#i just love putting this sopping wet pathetic excuse of a man in relationships. it makes me grin.

[neko-naruto]

top 5 etho ships ? bonus points for any explanation

my personal top five in no particular order, and like, ya gotta understand im still new here (hermitcraft/life series) so my opinions are poised to change, but the current standings are:

Bdubs/Etho/Cleo, i'll be honest, i haven't written or read any clethubs, but i saw some art of them that made my brain shortcircuit. they are femdom, himbo, and twink. i just think that Etho should have two people who are stronger than he is on either side of him at all times, bonus points if you let Cleo be the tallest. Bdubs being super clingy, Etho reluctantly tagging along, and Cleo making sure they don't fucking die because yeah they are god damn idiots sometimes, but they're her idiots. and she loves them. and probably gives them noogies and headlocks them.

Cleo/Etho, their marriage in limlife is so much fucking fun, especially when read under an aro4allo lens. Etho whose been happily married for over a decade watching his friends enter relationships and realizing that he loves differently, he doesn't even love remotely close to how they love, love isn't even the right word. hes scared so he leaves, hes not doing it right and his wife must be upset about it, that must be why everythings crumbling. and Cleo, not giving two shits, because that's her husband and by god they're gonna make it work if he can realize that being absent is whats breaking up their marriage, not showing affection and intimacy differently.

Gem/Etho, as a canadian i am legally obligated to ship this, as a lesbian i love it when men have chaotic gremlin girlfriends who put them in their place. see that one episode of hermicraft wherein Gem beats his ass on repeat and he keeps coming back for more. its like, like theres an unspoken solidarity, 'hey we're the same even though we're not' and they stick with each other. predator/prey dynamic if you go with deer Gem and fox Etho, you also get it with sea monster Gem and fox Etho, except he's the prey and she has the biological advantage instead. also, when paired with the transfemme Etho headcanon we get some yuri which im always down for.

Grian/Etho, this one came to via an Ao3 commenter and i have seen two pieces of fanart for it and like, seven fics. but i still think the dynamic of bird and fox would be fun to work with in writing depending on the bird Grian is hybridized with, especially if Grian is the smaller one. also in limlife??? hello?? Etho, swearing loyalty and promising to be someones sword is not heterosexual behaviour. what they had in limlife, even if brief, had me shaking i'll be real. also, for their hermitcraft dynamic, it'd be hot if i threw Scar into the mix, for flavour.

Pearl/Etho/Tango, consensual workplace relationships make me absolutely insane, it could tear apart their business or bring it further together. they have the kind of dynamic that makes my head absolutely fucking empty, one of those 'i just think theyre neat' kind of ships. the culture clash between each of their species and their own personal tastes, Tango's a blaze and they mate for life, Pearl's a siren and they don't do much for romance, Etho's a fox and they come and go- but they make it happen in spite of that. im working on getting them a canonized Ao3 tag right now, they have such a fun dynamic. also, they fucked in that post office when no one was looking.

tbh these are all really closely tied, and i also have a soft spot for tangtho and the team ties poly. they're all really fun ships, i just really enjoy polyships to be real with ya'll. and the life series and hermitcraft are full of so many possible polyships that its just making me foam at the fucking mouth. sorry boat boys enjoyers, the vision has not yet engulfed me, but hey im a multishipper it might be yet to happen.

[beetled-juice]

#hes so easy to play like that bc hes actually desperate for acknowledgement#he is not above begging you for attention that's what I think#dont even think about the silent treatment or ignoring him at all he will not let that happen (go off king!)#i also think he'd be really nosy because imagine being used to hearing all the hot goss ppl talk about for 600 years#then all of a sudden they can see you so they don't talk about it so openly! theyre in whispers and now u know a lot Less and it's like.#u feel excluded!!!!! like hi umm excuse me what are you guys talking about??? 🫣 and stuff like that#ok im rambling I'll stop [tags by @juicedbeetle]

once again I fail to check the notes on my posts and miss GOLDEN TIER CONTENT

he is SO easy to play, if you even HINT at turning your attention somewhere else he's instantly on his knees begging and pleading in the most pathetic display you've ever seen. you can't get 5 minutes into the silent treatment before he's either flipping his lid or becoming a puddle of sopping wet snot-nosed stripes at your feet. most of the time you crack pretty quickly, unable to ignore him for long, because seeing him purple and sad and shaking like a cold chihuahua breaks you.

I feel like he'd become the guy who has absolutely no idea what's going on ever because he got so used to absorbing information by virtue of being invisible that he doesn't think to just. ask questions. he can't pick up on subtlety or put clues together when it comes to the interpersonal relationships within his little circle of breathers. this is also why he never figured out you were in love with him OOP

also love and light but this man can NOT keep a secret to save his undead life. you tell him something in confidence and immediately the maitlands or lydia or delia knows about it, and from there it spreads to the rest of the family. even if you explicitly say that what you're telling him is a secret and he can't tell anyone, it'll eventually slip out - not because he's doing it on purpose, but because once again he got so used to being invisible that he never had to develop a brain-to-mouth filter. he'll be chattering away without much thought and oops now delia knows charles accidentally broke her crystal necklace, and adam knows it was lydia who used the last of his paints from the model, and now you know it was him who ate your aloe plant last month (because yeah, he can't even keep his own secrets).

you all learn very quickly that he's not to be trusted with any information that the rest of the family can't also know about. which leads to a lot of the whining and begging and pleading to be "in" on whatever the gossip of the day is, especially if he catches people whispering.

Y/N: hey beej, can I ask you something?

Beetlejuice: sure! but it'll cost ya >:3

Y/N: okay, I'll just ask Adam then

Beetlejuice: wh- NO WAIT