn’t find him although they had had plans together.

“But I-“

“I don’t care. You’re the reason he’s gone, and to be honest, Wally, I wish he was here instead of you. We’re done.”

The finality of your tone and your back was the last thing he saw that tore him apart. He dropped to his knees with the pleading slipping one by one out his mouth for you to stay.

“I know that now Wally. It was easier to be mad at you than at Brady for wanting to cross over and leave me.” You whispered, dropping your hands from the quilt on the line to stare at the material that matched Brady’s eyes to a’ t’.

It was going to take a while to properly heal the damage the breakup had done, but baby steps had begun. It was Maddie who put it into play the night of the Homecoming Dance. 

Before Maddie left the gym, Charley and Rhonda had each broken down and explained the actual history between Wally and his ex. And Maddie feels doubly guilty for upsetting the tall ghost after agreeing to join him as a friend at the dance. For a hot minute, Maddie had thought Wally was upset because he liked her, but it was because this was the one night he truly let the past go. Wally used to try to convince Brady to attend the dance for a few hours.

“Wally, I’m sorry,” Maddie spoke from her position on the periphery of the concrete, meeting the grass. Her blue eyes sadly looking at the boy listlessly sang along to Joe Jackson’s Steppin’ Out.

Wally kept staring up at the dark sky, going quiet as he listened to her.

“There was a lot happening, and I didn’t want to ruin the night for you. But I should have been honest and told you what was happening.” Maddie nervously brushed her hands on her dress. Her small steps brought her closer to the desolate teenager.

“Maddie, it’s… it’s fine. You don’t have to apologize to me. I’m used to Homecoming sucking for me.” Wally replied, pushing his hands into his pockets. Maddie was already shaking her head.

“That doesn’t mean it’s okay. I kept brushing you off. You and everyone else have been so kind to me, and I’ve treated you poorly tonight.”

Wally nodded his head, “I haven’t been fair either. Can I be honest?”

Maddie’s lips parted into a slight sympathetic grin, “That this entire time you’ve pictured someone else sitting at the table with you? If you weren’t so sickeningly in love with Renai, I would have kissed you.”

The two teens stared at each other, noting how while they’d come as friends, they weren’t even remotely with the right people. Maddie’s blonde eyebrow raised.

“Wally Clark, don’t you have an artist to win back?” 

Wally turned on his heel racing off towards the football field set in between the school and the former art studio. Maddie beamed, watching Wally’s getting smaller and smaller until he disappeared around the corner. 

In the art studio, you’d opened the windows and climbed onto the roof of the building to settle in to look at the constellations. Then, finally, you could pick out the ones your mother had spent summers introducing you to. A dedicated astronomer, your mom had always liked the stars and mysteries of outer space.

You could faintly hear the music playing in the gym where the Homecoming Dance was in full force. You wondered when the punch got spiked and what teacher looked the other way. If Rhonda wore the dress, you’d surprised her a few years ago. She routinely rotated it into the apparel every couple of years.

“Seen a comet?” 

Your eyebrows raised, finding Wally standing in a tuxedo, holding a maroon blanket he gently draped over your form. He’d ditched the dress shoes to climb from the window to the roof and left the jacket with the shoes as well. 

“No, just an idiot.” You smirked. His foot nudged your ribs, causing your to flinch off the mattress. Brady and you dragged it up one year for stargazing.

“Do you think we’ll still be around to see Halley’s comet?” Wally asked, shifting to lay down by your side.

“Halley will perihelion in 2061. After that, we have another thirty-eight years before it returns, so who knows if we’ll be here.”

Wally was quiet as he stared at the side of your face, “I hope that somehow and somewhere, you and Brady can see it together.”

“And you.”

Wally tried to keep from visibly reacting, but he couldn’t. Wally wore his emotions on his sleeve for everyone to see.

“And me?”

His only response to his disbelief was the feeling of your pinky linking around his leaving him breathless.

The dark-haired teen had managed to sneakily grasp your hand in his while you’d been stuck in the scene from a week ago. A warmth only he could ignite slowly fanned that made its presence known in the apples of your cheeks.

“He didn’t want to leave you. The last thing he wanted was to leave you. All he ever wanted was for you to be happy.” Wally quickly informed you and gently pushed you away from the clothesline to step in front of you, “He loved you with every part of him. I really truly believe wherever we cross over to, he’s waiting for us.”

“-probably to kick my ass for dumping you.” You winced thinking of the hell Brady would have raised.

“Oh, absolutely.” Wally full-heartedly agreed with that statement. But, to be honest, Brady was the only person in the world who could get you from being so stubborn.

Wally had known since meeting your twin brother that he’d never be your number one. That was and always would be Brady’s place, and it was vice versa. Wally understood and, quite frankly, loved the bond you both had.

“What do you say to a movie marathon?”

“I’d say hell yeah. I’ll raid the library for one.”

The watch on your wrist ticked down the time to both sundown and the meeting time for your date with Wally. The chainlink fence was cold on your skin, and the lack of noise unsettled you. The popcorn machine had been in a long overdue dusting when the phone had vibrated on the desk. You’d hadn’t time to grab one of the items you kept on hand for Joel.

You couldn’t look at the shadow box containing a specimen for the Civil War soldier without wanting to cry. The things he collected, other than stamps, made your skin crawl.

The red-haired soldier slinked from behind the shadows of the trees to come closer to the fence. His time was perfect when the sun set behind the horizon; he didn’t like being visible in general. You attributed his unease primarily to an adult life spent under the cloak of darkness when he was a soldier. Your Converse slapped against the dry dirt when his lanky form appeared from the back of the tree.

“You said Maddie Nears is dead.” Joel skittishly spoke, slouching down into his body. His anxious eyes refused to stay on you.

 “Well, to the living, they’ve classified it as a disappearance, but she’s dead. Her spirit is tethered to the school.” You responded, turning to look over your shoulder where he was staring at.

For a second, you thought you saw the silhouette of someone on the dark top floor of the school but quickly disregarded that.

“Joel?” You questioned him, “Are you okay?”

Joel’s eyes snapped to firmly meet yours. That cold feeling he always brought slithering around your body. You could see the deep fear in his gaze, so unlike how he usually looked.

“I-I have to go. There are things at play. Vivify.” Joel skittishly stumbled back from the fence, taking the cold ambience with him.

Your mouth dropped open, “Wait! Joel, what does that mean!”

The soldier disappeared back into the thick of the forest, leaving the shadow box in your hands. He hadn’t even looked or questioned the payment for information. He was so stuck on looking at the school.

Your ear tuned in to the whispers coming from in the woods. 

“-can’t be trusted.”

“-spirit and body.”

“Do you think this is the end? Is this hell on earth-”

“We’ve waited centuries for- “

“-locked-”

“no, stuck”

The unease of lingering around flared, and you felt the foreboding of something going wrong. The hands on your watch revealed that you’d been on the edge of the woods far longer than you had thought. Your Converse squelched under the dewy grass in your race back to the studio where you hoped Wally was waiting.

No dice. Every room was silent, and the roof was empty.

“Wally?” You shouted, flinging open the back door to a dark abyss.

You knew something was wrong. Deep in your gut, you felt the balance of the two worlds change. And you had a feeling it tied to Maddie Nears and to a particular be-speckled ghost too many people put their trust into.

Fuck the deal. And fuck Mr. Martin too.

“You know the little breadcrumbs you’ve left over the years…well, they’re getting really irksome. I’ve been kind. Let you own a corner of what I’ve spent decades building.”

Your spine stiffened hearing the words of someone you’d have called the devil. You ever so slowly turned to see Mr. Martin standing with his hands in his pockets.

“The beauty of your Civil War soldier is Joel’s…easy to get help from. A little promise to crossover, and he folds easier than the stamps you’d paid him.” Mr. Martin removed his glasses to clean before returning the vintage pair on the bridge of his nose, “Besides, can you ever really trust a Confederate soldier?”

Your feet stumbled back, “What are you doing here, Martin.”

His lips parted in a grin, “It’s what you can do for me and what I will give you in return.”

Your eyes coldly stared him down. Was this the time to play the card you’d hidden for years?

“You know, I always found it morbidly interesting how Split River High School has had two fatal fires. What gets me, however, is how your fire was brushed under the rug and hidden. The scene changed into a bunker and faded from everyone’s memory.”

Mr. Martin tilted his head and attempted to keep a neutral expression, but you saw the minuscule flicker of worry.

You picked ups a ceramic figurine of a phoenix off the corner of your desk, playing the part of nonchalance. You kept a fair distance from the former teacher.

“But when the fire that killed Brady and me happened…the school rebuilt the art building, tried to revive the program and provided a memorial for us. So tell me, Everett…did you mean to kill Janet too?”

You saw Mr. Martin stumble back as you revealed your hand. His eyes blinked furiously.

“Yes, Everett, I know you two died in the same fire, and you’ve tried to play it off as an accident, but we both know the truth. Go ahead. Ask me how I know and why I haven’t told anyone?”

He tilted his head, “Why?”

“I’ve always left weird about Brady’s crossing over. And you sure ain’t slick with your glances with Janet and how you postponed the first meeting after Janet crossed over. So tell me, what really happened to Brady? Because the way Dawn crossed over confirmed that something happened to Brady, and it wasn’t crossing over.”

Mr. Martin had never fled as fast as he did in that moment.

Fallout Shelter

“I wouldn’t bother.”

The voice came out of nowhere, scaring the three ghosts attempting to break through the door. Wally flinched, looking up to the shelving to see a fourth ghost in the room with them.

“Mr. Martin’s good at locking them. He’s made a game out of it for years now.”

Wally’s lips parted, “Brady?”

Brady turned his head to peer at his best friend and your boyfriend.

“Hey, Wally. Long time no see.”

Tag List: Send an ask/notes if you want to be tagged! 

That way, it’s all in one place for me to go through

@websterss @nekee-lilac02 @wanderingwallysposts @queen190 @adoremilo @witheringawayagain @rinisfruity14 @falling4thecanyonmoon @spookyinky @criesinlies @mega-met44 @oscarisdaddy69 @x-eggroll-x @myosotisbella @elvisbluesuedeshoes @xyzstar @frogmanfletch @k-k0129 @jayyeahthatsme​ @merlin-dahlia​

[ohbo-ohno]

if the 1k game is still open, I’d like to throw in my two cents!

Ghost (or Ghoap) with Forest and Only (allotted amount of time) to escape before (bad thing happens)

I’m sure there’s plenty of ways to go with that!~ please take your time and remember to drink water today!!!!!

~🦋

1k game here - no more please!

i will drink water just for you babe. also i did ghoap x reader & forest & trying to escape, but ended up not including an allotted amount of time, hope that's alright!

1.5k of ghost watching soap and reader run from him during a zombie apolocypse. except the apolocypse is really more of a background thing and i just throw in mentions of zombies. no smut! (cw for a very brief mention of cannibalism, a sprained then broken ankle, kidnapping, and very light puppyplay at the end)

"You fucking idiot, Johnny," you hiss. "You're gonna get us killed!"

"Me?" He snarls, whirling around to glare at you, hackles raised. "You're fuckin' shoutin' like you want the bastard to find us!"

"Shhh! Could you be any louder?!"

"You goddamned feartie, I hope he kills you first!"

"What the fuck did you just call me?!"

Ghost just barely manages to bite back a laugh at your offended tone, the way you're nearly spitting at Johnny, even at nearly a foot shorter than him. It's like watching a kitten try and fight a dog - cute, but you know the dog could crush the kitten if things went a little too far.

But Simon doesn't mind watching you hiss and spit at Johnny, certainly doesn't see a need to step in any time soon.

He hadn't expected to find much more than a few corpses when the motion sensor around his property triggered an alarm in his base. He figured it was probably a few zombies, easy enough to deal with.

But then he spotted the two of you - a big Scotsman and his far smaller girl, bickering playfully and totally unaware of him in the shadows.

Originally he'd planned to kill the two of you. He's got enough food stored to make it through the winter, so he wouldn't have to bother with freezing your bodies for later. It would be almost comically easy to kill you, take a couple shots from far enough away that you'd never see them coming, drag your bodies off his property, and forget all about you.

But then Johnny - who's name he only knows because you use it frequently - had spotted him. And wasn't that interesting? It's been a long time since someone managed to spot Ghost while he was trailing them.

He'd noticed Johnny's injury soon after that. The two of you had taken off running - he's not sure why, but apparently you haven't had the best experience with strangers - and Johnny had limped beside you, his right ankle clearly giving him trouble.

That was near sunrise. Now, there's an hour or two before the sunsets.

Simon would like to have the two of you in his base before night falls. No point in risking losing one of you to a zombie, not when you're already vulnerable.

He's been herding the two of you in the right direction since about noon. The two of you had picked the right direction to run, almost making it fully out of Ghost's territory before he started redirecting you. It was easy to land a few shots in the dirt in front of you, send the pair of you scrambling in another direction.

You're closer to his base than either of you realize. Ghost's muscles twitch at the realization, the thought of having the two of you locked up fueling his adrenaline.

He already knows you'll both put up a good fight. He can't wait to see which one of you gives in first. He thinks it might be Johnny, can already picture the man being good after seeing how Ghost might treat you.

He tunes back into your argument as the land becomes more familiar, unable to resist smirking as he sees the path that Johnny's about to walk.

"I told you we should've been more on the lookout for other people."

"Don't even start! Ye know as well as me that the bastard came out of nowhere, don't act like we woulda seen him anyway."

"Well, now we'll never know."

"Exactly! So why're you still naggin' me about it?"

"Oh, really, I'm nagging? Really, Johnny?"

"Yes! What, you think saying it twice makes it less true?"

"Oh, fuck you, honestly, I don't even know why I bother helping you."

Johnny laughs, loud and very obviously fake. "You're helpin' me? Oh, now you've really lost it, lass. I've been dragging dead weight since this whole thing started! You know, I'm getting awful tired of-"

Johnny's just a few steps away, make that final little stretch as he talks, and Ghost holds his breath, waits....

Bam. Before he can finish his complaint, he's yanked into the air. His bad ankle is wrapped up tight in rope, a trap tugging that leg into the air and leaving his torso resting on the ground.

He grunts loudly, though not as loudly as Ghost had expected with his injury.

"Holy shit!" You nearly shout, rushing to Johnny's side and abandoning your argument. "Fuck, are you alright?"

The Scot makes a half-wheezed sound of affirmation, eyes squeezed shut.

"Fuck, alright, don't move. I'll get you out, alright?"

Before you can figure out how to make that happen, Simon steps out of the treeline. You catch sight of him immediately, eyes going wide as you clearly fight the urge to run and abandon your partner. You just barely manage to stop yourself, shifting into what looks like it's meant to be a defensive possession.

Ghost tilts his head, smirks behind the mask. "Where do you think you're goin'?"

Johnny's face is twisted in pain, leaving you to respond. "We don't mean any harm, alright? Just... just let me get him down, and we'll go."

Simon slings his rifle off his back, holds it casually in his arms. The way your hands twitch, the panic streaking across Johnny's expression... fuck, it gets him hard.

"Why would I let you do that?"

There's a little furrow between your brows, and Johnny starts to really squirm in is bindings.

"We won't tell anyone about you," you try, inching around Johnny's prone form. "Promise. You let us go, you'll never have to see us again."

That, Simon thinks, is the problem.

He hauls his gun up, takes quick aim, and shoots the rope tying Johnny up before either of you can properly panic. You both still scream when the branch falls, clattering to the ground on top of Johnny.

You're quick to help him up, your argument apparently entirely forgotten as you let him lean most of his body weight on your shoulders.

Ghost slings the gun back over his shoulder, pulling a length of rope out of his pocket. "Both of you, on your knees. Hands behind your heads, eyes closed."

"Oy." Johnny tries to move in front of you, but his now mangled ankle has to be kept completely off the ground for him to even stay standing. "You can't... we'll go, like she said. Promise, mate."

"Knees."

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed neither of you put up even a bit of fight. But he doesn't complain as he watches you fall to the ground first, letting Johnny use you to help himself.

"Good," Simon hums when you both settle, forms stiff but in the correct position. "Either one of you even twitches, I'll break your legs and leave you for the zombies."

You both shudder at that, and Ghost feels his cock throb in his jeans. He adjusts himself, then steps forward with the rope.

He's quick, not giving either of you time to properly react. You both get a matching loop of rough rope tied around your necks, just tight enough that the skin is already rubbed a bit raw, just from the initial tie.

"Don't move," Simon growls when Johnny jerks away, gripping the man's wrists and tugging them in front of him. "You want to die out here? Watch your little girlfriend get eaten alive?"

He flushes, teeth gritted in what's probably a mix of rage and pain. Sweat drips down his face, streaking through the filth. "She's not my girl."

"Johnny," you hiss, shifting restlessly on your knees. "Seriously?"

"What? Yer not."

"Is that really what you want to be focusing on right now?"

"Oh, would ye rather talk about the goddamn collar and leashes the bastard's given us?"

Ghost gives said leash a rough tug for that, finishing off the loops around Johnny's wrist and moving in front of you. "The bastard's right here."

You sit still, eyes still closed and limbs loose as you let him move your arms around. Johnny's the one who starts squirming, scowl deepening. "Really? Couldnae tell."

"Lotta sass from a man wearing a leash." Ghost yanks it again, nearly sending Johnny sprawling to the ground. He just manages to catch himself on his bound hands, and Simon finishes off yours.

He steps back, holding the length of rope stretching from your necks in one hand. He tugs solidly, smirks when you both stand as quickly as you can. "Up, now. Time to go home."

He doesn't spare either of you a glance, turning around and starting the rest of the journey home. He shows a bit of kindness, keep his pace slow since he can hear the way Johnny's breathing grows more ragged, hear his limp against the dead leaves.

Neither of you tug or try to run away, and Ghost can't help but smile at the obedience. He mentally crosses leash training off his to-do list. He had been looking forward to that one, but he's sure there'll be plenty of other interesting experiences with the two of you.

He's never trained two pets at once. He can't wait to see how it goes.

[learnthebreakdown]

I made this post about how moved I am yr addressed racism with Felice/Simon. It prompted me ponder issues about this fandom (starting how the nonwhite characters are treated in this fandom, and if people would sympathize with Wille as much if he was black instead of white, for example. But then it spiraled into other things as well) I've never had the courage to post about before, but yr gave me courage lmao (putting a disclaimer that I don't hate any of the characters as people...actually I adore most of them...except August). This season showed how ingrained racism is, it exists in so many "invisible" ways, where people can act as if it's not real since it makes them uncomfortable to deal with their own hidden biases, or worse, because they think their biases are actually justified. I've seen some mentions about how the audience of this show reflects the exact prejudices the show claims to criticize.

There's a notable pattern where even minor rich kid characters receive disproportionate sympathy/recognition and others face unwarranted criticism, reflecting societal biases and how we are conditioned. While tumblr has been better this season especially with time, tumblr (and esp other social media) sites often have much more sympathy for Wille over Simon, for example. Simon across sites gets a lot of undue downright vile comments from the fandom, or is just disregarded more. Part of this could be because Wille is the main character, and Simon's perspective was not shown super well in season 2, but Simon/Omar often get a lot of comments that aren't unsimilar to the racist and vile comments we saw Simon get in the show. It made me wonder- if Wille had not been white, if he had been black, would people still have found as much sympathy for him during his angry outbursts? How strange that many people seem to find sympathy for Wille and even August, but not for Simon, even though if we are being realistic...Simon is an equally complex character that has not done many bad things? How interesting that people barely discuss Felice's storyline, but there are people that gag over the rich white kids, stederika and henry/walter (especially after Felice's storyline this season, and when we have Rosh as a canon sapphic lower class girl). How wild that the girls' storylines- Felice and Sara's- are disregarded? People often act like Wille and Simon have gotten the same amount of hate, but if you've been in this fandom long enough and seen the overall situation, I think people know that Wille is favored over Simon overall, and the hate/disregard they get is not equivalent, especially considering Simon is the second lead.

I'm not saying all of this is due to prejudice, or that everyone who has ever done these things is an awful person, it's more just an observation that if we are honest with ourselves, hidden biases certainly play a role in ALL of our thoughts/behaviors. Even for those who may not actively engage in it, do we enable it? And with a show like Young Royals that is attempting to (not always succeeding, but an attempt was made this season) to critique these social structures of racism and classism, wouldn't it be nice if, as we go into this final episode, we look inwards and see what biases we may carry that affect our perception of this show, and more importantly, real life? Life imitates art, after all.

[spaceorphan18]

The Lady Whistledown Papers: 1x06 - Swish (Part 1)

Welcome back, Gentle Readers, to The Lady Whistledown Papers, where I’m taking an in-depth look at Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton’s character arcs and romance within the show Bridgerton!

For previous issues, follow tag : The Lady Whistledown Papers

I actually really like this episode... well, the Polin parts of this episode. There's so much to sink into!

Announcement

Before I jump into what's going to really occupy our time during this episode, I need to mention Simon and Daphne. Because there's this whole Whistledown commentary that sets the episode up, and the narrative talks a lot about how much Simon and Daphne are going to be missed now that they're married and hanging out in the country.

And I think it's a little funny -- in that the Daphne and Marina stories, until Daphne gets involved a little in the next episode, really have zero to do with each other. Colin ends up a little bit intertwined with stuff during the whole duel thing. But does Penelope ever have a conversation with Daphne? ...or the Duke? And I mean, I know we get Penelope watching with interest a little off in the sidelines, and we learn next season how much she loves being a part of society. But there is a real disconnect, sometimes, when it comes to what Lady Whistledown is saying and what is going on with Penelope.

It makes it a shame that Daphne didn't come back for Season 3. I would have loved to have seen Daphne's reaction. And I can't help but wonder what Penelope's relationship to Daphne actually is. She and Eloise are bffs -- and Daphne is the next closest in age. There are so many holes to fill in here.

That said, their stories are going to converge, at least thematically, at the end of this episode.

Anyway...

Interesting that Penelope is in wearing pink here -- when Marina is the one in Featherington yellow. Her sisters are, too, so I assumed it's a Portia mandate. But she looks so different here. (Also, Colin is in his solid Bridgerton Blue.)

Penelope is, as always, looking on from the sidelines. It's kind of hard to really pinpoint who she's looking at due the the cuts -- on one side, there's Colin and Marina, and Pen knows. She just knows stuff is going on that's going to make her sick. And then there's Eloise. Pen and Eloise have not made up yet. But Eloise is dying to talk to Pen. Because the Queen has asked her to find Whistledown. There's all of this news and speculation to be had. And it's hard for Eloise to be this on her own. She and Penelope have been inseparable for so long, and unmasking Whistledown is supposed to be both of their thing. But I mean, now is not the right place or the right time.

Colin gets everyone's attention to make a 'small' but 'rather important' announcement. It's just an interesting way to phrase it. It's important to him and his life and his dreams but isn't necessarily there to draw attention to himself (or Marina). Engagements are a really huge deal in this society, but I don't think Colin thinks his news is all that worthy of everything else that's going on. (Also, it's a literally short announcement, so maybe I'm reaching a little here.)

It's also interesting how contained he is here. It is a more formal setting. He's doing this whole announcement somewhat by the books, and therefor he does need to show some restraint. But also, while he is definitely happy, he doesn't necessarily understand the depths of joy he'll feel when he truly understands what love means.

Meanwhile, Marina is... fine. She's playing the part she's supposed to play and sells it as she should, but she's not over doing it. She's happy for her the fortune of her situation. But beyond fondness for Colin, there's no real affection, which makes this whole interaction feel so much more performative than genuine. (And it's supposed to feel that way. We, the audience, know this isn't going to work - and that slight edge of discomfort is there for a reason!)

(Also, quick note -- it is calculated that he does this out in public. It's so that it can't be rebutted. It's out there. People know. It's happening. And to suggest otherwise, especially in public, would be somewhat scandalous. And Colin knows this -- which is why he handles it this way.)

The Featheringtons are all overjoyed. Except, you know, the one who is going to break down crying. Notice Penelope is standing far away from the rest of her family? She is not a part of them. Nor is she a Bridgerton. She's on her own and absolutely devastated. (But she is not without power. She's having her emotional reaction now -- but this just pushes her further to figure out a way to stop it from happening.)

She's not the only one who isn't happy. Neither Violet or Anthony are thrilled by this news either. But they're both older and wiser and probably understand that Colin's youth is perhaps a reason for such a hasty announcement. (One that wasn't communicated to either one of them before, so it feels like a shock when they hear about it now.)

Which leads us straight into the next scene, which might be one of my favorites in all of Season 1...

Anthony

So, I really love this argument, it's so rich with stuff to break down.

Alright, so, Anthony hauls Colin into his study, and notice the first thing is their stances? The first thing Colin does is go to his chair and slouch down -- like a child being hauled into the principal's office, waiting to be yelled at. It also speaks to the fact that Anthony has probably been, and felt like, a father to the rest of his siblings. Anthony might be going through his own things, but he does still care, and he does feel responsibility for all of them.

This is probably not the first time Anthony's brought him in there to scold him, either. And in fact, Colin was waiting for it. When Anthony asks what he was thinking the first thing Colin does is play it off flippantly, stating he knew Anthony wouldn't care to hear it. And Anthony calls him out on not taking it seriously. Because as much as Colin thinks he is being serious (and more on that in a moment), his attitude and demeanor suggest otherwise, and Anthony knows this.

Colin, being the third child, is trying to find his place, and trying to assert some independence by not only asking Marina to marry him without consulting anyone else, but by announcing it the same way. He doesn't want Anthony's permission because he doesn't feel like he needs it. He wants to establish himself on his own, away from his family.

Anthony also brings up that Violet didn't take it that well. It's funny that Colin says that his mother was fine, and accepts whatever kind congratulations Violet gave them while they were out in society. But Anthony knows Violet isn't thrilled, not matter how much is wanting to accept her kindness.

But all this conversation about what is and isn't good for the family is somewhat besides the point...

Anthony states at the beginning of this conversation that Colin barely knows her. And that is true - despite Colin's protests otherwise. Sure, they've been courting for some weeks, but Colin is only seeing what he wants to see. He doesn't really know Marina (and she's really fine with that).

Anthony then asks, basically, if he's fooled around with her and this is why they need to get married and we get one of my favorite Colin lines "certainly not, I'm a gentleman". He's so cocky and smug about it. It cracks me up every time.

But this whole following argument I just love, because not only does it show the differences between Anthony and Colin, and how Colin feels differently from his brothers (and probably a lot of the rest of the young men of the ton) but Anthony is speaking truths here as well -- in that Colin's inexperience is going to be his downfall.

Anthony asks if she isn't compromised, why is he doing this, and Colin simply states -- for love. The interesting part is that he frames it as if everyone just marries for love. Because that's what his mother has been drilling into him for forever. Because that's the type of guy he is, love is the most important thing, and why would anyone not marry if not for love? It's a simple thing to Colin.

And that is one thing that does make him different from his brothers and from his 'friends'. He has no desire to do what Anthony (or Simon, or Benedict, or Fife...) is doing, fooling around with girls, not having any desire for real attachment. It's something that Colin craves. The basis of his romantic fantasies is a grounded love.

However, Anthony is going to have a valid point coming up. He calls Colin green. And he is. He's inexperienced with relationships. He doesn't really know what love is yet. He is young, and full of fantasies, and while eager to settle down and have a family the way his parents did is very much a goal, Anthony isn't wrong when in his commentary. It is important for Colin to gain some experience when it comes to matters of the heart.

(And honestly, this is why I do love the developments of Season 3 Colin. This is why I think it is important that he got to have those experiences, and learned what he really does and doesn't want. It's also why I think it's important he's going to get his heart smashed here soon. Because he's going to gain both growth and perspective through it.)

The thing about Anthony, though, is that he's crude when dealing with his brothers. Mentioning brothels, calling sex 'wetting your wick' and sowing wild oats has Colin rolling his eyes hard. But then outright calling Marina a chit is really the last straw. Anthony's also not wrong that in his warning that marrying the first girl you have feelings for isn't the best choice. But the way he dismissively goes about it is why Colin gets so angry, and why it's going to backfire on Anthony.

Colin wants to be respected. He wants to be taken seriously. He wants his feelings to be taken seriously. And Anthony isn't doing any of that. On top of that, Colin has seen how Anthony is with women, and calls Anthony out on some of his own shit -- claiming he can't fathom true attachment. Obviously, that's not entirely true -- Anthony's issues are a bit more complicated than basic commitment issues. But it is an observation that can get under Anthony's skin and Colin knows this.

Anthony calls Coin a child. Colin throws back that Daphne is younger and she's married now, but Anthony claims that it is different. And it is. Daphne is more emotionally mature at that point, and probably does understand matters of the heart on a more realistic level. (That's even ignoring all the societal differences between men and women, too.)

And I want to mention how the power dynamics of the scene have shifted. Colin gets up, he's been flippant and chill up until Anthony calls Marina a 'chit' but then Colin is up in arms in anger. He is very protective about those he cares about. But then Anthony is the one to sit and stay calm. Anthony is the one firmly in control, while Colin is the one being over emotional.

But Anthony does get in a heated moment back at Colin -- calling him immature. And the two of them realize they've reached an impasse in the conversation.

Notice, after Anthony raises his voice, they both settle into a more formal speech pattern, and adhere to more formal roles. Colin apologizes for not doing things properly, and wishes for his brother's blessing. Anthony won't give it, and Colin states he's disappointed. They both knew this is how the conversation would go, but they're going through the polite formalities of it now.

Colin is truly disappointed, though. He does wish his brother would see him as his own independent person. He does wish that people would recognize he sees the world in another way. And he does feel different than the other men in his world. And reconciling that is sometimes hard.

Ah man, this is such a great scene, and I love it to pieces. It sets up so much about Colin (and Anthony) as a character, and is a great starting point, in a lot of ways, as we're going to see it develop. Colin's going to change, but the basis of who he is -- his drive to find his place in life, his big, romantic heart, those are a part of who he is. He just... as Anthony is somewhat stating in this scene, needs to grow up to really figure it out.

[peachesofteal]

Hello peach hope you're doing well!!

I want to say that I love your writing, i grow too attached to it especially dead disco, you have no idea how it represents my deepest weaknesses and things in me that i never seen written in details that hit the right way, the way that darling is loved and wanted and even cherished by them yet she's so drown in her "what ifs" and worst case scenarios... i don't know if you do requests but my birthday is coming by, and well my birthday aren't the happiest days so every year i act like a workaholic in grieve, so i thought what of darling is like this and both her lovers notice how gloomy and on edge she gets when her birthday approach, how she may fake her birthday dates and never really talk about it when it's one week away...i think it'll hurt good, thanks again! 🩷🤎

⛈️

Hi love! Sorry this is a bit late, if your birthday has already passed, I hope it was okay for you. I usually feel like there’s a raincloud following me around on my own birthday, so I can relate to not enjoying it so much. I hope you like this! 🖤

18+ MDNI brief mention of spanking and praise kink, angst, comfort, emotional issues, Simon is in charge, darling is her own tag-warning / no au / dead disco canon - early relationship

It started with a lie.

A lie you had told months ago, on the patio, glass of wine in your hand. You had been enjoying the summer sun, curled up in your underwear on Johnny's lap, Simon's fingers working circles into the balls of your feet.

"My birthday just passed, actually." Johnny startled underneath you.

"What? How come ye never told us?"

"I don't know..." you swallowed, hard. "We had just started hanging out, I didn't want to make a big deal." The lie is incredible. So many half truths, twisted into something so false.

The reality was, your birthday wasn't for another few months. And you usually didn't make it a big deal, had stopped celebrating it years ago. Once everything started to feel hollow. Once you started to feel like maybe, your birthday really wasn't something to be happy about. Maybe, if you just pretended it didn't exist, it would sting less. Hurt less, when others did too.

"I wish we had known, darling." Simon interrupts your thoughts, and you shrug.

"Next year."

"Is everything alright?” Simon’s hand squeezes yours, drawing your attention from where you’re staring at a book, but not really reading. He can tell. He always can tell. “You’ve been quiet today.”

Your jaw tenses and relaxes with one breath. “Yeah, I’m just tired.” In reality, you were fine. Everything was fine. Johnny was in the kitchen, you were half sprawled across Simon with your paperback. You had a full belly and two doting, loving, warm partners, home, together, in the flat. What more could you want?

It’s hard to explain, the feeling of your impending birthday. The doom spiral that it begins in your heart, the sucker punch that it will deliver the morning of.

The guys don’t even know it’s your birthday, they think it’s not for however long ahead the made up date was.

You can’t decide if it’s worse, or better that you lied. Probably worse.

Will they remember? You never gave them a definite date. Will they push you on it?

You sneak a glance at Simon and realize he’s watching you, studying your micro expressions and picking them apart.

Definitely worse.

You feel awful when you think about how disappointed they’ll be if they find out, how Johnny’s face with twist with sadness, confusion.

You mentally cross your fingers, and hope it never comes up.

Your hopes are drastically dashed the next day, when you come home to a silent flat, Simon sitting at the kitchen table with his hands folded.

“Hi?”

“How was your day?” He asks and you shrug.

“Fine.” You peer into the fridge, feigning interest to avoid whatever the fuck is happening at the kitchen table right now. “Where’s Johnny?”

“Out.” Out?

“Out where?”

“On an errand. Come here.” It’s a command, something you recognize now, and your mind goes on red alert, chest rattling with a shaky breath.

Your feet deliver you to him on auto pilot.

“You got something delivered today.” There’s a shiny piece of postcard barely peeking out from his palms, glinting in the kitchen light. “It’s from your dentist.”

“Oh.” You laugh, nervously, scratching your neck because you don’t know what else to do with your hands.

“They wanted to wish you a happy birthday. Since it’s on the fifteenth.”

Fuck.

Your brain splits in two. One half of you wants to double down and assure him it must be a mistake. The other half wants to say you’re sorry, burst into tears and crawl into his lap.

“Darling?”

“Yeah… I uh… it’s uh.” He raises an eyebrow and you trail off, eyes finding the floor, hot shame crawling up your spine to your cheeks.

“Why did you lie?” You open your mouth to answer, but nothing comes out. No words, no lies, no rebuttals… just- a void. Nothing.

The walls feel like they’re ten feet closer to you, squeezing in on all sides, bearing down.

“Hey, hey.” His fingers wrap around your wrist, tugging you closer into his body while you suck in a hurried breath.

You can’t do this. You can’t tell him. You don’t want them to know.

“I can’t.” You whisper to your feet, and he strokes a thumb across your pulse point.

“You can’t?” He pushes, like you knew he would. It doesn’t take much for you to fold, and when he squeezes you wrist encouragingly, you break.

“I… don’t like my birthday. So, I lied. I said it was a while ago so you guys didn’t know.”

“Why do you not like it?” You shrug.

“I don’t know. It just always seems so, empty. It makes me sad. When you’re a kid, birthdays are special you know? And then as you get older they just get… worse. It’s supposed to be a day to celebrate but I only ever feel alone. I feel like, I don’t know. Like it’s just sad. And not special.” Your lower lip trembles, but you swallow down the lump in your throat, unable to let yourself fall apart, unable to fall beneath the weight. “I can’t explain it but there’s always a pit in my stomach, the morning of, and I can never shake it. It’s not like my previous relationships even really went out of their way to do something, so I… I don’t know.” You cut yourself off from your ramble by biting the inside of your cheek, trying to ward off a tidal wave of emotion.

“I see.” He pauses, and then wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you impossibly close. “And you were worried you’d feel the same, with us?” You shrug again. “Did you think we’d disappoint you?”

“No!” You blurt. “No, I just- I didn’t want the expectation. I didn’t want-“

“To be let down.” You shake your head with a denial, but Simon only nods, face grave and serious. “You always feel alone on your birthday. Why should it be any different now?”

“Because-“

“Because you don’t trust this yet.”

“That’s not true.”

“You trust us, darling. I know that. Johnny knows that. But trauma is muscle memory. It takes more than a few months with a new relationship to heal the build up of the pain and experiences you’ve been carrying.”

You can feel yourself twisting on the hook of his words. It’s so hard… to believe. To know. To trust but… this. Him and Johnny- you know it’s real. You’re terrified it’s real. It gives you the sweetest dreams and the scariest nightmares.

“I’m sorry I lied.”

“That’s alright, love. I’m not angry.” He watching you closely, cradling your jaw when your lip picks back up with it’s quivering. “But I think you need to feel better. I think you’ve been bottling this up for weeks now, haven’t you?” You suck in a deep breath, ragged and raw. You’re buzzing now, feeling too big for your skin, your clothes, your nerve endings rattling inside your body. “Should we sort it out?”

You nod.

“Words, darling.”

“Yes, Simon.”

When Johnny waltzes through the front door an hour later with a cake and a dozen balloons, he’s half curious, half elated to see you over Simon’s knee with your pants around your ankles, wide palm smoothing the raw skin of your ass as he hums sweetly to you.

“Shhh, good girl. I know, I know. It’s alright. You did so good for me.” Simon calls over your sniffling. “Johnny, c’mere. I think our girl is ready for her first gift.”

[stankworth]

Hi, I love your Simon Blackquill art! I was wondering if you had any thoughts on him and Kay? (I’m a little obsessed with them)

Ahh thank you for the kind words! I've been thinking about your ask since you sent it- I haven't had much time to draw this week so these are a bit rough.

I did imagine them first meeting when Simon is opening the window for Taka while Kay's scaling the prosecutor's office. She doesn't work there, she just does it to prank Edgeworth.

I wish I had more thoughts about Kay and Simon, but I have trouble picturing them interacting. Kay has a sunny disposition, and is the kind of person who can get along with anyone. But I think after years of not letting people know his true self, Simon would still be very closed off. And someone else who appeared to be sunny and the kind of person who can get along with anyone turned out to be using those traits to manipulate him. I don't see Kay's behavior triggering Simon though- I think it'd be her earnestly trying to engage him, and Simon being awkard about it. I HC Simon as autistic (it adds meaning to his getting along with young Athena, his unwavering dedication to his moral principles and the fact that he seems defined by his 2.5 interests), and tho he got good playing the role of "The Twisted Samurai," those scripts don't help him in social situations where everyone's getting along.

I do see Simon getting along well with Ema Skye: they both have an older sister who was incarcerated for doing morally dubious things to protect them; they're both dealing with their life goals (being a forensic scientist and dying for a righeous cause) not panning out; and they're both dicks who like throwing things at people. And Ema and Kay are besties, so, Kay and Simon would wind up hanging out. I HC Ema as being hopelessly in lesbians with Kay but not ready to make a move, and Kay being oblivous to it bc theyre besties. So he gets to be party to that.

Thats just how I'm writing them, for now. I think there's a reading of Simon and Kay get along like a house on fire since they're troublemakers, or where Kay is instrumental in getting Simon to open up. Maybe I'll have more thoughts about it after I finish playing through Investigations 2 again.