#i just have to fake it till i make it. and practically run myself into the ground.

[faeskiss]

A DANGEROUS GAME

Zaros x reader!

It’s been weeks since the trials have begun, life has constantly been dragging me down, it just gets harder and harder, every trial is more difficult and draining than the last

Having the throne is MY birthright, no ruler in Serulla has had to fight for it since a millennia, so WHY me? Sometimes, I just want to get away from it all, to run away, and never look back, but I can’t do that, I’d never do that to my mother and I CERTAINLY won’t let Zaros win so easily

I can’t believe there was a time where I pined over him like a naïve, halfwit being, that sort of behaviour was certainly not appropriate for a dignified, future regnant like me, but I have since corrected myself

I won’t tolerate his constant brawling or his scorn insults anymore, I have let him throw cruel insults my way many times before , ignoring his contempt on purpose, letting it go, for I have to uphold my family’s name so I certainly should not be seen going around engaging in useless disputes

But if he strikes again, it might just get ugly, and the nobles might just have a new scandal to talk about for the rest of eternity

I am currently standing in the corner of the ballroom, it’s become my favourite spot these days, a corner, but I fear I simply don’t have it in me to fake smiles and engage in asinine chatter with these duplicitous people tonight

the party is in full swing, people are dancing and getting drunk on wine and mindless gossip, yes another day, another party, "a well deserved break” as my mother likes to call it

I take another sip of my drink, that’s when I notice Zaros joking and laughing with a group of nobles, he then proceeds to give them the most charming smile I have ever seen, he used to smile at me like that…all.the.time, he's been doing this all night, dancing, mingling with every single person at this party except for me…….not that I care, I'd rather stay far, far away from him

a sudden wave of unease washes through me, why is he smiling at random people when he hasn’t even approached me all night? Am I really THAT uninteresting and repulsive to him? I thought he hated all nobles with a surging passion? So why is he smiling and laughing with them and NOT me?

Oh god, I sound like an obsessed lovefool, but seeing him be so affectionate and content with other people, well to put it lightly stings…..a bit, there was once a time in our lives where we were completely, inseparable, that in itself feels like a lifetime ago but it still hurts to reminisce …..is it…possible…that I’m jealous….right now?

I shake my head vehemently, no no no no, no it can’t be, it’s just the champagne getting to my head, I quickly put my glass down on the table near me, not liking the way the intoxicant is making me think, perhaps I just need to distract myself

I roam around the ballroom till I find my mother talking to the judges of the trials, reluctantly, I join in the conversation, they are talking about all the progress so far, oh god, why are they talking about the trials at a party that is meant to be a break FROM the trials…

“How are you liking the party my dear” my mother asks

“It’s lovely, thank you for organising it” I reply with a faint smile

“And how’s Zaros? Is he having fun?” she asks

I wouldn’t know cause he hasn’t spoken a word to me all night, but from the looks of it, he’s having a fucking blast

“I’m sure he’s enjoying himself as well” I say

I stand near the group, pretending to listen earnestly, but I can’t stop stealing glances at Zaros, the way he dances, his constant laughter, his soft smile, he just looks so happy, at this point my eyes are practically locked on him, that is until he catches me peering at him

Horrified, I abruptly turn away, so much so I’m pretty sure I strained my neck in the process

“Are you okay earis? You look a bit rattled” one of the judges asks me

“Oh no, no, no I’m perfectly fine, just a bit overwhelmed, you know how draining these parties can be” I reply awkwardly

The song ends and so does the dance with it, the sound of clapping and laughter echoes through the ballroom

“If you’re feeling tired please don’t hesitate to go and rest, you’re probably already exhausted from the stress of the trials, I

want you to feel your best and healthiest my love” says my mother as she gives me a warm smile

“You’re right, I should probably retire for the night, thank you for understanding” I say quite tiredly

“Well then, it’s been an enjoyable day but I must go and rest, it was a pleasure spending time with you all and I hope you all had a wonderful evening, good night!” I bid goodbye to the group and start to make my way out

I am almost out of the room when I suddenly feel someone grab a hold of my arm

confused and quite shocked at the sudden gesture, I turn swiftly, and when I do I am met with those familiar, piercing green eyes staring right into mine, mischief gleaming in them

“And where do you think you’re going?” asks Zaros in a low, strict tone

“I just feel a bit tired, so I thought I’d end the night early, why? Do you have a problem with that too” I reply, an unexpected irritation plaguing my voice

“Tired already? You haven’t even danced, my, my, you of all people should know that it’s rude for a royal to not engage with the party thrown by their own family, it’s not a good look on your part” he says with a stupid, sly smirk on his face

“Shouldn’t my disgrace only add to your elation?” I ask with all the heartlessness my voice can muster

“Oh trust me it does” he says with a stupid laugh as if I’ve shared an intriguing jest

“How about you quit your baseless play and tell me what you want, I have better places to be” I sneer

“What like your room?" he says with that same stupid laughter

"Well I was originally coming over to ask you to dance with me, but I got distracted by your cold demeanour, so back to what I actually approached you for, would you be so kind as to join me for a dance?” he asks

“I’m not sure if you’ve always been this stupid or it’s the wine talking, why would I dance with you after your constant jabs? I don’t care, leave me alone” I hiss

“Alright then, let’s make this a little more interesting, take it as a challenge, I challenge you to dance with me, if you refuse, you lose, and I’ll win, like always” he says with a hint of mischief in his voice

“Oh fuck you, as if I’ll fall for your stupid trick” I scoff

“Alright then, off to bed with you, loser” he replies in a slow mocking manner….

I can feel my anger, hot and red, slowly flaming up inside of me, I know I shouldn’t fall for his trap, but I can’t let him have this, not after all his constant insults, I’ll take this opportunity to fuck with his brain a little, two can play this game

“Fine, I’ll dance with you, but only.one.song” I say in a strict manner

“That’s more like it” he replies with that same stupid smirk

He offers me his hand, I have no choice but to take it, we make our way to the middle of the floor and suddenly everyone starts to gape in our direction, how could they not? two rivals sharing a dance is certainly a sight to keenly watch….

The music is rather slow and soulful, the kind you'd play at a wedding for couples to dance to….I can't believe I have to dance with him to such a song

He slowly encircles my waist with his arm, and grabs one of my hands, intertwining our fingers, my free hand resting on one of his shoulders, this form is rather intimate and it makes me blush a bit…..this is so embarrassing, we slowly start moving, it's nothing fancy and I mostly follow his lead

"God your form is utterly terrible tonight, certainly the worst out of anyone I've danced with so far at this party" he mocks

"Do you ever stop running your fucking mouth? WHY did you even ask me to dance with you?" I ask in frustration

"Oh please lighten up, I'm just messing with you, learn to take a joke for once" he replies in a annoyed manner

I roll my eyes and swallow my anger, I want to get back at him but I'm scared to cause a scene, people expect a certain grace and courtesy from me than him, I think I'd rather live up to that

He twirls and dips me once, I am aware of all the times his hands brush against my skin, gentle and subtle, there's a certain unexpected sincerity in his touch, it's alive with vulnerability and tenderness, something I definitely don't expect from him

he dips me again, and as I come up, he traces his fingers down my back and pulls me in, my chest flutters in response, what the hell is he doing? I suddenly realise the swift shift in the atmosphere between us, I instantly notice exactly HOW close he is to me right now, oh this is dangerous, so very dangerous

"Zaros what the hell are you doing? You're way too close!" I whisper to him frantically

"I am as close as I need to be" he says in a low, soft and magnetic tone

He suddenly turns me so that my back faces him, my mind is reeling and whirling with a million thoughts "as close as I need to be" what does that even mean? Is this one of his tricks to torture me? I should've never accepted his proposal, I should've just gone to sleep

That’s when I suddenly feel his voice sneak into my ears, I can feel my heartbeat quickening by the second, I can feel his warmth creeping up on me, it’s all such a feverish daze…

"By the way, don't think I forgot your constant stares in my direction earlier, do I really look that ravishing tonight?" he says, his voice is laced with reckless yearning and temptation so deep….I think I might drown in it if I’m not careful

“Don’t flatter yourself” I say with restraint

“I thought we promised to never lie to each other, hmm?” he replies

I stay silent, not really knowing how to respond

“Well one of us needs to be honest here, I think, you’re the most alluring being to grace these palace walls….dare I say this world? Sometimes I lie awake at night, thinking of those torturous lips of yours, what they would feel like against my own, to feel your skin melt under my touch, it’s funny actually, I’ve had partners before, but none of them have left me as lovelorn as you”

I try to speak, but my mouth fails me, I try to think but it’s like I’m paralysed, I am completely and utterly under his mercy,

The song is nearing it’s end and so is my composure, the only thing my mind can register is his agonizingly tempting voice and the scandalous words it whispers that are both, making me want to die of shame and kiss him till I forget my own name

"wh-where is all this coming from, I thought you loathed me?" I ask in a shaky voice

"Contempt and desire can co-exist, they're similar emotions in a way, both will make you go insane for the person you feel them towards and who wouldn't go insane for you" he says as he lifts my chin, his thumb lightly traces my lower lip, my body shudders in response to his touch, I've completely forgotten that people might be staring at us, but I couldn't care less, I can only hope that people are drunk out of their minds to even notice us, his hand travels back to my waist but this time his grip is tighter, we stare into each other's eyes for the rest of the dance, both unable to act on our heart's true desire for there is way too much at stake

After one last turn, the song ends and so does the dance

"We still have a lot to figure out, you and I, I can't believe I'm saying this but…..I quite enjoyed the dance and I certainly look forward to-"

I suddenly feel his soft,warm lips on my cheek, my world stops, the kiss is soft and gentle, empty of vain or ill intent, just a pure kiss that one might share with their lover, the crowd around us gasps in shock and disbelief, but all I can focus on is the shameless yet charming smile on his lips, it's the same smile my eyes have been dying to see for the past eight years, and for the first time in a long time

my heart skips a beat

[journey-to-balance]

I woke up feeling anxious, readied myself feeling nervous, fussed with my hair a little too long for my own liking, and by the time I sat in that chair, a long forgotten, but all too familiar feeling of anticipatory dread engulfed me. Suddenly, I had become that once vulnerable, insecure young girl again, sitting in a classroom waiting for the results of that all or nothing exam. Except now, I am a middle aged woman, and the stakes are much higher. Was I prepared? Was I ready? Did I do enough? So much was riding on this visit, and the promise I made to myself exactly one year ago. My Bernie offered to come with me, but I declined the offer. After all, it was me against me, and always has been.

There I was, having just turned 53 a few days prior, sitting in a doctor's office. The nurse had just taken my blood pressure. "It's 160 over 91, she frowned. Do you always run this high?" No, I said, as she hurriedly typed. Not usually. After she left, I instinctively reached for my cell phone only to stare at my face. Was my high blood pressure visible? Should I retouch my roots? Did I wear the right foundation? Minutes in that poorly lit room felt like an eternity, but I was determined to record the day to keep myself accountable. So I snapped the photo anyway.

No sooner did I place my phone back in my purse, than my doctor enter the room, a forty-something, soft spoken, Jordanian born endocrinologist with an affinity for vegetable gardening.

After exchanging the typical and expected greetings, he asked how I was feeling and proceeded to sit in front of his charts. I answered truthfully, told him that I was at my one year anniversary into my healing journey and was anxious about my recent test results. He smiled, enough so that I could feel myself exhaling, while his voice seemed to fade further and further away.

The Holy Spirit blessed me that day. Now, I am so grateful I could cry.

A year ago, I had officially succumbed to morbid obesity, weighing in at a whopping 207lbs. I lived with chronic fatigue, hair loss, insomnia, brain fog, and worse, I didn't recognize myself anymore. Was this middle age? Was this my new normal? I had hit rock bottom. Years of walking, years of hiking, years of gardening, and lifting, and digging, and pruning, and mulching, and tilling, and for what? Menopause. My endocrine system was off balance, my lymphatic system, metabolism had slowed to a crawl. I already had one suspicious nodule removed from my left breast, and two suspicious nodules removed from my thyroid. My body had officially become acidic, potentially opening the flood gates to disaster. It was clear I needed to make a drastic change, and I needed to become passionate about it, even obsessed if it were to work.

First things first, I stopped eating out. I needed to gain control of ingredients and therefore overall nutrition. At first this felt like punishment. I stopped hosting, entertaining. No liquor, no temptation, no excess food, no nonsense. Swapped Teflon for copper and cast iron as I was anemic, low in vitamin b-12, low in vitamin D, magnesium, just to name a few. I doubled down on eating simple meals, by focusing on nutritious, whole food. Naturally, I expanded my garden, growing more, doing more, learning more. Like I said, obsessed, for the first time in a long time. In fact, the last time I was this disciplined or "obsessed" about something was back when I was living in Israel and practicing Hebrew for 5 hours a day.

Finally, and most importantly, I gave up all sugar. Yes, all sugar. This was the hardest part, and it took about 3 months for my mood to stabilize and more critically, for it to become a habit. Yes, not even in my coffee. Today I take in my sugar from fruit and only fruit. Nothing artificial, nothing processed, nothing fake, nothing that makes me feel like a fake.

The results? inflammation is way down, energy is way up! I can happily say I wake up at 5 am without the need for an alarm and I now weigh 148 lbs. As for the numbers? Let me explain my doctor's smile. Cholesterol went from 240 to 185, now within normal range, A1C pre-diabetic readings went from 6.7 to 5.6. I am now out of danger and within normal range. Finally, two remaining nodules in my thyroid have shrunk in size. I see the light at the end of the tunnel and am more determined than ever before. And, I'll never go back. This feels like a rebirth.

So, you see, dear friends, I am not ignoring you, and I am beyond grateful for the birthday messages, caring and loving words. But, I had to focus and do my work, ethically, holistically, intentionally, consistently. Naturally and without shortcuts.

I simply needed to get to a point in my life where I loved myself, more than I loved my addiction to excess, in any and all forms it showed up.

Happy Birthday to me. This is relieved, hopeful and grateful 53...

My healing journey and my journey to balance ... continues.

Till next time. With love. Maritza

[itsbenedict]

Last year, rather than pick a new years' resolution, I made over a dozen new years' resolutions and tried to get them all done. I paced myself with the objective of fitting them all into the year, but... ran into an unexpected obstacle where I kind of didn't have an October, November, or December due to my company abruptly getting sold and my life turning into a nonstop living hell. With that in mind... how'd I do?

get star seeker sequel adventure thing up and running and through the first case

Didn't finish this one! I did start it in September, and I was making good progress and probably would've had it done by the end of the year if I'd had three months to work on it.

get datasouls combat toy complete up to the first miniboss combat

Did it! Tutorial section combat toy is playable on the site.

catch up on TFJ recap logs

Didn't do it! There were a lot of them, and I kind of got bottlenecked on one where I wanted to wait for an art commission to come in that got put off for most of the year. I got sixteen of them done, but more sessions than that happened during the year, so overall I'm behind. Womp womp.

become an accredited AWS Certified Solutions Architect and get that raise my boss has been talking about for ages

Ha ha ha ha did it technically. I did get certified, and I did get the raise, but the raise was more a product of aggressive salary negotiation when the company got sold and my boss got fired. Also accomplishing the second part of that one resulted in me losing a quarter of my year to nightmarish IT bullshit. Oops.

get an adjustable standing desk and under-desk elliptical thingy, and otherwise get an ergonomic workstation set up

Kinda did it. I did, technically, get both things, but the elliptical I got turns out isn't rated for standing use, so I couldn't combine them into a standing workflow the way I wanted. Gotta get a new one and actually put this into practice.

fix the light situation in the bathroom

Yeah just had to call an electrician. Did it no problem.

get through The Sekimeiya and really go to town on that mystery until it’s solved

Nope! Again, probably would've managed it if I'd had time, but I put it off till last since I figured it'd be an easy thing I could fit in around the busy holidays, and it turned out there was a lot worse than just the holidays going on at that time.

also finally play Disco Elysium

This one though- did it, that game is fucking phenomenal.

finish TFTBN character portraits

Did it! Proud of how those turned out.

get a beatrice portrait for my poster wall

run some TPIVW games

Didn't do it, mainly because of an awkward social situation with one of the server participants involving my role as a mod on a different server. Still working that one out. It's rough.

badger the condo association landlady until she does something about the junk clogging up that basement storage room i’m supposed to own, and clean unused bulky stuff out of my house

Did it! Mostly. Still need to get rid of this huge elliptical- it's not selling on craigslist for some reason.

clearly this waitlist thing isn’t working out so take some steps to see an actual doctor for the first time in like three years (and maybe get a cancer screening, or do something about that closed sinus)

Did it! Didn't get the cancer screening mainly because my doctor insisted it'd be unnecessary until I was at least 40, which sounds fake but I don't know enough about cancer to dispute it. I tried various nasal sprays for the sinus thing but I'm pretty sure mucus overproduction is not the issue and I'm gonna need to get surgery, which I didn't get yet. But I did see a doctor finally!

get through the remaining 7 WaniKani levels

Did it! Still need to finish off the remainder of the reviews and do a practice pass and get back on the horse with grammar, but I'm pretty happy about that accomplishment.

Overall, despite a weak finish due to factors mainly outside of my control, I think I did pretty well, and I think having the big list meant I had a much more productive 2023 than I would've had otherwise. Probably gonna make this a recurring thing!

[dgttwisted]

The invitation {fake event}

part one of two

story includes some of my Oc’s as well as cannon characters

“To who this letter

may concern the owner

of these fine pair of wings

resides in the abandoned castle

due north of the portal on lost isle

in the peter meadows

we hope to see you there~”

Matilda received this letter during the middle of her shift at the mostro lounge it alarmed her to say the least. she left in the middle of her shift without a word to Azul which was strange already but what really let the others know that something was up is that she left her coffee untouched.

This caught Jade’s attention immediately it would have caught Floyd’s attention if he had showed up to work at all that day. Jade left Azul at least a small heads up before he disappeared following Matilda who moved quite fast for someone as tired as she was.

in the hallway stumbled across the note he had noticed she was reading it must have slipped from her grasp when she was rushing off. Well waste not want not Jade caught himself up to speed with the letter. he was surprised a letter with this many typo’s could set Matilda off like this till he noticed the picture of a pair of wings. “hmm” Jade remembered while it was a brief exchange that Matilda had a fea friend that she was rather fond of but can’t see all the time because she’s a rather busy fairy. 

Now Jade couldn’t let this opportunity slide a chance to visit meadows on a island that most humans aren’t allowed to enter. ‘three day camping trip’ sprang to his mind an that made him smile.

“she hadn’t packed anything i would be a terrible classmen not to help in her plight~” he practically cued as he grabbed a back pack of camping supplies made his way to the portal room. running into an upset Matilda an the Headmaster, Lilia, Sebek an little prefect Lilith were there as well.

-

Crowley was blocking her path an the fact that Lilia was supporting him was frustrating to say the least she doesn’t have time for this. 

“the longer time i waste here the more danger Christiane is in move from my path before i make you!” Matilda standing her ground the magic surrounding her made it known she was serious 

“you’re not thinking clearly Matilda this could be a trap they could be luring you that to trap you” Lilia said also standing his ground not the first time he’s had to fight her over small things that she took very seriously.

“LADY MATILDA SHOULD TAKE HER SAFETY SERIOUSLY!” Sebek shouts spooking Lilith a little

“are you implying I am incapable of taking care of myself?” she states already very irritated

“nonsense he’s worried after all you as well as your brother are fea royalty they can’t just send you someplace unguarded especially if that place might me a trap” Headmaster Crowley chimed in trying to calm everyone down

Lilith the smallest an probably the most confused in the room still spoke up “u-um if that's the case t-then I can go with her that way she won’t be alone!” everyone in the room immediately simmered down hearing a child of all people suggest such a thing.

Lilia knelt down an gave Lilith a head pat “that was very sweet of you to offer Lilith but this is probably to dangerous for you” this made lilith a little sad “but i want to help if Matilda’s friend is in danger i want to help!” 

“if her going alone is the only problem i’d be more then happy to lend a hand” Jade’s voice sprang up caused everyone to look in his general direction. Jade his polite scheming smile on his face as he approached. handing the letter back to Matilda “you dropped this”

Matilda took the letter back then showed it to Lilia “you think I’m just going to sit back an wait for a second letter? Lilia you know me better then that!”

Lilia thought for a moment then spoke “understood on one condition i will allow you to go”

Matilda didn’t hesitate as she spoke “name it an it’s done”

Lilia’s serious face turned into a smile “Sebek is going with you no take backs!”

Matilda was to tired to be fully annoyed but acknowledged she fully walked into that of her own accord an had to accept that. “very well he can accompany me”

Sebek was shining with pride over being able to help Matilda on the other end Lilith was sad “Sebek’s allowed to go why can’t i go?”

Matilda spoke to her “we don’t know who we are up against i don’t want anything to happen to our little prefect don’t worry Lilith when i return i promise that you will be the first person i visit” she holds out her pinkie knowing that Lilith takes pinkie promises very seriously.

Lilith holds her pinkie with her own “you better or I’m gonna be upset” sounds like a childish threat but Lilith is a child after all.

-

Jade, Sebek an Matilda have been sent to the lost isle the portal is dead center of the island. Matilda didn’t stop to take the sights in she stided north from the portal the fact she could see the castle so far off only pissed her off more she’d fly all the way there however she promised to do this with Sebek an Jade.

they seemed to be at pace with her though she seems more dead set on the castle then they are. “don’t slow me down” she spoke though it sounded more cold then her usual deadpan tired way of speaking.

Jade followed behind with almost a pep in his step he brought a camrea though he will have to hold off on taking pictures until there return trip. he was feeling very optimistic despite what is basically a hostage situation they would be walking into.

they practically hiked all day Jade suggested camp Matilda wanted to keep going but Jade interjected with “while it is very admirable that you want to keep moving until your legs give out it’s not very practical you won’t be able to help your friend if all of us are sleep deprived an starving”

though Matilda is in a consent state of sleep deprived she did understand what he was getting at with a heavy heart she relented for now “fine but i will take first watch!” she demanded 

Jade who was already setting up the tent “no arguments here!” he said with delight

“I SHALL TAKE ON THE SECOND WATCH!” Sebek spoke up

“not so loud sebek whoever has Christiane might hear you” Matilda spoke with a sigh

“my apologize lady Matilda!” Sebek spoke now feeling bad

“it’s fine, Sebek you should gets some wood for the fire but don’t wander off where i can’t see you” Sebek getting this order from Matilda made his confidences sore he collected way to much firewood in the span of 5 minutes 

Jade had packed food for the three day travel though had only packed for two of them. “it’s not a big deal i can kill something if we need more food” Matilda said bluntly as she ate her soup

later in the night when Sebek woke up to take his shift Matilda said “no need Jade actually took the first watch so i shall be taking the second one go back to sleep Sebek” Sebek just accepted this as the truth went back to sleep after all they had another two days of hiking to do.

[tcaseyhart]

on Tokens

Let’s talk about SI tokens—my little way of tracking progress, patting myself on the back, and making sure I acknowledge my successes as much as I acknowledge my challenges.

I recently joined this amazing Autism group, and wow, it’s been an experience. I came in right as the group was wrapping up what I can only describe as a civil war. The mod had been micromanaging because they were nervous about running a group properly (relatable). But instead of doubling down, they straight-up apologized for how they handled things. And the group? Completely forgiving.

The comments were so warm and understanding—people were like, “Hey, no big deal. You’re learning. Let’s move forward.” That’s the kind of community I’ve been missing, which is why I’m so glad to be back on Tumblr. This place still has that real, unpolished energy where people show up as themselves and want connection, not perfection.

And honestly, that vibe aligns so well with Sociointentionalism that it feels like the right time to start explaining it here ahead of the book launch. Let’s start with SI tokens—because they’re a simple, practical tool that anyone can try.

SI tokens are basically little markers I use to track my progress with Sociointentionalism. But more than that, they’re a way for me to celebrate my wins—even the tiny ones. Life is hard, and sometimes you have to be your own cheerleader. Tokens remind me to pause and say, “Hey, you’re doing okay.”

Here’s how it works: I think about what I’ve done recently and whether it aligns with the values of Sociointentionalism. Did I act with balance? Did I show kindness—to myself or others? Was I intentional in what I did? If the answer is yes, I give myself a token.

Lately, I’ve spent way too much time on Tumblr instead of writing. Normally, I’d be annoyed at myself for procrastinating. But when I think about it, I realize I’ve been connecting with people (which supports Trivita—Total Well-Being of mind, body, and soul), having fun and letting myself recharge (Self-Satisfaction), and balancing my priorities, because the relationships I’ve built here are making the book stronger.

So, I added a big token to my fulfillment board. That moment of reflection reminded me that it’s okay to slow down and enjoy life.

And you know what? 2024 was a huge year for me. Painful, transformative, necessary—but still huge. I never gave myself credit for just getting through it. Maybe I’ll add another token for that, because why not? If you can’t celebrate surviving a tough year, what can you celebrate?

SI tokens are about recognizing your efforts and honoring the journey, not pretending everything’s perfect. It’s not toxic positivity or “fake it till you make it.” It’s about being real with yourself.

Some days, you’re killing it. Other days, just making it to bedtime feels like a win. Both of those deserve recognition. SI tokens remind me to give myself that recognition—and maybe they can do the same for you.

Edit Jan 21 2025

I wanted to add an important note. SI encourages the trading of tokens and giving them as gifts. The importance of this is two fold. First it's an easy thing to give to people, which is pretty and unusual, so its great for community building and good favor. Secondly, trading them in exchange for things or as rewards turns them into literal social currency. Now when you put that thing on your board, it means as much as it meant to the person who picked it out for you.

Tokens are for us to learn how to associate our accomplishments with positive tangible growth. When we share that with others it builds community, AND increases the value of the philosophy itself. Every person who receives or uses a token is participating in a world beyond extrinsic rewards, while literally externalizing their growth for the world to see. SI isn't about defeating extrinsic value. It's about balance.

We are social animals. Sure it'd be nice if we all could cut out the need for outside validation tomorrow. We can't, so lets lean into it. Its always easier to do something when someone else is rooting for you. The moment you share a token and someone puts it on their board, you are validating yourself and them, all without the need for money or power.

If you’re curious or want to know more, let me know. Let’s keep this conversation going.

-signed Casey

[bemylord]

ꜱ/ᴏ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴄʟɪɴɢʏ

characters: satoru, itadori, megumi, toji, nanamin, sukuna.

warnings: it's not an angst, but it has triggers because they screamed at you :( [toji and sukuna parts bc yall know those man] + grammar issues. [aged up?]

butler's remark: it was hard to write yuuji, megumi and gojou parts bc they are good and sweet boys and i practically cry. i also had decided to do as a hdc not in the fake text. i did a reader with a strong character.

apologies part.

ɪᴛᴀᴅᴏʀɪ ʏᴜᴜᴊɪ:

pls no. i can't even imagine that yuuji would scream to you or say you're bothering him.

but, okay, that's why you're reading this.

you just wanted a piece, a little bit, some, of yuuji's attention while he was training.

you came to him from behind, wrapping hands around his neck.

you were happy to finally see and hug your boyfriend, planning to spend an evening watching some tv-shows.

suddenly, yuuji turned to you, and instead of the usual: 'sweetie, i'm so happy to see you let's watch the tv or eat ramen!'

he answered: 'i'm busy, y/n, let's talk later.'

being busy by doing something is totally normal.

but he could at least said you not cold as that. he turned around his body, continuing to do the same thing.

'but i missed you, yuuujiii~' you stretched out [?] his name in a smile, clinging to his shoulders again.

'can you not being clingy y/n, i'm trying to train. give me some space, you're starting to annoy me!'

you were standing there with doe eyes - he had never screamed at you.

'yeah? whatever, itadori. i'm gonna cuddle with megumi-kun, good training.'

you left the room with tears in the corner of your eyes. you'll give the space that yuuji had mentioned - you won't be talking with him for some days or weeks, therefore he'll know he should watch his mouth. [to follow what he says]

ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ ᴍᴇɢᴜᴍɪ:

he came back to the dorm late after training with satoru.

you, being the lovely girlfriend ever, wanted to help megumi: you filled the bathtub with water, made delicious dinner, and find a good movie to watch after bath. maybe, it isn't a romantic thing, but it'll help him to release the tension in the muscle.

'megumi, you finally here!' you had green your boyfriend with a warm hug, as you always do, cupped his face to kiss him.

you were about to give a kiss, when 'gumi intercepted your hands, looking at you tiredly.

'how was the train? you must be tired, that's why i made for you bath and dinner.'

you walked into the living room as you heard him muttering.

'you always being so annoying and so mommy [i mean, hyper custody], i am not a child, y/n, i can help myself.'

'gomen-gomen, megumi, i just wanted to help you relax.'

'stop being like that! that's annoying, i'll take a bath alone, without you.'

you saw bruises and abrasions on his face - he must be angry about that. you have known how megumi hates to be beaten gojou or todou.

you decided not to answer, only waiting till his fury will calm down and he will apologize.

ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ ᴛᴏᴊɪ:

i want to confess right away - i'm already afraid of him.

toji should be about to return home from a mission any minute now.

you had baked apple pie and made dinner, anticipating for your husband to arrive.

you only overheard heavy footsteps in the living room, immediately run to see him.

'my love, you back home.' you were about to kiss him, when he turned his head, pronouncing:

'don't touch me.'

his obnoxious nature. over the years of living with him you have taught him to be more gentle with you.

'use better words, toji.'

'i will talk to you as i want, woman. the fact you are my wife doesn't mean i'll be docile.'

'don't talk to me like that, i'm yo-'

'shut up, you're just a wife who comes when i need her. don't exalt yourself. don't be clingy.'

notwithstanding your strong character, tears start to roll down on cheeks.

'i have no intention of being your servant, toji. find another 'wife', i'm leaving.'

ɢᴏᴊᴏ ꜱᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ:

as you know, gojou satoru is a playful guy, who wants to tease you like 24/7.

you never thought that gojou would scream at you due to you being clingy. it happened, tho.

you are basically just like him, naughty and agile, waiting for him after work so you could take gojou in your arms and kiss him.

when you heard as the door opened, you ran to hug him. however, when you were anticipating to him to do the same, he uttered: 'let go of me.'

you thought he wanted to hug you first, so you've wrapped your arms around your neck tighter.

'did i not make myself clear? get off me. you being so clingy and intrusive.'

'i missed you, 'toru.'

'we see each other every single day, let me spend a few days alone, don't act like a child, stop being sticky'

when you heard the last word, you get off your boyfriend, watching as he slowly walking into the living room, not look at you.

'a few days alone? fine, gojo, whatever. all you want, i'm leaving.'

you grabbed your phone, leaving the house.

ɴᴀɴᴀᴍɪ ᴋᴇɴᴛᴏ:

you had mentioned that you might be clingy or sticky, demanding a lot of attention, when you on the period.

he agreed, laughed at your words. 'i always be with you anywhen, angel.'

as silly as it may sound, you wrapped your arms on a pillow, which was smelling like him, imagining it was kento.

you heard as a door opened, cheerfully coming down to greet your boyfriend.

'welcome home, darling, i was waiting for you to have some.. cuddles!' you straighten arms on him, expecting kento hugs you.

'it seems as you need me only for that, y/n.'

'no, darling, of course not. how was your day? tell me while we're gonna have a bath.'

'that's what i'm talking about. can it be only one day when you stop being sticky like that? i'm tired from work i want to be alone.'

you were speechless. you mumbled something illegible, step backward.

'y-yeah, s-sure..'

you walk in the bathroom, hiding your tears from him. as soon as you found yourself in the room, you sob.

'he just tired. i-i won't cry.'

you let your boyfriend spend an evening on his own, trying not to cry.

ꜱᴜᴋᴜɴᴀ ʀʏᴏᴍᴇɴ:

disclaimer: the king was really mad today, exactly today when you wanted to cuddle him.

you came to his domain, happy and shine like the sun - you've moved up in the ranks, isn't that a success?

you baked muffins, the kind that the king likes - with chocolate, and garnished with nuts on top. [it's only my opinion]

so, when you stood in front of a pile of skulls, sukuna unexpectedly said: 'you should leave. now.'

'huh?' you turned your head on the left, in a curious gesture, waiting for him to explain.

you did a step forward, thought you misunderstood him.

he didn't even look at you, sitting on the throne like you ain't here like you're sort of a slave, not a girlfriend.

'i've got so good news, sukuna. the first i had baked muff-'

before you could've finished the sentence, he used cursed energy to stop you, knocking the treats out of your hands.

'i fucking said you to leave my domain, woman. are you that stupid? and stop being clingy, it's irritating me.'

you knew his nature, you knew he might indicate something offensive, but, that one - above hurtful.

'what's wrong, the king?' you said his position mockingly, going down the skulls, looking at his back. 'go to hell, i'll tell it itadori. be here alone, sukuna.'

well, shall i do a part two with apologies? also sorry for kinda sad post.

[?] - pls corrent me if i used the wrong word.

↳ back to the main master list.

[quillsandtypos]

The Edge in Revenge

Words: 3k

Warnings: smut, degradation, female oral receiving, sexual edging, and underage drinking mentioned (NO SEASON 2 SPOILERS, I just started watching season one but I needed to get this out of my head)

Pairings: JJ Maybanks x fem!reader

...........................................

JJ really shouldn’t have been the one to underestimate what you were capable of doing in the name of revenge. He’d been fucking with you all day. It had started that morning, you were alone in his kitchen as the other Pogue’s were still asleep. He had you pinned up against the wall lightly sucking on the side of your neck. As he trailed down to your collarbone he suddenly pulled away. You furrowed your brows at him but he just winked and smirked before he walked away; leaving you wet and confused.

Then later after lunch he managed to get you alone before you and the other pogue’s went out on the water. You were still inside grabbing the cooler, as everyone else was already on the boat. He snuck up behind you unbeknownst to you. You felt his hot breath on his ear. “You need help with that princess?” he asked cockily. You felt his warm cock press against the back of your ass, and his hand was at the small of your back.

“Oh definitely,” you responded eagerly. You turned to him as he easily pulled you in with one arm around your back, and the other at the back of your neck. Your lips interlocked, and you hungrily kissed him back, almost begging for more. But just as the time before, he quickly pulled back. Grabbing the cooler from behind you and heading out the door. With a ‘thanks!’ and a barely contained giggle. Oh he was a dead man, you decided right then that revenge was most definitely an order.

So you came up with the perfect scheme. If he wanted to play that game, then he would quickly learn who he was quite literally playing with.

“Ki,” you said. You quickly pulled her away from the boys. “I need a favor, I need you to get JB and Pope away from JJ.”

“Do I even want to know?” she laughed.

“It’s in the name of revenge,” you offered hopefully. She let out a long fake sigh.

“Hmm, let me think,” she took a long pause.

She cracked a smile. “I’m just kidding, you should’ve started with the revenge part.”

“Yes! Thank you,” you said, hugging her tightly.

“Come on JB, we’re gonna go help Pope with whatever he’s doing in the kitchen,” she said, pulling him along.

“What? Oh, okay,” John agreed confusedly as he awkwardly followed her.

And so then there were two. You casually flopped yourself down on JJ’s lap, who seemed slightly startled at first, but then just wrapped his arms around your waist. As much as it was a sweet gesture, you didn’t sit there to be sweet, so you needed to ruin the moment. Lightly, you rolled your hips back so you went right across his dick, and then rolled forward, making sure to move slowly but applying a small amount of your body weight as pressure. You weren’t certain he was giving you a look that could kill, but you didn’t bother looking. But what you did do was speed up a little bit until you felt his dick grow hard.

Smiling a smug grin you moved to get off of him. But his arms helds you there. He swiftly pulled you down onto his chest so your right ear was directly next to his mouth. “When we are alone next, I’m gonna fuck you till you’re screaming,” he whispered lowly.

You adjusted your head so you could see his face. “As if you could ever have that effect on me,” you smirked.

“Care to up the stakes then? Or are you too chicken?” His eyes gleamed, and at the same time so did your’s.

“Name your price,” you said confidently.

“If I can get you to beg, then you owe me a six pack of beers.”

“That’s it?” you asked, surprised.

He raised his eyebrows, “Fine, a six pack of beers, and you have to go skinny dipping with me next Friday night.”

“But I have to work next Friday,” you suddenly remembered.

“What? Not feelin so cocky now princess? Afraid you’ll lose?” he taunted.

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Of course not. So what do I get if I can make you beg?” You poked him in the chest for emphasis.

“Alright, if you win, then you get me as your personal boat driver, or person who gets you things, or whatever,” he offered.

“You sure that’s quite a high bargain JJ?” you now taunted back.

“Yeah, I’m not worried,” he replied cockily. He offered you his hand to shake and you took it.

“Prepare to be my personal maid,” you said.

“You better prepare to beg,” he countered.

You moved off of him just as your friends came out of the kitchen. “You guys wanna come with, we’re going for a night swim?” Johnny B offered.

“Nah, we might be out later though,” JJ answered before you could.

“Suit yourselves,” Pope shrugged. Kiera sent you a wink before also heading out the door with them.

JJ and you practically booked it to his room as soon as they shut the door. You quickly grabbed a condom from his drawer where you knew them to be by memory. You turned to throw him the condom to see that he was already on his bed with his shirt off. Every piece of your body was drawn to his chest and the way his back muscles looked in the low light, but you weren’t going to let him know that. So you deflected.

“Someone’s eager,” you commented.

“I-” JJ started to defend himself but the comment got stuck in his throat as he watched your movements. You began slipping your shirt off to reveal a black bra that was sheer, and lacy around the straps and underwire area. It pushed your boobs up nicely and accentuated your cleavage perfectly. JJ was a mess.

“This is so not fair,” he groaned, his jaw practically on the floor.

You knew the effect the lingerie would have on him, which is exactly why you picked it. “What? You too chicken J?” you said, using his taunt from earlier.

Your words made him recover quickly. “No, of course not,” he scoffed.

“That's what I thought you’d say,” you smirked. Now you let your jean shorts fall to the floor, so you were able to show your black thong, which was not as fancy looking, but you knew it would practically make JJ lose it.

You were right, he looked like you had placed him under a spell. When he finally snapped out of it, he pointed next to him. “Bed princess. Now.”

He was almost making this too easy. “I don’t know about that. How about please?”

JJ nearly opened his mouth, but quickly caught himself before he could say anything. “Fine, I’ll do it myself,” he smirked. He moved off the bed, to grab you. You tried to avoid his hands, but there wasn’t much room to run around, so he easily caught you. He threw you onto his bed, and you let out a small yelp of surprise. Before you could even think about running off again, he jumped on the bed, flipped you onto your back, and pinned you. His knees were on your hands, effectively keeping you from touching him.

“Are you going to be a good slut and scream for me?” he asked. His face a few inches from yours.

“Not a chance J,” you smiled.

“Have it your way then, but either way, you’ll still be moaning my name.” His arms lowered so he could dip down to kiss a couple inches above your collarbone. His knees still held your hands in place. He sucked hard against your skin, making sure to leave marks.

“Wait, no marks JJ,” you told him.

“Should’ve told me that sooner now everyone’s gonna know that you lost a bet,” he teased.

“In your dreams,” you scoffed.

JJ didn’t have a comment on that, but went back to work leaving you many bruises that you would have to cover the next morning. Oh how you wished your hands could be in his hair at the moment. He made an agonizingly slow trail down to your bra, before removing it and throwing it onto the floor of his room. He then started sucking on one of your breasts letting his lower lip just gently brush against your nipple everytime he sucked above it. He had found out about the spot driving you crazy the first time you had sex, and now you were strongly wishing you had never told him.

You had your mouth clenched rather tightly so that no moans would escape your lips. Unfortunately for you, your boyfriend noticed that.

“Come on y/n, just let it out. You know that no one can make you cum like I do,” he taunted.

Luckily, his temporary break gave you a chance to get control of yourself again. “Fuck off,” you retorted.

“Yeah, that was kinda the plan.” He grinned devilishly.

He must’ve realized that he was not going to get you to break by doing that, and instead moved farther down to pull your panties off.

His head ducked down to your pussy, but he made eye contact just as he did so. “You still feeling cocky?” he asked.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Alright, then let’s see how long that lasts since you’re such a slut for me,” he said with a wink before ducking his head fully down. He sucked another hickey on the inside of your thigh, and he slowly started licking towards your pussy. You could practically feel his tongue against your clit, but he was taking his sweet time.

“Stop teasing,” you finally groaned out.

“Is that begging I hear?” he questioned.

“No, I’m telling,” you said matter of factly.

“Yes ma’am,” he agreed with a chuckle.

His tongue slowly started lapping across your folds, occasionally flicking along your clit. Oh god you were in heaven, but simultaneously in hell because you couldn’t make a peep. His tongue once again licked across your spot, and you had to slap your hands over your mouth to keep a moan from escaping your lips. You could feel the smirk on his lips, but you weren’t going to let him have the satisfaction of knowing how much he was affecting you.

A few whimpers nearly came out of your body, and your hands were nearly shaking from trying to hold it in. But all of a sudden you realized that letting it out may be to your advantage, hearing your noises of pleasure, always had quite the effect on him.

So you did. Every moan, and whimper you let him hear. He thought that he was getting to you, which truthfully he was, but the game was far from over.

“You’re eating me out so good,” you moaned.

Your plan was already working; you noticed that he started to pick up the pace.

“Oh god JJ!” you screamed as he licked over a good spot on your pussy.

He continued licking in that exact spot which almost made you want to give up the bet right then in there. You felt shivers go through your spine as your core started to heat up but you were too stubborn to lose yet.

“No one fucks me like you do,” you moaned, knowing damn well the effect it would have on him.

Your plan seemed to have worked as he quickly took off his shorts, put on the condom, and just as his cock was about to enter you, you stopped him.

“Beg,” you insisted.

“Y/n fucking pl-” You had nearly had him, but he managed to stop himself before the words tumbled out.

You smirked, as he finally realized what you were doing. He however was now hell bent on making you lose. JJ climbed back on top of you with new vigor. “You’re smart, which is exactly why breaking you will be so much more fun,” he taunted. His head went back down again.

Your hands entangled in his hair as he went back to licking every single nook and cranny that he could find. “Fuck,” you whimpered as he once again licked your even more sensitive clit. You could feel the tension burning in your core, and a tingling sensation starting to spread all over. You started to buck your hips from the stimulation, and JJ was quick to force you back down. As his flicking became more rapid, you felt your body start to tense up.

“JJ I’m gonna-” you had started, but suddenly he had stopped.

“Beg,” he told you. And as much as you wanted to give in you were determined to knock the cocky grin off his face.

You sat up on your elbows. “Make me.”

JJ looked delighted by your answer. “That’s fine I got all night.”

“Inside me JJ,” you told him. You knew he wanted to make you beg for that as well, but you knew that he wanted to be inside you more.

He thrusted his cock into you and you did your best not to slide backwards from him pushing into you. “Oh my god you’re so wet for me, you really have been waiting.”

After he had checked on you he began slowly thrusting into you, going deep into you. “Oh shit,” he moaned. He would have to explain a lot of scratches across his back tomorrow but quite frankly you didn’t care.

“JJ!” you half moaned, half screamed as he went down again.

“You’re such a dirty slut for me aren’t you?” he taunted you.

You wanted to have some sort of retort but all that came out of your mouth was another moan, which just egged him on more.

“Come on, I know you’re tempted.”

Truthfully, you were extremely tempted, but you could surely outlast him right? But then you had an idea, he couldn’t stop it if he didn’t know what was coming. So as you felt your body starting to be strung out again you did you best to keep your breathing the same, and to not move around as much. But just as you felt the tension building he stopped.

“JJ?” you groaned in confusion.

“You seriously don’t think I don’t know when you’re going to have an orgasm?” he laughed. He pushed his hair out of his face and grinned down at you.

“Y/n you might as well just give up now, and spare yourself,” he suggested.

Collecting what small amount of strength you had left you said “Not a chance.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he smirked.

The warning was evidently very necessary, your whole body was starting to feel ten times more sensitive than it usually did. Every thrust sent a wave of pleasant goosebumps through your body. Your legs were shaking, and your voice was admittedly starting to go away. Your body felt like it was screaming that it wanted to orgasm. He started to slow down, but you were so close. You attempted to buck your hips into his to get the feeling back but he held you down. With a satisfactory grin on his face, that you needed it so bad.

“You’re not getting an orgasm unless you beg and we both know that I could fuck you for hours,” he taunted.

“Fine, fine, fine, please, please, please let me cum J, please. I am begging you,” you whined.

“That’s all you had to say princess,” he smirked. Finally his pace picked back up, to a more rapid one.

“Fuck you feel so good,” you moaned to him. There was no point keeping it in now. Your hips bucked in rhythm with his, as he moved in and out. But his rhythm slowed down as what you recognized as his climax.

“Oh god,” you heard him say as it finally hit him. His moans of pleasure only sped up your’s. “Fuck,” he moaned on top of you. But he managed to push himself back up to go down into you a couple more times for you to reach your climax.

Your whole body felt like it was on fire with tingles. The feeling spread from your stomach to your breasts to throughout your whole body. Your legs began to shake and you couldn't form words anymore. The only coherent thought you could form was how good you felt. Even after you had reached your climax, you had a sense of euphoria that you just couldn’t shake.

Eventually, you felt JJ start to move out of you, and you both whimpered slightly from how sensitive you were. You saw him take the condom off and throw it away. You lay in bed, still breathing heavily.

“Give me your hand, we’re going to the bathroom,” he said sweetly, but insistently. You groaned but you didn’t protest.

After you had used the toilet, you both flopped back down in his bed. It was quiet for a couple minutes before JJ spoke up.

“You know I’m really excited to see what beers you get me,” he teased.

“Shut up,” you laughed, lightly smacking him in the arm.

He lightly smacked you back. “Oh and don’t forget to call off for Friday tomorrow morning,” he grinned.

“I hate you,” you said as you rolled over.

“I love you,” he said sweetly, as he wrapped his arms around your midsection.

He always had a way of making you happy. “Love you too J,”

“Goodnight princess,” he said as he kissed your cheek.

“Goodnight JJ.” And you quickly fell fast asleep in his arms.

Needless to say, the other pogue’s weren’t worried that you never came outside. They knew where they would find the two of you the next morning.

[hwkhs]

MSBY seeing their spouse & kid at a game

summary: the players have a big game coming up and you told them that you and your kid couldn’t make it because of (generic excuse), but little did he know you guys were just in the stands waiting for him to notice

characters: hinata shouyou, bokuto koutarou, miya atsumu, & sakusa kiyoomi x gn!reader

warnings: post-timeskip so spoilers!

style & genre: headcannons; fLUFF, JUST WHOLESOME, DOMESTIC FLUFF

notes: i saw other people doing this and i wanted to do a take of it too & i’ve told myself that all i’m going to publish without a request is self-indulgent i have no shame, enjoy!

Hinata Shouyou

you told him you had an important business meeting that day and your daughter had an impromptu ballet lesson a stretch but he believed it

he was understanding but you could tell that he was kinda bummed

it’s the day of the game and he’s warming up with his teammates when you and your daughter snag a seat towards the front row

it is just in his peripherals if he looks there but he is pretty focused since it’s a game against the adlers

your and your daughter are sporting his jersey and you can see the sparkles in her eyes as she watches her dad warm-up

wait till she sees him actually play it’s so cute

the game starts and hinata opens it up with a quick, set by atsumu

you and your daughter cheer loudly and hinata turns to smile at the crowd, his eyes almost bulging out of their sockets when he sees you two

he is so ecstatic and now that he knows you’re both there he plays even better

after the game he runs up to the two of you and hugs you both tight, the smile on his face never faltering

when the interviewers come to ask him questions, he hoists his daughter to sit on his shoulders as he talks animatedly about the match while she plays with his hair

everyone watching thinks it’s adorable, this daddy-daughter duo

“i felt even more fired up! why? well, it’s because my spouse and daughter are here!”

Bokuto Koutarou

HE WAS SO SAD AWWW

like you physically felt your heart hurt when his hair flopped down

he was looking forward to seeing you and your guys’ son at the game so he could have a boost to his energy and confidence

the team notices the slight change in his mood but he told them before--he’s not the same ace he was in high school so he wouldn’t let it affect his playing too much

little did he know hehe

your son is bouncing excitedly in your lap as he waits to see his dad

he is normally pretty bad at keeping secrets so it was surprising he faked a sad expression when he had to tell his dad he had schoolwork to finish

it’s preschool and hw is nonexistent but bokuto doesn’t need to know that

right when bokuto exits the hall to be seen by the crowd, your soon immediately perks up

“Dad!!”

bokuto’s, i kid you not, his hair straightens up and his head whips over to you two

he can tell your voices from a mile away and a large smile spreads across his face

“hey hey hey!! you guys are here!”

he has a game to play so he doesn’t run over to you two as much as he wants to

he’s playing so well and when the opponents saw you they already knew they were done for power of family amirite haha

when the game ends, he’s scooping both of you up in his arms and pressing kisses onto your faces, telling you how happy he is that you guys actually made it

Miya Atsumu

a hit to his ego aHA

he wanted to show off his skillz to you and the twins but no

you and the kids went to visit your parents you told atsumu that you guys might not make the game because you’d be coming home late

you guys actually made it back in time for the game so you drove to the game venue

you saw osamu in the front and he waves you down, giving the twins onigiri which they take gratefully

“he was sulking when he got here”

“really?”

“yeah, what a baby”

“i know, right?”

in the distance, atsumu sneezes

you guys find a seat pretty close to the front and the twins at this point are excited

they actually liked watching their dad play on tv and never really saw him play up close

you’re son wasn’t much of a yeller but during the entire game he was cheering along with his sister who was cheering every time atsumu touched the ball

you think he didn’t see you three but when the game ends, he walks right past the interviewer right to you guys

“how’d i do?” he has that infamous smirk on his face and you roll your eyes as your kids cheer at his legs

“you were so cool, papa!”

“yeah! the ball was like fwoosh! and boom!”

his expression softens when he carries them both with ease in each arm and he leans to press a kiss to your lips

the remaining crowd is in love with the sight of him answering questions with two kids dangling off his arms

Sakusa Kiyoomi

he’s nonchalant on the outside but kinda sad on the inside when you tell him that you were feeling under the weather and wanted to stay home

you told him you and your son were going to watch the game online so you guys really wouldn’t be missing anything

he also doesn’t trust anyone else to bring his son because germs

you made sure to takes extra precautions so your son was dressed with a mask matching one his father usually wore

all three of you liked to stay clean, though you and your son weren’t as extreme as sakusa

the seats you guys got was far from the front because your son didn’t like to be near a lot of people, but he could still see his dad

you could feel him shift and yelp as he was in your lap every time sakusa spiked the ball

he’s a pretty quiet kid so this was a little surprising to you

he was cheering in his own way awww

you had sakusa’s pass so you and your son could go on the court and see him

he does the unexpected and practically jumps out of your arms, running to his dad

hinata and bokuto see him first and try to approach him, but one glare from sakusa has them backing off

he has a look of surprise on his face seeing you guys there but the smile on yours is enough to have him do it back

he wanted to change before holding your son but he was insistently tugging on his uniform until sakusa picked him up

your son wasn’t one with words, so he pulled down his mask and kissed his dad on the cheek before throwing his arms around his neck

“OMI-OMI THAT’S SO SOFT”

“shut the hell up” he covered your son’s ears dw

[lachimolala-is-love-and-life]

THE CORPSE GROOM 💖💀

Genre: Horror!Au, Soulmate!Au Fantasy!Au, Romance, Angst, Death themes

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader, Jin x Reader

Words: 10K

Summary: Lee Y/n's and Kim Namjoon's families have arranged their marriage. Though they like each other at the first sight, Y/n is nervous about the ceremony. While she's in a forest practicing her lines for the wedding, a tree branch becomes a hand that drags her to the land of the dead. It belongs to Kim Seokjin, who was murdered after eloping with his love and now he wants to marry Y/n to find his happy ending. Y/n has another problem. She must get back aboveground before Namjoon marries the villainous Choi Yuna because his parent think his future bride run away from him...forever.

(Story inspired by the plot of “The Corpse Bride” with some modification and addictions. Enjoy it 💖)

(Photo edit is my work, give me my credit if you wanna use. Thank you❤)

“I spent so long in the darkness....I'd almost forgotten how beautiful the moonlight is!”

Do you know when you are quiet in your homes, with loving parents, a dog that just feels your presence does nothing but worship you? A companion you love with all your heart, willing to sacrifice anything to make you happy, grow old with you... Till death do us part?

Good, because I don’t. You don’t have the luck to have these privileges... My house was made of stone and tended not to emanate any kind of heat, especially the emotional one. My parents at least the people I had to consider as such, but now I didn’t care anymore.

You see, we were humble people, but in order to make room for ourselves in high society, they had decided to arrange a marriage for me with a young Lord of the country that I had never seen and never before known. They were giving my hand as a bride to a complete stranger just to satisfy their selfish desires. I didn’t even know his first name, I just knew his last name. Kim, if I’m not mistaken.

Now, sitting on my little bed of second-hand textiles, I was intent on portraying a delicate butterfly of purple hues. I loved cataloging all kinds of information from an early age, even of the smallest living being, but what I loved the most was being able to draw it. It gave me a kind of freedom from the cruel reality I was destined for, even for just a few minutes.

I watched the little creature that I had locked up in a glass case, so I could study it closely and grasp with ink every little detail of it. I saw myself in her at this moment. Young and full of life, but without any escape...

"Y/n, hurry up! The Kims don’t want to wait any longer and don’t tolerate the delay. The carriage is already here!" my mother shouted from the ground floor. I sighed and freed the butterfly, which escaped without hesitation as soon as she saw a small opening to escape.

I envied her because unlike her, I had to meet my future husband with his family today.

"There will be wedding trials the day before the great ceremony," my father continued to repeat incessantly these last days. It made me laugh to have to marry a stranger in a few hours of knowledge and not be able to rebel...

I took my dusty coat and a little picture of Yeontan. He was my puppy, my only friend, but he died early due to a serious illness. I missed him every day...

I left the house and the first thing I found was the carriage that would take us to our destination with my impatient parents inside.

"Hello Hoseok" I greeted the boy who had been ordered to take us to the Kim. Jung Hoseok was a young man of 26 years. Beauty and a smile that could light up any room in darkness. His family was very poor and it was he who had to provide for everyone, bearing even the harassment of my parents.

"Good morning, Lady Y/n. If we leave right away, we’ll be at the Kim mansion in no time," he said smiling. I gave back a fake smile, but I felt dead inside.

Climbing inside the carriage, I decided to sit in front of my mother and my father laughing. They noticed my presence and their expression changed in seconds.

"Finally, my daughter. It took you long enough"

"Sorry, Mother," I lowered my head as a sign of submission.

My father sighed and began to speak "You caught a big fish hook, Y/n"

"Now all you have to do is pull it into the boat," added my excited mother.

Be happy for my life now ruined thanks to you? Certainly...

"Young Kim should not marry a young Lady, mother? Rich and surrounded by high nobility?"

"Don’t talk nonsense. We are no less than the Kim. I always knew I deserved more than a simpleton life. Being a miserable merchant wasn’t for me.”

"But I never spoke to him" I tried to defend myself from his words. I was disgusted that she used me only for her own interests.

"Pff. At least we have one thing in our favor. The less you talk, the better," she arrogantly said. But I did not have time to say that the carriage stopped and Hoseok opened the door.

"Madam and Gentlemen Lee. We have arrived at our destination"

We went down and gave a little thank-you smile to the young coachman.

The home of the Kim was something magnificent and immense. A real palace.

Why would such a wealthy family marry their son to a simple country girl like me...

We knocked and immediately a butler with a suspicious and reckless look opened the great wooden door.

"Oh, my goodness. Oh, how wonderful. A really impeccable taste" exclaimed my mother while the servant made us sit inside the house.

"It seems obvious to me. Our family has honorable roots in this country and deserves only the best"

We turned to the mysterious voice and a couple stopped in front of us.

"You must be the Lee family, I presume? Is this neglected damsel and little grace would she be my son’s bride?" said the woman in front of me. What kind of haughty and primadonna witch.

"Come. Tea will be served in the west wing of the house. So we can discuss this wedding and wait for rehearsal time for tomorrow’s ceremony."

"Of course, Mrs. Kim. Your house is lovely. What kind of upholstery do you use?"

But as my parents and the one of my future husband were about to have tea, my eyes met at the sight of a beautiful black piano. I approached and began to press some keys. I smiled when I heard the familiar sound. I missed playing it. It was since I was little, since my grandmother taught me how to play it died, I didn’t touch it anymore. In fact, my parents considered it a useless object and decided to have it demolished.

I sat on the small chair and started playing it. A sweet melody began to be heard. I loved him and I missed those days when my grandmother and I spent whole afternoons playing. I admired her very much as a woman and she was the only one who took me seriously, who appreciated my strengths and weaknesses.

I let myself be carried away by the melody so deeply that I did not notice the noise of some steps that were slowly approaching me.

"You play beautifully, Lady Lee"

A deep voice spoke out of the blue, frightening me so much that I fell out of my chair.

"I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I was in my room enjoying a good book, until the most beautiful music I’ve ever heard enchanted me. I was curious to find out where it came from and I discovered you. Not only is the melody wonderful, but even those who played it are no exception. In fact, an angel is standing right in front of me right now."

I looked at the boy who was in front of me.

He was... beautiful.

Tall and with a toned and strong covering, hidden by a velvet shirt.

Two small dimples appeared on his cheeks as he smiled at me. They were adorable and his eyes were simply indescribable brown.

He looked like a Greek god just escaped from a myth written in an art book.

My heart trembled because of his presence and my cheeks turned red in a few moments.

Why did I feel that way?

I only saw him for a moment, but he had already enchanted me.

Was this... love at first sight?

"Excuse me, Mr Kim," I said as I quickly grabbed the little vase above the piano that was about to fall to the ground because of my fright, "I am so clumsy and I apologize for touching your instrument. I used to play it when I was a kid but my parents took it away from me because they think music is not a lady’s business. I am good for nothing and I can do practically nothing because of my clumsiness except playing the piano and studying on books. But maybe I’m talking too much. I’m sorry. My mom knew that I was too talkative and I should shut up to be a good wife but..." I was interrupted by Namjoon who laid a finger on my lips.

"Hey, don’t worry. I loved hearing you talk and you have a persuasive voice. I don’t see any harm to talk about your passions, and I see that the things you do are done with love, so..."

"You’re so sweet Lord Kim. You don’t have to be nice just because we have to get married tomorrow..." I said to him with a little voice.

"I’m not doing this because we have to get married but I think you’re already interesting at first sight. We share the same passions, and then you’re a wonderful, intelligent woman. I can see you’re not like those ladies who only think about looks and beauty. And under the circumstances, why don’t you just call me Namjoon, Lady Y/n?" said he took my hand gently in his and carried it on his mouth to give a chaste and small kiss. Her lips were so soft. I wonder how they felt about mine?

Wait? What was I thinking? I just met him...

"Nam. .Namjoom. Tomorrow we will be mar...mar...marr ..."

"Married, my dear? Of course," he said as he sat down and played a sweet melody with the piano "You know? When I was a child, I dreamed of the day of my wedding.I always hoped to find someone to fall madly in love with, to spend the rest of my life with. Silly, is not it?"

"Not at all. In fact, I’m of the same mind as you. I’ve always been the lonely girl and different from my peers. They plunged from every dress and make-up of various kinds and surrounded by suitors. The only one who ever courted me was my baby Tannie before he died. No one wants a library guy surrounded only by books as a wife," I said as my eyes turned to the floor.

I don’t know why I was telling him all this to a complete stranger, but I know there’s something about him that tells me I can trust him. Then in a few hours he’ll be my husband. It’s a good feeling, right?

But a couple of fingers took my chin and brought me to meet his gaze.

"People are blind if they can’t see the incredible qualities you possess. You are beautiful and your intelligence and clumsiness make you even more enchanting. All I’d wait for is to flirt and make you mine." He whispers.

I kept looking him in the eye and I got lost in it. I noticed that he stared at my lips intensely and immediately after I saw that he tried to get close to mine. I wanted her mouth on mine, and like a magnet, I was trying to get her close as fast as I could. My heart was pounding so hard that it came out of my chest, and when I put one of my hands on Namjoon’s chest, I noticed that even his heartbeat was going crazy. Was it really love at first sight? My soul mate?

Our lips almost touched when a voice made us suddenly move away from the embrace of one and the other.

"What indecency is this? You shouldn’t be alone together!!" Namjoon’s mother shouted at us.

"There is only one minute left at 5:00 PM and you are not at rehearsals. The priest is waiting for you. Come and hurry!".

He continued to scold us as he was heading to the chapel where the wedding rehearsals would take place shortly thereafter.

Namjoon looked at me with a small smile that immediately reciprocates and then gently take my hand to warn us at the place of rehearsal.

..................................................................................................................

Three hours later...

"Lady Lee, let’s start again. Again!" cried the priest.

We were at the altar repeating our wedding vows. At least, I tried to repeat because I kept forgetting the words.

"With this hand I will take away your worries. Your cup will never be empty because I will be your wine. With this candle will illuminate your path in darkness. With this ring I ask you to be mine. Let’s try again," he told me by looking them severely in the eye.

I grabbed the candle in my hand and approached it to the little flame in front of me.

"With this candle" but did not light. I brought it closer "With this candle..." still nothing.

"To hell. I’ll do it if you want. We’ve been here forever," my mom said. You were making a fool of yourself in front of everyone. Tears began to form in my eyes but I tried to hold them back.

When I tried to light it again for the umpteenth time, this time the flame managed to light it and I continued with the promise.

"With this candle" but a small breath shines and made me feel even more mortified by the embarrassing situation that was being created because of me.

"Continue!" the priest told me, but as soon as he finished talking, the doorbell rang and Namjoon’s father sent the butler to open.

"Go on" Namjoon whispered to me, trying to give me courage.

While I was trying to remember the words, I saw that the guest who played was a young girl of noble origins. A beautiful red velvet dress embraced her graceful shapes. She was wonderful. Not like me...

"I am Choi Yuna and I am here to attend the reception or at least if it happens. The bride seems to me quite unprepared and clumsy"

How dare this woman  speak in this way of me? Even if she was right.

"Come on. Let’s not waste any more time and take the side of the "hand"" said the parish priest.

I raised my right hand while holding the candle with the other.

"With this... this..."

"HAND! What’s wrong with you? Don’t want to get married? At least you brought the ring with you"

Reprimanded for the umpteenth time...

"Of course..." I answered as he pulled it out of his pocket.

"With this ring..." but I did not have time to finish the sentence that the jewel slipped from my hands and began to roll up to the door of the chapel.

"He dropped it. This girl doesn’t want to get married at all". Until that morning I could confirm those words, but after I met Namjoon...

"Enough! Until the girl is ready the marriage will not happen. And you." said the priest pointing to me "learn your oath"

The heart was beating fast, but this time for shame. I was just useless. Now I didn’t even know how to learn two simple sentences. The tears came back, but before I could cry...

"I apologize. Tomorrow there will be no mistakes" and I ran away while the crying took over. I wanted to get away from those people and that house as soon as possible.

But when I ran away I didn’t notice the worried look of my future husband and how the girl who arrived a few moments before ironically whispered in his ear "A very good match, isn’t she?"

.................................................................................................................

I ran out of that house. You couldn’t spend an extra minute in there. I went into the little biscuit that flanked the house to look for some quiet and think about what had just happened.

"Namjoon... you must think I’m stupid now" I looked up to the moon "It couldn’t get any worse".

"Yet, it shouldn’t be difficult. It’s just a stupid oath! Let’s see how it was? With this hand I’ll take your wine? It wasn’t so..."

I tried to repeat myself as you went deeper and deeper into the woods.

"With this hand... will I drink your cup? But what the hell do I say..." slapping myself on the cheek to punish me of the error.

"I.. I... am a complete dork. It’s all for nothing" I said to myself as I sat on a small fallen log.

I pulled the ring out of my pocket and started staring at it. How could I be equal to a man like Kim Namjoon? He didn’t deserve me... but I wanted it so much. If I try to make an effort to be better, maybe...

I took a long sigh and got up quickly, I began to speak with a solemn voice.

"With this hand I will take away your worries. Your cup will never be empty because I will be your wine. With this candle will light your way into darkness." I took the ring between my thumb and index finger and watched as I continued to speak "With this ring I ask you to be mine".

Successfully concluded the oath by putting the small ring in what seemed to me a dry branch. But how wrong I was...

The moment I put it in, a dark, spooky aura rose around me. A cold wind appeared and made my skin crawl and the crows were watching me from the oars with a look of death. I had to go back...

And the moment I tried to get the ring back, one hand grabbed me out of nowhere, causing my body painfully to slam into the ground.

"Help!! Help" I called desperately as I tried to free myself from that grip on my arm.

I pulled even harder until the hand let me fall down again with my butt on the floor. I didn’t have time to get up to run away when a rotting body in a wrinkled black tuxedo appearing before me.

Was he a man? You could consider him so? With pale skin from which you could see lack of skin and the leakage of some bones. His eyes had no pupils. White as milk...

I trembled at the sight in front of me. I would have died the cause of this being. I could not move. I was petrified.

The creature slowly approached me and handed him his hand as he said in a hoarse voice, "I want him..."

I screamed... I screamed so much in fear that my sight started getting smaller and my head getting lighter. But before I could pass out, his face came up to mine and "Now you may kiss the groom".

The darkness engulfed me.

....................................................................................................

When I opened my eyes with a blurred vision and a faint and comfortable voice started talking to me.

"Hey, baby girl. Are you okay?"

"Jin, she’s waking up after she passed out. Give her time to recover."

I slowly opened my eyes and the sight was returning to its place. I really wanted not to see what was in front of me. Skeletons and moldy-skinned people were on top of me.

"Hey, just breathe"

"Feel his skin. It’s still soft"

My eyes were wide open and I suddenly got up to get away from these monsters. What the hell was going on, but especially where did I happen to be?

He asked me as I began to look around. It looked like a huge crypt with dirt walls where monsters and skeletons drink a green substance and a disgusting smell.

A skeleton in a military uniform raised a chalice and shouted "To the newlyweds" and followed by other screams.

W-what?

I looked in front of me and the same being that suddenly appeared to me in the woods, took me in his dead and cold arms, but this time a smile appeared on his face.

"Oh, my love. In the woods you said so perfectly, I was right," "he said, and then he showed me the ring that was on his finger.

I was incredulous. I took the first rejection I had in my hand and began to beat it in my head "Wake up! Wake up! It must be a nightmare. Somebody wake me up!"

"You could get hurt, my love. Why don’t we start getting ready for the wedding feast?" I’m talking to that monster again. But as soon as he finished the sentence, he dropped an eye and he caught it in a hurry and then put it back. "Oh, these jumping eyes. Ahahah"

"AHHHHHH" could not be true. I had to leave this madhouse. I wanted to return in the arms of my lover Namjoon. I have to run away.

He starts to run and make room between those bone stains, but a dead end appeared before me blocking any escape attempt.

"Please! Let me go. I do not belong here".

"Oh my love" the creature "you can’t leave here. We’re married" approached me again.

"But, but.... give me answers. I DEMAND ANSWERS!!"

"Oh of the answers you will have "an unknown voice appeared. I looked around and saw in dim light a young man with black hair who lacked an arm.

"You... who are you?".

"O little mortal. I am Yoongi. I write remembers the fate of all the dead who are here. How their lives were taken from their bodies. Naturally or by the horrible killers"

"Dead? So you’re all dead here?"

"That’s right, dear. I’m Kim Seokjin, your wonderful husband," he said gently kissing my cheek. There was no warmth in his lips. They were as cold as... death.

"I am Lee Y/n and sorry if I am giving you false illusions but I am not your wife. They do not belong in this world. Why do you insist I be your consort!!!"

"He may not be able to answer you clearly, but I can. Let me tell you the story of his death".

Yoongi said, coming closer to me and Seokjin.

"This is a tragic tale of love, passion and brutal murder."

Suddenly everything got dark but soon after I found a young couple in front of me. She was faceless and he had to be Seokjin alive... Wow. He was so beautiful... alive.

Yoongi’s voice appeared again but no trace of him.

"Observe what you see, my mortal dear, and let me clear your mind" and he continued.

"He was very beautiful and envied by everyone. His family possessed unparalleled wealth. Every woman struggled to have him by her side but none could fill his heart with love. When a strange person appeared in his town. A young damsel whose name is unknown, she was beautiful and good-looking, but poor. She persuaded him to fall in love. He quickly collapsed at her advances, so much so that she asked him to run away together. But his parents were against this union. So they decided to organize themselves to escape and marry in secret. She gave him a place to meet and asked him to bring everything he had precious so that they could live peacefully. He as a puppet consented and found himself in the predetermined place" and the scenario before me changed.

Seokjin was alone in search of someone. Probably the girl in the story.

Yonngi continued " he anxiously awaited his beloved. As he wore his dress for the ceremony. He was looking for the damsel in a wedding dress but after a few hours nothing. When he was surrendering but suddenly from the darkness saw something and his little heart began to beat hard by the emotion..."

A shadow appeared behind Seokjin and was about to grab him.

"And then what...?"

"Everything became black" and so darkness reigned while Yoongi’s voice kept me company "and when he opened his eyes he found himself dead in the earth. The jewels and his heart were gone. So he swore that he would only give himself to a true and chaste love, not based on lies as she had done. He waited years for someone to propose to him, and now..."

A dazzling light blinded me and when I opened my eyes I found myself in the crypt with Jin and Yoongi looking at me.

"You have come. With that oath you have promised me eternal fidelity and unchallenged love. Now we will be together forever," Seokijin told me.

No. It couldn’t have been true.

"Now come with me, dear. I have something to give you".

......................................................................................................

Meanwhile at home Kim...

Namjoon and his bride-to-be’s parents were in the living room. He seemed the only one worried about the young bride and her safety. Hours had passed by and she had not yet returned home...

"That wretched daughter of ours. I thought her fear of the dark made her come back here with her tail between her legs like a dog. Instead, it’s who knows where" the spouses Lee complained.

Namjoon made a grimace of annoyance. How could a mother speak in this way of her only daughter?

But his thoughts were interrupted when the young guest who arrived at the reception made her appearance in the drawing room.

"Sorry to bother you, Mr and Mrs Kim, but I can’t help but think the bride-to-be hasn’t shown up yet." She said in a mocking tone.

Choi Yuna was a very attractive woman, but Namjoon had already realized that she could not be trusted.

"But some news" she continued, "it is said around the country that Lady Lee was seen with another man and fled together."

"A man? But she doesn’t know anyone," the father of Y/n.

"That’s what you think. But you can never trust a girl like that. They seem calm and innocent when I actually hide all sorts of relationships with different men." Yuna concluded.

"Well if you need my assistance, you can find me in my room kindly offered by Mr and Mrs Kim." And having said that, she left.

Namjoon was shocked. It couldn’t be true. She seemed so taken with him and he the same with her. She was soul mates, he was sure. That treacherous woman was lying. I was convinced.

"Good heavens. What do we do now? We were about to give the hand of a slut to our son. What can we do now?" that Mrs Kim told her husband.

"Give us a chance to find her. Please. She’ll be here in time for the wedding." She prayed desperately to Y/n. She didn’t care about her daughter, but only worried about losing a place in high society.

"They are disgusting people. I’ll find you Y/N and take you away from your horrible parents," Namjoon thought as he watched the scene in front of him.

"I give you until dawn. Not a minute more". Mrs. Kim proclaimed.

"Come back home, my love," Namjoom sadly thought, hoping that his future wife would magically appear before him.

..........................................................................................................

In the world of the dead...

"Light of my eyes, I have to give you my wedding present" Seokjin smiled. He was a... strange boy. Very special. Gia considered me the most important person in her entire life... at least symbolically.

He had taken me to the highest part of the realm of the dead, whose sight was breath-taking. This was only mine since his... well you understand. But he didn’t know even in my heart there was already someone special for me...

"Seokjin..."

"Call me Jin, dear. We’re married and you don’t have to be so formal."

"See... Jin. I’m very sorry for what happened to you. I really am. But I have to go home."

He caressed my cheek with love, but what I felt was just a cold touch.

"This is your home now. But I have to give you what you deserve for our wedding" and saying that he gave me a gift pack. All ruined and scruffy.

You have to be honest, I was curious to understand what was inside. You open it and instinctively I throws it on the ground.

BONES. THERE WERE BONES IN IT.

"What’s wrong, my love? "he asked me worried.

"Well... usually you don’t give bones in the world of living Jin. I got a bit 'of fear... that’s all"

"Oh but those aren’t just bones..." and having said that, that pile of bones started to move and join together.

Until a dog of only bones appeared before us and began to dazzle cheerfully. He stood right in front of my feet and began to dig as if he wanted to greet me. I only knew a dog that did so...

"Tannie? Is it you?" the "puppy" barked and jumped on my lap in search of cuddles. Tears of joy began to form in my eyes.

"I missed you so much, my puppy" I told him trying to pet him. Jin laughed at the sight of our reunion.

"He is cute"

"Well, Jin. You should have seen him when he was alive and had hair. He was the prettiest dog in the country. But my mother wouldn’t let me hold him. In fact, if I think about it she didn’t like anything. Good thing you don’t have to know"

"Y/n... do you think she would have liked me?"

I looked at him and a light bulb lit up in my head.

"Well maybe you should know her. Maybe... now?"

Jin gave me a huge smile and took my hands in his. "Well, what are we waiting for? We’re already going to his grave. I can’t wait to meet her!!"

"There’s a problem. She’s..."

"Is she still alive?"

Nod to his hypothesis.

"But I cannot go into the world of the living. I am forbidden" I look at myself sadly. I don’t know why, but I felt a slight pinch in my heart when I saw him like this.

"But maybe there would be a solution..." I looked at him puzzled. What was he talking about?

"There is the wise Park Jimin. He knows everything between the stable interaction our world with yours. Maybe something will do..?"

And that is how he is god we found ourselves on top of a huge tower, with a room covered in dusty books and flasks with strange substances.

A bluish-haired boy stood before us, incredulous at the request of the corpse groom.

"What Jin? Why should you go up there? Mortals are dying to get down here. Why is it so... absurd?"

"Wise Jimin. I solemnly ask for your help. It’s very important to me..." i looked at Jin "for us.."

"Please. There must be something. Even a small thing..." Jin looked at him with a desperate look. Did he have a great desire to come up with me? If he was really my lover, I would never meet him with my parents if I had a choice.

Jimin sighed and took from a shelf a gigantic book with a leather cover. I hope not human...

"Found" I saw him lean his index on a particular part of a page of the book. "An old Ukrainian spell. It is ideal for fast trips"

While he was reading, I noticed that he started to put together strange substances of dubious origin. Some of them had an unpleasant smell. Well, I’m in some kind of hell surrounded by the dead. How could they smell good?

There was a small explosion and a small ball came out of the chalice that Jimin was using.

"Good. When you want to come back here, shout "Bell Jumping" and in a few moments you will be in the world of the dead again. Understood?"

After nodding, Jimin broke the orb and a poor golden one came out of it. And in a few seconds I had and Jin went back to the woods where everybody started.

I turned to Jin and found him enchanted staring at the full moon.

"I’ve been in darkness so long, I’d forgotten how beautiful the moonlight is."

Jin began to stare at me taking his hands in his hands. " and being in your company under it. It makes me understand how many I love you. I want to spend my mortal life with you and see you always illuminated by the moon. It makes you even more beautiful".

I began to blush at his words. What was happening to me? I had never felt such feelings and in a short time already my heart could not stop beating in front of Namjoon and Jin... Namjoon.

NAMJOON! I MUST GO BACK TO HIM! HE WILL BE VERY WORRIED!

I’m sorry about Jin, but I have to act to convince him not to follow me to the Kim house.

I took his face in my hands and he leaned on it as soon as he felt my touch.

"My love. I have to pick up my parents to introduce you to them. I won’t be long. Will you wait for me?"

He smiled at me "I would make the world fall for you. I love you... my moon"

My moon... Jin... was considering me as beautiful as the moon. I felt slightly guilty to deceive me in this way but Namjoon climbed waiting... and I loved him...

I’m sorry.

"I’ll be back soon," and that takes me away from Jin’s body. Namjoon. I’m on my way.

I ran and ran until the gigantic mansion of the Kim appeared before me. I tried to open the entrance door but it had been sealed. There must be another entrance...

I look around  and I saw a balcony an open window. Bingo

I began to climb the walls awkwardly and with great difficulty, but managed to reach it. Mo faces the window and notices Namjoon with a gloomy expression intent on reading.

I knocked on the glass and his head turned towards me. He ran towards me and as soon as he opened the window and entered, he welcomed me with a huge hug. So it must be the touch of a lover. Warm and comfortable and not icy...

"Y/n! I’m so happy to see you. I was so worried about you. I thought I’d lost you. There were strange rumors about you but I already knew they were false. And now you’re in my arms. Don’t ever leave me again, okay?"

He returns the love of my lover. I had missed... my soul mate...

After what seemed like an eternity, he let me go. "Where have you been? I was so afraid of losing you..."

I caressed his face. If Jin’s skin was cold and cadaveric, his was warm and soft.

"I admit it. I was terrified of marriage this morning. But even though we have only just met, I realized that I wanted to be with you all the time and that we had to get married as soon as possible. I think I love you..."

He backed his forehead with my "I feel the exact same thing. It was love at first sight and I never want to let you go again"

Having said that, his lips approached mine. Finally...

I also approached mine to kiss him passionately. His lips were warm and fleshy. Soft and with a spicy flavor. I could become addicted to them as attractive and magnetic as they are, and now they’re mine.

When they cut us off from the kiss, Namjoon smiled at me and hugged me again.

I abandoned myself to its warmth and perfume. But when I turned to the window, what I found made me paralyze on the spot.

Jin was climbing up the balcony and about to enter the room.

I took the face of Namjoon in my hands "Jonnie I’m already married"

"What?"

"It’s true but against my will. You have to believe me!!" And when Jin opened the window and came in.

"My love, you were making me wait a long time and so I decided to come all the way here." but his eyes opened wide to see me in the arms of another man.

Jin ripped me out of my lover’s arms.

"Baby, who is he?"

"Who am I? Who are you?" I could notice Namjoon’s anger from the veins of his neck that kept growing and his nervous grin.

"I am Kim Seokjin. Her husband" he said proudly showing the ring he wore on his finger.

"Namjoon, He is dead. A corpse. He forced me, I swear."

But I didn’t have time to finish talking that Jin’s gaze became fierce and deadly and taking me in his arms, he shouted "BELL JUMPING!"

And we were once again taken into the world of the dead.

"You lied to me" Jin pushed me hard.

"SHOULD YOU STAY IN THE ARMS OF ANOTHER MAN? REALLY? THE TREASON NOT FORESEEN IN THE OATH OF OUR MARRIAGE"

"JIN. ARE YOU THE OTHER MAN? DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?"

If Jin could die again, they would definitely have had a heart attack.

"N..no. You are married to me! You are my wife. He is the other man." And tears began to come down from his white eyes...

I felt sorry for him... he had gone through hell and now that he could have some serenity, I was doing him even more harm. But I could not be with him...

"Jin... probably under other circumstances, who knows? But we’re too different. You’re dead."

"You should have thought of that before you proposed..."

I sighed, but I was starting to get nervous, "Why don’t you understand? It was a misunderstanding. I never would have married you if I knew I was in this situation."

Jin’s gaze became even darker and more melancholy...

"Thank you for letting me know... my moon" and disappeared before my eyes.

I didn’t want to hurt him, but it was the right thing to do. Or no? Then why did my heart ache to see his heart break (always in a symbolic sense)

"Jin..."

And without I noticing, a tear slipped on my face.

..............................................................................................................

Home of the Kim’s Family

"Mother! Father! YOU MUST BELIEVE ME. Y/N IS MARRIED TO A CORPSE. I SAW HIM WITH MY EYES! HE WAS HERE. IN THAT ROOM. WITH HER!"

He tried to explain Namjoon to his parents panicked. He could not believe that what had happened, well... IT HAD HAPPENED!

Since when do the dead marry the living and can return from the afterlife? Ninth. It couldn’t be true. It had to be a dream, right?!

"My son. I knew you were out of your mind, but not so much!" laughed Mr Kim.

"What a scandal! That girl is no good! Already married? Bah"

"I can promise you. They were here with me and in a moment "Poof"... disappeared into thin air..."

Hoseok was closely watching the scene in front of him. In addition to being a coachman, he was ordered to obey whatever requests both the family Lee and Kim. Then he knew Y/n...

She could not be married to another man. She rarely left her room and avoided any human contact. She was mocked and she preferred to isolate herself. So what was happening?

He approached the young Kim. He had noticed that compared to his parents, he was kind-hearted and the perfect companion for his lady. Then he was totally panicked and trembled like a leaf. Was it true... what had happened? He approached Namjoon with a blanket to wrap him up and give him some comfort.

"Here, my lord. I hope a blanket will be useful. You are shaking a lot" but Hoseok did not have time to hand it over to him that Mrs Kim threw it on the ground with arrogance.

"What a blanket! He needs a straitjacket. My son is completely crazy!"

And when he had said this, he grabbed Hoseok by the arm and threw him out of the room.

"You’re gonna stay here and think about what you just told us and thank me and your dad for not locking you up in an asylum again. Come on, dear. Let’s go" and when the two of them locked the door, they left Namjoon in a state of complete shock.

Did you know that what you saw was real? Why did you try to get help from your parents? They were just good-for-nothings who knew how to squander their money. That’s why we wanted him to get married. The Lees had managed to make their way among the families with a good economic reputation, and this marriage would only allow a profit interest. But he didn’t think he’d ever fall in love...

.................................................................................................................

Meanwhile, in the living room...

"My wretched son. He must only tell lies and lies. But it’s our last resort to get back into the richest part of the society," lamented Mrs Kim.

"Darling, time is running out, and soon everything will be taken from us if that girl doesn’t come back here. We only have a few family jewels to make a living for a short time... what do we do?"

As the Lee couple thought something to improve their condition, steps began to feel along the long corridor, until Choi Yuna made her appearance again.

"That girl is so unreliable. Throwing away a guy like Namjoon... is a real crime. If I had a man like your son by my side, I would cover him with love but also with riches worthy of him."

"Well...your husband must be a very lucky man to have a lover like you, Miss Choi," said Mrs Kim.

"Oh Mrs. Kim. I’m not married. I had a boyfriend a few years ago, but... a tragedy tore my lover from my arms. By now when you live alone... wealth is no longer worth anything," said Yuna trying to simulate a cry.

The two Kim spouses exchanged a gesture of understanding.

"Lady Choi. We have a request for you".

................................................................................................................

Meanwhile Namjoon was locked in his room looking for something open to be able to somehow unlock the lock. He had to leave that house of evil and selfish people. Look for her love and take her away from those cadaveric arms of that Seokjin.

But his search was abruptly interrupted when his room door opened and his parents again introduced themselves.

"Son! Good news. Indeed wonderful. A wedding there will be"

Namjoon had a puzzled look on her face. "Did you find her? Y/n came back?" she asked with a crumb of hope in her voice.

Namjoon’s mother approached Namjoon and began to fix his hair on his face.

"Get ready, my dear. Relatives will be here any minute. We must make you presentable for Miss Choi!"

"Mi... miss Choi? Mother? Are you kidding?" asked him upset.

"She’s gonna make a great wife, and there’s gonna be better prospects for our... uh... your future.”

No.. it couldn’t be. It couldn’t happen.

"But I don’t love her. You can’t force me to do this..."

There was a moment of silence, but soon after...

"PLEASE! I BEG YOU! THERE MUST BE ANOTHER WAY!" screamed in despair Namjoon. She could not marry that woman. She was treacherous and evil. Did you know that...

Mr Kim spoke up. "If you don’t marry her tomorrow, we’ll be forced to beg in the middle of the street. We’re close tolive under a bridge  by now."

"But Y/n... she..."

"Resign yourself, Namjoon. She’s gone, and tomorrow you’ll marry Miss Choi. And that’s it."

And so they left Namjoon alone again in his room. Full of unhappy thoughts in fun marrying someone he doesn’t love....

But Y/n had disappeared in front of him along with a dead man.

So, um...

And the tears started flooding his face.

............................................................................................................

As the Kim spouses moved away from their son’s room, they did not realize that Yuna was hiding to enjoy the entire conversation.

He approached a small portrait of Namjoon and began to caress him.

"Oh my dear. Don’t look at me like that. You will have to endure this union until death do us part... And it will happen much sooner than you imagine as soon as I poison the drink during the wedding feast" and an evil laugh came out her mouth.

But a noise interrupted her. There was Hoseok who had witnessed what she had just said. But before the young boy could escape to warn his master, Miss Choi took a candlestick nearby and grabbed him by the collar, then to smash him in the head repeatedly... until she was sure that the young man was no longer breathing. His plan should have no mistakes and this was also true for the dead who was at his feet. It was time to get rid of the body.

..............................................................................................................

In the realm of the dead...

I was here alone with what was left of Tannie. I felt guilty for what I had said to Jin. I didn’t want my words to sound so harsh, but he had to know the truth. I had to marry another man I loved...

Then why... when I thought of Namjoon, Jin’s face appeared with him...

I thought back to what Yoongi showed me about his past. He had been murdered by the one he loved most... had to live a life away from everything and everyone and instead? He found himself dead and alone...

If only things had turned out differently...

My thoughts interrupted when Yeontan started pulling my dress with his teeth. "What’s small? You want me to follow you?" I did.

I started walking as Tannie led me to a mysterious place. After a few minutes, I found myself in front of a house, but what made me curious was the weak melody that came from inside.

It was introducing to the one my grandmother used to play... GRANDMA.

She was deceased a while back and she might have been on the inside.

He quickly opened the door to enter a small living room. But what amazed me was not the sight of my grandmother, but of a boy with purple hair and broad shoulders... Seokjin...

I slowly approached his figure while he was busy playing. I tried to get noticed but he seemed to ignore me completely.

"Jin... I’m sorry. I’m sorry I lied to you about my parents. It’s just that this day didn’t go well...." I sat next to him as his long sayings continued to press the piano keyboard. " as I had anticipated..."

Nothing. He was ignoring me. So I decided to start playing with him. Just some melody. He wanted him to know that I still cared about him.

He started playing and he stopped listening to me right away, but he wasn’t looking at me yet.

I pushed my fingers away and immediately after he started playing again.

And so I did also. A look of hate struck me down but it did not make me lose.

We begin to play together a beautiful melody and slowly I could notice a weak smile on his face. The same happens with me. Neither of them spoke but I was loving how we were starting to have fun just playing a musical instrument.

Immediately after that he began to laugh. He had a contagious and beautiful laugh. Why didn’t I notice until now? It was pleasant to be in his company. If only he were alive...

As soon as we finished playing, Jin looked at me gently in the eyes "Sorry... I got excited".

I took his hand in mine.

"I like your enthusiasm. Really..."

And we began to look into each other’s eyes. Although his eyes were white and had no pupils, I no longer feared them. Not anymore. On the contrary, they gave me a sort of comfort. I was getting lost, like Namjoon had.

I was admiring him too? Of a dead man? But what happened next was Jin who gently leaned his lips on my lips...

His  lips were cold, but also soft. A feeling... different? But pleasant at the same time.

The kiss did not last very long especially since a euphoric Yoongi ran to us screaming "Run boys. A newcomer to the realm of the dead! Hurry up"

Jin took my hand and put a little kiss on top of it  and then he took me with him and follow Yoongi.

The square was full but what made me jump with joy was to see a familiar figure. But why was he here? He was still young...

"Hoseok... is that you?" I asked as I approached.

"Lady Y/n. How nice to see you here. Then it was true what Namjoon said. Are you really married to a corpse??" He said, noting my firm grip with Jin’s hand

"Um... it’s a long story. But what are you doing here?"

"Well, my lady. I’m not sure what happened. I don’t remember. But it opens up to me that someone murdered me. But for now my face and name run away.

Argh... I don’t even remember if it was a man or a woman"said Hoseok hitting his head with small fists.

Yoongi approached "it’s normal. As soon as you die for a few moments you won’t remember what happened to how you died. Your moment will come sooner or later. Wait and see..."

"Thank you very much, Mr..."

"Min Yoongi. But just call me Yoongi". Hoseok smiled at the boy in front of him and then turned to me again.

"Hoseok... how is everybody up there? They must be so worried..."

"Well, they’re still wondering where you are. And young Kim..."

At the mention of Namjoon my eyes opened wide for concern, but I did not notice the handshake by Jin with his hand in mine.

"Well. He’s getting married. Tonight..."

The world was falling apart on me.

"How? What? WITH WHO?"

"Oh my God... she’s a stranger. Miss... Miss... I don’t really remember her name and surname. My death gave me a terrible amnesia. "

But... he told me he loved me. He was lying...?

"Well, you know. You disappeared and never showed up again... I guess they didn’t want to waste all the expenses for the ceremony."

"But... but how could he..." he didn’t feel the same way I did. Was he deceiving me all this time? He seemed so sincere... and instead...

Jin noticed that something in me was not going well after the news of her now ex-lover’s wedding.

"Y/n come with me" and so I was transported from Jin to who knows where... What was the point of living now? My living soul mate had betrayed me and the other... well... he was dead...

You take me to a roomy room of wooden bars. You couldn’t believe it again... why the love of doing so bad?

"Baby, don’t cry. You have to be strong and move on. I will always be there for you and you will always be my number one priority. My moon... I hope you can love me as I’m loving you in this memento," he said embracing me.

I abandoned myself completely in his arms. After everything you had told him, he still wanted me...

Maybe I deserved Namjoon to betray me. After all, you did it with Seokjin.

But despite his body was not hot, I don’t know. I felt good about it.

But we were interrupted by Jimin.

"Here you are. You were looking for yourself. I just found something interesting."

"What did you find?" Jin asked.

"Well... there is a complication with your marriage. The oath is only valid until death do you part.

"What are you trying to say?"

"Jinnie... death has already separated you. The only solution to be able to officiate everything requires a great sacrifice. "

"What do you mean?"

"She... must die"

Jin’s eyes opened wide and he kept hugging me as Jimin kept talking.

"Y/n should give up his life forever. She should repeat the oath on the land of the people who live and drink the wine of death".

"Jimin... I love her but I can’t ask her to give up her life for me. If I am to die, it must happen at the hands of fate and not mine," said Jin with tears in his eyes.

"I’m sorry but there is no other solution... Her heart must stop forever to be with you"

A tombal silence surrounded us. My life was at stake. But if I had nothing up there now. Nothing worth living for, maybe here...

"I will," I solemnly said.

Jin took my face in his dead hands and Jimin seemed amazed by my words.

"My girl, if you choose this path... you will never be able to return to the world above. Do you understand?"

Look Jin in the eye and I gave him a drink kiss on his lips.

"Yes. I’ll do it to be with you Jin".

He smiled at me, "Give up your life for me? My moon you don’t have to do that."

"But I want... we will be together for eternity Jin. I have no one up there now, but here? I have the love I’ve been looking for for years and I want to do it"

He kissed me again with more passion. Finally our lonely souls would find peace.

"Well, if you’ve decided so. I’ll prepare what it takes to rise to the surface again and the potion for you Y/n" and said that Jimin left.

"We are doing, my love."

"Yes, and i can’t wait to do it...with you".

............................................................................................................

Meanwhile at home Kim the wedding between Namjoon and Yuna had just ended and it was time for the wedding banquet. Namjoon was a sea, indeed an ocean of despair.

Not only did he lose the love of his life, but he had just married a woman who had nothing to do with him. His life was falling apart... completely.

Suddenly Yuna got up to make the toast "Namjoon found a golden wife. Perfect for him. With qualities of great level, worthy of a true woman. Destiny has united us and no one will ever be able to divide us"

Namjoon was beside himself. Destiny said? Lies.

Hoseok had disappeared and his beloved as well. The situation was starting to stink and he knew that she had something to do with it.

"Shut up! You don’t know one of me. I married you just to do my parents a favor but I don’t love you and I never will. My heart belongs only to one person and it’s not you."

Having said that, Namjoon got up from the table and ran away. That would not have been life. He had to run... away from here. From everything and everyone.

The only person who could understand it was missing, and nothing could happen to bring her back.

But as soon as it came out, a noise began to come from the church and a fluorescent green light came out of the windows.

Out of curiosity, Namjoon began to walk towards the sacred building to see what was happening.

...........................................................................................................

The church was decorated with blue and purple rose petals and each deceased occupied a small space to attend the wedding between Lee Y/n and Kim Seokjin.

I was wearing a white, white, elegant wedding dress. My heart was racing. The idea of dying scared me, but if I thought I will find myself in Jin’s arms right away and  he will love me for eternity.. well... It was kind of comforting.

I fixed my veil and when Yoongi called me, I knew that moment was coming.

The church was in celebration and I observed the long failure that would lead me to what would be my future companion in death.

He was beautiful. His purple hair brought out his white eyes and fleshy lips. My heart trembled. I was doing the right thing? Sure. Namjoon had moved on and so I had to do it too. As soon as I got to the altar, Jin took my hands in his hands and stared at me with love. Yes, now I was sure to marry him and make him mine forever.

Jimin had proposed to be our priest to officiate the wedding and as soon as the organ music ended, he started talking.

"Dear friends. We are gathered here today to join this woman and this corpse in marriage."

But as he spoke, Jimin’s eye saw a living young man hiding behind a pillar of the church. It was Namjoon and he was attending the wedding of his beloved with another man. But he pretended nothing and continued.

"Now Y/n. You can start with your oath"

Look into Jin’s eyes with extreme love. I took a breath and started.

"With this hand I will take away your worries. Your chalice will never be empty because I will be your wine," I said as I grabbed the chalice with poison in it.

"It’s your turn, Seokjin." Jimin said.

"With this hand I will take away your worries. Your cup will never be empty because I will be yours..." but Jin interrupted the sentence suddenly. What was going on?

I didn’t know that Namjoon was hiding behind me, who slowly decided to approach the altar. Jin saw him and was surprised to see him there. In front of the people attending his wedding. With a shocked face.

"I... I will be..." he tried to continue

"Your cup will never be empty... because I... will be....." nothing. He couldn’t finish the sentence.

I understood his nervousness. I was like that too and decided to help him.

"... I will be your wine" I concluded the sentence for him while I carried the poison to my mouth.

But before I could take a sip, Jin took it out of my hands.

What was he so suddenly into?

"Y/n can’t do it..." he said in a weak voice.

"What’s wrong with Jin? What’s wrong with you?!" I asked him worried. Why did he change his mind?

Jin, I’m gonna start stroking my face.

"I was a groom, but they deprived me of my dream. Now... I am stealing someone else’s... I love you Y/n. My beautiful moon. Light of my eyes... but you are not mine." Immediately after he looked behind my back "Please. Come closer."

I looked behind me and was shocked to see Namjoon. What was he doing here?

He supposed to be married...

Young Kim slowly approached us. Jin grabbed my and his hand, making them intertwine with each other. I didn’t understand...

"But... you married someone else."

Namjoon took me to himself "my love, they forced me. I did not want to marry her, in fact I ran away to look for you. But now you’re here safe and sound in my arms. Don’t ever let me alone again." He hugs me back but at the same time I looked sadly at Jin. He was giving up his happiness again for me. He was too good... too good for this evil world...

"Jin... thank you," he smiled at me and stroked my head.

"I recommend Kim. Take care of her for me. Don’t hurt her or I’ll come find you. Okay?

Namjoon smiled at the rider’s words before him "Quiet. As you said. It will be my number one priority".

But before anyone could add anything else, a female voice appeared.

"Well, well. Finally our young lovers have gathered".

It was Yuna Choi. What the hell was she doing here?

"Now you can live happily ever after, can’t you? Have your happy ending. But you’ve forgotten one little thing." He forcefully seized Namjoon to bring him close to his side, ripping him from my arms. "He is still my husband and I will not go empty-handed!"

I tried to get close to Namjoon, but Jin’s expression make me stop. He had a look of full anguish on his face.

"You... are her."

Yuna I observe it and began to whiten at the sight of the corpse groom.

"Jinnie...? What are you doing here... I.. I had left you..."

"Dead..." he ended the sentence.

I took my hands to my mouth for surprise. It was her. She had killed him to take possession of his wealth and probably would have done the same with Namjoon.

"But ... leave me alone. You should be underground. Get away from me" She shout him.

But as soon as we tried to intervene, he pulled a knife out from under his skirt and brought it to Namjoon’s throat.

"Sorry, but we really have to go now. Come on, big guy. Let’s go," he said, trying to back off as he took Namjoon with her.

"Get your filthy hands off him! Bitch!" I yelled at her with all the rage I had. It was always her fault. And it was her fault if Jin had to suffer an eternity full of remorse. He did not deserve such a person.

"Oh, do you want to die girl? I’ll settle right away" and quickly she tooks off Namjoon’s neck blade to stab me.

Instinctively I put my arms around trying to protect myself but the pain never came. In fact, something had come between me and the blade.

I looked up and saw the figure of Jin. He protected me with his body...

Yuna was blown away.

"You can’t kill someone who’s already dead. Now get out of here before I kill you with my bare hands," his fury was almost palpable, and anyone inside the church could feel it.

"All right. I’m leaving, my dear," Yuna said, trying to get away, but not before she  grabs the chalice that she found on the altar. My chalice...

"But first I wanna celebrate fo you, Kim Seokjin. He who will be remembered with a simple wedding witness and never as a groom. In fact, tell me if a heart can be beat even if you are dead. Ahahah."

Her laughter made me shiver but at the same time it made me angry. How could she behave so with him... that all his life he shared it is was love.

She nodded to Jin and took a sip of what was in the cup. The poison... the poison that had to kill me to be with Jin... and she had just been drinking it.

But in a few seconds she collapsed on the floor. I covered her with convulsions. I start moving blood out of her mouth as soon as she breathed her last breath, she fell on the floor, died.

I was shocked by the situation but my trance was interrupted by Namjoon’s embrace.

"I thought I’d never see you again, my love. I missed you." I turned to him and returned the gesture.

"When they told me that you had remarried, my heart was broken. I was willing to die as well. But now that I know you love me, everything will be fine, but first..." I walked away from him to get close to Jin. I approached him and gave him a little kiss on his lips, the last before I never saw him again.

He reciprocated with affection and when on detachment from them, he gave me another kiss on my forehead and then he said "Farewell my little moon. It was nice to love someone again. "And having said that, he tooks off the ring I put on him that night and he gave it to me. He smiled at me one last time before approaching the first window where the moonlight illuminated and immediately afterwards his body began to fade away.

Small purple butterflies appared while he was disappearing and they began to fly away, flying towards the moon. Jin wanted more than anything. Now he was free and would not only be known as "the corpse groom" but as the man who taught me to forgive and the true meaning of love.

I looked at Namjoon gently and before I could say anything, she kissed me passionately on the lips.

"It’s time to plan a wedding huh? But this time smoothly. I promise" I smile at his words. I missed him sp much.

I looked one last time at the window where Jin disappeared. The moon was immense and beautiful. Like him.

"Goodbye Kim Seokjin. I love you. I hope to see you again in the next life..."

[ghostdrew22]

Burning From The Inside Out || Draco Malfoy

Requested: No Pairing: Draco Malfoy x fem!reader Warnings: slight angst, slight smut, swearing, mentions of abuse and self-harm Summary: Draco and Y/N evolve from fake dating to friends with benefits to… nothing? Commitment issues, and a general distaste for love, stand in the way of the two of them becoming more.

WORDS : 4710

Lyric snippets I used are from “Love Song” by YUNGBLUD and they’re not in chronological order.

<~>

“All I learned growing up was that love chewed me up Spit me out on the pavement next to the cuts And the blood that my mum and dad would Always take out on each other.”

Draco had always thought that love was fake- a neurological con job meant to bring your guard down and distract you from the more important things in life such as money, sex and success. It made sense why he felt that way- having grown up watching his parents claw at each other until blood was caught between their nails and the venom from their harsh words was lacing the atmosphere so thickly, it felt like a fog- he was bound to think that love didn’t exist.

So when his friends began ask why he wasn’t dating one of the many people that were basically falling at his feet, he froze up. How could he have possibly explained that he thought love was a ridiculous waste of time because he’d watched his parents approach to it and it scarred him so much that he wanted to leave the whole thing alone? He couldn’t. So he did the next best thing, he asked you to fake-date him.

It was a ludicrous idea, you both knew that, but you were his best friend for years and you loved him an immeasurable amount so you figured that there was no harm in helping him out. Besides, you had a lot of people hot on your trail too and you just weren’t interested in romantically committing to anyone- more attracted to the concept of sex with no strings than to the idea of being in a long-term romantic relationship with someone.

But in all honestly, you still don’t know why you’d agreed to do it, it was stupid and a very obvious recipe for disaster. I mean in the moment it had felt like a good enough idea to get Harry Potter off of your back and Pansy Parkinson off of his, but even at the time you knew that you were playing with fire and one of you was bound to get burned.

And the thought surfaced again when you two crossed territory from friends to friends with benefits. It had started with an innocent kiss on his cheek now and then- to convince everyone that you two were actually dating- but as the weeks went by and people began to get suspicious about your lack of PDA (considering Draco’s possessive nature and your touchy nature) it became apparent that the two of you had to up your game. And one afternoon when you were kissing him on the way to class, a switch seemed to flip and soon enough you were pressed up against the broom closet wall as he sunk himself deep inside your walls- trying then and there to drown every inch of you with his touch, to leave every part of you scorching with the feel of him.

It definitely wasn’t love, that much you knew. It was more just an insatiable hunger to destroy one another - to be the best that either of you had ever had so that you would both be ruined for whoever dared to come next. Maybe that should’ve been the first red flag, the first time you noticed just how toxic your little routine was, but it didn’t matter then and frankly, it doesn’t matter much to you now. Because with him logic is quickly thrown out the window and all you can seem to think about is sinking your teeth into him, making him yours, branding him so that the entire school knows not to touch what you’ve claimed as your own- even if there’s no romantic feelings involved, there’s still a harsh possession that nests itself within your relationship. A dark desire to own and be owned in the most filthy of ways, to be looked at like a meal and devoured like a feast by one and one only.

~~~

“Wanna get rid of my period for 9 months?” You groan from your place on the bed and Draco gapes at you.

“Y/N you are so foul!” He exclaims with a chuckle and you barely manage a laugh in your pained state. “Most girls would offer to take me out to dinner first, maybe undress me slowly-“

“When have I ever undressed you slowly?” You ask with a knowing eyebrow raise and Draco smirks back at you.

“Fair point.” He replies and you groan in pain again, “It’s okay, I’m coming don’t worry.” He drops his schoolbag on your bedroom floor and peels his shoes off of his feet before pulling out a brown paper bag from his schoolbag and crawling into bed beside you.

“I got you meds from Madame Pomfrey, drink this now.” He hands you a potion, “It should kick in within the hour.”

“That’s too long.” You whine and he deadpans you- making you shift under his gaze and drink the potion. “It tastes like utter shit.”

“You drink it every month, why aren’t you used to it?” He asks with a laugh and you shrug.

“I think I force myself to forget.”

“Weirdo.” He mumbles before digging back into the paper bag, “I brought you chocolate and Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans to keep you munching.” He pulls out the snacks and hands them to you, “Heat compress to alleviate the pain till the potion kicks in.” He puts the heat compress on your lower abdomen, “And I brought ’Sense & Sensibility’ from the library to keep you distracted.”

“Why ’Sense & Sensibility’?”

“Because I know that you’ve currently got your obsession with muggle authors and I remember you telling me that you loved this woman’s other book so I just grabbed it quickly.” He shrugs and you smile, already starting to feel a little better.

“Thank you.”

“You don’t have to keep thanking me, we do this every month Y/N.” He chuckles.

He’s right, it is your routine. For as long as you can remember being friends with Draco, you can remember him looking after you whenever you have a really bad period- bringing you snacks, massaging you, singing to you, running you baths, anything that could possibly make you feel better. It’s consistent, one of the only things you both have to rely on, but you still can’t help the feeling of immense gratitude that washes over you every time. He always goes above and beyond for you, and you can’t help but feel grateful for him.

“Now,” He says as he drags your attention back to reality, “do you want me to read to you or do want cuddles?” He raises his eyebrows at you and you already know the answer.

“Cuddles.” He laughs at how quickly you respond and puts the book on the table beside your bed before hooking his arms around your waist and helping you both sink into the covers- your head nuzzled into chest as he lays flat on his back and rubs soothing circles into your own.

“Better?” He asks after a few minutes of him massaging your back and you nod eagerly- bringing your fingers up to trace lines across his collarbone in an effort to keep yourself occupied. He shivers at the feeling of your fingertips against his skin and you smile. “Keep doing that and I will have to take you up on that offer of taking away your period for nine months.”

~~~

“Nobody taught me how to love myself.”

“Standing there, you look at me Understanding everything”

The sudden eruption of voices in the hallway has you rapidly turning your neck toward the sound, just in time to catch a glimpse of Draco storming away from the rest of his exhausted quidditch teammates and into another hallway that leads to the dungeons. From what you’d seen he had looked furious and the rest of the team looks very solemn, so you say goodbye to Tracey Davis and quickly shuffle toward the team so that you can ask Blaise what happened.

Blaise catches your eye right before you reach him and opens his arms to hug you- draping one arm around your shoulders and pulling you into him so he can kiss your forehead. “Bad practice, he couldn’t do anything right today.” He says- already knowing what question was on your mind.

“Do you know what’s up with him?” You look up at him with furrowed eyebrows and his shakes his head with a shrug.

“No clue. He was perfectly fine this morning, then by the time practice came he was fuming.”

“He’s angry?”

“He was angry. Now he’s just… sad?” Blaise sighs, “I really don’t know what’s going on, please check on him?”

You nod with a small smile and make to leave, “I’ll go see him right now.”

By the time you reach the common room Draco’s already in his room- something you figured out from the sound of his door slamming harshly- and you trek up to it nervously.

“Draco?” You ask softly as you open the door and find him hunched over his desk- still fully draped in quidditch gear.

He snaps his head up quickly and meets your eyes with a cold stare. “What?”

“Okay, rude.” You mumble as you step into the room and lean against the door.  “Are you okay?”

He scoffs and rolls his eyes as he turns to face you from across the room, “Yeah, I’m bloody great.” He shrugs, “I’m the world’s worst seeker and my mother’s in the hospital, it’s truly a wonderful life.” He drawls sarcastically.

You push yourself off of the door at the mention of his mother and quickly stride toward him, “What do you mean your mother’s in the hospital?” You raise your eyebrows- concern erupting from your throat.

He doesn’t say anything but slowly turns behind him and picks up a letter from the desk to hand to you. He sighs and leans against the desk as you take it from him and begin to read the letter from his father.

a mild heart attack as she fell down the stairs.

Your eyes glaze over with anger as you scrunch the letter up and toss it to the ground. You’re no stranger to the abuse that goes on in the Malfoy household- having heard it yourself one night when you’d spend a weekend at their home- and you know that what Lucius really means is that he hit her so hard that she had to be hospitalised. You open your mouth to speak but Draco shakes his head and cuts you off.

“No. No Speaking.” You nod as he sighs and rubs his hands across his face in frustration. You take no offense at his words because, to be honest, nothing you could’ve said would make it better anyway. This has happened so often, too often really, that the two of you have evolved passed the need to converse about it.

“Fuck!” He exclaims suddenly and you flinch at the outburst- making him soften instantly as he turns to face you. “I’m sorry, I… I didn’t mean to startle you.”

You nod in forgiveness and he reaches his arms out for you, and you do as he asks and sink into his arms- running your hands through his hair as he leans on the desk and you stand.

“I hate him.”

“I know.” You pull away from him and cup his face so he looks into your eyes. “Go take a shower, you stink.”

He laughs sadly and nods as he stands and starts walking to the bathroom. He stops midway and turns back to you, “Will you still be here when I get back?”

“Where else would I go?” You raise your eyebrows at him with a smile and he smiles back before slipping into his prefect bathroom to shower.

While he’s showering you decide to get changed into something more comfortable- putting on one of his shirts over your underwear- and put out his favourite pyjama pants on the bed for him to wear once he’s gotten out of the shower. Then you climb into his bed and start reading the copy of ‘Sense & Sensibility’ that he got after reading with you and realising Jane Austen is actually pretty good, while you wait for him to get done.

“Nobody taught me how to love myself So how can I love somebody else?”

You’re so entranced by the book that you don’t even notice him come back into the room until he’s speaking to you from the foot of the bed. “Did you take these out for me?”

“Mhmm.” You respond without taking your eyes off the page in front of you.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welco-“ You gasp as your eyes come off the page and meet his figure. He’s still dripping from the shower, a towel tied around his torso, and he’s got bruises all around his abdomen. “Draco!”

You get up and climb round the bed to get him, and he barely has any time to slide his bottoms on before he starts shuffling away from you.

“It’s nothing, I promi-“ He winces as soon as one of your hands makes contact with a bruise near his ribs.

“Draco.” You pull your hand back angrily and speak with a warning tone.

“Y/N it’s-“

“You promised me this would stop.” You state firmly and he gulps in fear. “We’ve been friends what, 6 years now? And in the six years that we’ve known each other I’ve done a countless amount of shit for you, no fucking questions asked. I ask, no, I beg you to do one thing and you can’t even do that?”

“It just happened.” He sighs tiredly and you scoff with a laugh.

“No, it didn’t just happen. You let it happen. Or am I wrong?”

“I-“

“You know what? I don’t even want to hear it.” You walk back to the bed with a shake of your head.

You’ve asked him a million times not to go sparring with Blaise, Crabbe and Goyle before Quidditch practice because he always comes back black and blue- smothered in painful bruises on his entire abdomen. He only does it because he thinks that he deserves the pain, that in some weird way he’s getting what’s due to him for existing. It’s his own way of self-harming and it’s led him to Madame Pomfrey more times than you can possibly remember.

He promised you months ago that he’d stop for good, that he’d start taking better care of himself and stop looking for excuses to get hurt when he felt bad about himself.  But bad habits, it seems, tend to die hard when you’re self-loathing masochist who can’t trust his best friend enough to talk to her when he starts to feel like shit.

“I’m sorry, I just needed something to take my mind off of it.” He trails behind you and picks up his wand to cast a silencing charm- anticipating the screaming match that you’re both about to have.

“Why didn’t you just talk to me? I’m your fucking best friend, what the hell else am I here for?”

“I know, I’m sorry I just…”

“You just?”

“I’m always coming to you with my problems, burdening you with my thoughts and it’s just not fair.”

“What?” You snap at him in confusion.

“I come crying to when my parents are doing their usual shit, I come to you when I have a bad Quidditch game, I come to you when I get a bad grade- fuck- I even come to you when I’m too scared to get into a relationship-“

“I chose to help you with that, don’t fucking act like you forced me into this because it was mutually beneficial.”

“That’s not the bloody point Y/N!” He yells in exasperation.

“Then what is the fucking point Draco?” You yell back.

He sighs, clenches his fists and closes his eyes. “The point is, I’m more bad than good for you, I’m a burden.”

You gasp at his words and sit on the edge of the bed as you look up at him in astonishment. That’s what he said to you the first time that you talked about his home life, ‘I think that they fight because of me, I ruined their lives. I’m a burden.’

“You’re not a burden.”

“You say that now. Until the day when you want more comes and I can’t give it to you.” He sits on the edge of the bed beside you, “One day this won’t be enough- you’ll want someone who can love you the way that you want to be loved- and I won’t be strong enough to do that. And then I’ll lose the only good thing I have in my life.”

“I’ll never leave you- I don’t think I could even if I tried.” You laugh awkwardly and pull him into your chest for a hug. “I don’t want more Draco, I don’t think I ever will. It sounds hard to believe but being best friends who occasionally have mind-boggling sex is quite enough for me, it makes me happy.”

“Promise me that you’ll tell me if you want more.” He mumbles into your chest.

“I promise bug.” You whisper as you rub his back soothingly- letting him relax into your embrace.

After a few seconds of silence he speaks again, “They’re going to kill each other.” He whispers- so quiet that you think maybe you imagined it-   before a soft sob escapes his lips.

“Shh, it’s okay.” You whisper back and continue soothing him by running your fingers along his bare back- stopping every few seconds to massage his ribs a bit- in an effort to help him calm down.

You don’t tell him that they won’t, because in all honesty you don’t know if they won’t, but you hold him tight for as long as he needs and promise him that you’ll be there for him. And that’s enough for the both of you- knowing that you’ll always be there for each other.

You sit like that for a while as he calms down and his breathing evens out- his head in your chest as one of your hands holds his and the other digs into his skin softly. It’s when he stops rubbing his thumb along the back of your hand, and instead starts rubbing it up and down your thigh, that you realise he’s finally breathing normally again. “Y/N?”

“Hm?” You hum in response as he pulls his head out of your chest and brings his lips up to your neck.

“Can we have some of that mind-boggling sex you talked about?” He asks against your collarbone and you laugh at his sudden change in attitude.

“I take it someone’s feeling better?” You ask as you let him take control of the situation and push you onto your back against the mattress.

“No.” He says, voice muffled as his lips graze against the skin on your neck, as his hands travel along your sides delicately. “But I need to feel you.”

“Dra-“ You start to protest- wanting to tell him that he can’t fuck his sadness away- but he cuts you off with a chaste kiss to your lips as his hands find their way beneath the t-shirt that you’re wearing and come up to unhook your bra.

“Please?” He asks desperately when he finally pulls away from your lips, his voice raw and raspy, “Let me take care of you princess.”

You’re still hesitant to agree, worried that he’s using this as a coping mechanism and scared that it’ll worsen the pain he’s feeling in his abdomen, but his lips find that soft spot behind your ear and you melt into his grasp like ice-cream on a thirty-degree day. “Let me make you feel good.”

“Okay.” Is all you say before he’s making good on his promise and making you feel so good that it’s as if there’s lava crawling beneath your bones.

His lips and hands are everywhere you need them, not hesitating to give you what you want as they usually do, not acting at a torturously slow pace. Tonight there’s no teasing, no tug-of-war between you both to see who cracks first, there’s just immense passion and trust- all the unsaid words left floating in the air are now dancing between your lips as they connect over and over again.

In this moment he’s Picasso and all he can think about is painting over you with his lips, his hands, his cock as it digs against your inviting walls, with every colour of the rainbow until the world itself is drained of all vibrancy because he’s given it all to you.

You meant what you said before, sex with Draco is always mind-boggling and lip-bitingly pleasurable, but this is different. It makes you finally understand what people mean when they say that they can see God at the height of their climax- that they feel as though their bodies are overheating and they’re going to combust at any moment.

He has never been this soft before, usually sex with him is fast, rough, hard, and all about building up the tallest tower of arousal so you can both knock it down with earth-shattering orgasms. But this is so different. This is soft, sensual, almost slow in a way- it says more than any words you two could possibly try to use to explain how much you value each other. You’re not in love, that’s for sure, but this feeling, this painfully exquisite moment, is the closest thing you two will ever get to uttering the words, “I love you”, to each other.

Who needs love when the two of you have each other to make you feel like you’re both burning from the inside out?

~~~

Now, as you sit next to him in Potions and watch intently as he chops up the next set of ingredients, you think that perhaps it’s you who’s going to set on fire.

“Y/N? Are you listening?”

“Hm?” You furrow your eyebrows at him as you zone back in, “Sorry, I zoned out for a second.”

“You seem to be doing a lot of that lately, are you okay?” He asks genuinely as he stops working on the potion to focus a soft gaze on you.

You gulp and nod, giving him a fake smile, “Yes, of course, don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, seriously.” You bring your hand up to his arm as reassurance and smile again- trying to ignore how taut his muscles feel beneath your fingers, even with all the fabric between them- “What were you saying?”

“Oh!” He smiles brightly, “I was asking if you want to go down to the Black Lake next period? Since we’re both free?”

“And do what?” You narrow your eyes at him but grin still.

“I don’t know- drown ourselves, skinny dip, have a picnic- whatever your heart desires.”

“If you’re just looking for an excuse to see me naked then all you have to do is ask.” You smirk.

“I wouldn’t need to take you all the way there if I wanted to see you naked.” He grins widely and you roll your eyes, “I’ve just been wanting to go down there for a while and I thought I might as well bring you along.”

“Because you love my company?”

“Because you probably have nothing better do and no one else to hang out with.”

“We both know half the boys in this grade would drop everything for ten minutes with me, I could easily find someone to hang out with.” You reply very brazenly and he rolls his eyes at you. It’s true, more than half of the boys in the grade have tried to ask you out at least once, Potter being the most insistent, and if push came to shove you could easily find someone else to spend your free period with.

Not that you want to, free periods with Draco have actually become one of your favourite pastimes. Usually spent working on extra school work, or chatting, or trashing on Harry Potter- which happens considerably often since you both don’t like him.

“Too bad for them because you’re coming with me.”

“Because?” You raise your eyebrows at him- waiting for him to admit what you want to hear- and he mumbles a reply that you don’t quite catch- “Excuse me?”

“Because I love your company…”

“I know.” You smile with a giggle.

“Sweetheart, you are Changing my mind”

“There ain’t no excuses I swear that I’m doing my best”

“Do you still think love is fake?” You ask as you both lie in the grass and stare up at the sky- enjoying one of the only sunny days you’ll be getting this June.

“Hm?” Draco hums in questioning and you turn on your side to face him- propping your head up on your palm as you lean on your elbow.

“Love. Do you still think it’s a hoax?”

He sighs and blinks a bit before taking a gulp and averting his eyes from the sky to meet your own. “I don’t know.”

“I think in the time that we’ve been pretending to date, I’ve felt a lot of new emotions that I’d never felt before. I can’t tell you if it’s love or not because well, I don’t know what that’s supposed to look like or feel like, but I do know that I like it. It’s different to anything I’ve ever felt before because it’s comfortable and warm- it’s home in a way. It’s the kind of feeling home is meant to give me, not the dread and fear I feel when I get off the Hogwarts Express and find my parents waiting for me on the platform. Not the emptiness I feel when I have to sit through dinners with them and we have to pretend that we’re a happy family. Not the sadness I feel when I’m locked up in my room and I can hear them screaming at each other at the top of their lungs downstairs. It doesn’t feel like what I feel when I think of the Malfoy Manor, the only way I can describe what it feels like is by saying that it feels like what I feel when I think of you, or when I’m with you.”

“And what do you feel when you think of me?” You ask.

“I feel safe and happy and like there’s fire coursing through my veins - almost like I’m burning from the inside out. I don’t know if that’s what love is supposed to feel like- I’ve got no one to ask- but I know that I like feeling that way.” He closes his eyes and takes a breath, “So, to answer your question, I don’t know if I still think love is fake. All I know is that I don’t feel that hopelessness that usually consumes me, when I’m with you.”

You look at him in awe- utterly speechless and completely amazed by the words he’s just spoken to you. You can’t ask him for anything more than that, he’s clearly trying his best to be open to love and honest with you, and you don’t really want more anyway- it’s enough knowing that the two of you make each other happy. What you two have is enough. “You are fucking ethereal.” You breathe out as you sink back to the ground and go back to looking at the sun.

“So are you.” Draco says back as he picks up your hand and intertwines your fingers together. He doesn’t think that love is a hoax, he thinks that maybe he’s falling in love with you, but he’s not ready to admit that just yet- not when the fear of the only solid good thing in his life disappearing still haunts him with every waking moment. Not when you’re not showing any signs of romantic attraction toward him, because he can’t afford to be another dotted line in your book of conquests just because he got soft and caught feelings for you.

He’s not sure of himself yet, how can he be when no one ever taught him how to trust in his ability to be lovable? How can he be when even his own mother and father give him leftover scraps of affection veiled as the unconditional love of parents. Letting himself fall in love with you is a big risk to take when his own insecurities swarm his thoughts day and night, when his own fear of commitment swallows him up whole at every interval in which he thinks he’s ready to be vulnerable. No, he’s not ready to fall in love with you yet. But he’s trying to get there.

<~>

So, this ending is not what I originally envisioned, that one was a lot more compact and fluffy than this one is but I much prefer this one. When I first started writing this fic I actually started with the ending and worked my way backwards but when I finally got to the beginning I realized that the ending just didn’t fit anymore and I had to end it here.

I’m much happier with this ending because it’s undefined and open to interpretation. In a way Y/N is aromantic but in a way she’s also not- I couldn’t decide so I left it in a way that the reader can decide.

I’m planning on using the original ending in something different, which I will post here once it’s done, but yeah, this is the fic.

Anyway, love you all,

jean <3

[yesokaythatsfine69]

You Sexy Thing (Levi Ackerman x reader)

Description: Often Captain Levi is a little shit, and sometimes- he needs to be reminded about who's in control.

Character(s): Y/n, Levi

Pov: 2nd person, third person

Warning(s): SMUT!!! PORN WITHOUT PLOT- PEGGING, 18+

A/n: I keep seeing all this talk about pegging Levi Ackerman but I couldn't find anything to show- so in the words of Thanos, "I guess I'll do it myself"

Word Count:

*none of the Gifs used are mine, full credit goes to the maker :)

Your fists clenched, nails digging into the palms, on the verge of breaking skin. The yelps of your fellow squad members caused your teeth to grind. They had to have ran over four miles today- probably more- they had to do suicides double time, all of this shit and more were because the lovely supreme commander of heaven and hell, Squad leader Levi Ackerman had felt their cleaning of the stalls had been less than ideal.

Currently you were in the midst of doing push ups till he deemed fit. You glanced up at the captain, watching as his silver eyes roamed over the lot of you. Even as you seethed and raged- he was still the most gorgeous sight your eyes had ever laid upon. Levi's hair was raven black, in contrast to his light skin and silvery orbs. His hair was what caught you at first- the way it seemed to fall over his eyes just a bit.

It was long enough you could pull your fingers through- you were sure. You could only imagined how soft it must be. Levi facial features also caught you at a loss for words- they were quite dainty. Long black eye lashes, a soft line nose, and thin pink lips. God, was he pretty.

Your eyes moved from their spot, away from your Adonis and to the ground. No matter how pretty he was, he was still a bastard.

You mumbled incoherently to yourself, flexing your fists. The pain of doing another pushup finally getting to you. "Tch, I think you've all learned your lessons." You looked up again, knees dropping. The Devil himself spoke, lifting his hand and waving it in dismissal. "Go to the showers, you brats stink." Blowing a strand of hair from your eye, you rolled your shoulders back, taking Petra's outstretched hand as you bounded up.

No one spoke as they dispersed. You were itching for a shower, and you practically ran to get one.

You were dead tired, dead sleepy, and running on pure anger.

You watched the water flow into the drain near your feet, fixated on nothing but the boiling water as it hit you. Your anger had not evaporated-it simply grew. If he thought he could've done a better job, maybe he should have done it. You slammed the water off.

Or perhaps- and this was just a thought- he could let you get some real training in, instead of wasting your time and energy on being punished.

Punished.

Your eyes narrowed.

You stepped from the shower, one foot at a time.

Perhaps...the omnipotent captain Levi deserved a punishment of his own. Something that would...bring him down a peg.

You smiled, remembering a certain box hid underneath just for this type of reason.

"I think I might have just the thing."

--------------------------------------------------

Levi was just as sexy (if not more) than he was pretty. Something about him, oozed it. Maybe it was the way he walked, confident but not egotistical. They way spoke- his voice. His dry humor, his bleak expressions, his impeccable fighting skills and savagery...his taunt ass, or maybe it was the way his uniform hugged his body.

Your hands tugged at a box that laid deep beneath your bed. It scraped against the floor, finally sliding directly in front of you. You unhooked the latch, pulling out the important piece of equipment you'd need tonight.

You bit your tongue.

--------------------------------------------------

The truth was, you could spot a bottom from a mile away. It was also the people who needed control in their daily lives- people who needed everything perfect. At night they liked to take a break- to be controlled. Who were you to judge? You couldn't blame them, not hardly.

You knocked at his office door. It was late, barely a few minutes before lights out. For several seconds nothing happened, but you waited. Patience was a specialty.

"Come in." The tone was annoyed, and as you entered you could see why. He had stacks of papers before him, a signal candle lighting the room. Levi rubbed his temples, a sign that the dim lighting had an affect.

His eyes flickered up to met yours, "lieutenant Y/L/N?" The air was tense and goosebumps erupted across your forearms. "Captain Levi, I'm glad I caught you." His Expression remained unchanging. "Tch, yeah, I'm sure. What do you want, brat?"

You smiled, your hands intertwining from behind your back. "You to apologise." His entire body paused. Levi twitched his head to the side, a small movement. "Oh? So you're here to waste both are times then, y/l/n." You turned, locking his office door behind you.

Levi stood. "Oi, oi, oi, what do you think you're doing?" You turned back to face him. "The only person who wasted our time today was you." His eyes narrowed slightly. This was a side of you he hadn't been used to. Sure, he'd seen this intense focus on your face before, this same expression you wore when you sliced and diced titan after titan.

"Tch, what are you on about you stupid-" I'm flash you had his hair in your grip, dragging his head to you. "It's not nice to call people stupid, Levi." His eyes were wide, and his face was inches away from your own. "I can forgive that though, especially when you look so pretty like this."

His eyes sunk back, his shock leaving him. "Oi, I guess you've got me where you want me." You smiled, innocence twinkled in your irises. "Not yet I don't." Loosening your tight grip, you gently guided his head to close the gap between you two.

His eyes fluttered close upon impact, the tenseness he often carried with his resolve melting away with the warmth of your lips. You hummed, feeling the way he seemed to open up with your touch. Gently you scratched his scalp, pulling a sigh from his mouth.

When it opened you wasted no time slipping in your tongue. He tasted like tea, which wasn't suprising but was rather delightful. He let out a small groan as she gave his bottom lip a small bite, tugging softly. Her hands slipped underneath his shirt, dancing across his warm chest and abs. The feeling of what lied beneath was enticing and she pulled away eager to see it.

Levi groaned when you left him, an irritated, "y/n." Leaving his lips as his arms tried to find you, to bring you back to him. You escaped him though and worked to pull his shirt off.

When you had an object so important it was natural that worked as efficiently as possible to succeed. With that mindset you had him shirtless within seconds, Levi felt that had to be some type of record.

With his comfort in mind as soon as his shirt was off you folded it properly, working as efficiently as you had to take if off of him. When your eyes met his, they twinkled with something akin to admiration. You smiled and pulled him into a chaste kiss, his tongue moving to part your lips, but fire he could succeed you began moving.

You kissed his chin, and he frowned. "What are-" Then you kissed his neck and a shiver racked his body. His breath quickened and shook, your lips planting directly over his heartbeat. You sucked, making sure to leave him as many reminders of tonight as you could.

Your lips moved down his chest, blessing each nipple with a tug of teeth. Licking a stripe down his v line, you unbottoned his pants. He moaned, "y/n..." Watching as you tugged down his underwear with your teeth. His length sprained free, looking almost as eager as you.

"Stunning..." You spoke licking a line up his shaft. His legs shook at your move and you laughed, wrapping your first around his base. "It can't be this easy, Levi." He blinked looking down at you in bewilderment.

You lifted yourself up, becoming eye level with him. As light as a feather you stroked his cheek, his head leaning into your hand as though it were instinct. "I figured humanity's strongest would have put up more of fight." His eyes narrowed. "Especially since you seem to love giving orders." Your nails stabbed into his skin, his eyes widened and he pulled back "tch! You bitch!"

Your other hand grabbed his neck, squeezing it and bringing him to you. "I've wanted you for so long. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be so close and yet so far, to someone everyone wants." "Y/n." Levi whimpered as your hand tightened around his throat. "Maybe you do know how much you're wanted. Maybe you like it." You let go and he fell forward, you catching him.

"I guess we'll just have to add that to lists of why you must be punished." You pushed him to his knees, his pants still wrapped around his ankles. Your foot spread his legs apart, and kept them there. Your hand found his chin, pulling his face up.

"i hope you like this view, you'll need to get used to it." You pulled up your shirt, taking it off effortlessly. His eyes widened at your chest- you had chosen to go braless. Then, they relaxed, his tongue going between his teeth.

You pulled your pants off next, and then your underwear. The strap you had put on before you left your room flung out, and Levi looked between you and it. "Like I said, you need to be punished..." You stroked the strap on. "I consider this the punisher." You voice had dropped an octave lower.

Levi took on a dazed expression, half lidden eyes taking in the sight. "Open your mouth." His eyes flickered back up to you. They were big and puppy like."I said." You reached down and pinched his two cheeks together. "Open. Your. Mouth." His pretty little mouth popped open, and your hips thrusted the device in. Your hand ran through his hair as he sucked, when you reached the back of his head you pushed him forward.

Levi gagged around your cock, the fake tip hitting the back of his throat. Tears prickled, in his eyes, but your coos to take in more, to be a good boy for you, they caused his brows the furrow as he adjusted and did what he could to please you.

Using your grip on his head he allowed you guide him at your will, submitting to the drive of your hands. His eyes closed finally and your leg pressed up against his own hard on. "Who would've thought humanity's strongest could look so hot sucking dick." You spoke softly, causing your good boy to moan into the dick.

Finally, you pulled away watching the strings of salvia appear and separate as you let him go. His head bobbled towards you, his eyes barely open.

"fuck me...please." you bent down to where he was. "Oh baby..." Again, you stroked his cheek gently. "I'll do so much more than that to you. When I'm done with you...you won't be able to walk tomorrow." His breathe caught and you laughed. "Be my good boy and go to your desk. Ass out."

You watched him stand and walk to his desk, still filled with long forgotten papers and a dimly lit candle. You stood and moved to the neat pile you had placed his clothes in.

You pulled out his belt, smiling and snapping it. This could be useful.

You moved to where he stood, wrapping yourself behind him. "How well you listen, Levi." You slammed his upper body down onto the desk, pulling his hips up. His ass was on full display in the air, as perky as you imagined. Taking two fingers, you shoved them up is mouth.

Levi didn't need a command, his tongue went right to work. He wrapped it around your fingers while he moaned, pushing his hips against you and your cock.

"cheeky, cheeky." You smirked taking your free hand to grab his ass. Finally satisfied you pulled her fingers from his mouth.

"more..." His voice rasped out. "More? I haven't even started." With that you pushed your fingers into his tight hole. You began scissoring them, watching as he twitched beneath you. His breathing became louder the more you curled. Then you hit his prostate and he cried out, gasping at the intense pleasure you gave him.

Your fingers pulled out, and you reached for the belt that you had placed beside him for such a moment. "Tch, y/n please you must-" you reared the belt back and slammed it forward, the belt bouncing off his ass with a thrup! Sound. He gasped delightedly, his cheek pressed up against the cold metal of his desk.

Again you reared down, jolting his body. "You." Slap. "Think." Slap. "That." Slap. "You." Slap. "Can." Slap. "Just." Slap. "Treat." Slap. "People." Slap. "Like." Slap. "Shit." Slap. "Just." Slap. "Because." Slap. "You." Slap. "Are." Slap. "A." Slap. "Squad." Slap. "Leader." Tears streamed from his eyes, ass red and tender.

"you can't." You grabbed his hands from his sides, "and now you're going to be tied up with your own belt, right after you were just spanked with your own belt." You slide the belt around till it was tight enough to only hurt a bit.

Then you you raised his hands directly over his head. This was used as something to grip onto while you fucked him.

Her other hand made sure you two were properly aligned, and with little more than a grunt you thrusted in. A breath released from his body, a shout escaped his lips as you bottomed out.

You waited several seconds, gently stroking his face and cooing to him, waiting. Finally he nodded, telling you everything you needed to know. You pulled back, almost completely out, save for the tip before you plowed into him.

Your hips thrusted- hard and faster. The only way Levi Ackerman deserved- rough. Each time you bottomed out he grunted and it became a steady rhythm of grunts.

"nnnuh...nuuhhnn..ahhh..." He was drooling, each hit of his prostate weakening his resolve a bit more and making him a bit more needy for more.

Your position made it almost impossible for him to move and he could really only met your thrusts. "Harder!" He gasped out, tears running down his face, drool dripping from his mouth.

Your hand reached around and tugged along his dick, high pitched whines now leaving the captains mouth. "Y/n! Y/n I'm so close please, please." You bent down and bit into his shoulder, causing another Yelp to leave the squad leader.

"cum, bitch." You whispered to his ear and with a cry Levi Ackerman came, his eyes practically crossing as he painted his chest and desk white.

He laid their several seconds, breathing harshly and listening to the sounds of your praises. He was a good boy, he was. He was your good boy now, all yours.

Gently you helped him up and into his shower, fully discarding his bottoms and your strap, to take back to your room to wash.

You cleaned, scrubbed, and were as gentle as possible, making sure to help him to his bed.

You pulled your shirt over your head. "I can stay till you leave for breakfast...if you want that is but-" he cut you off. "Tch...Stay as long as you want." He pulled himself up and onto his elbows. "Especially since you didn't cum."

You raised a brow. "Levi, I appreciate it, but I don't think you're read yet...I mean- we-" again he cut you off. "Y/n, my mouth is always ready."

You paused. He was right, you hadn't cum and not very often did the people you slept with care. He was offering his mouth to you- not that Levi surprised you much- he was very caring and it seemed natural he'd be that way in bed.

You smiled and tugged off your shirt. "I hope you're hungry." You crawled into the bed, barely having to do a damn thing as Levi simply hoisted you up- as if you weighed nothing- and sat you on his face.

His nose carded through your folds- parting them for his tongue. Your hips buckled against him, thighs closing around his face. His hands came up and wrapped around them, pressing them together.

"Fuck, Levi." You moaned as his tongue licked from your hole to your clit, where he sucked for several seconds. Again he pushed his nose up into you, allowing you to ride his face and practically suffocate him. "God, you're so good." You squealed, yanking at his raven locks. He had definitely done this before and definitely knew how good he was.

He hummed into you, pushing you down each time your hips buckled up. Finally it seemed he had enough with your erratic movements before he flipped you into your back and moved so that he was on his stomach, mouth never leaving your core.

Your legs wrapped around his head as he ate, each time dipping his head in deeper to your core. His tongue fucked your hole with urgency, meaning, desire and finally with one final plunge you came, wetting his face.

He pulled away, allowing you to sit up. Your legs were shaky, but you moved so that you were directly in front of him. You licked your juices from his face, meeting him in a chaste kiss.

"Maybe I should be more harsh on you cadets more often." He spoke hurriedly as she pushed him down. You tutted. "Did you really learn nothing, my sweet boy?" He shrugged allowing you to pin his hands down above him.

"What can I say? I am the leader of the brats."

--------------------------------------------------

BONUS

Erwin frowned at his friend and colleague. The two had been eating breakfast together and everything had seemed rather ordinary until Erwin noticed a bruise on the side of Levi's neck.

"uh..Levi?" Levi glanced up. "Where did you get that bruise?" Levi frowned at Erwin. "What bruise?" Erwin rolled his eyes impatiently. "The one on your neck."

"Hello everyone! I hope everyone slept well!" Hanji appeared interrupting the conversation. She slid into a chair on the other side of Levi, smiling happily.

Erwin made a few more glances at Levi's neck, but felt it best to leave it, lest he be smitted by the all powerful Levi Ackerman.

--------------------------------------------------

A/n: BARK BARK BARK okay I definitely got a bit...carried away. Anyways I hope you enjoyed this, thanks for reading, and pls feel free to give critism!

[ruusattukoira]

Such a wild thing to me as a person with ADHD is how easily i forget my own limits and cross them again and again untill i physical know i can't keep doing it?

Like if I'm in the fuckjng mood and have so much energy that the only way it can be relieved is through banging a mf six inches of cut pool noodle on a kicking pads (or those sturdy pads that are used in karate, judo etc to practice kicks ) I'll ducking keep doing it without realizing how stimulating that shit is lmao !

You see we were basically having boffer weapon practise in gym class. Y'know those fake swords and weapons + shields that are used in LARPing in general. I went completely ham since I'm pretty aggressive when it comes to the fights(take it with me being 5'1 and a small individual with lots and lots of energy and slight anger problems), got really light headed after a while knew it wasn't about me having to have a drink and knew something was so internally wrong that i had to lay down and have some floor time bc that relieved the shit like a magic on the last break.

Then for the last ten minutes i felt a possible meltdown coming and removed myself from the class to calm down without saying anything. And i ended up staying in the bathroom till the class was over just calming myself down as i cried for being so overstimulated and realising i fucked up this time and didn't even regret it afterwards since i could calm myself down enough to not have a full blown meltdown. The last thing i wanna do is worry my classmates and make myself look really stupid for crying over such a thing.

Same thing last week where i actually ended up having a meltdown due to overstimulation bc we had led-light vests and that shits bright afff and getting overstimulated in a matter of thirty minutes by mere lights flashing around when we run in complete darkness. Also i think my teacher does not in fact know what overstimulation means and just thought I was being ass about the lights. Like kinda, but even if I'm photophobic by eyes i can actually be there and play bc i don't mind having a migraine as much as the fucking headaches that comes with me crying excessively or/and being mad bc now I'm overstimulated and really really confused for the bursts of anger i have been having due to having a meltdown.

[genshin-impacted]

empress of the first water // Zhongli x Reader (4)

Word Count: ~2.8k

Palace/Harem Imperial Drama AU: You are a princess, soon-to-be-Empress, and Zhongli is the teacher invited by the royal court to show you the ropes before you ascend to the throne after a royal tragedy.

Notes: female!reader (she/her), Zhongli/Reader, Zhongli POV, mutual pining ofc, fake politics, can I call this slow burn yet

[Previous] [Next]

Chapter 4 Synopsis: Of the secrets that people keep, how much can they say without saying anything about it at all?

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.

.

You are falling for your tutor. That much, at least, is clear to you. Your quickened heart rate, the way your heart flutters when he smiles, and how your mood lifts when he praises you-- if wisdom is to know thyself, then you consider yourself wise enough to know that you see Zhongli xiansheng as more than just a teacher.

But what of him? You wonder, how does he think of you? Does he know what he means to you? Does he feel the same?

“My lady?" Amber asks you, when you dip your head underneath the rose-infused waters of your bath. "What is wrong?”

“Nothing,” you reply back quickly, hugging your knees to your chest. You take a glance at the mauve coat that Zhongli had left on your shoulders and think about how it will still smell like him.

Amber can only look at you in mild concern when you bury your heated face into your hands and try not to think of kind eyes, a warm embrace, and a gentle voice.

(But you do anyway.)

.

.

.

.

Zhongli finds himself talking more freely than ever in your presence, especially now that the two of you have made it a habit of walking around the compound or drinking tea to pass the time together. He talks about fantastical things or expands on random trivia he thinks you would enjoy, even though he finds himself more often than not overindulging.

Your eyes are bright and alert when he tells you about the folktales he had learned when he was younger, so he tells you as many as you can in the cold, wintry months. Under the cozy kotatsu imported over from Inazuma, Zhongli shares slices of mandarin with you as he retells the history of the Qilin to you-- a mythical creature whose stone statues stand at guard in front of the main compounds of the palace.

“In many stories, the Qilin is sacred pets of the gods and rank highly only below the dragon and the phoenix,” Zhongli says, accepting the last slice of fruit you slide into his hands. "It’s said to appear with the imminent arrival or passing of a sage or illustrious ruler."

“I see…” You listen to him attentively, hands absently clearing the table of the orange peels without saying a word. You let out a breath of laughter as you joke, “Hopefully, if I pray hard enough, the Qilin might gift their presence when I ascend to the throne.”

“Nonsense,” Zhongli replies immediately. “If the qilin does exist, you do not need prayer for the qilin to appear before you, as benevolent as you are, my Princess.” He takes the slice and brings it to his lips to taste the sweetness of the mandarin, catching a glimpse at the way you hide your smile behind your hand.

“You have a way with words as usual,” you tell him. “You spoil me with praises, xiansheng; how ever will I survive without them now?” You bemoan, laughing afterwards. Though he knows you’re joking--surely-- he still feels his heart tremble at your words. It is in these moments that he feels keenly how it is to be Amber, abashed by the praise that flows freely from your lips and by the fondness that rings true through the way you speak. To be at the center of your attention is something that Zhongli understands very well to be addicting.

It is only when Zhongli hears the light rapping of knuckles on wood does he realize how long he has spoken and how late it is.

"My apologies," Zhongli says, surprised from his thoughts to bow his head (you fussed at him about apologizing before, but even with your kind reprimands, it is hard for him to kick the habits ingrained in him). "I didn't mean to dominate the conversation this entire time. It's even time for supper--"

"Bamboo Shoot Soup," you pipe up instead, and he can only look up at you stunned as you thank the maid. She sets down the pair of utensils in front of the two of you and clears the table to make space for the large metal hotpot. "It's your favorite dish, isn't it?” You say cheekily, “I thought it was a perfect dish to eat during the cold weather."

What are the protocols to eating dinner with the royal family? Zhongli thinks to himself warily, feeling wildly as though he is constantly stepping out of line despite his learned nature. Still, you would scold him for his distancing, so Zhongli decides to do as the both of you please, as improper as it may be, and waits to be served.

The bamboo soup is beautifully slow-cooked, the broth milky white; just taking a waft of the aroma is enough for him to know that the meat is tender and the bamboo shoots are soaked to the center with flavor. The warmth that pervades is partly due to the fresh heat of the soup but also from the fact that you had remembered a detail he shared in passing. (He says ‘in passing’ but he had gone into detail about where to procure the best ingredients for each component of the meal while you listened to him with eager nods. The bamboo shoots, he recognizes, are from Qingce Village. Did you remember even the smallest details from your conversation when he speaks?) Like many other times before, he is speechless. It seems as though you are constantly surprising him-- for the better.

"What happens next?"

Zhongli blinks, the steam from his bowl rising up to his face. "Pardon?"

"Oh, never mind! We should eat first!" You say, smiling widely in a way that makes his heart leap. You pick up your chopsticks and click them together playfully. "But tell me what happens next in the story later on, Zhongli-xiansheng."

"One day you'll find yourself someone who listens to you and you'll talk their ear off."

Zhongli remembers Guizhong telling him this time and time again, though he never believed in it. He is old-fashioned, he always replies back. He is overly burdened by the expectations of his family and passionate in things that most others cannot care to relate to. How would he know that someday, as proof of the wisdom (or perhaps abundance of hope and love) that Guizhong held, he would find someone who cared enough to listen and look at him as though he knew the meaning of life itself?

The bright-eyed gaze you shoot at him lasts only a moment, and perhaps you don't even know the magnitude of your gesture, but Zhongli feels his chest burn nonetheless with gratitude and soften at the kindness you have shown him. He reaches out to place his hand gently on yours. "Thank you," he says, squeezing your hand. "I'll be sure to not lose my place in the story then so you can hear the rest of it."

He blinks when you look at him, frozen and wide-eyed, and that is when he retracts his hand, feeling as embarrassed as you look. "Ah, my apologies again--"

"No, it's-- it's alright," you stammer, looking down at your bowl. Zhongli feels his face redden and he drops his gaze as well. "But yes, you better remember! I'm counting on you!"

"Yes-- yes, of course," he says, clearing his throat. "It would be my pleasure to." Before Zhongli can wallow in mortification, he hears the beginnings of your laugh and looks up to see your smile as wide as ever. And just like that, he can feel himself be at ease again, just as you have always made him feel with your presence.

"Perhaps next time," he says, a small smile dancing on his lips, "my lady can tell me a story instead."

"Only if you fill in the details I missed," you quip back easily, and he laughs.

Even with an impeccable memory, Zhongli still cannot remember the last time he has ever laughed so easily and so readily as though he could never run out of laughter. He thinks of quiet hours in his study, pouring over pages of text without speaking till his voice grows hoarse from disuse. He remembers days of entertaining guests who never truly listened to what he was saying, and he finds that he is the happiest he has ever been for a long time.

He has you to thank for that.

This is why he responds back, with a soft reverence that is reserved only for you. "Of course." He returns your smile with his own. "I would be honored to, my Princess."

.

.

.

Reverence should be a tone well-practiced and used in the royal court, but when Zhongli stands aside during the proceedings, he hears very little of it directed toward you. You have half of the court talking over you despite your grace, and he can clearly see your patience wear thin when your presence goes unacknowledged by one of the court officials.

"My studies have been going steadily," you speak unto the crowd, clearly and powerfully, as though you have always known how to command attention. Projecting your voice, you maintain your gaze on all of them as you speak. Zhongli can see from the way your hands clench at your side that despite your display, fear has not left you, and for that, his pride for you seems to overflow.

"With the xiansheng, I can foresee being able to replace my great uncle for the time before the end of this year," you say. "I will have prepared myself dutifully until the time has come--"

"The end of this year?" One of the nobles exclaims in protest, making you pause. "How would you be ready at the end of the calendar when you have started lessons, not even yesteryear?"

"I can't imagine the magnitude of power placed upon the shoulders of the inexperienced,” another one drawls. “Perhaps, ah, the Princess will consider taking a husband to make up for it?"

Zhongli doesn't realize he's gripping imprints into the palm of his hands until he goes to raise his hand and realizes they have gone numb from his tension. The nerve of some of the nobles-- some of which he can recognize have never sought to be on your side. He wishes nothing more than to be able to provide them a verbal lashing, but he knows that neither you nor he can do anything at this point in time.

With knowledge comes power, and you do not know enough to utilize the title you have nor the inherent authority that comes with it. Though one day, you will, if he can help it, regardless of what has been expected of him.

It makes his skin crawl to know that many nobles look to him and believe he is on their side. How many times have they requested him to keep you away from the main chambers to check on your great uncle? How many times have they hoped he would provide falsities and ignorance in the guise of guidance so that you would never truly ascend to the throne? Even with the promise of power beyond his wildest dreams, Zhongli cannot bring it to himself to manipulate you in such a manner. Even though his hands are clean, he still cannot help but taste sin on his lips for knowing the harm that exists against you without your knowledge.

When is the right time to inform you, if at all? Is it kind or cruel of him to keep this ploy from you? (Is his judgment even sound, as muddled as it is with his rapidly growing feelings for you?)

You narrow your eyes, your lips pressed in a straight line, but you refrain, once again. And Zhongli feels a burst of pride at your show of restraint and composure fitting of a lady of your status. "Yes, this may be one of the things I will take into consideration, and I appreciate--" Zhongli feels himself tense at the way you spoke, "--the counsel of the court, though I still foresee my way coming to fruition regardless."

There is a stilted silence that follows your words, and you look toward the messenger who has come with the land's grievances in letters. "I believe this matter can be discussed at a later time," you say with finality. "Let us look at the first report from the harbor."

Using what you know from your lessons thus far, you guide the conversation towards solutions for the problems brought to the court by the people. You are too inexperienced to make decisions on your own, gathering opinions from your council; corrupt or not, they know more about managing land than you. But Zhongli sees how you watch carefully as the discussion continues, letting the information sink in so that you can utilize it in the future, and he is reminded again of how far you have come from a princess holding that urn to the prospective empress quietly learning how to lead a country.

(Is it any surprise at all that he is enamored with you?)

Court adjourns after hours, and Zhongli follows you as you leave first, your robes billowing behind you seamlessly as you hold your head up high. The guards bow their heads as you pass by them, your ladies-in-waiting slowly retreating from the room when you arrive, closing the door behind them. The moment everyone is gone, you sigh in relief, your shoulders dropping to a more comfortable height as you stretch your arms and legs.

“I applaud you on your conduct during court,” Zhongli says finally, amused by how nonchalant you act in comparison to how high-strung you are in front of others. “That was an impressive display of authority.” He sees your face flush from the compliment as you stammer out your thanks. He chuckles. "Perhaps I should start getting used to calling you 'Empress’ then, Princess.”

"Yes?" Zhongli replies, confused. "Is that not a title you would like to be referred to?"

"'Princess?'" He hears you echo, turning yourself to him, and Zhongli loses his train of thoughts when he sees your expression with brows pulled together, disconcerted. "Just... 'princess?'"

"No--well, yes..." you say, trailing off. Your hand, out of habit, nervously reaches up to fiddle with your brooch. "I was just thinking you would have normally referred to me a little differently is all."

Zhongli tilts his head slightly in thought as he watches you press your lips together in what he assumes to be in embarrassment. Has he been calling you differently without his knowledge? He doesn’t think so; you have always been the Princess for him, and he, your xiansheng.

But, ah, he thinks, he has not always called you ‘my Princess’ has he? (Astonishing what one word can change.)

For a brief moment, Zhongli’s mind wonders whether he has overstepped his boundary, but he quickly reminds himself with your words, that if you truly did not want him to call you by that, you would tell him. The fact you protested at his recent use of your title… It was the slip of the tongue; Amber has referred to you by the same title, and Zhongli has always, in some form, coveted the same level of intimacy that the two of you possessed. His fondness for you must have seeped into his words, and he would never have anticipated having you reciprocate.

That being said, could you blame him for feeling pleased that you wanted to be referred to as his Princess?

“But 'Princess' is fine,” he hears you say, gathering the composure to sweep your hands down your gown and appear nonplussed. You take out your fan and hold it to your face as you begin to walk toward the study. “I don’t mind it. You should call me as you so wish, I--”

Your laughter is enough as a sign of validation, but then he hears you say, shier than you have ever been, “My xiansheng,” and he thinks his heart balloons until it takes up the entire expanse of his chest with how much affection he feels for you.

"It is soon time for our next lessons," he says, following behind you without pause, "my Princess." And he watches, enamored, as you look back at him with a smile blooming on your face. "Is that... alright with you?"

“Yes,” he says to you, feeling as though that is the only thing he can say. You shoot him another captivating smile and turn, and all Zhongli can do is walk only a step behind you.

.

.

.

And he follows you for as long as you will allow him, hoping his choice to keep the darkness at bay is the right one.

[engazed]

What advice would you give new (shy) writers?

As a shy writer myself, hello! Welcome to the club.

My advice comes in two parts:

Pretend you're not shy. Until you do, you won't put your work out there. Pretending can be the key to getting a lot of things done, actually. It's the whole 'fake it till you make it' routine, which, in this case, means getting your work in front of readers. Write what you love, what makes you happy and entertains you, and then let loose the reins and share it.

Worried about what people with think/feel/say after they've read your work? That brings me to piece of advice #2: Learn not to take offence. No, really. It's a hard thing to do in any part of your life, but it's the best way to live, it really is. You will never please everyone, and life is filled with unpleasantness, and that includes unpleasant people. Some of them only take satisfaction in spreading that unpleasantness around, and that often means their aspersions fall your way. I've certainly experienced that. I've had haters, detractors, critics, and angry readers tell me just what they think of me and my work, and the hatred seems to weigh more than the love when set on a scale. It sticks in your brain. You remember the vitriol longer than you remember the accolades. How you respond makes all the difference. So do one of the following: (1) Ignore it. Simply don't respond to the haters. If it's a private message, don't answer it. If it's a public comment, hello, delete it. Engaging fuels the fire, yours included, and can be a time suck and an energy depletion machine. You owe no one. (2) Respond kindly. Sometimes all you need to do is thank someone for their thoughts and end the conversation. 'I'm sorry you didn't like it, but thanks for taking time to read anyway!' Once or twice, I have even offered a recommendation: 'It seems like this story is not for you. May I instead suggest you read X by Y? It has the angst but none of the violence, which may be more what you're looking for.' You might even respond with humor. Whatever the response is, if you choose to respond at all, remember that you are conversing with another human, and even if you were treated poorly, that doesn't mean you have to respond in kind. Just kindly. :) Your response says something about you, so decide what that will be. Whether reader or writer, I think not taking offence is something we could all use a little extra practice with. Just because it's lobbed my way mean I have to run and catch it. And most of the time, it was never intended as insult anyway, so I shouldn't imagine it was.

This advice was mostly responding to to the 'shy' part of your description, not to the craft of writing itself, so if this is unhelpful, shoot me another query.

[falsegoodnight]

a new header??? it matches better <3 these are the fics I read or reread and enjoyed this month! like last time, i’m separating it into different sections: main list, wips, and non-1d. rereads will be included in the main list and marked with a star (*). 

*note: this list encompasses the fics i’ve read from the 1st to the 28th only

—

main list ~

✰ Don’t Wait Up by reliablyimperfect | NR | 1k

Without Harry’s warmth next to him, he felt the chill of the air creep over his skin. He tugged the blanket down from where Harry kept one draped over the back of the couch for him, grateful. With the blanket, he instantly felt warmer, but it backfired when his eyes began to droop again. Trying to keep his eyes open was impossible, and he was consciously aware of how long his blinks were becoming. They stay closed longer and longer until, eventually, they didn’t open again.

so soft and sweet and lovely! made my heart feel so warm <3 will return to this for some quick comfort in the future!

✰ my ugly mouth kept running by @hadestyles | E | 4k

Sometimes second chances are more important than the first.

rori’s lush writing + abo + exes to lovers = absolute perfection. my fic cameo gives it a bonus too :’) definitely one of my rori favs 

✰ i’ve loved you three summers now honey, i want them all by @softloubabie | M | 4k

The restaurant was small and bright, soft colors filled the walls and tables and fairy lights hung from everywhere. From what Harry had read, the food wasn’t overly expensive but it was still comparable to what you would get at one of the more expensive places. If Harry could he would take Louis to the biggest most expensive and extravagant restaurants to do what he planned to tonight, but this would do.

After being led to their table Harry nervously tapped his jacket pocket, sighing in relief when he felt the small box still there. Tonight was the night. He couldn’t wait till it was time to surprise Louis with all the gifts he got for him. Then finally the big surprise.

so cute and sweet! their kids were so adorable and the proposal so lovely!! they love each other so much <3

✰ love me in between the future and the past by navigator & quitter | E | 11k

Harry's scared of history repeating itself.

this honestly hurt to read but in such a raw and emotional way?? was mad at harry and then sad for him :( this writer duo’s fics never fail to amaze me!

✰ sunshine on my mind by @raspberryoatss | E | 13k

Louis visits Harry in Portland

this was so sweet and lovely! the perfect addition to this wonderful universe! pip’s characterizations and fluff never fails to make my heart feel warm <3

✰ rapture in the dark by @stylinsonsupporter | T | 13k

Harry Styles is a breakout musician who has shed his boyband label in favor of embracing his inner brooding rockstar. His PR team think that his rebrand is the perfect time for Harry to come out of the closet and have devised the perfect plan for doing so. Enter Louis Tomlinson, up and coming (and very openly homosexual) model whose public image as America's Sweetheart is the perfect foil for Harry's new edge. From a PR standpoint, it's a dream come true - a power couple that can slowly coax the public into accepting Harry's altered image. The only problem? They hate each other.

always love a good fake dating au and this is no exception! and model louis >> really enjoyed this!

✰ Maybe, Baby* by thoughtsickles | M | 16k | mpreg

It all feels too easy, too good to be true. It all feels like a scene from Louis' daydreams, the kind of life he'd always imagined he'd have when he was younger and bored at his momma's work, sneaking around the hallways of the maternity ward until the nurses let him in to hold the babies. He'd felt so important being allowed to touch them. He'd told them stories of the lives they were going to have, houses with nice wallpaper that wasn't peeling, yards filled with sunshine and flowers and grass that never went yellow. A hammock to nap in, cuddled up with his husband.

You can't stay here, he tells himself, but Baby doesn't want to listen.

have reread this one quite a bit of times now and it still makes me so happy <3 this Louis and Harry deserve the world <333

✰ Let Me Inside by reliablyimperfect | E | 18k

Louis is Harry’s boss, but Harry is the boss of Louis. 

loved this one! really enjoyed the balance between h&l and how they maintained their dynamic in subtle ways outside of the bedroom while also keeping it separate. very much enjoyed the jealousy as well <3

✰ a scintilla of predilection by @dehydratedpoolfics | T | 20k

There, in the far back of the room, next to the only available seat left, is none other than Harry Styles. Harry, who grew up next door to him, who knew all his secrets as a child and played FIFA with him on Saturday mornings after he would spend the night Friday evenings every week, whose curly hair would tickle his nose as they held each other during bitter cold nights that made his room glow a haunting blue.

love ex-childhood friends with misunderstandings!! louis was so cute and i loved his poetry <3 harry too was so stupid but so smitten and lovely :’) really enjoyed this!

✰ Keeping The Flame Alive by @crazyupsetter​ | E | 20k

Recording with One Direction never felt like this. There’s a couple reasons for that, Harry thinks. One is that they did most of their recording on the road, rushed and in busses and hotel rooms, never in one place long enough to really get an argument going. The other, larger and more important one, is that back then he had the sweetest, meanest little omega around to distract him from all of that frustration.

The first time around, when he’d been recording his debut solo album, it hit him pretty hard. He likes to think he’s better adjusted to it now, but frustration is warring under his skin nonetheless. He doesn’t want to be told what to do most of the time, and he especially doesn’t want to be told what to do when it comes to his music.

What he does want right now is that sweet, mean little omega right in front of him with his mouth on Harry’s cock. Unfortunately, the best he’s got is his own hand and a shared toilet. So. That’s really not going to work.

✰ like it’s a game* by @soldouthaz | E | 32k

There is little Harry hates more than truth or dare.

And Louis.

queen of enemies to lovers! it’s been a while since i’ve reread this but too absolutely no surprise, it’s just as amazing as always <3 sarah never misses!

✰ Too Young To Know by @2tiedships2 | M | 35k

Harry doesn’t present as an alpha… until he does.

really enjoyed this as per usual! exes to lovers is my jam and the added angst of Louis dating someone else at the beginning... love <3

✰ Some Things Take Root* by  navigator & quitter | E | 50k

Louis' ex doesn't get jealous of anyone besides Harry. Harry helps Louis use that to his advantage.

stumbled upon this randomly and decided to reread on a whim... ended up staying up to read it in one sitting! so good!

✰ Safe and Sound (You’ll Always Be) by @all-these-larrythings | E | 58k

When a failed case and a guilty conscience leaves Harry more than a little lost, his boss presents him with a new, less taxing assignment to help him cope. An escape from all the madness is just what Harry needs to get his life back on track. It's just too bad his new client has a grin like the devil, a pair of electric eyes that Harry simply can't get over, and no intention whatsoever of letting him catch a break.

i don’t know how i’ve never read this before??? it was absolutely amazing though! perfect blend of humor and fluff and tension and angst <3

✰ Mind Over Matter (You Under Me) by @youreyesonlarry | E | 74k

It’s dark outside when Harry finishes practice for the day. 

the slow burn in this fic killed me - which is to say, it was perfect! loved how they progressed from working together to being friends to something more and how much they genuinely cared for each other! the hockey was so fun too!

✰ Call Out My Name by frenchkiss | E | 102k

Apparently, it's bad PR to fall in love with the omega you hired to help you through your rut.

Harry Styles begs to differ.

ellen truly knocked it out of the park with this one!! had everything i could ever want: abo, famous/non-famous, fluff, humor, angst, drama, and more! i loved it from beginning to end!

wips ~

✰ ‘cause all our tomorrows lead the way by @loubellies | E | 64k | 7/11

So maybe Louis’ in over his head.

He had signed up for the Bachelor on a whim after his second bottle of wine and well, here he is. He’s just been announced as the twenty-sixth Bachelor and his ass is sweating. Like, literally sweating. He’s positive that if he was to turn around, the entirety of Bachelor Nation would get a nice peek of his ass sweat.

am thoroughly enjoying each chapter!! it’s been a wild ride so far and although things are currently calm, i am still on edge!! but i trust mar with my life <3

✰ Truth Behind Golden Eyes by @lwtisloved | E | 83k | 8/16 

Louis is a royal servant born with magic in a kingdom where his sole existence is outlawed with a war he has no idea he has a part in upon him. Harry is the prince on whom the burden of mending a broken kingdom falls upon and he might be willing to risk it all for a simple servant if only he admitted it to himself.

caught up last night! still really enjoying every chapter and can’t wait to see what happens next!! things are *happening* with h&l and answers are being given!! (love the jealousy too!)

non-1d ~

✰ Keep Me Close (I Need Your Faith) by @princelouisau | E | 23k

Somewhere along the way he had fallen in love and in doing so, had broken the one rule he knew he couldn’t come back from. As quickly as he realised, he decided that he must never dare speak it. He resigned himself to loving Draco in silence.

first foray into reading drarry... and, to no one’s surprise, i loved it! beautiful writing as always and beautiful atmosphere! it’s really not a shock that i fell for these characters and their story when danielle is behind it <3 it had me entranced from beginning to end!!

finally, i myself actually posted a fic this month:

my fics ~

✰ yesterday came suddenly by me | E | 49k | mpreg 

Harry the deadliest member of the NYC assassins’ guild, is forced to face a seemingly impossible task in hopes of finally leaving the underground behind for good, but when ghosts from the past come back to haunt him, escaping the darkness becomes that much harder.

If you read any of these beautiful works of art, remember to leave kudos and comment to show your appreciation!

*if i made any errors, please let me know :)

enjoy!

[littlespaceanddid]

Baby Boy

Chapter: Two

Word Count: 1.0k

⚠️Trigger Warnings: brief mention of self-harm

Caregiver!Peter Parker, FTM Little!Oc

I hated school. I never understood the assignments and the teachers were mean. Tony tried explaining the work to me, yet I still wasn't able to grasp it.   Today, I was even more stressed out. With my dream last night, the gender dysphoria burning into my head, and what I did in the bathroom, school was the last thing I wanted to do.

That's why I felt myself slipping in class. My mind drifted into my littlespace. I pulled out my pacifier from my backpack, slipping it into my mouth and pulling my mask over it so it wasn't obvious I was using it.

I looked over at Peter, who sat concentrated on whatever the teacher was saying. I debated telling him I was in littlespace, but I decided not to bother him.

I pulled out some markers from my backpack and began coloring all over my notebook. Sitting there doodling made me happy. I felt glad to be in my littlespace in that moment. I still felt stressed out, don't get me wrong, but at least I had an outlet for my stress.

I looked up and realized the class was over. I gathered my things, shoving them into my backpack. I left the classroom, Peter quickly behind me.

"Were you listening to the lesson?" Peter asked curiously. I shook my head.

"Don't worry, I can help you. I know you're stressed out right now," Peter said, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. I leaned into him, shutting my eyes for a brief moment. He kissed the top of my head.

"I'll see you after class!" He exclaimed, turning around and practically running to his next class. I waved goodbye sadly and walked into the doorway of AP Biology.

- - - - -

Tony sat in the living room, something incoherent playing in the background. He was pretty sure it was a crime show, but he wasn't paying any attention to it.

What he was paying attention to however, was Isabella. This was the eighth time he woke up to her screaming. Since she was basically his child, he needed to make sure she was okay. How he would go about asking her was another question.

He decided to set something up with Friday. Everytime Isabella woke up screaming, he would be alerted. He would then go to her room and check in and maybe even comfort her if needed.

He also added something to Friday's new program about alerting him if there was a major change in her, such as being more happy or sad. He figured this would help a lot more. True it may be spying on her, but she was important to him. He wanted to make sure she was okay. And this was the best way to help with it. Or so he thought.

- - - - -

My hands hung loosely by my side as Peter and I rode up the elevator. I swung them aimlessly side to side. Peter and I sat in comfortable silence as we waited for the floor we wanted to arrive.

I couldn't wait till I got home. I wanted to check on my Sims 4 sims and maybe get some little time in after homework to avoid self-harming and having a panic attack. Maybe Peter and I could watch the new Mitchells VS Machines movie that just came out on Netflix. Either way, I was eager to get home.

With a ding, the elevator dropped us off on the floor with the living room and our bedrooms on it. Peter and I left the elevator and entered the spacious area.

As I was walking towards my room, I realized how often I'd been regressing recently. It probably wasn't a good sign, but I didn't really have a therapist to talk to about it. I would just have to try avoiding voluntarily regressing for a while.

When I entered my room, the first thing I noticed was how spotless it was. Someone must have came in and cleaned it while I was gone.

I sat down at my computer and turned on the Sims 4. I sat playing around with the little characters for a while. I found it funny how I put in more effort into taking care of fake little computer characters I had created than myself. It is what it is, right?

Time passed. I eventually finished on the Sims and went to work on some homework, which I was absolutely no good at. The work stressed me out beyond belief. My teachers didn't put much care into how their students felt about the work they were assigned, which was too bad to be honest.

I tried my hardest to complete my Algebra 1 homework, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get past the first question. I groaned in mental agony.

"Friday, ask Peter to come here please," I called out towards the AI.

"Alright Miss June, I will."

A few moments later and Peter was knocking on my bedroom door. I called out for him to come in, sitting back up on my bed.

"What's up?" He asked, leaning against the door.

"I need help," I whined, already feeling myself slipping.

"Okay! What with?"

"Algebra 1."

He walked over to my bed and sat down beside me. He picked up my homework sheet and began reading the section I was on.

"Mhm.. Okay," He said, "Well..." He began to go off about the work, but I wasn't listening. My brain was too busy slipping into my headspace. Peter noticed this and set the homework sheet down.

"Hey little one."

"Hewo daddy!" My cheerful voice said.

Peter walked over to my closet and grabbed my paci, rabbit, and a few other things from the box. He handed them to me and sat back down. I noticed one of the thing he grabbed was my two coloring books and a box of crayons.

"Here you go baby. Do you want to color with me?" He asked.

I shook my head yes, popping my paci into my mouth. Peter smiled. He handed me my My Little Pony coloring book and the crayons. He grabbed an orange crayon from the box and began coloring in a picture. I giggled slightly.

That's when there was a knock on the door.

"Are you okay Isabella?" Tony's voice spoke through the other side of the wall.