#i just remembered that i gotta book a taxi to take my cat to the sitter next week tho so that'll cost me a hand ough but its fine

[the-kipsabian]

..now i just gotta convince myself im gonna be okay money-wise lol

[nosferatvpussy]

distorted lullabies [chapter XIV]

Word count: 6,791

Warnings: vulgar language, angst (everyone saw it coming)

Pairing: Dracula x female reader

AO3 link

__________________________________________________________________________

“Y/N, are you awake?” Mallory asked.

I closed the book and peeked my head up from beneath the covers to look at her. Light attacked my eyes and I squinted for a brief moment, gathering the covers under my chin.

“Did you really need to switch on that light?” I sat up on the bed and blinked. “This one was doing its job just fine.” I pointed at the reading light next to me.

“You’ll grow wings and turn into a bat any day now.” She laughed, and I glowered. Turning into a bat could very well be a possibility. I hadn’t asked Dracula about that. There was a lot I hadn’t asked, and a lot that he probably wouldn’t tell me now. “A joke, Y/N. You still remember those?”

“Not sure I do,” I scoffed. “You look great. Are you going out with Sean?”

Mallory’s blonde locks laid in large curls around her shoulders – an hour of carefully applied curling iron, I’d say – and her makeup was soft in such a way that her eyes looked more almond shaped than round and innocent like they usually did. A beige trench coat covered her outfit but her legs were on display. Mallory favoured mini dresses so I presumed that was what she had on underneath.

“No, he’s being annoying, it’s just me and the girls. And don’t you change the subject. I don’t feel good about leaving you here.” She sighed. “You’re my guest and I’ll leave you here to go party? That’s not right, but if you come with… It’ll be fun, come on. I’ll wait for you if you go get ready. We’ll drink and dance, and maybe you’ll find someone else.”

Someone else to end up bitten by Count Dracula. Another lesson, like Mallory was, to remind me that I was his.

“No rebounds,” I muttered. “I’ll be fine. I don’t feel like dancing.” She frowned. “Mal, I’m incredibly thankful that you’re letting me stay here but you don’t have to feel like you need to cater to me. We lived together during uni. Don’t think of me as a guest, more like a flatmate, a very brief one. I’ll go back home in two days time”

Staying with Mallory was more her decision than mine. Days ago, she’d bought a last minute train ticket from Gloucester and returned with me to London when the Sun was still up in the sky. When the taxi dropped me off at my house, Mal asked the cabbie to wait and strolled up my stairs on weak knees and packed my bags for me, saying that I needed her. I simply watched as she threw my outfits and shoes inside a large suitcase. While I waited, listening to her go on about broken hearts and that’s what friends do, I’d noticed that my bedroom’s window was open; I didn’t remember leaving it like that. Maybe I was being paranoid but being paranoid was a better choice than being stupid and I’d afforded enough stupidity for a lifetime, so I let Mallory harbour me. Dracula had unlimited access to my house since I had invited him in and closed doors and windows were no hindrance to him, as he had proved. Mallory was my best bet of avoiding him and staying safe, for now, and I could keep an eye on her to make sure she would be truly okay.

Mallory acted like usual, her ramblings, her chipper attitude, her easy laughter at the silliest things. Mallory, as before. Mallory, my best friend from college. Mallory, who had a scar on the side of her neck just like mine and, therefore, wasn’t at all like before. All she’d asked me on the following day after the wedding was how we got all the way from Berkeley Castle to Gloucester and how much she had had to drink. As a test I’d asked how she’d gotten hurt and she looked at me, bewildered, and said “I got hurt?”. When Dracula told me she wouldn’t remember anything, I didn’t expect her to not remember a single thing. I’d prepared a lengthy explanation but threw it away in favour of Mal’s bite-induced amnesia. Even when I went to change the bandage on her neck, she barely acknowledged me and simply stared ahead with empty eyes. She didn’t seem to notice the bite when she looked in the mirror, but every day before leaving the house, without a fault, she wrapped a scarf around her neck as if covering it was instinctive. A useful little trick in Dracula’s sleeve, I presumed.

“Tomorrow marks ten days, right?” She asked and I nodded. She motioned for me to scoot over and flopped down on the bed. “Can I just say that it’s weird that he gave you an ultimatum?”

“I was the one who asked for time.”

“Still weird. I mean, it must have been a huge fight. You said he was massively pissed.” She trained her large eyes on me, like one of Diana’s cats did when it wanted food. “And I’ve never seen you like this, Y/N. I thought you’d open up if you stayed with me. You cried the whole trip back from Gloucester and now you won’t shed a tear. You won’t talk about him. You’re sulking, and you never sulk. For a day maybe, yeah, you’ll sulk and throw a pity party like you did when you broke up with Paul a few years back, but then you’ll make yourself busy.”

Back in Gloucester, during breakfast at my rented flat, Mal, with a wound on her throat and face as pale as her hair, insisted for me to tell her what had happened and why I couldn’t stop crying. I’d told her what I could: that I’d lied to him about something, he found out and did something terrible and wanted me to explain myself in 10 days.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Mal.”

“No, you never want to talk but that’s how you’ll heal. You’re on a rinse and repeat cycle of going to work, picking at your food, and then holing up in my guestroom with that poetry book. Where is it, by the way? Did you finally throw it away?”

I retrieved it from under the covers and set it on her lap. The book was warm to the touch. It slept with me, under the pillow or over my chest. Two days after the wedding, Mallory and I went to grab something to eat at a book cafe near our office. The cover, a large red rose overflowing from a jar as moths and butterflies decorated the edges, caught my eye and when I read the title announcing it to be a collection of Russian poetry, I instantly knew I had to have it. To find in those pages the tranquility I found inside Gloucester Cathedral; a moment in which I was wholly unreserved and Dracula had put his relentless pursuit of me on pause. A perfect memory in which I could have lived in forever.

“I thought you liked French poetry better,” Mallory said as she picked it up and opened it at random. “Why are you so obsessed with this book, anyway? Let’s see.” She took a deep breath and spit out the words on the page so fast that they barely sound like verses. “ I love you, I love you and as I rage at myself for this obsession, and as I make my shamed confession, despairing at your feet I lie, blah blah blah, my one reward for a day’s anguish comes when your, pale hand, love, I kiss. Okay, that part was nice.” She nodded in approval as her eyes skimmed down. “I dare not ask for love with all my many sins, both great and small, I am perhaps of love unworthy. God, that’s a bit depressing, isn’t it?”

“You found it!” The pages ruffled when I snatched the book from her hands.

“Found what?”

“But if feigned love, if you would pretend, you’d easily deceive me. For happily would I, believe me, deceive myself if but I could!” I completed as I read through the last lines. “You found it, Mal, you’re brilliant.”

“I just opened the book.” She shrugged. “Were you looking for this poem in particular?”

I nodded as I tried to read it from the start but my brain was foggy from sleep and the words weren’t making much sense.

“Oh my god,” Mal said and I looked up at her. “This has to do with Dracula, doesn’t it?”

“He recited it to me once. He told me it was Pushkin–”

“So you bought the book.” Mallory drew her eyebrows together.

“Well, I couldn’t remember the exact words to google them and I was curious– stop making that face.”

“What face?”

“The face you make when you watch Pride and Prejudice.”

She giggled.

“Your ten days are up tomorrow. What are you going to tell him?”

I closed the book and let it rest near my knee. “I don’t know what I’ll say,” I finally said in a shaky voice. “I really don’t.”

“Maybe if you tell me what happened, I can help.”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Both.”

The bond wouldn’t let me utter a word about the true issue surrounding the Count to her; I suspected the loophole I’d found with Renfield and Zoe was because they already had previous knowledge of Dracula’s nature.

Mallory took my hand.

“I wish you’d cry, at least I would know what to do.”

I squeezed her hand as my eyes fell on her neck. A crystal choker covered the bite. She should be the one crying because she didn’t remember, because she had a gash at her throat that she didn’t recognise and because a monster of a man had attacked her. I should be the one taking care of her, not the way around. That’s why I’d bargained with Count Dracula in the first place.

“I do cry but only when I wake up,” I confessed. “The tears just come out of nowhere as soon as I open my eyes and then dry up when I realise I’m awake.” My voice wobbled at the last word and I slapped the pillow next to me. “Oh, now they come. Shit.”

Mallory laughed at my frustration and made me lay my head on her lap. Tears fell in soft thuds to the duvet, running over my nose and eyes as Mallory smoothed my hair.

“It’ll be okay, lovey. He’ll understand if he likes you, whatever you did he’ll forgive–”

“He won’t, Mal.”

“He will, he’s gotta. I saw the way he looked at you.”

“Doesn’t mean anything. He was horrible. I don’t know how to begin to forgive him or if I can forgive him. He was nice to me and now I know that’s what mattered, that he was nice to me and only to me–” But he wasn’t nice just to me, he was also nice to Lucy. My chest constricted. “I don’t know if any of it was real or that he actually cares that he hurt yo– me,” I corrected. “He wants me as one wants precious jewels but that’s all it is. He wants to possess me.” The words were strung together between sobs. I barely understood myself so I knew Mal didn’t either but she still rubbed my shoulder to soothe me. “Why am I crying now? I’m done with crying and I don’t want to.”

I slammed a hand on the bed again but instead of the soft duvet, I found the book’s hard surface, and it hit me why I was crying.

From the moment I bought the book, I held onto it as if my life depended on it, skimming through pages during work breaks, sneaking glances at it during lunch, reading it faithfully yet slowly so it wouldn’t end too fast in search of that Pushkin stanza. I’d buried myself in Russian poetry, those biting words that hung on the edge of everyone’s lips, unsaid but that rang true, so I wouldn’t have to dwell on what to say. Perhaps those words would become mine and I wouldn’t have to say anything, not now or ever, and by some magic Dracula would understand. Then Mallory found the verses and I realised I still didn’t have the words. What did I have left to hold onto now that I didn’t need to search for Pushkin’s poem? The sweetness I searched for amidst the sting of my bitterness was gone and that moment in the cathedral wasn’t worth anything if Dracula killed me tomorrow.

Ten days wasted on poetry and in a moment that I would never have again. I wasn’t even sure if my voice would work when I tried explaining it to him. All I had planned was that I would tell him somewhere public in the hope that he still had enough scruples left to not kill me in front of witnesses.

“Diana called your phone when you were sleeping,” Mallory informed me as my sobs subsided. “Taking naps all afternoon and sleeping early won’t help you come up with an answer, you know.”

“It’s the only time when I don’t have to think about him.”

“You don’t dream about him?” She stopped playing with my hair for a second when I nodded and I felt a tug on a lock of hair. The slight resistance told me she was braiding my hair.  

“Just once since the wedding. I dreamt that he was driving and we were holding hands but then–” my hand was nearly crushed in his grip as he raised it to his mouth and tore my wrist open. Blood trickled down to his lap and a scarlet jet stained the windows. I smiled the whole time as he consumed me. “It wasn’t a good dream. Did you get Diana’s call?”

“Yeah. She’s worried about you, told me you only answered one of her calls since you came to stay with me. You have over 10 calls from your cousin, too.”

“My cousin?”

“Yeah, don’t you have a cousin in Manchester named Zoe?”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” I hadn’t spoken with my cousin for over two years and her number was saved only as ‘Zee’. “Did Zoe call when I was asleep?” I asked in a neutral tone. I ignored every call from Dr. Van Helsing and if Mallory had answered the phone thinking she was talking to my cousin–

“No, but she must be worried about you. Give her a call back,” she said.

“I will,” I breathed, relieved. Eventually, I would talk to Zoe and tell her that I was done with her – that is, if I survived Count Dracula. With that, rose the question of why Zoe was still alive. Wouldn’t Dracula have killed her?

“Diana said she’s going up to Glasgow for work in a couple of days and that she wants to see you before that. I told her we could all grab lunch Thursday.”

“All right.” I sniffled and started getting up slowly so Mallory wouldn’t accidentally pull my hair. “I’m getting in the way of your night out, Mal.”

“Did you actually think I was going out?” She looked at me in disbelief. “It’s Monday, Y/N, we have work tomorrow. More importantly, I would never leave you here and go drinking.” I frowned as I gestured at her made up face. “I’m wearing PJ’s under my coat. I got ready in the hopes that you would suddenly change your mind when you saw me leaving the house and decide to actually move your arse out of bed,” she explained. I snorted. “A-ha, that was a near laugh!”

“That was a shit strategy. And you knew it wouldn’t work since you didn’t bother to change clothes.”

“Well, I tried everything else.” She jumped out of bed and peeled off the trench coat, revealing butterfly print pyjamas. “Come to the living room. We’ll order hamburgers and watch something.”

She was already leaving the room as I slipped out from under the covers.

“No rom-coms!”

“I wouldn’t torture you like that!” She yelled back from the living room. “Is Harry Potter good enough for you?”

“Great.”

It was familiar enough for me to repeat the lines in sync with the character and keep me distracted. Tomorrow I would figure out how to tell Count Dracula. As I made the bed, I grabbed the book from under the pillow and fingered through the pages. Pushkin’s words didn’t jump out at me and I hadn’t memorised the page number when Mallory found it. For the best, probably.

I set the book aside and went to the living room when Mal called my name.

__________________________________________________________

“L/N, can I see you before you go?”

Talbot’s voice made Mallory and I stop on the way to the lift; my mobile chimed inside my purse and my fingers tightened around the purse’s strap. Another chime reached my ears as I turned back to meet Talbot with Mal on my heels. Whether she had followed me because a partner was summoning me and it was a good opportunity for her to be noticed or because she was fairly acquainted with my phone’s chimes and particularly what they meant today, I didn’t know, but I was glad to have her at my side anyway.

Golden orange sunlight refracting through a window hit my face when I stopped before Talbot and I forced myself to breathe properly. I still had a couple more minutes, an hour if I was being optimistic, before the sun went down and I had to meet Dracula, who didn’t seem to pay much attention to it; he had been texting me since four in the afternoon.

“Yes?” The word was strangled.

Talbot’s severe face didn’t seem to notice my anxious tone and simply nodded at Mallory before settling his cataract ridden eyes on me.

“Do you have anything on your schedule tomorrow at 3pm?”

“No, I don’t think I do, sir. Why?”

“I need you in court.” He handed me a thick manila folder he had hidden behind his back.

“A new case?” I took the file automatically. “But sir, I’m already flooded with them. And court tomorrow? I won’t have the time to prepare–”

“Of course you’ll have time to prepare. You’ll have the rest of the day and night, and tomorrow until three. Pulling all-nighters is part of every good attorney’s job.”

I smothered an offended huff.

“I’m aware, sir.” I paused, and my phone chimed again. I could feel my pulse on my throat. “Unfortunately, I have a commitment tonight and I can’t take this case. Mallory will gladly take it in my pla–”

“I’m sure Miss Nowak would do a wonderful job,” he considered her briefly “but this case can only be taken care of by you. It was originally Miss Grisham’s, your colleague, but she had to go under an emergency surgery yesterday – wicked things, spleens, don’t you think? – and the Judge on this case refused to reschedule a court date.” He scoffed. “Apparently, Grisham had already been granted several reschedules and Judge Llewellyn won’t have it again, which is precisely why this case must be yours. As I understand you have a win inside Llewellyn’s courtroom, which might bode well for you– for us at the firm. Llewellyn is notoriously a difficult man and I hear he’s been mouthing good things about you. No one in this office has ever won before him, except for you and Renfield.”

My phone started ringing loudly and I gave my purse a thwack as if that would shut it up. Talbot eyed my purse.

“Sir, like I said, I have a personal engagement that I can’t dismiss. It’s best that I don’t take a new case. Give it to Mallory, she’ll do as good a job as I would and then this firm will have three lawyers with wins before Llewellyn.”

A new case meant I would have to prepare an opening statement, not to say I would have to spend countless hours studying every small detail to not be stomped to the ground by the prosecutor. The remaining sunlight only gave me a few more minutes to work out my own closing statement – the very last closing statement I would do in my life, perhaps, considering it was entirely dependent on Count Dracula’s verdict – if I took that case I would have to neglect it in favour of my own troubles.

“You’ll take it.”

“Sir, I can’t–”

“Don’t be ridiculous, L/N,” argued Talbot. “If your engagement has anything to do with your phone’s incessant noise–” as if by command, the tune stopped “–then turn it off. Whatever it is, it can be rescheduled. This case cannot.”

Rage built up my chest; I could swallow it down before it reached my throat but the lump there wouldn’t let it pass as easily as it would allow it to burst out. And I didn’t want to swallow it down so more rage could merge with heartache. I’d had enough with rage and I wouldn’t let Talbot bully me into something that I couldn’t do in the benefit of his own interests.

“Any lawyer here would be happy to do it. I can’t,” I said as I offered him the file back. He opened his mouth to protest and didn’t accept the manila folder. “You don’t understand, you absolute c–”

“She’ll take it,” Mallory intervened, squeezing my arm and interrupting whatever name I was about to call him. One of Talbot’s eyes twitched as he evaluated me and he rose his chin, nodding at Mal for the interruption.

“I see Nowak has managed to keep her sense. I hope she’ll teach you some.” He gestured towards the lift. “You may go. Do not disappoint me, L/N.” He turned on his heel and disappeared inside his office.

I started stalking after him, picturing his outraged face when I threw the file on his desk, but Mal jerked me back.

“Are you crazy?” She shook me. “You almost called a partner the c-word–”

“You can say he’s a cunt, it’s not like it’s a lie.”

“Y/N!” She exclaimed, looking around us as if to check if anyone had heard that. “Being angry won’t solve your crap, and you can’t just shrug off work because of a relationship. Focus. Dracula is just a guy but this is your job. If he’s right for you he’ll understand.  It’s not like he’ll die if he waits one more day so you two can talk.”

I stared out the window. My phone chimed, and then started ringing. The sun was still up and I wagered it would stay that way until I went home. As soon as it was dark, Dracula would be there. I could propose a meeting spot but I’d made enough demands – he had said so himself. He was done making concessions for me, and if I said one thing, one thing that didn’t please him, that sounded off to his ears, he would probably tear open my neck and leave me to die by myself on the quietness of my home. There were plenty of things in my speech that needed adjustments to prevent that, several things, actually, that I wasn’t sure I had worded properly. And I hadn’t rehearsed anything, either.

“You know you’re not mad at Talbot,” Mallory said, as though she knew I was pondering the situation. “Dracula will understand.”

My phone stopped ringing and then started shortly after.

“He won’t stop calling until I answer him,” I said. But I’d already made my decision. I’d made it the moment Mallory said I would take the case.

“Then turn off your phone. You’ll concentrate better. I’ll even help you,” she offered. I glanced at her. “I can see in your face that you’re dreading going home. You can stay at my house one more night, or how many more you want, and I’ll help you study your case. You’ll worry about Dracula tomorrow after the court session with Llewellyn , okay?”

Working this case was a perfectly reasonable excuse not to answer his calls and texts. It was good enough for me but I knew it wouldn’t be good enough for Dracula. It would give me more time to work on what to say, although I had the feeling that nothing I said would ever be good enough for him.

What did matter if he had to wait one more day? I was dead anyway.

“Okay,” I finally said. Mal smiled at me. I didn’t have the strength to retribute it.

“Text him and say you’ll see him tomorrow.”

I fished my phone out of my purse. The name ‘Count Dracula’ blinking on the screen made me frown. I pressed the button next to the screen until it went fully black.

“My phone battery is dead for all he cares.” I dumped the phone back in my purse. “Let’s go, Mal. Quickly. He’ll come here looking for me when he realises I’m not picking up.”

______________________________________________________________

Count Dracula tilted his head as he watched the man crawl between tables, shoulders clumsily bumping into a table leg as he tried to hide. Sobs escaped his mouth. Dracula pushed one of the bodies at his feet with the heel of his shoe as the man shrunk into the darkness beneath the table. The man’s ragged breathing made the Count’s bloodstained lips twitch. He made a show of looking around the blackened interior of the pub, putting weight into his strides so the floorboards would creak as he stepped over another body, pretending that he couldn’t see him in his hiding place.

This game of hide-and-seek never failed to amuse the Count but it wasn’t as fun in an enclosed space such as this. It made him miss his castle. If it was his castle, he would throw the man into one of the dungeon’s cells to play with him another moment. But here, in a London pub where he had already engorged himself until his cheeks were ruddy, he only had so much time before sunrise. He wasn’t thirsty anymore and he would have to go home soon to rest his head again, only to be assailed by dreams of Y/N.

“I won’t hurt you,” Dracula declared, throwing his head back. The low ceiling had beer stains. The cleaning staff, the one dead at his feet, must not do a very good job of cleaning the place. “You can come out.”

A whimper came from under the table but the man made no attempt to reveal himself. Dracula waited for a few seconds to give him a chance and then crossed the distance between them and lifted the table. Wide brown eyes filled with mindless fear stared up at Count Dracula in a skinny face.

“Get up,” the Count demanded and discarded the table to the side, leaving the man without his illusion of protection. “Come sit with me.” He took a seat at a table at the centre of the pub and snatched a napkin from it. Red gloves of blood left stains on every white napkin he touched. The man – boy, from the looks of him – just watched and Dracula flicked dark eyes toward him. “Now.”

Slowly, so very slowly, the boy stood up and took small steps toward the table. He threatened to snap in half like a twig from all his shaking. Count Dracula motioned for him to take a seat as he wiped his face and hands with napkins. The boy sat.

“I think…” Dracula began. “No. What would you do in my place?”

“W-what?”

“I gave her ten days. Today is Tuesday, the tenth day, and she wasn’t at her house. She won’t answer my calls and my texts. She was at her office today but left early according to–” what was the woman’s name? Caroline? Christine? Camille? Ah, Chelsea. She’d slipped him her number before he left the office at Canary Wharf. He would have considered keeping it, if only to feed from her, but Y/N wouldn’t like that. Ten days could stretch into twenty or a month if he fed from Chelsea. “She’s avoiding me. What would you do?”

The boy stared at him, mouth opening and closing several times as he tried to formulate an answer. He glanced at the parade of dead bodies around them and then back at Count Dracula.

“Um, who is– hm. W-why is she av-voiding you?”

Dracula nodded, smiling lightly. He was impressed that the boy had managed to restrain his fear for a while but he knew very well the boy was merely entertaining him until he started bargaining for his life. They always did.

“I did something,” said Dracula.

“This kind of something?” He gestured with his head toward the body closest to them and then his face turned red and shuddered.

“No.” He frowned. “Worse, I think. I don’t know, to be perfectly honest. What matters is that she’s avoiding me. I gave her ten days and she said we would talk. She said she knew not to flee. I can hunt for her but–” He threw the used napkins on the table, giving up on making himself presentable. There wasn’t any point to it with six bodies strewn metres away from him. “I don’t want to hunt what’s mine. She should come willingly.”

“Yeah,” the boy drew out. “But maybe she needs more time? I don’t know what you did, man, but if it was worse than this–”

“I bit her friend,” Dracula admitted.

The boy gaped.

“I– I’m sure you had a good reason to.”

“Are you?”

“I only mean–” he said, hunching his shoulders. “I mean, I… I don’t know?”

Count Dracula tipped in his chair and balanced himself so he could lever his feet on the table and cross them. Black leather shoes with small rounded dents at the tips shone at him. He hadn’t worn another pair since the wedding, when Y/N’s heels left those prints there. He didn’t know what that meant. He only knew that he couldn’t remember Y/N’s smile with the same clarity that he could remember her face stricken with black tears.

“Did she cheat on you?” The boy tried.

Dracula laughed mirthlessly.

“In a manner, but she assured me that she had stopped.”

“So, uh, why did you kill her friend?”

“I didn’t kill Mallory. I bit her, that’s all.” He’d bitten her without Y/N’s explanation, which he still didn’t have. “Do you think I exaggerated?”

“Um– uh, no?”

“I don’t like liars.”

“I’m sorry. Sorry.” The boy rubbed his nose. “My name is Trent.” Dracula’s eyebrows furrowed as he tried to understand the relevance of that. “I’m only 19. I live in Whitechapel with my parents and sisters. I’ve got three cats–”

“Why are you telling me this?” Dracula glared at him. And then chuckled. “Oh, are you attempting to sensitize me about who you are so I won’t kill you? I’ve seen that on TV. People have been using that trick for centuries, too. It’s never worked on me. In fact, I think it’s kind of fun. First name basis is important, isn’t it? Makes things more intimate when I kill you.” He bared his teeth at the boy in a grin. “I asked you a question, Trent.”

“You said you wouldn’t hurt me.”

The words echoed. Y/N had said the same. Dracula massaged the bridge of his nose.

“I changed my mind. Maybe it’ll change again if you answer me.”

Trent shook violently again and started rocking back and forth in his seat.

“I forgot what you asked me.”

“Do you think I exaggerated?” Dracula repeated. The boy looked around them. “Not about this. I know you might believe this is a bit much but it helps me not to think. However, I’m in need of a good talk now. So amuse me, Trent. Do you think I shouldn’t have bitten Mallory?”

“Uh. This other girl you've been talking about… Do you fancy her?” Trent’s thin eyebrows arched, trying to summon a serious expression. Dracula merely bobbed his head. “And you said she’s, huh, yours.” He looked at Dracula and he nodded again. “From what you’re telling me, you want her back. If she’s avoiding you, maybe she’s scared?” His eyes widened as if he realised he’d said something wrong. “Or, or, or! Or maybe she’s waiting for an apology?” He shrugged. “Did you try talking to her, eh, before you bit this Mallory bird?”

The Count ignored the last question.

“She owes me an apology.”

“Yeah, sure she does,” the boy agreed. “But don’t you think you oughta apologise, too? I mean… uh. I don’t know. I’ve never been cheated on but I don’t think biting someone is the right way to go about it.”

Maybe not.

Maybe if he had asked Y/N about it, he wouldn’t have to wait ten days to speak to her. If he had, she wouldn’t have cried. It could have been a terribly simple explanation and she would have kissed him again. Maybe he wouldn’t have gone on a murder rampage for the last days to keep memories of Y/N from permeating his every dream and thought.

Or, and it was just as likely, it wasn’t simple at all. She had learnt how to lie to him. He was certain that she could have lied about everything. It could all have been an act to fool him – the sudden interest in the taste of blood, her questions about his life before a vampire and after, her rare ability to see through him sometimes, the gleam in her eyes at the cathedral… The kiss. But the utter betrayal in her face, the acrid smell of fear, how her voice trembled as she wept, those weren’t false. When she said yes to him, covered in her friend’s blood with her dress ruined and hair in shambles, he knew she had spoken the truth. She had no other reason to lie after what he had done. And now, he found himself doubting if everything else was not all lies.

It didn’t matter.

He had destroyed it. And he knew that if he could go back in time to fix it, he would have done it all the same. She confused him. She had made a fool out of him like no one else had in half a millennia, and she would make a fool out of him for the next millennia as well. Despite what she had done, she was his, whether she liked it or not. He was willing to wait a few more days for her to come to him.

Count Dracula massaged the bridge of his nose again.

“Thank you, Trent.”

The boy’s heart drummed, his blood streaming inside of him in rapid currents. Dracula could hear the noise it made, like a wind howl against a window.

“Are you gonna let me go?”  

“Yes, I will.” He flashed the boy a quick smile. “Although you haven’t been much help, I’m feeling merciful right now.” Trent exhaled a shaky breath and started getting up. “One last thing” – the boy looked up at that, watery brown eyes filled with alarm again – “you didn’t say… what would you do in my place?”

“Uhh–” he paused, panic flaring up and making the drumming in Dracula’s ears become louder. “Show that you care? Apologise if you want her back. She’ll apologise, too.” Dracula just stared. “Or do something nice for her. Especially nice.” Trent sniffled. “That’s what my dad does when my mum is mad at him, and it works.”

Trent waited as Dracula nodded, and then started shuffling across the pub in a slow pace as if he was doing his best not to draw attention.

He eyed the dents on his shoes and felt Y/N’s lips on his. He couldn’t wait five or ten years to feel them again and in order to have that, he would have to make amends. But then he thought of all the lies again and the taste of Mallory’s blood pouring down his throat and all the memories that came with it. A pungent reminder of how unreasonable he had become since meeting Y/N.

Trent was almost at the exit door.

“On second thought!” He called, planting both feet on the slippery red floor. The boy turned around to look at him and Count Dracula bared sharp teeth as he stood up from his seat. “I feel like having dessert.”

The boy ran.

His fingers brushed the doorknob but didn’t manage to grip it. Dracula blocked the way. Trent squealed and his entire body trembled in such force that the Count thought he could hear his bones rattling. He smiled at that and grabbed the boy’s shoulder to stop him from scuttling away.

Trent was as pale as a sheet, so much so that it was difficult to make out defining features on his face, but the shapeless, quivering thing on his face was most definitely a bottom lip moving as his teeth chattered.

“Ah, don’t be like that. I’ll make it quick, as a thanks.” Dracula stroked the boy’s cheek, pointed nails grazing the skin, and he shuddered. “Truly, you gave me quite the idea. But you see, it’s almost dawn, and I need a last bedtime snack to clear my head. You just so happen to be nearby.”

“Please, I–”

“No, no, no, no. Begging won’t get you anywhere and I’ve heard enough of ‘please’ tonight. I’ll make it quick and you won’t beg. Are we agreed?” He cocked an eyebrow. Trent shut his eyes and nodded. Dracula patted his face. “Good boy.”

Dracula turned Trent’s face to the side. He was met with no resistance as he lowered his head to tear through the soft flesh on the boy’s neck. Trent stopped trembling as Dracula’s teeth slashed deep and blood flowed inside his mouth. Memories started materialising but he ignored it and allowed himself to be swept away until nothing else invaded his mind except the taste of blood, its warmth cascading over his body and leaving him no choice but to be inundated with unrestrained elation.

He swallowed hurriedly and, in no time, the flow became sluggish and he began taking it less urgently. If he drank too fast, he would miss it. He waited for it to come as one waits for the first rain to pour, waits for it to wash remains, and to bring restoration. Ecstasy flitted across his deepest thoughts only to be replaced with perfect numbness. Sublime anesthesia and a brief glimpse into the true death he would never feel.

The emptiness he sought, the complete erasure of all thoughts, was the one thing that brought him relief and wiped the image of Y/N’s face. Her rancour and her grief that turned those eyes cruel to cut through him when she saw him with Mallory but, worst of all, the resignation that made her voice docile, almost cowed when she begged him for time. It touched something in him. Something that made him desperate to get rid of it, so abnormal was this sensation, that his only solution was to engorge himself with blood.

Only she had this effect on him. Usually he was picky with his food, choosing when should each dish be savoured and in which order. All it took for that to change was for Y/N to look him in the eye at the Victoria and Albert Museum and say that taking her there was the nicest thing someone had ever done for her. And he simply couldn’t understand that, couldn’t understand he had enjoyed knowing that, that he had enjoyed making her happy, and that he was possibly growing infatuated by her. Not in the way he had grown attached to Agatha or Johnny. It was entirely different; a foreign feeling. It had driven him to feast on a board of directors in an attempt to obliterate the memory. And it had worked for a little while but each time she managed to pull at his control until he wasn’t sure if he had any control whatsoever.

Dracula dropped Trent’s lifeless body.

The anesthesia had faded and here he was, thinking of Y/N again.

He groaned in frustration, wiped his chin and left the darkened pub with its new decor of blood carpets and artfully painted walls.

.

.

.

Taglist: @festering-queen​ @feralstare​ @rheabalaur​ @a-dorky-book-keeper​ @thorin-smokin-shield​ @dreamer2381​ @illbegoinhome​ @girlonfireice​ @deborahlazaroff​ @saint-hardy​ @mr-kisskiss-bangbang​ @iwasjustablur​ @princessayveke​ @vampirescurse​ @crossoverqueen89​ @blue-serendipity​ @sunscreenfeverdream​ @25ocurer​ @daydreaming136​ @hello-itsbarbie​

[hobicomeholla29]

‘Perfect Timing’ - One-Shot

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Crack/ Fluff

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: curse words

A/N: Unedited cuz it’s 2AM/Gotta thank my fav beta reader @sugaa-sugaaa​ for bearing with me and my shenanigans

Summary: Tae and his girlfriend want time off bangtan but does bangtan want the same? AKA Jimin is petty xD

Masterlist

~°•☆•°~°•☆•°~°•☆•°~°•☆•°~°•☆•°~°•☆•°~°•☆•°~

"Are you ready?" You whispered to him.

"Ready!" He whispered back.

 The time on your phone read 2:30AM. The perfect time for sneaking out of a house full of 20 something year-olds, who want to spend their time-off together with their best friends at a secluded country club, but one of them wanted to escape the place, to spend that time with his girlfriend.

 "Ow! Tannie! That was my finger!"

"Shhh! Don't yell at Tannie and hurry up!"

Usually Yeontan doesn't bite, but Taehyung had been bribing him with a beef jerky, so he wouldn't bark, as you guys made your way through the house. You both swung your backpacks over your shoulder, phones in your pocket and Tannie in arms.

 Taehyung's room was the last in corridor, which meant that you had to walk by all of the other boy's rooms in order to make it to the stairs and to the front door, to then walk to the main gate and get in the uber that would be arriving soon to take you to the airport.

 You turned the knob for the door and pulled it open, making sure you made little to no noise.

You were aware of the creaking sound all the doors in this house made when they were being opened or closed and it the middle of the night, someone was bound to hear it.

You fully exited the room, making sure your step is inaudible and soon after Taehyung followed with Yeontan in his arms as he clicked the door closed behind him.

 In front of you, a long hallway with 4 doors to each side, remained. On each side of the hall, one of the doors was a bathroom and the remaining ones were bedrooms.

 The first doors you walked by, were Jungkook’s to the left and Hoseok’s to the right. You are almost certain that Hoseok was knocked the heck out, but Jungkook might have been up late.

 You signaled Taehyung to wait until you went first, that way you could check if any lights could be seen coming from under the door.

You went past the door without a problem and so did Tae right after.

 The next 2 doors were Namjoon’s to the left and Jin’s to the right. Both were dangerous. Jin could be gaming and Namjoon could be reading or producing or writing or whatever a Kim Namjoon does with his free time at 2:00AM.

 Tae made a sign, stating he would go first, since he could recognize if there was any shuffling behind the doors better than you could.

He signed once more that the coast was clear, and you quickly ran to his side.

 The next 2 doors were easy. They were both bathrooms, however right after them, the last two doors remained, where Yoongi and Jimin slept. Yoongi to the left and Jimin to the right.

 Right when you were a little past the bathroom and sighing in relief.

*Bark-bark*

Your eyes widened and searched for Tea's, whose features matched your expression.

You heard noise coming from one of the doors you had already passed by and started to panic.

 You bumped into each other twice, frantically shifting around as you thought about what to do.

Suddenly you felt like you were being pulled back, you yelped a little and your mouth was quickly covered by a hand.

Taehyung had pulled you both into the bathroom and locked yourselves inside.

Almost instantly a knock came from the door.

 "Tae? Are you in there?"

Jin.

 He cleared his throat before answering.

 "Ye-Yeah!"

"Is Yeontan with you?"

"Yeah! Sorry if he woke you up."

"Nah, it's ok. I just thought he was out here alone."

"O-oh okay"

"Alright. Night Tae!"

"Night hyung."

 Once you both heard the door to his room click. You sighed and he dropped his hand from your mouth.

 "You know, we wouldn't have to be doing this, if you knew how to say no once in a while."

"I tried babe, but Guk was being whiny."

 You rolled your eyes at him and turned to open the door. Taehyung's hand stopped you, stating he should go first to make sure Jin was back in his room and you guys had a free path.

You nodded once to agree with his planned and looked at the time on your phone once more.

 2:40AM

 You watched as half of his body stayed within the bathroom while the other half peeked around the hallway.

Once he was sure you were good, he offered you his hand to hold and swiftly pulled you out of the bathroom.

By now you only had two more doors to go plus the stairs.

 Jimin and Yoongi had been easier than you had initially thought, and you were soon at the top of the stairs.

Ready to bolt for the front door, you skipped down the steps, freedom showing in your stride, however midway down the staircase, you noticed the light in the den was on, making you halt abruptly. The sudden stop caused Taehyung to crash into you and drop Yeontan, who squeaked and ran straight to the den.

 "Oh, hey boy! What are you doing down here all by yourself?"

 Jimin.

 You looked at Tae furrowing your brows as he whisper-argued back that that it was your fault for stopping randomly on a flight of stairs.

 "Stop yelling, give me your bag and go get Tan. I'll sneak out through the door in the kitchen. Meet me by the side gate."

 Taehyung nodded once, then proceeded to remove his backpack and hand it to you as he walked towards the den and you made your way towards the kitchen.

 "Oh! Taehyung! What are you doing up so late?" The young man asked your boyfriend, as he walked into the room where the light was coming from.

 This was your opportunity to dash to the kitchen and head for the back door, however not before hearing the rest of the conversation.

 "I was in the bathroom and Tan ran down here...."

 A pregnant minute went by before anyone said anything else and your nerves were starting to buzz, making you want to bite at your nails as a coping method.

 "You're ditching us.... aren’t you?" Jimin’s voice was firm yet calm.

 "I...I...." Taehyung stumbled at his words, probably trying to think of something to deny the statement.

 "Where is she? Y/n noona, stop hiding and get here... No one goes to the bathroom in jeans and a cap." You could almost see him giving you that smartass eyebrow-raise, face-palming at his sentence. Neither of you had thought about that.

 "Heard that..."

 You sighed deeply and slowly walked towards the den. Stupid Jimin, why he gotta be so clever at 2 AM

 As you made yourself enter the room, Jimin sat with his legs crossed on the grey sofa, while Taehyung stood stiffly in front of him with Tan now back in his arms.

 He wasn't looking at you, his eyes were trained on is book, simultaneously placing a bookmark on the page where he had probably ended before your interruption.

 His glasses rested at the end of his nose, while he glanced at you from over the top of the specs.

 "Hi Jimin..."

“Ah~ She finally shows her face.”

 You gave Jimin a tight guilty grin and adjusted the backpacks on your shoulder.

 “So…where are you going?”

 He addressed both of you, but Taehyung threw a glance your way, just to see your reaction before answering.

Your face remained stoic. Jimin was getting no info out of you. He would sell it to Jungkook for 20 bucks and ship him there himself.

 “I’m sorry Jimin-ie, we can’t tell you that. You’ll let the others know…”

 In your head you were squealing. Yes, Tae!

 “I mean, I could wake all of them now…”

“You wouldn’t…would you? We are soulmates…”

 A slight change in demeanor flew past Jimin’s profile, however it soon returned to his playful ways, his eyes closing slightly as a cheshire cat smile appeared on his lips.

 “Ok. Tae… since you are my soulmate…I won’t lie to you. I’m telling.” You both froze in place, your hand quickly reaching your boyfriend’s to brace yourself for what was to come.

“However, I’ll give you guys some advantage…Are you ok with that y/n noona?” Now he was looking at you directly. That punk.

 “What’s the advantage, Jimin-ie?” You asked a bit afraid of his little games.

Tae squeezed your hand a bit, reassuring you that everything would be fine.

 “I’ll give you guys 3 hours before I let everyone know you are gone.”

 You both checked your phones. The time read 3:00AM.

You had already wasted way too much time trying to get out of this dumb house, there was no other option but to take his offer.

 “Fine.” You muttered under your breath.

 “I’m sorry, what was that noona?”

 “I said that’s fine.” The uber was already outside, the driver had texted you while you dealt with this situation and you quickly answered you were going to be right there.

 “Well the clock is ticking…tick-tock, Tae Tae and y/n.” He said giggling, as he returned to his spot on the sofa and back to his book.

 You quickly pulled Tae by the hand and intertwined your fingers.

“Next time I see that miniature of a human, I’m glazing his donuts with mayo.” You murmured.

 “What was that babe?”

“Nothing, get running the uber is here.”

--

The exit from the house and the gates were seamless. You ran to the uber and apologized to the driver for wasting his time as you headed towards the airport.

Check-in at the airport was smooth and so was boarding.

The time on your phone showed.

5:00AM

 All was going as planned and you could not be happier.

Once you arrived at your destination. You felt safer. A whole country separating you guys from the rest of your friends.

Quickly catching a taxi to the bus terminal, you remembered why you wanted to bring Tae to that place. It was a secluded set of islands you had once seen online. They promised peace, quiet and privacy, while still having the basic needs nearby and there was little to no risk of other people finding you, AKA the rest of Bangtan.

You bought your tickets for the bus and once you were called for boarding, you were once again sitting in comfortable seats, resting your legs.

The drive was nearly 5 hours, however the gift that you received the moment you arrived, was worth all the troubles taken to get there.

The time was now 

2:00PM

Several small buildings decorated the end of the land portion and where land ceased to exist, docks connected it to the sea. All buildings had different colors that created a friendly atmosphere for tourists.

 You could see several speedboats coming and going, bringing people from the different islands that could be seen in the horizon.

 “Y/n...” That was the reaction you were hoping to get. His eyes so shiny and wide, full of wonder.

“Beautiful, right?”

 You walked hand in hand towards the building suggested by the bus driver and purchased tickets for the speedboats that would take you to your designated island, which was apparently named Dragon island and was one of the largest locations.

 The speedboats were larger than you thought. Fitting at least 6 people per boat.

Chairs were built-in for a comfortable trip and a small space was created in the back for luggage to be placed.

Your baggage was soon secured and in no time, you were headed towards the little island that would be your secret lair for the next 2 weeks,

The trip was nearly 30 minutes, waves causing the journey to be a bit bumpy, but nothing you couldn’t handle.

The Island was remarkably similar to the place where the docks were located.

Colorful buildings everywhere, they ranged from restaurants, to shops and bars and the owners seemed to live on the top part of the building, so cozy. The best part of it all, was you surrounded by the beautiful ocean and the golden sand under your feet as you held the hand of your bestest boy.

 Now it felt like a vacation.

 You were guided to a small golf cart where your backpacks were placed and ready to go.

The driver sat upfront, while you and Tae sat in the back.

The warm breeze felt so nice on your skin and you watched little kids run around and other tourists stroll the streets.

Beside you, Taehyung took pictures of everything that went by him. The sky, the people, the food stands, other golf carts, you.

“Do you know how much I love you right now?!” He was so excited, he wouldn’t stay put, causing the driver to chuckle a bit.

“Is that what it takes to make you love me more? Do you wanna go to the Bahamas next year?” You laughed and so did the driver once more.

 “Is it your first time here?”

“Yes!” You both replied excited.

The man ended up being very helpful, giving you suggestions on places to visit, food to taste and even the best places where to take amazing pictures.

 Kim Taehyung was stoked!

 “Thank you very much Sir!”

“You are very welcome! Enjoy your stay!”

 Now finally in your villa and ready for a day of relaxation after so much traveling.

 3:00PM

You and Tae swiftly changed and headed for the water while Yeontan stayed in the villa.

The water was warm, helping you relax even further.

Your boyfriend took this time to do what he had been missing for so long. Being as lovey-dovey as possible.

He wrapped your legs around him and swam aimlessly as he carried you, he gave you ‘exfoliating’ massages with sand, he intertwined your fingers together to pull you closer when you went too far away from him and he kissed you softly for hours whispering sweet nothings in your ears.

“I love you…I love you so much.” He said between kisses as he placed your arms around his neck.

“I love you too…more than you know.”

The first night had been a success. You had a 5-course gourmet meal arranged for you at the villa and accompanied it with fruit punch, because that’s what you and Tae liked.

 7:00PM

--

The morning after was still filled with bliss. Your boyfriend cuddling you as if you were going to escape, but you never complained. In fact, you liked it when he clinged to you in his sleep.

You stretched over him in bed to check for the time on your phone.

 10:00AM

 “Tae…Baby…Wake up. We should get breakfast.”

 You had no rush, so you let him take his time to get out of bed. Once you were both up and ready to go, the time was closer to lunch than to breakfast.

Tae had remembered the words of the driver the day before and decided to go there for lunch, since it wasn’t very far from your villa.

 --

1:00PM

 Once in the small restaurant, you headed towards a table near the back, while Taehyung placed your orders.

He returned faster that you had expected.

 “They only had pineapple or orange?”

“Pineapple please.”

 He went back to finish placing the order and returned to the table you had chosen.

--

You both enjoyed your food as you talked about the activities you wanted to do for the rest of the day.

Now with a plan set and a small list in mind, you stand and get ready to head out of the establishment, however in your carelessness, you had hit someone with the door.

 “Oh my gosh! I am so sorry; I didn’t mean t-” You began to apologize.

 2:00PM

 “That’s ok Noona. We’ve been looking for you.” You know that voice.

 “Jungkook?!” Tae just had to confirm it.

“If he’s here then-”

“Has no one ever told you, you should turn of your GPS, Y/n Noona?”

 You turned around slowly, fire in your eyes.

“I’ll give you 10 seconds Park Jimin…10…9…”

“Why are you guys even here?” Tae asked addressing Jungkook.

“Hyung said it would be fun to make noona miserable and that 2 o’clock would be the perfect timing…”

“Why though-” The rest of Taehyung’s question is cut short as you returned fuming.

“The rest of our friends are also here!” And like magic they all started appearing from behind her.

“Surprise!”

 “I hate 2:00 O’clock!”

[blindrapture]

a union-mandated break post

(okay, let’s see if I can type this all over again after losing the post. gotta remember how it all went.)

Hey there, the few mutuals who Like all of my posts, the lurkers who occasionally make their presence known, the lurkers who I also hope are there, and all you folks who come across this post naturally before scrolling on (that’s fine too, please have a nice day! remember to take a deep breath and unclench!). I wanted to make a post giving a casual update.

Things have been going. You know how it is. Time proceeds onwards at a pace that is a crawl to some and fleeting to others, depending on relative perspective. The average of all these observations may be Objective Truth, a hazy mythical and abstract prospect which to this day no living human has ever known (due to the nature of perspective). We still try to know it for some reason, an endeavour which may be “a good thing” or “a condemnation of our species,” but that’s relative too. See above. Still, it is possible to take an approximation of what we figure this average to be and find ourselves (mis)balanced on a knife-edge in between all perspectives. This narrow path, the knife-edge between fast and slow, between good and bad, between ecstasy and despair, seems precarious at times, yet at other times is like a garden, wide and spacious enough to sit awhile. Our perspectives cover this garden from us with the shrubbery of Can’ts and Shouldn’ts, and the way to the garden is fraught with the misty cloud of Look-Like. And yet, ultimately, these shrubs and mists are but prismatic scenery colouring our time on this Earth, a perspective which is easy to see from within the garden. The Earth is brown and grey and immortal, though wearing an impermanent coat of blue and green. One day, we will slip out of our perspectives and return to the Earth, join her mounding’s mass, and that will be death.

So that’s the weather. Sometimes cold, sometimes mild, sometimes wet, sometimes dry, sometimes bothersome and sometimes the only backdrop I could ever want. I’ve been up to the usual, cycling between interests like a bat between haunts.

- The other day I got around to playing Smile For Me, an experience which took me about three hours to more-or-less complete 100%. Really cute game, I fell in love with all the characters, and the budding horror elements made me excited to see where it’d go.

- Currently I’m playing A Monster’s Expedition Through Puzzling Exhibitions, a game often cited in the same breath as Baba Is You and Stephen’s Sausage Roll. I think those two games are puzzle masterpieces, and A Monster’s Expedition is hitting me in the right spot. It frequently fills me with awe, which is impressive considering the game is just a long series of oblong block-pushing puzzles. It has scope, though, and it has the guts to hide that scope from you until you’re able to discover it for yourself. I’ve played for about 10 hours so far, beaten over 200 islands, and yet I feel I’m only getting further away from the end goal. Hard to describe. It’s a good game.

- When I’m done with that game, next I’ll be checking out Spelunky 2. I’ve wanted to try the original for a long time but never got around to it; I picked up the sequel. I know very little about the games (with a rough idea of what gameplay is like), and I intend to keep it that way for as long as I can. I like games that rely on discovery.

- Book-wise, I’m, y’know, reading Finnegans Wake as I fall asleep, occasionally inching through other books too, but my main reading focus at the moment is The Familiar. I went and picked up a new copy of Volume 5, and I found the Volume 3 I had kinda lost for a while, so now I have the full Season 1 again. And it’s been long enough since I read any of them that it’s finally time to reread them. As a unit this time. I am... so happy to be in their headspace. I’m currently in the second act of Volume 1, taking in a lot more details this time (and I do still remember a sense of where the whole plot goes), really cherishing the commitment to physicality and aesthetic. There’s not many authors out there like Danielewski. House of Leaves kickstarted my book obsession, y’know. And The Familiar is about as grand as a project can be. It’s supposed to be 27 volumes, each one 900 pages long, and the design of these books is goddamn sublime. The publisher only let him do the first 5 volumes, which is sad, but luckily those 5 volumes make up a “Season,” so they’re still a whole thing, a complete story arc for each of the nine protagonists, and plenty of secrets and details that give a good sense of the true scope. And did I mention the series is fucking scary? Profoundly so, each new volume weaving you deeper into its conspiratorial web of eldritch coincidences and patterns. The story is full of cats, immortal cats, God-cats. There’s a scientist who keeps a freaky magic orb and is known as Wizard. There’s an Armenian taxi driver who’s one of my favourite characters. And you can probably get all the volumes Used for fairly cheap on Amazon now. ........please, somebody join me in loving this series.

- Creative-wise, I’m working on music as always, putting notes next to each other until I get a result I can do something with. There is one piece that’s definitely done, a collaboration between Lindsay and I, but it’s going into Nine Is God so you won’t hear it just yet. Speaking of, that’s coming along. I haven’t even started making any codes or cool connections yet; I want to finish the... Core of this update first. Let’s be deceptive and call it the Main Blog. I have proven to myself that I definitely can do this; I keep stumbling on new mechanisms I can add, and I have a pretty vivid idea of what the whole thing will look like. It’s gonna be maybe a decent size for a Blog, all told, but it’s the form of the thing that mandates a lot of care. Luckily I have made Viceking’s Graab, so this isn’t the first time I’ve done something this mechanically ambitious. ...look, just. Of course I’m excited to Actually Talk about this thing, but like with the Graab, its nature requires me to keep it secret until players finally discover it for themselves. I like making that kind of thing, I want the sense of discovery, of climbing up a hill only to reach the summit and see an even bigger mountain looming over you that you hadn’t realized was there. Like Frog Fractions, or its sequel, even if you know there will be more than meets the eye you still get surprised and filled with delight. This concept fits neatly into an ARG format.

- Oh, also, I’m super excited for the Braid remake. It’s gonna have a comically thorough amount of developer commentary, and that’s all I want from this world. It’s even coming to Switch!

Media can be used as a tool to assist with the experience of life, and that is the way I want to approach things. I have spent time adapting myself to feel comfortable in these boring aesthetics (of understated puzzle games, thoughtful pretty books, blogs as art) because this means I am less susceptible to getting burned out during contemplation and self-examination. It may seem like a matter of taste, but taste is relative too; it’s not hard-wired, it can be adjusted, it does adjust all the time under the hood. ...I don’t know where to go with this one, other than that I should be careful not to condescend. I am not above anyone, I am confused too. I just.. like confusion and mazes, and I try to speak these aesthetics in an approximation of how I see others talk about theirs.

Right. I think that’s the bulk of it, that’s what I wanted to say today. I hope you are holding on, reader. It’s a wild and lonely world out there, and it’s our world; it’s yours just as much as it’s anyone else’s. You are important to it.

I leave you, mysteriously, with an old Genesis song. It’s called “Can-Utility and the Coastliners,” which is a silly way of saying it’s a song about the myth of King Canute. Sick of flatterers claiming he was equal to God, he went to the sea shore and said “If I truly am equal to God, then let the waves halt at my feet!” They didn’t. An astute demonstration, but it just prompted his flatterers to praise his ingenuity. “But he forced a smile, even though his hopes lay dashed where offerings fell.” I’m not really sure how the story ends. But it’s a wonderful song, starts off very folks-y but quickly takes a left turn down Mystery and Beauty. And it’s freaking Genesis.

See ya.

[mamabearcat]

Daddy Inuyasha

This doesn’t really have a title yet; I’ll think of one later! Written for @dangerouspompadour after this morning (or evening’s) conversation about kids needing to be fed every single night. A Papa Yasha story.

---

“You’re only gonna be gone for one night right?”

“Inuyasha, you’ll be fine”, soothed Kagome, stuffing more clothes into her bag. “I’m really sorry to have to leave like this, but Mama sounded so ill on the phone. I just want to check up on her.”

Inuyasha snorted, continuing to walk around the room with Izayoi’s tiny hands held in his, while their toddler squealed in delight, her little feet balanced on his larger ones.

“And Sango has promised that she’ll come pick her up early tomorrow and take her to daycare”, she continued, “so you’ll be able to get off to work in time. You just have to make sure to pick her up by 6pm, otherwise daycare will charge extra.”

“That’s good. And yeah, I can do that.” He had a meeting with an architect for his current construction project at 7.30am tomorrow morning; they’d only spoken on the phone as yet, but the guy already sounded like he had a stick firmly wedged up his arse. 

His head was still swimming a little. Kagome had got off the phone with her mother, booked a flight, texted Sango and then told him she’d be coming home Monday night all in under half an hour. He knew he’d be fine; Kagome did this all the time when he was called away for work. And he adored Izayoi. Maybe it would be fun? Some Daddy daughter time?

A loud beeping sounded outside the door. “Oh, that’s my taxi already”, squeaked Kagome, shoving her feet into her shoes. She picked up Izayoi and gave her a squeezy hug, smothering her round cheeks in raspberry kisses. “Be good for Daddy baby girl. Mama will be home at bedtime tomorrow okay? I’ll call you tonight.”

Inuyasha bent down to kiss his wife before she could run out the door. “Be safe, okay. Text me when you get there. I love you.”

“Love you too.” The horn beeped again loudly, and Kagome rolled her eyes. “I gotta go. Be good you two. I love you!”

They all moved out onto the verhandah, Inuyasha and Izayoi waving as Kagome ran down the path with her bag and climbed into the taxi, shutting the door behind her. All of a sudden Izayoi’s bottom lip trembled and her soft pointed puppy ears lowered. “Mama go?”

Inuyasha squeezed her tightly against him, dropping a soft kiss onto the dark curls between her ears. “Mama is visiting grandma. So it’s just us for a little while Princess. It’s gonna be fun right?”

The taxi drove away.

“I wa-want Mama!” Izayoi’s soft sobs escalated quickly, and the sound of her heartbreak pulled at Inuyasha’s gut. He hated Izayoi’s tears almost as much as Kagome’s.

“Hey, hey, c’mon now. We’re gonna have fun.” He bounced her a little in his arms, racking his brain for something that would take Izayoi’s mind off Kagome for a moment. “Do ya wanna watch Ponies with me for a little while?”

He braced himself for the usual loud squeal of excitement she let out whenever her favourite show was mentioned, but instead she tucked her head under his chin and hid behind the curtain of his long silver hair. He watched as she silently placed her thumb into her mouth, slow tears trickling down her cheeks.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

 ---

Eventually Izayoi fell asleep on his lap, and he gratefully changed the channel. There was only so much pink and purple and magic of friendship he could take in one sitting. She’d watched the show with her cousin Rin, and she loved it. Kagome didn’t mind it. Him, not so much.

His stomach grumbled, and he angled his neck to look at the clock on the wall. Shit, it was nearly Izayoi’s dinner time. She usually ate earlier, and he and Kagome ate after she was in bed. When it was his turn to cook for him and Kagome he made steak. Or ramen. Both of those weren’t really toddler friendly. Cooking for Izzy was definitely Kagome’s thing. He though back over recent meals he’d seen Izayoi eat for dinner. Pasta. He was perfectly capable of cooking pasta, and he knew Izayoi liked it. Phew, crisis averted.

 -----

“No!”

Inuyasha was taken aback. As far as he was concerned, he’d cooked a perfectly acceptable dinner for a toddler. Pasta with peas and corn, and some fish fingers he’d dug out of the bottom of the freezer. “Izzy, c’mon, you like pasta. Daddy even cooked the ones that look like little bows!”

“No!” she growled, glaring at the plate in front of her.

“Izayoi!” he barked. He took a deep breath. “What’s wrong with the food on your plate.”

“Don’t like red!”

“Red?” And then it hit him. Kagome usually served Izayoi’s pasta with pesto, not tomato sauce. “Uh, we were all out of green. Why don’t you try it Princess, it’s yummy. Look, Daddy will eat some.” He picked up her tiny fork and took a mouthful of pasta. Not his favourite thing in the world, but perfectly fine.

Izayoi’s eyes looked like they were filling with tears again. Oh boy. His mind whirled frantically, trying to avert the tears.

“Hey, do ya know what else you can call fish fingers? Dippy sticks! Look!” He picked up a fish finger and poked it in the napoletana pasta sauce, then took a bite. “Mmm, dippy sticks, my favourite!” He made sure to scrunch up his eyes and twitch his ears for her, and his heart swelled in relief at the tiny giggle.

“I know, let’s have a race and see who can eat their dippy stick the fastest? I bet I can eat mine faster than you Izzy! Ready…”

“Steddygo”, squealed Izayoi, clutching a fish finger in her little fist and mashing it into the sauce. She took a mouthful and smiled at him. “Yummy Daddy!” She eventually ate most of her dinner, leaving the peas. Inuyasha couldn’t blame her, he didn’t think much of peas either. It was his job to put green things on her plate, he wasn’t going to force feed them to her if she didn’t want to eat them.

He scraped the peas into the bin and dumped the dirty plate in the sink, then piggybacked her to the bathroom. “Bath time for my princess. Do ya want bubbles?”

“Yeah!” She threw her arms out as wide as she could. “Lots and lots!” He chuckled.

“Okay squirt, you got it. Toilet first while Daddy runs the bath. You need help getting those shorts off?” he asked, pointing to the button and zipper.

She shook her head. “Nu uh. I a big girl.”

Just for a second, his eyes misted over, remembering the day she was born only three short years ago. One of the happiest days of his life.

“Do you think you could slow down the growing for me just a smidge, Princess?” he asked, watching as she flushed the toilet all by herself and then managed to finish undressing without help. The tiny underpants were a new thing that she was very proud of, because Mama had told her only big girls got to wear them, and she stroked them lovingly as she put her dirty clothes in the hamper. He snorted when he noticed they had purple and pink ponies on them.

She shook her head and stood on her tiptoes with her arms raised up high, grinning cheekily at him. “I bigger than Daddy!”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!”

“Aw, that’s a shame, I guess you’re too big for me to do…. This!” And he picked her up and blew a huge raspberry on her stomach, then dropped her into the bubbles as she squealed with laughter.

When she was squeaky clean, and Inuyasha had been decorated with a variety of bubble beards and bubble hats, he helped her into her thicker overnight underpants and PJ’s, and snuggled her into her little bed with her favourite white dog toy tucked into her elbow.

“Story and song!” Izayoi demanded.

Inuyasha cringed a little. He’d forgotten about the song part of the bedtime routine. Kagome had a variety of songs she sang, and her voice was pleasant and mellow, perfect for lullabies. His, not so much. “Uh, I’ll do you a deal. How ‘bout, Daddy reads you a story, and we call Mama and she can sing you a song over the phone. How’s that.”

Izayoi blinked at him slowly. “Okay”, she said finally, with a skeptical look on her face, like he was trying to renege on a deal.

“Which story do ya want Princess. Eggs and ham? The one with the baby and the lion?”

“Witch and cat!”

“Room on the Broom it is then!” He grinned, because he liked doing the voices for this one, especially the dragon. He was halfway into the book when she crawled out of bed and into his lap.

“I am a dragon, as mean as can be, and I’m planning to have WITCH and CHIPS for my tea!” Inuyasha growled.

Izayoi clutched onto his shirt. “Dragon scary!”

Whoops. Maybe he’d gotten a little too into it this time. “Hey, it’s okay. We know the witch is gonna be fine because all her friends are gonna scare him away. He’s just a big scaredy dragon!”

Izayoi nodded, the soft pointed ears on top of her head flicking sleepily. She popped her thumb into her mouth as he finished the story, snuggling against him. By the time he was finished, her eyes were blinking slowly. He put the book back on the shelf and tucked her back into her little bed.

“Song”, she whispered.

“One song, comin’ right up.” He fished his mobile out of his back pocket and called Kagome. “Hi love. I have one sleepy princess requesting a bedtime song.”

“What. You’re not going to sing one?” she giggled.

“I think we both know that my talents in the bedroom lie in other areas.” She snort laughed and he grinned. “I’m putting you on speaker.”

Kagome’s soft voice cooed into the bedroom, and both Inuyasha and Izayoi sighed, ears twitching. “Hey little pup. What song do you want Mama to sing for you sweetheart?”

“Mama!” Izayoi said sleepily, her ears twitching towards the phone. “Love you Mama. Train whistle.”

Kagome laughed softly. “I love you too baby. Okay, are you listening?”

Izayoi nodded, and Inuyasha said softly, “Yep, she’s ready.”

Train whistle blowin' Makes a sleepy noise Underneath the blankets For all the girls and boys

Rockin' rollin' ridin' Out along the bay All bound for Morningtown Many miles away

“She’s asleep”, whispered Inuyasha softly, taking the phone off speaker and backing slowly out of the room. He sat down with a thump on the sofa. “How’s Mama?”

“They did some blood tests at the hospital, and apparently she’s really low in iron. They gave her a blood transfusion and she has an appointment to see a heamatologist next week.”

“Shit. Do they know why?”

Kagome sighed. “You know what she’s like. I doubt she’s been looking after herself properly, now that she doesn’t have Grandpa to look after. I was hoping now that she’d retired from the shrine that she’d do things that she loved to do, but I don’t think she’s doing that well Inuyasha.” Kagome’s voice sounded a little wobbly.

Inuyasha swallowed. He adored Kagome’s mother. He’d been a brash belligerent teenager when he’d first started going out with Kagome in senior highschool, and Kagome’s mother had seen it for the front that it was. Kagome had known that he was hurting after the sudden death of his parents in a car accident, and so had she. It was a situation the Higurashi’s were all too familiar with, after the loss of Kagome’s father.

Mama had refused to allow him to push her away, even though shrine families weren’t usually accepting of demons, and had loved him like a son. No one had been happier for them when he and Kagome had decided to get married. He loved her almost as much as he’d loved his own mother. He pictured the once bright eyed, busy woman sitting by herself in a small apartment. She was probably so lonely.

“Kagome. Do ya think she’d live with us? I mean, if she wanted, I could even build her a little house in the back yard. Then it wouldn’t be like she was livin’ in our back pocket. She could visit us when she wanted, and we’d be close by if she needed us. And Izzy would get to see her every day.” Kagome’s quiet sob on the other end of the line startled him. “Hey love, you okay?”

“I’m fine”, she sniffed. “I… I’m gonna ask her, okay?”

“Don’t cry! Dammit, I didn’t suggest it to make you cry, I thought it would make you happy! If she’s not lookin’ after herself, I want her to be closer!”

Kagome giggled. “I’m not really crying, I’m just… you are an amazing husband, do you know that?”

“Shut up.”

“You are! And an amazing Dad. How did dinner go?”

“I stuffed up a bit. Made her pasta with red sauce instead of pesto. But she ate most of it.”

“Good job Daddy.”

He could practically see the beaming smile on Kagome’s face on the other end of the line and he sighed. “I miss you Kagome.”

“I miss you too. Only one night, and then I’ll be home tomorrow.”

“Why don’t you bring Mama too, if she’ll come. We could probably get her an appointment here, couldn’t we?”

“I’ll ask her. You know how stubborn she can be some times.”

“Yeah”, he chuckled, “I know. I got two stubborn reminders that live in the same house as me.”

“Hey!” He heard a soft voice in the background. “Okay Mama, be there in just a moment.”

Inuyasha sighed. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Do you want us to pick you up at the airport?”

“No, it’s okay – it’s usually crazy at that time of night, and it’s too close to Izzy’s bedtime. I’ll just catch a taxi. Good luck with that meeting tomorrow.”

“Thanks”, he snorted. “Can’t say I’m lookin’ forward to it. Guy sounds like a first class prat.”

“Just… hold your temper”, Kagome soothed. “Bottle it up, and you can grump about him to me when I get home.”

“Oh no. I got other plans for you when you get home.”

“Oh really?”

Inuyasha lowered his voice to a rough purr. “Maybe I can get you to sing a bedtime song for me. Last time I went down on you I’m pretty sure you hit a few soprano notes”, he grinned.

“Shut. Up!”

“You love it.”

“You just wait until I get home mister! No mercy!” She paused for a moment. “I’m sorry hon, I gotta go, Mama’s calling. Love you.”

“Sweet dreams, sweet cheeks.”

Inuyasha ended the call despondently. The house just seemed empty without Kagome in it. He traipsed into the kitchen, opened the fridge, then shut it again. He looked in the cupboard, and there was one packet of ramen left on the top shelf. He couldn’t be bothered cooking anything else.

He slumped down on the sofa, clicking through the channels and then snorted in disgust, turning off the tv and his attention to his dinner instead. He may as well go to bed early without Kagome here, just in case Izayoi woke up during the night.

He dumped the plate in the sink and went and had a quick shower, groaning as he wondered if Kagome was in the shower at the same time as him, picturing her generous curves soaped up under swiftly falling water. Gods, he was pathetic. It wasn’t like they had sex every night, but now she wasn’t here, he missed her presence like a physical ache. He was away for work sometimes, true, but it seemed different somehow, when she wasn’t home and he was.

He dried himself off quickly, pulling on his soft grey sleep shorts and falling into the bed that seemed way too big without Kagome in it. He went over his meeting plans in his head, staring at the ceiling, wishing his wife was curled up next to him.

---

“MAAAAMAAAAA!” The high pitched scream had him bolting upright, and he flung himself out of bed, bashing his shoulder on the door frame as he careened down the hallway towards Izayoi’s room.

He kneeled down next to her bed. Her tear filled eyes were easily visible in the soft glow of the night light, and shuddering sobs shook her little body. “A Mons-ster!” she sobbed, trying to get her little arms free of the quilt. “Want Mama!”

“Hey baby, it’s okay, it was just a bad dream”, he soothed, stroking the sweaty hair back from her forhead. “There’s no monster here.”

“He ate Mama!” she sobbed, launching herself at Inuyasha. “Mama gone!” Her hiccuping sobs pulled at his heartstrings, and he picked her up, cradling her against his chest so that she could hear the solid beat of his heart.

“No monster”, he repeated firmly, as he carried her down the hallway towards his and Kagome’s bedroom. “Mama went to visit Grandma, and she’ll be home tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yup. Sango will take you to daycare tomorrow, then Daddy will pick you up, and by the time you’ve had dinner and bath, Mama will be home again. I promise Princess.”

“Pinkie promise?”

It was a concept he had only recently educated in, but he nodded solemnly, viewing it as the sacred pact it was. “Pinkie promise”, he said, hooking his larger pinky finger around her smaller one.

His sleepy brain engaged a little more, and he walked them back towards the bathroom. “You wanna try goin’ to the toilet before you hop into Mama and my bed?”

“Okay.” She stood sleepily in front of the toilet and gazed at him without moving, so he turned her around and helped her pull down her PJ pants and underpants and plonked her on the toilet. He waited silently for a minute, then looked down to notice she was actually asleep sitting up. Chuckling as he fixed her clothes and picked her up again, he padded silently back to his bedroom, carefully placing her on Kagome’s side, hoping her scent on the pillow would help Izzy sleep.

He gazed at his little girl as she sprawled herself out like a starfish, her nose and ears twitching for a moment before she settled back into a deeper sleep. There was a time when he’d thought he’d never want children, because life had seemed to be determined to keep him alone. And then he’d found Kagome, or rather, Kagome had found him, bossing her way into his life and not taking no for an answer. And now they had this beautiful child together. His princess. He dropped a soft kiss onto the dark hair between her pointed ears and then settled back down to sleep himself.

 ---

“Daaaaadddyyyyyy!”

Inuyasha grunted as he felt the full weight of a solid three year old landing directly on his bladder. He opened one sleepy eye. “Yeah?”

“The door!”

“Fuu—iretruck!” he groaned, leaping out of bed at the sound of knocking on the front door. Had he slept in? Nope, 6.45am. He usually got up at 7. He opened the front door a crack, poking his head through. “Yeah?”

“It’s just us!” grinned a smiling Sango, holding Shinzu on her hip. “Miroku’s going to drop off the girls at school, so I thought I’d come over a little early and help you get Izzy ready for daycare.”

“Uh, okay?” said Inuyasha with a puzzled expression.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Kagome texted me and told me you had an early meeting. Did I get it wrong?” She laughed at the suddenly panicked face Inuyasha made as he opened the door wide to let her in. “I take it you do have an early meeting?”

She stepped inside, then grinned teasingly at Inuyasha, pointing at his sleep shorts. “Is this a really informal meeting? Because I don’t think those are going to cut it.”

“Shut up”, he growled.

Izayoi ran towards Sango and hugged her legs. “Saaaango! Baby Shiiizuuuu!”

Sango ruffled the dark hair on Izayoi’s head, being careful of her pointed puppy ears. “Hey Izzy – you had breakfast yet?”

“No. Daddy asleep.” She held her hand over her mouth and giggled. “Daddy snores!” She stuck her fingers in her ears as if to emphasise how loud it had been.

“Way to rat me out kiddo”, muttered Inuyasha, raising an eyebrow at her. Izayoi hid behind Sango’s leg, then giggled some more.

“Go get ready Inuyasha, I’ll get Izzy off to daycare. I’m pretty sure I know where everything is.”

Inuyasha jogged towards the bathroom, then paused. “Thanks Sango, I really appreciate this.”

“Enough to babysit and give me and Miroku a night out?” she asked with a hopeful air.

Inuyasha thought for a moment about wrangling the twins, Shinzu and and Izayoi combined, then shrugged. “I’ll talk it over with Kagome, but yeah, sure.”

“Done. Stop talking and go get ready!”

He was back twenty minutes later in his business clothes, long hair neatly braided and the tie he only wore for meetings with clients already choking him. Izayoi was seated at the table, happily eating yoghurt and fruit. He dropped a kiss on her head. “Be good today Izzy. I’ll be there to pick you up from daycare, okay?”

“Okay, bye bye”, she said happily, making a funny face at Shinzu so the baby squealed in delight.

Inuyasha rushed out the door. “See you later Sango! And thanks!”

“You’re welcome!” she sang out, her voice punctuated by the loud slam of the front door.

 --- 

Inuyasha growled as he gripped the steering wheel, glancing again at the clock on the dash. 5.55pm. He’d already called ahead to tell the daycare director that he was stuck in traffic and should be there soon, but that didn’t make him feel any less guilty.

The whole day had been a write off – filled with pointless meetings with pencil pushers and government know-it-alls that wouldn’t know good construction timeframes if they bit them on the arse. And thanks to them, he was late picking up his daughter, the very first time he’d been asked to do it. Shit.

It took another five minutes to find a parking spot, and he ran the rest of the way. The lights in the centre were off, but he knocked on the door, bouncing nervously, and a smiling lady let him in.

“Izayoi’s in the director’s office doing some colouring – right this way.”

“I am so sorry”, he panted, and the lady smiled at him, holding up a hand.

“It’s okay, you called and let us know what was happening. We let Izayoi know you’d be a little late, and she seemed fine. These things happen.”

Inuyasha poked his head around the office door. “Izzy?”

“Daaaadddy!” She vaulted herself into his arms, and he picked her up, giving her a squeezy hug.

“I’m sorry I was late baby. The car got stuck in traffic on the way here.”

Her bottom lip trembled a little. “Everyone gone home.”

“All the other kids have gone home?” She nodded. “I’m sorry you were the last one here Izzy.” Inuyasha turned his head towards the director. “I really am sorry for my lateness. I got caught up in meetings at work, and didn’t leave early enough to avoid the traffic.”

“That’s quite alright Mr. Takahashi. These things happen”, the director said, making a shooing motion with her hands.

They stopped to get Izayoi’s little backpack, then walked out of the centre.

“You know what?” said Inuyasha, swinging Izayoi’s little hand as they walked side by side towards the car. “Daddy had a grumpy day. And do you know what would cheer me up?”

Izayoi’s ears pricked up hopefully, and her eyes widened. “Ice-cream?!”

“Ice-cream”, he agreed, nodding seriously. “Should we eat it in a cone, or get some to take home?”

“Cone!” squeaked Izayoi, almost dancing on the spot.

Pretty soon they were sitting in an ice-cream parlour, Izzy with a small vanilla cone, napkin tucked into her shirt to save it from the drips, and Inuyasha with a towering triple scoop waffle cone monstrosity with extra fudge. Izayoi sighed happily as she licked, not quite fast enough to stop it dripping down her arm.

“I sticky.”

“Gotta keep licking!” said Inuyasha, turning her cone to the other side so she could lick the drips. If Kagome were here, she’d produce some of those wet wipes that seemed to fix a multitude of problems. Inuyasha snagged a couple more paper napkins from the paper dispenser and wrapped them around Izayoi’s little wrist, tucking the ends in. “There, that might help a little.”

“A bracelet! Thank you Daddy!”

Inuyasha snorted. “Glad to see my Princess is so easily pleased by paper jewellery. Keep licking Izzy, or it’ll fall.”

Once the ice-cream was eaten, it was time to go home. There was a short argument about keeping the soggy napkin bracelet, but after Inuyasha had promised to replace it with a real one when it was her birthday, she finally stopped stomping her small foot, and smiled. Crisis averted.

 ---

Inuyasha felt slightly guilty when he realised that Sango had done the washing up for him. Whoops. Oh well.

“You wanna help me make dinner Izzy?” he asked, hoping that would ward off any dinnertime disputes.

“Yeah!” She was rubbing her eyes a little sleepily, so he knew it would have to be something quick.

“How about boiled egg on toast?”

Izayoi looked at him quizzically, and Inuyasha remembered it was something she usually only ate for breakfast.

“It’s been a topsy turvy day. Let’s have breakfast for dinner!”

Izayoi snorted then giggled. “Silly Daddy!”

“Hey, it’s okay to be silly sometimes. Let’s boil an egg!” He let Izayoi pick an egg from the carton, then helped her place it carefully into the cold water in the saucepan. They put a slice of bread in the toaster, and she pushed down the lever herself, and then looked at him proudly.

“My princess is getting to be such a big girl!”

She nodded excitedly, then yawned.

Inuyasha buttered the toast and fished the egg out of the saucepan, peeling off the shell quickly and mashing it onto the toast.

“You want fingers or a squash sandwich?”

“Squash.” Her eyes blinked sleepily. He’d cut it pretty fine by taking her out for ice-cream; it was just about her bedtime now. Inuyasha picked her up and put her on her seat at the table. He folded the toast over carefully, making it like half a sandwich.

“Just eat a few bites princess, and then you can have a quick bath, okay?”

Izayoi nodded sleepily, then munched her way through the middle of the sandwich leaving all the crust.

“All done? Let’s go take that bath.” He ran a small bath, and washed her quickly; the fact that she wasn’t wanting to play told him exactly how tired she was. He lifted her out of the water and she stood on the bathmat as he rubbed her dry.

“Where Mama?”

Shit. Kagome had texted him that her plane had been a little delayed and she was just getting in a taxi, hopefully she would be home any minute.

“She’ll be here soon, Princess. How about Daddy will keep reading stories until she gets home?”

The bottom lip trembled a little. “Want Mama.”

Inuyasha helped her into her night time underpants and pj’s. “She’ll be here soon baby. Let’s go read those stories, okay?”

“Want Mama.”

Her little nose rubbed against his neck, ears flicking against his chin, and he felt a few warm tears slide down. Shit. C’mon Kagome. He carried Izayoi down to her bedroom, but instead of sitting on the chair, he sat down on her bed with her still cradled in his lap. She stayed curled up, her little thumb firmly in her mouth.

“Sad.”

“You’re feelin’ sad, cause Mama isn’t home yet?” Little nod. “I miss her too when she’s away. I love you and your Mama sooo much. All the way to the moon and back.”

“Moon story.”

“Goodnight Moon?” Izayoi shook her head.

“Rabbit.”

“Sorry kiddo, you’re gonna have to give me more than that. There’s a rabbit and a moon in the story?”

“Big Rabbit. Daddy Rabbit. And Little Rabbit. Izayoi Rabbit.” Inuyasha heart swelled and he dropped a kiss to her head. She was worse at tugging on his heartstrings than Kagome. Or better. Probably both.

“I think I know the one ya mean.” He reached over to her little bookcase carefully, and got a small battered boardbook. The first book they’d ever bought her, when she was still in Kagome’s womb. They’d bought it on the way home from the hospital after the ultrasound at twenty weeks. There were still little teeth marks around the edges where she’d bitten it as a baby.

“Guess how much I love you”, he began. A key clicked in the front door lock, and Kagome’s voice called out.

“Helloooo, I’m hoooome.”

“We’re in Izzy’s room”, he called out quietly, turning the page. “Little Nutbrown Hare, who was going to bed, held on tight to Big Nutbrown Hare’s very long ears.”

Kagome walked quietly into the room, leaning down to kiss Izayoi’s cheek.

“Mama”, Izayoi sighed sleepily.

“You want Mama to finish the story for ya Izzy?” asked Inuyasha. She shook her head.

“Daddy Rabbit.”

Kagome smiled at them both, and sat down on the chair. “I’ll listen too, if that’s okay.” She stroked Izayoi’s hair as Inuyasha read, and the little eyes drifted closed as he finished the last page.

Inuyasha rumbled a pleased sound through his chest. He couldn’t help it. Kagome was home, Izayoi was asleep and no longer sad. All was right in his world.

“Need some help escaping?” Kagome smiled. She helped lift Izayoi up gently so Inuyasha could slide out from underneath her, and Kagome pulled the quilt up over her, tucking her dog toy into her arms, and kissing her forehead. “Sweet dreams, Izzy.”

They tiptoed out of the little bedroom, and back down the hallway. Inuyasha picked up Kagome’s suitcase and carried it to their bedroom, Kagome following behind him.

“Mama didn’t want to come with you?”

“No. She was very definite about seeing the specialist there. Souta is taking the day off to go with her.”

“What did she say about our idea?”

“I think she might say yes. She’s thinking about it at the moment, but the idea of seeing Izzy everyday was very appealing”, smiled Kagome. She curled her arms around Inuyasha’s neck and hugged him tight. “I missed you so much! Did everything go okay with Izzy while I was away?”

“Pretty much. She missed you a lot. I did too.” His hands drifted down her back and over her bottom cheeks, suddenly wrapping around her thighs and lifting her up, snorting in laughter at her sudden yelp of surprise.

“We still haven’t finished the bedtime routine Ka-go-me”, he purred, walking over to their bedroom door and closing it firmly. “You owe me a song.”

[tjkiahgb]

Episode Recap: 3.08, “I Got Your Number”

Let’s see if I still remember how to do this.

Wait. Nope. That’s not it.

One second.

The episode begins with Andi and Bex in their apartment. There we go.

Andi says Bex is using her charger because it has pink tape on it, but then Bex finds another charger and it also has pink tape on it.

Then Bowie jams his head through the still-unfixed giant hole in the wall.

Those bricks look like loose teeth. They’re going to fall out any second. The whole wall is going to come down and no one seems to care.

Bowie also has a charger with pink tape on it and Bex realizes Andi has put pink tape on all the chargers as a ploy to be able to seize any charger she sees for her own use.

I don’t know how Andi thought that plan was going to hold up for longer than a minute. Once Bex found another charger with pink tape on it, it was all over.

On the other hand, I’m glad she’s doing sneaky stuff like this. It’s like living with a little velociraptor. She’s clever and dangerous and always plotting something. It keeps Bex and Bowie on their toes and keeps their minds active, which is important as you start to age.

The next day, Buffy finds Andi at the Jefferson Middle School Machu Picchu.

She delivers her a handwritten invitation to hang out that weekend. It’s a bit extra, but I appreciate the effort.

Then Buffy says her plan is to watch a ton of bad dance-themed movies and reels off a list of films that -- and I did the math on this -- would take Andi and Buffy over 16 full hours to watch. It would basically be: wake up, watch nothing but dance movies the entire day, then go to bed.

Buffy calls it the “DanceDance Film Festival.”

I call it cruel and unusual punishment.

I’m pretty sure the Geneva Convention has rules against treating prisoners of war this way.

Watching 16 straight hours of dance movies sounds like something a conspiracy theorist barking up a wrong, dumb tree would do.

If I was trapped in a steel box for 16 hours and had nothing but a portable DVD player and the Step Up films, I’d spend my time trying to punch my way out of the steel box. (don’t @ me, Step Up fans)

Andi’s into the idea though, except she can’t do it because she already has plans for that night with Amber. Andi suggests they do it tonight, but Buffy has plans with Walker.

They decide to postpone this marathon of pain until another time and say they’ll plan out a future date for it. And then they both talk about how crazy it sounds for them to be making plans like some kind of lame adults or something.

20! Hah! Can you imagine? Can you even imagine??

*laughs and laughs and laughs until the laughter turns into tears and now I’m laughing and crying and I don’t know if I can stop* Help me.

Speaking of being old, Bex and Bowie read books on the couch. Bex asks Bowie to hold her foot which makes Bowie feel like they’re an elderly married couple. They swap visions about how cool it’d be to be unaware seniors.

Then Bowie tells Bex he could see her as a grandma...

...which is something I would never say to someone. I don’t care if she’s 100 and wearing a shirt that says “Ask me about my grandchildren!” You let them say they’re a grandma first, and then you always say something like, “You’re a grandma?? That’s crazy! I’d never have guessed!”

All this talk of being old freaks Bex and Bowie out and they decide to get out and have themselves a little romantic evening. The type only young folk have.

Over at one of Cyrus’s houses, Cyrus brings Jonah down to his stepdad’s man cave for some ping pong. Jonah is surprised Cyrus has a ping pong setup, but Cyrus says it’s because until recently his stepdad was using it for civil war reenactments.

Oh so they’ll let Cyrus imitate guns firing but they won’t let him say gay. Ok.

They start to play and Cyrus quickly goes up 3-0.

Suddenly, TJ comes waltzing down the stairs.

Who let him in? Do Cyrus’s parents know him? Does he have a key? Was he already in the house, stalking around like a cat? I like any and all of these possibilities.

Either way, he’s here now. Just in time to congratulate Cyrus on taking a 3-0 lead. He does this by saying, “Niceberg.”

Sorry. Hold up. I gotta rewind.

This’ll just take a second.

Ok. Be right with you.

Alright, just gonna put that in the mail and I’ll be right back.

Ok. Back.

Anyway, long story short, I don’t feel like “Niceberg” is gonna catch on the same way “Underdog” did.

Jonah’s mood immediately flips. He starts looking for any reason to get out of the basement.

Cyrus is like, if this is about the gun thing, we worked that out. Jonah’s like, it’s not about that. I couldn’t care less about that. I had the Metcalf tattoo thing and the Libby thing, I barely even know what happened.

Jonah storms out, leaving Cyrus and TJ in a metaphorical hole of confusion.

Also, like, a literal hole. Because that’s kind of what a basement is? A hole in the ground? I’m trying too hard to be poetic I think. You can’t force art.

Jonah retreats to Red Rooster Records. He wants to know why he wasn’t warned of this surprise TJ. Cyrus is like, I didn’t think I had to.

You’re universally liked and you universally like everyone back. You know, like a Golden Retriever.

Cyrus says TJ’s in between friends right now, what with TJ sending Reed and Lester up the river to Sing Sing to do 10 years hard time.

Jonah says he’ll never be friends with TJ. He says it’s a long and embarrassing story, though I imagine it’s nothing like the embarrassment Alfonso Mazzanti would feel if he saw his record was still sitting unpurchased in this ratty store.

Does no one in Shadyshade have an appreciation for opera anymore?!

Jonah says the story goes all the way back to little league and we get basically a Drunk History retelling of the Jonah/TJ fight, except Jonah’s obviously not drunk, he’s just Jonah, so, you know: Jonah History.

And the story is this: Jonah used to love baseball. He idolized Roberto Clemente. Now, I’m not going to argue Clemente isn’t an all-time great, but I do find it strange that this kid in Shadyside loved a player who spent his entire career in Pittsburgh and died some 40 years before Jonah was even born. Most kids just go with Derek Jeter, but to each his own I guess. Anyway, Jonah wanted a “21″ jersey to be like Clemente.

But before he got to wear it, it was nabbed by a young TJ, from way back before he changed the direction his hair parts.

This leads to an argument where young Jonah gets angwee.

Cyrus asks Jonah if he cried, but Jonah invokes the baseball law laid down by Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own: there’s no crying in baseball. Cyrus says that’s just a line from a movie, but since when did he become an expert on sports? Stay in your lane, Cyrus.

Jonah says the jersey thing led to a shoving match that got stopped by his dad (their coach) before it could get too far. Jonah took another jersey, but the emotional scars remained. He couldn’t take the pain of watching TJ playing in his number and Jonah would never play a real sport again, banished forever to a lifetime of frisbee.

Cyrus says Jonah has proclaimed multiple times that Ultimate Frisbee is a real sport, and Jonah’s like, “Yeah...”

...let’s stop lying to ourselves about what frisbee is.

Jonah thinks the whole grudge is stupid, but Cyrus feels that it’s clearly important to him and it’s part of what shaped him as a person, so it can’t be that stupid.

Cyrus wants to figure out why TJ did it. Jonah thinks it’s because he’s permanently mean. Cyrus is like, no, he isn’t. He just has resting mean face.

Jonah feels glad to have talked it out and says he’s ready to let it go, but Cyrus isn’t, more so for TJ’s sake than anyone else’s at this point, I assume.

That night, Andi and Amber walk through a parking lot. Amber asks about the Buffy/Walker situation, which Andi says is still a situation, although she’s feeling less strict about following the Girl Code’s laws to reacting to such situations. They discuss how there’s room for interpretation as far as the Girl Code goes. It’s not exactly the Ten Commandments chiseled into stone.

Andi suddenly realizes they’ve been walking a long time and have somehow found themselves deep in the warehouse district.

Amber leads Andi towards a warehouse party. Andi starts to get a little unsure about this whole thing. As they head for the entrance, a man with facial hair exits.

A man that does not shave on a regular basis is one of the best indicators of questionable behavior in the area. You know the old saying: clean faces, clean hearts.

Amber says it’s a high school party, but not to worry, because she’ll protect Andi. They head inside.

Guys. This high school party. I’m losing my mind. I feel like I could make 1000 gifs of the people dancing in this place. I’m not going to, but I could.

Because this party...

is a party...

for dweebs.

I mean, I get part of the problem. It’s Disney Channel. They aren’t allowed to really show anything, so nothing like underage drinking or whatever. You just have to assume it’s an intimidating party off-screen. Ok. Fine.

But maybe the costume designer could’ve put everyone in less floral prints?

There’s very little that’s intimidating about a floral print unless it’s being worn by some kind of iron fist island dictator.

Andi gets separated real quick from Amber and immediately begins to panic.

Bex and Bowie, meanwhile, take a romantic nighttime carriage ride through the park when they get a text from Andi about the warehouse party.

Bowie asks the carriage driver (conductor? horsier?) to take him to Andi.

I hope he understands these carriages are not taxis. I’m not even sure they’re really street legal.

Bex is surprised to find out Andi snuck off to a warehouse party, but Bowie says at least she came clean to them about it within minutes.

Bex wants to know if the carriage can go faster. Bowie stops the carriage instead and says he’s going to run all the way across town to the Meatpacking District to get their daughter.

Bex stops him and says he’s doing a great job as a dad. Really dadding it up. And then they make out again.

These two. They’re always making out. It’s like, get a room.

Bex sends him to find Andi and he takes off running as the carriage horsier sits in uncomfortable silence.

Bowie finds his way to the warehouse party and runs in with the pitch perfect energy of a dad come to take his teenage daughter away from a party.

Although, and I don’t want to harp on this too much again, but if I was Bowie and walked into this party and this was the first thing I saw...

...I’d breathe a big sigh of relief.

I’d be like, “Oh, thank God: dweebs. It’s a dweeb party. Phew.”

He quickly finds Andi and she asks him what took so long. They start to leave when Amber returns. She’s like, are you leaving? And Bowie’s like, you’re darn tootin’ she’s leaving! Amber tries to take the blame but Bowie says it was Andi’s decision and she’ll take responsibility for it. They leave together.

Outside, Andi thinks Bowie’s whole dad thing was an act, but it turns out he was actually very much in dad mode. He says her behavior has led him to not trust her at this moment and then he throws his hand over his mouth like he just called Andi an expletive by mistake.

Bowie and Andi are shocked by this sudden dad-ness.

Andi promises to never do this again, but Bowie isn’t listening because all he can hear is how much he just sounded like his father. He and Andi both see this as a big moment in their father/daughter relationship, and I guess that sort of releases any of the tension as it seems Bowie actually isn’t going to follow up on any of the punishment talk.

They head off. Bowie tells Andi to call Bex but before she can, Bex shows up in the carriage in the middle of this industrial parking lot like some kind of misplaced Disney Princess.

Andi realizes she’s ruined Bex and Bowie’s date night, but they forgive her and all ride off together.

At Cyrus’s house, Cyrus has brought TJ and Jonah back together to solve this little league thing. TJ thinks it’s crazy. Jonah wants to let it go but TJ doesn’t want Jonah going around rest of his life proclaiming him some kind of jersey thief.

At this point, I was kind of like, “Oh, I actually like TJ’s outfit here.”

But then I was like, “Hold on a second. Enhance.”

That’s a basketball hoop! This is a surprise basketball shirt outfit!

Dammit! I can’t believe how many basketball themed shirts he has in his closet.

Anyway, Cyrus pulls up a picture of the two in little league.

Both Jonah and TJ think this proves their point.

But then Cyrus confirms the jersey number is actually 21 and TJ realizes his dyscalculia has struck again.

He explains to Jonah he’s got a learning disability. That this whole thing has been something of a misunderstanding.

Jonah apologizes for holding onto this grudge for so long and for never thanking him for helping him when he was having a panic attack at the Bash Mitzvah.

TJ notes that everyone has struggles.

Cyrus notes his fear of flamingos, which is not the first thing I’d think of when it comes to him, but I don’t disagree. They have unnaturally thin legs.

I don’t trust them for one second.

Jonah and TJ fist bump to end the grudge.

That was such a great little scene. One, for tying up the TJ/Jonah loose end from the Bash Mitzvah, but two, for showing these characters’ growth. It’s nice to see these two, who had previously been so guarded, be able to discuss their mental health openly without fear or anger, and then support each other.

On the other hand, Jonah’s now told TJ about his anxiety before he’s told Andi about it. I guess she was always going to be the hardest one to tell, but uh... yeah...

Speaking of Andi, she shows up at Buffy’s house with a big ol’ bag of popcorn and a pretty sweet new impression.

She explains the party was no fun, but that Buffy is. She wants to hang with her and participate in her crazy film festival.

They start dancing the night away.

Buffy asks if they’ll still be doing this when they’re 20.

*laughs and cries until I’m suddenly scream-wailing into the night sky for some reason* I’m fine.

They dance and dance until the episode ends.

So I guess there really isn’t going to be any punishment if Bowie and Bex just let Andi go hang out with a friend that very night.

Unless they heard what Buffy’s plans were and decided that was punishment enough.

Sure it seems like fun now, but when she’s at hour 12 of this and the credits are rolling on Step Up 3D and then Buffy goes, “Awesome! Let’s watch it again!”, Andi’s going to be wishing she was grounded.

[the-canary]

Pastel Colors - B.B (13/15).

Summary: If only the cute teacher would stop pestering you for a pen.(Library/Teacher AU! Reader/Bucky Barnes)

Prompt: you’re always asking me for a pencil because for some damn reason you don’t know that there is a whole store for stationary—happy birthday here’s a gift card to that store. wait, you work there? what the hell?

Masterlist

A/N: This is for @bithors writing challenge. Welcome to me getting out of work early and blasting through this chapter. We’re on the road of wrapping up some loose ends and giving these lovebirds some time together. There is still some time left for drabble requests too! 

Feedback is always appreciated.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 |  Part 12

You and James decide to wait for the rain to let up before walking back to where his friends and Rebecca are supposed to be at. It was laughing and kisses for awhile, until you finally decided to walk back with his arm on your lower back, pulling you close in order to share whatever body heat you had between the two of you after everything you had gone through beforehand. Bucky whispers everything he can remember about the old park and how his parents would take him and his sisters all the time, only for them to get into the craziest of situations. You laugh and he can’t help the huge grin on his face from having you so close, that after all these years of pinning he finally confessed. He stops walking for a moment, as you look to stare at him with a soft smile.

“I haven’t asked the most important question,” he pulls you in closer until you’re face-to-face. Your eyes shining brightly as his heart speeds up, “But, will you be my girl?”

“Absolutely, starboy,” you giggle at the huge grin on his face, before he grabs and spins you again. You cup his face and drag him into a kiss again, your hands on his cheeks so he can’t pull away -- like he would want to.

“FUCKING FINALLY!” a voice can be heard in the back, as Sam raises his beer only for the others underneath the shade of the picnic table clap and cheer with Rebecca even talking a picture with her phone, as William reassures that everything ended up well because of her.

James swears it's one of his best birthday parties.     

March 3rd.

It’s less than 48 hours later when you are standing in front of Bucky’s apartment building, as he packs his stuff away in the yellow cab that is to take him to the airport. James had told you about his conferences and while you were excited and proud of him due to his more recent papers, you knew you were going to be a little lonesome especially after only just getting him back from those 2 weeks he ignored you. He walks back up the sidewalk and guilty smile on his face. You pout as he laughs for a moment.

“I promise we’ll go on a date once I come back,” he sighs out, while rubbing your cheek softly. You nod and give him a quick peck before the taxi driver honks at him.

“Gotta go,” he pulls aways, though his fingers linger on your cheek for a moment, “Take care of the library punks for me! Becca too!”

“Good luck at your nerd expo, starboy!” you yell, as he gets into the car. You keep waving at the disappearing vehicle, ignoring the early morning on lookers, until you can’t see it anymore. Eventually, you start making your way to your favorite bistro when your phone pings twice. You take it out from your coat pocket and can’t help the giggles rising from your throat. You swear you haven’t been this happy in a long time.

⭐Boy:  Missing you already, doll!  

Becca: So, what are you planning for his late birthday?

March 6th.    

It takes them a few days to notice, what with Mr. Barnes being gone and all, but Michelle can see the happiness shining brightly on your face compared to a few days ago. She notices you looking at your phone every so often and sighing or laughing at whatever you are looking at on the bright screen. You’re doing everything you’re supposed to, from getting the final touches of science fair put together to finishing your classes before finals pick up to simply keeping everything in the library together, with a softer, dreamier look on your face. It was completely different from the last time she had seen you, sad and mopey, and she needed to find out why though without causing a scene. She waits, like always, until lunchtime ends and she is the only one still there. You glance at her from across the table, you know she knows, as smile on your lips as you wait for her next action.

“Lib, did you--” Michelle starts, but your excited nodding stops her. A huge, cheshire grin on her face as she leans into the table. You tap your fingers onto the table for a moment before taking out your journal, the teenager can’t help but cock a curious glance at that pastel colored gel pens you seem to be carrying now.

“I...confessed,” you admit shyly as Michelle hits the table in surprise, “And we’re ummm yeah, official.”

Michelle makes a flustering and embarrassed you tell her every single detail and she can’t help but congratulate you and say how disgustingly cute it is all in the same sentence. You laugh at her comment, as it echoes happily in the empty library. However, she is also now completely overjoyed that the rest of the Library Club owes her lunch for a month now.

March 10th.

The lazy morning sun spills into an unfamiliar hotel room, as the man on the bed groans before turning over to the other side. He had gone out the previous night to celebrate his actual birthday late into the evening with Dr. Banner and some other colleagues he had been introduced to, hell even Stark was there was a moment. However, James Barnes didn’t expect for the quiet man to hold his liquor and so much of it so well, he was truly a beast -- and Bucky got drunk under the table before he knew it. At least he was taken back to his room without any problem. Though, now he had a pounding headache, as his phone began to light up with messages.

However, his head shots up at the sound of a completely new ringtone, as a familiar name pops into his notifications. Bucky gets up a little, blurry-eyed and groggy, to see your message.   

Starlight: Happy Birthday, James! I hope you have a great day today <3

Bucky can’t help but grin into his pillow at the attached picture of you and Matcha wearing party hats, as he wonders how much you had to fight with the cat in order for that to happen. He laughs when he notices that there are bandages wrapped around some of your fingers, already thinking about how he had seen you fight with said cat before. He rolls over and can’t help but fall back asleep with a smile on his face.

Bucky thanked his lucky stars that he was fortunate to finally have you by his side, and that he would cherish it as long as you allowed him.  

March 14th.

It takes you awhile for figure out what you are going to do, planning and strategizing takes you awhile but it makes you feel better about the plan in the long term. You get a mini journal, blue with silver lining, from your unused pile and begin to write down everything you need and how you could call on. There is a little tremor in your heart about if this is too much for a first date, but you want to celebrate Bucky’s birthday your own way, even if it’s a little late.

“Nah, he’ll love it,” Rebecca explains, as she looks over your layout and notes, “Bucky is sort of dramatic. You’re going after his heart right here.”

“Really?” your eyes light up and she can’t help but grin smugly at all her hard work, though she knows deep down that you both deserve all the happiness you can get, even if it makes roll her eyes at just how potentially lovey-dovey the two of you will get. She grins before putting the book down, her blue eyes on you as she moves from one accomplished plan to another.

“So, what help do you need from me?”

March 18th.

James had spend the previous day packing and simply resting a bit before things picked up again and school was back on his mind. However, all he wanted to so was see you again, while your relationship had just barely begun, Bucky was trying hard to keep 3 years of longing at bay. He wanted you close, he wanted to get to know better than he did now -- there was so much he wanted to say and see, but he didn’t want to scare you away either. James knew he could be too intense with his emotions, “dramatic” was what his sisters liked to call it. He looked at his cellphone, the last message you had sent was wishing him good luck on the plane ride back. You hadn’t answered when he landed at JFK, though he simply pushed it to the back of his mind and caught up with everything he had missed.

Now, that he was done with everything the thoughts were resurfacing again. He picked up his phone from the nightstand after taking a shower, ready to send you another message, when it pings on its own.

Stevie: Get fancy, picking you up in 20.

Bucky: What? Why?

Stevie: Secret. From ya gal ;)

Bucky can’t help the huge growing on his face at the last part of Steve’s message, as he starts walking around his bedroom, unsure of what to wear though eventually deciding on a pair of dark jean, dark button-up, and blue motorcycle jacket with his hair slicked back just a bit. Steve arrives just a promised and the blonde can’t help but grin at the excited look on his best friend’s face. Steve hadn’t seen his friend this happy and in love in a long time, he could only imagine how Bucky would get when he say what you had in store.

“So, where are we going, punk?” Bucky finally decides to ask, as his oldest friend shakes his head and effectively keeping his mouth shut. James shakes his head, but he’s feeling like a kid on Christmas day. He decides to catch up with Steve instead, asking what has been going on in school and with Peggy, which allows the car ride to move a bit faster. The car stops in a familiar little coffee shop, though there are fairy lights string around the opening and the owner, Stan, is sitting in front in his usual attire -- a white button and slacks. Blue eyes clash with as Steve shrugs.

“She’s gonna knock your socks off,” Steve smiles as Bucky begins to get out of the car, “I hope you have a good time.”

“Good evening, James,” the old man smile as he opens the door to a very confused younger man, “Your sweetheart is waiting upstairs. I hope you have good night, and happy belated birthday.”

“There’s an upstairs?” Bucky questions for moment, before grinning, “Oh, thank you...I guess I’ll be heading up, then?”

Stan nods, leading the way to a smaller back door near the the kitchen area. James looks at Stan from a moment as the old man nods and he heads upstairs step by creaky step, only to be surprised at the sight of more fairy lights around the whole room. There is small table in the center filled with food and a small cake and another table near the far right corner with a record player playing a familiar song. And that’s where you are standing, wearing a floral patterned skirt and dark short-sleeved shirt, a bright smile on your face that takes his breath away all over again.         

“Doll, what is all this?” he questions as he walks over and takes your hands into his, already swaying to the background music. You smile and he catches it just as quickly.

“I know you said we would have a date after you came back,” you explain, as he slides his arm around your waist, spinning you around for a moment, “So, I planned ahead.”

“You’re setting the bar pretty high, starlight?” he chuckles softly, as you shake your head.

“I better be,” you grin, “But, you won’t win me over unless you tell about Orion and Diane.”

“Well, I’ll just have to unleash all my astrology knowledge on you,” Bucky dips you while looking at the dinner on set up with a box at the center.

“Maybe, over dinner?” he looks down to look at your smiling face, as you nod. He starts to pull you back up, but you grab his neck and drag him to your level for a gentle but quick peck on the lips.

“Happy belated birthday, James.”

“Thank you, doll,” he grins as you look him with eyes shining like starlight, as he leads you to the table looking at at the things you had made and bought.

Stories and laughter are shared throughout the night, James swears it’s the best late birthday and first date later on, but nothing has you laughing more than when you give him his birthday gift -- a gift card to B’s stationery.

Part 14

[sonofadeanwinchester]

Family (4)

Summary: You’re married to Sebastian Stan and have a family with him.

Words: 2,204

Sebastian Stan x Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Tags: @221bshrlocked @pawallday @titty-teetee @shellymaesworld @chameerah @potterhead1265

Sebastian took the boys' downstairs to start breakfast and get them ready for school. I stood outside of Addy's bedroom door trying to find the right approach to what was happening in my daughter's life. I knocked lightly and her friendly voice shouted to come in. I entered with a smile on my face. My beautiful raven dark haired girl stood in front of a mirror, her long locks cut short to her shoulders. "Adaline!"

She bit her lip and grimaced at my reaction. "I'm sorry."

I rolled my eyes and huffed a sigh. "Oh my god ... wh- what did you do to your hair?"

She shrugged, "I just figured that if we were moving to LA for a while, that maybe I could try a new look."

I put my hand on my hip and bit my top lip trying to control my feelings. I knew that this transition was going to be difficult on her but to cut her hair? "Addy, listen. I know that this move is going to be difficult but it's only for a few months."

She nodded, slipping on a black t-shirt. "Mama, I know. I just-."

Sebastian walked up the hall humming a song and peeked his head in. "Morning beauty." He left the room but seconds later, his blue eyes came around the corner again. "Dear lord, what happened to my little girl?"

She smiled, "You like it daddy?"

He sighed and started to agree but saw the look I was shooting him. He bit his lip. "Adaline, why did you cut your hair?"

I snorted, "she wanted a 'new look' for LA. Please, talk some sense into your daughter. I'll deal with the boys." I kissed his cheek and marched downstairs.

Sebastian leaned against the door frame and licked his lips, not sure what to say or even where to start. "Why do you feel you need a new look?"

She furrowed her brow, "Daddy, I just-. This school year has been difficult enough and not having you around-."

"Adaline, please don't blame this on me. It's not my fault that I am called away most of the year. I thought we had an agreement about this. We are suppose to be an open and honest family." That came out a lot harsher than what he had intended.

Her eyes filled with tears, "what am I suppose to do when my father is away for 90% of the year? That all my classmates at school only know me because my father plays Captain America's best friend?"

He licked his lip, "Adaline."

"What? You know I'm right."

"Young lady, don't use that tone with me."

She cocked her jaw to the side and he could tell she was getting pissed. "Fine."

He cocked a brow in her direction. "Get dressed. Eat breakfast. Go to school. Come straight home. You're grounded. No mall, no cellphone, no TV." He listed the things on her fingers, getting his point across.

"That's bullshit!"

He stepped closer to her, snapping his finger at her. "ADALINE. Do not swear at me. I don't know who you think you are but you are not the adult in this situation. You are a twelve year old girl. You do not run this house nor do you run this family. Am I understood?"

She grabbed her book bag and ran by him, her hair falling just short of her shoulders. She stomped down the stairs and opened the front door, slamming it behind her. Sebastian came downstairs, running a hand through his bedhead hair. "Dammit."

I smiled at the boys, "okay, brush your teeth and grab your backpacks. Mackie, go grab a toy for daycare okay?" They all nodded and ran to do their tasks.

Sebastian came to the table, flopping himself down in a chair. "Fuck."

I came behind him, massaging his shoulders. "What happened?"

He shook his head, a deep sigh escaping his mouth. "She ... she just ... I-I don't even know what happened. One minute she's talking about her hair and then she's swearing at me and then I telling her that she's not the adult. And then she slammed the door." He threw his hands up, exasperated by the situation.

I kissed behind his ear and wrapped my arms around his neck, resting my head on his shoulder. "You're doing the best you can."

He snorted, "she tried to blame my schedule for her behavior."

I chuckled, "oh please."

He nodded rubbing my arms. "Baby, maybe the LA thing is a bad idea."

I shook my head, "we could always just leave the kids here with a nanny." I snorted. "Nope, never mind. I couldn't leave my babies here for a few months. Addy is just going to have to grow up, suck it up and realize that she's just a kid."

The twins and Mackie came running down the hall, smiling and giggling. "Mama, we ready." Mackie was pulling on my pant leg.

Sebastian stood clapping his hands, "okay fellas. I'm gonna drive you two-." He pointed at the twins. "To school and you my little Mack Attack, we gotta get you to daycare." The boys smiled, their eyes gleaming at their father. He kissed my cheek. "Back soon, baby."

Two hours later, we were at the grocery store a block from the house. Sebastian walked behind me, pushing the cart. "I just don't understand where my little girl went? You know?"

I nodded, "Oh I know darling. She's growing up so fast."

Sebastian rested his weight onto the cart and sighed. "I was thinking maybe you and I head out to LA a few days early to set the housing and stuff up, spend some quality time together. Scar is dying to have a girls day with you. And Chris, well he misses you."

I laughed, "and what? Leave the kids here?"

He nodded, "My parents are in the same city as us, baby. I already talked to my mot-."

"You already talked to your mother about this?" He shrugged. "What happened to us, as a married couple, discussing things first?"

He sighed, "I know and I wanted to discuss it with you, like how I am right now, but it just that it came up in conversation the other day and we chatted lightly about it. The kids love my parents."

I chuckled, "I know they do. Might be good for them to spend some time with Grandma and Grandpa Stan."

He wiggled his brows, "Mama and Pa get some time alone?"

I laughed, blush filling my cheeks. "We already have four kids, Sebastian."

He winked at me, "protection, baby."

I rolled my eyes, "we need some quality time alone."

He bit his lip and his eyes glared through me. "Damn straight. I'm getting to the point now where I just wanna grab ya and fu-."

"Seb, shhh." A small child was walking beside us and his mother glared at Sebastian and he made a face, literally cuteing his way out of the situation. "That was close. And, I know. You think it was easy having you gone for months, baby. Girls get lonely too."

"The kids are gone till 3." He looked at me with a sparkle of mischievous in his eyes. "Wanna leave?"

"I'll buy the stuff, you run and grab the car."

Sebastian put the groceries away as I sat on the couch after our much needed sex binge, looking through Adaline's baby album. Tears pricked my eyes to see my beautiful little girl; so full of life and happiness. Her thick head of hair in pigtails at 2 weeks old. I found my mind wandering back to when I first found out I was pregnant with her. We had been married for only a few months when I found out.

Sebastian was scheduled to be home in a bit and I couldn't wait to see him. That's when the sickness hit me and I was puking non stop for hours. My loving husband called me from the taxi informing me he was just around the corner. I tried acting excited but he knew something was off. "Baby, you okay?"

I sniffled and leaned over the toilet. "Oh, I'm fine. Just think I caught a bug or something."

"Okay, I'm downstairs now. I'll be up a minute and then I can take care of my sick wife, okay?"

I smiled against the phone, "Okay, baby."

Moments later, Seb came into our small two bedroom apartment to find me hunched over the toilet, puking my guts up. My hair was pulled back into a top knot and my cheeks were flushed and sweaty from the constant heaving. He leaned against the door frame and smiled weakly. "You look pretty bad."

"Jeez, thanks babe. You look good yourself."

He chuckled, "I have an excuse. I've been on a plane for the past 18 hours. China couldn't visit itself, love."

I felt another wave of sickness hit me and I leaned into the toilet, letting the empty heaves echo. "Ugh."

"How long have you been puking for, honey?" He was down by my side now, rubbing small circles on my back.

I shrugged, avoiding talking directly at him. "Seb, I have puke breath. Don't come to close. And maybe like three hours now."

"Grab a change of clothes. I'm taking you to the hospital." He stood walking towards the sink to fetch my toothbrush.

"Seb, I'm fine. Just like the flu or something. Or could be the Chinese food I had last night. It was that place around the corner. You know the place that you always says could be frying cats in the backroom? Ugh, terrible decision by the way."

He handed my toothbrush with some paste on it. "Baby, brush quick. Also, that Chinese place is terrible, why the hell would you pick there to eat?"

I shrugged, standing up slowly with my toothbrush shoved into the corner of my cheek. "I was hungry and was craving greasy food, for some reason."

He bit his bottom lip and looked around. "Period time?"

I started to shake my head but I didn't remember having my period at all this month. "Shit."

His eyes widened, "shit what?"

"I'm late." I spit out the paste, leaning against the sink for support.

"Late for what? For work or an appointment?"

"Sebastian, I'm fucking late. Like late for my period. I haven't had one at all in the past like month." I rubbed the bridge of nose and laughed.

He looked at me like I was crazy but then it hit him. "Oh." He opened his lips to say something but shook his head instead. "Are you pregnant?"

I laughed, "I don't know. I need a test to be sure."

He snickered, "that would explain the cravings and the puking for sure. Be right back."

Twenty minutes later, he returned to the bathroom with a drugstore pregnancy test and he stood outside as I peed on it. "Come in."

I was on the floor my legs crossed underneath of me with the test resting on the side of the tub. Sebastian scooted down beside me and held my hand. "How long?"

"The box says to wait three minutes." I huffed a sigh. "What if it's positive?"

"Well, it's not like we were being overly cautious."

I chuckled, "kinda what being newly married does to you I guess."

"That's kinda what happens when your wife refuses to sleep with you before becoming your wife." He kissed my cheek. "You were worth every second waiting my love."

I smiled and checked my watch. "It's time. Can you look for me?"

He nodded, standing to his feet. His forehead creased as he held the tiny stick in his large hands. "What does two lines mean?"

I chuckled, a sob sneaking in. "Sebastian, we're pregnant."

His eyes filled with tears and he sunk down beside me again. "I'm gonna be a daddy?"

I nodded tears slipping down my cheeks. "I'm gonna be a mommy."

I must've fallen asleep. He was taking the album from my hands and it stirred me awake. "Hey."

He smiled, "hello, love. You fell asleep."

"Oh, sorry. For how long?"

He shrugged, "maybe like half hour." He opened the book and smiled at the pictures of Addy. "I remember the day we found out you were pregnant with her."

I laughed, "I was just dreaming about that. The first one is always the hardest, right? I mean, the boys seemed to be so much easier."

He nodded, raising his arm so I could squeeze in closer to him. "Yep, Addy was so much easier to raise when she was smaller. Remember her crazy head of hair? She came out of you with black as raven locks."

I remembered for the longest time when Addy was growing up, Sebastian always called her his Raven. "You called her that for a while too."

Smiling, he kissed my temple. "My little raven is all grown up .. or so she thinks."

I sighed, blowing the air out forcefully. "What are we suppose to do here Seb?"

He grunted as his head fell backwards, "honestly. We just take her with us and figure out the rest as we go."

[atalantaz]

Tag people things

I thought I was able to post the first two parts months ago BUT IT WAS JUST IN MY DRAFTS OTL

So here I am... I’ll just put them all in one post for convenience, plus it is also long so 

Arrives months late with Milk ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

I got tagged by @unerringherring, thank you for the tag! Sorry to have kept you waiting;;

Rules: You can tell a lot about a person by the music they listen to. Put your playlist on shuffle and list the first 10 songs.

My music taste? Nonexistent. It’s all over the place

1. Holding Out For a Hero - Bonnie Tyler

2. Do As Infinity / 深い森（Fukai Mori）

3. DESPAIR (MACARON/ マカロン but Dangan Ronpa Inspired) - MissPavalova

4. I forgot I had this in my playlist holy shit

5. Hall of Fame - The Script

6. poison -劇薬- 狛枝凪斗(CV.緒方恵美) - Yes, this is what you think it is

7. Kill The Lights - Set It Off

8.  光るなら／Goose house

9. Wired Life - Meisa Kuroki

10. Immortals - Fall Out Boy

Tagged by @dettouo thankies for the tag~ My apologies for the late reply! OTL

Rules: Answer the 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers/people you’d like to get know better.

Name: ╰( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ

Nickname: I go by Sera/Sefira

Zodiac: ♎

Height: Last I checked I was Maki height

Orientation: Panro

Nationality: Balut

Favourite Fruit: Mango, and then Lychee

Favourite Season: We don’t have 4 seasons here, only the ‘hot and dry’ season and ‘cold and wet’ season, and I prefer the latter

Favourite Book: I barely read books lately but I recently watched The Little Prince’s movie and now I remember 10 year old me reading the book but didn’t understand much 

Favourite Flower: Forget-me-nots

Favourite Scent: HMMM freshly washed sheets, I guess? And maybe duavent because I need it to live

Favourite Colour: Tsumugi Shirogane’s color palette Light blue, blue in general

Favourite Animal: Dolphins

Coffee | Tea | Hot cocoa: Depends on my mood, lately I drink more tea than most

Average sleep hours: Ranging from 4 to 10 

Cat or dog person: I want to have a pet cat but I miss my dog

Favorite fictional character: I think I’ve made it obvious who it is, but if not from the Danganronpa franchise then it’ll be Mephisto Pheles from Ao no Exorcist

Number of blankets you sleep with: one or none 

Dream trip: Oh this is hard, since I do want to go to Japan, Canada, Austria, New Zealand, and some parts of the US. I guess Japan then? Gotta get all those DR merch PFFFF

Blog created: Aug 2015 

Number of followers:  How many sentient Monokuma are there

Random fact:  

⚠ VIDEO WARNING FOR V3 END GAME CONTENT ⚠ http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm31246442 is my favorite MMD video of all time and you can assume I’m dead once I don’t watch this once a day.

Other than that, I’ve been binge watching a lot of V3 videos, whether they were Drew It or MMD videos, just to fill the void in my heart that was left by V3

Tagged by @morally-ambiguous-llama! Thank you so much for the tag! ^^

1.) Tag 9 people you want to know more about: 

2.) BOLD those statements that are true for you

APPEARANCE:

I am 5'7" or taller

I wear glasses

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair

I have brown eyes

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined

I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY:

I love meeting new people

People tell me that I’m funny

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

I can sing well

I can play an instrument

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well

I have a good memory

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute (its been years since I last went swimming so idk)

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else

I have learned a new song in the past week

I work out at least once a week

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past years

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favourite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS:

I’m in a relationship 

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know

I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have never been in a relationship

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush on someone for over a year

I have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”

I live close to my school (high school, not my uni)

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the United States

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with a friend in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CDs

I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced

I know a person named Jamie

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life

I speak at least 2 languages 

I have made a new friend in the past year

Aaaand that’s all! I didn’t want to tag anyone because I don’t want to take up their time ^^’ that, and I think by now most people have done these sort of things?;;

[etcetezine-blog]

Put That In Etcetezine--I Mean, The Yearbook!

“Senior quote ideas!

Binterong

Celebrities

Oprah:

“You get a car, and you get are car, everybody gets a car!”

“Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness.”

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”

“Some women have a weakness for shoes... I can go barefoot if necessary. I have a weakness for books.”

“Step Away from the Mean Girls…

…and say bye-bye to feeling bad about your looks.

Are you ready to stop colluding with a culture that makes so many of us feel physically inadequate? Say goodbye to your inner critic, and take this pledge to be kinder to yourself and others. This is a call to arms. A call to be gentle, to be forgiving, to be generous with yourself. The next time you look into the mirror, try to let go of the story line that says you're too fat or too sallow, too ashy or too old, your eyes are too small or your nose too big; just look into the mirror and see your face. When the criticism drops away, what you will see then is just you, without judgment, and that is the first step toward transforming your experience of the world.”

Emeril Lagasse:

“Bam!”

“If somebody has a chance to put my food in their mouth, that tells the story.”

Bill Clinton:

“I did not have sexual relations with that woman”

“When I was in England I experimented with marijuana a time or two -- and didn't like it -- and didn't inhale and never tried inhaling again.”

“I tried marijuana once. I did not inhale.”

“Sometimes when people are under stress, they hate to think, and it's the time when they most need to think.”

“You can put wings on a pig, but you don't make it an eagle.”

“When our memories outweigh our dreams, it is then that we become old.”

“Being President is like being the groundskeeper in a cemetery: there are a lot of people under you, but none of them are listening.”

“If you want to live like a Republican, vote like a Democrat.”

James Earl Jones:

“This is CNN”

“I don't ever want to be a sentimentalist. I prefer to be a realist. I'm not a romantic really.”

“Acting is not about anything romantic, not even fantasy, although you do create fantasy.”

“Speech is a very important aspect of being human. A whisper doesn't cut it.”

“The world is filled with violence. Because criminals carry guns, we decent law-abiding citizens should also have guns. Otherwise they will win and the decent people will lose.”

Groucho Marx:

“Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others”

“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies”

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”

“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana”

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.”

“I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.”

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”

“When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”

“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”

“I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.”

“I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.”

“He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.”

“If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”

“Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it.”

“Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.”

“Whatever it is, I'm against it.”

Books, TV Shows, and Movies of Our Childhood

The Suite Life of Zach and Cody:

“It was supposed to be a honey mist auburn!” Cody Martin “well honey you missed auburn bugtime” Zack Martin

“Yay Me!!!!” London tipton

London: I don't like this tangerine! Maddie: No, that is a Tam-bo-rine! A tangerine is what the audience is gonna throw at you!

Max: Everyone knows nothing rhymes with orange. Tapeworm: Oh yeah? What about "snorange"? Max: Thank you, Dr. Seuss.

Cody: Zachary! Zack: Codery!

Zack: I know he's having a miserable time. We have twin telepathy. It's like my brain is receiving phone calls from him.

Carey: Well, you have a bad connection. Hang up. Zack: Uh, uh. I can sense these things. Remember when Cody broke his leg and I sensed it? Carey: That's because you fell on him and broke it.

Cody: [on cell phone answering machine] Hi. This Cody using my mother's phone. Leave a message, and remember: numbers are your friend.

Moseby: Are you familiar with the gear shift? London: You mean the PRNDL? [PRNDL pronounced "prindle] Moseby: Are you referring to the shift lever that says P-R-N-D-L? London: I'm not a child Moseby, I know how to spell PRNDL. Moseby: It's not something that you spell, it is a gear shift. The letters stand for Park, Reverse, Neutral, Drive, and Low!! London: You're making me nervous with all this technical talk. Moseby: Oh! I'm sorry, Why don't we just relax, turn on the radio. Would you like AMMM or FMMMM?!

London: there are no buildings on the highway.

Maddie: Well in all fairness to London I have to say, even though I was being held against my will - and my lawyers will be in touch - she did a pretty good job driving up here.

Cody: Don't move anywhere! Your cornered around with my knowledge! Zack: Sure the only fighting skills he has is his brain.

Mr. Moseby: Your father has to stay incognito. London: Where is Cognito? Mr. Moseby: In hiding. London: Where is Hiding?

Maddie: It's a special night. Don't make me slap you.

London: Hey, every time I'm in the paper, my social life just gets better and better.

Moseby: We don't have a dungeon, but I can have him fired.

Cody: I've gotta win this science award. Then I can get into M.I.T. and invent a nanobot that eats oil spills and be able to retire comfortably while taking care of my aging mother and paying my brother's bail money.

Zack: So dyslexic, I am? Mr. Forgess: Well, it like looks it--I mean, it looks like it.

Kurt: That's what your mother said when she left me, and a few other things I can't mention.

London: It's just there are so many beautiful things out there to buy. How can you possibly resist them?

London: Yep. I've hit rock bottom. And I don't like rock bottom. It's so rock bottomy.

London: Daddy always says, competition's a good thing. It's a chance to crush people.

London: Well, you were wrong, with a capital R.

Cody:  Zack, this is a chance for us to really help people. I'm thinking about working with kids...You better take this seriously or you're gonna fail while I get an A. Zack: You're one of the kids I hate.

Carey: [to the twins] Hey, guys. What'cha been doing? Cody: Inspiring people to reach their full potential and achieve their dreams.

Maddie: You're going down! London: You're going downer!

Cody: [to Sanjay] Don't listen to him. That's what he always says right before we get grounded.

Zack: I have a plan… ,Cody:  Don't listen to him. That's what he always says right before we get grounded... Correction. That's what he always says right before we get grounded.

Warren: It's elegant yet casual. Bob: It's sophisticated yet tasteful. Zack: I think it's stupid yet stupid.

Trevor: And then she said "who" instead of "whom". I'm not a grammar snob, but it's just egregious when somebody uses the subjective case instead of the accusative case, hahaha!

Esteban: [sings] Rock-a-bye, chicken, in the tree top. Watch out for the farmer. Your head he will chop. [the children start crying] Zack: Don't you know any lullabies that don't involve decapitating poultry?

Moseby: At the league of extraordinary hotel managers. If only I could find out which guest he is, then I could make sure he gets the perfect dining experience.

Carey: If I give you guys pets, will you stop bugging me? Twins: Yes. Carey: Pet rocks. Don't overfeed them. Cody: I'm gonna name mine Tim.

Zack: You don't have to do everything Mr. Moseby says. We like to think of his rules more as... suggestions.

Cody: It's about doing your homework, eating your broccoli when Mom isn't looking! Zack: You offered it to me! Cody: Yeah, because that's what brothers do for each other! But it's never reciprocal! Zack: Huh? Cody: Reciprocal means it would be nice if you did something for me for a change! Zack: I did! You offered me money and I took it!

Carey: Relax, Cody. I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself. Cody: I'm not putting too much pressure on me. Harvard's putting too much pressure on me! Yale is putting too much pressure on me! Princeton! M.I.T! Stanford! Do you think they're out there looking for under-achievers? If I don't ace woodshop, I'll end up being one of those guys who sells hot dogs and sleeps in a taxi!

Zack: Do you think wood grows on trees?

Moseby: You know, the older I get, the more I realize that you have to look adversity in the face and say 'You don't scare me.'

Zack: That works for me. Because if tomorrow is going to be today again, then today is actually yesterday, which means that yesterday's homework isn't due today, it's really due... tomorrow!

London: Moseby, it's your birthday? Wait, you have a birthday?? Since when??? Mr. Moseby: Pretty much since the day I was born. Hence the term birth-day.

Mr. Moseby: Don't talk, and listen. Now, I am not going to fire Armando. I mean, you're the one who ruined the show. By the way, what happened to his real assistant?

Mr. Moseby: Oh ya, the oooops always makes it better. Perhaps you'd stick some bacon in my ears

Zack: The point is, there's a lot of great adventures out there, but you can't have any of them stuck in here with a bunch of weird bald dudes.

Mr. Moseby: In the weekend, that must be failed in the treasure hunt we'll never be able to do. Because of me, that always has to do with that the end of the story.

iCarly:

“In three two one, i know you see somehow the world will change for me and be so wonderful”

“You’ll rue the day carly shay, rue it!” Neville

Spencer: Well, it seems our sign is so bright and dazzling, it distracted one of the drivers below. [Hears another car crash] Actually, two of the driver-- [Another crash] Three of the dr-- [Another crash] Literally, many of the drivers below are being distracted by our extremely dazzling sign.

Spencer: Alright, don't worry too much about this yet, just... go do your homework or something. Carly: Kay. Spencer: I mean... YOU GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK RIGHT NOW, YOUNG LADY! Carly: Yes, sir! Spencer: AND JUST SAY NO! Carly: Always! Spencer: AND STAY IN SCHOOL! Carly: Maybe.

Carly: I'm not a child! I'm just young and short.

Spencer: No, there's a distinction. This is her homework schedule and a number for a tutor because she's been having a little trouble with science. These are the vitamins that she needs to take everyday. I only give her the ones shaped like dinosaurs. Granddad: Why? Spencer: Dinosaurs are cool. Oh, and she's really into drinking coffee, [whispers] but I always give her decaf without telling her.

Spencer: [to camera] Never forget to buy candy on Halloween.

Sam: This thing is full of top-notch freaks, mutants and psychos!

Sam: Ooh! I got kicked out of the cafeteria for slapping Gibby with a piece of pizza.

Carly: [speaking very fast] Yes, I did, too! He told me that he can beat his dad in arm wrestling, and I said, "No way," and he said, "Oh, no, it's true," and I said, "Wow, you must be really strong," and he said, "Well, I work out a little bit," and I said, "Really?" And he said, "Yeah, you wanna feel my biceps?" And I said, "Sure, I do," and so I felt them, and they felt awesome.

High School Musical:

“Cause its the start of something new…”

“Once a wildcat, always a wildcat” Troy Bolton

“I always liked the idea of being in charge of my future, until it actually started happening” Troy Bolton

“Ah microwave popcorn. Haha very funny” Troy Bolton

“Hip hop is my passion. I love to pop, and lock, and jam, and break.” Martha Cox

“It’s called crime and punishment Bolton. Besides, proximity to the arts is cleansing for the soul”

“Hey you know what? Someday you guys might thank me for this, or not” MC at the game

“While we are working, let us probe the mounting evils of cell phones… perhaps the most heinous example of cell phone use is ringing in the theater. The theater is a chapel of arts, a precious cornucopia of creative energy.” Ms. Darbus

Sky High:

“What a waste. I can't do anything more to help you. I'm not Wonder Woman, you know” Principle powers

“What's embarrassing him in front of the entire class going to prove? That is so unfair” Layla  “Yeah, well if life were to suddenly get fair, I doubt it would happen in high school’ Will Stronghold

“Now I know it's just our first day, but I already can't wait to graduate and start saving mankind... And womankind. And animalkind” Layla

“There's only one person authorized to transport superheroes: Ron Wilson - Bus Driver” Ron Wilson, Bus Driver

“And now, so many years later, that plan is complete. My only regret: This may be the finest super-villian speech ever given - and you don't even know what I'm saying!” Gwen

Ultra-Niche

“See you on the flip side!” Janet Anderson

“Make it a great day, or not, the choice....... is yours.” SPMS

Vines

“A potato flew around my room”

“Do it for the vine” Rip Vine

“F*** Ya chicken strips” That guy from vine

“You’ll never be s*** duck, you’re just like your father!”

“What up I’m Jared I’m nineteen and I never f****** learned how to read” Jared, 19