#i just live him and his engagement with victor

[sarahreesbrennan]

Are all the themes in “in other lands” supposed to be a commentary on something? Or do you just like writing sex scenes between minors, age gaps, and reverse misogyny?

Genuine question.

Ohhh, my dear anon, I don't believe this is a genuine question.

But it does bring up something I've been meaning to talk about. So I'll take the bait.

Firstly. Yes, my work contains a commentary on the world around us. I wonder what I could be doing with the child soldiers being sexually active in their teens (people hook up right after battles), and the age gap relationship ending in the younger one being too mature for the elder. What could I possibly have been attempting when I said 'how absurd gender roles are, when projected onto people we haven't been accustomed by our own society to see that way'? I wasn't being subtle, that's for sure.

Secondly. Yes I do enjoy writing! I think I should, it's my life's work. Am I titillated by my own writing, no - though I think it's fine to be. The sex scenes of In Other Lands aren't especially titillating, to be honest. It is interesting to me how often people sneer at women for writing romance and sex scenes, having 'book boyfriends,' insinuating women writers fancy their own characters. Women having too much immoral fun! Whereas men clearly write about sex for high literary purposes.

… I have to say from my experience of women and men's writing, I haven't found that to be true.

I’m not in this to have an internet argument. Mostly people use bad faith takes to poke at others from the other side of a screen for kicks. But I do know some truly internalise the attitude that writing certain things is wrong, that anyone who makes mistakes must be shunned as impure, and that is a deeply Victorian and restrictive attitude that guarantees unhappiness.

I've become increasingly troubled by the very binary and extreme ways of thinking I see arising on the internet. They come naturally from people being in echo chambers, becoming hostile to differing opinions, and the age-old conundrum of wanting to be good, fearing you aren't, and making the futile effort to be free of sin. It makes me think of Tennyson, who when travelling through Ireland at the time of the Great Famine, said nobody should talk about the 'Irish distress' to him and insisted the window shades of his carriage be shut as he went from castle to castle. So he wouldn't see the bodies. But that didn't make the bodies cease to be.

In Les Mis, Victor Hugo explores why someone might steal, what that means about them and their circumstances, and who they might be - and explores why someone else is made terribly unhappy, and endangers others, through their own too rigid adherence to judgement and condemnation without pity. The story understands both Jean Valjean the thief and Javert the policeman. Javert’s way of thinking is the one that inevitably leads to tragedy.

Depiction isn't endorsement. Depiction is discussion.

Many of my loved ones have had widely varying relationships to and experience of sex (including 'none'). They've felt all different types of ways about it. If writing about them is not permissible, I close them out. I'd much rather a dialogue be open than closed.

I do understand the urge to write what seems right to others. I've been brain-poisoned that way myself. I used to worry so much about my female characters doing the wrong things, because then they'd be justly hated! Then I noted which of my writer friends had people love their female characters the most - and it was the one who wrote their female characters as screwing up massively, making rash and sometimes wrong decisions. Who wrote them as people. Because that's what people do. That's what feels true to readers.

I want my characters to feel true to readers. I want my characters to react in messy ways to imperfect situations. I love fantasy, I love wild action and I love deep thought, and I want to engage. That's what In Other Lands is about. That's even more what Long Live Evil is about. That sexy lady who sashays in to have sexy sex with the hero - what is her deal? Someone who tricks and lies to others - why are they doing that, how did they get so skilled at it? What makes one person cruelly judgemental, and another ignore all boundaries? What makes Carmen Maria Machado describe ‘fictional queer villains’ as ‘by far the most interesting characters’? What irritates people about women having a great time? What attracts us to power, to fiction, and to transgression?

I don’t know the answers to all those questions, but I know I want to explore them. And I know one more thing.

If the moral thing to do is shut people out and shut people up? Count me among the villains.

[vasilissadragomir]

people often use snow’s experiences with lucy gray as an explanation for how he engages with katniss, but i think that the true story of his downfall lies not in how lucy gray and katniss are similar, but rather in how they are different.

snow knew that it was never him that made the games what they are. it was lucy gray, with her scrappy, passionate artistry, that put on the show that kept people watching. more importantly, it was lucy gray that put on the show that kept HIM watching. all he ever did was give her the stage.

ergo, snow recognizes that the person with the power to usurp him is his natural counterpart, someone like lucy gray, who possessed both the charisma and humanity that he sorely lacks. however, in his mind, those traits are not real; they’re performed in order to obtain power. how could he know better, when he’s never experienced them himself, and the only person he ever truly believed possessed them betrayed him?

so snow keeps his eye out for performers, people with gravitas who could capture the heart of the nation, and squashes their spark as soon as he can. people like haymitch. people like finnick.

and that’s where snow goes wrong. he doesn’t see katniss’ similarities to lucy gray from the start, because while they both demonstrate astonishing, intriguing bravery at their reapings, their actions and motivations are completely different. lucy gray is motivated to perform by anger for herself, and katniss is motivated to sacrifice herself by fear for her sister.

but then katniss starts to put on a show for the audience, kissing peeta and being willing to die with the berries at the end of the 74th games. snow starts to see an entirely different side of katniss that resembles lucy gray to a concerning degree. he sees how, with peeta at her side, she could beguile the nation the same way lucy gray had. and, even worse, she was using the poor, helpless boy who had the misfortune of falling in love with her to survive. the moment katniss started performing, he finally sees lucy gray within her. but it’s already too late.

by catching fire, katniss is the spark fanning the flames of the resistance, but snow fails to understand why. as far as he’s concerned, katniss’ star power comes from her connection to peeta. he tries to weaponize their “love” for his own gain, but it doesn’t work, not because people don’t believe that she loves peeta, but because, for the first time, a victor offers their winnings to the family of a fallen tribute.

snow is caught in a catch 22 of seneca crane’s making—if he kills katniss, she becomes a martyr. but if he lets her live, she’ll be a revolutionary icon. either way, she’s the spark. so he has no choice but to allow the spark to flicker, just for a little while. enter the 75th games. snow knows he needs katniss to die a tragic death in the games. more specifically, he needs it to be a brutal death at the hands of a tribute, not the gamemakers, because he understands that as long as the districts see the capitol as the one who ended the life of katniss everdeen, she’ll still be a martyr.

but snow still doesn’t get it. in the quarter quell, the prey does not become predator. katniss’ allies protect her, ensuring she survives until district 13 rescues her. why would they protect this girl, assuming such a steep personal risk? why would they put everything on the line for a revolution they personally stand to benefit little from? he doesn’t know. but he does know that lucy gray katniss is at the center of it all, so he tries to eliminate what makes her look best: peeta.

and that is snow’s fatal mistake. what he, coin, and everyone but haymitch fail to understand is that it was never peeta that made katniss look good—it was katniss, who befriended and put faith in rue. katniss, who recruited mags, wiress, and beetee as allies. she is the source of revolutionary inspiration. it isn’t her charisma or even her compassion, and it certainly isn’t how well she performed those virtues.

katniss becomes the mockingjay because of her solidarity.

lucy gray was charismatic, like peeta, and compassionate, like both peeta and katniss, but she did not demonstrate solidarity. she was never truly “district” in the way katniss is. she showed kindness to jessup, not because he was from 12, but because he showed kindness to her. lucy gray left behind everything and everyone she loved when she left coriolanus, because she was first and foremost a survivor.

katniss was a survivor her whole life, but she survives exclusively to ensure the people she loves are protected. she always does what she can for people more vulnerable than herself. lucy gray couldn’t have sparked a revolution on her own because she lacked the solidarity that makes a hope for a better future authentic to others. katniss is the human manifestation of solidarity, and to a people divided by a common enemy, that’s the most inspiring thing a person can be.

only in the end, when katniss shoots coin, does snow realize none of it was a performance. choking on the blood of his countless adversaries, snow’s final moments are consumed by what he got wrong. what made lucy gray and katniss different ends his reign, but ironically, the final nail in his coffin is an act that both lucy gray and katniss share in their last moments with snow. they both prove, unequivocally, that he is not the center of their worlds like they are his. lucy gray put her own survival before her love for him, and katniss puts the future of her nation before her hate for him. in the end, he simply doesn’t matter. and that’s greater justice than could have ever been achieved if katniss had fired her arrow into his heart.

the greatest enemy to coriolanus snow could only be the person who reignited the embers of a dying revolutionary fire, who demonstrated to a broken people that while one spark alone might not be enough, thousands of sparks uniting in solidarity is an unbeatable force.

and really, he should have known better. after all, even when snow lands on top, fire melts snow.

[darknight3904]

𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕽𝖆𝖈𝖊

ᴀᴇᴍᴏɴᴅ ᴛᴀʀɢᴀʀʏᴇɴ x ꜰᴇᴍ!ᴏᴄ! ᴛᴀʀɢᴀʀʏᴇɴ

ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ ᴘᴀʀᴛ / ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ /ᴍʏ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

Rhaella is 17, Aemond 16

132 AC

"Oh shit!"

"I'm fine." Aemond waved her off, avoiding the way she reached to soothe what she had just done.

They had been training for nearly an hour and Aemond suggested real swords instead of the boring practice ones. Rhaella had agreed not expecting to actually make any contact with him. She had been wrong and watched as a thin line of blood trickled down Aemonds face, just under his eye patch. Her sword had just grazed him, a result of his left side being blind and his slower reaction timing on that side.

"Perhaps we should stop," Rhaella suggested, feeling guilty over the small nick.

"I'm fine." Aemond huffed, wiping at the blood, and smearing it across his cheek, "I want to go again."

"You are tired, we can resume later. We should have lunch." Rhaella says, dreamily thinking of food.

"Once more," Aemond demanded

Rhaella knew why he was being so insistent on one more round. She had bested him multiple times today, Aemnd must've been thinking it was because she had better sword skills. Truly, he was the better one, Rhaella was just hiding in his blind spot and exploiting a weakness she knew he had. Something Daemon had taught her years ago.

"If an opponent has a weakness, you should use it. It's their fault for not fighting at their best."

As much as she hated the cunt, he was right about some things, fighting just happened to be one of his strong suits. Maybe his only strong suit, besides Craxes. Daemon's dragon was truly captivating.

She wasn't entirely sure how Aemond hadn't noticed what she was doing. Perhaps it was the heat. The sun was fierce today, she could feel the sweat making her skin stick to her training clothes.

"Call it a day, my Prince." Cole's words echoed across the training yard. He had been watching them while polishing his armor, "Lady Rhaella is clearly tired."

She was not tired. She was sweaty and hungry, and she felt bad for Aemond.

"Very well. Tomorrow then, and I'll be the victor." Aemond declared, taking the sword from her hands, and placing it in a barrel for the smith to sharpen later.

"Mmhmm, sure." Rhaella hummed

Aemond followed her back to her chamber where they ate lunch together, sitting on her balcony while the warm wind cooled them down.

"As my mother talked to you recently?" He asked

Rhaella's mouth was full of the sweet fruit from Dorne that her handmaiden had brought.

"No." She said, her voice muffled with food. She rarely worried about manors around Aemond, he never seemed to care if she stuffed her face full of food or sat with a slouch in her back.

"I was wondering if she and my father had arranged an engagement yet." He said, his eye fixed on the horizon.

"For you?!" Rhaella nearly choked on her fruit, Aemond wanted to be wed?!

"No, idiot." Aemond shook his head, "For you. You're of age."

"Don't remind me." She groaned, swallowing her food.

"Don't you want a family?" He asked

"I do...I just don't want to be shipped off like some broodmare to pump out heirs for my husband and then for my home. I want to live an exciting life, not some boring one." She sighed

"You fly one of the largest dragons alive and you feel like your life isn't exciting?" Aemond teased

"You know what I mean." She said

"I do...I'm presuming you want to actually get along with your husband as well." He said

"Yes well, if we have to marry, having someone I actually can hold a conversation with is preferred

"So every Lannister is out of the question then." Aemond said seriously

Rhaella laughed at his tone.

"I'm being serious." He said, looking at her

"I know. You're correct, that's why it's so funny to me. " Rhaella smiled

"Whoever you marry should expect our friendship to continue." Aemond declared

"I had no intentions of ever ending it." Rhaella said, "Daemon used to say marriage is a duty. I will carry my duty out to whoever I marry."

"You've spoken of Daemon quite a bit recently. Do you miss him?" Aemond asked

"Gods no. He has said some things that...come in handy at times. He's a fool but knows a bit about life I suppose." She said

"I suppose that's what happens when you're old," Aemond said

"I am sure Daemon isn't yet fifty," Rhaella said trying to remember exactly how old he was

"He is older than you and I, therefore old," Aemond said

"So does that make Maester Edric ancient?" Rhaella smiled

"Edric is simply a fossil, my dear." Aemond joked

Rhaella hated it when he did that. Calling her sweet names like it was nothing. It made her heart leap into her throat.

"I said to stop that." She blushed

"Stop what?" He asked, feigning cluelessness.

"The terms of endearment! How will I ever wed if you are standing next to me calling me names." Rhaella said

"Of course, I will stop. It was of poor taste of me to even call you those things in the first place" Aemond said

Rhaella looked over at Aemond. He looked ethereal today, even with dried-up blood on his cheek. Most notably though he had the slyest smirk on his face. It seemed to say "I don't plan on stopping, ever."

"You're a fool," Rhaella said, faux anger on her face

"Takes one to know one, my dear," Aemond replied

Aemond left Rhaella with her handmaids after another hour of conversation. Rhaella had declared she needed a bath after their training, her handmaidens had arrived and ushered him out of her chamber like he was on fire. Truthfully Aemond would've been fine, sitting there with his eye closed while she bathed. He hated not having her by his side. Having a companion was truly wonderful for him.

He found his way back to his own chamber and ordered a bath to be drawn for himself. He was sure the sweat was beginning to make him smell. Here in the hot water and soap, he found was the perfect time to think. His silver hair floated around him as he submerged himself up to his shoulders.

Aemond hated the idea of marriage. Not just for himself, but for everyone. He saw how truly unhappy his parents were, even if they acted as though they were not. Heleana was equally unhappy, although at least Aegon avoided her most of the time. His brother was a twat but at least he let her enjoy her bugs and such. Most of all though, he hated the idea of Rhaella marrying.

He tried to imagine her, whisked off to some castle, away from him, with some lord as her husband. He could feel the jealousy simmering in his chest. Aegon had teased him for it relentlessly. His usually drunk brother was surprisingly keen with his observations and discovered Aemond's crush about a year ago. Now, whenever Aegon caught his little brother staring at their cousin he'd make sure to whisper a remark to him.

"You are greener than the grass outside."

"Does she know about Madame Sylvi?"

Those being the most recent ones. Truly, Aemond hadn't seen Sylvi since his 13th name day. He hadn't even known her name until a year ago when Aegon had been retelling his times with her after stumbling into Aemonds room late at night.

Aemond was unsure of how he'd ever find a way to tell Rhaella not to run off and marry some other lord, to squeeze out heirs for Runestone with him. He could help her make the heirs for her families ancesteral seat. If only his mother could see that he was the best match for her. Not some Tully twat or a golden lion of Casterly rock, or gods forbid Benjicot Blackwood. As he often did, Aemond knew what he wanted, he was sure of it. He wanted Rhaella. He was just unsure of how to go about it all, getting what he wanted this time would surely be more challenging than in the past.

Next Part

Hope everyone is enjoying so far. I wanted to let everyone know I am on vacation I have one more part that is pre-written that I will release in a few days. I hope you all can hold on until I return and have time to write.

Also, am I the only one who, whenever Rhaenrya's kid Joffery is mentioned, gets violent-like flashbacks to Joffery as in Cersei's brat? GOT gave me PTSD I guess. Anyway, I'll share some fun pics of my trip when I return.

Comment below to join the taglist. (The taglist is not by chapter, once added, you will remain there unless you ask to be removed.)

Taglist:

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@holymusicalmothman

@koobratzy

@schelfinser

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@optimistic-but-very-realistic

@vieenr0se

[yuurikatsukienthusiast]

Something I love most about Victor is just how shameless he is about loving Yuuri.

Throughout the entire series, Victor is depicted showing his affection for Yuuri very publicly.

A few examples of this being...

When Victor hugged Yuuri from behind in front of the entire audience at the CSK championship.

When Victor got completely drunk and started hanging off of Yuuri in front of everyone before the Cup of China, and had absolutely no complaints about the picture Phichit posted of them.

When Victor wrapped his arms around Yuuri's waist while resting his head on his shoulder in front of the other skaters at the Cup of China

When Victor kissed him in front of thousands of people on live television at the Cup of China.

When Victor publicly announced their engagement the rest of the gpf skaters + the others around them who were also there to witness it in Barcelona.

Must I go on?

Moral of the story is, he's so proud of being able to love Yuuri that he doesn't even care about his title as the 'living legend of figure skating' who went off to coach some 'dime a dozen' Japanese figure skater. He doesn't let the possibility of backlash affect the way he shows his partner his love, and he doesn't care about what anyone else has to say about their relationship but the two of them, and I think that's such an amazingly healthy aspect about their relationship that just isn't talked about enough.

It says so much about Victor as a character. It shows that Yuuri is so much more than just his student, fellow competitor, or fan. He sees Yuuri as his equal, and as someone worthy of showing off and taking care of. He loves Yuuri enough to put him above his title, and to sacrifice his competitive skating career for him. He refers to Yuuri as his life and his love, and was absolutely devastated at the idea of Yuuri not needing him as his coach anymore.

He loves Yuuri more than words, and everyday I grow even more upset that we never got to see more of them.

[dark-frosted-heart]

Roger Barel Main Route - Chapter 1

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. I’m doing this for archiving purposes and you can probably find a better translation out there.

Destiny, unrealizable dreams, incurable disease, war, poverty…

It just goes on.

This world’s a bargain sale of despair.

And it’s called “despair” because you can’t do anything about it.

However, that’s not something I’ll allow.

If you can’t overcome despair— then what’s the point of me, of us humans, being born?

That’s why these days, I live my life flipping it off.

--

It’s been a week since I started my “sinful life” as a Fairytale Keeper.

It wouldn’t be long before I could go back to my former life after keeping this secret—at least that’s what I thought.

--

Darius: While I didn’t expect there to be a get-together soon after our arrival to England, I’m happy.

That night, a dinner party he called a get-together was held…

Between “Crown”, an organization directly under the command of Her Majesty Queen Victoria, and “Vogel”, an organization directly under the command of Germany.

All members were together in one place.

Vogel had just arrived from Germany a few hours ago.

~~ Flashback ~~

Victor: Vogel is a research organization that’s dedicated to the societal contribution of the Cursed Ones. They will be staying in the palace for a few months as goodwill ambassadors.

Darius: Our motto is “the betterment of society through the Cursed Ones”

~~ End flashback ~~

(They looked friendly, not people you should be wary of)

However, there’s something that’s been bothering me for a while now.

Harrison, whose power allowed him to see through lies, said “they’re lying”— 

(So long as we don’t truly know them, we shouldn’t let our guard down yet)

Darius, who I believe is the chief of “Vogel” was sitting next to William and enjoying his conversation with him.

(For now I think it’s better for me to lie low and stay quiet)

On the table was a spread of dishes that Victor had put his all into preparing.

(Even though it all looks so delicious…I’m too nervous to eat)

Nica: What’s this? Robin, you haven’t touched your food. Then I’ll take this cherry.

Ring: Nica, you’ll get a stomach ache if you take a stranger’s food.

Nica: What’s with the serious warning, little brother? It’s just an excuse to make an appeal to be friends. Ring, you’re really out of touch.

Ring: …I’m ignorant.

The twins looked similar, with the same hair and eye color.

Kate: Nica and Ring…right?

Nica: Yep, you remembered our names? We remember yours too, Kate. Even though we just met, I think we’ll get along? Hey, show us around the palace. Let’s get out of here.

He slipped his arm around my waist with a practiced gesture and whispered in my ear.

(Wha…)

The moment I stood my guard, I felt someone tug my arm from the opposite side.

Roger: Sorry to interrupt, but Kate’s got a prior engagement with me.

Kate: Roger!

Roger: The queen’s aide’s great at showing people around the palace. He’ll be delighted. Victor, would you mind showing our guests from Vogel around?

Victor: Yes, of course! I will show you around every nook and cranny.

Nica: (¬_¬)…

Nica narrowed his eyes at Victor and then smiled.

Nica: Vielen Dank (Many thanks)

William: While I’d rather not, it’s time to call it a night.

Darius: You’re right, Lord Rex. We of Vogel would like to get along with Crown like a family. Should you ever be in trouble, we’d be delighted for you to turn to us for help, okay?

--

—In a room in Crown’s castle.

In a luxurious room prepared for Vogel, Darius sat comfortably in his chair and smiled.

Darius: What did you think of our get-together with Crown?

Nica: Amazing. I tried to lure the lrobin, but the hunter got in the way.

Darius: Hunter? Ah, you mean the “double-crossing hunter” Roger Barel. Hehe, wanting to snatch the robin* from them is quite reckless.

Ring: …About Roger Barel and that girl…are they together?

Nica: They’re not. But there’s no doubt that Crown cares for the robin a lot.

Darius: Gathering information is our main goal. It’ll be valuable material for eventually realizing our ambitions. Ring, Nica. Continue to gather any useful information on Crown and Robin.

Nica and Ring: Verstanden/…Understood

Darius: …Roger Barel. A former doctor with a strange fixation of “Cursed Ones”. Does he have a place in our “family”?

--

As the get-together came to a close, people started filing out of the room one after the other.

Before I knew it, even Roger disappeared…—

(H-huh?)

I ran out into the hall and saw his solid back.

Kate: Um, what was that prior engagement you mentioned, Roger…?

When I called out to him, he looked back at me in the empty hallway.

Roger: Did I make a mistake thinking you were in trouble?

You did that to help me? +4 +4

I was in a lot of trouble. +4 +4

You weren’t mistaken. +4 +4

Kate: You didn’t. Thank you.

Roger: You looked like a lost dog so I thought I did you an uncharacteristic favor.

(Dog? …No, I didn’t hear that right)

When I thanked him again, I saw a hint of scheming on his face.

Roger: By the way, I didn’t say I did it for free, did I? You’re gonna have to pay me back for saving you.

(Eh?)

Roger: I was thinking about going out drinking with Ellis and Jude. Join us.

Kate: Huh, now? Woah…Wait, Roger!

--

Roger: Phew~That hit the spot. The first drop of beer’s blood, you know.

Ellis: Heh, that’s what you always say.

Jude: Can’t believe he’s a doctor. Well he’s a quack.

(Before I knew it, I ended up getting dragged to a bar)

(It’s something I’ve noticed, but Roger can be a little…no, very pushy.)

Furthermore, it’s a wonder how Jude, who looked like the type to refuse an invitation, was sitting here with a sour look. 

Red-headed waiter: Here you are. Fish and chips, bramboraky(?)**, and…

Jude: Just how much did ya order? Ya ate a lot at the get-together.

Roger: I never have my fill when picking at those small fancy food.

Ellis: Are you full, Jude? I can still eat.

Jude: You’re still a growin’ kid.

The trio act like close friends…

Kate: Heh, hehe…

I couldn’t help but laugh and Roger squinted at me with a beer in hand.

Roger: The heck, so you can laugh like that after all.

Kate: Huh?

Roger: You know you haven’t laughed since you became Fairytale Keeper?

(What…what? But he’s right, this whole week, I haven’t…)

Roger: You don’t eat much and when you do, it’s like you’re chewing sand. Maybe you did…Or I should say, maybe you didn’t notice yourself?

(Tasked to keep a secret for a whole month as a Fairytale Keeper, and to record the evils before my eyes)

(Not to mention…Vogel’s sudden visit)

Desperate to just push through it all, I gradually neglected the things needed to live, like eating and laughing.

I was like a plant slowly wilting away.

Roger: I know you got a lot of things on your mind that make you anxious. But it’s times like these where you gotta work on yourself. Eat, sleep, play, laugh, recharge your energy. Otherwise you’ll easily get swallowed up by despair in this darkness, lil’ lady.

Kate: …

Roger’s words pierced my heart.

(He’s right…What was I so weak for?)

I could struggle all I wanted, but the anxiety would never leave until I’m safely out of this darkness.

I know that…but.

(The only one who can truly protect me, is me)

(I absolutely cannot give in)

Kate: …You’re right. There’s no time for weakness or despair. Thank you Roger. Now then, time to dig in!

As if to get over it…I stuck my fork into the steaming meat before me and brought it to my mouth.

Kate: Mm…delicious.

(...Somehow, it felt like I was properly enjoying food for the first time in a while)

(It’s so good to be alive and have delicious food)

Roger: …

Jude: Oi, who do ya think you are takin’ the first bite.

Kate: Ah, sorry! I got ahead of myself.

Ellis: Don’t worry about it Kate. Here, try these chips with rock salt.

Kate: Wow, this is really good! It pairs well with alcohol.

Roger: Oh, you drink pretty well. Barkeep! Two more beers.

Barkeep: Gotcha. Two large beers comin’ right up.

The golden beer and the food were delicious, and laughter reached my ears.

(...Ah, this is fun. I feel like I’m finally able to breathe)

(He pretty much dragged me here, but I’m glad I accepted Roger’s invitation)

I didn’t know how much of Roger’s actions were calculated and how much was in good faith.

But it’s a fact that his pushiness saved me.

(Roger really does have a lot of common sense and is like a mature older brother)

With those simple thoughts in mind, I continued on drinking and drinking…

--

—I woke up in a soft bed.

(Huh…last night I was drinking at the bar, and)

While in my drowsy and lethargic state, I groped around for a warm cloth when—

Kate: Hm…? …??

(...I’m naked?!)

I quickly wrapped myself up in a blanket with only my face peeking out.

…And noticed something familiar laying by my pillow.

(...Glasses?)

The black-rim and intellectual-looking frame was definitely memorable.

(These glasses…)

The moment I nervously picked them up, the bed squeaked— 

Roger: Hey now, those glasses aren’t a toy…Come on, give it here.

When the glasses were snatched out of my hand, I looked up to see a half-dressed Roger hovering over me.

Kate: …W-why are you here…

When I looked at him, he smiled as if to tell me the question was pointless now.

Roger: You passed out drunk so I had to carry you back. And after dropping you off, you wouldn’t let me go.

Whether it was true or not, the way he said it made it sound like I was pleading for him and my cheeks warmed.

(I-I held Roger back?)

(And…moreover)

My eyes took in his muscular chest and abs that were freely on display.

(T-too much stimulation…)

(I don’t know where to look)

Not just his bare chest.

Muscular arms peeking out from his shirt, broad shoulders that connected to a thick neck, and a lean waist.

(But, he was like beautiful sculpture)

My eyes unconsciously traced the supple skin.

His muscular body disguised his intelligent features and that gap alone was enough to make me dizzy.

Roger: …It’s not bad being ogled like this.

Kate: Eh?!

Roger gave me the wickedest of grins.

I’d been unconsciously staring at his body and my cheeks burned in embarrassment.

Kate: S-sorry…

Roger: Don’t worry about it. You’re a lot cuter than you were yesterday.

Kate: Did I…end up doing something yesterday?

Roger: “Something”.

Roger lowered himself and whispered to me.

Roger: …Yeah, last night was pretty hot, wasn’t it lil’ lady?

(N-no way…Me and Roger?)

-

*Darius says red riding hood but the subtitle says robin

**Send help. I have no idea what the heck バンブリーキ is. Perhaps bramboraky according to @/hoerayner

[targaryenluvs]

ok ok but imagine dark!gimmick somehow falls in love with capitol!reader (a client of his) but she doesn’t want him unless she’s paying for him or wanna love him back so he does everything in his power to have her, threatens to share the secrets she told him that will probably have her hanged and so with that they live happily ever after 😆

UNREQUITED

pairing: dark!finnick odair x fem!capitol!reader

summary: you’d divulged one to many secrets to your favourite victor and he wasn’t afraid of using them against you. karmas a bitch!

warning: blackmail, prostitution mentions/insinuations, nc sex and pillowtalk??

a/n: bros getting revenge or som

the first time you saw him you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. you’d heard of people being able to visit victors away from prying eyes and the idea seemed boring until you remembered he existed. so why not take advantage of your station?

finnick was hoping for one night of reprieve but of course, he had someone to visit.

the card in his hand felt heavy and as he unlocked the room he stopped in his tracks. you were sitting on the bed with a flute of champagne in your hands. you were gorgeous, and for once he felt okay with it.

“finnick?” your voice was like music to his ears as he came closer. he nodded and you pressed your lips into a tight line, “it’s nice to meet you.” nice to meet you? are you stupid? god you had no clue what to say since you were literally forcing this man to be with you.

“so.” he laughed, “so.” he took the flute away from you before getting you standing, “where do you want me sweetheart?” you smiled.

and all the previous tension faded away throughout the night, finnick was amazing.

it had been months since your first time together and you’d only grown more comfortable with eachother. you liked him, he was nice. and he was obsessed with you. every time he saw you he knew what would be happening the following night and he could hardly wait. with you he took his time and focused on you the whole time, he loved trying new things with you, making you scream.

and afterwards you’d sit and cuddle, and at times even kiss. he was a nice stress relief for you, he always listened to your concerns and problems. your arranged boyfriend, the politician, and his like for younger men. his affinity for dipping his hand into the company savings, even though you were well off. your brothers and their mistresses, your parents and their expectations.

finnick listened intently, gave advice and was actually helpful. you were grateful to be able to get it off his chest. but finnick wasn’t going to let you go.

“i think we’re getting engaged soon.” finnick shut his eyes to calm himself down, it didn’t work. “no you’re not honey.” you cocked your head to his side, “what do you mean?” he smiled and it was so fake, “you’re meant to be with me, y/n. and you will be with me. do you know how much you’ve told me? about him, your friends and family?”

your eyes widened as you got up, covering yourself with the sheet. “i’ve already seen you, all of you there’s no reason to hide.” he pulled the sheet away as you covered yourself with your arms, “i’ve had enough of you finnick. get. out.” you enunciated before crawling away. he grabbed your ankle and pulled you back to him.

“i told you you’re not going anywhere. do you want me to let it all out? let everyone know every, single, dirty secret y/n?” your eyes welled up as you threw your head to the side, not wanting to look at him, “please finnick, just let me go.” you felt his chest vibrate as he chuckled. his fingers dug into your face, forcing you to look at him.

“say you’re mine and i’ll let them go.” you shook your head, thrashing against him to get away. his other hand bruised your hip with an iron grip. “fine!” his smile was sickly sweet as he began to kiss his way down, on the insides of your thighs as his strong hands held you down whilst you began to buck your hips up. “please finnick.” he looked up at you from between your legs and grinned.

“now you’re not so bossy huh?”

he had what he wanted and you were sure he wouldn’t let you go.

[yoificfinder]

Hello!!

I would just like to ask for Royalty au for viktuuri please and thank you! ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

every calculation falls silent by @thehobbem [T, 29K]

With an engagement arranged behind his back, Emperor Victor only wishes to have one last day for himself as a free man.

But the last thing he will be is free, once he meets someone who seems to have the exact same plans, and perhaps motivations, for today.

In Fire, In Whispers by @voxofthevoid [M, 12K]

“What do you think he meant by friendly stabbing?” Viktor asks, deceptively casual as he winds a lock of his hair around his finger.

“Sparring, probably.”

“Ah,” Viktor sighs, his disappointment loud and theatrical. “And here I thought he meant the other kind.”

Yuuri feels himself heat to the roots of his hair.

“Not here,” he snaps, hands clenching at his sides.

Viktor’s eyes sharpen, the veneer of pleasantness finally leaving his face.

“My mistake,” he says, his smile thin and icy. “You seem tired, Prince Yuuri. Let me escort you to your bedchambers.”

~

In which Viktor and Yuuri are the princes of warring kingdoms but manage to fall in love anyway.

My Love, We Deserve the Softest Eternity series by @japansace [G to E, 88K]

"A baby," Yakov gripes. "Not even a thousand yet, and he thinks he's in love!"

My Name on Your Lips by @feels-like-fire [E, 108K]

Yuuri Katsuki has been betrothed to the High King's son, Victor, since he was just a child; furthermore, as an omega, he's forbidden from practicing magic in combat. For years, he's been able to put off the former because the Prince was traveling abroad, and gotten around the latter by practicing with his mentor in secret.

Now Victor Nikiforov has finally returned home, and Yuuri is being summoned to the capital for their wedding. He needs a plan to put off marriage long enough to find a way to break the betrothal, while keeping his practicing from being discovered.

If only the Prince didn't have other ideas.

(Or, the swords-and-sorcery arranged marriage AU. Updates weekly.)

On Your Every Word by @stammiviktor [M, 71K]

It starts, as most things do, with an extravagant banquet.

"Dance with me?"

He’s holding out his hand. It’s an offering, an invitation, and a dare all in one.

The onlookers part and a blinding smile graces the dancer’s lips.

“Of course, Your Highness.”

(A Royalty AU, with a twist)

The Phoenix Lives by velvetcadence [E, 5K]

Prince Yuuri has banished yokai from the world. Now home from his travels, he must navigate another adventure: his arranged marriage to Prince Viktor Nikiforov.

But Prince Viktor is hiding a secret, one that may upset the fragile state of their marriage.

Please Leave a Light On When You Go by adjit [T, 19K]

Everyone knows tales of princesses trapped in towers and guarded by evil dragons, but, actually…

Yuuri is here by choice, thank you very much, and Phichit is quite a nice dragon, all things considered. It’s just that the knights who keep trying to rescue him don’t seem to be getting the memo.

And then there’s Sir Nikiforov, just another knight like the rest, except that he’s not. Because after he realizes that Yuuri is not, in fact, in need of rescuing, he drops it. And stranger still, he decides to stay.

the promise i'll make series by lily_winterwood @omgkatsudonplease [M and E, 102K]

When Crown Prince Yuuri of Japan escapes his army of minders at his Saint Petersburg hotel, he thinks he’s found the opportunity to explore the city as a commoner. When investigative journalist Viktor Nikiforov discovers the Crown Prince of Japan on a park bench in Saint Petersburg, he thinks that he’s found his ticket to redemption at the magazine he writes for. But like the stories of those stranded during the White Nights after the bridges go up, neither of them had anticipated falling in love. (Roman Holiday AU)

Roses of May by @cuttlemefishwrites [E, 47K] *WIP

At age five, all children are assessed for talent and beauty in the City of Hasetsu and the other eight cities of the Empire. Every year, five are branded with the mark of a rose before being carded off to the Emperor’s palace where they are trained to become Roses, or sacrifices to be sent every May to the Ice Spirit that lives in the castle at the top of the mountain. Roses never return, except for Katsuki Yuuri, who shocks the Empire when he appears again two years after his departure with a silver crown on his head and a blond baby in his arms, demanding the Emperor step down or face the wrath of his husband, the Ice King. But, not everything is what it seems.

The Dragon Prince and the Winter Swan by @sophia-helix [E, 121K]

Yuuri Stark is a noble son of the north, returning to Winterfell in disgrace after the latest disappointment in his checkered tourney career. He hasn't given up his dream of becoming a knight, but maybe it's time to find himself a new path, settling down at home.

Prince Victor Targaryen is the greatest swordsman in Westeros, but he no longer finds joy in competition. Things are uneasy in King's Landing, where politics are shifting and dangerous, and he seizes the chance to escape north in search of the young man who came so close to beating him in a tourney last year — and was so beguiling at the banquet afterwards.

Together they begin a journey to the great tourney of Harrenhal, with intrigue, honor, friendship and love along the way...and inevitable political conflict ahead.

(A Game of Thrones fusion with 90% less grimdark)

Technically Arranged by @ajwolf84 [E, 78K] *WIP

Yuuri is a tech genius working in Silicon Valley, but he never would have gotten this far if not for the support of the Russian Royal family who offered him a full scholarship to the elite Rostelecom Academy and have been supporting his education ever since. Of course, this help didn’t come for free. He’s now considered a member of the Royal family, which isn’t so bad, other than the inordinate number of weddings he has to attend. There’s also the small stipulation that he is technically a candidate to become the Prince’s consort, but that’ll never happen…

The Tsesarevich Lives by mothedestiel [E, 50K]

An Anastasia AU. Victor is an orphan with no name, no family, and no memory of a time before he was ten years old. Could he really be the missing Nikiforov heir? An adventure across Europe with two conmen will lead him to the answer.

The Vastness of Space by @shysweetthing [E, 17K]

As chief communications officer on board the Interstellar Alliance Fleet’s Star Ship Victory, Yuuri doesn’t have to think about who he actually is on his home planet. He just has to listen to his captain, do his job, and…not fall in love with his best friend, the ship’s science officer, Victor Nikiforov.

Well. Two out of three’s not bad.

Then his mother calls with the worst possible news: She, the Empress of New Nihon, has arranged Yuuri’s marriage.

There’s only one thing Yuuri can do: Fake a boyfriend, and fake one fast. Who better/worse to play that role than the friend he wishes was more? What can go wrong? It’s not like Yuuri can fall more in love...

With Two Hands by whatsup_buttercup [E, 28K]

“Do you think he’ll let you get a picture with him?” Phichit’s voice comes through distorted by the long chain of communications systems and the great distance between them.

“I imagine some official photos might be taken,” Yuuri offers.

“You should try to work ‘I became a translator because of you!’ into conversation. You know, casually.”

Yuuri takes a large sip from his mug of tea, refusing to be baited. “We’ll see.”

Yuuri Enchanted by the__magpie / @wecalleverythinglove [T, 58K]

At birth, Yuuri Katsuki was given the gift of obedience, although he quickly learns as he grows up that it is a curse. He has to obey any command given to him, even if it puts him or others in danger. Too afraid to face the terrifying outside world, Yuuri stays in his home town of Hasetsu, until a chance encounter with Prince Victor urges him to venture outside of his safe bubble. Determined to break his curse, Yuuri begins on an adventure involving fairies, ogres, true love, and courage he never knew he had.

-----

Other people's rec:

Equivalent Exchange by writingfromtheshadows

The Nature of Things by Zombubble

Thanks for the rec, @tanouska, @kittygoeswoof90! 💙

[thelittlestladylikesthis]

The Pink Rose, part 1

*GIF creator unknown

Part One- July 4th, 74 ADD Pairing: Haymitch Abernathy x reader

Word Count: 2,462

Warnings: 18+, fluff and smut, nightmares, witnessed death, implication of death, alcoholism, unprotected sex, sex after drinking, age gap, heterosexual relationship

**** Almost all characters and parts of the storyline are not my original creation and are credited to Suzanne Collins. And please be nice… I’ve never written fanfic or spicy things before- we’re starting vanilla. I will mark where the 18+ part starts and ends.

The cold night air smelled like fire and salt. The arena for the 61st Hunger Games was set up like a quarry next to the sea. [Y/n] was the 15-year-old tribute from District 12. Taking advantage of the low light and tall grass, the only other tributes were in her line of sight and fighting to the death. Spruce Silentsong - District 7 - and Millie Forge - District 2, were engaged in battle and had no idea [Y/n] was watching. Spruce was armed with two hand axes, which served her well-being from the lumber district. Millie had a sword in one hand and a mace in the other. The sword had once been in [Y/n]’s possession, but when Millie and the other careers descended on the District 9, 11, and 12 alliance, [Y/n] was the only one who made it out; without her weapon.

The gurgle of someone choking on blood sounded, followed by the thud of a falling body. [Y/n] thought Spruce must have hesitated. She’d scored high in the assessment, but Millie thirsted for blood. The gong sounded, marking the death of another tribute. 22 down, 1 to go. [Y/n] was still about 12 yards from Millie, but she knew she needed to act while Millie caught her second wind. She looked down to double-check how many throwing knives she had. [Y/n] looked away for half a second and her face rose to lock eyes with a piercing blue set, inches from her face. [Y/n] screamed.

She thrashed for a moment before realizing she was in her bed. She’d left the arena 13 years ago, but the nightmares stuck around. [Y/n] breathed heavily as she sat up and wiped the cold sweat from her forehead. Feeling the sheets next to her, she noticed they were cold and suddenly became aware of the early morning light streaming through the cracks in the curtains, highlighting the dust in the air.

Making her way downstairs, the familiar smell of hard liquor hit her nose. It’s too early for this- she thought as she scanned the room for her neighbor. Haymitch Abernathy was the only other living District 12 Victor. He’d won 11 years before her, and the last Victor from 12 was decades before him- it was just them to understand each other in their whole district. It was just them in Victor’s Village. Haymitch and [Y/n] had both lost their families due to their young defiance of President Snow and the Capitol. It wasn’t uncommon for one of them to stay at the other’s house in the month leading up to the Reaping. The closer the games got, the more frequent their demons seemed to visit. It was easier to help if they were under the same roof. In the last 2 years, they had taken to sleeping next to each other for comfort. Despite Haymitch’s frequent drunken stupor, they had developed a friendship built on sarcasm, life experience, and a unique outlook on the world that only a Hunger Games Victor could have. About 6 years of friendship later, the relationship turned platonic. This would seem odd to someone outside the relationship, but it was no bother to them. In his moments of being nearly sober, Haymitch was quite charming and a kind man with a sense of humor.

In the last two years, [Y/n] noticed that of all the people she interacted with in District 12, Haymitch was the one who could make her feel happy. He irritated the hell out of her sometimes, but she couldn’t deny that she had fallen for him. She didn’t expect him to return the feelings; people might not like the age gap and think her former mentor had taken advantage of her. Haymitch might be a good friend, but he may also be disgusted at the thought of any romance with someone he’d known since she was a teenager.

She stopped in the living room and found Haymitch asleep in the armchair with a bottle in one hand and what looked to be his shirt in the other. [Y/n] knew better than to get too close when waking up someone who’d been drinking. She stood a few feet away and threw a small couch cushion at him. Haymitch jumped and yelled at the sudden contact. “Dammit [Y/n]- what the hell are you doing?” he shouted after realizing where he was.

“Demons paid me a visit- do you have enough to share?” she nodded to the bottle that was still in Haymitch’s hand.

“Oh,” he faltered, “Help yourself, sweetheart,” She took a long swig before Haymitch reacted, “That bad, huh?”

“Don’t act like we don’t have the same dreams,” she pointed before taking another gulp.

The liquid had a comforting warmth as it ran down her throat but it still burned and created the feeling of stinging in her nostrils. The bittersweet feeling of downing alcohol was enough to take her mind off the Hunger Games. The more she drank, the more she understood why Haymitch kept himself in this state.

After almost an hour, [Y/n] could feel the heat in her cheeks and the chaotic feelings from earlier were almost gone. The dullness of her senses and her subdued anxiety were a treat. She looked over and noticed Haymitch was starting to nod off.

“Hey! Don’t leave me alone,” She said loud enough to bring Haymitch back.

Haymitch sighed, “What do you need sweetheart? You know I’m not the best company after drinking,”

Neither am I, she thought, “Hold me?” she suggested.

Haymitch stared at her before nodding his head and waving her over. [Y/n] climbed into his lap- he was larger than she was; this allowed him to envelope her in his arms with ease. She nuzzled her face into his chest. She could feel the old scars across his abdomen and tried not to think about when he got them. She was almost 5 during his games, but she remembered the vivid sight. Haymitch could feel [Y/n]’s slow, quiet tears run down his chest and he gave her a slight squeeze. Within half an hour, the inebriated duo was asleep.

Haymitch woke up, still mildly intoxicated, but much closer to sobriety than he was normally comfortable with. It was the day of the Reaping for the 74th Hunger Games. He heard the small woman in his lap begin to stir. She looked up at him with her deep [y/e/c] eyes and smiled. This girl- no- this woman was the closest thing he had to a family. He was the town drunk. He had business associates and people who tolerated him. Haymitch was a grown man, he never looked twice at the tributes or considered them family, much less friends. He’d hugged [Y/n] before, but this was different. For the first time in 24 years, Haymitch thought, What if she loved me?

He shook the thought from his head and felt disgusted with himself- she was so much younger than him and he didn’t want to ruin what they had spent the last 13 years building. When they met, he was already 27 and she was 15. The thought that they could be happy together would have been inappropriate then and it should be now. Right? Haymitch thought to himself that just because she was 28 and old enough to make her own decisions, that did not make a shift to intimacy okay. [Y/n] continued to smile at him; it had been a long time since anyone was happy to see him. He knew he irritated [Y/n], but she was never genuinely angry with him and still acknowledged him with kindness. They had developed some kind of relationship that was more than friends, but he couldn’t quite figure it out.

“Did you sleep alright this time, sweetheart?” he asked.

[Y/n] gave a soft chuckle, “I did- and it seems you did too,”

“What’s so funny?”

[Y/n] gave a little wiggle of her hips to emphasize that Haymitch had an erection and it was pressed right against her rear.

He gave a startled little jump and had a look of horror on his face, “I’m sorry-”

[Y/n] stopped him from getting up, “It’s okay, I don’t mind” She looked up at him through her eyelashes.

Haymitch raised an eyebrow and cocked his head to the side “Are you still drunk?”

[Y/n] laughed and quickly swung one leg over him so she was straddling him and he was situated right in front of her. He was so erect that he pressed against her stomach.

“No,” she leaned in and tickled his ear with a whisper, “But I’m quite wet,”

He gulped and tried to control his breathing. She was trying to… seduce him? But he’d been her mentor. But she was suggesting it. But he’d known her since she was 15. But she started this exchange. Conflicting thoughts raced through his mind. [y/n] saw the look on his face that was a mixture of shock and confusion- not someone who was willing to continue.

She turned her face away from him, “I’m sorry- I get it if I overstepped the boundary… I didn’t even ask,” she moved to get off him, but Haymitch grabbed her waist and told her to wait.

“[Y/n]- sweetheart- you’re beautiful and I’m not calming down,” he nodded down towards his erection, “But I’m not a good person. You deserve someone better- someone who won’t make you look bad in public. Not some drunk who takes advantage of a younger woman,”

[Y/n] didn’t know he felt this way. She grabbed his chin and demanded he look into her eyes.

“Haymitch Abernathy- I don’t deserve anything less than the man who is my greatest source of comfort, my biggest ally, my closest friend, and the person who currently has his cock in my lap,”

Haymitch was startled at her direct statement- he didn’t know she felt that way. He cupped her face with one hand and slightly tightened his grip on her waist. [Y/n] was more developed than most women in District 12. Haymitch couldn’t deny that he’d noticed her defined hourglass figure before, but who hadn’t?

“Kiss me” [Y/n] demanded quietly.

Haymitch nodded slowly, hesitated, and pressed his lips to hers. They started slow, and then [Y/n] traced his lips with her tongue. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gradually became less gentle in how she kissed him. She felt herself getting more excited and began to move her hips back and forth. Haymitch let out a deep sigh at the feeling of her against him. He ran his rough hands up her torso and his thumbs over her hard nipples. Her soft breasts filled his hands perfectly and felt so good as he cupped them. [Y/n] pulled her face away and swiftly removed her nightshirt. She hadn’t worn pants to bed so she now sat on top of him in her panties. She pulled his face back to hers in the neediest way she could muster.

“Haymitch, I need you,”

“You have me,”

“I need you inside me,” she clarified.

Haymitch’s eyes widened as he paused, but he wasted no time lifting her off his lap to rip off his pants. [Y/n] used this moment to remove her underwear as she noticed he didn’t have any either. They stood there naked for less than a second before Haymitch guided her a few feet over to the sofa. She lay down and Haymitch crawled on top of her. He reached between her legs and ran his thumb in soft slow circles as he made eye contact and used his other hand to line up his aching length with her entrance.

“Are you sure you want this?” He asked hesitantly

[Y/n] nodded.

“You have to say it,” he said seriously.

“Yes Haymitch, I want you- are you comfortable with this?” she asked.

“Yes,” he didn’t even hesitate; he hoped he wasn’t coming off as desperate- but that look she gave him was enough encouragement. Haymitch’s eyes turned dark as he slowly slipped into her. [Y/n] gasped as he pushed the rest of his length inside her soaking wet entrance. Haymitch was a little longer than average, but his girth filled her up as he thrust into her. He slowly picked up his pace- [Y/n] leaned her head back and moaned. Her plump lips made the perfect “O” shape before she said his name.

To see the way she reacted to his touch and hear how she moaned his name, Haymitch didn’t want this to stop- but he could feel the blood flowing and the heightened emotions. He didn’t want to be the first one to finish. He started to slow down and [Y/n] gave him a look of confusion. He cupped her cheek, removed himself from her body, and slid down making his face even with hips. [Y/n] looked down at Haymitch and smiled mischievously, biting her lip. Haymitch hooked his arms under her thighs so her knees were over his shoulders. He smiled up at her and then plunged his tongue into her folds. [Y/n] felt the jolt of electricity from the contact with her clit. Her hips bucked closer to his face and her head fell back.

“Oh my days, Haymitch,” she whined.

“How do you want it sweetheart?” he said with his mouth still against her.

[Y/n] smirked, turned around, and said, “Just fuck me, Haymitch,”

He quickly stood up and bent her over. She was so wet that it was much easier to dive his whole length inside her. Making her moan his name more, Haymitch gave it his all with quick hard thrusts. In the back of his mind, he prayed that this felt as good for her as it did for him.

Feeling her whole body tense up, [Y/n] groaned through gritted teeth, “Fuck, I’m cumming!”

Haymitch was almost there too, “Yes, beautiful, cum on this cock,”

Suddenly the door flew open, “Haymitch you better not - AHH!!” Effie Trinket covered her eyes and ran out of the room with an impressive speed for someone wearing heels that high.

Haymitch and [Y/n] froze how they were. Still inside her, Haymitch said, “Well that’s an experience I never thought I’d have,”

[Y/n] looked over her shoulder and asked, “What? Fucking me or getting caught doing it?”

Haymitch sighed, “Cumming at the moment I got caught by her,”

They both laughed as Haymitch stood up and walked over to the kitchen to get a towel. They needed to clean up and clear the air with Effie.

Masterlist

[anotherhumaninthisworld]

i'd like to know how bi (bisexual or biromantic) paul barras could be said to be.

The best evidence of Barras being attracted to men I’ve found in the hostile pamphlet Les Brigands démasqués, ou Mémoires pour servir à l'histoire du temps présent, etc (1796) by Auguste Danican. On page 103 of said pamphlet we can read the following:

[Before the revolution] Barras, finding himself without resources, joined all the Greeks, and was himself an excellent Greek (although he understood neither Homer nor Lucian). He was seen a lot at the Hôtel d'Anglais, the usual meeting place for a crowd of swindlers; he lived modestly on a fourth floor, rue Champ-Fleury; went from time to time to core two imperial écus, and found himself in terrible distress.

The work Sodome à Paris: protohistoire de l’homosexualité masculine fin XVIIIe - milieu XIXe siècle (2009) by Thierry Pastorello, besides bringing up Danican, also mentions that ”Talleyrand tells the story of the drowning of Raymond Valz on July 15 1797, Raymond was Barras’ young lover. Raymond drowned himself under the eyes of Barras who would have shown signs of pain so big that one said he had just lost his mistress.” However, checking what Talleyrand actually writes about this incident in his memoirs, at least I have a hard time reading this as evidence Barras was romantically attracted to Valz, nor can I find the exact formulation that Barras mourned him like a mistress:

Whilst I was engaged in reading I don’t recollect what work, two young men came in to ascertain the time by the drawing-room clock, and seeing that it was only half-past three, they said to each other: ”We have to go for a swim.” They had not been gone twenty minutes, when one of them returned asking for help; I ran, with all the persons of the house, to the riverside. Facing the garden, between the high road and the island, the Seine forms a kind of whirlpool in which one of the young men had disappeared. The watermen of the neighbourhood soon rowed to the spot, and two of them most courageously dived to the bottom. However, with all the efforts they made to save the unfortunate fellow proved vain. I went back to the house. The corpse of the young man was only found the next day caught in weeds, at a spot distant more than six hundred yards from the place where he disappeared. The drowned was named Raymond, Lodève was his birthplace. Barras was very fond of him; he had brought him up and, since he had been appointed a Director, he had made him his aide-de-champ. I was alone in the drawing-room, not knowing exactly what to do. Who was to tell Barras the misfortune that had just befallen him? I had never seen the Director. My position was really unpleasant. A carriage drove up. On opening the door, the gardener said: ”M. Raymond has just been drowned, yes Citizen Director, he has just been drowned.” Barras crossed the front yard, and rushed upstairs to his room, crying out aloud. After waiting some little time, one of his servants told him I was in the drawing-room. He sent word to excuse his not coming down, and requesting me to sit down to dinner at once. The secretary who accompanied him remained upstairs. Thus, I was alone at Barras’ table. A quarter of an hour having elapsed, a servant came to request me to go up to the Director’s room. I felt thankful for his supposing that, under the circumstances, the dinner served to me could have no attraction. I felt quite upset. As I entered his room, he took hold of both my hands and embraced me; he was weeping.

Pastorello’s work also brings up historian Oliver Blanc, who in L’amour à Paris au temps de Louis XVI(2002) apparently notes ”that in 1793, Barras, finding himself in Draguignan, meets a young barber that he finds to his liking, Victor Grand.” Here we can again return to the original source, which is Barras’ memoirs (though do enlighten me if there’s more info on Grand and Valz) and see what he writes about, as he calls him, his aide-de-camp. This is the only interaction described between them that I’ve been able to find:

[After escaping from prison] Victor Grand came in haste to throw his arms about me; it was with pleasure that I once more beheld this young man, who had already won my entire confidence, and was one of the few who never ceased to be worthy of it. 

Other than that, Pastorello only cites more historians that claim Barras was attracted to men — Michel Larivière who in Homosexuels et bisexuels célèbres (1997) ”notes that Barras has the reputation of loving boys,” Michel Missofile who in Le cœur secret de Talleyrand (1956) notes ”that Barras lived in absence of any female presence with his man of trust François Roland, his piqueur Louis Copillon and his aide-de-camp Raymond Valz” and claims he was ”this seducer without a mistress, this husband without a home.” On Barras’ wikipedia we can also read that historian Jacques-Olivier Boudon apparently qualifies Barras as ”one of the best-known homosexuals of the time” whose “interest in young men was common knowledge at the time” in his Le sexe sous l'Empire (2019). I don’t have access to any of these books, so I unfortunately can’t check if these people use any more primary sources to argue their case.

In this post @tierseta does however bring attention to a part in Fouché’s memoirs, where he writes Barras had both ”courtiers (a masculine word) and mistresses”:

The exaggerated disparagement of his behavior and moral principles was precisely what attracted to him a court of swarming schemers (intrigants et intrigantes) and vampires. He was then in rivalry with Carnot, and maintained a favorable public opinion only by the idea that, if need be, he would be seen on horseback, defying, as on the 13th of Vendémiaire, any hostile attempt; as a matter of fact, he contrasted with [his image of] the Prince of the Republic, occasionally going hunting, having trained dog packs, courtiers and mistresses.

Finally, according to this anon, Barras had sex with and raped both women and men but only felt affection towards the latter group, and also got raped by his father on several occasions as a child. As the best source for this is given Barras’ biographer Henry Monteagle, whose work unfortunately has never gotten published and is extremely hard to obtain, but Barras apparently also talks about his attraction to men and abuse committed by his father in his memoirs. I have to admit I failed to find anything when searching for the word ”father” in the version of the memoirs linked within the post, and I don’t have time to read the entire memoirs to check if he says anything about his relation to other men in them (and I’m probably not the best person to do either since I’m pretty bad at reading subtext), but there might be something in there…

[onesidedradiostatic]

Personally I think they're both huffing a bit of copium about one another (Vox and Alastor) but Alastor is better at hiding it/maintaing his cool. We know that at least Valentino feels confident enough to goad Vox into taking the bait, that Alastor "almost" beat him last time. It's an interesting attitude compared to Vox's. Even Velvette doesn't seem all that concerned with Alastor, both her and Valentino are confident in the Vees current status and it's only Vox's personal insecurities that prevent him from sharing that mindset.

Vox's medium IS the victor in the grand scheme of things, he (along with the other Vees) ARE more relevant than Alastor/radio. And Vox is also capable of upgrading/improving himself over time in a way Alastor (from what we've seen) is not. It's so interesting seeing Vox unable to fully realize his strength/power - he can say it all he wants, but I don't think he really believes it. We the audience, however, know that visual media is king... case in point we are watching this series as a show on screens. Vox's hypnotism and electric powers are also pretty OP, he's got a good deck of cards (even though we haven't seen the full extent of how he can really leverage these yet).

And let's not forget Alasor BOOKED IT across town to get back at Vox during Stayed Gone. I think Alasor is (and should be) somewhat nervous (maybe "cautiously aware" is a better term) about the influence Vox and the Vees have regarding the future of media. He doesn't crack easily, as we've seen, but he cares enough to engage with Vox which he doesn't bother doing with outright "lessers".

In this way the dynamic is more even (in my opinion) than many give it credit for, which I personally prefer, but to each their own... for me, if it's not more equally matched, I struggle to see how the Vees will be worthwhile antagonists in the next season and that would be such a shame for characters that have so much potential. I just love the Vees!

(prev ask)

ehh I mean I do feel that they are on more equal level than some of the fandom may make them out to be but I still don't feel like they're exactly on the same level. like every time I see takes about mutual stuff between them I still can't fully agree cause to me, it's still on some level imbalanced. I do think they are of roughly equal power yes, but I think alastor being able to keep his cool is in fact a point towards him having the upperhand. it's the fact that vox is literally incapable of keeping his cool when it comes to alastor that spells more of his weakness when it comes to him I think. but yeah I mean how the vees, or rather vox will be a proper antagonist when he's so easily defeated by alastor is what I've been asking for a while LMAO.

and the thing is, we've seen instances like alastor being somewhat scared when zestial pops up, his mask slipping when starting stupid beef with lucifer (his eye is literally twitching the moment lucifer steps into the hotel LMAO), and of course with his fight with adam. we don't see any of that when it comes to the vees/vox, alastor waves them off as "nobody important" when niffty asks, easily tramples vox in stayed gone (and yes, he did immediately go back to his radio tower to bite back, but I don't think that's necessarily out of fear, could've easily just been he saw he was being insulted on live tv and HAD to bite back because he's a petty bitch), and gloated to him about having to "try harder than that" after failing to spy on him.

in my view, he doesn't see the vees or vox as a serious threat. HOWEVER, I do think that could easily be a point against alastor. his cockiness and not taking them seriously could very well come bite him in the back (JUUUUST like with adam!)

but when it comes to his current season 1 dynamic with vox, I do think he has the upperhand because of their different attitudes. if vox was able to keep his cool like alastor he wouldn't have caused a city-wide blackout over stayed gone LMAO. they're definitely more leveled power-wise though I think, the difference comes in their attitudes. if vox won the idgaf war a bit more they'd be more leveled, but he has chosen to obsess over him 24/7 so here we are.

[checkoutmybookshelf]

I've been sitting on this since Bridgerton Season 3 ended, to really consider it and what I think. And the TLDR is that the actors across the board, but particularly Nicola Coughlan, Luke Newton, Hannah Dodd, and Victor Alli, knocked it out of the park. Fabulous performances. But the structural and narrative arc writing from the Bridgerton writer's room (particularly in terms of cul de sacs and blatant contradictions and everything about Lady Whistledown--but not the switch from Michael to Michaela Stirling; I'm actually intrigued to see where they're going with that) was absolutely appalling. More below the break for anyone who wants to keep reading.

So...the writing on Season 3. I'm going to start with where I think Michaela Stirling might go, and why I think they can actually make this storyline queer while still engaging with the infertility storyline that so many people connected with in the book. There is every possibility that Francesca will decide that she both wants to be with Michaela and wants to be a mother--but Regency England doesn't have IVF, so we could theoretically keep John alive, and have Francesca be really honest with him and Michaela and come to an agreement where she and Michaela get to have a relationship, and John will agree to help Frannie get pregnant because he needs an heir. Honestly, we could have a really interesting relationship between Frannie, Michaela, and John here where everyone is here for their own specific reasons AND because they care for each other. We could Iron Widow this, people!!! Frannie can still deal with infertility and how that affects her relationships with both John and Michaela, and we still get the effects of grief and infertility on relationships.

Alternatively, we can still have John unceremoniously drop dead (this is not my preferred choice, but like...the book exists), and have Frannie lose her pregnancy. If the miscarriage is secret, Frannie could try to get pregnant again (I bet Michaela knows people) and have a series of quick miscarriages before they couldn't hide the fact that John wasn't the father anymore. This is a less strong writing choice, but it could still be an exploration of grief and infertility. So overall, I think there is an argument to be made for making this storyline queer, and I'm interested to see where it goes. I'm not hopeful that the current Bridgerton writer's room will handle this well, but like...I can see paths to go forward on without losing the themes that people resonated with from the book.

Now. We need to talk about the Lady Whistledown thing. Season 3 spent A LOT of time telling us that Lady Whistledown was a mistake and it was actively harmful and it ruined lives. And yeah, if you just watch Season 3, that sounds pretty damning and like it would be best for everyone that Lady Whistledown gets buried (or leashed by Queen Charlotte, which is what actually happens and I cannot TELL you how mad I was about that).

The problem with that is that I was here for Seasons 1 and 2. And I want the Bridgerton Season 3 writer's room to POINT TO THE LIVES THAT LADY WHISTLEDOWN ACTUALLY RUINED. Because everyone who was written about landed on their feet. Daphne avoided Nigel Berbrooke (and Violet wouldn't have been ABLE to get Daphne out from his thumb without Lady Whistledown to publish his philandering and terrible conduct. I stand by Nigel not being ruined and frankly deserving WORSE than having to run to the country). Marina was not in a good situation from minute 1 of the season for social reasons, not because of anything Lady Whistledown wrote. And here's the thing: Pen got backed into a corner on this one. She told Marina "Not Colin" (several times) and she tried to keep Marina's secret while telling Colin not to marry her. When the Whistledown outing Marina was published, Colin and Marina literally had suitcases in hand to run to Scotland. So yes, Pen stopped that marriage. But in the world of the show, Marina landed on her feet with her marriage to Sir Philip (see her "I am content" scenes in season 2), and Colin ended up happily with Penelope. So sure, Pen prevented a marriage that narratively was doomed from minute 1, but I don't think it's fair on any level to say that Lady Whistledown ruined Marina's life.

We can talk about Pen's motivations for outing Marina's pregnancy all we like (and I do think that was complicated, and a mix of selfish and selfless motivations. It's called being a complex character), but Marina's life was not ruined by Pen publishing that Lady Whistledown.

Possibly the most egregious example of Season 3 trying to reframe a Whistledown as the worst thing ever is when Penelope "ruined" Eloise in Season 2. Queen Charlotte had threatened Eloise and the ENTIRE Bridgerton family, and I think its fair enough to say that Eloise's best friend trying to take credit for Lady Whistledown given the royal threat wouldn't fly. Publishing Eloise's friendship with Theo pulled Eloise's and the Bridgerton's bacon out of the fire. And Eloise was FINE. She was at the next ball, wasn't unduly harassed there, and she came back the next season like nothing had happened. She was fine, and the family wasn't ruined BECAUSE that Lady Whistledown got published.

The interesting tension with Whistledown was when Pen was directly challenging the Queen. She was coming for the person who set the social norms and managed social attitudes in her level of society. That's FASCINATING, and Pen challenging the literal power that was directly and indirectly responsible for everyone being shitty to her and her family for two straight seasons is ENTIRELY valid and interesting. But then Season 3 happened.

Season 3 yelled with its whole chest that Penelope was bad and wrong and should be ashamed for saying mean things about people, and tweaked Queen Charlotte's brain so that that's what she cared about too, instead of caring that her authority was being publicly challenged. Like...I was here for seasons 1 and 2. Pen was deeply human in her motivations and deeply complex in what she did and did not publish. And season 3 flattened all of that to go "BE ASHAMED BECAUSE YOU SAID MEAN THINGS." I am always furious when nuance gets flattened, and this is a particularly egregious example of that. It tells us to think something that directly contradicts what the first two seasons showed us (which is shitty writing on two levels).

Then there was also the weird contradiction with the chess scene between Lady Danbury and Queen Charlotte and the outing of Lady Whistledown. The chess scene was like "Keep the game going, it's more fun that way," and I genuinely thought that meant that we wouldn't get a Whistledown reveal because the GAME is the cat-and-mouse relationship between the crown and the column. Then we get the butterfly ball scene where Penelope is like, "Hey, can I keep writing? You can watch over my shoulder and make sure that I only say nice things about people." Which is UTTERLY BAFFLING because that's not the game. That's literally ending the game. There is no game if the dynamic goes from "two independent actors act and react to each each other to negotiate society and social norms" to "Penelope promises to be nice and Queen Charlotte gets to decide if she's doing that." That's not a game, that's a probationary period. It's also directly contradictory from a writing perspective, and I really don't have patience for writers directly contradicting themselves.

And the writing issues are most of why Season 3 was a fail for me. The acting was amazing, the vibes of some scenes were incredible, but the basic writing and narrative structure was a mess.

[missheavenfield1215]

Have you noticed that Beetlejuice and The Corpse Bride have the same climax??

A dead person

Who wants to marry a living person

Although it was against the will of that living person

When I realized this... I couldn't stop drawing

Beetlejuice ~Corpse Bride AU~

*In this AU, everyone is an adult*

*All my drawings are below in this post*

In this AU, Lydia takes the role of Victor, Beetlejuice is Emily, Elder Gudnekt could be Otto, Adam and Barbara would be the Everglot couple (of course, here, they have no bad intentions).

Lydia and her father, Charles, come from the great city of London, to expand their funeral services franchise, in addition to having gone through another marriage.

Charles had Lydia's mother, Emily, who passed away when she was 8 years old. At work, Charles met Delia, who was suffering from a fatal illness, but never told Charles that she was sick. So 4 years after their wedding, Delia also passed away.

To forget his grief, Charles became obsessed with his work and abandoned Lydia in their grief (as she also got along well with her). Lydia doesn't want to get married and hates the idea of being trapped forever in a useless marriage, which will only take away her freedom. Although she thinks that marriage is just a contract, deep inside her, she really feels that if she falls in love, it will only bring her pain and sorrow, just like her father.

Beetlejuice, here called Lawrence Shaggoth, is the only son of the honorable aristocratic marriage Shaggoth. In his youth Lawrence had a preference for men, but despite that, Adam was one of his friends. But when the time came for Lawrence to marry a young woman that his own mother raised so that Lawrence would "become normal." Juno is a homophobic bitch, so after receiving the news that her son was eloping with his lover, she decided to take matters into her own hands.

Juno bribed Lawrence's lover, who really only wanted the young man's money. Juno told the boy that she would pay him whatever he wanted, if he took Lawrence, destroyed him emotionally and murdered him. The boy did so, but the young woman Juno had "adopted", Angeline (Miss Argentina) had witnessed the whole sinister plan.

Juno learned that once Lawrence married, he would inherit everything as stipulated in his father's will. So, to continue with the lie, Juno took a young prostitute to "convince" Lawrence to escape and leave everything behind and thus demarcate him from the surname Shaggoth, since in her eyes, Lawrence was unworthy of such a title. But it turned out that she found out about his affair with a boy, and apparently he was cheating on him.

Lawrence, about to die and feeling betrayed and very scared, recites a poem to calm himself, but he does not know that this poem would be his condemnation and his salvation. Once the conditions stipulated in the poem were met, it would come back to life.

That's why Lawrence needs Lydia to marry him, because then he will come back to life, but he doesn't really have the idea of really falling in love with that "someone" to help him.

Here Adam and Barbara are also aristocrats, but their family name is in decline and they are on the verge of poverty. They decide to adopt Adam's youngest nephew, named Vincent, to prepare him for a marriage with which they can cope with the imminent poverty that awaits their family. They believe it would be best if Vincent chooses his future wife, and he chooses Lydia to marry and she is forced to do so by her father.

Lydia runs away from the engagement after finishing the wedding rehearsal and, as if to mock her father, she says: "I'd rather marry a dead person than someone who doesn't know me!"

It is then that Lawrence appears and proposes to marry him and when he comes back to life, he will help her escape the country and her father.

But neither of them really expected to fall in love with each other when they got to know each other in depth.

But there is the problem of Juno, who no longer has money and it is then that she uses Lydia's disappearance to extort money from Charles and promise him that she will look for the young woman.

And after thinking about all that... That's when I started drawing

"I just want to be alive... And I... "

"I don't want to be alone"

"In this cruel world"

These are small test sketches

Here's a closer shot of a Beetlejuice killed by his lover...

This is Lawrence, moments before his death. When his lover asked him to elope with some of the wealth, Lawrence dressed in his white wedding suit, but it was dyed red when a shotgun bullet pierced his ribs. (yes in the same place where Lydia stabbed him in the musical, both wounds were caused by a stab wound in the back... A betrayal)

Well... I had many things to say... But in essence that is the basis of everything.

This AU really works with any version of Beetlejuice, but mostly works best with the Headcanons of the musical.

(New information, I'm going to upload the update on my headcanons about this AU, when the post is ready, here will be a link)

[oweninadaydream]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫 ||𝐇.𝐀𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐲

summary : Haymitch finds solace in a friendship with young (Y/N). Now Haymitch is outside, watching. (Y/N) is in the Arena, fighting.

song inspo: "There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair" - The Great War by Taylor Swift

pairing : Haymitch Abernathy x fem!reader (platonic)

word count : 1.8 k

contains : angst, hurt no comfort, betrayal, found family trope, violence, some gore, death, this story is set way before Katniss and Peeta's games. Also, first time writing for this character so probably a bit OC Haymitch hahaha.

a/n : Here you have my first moodboard !!! I wanted to try and capture the vibes of the story in three images and I'm pretty proud of myself. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the story :) PD: shoutout to @sarahisslytherin for being so supportive everytime I have a crisis hahaha. Comments are always appreciated 🩷

“I think it’s time I have another dose of that medicine they've sent'' she said as a cue for him to get up from his spot and hand her the remedy inside the metallic jar. (Y/N) had been sick for a day and a half and, even though it was the boy's fault that they had encountered the monster that had bitten her, she wasn’t holding it against him. She knew she could trust him ; at the end of the day, the male tribute from her district had made an alliance with her and she had been doing everything in her power so that he didn’t die. He stood up and handed her the jar. 

Haymitch had awoken suddenly after falling asleep on the couch while watching the games in the room designated to the mentors. The constant worry was affecting his sleep schedule and his appetite detrimentally. Not for the boy, no ; he didn’t give a shit about that brat who had skipped all the training sessions and had dismissed his mentor every time he tried to give them valuable advice. He was anxiously picking his lips for her, for (Y/N).

People thought Haymitch had met her after the Reaping, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Ever since (Y/N) was little, she roamed the District streets in solitude, as her mother had died and her father was extremely neglectful towards her. A younger Haymitch had recently become the District 12's victor and was beginning to develop a certain addiction to alcohol when, one cold afternoon, he encountered a young child by the gates of Victors Village.

Her sparkly eyes caught his tired gaze and a stare contest began. "I don't have time for this bullshit" he crankly thought while looking away. She asked him his name and that if that big house was his. He turned around and wondered whether he should engage in a conversation with the child who obviously had no better place to be at. He noticed the kid was underfed and didn't wear any winter clothes. The heart that had stopped beating after surviving the Hunger games came back to life , like a phoenix being reborn from its ashes. From that day on a very special bond was created between the two unfortunate souls. He was still very grumpy and had a little problem with drinking, but (Y/N) made him want to do better. She was incredibly smart and her sarcasm was one of the very few things that made the former tribute laugh. Their talks and dinners were a secret to the rest of the world ; he couldn't risk hurting the girl he had grown to love as a daughter.

He soon discovered her birthday was the day after the Reaping. This year she would turn 19 and the panic the Reaping used to cause her would finally end. Just one more year of not getting chosen and she could live a peaceful life, just like she had always dreamed of. The latter year Haymitch had been talking about taking her in as his daughter, as her father had also passed away. But before that could happen, the most disgustingly ironic thing happened.

"(Y/N), (Y/N) (Y/L/N)" 

One day, she only needed one more day. But it seemed useless to whine about something that would not change anyway. The other tribute was a boy nobody really talked to, so neither she nor Haymitch had any idea of what to expect from him. To say that the mentor was devastated was an understatement. But he could not show it, his face impassible as ever instead. 

He was there for every meltdown before the dozens of events, for every doubt she could have about how to make it out of the Arena alive, for every nightmare about what fate had planned for her. Haymitch observed with a worried frown how nobody approached (Y/N) during training week ; she was very astute but her mentor had stressed the importance of making alliances in order to have more chances to survive, and seeing how she was going to be all alone out there compressed his chest with acute pain.

He did everything in his power to prepare her for the multiple dangers she could be facing out there. Still, Haymitch’s mind couldn’t help but explore the darkest scenarios ; optimism was never one of his qualities. In the end, the apathetic boy from 12 decided to make an effort at the end of training season and he turned out to be a magnificent and stealthy climber ; he also started to get close to (Y/N) and they decided to team up. The change of attitude shocked Haymitch but since (Y/N) was much more calm and focused, he didn't put too much thought into it.

The District 12 mentor stared at the bright screen in front of him and watched how (Y/N) was sound asleep. The last 3 hours had been pretty dull on their part of the prefabricated habitat : he had gone out to collect some wood and after he had returned, he lit a fire and offered to watch out for any intruders while she slept. 

Suddenly, Haymitch noticed how the young male had started pacing back and forth in a nervous manner. His instinct of suspecting of everything anyone does kicked in very quickly. The tribute started sobbing heavily as he wielded the dagger he had managed to obtain from the cornucopia a few days earlier. His shaky hands lifted the weapon in the air and, with all the strength the teenager possessed, he stabbed her. 

The blade of his dagger penetrated her back with disturbing ease. He felt as if someone had put him on autopilot and, despite (Y/N) turning to feebly try to defend herself from the unexpected attack, he kept her still against the cold ground and continued to inflict the fatal wounds.

Her shuddering screams reached her assailant's ears like a distant echo. On the television, however, (Y/N)'s last words were perfectly understandable. His name. She was screaming his name. Haymitch couldn't quite detect whether the screams were a conscious call as a hurried form of farewell or a primal instinct in search of comfort triggered by a delusional pain that caused her to abandon all logic or coherent thought. If he had to bet, he would go for the second option, considering how quickly she was bleeding to death and the panicked expression on her face as she realized her life was rapidly coming to an end.

The stabs were becoming significantly weaker and that could only mean that the adrenaline rush that had originally enabled him to act in favor of his secret plan had slowly faded, only to leave him stranded in the tragic reality he had created. The screams stopped quite quickly, as she was choking on her own blood. The lack of cries caught the attention of the aggressor, who looked down and saw how (Y/N) breathed out for the last time. His shirt was a crimson mess. However,  nothing could compare with the bloody puddle that was coming out of her body. 

Leaving no time to mourn or process the scene in front of him, the Careers appeared and found the violent scene already over. Without an ounce of remorse or repulse, one of the District 1 tributes made their way towards the paralyzed teen and the corpse.

“There’s no time to waste. Give us her supplies, we’ll take them to our hidden spot in the skirts of the mountain. Meanwhile, you must go to the Cornucopia and bring some more food and weapons. You’ll join us later” The commanding voice of the male tribute intimidated the boy from 12 who obediently began to hand them what used to be (Y/N)’s : the matching axes, the food she had collected and had determined to be safe to consume, the medicine that was supposed to help her heal from the bites of the venomous creature. 

Haymitch beheld the horrific scene shown on the gigantic TV totally disassociated from reality ; he couldn’t move but the uneasiness crawling up his skin created a tight and uncomfortable feeling that he urgently needed to shake off. How could the boy be so stupid, so naive ? The Careers would kill him after he had completed the tasks they had ordered him to do; he was just a pawn in their master plan to win that hellish competition.

The camera pointed towards the interior of the cave where the body of the young woman laid still. Haymitch could barely recognize the corpse; that could not be the girl that brought light back to his life after living in the dark for so long or the young adult who respected him but also held him accountable when he messed up. No, that was not her. His brain could not assimilate the idea of her dying in such a vile and miserable way. That scum, poor excuse of a man would regret breaking his word, backstabbing his daughter like only a coward would.

He wished him a slow, painful and sanguinolent death. Actually, he wished he could have entered that damned Arena and done the job himself ; if you want something done right do it yourself, right? After a couple of seconds, the sound of the canyon and the image of (Y/N) projected in the sky appeared on the TV and as fast as they came, they disappeared from the screens, moving on to something much more entertaining for the expecting audience. 

He quickly excused himself from the room before anyone could begin to notice the grief in his expression. In the quietness of his private room, he started wailing and throwing everything in his way around, tearing all his belongings to pieces as a way to channelize his pain. After a while, he stopped only to approach the drinks cabinet provided by the generous Capitol, and he poured himself one of the many drinks he would have that night and the days to follow.

His heart began to develop another stone wall around itself, but this time it would never ever be destroyed, not like (Y/N) had managed to all those years ago. This time he would drown all his sorrow and any kind of emotion in all the types of liquors he could find. He would close himself to the world ; nobody would carve him open again, nobody would get so close to the real version of himself. He vowed then and there to abandon all hope and just let the years go by until the arrival of his final day. 

He exited the room only to sit on the balcony floor. While staring at the night sky, he felt a tear rolling down his left cheek ; after releasing a shaky breath, he raised the glass that contained his numbing remedy and murmured : 

" 'till we meet again, sweetheart"

[justtogetthrough]

When Dr Gaul tells Snow she erased the 10th Hunger Games because it was a mistake to bring the students into it, all the ones who died make the Capitol look weak. But all those deaths will be for naught if the 10th games will have never existed after the fact, after so many children died. But not just the student-mentors’ deaths were for naught. The deaths of the 23 tributes (24?) too. Wasteful. None of those kids needed to die that year if it’s like the game never happened in the end. How tragic for their families. At least with the games replayed and on record, their lives continue to be known. All 24 tributes are just wiped off the face of history, starting the day after the games ended.

I wonder if Snow went home after that visit with Gaul and thought about this waste. He tells Katniss decades later he has no problem killing children, but he’s never wasteful. The subject of waste is material for a Gaul assignment if we’d had more glimpses of his internship with her. I feel like that was a “value” (for… death traps) he grew to give a lot of weight to. It shaped his moves. Kill, but not wastefully. And oh, 10th was such a waste. A waste of children AND a waste of feeling love, of connecting with someone, of hopes and dreams, of opening up to someone about private things, and letting him care about someone, feel enlivened by someone. All of that a waste.

What do you think happened from 11th onwards regarding mentors? It would have taken at least 50 games to get every district to have a victor to become mentor so did having mentors not roll out til 51? Did they have Capitol adults mentor victor-less districts, or even all the districts before then?

🏟️🔱🐍🐀🗡️⚰️

🌳🧊🏊🐦‍⬛🌷🎻

Also do you really think people in the Capitol just forgot about Lucy Gray by the next day? They loved her. That buzz wouldn’t die down unless the president threatens punishment on anyone who utters her name or something. The Capitol was captivated by her. Yeah you can make sure no one new sees her games or hears about her (sort of), but you can’t make her fans forget. Not without imminent threat at least.

Idk I forgot Snow became a gamemaker right away for the 11th and my mind is like a hamster wheel realizing how drastically the games will have changed starting immediately. Him coming home being like yeaaah not only are the games too depressing for people in the districts to watch, but they don’t have electricity or tv’s to watch them even if they wanted them to? And. In 10 years no one in the government and none of the stationed peacekeepers ever realized/reported the games had no reach in the districts and that this might be of interest to the Capitol.

But dutiful Snow gets sent out for only one month, with Dr Gaul having to know that he’d pursue this girl but that he would ruin it/have it blow up in his face and he’d definitely come back. And come back he does, with on the ground knowledge of what the games means to the districts (nothing) and why this is so (lack of engagement/interest). Did she ever ponder the risk that he’d choose his songbird instead? I mean she probably didn’t care if he got shot for deserting or treason or whatever so the risk was worth it to her, if he may come back with new ideas. And come back with ideas, he did. Horrible, insane ideas.

Does anyone else find it interesting Dr Gaul’s name sounds like “gall”. Because. The gall of that woman.

[orangepeetals]

THE GREAT WAR ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹ (pt3

(playlist for a star series)

PEETA MELLARK X F.READER

pt1 / pt2 / next part

Summary: Peeta and Katniss must get married now to calm Snow or so they think.

a/n: i speak Spanish so the story was originally written in Spanish and then I translated it into English, plz don’t be rude if there is a mistake !! 😞

The engagement was made public, they made sure that each person in Panem knew about the wedding, they gave all the world’s attention to the show, the capitol made everything about the lovers of the 12th district, again.

Every thing that happened, every protest, every uprising, every arrest, they covered everything with the great ceremony of Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark.

Even with all the public attention they had, Peeta and you took advantage of every second they were hidden to continue loving each other as always, it was not just physical contact, you were really spending quality time, they took care of your flower garden in the victor’s village, as if it were about taking care of their love, they cooked together and every time they laughed together it was as if there was nothing else, it was almost like before, when they could, they escaped to some meadow where they could not see them, today was one of those days. The sound of the river was relaxing, this was accompanied by Peeta’s heartbeat, it was an orchestra for your ears, you were lying on his chest while the colors of the sunset were scattered throughout the sky, the breeze caressed your face, you smiled at the delicious sensation, Peeta left a kiss on your head and you felt that you could die there in his arms, you got up a little to be able to observe him but without separating much from his body.

“What are you thinking, loverboy?” You said while you let out a little laugh, you saw how he rolled his eyes by the nickname and bit your arm gently in a playful way before speaking. “I was thinking of us, I would like all this to end soon, I want to be with you y/n, I want us to have a family, I want to escape forever to a place where they can never find us, I don’t want the capitol to continue to own our lives, we should have escaped after your games.” He paused as he watched you with the most beautiful eyes that exist, stroked the back of your hand and left a little kiss in that place. “You don’t know how happy I feel every time I have to see wedding preparations, try on outfits and photo shoots but all that happiness goes to hell when I remember that it’s not you I’m marrying.”

Some tears fell down your cheeks at his words, it sounded so sad and lost, you wanted to protect him at all costs, why should something so beautiful feel pain? You didn’t have the words to answer him, you took his face in your hands and started a slow but intense kiss, you needed him to feel everything you were feeling, his hands caressed your waist, squeezing gently as they intensified the kiss, it was as if both were desperate to feel the other but it was still delicate and intimate. “Now it will not help us to escape, Peeta, they were going to find us no matter where we went, I have faith that all this will end at some point, I think that now Snow must be at peace with them getting married, he will not stop but at least he will calm the waters a little, while you and I will continue as we are, you know that you are mine and that’s what matters to me” Your words sounded soft, it was a great consolation for the blond, you laid back on his chest and dedicated yourself to giving him a lot of caresses, you knew that he was uneasy, all They were.

They had reasons to be…

——————

You decided to be alone for a while since Peeta had to keep seeing other things, your house felt alone and a little cold without his presence, you lay on the couch and turned on the TV, you didn’t usually watch TV because you really preferred to avoid things related to games or the capitol, not seeing that screen helped you get away from reality a little, that night you wished more than ever not to have turned on the damn screen, You saw Snow’s unpleasant face.

“The tributes will be chosen from those who have won before”

Your stomach turned. You appreciated oxygen too much at that time, because in a matter of seconds you felt your chest tight and as panic took over every part of you, you were so afraid, this feeling did not compare to any other fear before, not even when your name was chosen for the hunger games or when you heard Effie Trinket say the name of the person you love most in this life, now it was worse, there were chances that you would enter the quarter quell and you knew that if you were chosen, Peeta would enter at all costs, he would give your life for You without even hesitation. You needed to do something but you couldn’t think, you were on the floor while you cried and screamed in pain, the panic had paralyzed each of your senses, you lost track of time.

—————

You were walking towards Haymitch’s house, you had hit your head so many times that your forehead was bleeding and you were a total mess, you were pale, your hair tangled from pulling it so much, you looked horrible, the blows had left you stunned but you appreciated it, it was just what you needed, not to think. The door of the house was open, you entered without asking and saw him drinking as usual.

“It seems that someone didn’t like the news... your forehead is bleeding” Haymitch’s drunken words resonated in your head, you just let out a laugh, it was obvious that you knew you were bleeding.

“I need you to offer yourself as a tribute if they choose Peeta, it is obvious that Katniss will come out as a tribute, They want her to fight, Snow hates her and wants to see her dead, so I will offer myself, instead for Snow, Peeta is not a threat” Your voice sounded lost but you had no doubts about everything you said, you were sorry to lose Haymitch but nothing mattered if Peeta was safe, even your life did not matter.

“Wow... not even a ‘please’, sweetheart.” He laughed and drank more of his glass, you ignored his words and waited for some useful answer. “Peeta came half an hour ago to beg me to save you while you were trying to commit suicide even without knowing if you can get in there or not, Katniss kept asking me to help them, it seems that today is my day to be the most sought-after man in Panem but I will do it, because you deserve it and because I need to give a little emotion to my life” His words were firm, apparently he had already made the decision a lot before you asked him for something.

“Thank you, Haymitch, seriously, I’m very afraid” You hugged him and sobbed him, you felt your head burn from the blows you had given yourself and for having cried for a long time.

“You need to see Peeta, that he help you heal that wound before you pass out again or something like that” His words reminded you of that time you fainted from anxiety when Peeta was chosen in the reaping. You nodded in response to his words and went out in the direction of your boy’s house. As soon as you saw it, your heart broke into a thousand parts, he looked so sad and worried, he ran to meet you when it noticed all the blood on your face. “y/n, are you okay? Hey, honey, what happened?” His voice sounded as if he wanted to cry again, you regretted being so unconscious as to be able to respond, you simply let yourself fall into his arms, Peeta carried you to the house and took care of you with all the love in the world, he bathed you and took care of your wounds, you loved that it to be like that, actions like these made you fall in love with him every day, you slept entangled in his body, you didn’t want to leave him, you needed to be as close to him as possible.

————————

Peace was ephemeral, now you were walking towards the stage, escorted with peacekeepers, you knew what you were going to, so you walked with your forehead up, strutting that you were going to die and that you were not afraid of that.

Lie.

You knew that at all costs you were going to enter that arena again, being elected or voluntary, you had spoken to Katniss, you begged her not to offer herself in case your name came out, she refused but you managed to convince her, although this time you did not trust her word, it was sure that she had made some promise with Peeta but it certainly did not worry you, you knew that it was Katniss who they wanted to kill.

Effie’s voice this time was not celebratoous, it sounded more like a sad attempt to make things more lively but it wasn’t going to turn out, everyone knew it was unfair for them to come back, especially for Katniss and Peeta who had just gone through this.

“Katniss Everdeen” Effie’s voice exclaimed, you felt Peeta’s gaze on you and in a matter of seconds you had offered and you were already ahead, there was no turning back. Although there was a certain possibility that Peeta would not be elected, you didn’t want to risk it, you needed to know that it would be fine.

“Haymitch Abernathy” You let out a sob when you heard the name, you knew what was coming, Haymitch watched you with sadness, how much pain. Peeta offered himself as a tribute automatically.

You and Peeta gave each other a handshake as a greeting for being the tributes for the quarter quell, you hated that the odds were not in your favor, again. You were going straight to death, you could never hurt Peeta. The next thing was you on the train, back to the capitol.

[purgemarchlockdown]

Milgram and The Rose Bride

(CWs: Child Abuse, Cults, Unhealthy Relationships, Bullying, Sexism, Discussions of Ownership in the context of Marriage, minor mentions of sexual abuse and minor mentions of sexual abuse in relation to Minors)

(Spoilers for Utena!)

Alright so, since I'm putting this on the Milgram blog, most likely most people who see this don't know what the Rose Bride is and what that means so lets answer that question.

The Rose Bride is a concept in the 90s Psychological Shoujo Anime Revolutionary Girl Utena, in which the main premise is that a bunch of highschoolers are dueling for marriage (ownership) of the Rose Bride so that they can revolutionize the world.

Now, the thing is, The Rose Bride is a Real Person, and the implications of her ownership and the environment that Allows for that to happen are explored through the series, and the reason why I'm bringing it up in relation to Milgram is this.

"In the end, all girls are the rose bride."

Let's talk about Mahiru for a bit since her being so focused on romantic love makes it a lot easier to explain what I mean by this.

In T1 we get this interrogation from Mahiru:

T1Q20: What do you think about smoking? I've never smoked before, but I might copy him if who I love smokes.

This is a deeply concerning sentence, Mahiru has just stated that she is willing to do something incredibly physical destructive to herself if the person she loves is doing the same. This connects back to her thoughts on having "matching love."

We fought sometimes, I was happy to get hurt Let's have matching pain, this sickness is pretty bad This is a claim of responsibility From the two of us with matching love

Now, the Rose Bride has to anything the person who is engaged to her tells her to do. The Rose Bride is not allowed any sort of Autonomy or Agency.

(Transcript Link for Utena Scripts)

Touga:  The Rose Bride, cooking? Touga:  You shouldn't do such things as cooking. Touga:  You should only take care of the roses here. Touga:  This birdcage is your territory. Touga:  And you are the beautiful little bird which lives here. Touga:  I want to possess this birdcage, and everything in it.

Touga:  Himemiya Anthy is the Bride of the victor of the Duel. Touga:  While she was engaged to you, the Code required her to obey you.

I Love You:

What am I supposed to do now? If you won’t tell me, I can’t be me

Mahiru is also probably the most traditionally feminine out of the entire female cast. With her priorities being love, romance, and having children.

(Mahiru Interrogation)

T2Q1: What's your opinion on Marriage? Mahiru: It's something I really dream of.

T2Q10: Do you like children? Mahiru: Yup. I always dreamed of having the older being a girl, and the younger being a boy.

Mahiru is willing to do Anything for love, even if it gets her hurt in the process. That's what she's Supposed to want, that's what is Supposed to bring her joy, that's what is Supposed to bring everyone joy. (Mahiru T1 VD)

Es: I honestly have no interest in those matters.  Mahiru: What? No, no. There’s no such thing as that. Being in love is like a landmine. It’ll explode someday, you know? The only thing that differs is whether it happens earlier or later in life. It’ll happen to you too. Even if you don’t have any interest in it now, one day it’ll explode for you as well. All because you’ll have that fateful encounter with your special someone.

Love is what Everyone Wants and if you say you Don't you just haven't found the right person.

Mahiru: Yeah, yeah. You’ll deny it at first. I mean, I was like that as well. Before then, I always admired soap operas and shoujo manga because I thought that they depicted a world different from our own. 

Voice:  Once upon a time... Voice:  ...there was a princess grieving over the deaths of her mother and father. Voice:  Before this princess appeared a prince traveling upon a white horse. Voice:  His appearance gallant, and his smile gentle, the prince enveloped the princess

The amatonormativity in Mahiru's worldview is clear. People are Supposed to fall in love and have the Normal Idealized Heterosexual Romance and there's Nothing Else Outside of That At All.

Mahiru: Yeah, yeah. You’ll deny it at first. I mean, I was like that as well.

Anthy:  But I've been engaged to you, Utena-sama. Utena:  I've told you to stop mentioning stuff like "engagement" and the "Rose Bride." Anthy:  Nevertheless... Utena:  Look, no matter how you look at me, I'm a regular wholesome girl. Utena:  I'm only interested in wholesome boys, not a bride or stuff like that.

And Mahiru does a lot to preserve a "marketable" quality to her actions and behavior. TIHTBILWY is formatted like a magazine, something that is sold and bought by consumers. Erasing the messiness of her relationship or even Romanticizing those qualities to seem appealing.

Giving you love to the point of pulling you down It's just because I still get worried, please forgive me Even when I test you, even the times we do the breakup ritual, Is because I love you

Voice:  but because of the strength of her admiration for the prince, Voice:  the princess made up her mind to become a prince herself! Voice:  But is that really good for her?

The story of the Prince in Utena is one that is a fabrication, it hides and excludes multiple Very Important parts of the story all in the favor of portraying the Ideal Fairytale Heterosexual Romance.

Unlike Utena who chooses to become a "Prince" (which is a concept I'll get into in a bit.) Mahiru is trying to make Herself the Rose Bride. She orientates her life around who she loves, she's willing to accept a lot of abuse for the sake of an Ideal Relationship, she even actively downplays her intelligence and strength! Something that is explored in detail by this post by archivalofsins you should check out.

Now that isn't to say Mahiru isn't a horrible partner. She is, and this is why. Mahiru is Expecting this sort of incredibly idealistic fairytale romance from her partner, an ideal that no person can possibly live up to without harming the people they care about and themselves!

Do you really think you know what love is? If you do, let's just overheat together The things that I only want to say to you, and the things that I want from you Is love

My emotions are out of control, that’s inconvenient? I don’t care!

You can't live up to this and you shouldn't want to! It's an unrealistic and unachievable ideal with a horrific power imbalance to boot! Yet Mahiru is Trying to conform to these ideals, trying to conform to the unrealistic expectations of women and relationships in society, and that's why she's here in the first place.

"He who believes friendship exists is a fool."

So these toxic and unhealthy ideals and expectations are at the core of Mahiru's character and her situation. But there ideals are perpetuated by an environment that promotes this sort of behavior, one that isn't unique to Mahiru's situation.

Muu Kusunoki is a 16 year old teenage girl who is both a victim of bullying and someone who bullies others for her own gain.

She also might of had a homoromantic relationship with her murder victim.

Let’s meet up inside the pain, a place just for me Postmortem makeup to hide my heart, how to solve it is a secret The stabbing of the little devil’s voice, counterattack being a suicide note “I love YOU”

I wonder who that reminds me of.

I'll get into Shiori in a second, but it's important to note that Muu introduces a concept that's present in Mahiru's story but is particularly present in Muu, the concept of the cycle.

Saionji:  No... I was to be the one to rescue her from the coffin this time. Saionji:  No! I am the one who will save her this time. The castle said to contain eternity... Saionji:  the power to revolutionize the world...

The concept of eternity and nostalgia in Utena tends to be depicted as a coffin, one you need to break out of to grow.

Touga:  If the egg's shell does not break, the chick will die without being born. Touga:  We are the chick; the egg is the world. Touga:  If the world's shell does not break, we will die without being born. Touga:  Break the world's shell! Touga-Juri:  For the sake of revolutionizing the world!

The duelists want the Rose Bride so that they can gain the power to revolutionize the world. Who she is does not Matter as much as what she can Give Them.

Now, this idea is particularly present in characters like Shidou and Kotoko who position themselves as saviors, not for the benefit of others but for what they Get out of that arrangement, thematically fitting the concept of the prince.

However, Muu is not the prince, she is not a savior. In fact she always positions herself as the victim, as someone pitiful and weak. (Crying B)

Muu: Hey… Prison guard, when you say “I”… Who are you talking about? Es: [breaking down]  Muu: Prison guard? Es: [stumbles]  Muu: Prison guard. What’s wrong? Prison guard! [shakes Es] Hey! Prison guard! Es: Shut up! Don’t touch me! Muu: [cries] You’re so cruel… I… Even though I was just worried about you… [cries again] I can’t take it anymore. I hate you, prison guard! 

Es pain and breakdown is caused by something Muu said, and yet when Es very sharply tells her not to touch them because their uncomfortable with it. Muu immediately starts crying and talking about how much They got hurt because of what they did, when Es is currently unresponsive due to what she did to them, albeit unintentionally.

Muu needs to to be the victim, After Pain shows all the bad things that happened to her and not Any of the bullying she participated in. It's Not My Fault is a whole song about how everything she did was right actually and that everyone else was wrong.

Now, Muu isn't a master manipulator or anything. She's an impulsive 16 year old. If Muu was a master manipulator she wouldn't be here, would she? She'd be still in school taking the honey up as she was before Rei did whatever she did.

Muu gains power by being pitiful and weak so she'll be loved, and by its' very nature it's self-destructive. She cannot be Happy because if she Was this wouldn't work anymore. She Must be in a worse situation, she must be the victim, or else no one would pity and love her.

I am innocent as everybody desires

Juri: You're just like Shiori... Juri: ...cruelly innocent.

Muu cycles from being "weak and pitiful" to being "queenly and powerful" and tends to hurt herself in the process. This attempt at grabbing power and love through pity Harms Muu, and she seems to even be drowning in a lot of self-hatred and self-pity, and is looking for external validation to confirm that she's "good."

But I guess some of it is my faultMaybe it’s ok as it is I want to feel “alive”, is it ok if I breathe?

Hey, what if If I am a bad girl Don’t hate me. Don’t even try to proof from “After Pain”

And, in an attempt to gain power and control, Muu traps herself in a coffin.

Shiori: This is me, the real me! Shiori: And not the underdog that was living a miserable life in the shadow of the bright shining Juri! Shiori: The real me that surpasses the light. Shiori: Yes, this is the me that controls Juri.

But, it isn't all her fault.

Again, Muu really was bullied, horribly so if were judging by her lyrics in After Pain and the sequences we see in it.

If I was gone, If I had just disappeared I overheard, I found out How much I’m not needed

T1Q4: Is there something you hate? Scary people and ghosts. And right now, school.

Muu isn't lying about this, and Rei isn't fully sympathetic either, she did Hurt Muu and Muu really did want to apologize to her.

T1Q9: Do you have apologetic feelings for who you killed? A: The person who did the wrong thing first should apologize.

Shiori: Juri-san was so kind to me. Shiori: But I thought she was kind to me because she looked down on me, Shiori: and that she had pity on me for being plain and useless. Shiori: That's pathetic! Shiori: So I wanted to change my relationship with Juri-san. Shiori: But what I did with him made me more miserable than before. Shiori: I should have wanted it for myself! Shiori: But now... Shiori: Now I'm on equal terms with her. No, I've won! Shiori: I always had a place in Juri-san's heart. Shiori: I'm the winner! Shiori: What shall I do? I'm so delighted to know my friend's secret I almost can't bear it! Shiori: She suffered alone, looking at my picture in secret... Shiori: That was Juri-san? Poor thing! Shiori: No good! It's still no good! Shiori: How could you look at me like that?!Shiori: Why did it all turn out this way?

The school as a whole is letting a horrible environment of bullying and toxicity be left to rot and fester. You Really Can't create a healthy friendship in a world like that, it just won't let you. If your not friends with someone because you gain something from them, you'll suffer.

Muu: Wow, poor thing,.. I’ll teach you! Friends aren’t like that, you know. Rather than using each other for something, we just get along because we’re comfortable around each other. That’s all. Es: Well, I’m sorry about that. Muu: Haruka-kun is really nice! He accepts anything I say, he listens to anything I tell him. For me, that’s really comfortable. Es: And that’s… “friendship”? Muu: What do you mean? Of course we’re friends! Haruka-kun is happy with it, so it only has benefits for both of us! Es: I, as someone who has no friends, can’t judge, of course, but isn’t that just exploitation? Muu: Exploitation…? Um, I don’t really understand, but… I do help him pick out clothes [in return], and I recently gave him a hairpin I didn’t need anymore as a hand-me-down!

Akio:  But sincerity by itself changes nothing. Akio:  Without power, one finds themself merely depending on others to live.

Jackalope describes this relationship as a "Master-Servant" relationship and it seems like this is the type of friendship Muu is familiar with. She's emulating how her friendships were in school, just with someone else as the servant and her as the master.

T1Q1: What is a friend? A: Someone who properly listens to what I say.

Now this doesn't completely absolve her obviously, what she did was still Very Bad and even though she Breaks the hourglass in her MVs. She doesn't really leave it.

Muu does not want to accept responsibility for her actions, she believes herself to be justified and in the right, even when she has Done Wrong.

This unwillingness to accept when something she did is wrong and the unhealthy environment of Milgram that assigns strict moral value to people's actions and has no nuance in its judgement...leads her back into the cycle she was trapped in.

“A girl who cannot become a princess is doomed to become a witch.”

Now we've tackled the gender roles and horribly toxic cycles and ideals, so, what happens when you Can't work within those confines, or even want to break out of them? Just, hypothetically, if you cannot become a princess (which is everyone because the ideal of a princess is so incredibly unrealistic that anyone who aspires to be it would destroy themselves in the process) or Don't want to be a princess, what happens?

Well.

You become something Other.

Something Evil and Unnatural.

Something that needs to be Punished and Harmed.

So, now, this is where I have to mention that Utena as a show deals with underage sexual abuse, I didn't mention this for the other sections since they were not as relevant to those discussions. However since this section deals with the abuse received by the Rose Bride it feels important to mention.

I will not be referring to it in the context of Amane's due to how we don't have information in the text pointing to Amane being a csa victim. This is for the sake of Tact, as it feels wrong to speculate about it here and I do not feel like I'm the right person to examine this.

It will, again, be mentioned and alluded to, so stay safe and do what's good for your health.

So, Amane Momose is repeatedly dehumanized throughout her story.

This is a consistent theme with her, she is treated as something subhuman and terrifying.

In Purge March, Amane is consistently depicted as scary, threatening, or otherwise evil.

There's even a section in her T2 VD where Amane calls herself "evil," though it is done in a roundabout way while she's talking about Shidou (who I will get to in a bit.)

A: Both pain and illness are trials. According to our teachings, those who run from them are the worst evil there is. That’s one of the four great principles. No matter who you are, that cannot be forgiven. E: What are you…? A: Oh – speaking of which, there is one among the prisoners right now. An evil existence that’s trying to steal people’s trials away from them.

Shadow:  The witch roams this world of darkness even now. Shadow:  Seeking the young and noble, to sacrifice them anew! Shadow:  Surely the light presents an obstacle to the witch, to her dominion over the dark. Shadow:  Beware! Beware! She is still somewhere in this world...

Not only that, but Amane is The Cat, a symbol constantly associated with sin and impurity throughout the MVs with Kazui and Yuno.

And is implied to have actually Been asked if she was human by her parents.

(Amane T1 VD)

Amane: Yes. It is only natural for a person(/human) to apologize to another for breaking a promise. Es: … Amane: Why are you looking so doubtful? Are you not human?

I promise! A good girl that keeps a promise is like, mwah!

Amane is not to be considered human, she's even collared and leashed in her Prisoner design, the medal and bow on her outfits in the MVs being another "collar" of sorts.

Amane Needs to be Restrained and Domesticated or else she'll bring harm to the people around her. She isn't good enough to be a "good girl" and seems to Know This.

Only if, only if, only if I could be a good girl

It's always "I can be a better girl" or "I can be a good girl" and not "I am a good girl," and the line above implies its impossible for her to be one. It's not something she can do.

When she gets punished by her parents its to make her a "better girl," and to "change" her into a "good girl." It is love, for they are not leaving her to die as an animal.

(Amane Interrogations)

T2Q9: What does love mean to you? A: To spread mercy with no limits.

But it’s not scary at all, because it’s love I can really think it’s great. See isn’t it a great thing?

Even though these punishments keep on Almost Killing Her!

It's what she needs to go through to be good! And even if she doesn't even believe its possibly anymore what else can she do? Run? Running away from trials is a sin! One of the worst there is! She can't allow herself to be more sullied than she already is.

Plus she knows this is love, she isn't scared anymore, it's childish to be scared of it.

Akio:  A child like you can't appreciate my ideals. Akio:  The Rose Bride exists because of ideals you don't comprehend.

Plus there's a sort of comfort in it, she knows what happens next. She idealizes Milgram somewhat in T1, believing that it's possible for this world, that resembles her abusive environment so much, could be Good.

Amane: Ah, I am looking forward to it! Seeing whether your judgement will align with that of these higher standards! If that is the case, maybe Milgram would be the right world for us to live in, rather than the outside world! Milgram relies on your judgement, isn’t that right? In that case, you could become the mediator for a far more righteous world!!

There's a comfort in Milgram's strict forgiven/unforgiven verdict system with a (theoretical) possibility of growth! And she later takes comfort in the same religious doctrine that Harmed her when Es does declare her as unforgiven.

If your so used to a situation, even if it harms you, why would you ever want to leave it? It's scarier if you leave it, you don't know what will happen next. At least at home, Amane knows what to do so she can get off a bit longer without getting hurt.

If you become a bad girl, monsters will come out This is the magic that stops that from happening

Akio:  Anthy, the sword. Akio:  That's right. You're a good girl, Anthy.

Amane's suffered for twelve or so years, an eternity trapped in a coffin. A cycle of abuse and pain and horror and fear. Why would she Ever want to leave it when what she's seen of the outside world is so horrible?

Amane: In fact, there have been people who said that to me. I’ve been told things like, “You’re being deceived.” “You can still make it right now.” “You’re crazy.”

People are always positioning themselves as stronger than her, people are always positioning themselves as smarter than her, people are always positioning themselves as Her Prince.

Shidou: I…… I just don’t understand. If everything about MILGRAM is true…… why did a child like you have to become a murderer? Just imagining what sort of circumstances must have led to that, it makes me so sad…… Amane: ……*sigh*. Is that right. I don’t think I’m going to get along with you, Shidou-san. I don’t agree with the fact you refuse to acknowledge that I have my own free will, and that I should be held accountable for my actions, just because I’m a child. I may have only been alive for 12 years, but all the choices I’ve made, even if they weren’t the best ones, were entirely my own. What point is there in you getting sad when I have no regrets myself? ……please give me back my test. It seems you don’t have the concentration levels required to be my teacher. I’m going to get Kotoko-san to teach me instead. Shidou: Amane…… I don’t think that’s true. However smart you may be…… you’re still just a child.

Utena:  Cut it out with that "Rose Bride" or "possession" nonsense. Utena:  That girl is an ordinary girl named Himemiya Anthy! Touga:  Is she? Touga:  Is it true that you're an ordinary girl? Utena:  You don't like it, do you? Utena:  Being the Rose Bride or whatever... Anthy:  I... Utena:  Go ahead, speak your mind! Anthy:  My mind... Utena:  Yeah! Utena:  You hate being treated as the Rose Bride, right? Utena:  Tell him clearly! Anthy:  All right. Anthy:  I hate being treated as the Rose Bride. Utena:  What's so funny?

Amane: You are treating me as a child after all. Because I’m a child, you believe that I must have been brainwashed. It’s not like that. I, too— children, too, understand everything! Please don’t just decide that people must be unhappy.

What she wants doesn't matter! When has it ever mattered? The people who say it does, don't like it when she acts in a manner they don't expect and her parents have made it Very Clear that what she does isn't important to them.

Any sort of happiness she could possibly get tends to come from things that are outside of her cult. And because of that, she isn't supposed to have them, and she is wrong for wanting them in the first place.

And yet...Amane cares so much about having free will and autonomy though, it's her main argument in her T1 VD and her biggest problem with her treatment.

Amane: I see. Then, are the things that I as a twelve-year-old think irrelevant? Are you going to cast aside the feelings that I know I have in this very moment, purely based on the fact that I have not yet lived for a very long time? Judging these things based on someone’s age will not take you very far. Do I, at age twelve, not have my own will?

That's the thing with Amane Momose, she doesn't want to be a "princess."

T2Q13: If you could be reborn, would you still choose to be yourself? A: Obviously.

She wants to stay as her, no matter what. In spite of all of this she doesn't want to be anything else But Her. Even if it gets her hurt.

Amane helped the cat because she wanted to, she saw it hurt and couldn't look away.

Utena:  Hey, save her! Utena:  It's too cruel! Utena:  Save her! Utena:  Save her...

And in the eyes of god, she was wrong for doing so.

Dios:  She can no longer be saved.

’Tis ordained, thou shall follow thine destiny

But again, Amane doesn't want to die.

T1Q12: What is the meaning of life? A: I think it is something you learn for the first time when you look behind yourself when it ends. I do not want to have regrets then, so I live on with all my might.

This was the tipping point of her, how much more is she willing to suffer? How much longer is she willing to stay here? Because she will die, it's not an if, its a when.

So, she decides, to break out of her coffin, and while it is partially due to how she was given a righteous reason to kill her mother. It is a crime that is mainly motivated by self-preservation and hatred.

Amane: Furthermore, isn’t it condescending of you to assume that just because I happen to be a child, I am incapable of hating someone enough to kill them?

Unfortunately for her, the audience isn't as willing to accept that.

I talk about it in more detail over here but we are Constantly positioned in the place of her abusers. From framing to her opinions on us, ever since we voted her guilty in T1 for the primary reason of "making her realize her mistakes." we mimic her parents.

Since she cannot become a princess, she becomes a witch, and is forced right back into that cycle she desperately tried to escape.

And Someday, Together, We'll Shine

So, that's a bit of a downer. But even so we have hope!

It's not exactly easy when the system built is so counter-productive to everyone's wellbeing and development that it often makes them worse instead of better.

But Amane has made a promise to live. Muu Does want to have genuine relationships with the people around her. And Mahiru has admitted her relationship wasn't as ideal as she initially thought.

And sometimes, you just need to see a possibility for something outside of all this to be able to get out of it.

Anthy:  What will you be doing in ten years? Utena:  I dunno. But... Anthy:  But? Utena:  But I hope we can be together like this drinking tea then. Anthy:  Yes. I hope so too. Utena:  I'm sure that'll be great. Utena:  Let's have tea and laugh together ten years from now, okay? Utena:  Promise? Anthy:  Yes. Definitely.