#i just shut off season 2 because it was putting me to sleep lmao

[inkykeiji]

I’m REALLY struggling to watch jjk season 2 AND read the manga! I’ve been stuck on chp 199 (no idea what volume that is/still waaaaay behind) for over 6 months. Like, I wanna see everything in color with voice acting but at the same time, I’ve already seen that same scene in the books so it almost feels “pointless” to watch the anime…..but then I don’t wanna get spoiled again the struggle is real out here😭😭

oooh yeah i gave up on the manga over a year ago. i do somewhat keep up with spoilers to see if there’s anything that’ll catch my eye/interest (i do this for nearly everything i’m into or somewhat into; i spoil myself to make sure it’s ‘worth my time’ and that i’ll most likely enjoy/like it) but alas, nothing for me personally. i’m sorry you’re struggling too anon :((

[bluntforcefem]

2k24 writing in review: would you believe it. sauces again

author's note

doing my author's note BEFORE the main text of the thing this year, because: damn, it really is all sauces. i posted a sum total of two (2) things to ao3 this year, both for pretty niche medias, and while i'm very proud of them both (i hope we live to tell the tale is the longest thing i've written this year!!) i really hit my stride this year with original fiction, again. many characters featured in this year's writing-in-review belong to the lovely friends i play toys with - thanks to the beloveds for letting me knock around their guys for funsies, per usual!!

some fun statistics for the people at home: i wrote 52 fics for sauces that i would consider 'full-length' (or full-length adjacent) - 22 canonverse fics, 13 alternate universe fics, and 17 spectre-after-dark fics because this is the year that i got into writing erotica lmao. my sauces wordcount, not including a myriad of worldbuilding documents, comes out to about 91,237 words this year! that's fucking crazy. my total wordcount? 108,376. ALSO fucking crazy. i've already mentioned my longest fic this year, but my longest sauces piece (EVER!) was written this year: I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING, written in september, which finished at 6375 words. lots of big achievements this year!!

i've been considering uploading my original fiction to my neocities page on-and-off through this whole year. a side project i've been rotating is a wikipedia-style fansite for sauces (so that we can inflict our years-long improv rp series on other people) but even without that, i'd like to start getting my favorites out into the world one way or another (and i'd like for there to be SOME place to get context for them. sauceswiki one day maybe). no idea how much interest there'd be for that, but i digress! let's get onto the monthly highlights, which i'm putting below a cut because damn! they're long.

JANUARY

“la-ast time i ca-ame i brought eli, and we ha-ad to leave the aqua-rium part ear-ly! ‘cause li-ittle bi-ird was looki-ing at the fi-ish like they do the on-nes in the ri-iver at home and they di-idn’t wanna cau-use an incident.” if evan’s hunch about briar rose is right, he’s pretty sure declan’s middle name is incident, but he sidesteps that thought easily as they walk into the first exhibit. “i’m sure eli has more self-control than that,” he says instead, torn between amusement and resignation at the thought of eli perching on one of the exhibits and sticking a whole hand in. “ba-arely. they cau-ught a sal-mon when they go-ot home and ate it who-ole!” declan gestures with both hands, a sort-of this big motion. it is, he thinks, entirely too big to fit in eli’s mouth, but they look so genuine he believes it anyway. “i thi-ink we were bo-oth just hun-gry though. let me kno-ow if you wan-na get snacks!” 

excerpted from JAWS!, a sauces season two story about evan and dec going to the aquarium together

FEBRUARY

when they can’t sleep they go out to the hangar overlook and lean against the railing in the dim warehouse light. they haven’t seen retribution in full since the day the program shut down, but when they stand still and watch the dark, they can see the shape of it twitching, shifting, moving, the synchronized patterns of partners sleeping, scattered across the continent.

excerpted from so i'll take the night shift, a sauces pacrim au fic about declan in the five years between one war and the next

MARCH

he’s not sure what he’s expecting, when eli tells him they’re ready to explain and then takes him out on a flight. even with the snow blurring the sharp slopes of it, the crater is huge, the site of a meteor strike or the pit of a volcano. deep, too; about halfway down the snow gets sparse and then vanishes, inexplicable, and declan wonders if its warmer down there or if its something else, some side effect of the murky blotch of darkness where he figures bedrock must be. eli flies in a lazy circle around the perimeter and then glides towards the middle, landing on a stretch of mostly-clear stone pocked with sturdy lichens. declan follows, stumbles a little on the landing and shoots eli a half-smile when they catch him. “a hi-ike, huh!” “a good day for it,” they answer, matching his smile with their own, gesturing with their folded-up cane. “in more ways than one- but, y’know, can’t be too careful. would’ve gotten us out here yesterday, but i figured neither of us wanted to deal with flying in a snowstorm.”

excerpted from come with me to the mad stone, a sauces season two story about eli introducing declan to the void

APRIL

but more keep coming. eli cocks their head to the side, slides on a patch of sloughed flesh and catches themself on the wall. “where’s the spawner?” close your eyes. follow. but it’s packed. you’re not going to be able to break it. “i can handle a few zombie bites,” eli snarls, but the way vee stills around their neck makes them hesitate. “a few. how packed is packed?” [...] packed is packed. there’s only a moment’s hesitation before the mass of bodies throws itself at them, green fading into black into the hints of pale blue, fabric sewn together that doesn’t match, limbs fused and flesh melting together. it doesn’t look like individual zombies at all, anymore - just some kind of amalgamation, bleeding so thickly onto the cobblestone that eli’s steps splash. eli doesn’t have a moment to doubt that the void will handle the spawner in the center, doesn’t have a moment to recognize anyone in the crowd beyond recognizing it. they clutch the hilts of their swords tighter and let the magic run its course, flesh popping and disintegrating as they work through the horde. a sturdy heap of scaled limbs gets too close, screaming in static, and eli’s head knocks into the ceiling as they launch themself up, talons tearing at the heads and shoulders of everything below them before they land too-heavy on the spawner itself. 

excerpted from the ground needs to be fed, a sauces season two fic about eli & the void handling a broken zombie spawner

MAY

the old man gives them a name. gives them declan shepherd, princess of hyrule, and echo still can’t remember a thing, doesn’t know how they’ll fight the apparent calamity, still just putting one foot in front of the other and tripping every once in a while. but it’s like muscle memory, really. they’ll get to him. they’ll get back to him.

excerpted from and i'll always believe in you, endlessly, a sauces breath of the wild au fic about echo remembering declan. author's note: i have been feeling endlessly shrimp about this one in particular lately

JUNE

“... swallow.” her voice gets quieter, almost uncertain, before she lifts her head and snaps again. “and i don’t actually have any answers for you, loser. i have no idea why your stupid number is a timer, or whatever. like i said, it doesn’t work like that anymore.” she draws out the no, waving one hand dismissively. “and it doesn’t work like that here. shouldn’t. i’m not even really a reaper. i don’t know what to tell you.” neku watches her, but she doesn’t say anything else. “okay,” he says, after a pause. swallow looks at him, squinting. “yeah, i believe you.” “idiot,” she says again, under her breath. neku snorts.

excerpted from i see it swallow my time, a post-canon interstitial infinity fic about neku from between twewy & neo on the infinity train, and also mirror shoka (<3)

JULY

“but you’re not my type.”  his first lie, though he’d honestly expect someone else if they truly were a figment—a strange facsimile of 10, perhaps, or even something like the shepherd. it makes them laugh again, at least, loud and echoing against the stone, and it lights up their whole face. very much a lie, echo thinks, looking them up and down again.  “i could be,” they retort, clearly playing up their offense. their voice is still tinged with laughter, cheeks flushed as they wave a hand at him. “is this an interrogation or a dream, your highness?”

excerpted from show me my silver lining, a sauces royalty au fic about echo and eli meeting in a dream. author's note again: july truly was the month of the weird echo/eli fics

AUGUST

time to play, then. they lean back as best they can in their chair, the very face of unconcerned. “and who do i owe my timely rescue to, then?” “just your favorite kidnapping victim,” a familiar voice chirps. rose stills, and she laughs, nudging the hench with a boot to make sure they’re out before she circles over. “i’ve gotten pretty good at keeping my ear to the ground in the warehouse department! and who else do i find but my dearly beloved rescuer?” “‘dearly beloved’? high compliments, shep. i didn’t even think i was your second favorite.” shepherd snorts. she sets her rifle aside and stalks forward, confidence rolling off her in waves. “only by technicality,” she assures them airily.

excerpted from and iii get a little bit genghis khan, a sauces season two story about shepherd repaying the favor of rescuing echo's supervillain persona from a kidnapping

SEPTEMBER

Shepherd has the same dream every night. It’s been the same dream from the moment she crash-landed on Spectre. The water rises as she climbs a spiral staircase in unbroken darkness, lapping at her heels, always a little faster than her. There’s no escape even if she manages to beat it, she knows – the wailing gets louder as she climbs, unbearable – but she keeps climbing. The void rises. It overtakes her before she can see what’s become of the sun. Tonight – a red light cuts through the murk. She reaches for it as her lungs fill and wakes settled, steady, her hand wrapped around cold iron.

excerpted from I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING, a sauces season two story about shepherd accidentally picking up an artifact that pushes her to act on her worst impulses, and trying to kill declan about it.

OCTOBER

lucille shakes her head again, taking a step back. she loosens her grip, lets her hands fall to her sides, holding the axe in just one. “this is mine now,” she tells him, “and you can’t have it back. i don’t owe you anything.” “good,” echo answers, sharp. she stares. “you don’t owe them anything, either. not anyone.” there’s a tension in his shoulders, a distance to the way he looks at her—like he’s looking through her, talking to someone else. she doesn’t know what to say, so she just nods and turns away. he doesn’t stop her when she starts to walk home, her pace deliberate, carefully controlled. his gaze on her back itches. she doesn’t look back.

excerpted from take care, take care, a sauces canon divergence fic that asks, what if echo became a single father?, among other things

NOVEMBER

the void reaches out a hand and wipes off his cheek. its thumb comes away, coated in a mix of blood and tears. you’re starting to lose yourself, it says, and it sounds like eli, now, their voice from a facsimile of his throat. he shivers. careful, now. we were made from ghosts. the world is always hungry for another memory. declan reaches up, grabs its wrist, stares up at it unblinkingly. blood drips from his temple, his heart, stains his overalls and mars the embroidery, pools on the ground and disappears. his grip tightens. “i’m no-ot goi-i-ing any-where.” slowly, it wraps its fingers back around his. lips pull back. the shadow gains too many expanse-white teeth, a skeleton grin. aren’t you? he opens his mouth and the void floods in.

excerpted from i alone will make wrongs right, a sauces season two story about declan in a bad place trying to talk to the void while eli is out of commission

DECEMBER

shepherd unearths her face from the couch and turns to him, eyes bleary and ears flat against her head. fur climbs up her neck and the sides of her face, a patch across her forehead and down the bridge of her nose. in her boxers, he can see the rest of it, grown in thick across her body, almost complete coverage. “it’s ba-ad, huh,” declan murmurs sympathetically. “where’d yo-ou even ca-atch it?” “the crossroads,” she says. when he reaches out and pets a hand across her head, she shoves her whole face into it, the fur soft under his palm. “i didn’t know they even had it here, star, it sucks. so bad! i haven’t caught it since i was–” “fifteen?” declan laughs. shepherd blinks before she snorts and smiles back, lopsided. “go-od, that di-id suck.”

excerpted from the fever pitch, a goofy sauces season two story about catpeople catching a fever that makes them grow fur like kittens do again

FINAL NOTE

if you've read this far: thanks, first of all, i appreciate it!! second of all, there's definitely a lot i'm proud of that didn't make it onto this review (or we'd be here all day). if you want to know more about my guys or sauces in general or any of the fics these are excerpted from, i'm always down to talk shop. here's to another year of writing!!

[ma3mae]

Welcome to my page 💞

Lmao nice, you found my page 🤡. Anyway I'm Mae and I've been here for quite some time tbh but with (sadly) plenty of hiatuses. Ppl originally came here for my story "Two worlds" (which im still working on, its just rly rly slow :((() but i started writing again bc ive finally caught up with bsd and it inspired me to start writing again in general! I'd love some requests but even if i dont get any, I'll still write some random hc's, stories and more bc i gotta use the motivation i have rn! Because of work i'll atleast try to upload smth every 2 days so yall in for smth (until my brain decides to shut off and not let me write again 💀) Anyway now onto my

Masterlist

Bungou Stray Dogs

-No one likes syringes! (hc with dazai, atsushi, kunikida, aku and chuuya)

-No brain, just horny! (Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Fukuzawa) hc

-No brain, just horny! 2 (Chuuya, Akutagawa, Nikolai and a bit of fyodor) hc

- I feel like sleeping on the couch tonight! (hc and lowkey drabble with Fukuzawa, Ranpo and Tetchou)

- Don't be so annoyed, love! (hc Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo)

- Exams are a hassle! (Chuuya x Reader) oneshot

-In sickness and health (Chuuya x Reader) continuation of Exams are a hassle!

- Cherry Sweet Kiss! (Tetchou x Reader) oneshot

- Love has no bounds! (Knight! Tetchoux Princess! Reader) oneshot

- Don't be so antsy! (Tetchou x Reader) mix of hc and oneshot

Arcane

-how the characters would help you with an assignment! (caitlyn, jinx and vi)

- Arcane Story Masterlist "Two worlds"

-"Two worlds" moodboard

-short future story idea (jinx x reader)

Bsd: Majority of charas (the kids only platonic, pls no smut or smth with them or ill put u to jail 📸) not reading the manga so just a heads up if you request for charas that havent been seen in the anime yet! Also wont be writing about mori bc i c why ppl simp for him but i cant 😩 fyodor's also a bit tricky but i can try 🛐

HSR

- Hubby gets some help (IL Dan Heng x Reader x Blade) Drabble

Who I'll write for!

Demon Slayer: I still gotta watch season 2... Pls no nezuko romantically... I beg you 🛐

Arcane: everyone except heimerdinger and silco bc im not into yordles and... silco is silco..

Also some characters in from League of Legends in general but just ask which charas bc listing the ones i wont write for is just too long of a list 😐

Jjk: all charas but only from the anime bc.. im not reading the manga yet again...

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: All jojo's and their respective gangs! Also other supporting charas but just ask and ill say if i write for them, lol

-still debating about dio bc i get why ppl simp for him but man's legit traumatised many generations of one family and prob hundreds of other ppl 💀

Naruto: main cast and akatsuki lol, u can request side charas too but im not gonna count every one of them bc yeaaaaaaah too long

Final fantasy 7 : all main casts from all ff7 games

Kingdom hearts: Organisation 13 and main cast!

Honkai Star Rail: all playable characters! (kid charas only platonic 💕)

still gotta think which other series but tbh my brain can only keep track of like some while ive consumed over 100 or smth and the ones that i like were streamed 6-7 years ago or smth 😭😭😭😭 but im currently in a bsd brainrot so give plenty of request for that rn if u want to LOL

Have fun on my page yall ✋💅

[username-not-registered]

Top 10 Reasons Why I'm The Discrimination Final Boss

1. Taco Bell gave me food poisoning

2. White People use other foods to season their food

Use some fucking spices goddamn

Bonus: Straight People (you're basic as fuck too)

3. Bisexuals can't pick a lane

Bro just pick [REDACTED] or [REDACTED] it's not that hard

I'm too lazy to find an image, so here's me touching grass instead

Placeholder Text

4. Haha gay lmao

Just look at them

That's gay xd

5. Women

6. Furries are flammable

Seriously how do y'all live with the fursuits on???? Do you know how dangerous that is???? Are you ok under there????????? Do you have ice packs or something??????????????????????? You need water my guy

7. Team Switching should not be allowed

Also it probably hurts to get your [REDACTED] chopped off

Also all men were women before the Y chromosome kicked in, so I hate y'all too

8. I hate children

Please stop making more and forcing others to make more because of your religion

We will overpopulation and die ourselves please stop

Do y'all remember the fucking concert

9. Not enough rice, Asians. Try harder.

Honorable Mention: Homophobes

Y'all just a bunch of annoying-ass bitches, cowards, literally unable to cope with something that ALREADY HAPPENS IN NATURE, and just generally kind of a prick

GROW UP ALREADY, WAKE THE FUCK UP

I can't believe you fear people who put [REDACTED] up their asses

Honorable Mention 2: Religion

You believe you're the correct religion? You think there's only one god? You think there's multiple? Fuck you. You're why there's division in society and why people are unwilling to change.

Oh and don't think you're safe, Atheists. No one gives a shit about you and your "well, ackshually 🤓" like shut the fuck up bro

Honorable Mention 3: NEOpronouns

Bro what

What's the point of using pronouns at that point, just use your name

Please go back to sleep

10. BECAUSE BLACK PEOPLE KILLED MY GRANDMA, OKAY????

[heyitsyn]

MANAGER!SEIJOH AU

a/n: this is kind of an au like what if you were

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

- 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 i would like to request a seijoh!manager reader who’s a first year and is siblings with ushi and the team’s reaction to finding out that she was supposed to go to shiratorizawa with ushi and their reaction with her getting along with the shiratorizawa volleyball team and maybe the manager is a small cute soft little energetic ball of sunshine 🥺🥺 also hewwo, hope youre doing well! ☺️ -🎷🐛

- Ir seijoh manager series is so gooood. Can we get something where by some weird reason yn-chan is close to ushijima and tendou and the seijoh boys dont know about it and how they'd react to her being so affectionate w them ahahwindkdn

EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT HOW FREAKING PRETTY TENDOU IS LIKE AKLFDJLASKFJDLSKFJDSFLKD

okayokayokay

so this is a what if thing

like what if ushijima was your older brother

SLKFDJADFLIJSDKLDF I CAN ALREADY IMAGINE OIKAWA SCREAMING

you didnt exactly have the best relationship with your mom

you remember when you were younger that she used to yell at your brother for using his left hand and you got angry a lot because you were fiercely protective of your brother

this caused her to yell at you too for being nosy and being involved in something you shouldnt be in

duh we know that ushi’s dad takashi actually supported him for this and protected him too and you were also a papa’s girl so you always ran to him

he understood you both better and while your mother worked, he was at home taking care of you two

then when they mentioned wanting to separate, you were very sad but somewhat relieved

mostly because you hated hearing your parents arguing and you felt bad for your brother as he constantly did whatever to get you out of the house

thats what brought on your love for volleyball

you werent exactly the best player but you were interested in it and often watched matches with him

but you also liked volleyball because your brother liked it

you liked whatever your brother liked

he adored you too and he was a boy who didnt talk much due to your mother but he was always a talker with you

especially when you couldnt sleep, he would sneak you out of your room and you both would run to the kitchen and eat ice cream

even with just a 2 year age difference, he looked as if he was older than you due to his massive height

‘just wait nii-chan! i will drink enough milk to reach your height!’

*insert lenny face*

AKLDJFSLDKFJDF I HATE MYSELF

CAN I PLEASE DIE

however

when they divorced, you thought your father would take both you and ushi

like the lady at the court even asked you where you wanted to go and not a breath of hesitation you chose your father

you weren’t very concerned because you knew your brother was going to choose your dad as you both were closer to him

so imagine your surprise when he said he didnt care and naturally, the mother would get the child

lowkey you felt hella betrayed and when your dad whisked you away overseas, there was this grudge you held against toshi

yall youre like 5

i would be hella mad too if my brother chose the person who yells at him all the time

in california, your father made sure you still remembered your brother and you tried to detach from the japanese lifestyle to your new one but you just couldnt

maybe around 6 years you were already fed up with the hot california heat and you wanted to go back to japan to see toshi again

you got over that grudge years ago but your mother refused to have any contact or anything to do with your father and so that included you too

she refused to let you both video chat and any type of connection

your dad obviously noticed your sad expressions and your obvious longing to go back to your brother again and so he arranged something

you shut the door gently before taking off your shoes by the doorway

the large house was often quiet except for the constant typing of a keyboard in your father’s study

‘tadaima’

you meekly mumbled but his sense of hearing never wavered so he heard your voice

‘oh? y/n?’

his voice echoed through the hallways and you heard his chair squeak as it was moved back so he could stand

your sock-cladded feet padded against the hard wood floor and you walked towards his study where indeed he was standing there

your father has definitely aged yet his job as a coach made him as fit as he was decades ago

as much as it disgusted you, you could tell what your friends meant when they said your dad was good-looking

they actually said your dad was hot but you refuse to acknowledge that

you and your friends are like 12 tf

you closed the door and sat down on the loveseat at the corner of the room as it was your designated spot

‘hey, papa’

you greeted with a smile and he gave you the same grin

‘i ordered f/f (favorite food) for dinner tonight so try and listen for the bell to ring, okay?’

you nodded

there was bit of small talk and you asked about his team while he asked about school and you both arranged to hang out over the weekend at some ice cream shop

the conversation dragged on until you heard the doorbell and you ran to the door to answer the delivery man

your dad put out the plates on the table and you excitedly dug in

‘also, you remember your grandmother? and her terrible back?’

oh god of course you did

they lived about 30 minutes away from your house in japan and she constantly worried your father bc the woman was approaching 90 and was still picking peppers!

with old coach ukai

‘what did she do now?’

your father chuckled at the exasperation in your voice

‘she misses you. says something about the family’s princess needing to go back to her country or something’

there was a smile in your face

your grandmother was your favorite and she always said you were the princess

she hated your mother because of how insensitive she was so she only acknowledged you as the only other female in the family

obviously your brother was also liked but there was just a special bond between you and your grandmother

‘so when are we going back?’

you asked and it was clear that you were excited at the thought of going back to japan as you havent been back since you moved due to your father’s busy job and your school

takashi swallowed his food before revealing the news

‘actually, if you want, you could finish your schooling there. but only until college first though because your old man needs you over here too’

nah bro you didnt even care about the last part

literally your fork fell to the table and you shrieked 

‘WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?!’

and thus brought you back to japan

you stayed with your grandmother on your dad’s side and you quickly got accustomed back to japan life

OH

your BROTHER!

okay

so waka-chan def heard you coming back

your mother was grumbling about it the other day and he was sure he heard your name in there

‘sdkfjkdslfjdkslfj y/n dkfjlsdkfjldkf’

LMAO THATS ME TRYING TO SAY THAT WAKA COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE SAID SINCE SHE WAS MUMBLING SHE WASNT KEYBOARD SMASHING LMAO

there was a mutual giddiness in there too and he was excited to see you again after many years without contact

however

there was a bit of fear in there that thought back to when you were younger and his choice of not really having a specific parent despite your pleads to stay together with him

but he was going to make sure your bond was still intact!

he would do anything in his power to do so!

when you arrived

your dad accompanied you back to japan and you both were walking out to the exit of the airport when you saw your grandmother excitedly waving a sign around

in bold sparkly letters, it said ‘USHIJIMA’

okay wait i love grandma usui 

you quickly ran over to her and she grasped you into her arms

‘nana’

you sobbed and she hugged you tightly

‘im so happy youre back home’

your father shook hands with the friend she brought to help drive you guys back home

old man ukai was basically the chauffeur but hes really good friends with your nana so it was okay

the entire ride you guys basically caught up with each other and you couldnt help but laugh whenever your dad would go on a rant about your grandma being too reckless and your nana defending herself

‘oh stop it, takashi. i was only given one life and if it’s over, it’s over. for now, ill live it how i see fit!’

your old family home was exactly as you remember it but you didnt expect the 6′2 boy in the living room

‘nii-chan’

you meekly whispered and he let out a soft smile before opening his big arms

you ran into them and he held you tightly

‘i missed you. so much’

he whispered and you nodded 

it was def such a nice thing to have your brother again

oooo your dad been knew that you would be sticking to waka like you did when you were itty bitty young

so when you practically begged waka to stay at your nana’s house the entire summer, he couldnt refuse you

duh your mom went to see you but you just quietly sat there and smiled at her

polite but distant

due to being around waka so much, you naturally went to his volleyball practices and their training camp

there

you met his friends and you guys quickly got acquainted especially with tendo bc he was just so fun

and he was your brother’s boyfriend best friend

the others were still kinda distant with you ahem ahem im looking at you shirabu

but they were mostly amazed at how powerful the genetics played in your appearances because wowza you were beautiful

lmao dont let waka hear them say that bc they would be benched all season in a single snap

during training camp, you usually sat at the sides or you would be their stand-in manager

goshiki absolutely LOVES you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOSHIKI MY SON MY BABY

him and you were the same age so there was an easier way of being friends and your energies just matched so well

he would run up to you whenever he got a play right and you would ruffle his hair affectionately

LADKSJFLDSKFS FLASHBACK TO TENDO!SISTER X GOSHIKI

‘y/n-chan!’

‘y/n-chan!’

‘y/n-chan!’

hell even ushi was getting annoyed at goshiki’s constant need for you

tendo would steal you away and he would be giggling to you about how adorable you were and you just giggled along bc wow this beautiful man is really talking to me right now

ALKSDJFLKSF CAN YOU TELL IM ALSO A TENDOODOO SIMP?

‘cmere, y/n-chan. i taught toshi this the other day and he was very impressed and wanted me to do it again. okay so it goes in a rhyme, ya ready?’

you nodded along and he shot you a close-eyed smile before starting to draw on the dirt with a stick

‘there once was a man with-’

lets just say

you were definitely your brother’s sister

sometimes though

you would try and go towards the calmer players to get away from the rowdiness from baby daddy tendo and baby goshiki

you would find them at the gym just doing drills and at the sight of you, they would turn red but continue playing

they didnt really mind seeing you there bc youve always been such a positive energy and cheered them on which gave them strength

‘NICE ONE OHIRA-SAN!’

‘WAHHH SO COOL YAMAYAMA-SAN!’

you were like a cute ball of serotonin >o<

‘wah, of course its expected for you guys to be the top in the prefecture. youre like,,,,, silent but deadly~!’

duh a compliment from a girl?

dead

shirabu’s bangs would get in the way of his vision sometimes yall i will never stop making fun of that ridiculously adorable haircut so you would use a clip and tuck it away for him

this big babie is so awkward that he turns red when you whisper in his ear that you were done

semisemi baby and you got along bc you guys had a similar taste in music and because you lived in california, he was fascinated that you were in the music capital of america

‘did you see celebrities down the street?’

he asked you excitedly one day during lunch

you stopped then smiled softly

‘semisemi-kun, i didnt live at that part of california’

nah to him, america is just filled with celebrities

OH DEAR BABY BOY KAWANISHI

taichi is a generally quiet guy

like you thought he was actually selectively mute when you first met him

but you gradually got him to talk and you would help him whenever he would want to practice

usually it was during the ungodly hours of the morning

you woke up and went to grab a drink from the common room but you noticed his large build exiting the door so you followed him into the gym

‘kawanishi-san?’

you called out and felt guilty when he jumped 

‘oh, hey’

he aknowledged

‘wha-’

you stopped to yawn causing your eyes to close making you miss the brief second of softness that flashed in his eyes

‘what are you doing?’

you tiredly asked

taichi dusted off his trackpants after kneeling down to rummage through his bag and you couldnt help but gawk at his height

‘im training early’

he answered

‘why? is it because you want to keep up with the others?’

you mumbled and he was surprised for a second but reverted back to his stoic expression

‘i have to make sure i am able to reach my seniors level for next year’

taichi turned away to grab a stray ball and you moved to go to the storage room for the ball cart

‘oi, what are you doing? go back to bed’

he said from the other side of the gym but you just looked back at him with a tired grin

‘meh, i want to spend time with you, senpai’

you reasoned

he shook his head before walking over to you then ruffled your hair

‘no wonder youre so tiny. you dont sleep enough and let your body grow’

yep that was the closest youve gotten to taichi joking with you

usually, hes training and when hes in the zone, nothing else has his attention but the ball

maybe thats why the others ahem goshiki has said that he was very scary

his game face was practically a mean face

basically you spent the entire training camp with them and then soon, you were going back to school

duh everyone hmm maybe not shirabu bc he most definitely read the school book of rules thought you would be going to shiratorizawa with them 

but you broke the news to them one afternoon and imagine the tears from both tendo and goshiki

‘WHHYYYY!!!!’

‘NOOO!!!!!’

‘why can’t you?’

semi asked and you were about to answer when shirabu beat you to it

‘the school doesnt allow late transfers’

oh right

the american school system was set in a different schedule than a japanese school system

it was considered the summer for them yet school already started a few months ago

since shiratorizawa was a very academically and physically prestigious school, they refused anyone who would potentially be late or behind their curriculum

‘so where ya headed to then, chibi?’

tendou pouted and you leaned against his arm

‘hmm some school named aoba johsai? i dont know its near my grannie’s so that’s all that mattered’

oh dear

USHIJIMA NO Y/N WILL NOT ASK TOORU TO GO TO SHIRATORIZAWA

they consider seijoh a rival bc theyve played against them practically in every prefecture tournament and they were worried for that infamous setter

‘ne, y/n-chan, promise us that you won’t be swept away by them! especially a guy named oikawa tooru!’

uhhh

well

tendou’s warning was kinda ignored bc you ended up being seijoh’s manager

hehe

surprise?

but they weren’t really really shocked tho bc they knew you liked volleyball so you would naturally be in the volleyball team

even as a manager

meanwhile in seijohhh

OooOOOoOoOooooo sEiJOOhHHHH~~~~~~

okay so you were actually registered under your father’s last name usui rather than the ushijima last name

therefore you werent exactly immediately known as HEY! USHIJIMA’S SISTER!

you still became the manager the way you did as mentioned in part 1 

and you still are their adorable baby manager

you were aware of their oikawa’s hatred for wakawaka so you try not to talk about him even though youre literally the closest person to him

was it traitorous? 

maybe

but you actually even help them when they practice

duh the boys are like eyebrow raise emoji 

‘wow youre really into volleyball, huh, manager-chan?’

matsukawa commented and you just smiled

‘hmm, my family likes it so ive picked up a thing or two’

LMAO

little do they know your brother is literally the best volleyball player around and is a member of the under 19 team and your father is a volleyball coach in america and would someday be someone iwaizumi hajime (19) would apprentice under

there was a lot of times you thought you would slip up like your home screen was of you and waka but youve been careful to cover it up

BUT

you cant always be sneaky

it was during the first day of the tournament and you were filling up their water bottles I SWEAR WHY IS MANAGER-CHAN ALWAYS FILLING UP WATER BOTTLES when you found a familiar bunch of boys at the end of the hallway just chatting

you havent seen tendou and the boys in so long so you placed the bottles down and rushed over there so quickly

‘TOMUTOMU!’

you shouted and the oddly-haired boy turned and he gasped before grabbing you into a large hug

this grabbed tendou’s attention and he cheered then hugged you too

your giggles and happy cheers were so infectous and they just absolutely missed you so much 

these tall boys were at a advantage so someone scooped you up and you were just affectionately being talked to and hugged and LKDSJFSLDFJ SO LUCKY SO LOVED

meanwhile

the plant babies were wondering where the heck you went to 

‘y/n-chan?! where is she?!’

oikawa panicked quickly while iwaizumi hit him to shut up

‘be quiet! you won’t find her if you’re too busy freaking out!’

‘ill find her’

matsukawa volunteered and they nodded, feeling at ease of him being capable to find you if you were in trouble

but when he returned empty-handed and with large eyes, they knew something was up

they ran behind mattsun to stop and copy his shocked expression at the sight in front of them

is that

you?

with

shi

ra

to

ri

za

wa

oh my god

‘y/n-chan!’

oikawa shouted, being the first to speak

you jumped and your own eyes widened

‘oh. oh no’

you mumbled

the others were so stunned and seijoh itself was so hard to make speechless but they were just shocked

period

‘what is happening’

iwaizumi mumbled

yea the others were just shocked period

‘hey guys’

you waved and you motioned them closer

‘uhh,,, well,,, um they are my friends’

you smiled uneasily and they could see that

‘aaand?’

oikawa signalled you to say everything bc he knew it wasnt the whole story

you sighed

‘ushi,,, jima is my brother’

you mumbled the last part

but they heard you

‘HAH?!’

you cringed and the shira boys were about to move to protect you but they saw you glare at them

‘what? what about it? hes my brother? and?’

you babbled

‘but,, why are you,, in seijoh? dont get me wrong! its just,, youd naturally go to shiratorizawa right?’

mattsun waved his hands around and asked the question thats bugging the team

‘i came to the country late’

‘THE COUNTRY?!’

well,,

turns out you havent exactly told them everything about you yet :/

even when youve cleared the air and introduced waka as your brother, seijoh still didnt say anything

they were stuck in this shocked and surprised moment even at the end of the day and when you went straight to the shiratorizawa team,

they watched with wide eyes as you laughed with goshiki and was jumping around with tendou

‘AH! TOMU! MY HAIR!’

‘TORI-SAN! SATORI-SAN! TAKE THAT!’

wow you were actually really beautiful when youre happy

‘i dont think ive seen her this happy with this much energy’

makki said and they nodded

it was true

you were usually calm and collected and was the perfect balance to this chaotic team

so seeing you so free and loose with them was so refreshing, even if it was with damn ushiwaka

you finally went back to the seijoh boys and they all sent glares to the violet team before sending you a smile

‘you ready to go, manager-chan?’

watari ruffled your hair before handing you your bag to start walking to the bus

‘yea. lets go home’

as you all walked, oikawa was already starting his tantrum

‘y/n-chan~! why aren’t you that happy around us? are we not enough for you?’

oikawa whined and pouted

but you just turned to smiled at him and stopped walking to pat his head

‘im not their manager, therefore im not pressured to act like anyone except as a friend and a spectator. but i try to be as professional as i can with you guys to make sure you dont appear bad to others. and you guys are perfectly chaotic enough, adding me into the mix will just about kill coach’

oikawa didnt seem satisfied though

‘but! thats not fair! they get to see you smile and i dont!’

iwaizumi growled at him to be quiet but you beat him to it

well

you smiled at tooru but your eyes shone maliciously

‘i knew you would act like this, oikawa-san. as punishment, i gave nii-chan your phone number. good luck avoiding him now’

oikawa screamed

a/n: AAWWWWW LETS NOT KILL COACH IRIHATA OKAY? HES LIKE OUR GRANPAPA AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE OIKAWA ALONE WAKAWAKA-KUN!

[cloveroctobers]

The finale obviously inspired this via my previous post on this season. It’ll probably be my last shit talking post for S5 since it has provided me with nothing but headaches. LISTEN by no means am I a DJ or top notch editor I just thought of this idea and unfortunately nobody mashed these two tracks up for me—rightfully so! I had to take matters into my own hands and this shit was not as easy as I thought it would be. There’s completely different flows ofc with two different styles of music, what can you do? Do my best with what I got! 😉

I even tried to speed up Marina’s vocals at first but it was definitely giving Michael jackson and if I really wanted to be clowned I would have kept it that way. Yes I used the clean version to Meg’s, “plan b” right up to the end because S5 MC deserves to talk her shit! 👏🏽 I decided to put in the effort since I had the time tonight and will probably never do this again lmao so here it is off beat and all! MC’s — plan 2 be a heartbreaker 🥀 ☀️ (Meg Thee Stallion — Plan b x Marina (previously: & the diamonds) — How to be a heartbreaker

@/bobbymacs2

bobbymacs2: so yeah! This happened! I had the honor of being the first person from the love island franchise to hear @/mcs5 new track that she did for fun! I had no idea she had this talent. What we thinkin voyagers!?

View all comments

iamdanas5: Idek what to say about the lyrics but the beat is amazing! Why were you the first to hear it? Makes me wanna ride around in a drop top

• bobbymacs2: not surprised ur here first golden goddess! bts comes with its privileges! Also MC considers me a lad now. Glad u enjoyed it too! 👀

•. iamdanas5: what’s with the emoji?

•. bobbymacs2: u tell me…🏃‍♂️

•. iamdanas5: 🫤

itslulusloveisland: 🤭 I love it! Although unexpected…I Will be streaming 💛💕

•. bobbymacs2: MC’s been very unpredictable but stands in her truth. Gotta respect it! ✊🏽

arlofit: what kinda fuckery is this?

• bobbymacs2: chickens 🤷‍♂️

• arlofit: watch ur tongue

meerasweetisland: still a bit of a try hard I see.

• bobbymacs2: @/meerasweetisland Opp? 🧐

• meerasweetisland: @/bobbymacs2 what are you on about?

geezeralfie: this was a lot…certainly great but not sure this was the best choice. I’ll have to have a chat with MC soon about this 😅

•. meerasweetisland: @/geezeralfie for what it’s worth I hope she doesn’t bother with you either 🙂

•. geezeralfie: @/meerasweetisland I thought we were past this already? Hope you’re well, really Meera.

•. bobbymacs2: @/geezeralfie listen to Meera. Distance is there for a reason lad 👍🏾 !

•. geezeralfie: @/bobbymacs2 it also makes the heart grow fonder? We’re mates and we support each other. I will chat to see where MC’s head is at about all this…as soon as she’s not busy and picks up the phone 😬

•. bobbymacs2: @/geezeralfie whatever helps u sleep at nite!

eddieloveisland: I knew this was coming 😏! The universe told me so.

•. arlofit: shut it already will u?!

•. eddieloveisland: @/arlofit: that’s not quite nice. I’m not wrong! Are you upset that I was right about all of yous!?

•. eddieloveisland: have I been blocked?

•. bobbymacs2: ‘fraid so. You’ve got to work on that approach buddy! But C for effort!

sirjohnnys5: ☕️ is hot! Which line does everyone think is about me?

•. bobbymacs2: @/sirjohnnys5 “you’s a b-word?”

•. sirjohnnys5: @/bobbymacs2 excellent take! I was leaning towards the snitch line but that one works well too! I know exactly which lyrics are directed @/flightsuresh @/finntastic5 @/katatics

•. nicolasnics5: @/sirjohnnys5 luv this for us 🍿

•. sirjohnnys5: @/nicolasnics5 😉

•. arlofit: @/sirjohnnys5 @/nicolasnics5 you two are truly repulsive. You’re actually having a laugh about this…why? I see why the both of you will be lonely for awhile.

•. nicolasnics5: @/arlofit so that’s a no to coming round mine any time soon? Answer my DM’s queen!

•. arlofit: @/nicolasnics5 🖕🏾off not kindly.

finntastics: wow. I’m at a loss for words. I’m still hurt about how everything played out but this is just another dagger right to the heart. I’m aware things were not the easiest for MC but I just wish she would have communicated what she truly wanted if it wasn’t me in the end. Playing ‘round with my head but most importantly my heart was and is extremely wrong. I hope she heals that cold heart of hers soon and that we can all move forward.

•. bobbymacs2: @/finntastics5 firstly this was a bit of a reach. Not to say that you weren’t hurt during all of this…your feelings are valid certainly. Just don’t point the finger if you can’t take accountability for your actions too. People will react off YOUR actions. MC did. I originally thought you two could make it but watching the season again and getting to know MC better bts…I can see why it’s added up to all this. Why can’t you? Best of luck to you and Kat, lad.

•. finntastics5: @/bobbymacs5 with all due respect…I’m not sure what you’re chirping about? I loved MC since the first day we encountered but got easily distracted. I wanted things to work with kat but learned that we’re not meant to last. I tried to be loyal by taking everyone’s feelings (KAT, Alfie, & MC) instead of mine. I DEFENDED MC because I couldn’t stand her being hurt and painted as a bad person. I wont say that’s what she is now…I’m just confused she’s done me like this is all.

•. bobbymacs2: @/finntastics5 you’ll learn soon enough at the reunion if you choose to attend 👍🏾

flightsuresh: 😡 how bitter of her.

•. sirjohnnys5: @/flightsuresh “How you want a bitch that you don't deserve? I should have listened to my first mind, And told your ass "no" the first time. Tried to spare this—feelings, now he think he hurting mine.” It’s fitting for you, yeah?

•. flightsuresh: @/sirjohnnys5 quit spraffing

•. bobbymacs2: @/flightsuresh u win some u lose some 🤷

•. flightsuresh: @/bobbymacs2 I didn’t lose. I was chosen from the beginning. If it wasn’t for me, none of you would even be in her presence.

•. sirjohnnys5: @/flightsuresh and here I thought I had the biggest ego in the villa! Are you seeing this? @/nicolasnics5

•. nicolasnics5: I am @/sirjohnnys5 mates got to find himself a job and pull that stick outta his arse.

•. sirjohnnys5: @/nicolasnics5 I’m sure you can help him with that given your occupation, yeah?

•. flightsuresh: @/nicolasnics5 I’m a lawyer who’s positive that you and I are are nowhere near the same tax bracket. So why don’t you go back to…whatever it is that you do. Go touch grass before you think you can speak to me.

•. nicolasnics5: @/flightsuresh ah…you’re just as much as a arsehole as the rest of us. You’ve just got your ticket to hell too! I know how much you like storing objects away and never speaking on them. See you there🫡

katatics: I can’t believe I ever considered this person a friend! She’s done finnie and I the most wrong when we’ve been the best she’s ever had.

•. @/loveislandfan: now girl…shut that shit up.

•. @/lovdislandfan2: im sorry? Somebody roll the tapes for the delusional.

•. @/loveislandfan3: could have been much better to MC. You’ve got some real deep rooted issues and first you need to start working on that possessiveness,,, it’s not healthy boo

•. @/loveislandfan4: you’ve done nothing wrong! #justiceforkat I hope you and finnie get married soon!

•. iamdanas5: @/katatics let’s not start this over social media babes!

•. katatics: @/iamdanas5 SHE started it so I’m going to finish it! She’s done enough by embarrassing us in front of the world once but she won’t get a THIRD time. I promise you.

•. meerasweetisland: @/katatics I love you girlie. Can’t wait to see you shine like the star you are! Let’s get together soon? 🫶🏽

•. katatics: @/meerasweetisland well duh babes! My DMs are always open + you have my number just let me know & bring me some of your luscious shampoo 😘

•. arlofit: @/katatics @/meerasweetisland where’s my invite?

•. katatics: @/arlofit 💌!!! Teach me some moves in the ring soon?

•. MCs5: @/katatics that won’t help you. I’ll see you in a few months…oh and thanks for the stream 💋👅

•. iamdanas5: @/MCs5 🤭

iamdanas5: @/iamdanas5 @/MCs5 wait🫤

•. itsgabiland: @/iamdanas5 no you had it right the first time 🥶

wildpete: uh…what did I miss?

[tintinwrites]

build a little home | Din Djarin x Reader | Part One

A/N: I know this fic was mentioned quite a bit ago and here you are, part one!!! This is set before or at the start of season 2 so baby ain’t named yet. He’s just Child/kid/baby right now!

Rating: T

Warning: Sexual references. Mando tries to step on a rat lmao. There’s a brief mention of peeing idk?

Word count: 2,650, apparently!!

Summary: Being chased by a dangerous group who wants reward money, you, Mando, and the Child move into a basement on a planet where no one will think of looking for you.

GIF credit: ^

Tags: Since this is a miniseries I’m just going to leave this open for whoever wants, so I don’t tag a bunch of people who aren’t interested!

                                            -------------------------

“—looks like this is our home, little one.”

You and the kid on your hip looked at each other before you both continued down the steps into the underground level of the home; it was a small room with some shelves and a small bed pressed up against one of the walls, the only light coming in from a small window on the opposite side of the room.

The Mandalorian stepped down behind you and looked at the room silently, most of his attention on the man who was following with what few belongings you’d packed, speaking in his native language as he explained what was set up for you and where things were.

The three of you would be staying here for the foreseeable future, in a basement on a nowhere planet, because there was a group who wanted the reward money for the Child and they nearly cornered you a couple times as it was.

If it wasn’t for your or Mando’s quick thinking each time they found you again, they would’ve succeeded in their mission.

You both knew that meant the Child would be with Moff Gideon and neither of you wanted that, so you agreed that it would be best to hide out somewhere that they wouldn’t think to look until they gave up searching.

And there you were, on a small planet with small exports that no one thought about, looking around a discreet basement under the home of an ordinary couple where you would be staying, waiting for your connections on other planets to send messages that this group was no longer looking for you.

“It’s perfect, thank you.” Mando’s awkward politeness was something you always found so cute about him, though you would never tell him that you thought any part of him was cute unless you wanted that helmet of his to tilt in offense.

“Thank you so much,” you added, and the man nodded with a polite smile before retreating up the stairs and shutting the door.

You set the Child on the floor when he squirmed to be put down, walking around the small room to look at the items on the shelf.

Mando looked around the room again and then moved his gaze to you, quietly watching as you looked at all of the things that made up your hideout. “He said there’s only one bed and he assumed that we...I will sleep in the chair.”

His almost embarrassed tone made you look at him with a raised eyebrow as you wondered just what the man assumed about the two of you, but it was a pretty easy guess since the two of you traveled together, you supposed.

Not that you and Mando did need to sleep in a bed together, but it was easy to assume simply because you were two adults who were companions and...you were embarrassed too at the thought of someone thinking the two of you did things that involved one bed, looking at the chair he mentioned.

“I can’t let you do that,” you said with a soft gasp as you eyed the old, dusty seat.

“I sleep in the cockpit.” He walked around the room slowly, pulling a tattered curtain to cover up the small window in case anyone was trying to look in.

“I never said I liked that either, but there’s a spring sticking out of this!”

“That’s fine.”

He’d finished looking around to be sure there were no other ways to access the basement aside from the entrance and the window, faltering when he moved to your side and saw that the spring was in the seat of the chair and it would probably poke him right in the…

He crouched down in front of the chair and began toying with the spring to see if there was any way he could push it back in or even take it out.

You knew that being in the same bed with him was going to be awkward, but you couldn’t let him sleep in a chair and especially one as broken as this one. “Mando, we’re adults, are we not?”

There was silence for a brief second as he pushed the spring in triumphantly, then it popped right back out and he dropped his head with a huff.

“I am. Some might say your adulthood is up for debate.” He always told jokes with such a level tone that you wondered if he was serious sometimes.

“You’re hilarious, but I mean that we’re both adults, so I think we can sleep in the same bed and not think too much of it.” Sometimes you thought of being in bed with Mando the way that man assumed, but you knew that wasn’t going to happen and you were perfectly capable of sleeping next to him without needing to do that.

“Where’s the kid?” He changed the subject, but he seemed to be considering the bed as he stood up and stared at the chair.

“I think he’s just looking at the room.” You glanced around and frowned when you noticed the child wasn’t in sight.

Then you heard shuffling from under the bed and you smiled, walking over and crouching down to take a look at what he was doing under there.

There was a thumping sound that made you laugh a bit as you leaned down. “You won’t find any snacks there, little guy.”

Just as you were reaching a hand in to grab the Child out, something leaned into your side and your brow furrowed to see who you thought to be playing with the bed was standing right there, watching what you were doing.

You looked back to where you were reaching and you jumped back with a soft cry when a furry, little creature ran out with a piece of cloth that it was probably going to use to make its own bed or something.

“Mando!” Your cry of his name made his head snap up from where he was fiddling with the chair to see if you were in danger.

“You okay?” He took one step towards you and that’s when he saw the little animal running across the room.

Tilting his head at the idea that you were afraid of that, he lifted a boot and raised it over the thing as it immediately paused and cowered in fear.

He was just about to step on it when you leaped to your feet with a gasp, running with your hands held out. “You can’t step on the little guy!”

“I was under the impression you were scared of it and didn’t want it here,” he deadpanned, but he stood there with his weapon of choice hovering right over the creature.

“He scared me, yes, but he’s a living thing even if he’s creepy. Your idea is to step on him anyway? I don’t wanna hear that crunch.” You scowled at the thought of it, looking around the room for an idea.

“Maybe he could sleep in the bed.” It was obvious by his tone that he was smiling beneath his helmet at his own joke, and all you did was glare at him before your gaze landed on the window.

“Let’s put him outside.” You walked over and pulled the curtains aside to see that no one was around, looking over the window before finding the handle to open it.

“By ‘let’s’, you mean I’m supposed to grab it and put it outside.”

“Yep.”

“It’s a good thing that I...forget it.” He grumbled, setting his boot back down on the floor to see that the animal was no longer there.

You immediately pressed against the wall in a failed attempt to climb up it in case it was running around on the floor, and Mando looked behind himself and under a shelf behind him.

A squeak made him look to the side, where he saw the thing squirming in the Child’s grip as he brought it towards his mouth. “No!”

He swept towards the kid like any father would when they saw their offspring misbehaving, bending over and pulling for a minute to make him release the creature, wagging his finger in his face to show him he’d done bad.

“How many times do I have to go over this with you? Not everything is food and if you’re hungry, you tell one of us and we’ll show you what you can eat.” He plucked the fabric that the critter dropped off the floor and let it take it back in its teeth, walking over to join you at the window.

“Don’t you ever feed that kid real food?” You joked despite being pressed against the wall and watching warily as if that thing would jump out of Mando’s hands.

“You’ve been partially in charge of him since I took you in.”

“Then I should go find him something to eat, huh?”

It was mostly an excuse to be away from the animal as you walked to the other side of the room and scooped the Child into your arms, setting him down on the bed where you looked through your pack.

Mando shook his head, guiding the creature through the opening of the window and watching it immediately scamper off like it knew where it was going; it probably only came into the basement in search of things it could use or eat, and now it was running home.

Probably to its family.

He turned away to watch you as you opened a packet of wafers for the kid to munch on, letting him sit in your lap and eat as you looked up at the man who was staring at you.

“Hey, Mando?”

“Yeah?”

“What happens if we need to use the ‘fresher to, like, pee?”

He looked around the room so he could point out a door that led to a refresher, but he realized that there wasn’t even any kind of receptacle in the room that you could use as a makeshift toilet for the time being. His helmet thunked back against the wall and he let out a loud, long groan.

                                            ----------------------------

Since the only light source in the basement was the window, the man whose home you were staying under came down before sunset to place a few charged up lamps that allowed you to not be in the pitch black dark.

Mando took off his cape and folded it so he could sit in the chair without the spring right on him, leaning against the back of the chair with his arms crossed over his chest, and you were putting the baby to sleep in the bed.

“—and the man took one of the stars from the sky and used it to always light his way so he wouldn’t fall into any more animal burrows.” You looked up at the plain, tan ceiling with a soft hum. “This would be much more interesting if we could see the stars. Don’t you think?”

There was no tiny babble in response and you looked to your side to see that the Child was fast asleep, and you smiled softly as you tucked the blanket around him a little more.

You looked over at Mando and assumed he was asleep, too, with the way his head was tilted back, so you slid out of bed and moved around the room to turn the lamps off.

Just as you were touching the button to turn off the one by the bed, you heard him ask, “Where did you hear that story?���

“My mother taught it to me when I was young...it was my favorite.” You liked the idea of staying up with him just to talk since that wasn’t something you usually did, deciding not to turn off the lamp as you sat on the bed facing his chair.

“Your favorite story is about someone who’s clumsy?” His tone was slightly teasing as if you were often clumsy when, really, you only tripped or walked into things sometimes.

“Shut up. Aren’t there stories from your childhood that you loved more than any others? One about a grumpy warrior with a green son and he walks around being mean?”

“I don’t remember them.”

There was something in the way he said it that made you not want to push him, like thinking of something like a story from when he was a kid was painful for him.

You laid back on the bed. “What if there’s more of those little animals running around here?”

“The kid can eat those ones.”

“Mando.” You were both scared that there would be more of the creatures and you also could tell that chair was not a fun place to sleep, and you weren’t going to let possible awkwardness make him stay there. “Will you come into the bed, please? Just in case there are some more?”

“I’m right here if you need something.”

“Please just come here.”

There was a moment of hesitation and then he slowly pushed himself out of the chair, walking around to the other side of the bed where he carefully sat down.

The Child was between you and Mando stayed sitting up with his back against the headboard, but it was a little awkward to be in the same space like that.

You were both silent for a bit and then you asked, “Would you like me to tell you a story to remember?”

You could almost hear his eye roll. “Go to sleep.”

“I hope they give up on us quickly if you’re gonna be grumpy the entire time we’re hiding out.”

“I am not grumpy.”

“Right, this is your normal self, we’re just not usually around each other for this long because you’re hunting bounties and I’m looking after the Child.”

“Would you like to sleep outside with rats?”

You let out a rather embarrassing snort of a laugh that you quieted so you wouldn’t wake up the kid sleeping next to you, and Mando tilted his head down to watch you with amusement.

He looked up at the ceiling as you continued to giggle to yourself, smiling just a little even when you’d stopped as he was a little prideful for making you laugh like that.

It was kind of nice to be in bed with you and not as terrifying as he thought it might be; you really were both adults and neither of you were going to do something to hurt the other.

Not that anything you could do to him in bed would offend him, but there would need to be a lot of discussion before you took that step in your relationship and he was pretty certain you wouldn’t want to do anything like that with him anyway.

“You can tell a story if you want,” he said nonchalantly, because even if he did tease you and even if being in bed with you made his mind wander to activities that wouldn’t be happening, he liked listening to you.

He looked down when you didn’t say anything to find you were fast asleep, one of your arms wrapped around the kid.

With a soft grunt, he leaned back a bit into the bed to sleep a little himself, thinking that it would be nice if the group that wanted the Child would stop searching for you quickly so you wouldn’t need to hide for long. Though he could admit that it was nice to enjoy a little break from bounty hunting and running even if it was to hide in a small room, under a stranger’s house, on a random planet that no one even really knew the name of so a group of criminals wouldn’t let the baby be hurt for a few credits.

Really, it was just nice to be in a quiet, normal place with the baby and you.

[shimmershae]

Just watched the episode and I’m going to have a lot of thoughts for you, most of them probably bordering on incoherence (LOL) so this is your last chance to nope on out of this post because I’m going to go ahead and put everything else behind a cut to save the eyes that do not want to see any  spoilers at all.  Unlike mine, that very much wanted to see but in a lot of cases?  Could not see shit, but I digress.

Shae’s stream of consciousness coming at you in 3-2-1.  

First of all, can I saw how good it is to have my show back again?  Like, no.  I don’t quite have Season 5 levels of excitement about the new/last season, but it is definitely nice to have all these characters back.  

So all these thoughts of mine.  Okay.  Bear with me because there be a whole lot of them, lol.  

My immediate impression as the episode opened was WHOA.  Such a cool shot of Daryl with one light wing, one dark wing (representing the two sides to Daryl maybe--the man of honor versus the man he was raised to be, hmm?) looking out over some dark vista of something.  Seriously.  It’s dark.  My room is also dark at the moment and still I was squinting to see.  To make out what I’m “looking” at.  I really, really hope the rest of this season isn’t this hard to make out.  

Is that a tank?  Kinda sorta a callback to Rick’s first episode?  If so, cool.  If not, well.  Us fans have always put way more thought into things.  For real.  Change my mind.  

Holy intense eye contact, Batman!  Daryl Dixon has literally never looked at anyone--not BethusConLeah--in quite the same smoldering way as he looks at Carol.  It’s next level.  I don’t know why people be fooling themselves into thinking different.  

Let’s see.  I can make out--besides Daryl, Maggie, and that face mask dude I already forgot the name of--Kelly, Magna, Jerry (who’s that with him?), and Carol.  Sorry.  My world, like Daryl’s, inevitably narrows to Carol.  She’s loking fierce and fine AF per usual.  

Was that Rosita I noticed rewinding to relive Daryl eye-fucking Carol?  

I’m guessing this is the army base they talked about in 10C.  

That Walker perking up like “I smell food--pancakes and bacon and oohhhh” has me giggling inappropriately right off the bat.  WTF.  

Look at all my fabulous ladies tiptoeing through that Walker minefield.  And Carol spotting that gun that might be useful right away.  Listen, if you don’t think her mind ain’t always ten steps ahead of everybody else’s, you’d be wrong.  

So.  Are these Walkers just so old and feeble not even the call of fresh meat attracts them?  Because just tiptoeing through their midst without the knockoff Lady Gaga meatsuits or skin masks has never really worked before that I can remember.  

I just want to see most of this season.  Is that really too much to ask?  Don’t X-Files and Game of Thrones us, Angela.  Please and thank you very fucking much.  

Okay.  Is the one drop of blood thing making anybody else have 28 Days Later vibes?  Kinda?  Sorta?  No?  Just me?  Okay then.  Carry on.  

Wait a minute, though.�� How they be explaining how Daryl keeeps acquiring all these new tats all the time?  Hmm?  It’s like they just quit giving a shit about continuity in these latter seasons.  

I mean.  Do Walkers sleep now?  LMAO.  What is this?  I guess they’re constantly evolving?  

There’s my baby Lydia.  Love my smol bean.  

Alright though.  I love to see the ladies of TWD kick some ass.  It’s very gratifying.  Gimps would never.  Thank you, Angela.  

Clever, resourceful, calm and collected, quick thinking Carol to the rescue!  Seriously.  Her haters must be withering away inside with absolute envy.  

Hey, ya’ll.  Remember when Carol was still mastering her sharpshooting skills at the Prison yard and shot at Rick’s feet?  Her little “sorry, sorry”?  LOL.  If Rick could only see her now.  Wait.  He already knew what so many of his stans refuse to acknowledge--Carol=ultimate survivor and true savior to the group many times over.  

Maggie’s got herself a gun, too.  Go my badass girls.  

Of course, Carol’s got everybody’s back.  Of fucking course, Daryl’s got hers even when everybody else seem frozen in some kind of awe or stupification or something.  Microcosm of the whole damn show right there.  

Carol’s like “here’s your knives, love of my life.”   

Eh.  Maybe that’s just me.  

Nah.  She’s totally thinking it, too.  

YAS!  YAS!  Norman Reedus and Melissa McBride with the top billing.  How very far my babies have come.  

Listen.  I miss all the characters we’ve lost.  Absolutely.  But I love the ones that are still with us, that have been with us for so very long so hard.  Whether I love their stories or decisions or not.  

Is that THE Alexandria sign?  That sign’s been through some shit.  

DOG!  Daryl kneeling to embrace our Grimes babies has me all up in my feels.  And how cute is Dog getting all excited and making sure he’s the first one there to welcome back, Daddy?  

Hershel is literally just as puppy dog cute as Glenn ever was.  Really some Grade A casting.  

What did Maggie call Mr. T?  Ducky?  Dougie?  Sometimes with Maggie?  I really cannot tell.  Anyway.  He’s Mr. T. for me until I find out differently, probably through rewatching with close captioning, lol.  

Maggie’s got more people.  So.  Some new redshirts to sacrifice for plot purposes.  I don’t know if I should bother learning their names or not. 

I seem to remember Meridian being mentioned in one of the episode synopses.  

Sophia’s hair tie around Carol’s neck will never fail to be an emotional throat punch.  My heart.  

“They come at night and by the time you see them, you’re already dead.”  Welp.  Guess that means we ain’t seeing shit for at least this first third of the season, lol.  Very horror-eque though.  

“You’re leaving to fight ghosts.”  Aaron, to Maggie.  So I see Aaron’s the type to get the hell outta Dodge when the Boogeyman comes calling, hahaha.  Least he was.  In the old world.  

Rosita’s pissed off expression at Gabe’s decision to volunteer for the so-called suicide mission gives me life.  

My baby Carol is tired AF of suicide missions.  You can tell.  Also?  Methinks she has something to prove to Daryl here.  Or at least feels like she does.  

Dog with his little tactical vest.  I love it.  

I guess I get why they had Carol and Rosita stay behind.  They had to more evenly split up the badassery to make things more fair and balanced, lol.  

Okay.  So Negan’s definitely earned everybody’s disdain.  But they’re being woefully short-sighted by not at least hearing the dude out.  Isn’t he at least native to the area?  

“That is God telling us to turn around.”  I’m actually on Negan’s side with this one, but Gabe answering him with “I’m pretty sure he would have run that past me first” has me howling with laughter.  Father Gabe has gone straight up savage in these last couple of seasons.  Rosita’s influence, perhaps?  

I see what Angela is doing.  Trying to make Negan the voice of reason.  In this particular case?  It’s kind of working.  I’m still ultimately on Maggie’s side with this though BECAUSE GLENN.  

Imagine showing up to work and unironically dressing like a storm trooper every day.  Excuse me while I LOL.  

Even in the ZA, there’s bullshit paperwork.  

“Pumpkin colored spacesuit.”  Good one, Ezekiel.  

LOL forever.  I love Princess.  

“Michonne.  Our Michonne shut people out of Alexandria for years.”  Timely reminder that choices aren’t always perfect.  Neither are people.  

WTF is reprocessing?  Sounds ominous.  LMAO at Eugene’s “Okay.  We gotta go.”  

What in the actual hell with all those bagged, squirming undead?  Creepy AF in that subway tunnel.  

Should I just go ahead and call that the Easter bunny?  We’ve had some version of it pop up since Season 1.  

Is it stubborn pride with Maggie or what?  Why go through with something when all signs point toward the wisdom of stopping?  You can argue that she’s acting similarly to Carol last season, but there’s a huge difference here folks.  Carol did her damndest to Lone Wolf that shit and minimize the danger to those she loved.  Maggie’s straight up enlisting those she “cares about” to carry out her mission of revenge or vengeance, what have you. Let’s see if she gets near the amount of hate for it.  Personally, I don’t blame her for her feelings one bit.  They are valid.  But her knowingly drawing the others into the game?  That’s my sticking point.  That’s how she and Carol differ, even if some people refuse to see or accept it.  Anyway.  Hopping right on off my soapbox.  

“Why don’t you get up on your little tippy toes and try?”  Omigosh, I’d dying.  When I tell you I about passed out with laughter, I do not exaggerate.  I should hate Negan forever and I do.  Really.  But I adore JDM and he frequently makes me LOL.  He’s made Negan entertaining if not completely redeemable since Angela took over and more layered so I say kudos.  

He has a point about Maggie playing dictator.  Damn you, show, for slanting the writing just that smidgen that makes Negan make sense over his victim.  I guess, though, it’s better this way.  Gives both characters more shades of gray.  

“He’s a dick but he makes sense.”  I feel like this is Angela calling us all out when we dare to harbor any lasting resentment toward Negan for what he did to Glenn.  

Speaking of--Negan.  You deserved Daryl’s punch to the mouth.  You just went a bridge too damn far.  

“Keep pushing me, Negan.  Please.”  Warning shots fired, Asshole.  You better watch yourself around the Widow Rhee.  

Have I mentioned how much I love Princess?  Her shipping the Commonwealth guards is killing me, lol.  I can’t wait ‘til she meets Carol and Daryl.  She’s going to have their number in two seconds flat.  

I like Ezekiel and Princess as a duo.  I’m not saying romantically necessarily.  I just like them in scenes together because they’re fun.  There’s sort of a protective indulgence Ezekiel seems to telegraph whenever they’re in scenes together.  Like he’s like don’t hurt this one.  I don’t know.  For all these words I’ve written, I can’t quite find the ones to adequately describe what I mean.  

The wall of the lost gives me such Battlestar Galactica feels.  What sad thoughts it inspires.  

Eugene in that Commonwealth gear.  Omigosh, lol.  So did they just sneak up and take Princess’s little Commonwealth ship’s gear when they were sneaking off on their own to have a quickie?  

Princess finding that note for Yumiko on the wall actually gave me chills.  Yeah.  I’m easy.  Just the suggestion of someone getting reunited with lost family gets me all up in my feels.  Yumiko saying “I have to stay”?  I felt that.  

Oh no.  Dog ran off!  Somebody protect my favorite fictional puppy.  Of course, Daryl goes after him.  He’s always been the sweet one.  Merle said it.  

Eh.  Negan taking Maggie’s hand at the end there would have smacked too much of Negan Sue and Maggie’s biggest plot of the season would have been prematurely dealt with so I get why they did what they did.  But c’mon.  It’s not really that big of a cliffhanger, is it?  

Okay, so Angela calls those sleeping beauty Walkers “Lurkers” and I get it.  Apparently they’re a bigger deal in the comics, but I really don’t remember seeing them all that much on the actual show.  Somebody jog my memory.  

Of fucking course, you can actually see what’s happening in the inside the episode clips.  I wish we could choose to view the episode with that lighting because some of us be blind.  And this time I mean in the more literal sense.  Not the figurative one.  

Anyway.  I’m going to stop trying to write a novel for ya’ll and move on to better things.  Like maybe a nap.  Maybe some early dinner.  I don’t know.  I’m tired AF and need a little recharge.    

Before I go, though?  Overall impression of the episode?  I liked it.  There were parts that I loved (all the ladies being badass, every second of Carol, Daryl reuniting with the Grimes babies and Dog, all things Princess, some of Negan’s one-liners about had me busting a gut, Rosita serving looks, Kelly and Lydia getting to be badass too) and parts I didn’t love (not being able to see a damn thing, Angela trying to tip the scales in Negan’s favor, not enough Carol or Aaron or Rosita, no reunion between Aunt Carol and the Grimes babies even though that picture floating around suggests it was at least shot, not being able to see a damn thing, all the Alexandria people playing follow the leader for Maggie when she’s been gone 6 years and Daryl’s right there--hell, even Father G deserves the honor over her because it’s obvious they’re not exactly on the same wavelength anymore).  

I don’t know about anybody else, but I’m just glad to have our show back.    

Later, lovelies.  

[fluffyglass]

THE MR. RUDE APOLOGISM MASTERPOST

you may be asking "Oh dear god what has Finn gotten up to this time?" well, that my friend, is a very valid question! The answer to which is as follows: He's rewatched every single TMMS segment with Mr. Rude in it to prove that he's done nothing wrong!

After many many hours of rewatching, I've come to some conclusions on the depressed tomato man. I'll give a quick rundown here, then throw my episode by episode analysis under the cut.

Season 1

Mr. Rude is in 30 episodes in Season 1.

In only 3 of these episodes does he do anything wrong.

In 4 of the episodes where he's innocent, Mr. Fussy yells at him for no reason.

Season 2

Mr. Rude is in 30 episodes in Season 2.

In only 6 of these episodes does he do anything wrong.

In 1 of the episodes where he's innocent, as well as one where he did do something wrong, Mr. Fussy yells at him for no reason.

Conclusions

In total, Mr. Rude only actually did anything wrong in 9 out of the 60 segments he's in, which is 15%. That's less than a quarter of the time. Even counting the three episodes I was unsure about, that's only 12/60. 20%. Still less than a quarter.

Why have I been bringing up Mr. Fussy? Because this experience genuinely made me not like him anymore. In only one out of Mr. Fussy's 7 appearances with Mr. Rude does he not yell at him, and in five of the times he does - it was completely unjustified.

Now, onto the episode by episode section!

Ah, you wanna see my episode by episode analysis? Well, I'll give you a quick color legend first.

Yellow - Mr. Rude does nothing wrong

Red - Mr. Rude does something wrong

Blue - Mr. Fussy yells at Mr. Rude for no reason

Pink - I have no idea what to put for this one lmao

Also, there's a ton of cursing in here because I wrote these notes as I went along and I don't feel like editing them to be more professional. You get what you get when it comes to Mr. Rude apologism.

SEASON 1

Flying - He does nothing wrong, he just asked Mr. Grumpy to do his fucking job. Though, I will admit, he was a dick about it.

Music - He does nothing wrong, Miss Naughty is a fucking bitch and Mr. Fussy targeted him for no got damn reason even though he has fucking ears and should have heard Miss Naughty going off on her fucking cymbals. Miss Naughty also tried to poison him so

Farm - He does nothing wrong, those bitch ass crows broke his fucking robot I cant believe this.

Booboos - He does nothing wrong, he literally just wants some decent service while he is in the fucking hospital and Mr. Scatterbrain is a fucking moron about it

Mall - He's barely in it and I will admit he is a bit of an asshole in this one but he doesn't do anything explicitly wrong

Birthday - He does nothing wrong, he just wants to buy a birthday present for his homie Mr. Grumpy. In fact, he shows that he cares about his friend because he knows what he would want (and gets something he wouldnt like, presumably as a joke). Hes a caring friend but also a troll.

Superstore - He does nothing wrong, he just wants to return his shitty toaster. It ends up well for everyone involved :)

Books - He does nothing wrong, he is literally just neurodivergent and cannot read social situations

Camping - He does nothing wrong, he tried to warn everyone that they were going the wrong way, and then called out Miss Whoops on her fucking bullshit and putting everyone in danger. He then proceeded to fucking die. Miss Daredevil doesnt even give a shit about two of the raft riders fucking dying what the fuck.

Paint - He does nothing wrong, he just wants to finish his painting commission.

Jobs - This is the one I time I'll admit he does something really wrong. He commits multiple driving related crimes, as well as throwing his sandwich at Mr. Quiet, splashing Mr. Nosey and Mr. Small, and taking advantage of Mr. Scatterbrain's stupidity. He also crumpled up Mr. Scatterbrain's drawing of a hamster.

Trains - He does nothing wrong, Mr. Fussy's a bitch ass motherfucker, and he did more good than bad because he rescued Mr. Messy at the end.

Fair - He does nothing wrong, he got a fucking pie yeeted at him of course he wouldn't like it. He does put the pie in Mr. Scatterbrain's face though but he already got it in his face so it's just even now. He then proceeds to be pelted with pies. But thankfully it seems like they're both having fun by the end.

Movies - Yeah he's a bit of an asshole in this one. He puts too much cheese on Mr. Happy's nachos (and then throws them at him). He does get his karma though cause he gets fucking trapped in the popcorn machine someone please save him oh my god.

Dance - He does nothing wrong, he just has taste.

Inventions - He does nothing wrong, Miss Chatterbox just doesnt like him for the way he is which is super fucked up of her. What the fuck, man. He accepts Miss Chatterbox's invention regardless. He then proceeds to be abused by everyone around him. Hes totally justified in being mean at the end.

Amusement Park - Okay yeah he was an asshole in this one, cause he was rude to Miss Calamity about her supposed grooming habits. However, he was also abused a lot during multiple of the bumpers, which I guess counts as karma.

Adventure - He literally doesnt even do anything in this one

Rainy Day - Dude, his entire fucking family died. Give him a break.

Games - He did nothing wrong, he won the fucking game but Mr. Scatterbrain took the credit what the fuck he only had 3 POINTS MR RUDE HAD 4 MR. HAPPY YOU DUMB YELLOW FUCK LEARN HOW TO COUNT

Restaurants - He does nothing wrong, Mr. Fussy is so fucking mean to him I will never get over this he deserves so much better what the fuck

Cars - he's just vibin man

Canned Goods - He does nothing wrong, he just ate some beans man

Collecting - he's barely in it and just kinda vibes

Full Moon - He does nothing wrong, he legit just got kidnapped by some fucking aliens with his alien husband

Heatwave - He does nothing wrong, 6 gay men just casually committed acts of Home Invasion and are going to be arrested for their crimes against him.

Sleep - He does nothing wrong, and I doubt anyone would have even noticed he was asleep if Miss Chatterbox kept her fucking mouth shut. He cant control what hes doing if hes fucking asleep. Even after all that he still clapped for Mr. Fussy, who hates him, at the end. What a champ.

Carwash - He does nothing wrong, Miss Calamity technically fucking kidnapped him what the fuck.

Lawns - He does nothing wrong, he didn't want to take his lawn to begin with and then got his lawn ruined for literally no reason, even after warning Me. Nosey and Mr. Small that their invention was gonna explode. He even gave Miss Chatterbox the joy in knowing she "won".

Parade - He does nothing wrong, he legit just made a float and Mr. Fussy fucking bullied him for it. What the fuck.

SEASON 2

Clean Teeth - Yeah hes a bitch in this one but Mr. Fussy was also a bitch so it evens out.

Airports - He does nothing wrong, he just wanted to go on his flight. Of anything, Miss Scary was more rude than he was.

Game Shows - He does nothing wrong like. Genuinely nothing, and then gets physically assaulted.

Hats - He does nothing wrong, Mr. Grumpy's just a fucking bitch and took credit for both his and Mr. Tickles hats. What the fuck, man.

Robots - He does nothing wrong, he legit just got his baguette burnt wtf

Up and Down - He's fine for the first bit but I will admit hes an asshole in the second one

Gifts - He does nothing wrong, he's just trying to keep Mr. Tickle from fucking assaulting people. Then his entire store is destroyed for no reason.

Sun and Moon - He does nothing wrong, he barely did anything at all

Telephone - I refused to watch this one I just know hes a bitch in it

Washing and Drying - He does nothing wrong, he just wanted his laundry done and he got assaulted at the end. Why is this a trend.

Fruit - He stole Miss Sunshines fucking fruit and then proceeded to endanger everyone around him by driving recklessly. What the fuck, man.

Radio - He does nothing wrong, Mr. Scatterbrain is just a moron, and Miss Whoops is a dumbass.

Supermarket - ???

Cinema - He doesn't do anything wrong, and he looks very nice in his new hat.

Post Office - He doesn't do anything wrong, hes trying his best okay (he also gets covered in stamps at the end)

Pets - He doesn't do anything wrong, he doesn't do anything at all

Dance Dance Dance - He doesn't do anything wrong, Mr. Fussy's a fucking bitch

Trees - He doesn't do anything wrong, someone free him

Library - He didnt even do anything man

Pirates - He doesn't do anything wrong, in fact he is the first to jump in and protect his crewmates from the aliens. He also saves the entire space crew in the end.

Trains and Planes - He doesn't do anything wrong, he barely does anything to begin with

Out to Sea - He doesn't do anything wrong, it makes sense for him to act in his own self interest because he was stuck on a deserted island with those three morons for 30 fucking days. He didn't intend to take the boat, because the tide rolled him out. He is now inevitably going to die.

Next Door - Yeah hes a bitch in this one, but he didnt deserve to get his fucking car crushed.

Lunch - He doesn't do anything wrong, Mr. Stubborn drew first blood.

Machines - This is a weird one. Is he really in the wrong for wanting to go home? I mean, it's safe to assume Miss Giggles is fucking dead if she was taken by a dinosaur. He even vows not to doubt Miss Daredevil at the end and is happy to see Miss Giggles okay

Fairies and Gnomes - even though he thinks it's silly that Mr. Nervous is scared of a garden gnome, he still "arrests" it to make him happy :)

Home Improvement - He doesn't do anything wrong, Mr. Stubborn is just a moron.

Birds - He doesn't do anything wrong, he was even nice enough to invite Mr. Nervous along for the birdwatching trip. He's totally justified in not giving a shit about Mr. Fussy because Mr. Fussy has been nothing bit horrible to him the entire show.

Parks - He does nothing wrong he just wanted a burger

Surprises - Refused to watch this one again, I just know hes a bitch

Wow, that's a lot. Anyways, as a proud Mr. Rude apologist, I conclude that he's an innocent man and doesn't deserve the shit he gets. I can get taking his drivers license though that man cannot drive for the life of him

[beecherdrysdale]

Hiii my bbs, I hope you are well. Get ready for a longgg post.

Some opening thoughts:

Brigid and I will be buying new chains for our boys. Esp for Quinner because he doesn’t have one and I want to start seeing this �� look. Kesh care to join us?

- a baby that looks like Jamie and has his cute freckles. Brigid knows what I’m taking about.

Also brigid would like like Jamie’s beanie vv much so now we both are in that club because I have quinners and Brigid has Jamie’s.

- Mykonos is gorgeous. That is that.

- I am loving Brigid tracing Jamie’s freckles while he sleeps🥺 and I find it adorable that Brigid can only sleep with Jamie :)this would so be insta worthy photos.

- hehe yes to getting beeped by machines!! Okkk I’m glad, so Lexi is busy with Quinner means that we are just getting coffeeee. We aren’t like you and Jamie who make out in arenas.

- hehe Jamie would just be glaring at cozzy when he sits down, and cozzy becomes slightly terrified so he gives up the seat but still wants $50 because he wants to buy himself something on the flight. He goes to sit w his sleeping buddy devon. Kesh and Kirby are just to cool to deal with our crazy shit in the morning.

-no sore neck for Dylan. Thank you brigid. Yes to all of these soft moments. Playing with each other’s hair, the freckle tracing and the slightly heated make out that you would be having while Dylan is sleeping because I don’t think he could handle that lol. Another thought jamie just helping you fidget less because you keep hitting the back of Bowen’s seat and he’s sleeping.

- Kesh and Kirby are like the star couple, they are just perfect with each other. I understand why you wouldn’t want to know us esp when quinton Braden and Peyton start to throw snacks over the seats.

-honestly if I had that much coffee I would probably throw up, but kudos to Quinner for passing out after consuming all of that. I want freckles kisses but also I would play with jacks rope bracelets and w his hair 🥺. You would probably get really annoyed because of my leg tapping so Quinner also needs to calm that down as well.

- me slapping Ryan to wake up is just vv funny to me. Yess to them admiring our hair . Whenever I travel to warm places my skin always clears uppp so it’s nice.

-yay we are all sharing rooms w our bbs. hey hey

hey I’m not that dirty minded but like how can you resist? I don’t wanna hear to much from the two of you I mean it 😏. Omg I just had an idea imagine everybody just running into each other’s rooms and chasing each other. I hope we don’t walk in on you two lol. And we all settle in one room and have a slumber party lol. Face masks w the boys ‘I’m sorry why is it green’ ‘calm down, it’s a cucumber face mask it’ll hydrate your skin’ and then when they take them off the boys are glowing heheh.

- ok so I’ve bought an entire new wardrobe for this trip lol l. Ooo shopping would be vv fun. In this reality we have money hehe. Jamie carrying you into the water is 🤌 and I love it. Me and Quinner still need to be chaotic so we push each other into waves and then Brigid and jamie join. Meanwhile Kesh and Kirby are just chilling. Yesss with the hair slicked back and just wrapping your legs around their waists and maybeeeee kissing.

-finally me and Brigid are on the same team. Like Ryan you hit me in the face brigid will hit you 2x harder. Yess to all of us having moments on the beach at night.

- apparently we had some eventful nights😏 ehich I love even some of the boys because they want to have summer flings so no early morning for us. I love hotel breakfast as well esp if they have a buffet because you can eat as much as you want.

- cliff diving: ofc Brigid and Dylan go first because they are literally not scared of anything. aww you grabbing Jamie’s hand while he’s terrified. While that’s happening me and Ryan are hyping each other up, we slap each other on the backs etc. And we start to run and I get Quinner to come even if he’s terrified. I’d probably yell ‘let’s fucking goooo’ Brigid I’m making you the person that yells Marco the entire time lol cuz you are the swimmer of the group. Hehe us blaming Kesh and Kirby because they couldn’t figure out how to get out of the water. just a thought, wouldn’t it be better if you stay with the boys just in case they have trouble swimming and you can help them. And maybe I can go with Dylan and bond with him a bit. Any way works tho :). Hehe once everybody gets to the beach we are just crawling because we are tired from swimming and we just sleep on the beach lol.

- I’m good with dong half and half- snorkelling and scuba. Awww you holding Jamie’s hand and pulling him along. Same with me and Quinner and kesh and Kirby. I was terrified lol . Oo that’s so cool that you got to swim with turtles. That’s great for 8 year old Brigid:)).

Ooo a catamaran is so fun as well. Anyways dylan is just talented at everything. So he plays guitar and maybe he can help me reawaken my guitar skills. So I just watch him lol. Finally somebody who doesn’t make fun of me listening to the mamma Mia sound track. I love it sm and it just gives off the biggest Greece vibes. Aww and all of us just singing softly. And then just cuddling with the boys in the sun and me taking a bunch of photos! Aloe Vera it is😏😏.

Side story: so brigid you are playing music on the speakers while we are on the boat and Jamie goes to change the song and sees that there is an adorable photo of you and him as your wallpaper and he asks ‘you have me as your lock screen’ and you blush and say yes and he gives you the biggest kiss and then the rest of the boys are like awwww and all compare lock screens. And then Quinner looks at mine and smiles same w Kirby.

Yayyy us dressing cute all of hair is in natural waves/curls and getting dinner at a cute restaurant. and then exploring the nightlife in Mykonos. Ooo the drinks are a plus to us being chaotic at night. Like we would laugh so much at night. Awww kisses under the moon and then backkkk to the hotel for spicy evening pt 2

Side note: so imagine we already had dinner and we just start exploring Mykonos and we come across a live band playing outside and Jamie sees people dancing and then asks you to dance:) and you ofc agree and you just have the most intimate slow dance 🥺 and you just stare into his eyes and then tuck your face into his neck. Kirby also sees and asks kesh to dance and they are just admiring each other. And then Quinner sees me pouting and crying over you two and asks me to dance as well and we also slow dance. The rest of boys also find some ladies to dance with.

Next day: we decide to explore Mykonos like going to see the ruins and historical sights. So we all set off in the morning. Since Greece has a lot of alleys and stairs everyone some of us ( me and Ryan I fall down the stairs sm ) accidentally fall down the stairs ‘oh for fucks sake why do I always have to fall’ ‘what about me Lexi?’ ‘ you’re a hockey player you fall all the time anyway’ so we just bicker and you guys laugh and Quinner helps me up. ‘Hey Brigid we heard you and Jamie last night’ ‘shut up Cole we saw that girl sneak out of your room lol’ so everyone is just chirping each other the entire time. We get to the historic sights and we are all in awe and take a bunch of photos. Then we go get lunch and just chill. After that we all return to the hotel in the evening and we all get dinner. All in all I am loving this trip. It’s just so great.

Also I realized that pro tennis players go there during off season and so if I see one of them I will totally ask for a photo and go play tennis with them one afternoon. ‘Omg guys Serena William is hereeee’ and I just run off lol.

- another part might be happening but I might start with our Europe tripppppppp.

Ly thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy 🥺.

omgggg all of this is fucking amazing!! i love all of it, and ofc you guys lexi and kesh💕 anyways longggg post ahead

ok so first some random thoughts

ok so first of all new chains for the boyssss. quinner needs to start wearing one for lexi asap, and kesh and i are getting new ones for kirby and jamie. tbh they’re just as much gifts for us as for them lol

omg yessss i want a bb jamie. and his freckles 🥺🥺 i’m sorry this child is going to be so pale tho

hehe all of us out here stealing beanies. jamie’s beanie just looks so soft and i want to wear and then i can play with his hair better when he’s not wearing it too lol. and ofc lexi gets credit for starting this trend with quinner 

ok moving on to the flight lol

pleaseee i just want to trace jamie’s freckles and play with his hair while he sleeps. and us only being able to sleep with each other 🥰🥺 hehe please someone take pics for us

lmaooo yes lexi is busy GETTING COFFEE with quinner. and no need to bring jamie and i into this lexi, please and thank you

hehe cozzy making jamie give him $50 to switch seats so he can buy food on the flight. it’s ok cozzy isn’t really mad bc he can sleep better by devon anyways, he doesn’t have to deal with dyl and i’s crazy shit. lmaooo love kesh and kirby ignoring us

lol you’re welcome dyl for keeping you comfy, you better be getting me food to pay me back later. and then me and jamie just being soft 🥺🥺 tracing freckles and playing with each others hair. awww just peppering each others faces with kisses and then it somehow turns into a makeout. good thing dyl is asleep so he doesn’t slap one of us lmao. omg yessss jamie holding my hand or putting a hand on my leg so i’ll stop fidgeting the whole time so bo can sleep lol

awww yes kesh and kirby are adorable together, we love that for them. haha honestly same, i can see why they don’t wanna sit by us

 hehe quinner just has insanely high coffee tolerance, so he’s passed out on the plane lmao. but that gives lexi the perfect opportunity to play with his hair and rope bracelet. hehe he might pretend to still be asleep for a while after he wakes up bc it feels good. and then once he wakes up he kisses your freckles and he just puts a hand on your leg so you’ll stop kicking my chair (ty quinner)

lmaoooo i want to see you slapping ryan awake. and then us looking cute with our curly/wavy hair and our clear skin

ok so first day in greece

all of us get to share rooms with our bbs:) also i said we would try to keep quiet, i don’t know what more you want from jamie and i. i don’t think you and quinner are exactly silent either at night lmao. omg yesss running into each other’s rooms playing hotel tag! hehe i advise if you see a singular piece of clothing on our floor then you leave, bc i keep my room freakishly neat. but anywayssss i would dominate hotel tag, i love that game and i have a lot of practice lol

omg yes slumber party!! we can watch movies and stuff together and make the guys do face masks lmao. ‘why is it green’ ‘wait mine’s grey’ ‘i don’t want this shit on my skin’ ‘guys just put them on, it’ll be good for you’ omg yessss when we take them off they’re just glowing, love that for them

hehe all of us girls going shopping together to get cute new clothes bc guess what? we have moneyyyyy. and all the guys are just like where did they go

hehe yes jamie carrying me and then quinner and lexi pushing each other in behind us lol. but then ofc jamie and i join bc we’re (read: i’m) overly competitive. and kesh and kirby just chilling on the beach lol. and then i loveeee moments in the water, just like the slicked back hair and wrapping legs around waists and definitely maybe kissing

hehe yes lexi and i are the dream team. ryan i will beat you tf up if i have to lol. awww and cute moments on the beach at night 🥰

next dayyyy

hehe late breakfast bc we had eventful nights and don’t wanna get up early. and then i’m eating sm at the buffet lol and the guys are just like how? bc i’m just a very hungry person in general lol

hehe ok cliff diving: obvi me and dyl first bc we’re the daredevils, but i also pull jamie with us bc i don’t want to leave my bb behind. and then you and ryan hype each other up and you guys come next but then you pull quinner with you too, bc you don’t want to leave him behind. hehe i’m not being marco the whole time sorry, whoever gets tagged becomes marco. hehe and then once we’re ready to get out we blame kesh and kirby that we don’t know how lol ‘wow thanks mom and dad, how helpful’ jk we still love you kesh!! honestly i’m down to either, stay with the guys in the water or climb up, i did do rock climbing for a couple years tho so idk if that makes a difference. but then also they probably need help swimming and you want to bond with dyl, so honestly up to you:) 

snorkeling and scuba diving - all of us holding hands with our bfs and swimming with them🥺 hehe yes little brigid was really just living a wild life lol. anywaysss then we’re back on the catamaran and dyl’s just playing music and then we give lexi a turn and she’s surprisingly good for having not played in so long. and then singing mama mia is so fun! and just hanging out on the boat in general and having fun and cuddling with our boys. and then ofc we have to use aloe vera lol

hehe yess i have aux on the boat, but at some point i just ask jamie to go change the song and he knows my password, but i forgot he doesn’t know i changed my wallpaper. so then he’s sees the pic of us cuddling together in the airport and he’s just like ‘i’m your wallpaper’ and i just blush and go ‘well, yeah’ and he just comes over and hugs me and gives me a kiss. so then everyone’s comparing wallpapers lol, and so quinner and kirby are vv happy when they see lexi and kesh’s

yesss all of us looking cute and exploring mykonos nightlife. haha everyone’s at least a little tipsy bc it’s super easy to get drinks there. hehe all of us super loud and laughing and stuff, love that. and then moonlight kisses🥰 

awww yes, we’re exploring and we see a live band so jamie asks me to dance. and i blush but ofc i say yes, so we’re just having the softest most intimate slow dance🥺 staring into each other’s eyes at first, but then i tuck my face into his chest bc i get nervous with eye contact. and then ofc kirby has to ask kesh bc they’re #couplegoals and they’re just admiring each other while they dance. and quinner isn’t the best with social cues so he doesn’t pick up on it right away, but then he sees you’re sad and asks you to dance with him and then you two are adorable together. and the other guys ask some girls to dance, and guess who ends up coming back to the hotel with us that night lmao

next dayyyyy

oooh yes going to see the greek ruins, and there are a tonnn of alleys and stairs and stuff. so ofc you and ryan fall down them (and i by some miracle don’t). hehe you: ‘why tf am i always falling?’ him: ‘what about me tho lexi?’ you: ‘you’re a hockey player, it’s kind of in your job description’ and you guys keep fighting lmao, but ofc quinner helps you up 😍

and the chirpssss that would be going on all day lmaoooo ‘hey brigid, we heard you and jamie last night’ ‘oh fuck off, i saw a different girl come out of your room this morning cole. what are you doing, trying to go through every girl in mykonos by the time we leave?’

and then ofc sightseeing and taking lots of insta photos, and then we all go to get lunch together. imagine the people who have to serve our table, i feel sorry for them lol. and then we could just go back to the beach or smtg before dinner and then back to the hotel 😏

final thoughts

at some point lexi sees a really good tennis player and goes to get her picture taken and see if she can practice with them, and kesh and i being the good friends that we are chase after her to take the pictures lol. hehe and then lexi abandons us to go play tennis with them for the afternoon

ugggh this was amazing and i love it, i’m excited for another part of europe, i’m down with either bc both would be amazing

ly too 🥰 it was amazing, i was so happy to read it

[raysofcrosby]

LITTLE DO YOU KNOW PT. 7

"𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦–– 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘦'𝘥 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘰 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵." – 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐨𝐧, 𝐀𝐦𝐲 & 𝐑𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐜 𝐃𝐞𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐫

gif credit (x)

series masterlist

requested: yes | no

warnings: slight *unprotected* smut, implied sexual situations, otherwise its just fluffy convo.

word count: 10,282 [it’s a fucking novel ladies and gents, better buckle up]

authors note: FIRST AND FOREMOST, i’m going to apologize for the horribly written smut. i never write smut bc 1) i suck at it and 2) it makes me feel awkward lmao [sidenote: safe sex is great sex!!!].  also, if a boy did for me what tyler did for baby benn in this– then homeboy could like...get it. ALSO this ending wasn’t supposed to be the original ending, but i feel like it adds a little more oomph when it comes to small things involving the storyline– so i hope it doesn’t flop. i hope you guys’ enjoy! i love reading your comments, seeing your tags in the reblogs and just seeing that you guys’ enjoy this story as much as i enjoy writing it! without further ado, here’s part 7!

Your weekend with Tyler was exactly what you needed as a break away from school and of course, the biggest blessing Dallas was about to receive– the rest of the Benn's. Jordie was in town with the Canucks and your parents, Jenn, your brother-in-law, and your niece were all flying down to not only have a small visit with you before you traveled home for Christmas but to also see the two boys play against each other. Sure, they were able to see Jamie and Jordie play against each other only a few days ago when the Stars stopped in Vancouver, but there was one thing that the game didn't have– you. And you were never one to toot your own horn when it came to your siblings, but you were the favorite– second to Jenny at times. She was the firstborn and she had blessed your parents with a grandchild way before the rest of you. But you were the baby, and that was always a prize.

The rest of your family all got into Dallas around the same time, but since you had class and Jamie and Jordie had workouts, you guys didn't plan to get together until lunch, which unfortunately for Jamie, cut into his pre-game nap– but at least he'd get a free meal out of it, thanks to your parents. Until then though, you were suffering in your classes, too busy thinking about this past weekend and telling Kennedy everything you'd learned from Brandon about this Maisy girl. Kennedy didn't know who she was, and being the best friend ever, kept you out of your own worst thoughts by assuring you that if the relationship was as serious as Brandon said it was– Tyler wouldn't have played it off as nothing.

And that kept the bad thoughts out of your head for most of the day, until it came time to pick Jamie up at his place. The conversation in the car between your parents, you and Kennedy also kept you distracted– it was easy to talk about how school was going and how her family was doing, but when they mentioned your internship, it was hard not to immediately think about Tyler. Thankfully, by the time that came around, you guys were pulling up to Jamie's. Before your dad could even put the rental into park, you offered to run up and grab Jamie, that way they didn't have to get out of the car. You ran up the front steps and rang the doorbell an obnoxious amount of times and when the door opened, you were pleased to see Jenn standing there with a smile on her face.

"You know, there's a child sleeping in here," she joked, wrapping you in in a hug.

"Sleep is for the weak, Jenn. Kennedy is in the car with mom and dad, just send her to the back of the SUV so you guys can make room for the car seat."

"That's okay, Y/N. I managed to snag a sick rental," Andrew, your brother-in-law smiled, walking past with the car seat in his hands and giving you a one-armed hug.

"And by sick, he means a red 4runner," Jenn rolled her eyes as Andrew carried the car seat to their rental in the driveway. "He really just left without letting you see her, didn't he?"

"I'll see my favorite niece at lunch, that's fine," you laughed, watching as she put her purse on her shoulder. "Is he inside?"

"Jamie? Oh yeah, he's almost ready. We'll go ahead and follow you guys to the restaurant."

You nodded and walked inside as she walked out to their rental, closing the door behind her. "JAMIE EVERYONE'S READY BUT YOU!" You yelled out, unsure just where he was in his house.

"Jesus Christ, Y/N. You don't need to blow a guy's eardrum out like that," he groaned, walking from around the corner. "I just need to finish my hair and then grab water and I'm ready to head out."

"J...why are you even bothering to do your hair when you'll mess it up during your nap?"

He stopped in his tracks as if the thought never even crossed his mind. "Well, fine. But let me grab a hat at least so I don't have to brush it."

You sighed and leaned against the stairway, looking around his house aimlessly. When your eyes landed on an old picture of him and Tyler with Dude Perfect, a thought entered your mind. "Hey J? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, why not?"

You bit the inside of your cheek, wondering whether or not you should ask. Would it make Jamie suspicious to...whatever the hell you and Tyler had? Would he tease you for even wanting to know? "Do you know who Maisy is?"

"Huh?"

"Maisy! Do you–" You started to yell, only to see him come back down the hallway with a hat in his hands. "Do you know who Maisy is?"

He didn't even bother to stop this time, only walking away and into his kitchen. "Like, Tyler's Maisy?"

Your stomach dropped then and there straight into the bottom of your shoes. 'Tyler's Maisy.' You weren't sure if it was the nonchalant way that he said it or the fact that he just confirmed that Brandon wasn't lying that made you feel so uneasy– but either way...you were.

"Yeah, where they like...a thing?"

He came out of the kitchen holding onto two water bottles and tossing you one. A genuine look of concern on his face sent your heartbeat into overdrive as you tried to keep your expression as neutral as possible. "I mean, yeah. I don't know if they were ever really official, but she was his man hookup all last season."

He walked away again, this time coming back and shoving his wallet into his short pockets. "She also kind of played a roll in why he had to pick his new house so fast. Granted he already had two settled, but I guess she accidentally leaked his address on Instagram or snapchat or something after order postmates." He opened the front door, grabbing his house keys off of the hanger. "Also, there was this huge spamming thing from random accounts on twitter, some sports forum and other crap saying he needed to go public with her. They'd even comment on Candace and Cassidy's stuff."

As you followed him out of the door, it all started to make sense as to why Tyler didn't want you to ever post that you were at his house– it wasn't fully out of fear that Jamie would know you were there...but because he was scared that maybe you'd leak his address. And while that revelation made you feel a little more at ease, you couldn't help but acknowledge the hint of sadness when you connected Brandon's comments about Tyler not letting Maisy post stuff, to what Jamie just confirmed.

"I think he broke it off in the summer though, why?"

You shook yourself out of your thoughts and walked ahead of him. "Oh nothing, I just heard some frat guys talking about her when I dropped Cole's stuff off."

"Yeah, well I wasn't the only one who warned Seggy about getting involved with a college girl. I mean, I got lucky with Katie, but there's also a three year age difference between us." You were shocked at Jamie's reply as he walked ahead of you this time. "Tyler's going for girls now where the age difference is like six to seven years– I mean, maybe mentally he's right for them, but it's just...I don't know it never works out and we keep trying to tell him that, but you know how he is."

You just smiled and nodded as he opened the car door for you and you saw Kennedy climb into the next row of seats. You followed suit, saving a seat for when you went to pick up Jordie and ultimately ending your conversation there. The conversation picked up between everyone in the car as you made your way to your lunch destination, but you were lost in your little world, resting on the things both Brandon and Jamie have said...plus the fact that Tyler would be joining you guys for the post-game dinner in just a few hours.

How bad could it all go?

❒❒❒❒

Dinner was going to be a fun time and it would only be because you were going to be witness to Jamie rubbing it into Jordie's face that they beat them twice in less than a week. Little brother beating big brother– the theme to their entire childhood, was enough to entertain your dinner for 11. They spent a good five minutes arguing about who would cover the check, Jamie or Jordie and for a hot second, they both agreed that you would cover it– but a quick reminder that you were a college senior with no job and an unpaid internship, shut them down real quick. Otherwise, dinner was fun and heartwarming.

Your parents had invited Big Rig and Tyler along– Big Rig once they learned that he and Kennedy were an item, and Tyler because he was like another son to them, and Jamie's best friend. Luckily for you, the way everyone ended up being seated around the table, you had Kennedy and Big Rig to your right, and Tyler to your left, before it moved on to Jenn at the end of the table with your niece. The conversations were flowing all across the table and seemingly never-ending, everyone around the table, at least once, having the conversation focused on them. With Big Rig, it was his sister and if he liked being back in Dallas versus being in Pittsburgh. 

With Kennedy, it was how her family's work is going and whether she was ready to deal with the Canadian cold come Christmas. Jamie and Jordie were tied together, the same with Tyler when they weren't asking about how his family was doing. With you, it was school and how your internship with the team was going–  and God the conversation seemed never-ending. But you weren't sure if it was because you hated being the topic of everyone at dinner or if it was Tyler's hand resting on your thigh.

The entire night, beneath the table Tyler had been touching you. At first, it was knocking his knee against your own now and then before full on pressing his leg against yours. Then it escalated to him touching your leg and eventually keeping a hold on your leg throughout dinner. Acts that seemingly everyone around the table was oblivious to. And during dinner, the two of you kept up your chirping at one another like it was another day in the locker room, though there were few moments that slipped through, where it was like you were the only two in the room. A time, that once or twice, Kennedy had to nudge you with her knee to warn you that your flirtationship with Tyler was starting to make its presence known in front of your family. You would then nudge Tyler with your leg, signaling for him that the two of you needed to cool it down a little, but then you'd place a hand on his thigh, letting him know that a little touch was still okay. While keeping it on the low was a high priority, you couldn't help but feel reassured about Tyler's feelings towards you with those small touches– for they cast away any doubts you'd been thinking only hours before.

Everything was fine until you got up to go to the bathroom just before Jordie handed off his card to pay the bill, at least you thought it was. Because the moment you walked out of the bathroom, Jordie was leaning against the awning for the bathroom hallway, waiting for you. "Creeper isn't a good look, Jordie." You joked, brushing by him as you continued to shake your hands dry of the water that the air dryer didn't get.

"Is there something going on with you and Seggy?"

The question stopped you in your tracks, both because you had feared that maybe he had picked up on something during dinner and because he had asked so blatantly that you were scared someone else would hear. "What?" You asked, turning around.

He moved off of the wall, still crossing his arms and walked up to you. He looked around before looking back at you again. "Is there something going on with you and Seggy?"

"What?" This time, the question didn't come from you, but from Jamie who had just walked towards the bathroom awning. "No way, that's ridiculous!"

You looked between the two Benn brothers, Jamie looking at Jordie as if he was insulted that Jordie even suggested it, and Jordie giving you his 'I'm your big brother, I'm not as oblivious as this idiot so I already know the answer' look. "What are you three talking about?"

We looked to see our Mom coming around the corner with everyone else slowly trickling behind. "Jordie seems to think that Y/N and Tyler have something going on, which is stupid and he's probably just still bitter that he lost."

Your mom just looks between the three of you with raised eyebrows before nodding her head. As if he had perfect timing, Tyler came strolling around the corner and plopped two hands on Jamie's shoulders. "I'm going pee and then I'm headed home, the dogs need to be fed and let out."

You sent up a silent prayer to the Universe at the fact Tyler hadn't offered to drive you back to your dorm, especially after Jordie had seemingly connected the dots. "I'm going to catch wait by Big Rig's car, he's taking Kennedy home...so I'm catching a ride." You smiled, before removing yourself from the situation and walking out into the crisp, night air. 

It felt too stuffy in that restaurant all of a sudden and for the first time all night, you were grateful that your parents were staying with Jamie at his place instead of a hotel. That way, they had no choice but to take him straight home before they called it a night. They weren't obligated to drive you back to your dorm and both the Stars and your family were heading out of Dallas the next day.

"Hi, Sweetie." You turned around to see your mom making her way over to Big Rig's vehicle, pulling her cardigan across her chest. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," you huffed, nodding towards the restaurant. "It was just a little hot in there."

She nodded, seemingly accepting your pathetic excuse. She barely let the silence settle between you before she spoke again. "You know I love you and that no matter what it is, you don't have to keep secrets from me...right?"

You tried not to let your face give it away, that you knew where she was going with her conversation. "Y-Yeah, I do..."

She took a deep breath before turning to look back at the restaurant, making sure the coast was clear. "Is Jordie right? About you and Tyler? Is there...something going on between you?"

When Jordie had asked, you were fearful– scared that he would judge you on being with Tyler, your brother's best friend, hell...a close family friend in general. That if he knew, all of a sudden he'd see you as just another one of Tyler's playthings and not Y/N...his younger sister. But when your mom asked, it was like the pressure of hiding it, mixed with a huge swell of emotions just washed completely over you, drowning you if it could, and you started to cry. 

"Y-Yes..." You let out a small gasp as you went to speak immediately after your confession, "but please don't be mad at me mom– please don't–"

She took you into her arms and hugged you tightly, a hand resting at the back of your head and shooshing you to calm you down. You closed your eyes, taking in her embrace as you felt your shoulders feel a little lighter at the confession. When you pulled away, she held onto both of your hands before smiling at you. "So you and Tyler, you're...dating?"

"Yes...No..." You sighed, wiping your cheeks and shaking your head.  "I don't know."

Your mom laughed, which was a reaction that you didn't expect from her. "I'll never understand this generation and your definition of relationships. Just tell me one thing...do you like him?"

You looked down at the ground, thinking about the last few days that you'd spent with Tyler and smiling at the way he made you feel and the funny moments in between. "I do...a lot. We have fun together, you know? It's just...it's easy."

"And I assume that Jamie doesn't know?"

You looked away from her again, nodding your head in shame. "We haven't told him yet...I'm just, scared of what he'll think."

"He's your brother, Y/N. I'm sure he'll think no less of you because of who you're dating." She sighed, squeezing your hand and gaining your attention. "And Tyler, well he is quite the step up from Cole."

"Yeah," you laughed, smiling at her. "He really is." As your eyes skimmed her face, your heart and brain prepared you for the 'but' that you knew was coming.

"Tyler's just..." Your mom shook her head, sighing again. "He's a little too old for you, don't you think?" She must have seen the look on your face when those words left her mouth because she held onto your arms and looked worried.

"I'm only saying that because well, the two of you are in very different stages of your lives. He's almost 28 and he's been in the adult world long enough to find out who he is and what he wants for his life. And you...you're barely 22, about to graduate college and experience the real adult world for the first time. You still need to find out who you are and what you want."

You understood what she meant and took her fear into account because if you were being honest...she had a point. Besides the summertime, you were in school for 9 months out of the year, living to a strict class schedule and figuring out your day to day routine without the fear of bills lingering over your head. You've had your little taste of the adult world, but come May you were about to get smacked in the face with reality...whereas Tyler's already figured out his life.

"Just...be careful, okay? You can have your time and relationship with Tyler, but don't lose yourself in this."

"Thanks, Mom, I love you." You whispered, hugging her close and wishing with everything that she didn't have to go back home tomorrow.

"I love you too sweetie." She pulled away and cupped your face, kissing your forehead. "Now promise me that you won't hide this from your brother forever, okay? It'd be a lot worse for him to find out from someone else rather than hear it straight from the both of you."

You only nodded in reply as the rest of your dinner group walked up, saying their goodbyes before separating to their cars. You lingered your goodbyes with Jenn and Jordie, telling them that you'd see them come Christmas time before hopping in the back of Big Rig's car and burying yourself out of sight. The entire ride back to the dorm, you were playing countless scenarios of how you'd tell Jamie about you and Tyler, hoping that there'd be the magic one that would solve every worry you had.

Only they all ended horribly wrong.

To make matters a little more stressful, when you got to your room, Kennedy had asked if she and Big Rig could have some private time alone. You agreed because at least one of you was going to get laid after that stressful dinner. So you did what you always did, packed an overnight bag and sent Tyler a text, wondering if he'd mind some company.

Of course, be there soon! 😁 All of your boys miss you (me included if you weren't aware)

Oh also, pack a bathing suit 😏

You quickly shoved your hottest bikini into your overnight bag and wished the two lovers goodnight, not failing to remind them to stay safe because you were too young to become an aunt again. They laughed you out of your dorm room and you raced down the stairs and out towards the parking lot where you knew Tyler would be waiting.

When his headlights shined on you, you felt a little burst of happiness rush through your veins as you climbed up into his jeep and immediately greeted him with a kiss before he could even say a word. "Wow, not that I'm complaining but...what was that for?" He laughed, waiting for you to put your seatbelt on before driving away.

"For saving me from having to wait hours before I could sleep in my sinful dorm room."

He threw his head back and laughed. "Wow, sinful dorm room? Is it that bad?"

"Tyler...we barely got two steps into the room before she straight up said 'I need to get laid, can I have the room?'" You joined in with his contagious laughter. "They're lucky I love them so much."

"Well, I for one am grateful for their horny actions," he reached and grabbed your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours and bringing your hands up to his mouth, kissing the back of yours. "Because now I get to spend the night with you and show you my surprise."

"Does it have anything to do with me needing to pack a bathing suit?"

He wiggled his eyebrows and kissed your hand again. "It has everything to do with a bathing suit. Speaking of," he let your hands rest on the center console. "Did you pack the...what did Kennedy call it? The raunchy red bikini?"

"Shut up, that was so embarrassing!" You leaned over and smacked his shoulder with your free hand as you felt your cheeks warm up. "And for your information...yes, yes I did. But if you keep teasing me, you won't get to see it."

Tyler coughed, this time trying his best to hide the fact that he was getting a little bashful. "There are two ways I could take that statement...and I'm not sure which one you meant."

God the two of you were practically downing in the awkward, sexual tension that surrounded you. You knew which two ways he was speaking of, too– either you don't do whatever activity involved your bathing suit, or you go full-on nude during whatever activity. And in all honesty, the thought of being naked with Tyler has been lingering in the back of your mind since the weekend when Kennedy asked if the two of you had had sex yet. 

Plus, let's be honest...you've seen his ESPN body issue shoot...and seeing him naked wasn't the worst thing in the world.

When you guys got to his house, you greeted the dogs before he could manage to usher them all away from you. He handed you your bag and kissed your cheek before nodding at you to go upstairs. "Go ahead and drop your stuff off and get dressed, then meet me outside."

The chill he sent down your spine lasted well into your trip up the stairs and into his bedroom. You could only wonder what he had planned but made sure to keep your imagination tamed as you stripped off in his bedroom and put on your bathing suit. Which, until Kennedy said so, you didn't perceive as all that raunchy. It was your favorite, simply because its fabric hugged you in all the right places– making you feel like you could take on the world...if you were going to take on the world half-naked. When you left his room and walked back down the stairs and outside, the cool night air greeted you and the light wind blew some of your hair into your face. When you looked out for Tyler, you heard mumblings of music and saw lights stationed around the jacuzzi.

Holy shit, he put fucking candles around his jacuzzi and had music playing nearby? Cheesy? Everyone else would think so. But the fact that you had just broken up with a boyfriend who never really did anything like this for you...it was cute and romantic. It got better when you walked closer to the jacuzzi to see that the little candles were electronic and you couldn't help but laugh.

"I know, I know, it looks stupid, but the wind and fire hazard," Tyler said, keeping his back to you, across the way in the jacuzzi as he adjusted the volume on the Bluetooth speaker– before turning your way and smiling. "But its the thought that counts, right?"

"Tyler, what is this?" You laughed, sliding off your shoes at the edge before stepping in.

He walked across and reached out his hand, holding onto yours and making sure you didn't fall in. "You've been studying like crazy lately, plus dealing with us needy assholes almost every day...so I decided that you need to relax."

You had to admit, the moment that your body was engulfed by the hot water and jets– you were relaxed. It felt like if Tyler wasn't holding on to your hand, you'd probably slipped under and let the water swallow you up. You never realized just how tired your body was. You sat across from him, extending your legs out and letting them float as you closed your eyes and felt the jets against your back. "Is this what you do after every game? Come here and forget your troubles?"

"Usually," he laughed, moving his arms in the water. "Though sometimes I'll take an icebath upstairs or when you're here, I just kind of chill out. It all depends on how much energy I have left."

You sighed, letting the feeling of the water take over your mind as you laid there listening to what seemed like a top 50 hits playlist. "I wish I had one of these in my dorm room. God, I think I'd go from the library to my bathroom and never leave. Studying is stupid, don't ever do it. It's hard to believe finals are only–"

"Ah, ah, ah!" He said, interrupting you and reaching out for your leg, tugging you out of your relaxed state. "No school talk. This is why we got into the jacuzzi, now come here."

You sat up and walked over to where he was. He grabbed onto your shoulders, turned you around and placed you in front of him in the space between his legs. "Loosen up and relax, Y/N. I'm not going to drown you."

You took a deep breath and sighed, closing your eyes and anticipating what he was going to do. When you felt his calloused hands on your shoulders, you stayed relaxed. Only when he started to add pressure with his thumbs did you realize what he was doing. "Okay wow, did you go to massage school or something?"

He laughed, moving towards the center of your neck. "No, but I've had enough done that I remember a few things."

You felt his breath along the back of your neck as he continued to apply pressure with his hands and dig into your shoulders with his thumbs. It felt good, really good and you had to bit down on your lip to prevent a moan from coming out of your mouth. It was one thing that Tyler was giving you a candlelit massage in his jacuzzi, but it was another thing for you to moan out just how good he was doing. Your mind wandered down the road of no return as his hands kept doing the Lord's work. You couldn't help but wonder how his hands would feel if they were touching and massaging other parts of you and how bad you wished that they would just linger a little bit lower than their current  location.

"See, now isn't this better than talking about school?"

You were too lost in your daydream until you heard the moan you'd been holding back, escape from the back of your throat. You felt embarrassed because the moment you let it happen, Tyler had paused his hand movements for only a second, before picking them back up. You sat there, biting the inside of your cheek and focusing on how fast your heart was racing against your chest.

Should you do it?

What would he do if you did?

"Fuck it," you whispered, stepping out from under Tyler's hands and turning to face him.

"What?" He laughed, "Did I suck that bad?"

You didn't say anything as you moved closer to him and crawled onto his lap. You felt his quads tighten and watched as his eyes went wide, almost as if he was too afraid to move because he was too focused on what you were doing. You were nervous as hell, never really one to make big moves like this, but you were tired of just dancing in circles with Tyler and more than anything, you were hoping that taking the leap on this one...wouldn't bite you in the ass.

You wrapped your arms around his neck before leaning in and pressing your lips solidly against his. It was like the first time he kissed you, nothing crazy, just a kiss. And when he didn't kiss you back, you felt yourself begin to get swallowed up by a hole on embarrassment. No sooner than you went to pull away, Tyler grabbed your lower back and pulled you further onto his lap, groaning quietly before kissing you again. This time his mouth moved with your own, setting the pace that you were more than pleased to follow. You were the first to tease, dragging your tongue slowly across his bottom lip before he took it up a level and teased your tongue with his own. Your fingers looped around the back of his head, tangling themselves in his curls, just as he brought one of his hands down to your hip and tugs you against him once more.

Goosebumps erupted over your entire body the moment his hands started to wander across your skin. One stayed beneath the water, constantly guiding you across his lap as the other wandered across your belly before landing on the side of one of your breasts, his thumb rubbing over the front of your top. It was like he had well-timed the entire ordeal, because the moment you moaned at the sensation coming from beneath your top, Tyler stuck his tongue back into your mouth before biting down softly on your bottom lip. When you went to kiss him again, you untangled your fingers from his curls and untying the back of your bathing suit, taking the material and blindly tossing it aside before pressing your bare chest against Tyler and kissing him harder.

You were desperate to get him to understand just how badly you wanted him and when you could feel all of him brushing against your inner thigh, you sped up your movements, rolling your hips against him as he held onto your hips tightly. "Oh Fuck Y/N," he groaned, letting his head fall away from you.

You took the opportunity to reach your hands down into the water and grab onto his swim trunks, searching for the tied strings. You started to feel embarrassed at how you couldn't find them until you felt Tyler stir and you looked up to see him staring blatantly at your chest– reaching for a breast and cupping it. "You weren't wrong," he looked up at you with his childlike smile cupping the other breast and massaging them both. "Your boobs are pretty great."

You laughed before leaning in and kissing him, running your hands down his stomach and coming to a stop, once again at the waistband on his swim trunks. "No strings, you just tug em," he pulled back and reached his hands beneath the water, shifting as you felt the fabric of his swim trunks brush against your bottom. "It's easy science."

You rolled your eyes as he brought you back into his chest and you let your hands continue their journey down his body. To your, happy, surprise, the waistband of his swim trunks was no longer blocking your way. He kissed down your neck as you felt his hands wander down to your bottoms, twirling with the strings on either side of your hips. "Yes," you breathed out before he could even ask the question, even nodding your head in case he wouldn't get the signal.

His tugs on the strings of your bottoms were in synch and you felt him pull the fabric away from your body, leaving you vulnerable and naked beneath the water and on his lap. His hands traveled down to your butt as he tugged you closer against him, to the point where you could feel his cock resting between the both of you.

As he continued his assault on your neck, one bite caused you to moan loudly and he pulled away with wide eyes and a smile. "Not going to lie, that was kind of hot, and I’m definitely a big fan of the red raunchy bikini..."

You smiled, before the reality of your situation set in and you looked down at the water. The adrenaline was running through your veins, making you feel on top of the world– this was it. You and Tyler were going to finally have sex.

"I-I've never done this before," you blurted out, swallowing the small nervous knot in your throat.

Tyler stopped kissing down your chest and pulled back, looking at you. The look on his face could only be described as one that was worrisome as his hands cradled your lower back. "I thought...I mean...you and Cole never..."

"Oh no! No, no, no, we did!" Only then did you realize what your statement had made him think and you wanted to do nothing more than drown yourself in the jacuzzi. "That ship sailed a long time ago, like a lonnnng time ago. Junior winter formal, Jack Makenzie at Jamie's cabin– post formal party. Though, don't tell him that because I kind of lied and said it would be only girls, but it was actually–"

Tyler leaned forward and kissed you softly, a hand coming up to the left side of your face and cradling it. When he pulled away, his thumb was rubbing along your cheekbone. "Relax, Y/N, it's just me. If you don't want to do this, we don't have to. We can cuddle in bed and fall asleep."

"No, I want to do this, I want this..." You leaned into his touch, closing your eyes only for a moment before looking back at him. "I want you, I just...I've never done it in a hot tub before so..."

Tyler tried so hard to hide his dire want to laugh, but as always, he failed and burst out into laughter. He kissed you once, twice and pressed his head against yours. "You're such a dork, you know that? And I love that about you."

Your heart fluttered when he said it, and while you know that he probably didn't mean the big L...it still felt the same. You pressed yourself against him and kissed him until you were out of breath. When you pulled away, you kept your forehead pressed against his as the both of you tried to catch your breath.

It should be noted that hooking up in a jacuzzi, will leave you just as breathless as the hooking up itself– and you were going to be sure to mention that to Kennedy as a lesson learned.

Tyler's hands traveled up your sides, resting on your ribs before you looked at him. His eyes were staring into yours as if he was trying to find any hint of regret– that you weren't choosing to do this because it was a spur of the moment thing. You nodded before breathing out a breathless 'yes' and his hands traveled back down to your waist and beneath the water.

You were waiting for the touch of his you'd been longing for and when it'd yet to come you looked at him to see he has a sheepish smile on his face. "Do you want to uh..." his eyes traveled to the water, "I just don't want to um...I want it to be comfortable for you and you can set it at your own pace and–"

This time, you cut him off with a kiss before laughing and nodding your head. You took a short, but deep breath as a way to calm yourself before dipping your hand beneath the water and finding Tyler's wrist. You followed it to his hand, lingering your touch against his fingers before grasping his cock in your hand. He coughed to cover up his groan at your added touch but kept his eyes on you as you positioned yourself over him.

The both of you took sharp inhales of breath as you suck down onto him, one hand grasping onto his chest as you felt your head fall back slightly in relief. You took your time, taking him in and admiring the slight burn of him stretching you out. You needed to go slow, it's been months since you've had sex and Tyler was considerably thicker and longer than Cole.

"Y/N..." He whispered, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear and kissing your neck. "You need to breathe, babe."

"Sorry, it's just...it's been a while and you're so..." His hips tugged you down softly the last few inches and you moaned, falling into his chest. "Oh fuck."

You stayed pressed against his chest, focusing on breathing as he told you too– all in the while, he was stilled within you, rubbing your sides and switching between kissing your neck and your shoulder blades. As soon as he turned his face into the crook of your neck, you relaxed and pulled back nodding your head. "You ready? Can I move?"

"Yeah," you leaned in and kissed him hard, a clash of teeth and lips before moving to his neck and nipping just below his jaw. "Go ahead."

He thrust his hips up, pushing himself further into you and hitting a spot that made your legs feel like jello. When you felt him smirk against your neck, you laughed to yourself and knew that it was game on. You weren't one to toot your own horn, but little did Tyler know, this position was your expertise. You always had Cole melted like putty in your hands whenever you topped him and unfortunately...or fortunately for Tyler, he was about to find out.

You raised your hips and circled them before sinking back down again, grinding down onto him hard. "Oh fuck that..." his head fell back as his grip on your waist loosened, giving you more control. "That feels so fucking good."

You grinned to yourself as you placed your hands on his shoulders, pushing him against the wall of the jacuzzi, earning wide eyes and a smirk from Tyler. "Oh, shit Y/N...are you trying to dominate me?"

Your only reply was a flirty grin and your hips grinding down against him harder before clenching down onto him, causing him to choke on the breath he'd been holding. As you quicken your pace, Tyler started to meet you halfway but keeping his focus on his hands massaging your breasts.

"Tyler...fuck." You moaned, pressing your face into the crook of his neck and focusing on how good he was making you feel...until a jingling sound tore you away. "Did you hear that?"

"Huh? What?" He mumbled, thrusting his hips up again, completely enamored in you to even pay attention.

You heard more jingling, this time your eyes focusing on the house. You grabbed Tyler's face and turned his head towards the backdoor. "It's coming from over there...wait..is that?"

"Oh no, you've got to be kidding me," He groaned, stilling inside you and bringing you closer to his chest as the two of you watched the three figures get closer. "No! Go, bad boys!"

The three furry Seguins came running up to the two of you, tails wagging and tongues out. Gerry attacked Tyler's face with kisses as Cash and Marshall tried their best to get to you. Tyler wrapped one arm around your waist, pulling you into him as he shooed the dogs away with the other. "Go away, you're ruining it!"

You laughed, pulling your face out of his chest before patting it. "I don't think they're going away any time soon."

He looked at you, pouting before groaning. "I just got cockblocked by my own dogs, man's best friend my ass."

"Who said we were done?" You replied, climbing off of his lap.

He raised his eyebrows and let his eyes linger on you before he tugged up his swim trunks and climbed out of the jacuzzi. He picked up a towel and unfolded it, holding it up for you.

You stepped out of the jacuzzi, easily feeling his gaze linger on you before stepping towards the towel and letting him wrap you up in it.

He picked up his towel, wrapping it around his waist and touching your elbow. "Meet me in our room while I go deal with these," he turned his attention towards the dogs, who were all sitting down and staring at you both with big smiles. "Very bad boys."

You watched as he walked the dogs back into the house and took that time to not only collect your bathing suit but to turn off all of the lights and grab the Bluetooth speaker. As you made your way into the house, you couldn't wrap your mind about what just happened. Every time you tried to, the result was always the same:

Holy shit, you just had sex with Tyler.

And the butterflies haven't left your body at the way he called his bedroom, your bedroom or how slow and gentle he had been with you. It's only been a few moments since the dogs interrupted you, but you swore that you could still feel his touch and you were more than positive that you'd never forget the way he felt. When you got to the bedroom, you walked into the bathroom and laid your bathing suit over the tub before placing the speaker onto the counter and walking back into the room.

Now it felt like a waiting game and you could feel your nerves start to return– mainly in the fear of, what if he doesn't want to continue? You were beginning to pace around the room, clinging to your towel before you saw it– his jersey. The jersey he let you wear on Halloween, the one Jamie said he was waiting to get boxed up in a shadow box. You smiled, dropping your towel and walking over to the jersey, picking it up and letting it fall down your body. As you heard his footsteps coming up the stairs, you quickly walked back over to the bed, standing at the end of it and kicked the towel away.

"I don't know how the hell they even got out! I could've sworn that I left them in the–" He stopped in the doorway, his eyes glued to you in his jersey and you could tell that he was seconds away from drooling.

"So?" You smiled, raising an eyebrow as he made his way over to you.

"I wanted to have you the first time I saw you in the jersey," he smiled, making his way over to you. "With nothing but spandex, heels, and those cute bunny ears."

"Aw shucks," you pouted jokingly, "no bunny ears."

His hands traveled up the bottom of the jersey and ran across your bare skin, coming to a stop on your hips. "I like this outfit much, much better."

You wrapped your arms around his neck, smiling up at him. "Even without the ears?"

"Hell yeah," he replied, pulling you into him and kissing your cheek, moving down to your neck. "But I can always go and buy another pair."

"No need," you grinned as he playfully nipped your neck and you pushed him away. "Well, I think we've got too many clothes on, Seguin. What about you?"

"I think we can fix that," he replied and you watched as his childlike grin took over his face before he pounced on you, playfully tackling you onto his bed and sending you both into a giggle fit.

❒❒❒❒

When you woke up the next morning, the two of you were intertwined in mess of limbs and bedsheets. He had his face smashed into his pillow and he was drooling a little bit, add in his slight snoring and you knew that he was still sleeping hard. And you couldn't blame him, because last night was the most physical activity you had in a long time and if it wasn't for your immediate need to pee, you'd still be sleeping too. You snuck out from beneath his arm and he immediately stirred away, glaring at you with sleepy eyes. "No, come back."

"We have to get up, Ty," you groaned as he pulled you back into him. "We have to be at the arena in an hour for morning skate and we both need to shower."

His eyes shot open and he smiled at you. "Shower sex?"

"If you get up now, then–"

He practically jumped on top of you and kissed you before rolling off and running into the bathroom, stark ass naked. "I've got the water, you bring yourself and we're all set!"

"You're insatiable, Tyler!" You laughed, leaning up on your elbows and looking into the bathroom.

He peeked out from around the corner, still with a smile on his face. "I don't know what that means, but it sounds kind of hot so thank you." He disappeared back around the corner, the shower door opening. "Now get your cute ass in here so I can wash your hair."

Your time in the shower cut your 'get ready' time short, but Tyler made up for it by practically speeding to the arena. Luckily for Tyler, the morning skate wasn't going to be a normal practice, seeing as the Stars flew out to Nashville later that afternoon. When the two of you got out of the car, you told Tyler to walk ahead of you and that you'd wait for Big Rig, that way it wasn't suspicious of you to arrive with him rather than Tyler. When Tyler went to leave, Big Rig pulled up and you waved him down. You were leaning against Tyler's car when Big Rig walked up to you, adjusting the duffle bag on his shoulder. He stopped in front of you and took in your appearance before getting the biggest grin on his face.

"What's your problem, Teddy Bear?" You asked, looking back down at your phone to reply to a text from Kennedy.

"Oh yeah, you so got laid." He picked at a wet piece of your hair and smirked. "Last night and maybe some shower sex this morning I assume?"

You almost dropped your phone with how straightforward...and quite frankly correct, he was. "Don't say it so loud, you ass!" You smacked his stomach and he just laughed. "But how do you know?"

"You've got that post-sex glow," he waved his hand at you as the two of you made your way into the building. "Plus your RBF isn't as bad this morning like it always is."

"Oh shut up," You said, bumping into him as he kept laughing. "Don't think I don't know about your post-sex routine."

He gasped, looking at you with wide eyes. "She told you about that?"

You smirked and patted his chest. "We're best friends, Teddy Bear. I know everything." You eyed him up and down before patting him on the chest again and walked ahead of him.

"Wait! What do you mean everything! What did she say?"

You kept mum all while trying not to laugh as he kept begging you to spill the details on what you knew, your entire journey to the training room. And just when you were about to tell him, Jamie came jogging down the hall. "Y/N! I need you to grab my foam roller from the car, pretty please?"

"There's like five foam rollers in the room, why do you need yours?"

"Because everyone's using one and I forgot to bring it inside with me and my hamstrings are dying," he tossed you his car keys. "I'll tell Dave you're there, please!" You groaned, but ultimately agreed to go to his car and he smiled. "You're the best little sister ever!"

You turned to walk down the hallway, giving him a deadpan stare. "I'm your only little sister."

"Fine. Best sister!"

"I'm telling Jenn!"

He and Big Rig ignored your comeback and continued their way to the locker room as you made your way back out to the parking lot. On the bright side, this little detour gave you a little more time to yourself to absorb everything that happened last night, without having to do so in a room full of hockey players. Your busy night replayed in your mind and you pushed back the blush that so desperately wanted to make an appearance on your face. One thing that you couldn't help but wonder, is whether or not last night with Tyler and everything you guys did meant you were official on some kind of level.

"Nope, don't do that," you shut Jamie's car door, tucking his foam roller under your arm as you shook your head at yourself. "Don't be that girl who falls in love with a guy the moment you have sex."

Though to be fair, it was some pretty great sex. The best you've ever had and it only made sense as to how Tyler maintained to get so many girls throughout the years and kept them coming back. When you reached the training room, you stood outside of the door for only a few moments and composed yourself before opening it and walking inside.

You were immediately greeted with wild laughter and chirps being thrown left and right, the focus mainly being on Big Rig. "What's going on?" You asked, tossing Jamie his foam roller and walking over to your designated desk to grab the bands for Big Rig's stretching.

Dickinson smiled, wiggling his eyebrows in Big Rig's direction. "Oh nothing, just asking Big Rig how his trip to the zoo was."

"The zoo?" You came to a stop in front of Big Rig, handing him one end of the band. "When the hell did you go to the zoo?"

Big Rig looks at you before tugging onto the band and starting his stretches, trying his damndest to hide his blushing. "Not the literal zoo, Y/N," Pavs chimed in from across the room. "We're just pointing out how it looks like he jumped into an animal cage and got bit quite a few times."

You were confused as hell as you looked around the room to see everybody still laughing at Big Rig. When you turned your attention to him, your eyes widened the moment they landed on his neck. He had been wearing a sweatshirt beforehand, hiding the purple bruises that traveled below the shirt collar. "Holy fuck, what did she do to you?"

The boys' laughter roared again before fading as Big Rig finally looked at you with a groan. "She just wanted to celebrate the win." He tossed his towel at Rads and Dickinson. "At least I'm getting good sex, assholes."

You cringed, hitting him on the shoulder before moving towards your desk. "Please don't talk about that."

"I thought you already knew everything?" He replied, obviously mocking you.

"Yeah, but I don't need to hear YOU talk about it to your teammates, including my brother," you shuddered, shaking your head at the thought. "Ew."

"Hey Y/N, can you grab me two ibuprofen?" Jamie asked, raising his arm into the air.

You nodded and turned your attention over to the medicine cabinet, your back to the now relaxed and chattering group of men. The door opened again, followed by a whistle. "Looks like Big Rig wasn't the only one who found himself in bed with an animal, boys."

You rolled your eyes at Rad's comment, trying your best to mute out the guy talk as your eyes skimmed the shelves for the ibuprofen. "Jesus Seggy, did you and Big Rig take trips to the zoo together?" Miro chimed in, probably still a little confused at the metaphor.

"What the fuck are you on about, Miro?" Tyler asked, moving about the training room.

"Ha, got ya!" You smiled, reaching into the back of the cabinet and grabbing the bottle. You kept your focus on opening the bottle as you closed the cabinet and turned back to face the room.

"I'm talking about the sex scratches all over your back. It looks like you bedded a fucking leopard!" Dickinson laughed. You looked upon instinct to see him tugging on Tyler's shoulders and eventually forcing him to have his back faced to the room.

The moment your eyes landed on his muscled back, your body froze and the bottle of ibuprofen fell from your hands and onto the floor. Your eyes lingered on the bright red scratches that decorated the entirety of his back– evidence of your night together and just how good Tyler had made you feel.

"Let me see!"

"No, I want to see! Are they that bad?"

You watched, horrified, as his teammates kept tugging him around, trying to get a glimpse of the so-called 'sex scratches', their laughter bouncing off of the walls. Your cheeks were no doubt a deep scarlet color by now and they only got hotter when you saw Jamie bend down and pick up the ibuprofen in front of you. "Jesus Seggy, you're telling me that you didn't know those were there?" He asked, opening the bottle and grabbing two pills before handing it back to you.

"I was uh, a little distracted I guess."

You made quick eye contact with him before tucking your head into your chest and turning away, trying to prevent yourself from any more humiliation. You kept your back to the rest of the boys, looking up only for a moment to see Big Rig looking at you with a smirk. As you walked by him, you reached out and pinched his inner thigh hard, quickly rushing by him and going to the cabinet.

"Let me guess the number for the o-scale...three for four?" Pavs called out, silencing the roaring laughter.

"No fucking way, I say one and done. He's getting too old.." Dickinson chimed in, elbowing Tyler. "There's no way he can hang on that long."

You bit your tongue as an effort to prevent yourself from saying just how many times Tyler had made you cum last night, instead, choosing to focus on helping Big Rig continue his stretching– though it wasn't needed. "Yeah Seggy, tell us!" Big Rig said, keeping his eyes on you and the smirk on his face. "Three for Three? More than four?"

If looks could kill, Big Rig would be buried in a casket six feet under right now and you made sure that he knew it. You grabbed the elastic around his foot and snapped it back, only making him laugh.

"The gel's over there, Tyler. Grab it for me and I can get out those knots." Craig said, paying no mind to the conversation around him.

Tyler was turning red and rubbing the back of his neck in an effort to try and hold them off and you were silently praying that he wouldn't cave into their pressure. "Four for four..." He mumbled and you could feel his gaze scrape over you.

The hollering from the boys around him was deafening as they all congratulated him and patted him on the back. Meanwhile, it was all you could do not to die from embarrassment while dealing with the plaguing smirk coming from Big Rig.

"Damn Seggy," Jamie laughed, patting Tyler on the back like some proud dad. "You've got a real keeper there, don't you? She managed to scratch you up that bad? She must've been doing all the work for you."

Big Rig couldn't hold back his laughter anymore, making a noise that mimicked an elephant as he let go of his side of the band and fell back onto the table, clutching onto his stomach. "Oh my God," he whispered, his face turning beet red.

You were too busy focusing on anything but the nauseous feeling you started to have the moment Jamie unknowingly congratulated Tyler on having sex with you, his younger sister. "Yeah, she is..." Tyler replied.

You kept your focus on the band around Big Rig's foot, constantly tapping his shins in an attempt to try to get him to sit back up. Before he made it known, you could feel Tyler's presence and were sure of it when Big Rig finally sat up, still with a grin on his face. "Well, isn't this a lovely sight? At least I'm not the only one getting chirped."

Tyler laughed and looked at you, seeing that you were extremely embarrassed. In an effort to calm you down, he moved closer to you, pretending like he was asking you a question. "I'm sorry. I forgot they were there and I need to get scraped and I just...came in here without a shirt."

You shrug it off, focusing on Big Rig. "It's fine. Though I'll admit, hearing my brother talk about us having sex is something I never thought I'd experience." He laughed and you looked at him, leaning against the table. "So what do you need?"

"I need a lot of things," he whispered, smiling at you. "A massage like last night, for one." He scoffed when he saw you roll your eyes in reply. "Okay yeah, don't act like my massage last night didn't do something for you."

"Man," Big Rig laughed, shaking his head at the two of you. "These Copeley 206 girls, am I right Seggy?"

You pinched Big Rig again, this time on the inner knee and he flinched away from you as he and Tyler laughed. "Well, he's not lying. I mean have you seen what you and Kennedy have done to us? Ruined our beautiful, athletic bodies with your...sexual marks."

"Yeah, well if Big Rig doesn't stop and you don't stop encouraging him," you turned to Tyler and gave him a sarcastic smile, batting your eyelashes at him. "You'll be getting none of my services from last–"

"A mini towel and some gel!" Tyler blurted out, his smirk falling and his eyes looking panicked. "I just need one of those towels and the gel. Craig said it was over here somewhere with you?"

You furrowed your eyebrows, shaking your head slightly. "What are you–" When you saw Tyler move his eyes to your left, you pretended to look for the stuff he needed and that's when you saw just how close Bishop was standing by your area, doing his band exercises.

You felt yourself begin to panic, but took a quiet, deep breath and exhaled before clearing your throat and bending down beneath the table, grabbing a towel. "I have towels, but the gel is probably with Dave. You must've heard him wrong."

Tyler nodded, taking the towel from you. "Probably, seeing as I didn't get much sleep last night." You saw the mischievous gleam in his eyes before he nodded at Big Rig. "Nice marks, did you cross paths with a squid?"

Before Big Rig could smack him with his free band, Tyler ran off laughing. You kept working with him, adding in new stretches until Bishop finished with his and left the training room. When you reached another point that Big Rig was done with his stretches, he leaned up and put both hands on your shoulders. "You need to breathe Y/N, because you look like you could pass out at any moment."

"I think I'm going to, what if..." You looked around the now, less crowded training room, collecting the bands from him. "What if he heard something? Anything or all of it? I'd be dead! My own brother would probably murder me with his hockey stick..maybe even his skate if he was angry enough."

"You'll be fine, Y/N." Big Rig patted your shoulders before hopping off of the table. "Bish has old man hearing, I doubt he heard anything."

He gave you a reassuring smile and you felt yourself start to relax. He was right, there was no way that Bishop could've heard your entire conversation, and now that you thought about it...he wasn't really all that close to you guys after all. Your gut feeling was wrong this time, you were sure of it.

"Hey Y/N, can you help me real quick? I just need my ankles taped." Miro asked, walking over to your table before hopping up and greeting you with a smile. "Best ankle taper in the game."

You smiled, before walking over to the cabinet and grabbing some pre-wrap and tape. You closed your eyes, took a deep breath, opening them once you exhaled and closed the cabinet.

Everything was going to be fine...perfect, even.

[klarolinedrabbles]

What are some of the tvd to fandoms greatest hits so to speak... I was only in it for a short time and then jumped out because I couldn't stand to

Oh, well allow me to be your guide. This will be under a read more because I already know, I’m gonna write a whole essay. Shout out to my ride or die @hellsbellschime.

I don’t think any overtly crazy happened during the good!TVD years. No wait, I’m lying.

The year the spin-off got announced, I believe it was tvguide, that posted an article with like info tidbits for currently airing shows. And one of them, was that Hayley was pregnant with Klaus’ kid. I remember this shit so clearly, man. Everyone was so confused. And then they were like SURPRISE, APRIL FOOLS. Because it was in fact April 1st. So ha-ha we all had a laugh, great. Fastforward to what, late April? Episode 4x20 airs, and it’s exactly what happened???

That whole day btw, the day the backdoor pilot for TO aired was just insanity. I’ll say that about a lot of days in this answer, but that day was really just something else. Like we were delirious, that’s the only way I can explain what happened on here. It was a nightmare but also one of the funniest night’s I’ve ever spent on here. I gotta go back for old time’s sake and reblog some of the shit from that night because we all snapped. And not in the good way. 

The TVD 100th. Now, we knew Joseph was coming back for that episode so they hype was real. Because up until that point, we’d gotten a huge load of nothing in regards to Klaroline. They released a trailer, a short one, that’s still in my favorites folder on youtube to this day. I rewatch it all the time because it’s iconic. And there was literally .002 seconds of Klaroline. It’s Caroline standing and then Klaus says “hello, caroline” and everyone lost their shit so much when it dropped that ‘hello caroline’ trended ww on twitter. 

THE DAY THE NETWORK THAT AIRED TVD IN AUSTRALIA AIRED A PROMO WITH THE KLAROLINE KISS IN 5X11. ICONIC. I literally woke up, logged on at around 11 AM my time, and my dashboard was on fire. It was the BEST. We didn’t know wtf to do, it was amazing. 

Paleyfest. Ohhhh buddy, lemme tell ya. So TVD/TO got chosen to have the CW panel’s at Paleyfest that year. Everyone was on a bit of edge because TO to that point was what, almost done with S1 and Klaroline had been given the mega cold-shoulder despite being the very thing other than the Mikaelson’s that got used to lure people in? After the pregnancy plot from hell, everyone was ready to peace tf out, but we got halted because it was a ‘ohh of course it’s gonna continue’ then they tried to nip Klaroline in the bud with 5x11 and no one was having it. So Paleyfest was where we were gonna get some ANSWERS, DAMMIT. I live on the east coast and the festival was held in the west coast so I wasn’t awake when it was happening. I remember making a post about how ‘going to sleep, and hoping when I woke up the answers were good.’. So I went to sleep, woke up a few hours later like 2-3 AM my time, and checked my blog and the first message I had was ‘don’t wake up stephanie, everything is a mess, stay asleep where everything’s fine’ I—

The gist of that was, they basically set JoMo up to be the bad-cop in shutting down Klaroline. He gave this long answer that made absolutely zero sense. The girl who asked the question about Klaroline, who was like 13 at the time, got called a bully for even asking a question at an event she paid to be at. A mess. And JP was like NO CROSSOVERS, ORGANIC, BLAH BLAH. And Paul was sitting next to her going “why can’t the show’s just intersect”, he was right and he said it. 

I can’t remember if this was S1 or S2, but somebody tweeted something and Carina replied ‘when you’re found dead in your basement with klaroline written on you this is why’ or something like that, that was a ~fun~ night. And then like half an hour later she was like “I’m sorry, I’ll never tweet about Klaroline again just leave me alone” if you’ve ever seen this fandom refer to ourselves as basement dwellers, this night is why. 

NARDUCCI. Can’t forget him. Talk about a man who just didn’t get it. And I don’t mean Klaroline, he just didn’t get anything, nothing in his head has ever clicked, I’m convinced. He used to pick fights on twitter repeatedly. Admitted once that he missed his flight because he was on twitter…arguing with a fan. AND ONE DAY, he decided to just—snap. Went on this hours long tirade against the Klaroline fandom, essentially calling everyone stupid because no one was appreciating the ‘art’ of the show. So when I say it lasted hours, I mean that. Now, you’d think, that he would be done, right? WELL, apparently that wasn’t enough, so the next day, he continued. I remember because I was in this gc on whatsapp, and I remember Erika sending a message to the gc going “omg, Narducci vs KCers round 2″ when I tell you I screamed. The man went on a two-day rampage against this fandom and it was insane. 

S6/S2 of TVD/TO was not a fun time. I can genuinely say it was borderline a chore to come on here during that time. It wasn’t fun, every day someone was in argument with someone from production on twitter. Truly the worst year of the fandom, imo. So S7/S3 rolls around and that’s where shit went nuclear. 

Hillary and I, are minding our own damn business, when someone come’s to us with information regarding the new seasons. This was post-SDCC, so it’s like the lull of September, waiting for the seasons to start in October. And we get approached with information, talkin bout how Caroline’s gonna be pregnant with Alaric’s twins in S7. When I tell you we didn’t know wtf to do. And we had to like wait on confirmation about it but then we found out it was legit and we were pissed. Literally ask us if we wanted to be in the spoiler game, the answer is no tf we did not. And she and I basically spent two days complaining. LIKE UGHHHH WE DON’T WANNA DO THIS, BUT ALSO THIS IS DISGUSTING, WE CAN’T JUST LET THEM SPRING THIS ON EVERYONE, BUT AGHH WHY US. So we chose collectively, as a duo, because das my other half yo, to blab. 

That went over as best as anyone could hope for it to go. Now, flashforward yet again, this time to around late Novemeber/December. I had been sent word that something was going down. TVD/TO lost their Thursday slots and got bumped to Friday’s, so a plan was going on, and they made one. We’d heard that they were rearranging something mid-season because they were gonna make a crossover work, publicly we found out it would be Paul and JoMo that crossover back-to-back. THEN ONE NIGHT—I call it black friday bc  that day was a fucking mess—, a friend of mine was friends with an SCer, I wanna say, and she was hearing word that the crossover did have Klaus and Caroline interact via phone call, but that it was very definitively an ending. Because they spoke about Camille and Stefan, etc, etc. Like a closing of the book type thing. So okay, we were like devastated, everyone on twitter was losing their shit. Everyone was pissed, and @-ing the writers all these crazy, sad things, we were a wreck. Ask Hillary about this night because she, I remember, describes it as ‘logging on and reading what everyone else had and not understanding why tf everyone was mad about it’. It was the first and last time that our roles were reversed, and bless her for it. 

SO WE’RE SITTING THERE, it’s Saturday, and we kept getting more information and we were like…something isn’t right here. So we did a bit of digging, spoke to a few people and waited it out. LO AND BEHOLD, everything we’d heard about the phone call was false. There was a phone call but the CKers and SCers were so mad about what was actually said in it, that a few of em, ring leaders of the feeble minded, made up a version and passed it around their fandoms as legit till it eventually worked it’s way over to us. So we all jumped the gun on fake information, lmfskdnknsks. Rumor has it, you can still hear Hillary yelling ‘I told you so’ at me through our group chat. 

So all was well, I couldn’t tell everyone why not to panic, just that they didn’t need to. Until, this account popped up called tvdspoiler or something on twitter, also saying false information about the phone call. Sending everyone into a panic yet again. I remember this because I was at  kmart with my mom, and the kmart by my house was in a basement so I had no cell service. I was able to send like a couple of messages, and was basically like ‘tell everyone to chill, I’ll clear it up when I get home’ did that in like a couple of hours cause then I had to leave to the midnight showing of the force awakens with my friends. So that day was chaotic, but fun. It was the first time I reached 99+ messages on my inbox, lmao. 

So that all happened like a good while before we actually saw the episode. But cut to a few weeks later. I woke up at 1 AM my time to drink water, was on tumblr trying to go back to sleep. I checked my inbox and there was this bizarre message talking about ‘got some scoop’ and they were like ‘Finn dies in 3x17, Aurora gets put into some weird sleeping spell in 3x18, Camille and Davina die in 3x19, Lucien dies in 3x20′ and I quite literally laughed??? Literally who wouldn’t. Like who tf would ever believe TO had the balls to do all of that when they never killed anyone off. AND, WHO WOULD BELIEVE THAT SOMEONE WOULD JUST STOP BY, SHARE IT AND LEAVE. So I sent a screenshot to Hillary and was like ‘yo did you get this because wtf’. We often got duplicate messages. And we often got messages of people who were pissed about the two previous times we, from the klaroline fandom of all places, had legit info that wound up being true, that they were just waiting for us to fuck up. So we used to get messages of people pretending they were sharing info, and it was just antis trying to make us look stupid. 

SO, Hillary says ‘just answer it because it’s obviously fake’ top ten moments before disaster. I answer it and am like oh haha, and where did that info come from. And they came back like a minute later, saying ‘I have a source’ THEN THEY ELABORATED. They mentioned that Lucien drags Freya and Vincent to Mystic Falls to do this spell with some bullet and etc. So at that point we were like fUCK because that same day we’d found out was in 3x16, which ended with Lucien and this white-oak bullet, having kidnapped Freya. And that’s when we knew, that someone showed up in the middle of the night, spoiled the whole back-half of TO S3—and then left.

The back-half of S3 was so fun??? Every week the info just kept coming true. On the wikia everyone hated me, probably the most anti messages I ever had was during that time, honestly it was great, 10/10 would recommend. 

THEN, at some point in our blog history, Hillary had been getting quite a few messages about PT. And she had this fucking line in one of the messages about Phoebe’s pronunciation with her accent for the show, or lack thereof. And she said “weeches and woves will always have a place in my heart” SO THEM PHOEBE TWEETED IT. THAT EXACT LINE, and we were like was she...? So we shrugged off okay. A few days later, she tweeted “hellsbellschime enough, there’s plenty of other things to watch on tv, I hear mad men’s great.” And I—

THIS WAS ON SOME RANDOM ASS SUNDAY. Like I was lounging around, waiting for the new episode of game of thrones and then WHAM, chaos. AND AS IF THAT WASNT ENOUGH, Leah joined in too. Putting a target on my friends back...about her blog that no one was making them read. You can’t make that shit up. And Jenn actually replied to Phoebe’s tweet and got a reply back, and she was all “you’re right, I’m sorry” and then deleted the original tweet, which I still have a screenshot of btw. And then Leah showed up in Hillary’s inbox with this ridiculous three part ask about how she shouldn’t criticize women in the acting industry because of how hard it is for women in that industry which is true, but it doesn’t make you exempt from criticism??? So not sure where she meant to go with that one.

SO THERE WE HAVE IT, our fandom’s greatest hits. I’m sure I can elaborate and insert more, but I’ve been typing for a good 40 minutes. 

Told ya, I wrote a whole dissertation, lmaooo.

[dayasbun]

Fame - Angus Cloud (4)

Summary- a luckily timed audition leads to you falling for your new and unexpected co-star.

Warnings- okay HI welcome to my first multi chapter series woah?! this is actually so exciting for me like wow especially since angus doesn’t have any fics yet im just really really excited- so warnings! smut for sure, bad words, lotsa fluff, angst- everything in one basically. here comes a ride and I hope you enjoy :)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4 {reading now}

-

“Fuck right there- Oh my god please-” You moaned holding his hair. “You never had anyone eat your pussy like this before right?” he said eating deeper as you moaned and squirmed. “Only you baby, this pussy is only you-”

“Yo wake the fuck up, you making weird noises and shit.”

You sat up taking in a deep breath and inspected your surroundings. There stood a worried Angus with a mug in his hand. “I'm fine...” you said quite unconvincingly.

“You sure? I went to make you some tea and came back to you rolling around and groaning and shit, thought that strange netflix monster had come to you or sum.”

“The demogorgan-”

“Yeah that shit!” He sat next to you on the edge of the bed. “Nightmare?” he asked softly as he handed you the tea.

“Well not exactly...” You took the warm mug and took in a long swig of the warm goodness. It's not like you were just going to openly tell him ‘Oh no, I just had a dream about you eating me out and I loved every second of it.’ “Actually yeah, a nightmare.” you lied.

“I hate those, what was yours about?”

“I...a monster ate me alive and I couldn't stop it.”

Angus shook his head. “Damn mamas, I’m sorry. Those suck, I know its like 2 pm, but let’s eat some breakfast and try to forget about it.”

You nodded standing up and stretching “Thanks...for the tea.”

“Of course, don’t girls love tea? Ion know, I don't really be sleeping with girls that often.” He chuckled walking into the small kitchen.

“Tea is amazing!” You exclaimed, following him and sitting on the counter. “I love tea in all seasons, it has so many benefits.”

“Yeah? What’s some of them benefits.”

“Well green tea has amazing antioxidants, and is a more naturally caffeinated drink than coffee- with not as many negative results. But don't get me wrong, I really do love my coffee- anyway! Tea can help straighten and strengthen bones, brighten your smile, and help you lose weight!!”

“Oh wow.” He laughed “I didn't even care about all that tea shit, just wanted to hear your voice. But it was actually kinda interesting.”

“Yeah- and don't worry about a lack of my voice, I never shut up.”

“You right about that; but before you get all defensive, its aight. I like hearing you blab off about random stuff ion care about.”

You felt your face grow hot as you stifled a giggle that wanted to come out. “Thank you. I think I talk too much, but hey, can't really stop it y’know?” Angus nodded as he cracked 5 eggs into a pan. “You just be going off about stuff- actually you was sleep talking a little bit.”

Fuck.

“Yeah? What was I saying?” you asked innocently, hoping he didn't say what he was most definitely about to say.

“Well it was when you had that nightmare. Was the monster a cow or sum? Cuz you kept saying ‘Angus’ so like.” He turned to look at you “I figure it wasn’t me, but it was probably like...some beef monster.”

“Oh yeah, for sure a beef monster.”

“And that beef monster was eating you huh?”

You smoothly tucked your hair behind your ear and nodded with a sweet smile “Mhm.”

Angus gave you a quick up and down look before turning around and continuing to scramble the eggs. You had to change the current topic or you'd die of embarrassment, so you decided to bring up the topic of the show instead. “Do you know which scenes we’re filming tomorrow?”

“Yeah, no sex scenes until next week. Tomorrow they finna do you coming back and me reminiscing on the old times.”

“Okay cool. I have those lines down, pretty simple...” You mumbled.

“Yeah me too.”

A butcher knife couldn't even cut the tension in the room right now. Fuck, a chainsaw couldn't either.

“So like... I’m gonna go change and I'll be right back? Sound good?”

“You can wear summa my stuff. If you want- you don’t got to i'm just offering.”

“Oh that'd be great thanks! You know my trailer is just so far away!” You joked, knowing that it was only next door. You hopped off of the counter and followed him back into the room you two had just come out of.

“You just want one big shirt? Girls be doing that alot nowadays.”

“Yeah, thanks that'd be great...”

“So the biggest shirt I got got some barbecue stains on it- ignore it. I just went off on some spicy wings the other day-”

You burst out laughing and sat on the bed “Gus it’s fine, gimme!” You pulled your shirt off and held out your hands. He turned back around to find you only in your bra and shorts.

“Yooooo-”

“Its fine, we have to be completely naked with each other next week. Titties are just titties.” You took the shirt out of his hands and put it on. After pulling off the shorts that you wore underneath the shirt; that was more like a dress- and folding them, you walked back into the kitchen and reclaimed your spot on the counter.

“Well I know one problem we won't have!” You stated with a smirk.

“Yeah, and what's that?”

“Drake was worried you wouldn't be able to ‘get it up’...but honestly, I don’t think it'll be too hard.”

“Why you think that?”

“Look down.”

Sure, Angus wouldn't let you live down the wet dream you had about him for quite a while, but you'd never let him live down the boner he got- just from seeing you in a bra.

+

“So. Let's get to the real real.” Storm said pulling her knees up to her chest with a grin. “What the hell is going on with you and Angus?”

You, Storm and Daya were hanging in your trailer. You three were the only girls that didn't have scenes to film right now, Alexia, Barbie and the rest of the female cast were shooting night scenes. They had helped you set up the place to seem more homey, and now the newly formed trio you were a part of was in your bed with microwave popcorn, juicy juice, and twizzlers.

“Nothing Storm! Actually nothing I-”

“Nope, don't do that.” Z quickly cut you off. “Everyone can see it, it’s like what everyone on set talks about.”

“What?-”

“Plus, he talks about you too much, and you do the same with him! Earlier I said I wanted to pop some microwave popcorn and you started telling me about some conspiracy he told you about popcorn and microwaves, how they’re a secret way in for the government- like girl! Don't tell me you're so whipped that you're out here believing this stuff!”

“OKAY! Okay! I get it...look Gus is-”

“Gus?! You call him Gus?”

“Yeah?-”

“He literally hates that nickname with a passion. He gotta love you.” Storm chuckled grabbing a handful of popcorn.

“Okay well Angus is cute. He’s sweet and funny and caring- BUT. I won’t let anything happen between us, it’s like...business. This field is acting- and I don't think it would be good for us to do anything more, especially during filming.”

Z sighed. “Falling for your costars is weird.”

“Yeah.” Storm chimed in. “Our girl Daya been there and done that...but it never really affected her acting. She's so talented that she could keep it hidden off screen and focus on her character. I mean I know you talented Y/N...but you not my big sis like Z, so I don't really know how you'd be able to deal with it yet. Drake already seemed a bit iffy about it because he could tell you two had a little something going, but the thing comforting him is y'all are talented. So he knows you can do it- I know you can too.”

“Yeah he sent us a letter about it...it's just hard. I can't lose this role, I've come so far.”

“I don't think you’ll lose it. I think you'll be fine. Just keep a business mindset when on set. What goes on off screen and behind closed doors is your business, girl. Drake or nobody can stop that- Jesus can't even stop that!”

You and Storm giggled at Zendaya’s last comment. “Yeah yeah yeah...okay I get it guys. I got this- period.”

“Period.”

“Period...So were you one of those girls that watched all the Fez scene compilations on Youtube and drooled?” Storm teased you.

“No!” You said firmly, knowing you were lying.

“Oh she definitely was.”

“I wasn't!”

“I just don't see it! Angus is just not attractive to me, he looks like one of those guys that stop you at the gas station with a ghetto ass group of friends- he rubs his hands together and then screams ‘Hey baby lemme get yo numbaaaa!!!!’“

In response, you practically fell over laughing “Stoppp no!”

The rest of the night was filled with giggles and whispers, and by 1 AM, you, Z, and Storm were all huddled up in your little twin trailer bed. They snored softly but you couldn't seem to sleep. Just as you were .1 seconds away from drifting off, your phone buzzed next to you.

Angus☁️: u uppppp

-oh wow yeah that's not the most fboy thing ever to send at 1:27 am

Angus☁️:  see all you had to say was yes you didn't have to do allat

-can i help you mr cloud

Angus☁️: what typa help you offering?

-whatever help you need.

Angus☁️: you finna have some more beef dreams tonight?

-you finna get a boner if you see me in my bra again?

Angus☁️: maybe.

-then i'll say maybe too.

Angus☁️: you're too much

-i know i am, did you film today?

Angus☁️: ye i had some scenes wit jacob

-wit

Angus☁️: leave me alone

-you texted me

-and wow you sound really mature rn not at all like a five year old

Angus☁️: if i was w you rn id make you regret that

-was that supposed to be a threat or a way to try to make me sext

Angus☁️: both

-you should go text all the hoes you have waiting for you at home

Angus☁️: im texting them at the same time

-boy...

Angus☁️: im plAyin

Angus☁️: only you :)

-getting soft???

Angus☁️: no and i wish this was instagram dms so i could unsend it fuck

-fuck

Angus☁️: thats another thing you was saying during your ‘nightmare’

-STOP NO I WAS NOT

Angus☁️: yeah i know you wasnt lmao i just like messing w you

-you can mess w me whenever you want to

Angus☁️: oh bet????

-goodnight angus

Angus☁️: nah i want you to tell me about me messing w you

Angus☁️: damn you really left

Angus☁️: thats wrong 

Angus☁️: doing me dirty

-GTS MY PHONE KEEPS GOING OFF

Angus☁️: then put it on silent?

-NO

Angus☁️: ill stop being annoying if you come over here

-i cant, im w z and storm too

Angus☁️: shit okay well it was worth a shot

-why, what was you planning to do

Angus☁️: cuddle

-its fr time for you to go bed, i think your sleepiness is making you too soft and taking the hood away

Angus☁️: goodnight

-goodnight

Angus☁️: gn

-gn

Angus☁️: night

-night

Angus☁️: GOODNIGHT

-OKAY GN

Angus☁️: STOP REPLYING

Angus☁️: night

-

taglist:

@nikkixostan @melaninmarvel @celiajrs @siriuslycollins

[therewas-a-girl]

Shipwrecks, Of the Wretched, de profundis ALL OF THE QUESTIONS

the 

you think i will be intimidated by this BUT CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!!! *cracks knuckles*

Shipwrecks

1. What inspired you to write the fic this way?

this fic is written mostly traditionally tbh - its cronologically told, in third person and mostly from one pov which is (and will be) feclicity. however, i have changed my mind about a lot of things since i started the fic - for one, i want to incorporate the whole ‘unreliable narrator’ thing a lot more. i want to use flashbacks more carefully: playing with timelines in how cetain present time events triger past moemories that illuminate the REASON behind present time choices. things like that. 

the real inspiration for the fic itself was another fic i read -  I've Never Truly Loved (Until You Put Your Arms Around Me) by theirhappystory. And the fact that i read that fic ... while i was on a boat... while there was a storm. a small one BUT STILL. 

2: What scene did you first put down?

Whatever Walks Here, Walks Alone - aka oliver looking at felicity in the lair. by itself this scene could fit anywhere from the begining of season 1, to anywhere in season 2. i didnt really write it with a timeline in mind. it was mroe like me pondering the characters. 

3: What's your favorite line of narration?

i had a LOT of fun - unexpected fun - writing Diggle’s pov in teh whole situation. you see, when i started the story the first thing i wanted to figure out was where do i want the characters to end up in relation to each other - so that i could start the story with them being in the diametrically opposite  spot! but then i realized that i also want contrast within the trio - and where oliver and felicity move towards each other at a glacial pace, john and felicty have a much more easy time understanding where the other stands. like... they vibe. and it had a lot o fun planing out that vibe - and all teh ways it pisses off oliver, in the begining. 

4: What's your favorite line of dialogue?

To answer this i would have to go back and re-read a lot of what i wrote and plan to write, but there is a line that STAYS with me and its one felicity says. 

so - in the show, the trio do eventually find out that the Gambit was sabotaged and did not just sink. Now - in Shipwrecks - this would have  a major devastating effect on felicity, who was in the gambit with oliver and sara. And she is the one that has the hunch that moira was involved (i think this happens in canon too?) - and she pushes oliver about it. Bc ofc she thinks of moira as just another person. Worse even - a person who hurt her. At this point she is MANIC about it and it freaks oliver out. Like, take the natural defensiveness he has against the idea and add a fear that felicity might genuinely kill his mother, and you get him being very agressively AGAINST felicity following moira anywhere. and when felicity understands that oliver has no intention of pursuing a what she sees as a genuine lead about the event that practically ruined them as people, she just, shuts down, makes a disgusted face, thinks of all the ritch fuckers she’s known and framed and used and how they close ranks when their reputation or personal interest is touched and just, blurts it out.  

 ‘you fucking people.’ 

5: What part was hardest to write?

all of it lmao. like WRITING IT. 

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

The fact that i planned it out and it has like, different installments and a whole journey, which is one of losing oneself, understanding that ones self has been lost, seeing vengence for that loss (aka giving in/facing the anger it causes), seeking freedom, going against ones impulses to build better ones, building relationships, mantaining them, finding ones self through small acts of kindness towards ones self, rebuilding ones personality

basically i wrote a journey about getting out of depression and grief, before i realized that THAT was what i was actually writing about. 

7: Where did the title come from?

The title of the series is pretty straightforward: they were shipwrecked and now theyre coming back. 'above the vaulted sky’ is a line from a I am, by John Claire.  

I am—yet what I am none cares or knows;My friends forsake me like a memory lost:I am the self-consumer of my woes—They rise and vanish in oblivious host,Like shadows in love’s frenzied stifled throesAnd yet I am, and live—like vapours tossedInto the nothingness of scorn and noise,Into the living sea of waking dreams,Where there is neither sense of life or joys,But the vast shipwreck of my life’s esteems;Even the dearest that I loved the bestAre strange—nay, rather, stranger than the rest.I long for scenes where man hath never trodA place where woman never smiled or weptThere to abide with my Creator, God,And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept,Untroubling and untroubled where I lieThe grass below—above the vaulted sky.

It’s a rather sad one actually, but i read it as a poem about hope. About the dream of hope, anyway. And this need to be away - from what is known because at this point what is known is horrible and the only happiness the imagination can come up with, is to be as far from it as possible and alone. and that is very much where felicity starts out with. With her hope not being about peace, but an isolation in stillness because that is the only good place she can imagine. 

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

It did. I’ve been depressed and strugling with horrendous issues of self worth and anxiety since i was about 14. And i never knew. It literally took me turning 28 to realize what the fuck was wrong. And its depressing (lol) because its just so much fucking time that i wasted, you know. And i remember - like, when i was deep in my depression - i used to think all the time ‘I must have been a real life person once. Like, an actual person, with a personality, and likes and dislikes and feelings - but i dont remember her. I dont know who that girl even is, i woudlnt regognise her at all.’ It felt like some part of me had died. Like there was literal murder involved. Cause so little of me survived. 

but it turns out, i have been this way - just less intensely (and in some cases a lot MORE intensely) since i hit puberty. i didnt die - i just got worse and did not deal with it at all.  

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

not really. not yet, anyway. 

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

im actually not sure that i do want oliver-felicity for this sotry. the dynamic between felicity and tommy is also very veyr interesting. and i dont really know where i will take them. especially in the first and second story, their connection is intense. but this is also part of teh slowburn - oliver and felicity, however it happens, its gonna be slow. 

11: What do you like best about this fic?

how personal it is to me, and my experience. and the fact that, if i write it well, i might actually be sayin something. 

12: What do you like least about this fic?

THE FACT THAT I HAVENT WRITTEN IT YET T_T

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn't listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

PHEW I have whole playlists i built as i was ordering this whole series. with songs that fit the mood, the direction of the storytelling and all. 

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

I genuinely want people to see this as a story about healing.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

i havent written all of it yet - but i did learn something very interesting about myself. that i have been putting my trauma into narratives to deal with it looong since i knew that was a thing, or i was even aware that i was doing it. 

and on that depressing note, i will end this post and start a new one for the other stories lmao 

[midnightglowsims]

All 93 for Beth

Thanks Rae, I have my work cut out for me!!! 

What is their gender? Female 

What is their sexuality? Though she doesn’t like putting labels on things, if the attraction is mutual she will like anyone lmao 

What is the meaning behind their name? Do they have any nicknames? She doesn’t really have a meaning behind her name, but her nicknames are Bethy, Bethy Boo, and Princess (given by Cache hehe)

Do they have any siblings? How many? Are they older or younger?  Which sibling are they the closest with? Not any biological siblings, but she thinks of her best friend Howl as her brother

What’s their relationship with their parents like? What about other relatives? Uh, she really has no relationship with her parents. She was put up for adoption as soon as she was born, and has little to no contact with them. She also doesn’t know any of her relatives.

What would they give their life for? Probably her best friend Howl, he’s been there for her through a lot of shit and he’s seen her at her worst, she’s super grateful to have him and would always protect him

Are they in a romantic relationship? With who? How did they meet? OOH In an AU, She met this guy named Cache also in the system, and though they weren’t technically in a relationship, they did always have chemistry, it’s probably the closest thing she’s ever had to a real relationship

What do they believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them? Honestly? She’s got no idea. She’s never been religious is any way so she doesn’t know what to expect, and she’s scared as hell about it

What is their favorite color? Favorite animal? Pink, she loves pink. And cats, she’d have a thousand cats if she could

What are some of their talents/skills? She paints quite often, she doesn’t think she’s very good though she is. Also singing, she was in a band for a little bit and even though they never went anywhere, she still often sings

If they could make a mark on history, what would they like it to be? Uh, I dunno if this really counts, but growing up in the system herself, she’d probably wanna do something like create a safe space for all the foster kids she could or try and help better the system as much as possible

How old are they? When is their birthday? Canon her is like 17 I think but the AU I’m currently rping her in she’s 20! And her birthday is September 7th

What do they do for fun? Watch TV, hangout with her cat Tango, daydream about fantasies that’ll probably never happen, lmao

What is their favorite food? How often do they get to eat it? Pizza rolls, don’t ask me why but this girl loves her pizza rolls and will eat them as often as she can

What was something their parents taught them? Nothing LMAO

Are they religious? Not at all

Where were they born? Aurora, Colorado

What languages can they speak? Where did they learn these languages? Just English

What is their occupation? She doesn’t really have one at the moment tbh

Do they have any titles? How did they earn them? Not that I know of honestly

What is their favorite thing about their personality? She really likes that she’s so caring, pretty much anyone she meets she cares about, she’s got a really big heart so even if they hurt her in any way she’ll still care about them

What is their least favorite thing about their personality? She’ll sometimes say the wrong thing without meaning to, her mind can’t keep up sometimes and she’ll totally say the wrong thing without meaning to, and it’ll come off really wrong/mean sounding, even though she doesn’t mean it

Do they get lonely easily? Yes, most definitely, she gets lonely very easily, a lot more than she’d like to admit tbh

Do you know their MBTI type? Nope cause I’m lazy

What is their biggest flaw? Probably shutting people out when life gets too hard. She has a tendency to push people away when she needs them the most

Are they aware of their flaws? Most definitely

What is their biggest strength? Probably her big heart, she genuinely loves and cares about her best friends so much

Are they aware of their strengths? Yeah, definitely

How would they describe their own personality? She’d probably describe herself as very sweet and loving, at least after she got comfortable with someone lol

When frightened, will they resort to “fight” or “flight”? Flight LMAO, she’s the most anxious/scared bean ever so anytime there’s any type of fight/scary thing she will definitely try to run

Does this character ever put somebody else’s needs before their own? Who do they do this for? How often do they do this? I’d say she does this often if it’s needed, and honestly probably only for Howl & Cache

What is their self esteem like? It’s.. kind of there. It’s not very high at all, she definitely does not think she’s beautiful in any way

What is their biggest fear? How would they react to having to face it? Her loved ones dying/leaving her. Her friends are her only support system and anything happening to them is her biggest fear

How easily do they trust others with their secrets? With their lives? Uh, not easily I’d say. It already takes a little bit for her to completely trust someone so trusting someone with her life? It’d be rare

What is the easiest way to annoy them? Honestly just by doing annoying things, but she doesn’t usually get annoyed easily

What is their sense of humor like? Give an example of a joke they would find humorous. Uh she laughs at pretty much anything, any type of corny joke. Example though: What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop. She’d die laughing

How easy is it for them to say “I love you”? Do they say it without meaning it? Oooh okay.. so it definitely would not be easy for her to say, her anxiety would definitely hold her back until she built up the courage, and even then she’d still be scared. She would definitely not say it if she didn’t mean it, she knew she wouldn’t wanna be hurt in that way so she wouldn’t do it to anyone else

What do others admire most about their personality? Her big heart and her ability to love and care about someone

What does their happily ever after look like? I don’t know yet and neither does she, lmao, but she hopes to settle down with someone she loves one day

Who do they trust most? Is that trust mutual? Howl, and it most definitely is mutual

What does their laugh sound like? Do they snort when they laugh? How often do they laugh? In my head her laugh is super sweet and melodic even, and she most definitely snorts when she laughs. She’ll honestly laugh anytime anyone says anything even remotely funny

What is their favorite thing about their physical appearance? Her eyes, they remind her of the ocean and it’s really the only thing she’s confident about

What is their least favorite thing about their physical appearance? Her nose, she feels it’s too big for her face and she’s super insecure about it

Do they have any scars? If so, what are the stories behind those scars?Not that I know of honestly

How would they describe their own appearance? She would honestly say she’s average looking, not super pretty but not exactly ugly either. She thinks she has a nice face, in terms of she thinks she doesn’t have a resting bitch face or anything lmao

How easily can they express emotions? How easily can they hide emotions? Uh, her emotions always get the best of her, sometimes she’ll bottle things up but more often than not you can automatically tell how she’s feeling because she’s really bad at hiding things

What’s their pain tolerance like? Uh, low, definitely low

Do they have any tattoos? What are the stories behind those tattoos? She doesn’t have any

Do they have any piercings? Just her ears

How would you describe their style of clothing? How would they describe their style of clothing? Normal/average. She usually doesn’t wear anything over the top. She does wear a lot of pink clothing/accessories though

What is their height? Weight? 5′2 I think, she’s really short. She’s a really small person all over, so probably nothing more than 135 lbs

What is their body type? Are they muscular, chubby, skinny, etc? Just small/skinny I guess

What is their hair color? Eye color? Skin tone? Her hair is blonde, eye color is blue, her skin tone is more on the pale side, she doesn’t usually tan

What is their current hairstyle? What have been some of their past hairstyles? Which was their favorite hairstyle? Her hairstyle has pretty much stayed the same, it’s always been a medium length, though it was bright pink when she was younger

What is their alcohol tolerance like? What kind of drunk are they? How bad are their hangovers? She doesn’t usually drink, or at least not enough to get drunk, but if she did she’d probably be a sleepy/cuddly drunk, and her hangovers would be pretty normal, probably just a headache

What do they smell like? Why do they smell like this? (Is it the things they’re around or a perfume they wear?) I feel like she’d smell really sweet, but not overly sweet, probably like roses or one of her favorite perfumes, she always wants to smell good

How do they feel about sex? Are they a virgin? It makes her nervous with specific people, but if she ever hooked up with someone random (which doesn’t usually happen), it wouldn’t really matter to her. And she’s not, lol

What is their most noticeable physical attribute? Her eyes

What does their resting face look like? Do they have RBF? Probably more bored than anything, she doesn’t have a RBF 

Describe the way they sleep. Surrounded by lots of blankets and pillows, and with her cat Tango

Which season is their favorite season? Spring, she loves the flowers and how everything goes from dreary and cold to warm and colorful

Have they ever been betrayed? How did it affect their ability to trust others? The biggest betrayal she’s been through was either her last foster mother and how she did the worst thing possible, or when her best friend Cache left out of the blue. She’s always had some trust issues but honestly Cache leaving her probably made it a bit worse

What is always guaranteed to make them smile? If anyone compliments her, and just seeing her loved ones in general, she’s grateful to have them so she’s almost always all smiles around them

Do they get cold easily? Do they get overheated easily? Beth is always cold, she rarely gets overheated, but in autumn/winter she stays cold

What’s their immune system like? Do they get sick often? How do they react to getting sick? Her immune system is normal, she honestly doesn’t really get sick, but if she did she’d 100% complain the entire time

Where do they live? Do they like it there? In her AU she likes where she lives, it’s a small apartment with her best friend, but it’s home

Is their bedroom messy? What about their bathroom? Kitchen? Living room? Her bedroom and bathroom is more messy than it is clean, but she always tries to keep the living room and kitchen clean if guests ever came over

How did their environment growing up affect their personality? Well, switching between foster homes and group homes so often she’s honestly started to think she’s unlovable, or there’s something wrong with her. She thought that for a long time, and even though she’s older now, it sometimes still affects her

How did the people in their environment growing up affect their personality? Honestly, the only person that really affected her deeply is Cache, he was really the first boy to show her any attention/be affectionate toward her and that really stuck with her. He was honestly one of the first people she truly trusted, and when he left she was shattered, almost heartbroken, she didn’t think she’d completely heal but she somehow did

How do they feel about animals? Do they have any pets? She loves animals so much, she’d probably have a million if she could, but right now she only has her cat Tango, and she loves him more than anything

How are they with children? Do they have any? Do they want any? She doesn’t usually interact with children, she definitely doesn’t have any, but maybe later in life she thinks she’d want a few

Would they rather have stability or comfort? Comfort, she still would want stability, but if she could be completely comfortable and content, she would

Do they prefer the indoors or outdoors? She likes both, but she’s inside more often than not, and definitely prefers it, she’s a homebody 

What weather is their favorite? Do they like storms? She loves sunny spring days, and she only likes storm if the thunder and lightning isn’t too intense, she gets scared quite easily

If given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen? She’d probably write any song lyrics that come to mind, or anything special to her

How organized are they? Not at all, she’s a very messy person and misplaces things often

What is their most prized possession? I honestly don’t know, but if she had to pick, she’d probably pick Tango because he’s her baby lmao

Who do they consider to be their best friend? Howl

What is their economic situation? Ehh.. normal but also not? She’s not broke, but she’s not rich, probably just average, she’s pretty comfortable with her financial standing

Are they a morning person or a night owl? Night owl, she hates waking up early and always has

Are they bothered by the sight of blood? Not at all really, she’s pretty used to it

What is their handwriting like? I like to think it’s very cute and girly, she probably dots her i’s with hearts

Can they swim? How well? Do they like to swim? She can, she’s not the best swimmer though, and sort of. It’s not her favorite thing

Which deadly sin do they represent best? I’m gonna say envy, she’s always been jealous of other people who have loving families or have been adopted into loving families, especially in the foster system when she saw a bunch of children being adopted, she always felt like something was wrong with her and it’s always kinda stuck with her ever since

Do they believe in ghosts? Yeah, she watches too many horror documentaries 

How do they celebrate holidays? How do they celebrate birthdays? She celebrates holidays with loved ones and goes all out for them, and she doesn’t do much for her birthday, maybe have cake but any celebration is unlikely

What is something they regret? She made out with Howl’s ex boyfriend once, granted she didn’t know they were ex boyfriends, but it hurt him and she doesn’t ever wanna hurt him, so she still regrets it to this day

Do they have an accent? Nope

What is their D&D alignment? Probably chaotic good

Are they right or left handed? Right handed

If they were a tweet, what tweet would they be? Is down below

Describe them as a John Mulaney gif. Is down below

What’s the most iconic line of dialogue they’ve ever said? I honestly searched for like 20 minutes and gave up, LMAO 

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam season 3, episode 10 (season finale) reaction

Finally I got this done! Sorry it took such a long time to wrap up this season, I’ve just been tired and busy over the last month. And, you know, maybe I wasn’t in a rush to say goodbye to S3 again.

Thank you for everyone who has been reading these and commenting, liking, reblogging, etc. I have gotten so many wonderfully kind remarks on these posts, and I loved hearing people’s own thoughts on their S3 viewing experience or their interpretation of the story. Not to sound overly dramatic, but it made my day to hear from you. Also, I am aware these posts are not short, lmao, so thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings. 

Also want to thank @skamenglishsubs for doing the subtitled episodes and for contributing clarifications on Norwegian language!

Episode 10

Clip 1 - Minutt for minutt

This is my favorite clip in all of Skam.

O Helga Natt is breath-taking, cinematic, and spectacular. I cried buckets when I saw it the first time, but Minutt for minutt is the clip that puts tears in my eyes every single time I watch it. It is simple, honest, and kind. It’s in this clip that I truly feel like everything is going to be okay.

If O Helga Natt is a parallel scene to 21:21, its mirror in structure and symbolism, then Minutt for minutt is a parallel to Hjernen er alene. In both clips we open on Isak and Even in bed Saturday morning, and the camera doesn’t leave the bed except with the presence of an outsider to the Evak sphere (Eskild in Hjernen er alene, Sonja in Minutt for minutt). In both clips Isak’s bed is a safe zone, a place of comfort for both the boys. In Hjernen er alene we are introduced to Even’s depressive tendencies via hints; in Minutt for minutt we confront them head-on. In Hjernen er alene, Even seems to be the one doing more of the comfort-giving role, holding Isak and stroking his back as Isak talks about what lead him to move into the flat, while Isak doesn’t really understand Even’s hints at depression; In Minutt for minutt it’s Isak’s turn to take on the role of comforting and holding Even, aware of what Even is going through. In Hjernen er alene, Even asks if he can stay with Isak forever; in Minutt for minutt, Isak’s lesson learned is not to think about the future, or forever, but to take things one day at at time.

Does anyone else get chills as the piano starts over the black screen, before we even get to Isak and Even? It’s so haunting. 

The song, “Lantern” by The White Birch, is so beautiful and sets the tone of the scene perfectly. It’s gentle, like resting in bed, watching someone sleep. It’s not too forceful or overwhelmingly powerful, but calm and careful. This is one of my favorite soundtrack choices in the series.  

There’s one lyric in particular that encapsulates part of what I love about this scene:

I prayed for newborn skies / to lift me up so high 

What I think I love about this song choice, and specifically about this lyric, is that it’s not even about everything being okay, or Isak being in love with Even and standing by him. It is about hope. Praying for things to get better. Hoping they will. But it’s a prayer, not a promise. And it’s that sentiment that really moves me. Because of course Isak will be here for Even, of course Isak will try to make things right, as best as he can. But when it comes down to it, there is no guarantee that things will be okay. Everything may fall apart. What matters, what makes this scene so incredibly moving that I’m tearing up just typing about it, is having full knowledge that failure is an option, but believing it’s still worth it to try anyway. It’s worth it to keep a vigil over the person that you love as they go through the dark hours. There’s something very selfless and brave about it.

Just as an aside, I enjoyed how you saw the lighting change at various points in the clip to show the sun coming up - that makes sense with the literal passage of time, obviously, but also as a reflection of the song’s lyrics. Hoping for those newborn skies, waiting for the sun to come out. Getting through the darkness. 

We cut from the black screen to Isak in bed, facing Even, eyes open, while Even sleeps. That one image says it all. If you were wondering what happened after O Helga Natt, Isak took Even home and they went to bed and Isak watched over him. He’s determined to make sure Even is okay.

I remember people were really relieved that Even was finally getting some sleep, after dealing with insomnia all season (his manic episode, as well as “I don’t sleep cuz sleep is the cousin to death”) and then other people explained that no, it’s not really that great. It’s not just about Even getting some rest, it’s that he’s depressed so he doesn’t have the energy to do more than sleep.

Sleep is such a recurring image this season, too, something we see both Isak and Even struggle with, for different reasons. We’ve seen Isak sleep, especially when he had Even in his bed, but so far we haven’t seen Even sleep at all. I think Isak got a lot of peace at certain points when his relationship with Even seemed to be on a good path (not to mention when issues with his family and friends weren’t so fraught), but Even’s big issue has been hanging over his head all season, until this point. It makes sense we’ve never seen him asleep.

I love that they’re so still, Even because he’s asleep, obviously, but Isak is just lying there watching Even. So steadfast. Like he’s so relieved to have him back, and aware of how lucky he is, but also aware that he needs to be there for him, that the hard part isn’t over.

Similar to the hotel scene, we cut to black again, to signify the passage of time, or periods of rest (Isak closes his eyes in the first shot like he’s drifting off). But we cut back to the bed when Even rolls over, as if that startled Isak back to full consciousness.

When Even rolls over, some of his back is exposed, and Isak tries to stretch the blanket and smooth it down so that Even is covered. That little gesture punches a hole in my soul. It’s so small, and like, it’s not even gonna work with the way that comforter is positioned, but he has to do this one tiny thing, anything to make Even more comfortable. It’s so nurturing and attentive.

Then we black out again and when we come back, Isak has used himself to cover the exposed part of Even’s back where the comforter won’t rest. He’s spooning Even to keep him warm. One of my favorite images. One of the smallest gestures and one of the most meaningful.

We get Isak lying on his back looking at Even and holding his phone to his chest as the song ends. He’s clearly considering contacting someone, and soon Isak texts Sonja. He’s very polite, considering where they left off in the hotel clip. He’s being responsible, knowing that Even’s parents might be worried about him, especially since Even is depressed - I mean, who knows what Even was doing or what happened earlier in the week? I hope that Even didn’t also leave his parents suicide notes or anything - I doubt it, honestly. I think if he had, they’d be a lot more frantic, Sonja would know and would be calling Isak.

Isak also apologizes and says that he’s sorry if Even isn’t well because of him. First of all, ouch that Isak would even think this? I know why he would, Sonja implied as much, that Isak was making Even’s condition worse, and Even’s text message suggests that some of this sadness is related to Isak even if it’s not necessarily Isak’s fault, if you get me. It stings. But also - consider reading that from Sonja’s POV. I think now that she’s had time to cool down from the hotel incident, she might realize that her words to Isak were harsher than necessary. And possibly she’s realized since then that Even really does love Isak. She’s had time to think about it or observe Even this week and realize that it’s not just mania causing those feelings. So reading that, she might understand that she should apologize to Isak.

Look how small Even looks in bed, by the way. This whole scene is such a turnaround from the charming, confident Norwegian James Dean we have seen previously in the season, the guy that got Isak’s (and our) attention in the first place. We’ve gotten glimpses of Even’s more vulnerable side, but nothing compared to what we see here and in O Helga Natt.

After sending the text, Isak just lies there with the phone on his chest, as if he wants it to be there at a moment’s notice in case he hears back from her. When the phone starts to ring, Isak gets out of bed. Again, the only time the camera leaves the closeup of the two of them in bed is when an outsider bursts the Evak bubble. (Also, Isak goes into the hall doesn’t shut the bedroom door; it’s like he wants to be aware of Even at all times and be there for him the moment he starts to wake up.)

The acting between Tarjei and Theresa on the phone is really good. I don’t know if how they recorded this conversation, if Julie had them act off each other or if they recorded separately, but I think they nailed the tone of it, especially at the beginning. This is an awkward conversation, but not an angry one. Isak is talking to someone who lashed out at him. Sonja is talking to someone she lashed out at, and is regretting it. They didn’t end on a good note last time. Plus, you know, Even dumped Sonja for Isak. Still that factor. Automatic awkward.

Just a note: Theresa had a tough role this season. For much of it she was playing the obstacle, the person you yell at to go away when she shows up in episode 2 and interrupts the developing Evak relationship (well, maybe not you personally, but I’ve seen my fair share of Skam reactions on YouTube). We don’t know much about Sonja, Even paints her in a negative light, she’s not the one we’re rooting for. So in a lot of ways, that was a pretty thankless task. However, I think she did a good job with the material she was given, and in this last scene of hers manages to give her character a lot of humanity. 

Listen to that awkward “hi” from both of them. Sonja sounds tired or resigned. She explains that Even sent his parents a text message. So she’s in touch with his parents. I wonder if Even disappeared Friday night (or earlier that day) and it got them worried, so they were already texting about it. Because otherwise I’m not sure how Sonja would know so quickly that Even sent his parents a text. Maybe if Even texted her and said don’t worry, I let my parents know where I am. (There’s just a ton that I want to know about this relationship between Even and Sonja - I don’t ship it in the slightest, and obviously it’s a mess in its current state, but it’s so important to Even’s backstory and his state of mind going into this season that I’d love a further peek at it.)

Now with the issue of the text message out of the way, that actually should be the end of the conversation, no? The technical business is sorted out. They could just ignore the emotional bits. But Sonja says she called to apologize for last time. Isak sounds genuinely surprised about this. I really think he didn’t harbor any resentment toward her at all? In fact, I don’t recall Isak blaming Sonja for anything during this season. At most he’s sad when she’s with Even, and I guess he might resent her as someone who has what he can’t, but it’s not like he hates her personally. And he didn’t seem upset that she said what she did because of her. 

But he says it’s fine so quickly. She says she didn’t mean to get angry with him, that it wasn’t his fault at all, and he says he understands that she was just worried. See, this is why I like Isak. Despite his rough demeanor, he listens to people. He has empathy.

And it’s why I like Sonja, too, despite her being a minor character and despite her flaws. She got that she took out her feelings in the heat of the moment on Isak. Even though Isak did wrong her by cheating with Even (and I mean, that’s mostly on Even but I’m of the opinion that if you hook up with someone you know has a significant other, you are doing wrong by that other person, you shouldn’t do that to someone) she still apologized for the part where she had faltered.

Sonja is just kind of like, Mm, after Isak says that he understands she was worried. I think this is a tough conversation, obviously. She probably doesn’t really want to do it for various reasons - it’s not fun to apologize, especially over something so delicate, and she’s talking to her ex boyfriend’s new boyfriend, the person he chose over her. But she makes a point of saying it’s not Isak’s fault Even is depressed, as Isak suggested in his text. He’s bipolar. She really sounds resigned, in my opinion. She has dealt with Even’s bipolar disorder for a while, she has taken care of him, for better or worse. But she wasn’t able to fix him, and now she’s having to let him go. Still, this is kindness from her. She’s not letting Isak blame himself for something she knows isn’t accurate.

I think Sonja really wants to get off the phone at this point, since it’s probably really hard for her on multiple levels, but Isak asks her if he should get Even to his parents. Right now, through this episode, he’s thinking about what’s best for Even. He’s not going to force Even to do what Isak thinks is best for him, but he’s still got that in mind. 

I don’t know exactly when Isak made the connection between his comment about not wanting to be around mentally ill people and Even then breaking things off with him and later hiding that he was bipolar from Isak - I’m sure he figured it out. But I think Isak is also keeping that moment in mind this episode. I think he realized he had been shitty about that, and he’s trying to make up for it. He has to prove that he’s staying by Even’s side and that he was wrong, he’s not better without mentally ill people in his life.

Sonja says that she thinks it’s best for Even to be with Isak. You know … think about the implications of that statement. A week ago she was telling Isak to stay away. I wonder if in the week that’s followed, she’s seen Even, possibly when he was very depressed, and realized Even really did love Isak and want to be with him. I wonder if she’s thought about Even’s behavior when he was with Isak. I wonder if she’s reconsidered not just Even and Isak’s relationship, now that she’s not stressed and worried in a moment of crisis, but Isak as well. I mean, here Isak is contacting her and telling her about Even’s whereabouts. He’s being responsible, and he’s looking out for Even. He’s not just this irresponsible kid who’s making Even smoke weed or who’s so helpless and ignorant she has to come fix things. Isak might have more potential than she realized. And I think she also sees that she’s not the only one who can support Even, that she has to let go of him, and Even should be with the person he really wants to be with.

Isak smiles a little after she says that. It’s just a brief statement from her but he knows that there’s a ton of meaning behind that, considering what she told him last time - she’s changed her mind. How good it must feel for him to hear that from Sonja, Even’s long-term girlfriend, that it’s good for Even to be with Isak. His reaction is a mixture of pride and happiness, maybe. It’s implicit approval of their relationship, implicit acceptance that Even has moved on from Sonja and is now with Isak. That it’s real between Even and Isak and not just a sick idea in his head.

By now Sonja really wants to get off the phone, lmao, but Isak still isn’t done. He asks whether there’s anything he can do for Even. When Sonja says, “Not really,” it makes me sad for her? Like I can tell behind that statement, there’s someone who really loved/loves Even and watched him go through hell and deal with depression, and has realized by now that you can’t just snap him out of it. She’s sad that there’s not more she or anyone can do for him. It makes you think about her actions - and I’m not justifying her being controlling or trying to tell Even how he feels, but you have to wonder if she hoped she could just snap him out of his worst periods. If she wishes she could have done more but realizes she couldn’t. Man, I find Sonja so interesting despite being having such a small amount of screen time!

“You just have to be there for him.”

Sonja gives some of the best advice in the series. She’s been there with Even in the bad times. When everything seems hopeless, just take it one day at a time. Then an hour, then a minute. That says so much about how hard it can get, that sometimes even an hour is too much to bear, you have to go down to just a minute. Like both she and Even went through this, it seemed hopeless for both of them, Even in his depression and Sonja watching him be depressed. That advice is simple but so powerful. It’s so hopeful and such a good way of approaching pain and depression. It’s good advice for anyone struggling, really, not just people who are bipolar or depressed.

As some who has been depressed and who has dealt with a lot of other mental illness BS ... this is one of the most helpful pieces of advice I’ve ever gotten from media. Something that happens when you deal with depression is that suddenly everything becomes magnified in a bad way, and set in stone in a hopeless way. It’s not just that things are bad today, it’s that they will never get better. It’s not just that you messed up this one thing, it’s that you’ve destroy everything in your whole life and you’re going to continue to ruin the rest of it. Your brain traps you in this endless cycle of your past mistakes and your current mistakes and that propels you into your future mistakes, until everything seems bleak. Taking things minute by minute is a way to approach life and its struggles in a more manageable way, it helps to remember that when everything seems too big.

In my last post about episode 9, I included a draft of a post that I wrote about O Helga Natt back in 2016. I also found one that I wrote in either late 2016/early 2017, that referred to this clip.

i’ve been really depressed lately - for no reason, just because that’s how my brain works - and i want to thank the Norwegian teenies for coming along at just the right time, because the way Skam depicted mental illness and especially Even’s depressive episode in the last two episodes actually helped me and I can’t think of the last time a work of fiction gave me some good life advice that genuinely made me feel better

i’m not sure if this was the intended wisdom but not only did “minutt by minutt” help, just the depiction of a depressed character having a string of shitty days and this being … kind of a normal thing - that helped. not that you should be tolerating depression as just a thing you’ll get through, don’t seek treatment for it, bootstraps etc. but in the sense that yeah, sometimes you have bad periods with depression, some days hit you harder than others. but getting to hear about Isak and the flat taking care of Even and Sonja’s being kind of matter-of-fact about it … honestly, that gave me the ability to look at my own bad days as something that i can handle.

the day after Christmas, I didn’t want to get out of bed, I was so tired and empty and I couldn’t even focus on watching Netflix or whatever. but instead of getting lost in my own negative thoughts, I was able to process it as, “OK, this is not going to be a good day. Instead of trying to punish yourself for not feeling good, just accept that this isn’t going to be a good day, and that’s fine. You don’t have to feel like you wasted a day. You can get through this and start again tomorrow.” and that was specifically due to what happened in episode 10. So I want to thank this show for making me feel a little better.

The music starts again over Sonja’s speech, as Isak watches over Even sleeping again. Keeping a vigil, keeping the lanterns lit.

Even stirs and finally wakes up. He takes a moment to take in his surroundings and remember that, oh yeah, he’s with Isak at his place. He seems like he finds it hard to look at Isak and quickly averts his gaze and looks at the ceiling, the wall, not at Isak. Probably because he still can’t believe he’s here, with Isak, and probably because of what he says to him in a moment - he’s convinced he will hurt Isak, he thinks he doesn’t deserve to have Isak here with him.

I know that the thing with Even’s eyes fluttering was apparently just Henrik’s random reflex, lmao, but it’s very effective and makes him seem like he’s struggling to keep them open. He just seems so tired. His normally energetic, charismatic self has been completely drained. We’ve never seen him like this, not even the hints in like the cuddle scene were this strong. Henrik turned off all the light inside of him. He’s staring at nothing.

Not to get super personal again, but his performance in this scene felt so familiar that I got a pain in my gut. I have been in Even’s shoes, I recognize some of how this goes, how you hardly have the strength to muster up speech, or you react more slowly to certain things. He does such an excellent job here. Now that we’ve seen the bloopers, too, working out the positions on the bed for this scene, it seems like he was trying very hard to stay in Even’s mindset throughout, which must have been rough.

Isak asks if Even is hungry. Even doesn’t even reply to that. He takes time to answer, like it’s harder to focus or collect his thoughts. Like he’s drifting. He does ask Isak what time it is after a moment.

Even says, very quietly, that he should go. Because he doesn’t want Isak to lie there and feel like he has to look after him. Even, baby, no. It’s not a burden for Isak to be with you. You aren’t a burden. That says so much about how he feels about himself, that he’s a burden, an obligation, something for people to take care of. He’s preventing Isak from doing other things. Again, this is such an accurate depiction of depression. During this scene I got chills because it was so close to my experience, the fatigue, the guilt. The sense of resigned certainty that things were never going to get better. The emptiness.

Isak says he doesn’t feel like he’s looking after Even. He’s doing this because he loves Even and wants him to be okay, not because he feels like he has to. But also, why is it wrong for Isak to look after Even? It’s so natural for Isak to want to do so because he loves Even and wants to be a part of his life.

Even says there’s nothing wrong with it, but that he doesn’t want Isak to lie there and feel sad. Basically, he doesn’t want to bring people down with him. Evennnnn. Noooooo.

Isak says he’s not sad, quietly. Kinda like how Even said he wasn’t sad in the locker room scene, except in very different contexts. Isak has to do a lot more work to reassure Even here. Isak seems surprised that Even would even think he was sad. Like Isak knows he loves Even, of course he would be here.

Even takes forever to reply. He lets out a heavy sigh. So much sighing, as if it’s a struggle. It’s so quiet you can hear him swallowing.

“I just know that this isn’t gonna work.” This resonates so much. That feeling that you know it’s going to end. You just know. Depression brings about such seeming clarity, like you don’t doubt that everything is hopeless, you feel it in your bones. But damn, Even is thinking that it won’t work out because of him. He already hurt Isak. He wants it to work, he loves Isak, but he thinks it won’t.

Isak doesn’t get too upset, vocally, but you can tell he’s appalled and horrified by this idea. Why on earth would Even say that? That’s the last thing Isak wants to consider.

“Because it’s true.” Again, that certainty. Even says he’ll hurt Isak and then Isak will hate him. Even’s insecurities and vulnerabilities are so painful! He doesn’t want to hurt Isak, it’s something he fears. And he doesn’t want Isak to hate him, because to be hated by someone he loves so much is awful. Like, it’s better in his mind just to cut Isak loose to go find a happy life than to stick around long enough for Isak to resent him (“the only way to have something forever is to lose it”).

Also something that’s accurate to depression - how easy it is to disregard people telling you that you’re not worthless, how easy it is to forget that people love you and care about you. Isak just ran to Even last night and hugged him and kissed him and made his love abundantly clear, but Even is probably already filing that away as, well, Isak won’t feel that way for long, Isak will just be sad, it’s not worth it.

And then - this incredible moment.

After a long pause, in which Isak lies there considering Even, staring at him, working out what Even is saying - Isak just says, “No.” Just no. So forcefully and with such certainty that I want to hug him. Even goes from staring at the ceiling to looking at Isak. He’s taken aback. Maybe he thought Isak might come back at him with more soft words and assurances, but I don’t think he was expecting for Isak to call bullshit.

What I love, love, LOVE about Isak’s dialogue here is that it’s not like … flowery or romantic. It’s not a big speech. “I love you, Even, I’ll always be here for you, we’re soulmates,” etc. All the cliches of a dramatic TV speech. This dialogue is instead so distinctly Isak that it’s brilliant. It’s a 17-year-old boy, who’s often blunt and unsentimental, putting his feelings into words that are equally blunt and unsentimental. In a lot of TV shows, these big romantic speeches are generic and interchangeable, they sound the same across canons, within canons, everywhere. They’re trying to be epic, but they all sound alike because they come back to the same general grandiose concepts. But this speech? You could not mistake this speech coming from any other character but Isak. It’s so specific to Isak and to Isak/Even.

Isak just directly shuts down all of Even’s catastrophic thinking, his negative outcomes. You don’t know shit about how this is going to end! Well, he’s right? Depression makes you certain of hopelessness, and Isak doesn’t sugarcoat it, he cuts right through the cloudy haze and says, nah, you don’t know that.

In Tarjei’s delivery is a touch of fear, like he really wants Even to understand, but in this moment he’s afraid Even will pull away again and he’ll lose him once more, and that’s coming through. Isak isn’t certain of anything. But there’s also this fierceness and determination, this strength, and that’s what truly makes the moment. 

Isak says that maybe a nuke will get dropped on them tomorrow, and this is a waste of time to discuss. Again - he’s right! It’s not a bad thing to discuss long-term dynamics of relationships, of course. But Even’s depressive speculation is pointless. You can never predict what’ll happen. This time they spend debating whether Even will hurt Isak - not worth it. It’s time they could spend together, enjoying the moment.

Even is so taken aback, struck by Isak’s blunt descriptions and his certainty. Like Isak is not pulling away, he’s not letting Even go. He’s just telling Even how it’s gonna be.

“So I suggest you stop talking about the future and then the two of us will take this thing completely chill.” God. GOD. I love it. You know what? Previously this season, we’ve had so many comments about time and forever - Can I stay in here with you forever? and You’re the man of my life and Even asking how many Isaks and Evens are lying in bed right now and Isak answering infinitely many, in infinite time. Big, sweeping statements about long periods of time. And those are all wonderful and beautiful and romantic. But there’s a lot of underlying pressure in them. You gotta get everything perfect, you gotta be constantly thinking about the long run, everything needs to be epic and big. And in this episode, we whittle down those long overwhelming periods of time, the future, infinity, forever, to the short term. Minute by minute. Now. Living in the present. Not putting these huge standards or expectations on oneself, both good and bad. Which is probably the healthiest approach when you’re teenagers in a relationship.

And Isak is again saying, I’m not letting you push me away, I’m not going to let you overthink this and pull back, I’m not going to let you think you’re a monster. We’re just going to hang in here together.

Even is stunned by this, he keeps running his eyes over Isak’s face as if in disbelief. What is even happening? He didn’t expect this.

And here we get one of the most romantic exchanges I have heard in my life. While Even is processing what Isak said, Isak goes on to say, “Let’s play a game. It’s called Isak and Even, minutt for minutt.”

He puts his hand on Even’s cheek. A little awkwardly, like he’s still figuring this out. Like he isn’t entirely certain of what he’s doing or if this is going to work, but he has to try, anyway. Even has initiated a lot of the physical contact in the start of their relationship, but here’s Isak initiating, taking charge. He wants Even to feel the touch and understand Isak is here and he’s not going anywhere. He’s not sure of everything, but he’s determined.

“The only thing we need to worry about is the next minute.” Essentially putting Even’s fears at rest, saying, don’t worry about your worst nightmares coming true. We’re going to get through this together, one minute at a time. 

Isak strokes the hair behind Even’s ear. Even whispers, “OK,” like he can hardly talk, he hardly has the energy. But he’s listening to what Isak is saying. He’s not sure this will work, either, but he’s willing to try.

“What are we going to do this minute?” / “This minute we’ll kiss.” End me. One of the most romantic exchanges ever. So simple! So reassuring! Even being so tentative, like maybe he’s thinking this just might work! Isak not putting a ton of pressure on Even, proposing just a kiss! Something small and easy that they can feel and understand!

And oh boy, isn’t Even’s reaction gorgeous? The pause and then the smallest smile, the first hint of a smile from him in this clip. Even’s smile is one of the most striking features about him and not seeing makes us thirsty for it. But he gives the tiniest smile, a sign that he’s on board, and says that’s chill. Isak says that’s chill. It’s chill, it doesn’t need to be anything else.

They kiss. Isak gets in a nose rub at first. He clutches the side of Even’s face, placing himself there. Even is bundled up in blankets and Isak is firmly planting his hand on Even.

We cut from the beginning of the kiss to the end, as the minute passes - Even looks so vulnerable kissing, like it’s still a lot of energy for him? His hand is clutching the blanket like he needs it around him. When he pulls away, it’s like he’s ready to go back to sleep. But even after Even pulls back from the kiss, Isak keeps stroking Even’s face and hair, and he gives a slow and steady nose rub. Again, it’s their grounding technique, it’s a reassurance that Isak is there for him.

The pacing of this scene is so good. I love the quiet, the pauses. This is just unhurried film-making, not afraid to take its time. Everything about this scene makes me calm. It’s like taking a deep breath of cool morning air.

As an aside, for almost two years the background on my phone has been Isak snuggled up to Even as he sleeps. Helps to have a reminder to take things one minute at a time.

Clip 2 - Fluffy Isak living his best life

This scene is a direct parallel and contrast to the one in episode 3, where Vilde goes up to Isak at the lockers and asks him about hosting a party, and then afterwards Isak sees Emma and goes up to her. In that scene in episode 3, Isak absolutely does not want to host the party and he’s making up excuses not to, including blaming his flatmates. Here he readily and warmly agrees to host. In the episode 3 scene, he goes up to Emma to make amends and spews a lot of fake flirting, with his fake hetero persona. Here he goes up to her and repeats the same line of calling himself an asshole to make amends, but he’s being honest with her. He’s not flirting, he’s just extending an olive branch.

Isak walks into school on his phone, talking to Eskild. He tells Eskild to let Even sleep. Eskild wonders if he should wake up Even. Isak tells him he asked him to keep an eye on Even because he’s depressed, not watch over him like a baby. CHEERS, ISAK 🙌 This is exactly right. Because Even is depressed (and had just sent Isak a suicide note), I don’t think it’s a great idea for him to be completely alone, especially when that’s one of his fears/anxieties. I mean, we’re trying to show Even that he isn’t alone. But Even is depressed, not helpless, and it would be wrong to smother him. He needs his agency. Isak is completely accurate, don’t treat Even like a baby. Isak may not be perfect, but he’s getting so much better in his understanding of mental illness.

Also, we’re trying to show how Isak has learned from Sonja’s mistakes or how Even didn’t like Sonja’s treatment of him, and I think part of that is giving Even space and not hovering or interfering too much.

Eskild leaves because he thinks Even woke up. Isak looks at his phone like, lmao, that’s Eskild being Eskild for you! I think Eskild can’t help but go into nurturing mode, he wants to take care of people. (You know, fandom talks a lot about Isak and Even as parents, but imagine Eskild as a parent? IDK if he’d ever have kids of his own or if he’d have a bunch of unofficial nieces and nephews, or if he’d just consider all the wayward teenagers he “adopts” to be his children, but Eskild would be such a helicopter parent.)

Also, in Isak’s locker of character development - he just opens his locker without any problems. He’s not even thinking about it, he’s just talking with Eskild on the phone. It’s no longer a problem. It’s not stuck, nothing’s spilling out. It’s not giving Isak grief.

What a beautiful and subtle way to indicate that Isak is now comfortably out of the closet. What a great payoff for something that might seem like a running gag but is actually insight into the main character’s mindset.

Isak looks fluffy as hell in this scene. You know how worn down he looks in episode 6? Here he’s radiating good health and happiness.

Vilde shows up. God, I love Isak and Vilde’s interaction, as messy as it may sometimes be. She asks if Isak saw the message she posted to kosegruppa, and Isak starts to laugh to himself, because out of all the drama of his life, all the shit that’s been happening the last few weeks, kosegruppa is still a thing, and he completely forgot about it. I don’t think we’ve heard about kosegruppa since episode 3 with the neon party? It was basically just a setup for Isak and Even to meet and interact. Which is perfectly fine! But it’s great that they brought it full circle and acknowledged it again, like this is kind of meta with Isak acknowledging that he forgot about kosegruppa, much like the audience had. (If only we had seen kosegruppa antics after this …. I wanted to see the squads baking together and spreading that cozy feeling!)

Vilde wants to know why Isak is laughing. Isak says he almost forgot kosegruppa existed. Vilde is aghast, practically. She asks whether Isak isn’t going to quit now. You can’t just join for the parties and skimp on the actual work for the revue!

And here’s one of my favorite Isak moments, a super underrated one. Isak takes a moment from clearly forgetting about kosegruppa to being like “Of course I’m still in kosegruppa! Who do you think I am?” It makes me smile SO much, because we saw Isak be grumpy and unimpressed with kosegruppa before, and give Vilde looks of boredom or irritation when she talked about it, but here fluffy Isak is humoring her and being nice. He’s making her happy, and the fact that she clearly is happy by what he says makes my heart so warm.

Vilde asks if they could host the kosegruppa Christmas party at Isak’s place, and after a short pause, Isak quickly agrees. Vilde is clearly surprised by this, asks if it’s OK with his flatmates, and Isak says he’s sure it’s fine. He’s so warm when he says this and he’s smiling at her, it’s beautiful. Like this is some Scrooge-level transformation.

I think Isak is in such a good place emotionally right now that he can’t help but extend it to other people. He’s got Even back and while things aren’t perfect, they’re taking this thing one minute at a time and there’s hope for the future. Additionally, he’s out of the closet and no longing live a fake heterosexual life. His friends accept him and he can be honest with them. He’s out to his parents and they’re fine with him, and it seems like his relationship with his mom can be salvaged. Basically every single thing, for the most part, that was causing Isak anxiety earlier in the season has now been solved. And because Isak is glowing inside, he’s willing to extend the kindness to others.

When Vilde leaves, Isak retrieves his book from his locker. Then he seems Emma down the hallway. With a little trepidation, he goes up to her. He greets her and the trepidation is mutual. Emma is awkward, too. You have to wonder what she’s thinking. Honestly, I think at this point, she does realize that she messed up? Or that it was her talking about Isak that got the rumors going and outed him to the school, and that it was wrong. Maybe that’s just me wanting to give her the benefit of the doubt that Emma regrets what she did, but Ruby plays it like she’s unsure, not like she’s still angry at Isak or annoyed by him.

I think the vibe between them in this scene is supposed to be that they both made mistakes and hurt each other. And I mean, that is true! Isak did hurt Emma by leading her on. It’s just that Emma ultimately did something I think was a lot worse - like, she would have gotten over that guy she made out with twice turning out to be gay and leading her on. Isak might not have gotten over being outed, it could have really damaged aspects of his life.

So it’s awkward, and Isak then brings up the inside joke of sorts from before, referencing “the asshole” who’s hosting the Christmas party and inviting her along, because he thinks that would be nice. Here he’s not inviting her because he plans to hook up with her, and they both know that. It’s a gesture of kindness. Let’s bury the hatchet.

Emma says she switched to the PR group, but that he should tell the asshole she’s glad he asked. She’s smiling and seems genuinely happy. Isak says the asshole will appreciate that. They say goodbye, clearly in a good mood, pleased about the interaction.

Well, in a lot of ways this outcome is pretty good? I think it’s for the best that Emma switched groups - she was only in kosegruppa to chase Isak, and switching will give her some distance from the experience and help her move on from whatever remaining hurt she feels. And I think that this is about the nicest resolution you could hope for, in a way - I don’t think Isak and Emma are going to become good friends, they don’t have a ton in common personally and they did hurt each other. I think it’s actually good she won’t be at the party (where she’ll be witnessing Isak and Even making out under the mistletoe, lmao) and she’ll get some space. But they’ve made peace and can be on good terms as casual acquaintances. Isak no longer has to run away when he sees Emma in the hallway, they can just smile and nod and acknowledge each other politely. Isak doesn’t have to pretend to be into her, either. He’s done with that part of his life.

But, if I’m gonna tweak this scene - because the Emma/outing plot is the only one that I had any substantial nitpicks for this season - I would make Emma more obviously realize or acknowledge that she had done something really bad in outing Isak. It would be nice if she apologized for it directly. But within the tone of this scene, you could even play it as her going along with Isak’s “the asshole” joke, maybe with her saying something like, “Well, there’s this asshole first year who feels really bad about opening her big mouth and she’s happy that the other asshole invited her.” You know, something self-deprecating like that. I would be fine with that? Just so it was clear she knows she messed up. I think it stands out because Sonja apologized for something wrong she had done, and Isak is apologizing for something wrong he had done, so Emma not apologizing kinda feels a little unfinished, like, hey, she did do something pretty bad, whether it was intentional or not.

I have no problem with Isak extending the olive branch and inviting Emma, for what it’s worth. He’s in a good place, he wants to make amends with people. I think he’s in such a good place that he wants to get rid of any animosity or more toxic relationships or beefs he has with people. Mostly, I wish we got more acknowledgment that Emma messed up, too, so it’s not all on Isak.

I’d also be fine with someone other than Isak stating more directly that being outed was a bad thing. I think they did a fine job of showing how Isak was affected negatively by it, and normally I prefer show don’t tell, but because Emma doesn’t directly apologize for it, I think it’d be worth it to do some ‘telling” if Emma herself doesn’t. IDK, someone like Even or Jonas not being ok with it, even if Isak is. (Although, lol, we know what eventually happened with Jonas and Emma...)

Ruby Dagnall really is a cutie and a talented actress, I feel bad that she plays one of the least popular, most disliked Skam characters. At least Sonja got some redemption and comes across much better in the whole series.

Still, this scene does provide some relief for Isak, that he’s put to rest one of the other problems he’s had recently. I’m sure he feels like there’s another weight off his back. 

Clip 3 - I saw you the first day of school

This delightful and intimate and tender scene!!!!

Isak does a meme-worthy appearance as he creeps into his own doorway to see Even and Linn playing FIFA. He’s so funny because he almost appears suspicious, like he expects to see Even and Linn cooking meth instead of playing video games. Or I guess because Even has been depressed and Linn is always depressed, that it’s very unusual to see them playing games with so much vigor.

Isak also gets this little smile, like he’s so relieved and happy that Even has come out of his depressive episode a bit. And because it���s just a charming moment to come across.

I love Linn getting so into the game, too, since we rarely see her that hyped. She is taking it very very seriously.

We all gotta appreciate Even’s “Hall-AAA” when Isak greets him. How can you pack so much charisma into a simple word?

Linn is just like, good, you’re home, I’m exhausted. Which kinda indicates that she had “Even duty” since there’s no other reason she needs to get up and leave that second. Unless she thinks the Evak make-outs are going to commence. Which they are.

Even says, “Sore loser?” and Linn is like, “I’m going to bed,” because of course she is. Even is so charming when he says that, though, like you really get how everyone just immediately falls in love with this guy, he’s so warm and open and he can tease someone like Linn who isn’t necessarily the most receptive person.

Even says it was good to hang out with Linn. I agree! We only get this one moment between them, but it’s a nice little detail. They both deal with depression and I don’t know if they have big talks about it or whatever, but they probably both get it, understand that part of each other, and it’s nice that we can see them hanging out. I bet it’s low stress to hang with Linn, too, like I adore Eskild but he’s going to want to be in Even’s face pushing him to do stuff. Linn is more chill.

I would have loved to see more clips of kosegruppa taking care of Even. I adore the texts, they say so much, but imagine watching Eskild taking care of Even and making him play board games? Noora bringing Even some tea? It really warms my heart how everyone decided to help Even, who’s essentially a stranger, because they were there for Isak. Well, OK, I think everyone is in love with Even, it’s hard not to be, so they came together to support him, too.

It is SUCH a relief to see Even smile at this point. Even’s smile is one of the most beautiful things about him and we were dying to see it again after watching him be so down, so when you see Even give Isak that genuine smile, it’s wonderful. And the glare from the TV is like reflecting off his eyes making him look even more magical, lol.

He also looks so fluffy in Isak’s hoodie. I think it’s a touch too small for him? But like Even cares, he’s wearing Isak’s clothes and that’s all that matters.

Isak kisses Even hello and we don’t really see it, but we sure hear it, with this loud smack and like this fond little hum from Isak, like he’s a contented cat. Kissing Even is just that enjoyable.

There’s a post that was like “Isak and Even do this thing where they greet each other in front of others and then when they’re alone they greet each other again, just for each other” and it makes my heart melt.

They fall back onto the bed and actually, that little detail is so sweet, too? They’re just getting comfortable, ready to talk about their days, catch up with each other.

L m a o, Isak adjusts his snapback when he lies down rather than just taking it off. Okay, kid.

Isak asks Even what’s up. I think Henrik does some excellent acting in this scene. I mean they both do, Tarjei’s always great, but Even is coming out of his depressive episode and he does some stuff here that’s not always vocalized. But here for instance, you can see Even’s question starting to form before he asks it. That touch of tongue to the teeth. That amusement in his eyes. And then his delivery which is like, a-ha, I caught you, but not accusatory or upset, he’s just amused. 

He asks Isak whether he asked all his flatmates to look after him. Even is not dumb, he realizes what happened with Isak’s roommates all swooping in to check on him, how he’s never alone in the flat. Someone’s always there. But I don’t think he’s upset about it, like he might be with Sonja. I mean … to be fair, Even did write Isak a goodbye text/suicide note a few days ago. And Isak has instructed Eskild at least not to hover and treat Even like a baby, so they’ve probably been getting along fine.

Isak is like, what? No. Even raises his magnificent eyebrows (not Jonas level, but Even can do some damn great things with them) and calls Isak out on being a bad liar. Actually I think Tarjei does some subtle but great acting with “Isak trying to lie.” He wasn’t comically obvious but he managed to convey that “yeah, I’m being too casual about too be truthful” vibe.

Isak and Even both laugh about Isak being a bad liar so you can tell neither of them is upset by this, it’s just a funny thing. Isak is like, no way I’m a bad liar. I’m the fucking master liar, there’s no one who’s a better liar than me! Which in itself is a GIANT FUCKING LIE, Isak, you are a terrible liar. Lying a lot is not the same thing as lying well. (Seriously, Isak almost always gets caught in his lies, or he ends up just fumbling for what to say.)

Also, how funny is it that Isak is again like, oh, you say I’m not good at this thing? Actually I am the BEST at this thing, I am the master of this specific thing Just like him being the master of holding his breath underwater. This kid has such a weird competitive streak and it’s all talk, he just can’t let an insult to his skills go without refuting it in an over-the-top way.

Isak: You have no idea what I’ve gotten away with! Even: Like what? Isak: No, you don’t want know. Which is funny on its own but also funnier if you’re keeping in mind Isak’s S1 shenanigans, of course. Which he did NOT get away with.

Anyway Even is charmed by all of this, his face lights up with laughter and a big smile. In return, Isak is charmed by Even’s happy self, as we all are, for Even is human sunshine. Isak touches Even’s face - Even dips his head so his lip catches Isak’s thumb, and that’s one of those small gestures that makes their chemistry so incredibly fucking good? Did Julie instruct that, or did Henrik react to Tarjei’s touch like that? I can’t tell. I could easily believe it was improv. But that kind of instinctive reaction, not just lying there as Isak touches him but reacting back, moving into it - that is why the Evak chemistry is unparalleled. They keep feeding off each other’s actions and energy, they want to be touching, they are 110% keyed into each other.

“I like seeing you laugh.” DON’T WE ALL.

No really, that’s got to be such a relief for Isak, that Even is laughing and smiling again. There’s the hope, there’s the light at the end of the tunnel. And I think Even can’t help but be amazed that Isak is still here. Isak stood by him through the worst period, and he’s here now touching Even and telling him what he likes about him.

Even’s gaze softens just a little again, like he’s not just brightly burning here with amusement, he’s already getting more fond and mesmerized by Isak. Good job, Henrik.

Isak’s phone is buzzing. He checks it and lets out a sigh of exasperation, telling Even that Vilde nags him so damn much about kosegruppa. Even, too, has forgotten about kosegruppa. Isak tells him what he learned from the previous clip, that Vilde is worried people only joined for the revue parties.

And here’s the bombshell: Isak is amused relating this detail to Even, but Even becomes thoughtful and serious when he says he was only there to meet Isak. I mean, HOLY SHIT. He drops it like it’s just this fact he has no qualms about sharing. In fact, he might even be surprised that Isak DIDN’T realize this by now.

Isak is of course, completely stunned. Wait, what? They are having this lighthearted conversation and laughing and then Even drops this rather big bit of information?

Even: “Did you think I was there to have fun?” I mean, I don’t know, dude, you’re kinda weird and artsy, so maybe it was your scene? Maybe you wanted some buns? (Well, he did want buns. Isak’s buns, baby. 😎)

Isak laughs a little, but he’s still completely flabbergasted by this bit of information. He asks Even if Even saw him before the first kosegruppa meeting. (And I mean, we know Even did, because Isak and him made eye contact in the cafeteria. What Isak means is, did you see me and check me out before kosegruppa?)

“I saw you the first day of school.” BOMBSHELL. CHANGES THE ENTIRE SEASON. Well, maybe not the entire season, but it absolutely re-frames Even’s behavior in the first few episodes and even throughout the later episodes.

Now while watching this season in real time, I figured Even was pining for Isak from the beginning, more or less, from episode 1. Like I really didn’t doubt that Even had real feelings for Isak, I never thought he was playing with Isak or messing around with him for fun. I never thought he was going to turn on Isak or lead him into a hate crime as some of the more bizarre theories suggested. And I had a heavy suspicion that Even went to the kosegruppa meeting to meet Isak. But what I figured was - Even saw this really cute boy in the cafeteria on Monday, they made eye contact, that one group of girls talked to both Even and Isak about their revue group, so hey, might as well be worth it to check out if the cute guy went to the meeting! So it seemed like a relatively short and straightforward timeline where Even spotted Isak for the first time and decided to go after him. But I had a few questions, such as: did Even really think Isak was going to show up? That’s a hell of a chance to take. I mean, the risk factor is pretty minimal, Isak wouldn’t be there and Even would just have to sit through this meeting and eat some bread and participate in some awkward group exercises until he could escape. But still - how confident was he that Isak would be there?

And Even having his eye on Isak from the beginning of the school year makes a lot of sense and helps explain why Even would take that chance! First of all, because he would have had plenty of time to learn Isak’s name from the first day of school, and therefore he could scope the signup sheet for it, because I bet Vilde or Sana put Isak on a list. That’s apparently how Emma found out Isak was going to kosegruppa, after all. Second, because if Even had been pining for THAT long, not just a few days, then I absolutely buy him taking a huge gamble like that. Because Even had a crush on Isak for weeks at this point, and kept his distance, until that day in the cafeteria, when he caught Isak looking back. And I think that was all the incentive he needed to take a chance. That Isak maybe wasn’t just a distant dream, but potentially a reality. Isak might be attracted to him as well. Boom.

Of course Even’s revelation also re-frames a lot of other moments and details, like why Even was there in the cafeteria in the first place (he almost certainly wasn’t sitting near Isak by coincidence, but on purpose so he could check out Isak and maybe get his attention). Why Even entered the meeting and immediately scanned the room to see if Isak was there, and then took a seat near him. It makes all of Even’s affection and actions toward Isak this season so much heavier, because he had wanted him for a while. You look back at their first kiss, for instance, and you realize Even had been waiting for that for months.

Not only that, but consider that this entire season we have been in Isak’s POV. Going through his struggles with him, his anxieties and insecurities and doubts. When Even ran hot and cold, we felt it. When Even ghosted on him, it was like Even ghosted us. So for a good chunk of this season, Isak doubted the depth of Even’s feelings for him - especially after the hotel room, when Sonja said Even’s feelings were fake. And much of the audience doubted with him, making up all kinds of theories about Even toying with Isak or being a bad person or not really into Isak. So after a full season of this uncertainty, we finally learn the truth - not only were Even’s feelings real all along, they were real for much, much longer than any of us suspected. I think a lot of people guessed that Even went to kosegruppa to meet Isak, but NOT that he had been pining for months.

Side note: not to spoil this very popular anime, but Yuri!!! on Ice was airing at the exact same time as season 3 of Skam, and I have to laugh because episode 10 of YoI, like this season, also had the “been into you for way longer than you realized” reveal that changed the entire context of the series and the main relationship. (I just remember fall/winter 2016 as simultaneously the darkest timeline from which there was no escape and some weird fever dream of unexpected gay romance canons as a kind of consolation prize. Like hey, we might as well give you something nice before the world burns.)

Even says the line so sincerely, too. So heartfelt. Just “I saw you the first day of school.” And that’s all we get, until we received the S3 script book where Julie wrote the scene from his POV. But in context of just what we saw on screen - how evocative is that? Doesn’t it really grab your attention? We don’t know where it happened, how it happened, what Isak was doing, any of the nitty-gritty details so we’re free to speculate. But that one line says enough to completely alter our opinion of Even this season.

And Isak is of course, just stunned and touched. He just takes it in and says, “Whoa,” with a soft smile. Not bombarding him with more questions (“tell me everything about that day”) but just soaking in the knowledge. Even saw him and chose him, basically. All this time he was doubting Even’s feelings? Even had it even worse for Isak. Even loves him that much, that Isak caught his eye on the first day of school. Even has liked him for that long. It’s beautiful. Isak is really somebody’s somebody.

And you can see Even smile at Isak, too. They would have laid there looking into each other’s eyes and marveling at how they found each other had Vilde not called again.

Let’s all appreciate Tarjei’s delivery of that UGH, like Isak has a cantankerous old man soul.

Now here’s an interesting detail about the conversation with Vilde: We don’t hear her side of it. Or rather, we don’t hear her voice clearly, as we do in say, Isak’s conversation with his father or with Sonja. And maybe that’s because unlike those conversations, what Vilde is saying is not actually important in itself (though I am sure she would disagree with me, getting that Christmas tree is of utmost importance, how dare you) and it’d be a little bit of a distraction from the main point of the scene between Isak and Even. But it makes the scene different because it’s not completely in Isak’s POV, because Isak would be able to hear Vilde clearly. Actually, it makes the scene seem like it’s from Even’s point of view, not Isak’s. And I’m kind of a stickler for POV but I’m fine with it here, especially in the final episode of the season. Once we’ve sort of wrapped up many of the main character’s problems or issues, it’s OK to start experimenting and diverging a bit more. But anyway, this scene especially seems like we’re really deep in Even’s head, for some reason. 

Anyway, Isak argues with Vilde about the Christmas tree while Even laughs and smiles at Isak, entertained by his grumpy boyfriend. Isak tells Vilde to get the Christmas tree herself (though as we learn through texts, he went to pick it up, because look, Isak may put up a fight with Vilde about it but he ends up doing whatever she asks).

Even asks Isak about the tree once Isak hangs up. Isak explains about the kosegruppa Christmas party on Friday. And oh man, now this is some goooood acting from Henrik. Because so far this scene has been pretty stress free, lots of cute flirting and laughing and looking into each other’s eyes. But once Isak mentions that kosegruppa party he’s hosting, Even immediately gets tense. It’s not over the top obvious, but Henrik does a fantastic job here because his energy just shifts in an instant. His eyes start flicking away from Isak, he squirms a little, his body isn’t still. You can tell he gets this flight or fight response where his instinct is to run away, if not literally, then from this conversation.

This is one of the moments in all of Skam that just resonates with me so strongly. Having depression puts you into so many weird spots like this. You don’t know how to tell people about it, you don’t know how to explain that no, you don’t want to go to the party or the concert or whatever, you don’t have the mental or physical energy for it. Your body and mind are just exhausted. You can barely get out of bed. But - it’s hard to describe that to people. Telling people you have the flu is easy - you have physical symptoms, you aren’t ashamed of it. But how do you explain, especially to non-depressed people, that you just don’t feel like it because of your depression? Or because of your anxiety? Like Even, I have often found myself hedging and making up excuses not to go like this. It’s one of those smaller details that makes me think Skam nailed these final episodes of S3 and the depiction of mental illness.

For Even, he’s still climbing out of the depressive episode, and he’s reeling from the experience itself. How is he going to face people, especially if they know anything about what happened? How is he going to deal with a party, with its potentially overwhelming smells, sounds, and sensations? A lot of people talking and laughing and dancing, music blaring, it’s just … not something where he can relax. It’s something you need energy for.

Isak asks if Even wants to go to the party. Even takes a moment, and he’s still like a deer in headlights, you know his brain is scrambling with how to take care of the situation. Isak waits patiently for an answer, not pushing.

Even starts talking about his mom, using her as an excuse, saying that he talked to her and said he would stop by to eat and stuff, actually he was thinking about staying there for a little while. And you know what? Maybe Even really did speak with his mom. He probably did. But right now he’s latching onto that as a diversion, so he doesn’t have to tell Isak what he’s really feeling - the idea of a party is overwhelming right now. I’m not sure if I want to go. And maybe right now Even is having a rapid descent into depressive thoughts. Like he’s slipping into oh, this is how I’m going to let Isak down, I’m just a burden, I should go away and let him do his own thing, have fun. That’s perhaps a factor, too.

Isak gives Even the time to decide and talk. He does not interrupt him until Even is finished, and then his only response is beautiful. “Just take it one day at a time.” Not putting any pressure on him to answer now more decisively, not putting pressure on him to suck it up and attend the party. Just gives Even their mantra.

I’m not trying to demonize Sonja (especially not in this episode when she’s treated so gracefully) but I have to wonder, going off Even’s reaction to both the news about the party and Isak’s reaction, if maybe this was a common type of argument or debate they had, and if Sonja tended to handle it differently. Like maybe if this were Sonja, she would be encouraging or pressuring Even to attend a party because it would be good for him, or she would be grilling him more about his mindset. If Even didn’t want to attend, time to dig into that, see how he’s doing, ask a bunch of questions. Sonja is the “party planner” who needs to have everything figured out. And that maybe one of the differences between Sonja and Isak is that Sonja, however good her intentions, tended to overwhelm Even with questions, she needed to have everything figured out, whereas Isak’s approach is so much more chill. IDK, this is definitely in the category of speculation, it’s just that the way Even reacts kinda reminds me of someone who’s used to expecting a fight or argument over his attendance at the party, and he’s relieved when Isak doesn’t push him.

Oh, dude. When Isak says to take it one day at a time, and Even lets that sink in and starts to smile - you can see Isak smiling a little, too.

When Even smiles, he’s just so relieved? Relieved that Isak understands. Relieved that Isak isn’t going to call him out on his fib but that he just gets it and doesn’t put any pressure on Even. And Even is so, so happy that he has Isak. Lucky that he’s found him.

At the start of this scene, we have Even calling out Isak on a lie, and Isak saying no, he’s a master liar! We have a discussion about lies and it’s not really that serious because no one’s hurt by the lie in question. Here, in a reversal, we have Even lying, or at least fudging the truth, and Isak doesn’t call him out on it, not directly. He just absorbs Even’s change of mood, the words he’s saying, and makes it clear that there is no pressure on Even, that he meant it when he said they were going to take this thing perfectly chill.

Also, how absolutely excellent is the fact that Isak was able to read Even’s mood and anxiety without Even needing to lay it out in words? That is some serious mutual understanding. A lesser TV show would have the scene go like this:

Isak: Do you want to come to the Christmas party? Even: I’m not sure. I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. Isak: Okay, there’s no pressure to attend. Even: Thanks for understanding, I am so lucky to have you, baby.

And there’s nothing inherently wrong with having so much covered directly in dialogue (and speaking personally, I struggle a lot with that problem when writing - I love writing dialogue, but I always end up with too many lengthy conversations with characters just talking about their feelings. Skam has really influenced me to start working on that and trying to find other ways for characters to communicate that are richer and less obvious.). But I think it is a lot stronger the way it’s depicted in this scene. I mean, this scene is the absolute essence of “show, don’t tell”! The way the scene is portrayed, it allows the actors to really focus their abilities - we can tell what Isak and Even are thinking because Tarjei and Henrik are knocking it out of the park and conveying everything we need to know with their eyes, their bodies, the full extent of their talent, rather than just relying on direct dialogue.

Also, think about what this approach says about Isak, or Evak. Making the realization subtle, relying on the subtext of a scene rather than the text, shows us how Isak has grown. Look at this emotional intelligence, look at the tremendous capacity for empathy he displays here with Even, to be able to read him and be patient and tender and understanding like this. And look how having the message go unsaid in words actually strengthens the depiction of their bond, that they don’t need to spell everything out in words - that they can just read each other that well even when one of them is saying something else. It’s fantastic. This scene puts so many other canon romances to shame.

I suspect that a scene like this stays with you longer than the scene with the direct emotional exposition, too. Because the delivery is more of an imprint, it calls on the viewer to read and interpret more, to pay attention to every nuance of the actors, to pay attention to the subtext. That makes the scene settle into your mind more deeply, causes your brain to spend more time with it, whereas a more straightforward scene with that kind of obvious dialogue and telegraphing of inner feelings will just tell you what you need to know, and your brain can move on.

Anyway. Even looks at Isak and you can tell he thinks that he’s the luckiest person in the word to have Isak. He just glows.(I don’t comment too much on actors’ looks because I don’t care all that much, but Henrik is beautiful in this scene. He looks like a damn angel.) He rolls on his side and gives Isak one careful, meaningful kiss to convey his gratitude and affection. They lie there with their noses brushing, Even smiling a little and sweeping his thumb over Isak’s cheek, both of them looking into each other’s eyes and loving each other. 

Jesus Christ, does Even have the biggest case of heart eyes ever in this scene or what? The amount of warmth and fondness and love pouring from them is just breathtaking. If you had a GIF of Even smiling and looking into Isak’s eyes in this clip, it’s like the distilled essence of love right there.

Also love how natural their touches are here at the end. It’s not just that they kiss and then lay there, it’s the thumb on the cheek that taps and moves and sweeps several times, how Even’s hand shifts its grip on the back of Isak’s neck. Again, when I talk about their chemistry being phenomenal, this is the kind of stuff I mean. It never stops. It’s not just like they hit their marks when it says “Even kisses Isak in the script” and they stop there, it’s that Henrik and Tarjei keep going and stay in the moment. Because I think obviously the script dictates a lot of their actions, and I have no doubt that Julie gives them good direction, but certain things I feel like have to be the actors just bringing everything they have to the scene, there’s no way you could micro-manage those touches to that extent.

Clip 4 - Isak gives nary a fuck

Isak rolls up to his squad in the courtyard all like HEY BOYSSSSS. Magnus asks how everything is going with Evak. Just in case you didn’t know Julie paid attention to the fandom!

Magnus is the #1 Evak shipper. Like I’m sure Jonas loves them, too, but Jonas is always gonna be watching out for his boy Isak first and foremost. Magnus is just ... in love with their love.

More seriously, I love that Magnus asks about them? Because Magnus is the one who filled in Isak about mental illness, Magnus is the one who was knowledgeable about what Even might be going through. He knows that Even might still be dealing with heavy stuff. So it’s nice that he checks in with Isak.

Isak says they’re taking it day by day, minute for minute. Magnus gets the idea to sell that to NRK. “Minutt for minutt” is a reference to Norwegian slow television in the first place (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slow_television) so obviously, Magnus brings up NRK due to that established Norwegian programming, plus it’s also a joke about Skam being an NRK show. A multi-layered joke!

It’s also really clever for Isak to think of that connection back in the first clip of the episode, like he’s thinking they’re going to make slow TV out of their lives.

“Even and Isak, minute by minute” is Magnus’ suggestion. Just watching their entire lives together, I guess. He’s extremely enthusiastic. He thinks people would watch it - hell, he’d watch it himself! Who is not surprised that Magnus would be interested in a nonstop Evak marathon?

No offense to Norwegians, because I can certainly see the appeal of slow television (I caught my mom watching Nasjonal vedkveld, or National Firewood Night, on Netflix around Christmas: “Watch Norwegians demonstrate how to chop and stack firewood, and then sit back and enjoy the slow burn of a crackling fireplace in a Bergen farmhouse.”) but personally I would find “Even and Isak, minute by minute” more compelling than a long boat journey or train ride, as pretty and soothing as they might be.

Isak says that’s kind of fucked up to think about people watching them. Well, I’m very glad he exists within the fourth wall, because knowing that he had a very fervent audience watching him moon over Even for months would probably freak him out.

Magnus is like, “Why? Because you’re banging on TV? Don’t you think I can handle watching two guys bang?” and ohhhh boy, pull up a chair so we can break this down. 

Magnus … why did your mind immediately go to thoughts of Isak and Even banging instead of, IDK, Isak saying it’s fucked up because he wants his privacy or doesn’t want people spying on his every move? Like them banging was just the first thing that popped into your head? All right.

Magnus, you know you can watch two dudes banging like … any time you want, right? It’s called the Internet. (I’m sorry but Magnus definitely went home and watched gay p*rn. You know, just to prove he could handle it. He could totally handle it!)

If Isak and Even ever decide to mess with Magnus for a laugh and proposition him for a threesome, Magnus is definitely going to laugh nervously in shock before seriously considering it, before Isak and Even reveal it’s a joke.

I’ve said this before, because I know Magnus is supposed to be the clueless straight dude who’s still a well-intentioned ally, but: if at some point in Magnus’ future he’s microwaving a burrito in the middle of the night, staring into the tunnel of radiation as the tortilla turns slowly like his thoughts, and he suddenly thinks to himself, “I am definitely a bisexual,” I’d be like, yep, sounds about right.

I mean, that’s if he already didn’t have an awakening when tall drink of water Even Bech Næsheim strolled into his life with his swoopy hair and denim jacket. Not that he had designs on Even, but like ... it’s Even, guys.

This is absolutely how Magnus will announce his revelation to his friends, I refuse to accept anything less awkward and earnest. (Isak is Paula.)

Isak thinks it’s more of a turnoff that Magnus would be watching them bang. Magnus is offended. “Do you think I’m a turnoff?” Isak is like … well, you’re not a turn-on. OUCH. Isak lives to drag Magnus and I love it.

Magnus is like BULLSHIT, you would bang me if you had the chance. Magnus, you were so desperate and horny this season that literally all Isak had to do was offer and you would probably seriously consider it, no matter whether he was your bro. Isak definitely had “the chance.”

But lmao, I love that Magnus is most concerned about not being a turn-on and needing to know that Isak finds him bangable. No offense, Magnus, but why do you care so much if Isak wants to fuck you? 

Magnus asks him who he would fuck first out of the squad. To absolutely no one’s surprise if you’ve seen S1 (or frankly, even if you haven’t), Isak picks Jonas without hesitation and he and Jonas high-five. Jonas is probably like, ha, I KNEW I wasn’t completely unattractive! Magnus is then like, who between me and Mahdi? Isak is like, “It would be you … MAHDI” and switches his gaze from Magnus to Mahdi mid-sentence. Goddamn, Isak is ice cold. At least Mahdi’s fucking thrilled about being in second place!

More seriously, how marvelous is it that Isak can joke about this with his friends without any kind of tension or fear of judgment? Can you imagine the Isak at the beginning of this season participating in this conversation? Joking about fucking his (male) friends? His internalized homophobia would never allow it. Also consider that the very first clip of the season, the very first conversation we hear, is about Isak talking about which girls he would bang, and now we’re here, talking about which dudes he’d bang. We’ve gone from Isak being fake to Isak being real. We’ve come full circle in the hypothetical banging. This is a funny conversation but it’s also a mark of clear character development for Isak and establishing the good rapport he has with his bros. The boy squad has grown into a powerful force. 

Magnus is upset no one wants to bang him. Isak is like, you’re too desperate. See, Isak presents it like a flaw, Even will assure Magnus to just let all his desperation out there, like it’s an asset. Which is probably why Magnus appears to love Even so much. Even totally gets it, guys.

Mahdi spies the dance chicks coming. I have to say I find this to be an underrated music moment. It’s a quirky choice of song, the lyrics are very strange and comical. It reminds me of a clueless teenage boy’s POV of girls, which very much fits the scenario. Quick, the girls are coming, we’ll need to talk to them! Uhhh, what do girls like again? Shoes, dancing, boys! 

The boys sans Isak gape at the girls as they approach. Isak doesn’t seem too impressed. It’s a parallel to the first dance chicks scene, except then Isak’s lack of interest was funny but stressful, it was something that alienated him from the other guys, it was something he had to hide. Here his lack of interest is something he can just be open about, it’s purely amusement without the stress.

That one dance chick on the end looks a SHIT TON like Taylor Swift.

I do like that these dance girls - while admittedly all white and blond, which had to be intentional - look pretty typical for high school hot chicks. They’re not like supermodels Julie hired for the day, they’re the kind of girls you’d see at your school.

I’m not actually positive all the girls were in the previous dance chicks scene? I think the one who does the talking was in it, I can’t tell if the others were. But - and I mean this respectfully - they were all dancing, and I cannot tell all these blonde white girls in motion apart.

Anyway, the dance chicks go up to the boy squad. One of them seems to be appointed the official dance chicks representative and does the talking. The one next to her gives her kind of a nod and a look that suggests they planned how they were going to approach this, like “Let’s get that one gay guy to come to our party, what do we say?”

The head dance chick says that they know about Isak’s thing with Even and graciously bestows her approval onto him. Two boys together is so cute! Yikes. You know, this is an interesting scene because it goes after another type of homophobia, a “benevolent” one. These girls probably think they’re allies and are progressive, that this a good thing they’re doing. I mean, they think two boys together is so cute, right? Surely Isak would love to hear this! Gay rights!

There’s also perhaps some meta-commentary on Evak fandom here, since it’s in the same scene as Magnus dropping the ship name. Sometimes I think fandom overuses the “you’re FETISHIZING” argument just to shut down debate and bash ships, like do I think any girl who ships Evak is fetishizing by default? Fuck no. I think it’s more what the dance girls do here - “two guys together is cute.” It’s making a generalization, it’s treating gay couples as an object for straight girls’ entertainment rather than seeing them as people.

Also, those girls don’t even know Isak. They had to clarify that it was him when they approached him. With that in mind, it’s extra uncomfortable. I think it would be slightly different if someone like Sana or Eva said, aww, you guys are cute, because they at least know Isak and Even and hopefully were judging their “cuteness” based on their friends’ compatibility and their specific relationship, seeing them as people, rather than these strangers who are just like “boy + boy = cute” without knowing anything about them as individuals or the dynamic of that relationship. (Although we also see Vilde be like, “I love gays!” and she knows Isak and Even somewhat more. But then again, that’s Vilde for you.)

And lmao, they couldn’t have given a shit about the boy squad before Isak was outed, like learning he was gay just made them want to include him as a decoration at the Christmas party, next to the tree and the tinsel. Or suddenly turn him into their gay best friend. (I don’t want Isak to deal with these people who view him so superficially, but part of me also wants him to troll people who try to use him this way and just be the grumpiest, least fun gay best friend ever.)

Anyway, the boy squad exchange some looks. It seems like they are aware of how awkward the dance chicks’ comments are, but I don’t think that’s stopping them from being like “hot girls are talking to us” so they’re also hyped that the girls are here in front of them.

In response to their comment about him and Even, Isak is just like, cool. I love that tiny moment from the dance girls where they’re hesitating or not sure of themselves? Like maybe Isak didn’t react with effusive graciousness, maybe he didn’t instantly invite them to go shopping, so they’re a little thrown. They share another look. Dance rep says they’re having a get together on Friday and invites Isak. Magnus is like, HUNGRY EYES. Isak, completely unfazed, says he’s got the kosegruppa party on Friday, as the boy squad’s looks turn from excitement to horror.

I fucking loooove Isak for this moment. Because he doesn’t even hesitate, he just says he’s got kosegruppa, without any shame. From what I understand … kosegruppa didn’t seem to be the coolest organization around, right? (Even: “Did you think I was there to have fun?”) I mean, it’s run by “the biggest losers in school.” And the dance group almost certainly has more social capital. But Isak just matter of factly chooses the dorky revue group over the hot girl squad. And I love that Isak has been so grumpy and unimpressed with kosegruppa but now he’s embracing it. (I will say it to the end of time: We missed out on kosegruppa antics after this season. I wanted to see sooooo much of them.)

I mean, I’m also sure it didn’t hurt that it was a legit excuse not to hang out with these girls who were probably going to be cooing at him all night, but I like to think that Isak is both rejecting the “fake” party and embracing the silly but real party, with people like Sana and Eva who mean something to him.

The dance chicks seem stunned that Isak has chosen a crappy kosegruppa party rather than their party. They wander away. The boy squad makes faces at Isak.

Tarjei’s delivery of “What?” is truly golden. He sounds like a puppy yelping for treats. He plays it so sincerely that it’s hard to tell whether Isak really doesn’t get the impact of what he just did, or whether he’s that skilled at messing with his straight friends.

Mahdi is like, Christmas kosegruppa get together??? Isak is so nonchalant in how he replies. Oh yeah, I’m hosting it, so you’re invited. There is NO shame, no embarrassment when earlier in the season he hid it from his friends that he was hosting the pre-drink (which I think was a combination of embarrassment at hosting a kosegruppa party and of trying to keep the life with his friends separate from his life with Even in it and not have them intersect). He’s so cute and earnest here.

Mahdi says “the gates of paradise were open” (lmao) and instead Isak chose Christmas kosegruppa. What the hell, man.

Isak considers his friends. Then, like the coolest, sagest motherfucker on the planet, says, “Guys, you have to start getting chicks yourself,” and peaces out, dropping the mic as he leaves. Like he just leaves them in his confident gay dust.

Lmao, I love that, though. The thing is, it’s funny, but it’s not just that - again, it’s character development! Earlier this season we had Isak pressured into organizing a pre-drink with Emma and her friends because his friends wanted it, even though he was clearly reluctant. We had Isak also pressured into heading to Emma’s party in episode 5, when he had made it clear they’d ended on bad terms and he didn’t want to deal with her, because the boy squad needed a way in and they thought Isak had the golden ticket. Now he’s done with that. He’s not going to sacrifice his comfort and happiness just to help his friends hook up with girls. He’s done being smooth ladies’ man Isak, for obvious reasons. Time for the rest of the boy squad to step up for themselves.

We get a little more POV breakage in this last episode, as we stick with the boy squad a wee bit after Isak leaves. Mahdi and Jonas are still baffled, Magnus laments how unfair the world is and asks if they should ditch Isak’s party and go to the dance chicks’ one. It’s just a cute moment. I wonder if Julie liked David’s delivery here so she kept it in. I don’t mind POV breakage when again, it’s the last episode and Isak’s arc is basically wrapping up, and also when it’s something that isn’t an earth-shattering revelation - like there’s nothing here that we couldn’t have guessed ourselves about how the boy squad were reacting to this turn of events. It’s just a nice little coda to the clip.

Clip 5 - Make the Yuletide gay

It’s the last clip of the season, guys. I know I could have watched four more hours of Isak’s story. Get NRK on the phone with Magnus, have him pitch Isak and Even, minutt for minutt, so we can make that happen.

At the same time, this season is paced so well that I can’t fault it for not being longer. Every scene has a point. Nothing feels unnecessarily drawn out. The story clips along briskly. Isak’s arc feels full and realized.

Anyway, I’m getting my tissues out as to say goodbye to S3 and Isak’s POV.

This clip, and the whole episode, make me feel really festive. I associate it with all the sensations of when I watched S3 for the first time. Christmas lights outside, colder weather. 

One thing going into this clip - I thought William might show up. It seemed like the season may have been building to that. Now, regardless of my feelings on Noorhelm, we had Noora struggling with her relationship with William all season, right? It was a parallel to Isak’s relationship with Even. If he really loves you, he��ll choose you. No one is willing to sacrifice anything for love in 2016. Those were also meant to apply to Isak’s thoughts and anxiety with Even. But, of course, Even did choose Isak, Even did sacrifice his existing relationship for one with Isak. Isak and Even get a happy finale. So … if that happened for Isak, it would make sense for Noora to similarly get a happy finale with William. But obviously William doesn’t show up. And I’m perfectly fine with that, although I have to say … if he were going to show up at all this season, I think it would’ve been way better here, in the finale, when we’re wrapping things up, rather than in the middle of the season. I mean, not to throw shade at S4, but William’s appearance in S4 episode 8 could not help but focus Sana’s final POV-focused episode on Noorhelm to a large degree. This finale is closing out some arcs anyway, like Magnus/Vilde, so it’s not terribly out of place.

I wonder if Julie wrote this season finale in a way that William could have returned if Thomas had wanted, but he was not available/didn’t want to.

This clip, and the whole episode, make me feel really festive. I associate it with all the sensations of when I watched S3 for the first time. Christmas lights outside, colder weather.

The first thing we see is Isak and the boy squad being cute. Did Jonas and Magnus acquire those Christmas sweaters in a hurry, or did they happen to have them on hand?

Just a note, that I’m really glad the boy squad ended up at this party. I mean, from a Doylist perspective, they were always going to, because Julie was not going to end Isak’s season without his squad present, but from a Watsonian perspective, I love that they did choose this warm, cozy party with the people they care about rather than what likely would have been impersonal with the dance chicks. (I’m probably projecting. They would have been fine seeing all the hot girls.)

Really, though, we have most of the characters we care about and who were important to this season? Isak, Even, boy squad, girl squad, Eskild and Linn. It’s Isak’s support network, the people who’ve helped him grow.

It’s Penetrator Chris! He and Eva are still friends with benefits, but apparently friendly enough that he’ll go to this Christmas party with her. You know, I didn’t think much about what tension this may have caused with Jonas there. I think they’re probably all over that drama considering Jonas has been to parties with P-Chris present before (in the S2 finale, for one) and that P-Chris reaches out to Jonas in the S4 final episode to ask how to flirt with Eva, lmao.

Anyway, I think P-Chris and Eva were definitely hooking up for the fans. I don’t have any strong feelings about Penetrator Chris outside of finding him kind of amusing in certain contexts, and I ended up being a big Eva/Jonas fan, but lol, this is kind of sweet that he showed up.

Eskild is wearing tights??? Very tight, very shiny pants, at least. And he’s got mistletoe strategically positioned over his ass, lmao. I can’t be sure but I think he is also wearing mascara.

I love that this party is less about getting wasted and making out and more about like ...making ornaments! And cookies! How sweet and wholesome.

Of course I write that right as girl Chris is making like a papier-mâché dick. And Eskild and Linn are putting condom ornaments on that tree. Guys, I think enough sex is happening among the various occupants of your apartment that you might want to hang on to the condoms rather than filling them with glitter, IDK.

Linn has also attended the party, bless her, and she and Eskild argue whether the tree is straight or bent, which seems to be a double entendre, as he concludes by asking her if she’s queer. Lmao, Eskild.

Also love that Linn chimes in that it’s straight right after the song lyrics are “Make the Yuletide gay.”

The girl squad is making Christmas crafts. Noora mentions “Drummer Boy” by Justin Bieber, I’m not sure what the context is, but Noora’s interest in Justin Bieber is kind of a nice running gag they have with her. I wonder what she thinks of him on a personal level?

The girls talk about exams. Chris is failing German and English, having no idea there was a 10% absence limit. So Isak wasn’t the only person struggling this semester. Sana and Vilde are like, we told you about the limit! Chris says that she assumed Vilde said that because she was jealous Chris was hanging out with Kasper so much. So was Chris skipping class specifically to hang with Kasper?

Throughout the season there’s been a pretty understated arc about Vilde not hooking up with anyone and feeling jealous about being alone. In the first episode, we had her eyeballing the hot first years with distaste and being seemingly miffed that Chris brought Kasper to the kosegruppa meeting because they were doing so much together. Then we had Vilde complaining to the boy squad about first year girls stealing the older boys and second year girls not having anyone to hook up with. We had Vilde and Magnus flirting, with her saying that she didn’t have anyone she wanted to hook up with at Emma’s party. Here we come back to that, as Vilde seems pretty jealous that her friends are getting laid and she isn’t.

This is actually interesting in light of S4’s opening clip, because both Sana and Vilde apparently told Chris about the absence limit, but Chris seems to direct her jealousy comment at only Vilde, maybe. Perhaps because the girls assume that Sana has no sexual feelings or desire to hook up with anyone, and don’t realize that just because she doesn’t do it means she doesn’t want it. But Sana is also without a boyfriend and the girls seem to think this is the natural state of things.

I wonder if Vilde was also jealous not just of Chris having a boyfriend, but Chris no longer being so available for her? We know that she and Chris are very tight, they seem to have known each other longer than anyone int he girl squad, and Kasper would’ve taken Chris away from Vilde.

Vilde gets up and stomps away, saying she gets tons of dick. Girl … no, you don’t. Anyway, now she’s on a quest for Christmas wang.

I do love lesbian/bi Vilde theories and I think you can easily twist this scene into Vilde needing to prove something among the girls rather than just her sexual frustration, if that’s more your style.

By the way, Vilde is 10 kinds of cute in that Santa hat. Look at her freckles!

Noora smirks at that comment about Vilde not getting any dick. Girl, you are not getting any dick, either. The dick you were previously getting went cold as an icicle and you refuse to use Tinder.

Chris offers to give Vilde her decorated dick. Noora has been making a condom ornament. I legit wrote about 10 gross jokes but I deleted them out of an attempt at good taste.

Eva is like … is that a used condom? By Eskild? Lmao, I don’t think that’s an actual used condom but Noora’s reaction is funny. The girls are like, get that used condom away from me, and Eva suggests smelling it???? What world do these girls live in that they need to test if a condom is used by smelling it? Like I’d rather just take a chance that I’d throw out a perfectly good, unused condom rather than smelling some random condom that has been ... used. I would not put myself through that.

Now we switch to what’s cooking in the kitchen with the boy squad! What’s cooking is a plan to get Magnus to finally make a move on Vilde.

Can we please appreciate Jonas’ “Merry Crustmas” sweater and Magnus’s Christmas elf sweater? Isak looks very nice in his button-up shirt but I’m not going to pretend I kind of wanted a Christmas sweater on him. Same with Mahdi.

Mahdi tells Magnus that he’s the predator and Vilde is the prey, he’s the lion and she’s the zebra, and it is a credit to the likability and sweetness of these boys that this just comes across as funny rather than creepy. Maybe because they’re basically teasing Magnus rather than this being 100% serious advice.

Magnus says he’s nervous. Isak asks whether he’s in love with Vilde. Magnus says he thinks so. That’s kind of sweet, lmao. I think the boys saw Magnus’ thing for Vilde as a joke but this makes it a touch more serious. Magnus wants to know what if she says no? Again, the uncertainty is cute. Isak says it’s not the end of the world if she says no, but to think of it as a positive thing if she says yes. Which is quite good advice!

Magnus frets over his sweater, whether it looks good, whether to touch Vilde. You know, this scene is even cuter now than when I first saw it? Because it’s easy to dismiss Magnus/Vilde as a joke pairing, and I completely understand why people would dislike that ship - I’m not a ride or die fan of it myself - but Magnus is so earnest and vulnerable here, wanting to get it right, and the boys are so sweet and trying their best to give him good advice. They’re not being sleazy about it, either.

Isak’s gaze changes because who should walk in but Even? Guys, it’s Even!!! No, really, I think Julie was definitely playing with the viewers a little, because Even’s attendance was not set in stone for this scene - I mean, look, there was no way he wasn’t going to be in the last clip of the season, but Even himself seemed unclear whether he wanted to attend. And yeah, we have Isak and Even kissing in the still frame for the clip, but seeing Even walk in here is like relief. We smile because it’s Even, guys!

Compared to the other boys, Even seems dressed down. It looks like he’s wearing sweatpants. His hand is not styled. It seems like he hasn’t been joining the whole party, he must have been camping out in Isak’s room or something. Perhaps talking to his mom. And I think that’s lovely? No pressure to attend, he can come and go at his own pace, he didn’t have to dress up. And everyone is fine with this. The boy squad treats him normally.

Okay, we gotta talk about those gingerbread cookies on the wall. There’s a gingerbread dick, and two gingerbread boys holding hands. 

First of all: what an inspired set choice, and I want to know who came up with the idea, and whose job it was to go home and bake dick-shaped gingerbread cookies. 

Second: in-universe, who do you think baked the cookies? Because my bet is on Even. We know he cooks a bit and I can see him baking during the day when Isak isn’t there, now that he feels a little better, but most importantly: the guy who drops dick references at any opportunity? How could he resist an opportunity to craft a gingerbread phallus? Or proclaim his love for Isak by recreating the Evak ship in cookie form?

It could also be a group activity, of course. I also think Eskild would make a dick cookie, but I do not buy him baking cookies on his own so much. I would love if it were a dark horse candidate like Noora, but the ultimate stealth penis baker: Linn. She has it in her. I know it.

One of those gingerbread dudes looks like he might be jizzing, but I suppose those could also be buttons.

Isak tells Even that the boys are helping Magnus fuck Vilde. Mahdi and Jonas are encouraging Magnus not to be desperate, but Magnus is confused about what desperate means in this scenario.

A detail I have never noticed, and that I fucking love: Jonas suggests that Magnus picture a cool, laid-back guy, and pretend to be him, and Mahdi says, “Maybe picture Jonas?” and points to Jonas. MY HEART. MY FUCKING HEART. Really, Jonas and Mahdi have such a side friendship going on. Of course Isak and Jonas are the BFFs, but Jonas and Mahdi have their own thing happening. Jonas is probably how Mahdi got pulled into the boy squad in the first place.

And now we get Even’s advice. He thinks Magnus should be himself and take desperate to the next level. Hey, he’s onto something! I mean, it worked for Even, being the most desperate dude alive. Now he and Isak are together. Also, man, this is going to endear Even to Magnus even further, when his sage advice is what got him and Vilde together. Even is a miracle worker.

I love that we see Even look into the camera, meaning he’s looking at Isak, while the boys are talking. This is such a small thing, but the fact that Even’s always looking to Isak even in group scenes does SO much for their chemistry. He can’t help but gravitate to him.

But also, that look was definitely putting Isak in on the joke, like, “Remember how my desperation worked for us? Trust me, I would know about taking desperate to the next level.”

Magnus decides fuck it, he’s gonna show Vilde how desperate he is, and Jonas and Mahdi follow him out, laughing. They gotta see this. Recently we had the clip of them cheering in the bloopers and I WISH we had seen their adorable reactions to the Magnus/Vilde hook up.

So now it’s just Isak and Even in the kitchen together, their last one-on-one scene of the season. The last time they interact directly, unless you count the glance across the room they share toward the end.

Even goes for Isak’s waist, and Isak touches his shoulder - good. The physical contact between the two is so casual and natural and makes you feel like these two are really a couple. Also, that casual as fuck domestic kiss, and Isak’s breathy tone of voice - he’s so satisfied being a married man.

Isak asks how’s it going. Even says that it’s fine, but that his mom is nagging because she really wants to meet Isak. We were deprived of that scene in canon, but Julie gave it to us in the scripts.

Isak is like … oh. Clearly a little nervous, taken aback, doing his best not to show it. Even asks if they should drop by tomorrow, and Isak agrees. I don’t think he can entirely shake off his nerves, because holy shit, Even’s mom wants to meet him - and Isak hasn’t been having the best luck with the adults in his life, tbh, and it’s always nerve-wracking to meet the future in-laws and you want to make a good impression - but he’s going to do it anyway. When Even asks if he thinks it’s awkward, Isak says he doesn’t think anything is awkward anymore. Awww. Character development! He’s rising to meet new challenges. Plus I think it might be a little awkward with like … meeting Even’s parents after the hotel scene, like Isak and Even’s bangfest got interrupted by Even walking out naked and getting picked up by the police. Sort of the elephant in the room, that night was a big uncomfortable ordeal, but Isak’s just going to deal with the weirdness of it.

Here we have Even looking at his phone and giving a befuddled look that would inspire countless theories. Why did Even react like that? Was it Mikael coming to ruin Evak’s happiness???? Whatever it was, it was probably just Henrik mucking up something on the phone, or maybe playing it as Even shaking his head at his mom’s nagging, or something innocuous. Maybe Isak borrowed Even’s phone and Even’s found his Google search results, like why is BUTT showing up all of a sudden?? You can project whatever you want on his reaction.

Isak says, as long as you’re smiling and wearing clothes, life is chill. Awww. Of course everything is great when Even is doing well, he just likes it when Even smiles. And of course there’s that little joke about Even wearing clothes. It’s nice how the hotel incident is no longer this terrifying incident in his mind, but something they can laugh about, like Magnus can laugh about his mom messing with the railway guy.

Even’s response to that, his expression of raising his eyebrows and grinning, is so funny and lovely, and it’s good to see from him, too! That he recognizes Isak’s joke, and that it’s not something to be ashamed of, but something he can laugh about, too.

Even promises to wear clothes, which is thoughtful of him, lol. I don’t think Isak has a lot of objections to Even not wearing clothes, but Even’s parents there would make it weird.

Isak gives him a fond-ass look, They kiss and this is the sweetest kiss, it’s a little passionate but ends with these two short pecks. It feels very natural. They start to rub noses because of course, gotta get in one of those, when Sana interrupts.

Man, think about being Sana and seeing Isak and Even be so cuddly and kissy! Isak, the grumpy partner from biology class, who’s now so soft and open, and Even, her brother’s friend who’s gone through some rough shit, smiling and at peace. It must be so nice to see these guys so happy together. Also, think about what a plot twist for these two random dudes on the edges of her life to find love together, lmao.

Isak happily greets Sana, and Even and Sana are “introduced.” I legit am not sure whether Julie had this storyline in mind at this point. Because definitely this scene kicked off a lot of theories, and speculation that they knew each other. I don’t think Iman and Henrik knew this backstory. But I don’t think I can totally write off the possibility that Julei didn’t have it in mind, because of little details like Even’s pictures of Muslim women on his wall, or the line about him learning the Quran. 

For sure a lot of people wanted Even/Sana friendship in the next season. But generally, people were like “Wouldn’t it be cool if we saw them talking about the Quran at a party or something?” not “What if Even had tried to kill himself and Sana knew about it?”

Additionally, that little line when they’re introduced, when Sana says, “kosegruppa” - strangely that feels like support to me that this was planned? Because I mean, obviously they would know each other through kosegruppa. They’re at a kosegruppa party. So in context, it kinda seems like a little inside joke ... Isak asks if they know each other, they play act being introduced, Sana adds “kosegruppa” to reinforce that she’s not going to give away Even’s secret and that of course it’s through kosegruppa they know each other, not any other way.

Anyway, they’re cute, Iman’s cute. Isak introduces Sana as his biology partner ...AND FRIEND. AHHHHH. Gorgeous. Unexpectedly, Sana managed to become a special person in his life.

I love when Even asks how Isak is in biology, and Isak gives him kind of this “really?” look. Like Even’s winding up Isak and Isak is all, ha ha, very funny.

Sana’s reaction! She makes a face and says he’s useful, and of course Isak has to protest and talk up how great he is. I’m surprised he didn’t say, “I’m the MASTER of biology!” Even looks fond and amused at Isak being incensed at told he’s not great at something, yet again.

Sana hands Isak her little gift. It’s the 10%! Awww. Not only is this a funny gift, but it’s a mark of how far they’ve come this season? At the start of S3, she was blackmailing him and keeping his weed. She gave back 90% of it, but only after he’d done what she asked. Here she doesn’t have a reason to give it back here except good will. This is just a warm, friendly gesture with nothing expected in return.

Even: “Cool biology partner.” Damn straight!

While Isak is busy having warm feelings toward Sana, Even has taken the weed. Isak notices and snatches it back. Appreciate Isak’s hand on Even’s because that’s the only hand-holding we’re getting until S4.

So there was a bit of debate over this next part, when Isak snatches the weed from Even and the conversation that follows. Because the opinion that many people took was, isn’t this like what Sonja was doing with Even? Controlling him? And I can certainly understand why people would feel this way and wouldn’t care for this part. I had sort of a kneejerk “hmmm” response watching it for the first time. It’s one of those things that doesn’t bother me now, and I think there are certain differences between what Isak does and how Sonja handled these kinds of issues, perhaps. It has a lot to do with tone, I think.

First, Isak waited until Sana was gone to take back the weed - not sure it was intentional on his part since he didn’t seem to notice Even had the weed until Sana had left, but he didn’t make these comments until he and Even were alone. We saw with Sonja that she would make comments to Even in front of other people, such as asking him to cut down on drinking in front of Isak and Emma. So I think that by itself makes it perhaps easier for Even, that he’s not being embarrassed or scolded in front of other people.

Second, the way this conversation unfolds makes it seem like a joke. It doesn’t devolve into a serious lecture about Even’s smoking and what he needs to do and not do, it’s banter about Isak being paid to date Even. So I think that also takes some of the pressure off, because Even doesn’t feel like he’s being parented or controlled. 

Finally … Isak has been dating Even for not long at all. He’s known Even is bipolar for what, like two weeks? So frankly. he might not get everything perfect at first, although there’s no indication Even is seriously upset with him here. But Isak has time to figure out this relationship and what to do and what not to do. Sonja had been dating Even for years, and even if he wasn’t diagnosed during that entire time, I think the way they acted together was more set in stone, probably it had been a while that this resentment had built up.

Anyway, Even asks if Isak is going to be telling him what to do now, Isak says that’s his job. Their faces are very close to each other’s. They’re flirting hardcore. Pretty sure this was all improv, about Isak finding a poster that said Even needed an assistant and boyfriend, and it’s fucking adorable.

Also, the importance of Isak saying, “Holy fuck, he’s hot!” He went from not being able to admit when a guy was attractive, lest he be seen as gay, to being able to comment on his boyfriend’s hotness openly. Bravo, Isak. It isn’t even a struggle for him here, it’s an easy statement.

I love how they look at each other and how Even leans in for the kiss as Isak is getting his sentence out, I love that Isak grabs Even by the back of the head for the kiss.That tells me how committed these actors were to getting into character, they make Isak and Even look so passionate. Like, Isak is 110% into this kiss!

I want to talk about their chemistry here in particular, because this is what sets them apart from other couples you see on TV. Look at this body language. It comes so easily to them to touch each other! They don’t break away and put space between them immediately after the kiss, they stay in each other’s personal space and keep their hands on each other. Look at how Isak’s hand slowly drifts from the back of Even’s head down his throat, lingering over the Adam’s apple, and stays on Even’s chest. Look how Even goes in for that easy brush of the cheek and tucks Isak’s hair behind his ears - and notice how Isak mirrors that gesture, by tucking Even’s hair afterwards. Now that is really great, like Isak is taking cues from Even on how to act with him, what feels nice, what makes him feel good and loved by Even, and he’s then using those cues back at Even. None of this moment feels stilted or fake. They feel like two people who are utterly in love and want to keep their hands on each other at all costs.

Let’s appreciate Even’s “what?” after Isak says Even’s mom is paying him to date Even, as well as the shove. Precious.

Also what an excellent bit of banter, that Isak brings it back to Even’s mom wanting to “meet” him. Ha! Tarjei’s delivery is so so good here, Isak seems so happy and good-natured. And a tiny thing, but I love that he starts to get his line out when Even is still reacting, and then restarts it. It’s one of Skam’s naturalistic touches, it makes it seem less like a rehearsed, scripted TV show and more realistic.

They tease each other, Even wants some of that money, Isak says it’s his money, this is all flirting. They really really want each other at this point. I think Even’s “drive” is back, if you know what I mean. I felt like he was two seconds away from throwing Isak up on the counter.

And that great kiss! It’s so different from the other kisses in this scene! Seriously, they’ve exchange four different kisses in about 2-3 minutes; 1) the brief, familiar hello kiss 2) the sweet, tender “gonna meet your mom” kiss 3) the passionate, teasing banter kiss 4) the “I can’t believe I’m here with you” entertained kiss. They all have different lengths, different levels of intensity, different gestures that go along with them. Imagine your OTP having this amount of variety. (I can!)

We cut to Vilde, probably because whatever happened next with Evak would’ve melted computer screens. Vilde is hanging up ornaments. Specifically, an ornament with a cute cat on it. Magnus approaches her. It’s a little quiet between them, although Magnus seems happy just to be near her. He asks her if she likes cats. Well, we know she does? She went as a cat for Halloween that one year. Anyway, she smiles as if he asked her the best question ever.

Magnus says he does too. Vilde seems to consider this fact with grave importance. Whatever will she do with this amazing piece of information?

What she does is meow. She meows, everybody.

Luckily, Magnus is charmed and/or turned on by this. He asks what was that, and while at first she downplays it, he asks her to do it again, and she does it again, meowing with perhaps even greater enthusiasm. Where the first meow was uncertain, this meow is imbued with confidence and Vilde’s beautiful smile.

Magnus is getting massively turned on from this, let’s be real. He’s biting his lip and looking at Vilde like she’s a snack. He suddenly gets serious and says he’s never fucked before and he really wants to fuck. Well, he’s being honest, I’ll say that much.

Vilde considers this admission of truth, and says, with dignity, that Magnus is welcome to fuck her, with a satisfied smile. Magnus looks as if she has given him the world and thanks her so it’s barely audible. He swoops in and kisses her.

Okay, look … feelings about the overall execution of Magnus/Vilde after this point aside, this is a funny and weirdly cute scene. It’s dopey and awkward but earnest, these kids are being deadly serious.

So when do we think these two got it on? Did they leave together and go to one of their homes, or did they find an empty room in Isak’s flat? Was there a line of people waiting to use the bathroom as Magnus and Vilde were busy? I feel like Isak would suddenly become Mr. Clean and sanitize the entire apartment if Magnus and Vilde had fucked there. (I mean, maybe that’s how you get Isak to do his duties and pick up after himself around the flat. Rent out the space for Magnus/Vilde private time, and afterwards Isak will go on a cleaning frenzy.)

Eva is painting an ornament and Isak asks to sit next to her. I feel like this scene was here mostly because people wanted Isak and Eva to interact, after going a whole season where they barely spoke, but it works, this scene feels fitting. It’s a conversation between the two of them where Isak gets to demonstrate how much he’s grown.

They even comment on how it’s been a long time since they’ve talked, which is understandable; I think Isak’s actions in S1 did something really drastic to their friendship, understandably, and that even after they talked about it, it wasn’t the same. Plus Eva broke up with Jonas so she wasn’t in Isak’s orbit as much, and Eva had made her own group of friends. Though I do think they were friendly in their own right, there just weren’t as many chances to hang out as they used to have.

They used to hang out so much, and now they only say hi at school. Awwww. Isn’t that the way it often goes? At least Isak and Eva mention how they should hang out more often, that they miss the times when they would hang out, in junior high and summer before Nissen. When there was a lot of drama, lol. That’s when Eva and Jonas would have gone behind Ingrid’s backs and cheated, and when she found out and all that. I can see it being a total mess? I believe Eva, Ingrid, Sara, Jonas, and Isak used to hang out more as a group - like didn’t Isak and Sara have a kind of romance going on in junior high? They dated a little bit? I can’t see that as anything serious, but that group seemed to have a lot of entanglements.

Eva mentions that Isak has gotten a boyfriend. Isak says yes, with some pride, and maybe a touch of astonishment that he’s gotten that far, to the point where he has a boyfriend.

They look over at Even, who’s assisting Eskild hang some mistletoe. Even is the exact person you need to help you hang up anything around the house, let’s be real. Eva comments that Even is very handsome, and Isak agrees - another moment where he can allow himself to admit that a guy is hot. Not even to Even, this time, but to Eva! To another person! 

Eva jokes that she might steal Even. I wonder if the comment about “You better watch out for me, I might steal him,” lighthearted as it was, is what prompted Isak to bring up the S1 drama and apologize again. It prompted some memories of last year and his own behavior. Honestly, I think Isak had this talk in mind before he sat down - we know he’s been trying to bury the hatchet and make amends with people he has hurt. But maybe he didn’t know quite how to bring it up, and this was what gave him the push to do so.

Isak says he’s been thinking about what happened last year, and he wants to apologize for doing what he could to break up Eva and Jonas. It wasn’t right. Interesting that he makes clear he has been thinking about it lately, like the guilt has been weighing on him. I think maybe, because he got a taste of what happened with Eva recently, with him being outed at school versus her being bullied after he exposed that she kissed Chris, he can put herself in her shoes and understand exactly what spilling her secret did to her.

Again, this is why I like Isak. He fucks up but he apologizes. He does have empathy, he does care about how his actions affect people. He may not always get it right the first time, but he’s not some completely selfish little shit.

Eva says that Isak didn’t fuck things up between them, it was her and Jonas who fucked things up. Isak says he still feels like he tricked her, such as saying he had feelings for her. Ultimately, Eva and Jonas had their own issues - if these issues of doubt and lack of trust didn’t exist, then Isak wouldn’t have been able to come between them no matter how much scheming he did. Jonas and Eva did plenty on their own to tank their relationship. But Isak did throw some logs on the fire. And honestly, him lying about why he betrayed Eva, that he liked Eva instead of Jonas - that’s probably the least wrong thing he did, lmao. I can at least sympathize with why he lied about that.

Eva laughs and says she figured that out. She never mentions the BUTT and related content on the phone, which is fair, it would probably be embarrassing and an invasion of privacy. She says that she’s over it and he should be too. Awww. It’s nice of them to really lay it out there and get over this stuff. Isak looks at her so pleased. I mean, Isak apologized and they talked about it at the end of S1, but the thing is, it didn’t really heal their friendship or anything. I think they needed time for the wounds to heal, space from each other … Eva’s gained independence and Isak has found his real self. They’re both more mature people, so this can be some old drama to leave in the past, basically.

Eva wants to change the subject to Isak’s new boyfriend, obviously a very hot topic. Is he the man of Isak’s life, she asks?

Isak takes this question way more seriously than necessary, lmao, though not in a bad way! He says he doesn’t know, and ohhhh boy, while I like this speech a lot, I don’t blame anyone for having a kneejerk WTF at that. Even Eva seems taken aback, like maybe she’s not thinking Evak OTP 4-Ever but she wasn’t expecting this kind of blunt response. She wants to know why.

He asks whether it’s important, and she says no, but wants to know if things are going well with him and Even. Isak says it’s great now, but a week ago it was very bad, it’s up and down. I do want to point out that like, Isak and Even are just settling into their relationship, and two weeks ago Isak was blindsided by Even’s manic episode. This was something he was completely unprepared to deal with. But now he knows that Even is bipolar, they’re more open with each other, Isak has educated himself and risen to the occasion on taking care of Even. So I do think Isak is maybe overstating how “up and down” it will be from now on - obviously things won’t be perfect, no relationship is, but I think it’s fair to think that their relationship will be more stable going forward. Again, Isak is new to this relationship, he’s really new to any romance based on genuine feelings rather than fake feelings. It’s natural to have doubts, and he’s being pretty mature here acknowledging both the good and the bad.

He says the reason it’s so good when it’s good is why it’s so bad when it’s bad. Makes sense. Isak hurt so much at various points of the season because his feelings for Even were very real and intense, and when things were going swimmingly, they were amazing. The thing with love is that you are always risking something. In order to get the happiness that comes with love, you have to be willing to accept the potential pain as well.

“Suddenly it can be over tomorrow.” Isak :( It does make me a little sad that he has to live with this idea, but again, it’s mature in the long run. And frankly you could say this about any relationship, even ones with no obvious obstacles.

But this is also in line with the minutt for minutt approach - take it one day at a time. Don’t put this big stress or these huge expectations on yourself. Like if you’re going to take it one minute at a time so you don’t get weighed down by the bad stuff, then honestly, it kinda makes sense to do so for the good stuff as well? I mean, people get so worked up about what their lives are supposed to be - they’re supposed to be in a relationship, they’re supposed to get married and have kids by this or that age, they’re supposed to get into this university and get that degree and be on that career path according to the calendar. It’s OK to not have it all figured out. It’s OK not to put that stress on yourself.

Regardless, Isak is really happy that he met Even. Not just because he became certain he liked guys, as Eva suggests - and I think Isak was pretty certain about that prior to meeting Even - but because he was fake before. He doesn’t really go into it with Eva, but we know that part of him being fake was pretending to like girls, making out with girls, flirting with girls. Disavowing anything that could be construed as gay. Meeting Even was the catalyst for all of that to change. Meeting Even led to him coming out, to being in a relationship with another boy rather than living a heterosexual lie.

But interestingly, Isak doesn’t limit his fake life to his sexuality. It was him lying at home, watching Narcos and playing video games. Basically being bored and passive. Being detached from the world. He had this secret and I think it led him to retreating from everyone and everything in a meaningful way in order to cover it up. Isak is done with that, he wants his life to be real. He doesn’t want to be an observer or sit on the sidelines, he wants to live authentically and actively. (This explains a LOT about his actions in this episode - why he agrees to host the kosegruppa party for Vilde instead of, say, lying around at home doing nothing. Why he turns down the invitation from the dance girls, the “fake” invite, in favor of kosegruppa, with the people he cares about. Why he agrees to meet Even’s mom so readily, instead of hiding.) Even if his life becomes terrible at times, it’s better than a fake and boring life.

Eva seems very pleased with what Isak says. So does Isak. We get his final lines of the season, which are spectacular: “Whether you believe in Allah, or Jesus, or the theory of evolution, or parallel universes, there’s only one thing we all know for sure...”

How angelic is this music as he’s saying this, by the way? Makes it feel extra profound, heh.

Isak looks to Eva. We hear “Beautiful!” come from Even, which in a weird way feels like it’s a part of this conversation even though it’s not. Even is still helping Eskild with the mistletoe.

Eskild almost steals the final shots of the season by doing some kind of exaggerated check on how the mistletoe holds up. Or else he’s trying to get someone to come and lay a smooch on him.

Even looks across the room at Isak, and at us the audience, glancing between the mistletoe and Isak and grinning like he has plans for the both of them later. It’s much like he did that first time we saw him in the cafeteria, when he looked right at Isak/us. Only this time, Isak doesn’t force himself to look away, but looks back with some fondness. So, so good. We’ve come full circle, from the first glimpse of Even this season to the last. What a subtle mark of Isak’s development and how far he’s come.

Isak smiles and looks back to Eva. “That life is …” cut to black “now.”

CHILLS. MOTHERFUCKING CHILLS. Jesus Christ, the impact of that final line!

That fade to black is Julie reminding us, we the audience, that our lives are now, too. There’s something especially poignant about this talk of living minute by minute, living in the present, for a show like Skam, with its innovative real-time format. Skam literally airs minute by minute, in the present, or at least it did when airing. “Life is now” is essentially the central conceit of Skam’s structure. That’s why we talked about it like it was real when it aired. “Is Isak going to meet with Even today?” “Talk to Jonas already, Isak!” “Even hasn’t been school for a few days, I’m worried.” We fit this fictional show into our own real-life narratives, speculating when clips would drop based on real schedules. And here’s Julie basically reminding us that hey … life goes on when the season’s over. Our lives are still happening. She’s reminding us to live in real time as much as the Skam characters do. Embrace the present.

ALT ER LOVE - look, I realize that maybe this quote has been overused, and maybe people wield it as a get out of jail free card because they see any criticism as virulent unnecessary hatred (“don’t criticize anything about Skam or the remakes! remember alt er love uwu”) but this was so powerful at the time. This was just a quote on Even’s door! And Julie posted it for us on her Instagram after the hotel clip to give us hope, to tell us to hang on, everything would be okay. Here it’s made clear within the show, everything is love. I think this was also a love note to the fans, tbh. Much like “Skam <3s You” from S2.

I love the final choice of song so much, It’s “Thank God It’s Christmas” by Queen. Cool to use a band like Queen given that Freddie Mercury is an LGBT icon, and of course the lyrics fit as well:

Oh my love We've had our share of tears Oh my friends We've had our hopes and fears Oh my friends It's been a long hard year But now it's Christmas Yes, it's Christmas Thank God it's Christmas

How beautifully does that fit Isak’s relationships? With Even, with his friends. It’s been a rocky ride, but they’re here together for this Christmas party. Isak is at a much better place in his life. I think pretty much everyone at this party is in a better place than they were previously, arguably. I guess not Noora, depending on your POV? But she seems to be having a good time at this party compared to how she was earlier in the season. Magnus is getting laid, Vilde’s getting dick. The boy squad knows what’s up with their bro Isak and they’re all closer than ever. Even is in a new, loving relationship with someone who understands him and he’s making new social connections, he’s surviving in a new school, he has hope for the future. Isak’s closer with all his friends and has even made some new ones. He’s out of the closet. He’s on better terms with his mom. He’s in love with someone who loves him back. He and Even have gone through hell to get to this point. This happy ending feels utterly earned.

Social Media/Final Comments:

The texts from this week between Isak and Kollektivet are some of my favorite in the entire series. I think it’s fair that say that the Kollektivet taking care of Even is one of my favorite things in the whole season. I wish we had gotten to see more of it, though I understand why we didn’t (and we did get some hints in the clips themselves, like Isak’s phone call to Eskild, Linn playing FIFA with Even, and Even calling out Isak on asking his roommates to look after him). But good Lord, what a wonderful use of social media this week.

After Minutt for minutt, Eskild texts Isak wondering if he’s in his room. Not a metaphor, he clarifies, lmao. He keeps texting “Answer me” and there’s a nod to S2’s hashtag #williammåsvare, this time with isakmåsvare (William/Isak must answer). Finally, Isak tells his guru to chill. Everything’s OK. What a simple but satisfying answer. Like the clip, it’s reassuring as a cool drink of water.

In a Kollektivet text, Isak reveals he has taken Linn’s pizza to make food for Even. Both she and Eskild ask how Even is doing. Isak says that it seems Even is doing better, he’s sleeping a lot - Sonja told him he sleeps a lot when he’s depressed. Even also ate half the pizza, which I’ve seen people attribute to people overeating during depression (it’s common to eat too much or too little) but also like … a teenage boy eating half a frozen pizza isn’t that wild to me even when he’s not depressed, lmao. So it’s as serious as you want it to be.

One of the absolute best lines from Eskild, or anybody, perfectly summing up Isak’s character: “To think that there is so much care in your little grumpy teenager body.”

And Isak’s perfectly Isak response: “Whatever.” His character in a nutshell.

Isak says he can’t miss any more school but also doesn’t want to leave Even alone, quite reasonable of him. He asks about the others’ availability during the day. Eskild and Noora agree to be there. Eskild offers to create a schedule for the whole week with Excel, lmao - he’s always so over-the-top about everything, but he’s always got to do the most to take care of people. Like he is throwing himself into this project of nurturing. Isak asks if it’s OK if Even wants to stay the whole week, and the roommates agree. When there is room in the house, there’s room in the heart. Isak thanks them.

This is so sweet and so kind. The roommates barely know Even - although, to be fair, he did seem to make quite an impression on Eskild and Noora when he was making breakfast, lol. And there was that one week where Eskild was taking and sharing Evak cuddle pictures! But still they have embraced him and welcomed him into the flat, an already crowded apartment. It’s both kindness for Even and kindness for Isak. They know how much he means to Isak. And as Eskild notes, they know how good Isak is being with Even, how much kindness he is showing. Even is bringing out the best of Isak. Kollektivet is such a warm, loving place to live.

The next day, Eskild gives a status report on his time with Even while Isak was away, as we saw mentioned in the locker clip. Eskild made Even a snack and managed to get Even out of bed to play Yahtzee and watch some Planet Earth. OK, now I really feel deprived of all we didn’t get to see this week. You’re lying if you don’t want to see what playing Yahtzee and binging nature documentaries is like with Eskild and Even. He notes that Even was in a better mood when he left.

As opposed to Eskild’s detailed report, Noora is like, Even was chill. When pressed for details, Noora says he slept and she made him a cup of tea. Eskild is disappointed she didn’t go full status report like he did, lmao. Isak says he took Even out to get a kebab, so that’s good, that Even was able to go out and leave the flat.

Vilde posts a little IG story, I think, promoting the Christmas party. I would not be surprised if Ulrikke made this up on the fly, because there’s something Ulrikke-ish rather than Vilde-ish in her delivery, heh.

Actually, what’s amusing is that this video seems like a direct response to her conversation with Isak earlier that day? I’m not positive that it was posted after that clip, but I think it was. She says that she’s aware kosegruppa isn’t the first thing on people’s minds during the busy holiday season, which is her responding to what Isak said about almost forgetting kosegruppa. And in the description, she makes sure to note that you can’t join just for the fun!

She also says, “Are you finding it hard to get out of bed because it’s dark outside?” and I think it’s total coincidence but damn does that match Even’s mood right now. And the Christmas party will be a mark of him climbing out of his depressive episode.

On Tuesday, Noora texts Isak that Even won’t come out of his room, and that she went inside but didn’t reach him - he must have been too down to respond to her. Isak thanks her and lets her know he’s coming home. When Noora wants to know if there’s anything they can do, Isak says he’s calling Sonja.

I like this text for multiple reasons. First, it establishes the up and down nature of Even’s condition. Even had been doing better on Monday, when Eskild played games and watched TV with him. But he’s not out of the woods yet. Depression can be unpredictable, sometimes you’re down when you “shouldn’t” be. Second, I like this little Isak and Noora interaction, and that she contacted him when she was worried. That’s a relationship we don’t get a ton of, but I like that sometimes we see an understanding between their characters, such as the episode 6 clip where he snaps and then tells her William’s an idiot if he gives up on her. Third, that Isak goes to Even ASAP when he hears Even isn’t doing well. Fourth, that Isak contacts Sonja for help. He’s not holding back out of pride, he’s not afraid to ask for help. It’s important because it’s Sonja and there’s no beef there, he’s not reluctant to contact her to help with Even. And moreover, this is what Isak has learned over the course of the season! He’s realized that he’s not alone, that he can reach out to people for help. Being able to ask for help makes him such a more capable person, it shows his maturity and it keeps him from struggling by himself.

Later, in a Kollektivet chat, Noora checks in with Isak, who says that Even is OK and they watched a movie, he’s sleeping now. Eskild asks to switch Even shifts because he has to”sell krill at Karl Johan.” Errr, so is that an actual job he has? Or is Eskild being Eskild?

Linn offers to take the shift and says that she sees a lot of herself in Even. While Noora laughs at the idea of manic Linn, and Eskild says that if Linn is bipolar, Eskild is straight, it’s not that wild of an idea for Linn to recognize parts of herself in Even. Linn is probably not bipolar, we don’t get any indication of mania from her, but she's likely depressed. I mean, even Vilde was able to pick up on it, lol. Eskild says when they’re done with the “secure Even project,” they’ll do the “activate Linn” project. I mean, I certainly hope so? 

He says that 2017 will be Linn’s year. Not that we got too much of a glimpse into Linn’s 2017, but I’d like to think that Kollektivet looked into getting Linn some help for her depression. (I also remember that some people were like “Linn for S4??” after that text, lol.)

Vilde texts Isak about the Christmas tree after their phone conversation Wednesday. She wants Isak to pick it up. He’s like, stress. Vilde insists that he get the tree because it’s Christmas and Christmas is about love, kosegruppa is about love, all you need is love! Why do I get the feeling love is on Vilde’s mind? I don’t know, maybe because she “casually” tells Isak he can invite Magnus and the others. Since the party is at Isak’s anyway. You know, no big deal. When he’s like, I’ll ask, she wants to know if they’ll have something else planned. Ha, she is really worried that Magnus won’t be there! 

And it’s funny that she’s so obsessed with getting the Christmas tree because it’s Christmas and Christmas means love, and that what brings Vilde and Magnus together is a moment together at the tree, Vilde hanging up the cat ornament.

Also, yet another example of Vilde making a request of Isak, him putting up an argument briefly before agreeing to whatever she says.

One of the most meaningful IG posts in the whole series: Isak’s Friday picture of him and Even. It’s Isak and Even, out in public somewhere - it’s impossible to tell where, but it definitely seems like they’re out in the daylight, on the sidewalk. Even is kissing Isak on the cheek, a hand under his chin. Isak is smiling into the camera. And the caption - “no filter.” 

Of course the meaning is much more than not using an Instagram filter. It’s that Isak no longer has a filter over this part of his life. He can live openly as himself, in love with Even. Consider that not even a year ago, Isak posted couple pics with him and Sara. Consider that just a few months ago, he posted a fuckboy-ish meme: “If you can’t remember her name in the morning, take her to Starbucks.” Then Isak graduated to posting a picture of Even on his Instagram. It was Even by himself, though wearing Isak’s shirt. And now we have Isak and Even together, clearly affectionate, clearly unable to deny the nature of their relationship. I mean, we see in S4 that Sara was all EHHHHH??????? about this picture, very caught off guard that her ex is dating a dude. 

But this is one way that the social media format can add so much to the story! Isak’s character development is charted through his social media posts. It’s fantastic.

Also, it’s a nice bit of optimism, because Even is clearly out and about, so he’s doing a little better, too.

In a boy squad text, Magnus pitches his brilliant idea of an app that watches YouTube videos for you to save time. I genuinely have no idea what the point of that is. Is the app going to summarize the video for you? Anyway, clearly, not the world’s best idea but Isak jokes that Magnus should call NAV (the public welfare agency).

Isak asks if the boys are coming to the kosegruppa party. Magnus doesn’t even know if Isak is serious with that, but of course Isak is totally serious.

Mahdi and Jonas seem unenthusiastic and unsure about the party, but all Isak has to do is drop in that Vilde’s coming to the party, and Magnus is like, OK, done. Lmao, Isak. I love that Vilde was so concerned that the boys would have other plans and then all Isak has to say to Magnus is that Vilde will be there and it’s settled.

The last text message of the season is between Isak and Sonja, of all people. But I love that it is. Isak thanks her for her advice and wishes her Merry Christmas. It’s a kind gesture. Isak is appreciative of the people who’ve helped him, and he hasn’t forgotten that Sonja has helped him. He isn’t mad at her, he doesn’t have a grudge of anything. And Sonja replies back, Merry Christmas to you two as well. Apparently she is definitely clarifying that she means to the two of them, Isak and Even as a couple, and not just Isak. That’s also meaningful. She has accepted that Isak and Even are a duo now, it’s no longer Even and Sonja, it’s Isak and Even. I’m not saying she’s totally over it by now or anything, that she doesn’t have any remaining feelings for Even or anger or sadness over how their relationship ended, but she’s accepted it. I think it’s likely that this is possibly the last time Isak reached out for her, that he didn’t ask her for help after this (and Even seems mostly out of his dark period so Isak might not need help for a while, anyway, and by that time he might have talked to Even himself and been able to get more information out of him on what Even needs when he’s up or down). If this is the last time they talked, it’s a nice final message, both of them respectful, Sonja in the process of moving on.

I’m sure Even talked to Sonja himself at some point. I don’t know if they stayed in touch too much, but I’m sure they had to talk at least for practical reasons, like they probably had some of each other’s stuff that they had to return, things like that. And I think that they probably needed a final goodbye conversation just to clear the air between them. Maybe not right away, maybe they needed a little time, but hopefully they could talk it out so they didn’t have any lingering bitterness or anything. Even if their relationship went poorly in the end, they still had years together, and they were important to each other.

And our last IG post of the season: a group pic at the kosegruppa Christmas party. We have the complete boy squad (with Even!), girl squad, Eskild, Linn, Penetrator Chris, and three randos who are there to make it look like an actual club, I guess (fair enough!) One of them is Tarjei’s friend Rumen. Though it’s funny that almost half of these people are not even in kosegruppa. (Or so they think. Because the rest of the boy squad is definitely getting dragged into it.)

In the pic, Magnus gazes longingly at Vilde - was this picture before or after their hookup? Is he staring at Vilde still wondering how to approach her, or is he waiting for this photo session to be over so they can get to the bone zone already?

Magnus isn’t the only one doing some ogling. P-Chris eyeballs Eva, and who of us can blame him?

The randos seem like the appropriate people to be in kosegruppa; they’re making weird expressions and one of them wields a rolling pin as if she can administer a beating to the first taker. 

Eskild hugs Mahdi around the waist, and Mahdi seems pleased with this! Awww. Again, WHERE was my boy squad/Eskild content in the show? 

And finally, of course we have Isak and Even, looking casually cuddly, Even’s arms around Isak’s chest and Isak’s arms over Even’s. Being able to be together just like that. Merry Christmas, everybody.

I’m not sure what else I can say about this season that I haven’t said elsewhere throughout these reaction posts, so I guess I’ll be redundant: season three of Skam is a masterpiece. It really is. There is barely anything I would change, and honestly even the few criticisms I can make are very small, so much that they’re just tweaks and nitpicks rather than radical overhauls of the material. I’m completely fine with the season as is. A thousand times more than fine, actually.

I watched this season in real time, from the pool scene to episode 10, and all that time I was expecting something to go off the rails. I was expecting something to fall down and disappoint me, and instead this season never went wrong. In fact, it turned out better than I expected every single time. The writing was better. The acting was better. This beautiful relationship at the core of the season developed into the best romance I’ve seen on screen, with electric chemistry. The friendships and platonic relationships became vital to the season’s importance, each one of them different and fulfilling a unique purpose - Isak’s friendship with Jonas is not the same as his friendship with Sana is not the same as his friendship with Eskild. Isak himself is a wonderful character. Yes, he’s prickly and grumpy. Yes, sometimes he does stuff that isn’t kind or likable. Yes, he’s very flawed. But we saw him grow from a repressed, unhappy kid in the closet to an empathetic, determined young man living authentically as himself, able to reach out to others, apologize for his mistakes, and display all the goodness and love that he was capable of. Tarjei made Isak into someone I always rooted for, at his worst and at his best. That’s not to even go into the additional strengths of season three, such as the multifaceted symbolism and the dynamite soundtrack.

This last episode shows why Skam is such a wiser, kinder show than most. We get an ending that is realistic and not exactly a fairy tale - it’s not like Even’s mental illness is cured by love or that we’re supposed to think everything will be all right, always. But we get an ending that is highly optimistic about Isak’s future, and Isak and Even’s relationship. We get scenes of characters quietly understanding each other without words. We get scenes of characters apologizing to each other for past mistakes. We get scenes of characters encouraged to be themselves, and expressing happiness at being able to live like themselves. We get scenes and messages of characters taking care of each other. This is why I love Skam so much. This is why people gripped onto this show so tightly and why many still have not been able to let go. This is why you are reading this more than two years later.

Out of curiosity, I compiled these recaps and the word count from these S3 reactions is 136,721 words. So if you got through all of that, really, I fucking love you. 

Because I’m a cornball, I posted all of these S3 reactions at 21:21.

Thank you again for reading my S3 reactions! Alt Er Love ❤️