#i just need to pick a night and listen to mindsets/watch the things

[seekingthestars]

gonna have to say goodbye to christmas tree jun but oh boy i don't wanna 😔💔

[samsno1]

Flowers

Castiel x GN!Reader

i love his eyes. that's it, that's the tweet. guys...this is very sweet but i don't know if i'm satisfied?? tell me what you think, writing castiel is very hard, lawd

Summary: In a hunt, a flower appears over your pillow after you come back to the motel room at night. Who left it there?

Warnings: FLUFF, TOOTH-ROTTING FLUFF, i pictured s4/5 cas in this, use of y/n, sweet confession, NOT PROOF READ, that's it? english isn't my first language

WC: 2.5k

You can learn how to change Y/N for your actual name here

enjoy!

When you started hunting with Sam and Dean one of the last things you expected to encounter was an Angel, especially after discovering they aren't “harps and halos" like in the books you read as a kid, but instead soldiers and sometimes assholes.

Castiel was an exception to the “asshole” part, he was actually very sweet when it came to you and the boys. Helped you, saved you and cared for you. In that sense, Cas was just like the Angel stories, a guardian of the humans he was in charge of.

And for you, it was fun teaching Cas about humans and how they behaved, helped him when he didn't understand Dean's pop culture references, got him to watch classic movies and listen to music and he was always very keen into doing so, curious and intrigued in what you explained to him.

Those big blue eyes always gave you his full attention, sometimes with that little frown that you started to call “The Angel Frown” while he questioned you about something that, to you, was basic knowledge. You were always as patient as possible with him, always clarifying what you could in words he could understand and that ended up always making him come to you for help.

In conclusion, you and Cas got closer and you started to catch yourself staring when he wasn't looking, admiring his smiles, drowning into his sapphire eyes and wishing that he had just more doubts about how people acted so you could spend more time with him.

You knew, from what Castiel told you, that Angels and feelings, human feelings at least, weren't compatible and that things such as love and romance weren't truly a reality for him and his siblings, they were warriors after all, created to serve their Father and that was it. 

Even when Castiel rebelled for the Winchesters, letting go of the “I don't serve men” mindset was difficult but you, Dean and Sam were there for him. You were more understandable then the brothers because you knew Cas was trying his best.

And because you fell for the Angel, but nobody needed to know that.

One night you arrived at the motel room you were staying at, after waving goodnight to Sam and Dean, them going to their separate room.

You opened the door and sighed deeply in exhaustion. It had been a long day of questioning and more questions appearing then those answered. At first you guys thought of a vengeful spirit, then cursed object, then witch. All of those possibilities were still up and it was driving you three insane. People were dying and you felt useless.

Once you closed the door and threw your stuff in the closest table you turned to your bed, where your bag was placed to get some clothes to take a well deserved shower. But, when you looked at your pillow, you noticed a single pink flower sitting over it and you furrowed your eyebrows.

You approached the flower slowly, skeptical about it, your hunter instincts telling you this wasn't good news. You slowly reached for it, as if it could bite your hand off, and picked it up. You analyzed the plant, very confused and grabbed your laptop.

You searched until you found a flower similar to the one you were holding and learned it was a Camellia. You looked between the screen and the flower and you searched up what a pink Camellia meant because, as much as you knew, flowers weren't really something you looked into.

What you found was shocking. According to the internet, a pink Camellia represents admiration and appreciation and Camellias and general represent love and affection. You widen your eyes at the flower in your hands, looking around your empty room as if someone would pop up and explain what this was doing at your bed. Wrong room?

You couldn't think of anybody that could give you this willingly. It definitely wasn't Sam or Dean because, first, they spent the whole day by your side and, second, unless they meant it platonically, the boys didn't see you like that. You loved them and they loved you, of course, but, to them, you were like a sister Dean loves you like he loves Sam, the same way Sam loves you like he loves Dean and vice-versa.

The only person that came to your mind was…No, it couldn't be, he said himself, love for him was basically unachievable but you couldn't help but wonder, even if your rational brain said it was stupid to think Cas would mean that. You smiled at the flower, that tinge of hope lightning inside you.

You looked around the room to look for something you could fill up with water and found an empty beer bottle. That'll do.

You washed the bottle to get the smell of alcohol off and filled it up with water, placing the little flower inside.

The pink color of the petals clashed with the transparent green of the bottle and you smiled at that. It looked cute in a way. You thought, even if this didn't come from someone you knew, you were keeping it, at least the flower.

You left the makeshift vase in your nightstand and took your stuff to the shower, peeling off your suit and your tie on the way, leaving it on the ground as you locked yourself inside the bathroom.

In these moments, Cas thanked his abilities of becoming unseen because you arrived just as he was leaving the Camellia over your pillow. He spent the day researching flowers, finding an interest in how humans always gave them to the people they cared about or to the ones who passed. He wanted to give you one to show you that he cared for you and also as a thank you for being patient with him for a long time.

He always felt happier around you, a warm feeling inside him always seemed to bloom. He felt the need to be close to you, like you were a human magnet. Everytime you looked at him he felt a weird feeling in his stomach, your smile was always something he felt the need to chase, he wanted to see it always in your face. He admired the way your eyes would shine when you were talking about something you liked.

When he saw you placing the flower on the nightstand with a smile he felt that weird feeling in his stomach again. He would do anything to see that look on your face again.

That hunt lasted a week, taking you three too long to figure out it was a witch and even longer to find said witch and to say you guys were fed up was an understatement. 

For that long week you dared to say you missed the Angel, you thought about calling him, praying to him, multiple times but what were you going to say when he arrived? Missed you? I just wanted to see you?

Everything you thought sounded too intimate so you discarded the idea of calling him.

But two more flowers appeared on your pillow after that pink Camellia. A Peony that you learned meant for the Chinese something along the lines of “the most beautiful” and a stunning Carnation in a light red shade that represented admiration. At this point you were very intrigued about who was the one giving you the flowers, Castiel still on your mind. You didn't want to get your hopes too high, you were probably overthinking it anyways, making your heart speak louder than your brain.

You were lying on your bed, staring at the tiny bouquet of three flowers given piece by piece to you. It was your last night in that room, Dean having insisted he needed the sleep so as to not crash the Impala from tiredness. You had offered to drive as you weren't as bad as he was but, of course, that was an immediate no from the older brother so all of you settled for one more night.

As you close your eyes and start to fall asleep, a sudden flutter of wings gets your attention. It's dark in the room so you take a peek and for sure it's Cas. You hold back a smile and close your eyes, pretending to be sleeping.

You feel the Angel approaching the bed, his presence making your heart quicken in your chest. From what it sounds like, he's just standing, watching you and you start to feel very nervous.

Castiel on the other hand arrived to see your sleeping form and couldn't help but watch. You looked peaceful, your breathing was calm and you looked…pretty. Cas thought all his father's creations were wonderful but he felt like you could top them all, literally, in your sleep.

He had another little flower in his hand which, to him, had a very self-explanatory name, a Forget-Me-Not.

He spun the blue flower on his fingers, debating if he should leave it inside the vase or besides you, over your pillow. 

He approached you and while he was placing the flower next to your head he felt a gentle hand wrap around his wrist and instantly froze on the spot.

You opened your eyes and looked at his near-horrified face. You smiled at him.

“Got you” You said, a little above a whisper and looked at the flower he was holding. That one you knew the name and what it meant and you felt warmth spreading through your cheeks, not just at that one flower, but knowing now that all those flowers you received came from Cas.

“I'm sorry for disturbing you” He said as he retreated his hand and you held the Forget-Me-Not. He was tense, not looking at you.

“So you were the secret admirer leaving me these flowers?” You asked as you slowly sat up on the bed and placed the blue flower inside the bottle with the three others. You placed both your hands over your lap, fidgeting nervously with your fingers. “Why?”

He looked around. What was he supposed to say? Himself barely knew why he was doing this but it felt right so he kept going with it. He noticed that the flower meanings resembled things that he felt or thought of you and he enjoyed collecting them for you, especially after you kept them.

“These flowers all have a meaning behind them” He started “Take them as a thank you for…being helpful with my understanding of human behaviors” 

You smiled stupidly at that. The way he said it sounded like something he had rehearsed before coming to you to say it, the words too polite. But yet, that's one of the things you liked about him.

“You didn't have to Cas…They are beautiful, thank you” You said and looked at the flowers again, biting your lip. You felt his eyes on you, it was always intimidating. You knew that it was just the way he was, look right into your eyes while you talk to show you had his full attention, his beautiful blue orbs hypnotizing.

Cas analyzed every aspect of yours as you sat in front of him, his eyes wondering over your figure and his hands moved faster than his thoughts and he reached for your shoulder, his palm traveling from your shoulder blade to the end of your upper arm and back up, tracing a pattern over your skin. He longed to touch you and be closer to you in a way he couldn’t explain so, in this moment, you both alone, he decided to fulfill this wish.

You widened your eyes and looked up at Castiel who was entranced by the movement of his hand, goosebumps flaring up on your skin.

“Cas?” You said and acknowledged your call with a hum “What are you…?”

He finally looked at you, his hand steadied on your shoulder.

“When I’m around you I always feel this need to touch you, be closer and this…” He shakes his head, finding a word to define how he felt. “Warmth comes over me everytime you smile”

His eyes bore through yours and you could only stare back at him, shocked.

“Cas, you’re saying–”

“I think I might love you, Y/N” He interrupted. The way he said it sounded like a confusion, a slight approach, as if he was tiptoeing around the thought, not sure if he wanted to grasp it or just keep his distance.

You were dumbfounded. He sounded so sincere and your heart started to beat faster, his hand over your shoulder felt like it was burning through your skin. It all made sense, the flowers, the way he was always keen on talking to you even when you did most of the talking and he just listened with a faint smile and pure interest, he just didn’t know because he never felt like this before, he didn’t know what loving was like.

You landed a hand over his cheek, your eyes practically watering with an emotional overload at his words. You thumb rubbed the light stubble on his cheek and you pulled him in for a hug. You wanted to kiss him so bad but you were on a baby steps basis with the Angel.

You hugged him tightly, his hands hesitantly wrapping around your frame as you let out a deep breath. When you pulled back, you didn’t pull away completely from him looking between his eyes and his mouth, a giddy smile on your face.

“I think I might love you too Castiel” You said and he widened his own eyes, a light chuckle coming out of you at his reaction.

Your chuckles were cut off by his lips on yours and you gasped in surprise. His mouth was as soft as you expected, his lips moving against your in perfect sync. He was impressively a good kisser, one of his hands gently holding at the back of your neck while the other slid down to your waist.

You felt like a bomb had exploded inside you, a foreign feeling of happiness spreading to every single cell on your body as your arms wrapped around his neck to hold yourself when he sat on the bed, pulling you over his lap, making you yelp.

You both pulled away, your arms still wrapped around each other and he had a light smile on his face. You one hundred per cent had a shocked look on yours, your cheeks hot and breathing heavy.

“Where’d you learn that?” You asked, absolutely knocked by the kiss.

“Dean told me a thing or two” He said and you couldn’t help but laugh, your body shaking against his as he also chuckled. “It seems like I did great?”

You stopped your laughs and looked in his eyes, drowning in their ocean blue. You gave a peck to the corner of his mouth.

“You did amazing” You said as one of your hands played with the hair at the nape of his neck and he pulled you in, the warmth spreading through both of you yet again, never wanting to let go.

A/N: Notes and reblogs encourage me to keep writing, feedback helps me make those writing better. Thank you for reading, XoXo.

[moonriselabyrinth]

My top 10 Brackwood songs & why each qualifies

War of Hearts by Ruelle: “I can’t help but love you even though I try not to” pretty much sums up the one scene we got between them, it was the tension and undertone we all picked up on. It’s what Davos was thinking as his hand turned just slightly towards Aeron’s even as he approached him heatedly.

Daylight by David Kushner: the expression of religious guilt surrounding sex/a relationship, the lines like “telling myself, I won’t go there” and “telling myself it’s the last time”, the idea that this expression of sexuality must be concealed and only allowed to live at night, I could go on forever probably.

Once More to See You by Mitski: the sweet melancholy of this song while being about loving someone dearly but being forced to keep it secret and living for seeing them just one more time fits Aeron and Davos devastatingly well.

Love and War by Fleurie: to keep it simple the line “lover, hunter, friend and enemy, you will always be every one of these” alone makes it perfect for them.

Rule #34 by Fish in a Birdcage: The elegance of this song that’s talking about kinky sex is so impressive and lovely to listen to in the first place and I think that fits Aeron and Davos very well. They want to tear each other apart in a tender sort of way. And the singer expressing possessiveness within those moments is, again, very fitting.

Six Feet Under By Billie Eilish: this song is about a love that is already doomed but having hope that with a little care and effort it would flourish even if you know deep down it can’t, you need that hope.

I Bet on Losing Dogs by Mitski: they are each others losing dogs. “Where I’ll be looking in their eyes when they’re down”, “I’m losing by their side”, “someone to watch me die”.

My Love Mine All Mine by Mitski: Davos and Aeron can’t have much of their own. They live in a time, a place, and within a system that takes everything from them as individuals. They are a Bracken and a Blackwood not Davos and Aeron. They are the sons of highborn men, they are river men, they should be knights and fighters, good at riding horses and killing and hunting, they are to marry a woman and have children and continue on their line. The only thing that truly belongs to them is personal thoughts and feelings. The only thing they can keep for themselves is loving each other.

Doomsday by Lizzy McAlpine: this one might not fit quite as well as some of the others on my list but I really like it for them all the same. I feel they could both easily come into the mindset that one of them feels more than the other because they would each always be putting up fronts and struggling not to show their true feelings so I think the lines like “you'll sit and stare like a goddamn machine” and “I'd like to plan out my part in this but you're such a narcissist” can fit pretty well. But the lines that really bring me back to this song for them are these ones: “The death of me was so quiet, no friends and family allowed, only my murderer, you and the priest who told you to go to hell” also “and the funny thing is I would've married you, if you'd have stuck around” and finally, tragically, “I feel more free than I have in years, six feet in the ground”

Somewhere Only We Know by Keane: this song is less obvious most likely but I like the idea of each of them being tired of the family obligations, the work of everyday life, the façade they have to put up about hating each other so they just daydream about being alone together somewhere know one else even knows about. Perhaps it’s where they go in their minds when life is overwhelming.

Anyway, feel free to share your own or discuss my picks in the replies 😌

[cultofdixon]

Keeping an eye on what you love

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • A peaceful moment in the prison led to feelings for a certain archer to resurface without fear of the next day. Oh how you didn’t realize until now, how observant one can be • SFW/Smol Angst • TW: Canon Violence / Minor Injuries

Requested by: @matilda4eve

You have to stop staring Y/N. It’s getting weird Y/N continued to do so as she sat at the tables in the quad watching some of the group reinforce the front fence of the prison. She had just finished her tasks for the day and took a load off, it just so happened to be at the right moment Daryl Dixon would be working outside in the remaining light hours of the day.

This has been going on for a while. Not saying many words to each other and Y/N simply watching Daryl exist doing whatsoever. It started at the quarry and now it’s happening at the prison, after all the chaos of course.

“Hey Y/N can I borrow you a sec?” Beth smiles asking for her help as Y/N nods returning the smile before getting up and following the young Greene.

Little did she know that the archer was watching the two’s interaction from where he stood with Rick and Glenn. He was lost in his own mindset and it took Glenn elbowing him to get him back.

“What’s up with you?”

“Nothin’. We’re losing light”

“You’re the one that zoned out” Rick chuckles picking up the wooden plank and holding it in place for Glenn to secure.

The night crawls in and their group hung out in their cellblock talking amongst themselves like it was old times of enjoying the others company. But also talking about the future of the prison. Y/N was part of the conversation regarding the farm with Hershel and Rick while Daryl being beside them was talking to Glenn and Sasha about setting up a run. Even if both were in different conversations, Y/N still managed to listen in while focusing on what’s being told to her.

“We should get more people to come on the run with us if we are gonna tackle something like that” said thing was the abandoned camp that the military has set up in a shopping center. Daryl brought himself to lean against the wall when he accidentally bumped shoulders with Y/N.

For some reason, he felt a spark when such happened. He gave an apoplectic look to her as she shrugged it off with a smile before turning back to Hershel to talk about the pig pen he was talking about.

“Daryl?” Sasha snaps him out of his thoughts as he turned back to those he was talking to while his mind was still elsewhere.

“Sorry”

“No worries. But I agree. We should get at least three more people to come with us? Just for now let’s stick with smaller runs that won’t take much time” Glenn states before continuing to talk about such but the words started to sound like white noise, to both of them.

Neither of them really pulled away from the smallest form of human contact. All Y/N did was readjust but kept her shoulder against Daryl’s as he sat still for a moment thinking he was making her uncomfortable, until he adjusted and kept close.

This…is new

Y/N found herself on watch in the late morning which was new given she’s usually on nights. But as she stood leaning against the railing, she saw everything happening including the archer get a team ready to go for a run. She heard times before that he never saw himself as a leader, but he’s a natural one if he ever needs to step up.

“Yo!”

The young Grimes caught Y/N off guard as she looked a bit ridiculous when turning her attention away. Like she was trying to hide something but Carl knew he was a bit unexpected.

“Sorry, Y/N. Someone just wanted me to give you this”

“Someone? Carl you know almost everybody. Who made you their messenger?” Y/N laughs a bit taking the book from him as he shrugged her off to avoid answering her question. She examined the cover reading ‘DUNE’ on it and remembering a conversation she had with Michonne about how it was one of her favorites. So maybe it was Michonne that had Carl give it to her? Who knows…

“You think…uh”

“Uh?” Y/N smiles feeling the pages and enjoying the comfort she received from just holding the book in her hands.

“Can read it to Jude. Yknow like. When I’m around” the kid can read. He just didn’t want to admit that he wants that old comfort that he got from his mom.

“I’m watching Judith tonight while your dad is on watch duty. Maybe a few chapters tonight? Not like she’d understand”

“It’s cool I can hold her and dumb it down for her” Carl smiles getting another laugh out of his family.

As the two were watched for a moment from Daryl on the ground as he sat on his bike waiting for the others to get ready in their car. The second he heard a honk that snapped him out of his thoughts he whistled for the two’s attention catching them both feeling some unexpected anxiety.

“Open the gates!” He yells for their attentions as they quickly got out of the watchtower and did what was asked.

Before Daryl got far he stopped abruptly when he heard Y/N yelling at him.

“Be safe!” Y/N yells with a smile followed as Daryl froze in his place looking back at her with a nod before returning forward and fighting back a smile following the car.

It was the little things

Either watched the other work, try to include themselves (respectfully) in conversations that held the other, exchanged passing looks, and the more Y/N’s collection of books grew she found who they were coming from as part of her wished she didn’t catch Daryl in the act because he stopped leaving books for a few days.

Then on a cold rainy night in the prison, Y/N currently had Beloved in her grasp reading with the help of the weak solar powered lantern. She looked up when the light grew bigger to see Daryl with a flashlight and entering her cell without saying a word but laying a copy of Little Women on the edge of her bed. He didn’t wait for a ‘thank you’ or anything of the sort as he left after gifting her the book. She carefully set her book open facing down onto the floor before picking up the new one to feel something loose within the pages. She pulled out a note and it wasn’t a love note or anything, just asking her to join them on the run when it’s done raining. She smiled warmly anyway…it came from him.

It didn’t stop raining until three days later and Y/N found herself waiting by the cars with her gear expecting a few others to join but when Daryl came over ready to go looking to be the only one. Which is what he wanted.

“Got everything?”

“Yeah, uh” Y/N felt a bit skittish suddenly when given a moment entirely alone with Daryl. “Is it just us?”

Little did she know she’s spending most of the day with just him. Daryl gripped the strap to his crossbow nodding, a bit nervous himself. “Is that Uhm. Alright? Cuz I can—“

“Of course!” Bit too eager Y/N. Y/N smiles feeling a bit of a blush reach her ears as she carefully brushes her hair to cover them to avoid the obvious. “S-Sorry. It’s cool…just being us”

Now Daryl was the one trying to hide his blush by fully turning around heading toward his bike.

“Oh are we uh. Am I taking a car?”

The blush faded enough for him to look at her with a bit of an annoyed look. He didn’t mean it but it was a stupid question.

“Nah we’re takin’ my bike” He states approaching his bike as Y/N quickly got up from the bench she was waiting on to join him.

It was a little awkward at first when Y/N got on the back of his bike, after putting his crossbow on her back. She was hesitant to bring her arms around him not wanting to make him uncomfortable but Daryl was gentle when he grabbed her arms wrapping them around his torso. He felt her scoot into him being pressed up against him once her arms were secured.

“Ready?”

“Yeah! Uh who’s opening—-“

“We’ve gotcha!” Glenn smiles approaching the gates after making his and Maggie’s presence known to the two. His timing was always perfect.

Then they were off…and it was stunning.

Y/N at first kept a tight grasp when he first started to drive out of the prison. Then as the scenery passed, she loosen her grasp to lean back a little to watch the trees pass by one moment then an open field with few walkers and back to trees. It repeated as such until they were soon passing the big shopping district they were planning a huge run for and then the next being a few smaller ones which where they’ll be going through. Daryl felt her tighten around him when he hit a few bumps as he gently pats her hand to reassure her that he’ll go a bit slower and will always be safe.

An hour has passed and Daryl found himself watching Y/N more than their exit as he couldn’t help but notice the smallest things she’d do.

Being extra gentle when lifting items off the floor

Carrying a smile as she looks at the few pictures from the past

The excitement that shines bright in her eyes when she’d find books or anything that brought her joy

Daryl only snapped out of it when he heard wood give way. He quickly approached the hole finding Y/N had fallen through the second floor to the first.

Shit shit shit shit Daryl quickly ran away from the opening and down to her level pushing away an aisle’s shelving to get to her faster. “You okay?! It looks safe from when we cleared down here”

As the archer knelt to her as she sat up, she gave him a reassuring smile while rubbing her arm. Y/N instantly started to frown which worried Daryl even more.

“Y/N?”

“You’re bleeding” She frowns taking his arm to show him the cut on his person. He was in a hurry to get to her that he didn’t feel it happen. “We should get back…it needs stitches”

“Oh. Nah I don’t need Hershel to—“

“I can take care of it. We just need to go back. You and I can always come back another day” Y/N reassures him that today wasn’t ruined and Daryl couldn’t help but still be focused on what happened to her that she let him check her person after she put a temporary pressure dressing with the bandana he has and once she got up.

The two were quiet for the rest of the ride, given they were both hurt and Daryl felt awful even if it was an unpredictable thing most the time. Then as they sat in her cell later that night, the awkwardness seemed to have dissipated and it was just the silence and a bit of worry…while also taking notice of the small details.

The anxious archer watched how careful she was when stitching up his arm lac. She made sure not to pull too hard and would always double check her already done stitches. Y/N noticed while she was doing the stitches that he started to bite at his thumb. She’s noticed it before during stressful situations and he was doing it now and even when she finished putting the new bandage on.

“Am I good doc?” Daryl laughs nervously as he was about to start back up the habit when Y/N took both of his hands squeezing them. “I’m still sorry about…the floor breaking” he almost whispers as he brought his hand to gently graze the instant bruise she got from the fall.

“You didn’t break it, D”

“I know, sunshine. I’m just…still sorry”

There was that spark again. Bringing back the silence and the two getting a bit more confident with the other. But before either could make a move, Sasha interrupted the two to get Y/N’s assistance with something. Daryl had pulled away from her when she had came into the entry way of her cell.

Y/N gave him a short lived apologetic look before pulling her entire self away and leaving with Sasha. Daryl frowns wishing she didn’t interrupt. When will he get a chance like that again?

Well…

Another storm came through the prison as this one was the worse so far. Heavy rains and lightening. Rick had informed everyone outside when the storm was coming based on the changes in the weather through the day to go inside and chores will be taken care of once it passes.

Daryl had done a sweep inside their cellblock making sure his family was indoors but when he came to Y/N’s cell. He didn’t find her. He quickly ran down the steps about to ask Rick if he has seen her since he was coming back in but instead…

“We don’t have people on watch for the night cuz of the storm but I don’t think Y/N heard me when she’s the last on watch”

“I’ll go get’er” Daryl states not wasting another second but he was grabbed by Rick for another minute. “Yeah?”

“Bring a jacket, man.”

The archer soon found himself running through the rain while protectively holding his poncho. He entered the watchtower back expecting to meet Y/N coming down but when she didn’t, he thought something was up.

But she was simply outside leaning against the railing and watching the rain fall.

“Hey”

Y/N’s smile instantly came out when hearing his voice as she noticed his worried expression while offering his poncho.

“Hey yourself”

“Are you doing okay?” He frowns, feeling only a tad better when she put on his poncho. “You didn’t hear Rick callin’ for those outside to come in before the storm got worse”

“I Uhm. Kinda had a lot on my mind…and didn’t wanna be suffocated” Her smile faltered and it stung in his chest watching such.

“Oh…I can leave if yea need space…just—“

“I want you here” Y/N cuts him off, not wasting another moment like before as she looked away afraid the more she said that she would choke and he’d leave.

But he gently held her chin making her look him in the eye as he brought his hand to her cheek looking her in the eye. Wanting to hear every single word that came from her.

“You want me here?” Daryl felt that spark and it turned into loving warmth when she continued to look up at him trying to find the words but keeping that beautiful smile of hers. “I ain’t good with my words either, sunshine…I…”

“I think I’m falling in love with you, Dixon”

“Good…” He exhales bringing his other hand to cup her other cheek before bringing his lips onto hers. The sudden kiss confirmed his feelings to her but she was still shocked he reciprocated said feelings.

Though when the archer parted, he gave her that loving look in his eyes that she’s been giving him since their moment started. “I’m in love with you, sunshine” and as he was about to go in for another kiss that she already started to lean in for…the flash of lightening and loud thunder that rang with it startled the two. Daryl didn’t hesitate to bring Y/N into his arms as she had already latched onto him the second she heard it.

“Maybe we should’ve confessed inside” Y/N laughs bringing her head to his chest feeling him tighten around her gently.

“Nah. This was perfect”

[hoedamn-eron]

listen okay

been thinking about Oscar's characters and what they're like as dads

Spoke very briefly with @writefightandflightclub about this, months ago (can't even find the post it was that long ago - I'll link it later if I do - FOUND IT)

Poe Dameron is a girl dad

Santiago Garcia is a girl dad (see here)

Steven Grant is a girl dad

And Marc Spector and Jake Lockley

(Jake especially)

But Nathan Bateman

Nathan Bateman oozes boy dad

Because, right:

Nathan created Ava and has the mindset that girls are scary

(And Luna pointed out that he'd be wary after that having a girl after 'the incident' and I agree)

Seems like the kind of guy to say 'first time, guaranteed' after sex, when you both agree to start trying

(he was right, it was)

(you still don't know how he did it)

Anyways, you both have a boy

He needed to find out at your anomaly scan because he hasn't been able to control one single thing during this pregnancy and he hates it

So he voted he found out the gender

Makes you put on classical music for "the foetus" (Nathan's words) because he seems like that type of guy

Not that he doubts the kid'll be a genius, but it can't hurt

When your son is here, Nathan would be a mess

It was one thing knowing you were pregnant, seeing the bump and ultrasounds and all

But now there's an actual kid

A kid that is fully reliant on him

Nathan probably wouldn't sleep for weeks

Just sit and works and watches the kid, make sure he's breathing

He'd mellow out eventually, when you'd told him he needed sleep and can't keep doing this to himself

You took over the night shift after that, mostly

He isn't the kind of dad to rough house

But one that you'll catch talking out coding issues to an infant who just stares at Nathan, just because of the sound of his voice

Your son would look nothing like you, and take everything after Nathan (he's super smug about it too - not only can he make literal lifelike robots, but he has 'superior genes' too)

Would want to call the boy something unique like Silas, or Atlas, something along those lines

You had veto'd them very quickly

But Silas grew on you, so I can imagine you agreed to a unique name

Once your son was old enough, he'd definitely teach him how to box

Since Nathan's sleep schedule is fucked (he's working on it), he's always up first with the kid

You'll always find them on the decking at the punching bag

Nathan was always guiding him, praising him when your son eventually punched the bag

You and Nathan both regularly went out on hikes (he enjoyed them more than you did) even before the kid

When the kid was born, it was easy to carry him around in a carrier on your chests

But when he got older and learned to walk, he never wanted to be carried

And the hikes took longer

So now Nathan's planned out new family friendly routes for you all, where you'll all be out for an hour, tops, and not far from the house

Nathan really hates mess, so will probably follow the kid around once he starts walking, just picking up after him

If he's stressed or hungover (he's working on that too) he would probably yell at you to sort it out

He'd apologise later after you chewed him out, even offering to do bath time and get the kid ready for bed

"I'll read him a story or some shit"

(It's probably Stephen Hawking)

He'd arrange someone to decorate the kids bedroom to look like space or something

You had a field day looking around the IKEA website and choosing what you wanted for your son's dream bedroom, but Nathan had just rolled his eyes and got the more expensive, designer, equivalent and it was delivered within a week

You'd told him off for doing it, but he just shrugged at you wordlessly as he set up the bedroom for your son

This is long enough, I'm gonna stop here, but now I want to write a full series of dad!Nathan 😭😭😭

[writingforatwistedworld]

Hi can I request self aware Idia Shroud with player who somehow got inside the game on accident and met Idia.

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, religion, kidnapping, imprisonment, stalking, murder, death, unhealthy relationship, unhealthy mindset, obsession

Entering their world

Did a dorm reopen?

Does that mean that even more students will go to this school??!

Idia was already stressed out enough before this happned

After all, he noticed a longer time window of inactivety from the Overseer

Which meant that he seriously had better things to worry about than even more noisy people who could interrupt his peace

And then there is no way to avoid going out

There had been a server crash in Night Raven College which meant no internet

Which also meant that he needed to go out

And that was when he passed it, the Ramshackle dorm

Wasn’t it supposed to be used once more? Why did it still look like it could collaps any moment?

And that is where you enter the picture

Flinging open the door you were about to step out, needing to do something outside of the huge mountians of dust

Only to see a huge pillair of fire igniting into the sky

Mhm. Ten points if you guessed that it was Idias hair

What??! The Overseer??! HERE???!!!

Believe it or not but despite him coming from a place that sees you as a God he doesn’t has it in himself to approach you

Instead he will watch you like a deer in headights as you approach

He isn’t able to say a single word in front of you

Now you either

Ask if he is ok and then leave, ending up with you two never meeting again

Ask if he is ok, stay, and then seal your fate with a future as a “special someone”

I would recommend picking the first scenario but that is up to you

But if you took the second scenario thing go ugly quickly

There is no moment Idia isn’t watching you

Walking down the street? He is listening in with the microphone in your phone

Sitting in class? A small camera is hidden, perfectly zooming in on your face

Banging against the door of the room in which he loocked you for all eternity in? Oh… I didn’t mean to tell you that

But at least life is good in that room… if you have no problem seeing any other haircolour than your own and fire ever again and to talk as good as never

That doesn’t mean Idia isn’t affected by you being looked in there

He has that protection mechanism when it comes to you in which he realises that he literally kidnapped you and then tells himself that this isn’t what it seems like, it’s just you staying over for a longer while

And how could he ever let his God stay in that ruin??!

Though, if you are worried that he might becomes creepy with his devotion to you and saying that you are a God then be reassured

Like the greeks did his people see human flaw within you so of course it would be awkward if he just fell to his knees in front of you (even though he wants to)

However, there are sometimes moments in which something burried deep inside of his soul surfaces, him gripping your arm to tight, how he stares at you sometimes and worst of all, him showing that he had been watching all along when he tells you moments you experienced when no one was around

Otherwise he is really sweet

If we ignore the corpses found in a river leading to the sea. They look oddly burned

But what is he supposed to do? Ignore the sinners? Good joke but no

[electricbathsalt]

Rjdjdndjfdn so you've found my sideblog I see, rjdifnd TY

But yeah, I only just got back into my hero after having a severe interest shift and I'm rewatching the eps, I think the anime played it so Kai looked like the one escalating everything though he had a good point I agree I dont think you were dunking on the league they do a lot of things deserving of criticism and we all know Shiggy didnt start being the beat leader until he had some skills under his belt of we literally need to care about our alleys, in the scene where Kurogiri was talking to him about of he cared if any of the guys he made go to the training camp died or not Shiggy said he does care not only because what they can do but in the long run I dont remember what he said word for word but he made it clear he cares about them and what they think/want and I guess he felt like Overhaul was insulting that but he didn't jump to attack Overhaul it was his guys flying off the handle, and he even told them to stop after Magne he told Compress no dont attack and only Toga and Twice listened because they had to get Compress to a hospital after that Kai said "I didnt mean to want to k!ll Magne, let's take a break and both calm down, because murder isn't productive. I owe your side an arm" that's almost word for word what he said in the dub, I dont think he intended to come there to hurt anybody he wanted to talk business

AND THIS IS COMING FROM SOMEONE WHO BARELY REMEMBERS ANYTHING AND WATCHED HALF A SCENE LAST NIGHT I fully agree with you that he did not start this/ intend for this to happen like this.

Yeah!! I know I didn’t really mention it, but Shigaraki wasn’t exactly the one lunging for Chisaki’s throat, either. I kinda think the main reason he attacked Chisaki at all is bc he saw how much damage he was doing so easily and like. Panicked/wanted to intervene. He wasn’t the one that talked smack either, so.

It’s clear that Shigaraki has never thought of the LOV as just pawns, unlike Chisaki (although, if I wanted to really deep-dive and reach, I could talk all about how I think Chisaki views himself as, like, somehow more unforgiving/monstrous than he actually is. Or maybe like, perpetuates himself as more unforgiving/monstrous than he is?? Both? Both. Idk), and that definitely rubbed salt in the wound, since Overhaul’s way of speech and behavior definitely signals that he does not view others as… I’m gonna say equals, even though that’s not exactly what I mean (I think how he perceives humans/humanity as a whole is very complex/complicated at like, literally every turn, but that’s not really relevant rn lol). I kinda think Chisaki doesn’t really care about what/who his subordinates are as long as they’re not interfering with his plans, whereas Shigaraki wants his band of misfits to achieve their own goals/dreams alongside him. Different mindsets, same outer result.

Buuut, I think the main thing I want to talk about is how I think the whole meeting would’ve gone a lot smoother if it’d been just Shigaraki & Chisaki meeting instead of Chisaki meeting the (almost) whole League. Like stated before, Shigaraki did attempt to shut down Compress before he attacked Chisaki, and before Magne attacked Chisaki, Shigaraki had told Chisaki to just get out, so I definitely don’t think he had any intentions to pick a physical fight.

Then, later, during the second meeting where Shigaraki went to the Hassaikai, Chisaki similarly shut down Mimic and Kurono when they started going off on Shigaraki, and said that they should at least hear Shigaraki out, as well as kept a relatively cool head despite Shigaraki’s (intentionally) abrasive behavior. So basicalllyyy… I think they might’ve actually been able to work out a genuine, actual agreement, had it just been the two of them from the get-go. Not saying that it’d be guaranteed, but there’d be a chance, I think. There’d have been no blood spilled, I’m pretty sure.

But yes. I don’t think Chisaki wanted to fight them. He was just prepared in the case that they attacked. Which… they did, so. Think he’s used to ruffling feathers, regardless of how much he intends to.

[averagewriter777]

Ghost and Doc (Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader)

Masterlist

The REAL Part Twenty-Five

Did anyone enjoy that rickroll? I did. You might need it for this. TW: Death

You were alone in the room again, but were aware of where the others were. They were right outside the door, listening in closely. You could see the shadows of their feet… That didn’t matter right now, though.

“This is (Y/n) (L/n), what happened to Kennedy? What’s going on?”

You heard quite a few deep inhales and it made you fear the worst. Your heart was already thudding against your chest, loud enough that it echoed through your body. “We… We regret to inform you that Kennedy flat-lined ten minutes ago. We were unable to save her from the state she was in.”

The world stopped and your heart dropped. “...W-What?” Your breathing became ragged, too quick to keep up with. There wasn’t any room to find a medium to calm you down, all you could do was let it happen.

“Your daughter passed, Ms. (L/n). We’re very sorry for your loss.” The woman said a few other things, but you couldn’t catch what she was saying. A high-pitched sound filled your ears, drowning anything else out. “Ms. (L/n)?”

The phone dropped from your shaking hands as your hands went to cover your eyes again. Wrecked sobs filled the room as you let it out, shaking and sobbing everything you could muster. You were just there- you were just there. So many things flashed through your mind: your daughter’s first steps, her first word being: fuck! and the day you sent her off to daycare before your deployment… and of course, the last goodbye.

Your sobbing didn’t come close to a stop when you felt someone’s hands go on both your shoulders. You didn’t know who it was, but you threw your arms around them and started to sob even harder than before, if that was possible.

“S-She’s dead. My daughter is fucking dead.” There were several intakes of breaths, a big one coming from whoever you’d thrown your arms around. “K-Kennedy… I’m so sorry…”

Ghost, who’d been the one that was kneeling in front of you, pulled your body off of him. He let out a quiet sigh through his mask, then wiped the tears from your eyes with his thumbs. “C’mon, let’s get you off the floor.” The rest of the team watched in surprise and sadness as Ghost- or Simon, at the moment, carried you to your bed and tucked you into the side you laid on the night before.

You grabbed his arm when he tried to leave, still heavily crying, but managed to get out: “P-Please don’t… Please d-don’t leave me right now.”

Too much… Ghost looked at Soap, desperately, and motioned for the man to come over. Soap dropped his head and walked over, climbing into the bed and taking your body so that he was almost spooning you. “‘S alright, lass. Let it all out, we’re here for you.”

Ghost motioned for the rest of the team to exit the room, as he followed them out, a small pit of regret filled his stomach. Shut the fuck up, Simon. He walked down the stairs with Alejandro and Gaz behind him, pulling out his phone on the way. “I’ll call Price. She won’t be coming back with us if there’s a change with the Hawk.”

-

Price picked up pretty quick. The man sounded exhausted and yawned through his “What’s up, Ghost? Is everything alright there in the land of the free?”

Ghost had stepped outside to put the phone on speaker. “Not… No, sir. Doc just got a phone call from the hospital, her daughter passed shortly after the visit they had.” He set the phone on the wood table on the porch so he could take out a cigarette. “Soap’s with her… she didn’t want to be left alone…”

There was a sharp inhale from Price. “Fuck, that’s not good… my condolences to when she’s able to…” Price exhaled. “She’ll stay in America for the time being. Medical Sergeant (L/n) won’t be in the right mindset to return back to work. However, in terms of not wanting to be left alone, have you seen or heard of anyone she knows that could be with her?”

Ghost sighed. “Her neighbors are good people, sir. They’ll probably want to check up and be with her at this time, they seem to have a connection with Kennedy (L/n) as well.” He looked at a photo that was on the wall of someone, a man in a similar military uniform to you- just with the British flag instead of an American- standing next to you, an arm on your shoulder as you were much shorter than him. “Do you have contact with Sergeant Gary Sanderson?”

A/N: How about THAT plot twist? I’m full of them.

Part Twenty-Six

Taglist: @redpool, @calicokitkat, @abbiesxox, @1234ilikecowsthanyoumore, @tescomealdeals-blog, @judachoo, @cabreezer0117, @reiya-djarin, @cutiecusp, @m0chac0ffee, @cassie-vizsla, @seasaltt99, @lazy-kari202, @comedinewithmeyeah, @somnibats, @badpvn, @peachy-is-obsessed, @bookoffracturedghosts, @dorck26, @adeptusnunya, @wonusbitch, @m00vp, @user1727381919

[pick-me-up-im-scared]

Get To Know Me(-ish)

I was thinking I could answer some typical “get to know me” questions, if anyone’s interested in reading them. If not, I’ve just done it for myself, I guess. Anyway, I’ve found these on Google. Let me know if there’s someone to credit! (prepare for me babbling on about completely useless stuff)

What's your name? Julianna (but I´m open for any nicknames, especially "my little ps5 cooling fan")

How old are you? I turned 23 this year. Yep, I´m having an internal crisis

What's your sexuality? I will say bisexual for now. But there´s a VERY high chance I'll change it to 100% lesbian. Like, right know girls are the only thing that interests me.

What I love the most about myself? I´m very kind and loyal. It could be seen as something bad, ik. But I´m trying to not let people use it against me. I also believe I'm a good listener, which is somethings I'm proud about. I'd also like to think I could make a boring task funny, like grocery shopping or doing the dishes.

What I dislike the most about myself? I have a pretty bad temper, I blame it on my dad. If I'm pissed, don´t even bother trying to calm me down. Just give me a few minutes to myself and I'll be back. But that leads me into the next thing I hate about myself, I hold onto things for waaaay to long. If someone did something bad 5 years ago you better believe I still think about it. I´m also stubborn and think about other people´s opinion SOMETIMES, but let's not focus on that. I like to believe I just need to find "the right person" to pull me out of that mindset...

What are your favorite movies? This is suuuuuch a hard fucking hard questions for someone who enjoys movies like I do. And I’m not saying it in a “I like to watch movies like every other fucking person on this planet”, I mean I’m like sooo invested you wouldn’t even want to go see a movie with me. There’s no such thing as talking while the movie is playing. I even pay attention to the small things the actors do to make their role more “truthful”………yeah, I’m a maniac.

Anyways, I won’t even try to list all the movies I like or else we’d be here for YEARS! But two movies I can rewatch the second the credits starts to roll is either Once Upon A Time In Hollywood or The Dark Knight. But I also enjoy kids movies a little than I should…….but that’s a whole other story.

What's your favorite song? If the previous question was hard, then this is on fucking Viagra. I listen to sooo much music with such a variety. Like I listen to every genre there is! But I’ll give you three songs I haven’t grown tired of yet, even though I have them on repeat 24/7:

José Feliciano - California Dreaming

The Strokes - Repitila

Justin Bieber - Hard To Face Reality

What are your hobbies? I´m trying to make myself busy with literally anything. I can't stand the thought of not being productive (doesn't stop me from laying in bed, watching youtube for hours!). So basically anything productive. Drawing, some sculpturing (nothing professional, calm down), very rarely write (obviously, I haven´t been updating this blog for like ages!). Recently I've been trying to learn how to play the piano AND electric guitar (ik, you can give me your number after the show).

Do you plan your outfits? Yeah, way more than I think anyone who sees me thinks. Idk how many nights I've spent, planning out in my head the outfit for the next day. Even if you see me wearing sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt you better believe that t-shirt wasn't the first one I tried on. Even if I´m going to the fucking hospital I can´t wear socks that doesn't match with the rest of the outfit...

The meaning behind my username? Tbh, I just started thinking of random stuff, like "sayings" that doesn't sound too...cringe? Then the Patrick meme of him in a knitted sweater with the writing "Mom, can you pick me up? I´m scared" (or something like that) popped into my head. I rephrased it a little before checked if it was taken, and it wasn't.

Any addition? Vanilla Coke or/and Dr Pepper (apart from my huge cocaine addiction), like I´m obsessed. Ik it sounds sooo dramatic, but if I had a no limit access to either of those sodas I'd die of diabetes in a week. If you want to get in my pants, just buy me a can and I'll get on my knees and propose to you.

Turn ons? I could say something like "eyes" and "hands", but I'll say some features I don´t think are AS common, but I go craaazy for. One of them would be scars. I can't explain to you how fucking kneebendingly HOT I think scars are. Idc if it's from acne, self harm or an actual injury. It's. So. Fucking. Attractive! People who's self contious about their scars, hit me up!

Second thing I find really attractive is backs, idk why but I just find them so ecstatically pleasing especially filled with scratches of my nails.

Turn offs? People who's playing hard to get or think they're hot shit! I've spend too much of my teenage years chasing those type of assholes. And people who think people like that, wtf is wrong with you? I'd have a nerdy sweetheart everyday of the week! These fuckboy-type of behavior needs to be stopped, istg. If you like me, tell me that! (also, I need that clarification every now and then, otherwise I'll think you despise me...)

What skill would you most like to learn? To be able to comprehend any social situations without wanting to blow my brains out. I´m the worse when it comes to socializing, like overall. Doesn't matter if it's my relatives or complete strangers, I'll dig my nails so hard into palms inside my pockets. People who can start having a random discussion with someone on the streets, or blend in with their partner´s family first time they meet them PURLEY amaze me. I wanna be like them sooo bad.

Favorite ice cream flavor? I will say just plain vanilla, CAUSE if a brand is good the flavoring doesn't need to be so complicated (to slap). The brands who has these crazy flavor combinations are usually doing it to try and conceal their shitty ice cream *cough* Ben & Jerry *cough*. But if I wouldn't choose that I'd probably be something super childish, like "rainbow bubblegum cotton candy confetti".

Dogs or cats? I know the lesbian community will throw me out, but I 100% choose dogs. Idc what you say, cats are satans creation!

Favorite quote? "When you're having a bad day, don´t forget you're ugly too"

Favorite sport? I´m not really into sports. I was never an athletic kid. But whenever there´s pingpong on tv, I'm in a trance. Like I'll spend HOURS watching that shit without even knowing the rules.

[demenior]

18 and 22 for the ask game! <3

18. if you associate music, media, or poems with your fics, pick one and tell us about that association and why it inspired you.

I have mood/mindset playlists for basically all of my fics and most of them are named after a song that helps inspire either my headspace to write said story, or it reminds me of said character.

For the most recent story, the Fealty series:

When You Were Young by The Killers - this pretty heavy-handedly informed how I approached Eadwulf's opinion of Fjord. ("you sit there in your heartache /waiting on some beautiful boy to / save you from your old ways")

These Things by She Wants Revenge help get me out of sad mopey Eadwulf headspace and into dangerous deadly scourger headspace. Same for Red Flags and Long Nights by the same band but that ones just the vibe. ("she says i'm a bad man / she's locking me out // i'm not a bad man / i'm just overwhelmed")

Starlight by Muse - lowkey I consider this to be THE theme song of Fealty

Falling Away With You by Muse - while she hasn't made an appearance yet, this is my song for Astrid and Eadwulf and when I need to write about how he feels about her, I listen to this. ("watching our fantasies decay / nothing will ever stay the same / all of the love we threw away / and all of the hopes we cherished fade / making the same mistakes again")

22. do you have a fic that has some deep lore you never explained?

we'll see if this reaches it's intended audiences cause I don't think I'll ever finish the series at this point:

in the Switch the Beat series it was starting to be hinted at, but Haggar is not Galra, nor was she Altean (she's older)...

...and she's Allura's mother (Cenura, last seen in Castle of Glass chapters 1 and 5) and faked her death to start the Galra-Altean war. At this point in Switch she knows there's a woman claiming to be Allura but that can't be possible because Haggar believes Alfor killed their daughter before Haggar could reclaim her (this was when Allura and Coran were sealed away to save them). Allura is under the impression that Zarkon killed her mother. Which is... true depending on how you look at it.

[calorieroulette]

personal update • 8/25/24

haven't been active here in FOREVER. need to lock in fr bc i'm starting ballet again in a few weeks. i took a 2yr hiatus bc i ran away from home (now i'm back, long story but all is well) & i'm sooo scared. i'm not in terrible shape but even a single run thru of pliés make my hips hurt for a full day after so ik i'm gonna be SORE. not ideal bc i also just landed a very physical job & will probably be starting them around the same time.

not the worst combo tho bc i'm gonna be burning hella cals. i alr walk 3+ miles at least 4 days per week & do pilates when i remember, so if i keep that up in addition to the job & ballet, i'm DEFINITELY hitting my gw this year. maybe even by halloween, which was the plan anyways but i've been fat all month.

currently i'm sitting justtt at/below the cutoff for being medically underweight. as of today, i'm starting the ABC diet. if i complete all 50 days, that leaves me another few weeks of unstructured calorie schedule. i'll probably pick out some short diets to fill the empty days & fast the last few days before halloween. from there, if i hit my gw, i'll slowly increase my intake to maintenance.

i have the WORST fucking memory but if i remember/don't fail, i'll post weekly updates abt the diet. i plan to weigh in every monday, so i'll get my "starting weight" tmr. every monday after that i'll post the weekly update with how much i lost that week / how the diet went / etc. since i'm going to be working & doing ballet, i have some extra rules in place to accommodate my needs.

supplements (gummy vitamins) & non-protein liquids (i.e. energy drinks, kombucha, etc) will be logged in the LOSEIT! app under a separate category from solids, & liquids such as yogurt & protein shakes. they do count, but if i'm over the day's limit bc of them, i won't consider it "over the limit." i'm mainly concerned with staying under the limit with my OMAD. i won't let 60 extra cals from my gummy vitamins & a monster or two freak me out!!

net cals are an option, but only twice per week. it shouldn't become something to rely on. the point of low res is the fast weight loss, which will go faster if i'm constantly burning a lot from work & ballet. if i eat more too, i lose the benefits.

2L+ water daily ofc

in order to prevent relapsing into bad cycles (overeating/binging, purging) & stay locked into my restrictive tendencies, i need to consume ed media beyond socials at least once per day. watch diet vlogs & beauty standard breakdown videos on youtube when i choose to watch it. listen to music that makes me want to starve. reread wintergirls for the 34th time or something. just KEEP IT CENTERED.

if i feel like giving up, think of how badly i want my rewards for hitting goal weights (tattoos, colored contacts, various swag i've been craving since i could comprehend fashion)

ofc, for now, i'm just focusing on eating as little as possible & getting used to the hunger again. i have orientation for my job this week but i'm not on the schedule yet. hoping they start me next week or the week after, just so i can get a little more into the groove with my eating patterns. my biggest issue is late-night binges. i just get so fucking hungry & forget why it matters. i'm done. no more.

things to remember when i'm tempted:

sugar & junk are like cigarettes; if you don't consume them, you don't crave them.

the first few days are the hardest. the habits will be back by week 3. my lw era mindset is closer than i think, i just have to keep pushing.

the classic "hungry to bed, hungry to rise" is oddly comforting on nights where my stomach's rumbles keep me awake.

if i can eat past the point of fullness, i can starve past the point of hunger. all hunger is temporary except my hunger to be thin. that is the only hunger that needs to be satisfied.

and ofc, here's a list of distractions i can run to in case motivation & discipline fail & i just need something to stop me from giving in:

play DTI or backrooms on roblox

read

organize pinterest boards

journal

draw / paint

watch youtube / a show / a movie

go for a walk

do one of my youtube workout playlists

clean / do laundry + dishes / vacuum

take a bath

there's def more, i'll come back & add to this post when i think of things so i always have a list to check when i need to lock in.

that's pretty much it.

[e-devotion]

song on my mind

Sunday I woke up with a song on my mind.  This happens a lot.  Some times it goes away quickly.  Other times it hangs on for a while.  This one hung on to my mind and maybe my heart.

What keep me going to the song are a couple strong lines that speak volumes to me and about our God.  It talks of how God has power over our lives, and we need to trust Him, listen to Him and do what He says.  The lines from the song:

Get up out of that grave …

If He did it for me, He can do it for you …

Too often we head toward the grave and stay there.  It might not be a real grave in the ground.  Maybe it is a choice or lifestyle that keeps us from knowing God and His best for us.  Maybe it is a mindset that needs to be adjusted or changed.  The grave can be many things.

And what He did you for you speaks to your testimony or the testimony of someone who has met and experienced God.  Share it.  He will do the same for others.  Trust God to work.

Here are some of the lyrics from the song I Thank God by Maverick City Music:

Wandering into the night

Wanting a place to hide

This weary soul, this bag of bones

And I tried with all my mind

And I just can't win the fight

I'm slowly drifting, oh vagabond

And just when I ran out of road

I met a man I didn't know

And he told me

That I was not alone

He picked me up

He turned me around

He placed my feet on solid ground

I thank the Master

I thank the Savior

Because He healed my heart

He changed my name

Forever free, I'm not the same

I thank the Master

I thank the Savior

I thank God

I cannot deny what I see

Got no choice but to believe

My doubts are burning

Like ashes in the wind

So, so long to my old friends

Burden and bitter night …

Oh, I thank God

Oh, I thank God

Oh, I thank God

Hell lost another one

I am free, I am free, I am free …

Get up, get up, get up

Get up out of that grave …

If He did it for me, He can do it for you

If He did it for me, He can do it for you

If He did it for me, He can do it for you

The testimony of Jesus

Is the Spirit of Prophesy

That means what He did for another

He can do it again …

Watch the song at this link https://youtu.be/LM1qrx0Huds?si=owb8fG7tiCFy2DDe

May God remind us of what He has done, who He is and how He wants to work in our lives.  This is good!

[oraclekleo]

Hi Kleo I hope you are doing great. I wanted to request the relationship role reading if it's possible.

Here is the birth chart. Thank you in advance 😁

Hello!

I'm so sorry it took so long but here I am with your Relationship Role reading!

Relationship Role Tarot Reading

Friend - XI Justice, 10 of Cups

You really treat your friends like family. Maybe you even consider them to be your tribe, your community, the family you choose for yourself. You might not be a family by blood but you surely consider your friends vital for your life. They keep you in check with reality, they help you balance your life and when you get lost daydreaming they pull you back or join you on a colourful journey through fantasy, whatever is best at the moment. You are likely to treat your friends as equals, not only to you but also avoiding picking a bias amongst them. You love them all, there’s no need to pick favourites. On the other hand, you don’t take any betrayal lightly. You’re not likely to make excuses for someone who doesn’t deserve your affection and you have no problem saying goodbye to them and cutting them off from your life.

Girlfriend / Boyfriend - 5 of Cups, King of Cups

When it comes to dating, it seems like you had some bad experience and you’re not completely healed just yet. You are on your way there, you are tapping into your emotions and you are in control of them but you might have trust issues when it comes to romantic relationships. You need to let go of the past, stop approaching new relationships with the negative mindset when you think that if that person in the past disappointed you, it’s likely to happen again. Let that boat sail away already and recognize the blessings that are just behind you. Your heart might be tender but it’s capable of healing and rejuvenation.

Lover - 10 of Swords, Page of Wands

These are such contradictory cards. It feels like you have been hurt in the past and now you are trying to heal through daydreaming and fantasy. Maybe you had a bad experience but now you are ready to learn about more opportunities. I see a massive curiosity in your cards so I think that you might be exploring your intimacy and sexuality but more in a safe passive kind of way when you read, watch, listen, acquire information and get inspired. Maybe you like spicy fanfics or things like that where you can find inspiration for your next relationship when it becomes physical. You might feel excited and this explorative process is helping you to heal any insecurities you might have.

Wife / Husband / Spouse - XXI The World, VII The Chariot

Looks like marriage is one of your life goals here or maybe you never considered it your goal but you steadily move towards it. I don’t know whether you are married already or not but it looks like this institution would give you a great sense of accomplishment. You might feel more in charge, more confident in a marriage as it’s both an ever changing and yet fixed kind of structure which allows you to always go for adventures but feel safe at the same time. 

One-Night-Stand - 3 of Wands, Queen of Cups

You might actually be more open to one-night-stands than you would think. It’s not like you would seek them but you might feel excited about trying such a type of short-term relationship. You have an open mind about it and you understand while it might be beneficial for you at certain stages of your life. It might feel adventurous but you are reasonable and cautious about it at the same time, always making sure to protect yourself both physically and emotionally. It might be a once in a lifetime thing for you but you might want to try.

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[invcntions]

(whispers) the ship meme for any of ours ... whoever you're feeling 👀

you say this to me as if i'm not always feeling all of them... have it under the read more because i got carried away. ( and would literally have done all of them if it wasn't going to take so long ily).

nate/max

Who’s the cuddler? honestly they both are i mean who saw this coming from two angry boys, but i actually think just based off our current thread that the one who initiates it slightly more is max? but let's be honest they’d be holding on to each other always if they could. 

Who makes the bed? definitely max, sorry nate is too lazy and it just doesn’t cross his mind, he’d much rather focus on breakfast and coffee. 

Who wakes up first? again probably max, he's busier during the day while nate is normally coming in at some late hour from a shift and climbing into bed next to him then sleeping in the following morning.

Who has the weird taste in music? nate. it’s not especially weird i think he just likes really old music in general and has zero idea about what’s popular or even currently out.

Who is more protective? oh they both are! hands down, if you pick a fight with either of them then you’re getting both of them, neither is standing for anything happening to the other.

Who sings in the shower? i want to say max just because it’s his shower and he’s more comfortable there (though let’s be honest nate considered it his home about 10 minutes after temporarily moving in) but i just love the idea that he does and nate would find it the most endearing thing he’s ever heard in his live. 

Who cries during movies? honestly it’s probably nate, i don’t think he used to watch a lot of movies before moving in with max and he definitely just silently cries during the classic heartbreaking ones and pretends he isn’t.

Who spends the most while out shopping? max because he’s more used to it? nate is still in his can i make this pizza last for three meals mindset and while i feel like max does try to get him out of that in general it’s still him who’s a little more comfortable with spending. 

Who kisses more roughly? i feel like nate, he can’t help it he’s got a lot of feelings to channel into the kissing okay. 

Who is more dominant? it depends on the day with these two like? i feel they both have their times and moods when they’re more dominant and times when they left the other take the lead a little more. 

My rating of the ship from 1-10. limitless. i'll love them till my death. 

finn/jesse

Who’s the cuddler? one day i will answer one of these as not, they both are, but it’s not for these two because they clearly both are from NIGHT ONE. 

Who makes the bed? finn. even if jesse is still in it. he can’t help it honestly it’s just part of what he does in the morning and having an incredibly cute boyfriend will not stop that.

Who wakes up first? again most likely finn, he’s up obnoxiously early probably to do something productive like go for a run but he’d absolutely come home and wake jesse up with coffee and kissing his forehead. 

Who has the weird taste in music? jesse because finn has no taste in music. he just listens to whatever jesse tells him to and nods along like he’s enjoying it. 

Who is more protective? i feel like it comes naturally to finn to be super protective so by instinct it’s him but at the same time i could also see jesse being so if he needed to be because they just care so much about each other. 

Who sings in the shower? i hope jesse and i hope he does it while they’re away on their little break and finn can just think it’s the cutest thing in the entire world. 

Who cries during movies? i want to say jesse just because he’s an angel and seems empathetic so i feel like is more likely to let himself feel things in the movies whereas finn is actually pretty intense on the was raised not to cry side of things. 

Who spends the most while out shopping? probably finn, he gets distracted by coffee shops, books and anything study related so can’t help it. plus i just feel he likes buying things for jesse as well so it just accidentally happens. 

Who kisses more roughly? they are soft kissers okay, just soft boys in general, though obviously when things get going i feel like both of them a little bit. 

Who is more dominant? finn lol. my secretly dominant baby. 

My rating of the ship from 1-10. 10000x the softest boys how can it not be

jackson/dominic (yes i am going there)

Who’s the cuddler? i want to say jackson? because as we’ve established it’s sort of his way of showing how he feels, especially with dom (because he’s not massively a cuddler with anyone else). and while i think sober he’s never been super cuddly with him so far he's for sure more so when they’ve gone out drinking and crashed in the same bed after it. like drunk college!jackson in particular would have been so soft with him. 

Who makes the bed? dominic. jackson is too messy while dominic actually has a general sense of having his life together and taking on adult tasks. 

Who wakes up first? again dom, i don’t know i just feel like he has actual responsibilities to take care of and things to go and do, while jackson is always willing to go back to sleep so not to have to face the day yet. 

Who has the weird taste in music? JACKSON. his taste in music is horrific i feel like dom let him have the aux cord once and just never again. very intense. far too much bass for a nice drive to the shops. 

Who is more protective? historically jackson, like please he’s been protective of dom from day one and would still do absolutely anything for him. though i do think the scales have evened the older they’ve got and like there’s no way dominic’s letting anyone say anything about jackson either, especially when i do think on occasion jackson has had a short fuse in situations that he probably shouldn’t have and needed the backup. 

Who sings in the shower? hot take, they both do. like they bonded over the fact they like animals, of course they both sing in the shower. 

Who cries during movies? neither do noticeably, they both just sit there in silence and pretend they’re not doing their best not to as the emotional stuff goes down. honestly if it’s too sad and he might cry jackson will leave the room. 

Who spends the most while out shopping? dominic? he’s shopping for a family of two so...  no but in seriousness i don’t feel like either are particularly out of control with money, they just buy what they need.

Who kisses more roughly? jackson only because he’s got a decades worth of built up feelings to put behind it and i feel like if when they do kiss it’s going to be either the most intense thing ever or the softest thing ever. 

Who is more dominant? i have gone back and forth on this a hundred times and i dO NOT KNOW. my gut says jackson but i also think dominic could be a surprise victor...  let me know if you do know. 

My rating of the ship from 1-10. 0/10. they’re going to fully break my heart. i hate them.

[ivesambrose]

⋆ 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡 ⋆

1. 2. 3.

Take a deep breath and pick a gif 💚

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at jovescorpioreadings@gmail.com with your name and query 🌙

Gif 1

It may feel like an overwhelming emotion of sadness is trying to get a hold of you and make you sink with it. I see some of you possibly crying at night then getting back to work in the morning. Start of the month you may not be able to see the silver lining of joy and fulfillment and things actually working out for you behind the scenes. But just because you can't see it doesn't mean that don't exist. You'll take the heaviness of this emotion or loss and build yourself up. Strong and sturdy, quite proud of what you could become. You may have a moment where you feel like you should have listened to someone in the past you may have had a falling out with and you likely would want to make amends with them if not this could just be you realizing you should listen to your hunches and forgive your past self and move forward a better individual. The coming new moon also brings about a promising creative energy for you, inspiration from dreams etc. This month, watch your best self unfold. Also, let the romance your heart's been craving deep down but you're denying, in.

Gif 2

Honestly though, congratulations! You're on your way to make big money. Its something you really like to do since your childhood. There's steady growth. Stop dropping things just because they take time. The slightest effort and time you put towards this will bring you bank in taurus season and even more returns in the coming 6 months. There will be choices and opportunities in front of you that might feel like a fork in the road. I see that you're afraid to dream big even though you cannot help but do so since your innate desire. You fear it's too intimidating almost. Behind that fear is a blessing. The fear is just a ruse. It seems you've figured out your passion and I'll confirm it for you, its your dedication towards a version of you that you've always pictured being. A lot of you I see working hard perhaps towards a body goal too or maybe a project you're putting together, remember to balance out all that fire in you with some earth. Take some time to simply be, take a walk, let your bare feet touch the ground.

Gif 3

A message you had been praying for, new found hope, travel, a sense of wonder, awe...

You want to dream, you want to create, you want to use art as a means of escape, means of expression, means of strength. There's romance, yes. Maybe even choices too. There's a desire to reconnect with your spiritual side too. Intuition is indeed running high but I see you being calm through it all. You've realized that in your stillness lies your strength and you want to gatekeep this new found power/gift/mindset of yours. Suddenly you feel a long drawn out cycle closing. It's like you no longer care for the thoughts that have been plaguing you for the longest time. You look to the moon and its reflection in the water and feel, "you know what, I have all my answers. I know which way to go. I don't need to keep asking for directions. I don't have to hammer a nail in to make something happen, it's already happening as it should be." take this month to pick up something you've always wanted to do and continue to be in flow with it.

[vendettaparker]

Peanut Butter and Extra Jelly [T.H]

Summary: Tom’s long time crush on you becomes painful when you and Harrison are cast as love interests in a movie. 

Paring: Tom Holland x Actress!Reader 

Word Count: 5.8k

Warning: Suggestive themes, fake smut (very light), jealousy, probably some typos, swearing 

a/n: i have no idea how filming a movie, or auditioning for one actually goes so don’t crucify me for this. i’m pretty happy with how this turned out, especially considering that this is the most i’ve ever written for a fic. also, Burt Kreisher is one of my fav comedians in real life, he has 3 shows on neflix and a mini series.  

                      ➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

     Tom was not a jealous person. At least, that's what he always told himself. He prided himself in thinking he was a very level headed individual who didn’t let his emotions get the best of him. That worked best for his job anyways; always being able to control his emotions and not get in his own head. That simple, pacifistic mindset seemed to change when it came to you. 

      You were one of the many actors Tom got the pleasure to help hone their technique and work closely with. You were new to the lifestyle of Hollywood and the only roles you had before were in small indie films that never garnered too much attention. The first major role that you landed, which also happened to help kickstart your career, was in the MCU. You played the secondary villain in the third Spider-man movie. 

     Meeting the cast was a dream come true; they were all extremely helpful and they provided tons of tips and tricks in navigating the hectic schedule required for such a huge production. By the time filming wrapped up, you were considered part of their little Spider-man family. 

     Tom was easily the most helpful. Whenever he saw you struggling with anything, he offered to help. You two spent hours upon hours together in his trailer, ordering take out and practicing lines. Some nights you two planned to work through your script, but inevitably ended up falling asleep binge watching The Office, and laughing about crazy shit that happened on set that day. 

     When the movie wrapped up and you went home for a month before the press tour, you were completely unsure and nervous about what direction your career was going in. You auditioned for a few new movies, but had yet to hear from any of the directors about casting decisions. You kept in touch Tom during the month you were apart and expressed your concerns. 

     “I don’t know, Tom. I’m just so sick of waiting around and hoping that some director out there throws me a bone, ya know’?” You said on facetime, while making cookies. 

     “Yeah, I totally understand that, (Y/N/N). I had that issue a couple years ago before the Marvel movies. Trust me, you did outstanding in that role and once it gets noticed I’m positive you’ll have directors calling you, begging for you to audition.” Tom smiled warmly into the camera as he walked around his apartment in London. 

      “Yeah, easy for you to say, movie-star.” You giggled, turning your face away from the camera in hopes that Tom wouldn’t notice the blush his compliments painted onto your cheeks 

     “I’m serious! You were outstanding! Like in that one scene where you—” 

      “Tom! Tessa chewed a hole in my trousers again!” A voice came from outside of the frame, “Mate, you gotta get her to stop doing that somehow.” 

     Tom sighed, and waved his hand dismissively at the figure, “Okay, sure. I’m busy right now.” Tom looked back to the camera, “anyways, as I was saying, don’t stress about not having a new project yet, (Y/N)—” 

     “(Y/N)?” The other voice whisper-yelled. “Let me say hi!”, suddenly the phone was yanked out of Tom's hands and the video shook around a bit as Tom wrestled to get it back. Finally, the camera stilled and Harrison was on the other end smiling. “Hi, (Y/N)!” 

     “Oh, hi Harrison!” You smiled back, laughing. You'd met Harrison a few times when he visited Tom on set. “How are you?” 

     The camera started moving around more as the background behind Harrsion whizzed past. You assumed Tom must’ve been chasing him to get the phone back. 

     “I’m good! I just auditioned for a new movie. You should audition too! The main female lead’s description looks just like you.” He exclaimed, running past the kitchen to his room. 

     “Oi! Give me my phone back you div!” You heard Tom yelling in the background, no doubt in hot pursuit of Harrison. 

     “I don’t know, I'm not sure I’m prepared for a lead role.” You sighed, “What’s the movie called? I’ll look into it.” 

     “It’s called ‘Collateral Damage’, it’s a spy movie.” Harrison said, shutting the door to his room, while Tom pounded on it from the other side. “Yeah, it’d be really fun working with you. Tom constantly talks about how much fun you are on set.” Harrison wheezed out, trying to catch his breath. 

      “Aw, that’s sweet of him.” You laughed. “Well I’ve got to go. Just tell Tom he can call me tomorrow or something.” You waved at the camera. “Bye!”

     “Yup, bye.” Harrison said right before the video cut out. 

      Harrison finally opened the door to a seething Tom. Tom grabbed the phone back from Harrison and noticed that the call had ended. 

     “Dude! Why would you do that?” Tom whined. 

     Harrison just patted Tom’s back, “Sorry, mate. She said she had to go, though. I was about to give the phone back.” 

     Tom huffed and sulked for a moment. “Whatever, I’ll just call her later, I guess.” 

     Harrison nodded and smirked at how whipped Tom was. “You should just ask her out if you’re so desperate for her attention.” Harrison teased. 

     “Shut up. I’m not desperate for her attention, I just like her voice and her personality, and the way she talks, and her funny sayings, and how her hair looks when she just woke up.” 

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     It was only a few days later when you received an email from the director of the movie Harrison told you about, asking for you to audition. You were ecstatic, Harrison must’ve already sent in some things about you since the director seemed adamant that you were of high interest for the role. 

     You called Tom immediately to share the good news. 

     He picked up after the third ring, “Hello, darling! How are you?” he beamed when he answered your call. He usually was the one to call you so he felt a sense of pride knowing that you were calling him for once. 

     “Tom! The director of the movie Harrison auditioned for just emailed me asking for me to audition!” You squealed excitedly. 

     “Really? That’s wonderful, love! Harrison just got the part of the lead too, so you’d be filming with him if you got it.” 

     “That’s so exciting, I’m flying to London for the audition in two days. Are you still there?” You pulled the phone away from your ear and switched it to speaker. “I’m booking the flight right now.” 

     “Yeah, I’ll be in London for another week and a half. Then we have the press tour starting in Japan.” Tom said, also switching to speaker phone to look at his calendar. “You can stay with Harrison and I while you’re here. Since we have to go to Japan together anyways.” Tom offered nervously. He really wanted you to stay in his flat with him. It’d be all cute and domestic, and maybe, just maybe, he’d spend enough time with you to not feel nervous about asking you on a date. If he was lucky, that is, but awaiting your reply he was a jittery ball of nerves. 

     “Yeah, that sounds wonderful. I won't be intruding though, right?” You said, smiling from ear to ear. Thank god you weren’t on facetime and Tom couldn’t see the stupid smile adoring your features. 

     “No, of course not. Harry will be so excited to see you. And Tessa too, she really misses you.” Tom shuffled around with his phone, shooting a quick text to Harrison letting him know you were coming to stay for a week. 

     “Ok, thanks so much, this is really thoughtful of you. I absolutely can’t wait to see you!” You gushed, finalizing your purchase of a one-way ticket to London. “K, the flight is at 2:30 pm here, it’s about 9 and a half hours, but you’re also ahead of me, so I’ll be in around..5?”

     “Yeah, that sounds right to me,” Tom chuckled, “I’ll come pick you up. I’ll wear my incognito disguise.” 

     “If you mean that stupid t-shirt you got that says ‘I’M NOT A CELEBRITY’, then maybe I’ll ask Harrison to come pick me up…”

     “That’s cold (Y/L/N).” 

     You giggled softly, “I’m sorry, Tommy. If it makes you feel better, that shirt isn’t as bad as that stupid blue beanie that you never wear correctly.”

     “How the fuck would that make me feel better? You’re killing me, (Y/N/N).” 

     You laughed at his over dramatic reaction, “Sorry that you’re a sensitive babe. I gotta go now, see you soon!” You hung up before Tom could respond with a sassy quip. Then immediately after you received a text:

Tommy: The second you get here I’m bout to 👊 

                     ➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

     Tom called Harrison up after you got off the phone, he needed to make sure his best friend wouldn’t say or do anything to embarrass him in front of you. 

     “Tom, don’t you think this is a bit obsessive? I mean, she’s only staying with us for a week and you already know her so well from spending all that time filming with her.” Harrison sighed, sick of listening to Tom ramble about every possible embarrassing situation he could be put in, in the coming week. 

     “Yeah, yeah, you’re right. It's no big deal. But don’t mention that time I accidentally shit my pants at the club, or that time I got hit in the head with a golf ball ‘cus I got distracted by a flock of geese, or that time a got chased by a flock of geese, or—”

     “Geez, mate. At this point we might as well not even talk to her.” Harrison chuckled, thinking of all the stories he could bring up about Tom around the dinner table with you. Tom really was just a walking ball of embarrassing moments. 

     “Stoppp ittt,” Tom whined, “when we were on set it was usually just the cast and Harry around, but you? You could do some real fucking damage to my love life, Haz.” 

     “What love life?” Harrison barked out, laughing. 

     Tom then hung up and began praying to whatever god was out there that this week could go by without a hitch, and then you and him would be on your way, together, to Japan. 

                    ➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

     The whole week spent in London actually went really well, especially the audition. Tom and Harrison both accompanied you for moral support, well Harrison actually had to be there to be your scene partner, but it was still nice knowing he supported you. 

     The director shook your hand and you went through the normal formalities before beginning your scene with Harrison. It was a quick scene with a monologue in it. The main premise of the movie was all about choosing love over work, especially in dangerous, life-threatening scenarios. The scene you used to audition with Harrison was the scene where the main character, Lincoln, and his lover interest, Mallory, were arguing, trying to push each other away to keep each other safe. The scene had a lot of raw emotion that you were able to tap into, and the directors gave your performance a standing ovation once the scene concluded. 

     They said that they’d get back to you within the next few days, but they also mentioned how the chemistry between you and Harrison was off the charts, leaving you hopeful. Tom and Harrison both gave you hugs and pats on the back. Tom had watched the whole scene unfold and he was in complete and utter awe of your talent. Part of him was annoyed that he didn’t audition for the movie and a chance as your love interest. But Harrison deserved this big break and so did you, so he was hopeful of the outcome being something that benefitted both of his best friends. 

    After the audition the rest of the week went by nearly perfectly. The real kicker was when Tom’s family invited you and Harrison to join them for dinner. Tom had not anticipated his mom asking you to come to family dinner, so he wasn’t able to stop the embarrassing anecdotes his mom told on his behalf. 

     “Tom had the cutest little tush,” Nikki exclaimed, placing the old homemade scrapbook in your lap and flipping through a couple of pages. “See look,” she happily pointed to a picture of Tom as a toddler in a bath, surrounded by bubbles, his little bum poking through them. 

     Tom sat uncomfortably on the sofa next to you, cringing at the now 21 year old photo of him. He expected you to also cringe along, or worse case scenario, get up and make a flimsy excuse to leave his crazy family, but you just chuckled along with Nikki and continued making your way through the scrapbook, making little comments here and there. 

     “Oh, and this one,” Nikki said, pointing to a photo of Tom crying and Sam holding up a superhero action figure triumphantly, “that was Tom’s favorite toy, but when Sam saw how much Tom liked it, he made an effort to always be playing with it when Tom came into the room and he wouldn’t share.”

     You giggled at the little whiny face Tom made in the picture, and turned to him, replicating it on your face, making fun of him. Tom laughed along and playfully shoved you. He adored how well you seemed to fit in with his family and his feelings for you only multiplied. 

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     The week in London was one of the best in your life. You didn’t realize how much you missed Tom until you got to the airport and he was there waiting for you, unfortunately in his stupid blue beanie, and no, it wasn’t on right, his big ears poked out of it horrendously. 

     The last day you had in London before you and Tom went to Japan, you finally received a call about the audition. The director called you to congratulate you on getting the part, and he sent you numerous emails about scheduling, where to be, and when. Harrison was elated to have a familiar face playing his love interest on screen, and Tom was over the moon excited for you, this on top of the Spider-man movie coming out, you were certainly becoming a force to be reckoned with. 

     You spent the night celebrating at a club, Harry and Sam also showed up to party with you. The night was still young and the club was already packed and in full swing. Tom ordered two shots for each of you to start off the night before he was whisked away by a few fans to sign autographs. When he didn’t return you took it upon yourself to have his shots, giving you an extra edge to help spice up your night. 

     Harrison found Tom in the corner of the club talking to some fans. But throughout his whole time taking pictures with them, he couldn’t help but glance at you every once and a while. You looked so carefree and beautiful, dancing around in your shiny silver top and leather leggings. 

      “Tom.” Harrison interrupted Tom’s gawking and directed his attention to the small group of fans Tom was with. 

     Tom nodded and finished up his pictures and autographs before wishing them all a good and safe night. Once he reached you, you engulfed him in a bone crushing hug. 

     “Thank you for such a great time in London, Tommy.” you slurred, already feeling the impact of the four shots you took. “I had the best time of my whole life.” You pecked his cheek and pulled him close to dance with you. 

                            ➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

     The following month or so on the press tour was a once in a lifetime experience. You travelled to more cities than you even knew the name of and you had all of your friends by your side. More so, you had motivation to remain approachable and well liked by fans considering that you were moving up in the industry. Some interviews were mostly for Tom, Zendaya, and Jacob. Your role in the movie was big enough for you to be needed for some interviews, and most people were genuinely interested in getting to know you, but there were also a handful of press activities that you weren’t included in, which you didn’t mind. 

     When you didn’t have anything to do for an hour or so, you would text Harrison and send him funny memes. He was quickly becoming one of your closest friends; you had already created a surplus of inside jokes with him just over the phone. 

     Tom noticed how you were always laughing at your phone or rapid fire texting. Even when you were being interviewed, Tom could faintly hear the buzz of your text message notifications going off. 

     “Tom,” you snapped in front of his eyes, “did you need something?” 

     “Huh?” Tom blinked a few times, “Uh—no, sorry.” Tom’s cheeks flushed pink, embarrassed for having been caught staring at you. He couldn’t help it though, you were dressed so pretty that day. You had your hair done up in two bubble braids and you wore his pink sweatshirt over your yellow sundress. 

     “Okay then.” You smiled at him. You went back to your phone, reading what Harrison had just texted you. “What was the name of that comedian we watched the other night?” 

     “The one on Netflix?” 

     You hummed out a yes, tapping away at your phone. 

     “Burt Kreisher, why?” Tom asked, leaning over to your chair to try and catch a glimpse of who you were texting. When he saw the contact name “Hazzy”, he couldn't stop the little angry pit of jealousy that started in his stomach. Sure, you were here with him now, not with Harrison, but when you two were apart you also texted him nonstop, and the texts seemed to all be inside jokes, which was something you also shared with him that he held near and dear.

     “I made a joke referencing him to Harrison and he didn’t get it. Fucking nerd.” You chuckled, texting Harrison a link to the skit you were referring to. 

     Tom chuckled along, but he couldn’t help but frown slightly at how bright your smile was when Harrison replied. 

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     The press tour and premiere of the movie seemed to go by lighting fast. You’d never been to a premiere for a production this big, and your nerves for the red carpet were starting to get to you. 

     You and Zendaya were stuffed into a hotel room with both of your respective teams, both trying to rapidly get both of you ready for the event. 

     “So when do you start filming for your next project?” Zendaya asked, she sat in front of a broadway-equse mirror, bright bulbs of light giving a luminescent glow to her already near flawless complexion. She hadn’t even finished her makeup yet and she was so pretty.  

     “In a month, I have to go back to London next week.” You said, sifting through the opinions you brought for dresses. You brought three options, just in case you changed your mind after seeing yourself in the dress. “Harrison and I are going to go over the scripts together and we were also told to go out in public a few times; for press and whatnot.” 

      “That’s exciting!” Zendaya mused, she glanced at the clock and gave her hairdresser some instructions about how much time she had to do hair. “It’s a good thing you guys are already friends. I remember when I filmed ‘The Greatest Showman’ I didn’t know many of the actors personally, so we had to go out together and do press all while being almost strangers. It was a bit nerve wracking.” Zendaya smiled at you fondly, she was like an older sister to you during this whole movie-making process, she constantly had your back. 

     “Yeah, I mean I’ll probably be in a situation like that at some point, but for my first lead role it’s nice to be working opposite a friend.” You smiled back, finally deciding on the red, sequined dress. 

     You both sat and worked through the makeup process in comfortable silence. 

     “So you and Tom…” Zendaya broke the silence and looked at you with a smirk on her face. 

     “What?” You looked at her with a dumbfounded look, before nervously laughing, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

     “Don’t play dumb, (Y/N/N).” She poked your arm and laughed, “He’s literally obsessed with you.” 

     You laughed at how ridiculous that sounded. A movie star, and very famous movie star at that, obsessed with you? You? Impossible. 

     “Yeah no, sorry but you got the wrong girl, babe.” You sighed, pulling out your phone to snap and selfie with her for your instagram story. You quickly snapped a pic of the two of you, her kissing your cheek, leaving a small, faint lipstick mark. “I mean it’d be nice,” you back tracked, “but I’m sure that’s just my wishful thinking.” 

     “What wishful thinking? I thought you were a pessimist?” Zendaya chuckled, taking her own photo with you to post later. 

     “I am, but I can’t help but indulge a bit.” 

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     Before you knew it, you were back in London, staying in a rented out flat for the next three to four months. Harrison was kind enough to come over to help you set up a work space, but he also offered you to spend most of your time at his place. Since Tom was in New York, doing interviews about the new Spider-man movie and having meetings with the Marvel Cinematic Universe team to try and gauge his future in the MCU, he wouldn’t be around for almost a month, so Harrison offered up Tom’s office when you needed to go over a scene by yourself and wanted a place that was already set up. 

     The days of filming seemed to go by in the blink of an eye. Most of your scenes were with Harrison, and he was the perfect scene partner. He rarely messed up, but if he did then he was quick to use it as an opportunity to improvise. His skills weren’t as well honed in like Tom’s, but it was obvious that their style ranged from a similar source. 

     The main thing about this movie that you were excited, but extremely nervous for, were the two sex scenes. The first one is at the beginning, where the two leads give in to each other for a night, then there's some implied stuff in between, and the last one is when the two leads part ways for the final time at the end of the movie. The first one had to be rough, fast, and needy, whereas the second one was direct to be more slow, thought out, and sensual. 

      Both were extremely stress-inducing to film. Harrison had also never done any scenes like this before, so he was on the same boat as you. Thankfully you had an amazing director and stunt coordinator to work with and with the help of other crew members, the scenes were mapped out so that it wasn’t too much improv or guessing on your part. 

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     The first intimate scene you shot actually happened to be the one at the end of the movie. That scene was more tame and dealt with more emotional subtexts than physical. Since you filmed that one first, you went into filming the next one with more confidence. It only took a few days to get the first scene down to perfection, so with this newfound confidence, it shouldn’t take too long to get the next one done. 

     On the days you shot intimate scenes, you only needed to wear the costume you wore before the scene and then you changed into a robe with nude underwear underneath. The bits with the outfit on before were already shot, so the director called a 30 minute break until you could begin shooting the actual sex part. 

     You were standing by the snack table, eyes scanning the table for any more muffins leftover from breakfast. The robe you wore made your skin prickle whenever a draft came onto set. 

     Just as you had found the muffin you were looking for, a pair of warm hands covered your eyes. 

     “Guess who!” An all too familiar warm, British accentuated, voice called. 

      You turned around in his arms, effectively nudging his hands from your face, and soon you were met with the warmest hazel eyes. Eyes that you missed so much this past month. 

      “Tommy!” You squealed and thrusted yourself into him in a hug. He immediately reciprocated it and wrapped your body in warmth. “What’re you doing here?” You asked once you let go of him. 

      “Harrison gave me the location so I could come watch you film. I just got home, like, two days ago.” Tom eyed you up and down, not realizing what little you had on. “Um—are you wearing anything under that?” He pointed up and down your figure. 

     “Nope, today and tomorrow we’re scheduled to film the sex scene.” You said casually, doing a silly twirl. Tom gulped. 

     “A s-sex scene?” He choked, “I didn’t know you guys had one.” 

     “Yup,” you smirked, “two actually, this is my first one ever, Haz’s too, I think. Well actually, we filmed the sex scene at the end of the movie last week.” 

     “Yeah… t-that’s cool.” Tom smiled weakly. 

     Right as you were about to continue your conversation with Tom, an arm swung over your shoulder and pulled you close. Harrison smiled at the both of you. He wore a similar robe to yours, except he left the front open. His plaid boxers on full display. 

     “Don’t listen to her, Tom. She’s a natural.” Harrison pinched your cheeks. Tom clenched his jaw at the comment. He knew Harrison hadn't meant to imply anything with it, but he couldn't help but hear the hidden meaning behind the otherwise innocent compliment. 

      You giggled and pushed his hand away, “Only ‘cus my scene partner is so darn cute.” You retaliated, poking and tickling his pecs. 

      This kind of goofy banter was normal between you and Harrison, but Tom hadn’t seen either of you in so long. He also had never seen you two interact so fluently with each other. He watched the interaction with a tight-lipped smile, nodding along and shrugging every once in a while to seem like he was paying attention. In reality though, he couldn’t pry his thoughts away from how close you were to Harrison. 

     “Ok everyone! Places! Let’s wrap this scene up and put it to rest today!” Your director called. You and Harrison smiled and waved goodbye to Tom. Harrison pointed to a chair in the room that had a nice view of the set where Tom could watch. Tom nodded and walked over to the chair, enthusiasm for watching you work completely dissipating. 

     The scene started off rough right off the bat. The second the director said ‘Action!’ you and Harrison were practically pouncing on each other. Harrison had you pressed up against the wall and you were both breathing heavily. He was leaving sloppy, wet kisses down your neck, then across your collar bones. Your moans, which Tom always imagined to sound like music to his ears, sounded too real for his liking. But no matter how much he tried to look away, his eyes were glued to the two bodies moving fluidly with one another. 

     “Cut! Cut!” The director yelled, effectively ending the scene. You and Harrison pulled apart and he gave you a peck on the cheek, as in saying ‘good job’. “That was good, but Harrison,” The blonde nodded, awaiting further instruction. “You gotta be a little rougher, hm?” 

     Harrison nodded along with the critique. “(Y/N)?” the director moved his attention to you, “would it be okay if Harrison marked you up? Just a few hickeys to really sell the illusion. We can do without, though, if you feel uncomfortable.” 

     Tom overheard the interaction and internally hoped that you were too uncomfortable for that, but deep down he knew you would do it. You were never the type to stray away from a challenge. 

     “Yeah, that’s fine.” You nodded, chest still heaving from the scene. You looked at Harrison. “Is that okay with you?” 

     Harrison nodded, a shy smile tugging at his lips. Yeah, you guys have been working at this scene for days now, but he’d never been rough enough to leave marks. He’d be lying if he said the thought didn’t invigorate him. 

     So the scene started from the top, you pressed up against the wall, all your weight shoved between the flimsy wall of the set and Harrison’s strong arms. Harrison did exactly as the director required, leaving noticeable dark spots across the top of your chest. Unlike your previous moans, which had just been for show, this new roughness in his actions tore real moans from your lips. 

     Tom sat uncomfortably in his chair, wishing he picked a different day to visit you on set. He shifted around, watching twin moans pull from both you and Harrison’s throat. He watched as you nipped at Harrison's ear as he faux thrusted into you. The jealousy that had pitted itself in his stomach soon turned to self-loathing. You looked really into the scene, he couldn’t help but feel like he was intruding. He knew you were a great actress, but he couldn’t believe that this was all acting. In his eyes, he believed that some part of you must wish that this was real. And part of you did like this scenario, but you wouldn’t have picked Harrison to be opposite you in this little fantasy. 

     Your moans and Harrisons both grew louder, leading up to the climax as scripted. Tom, not wanting to watch anymore exited the set quickly before he could watch the scene end. 

     You and Harrison finished up, gaining applause and praise afterwards from the director and crew members on set. 

     “Where’s Tom?” You asked, scrambling back into your robe and smoothing out your now roughed up hair. 

     Harrison, now noticing the absence of his best friend, began to feel a bit guilty. He knew Tom had a thing for you, maybe he should’ve told Tom not to visit set today. 

     “Um, (Y/N)?” He mumbled, pulling you aside slightly. 

     “Yeah?” You still looked around for Tom a bit, heart sinking when you realized that he must've left without saying goodbye. 

      “I shouldn’t be the one telling you this,” Harrison began, drawing your full attention, “but Tom really likes you. He always downplayed it, so I didn’t realize how much, but I think watching this scene might’ve upset him a bit.” Harrison looked towards the exit, no doubtedly where Tom left through, out into the parking lot. 

     “Oh—oh!” You gasped, feeling terribly for having put Tom in such an awkward position. “I didn’t know he felt the same.” You whispered, smiling softly to yourself. Guess Z was right after all. You pulled away from Harrison, “I’ll go talk to him.” 

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      Tom didn’t go far. He still wanted to be there to support you; he didn’t want to come off as a jealous prick, but he couldn’t keep watching that intimacy between you and his best friend. He sat on the curb outside of the building the set was built in. A few people passed him going to their designated buildings on the lot, but he didn’t pay any mind to them, too lost in his thoughts. He needed to tell you sooner rather than later how he felt. No time to be a pussy anymore. 

     “Tom?” You walked up next to his sitting figure, still only in a robe, tightly wrapped around you. He looked up to acknowledge you, mumbling a soft ‘Hey.’ before looking back down, trying to collect his thoughts and courage. It’s now or never. 

     You sat beside him and rested your head on his shoulder. “Harrison told me something interesting in there,” You paused for a moment before continuing, “about you.” 

     Tom’s head shot up, and he looked at you with frantic eyes, only imagining the worse. There were too many things Harrison could’ve told you about Tom to sully your image of him. 

     “Whatever it was, he's a lying prick!” Tom rushed out. 

     You giggled, lifting your head up to look him in the eyes, his dark hazel eyes boring into yours. 

     “That’s a shame then,” You shrugged, “considering I like you too.” 

     Tom breathed out a sigh of relief, before looking back at you, doing a double take. 

    “Wait, what?” 

     “Mhm, yeah.” You said casually, standing up. “But since Harrison’s a liar then I suppose he was wrong.” You teased. 

     “No!” Tom grabbed your wrist and pulled you back next to him, but his aim was a bit off and you ended up in his lap. “He lies about a lot, but not about this.”

     You smiled at him, “I should hope not, considering I’m crazy about you.” 

     Tom couldn’t help the smile that beamed across his face, but then he noticed the marks left on you by Harrison. Remembering why he was insecure in the first place, he looked away. 

     “What about Harrison?” He asked. You looked at him utterly confused. Tom caught on and explained further. “You looked like you were really into that scene with him.” 

     You giggled and pinched Tom’s cheek, turning it red. “I’m an actress, you idiot.”

     Tom scoffed, “I know that. It’s just— I didn’t realize you could fake that kind of love.” 

     You looked at Tom’s downcast face. You leaned in and kissed his neck, just under his jaw. You nipped and sucked softly, leaving a nice, dark pink blotch that would go away in a few days under his jaw and he whimpered softly.

     “I’d never fake that kind of love with you.” You grabbed his face, holding it gently in your hands. “I’d never have to.” You whispered, pulling him in for a kiss, soft and sweet. 

     Tom pulled you closer, resting a hand on the small of your back, kissing back fervently. 

     The short make-out session being cut short by the door to the set bursting opened. Harrison rushing out, now dressed in slacks and a white button up for the next scene you needed to shoot that day. 

     “(Y/N)! Hair and makeup need you.” You lugged yourself off of Tom’s lap, promising to talk to him after you finished for the day. You went back inside, jokingly blowing a kiss to Harrison on your way. 

     Harrison stayed outside and sat next to Tom. 

     “Did she confess first?” He asked after a moment of silence. 

     “Yup.” Tom smiled happily, licking his lips, tasting the strawberry chapstick he saw you put on earlier. 

     “You owe me 10 pounds then, you wimp.” 

     “Oh, fuck off.” Tom groaned, promptly pulling ten pounds out of his wallet and handing it to Haz.