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venomous-ko · 3 years

Text

Wine Drunk while watching Godzilla vs Kong

Some major spoilers up ahead!

Mans really just annoyed the shit out of his coworker until he left so he could hack shit, huh?...I love it! 🤣🤣

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You mean to tell me that the explanation for why Godzilla attacked the one tech company site by the dude who studied Kaiju communication and behavior for a living is just, “sometimes people (and creatures) change”???? Like some dumbass justifying a toxic person/relationship??? Like excuse me???? Why are the literal teenagers making more sense than you?????

Also, we’re all in agreement that this facility is either housing Ghidora’s dead head, Mecha Godzilla, or Mecha Ghidora, right?!?

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Lol! “Apex Cybernetics!” That’s not foreshadowing! 🤣

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Apparently, I didn’t get my fill of white nonsense from Falcon and Winter Soldier, bc someone decided to put this blonde-hair-blue-eyed little bitch in charge! That’s not ganna go wrong somehow. 🙃😑👀

Like this bitch literally wanted to send a fucking child into unexplored hollow earth territory without a second thought! 🙃🙃🙃🙃 I was literally like 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕 for that entire convo.

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I’m sorry! This conspiracy man just met these teenagers, and his first impulse was, “yeah, theses seem like some good people to break into a tech conglomerate with!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Why are these people surprised Kong knows sign language? These are people who study Kaiju (and presumably other animals in order to draw conclusions about certain behaviors) for a fucking living!!! We have primate species that recognize and communicate in sign language already! Why is this surprising???!?! Like...has NO ONE except this precious child tried this????

Also, nothing bad better happen to this child.

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That ship literally fucked around, and Godzilla let it find out! Lmao!

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Kong: Hey, Godzilla...look at me...

Godzilla: >:[

Kong: ...bitch.

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Precious girl: Thank you, friend 🧏🏽‍♀️

Kong: ☺️😴

THIS GIRL IS TOO PRECIOUS!!!!

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Bitch-ass White Man: How’s Kong with heights?

BITCH, you really ganna try that?!?! You really think you ganna find any aircraft(s) that are ganna be able to support all that weight?? Never mind any other problems with Kong trying to nope the fuck out of that situation and all kind of other hosts of problems!

And if you do somehow have one (or multiple) WHY TF DIDN’T YOU USE THAT BEFORE KNOWING FULL AND WELL YOU RAN THE RISK OF GODZILLA MERCING KONG’S ASS IF YOU TRAVELED VIA SHIP!?!?!?!

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Down the Hell Naw tunnel we go!

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“I think it’s romantic,”

I fucking love Millie Bobbie Brown’s character!! 🤣❤️🤣

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WHY IS THIS TEENAGER SMARTER THAN EVERYBODY OMG!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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“This is page one in the ‘Playing God’ handbook, right?”

I’ve decided I love this character! 🤣

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WHY YOU GETTING INSIDE THAT THING—Oh god! 😨 Why y’all got eggs!?!? This is like if Weyland-Yutani succeeded in getting Xenomorphs! 😬

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Oop! Locked in! THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T HIDE OUT IN MYSTERIOUS ROOMS!!!!

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Oh shit! Apex Cybernetics think they on that Wakanda shit now!

Also, why was that one Apex Cybernetics bitch bitching about how one of those HEAV crafts could power Vagas for a week if y’all clearly have a whole network or transportation using this tech!

And I never understood how tech companies kept that shit to world domination shit! Build a public transportation system with that shit! Boss man said he likes ideas that make him rich! Pretty sure that would do the trick!

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WINE BREAK!!!

Saving the rest of the last bottle for coking Gumbo, so gotta open up a new bottle

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Aw, Kong is so sick of this bullshit! 😂😭

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“It’s not working”

Bruh! Give it more that two seconds!

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HOW DARE Y’ALL USE KONG’S LOSS AGAINST HIM!!!! HOW DARE Y’ALL!!!

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HEAV go Brrrrrrr Shoooooooooooom!!!!

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LMAO!!! Monarch has their own brand of bottled water!?!?! Idk why that amuses me so much!

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This hallow earth portal thing is some Pacific Rim bullshit right here, lol!

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NYOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM

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Are we...are we really Ice Age: Dawn of Dinosaur-ing this shit rn??? 😂😂😂

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“It’s beautiful,”

Of course it’s beautiful! No hoomins have touched it! Lol

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Y’ALL GOT FUCKIN DRAGONS IN THIS BITCH!?!?!?!!! 8D YO!!! SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!!!!

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*marvels at the creature creation ideas*

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Kong’s first thought: *nom the dragon guts*

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THE ROCK HAND OMG IM GANNA CRY!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 It’s the same gesture the Precious Girl did OMG!!!!

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“We going in?”

“Yeah”

The BALLS on this child!

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“AAAAHH 😐”

*fear*

LMAO!!!!! I’M FUCKIN WHEEZING!!!

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“Sacrifice Pit”

OMG 🤣🤣🤣

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I KNEW IT!!!! MECHA-GODZILLA MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!! 8DDDDD

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YO PACIFIC RIM RAN SO MECHA-GODZILLA COULD FUCKIN SPRINT!!!!!!!!

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YO IT’S A GOOD THING I AIN’T SEEING THIS IN THEATERS BC I’D BE FLIPPING MY SHIT!!!!

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“Humanity, once again, will be the apex species,”

THERE it is!

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Why Mecha-Godzilla so skeeny?!? He need ta be thicc if he ganna take down REAL Godzilla!

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*Ryan Bergera conspiracy voice* Is this the real reason Kong was contained!? So this douche could snatch up Skull Crawlers without Kong intervention???

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OH SHIT!!! I think this thing is emitting alpha waves (or whatever we’re calling it) and THAT’s what set Godzilla off!!! He fought Ghidorah, heard this shit and went, “Nu-uh, bitch! NOT AGAIN!!!”

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Monarch dude: Yo, Godzilla’s headed to Hong Kong for some reason?

FUCKIN CALLED IT!!!

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This look like the door to fuckin General Grievous’s lair,da fuq?!? 🤣🤣🤣

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I got waaay too emotional over that handprint, y’all! 😭😭😭

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Y’all, the fucking art history major in me is fuckin screaming at this temple scene! The fact that some of these Kaiju not only had the urge and drive and capacity to build a fucking temple around this power source or some shit and create weapons like the axe that Kong just fucking Excalibured the shit out of that one skull crawler’s skull fucking implies the fact that there is intelligent civilization amongst these fucking Kaiju and all that shit! I want to know more about this shit! Take that you fucking racist-ass white historian motherfuckers!

(Note: I definitely needed to use talk to text for much of this bit, because there was no way I was going to be able to contain all my excitement in just typing, alone, lmao)

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BRUH!!! Why y’all exiting g the HEAV without no breathing apparatus or lead suits or nothing!?!?! In previous movies, y’all implied that these Kaiju lived in environments in which their environments were hella radioactive compared to our own!!!

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Kong is s the true heir to the iron throne, Lmao!

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FUCKING CALLED IT!!!! THEY HAD GHIDORA’S REMAINS IN THERE SOMEWHERE!!!!

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OH FUCK!!!! Y’ALL AINT JUST SENDING OUT ALPHA VIBES WITH YOUR MECHA-GODZILLA!!!! YOU SOMEHOW USING GHIDORA’S HIVE MIND OR TELEPATHY SHIT TO DO IT!?!?!?! AAAWWWWW SHEEEEEET!!! Y’ALL ARE BONED NOW!!!! FUCKIN BONEROWNED!!!!

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Godzilla! My bruh! My dude! You didn’t HAVE TO get up right where that bridge was!!! 😂😂 Ya douche bag!!!

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At the same time, tho, I can just hear him going, “Ah! FUCK! NOT AGAIN!!! Sunova bitch!! Motherfuckin!! STOP BUILDING sHIT SO DAMN HIGH!!! Goddammit!”

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You know, with all the Bright twinkly lights in Hong Kong, I can’t help but think of the sequel to the original Gojira movie ( that I can’t remember the title of ,rn) where he was fucking triggered by fucking lights. And I wonder if this little scene where he’s stomping all through Hong Kong is a tribute to that or whatever. But I’m probably overthinking it.

[Sober Edit: it was Godzilla Raids Again]

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*GASP* HOLY SIHIIIT!!! The axe is made out of Godzilla skute!?!?! GOLY BALLS THAT’S NOT ONLY COOL BUT CONTRIBUTES MORE TO THE FACT THAT THESE KAIJU (likely Kong’s species, in particular) WERE REALLY FUCKING INTELLIGENT AMD TJOUGHT, “Imma beat this muthafucka with their own spiky thing! Bc that’s what screws us over, so, why WOULD’nt it hurt them!?!” I need SO MUCH MORE of this Kaiju/Kong culture studied and shit! HOLY FUCK!!!

It even fucking glows!! Like ... they managed to fucking piece together that its glow was a fucking warning sign like Sting or some shit!!!! Holy fuck!!!!

Also, how does that work? How are the skutes still connected even after dismemberment???

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NO FUCKIN WAY WRE YOU—AAAAAAAAHHH!!! Excalibur that shit my boi!!!!

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I FUCKIN LOVE YHIS MOVIE HOLY SHIT!!!

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“ that’s Apex property now,”

Excuse me bitch! Are we really not gonna listen to the scientist who saying “hey we don’t understand the shit out of this fucking power! Maybe we should hold off on taking some fucking samples!”

Are we really just gonna ignore that shit???????

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Kong said: TRY ME BITCH!!!!

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Oh thank the GODS this Serizawa dude is taking precautions like his old man! Also, what is his relation to Ken Watanabe’s Serizawa!?!?!

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UH OH!! SOLDIER DUDES GETTIN ATE!!!

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OH SHIT!!! PILOT JUST GOT ATE!!! FUCKIN DRAGON BASEMENT UP IN THIS SHIT!!!

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BITCH YOU REALLY GON THROW A ROCK AT IT!!! FUCKIN NONSENSE OF THIS BITCH!!!

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LOVE AND FITE ME ENERGY IS STORED IN THE ATOMIC BREATH

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“Shoot him!”

WHY!!!???!! He literally had NO problem with you before then!!!

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Why does white man who don’t know anything about this vehicle suddenly know how to pilot this shit!???!?!!!!!

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Y’all love had SO MUCH wine!

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The FUCK this dude got a flip flop phone for!!!?!????!!!?

Da fuq!?!?! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 yeah that’s the most unrealistic part of this entire fucking movie! Not the fuckin Kaiju robots. Not the fucking hollow earth bullshit! The fucking flip phone! LMFAO!!!!

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“Maintenance! I’M MAINTENANCE!!! This bitch ain’t buying it”

That made me laugh WAY FUCKIN harder that it should have!!!!

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Y’all really ganna try to shoot at a kid!?! REALLY!?!?!??!

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GAWD, I’m so glad I impulse bought these oatmeal bites from Dominos! 🤤😋

[Sober Edit: I have no idea how my autocorrect managed to convert “Parmesan” to “oatmeal,” but okay! 😆😅]

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Kong be like, “Hey, bitch!!! You lookin’ for me!?!?”

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Find you a partner that bites your neck like Godzilla does! Lmao!

Sorry, I’ll be crawling back into my hell hole, now.

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EAT YOUR FOOKIN VEGETABLES GODZILLA!!!!!

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Did Godzilla just axe throw with his fuckin teefs!!!????!?!?!

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THIS IS THE FOOKIN MONSTER VS MONSTER FIGHTS IVE BEEN CRAVING SINCE KING OF THE MONSTERS HOLY SHIT!!!!

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“Really? Groupies, again?”

First of all, again!?! What happened last time???

Secondly, where tf are YOUR grpupies, asshole! No need to judge! Ya cunt!

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“There can only be one alpha,”

Really! You really gotta bring your toxic masculinity into a fuckin monster fight, my dude!?!

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Kong said, “Yeet! YEET SELF!!!”

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I am living for the feral fight scenes!!!!

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Kong’s expression , tho! 🤣🤣🤣

Like, “Can you ducking NOT, Godzilla?!? Can you, like, fucking chill??!!? Aight, fine! ASDASHKLSDJKLDZJL ADKLKDZDJ!!!!!!”

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Awwwww! Godzilla let Kong go, bc he knows what it’s like to be the last of his species! 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭

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“This is how we [...] win!”

Oh, honey, you ‘bout to die! Lmao! 😂

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Oh god! I knew he was going to use the sign for “coward” at the most inappropriate time! Lmao! At least the Precious Girls is smart enough to know what Dumbass White Man means, lol

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Oh, thank god we do t see this dumbass in any sequels!

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Dammit, he escaped!

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This girl is too good!

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Did y’all really think you were ganna break into a semi-sentient Mecha-Godzilla by GUESSING ITS FUCKING PASSWORD!!?!?!?!!!!???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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YEAH!!!! TEAM-UP COMING THROUGH!!!!!

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“I was hoping to die with adults, but that’s okay,”

🤣🤣🤣

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“I’VE GOT TO DIE WITB YOU AND SOBER!!?!?!”

GOD, I love this movie!!!!

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OOOOOOHHHH HOLY SHIT!!!!! 😱😱😱😱😱 He powering up the axe!!!!!

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YOOOOOO KONG WENT PREDATOR/YOUTJA ON MECHA-GODZILLA’s ASS!!!!

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Kong said, “I’m done, y’all! Imma take a nap!”

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“Dad. Uh...Bernie.”

I fucking love Bernie!!! 😂😂😂😂

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JIA NOOOO!!! Don’t go running between two disgruntled Kaiju bby!!

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Yo, why do monsters have less toxic masculinity than we do??? Lol!

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Yaaaaaay! Kong has a new home!!

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WELP!!! I fucking loved this movie, and I highly recommend it to everyone!!!

#SPOILERS #Godzilla #godzilla vs kong #King Kong #kaijuverse #my posts #my drunk ass #godzilla vs kong spoilers

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pacifistofpatience · 5 years

Note

this may be the most self indulgent thing I've ever asked, but what sort of weddings would each of the skeletons want?

((ANON TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE MONSTER YOU CREATED!!)

Elop-ish—Papyrus, Red, Rus, Pappy

Quite one/family and friends thing—Sky,Sans, Boss, Jupiter, Mars

Big Party!!—Black

And on top of that:

Mix and match- Jupiter, Sky, Pappy, Mars, Boss

More monster centered- Black, Rus, Sans

More human centered- Red, Papyrus

AND ANOTHER (This is more of an afterthought):

More likely to be running around talking with others (Within Reason! Of course!): Mars, Sky

Stays by your side the entire time: Black, Sans, Pappy, Red

Follows you around: Rus, Jupiter

Drags you with him: Boss, Papyrus

Below the cut is a very long post along with outfits depending on weather you’re a dress or suit wearing Human

Undertale

Is Papyrus gonna be there? Awesome. Oh shoot wait how about Tori? She’d love it. Well if we’re gonna invite them then we gotta invite Undyin and Alphys and… Sans started out thinking it would be a quiet little thing until he remembered that he actually… has a good amount of friends that would be pretty sad (Or hell bent on beating him up) if they didn’t get invited to the wedding. A lot of the planning going to be left up to his S/O with his little additions here and there that… don’t quite make it an actual wedding but somehow make it feel like the best day of their lives. Honestly, during the entire planning session you’d think he didn’t doanything, but then he comes out actually looking nice for once in his life and (if they’re doing them) with his own, tear inducing, vows that it hits his S/O just how much they love him.

Songs you could dance to: Can’t help Falling In love with you – Elvis/ Fast Car - tracy chapman

Impulsive to a fault Papyrus falls hard and fast. It’s not that his emotions are any less genuine because of how quickly he moves, it’s just that sometimes he needs to take a step back and think of what his S/O wants before he jumps on the old marriage wagon. If he had it his way, the two of them would be married five months in and already living that blissful married life. But, given the chance to plan out the wedding, Papyrus would love to experience a human marriage first hand! He’s been to plenty of monster ones! And knows the steps well enough that you two can have your own one at a later date!

Songs you could dance to: Lucky - Jason Mraz / Earth, Wind & Fire - September

Underswap:

Sky has the wedding planned out long before he proposes. He’s probably been dropping little hints here and there, asking what colors his S/O would love to have for a party. Would they prefer an indoor or outdoor one? At some point they’re going to think he’s planning a surprise party for them… or… something? His S/O will be unsure of what it is until he’s finally popping the question! And then it’s a whirlwind of planning and sending out invitations as both of them rush to get married (Which is part of the reason why he had it planned out so far in advanced!) Thankfully! Sky is very much flexible and willing to work with his S/O to make this the perfect wedding! And, while you guys are at it, how about you pick and choose some of the fun monster and humans’ bits!

Songs you could dance to: I’m Yours – Jason Mraz/ Ed Sheeran - Photograph

Pappys a sweetheart, and he loves his S/O dearly…but…maybe they could do something with less people? Maybe even something with no people. Pappy is not good with the whole ‘get married in front of a crowd of people judging him’ and, stars, if he’s going to pour his (nonexistent) heart and (very much anxious) soul out to his S/O he’s going to need the peace. More than anything he’d rather jump into the heat of the moment and marry you in some far off place somewhere with a nice view (both outside and right next to him) and just… somewhere he can just outright tell his S/O how much they really mean to him. Of course, he knows that it’s a lot to ask of someone, so he’s willing to work around his insecurities in order to make it the perfect day for the both of them. Or, if yhis S/O is willing, he’d be happy to do the whole party marriage thing and than on their honeymoon have a small, Two person affair.

Songs you could dance to: Iris – Goo Goo Dolls/ Marry Me- Train/ Poet – Bastille

Underfell:

The moment Red decides that his S/O is the one is the moment he knows he’s jumping all in. And that means he needs to act now, before he chickens out (like he did the last three, four, five times) He didn’t mean for it to happen like it does, but you two are probably on vacation or something and he spots a ceremony happening and just, suggests it offhand (in that totally not joking tone) and the second his S/O seems down with it is the second he’s yanking them along and thinking that as long as he can get the ring on quick enough there’s no way they can call takeies backies. (one thing he would be adamant about though is having a Elvis impersonator there, he doesn’t care what for he just needs)

Songs you could dance to: Honeybee – Steam Powered Giraffe/ Safe and Sound - civil wars/ Take Me To church – Hozier/

Boss Is actually… Pretty quiet about the whole affair. After he asks he spends almost all his time quietly planning everything out as soon as he possibly can, its not nerves that have him, but theres a buzzing, giddy, energy thrumming in him that if he doesn’t use for something he’ll probably end up bursting! That goes all the way up until the big day, where he’s there and his just sees his S/O and crashes, Error 404 Boss not working. Its like the wave of what he now knows was anxiety just dispersed the moment he saw them there, real and solid and undoubtedly his (Because sometimes he was worried that at any moment they could change their mind, any second they could see him as he sees himself and just… just leave… and stars he cant deal with that) But then his S/O is there, and getting married and spending the rest of their life with him because his S/O loves him and… And he’s so in love! During the end of the night there’s going to be that one big kiss where he ends up sweeping his S/O off their feet and just… never puts them down. Then for the rest of the party he’s just there holding them in his arms shoving them in everyone’s face because “LOOK! LOOK! THIS IS MY BEAUTIFUL AND STUNNING WIFE/HUSBANDS/PARTNER AND THEYRE MINE!”

Songs you could dance to: I’ll Be - Edwin McCain/ Shallows – lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper

Swapfell:

For Black, it’s less of a party and more of a “invite everyone I can so that they know this amazing and stunning person officially MINE’ thing. He’s going to invite every monster, he’s going to get your family there, and, if you don’t stop him, hell invite all your Exs too just to rub it in their noses that he’s the one you choose to spend the rest of your life with! Which may also make it more of a monster-oriented wedding, where you both have a collar to give to the other instead of the traditional wedding rings. A good amount of the wedding is him putting of a calm of easy front when hes pratcally just brimming with energy underneath, because their his, because he loves them so gosh darn much, because their wearing his collar and the restrain he’s using not to jump them right there is killing him.

Songs you could dance to: Hallelujah – Jeff Buckley/ I See the Light – Rapunzel ,

Rus doesn’t mean for the marriage to be sudden. Heck he probably would love to have something big and smoopy where he can proclaim to everyone just how much he loves his S/O, but the impulsiveness kicks in and… well Black had always been most of his self-restraint. His S/Os going to have to rein him in so that they can have a proper wedding like he wants! And Rus likes a little familiarity, so he’d prefer a monster wedding to a human one, especially because he desperately wants to see his S/O in the collar he picked out for them! (And stars he’s getting weak thinking about the collar they have for him as well!)

Songs you could dance to: Perfect – Ed Sheeren/ Die A Happy Man - Thomas Rhett

Horrortale:

Jupiter, ever the sweetheart, would probably have something for just the two of you if he could (Or, like, a lazy movie night that ended with you guys saying your vows and that’s it) but after a little while on the surface he started to come out of his shell again… and gained a few friends (Both old and New) that would be really sad if he just came back on day announcing he’s was married to one of the greatest S/O’s in the world without them knowing! So! With the help of the greatest little bro in the world! You guys set up a nice little backyard wedding (Or anywhere in an opened field) where you guys can celebrate however you want to!

Songs you could dance to: Thinking Out Loud – Ed Sheeren/ Blackbird – The Beatles

With Mars you never have to worry about planning! He’s going to be the one making calls and setting up dates and sending out invitations all on his own! And sure maybe he’ll burn himself out a little but he’s riding high enough that he cant tell! Just to make sure he doesn’t wear himself out his S/O will have to sneak their way into his very tight planning regime to make sure, and the best way to do that is to just… give their opinion. The second Mars hears his S/O’s input he’s already making room for them to help! And, while Mars is very much a practical monster, wouldn’t it be nice to have a… sort of fairy tale wedding? It doesn’t have to be all out there but… he would love to have something sort of… Mystical about it! Because, by the stars, does he feel like a miracle happened when his S/O agreed to marry him!

Songs you could dance to: Bubbly - Colbie Caillat/ You Are in love -Taylor Swift / Laughter Lines – Bastille

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kickstarter-promotion · 8 years

Photo

Another Amazing Kickstarter (The Land of Elpoep, YA Fantasy (teen author) by Charles Areson —Kickstarter) has been published on http://crowdmonsters.com/new-kickstarters/the-land-of-elpoep-ya-fantasy-teen-author-by-charles-areson-kickstarter/

A NEW KICKSTARTER IS LAUNCHED:

This project is to see The Land of Elpoep published. Elpoep (people spelled backward) is complete and with beta readers but money is needed after for editing, and if possible a professionally designed cover and with illustrations. The current cover was put together by my dad (whose name this project is under since I’m under 18).

Current cover

“The world is always different than it appears, Usually in more ways, than we could ever dream, or imagine, or learn about in a lifetime,” Terek

The Land of Elpoep is changing forever, and the only thing for certain is that nothing will ever be the same. Reus learns that all she had thought to be true was a lie as an old friend’s reappearance shakes her into action, realizing the fate of the world as she knows it is on her shoulders.

Now Reus and a small band of friends, old and new, must unite the people of Elpoep before all is lost. But how can the warrior Rarela and the farming Commona be united? The journey will be fraught with danger; the tension between the Rarela and Commona will only make it more challenging.

Can Reus fulfill her destiny to unite Elpoep and the people that live there? Will the trader in the castle be her undoing or will he be her ally in the time of need? Will loved ones die to leave her forever? Will her friends stay loyal, or will her plans, and the entire land of Elpoep, fall to the rising darkness?

Just Finished And Coming Soon! By Elizabeth Areson

Elpoep is in a world much like the middle ages technologically, but with people and creatures, you’re glad aren’t in our world. Elizabeth has a special wit and charm that you will love. I would tell you more but I don’t want to give away any spoilers. C. S. Areson

Where is the money going?

1. Kickstarter

2. Pay the editors (content, style, copy)

3. Pay for the rewards

4. Pay an illustrator

This is from the appendix of the book. A school assignment by Princess Reus after she has been restored, it seems, to her proper place but before her real adventure truly begins.

A History of the Land of Elpoep

By its Princess for Lady Nifsara

Long ago the land of Elpoep was inhabited only by the Rarela. Though once they had a more central government it is believed that about three thousand years ago, they split into the five tribes they are today. It is though that the different tribes were centered on different powerful families but this is unknown for certain. The five tribes are the Iya, Yhi, Eif, Deia, and Roland tribes. They each live in different parts of the land and have different lifestyles.

The Iya tribe is the smallest tribe and most known for the Suzerain. The Suzerain is rather like a king but with a different means of passing down the throne. A Suzerain comes to power in one of two ways. Either he is the son of a Suzerain and after his father’s death having proved himself in battle, or he challenged the former Suzerain to a fight to the death and won. The Suzerain can only be a member of the Iya tribe meaning when a Suzerain marries his wife undergoes a ceremony to insure in children she bears will be considered members of the Iya tribe. Also, if a challenger to the throne emerges he must be a member of the Iya tribe. Another interesting fact is if a challenger to the Suzerain defeats him the victor must take the dead Suzerain’s wife as his sister. The Iya tribe lives mainly in the south-eastern corner of Elpoep

The Yhi clan is known for their ability with ships and fishing. They are the largest of all the tribes and this gives their leader much authority. Unlike the position of the Suzerain, the position of leader of the Yhi clan passes down from father to son. The Yhi clan lives along the western coast of Elpoep were they have several villages. The largest Yhi village is called the Warf and is considered the Yhi’s stronghold. They are the tribe most like us Commona, however, they also have a barbaric enjoyment of violence.

Very little is known about the Eif tribe. They live farther north than any other people in Elpoep. The Eif tribe is a completely nomadic people, living only in temporary tent-like dwellings. They are known as hunters of many northern monstrous beasts that live only at the foot of the Nowhere Mountains. Though they keep mostly to themselves they are known to be very observant of their environment. They are usually a head taller than most Rarela and deadly with a bow.

The Deia tribe is most known for their wonderful stonework and weavings. No one has seen a member of the Deia tribe for many years and according to some sources, they have died out. Whether this is true or not no one knows but in the days, they were common to be seen, the Deia were noted to be rather pale and usually bald. They were the original architects of both the Castle and Summer Castle; thought later repairs have been made by Commona. It is believed they lived somewhere in the Endworld Mountain at the southernmost tip of Elpoep.

The Roland tribe is the most hostile to outsiders, whether Rarela or Commona. They live only on Fire Island off Elpoep’s eastern shore next to the Forge. They are very well known for their metal-working skills. Their ways are not only a tribal secret but it is said that if any Roland tells an outsider the secret he will be cursed. It is reported that the Roland are most easily identified by the many scars on their body from various accidents with molten metal.

About a thousand years ago, the first Commona came to Elpoep. It is unknown where we came from because there is no life above the Nowhere Mountains, and no inhabited islands other than Fire Island to the east. Originally there were four main Commona cities that each claimed a portion of Elpoep. The four cities, often referred to as the patriarch cities, were always having many feuds. The four patriarch cities were Minstrel, Silliam, Touyal, and Pinedom. The many feuds were hurting the Commona, and finally after almost a hundred years of the cities fighting a movement to unite the cities started.

The revolution was led by my ancestor, King Commona. His true name was Emit and we call him the Great Ancestor. He was born a slave to a Commona in Minstrel. After a dear friend of his was sold to a man in another city Emit journeyed to be reunited with her. On his adventure across Elpoep, he made a deal with the Suzerain of the Rarela. The deal was that for their support in uniting the cities of the Commona he would put in place a system that would allow the Rarela to be their own nation.

After a war, lasting for only about three months, the cities successfully signed a treaty ending the fighting. Emit had a vote of the cities for king and out of all who voted only one was against him. He became king and married Queen Saffee, the same girl he strove to be reunited with when he first started on his quest. They had three children and the reign of King Emit, often called King Commona, is widely accepted as Elpoep’s golden age.

I am a direct descendant of King Commona through his eldest son Clarigan. There have been nineteen generations of kings since King Commona and I the twentieth generation of his descendants. Apart from the mysterious disappearance of Lady Reus, third daughter to King Gorri, over fifty years ago, and the Scandal of Sir Lamberkin’s five wives the royal family has managed to live without disgrace or secrets.

With one final thought, I conclude this paper. So much happened in the early days of Elpoep that attempting to remember it all gives one a headache. Very little of interest has happened in Elpoep for almost two hundred years. I can only say I hope something interesting happens in my lifetime. It would be a shame if such a wonderful land as ours was never remembered by the bards for anything but a land with nice scenery in places.

(imagine what it will be when professionally edited)Spoiler Alert: Yes Reus will be traveling to most of these places in her travels over the entire series.

Chapter 1

The Day of Change

Reus was a slave. That was common knowledge among the people of the Rarela tribe. As she tended the fire she thought about her past. When she was a small child the suzerain of the Rarela tribe and his hunting party had found her as a small, defenseless baby that had not even learned to speak yet. The suzerain, known to all as King Volf, had compassion on her and taken her home for his wife. The only reason King Volf had known her name was because of a golden neckless and pendent with an emblem on one side and the name Reus on the other.

King Volf had a son only a year older than Reus and for a short time King Volf allowed his wife to treat Reus as the daughter she didn’t have. However, when Reus was no more than seven, King Volf’s wife died suddenly. He became a harder man after that. He decided Reus would start acting like a slave, rather than a member of their family.

King Volf’s son was named Terek, after his great-great-grandfather. Terek was not a mean boy by any standards, at least when you really got to know him. He put on a tough face to make others think he was tough, but Reus knew he would be dead in a matter of seconds if he ever got in a real fight.

Terek tried to be strong. He would run long distances to build stamina. He lifted heave objects to gain muscle strength, and he spent as much time in the sun as he could to darken his already dark skin. But it was no help. Even though he was getting stronger; for the present, he was the weakest of all the boys his age.

Reus and Terek were as good as friends as there could be. They had much in common; they both were very good at sneaking up on people. They enjoyed taking walks in the woods, and they enjoyed reading. They were social outcasts, Terek because he was weaker than the other boys and Reus due to the fact she was a slave and an outsider.

Terek and Reus also had many differences. Reus was a fantastic swimmer, while Terek could barely swim. Terek was an astounding artist, but Reus could not even draw a straight line. Reus was tall, had long blond hair, sky blue eyes, light skin and always wore the same brown dress made of spare pieces of material. Terek was also tall but had short brown hair, dark brown eyes, a light brown skin that was not nearly as dark as he wanted it to be and wore a brown tunic with gray pants underneath. The same type of clothing his father wore, the clothing of the suzerain and his family.

They had both lived in the same log house for their whole lives, or at least most of their lives. A typical log house was 12 feet long by 14 feet wide. The walls were made of vertical log posts that were about 9 foot tall. The roof was made of thatched brush intertwined with living vines to help it blend in with the forest. A log house usably had one floor and a loft. On the ground floor of a log house, there was a large fireplace, a small cooking area, and one or two bunks in the wall under the stairs. The loft of a log house was the bedroom of the person who owned the house.

However, King Volf had a special log house. His log house was 17 feet by 19 feet, and the celling was 14 feet high. King Volf’s log house also had two lofts; one for him and one for Terek. Reus had a small room on the ground floor in the back corner of the house. King Volf also had a large table for guests to eat at.

Reus was sitting next to the fire place tending both the fire and a breakfast stew. The smell tempted her to eat some but even at ten Reus knew how things worked. She made the meals, but Terek and King Volf ate first. Only after she had cleaned up after their meal could she eat. This was fine with her. Slave or not, she was happy and well looked after.

King Volf was a good master, even if he had a nasty temper. He would get angry enough to through things and hit the table or walls. Yet, even so, he never hit Reus or Terek. He was hard on both expecting them to be the best at everything simply because how they did reflected back on him. She heard starring upstairs.

“Please let it be Terek,” she thought.

On mornings were Terek woke first King Volf usually didn’t yell at him first thing after he woke up. When Volf didn’t yell at them first thing Reus and Terek had no trouble going off to do their own thing. However, when King Volf did wake first he would yell at Terek they both were given work to do for the rest of the day.

She heard soft, light footsteps and knew them to be Terek’s. She smiled, he was still trying to be quite enough to sneak up on her. Terek had always said one day he would get the best of her and finally learn to appear out of nowhere like he claimed she could.

“Good morning,” she said not turning around.

Terek sighed, “Good morning.”

She heard him pull out a chair and sit down. She heard him nosily tear a piece of bread off the loaf on the table. Carefully she took a couple of bowls and poured the stew into each one. Hanging the ladle on its hook, Reus stood up and carried the bowls to the table.

“Looks good,” said Terek putting his finger in his bowl then puling it out to lick it.

“Terek! You were not raised in a barn, don’t act like you were.”

He laughed, “You’re not my mother. In fact, I’m older.”

“Age does not guarantee intelligent,” She said crossing her arms.

They both smiled. Any other boy would never have been her friend. Any normal slave would have never dared to tease a free man or even a free boy for that matter. But they were different, they didn’t care what people thought. Volf soon came down and ate breakfast, he didn’t pay them much attention and they soon were given permission to leave.

Lord Ares was still visiting with his three sons so Reus and Terek decided to take a walk in the woods instead of getting in another fight. The sons of Lord Ares were called the Ares Brothers, and they were also so of the biggest jerks Reus had ever meat. They walked along not really caring where they ended up, just enjoying the time without other people around to bother them.

“Terek, I don’t think we should be heading this way,” Reus said to her best friend.

“Why?” asked eleven-year-old Terek turning to look at her.

“Because there is a path up ahead and it was not made by any Rarela that I’ve ever seen,” Reus told him nervously.

“Why do you say that?” questioned Terek.

“Because that path was made by wagon wheels, and last time I checked all Rarela walk everywhere,” Reus explained.

“O come on; what could it hurt to see what is up ahead?” Terek argued, crossing his arms as he always did when he was disagreeing with her.

“A lot if we are killed by some Commona,” Reus continued trying to look him in the eyes

“You worry too much! What is the worst that could happen; we find some hidden castle out here?” Terek said as he turned and walked onto the path.

Terek suddenly gasped.

“What?” asked Reus as she stepped on the path and suddenly saw what had shocked him.

Up ahead was a hidden Commona castle. It was small for a castle probably only two stories tall; it had no towers or large stone walls, only the castle. The design of the castle made it look like a manor, but the type of stone work and the bared windows made it clear that this was for royalty. The castle had a large wooden gate and lots of small windows.

“Do you see that?” Reus asked Terek with disbelief.

“Yeah, a really, big castle that’s probably filled with lots of solders ready to kill trespassers,” said Terek sarcastically. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Wait”

“Are you crazy? Why would we want to hang around this place?” Terek practically yelled.

“Look at the emblem above the door,” Reus said as if she were in a trance.

“It’s a big circle with some funny looking birds whose wings are touching.”

“Terek, look at my pendant,” Reus said referring to her necklace.

“Its’s a small circle with some funny looking birds who’s wings are touching,” after he said that it only took him a minuet for it to dawn on him. “O no. No. No. No! We are not going to knock on that door and ask them, ‘excuse me did you lose a baby in the woods about ten years ago?’ that would be asking for them to execute us for trespassing!”

“Terek…”

“Please Reus, don’t ask me to. You know I can’t tell you no,” Terek pleaded.

“Terek you know that my pendant is the only clue I have to who I am. We have got to see if they know anything about it; who knows if might be my family crest. And maybe I might have family that lives there. Wouldn’t you love to meet my family?” Reus implored Terek.

“If you have family that lives there I would like to meet them. But you probably don’t, and even if you did they wouldn’t like me,” Terek reasoned.

“Please.”

“No way in Elpoep, am I going to let you knock on the door of a castle filled with solders,” Terek declared.

“You have no proof that there are solders in there. And even if there are you will not stop me!” Reus proclaimed as she began walking toward the castle.

“Reus!!!!”

Reus looked back for a moment and said, “You can’t stop me.”

“Then I guess I’ll go with you,” Terek said walking towards her. “But it’s not my fault if we get killed.”

“Ok then. Let’s go,” Reus said joyfully.

“If you insist.”

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