#i just hope prof is ok
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#me when i slept for only two hours woke up at 8 am for my online class and prof is not even online#my level of sleep deprivation is... insane#it's not that I'm mad or something i expected that#because there is terrible ice storms and wind way back home.#my classmate sent me a picture yesterday of a tree in his yard that was lying on the ground#ripped out by the roots.#i just hope prof is ok#my art#the sims 2#nervous subject
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i've been having an absolutely Hateful time lately but there are still some good things in life namely !!!!!!
-> my housemates in general but specifically them on the balcony with one of them cutting the other's hair which i can both hear a little bit (like in the background) but am also getting picture updates of on whatsapp -> having good interactions with people in stores. LOVE that shit. when u & the cashier r both in a good mood and you feel that connection 10/10 -> new pair of second hand jeans that i love. WITH an absolute slay belt. -> planning on making pancakes tonight (roommate birthday). slay.
#i dont have class tomorrow which im SO bummed out about bc i didnt have class last week bc of the holiday#but now the prof's got some family issues to attend to so obviously good for him that class is canceled#but i only have 2 classes a week and im quite dying to be honest like ok it doesnt matter its all fine#but its all adding up to my Hateful Time Lately. the strugglerrrrrrrr#i Need to do more things in mylife. somebody give me a job PLEAK#actually i will also go work on firday this week so slay at least theres that#ive got a tiny shift at the most well paying job ive ever had that is also fun to do (its at a theatre)#so im happy about that. i hope they tell me to come work for them the entire season#idec about the money i just need stuff to do (i AM also doing volunteer work btw its just not entirely what i want to be doing)#(i need to go to the oxfam bookstore on thursday and see if they need help bc i feel like that will be more fun that what im doing now)
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yay i got an A on that chem exam i was really worried about!!!!!
#pomodoriwhines#i hope the final goes well next week aaaaa#i studied p hard for this test but i just know that the final is going to be difficult. i have flashcards#for now i just gotta get my beautiful presentation done for tomorrow and then i can worry about studying for the chem final#tbh i dont actually need to do that well on it in order to improve my grade. prof is being v nice and letting folks drop their lowest exam#IF their final is higher than any of their other exams. and if its worse than the exams he drops the final instead#so thats v nice of him. theres only 1 exam i completely bombed#the other one i did poorly on was bc of a time limit! nd i still passed it ok. but it was more of a scrape than i usually like lmao
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seeing info only about the kiryu and majima statuettes but absolute radio silence on the ichi one is utterly sending me. Theyre hiding the fact theyre gonna make ichi pale as a cracker again
#snap chats#theyre in the lab making a skin tone with melanin in it for once im SCREAMING#JUST LET ME SEE MY BOY PAINTED LET ME SEE HOW BAD THE DAMAGE IS#whether i spend $150 is entirely dependent on if ichi is pale or not and im so serious its why i didnt get his plushie#anyways i got hate crimed today i was getting lunch with my dumbass friend WHICH. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I DO#CAUSE WE JUST SIT IN DEAD SILENCE AND SHES TERRIBLE AT CONVERSATION RIGHT anyway.#we were getting lunch and her prof ask her like ‘oh are you on a date <3’ like prof i would rather kms !!!! then go on a date with this gir#literally my biggest fear i hope people dont think we’re dating id actually drop out#‘snap you make her sound awful’ because she is and i dont feel bad about bullying her anymore NO LISTEN#WE WERE PLAYING Y7 LAST NIGHT AND SHE BUTT DIALS HER FRIEND. LIKE A DUMBASS.#AND DEADASS ME AND HER FRIEND JUST TALK ON HER PHONE ABOUT HOW MUCH SHE SUCKS.. WHILE SHES SITTING RIGHT THERE.#i felt so validated cause everything he was complaining about id complain about like oohhhh my god i should meet him#hes the guy that called me that invincible character. and mystery man. i think i talked about this already wait—#ITS STILL FUNNY TO ME IDC ive never felt so seen in my life. why an i friends with this girl idk we’ll figure out one day#right now i want. ichi statue to be real and tanned#ok bye i have class soon
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Bury the Dead (with a Stitch Through the Stars)
@inklings-challenge
1.
though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light
i have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night
[The Old Astronomer To His Pupil, Sarah Williams]
Thirsty.
It’s the only thing she can think. It’s all dark and her eyes are sticky shut and she’s so thirsty. It isn’t supposed to make a sound.
Her eyes flicker open to the weak barking whine that come out of her without meaning to. “Thirsty,” she whines, though it’s not supposed to sound like that. When she blinks the stickiness from her eyes a person comes into view, blurry at first. It isn’t one she recognizes. She hopes this one won’t hurt her. She hopes this one will help her.
“Ah, there you are,” says the person in a soft rumbly voice. It’s a man with strangely colored eyes and a wiry beard speckled and striped with white around his mouth. He presses a hand to her back, making her shiver, and she sits up almost surprised to have been lying like that.
“Alright, there you go,” says this careful man. He tips his head in a question she cannot answer, then quickly walks away. She wants to follow him, instinctively, but thinks she does not have the strength. So she just whimpers. There is no one else to hear her. But it’s as if that calls the man back, because he returns with a worried look and holding a small clear cup. She can nearly smell the liquid inside it, can taste it already, and finds her limbs flailing as she reaches for it.
The strange man holds up a finger. She knows that that means wait. She forces herself to still and the man smiles behind his beard. That’s good, isn’t it?
“Drink it slowly,” he says. “Don’t shock your system. You’ll feel very thirsty for a while, but you had an IV the entire time to keep you hydrated.”
She isn’t sure what most of that means, but she tries to drink the cool, sweet water slowly like he said. She wants this man to be happy with her. She dips her tongue into the cup first, as if to lap it up, and ends up spilling much of it when her hands fumble.
“Careful, now,” chuckles the man. He has a familiar rolling accent, and she both knows and does not know the language he speaks in. “You were a part of the younger batch, but your charts didn’t show a name,” he says once she has sipped down all of the water. “You can call me Daniel,” he continues. “and you are?”
She tips her head sideways. There is only a piece of something she thinks may have been a name, once. “I don’t know,” she tries to say, her voice raspy from dis- and mis-use.
The man, Daniel, nods. He turns and writes something down somewhere. She tenses at this. This is familiar. She doesn’t think this is good. “That’s perfectly alright,” Daniel reassures her, though. “Amnesia is a noted side effect of this type of cryogenic inducement, especially at these rates.”
She tries to clear her throat. It sounds like a growl. “Is it… forever?” She asks. It does not bother her. She would just like to know, since it seems that she can ask.
Daniel hesitates, tipping first one shoulder up and then the other, one side and then the next, like swaying back and forth. “Most often, no. It can be permanent in some cases, but usually it’s a case of time and patience. You’ll be fine,” he says kindly. “Do you have a name you would like me to call you in the meantime?”
She thinks of the last warm voice she remembers. It fades in and out of her memory, black and white. “I think…” she licks her lips. “Lai?” And watches for a reaction.
Daniel nods. He writes another thing down, maybe her name? And smiles. “It’s good to meet you, Lai. I’ve already told you my name. I’m this vessel’s generational medic. If you have any health concerns, you may come to me anytime. And since you seem to be suffering from post-cryosleep memory loss, let me explain:
“We are aboard the mid-journey ship Aleya, en route to an experimental colony on the upper edges of the star Earendel’s solar range. As you likely learned in school before your boarding, if you remember that, humans can only stay in a cryogenized state for so long before bodily systems begin to break down, so this journey has been planned in stages. You and I will not see the light of Earendel in our lifetimes.” His voice quietens at this, a wry smile faintly visible in his eyes if not his mouth. “This generation will grow old and reproduce and raise each other so that when they are of a safe age, the next can go to sleep knowing they will wake in their new home.”
Lai sits very still, watching Daniel intently. All of what he is saying sounds very big. Big words she does not know, big ideas she can’t understand, but what she does hear is that what they are doing is big, very big, bigger than anything she’s done before. “I’m… important?” She hears herself say, strange raspy high voice she isn’t used to.
Daniel nods, smiles again. She likes that. The smile directed at her, mostly, but also the being important. She thinks she’s been told that before. She thinks it’s nice. She tips her head. “So what now?” She questions. There must be more beyond this space they’re in. How much is there she can’t see? From what Daniel said, everything seems very vast. She isn’t sure about that.
Daniel breathes out thoughtfully. “There are semi-private living quarters enough for everyone onboard this craft. You were the last of the batch to come out of cryo, so I will escort you to re-meet the rest of them, so you won’t run the risk of getting lost. Do you feel strong enough to walk a slight distance?”
She hesitates, then nods. She believes she can manage, but Daniel still has to steady her for a moment when she slides from the cot she was on. Standing on two feet feels strange. She looks up at Daniel, nervously licking her lips. She sneezes.
“будь здоро́ва,” Daniel chuckles as Lai stares at him, wide-eyed. She feels her face form into a grin, teeth showing and all.
“мой родной язык,” She exclaims in kind. My mother tongue!
Daniel nods thoughtfully. “I thought as much. It’s mine as well, ancestrally at least.” He says the last as an aside, half quietly and looking off as it at nothing before his gaze fixes back onto Lai. “Shall we go?” He holds out his hand in beckoning and from instinct, Lai reaches out and takes it. Daniel watches this, puzzled, but does not pull his hand away and she is grateful.
He leads her into a long, high-roofed hallway, walking slowly as if he worries she cannot keep up. But she does. She follows him by the hand through the tall white halls, head turned wonderingly up to see the ceiling, tiled in reflective blue. “What is that?” She asks softly.
Daniel follows her gaze up. “Ah. Stained glass,” he says. “This hall ends in the chapel, if you were to return the way we’ve just come,” he explains. “The stained glass lights the way. I like to think it offers some semblance of hope, as well. The rest of the Aleya is not so artful.”
The blue-ceilinged hall opens into a wide, vast place that immediately dizzies her when she reaches it, and she grasps onto Daniel’s hand harder. There are platforms at all levels around the edges of the tall, too tall walls, some wrapping all the way as far as she can see and disappearing into halls that must be similar to the one they’ve just emerged from. She gasps softly taking it all in, layers upon layers of floors and platforms, small forms moving around atop them and at the bottom, maybe a real floor. There are dozens of enormous glass windows, filled with inky blackness broken up by specks and swirls of light. It’s familiar. It scares her. It’s all she can see.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Asks Daniel softly. She looks up at him again, eyes pleading, don’t leave me, keep me safe. “Are you okay?”
Lai shudders. “это огромно,” She whispers. It’s vast.
Daniel hums and nods. “действительно.” Indeed, he tells her. “It’s our whole world.”
He leads her across the platforms in a complicated thread where her feet stutter and hesitate at times. She follows blindly, still staring around at this place, so big, so cold. She can hardly wrap her head around it. The sky outside is so dark, but is it still the sky with them in it? She doesn’t know. She isn’t sure she wants to know. The sky is their whole world, it seems.
They turn down another hall, plain ceiling tiles above them instead of stained glass. She follows them with her eyes, losing count every few, and follows Daniel by sound. His footsteps are steady, steady, then stop and Lai finds herself in a more shadowy room, where there’s a rustle of blended sounds and smaller doors that lead off into who knows where.
There are more people in there, in varying states of motion. A man with dark skin sits on a rounded, cushioned bench frowning and squinting at a flat, glowing object in his hand. Two children hover behind a different man who stands in a corner speaking to a woman with green eyes. In a chair near a doorway there is a girl with curly hair holding a book, turned sideways with her legs thrown over the arm of the chair. Scattered all about the room are little metal bottles that she is sure are full of water.
“Last one?” Asks the dark skinned man, looking up. He sets down the glowing thing and stands. “Took a while, didn’t it?”
“She did,” Daniel agrees, lightly squeezing Lai’s hand before letting go. She tries to not be upset at that. But then he puts his hand on her shoulder and it warms her. “This is Lai. She’s suffering from a touch of post-freeze memory loss, so if someone would like to help her settle in…”
The girl with the book unfolds herself from the chair. “I’ve got her, doctor,” She says in a lilting accent. “There is a bed in our cabin anyway, with Marla and her sister as well.” She offers Lai a smile. “I’m Esperanza.”
“Hello,” Lai says. This girl is taller than her, moves strangely. Her hair is long and curly. Lai thinks she is interesting.
“I will leave you to settle in,” says Daniel. Lai turns to watch him go and wishes he wouldn’t leave. “Желаю вам удачи,” He says in their shared first language. I wish you good luck.
#I HAVE THE SECOND CHAPTER FULLY WRITTEN AS WELL I JUST WANTED TO HAVE SOMETHING TO POST BEFORE DEADLINE DAY IS OVER#also i hope the russian is ok i had to source all my translations from the internet :(#anyway. yeah#the title is soooo weird to me idk if i like it but. parentheses.#it was going to be a reference to afterlife of the party but i already have two FOB references as chapter heading quotes so dsjkhdsjghkshg#figured i’d rein it in a little#Lu writes#inklings challenge#team lewis#genre: space travel#theme: burial#daniel is loosely inspired by prof. bhaer btw. just so you know#ok i’m done talking#it is 11:25pm on october 21st as i post this hopefully i made it under the deadline
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trying to write a sincere thank you note is so hard when you're genuinely so grateful to this person that the only thought racing through your head is that i'm soooo grateful instead of anything concrete but i will do it
#i had to bring a discussion prompt or just smt related to the topic of listening to my class today#and i ended up talking about this one prof that like cured my social anxiety in general and she has no fucking clue#i said this entire story and my prof was like what was the prof's name??#and i said [her name]#and he was like OH MY GOD i was her thesis supervisor!! and while listening to this i was wondering if it was her#which is such an insane compliment to her honestly that with minimal clues he thought it was her#i have thought of this woman randomly over the past 4 years being like. i hope her child is ok (she had a child at the start of covid)#nd praying that she actually becomes a prof because if she fucking doesn't the world is insane
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#ok i said i was goin to bed but lmao a few things. or maybe just 1#me this year compared to last year? what an astronomical difference#i think i really.... came into my own. like thats the saying right#i think im at the best ive ever been. and like..... honestly i never thought id be able to make friends again but lmao i made so many at#school and like it took awhile#and like i also Know im Different n Confident bc not only am i into someone irl.... i legit like..... purposefully got to know him#like usually i stay the fuck away. but like idk a switch happened. and im like ok but why NOT me???? like im cute.... im fun... all that#like !!!!! idk !!!! why not?????#so ya........... JDJDJDJDJJD maybe this doesnt seem like much but to me its a Huge Deal JDJDJJDMDMDMDMS#n i hope the trend continues this way !!!!#like heck i even talk so casually to the profs. like lmao who am i JDJDJDJDJDJD#i am worried tho.... that when i transition back to working in jan (lmao lets be real... probs wont get a job til after then).... that i'll#go back to being Closed Off#its just really hard for me to open up.... but idk i think this year has taught me that like..... it's worth it....#and ya.... hoping i can continue this !!!!!#personal
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#the problem with a mood profile that is mostly way down with peaks of way up is that when u return to a state of: the bullshit is easy.#i dont need to sleep. i could run around in circles. i could read a million papers. what kind of loser cant manage their life?#u r like: God fucking dammit i fucked up so much stuff. y tf didnt i do yhis at the time???? its so baffling like i went from fuck just let#me sleep forever to agitated and full of evil energy to like: ok im normal im gonna do the extraction ive been putting off for months#y couldnt i have been like this last week when i should have gathered a list of my failing students to the prof to make them withdrawal?#like y tf didnt i do that?????? i mean. its kind of a suspect way to run a class tbh bc u r artificially inflating ur score#but i could have saved like 6 ppl from an F. but i mean if u r struggling its sort of on u to reach out for help.#ugh. ive not been very good at my job this semester. but to b fair my brain has been trying very hard to kill me#genuinely i had to fill out a safety sheet in therapy and then go to a ta meeting where they were like: how r yall doing#? how do u feel abt the semester? and im just like aaaaaaaAAAaaaa 🙃#next semester i think im TAing for an online course. and im hoping its not bc i was so terrible they had to distance me from students lol#i mean. thats probably just me being paranoid but idk well see monday when i ask when the prof wants to meet before next semester#ay. its been a rougher semester than id hoped.#unrelated
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Just took the most needed shower on earth…
#currently en route to refill patches too which like obvi I wish I wasn’t. using them#but it’s good that I’m not going that long without e in me#anyways. hope y’all are doing ok sorry if I’ve been nasty recently#this was like maybe the most stressed I’ve ever been over a final project#bc it was spearheaded mostly by ppl who just did not give a shit#it was genuinely a miracle that the show came together half the kids did a shot of fireball beforehand#but our prof liked it!! Anton if ur out there ily#anyways I think once I get back on campus it’s dinner and then fold laundry & a nap for me#god yea I know I’m doing better bc I can actually see beauty in things again#the shower was a godsend tho it’s crazy how much that’ll help
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*taps mic* this thing on?
#r.txt#hi hi hi i miss being active sm i hate school :|#i still need a new computer too cause rn i cant run sims with anything installed it sucks ass#im excited for infants tho!!!! and the new pack im foaming at the mouth why do they make us pay for basic game things its so lame but wtvr!!#im just popping in for a min im on spring break but i still have hw :'((#just a few more months and maybe i can get a job and save enough for a new pc lets hope#im taking a photoshop/illustrator class and i rly hate my prof i havent learned anything i didnt already know#and we have to use MACS :| actually wanna fight its me vs apple products till i di#e#ive been playing vanilla for a bit and its not as fun but its alright#ive uploaded some houses to the gallery if anyone is interested ig i could post those to be semi active#i have literally sm to do in my life i hate being old (19) im basically dead#i say it every time but im going to make my return one day i swear it i love this community despite its many many flaws i miss everything#unfortunatly i have to deal w an 8-5 school schedule twice a week the rise and grind mindset is not for me#if i get time i might try to post more silly updates ive been doing but for now au revoir (adios) (im into tfb now smile)#ok bye aggain 4 nowsies
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Anyway in my opinion professor villainous and lord boxman are dating since pv's first appearance and pv just doesn't like boxman as much as boxman likes him
#random thoughts#ok ko#their situationship is complicated#like if boxman 100% stopped initiating meet-ups their relationship would fizzle out#it's like this cycle of 'im tired of being the only one initiating conversation im gonna wait til he calls me first'#to 'we haven't talked in like a week 🥺🥺🥺 i miss him'#boxy you're a strong independant chicken. android. thing. who don't need no man#also him calling pv pv is 100% warranted the full thing is a mouthfull#not even conveniently shortened to anything#i would just call him prof like a class clown who gets too chummy with his professors#is he even a professor. what's his field of study. biology?#anyway at the point in time which is the beginning of villains' night out (i paused at the beginning cuz. cringe)#pv thinks boxy is interesting and they share interests but he's not invested enough to label their relationship to one another#he's obviously annoyed with his . . . antics . . . but puts up with it? why?#putting up with him in the hopes that he puts out heyooooo#anyway i was looking up boxy's fan page for his villain level and guys. why is sonic there. why is sonic mentioned in the ok ko fanwiki.#im paused on the bit right before fink (im assuming she's gonna do this) notices and touches the clearly labeled DO NOT TOUCH barrel#and like girl PLEASE touch it and make pv get mad at boxy for it please#or just like start floating or some shit#pv's either gonna get mad or impressed#boxy's gonna assume he gets mad about it#why is fink like. six. she's so small#like boxy's minions are teenagers and also robots. fink is biological and also small. babey.
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art will be slowing down arch school is dragging me back GRAH
#cloudy rambles#i felt soooo good churning out all that stuff during my little break#hoping that i dont get burnt out this sem but i have a better studio prof so everything should hopefully be ok#still just as busy but at least the assignments have been alright for like. a first week
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Emails are weirdly intimidating. It’s not like texting where it’s informal with one word answers. It has to be formal enough to be ‘professional’, but if it’s too formal, it sounds corporate or plainly wrong. You put an emoji. It doesn’t seem like it’s the most appropriate emoji. You find a more socially acceptable emoji to replace it. It should be long enough to be cordial, but not too long that it becomes an eyesore. I’m made to say “Hey, what’s up!” not “Hello [name], I hope you’re having a good day.” I would rather write a 10 page handwritten letter delivered by a carrier pigeon.
#it’s exam time#emails#legit what is up with emails man#college#relatable#i hope#idk#i like the premise of emails don’t get me wrong#it’s a really cool way to correspond and it really connects the world as it uses the internet#but like#there are MANY rules and you get to learn them one step at a time since you’re old enough to write emails (middle school)#(at least in the states)#and i think it changes based on the discipline you’re in or the people you communicate with#communication is interesting#owl opines#also not the profs sending ‘ok’ from their phones as replies#not a bad thing it’s just funny sadlkjf
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The vibes in my life today were so…. Sinister.
#I didn’t get paid today because my managers email never sent#so my time sheet never got submitted#and it got solved#but now I’m fucked for 2 weeks#THEN#my friend reappeared at school after 3 weeks#and bro they were so unwell#and I know they really struggle with intense mental health and I’m just like oh fuck dude#but#we have a group assignment due on Tuesday and I’m just like#do you want an extension like please just ask for an extension#and they’re committed to not asking for one#and I’m just like neat cool#but I just remember looking at them and being like#ur so not ok rn and I don’t know like what to say#and then I’m just like still really struggling with people#just like talking to people#and just not being fucking afraid#and I just have this ugly feeling that I’ll never make a right move again#and I’m just like ok cool#I just need to watch some hockey and#idk hope tomorrow is kinder#on a nice note#my prof was really kind#when I needed some mercy#and that allowed some room of relief
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did work for animation class today
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Sorryyy I need somewhere to put my rage
#I AM. nervous and upset about how my math prof is handling our class.....#She tells us oh we're not going to use x website (THAT WE HAD 2 PAY FOR) and then haha jk I cancled class so yes go use it#Anyway I've been using it anyway bc I enjoy it BUT it literally gave me 2 days to finish 14 (!!!!!!) topics each of which take me 10-30 min#And then it closes the module and I can't learn anything from it!!!!#So I was like hoping to talk 2 my prof abt it and like make it easier but like I said she canceled class (her kid is sick so it's whatever)#She hasn't given us any fucking way to contact her outside of class AND hasn't given us a class schedule so I don't know when our tests are#Or what we're supposed to be learning in class#Like COME ON .#Ok. It's fine . I sent her an email (literally just had 2 guess what her email is) so hopefully she responds LMAO
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